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staycalmandhugaclone · 4 months

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Identity Pt 5

Part (5) of Identity, the next arc of Doc's Misadventures! If you're new, start at the beginning with Touch Starved!

I really meant to finish this arc today... looks like there's going to be one more chapter after this, though... Such is the way of writing, I guess...

Warnings: Minor flashbacks/PTSD, reference to torture, loads of guilt and tension, otherwise mostly just fluff and angst

WC: 3,820

Science disproved the fallacy of “muscle memory” eons ago. The antiquated theory that cells somehow held some semblance of thought toward self-preservation, enough at least to react independent of heightened nerve bundles, now resided only in layman’s speech in which the physiology behind impulse control, voluntary and involuntary motions, and even the sympathetic systems responsible for endless bodily functions initiated by the fight or flight response were simply inconsequential. Whether someone believed their hand jerked away from a burning iron due to the hand’s fear of pain or from the spinal cord’s ability to recognize and react to such acute dangers absent direction from the brain doesn’t change the reality that the hand moved before the individual ever registered that they were burning.

I wasn’t burning. I wasn’t drowning, nor was I bound to some unbreakable surface. Logic told me that the danger had passed, but my body remembered only the agony of being held on the edge of death for what could have been days or minutes for all my mind could make sense of it. The delicate tissues lining my airways couldn’t forget the hurt from that chilled, rancid water, and the part of my brain that held no value toward thought or rationale overruled any hope of overcoming the frenzied panic reawaken by the memory of that hurt.

That first, desperate gasp left me spasming beneath such violent coughs, my body could do nothing more than curl weakly onto its side, diaphragm convulsing both from the effort to clear my lungs of every drop of that putrid liquid and from the simple, consuming need for air that had been denied from me for far, far too long. I felt myself reach toward my face, hand trembling as my fingertips darted over my cheeks, my hair, searching for that mask before it could tighten around my lips once more, before it could be used to rob me of sight that I might find myself even more helpless, unable to guess towards when that water would begin to drown me leaving me panicking anew at every sound, every hint of movement around me.

But there was nothing there.

My legs shifted in thoughtless, jerked motions if only to confirm nothing remained locked around my ankles, vaguely noting that no merciless restraints had prevented me from turning onto my side. Only my own weakness hindered my movements. The surface below me was far too soft in light of the memory of whatever I’d been bound to… The walls around me were too clean… And that voice…

“Easy, med’ika… shh, just breathe.” Chest still jerking with an occasional cough, I managed to look toward that familiar voice, and the depth of mourning that suddenly swept through me left me cold in a way I couldn’t explain. I would find no solace in denial after glimpsing the heartbreaking regret in those golden eyes. My nightmares had been real. Comet couldn’t even bring himself to reach for me yet, hands hovering before him as he forced himself to maintain some measure of a “safe” distance between us lest his presence send me into the same panic I’d lost myself in when I woke to find Wolffe holding me.

I loathed the lingering terror, but seeing how the kind man before me hurt because of my pain… that’s what drew the flood of tears to my eyes, and when I looked at him once more, when I let him see the desperate need burning through me, something too close to a sob escaped him. Free of that earlier hesitation, he lowered himself onto his knees at my bedside, movements torn between rushed and gentle as he pulled me against him, and I readily pressed myself into that embrace, fingers clawing into the sleek fabric atop him ribs, face burring itself into the notch of his shoulder.

“I’m sorry… Maker, I’m so sorry…” He murmured, lips shifting atop my hair. My chest twisted at his words, mind reaching for any way I might convince him that he wasn’t at fault, that there was no way to anticipate an attack by a third party; that his guilt only left me crying harder against him for the guilt it stirred within me, but all I could manage was to shake my head, silently begging him to understand.

“Shh, we’ve got you, med’ika… You’re safe now.” My hand tightened around his shirt, straining to force some measure of steadiness into hitched breaths as I dragged my mind back from that grief and fear if only for the hope that it might grant him some quiet as well. His embrace didn’t waver even after the tension began to ease from my aching body, and I made no effort to push even a whisper of distance between us.

“How-” The first attempt at speech nearly sent me back into a wretched coughing fit, but I managed to suppress it, wincing as I cleared my throat. “How did you find me?” Still, my voice was barely audible, the hoarse words dragging painfully along the raw tissue of my throat.

“Wolffe.” He answered simply, but the moment of hesitation that followed drew my gaze up to find him gnawing absently at his cheek, eyes turned blindly toward the far side of the room. “I… I think he reached out to the… to…” His jaw tensed, mind churning over how to answer before shifting to sit atop the edge of the mattress with a sigh, and I didn’t fight the way he carefully dragged me onto his lap. “I think he figured if he could get the kind of intel we came here for, he probably had some way of figuring out where’d they’d take you.” Oh… my father… I didn’t press for more and nodded as I rested my head back against Comet’s shoulder, pleased to feel him relax slightly in response.

Only then did I begin to really notice pain beyond the burn that accompanied every breath, the consuming ache set deep in my lungs. My left arm was immobilized in a splint, and I could feel the subtle pressure of bandages wrapped around my chest and leg.

“What happened?” I asked, the question barely more than a wheeze as I flared my fingers pointedly. With a sigh, his hold finally began to loosen.

“It was just dislocated.” He explained, thumb dragging absently over my arm, almost more as a self-soothing gesture than in an attempt to comfort me. “You bruised a couple ribs when the gala blew up – got a nice burn on your calf from it. Looks like most of it was just from when you were…” His arms tightened nervously, again stumbling slightly over his words. “Trying to get free.” He finished, voice dropping as though it would lessen the impact those words might have. Just the thought of how violently I’d fought against those damned restraints, the terror fueling my limbs well past what they should have been capable of threatened to draw a cold sweat from me. Still, I found myself looking down to see the thick layer of cloth wrapped about my wrists, clearly able to imagine how the skin had been worn raw and torn in my frenzy.

“And the datachip?” I could hear the cold acceptance in my own voice, certain that it had been lost and all the effort and planning and pain amounted to nothing.

“Safe.” He assured me quietly. “They got the bracelet, but we ended the connection before they could trace it back.” I let out a slow sigh of relief at that and tried to let myself treasure a moment of stillness, to let my mind drift thoughtlessly as I fought to to convince myself that the horrors of that dark room might be left in the past, and that I might find solace in the knowledge that I was still alive, that, despite how certain I’d been of my own impending death, how much I’d longed for the comfort of what release it surely promised, I’d survived.

We were barely a day out from the Negotiator. I didn’t want to think about how everyone would react to what had happened, didn’t want to think about how I’d react to even trying to tell them. Despite the dread of dealing with that impeding conversation and all it entailed, still I was eager to rejoin them, to escape the tense quiet staling the air of this ship; the way Boost and Sinker stifled even the hint of a disagreement, how strained Warthog’s laugh had become. Even Wolffe had fallen into something far too somber, making no effort to avoid me though I could see the guilt in his eyes if ever we crossed paths. I hated it.

When I tread thoughtlessly into the bunkroom, I hadn’t expected to find him lying prone atop his cot, eyes intently closed though I held little doubt that he was still awake. I hesitated for barely a breath before yielding beneath the need urging me forward. His brow cocked, eyes opening just enough to glance toward me before shutting once more as I nestled onto the thin pad beside him, barely an inch separating us.

“Something wrong with your bed, kid?” He asked, voice falling back into what, to anyone else, surely sounded more akin to an irritated growl than the subtle teasing I knew it to be.

“Yeah. It’s way over there.” I retorted, and I relished the balm of comfort gleaned from the way his lips twitched ever so briefly into a smirk. Still, I could stand the silence that followed for only so long amidst the scream of questions roaring through my head.

“Did you know?” It was barely loud enough to be called speech, all mirth from that brief quip abandoning me. His throat shifted, jaw tensing a moment before opening his eyes to stare blindly at the empty bunk above him.

“What part?” The softness in how he spoke only worked to remind me of that terrible guilt, and I suddenly feared it was a curse they’d never be able to free themselves of.

“My father.” He was still for a moment before quietly drawing in a deep breath.

“No.” He whispered. “I knew he was from Agamar; that he’d lost his family to the war, but I didn’t know who he was until you met him.” I swallowed back whatever relief or remorse or regret vied to break me and shifted just enough to rest my forehead against his shoulder.

“Was he behind the bomb?” He didn’t need to answer me. I knew I was right by the tension that stole through him.

“He figured you’d be out by then.” Wolffe explained, as though it might quell whatever betrayal he feared the confirmation might bring, but I felt nothing; allowed myself to feel nothing even as I wondered if I should blame my father for what had been done to me.

“Comet said he helped you find me?” A small grunt caught in his throat, and I pulled back just enough to see the beginnings of a scowl distort his face.

“Comet talks too much.” Wolffe mumbled but let out a short huff before explaining. “I had to tell him who you were – he wouldn’t risk any of his operatives until I did.” I didn’t hear the apology laced through those quiet words. My body went stiff, air staling in my chest, numb to whatever hurt still lingered there. Would he know what my capture meant? What they’d do to me? Was he replaying our every shared word lit anew with the heartbreaking realization that I’d known him the instant I saw him, that I’d chosen not to reveal myself when he’d failed to recognize me in kind?

I didn’t notice Wolffe’s gaze turn toward me, didn’t note the sharp concern in eyes far more comfortable in an impatient glare until his arm wrapped around my shoulders, and I let myself be drawn flush against his side, cheek resting atop his chest.

“He’s made his own choices. Try not to blame yourself for the actions of a man you haven’t seen in nearly a decade.” The deadpan look he shot me was enough to draw a small chuckle. Before I could respond, the bunkroom door opened behind me.

“That poor man…” I whispered, unable to fathom what he must be going through now. Wolffe didn’t try to hide that familiar eyeroll, drawing my attention back to him.

“Ooo, we’re having a cuddle party on the commander’s bunk?” I was laughing before Wolffe’s warning growl fell silent, knowing those words easily carried throughout the ship.

“Boost.” His chest rumbled with the threat laced through his brother’s name, but Boost was already in motion, and the cot groaned beneath his weight as the man hoisted himself gracelessly across us, shuffling noisily until his back rested against the wall and his legs stretched overtop mine and Wolffe’s thighs, hapless grin toying with his lips in blatant disregard for the lethal glare Wolffe had trained on him.

“Boost.” He called again, voice lowering into something far more dangerous.

“Think the long-necks’ll get pissed if we break it?” Warthog asked mere seconds later, his own words nearly breaking out into a laughter of his own. Wolffe let out a slow tense sigh as the pilot pushed his way onto the bed above me, forcing the both of us to shift until he’d wedged his torso beneath our shoulders.

“Depends on the story you come up with to explain how it broke.” Boost replied.

“The Commander already sent in the report – you’d have to find a damn good reason for it to break outside of the actual mission.” Comet advised from behind me, already easing himself onto the too-thin strip of remaining mattress.

“Nah, we’ll just tell ‘em they built it wrong.” Warthog replied, chuckling at his own words. Despite his nonchalance, the instant the bed began to creak, we all tensed, but he went back to laughing openly when Wolffe craned his neck to glare at the man.

I’d forgotten about this. Hunter and his brothers were close, but it was different here. Where once the 104th was a standard battalion, now only five remained. That kind of loss could have driven them apart, ruined by grief and despair. Instead, they sought refuge in what few brothers they still had. The simple act of touch brings with it a comfort that can’t be replicated with drugs or kind words. The innocence fueling the need for that comfort, for the silent reassurance that they were still alive, was precious, and when the weight of this war fell too heavily on their shoulders, there was no one who understood that burden more than the men around them.

If felt like hours had passed before something begrudgingly pulled me back to a weary awareness, unsure at first what had woken me, but even in the darkness, I found the brilliant gold of Sinker’s eyes studying the dark cloth immobilizing my shoulder. The muscle lay bunched beneath his cheeks, brows drawn harshly together, tense breaths so near to breaking even as his fingers rested lightly atop my arm. The instant his gaze flicked to mine, the instant he realized I was awake, that I’d seen him in that moment of vulnerability, his expression instantly softened, but he made no effort to pull away from me.

“Didn’t mean to wake you.” He murmured, voice barely audible amidst the lazy, deep breaths of his sleeping brothers nestled all around me. “We’re still a few hours out – you should get some more rest.”

I didn’t try to reply, mind already teetering back into that gentle release, but I couldn’t forget the initial glimpse of despair I’d seen in him, heart breaking at the reminder of how deeply they hurt because of what happened to me. Without a word, I flared my fingers out, unable to move the limb more than slightly twisting my wrist toward him. His lips pulled into a weak smirk, shoulders sinking beneath of heavy sigh, but he shifted to slip his hand in mine. Body relaxing with a slow breath, I held him firmly against me, chin tucking against my chest enough to lightly touch my lips to his knuckles as I let my eyes slide shut once more. Still, he didn’t try to pull away, not until long after I’d fallen back into a gentle sleep.

Knowing that each passing second brought me closer to the Negotiator, to the inevitability of reliving those horrors first in telling Cody, and then again in telling my squad only worked to drive me back to the brink of panic. I couldn’t stay in a room with them; couldn’t see their remorse and not dread the thought of seeing that same expression haunt Hunter’s face, of the rage that might threaten to overwhelm Crosshair or the sorrow that would weigh on Wrecker… I hadn’t begun to figure out how to tell any of them… what to tell them. What was I allowed to tell them…

It was easy to hope the following day would bring some reprieve to the stiffness with which they held themselves around me, that a night piled in that too-small cot together might free them of that tension, but I was to be granted no such relief. Conversation had never felt awkward with them before, but now they tripped over nearly every word shared with me, as though second guessing if they were about to say something that might remind me the lifetime I’d spent drowning at the mercy of my interrogator, which, in turn, left me unable to think about anything but that helplessness, that utter certainty that I was dying, and the terrible acceptance that I was powerless to stop it.

I’d found myself practically hiding in the fresher for that last half hour, torn between grief and relief to finally let myself slip back into the safety of my armor before rejoining the others as the ship began to dock.

“Still can’t get used to seein’ you in those colors.” Warthog grunted from pilot’s chair.

“It’s been over a year, Warthog.” I drawled, forcing what I hoped to be a lightness into my still-scratchy voice.

“Yeah, but… did they have to go with something so… edgy?” I instantly felt my shoulders tense.

“Sorry.” He muttered after several long seconds. I had to grind my lips between my teeth to keep my breath from hitching, unable to either apologize for my tone nor to dismiss the exchange altogether. No one spoke again until the engine faded into a quiet hum before finally shutting off, and I again found myself loathing the tension, loathing myself for having brought it back en force so thoughtlessly as we approached the ramp.

“They’ve more than earned the right to wear whatever they want… and we do enough stealth missions to warrant darker colors.” I hadn’t meant for it to come out like that, for it to sound like I was berating him, but I was too anxious to restrain that flash of anger, and my heart sank at the heavy silence that instantly followed.

I should have assumed they’d be there; that Tech would alert the others the instant the non-GAR issued ship made its approach and found some way to prepare myself, but I could do nothing more than stare at the collection of eager faces and hesitant smiles awaiting me at the base of that ramp; should have thought toward how I might steel myself for seeing those familiar faces fall into uncertainty and concern upon noting that damned sling that I should have omitted at least for those first few minutes. I should have offered some light-hearted reassurance, found some means of dismissing their fears before they could begin to twist and grow with all the unanswered questions for those past few days, but I had nothing – no gentle greeting nor quick-witted remark as automated movements led me toward them in the wake of Wolffe’s steps.

“Um…” The strangled sound caught in my throat, unable to look at them even through the protective cover of my helm’s visor. “I have to debrief with Commander Cody.” The way my comms system distorted my voice seemed only to worsen the lingering hoarseness, and I tried to pretend I didn’t see the way Crosshair’s expression turned rabid. “I’ll find you after.” I added in something too close to a mutter before continuing after my old commander.

They didn’t follow me, nor did Boost or the others as I trailed aimlessly behind Wolffe into the bowels of the massive Destroyer, unsure what havoc might unfold the instant we were out of sight. Would Hunter be able to keep his brother in line if my old squad told them what happened? Would he even try? My thoughts were too jumbled to worry over it for long. There was just too much for any one thing to hold my attention for more than a heart-wrenching second, and I quickly gave up any effort to do anything more than keep my strides even.

“You going to be alright?” Wolffe asked, pausing several meters before that familiar door. I hadn't noticed him remove his bucket, but automatically slipped mine off in kind as he glanced pointedly toward Cody's office. I’d suspected he wouldn’t be joining me, that he needed to find General Plo for his own debrief, and it was almost a relief knowing he wouldn’t be with me for this. I didn’t want him to hear me try to recant that nightmare when he was still struggling with the aftermath, too.

“Yeah… I’ll be fine, Wolffe.” I offered, lips pulling into a small smile that neither of us believed. He almost turned away, but paused, brow just hinting at a frown as he looked at me. With a quiet sigh, he let his hand trail through my hair to rest gently against the back of my head before lightly touching his forehead to mine.

“Be safe, kid.” He said, and the vainly hidden note of defeat those short words left me floundering. Still my lips shifted around that too familiar reply, though it was barely more than a whisper.

“Still not a kid.” The short breath that escaped him shook just enough to nearly ruin me, gaze darting up to find his eyes ground shut.

“I know.” He murmured, voice rushed. His grip tightened for just a moment, expression pinching with something too near pain, and then it was gone, posture once more portraying every ounce the rigid commander he’d always been as he tread steadily down the hall. I couldn’t move for several seconds; couldn’t breathe beneath that flash of… what? That was more than just guilt… I wanted to chase after him; to throw something or scream, but found myself thinking back to the tense quiet that had fallen around us in the cockpit mere days prior… Whatever it was… the time for it had passed.

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subwaytostardew · 2 months

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youtube

▽ Subway to Stardew - Emmet 8-Heart Event ▽

This plays after getting at least 8 hearts with Emmet and entering the Railroad between 9AM - 4PM on a Thursday after viewing his 7 heart event.

You recieve this letter when you reach 8 hearts with Emmet!

Commentary and progress under the readmore.

▷ Station Steward Thylak

I DID NOT REALIZE THAT THIS EVENT WOULD BE THAT LONG... I could have sworn it was around 14 minutes max! I was worried that the battle stuff went by too quickly! It's almost 30 minutes long! And that's with me clicking away faster! Emmet really meant it when he said he wanted to spend all the livelong day together...

I thought it was going to be roughly 18 minutes. NOPE. WOOPS. This what happens when you write possibly too much.

We are bad at making short events. Vanilla events are around 1-3 minutes long. A day in Stardew lasts 14 minutes and 10 seconds. I would not recommend trying to play this mod spoiler free on multiplayer because time does not freeze and you will die if you don't skip the events. I wouldn't want to shorten the events either... Cutting down their infodumps would just be wrong.

We had a few requests to have a battle event which made me 😅 because I personally couldn't imagine that going well (truth over ideals...). This event was partially made to shut that idea down. The whole tunnel scene is mostly me trying to write an in-story reason as to why there won't be a battle with the farmer against Ingo... Emmet is competitive! This is not just limited to battles but extends to being your best friend! Behind the scenes... I'm just too tired to write out more battles. I actually really dislike single battle format. I'm not making an Ingo battle event. You already have three games to battle him in. I refuse to make more battle events for the time being.

I say that but there's another half-finished double battle event between submas that I switched tracks from to work on Emmet's 8 heart event... I'll finish that eventually.

Anyways... the creation process did not go by quickly at all either. I sure do have a lot to say on that matter. I do all my coding in google docs (terrible, I know) and so far we have had to make 3 seperate documents becuase things start to break at around 40 pages. The document before Emmet's 8 heart event made it to 64 pages before I abandoned it for a new document.

The longest document we have is around 80 pages along. Which usually contain the draft scripts of multiple events. code documents however take up a lot more since it's basically a giant wall of text. So when Emmet's 8 heart event started to slow down the current code document (the third iteration). We had to give the event its own space.

Emmet's 8 heart event ended up being 36 pages long alone! Also if you didn't know, Stardew's event format doesn't allow for line breaks so I have been staring at a 36 page wall of text for weeks. I plan to upload a video compiling all the different options later because I feel like all of the "good" options for battle... don't quite make sense in the context of the rest of the story. The farmer is supposed to not be good at battle and lose because they got overwhelmed with information. As the one writing out all the battle options though, I can't bring myself to act like I'm bad at battling. The winning options are extra silly just to justify a loss and because I couldn't bring myself to lie about Wild Charge not being a guaranteed OHKO on Archeops either. Especially since Emmet brings out damage calculations in a few of the options.

On that topic, all of the battle options play out accurately in a real double battle! I tested. Every. Single. Path. In Pokemon Showdown between the halves of Emmet's team.

I had nightmares of reliving this same battle over and over because that's all I did when I was awake. Make it stopppppp 😭

The lines about them practicing were references to me actually simulating everything in Showdown! Emmet's frustration is also based on how making this event took over my brain so now I struggle to comprehend how someone who doesn't know what to do in this battle would feel... Thank you Kade for helping me with that part ^^;;;

Your welcome =3

I actually enjoyed the Pokémon Showdown part - when it comes to Pokémon Battles, I have dabbled a little bit into the competitive side of things. Or at least the massive game of 4D Chess... trying to predict your opponent etc. Bait them into making a mistake, etc. There was a good time where we did nothing but Pokémon Battles for a night. And it was fun.

I am in no way good at competitive side of things - (I lose lot but that's okay.) especially in the double battle format. Single Battles I could do. (Though once again, I'm average at best) However I think the most memorable battle I ever had was back in Pokémon X and Y, where I managed to chip away and stall a Mega Aggron with a Umbreon.. And I think Umbreon was my last Pokémon but I kept using Moonlight to keep my health up. My kid self was super surprised and ecstatic that I beaten the odds... but whenever I do Pokémon Showdown I'm either testing battle stuff or making teams. I'm addicted to team compositions and doing a combination of different Pokémon even if it's not the competitive Meta....

I have the choices sorted into good/bad routes in my mind so in most of the routes, Emmet criticizes the player's decisions based on type advantage, STAB, and target. I was torn between the best and worst options for this recording but thanks to Kade's input, you get to see Durant ramming into Emmet instead of him getting mad at you for conducting Shadow Claw on Galvantula.

Battling Emmet as a first time trainer is not going to go well! Not only is he too competitive and he refuses to let you win (unlike Ingo), he pretty much sets you up for failiure. I'm sorry Emmet but Galvantula's stats are not intended for making her a physical attacker (emphasis on the Egg Move at what cost...).

Not to mention... Emmet is a Battle Facility Head. And you don't get to battle the Subway Bosses in the mainline games unless you have a somewhat decent team halfway through the game. Even still! They can both wipe the floor with you if you're not aware that they are using battle items...

Though I interpret Emmet not going easy on someone as him challenging them to push themselves and exceed expectations. Both Ingo and Emmet as characters encourage others in their own way, Ingo through words and Emmet I believe through his actions. Though he also can say some encouraging things.

Not the most encouraging if you compare their quotes pages... Customer service and communication isn't exactly his forte... But Emmet wants you to do your best and win against him! He likes seeing serious battlers like him! He just won't let you win unless if you push yourself to do your best. You'll have to. He doesn't really have the most beginner-friendly approach...

Considering you the Farmer, have no idea what a Pokémon even is. (You're practically learning everything from Ingo, Emmet, Elesa etc.) The fact you get challenged to a Battle because Emmet wants to share his interests with you - to have you better understand Pokémon.

He just struggles with the fact that, he is essentially challenging someone with no real battle experience and it's a Double Battle at that. Controlling two Pokémon at once?! Think about the effort it takes to command one Pokémon. We all seen the Anime and how trainers struggle to connect with their partners because they're new. They're just starting. They aren't going to be Battle Facility levels of skill.

Not to mention that Emmet is a little deprived in the valley and hasn't really battled any other new passengers in quite some time. At most, he battled Iris once when she came to visit, Ingo (who's Pokemon are optimized for countering/pissing him off), and himself (I had the mental image of him sitting in the field practicing for this event like an old man playing chess against himself in a park). He's a little too far gone to fully understand what a beginner would think in this situation other than mayyyybe it would take a moment to catch them up to speed. (I would know... I swear those option paths rewired my brain...)

After inputting all of their data into Showdown, I had actually forgotten that Galvantula and Durant are Emmet's Doubles Line team while Eelektross and Archeops are the Super Doubles Line team when deciding the matchups. (Been a while since they were in the Battle Subway huh...) Story-wise, I was thinking that Emmet should be with his ace and that he wouldn't really trust anyone else with Archeops since... he has higher support needs (depression bird 💔). Eelektross and Archeops are paired up because of Gastro Acid and Defeatist. I was thinking that Galvantula and Durant are a bit more beginner-friendly; they can take a loss a bit more easilly (a little less so in Galvantula's case... she's a hater). The farmer had already met Durant earlier in the 4-heart event so he'd volunteer to return the favor of fighting for you. Once you win his trust, he's more than happy to help. As for Galvantula... She's testing to see if she can trust her clingy child with you.

I'm excited to dive into the Pokémon NPC stories... Durant and Excadrill especially.

Durant was originally going to have Choice Scarf instead of Quick Claw to help narrow down the options. It was a pain reorganizing my notes and options all over again to lump not only move choices but turn order in mind. My notes were a mess.

Durant and Galvantula are a very luck-based combination so it was ultimately easier to write the different option paths with that in mind since Stardew's event format is verrrrrrrrrrrry linear. All of the options need to merge back into the same event (well... besides the option to refuse his friendship/battle which ends the event in the tunnel). Durant has lowered accuracy while Galvantula has higher critical hit ratios, I could write the battles based on their luck which is great because I wanted to force a loss.

I thought it would be a little too... reductive (it sure would reduce the amount of content >.>) and unrealistic for the player to impress Emmet with a victory on their first battle. Emmet sees this battle as a test on if you can follow his train of thought and be a good match for him because he's a little bit dependent on you for emotional regulation. He kind of expects you as his favorite passenger to have twin telepathy like Ingo since that's his standard operating procedure. You won't. Because you're not Ingo. You're just some weird farmer he got attached to. With the setup of a battle, I wanted this event to develop the farmer and Emmet's relationship to show that they aren't exactly perfect for each other (and Will say things that can be wrongly misinterpreted) but ultimately they will put in the effort to communicate and make things work. They won't have the best communication! But it's there.

While Ingo has a proper library confession, this event doubles as Emmet's "confession" of sorts. Emmet is already pretty openly affectionate by this point and I wanted to make it somewhat ambiguous as to whether or not his attachment to you is romantic or strictly platonic. To him, it doesn't really matter, but he does want you all to himself. He's not fond of sharing!

But... While Emmet's event may be more platonic in intent, you can still reject him. It's a lot harsher than Ingo's because refusing to even let him try to be a better friend for you is pretty harsh in itself. Ingo's is mostly the choice of whether or not you want to send him back to 6 hearts for more dialogue variety (it's really easy to miss dialogue when you try to max out their hearts as soon as possible! We're making lines for every day, season, and heart level.) Rejecting Emmet sends you back to 2 hearts and overrides his daily dialogue for the day with him asking if you're still friends, apologizing, and then getting too upset to say anything more.

Anyways!

From the start, I wanted Emmet to be like Nemona; awkward in their attachment, somewhat intimidating in their obsession/competitiveness, and thinks of the player as their savior from loneliness. He wants to be the best friend you have because you're the best friend he has. It's only fair. Best rival for life, favorite passenger, same thing.

The mountain pass events were actually made because Emmet's original schedule included him waiting around near the bushes there like Nemona stalking the player on their gym journey. NPCs actually can't path there so when he did, he was just deleted from the save!

I also stumbled across a bug back when I made the very first introduction event where a question loops unless if you pick a certain option. I kept that with Emmet forcing you to keep battling with him in mind as a slight reference to how Nemona doesn't let you say no to being her "best rival for life". This question also makes SMAPI hate you!

Gotta love Pokémon's false sense of 'Sure you have a choice. Your choice is always YES.'

There's probably a more fitting flower for Emmet outside of poppies. I just looked up every flower in Stardew (some of them aren't real...) and their meanings in flower language to come to the conclusion of poppies. The meanings in Emmet's event refer to the white poppy in particular. White. Rest. Oblivion. It fits. Good enough. It was a bit difficult to find more on the flower language of poppies in English (particularly the "Oblivion" part) so I resorted to Japanese sites for more information.

In English, the meaning of "Rest" seems to precede every other meaning. Poppies are used in death memorials. Emmet and the farmer did accidentally develop a shared theme of dying (overwork exhaustion, slimes, the mines, etc... Emmet can't get a break. I'm sorry.) but I wasn't sure if Kade was okay with the theme of death being emphasized. With that in mind, I was stunned when I that saw that her first battle map draft included a graveyard. The implication that Emmet picked flowers from a memorial site...

In my mind - the area is an old train stop in between the desert area and the forest/mountains that lead into Pelican Town. Also figured there would be an abandon farm - considering how Pelican Town is struggling it makes sense that potentially other places are not in best of shape either.

The graveyard is possibly dead relatives of whatever family or farmer made their life near the rails. Of course a lot of time has passed... So much so that nature has taken back what was theirs in the first place.

I always make up stories when having a location in mind and this area parallels with the tunnel Ingo takes you through to stargaze around 10 hearts. That area being an abandon coal mining operation.... Coal, Wood, etc. was used to powered steam trains so makes sense for there to be a source for it. I'm not the best when it comes to filling up Tiled Maps with decor - but I at least put down enough for Thylak to come in and make it more fitting for Stardew

The battlefield underwent quite a few revisions, one was having the battle area be more centered, and changing the old warehouse/worker area to be more like a train repair station with a water stop. I wanted it to feel like a place where Emmet goes to keep himself busy when he's told to take a break from working on the station.

Here's the final map! The battle area had to be shrunken down to fit in an event. More grass was added because I kept losing track of Joltik in the dirt. There's more flowers for Emmet to observe the quality of and pick tge best ones as gifts that he's too nervous to give the farmer until they wilt and dry. Poppies by the gravestones, of course!

I also did attempt to make a proper scrapbook sprite for when I eventually have Emmet give you his gift, but I never got around to implementing it properly since... I'm not familliar with adding custom items and its implementation changes in the 1.6 update.

Despite having access to the modding alpha, I've been procrastinating on migrating to 1.6 since HD Portraits isn't supported yet (I know... 1.6 releases in 3 weeks...).

WOO 1.6 WE ARE NO WHERE NEAR READY FOR ALL THE STUFF THAT POSSIBLY GOING TO BREAK. LOL.

Until next time! Thank you for reading!

#subway to stardew #submas #pokemon #stardew valley #sdv mods #Emmet #Kudari #subway to stardew terminal station #events

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callsignbaphomet · 4 days

Text

Okay, so I finished all three WIPs so I'll upload them one by one. I'm uploading them in "order" so it makes better sense. These don't have titles because like I've said before I am absolute trash at coming up with titles. As usual TWs are at the top and if I forget any I'm sorry, it's not my intention so kindly let me know if something needs to be tagged.

☆★☆★→Link to google Doc←☆★☆★

In case someone prefers to read it there than here.

Trigger warnings: firearms, weapons, death, drugs/chems, alcohol, sexual themes, sexual content, panic attack.

◃───────────▹◃───────────▹◃───────────▹

“Dagny, vent på meg.” Jelani called out to Dagny as the little night stalker sped up and climbed up on top of a ruined and blown up car and stared off into the distance, her ears were perked up, her body was stiff and her tail was still and alert.

“La oss gå, Dag.” Jelani said as he walked past the vehicle and continued to walk. He was in no mood for games, not when he was operating on less than two hours of sleep and heavily craving another shot of Calmex. The night before was bad, bad enough that he used up the last two Calmex he had left and he wouldn’t be able to get his hands on another batch for another five days. The nightmares were getting worse.

Dagny looked back at Jelani and let out a quiet bark to get his attention. As soon as he turned around to look at her Dagny kept her eyes fixated on him, her body was still and stiff though he noticed her left ear twitched and bent to the side. He sighed and looked to where she’d been staring and as soon as he did Dagny gave a subtle wiggle as if celebrating the fact that Jelani looked in the direction she wanted him to look. Jelani saw nothing, just tall dry grass as far as the eye could see and several miles away were some ruins and half destroyed buildings.

“A’ight.” Jelani walked over to the car and climbed it to see if he was able to see what had gotten such a strong hold of Dagny’s attention. As soon as he was on the roof he knelt beside her and looked in the same direction. “Hva er det, jente?”

With a better vantage point Jelani could see a little further away. About fifty feet away he could make out what looked like three people struggling or fighting, it was hard to tell from that distance. He retrieved a pair of binoculars from his backpack to get a better view of the situation. There were actually four men. Three of them, who appeared to be farmers, were fighting a fourth man. It was hard to tell what the fourth man was, he could’ve been a scavver, a random settler or anyone else really. Jelani looked up to see the position of the sun, it was still early and he was close to Jamaica Plain, a little detour wouldn’t hurt given how early he decided to take off.

“Kom igjen, Dag.”

Jelani and Dagny made their way to the quartet as fast as they could and once they were about twenty feet from the group both of them slowed down and hid amongst the tall grass. Now that he was closer Jelani could see each of their faces clearly, three of them he’d never seen before but the fourth one, the one the farmers were attacking, surprised him. It was that raider that saved Dagny from drowning when he’d been jumped by the Bunker Hill raiders. Jelani knelt as he grabbed his sniper rifle and once he positioned himself he pointed to Dagny with his left index finger and as soon as the little night stalker saw his hand he then brought up the same hand and pointed to one of the farmers, specifically the one holding a wooden bat, with his index and middle finger. Once he was sure Dagny understood her instructions he then held up his middle, index and thumb. While crouching Dagny took a few steps forward and patiently waited for Jelani.

“Get your bitch hands off me!” Angelus yelled as he struggled to break free but the farmer holding him pulled out a switchblade and pressed the tip to his neck.

“En.” Jelani whispered as he took aim. His crosshairs sitting right on the farmer’s left ear. Dagny slowly brought forth her right foot and set it down on the dry ground.

“From now on we ain’t waiting for no goddamn Minutemen. We’ll take care of you scumbags our own damn selves.” The man holding the bat said as he brought it up behind his shoulder and gripped it so hard his knuckles were turning white.

“To.” Jelani inhaled as he carefully wrapped his index finger around the trigger. He made enough contact with it to apply some pressure though not enough to pull it yet.

The other farmers yelled in agreement. Their frustrations were justified and their anger had made a lot of them bolder than even most of the Commonwealth raiders. Something happened in the last year that offset the balance within raider ranks. New groups and gangs were slowly filtering in little by little into the Commonwealth, these gangs were far more aggressive, destructive and far more dangerous than the raiders that had called Boston their home for years now. At first it was nothing the newly reformed Minutemen couldn’t handle, in fact, some of them seemed to enjoy the challenge, especially their new general. However, the Minutemen’s push back only managed to come off as a challenge to these new raiders and before long the Commonwealth was yet again thrust into war. Many people from both sides had been killed and the Minutemen’s numbers were suffering because of it. With the fight against the Brotherhood of Steel and the Railroad once again focusing on fighting the Institute, a new group that had swallowed the Triggermen and were making a play in the metro area of Boston meant the Minutemen were stretched thin and everyday citizens had had enough. Most were arming themselves and taking to killing anyone they suspected of being a raider. Some thought it was about time but others had grown accustomed to the new general’s proposition. She wanted to do things the way the old world did: leave the raiders, thieves, murderers and other less than pleasant people of the Commonwealth in the hands of a force that was dedicated to taking care of those problems and serving up their own brand of justice dependent on the severity of the crime.

“How ‘bout we kill this bitch and put his head on pike, boys? That way his buddies know not to fuck with us.”

“Tre.” Jelani exhaled slowly as the word left his mouth. Once he felt his lungs empty and right before he inhaled again he pulled the trigger. At the same time he pulled the trigger and the .50 bullet flew out of the silenced barrel of Gungnir Dagny took off with such speed and power her hind legs kicked up the dirt from beneath her paws. The bullet pierced the farmer’s head, the entry point being his left ear and before his body could hit the ground Dagny had pounced on the man holding the bat, the man Jelani had pointed to. She snapped her jaws around his throat. With the momentum she’d gathered as she ran she managed to bring him down to the ground where she proceeded to bite down as hard as she could and pulled so hard her claws dug into the man’s flesh. An almost gross orchestra of her vicious snarls and the man’s gurgled screaming filled the air.

The third man had turned to run but Angelus quickly moved to pick up the switchblade the other farmer had pressed against his neck and tossed it as hard as he could. The blade sunk into the back of his head, he was dead by the time he hit the ground. Angelus then turned around and saw a familiar face emerge from the tall grass, he was still tense from the ordeal but as soon as he recognized him the raider relaxed a bit.

Jelani reached into his coat and took out a silenced .22 pistol. He aimed it at the man Dagny was currently mauling and in a serious tone said, “Gi slipp.” As soon as he said it Dagny released the man and walked over to Jelani, she sat right by his feet while he took aim and shot the farmer in the head.

Once the last of the farmers was dealt with both Jelani and Angelus stood still and stared at each other in silence, it wasn’t awkward by any means, it was more like both of them were carefully analyzing the situation they found themselves in.

“Well, this is a surprise.” Angelus broke the silence once he gathered Jelani wasn’t a threat to him, he figured if he was there to kill him he would’ve been the first one he would’ve shot just to make sure he wouldn’t get away. “Didn’t think I’d see you again.”

“You okay?” Jelani asked as he put the .22 away.

“Yeah, yeah. Just…assholes caught me off guard, you know?” He waved off the mercenary’s concerns, mostly out of embarrassment that he’d been jumped by a pack of farmers. Pissed off farmers but farmers nonetheless.

“Where you headed?”

“I was uh…hmm…” Angelus was actually on his way back to Nuka World from Egret Tours, a settlement he’d befriended some time ago, but he wasn’t about to give that information out to just anyone. It was a tumultuous time to be a raider in Boston, even worse if you were a raider from outside of Boston. Angelus was in no hurry to get back to Nuka World so he smiled and said, “Wasn’t actually going anywhere in particular. What about you? You look like you’re getting ready to cause some serious damage.”

“Contract.”

“Not much of a talker are you?” Angelus chuckled as he relaxed a little more.

“Nope.” Jelani looked down at Dagny who happily looked back at him and snapped his fingers while saying, “Kom igjen.” Dagny stood back up and walked beside him as both headed south.

Angelus watched as both of them kept walking to wherever it was that they were heading and stood still. He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t wanna stay in the Commonwealth a little longer. Life in Nuka World was beginning to feel stressful with the gangs getting worked up over Colter ignoring everyone’s pleas to expand their territory into the other parks. Plenty of people guessed it was only a matter of time before war broke out between the gangs and while some welcomed it others like Angelus were worried. He had friends in other gangs that he’d rather not kill over some bullshit started by unrest because of Colter’s lazy ass. The less time he spent in Nuka World the lesser the chances of him being involved in an all out war. Now, he could go back to Egret, he was free to come and go as he pleased, but as he looked at the mercenary another idea crawled its way into his head.

“Hey!” Angelus called out and the mercenary and the little night stalker both turned around to look at him as he ran up to them. “Mind if I tag along?”

Jelani jerked his head back as he stared at the raider in confusion, “Why?”

“Well, I’m in no hurry to be anywhere specific and maybe I can help since you helped me with those guys.”

Jelani slightly tilted his head sideways and furrowed his brow as he looked at the raider. He then looked at Dagny who looked up at him and as if she was somehow trying to voice her opinion she let out a yap and wagged her tail while rhythmically stomping her front paws on the ground and panting excitedly. Jelani shrugged as he turned back to the raider and Dagny made her way to greet him.

“Angelus, right?”

“Yeah.” Angelus answered with a pleasantly surprised tone. He doesn’t remember ever introducing himself to him, not now and much less the first time they met. However, the girls that stitched up the mercenary’s injuries did call him by his name so he guessed he picked up on it and remembered. He was honestly impressed. But then again Angelus was really bad at remembering names so someone remembering his name after hearing it once a few weeks back made him smile.

“That’s Dagny.”

Angelus crouched down to pet the little night stalker who happily wagged her tail as Angelus scratched her behind her ears with one hand and rubbed her chest with the other while cooing at her.

“Pretty name for such a pretty girl. Yes, you are.” He gleefully squealed as he continued to pet her, he then looked up at the mercenary and while still petting Dagny said, “What kinda dog is she anyway?”

“Technically she’s not a dog, she’s a night stalker. Most people just refer to her as a dog anyway.”

“Makes sense, I mean she looks a little like a dog and acts like one too. Where’d you get her?”

“New Vegas.”

“Goddamn, you’re a long way from New Vegas. The hell brought you to this dump anyway?” Angelus looked up and saw Jelani’s expression shift ever so slightly. He was still serious but there was something else behind his expression, mostly in his eyes, that Angelus couldn’t quite put his finger on and soon realized he may have asked the wrong question. He quickly stood up and in an attempt to move the conversation to another direction, and still get a little bit of information out of the mercenary, he quickly said, “Okay, so this is Dagny. What about you?”

“Jelani.” He whispered as he lowered his gaze and turned around to continue walking south. Angelus thought it best to stop asking questions for now even though he was tempted to but he knew better.

The three of them made their way south and after almost forty minutes they were nearing a large settlement called Jamaica Plain which peaked Angelus’s curiosity. With how well armed Jelani was he was sure the contract he was fulfilling was a hit so he prepared himself for a fight. However, instead of walking directly into Jamaica Plain Jelani veered off to the west several yards from the settlement and kept walking. Angelus curiously followed behind him. He was about to ask why he was heading in that direction but his question was answered when Jelani began to climb up part of the broken down highway. It was a bit of a steep climb but both of them made it to the highest point of the highway that comfortably overlooked the large settlement. Once in place Jelani put his backpack and sniper rifle down beside him and sat down as he looked over the settlement. He seemed at ease so Angelus figured he’d sit down too. He walked over to Jelani and Dagny and sat close to Jelani and silently looked over the settlement though his eyes would occasionally dart over to the mercenary. He was as easy on the eyes as he remembered him. At one point Angelus looked him up and down and felt the corners of his mouth hike up to form a smile. It wasn’t so much that he was easy on the eyes, he found him exceptionally pretty. From the very moment he first laid eyes on him he couldn’t help but be taken aback, the only reason Angelus helped him was because he was almost instantly smitten or at least that’s what he tells himself just to convince himself he’s at the very least somewhat decent. Had Jelani stayed in Egret that night Angelus had planned to make a move on the mercenary if his head injury permitted. Even now he wanted to make a move but he was sure he’d be turned down while he was yet to finish the contract so Angelus was left with fantasizing and imagining what was hiding under that coat.

“So…” Angelus began as he averted his eyes, “What uh…what are we doing here?”

“Waiting.” Jelani answered as he looked back at Angelus who gave him a look as if waiting for him to elaborate on why they were sitting on a broken highway. He sighed as he came to terms with the fact that his current companion was a lot more talkative than Jelani was comfortable with. He wasn’t angry about that, in fact, he saw it as an opportunity to relearn social skills he’d lost in the few months he’d been in Boston. Since he got there he hardly spoke or socialized with anyone. He had so many fears and so much anxiety and paranoia that it made it hard to even talk to people, even now he was fighting back against the intrusive thoughts he’d been haunted by since the day after his father found him in that basement. He looked down to see Dagny curled up and asleep next to him, he took the little night stalker’s relaxation as a sign that the raider next to him was safe for now so he gathered up his courage, inhaled and indulged the raider’s curiosity. “Ex-Gunner turned Minuteman. Was contacted through a friend who introduced us. Guy abandoned his post and joined the Minutemen so now this Gunner’s looking for some payback.”

“And why are we waiting? Why not just go down there, lure him out and kill ‘im or are we waiting for nighttime to sneak in there and kill ‘im in his sleep?”

“Nah, too much trouble. His shift usually starts at 1400, he patrols the north road where the diner is. That entire road is his until his shift ends at 1900. Take him out once he’s out there.”

“1400? What’s that?”

“Another way of saying 2:00 pm. Twenty-four hour format or as some people say military time. There’s NCR and Enclave with a little bit of Brotherhood of Steel in my family history.” Jelani was hesitant sharing that information and he immediately regretted it though there was nothing he could do about that now. He made a mental note to be more careful going further.

“Wait,” Angelus began to chuckle, “You’re an army brat? Oh, my god, that is hilarious and makes so much sense.”

“How so?”

“The way you took out those two farmers! I never even heard you approach us and that was a clean shot. I’ve never seen shit like that before. Not to mention how well trained your dog is. Also you’re, like, serious all the time.”

“Um, I guess.”

Jelani lowered his gaze and turned to look at the settlement below. He was starting to feel uncomfortable with the way Angelus was staring and smiling, he was well aware that he wasn’t going to hurt him but his mind was wandering to a place he didn’t want to go to, not now that he was feeling relaxed and surprised that he was actually interacting with another person. He focused on a brahmin and watched its movements carefully as he took deep breaths and exhaled as a way to calm himself in order to avoid another panic attack. With every breath he could feel his heart rate slowing down. Surprisingly the preparation he did whenever he was getting ready to make a long range shot on his sniper was exactly what helped him to calm down. Despite the rumors snipers don’t have the ability to stop their heartbeats, however, they can do specific breathing exercises to relax their bodies, slow down their breathing and maintain a type of control over their heartbeats that allows them to pull the trigger at the exact right moment to avoid movement even microscopic ones.

“So where you from?” Angelus asked almost absentmindedly and as soon as he realized what he asked and remembering Jelani’s earlier reaction he sort of flinched.

“Capital Wasteland. Was there till I was around eleven or twelve.”

“Really? Wow, I heard that place was messed the fuck up.” Angelus was surprised his question hadn’t caused any discomfort and was relieved to see Jelani was starting to relax around him.

“It is but then again what place isn’t nowadays. What about you? From your accent I figured maybe from somewhere in the south.”

“Yeah,” Angelus’s face brightened as a huge smile formed on his face. Not many people could make that connection, “from some bum fuck middle of nowhere town in Mississippi. Not a very nice place, full of just mean people, mean critters and a big ass radioactive stinky river full of some foul ass shit that will kill you if you get too close to it. Kind of miss it.”

“Sounds charming.” Jelani chuckled and smiled.

Angelus couldn’t help but stare at him, he was gorgeous and his pale blue eyes seemed to light up when he smiled. Angelus caught himself staring and as he felt his cheeks flare up he looked away and said, “Noticed you have one too, an accent I mean, it sounds weird. Not a bad weird, I mean just weird weird. That wasn’t English that you spoke to your dog earlier was it?”

“No, it wasn’t. Turns out that before the war some family came here and were trapped once the war started. Two hundred years later and I’m the last in that line.”

“Do you know where they were from?”

“Norway.”

“So is that language from where your family’s from?”

“Yeah, they kept passing it down and my dad taught me how to speak, write and read it, Norwegian by the way, before he taught me English so I learned English the same way he was taught.”

“We might have something sort of in common. According to my mom my dad was some caravan trader whose family was actually from Russia, they’d actually made it here some thirty something years before my dad was born. I don’t know what Russians spoke though. Only Russian word I know is my last name: Malakhov. So is it just you and your dad and your dog?”

“It’s just me and Dagny…my dad’s dead.” What Jelani really wanted to say was that his dad was dead because of him but given that he wasn’t ready to come to terms with that he simply left it at that and lowered his gaze as his smile faded and his expression turned somber.

Angelus picked up on the sudden change and he moved closer to Jelani till both of their shoulders were touching. Jelani jumped at the feeling of coming into contact with someone else. His immediate instinct was to pull away but he didn’t, he turned to look at Angelus who had a sympathetic look on his face and in a soft tone said, “My mom’s dead too. She got really sick and just kept getting worse and worse until she died. I later went to live with an old raider turned merc until one day he just didn’t come back home, figured he died out there somewhere. It’s just been me ever since. Hell, I don’t even have a dog.” He pointed at Dagny and then looked back at Jelani.

“Technically…” Jelani started, he waved off the need to safeguard himself by not revealing anything about himself to anyone, “my dad was actually my brother.”

Angelus coughed as he tried his hardest not to laugh so he bit his lips and said in a strained voice, “Oh, sweet pea, you sure you ain’t from the south?”

It took him a few seconds but Jelani started to laugh once he realized that the sentence had come off as a little strange and he needed to elaborate otherwise it would look like his family tree was going in circles. “Ja, pretty sure. What I mean is that my parents died when I was almost two-years-old and my brother who was seventeen at the time took care of me. I honestly don’t remember my parents, sometimes I can sort of remember little details but not enough to form an actual memory of either of them. I think it’s better that way, how are you gonna grieve someone you had no attachment to? So my brother raised me, he’s been the only parent I’ve actually known so I started calling him dad and it just stuck. I used to forget he was my brother and not my actual dad but neither of us cared. Now he’s gone. Irony of it all is we both lost our parents at the same age.”

Jelani was surprised at himself, he revealed a lot more than he had anticipated and it was the first time he thought about Loke without breaking down into hysterics and the first time he spoke about him since he died. He couldn’t explain it but talking to Angelus about it felt like a weight had been lifted off him, ever since Loke died he felt like he was pinned to the ground by a massive boulder that got heavier and heavier as the days passed but talking to him about it alleviated it, or at least some of it. He took a deep breath and let out a nervous sigh, or maybe it was a sigh of relief, he wasn’t sure. Perhaps that sensation was what Loke and the caravan doctor had talked about when they told him he needed to talk to someone about what had happened that night but he hadn’t been ready, he still wasn’t sure if he’d ever be ready to relive that horrible experience that ripped away something from deep inside him.

Angelus stayed quiet for a few minutes and just watched Jelani. He couldn’t put his finger on it but he thought there was something else that he wasn’t telling him. His tone and words felt genuine yet he could tell there was something he was holding back but he didn’t dare to push the subject matter, not now that he was getting him to open up to him. He went from one word answers to full blown sentences and didn’t wanna scare him into shutting down again so he did what he knew best and decided to distract him.

“So, Jay, have you heard about the Jamaica Plain treasure controversy yet?”

“I’m sorry, the what?” Jelani turned and gave Angelus the most confused expression he could muster. That sentence was one of the most ridiculous ones he’d heard since he reached Boston.

“Oh, sugar, you’re gonna love this. For a very long time there was a rumor that there were riches hidden in Jamaica Plain. What was it? No one knew, some people said it was a building full of caps, some people said there was a secret hidden vault around the place. Other people said that before the war people hid powerful weapons somewhere down there and some said that there was gold. I don’t know what the blue hell gold is but it got some people’s underwear in a tussle.”

“Wait, who started that rumor?”

“Hush your pretty lips. Now, there were some people that thought it was all bullshit and said it was probably a trap to lure morons to their deaths. About three years ago when the Minutemen picked back up there was a group of settlers who came to JP and well, settled! That got everyone up in arms, you had raiders trying to find the treasure, had Gunners, Triggermen, farmers, mercs, ghouls, humans, Diamond City folks left their little safety nest for goodness’s sake! And those bitches are too scared to go anywhere! Everyone came down here to fight the settlers and claim the treasure. Sure as the sun sets there was a mini type of war with hundreds of people searching every fuckin’ building for the treasure or at the very least clues. Now, you see that building down there? The one with the blown up statue in front of it?”

“Yeah. What about it?”

“Okay, so everyone was looking everywhere except for that one. This farmer goes in and looks all over the place, another one sneaks in and people start to notice and soon everyone is running for that building and they’re trashing the place looking for the treasure. Someone finds a door to a basement and they manage to break it down and now you got hundreds of people trying to make their way in. Supposedly there were hundreds of traps everywhere and people start dyin’ or getting injured but they push on anyway ‘cause they figured that the traps mean they’re getting close. So after fighting through traps, hacking security systems, fighting off crazed robots and each other they finally make it the treasure.”

“It was real?” Jelani asked with a dubious tone and expression.

“I shit you not the treasure was a room full of some old world junk put up on display as if it was the greatest fuckin’ thing since unguarded caps. There were hair brushes, some clothing items, junk, a pretty much useless terminal and the most “useful” item there was a wooden bat. Someone even left a holotape that had an inventory of all the “treasure” and someone actually wrote a goddamn speech talkin’ ‘bout how these were special items that people back then used and shit. Well, shitfire, we still use them! Sort of!”

“I legitimately hate it here…” Jelani replied with a monotone voice and an incredulous look on his face as he blinked at Angelus as if somehow trying to make sense of the entire thing. “I’m almost afraid to ask what the fuck happened after they found that shit.”

“Nothing. Nothing happened. Everyone just quietly left the building and went wherever the fuck they came from. The wounded were tended to in the settlement and the dead were buried and everyone went home. Soon as word got out about what happened everyone denied being there, hundreds of jackasses and all of ‘em deny ever being anywhere near Jamaica Plain. Everyone that participated outright denies they were ever even here looking for that shit. Honestly? I think it’s pretty fuckin’ funny. Motherfuckers back then had a nasty sense of humor for sure.”

“What the hell is wrong with everyone here?”

“Oh!” Angelus excitedly said as he playfully hit Jelani’s arm as he remembered yet another story he picked up while in Egret. “Have you heard of the haunted quarry yet?”

“That’s it, I’m getting the fuck out of this fucking place.”

“It’s true! Or…at least they say it’s true. Pack of Minutemen had gone in to clear out the raiders that were in that quarry but supposedly the raider leading that group lost her mind and killed all the other raiders. The terminals were full of really weird entries about voices, visions, quakes and something about the light. Only one of those Minutemen came back and he ain’t been right since. He’s up in Sanctuary ‘cause he didn’t wanna live anywhere near that quarry. To this day he says there’s something ancient and super evil living down there. I forgot the name of the quarry…something sun or maybe dumb itch?”

Jelani’s eyes widened in horror as the two words sounded eerily similar to the name of a building with a less than spectacular reputation back in the Capital. He’d only heard stories and every time he asked Loke about it Loke would quickly change the subject. For a few seconds he couldn’t remember the name but repeating the two words Angelus said in his head instantly made him remember so he turned to Angelus and in an almost deadpan tone said, “You mean Dunwich?”

“That’s the fucker’s name!” Angelus said in an excited tone but then quickly turned serious. “How did you know?”

“Uh…back in the Capital there was this old building people talked about with that exact name. It was weird, every time us kids would bring it up all the grown ups would just change the subject and if we kept pushing they’d just tell us to drop it. There was this old man that lived in the area and he used to talk about it if we brought him beer. According to him, that building was sitting on some gateway or something. Apparently a lot of people that went in either died or came back wrong and there was something about some vault dweller and a book.”

“Ew, that’s…a pretty creepy coincidence.”

“I kinda wanna see this quarry.”

“Well, you’re shit out of luck, sugar. Minutemen have that thing locked down.”

“Hva i helvete? Why?”

“That was kind of a recent development and it’s up for debate as to whether it was to keep the curious out to avoid people getting hurt or lost in the quarry but a lot of us think it has something to do with the Children of Atom. Something kind of weird is happening within their ranks. A lot of ‘em have been turning up dead by their own members. A lot of them are relocating to the Glowing Sea and the few that are left have stopped being really hostile and have turned reclusive. I think they’re up to something.”

“Those quacks are always up to something. There was a lady in Bunker Hill that was keeping track of ‘em and said they’re all avoiding the coastline. Apparently there’s something in the water that they don’t like.”

“Don’t blame ‘em. Probably Ol’ Peg.”

“Oh, that is not real.”

“Lemme know when you have some free time and I’ll take you to Salem. Something…interesting…happened there four years ago.”

“A’ight, but it better be as interesting as you’re making it out to be.” Jelani teased playfully as he pointed at Angelus and smiled. He then reached over to his backpack and retrieved some binoculars as it was close to his target’s shift and he wanted to be ready.

“Promise. And if it turns out to be a dud I have a pretty good idea of how we could salvage the day.”

Confused and a little weirded out by the way he said it Jelani turned to look at Angelus who had a particularly mischievous smile on his face. It didn’t feel malicious but the implication, which Jelani picked up on, sent a cold shiver up and down his spine. He honestly didn’t know what to say so he gave him a forced smile that quickly left his lips and turned to focus on the job at hand.

On the other hand Angelus didn’t pick up on Jelani’s uneasiness and chucked his lack of a response to getting ready for the target. He moved closer to Jelani and watched him eagerly as Jelani scoped the area below them for the target. He wanted to say something but he didn’t want to distract him and cost him whatever caps were promised for the ex-Gunner. His eyes slowly darted from his face, down to his shoulders, his back, hips and down his legs.

“What?”

“Nothing!” Startled by Jelani’s question he looked up to see Jelani looking at him and somewhat frowning at him as if he’d caught him red handed in what he was doing. He thanked whatever was out there that he couldn’t hear all the shit he was thinking as he traced his body with his eyes. “See him yet?” Angelus misdirected the conversation to avoid the awkwardness from building further.

“Not yet.”

“And how do you know what he looks like? I mean, I never really thought about how mercs know what their targets look like.”

“Descriptions for the most part. Very few people have access to working cameras and they give the target’s picture if they’re able to get a shot of them. Even dealt with one very pissed off caravan guard who had a recorder and showed me video of the target. Some old world stuff still works if you manage to fix it. Sure, the quality isn’t what it used to be but it gets the job done.”

“Yeah, old merc I used to live with had a wrist watch that, according to him, his great grandfather found after he traveled east. Managed to fix it and passed it down. Of course, knowing him he stole it and fabricated the story to go along with the watch. Guy was a bit of a compulsive liar, it was hard to get the truth out of him if you didn’t know him. I still have the darn thing but it doesn’t work anymore, somebody told me the gears got stuck or something like that.”

“I actually know of someone that can help with that. Some old caravan merchant I worked for for a few weeks has a contact that can fix literally anything. Pretty sure he can tackle a simple watch.” Jelani said as he lowered the binoculars and looked at Angelus who was smiling at him.

“Really? That’d be great! Can’t tell time for shit but it’d be nice to have the thing working again.”

“It ain’t hard, I can show you.” Jelani stopped mid sentence as he slightly jerked his head back. He seemed pretty upfront about making plans with this raider he barely knew, he couldn’t take back what was already said so he decided to reel it back a bit. “If you want.”

“Sure.” Angelus replied as his eyes softened as he looked back at him.

Both of them stared at each other for a few seconds. Angelus was slowly inching closer and closer and as soon as Jelani noticed he loudly cleared his throat and said, “Guy should be out on patrol soon.” He looked into the binoculars once more and began to search the area for his target.

Angelus kept staring at him and smiling as he said, “Is it 2:00 already?”

“Yeap,” While still looking through the binoculars Jelani pointed forward as the target left one of the buildings close to the old church, “and there he is.”

Jelani handed the binoculars to Angelus and directed him to where the target was. As Angelus watched him make his way to his designated area Jelani looked at Angelus. At first he was listening to what he was saying but the more he looked at him the more his voice faded away as he looked at him. His eyes traced over his sharp jawline, then his neck and throat, his arms, his chest and stomach until his eyes settled on his thighs. A thought crossed his mind, one he didn’t think he would have ever again but as his eyes trailed up his thighs towards his crotch Jelani shook his head and turned to look at the target. Panic was starting to rise within him so he focused on the task at hand as to avoid yet another panic attack.

“You okay?” Angelus asked as soon as he looked at Jelani.

“Ja, I’m fine.”

“So what now?”

Jelani didn’t answer. He grabbed his sniper rifle and while still keeping an eye on the target he laid down on his stomach while aiming the silenced rifle towards the target. Once he was comfortable he inhaled, held the air in his lungs for a few seconds and then exhaled. This was something he always did right before taking a shot but now he was doing it to calm himself as well. There were a lot of caps riding on this job and he didn’t want to screw it up over a panic attack from staring at the man sitting next to him. He continued to breathe in the same manner as he looked through the scope, one of his fingers was carefully coiled around the trigger while he adjusted the scope with his other hand.

Angelus watched in awe at the intricate and almost ritualistic manner in which Jelani prepared himself. He wasn’t exactly good with guns, all he knew was to aim and pull the trigger in the hopes that the bullet would hit whatever he wanted dead or injured. For most of his life he was the type to rush down his victims and beat them to death with a crowbar, any blunt object he could get his hands on or a gun that was out of ammo. His strengths mostly lied in hand to hand combat which he was pretty good at. He knew his strengths and weaknesses and used that knowledge to his advantage. However, he had a huge admiration for people who could handle rifles and bigger weapons especially sniper rifles. He watched carefully as Jelani made very subtle adjustments in his position as the target moved. He kept looking at him and couldn’t help but smile as he looked at Jelani lying on the ground flat on his stomach with his legs spread open. The temptation to reach out was getting to him so he turned to look at the target through the binoculars Jelani had handed him while occasionally looking at Jelani with the corner of his eye.

Jelani had managed to calm himself down and was tracing the target’s movement. He lazily walked from what he assumed was his home towards the diner from the backroad of the huge settlement. Once Jelani adjusted to his speed he managed to keep his crosshairs on the target’s temple. The backroad was empty now that the guard patrolling the area had turned to patrol the adjacent road. Now was the right time to take his shot as it would take a few minutes for people to notice the body giving him and Angelus plenty of time to get a head start to leave the area. The target was now about thirty feet from reaching the diner road where plenty of people were. He’d been able to keep up with the target’s speed and height, as he did he calculated the speed of the wind and the humidity in the air to come up with the best time and angle to fire so the bullet could hit the target.

Jelani inhaled as he moved the crosshairs a few inches in front of his target’s head, at the same time he tightened his grip on the trigger. He exhaled as he blinked once and as soon as the last bit of oxygen left his lungs he pulled the trigger, the recoil from the anti-material sniper rifle made his entire body shake. But as soon as Jelani regained control he looked through the scope to confirm the kill. The ex-Gunner’s lifeless body hit the ground as half of his face was gone and turned to a bloody sludge on the asphalt.

“Goddamn, Haakonson!” Angelus cried out in awe as he kept staring at the body and the blown out head on the ex-Gunner.

“Keep quiet and move!” Jelani said as he folded the bipod on the rifle and flung the carry sling over himself so that the sniper could be carried easily and his hands were free. He grabbed his backpack and took out the silenced .22 and as soon as he had it he put the backpack on his back and nodded to Dagny who quickly got on her feet and stuck close to him.

Angelus quickly put the binoculars in Jelani’s backpack and ran next to him. He wasn’t sure why they had to run but he obeyed. Both of them made their way down the broken highway and as soon as they reached the ground they ran as fast as they could.

The day before Jelani had scouted the area for the best exit route. He’d come up with three different escape routes that depended on different outcomes. He didn't have time to think of the others, since they hadn't been caught and it seemed like the body hadn't been found yet he focused on the one route he had for his current situation. Jamaica Plain was a massive settlement and escaping the reach of the settlers would prove a challenge if anything went wrong. Worst part was that University Point was a few yards away, it was a sort of sister settlement founded after Jamaica Plain faced an overpopulation problem before it expanded.

Jelani ran north, as he had planned, making sure to steer clear of University Point and sticking to staying under the highway that was between both settlements. The three of them ran as fast and as quietly as possible but as they neared University Point they were startled when the unmistakable sound of an alarm siren went off. Jelani stopped in the middle of some shrubs and got low to the ground. Out of instinct he grabbed Angelus' hand and pulled him down as he watched the guards at University Point scramble to look in the direction of Jamaica Plain. They still hadn't been spotted but Jelani was watchful in case the guards noticed them.

“They found a body with his head blown off in Jamaica!” One of the guards yelled at another guard.

From the front gate of University Point a group of armed and armored guards ran as fast as they could towards the settlement. The boys saw they were running in their direction and out of panic Angelus motioned to move but Jelani squeezed his hand. Angelus looked at him with panic in his eyes but the young mercenary quietly shook his head. Angelus looked up and saw the guards running past them, they never even noticed them hiding in the shrubs. When he could no longer hear the guards' footsteps Jelani stood back up, still holding Angelus’ hand, and ran west occasionally looking back in case they were spotted but they managed to make a clean getaway.

They stuck to the south of the nearby Boston Military Checkpoint and avoided Big John’s Salvage as it had been overrun by raiders after the pack of Super Mutants that had taken it over were killed off. Jelani wanted to move as fast as he could, the checkpoint was usually full of Minutemen and while they were constantly at war with the Minutemen he wanted to avoid getting caught in the crossfire. The area south of Boston was always dangerous but it was even more dangerous now than it was four years ago thanks to raiders and Gunners expanding their reach. Jelani, Angelus and Dagny carefully made their way towards Shaw High School though Angelus was nervous. Everyone knew the Gunners had expanded their territory beyond the Gunner Plaza. It took them well over half a year but the Gunners took over Fallon’s Department Store, West Roxbury Station, and the Milton General Hospital for themselves as their numbers increased over the last two years with raiders and ex-Brotherhood of Steel soldiers joining their ranks once the Brotherhood was defeated. The old high school had been turned into a warehouse of sorts after it was taken back from the Super Mutants who’d set up a trap to lure in unsuspecting victims with a recorded message. Angelus was nervous about the direction they were headed to but he didn’t question it, he just followed Jelani and Dagny.

Once the high school was in sight Jelani deviated to the broken down building across from the school. It barely had any real cover and felt exposed but Jelani walked to the back of the building and sat down on a chair looking across the way towards the entrance to the high school and lit a cigarette.

“C’mon. We might be here for a while.” Jelani said as he nodded to the chair next to him.

Angelus walked over to the chair next to him and sat down. Jelani offered a cigarette which Angelus was more than happy to take and stared at the scenery before them. He was still nervous about the area they were in but seeing Jelani so relaxed and calm was indication enough that nothing would happen. Even if something did happen he just witnessed him make one of the cleanest kills and smoothest escapes he had ever seen in his life. He was already impressed with him but the way he calmly handled the situation made a huge impression on Angelus and given the life he’s lived so far he’s not that easy to impress.

“What are we waiting for this time?” Angelus asked.

“Gunner that hired me said that as soon as the job was done to wait for him here. Said I didn’t need to bring back evidence; he’d know when the target would be taken care of. Not really sure how but hey, easier for me. Guy’s supposed to be in the school today and as soon as he finds out he’ll come over with the caps.”

“Thought Gunners didn’t hire outsiders to handle their own shit.”

“Well, usually they don’t from what I’ve seen. Guy wasted no time in threatening me if I said anything. He didn’t want his superiors to catch wind of a recruit he recommended turning into a Minuteman so he got in contact with a contact of mine.”

“I gotta admit, that shit was impressive. I mean, the way you handled yourself? I woulda been shot dead had you not squeezed my hand. The way you handle your sniper is crazy. I can barely hold a gun right and you’re out here blowing skulls in half. How long have you been at that?”

“Oh…like…eleven years now. My dad let me handle the damn thing since I was seven-years-old. I used to joke that I wasn’t raised, I was trained.”

“Hey, better than most of us. Your dad tried to prepare you for everything out here. You’re out here earning caps on your own, killing people from a mile away and making some of the smoothest and cleanest escapes I’ve ever seen. You know what my dumb ass was doing at eighteen? I was in the back of bars blowing guys’ backs out and getting drunk as shit and probably high as shit too.”

“I guess.” Jelani chuckled, however his smile faded as soon as he saw the front door to the school open and from the building emerged a rather rogued and miserable looking man dressed in Gunner attire. He looked around before making his way to the broken down building where Jelani and Angelus were waiting.

As soon as the man approached them his expression turned even more sour than it already was as he stared at Angelus and then at Jelani. Dagny quickly stood up, she quickly made her way towards Jelani and stood in front of him and as soon as the man saw her he took a step back though his expression remained the same.

“I thought you worked alone, Haakonson.”

“I do. He’s one of my contacts; told him to meet me here.”

“Fine. Here’s the caps.” The man reached into his jacket and pulled out a cigarette cartoon, the unmistakable sound of caps crashing together jingled within it. “There’s a little gratitude bump in there too for being discreet about it.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, and an acquaintance of mine might reach out to your contact in two to three weeks depending on some circumstances. We’ve kind of got some Minutemen problems at the moment, I suggest you steer clear of the area around Corvega. Might get a little intense.”

“Will do.” Jelani replied and made a mental note of the information to pass along to Varg as soon as he was able to contact him.

The Gunner turned around and walked back to the high school where he was stationed for the day and as soon as the doors closed behind him Jelani turned to Angelus and the three of them carefully made their way out of the area.

As they walked on Jelani noticed it was getting late and Angelus was still with him. Normally he wouldn’t care what time it was, he never brought anyone back home with him, the only person to know where he was currently living was Varg because the bunker was originally found by him and since he had no need of it he handed the keys to Jelani. However, Jelani admitted he had a pleasant time with the raider and part of him felt bad about leaving him out to dry at sun down. If the wasteland was dangerous during the day, it was worse at night and he didn’t want Angelus to find himself in the middle of a dangerous situation by himself. As nervous as it made him, Jelani offered for Angelus to stay the night as he wasn’t sure how far off he was from the area they were in. He could’ve offered to go with him but he learned years ago that traveling lonely roads at night by yourself was a bad idea and more often than not a fatal one.

As they approached the bunker, which was at the base of a relay tower Dagny barked excitedly and ran ahead of them. Angelus watched as the little night stalker sniffed around the area and after circling the outside and the main door she sat down by the door and looked in their direction as she wagged her tail.

“Checking for intruders.”

“What?” Angelus replied in a confused tone as he then looked at Jelani who was smiling at him. He’d noticed he was staring at Dagny as she checked the perimeter and answered his question before he asked it.

“She’s checking the area in case there’s any intruders around.” Jelani realized how it made him sound paranoid so he turned to look ahead of him. Before there was a chance for Angelus to ask a follow up question he shrugged and said, “Eh, just in case.”

Angelus didn’t think anything of it, in fact, he thought it was down right brilliant. Big John’s Salvage was teeming with rowdy raiders from the southern parts outside of Boston, to the south were the Gunners that had expanded their territories, Fairline Hill Estates was taken over by some rather disturbed Children of Atom, Jelani was surrounded by all sorts of nasty groups and the least he could do to keep himself safe was use his dog to scope the area and not get a surprise ambush. However, the truth was a little less ideal. Ever since the assault Jelani was paranoid that any of his attackers would’ve found him and snuck into the bunker or someone else with the same type of intention was waiting around the corner to jump him so to keep him from becoming too paranoid he taught Dagny to check the bunker for unfamiliar scents that lingered. So far, the bunker has never been broken into. Angelus was gonna ask a question but when he turned to look at Jelani he saw he had a bit of a solemn look on his face so he dropped it, he was still curious but he figured he could ask it later when Jelani seemed a little more at ease.

They made it to the bunker and once inside Angelus looked around to see a security gate with a heavy security door in the corner of the ten by fifteen bunker. Inside the security gate was a lone console. On the other corner was an elevator though he noticed the panel was ripped out and he wondered how it was supposed to work without it. His question was answered when Jelani reached into his jacket and took out an old rusty key and opened the door. He quickly got on the console and after a few seconds Angelus was startled by the sound of the elevator door creaking open.

“Go on, I’ll be there in a second. Just gotta lock up.” Jelani said as he fiddled with the console.

Angelus walked over to the elevator and waited inside, behind him was Dagny who sat at his feet and looked up at him as her tail wagged. Angelus smiled wide as the strange little dog looked at him. He always loved dogs and to see one, or one that looked like one, acting so friendly towards was pleasant. When he heard Jelani locking up the gate he looked up and saw a large panel on the inside wall of the elevator, there were over a dozen buttons and he wondered how many floors the bunker had beneath it. After Jelani locked up the security gate and the main door he made his way into the elevator where Angelus watched him press four different buttons, the last one he pressed twice in quick succession. After that the elevator began to descend.

After a few minutes the doors opened to reveal a short stretch of concrete and pipes lit up by red light bulbs along the roof of the hallway. At the end was a heavy metallic door. Jelani and Dagny left the elevator and walked down the intimidating looking hallway and Angelus followed close by. Less than a minute later they got to the door and next to it was a keycard reader which Jelani used to slide a keycard he had in his jacket and as soon as a small light lit up in a brilliant green color the heavy metallic door opened.

Angelus watched Jelani turn right as soon as he walked past the door. He set his backpack down in front of a shelf that was full to capacity in old but readable books, the top of the shelf had five small pots with plants growing out of them. Once he set down his backpack Jelani kept walking towards a door past the shelf, it was small enough for Angelus to assume it was some sort of closet or storage area and seeing as how he walked in there with his sniper rifle and handgun but came back out without them he figured he was right. In front of the shelf was a black sofa, on the floor in front of it was a square black rug and pushed up against the wall next to the sofa was a small black couch. Next to the shelf was a small mattress, it was small enough to have once belonged to a baby or a toddler. On the mattress was a familiar toy, it was the blue teddy bear that one of his friends had given Dagny the day Angelus ran into Jelani for the first time. He couldn’t help but smile as he remembered that day. The way Jelani hugged Dagny when Angelus gave her back to him safe and sound was the most endearing thing he’d ever seen. Jelani was bleeding from the back of his head and all he did was worry about his dog who was soaking wet but otherwise unscathed. Angelus continued to look around. Next to the small couch was a door and further down was a very short hall and at the end of it was a drawer. He then turned to his left and saw a small but fully furnished and functioning kitchen. On one wall were several cabinets and at the base of those cabinets were two very clean bowls, one full of water and the other was currently empty. Dagny was currently drinking some water out of her bowl. In front of the bowls was a small table with two chairs facing each other and next to the table was a wall with a door. Given its position he guessed it could’ve been a pantry.

He then looked forward and saw a longer hallway, though not as long as the one they crossed to get to the actual bunker itself, on the walls in front of each other were two doors and at the end of the hall was a shelf full of trinkets and items. curiosity to get a closer look at the items was overwhelming but he’d do so later. Overall the bunker was small but cozy. The thing that stuck out to him the most was how clean and sterile everything looked. The kitchen was spotless and nothing was out of place, the cabinets, sink, fridge, counter and stove were clean. The kitchen table was clean and the chairs were actually perpendicular to each other and he’d dare even say they were perfectly aligned. The sofa and the small couch, the rug and even the small mattress, which he figured was Dagny’s bed, were so clean they looked brand new. He couldn’t see a single spot on them and whatever wear and tear they had were meticulously taken care of. Just like the kitchen table and the chairs these items were also perfectly aligned and he took notice of all the doors being closed. Not only was the bunker squeaky clean but everything was neatly put away and in its place. The place looked cleaner and better organized than that one working vault near Diamond City.

“How did you find this place?” Angelus asked as he continued to look around.

“Varg. Said he bumped into this place some twenty odd years after the bombs fell. Cleared it and has maintained it ever since. Let me stay here for as long as I want.”

“I take it Varg’s a ghoul?”

“Yeah, he is. He’s one of the pack of ghouls that lives in that massive ship to the south of Boston near Poseidon Energy.”

“I’ve heard of it but I haven’t seen it.” Angelus said as he moved over to the shelf full of books. He couldn’t read but books still fascinated him nonetheless. He looked at the letters along the spines of the books and wondered what they said, wondered what the books were about, and wondered if they were fun. Judging by the full shelf Jelani seemed to enjoy them. An idea crept into his head as he reached out and touched them along the spine and hoped he was correct in his assumption, otherwise his idea would be in vain and admittedly a little embarrassing.

“You read?” Jelani asked as he made his way into the kitchen.

“No. I actually can’t read.” Angelus responded truthfully and for the first time in his life he felt shame over the fact that he couldn’t read. It was funny, he never gave it a second thought but standing in front of that shelf and looking at the books and then looking back at Jelani a few things about him made sense. He wasn’t just smart he was what he and other raiders called “smart smart”, usually book smart people were easily taken advantage of or barely lasted out in the wastes by themselves but Jelani was proof that it wasn’t always the case. He was smart, highly trained, capable of surviving even on his own, obviously more than prepared for most anything that could come his way and as Angelus turned to look at him he admitted he was easy to look at too, certainly soft on the eyes, especially his face. He could easily sit around all day tracing his facial features with his eyes and not get bored.

“From the look of this shelf I’m guessing you do?”

“Oh, ja, that's pretty much all I do in my spare time. Every time I find a new one I haven’t read I take it or buy it or trade for it. Merchant I worked for some time ago stops every so often when she gets books in her inventory and I add ‘em to the list. If I know I’ll be gone for a while I leave a few caps hidden at the entrance and she leaves the books.” Jelani smiled at the end as he remembered his last interaction with the old merchant. She was a very sweet old thing that he grew fond of. She had a habit of finding and hoarding books just for him and thanks to her his collection grew more and more over time and he was thankful for it. On really bad days he often looked for any excuse not to lock himself in his room and put the barrel of a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger and as trivial as it may seem to others he sometimes told himself that if he went through with it he would be abandoning Dagny, wouldn’t see the old merchant again, and would not feel the thrill and joy of sitting on the sofa late at night as Dagny sat on his lap and he enjoyed a book he hadn’t read before.

“Speaking of which, that’s your half.” He said as he walked towards the table, he reached out and grabbed a small bag and tossed it to Angelus who caught it and looked at it in confusion. He then looked at the table and saw the cigarette carton that the Gunner had hidden the caps in.

“Half? But…why? I didn’t do anything.”

“Kept me company.” Jelani shrugged.

“That is nothing compared to what you did. You did all the work.”

“Hey, if those guards would’ve found us I wouldn’t have made it out by myself.”

“I highly doubt that, sweet pea. You look more than capable of handling some lowly Minutemen knockoffs.”

“Kan være…but either way, you were there with me and you didn’t have to.”

“Didn’t have to but, thanks, sweet pea.” Angelus said as he put the small bag of caps in his back pocket. He then walked up to the table as Jelani opened the door in the kitchen and turned on a light. Angelus could see several boxes, bottles and cans. His initial guess was correct, it was the pantry. He saw him come back out with several items, among them was a can of dog food and as soon as Dagny saw it she rushed over to sit by her bowls and patiently waited for her food.

Jelani laughed as he saw her and after setting down the items he grabbed a knife and opened the can of dog food and carefully poured the contents into the bowl. Once he stood back up he nodded towards the food and Dagny began to eat her meal. He chuckled once again and under his breath he muttered, “Flink pike.”

He then turned to Angelus and asked, “You hungry?”

“Enough to steal Dagny’s food.”

“A’ight, give me a few minutes. You okay with brahmin?”

“Absolutely! As bloody as you can, sweet pea.”

“Hyggelig!” Jelani exclaimed as he laughed.

Preparing dinner took about thirty minutes and as soon as it was done both boys sat down to eat. Angelus mostly poked at the vegetables while Jelani insisted it was a good idea to eat them and not feed them to Dagny. Aside from frowning at the vegetables and biting into them while making faces, Angelus kept regaling him with more stories about the Commonwealth. Some were as ridiculous as the Jamaica Plain one, others were more serious and others seemed more like exaggerated rumors that were made up. Every time Jelani laughed and smiled Angelus could feel little flutters in his chest and his cheeks lit up as he looked at him. There was something in the way he laughed that made Angelus feel like he did when he was a kid holding hands with a boy he liked, there was no denying it any more, he was falling for him and hard. The more he heard him talk the more he wanted to reach across the table and kiss him as deeply as he could though he restrained himself somehow. After they finished their meal Angelus volunteered to clean up while Jelani took a shower. The temptation to follow him into the bathroom almost felt like some type of test but once again he restrained himself. When Jelani was done he sat on the sofa and played a little with Dagny while Angelus took a shower. He really appreciated the fact that the bunker had a comfortable setup along with working pipes and plumbing, it was hard to find something like it in Nuka World. He may be a raider but he was very partial to being as clean as possible especially that night.

Once Angelus was done he sat on the sofa next to Dagny who was asleep next to Jelani with her head on his lap as Jelani absentmindedly caressed the back of her neck with his thumb. As much as he enjoyed playing with the small night stalker she was currently in his way. Regardless he sat down on the sofa and gently scratched her back. He looked down at Dagny and couldn’t help but smile. She was sweet, highly intelligent, loving and best of all there was nothing else like her in all of Boston.

“You really like dogs, don’t you?” Jelani broke the silence as he looked at Angelus and smiled.

“Yeah.” Angelus replied and as he did he looked up at Jelani and followed that up with, “Among other things.”

Angelus kept staring at Jelani. It hadn’t been till now that Jelani noticed his eyes were a shade of light gray, he hadn’t noticed before or at least looked at his face long enough to register his eye color. He was starting to feel some pressure build up the more Angelus kept looking at him and lightly smiling so in order to break it he said, “Huh, hadn’t noticed you have gray eyes.”

“Yeah, yours are pretty though.” Angelus said as he placed his right arm on the backrest of the sofa and leaned his head on his shoulder as he continued to look at him.

“Oh, please. It’s the second most common color.”

“Really?”

“Ja, blue’s the second most common eye color. Not sure why people make such a fuss about it, it’s just a lack of melanin in the iris. Yours though, that’s really rare.”

“What does melanin mean? And how do you know all this?”

“It’s what determines hair, eye, and skin color on people and animals. When my dad and I left DC we spent a week waiting out a storm in a university and I practically lived in the library for that whole week. Went through a lot of books which were mostly from the science department. After the storm let up I took as many as I could and over time traded them for ones I hadn’t read yet.”

“Fair but yours has my favorite color so I’m a little attached. That and they’re just really pale, they look a little weird.” Angelus moved closer to Jelani to get a better look at his eyes. He was being genuine, blue was his favorite color and the first thing that stuck out to him as soon as he saw him were his eyes.

“Weird?” Jelani questioned. He noticed Angelus was getting closer and part of him was nervous about someone else being that close to him. He figured he wanted to get a closer look at his eyes and even if that was all that he intended he still felt a little uncomfortable, he moved a little back and as soon as he moved Dagny got up from the sofa and made her way to her bed. Jelani didn’t fault her, she had a long day and was probably exhausted but she’d been acting as a sort of wall between him and Angelus and now that she moved he felt exposed.

“I didn’t mean that in a bad way. You know…I never thanked you for helping me out with those farmers.”

“Oh, you’re welcome.” Jelani said as he smiled as he looked at Dagny who was asleep on her bed.

Without warning or hesitation from the raider’s part Angelus jumped at the opportunity and grabbed Jelani by the chin, turned him towards him and kissed him. Jelani froze in place as what was happening was slowly registering in his head and as soon as he felt Angelus’ hand move up to his cheek he began to tremble. He shut his eyes out of nervousness as he felt Angelus’ thumb gently caressing his cheek and felt as he pulled him closer to him, as he did Jelani stiffened his body which only made Angelus move closer to him while he continued to kiss him. He could feel himself tremble a lot more to the point where his hands, that were pressed against the sides of his body, were starting to shake. He felt his heart beating faster and more intensely and his joints locking up making his body very stiff, he could hear his breathing intensify and it all accumulated in a single loud gasp as soon as he felt Angelus’ tongue slowly rub against his.

“You okay?” Angelus asked as he backed up a little and looked at Jelani who partially opened his eyes to see what he was doing.

No, he wasn’t okay. He was everything but okay, he really did not want to be doing what he was currently doing or better said what he thought he was being forced to do but he was afraid to tell him to stop. Jelani lowered his gaze out of fear and nodded as he said in a low whisper, “You just caught me off guard.”

“You sure?”

Instead of asking him to stop or arguing against it Jelani leaned forward and returned the kiss. He told himself that if he was the one to continue he’d be the one choosing to go through with it and it wouldn’t be the same as the night of the assault because in his head it made more sense to willingly go through with it even if he didn’t want to. It was irrational and illogical but somehow it made sense to him.

They kissed for a while and even though Jelani was starting to relax a little he was still stiff, nervous and forcing himself not to cry. Angelus completely misread Jelani’s reactions to being nervous due to lack of experience and he wasn’t wrong about that but his reaction was also due to something else he couldn’t possibly imagine. As they continued to kiss Angelus carefully pulled Jelani closer to him and then slowly and gently pushed him down so that he was laying on his back on the sofa and he was hovering over him. He placed one hand on his neck gently caressing him and used the other to slightly lift up Jelani’s shirt. He fumbled a little but eventually he found his belt and undid it, he then moved his other hand to undo his pants all the while still kissing him though much more intensely than before.

Jelani was starting to notice what was happening and he let out a barely audible whimper as he kissed him back using more tongue than he was before. He was starting to get nervous again but he was still too afraid to speak up so he countered it by trying to convince himself that this time he wanted this to happen. As soon as he felt Angelus pull his pants down his entire body went stiff and his eyes went wide, feelings and memories, sounds and sensations from that night flooded his mind all the while he was trying his hardest to contain his emotions though they were teetering on the border. As Angelus pulled on his pants he kissed him along the jaw, his neck and went further down, Jelani remained frozen in place until he felt his breath between his legs and his fear intensified. Angelus gently grabbed him with one hand and dragged his tongue along the shaft which caused Jelani to sit up.

“No, wait! Wait! Angelus, wait!” Jelani cried out as he looked at Angelus who propelled himself up to look back at him.

“You okay?” He asked as he looked at him. He seemed breathless and wired like he was afraid instead of aroused.

“Wait…uh…just do whatever you want but not that. Please?” Jelani pleaded as he looked intently at him, hoping and practically praying to no one that Angelus would at least avoid that particular activity. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep himself intact if he did what he was about to do and the last thing he wanted was to have a meltdown in front of him since he didn’t know if he would stop if he asked him to. Being assaulted again was one thing but being forced to beg and be ignored would’ve sent him somewhere he wasn’t sure he’d ever come back from.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard a guy say no to that…are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Yeah, I just–I’ve never…” Jelani lowered his gaze. Part of him felt like he was lying, that he could no longer make that claim, not after what was done to him.

“Never?” Angelus picked up on what Jelani was trying to say, his behavior aligned with what he had just said and he felt a bit awkward for moving as fast as he did. Angelus lifted Jelani’s face with his hand and as their eyes met he gave him a warm smile and said, “It’s okay if you’re not ready, sweet pea.”

He wasn't sure if he was or if he wasn't but the fact that Angelus backed off without Jelani really asking him to stop made him feel strange, it was hard to describe, he felt alleviated, nervous, confident and somewhat aroused all at once. He’d be lying if he said he wasn't interested in him but all the noise in his head took even the most innocent of thoughts and twisted them making them all about that night. Quite frankly he was tired of it. Despite the fact that he hadn’t planned on having any other company aside from Dagny that day he actually enjoyed having Angelus with him. He enjoyed the conversations they had before he took out that ex-Gunner turned Minuteman. He enjoyed the walk from the high school to the bunker and he certainly enjoyed having him around the bunker. Before he kissed him Jelani hadn't felt like he was in any danger and even after he kissed him he didn't really feel like he was in danger, it felt like his traumas were bleeding all over him yet again and ruined what would have otherwise been a pleasant experience, one that made him nervous, but pleasant nonetheless.

Jelani made up his mind and acted on his impulse before his head could catch up and ruin the moment again. With both hands he reached out, grabbed Angelus by the shirt and pulled him into a kiss, a bit clumsily at first as he was internally trembling yet again. He was still nervous so he was a bit stiff but he was far more enthusiastic now than he was before. Once he felt more comfortable he himself laid down on his back all the while still grabbing onto Angelus’ shirt which prompted the raider to lie on top of him. They continued to kiss as both pressed their bodies together; Jelani then wrapped both arms around Angelus’ neck.

“Are you sure you're okay with this? You really don't have to if you're not ready, sweet pea.” Angelus asked between kisses.

As a response Jelani finished pulling off his pants and pushed them off the sofa all while still keeping his arms wrapped around Angelus' neck and kissing him. Angelus placed a hand on Jelani’s thigh and used the other to remove his shirt but as soon as Jelani noticed he pulled down on the shirt.

“Don't.” He said between kisses.

“Okay.” Angelus replied as he let go of Jelani’s shirt. He lifted that same hand up to his mouth and inserted both his index and middle finger in his mouth. After a few seconds he began to kiss him again, deeper and a little more intensely this time. He moved his hand down and with the other spread Jelani's legs open a bit more. As he continued to kiss him he couldn't help but smile a little when he heard Jelani moan as he teased him with his fingers. He slowly circled his hole while occasionally pushing in the tip of one of his fingers but pulling the tip back out. The teasing only caused Jelani to moan louder in his mouth and when Angelus figured he had enough he carefully shoved his middle finger inside him. Angelus was slow and steady at first but he sped up when Jelani began to kiss him in an almost desperate manner. After a while Angelus pulled out and as he positioned himself better he kept both his middle finger, ring finger and index finger together and pushed all three inside Jelani who gasped which caused Angelus to go a little faster. He kept increasing speed and going deeper the more he became aroused due to Jelani's reactions.

Angelus kept going and eventually moved his head down and licked along Jelani's neck and given how much more and louder Jelani was moaning when he kissed along his neck he zeroed in on his neck while he went harder and deeper inside him. At some point Angelus moved his free hand and grabbed Jelani by the hip to pin him down to go faster and as deep as he could.

Jelani opened his eyes wide as he felt a hand on his hip and suddenly he was flooded by memories of that night. He began to hyperventilate as he felt like his entire right side was on fire, he began to tremble as he remembered details both small and big of that night. He swore he could hear their voices, their grunting, the noises they made when each had their turn with him. He could swear he could suddenly smell whiskey and he couldn't help but start crying. He wanted to scream but found he was breathless and all he could do was gasp as he kept being bombarded by those awful memories that seemed to still haunt him.

“Please…” He managed to whisper and when he noticed Angelus didn't stop he couldn't help but cry a little more.

“What, hon? Harder?” Angelus confused his pleading for him to go harder, so he did, not knowing that wasn't why Jelani said what he said.

“Stop! Please stop! Please!” Jelani managed to cry out almost hysterically.

Angelus immediately stopped and looked up to see Jelani crying with a look of sheer terror on his face. Confused but above all concerned he very carefully pulled out and said, “I didn't hurt you, did I? Are you okay, sweetheart?”

Jelani didn't answer. He remained frozen underneath Angelus while hyperventilating and looking directly at him. As soon as Angelus realized that something was wrong he backed away while keeping his eye on him and staying as still as possible, mostly as a reaction to his own confusion. He didn’t know if he had hurt him or did something that he wasn’t ready for though he was taken aback by his reaction. He looked him over and saw Jelani was frozen on the spot. He’d shuffled away from Angelus and was staring at him with his eyes wide open and was hyperventilating while staying as still as possible, he then noticed he was grasping the sofa hard.

“Sweet pea? Are you okay?”

After a few minutes of watching Jelani remain frozen in place Angelus got up and went to the kitchen to grab a bottle of clean water. He washed his hands in the sink and rushed back with the water and sat down as he reached his hand out and gently placed it on Jelani’s cheek. As soon as Jelani felt his hand he let out a loud yelp and backed away from his hand, Angelus frowned but he quickly realized that it was most likely a bad idea to touch him at the moment. His concern for him grew due to his reaction.

“It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you.” Angelus whispered as he looked at him and brought the bottle of water closer to him. He wasn’t entirely sure if water would help him, it was a knee jerk reaction. He’d seen so many people get water to people that were hurt or scared so many times he unconsciously incorporated it into his response to injury or fear. “Relax, sweet pea, it’s okay. It’s okay, you’re okay. Nothing bad’s gonna happen. Have some water, it’ll help.”

Angelus grew worried when Jelani didn’t react to anything he was doing or saying and he wondered what he’d said or done to cause this. He felt he may have pushed him too far, maybe he wasn’t as ready as he thought he was even though he insisted and the thought of being responsible for Jelani's current state made him sick to his stomach with guilt but he wanted to focus on making him feel better.

“Please, baby, talk to me. What’s going on?” Angelus insisted, his tone was growing desperate enough for him to have noticed himself. “I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong.”

Jelani made a sound as if he was trying to form a word though it got caught in his throat, he began to gasp as if somehow struggling to calm himself, breathe and talk at the same time all while scared out of his mind. Angelus stopped for a moment to look over Jelani and realized that he was panicking, he’d seen that before, it was a long time ago but he remembered seeing it. The water could help but he looked around for a blanket or a big jacket or a coat, anything that he could wrap him with. The bunker was spacious but it wasn’t large either, he could see the kitchen, the closet that he saw was full of weapons, ammo and other items that weren’t related to what he was looking for. He knew where the bathroom was so he walked over to it after he told Jelani that he was going to find a blanket. He wanted to communicate with him as clearly as possible to prevent further panicking and to establish some form of understanding so that he could focus on something instead of panicking. He went to the bathroom but didn’t find what he was looking for. Once he was back in the hall he noticed a door on the opposite wall and figured he could check it out. He opened the door and walked in, the room was dark so he felt around the wall for the switch and as soon as he found it he flipped it.

It was the bedroom and just like the rest of the bunker everything was clean, perfectly aligned and perfectly set up. The bed was made up so well that he couldn’t find a single wrinkle. At the sight of it Angelus scoffed and laughed.

“Army brat…” He chuckled as he went over to the bed and grabbed the blanket. It was almost a shame to ruin the bed but there were more pressing matters at hand than to lament a perfectly made up bed. He rolled up the blanket and tucked it under his arm to free up his hands. He figured he’d bring over some pillows as well so he could get him as comfortable as possible. There were several pillows so he grabbed as many as he could carry. When he lifted one of them he dropped everything he was carrying when he was startled by the sight of blood underneath one of the pillows and a switchblade neatly tucked underneath it. The blood on the knife and the pillow as well as on the bed was dry though it didn’t look like it had been there for too long as it still had that bright red hue to it. He looked at the pillow and was worried as it was a lot of blood, he couldn’t possibly imagine what could’ve happened nor did he want to sit there and ponder about it as he needed to get the blanket and pillows back to Jelani though he made a mental note about it to ask him later. He put the bloody pillow back exactly how he found it and put two of them back alongside it almost as if trying to feign that he hadn’t looked through the bed long enough to have found the blood and the knife to spare Jelani knowing he found it.

Angelus rushed back to the sofa and found Jelani hadn’t moved at all, he was upset but he focused on the task at hand.

“Okay, sweetheart. Let’s just try to get you warm and comfy.” Angelus wrapped the blanket around Jelani, after that he placed a pillow between his head and the backrest of the sofa and tucked another behind his back.

“Can you hear me?”

Jelani didn’t answer but he looked directly at Angelus and even though it wasn’t an answer Angelus smiled as at least he wasn’t looking through him which meant he was responsive.

“Do you wanna stay here?”

This time Jelani nodded and it seemed like he stopped crying though he was still breathing heavily and Angelus wanted to focus on that. “Okay, sweet pea. Do you want some water?” Jelani nodded again and Angelus opened the bottle and handed it to him and watched as he took little sips from it and smiled as he watched him.

After a few minutes Jelani set the bottle down and sighed as he looked down to look at it, his breathing was almost back to normal. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

“Nei, you didn’t. I wanted to but…” Jelani began to cry again.

Angelus got up and carefully pushed him forward so that he could sit behind him and hug him from behind. To his surprise Jelani grabbed on to him and just cried. Angelus rested his head on his and kept reassuring him that he was safe and that it was all right all while still wondering what happened to him to have made him have a panic attack but more importantly what could have triggered it so that he could avoid it in the future. He replayed what they did in his head and nothing stuck out to him. After some time passed Angelus heard a very faint and subtle hum coming from Jelani and as he looked down he noticed he’d fallen asleep in his arms and a very big and admittedly goofy smile formed on his face as he whispered to himself, “Oh, no…he’s adorable.”

It was around noon that Jelani was woken up by Dagny when she climbed up on the sofa and yipped at him to get his attention and when that didn’t work she began to lick his face until she woke him up. Seeing her snout so close to his face startled him a little but as soon as he sat up and got his bearings he got up and looked through his backpack for a watch he always carried and saw the time. He slept for almost twelve hours. He stood back up and realized that he’d actually slept through the entire night and as far back as he can try to remember he didn’t wake up from a nightmare or a night terror, he hadn’t drunk any alcohol or taken any chems. He was almost worried, ever since the assault he’d have a nightmare every time he fell asleep for more than three hours but last night he slept fine, he even felt rested. For the first time in months he felt like he had a good night’s sleep.

“Malakhov?” Jelani called out to Angelus but he got no response.

Jelani looked around and didn’t see him so he figured he must have been in the bathroom so he walked over and knocked on the door but there was no answer. He knocked again and again was met with silence. He opened the door only to find the bathroom was empty, after he closed the door he went into his bedroom and saw it was empty as well. He walked back to the sofa and stood in the middle of the bunker and realized he was all alone and for the first time in months it left a sinking feeling within him. When he came to terms that he was alone he turned to the kitchen to get Dagny something to eat as he figured she must have been starving he noticed some items on the kitchen table and frowned. He was one hundred percent sure he’d cleaned up everything in the kitchen after he and Angelus ate dinner the night before so he went over to it to take care of it but as he got close he noticed what it was.

On the table was a plate of food, cold by now, a fork next to it, a bottle of clean water and a holotape recorder with a holotape labeled in faded black ink “Launch Codes” sitting on it. Jelani recognized both items as both were in the bunker when he first moved in. He sighed deeply and put the holotape into the recorder and hit play and after a few seconds of static Angelus’ voice came on.

“Hi! I’m sorry I left without saying anything but I didn’t wanna wake you up. Hope you don’t mind but I took another shower and made us some breakfast. Now, I ain’t the best cook but I hope it’s okay. Oh! And I fed Dagny this morning so you don’t have to worry about feedin’ her whenever you wake up. Let’s see…um…I’m gonna be out of Boston for about a week and when I get back we can take that li’l trip to Salem and see some weird shit. I promise, it’s worth it. And…listen…I don’t know what happened to you at some point in your life but I am so sorry that I triggered that panic attack. I don’t know how it happened but I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that to you. You know, I may talk a lot but I’m pretty good at listening too so if you need to talk to someone I’m all ears. Anyway, I had a good time with ya and yeah, I’ll see you in a week, sweet pea.”

Jelani shuddered as he tried his hardest to keep himself from crying but by the end of the recording he was sobbing as he wrapped his arms around himself. There were so many thoughts racing across his mind at the moment and he felt emotionally overwhelmed and ashamed of his panic attack the night before. Angelus actually felt good and so did he and for once he managed to keep his fears in check but it seemed like being grabbed a certain way and in certain areas was too much for him. For reasons unknown even to him he wanted to tell him that his panic was sparked by him grabbing his hip but the more he thought about it the stupider it sounded and he felt embarrassed by it. He couldn’t understand why but he missed him already and part of him felt like if he knew where Angelus was headed he would’ve run after him just to be near him and it both confused and scared him. He was never one to be dependent on another person but he wanted to be with him at that very moment and the fact that he wasn’t there and would have to wait a week to see him again felt rancid. He rewinded the holotape as he laid his upper body on the table and played it again just to hear his voice.

#001022 #fo: Jelani tag #fo: Angelus tag #fo: Dagny tag #Oracle Corp AU: Fallout

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see-arcane · 1 year

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Harker Horrors

The Vampyres

Something is culling the dead.

Whether they imbibe blood, leech life, or merely traded mortality away to their devil of choice, the revenants of the world are disappearing. A phenomenon that has been carving its way through the undead like a belated necrosis moving steadily through the past century and more. One which the Vampyre, a possessor of many names and collector of many lives, has been fretting over for some time.

A laughable fear, for he is one of those canny cadaverous few who made a deal for perpetual resurrection. The bitten may crumble, but the bargainer may rise from death after death. So he reminds himself. So he worries is no longer the case.

Not when the old boyar in the Carpathians was one of the first to vanish. Still, the monster from the mountains may simply be in hiding, just as the rest must be. The Vampyre himself is surely jumping at shadows. So he convinces himself for a single night…

…before a Thing known only as ‘Quinn Morse’ makes itself and its work known.

Surprise! I accidentally finished a novella during what was supposed to be a short story break. Whoops. Updates to come.

Link to Tumblr post (and Google Doc link within) is here.

If you’d like to drop some change in my virtual tip jar, my Ko-fi is here.

Assorted other Horrors are below the cut to save you from an overlong post:

Barking Harker

The climax in Transylvania takes a perilous turn. The surreal shifts in Jonathan Harker’s person are revealed as only the beginning of a far stranger metamorphosis. The promise of Mina Harker’s life becomes the crux of an unthinkable bargain. The dead travel fast, but are far from the only roaming children of the night—and far from the only threat. The past is exhumed, the present brims with monsters new and old, and the future yawns open like the swinging lid of a coffin as plans further, deeper, and far more nightmarish than Dracula’s English holiday come to light…

Link to teaser section here.

Penclosa

It’s been almost a year since Jonathan Harker made that fateful first trip to Transylvania. The monster that imprisoned him, that threatened his love, that died in a box of earth by two blades, has been gone for months. Yet Jonathan’s nightmares have never left. In fact, as the bleak anniversary nears, they have worsened. Van Helsing’s mesmerism has made no progress in freeing him from the nightly horror. But he has come from Amsterdam for a potentially fruitful visit to another professor. Prof. Wilson is playing host to a mesmerist of singular and uncanny power, Miss Helen Penclosa. On meeting the troubled young man and his wife, she is only too happy to help…

Link to teaser section here.

#time to dust off the Scribbles blog and load it up with all the new original stuff on this one #at this point it's just a paranoia thing #but better safe than sorry if this account ever magically vanishes again :c #barking harker #penclosa #jonathan harker #dracula #helen penclosa #the parasite #bram stoker #arthur conan doyle #the vampyre #the vampyres #john william polidori #my art #my writing #harker horrors

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wishing-stones · 8 months

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whats the longest streak the boys have with keeping baggs from working? would any of them make bets surrounding the docs chronic workaholism

This is a bit of a dangerous game to play with him because he's wildly intuitive and observant. He tends to brush off direct attempts to get him to pull his proverbial nose out of his work at best, or threaten to frog march them out of his lab and make them leave him alone. The only one he lets get away with this is Nightmare, who will ramp up his persistence the longer he gets dismissed.

"I believe it is high time that you stop for the evening, doctor. It is getting quite late." "Yes, yes, I'm aware. I'm neck-deep in the middle of something, so once I'm finished. It shouldn't be more than an hour at the most." An hour later, he comes back. "If you are still 'neck-deep' in your project, perhaps I ought to lift you out of it." "Less so now, I'll wade out myself, don't fuss yourself over it, I will let you know." Twenty minutes later, he comes back again and sits down. "Have you even considered a stopping point in all of this?" "I have, and I have also almost reached it." After another ten minutes, Nightmare takes to hovering. "I'd prefer it if you weren't in my necessary escape path, I need room to maneuver if I make a miscalculation." "If you are anticipating miscalculations, it is far beyond time for you to cease what you are doing." Continued bickering or dismissal gets him picked up (once his hands are free) and carted off. Baggs is usually good about stopping something quickly if he's being threatened with this, because it embarrasses the hell out of him.

Among the guys, the reigning champion is Axe, who has picked up on Baggs' innate want to help and capitalizes on it to keep him busy with little things that aren't in his lab or involve a project. Things like his memory exercises, needing an extra pair of steady hands as a sous chef, and oh, hey! Check out this neat thing he got when he was on a mission the other day.

Killer and Cross tag-team and make him sit still in one spot while overseeing sparring matches.

Dust has cottoned on to what kinds of media he likes, so he'll play it loudly enough in the tv room to draw the doc's attention if he's nearby.

If they all work together, over the course of a day, they can probably keep him out of his lab for the day. The longest streak they've managed is three days, by the end of which Baggs was going stir-crazy from not having something to devote is excess energy to, having slept regularly, and being coerced into leisure for a few days to rest his body as well. He's not that upset about it, he knows it was done for his wellbeing, but... It was underhanded and sneaky.

There generally aren't bets for "how long can this person keep him distracted" and more "how long is it gonna take the boss to force him to call it quits."

Killer usually wins these because he knows Nightmare and his boundaries the best.

#k answers #k headcanons #feat. r&r crew #readmore for length as always

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dogueteeth · 16 days

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Fanfic Writer Questions

Thank you @silvery-bluish & @glitchy-npc for the tags! Not sure who else to send it to atm but if you see this on my page and decide to pitch in with your answers feel free to @ me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I've got 12! Most are oneshots, others are series.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

47002 on AO3 at the moment! And so much more in my docs.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily Fallen Hero, with a dash of TWC and some other fandoms sprinkled in my WIPS but I've been on Fallen Hero brainrot for a long time now so the other fandoms are currently neglected.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Nightmare (surprisingly enough) w/ 28 kudos

focus (it's harder than you think) (also surprising lol) w/ 20 kudos

new pavement w/ 18 kudos

anamnesis w/ 18 kudos

freefall w/ 13 kudos tied with bath(toaster)tub also w/ 13 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to respond to all of them! But some days I just don't have the spoons to and I forget, but I really appreciate any comments I receive.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

HA. you want me to pick??? Ok hrm. maybe bath(toaster)tub? anamnesis also has so me pretty angsty pieces in there.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

PFFF. ok gotta. go look for this one. Maybe sargasso sea, though it's technically not the last iteration in its series between a continued plotline hinted out in after the fall and a third part planned for its series.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet! I think.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

(slaps brain) this bad boy can generate so much smut. I write pretty much any kind? Soft, rough, indulgent, M/M, F/M, F/F, other any everything, kinky or emotional, etc. Just whatever strikes me at the time, but most just dont get published bc I'm mid.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I typically HATE crossover fics they just aren't my thing I do write AUs of X story set in X story's universe, just haven't published them (wait does that still count as a crossover).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nah, considered it once tho.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! Haven't found someone with the vibe ig, it's just never crossed my mind to co-write a fic and just never been asked too.

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

(cue strained breath) i have no all time favorites BUT. but. Ricardo/Wei gets me SO soft ok. i just. unrequited years long attraction finally requited and i. AAAAA. place sidestep in there too and i'm just so happy. i need poly rep in my life sometimes ok.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I stare into the google docs hell and ask you how you could expect me to pick one but. BUT. Praeludium//Allegro. A piece meant to dive in how Sidestep is able to experience the moment someone dies through their mind.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Shorter pieces! They tend to be about ~2000-5000 words per part, that's usually when I feel I've done my best. I'm also. Decent at NSFW writing? Sometimes, at least.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely long fics. I had a plan for freefall and have scrapped and adapted it multiple times now, pus it's just difficult to keep myself interested in specific but necessary chapters.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's fun! I've included Spanish and Russian excerpts into my fics before but I don't do it a lot. Considered writing fully in Spanish at some point for an Ortega POV but I'm not confident in my grammar abilities. Spanish verb tenses my beloathed.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto. On a different old account best left to gather dust.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Hm, I'm not sure if I have a favorite. I do really like the NSFW piece I wrote from Remy's POV, though. Short but good.

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gabessquishytum · 1 year

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I have more omegaverse thoughts!! In no particular order have a brain dump of ideas that are free real estate

Hob is starting to go into heat but it’s the date of one of their centennial meetups and he can’t miss it. Dream doesn’t understand why everyone in the bar is giving them the side eye (it’s Hob - he smells like sweet fertile omega) And Dream can morph his form into anything. So he morphs it into one of an Alpha for Hob.

Dream has been visiting Hob more lately. Just popping into his life at random times. He goes by the university but Hob isn’t there. So he appears in his apartment. Hob is in the height of a heat. Fingers and toys buried deep but it’s not.enough. And there is Dream watching him. Curious at his friend. Curious enough to just insert his hand into Hob’s hole without prompting or asking.

(Hear me out here) Hob is an alpha in physiology. But he only truly likes to get fucked by other alphas and always considered himself much more submissive and omega-like in personality and in bed.

1489 Hob very specifically asks, “What do I have to do?” When questioning Dream about why he’s immortal and who Dream is. What if instead of saying he has to do nothing but meet every 100 years Dream decides to get greedy. What does Hob have to do? Be his omega. Satisfy his ruts. Present for the nightmare king.

Whoops! Dream didn’t realize he has all the parts of an alpha and Hob is in heat and it triggers a rut. Queue rough claiming needy Dream just taking Hob in a haze of sex

Whooooops Dream and Hob fucked dirty in 1389 or 1489 and Dream imprinted on/marked/claimed (whatever flavor of omegaverse you want to go with here) Hob. So now Hob is tied to a man he only sees every 100 years who doesn’t even realize what he did.

Intersex omegaverse Hob via reality bending Dream. He’s got a leaking hole that can be plugged for days. He’s also got a cock that can plug up Dream. Hell they could do both simultaneously when Dream gets creative about it.

Can go opposite and have Dream be the omega - have Hob unable to resist him. Dream on his back begging for relief (something he never thought he would do) Letting Hob be the one to fill him through every round of heat.

Omegaverse royalty AU - Dream is the prickly prince who is required to bond to ascend the throne in the kingdom. So queen night and king time hold a ball (or a selection?) to find potential mates. Queue sweet Hob Gadling a peasant who has no business mating with the prince doing exactly that much to everyone else’s surprise. &/or you could also go the route of accidentally slept with the servant and knocked them up. Whoopsie. Idk basic tropes are fun to play with here.

Pure smut - Hob just imagines a knot and Dream wants to give him everything he wants. So he gives himself a knot mid-fuck into Hob. But Hob wasn’t expecting that and isn’t relaxed enough when it appears. So Dream has to coax his large knot already swollen slowly into Hob. The stretch of it burns slightly but Hob has never been so satisfied. There he plugs him up and keeps Hob on his swollen cock for hours. Filling him with more cum every round.

I’m sure I have way more thoughts but this was my initial brain dump to hopefully help inspire you even juuuuust a little. 🤞

-🫀

I think we should kiss. Passionately. In the rain. This is SO good. Seriously, you're an absolute inspiration and I'm happy to report that the abo fuckfest has begun in my Google docs and I have already incorporated a couple of these incredible, delicious, FANTASTIC ideas.

I'm so weak for alpha x alpha btw, so thank you for reminding me that that is a thing. Alpha Hob taking a knot from Alpha Dream? I'm going to make it happen. When I've finished what I'm working on right now 😏😏

#🫀 anon #dreamling #nsft #the sandman #cw omegaverse

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friend-of-a-cat · 2 months

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Hello there! Apologies for diving into your inbox and if I'm interrupting anything you're busy with; but I just wanted to say again - thank you so much for that wonderful post you made for EO with your own version of events! (It's this one: just to serve as a throwback and reference https://www.tumblr.com/friend-of-a-cat/737035670430810113/my-very-crude-etrian-odyssey-rewrite?source=share) You really helped fix a dilemma I had with a potential Nexus playthrough; that being the fact that it wouldn't really make much sense for my EO5 party members to be around my EO1-4 ones, ahah. As a matter of fact, my own 'lore' for the series has grown and been largely, if not completely based around your post, it really is that good and if I ever one day sit down and decide to write about all the chronicles of my guilds from EO1-5, I'd definitely take your sequence of events into consideration, ahah. Actually, I messaged you because I grabbed the words from your post and began to expand on it some more on a doc, adding more details on how things came to be and taking a few details from Untold (a game I haven't and will probably never play, lol), while also doing just a bit of rearranging and putting a date on all of the history. I'm unsure who else I'd really show it to, but I thought I'd let you know about it and gauge your interest, seeing as 90% of it was your work, ahahah. Do let me know if you'd like to give it a read, but more than anything; thank you again for your contributions to the EO community!

Thank you so much! And you're so welcome, I'm glad my post was able to help! I'm chuffed that I was able to inspire you to expand upon your own lore. I found the timeline to be kind of a nightmare and then inspiration struck, so I kind of just… sat there for a good few hours writing and revising it all.

I would absolutely love to give your document a read. Literally anything Etrian Odyssey piques my interest lol, and I adore looking at and reading fan content (and making it). I'm very interested in your additions, too, especially since I haven't finished a single game (which is still one of my greatest shames, though, in my defence, I have nearly finished at least two of them) - thus, I don't really have a lot of context for some of the events that happen. But yes, definitely send it over and I'll give it a look when I have some free time!!

#my asks #my ramblings #etrian odyssey

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imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese · 4 months

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RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP list, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it. And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Ok so… this is where we get into just how utterly chaotic my creative process is, but not in a way that results in oodles of files that have creative interesting names - quite the opposite in fact.

You see… I have currently have 16 files and the titles are:

Moonrat Moonrat 2 Moonrat 3 Moonrat 4 … all the way up to the current Moonrat 16

The reason for this is that I don't actually separate different stories into individual files until they end up on Ao3. It's all just one long running thing all squished together with a few spaces between 'chunks' that sometimes, but not always, end up being separate stories and/or chapters. And I'm a packrat (pack-moonrat?) and never throw anything away so if something is cut out it's usually shoved in a free spot at the bottom of everything else to be used in something else later.

When Google docs starts taking too long to load and spazzes on me with lag, that's when I start a new file.

Because my first drafts end up looking more like free-verse poetry than stories, with usually only between 1 and 5 words on a line, either in bits of un-attributed dialogue or point form ideas, it often goes on for a ridiculous number of pages, so these tend to be large documents. I also am really really bad at titles. Except in very rare situations, everything comes out as untitled brain vomit and then is titled very close to the end (sometimes mid Ao3 post when I realize 'oh yes, titles are a thing - oops') long after I've turned it into actual sentences with real grammar and such.

Basic unfinished idea-chunks that are ongoing include, but are not limited to:

30-some pages of the first Dawning story that is still unfinished (I ended up realizing I would not finish the writing challenge in time if I continued the inordinately long Dawning story I had begun so I wrote "Dawning Oasis" instead and will finish this one some other time)

the Drifter on a special secret mission for Eris in the Sepulcher lost sector in the Throne World

Eris finding a renegade Hive chapel dedicated to her on the Moon

the last chapter(s) of "Dance with Vengeance" (this has since been posted)

several false starts based upon lyrics to other Crane Wives songs for that one writing challenge I did (as opposed to the completed one with sad Drifter having nightmares called "Ashes, Ashes")

oodles of random snippets of dialogue

Drifter teaching Eris to cook and/or cooking and/or Eris eating various dishes

various iterations of Eris exhibiting telepathy and/or non-normative vision that I have rejected from current projects for consistency reasons which may end up in other things later

more Immaru bullying like in "Visitation" and "Wind Chimes" (he knows what he did)

lots more nightmares because, when I'm not writing fanfiction, that's one of my narrative specialities

several false starts for the sequel/enactment of the private gambit match discussed in "Hide and Seek"

bits pertaining to and/or including/referencing that one bog slug

Per the rules above, you are invited to ask/message about any/all of these (or, quite frankly, anything else - I do not bite unless we both agree that I wish to bite you and you wish to be bitten).

I have never done a thing like this before, nor have I ever tagged anyone else on tumblr before, so here's hoping I did this correctly. I was tagged by: @flowers-of-io and I am tagging: @redbutterflies-blueeyes @synnthamonsugar @bbyfacedx and @annieruok94

I would love to tag more people but I actually have quite the serious disconnect between who people are on Ao3 and who people are on here and I am very easily confused. If you look at this and go "But why did you not tag me? Do you not love me?" The answer is: "No I just have no fucking clue what I'm doing. Please say hello and tell me who you are on Ao3 so I can include you if I ever do a thing like this again."

That is all.

#writing #ask game

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takearisk-xo · 2 years

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Hey! Do you know when you will be posting? I am desperately waiting for the new chapter. If it is gonna be long can we have a sneak peak??

so i was told by @fairsquare16 that the next time someone asks about a update on the update i was allowed to blame her because we spent the entire day yesterday talking about an original fantasy romance story that i have absolutely no intention of continuing, let alone finishing, instead of actually writing and editing chapter 11.. so please feel free to go over to her ask box and torture her for our delay (i am 100% joking please be nice to cata)

in all honesty, i have rewritten the second half of chap 11 at least four times and two days ago got so fed up with it that i deleted about 5k words (which looking back wasn't the best course of action but here we are) i have promised several people who can hold me accountable that this will be my last rewrite and for the sake of my own sanity i will not delete and rewrite any more scenes.

i actually have my doc opened right now and am working my way through it very slowly but we're working through it. i've honestly considered these past four weeks progress even though its been a nightmare, because it HAS gotten better with each rewrite its just frustrating for me that i have to rewrite in the first place.

ANYWAYS all of this is a really round about way of saying that i have no idea when i will post but that i hope it will be soon.

i do have a fun (mild spoiler) sneak peak if you are interested? i'll put it under the cut because of said spoilers

“Merlin’s fucking beard,” Ron muttered, straightening to his full height and pulling Harry’s attention to the door. Padma rounded the corner accompanied by a person he hadn’t seen in nearly five and half years. “No,” Ron growled, extending a protective arm over the top of Harry’s chest. “Absolutely not.” “Funnily enough,” Pansy Parkinson replied, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t recall needing your permission.” Ron rounded on Padma. “Are you mad?” Padma sighed like she’d been expecting this. “Pansy consults on an as-needed basis-” “I don’t care,” Ron interrupted. “Find someone else.” “There is no one else-” “By all means, Weasley,” Parkinson deadpanned, moving to stand at the foot of the bed. “Keep arguing, but your friend here can’t live on oxygenation spells forever.” “Better that than whatever you’re going to do to him-” “Enough!” Padma bellowed, her russet cheeks flushed pink. “Ron, stand aside or get out of my exam room-”

#tpfy update #tpfy sneak peek #the path from you #anon #answered

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thessalian · 9 months

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Thess vs IT Bullshit

I'm really hoping that today was the result of the universe getting my usual "Thursdays Are Bullshit" thing done a little early this week because of how important tomorrow actually is for me. I could accept that if it means that I get a smooth, hassle-free booking of my autograph slots at MCM tomorrow afternoon...

So today, apparently we added a new hospital to our dictation software, and everything was fucked. Here are just a few of the bits of bullshit I encountered over the course of the day, on top of the scam call that woke me up earlier than I wanted to be after an already fitful sleep:

First off - couldn't drag a chunk of typing into my own personal folder. Every time I did, it magically vanished and reappeared in the main queue. So I had to basically just type whatever was at the top of the queue every time. Which ... well, you know what Temp's like. (Thank the gods for Milady, is all I'll say.) Of course, the problem there is what happens when we're all trying to grab the bit of typing at the top of the queue at the same time (the word you are looking for to describe that is "clusterfuck").

When I was trying to figure out where the typing I'd pulled into my personal folder had vanished off to, I checked the archives. Happened to notice a few things in there that hadn't been typed. So when I flagged that up in the growing email chain about the mess the addition of the new hospital to our dictation software caused, the IT guy pulled everything labelled as "Transcription Pending" out of the archive and back into the main queue. Suddenly the queue is 300-odd dictations long, so basically doubled.

I then proceeded to notice that when we finish typing the dictation and click "Finished" ... the software doesn't switch it to "Transcription Completed". It just sits there in the archives as "Transcription Pending". So most of the ones that the IT guy put back into the main queue had already been typed, so it was a matter of digging out which ones had and which ones hadn't been typed, which as you can imagine was a fucking nightmare. (Scruffman then turned to IT Guy and went, "That was a really bad call because you have stressed out all the secretaries; next time, just stick them in my queue and I'll sort out which have been typed and which haven't". I have no idea if they're going to solve the fact that transcriptions aren't marked as finished when they're ... you know, finished.

Also it turns out that the reason there were untyped reports in the archives is because some genius decided that a copy of a piece of dictation should go into the archives before it's been typed. This is counterintuitive as fuck to me, but hey. Also we don't each have individual archive folders anymore, which makes it even harder to find something we maybe hit "Finish" on by mistake. (It can be easy to do - the button for "Finish" is at the top of the foot pedal, right over the spot you press for "Play", so...)

Then I ended up doing a lot of the typing for the new junior doctors, because of course I did - they were the long ones. One guy had messed up his microphone connection and was halfway across the room from the built-in microphone in his monitor so I had to try to type up things he was saying from halfway across the room when something very near the microphone was making this ... not loud, exactly, but heavy *THOOMP THOOMP THOOMP* noise that I could actually feel through my in-ear headphones (great for someone with chronic migraine, right?). I think it was music because it sounded like a rave with the treble turned down all the way. Anyway, he also cut out a significant chunk of the block key by mistake and I had to dig up contact details for this guy when I only had a first initial and a fairly common last name to go on. Thankfully, I got it right first try, but it was more bullshit I did not need.

Another junior doctor produced a twelve-minute long monstrosity but it was actually only maybe half that, because the junior doctor kept recording through the general faff he was doing with the specimen. This on top of rewriting half the actual report in the middle of and immediately after finishing the block key.

He was not the only one to keep recording when unnecessary, by the way. At least the other one only left it for three minutes instead of, like, six.

All I wanted to do with today was throw together some tuna broccoli pasta, have a nice meal, and indulge in some more Baldur's Gate 3 as a way of distracting from the vibrating anxiety I am feeling over having to book eight autograph slots that are going to be fought over like starving dogs fight over scraps. (Effectively I'm going to be hovering over that site at five minutes to three in anticipation of the autograph slots going on sale, and if work doesn't like it, work can suck it; I'm allowed breaks.) However, now the migraine is growing to epic proportions and the stress is causing a fibro flare and both are giving me vertigo and I can't tell whether the nausea and the dizzy is the vertigo or the fact that I haven't eaten much of anything today.

...What, you think I had time for lunch in all this? I took some breaks, sure, but none long enough to stuff a sandwich into my face. I had two cups of coffee and a nectarine.

So basically ... underslept and tired, stressed and aggravated, nauseous and pain-wracked, probably hungry but not really sure, and in no mood to do anything but whimper, really.

......I guess that's one way to distract from autograph booking anxiety...

#Thess has a day job

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gone-to-oregone · 2 years

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Thinking about making a complete* Hatchetfield lore doc, with everything that we know so far. If you have any canon information from Nick, Starkid Twitter, any of the Nightmare Time talkbacks, or the Guy/Black Friday’s commentary tracks, or just any connections you’ve made with stories/lyrics/characters, please feel free to add them here so I can add them to the doc. When it’s finished, I’ll add it here

#starkid #nightmare time #hatchetfield horrors #the guy who didn't like musicals #black friday

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heartofspells · 1 year

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13, 14, 20, and 22

(Also, fun fact about 14: I loaned a kid a book in Sixth Grade, I’m a junior in college now, and I still remember their name, which book it was, and that I never got it back so I had to buy a new copy. I remember almost nothing else about this kid or middle school, but I will never forget this)

I would also never forget that. The pure evil nerve of withholding such a precious item from you. You have my deepest sympathies.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Oh, okay. We're starting with the hard, juicy ones. I'm here for it.

Truly bad/neglectful/abusive parenting is probably the thing I struggle with the most. If you've ever paid attention to any of my fics where it's brought up, you might notice that while it's there, addressed and made known, I also skirt around it for the most part (especially with Sirius and the Blacks). I think the closest I've ever come if turning Lyall into a disinterested and judgmental father for one specific fic/series where he and Remus had one (1) harsh interaction where words were thrown out. Everything else is always mostly hinted at.

That being said, it's almost too easy to write the bits that come after, once the character is free but still struggling with it, which is a strange thing, I'm aware. Beyond that, almost any other sort of deep angst or dark topic comes pretty easily to me.

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

I've always been very protective of my books, even when I was young. I always get them back and I only lend to people I know aren't going to disappear. I'm like a library. You get two weeks and after that I'm snapping my fingers, demanding it be returned or you'll suffer the consequences (paying the late fees with your SOUL). My sister is the worst. She borrows books a lot and it's always a struggle getting them back, but I know where she lives, so she can't hide from me.

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

Screw love, I want my story finished to perfection with gorgeous little details added into the pages and artwork projected straight from my mind so that people can see exactly what I see, no typos in existence, every sentence structured divinely, with all the emotions that cripple a person and leave them nothing but puddles of themselves. Gimme.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

Ahaha! The way I laughed at this. Look, there are certain aspects of my life where I am insanely organized and put together. Writing isn't one of those areas. I have an external hard drive, two flash drives, and three separate, chaotic document folders on my laptop all containing different bits of writing. Some of my stuff is stored on Google Docs (hate that), there are things in Dropbox (do people still use that anymore??), notes also stored in all these places along with on my phone in an app, bits of writing lost forever in the terror that is tumblr, randomly jotted things on scrap pieces of paper, old notebooks and a Filofax from years ago floating around in boxes and inside drawers that haven't seen the light of day in years...Those WIP games that go around sometimes are a nightmare because I'm a mess. I'll never find it all.

Send me weird questions if you'd like!

#weird writer questions #ask game #anon asks #ask #answer #lovely anons

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mypoisonedvine · 3 years

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Side Effects | Bruce Banner x reader

summary: you never know what might be in the beakers at another chemist's station. you never know which of your colleagues might come along just in the knick of time to become the only antidote to your affliction.

word count: 3.6k

warnings: smut! (dub con due to sex pollen), semi-public sex (because technically someone could have walked by but unlikely), guilt/hesitance, kinda pining??, fingering, creampie,

a/n: yes, this is an accurate depiction of emergency shower protocol in a chemical lab and yes it is every lab technician's worst nightmare. thankfully the other stuff is not an accurate depiction of any known chemical, lol.

You wiped your forehead with a tired sigh, staring down at the calculations in front of you before using your pen to scribble over them before tearing out the page and throwing it away.

“You still do that by hand?” Bruce interjected, making you look up at where he was leaning in the doorway to the lab, watching you work.

“Oh, Dr. Banner!” you greeted with a smile, wondering if it was too ecstatic. You weren’t so good at the ‘playing it cool’ thing like he seemed to be.

“We have all those fancy screens and digital whiteboards, you know,” he explained as he stepped in and looked around at your work. “Not to mention the computer can do that stuff for you.”

“I know,” you scoffed, “but I always feel better doing it myself, on real paper. Not that I’m having any luck at the moment…”

"Here, I'll give them a quick look while you take a break," he offered, glancing at the numbers from over your shoulder. "You just get up and stretch your legs for a minute, doc."

You always thought it was sort of silly for him to call you that when he was a doctor as well, but you didn't complain.

Regardless, you were about to tell him that it was fine and you didn't need a break, but he was leaning in closer to take your seat and the proximity was so intimidating that you hopped up and went along with it anyways. He sat down and pondered your calculations while you circled the lab, taking a moment to appreciate how nice it felt to stand up and move around after sitting for so long.

"Your handwriting is…" Bruce trailed off, adjusting his glasses.

"Feminine and graceful?" you finished sarcastically.

"Sure," he chuckled.

"Yeah, just like me—" you started to quip, but mid-sentence you (ironically) stumbled and tripped, using a nearby table to catch yourself— but you accidentally grabbed onto a beaker, which tipped over and smashed onto the ground. The liquid inside spilled onto the floor just before you did, and you winced as you fell into the puddle of the unknown substance.

“Shit!” you hissed as you scrambled to get up, looking down at your clothes and seeing they were covered in the fluid, which was beginning to evaporate, or steam, or something. Remembering lab safety protocols, you instantly began to strip, closing your eyes and wishing Bruce hadn’t come in just before this. As you shirked your lab coat, shirt, and skirt, you walked to the emergency shower, pulling the lever and gasping when the chilly stream of water poured down on you. Bruce looked at you with wide eyes before being kind enough to turn around as you shivered and removed your bra and underwear, now completely naked and weakly scrubbing yourself with your hands in hopes that none of the chemical had gotten onto your skin.

“What is it?” he asked nervously, turning his head back enough that you could hear him over the flow of water, but hopefully not so much that he could see anything important.

“I don’t know,” you answered, “it’s not mine. It’s something Dr. Sutherland was working on…”

“Is it… are you in pain at all?” he asked, even more concerned, and you tried to decide if you could feel any effects.

“N-no…” you answered hesitantly. You felt hot, and strange, and you were covered in rolling chills, but you figured that was just the situation you were in— naked in a tepid shower in front of your coworker who just so happened to be incredibly sexy.

“I should call poison control,” Bruce offered as he reached for his cell phone.

“No, I’m fine,” you denied as the water flow slowed down and you wiped your face, confident that you looked like a complete mess— but at least you saved yourself from whatever was in that beaker, right?

“Here,” Bruce offered an emergency blanket to you after pulling it off a nearby shelf, and it was not at all absorbent but it helped with the draft as you stepped away from the shower which was still leaking the last few drops of water onto the drain on the floor.

“Thank you,” you nodded nervously, shivering and dripping and looking back at him with no idea what to say at all.

“Do you feel alright? I should check you for burns,” he suggested. “I— I won’t look…”

“Please,” you sighed, pulling the blanket a bit to expose your chest and stomach. He brushed his hand over the skin there, making you instantly whine as heat burned just under your skin, clouding your mind and making you crave even more.

"Did that hurt?" he asked anxiously, pulling away, but you stepped closer.

"No it's… it's good, it's so good."

He furrowed his brow as he looked down at you, putting the back of his hand to your forehead. "You're burning up, doc, you must be running a fever of 105."

"Touch me more, please," you whimpered. It was like you were in a dream, everything foggy and distant, and the only time that anything made sense was when he touched you. Or maybe it was that his touch sent you further into delirium; you couldn't be sure.

He gasped when he looked at your quivering legs only to find slick arousal running down the inside of them, threatening to drip onto the floor.

"Oh," he sighed.

"Please," you begged mindlessly, "Dr. Banner, I n-need you…"

"No, you need medical attention."

You whined and grabbed as his shirt, humming at the feeling of his warm skin just beneath. If the forearms that he often left exposed in rolled-up sleeves were anything to go buy, his chest was probably toned and tanned, lightly dusted with dark hair… you were all but drooling at the thought. "Please, Bruce… just help me," you pleaded, looking up into his eyes which were swirling with conflict.

"I can't," he shook his head. "I'd be taking advantage."

He must have seen the heartbreak of rejection make you wince, because he tried to soothe you with his hands resting on your arms— even just that contact making you suppress a moan.

"I've wanted this for so long," he explained, "and you— you haven't. You're unwell, you need to go to a hospital."

You sobbed a little at the idea of being taken away from him and examined by strangers, when you knew the solution was right in front of you. "No, no Bruce they'll touch me! Nobody can touch me but you, I only want you."

He scoffed, but you heard the weakness in it and you needed him to give in soon before you melted from your own hear. "You're deranged— delirious," he reiterated.

"It'll feel so good, please Bruce, I'll be so good for you— anything you want, I'll do it, I'm yours."

"Stop talking like that," he winced. "I can't… I can't."

"I need to feel you inside me, Dr. Banner, I need it more than anything. It's just gonna get worse… please, help me. I want you. I trust you."

"You'll hate me in the morning," he asserted. "God, this is so wrong…"

But much to your relief, he reached down and hesitantly slid his thick middle finger through your folds, gasping gently as he felt how wet you were. "I should t-take you somewhere private."

"No, need you now— right here," you pleaded, trying to chase his touch with your hips.

"But if someone came by—" he began to fret, glancing at the door; but his attention was turned back to you by your hands weaving into his hair.

"Nobody else stays this late, god, Bruce please I just need you so bad—"

He cut you off with a sudden kiss, which was enough on its own to make warmth bloom in your gut, but then he started to move his finger again and you shuddered with a moan that was muffled by his lips.

"Maybe I can make you come like this," he offered as he pulled back just enough to whisper to you, "would that help you? It'll take the edge off."

You bucked and moaned against his fingers, just those subtle touches driving you wild. "N-no, it has to be inside! You have to fuck me, I need your cock."

He breathed through his teeth, like he was almost considering it, but then looked away. "I can't," he shook his head.

"Can't or won't?"

He frowned. "Won't. I'll get you off with my fingers, otherwise it would be… too selfish."

"Bruce, I'm literally begging you for it," you sighed, the irritated tone that you'd intended lost in the moans he elicited by rubbing your swollen clit.

"I know," he winced, "I know and it's killing me that I can't give you what you're asking for… I swear if it wasn't like this…" he trailed off as you looked up at him with your bottom lip between your teeth.

"What would it be like?" you asked lowly. "Tell me how you would fuck me."

For all his shyness before, there was a brief switch in his demeanor as he leaned in, breath hot against your neck as he whispered, two fingers sliding into your channel at the exact moment that he spoke.

"So fucking hard."

You whimpered, knees wobbling a bit as you tried to ride his fingers— but he wasn't pushing back, wasn't giving you enough force to balance against when you sought more friction. "P-please, Bruce— I know you want to, please, please baby I need it so bad…"

"I know," he breathed, free hand cradling your face as his thumb stroked your cheek, and it was so needlessly compassionate, so effortlessly soothing that your heart had no choice but to clench at his tenderness. Other parts of you clenched as well, in much more literal ways, but the heart thing was more important.

You gingerly reached forward and palmed his cock through his pants, moaning when you felt how hard it was. "You're desperate, too," you informed him with a little smile. "It hurts, doesn't it? It aches."

"Yes," he answered tensely.

"I'm hurting too. I'm aching, for you. Please, Bruce, help me."

As he pulled back and examined your face, he chewed his lip and contemplated. He couldn't stand to see you in pain, but he couldn't comprehend what he had to do to help you. Well, okay, that's not totally accurate because he had actually "comprehended" the idea of making love to you plenty of times. But that was just a fantasy, a very misguided one that he only indulged in in his weakest moments. And in those fantasies, shockingly enough, you were always completed lucid and of sound mind and body. He sadly could not say that for you at the moment, and of course he couldn't because of course when you were sober and healthy, you didn't see him that way.

Bruce prided himself on his logic, his integrity, his patience. Suddenly, those qualities were falling prey to a much deeper, carnal instinct that saw this not as a predicament but as an opportunity. Logic states, after all, that it would be wasteful to have everything he wanted thrown into his lap and to let it go to waste.

"Fuck," he groaned as he kissed you again, fucking you faster with his fingers. You moaned and went for his belt, barely managing to open it with your hands shaking so much; part of you had considered just trying to rip the leather off of him, and with the force of your need it seemed almost plausible.

Finally getting his trousers opened just enough to reach inside, you purred as you reached in and navigated past his boxers to wrap your fingers around his hard cock. It was so thick and smooth and hot and you almost wanted to drop to your knees and take it in your throat right then, but you had better plans.

He pulled his fingers out of you slowly, grinning against you at the way you whined, before wrapping his arms around you and quickly instructing you to jump.

It was infuriating, how easily he caught you when you wrapped your body around him. Infuriating and so painfully sexy.

He never broke the kiss as he walked the two of you to your lab table, sliding the papers aside and onto the floor to set you on it. You started on his aggravatingly-small shirt buttons while he pushed his trousers and boxers down the rest of the way, and god his cock was right there between your legs, so close but very much too far away for your liking.

You didn't have the time or energy to get his shirt off, settling for just running your hands over the exposed skin instead. He grinned and watched the path your hands made, hissing slightly when they wrapped around his shaft— for a second you swore you could feel it throb.

"Don't make me wait anymore," you whispered your plea, sighing a little when he nodded.

"Okay baby," he agreed.

"Been waiting so long," you whined.

"Me too," he nodded, and with a little push, his cock slid all the way into you and filles you to the brim. Even when you were completely drenched, the girth of him was so wide that it stung, that it tore you open, but you loved it. Your head fell back and just from him being inside you, you came. The substance had you so needy and sensitive that that was all it took. It wasn't enough yet, of course. You knew you needed more. But God, he felt so good you could hardly breathe.

"Baby," you heard Bruce gasp, his fingers digging into your hips. Your chest twisted when he laughed a little, breathless and just teetering on the line between complimentary and mocking. "Did you just come?"

You considered playing dumb, but nodded instead.

His smile was apparent when he pressed his lips just below your ear to suck on the delicate skin there, his teeth trailing up to nibble your earlobe lightly. You hoped he would leave a mark, you hoped he would leave lots of marks that you could remember this by for weeks to come.

"Couldn't help yourself, huh?" he asked breathlessly, whispering so quietly you could barely hear it over the beating of your own pulse which echoed in your ears.

"You feel so good," you justified, "so fucking good, Bruce."

"You too," he sighed as he finally pulled back and slid into you again, the friction making your back arch instantly. "Even better than I imagined."

You smiled and wrapped your legs around his hips, forcing him to push deeper with each thrust. When he pushed you to your limits it felt like you might just fall apart right there, but it was so worth it.

As if that wasn't enough, he reached down and circled a thumb over your overstimulated clit, grinning down at you at the sight of you writhing and bucking wildly in his arms.

"Fuck!" you cried as you tightened your hands on his shoulders into fists hard enough to risk tearing through his shirt.

"Too much?"

"More," you pleaded instead, crying out when he gave you exactly what you wanted with fast, rough thrusts into your drenched walls. "Yes," you sobbed, "yes, fuck— m'gonna come, Bruce, gonna come again."

"Go ahead," he encouraged, voice so much rougher than normal, "show me how good it feels, baby."

It felt like his words were the thin that pushed you over the edge, as if your body somehow both understood and obeyed his command. You could feel a renewed wave of slick leak out from you, enough that you could hear the wetness in each slap of his hips against yours. His name was somewhere in the litany of curses and praises that spilled from your lips, your mind too clouded with hazy pleasure to keep track of what you were actually saying.

"Just like that," he groaned, "doing so good, fuck, say my name just like that every time I make you come."

An easy enough stricture to follow, especially when it seemed like he was all you could think about. He looked so different with his clothes half-shorn and his eyes dark with lust. He hadn't taken his glasses or labcoat off and you weren't sure which of those you were happier about.

His lips and hands were all over you; you couldn't even keep track of everywhere he was touching you, that's how overwhelming it was. "God, you're so fucking perfect," he groaned against your skin, finding a hardened nipple as his tongue explored you and wrapping his lips around it. "You are so goddamn sexy, you know that? I love seeing you with your legs spread for me like a needy little whore. I love hearing you moan and knowing I'm the one making you feel this good."

He took a moment to look at you and soak in your shocked reaction to his words before leaning in to continue.

"I love feeling you come for me," he purred in your ear.

"Then you're gonna really like what I'm about to do," you shivered.

"Yeah? You can gimme another one already?" he smiled. "Such a good girl…"

You really couldn't help it, it felt like everything he did only enhanced your pleasure— his words, his hands all over you, not to even mention his cock inside you. As much as the hedonistic corner of your brain was happy to let this go on forever, the ramifications of constant orgasms were finally catching up with you as you wondered how much more of this you could take.

"F-fuck, are you close?" you asked weakly. "Want you to come for me, Bruce, please."

"I-I'll pull out," he suggested, although the way he looked down at his length sinking into you and pulling back out, covered in your abundant arousal, didn't exactly indicate that he was willing and able to actually make good on his offer.

"No!" you yelped, pulling him closer by his unbuttoned shirt. "It needs to be inside, Bruce, please come inside me."

"Fuck," he hissed through his teeth.

"Please, Bruce, please, promise you'll come inside."

"I will," he sighed, "fuck, I will baby, I promise I'm gonna fill you up so good, you're gonna have my come so fucking deep inside you…"

"Yes!" you moaned, completely unabashed as the unknown substance had apparently absolved you of any shame whatsoever. "Yes, I want it, Bruce, I want your come."

The moment you felt his seed start to paint your walls, you felt relief begin to wash over you. Your mind and body relaxed, the overwhelming heat under your skin subsiding into a comforting warmth, the desperation that had burned in your gut satiated at last.

And that left you staring up at him in realization of what you had done, just as he looked back at you with the same.

"God, I'm so sorry—" he shuddered, moving to pull away. Instinctively your legs wrapped around his hips again, holding him close.

"N-no, wait," you groaned, "it's okay. Don't go."

"You don't hate me," he said, the exhaustion in his tone making it hard to tell if it was a question or a statement.

"Never," you sighed with a weak smile, sitting up to clutch his face and kiss him again. "God, Bruce, now I'm just wondering what took us so long."

"Our lab safety is just too good, clearly," he smiled as he kissed you again, pulling back a little too soon to examine your face where he held it in his hands. "Are you okay? You should still probably go to a doctor…"

"I'm already with a doctor," you smirked, "and his treatment was very effective."

"Yeah, that was…" he trailed off, wide eyes as if he were reminiscing about what had only just transpired.

"Sorry for being so… desperate," you cringed. "I didn't mean to… um… impose…"

He just laughed and kissed your forehead, making you feel your cheeks warm a bit; ironic that with everything that had just happened, this was what made you blush. "A beautiful, amazing woman that I've been dreaming about for months begs me to take her in the laboratory… really inconvenient."

"I mean, cleaning up these papers and the broken glass is gonna be pretty tedious, along with the incident report," you frowned.

"I'll help you with it," he offered.

"Tomorrow," you decided. "Right now, I'm taking you to my place."

"Is that so?" he asked with a bemused smirk.

"Yep. We both are in serious need of a shower, and then I wanna go again," you grinned wickedly.

"I thought you said you weren't feeling the effects of the chemical anymore," he recalled, voice tinted with concern.

"I'm not," you reassured, "I'm just feeling the effects of you."

#bruce banner x reader #bruce banner x you #bruce banner smut #bruce banner x y/n

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