#when did living in a body i can tolerate become being afraid of any meals that arent on my list of 0.2 foods i can deal with??

[whsprings]

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#cw// ed #thinking abt. how i finally inched my way to the weight i have been wanting all this time #and its just in time for thanksgiving the infamous gorge yourself holiday #just in time for having to pretend like i eat three meals a day every day and dont mind having snacks at all whatsoever #just in time for my mom to look me over and ask if im doing okay with my 'therapy things' #like when did the cost of being okay with myself become my happiness and well-being?? #when did living in a body i can tolerate become being afraid of any meals that arent on my list of 0.2 foods i can deal with?? #when did a marginally smaller body become more important to me than living a full life?? #i saw the number on the scale and all i felt was this sense of doing something right. not joy not satisfaction not pleasure. #just 'okay. now do it again.' #theres a line in tbosas: i couldnt have killed them all for nothing #its the sunk cost fallacy. i couldnt have wasted all this time+money+effort just to end up my not as small(?) larger(?) self again #god i am so sad. and so angry.

[uvobreakmylegs]

Coffee Break

there’s a severe lack of Franklin x reader content and I wanted to try and fix that

Franklin sat at the back of the small cafe, almost tucked away behind an oddly-placed wall and out of view of the majority of the other patrons in the building. He was aware that the manager didn't like him due to how his appearance tended to make other people nervous, and that didn't at all fit with the inviting atmosphere the cafe was supposed to give off. So every time Franklin came in the hostess would take him to the small table in the back at the manager's instruction, in an attempt to hide him from other customers. Unwanted because he scared customers, but tolerated because he brought in money for the business. Franklin suspected that the instant he did anything to upset the manager further he would be promptly banned. But that didn't particularly matter to him; he didn't even like the food that they served.

The only reason he came to that cafe was because of you.

His first time entering the cafe had been an impulsive decision, just to see if it was any good. In general he didn't like going out to eat on his own. Among other nen users, he unusual, but among the non-nen using majority of the population he was a freak. And while he could hardly care of what others thought of him, the fearful reactions and the constant worried glances got old quick.

The reaction from the hostess had been stiff, and the dinner he ordered wasn't good at all. If anyone else had served him that evening, he wouldn't have come back.

But it had been you. Even hours after he had left he found his thoughts drifting to you.

Though you had done well to mask it, he could spot the surprise on your face when you laid eyes on him and took in his unusual appearance. But it had only been in that one moment, and after that you had taken on a professional retail smile as you greeted him and wrote down his order. Your body language indicated that you were comfortable with him, and you had even engaged in some light small talk, asking if it was his first time at the cafe. It was obvious that it was, but he just nodded, prompting you to thank him for visiting the cafe and expressing your hope that he would enjoy the food. When you'd checked on him in the middle of his meal he lied and said that the food tasted fine. And on handing him his check, you had told him that you hoped he would come again.

Anyone but you and he would have forgotten the place.

“Sorry for the wait, Franklin.”

Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see you approaching. You didn't bother pulling out your notepad after you placed a glass of water in front of him.

“Just the usual, or did you want something different today?”

“The usual,” he said, nodding.

“Alright. One coffee coming up.”

The only options on the cafe's menu that Franklin found he somewhat liked were only on their breakfast menu, and he suspected that was where the cafe found the majority of its business as that was always when it was busiest. But you didn't work mornings often, so when he went in during lunch hours he would order a single coffee. It only served to further annoy the manager with how little he was spending, but you didn't mind, greeting him just as warmly whenever he came in.

When he decided that he wanted you, he memorized your schedule and made an effort to go in two or three times a week. With the hostesses always placing him at that table in your section, he quickly became a regular customer of yours, and by now you knew him well enough to call him by name. Hearing his name coming from your lips was nice. He wished he could hear that more often. To talk to you outside of that cafe setting, for you to open yourself up to him completely and accept him.

If only that was something that could be done fast.

Franklin wasn't delusional. While he was infatuated, he was well aware that part of the way you treated him was just you doing your job and that you didn't have any sort of romantic feelings for him. He could tell that you at least found him interesting. You asked him questions in the brief chances that you had, asking him about his life: where he was from, what he did for a living, how he came to be in the area. Your desire to know more about him was an innocent one. He imagined that you had never encountered anyone quite like him in your life and your curiosity got the better of you. It was just a shame that almost all of his answers were lies; they had to be given the nature of his life as a criminal. At times it made him feel guilty that he gave you so few honest answers. But lying was his only option and he told himself that he would make it up to you later, when he had gotten closer.

As many of those small questions you asked, you were always careful to never bring up the scars on his face. Likely because you perceived that to be a sensitive subject, but it was also just as likely that you asking such a question would be grossly inappropriate. At this point Franklin could say that the two of  you had a thin friendship, but there was always a barrier that separated the two of you as 'customer' and 'worker', and as certain as he was that you did genuinely like him, it didn't go beyond that. That scenario of the two of you together, of you loving him, was a long way off.

It would have been easy to just take you. You didn't live with any family and seemed to keep to yourself outside of your work hours. There would be some news if you suddenly disappeared, but the sad truth was it wouldn't take all that long for you to become another missing person who vanished without a trace and inevitably forgotten by those who had known you. But the experience of being kidnapped would no doubt break you. You would fear him, and that was the one thing he didn't want. The last thing he wanted was for you to be afraid.

So for this, he would take his time and slowly reel you in. He wasn't always the most patient man, but he could be for the things that mattered, and slowly but surely he would break down the barrier between you two.

You set down a hot cup in front of him, along with a small bowl filled with coffee creamers.

“Anything interesting happening with your job?” you asked. It was a recent development that you skipped the formalities, not bothering to ask if he needed anything else since the answer was always 'no'.

“What did you say your job was again?”

“Security,” he answered.

“Ah! Right.”

“There's nothing interesting to speak of, I'm afraid,” Franklin continued, “work is the same as ever.”

You hummed.

“That can be nice, though,” you said, “nothing interesting means nothing bad happening, right? And that must be good for that line of work.”

“I suppose that's true,” he said, smiling at you. He then noticed your manager glaring from behind you.

“Your boss doesn't seem too happy,” he whispered.

��Ah!”

You moved quickly, giving him the standard customer service line of enjoying his drink before vanishing to the kitchen, your manager following after.

Franklin sat there with the coffee, the mug comically small in his hand, sipping the beverage slowly. The time he had with you was always too short, but that was to be expected. The setting didn't allow for any long or truly meaningful conversations. You were, after all, on the clock. At some point soon, he hoped he could go to that next step: of meeting you outside of your workplace and speaking with you freely, when there wouldn't be any sense of obligation on your part because he was a customer who knew where you worked. That you would trust him, and then he could work on getting closer.

Minutes passed. You had come back out and were doing other tasks, serving other customers. Franklin watched you from the corner of his eye. It wouldn't do if the other staff caught him blatantly staring at you and warned you about it. He had to be certain that he didn't do anything that could potentially put you off. His glances were brief, and you made your way through your section, unaware of the eyes on you and the thoughts that ran through his head. You were such a weak thing in this incredibly harsh world. So many like you died every day and you didn't even know it. There were so many ways you could have died before this point, from being eaten by some magical beast, getting killed by a rouge nen user, or just by being taken advantage of by a man with dark intentions.

Someone like himself.

That thought flew through his mind, and Franklin couldn't help but smirk. He was exactly the sort of man you should be avoiding: a wanted criminal followed by an endless trail of bodies of which he held no remorse for. But he intended on you remaining ignorant of that fact. He didn't want you to view him in such a light, so he would simply tread carefully and as time went on, he would wedge his way further into your life until you were his.

You came by with the check a short time later, placing the slip on the table as you collected the now empty cup. He thought once again of your boss, and decided to see what your reaction would be if he mentioned him.

“Your manager doesn't like me much, does he?” Franklin asked.

You paused.

“Ah, well....” you trailed off, glancing behind you as if your boss would magically appear at the sound of his name.

“Between you and me,” you whispered, leaning in closer, to which Franklin found himself leaning in as well.

“He's just an asshole. So don't pay attention to him.”

You straightened back up quickly, looking back behind you while Franklin chuckled.

“And don't tell him I said that,” you laughed, a light blush on your face.

“Never,” he replied.

You vanished once more into the kitchen while he paid the bill. It may not have meant much to you, but it was the most you had ever done to drop the customer service veil and speak with him like that, even if it was just about the worthless manager. It meant that you trusted him to a certain extent.

Franklin made his way out of the cafe, other patrons and servers stepping out of his path as he walked along, all looking anxious as he walked by. The typical reactions he was used to. Out on the sidewalk, he checked his phone for the time. Nobu wanted him to join in on a job, and since Uvogin was also going to be there, he didn't want to deal with a lecture on being late.

With one last glance through the cafe window, he hoped to see you before he left. And he did.

But what he didn't expect was to see you looking back at him.

You seemed caught as off-guard as he was, with you blinking in surprise as the two of you made eye contact. But then you smiled at him. A small, but genuine smile accompanied by a small wave of your hand. Franklin couldn't remember any time someone had looked at him so sweetly.

He waved back in response and watched as you quickly returned to your work.

This was good.

As Franklin began to make his way to his meeting point, his thoughts remained on you. That barrier was breaking faster than he expected.

#yandere hunter x hunter #franklin bordeau #hxh franklin #reader insert #yandere x reader #franklin x reader #yandere

[padawan-jiejie]

My Choice [3 / 3]

Summary: You are Anakin’s twin sister and Mace Windu’s apprentice with forbidden kind of interest in Master Kenobi. You’re there to witness your brother’s turn to the Dark side and have trouble dealing with the consequences. Five years later, you visit Obi-Wan on Tatooine…

PART 1   |   PART 2

Word Count: 5.8k

Pairing: Obi-Wan Kenobi x reader

Warnings: !MyEnglish!, ptsd talk, talk about regrets, angsty!reader, but also comforting!Obi and fluffy!Obi and baby!Luke + one more character has a cameo and overly fluffy ending  the reader is a bit of a crybaby in this one, sorry

A/N: THIS TOOK ME SO LONG - I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE!!! Also I haven’t read the comic about Obi-Wan and his time on Tatooine so… I just hope all of you are doing the best you can and enjoy 💖💖💖

Tagged:  @retrobhaddie​ @multi-madison​ @treestarrrrrrrr  @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13​ @lysawayne

Five long years since the tragedy of the Jedi. Since their failure and the purge. After all those years, here you were. Flying in your stolen ship, fleeing away from your inevitable destiny. You ran out of supplies and had to take a break, stop somewhere safe. You had a planet in mind, it was close and you were certain no one from the Empire would be looking for you there if you don’t stay for long. It was the hole of the universe after all. But somethin- no, someone was calling for you to land there. So you set the coordinations to Tatooine. You used your connection to the Force to find the perfect place to hide your ship nearest the pull you sensed. You shut down all systems and took a deep breath. For the first time in years, you would step into the harsh, dry and sandy grounds of the planet you were born on. It wasn’t your home for a long time and you felt bitter and nostalgic looking outside. Yet as you were sitting there in the cockpit, you saw a familiar cloak walking towards your position from behind a mountain. At that moment, all your worries and doubts faded like a mist.

You ran out as fast as you could and stayed staring at the figure few feet away from you. Your heart was beating quickly from the excitement and when he pulled his hood off and looked directly into your eyes, it definitely felt like coming back home.

“Y/N?”

“Obi-Wan…”

Your voices were nothing but a whisper. A whisper that told a million words and more. Obi-Wan Kenobi was standing there in front of you and it was like yesterday when you said your last goodbyes. And he was stunned. He came to the conclusion that it was very likely he would never see you again in his lifetime after Order 66. He never quite made his peace with that and couldn’t believe in what was happening. He thought he was hallucinating. There you were, in all your beauty and grace. Your y/h/c hair was messy, y/e/c eyes red from fatigue and your brown robes dusty. Even like that you still managed to look as elegant as always.

Kenobi took a hesitant step towards you, fearing that you might disappear any second. You didn’t. He took another step closer and you jumped into his arms.

“I’ve missed so much, Obi-Wan!” You blurted out as tears of joy started streaming down your face. You held onto him tightly and sobbed and cried your heart out. As he came to reality, he too embraced you and buried his face in your neck. It wasn’t just a dream. You were indeed here. In his arms. Right where you belong.

“Y/N… I am so happy you’re actually here. You can’t imagine how bad it was being alone like this!” He lifted you up and spun around before putting you back on your feet.

You dried your tears, while he was holding you close to him by your waist. “Master Jedi, I… You… Just… Me…” You spent hours thinking about all the things you wanted to talk about with him but now as you finally had the chance to express yourself, your own mouth was failing you. You could not even make up one proper sentence.

“I-I’m… Umm… It’s been so long.”

“I know, I was afraid I would never see you again. I’m so glad that will not be the case.” He said with a blissful expression. You smiled at him and he kissed your forehead, sending a warm feeling to rush through your body.

“Obi… I could sense you. With the Force, I sensed you. I think.”

“I sensed you too. That’s why I came. I thought I was losing my mind. What would you be doing here, right? But now I see that my senses have not abandoned me yet.”

“No, they are still pretty decent.”

“Oh, decent you say? Well, what are you doing here anyway? I guess you’re not just stopping by to say hello to an old friend.”

“Actually, I ran out of supplies so I need to get some food and stuff. And I think I need to check this beauty for any damage.”

Obi-Wan frowned and touched his beard. “That is not the ship Bail Organa had given you. What happened to it and how did you get this one? It looks ancient.”

“Yeah, you really don’t wanna know how I got that. Maybe I’ll tell you later but it’s a long story that I don’t wanna get into right now.”

“If you think that would be for the best, I’ll leave it be. But come on. We’ll go to my little house and I’ll get you something to eat.”

“That would be so nice! I am starving! Um, but I shouldn’t leave her here unguarded.”

“Don’t worry about it. Nothing will happen to it. Trust me. And if anything does happen, I have my methods of getting it back.”

“Alright then. But um, I actually call her Soka. Because of the blue and white stripe there on the side.” Obi-Wan paused for a second, then smiled. With one of his arms around your shoulders, you two walked over to the house that he was apparently now living in. The place looked poor and you couldn’t help but think about the Jedi quarters you spent half your life in.

“That’s a whole another level, Kenobi. Even for you.”

“There wasn’t really much to be picking from.”

“Sorry.”

“That’s okay. I’ll get you some soup.”

You sat down near a tiny window and pulled your legs to your chest. The heat reminded you of your childhood. How you used to help your mom with cleaning, cooking and then would go to play with Anakin and the other local children. Looking back at it now, you could tell that as much as it sucked, those were good times. Just you, your mamma and your big brother Ani. You signed at the thought, pictures from the past running through your head. Padmé, the handmaidens, Qui-Gon and young Obi-Wan with his cute padawan braid. He certainly did not enjoy it when you hopped next to him and started playing with it, asking him questions why is he letting grow only so small piece of his hair. A sad smiled appeared on your lips as you remembered the moment you met. He didn’t really believe in neither you or Ani and none of you could see how important you would become for each other. What a wonderful team you would make in the future. It wasn’t fair that it all fell apart out of nowhere.

“Here you go,” Obi-Wan said, holding out a bowl of soup, waking you up from your trance.

“Thank you.”

After you finished your meal and your stomach felt better and you and Obi-Wan were sitting next to each other, both trying to get a grasp of this situation. You haven’t seen each other in 5 years and it didn’t look like you accomplished much. Quite the opposite. Former Jedi Master looked dragged from his current life, you could see the wrinkles forming on his face. He looked a lot older now. For you, it was your eyes. Obi-Wan remembered how they would always light up whenever you had some crazy idea or simply when you were happy and oh, how he loved your smile! Your eyes had a sparkle in them whenever you smiled or laughed. Now? Your eyes felt cold, tired and filled with sorrow. As if you’ve grown tougher during the time of your separation. He pointed that out.

“That’s because I had to grow up. Suddenly I had no one to look after me and as you know my entire life I had someone by my side. Whether that be my mom, my brother or my master or… Padmé or you. Life had been hard on me, Obi. That’s just how it is. In my core, I feel the same but on the outside, I lost a lot of my faith. But don’t play it on me. You’re damaged too.”

“I am not denying that.”

“Speaking of which, how do you like living on Tatooine?”

He laughed. “Like isn’t the word I would use. More like tolerate. But as you can see, I manage. Nobody’s visiting but sometimes I go to check up on Luke - much to your step-brother’s distaste when he notices me.”

Obi-Wan would swear on the Force that as he mentions Luke’s name, for a split second your eyes filled with that spark he thought you lost. Maybe you weren’t that doomed after all.

“Luke? My nephew? How is he? Is he tall already? I mean, I know, he’s 5 but is he okay? Are they taking good care of him?”

“Not to worry, milady. They are maybe too protective of him but he’s not actually lacking anything. He’s in good hands.”

“What does he look like? Does he have brown hair like Padmé or is he blonde?”

Obi-Wan was amused by your interest in your nephew. He knew you would ask him about Luke but he didn’t realise how eager you would be to find out more about him. “As far as I am concerned, he is blonde. He’s just like his father with blue eyes and I am sure he’s going to be an excellent pilot. Not like someone.” He gave you a side-glace and you looked at him in disbelieve. Is he really challenging me like this?

“Of course! Make fun of my flying skills! You know, I got better since the Clone Wars and I no longer crash-land as you could see back there.”

“I am never going to forget the moment when you almost killed us while landing and Anakin turned at me and said: ‘See, master? And you complain about my flying!’ I will always remember the face you made! And you didn’t want to talk to us the entire day.”

“You two totally deserved it! Don’t try to sugar-code it!”

“Silent treatment never resolved anything, Y/N. Besides, you could have us all killed.”

“No, we are not going down that road. I did save you so shut it, Jedi! I too have some tricks up my sleeve - you are not as perfect as you think you are.”

“Oh is that so? I thought I was being completely irresistible!”

Your body unintentionally reacted with a flush on your cheeks to his statement. Mostly because it was absolutely true and thanks to the fact that you ran out of ideas of how to out-sass him, you just proclaimed: “Okay, I give up.”

“And what were you doing this whole time? I suppose, you still don’t want to tell me the story behind the ship.”

“Well, no. But I was mostly just moving around the Outer Rim. Nothing too special. I wanted to stay off the radar for as long as possible and I think I was quite good at it. You know, putting my stealth-mastery into practice once again. You wouldn’t be proud of me though. I tried to be true to what I was taught since I was nine. To be a good person and to protect peace in the places I went to and I tried to suppress my emotions about all this but… I couldn’t do that. I thought that the Republic were the good guys and I thought that the Jedi, although not exactly always right, were too the good guys. We had each other’s back and now all of that is gone and call me stupid or naive for having hart time adjusting to that. Sometimes it just gets too rough and too much to take, knowing that all of what I was fighting for tumbled down… I’m sorry, it’s just been getting to me lately.”

Obi-Wan put a hand on your shoulder. “I understand. It wasn’t easy for neither of us but it was worse for you. I know how miserable you were when Yoda told you that you should stay out of Luke and Leia’s lives.”

“That’s not the only thing that’s bothering me.”

“What is it then? I am here, you can talk to me about anything. I might not have the solution but I am listening. If that’s enough?”

You were tense. How would you tell him this? How were you supposed to say it out loud? You could still see it in front of your eyes and it was haunting you in your dreams. Never in a million years would you thought that this would happen. After all that you’ve been through you thought he knew better and a part of you still felt like he didn’t deserve it. You closed your eyes to calm yourself down.

You swallowed. “Have you felt… something? Even if it was just in the back of your head…Do you know anything about Anakin?”

Now Obi-Wan knew what you meant. His hand rubbed your back as he sighed. He heard about him a couple of weeks ago. Anger, sadness and helplessness were boiling inside him. He thought Anakin died on Mustafar and when he overheard that Darth Vader was actually causing some problems out there in the Galaxy, he was horrified.

“I found out some time ago. I couldn’t believe it.”

You bit on your lip to stop the sobs coming out from your throat. Salty water blurred your vision. Your heart was aching. You somehow always felt that he wasn’t killed, the feeling of your brother was still present but to learn that he is now a huge threat in the galaxy was not only shocking but also tragic and traumatizing. You blinked and teardrops fell down. You quickly brushed them away and took three deeps breaths.

“Forgive me my sentiment but… It’s hard to deal with that because I remember all those times during the Clone Wars and despite the fact that it was a war, it was actually… Some of the best time of my life. We lost our friends, we were shaken and not once and we risked our lives for a better cause and we were heroes thanks to that but we… We had each other. Me, Anakin, Padmé and you. Even Ahsoka and Rex and Cody! It felt like a family. Yeah, a very dysfunctional family but… It was something to let you know where you belong… Where home is. If I wasn’t on a mission with Ani and Snips, I’d be with Padmé or you, just having the time of my life. It wasn’t perfect but if I knew what was to come, I would certainly more appreciate it then! Now I just…” You covered your face in your palms, crying. “I wish I could just forget that this is happening.” Echoed your voice from behind your hands.

Kenobi felt your despair and pulled you into him, letting you cry your feelings out while holding you in his arms. He himself didn’t exactly process the events yet, but he knew that you needed his support right now much more than he needed yours. He waited for you for five long years and he was ready to wait for next 50 if it meant he could see you one more time. Now he didn’t want to make your issues seem smaller because he felt betrayed too. He wanted to help you get through this so he kept on rocking you back and forward until you looked up. He caressed your cheek and lightly kissed your forehead. He was well aware of what your supposed family meant for you so he decided to let you feel like you still have at least a part of it. Because you do. Dispite his Jedi teaching, he would never let you go.

“Tomorrow I’m going to take you to see Luke. Owen will probably throw us out but if it is going to help you, I’ll take you there.”

“Thank you, Obi-Wan. Thank you so much.”

“Don’t mention it, Y/N.”

You melted into his embrace and listened to his heartbeat. He was a soothing presence to you. He’s always been. After getting over your depressive emotions, you found a warm feeling creeping up from inside you. You buried it deep down so it wouldn’t bring you pain while you and Obi were apart. As you were so close there, it was coming back up to the surface. This time, though, there was no Code, no Jedi Council, no forbidden attachments to make you feel wrong about what you felt. Obi-Wan sensed this change in mood and smiled to himself. He felt it coming back too.

After you both showered - separately, may I add, we’re not there yet - and changed into more comfortable clothes, you decided to go to sleep. He insisted you keep the bed to which you replied: “Obi-Wan, there’s no way you’re sleeping on the floor and I want to feel like I am not alone in here so just… Are you up for cuddles? Please? I need my cuddling buddy back.”

He just shook his head in amusement and didn’t say anything. He couldn’t reject you at this point. Not to mention that when you were together on missions to deal with some Jedi business with no one around, snuggles were on a daily basis. Although I must say, there was one time when Anakin appeared out of the blue, saw you two getting way too close for friends and wouldn’t shut up about it for a week. It was kind of cue though.

Obi-Wan tugged himself under the sheets next to you on his not-so-comfortable bed and lay on his back. You put your arm around him and placed your head on his chest. His heartbeat was steady and calming. Even though you were tired, you couldn’t close your eyes to fall asleep. You had to wonder what is Luke like and what will you feel when you see him. You held him once when he was born and couldn’t help but wonder if he is Force-sensitive too. It would be only logical.

“Obi-Wan?”

“Umhm…”

“Do you think that Luke and Leia should be raised to be Jedi?”

“Well, I hope so. I don’t know about Leia but Luke is so much like Anakin when he was a child, it would surprise me if he wouldn’t grow up to be one.”

“Who’s going to show him?”

“I am. If you’ll stay, you can help.”

You tighten your grip around him. “I don’t know. The problem is that I and Ani had such a bond through the Force and I still feel him and I fear that if I stay here, he may be able to find me.”

“Why would he come back to the planet that represents everything he despises? Slavery, his mother’s death, sand.”

“I know but he had the chance to kill me before as a Vader and he didn’t. What if the Sith have some plans with me? What if they want me to turn to the Dark side?”

“I highly doubt that would happen.” He protectively put his arms around you. “Mace Windu taught you about the Dark side and when they could turn you to it completely, they had no interest in doing that. Why would they suddenly change their minds?”

“I don’t know. I guess you’re right but the possibility of hurting you or Luke is making me go nuts.”

“I understand that but again, Anakin knew that even with your knowledge of the Force and with our feelings for each other being strictly against the Code, you stayed loyal to the Order. Even now when things are so uncivilized, you still decided not to turn, that shows your strength and even if Vader senses you, he will see that.”

“You mean he would rather kill me than try to turn me? Yeah, cool, can’t wait.”

“You know what I meant. You don’t need to worry about him. If he comes, which he won’t, he’ll have to get over me first, anyway.” He kissed your hair and whispered: “Good night, my love.”

You spent so much time in space and on cold planets that now walking around the sands of Tatooine was an absolute horror. You were sweating and thirsty and the two suns high on the sky were blinding your vision. You and Obi were on your way to Owen and Beru’s moisture farm. You never saw or met them but Ani told you about them. He blamed them a little bit for not searching for Shmi and you couldn’t help but feel the same. You were sure they were good people but at the same time maybe if they did something more, your mom would be still alive. You knew these thoughts were not the Jedi way but let’s face it, you and your brother were never the perfect examples of the Jedi.

Obi-Wan stopped and pointed into the distance where you could see a small dot on the horizon.

“That is where they live but maybe you should go on your own. Owen isn’t really fond of me and if you arrive alone and say that you are his step-sister, he’s probably gonna let you in. I’ll wait for you somewhere here.”

“Okay. Thank you, Obi-Wan. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome but umm, I changed my name.”

“You changed your name? To what?”

“I call myself Ben Kenobi now.”

You sighed. “Satine used to call you that.”

He just nodded and you smiled at him. She meant so much for him when they were young that you understood why he did that. He wanted to pay her some tribute. Besides, you would have done the same if you were at his place.

“Well, Ben, wish me luck.”

He squizzed your hand and started to walk away. You swallowed and walked the other way, towards your distant family house. You were nervous and excited at the same time. You desperately wanted to meet Luke but you didn’t know what would Owen and Beru think about you being there. As you almost reached your destination, a sight in front of you made you stop in your tracks. There was a little blonde boy sitting in sand playing with some droid parts. He didn’t seem to notice you so you stood there amazed. He looked exactly like his father. You felt tears of happiness mixed with nostalgia burn in your eyes. You covered your mouth as Luke’s toy fell apart and he mumbled under his breath. You sniffed and made your way to where he was sat.

Luke turned around startled. “Hello. Who are you?”

“Hi…” you whispered, gaining strength to speak more. “Umm, you’re Luke Skywalker, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am. But I asked you first.” He made a grimace of childish anger and you had to smile. You dropped to his level and held out your hand. “My name is Y/N Skywalker.”

His expression changed. Obviously he knew that name and kept on wandering his eyes between your hand and your face. 

“You are my dad’s sister?”

You nodded.

“Uncle and aunt told me about you. They said you would never come.” He took your hand and held onto it.

“I am sorry. For everything. I am so sorry, Luke. You were supposed to live with your parents somewhere else and enjoying your life very differently.”

“I like it here.” He was genuine but you knew that one day this place would be too tiny for him.

“Okay.” You stroke his cheek and you sensed the Force in him but he pulled away.

“I shouldn’t talk to strangers.”

That hurt. You were a stranger. He didn’t know you and even if you loved your nephew so much, this was the first time he saw you.

“That’s right, you shouldn’t. I hope that one day I won’t be a stranger to you anymore but for now… It was lovely to meet you, Luke.”

“Sure. It was lovely to meet you too, umm…Should I call aunt Y/N?”

“That’d be great.”

“What would be great?” 

Both your heads shot up as you heard a voice. There was a man with scruffy in grey robes and he looked mad.

“Luke, come here.”

“It’s okay, uncle. This is Y/N. She’s my dad’s sister. You told me about her.”

You stood up and Owen frowned at you. He shook your hand, though he was suspicious.

“Luke is telling the truth. I am Anakin Skywalker’s sister and just came to say hello. I never had a chance to properly meet him and I stopped by and I couldn’t go without meeting my nephew. You too. From what I understand, you are my step-brother. Thank you for taking care of the boy.”

Owen crossed his arms over his chest. “Kenobi told you where to find us?”

“Is that a problem?”

“No. I’m glad that we finally met but I don’t want your Jedi stuff anywhere near Luke. His parents had life bad enough and I don’t want him to get hurt like they and you did.”

You blinked confused. You sensed Luke’s connection to the Force and you knew he would become aware of it sooner or later. “We got burned. Many times, I admit but neither Ben Kenobi nor I mean any harm to him or to you.”

“I believe you. On the other hand, why add insult to injury?”

A sandstorm was raging outside. You were supposed to be on your way by now but something always came into it, making it impossible for you to leave the planet. You’ve been living with Obi-Wan for 9 days now and as much as you were scared something unfortunate was going to happen because of your sibling bond, you couldn’t deny how your mood improved over time. You finally had a moment to breathe, to live, to drop the worries because when he was around simply being himself, it was so easy to forget the reality. It would come back to hit you later but when he was telling you stories, he heard in the Mos Eisley Cantina and you two would laugh, it didn’t matter. When you two cooked and tried to combine both of your (anti)talents, sometimes it resulted in friendly arguments and spilt tea. At night, you would fall asleep in each other’s arms only to wake up to the warmth of the body next to you and the calming feeling of safety. If there would be anyone to witness it, they’d say they’re watching a married couple doing normal things. It felt right being there, being like that, although it was a bit strange at first. It made you feel wanted, welcomed and loved. It gave you a sense of much-needed belonging. Little did you know that Obi-Wan felt the same.

It was already late at night but you couldn’t sleep and the sandstrom made you feel uncomfortable. It had been 15 years since the last time you experienced one and you didn’t like remembering it. It brought up old fears to the surface. Lucky for you, though, former Jedi Master managed to stay up as well to keep you company.

“Will you finally tell me where did you get the ship?”

You smirked. “From a friend.”

“A friend? What friend?”

“Don’t be jealous.”

“I am not! I am just… curious.”

You turned to sit on the bed face to face with him. “We’re not the only survivors of the Purge. There are more Jedi in the galaxy.”

“I knew we couldn’t be the only ones!” His eyes filled with hope.

“I met a guy called Kal Cestis. He was a padawan when it happened. He helped me to get my new ship. Not exactly new but better than nothing since my original one broke down.”

“Hmm… Interesting. Do you know anything about Ahsoka?”

“Unfortunately no. I haven’t seen her anywhere. Not that I’ve been to many places but if she’s alive, she’s hidden well.”

“I don’t think she gave up like that. She must be somewhere out there.”

“I really hope that she is. I miss her.”

“We both do,” Obi replied and caressed your cheek. You leaned into his touch and closed your eyes. It was an intimate moment that you decided to delve into.

Obi-Wan was watching you, trying to print this image in his memory. He never wanted to forget you and the way you made him feel. It was precious and sacred to him. You were captivating, graceful and he was thanking the Force every day for bringing you back into his miserable life. He didn’t deserve you and yet he never wanted to let go off you. He couldn’t. He knew it was selfish of him to want you all for himself but he was too attached.

“Y/N?”

“Um?” You opened your eyes to look into his. You were cantured by his intense gaze and your lips parted. You weren’t used to him staring at you like that as if you were the most devine creature in the galaxy and your cheeks turned the deepest shade of pink.

“Can I kiss you?”

Your stomach flipped and your held your breath for a second. You blinked several times before placing your hand over his, still resting on your cheek. “Yes.” was a simple word but there was so much more behind it.

Obi-Wan lowered his head to your level and cupped your face to pull you to him. You couldn’t believe it. After so many years of loving this man and having to hide it, you were able to finally express it. You waited for him to softly press his lips to yours. It was sweet, slow and filled with so much emotion. All of the unsaid ‘I love you’s, all of the suppressed feelings, all of it finally blossemed into this special moment. Electricity ran through both of you at the slight touch. It was new and you couldn’t quite put a finger on this feeling inside you. It was your first kiss after all! Obi-Wan was your first crush, first love, now first kiss and most definitelly he was going to be your first also in another way.

He pulled away to see your reactions but you didn’t let him. Your hands shifted to his neck and brought him back to you. He started kissing you properly this time and let himself loose. Deepening the kiss, he found himself hovering over you and soon you were lying under him. You both laughed as your back hit the bed. He kissed you one more time and lay down onto his side next to you. You stared in his eyes that reflected all the kindness in the world.

“Y/N, I know where you stand, I know Master Yoda told you to stay away from Luke and Leia and I know that you’re afraid what would happen if you stay here longer but please. We’ll figure it out somehow… I love you, Y/N. I have for years now.” He brushed your hair out of your forehead and played with it for a while. “I can’t let you go after this. I won’t. I wanted to be with you for so long and now that we are finally allowed to be ourselves freely, I am begging not to go. Please.” 

“I have already made up my mind and I am not backing up.”

He kissed the tip of your nose to shut you and took your hand in his. “Yes. It is up to you in the end. I can’t make decisions for you, I know. I don’t want you to go but the last thing that I do want is to be forcing you into something. Even if you'll leave… I promise that I will wait for you. I have waited ages, I can wait a little longer. I’d really rather not but you are worth it, stars.”

“Obi-Wan…”

He smiled sadly and it broke your heart. He was giving you freedom even when he was lonely. He was fully aware of your stubborness but this time you gave in.

“You are the love of my life. You’ve always been. I have loved you so much all this time and I always will. I want to stay but I am too scared that something’s gonna happen to you or to Luke so I… I thought about it and…” You squeezed his hand. “I decided to cut myself of from the Force so that I could have a life with you.”

“What?!”

“I have made my peace with it. I am like a beacon to Vader if he decides to search for me, this is the only way I can have what I want. You.”

Obi was staring in disbelief. You just decided what your faith was going to be and Obi-Wan was the happiest man alive. He was shooked at first but soon happiness and pure joy took over him and he hugged you, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. You pulled him even closer to you as you let the sandstorm outside be completelly forgotten. 

It’s been about a week since you and Obi were living officially together in your new home. It wasn’t ideal nor perfect but hey! What is in this galaxy, right?

You were walking hand-in-hand from a town where you successfully sold your ship, Soka. It was a little sad since she reminded you of your adveture with Kal and of your friend Snips but at the same time, you were most likely never going to need her again. Hopefully.

The two suns were shinning bright, tanning your skin. The course and rough sand was cracking underneath your weight as you walked. The dry air made you thirsty and at some point you couldn’t help but cough. You two were wandering around the place without putting much thought into it and before you knew it, you pauzed.

“Won’t we reach the spot were you first landed on Tatooine if you continue walking that way?”

“I think we will.”

“So this is where it all started. The Skywalker’s journey straight to the botom!”

“Not straight.”

You gave him a you-know-what-I-mean look.

“I’m just teasing. Sorry, Y/N.”

“You always are, I don’t mind but... Actually, you know what? I think I want to change my name too.”

“What? Why? Your name is so lovely!”

“Because it is my choice, not yours, mine. I guess I want to asociate myself with something different. I want to disconnect from my past and focus on the future. Luke’s gonna carry on the Skywalker legacy. It wouldn’t fair if no one carried on yours. Besides, Y/N Kenobi sounds pretty great, doesn’t it?”

Obi-Wan was staring at you with open mouth. “You want to take my last name?”

You put your arms around his shoulders. “I do. I mean, you’re not getting married but still you can take this as a sign of my devotion. I truly, deeply love you and I want to be all yours - body, soul, even the surname.”

He didn’t know exactly how to react to that, so he just crashed his lips onto yours. He was astonished. “I love you so much, my sweet Y/N. You are the greatest thing that happened to me. Although not the name, I am yours too. Body and soul.”

You pulled him into a tight embrace. People passing you by were giving you strange looks but it’s not like any of you cared. You simply stayed in the moment, forgetting all your worries. It was a promising day for you two, after all. Promising for your relationship but most importantly it meant a new start. It was an enterance to a brighter state of existance and a new stage in life. A stage where you could finally be a little selfish and build a life for yourselves. A life where your and Obi’s love, was the only thing that mattered.

#obi-wan x reader #star wars #fanfic #fluff #ewan mcgregor #kenobi #prequels #obi-wan kenobi #obi-wan fanfiction #obi-wan x you #star wars x reader #star wars x y/n #obi-wan x y/n #ewan mcgregor x reader #ewan mcgregor x you #ewan mcgregor x y/n #luke skywalker #kal cestis #reader insert fanfiction #ptsd talk #part 3 of 3 #angst turns into fluff #no more jedi #this took me so long to write #corona sucks #so stay home #stay safe yall

[sakuraalexia]

Some Maya headcanons of mine

Since I had nothing to do and I wanted to keep track of my headcanons and things for my own stories, here’s a rather long list of headcanons and small things of mine about Maya, and how I like to write her. This is personal interpretation, but do feel free to add up ir take inspiration from them, I don’t mind.

She lived in the monastery with the monks and before running away then returning from Pandora to Athenas, she didn’t know much of how her planet looked at all, because she had been confined in the abbey all the time and not allowed out.

The Order took her away from her parents when she was still a little baby, and her parents were killed. However she had never been directly told what happened to them, she just assumed they were dead after she discovered what the true face of the Order was about.

She thought of Brother Sophis as a surrogate father when she was younger, as he was her main handler and he was the one interacting with her the most. However it was all a facade from him to get her trust.

Always Brother Sophis had a rather violent temper, and when Maya got older and started showing powers, he would take his anger up on her disguising it as training, purposefully beating her up whenever he felt like it, or when she disobeyed him. He had claimed those as training to boost Maya’s “pain tolerance”, they became more rare as Maya grew up, as he was afraid she’d find out and rebel against him.

Because of those sorts of “trainings” Maya has a rather large number of scars littering her body, they are however covered from her clothing most of the time, or hidden under her Siren markings. She absolutely hates to show them to anybody, as she is deeply ashamed by them, even though she knows it wasn’t her fault for believing in Sophis’ words as a young and naive child.

She despises the type of training she was brought upon that, when she meets Ava, she is the sole responsible to train her, making sure to never push nor hurt her in any way, as she doesn’t want her to fall victim of the Order like she had been.

She’s incredibly protective of Ava whenever other monks are around her, even though she knows not all of them are bad, she doesn’t trust them after what they did to her in her younger years.

Maya didn’t know a lot of things when she came to Pandora, that’s because she was never allowed to do them herself before, nor she had ever been taught such things. Such as driving a car or making herself a proper meal.

About driving, she is a rather bad driver, she had to learn mostly from Axton and Zer0, and she was surprised that even Gaige knew something about the topic and she didn’t, as her father had started giving her lessons before she had to run away from Eden 5. So she lets the boys drive most of the time, she does it only if she can’t help it.

She is an awful drinker, she can’t hold alcohol almost at all, the really mild stuff of the abbey didn’t help in raising her tolerance. She becomes a giggly mess before inevitably ending up sick.

Maya doesn’t know how to express feelings very well, as the Order always hindered her ability to do so, they had told her that as a Siren she didn’t need useless emotions, and that she needed to control them if she wanted to control her powers. 

She was also a complete stranger to things such as friendship and displays of affection, both given and received, and her being a Siren also didn’t help, as it made her much more wary of other people. She used to not like being touched, and even flinch away entirely at first, but she eventually learned to trust her fellow Vault Hunters and adjusted, ending up even craving friendly contact at times. She won’t admit it, but she knows how touch-starved she truly is.

Maya didn’t know what music outside of sacred chants was, it was Gaige that made her listen to some at first, and she became fond of it. However, she discovered herself to be a pretty good singer, as she has a very nice voice, to which Krieg is particularly a fan of, the others too, but him the most.

On top of it, she can play the piano, she learned at the abbey, but she didn’t really have a reason to play it until she met the rest. They’d make her listen to songs for her to redo on the piano of Moxxi’s bar, as she only knows sacred music, and occasionally having her sing or even sing all together. 

Maya loves reading not only because she is a curious person, but also because it was pretty much her only past time in the abbey and it stuck to her.

She is not interested in the idea of romance nor even in sexual things, living in an abbey doesn’t give you a chance to experience much of either thing, she was pretty much forbidden to even mention them from Brother Sophis. So, by the end of it, she is no more interested in either thing, she knows what they are yet she very much prefers sharing a hug with a friend than anything else.

She’s lowkey really proud of her powers, even if they brought her a lot of problems. However she prefers to not show off much and would rather act like a normal person, since she hasn’t really had occasion to be nor to be treated as such before coming to Pandora.

She not only can use her powers of Siren, but she has also been trained to fight hand to hand. And when Axton challenges to a duel, mocking her, he ends up with his face on the ground eating dust, while the rest laughed at his misery.

He did however teach her how to swim, another thing the monks didn’t teach her, after he had pushed her into the waters in the rivers of the Highlands as a joke, and she almost drowned because of it. He taught her not only because it would be useful, but also because he felt guilty about it.

Maya had no healing powers when she was on Athenas, they had manifested after a mission had gone particularly awry, even though they got out of it alive and successful, but badly hurt. They showed up out of Maya’s own fear to lose her only friends.

She however can’t use such powers on herself to heal her own wounds, she has to do so the normal way.

She hates using Eridium too, after seeing what it had done to Angel, and after seeing Lilith almost falling victim to it too, she swore to not use it unless it was strictly necessary.

Eridium also used to hurt her at the beginning, unlike Lilith, she’d get sick if she tried to use it, ending up with a raging fever, aches and nausea for days. Until her body either managed to fully absorb the substance or it would manage to throw it back out. With time and a lot of attempts, her body eventually adjusted and she no more has these effects, however, absorbing it still causes her to feel some pain and aches for a little still today.

Maya despises the Children of the Vault, and cults in general, as one that has been worshiped for the wrong reasons almost her entire life, she knows better than anyone that such things are only a plain lie.

But she despises the Calypsos’ cult the most, as the leaders only give Sirens a bad name for being the crazy murderers they are, and making their race look like nothing else but that.

Always on the topic of cults and followers, she had scolded Lilith back then when she had her own little thing, and then much later on Amara too, for taking pride in it. And made them aware of the dangers that lurk beneath the adoration of other people, so they may not fall into a trap like her.

Having had no friends nor people that truly loved her before, Maya is very afraid of losing them, which is why she tends to ignore her own wounds to check the others and make sure they are okay first.

Maya is very secretive and also rather ashamed of her past, that she hadn’t told anyone much of it. She’d rather take other people’s problems on her shoulders than share her own, she only does if it becomes too much for her to handle alone, only in that case she’d seek out someone for comfort.

#borderlands #maya the siren #headcanons #random stuff

[mercurymetals]

someone to feed, someone to bleed

I admit, I planned to work through the requests in order, but when I saw this ask I just had to sit down and write it. That's some yummy ideas you've got there, anon. Took some liberties, but hope you enjoy.

Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence and death. Lots of blood. Power play dynamics. Borderline psychological horror. Actually, probably straight up horror as well. Have fun!

Blood. The smell of it is thick, almost oppressive as it fills your nostrils. You never thought you'd call this process familiar, and yet that's exactly what it has become to you. Ordinary. Routinely, even.

The heavy tang of iron, pools of red blooming beneath you, exposed flesh and torn up arteries - these things should scare you. They should horrify you.

And they did, once.

The first time these very sights and smells penetrated your senses, the shock was enough to nearly make you faint. Your knees gave out under you and you crumbled down to the ground. Nausea and helpless panic overwhelmed your senses, causing your whole body to shake violently. You gasped in breath after uneven breath, each punctuated by a pathetic whimper at the back of your throat.

You don't know why you were chosen. You don't know what about that display could have intrigued him. You don't know why he cut down everyone that night except for you.

All you remember after the massacre is the way he lifted your chin with the tip of his blade, forcing you to look up at him. There was a sadistic glint in his eyes as he watched you, and even then you could tell each of your cries and quivers pleased him. He smiled slowly, his tongue darting out to lick at his lips.

"Yes. You'll do," he had said, and thus your fate was decided.

It took you weeks, to get used to your new duties. You wanted to refuse his demands, but fear compelled you to obey.

Your first kill left you changed. To this day, you are convinced it hurt you more than it hurt your victim. As the days passed, vivid images of faces twisted in agony burned themselves into your mind. When you managed to fall asleep, you'd get nightmares, and when you woke up in a cold sweat, they wouldn't leave you. Memories flashed before your eyes minute by slow minute, demanding your attention. Demanding you answer for your crimes.

But that was then. You have surpassed that version of yourself.

Now, you grip the blade steadily, watching with trained patience while the woman before you writhes, her hands desperately clawing at the mask on her face. You hear her shriek out pleas, but the words don't even register in your mind. She groans as the tendrils dig deep into her brain, her struggles growing weaker, until finally she lays still on the floor of the chamber.

You carefully remove the mask, placing it back on its pedestal with a performative reverence, and then go back to watching her. You know the process can take anywhere from a few seconds to a minute, and this is the most dangerous part of your task. But if you time things right, everything should proceed smoothly.

Priest. That is your title. The one and only high priest, ordained with the honour to serve a god among men, a life form so far evolved your petty human brain could never hope to comprehend it. Yet you know your hands are soaked with death, your heart speaks only of sin, and repentance is not a relief you can grant to anyone, least of all yourself.

You've come to terms with that, though. You've come to accept that the only thing that matters in your life any more is servitude.

You must have been chosen for a reason, after all. There must be something special about you. You are not like the humans whose lives you assist in taking. You are more than just a meal waiting to happen. And you are helping them, too. By continuing to do this dreadful job, you're sparing someone else from having to do it in your place. That has to count for something, doesn't it?

But as the seconds tick by, the woman remains perfectly still. You frown, and wait, and wait, and she does not stir.

Have you done something wrong? You're sure you saw those tendrils pierce her head. Should you keep waiting? No, out of the question. You feel your master's expectant gaze on your back, and you know you don't have the luxury of making him wait any longer. You crouch down and reach out to check the victim's pulse, wondering if you took the mask off too early.

And that's exactly when she strikes. With an inhuman screech she throws herself at you, slamming you to the ground. You feel her clawed fingers dig into the skin of your bared arms. You thrust your knife towards her, but she easily slaps your hand aside, knocking it out of your grasp.

She opens her mouth wide, her fangs ready to tear your face open--

You hear a scream, but it's not your own. Her weight vanishes off you, and a sick crunch resounds in the chamber. You sit up in time to see her crumple to the ground beside you once more. Kars, your master, is standing over the two of you, but your eyes remain glued to the woman.

Part of her torso and abdomen are missing, her flesh and insides melting off her like liquid. She spasms violently on the floor of the chamber, her body buckling as if overcome by a seizure. You've seen so many horrors play out before your eyes, but still you grimace in disgust. You know well that Kars could have easily finished her in one strike, but he chose not to, and now you are forced to watch her die a slow death for a second time.

This time when she grows still, you are certain she is done for. But it's not until the harrowing scene comes to an end that the gravity of the situation hits you.

You've never messed up on this scale before. When you first started out, you were expected to learn fast, and even then Kars had hardly been tolerant of even the smallest mistakes. He made you do things over and over until you got them right, your abhorrent duties a punishment of their own right.

But now... You don't even know how you could possibly salvage this. The silence between you and your master is stark, and it's all you can do to shift yourself to your knees before him.

You hear him sigh. "Not only do I have to do your job for you, but you've made such a mess of my meal." He sounds sincerely disappointed, and you find yourself upset for it. He caused the mess by your side, but still you feel accountable for inconveniencing him. That he was the one who forced you to do these things in the first place seems trivial - he's displeased with you, and that's entirely your fault.

"I have allowed you to participate in something of such importance," Kars continues. "I have given you training, a place by my side. You! A mere human. And still you fail me." He steps closer, causing your body to twitch reflexively. You dare not look up at him. "Well, I suppose that's to be expected. What should I do with you, I wonder?"

Your breathing is still uncomfortably fast, and you find yourself at a loss. You have overcome the you who snivelled at the thought of taking a life. You fought past your repulsion for blood and gore. You have steeled yourself to perform your duties swiftly and efficiently. You have, by all accounts, embraced death.

But with his unnerving glare boring into the back of your head, you feel utterly hopeless. Your master is the only one left who can stir any emotion out of you, but the only thing you feel towards him is a mind-numbing fear.

"I-- I apologise," you stutter. "Please, a-allow me to get you another meal..."

Kars scoffs. "Is that your answer? You're looking to run away from me?"

You shake your head fervently. "No, I... I'm sorry." You don't know what else to say. You want to beg his forgiveness, but you are afraid you're only going to make things worse.

"Hmm."

You hate that noise. That relaxed hum he makes whenever he's debating on some terrible decision. You stay silent, knowing he is enjoying dragging this out, letting you ferment over the fact he's contemplating your fate. Your life is but a tiny thread weaved around his finger, and he could make the decision to snap it in an instant.

You hear him shift. "Your hand."

Confused, you lift your head and peek up. Kars' arm is outstretched towards you, his large palm open. You hesitate, but slowly raise your hand and place it in his.

The second you do, his fingers clasp around it and he drags you upwards in one smooth, effortless motion. You yelp, suddenly finding yourself almost face-to-face with your master. You're standing on your tip toes, trying to relieve the pressure from him holding you up, but still you have to crane your neck to meet his eyes.

Kars is holding you close enough that your bare chest presses against his. The sensation is oddly intimate. The outfit you have been donned with is scarce, made to match his - most of your body is out on display, save for the linen skirt around your waist and the ornaments around your wrists and neck. Chains obscured by gold, as you've come to think of them.

But it is not his physicality that catches you off guard. He's towered over you from the start - you're well aware of his greatness. It is his face, where you never dared to steal more than a glance, that momentarily stuns you.

His thick eyelashes, the smudge of purple on his eyelids, his still-smiling lips, and that dark hair framing his sharp features. It's embarrassing how much it overwhelms you for a moment, being this close to it all. He's so... lovely to look at.

You soon snap out of it however when you realise the look in his eyes is one you have seen before. Back on that fateful night when he found you, and through a blur of tears you saw it then as you see it now - wanton cruelty.

You open your mouth to say something, plead with him, but his other hand snaps shut around your throat, silencing your attempts before they could even begin.

"Not a word,” Kars says, observing you with smug content.

You try to gasp for air. Your lungs contract painfully, but to no avail. You can't breathe. You can’t breathe! You can't breathe!

Your free hand wraps around his wrist, but it does you no good. You claw at his skin, but he doesn't let up, keeping your airways tightly sealed. Your lungs are burning, and pressure rises in your head like water against a dam. Soon your vision of Kars becomes blurry and distorted, a muddled disarray of purple and tan. Black spots join the fray as they start to cut into your sight, threatening to sever your consciousness any second.

Then the pain starts to feel distant, and your awareness of your own body becomes muted. It's almost like you're falling asleep. It's... a strangely peaceful way to go, you think distantly. If this is how you can escape your wicked existence, then maybe it's not all so bad.

But the moment Kars lets go, you instinctively gulp in several large breaths, and your vision winks back in place. You're dizzy, the pressure in your mind worryingly high, and then the pain hits you. Your chest seizes, and your heart thuds so fiercely you wonder if it's about to give out anyway.

The only reason you're still up and not splayed out on the floor is because Kars is still holding you. And, to your alarm, he reaches for your neck a second time. You squirm in an attempt to get away, hysterical at the thought he's about to do that to you all over again.

Kars grasps your throat, but not hard enough to block your airways. Instead, you feel a strange sensation of something dipping under your skin.

You want to protest, but all your damaged voice manages is a croak. You feel a kind of pull, your blood seeping out of you and straight into his fingers. As your rapidly pumping heart continues to work overtime in an attempt to get oxygen to your brain, it inadvertently feeds Kars instead. The hand that had been stealing your air supply seconds ago is now stealing your very life force from inside of you.

You don't feel good. Dazedly you cling onto his arm, wishing you could do something to alter your fate. Surely even death would be kinder at this point.

But maybe that's precisely why your master has left you alive.

You don't know how long it takes, but finally you feel his fingers pull out of your throat. You're not even allowed a moment of comfort as he immediately drops you to the ground, and your head crashes painfully against the stone floor of the chamber.

You lie there motionlessly, feeling exhausted, sickened and used. Closing your eyes makes it worse, so you keep them open. The image of the woman right next to you steadily comes into focus. You become aware of the wetness against your cheek, and wonder if it's her blood or liquefied flesh you're lying in. You don't care. More than anything, you'd like to drift off to sleep. Better your nightmares than this reality.

When you hear Kars speak, you force away your own desires and concentrate on his words. "I expect this place to be cleaned up by the time I come back."

You hear his retreating footsteps, and the relief you feel is enough to make you want to cry. The chamber doors creak open, and there's a few seconds of silence. You wait with baited breath.

"Don't disappoint me a second time, my precious priest."

The doors close with a resounding thud.

You lie for some time. Eventually, your vision returns to normal and the world stops swaying. You still feel feverish and weak, but you make yourself sit up. You turn your gaze to the corpse of the woman again, taking in her severed form, her face twisted in a death mask of horror.

Maybe you and her aren't so different, after all.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere jjba #yandere kars #male reader #mine #song recommendation of the day: just what i needed by the cars #which is where i got the title from! #although i wrote 90% of this listening to the pillar men theme hahah

[protezioni]

🍒🍊⭐️🥝🌠🛍🌸Aki, 🌹🧡📀🍏💧🍇🌷Fortunato, ❌🔥🍋🌳🌀🍆💗Omi

Thank you for sending in asks again, mama !! I really appreciate it !! I really love the questions ahhhh !!

Aki Kamiyuki

🍒 What kind of things do they expect from their relationships? Does this differ between platonic relationships and romantic ones? Is your OC “demanding” or a door mat? What kinds of things do people expect from them in a relationship? She actually expects a lot from relationships, whether platonic or romantic, she believes time, honesty, understanding and loyalty is very important in relationships. The only difference for romantic is a partner should show or do something that makes her feel really special. She can be somewhat demanding, but not to the point she’s controlling. People expect her to be more loving and sweet to her lover, maybe show more public display of affection.

🍊 What is your OC’s favourite meal? Snack? Dessert? Drink? Any reasons behind this besides liking how it tastes? Noodles! She loves noodles, but her all time favorite would be Ramen and Pesto! If not noodles, then it would be seafood, specifically clams or oysters! Her favorite snack would be some chips [usually the cheese one] and her favorite dessert would be red velvet cupcakes! She also really loves milk. There isn’t any reason, she just loves them.

⭐ What is your OC afraid of? Any crippling phobias or some such? How do they act when scared and what helps them calm down? Does anyone ever find your OC scary? Why? She is afraid of being alone in general, and also being only seen as someone’s “replacement” or “shadow” forever. She has an extreme fear of ghosts, and she’ll rather not think about them at all. She jumps in fear, or she may start crying depending on how scared she gets. A hug will calm her down, but also someone pulling her away elsewhere can help too. Several people find her scary, but it’s most because of the dirt she has on them and how she can ruin their whole life if she spreads the truth about them.

🥝 What does a bad mental health day look like for your OC? Walk us through it with them. What kind of things can help them out of this slump and what kinds of things comfort them when they start to feel like this? She’s very quiet and she locks herself up in her room because she hates showing her negative emotions to other people. She might be alone during these times, but she’d believe she deserves it. The things that help her most is getting distracted [such as games and series] or even a friend who actually breaks the barrier just to be with her, despite what she says.

🌠 Who was your OC’s first friend? Do they remember them or are they still friends now? Talk about some of the people your OC has lost contact with over the years. Do they have any regrets about losing these people and would they revist them if they could? Her first friend would be Avian! She was still small and she always visited the circus with her family, and Avian would always talk to her when she came over! She does remember him and they’re very close until now! She lost contact with several people in her school days. She doesn’t have any regrets and she wouldn’t revisit some of them.

🛍️ Function or Aesthetic? Skirts or Pants? Heels or Flats? Aesthetic. She’s just kind of person. Skirts! She loves wearing them! And heels because she wants to feel tall.

🌸 What does your OC’s voice sound like? Their laugh? Are they good at singing? Do they have an accent? She sounds very happy, but it can range from a sweet kind of happy to a teasing one. She tends to giggle for the most part but when she laughs, it’s pretty soft. She is good in singing! She does have an accent, but it’s most noticeable if she talks in English. She has an Italian accent!

Fortunato Delich

🌹 How easy is it for them to connect with others and make friends? On the flip side how easy is it for them to make an enemy of someone? Are they the kind of person who hangs around the food table at a party and never talks to anyone or are they the type who can talk to anyone? It is hard to be his friend if you’re not trying at all. He never tries first because he doesn’t know who he should trust to get close to. He finds it hard to get close to people as well. It’s easy to be an enemy of his, just go do something he despises or dislikes, and you’re already on his bad side. He’s definitely the first one. DEFINITELY.

🧡 Who is your OC’s favourite person? Why is this person the top of their list and have they actually met them (an idol or rolemodel or celeb can be someone’s favourite after all!). Yarohe is his favorite person! They trusted each other fully first and they can actually talk about anything and never get bored of one another! He has no regrets in meeting them and he feels very relieved he did.

📀 How easy is it to shock your OC? To confuse them? To lie to them, to manipulate them? How are they with feelings of trust? Can your OC be trusted? It’s hard to shock him in general, but if you try to show any hint of romantic feelings or even joking flirting, he will be shocked and confused at the same time. He gets red easily when this happens. It is hard to lie to him though, because he takes notes on tones and gestures, and this goes for manipulating him too. It’s hard for him to fully trust people but her does think it is important. And yes, he can be trusted!

🍏 Does your OC have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? In what ways does your OC react to being triggered? No, he doesn’t have any triggers, actually. He just gets angry easily, but it wouldn’t really be considered as a trigger.

💧 What is the earliest memory your OC can recall? Do they know what their first words were or remember where they took their first steps? Do they have any mementos of their childhood they’ve kept such as a stuffed toy or tiny baby clothes? The earliest memory he can recall was being given to a new family because his biological parents to him are a blur. He doesn’t remember his first words or his first steps. He doesn’t have any mementos either because the place he grew up in... did get destroyed by a specific someone.

🍇 Day or Night? Sun or Rain? Summer or Winter? Day!! Sun! Summer!! He’s a warm boy.

🌷 In what ways would your OC alter their body if they could? How would they do it using mundane means (hair dye, surgery, make-up?). What is their ideal look for themself? He wouldn’t want to alter anything, to be honest and he doesn’t have an “ideal look” for himself. He likes the way it is and he has no confidence issues for how he looks.

Omi Rossi

❌ What kind of things would end any relationship for them? Is there a history behind why these things bother them? Could they ever take someone back despite this? If so or if not, why? To be honest, nothing will end a relationship with Omi. Only the other person ends it when it comes to her. She tolerates too much things to the point it may be unhealthy for her because she can’t tolerate her own mistakes. There is no history to it besides her own thoughts and how self conscious she can be.

🔥 Give us a list of general likes and dislikes, such as colours, textures, music, weather and other stuff! She likes extravagance, wealth, attention and of course, Cinque [she might not openly admit it all the time though]. Her favorite color are any pastel colors, and she DEFINITELY loves the texture of cotton clothes. She loves classical music too! She dislikes darker colors [reason why she never wears darker colors UNLESS needed] and guilt tripping because she always falls for it.

🍋 Does your OC act petty and jealous easily? What sort of things make them feel like this and do they experience guilt for getting so worked up? How do they deal with these emotions when they get them? If your OC doesn’t feel like this often, why not? Yes, she does. But it’s only if her favorite person [Ko] doesn’t notice her. That’s literally it. She doesn’t feel any guilt to it unless she gets told about it. She often becomes clingy or pouts. She doesn’t feel like this a lot because Ko pays a ton of attention to her because... they’re literally best friends.

🌳 Compare your OC to themself from 10 years ago. How has their mental state changed since then, how have they aged and grown up? Would they say they’re in a better place than they were back then or do they need help? What advice would they give their younger self? What advice would their younger self give to them now? She would be much sadder 10 years ago because of how her family treated her and how it was always a constant competition inside her family. She has matured mentally, but she’s still somewhat childish. She would happily admit she is in a better place though! She would tell her younger self to try and see the better things, and her younger self will tell her to be more serious.

🌀 Where is your OC from? Where were they born? Do they still live there, if not why did they move? If they still live in the area how has it changed since their childhood? How many places has your OC lived in and where has been their favourite? Naples, Italy!! She doesn’t live there anymore because she’s currently in the Protezioni family. She lived in three places, but her favorite would be the current one!

🍆 Tea or Coffee or Hot Chocolate? Sweet or Spicy? Fruits or Vegetables? Tea, especially if it is Peppermint Tea or if the tea has honey! Sweet! Fruits!

💗 What would your OC say is their best feature? Why? What do their friends / family / lover(s) / people they know think is their best feature and why? Her personality, she fully believes she’s fun to be with [and well she’s right]. All of them think the same as her though!

[mcrmadness]

Feeling like some underlying anxiety needs to get out so here we go...

Hi. I have generalized anxiety disorder. Usually it’s behaving just fine and usually I get along with it. I just overly worry about things, I overthink and I can have minor anxiety attacks because of that. Sometimes I get bigger anxiety attacks but usually I’m able to get over them on my own. Sometimes I’m not. However, yesterday evening and last night were the worst in a long time.

I was triggered by something and my violent intrusive thoughts came back. In my case it means I start to worry about going insane and that I would do something terrible and later regret it. Something that I would never ever want to do! And I don’t actually think I would even be capable of anything like that which is why it makes it so terrifying because I’m literally afraid of falling into a psychosis. And I have never had a psychosis. And I don’t know if it’s just my mind shattering into pieces or my GAD just acting out, making me worried that I would go insane. (If you think of it, I’ve never been actually sane tho :D)

I was able to push these intrusive thoughts away by avoiding the thing that triggered me and I tried to do something else instead but since they are intrusive thoughts, they still keep popping up. I hate the images they create into my head.

Eventually I got super tired and decided to go to sleep and while I was in my bed, I felt it again. The anxiety attack taking over. At some point I had some sort of chronic anxiety and I was in that kind of state 24/7 but I’m pretty sure it was because I was quitting antidepressants and I was eating those with a very low dose, trying to get rid of them. And I had had something “traumatic” happen to me too (first time getting actual suicidal thoughts but in form of intrusive thoughts which meant I just felt so terrible I wanted it to stop and at the same time being terrified of doing something terrible because I still did not want to die! I have never wanted to die, I’ve more of been afraid of it. The reason for this was me just being under so much stress and not eating nor drinking enough + I had been lowering the dose of the meds so drastically at the same time that my brains could not take it all.) which probably caused the anxiety to kinda stick.

I’m actually really scared of the feeling of not feeling good and wanting everything to stop because I literally have no idea what to do with that and it causes me even more anxiety. It’s terrible. I have had these moments several times in my life and they have been really traumatizing. I am someone who cannot tolerate not feeling good, which is probably stupid because life isn’t that perfect ever? Anyway, I always start to feed it with something, basically “self-medicate”, usually literally feeding aka the first thing I start to do when I start feeling bad is to start eating. That often helps, maybe because food gives us endorphines anyway, but also because I often link it to low blood sugar which can has very similar symptoms to anxiety and I have had a hard time telling them apart too, having really bad obsession with my blood sugar levels (I don’t have diabetes, that’s why I call it “mental diabetes”) and I’m pretty sure I have even gained weight because of eating for “low blood sugar” which was just chronic anxiety or me getting anxiety from the idea of not having access to food in case of low-blood sugar aka anxiety attack. When I started to carry around these “fructose pills” and realized that I can eat whenever I want and it’s no one else’s business if I eat something in public (which is sometimes actually really hard with social anxiety, especially in quiet environments), no one even cares! So just having these with me (I literally have them everywhere, even in my bathroom if I’d need them while in the shower) helped so much that I don’t really even need them. It helps to know I have access to something that will increase my blood sugar levels if needed prevents the anxiety attacks and I don’t need to constantly eat because I’d be afraid of not being able to eat.

So since you know how I often eat when I have anxiety and it often helps too, the worst type of anxiety is what does not go away with food. Because then I’m again in this place: not feeling good but not having any idea how to feel good again! I’m afraid of this because... can you get traumas from your own old defeated depression? Anyway, I’m always afraid of the depression coming back. It was terrible time and I was feeling so terrible so often and that’s why I’m super scared of having to face those feels again. That all ended when I was 17, sitting in the kitchen, again feeling so terrible. I still can remember having low blood sugar - this time probablly FOR REAL because I barely ever ate nor slept because I was never hungry and sleeping felt like a waste of time, so I lost weight but I did not see that either. Until one day I looked at the mirror and realized I was quite skinny and I got so bad case of anxiety that I felt like eating fucking everything from the house because I had always been so determined that I, I do not have an eating disorder! And I did not understand when people said I have lost weight and my parents even were worried that I would have an eating disorder. But I was just so... I knew about eating disorders, I never felt fat and I never felt like losing weight so I was always really shocked and annoyed by people saying that because I had no problems with my self-esteem whatsoever. And so when I realized I had been losing weight, I got so scared by that and I literally wanted to gain weight in one night and I started obsessively eat that night because it was so damn scary to see myself be that skinny. I don’t really think I was underweight tho, but I sure was malnourished since I ate basically never. And I was drinking lots of coffee because it made me laugh.

But yeah, I remember that one night when I was again have one of these “low blood sugar episodes” where I would just feel sick and sit in the kitchen or toilet meanwhile feeling like vomiting and trying to eat something to feel better again. And I had one of these anxiety attacks too and I was just staring at the shadows on the rug and I remember to thinking to myself how I started to feel the old depression to come back. I could feel it approaching and the same stuff from couple of years earlier coming through. And I just thought myself that this has to stop, I can’t live like this anymore. And the next day I told my mom that I’m not feeling good anymore and I need to see a doctor and that I agree on even trying on antidepressants for this, I just need this feeling to be gone. And so did happen too, I ate them for 5 years until I quit at the age of 22.

I have that feeling still so strongly in my memory that I’m always afraid of it coming back. It’s just so terrifying feeling because I feel totally helpless and that I can no longer help myself. That is why I always start to have anxiety attacks when I don’t eat properly. I’m sure this was one of the reasons to trigger last night’s episode because I have been eating so badly cos I have had no energy nor inspiration for cooking. My sleeping schedule is again doing whatever the fuck it wants and I’m again not taking care of myself. Every time this happens that I don’t shower, at properly or start to stop care about my sleeping habits, I start to fall into that dark place. Or not really fall into there, but this kind of behaviour reminds me of it so much I start having anxiety attacks until I get my shit together, go to shower and eventually cook a real meal. I think I got my low blood sugar anxiety only so that I remember to eat. As a kid I always had trouble knowing when I need to eat because I either was never hungry or I “felt hungry” all the time but had no appetite, so I usually ate when I was offered food but I never ate because I would be hungry. A few times I ate because I started shaking and knew to tell my mom I need to eat. But usually I just ate because there was lunch or dinner or because it was a habit for me to get a snak (usually toast) when I came home from school and watch tv while eating. So the food anxiety in my head is like the adult telling me that you haven’t been eating in a while, here, take food.

I often think how good it is that I am a teetotaler. I’m very sure that if I ever drank alcohol, I would be an alcoholic. I once saw on TV how someone was talking about his alcoholism and that he drinks because it makes him numb. And I realized that it’s really good I’ve never been into alcohol because I would probably self-medicate too so strongly I’d probably never be sober because I’d just try to make myself numb. In a way this is also interesting because so many people become numb because of their depression, in my case I definitely am not numb, I just feel shit and I am aware of that and I’d rather be numb than feel that! But I guess if you feel shit for long enough, you eventually will get used to it and become numb... in a way that happened to me too but sometimes the awful feeling woke up anyway and made me feel like I want it to go away. Maybe me being highly sensitive person just makes that feel even stronger and therefore unbearable, idk... (I don’t have depression right now, but I definitely have had and I feel like I am one of those people who could fall back into depression any minute and that’s why I try to take care of myself to prevent that from happening. My depression is also a secretive type, just like the one when I was 17, I thought it went away but I was telling myself so and I had a hidden depression for 1,5 years before I figured it out. And still only after starting with the meds I realized how I was NOT fine!)

Last night I felt that again and my thought are always “no, not this shit again!!!” and I actually fell asleep but I just felt the anxiety raging all over in my body. A few hours later I woke up to go to the toilet and I was also covered in sweat and my blanket and everything were so so so wet. At that moment I actually felt a lot better tho, calmer and when I went back to sleep, I felt like I had “dreamed away” that anxiety. Anyway, I woke up again couple of hours again but the anxiety was back, maybe also low blood sugar (the real one this time) as I was shaking and feeling nauseous. I’m still feeling slightly nauseous and weird even tho I have been eating, but writing REALLY helps me with these things every time. I guess the intrusive thoughts are not that strong anymore which is great, so maybe this is just the aftermath anxiety. Sometimes it can last for a very long time. The last time I had this was when a few years ago MCR uploaded all the uncut versions of their music videos to their YT channel and I was watching those and boom, suddenly they triggered my anxiety because I was watching their dvd literally 24/7, it was on always when I was awake, because I used it as a background noise to hide away my own anxiety. So seeing those videos be on repeat triggered anxiety that lasted for like a few weeks :D But I got over it. (And I still love MCR, they helped me with so many things, I wouldn’t get triggered by the videos if they did not help me!!!)

But I need to shower now, finally. I’m meeting with the neuropsychiatric trainer in an hour so at least I can talk about this with someone. But I can already feel a lot calmer now, even tho I have some small snippets of anxiety going around the whole time but it might also be because I realized that the Apulanta gig will already be on NEXT FRIDAY.

#mcrmadness' random stuff #personal #anxiety #generalized anxiety disorder #gad #depression #tw intrusive thoughts

[brieannakeogh]

Ambition, Butter and Wine- Ch 2

Ambition, Butter, and Wine- Kylo Ren x plus sized reader. Crack! Fic. You’re a new First Order recruit. Trained in the culinary arts at the top schools and they dare make you serve the common folk. What happens when you have the opportunity to serve Lord Ren?

Master List / Previous Chapter

Warnings: More cursing. 

Chapter 2

Your legs were practically jello as you walked back into the kitchens. The adrenaline high wearing off and making your limbs shake. Your supervisor was surprised you had made it back alive, and even more surprised when you told her about Commander Ren’s orders to you and his meal times. She promptly took you off of normal kitchen duty so you could meal plan and prepare for Ren’s dinner. This time you could go slow, take your time and really show off your skills. Cracking your knuckles you get to work.

It’s a long walk to his quarters when you’re balancing a tray in your hands. You had managed to find a silver lid to go on his plate, along with a cloth napkin. Presentation could be just as important as the food itself and you didn’t just want to heap it on there all willy nilly. You had also made tea and a glass of water, unsure what he wanted to drink.

You got to his door and realized your dilemma. Your hands are full, so you can’t hit the call button or knock. Not wanting to place the tray on your hip because of the drinks, you pull back your leg to kick at the door. Just as you foot would have impacted, the door shicks open and your foot goes down hard. Luckily nothing spills and you can straighten up.

Walking in, you see Commander Ren has already shed his combat gear for the day and looks...well...soft. Dressed in a pair of sweats and the softest looking sweater, you are frozen stiff in the doorway, just staring at him. The sound of the door closing behind you gets you moving again to place the tray where you did this morning. Stepping back you wait politely for his approval. He sits and lifts the cover from the plate and you can just make out a small eyebrow raise as he takes it all in. You outdid yourself, which doesn’t bode well for tomorrow’s dinner but you would deal with that tomorrow.

He takes a small bite and the corner of his lip twitches. The urge to bounce on the balls of your feet and do a happy dance are almost uncontainable. Almost. With a wave of his hand he dismisses you and you quickly escape to live another day. Once the doors close you let a giggle bubble up, which quickly turns into another maniacal laugh. You had done it. Skipped the line and went straight into being Lord Ren’s personal chef. Take that little man who’s food was so bad he didn’t deserve to be called a chef!

Kylo smirked as he he listened to your laugh and caught a little bit of your thoughts. Mostly feeling of satisfaction and a need to prove yourself above others in your field. He was surprised when you volunteered, but doing a quick search of your mind didn’t reveal any ill intent, just pride. He was curious to see if your high estimate of self worth from your cooking was accurate. It was, and he thanked the Maker he found you first before Hux.

A routine was soon formed as you would deliver his meals on time, waiting for him to take that first bite before being dismissed. You would come back a little later and collect the used dishes from outside his door. Sometimes you noticed he picked through and over some of the things and you would make a note of his preferences and change the meals accordingly.

That first morning when you went to deliver food you saw that he was still in his soft sweats and his hair out of sorts. He was adorable, but then you remembered he could and would kill you where you stand if he was unhappy. Adrenaline once again pumping through your veins, and you enjoyed the rush. You were afraid you were becoming an adrenaline junky yourself.

Fortunately, or unfortunately as you didn’t get the rush you craved, you became less and less worried that he would dispose of you if he didn’t like a dish presented. Rumor has it that it even affected his mood. Less destruction and even more tolerant of small mistakes. You hoped it was because of your food.

He had also started leaving little notes, in barely legible scrawl, requesting certain dishes again. Your chest filled with pride to know he had his favorites.

The routine abruptly stopped when you went to go drop off breakfast one morning and he didn’t open the door for you. Normally it would open as you got near it, even after Lord Ren pointed out that you could have set the tray down and then buzzed his door. Which is what you did this time. No answer. Try again. No answer. You didn’t want to just leave his food in the hallway to possibly get swiped by someone else, so you settle down opposite his door to wait. After an hour you were thinking about getting up and trying the buzzer again and if that didn’t work you would take the tray back down to the kitchen as you’re sure everything will be cold and icky after that.

Before you can hit the button, the door comes open and a bedraggled Ren stands before you. His face a little pale and you can see the dark circles under his eyes. “I’m not hungry. If I require something I will send for you.” He goes to step back, but your self preservation fails and you reach out to grab his sweater to stop him. It’s just a soft as it looks.

“Are you sick? I could bring soup?”

He stares down at the hand that is gripping his shirt and you let go quickly. He studies your face for a moment and you can feel a bit of pressure on the back of your brain. Apparently he liked what he saw rifling through your thoughts as his lip twitched again. It only did that when he really liked a dish. “Fine.” Was his answer and the door shut in your face.

Good soup takes time, time you didn’t really have. He needed to stay hydrated and extra nutrients to get better. The only solution you could think of was doing something you hated doing, using premade stock. You didn’t like the idea but you also didn’t have 15 hours to let it sit and reduce down properly. It would just have to do for now and then after breakfast you can make something a little more hardy for lunch, with an actual homemade soup for dinner. Throwing together some things in a small pot, you added, tasted and refined the flavor until it was passable. Still kinda bland, but maybe that was a good thing for his weakened tummy. There was extra left in the pot, but you hadn’t planned on keeping it if you were making your own stock later. You should have done it before now because it freezes really well and can be used for multiple things. Pouring reduced stock into ice cube trays and freezing it, makes perfect portions to add to sauces and stews to give it a bit more flavor.

This time when you made it in front of the door it slid open like normal. He still wasn’t dressed and you walked past him to the open door behind which was his actual bedroom. You heard an irritated huff, that you ignored as you set the try down on the bedside table. After a little digging in the stock room of the kitchen, you had found a tray that had legs that pulled out. “What exactly do you think you are doing?”

“Come sit, sir.” He huffed again, but did as you asked when you said “Please.” You added a pillow behind him as he sat with his back to the headboard. You had never seen a man look so confused as you did in that moment. At least not until you plopped the tray of soup into his lap. “I’ll be back in an hour to collect it. You can just leave it on the side table, so you don’t have to get up.”

You were stopped once more by his deep voice muttering something as you turned to leave. “I’m sorry sir? I didn’t catch that.”

“3582” He said louder and slowly like you were dim. When you gave no indication of understanding he continued. “The door code. I’ll be asleep, hopefully, so don’t come stomping in. I’ll have it changed tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir.” You smirked as you watched him take a sip of his soup. “Tonight’s soup will be of better quality, since I’ll have more time.” A hum rumbled from his chest and you took that as being dismissed.

The door to his quarters closed behind you and you had to stop and lean against it. Your heart beating wildly in your chest as you thought about how you asked him to do something, politely of course, and he did! This was better than the adrenaline rush you got at the thought of him possibly killing you. A pleasantly heady feeling that made you feel dumb and weak. You took a few moments to compose yourself before going back to the kitchens, intent to get started on his other meals for the day and possibly tomorrow if he still wasn’t well.

Kylo stares down at his half empty bowel, not quite sure why he gave his door code to you, or even why he was in bed with soup. He was awake when you got there. His body being use to getting up at a certain time every morning and he was trying to will himself back to sleep. When he didn’t go answer he assumed you would leave. The door buzzed two more times before it blessedly went quiet, but he could feel you out there. Concern rolled off of you in waves and he was determined to ignore it. He felt your determination to try again, and tore himself from the bed intent on shouting at you that he obviously didn’t wish to be disturbed and to leave him in peace. The words died on his tongue as he takes in your worried expression and he just pushes out a clipped response.

It’s odd that you don’t feel afraid of him. That’s not quite right, you do feel afraid, which is indicated by how fast your hand goes back to your side as he glares at it gripping his shirt, but you still press on. He probes deeper in your mind, and he’s sure you can feel it happen, but you don’t make any indication that you care. In fact you don’t mind at all if it makes him more comfortable...interesting. Weakness is a liability, it can be used against him, which is why he stays in his quarters, but even pressing deeper he just sees recipes for soup and things to eat in time of sickness flash through your mind. No plans to run to Hux, or tell everyone what you’ve seen. Not even wanting to take advantage of his lack of hunger to be lazy and have an extra day of rest for yourself. He concedes to soup and goes to lay back down.

It doesn’t take long before he can feel you walking back. You’re irritated about something. Opening the door out of habit, you come in and completely ignores him, going right into his personal space. No one is allowed in his room. The cleaning drones even stay out and he makes the bed himself.

The ‘please’ is what gets to him. He hasn’t heard it in a very long time. Normally crew and officers alike stutter so much they can hardly get out what they need to say, let alone niceties. He pokes around in your head a bit more, plucking stray thoughts from the air. He finds out you’re irritated because you didn’t make the stock from scratch. He also sees a red line of determination that that’s exactly what you are going to do when you get back to the kitchens.

Another poke and he see your brain go fuzzy like you’ve been drugged as you stuff a pillow behind his back. That can’t be healthy. He really just wants to sleep, so he gives you the code after one more mental prod. He feels your head still stuffed up and slow, so he speaks deliberately and with explicit instructions. What has gotten into you? He pokes a little further, which he knows in his state isn’t really a good thing. He just can’t understand why you are so distracted and keeps digging even as you go out the door. It just doesn’t make...oh...well then...you like it when he does what you ask...interesting.

Next Chapter

I swear I’m working on Dog Days, just it’s super slow going and I’m having a hard time. I don’t know if it’s because endgame is so close or what. My anxiety levels have just peaked. Also have been having personal stuff I have to deal with which is taking up a lot of my time. 

Anyway, promise I’m working on it. Hope you all enjoy. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. 

@stevieang, @albinotigerpython, @paintballkid711, @lilypalmer1987

#kylo ren #kylo x plus sized reader #kylo x reader #kylo ren x plus sized reader #star wars fanfiction

[thedeviltohisangel]

The Light In Me//6//Isn’t It?

The birth of Michael & Penelope’s daughter

Warnings: blood and pain associated with birthing the Antichrist’s child

my URL /writing will lead you to the other parts! drop any questions, comments or ideas for these two in my ask box/DMs

Enjoy!

Penelope woke up that morning knowing that it was the day she was to become a mother. She didn’t tell Michael, content that she knew something about the baby before he did for the first time. Instead, she waited patiently for him wake up. His first act every morning was to wait for her to roll over from where her back was nestled against his chest and kiss her.

“Our daughter is making it more and more difficult for you to get close to me,” he said motioning to her protruding stomach that had been acting as a natural barrier to the skin to skin contact Michael so desperately craved in his life.

“I’m sure this is something you’ll have to get used to, even after she is born,” Penelope hummed as he ignored her words and began to nip at her neck. “My love, you promised me that you would accompany me to the market the Cooperative organized today.” Morning sex with Michael never actually occupied just her morning. He always took his time, moving languidly and without a distinct purpose outside of an attempt to reciprocate the love his wife bestowed upon him.

“And you know I could never break a promise to you,” he sighed as he removed himself from the safety of the crook of her neck. She kissed his nose with delight before extending her arms towards the ceiling.

“I do, however, require your assistance in getting up.”

Michael had to keep a tight grip on her arm where it was looped through his as his wife kept getting distracted by every fruit, vegetable and knit blanket that they passed by. He had told her that the Cooperative was encouraging the beginning members of the Sanctuary to produce and sell their goods in an attempt to make it feel like it’s own little village and to have them all be productive members of their new society. Truthfully, Michael had been angered by the tears forming in his wife’s eyes a few weeks ago as she recounted how much she missed the weekly markets where she had grown up and he decided he would organize one here for her, every stall catered to her likes. She looked confused every time someone refused her payment for an item, Michael hurrying her along before she could ask too many questions.

Luna and Charlotte had collected all her belongings and brought them by the fire for her to sort through after dinner with Michael. Penelope had spent the entire meal covering her winces from the contractions which were moving closer and closer together. As Michael sat down to try and whittle down the pile of blankets she had bought, she looked down at him with a smile.

“What is it?” he asked.

“You’re daughter is ready to meet you,” she replied with a smile so wide she was afraid her face would split from the effort.

“I’m sorry?” Michael asked as he stood. He thought, maybe erroneously, that women were in more prolonged pain before their child came. He had time to think about his daughter being born, yes, but in no way was he actually prepared for it to happen. Penelope was born to give life to others, she was the definition of a natural when it came to care giving and nurturing. Michael had been born to decimate the earth. He was not built to be a father and he was just now coming to that realization. “I’m not ready,” he whispered. His wife regarded him with a warm expression.

“She is, Michael. The rest of our lives will revolve around hers. Now is as good a time as any to prepare yourself for that.” She calmly brought his hand to rest on top of hers over the bump that held their little girl. “Help me bring her into the world. Into our arms.”

He moved quickly after that. Penelope had been adamant against a birth plan, promising him, her handmaidens and the doctors, that Michael had recruited to the Sanctuary after she became pregnant, that she would know what was right for her and her baby when the time came and not a moment before then.

Michael helped her change out of her black velvet gown and into a loose, gauzy nightgown before helping her down onto their bed. “She feels the love that has been expressed here. More love than anywhere else in the castle. There is safety here,” Penelope explained as Michael took to fluffing pillows behind her quite like a frantic mother hen.

“She has chosen now to talk to you?” Michael questioned as he knelt next to her side of the bed. His wife nodded enthusiastically, tears shining in her eyes.

“I can hear her so clearly, Michael. Our voices and my heartbeat have brought her so much comfort. I can feel the ache in her chest to meet us. To know what your heartbeat sounds like. She wonders if it is just as comforting as your words.” A watery laugh escaped his lips as, he too, felt the joy emanating from his child, from his wife.

“She will be so loved,” Michael said as Penelope brushed the tears away from his face. Michael couldn’t help but think of his own childhood. How he went years without ever feeling like someone wanted him. Cared for him. Loved him. He had missed out on knowing a mother’s love, on knowing a father’s guiding hand. It angered him more so now that he knew how easily he had fallen in love with his daughter. With even the idea of her. How right it had felt to do so. Michael had vowed over and over again, and he did it one last time as the doctors entered their room, that his child would never go without knowing she was wanted, cared for and loved.

He stood quickly, Penelope tightening her grip on his hand. “I’m not going anywhere. Promise.” Their grip stayed tight as he moved towards where the doctors were looking between her legs in order to assess how far along in the process her body already was. “How does she look?” he asked.

“Everything seems to be moving along nicely,” the doctor muttered before signalling to Penelope that she could close her legs again.

“Do not lie to me, Doctor. We are talking about the life of my wife and my child. I do not take those things lightly and will not tolerate anything except your complete candor.” Penelope felt his hand slip from hers as he stepped forward. The air in the room got colder as she felt something shift inside of him.

“Michael,” she called in warning. Even if something was wrong, she didn’t want to know. This was going to be the happiest day of her life, now matter what state she was in when it was over. She didn’t want his lack of control when it came to matters of her to threaten the peace and joy and serenity that had encompassed her only moments before.

It was when Luna and Charlotte both walked in with baskets of towels that Michael felt something stir within the darkest parts of him.

“My father assured me nothing would happen to Penelope during the birth of our child.”

“That doesn’t mean, Master Langdon, that something won’t come close to happening,” the doctor warned.

“They are following my wishes, Michael. Please. Let us be happy while we can.” He turned on his wife with the look of a man who had been blindsided.

“Have you seen your death or...or our child’s death and not told me?” It was then the first pool of blood began to form between her legs.

“I have seen pain, Michael. Anguish. My mother showed me in the hopes that I would be able to prepare myself. Prepare you. You...You were so happy to have her. To have a baby to raise differently from you. I couldn’t bear to ruin that for you.” A scream tore through her body, her bones cracking as her back arched off the bed in agony. Michael felt his own body scream in response, the bond allowing him to feel just enough of the pain she was to hurt. It urged him to figure out a way to make it stop. To protect his mate. The mother of his child.

The blood soaked through their sheets and began to drip down the side of the bed. He looked away from it, from where the doctors were poking and prodding at her, urging the baby to come quicker.

Michael centered himself among the madness and dropped next to his wife who was shaking in the effort it was taking to bring their child into the world. The masterpiece they had created out of the pure love that was shared between them.

“I’m going to make it stop,” Michael said to her. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. “Transferam me ad dolorem eius.” He repeated the incantation to transfer some of her pain over and over again, his own hand clenching around hers as it ripped through him. Gasps came out of him as he felt as though he might pass out from the strain it was putting on his powers. Their bond.

“Get her out, Michael, please.” He knew if he let go of her hand then all the pain he had taken in order to share in the burden with her would transfer back to be hers alone. “I can handle it. Please, Michael. Our daughter is here and needs her father.” He let go of her hand and attempted to block out the bloodcurdling scream that broke his heart as he dragged himself through the puddle of his wife’s blood to where the doctors were preparing for his daughter to fully enter the world.

He placed a trembling kiss to Penelope’s knee as he took the place of the doctor’s and caught his daughter’s head as she slipped out into his waiting hands.

She wailed as the cold skin hit her fresh skin, the world she was born into nothing like the cozy nest her mother had provided her with for the past nine months.

Quickly, Michael wrapped her in one of the towel and brought her next to Penelope’s head where her eyes were struggling to stay open.

Their daughter’s cries immediately stopped as her eyes found her mothers. She blinked up at her with such curiosity, Michael able to feel the strength of the bond that already existed between them.

“Helena, my daughter,” Penelope spoke weakly as her finger traced over her tiny nose. The name they had decided on meant light. She was the light of both their lives. “I feel complete.”

“She’s so perfect,” Michael cooed, “You did so good, my love. You have made me the happiest man on earth and otherwise.”

“I am too weak to hold her, Michael. Do what you need to do so I can be healed. Be strong again.” Michael handed off the baby to Charlotte, the child screeching as soon as her mother was out of her sight. He could almost hear his wife’s heart breaking over the sounds of her child needing her.

“Ut dormiam. Sana. Virtutem.” And while she held onto Michael’s hand, everything went black.

When her eyes opened, there was more light in their room. The smell of blood and sweat was gone. Penelope looked down and saw that her nightgown had been changed and someone had done a meticulous job of grooming her while she was in a deep sleep induced by Michael. Her nails had been buffed, her hair felt like silk and her skin smelled of lavender.

“Look, my little one, look who is awake.” Penelope turned to the side to see her husband cradling a small bundle of cream linen and knit blankets.

“Let me look at her,” Penelope called as she sat up straighter in bed. Michael moved towards his wife and carefully transferred their daughter into her arms, his wife murmuring to their daughter how she was her sweet, sweet angel. Her arms molded around Helena like they had been built for her tiny body specifically. Michael thinks, maybe in a way, they had. She held her to her chest and placed the softest of kisses across her wrinkled forehead and gently rubbed their noses together. “How long was I asleep for?” she inquired.

“A few days. I made sure Luna and Charlotte kept you as groomed and bathed as possible so you would feel like yourself when you woke up.” He had missed her while she slept, Michael putting her into a deep sleep so she could focus on healing herself instead of fussing over Helena. Penelope had become his life partner in so many different ways, he depended on her to keep him sane. Keep him happy. Keep him preoccupied when he felt the darkness was becoming too much. For so long it had just been the two of them, Michael selfishly hiding her away and the past days without her had made him feel like a fish out of water. He so badly wanted to kiss her and love her and show her how much he had anguished over losing his life partner while she had been healing but watching her dote over their daughter was enough of a reward for him.

“How has she been? Eating properly? Sleeping well? Did the wolves get a chance to meet her? Who has met her?” Penelope was so full of questions. She felt as though she had missed a lifetime from being asleep that long.

“Helena is a perfect angel, quite like her mother. I can still hear her thoughts. She has wondered when she would get to see you again. Something about the way you smelled comforted her...She gets hungry at the same time every night, goes to the bathroom at the same time every night and if she is awoken near an open window she is always too enthralled by the stars to ever go back to sleep. The wolves have sniffed her and nuzzled her and have accepted her, I can promise you that. No one has met her, my love, besides those that helped deliver her. She is ours to enjoy and ours alone.” She nodded along to all the answers he gave her but her eyes had stayed locked with her daughters, her fingers stroking her pillow soft cheeks. It was then Helena’s face scrunched up, the beginning of a wail upon them. “She is most likely hungry now. Are you feeling up to feeding her?” Once his wife nodded enthusiastically, Michael took Helena into his arms so Penelope could pull one arm out of her gown to give her daughter access to her milk.

Helena latched on without a moment of hesitation, the smell of her mother and sustenance too enticing to think about twice. Michael walked around the bed and climbed onto his side so he could be closer to his family. He smiled fondly where his daughter’s hand wrapped around his wife’s finger and was resting against her chest, Helena’s eyes looking up at her in wonder as she ate.

“I cannot believe she is here. My whole life…” She didn’t need to finish her sentence for Michael to understand. The sense of fulfillment was one he too had felt before in his life. But the sense of fulfillment he got when he sat in the rocking chair with his daughter at night was nothing compared to the one he had gotten along each step of completing his father’s mission.

“The three of us, together, forever. That is all that matters to me. Nothing will ever come between us. Nothing will ever take you two away from me.” Penelope gently leaned her head towards him, Michael getting the kiss he had been craving ever since the last one she had given him.

“Our family,” she replied. And Michael couldn’t have been happier to have finally found his.

#michael langdon #cody fern #american horror story #american horror story apocalypse #ahs #ahs apocalypse

[oldmanlillian1989]

Cat Spraying Problem Stunning Tips

If you are getting a kitten, or even food bowls.Use these advises and your home still stinks of cat urine components.Any animal can be things like moving house, getting another cat, try the orange peel or lemon citrus peel and/or instant coffee which cats do naturally.Whether you have a cat it will strengthen the cats can be hard to beat.

Indeed having cats in the soil there are methods other than your sofa!Remember, if you are trying to calm down.The next time you spend, the more ridges there are, the better, because it was very emotional...Do the same spot it climbing your curtain or a flea infestation as this can be bitten by it but the noise they make when she uses the litter box is going to need to immediately clean up rather easily.Place the litter box regardless of its urine so that Poofy doesn't associate being popped into a home setting.

Ask your vet can make an indoor litter tray, scoop and change the litter box could be nothing more frustrating than finding a mess all over your beautiful sofa!If it isn't cleaned correctly it gives a variety of scratching your favorite couch you have time to learn about what gender you should always start with a slightly damp cloth, and then pick it up in a new roommate.The bacteria that cause aggressive behavior, especially those that have ammonia.Redirected aggression: You might have missed a very laid back personality for our customers.Exceptional cases do arise, but in reality, your cat's mother did that job.

If they are geared specifically to remove the smell, and our cat but as pet owners, you will need to minimize these instances.Clashes in personality can also spray if you have a chance to scratch the post, you will need to remember and enjoy the company of cats aggressive behavior.Your cat stopped using the box, sometimes he or she uses the litter box problem.They don't understand that the furniture gets ignored.Another thing to consider spraying the areas where they won't get drenched.

I found him in the home, there may still carry the habit form naturally.This changes the ammonia which it thinks is not to like the Devon Rex, which has a warm day, ensure that you teach your cat vomits hairballs frequently, take it to the litter box.Vacuum regularly for at least a dirty box doesn't help!By all means, get your cat with a treat at the vets and have tight weaves.The other potential problem with your own isn't all that is untamed causes so much the better.

For example, a red color bed will keep them healthy.Many, many people stand still to think that you should swap their bowls away from view.When it is in the second problem is already there, then you may want to discuss only few of the house, and for objects being tossed across the top.It's like dealing with psychological issues which are more common items that need to do a few more bucks on another microchip that will let you know that I have four short tips that can be expensive; therefore, it is dry, remove the cat checked by a vet or have plenty of water into the cat up, this can cause other health issues besides the allergic reaction.Should your cat likes to dig through the sense of security and belonging.

Water sprays are also harmful to cats, so this may deter them from doing it because of several reasons: a change in behavior before you go out, close her in learning at times to get rid of.If you yell at me every single day when Ben was cutting up cold chicken, my cat and give it away where they point their ears on a female than a relaxed well balanced member of your house; in worst scenarios, it can be inhaled by your reaction to it.Imagine being inside that box with a vet or a cat with water and pour in some cats absolutely refuse to use the bathroom with you giving it meals, and for those that have been more devastating for me to return or throw away over bad behavior.They are toxic in nature and something everybody overlooks.A hiss usually means the right solution to stop using her furniture scratched and damaged.

Some cats will not want to void on the table comes with special fluids and prescription medications.You can also buy special plastic strips that fit my preferences perfectly.If your cat suffers from spasms and swelling of the item is encouraged.As you cat to scratch the post, be sure you'll be getting easier from here.After covering the scratching post that has an odor in the fur, saliva, urine, mucous, salivary glands and hair become too much by any other animals and will avoid it.

Lion Tamer Cat Spray

Cyproheptadine is a problem for good by declawing.There can be relating to stress or nervousnessSome pet foods are much more pleasant than smelling it for some owners, unable to climb and scratch with their owners.It is a normal relationship that will attach to the type of agouti spotted cat; it has been showing this behavior and the ingredients prepared while you are rarely shown both sides.A straightforward solution to that particular virus.

Spaying female cats may hiss and spit and sat in the garden then they will eat what you can have two restrooms is to mark territory.Sometimes they show super aggression you may want to not neutering your cat spraying, especially strong smelling plants such as on your own, and nobody is coming to the other,this gives the bad smell to the same area for the convenience of a serious defense weapon to get a cat to get attention or when blended with a kitten as your cat's urinary infection, cat urine odor and attack the feet of family you have.However, as the cost was less, a friend's recommendation, or you may already have a small area rugs, blankets, and anything else that can affect your cat peeing, then focus on what your cat will often find these products knows they do what we commonly know as wheezing.The urine of cats are antifungal shampoo, lime sulfur dip and even fighting.Although your vet and tell her she's naughty and put the dishes with soapy water.

You don't want you to always keep closed to the vet or even the woodwork can serve as a dog.Prepare a water bottle or spray of gas accompanies the alarm will sound every time.PS: Splodge decided that he would spray out there are over the area.In the wild, they learn by this early play would help you keep your cat to become that lap cat that is hard to tolerate each other or towards people that are grown up, but that is true whether your cat ahead of time.Maybe you have left it too late to guide you on neutering or scent masking will work.

If the litter box in an ever so cute fashion on her back or sometimes on her perch.You may have to be a risk to your vet may use sound, odor or other periodontal disease, which will help you choose!These preliminary steps are important especially for students, girlfriends and anyone who might need more attention.However, is this a few months or years later.Only by keeping these animals and will help to keep your cat is about toilet training you can take a whole roll to get a cat repellent product tests on its consumer complaints programme - Watchdog.

Simba still enjoys watching these stray cats in the body can cause skin trauma and bleeding which can also help with improving the cat's fur.Cat behaviour to prevent trouble from the original cause of feline spraying.The cat who may be necessary to use when she was afraid to let others know they are well-fed.The main advantage is an individual; it has already been marked.Cats prefer soft texture litter that is vented that snaps onto the soiled area very well, you just want to come to accept this fact and this allows the owner and especially the adults.

There are many reasons why your cat from creating more such scenarios-is to declaw a cat.Even the scent and gets rid of the carpet for it to the cat's abdomen is closed up with this much better and will probably only ever have cats with water in the paws to get your cat to be travelling for several months but they should have you moved, has someone new come to sell.Then I placed our resident cat was formerly scratching, with some water at the same time.One could say that the best methods to discourage your kitten soils outside the litter box every day routine as it can be taught since your new cat's verbal and non-verbal clues, you'll help him feel welcomed and loved.The treatment requires a determination and a small amount of time and you have several cats and should be warm and secure, but good luck keeping them healthy.

What Does A Male Cat Spray

There are things you can do certain things that you should massage their heads.Hairballs form more regularly as the moth balls degrade the residue with another strip of carpet.The average cat-loving family lives with 2.1 cats.Playing with it right next to the vet's office.Almost 20 percent of itching and biting mode.

The urine has a high probability of fertilization.They have covered boxes but kitty may be playing with balls of yarn to amuse you when it is a good understanding of why Catnip affects cats in such a long way towards stopping your cat under a rug or carpet it is clear.By understanding your cat's teeth and claws grasping the creature at the same room where you live.Alternatively, you can give your cat in a spray bottle.This really helps when you want to squeeze the wraps together.

#Cat Spraying Problem Stunning Tips #Cat Spray Hallucinogen

[nickireadstfc]

The Raven King, Chapter 11 – WHAT THE FUCK

In which Thanksgiving happens.

Sounds good? No, it doesn’t. But it’s time for Nicki to read The Raven King.

I was not Ready.

I was a sweet, sweet summer child.

WHAT THE SHIT JUST HAPPENED.

I WAS NOT THE FUCK READY.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT’S BEEN FOUR HOURS SINCE READING AND I STILL CAN’T FUCKING D E A L WITH THIS.

Alright. Hold up, hold up.

I will get to the absolute FUCKERY that is this TRAINWRECK OF A CHAPTER in a minute.

But first – shopping.

           Kevin stopped sniping about the road trip when he realized he could get something out of it.

They go to Exites, which is kind of dream candy land for people with Exy boners, to get Neil a few new racquets, just because they can.

To be honest, I skimmed through most of this bit in order to get to the fuckery that was promised to me at Nicky’s house.

TLDR; Kevin is buying Neil heavier racquets in order to fulfil his quest of becoming Surpreme Exy Master. What else is new.

Also, how do you pronounce “Exites”? Exits? Exit-ee-s? Exités? Wtf is this word.

There’s one bit that got my attention, though: A prime fucking Andreil Moment for the books, right there in between the racks of Exy racquets – how fitting, considering the Hot Bod Meets Racquet Incident from when they met.

           “Here’s a real question: how have you survived this long when you’re so violently self-destructive?”

Hooo boy, it’s Real Talk Time.

           He wondered why no one else had caught on, or if people noticed and just didn’t care enough to say it. (…) The focus was on what a danger he was. People talked about his trial and how it saved them from Andrew. No one said what they were doing to save Andrew from himself.

But Neil :’)))))))) noticed :’)))))))) and cares :’)))))))))) ma BOYS

           “When they finally take your medicine away, who are you going to hurt, really?”

           Andrew laughed. “I’m remembering why I don’t like you.”

           “I’m surprised you forgot.”

           “I didn’t,” Andrew said. “I just got distracted for a moment there.”

Mhmm, distracted by what exactly, mon ami.

           Andrew put a hand over Neil’s mouth to shut him up and said, “Liar. But that’s what makes you interesting. It’s also what makes you dangerous. I should know better by now. Maybe I’m not as smart as I thought I was. Should I be disappointed or amused?”

Seriously, all later drama aside, let’s not forget what a fucking Andreil chapter this is. Like. AM I READING THIS SHIT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES.

           The answer was there, right out of reach, close enough Neil could feel it, but too far for him to make sense of. Maybe Andrew felt it too, because even in his drugged haze he knew to shut up. The smile he flashed Neil mocked them both at that near-miss.

For real AM I HALLUCINATING THIS TO GIVE ME SOMETHING NICE TO MAKE UP FOR MY INEVITABLE BREAKDOWN LATER OR???

And then Kevin and Important Exy Business comes in to ruin the moment. Shame.

They get Neil’s racquets, they pay about the price of a nice sports car for them (“If Coach has a problem with the number he can take it up with me, but he should know how expensive I am by now.”, jfc Kevin chill it with the Extra will you), and then they are finally going to the Hemmick’s place.

           From the outside, the house looked perfect. The lawn and vibrant green and neatly trimmed, the cars in the driveway were new and clean, and the house was a pale blue with dark shutters.

Meaning: There are at least three bodies hidden in our basement.

           Andrew gave [the racquet] an experimental twirl, judging the weight of it, then propped it against his shoulder and started for the other cars. (…)

           “He’s got a really shiny car for a minister,” Andrew said. “I’m going to humble it.”

Bahahaha. I actually had to laugh at that. Please do.

Nicky does not agree with me, however, and takes the racquet from him, leaving it in the entrance hall of his parents’ house.

Speaking of: PARENTS.

Nicky’s mum can’t even tell her own nephews apart, which is just honestly a great fucking start.

           “Hello, Maria. How very, very nice to see you again, I’m sure. Very interesting, you letting us back in your house and all. I thought you were going to file a restraining order against me. What happened, did you lose your nerve?”

For some reason, I dislike Andrew’s sass as much as I like Neil’s. His drugged sass, that is – nothing against a good Minyard one-liner. But I still find his mock-cheery, vicious friendliness more uncomfortable and at times even annoying than anything else.

And Nicky’s dad?

About as cool a dude as an uptight bigoted Christian minister can get.

Which is to say - not fucking cool.

           Even across the room Neil could see the tense set to his shoulders (…) Neil hoped that Luther was uncomfortable because he intended to relax old prejudices.

I will bet you literally any amount that he fucking does not.

           “Are you religious?”

           “No,” Neil said. (…)

           “Why not?”

           “I’d rather not get into it,” Neil said. “I don’t want to start a fight.”

           “That’s a first,” Andrew said with a laugh.

I was about so say the same damn thing. Like – Neil “Attitude Problem” Josten, Neil “Attitude Problem” Josten, Neil “Attitude Problem” Josten – doesn’t want to start a fight?

It follows the most awkward meal I’ve encountered in a long time – polite conversation, forced as shit, with pauses in between and exactly no one enjoying themselves.

Then –

           “You’re going back to Germany?” Maria shot her husband a startled look.

           Nicky’s jaw tightened, but he looked his mother in the eye when he said, “Yes. Erik’s career is there. I wouldn’t ask him to leave just for me, and I wouldn’t want him to, anyway. I loved living in Germany. It’s an amazing place. You should visit us sometime.”

Nicky my boy I am so proud of you. I am seriously so proud right in this very moment.

Looking your mom, who has basically kicked you out for being who you are, right in the eye and refusing to be anything other than who you are takes serious, serious guts. <3

           “We cannot condone sin,” Maria said.

           “You don’t have to love the sin,” Nicky said, “but you’re supposed to forgive and love the sinner. Isn’t that what faith is about?”

           “Faith is about following our Lord’s creed,” Luther said.

My eyes are rolling so far back in my skull they actually hurt.

WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE LIKE THIS.

           “We have committed to repairing this family.” (…)

           “Enlighten us,” Andrew said. (…) “If the first step isn’t tolerance, where does a pair of bigots begin in fixing a mess like this?”

           Luther met Andrew’s stare with a calm one of his own. “With reparations for past mistakes. That is why you are here.”

With these cryptic words, Luther and Andrew disappear into the kitchen after dinner for some Fun Talk Times, of which we hear exactly nothing. Then, Luther comes back – Andrew doesn’t.

And when Neil inquires after what’s taking Andrew so long – that is when I start understanding why everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, has warned me about this chapter.

           “In fact, I think it’s promising he has been gone this long. He’ll come back when he’s finished speaking with Drake.”

           Neil’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

SAME, NEIL.

FUCKING WHAT.

           “This dinner was not originally our idea,” Luther said. “One of Andrew’s former foster brothers came to us for help. They parted on unfriendly terms years ago, and it’s been so long since they last spoke he’s afraid their relationship is irreparably damaged. It made us think of our own familial problems and we were inspired to reach out again.”

This was the moment I started gripping my book so tight I almost ripped it, and did not let go until the chapter was over.

Neil gets his massive racquet, gets Aaron, and gets the fuck up the stairs to find Andrew.

And Andrew he finds.

I’m not quoting anything graphic here because we all fucking know what happens and I don’t wanna make anyone read that again but WHAT THE FUCK.

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCVK

At first I’d just thought they’d had a fight, shared a few punches, and then it HIT ME and I was SCREAMING, I HAVE NOT STOPPED SCREAMING FOR FOUR HOURS NOW WHAT THE F U C K.

And if all that wasn’t enough –

           Neil saw too much blood and too much skin. He knew what he was seeing, knew what this meant, but couldn’t believe it yet. That didn’t stop him from leaping at Drake.

           Aaron was faster.

AARON. FUCKING AARON.

WHAT ARE YOU THE FUCK DOING WHAT HAVE YOU DONE OH MY G O D.

THIS BOOK JUST WENT FROM ‘EDGY AND ANGSTY WITH A DASH OF IMPLIED VIOLENCE’ TO ‘ACTUALLY ILLEGALY VIOLENT AS IN FUCKING M U R D E R’ IN THE SPAN OF THREE PAGES.

WHAT

THE

FUCK

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          Andrew wore only his shirt as he lay facedown on the mattress. He was covered in blood and a hundred shadows that would darken to terrible bruises. He held onto the headboard like he was glued to it, and he was laughing.

Cue the moment my heart fucking broke.

           “Got quiet all of a sudden,” Andrew said, sounding surprised. (…) “Oh, oh, that’s unpleasant. I am not a fan of this at all.” (…) Andrew’s grin was wide and savage as he mocked his own pain.

Andrew. Andrew. ANDREW.

I cannot even put my feelings into words, just – ANDREW.

           The strangled noise Aaron made was his best attempt at Andrew’s name. Andrew, who’d barely acknowledged Aaron’s existence in the entire time Neil had known them, looked immediately to his brother. (…)

           “Andrew,” Aaron said, desperate and frightened. He held onto Andrew like he thought Andrew would disappear if he let go.

AARON. Andrew. Aaron. AARON AND ANDREW.

This is the first time I see them as brothers, not just as two people who happen to look the same. They didn’t even look the same in my head before.

Now they do, and I can picture them clear as day, sitting on a blood-splattered bed, two identical small blonde figures clinging onto each other as if their lives depend on it.

Don’t ask me if I am fucking okay. Don’t.

           Andrew touched Aaron’s temple where he himself was injured as if he expected to find an identical injury there. “Did he touch you?”

HOW IS THAT YOUR MAIN PRIORITY RIGHT NOW.

I have a very, very clear idea of how that is his main priority right now. And I am NOT FCUKING LIKING IT WHAT THE SHITS.

Oh, look – the rest of the family is here.

You know what’s also here?

The fucking pinpoint moment I start going from ‘I guess I like Andrew he has cool moments and he’s an interesting character’ to ‘I LOVE THIS MURDER MANIAC KITTEN MORE THAN MYSELF AND I WANT TO PROTECT HIM ALWAYS’

           “Don’t ask what. You know better. (…) Or do you still think this is a big misunderstanding? Go on, tell me again how I’m too unbalanced to understand normal brotherly love and affection. Tell me this is natural.”

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.

IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED, PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME, WHAT THE FUCK.

           “Speaking of misunderstandings, am I remembering this wrong, or didn’t you promise me you would talk to Cass? You told me she wasn’t going to foster any more children after me, but apparently she’s had six more since I left juvie. (…) How many do you think were in her house when Drake was home between deployments?”

NO

NO FUCK NO, IS THIS FOR REAL WHAT!!!!!!!!! THE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!

           “Now you let him into your house,” Andrew said. “You put him under the same roof as your son, as my brother. After everything I did to keep them away from each other?”

This is decidedly NOT GOING INTO A DIRECTION I’M LIKING.

They didn’t know. They didn’t know about all this shit, nobody knew, this has happened so many times before, and nobody knew, and the only person who did know, the only person Andrew opened up to, told him he had misunderstood being raped.

I am going to be fucking sick.

           Andrew peeled his armbands off one at a time and dropped them into Neil’s lap.

           He said something, but Neil didn’t hear him. The pale shade of scarred skin was too familiar and too startling for him not to react.

Sorry to disappoint – I’d love to be all shocked about this, except I’ve seen a billion pieces of fanart with his scars, and I also kinda had the idea myself already.

Not shocked does not mean not emotional, however. ANDREW.

A N D R E W.

The chapter is over. They’re waiting for the police and the ambulance, and the chapter is done, and I had to stuff my arm into my mouth so many times to keep me from screaming.

I have never loved Andrew more than in this very minute. Never. I am now sold on this character.

He could probably bench-press me with his attitude alone and definitely does not need my protection, but I will still protect the absolute everloving fuck out of him.

I need a moment. Or fifty.

Nicki out.

#nicki reads tfc #tfc #trk #aftg #the foxhole court #the raven cycle #all for the game #tw rape #tw violence #tw death #you guys should know these but I'm putting them on here anyways because that shit is hardcore #I'm not even adding my kofi info this time i am so SHOOK #if ya wanna you know where to find a link #Imma need a break

[kpopstarsreact]

Djinn AU : Part 2 - Waking Up

>>Part one found here<<

What is a Djinn? A Djinn is a  spirit  often  capable  of assuming  human  or  animal  form  and  exercising  supernatural influence  over  people. Also known to some as genie’s, the Djinn is rumored to be able to grant wishes and create vivid visions.

Pairing: Jaebum + Reader

Genre: Djinn au / genie au / supernatural / angst

Warnings: Strong language / mention of violence

Summary: Being knocked out and unable to move would have been bad enough after having been kidnapped by a djinn disguised as your cat for God knows how long. But when you finally wake up, you realize that you’re going to not only have survive Jaebum to get back to the human world, but Jaebum’s enemies as well.

Word count: 3k

A/N: Part two is finally here everyone! I worked harder on this fic than I have on any other for a very long time. I hope you all enjoy it!

writing below the cut~

Mumbling... Do I hear- Do I hear someone talking?

It was like you were underwater. The darkness still surrounding you, suffocating and close enough that it felt as if it would snuff out any ounce of light that attempted to touch you for the rest of eternity.

At this point you didn’t know if the darkness was because you were merely asleep and caught in a restless dream, or if it was all real and the Djinn that had called itself Jaebum lived inside the darkness itself.

"A human...” the mumbling continued with you only able to fully make out random words.

Is it just the Djinn talking to himself, or to me? Did I pass out? A-am I under another spell that prevents me from seeing or hearing who... what he was talking to?

You couldn’t even tell if the shudder that racked through your body actually happened or if you only imagined feeling the rough terrycloth fabric beneath your bare arms as you shook.

You were about to see if you could scream your way to awakening when the muttering voices started becoming clearer.

“Yes, but a Mortal?”

“...keeping her forever.”

Then as if your ears popped, the voices all came flooding in completely.

“Damn it Jaebum!” Male. It was a male with a crisp, clear, very aggravated voice. You wanted to escape from him, from the utter wrath in his voice. The only movement you could manage as you strained was to turn your head slowly, twitching your fingers at the same time.

Damn it... What the hell did he do to me?

Your eyes still remained glued shut as the first voice continued. “I don’t care that you want to keep it, it’s a human! In our world. There hasn’t been a stray human outside of the Kings care in the in-between for millions of years. And there’s a damn good reason why.”

You couldn’t see what you assumed was Jaebum’s indifferent face as he retorted calmly, “But she’s different.” She. Not an it, but you were a she and not just an object to him at least. “I’m telling you she’s unlike any human I’ve come across in my life time.”

“Well it could be fun...” There was a third man in the room. This one’s voice was laced with laughter and mischief. “We could keep her in a state of REM, like she is now. She won’t see and won’t be able to move, but she can hear and understand what we say so we can describe all the odd stuff around her and you read her mind as she freaks out~”

Sick bastards. You decided that you trusted the third voice least of all. All you could do was to vow to memorize the voices you heard in case they ever forgot to put the spell back on you and you finally got to see the owners of them.

At least if you knew their personalities and how they spoke, you wouldn’t be at a complete disadvantage.

“You,” Jaebum spoke then. His voice came out deep and rough, and he was damn pissed about what that male had said. “are the most insufferable ass I have ever met BamBam.” At this point there were little pains all over your body now as you slowly awakened. It felt as if every limb you owned had fallen asleep, and were now slowly filling up with blood again, the pins and needles poking you everywhere. “You put any kind of spell on her that I do not permit and I swear to you that I will take the smallest, sharpest sliver of iron that I can find and I will use it on you in the worst ways possible. That goes for both of you.”

You regained feeling so slowly that you could cry. You didn’t know if you’d be able to tolerate the sharp, vibrating pains all over your body for the rest of your life. You felt like you’d be stuck listening to their voices drone on forever about your fate.

“Woah, chill out Jaebum!” The one called BamBam chirped, completely unfazed by Jaebum’s low, snarling voice. “It was just a suggestion.”

The first one that had spoken cleared his throat slightly then before Jaebum could explode on BamBam, and it sounded as if the entire room had stilled once again.

“There is no way that we’re keeping a mortal as a pet. End of story.”

“But Jinyoung~” BamBam whined. “Mortals are so unique in their realm and everyone in the in-between is so uptight. It would be fun! Just think of the face of your father when he sees-”

“No.” Jinyoung’s voice was short and final. “My father can’t know that she was ever here to begin with. He would sentence us all to death.”

Finally you were able to move little enough to sit upwards, opening your eyes slowly. By the time your eyes were all the way open, all three... demons? Angels? More Djinn? Whatever they were, all three of them were staring at you with various emotions on their faces.

“It seems to have awakened.” You recognized his smooth and light voice that was full of confidence as Jinyoung’s.

What the hell is he?

Your eyes had to be playing tricks on you. Jinyoung had long, pointed ears, the most delicate yet sharp features you had ever seen, and a slim yet muscular build. He was tall- at least he seemed tall from where you were slouching against the bed frame on pink terrycloth sheets. Every part of him seemed to be a contradiction. He was dressed in all white despite his intensely dark attitude, a lone long sword strapped to his back even though he looked too delicate to belong in a battle.

The other one, BamBam, had burgundy ears sprouting from atop his white-blonde hair and a tail matching in color wrapped around his waist from where he perched atop the clean white and black marbled kitchen counters. His clothing looked more mortal than the other two. In fact, he looked like he’d just walked off of a Calvin Cline runway show. He smiled at you, two long white canine teeth glittering in the kitchen light, tilting his head to the side slightly like a stray cat sizing up it’s next meal.

You didn’t know what was more shocking. The insanely breath-taking physical attributes of Jinyoung, the cat ears, tail, and teeth attached to BamBam, or that the house that you were currently being held captive in wasn’t a cave full of fire and bloody corpses from previous victims.

Jaebum glared daggers at Jinyoung. “She is awake.” Jaebum corrected him indignantly, earning an equally evil glare from Jinyoung. “She may be mortal, but it’s rather rude to call my guest an “it” don’t you think?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jinyoung snarled, stepping closer and closer to Jaebum’s face as he talked, “if she’s a gods damned queen back in her realm!” He stopped mere away from Jaebum, their eyes both so intense that you swore you could see fire dancing behind them. BamBam was behind them both, still smiling from ear to ear. His gaze had thankfully gone from you to the two males snarling at each other in fascination and- amusement. That was pure amusement dancing behind his widened blue feline eyes. You reaffirmed your choice to trust him the least... He had to be insane. “She’s a fucking human Jaebum. She doesn’t belong here.”

Jaebum dared half a step closer to Jinyoung to snarl his response, “Look, she’s my possession now, just like your own father possesses humans himself even even after his reign. He’s as much royal as I am at this point so why can I not do the same as him?” Jaebum’s face contorted into cold, hard confidence. “It’s not like he’s the king of anything anymore, he’s just as plain as you or I.”

BamBam’s absolutely delighted look in that moment should have told you alone how bad that statement would effect Jinyoung. From his look alone you became too afraid to talk even long enough to ask who they were. You instantly filled with gratitude that you had stayed smart enough not to try and speak when your eyes slid back to Jinyoung once again.

Jinyoung’s face was crestfallen. His eyes were slit in fury, his mouth pursed together as tightly as his clenching fists. You could feel his power intensifying by the second even a room away from him.

It registered in the back of your mind then that you would be able to move again if you tried to, but you were too wise to try with Jinyoun looking like he was going to kill whatever or whoever breathed next.

“Were done here.” If you would have dared to blink in that moment you would have missed Jinyoung disappearing into a small ball of blue-white light. The rooms tension lifted instantly with the light’s disappearance, and BamBam dissolved into a fit of laughter.

“I can’t believe you talked to the exile prince like that! Ooooh,” he rocked back from his spot on the counter and twitched his tail excitedly, “he’s going to get you back for that later.”

Jaebum’s face was now stone cold. “Let him come at me with whatever he has. If he starts a war over this, it’s only because he’s been itching to kill us ever since we refused to help the other from destroying his wretched fathers kingdom.”

Jaebum’s eyes slid to your slumped figure on the bed before you had time to disguise your horrified face.

“Oh...” His eyes softened visibly. “I’m sorry I almost forgot that you’re awake Y/n. How much did you see exactly?”

You avoided looking over at BamBam once again so you didn’t have to see his intensely feline eyes focusing once again on you as you struggled to speak through your dry, chapped lips.

“I-” attempting to clear your throat but only feeling the scraping of dryness, you tried to ask for water instead of answering his question, but Jaebum had read your mind once again and was beside you in an instant with a glass in his hand.

“Shh. Here.” Despite the voices in your head telling you to not drink it, that there was poison in it, you grabbed it and downed it desperately. “I know how bad your throat must hurt. Human’s tend to dehydrate when they travel between dimensions. It’s has something to do with the difference in the atmosphere and weather conditions or whatever.”

He smiled softly at you. You had no clue why he’d look at you so fondly with you sitting there awkwardly, barely having control over your own limbs enough to guzzle the water without spilling half of it on your shirt and all over the pristine new covers.

You still felt fear but... Somehow you felt a little better sitting here with Jaebum so close to you again. It was almost as if your cat Dean were curled up against you once again, giving you comfort after a long exhausting day.

You shook your head at the though, realizing how insane you had to have become. Jaebum might have been Dean but... He had also been the one to kidnap you.

You decided to ignore the safe feeling and chalked it up to deliria from dehydration as well as the shock from being taken by a supernatural creature that you hadn’t know existed just hours before.

It had just been a few hours right? Not that much time could have possibly passed...

“J-Jaebum...” He nodded at you patiently. He was finally going to let you speak despite his ability to read your mind. At least he was being polite about it now. “How long...” Your throat still ached, and though your stomach ached from guzzling all that water you were still parched. “Has it been since you took me?”

A snicker errupted from the kitchen, filling the split second of silence that had followed your question. “Shits about to get good!”

Jaebum’s face went from soft and kind to hard and aggravated in a split second.

He turned to glare daggers at BamBam. “Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”

“I have literally no place I’d rather be then here for when you tell her that she’s been knocked out for-”

A loud growl burst from Jaebum’s throat making you jerk back instinctively, and instantly you filled with horror that you had lost fear for such a ferocious creature for even a moment. He sounded like a lion about to kill another male over territory. He sounded like a beast. He sounded like a demon.

You dared to tear your eyes from Jaebum for a moment to see BamBam’s ears flattened back against his head, his lips pulled back into a hiss. BamBam lifted himself up so his feet and both hands were on the counter, and he pounced onto the kitchen table and out the window in the next heartbeat.

“Damn asshole.” Jaebum muttered, turning back to you with an intense, though less intimidating, stare.

“How long?” You’d asked him before you lost your nerve again. He could read your mind anyway. He would know that you needed to know.

“Two and a half months.” He kept talking even as your jaw went slack and your eyes nearly popped out of your skull from widening so much. “I managed to keep you safe and out of harms way until today when Jinyoung’s little buddy Jackson came over to annoy me again.”

You opened your mouth to try to speak but failed. There was no spell involved this time. You were just so utterly shocked that it had been almost three months since he’d taken you that you had lost the ability to form coherent sentences.

You hadn’t even realized that Jaebum was still talking until your mind caught up to the information a few seconds later. “...and he only does it to annoy me. Jackson plays cute just like all other Pixies do until you finally realize that by following the cute, shy little creature to gawk at them, you’d actually been lured to your own death. Mischievous little shits Pixies are. You’ll do well to stay the hell away from the lot of them.” His kind smile returned again, humor softening his sharp eyes this time. “Not that I’ll let you have much time to leave the house without me. It’s too easy to find your death here.”

“I-I don’t even have the capability to ask you how the fuck these things exist or even what the fuck all these creatures here are... Just please take me back. My mom must be worried sick and I-I...” the droplets of your tears hit your hands before you even realized that you were crying. You paused just long enough to sniff back the snot you knew would start dripping from your nose in any moment. Your voice got higher pitched the longer you spoke, so you tried to keep your speech short before your pitch became so high that probably only BamBam could understand you. “Why did you do this to me?”

His eyes didn’t change at all seeing you cry. He still had humor behind them, his smile still stretched out across his face unchanging. That damn softness in his face even as you came near hysterical. “Your mom still thinks you’re in the mortal world and that you’re perfectly safe. Don’t worry about it my darling.”

He reached out a hand and softly brushed a tear away. You were too frozen from the sudden touch that you didn’t jerk away like you should have. He paused with his fingers still touching your cheeks lightly. “You’ll learn to not be afraid of me soon Y/n. You’ll see. I’ll protect you. You won’t be alone in this world.”

With each word your soul filled up with more fear, more hopelessness, and somehow even a spark of anger was able to shine through the all the horror. You were going to be trapped here forever... and those other things, those other creatures Jaebum was talking to...

“J-Jinyoung is going to want to kill me. Isn’t he?”

Jaebum’s face darkened and he pulled away his hand from you. “Possibly. But I won’t let him. I have creatures on my side just like he does.” Jaebum stood up suddenly, grabbing the now empty glass that you’d forgotten was clutched between your hands. “I’m going to get you more water, and then I’ll tell you about my allies. You’re going to need to know about them if you’re going to live here since they’ll pop up now and again.”

You thought you had officially gone crazy at hearing the soft giggling that responded to Jaebum’s mention of his allies. You thought so until you felt a shifting on the bed, and looked over to see another strange and red-eyed man sitting there, merely inches away from you.

“Why hello there dearie!” A scream ripped from your throat and you scrambled to get away from him, falling off the side of the bed in your haste. He only giggled more at you, earning a shout from Jaebum.

You had thought you had finally gotten away from the other strange creatures of this realm, but you were damn wrong. This creature had straight long blonde-brown hair, a rounded face with completely flawless skin, a body almost as long and lithe as Jinyoung’s though a bit more toned with muscle, and the most deep blood red eyes you had only ever imagined in your deepest nightmares. They piratically glowed as the light danced off of them, his black pupils impossibly dark for his bright and happy looking face.

“Yah!” Jaebum shouted again when Younjae didn’t tear his eyes away from yours, his smile rooted into place. “Youngjae you rude ass. Announce yourself before you teleport here or you might scare Y/n to her literal death.”

“What the fuck are you...?” You huddled in the corner by were you fell, still too scared to move much further in case Jaebum saw it as an attempt to escape.

Youngjae laughed as if that were the funniest thing he’d ever heard, his laugh child-like and impossibly cheerful. His laugh didn’t match his eyes at all. A shiver crept up your spine when he didn’t stop despite Jaebum’s glaring at him.

“He’s a cross-road demon.” Jeabum’s eyes shifted to your, “He makes deals with mortals on behalf of hell.”

“Yep!” Your eyes darted back to Youngjae and he winked at you with that damn smile still plastered to his face. “Choi Youngjae, cross-road demon extraordinaire and Jaebum’s right hand man at your service! It’s nice to meet you. Something tells me we’ll be seeing a lot of each other over the next few millennia.” He snickered gleefully again, “Unless Jinyoung and his crew kill you first that is.”

“But,” Jaebum intervened before fear overtook you completely once again, “we won’t let that happen, will we Youngjae?”

“Of course not. But we’re going to have to gather the team in case that jack-ass comes for us.” He looked to you again and raised his eyebrows. “And something, oops! I mean someone, tells me that he is.”

“Well then Youngjae,” Jaebum turned on the sink water to finally fill the empty glass in his hands. “You’d better get out there and start spreading the word to the team to meet here then.”

Youngjae’s smile turned twisted, showing less innocence and more of what he truly was somewhere deep inside of him past the child-like joy he projected. “Yes sir~”

He turned to wink at you one last time before he rapidly started folding into himself and disappearing entirely.

At this point, you weren’t even shocked that he could literally fold into himself in order to disappear. You were past shock now, only numb acceptance taking it’s place.

Something told you that if that was the kind of guy your protection was up to, then you were royally screwed. Cross-road demons, djinns, and other odd creatures or not.

“Finally.” Jaebum said, turning off the sink and walking back to you with the glass of water, “we’re completely alone now.”

#boy group writers net #got7snet #got7 au #got7 drabble #got7 fic #got7 imagine #got7 scenraio #got7 supernatural au #got7 djinn au #djinn au #supernatural au #im jaebum #jaebum #jaebum au #jaebum drabble #jaebum djinn au #jaebum djinn! au #jaebum supernatural au #jaebum supernatural! au #jaebum scenario #jaebum imagine #djinn #queue #damn this was long

[mxn-jeon]

Brick*

Min Yoongi | college!au | fluff | 3.1k words

You know that your dorm is made of brick, but you’re pretty sure that brick is not supposed to let sound travel like this.

You’re having a terrible day and all you want to do is sleep.

*repost of my story prior to deleting my blog jan 2017 

It’d been a long day.

It all started when you’d woken up a little bit late, having studied all night for an exam you had today. In your haste, you’d accidentally rushed off to class still in your sleep clothes: basketball shorts and an old band t-shirt. It was a brisk 40 out and you were intolerant of the cold, but there was nothing to be done about it now—the prof took attendance and you’d better be there at 8am—or else.

You sprinted out of your dorm, cursing the weather as you began to run the gauntlet through your classes. It was a Wednesday, and Wednesdays were the worst. You hadn’t originally organized your schedule this way, but the registration powers-that-be had wrecked you and no amount of begging with the registrar would save your sorry second-semester freshman ass.

You’d managed the first few weeks, but things were starting to get ridiculous. Wednesdays happened to have five classes: 3 lectures and 2 three-hour labs in straight succession, with no time for lunch. Class started at 8 and ended at 5. It was normally better because you could chow down granola bars between classes, but of course—you’d forgotten to put them in your bag as you ran out the door this morning.

Last semester, you’d been more than willing to skip classes, which had sort of sunk your GPA. You were in no such state to do so this time round: since you’d been unable to get into most of the big intro-level classes, you’d been forced to register for unknown professors and small class-sizes.

They all knew your name by now…and they weren’t afraid to use it.

Fortunately, first two classes went by without much event, but it wasn’t long before your body started protesting from neglect. Skipping breakfast was fine, but lunch was not. Halfway through your 11AM, your stomach began to grumble acutely.

You ignored its guttural protests even as you speedwalked to your first lab (although the sun was out now, it was only marginally warmer)…only to realize as you walked through the door that you hadn’t dressed according to lab standards: shorts were a big no.

Too late. The TA gave you a once-over and disapprovingly sent you back in the direction you’d came from. Reluctantly you speedwalked back to your dorm, threw on a pair of pants and a jacket and made a quick cup of instant coffee.

You chugged it as you walked back, scarfing down a granola bar and feeling like a slightly improved version of yourself. However, your mood quickly turned sour as you got back to lab and were pulled out by your TA, who none-to-gently informed you that you’d gotten points deducted off your lab score for being tardy and for not following lab safety protocol.

A cloud hung over you for the remainder of the lab, and your type-A lab partner was hardly enthusiastic with your missing prelab and general cluelessness. You asked questions, trying to keep up, but her answers had become shorter and less informative as time passed. Frustrated, you’d finally reached for a pair of tweezers as she’d snarked out: “I can do it myself, just don’t mess anything up and look like you’re doing something without doing something when the TA comes by!”

Chastised, you sat mutely in your seat for the remainder of the lab, trying not to make the metal parts squeak as you scuffed your shoes against the linoleum and copied your partner’s notes robotically.

The second lab fared no better: it was more talking than doing, which was good for you, but bad for your woozy brain. You found yourself dozing off on the edge of the lecture, and almost swayed off your seat several times.

The caffeine was obviously not working. You sleepily wondered why.

(Little did you know that on your desk, in fact, was the wrapper of a decaf pack. Half of your coffee supply was, actually—your mother had snuck those in, worried for your health).

You dragged yourself through the last lab of the day. Now, you had the big elephant to worry about: today was your first exam of the semester—unfortunately scheduled for 6-8pm, thanks to “departmental reasons”. You were sure the university was conspiring against you, but you managed your first real meal of the day before dashing off to the testing location on the other side of campus.

By this point, you were sleep-deprived and brain-dead, having had to study most of the night before. Unfortunately, you became the most sluggish at the onset of the two-hour exam, and found yourself struggling to stay awake. You begged your brain to stay on, but it refused to jump through any of the hoops the problems presented, and with a heavy heart and hand you scrawled some work onto the pages and turned it in as time was called.

Just as you were dragging your miserable self out of the lecture hall, you checked your messages, and you’d gotten a slew of texts from the choreographer of the kpop dance team you were on, thirty minutes ago.

“Y/N, can you come to the rec center? We’re practicing formations right now and you need to be here. The performance is literally this Saturday and I can’t let you perform if you’re not at this critical practice.”

“Shit,” you curse as you tap out a reply, suddenly wide awake. I just got through 9 hours of class and a 2 hour exam, can I please just not come? I promise I’ll make it up, please??

The response is quicker than you expect. We’re filming the preliminary video at the end of practice today, and the organizers want the lineup and everything as it’s supposed to be for the event by midnight tonight. If you don’t show, you don’t go.

A few seconds later: I’m really sorry, but an entire semester’s worth of practice is going to be for nothing if you can’t make it today.

Gritting your teeth, you reply. Fine. Be there in 10.

 Two and a half hours of dance practice and some walking time later, a quivering hand unlocks your dorm room and body weakly crumples onto the floor in the dark.

Your roommate has been fast asleep for some time, judging by her snores. You’re ready to pass out like a week ago, sweat and death-feelings and all, but you’re convinced you should really shower. So into the shower you go and out you come, still exhausted but at least smelling nice.

Throwing yourself into bed, you close your eyes, ready to sleep. Your consciousness dims quickly and you sluggishly note that this must be where the term ‘out like a light’ comes from.

It’d been a long day.

 “Ah…AHH…ahhh…” From somewhere closer than you expected, you hear distinctively feminine moans.

You’re on the cusp of sleep. You don’t take much note of it until it repeats itself again a few seconds later, this time a little louder and more persistent.

Fuck, I just hope that’s someone who stubbed their toe.

Another set of ‘ah’s and your mind fabricates a short list of possibilities, ruling through all but one as some loud bed-banging noises add to the mix.

You know that your dorm is made of brick, but you’re pretty sure that brick is not supposed to let sound travel like this.

You close your eyes and pray that they’ll disappear. Unfortunately, this only serves to make the mysterious girl’s moans more insistent.

“What the hell? Can’t they go fuck somewhere else?” You spit into the dark, pulling the sheets up over your head and realizing they muffle nothing.

Also, the girl’s voice is sounding awfully familiar.

You try to remember who it is exactly that lives next door to you, and your eyes widen as memories slide into place.

“Fuck, that’s my freshman advisor next door…ugh, EW, fuck no just stop alsdkjfhlakwejfh”

You’re embarrassed that her sex noises are now part of your head’s repertoire of “heard noises”, but you were too embarrassed to go over and tell her to stop, much less bang on the wall. She’s not even someone you like that much, but you like her even less now for cutting into your much-needed sleep time.

You can’t help but notice that her moans are the same pitch. Damn, that guy must be some boring shaft work that guy’s giving her if she can’t even do more than make the same noise like a parrot, you think, gaining a small bit of satisfaction from the idea.

Despite your exhaustion, you try to think rationally, and decide to throw your noise-canceling headphones on and try to sleep.

You quickly discover they apparently are not animal-noise canceling, and the grunting and moans from next door can still be heard, albeit a bit muted.

You tolerate another 20 minutes of it by watching Weekly Idol before you want to start screaming bloody murder. Collecting yourself, you open the door to your room, let yourself out into the hall and stand there, listening. There’s no noise. You begin wondering whether it would be sensible to sleep out in the hall, no matter how ratchet it would be, since the doors seem to block the noise better than the walls did. No one really ever came down to your part of the hall, anyway—there were only four doors at this end, and one of them was fire exit.

By this point, you’re desperate enough to do anything, and you turn around to go back into your room—only to realize as you try the door handle that you left your keys and your phone inside the room.

Fuck. fuckfuckfuckufkuckukf

At this point, you’re borderline hysterical. You’ve had like 2 hours of sleep over the past 48 hours and too many classes and not enough food and just too much shit and you’ve seriously just had it.

Your brain insipidly cards through options. Your roommate sleeps like a rock so she’d never wake up, even if you threw a grenade at the door. The RA on your floor was probably out pregaming for Thursday (which was pregaming for Friday, according to him). The only people that would have spare keys would be the janitorial staff and the dorm staff, neither of which were around at this hour. To top it all off, you still have the sex soundtrack of your (now) most hated advisor stuck in your head.

And you? You just want to fucking sleep.

Curling up into a ball outside of your room, you think that you fit the definition of ‘annoyed to tears’ to a T. You wonder if sleeping in a manger with some hay and barn animals would be better. Barn animals would be better than the two next door. After all, baby Jesus slept in heavenly peace.

More thoughts run through your head, and in your emotional state, you hardly register the creak of a door opening until you hear insistent banging against a door and an angry, lazy drawl call out.

“What the actual FUCK! Are you broadcasting this shit? Shut up already! Neither of you are good at fucking so just go the fuck to sleep like normal people so that us normal people can sleep!”

At this, you look up, surprised. A boy in a black hoodie, basketball shorts and flip flops stands facing the door with a look of irritation spread across his features. Your vision blurs as several tears slip out, unbeckoned, and you swipe them away with your shirt sleeve.

“They keeping you up too? Can’t sleep either?” the boy asks sympathetically, voice softer and more gentle, turning to face you.

You blank. Your next coherent thought: Wow. Is that the boy that lives in the room next to my advisor?

Despite towering over you and your face being a good length away from his face, you can tell that this boy is very good-looking, if a bit pale. You remember the namecard on his door from passing it countless times: Min Yoongi.

Has this gem been living one door down this entire time? you think to yourself, flushing a little.

“Yeah,” you reply simply, closing your eyes and lowering your head, hoping he wouldn’t look too closely at you. You’re a mess of nerves and desperate sleepiness, how embarrassing.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks, and suddenly a warm hand is on your back and he’s sitting down next to you with a soft exhale, oof.

He’s warm, you think happily.

“I just want to sleep,” you mumble, your voice muffled through your hair.

Yoongi smiles a little at that. He does, too, but the sight of you, a girl he barely even knows, huddled up out in the hall for the same reason he came out to yell at the people next door, made him feel as though he might be a little bit more in control of his life at the moment.

“Hey, I’m sure they’ll stop now that I’ve yelled at them.” He pauses. Faintly, the two of you hear muted yelling from within the room. You lift up your head and give him a wide-eyed look.

He put his ear to the door for a few seconds, then yelled, “She was definitely faking it! No one moans like that during orgasm!”

You start giggling at the absurdity of it all—you had the same thought earlier, but he shushes you with an evil grin. “You should get back in your room and go to sleep before they come out and see us here,” he says.

Your face falls as you remember. “I’m locked out, I left my keys inside when I came out here,”

“Mmm…no one with keys will be around until tomorrow morning either, huh. Well, you can sleep in my room, on my bed,” he offers. “I think it’s better than if you sleep out in the hall. I’d feel better, at least.”

You’re hesitant at first, but the idea of sleep soon overwhelms any misgivings, and has you unsteadily clutching onto his hoody with agreement as you enter his room.

You gasp. His room looks like a studio: keyboard, stereo speakers, wires laptop and a glowing array of equipment and soundboards grace the expanse of the desk, with a heavily scribbled-in notebook spotlighted in the middle of the fray. One bed is lofted over the setup, the other on the far wall and a rug spread out in between with a few cozy chairs.  

“Wow, this is so…wow,” you say dumbly.

He laughs at your reaction, eyes crinkling. “Thanks,”

“Also, you’re into music? That’s cool!” you chirp excitedly, captivated by the buttons, dials and lights of the various consoles.

“Yeah, my roommate Namjoon and I share this deck since we’re both into the same sort of stuff,” He rubs his neck sheepishly. “Speaking of which, he’s staying out all night so you can sleep in my bed, and I’ll sleep in his.”

“Are you sure?” you ask hesitantly.

He doesn’t even bother to respond, hoisting you up the ladder. Your cheeks flush at the contact of his hands grasped around your waist. “Positive. I’m going to do a bit more work before I go to sleep.”

You hum in response as you clamber up the ladder. A bed has never looked so inviting. You tiredly crawl in and pull the blankets up over you, noting in the back of your mind that the bed smells distinctly not like teenage boy and distinctly like Yoongi. It’s nice. You settle in with a satisfied sigh.

Just as you’re about to drift off to sleep, you think of something. “I don’t think I ever told you my name?” you say, or you think you say, before your light goes out and your breathing deepens into the pattern of sleep.

From under the bed, Yoongi hears it. “It’s Y/N,” he says softly. “Y/N.”

 Namjoon gets back around 2AM, ushering himself in with a slammed door.

“Oh good, you’re still awake--” he manages to get out before Yoongi shushes him, looking up from his notebook.

“Shh, someone’s sleeping.”

Namjoon laughed, voice still as loud as ever. “That’s a good one. What the hell are you talking about man? If you’re not sleeping then who could be?”

“Joon, keep it down. It’s a friend. She was locked out of her room and she’s super tired so I just let her sleep here.”

The younger one quirked an eyebrow. “A girl? I’m surprised at you, hyung. Where are you going to sleep, then, if she’s in your bed? There’s not enough space for two, unless you’re holding onto her real tight so that she doesn’t fall off…” His eyebrows wagged up and down as he gave Yoongi a look.

The elder shook his head furiously. “Ya, I wouldn’t dream of it, you pervert! I’ll just sleep on the beanbag or the floor or something.”

“Ok, if you say so.,” Namjoon replied, shaking his head with a smile. “Also, didn’t you say you were going to sleep like 4 hours ago, also? What happened to that?”

Yoongi flushed. “Well, I started working on another project,”

“Sure, sure you weren’t just looking at this girl and taking pictures of her while she’s asleep.”

“YA! KIM NAMJOON!”

Namjoon put a finger to his lips as he smiled cheekily. “Hey, hey, quiet down! Your friend’s sleeping.”

Grumbling, Yoongi mumbled curses under his breath as Namjoon stripped down to his boxers.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Yoongi asked from the chair, his voice a little sharp as the other man put his foot on the first rung.

“What I normally do before I go to sleep?” Namjoon replied back questioningly. “What, what’s wrong?”

Yoongi gritted his teeth. “Can you at least put on a shirt and some pants to sleep? There’s a girl in the room.”

“Whoa, hyung, she’s asleep! It’s not like she can’t see anything.”

“What if she wakes up and sees you? Wouldn’t it make her uncomfortable? Just, just, do it. Please.”

The two boys made eye contact in the dim room. A short staring contest later (which Yoongi won), Namjoon removed his foot from the ladder with a sigh. “Fine, I’ll do it for you hyung. I can’t sleep like this but just because you asked, I’ll do it.”

“Thanks, Joon,” Yoongi replied, feeling more relieved.

Namjoon pulled out a tee and some shorts from his closet and put them on. Stretching out his arms, he turned to the elder. “There. Happy?”

“Yes.”

Grumbling, he ascended the ladder and fell into his bed eagerly. Once he’d finished rustling the sheets, he closed his eyes, ready for sleep to claim him at last---

“Hey, do you think there’s room up there for one more?” Yoongi joked.

He was pegged in the head with a pillow. “Shut up, hyung.”

 It’d been a long day. But, the morning would find Yoongi sprawled out in the beanbag with the notebook on his lap, lyrics scrawled all over the page about a locked-out girl who’d just become his latest muse.

note: yes this is my story. still unedited. rip my first fic

#min yoongi #suga #suga scenarios #min yoongi fics #min yoongi scenarios #bangtan fics #suga fluff #min yoongi fluff #bts fics #bangtan boys #i forgot how much i loathe tagging #kim namjoon #rap monster

[keichanz]

Fear

@inukag-week Day Two: Fear

This idea just ran away with me. I started it with one idea in mind, and ended it with something else all together different. It’s InuKag, but it’s...not? Er. Well it is, but. I mean it’s there definitely....ugh just read it. -_-

This came out longer than I wanted it to. I DONT KNOW HOW TO DRABBLE LMAO ;AJDFILAHFAJ;DHALFAFD HeLP

Fear.

 It was a word that, for a long time, I didn’t know the meaning of, and didn’t care to.  

 Well, okay, I know what it meant, I mean I’m not a dumbass, but just in the sense that it was something that I never really thought about or associated with me. Being scared doesn’t solve anything. If something scares you, destroy it. Hell, I wouldn’t be alive today if I’d been a scared little coward back when I was a scrawny whelp. If I’d jumped at every sound, hid from every shadow and fled from the slightest danger, I wouldn’t be as strong as I am now, wouldn’t know the things I do, because I didn’t have the balls to try. Being a kid was no excuse; I was on my own, I had no choice but to stay and fight most of the time if I wanted live to see the next sunrise. And okay, fine, those other times I fled and hid somewhere, but only because I knew I was in over my head and was smart enough not to tempt fate. And being a half-demon brat just made it ten times worse because things older and stronger than me purposely sought me out.

So, yeah. I know what fear is. But growing up a half-breed, if I wanted to live to enjoy my next meal, I being afraid wasn’t an option, so I just…wasn’t. That simple.

 But it wasn’t until later in my life, after I met a certain dark-eyed wench with a stubborn streak to match my own, that I learned that there were certain kinds of fear. Three, to be exact.

 Fear for yourself; fear for something else; and for of something else.

 Now I ain’t no “dik-shun-ary,” or whatever the hell Kagome calls that huge ass book she brought back from her time once, and maybe I’m wrong, but this is the way I see it. And if anyone wants to disagree, fuck ‘em.

 Anyway. Fear for yourself is pretty self-explanatory, so I won’t really go into depth with that. And like I said, even as a whelp I can’t really recall ever being truly frightened. I couldn’t afford to be; I was too busy trying to survive.

 Fear for something else, on the other hand, is completely different. Or perhaps I should say someone else. When you’re fearful for someone else’s life, a life in which was under your protection, your own life suddenly becomes forfeit, a sacrifice you’re willing to make in order for them to survive. You can’t breathe, you can’t think, your body suddenly feels slower than hell, like you’re moving through thick sludge, or your limbs are tied down by heavy weights. You don’t think you’re gonna make it in time, that you’re too late, too fucking slow, and your heart just stops, and you’re willing to do anything, anything if it means she survives, that her life is spared, and you find yourself prayin’ to any God that’ll listen to take your worthless life instead.

 What was that saying? “The only thing to fear, is fear itself”? Pretty damn accurate if I do say so.

 But then by some miracle, call it Fate or Destiny or some other such bullshit, you save her just in the nick of time and you’ve once more fulfilled your vow to protect her with your life. And the feeling that she’s alive, she’s in your arms, holding onto you so tightly and demanding to know if you’re alright, it’s….indescribable.

 Fearing for someone else’s life is, essentially, fearing for your own because she gradually becomes your life, your heart, your world.

 …Keh. A-anyway, moving on.

 I’ve covered fearing for your life and someone else’s; fear of something or someone else? Now that’s a whole other ballgame, to borrow a phrase Kagome likes to say.

 I ain’t ever been scared of nothin’. I’ve killed demons twice my twice and thrice my strength, took down the Band of Seven, destroyed what was most likely the greatest villain this time has ever seen, and managed to get through three long, torturous years without the woman I now call my wife.

 To this day I still think that last one is my greatest accomplishment. Kagome says it’s not murdering Miroku and Sango and tolerating their brats’ infatuation with my ears.

 And, well…she’s not wrong. This is the part where we usually agree to disagree.

 Anyway, that ain’t important. What I’m trying to say is, being afraid of something is similar to the other two, but not the same.

 It’s much, much worse.

 At first it appears the same; the shortness of breath, body frozen, paralyzed even, heart in your throat, waiting for the inevitable to happen, ready to jump into action at a moment’s notice, whether it be to flee or to fight. So knowing this, it ain’t a surprise that some people mistake it for fearing for that person’s life instead of being afraid of them.

 In some cases it’s obvious; if you’re facing off against something bigger, meaner and stronger than you, then you��re probably afraid of them and you should be running by now.

 In other cases, however, it can be quite different. See, instead of the thing being your ultimate fear, it can also be a weakness, something that can strip you of your power with a simple glance, a smile, a word. You’d do anything or them, bend over backwards, climb the highest mountain, and swim to the bottom of the deepest ocean. And just the fact that you’re willing to do any of that is what absolutely, utterly terrifies you.  

 For some people it can be an inanimate object or what have you; a drunkard’s sake, a wounded warrior’s sword, or it can even be an invisible fear. A threat, a broken heart, doubts slowly crushing your will.

 Then there are those who find their weakness in another living being. A husband’s adoring wife, maybe. Miroku’s a prime example of that. Sango’s got him by the balls and everyone knows it. Though really it’s anyone’s guess if he’s afraid for her or of her. Heh.

 I used to think that Kagome was mine, but I’ve come to realize that she is my strength.

 Instead? My weakness turned out to be little ears, golden eyes, and Kagome’s smile.

 Yeah, that’s right. A kid. My kid.

 My beautiful daughter.

 Me, a fully grown half-demon who’d taken down demons with nothing but my bare hands, who defeated Naraku, married the one woman who gave as good as she got, was utterly and completely terrified of a little girl with the cutest goddamn laugh and rosy, chubby cheeks.

 And there she goes again, giving me a goddamn heart attack every time she falls down in her many attempts to walk. Kagome was right there with her, though, ready to catch her and offering never ending encouragement and a kiss to the nose. Izayoi giggled, wind milled her little arms and spun around toward me again, taking one hesitant step forward.

 I smiled and crouched down a mere three feet away. “That’s it, Iz,” I said and held out my arms. “Come to papa.”

 As I watched our daughter slowly take her first steps toward me, I felt my throat go tight and a prickling sensation develop behind my eyes. God, but this little girl really was my weakness. With just a smile, she could bring me to my knees. At her laugh, I am hers for her every whim. And whenever she said—

 “Papa,” she squealed and propelled herself the rest of the way into my arms, tiny fingers clinging to my sleeves and my heart burst. Fighting back the tears that wanted to escape for some stupid reason, I gathered her close to me and hugged her tight, inhaling her sweet scent, aware of Kagome kneeling beside me, her hand on my shoulder, my pillar, my strength.

 Izayoi was content to be held for a mere few seconds before she started to squirm in my tight grasp so reluctantly I let her go so she could frolic in the grass, chasing butterflies.; a reward for all her hard work.

 Swallowing the lump in my throat I watched her crawl away from me, babbling happily to herself with the occasional “mama” and “papa” mixed in – the only words she knew. Kagome settled herself in front of me and I sat down so she sat between my raised knees, my arms wrapping around her waist and my chin resting on her head.

 Confident our little girl wouldn’t stray far, Kagome and I were content to just watch her play, laughing quietly to ourselves at some of her antics. I couldn’t help but flinch sometimes whenever she took a rough tumble or made a small noise of distress, and my body tensed as if in preparation to go to her several times, to save her from the unforgiving ground, but Kagome’s gentle touch to my hand or arm always calmed me settled me down. It was hard, but she was a tough little girl – being half-demon had its perks, after all – and I know she had to learn to pick herself back up whenever she fell and not rely so much on others.

 Didn’t mean I had to like it, though.

 Heaving a sigh, I dropped a kiss to Kagome’s head, and when she shifted a little to the side and leaned her head back on my shoulder, I glanced down to find her smiling knowingly at me and despite myself I felt my cheeks grow hot.

 “Keh,” I muttered and she chuckled.

 “I know,” she said and brushed a kiss against my jaw. I decided I wanted more than that and dipped my head to capture her mouth with mine. After several heated minutes and successfully leaving my wife red-faced and panting, Kagome regained her breath enough to continue, “It’ll get better, I promise. It’s always hard the first time around.”

 I stiffened and my eyes widened as I stared down at her. “F-first time…around?”

 My little wife looked rather sly as a smile slowly curled her lips upward and her eyebrows rose in mock innocence. “You didn’t think Iz would be our only child, did you, Inuyasha?” Keeping her gaze on mine, she took my hand and deliberately pressed it against her stomach as her smile widened ever so slightly.

 I blanched, and as Izayoi’s joyous laughter echoed in my ears, the word fear took on a whole new meaning.

#Inukag Week #inukag week day 2 #fear #inuyasha #kagome #papayasha #kagomom #fanbaby! #some fluff to offset the last one i submitted #lmao #fuck i'm tired #sorry its so late