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monty-glasses-roxy · 9 months

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SO THE RUIN DLC HUH

Most of this is going under a read more, I have a lot of thoughts and this is a long post.

SO. First things first. Roxy. My beloved Roxy. Oh my god guys oh my god. She was always Cassie’s favourite, she was upset to see her all ruined like that and Roxy recognised her!! This was the first time Roxy had called for Gregory by name and it was just to demand he give her eyes back. She never hurt Cassie. She stumbled back in shock at her and then fucking apologised!! And then she talked to Cassie about her birthday party like she still gave a shit!! And maybe she did!! She remembered her favourite birthday cake and was so supportive about all her friends coming to the next party!! That line about how Cassie was eleven and that she remembered because she’s the number one twice? That sounds like something she’s repeated from Cassie herself. That is so fucking sweet I am never gonna be over that whole interaction while Cassie is literally holding her hand. Roxy is in trouble and her first priority was welcoming Cassie back... Crushing.

More on Cassie, it seems like she really idolised Roxy with how she seemed to copy her where she could in the cardboard cutouts. Roxy got a good handful of new cutouts just for this which just makes me think it’s more relavant to her. The cutouts with Gregory though? He was there with her, drying her tears, and then you deactivate the child node, a giant pair of scissors, and suddenly he’s gone. She’s alone and crying to herself. This reads to me like Gregory making friends with her, being the only human friend she had and then suddenly he cut ties. He vanished on her without a trace, only to send a message to her begging him to come and save her. In order to do that, she was tasked with deactivating Roxy, effectively killing her and she does it for him, only for it to all be a lie in the end. This is tragic man. Especially given some other things I’ll get to in a mo’.

Now the Vanni mask is a cool game mechanic. How it works? No idea. But I believe it’s giving us an insight into the perception of those around us. It’s like a mindscape I think, where we can still hear Chica repeating those same old lines, where we can hear every Freddy line in the game despite him not being there and why we can hear Roxy sobbing when she’s trying to welcome Cassie back. We can see their perception of themselves, or perhaps, more of the Mimic and Cassie’s own perceptions, mixed in with theirs. The animatronics and surroundings are all a pinkish colour, this leads me to believe it’s different to the crystal clear images of Roxy, Gregory and Cassie in the Salon area, as well as different to the green of Roxy’s body when she’s talking to us. The clarity is becuase it’s Cassie that is seeing it. These are representations of herself being shown to her. The pink I believe is the animatronics perception, which is why Freddy doesn’t appear in the mask at all. He’s not there. His head is elsewhere along with the rest of his mind. The only one to have green, is Roxy, which is why it feels separate. Following this logic, it must be because that’s what she sees. That’s who she believes herself to be so that’s what we see. It’s a really cool look into these things, especially with the Sunny, Moon and Eclipse thing going on. A very cool concept.

The Helpi helper is definitely connected to either the Mimic or the Glitchy bunny there’s no way. Every time the fake Gregory said something, the Helpi bot said basically the same thing. They’re related I’m certain. Any normal AI like that would probably not let a child go into the fucking sinkhole. Like, what? Okay?? Helpy is also seen with ice cream in the second ending when you turn left at some point in the final chase. He’s right next to Gregory while Vanessa sits under the tree with a smile, all three with ice cream. Now, I don’t think that’s real, straight up. Either the transferred Freddy into a Helpy bot or that’s some illusion, a glimmer of hope for her friend that she’s shown before her death. Which is honestly awful but hey what can you do. Now.

Roxy being the last node feels so important to me. She was the last security node, she had a sense of self strong enough that she was able to react and interact as herself and not just with pre-recorded lines. Through the mask, where we presumably see Roxy’s perception mixed a little with Cassie’s own, we see how expressive she is, how she still remembers and understands what she looks like and who she is. She still knows and isn’t letting go of it, which makes it all the worse what’s happened to her. But since this is about the security... she was the guard dog. She was the last line of defense. She was the protector of that sinkhole and because of us, she couldn’t do her job to keep us out. That rabbit glitch? It couldn’t escape the servers because she came back online. None of the others were nodes, only her. She was quite literally the Cerberus to the Mimic in hell and that’s cool as fuck for her

And you know what? She protected Cassie as well as she possibly could. She went down into that sinkhole and she took on the Mimic to save Cassie. It took her offline for a while, but she fought it off long enough for Cassie to have made an escape if ‘Gregory’ hadn’t started talking to her. This thing was bigger than her by a good amount and she was beat to shit from a kart crash, a fire, and then being trapped under a forklift for fuck knows how long. She did everything she possibly could have and then after the credits, she is somehow still alive, calling out to Cassie as if she’s just found her again. If we get more DLC, it better be from Roxy’s perspective as she tries to get Cassie to the surface without getting caught by the Mimic, and if it’s not DLC, it’s my new AU. I will save my comparisons to Freddy for another post because believe me I have thoughts on that one.

We learn a lot about Cassie as a person in this honestly. She has the ability to play Chica’s Feeding Frenzy (YES THEY GAVE CHICA HER GAME BACK AND ITS FULLY COMPLETED NOW AND NOT JUST COOL SCRAPPED CONCEPTS AAAAAAAAA) and get Chica’s voicebox back to repair her. She literally goes back to Chica, sticks her hand in her mouth and reinstalls the voicebox for her. Chica is still gone, she wakes up just to say for one final time ‘I smell pizza!’ with her own voice and then she’s gone again. Cassie didn’t have to do that. There’s no benefit to doing that, there’s no ally gained or new tool unlocked, she just does it. The whole reason she’s in the Pizzaplex anyway is to save her friend. She’s a selfless, brave little kid who actually gives a shit and I’m so glad it looks like Roxy gave a shit too because fuck does she deserve that and more. She’s eleven and going through this shit? And she’s still doing the little things to help along the way? Buddy that’s just amazing and I love her for that.

Now the Gator Golf ride... Marketing. This is the cover up. This is what they tell the kids so people don’t ask where Bonnie went. I’m glad it gave Roxy and Monty that cutout of her doing his hair into a mohawk, and I love the idea that it was based off an actual event where Roxy and Bonnie were his helping hands onto the stage. I’m a little mad about this answering one small detail of my timeline but literally throwing the rest out, but if I want Roxy to be the youngest band member I can still do it, just not as easy. Again, what we see on rides and in arcade games is what Fazbear Entertainment are showing us, not necessarily what the animatronics themselves feel. There’s wiggle room here, but I do find it hilarious that it’s now canon Monty has never owned a shirt in his fucking life lmao. I love that we get to see that backstory though, and that we get to see canon Glamrock Bonnie here of all places. More on that in a bit, but it could be really telling about the relationships between everyone if it’s at all based on them which is really nice. Monty also got his golf arcade game! With all the cut content in it now! Which is really neat! I don’t know what happens when you get a hole in one on every hole yet but I’m very curious! Maybe a chance to help him too? We’ll see!

Speaking of Glam Bonnie, HE IS IN THE GAME!! WE SEE HIM!!! HE IS INSIDE OF THE GIANT CHICA BOWLING BALL!! He has two claw marks on his chest that rip into the shell and the rest of the body looks as if it suffered fall damage. More points on why Monty didn’t kill him because he’s nowhere near Gator Golf, only has two claw marks, and is simply not damaged enough to have fought either Monty or Roxy. It was one hit of a ledge of sorts that did it and I don’t think the Gator Golf catwalks would have worked given Monty’s damage. My working theory is Roxy or Freddy given the sets of three clawmarks through the bowling alley, but Chica is not off the table entirely.

And on the topic of previous animatronics, ROXY IS NOT A KNOCKOFF FOXY!!! Unless the Raceway is a rebrand of Foxy’s cowboy themed adventure that never got fully built and switched him over to Kid’s Cove before converting to Roxy, they were always two separate animatronics! He has an unfinished log flume ride in the back of the salon! It’s weird given that it’s Roxy’s attraction, but given that it’s a side attraction for her and Chica and Monty are also fairly relavant to it, I’d say it’s slightly more fair to say this is more of a common ground side attraction than strictly Roxy’s, but with Roxy still as the focus because of the theming. Like where everyone goes to hang out at Roxy’s place sort of thing. But I’m super happy about this, it would be so weird if this all existed and he was turned into Foxy. Don’t get me wrong, I do like the idea of Roxy being a trans femme Foxy, I just want to take her the nonbinary route and project my own stuff onto her, ya know? She’s trans in her own way for me

Now we are missing DJ Music Man which is devastating. I love that guy! He deserves the world! But you know what we did get? Like a HUNDRED MINI MUSIC MEN!! I am THRIVING on this! They’re different from eachother too! Some have rabbit ears, some have top hats, some have points like Sunny, some have whiskers, some have imitation hair... I love them so much you don’t understand. They catch you and they all team up to get you like a colony of ants throwing you off a cliff. I love them. They follow each other single file like a little marching band too it’s so perfect and I love all of them and can’t wait to sit and count how many we were shown because I think there’s at least seventeen of them. I only guessed four of them from the previous game and WOW WAS I WRONG THERE’S SO FUCKING MANY OF THEM OH MY GOD I LOVE ALL OF THEM!! It’s gonna be a headache to work out what to do with all of them but I LOVE THEM AND I’LL GLADLY PUT MYSELF THROUGH IT FOR THEM

And you know what? The Fronnie shippers must be feeling really good with that poster on the wall of Bonnie’s room behind the stage. “You & Me, Forever & Ever! Love, Freddy” like yeah I bet you guys are thriving like I am lmao. I do love that Bonnie had his own dressing room behind the stage. Maybe he was phased out slowly and was downgraded to just his bowling alley or perhaps it’s a fragment of a bygone Pizzaplex from before they had the Glamrock theming? I dunno, but it’s very cool of them! Would have probably been a good idea to put a door on that staircase though...

And now, Eclipse. The fandom did it. They willed it into existence. Eclipse has the voice of a ball of slime and I hate it. I love the concept! Very cool! But also oh god there’s three of them now and the main security breach tags are gonna be flooded I bet. Congrats on your third jester! No one is more dedicated to these twinks as you are you deserve another one!

On another note, it was interesting the implication that Sunny and Moon weren’t always separate and were originally the Eclipse. That’s an interesting move there and also an interesting thing to have Sunny still talk after they’ve been ‘made whole’ again. Surely, if they’ve been made whole, Sunny is now Eclipse and not Sunny? I dunno. I feel like there’s probably some really cool lines in that sing song Moon does about there being no more light and the googly eyes just staring at them. Cause that was interesting to see I like that

I think that covers all the major stuff other than Danny Phantom in a fursuit that shows up with the mask on too long. I dunno, I don’t think that’s the Mimic, I think that’s something else. Maybe Glitchtrap? I’m not sure, but thanks to Roxy still being online it couldn’t seem to escape, despite Gregory saying it had escaped at the end. So now some final tidbits I noticed.

That clip on the cinema screen where Gregory is running away from Vanny outside the Cupcake Factory? Yeah... that’s a dead end. There’s no door over there. They’re running away from the only exit. I’m not exactly sure why that played though? Like. Was it just to signpost us to Chica’s Feeding Frenzy? I dunno, it seemed weird. There was also a lot more emphasis on the Cupcake Factory this time and yet we still didn’t see Chica’s cupcake that I KNOW this version of her had. There was also that scooping room ending with the... I don’t even know? It’s not the mimic it looks completely different, it could be something new we haven’t seen yet or perhaps be more relavant to Candy Cadets (Yeah he returned!) story? I don’t know but it looks like something out of Monsters Inc. It has an L on it’s jacket, or possibly a backwards funky J and there was a note somewhere that said ‘remember Jimmy’. Not Jeremy this time I guess. A little bowling ball was stuck in the wall in Bonnie Bowl and apparently shutting down all of the Wet Floor Bots is really important? I dunno but why would you do that to them :( Also Monty became a Jaws alligator and I fucking love that for him lmao. There was also missing posters for Gregory dotted around in the Salon I think? I don’t remember where. And the other things in that final room with the Mimic in? Weird. Would love to know what that’s about.

One last thing, Gregory at the end says that a friend of his has the maps to the layout. This can either be Vanessa or Freddy. He then says “that thing has been down here for a really long time-”. You know. Down here for a very long time. This is why I think that second ending of them on the hill is either fake, or this is still the Mimic or some other creature talking to Cassie. Why would he say down here if he, the speaker, wasn’t also down there? Was Gregory actually down there? Have he and Vanessa been living down there with decapitated Freddy? Those maps would have come from either Vanessa or Freddy, which means one of them would have had to have been at least complicit in his attempt on Cassie’s life when the lift falls. I don’t know what that’s about, but it’s fucked and I hope Roxy is able to save her from the rubble or get her to the surface where she can be found. If she survived it’ll be a miracle but given how she survived everything else, she just might have.

That’s all I can think of at the moment, I still feel like I’m processing a lot of it, but these are my thoughts thus far. If you made it this far, I’d be really interested to see what other people have to say about this I love it and I love that Freddy is fucking headless with a Nightmare Fredbear stomach with a prize box inside. I think that’s really fun of him. Very fun and it was nice to see all that cut content in the game files wasn’t lost forever. That’s all I got though so I’m gonna. Go dive into the Roxy tags and join in on the rabid screaming over this bye

#fnaf security breach #fnaf ruin dlc #fnaf ruin dlc spoilers #ruin dlc spoilers #It looks like a fun game and functionally way better I love it #fnaf security breach ruin #long post

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imagine-a-life-like-this · 3 years

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What If? (H.JS)

Warnings : mention of divorce

Word Count : 1897

Synopsis : she had never seen jisung as anything more than just a friend. that is until her and jisung volunteered to do a couples photoshoot for their mutual friend. seeing the way he looked at her, the way they just seemed to match perfectly had her wondering, what if they were more than friends?

“He said my portfolio isn’t good enough. There isn’t enough variety.” Hyunjin whined as he plopped beside me on the couch. I could see the disappointment and exhaustion in his eyes when he looked at me. He had been working on his photography portfolio for months now, hoping to impress his professor.

“Did he give you any ideas to help expand your portfolio?” I asked, running my fingers through his hair. It’s always helped calm him down, or that’s what he told me.

“He wants me to try to do a couples photoshoot, since I do a lot of portrait shoots. But I don’t even know any couples!” I slowly began to massage his head as he moved to rest his head in my lap, his eyes closing as he did so.

“Y/N and I will do it.” Jisung offered from the kitchen. Hyunjin’s eyes shot open, meeting mine immediately.

“Is there something you two aren’t telling me?” He questioned, causing Jisung and I to burst into laughter.

“No, but we can act like it front of the camera.” Jisung chuckled as he sat in the chair beside the couch.

“Besides, most of the school thinks we’re dating anyway.” I joked. Ever since high school, people have thought Jisung and I were couple since we’ve always been so close. Jisung is quite introverted and nervous around a lot of people, and he’s told me before that I comfort him just by being beside him. Growing up, he always clung to me in one way or another, not that I ever minded.

“Yeah, when I met you two in high school, I could have sworn you two were a couple.” Hyunjin added, sitting up on the couch. “But you two would really do a couples photoshoot for me?” We exchanged looks before nodded.

“You’re our friend and this is important to you. Of course we’ll help.” I smiled.

The three of us set out to find some nice shooting locations the next day. It was the perfect day for a photoshoot; the sun shining high in the sky. Every once in a while, Hyunjin would stop us and we’d take some pictures. Jisung and I looked up some references so we knew how to pose and make it look more realistic.

There was a lot of longing stares and laughter at how ridiculous this felt. Hyunjin was completely focused as Jisung and I posed for him. This was his final project and was worth 50% of his grade, and I could tell it was stressing him out. We tried our best to look as in love as possible, trying to hold in our laughter until the picture was taken, but sometimes it was difficult.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Jisung chuckled, hiding his face behind his hands. I reached out, taking one of his hands in mine and continued looking longingly into his eyes. “Yah!” I watched as his cheeks became a rosy colour.

“Let me love you!” I yelled as he suddenly took off running. As I caught up to him, I jumped on his back, thinking it would tackle him to the ground, but I was surprised when he caught my legs in his hands and continued running with me on his back. “Yah Han Jisung!” I shrieked, begging him to drop me.

“Didn’t think this one through, did you princess?” I cringed at the cliché nickname, lightly hitting the top of his head in protest. “Yah! Don’t hit me!”

The three of us ended up at a cafe looking through the pictures Hyunjin took throughout the day, after he downloaded them to his laptop. Jisung would point at one he thought was really nice, asking to send them to him later. But I just stared, my heart suddenly picking up pace.

I stared at the pictures, seeing the wide smiles on both our faces. How perfectly our hands seemed to fit together. Hyunjin even took pictures of us when we were just being ourselves, running around the park with me on his back. You couldn’t tell the difference between the pictures where we were acting like a couple and when we were just hanging out.

In all the years I’ve known Jisung, I’ve never seen him as anything more than my best friend. But looking at these pictures is like looking into another reality where he’s my boyfriend, and I don’t mind it.

Han Jisung has always been the person I turn to when I have news to share, good or bad. Through all the hard times and fights, he stuck by me, promising me he’d never leave. He’s the person that knows me better than I know myself. He knows exactly what I need without me asking for it. It’s like he can read my mind.

There’s no denying that he’s handsome either. He has a smile that can light up a room. Whenever I’m having a bad day, his smile alone can brighten it, bringing a smile to my face as well. And he’s got the cutest cheeks that puff out when he shoves food in his face, much like a squirrel. It’s one of my favourite parts about him. Honestly, I love everything about him.

There’s no doubt in my mind that I accidentally fell for my best friend. I fell for him a long time ago, but I refused to admit it. But looking at these pictures, my heart can’t deny it anymore. I’m in love with Han Jisung.

“Hey, Y/N, you okay?” Jisung’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “Do you not like the pictures? Are we not a cute couple?” He joked, his famous smile dancing across his lips. I couldn’t help but smile back.

“We’re obviously the cutest! All the pictures are amazing, Jinnie.” Hyunjin smiled at us, the stress seeming to wash off him completely.

“Honestly, you two would make a really cute couple. Look at this picture.” He showed us a picture he took just a bit ago when we got to the café. Jisung and I were standing in line, waiting to order. As per usual, Jisung had his arm draped across my shoulders, and I was holding his hand that was hanging off my shoulder, our fingers laced together. We were staring at each other, wide smiles on our faces. We weren’t even posing, that’s just how we’ve always been. “You are the happiest with each other.” Hyunjin added, but Jisung and I were both silent, realization hitting us both.

“Wow.” Jisung breathed out, his eyes suddenly meeting mine. “I’m so handsome!” He exclaimed, a wide smile taking over his face. I let out a laugh, but I could feel my heart drop. It was obvious that I was the only one who fell.

I eventually excused myself with the excuse of a project due in a couple days that I needed to finish. I put my earbuds in and took the long way home, overthinking every little thing between Jisung and I over the years. When did my feelings change?

Was it the night my parents divorced and I couldn’t stop crying, wondering what went wrong? Jisung came over after I had called him and he heard I was crying. I told him not to, but he still showed up, drenched from the pouring rain, holding a bag of all my favourite snacks. He held me until my sobs faded and wiped away the drying tears.

Maybe it was when we were partnered for a project in high school and we were in my room, laughing about something completely unrelated to the project. We stayed up late into the night, until my dad came upstairs, offering Jisung the spare room to sleep in, saying he already called his parents. Jisung was awake before me, waking me up with breakfast in bed and a shy smile.

It could have been when I was stood up, and instead of just picking me up and allowing me to do the lonely walk of shame out of the fancy restaurant, he barged in, apologizing profusely for being late. I smiled when I saw him dressed in his best suit, his hair a mess from the obvious run he did to get there. He even paid despite the high price and his dwindling bank account.

Or it could have been a mix of everything. Maybe my feelings were never platonic. I always seemed to laugh louder and smile more when he’s around.

A short vibration from my phone pulled me from my thoughts. I opened the message from Hyunjin, seeing a couple pictures from today on my screen along with a short message. I don’t think you two are just friends.

The pictures were ones he didn’t show us at the café, or at least not when I was there. The first one seemed to be from when we were just wandering around looking for a location to shoot. I was looking somewhere off camera, probably looking around for a place to shoot. But Jisung’s eyes were on me. His hands were in his pockets while a soft smile danced across his lips. The way he looked at me was the way guys in movies look at their lover. Eyes full of love and longing.

The second picture was during one of the moments we were trying to act like a couple, but we couldn’t contain our laughter. His hands cupped my face, our eyes locked together in a sweet gaze. You could practically hear our laughter just by looking at the picture. And in both of our eyes was the same longing look Jisung gave me in the previous picture.

The final picture was another from us acting like a couple. I had closed my eyes just like the couple in the reference picture, thinking Jisung did too. Our foreheads were touching, his hands cupping my face once again, and my hands resting on his chest. But his eyes weren’t closed. They were open, looking at me with such love that I could feel the butterflies erupt in my stomach.

I stopped walking, just staring at the third picture, hope building up in my stomach. The lyrics of the song playing in my earbuds was background music to the sound of my heart pounding.

Just then, Jisung’s contact picture popped up on screen as he called me. He always knew when I needed him. He knew me better than I knew myself. I should have known I couldn’t keep these feelings a secret from him. He could read me as easily as you can read your favourite book.

“Turn around.” Was all he said before hanging up. Slowly, I listened to his directions, turning around, and seeing him standing just a few feet away. “You felt it too, didn’t you.” He said, neither one of us taking a step. Strangers just walked on by, not paying us any attention, as if they were extras in a drama we were starring in.

“Yeah.” Was all I could say, and a smile formed on his face. “I think I always have.” I added, surprised he could hear me with how soft my voice was. He finally walked towards me, closing the short distance between us before cupping my face.

“Me too.” He whispered before pressing his lips to mine in the first of many kisses we’d share.

#stray kids imagine #skz imagine #stray kids au #skz au #han jisung imagine #han jisung au #han jisung x reader #han jisung #lee felix #kim seungmin #yang jeongin #bang chan #lee minho #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin

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suna-reversed · 3 years

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Hello I came to request # 74) “Wow, I think you’re blushing even redder than the vibrator inside you.” from your nsfw prompt list. Where kenma tied us up with a vibrator(maybe other toys) and then left to do a stream and when he returns we are a overestimated mess and then he fucks us with the vibrant still in.

Post Timeskip! KENMA X F! READER// nsfw!!

warnings/tags- unprotected sex, role-play, overstimulation, nipple play, use of sex toys, light degradation, kenma calling the reader “bunny”

timeskip!spoilers

(art credit in picture)

- Kenma had always been big on role-play right from the first time you got intimate with each other.

- So it was no new thing for you to surprise him every now and then dressed up in different costumes.

- This time, you had dressed yourself in a set of black lace lingerie, black knee high socks with white stripes across the top and your personal favourite- black bunny ears that matched the little bunny design on the collar around your throat.

- What you were not expecting as you walked into your shared bedroom, ready to surprise your boyfriend, was to be met with your own self on the camera screen, his own shock-filled eyes meeting yours through it.

----

He was quick to turn the camera off, shutting off his live-stream that had at least a few thousand viewers. You stood there stunned, nervously fidgeting with your fingers as you gave him a guilty smile,

“I- I thought you weren’t streaming today.”

Kenma didn’t reply, instead raking his eyes all over your body, reaching out a hand for you to grab so that he could pull you into his lap. His finger traced the outline of the bunny ears, sliding down your face to flick your nose lightly, making you smile.

How could he be mad at you?

Well, he wasn’t. At least not until he opened his phone, planning to send a quick text to his manager about the situation before he fucked you senseless. Instead, he found his stream comments flooded with people. Comments that seemed to get progressively worse.

“Who would’ve thought gamer boy was into that freaky shit.”

“Damn, I’d never leave the bed if that’s what was waiting for me.”

“Bet I can fuck her better than him...what I wouldn't give to choke her.”

You saw a few of the comments too from where your head rested on his chest. You squeaked as the gentle hold around your throat tightened. Kenma putting his phone aside with force, growling a low, “Get on the bed now, bunny.” into your ear that immediately sent you scrambling up to go lay back on the mattress. You watched him pull back his hair with a tie as he walked over to the closet, bending down to pull out a box filled with objects you were way too familiar with. You hear him rumbling around but you don’t see what he’s gotten as he walks up to you with his hands behind his back.

“Close your eyes.”

You do as you’re told, and soon after you feel him lift your head slightly to slide down a velvety fabric over your eyes, blinding you. Next, it’s your wrists that are cuffed up to the headboard. You can tell Kenma is in no hurry as he takes his time running his hands all over your body, making you squirm desperately as you feel a damp spot growing on your panties.

“I’ve barely done anything and you’re already so fucking wet” Kenma says while clicking his tongue. You only writhe around more in response, whines falling from your mouth.

You gasp as a sharp slap comes down on your lace-clad mound.

“Good bunnies don’t make noises, do they?”

You still your body, muffling a moan as he pinches your nipples.

“Good girl.” He says while humming appreciatively. “But I still think you need a punishment for the mess you just caused.”

Your body shakes out of both anticipation and fear as you nod your head rapidly. Before you can even think of what he’s going to do, the sound of fabric ripping is heard in the air as his hands tear off the flimsy lace of your bra. This time, you’re not able to contain a shriek as something cold and metal clamps down on both of your nipples. That only results in Kenma pulling on the chain connecting the metal clamps on your sensitive nubs.

“Such a disobedient slut. Maybe I should just let one of those turds in the comment section fuck you, huh? Fill you up with their disgusting seed over and again when they won’t even be making you cum once?”

You shook your head, tears of shame welling up in your eyes and now streaming down your face,

“No-no daddy, I’m a good bunny, only your bunny.” You sniffed loudly before continuing, “Please fuck your bunny daddy...only need your cock, no one else’s.”

Kenma swore the restraint inside him was an inch apart from snapping. Instead, he ran his fingers over your covered cunt, making a sweet moan fall from your mouth. His hand fell away and you felt him moving around on the bed, his hand coming back only to move your panties aside. You let out a squeal of surprise as you felt the familiar shape of a slender rubber vibrator put inside you.

“Mhmm I’ll fill you up real nice bunny. But daddy’s still gotta finish his stream. You’ll be patient for him , won’t you?”

You couldn’t exactly figure out what he was planning, but it all clicked as you felt the buzzing sensation of the vibrator, making your juices drip out onto the sheets. You felt Kenma come close to your face, a hand incling your head again,

“Now as much as I’d like for all those fuckers to listen to who makes you scream, I’d much rather not be distracted by your moans while I play.”

That was the last thing he said before stuffing a gag into your mouth. You felt his weight push off the bed completely, the sound of his computer switching on ringing in your ears as your legs quivered with the sensations inside your cunt, your lack of sight making you hyper aware of the pressure around your nipples. You felt your high approaching, thrashing around on the bed as you heard Kenma start his stream, apologising for the “minor inconvenience”. The coil in the bottom of your stomach snapped at the same time he said, “No worries now though, I’ve taken care of it.”

---------

And that is how you found yourself 2 hours later, face stained with tears as tiny sobs left your mouth making spit drool out from around the gag. The sheets were dripping with your juices, your body jerking every time Kenma changed the intensity of the buzzing inside of you. You almost fainted from relief as you heard Kenma announcing the end of his stream.

You continued to sniff as you felt the bed dip next to you, a whine escaping from as you felt the buzzing stop, a hand coming to slide down your blindfold and unchaining your wrists as he brushed the hair out of your sweat covered forehead with the other.

Kenma’s heart clenched as you looked up at him with puppy eyes. He pulled the gag from your mouth, strings of drool falling coming off along with it. He sighed, leaning down to kiss your forehead before asking,

“What colour, bunny?”

It took your mess of a brain a second to comprehend his question. Still shaking, you mumbled out, “Green, daddy.”

You felt him smile against your forehead, before he pulled back, stripping himself off of his sweatshirt and grey pants as he got off the bed. Your eyes shot straight down to the bulging member underneath his boxers.

Kenma got in between your legs, leaning forward to slide a finger underneath the collar on your throat,

“Such a good girl for me. Just for me-” He said in between kisses along your neck, “Daddy thinks you deserve a reward.”

“Please- please give me your cock daddy, need you so bad.” You cried out loud.

And how could Kenma have said no to his precious little bunny?

You threw your head back as you heard the sound of buzzing fill the air again at the same time you felt Kenma’s cock against your hole.

“Think you can take it bunny?”

“Yes! Please stretch my cunt out daddy, just need to fee-”

You were cut off as the tip of Kenma’s thick girth entered you. You moaned at the burning stretch of your cunt, hands reaching up to tangle in his locks. You both moaned in unison as he bottomed out, hands coming up to grope your tits as he started thrusting his hips.

“Fuck- you’re so tight- no one can fuck you as good as I do.”

You moaned in response, brain too fucked out to form an answer. Tears flowed freely from your eyes as he lifted one of your legs over his shoulder, his thrusts getting deeper at the new angle as he rutted into you with no mercy.

“Cum around me bunny- wanna feel you gush on my cock c’mon.” Kenma said, hand going down to hastily rub your sensitive nub, groaning as he felt your cunt clench down on him.

Already over-stimulated from your previous orgasms, you screamed, back arching into the mattress as you came undone once again for the nth time. Kenma continued to fuck you through your orgasm, finding his own release soon after as he painted your insides with his seed, collapsing on top of you. You felt your vision going blurry and eyes rolling back as you felt him pull himself and the vibrator out of your poor abused cunt.

----------

Your eyes fluttered open at the feeling of water around your body,

“Hey baby, there you are.” You felt Kenma’s voice rumble through behind you as his hands massaged your shoulders gently. You let out a small “hey” in response while nuzzling further back into his chest.

“Was I too rough?”

“Mhmm no, I think I might have to walk in on your streams more often.”

“Maybe I’ll fuck you while they watch the next time.”

“KENMA-”

——-

————-

Thanks to my favourite kenma kinnie @erenbae for helping me with this prompt🥰

916 notes · View notes

littleredwing89 · 3 years

Text

AGENT OF CHAOS - PART THREE

Jason Todd x Reader

Summary: Everything flew by him in a blur as he sped through the streets of Gotham. His foot slammed down harder on the accelerator desperate to get there faster. Every second counted. He knew all too well what The Joker was like. The way his face slipped as you defied him, terrified Jason. He’d seen that look right before receiving a crowbar to the face.

Warnings – Language. Kidnapping. Stalking. Mild Violence. Angst. Hurt.

Word Count: 4,870

A/N: This is the final chapter everyone, sorry for the little delay, I was working on a few of the actions scenes to ensure they were good. I really hope you all like this xoxo

~~~

It had been almost a month. Every lead turned into a dead end. Nothing. Much like the Joker himself, no one knew a thing. The whole thing was tearing Jason apart. He’d barely slept. He’d maybe had 3 hours per night. If that, and he was convinced the only reason he got sleep was because Bruce had slipped him something in his coffee.

The fourth cassette tape came with a dead yellow rose and a rotten apple. He pushed play on the recorder and swallowed thickly as the grainy camera zoomed in on your face. You looked pale. Your cheeks looked hollow and your once colourful eyes looked gaunt. Haunted.

“Well Jason, I’m a man of my word...I’ve been looking after her so good”, Joker laughed hysterically and smoothed his hand down your cheek, smacking it lightly. The slap caused you to jolt in the chair. A sharp gasp flew out of your chapped lips.

Jason felt Bruce’s hand squeeze his shoulder reassuringly. The notion sent a brief wave of calm through Jason. Maybe this was how Bruce felt all those years ago...when he received similar tape of ..of himself. Jason turned back to the screen and focused his eyes. Searching for a clue. Anything. Something to bring you back to him.

“She’s been such a good little princess bird boy...she’s done everything I asked...and more”, Joker whistled happily as he tapped your nose with a wicked smile. Jason felt his heart stop and looked directly into your eyes through the screen. Good he wanted to hold you in his arms and never let you go.

The tape skipped and replayed the same thing back, “...and more”. It skipped again, “...and more”. Jason growled and the tape paused before going completely black.

His fist smashed into the computer keyboard, pieces of black plastic scattering across the desk. Jason released a loud sobbing noise and sank to the cold stone floor of the bat cave. His eyes scrunched shut tightly, imagining you were in front of him. Giving him that silly smile you always did when you first woke up. It was one of his favourite smiles. You had hundreds of different types of smiles. The one you gave him when he hugged you randomly. The one you’d give him when he told you a stupid joke. The one you’d show him when you were both standing down one of the grocery aisles for no reason at all.

“Jason...son - we will find her - I promise you”, Bruce’s deep voice shattered Jason’s illusion of you in his mind.

“It’s been so long...what if-”, Jason ran a hand over his face. The stubble was longer, causing him to itch.

“Don’t”, Bruce warned, “don’t think like that. We will find her”.

~~~

The last cassette tape Jason received was covered in a dark, red sticky substance. Jason knew what it was but he didn’t know if it was yours. Before Jason could even think about playing it, Bruce had prized it from his fingers.

“Jason we need to analyse the blood, it might give us a clue”, his voice was stable and deep. He attempted to reassure Jason with a firm grip to the shoulder but it did nothing. Jason felt empty without you.

“We need to watch-”, Jason started but was interrupted by Bruce.

“No, I’ll watch it. You need to get some sleep, let me do this Jason. Please”, Bruce pleaded desperately, “You haven’t slept in over 48 hours”.

Jason laughed but it was hollow and sharp, “You really think I can sleep knowing she’s stuck with that fucking psycho?!”.

Bruce sighed and ran a hand over his face, “Jason I know you want to get Y/N back”, he placed the cassette onto a high tech scanning machine, it bleeped repeatedly as it scanned over the material, “But we all need to be working together and that means recharging our batteries”.

Jason scoffed and pushed past Bruce looking over the computer scanner typing something into the system, “So you’re telling me you went and had an eight hour sleep when Joker caught me?”.

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose, “Jason”.

“JUST STOP!!”, Jason's voice cracked as he shouted and for a moment, he sounded like the broken man in the abandoned shopping mall that long Halloween night many years ago.

“I-I need to do this Bruce. I-I have to, for Y/N”, his voice was scratchy and raw.

Bruce simply nodded and turned around. He extracted the cassette from the blood stained cloth and pushed it into the player to the right. Bruce took a secondary glance to Jason, giving him one last option but Jason just stared at the screen, waiting to see what the tape would show.

The second the tape played, the batcave was filled with your screams. They sounded broken and dry. Jason’s heart shattered. The shards stabbing him painfully. As you came into view on the camera, your long h/c hair was matted and stuck to your face. Blood staining it a deep red.

The Joker came into the view of the camera and smiled wide, his teeth showing.

“Jason, I see why you’re so attached to this woman, she’s very fiery...her spirit is impenetrable”.

A flicker of evil flew through his eyes at that word and a sick smile slid onto his lips, “but that’s fine. I’m sure I can find more penetrable spots”.

You tug harshly at your binds as he turned and came closer to you, a small blade held in his gloves hand.

“Hold still princess or I might accidentally cut an important part of you...or slit something”.

The blade cut the straps of your top, and the material fluttered down uselessly to the floor, exposing your padded black bra. The Joker whistled appreciatively and winked back at the camera.

“I say Jason...maybe I’m missing out not having a significant other...especially when they’re as beautiful as this”.

Jason had edged so close to the screen Bruce had to pull him back. Tears were running hotly down his cheeks and he swore he tasted blood from biting down on his bottom lip.

Your voice echoed through the empty warehouse room and through the camera speakers, “GO FUCK YOURSELF”.

The Joker smirked down at you and the blade was pressed against the skin of your neck.

“You should watch your manners, princesses don’t speak like that”.

You gulped and looked into his soulless eyes and laughed. It almost sounded as maniacal as his.

“I’m not your fucking princess”.

You spat at his face. Your spit mingled with blood from the earlier smack around the face.

“He’ll come for me...I know he will. And when he does, it’ll be all over for you”.

Something snapped and you saw his eyes darken. His face twisted and the scowl was demonic.

“You filthy fucking bitch!”, he roared and dropped the knife to wipe his face.

Joker turned to the camera and glowered, “I hope you’re watching Jason whilst I teach this rotten little whore some manners!”.

The first blow caused you to cry out in agony. It was harsh and fast. The sound to Jason was ear splitting. The second hit was drawn out and heavy. Designed to bruise. The third was sharp and felt like hundreds of tiny needles piercing your skin. The Joker was laughing wildly all the way through it. Never ceasing his treatment. As he swung his arm back for the fourth hit, the camera jarred and caught a window. Streams of light shone through. Jason could just about make out a sign. It was blurry.

“REWIND AND PAUSE IT BRUCE! There!!!”, he called and waited for Bruce to zoom in.

“Can you clear up that image...that looks like a road sign...”.

Bruce skipped the tape back several seconds, muting the sounds on the screen. The sounds of you getting smacked in the face shaking him to his core.

“THERE!!! LOOK!! Can you see?!”, Jason pressed his face as close as possible to the screen as Bruce paused it, the image flickered but the road sign was obvious.

ACE CHEMICALS.

Before Bruce could even react, Jason had launched himself across the cave, guns strapped to his thighs.

“Jason!”.

Jason ignored Bruce and grabbed his helmet, securing it into place whilst dropping extra magazine clips into his inner jacket pockets.

“Jason, we can’t just go in there all guns blazing. That’s what he’ll want! We have to think about this”, Bruce reasoned and moved into his path.

Huffing in annoyance, Jason’s modulator covered it easily, “I’m going to get her whether you come with me or not”.

Bruce looked stunned for a split second before softening his voice, “You’re letting your emotions get the better of you - they’re clouding your judgment Jason”.

He knew he was right, deep down. But the pressure. The torture you must have endured. Everything. It weighed down on Jason and began to suffocate him slowly. The more time he wasted, the worse it was going to be. He couldn’t do it.

“Let me get into my suit and we’ll tackle this together”.

Nodding briefly, Jason watched Bruce make his way across to the darkened corner of the cave where his suit was behind a glass panel. As Bruce pressed his palm into the wall, the biometric scanner bleeped. The case slid open slowly and Bruce began to take out the suit piece by piece. The batarangs refracted the light they caught from the computer screens.

Fuck. It was taking too long, these precious seconds. He could be half way there by now. His bike was too far away, in the garage at the front of the manor. He side eyed the batmobile and swallowed thickly.

“Fuck it”.

Taking the keys from the secret sliding panel on the desk, Jason leapt into the batmobile before starting the engine and speeding out of the cave. He swore he heard Bruce shouting, he was certain he heard several curse words too. Unlike Bruce. But it was taking too long. He couldn’t wait. He couldn’t leave you. You needed him. You couldn’t wait any longer.

~~~

Everything flew by him in a blur as he sped through the streets of Gotham. His foot slammed down harder on the accelerator desperate to get there faster. Every second counted. He knew all too well what The Joker was like. The way his face slipped as you defied him, terrified Jason. He’d seen that look right before receiving a crowbar to the face.

“Come on...come on!!”, Jason cursed to himself, hitting the steering wheel in fury. All the money Bruce had and it wouldn’t go any faster? He took a sharp turn heading towards the abandoned warehouse behind ACE Chemicals. He was so close. So much closer to reaching you. He’d deal with Bruce later. He couldn’t have waited any longer. Bruce would just have to get over him ‘borrowing’ the batmobile.

Swerving another corner and narrowly dodging the underpass columns, he pulled up in front of the derelict building. Almost all of the windows were smashed and hued green with mould. Maybe some of the toxins spewed from the factory had helped taint the glass further.

Grabbing both of his pistols, Jason left the car and headed towards the building fire escape. He could hear voices chattering.

“Joker said to keep an eye out for Batman”.

A goon; Jason noted peering around the brick wall spotting two of them. He noticed the metal railings above them creaking slightly in the strong winds.

“It’s been over a month now and there’s been no sign of any of the Bat freaks, it’s fine, let’s go grab a beer. He won’t even notice”, a second one encouraged the other smirking.

“You really want to cross him? He’s fucking nuts. I’m surprised the girl has even lasted this long with him, you know what he’s like”.

Jason’s fist tightened around one of his guns at the mention of you. It had to be you. Silently firing his grapple gun, he flew up the side of the building and made his way towards the goons.

“Trust me”, the first one spoke again, “He won’t even realise we’re gone, plus we might find some chicks to-”.

Perching on the railings above them, Jason leapt down cracking the base of his pistols onto one of their heads.

“Pleasure to meet you both”, Jason kicked out at the second goon hearing the sick crack of his ankle snapping.

Spinning on his heel, Jason grabbed the other goon and threw him face first into the brick wall knocking him unconscious immediately before turning back to the other man on the floor whimpering in pain.

“Where is she?”, Jason’s voice was strained even with the modulator protecting him.

The man refused to answer, dragging himself away from Jason with his hands, mud covering his palms.

Taking a large step, Jason reached the man on the floor and purposely stood onto his swollen ankle before aiming the cocked pistol towards his skull.

“I won’t ask again, where is she?”.

The screech from the man was deafening as Jason applied a hefty amount of pressure to his fractured bone.

“Basement!! She’s in the basement!! Please!!”, he begged as his eyes flickered nervously to the gun.

Jason rolled his shoulders before smashing the hilt of his pistol into his skull knocking him out cold. He turned back towards the fire escape and grappled back up to the roof. He’d have to make his way through the building to get to the basement. To you. And if he knew Joker, he wouldn’t have made it that easy. The two idiots on the front door were a sick joke. Tormenting Jason. Getting you back wouldn’t be an easy task.

~~~

Silently dropping through the window on top of the building, Jason landed onto one of the rusty steel girders. It was dark but his helmet adjusted the night vision so he could see clearly. Several goons patrolling an old foreman’s office in the centre. You had to be in there. He needed to take these idiots out quietly before getting to you.

Swinging across to the next rafter, Jason looked down at the first unsuspecting moron. With the stealth of a panther, he landed silently behind the goon before wrapping his arm around his meaty neck. He struggled against the iron grip of Jason’s forearm but the pressure only intensified the more he thrashed. Eventually the squirming stopped and the goon fell limp in his arms. Jason dragged him across to a darkened corner and dumped him behind some barrels.

As he grappled back up to roof beams, he looked down across at the two henchmen digging out a packet of cigarettes. The idiots had left their guns resting against the far wall. Jason had to chuckle to himself, Joker really was hiring morons. Weren’t these guys supposed to be protection?

Jason creeped across the rafters towards the two men and grabbed both of his pistols. He had to be silent. He couldn’t alert Joker to his presence.

“This is my last smoke”, one complained bitterly as the cigarette perched between his thin lips.

“I’ll get the next packet, quit your whining”, the second growled and patted his jacket for a lighter, “Fuck, where did I put my lighter?”.

“You’re a fucking moron. You asked to come for a smoke and you don’t even have a light!!”.

Now was his chance. Jason landed between them both, his boots thudding as he hit the concrete floor, “You know, smoking is bad for your health”. Before either of the goons could react, Jason lifted his elbow into the larger man's throat before smashing his pistol into the other man's temple, causing him to drop onto his knees. He slipped his guns back into his holsters quickly before turning to the other goon. He dodged the larger man’s grapple before twisting with ease and kicking out his kneecap. The man gasped but the elbow to his throat had killed off his voice.

Jason threw a heavy right hook into the larger man's nose and watched the blood trickle down his face. This seemed to only infuriate him more and he launched himself towards Jason viciously. Gripping both of his arms, Jason flipped the man over his body and slammed him into the floor hard before hammering punch after punch to his face, knocking him unconscious.

He turned quickly to the other man who was scrambling on his knees for the gun resting against the far wall.

“Sorry bud, but that can’t happen”, Jason grunted and landed a heavy kick to the goons stomach. The man yelped but it was quickly cut off by Jason as he slammed his boot into his face. He dropped onto the floor instantly.

Jason panted heavily and looked around the room, his helmet advising him of one more goon loitering around the door of the office. Looking down at the floor he noticed the floor grates wrapped around the room and more importantly under the henchmen’s feet. Perfect.

He lifted one of the grate coverings quietly and slipped under the flooring. He crouched down and edged around the room. The last goon was much larger and bulkier, with a machine gun strapped around his wide chest.

This goon seemed smarter than the others. Looking around and even checking up in the rafters. He grunted and pressed a button on his jacket, “No boss, still no sign of them...nothing Sir”.

The voice that patched through sent a chill down Jason’s spine. It was a tone that would be forever cemented in his mind, a reminder of his own torment.

“If you get ANY inclination the bat or any of his costumed freaks are in the building, you tell me immediately”.

“Yes boss”.

The static of the radio crackled before cutting off completely. Jason cursed mentally. This had to be precise. Perfection. He had to disable the henchman’s radio unit. Padding over his jacket he searched for the disrupter shooter he had. It wasn’t there. Fuck. He’d fucked up in his rush and left it behind. Fuck. Bruce was right. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Then he heard it. A soft ping from above him. He knew that sound. Jason looked up from the grate and spotted Nightwing hidden in the shadows with his own disrupter. Pointed directly at the goon’s radio system.

“Thought you might need a hand”, Dick patched into Jason’s com line.

Jason growled under his breath, “Thanks”.

“Shall we take this moron out together?”.

“Yes”, Jason muttered before switching his com off and inched closer to the goon.

The second Nightwing flew down from the roof beams, Jason jumped out of the floor grate and kicked out the back of the goons knees. He cursed loudly before Nightwing’s foot landed in his face.

Jason swore he saw a tooth fly out of his mouth along with a glob of blood. He aimed several hard punches to the side of the henchman’s head whilst Nightwing disabled his gun and radio with a graceful poise.

“All this for the girl? She’s nothing but a shell”, the goon smirked across at Jason before choking at the next punch.

“Joker’s hollowed her out...she’s nothing”, he spat out.

His temper flared and his hand subconsciously reached for his pistol. Dick realised and before anything could happen, he landed an electrical ecrisma blow to the goons head, knocking him out cold. His body crashed onto the floor with a loud thump.

“Jason-”.

“Don’t”, Jason cut him off, “I’m fine”.

He took several steps towards the office door and swallowed thickly. You. You’d be in there. You’d told Joker with the last ounce of confidence left that he’d come for you. He’d never leave you. You were right. Jason would never have stopped looking. Ever.

His hand rested on the door handle, trembling only slightly. What if he was too late. What if this was just another trick?

Drawing his hand back almost as though the door had burnt him. He frowned. He couldn’t think like this. No. He had to be strong. Just like you had been in all those videos. You’d been fierce. Your spirit still pouring through to him.

Jason glared angrily at the door and took a step back before kicking it open furiously with his combat boot. The door flew open wildly and as the dust settled. He saw Joker stood in the middle of the room, a sick, satisfied smirk sat proudly on his demented face.

~~~

“Jason my boy! It’s a pleasure to see you again”, his chuckle was deep and sinister, “I see you're still hiding your face though...is that because of what I did?”. The Joker’s eyes danced with delirious joy at the memories.

“I’d have thought you’d have embraced all your scars by now Jason...”, The Joker edged forward leaving you tied up behind him.

Jason rounded The Joker, clicking a button to the side of his mask, revealing his face, his eyes hidden with the domino mask, “I’ve got nothing to hide from you, clown”.

Jason let his eyes run over you for a second. You were bruised and bloodied. Clothes torn and tattered from mistreatment. Your eyes. God. Your beautiful E/C eyes. Red raw from countless tears. Somehow you still managed to give him a smile from behind The Joker. His heart fluttered. God he’d missed your smile.

Tearing his eyes from you he looked back towards The Joker and held his pistols out at him, finger hovering over the trigger. Jason felt the burn mark on his cheek stinging all over again. Pain ever present.

“You don’t have the guts”, The Joker laughed again and walked forward pressing his forehead into the barrel of the gun.

“You wouldn’t dare pull that trigger. I’m your Ace card Jason. You can’t kill me. You want to but you can’t...something will always stop you”.

Jason felt his hand shaking slightly. Everything was throbbing in his mind.

“Even after everything I’ve done to your girl, you still can’t pull that trigger”, The Joker taunted further and grinned sadistically.

“If only you knew where I’d touched...what I’ve done...”, he pushed further into the cold metal of the gun and winked at Jason, “Go on, do it, I dare you...if you don’t- I’m just going to keep coming back and who knows what I’ll do to our little princess next-”.

BANG.

A gun shot blasted through the air. Smoke drifted slowly from the barrel, dancing into the darkness around them.

“JASON!”.

Nightwing had thrown one of his ecrisma sticks to Jason’s gun, knocking it off target. The bullet shattered the brickwork behind them, dust erupting.

Crashing down through one of the broken windows on top of the office roof, Nightwing flew towards The Joker tackling him down onto the damp, concrete floor before he could launch himself at Jason.

Still startled, Jason watched Dick wrestling with The Joker on the floor, punches flying back and forth.

Dick turned to Jason, “Y/N-Jason!! Go get Y/N!! I’ll handle this!”.

The Joker was shrieking with laughter underneath Dick, blood pouring down his lip and from his nose.

“Ahhhh another boy blunder!! I must be lucky!! Two for the price of one!”.

Dick threw another punch and reached for the second ecrisma stick on his back, “I can’t wait to cart you back to the Asylum. I hope you’re looking forward to your 5 star stay in a windowless cesspit!”.

Jason could hear Joker continually laughing at Dick, until the sharp sound of electrical buzzing cut him off with a loud scream.

He almost fell over his own feet as he raced towards you. Jason quickly untied your hands and the second they were free you flung them around his neck, sobbing into his neck. Your tears dropping onto his brown leather jacket.

“Oh baby”, Jason stroked your hair and held you tightly to him. He was worried he was crushing you but you seemed to be squeezing him back just as hard.

You didn’t stop sobbing. The overwhelming emotion of being wrapped in his safe, strong arms make your knees buckle. Jason caught you with ease and lifted you up, “It’s ok baby, I’ve got you. I’ve always got you”.

Jason was one step away from breaking down himself but he needed to be strong for you right now.

You pressed your skin against his, the scratch of his stubble a welcome sting against your cheek. His scent overwhelmed you. Leather. Gunpowder. Smoke. And something distinct you’d never been able to place.

“Jason”.

“Shhh, it’s ok - nothing is going to hurt you, I’m here now - I’m a bit late but I’m here”.

~~~

It had been one week since you’d been back home. Two weeks if you counted the first week you and Jason spent holed up in the manor. Bruce had insisted. You sat in the bathtub, knees pressed up against your bare chest. Silence. All you could hear was the faint crackle of the bubbles every now and again. The clinical white tiles of the bathroom made you feel a little cleaner.

However, no matter how many baths you took, showers you stood in, you still couldn’t wipe the feel of the slick purple gloves off your skin. Your skin. Skin that was now marred with yellowish bruising. Almost faded physically but not mentally. Looking over the marks you felt yourself transported back into the desolate warehouse. The dank smell of stagnant water filling your nostrils. You choked and coughed loudly, suddenly feeling the oxygen clam up your throat. Drowning in the memories.

“Y/N??”.

Within a mere second Jason had flung open the bathroom door, red tinting his cheek and a little sweat on his forehead, “Sweetheart are you ok?”.

You noted how he chose to call you sweetheart now and not his usual princess. A stark reminder that this whole ordeal had affected him too, more than he’d admitted. You felt the guilt eat away at you. Shame burning at your feet.

“Y-yeah, I’m ok”, you mumbled quietly and swirled some of the water and bubbles around you, “I just accidentally swallowed some of the bath water, I’m sorry”.

Jason nodded although not quite believing you. He closed the door behind him and sat on the edge of the tub taking a deep breath, “It’s ok to not be ok sweetheart...I know it can be difficult to admit that...I know that more than most”, he wiped a stray bubble from the rim of the tub. He looked at you deeply before continuing, “I’ll be here for you...whenever and whatever you need”.

You sat silently in the water and he moved to get up. Maybe he thought it was best to leave you alone, let you uncover your own emotions. Process what had happened. You gripped his wrist and looked up into the crystal blue of his eyes, “Jason”.

“Yeah babe?”, he turned his wrist in your hand and linked his fingers with yours.

“I love you”.

He smiled and squeezed your hand before whispering back, “I love you too, more than you know”.

He looked over you and moved to sit back on the edge of the bath. His spare hand reached out and cupped your chin lovingly, stroking over your skin.

“We’ll work through this together Y/N, I promise”, Jason murmured and leaned forward kissing your forehead lightly, “I’ll do whatever you need me to do...anything at all”.

The words, the touches, the kiss. It made your heart flutter and you fell even more in love with him. Jason made the impossible possible and you had no idea how he managed it every day. You felt so lucky.

“I - I struggle some d-days”, you admitted and with those words you felt a little lighter, “sometimes all I want is for you to hold me and not let me go...Sometimes I-I f-feel like that for hours...”.

“Well then I’ll hold you for hours”, he said simply.

You scoffed lightly but before you could protest or think of arguing back he was stepping into the bath water fully clothed.

“Jay!! You’re going to flood the bathroom”, you gasped loudly, watching the water splash over the sides like dramatic tidal waves. Water dispersed all over the bathroom floor to make way for his broad frame, “What are you doing?!”.

Jason sunk down into the water behind you and wrapped his arms either side, pulling you back into his clothed chest. He rested his head on your shoulder, pressing a chaste kiss there, “Holding you for as long as you need me to”.

You felt yourself melt into his warm embrace. Tears made their way down your cheeks at his endearing show of love, “Jason”.

“Shhh, just let me hold you baby”, he cuddled you tighter into him, his fingers stroking your hips under the water, brushing away the bruises. Marking you with his own special touch.

Relaxing under his soft caresses, you hummed lightly and closed your eyes resting your head back against him. He smelt like leather and spice. You felt at home. He was home.

“Jay”.

“Mmm?”.

“Please call me princess”, you whispered quietly into the air, your eyes still closed.

“Whatever you want...princess”.

~~~

Special Thanks: @offendedfishnoises @internalsealpanic @batarella - thank you both for proof reading this and all the help you have given me - mwah mwah. xoxo

Tag List: @offendedfishnoises @internalsealpanic @batarella @batarella-mini @lucy-roo @illzarr @pricetagofficial @jadedhillon @vvipgot7be @clementinesandstars @thedeadlythoughts @fantasticwizardnerd @power-of-words23 @vintagexparker @borntobewondering @l-inkage @fourteengemstones @ficrecsideblog @insane-without-delirium @so-now-what-huh @imjeralee @geekonaleash @dairydragon84 @dragonchildyuki @ediwdac @fxrchxldws @hyperfixationsandhecticness @chelinn @maniacproffesor @8ether @the-abyss-of-fandoms @babymango-writes @indigowcrds @catxsnow @lostoctaviaaugusta @empower-bi-women @jd-loves-everyone @xatanna-troy @phoenixhalliwell @a-sketchy-jedi @ramdomtails @ximaginx @little-miss-naill @spideypoolfeelz @queenbelena @rosalietodd013 @multifandomgirl-us @multitudinous-writes @mariechen1397 @brennenscolby @batgalsblog @bamboozledjt @crappy-unicorn @batmom69 @adazzlingsakura @weirdgirlfromtx @anousiemay @iamsofuckinglostsblog @pinklipsnotips @celestialgalaxies @galvysta @novelisticmess @onfir3 @this-hufflepuff @secretlovexo @naeratargaryen @eyelessjackswife @maplumebleue-blog-blog @futuristicallysweetstarfish @dianduh11 @beccis18 @kaylossol @alex-ehhh @hambuurgerz @mando-e @laguana-doofinsmirtz - Drop me a message if you want to be added to my tag list. xoxo

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#jason todd fanfiction #jason todd smut #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #jason todd x you #jason todd x reader insert #jason todd x reader series #red hood x reader #red hood imagine #red hood smut #red hood x you #red hood fanfiction #arkham knight x reader #arkham knight x you #arkham knight x reader series #arkham knight imagine

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mrs-march-ahs · 3 years

Note

Hi! I have a request~ The Evans reactions to losing in any sort of game. Can be board games or video games 😅

The Evans Losing At Games

Headcannons for all, imagines for some!

Cute idea, thank you! I didn’t write much for Jimmy, I’m sorry Jimmy I love you<3

Enjoy:)

Tate

-Clearly a teenage boy who lets emotions build up a lot -Definitely cheats if he’s had enough -If he keeps losing in the same part of the video game and rage quits, it takes him forever to get back into the game - “Ohhhh… I forgot that’s where I let off… fuck it” (quits) -Much better and calmer at playing cards, and generally prefers games were the two of you can talk and he doesn’t have to focus too much

You laid on your bed, scrolling aimlessly through social media, and occasionally glancing at Tate playing a video game he hasn’t played in a while. When you started talking about games, and you told him you had it, he nostalgically reminisced how much he used to play it when he was alive, so you set it up for him. Every few minutes, when a red screen would pop up, Tate would sigh, and with every passing death, his sighs got louder and angrier.

After only maybe half an hour of playing, Tate clearly couldn’t take it anymore, and threw the control towards the floor, before stomping over to shut the console and TV off. The sound made you flinch, and you had never seen Tate angry before. Nor his body language nor face showed his emotions, just his actions, and when he flopped by your side, he looked fine. If somebody had come in right now, they would just see two teenagers laying next to each other.

“Uhhh… you okay?”, you ask, before rolling over to face him. You poke at his chubby cheek as he stares up at the ceiling and tease him. “Sore loser”.

“Shut up, it’s your fault. You reminded me why I wasn’t allowed to play this game for very long”.

“Wanna play something else? Together? We could play Dragon Ball Z?”, you ask quietly, before going back to your childish sing-song teasing. “Be nice, and I’ll even let you win a few times!”

Tate looks over at you and huffs, before sitting up and getting the controllers, “Good thing you’re used to begging me for mercy”

Kit

-Least sore loser out of them all -Always up for a rematch -He’s pleasant even when he does win - “Want a rematch sugar? So you can have another shot at beating me?” - “Ah you were close, you’re getting good” - “You’re a good rival” - “If I lose, you can drag me to that Rom Com you wanted to see” - “If I win, we make more babies” -Pretends to be competitive when he’s playing with the kids - “I would say Team Girls vs Team Boys… but that’s not fair, the two of you don’t even stand a chance, right Tommy?” -If one of the kids beat him, he’d act super dramatically to give them as much satisfaction of winning -Laser tag is 34 years before Kit’s time, but if he played something like that, he’d try to let the kids win

You ran around the garden and chased a giggling Julia. Because of current financial issues, the power was out, but not wanting to worry the children to much, and not wanting them to ask too many questions, you and Kit decided to make the most of the sun and tire them out before it got dark. Kit, being the big kid he is, suggested playing a tag-like game Thomas invented, where you each get three pebbles each, and try to get each other out by throwing them. Gently. Unless you were throwing them at Kit.

Julia started slowing down when she reached the corner of the house, hoping to hide from you, but you were right behind her, making her turn around and burst out in giggles. When the 5-year-old laughed, the only thing you could see was the missing tooth she donated to the tooth fairy last night. Once you circled all around the house, you come back in view of the garden, and see Julia hiding behind Kit.

“That’s cheating!”, he exclaims, trying to run away from her and toss a pebble in her direction, only for her to do it faster. The second Julia’s tiny rock hits Kit’s tummy and bounced, he put his hands over his stomach and held it like a gun wound. He dropped to the floor dramatically, leaving the two little kids to die of laughter, and you walk over to him, Kit peeping open one eye slightly to see if you were watching him, and then stuck his tongue out to play dead. You picked up a stick from the floor and poked at his chest, making Kit chuckle but quickly hide it.

“Is it dead?”, you ask.

Thomas leans in closer to look at his dad on the floor, before Kit opens his eyes and pulls Tommy to the floor with him, rolling over to be on top of him.

“I win!”, Kit announces, before kissing his son on the cheek.

Franken Kyle

-He doesn’t particularly play complicated games, but he isn’t too patient and gets frustrated with himself pretty easily -If on one of his educational games, he messes something up too many times in a row, he’ll shut off the game and throw the tablet on the bed -He’ll avoid even looking at it -If he loses a tickle fight he’ll sit and whine, straddle you and then tickle you until you beg him to stop -Whines even if he loses at rock paper scissors -He likes colouring and drawing, and because it’s good for his motor skills, the two of you made a really simple game together -You drew out a long snake shape on a big piece of paper and drew lines in between for the spaces -Kyle carefully coloured them in with pencil and with a marker you wrote occasional things like ‘Go back two spaces’ or ‘Go forward three spaces’ -Sweet little Ky would roll the dice, and take his time, pushing his little figurine, which was something like a pencil sharpener or a bottle cap, and counted out the spaces -Got super excited if he won, but wouldn’t mind losing -He would insist the two of you keep playing, and you’re only allowed to stop and go to bed if you end on him winning -Sometimes he would try to let you win so that you could keep playing -Whine and pout if you had to stop playing, and how are you meant to say no to him? -You would have to promise you’ll play tomorrow -You’d be able to slowly make more and more complicated games, until eventually he’d be able to play things like checkers or Ludo

Jimmy

-Lowkey a sore loser -If there were loads of different people playing, he would be a lot more friendly -If he lost, he would still be super annoyed, but just wouldn’t show it -But if it was the two of you, he’d be super competitive -The type of person to flip the board game if he was losing -But he’d apologise straight away and pout if you didn’t want to play with him again - “C’mon let’s play again, I’ll be nice this time” - “Loser gets spanked” -Loves playing games like beer pong

James

-Unpleasant loser but also not a pleasant winner -Bitter compliments if you win at cards - “Well done darling, who would have thought with your high school education you were such a poker master” -Only willing to play the same 5 card games, because if you teach him a new board game he is not familiar with and he loses, he’ll claim it’s only because he’s new to the game -Absolutely infuriated if he loses at Monopoly, since he built a hotel after all -Don’t even bother trying to teach him how to play a video game -And of course - “Only amateurs keep score”

“What are you doing, dear?”, James said, fascinated at your little character wandering around a shop, on the screen in front of both of you.

“I’m trying to buy this plant, but I don’t have enough money, I want to see if I can sell anything I have”, you explain, pointing at your backpack filled with items that you can exchange for spare coins.

“Nonsense, darling, why don’t you simply stab the storekeeper and steal what you desire?”

“Because this is Animal Crossing, James, there isn’t a stab button”

Kai

-Kai likes playing video games or board games with literally anybody apart from you -He likes playing with Ozzy because he’s a kid so most of the time Kai can beat him easily -Definitely not the type of person to let the kid win, even if Ozzy is sobbing and Ally asks him to let Ozzy win once in a while - “Winning fairly will feel so much better for him” - “He won’t appreciate success if he doesn’t first taste failure” -Sometimes instead of story time with his troops he’ll play some board games -At first, everybody will keep letting Kai win out of fear -But eventually someone will win, and everybody else will be fearful for them, scared Kai will be angry - “Finally somebody capable, somebody strong, not scared to show their true capabilities” -But if you ask him to play a game with you, he probably won’t -If you eventually beg enough that he will agree to play a game with you, he’ll tell you he’s only playing one -If you win, he’ll be like, “Okay, are you happy now?” - “Finally it’s over” - “I let you win, are you happy?” -But if he wins, he’ll try to get you to play a few more games - “Are you giving up already?” - “Don’t be a sore loser, rise up to the challenge” - “I assumed you wanted to win, not just to play”

- (Kai loses) “See… you have to give a humiliated man a chance to redeem himself in his own ey-”

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honeyabyss · 3 years

Text

A humans mortality (Lucifer x Mc)

Summary: Mc suddenly realizes their own mortality and it scares them, but Lucifer is there to comfort and reassure. (This was a request by @number-0-iz, hope you like it!)

Warnings: some random demons threatens you, implied anxiety attack

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It had been a while since the day you arrived in Devildom. By now it felt almost like a second home, demons weren't that different from humans at most times.

Sure they still were supernatural beings who are more than capable of snapping you in half without any effort at all, but you always brushed all these small differences away.

Don't think about them! It had been your very first rule to be established for yourself at the start of the exchange year, to help and get more comfortable around these non-human beings. At one point the bad feelings slipped into the back of your mind, only once in a while emerging from it's deep sleep, for example when one of the brothers snapped yet again. But it didn't scare you anymore! You made friends among the demons, something you would have never thought for possible just one year ago, but here you are!

That doesn't mean though that all demons have accepted you...You were after all still a lowly human, just living under the protection of the demon lords. Some of those of lower ranking found it unbelievable. What did you do to make those mighty demons like you?

Some demons gossiped loudly in RADs hallways even when you passed them, some chose to envy you from the shadows, while others, more bolder maybe also less intelligent ones, tried to threaten you, to make you stay away from the beloved yet equally feared brothers. But as they never truly tried anything, due to one of your protectors being around you all the time, you ignored the comments.

It was late in the afternoon and Mammon had ditched you, it wasn't really planned, but someone he was indebted to had recognized him and started chasing him. You had tried to keep up with them, but they were too fast.

Not wanting Mammon to get into trouble for leaving you behind, you made your way back to the House of Lamentation.

The streets were bustling with demons of all kinds, shopping, going home, meeting and talking with others; it felt just like a normal day in a human realm city.

Though most of them were friendly to you, you didn't want to test your luck and briskly walked through the crowded streets, trying to avoid bumping into anyone.

Unfortunately that was deemed to be impossible and so you accidentally walked into a tall demon you didn't recognize, but instantly had a queasy feeling upon seeing his face.

The demon scowled at you, brushing some invisible dirt off the places you touched him.

A meekly muttered apology came from your mouth. You hadn't meant to cause trouble and definitely not to one that looked so dangerous.

The demon didn't respond at first he just stared at you. As you tried to sidestep around the demon, he moved with you, blocking your way forward.

"Where do you think you're going? Trying to escape? You didn't actually think I'd let you run off, right?"

You didn't answer, didn't even know what would be the best to respond now. All you could think of was that he hopefully wouldn't notice how your heart raced in fear.

"All alone today? None of the brothers are accompanying you? Have they finally realised how worthless you are? Maybe I should do them a favour and get rid of you for the sake of all of us?"

Your eyes were wide open, adrenaline pumping through your veins and your instinct told you to run, to run now, to run fast and to run far in hopes of escape, but your mind told you otherwise, you were no match to a fully grown demon, not even to a small one, running wouldn't help you.

You had always known that demons were demons, that there were distinct differences between your races, yet you pushed them away, for the sake of the exchange year you braved your way through the daily stress in hell, forgetting a small but important fact: you were very much still just a mortal.

Your own heartbeat resonated in your ears, blocking every other sound out, your hands felt clammy with the cold sweat of fear and your eyes didn't seem to be able to focus on anything. You were in absolute shock, desperately trying to find a way out of the situation.

The demon wraps his hand tightly around your wrist, but before he can start pulling you away another hand interferes, freeing you from your captor's bruising grip.

Lucifer is standing between you and the demon looking furious, he is yelling at the startled lower ranking demon in front of him, but you can't make out what he is saying as you're still in your stupor.

Your mind is still racing over time when Lucifer is starting to gently guide you back home. No words are said, and if he did, you didn't notice too caught up in your thoughts.

"I could have died...", you whisper after what feels like an hour later.

"But you're not. You're safe now. I won't let anything like that ever happen again to you.", Lucifer answers having heard your whispering. His hand is still holding yours so gently as if it were going to shatter at any moment.

Your head turns slowly towards him, only now you realize that you were sitting on the sofa in his room, when you had made it here you couldn't really remember. Everything seemed to be a blur.

With the knowledge of finally being at a safe place, your body decides to break down. Tears start to stream down your face and your whole body shakes with every sob. Lucifer's arms wrap around you, holding you firmly, yet not painful, against his chest, one of his hands continuously stroking over your head to comfort you.

Your hands grip the material of his shirt so tight that your knuckles turn white as you sob in the comfort of his arms.

"I-I could have died...I don't want to! I'm scared!", the more you think about it the more scared you get, and speaking it out loud doesn't help calm you down either. Your breathing is getting short and erratic, transporting only enough air into your lungs to stay conscious. The cold feeling of fear keeps spreading throughout your body, trying to consume you completely, only stopping at Lucifer's words.

"Don't be scared...I'm here with you. Let's calm down first before you hyperventilate...", his voice is low and soothing, slowly helping you to normalize your breathing yet a few sobs are still coming through every now and then.

"I'm not going to pretend I know how terrifying the thought of dying is...demons usually don't have to worry about that after all, but I experienced how much it hurts to lose a person, so I might know at least a bit more than others....Death...is inevitable for human beings. You may have a short life, but I believe you also get to spend the most beautiful ones."

You silently listen to him still wrapped up in his warm hug while you hide your tearstained face in his chest.

"The life of a demon can become quite lonely and boring sometimes, after all, living for multiple millennials is a long time, maybe even too long...A thing I enjoy today, might become the most boring thing in the next centuries. Trying to find new stuff to enjoy can be hard and you become unmotivated and sometimes demons even become numb to all joy...If it weren't for my troublesome brothers...it might have already happened to me as well", he lets out a small chuckle before continuing, "anyway, what I mean to tell you is that though your life is short, humans live their life to the fullest, getting to enjoy many different things, never having to worry about something becoming less entertaining in the next century. While humans live in the now, demons tend to forget this and either dwell in memories of the past or the worries of the future. A flower's beauty comes from their inevitability of wilting, because the short time of their lives when they blossom is also the part where they are loved the most! Maybe that is why humans have to die, their colours are too vibrant and beautiful to exist forever."

While attempting at comforting you, he was probably the most open and vulnerable he had ever been, but he didn't seem to mind, as long as it helped you he was happy.

"But your life isn't over yet, not even close to the end...I promise to protect you until your very last breath. And when the time comes to say goodbye to this world I'll be with you holding your hand, making sure you're okay. And afterwards, even when centuries have gone by, I will never forget you, you will live on in my memories forever. I promise you!"

#obey me lucifer #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me lucifer x mc #obey me luci x reader #obey me oneshot #oneshot #comfort

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anyoneseenadam · 3 years

Note

That fenrys fic was divine 😭🔥 can I request something for him having a nightmare for the first time since he found his mate and she comforts him and reassure him ?a tiny bit of angst maybe 💔🤧

pairing: Fenrys x reader (throne of glass)

warnings: blood, violence, nightmares, character death (kinda), mainly fluff with a lil bit of angst

a/n: I completely stole the first half of this from a short story I wrote about Achilles lmao, also THANK YOU FENRYS IS AN ICON AND DESERVES ALL THE LOVE WHICH I AM HAPPY TO GIVE, hope u enjoy <3

(I did not proof read this because I am tired :))

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Fenrys hands shook as they refrained from touching her, from pulling her in and wrapping himself around her, drowning in her hair, her skin, her clothes, her laugh, eyes, smile. She turned with a smirk and a cheeky eyebrow raise, beckoning him in. He lunged, grabbing her, ready to make true on his wish, staring in wonder as her solid form turned to mist in his hands as she moved further away. Her laugh drawing him in. And of course, he followed like the lost puppy he was, begging, and whining to return to comfort, home, safety. She was his home, and he would follow her to the ends of the world if it meant she stayed that way.

She had moved again, this time into a series of winding corridors, the maze he called his heart, a maze she owned. He chased after her, but she was quick, twisting and turning through corridors and secret doors, the map laid bare for her to see as he stumbled blinding, led only be the light she left in her path and her infectious laughter. Finally, she reached a dead end, casually bracing herself against the cold walls, releasing an exhale of laughter through her nose. He slowed his pace to a walk as she smiled up at him through curling lashes, nothing but the faint smudge of rouge high on her cheeks concealing her natural face to him, which he proceeded to wipe with his thumb when he reached her, his build towering over hers.

“Finished running, are you?” he mused quietly,

“I knew you wouldn’t let me get too far,” she whispered back, lips tracing his jaw.

“That’s because you hold my leash,” he allowed himself to concede, “always have, always will my darling.”

She let out a sigh of agreement, before leaning to his ear, their bodies pressed so tightly together he could feel her heart beating in his own chest, as if they had swapped hearts giving the other all they were, all they could be.

“There is no me without you.�� She uttered the vows they had made that beautiful day, where she dressed as the angel he was sure she was. He leaned down to express his love, but she did not allow him to rest in her arms for long, pulling away with a giggle.

“What?” he asked with a smirk, but she was already gone giggling behind him, the chase beginning again.

But as he turned, blessed by the smile she gave him, all pearly white teeth and rosy cheeks, the warning shout he cried was not quick enough as a wash of deep red replaced the once pure and untainted white of her smile. Her mouth filling with blood, the sword protruding from her stomach like a handle. She stared at him questions not asked soon enough as she splutters up blood onto her previously fresh clothes, eyes full of fear, splitting his heart in half, the ground crumbling beneath his feet.

He tried to run to her, hands grasping at air as he fell through the cracks in his own heart, a scream tearing from his throat as she was pulled from him, skin draining of colour and eyes turning black, full of hatred and contempt as she stared him down.

His own scream woke him up, sweat and tears blending on his face like paint on a pallet, as he gripped her pillow and sobbed on their bed. He herded himself into the far corner of the bed, afraid when he realised she was not lying next to him, comforting words, and gentle hands ready to lull him back to sleep. Fear and sadness battled in his heart, the heart he had given her during the war, the heart she had held safely as she cut her way through armies to reach him again. The heart she had put back together with soft kisses and words of undying love. The heart she had tied to her own the day they wed and had kept pressed safely in her chest since.

He looked now, tears blurring the image he was presented with, bookshelves filled with stories you promised you would read eventually, tubes of lipstick on the floor next to the frame of their mirror, tea left to go cold in mugs dotted around the room, sketches left to be forgotten on desks and ribbons tied haphazardly around bed posts.

He saw all these signs of you, the clues you left him as he navigated your shared life. His eyes darted around the room, breath picking up when he couldn’t see you, pressing a hand to your side of the bed and finding it warm, his breathing only slowing a little.

He stood, pulling on a pair of boxers, and grabbing two daggers he kept next to the bed as his mind filled with the worst possible scenarios. He slowly padded out the room, moving silently through the house and thinking of a million different ways to torture whoever had dared to touch you. The tears on his face had dried uncomfortably but it was the least of his worries as he stalked through his own home, fear clouding his judgement that argued you were probably safe.

He heard movement in the kitchen and walked that way, footsteps light as he rounded to corner to a beautiful sight. His arms dropped as he took in the sight of you in nothing but his shirt, sipping from a glass of water, illuminated by the moons glow. You turned when he walked in, smiling at his but furrowing your eyebrows when you saw his facial expression and the knives in his hands.

“Fenrys, what happened?” you asked, moving over to him as he threw his daggers down, arms encircling your waist as he breathed in your scent. “Fenrys please, you’re scaring me.”

He pulled away from you and you reached up, stroking a hand down his face and looking up at him with nothing but concern in your eyes, eyes that were searching his for any clues of why he was acting this way.

“I though you were- I thought someone had,” he struggled to get the words out, pulling you even closer, one hand tangling itself in your hair as you furrowed your eyebrows at him, kissing his sharp jaw.

“Slow down love, tell me what happened,” your soothing voice calmed him, his breath coming easier as you moved a hand to his shoulder, your loving grip grounding him.

“I had a dream, then I woke up and you weren’t hear and I- I thought someone had taken you,” he whispered, eyes filling with tears as he pictured your lifeless eyes and limp body.

“Oh my love, I’m sorry,” you pulled away from him, clasping his large hand in your smaller one and pulling him to your shared bedroom, “But you know I’m not easy to kidnap, I make too much noise.” You joked, holding his hand to your mouth, and kissing it lightly as you walked over to your bed.

He sat down first, and you stood between his legs, his arms wrapping tightly around you again. “Don’t joke about that,” he muttered into your stomach, but he couldn’t resist the smile forming.

You pushed his head back and climbed into his lap, arms resting on his shoulders. “I mean honestly, if I ever got taken hostage I’m pretty sure I’d annoy them into letting me go, I’d just start explaining my top three reasons why every Jane Austen novel contains gay subtext.”

“Or you could explain to them the tier list you and Aelin made of all the men you know.” Fenrys laughed as your eyes lit up.

“I forgot about that!” you exclaimed and Fenrys laughed, lying down, and pulling you with him as he tickled your sides, revelling in your squeals as you batted your hands at him.

When you calmed down, breathing quickly you rolled off Fenrys as he nestled himself between your breasts, holding you close.

“Please never leave me,” he whispered into your chest as he listened to the steady beat of your heart as it created a song just for him. The vulnerability in his voice broke you and you moved a hand to his head, stroking lightly.

“Never.” You spoke with such surety that Fenrys let out the exhale he had been holding in. “I am never going to leave you, I’m always going to be by your side.”

“I love you so much, so much when I thought you were gone, I felt sick. I can’t do this without you.” He whispered into your skin. “Sometimes I’m scared that one day I’ll wake up and all this will have been a dream. And I’ll have to lie with Maeve again and kill for her and watch her hurt Conall and it will be so much worse, because I’ll remember this softness, I’ll remember you and maybe one day I’d find you and you wouldn’t recognise me, and for the rest of my life I’d think of you, of the woman I never got to love.”

“This is real.” You whispered, kissing his head, and ignoring the tears welling in your eyes, “I’m real, you’re real. We’re real Fenrys.”

He didn’t reply, just buried his face deeper into your chest, addicted to the feel of your heartbeat. The constant reminder that you were here, you were alive. After he lost his brother you noticed Fenrys had become clingier, you initially presumed it was just because he was in mourning and needed comfort but one night he had drunkenly confessed his biggest fear to you. The nightmares he would have where you left him, told him you hated him, and the worst of all, the nightmares in which he watched your life be cruelly ripped from you. He could live with you hating him and leaving him, knowing that somewhere in the world you were safe and breathing, but everyday he feared your death.

The mornings he would wake up and find you wincing, a hot water bottle pressed into your lower stomach, the thought of you in any form of pain ripping into him, making his heartbeat faster and his palms sweat. The powerful warrior brought to his knees for you, but you were always quick to reassure him with kisses and promises of staying in bed all day.

As he breathed in your scent now and listened to your heartbeat, happily surrounded by you and only you, he allowed himself to relax under you soft touch, his own heart slowing to beat with yours as the fear slowly melted from him.

He needn’t fear your death, as he knew that he would never let you die. No, instead he would always fall before you, sacrifice his own life, any life if it meant you survived. You were a Goddess sent to bless him and he would fall to worship before you, always.

#acofas #acomaf #acotar #azriel #azriel x reader #acowar #acofs #acosf

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sunfleurry · 3 years

Text

Fires and Flames

Warnings: Smut, language, & alcohol.

Disclaimer: I write stories and use Harry Styles as a face claim. In no way shape or form does my writing reflect how I perceive the actual Harry to be. These are my characters, the face is just a bonus!

I should’ve left the minute I saw the look in his eyes when I told him. I was laying with my head on his chest, my bare skin sticking to his with the sheen of sweat covering our bodies. His fingers were lightly tracing the length of my spine as we caught our breaths in the quiet of the night under the lavish chandelier he had splurged on for his bedroom. I knew he could feel my heart rate speed up as my mind fought the urge to tell him, just tell him how I felt—how I still feel—before the courage I had would slip away. So, I did.

“I love you.”

If the room wasn’t quiet before, it was quiet now as his fingers stilled and we both stopped breathing. In my case, it was because I wanted to put all my focus on his response, his reaction, anything. In his case, well, I didn’t know why he did that. I thought it was from pure shock of hearing me say it for the first time, but deep down, I knew it was because of a deeper reason. A reason that would only be the downfall of what was once considered “us.” And I saw it coming the moment we met.

________________

My friend Vi was yelling something in my ear but I could barely hear her over the loud music, so I simply nodded. She looked at me weird and I realized that nod may have been the wrong response.

“I can’t hear anything you’re saying,” I yelled.

She leaned over and cupped her hands around my ear and proceeded to loudly repeat what she said. “That guy has been staring at you since we got here.”

“Who?”

She pointed at the bar and I followed her finger until I spotted a man in his mid-twenties who was alone, nursing a cup of God knows what. When we made eye contact, he nodded his head in acknowledgement then took a sip of his drink.

He was cute.

“Should I go talk to him?” I asked Vi.

“Are you kidding me? If you don’t I will.”

I laughed. She had a point. He was handsome, what with his brown hair that curled slightly around his ears and forehead, or the tattoos that littered his arms. I eyed his clothing and wondered if there were more underneath.

Straightening myself, I awkwardly started walking towards him, extra cautious of my ankles as I hoped my heels wouldn’t betray me in front of the handsome stranger. Seeing me approach, he set his glass on the counter, and watched me make my way over. I was getting self-conscious under his gaze, but I kept my head held high until finally I was standing right in front of him.

“Are you going to ask for my number or are you going to keep staring at me all night?” My words exuded the confidence I was not feeling on the inside.

His lips twitched, the corners turning upwards. It was barely noticeable, and I had to rip my eyes away from his gorgeous green ones to see it. “How about we skip all of that and go straight to mine.”

I laughed in disbelief. “No thank you.”

The man nodded in understanding, then turned back to his glass.

I don’t know why I didn’t leave him alone after that. Why was he here all alone? I asked him just that.

He slowly turned his body towards me before looking away a moment later. “Can’t a man go out for a drink on his own? Maybe I like my own company.”

“You don’t seem to be having a fun time.” I was overstepping it. Who was I to make assumptions about a stranger?

He sighed and looked down at his drink. I decided to sit next to him. “What’s your name?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

I rolled my eyes. Well, I tried. I put my palms on the counter to lift myself up when a ringed hand covered my own.

“It’s Harry,” he said.

I studied his face, trying to understand what exactly was going on inside his head. He had the eyes of a boy trying his best to make up for a mistake he didn’t know he made. He almost seemed desperate for me to forgive his aloofness. It was as if he was just learning how to be social for the first time.

I smiled and replied with my own name.

________________

Harry didn’t say anything for the longest thirty seconds of my life. I lifted my head to peer at him, trying to gauge what he was thinking. He was frowning lightly, his gaze fixed on my face but not my eyes. He seemed to be frozen on the outside, but I knew that his thoughts were running a mile a minute–it’s what he does. He’s an overthinker, and that moment was not different from all the other moments he had to stop and think about people’s intentions towards him.

I would be lying if I said the fact that he had to question my confession didn’t sting, or that the look in his eyes was nothing of what I wanted to see. I wanted to see relief, happiness, contentment. But all I saw was nothing. Emptiness.

Finally, he opened his mouth, and I stupidly felt a surge of hope, but then he closed it without a sound—and my hope deflated.

I leaned over and softly brushed my lips to his cheek. “It’s okay,” I whispered before I started detaching myself from him. I wanted to cry but not in front of him. Instead, with a heavy lump in my throat and tears threatening to spill, I found my panties on the floor and slipped them on, then threw his button up over my shoulders.

I heard rustling behind me, then my name sounding from his mouth stopped me at the doorway to his bathroom.

I turned around and he winced. I imagined it was because the emotion I’ve always been bad at hiding was clear as day on my face. It’s something I struggled with since I was a child and still try to work on to this day.

He was sat up now, the blanket covering his lower half, his back slightly curved. He looked at me with a pained face. “I don’t–”

“I know,” I sighed before concealing myself completely from his view by finally closing the door behind me and letting out a large breath. I clutched at the fabric covering my chest, as if I was holding in my aching heart, my tears spilling, one by one. I dropped my head in my hands to stifle my sobs, not wanting him to hear how much he affected me. I’m not sure why I thought that would work, when not two minutes ago I told him I loved him.

________________

That night, we ended up in my bed together.

“Yes,” I gasped, “harder.”

He fucked me like I’d never been fucked before. He was rough the way I liked it–he quickly learned how to push my buttons.

I was on my knees, my face pressed into the mattress as he took me the way he wanted to. My hands clenched around the sheets at a particular hard thrust and he groaned when I tensed around him. I gasped when he pulled out but then he flipped me over on my back. I smiled as he got on top of me, his arms caging my head, before he entered me once again.

I was mesmerized by the intensity in his eyes as he stole pleasure from my body. I wrapped my legs around his hips as did my arms around his shoulders to bring him closer to me. I welcomed his comforting weight on top of me.

I carded my fingers through his hair and when he moved his gaze from my breasts to my face, I couldn’t resist but lift my head and connect our lips. Upon realizing what I did, I quickly pulled away and opened my mouth to apologize profusely.

“I told you not to kiss me,” he panted as he pulled out of me.

“I know I’m sorry! I don’t know what got over me, I was just in the moment.”

He rolled off and slumped on the bed beside me, the both of us breathing hard. He was quiet, I didn’t know if he was expecting me to say anything else or if he was planning on leaving.

I swallowed and stared up at the ceiling feeling guilty. One of the first things he had told me when when we got in the cab was not to kiss him. I thought it was a weird request, and I was kind of bummed, but I respected it. I tried to at least.

I was about to start another wave of apologies, but I didn’t have time to think about what was happening before Harry leaned his weight on his elbow to slot his lips with mine. I didn’t think twice as I kissed him back, brushing away the initial shock. I realized at that moment that I liked kissing him. A lot.

With his lips still moving with mine, he got back on top of me, and finished what he started.

________________

After a moment of trying to control my breathing, I slipped off what little clothing I had on and climbed into the shower. The steamy water hitting my body helped me relax and my mood lifted slightly as I washed and soaped my skin and hair. Watching the water fall down the drain, I imagined it to be my feelings, one by one, disappearing into the ground and out of sight.

I faintly heard the bathroom door open, then his footsteps, and finally the shower door. Harry climbed in behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, and pulled me closer, holding me against him. His damp curls tickled my cheek when he leaned forward and kissed my neck twice, before bringing his lips up to my ear.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

I swallowed the lump that had once again formed in my throat. I brought my hand to my stomach where his arms were and entwined our fingers. “I’m not taking it back. I meant it.”

He kissed my skin again. “I know.”

I rolled my lips inward as I nodded my head once, then turned around, his arms still encircling my body. I reached up and gently held his face to simply lock eyes with him. I secretly cursed him for making my heart stutter just by looking at him, at those eyes that say so much, yet nothing all at once. I’d always been captivated by them, not just by their striking green colour, but the stories they hid. Every day, I tried so hard to read him, understand what he was thinking about, what he was worrying about, what he was remembering–I even asked him at times, “what are you thinking about?” or “what is it?” He’d always just shrug, smile and kiss me to make me forget. But I never forgot.

________________

It wasn’t the first time this happened. I was in the kitchen washing the dishes and he was in his room. I was drying my hands when suddenly I heard him call out my name. The tone of his voice had me drop the towel on the floor and hurry towards his bedroom. He was leaning over his dresser, an arm on the top keeping him upright as he took shallow breaths.

“Oh, Harry,” I whispered as I rushed to his side.

I carefully led him to his bed to have him sit down. “Breathe with me,” I said, gently.

His eyes were wild as he tried to comply. I breathed calmly and grabbed his hand, urging him to copy me. The contact seemed to help as he started to calm down.

“Now count with me,” I said. “We’re going to get through this.”

After a while, his breathing finally eased up, and tears welled in his eyes but didn’t fall.

“Come here,” I said as I helped him lay down. I crawled behind him and tangled our legs together while I hugged his back to my chest. I kissed his hair as I worked on keeping my breathing steady, making sure he was still doing the same.

“Don’t ever leave me,” he croaked.

“I’m right here,” I whispered into his hair.

“I need you.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

________________

He let go of me when I grabbed the shampoo. I squeezed some onto my palm as he sat on the protruding ledge in the shower, making it easier for me to reach his hair. One thing I knew about Harry was that he loved it when I washed his hair. I didn’t mind, because it gave me an excuse to run my hands through it, another feature to admire of the man I fell in love with. I could feel my eyes stinging once again and this time I let the tears fall freely. He was peering up at me as I lathered his hair with my fingertips, making sure I soaped his roots thoroughly. I hoped my tears were blending into the water–that he didn’t know I was crying–but then his face fell in concern.

“Hey,” he slid his hands behind my thighs to urge me closer. “Come here.”

That did it for me. A sob clawed its way out of my throat, and Harry quickly sat me on his lap as I buried my face into his neck and let everything I was holding in escape. I felt him lean forward before the water was shut off and we were left in the steam of the shower as I proceeded to break in his arms.

________________

“What the fuck is this, Harry?” I was seething.

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“Of course it’s what it looks like!” I yelled as I shoved the phone in his face.

“They’re just friends,” he sighed.

Tears of frustration welled up as I tried to grasp at this whole mess. “You left, Harry. Without a fucking word and days later I find pictures of you at some beach resort with a random girl all over you?”

He held his hands up. “We were just dancing, I promise.”

I pulled at the roots in my hair. “You don’t get it! Forget what you were doing at that exact moment, Harry! I visit you every day because I care about you and I get worried about you and I want to make sure you’re okay. Then one day you don’t answer the door and excuse me for thinking of the worst case scenario! You don’t answer my calls or my texts, hell, I even fucking emailed you, only to find out days later via Instagram that you were outside of the fucking country having the time of your life?!”

I fell back on the couch feeling nothing but raw anger and hurt as I waited for him to say something.

He got on his knees in front of me but I moved my head out of the way when he tried to cup my face. “Don’t touch me.”

“Baby–”

I balled my hands into fists. “Don’t call me that, I don’t want to hear you calling me that right now.”

“Fine, fine,” he cried. He hugged my legs and laid his head on my knees. “I’m so sorry. You may not believe me but I thought of you every day while I was gone.”

I scoffed at that and crossed my arms over my chest, making sure I didn't touch him. I quickly wiped at the wetness on my cheek, not wanting him to see that I am not only mad, but also sad and hurt. “Disrespect me one more time and we’re over, Harry.”

His head snapped up and panic took over his features. “No, please. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

I started crying because everything was too much for me. He did something that had me panicking for days.

“I don’t deserve you,” he continued.

“This isn’t the first time you do this, Harry,” I sniffled. He got off the floor and pulled me into his arms as he laid back on the couch.

“I know and I am so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed, and I feel like I’m in a box, like my surroundings are closing in. It makes me want to escape, it’s animalistic, I feel like I’m going crazy. At that moment, as if someone was listening to my prayers to make it go away, my friend called me asking me if I wanted to go on a short getaway with him and some other people. I said yes and out of sheer desperation, booked a flight right away.”

“And you didn’t even think of me.”

He held me tight. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t know what I was thinking. It was like I blacked out. Again, I am so sorry.”

I let out a long, exhausted breath. I knew what I was getting myself into when I met Harry yet I still went through with it. He was a sad man, a broken man and I still believed he would be the perfect boyfriend. “It’s okay,” I rubbed his chest. “It’s okay.”

As we both laid there in each other’s arms, I couldn’t help but think, I shouldn’t have been comforting him. He was supposed to be comforting me.

________________

“Please don’t cry,” I heard him say as he brushed back my wet hair, the majority of it sticking to my neck. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

I continued to cry into his neck, not believing how much I had bottled up until that moment. Suddenly I felt wet droplets soak my skin, and I knew it wasn’t the water.

A sniffle escaped Harry and it confirmed my suspicions as he hugged me closer and cried with me. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered brokenly.

I closed my eyes, as we held each other tightly, and didn’t deny it. He was right, I thought sadly, he didn’t deserve me. He put me through hell, and I let him. I naively believed that I could change him, make him feel better–fix him. I wanted to laugh at myself. How could I have been so stupid? He pushed me away too many times to count, yet I stubbornly stayed. Because I loved him. I let myself fall in love with him. And now we’re both facing the heartbreak that’s been looming over our relationship–or whatever it was–since the start.

When I reluctantly leaned back to look at him, I wanted to break down all over again. I’d never seen him cry, and it was a sight I wished I could unsee because his sadness felt like a stab in my heart. I always knew he was a sad man but I’d never seen it on his face so clearly. I saw it through his actions, through his words, but seeing the red eyes, the lowered brows, the downturned lips that I thought about every day, and the tears that littered his red cheeks made me wish I was some magical being who can erase the broken pieces of him.

His gaze followed the movement of my throat as I swallowed then it lifted back up to my own. It was like we were having a silent conversation with our eyes–like we were both dreading opening our mouths and actually sounding out the words that would be the end of us. Then his hand trailed up my skin and the pressure of it on the back of my head encouraged me to lean forward and attach my lips to his.

________________

I smiled brightly as I spotted Harry sitting on a park bench reading a book. He looked so handsome in his tortoise shell glasses and messy hair. As if sensing my presence, he looked up and the smile that graced his features made me want to melt in a puddle. That smile. All for me, I thought giddily as I hurried my pace, eager to be in his arms.

Then, I felt a tug on my skirt and fingers brushing the skin on my thighs. My eyes widened as I looked at the man who had just walked by me and didn’t even look back. When I snapped my gaze to Harry, he was already marching towards the man who had touched me, completely ignoring my pleas to let it go.

“Are you okay?” He asked, eyes still glaring at the man who was now talking to a woman ten metres away.

“I’m fine, Harry,” I said warily, putting my hands on his chest.

“That fucking entitled prick,” he said, anger boiling inside him.

“It’s all good, calm down.”

“Fuck this,” he brushed my hands off and stomped towards the man. The latter barely got a look at him before my boyfriend’s fist connected with his face.

The woman and I let out a short scream. I ran towards Harry, pulling his shoulders to get him off the stranger who was now on the floor, flimsily blocking the onslaught of Harry’s hits to his face.

“Harry! Stop!”

He didn’t seem to hear me as he didn’t let up. I looked around for help, but everyone seemed happy to watch two men fight. I gasped when the man was able to hit Harry in the jaw. There was no room for careful consideration before I flung myself towards the two men with the intention of throwing myself in between them before someone grabbed me by the waist.

“Get off me!” I yelled at the boy who was holding me back but he only laughed.

I was beyond exasperated and annoyed. “Harry, I swear to God if you don’t stop I will turn around and never look back.”

He seemed to hear that at least. The creep put me down, thankfully before Harry saw.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

________________

I poured every emotion into the kiss. I held his head in my hands as our lips moved together in sync, like they always did. I was telling him I loved him again with that kiss. He nudged my leg and I complied with his silent request to bring it over his lap to straddle him.

He deepened the kiss as his arms snaked around my waist. He’d never kissed me like that, like he was desperately trying to make me understand who he was and why he was the way he was. He kissed me with love and comfort, happiness and fulfillment, but also with sadness and regret, sorrow and dejection.

I was growing tired of my tears but they seemed to be here to stay as my eyes started watering again. “I don’t know how I’ll live after this,” I choked but he only shook his head as he brushed a piece of my hair behind my ear.

“You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Listen to me,” he pleaded when I looked down, unable to hold eye contact. He nudged my chin up to lock eyes once again. “You are the light of my life. And I’m begging you,” he whispered, his breath fanning my lips, “don’t let me be the reason that light goes out. I’ve done enough damage, don’t let me do any more.”

________________

I loved him like this. Relaxed, no creases between his eyebrows, a smile on his face. We were spending the afternoon at my place–talking and laughing about stupid things, the wine we drank making us even more giggly.

We were progressing with our relationship and I was somewhat satisfied with it. I knew it would be tough to get him to open up, but slowly and surely, he’d been getting much more comfortable around me–enough to tell me more about himself. Not his secrets of course, the ones that left him the broken man he is, but he was definitely becoming more affectionate. He was letting me in. I had seen pictures of his brothers and sisters and his mother and father around the house but every time I asked about them, he’d shut down.

I asked him again another time and he gave me a little more.

“They’re not around anymore.”

That could mean so many different things, but I decided that was enough for now. I was satisfied with the fact that he was able to give me that sliver of information. Any progress was good progress.

“We’re all out of wine,” I pouted as I stared at the empty bottle on the coffee table, leaning back into the loveseat.

He chuckled. “There may or may not be an extra bottle in the kitchen.”

I jumped up and started making my way to the kitchen but as I passed by him, he intercepted me and I squealed as he left me to fall on his chest. “I hate you,” I laughed.

He kissed my nose, making me giggle. “No you don’t”

“No I don’t.”

“See?” He asked as his hand tickled my side.

I squirmed out of the way, an obnoxious laugh escaping me. “I need to get the wine.”

“I don’t want wine anymore,” Harry said, encouraging me to lay my head on him. “I have you now.”

I sighed in contentment and smiled as I listened to his heartbeat.

________________

“I love you.”

“Don’t,” he winced. “Please.”

I kissed him again and he responded without hesitation. This time, the kiss held more passion and fervour. It reminded me of the first time we had sex almost a year and a half ago, when it was all a rush and we couldn’t get enough of each other. I moaned when his tongue touched mine and he reached down to slip his fingers between my folds, the palm of his hand a constant pressure on my clit. I whined into his mouth when he inserted a finger inside, then two, and started carefully rubbing my inner walls. I reached down and grabbed his dick and stroked until I felt it start to harden in my hands.

“That’s enough,” I mumbled and reached down to stop his hand. I was already going to come.

“I’m sorry. I just assumed–”

“No,” I pressed my lips to his in a searing kiss. “That’s not what I meant.”

I ran my thumb over the tip of his length and he shuddered. “Are you sure?”

I smiled sadly and rested a hand on his cheek. “Yes.”

He helped me lean forward, letting me align his length with my centre before I started sinking down, and he slowly entered me in a way I never got used to. The delicious stretch always required a moment for me to adjust before I started moving. He tightened his hold on me when I started doing just that.

________________

“Harry,” I asked as I brushed his hair with my finger. We were sitting on the floor, my back to the couch as he sat between my legs. I had just helped him through another panic attack and there we were, fifteen minutes later still on the floor. My ass was getting numb but I didn’t want to get up until Harry was ready. “Have you ever considered therapy?”

He stiffened. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Let’s not talk about it.”

“But–”

He turned around and gave me a long look.

“Okay, fine,” I sighed.

He leaned over and kissed me. “Thank you.”

I said, “This isn’t over. I’m not letting this go.”

“I know,” he shook his head before making me lay down on the floor and trailing his lips across my chest. “Need you.”

I laughed and helped him undress me.

________________

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” I gasped as I started moving with the help of his hands on my hips.

The steam from our shower was already fading away, but the heat remained and paired with our movements, sweat coated our bodies, allowing us to move more easily against each other.

My knees were planted on either side of him on the ledge as he held me to him to prevent me falling backwards. Our lips never separated, moaning into each other’s mouths as we relished in the feeling we were experiencing for the last time. The thought made a sob escape my mouth and he squeezed my hips, pausing my movements.

“We can stop,” he mumbled sweetly, ducking his head to try and get me to look at him.

I shook my head. “I’m sorry, I’m fine,” my voice broke at the last syllable. Finally mustering up the courage to look at him, I only wanted to cry harder. He had tears falling, eyes red and sad, and I wished we could turn back time and fix every problem we had the way we were supposed to. I wished we were other people, in another lifetime, who had no issues and who knew how to make us work.

“Come here,” he said and I closed my eyes when his lips touched mine.

I started moving again and he whispered words of encouragement and praise.

Break-up sex was supposed to be quick and dirty. What we were doing right then was sheer torture. We were prolonging the pain, both too scared to face what reality we would face as soon as we were done.

________________

“Harry, we need to talk about this.”

It was another fight. About the same damn thing.

He snapped his head towards me.

“You can’t keep relying on me for your happiness.”

He frowned. “What does that even mean?”

“I mean you finally agreed to go to therapy which is great, but this is the fourth time you ‘forgot’ to go this month.”

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

I wanted to roll my eyes. Why out of all times, he chose then to act stupid? “Baby, if you would just talk to me, open up to me, I wouldn’t be after you about this but you won’t even tell me anything. Sometimes I sit back and think to myself, I know nothing about him. My own boyfriend.”

He scoffed. “You know plenty.”

I grew restless. “I know your name, I know where you work, I know your favourite drink–especially because you reach for it more than you should.”

He grit his teeth at the last statement but I stood by it. I continued, “I know your birthday, I know what car you drive.”

“What’s my favourite colour?”

“Orange. Harry, that means fuck all compared to what I am trying to tell you. I don’t know where you grew up, I don’t know any of your friends–”

“I told you why! They’re not good people!”

“Then why do you spend time with them? Tell me why!”

“I don’t need to tell you anything,” he snapped.

I decided the best response was to walk away, which was what I did. Fuck that, I couldn’t deal with him anymore.

“Don’t walk away from me!” He yelled and I could hear his footsteps catching up to mine.

That fight ended one of both ways all our fights ended. With me comforting him or sex.

________________

His arms wrapped tightly around me, holding me in place as he started rutting upwards. The moans I emitted told him he was hitting that sweet spot inside me with every thrust. I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on his as I let myself feel every inch of him as he got more rough by the second. I knew he was watching me but I couldn’t take it anymore–looking into his eyes hurt my heart, I could feel it break the longer I stared at him. For the first time since I met him, I let myself hide from him. I didn’t give him what he wanted, I didn’t keep my eyes open the way I knew he wanted. I stood my ground, kept my eyes closed despite the tears slipping past my lids, and selfishly let myself feel him for the last time.

My climax hit me out of nowhere and I jerked forward, clawing at his shoulders as he continued to pound into me. My moans echoed loudly in the closed shower stall as I continued to tense around him.

Harry groaned as he held my head in his hands and wiped my tears with his thumbs. I finally lost self control–I let my eyes meet his and saw grief, a look I had only seen once and that was when I asked him about his family. “Harry,” I breathed.

“Shhhhh,” he kissed me. “I’m okay. I’m only worried about you.”

I shook my head. “No, you—“

He kissed me again to shut me up. I reciprocated this time.

Suddenly he groaned as he thrusted a couple more times and I winced from the sensitivity down there. He tensed and burrowed his face in my neck allowing me to hold him close through his orgasm as he breathed hard and finally spilled into me. I didn’t want him to let go. I didn’t want this to be the end.

“I love you, Harry.”

He didn’t say anything.

I separated myself from him and he steadied me before I looked at him for the last time while wiping his wet cheeks. I couldn’t resist leaning down and giving him the softest of kisses.

“I don’t regret you.”

Then I left.

Part 2

A/N: HI BITCHES IM BACK AFTER A MUCH NEEDED MENTAL HEALTH BREAK <3 I missed you. I’m gonna be uploading my favourite fics that I deleted months ago along with my blog.

#harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles one-shot #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst

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jessiebanethedragon · 3 years

Text

I Just Have to Get This Off My Chest

Din x Reader (SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 15)

is the title the title of the fic or is it the explanation as to way i wrote this instead of the three essay’s i have due soon. Who knows? certainly not me.

You had not felt well for some time. Every moment that was not distracted by something else allowed you to feel the pooling sickness in your stomach. Grogu was gone.

You had cried only in private, hidden away in the forest of Tython, covering your tears with your hands and sobbing into the ground. Din had never felt so powerless, when you finally re-emerged from the wooded area, he said nothing of the invasion of privacy he’d committed via the sensors on his helmet. Instead he walked up the ramp of Slave I with you to leave the cursed planet. Maybe, you were thankful for Mayfeld’s incessant chatter. It gave you something to focus on other than the missing warmth in your heart that was occupied by the little green creature.

“You still with us?” he asked, turning around and waving a hand over your face. It snaps you back to the moment, but the guilty feeling does not fade completely.

“Yeah,” You breathe. And finally relent, pulling off the helmet for fresh air. Din turns his head ever so slightly to catch the way your hair becomes messy. “Focus.” he reprimands Mayfeld, you almost feel bad for the guy, you're both so on edge he’s driving with ticking time bombs, and that’s without the Rhydonium.

“Where.” Din demands, roughly pressing his hands into the gaps between the baggy fitting armor. One of the pirates landed a solid blow to your side and the mandalorian wont let it go.

“Mando i’m fine.” You tell him, huffing when his hands get rougher trying to feel underneath the crappy empire issues durasteel.

“Where did you get hit.” He demands again, hands landing on your shoulders and shaking you slightly. Mayfeld is right, Din is desperate.

“Din…” You whisper side glancing to make sure prying ears are out of reach. “I’m okay, I promise.” You wonder for a second if you should put your forehead against his, something he’d done after the fight with Moff Gideon, after you thought you’d never see him again. You remember seeing him limp down with IG-11, barely alive in the darkness. You remember running to him without thinking twice, the stupid, stupid, mandalorian who would rather die than break his creed. The stupid mandalorian you know now you cannot live without.

“Hey, you two might want to stop acting like a couple of DUM - Pit Droids because we’ve got a problem.” Mayfeld says jogging over to you both.

“What.” Din snaps the unfamiliar hemet turning to the man at hand. You hate how it looks on him, it is strange, unfamiliar, so un-him that you’re longing for him to get the Beskar back on.

“I can’t go in there.” He says gesturing behind him. “That’s Valin Hess, I served under him, I'll be recognized.” You lean over to look at the officer, and then behind you into the open area.

“The officers' quarters are close enough.” You think aloud. “Stay here, I'll drop a detonator. Distract them.”

“No way you can make the trip without being caught.” Mayfeld argues.

“Hey, I used to do this professionally. Let me handle it.” You tell him with a small smile, this is herding Bantha’s compared to your old job.

“Kriffing spy’s” Mayfeld murmurs.

“As far as the empire is concerned I’m still an official agent.” You correct him, and you turn to leave but a gloved hand wraps around your wrist, his iron grapes holding you back. You look at the unfamiliar mask, and slowly, Din loosens his hold and watches you go.

The hallways are always the same, no matter how many planets, or ships you were stationed on, the empire always looked the same, your boots always made the same sounds, and an uncaught rebel-spy always knew where she was going. Order, Mayfelds voice echoes in your mind, yes there is order here. But Grogu isn’t. And that’s what matters to you right now, nothing else but the poor child that you’d had the fortune stumbling upon on a Navaro recon mission. You praise your own inability to let go of the past, for without it you never would’ve been investigating the imperial outpost, never would have met a cold mandalorian and never learnt that he, in fact, burned brighter than any kyber crystal in the galaxy.

The detonator rolls smoothly from your hand as you turn away from the barracks. Jogging back to the control center a soft smile on your face as the hiss and pop sends the familiar signals blaring. When the coast is clear you don’t stop running until you slide into the mess hall, and stop dead in your tracks.

Din is gone.

Mayfeld is standing over at least half a dozen bodies, save for one man who’s back is to you. Your blood freezes when you make the realization as the helmetless man turns towards you. He has brown hair, and you can see where the helmet has ruffled his curls. The slight scruff highlights his face, and draws you in towards his eyes. His wonderful brown eyes.

It’s the mandalorian. It’s your Mandalorian.

You know you should close your eyes, but they can’t move from his, so many nights on the razor crest were spent wondering about the colour of his eyes.

“You ever seen his face?” The memory of Mayfeld in a different place at a different time floods you. The way he teased about how close you and the mandalorian couldn’t be, because you didn’t know what he looked like. Pressing you against the bars of the prison they’d trapped him in, laughing when you couldn’t even give them a name. Taunting your own life in front of you at the end of a blaster. “She doesn’t know!” Xi’an sneered as you fought against Qin pinning you into the bars, using you as a tool in his revenge. It is as if you are meeting him for the first time again, the man in shiny beskar who had whispered his name to you after the incident involving Mayfeld himself. The mandalorian who ran his fingers over the marks the bars had indented into your skin. “Din. my name is Din.”

“I’ll go look… actually i’ll secure the roof.” Mayfeld stumbles through his words watching as you tear up at seeing, really seeing him for the first time. You choke on your word when he crosses the room stopping when he hears the small noise. Noticing how you finally seem to come back into yourself and squeeze your eyes shut.

“Cyare.” He says, sounding so different without the helmet on.

“Put it back on.” You rush out. “I didn’t see, we’ll kill Mayfeld, keep your creed.” you know it’s a lie, but you say the words in a jumble anyways.

“We were running out of time, this was my choice. Open your eyes, it’ll be okay.” Din reassures you. So you take a deep breath and listen to him.

“You’re so handsome.” You say without thinking, because he’s stunning up close, where you can see every detail in full. Standing mouth slightly agape as you memorize your mandalorian’s face. Your hand goes to touch him but you stop yourself, Din notices of course, and guides your hand to his face. You were right. He does burn brighter than any kyber crystal in the galaxy. Heated honey to your touch.

“I’m in love with you.” You’re learning many things about the man under the mask today, maybe it’s time he learns something about you. So you thread your hands into his hair and pour your love into a kiss. Din gasps, shocked, and part of you wonders if this is his first. But he reciprocates by moving his arms around your middle to bring you as close as possible to him.

When you part because of shots outside, he puts the helmet back on. And you immediately wish you had had a chance to kiss him again before he did.

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multific · 3 years

Text

Beyond Houses

Fred Weasley x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: You had enough of the labels! Why can’t your best friend be a Hufflepuff, and why can’t you be madly in love with a certain ginger Gryffindor?

A/N: GIF’s not mine, credit goes to its owner.

When your studies at Hogwarts began, you actually quite liked the idea of the four houses. They gave a nice aesthetic and you were sure you were in the company of people whom were similar to you.

However as the years passed you began to notice a few things.

You made friends easily, one girl, Nora who was in Hufflepuff was very close to you. You and her always went to classes together and had a lot of fun.

However when other people in Slytherin noticed you hanging out with her, they behaved like she was the enemy. You couldn’t understand why.

“Slytherin are too good for Hufflepuff.” one of the boys said.

From that day on, you hated the group. They were worse than Malfoy. Thinking they were all mighty and great because of the colours they wore and house they were in.

Little do they know that in the outside word, Hogwarts houses mean nothing.

Of course, you continued being friends with Nora. You chose your friend and would do that again.

The group however didn’t like that you ignored their warnings. In just about a few days, every person in Slytherin treated you like an outsider.

But they didn’t break you.

You were proud to be a Slytherin, however you didn’t want to be like them, close-minded.

But the biggest shock to you was when you realized that it wasn’t just that group, other houses were the same. Gryffindor didn’t like to hang out with Slytherin, a girl rejected a boy because he was in Slytherin while she was in Ravenclaw.

Of course, there were people who didn’t care about that. Thankfully, those were the majority, however those other cases truly confused you.

And then, it happened to you.

Your eyes were caught by a certain red-head in the Great Hall. Both you and Fred were in year six at the time. The first spark, and it ignited a fire in you.

Nora was thrilled that you finally had a crush. She thought you might not be interested in dating, so when this happened, she already had five plans on how to get you and Fred together.

Especially since it was the Triwizard Tournament, the opportunities were endless.

The only real problem was his twin, George, who was always with him.

“My plan is bullet proof, Y/N. I bet by the end he will even ask you to the dance!” she said, clearly super excited. “All we need now is to get George out of the way. I will ask him to come with me and help me with something and in the meantime, you go over there and score! Now, which one is which?” Nora asked as she looked at you.

You looked over to the two guys who were talking on a bench.

“Fred is on the right, George is on the left.” you didn’t know how, but you could tell them apart, it was a skill you were proud of. You trusted Nora, and you were sitting on your crush for months now, so it was time to act.

Nora easily got George away. Although Fred did try and go with her, she refused. So, there he was sitting on the bench alone, waiting for his brother to come back.

It was your time to shine.

You let out a long sigh and walked out from behind the pillar, making it look like you just came around the corner. You took the steps down, however slipped on the last.

You tried to keep your balance, but you ended up falling. You were more surprised and embarrassed than hurt.

“Are you okay?” you head Fred’s voice as he grabbed your arm and helped you up.

“I’m fine, thank you. These damn stairs are so slippery.” you said looking up at him. He laughed a little and helped you to sit on a bench.

“Well, yeah. During our first year George fell too. Thankfully you weren’t hurt.”

“Yeah. Speaking of which, where is your other half?”

“Oh, he went to help Nora with something. She said something about needing someone tall.”

“I see. So, you are all alone? If you want to we could go and have something to eat?” you didn’t know where the courage came from to ask him, but you did.

However the grimace he made, told you everything you needed to know. He will make up an excuse.

“Sorry, but I rather wait for George, I said I would be here.”

“Oh, no problem. Maybe another time?” This is when you noticed people coming and he stood up very quickly.

“Another time.” he said to you before he rushed to sit two benches away from you.

You were completely rejected, and you knew why. It wasn’t you, it was your house.

“I though you would be different you know.” you said a bit louder as you looked at him once the people have passed. You didn’t want to give them a show. Fred looked at you with round eyes. “Everyone is so judgmental, I thought you would be better. You rejected my idea because I’m Slytherin right?” Fred’s mouth opened but no sound came out. “It’s okay, I know I’m the idiot here. Having a crush on a Gryffindor... I just...Ugh, forget it,” you said as you stood up and left. You rushed back to your room and stayed in bed all day.

***

The fact that you were rejected hurt.

It hurt more than you thought it would. You hoped that Fred would see more than just houses. You hoped that he would see you and not Slytherin. Unfortunately, you were wrong.

You didn’t want to leave your room the next day, but you knew better than to not attend Snape’s class.

The whole day went on normal, you ignored everyone especially Fred as you and Nora enjoyed the day.

“We should go shopping. A new store opened at Hogsmeade and I saw some amazing new scarf and thing!”

“Sounds fun.” you said as you two left. You were unaware of a certain boy’s eyes that followed you, filled with regret.

***

You had an amazing afternoon with Nora.

“The Ball is tomorrow! Can you believe it! I still can’t believe Steve asked me!” Steve was a Ravenclaw, very smart guy, one of the people who didn’t care about houses and he obviously had a crush on Nora for a long time now. Meanwhile you will go with a fellow Slytherin guy who asked you out just today.

You decided that this Yule Ball was the worst possible thing you ever participated in.

As it turned out, the guy who asked you to go with him wanted you to go with him so his ex would get jealous, not because he liked you. And in addition, you got to see everyone having fun, while you sat in the corner of the room, mopping.

Well, at least Nora was having an amazing time.

Just as you decided to go back to your room, your eyes locked with Fred’s. It was only a second before you looked away and stood up. Just as you did, Hermione rushed out of the room, sobbing. You looked back, but no one was following him.

You found her on the bottom of the stairs.

“Are you okay?” you asked, “Silly questions, sorry. Look, I don’t know who broke your heart. But, my grandma always told me not to cry over any man. They are not worth it, the only man who worth the tears is the one you will call, son.” you offered her a kind simple before heading up the stairs.

“Y/N,” you heard your name being yelled. You recognized the voice and against your better judgement, you stopped and looked at Fred.

“Hi Fred,” you said looking right into his eyes.

“I realize I behaved like a bloody moron the last time we spoke. It was just like you said. But I should know better that to judge people like that. You opened my eyes, I would like to apologize and to ask you on a date.”

You weren’t expecting him to be so upfront about this. But you sure didn’t mind that he wasn’t wasting your time.

“Umm. I don’t know if I should believe you. Is this a prank?” you asked looking around, trying to see if anyone was there but the hallway was empty besides you and Fred.

“No, no prank. I’m serious. And before you think I’m only doing this to help my guilt, yeah, partially, but I also do like you. I had a crush on you since second year.”

You squinted your eyes, trying to see if he was joking or not, but you decided to give him a chance.

“Fine. Tomorrow, meet me at the Great Hall, let’s have lunch together.”

“Perfect! Thank you so much.” he rushed and gave you a hug. He tried to pull back but you didn’t let him go. This is when you noticed just how much taller he was compared to you.

After a few minutes he started swaying the two of you, the music from the Ball could be heard faintly.

“You are beautiful in this dress.”

“You don’t look too bad either.” you said with a smile and a little blush, still swaying in his arms as you hugged his torso, listening to his heart beat.

This was the exact moment you could finally feel free, free of houses, free of labels and in love.

You just knew, finally your life can begin, with Fred Weasley.

Taglist: imreadinggoaway fleursirvart v-2bucky ehsebastian crunch-time-sports pxstelrainbow ablogbypeteparker liamssmiler smexylemony greenarrowhead feelingsareharddd thisismysecrethappyplace sincerelyfan theoneanna aestheticsandmarvel rororo06 castellandiangelo avengers-r-us destynelseclipsacastellandiangelo spilledinkindumpster celebsimagines capsiclesdoll firstangeldragonranch snoopy3000 firstangeldragonranch puknow crazzyter alwayshave-faith soleil-dor alex12948 scream-kiwi79

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

My taglist is open!

Feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank You for reading my story!~

#fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley imagines #fred weasley x you #harry potter fanfic #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagine #harry potter imagines

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kiwi-the-first · 3 years

Text

The Best Lover In The Parsec

Oneshot

Pairing: Din Djarin x GN!Reader

Fandom: Star Wars/The Mandalorian

CW: Fluff oh gods so much fluff, *slaps roof of the fic* this baby can fit so much yearning in it! Salt bae angst action, guest appearance of one(1) line of having the word "making love" and including one corny joke.

TW: mention of near death experience,self loathing,body image issues,canon-typical violence.

A/N: I keep mentioning it, this is my first piece of fanfiction writing. So I really really hope you guys like it. I am scared shitless. Never thought I'd ever write this but 2020 said fuck it you're writing fanfics now. Special thanks all of my writer friends for encouraging,helping and inspiring me everyday into making this happen. Iysm!

Enjoy!

- Kiwi

Masterlist

You.

He didn't know what to do with you.

He couldn't explain what you made him feel.

He couldn't explain how you made him feel.

But he knew the answers, he knew the words to describe it. He knew the scent of you and the dreamy sigh that escapes him everytime,he enters the fresher after your shower.

He knew the sound of your voice and how it soothes his longing soul and fills in for the silence of the crest, or "home" as you liked to call it.

How he instantly melted after hearing you speak his name for the first time.

You knew it was sacred due to his creed but he had insisted that he trusted you well enough to tell you.

“Din Djarin?” you asked and he nodded.

“What a beautiful name” you smiled.

He breathing hitched and swore to the Mythosaur he never saw anything as pure as that. Well maybe the kid but he was your foundling so of course.

You two are the most precious purposes to him.

Your eyes, so beautiful that he couldn't stop looking at them, a colour picked by nature itself and poured in by artists. Filled with a cacophony of emotions he willingly drowned into.

He knew the curves and nicks of your body.

You trusted him,let him be near you and patch you up when needed. He knows your loathing regarding it,knows the borderline ambiguity and acceptance you have towards loving yourself.

He knows how you confine yourself in the mere image of a fighter.

He knows it well because he does it too. Still he thinks that you manage to be kinder than he could ever be.

You. He keeps falling for you. Deeper and deeper in an infinite pit of ecstasy that most would call love.

You're all on his mind lately. Still he doesn't know what to do.

He knew your actions.

He knew how you fight, how you patch him up,how you show your affection in silent gestures. Ways you cradle the kid and play little games with him but also scold him when it’s needed. The way his chest tightens with that one particular feeling, seeing the two of you like that.

The three of you are safe,laughing just enjoying each other’s presence and looking like a perfect family,an aliit.

Everytime he associates the word with you two he feels a wave of calmness crash over him.

But he’d be lying if it also didn’t make him want to be disintegrated by his own pulse rifle. It was too much how you constantly took care of the two of them.

How you silently admire him when you think he's looking at the stars. When in reality he's looking at you.

He’s always looking at you, looking out for you two.

But do you feel it too? He doesn't have the courage to ask.

He never did. He'd die a thousand different deaths as a coward than be left alone without you beside him.

Your soul, the purest most perfect thing to him deserves someone better. That is what he constantly told himself.

He never intended to be vulnerable with a stranger yet there you were and here he was. But only you weren't a stranger,not anymore.

If he hadn't known any better he would go as far as calling you his soulmate. Silly it may seem.

A big,bad Mandalorian bounty hunter believing in soulmates, but it was the truth.

You're the one holding his heart. But still he doesn't know what to do.

But then it changed, years of travelling together and months on the run raising the little green bean whom you both love and protect with your entirety. Maybe this was where it all ended.

He has been in bad situations before, true. But death was something he never thought he'd have to possibly greet in front of you.

He first noticed your eyes, all the other emotions were set aside as they made room for fear and hopelessness of losing him. Your pretty lips that he always craved to kiss were trembling as you held him close to you.

One hand holding his as tightly as possible while the other cradled under his neck.

He knew he should've told you, he wanted to, desperately. But surely, he couldn't do it now...right? You didn't deserve a last moment declaration of love but lose said lover and live in vain for the rest of your life.

But the maker played him again. Surprise!surprise! He didn’t die.

After the chaos and dangers were all done, the three of you left Nevarro, and the crest jumped into hyperspace he started to prepare himself.

You barely spoke to him as you were down in the hull with the kid.

After you tucked in the kid in the sleeping compartment and came to the cockpit to sit down he started preparing.

He didn't know how much time had passed but he was still silent and...well he scoffed at himself, still ‘’preparing’’.

But suddenly you got up from your seat, fumbling a little, clearly trying to say something.

"I need to talk to you" his entire body froze.

Whatever it was, it scared him. He felt nauseous all of a sudden.

"...about today".

Oh, his anxiety got the best of him. He was always the rusher and in the moment of weakness he couldn't control himself.

"Mando I think you shou-"

"I'm in love with you" he felt his voice slightly crack.

You blinked once,twice, mouth slightly agape. Tears started pooling in your eyes…

Shit shit shit shit it wasn't supposed to happen like this!!!

You were probably telling him how you'd much rather be without him and be safe far away from him and he fucked it all up.

Again he was gonna ruin something because he had no self restraint.

He was confused when you lurched your body to his chest, hugged him tightly and started sobbing.

Was this normal? When a person wants to leave you they don't do thi-

He heard your shaky voice let out a breath and then a

"I love you too"

Huh?

Oh-

OH!

He could faint right now. He could die and be alive again. If someone told him to befriend a jedi right now he would.

It took him a while to process your words,probably because of that brain injury IG informed him about, he thought to himself.

He was irrevocably happy.

Just...happy...and sated, but he also felt like someone ran over him with a mudhorn.

You loved him. You loved him.

You loved him back.

You-

He looks down at you. Sleeping silently curled up against him, holding him close.

This has been like that ever since.

Ever since you both declared that all those touches were indeed electrocuting,that all those late night heart-to-hearts weren't just conversations to pass the time,how he longed to take your hands in his.

Or how you wanted to take off his kriffing helmet so that you could see his eyes and what they hid, or kiss his lips yet you resisted.

It’s been a while, he thinks.

Since you settled down for your happy ending...or was it a beginning? He likes to think it's a little bit of both.

It was something he'd never thought he'd have. Since you learnt that the kid’s people were gone. Since the kid truly became your own in every sense.

But frankly if he was being honest Din didn’t ever want to give him away and neither did you. Your son,your Ad’ika. You now had the privilege to call him that with the permission from The Armorer.

Since your Riduurok.

Since he was allowed to take off his helmet and finally, you finally got to let your emotions run free.

To finally see his face and hold him close. To feel his lips and his warmth.

The memory of your tears of unsung victory and joy still elevates his heartbeat.

Since you had made love and you laughed at his messed up curls in the morning after.

"Thanks for letting me in" you kissed his knuckles and he sighed contently.

"You did too" you furrowed your brows "I-"

"Literally" he winked, "oh? waiT YOU- EWW!!!" he was laughing hard as he dodged the pillow you threw at him.

"And to think! Your'e a responsible father!"

"Make a pervy joke again and I'll murder you" you grumbled. You kept laughing in each other's arms as he held you close

He still chuckles at the memory.

Now baby didn’t mind having a stable life with his buirs either.

You sighed in your sleep. The morning lights were seeping in through the slightly opened windows.

Sunbeams slowly making their ways into the room and enveloping your bodies.

Your eyes crinkled in your sleep and you mumbled something and cuddling closer to him, if that were possible.

The kid will be up soon too and the thought alone makes him smile.

Yet another day with the two of you.

It was a free day for both of you and between your magnificent existence and snorting at Ad’ika running around,babbling and being the cutest menace. He knew he’d survive.

He looks down at you again and he's reminded of all the things that he loves about you.

Now including how much you also love him. He could feel your heart beat,it is the best genre of music to him.

He felt the warmth again, not from the sunlight but from his infinite loop of affection for you.

“Ner Ali’it” he called you.

He'll bask in this for as long as you'd allow him and gladly, you promised to allow him forever.

He may be the best bounty hunter in the parsec but he never tried to be the best lover.

He simply couldn't!

For that title already had an owner,

You.

----------------

TAGS: @dindjarindiaries

@spacegayofficial

@lady-of-nightmares-and-heartache

@dindjarinsleftvambrace

@mitchi-c

@the-real-xhorse

@hdlynn

@deafmandalorian

@cheesecake-madness

@duchessnibenhu-ofpyromania

@oloreaa

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granolabird · 3 years

Text

The Weight of Reality

Post 2x08. Sorry guys, there isn’t really a way to fluff this one out. It’s gotta be angsty. Beth finds out about Rick being put in jail, and immidiately calls him. Needless to say, he’s not doing well. Written while listening to Giants by Imagine Dragons on loop bc that’s such a Rick-centric song.

Warings: One single F bomb. And a lot of sad teenagers. That is all.

Tags: @hournites @bethchapelsbonnet

If you’d like to be added to my weekly Hournite fic taglist feel free to ask :)

Beth is sitting at her desk doing research when she gets the call. It’s ten at night, and fireworks still light the sky outside her house. She’s always hated the fourth of July. Too much noise and partying. Beth was a fan of neither of those things. This fourth of July felt different though. It felt too quiet, what with all the Eclipso business. She was almost thankful for the bright colourful bursts of light outside her window, reassuring she was still in the real world. She was still here. Eclipso couldn’t get to her as long as she had the goggles on.

Her first instinct after the whole Eclipso business had been to phone Rick. He hadn’t responded, which was nothing out of the ordinary. She chalked it up to the bad service at his farm, as that was his usual excuse. When Beth called Courtney and she didn’t respond was when Beth began to worry. Courtney spent all her free time on her phone. She always answered. She was decidedly not answering. Then Beth tried Pat, who she only really called during emergencies, to the same result. She left them all messages of varying concern, telling them about how she really needed to talk, and she had more information on Eclipso. Perhaps the Whitmore-Dugan family were out having a fourth of July celebration. That made sense. That was the option Beth went with.

So that’s how Beth got here. Googling her life away, looking at shady PDF documents on possible origins of Eclipso, and on the original JSA. She didn’t have much but it was something to keep her brain occupied. She’s skimming an article about The Flash and everything that’s known about him when her phone rings.

It’s Pat.

She almost takes her goggles off before picking it up instinctively, but she corrects herself and leaves them on as she answers the phone. There's a moment of silence on the other side of the line before Pat speaks.

“Beth?”

“Pat! Thank goodness, I’ve been trying to get ahold of you-”

“Beth, I need to tell you something.” There’s a serious tone to his voice. It reminds Beth of the time the hospital called to tell her family that her grandfather was deathly ill. It’s a tone of voice laced with pity, and she hates it. After everything she’s dealt with tonight pity is the last thing she feels like dealing with.

“What’s wrong?”

She keeps her thoughts to herself, instead focusing on figuring out what Pat has to say. There’s more silence on the other end of the line. She can hear what sounds like Courtney crying in the background. She hears Pat take a steadying breath.

“Pat? What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“It’s Rick.”

Beth’s entire body drops. She feels it. She feels herself crumple. The feeling of dread she thought she’d destroyed when she fought off Eclipso returns instantly, making her feel sick. Rick.

Something’s happened to Rick.

“Is he…”

“He’s okay, Beth. But he’s in Jail.”

“What?”

“Eclipso got to him. Made him think Matt was Grundy. Rick attacked him, and almost killed him. The police took Rick in. Court and I are at the station now, we’re trying to get it figured out.”

“No.” She can barely hear herself speak.

“Beth I’m so sorry”

“What about the hourglass? Can’t he use that to break out of jail or something?” Beth is scrambling for an answer, a way to help Rick.

“You know he wouldn’t do that Beth, even if he could.”

“If he could?”

“He smashed the Hourglass.”

Beth doesn’t know when she started crying, hot tears flowing down her face. She finally got somewhere with her parents and now this. Now this.

“Beth? Are you okay?”

“Sorry. I’m sorry Pat I just… I need a minute to process.”

“It’s okay Beth. I can call you back later if you want. Then we can talk about what you wanted to tell us?”

Beth wants to say no, that she has to tell them about Eclipso and her immunity to him with the goggles right now but she can’t. She physically cannot. Every time she opens her mouth it feels like fire is creeping up from her lungs. She can barely breathe.

“Yeah.”

Is all she can force out.

She’s shaking as Pat hangs up, staring at her cracked phone screen. The photo of her and the rest of her friends smiling split by the nasty lightning-bolt shatters on the glass screen. Broken. She looks at Rick in the photo, his arm slung around her leisurely as he laughs at a joke Mike said before taking the picture. She wants nothing more than to be back with him at that moment. Things seemed so much easier then.

“I’m sorry Rick. I’m so sorry. I should’ve been there for you.” She murmurs, pressing her forehead to the top of her phone screen.

The phone, of course, provides no response.

She stares at the screen a while longer before she gets an idea, frantically searching up the number of the police station. She’s not sure it’ll work. She’s not well versed in the etiquette of phoning the police station to talk to a newly-arrested teen but it won’t hurt to try, right?

She hesitates for a moment, her finger hovering over the phone number. She takes a deep breath before she presses it, and then hits the call button.

Ringing

And then

“Blue Valley Police Department, how can I help you?” A deep male voice answers the phone.

“Hi! Sorry, I don’t know if this is the right number to call, or what I’m supposed to be doing here really.” She’s speaking quickly, words blending together in her panic. She takes another deep breath and then continues.

“You have someone I know in detainment? A Rick Tyler? Or maybe he’s under Rick Harris, but that’s not really his name.” She cringes at that statement, but the officer, whoever they are, should call Rick by his real name. He deserves at least that.

“Right. So why exactly are you calling?”

“Oh! Sorry, I’d like to talk to him if that’s possible? I know he’s just gotten there but I’m.. Well I’m his closest friend. I just really need to talk to him.”

“Listen kid, we already have people here trying to figure out what to do with him-”

“Pat and Courtney. They know me, they’d want me to talk to him too. Please. I really need to talk to him. Even if it’s only for a little while. Please.”

A deep sigh on the other end of the line.

“You’re lucky I have a soft spot for young romance. He’s in a detention cell right now. I’ll see what I can do.”

Beth’s mind catches on to the words young romance. She wants to correct the officer and tell her there is no romance, but she doesn’t. Because that would be a lie. There was something. A spark. One that may never turn into anything if Rick gets sent off to a juvenile detention centre somewhere halfway across the country.

“Thank you so much.” Beth breathes, realizing she hadn’t said anything in response.

The officer only grunts, and then she hears the sound of the phone being placed on the table, and footsteps walking away.

It seems like hours before she hears more footsteps, hurried, almost panicked. She hears a vague

“You have to be quick. I really shouldn’t be doing this.”

No response, only a swoosh of air as the phone is lifted up and then

“Beth?” Rick’s voice is shaking.

Beth has never heard him so genuinely scared. He sounds terrified, and so deeply sad. He sounds broken.

“Rick. Rick, I’m here, what happened?”

“Beth.” He repeats her name, and then she hears him sob.

It’s a guttural noise as he gasps for air, and Beth wishes she could reach through the line to hug him. She wants to be there with him more than anything.

“Rick, it'll be okay.”

“It won’t. I’ve fucked it all up Beth. We can’t fix this one.” He sounds so defeated.

“We can try. I’m not going to stop trying. This isn’t your fault. We’re going to get you out of this.” “This is my fault. This is entirely my fault. It was bound to happen one day, and now it did. Even Matt knew it, I was destined for the cells. That’s my future.” He’s not even listening to what she’s saying, just rambling to himself at this point.

“Rick-”

“You deserve better than me Beth. You, and the whole team. I’ve been nothing but a dead weight. You’ll be better off without me.”

“RICK.” Beth half-shouts into her phone, tears still burning molten streams down her cheeks.

She hears Rick inhale sharply on the other end of the line. He’s surprised. Good, at least that’ll get him out of his own mind.

“I’m not leaving you and that’s final. Nobody is. You may not think it, but we care about you. A lot. We’re going to get you out of this.”

Another sob on Rick’s end, and she can hear his heavy breathing as he tries, and fails, to regain his composure.

“I’m sorry. Beth, oh my god I'm so sorry.” She wishes Rick didn’t sound so terrified.

She wishes there was some way she could reverse time and be there to help him. To make everything better.

“It’s not your fault. It’s not. Eclipso made you do it. Please, please don’t blame yourself. Please don’t.” She’s pleading, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

“I… Beth I…” He’s at a loss for words.

She hears the deep voice of the Officer in the background. Shuffling. “I’ve gotta go Beth.” His voice is strained. “Ok. I’ll see you as soon as I can.” Beth offers, hoping it’ll provide him some reassurance.

“Right.”

A deep breath on his end, and then more shuffling and voices. “Beth I.. I lo… I…” He’s really trying to say something, his words choked as he struggles to spit them out.

Before he can finish his sentence there’s more footsteps and the phone clatters down. A few more seconds of shouts and shuffling before the line cuts out, and Beth is left alone again.

She’s almost certain she knows what he was going to say in that last sentence but she can’t bring herself to think too much about it. It’ll be something to talk about once they get Rick out. They have to get him out. With a sigh Beth returns to staring at her shattered phone screen, still crying. She stares at Rick’s smiling face, and tries to smile back at him. She just wants to be with him. She just wants it all to be okay. She’ll just have to keep telling herself it’ll all be okay. Then, maybe one day it will be.

It has to be.

#This hurt me to write #But it is what it is #Stargirl #Stargirl Spoilers #Hournite #Beth Chapel #Rick Tyler #beth x rick #hourman #dr. mid nite #pat dugan #Angst #Just a lot of angst

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amphxtrite · 3 years

Text

harry potter x fem!reader

warnings: ⚠️tw⚠️ suicide, substance abuse, blood, suicidal thoughts, alcohol, depression, anxiety, breakdowns, kissing, overall pure angst with a fluffy ending.

currently unedited please excuse grammatical mistakes

summary: A summer changes the girl harry potter fell in love with, leaving her with more pain than she’d ever admit.

a/n: there are many things in here that may be triggering, please consider the warnings before reading.

word count: 6k (writing this really helped get my feelings out)

taglist: @oldschoolkiddo

please message me to be added to my taglist

enjoy <3

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Rushing down the Hogwarts halls, bags slung over your shoulder and sun shining through the windows, you scour the crowds of students leaving Hogwarts for summer vacation, trying to pick a familiar brunette with green eyes.

Rounding the corner, you spot three gryffindors chatting by a stone pillar and run towards them, crashing into one of the boy’s backs.

“Guess who?” You giggle, feeling Harry’s chest vibrate as he chuckles.

“Hm, I don’t know, is it Hagrid?” He teases, running his chin as Hermione grins. “Nope.” You laugh, popping the ‘p’

“Is it Dumbledore?” Harry tries again, placing his hand over yours and stroking his thumb over your fingers. “Afraid not lightning.”

“Well then, perhaps is it y/n?” Harry turns, wrapping you in his arms as you laugh and hug him back.

“Are you guys ready for summer?” You ask, glancing around at Hermione and Ron before glancing back at Harry.

They all bore similar expressions, small smiles with a ‘maybe’ face. You roll your eyes.

“Don’t tell me you’re off to save the world over summer too.” You sigh, releasing yourself from Harry’s arms and walking to Ron to give him a hug.

“We won’t get in too much trouble.” Ron chuckles, patting you on the back and letting you walk over to Hermione.

“We just never know at this point.” She shrugs, squeezing you tightly.

“Well I’ll meet you guys on the train!” You smile.

The ride back to your platform was as it always was, the trees whipped by and swayed. The sky was lined with puffy white clouds. The snack trolley passed and you bought yourself a chocolate frog and some ‘every flavour’ beans to share with your mom when you got home, a tradition as they were her favourite, and because she needed a little happiness with you off at school and your father gone.

Sitting back and sighing. The golden trio finally arrived at your cabin and told you about their summer plans. Hermione was travelling, Ron was staying home and Harry was staying with the Dursley’s until he could ‘find a reason to escape to the Weasley’s’ as he put it.

The train arrives at your stop and you grab your bags to leave.

“Write to me if you can, all of you, and I’ll see you next year.” You smile, walking back over to Harry and planting a quick kiss to his cheek, ruffling Ron’s hair and kissing Hermione’s forehead.

“Bye y/n!” Ron and Hermione chime.

“Bye thunder!” Harry calls as you turn again and wave. “Bye lightning, bye guys!” You smile, rushing off to the train.

“So you finally told her?” Ron chuckles, patting Harry on the back.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asks furrowing his eyebrows.

“We know you like her mate, and she just kissed you on the cheek!” Ron continues.

“W-Well maybe I do fancy her, but she gave Mione a kiss too!” Harry stammers, his face going as red as his uniform.

“That was platonic Harry, we can tell she likes you, lightning.” Hermione teases using your nickname for him.

“Listen, I don’t want to jump to conclusions and creep y/n out. She’s an amazing friend and I’d like it to stay that way.” Harry smiles, looking off into the distance to see you still walking away.

“Even if she does like you back?” Ron questions.

“Well you don’t know if she does.” Harry sighs, rolling his eyes.

Your eyes scan the station for your mother, swiveling your head back and forth to find her but only seeing other families being reunited with their children.

Pursing your lips you sigh and wait for a moment. Hoping and praying that this year would be different, and your mother would come running to you with open arms. Seconds fade to minutes, and soon the station is almost empty as excited parents rush home to hear about Hogwarts adventures.

You pull your luggage behind you as you walk to the front of the station and hail a muggle cab, leaning your head against the cool window as the pink skies shine above you, the driver makes no move for conversation, so your drive is silent, and when you finally reach your old house, you hand the man driving the rest of your muggle allowance and nod him goodbye.

Your house was looking as quiet and calm as you had left it.

The flowers you had planted last summer had wilted, the porch sat empty and the stairs still creaked as you approached the door. Home.

You smile as you turn your key in the lock and push open the door, setting your bags on the floor as you set out, candy in hand in search of your mother. The kitchen sat empty with only the soft hum of the refrigerator suggesting someone still lived here. The living room was empty, the old leather couch seemed to be collecting dust and the tv looked like an ancient artifact with the cobwebs strung on the sides. As you ascend the stairs to the second floor, you notice the blinds to every window suspiciously closed. Odd, your mother usually enjoyed watching the sunset.

The floorboards beneath you give high pitched creaks as you walk across the hallways, something you had always despised, especially as a child trying to sneak sweets in the early hours.

Pushing open your mothers bedroom, your eyebrows furrow as her bed laid neatly made, with not a thing out of place. The usual mess of pill bottles and plastic bottles had been cleaned, the pile of clothes had disappeared and she was still nowhere to be found. A sense of dread bubbles in the pit of your stomach as you push on, checking her closet and even your own room for your mom, but nothing.

You turn around with a plan to head to town and see if she was visiting the pharmacy for her pills again, or maybe the grocery store, heck, maybe she had stopped at the corner store for cigarettes again. You turn to shrug on a jacket and leave, but as you reach for the front door knob again, your head snaps up and your blood runs cold.

“No, no, no. Please no.” You repeat to yourself, running up the stairs with tears in your eyes and you approach the one room you had yet to check. The one place your head told you she was, but your heart refused to believe. There was no way it could be true. She’d be opening the door right now, the sound of keys clattering on the table in the kitchen would alert you she was there. She’d say, “I’m sorry I couldn’t pick you up, work was awful today.” And she’d proceed to pull out her groceries so you could prepare your favourite meal together, after dinner you would sit on the couch and you’d tell her all about your school girl crush on Harry Potter and she’d tease you as she popped a jelly bean into her mouth and give you the best motherly advice you could ask for. You pause at the closed door and pause, waiting for the door to open, waiting for the sound of footsteps, even the sound of breathing, anything.

You’re met with silence, and in the exact two hundred and sixteen seconds you stood outside the bathroom door, tears began to cloud your vision as you finally opened the door, counting another ten seconds before opening your eyes.

The first thing you saw was your mother, eyes closed and face unusually pale as she lay in the bathtub, and for a moment, you almost convinced yourself she had fallen asleep.

That is until your eyes trailed down her body, and where the water turned red. You drop the jellybeans and everything goes blurry.

“No…” You whimper incredulously, not realizing you had fallen to your knees until the pain in your legs registered and your eyes flooded. Her skin was littered with scars, ones she obtained from her job, harmless ones that healed with time. Beside them were what you cried for. Large, angry gashes that covered her wrists and stole the life from her.

Your face contorts into a hateful cry as you scream, pain flooding your entire being as the metallic sting of blood floods your nose and you gag.

Words seem to blur together, a mixture of ‘why’ and ‘come back, please.’ Seemed to be the only ones that came out coherently as you collapse and slam your fists repeatedly against the floor.

“Mommy, why did you do this? Why did you leave me?” You sob softly, hesitantly touching her face, ice cold to the touch, a quick check of her pulse showed she was gone, but you could tell from the colour still draining from her face that this was recent. Another choked sob escapes your lips as you turn away from her and spot something sitting on the bathroom sink. A letter.

You scramble to grab it and tear it open.

Y/n, if you’re reading this, you’ve gotten home safely and seen me by now. Please know this isn’t your fault love, I just couldn’t bear this anymore. You know that ever since your father left I’ve struggled, you were the only reason I still wanted to stay alive baby, but it’s too much. Everyday I wake up and I have no reason to stay. I was fired not too long ago, lost all my friends to my absence, and lost everything.

Please forgive me. I love you so much, angel, and I’m so so proud of you, I’m resting now baby. I’m finally free.

The paper starts to crinkle as your hands tighten to fists, your tears spill like rivers down your face and your breathing grows rapid as your head falls into your hands.

“P-Please don’t go… You’re all I have, I-I can’t lose you.” You sob, pushing her hair back against her forehead in the soothing manner she had always done for you.

“Please, please, please. I can’t lose you mom… I-I still haven’t told you about this boy at school, t-the test I aced in potions even though professor Snape hates me, all the house points I got, mom there's still so much I have to tell you…” You sniffle, pressing a kiss to her head as you sit back on your heels and push the tears from your eyes to no avail.

“I got your-your every flavoured beans mom, I was hoping we could share them as I told you, maybe I would get an earwax one and you would laugh.” You stutter as the tears flood your eyes again. “I miss your laugh so much mom, please, can I hear it one more time.” You beg, refusing to move from your spot on the floor next to your mother, holding her head in your arms as you begged and prayed for her to come back, going as far as to try and perform magic to heal her wounds and bring her back.

But even magic couldn’t bring her back, and she’d want more for you than to be expelled for uselessly trying to save her.

Eventually the metallic scent became more than you could bear, you pushed yourself away, swallowing your sobs and closing the door behind you. You had no clue what you were going to do with her, but that would be a problem you’d face another day. Your breathing began to race, your heart pounded a million miles a second and the overwhelming feeling of being trapped settled around you, squeezing you into a box you could not escape from, pushing from all sides until you were clawing at yourself to escape your imagined prison.

It was too much. You run down the hallway to your mother’s room and collapse in front of her cabinet, trembling as you tug open the bottom drawer and grab a small cylindrical container with her name on it.

You knew this was a terrible idea, these were strong muggle painkillers meant to help a grown adult, not a teen.

But the looming dread was too much to ignore, too much to bear, too much to even think about. Your mother’s lifeless body flashed through your head, painfully embedding itself into every inch of your memory until it burned.

You pour an unknown amount into your hand and throw them into your mouth, swallowing them dry and collapsing onto the floor in a fit of anger at your actions and pain. Pain so blinding it swallowed your rage, filling your entire being with a convulsing sadness, and as the meds began to kick in, an artificial peace.

New sunlight shines through the closed blinds onto your closed eyes and you finally stir, sitting upright holding your head in your hands, clueless for a moment what you were doing on the floor. Scanning the room, the burning memory hits you like a punch to the face and you freeze, resisting the urge to empty whatever sat in your stomach onto the floor.

“What am i going to do?” You murmur to yourself, glancing around helplessly for something, someone to hold on too, but alas, you sit alone, clutching a pill bottle in your hands.

You eventually snapped to your senses, called a muggle ambulance to help you get your mother out of the tub and before you knew it, you were standing in a flowerless field as two workers lowered your mother into the ground. They offered you condolences and convincing frowns, but to them this was just another job. One more person laid to rest, no care to know what tragic story was buried in the heart of the one person standing at the funeral.

They left without a word you stood at the headstone, engraving the image into your mind.

‘m/n l/n, finally at peace.’

You convinced yourself reading those carved words would have your feelings set in stone. She was at peace now, finally free from her suffering. But it wasn’t that simple, how could it be?

The last family you had ever known was gone, ripped from your arms and held so far above you, there was no possible way you could reach her.

You trudged back home with a permanent feeling of dread looming over you, again your heart begged to have the pain lifted, even for a moment, just to feel alright. And there was only one way you could think of.

“This always helped take the edge off her…” You murmur, digging through your mother’s drawer again to find an untouched box of cigarettes sitting at the bottom.

“This will help…” You convince yourself, taking the box and standing again, slowly trudging out the front door and sitting on the front porch.

“Everything’s gonna be okay.” You murmur lifting a cigarette to your lips and lighting it like you’d seen your mother do many times before.

Inhaling deeply, you barely flinch as the smooth taste of smoke coats your throat. You exhale as you look up into the sky and sigh, it was going to be a long summer.

It almost became an immediate response for stress to pull a cigarette from your pocket and stick it in your mouth, you didn’t particularly enjoy it, but in a twisted way, the smell reminded you of your mother, and you clutched onto anything that reminded you of her.

When you didn’t have cigarettes you turned to alcohol, your mother hadn’t been much of a drinker, but gifts of different drinks were common when her friends came over were common, and they sat untouched in a cabinet in the basement.

The taste of many of them were bitter, but if you drank enough the taste simply didn’t matter and the buzz took over.

Letters from your friends slowly piled on your window as owls came and went as you threw back fire whiskey and stared into space talking to yourself and shooing away the owls who stared at you strangely before flapping away.

When you weren’t at home you went into the small town nearby and bought anything advertised to take the pain away, no one seemed to pay you any mind, many seemed to be going through it as well, to caught up in their own realities to give a shit about a girl buying sleep medication and painkillers, no matter how strong.

You dove deeper into your pain, taking something every night to lull away the nightmares and ignore the pain. Drinking and smoking in the day to cover the tears and help you forget for a couple hours.

Some days were better than others, when you could just sit outside and enjoy the fresh summer air, but others your anxiety caged you up and you did anything to escape.

One late August afternoon a snowy white owl lands beside you on your front porch as you twiddle your thumbs and hum softly.

It drops the letter directly onto your lap and waits staring up at you expectantly as if asking you to open the envelope and read it to them.

“Alright, I get the message.” You yawn, sitting up and ripping the paper off the top of the letter and pulling a piece of parchment into your hand.

You clear your throat and begin, “dear y/n..

I hope you’re doing well, you haven’t responded to any of my letters yet and I’ve been very worried, Ron and Hermione have told me you haven’t been answering them either and we’re all hoping you’re safe. School’s starting up again and I’m looking forward to seeing you, take care.

Harry Potter.”

The owl looks at you again, and you wondered if it actually thought you were going to respond.

“Sorry pal, I’m not writing anything back. Here, for your troubles.” You nod, placing three knuts in front of the bird. The snowy owl looked down at the money oddly before ruffling his feathers and flying away, leaving you alone once again.

“Harry.” You sigh, sipping on a glass of water. You had completely forgotten you had promised to write to your friends over the summer, almost forgotten your life completely as you tried to focus on keeping yourself alive.

“What the fuck am I going to do?” You sigh, setting down your cup and resting your head against your knees.

Summer blew by much faster once you realized how close the first day back really was, but there you were standing in the empty street hailing a cab to travel back to your station.

You pull your sweater closer to you as your leg shakes furiously and your breathing grows rapidly blowing through every possible bad scenario that crosses your mind. The disappointed faces of your old friends, laughter, teasing, each thought clouds your thoughts. A cold sweat breaks out and you can almost feel yourself slipping when a voice pulls you out.

“Um, miss? We’re here.” The cab driver says, glancing back at you worried.

“O-Oh, thank you.” You clear your throat, handing him his payment and stepping out of the car and grabbing your suitcase.

Taking a deep breath you wipe the sweat from your forehead and walk to the magical platform, bracing yourself as always before stepping through the brick border.

Loud and bustling, you quietly walk towards the Hogwarts Express, but instead of walking to your usual compartment where you knew the golden trio would be sitting you strode all the way down to the back of the train and sat in an empty seat.

Glancing around, you make sure the coast is clear before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, instantly feeling a rush of relief as you take a deep breath in and out.

You watched as the trees disappeared behind the window and the sky shone above, but it didn’t feel right. You didn’t get the usual rush of excitement and joy, in fact you almost felt worse the closer you got to Hogwarts. You close the blinds hurriedly and sit back in your seat.

“No I-I’m sure I saw her come this way.” A voice calls out not too far from you.

“Harry, We’ve been down this way three times already!”

Harry.

“Fuck.” You whisper, pulling the hood of your sweater over your head and keeping your eyes trained on the floor.

“Mate we gotta get changed into our uniforms, we’ll see her at the feast.” Ron sighs, probably pulling Harry away as their voices fade away and you’re left alone again.

You curse yourself for hiding. Why were you hiding from the people you loved? What were you so afraid of?

The answer lay plain as day, no matter how hard you tried to ignore it.

You were afraid of them seeing you like this. Broken down, exhausted, and with a cigarette sticking past your lip.

That did remind you, your uniform.

Covering the compartment windows with your jacket, you quickly swap your hoodie for your collared shirt and a tie. Running a brush through your hair you menatlly prepare yourself to re-enter your life, a life that no longer seemed like yours. Stepping off the Hogwarts express, it felt like you were seeing your past life, a flash of familiarity you no longer knew, a warmth you could recognize that was no longer for you.

You recoil softly at the shiver running down your spine, but push forwards, walking along surrounded by the sea of students.

Reaching where the carriages usually were, you look up expecting the usual strangeness of being pulled by an invisible force, but stumble backwards at the sight of a dark, nightmarish horse standing before you.

It’s eyes seemed to narrow, glaring daggers at you that seemed to pierce your very soul. You quickly climb into a carriage with some random students and stare out the windows the entire ride.

Their quiet chatter is drowned out by your thoughts, coming up with a way to avoid the golden trio at all cost seemed to be a top priority, followed by the need to down some firewhisky to get your mind off everything.

You kept repeating to yourself everything would be okay, just make it up the stairs, around the pillars, dodge anyone that seemed to be walking in your direction and hurry up to your dormitory. Collapsing into the bed that was now called yours you sigh and bunch the blankets into your fists and breathe properly for the first time since you left your house. Your roommates had yet to show and you were grateful for the alone time. Your hands finally stopped shaking, your sweat finally stopped and your breathing evened. You finally work up the strength to unzip your suitcase and pull the small container of firewhiskey you had brought out of your bag. You unscrew it and take a small sip, allowing the burning liquid to slowly take your edge off and calm you down. You sat for a moment nursing the bottle against your lips, contemplating whether or not it would be smart to go down to the great hall for the feast. You were starving and needed food, but you couldn’t face anyone in this state. Glancing at your faint reflection on the window you swallow at the unfamiliarity of the person staring back at you. Where had the happy girl you once were gone? And who was the stranger you were looking at? Your summer had been restless and difficult, of course. But had it really been enough to shake you to the point you didn’t recognize yourself?

What a stupid question. You almost laugh to yourself, tilting your head back again and drinking a little more. Drinking was supposed to take your mind off your situation, not have you overthink even more.

After a while of sitting and glaring out the window you finally pick yourself up, tuck away your firewhiskey and straighten your uniform. You make your way down towards the great hall, walking slowly down the halls you used to run through. Staring in boredom at the carvings and paintings on the wall you used to admire with awe. Keeping your mouth shut when you used to laugh down these corridors.

Finally reaching the great hall the sorting ceremony was still in full swing, playing as a distraction while you slipped to your table.

You sit and nod hello to the students surrounding you, giving them empty excuses on why you were late, and half-heartedly listening to their stories.

Your only thought at the moment was to eat and keep your head down, become invisible if you must.

Harry glances around the great hall anxiously looking for your face. He had barely touched his food, hardly clapped at the new students being sorted into their houses, barely talked to Hermione and Ron as they watched Harry worriedly.

Harry had only one thought on his mind, find you. See if you were alright, hug you in his arms and tell you he missed you, ask you about your summer and ask you to Hogsmeade like he was too afraid to last year. He had so much planned, all he was missing was you.

Just as Ron opens his mouth to tell Harry to quit for a moment and just eat, he catches sight of familiar h/c hair. Longer than he remembered, but no doubtebly yours. Standing in a hurry Harry runs off leaving Ron and Hermione confused, glancing over to see where the brunette had run off to.

Your head snaps up as you hear footsteps approach you and just in time you see Harry running towards you. His green eyes were alight in joy. His tousled brown hair was shorter and he looked older, more mature. Your heart drops as you frantically try and hide your face. He couldn’t see you like this, what on earth would he think?

“Y/n, there you are I’ve been looking for you!”

Bloody hell, his voice had gotten deeper too. Still holding that boyish grin that you loved so much.

“Y/n? A-Are you okay?”

Go away. You pleaded in your head, refusing to look up into the green eyes you’d fallen for.

Harry refuses to give up and attempts to reach out and take your hand.

His skin makes contact with yours and you flinch away, finally giving in and removing your hands from your face.

“What do you want?” You snap unintentionally, cringing inwardly at what you had just done.

“I-I just wanted to say hi-- are you alright?-” Harry asks furrowing his eyebrows, was that firewhiskey he smelled on your breath?

“I’m fine, could you please leave me alone?” Your voice is softly this time, but still with a cold edge.

Harry’s eyes blink in confusion, as he glances around and open and closes his mouth like a fish out of water. This was not the reunion he was expecting, heck this didn’t seem like you at all. Regardless, he nods and slowly walks away, looking back every now and again to see you holding your head in your hands and eventually standing and leaving in a huff, were those tears he saw streaming down your eyes?

“Did you find her mate?” Ron asks as Harry takes a seat.

“Yeah-yeah. Listen, something's wrong.” Harry states, explaining the confrontation he had with you. Slowly the two other gryffindors expressions fade to concern as well.

“And you’re sure it was firewhiskey?” Hermione questions, pursing her lips.

“I’m afraid so, I-I don’t know what to do.” Harry sighs defeated.

“Give her some time, perhaps she just had a bad day?” Ron suggests.

“Sounds more like a horrible summer.” Hermione sighs, worried for her friend.

“I’m gonna go look for her, I don’t want her alone at a time like now.” Harry nods, not waiting for his friend’s reactions before running off to find you.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” You curse yourself, unsure where you were running too. You simply follow your feets as you angrily wipe tears from your eyes and cry in the empty hallways. As you run the image of Harry’s shocked face plays over and over again in your head, taunting you, trying to prove to you what kind of person you had become. Your feet lead you down another corridor and before you know it you’re climbing up a flight of stairs and fighting for breath while digging your fingers into your hands to keep yourself from sobbing to loudly. You had let him down. You had let everyone you love down, you let your mother down, you let yourself down. Maybe if you had spent more time at home your mother would have found a reason to stay, if you just didn’t go to the magic school and stayed with her she’d be alive and there to guide you. You miss her so much everyday. You collapse onto the cool ground of what must have been the astronomy tower you glance down at your hands and realize you’ve been squeezing too tight and hot blood is beginning to flow down your palm. You gag as the sight brings you back to the beginning of the summer. The start of your hell. Instinctively you pull a cigarette from your pocket and bring it to your lips, lighting it and before you know what you’re doing, walking to the edge of the tower.

There wasn’t anything left for you here. Your mother was gone, you had successfully avoided your friends and the person you loved had seen you for who you truly were. You were ready, and you couldn’t think of any place you’d rather go then your favourite place at Hogwarts.

The place you’d spent so many nights gazing at the stars. The place you’d realized you had fallen in love, looking into the green eyes of Harry Potter while watching the planets shine above you and the stars twinkle.

Harry, the person you were so excited to tell your mother about. The boy who made you smile and laugh every day you were with him. You would miss him. Miss his smile, his tousled hair you loved to play with, miss his voice.

As you take one final drag from your cigarette, your feet just over the edge, you look up towards the sky. You see the moon shining, the trees swaying in the distance, nature in all it’s peace, calling to you.

A feeling like your mother’s arms wraps around you, and for a moment you can see her, feel her. “I’m coming mom, we’ll be together soon.”

Taking a step forward you look down at the ground, almost smiling softly before looking back up at the sky, where you’d join your mom and--

“Y/n!” A pair of real arms wrap around you and pull you away from the edge. Squeezing you against their chest and sobbing into your hair.

Why were they crying? Why weren’t you with your mother yet…?

“Y/n what are you doing?”

Harry. You realize, and as he raises his head and you come eye to eye, you see his eyes clouding with hot tears behind his glasses. You lift your hand and wipe them.

“Why are you crying?” You ask, dropping your hand again and realizing you had accidentally smeared blood on his face.

“I-I could have lost you! What were you doing so close to the edge?” Harry asks, pleading for answers as he holds you close against him.

“Isn’t it obvious?” You smile as though he had just asked the silliest thing.

“There’s nothing left here for me. My mother’s gone, she killed herself when I got home for summer. My dad left us when I was just a baby. I’ve managed to get Ron and Hermione to stop worrying and you’ll never like me back.” You sigh, looking down at your hands and reaching into your pocket again.

“What? Y/n, I-I’m so sorry.” Harry murmurs, placing his forehead against yours as you raise a cigarette to your lips.

“S’ alright.”

Harry’s eyes widen and he slaps the cigarette from your lips.

“You’re drinking and smoking?” He shouts.

“I’ve got painkillers and sleep medication too, anything that’ll get my mind off things.” You shrug, struggling in Harry’s arms as you try and escape.

“Y/n, these things are going to kill you!”

“Good! Maybe I want to die Harry! Maybe I can’t take being alone anymore, and maybe I know these things will kill me so I use them. I want to see her again Harry! I want to not be alone, I want to erase everything I saw, I want to be me again.” You cry, lifting your hands to your face and using your bloody hands to wipe your tears away.

“But I can’t! I still go back to smoking, drinking, using pills to take the pain away and I still. Can’t. Forget!” You continue, bawling into Harry’s shoulder as he holds you.

“I don’t want to do this anymore. I can’t do this anymore.” You shriek, trying again to escape Harry’s grip, but he refuses to let go.

“Darling look at me.”

You don’t stop.

“Please Y/n, just look at me.” Hary pleads again.

When you don’t stop this time, he finally gives in and leans towards you. Ignoring the blood, tears and taste of smoke, to press his lips to yours.

You freeze and Harry keeps himself there. Waiting for your breathing to even out and your heartbeat to stop racing.

Your eyes close and you pause as Harry finally pulls away and takes your face into his hands.

“Y/n, you mother wouldn’t have wanted her daughter to go like this. She would’ve wanted you to be happy and live the life she never had. Darling, from the way you’d always talk about her I know she loves you very much, she doesn’t want you to die.” Harry murmurs pressing a kiss to your eyes and nose.

“Ron and Hermione were worried about you y/n, they just respect your privacy and didn’t want to intrude.” He continues drying you tears with his thumb and peppering kisses down your cheeks.

“They love and care for you so much love. They don’t want you to die.”

Harry pauses for a moment and lifts your lips to his, this time deepening the kiss and moving your lips in sync with his.

“And I… I’m in love with you y/n. I wish I’d had the guts to tell you sooner but I was always too nervous.”

“But look at me now Harry. I’m a mess. I-I’m not the same person.” You murmur, trying to avoid his intense gaze.

“Y/n nothing could ever change the fact I love you. You lost your mother, you can’t expect yourself to just be alright.” Harry sighs.

“I still get nightmares about my parents, I see them collapse and have the life drained from them in mere moments.”

“Y/n after everything, you’re my light. You’re what keeps me motivated everyday to keep going. And I’m not going to let my light die if I could have stopped it.”

You pause and choke back a sob as you glance up into Harry’s eyes and once again melt into the soft green.

“I’m here for you darling, always and forever, whenever you need me, whatever you need, we’ll support each other.” Harry smiles.

This time you engage the kiss, grateful as you relish in the pure moment of happiness.

“Thank you Harry.” You smile weakly.

“Now why don’t you tell me about your mom?” Harry suggests, sitting you down and pulling his wand out of his pocket.

As you ramble on about childhood stories, funny jokes and happy memories Harry smiles and listens, healing your hands and holding them in his.

You spend the rest of the evening laying against his shoulder and gazing up at the stars. Harry places kisses against your head, cheeks and nose every now and again, and even though you knew there was still a long road to walk before you could truly say you felt change, you smiled a little and realized.

Nature wasn’t calling you join it, it was reminding you of the beauty you would be missing. The stars weren’t inviting you up, they were shining to show all the wonders you loved.

And your mother wasn’t embracing you from afar to push you forwards, she was edging you back. Back into Harry’s arms.

#harry potter x reader #harry potter angst #harry potter imagine #harry potter #harry potter x you #harry potter x y/n #angst

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malfoysstilinski · 4 years

Text

can’t even | JJ MAYBANK (smut)

MASTERLIST

WORD COUNT: 2.6k

PAIRINGS: JJ Maybank x Reader, Rafe Cameron x Reader (slight)

SUMMARY: based on ‘can’t even’ by the neighbourhood. y/n is dating rafe cameron who is too busy snorting lines and hooking up with other girls to pay attention to her. she thinks sleeping with the enemy might even the playing field.

WARNINGS: smut, cheating, public sex, choking, hair pulling, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, dirty talk

A/N: just to clarify, i do not condone cheating.

You were well aware that Rafe Cameron was not a good person. It had been nearly five months since you had started going out with him, knowing fully well that he had an addiction to thin white lines. Looking back, you thought you were more than stupid to get with Rafe with the mindset of being the one that could change him.

There was no such thing as changing someone.

Rafe would only change when he wanted to change; falling in love with a girl wouldn’t save him. At least, he told you he loved you. When he was sober, he promised you the world-- he set up dates and apologised for whatever fucked up thing he had said the night before, for whatever touron he had kissed or even slept with.

And you were weak-- so you kept accepting his apologies. Today felt different though. Rafe had sobbed to you the day before, promising you a date on the beach and said he would turn up sober and the two of you would be like a normal couple for once.

An hour later and you stood pathetically by yourself at the edge of the sea, kicking about a rather large stone. You sighed, guessing that if you got stood up again, at least you were stood up on a beach.

The evening air felt amazing on your skin; it woke you up and stopped you feeling so depressed. Instead, you felt angry. Angry at Rafe and angry at yourself for putting up with his bullshit. You weren’t his mother or his babysitter or his therapist-- you were supposed to be his girlfriend.

He would rather snort lines than meet you at the beach.

You sat down on the sand, your head in your hands as you shook your head. The dress that you wore had been bought specially for Rafe to admire-- it was his favourite colour and revealed more than you’d usually show, but you knew he would have liked it, so you bought it anyway.

"And what is a girl like you doing on the beach by yourself so late at night?” Those words coming from nearly anybody else by JJ Maybank would have sounded creepy, but you knew it was just him being his usual fuckboy-ish self.

As you glance up from your hands, JJ’s blue eyes widen and he’s taken aback to discover that it was you sat on the beach and not some lonely touron. He glances around, as if looking for Rafe or another Kook.

“It’s just me,” you grumble. “No need to shit your pants.”

JJ scoffs and rolls his eyes. “As if I would ever be scared of Rafe Cameron. Bastard needs a plus one to even do any damage.”

You can’t help the small laugh that escapes your lips at his comment. To be fair, JJ was completely right. Whenever Rafe got into fights, he always played dirty. He could never fight one on one-- he was too scared and dependent. Dependent on his friends... dependent on drugs.

The reminder makes you frown again and you look down at your hands, wondering how the hell you ended up on the beach tonight with JJ Maybank rather than your own boyfriend.

“Rafe stood you up?” JJ assumes, taking a seat beside you on the sand-- much to your surprise.

You and JJ were supposed to be on opposite teams. You were a Kook, he was a Pogue. You were complete opposites, or so you thought.

“Yeah,” you sigh.

“He’s a dick,” JJ insists quietly, shaking his head as he stares out at the ocean and the waves crashing near their feet.

You turn to face him, studying his side profile. JJ is handsome. Like, really, really handsome. He’s got shaggy blond hair he usually hides behind a snapback and a strong jaw, not to mention he’s built like he lives in a gym or something. Your eyes don’t peel away even when he turns to look at you.

“See something you like?” JJ smirks, blue eyes flickering down to yours lips.

For some reason, maybe its the constant emptiness and worthlessness that you feel, that’s all it takes for you to surge forwards and press your lips to his. JJ hadn’t been expecting it, his body nearly falling back a second.

It takes him less than a second to clock what’s happening and JJ kisses back even more eagerly, hand moving from behind him to grab your face. He takes the lead immediately, his tongue swiping at your bottom lip and with it swiping away any dominance you’d had before, leaving you to surrender to him.

Your mouth opens as you gasp, reaching back and holding onto his neck, fingers ruffling up the hair sticking out beneath the red snapback he wore. His large hand starts to move down from your face to your shoulder, smoothing down the soft skin of your arm and finding your waist. He pulls you even closer to him, chests pressing against one another.

“JJ,” you pant, reaching forward and grabbing the bottom of his loose tee, yanking it over his head.

JJ smirks against your lips and grabs your waist with his other hand, pulling you up off of the ground to sit on his lap, one leg either side. You straddle him and can feel the bulge in the shorts that he’s wearing, making you whimper. His hands guide you as you grind against it, watching JJ clench his jaw and hiss out in pleasure.

“Can I?” His slender fingers are tugging at the bottom of your dress that’s risen since you climbed on top of him.

“Obviously,” you whisper, leaning down to attach your mouth to his neck.

JJ groans as you begin to pepper kisses down his skin. You frown a little when you see a couple of bruises wrapped around his neck. You know his father can get angry with him sometimes, but by the looks of it, it’s more than occasionally like you had thought.

You press a gentle kiss above it, feeling JJ still beneath you. You continue to leave sloppy kisses in the spot beneath his ear, feeling him groan against your ear. The breathy sound makes you feel even more aroused and you shiver as your dress is pulled off of you.

“So fucking hot,” JJ mutters, calloused fingers trailing up all the way from your stomach to your breasts.

He bends down and kisses along your soft flesh, sucking purple marks on top of your breasts. You wrap your arms around him and bring him closer, involuntarily grinding your hips harder. JJ lifts his head up and wraps a hand loosely around your neck, bringing you down to kiss him hard on the lips.

You kiss back hard, moving to kneel on your knees, feeling JJ shift underneath you to lay down.

“Sit on my face,” JJ orders.

Suddenly it dawns on you that you’re in a public place. Sure, you’re in your bran and panties and he’s still in his shorts, normal attire for the beach, but it doesn’t explain what you’re about to do. The thought is arousing but also quite terrifying.

JJ seems to realise what you’re thinking. “Nobody comes down here,” JJ says and you trust him, knowing he knows the beach better than you. “Well, nobody but you and I, I guess.”

“Okay,” you breathe and move to obey his order from before.

You’re burning with arousal as you shift your way up his body, eventually coming to kneel above his head. You shift and slip your panties off of your body, chucking them over on top of your dress nearby. JJ grins and practically licks your lips as he grabs your thighs, bringing you down closer to his mouth.

As soon as you feel his tongue on your dripping pussy it’s a relief. You release a long moan, one that would make a porn star jealous, and it only makes JJ want to do better. He eagerly laps up your arousal, his nose nudging your clit and making your eyes roll into the back of your head.

You lean down and grab his hair, tugging slightly. You feel like you’re floating on cloud nine as JJ’s mouth covers your pussy and he sucks, licking up and down your folds before he encloses his lips around your clit. You gasp, whining in pleasure and throwing your head back.

JJ’s fingers dig into the soft flesh of your thighs and attempts to keep you still as he sucks and nibbles at your clit, lapping up your arousal every time you grew wetter and wetter. His mouth was so talented, working you closer and closer to your ending.

JJ shakes his head against you, his nose buried in your clit as his tongue pokes at your entrance. He dives it in and out a few times, groaning at your sweet taste as his hands smooth you up and down. Eventually, his mouth finds your clit again and he does small, fast licks at it.

“JJ, JJ, JJ!” You whine and you’re cumming before you can even process it.

It feels like you’re breaking down on top of him as he licks you through your high, grip on you tightening in an almost bruising way. The coil in your stomach snaps and you pant, nearly crying at the pleasure of it all. When you come down, JJ continues to lick you until you force your shaking legs off of him.

JJ grins at you as you collapse on the sand beside him. His face is glistening with your slick and arousal and he licks his lips and swipes at his face with the back of his and.

“You taste so good, baby,” he murmurs, leaning forward and connecting his lips with yours as if it to give you a taste.

“Need more,” you pant as you pull away and JJ is more than happy to find that you’re already reaching for the buttons of his shorts.

He looks down as you undo the button, hissing and throwing his head back when you purposefully press the zipper into his erection whilst you drag it down. He chuckles to himself and shakes his head in amusement, unable to comprehend how an idiot like Rafe Cameron got so lucky to be with a girl like you.

You’re pulling his shorts and his underwear down next, allowing his cock to spring free. JJ hisses at the evening air on his reddened tip, biting his lip as he watches you grab his cock with your hand, swiping off the precum with your thumb as you slowly jack him up and down.

You look up into his eyes and he can’t help snatching your lips up in his again. Before you can tear your lips from his to repay him for your first orgasm, JJ shakes his head and slowly pushes you back so you’re lying in the sand.

“No, wanna be inside you,”JJ says, kicking his shorts off and leaning so that he was propped in between your legs. “Is that okay?”

You nod, hands moving up to hold his shoulders as he grabs his cock and shifts. He moves so its against your entrance. You bite your lip when you feel him nudge his tip against your clit, teasing you. JJ collects some of your arousal before he lines himself up with your hole and slowly pushes in.

You barely stifle your moan as inch by inch JJ moves inside of you. JJ can’t help it as he throws his head down, resting in the nook of your neck and shoulder until he’s all the way in. You feel so full and stretched whilst he feels like he’s been clamped down on, your tight walls hugging him and nearly making him cum right there and then.

“You’re so big,” you breathe, rolling your head back as he leaves sloppy kisses against your neck, slowly rocking against you so you got used to his side.

JJ smirks. “Bigger than Rafe?”

The sudden reminder of your boyfriend should have made you feel bad, but instead you found yourself quickly nodding in agreement, boosting JJ’s ego and making him thrust into you harder.

“So much bigger,” you pant against him, wanting him to go faster.

It works. JJ seems to bathe in the praise, lifting up higher onto his elbows and thrusting harder and harder, experimenting with the angles he was hitting, waiting to see which one made you moan the loudest.

When he hit the right spot you nearly screeched, your hands clawing at his back. JJ grins and bites down on his lip as he works to thrust his cock in and out of you faster.

“Does Rafe make you moan like this?” JJ groans. “Does Rafe fuck you like this where anybody can see?”

“No,” you shake your head, fighting back the moans as you feel yourself pulse around him.

He grabs you and slides out of you. You whine at the emptiness you feel but grow more excited when JJ flips you around so that you’re on your hands and knees. His hand smoothes down your back before he slaps your ass, leaving a red hand print. He squeezes it as he slides back into your slick heat.

“JJ,” you whimper.

He reaches forward and bunches your hair up as he slams into you, the sounds of your bodies hitting against each other mixing with the crashing of the waves. He tugs you up roughly so your back is pressed against his chest.

“Who makes you moan like this?” JJ demands, hissing against your ear as his other hand reaches around to grab you by the neck. “Who fucks you this good?”

“You do, you do,” you cry, tears leaking down your face as you come closer and closer to your high. “JJ. JJ!”

“Cum for me, darlin’,” JJ grits his teeth as he pounds into you from behind, his hand moving from your hair to rub at your clit harshly.

“Fuck,” you sob as you cum, your walls clenching around him.

The orgasm is easily the best one you’ve ever had-- truly better than anything Rafe’s ever given you. You hear JJ’s breathy moans from behind you and feel his thrusts grow sloppier and less even.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum,” he warns you.

“In me, in me,” you plead. “Cum inside me, JJ.”

Your voice saying that is possibly the hottest thing that JJ’s ever heard and he find himself obeying. He shudders against you, his hips snapping frantically to chase his high before his cock shoots spurts of cum deep inside you, the hot liquid filling you up and covering your walls.

You both moan at the feeling, JJ remaining deep inside you until he has nothing more to give. He pulls out after a moment and the two of you collapse down onto the sand, your head next to his. You can feel your releases spilling from your pussy and dripping down your legs.

“Oh my God,” the sudden realisation of what you just did creeps up on you and you’re scrambling for your underwear and your dress.

JJ watches, disappointed to see you leave so quick. He thought for a split second that maybe you would have laid with him for a bit-- not that he was usually one for aftercare. Normally, he was the first to leave.

“I have to go,” you blurt. “Please don’t mention this to Rafe...”

JJ pulls up his underwear and frowns as he watches you grab your bag and straighten your dress up.

“I’m sorry,” you run your hand through your messed up hair. “This should have never happened.”

But as you rush away, most likely to go find your drug addict of a boyfriend himself, JJ can’t help but disagree. It happened for a reason.

Maybe I will do a part two where Rafe finds out?

PART TWO

#rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron #obx #outer banks #outerbanks #outer banks imagine #outerbanks imagine #obx imagine #jj maybank #jj maybank imagine #jj imagine #jj maybank x reader

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awritingtree · 3 years

Text

The Benefits of Friendship and Love

James Potter x (ex!)reader, Sirius Black x reader, James Potter x Lily Evans

Summary: Being best friend’s with your ex is complex. But adding your best friend dating your ex? Things got a whole lot more complicated. But maybe situations and feelings can change.

Words: ~2.1k

Warnings: angst, toxic relationship, weddings, talks of love

A/N: a day later than I said I would post this but it’s here! You asked for it and I delivered. I hope it is what you expected it to be 🙃 enjoy lovelies xx

Part 2 of The Complications of Friendship and Love

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*Previously*

The pain she’d locked up inside washed over her, her knees buckling beneath her. Sirius moved swiftly, gathering her in his arms before she hit rock bottom. Y/N clutched his shirt in her fists, soaking it as she sobbed against his chest.

“I never thought something could hurt this bad,” her voice broke, tugging Sirius’ heartstrings. Y/N’s heart ached; her chest physically hurting as it constricted her heart. The pain was too much to handle; the wound tearing open and blood smearing the ears of whom the sounds of her anguish fell upon.

Sirius had always known a time like this would come. A time when he’d sit there holding the love of his life in his arms as she sobbed into his chest over his best friend, for his brother. And there was nothing he could possibly do about it.

*Now: one year later*

“I’m sorry.”

Y/N turned to look at him with a smile but her forehead scrunched in confusion.

“What? Why?” she laughed.

“For that,” Sirius gestured with a tilt of his head to the dancing couple.

Y/N turned to look at the dance floor, continuing to play with the rings on Sirius’ fingers like she had been for the past half an hour; moving them to the tip then back to the base of the finger, switching the ring’s position from finger to finger, twirling and tracing the metallic objects. They were seated at the head table where they’d previously been occupying the chairs next to the bride and groom.

Sirius watched Y/N as she looked at the newly-wed couple share one of the first dances of their marriage life, her chin resting on the palm of her hand, captivated by her magnificence. A slight smile played on her lips: she hadn’t been able to keep a straight face the whole day. Her Y/E/C eyes twinkled with happiness despite the circumstance. Her face glowed under the candlelight with delight. Sirius’ eyes scanned her face; from her forehead to her long lashes kissing the apple of her cheeks with every blink, down the slope of her nose, over her rosy cheeks and across her jawline down to her chin. They trailed down her neck, to her bare shoulders exposed by the mauve-coloured maid-of-honour dress that adorned her body.

He could spend all of his life like this, marvelling at her beauty. She was beautiful, enthralling.

Y/N sighed as she turned to look at their hands, her fingers fidgeting with the ring on Sirius’ ring finger, her finger moving lightly from the tip to the base of his finger. Sirius restrained himself from turning his hand around and weaved his fingers in between the spaces of hers. The thought was compelling but he resisted the urge.

It was quiet for a while; the music, glasses clinking and the chitchat from the other guests filling the silence that hung in the air between them.

Y/N sighed before she spoke, “Is it strange for me to say that I don’t think I ever loved him?” Her head lifted up, moving to stare ahead at the man that once supposedly held her heart in the palm of his hands. “I love him. I do. But I think it was only ever as friends. I don’t think I was ever in love with James. It was infatuation. Infatuation. with the idea of loving James; the whole cliche of best friends ending up as lovers.

“And maybe I wanted to prove to myself, more than others, that I could get something Lily couldn’t; I would be someone’s preference over her,” she whispered.

Y/N turned to observe the reaction of the man seated beside her, his reaction to thoughts she was afraid to admit to herself much less speak them out loud in the presence of another. Her fingers stopped their movements. She quickly retracted her hand as she misunderstood the frown that took over Sirius’ face, reacting to the pause of her caressing touch.

“You think I’m crazy,” she stated as if speaking a fact.

Sirius’ stormy eyes widened, his hands rushing to grab onto hers, “No, love. No.” His shoulder-length black hair hit his cheeks as he shook his head. “I just-”

A half-drunk James cut Sirius’ response, “Y/N! Come dance with me!”

Y/N slipped her hand out of Sirius’ as she stood up with a strained smile. She paused and for a moment Sirius thought she wanted to say something. Y/N swiftly sauntered over to the tripping-over-air James, as if he’d imagined the brief hesitation. Sirius watched her back as she giggled at James’ drunk antics and Lily’s attempt to get him to stop, the sweet, liquid honey melody falling upon his ears distinctly even through all the loud music and noise.

He watched her dance in his brother’s arms, her eyes filled with underlying anxiety glancing back to him every few seconds. He watched her and sat quietly in the chair until Lily came over and dragged him to the dance floor. And even as he danced, his arms wrapped around Lily’s waist, his eyes never once strayed from the spellbinding figure moving around the dance floor.

⭑*•̩̩͙⊱••••✩••••̩̩͙⊰•*⭑

It was well past midnight, the festivities died down and the venue emptied out. Y/N and Sirius remained behind, insisting they’d be okay to take care of everything else; payments, wedding gifts, making sure everything was cleaned up - their last duties as best man and maid of honour.

Y/N sat with her legs stretched outside, the lush green grass tickling her bare legs as she leaned back on her arms, gazing at the celestial starry night sky; the stars luminescent and the moon glowing. The sweet smell of the wedding food lingered in the air, blending with the scent of a hot summer night. The humidity of summer seeped into her pores making her feel sticky all over.

Sirius sat beside Y/N; his luscious black hair tied up into a messy bun at the back of his head. His coat and tie had been abandoned sometime during the night, the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up to his elbows. The few unfastened buttons allowed the summer air to blow against the small portion of his unclothed chest, cooling him down after the many hours of dancing with countless people.

Sirius sat, hyper-aware of the brush of Y/N’s shoulder against his, her hair blowing against the back of his neck, her legs bumping into his. Electricity crackled through his arm every time his fingers touched her hand when he rested the bottle of firewhisky in his hands against the ground.

“How did you know?” he spoke quietly, the faint sounds of the hired help cleaning up in the tent in the background.

“Hmm?” Y/N hummed in question, distracted by the sight in front of her. Her brain had gone into relax mode; the warm summer breeze, the slight buzz from the wedding drinks and the presence of the man beside her driving her into a state of total relaxation and comfort.

“How did you know that you didn't love him?”

Y/N sighed closing her eyes, her fingers twirling a blade of grass she’d plucked from the ground.

“It’s odd,” she opened her eyes back to the view of the sky, absentmindedly searching for the different stars and constellations they’d learnt all about in Astronomy during their years at Hogwarts. “It’s like the further I got from him, the more I realized what it was like being with him. How it was always me giving too much: too much time, too much attention, too many promises. Too much love.”

Sirius listened attentively, not inputting any opinions and letting Y/N speak her mind like she so clearly needed to. How did he know that? He couldn’t say, he just knew.

“I realized how every day would end with me getting hurt and crying. Every moment I spent with him; I'd have to beg for him to pay the least bit of attention to me; beg him to go out with me. Wanting him made me feel desperate, desperate for love, desperate for him. Not once did he truly make me feel wanted. I noticed how each day our relationship had gotten toxic; the need to control things and the attention he gave Lily, the insecurity he made me feel. Not once did he truly make me feel wanted.”

Y/N paused, taking a moment to catch her breath. She had never spoken her thoughts out loud, frightened of how the person whose ears they fell upon would come to hate her. But she’d realized that the same fear had driven her to put up walls and innumerable metaphorical miles between her and her friends, the same fear that led to her breaking down in the middle of the corridor because she could no longer bear the burden of loneliness and suffering.

Sirius placed his hand on top of Y/N’s, curling his fingers around it.

‘It’s okay, I’m here. Take your time,’ the gesture spoke.

Y/N turned her head sideways, looking into Sirius’ eyes as she took a deep breath and continued to speak. “Suddenly, days after that day, I realized that I wasn't in love. What I felt for James had never been love. Love was not supposed to hurt that much. Love was not supposed to make me hate myself or want to be someone else. Love wouldn't have faded away the minute I put some distance between us. Love shouldn’t have made me feel like a burden, it shouldn’t have made me feel inadequate in any way.”

Y/N flipped her around, her palm touching Sirius, her fingers inserting themselves between the spaces of his calloused ones.

“Love is strong. Love is holding the person crying, without a word, even when you're dying inside. Love is like the rain; gentle, flooding, downpouring, drenching the world with its presence. Love makes you feel beautiful, love makes each day shine a bit more brighter and ends with you laying in bed late at night, smiling into the dark because your reality is so much better than your dreams, than your fantasies. And you want to bask in it for the rest of your life.

“Love is sacrifice. Love is surrendering yourself to the other person knowing that they will take you as you are, never wanting to change a single thing about you.

“Love is pure. Love is sure. Love is safe. Love is everlasting, like the universe. Love is....”

Y/N fell silent. Her eyes flickered between Sirius’ eyes, the storm behind them ravaging with unsaid questions and undetermined notions, as she gathered the courage to finally speak the truth that had been left unsaid for months.

"Love is you."

Sirius’ breath hitched at the whispered confession. He blinked, almost comically. He was sure his mind was playing tricks on him. Y/N couldn’t have said what he’d heard; it just was not possible. Right…?

“W-what?” he managed to choke out, his eyes blown wide open in shock.

Y/N blushed under his eyes, the flush of her cheeks crimson under the moon and starlight and faint lights from the tent nearby.

Y/N’s Y/E/C eyes focused on Sirius’ chest, darting from tattoo to tattoo, too nervous to meet his eyes.

“I- I…” she stuttered, too shy to speak the words. She was sure of what she felt, it was something she had never experienced before. It filled her body up with a surreal warmth, like a flame burning in the pit of her stomach, something that left her smiling at nothing, in absence of everything. Even in this time of war, she felt everything would be okay as long as she had Sirius standing by her side, holding her hand whether it was as friends or something more. Love, that is what it was; no need for a label or anything, just their friendship would be enough to pull through the darkest of days.

Sirius moved forward, his hand cupping her jaw as he leaned his forehead against hers. His eyes were closed shut, his other hand clutching the grass in a fist.

“I need to hear you say it,” he pleaded fervently, “Please.”

“I love you.”

Sirius surged forward, his lips connecting with Y/N’s. His hand left the grass, a few blades stuck between his fingers. He gripped the back of Y/N’s neck, the rings on his fingers cool against her hot skin, bringing her impossibly closer, the space between their bodies nonexistent. His fingers weaved into her soft hair, his nails scratching her scalp. The hand resting against her jaw tilted her face up for better access, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Sirius moaned at the feeling of Y/N’s hands moving, exploring every inch of his chest, shoulders and back.

Their lips moved feverishly and passionately, pulling back only once the need for air became too great.

Even then, Sirius leaned forward once, twice, thrice, kissing Y/N’s lips like they were the enriched oxygen keeping him alive, breathing life into his lungs and functioning his organs.

“You have no idea how long I have waited to hear those words falling from your mouth,” he said before reconnecting their lips into a kiss once again, soft, gentle and long-lasting unlike the others they’d shared but filled with just as much love.

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