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f1letters · 1 year

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bejeweled | ln4

"and I miss you, but I miss sparkling"

summary: after a triple-header where they couldn't see each other, things got even stranger when her boyfriend seemed totally uninterested in spending time with her. so, she took matters into her own hands

warning: a little bit of angst, but fluff ending, mentions of a long-distance relationship, Lando being an uninterested boyfriend, reader feeling ignored and worthless, reader being petty, mentions of alcohol, swearing, reader trying to make Lando jealous, mentions of McLaren's bad 2022 season and Danny leaving the team (crying 😭), not proofread

pairing: lando norris x reader

word count: 2.7k

note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past.

masterlist

Baby love, I think I've been a little too kind

Didn't notice you walkin' all over my peace of mind

In the shoes I gave you as a present

Puttin' someone first only works when you're in their top five

And by the way, I'm goin' out tonight

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.'

Y/N couldn't keep count of the number of times she had heard this phrase being said during the past two years.

She prayed that people were right. That distance would make their relationship stronger, their time together more special, their appreciation for each other bigger.

She hoped her heart would mend every time he came back home but in all honesty, she just felt... lonely.

From: babe

only a few more days and the torture is over, can't wait to kiss you again gorgeous, miss you 🧡

Y/N read Lando's text over and over again, daydreaming about their reunion after so long apart, as the driver had three races in a row at Spa, Zandvoort and Monza.

It didn't matter how many times Lando called or texted. How many times he expressed how much he missed her. How many times he said how excited he was to see her again.

In the end, it was exhausting spending her days simply waiting for him to be there.

Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

And when I meet the band

They ask, "Do you have a man?"

I could still say, "I don't remember"

Suddenly, the jingling of keys on the other side of the door caught her attention. Y/N turned towards the entrance where she saw the image of her boyfriend appear through the darkness of the night that filled the apartment.

Quickly getting back on her feet, the girl rushed to him, hugging the boy desperate to return to her arms. His body relaxed as soon as it made contact with hers and Lando let him pull her as close to him as possible.

"Fuck," Lando whispered against his girlfriend's forehead, whose tears of relief now streamed freely down her cheeks. "I can't believe I'm finally back home."

"God, I swear it was the worst weeks ever." The girl confessed, although it was common to be apart for a long time since her work did not allow her to follow him most of the time. "I've missed you so much, Lan. So much."

Grabbing her gently by the sides of her neck, the driver looked straight into her bright, tired eyes. "Me too, baby. But now we have two weeks to ourselves."

For a moment everything fell into place. But it was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down again.

Familiarity breeds contempt

Don't put me in the basement

When I want the penthouse of your heart

Diamonds in my eyes

I polish up real, I polish up real nice

After spending the night lying next to the boy she loved, Y/N couldn't control all the excitement she felt inside her chest.

Very early in the morning, the young woman got out of bed, leaving the sleeping man behind, and headed to the kitchen where she went all out to celebrate his first morning back in Monaco.

With the utmost care and love, she cooked just about everything: scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, pancakes, you name it. And as soon as everything was ready, Y/N returned to the room and jumped on top of the British man, now awake on his phone.

"Good morning, sunshine!" The girl said, as she hugged his hips and laid her head on his stomach. "I made the best breakfast ever just for you, baby. So you better be hungry."

Her laughter was quickly interrupted by the boy's surprising coolness towards her. "Good morning, but I think I'll pass. I still feel super tired from the flight, so I'm going to stay in bed a little longer." Lando set his phone back on the bedside table and, running a hand over the top of her head as an act of apology, continued. "I hope you don't mind, love. It's just for today."

It's just for today, he said.

The next day, still under the wave of happiness, Y/N tried her luck again and decided to approach her boyfriend again to make plans, now that he was already feeling more energetic and recharged.

Lando spent the morning jumping around the house, so when Y/N saw him walk back into the room, she dropped to her knees in her seat, turned around and leaned on the back of the couch.

"Lan, what if we went out to dinner at that Thai place we went to last month?" She asked, her head turning slightly as she remembered their meal. "I swear I'm still thinking about that Pad Thai."

Lando continued his way to the kitchen, opening the fridge to get some water. "Hmm, maybe another time. Don't feel like going out."

And with only a few words, he disappeared again into another room of the house.

On day 3, the girl was caught off guard when she saw her boyfriend with a backpack on his back and his hand on the doorknob.

"Hey, where are you going?" She questioned, curious.

"Just going to the gym with Carlos." He replied, eyes on the phone in his other hand.

"I thought you were tired." She blurted out. At that moment, the persistent girl decided to be direct and confront him. "Is there something wrong? You've been so distant lately."

She had barely seen him even though the two of them shared the same house. It was getting embarrassing how much she tried to engage in conversation with him, only to get rejected every single time.

The driver just spat out a string of words, including 'busy with business' and 'training', but nothing soothed the uneasiness she felt in the pit of her stomach.

Baby boy, I think I've been too good of a girl

Did all the extra credit, then got graded on a curve

I think it's time to teach some lessons

I made you my world, have you heard?

I can reclaim the land

And I miss you

But I miss sparklin'

It just didn't make any sense.

What happened to the 'week to ourselves? To all the 'I miss you' and 'I can't wait to see you' he said?

It got to the point where she was even starting to question every time he told her he loved her.

A week passed, and in a last attempt, Y/N walked up to her boyfriend and placed her hands on his shoulders, placing a small kiss on his cheek.

"How about we watch a movie, cuddled a bit on the couch…?" She suggested, whispering close to his ear.

Lando placed a hand over one of his girlfriend's hands, looking back to meet her gaze. "Sorry babe, but I'm going to stream with the guys now. Maybe later."

Maybe another time. Maybe later.

She had been a little too kind and she was done playing nice.

It was time to teach him some lessons.

Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

And when I meet the band

They ask, "Do you have a man?"

I could still say, "I don't remember"

Y/N entered her room and confidently walked to her closet. She knew exactly the garment she was looking for and as soon as she laid eyes on her shiny bejeweled dress, she picked it up.

Leaving the clothes she wore behind on the floor, she changed into the stunning dress and sat in front of her mirror, curling her hair and doing her makeup.

Her eyes ended up dark and smoky, perfectly adorning the determined and vengeful look on her face.

Grabbing her small Prada bag, Y/N walked to the room where Lando was already streaming, catching the driver's attention.

"Hey, I'm already live." He warned her, as he turned to see his girlfriend. Laying his eyes on his girlfriend all dressed up, a nervous shiver ran down his spine. "Where are you going looking all polished up?"

"Don't wait for me for dinner," She answered coldly, even though she knew the people in the comments were going to have a field day with this. "And by the way, I'm going out tonight."

Familiarity breeds contempt

Don't put me in the basement

When I want the penthouse of your heart

Diamonds in my eyes

I polish up real, I polish up real nice

As soon as she walked into the room, she made the whole place stop with the shimmer of her dress under the spotlight.

If Lando wasn't going to give her the love and attention she deserved, she sure as hell was going to give it to herself.

Y/N was finally done with letting her worth be determined by a man, even if he was supposed to be the love of her life.

Sapphire tears on my face

Sadness became my whole sky

But some guy said my aura's moonstone

Just 'cause he was high

Walking towards the bar, the young woman couldn't help noticing the eyes that fell on the fascinating and beautiful image that she was.

At that moment, although she missed him and the good times of their relationship, she was reminded of how much she missed sparkling.

Y/N ordered two tequila shots and drank them without missing a second. She now felt prepared to start the night, leaving her problems behind.

Dancing as she made her way to the middle of the floor, the girl began to sway her hips to the music, between the hot bodies glued together in the room.

Tonight was all about her.

And we're dancin' all night

And you can try to change my mind

But you might have to wait in line

What's a girl gonna do?

A diamond's gotta shine

Back home, Lando couldn't shake the feeling of apprehension and anxiety that gripped him.

As much as he tried to keep his good spirits and attention on his friends, his followers and the game, his mind was elsewhere: her.

His eyes roamed the chat as he interacted with some of his fans until one of them made his heart stop beating for a second.

teamlandofewtrell: have you guys seen Y/N photos clubbing? I smell trouble in paradise lol

The man cleared his throat, trying to maintain his posture. "Guys, I have to go now, but I'll see you very soon!"

Without further explanation, Lando grabbed his coat and the keys to his McLaren and headed towards her.

And as soon as he entered the club, he immediately found her.

The furious boy walked over to her, grabbed her arm and pulled her to a more sheltered corner, only to find her surprised and upset eyes.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" He shouted over the music, unconcerned by prying ears. "First you make me look like an idiot on stream, then I find out you're alone in a club doing who knows what. Are you all right in the head, Y/N?!"

"You're worried now, are you?" The girl laughed sarcastically. "That's fucking rich."

"You have to be fucking kidding me. It has to be." Lando ran his restless hands through his hair nervously. "All because I didn't want to see a movie with you today? That's it?"

"Today, of course. The problem is from today." She continued her ironic tone. "You know what, Lando? It's about time you realized that just because I made you my world doesn't mean I can't claim the land."

Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

And when I meet the band

They ask, "Do you have a man?"

I could still say, "I don't remember"

Lando was shocked by her confrontational words, as it was a side she rarely showed.

"Stop this nonsense, Y/N." Lando snapped, gripping her arm with some force. "Let's go home now, and tomorrow we'll talk when you come to your senses."

Out of nowhere, a man approached the couple. "Hey, is everything okay here? Do you need some help, babe?" He asked her.

Y/N recognized him as the vocalist of the band that was performing when she first arrived at the scene.

"It's okay, thanks." She replied, freeing her arm from her boyfriend's hold and letting her burning eyes lay on Lando's face. "This man was about to leave."

"If you need to come with me, feel free to join, gorgeous." The singer said, looking her up and down. "Do you have a man? 'Cause if you don't, I sure could be yours for tonight."

Even though she was uninterested in the man's suggestive proposition, she couldn't pass up an opportunity to entice the driver. "I don't remember."

"She has a fucking man, now get the fuck off." Lando spoke out aggressively, having no patience left for her foolishness.

Familiarity breeds contempt

Don't put me in the basement

When I want the penthouse of your heart

Diamonds in my eyes

I polish up real, I polish up real nice

"You have the nerve to show up here playing the role of the victim when all you did this whole week was ignore me," Y/N yelled, losing her mind. "Day after day, I made a fool of myself and tried to approach you, to make plans with you, to do the things I know you like to see if you would change your shitty attitude but nothing."

"From the second you arrived, the only thing I got from you was a cold shoulder and indifference. And honestly, I'm fed up, fed up with your behaviour when all I did was wait for you, all alone and miserable, while you fulfilled your dreams."

Lando remained glued to the ground, unable to move as he tried to assimilate all the angry words she spat in his direction.

"So if you have anything else to say to try and ruin my night, you might have to wait in line because I don't have the time to do so right now."

And we're dancin' all night

And you can try to change my mind

But you might have to wait in line

What's a girl gonna do? What's a girl gonna do?

I polish up nice

Eyes to the floor in embarrassment, the driver gently grabbed her hand. "You're right, I'm so sorry, love."

"What?" She blurted out, not believing the sudden change in him.

"You're right, I've been an absolute prick to you lately," The boy looked into her eyes, his gaze filled with regret and sorrow. "Those last three weeks weren't just bad because I was away from you. It was bad news after bad news and I just ended up taking it out on you unfairly."

"Lan, you know you can talk to me about anything." She softened and stroked his hand. "What's wrong?"

"Everything, honestly." He sighed, saddened. "The car is shit most of the time, I can't seem to get out of 7th place ever, Danny is leaving the team next season and, as if it couldn't get any worse, I spent all weekend getting asked about it like I had some power over the matter."

Y/N knew her partner was feeling especially down over losing yet again another teammate he really cared about, so Lando's anguish came as no surprise.

"I'm sorry, Y/N, really." Lando apologized again. "You didn't deserve all of this."

"Baby, I'm here for you. Always. Through thick and thin." Y/N brought her lips to his, letting her hands grip his curly hair as she leaned into his kiss. "Let's have some fun, dance a little, and make up for lost time, what do you think?"

"Lead the way, gorgeous." Lando kissed her again before she led him to the centre of the floor.

Gathered in their bubble of love again, Y/N, who once shone like a jewel, now shone like a true diamond with the light of her life reflecting on her side.

Best believe I'm still bejeweled

When I walk in the room

I can still make the whole place shimmer

taglist: @dan3avocado @starxqt @roseinnej @spiidergirlsworld @ccloaned @hotpigeon22 @dr3lover @lovelytsunoda @primadonnasdream @luxebeautystyle @wallfloweriism @ilivefortheleague @gwynethhberdara @satellitelh @adavenus @audreyscodes @wifeoflucyboynton @th6ccnsp6cyy @classifiedsblog @flyingmushroomss @motylekrozi @claramllera @gabrielamaex @handsupforamiracle @pierre-gasssllyy @lorenaloveslewis

@idkiwantchocolatee @simpforsunwoo @kissatelier @xweirdxsceletton @micksmidnights @miniminescapist @inchidentwithmax @hopelesslyromantics-world @alwaysclassyeagle @indieclarke @capela-miranda @okokoksblog @pulpfixion @sins-only33 @sainzclerc @allisonxf1 @honethatty12

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(taglist continues in the comments)

thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌

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lunamochii · 1 year

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Need you close to me || EPILOGUE

content warning; age up Neteyam!, adult Neteyam!, smut!, overstimulation, f1nger1ng, neteyam being dom. Fluff at the end!

author’s note will be at the end of the story!

read all parts here! check out masterlist

“Now say cheese!”

You said and did a hand peace sign, the camera click and you hurriedly went to check the photo and saw Neteyam is looking at you with a smile on his face

“Neteyam! I told you to look at the camera!”

“But why? I always want to look at you.”

You laugh and gave him a kiss on the cheek, ever since you became one of the people and those events that have happened, you’ve been doing your best to put it all behind you. You still visit Norm and Max even though Norm teases you by calling Max ‘daddy’ what can you do? He was a father figure to you.

“Something on your mind?”

Neteyam ask as he wrap his arm around your waist, he was so happy when his grandmother decided to train you to become the future tsahik. It also help you to forget those awful events.

“It’s just.. it’s been months now after all that. Time flies so fast”

You replied and he hum as a response and pulled you towards him, you guys are on your usual spot just looking up at the stars. You really do find comfort being with him. Although you feel bad that you left him for years, not like you have any choice

“Say ma Neteyam, what did you do during those years that I wasn’t here?”

You ask him and you felt him tense, his grip on you tightened

“It was pure torture. I don’t even have the slightest idea on how you’re doing. Were you eating well? Were you doing good? Is your health recovering? Did you… did you already find someone and decided not to come back..”

You turn to look at him and caress his face, he press his hand over yours and close his eyes

“The moment I saw you.. the day that I have been dreaming. I was so happy that I wanted to take you away but thay bastard just had to pull you away from me. The thought of you having someone already pained me. It killed me seeing you being so close with that man.”

Neteyam look into your eyes and he put his hands on your face as he lean his forehead to yours

“I can’t imagine a world without you by my side, Y/N. You are the love of my life. I love you so much.”

You didn’t even notice that you’re crying already and Neteyam hushes you as he wipe your tears away. Kissing it away as he made you sit on his lap, your hands resting on his chest as you sob

“Hush now my love. We are together now. Nothing can separate us.”

Neteyam kiss the crown of your head as you both decided to stay there and just come back early in the morning.

—

“You look beautiful..”

Kiri was in awe on how pretty you are and you smiled at her, she have helped you to get ready for tonight’s event. Letting your hair flow freely behind you, no braids in sight. She also put a flower on the side of your ear.

You wore a top that is decorated by jewels, wearing the finest silk for your loincloth. It was a gift from Neytiri.

“Thank you Kiri, I just hope he will like it..”

“Oh sister.. he will! Knowing my brother he might just jump at you”

You blush at what she said and Kiri laugh as you both decided to go out from the hut. The walk towards the tree of soul took long, you felt your entire system shutting down any moment due to how nervous you are.

When you were just mere steps away, you saw Neteyam chatting with Lo’ak. They haven’t notice you and Kiri, you can hear them laughing and it was Lo’ak who notice you first and he immediately nudge his brother

Neteyam’s eyes landed on you and his breath hitches. Kiri grin seeing her brother’s reaction and push you towards him

“Now it’s time for us to go! Remember kids, do not be loud!”

“Lo’ak!”

Neteyam shouted and Lo’ak together with Kiri run away, laughing. He let out a sigh and turn to look at you. Your hand rubbing your arm, can’t even form a single sentence. You felt his touch and it made you gasp

“May I?“

He ask and you nodded. He lean down and press a soft kiss, he pulled away and smile at you

“You look amazing. Beautiful, pretty, gorgeous and—“

“I get it! Please… I’m already nervous as fuck!”

Neteyam can’t help but laugh as he hug you, you hug him back and when the both of you let go. He held your hand and guided you deeper. You look at your surroundings and love how everything is so bright, you can see his back properly and even admire the scars that adorned his body. He have shared with you that he got it all from fighting the sky people. The same race where you came from but you quickly brush it off because right now, you are one of the people. You are a child of Eywa now and tonight..

“I see you, Y/N…”

Neteyam held your hand and kiss it.

“I see you, Neteyam”

He smiled and he slowly grab his braid not breaking a eye contacy on you, you breath in and then exhaled as you grab yours. You felt him squeeze your hand, his eyes searching for any discomfort on you

Slowly you two brought together your queue and form a tsaheylu. You gasp as you close your eyes, your ears laying flat, your tail swishing behind you. Feeling the touch of Neteyam on your face made you open your eyes

“Y/N..”

You bit your lip and nodded as he close the gap between you, his hands on your waist as he lick your lip asking for an entrance, you let him in and you moan between the kisses. He guided you both to crouch down as he tap your thigh lightly, wanting you to sit on his lap which you obliged.

His fingers traces shapes on your back as you try to keep up with his rhythm. You pulled away to breathe and Neteyam trail his kisses down to your neck and softly bites on the skin leaving hickeys

“ma Neteyam…”

You moan and he let out a groan as he caress your hips. You can already feel the growing bulge and the urge to rub him is slowly eating you. Sensing your needs he pulled away and grab one of your hand that is on his shoulder

“Do it. Do whatever you want, my love”

You nod and pulled away a bit enough to get rid of his garment and there you saw his aching cock. Pre-cum already oozing out from his tip

Neteyam moan out your name when your hand touch his cock, he let out a hiss when you start to rub him up and down. He remove your top and decided to suck on one your nipples making you cry out. Feeling way too good, your hand moves faster and Neteyam stop sucking on your breast as he bury his face on the crook of your neck

“Fuck! Hmpf! ma Y/N! I’m cumming!”

“Let it all out, ma Teyam..”

Neteyam’s hands balled into fist as he moan loudly and all his cum spurt out, some getting on your chest area. You were breathing heavily as you stare at your hand that is covered by his cum

“Sorry, it felt way too good..”

“Don’t apologize. You did great, love.”

Neteyam hum and kiss you. You pulled away and stood up making your bond with him disconnected, he was about to say something when you remove your loincloth and reveal your wetness, you look at him. Eyes begging.

“Care to help me out?”

“Gladly”

Neteyam grin and put his hand on your thigh as he inhaled your scent, he open his mouth and let his tongue rolled out and lick your clit. It made you flinch as he did it very slow

“Don’t tease…”

“I’m not? Hm, move closer”

He grip your thigh and you did as what he told you to. You’re practically hovering over his mouth as he starts to devour you. You can feel his tongue inside and it made you moan loud. Louder than his. You scream his name as he flick his tongue inside, slapping your thighs making you feel good more.

Your slick slid at the side of his mouth as he pulled away and inserted two fingers, he look up at you and saw you looking at him with lidded eyes. He lick your clit while fingering you and it sent you to cloud9. You played with your breast as you started grinding on his mouth and Neteyam moan at your movement.

“Ohhh cumming! I’m cumming!”

“Cum into my mouth.”

You shut your eyes as he move his fingers faster and his tongue. You let out a cry before squirting and cumming on his mouth. You heard him gulp and slurp as you felt your knees weakened, he let you lay sideways on his lap, spreading your legs he began to finger you again

“Please! I’m too sensitive— fuck!”

“Gotta loosened you, love. Don’t wanna hurt you..”

“Neteyam! Hmmp!”

You squirm and your second release was out of you, he bend down and kiss you on the lips as he insert another finger and your hands grip tight on his. You want to scream but he won’t let you. He wants to fuck the shit out of you. He wants to see you drunk on his cock.

He grab his braid again and reach out to grab yours and form the bond again. You manage to pull away from the kiss and cry out, tears trailing down to your face as you beg him

“No more please! I can’t t-take it anymore!”

“This is just the third time, c’mon, I know you can do it.”

He kiss your tears away and move his fingers faster and harder, your toes curling as yo scream and squirted again on his fingers. He let out a chuckle and pulled away and take his fingers into his mouth and lick it. You watch it happened as you brought your hands on his face, he pulled out his fingers as he kisses you.

You sat up and he help you position yourself to his cock, he kiss both of your nipples before wrapping his arms on your waist, his tail wrapping your thigh as he slowly lowered you down.

The both of you have gone through hell and deserves whatever happens today onward. As the stars shines brightly on the night sky, you two mated before Eywa.

“I love you”

—

BONUS PART

“Neteyaaaammmm!!!”

You scream and the man hurriedly ran towards you, you angrily huff and drop the basket full of fish.

“What happened you are gonna stay close to me, huh?!”

Neteyam can only laugh as he walk towards you and kiss your cheeks before carrying the basket. You rolled your eyes and walk ahead of him. Minutes later you two got back and a child came running to you

“Mama! Uncle Lo’ak said his gonna take me for a ride!”

Your daughter, Nayla, she’s your first born. The fruit of your first time with Neteyam.

“Dear, it’s dangerous. Also, your uncle Lo’ak is busy.”

Just after you said Lo’ak came, carrying a basket full of fruits.

“C’mon Y/N! Say yes! Also, I’m not busy.”

Rolling your eyes you turned to your mate and Neteyam cleared his throat

“Brother, Nayla is still 4 years old. What if she moves too much and something happens?”

“As if I would let that happen! Nayla is my precious niece! Plus, Kiri or Tuk isn’t here to snatch her away from me. So please can I have this moment with her?”

Neteyam look at you and you just let out a sigh, both Lo’ak and Nayla cheered and before they can go, Lo’ak handed you the baskey his mother wants you to have

“Come on, let’s put this things down”

You nodded and followed Neteyam, the both of you got inside and you quickly sat down while softly massaging your back. Neteyam notices you and decided to tidy everything later as he sit down beside you

He rub your growing belly and you can’t help but smile. You two are bless again by Eywa with a second child. You couldn’t ask for more with the help of Norm you guys have also found out that it’s a boy. Imagine how Neteyam was overjoyed.

��So what are we gonna name him?” He ask

“Hmmm I’m thinking Geor—“

Neteyam quickly covered your mouth and you glared at him

“I think it’s a good idea, I will name our child. Again..”

You slap his hand away and cock your eyebrows

“What? I still think Lydia is a good name”

Neteyam mentally facepalm. He remembered when his mother heard what name you want to give your daughter, Neytiri whispered to him that his father also wanted to name him names basing on what sky people knows

“Baby you name your ikran ‘muffin’ “

You was laugh remembering how Neteyam was so shock learning what you named your ikran, though Jake was proud. You clearly remembered Neteyam and Neytiri rolling their eyes

“Fine fine! Let’s just not think about it for now.”

Neteyam nodded and let your head rest on his shoulder, he played with your hands before whispering

“I love you, ma Y/N. Thank you for giving birth to Nayla and carrying our second child. I’m the happiest Na’vi alive..” he whispered and kiss the crown of your head. It made you smile as you close your eyes

“I love you too, ma Teyam. I’m also the happiest na’vi alive.”

END

—.

taglist: @n1ght5h4d3-24 @mashiromochi @itscheybaby @calums-betch @devil-on-acid @laylasbunbunny @neteyamsmate4life @szchaql @eddiesluvt @kachowness @mirikusashes @incroyablegypsy @abbersreads @grierpilots @dakotali @alice121804

IT’S DONE PEOPLE! FINALLY! NOW I CAN WORK ON MY lo’akxmetkayina!fem reader!

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HAVE READ THIS SERIES! I’LL BE MAKING A MASTERLIST FOR ALL OF MY AVATAR FICS!

I hope I made you guys feel a roller coaster of emotions HAHAHAHA although I’m gonna miss writing this series😭

Can I have your words for this series? If so, thank you! I’ll do my best to reply to everyone who comments down!

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ggukkiedae · 4 months

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miya

[1:42pm kst, 231212, wc: 783]

(content warning: jimin and kookie’s enlistment)

conversations written in italics are in english

The bustling of the crowd sounded like a blur to her. All she could do was watch the last two of her members get ready for their entrance ceremony. She watched as Yoongi and Hoseok gave them some last pre-enlistment pep talks and as Seokjin approached them with a joking serious attitude before breaking into a large grin and a fit of giggles.

The internal fight of keeping a smile on her face for pictures was one of the hardest things she had done in recent times, yet she pushed herself to do it for her members. Not only was it the last of her members today, it was also her Busan boys.

“I’m gonna miss you,” she gave Jimin the tightest hug she could muster while rubbing her hand against his buzzcut. “Message me when you can. I know it’ll be at least five weeks, but send me proof of life.”

“I promise, Aegi,” he kissed the side of her head before letting go and bending down to look her in the eye. “You just keep messaging me like we agreed, okay? Everything that happens, I want to know. I’ll catch up right when I’m allowed to check my phone again. Got it?”

She nodded, lips pressed into a tight smile. He straightened himself before giving her a salute, the way he did to his family earlier. She bowed to him, muttering a thank you for looking over her and their country before she was pulled into his arms again.

“One more hug before I go,” he gave her a tight squeeze before letting her go. “I love you, my Busan baby.”

“I love you, too,” she grinned. “For the record, your haircut looks amazing on you.”

If the smallest increase of his smile came from her comment, she was proud

“Makdung-ah,” Hoseok called to her, “come wish Jungkookie good luck.”

Yoonmi took a deep breath as she slowly but steadily walked over to them. This was probably the goodbye (although temporary) that she was least ready for.

She made it to them, looking at her feet, not knowing what would happen if she met Jungkook’s eyes.

“Hey,” Jungkook laughed, “stop being a coward, and look me in the eye, Mimi.”

She rolled her eyes at him and looked at Hoseok with an accusatory expression. Hoseok simply laughed and gestured to look at Jungkook. She did, which she almost immediately regretted.

Twelve years of friendship and being by each other’s side almost every single day flew through her mind at such a rapid pace that she almost got whiplash.

This person standing in front of her has been her number one ride or die best friend for more than half her life. The longest they had been apart from each other that she could remember was two weeks, but they’d usually spend every day or every other day together for the past four years.

And there he was, getting ready to enter military camp where they wouldn’t be able to talk for a while and wouldn’t be able to freely meet each other as often for an even longer time.

She knew these thoughts weren’t just hers, his eyes were watering as well.

“Come here,” he pulled her into a hug, letting her wrap her arms around his neck while he enveloped her around her waist, lifting her up off the ground just the slightest bit.

“You take care of yourself and Jiminie oppa in there, okay?” she mumbled into his clothes, not wanting to look up because tears were threatening to escape her eyes already.

“Only if you remind Haechan that he’ll never beat me on your best friend tier even when I’m away for over a year,” he chuckled, squeezing her tight.

She laughed, though it was strained by her starting to cry, “Of course. It’s you and me, best friends in the entire universe.”

She didn’t bring attention to how she could feel warmth drip onto her neck, just under where his eyes were. It was another two minutes of them just basking in each other’s company before Seokjin approached them, tapping their shoulders.

“As much as I don’t want to do this,” Seokjin gave them an apologetic smile, “we have to separate you two babies. They have to go in now.”

The two maknaes reluctantly released each other.

Yoonmi reached up to wipe Jungkook’s already barely noticeable tears away. “Go and intimidate all those military people with your muscles and tattoos.”

“You know it,” he laughed and violently ruffled her hair, making her laugh. “I love you. See you on the other side, Mimi.”

“See you on the other side,” she smiled at him. “I love you, too.”

taglist: @sunflower-0180 @seaoffangirling @yourwonderbelle @1-800-enhypennabi @kamiiyou @strwberrydinosaur @uraveragefangirlsposts @caratinylyfe @1-800-minji @one16core @kimhyejin3108 @chansols @akshverse @toriluvsfics @billboard-singer @stopeatread @allthings-fandoms

drop an ask or a dm if you wanna be added or taken out of the taglist 🥰 requests are also open!

#yoonmi.timestamp #yoonmi.minmi #yoonmi.jungmi #bts 8th member #bts female member #bts female addition #miya #yoonmi #kim yoonmi

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milkywaydrabbles · 7 months

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He who was found in chains, set free. | XI

A/N:Sorry for the delay in chapters life has gotten very busy screams;; this is a shorter chapter, kind of a filler? But the episode this was based off (S4E7) is a rather slow one to begin with, so I figured I'd take the time to describe their heart break and the realization of love. I hope you enjoy it all the same, next chapter will start picking up the pace with action, maybe a bit of romance? We'll see!

You can read on Ao3 here!

You were scared to go outside. You were scared to leave the castle, scared to even leave your room. The confidence, the smiling, living freely-everything was ripped from you in an instant. And worse of all you weren’t sure if you even wanted to see Alucard or not. On one hand, you were furious, furious that he left you for so long and came back with the devil himself. The man that tortured you, abused you, belittled you. You’ve never felt so betrayed like this-never thought you could feel so betrayed. But it felt like Alucard had no regard for you or your life the way he had been acting (how could he act a specific way? He abandoned you.) You had locked yourself away in the room, the townspeople forgetting you even existed. You’re scurry along the edges of the halls whenever you needed even just a slice of bread to get you through the next few days. You remembered the days of never eating real meals. You could go back to it just as quickly, eating for survival and not for enjoyment. Alucard hadn’t seen you in days. Every time he thought he could grab a hold of you, you’d go back to the room with a small click of the lock and ignored all his calls through the door. You were rotting away in there, and he must have known it was his own fault. He broke your trust, and you must hate him.

You were grateful for the bathroom being a part of the suite, as you have no idea how you’d be able to avoid people for as long as you have. Even so, you barely had the energy to bathe, periodically doing so just to make sure you really weren’t rotting away. The curtains were closed, shutting away the light. Oh, how your heart felt torn to pieces. Slowly, Alucard had put you back together, helping you find your own voice, find things you love. You found your smile, if only just for the first time in your entire existence. He helped you learn, taught you so much about the world, and how it was kind and forgiving. You found yourself, learning more about yourself and your ancestry. You were a witch! And you would be a good one! Now, you didn’t even have the energy to read, let alone study on the craft. Laying in bed felt like laying in your casket. Limbs cold, bleary vision, ready to just waste away.

But, oh, being away from Adrian hurt more than the betrayal. Every time he knocked on your door, your heart broke. Each call out to you, saying your name so softly, hearing him beg for you to just open the door, just let him see you, just let him apologize--you’d go to the bathroom and close the door, crying in the tub just so that he doesn’t hear you. But you couldn’t help but sob, crying into your hands with a head so heavy. He’d still hear you anyways, his hearing so sharp he can catch almost anything. It destroyed him, knowing that he was the cause of all this pain. Not realizing that you cried so terribly because you wanted more than anything in the world to hold him, to be surrounded and overwhelmed by him and only him. Once, you really thought about opening the door. He’d brought you food, like he did almost every day, hoping you’d eat. Sometimes he’d leave it at your door and leave you be for a few hours until returning with the food still untouched. You wondered what the townspeople have been doing to the castle. You hear the children sometimes outside. You wonder if Adrian is with them, making them laugh. You wonder if he’s with her. With Greta. You wonder if he smiles at her like he used to smile at you. You wonder if he thinks about you when she’s around. You wonder if one day he’s just going to rip the door off its hinges and throw you out to the wolves for all your troubles and burdens. You wonder if he’ll do worse; stop coming around altogether and let you rot and fester until death takes you in this room.

And then you can’t help but cry some more, because oh, you realize this is what love is. And that you love Alucard. You love Adrian Tepes. And love hurts.

“I’ve left food for you, please, you need to eat.” He murmured against the door, again, and ventured off into the castle. These days he had no energy to do much, forcing himself to work on helping the village. It’s been hard, without you around. He knows it’s his own fault. He knows he deserves this. He tries not to think too much on it, for he’ll spiral out of control in misery. He’d found himself on the peak of his castle, overlooking the land and listening to the laughter of children. He looked down, seeing them all waving up to him, “hm..”

Alucard jumped.

The children looked on, terrified of the man falling to his seeming doom before stopping only a few feet above them. “Boo.”

The shock turned into laughter, the children giggling before running away probably to tell others of what they just saw. He smiled.

“That was nice of you.” Greta came into view, Alucard looking bashful that he was perceived. “I didn’t realize anyone was watching.”

“I was looking for you. Imagine my surprise when you dropped out of the sky and frightened a year’s growth out of the little bastards.”

Alucard sighed, looking away from her, guilt painted on his features. “Sorry.”

“No, really. It was nice of you. They don’t all have an adult who’ll pay any attention at all to them.”

“Let alone plummet down on them like death from above, I suppose.”

“You gave them a story they’ll be telling forever.”

“I wanted to talk to you about defenses, and I wanted to ask about your food supplies.” Alucard sighed, looked at the entrance of his castle that he now faced. “I’m not sure there’s much.” He really had no idea, saying as he was really only cooking for two--well, one. Now. and he didn’t keep much else around.

“Well that’s the thing. I was hoping we could use some of the dried meat you have to make meals go a little further?”

“Use it all.”

“Seriously?”

“Whatever you can find. I tended to forage fresh food in the mornings, but I’m sure I have some preserved things in the pantries.” To be honest, Alucard was only half paying attention to the conversation, eyes always drifting up to your window. Hoping, praying that one day he’d catch it open, that one day the curtain would even be slightly to the side bringing it some sunlight. That he’d be able to catch just a glimpse of your face.

“You don’t actually know what you’ve got in your castle, do you?” Greta’s voice brought him back, and he really wished it hadn’t. “Not really.” He shrugged.

“It looks like you were feeding an army in there up until a couple of months ago.”

Well....

“It wasn’t me. But I take your point. I’ve been...preoccupied. Beyond clearing up some damage from...let’s talk about something else. Defenses” He thought of all the times he could have spent cleaning up debris, or taking inventory of what was actually left in the castle, talking with you. Spending time with you. Learning your intricacies, the little nuances and ticks that you do when you’re trying to learn something new, or when you’re cooking, or when you’re explaining a new dish that you’ve always wanted to try and he was finally able to grab the proper ingredients for you.

He’s been preoccupied, letting you take over all the time in the world.

“I mean, I hope just closing your castle doors will keep people away, but...”

Greta sighed, looking towards her people.

“..We’re going to start losing the light soon. Let me show you where the weapons are kept..and then we’ll look at the outside.”

Alucard continued to throw himself into working with the townspeople, working with Greta to make sure their defenses were up. That they felt safe. And when the night came, the last remaining ounces of people he would have until the predictable fighting began, he thought of you. He wondered if you’d ever forgive him for the treachery he committed. The nightmares that he brought to your home. Alucard could never just think it his castle again. You were the light that shone down on him, showing him the good in people again. Teaching him that he can be kind, and forgiving, and patient. You showed him how to love learning about the unknown again. Your very existence permeated through the cracks of the walls, an existence he yearned for more and more with each passing second.

He missed you. He missed you more than he missed the ghost of his father, hell he might even miss you more than he missed his mother. And you were only a wall away, and yet it might as well be galaxies and oceans between you. He should have done more, should have done better after bringing you to your room to rest.

Adrian lifted you from the ground, holding onto you like you were the single most precious being in existence. You sobbed into his chest, nails sinking into his skin as he walked towards the castle. He whispered sweet nothings to you, hoping to calm your torments. But it all fell on deaf ears, you just wanted to be back inside.

As he approached the doors Greta had confronted him about the man who had just run into the forest without an explanation as to what happened. Alucard scowled, pressing you closer to his chest. “You’d do well to kill him should he ever rear his ugly head around here again. I’ll be less forgiving.”

“And why would I do that?”

He didn’t want to have this conversation with you here. He also didn’t feel right talking about your past at all. It wasn’t anyone else’s business. He turned away and proceeded to walk away from the confrontation, leaving with “Should I ever see him again, his body is the next on the stakes in front of my castle.”

He shouldn’t have left you alone. He shouldn’t have said that he had important matters to attend to. There was nothing more important than you. He should have stayed with you, and held you as you slept, and begged for your forgiveness when you woke up. But he left, and his heart felt like stone weighing him down to the core of the Earth. Alucard sat in his study, head heavy in his hands as he wept, tears dripping in splatters on the cold hardwood. It was hard to breathe.

And then he wept more, because oh, he realized this is what love is. And that he loves you. And that he’ll only ever love you.

And love hurts.

#milk writes #adrian tepes #alucard #alucard x reader #castlevania #adrian tepes x reader #alucard tepes x reader #castlevania (2017)#he who was found in chains set free #hwwficsf

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faintingheroine · 4 months

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Feminist Wuthering Heights criticism often proclaims that Catherine is a tomboy restricted by gender expectations and she identifies with Heathcliff partially because he is allowed to be mischievous as a boy.

But is that true? Edgar Linton and Linton Heathcliff’s tameness for example is certainly considered effeminate, but is there a corresponding instance of Catherine’s mischievous nature being considered masculine? I am not sure.

Is her naughtiness gendered?

“Certainly she had ways with her such as I never saw a child take up before; and she put all of us past our patience fifty times and oftener in a day: from the hour she came downstairs till the hour she went to bed, we had not a minute’s security that she wouldn’t be in mischief. Her spirits were always at high-water mark, her tongue always going—singing, laughing, and plaguing everybody who would not do the same. A wild, wicked slip she was—but she had the bonniest eye, the sweetest smile, and lightest foot in the parish: and, after all, I believe she meant no harm; for when once she made you cry in good earnest, it seldom happened that she would not keep you company, and oblige you to be quiet that you might comfort her. She was much too fond of Heathcliff. The greatest punishment we could invent for her was to keep her separate from him: yet she got chided more than any of us on his account. In play, she liked exceedingly to act the little mistress; using her hands freely, and commanding her companions: she did so to me, but I would not bear slapping and ordering; and so I let her know.”

(Chapter 5)

She seems as feminine as she is tomboyish in the ways she is being mischievous.

I guess we can say that Mr. Earnshaw’s wish for her to be “a good lass” is gendered (but then he is disappointed with Hindley too, but he is by his own admission even more disappointed with Cathy). Her father likes Catherine when she is sick and therefore silent, and considers her “a good lass” only then. That certainly seems gendered and supports the above feminist reading. And I think I would call Catherine’s ways “tomboyish” by the standards of her time?

I think my objection is to the idea that Heathcliff is allowed to be mischievous because he is a boy. Heathcliff and Catherine cause trouble together yes but I don’t get the impression that child Heathcliff was ever as mischievous as Catherine, I am actually certain that he wasn’t. Catherine and Hindley were dreadful to their caretaker Nelly while going through measles while Heathcliff was silent and patient and grateful. (But then I remember Heathcliff suggesting Cathy to run away together to the moors with the dairy woman’s cloak in Cathy’s journal, hmm).

Catherine and Heathcliff do not have the same personality. Heathcliff as a boy does swear and fantasize about violent things but he is neither as petulant nor as loud and joyful and impulsive as Cathy is. They are not the same sort of person at all despite the most famous quote from the book. I guess it can be said that their core shares an affinity, but their outward personalities are certainly very different from each other and that is so even when they are small children, even before they are properly socialized into their gender and class roles. Any reading that considers Heathcliff to be a gender-bent double of Catherine is nonsense. Yes the people around them don’t treat them the same but gender is not the only factor: Personality, demeanor, class and race are factors too. I mean Heathcliff even says “she was a young lady, and they made a distinction between her treatment and mine” - and I don’t think the “lady” here is an emphasis on gender.

@princesssarisa @vickythestrange @artemideaddams @dahlia-coccinea @longagoitwastuesday

#wuthering heights #catherine earnshaw #heathcliff #mr. earnshaw

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i-me-mine · 9 months

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As time goes by | Chapter 17: Gone

Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Word Count: 8k

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | AO3

Chapter Summary: Enjoying your last days in Hawkins before leaving for college could have been easier if you hadn’t had to deal with the fact that Eddie ran away and left you alone after you kissed.

Notes: Sorry it took so long for me to update this! Life got in the way, then I got locked out of Tumblr; it took me a while to get back to writing… and then I wrote this super long chapter - I thought about splitting it into 2 chapters, but it’s been so long since I posted that I didn’t want to delay it anymore xD.

People spend their whole lives experiencing moments and sensations that become memories that, over time, will weaken and disappear. But you were sure you’d never felt an emotion like the one that washed over you when Eddie kissed you. The feel of rough guitar-playing fingers on your skin felt etched into you, and his lips’ soft, urgent touch felt like you were meant to merge into one. The wave of feelings invading your being in those moments changed you fundamentally. You didn’t see how you could be the same after that.

And knowing that Eddie was gone and that you probably wouldn’t get the chance to feel that again was unbearable. It was one thing to dream of what it would be like, a wish lost in the realm of imagination… and another to have that vivid memory bubbling up inside you. You already knew you were going to suffer, like a drug addict going through withdrawal.

The sounds seemed far away while you were still deep in thought, but you could hear Steve’s voice, with a falsely excited tone, trying to encourage everyone to return to the backyard, drawing attention away from you. The room grew quieter, and you felt Robin nudging your shoulder.

“You are full of surprises, huh? I was betting on Harrington... But, you like Munson, then?”

“Yes,” you murmured, admitting it.

“But you like him, like… for real? How much?” Nancy urged, trying to get more information from you.

“Obviously more than he likes me, not that I can help that,” you sighed, ashamed, remembering how everyone saw you being rejected.

“Judging by the intensity of that kiss, I’m sure there is more love than you may imagine. I was worried we wouldn’t be able to keep things PG here.” Robin tried to cheer you up.

You shook your head in doubt, though your heart throbbed at her words, and you wanted more than anything to be able to believe them. At that moment, when you were his, and he was yours, everything seemed perfect, making it easy to feed your delusions that he could love you back.

Robin and Nancy started commenting on the boy’s dares, making fun of their performances, trying to make you laugh. After a while, you were feeling a little better, and you joined the rest of the gang, and gladly, no one else brought up the subject of Eddie up, so you tried your best to enjoy the rest of the night. As everyone returned home and you and Steve remained, he opened his arms, and you ran to his embrace, allowing yourself to cry. He knew you were hurt, and you knew that you could let your tears run freely around him, that he would offer you comfort, not judgment.

“It was too good to be real.” you breathed deeply. “How can the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me be at the same moment?” you mourned. “Why doesn’t he love me? Am I such an unlovable person?”

“Please, how could you think he doesn’t love you after that kiss? Seriously, I’ve never seen anything like that… I can’t even imagine what it was like for you guys who felt that. Someone who doesn’t love you wouldn’t kiss you like that; it’s impossible.”

All you could hope was that it had been as special to him as it was to you.

“But still, it wasn’t enough to make him stay. I think I’m just gonna have to leave it at that.”

Steve frowned. “Why are you saying that? Are you going to hide from him?”

“I won’t need to.”

“I’m not sure I’m following you…”

“He will do it for me. That’s what he does, what we do,” you explained. “Except that we used to do it together, hide away from our problems, from the world… But now I’m the reason why he hides away. So I have no other option than letting him go.”

“Don’t bullshit me, little lady... You may get hurt, but that doesn’t mean you stop trying.”

But you were not sure how many times you still wanted to try. Sometimes you thought that you just don’t know Eddie anymore, that you don’t understand his signs… or that maybe he is not giving any signal at all; it’s just you wishing to have something to hold on to.

“The truth, Steve… the hard truth is that if he wanted something with me, he would have made it clear already, he wouldn’t leave.” you used the back of your hands to wipe your tears, “but he always leaves. And I love him so much, but I’m tired of being on this alone.”

Your suffering hurt Steve deeply. He didn’t understand why things couldn’t be easier for you - if someone with a heart as good as yours was not happy in love, how could anyone else? It wasn’t fair.

“You know, some people live their whole lives and will never get the chance of getting a kiss like that or loving someone as much as you love him. Why don’t you just admit how you really feel? He deserves to know the truth. You deserve to get this out of your chest. I can’t stand you keeping secrets about this.”

“It was just a kiss out of a dare, and look what happened. I can’t say anything; I’m afraid it will only worsen things.”

Steve knew you were confused and hurt, and he didn’t want to push you further, but he also loved you too much, so he couldn’t help but be honest and try to open your eyes.

“Have you noticed that usually bad communication happens out of fear? Fear of conflict, fear of the result, fear of reaction…” he noticed how you looked down, avoiding his gaze. “This fear is a little monster that, if not crushed at the first opportunity of being honest, will grow, and this will become an evergrowing snowball jeopardizing everything.”

“When did you get so wise, big boy?”

“I think you bring the best out of me” he kissed the top of your head.

You were grateful that Steve let you stay there that night. The warm shower, plush sheets, and comfy bed in Steve’s guest room were welcoming, a lull in the middle of the hustle and an escape route from the trailer park, where you’d deep down wanted to be if only things had gone your way, but couldn’t think about going back after all that happened. You were daydreaming in bed when a light tap on the door caught your attention; Steve walked in and sat next to you.

“Are you feeling better?”

“I am. I’m sorry for my little breakdown earlier… I’ve changed my mind… I’m glad that I’m able to love him so much.” you spoke a little too quickly as if trying to justify something to him. “Could you imagine how hard it would be going through life without ever feeling something so great?”

“That’s my girl! Things won’t be this bad forever.”

“I know… and I could have avoided all this pain… but it would also mean I would miss all the awesome moments I shared with him. Things are not perfect, but I think I can live with that.” you shrugged.

“Speaking about the pain that could be avoided, but gladly was not… I think I never told you, but thank God I met you when I did… you changed my life.” he held your hand. “I was so heartbroken because of Nancy… I could have easily gone back to being a douchebag that didn’t care about anyone…”

“I doubt that, Steve…”

“I mean it.” he interrupted you. “I was confused back then, but you helped me. And you made me care about you. You showed me that there are still people with good hearts out there.”

“And you are one of them! Come here, big boy” You hugged Steve tightly, and he gently rested his chin on your shoulder.

“You saved me… and I can’t save you… that makes me so sad.”

“I don’t know how I would have survived all of this without your support, Steve. You are the best, and you are very special to me.”

You genuinely enjoyed spending time with him and getting to know him as a person was undoubtedly one of the few good things you got out of the whole nightmarish period when Eddie was with Samantha. You appreciated Steve’s kindness, loyalty, and sense of humor. He deserved so much more credit than he got.

“Same here, little lady. I just wish you didn’t have to go so far away… but I’m sure you’ll do great things..”

“Just wait and see what I’m about to do with my life.” you laughed. “But don’t worry, a part of me will always be with you.”

“I’ll miss you so much! Who is going to hang out with me now? No one understands me as you do. How am I going to keep myself busy without you here?”

“You won’t be alone. The kids love you, especially Dustin. Robin is great too.”

“Yeah, but she hates me.”

“She’ll learn to love you, just like I did.”

“I’m not so sure of it! I’ll miss having someone to take care… and be taken care of.”

“Take care of our kids for me, will ya? I’m sure they’ll need you. And don’t stop looking, you’ll find someone.”

“I’ll try my best! I’ll let you rest now. Everything will be better tomorrow; you’ll see.”

He kissed your forehead softly and stroked your hair like a loving father saying goodbye to a child at bedtime. All you could hope was that his words were true, that things would improve. But in the meantime, you could still find refuge in the memory of the kiss that changed everything.

It’s strange to see how a whole life fits into just a few cardboard boxes. Memories of years, happy and sad moments, little pieces of you separated into piles, cataloged as things to take to college, leave at home, and donate. Packing up your things was a long process over days, but it helped you physically stay away from Eddie, even though your thoughts were always on him. Until one day, as you were putting out the garbage, he approached slowly as if afraid you would run away from him.

Eddie, the vivid chaotic boy, who just couldn’t shut up about things, who always narrated so many campaigns, who had a quick mind ready to counter any smart player in D&D, was now tongue-tied, unable to find the right words to say, with a heart full of emotions and words stuck in the throat, repressed. He tentatively raised one hand as a ‘hello’ and just got a slight nod of your head as a response, which made his stomach ache.

“I’m sorry for fucking this up. I hate the silence between us. Shit, I miss you.” he bursted.

“A little late for that, don’t you think?”

You shouldn’t sound so wounded, damn it; you also missed him, you shouldn’t be pushing him, but your instinct gave out that reactive response before you could control yourself. You could see Eddie closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before speaking again.

“Look, I don’t want us to go on like this, ignoring each other in life, knowing that soon you are going away.” the dark circles under his eyes indicated that he hadn’t slept well in days. “So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, stupid, and if you were merciful, we could take a shot at just pretending nothing changed and being friends again.”

The sad look in his eyes reminded you of the face he used to have sometimes as a kid. You hadn’t had an easy childhood, but you also knew that you’d somehow muddled your way through it because you had each other to hold on to. Time has passed, but somehow you were still those two kids, not knowing what you were doing but always there for each other. And you had to believe that it wouldn’t change.

“Ok, I can do that.” you would rather have small pieces of him than nothing. “I miss you, Eds.” you gave him a small, shy smile, thinking how it was so good to tell him that, knowing all the feelings behind that.

Seeing your shimmering eyes and smile made his heart beat quickly. He wanted to take you in his arms and kiss you, but he wanted to take things slow, not wanting to risk losing you again.

“So, you should come to see us at The Hideout tonight… that could be your last chance to see us making a fool of ourselves on the stage before leaving us here.”

“I’ll be there; Gareth invited me… I’ll always be Corroded Coffin’s number 1 fan, no matter what happens or where I am.”

“Then let me show you firsthand the new song I’ll be playing today!” His eyes were now glimmering with barely contained excitement, holding your hand and guiding you to his trailer.

He showed you the setlist, played some songs, and told you how they almost secured a fixed weekly day to play at the hideout. He was so happy - It was so good to have that soft, funny Eddie back - that boy willing to make a fool of himself just to make you laugh and feel comfortable and happy. It was easy to forget all the worries while standing with him in his bedroom.

“We should stop running away from each other; things are always better when we are together,” he said, out of breath, after playing a few songs.

“Hey, don’t look at me; maybe the problem is you.”

“Oh, the problem is definitely me, I’m sure.”

“You have been nothing but trouble since our younger years,” you said, throwing a pillow at him.

“But it was fun,” he threw it back. “I didn’t know how much I liked you until I realized every time I saw you, I just smiled…. even you being an annoying little girl, I couldn’t stay away.”

And you smiled hearing his words, without even meaning to, like some infectious effect that Eddie had on you.

“The idea of having an older boy to protect me was too good to let it pass. I’m glad I found you.”

“I’m glad you never gave up on me.” As much as it was true, those tiny confessions were still hard to come out of Eddie’s mouth, so how the hell was he supposed to say anything else? He was trying to take small steps, but it was not getting any easier.

He laid down next to you without a word. It could have been an awkward silence, but staying next to him was too good of a sensation for you to complain about.

“Do you think I’ll adapt to college life? Sometimes it does not feel like something for me,” you said in a shy voice, as that was a genuine concern in your heart.

“I’m sure you’ll do great! You were made for this! I was not made for college, and unfortunately, I was also not made for anything else” Eddie hugged you and started to brush his fingers through your hair.

“You were made for being with me,” you thought but did not dare to say. As much as you wanted to kiss him and tell him how much you wanted him, you were also happy to be able to be there, hugging him again.

When you embraced Eddie, you felt like it was a kind of energy transmission, and it made you feel at peace, even if for a few seconds. Staying there with him like this was like the world stopped so you could be truly happy for a while. Even if just for a bit.

And in times like these, feeling his arms around you, you thought that there was nothing greater in life than your love for him… and that it should count for something… but you also knew that it was nonsense, that you were just living the last few breaths of something that had already ended.

“That was amazing, guys!!” you exclaimed as you entered the backstage.

“Things will be way quieter now that we won’t have you single-clapping for us after the show anymore.” Jeff laughed.

Acid remarks were being thrown on each side - you would surely miss spending time just hanging out with the boys at the hideout. Eddie, however, was grumpy in the corner of the room, clearly not sharing the fun vibe that was going on. When he noticed you taking gifts from your backpack to give to the boys, the farewell gifts you were distributing to everyone, he couldn’t handle that anymore and stormed out of the room.

“Don’t worry about him; he is just having a hard time dealing with… you know… the fact you are leaving soon” Gareth face transformed with a huge smile when he saw the red flannel shirt you gave him. “I love it, by the way.”

“Yeah, you rock!” Jeff added, proudly looking at the Black Sabbath shirt you gave him.

“Would you mind if…” you started saying

“Go, he needs you.” Gareth encouraged you with a smile.

You found him smoking a cigarette, looking to the stars, and he let out a startled gasp when he noticed you approaching.

“Would you mind sharing?” you said tentatively, getting a small smile from him, and he handed you the cigarette.

You stayed there for a moment when you finally broke the silence. “What’s wrong, Eds?”

He ran his hands on his face before looking at you.

“I just can’t understand how everyone could be so okay with you going away.”

“And I can’t understand why you are acting like this and wasting our time before I’m gone. It’s not easy for me, you know.” you countered.

Your sudden sincerity took Eddie aback. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. His facial expression seemed confused for a moment, and suddenly he wrapped his arms around you, and you rested your head against his chest. His hands slid up your back, and his cheek leaned against your hair.

“I’m sorry if I’m making things worse… I’m just feeling lost,” He admitted.

“So am I,” you whispered.

The scariest thing about distance is that he didn’t know what to expect. Maybe you would miss him or completely forget about him. He never planned to fall in love with you, and things could be much easier if he didn’t. But at the same time, thanks to you, he knew that his life was way better.

“Let’s go home, shall we?” he offered.

The ride home was quiet, both of you with a million thoughts running in your heads but not verbalizing a single one. There were so many things you wanted to ask him… but you knew that Eddie would lose it if he knew what you were thinking and feeling. As you got to the trailer park and climbed out of the van, you asked the question that was burning in the back of your mind.

“So… what should we do with our last days here?”

“I just want to spend every possible minute of them with you,” he admitted.

How could someone give you so much strength yet still be your only weakness?

“Come on, then,” you said, pulling him into this trailer, feeling his warm and sweaty hand in yours. It was insane to think how you were both afraid of speaking about your feelings but were also unable to deal with how starved for each other closeness you were.

Laying on the bed beside him felt like a luxury you couldn’t afford. You wished that you hadn’t wasted so much time shutting him out, maybe it was already too late to live what you would really want to, but that didn’t mean that you couldn’t enjoy what you have now.

“I know you are giving gifts to everyone, but would you accept one from me?” he whispered and smiled when you nodded, agreeing.

He then turned to hit play on his stereo, and you waited silently. Then the music began. And his voice, sweet, deep, passionate, started singing, and the lyrics described the travels of an adventurer in a distant land with his companion. Under that disguise, you recognized some of your own adventures and moments you both shared, and you knew it was a song about you. You listened, speechless and wide-eyed. You knew he was waiting for your reaction, but you couldn’t find the words to speak. Tears welled in your eyes, and you reached up to wipe them away before they streamed down your face.

“I thought that maybe you could take the tape to listen whenever you miss us.” his voice was low, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at you.

“Oh, Eds…” you started, but he interrupted you, putting a small package in your hand.

You opened it and couldn’t help but smile. It was a guitar pick necklace, but that wasn’t a typical guitar pick. When you were younger, you started doing small jobs here and there to get some coins, and the first thing you bought wasn’t something for you. You went to the music store and chose that pick for him. He used to tell you it was his lucky pick and used it in important concerts or whenever he was too anxious.

“Take it with you… maybe it would make you remember me once in a while. You know how it is, out of sight, out of mind.”

You took it in your hand and felt it for a moment. Its energy was warm and comforting, like a warm hug. You placed its chain over your neck and held it close to your heart.

“You’ll wear it?” he asked.

“Of course, I will.”

He grinned at you with that wide happy smile that melted your heart.

“You may not be able to be around me, sweetheart, but you can carry a piece of me with you,” he added shyly.

You reached out to touch his cheek, and he caught your hand, pressing it against his lips. He stroked your cheek With his other hand, and you could feel the blood rushing beneath your face. You stayed there, pressing your foreheads together, inhaling simultaneously. You wished you weren’t able to be so comfortable in silence because there were moments when things had to be said, but you both were, again and again, choosing to avoid speaking about what really mattered. Once again, you decided to delay a hard conversation and sank into sleep, enveloped in his warmth.

Eddie, however, was having a hard time falling asleep, afraid that if he closed his eyes, you would disappear. He slowly realized how much he would miss that intimacy - holding the other in the middle of the night, cuddling, holding hands, laughing about something dumb the boys did or said, listening to music, reading to each other. All the lingering stares. All those conversations without speaking. He knew he would not find that with anyone else, and knowing that he was about to lose made him want to cry, and it took a long time until he finally gave up and slept.

Despite the gray day, the sun escaped and entered through the window. When Eddie woke the next morning, he gazed at your back as you slept and felt something that he couldn’t name in the pit of his stomach. It could have been desire or affection, but he knew it was more.

Your bat tattoo on display seemed to tease him. You made it as a promise that you would fly away together, but now you were leaving, and he would stay behind, left, forgotten. He wanted to hold you close and not let you go away, but he knew it was selfish.

“I’ll make you proud someday. I promise,” he murmured, knowing you could not hear him.

He lightly touched each of the bats in your tattoo, trying not to wake you, thinking if they would somehow help you fly back to him one day. A gasp left his lips as he noticed you turning to face him. But you were not awake, not yet. He noticed how your eyes started to blink and knew you were close to waking up, so close… he ran his hand over your face gently and wished he could keep you there. He wished he had the power to know what’s on your mind and wished you couldn’t know what’s on his as he was ashamed of all the messy thoughts clouding his mind.

“Are you awake already, sweetheart? Let me get you breakfast then” he kissed your forehead, getting up and leaving the room.

An idea has been forming in your mind the whole night, and you looked around, finding Eddie’s notebook and his pen. You hurried and wrote what you wanted desperately to tell him on a piece of paper, folding it and writing “For Eddie” on top of it, leaving it on his bedside table before leaving his bedroom.

You had existed in a blissful bubble for the past few weeks, living in the moment, savoring every second of the time you spent together. You watched movies, read to each other, went on hikes, laid on the top of his trailer, and gazed at the stars. You took advantage of any opportunity to find comfort in each other’s arms without crossing the line of a kiss again, but you were happy anyway. It had been easy during this time to put off any serious discussion, any talk of the future. But as your last day in Hawkins approached, Eddie started to get sad, and in his heart, he began to believe he wasn’t good enough for you and that soon you would realize it, so it would be better if you were not there by his side when it happened.

On the morning before your last day, you got up and left the trailer while Eddie slept on unawares, snoring softly. You promised Will that you would play one of his campaigns before leaving, and the boys would meet very early in Mike’s basement. You knew the campaign would likely go through the whole day, so you had already planned a sleepover with Nancy, and Max would join you. Joyce was kind enough to convince Hopper to let El join the boys during the day, so you had the chance to also say goodbye to her, but unfortunately, he didn’t allow her to stay the night.

It was fun playing D&D with the boys. You couldn’t wait until they got to high school; you were sure that Eddie would love to welcome them to Hellfire. They were excited when you gave them your old miniatures and D&D guides. You knew you wouldn’t have time for it in college, and D&D stuff is usually something that you pass from one player to the other - you hoped that maybe you could pass your guides to Max, but she wasn’t interested in it - hopefully, your old things were safe with the kids until they could find a new player who would benefit from them.

You had a great time during the night with the girls. You knew that Nancy cared about the kids a lot, and you wanted Max to know that while you would be away, Nancy would still be someone she could count on - that’s why all the moments you three shared mattered a lot to you. And you knew you were going to miss them.

The morning of your last day finally arrived. Steve planned a farewell party for you, which was good, as everyone was busy with their summer jobs and you didn’t see them as much as you wanted to. But that was the last time you would see Max before leaving. When the time for the goodbye came, you gave her your gift: a Walkman.

“Music always helps, no matter what you’re going through. I’ll be listening to mine, so whenever you listen to yours, we’ll be connected,” you explained when you gave it to her.

Unexpectedly, Max threw her arms around you. “You be careful,”

You hesitated just a moment before you hugged her back. “You, too,”

She still kept her arms around your neck, head on your shoulder. “I’ll be all right,” she said, clasping your face. “But I’ll miss you, for sure.”.

“I’ll miss you too, Max. You have Nancy… and you have El too. She needs her time, but I’m sure you two will be great friends, be patient; it will happen, I know it! And I love you, don’t forget that!”.

“I love you too,” said Max, not wanting to let go of you.

When you got back to the trailer park, Marc was already waiting for you. He was there to get your things to put in the car, so you could go right after the party, not needing to come back to the trailer park later. You were glad he was there to help you - your boxes were heavier than you thought.

“Need a ride for the party?” he offered after loading the car with the last box.

“I’ll go with Eddie… but I’ll see you there, right?”

“Of course.” his smile diminished a bit. “see you later, princess,” he said before driving away.

Your house suddenly felt so empty. Your father was drunk already, snoring on the couch, and didn’t pay attention when you tried to say your goodbyes. You left your house and met Eddie in your usual spot in the woods near the trailer park. Without a word, he understood how you were feeling and held your hand, guiding you to the old tire swing where you used to play when you were kids.

“I think you need a little bit of fun, m’lady,” he said while helping you get into it.

He pushed you, and you started singing silly songs as you did as a child. He laughed and started to sing along, and at that moment, the sound of your voices made you forget all the things that were worrying you. It was like being back in those simpler times.

“You know I’ll stand by you, support and love you, no matter the distance between us, right? Nothing will ever change.” He said in a choked voice. The fact that he wasn’t looking into your eyes made it a bit easier for him to speak.

“Things change, Eds… in a moment we were kids playing here.. And in a blink of an eye, a decade goes by, and here we are… with me getting ready to move to another city, having to deal with living by myself, going to college, finding a job, adapting to a whole new life…”

“All of this seems too much for only one girl.”

“Well, don’t blame me for trying. I’ll try to have courage.”

And Eddie thought it was beautiful becausem deep down, he was a man afraid of many things - and he got distracted for a moment and didn’t notice you tried to jump off the tire swing and fell to the ground.

He hurried to check if you were hurt, and the sound of your laughter echoed while he helped you get back up. The rest of the world dropped away when you took each other’s hand and looked into each other’s eyes. You felt as if you could hear the flickering of birds, water lapping, and the wind blowing, and then all at once, you couldn’t. Everything around you fell silent. It was just the two of you.

It could have been minutes or just a second; you couldn’t measure how long you stared at each other, unable to break eye contact. Eddie looked like he was about to slam you against a tree and make out to you, or maybe it was just the burning desire playing tricks with your mind. Being so close to him was torture. You were tired of pretending.

“Eddie, I have to admit… I’m scared.” you were on the verge of tears

“Just saying that makes you more brave than you imagine… but you don’t have to be scared, sweetheart.”

But you were scared about the new life ahead of you and the things you were leaving behind.

“What if I’m making the wrong decisions, Eds? What if…”

He interrupted you: “I’ll be damned if I let your insecurities win. I have never met anyone like you; if there is anyone that can conquer the world, that one is you.”

“The rest of the world may not agree with you, Eds.”

“Sweetheart, other people’s judgments are meaningless… unless you allow them to mean something. Don’t do this”.

And as soon as the words came out of his mouth, Eddie realized something - He was always fearless, not worrying about the bullies in the school, always doing as he pleased… but it was different with you. He usually got speechless and was always worried about messing up and afraid of what you could think… and that was the reason. He didn’t care about what others were thinking except for you. What you could think about him meant the world to him, the opinion that mattered.

There was a lot he wished to confess, but he struggled to let the next phrase come out of his mouth:

“You know… I’m scared too. Things are easy when you are here… but life will be hard again once you leave.”

“And what does that mean, Eds?” you paused. “Is there anything you wanna tell me?”

His heart was hitting his chest, and he hoped you couldn’t feel its ragged rhythm. He, a man who could talk to anyone, was now tongue-tied in your presence. He just couldn’t seem to control his words or his emotions, though he tried his best. Every time you were together, he held back. He wanted to be all over you but was cautious, not wanting you to see how he was burning for you.

But time passed, and he kept quiet. You felt your chest getting heavier and bit your lip to avoid the tears pooling in your eyes. You took his silence as a sign of indifference.

“We should get back,” you murmured, defeated, walking back without waiting for him.

The sadness of the cold goodbye you got from your father and the silence from Eddie faded away when you got back to the trailer park, as Wayne was waiting for you with warm eyes and a smile. Saying goodbye to him was more challenging than you thought, and you could already feel the tears pooling in your eyes, and you looked down, not knowing how to say goodbye to him.

“You should get Hopper to arrest me - leaving you and Eddie alone is practically criminal negligence; who will take care of you now?”

“Our lives won’t be the same without you here… but I think it’s important to get away from where you’ve grown up for some of your life… Go see the world, kiddo! But don’t forget you’ll always have us here whenever you want to come back.”

“What if I don’t want to go?” you mumbled, pouting like a small kid.

“Keep your head up, my sweet, beautiful girl. This is just the beginning. Don’t forget this old man will always wish you all the best.”

You were never good with words, and this time you wished you were because there were so many things you wanted to tell him.

“I love you, Uncle Wayne!” You hugged him around the waist, tears streaming down your face.

“There, now. You don’t want to miss your party. Go have fun, kiddo. I love you.”. He patted your back and tried to hide that he was almost crying.

Eddie was also trying to keep his emotions under control and tried his best to distract himself by singing in the car while going to Steve’s house, knowing that was probably the last car ride you would share. He didn’t want to think of all the preparations you did - how you left him a copy of the keys to your trailer, how you let him store some of his belongings in your old room, to declutter a bit his bedroom in his trailer, how you were wearing his favorite shirt, and wearing the guitar pick necklace you gave him. He just couldn’t believe this was the day he would lose you.

When you got to Steve’s house, everyone was already there - Eddie let you go and join the others, he knew that everyone wanted to spend time with you, and he wanted to let you enjoy it. He was happy to see you all playing and having fun together.

And during all that, he gazed at you, trying to memorize everything about you. Your hair, your eyes, the clothes you were wearing, your lips, your cheeks, the color of your skin when the sun hit it, your voice, so beautiful while singing along with the boys, that smile that he loved so much.

He looked at you and wished he would never stop looking at you, but he knew it was the end. He could already imagine that the weeks would pass, maybe you would stop to write back his letters, to answer his calls, there would be that unspoken thing, the heavy silence, and you would then forget about him. So he knew he had to remember every little detail now because those were the last moments he would have the chance to see and witness them.

And you were smiling so beautifully, playing catch with the girls when you stopped and looked at him. And then you started to run to him, and without thinking, he also ran to meet you. He picked you up and spun you around, inhaling the sweet scent of your hair. Being around you made him feel giddy and excited. It made his heart race, and he could not string a coherent sentence, but he was glad it didn’t bother you.

“You know that not a single day will go by that I won’t think of you, right?”

“Good!” you replied, smiling.

He could picture the whole life ahead you would have, and he couldn’t help but feel like he was holding you back. He had no idea what would happen in the future, which scared him.

“You and I are going to be okay; you know that, right?” he didn’t know if he was telling that to reassure you or to convince himself about it.

You nodded, and when your lips opened to say something, Robin grabbed your arms, making you stand in a chair to make a speech to everyone before you left. Shyness washed over you, but you did your best to mumble a few words to everyone.

“And we may have had some ups and downs,” you concluded, looking fondly at the group, “but I love every one of you. I know that I’m moving on to the next chapter of my life, but please know that I sincerely hope we can hold each other close in our hearts. I know I’m taking all this love with me wherever I go.”

“She is smart. Too smart to stay stuck here,” Steve murmured. He could feel the tears falling, and Robin, standing by his side, was surprised to see that he wasn’t trying to stop the tears.

You raised your cup, your eyes shining with tears. “Cheers, everyone. I’m so glad I met you!”

“Cheers!” They all responded in unison, tapping their cups together and wiping their eyes with broad smiles. No one was smiling brighter and crying harder than the curly hair boy in the corner.

“That’s my girl!” you heard Steve call out from the sidelines - you were thankful he was there trying to cheer you, although it made you feel the blood hot under your cheeks.

He held out his arms for you and brought you in a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you, little lady,” he murmured into your hair as you leaned your head against his chest.

“I know you are, big boy!”

“I’m gonna miss you so much” Nancy stole you from Steve’s arms to hug you.

“Don’t. Be. A. Stranger.” Jonathan wagged his finger in your face.

You pretended to think about it for a second. “Sorry, Jonathan. Can’t make any promises.” You patted his face giving him a confident smile.

Eddie stepped into the space Jonathan had once stood in, finding himself beside you. The indescribable urge to touch and kiss you welled in his entire being, but he attempted to keep it at bay.

“Are you gonna say goodbye? I don’t wanna hear it.” Eddie said quickly.

You shared one last hug, hiding your face in his neck. You mumbled what you knew could be your last words to him.

“I’m afraid we will forget this. I don’t wanna forget how this feels.”

He stepped back and gently cupped your face, staring into your eyes. “I won’t forget. I could never forget you… it’s hard to forget someone who gave me so much to remember.”

You were unable to speak another word, lost in those chocolate-brown eyes. You hoped that your eyes would say enough.

“shh,” he whispered, brushing his thumb across your bottom lip. “it’s okay, sweetheart.”

Your eyes locked, and your breathing quickened. A tiny spark of hope that you would kiss crossed your mind, but the sound of a door slamming snapped you out of the moment. You turned to find Marc ready and waiting for you by his car.

“Up you go,” Eddie said, in a voice he was fighting to keep steady. He leaned in close, gently, and whispered, “I’ll miss you.”

He stepped back again, you both just staring at each other awestruck. Dazzled. In his mind, he kept repeating, “I’m never gonna be okay with being apart. I’m gonna keep missing the hell out of you,“ but he couldn’t find the strength to tell you that.

One side of his mouth pulled up into your favorite uneven smile. You couldn’t catch your breath soon enough to reply and just tried to smile back. The words stuck in your throat as you saw the lost light in his eyes just before he turned and walked away.

You waved your goodbyes to the others and joined Marc, ready to start the ride. Through it all, you sat numbly in the car, tears leaking steadily from your eyes, while you left your heart, your whole life behind, heading into the unknown.

Several beer cans were spread out in the trailer’ living room, and Wayne’s heart ached when he noticed a wasted Eddie with his head on the table.

“Boy, are you ok?” he asked, knowing already the answer.

“She left. Why leave me? Why no one stays? What am I going to do now she is gone?” the intrusive thoughts were fighting their way into Eddie’s mind and were winning.

“C’mon, boy, as much as heartbroken you must be now… she must have felt the same pain when leaving; she is crazy about you.”

“All I ever wanted was to be enough for her. But I’m not. Do we get what we deserve? Because it seems that I surely don’t deserve her. Why would I? She is now going to college while I’m here, stuck repeating the senior year. I wanted to be a perfect guy and be important, but why would she want someone like me? She would never want…”

Eddie was speaking so fast, his breathing increasing as he was getting increasingly anxious, until Wayne put a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down.

“You need to stop being so hard on yourself, Eddie. You need to see yourself as worthy of love, son, because you are.”

“I’m not; I’m just a fucked up mess.” he tried to push Wayne away, but Wayne decided not to leave Eddie’s side. “I always thought that loving someone, giving that much authority to one person was scary, but you see… that’s the easiest part. I would give my whole life to her without thinking twice - but the problem is that my life is not valuable, not enough for her, and that’s scary.”

“Being receptive to affection is one of the things that trauma steals from us, boy, and it hurts me to see this happening to you.” Wayne caressed Eddie’s hair. “I’ve already been in that moment of not accepting, or rather forgetting how to accept good things… and I can tell you that pain can put us in places that are complicated and far away from the ones we care about, and we can get lost… you don’t have to go through that.

“It’s not that easy! When I saw all those romantic movies with her, I understood why she loved them, but I never wanted to live them... I mean, can you imagine loving someone so deeply that when they leave, you crumble into pieces?” he sighed. “And here I am, feeling just like them. And I know what comes next, a pain that will engulf me so much that I won’t be able to eat, sleep or drink properly… I felt it before when we were apart, and now it will be even worse.”

“So you would rather not love her, then…”

“Loving her is the best thing that could have happened to me! But it’s the worst for her! I only mean trouble for her.”

“Life is trouble, son. You’ve got to fight for what you want.”

Eddie spent so long trying to convince himself he did the right thing but wasn’t so sure anymore. He didn’t know what to think.

“I don’t have the right to hold her life up. I can’t fight for her if that’s not what she wants. I need to respect her decisions, and she decided to go away. There’s nothing I could do.”

Eddie got up and left, not wanting to argue anymore. Wayne sighed - He knew how good for each other you were, how you always encouraged and supported each other, how you saved each other. And he could only hope that this would not be lost forever because he didn’t want to see Eddie suffering.

Eddie’s eyes drifted across his bedroom as he slowly entered. Every corner had something that reminded him of you, of the connection you two had, a sense of bittersweet nostalgia. What once was his happy place now felt empty and hollow. Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw your trembling lips trying to form a smile in that farewell moment. The weight of unspoken words pressed heavily upon his heart.

He sank onto the edge of the bed, letting out a sigh, replaying the moment of your parting in his mind - you have left for college, to your new beginning, while his feelings remained locked away, unvoiced - as these emotions surged, a whirlwind of frustration and regret filled his chest - he wanted to believe it was the right thing to do, he didn’t want to hold you back from pursuing your dreams, but with every minute away from you, his doubts gnawed at his resolve.

Amid his thoughts, a sudden flicker of color caught his eye. The folded piece of paper was on the nightstand amidst the chaos of scattered textbooks and old photographs. Seeing your handwriting in “For Eddie” made him smile.

He hadn’t dared to read it when you left it for him, but he hoped that your letter would have words of comfort and would help him cope with your absence. His trembling hands reached out to retrieve it, and his heart skipped a beat as he unfolded the note.

“FUCK! SHIT, SHIT, NO!” Eddie yelled, his frustration growing into a potent mix of anger and regret, settling like a heavy fog, enveloping his senses, making him throw things around - while broken fragments stayed scattered on the floor, his tears burning their way down his cheeks.

He sank to his knees, clutching the note tightly in his hands. It was a poignant reminder of the depths of feelings and the missed opportunity to express them. With every fiber of his being, Eddie wished he could turn back time and rewrite the script of your farewell.

Instead of the heartful, lengthy letter that Eddie expected, you wrote only 4 simple words to him:

“Ask me to stay.”

💜 For all of you that are still reading this, thank you, thank you! This story is my little baby, a coping mechanism for me and writing it helps me feel better, and I can't believe that there are people that actually read it! 🥰 Your feedback, likes, reblogs, and comments make my day!

@sidthedollface2 @bimbobaggins69 @moonmoosblog @corrodedseraphine @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @basketcaseeeeee @chloe-6123 @tlclick73 @them-cute-boys @mushroomelephant @crook3d-strang3r @ingridvasquez @vulcrum332 @1paire2vans @strangerthingsstories5255 @stranger-messenger @mitenchii @sherrylyn628 @sapphire4082

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bardicbeetle · 2 months

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hey. Hey. You got any analysis of the Lost Boys or thoughts on the movie to share? who's your favorite character in it and why??

@abalonetea

Analysis on the movie I've been many levels of obsessed with since age 14 you ask?

...this is going to end up undercut for length I can already feel it.

The Lost Boys is my comfort movie, my I-feel-like-shit-nothing-is-fixing-it movie, my I-can't-write-please-help movie and my go-to for when I am inflicting media upon a new friend. I know it backwards forwards, upside down and inside out, I own the out of print novelization written by Craig Shaw Gardener, I posted the original prequel script to fanfiction.net in the early 2010s because I found it buried in a forum post and wanted it to be easier to find, I have listened to every version of cry little sister that G Tom Mac has ever put out in addition to the entire stage musical he produced. The fic I wrote for it in 2011 is still on Wattpad and to this day for some fuck ass reason gets 1000s of hits per year. I have another fic for it on ao3 that still takes up brainspace for me on a minimum weekly basis.

Honestly do not know who I am as a writer if not for this film.

It is such a huge part of who I am as both a fan of media and a vampire writer and as a horror enjoyer in general.

And it is undeniably, baked into its bones, queer as fuck.

Not just from the overt point of here is a film in the 1980s about men sharing blood, directed by an openly gay man, hands us platonic and familial and romantic interactions between male characters, who are allowed to hold one another, allowed to express emotion, allowed to exist freely and without shame I am--so very abnormal about this movie.

I'll be the first to admit it's not perfect by any means, it very much exists a time capsule of its era, but also, to momentarily put the bar on the floor, it isn't slur laden and full of take-backs for any of the emotional vulnerability like other things around then were (see: Once Bitten, which while unarguably very much more on the comedy side of horror-comedy, i'm going to put into the same category by virtue of Camp Vampire Movies of the 80s).

It hands us one of my favorite mothers of all time. Lucy Emerson is a treasure, she spends the whole movie trying her goddamn best to remember that she is stronger than anyone gives her credit for. That she chose to divorce an abusive man, pick up her two sons, and leave without more than signing the papers and getting out. She doesn't care if they're poor, she doesn't care if she could have gotten something from her ex-husband, she wants her boys safe and there is a very large implication that sticking around to do the whole song and dance would have ended badly. Lucy lives for her sons, she wants so badly to make the world easier for them than it was for her, she wants to be part of their lives and part of their interests even if she does not understand them, and I maintain that Had Max Actually Succeeded, it would not have been long before the Lost Boys themselves were Lucy's as much as her own two sons, and that would not have ended well for Max. Protecting mother, lioness, made to be underestimated so you are always caught off guard.

Edgar and Alan Frog are near and dear to my heart, these idiot vampire hunter children were just so very much what my brother and I were in terms of Making Up Games To Play--ignoring the fact that for these two it's real, not that it ever had been before the Emerson family rolled into town and Sam's brother got mixed into the Lost Boys group. Edgar wanting to be in charge of things and wanting to protect the people he cares about and the town he is too stubborn to admit he loves despite being what, 12? 14? Alan being quieter but just as absolutely ready to go "yeah we are totally experts at this" as his twin, the fact that neither of them have any idea what they are getting into. Dipping barely into the sequels territory (which...they aren't good. by any definition. but Edgar and Alan are the best part of them both) we get Edgar dealing not only with his perceived loss of Alan to half-vampirism, but his whole loss of Sam after having to kill him and I just.

Ugh.

NOW, dipping into the main event there is Michael, who spends this whole movie just trying to figure out where the hell he's supposed to belong at this point. He doesn't see any point in starting a new high school in his senior year, he doesn't want to upset his mother by just absolutely dropping off the planet, he cares deeply about his family and wants to help however he can because they are struggling for money. So what does this seventeen year old kid do? He starts picking trash up off the beach for eight hours a day. He gives that money to his mother under the guise of it being "leftover from christmas" because he doesn't want her to worry about him working. He feels so fucking lonely without the friends he left behind in Phoenix and he feels like he's too old to supplant himself into a new friend group in Santa Carla before everyone goes their separate ways after high school anyways.

Enter Star and the Lost Boys.

Yes, Michael is taken in by Star because she's beautiful and mysterious and he's a teenage boy seeing nipples through a tank top, but beyond that he sees in her, in David and the others, how self sure they all are of the decisions they've made. This group is all within his age, they're all living in a goddamn sunken hotel half claimed by the ocean, they have motorcycles like him, they smoke weed and eat chinese food and Marko keeps pigeons and Dwayne can skateboard and Paul is a music nerd and what the fuck how do they manage to seem like they have their lives more together as a group of teenage runaways than he does?

He's enamored with it, obsessed with it, the movie speeds up a timeline of something that does in fact happen over the course of a couple weeks, of him hanging out with them, slowly experiencing more and more symptoms of vampirism from the blood he drank the first night, unable to stop coming back, unable to really figure out what it is they have figured out that he doesn't, and hoping that maybe if he stays with them he will eventually feel the same confidence in his own existence that they do.

But couple that with the horrifying reality that he is becoming a monster. His younger brother is terrified of him, the family dog bites him, the horses won't go near him, he pulls a mouse out of a trap freshly dead and squeezes it like a spent juice box into his mouth, he is falling apart at the seams by the time David decides it's time to finish things. And that's what David wants, he wants Michael in a position where he is no longer lucid enough to resist once there's blood in the air.

And it almost fucking works.

I stand by my belief that the entire movie hinges on the beach party where the Lost Boys kill a whole bunch of Surf Nazis. The whole thing, the outcome of the final fight, the failure of Max's plan, all of it hangs on that one night, and whether or not Michael can actually manage not to give into the bloodlust. He does manage, obviously, he leans into the shock and fear and near throws himself out of that tree because he knows that if he doesn't, he will join the blood bath happening not ten feet away. He is starving and exhausted and everything in him is screaming that if he just gave in, it would all feel so much better.

But he doesn't.

He lays in the sand until he cannot hear any heartbeats left.

Lays there clawing his hands into the ground like if he can hold himself still enough then maybe this will stop being real.

Three of the four boys don't pay much mind to this, Dwayne Paul and Marko have slipped back into regular antics despite being coated red. Their faces have returned to normal, their eyes no longer brilliant gold rimmed red, they are laughing and shoving and having a good time.

But David is furious. He's quiet about it, he isn't loudly angry, something I think he probably absorbed from Max over the years, he tells Michael what needs to be done if he wants to stay with them, and then he and the other Lost Boys leave him there in the sand, burnt flesh and ashes drifting down to him on the breeze.

The thing about David is that he realized the night on the train bridge that he didn't care about Max's bullshit plan. He didn't care that he was originally going to feed Michael to Star. He is fixated on getting Michael to join them, not just for himself, not just to keep Star around, but also because there's a refusal to give up in this kid that has him excited, a stubbornness that he wants to break. It's the thing that eventually leads to his death.

ANYWAYS.

I think, perhaps, I have yelled enough.

Oh, shit, favorite character.

I think without any doubt it has to be David. Especially after reading the novelization, the comics, the original prequel script, he's just, he is such an interesting character and his motivations are so obvious despite how much he would appear to hold them close to his chest. He's a root character I can trace a lot of the tropes that carry over in my own antagonists to, and some of my protagonists as well.

double anyways, camp vampires from 1987 my beloved.

Thank you Katie <3

#the magician cries #questions concerns and or rotten tomatoes #piles of vampire bs #tlb #the lost boys

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yandere-fics · 2 months

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♡ You Kill Miriel But Bring Her Back To Life ♡

(somewhat disturbing?)

♡ Your schedule was like clockwork at this point. Wake up and get ready for work giving your girlfriend a kiss as you leave, she likes to sleep in later but she still hums in appreciation as your lips meet her, or you think it's in appreciation, you can never tell since it sounds more like a wheeze, she's just so dehydrated in the morning's it's so cute. She can't even remember to brush and do her hair and so you make sure to braid it every morning before you head off. ♡

♡ In the evenings when you return you clear out any of the food she didn't eat from the fridge and prepare dinner, she never eats dinner with you and it seems like she barely touched the breakfast and lunch you made in the first place but you know she just has a light appetite still you always make the same amount every night before you head off to sleep just in case she's suddenly hungry that day. Your girlfriend hasn't been very cuddly lately but she allows you to cuddle with her anyways, she knows you're just trying to warm her since she's always so cold. ♡

"Miri please get up, it's already ten, I don't even know what I'm going to do with you, you keep sleeping the day away." She doesn't respond when you tug the blanket off her, you let out a sigh and go to tuck her back in, you relent to her wishes so often lately, however then you see a nick on her arm, there's no blood coming from it, the wound is unable to clot so you really need to bandage it if you ever want it to get better. You let out a huff and you grab the first aid kit from the bathroom, you always hated how little she seemed to care for herself. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you baby, you're just so clumsy."

♡ It was nearly two years ago when she changed, you'd been fighting, something about your family going missing, you couldn't remember all you remember is that you'd been so mean and when she started crying you shoved her telling her to take accountability for what she'd donee, she'd fallen back, her head hitting the counter top and then she went to sleep. You'd thought she was faking it at the time to gain sympathy to get your forgiveness for what she'd done however when you walked into the kitchen the next morning she was still there, blood all over the kitchen floor, a pained look on her face still. ♡

♡ It was your fault for ignoring her all night as she whimpered in her sleep. You understood why she was so cruel, never giving you the affection she used to give so freely but that didn't help any, hadn't you done enough to earn her forgiveness by taking good care of her these past two years, everything you did was for her now, you never called even your closest family anymore since they'd been the cause of the fight. ♡

"Why won't you answer me?!" You shook her limp body back and forth screaming in her face but she won't even open her eyes to look at you. This is a weekly routine at this point, you used to scream at her nightly in the beginning but now you can barely bring yourself to get angry with her except when it bubbles to the surface on occasion. You set her back on the bed collapsing on her chest and crying small apologies for being so rough when you should know how fragile her body has been lately, her arm hasn't even healed after a month. You truly don't deserve her, you don't know why she stays here with you.

♡ The people in your life often ask you why they never see her around anymore, you don't tell them how she hates you, you just tell them she's been so lethargic lately but she's recovering and you can tell she is, you can tell she's been eating sure it's a small amount that no one would notice however when you leave a plate on the table for her in the mornings at least some of it is gone when you return though she's still in bed and ants swarm the plate but you can tell the amount missing was too big to just be the ants so she must have eaten some of it. ♡

♡ She still ignores you and it's hard to bathe her anymore when recently she's started to smell very bad, you had been wiping her down with a rag but it's clear she needs a real bath you just wish she wouldn't go limp on you when you try to carry her to the bathtub, she used to pout at you to wash her in the bath after she washed you but any time you manage to get her in the tub with you she keeps her eyes shut and doesn't even touch your hair, the hair she used to love running her fingers through. You chop it off, there feels like no point in having it when she doesn't lather praise on it anymore, she doesn't react. ♡

You dragged her into the tub for her monthly bath today, she desperately needed it, she didn't smell at all until the second year rolled around which meant you had to start giving her full baths with you so she wouldn't just let herself stay in bed stinking all day. She lets out a wheeze when you set her down and turn on the water, it's cold but you didn't want to run warm water and shock her system since she's been so cold the last few years, you wash her hair gently and whisper about all the things you two could do together that night if she forgives you but her nether regions don't so much as twitch when you suggest this to her, you sigh and give up. She makes you feel completely unlovable.

♡ Your old friends and family call daily now, they worry about you, you never pick up though, they caused all of this, if you hadn't been so obsessed with that bastard who went missing you never would have hurt your beautiful girlfriend and she wouldn't be ignoring you, you'll do anything to earn her forgiveness including blocking them out for the rest of your life and solely giving her your attention. ♡

♡ Her heart is wrong, you realize as you place your head against her chest one night, she needs it fixed if you ever want her to get better, you carve into her chest one night to pull out her heart, it seems long faded, the first replacement you try doesn't work, you keep trying until you find one that do work. ♡

The donor you found that ultimately worked was a dear old friend of yours, an elf from the same village as Miriel even though she was way below your beloved girlfriend she shouldn't even be compared, Miriel exudes a elegance no other would ever be able to match still her heart was compatible and you smile as it slowly begins to weave into her body, the cavity in her chest closing up after what seemed like weeks of testing replacements. She's different, still colder than she had been before the incident and there was a huge scar on her chest clear that someone had dug into it but you find you don't mind as long as you have her back. You keep her original heart in a jar hidden under the floorboards, a reminder to yourself or be gentle with her.

♡ You're so happy you let her take you back to her village for your wedding, the greenery will do her good. She kisses you passionately seemingly unaware of what occurred during the almost three years she was comatose. ♡

#yandere oc #yandere lesbian #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere asks #yandere scenarios #my oc mirial

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lady-of-imladris · 10 months

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CHAPTER 4 - IF WE SURVIVE THE GREAT WAR

Synopsis: The years are passing by and Thranduil and Anarríma have some decisions to make

Word count: 4k

Pairings: Thranduil/OC

Warnings: mention of knife kink? I don't that any warnings apply to this chapter but please tell me if I missed something!!

Link to the chapter overview

Always remember Uh-huh, tears on the letter I vowed not to cry anymore If we survived the Great War - The Great War (Taylor Swift)

Thranduil was happy. For the first time in his life, he would freely admit to anyone that he was feeling great. His life was everything he ever dreamed of. The war was over, his people loved and respected him as a king, and he had her. Anarríma. His lady. His love. His everything. The king smiled to himself as he opened the small box Galion had delivered to him earlier. Yes. Today would be a very good day.

“This is the most stressful day ever!” Anarríma exclaimed loudly, pacing up and down. It was the anniversary of her first meeting with Thranduil. They had never exchanged gifts previously, but this morning, when they were still in bed, Thranduil had told her that he would like to dine with her tonight. Just the two of them, because he wanted to give her something. She had nothing for him. Yet. Ana strode to the door, opening it and telling the nearest guard to go find Galion, as quickly as possible.

Thranduil’s butler arrived not two minutes later. Anarríma received him in her study, where she was currently taking care of some of Thranduil’s work. The king had intended for her to busy herself with whatever she wanted. Sewing, reading, gardening. The choice was hers. But Anarríma grew bored soon, having been very busy the last two decades, planning and fighting a war. Thranduil had been surprised when Celeborn told him that Ana had been his chief advisor and a brilliant military strategist. Ana had not told Thranduil herself, and she did not intend to. What for? They would never fight anymore.

“How may I serve you, my lady?” Galion asked, bowing his head in respect. Anarríma looked up from her work. “You know what Thranduil intends to give me this evening?” Galion’s entire face went red. “My lady, I cannot-,” he stuttered. Ana held up a hand, silencing him. “I do not want to know what it is, I just want to give him something that matches his gift. I was not aware we would be exchanging gifts and I do not want to have nothing for him.” Galion smiled. He liked the lady Anarríma. She was making his king very happy every single day, and Thranduil deserved such happiness. They both did.

“You cannot gift him something similar, my lady. Our king’s gift for you is one of a kind,” he stated plainly. Anarríma threw her head back in frustration. “Of course it is perfect,” she mumbled, “What can I give him, Galion? What does he like?” Galion cleared his throat. “You. He likes you.” Ana looked at him bewildered. “So you are suggesting what? That I tie a pretty bow around myself and let him unwrap me? That I give myself to him and let him have his way with me?” Galion nodded, not even slightly shocked by the suggestion.

Ana sighed and shrugged. “Well it is Thranduil after all, I do not think he would complain. Thank you Galion, you may leave.” “Actually, my lady,” Galion spoke, putting a large box he had been carrying on the desk in front of her, “his majesty sends his regards. He wishes for you to wear this to dinner.” Ana smiled, Thranduil always did this. He constantly sent her new dresses to wear, and they were always made from incredibly soft and beautiful fabrics. She gently untied the bow and took the lid off the box, revealing a sparkling white gown. Galion smiled knowingly, bowed, and left.

The dress was stunning. She had never seen something like it before. It looked like it had been made of pure starlight, possessing an almost unnatural glow. Anarríma took it out of the box fully, hanging it properly, so it would not crease before dinner. She mindlessly ran her fingers along the golden embroidery along the sleeves, and sat down again, finishing the last bit of her work for the day before getting ready for the dinner with Thranduil.

The king groaned inwardly, fidgeting with the small box in his pocket. If there were a prize for the worst meeting, this one would surely win it. His advisors were pestering him constantly. Thranduil was tired of it. One of them, a relic from his father’s reign, was asking him almost daily about his plans to produce an heir. He would love to release him from his duties, but that proved impossible. He was the only one who understood his system, so losing him would plunge the realm into chaos. Thranduil had secretly tasked his good friend Feren with acquainting himself with his councillor’s bookkeeping. He would be rid of him soon enough. The king rose from his seat, declaring the meeting to be over for the day, as he had other plans. It was time for dinner.

Nervously, he walked back to his chambers, his hand in his pocket. When he walked in, he found Anarríma, sitting at her vanity, idly brushing her hair. She was so lost in thought that she did not hear him walk up to her. Ana jumped as she felt him gently take the brush out of her hand. He chuckled and began brushing her soft curls. “Good evening, meleth nin.” Ana smiled and relaxed into his touch. “Hello, my love. Did Galion bring you the dress?” Thranduil inquired. The elleth nodded excitedly. “It is beautiful. You shouldn’t have.” Thranduil returned the brush to its place on the vanity and offered Ana his arm, walking her into their dressing room.

“Tonight is a very special night. It calls for a very special dress,” he commented, taking her dress off the hanger and helping her step into it, not even trying to conceal how he was staring at her chest. Thranduil laced up the dress, kissing his way up Anarríma’s back, drawing little gasps from her. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder, looking at them in the large mirror. “We match,” Anarríma remarked upon seeing that Thranduil’s robes were made from the same shiny material. She smiled as the king kissed her cheek softly. “Shall we?” he asked, offering his arm. Ana took it and let him escort her to dinner.

They ate in Thranduil’s dining room. The doors to the balcony were open and the setting sun enveloped the forest in a warm glow. Anarríma noticed Thranduil getting more and more nervous as the night went on, constantly fidgeting. “Meleth nin, are you alright?” she asked after dessert had been served. Thranduil looked at her, startled by her question. “Yes, yes I am fine, how are you, my darling?” he choked out and hastily ate some cake. Ana was perplexed by his behaviour. “I am- fine? But what on Arda is going on with you? You look as if you were about to face Ancalagon himself.” Thranduil chuckled nervously at the comparison. He would rather face Ancalagon at this very moment.

As Ana finished her dessert, Thranduil decided that it was time. He rose from his seat and took her outside. She looked beautiful in the light of the setting sun and Thranduil found himself staring at her, just smiling. “I love you, Ana,” he whispered to her as he wrapped an arm around her waist and looked out at the vast forest. “I love you too,” she whispered back, leaning against him and breathing in his scent. “Marry me,” he said suddenly, not knowing what came over him. He had planned it meticulously, what he would say to her. Word for fucking word. And he had messed it up just like that.

“What?” Anarríma’s voice was shaky. Unsure of whether she had imagined it or not. Thranduil tore himself away from her and went down to one knee, holding both her hands in his. “I have loved you from the moment I first held you in my arms and I cannot ever let you go. I want you. I need you. I need you at my side, as my queen. I need you to face all the ages of the world with me. I want you to raise our children with me. I want you to marry me.” Anarríma had tears in her eyes as she looked down at the king kneeling before her. Every single day he told her how much he loved her. Wanted her. Needed her. But this was different.

Thranduil took the small box out of his pocket and presented it to her. It was a stunning piece of jewellery. It looked like tiny branches, intertwined with each other, incredibly small flowers growing on some of them. Had she been paying closer attention, Anarríma would have noticed that the design of the ring matched the embroidery on her gown. But she was hypnotized. By the ring, and by Thranduil’s eyes. She knew their colour inside out, but she could swear that they were different. There was a fire in his eyes. Thranduil was a dragon, and she was his treasure. And he would never let her go.

Her hands were shaking. Her entire body was. She could not keep him waiting much longer. Anarríma wordlessly extended her left hand towards Thranduil, still shaking very obviously. Thranduil took the ring out of the box and slowly pushed it onto her finger. Ana stared blankly into space, tears streaming down her cheeks, wincing slightly when she felt the king kiss her hand. She loved him. She wanted to spend the rest of all eternity with him. She wanted to be his. But everything in her screamed at her to run away from Thranduil. To save herself. Anarríma commanded her body to obey and the voices stopped, but not before uttering one last thing. You will die at his hands.

3 years later

Thranduil and Anarríma, his betrothed, awoke like they did every day, naked and holding each other. This day, however, was very different. This was the day they would be getting married and she would be crowned Queen of the Woodland Realm. Thranduil smiled to himself at the thought, as he slowly ran his fingers through his soon-to-be wife’s long golden curls. Her hair had grown so much since the end of the war that it now reached her waist. Thranduil once told Ana that it was probably his doing, since he pulled her hair so often. The tips of her ears had turned bright red at his comment. Reminiscing, the king gently wrapped her hair around his hand and pulled on it, earning a sigh of contentment from his lady, who was still half asleep.

Their peace did not last long. Galion was the first to enter, ushering them out of bed and urging them to get dressed. The delegations from Loríen and Rivendell had arrived. Anarríma sprinted down the hallway to the throne room, dragging Thranduil with her. She had not seen Celebrían or Galadriel in over 15 years. “Nésa [sister],” she exclaimed excitedly and jumped into her Celebrían’s arms. “I have missed you so much,” they both said at the same time, laughing and crying. Anarríma felt a soft hand caress her head and she turned around to see Galadriel standing behind her, smiling. “Ammë [mother].” “Suilad, sëldenya [Greetings, my daughter],” Galadriel hugged Ana tightly. “You have been so very brave, my child,” she whispered the thought to her, only in her mind.

Anarríma greeted Celeborn and Elrond next, leaving Thranduil standing around awkwardly in his own throne room. He bowed to Galadriel and Celebrían. “Hirilion nin [My ladies]”. Celebrían chuckled and approached the king, pulling him into a hug. “Don’t you ever call me that again”, she chided. Relief washed over Thranduil, but it was quickly dampened when he met Galadriel’s penetrating gaze. “Oropherion,” he heard her voice in his head, “do not presume that I do not know what happened between you and my daughter in that tent. My husband told me everything.” A shiver ran down his spine. How much did Celeborn know? “He persuaded our dear son-in-law to tell him what had transpired between the two of you”, Galadriel answered his unspoken question. Thranduil saw her mischievous smile and he felt her leave his mind. The hard part was over.

Anarríma turned around as she sensed another presence in the room, letting go of Lord Celeborn. Her brows furrowed as she properly regarded her sister. “You’re pregnant!?” she exclaimed in surprise. Celebrían laughed and nodded. Ana turned to Elrond, who smiled proudly. “Twins,” he confirmed. “Congratulations,” Thranduil said, having finally regained his composure, “the two of you will make marvellous parents.” “As much as I would love for this conversation to continue,” Celebrían cut in, “you are getting married in three hours and the both of you look like you just rolled out of bed.” Thranduil and Anarríma exchanged guilty glances.

“I’ll get ready in my office, you take our chambers,” Thranduil said to his lady and walked off, Celeborn and Elrond following him. “Our chambers?” Celebrían gave her sister a suggestive look and they both giggled before walking to Ana’s chambers, Galadriel in tow, chatting the whole way there about their lives. The Lady of Loríen, however, was deep in thought. Her daughter, the Lady of Rivendell was expecting twins with her loving husband, and her other daughter, the soldier, was about to marry her great love and become the Queen of Lasgalen. Galadriel ought to be happy. But she knew what was still to come. And she knew she could not prevent it.

Galadriel forced herself to smile and pretend to be happy. It was easier than she thought, being her daughter’s wedding day. She sang old songs of Doriath as she brushed Ana’s long golden hair, and there were tears in all of their eyes when they helped her into her dress. Anarríma thought it too extravagant, but some part of her also loved it. The dress had a train that was longer than any she had ever seen before, the sleeves were trailing on the ground as well.

The fabric was gold and silver, shining and sparkling with her every movement, and the bodice was very low cut. It consisted of leaves, silver and golden, and encrusted with sparkling white gems. Some were embroidered fabric, others were made of metal. They covered her breasts, but little else. Anarríma still remembered Thranduil’s face two weeks ago when she told him he could not leave any marks on her body anymore. She was fairly certain that Thranduil would make up for the lost opportunities as soon as they were alone tonight.

Soon the time came for Galadriel and Celebrían to join the other guests. Galadriel sent her daughter ahead so that she could have some last words in private with Anarríma. “Do you love him?” she asked, not beating around the bush. Ana nodded. “I do, Ammë. I love him so very much.” Galadriel smiled sadly. “Then it will be worth it.” Anarríma felt frightened. Her mother being cryptic was nothing unusual, but at that moment, she scared her. “What will be worth it, Ammë?” she asked, almost afraid of hearing the answer. Galadriel did not answer. She opened the door and walked out, looking at her daughter one last time. The pain was almost unbearable. “If you marry him, it will be your doom,” Anarríma heard her mother’s voice in her mind, “and if you don’t, we will all be doomed.” And then she was alone.

Celeborn arrived to escort his daughter down the aisle. He found her standing in her chambers, staring blankly at a wall, fighting against the tears. “Anarinya?” he spoke gently, “are you alright?” Ana turned around and blinked a couple of times, nodding to her father, “Shall we?” Celeborn was not convinced at all. Nevertheless, he offered his daughter his arm. She took it, and Celeborn gently cupped her cheek and turned her face up so that he could look into her eyes. “It is not too late, I can get you out of here, Anarinya. Just say the word and this all ends.” Ana shook her head and pulled back slightly. “No Ada,” she said. “There is no other way.”

It saddened Celeborn to see his daughter like this. She had seemed so happy about the marriage. What had his wife said that caused Anarríma such grief? He knew she would never tell him. He, too, was powerless. They were quiet as they walked down the corridors of Thranduil’s halls. The guest list was long, Thranduil was a king after all. Even before they made it to the aisle, people were gathered to see her, curtsying as they passed. Anarríma and Celeborn made their way to the altar, where Thranduil was waiting anxiously for his bride. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her. Anarríma. His lady. His queen. His bride.

Usually, elven weddings were small gatherings. The only necessary components of the ceremony were the exchanging of vows and the consummation, or in their case, the exchanging of vows. Anarríma would swear not only an oath to him on this day, but also to his kingdom. She was nervous beyond all aid, but seeing Thranduil wiped her mind clean of all thoughts. He looked at her as if she were the only thing in the world that mattered and with an uncharacteristically wide smile. The king wore his crown of branches and leaves atop his head. He wore white with some gold embroidery on his cape. Celeborn kissed his daughter on the forehead and placed her hand in Thranduil’s. “Be happy, Anarinya,” he whispered to her and took his place next to his wife.

The ceremony was kept short, as was Thranduil’s preference. He would rather show his love to his wife in private. “I, Thranduil, King of Lasgalen,” he proclaimed, “hereby vow that I will cherish and love and protect you until the end of time. I swear by Manwë and Varda, by Aulë and Yavanna, that my love for you will never falter. I hereby take you, Anarríma, to be my wife. From this day, until the end of all days.” He slid the ring onto her finger gently, and yet, Anarríma felt as though she would pass out. He will be your doom. You will die at his hands. This will claim your life. The words were repeated over and over in her head.

“I, Anarríma of Loríen,” she commanded her voice to obey as she took the ring into her hand, “take you, Thranduil, as my husband.” And by Manwë and Varda, by Aulë and Yavanna, I vow to love you until the end of time. No. “And by Mandos, I vow to love you until my last breath.” So it came to pass that Anarríma of Lothloríen wed Thranduil, the King of Lasgalen. And so their doom was final.

“Kneel,” the king commanded, “swear your oath to the kingdom and receive your crown.” Anarríma obeyed. “I vow to protect this kingdom and its people from all evil, be it known or foreign. And nothing shall defend from me, whoso tries to cause it harm. This I swear by Eru Ilúvatar, I will give my life for this kingdom. I will not know mercy against our enemies.”

It was a cruel oath she took, but it was necessary. There was peace now in middle earth, and though Elrond pretended it would be everlasting, Thranduil was careful. The crown of golden leaves was placed on Anarríma’s head. It felt heavy, like a physical manifestation of the vow she had taken. Thranduil offered his hand to help her to her feet. “My queen”, he said, and it sounded like a threat. Should anyone harm a hair on her head, Thranduil’s wrath could not be contained.

The celebration that followed was unlike the ceremony itself in every single way. It lasted until the break of dawn and there was plenty of wine, food and laughter. By the end of it, Anarríma was certain she had not skipped a single dance. Everyone wanted to dance with the bride and who was she to deny them? Thranduil tried his best to contain his jealousy, but if this weren’t one of the most important days in their lives, he would drag his wife away and not leave their chambers for at least a week. But by the break of dawn, he decided that he was well within his rights to follow through with his plan.

He raised his glass for a final toast and Ana abandoned Elrond on the dancefloor to join him. “Before my wife and I retire, I want to thank you all for attending today, my dear friends. May we go towards a brighter future together.” A servant brought Thranduil a box and he took a necklace out of it. The white stones were sparkling in the fading starlight, shining brighter than the silver tree Telperion itself. “But nothing shall ever shine as brightly as my beautiful wife.” He stepped behind Anarríma and brushed her hair aside. She gasped slightly when the cold metal made contact with her skin. Thranduil clasped the necklace and she felt its weight rest against her neck and shoulders.

They left without much decorum, but they were followed by thunderous applause and laughter as Thranduil picked Anarríma up and carried her away. He smiled to himself smugly when he felt her settle into his embrace, as he heard the last noises of the party fade away. They were making bets on when the royal baby would be born. But Anarríma and Thranduil just laughed. They had all the time in the world.

Anarríma had lost both her shoes and Thranduil’s ornate robes were dropped unceremoniously in some hallway on the way to their chambers. They were both drunk and clumsy and very, very happy. Thranduil’s guards opened the door and retreated hastily. “As King of Lasgalen,” Thranduil proclaimed, “I hereby declare the ban on leaving marks on your body lifted.” With that, he carefully put Anarríma down on the bed and immediately kissed his way down from her neck to her stomach, leaving little red marks all over her body. She made a noise of utter contentment and relaxed completely.

“Thranduil,” she whispered breathlessly after a while, “off.” She vaguely gestured between them, but Thranduil understood. He took off his shirt and pulled Ana to her feet. He tried his best, but the laces of this wedding dress were unlike anything he had ever seen. The king fetched a dagger. “Not the dress,” the queen warned him, trying her best to conceal how turned on she was by the thought of him bringing a knife into this. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Thranduil kissed Ana’s shoulder before half ripping, half slicing through the laces of her dress.

The maids would gossip the next morning, finding the queen’s dress on the bedroom floor, the laces cleanly cut and the king’s robes somewhere in the hallway. One of the queen’s shoes dropped off a stairwell and was discovered years after the wedding by a guard, earning much laughter from the king and queen, who fondly remembered their wedding night.

The gracious queen Anarríma would thank the guard, take the shoe from him and find herself in Thranduil’s arms again. His eyes were telling her that he wished for a reenactment of their wedding night. “You get to rip this one if you want,” his wife would suggest to him quietly, a little voice in her head had told her to wear an older gown when she got dressed in the morning.

And Thranduil did.

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