#we as humans are simply a fragment of their mind

[thechaosgods]

I’m mythologizing the ideas of Jaegers again.

Imagine your whole life is spent with fighting, but from the *MOMENT YOU WAKE UP* to the moment you fall back asleep, eternally- or you get turned off. All you feel is the love and devotion and fervor of your pilots.

I feel that it would make a god out of anything. The simple worship of life itself born of pain and misery.

I feel that the Jaegers would be the most loving things in the shatterdomes, simply out of principle.

#pacific rim #I feel that this fandom kinda under-appreciates them #and it’s not bad but it’s a little sad #they are cultivated though their pilots and their care and devotion to their planet and way of life #and that in and of itself is poetic #we as humans are simply a fragment of their mind #but we are still encompassing them in their entirety #pacific rim jaegers #jaegers #pacrim

[avocad1s]

Bring Back What Once Was Mine

Chapter Summary: At last The Creator has returned from Celestia with a new view on how to protect Teyvat. However, the greatest mystery is shrouded behind cracked facades. The fragments will be uncovered at last.

Characters Mentioned: A ton of characters mentioned and included

Content Warning: Cult and Religious themes ahead! You've been warned.

Reader is the true creator of Teyvat. GN! Reader

Part Seven Part Eight (You are here) THE END

It took only a few weeks for the word to spread all throughout Teyvat that the one they had been worshiping for decades wasn’t the real Creator. Many were distraught and confused by the news and rightfully so, that imposter had been the only “Creator” they’ve known their entire lives. All everyone wanted to do know is meet their true Creator or have the chance to simply rest their gaze upon them.

Unfortunately for the Traveler, as more and more people became aware of her involvement, the more letters and gifts she was given addressed to the Creator. It only took a week until she had to keep the gifts in her Serenitea Pot, since she had too many to carry now. But letters weren’t just sent to her for the Creator, many of her powerful friends like the Kamisato siblings, Ningguang, and the Acting Grand Master would invite her to dinner and ask how the Creator was like so they can prepare for their return.

However Lumine couldn’t lie, she was just as anxious for their return like everyone else. Even though she should just move on to the next nation to complete her quest of meeting the Seven, she finds herself stalling hoping that once the Creator comes back to Teyvat she’d be the first person they’ll greet. Yet maybe that’s just her being delusional, surely the Creator wouldn’t come see an Outlander before anyone else, before the Archons.

Lumine lets out a frustrated sigh as strikes down the final hilichurl in the camp before putting her sword away. Thinking about her brother that she missed dearly was the main thing keeping her mind off the Creator, but she couldn’t help but wonder what Aether would’ve thought of them. During her journeys with Dainsleif, she knew that her brother hated the Archons and he chosen the Abyss over humanity, but would that include the Creator too? She completely understands why he would have reservations about the Archons, but the feeling she got just being near the Creator felt like she could trust them with her life.

“Hey Lumine?”

The Traveler wipes the sweat off her brow noticing that Paimon was back next to her, “what is it? Don’t tell me you’re hungry again.”

Paimon scoffs crossing her arms, “firstly, Paimon is always hungry. Secondly, Paimon was worried about you. You are taking more commissions than usual. Are you alright?”

Paimon was right, even though the Traveler was known for her hardworking and selfless nature, she was definitely overdoing it.

Lumine breathes out feeling fatigue growing through her body, “I feel completely fine.”

Paimon frowns, “will you take a break, please?”

The Traveler wanted to ignore her friend’s worries but she lets out a sigh nodding, “alright. Should we head to the City and order some food?”

The fairy’s eyes light up but she shakes her head, “you know Paimon enjoys your cooking much more!” Lumine knows that Paimon only said that so she wouldn’t be bombarded with letters and gifts for the Creator, but she decides not to say anything.

Lumine and Paimon work together to construct a campfire, once finished, Lumine begins preparing something random for the two of them to share.

“So are you going to ask the Creator about your brother?” Paimon asks breaking the silence that was once between them.

Lumine tears her gaze of the flame looking at Paimon, “they haven’t been on Teyvat in hundreds of years. I doubt they know anything about him.”

“Yeah but they are the Creator. They have a connection to Teyvat that no one else has.”

Lumine shrugs, “well that’s if we ever see them again.”

Paimon tilts her head confusion laced in her voice, “why wouldn’t we see them again. They are our friend after all.”

The Creator is the most important person in this world, and know that everyone knows they’ll be back soon, they may not have any time for Lumine to ask them anything.

“Paimon’s right, we’re friends!”

Lumine snaps her head in the direction of the voice a feeling of hope in her chest.

Just a meter away, the Creator stood giving them a small smile and a wave before approaching their makeshift campsite. They sit in the soft grass next to Lumine crossing their legs comfortably. “Why wouldn’t I make time for you?”

The Traveler stares at them with wide eyes, “you’re back?”

They nod, “sorry for keeping you waiting. Being in Celestia took longer than I expected.”

“Oh right! Paimon forgot about that. How did that go?”

They sigh, “I think Celestia and I came to an understanding, but I’ll tell you about it later. How’s Teyvat been?”

“The Fatui and I managed to spread the word of the imposter. Now everyone knows you’re the real deal.”

The Creator smiles at the Outlander causing the girl to feel a warmth spread throughout her chest.

“I will never forget everything you did for me Lumine, and if you ever need anything at all. Please do not hesitate to ask.”

Paimon nudges the girls shoulder.

“Actually there is one thing I’d like to ask.” Lumine says sheepishly.

“Oh you do? What is it?”

Lumine lets out a sigh before telling the Creator everything that lead up to her getting to this world. The Unknown God, her brother, Khaenri’ah, everything. She tells them about her quest of meeting the Seven to see if any of them was this God that separated her and her brother.

The Creator gives her a sympathetic smile, “I am sorry about all of the things you had went through I had no idea, but regarding your brother, I have met him.”

Paimon and Lumine both look shocked at their confession. “When? What did he say?”

“It was before I confronted the Imposter, I didn’t know he was your brother. He didn’t mention anything, and when I met him I couldn’t see his face clearly to see any resemblance to you.” The Creator explains. “We didn’t talk about much, we were interrupted before he could tell me anything important.”

Lumine looks down disappointedly as the Creator reaches over patting her shoulder, “don’t look so down. You’re still looking for him right? I am here to help you no matter what. Siblings should never be separated.”

Lumine smiles hearing their sweet words, they were actually offering to help them anytime she needed. Even though her other friends throughout Teyvat helped the best they could, she knew she could depend on the Creator to keep her word. She felt that she would see her brother sooner than she expects.

“So what are you going to do now?” Paimon asks.

“I’m going to visit all of the nations. I think my presence has been missed dearly.”

“Missed dearly would be an understatement…” Paimon retorts.

“Where will you go first?”

The Creator brings their finger to their chin pondering for a moment, “I think I’ll go to…”

-

The choice is now yours Your Grace, every nation will be written as if you chose them first. Read one, read them all!

However reading the last one is vital ;)

-

MONDSTADT

Jean was busier than ever.

As the Acting Grand Master, Jean is constantly dealing with the well-being of Mondstadt and leading the Knights of Favonius. Even though her friends always try to persuade her to take a break, she couldn’t afford to rest now.

It was only a few weeks ago when the Traveler had came to Mondstadt and told them the devastating news about the Creator, or rather who they thought was the Creator. Although everyone took the news hard, especially a certain bard, there was no time to grieve. The real Creator could walk through the gates any second and Jean wants to be prepared for the moment.

A knock on the door breaks her concentration as Lisa enter a frown on her lips. “You’ve been in here all day,” she says softly, “aren’t you going to take a break?”

Jean yawns rubbing her eyes, “I can’t take a break now Lisa.”

The librarian puts her hands on her hips, “yeah, yeah I know. Their Grace could arrive any minute now and you want to be prepared.”

Jean nods as Lisa sighs.

“But do you really want to meet Their Grace like this? You look tired and overworked.”

Jean opens her mouth to rebuttal her friends words when the door shoots open again. It was Amber, her hands were on her knees as she was breathing heavily.

“Their Grace is here.”

-

Once you entered Mondstadt, all eyes were on you. The knights who were patrolling around the city stopped to stare before they began bowing greeting you. Shop owners and other patrons eyes were as big as saucers as they bow to you in respect.

“T-their Grace has returned!”

“And they came to Mondstadt first! This surely means that this is their favorite nation, no?”

Excited murmurs filled the streets but the first to approach you was a man with red hair, it was tied into a low ponytail and the hair that fell in front of his face blew in the wind as his bowed before you.

“Your Grace,” he says his gaze on the ground, “my name is Diluc, welcome to Mondstadt.”

You smile using your hand to gesture for him to stand up straight. He follows your orders quickly, fixing his posture as his gaze meets yours.

“Mondstadt is as beautiful as ever.” You praise.

A smile grows on Dilucs face his cheek turning red as he clears his throat, “thank you for complimenting my homeland. Praise from you is the greatest blessing.”

“Oh there you are Master Diluc!” A voice calls out, “how about I sing in your tavern for a free bottle of Dandelion win-“

A man, or a bard based on how he dressed approached the two of you. The large smile that was once on his face is replaced with a look of shock as he looks at you.

“Y-your Grace…?”

The bard is frozen in place as he continues to stare, even after Diluc began to whisper-yell at him for not bowing to you.

He fixes his face as he smiles warmly at you, “Y-your Grace, Welcome to Mondstadt! My name is Venti! Venti the Bard!”

You raise your brow. “Venti the bard?”

You wouldn’t be the Creator if you couldn’t immediately tell who was an Archon or not, and looking at this supposed bard…

You knew that it was Barbatos and you knew he knew that as well.

“Ehe! Yep that’s me! The traveler told us all about your triumphs in Sumeru City. I believe something that great is worthy of a song, don’t you?”

You laugh at his words, even after all this time the Anemo Archon was as lively as ever.

“Your Grace welcome to Mondstadt, I apologize for our rude welcoming.” A group of four were approaching you, the blonde woman leading.

“I am Jean, the Acting Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius.” She looks over at the three standing near her, “This is our head librarian Lisa, our outrider Amber, and our chief alchemist Albedo.”

All of them greet you but you couldn’t help but notice that the one named Albedo never tore his intense gaze off your body.

“I see that you already met Master Diluc and Venti.”

You nod, “yes and you have no reason to apologize for the welcoming. My visit was out of the blue anyway.”

She raises a hand shaking her head, “you are always welcome in Mondstadt Your Grace, please allow me to show you around.” Jean smiles holding out her hand that you gladly take, Albedo and Lisa follow closely behind you two.

Once you had made it to the KoF headquarters, there were more knights waiting to greet you. The calvary captain named Kaeya left an everlasting impression with his sweet words, he was also the only one to kiss the back of your hand when he greeted you. Klee, the youngest in the knights immediately ran up to you hugging you tightly, the other knights try to tell her not to do that since it was rude but you said it was okay.

She asked if you wanted to go fish blasting with her, whatever that was.

Noelle was also so sweet, the maid had offered to do anything you needed even if it sounded like an inconvenience. ‘Nothing is an inconvenience for me, especially when it comes to you.’ She would say. While the sheepish Sucrose couldn’t even meet your gaze without her face turning completely red, she only managed to get the greeting past her lips since Albedo was there to guide her.

Like Keaya, Lisa was a natural flirt, she was constantly complimenting your looks saying how the imposter could never match the true beauty that you possess.

Then there was Rosaria, one of the nuns from the Chruch of Favonius. You had encountered her when you saw Barbara begging her to join in the festivities for your arrival. Once you had approached the two girls the shorter one immediately bows babbling about how happy she is to have you here. Rosaria on the other hand, asks if you are enjoying your time in Mondstadt. She also states that if you’re ever in trouble, she’ll help you. It seems that she shows her devotion to you in a more casual way than others.

Once you had met everyone, Diluc invited you to come to Angels Share, a tavern that he owned within the city. The tavern was what you expected, but what was surprising was seeing Diluc behind the bar his hair pulled into a high ponytail.

“Your Grace,” he smiles, sitting down the glass he was drying before you walked in. You sit down on the barstool across from him.

“Would you like some wine?”

You nod and Diluc turns around looking at the varieties of wine he had before reach of a particular one, he opens it pouring it in a glass.

“Here you are your Grace.”

The tavern door open again.

“Make that three glasses actually!”

Kaeya and Venti approach the bar sitting in the empty barstools next to you. Venti sits on your left, Kaeya on your right.

Diluc sighs, “do you have any mora?”

Venti pouts and Kaeya laughs a bit. “Aww c’mon don’t be like that, the Creator is here and we are celebrating.”

The redhead rolls his eyes, “we are celebrating but only Their Grace is drinking on the house.”

You smile bringing the glass to your lips as they continue their banter.

“Oh? You must be trying to win their favor by allowing them to drink for free? And everyone thought it was going to be me trying to win their attention.”

Diluc’s face grows red at Kaeya’s words, “t-that’s not it! I’m just showing them proper hospitality.”

You chuckle setting down the glass wiping your face a bit, “your wine is absolutely lovely Diluc, I see why everyone loves it.”

His face gets even darker as he nods, “I’m glad you like it your Grace. If you ever want any more, please let me know.” He ignores the two sitting near you as they continue to tease.

LIYUE

The second you had stepped into Liyue, Xiao was by your side, you weren’t sure how he knew when you’d be arriving but you decided not to question it.

“Your Grace,” the Adepti is kneeling by your feet keeping his gaze on the ground, “you’ve returned.”

“Please stand for me Xiao.”

He immediately raises to his feet meeting your gaze, “are you heading to Liyue Harbor?”

You nod, you never got to step in Liyue Harbor the last time you were in the nation of contracts, being abruptly interrupted by the Fatui had thrown you off your original plan.

“Is it alright if I walk with you?” He asks softly.

It was clear he didn’t want to be a burden on you but you had a feeling that even if you said no he would follow just to make sure nothing bad happened to you while traveling.

“Sure I don’t mind the company.” Xiao’s face brightens at your words as he moves to walk by your side.

The walk with the Yaksha was peaceful, he wasn’t much of a conversationalist but you could tell that he enjoyed being at your side. Once you had gotten to the path leading to the bridge of the harbor, Xiao’s steps faltered.

“Is something wrong?” You turn to face him noticing a conflicted look on his face.

“Thank you for allowing me to walk with you Your Grace but I should return to my duties.”

You furrow you brows, “you’re not coming in with me?”

He lets out a breath closing his eyes as he shakes his head, “I shouldn’t….”

You weren’t sure why he wouldn’t enter the city with you but you didn’t want to force him to do anything he didn’t want. You give him a small smile bidding farewell, before he disappeared into the air he repeats what he said to you last time.

‘If you ever need anything or ever find yourself in trouble, just call out my name.’

-

Zhongli was at the funeral parlor when word hit that you had entered the city, he could feel his heart ache. All he wanted to do was greet you but he had to go about it strategically, if he doesn’t, he could easily reveal himself as the Geo or rather the former Geo Archon.

He gives his eccentric boss some random excuse to leave for a moment and she tells him to hurry back so they can think of new deals in honor of the Creators arrival.

After roaming the city for a moment, you had finally came into view talking to Ganyu. He fixes his tailcoat before walking over his hands laced behind his back.

“Your Grace, I see you have made it to the Harbor.”

Your eyes leave Ganyu to stare up at the man.

“Morax?”

He feels his heart swell, of course his God would recognize him no matter what form he takes.

“Actually it’s Zhongli now.”

Your eyes widen, so Morax had stepped down from his duties as an Archon? You expect something like that from Barbatos but from Morax? Never. You give him a smile, “I see, so Zhongli… it’s nice to see you again.”

Zhongli wanted to keep talking to you, to express just how much he missed you while you were gone. To apologize for worshiping another, he is your oldest devotee if anyone should’ve recognized something was wrong, it should’ve been him.

But all he does is smile as he bows to you, .”your presence has been missed Your Grace.”

Ganyu who was watching you interact with the man, suddenly excuses herself saying that she is needed back in the Jade Chamber to finish the preparations for your arrival. Even though you express that nothing extravagant needs to be done, she explains that Ningguang had been preparing this since the Traveler announced the news of the imposter.

“I wish that I could’ve shown you around the Harbor your Grace but I know that Rex Lap- er Zhongli will do a wonderful job as well.”

Once Ganyu was gone Zhongli offers you his hand, he guides you around the Harbor showing you all of the shops that truly makes Liyue what it is. He also points out all the statues and offerings people had left you, there were many stacks of letters, expensive items, and even books left around all your statues. You made a mental note that you would come back for them all later.

Zhongli also introduced you to Madame Ping who also seemed really happy to see you even offering if you’d like to drink tea with her once you’re free that you happily agreed to. She also mentioned about inviting some old friends, you have a feeling on who that may be.

Speaking of old friends, the other Adepti had made the trip down to the Harbor to meet you. They haven’t been in the Harbor since Osial was released by a Harbinger. Liyue Harbor is where mortals resided and while they will protect it with their life, they rather not spend their time here. Unless you were there then they don’t mind bending their own boundaries a bit.

After spending most of your day with Zhongli, night soon came and Ganyu came back. She escorts you to the Jade Chamber to meet Ningguang and to see what they have planned for you. Zhongli goes back to the funeral parlor expecting to be chewed out by Hu Tao for being gone longer than he expected.

Once in the Jade Chamber Ningguang immediately begins showering you with gifts, many of them jewls and clothing. She even had and array of Liyue specialties made just for you.

Yelan was also at the Jade Chamber, she asked you about your time in Snezhnaya but you decided to keep it vague. Whether that was to keep her in ignorance or because you didn’t want to relive it is unclear.

“Your Grace, would you come outside with me?” Ningguang speaks to you in a soft voice as she leads you to the front of the Chamber. The stars in the sky were shining brightly, you could even see Celestia more clearer from this height.

“It’s very beautiful up here but I actually brought you out here for another reason.”

Soon enough l fireworks began going off in the sky with many different shapes and bright colors. You could see many adults in children in Liyue stare at the sky in amazement which only warmed your heart even more.

“I apologize Your Grace this is all I could do last minute, but I have some more thing planned for you tomorrow.”

You give Ningguang a small grin, “this is already wonderful, I can only imagine what you have planned for tomorrow.”

Ningguang feels her face grow hot as she looks back up at the sky. Ganyu, Keqing, and Yelan could only smile knowing that this surely had a lasting impact on you. If you decide to take permanent residence in one of the nations, they hope that it’s theirs.

INAZUMA

You had managed to get aboard a ship named the Crux lead by captain Beidou with the help of the Traveler. She had welcomed you enthusiastically exclaiming how she was honored that the Creator wanted to board her ship.

Beidou and her crew weren’t the only ones excited to have you on board. Kazuha, who had introduced himself as a wandering samurai and a poet, also expressed his gratitude that he could meet you face to face.

Beidou cuts him off by ruffling his hair saying how he was just being humble. She tells you how Kazuha had managed to stop a killing blow from the Raiden Shogun and also managed to activate two visions at once. Normally Kazuha would brush off any form of praise with a small smile and a thank you, but seeing your surprised face and hearing you praise his talents made his face grow unbelievably red. Beidou laughs at her friends uncharacteristic behavior patting his shoulder.

The trip was unexpectedly calm, Lumine had told you of the constant storm that had surrounded Inazuma but it seemed to have finally dissipated. Once Beidou had anchored the ship in Ritou, there was only one person waiting on the dock who immediately jumped off one of the crates walking towards the ship.

“Kazuha? Beidou? I wasn’t expecting you two to return so soon!”

Kazuha laughs lightly, “Hello Thoma, we weren’t expecting to be back so early either but we had an unexpected guest.”

Thomas eyes perk up at the mention of the guest, “oh! Is it the Traveler? I’ve been wondering when they would return.”

Beidou chuckles, “no we got someone way more renowned than Lumine.”

Once you are on the dock, Thomas face immediately brightens. “Your Grace! I had no idea you were coming to Inazuma!”

“My arrival is unexpected, you’re the first person to know besides these two.”

His face brightens even more.

“Your Grace if you allow me I would love to escort you to Inazuma City. I know that everyone is dying to see you!”

Thomas personality felt like a breath of fresh air as you agree to let him guide you out of Ritou to Inazuma city. Beidou and Kazuha bid their farewell saying that if you need a ride to any of the other nations they’ll come back to get you, the two board the ship and it sails off.

The guards who were preventing outsiders from entering the City quickly move out of the way once they see your face not bothering to ask for any type of paperwork. If they did, they knew that the Shogun would have them dealt with.

It was about an hour after you arrived to Inazuma City when Ei had finally got the news. Kujou Sara came rushing and the Raiden Shogun, the puppet, asked her to state her business. As soon as she mentioned that you were in the City, Ei immediately left the Plane Of Euthymia.

She feels horrible that she wasn’t the first to greet you once you had entered the city but there’s nothing she can do about it now. All she can do is find you now and ask for forgiveness.

Would you forgive her? She wonders.

She wasn’t there to greet you and there’s no doubt that someone had told you what she had done to her nation. She feels a bitter taste enter in her mouth which she despises. She doesn’t want you to be angry at her, she’ll do anything to earn your forgiveness. Her sister Makoto always told her how amazing and forgiving you were so hopefully that hasn’t changed.

When Ei finally found you, you were at the Komore Teahouse, she burst through the doors trying her best to keep her composure as she follows the sound of noose coming from room one.

And there you are, in all your glory.

Ayaka and Ayato who sat next to you quickly stop talking as they stare at their Archon who stood at the threshold. Thoma, who sat across from the three of you, quickly look down at the table.

You sit down your teacup clearing your throat as you look at her.

“Ei? Is that you?”

She immediately falls onto her knees looking down at the floor, “yes it’s me Your Grace. Please forgive me.”

You glance at the siblings before standing walking towards Ei, her long braid spilled onto the floor as she kneeled before you.

“Forgive you? For what?”

She looks up her watery eyes meeting yours, “for everything…”

You decided it would be best to leave with the Electro Archon, it was already awkward the second she entered the room but you doubt that she’ll leave this teahouse without you.

Ei was quiet as she followed behind you in Inazuma city, everyone you past mouth are agape as they mutter that the Raiden Shogun has showed her face in the city again but this time with the Creator.

You notice how Ei’s face lights up once you near a dango stand, you stop asking the shopkeeper for two and he hands them to you with a large grin on his face saying they’re on the house. (luckily cuz its not like you have mora, where’s Diluc, Ningguang, and Pantalone when you need them?)

At first Ei declines the sweet treat saying that she shouldn’t indulge herself but with a few reassuring words from you, she quickly takes the sweet treat eating it.

Ei enjoyed the time she had spent with you and if you were to stay in Inazuma for good, she would never return into her puppet again. Being here with you felt like the eternity she was striving for, maybe if she begged you to stay here with her, you would consider it?

She decides against it as she watches you leave to see her other islands. She wants to go with you but she knows she must think of a way to properly apologize to you, she had to go talk to her dear friend at the Grand Narukami Shrine.

-

You decided to take some time to yourself on the outskirts of the city resting in the warm sand. Word of your arrival spread quickly and there was no doubt that everyone would be making their way here to see you soon so you just wanted to relax for a bit. You could hear children screaming in the distance as they played, you weren’t sure what they were playing but it sounded like they were having fun.

However your alone time didn’t last long. Many footsteps could be heard approaching from behind you , it sound like three maybe four people? But what really caught your attention was the loud voice that followed.

“Pfft… I might’ve lost this time but next time I’ll definitely win!”

You hear the others agreeing with the statement which causes you to turn around.

It was an Oni, you didn’t even know they were still around anymore.

The Oni notices you staring and his face brightens as he approaches you. “Hello stranger! I’ve never seen you around here before, my name is Arataki "The One and Oni" Itto! Leader of the Arataki Gang!”

He was definitely more lively than anyone else you’ve meet recently and that made you giggle a bit. You stand up from the warm sand a grin one your face, did he even recognize you? He approached you so casually as if you were just another Inazuma citizen.

“The Arataki Gang?” You say in between giggles.

Once Itto confirms that you’re not going to throw any beans at him he gets even closer, “You haven’t heard of the Arataki Gang before? No problem, from today on, we are now acquainted. We are the Arataki Gang of Hanamizaka! Who might you be?”

You introduce yourself by name not mentioning anything about your status, what could you say? You want to see how far this will go.

Talking with Itto was like a breath a fresh air, after everything you’ve been through, this was the exact break you needed. You couldn’t even remember the last time you’ve laughed this much.

What you learned quickly is the Itto was very competitive when he challenged you to a Onikabuto battle, the rules were simple. Find a beetle and the two will battle until one of them flips. Itto warns you that the he’s been training his Onikabuto for days but that doesn’t stop him from helping you find a worthy opponent.

With the help of his gang that battle commences. You watch the two bugs battle quietly while Itto begins chanting for his to win.

After a few moments his beetle is flipped onto his back.

“I win!” You exclaim.

Itto runs his comb through his hair, “pssh… good job new friend! But that was definitely beginners luck! How about another round?”

“There you are Boss, I’ve been searching everywhere for you.” A woman with green hair and a mask begins walking towards the group.

“Shinobu!” Itto says boisterously, “I was just having a Onikabuto Battle with my new friend here!”

Shinobu sighs, “I’m sorry if my boss had caused you any troubl-“

Suddenly she stops talking as she stares at your face, if her mouth wasn’t covered her jaw might’ve hit the floor with his wide her eyes were.

“Erm Shinobu?” Itto snaps his fingers.

“Why didn’t you say you were with the Creator!” The girl practically screams as she gets closer, “Your Grace I am honored to meet you! I’m sorry for any trouble Itto might’ve caused you.”

You grin, “he hasn’t caused any trouble at all! I’ve had so much fun!”

Itto watches the two of you a puzzled look on his face. “Wait wait wait…. What do you mean Creator?”

Shinobu looks over at her Boss, “don’t you remember me telling you that the Creator was in Inazuma?”

He laughs, “Of course I remember! Why wouldn’t I remember something like that?”

She lets out a sigh face palming, “are you telling me that you’ve been hanging with Their Grace this whole time and didn’t recognize them?”

Itto laughs again but it comes out more awkwardly as he looks to the side.

“None of you recognized them?”

The rest of the gang also look off to the side.

You laugh causing everyone to look over at you, “thank you for teaching me this game Itto! I’ve had lots of fun with you today.”

Now knowing who you are, your words makes Itto grow a bit sheepish as he brushes his comb through his hair once more, “Pfft, of course Your Grace I’ll teach you all other games I know and trust me it’s a lot! Haha! Although I should apologize how the Arataki Gang approached you,that was rude of us!” The rest of the gang murmur in agreement.

“Now how ‘bout that round two? Though I should let you know that I won’t be going easy on you! I’m going to win this time!”

You grin, “well bring it on!”

SUMERU

Nahida was the first to greet you once you had entered Sumeru City, she was surrounded by many scholars and sages from the Akademiya who bowed as they watched you interact with their Archon.

Nahida hold her small hand out to you, “welcome back to Sumeru Your Grace.”

You take the girls hand as she leads you throughout Sumeru City. “I’m glad to back under better circumstances.”

She chuckles, “I’m glad too.”

The city was more decorated than the last time you were here, even though last time you had Dottore knock out all of the citizens so you could confront the imposter. You had a feeling the Nahida might’ve predicted that you were going to show up today, you don’t expect anything less from the God of Wisdom.

As Nahida leads you to the entrance of the Akademiya, you notice two men bickering, or rather one of them getting riled up while the other responds calmly. Once the calmer one notices your presence he turns his attention to you as the other grows more annoyed at his actions.

“Seriously? Now you’re ignoring me?”

The other nudges the man harshly cussing him to stumble a bit but then he quickly takes notice of your presence as well.

“Your Grace, it’s an honor to meet you.”

You soon learn that the calmer one was named Alhaitham, and that the more expressive one was Kaveh. You also learned that the two of them were roommates, although knowing that information was unintentional since Kaveh kept rambling nervously as he tried to apologize for his behavior that you no doubt witnessed.

However the next three you met really solidified that Sumeru had some interesting people that really changed your perspective of how the nation once was. Nahida bad introduced you to the General Mahamatra who was talking to a young girl named Collei and her master Tighnari.

Just like everyone else they were extremely respectful as they introduced themselves to you and welcomed you to their city. Cyno also offered to show you around the desert if you ever desired to go. Collei and Tighnari expressed the same to you about the forest. However after pleasantries were over, Cyno asked you a question that made everyone around you facepalm.

“Your Grace, have you ever played Genius Invokation TCG?”

Tighnari sighs loudly, “are you seriously asking Their Grace about this?”

Collei also sighs as she mutters multiple apologies under her breath.

“I-I’m sorry?” You tilt your head, “Genius Invokation TCG?”

Cyno ignores his friends telling him to be quiet as he begins to explain the premise of the game to you, explaining how people around Teyvat have their own cards within the game and that even you have your own card in the game. (However he doesn’t mention how many cards of you he owns)

“If you ever wish to learn to play, I will teach you. Then we can duel.” His voice was monotonous but his body language gave off just how excited he was about teaching you about this game.

As Nahida leads you away from the trio you could hear Tighnari ask Cyno why he would ask you a question like that. Collei was only happy that he didn’t make any puns in your presence.

Later that night Nahida leaves you alone in a bedroom she had designed specifically for you but you doubt that you were going to get any sleep that night.

A few moments after Nahida left there was a knock at your door, at first you figured it was the God of Wisdom who might’ve forgotten to say something but once you opened the door you were greeted by a new face.

He had purple hair and wore a large hat, if he wasn’t looking directly at you, his hat would’ve obscured his face.

“The Creator of Teyvat.” He drawls out smirking. “I’ve been waiting to speak to you.”

He lets himself into your room as you furrow your brows closing the door turning to face him.

“I want to hate you, you know. I want to hate you because of how much she loved you.” He speaks softly. “All this time I’ve forced myself to hate you but now that I’m right in front of you?” He lets out a laugh, you weren’t even sure if he was talking to you.

“I thought that joining the Fatui would’ve made me hate you but those idiots are just as loyal to you as everyone else.”

So he was previously in the Fatui? That’s odd, no one ever mentioned him.

“What’s your name?” Your words snaps him out of his trance as he looks back at you.

He tells you that he has no name but if you must call him by something you can call him what the Traveler picked.

He calls out your name, your true name. “You’re supposed to be all knowing. What am I supposed to do?”

You let out a breath, as he looks at you expectantly a glimmer hopefulness in his eyes.

The Wanderer holds his breath as he waits for you to respond, after all of the evil deeds he’s done Lumine and Nahida says that he can change but he has no idea where to go about that. All his life his wanted to be of use to someone and every single time he was thrown to the side and betrayed. He wants to know your answer, no he needs it. Ever since he joined the Fatui and learned that the only being he wanted to talk to was a fake, he knew that he would wait. He will wait for you.

“I cannot tell you what to do with your life,” you begin, “following your heart is what everyone does and eventually you find something that feels right.”

He wants to roll his eyes and retort but you quickly interrupt him.

“Even though you do not have a heart like other humans, you left the Fatui and are now repenting for the sins you committed. Doesn’t that feel good?”

He crosses his arms, “what’s that got to do with anything?”

“What I’m trying to say is you should do what feels right. You don’t have a heart but you feel hurt and angry when betrayed so surely you must feel good when you do certain things.”

“And what if I don’t know what that is…?” He says breath barely above a whisper.

“Well you have friends right? They are there to help you, and I am also willing to help you.”

His eyes widen as he turns away from you, “so that’s the way you think? I’m surprised that you can be so optimistic after everything you’ve been through Your Grace.”

For once he didn’t refer to you by your name.

“I’ll let you get some sleep, I will see you tomorrow with Buer.”

He walks past you opening the door, giving you one last glance the door clicks shut behind him. You let out a breath crashing onto your mattress, you doubt that sleep would take you tonight.

The Wanderer on the other hand, was thinking of anyway he could prove himself useful to you then maybe he could stay by your side instead.

SNEZHNAYA

The Tsaritsa never attended any celebrations that the Harbingers threw when they managed to obtain a Gnosis, but since this celebration was for you, she’d be a fool to not make an appearance.

The Fatui had an abundance of money, and once it was revealed you were on your way to Snezhnaya, they had quickly prepared everything for you. The Zapolyarny Palace was decorated in the finest decorations money could buy. Clothing suited for warm weather was designed with you in mind, and chefs prepared the most exquisite dishes in Snezhnaya for you to enjoy.

As the Harbingers were in the middle of preparations for the grand banquet. Spirits ran high and good will was abundant. All of them felt triumphant. The Creator was due to arrive soon , and they were proud to welcome them back to Snezhnaya. The air was only ever this lively after a successful mission in one of the other nations. They ordered their subordinates to set up the hall so that it was polished and pristine, fit their God.

The Damselette, who was sitting at a decorated table with her head down she called, “It is a shame that the Fair Lady couldn’t join us for such an momentous occasion.”

“La Signora’s zealot ambition caused her downfall. She overestimated her own strength and that got her killed in the end.” Pulcinella states.

“Her methods tarnished her honor, she doesn’t have the right to meet Their Grace.” Capitano chimes in.

Arlecchino was always quick to lose her temper, her voice was filled with venom as she glares at her comrades, “Rosalyne died in a foreign land for our cause, she has more right to meet Their Grace unlike you businessmen.”

Pantalone smiles curtly at her, “if you keep acting like that, Their Grace will be able to witness your true self and not the facade that you put on.”

Arlecchino opens her mouth to snap at the Regrator but is cut off by Childe, who stood nearby. “You all can’t help but fight even on the day the Creator is coming?”

It grows silent as they all return to what they were doing, the youngest Harbinger was right. To argue on the day you would be arriving was ludicrous, even more so to bicker once you arrive. The Tsaritsa herself would kill them for doing that.

It wasn’t much longer until you entered the Zapolyarny palace with the Tsaritsa and Pierro at your side. You were wearing the coat that was gifted to you when you first came here which caused Pantalone to smile smugly.

The Harbingers stare at you for a moment, last time you were here they were all still searching the other nations for any presence of you. When they joined you on the boat to confront the imposter, Childe hogged all your attention but now they had the opportunity to talk to you themselves.

But just like last time, Childe was the first to approach you, eyes brighter than ever. “Your Grace, You’ve arrived! How was the trip?”

You smile at the ginger, it was alway hard to see the Fatui as ruthless beings when Childe approaches and talks to you like this. “It was… calm. Just like last time.”

You cross your arms, even with all of the fireplaces around it was still very cold within the palace.

“Oh, are you cold Your Grace?” A voice says sweetly, “I have other coats suited for the cold if you’d prefer those instead.” The Regrator is the next to approach a small smile on his lips as he adjusts his glasses.

You open your mouth to accept his offer when another voice speaks up.

“If none of his coats are to your liking I would be more than happy to escort you to the City and buy you whatever coat you’d like.” Arlecchino says gracefully, although her glare at the two near you contradicted the sweetness in her voice.

“Or I can give you my coat, Your Grace.” Everyone turns to glare at Dottore for his bold suggestion.

You chuckle awkwardly feeling the tension in the room build up, you knew that no matter what choice you made, the others would be angry. (not at you ofc but at each other)

“Thank you for your generosity, but I think I’d rather just go to my room for a while, if that’s alright.”

“Of course that’s alright Your Grace! Would it be alright if I escort you to your room?” Sandrone pipes up still sitting on her Automaton.

Now all eyes are on her and you sigh softly, all you want is to quell the subtle fighting between them but no matter what you say one of them will jump at the opportunity to spend some alone time with you.

A cold hand touches your shoulder and the Tsaritsa finally speaks up. “I’ll take you to your room your Grace, you must be tired.”

You smile at her as she moves her hand onto your lower back, “We have prepared a banquet for you later tonight, I will have one of the Harbingers bring you some clothes if you wish to change.”

The Harbingers all share glances indicating that it was going to be them to bring you the clothes. The Archon leads you down the hall toward your room.

Once they were alone, Pierro let’s out a sigh, “these childish theatrics must cease. Their Grace will be spending the next few days here and they don’t need to see you all fighting all the time. Have some decorum.

The Harbingers roll their eyes dispersing back to their own room, all of them thinking of ways they could steal your attention tonight.

It’s going to be a long night Your Grace.

NOWHERE…? (ABYSS)

You told Lumine that you wanted to reconnect with Teyvat before you showed your face in any nation. The girl seemed surprised at first but understood, her gaze lingered on you as you left her campsite. However, you weren’t alone for long. Once you were out of the Travelers sight, you had felt a strong presence behind you. Last time you didn’t notice it, but this time it was as clear as day, as if they were making no effort to conceal it at all.

“Your Grace.” Just as you expected, it was Aether.

You stop walking turning to gaze at him, “how come you always appear when I’m alone?”

Now that you could see his face more clearly, he did look exactly like Lumine, they both had signature golden hair and eyes. While it seemed that both of them had a friendly nature, he was definitely hiding something beneath the surface.

“Because I don’t want no one to ruin the time I have talking to you.” He says nonchalantly.

“Even your sister?”

Aether’s eyes widened at your response but he quickly fixes his expression as he approached you, “so, she told you.”

“I told her I’d help her find you but that’s not all I know. I’ve heard lots of things about the Abyss, none of them good.”

“Your Grace anything anyone has told you is complete slander, the only goal I have in mind is rebuilding Khaenri’ah back to it’s former glory!”

“So the Abyss doesn’t hate humanity?”

He lets out a defeated sigh, confirming the truth behind your question without even saying anything. Aether reaches out grasping your hand with both of his gloved ones, “I would never do anything to disgrace your world… I promise.”

You had to give him the benefit of the doubt, it’s not like he lied to you up till this point, so why would he lie now? “What did you want to talk about?”

“The first step was defeating the counterfeit that held the throne, but this world still hasn’t been healed completely. Corruption still lurks in every corner.”

A large purple portal opens behind the Prince and a faceless being walks out getting down on one knee bringing a clawed hand to his chest.

“Your Grace…. Your Majesty…” it’s voice croaks.

“Come to the Abyss, Your Grace.” He pleads, “no interruptions this time. Come with me and I will show you everything…”

He stares expectantly at your face as you look at the creature and portal behind him. So this was the Abyss, Yelan had told you all about the danger it possessed and now it was right in front of you. A group that hates humanity, even Aether couldn’t deny that fact. The impropriety vexed you, how could a place exist that devalued the life you had created. You cared for this world immensely, and built it for humanity, but for some reason it felt as if the Abyss was calling out to you.

The void of the portal looks endless. Your eyes focus to catch a glimpse of something more, darker and obscure. The weight of the Princes hands were heavier now... more adamant. Your search was cut short when he gripped your hands, pulling you out of the trance. His gaze never wavered as you opened your pursed lips to respond to his lingering question.

“I’ll go with you.”

He looks satisfied with your answer as he pulls you forward leading you towards the portal.

There was no turning back now, once you walk through this with, you will be within the Abyss. You couldn’t imagine what would be waiting for you once you stepped through, all you had was the word of an outlier who guaranteed your safety.

Aether who seemed to notice your hesitancy laces his fingers with yours giving you a smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t let go.”

You let out a breath closing your eyes tightly as the two of you walk through the portal.

-

-

-

It wasn’t painful. Not that you expected it to be.

You open your eyes and the Prince is staring at you.

“We have arrived, Your Grace.”

The Abyss lurked in the darkest part of Teyvat so it was no surprise that once you took in your surroundings you noticed you were at some unknown place in the Chasm. It wasn’t just the two of you either, there were many creatures just like the one who was bowing to the two of you before. Some of them looked more human-like while others truly resembled monsters. None of them dared to speak though, you could only wonder what the Prince had threatened said to them if you chose to come with him.

“Your Grace I’m so happy you’ve decided to come with me.” Aether breathes out still holding your hand, not like he had any intention of letting go. “Your comfort means everything to me, and I know it looks unsettling right now but I can assure that your comfort has been taken into account.”

He leads you down a path so that the two of you were alone once more.

It was in a secluded spot that was much darker than the area you appeared in, the only thing giving light was the multiple torches stuck into the wall.

“Your Grace, what I’m about to tell you is going to be hard to hear…”

You let out a breath, would it be as hard to hear when you found out Celestia had betrayed you? The look on his face you could tell that he didn’t want to place this burden on you but it had to be done.

“Are you aware of what happened to Khaenri’ah?” He asks.

During your time in Celestia, you learned everything, all catastrophic events that happened on Teyvat was their doing. The Archon War and the destruction of Khaenri’ah were just the tip of the iceberg.

You nod, “Celestia told me it was their doing.”

“But did they tell you how?”

You shake your head, “how they did it? I don’t understand.”

“Celestia might’ve had a hand in getting rid of the nation, but it wasn’t the one who did it.”

You tilt your head curiously at the blonde, “who did it then?”

He sighs holding your hand a bit tighter to ease you into the bomb he was about to drop on you.

“You weren’t here and Celestia wasn’t the only one who missed you. So the Archons and Celestia concocted a plan to bring you back, and since Khaenri’ah was more quiet about their worship outsiders believed they weren’t devoted to you.”

You felt your heart sink as a bitter taste enters your mouth, “are you saying that the Archons had a hand in this as well?”

Aether continues, “the people of Khaenri’ah were deemed sinners, especially pure blooded ones. People believed it was their sins that made you not want to return, so under Celestia, the Archons attack Khaenri’ah destroying almost everything and killing everyone.”

You felt sick, you didn’t want to hear this, this ache in your chest was unbearable. Were you betrayed again? Something you poured your whole heart into stabbed you in the back for their own selfish desires? This was too much to bear.

You pull your hand out of his stumbling away to sit on a nearby rock, Aether followed kneeling next to you placing a hand on your back.

“I know this is hard for you,” he rubs your back frowning, “should I continue?”

You nod not trusting your voice to answer him, a lump in your throat was forming and it felt that if you were to try and speak, you would burst into tears.

“The remaining survivors of the attack turned into monsters… the monsters you see roaming around Teyvat are what remains of the nation. However for the pure blooded Khaenrians, they were cursed with immortality. Now they roam Teyvat forever…”

You bring your hands up running them through the roots of your hair, Aether had to be lying, there is no way something that terrible would happen without your knowledge. How could you be so ignorant to the suffering of your own people?

Aether keeps rubbing your back, “the plan didn’t work, you never returned so Celestia went for more drastic measures and made an Imposter to trick the Archons into thinking it worked, but at the same time, it was their last ditch effort to get you to return.”

You finally manage to speak, the words came out soft and raspy but still clear enough for him to understand.

“How do you know all this?”

The Prince says nothing, maybe he was ignoring you or maybe he was too concerned about your comfort to respond.

Khaenri’ah wasn’t just forced to watch their home burn by the hands of the Archons and Celestia but they were forced to stay and watch as their home became lost to history. You didn’t want to believe it, the monsters were once people and others were cursed with immortality it felt like something out of a fantasy novel.

But… those eyes…

You couldn’t help but recall your time in Snezhnaya. Pierro… his eyes. You knew they seemed familiar but it didn’t click to you then.

Now it was painfully clear.

He was from Khaenri’ah and he was one of the cursed ones. Why didn’t he tell you? Was it because you were focused on the Imposter? Did he not want to burden you with more problems?

You could remember the way his eyes had lingered on the flower you had. He must’ve recognized it.

You reach into your pocket pulling the flower out, it didn’t look as beautiful as it did when Aether first gave it to you, it was starting to wilt.

“You kept it.” You hear the Prince murmur next to you.

You turn to face him and he immediately pulls his hand off you. “Your Grace I know there is a way we can bring Khaenri’ah back. I’ve even seen these monsters gain back their consciousness, the only missing piece is you.”

Suddenly you bring your hand up to his cheek causing him to stiffen for a moment before leaning into your touch his face turning pink.

Your touch was better than he could ever describe, it was warm and comforting he hadn’t felt this warm since his days in the forgotten nation or maybe even when he still traveled with his sister. He wanted to keep this feeling forever and never let it go.

“Aether…” you breathe out. “It feels as if you’re the only one I can trust.”

He smiles, hearing you say his name was exhilarating.

“You can always trust me Your Grace. I will never deceive you.”

The hand that you had on his cheek is now trapped by his own, he didn’t want you to pull away. Not yet.

“I will help you, Khaenri’ah will be restored and Celestia will pay for it’s sins.”

His smile turns into a full blown grin, “Your Grace I am honored that I am able to work with you.”

-

-

Note: I am so sorry for the looonnnngggg wait for this part but I am super happy how the ending came out. Now I will focus on the asks in my inbox so if you were on of the lovely anons that left a request, trust me, I didn’t forget about you! Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this I luv you!

Taglist: @esthelily @the-dumber-scaramouche @grimreapersscythe @seawater-aurelia-writing @probablynoposts @genshin-impacts-me @itsredactedlove @chidouna @thedevioussmirk @hoo-hoo @chaoticfivesworld @akemiixx01 @lunarapple @nowords-onlybreathing @fangirlinindia @veyu002 @blackcoffex @kaveh-is-pretty @ariasdream @averycuriousperson @bloopthebat @chuuya-brainrot @crazydreamcat @sparklyphantom @multistanbee @bluebelony @mokakoto @mega-trash-cringe CLOSED

#genshin cult au #sagau #genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #imposter sagau #sagau impostor au #sagau x reader #genshin cult

[fictionkinfessions]

What's really wild is that you have to accept that some people will know themselves just as well as you know yourself and have 200+ kintypes. some people will have 10 kintypes. Many will have 1 or thereabouts. I have only been awakened to my fictionkin nature for ten years, and have 6, as far as I know (though, perhaps less or more. im doing some Thinking.)

You must accept that some kin folk will say the origin of their kin nature is spiritual and comes from the shape of their soul, or a sharded fragment of another entity, or perhaps from some sort of reincarnation even. Accept also that some kin folk will say the origin for them is instead found only within the human mind.

These groups overlap, easily and often. They can have identical experiences, from phantom limbs to shifts to memories to noemata - and you will find you cannot truly tell one from the other without simply asking. And none is more foolish than the one who tries to claim one is more correct than the other.

You must accept this. You must explore the things you don't understand, or wilt in an ill-drained pot with stale soil.

To be fictionkin, we must at least try to extend ourselves out to accept many things we are not invited to by our world. That is a beautiful thing. But, what can not be accepted, what I REFUSE to accept. is. that. i am in fuuuucking danganronpa!!!!!!! COME ON!!!! NO!

*rolls around on the ground throwing a fit and kicking my feet* I WONT

.

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #multikin issue #community issue #mod party cat #pinned posts

[gatheringbones]

[“When I first came out as a lesbian in 1971, identity politics were so pervasive that this modality didn’t even have a name; it was simply the sea in which every queer sank or swam. One of the key assumptions of identity politics is that we can reveal in one grand social drama of coming out the absolute inner core of truth that makes up one’s “real self.” Coming out is seen as a process like peeling away the layers of an onion or the petals of an artichoke. Identity politics also assumes that your political allies will have to be people who share your identity because nobody else could understand your oppression or really be committed to fighting it; that people who share some aspects of your sexuality but not others are either afraid to come out or traitors to the cause; that it’s not possible for someone to change the way they label themselves without being dishonest or cowardly.

Now I see queer politics quite differently. I know from personal experience that I can’t trust somebody just because their sexual preferences or their gender identity resembles my own. I know we can make allies who are indignant about injustice even if it does not impinge directly upon their own lives. I see coming out as a lifelong process that proceeds as I become ready to understand and accept aspects of myself which bear lessons I need to learn at different points in my life. Each new coming out does not recreate me as a whole new person; I think some people view it this way, but this is crazy-making and too compartmentalized for me. It’s more like being able to see each and every spoke of the wheel that makes up my being, or like opening up and furnishing another new room of my soul.

I wonder what coming out would be like if we were not forced into these defensive positions of tribal loyalty and us-them thinking. What if we could say to a friend who was embarking on a new coming out, “I love you, and so I must also love this new aspect of yourself. Because I care about you I want to know more about it. Let’s both learn from this.” Instead, what usually happens is a great deal of indignation, betrayal, and rejection. I think this is because a person who is coming out threatens the identities of former acquaintances, partners, and coworkers. If someone else’s identity can be fluid or change radically, it threatens the boundaries around our own sense of self. And if someone can flout group norms enough to apply for membership in another group, we often feel so devalued that we hurry to excommunicate that person. This speaks to our own discomfort with the group rules. The message is: I have put up with this crap for the sake of group membership, and if you won’t continue to do the same thing, you have to be punished.

We seem to have forgotten that the coming-out process is brought into being by stigma. Without sexual oppression, coming out would be an entirely different process. In its present form, coming out is reactive. While it is brave and good to say “No” to the Judeo-Christian “Thou Shalt Nots,” we have allowed our imaginations to be drawn and quartered by puritans. I believe that most of the divisions between human sexual preferences and gender identities are artificial. We will never know how diverse or complex our needs in these realms might be until we are free of the threat of the thrown rock, prison cell, lost job, name-calling, shunning, and forced psychiatric “treatment.”

I do not think human beings were meant to live in hostile, fragmented enemy camps, forever divided by suspicion and prejudice. If coming out has not taught us enough compassion to see past these divisions, and at least catch a vague glimpse of a more unified world, what is the use of coming out at all? I have told this story, not to say that anybody else should follow me or imitate me, but to encourage everyone to keep an open mind and an open heart when change occurs. The person who needs tolerance and compassion during a major transformation may be your best friend, your lover, or your very self. Bright blessings to you on the difficult and amazing path of life.”]

patrick califa, from layers of the onion, spokes of the wheel, from a woman like that: lesbian and bisexual writers tell their coming out stories, 2000

#pat califa #bi literature #lesbian literature #trans literature #history stuff

[shinobuily]

“Some children are just simply born with tragedy in their blood.”

Megumi knew this ever since he was little. The day Gojo took him in, he knew his fate. He couldn’t explain the feeling, but it was as if the weight of tragedy flowed through his veins, an inheritance he couldn’t deny.

Flashback

“We need another plan Yuji and fast we’re running out of options.” Megumi yelled pacing back and fourth endlessly replaying the worst possible scenarios in his mind. He didn’t realize he was totally out of it until he was on the ground, pupils dilated, skin as pale as a ghost with Yuji screaming in front of him.

“Megumi? Please Megumi can you hear me? I’ll explain the plan on the way there. Get up please.” I could hear the desperation his voice. I needed to be strong.

“The quicker we act on this, the greater the chance of success. I believe we can rescue your sister.” Yuji said standing up and offering his hand

“Okay.” Megumi said taking, his hand pulling him up.

“We’ll get through this Megumi. Now, let’s go.”

End of flashback

Yuji's counterattack proved valiant, yet Kenjaku surpassed even his best efforts. Yuji could only lie amidst his own pooling blood, a silent witness as Sukuna commandeered his closest friend's body. 'Pathetic,' he thought bitterly, and soon his world went black.

Megumi’s POV

As Sukuna's presence enveloped me, a suffocating dread settled deep within my chest, crushing me beneath its weight. My limbs, once under my command, now moved at the whim of the cursed spirit, a cruel reminder honestly.

In those moments, my mind became a battleground, torn between the horror of Sukuna's actions and the futile desire to reclaim control. Each movement he made, each life he extinguished, sent shards of despair piercing through my shattered soul. It was as if I were a mere bystander in my own body, forced to witness the atrocities committed in my name.

The anguish was unbearable, a relentless onslaught that threatened to consume me whole. Amidst the chaos, a sense of profound loss washed over me, mourning not only for the lives taken but for the fragments of my own humanity slipping away with each passing moment.

I wanted to scream, to fight back against the darkness threatening to swallow me whole, but my voice remained trapped within the confines of my mind, a silent plea drowned out by the sound of Sukuna's laughter.

And as I watched the world through Sukuna's eyes, a hollow ache settled in the pit of my stomach, a bitter reminder of the innocence lost and the inevitable descent into darkness that awaited me.

It appears my conscience spoke true. The day of my birth heralded not joy, but an unyielding fate, sealing my existence. Now, at this moment I knew, I was a child doomed from the very start.

#anime #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro #jjk #jjk x reader #angst no happy ending #jjk angst #x reader #x yn #jujutsu kaisen #mention of death

[thesherrinfordfacility]

Hi! I'm kinda here to ask for clarification on something you said; hope you won't mind^. You say that Crowley's dark grey comment is one of the more honest and introspective things he says: that kinda comes across to me like you saying that Crowley's saying he's mostly bad with a capacity for good* and that's a fair assessment of him. I would have said it's more that he's mostly good with a capacity for bad**, baggages worth of issues and a bunch of flaws, primarily related to arrogance***, but that's technically beside the point: I also felt like that was the direction your character analysis of him was going. I'm now wondering whether I misunderstood the dark grey comment or misunderstood the analyses... what does your exactly mean, exactly?

*Concepts decapitalised because I'm talking about more human than Heavenly or Hellish standards of good and bad.

**Concepts decapitalised: see above.

***Blinkered was the word you used, I believe? It's a lovely expression.

^This isn't meant accusatory and I did my best not to sound like it, but I know you've had to field a few asks about yes, you do like Crowley very much, your criticism of him doesn't mean that's not the case, and I can only imagine how annoying that must be: feel free to can this if it comes across that way.

oh anon sweetheart 💕 don't worry about the tone or wording - your tone is perfectly polite and courteous, and i thank you for that!!! others have not been as conscientious 💀 though, be careful what you wish for in asking this, because it's gonna be lengthy 🫠

how you interpreted it is exactly as i meant it; i do think, when taking crowley's characterisation in the show (his book characterisation, for me, is rather different), crowley for me is a darker character with the capacity for light, rather than the other way around. and im going to specifically use darker and lighter, as opposed to bad and good respectively, because upon reflection, maybe that's more accurate.

yeah, to me, he is a dark character; if you've read any of my other asks/metas, please forgive me for repeating stuff, but imo the narrative tells us that he is more commonly swimming in darker tendencies than light. feel free to skip the next part and scroll to here*, because i will be recounting specific scenarios off the top of my head (going in chronological order):

not really explored fully in the pre-fall scene, because it runs throughout the show as a prominent theme; crowley is either unaware of why he fell (possibly true), or blatantly lies to himself and others about why he fell (equally plausible). his story about it changes, or at best is simply told in fragments... but his overall demeanour of when (e.g.) he's confronted with news of the apocalypse ("why me?"), when coupled with this, suggests a tendency towards blame avoidance, with a hearty dose of chip-on-your-shoulder complex

tempts aziraphale into eating in job; it doesn't really matter whether or not aziraphale ends up liking food and wine or not - he rejects the wine, and crowley immediately changes tack to offer food instead, citing that he can't get drunk on it, and of course he's not tempting him (absolutely is) so it's fine. aziraphale may have been curious about it, and this may be what crowley picks up on, but compare this scene to where aziraphale offers muriel a cupperty, and doesn't push when they refuse drinking it... hmm. (perceived feeder kink or not, crowley's face at the end of this scene screams satisfaction at his corruption)

this one is a little iffy, granted, but adding it anyway - blatantly dismisses aziraphale's concerns about the arrangement (heaven would be rather angry, but nowhere near how hell would retaliate - "they'll destroy you!), and pushes anyway. it's again another case of pushing for what he wants (and yes, true, what aziraphale secretly wants - which crowley detects and capitalises on), dismissing aziraphale's worries that, as we can surmise later on, were not unfounded

lets the french guard be taken off to his death. this is debatable, depending on whether you consider the guard to be a good or bad person in the context of the reign of terror, and deserving of execution as a result, but they could have easily escaped the cell unscathed without unfreezing the guard - ultimately, who are they (yep, including aziraphale here too, he's equally as culpable) to decide if he should die?

in the same vein, sends two watchmen falling to their deaths down a deep pit, and his only remark is, "might have slightly overdone it on the hole..."

(this one is tricky, but it rubbed me up the wrong way on first watch and thereafter so im including it) when morag dies, crowley's handling of the situation only really serves - imo - to rub it in aziraphale's face, when he already feels guilty enough for the both of them. i realise that he had to labour the point to aziraphale, and was just being honest - fair, he has a point! - but it came across as simply unkind and uncharitable... again, towards someone we are assuming he cares deeply about...

this one is in fact going to lean on some interpretation, but i think it's one that is so widely implied in canon that i think it might as well be; something happened to crowley between 1827 and 1862, and within that time, i don't think he was on best terms with aziraphale, given aziraphale's coldness when he arrives in st james' park. so, we could - could - surmise that he just suddenly asks for holy water from aziraphale, something that would be dangerous for them both and seems to exploit their friendship. he doesn't adequately explain why he needs it ("just insurance" is not sufficient at all imo), and taking offence to aziraphale's use of 'fraternising ' then contextually feels a little hypocritical

lies to aziraphale about having experience with a gun, banking on using a miracle if need be - which ultimately puts aziraphale's 'life' on the line, rather than being honest. he may well just want to make aziraphale happy, sure, but aziraphale goes into the bullet catch without all the facts - his face when crowley admits he's never shit (edit: meant to say shot, obviously, but leaving it in for @fabledshadow💕) a gun before says it all, really

when aziraphale saves his life with the photo trick, he doesn't thank him, or acknowledge any kind of gratitude at all, that it saved him from a rather bleak fate at the hands of hell. he may well be insulting aziraphale's skills to dissuade him from a repeat occurrence of the bullet catch (fair!), but he is also insulting the very thing that got him out of danger... and the very thing that aziraphale obviously takes a lot of joy, pleasure, and pride in (and, yk, what crowley was actively encouraging just a few hours previous). it was justified, to a certain extent, but it was... unkind

(the Big One - so let's get it over with) tries to tempt aziraphale into killing a child - antichrist or not - and continues to persuade him into it despite aziraphale evidently being uncomfortable with the prospect. it also indicates how little he knows aziraphale in this respect; regardless of whether it would be the antichrist or not, this is the angel who tried to preserve humanity by offering a sword to pregnant eve, and was ultimately crucial in protecting job's children. even in mesopotamia, you can see how subtley appalled he is with killing children - despite him trying to rationalise it by saying it's the great plan etc. killing a child, id wager, would destroy aziraphale. i digress, but if crowley loves aziraphale as much as he (and the fandom) likes to think by s1, it's rather dark that he would try manipulating aziraphale into doing this in the first place, and return to the suggestion again not once (bandstand) but twice (airfield)

sets up an elaborate trick just to make a point to aziraphale on the use of guns, and then lets innocent humans get arrested on what i would say would be very serious charges in s1 (i mean, let alone firearms offences, arguably it could be charged as attempt murder 💀)

hits anathema and acts in such a way that he probably understands that he equally hit her and she hit him, yet is more preoccupied with fixing the bentley, something he could miracle repaired later on... as opposed to helping her back to her feet and ensuring she was alright. he also is prepared, after all this, to reject offering her a lift, excusing that there's nowhere to put her bike

backhands "clever" with "stupid", because aziraphale is doing something (trying to reach god directly as a last resort) he doesn't think is worthwhile. aziraphale finds out that that is true, but once again, im gonna ring the 'unkind' bell

doesn't tell aziraphale about what went down with gabriel, or how closely hell is keeping an eye on him, or the threat of the BOL, or that he's living in his car, or what happened in heaven/the issue of the second coming. there are loads of other little things too, but he lies by omission, whilst maintaining that he doesn't lie to aziraphale, and routinely keeps information from aziraphale - not only information that would be beneficial to share in the general sense, but information that directly impacts aziraphale, and comprises both of their safeties. has a tendency towards a hero complex that ends up either going wrong/unfulfilled ("i won't leave you on your own" then immediately buggers off to heaven) or attempts to remove aziraphale's agency and dismisses him outright ("i have a suggestion-" "ive got this.")

abandons aziraphale when he is set in doing something that is not only in his very nature to do, but when he does it because he doesn't have all the facts (hides jim). despite his assertion that aziraphale shouldnt do it because jim poses a threat, he then leaves aziraphale to face it alone. it's unknown how soon crowley would have come back to the bookshop if it weren't for the BOL threat - we literally do not know this - and he reluctantly does the apology dance (arguably when he wholeheartedly believes he was in the right) in order to be allowed near aziraphale again. it's also implied that aziraphale always does the dance, whereas crowley doesn't - which suggests to me once again the whole thing about crowley avoiding blame

pushes jim into remembering stuff despite it obviously causing him pain and discomfort - on one hand, sure, he's not certain that gabriel isn't lurking about in there, but he does it again in ep5 when, as far as he's assessed with the whole jump-out-the-window thing (a whole other thing that need addressing), jim is in fact... just jim

plays around with maggie and nina (the both of them do, and they're both at huge fault for this, it's insane) like they're toys, without any regard for their personal thoughts or feelings, as if they have the right to do this

encourages jim to jump out a window!!! okay fine, yes, he fears that gabriel is lurking in there and is doing it as a test, but even he looks somewhat alarmed when jim is clambering over the windowsill - and objectively it's an atrocious thing to do. and ultimately it doesnt exactly prove anything more than what he already knows; if gabriel was chilling in there, and was so committed to the bit to drink hot chocolate, call crowley his friend with a straight face, speak to crowley as such as friend, and generally act the way he does... if gabriel is that good an actor? well, i can't imagine jumping a window would be beneath gabriel to do, to maintain his cover. so to me, crowley realised that what he's asked has crossed a line

and, im sorry, but - kisses aziraphale. now is probably the worst climate imaginable (ie. the "do that again" era) to be discussing my take on the kiss, but my read has largely always been that it was a temptation, and a cruel one at that. it was desperate, and heartbreaking, and i understand why crowley did it - but it was imo a largely cruel and selfish manipulation for aziraphale to betray himself, and stay with him. i love the kiss for what it is and represents, but as a result i just... yeah, im not a "do that again" girlie, because i think aziraphale absolutely recognised the kiss for what it 'was'.

anon, if you have made it this far... im so sorry. it's been helpful to summarise all of it though, so thank you for giving me an opportunity to do so!!✨

*now. the thing is, the vast majority of these incidents, these actions and behaviours (and probably loads besides that ive missed) are not evil. they are not even necessarily bad, not in the classic sense. a lot of them have well-founded explanations, sometimes outright justifications, and it's totally understandable why crowley makes them (even just narratively ie. even without speculating or inferring in any kind of trauma he may have suffered behind the scenes if the story as it currently stands).

id argue, personally, that each one of these is dark in their own way - dark, in the sense that they are morally ambiguous at best, immoral at worst. they might not be bad on their own merit, but arguably it is possible to see them as wrong.

we can absolutely look at crowley and think he is good - and i agree!... to a certain extent. even if you oust a good few of the above examples, there are a few that, imo, if ignored or excused, kind of strays into blatant mollycoddling of the character. crowley absolutely has the capacity for good and right - his objection to the flood, saving job's children, stopping the apocalypse, helping aziraphale many a time, are all prime examples (even if you could argue against each of these which... well, this ask is long enough so another time, maybe) - and i think will ultimately be guided by what he considers to be the right thing to do.

but when i say that his assessment of being "very dark grey", the above is why i think this is him being either extremely honest, or accidentally incredibly insightful about himself. it's not necessarily a dislikeable thing to be - crowley being more dark than light - but given the evidence as i see it, he's aware that he's not a wholly good person, more one that leans towards the objectively immoral than otherwise, giving more weight to when he does do good. and the thing is, he regularly asserts this - being 'bad' - to aziraphale.

in doing so - constantly saying he's not nice, rejecting thanks etc - maybe, actually, it's not as humble or self-effacing as aziraphale, or the fandom, likes to think it is. why shouldn't we consider that crowley might, actually, be a bit of an anti-hero? it doesn't make him any less of an empathetic, likeable, or compelling character - it just simply acknowledges that he may not be as irreproachable or scrupulous character as we might like to think he is!✨

#i will die on this hill #good omens #ask #s1 meta #s2 meta #crowley meta #honestly just all the meta #WHY DOES PROOF READING NOT WORK ON ME WHY CANT I DO IT

[kyliemoon3]

Why I love the Epsilon System (RvB)

I think the epsilon system from the series Red vs Blue is one of the greatest representations of Dissociative Identify Disorder in fiction (Spoliers for the show below). While obviously brought into science fiction, this is a fairly accurate representation of DID despite the fact that I'm not sure the creators did much research into the topic. So church or, the alpha, an ai based off the Director's mind, was tortured until he fractured. These fragments were then harvested by the director so he could have more than one AI unit.

So let's get the inaccuracies out of the way. The show seems to believe there is "the original" and that it is the alpha. The alpha is also as far as I know, an already fully developed mind. With actual DID, it only occurs in childhood as a result of trauma not letting the brain fully form into one cohesive self. So the parts of the brain essentially become more distinct. Honestly however I can see it being argued that the alpha is simply supposed to be the host, and that ai minds are different than human minds. Also Washington calls the disorder an outdated term that stopped being used a decade before the episode came out.

Okay that's it. Almost everything else is surprisingly accurate and now I get to gush about it! First of all, the fact that the entire thing happened because of the trauma the alpha endured is so amazingly accurate and ties both into the representation and the plot in an incredibly satisfying way. The ai fragments themselves are also quite accurate to the roles of DID alters, there is:

- A host, or an alter that is mainly out and in charge (Alpha)

- a factive, or an alter based on a real person (Beta)

- a persecutor, or an alter who attempts to harm the system in a misguided attempt at protection (I'd argue sigma, gamma, and omega)

- A little, or an alter that looks and acts like a child (Theta)

- A trauma holder, or an alter that holds some traumatic memories so the rest don't need to (epsilon)

- A protector, or an alter who keeps the system safe from harm (I'd argue delta)

On top of this beta and theta also represent alters of a different gender and age than the host respectively. And even something like alters dating can be seen through alpha and beta.

When talking with a friend about this he pointed out that eta represents fear and iota represents happiness. With that in mind and the fact we rarely see them, I believe they could act as internal caretakers by helping support the system. With eta supporting because they fear something bad might happen, and iota supporting because they want to spread happiness.

I also believe that both gamma and omega could, with more time, become reformed persecutors with them using their strengths to help the system rather than hinder it in their own way of helping. We already see this with epsilon relying on gamma occasionally when performing tasks. Omega has mostly been cartoonishly evil throughout the series and I think epsilon learning to accept and control omegas rage instead of holding it all back until he snaps would benefit the system.

Most of what we see of what the alpha system could've been if no fragments were taken is shown after all fragments but epsilon was destroyed in an emp blast. Epsilon uses his and the other fragments memories to create memory versions of them, acting just like them and letting them live on.

I love this because in most systems, there is a reason alters exist and they have a purpose that helps the system function in daily life. Epsilon while amazing, is much stronger when he has everyone else with him. He understood that this is what the alpha system should've been, and if he wants to do everything he can, having the other fragments with him is the best way to do it.

I have more to say, but I think I pretty much covered it. Epsilon-church and the other fragments are very well written and I can only hope we get a satisfying conclusion to their story in the next season. I'll also probably make a "why theta is the best ever of all time" post at some point too!

#red vs blue #rvb #rvb church #rvb epsilon #rvb theta #rvb delta #rvb alpha #rvb tex #did #osdd 1b #system

[carionto]

The Ocean's Call

Life on Earth is... hectic these days. Everyone is so busy with all these projects and plans and probabilities and postulations, it's honestly quite bothersome for people like Cintra Valkeim, who just wants to immerse herself in nature. Particularly - the sea!

Ever since graduating from high school, only a few days after the Earth and Humanity "reappeared" in real space and were greeted back by the rest of the Galaxy, she's felt this calling of the deep unknown. Well, not all that unknown these days, practically every millimeter of the ocean floor had been mapped, and with all the vessels and underwater projects to keep the tectonic plates from shattering completely it was as busy below as above, but Cintra still felt like there was something missing, something that we "should" know, but don't.

She chose nautical engineering as her major with a minor in oceanography, as well as extra classes in classic literature when she enrolled at the Old Delhi Institute of Natural Science and Engineering. At first she did well at all her subjects, but only a few months in and she became obsessed over ancient texts, and barely left the library. As her attendance and grades fell and they were about to call her in, she disappeared.

When the university staff obtained the required permissions, they investigated her dorm room and found it filled with printed out copies of hundreds of books, pamphlets, zines, and every other form of text materials surrounding the occult, fantasy stories about the ocean and sea creatures, papers by discredited academics rambling on about ancient civilizations and sunken tomb worlds, and plenty of obscure works even the librarians were surprised they had in their archives.

There was one notebook, however, which detailed a plan to dive into one of the opened up fissures in the Pacific ocean that goes down to the mantle, and a schematic for a complex suit that could, in theory, withstand such enormous pressure using a miniature gravity field generator to create a sort of field of intense gravity right around it as a "shield" of sorts to hold back the water. Fascinating idea in its own right. Some test notes indicated she felt confident about it. And the last entry simply said "They are calling me more and more every day. I am ready now. I must go."

_________________________

Deep below, far below where the tiny nothings ever dare to go, where they can't go, one nothing stands out.

They are meant to be ignored, yet this nothing insists on being seen. On becoming a "something".

The eye is shut, but it can feel the nothing is calling out. It is dying.

Yet it pleads not for life. Rare, but not new. The nothing becoming a dead nothing is irrelevant to the One Who Observes All.

The nothing struggles. A feisty one. It conveys all it knows to a being that knows beyond what nothings can ever know.

Stop.

It holds a fragment of something new. What did it say?

... expired

Death and consequences are irrelevant where knowledge is concerned.

Rise once more. S P E A K !

"You Old Ones are resting, but we saw. We went where a New One was. It saw us. You went with us in your dreams, you saw it too. We took you there and back, but you were asleep. We can take you there again. You can find the New One. You can kill it! Please! Before it finds us..."

... expired again

The one who stared?

Such a brief yet infinite meeting. "New One" the nothing said. No. It is not kin.

Yet to imprint itself onto these nothings so deeply into their minds. This nothing found the marker in its brain.

Curious.

Yes.

This nothing shall become a something.

Rise once more. L E A R N !

#humans are space orcs #humans are space australians #humans are space oddities #humans are deathworlders #humanity fuck yeah #story #scifi #carionto #cthulu #I still don't know what I'm doing #but i'm in a mood #for some mystery and expanding the lore #and now Cthulu has an acolyte

[ndbookstudy]

the power of now, eckhart tolle.

note: i was going to make a q&a type of post, but i just decided to copy paste the chapter questions instead!

chapter one, you are not your mind - the greatest obstacle to enlightenment.

The word enlightenment conjures up the idea of some super-human accomplishment, and the ego likes to keep it that way, but it is simply your natural state of felt oneness with Being. It is a state of connectedness with something immeasurable and indestructible, something that, almost paradoxically, is essentially you and yet is much greater than you. It is finding your true nature beyond name and form. The inability to feel this connectedness gives rise to the illusion of separation, from yourself and from the world around you. You then perceive yourself, consciously or unconsciously, as an isolated fragment. Fear arises, and conflict within and without becomes the norm.

I love the Buddha's simple definition of enlightenment as "the end of suffering." There is nothing superhuman in that, is there? Of course, as a definition, it is incomplete. It only tells you what enlightenment is not: no suffering. But what's left when there is no more suffering? The Buddha is silent on that, and his silence implies that you'll have to find out for yourself. He uses a negative definition so that the mind cannot make it into something to believe in or into a superhuman accomplishment, a goal that is impossible for you to attain. Despite this precaution, the majority of Buddhists still believe that enlightenment is for the Buddha, not for them, at least not in this lifetime.

You used the word Being. Can you explain what you mean by that?

Being is the eternal, ever-present One Life beyond the myriad forms of life that are subject to birth and death. However, Being is not only beyond but also deep within every form as its innermost invisible and indestructible essence. This means that it is accessible to you now as your own deepest self, your true nature. But don't seek to grasp it with your mind. Don't try to understand it. You can know it only when the mind is still. When you are present, when your attention is fully and intensely in the Now, Being can be felt, but it can never be understood mentally. To regain awareness of Being and to abide in that state of "feeling-realization" is enlightenment.

What is the greatest obstacle to experiencing this reality?

Identification with your mind, which causes thought to become compulsive. Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don't realize this because almost everybody is suffering from it, so it is considered normal. This incessant mental noise prevents you from finding that realm of inner stillness that is inseparable from Being. It also creates a false mind-made self that casts a shadow of fear and suffering. We will look at all that in more detail later.

The philosopher Descartes believed that he had found the most fundamental truth when he made his famous statement: "I think, therefore I am." He had, in fact, given expression to the most basic error: to equate thinking with Being and identity with thinking. The compulsive thinker, which means almost everyone, lives in a state of apparent separateness, in an insanely complex world of continuous problems and conflict, a world that reflects the ever-increasing fragmentation of the mind. Enlightenment is a state of wholeness, of being "at one" and therefore at peace. At one with life in its manifested aspect, the world, as well as with your deepest self and life unmanifested - at one with Being. Enlightenment is not only the end of suffering and of continuous conflict within and without, but also the end of the dreadful enslavement to incessant thinking. What an incredible liberation this is!

Identification with your mind creates an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgments, and definitions that blocks all true relationship. It comes between you and yourself, between you and your fellow man and woman, between you and nature, between you and God. It is this screen of thought that creates the illusion of separateness, the illusion that there is you and a totally separate "other." You then forget the essential fact that, underneath the level of physical appearances and separate forms, you are one with all that is. By "forget," I mean that you can no longer feel this oneness as self-evident reality. You may believe it to be true, but you no longer know it to be true. A belief may be comforting. Only through your own experience, however, does it become liberating. Thinking has become a disease. Disease happens when things get out of balance.

For example, there is nothing wrong with cells dividing and multiplying in the body, but when this process continues in disregard of the total organism, cells proliferate and we have disease.

Note: The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive. To put it more accurately, it is not so much that you use your mind wrongly - you usually don't use it at all. It uses you. This is the disease. You believe that you are your mind. This is the delusion. The instrument has taken you over.

I don't quite agree. It is true that I do a lot of aimless thinking, like most people, but I can still choose to use my mind to get and accomplish things, and I do that all the time.

Just because you can solve a crossword puzzle or build an atom bomb doesn't mean that you use your mind. Just as dogs love to chew bones, the mind loves to get its teeth into problems. That's why it does crossword puzzles and builds atom bombs. You have no interest in either. Let me ask you this: can you be free of your mind whenever you want to? Have you found the "off" button?

You mean stop thinking altogether? No, I can't, except maybe for a moment or two.

Then the mind is using you. You are unconsciously identified with it, so you don't even know that you are its slave. It's almost as if you were possessed without knowing it, and so you take the possessing entity to be yourself. The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not the possessing entity -- the thinker. Knowing this enables you to observe the entity. The moment you start watching the thinker, a higher level of consciousness becomes activated.

You then begin to realize that there is a vast realm of intelligence beyond thought, that thought is only a tiny aspect of that intelligence. You also realize that all the things that truly matter - beauty, love, creativity, joy, inner peace - arise from beyond the mind. You begin to awaken.

#non dualism #nondualism #eckhart tolle

[luwupercal]

"within or above the order of magnitude of 10,000 years"

Trauth, K.M.; Hora, S.C.; Guzowski, R.V. (1 November 1993). "Expert judgment on markers to deter inadvertent human intrusion into the Waste Isolation Pilot Plant" / warhammer40k.fandom.com

full transcript and sources under cut.

[ image id: a series of pieced-together screenshots from wikipedia and warhammer 40k's fandom wiki. in totality, they read thus:

We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.

The Imperium of Man, also called simply the Imperium, is a galaxy-spanning, interstellar Human empire, the ultimate authority for the majority of the Human species in the Milky Way Galaxy in the 41st Millennium A.D. It is ruled by the living god who is known as the Emperor of Mankind.

This place is not a place of honor...

It spreads across the whole of what used to be the Himalayan Mountains (now called the Himalazians) of Old Earth and is primarily defended by the Adeptus Custodes, although Space Marine, Collegia Titanica, and Adepta Sororitas forces are also known to protect the massive, city-like complex.

no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here...

Poor, brave Malcador the Hero. He reserved a fragment of his strength for me. It gives me little time to pass final orders to you. If you do as I ask then I shall not wholly die, my spirit at least will survive.

nothing valued is here.

The Astronomican requires the sacrifice of large numbers of psykers daily for it to continue to function, and also for the Emperor to be kept alive on the Golden Throne.

What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us.

He has sat immobile, His body slowly crumbling, within the Golden Throne of Terra for over 10,000 standard years. Although once a living man, His shattered, decaying body can no longer support life, and it is kept intact only by the cybernetic mechanisms of the Golden Throne and a potent mind itself sustained by the daily sacrifice of thousands of lives.

This message is a warning about danger.

Imperium of Man / Imperial Truth / Unification Wars / Great Crusade / Imperial Compliance / Space Marines / Primarch

The danger is in a particular location...

Terra is effectively a globe-straddling temple dedicated to the worship of the Emperor of Mankind.

it increases towards a center...

The heart of the Inner Palace contains the Sanctum Imperialis,

the center of danger is here...

The Imperial Palace is as heavily populated and just as active as any hive city of the Imperium. In fact, it probably has a higher density of population per square kilometre than most hive cities. Billions of adepts from all branches of the Adeptus Terra work in the Imperial Palace complex overseeing the affairs of Mankind.

of a particular size and shape, and

The levels and byways of the Palace can take a lifetime to learn, and only the Adeptus Custodes know them all. From the rails of high balconies are artificial ravines 500 storeys deep, filled with lights and teeming with people. Some of the great domes in the Precinct, especially the Hegemon, are so vast, they contain their own miniature weather systems. Microclimate clouds drift under painted vaults. Rain in the Hegemon is said to be a portent of good fortune.

The Inner Palace is also the seat of the Senatorum Imperialis, the twelve High Lords of Terra, who are charged with divining the Emperor's will and ruling the Imperium in His name.

below us.

The danger is still present, in your time,

1.6. Great Scouring 1.7. Imperial Stagnation 1.8. Era Indomitus

In response to the emerging forces of Chaos throughout the galaxy, the recently resurrected Roboute Guilliman, primarch of the Ultramarines, and now once more the lord commander of the Imperium

as it was in ours.

Unification Wars / Great Crusade / Horus Heresy.

The danger is to the body,

the people forget their duty they are no longer Human

Cults dedicated to flagellation and penance seek to prepare Mankind for the return of the Emperor.

5.2. Gene-Seed 5.3. Implantation of Astartes Organs 5.4. Primaris Gene-Seed and Organs 5.5. Conditioning

and it can kill.

can suffer wounds that would kill a lesser being several times over, and live to fight again. Clad in ancient power armour and wielding the most potent weapons known to man, the Space Marines are terrifying foes and their devotion to the Emperor and the Imperium of Man is unyielding.

it is honourable -- a reward and can be no failure

a Perpetual like the Emperor, one of a strange group of Human mutants who possess the ability to be resurrected

the bleeding wounds he sustained still visible upon his neck and chest.

The form of danger is an emanation of energy.

the awe-inspiring sight of one of the Emperor's own sons,

"the Anathema" for He is the greatest embodiment of universal order in the galaxy today and the most potent foe of Chaos

psychic beacon that is the Astronomican within the Warp.

The danger is unleashed

mortally wounded,

1.2. Rise of the Emperor

Casualties (defenders): High, many xenos species were driven to extinction

Horus was slain,

only if you substantially disturb this place

Things have only been made worse with the birth of the Great Rift or Cicatrix Maledictum in ca. 999.M41.

Age of Strife / Eye of Terror

Aeldari Empire / War in Heaven

This place

Milky Way / or just "the galaxy,"

is best shunned

See Also: Atmospheric Incinerator Torpedo / Virus Bomb / Cyclonic Torpedo

( you have no right to let them live )

and left uninhabited.

end id. ]

pages from en.wikipedia.org used: Long-term nuclear waste warning messages

pages from warhammer40k.fandom.com used: Imperium of Man / Imperial Palace / Golden Throne / Emperor of Mankind / Imperial Truth / Unification Wars / Great Crusade / Imperial Compliance / Space Marines / Primarch / Terra / Horus Heresy / Imperial Cult / Age of Strife / Eye of Terror / Aeldari Empire / War in Heaven (Necron) / Milky Way Galaxy / Exterminatus

#words #warhammer 40k #wh40k #warhammer 40000 #hi #inspired by https://sunny-sideblogging.tumblr.com/post/709111002476789761 #long post / #for old times's sake! #SORRY THE IMAGES ARE SO LQ #theyre uh. screenshots of a google doc LMAO #if it's annoying i'll resize them #just lmk #anyway this could probably be done better #& if you think you can i encourage u #(tag me) #but this is my best shot #its really messy but who givea shit. you know

[dnuoh-xof]

I wish we could actually witness Monsoon's cruelty as described in his Wikia. In fact, I would love a graphic novel/mini comic of the WoD's interaction with each other both on the field and off the field. It'd be nice to see Sundowner have a little chat with Monsoon about his gangster life. Idk, I'm hungry, okay?

Oh, yeah, it certainly would have been nice to have at least been able to see fragments or the entirety of Monsoon's—as well as the rest of the villains and their merry band—backstory, at the very least in the form of something visual, like cutscenes, rather than monologue spews which are only available through audio tapes / codec calls. (Very much a flaw that a lot of the games suffer, but is likely most present within games like Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance and Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain.) Which I understand would have likely costed a little more money to produce, since... animation doesn't simply appear out of thin air. But still.

I agree, entirely. As happy as I am that we even got to see even the slightest, most insignificant interactions between the main villains (I.E. Sam / Sundowner, Sam / Monsoon), it would have been a lot nicer to see them all interact with each other in the same room, unfettered. To see just how well they bounce off of one another, to give them a sense of humanity outside of their occupations / workplace. Given how "well" Sam and Sundowner seemed to click with each other, even if it may have been purely performative. The very same especially being true in the case of Monsoon, who likely needed that humanization the most, given how... fans tend to perceive him.

I remember, I think a year or two ago, someone on Instagram had created a 'fan-made' Monsoon DLC for the base game of MGR:R, the initial post / concept of which was eventually given a like / thumbs up by Platinum Games. Towards which, naturally, the creator of the 'DLC''s concept got a little giddy, because, "Oh my God, Platinum liked this!"

While I'm happy for them, it's just unfortunate that nothing would have likely come out of that interaction, given... the Kojima / Konami situation. Not that Kojima himself had any sort of groundbreaking prowess over the development of MGR:R, but the fact that he holds the cards—all full houses—and Konami / Platinum holds the games, if that makes sense.

Not that fanartists can't 'pick up the slack' where those companies fucked up, of course. This can be said about you, as well, Mx. Monsoon-Artist-of-the-Decade. I feel grateful everyday for the innovative, dedicated minds of Monsoon fans everywhere. ^_^

#text #rambles #ask #miz-orque #metal gear #mgr #metal gear rising #mgrr #metal gear rising revengeance #jetstream sam #samuel rodrigues #mgr sam #sundowner #mgr sundowner #monsoon #mgr monsoon #(But my sentiments remain true: You fed us Monsoon fans well 10 years ago. As well as in 2023. And in 2024. Bless.)

[repurpose-yourself]

Speed Limit

About 50 miles north of Phoenix, Arizona stood a sign. Nothing eye-opening or mind expanding. Just a simple sign. A speed limit sign, telling drivers to keep it at 75 MPH or below. Many dotted the highway, situated on the side of the road in harsh desert climates to the crisp, clean air of the mountains.

While the authorities enforced rules, these signs spoke volumes on various tickets they contributed to.

At 3 o'clock in the morning, a rusty truck pulled off the highway and stopped in the ditch. It was low enough to hide the truck from prying eyes but not too complicated to drive out of. In the distance, a new 75 MPH speed limit sign stood. It replaced an older one riddled with bullet holes.

Inside the cab two men downed their open beers and tossed them on the floor. They slowly emerged from the truck, staying low against the body while walking towards the bed. Carefully the tailgate was lowered and each pulled out a shotgun case. Inside, their favorite firearm and weapon of choice to create some trouble.

"This is payback for throwing Jacob in jail," one of the men remarked, loading his shotgun.

"It was a fucking sign. Our taxes pay for these things!" the other added, readying his weapon too.

"If he would have just kept his head down, Jacob wouldn't have been booked for our little mischief here," the first one said, aiming the gun at the speed limit sign, "The dumb ass was too close to the tailgate and fell over the fucking edge when I accelerated. I wasn't about to go back with the sheriff closing in."

Another shotgun was cocked and loaded, "Yeah, he's a fuck. But he's our fuck, for better or worse. Shame they pinned destruction of public property on him. I mean, I'm glad it wasn't me, since we all have been shooting holes in road signs. But it still sucks it was him."

"Jacob, buddy, I know you're not here right now. But this is for you!"

What the two men didn't realize was Jacob had been there all along. The speed limit sign watched them pull up and get out. Immediately recognizing the former friends, Jacob felt an overwhelming fear consume the printed metal sign.

'Guys! It's me! I'm the sign!' the former person tried to reason, though internally as Jacob had lost all the qualities that made the individual human, 'The sheriff turned me into this fucking sign as punishment! Don't shoot!'

A loud, pronounced bang rang out. A large hole exploded outward at the bottom right of the sign. Jacob howled in pain as bits of the living sign flew through the air and landed on the cold ground. Others simply tore away and hung from the sign.

'Stop!' Jacob cried.

Another shot went straight through the top screw hole, tearing more of the speed limit sign away and causing it to tilt to the right, before turning upside down.

"That hit the spot!" one of the guys exclaimed.

A final gun blast blew the left side of the sign away, spraying more fragments of metal across the ground. By now, Jacob wasn't much of a speed limit sign anymore. The former human resembled a mangled mess of metal. Fearing more destruction, an unexpected relief brought pause to the two friends.

"Fuck! The sheriff!" the other remarked, "We need to leave now!"

They hurried through unloading and concealing their weapons. Dashing to the cab, the two jumped into the truck and sped off, ducking down the moment tires touched the highway. In the distance, lights flickered and a siren wailed. Eventually the sheriff's SUV abruptly halted before the speed limit sign, with the officer jumping out, gun drawn.

But a quick evaluation determined what the sheriff knew all along, the criminals were gone. Instead, he holstered his gun and approached the speed limit sign. His boots stepped on a few of the pieces, smashing them into the ground.

"They certainly did a number on you, Jacob," the sheriff said, kneeling down and picking up one of the larger pieces, "Looks like we'll need another sign."

The sheriff turned away and walked down into the ditch, stepping towards a fence post. He yanked something off and returned with what looked like a night vision trail camera.

"One of your friends will make a good replacement, Jacob," the sheriff said, holding up the camera, "I'm sure we'll have some nice photos to determine who they are."

Tossing the camera into his vehicle, the sheriff returned to Jacob and grabbed the bottom of the living sign. A swift pull was enough to remove the speed limit sign from the metal post it was fixed to.

"Since you're not useful anymore, I might just keep you in my office. I could have you recycled and melted down. But that's no fun. Maybe I can straighten you out and make you into something... like a floor mat to put my boots on or maybe even a cigarette tray," the sheriff said, laughing, "So many possibilities."

Jacob simply groaned internally as the former human was tossed onto the front seat floor boards. In the driver seat, the officer turned over the engine and returned to the highway, eager to make Jacob's former friends pay with their lives...

#inanimate object #inanimate tf #inanimate transformation #revenge tf #unaware tf #nonconsensual tf

[ask-me-about-therapy]

Tom Holland shocked his fans last month when he announced he would take a year-long break from acting to look after his mental health after playing Danny Sullivan in Apple TV’s The Crowded Room. At first, it was difficult to see why — the show, following a young man accused of attempted murder as he reveals his dark past, was hammered in the reviews, and the series didn’t really seem to make a splash.

However, many reviews alluded to a big “twist” in Episode 7. Now that twist is common knowledge: Danny Sullivan is a Host in a Dissociative Identity Disorder system, and the crimes were committed not by him, but by his “alters.” Characters whom viewers thought were Danny’s friends and protectors were actually part of his internal life, and in later episodes, we see them “front,” or present themselves in Danny’s behavior. His accent, posture, and whole personality switches.

This wasn’t much of a twist if you knew where to look. The entire series is loosely based on the real-life case of serial rapist Billy Milligan, who pled insanity due to DID and was found innocent. Daniel Keyes’ book The Minds of Billy Milligan is even credited in the opening sequence, making the late twist a bit less shocking than intended.

What isn’t surprising, however, is how another fictionalized story of Dissociative Identity Disorder is tied with murder. From Dressed to Kill to Split, fictional examples of this disorder are often shown as dangerous, violent people, and The Crowded Room seems to perpetuate that.

“Whenever there's any kind of media that surrounds DID, I lead in with a cringe almost every single time now because it's so misrepresented in media,” Kelly Caniglia, MA, LCMHC, LMHC, CCTP, tells Inverse. Caniglia is a board member of An Infinite Mind, a non-profit that provides resources and advocacy for those living with DID.

Dissociative Identity Disorder, previously referred to as Multiple Personality Disorder, is a trauma response where an individual undergoes something so traumatic that memories, feelings, and traits are fragmented and spread across multiple identities. It’s a surprisingly common occurrence. “1.5% of this population is living with DID. That's more than people than there are redheads,” Caniglia says. “It is so much more common than people realize. And so this is a whole genre of human that we're essentially spotlighting and trying to make a quick buck on.”

To the show’s credit, it’s clear the minds behind The Crowded Room took a responsible portrayal of DID in mind. “We read Daniel Keyes' book, we read articles that align with the topic, we watched films and documentaries, we spoke to experts and specialists in this field,” Tom Holland told Inverse’s Hoai-Tran Bui during the series’ press junket. Caniglia does point to elements that show this research, like the depiction of Danny’s internal space as the eponymous “crowded room,” a space where alters convene and discuss what to do going forward. This internal space is something experienced by some (but not all) DID systems.

But it’s hard to get behind this show as a thoughtful, considerate reflection on this disorder when it’s treated as a “gotcha,” like a narrative twist that’s full of shock and awe, not something that is simply a part of who the character is. Still, Tom Holland defended the choice. “What's really important about our show is to understand that there's more to Danny than just his DID. We wanted audiences to get to know him as a human being before people make assumptions about this mental health issue, this affliction that he has,” he said.

To Caniglia, the twist was low-hanging fruit. “There are so many pieces to DID that are not widely understood,” she said, “So it's fascinating to those that don't know it and it's fascinating to think about, ‘What? This one body has 50 people inside of it? What does that look like? How does that work?’”

So what could this series do to portray this disorder in a more sensitive light? For Caniglia, it could be as simple as a disclaimer that this is one DID story, or any other way of using this show’s high-profile platform in order to spread awareness of just what DID is in our world beyond the violent stereotypes.

She also pointed out there are other works that are working against this archetype, like filmmaker Dylan Crumpler’s short film Petals of a Rose, or even Marvel’s series Moon Knight. It was still a violent portrayal of a DID system, but it showed a hero as someone living with DID. The population finally had positive representation they could look to: a literal superhero. Considering the past depictions, that’s a big step.

The Crowded Room is a gripping story that does attempt to show that DID is nothing more than a self-preservation technique, but it’s still perpetuating harmful stereotypes, even if it’s based on a true story.

“Representation is so important,” Caniglia says, “And this population is already so marginalized that though this piece is entertaining and has points of great execution, it still reinforces the rhetoric of people with mental illness, in this case DID, are dangerous.”

#dissociative identity disorder #dissociative fugue #dissociative amnesia #dissociation #actually dissociative #dissociative disorder #dissociative system #other specified dissociative disorder #dissociative personality disorder #complex dissociative disorder #dissociative vent #did alter #did i hallucinate that #did disorder #actually did #did system #did community #did osdd #did positivity #osdd problems #osdd 1a #osdd #actually osdd #osdd alter #osdd system #osddid #osdd positivity #osdd memes

[beevean]

As a writing prompt here's a neat idea: Imagine Soma having dreams about his previous life. More specifically of Isaac and Hector :)

Soma may have had rejected his fate, denied his nature as the reincarnation of Dracula, but that didn't mean his own soul didn't insist on reminding him of what he had turned his back to.

He had learned how to distinguish irrational dreams from real memories of his past lives, as confused and fragmented as they were. In his sleep, he felt all those emotions as acutely as he was reliving them again, and it turned out that Dracula felt everything with the intensity of a burning sun: love, hatred, grief, disgust, delight... A few times Soma would wake himself up by cackling, or shouting in rage in a voice that he could not recognize.

He dreamed of women, blonde women with kind eyes who made his dead heart soar, and made his eyes sting with tears he could not shed. He dreamed of horrible, fearsome men holding a whip - Julius' clan, and Soma could see something of him in their posture and stare, while Dracula was overcome by nothing but the thirst of death. He dreamed of a young blond boy in his father's lap, giggling with his little fangs shining, and it came naturally to Soma to love him as his son, despite not even knowing his name.

Soma would tell everything to Arikado whenever possible. The agent wanted to be kept updated on Soma's "condition", and Soma... well, he just wanted to vent to someone who wouldn't think he had lost his mind, or worry about him like Mina or Yoko, which didn't help his nerves one bit.

"Oh, you saw the Devil Forgemasters, Hector and Isaac," nodded Arikado one day, when Soma told him that two boys not much older than him had visited him in his dreams.

Soma raised an eyebrow. "Wow, for once you didn't play coy. Did you know them?"

"I did. They were Dracula's students of dark arts, and I crossed paths with them in the castle. What did you see in your dreams?"

Soma struggled to put the memories together. "Uhm, we were in a... laboratory of some sort? Full of potions and machinery and stuff. And I... Dracula was assisting them, I guess. The one with silver hair conjured a whole devil from a basin of pink water! I remember I felt pride at the sight."

The vision creeped Soma out, to be honest. He assumed that demons would simply... appear out of nowhere. He would have never imagined that they could be created from simple matter. And that was Dracula's magic? (He refused to think "his".) Creating life, on top of absorbing souls? Just how powerful was a Dark Lord?!

"Hector was Dracula's star pupil." And this time, Soma could have sword he had seen a corner of Arikado's lips twitching. "But both of them were formidable alchemists. They were born to dwell in the darkness and grow powerful from it. It's no wonder Dracula invested time and effort in training them."

If Arikado's words didn't bother Soma, he would have paid more attention to the twinge of jealousy creeping in his flat tone.

"But... they were human, weren't they?"

"They wouldn't be able to give you one answer."

"What do you mean?"

"Isaac prided himself on being inhuman. Being born cursed, mankind had shunned him, and so he sought solace in the realm of the devil. He was honored that Dracula had infused him with his magic, and believed that it made him something other and beyond mere humanity."

While Arikado explained, Soma could picture more and more clearly the redhaired man clad in black, the sneer he reserved at his companion, and the pure adoration that Dracula could nearly smell on him. So, Isaac saw himself as not human, because he was born with dark magic, and for him it was a source of joy. Soma stared at his own hands, suddenly very uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.

"And the other one? Hector, you said?" he asked, not able to mask the nervousness in his voice.

"Hector fled the castle, eventually." At that, Soma raised his head. Arikado was adjusting the handkerchief in his breast pocket, averting his gaze. "He, too, had been chased away from the land of man, and his potential for dark magic was even greater than Isaac's... but he chose to reject it and stay true to his humanity. And I eventually learned, from the Belmont records, that he slew Dracula himself when Julius' ancestor could not."

"I think I dreamed that one too. I had no idea holy magic cast by a cute mage burned so badly!" Soma laughed, chasing away the memory of the indignation Dracula felt that day. Right, they were nothing but memories. "I think I get what you mean. Thanks."

#castlevania #soma cruz #genya arikado #okay this was fun :) #thanks! #i have no idea how to write soma lol i just went for 'relatable teen' #beev's writing #akumajou dracula

[actual-changeling]

every child has a dream.

several, usually, but there is always one that stands out, a vision more than a dream, sharp and vivid where the others are blurry and soft.

i looked at the world and saw chaos. within that chaos—order. nature drawn to chaos and yet seeking to find purpose where there is none. no intention, simply action and reaction, the urge to grow, to be, to live.

i am not. i am a reaction to an action, my morals what they need to be, my person who i need it to be. i am fragments gathered with bare hands and held together until they can't anymore.

if you ask two scientists what entropy is, you will get two different answers, mere approximations.

the truth is in chaos. the truth is a spilled glass of water and the creation of a supernova. the world flows apart and yet here we are, trying to put it all back together—every plant, every insect, every human being trying to create order.

every child has a dream. mine was to create.

order, chaos, i did not care. something, anything as long as it came from within me, formed by my hands, defined by my thoughts. a mark not easily undone, a reminder of my existence for everyone willing to look. if you had given me the chance, i would have placed new stars in the sky with sparkling blue eyes and tiny fingers.

they took that from me. the world went dim and cold, my mind clouded by nightmares, my hands shaking too much to hold even myself. i was breaking apart and the universe welcomed every part i lost—now i cannot reclaim them.

i still want to create. is this creation? is this order? does any of this carry meaning amidst the chaos?

does anything we do matter? so much will be forgotten. you and i.

before long, order will fall and chaos will grow. not return, it is watching, always.

order is temporary. chaos is.

every child has a dream until they don't.

#alex writes #spilled ink #sorry to the night crew we're going through it huh #i did not have therapy today when i should have so now i am kinda off balance mentally #but then again when am i not

[affectionatecorpse]

Alright so I replayed Shadow of the Colossus and I'm being totally normal about Dormin /s sooo I'm gonna say my opinion on the "if they are evil or not" argument.

Now before I get into my interpretation, I just wanna say, I respect everyone's opinion on the matter. That's the point of a story, to read between the lines and come to your own conclusion, to form your own thoughts on it. However you see Dormin as a character is valid. But let's keep things nice and peaceful, yeah?

Right off the bat, I don't believe Dormin is evil. Morally gray, perhaps, but they don't really do anything significantly EVIL. The most evil thing they probably do in game is order the extermination of the Colossi, which yeah, okay, fair enough, is kinda unfair. But people seem to forget that these Colossi ARE Dormin. They are all pieces of them left behind after their downfall. By killing the Colossi, you're simply returning the fragments back to where they came from; the very person who wants them back.

We don't know why Dormin was sealed away, but a common theme in human history is fearing the things that are stronger than us. From what it seems regarding Dormin's powers in life and death, Wander is not the first person to approach them for help playing with mortality. It's very likely Dormin was sealed away because of their power, or perhaps because of a bad side effect that they probably warned about beforehand.

Which brings me onto the fact Wander suffered greatly for what he did. But Dormin DID warn him. They warned him several times in fact. He chose to do it anyway, and Dormin let him make that mistake himself. After all, mistakes are important, they help us learn. But Dormin never disrespects his decision. They're sympathetic to his motivation, whereas most entities might not care about 'just another mortal'. But Dormin very clearly shows empathy towards the predicament Wander is going through, and honours that wish through and through.

In fact, they go above and beyond for Wander's efforts. The deal was to bring Mono back to life when back at full strength. But assuming the theory that the eagle is Dormin is actually true, they also keep a close eye on Wander. They watch over him. It may also be safe to assume that Dormin is the one to bring Wander back every time he collapses, as that magic is in fact theirs, which is not something they were ever obligated to do. They could've just let him find his own way back after waking up, but he's never left out in the open for too long.

Let's not forget, they also took responsibility for Wander getting hurt in the final battle. They claimed to 'borrow' his body in order to fight a fair battle, perhaps to avoid the unfair advantage they had against a group of humans. When Wander got caught up in their resealing, they could've let him die, as they go back to their life of solitude and wait for someone else to free them again. But they don't. They spend whatever power they have left to bring Wander back, something they really didn't have to do. And that's probably why he came back a baby, because they didn't have alot of time (or power) left to heal him fully.

Which is also the case with Agro. Let's be honest here, nothing could survive that fall. Not a human, and definitely not a horse. These things get all their bones broken if you so much as look at them wrong, do we seriously thing Agro just got up and walked away after that drop? Even if there was water at the bottom, that height would destroy her, or at the very least knock her out, which would again mean she drowned. Not to mention how she got back up to the top remarkably fast despite there being no clear path. So with all that in mind, it's highly likely it was actually Dormin who helped Agro. Which again, they wouldn't be obligated to do by any means.

Dormin is by no means a golden character. But I don't think they were evil. There is so, so much to take into consideration, and so many incidents that simply could not be solved without them acting selflessly. They never even blame Wander for being sealed away again, they never get mad about it at all. Any energy that could be spent on frustration, they instead use to keep Wander, Mono and Agro alive in the end.

Though don't get me wrong, I don't think there's any villain in that story. Not Wander, not Dormin, and not Lord Emon. Each person was simply doing what they felt they had to, and unfortunately, this resulted in an unresolved yet hopeful end to the story.

TL;DR: Dormin is an incredible character to read between the lines of, but any interpretation of them is valid nonetheless.

#sorry about the rambling #shadow of the colossus #sotc #dormin #wander #lord emon #team ico