#was what everyone needed to be taught as fact. fucking wild.

[snekdood]

idk who needs to hear this (vaush) but being a skilled debater and being Good With Words does not make you correct.

#just bc you can finesse your audience into believing anything you say bc you're good at convincing them STILL doesnt make you correct #on everything bud. #spewing incorrect shit just bc you know you can get away w convincing ppl of it makes you no better than the alt righters you hate #its like he learned he could convince everyone hes correct if he words things the right way and decided his biased opinions #was what everyone needed to be taught as fact. fucking wild. #'durr its not my fault if my audience uncritically believes everything i say' yeah it kinda is bc you kinda set it up as #'if you dont agree with me you're just dumb and dont know anything' #also even if you jokingly say 'im always right' doesnt mean 1. thats not gonna subconsciously effect you to make you think you Are #and 2. that doesnt mean everyone knows you're joking. #so fucking pissed at him for this. unbiased my ass #maybe he lost a huge chunk of fans all at once so hes doing everything he can to keep the remaining ones not sure #oh well. at least hes not as bad about it as keffals. though i am still starting to get culty vibes from vaushs audience now. #at least the ones perpetually in his chat. #also then again i wouldnt exactly consider keffals anything near a 'skilled debater' #and before any a yall accuse me of kds bitch idgaf about the noodles shit. its dumb. i understand nuance. #unlike yall who are devolving into b/w thinking where you think anyone critical of your faves is just a wokescold with #[enter name] derangement syndrome #only reason i stopped interacting w keffals shit is i realized she would never respect me as a person so yeah. same w vaush quite frankly. #keffals dismissing trans mascs. vaush acting like ppl who believe in shit are all mentally ill. yeah im over them for that shit. #like get fucked you up-your-own-asses elitist tools #ig that one applies to vaush more. keffals just doesnt care about anything but herself it seems like.

[capslocked]

KINKVEMBER DAY: 6

[prompt: blowjob]

male reader x hyeju

12k words

“I mean, don’t you think,” Hyeju says, wagging a finger at you, “that when you suffer through a bad date, the world ought to owe you something?”

"Like what?" you ask.

"Better taste in women - maybe more orgasms; I dunno, a blowjob?" She shrugs. "The general idea is just that someone gets to cum."

You nearly choke on the air in front of you. "Jesus, Hyeju, warn a guy."

“What? I’m trying to commiserate with you,” Hyeju laughs. “Wouldn’t that be funny? Being able to kiss someone who actually, you know, might love you back, and at the same time. Imagine not hooking-up just to forget a shitty day. Sounds wild, right?"

"Utterly deranged."

"So wild."

-

The first time you hook up with your roommate, it’s because of genetics - though not in the weird, uncontrollable way your body gets rigid and sensitive to any pretty girl who wears nothing but a towel moving between her bedroom and the bathroom, or how her eyes might flick fast from your chest up to yours - or given that the absolute shape of her is a blessing from one god or another (benevolent, clearly). That's not why Hyeju and you find yourselves only a few months later grinding on each other after the clock ticked past midnight, making out on New Year's Eve.

No, it has to do with the fact that Hyeju's nearly failing the nine AM section of molecular genetics because she's spent every lecture doodling stars and planets and planets shaped like asscheeks and planet-ass constellations while everyone else writes notes or doom scrolls twitter or whatever and she is somehow simultaneously the only student who never slept with her face on the lab desk or missed an assigned reading and the only one who absolutely needs a tutor.

It's just cosmic odds that you'd be that one: her roommate, who shouldn't be talking so loudly in the library about sex (in a sort of non-sexy, Mendelian kind of way) or be thinking the kind of things you've started thinking when Hyeju wears one of her more sleepshirt-esque long sleeves, her voice getting lower as you rattle off, "fruit flies and thale cress, definitely, it's just an error of fate or chromosome splitting..." before trailing off into a question.

"This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me," she finally tells you. You listen to her sigh into the binding of her textbook, facedown. "I'm really going to bomb this exam."

You tap her hand twice with your highlighter across the desk. "Then you're pretty damn lucky, if you think about it."

She turns to you, smiles a bit. "Okay, point. The worst thing will be having to retake this stupid fucking class."

"Why didn't you ask for help or go to office hours if you knew you were... failing?"

"Maybe because doing anything more than the bare minimum to get through a class I don't care about is my definition of, failing," she mumbles. "Why didn't anyone tell me a single lab is worth half my grade? Or that the TA is this fucking unreliable? How is this the one thing, really, beyond the basics, that can't be taught by wikipedia, a wikihow article and a youtube video?"

You scoot your seat closer to her. "You really need to relax."

"Fucking tell me about it."

You turn it over in your mind a few times, capping the top of your highlighter.

"Want me to get you off?"

And it’s not like you really mean it, when you say it, which is the strangest thing: you wouldn't actually suggest it, normally, wouldn't mention it in passing and then leave yourself open to the follow up and cross examination; yet there it is, after three, four hours of cramming notes on heterochronicity and the sloshing of gametes - you actually did propose it.

Hyeju jerks up, surprised.

"Are you serious?" She looks around, nearly snorting. "In the library?"

The face you’re giving her makes her scoff.

“You’re absolutely nuts.”

You have character flaws; the inability to admit wrongdoing chief among them. Hell, maybe it's from your mother - or maybe all your brains are just scrambled by the fact that Hyeju's sitting there with her pen against her pretty lips, hair glossier than usual as she scans your face and makes your entire body feel like a reactor core in meltdown.

Maybe you can blame what comes next on that.

"I'm always serious. I'm asking a serious question," you whisper, closing the textbook and resting your elbows on top. You look around quickly, like you're sneaking something in instead of this perfectly reasonable exchange, the perfectly platonic - except maybe not so much - way for friends to help each other.

"And I'm wondering what you're asking." Her cheeks are definitely pinker, you think, or the way it fills out her face, from the bottom up, is just that easy to imagine.

“I’m saying you haven’t gotten laid in months.” Here, you realize, these blocks of mental logic that definitely weren’t there when you blurted it out start to coalesce into something solid as you go on.

And you hadn't been wrong when you thought no one had given Hyeju a helping hand in a long, long time: you've heard through the walls or the floorboards at odd hours of the morning that she spends far too long fingering herself to a mind-numbing, tear-worthy frustration that leaves her knuckle-deep but never, ever sated or satisfied.

"No one's around, you'll feel better. You said it yourself."

Not a work of your imagination here - her ears are fucking burning.

"Wait a minute." She pushes her chair back, away from you and your gleaming offer. It clatters on its back legs, and a librarian waves her finger in warning. You wave back, sheepishly, until she stops and Hyeju stands and moves away from the table to talk, hands crossed over her front.

She turns and asks in a hushed-down-voice, "how did you know - did you hear something last night?"

"You couldn't keep it down even if you wanted to, honestly."

Hyeju turns further and throws a glare at the library doors, because obviously her noisiness and their collective noisemanship, or whatever the hell the word is, is clearly the root of the whole goddamn problem.

"Look - if not, no big deal - but I'm just saying you'll probably get over it and at least think less about sex. Or at least the wrong kind of sex."

You expect her to turn, sigh, and ask if you've lost your mind. Expect her to gather her jacket from the back of her chair, take her books and stomp out the room. Or even burst out laughing at the insanity, before slapping your arm lightly, in playful retaliation - anything other than the serious look she gives you in return, tilting her head, pressing her lips.

She turns up at the ceiling for a moment, contemplating something. And it's cute. It's so very, very cute, how her mouth pouts as she considers the possibility, right up until she says, "okay, fine."

The moderate twist of surprise taking hold in your brow must be visible.

"Oh, don't tell me that was all talk. Get me thinking about the right kind of sex or whatever."

You laugh, which has the librarian staring at both of you - until the librarian stops staring and probably sees Hyeju sliding back into her chair, the full, pent-up weight of her concentration pointed your way, knees inching apart - you, and Hyeju waiting, your knee bumping into her inner thigh, leaning closer as the textbook hits the floor.

"Don't laugh."

"Not laughing, seriously. Not laughing," you stammer. “I just think you’re just full of surprises.”

She spreads her knees further and sits taller, looking right at you.

"So then, surprise me," and then presses her cheek to the crook of your elbow.

You slide your chair right into the space next to hers, nuzzling up into the space under her ear. “Keep studying, Hyeju, you’ve got shit to do.” And then you slide your hand beneath the waist of her sweats, knead the swell of her thigh until you find the seam where her leg meets her body, press your palm down on the place just next to her center, your thumb in the middle. All this perfect pressure.

"Fuck," Hyeju says under a shudder. She's breathing heavier when your hot, open-mouthed kisses start landing at her neck, and she probably tries to read her textbook for about forty-five seconds longer. But there's the clench of her jaw right as your middle finger begins tracing circles beneath the fabric of her panties, and her gaze is blurring until she can't tell the difference between an allele or your fucking name.

"Shh-shh," you quiet her, finger tapping harder, playing with the slick wetness beneath all those layers of thick cotton and pressing two fingers there until her knees part like they’re not interested in resisting at all. Your lips press a kiss to the shell of her ear and she tenses all at once, hand shooting up to cover her mouth.

She simply leans back, closes her eyes, and lets you take care of her.

“Okay, you’re right,” she says, shaky and uneven, “that really did take some of the edge off. Did we ever review - poly- uh, pol-polymers here?"

The sweatshirt sleeve falling off your shoulder is a hindrance to any actual reading; her shifting against the chair isn't helping either, but you manage to push down the thoughts of stripping her down completely and giving her your tongue as yet another distraction.

"What did the syllabus say? I don't know if we need to read too far on 'polymers'," you say, having going through an entire afternoon without considering this once, but as you curl your fingers and take an honest crack at cramming the remaining chapters into her head, the knowledge that no one else is getting her this wet - except for whoever she's got in her mind's eye at three AM - is enough to get you feeling a little dizzy.

-

It’s probably supposed to be weird, given that you’ve never gotten any of your other friends off spontaneously in the library, or there's the fact that you can't really avoid each other afterwards, how she shows up in a silk negligee when you're pouring coffee before sunrise to prep for another day and you have the opportunity to notice - yes, she has amazing taste in underwear, yes, you might not have really appreciated her chest and figure enough before - yes, fuck it. She catches you noticing that first time, after coming downstairs with nothing but one of her cropped t-shirts and her board shorts, and she smirks when she realizes you're still thinking about it that afternoon, when her foot grazes yours while you're both washing dishes, and she dries the plate in her hand with a slow swipe.

And it is weird, actually, to describe what’s going on between you in words. 

A few words, anyway, like a one-word label to describe what it was: friends or roommates-with-benefits, or - fuck buddies - god, it's even worse. Fuck buddies? Fuck friends? Something equally terrible and stupid that still makes sense, like something out of a shitty rom-com: it doesn't capture any of the rest of the myriad ways in which things can feel less or less friendly between two people.

So, friends was never, ever going to cut it. Roommates - although technically correct - is just this side of too clinical. And let's be clear: strangers don't wake up every morning together, walk to the same class, sit close together in the middle seats, secretly flick a strangers' skirt up in an empty lecture hall and get on their knees and work your mouth onto her pussy and watch the legs of the desks shake when her feet arch into the floor.

"The notes you've got are better than mine," is how Hyeju tries to put things, the next day and every time after that, standing in the doorframe, or at the foot of your bed and looking every bit the disheveled and hopeless mess you imagine she might spread out over the sheets of her own.

-

It gets complicated, which isn't really a surprise.

"You think your roommate is going to be home tonight?" is the question that comes up multiple times - from a revolving door of pretty names and faces. Hyeju has at least one opinion, if not more, on each of them.

"Tell Jinsoul I say hi," she says once, watching you get ready for a date, and you nearly bang your knee on the edge of the bathroom vanity. 

It's one of the more harmless comments she's offered.

Another, backhanded: "if you’re just looking for a blowjob everyday between lunch and our physics lab, let Hyunjin or Heejin or whatever-her-name-is know she's easily my favorite," Hyeju says on your way out one morning, still under her covers.

Or,

Hyeju's texted a simple "uh, Chuu? really??" when you mention, once, how much fun you've been having - and what kind, as you make a round of self-conscious and rambling phone calls the next day that land you with only one prospect for the night - but your roommate's also no longer being your roommate by the end of it, bouncing against your thighs in the bathtub and moaning something about please more and fuck or fucking make me cum; the details escape you a bit.

That's what friends are for, probably.

Still, in the same, bare-bones explanation, friends also aren't for falling asleep on you - or letting you hold her - or fucking you awake in the middle of the night. Friends aren't for pushing down your jeans when the early-morning dew settles on the back patio, or jerking you off in the seat beside yours with a sweatshirt over your lap when a group project is due later and you all should probably work on that and instead get yourselves off and leave the mess of what you're doing half-finished. Friends aren't, probably, for offering to watch you rub your palm up and down your cock the night before next semester's exams when you can barely sit in a single chair and you can't think about molecular biology or neurochemical transcriptions when your whole body aches to do the transcribing. (If you can catch that drift.)

The lists of who are and are not good enough for you goes on and on - the latter longer than the former.

So, there's Choerry, who according to Hyeju is 'straight up, a total slut'. Yeojin, who gets mistaken for your little sister enough times that Hyeju refuses to - in good faith - let you keep sleeping with her. Both Heejin and Gowon are apparently too pretty for you. "Kim-lip?" she asks, in the middle of peeling garlic, "is that one name or two?" And laughs into a bottle of beer, loud, while you're telling her to quit being nosey and watch her fingers with the damn knife.

"You have a problem."

"Why, because I asked a few simple questions? I think anyone would be a little curious with the -" she pauses to wave her fingers - "I'd be remiss to not be interested in the very drama that unfolds literally across the hall."

She waggles her eyebrows.

You look up at the ceiling. God save you, you think. "Hyeju."

("Seriously," Hyeju chimes in one evening, arms around you, and a mouthful of the dinner you'd cooked.

"You need better taste in girls. Don't waste time on anyone too dumb, or who drinks the milk straight from the carton, or doesn't wash her socks with the same load of laundry. Oh, and - no one who chews loudly. No one who can't tell you're going to cum. The worst is someone who doesn't know what you like, trust me on that. And remember the last rule: don't do anything with someone who eats at a really slow pace, it's incredibly depressing."

You rest your chin on her shoulder from the spot behind her. "Duly noted, oh Master of all Knowledge."

She sighs into your arm, but in the next moment, her voice gets a lot softer, her hips fidgeting slightly against you. "I just mean you're the kind of person people would want to sleep with again," she says, before turning to say your name and kiss you again and again as your bodies curl inward.

"I wonder what that means, Hyeju," you say.

"Fuck," Hyeju groans as you slide further into her, pushing her back into the sofa - hands on her shoulders, legs bent on her either side, "don't tease me like this.")

-

The first snowfall of the year is mild, a tiny dusting, nothing that sticks on the pavement in the alley or on the sidewalks - or the lintels - or in Hyeju's hair, but by evening, when the snow picks up and everything goes quiet, Hyeju has changed into flannels and wool socks in anticipation, curled up like a cat at one edge of the window ledge as the world begins to go white. It's enough that you even pull on a thicker sweatshirt, open up a book, and join her.

She turns toward you, quiet.

You've reached a point in the semester where this, the silence, doesn't unsettle you anymore. It's the space you fill up with time in-between, where you can see the contours of her body against the orange lamplight of the space heater, or watch her kick off the top half of the duvet at night as you fight over space in her bed and wonder about the bare skin peeking out from her shorts.

"Feeling bored?" She slides her foot a little closer to yours, almost imperceptibly. "Am I keeping you entertained enough?"

Her lips pull up at the corner. You chuckle.

"Oh, no."

She scoffs and puts her hands on her knees, pushes herself closer to the window sill and bumps her elbow into your shoulder. The bare skin of her neck and shoulders and face is getting a little redder as she cranes it forward. "Okay, if not, do you need someone to entertain you, maybe."

Your mouth twists, fighting a smile.

Hyeju is so close to you, you could kiss her really, really easily and not care how she'd feel about that. It's not a habit, not as often as it used to be, but every once and a while - she starts this game. Every once in a while, Hyeju just starts smiling like that, and leans into you like she's daring you to play along, hard round of chicken until it's clear what the two of you are doing with each other; the minutes pass by, one, then two, and then - maybe she pushes first, her leg on yours, or a kiss to your jaw or a palm on your back as she walks behind you - and then you'd turn and kiss her full on the mouth and pull at her clothes like nothing's holding you back.

She cocks a smile, and says, "why don't you go and call what's her name."

"Because."

You glance out at the cold, gray light outside. If you had a better understanding of any of the workings inside you, you could reach forward and tell her everything that's stopped you.

-

You're supposed to meet the girl-of-the-month at a New Year's party. Hyeju looks disgusted within the first ten seconds of the whole story.

"Heejin dumped you once, like, two months ago? For no reason."

"It wasn't a break-up. We talked about what we did wrong and we're doing better," you say, lifting one finger.

She glares, then, tilts her lips into this unamused purse that you can't take seriously at all when she starts walking back and forth across your living room, hands moving emphatically to the sides as she speaks, like she's in the process of unveiling a brilliant argument and is using both palms to guide your eyes toward the unquestionable logic. "God, you're the worst. You're just her easy fuck and you'll still answer her late night calls, really."

She leaves the rest unsaid - that she's just not that into you.

"I don't tell you which boys or girls you can call up," you try, putting on a boot. "If you'd like, I can. Name off the list, and make sure that the right name leaves my mouth this time."

Hyeju doesn't blush when you glance up, which is the surprising thing. No - her cheeks have grown a little more sullen, and she stares down at her socks in contemplation. You're in the middle of fastening up the lace and getting to your feet, waiting, wondering if Hyeju's going to continue this conversation, when Hyeju takes one small step forward.

And her hand goes out to touch your chin, thumb at your lip, fingers holding it in place - like you'll turn if she lets it go - the sharp shock of the sensation like a short circuit, before her knee comes between yours, and your body tingles, at the root and stem. "Hey," she says, eyes meeting yours. The edge of her nail flicking gently as she drags the curve of her thumb downward.

"Hyeju, please - I need to get going."

When you start walking toward your car, she calls out from the window. Something about how you better have the time of your life, fun for the two of you - it’s only fair.

(You feel, somewhere, a certain strange loss.)

"What, are you going to stay up and wait until I come back? Or am I interrupting your session for the night."

You can barely make it out, the smallest look passing over her face. "Maybe," she says, and then: "god, it's fucking cold."

-

New year's parties have this sort of quality of being simultaneously the most thrilling, exciting prospect on earth and the absolute worst fucking event in the history of the planet - depending on the venue, how egregious the racket is for a gin and tonic, the guests - oh, and the company.

Jinsoul and Choerry are both in attendance; in separate corners and in equal states of undress and intoxication, which seems fine by every present party, who are for the most part busy ogling one or the other in the full spirit of the New Year - as you would too, if the stars are aligned and Heejin hasn't already gone upstairs with half the guestlist, her arm wound with someone else's, as per her recent habit; if you haven't been tossed aside for any of the usual, less forgettable prospects and for something bigger, better and certainly much more enjoyable.

Which, if there were any way to track these things down with math, you'd already be reaching for your pen and notebook, as Hyeju would describe this sensation in a phrase she picked up from some podcast. Inevitable means necessary, or something.

"Good party," says Heejin, throwing back another drink.

"Yep. You said that," and you finish yours in one long draw, hissing through your teeth.

Heejin is a goddamn delight, of course, in all the simplest of ways. When she looks up at you - mouth pink, hair framing her face - she is so clearly and completely aware of what she is, and exactly what the world has in store for her, what it has set aside.

"Do you want to know what happened at the other New Year’s party we went to last year?"

"I - yeah. Hit me. Tell me all about (another date you were on) Heejin, that’s exactly what I’d love, let’s hear it."

She throws her head back and laughs, before starting into an overlong recount of her latest, greatest conquest, you on the outside. This is the thing - this is how a pretty face, with just a hint of a flirt, will make you feel for a beautiful, attractive, vivacious - absolutely shameless, raving sex-crazed lunatic of sorts who, apparently, loves to run around town and make a bunch of your closest friends fall in love and heartbroke-er, with every passing notion of her beauty, her charm - just the tilt of her chin, and some poor fucker is lost, absolutely lost.

 Even she knows it's a bad habit of hers. 

But who doesn't have a weakness? You've got plenty of your own - plenty, Heejin can admit - everyone does, in a way, and so Heejin, the other sloppy drunks milling about the party, and Choerry and Jinsoul all agree - someone like her just happens to have the best kind of weakness - so, so many of them, in fact:

"Can you believe how easily a few words get Jinsoul riled up? Or how it only takes a couple drinks for Choerry to pull up the hem of her skirt, not knowing the effect that'll have?"

And as for the last, and arguably worst kind -

"Hyeju, huh? What a great start to the New Year," is her final word. Heejin reaches across and downs your drink. Her expression turns just shy of grave, a pensive look. "Not your smartest idea, the living-together situation. Who in their right mind would put themselves in such a mess?"

"Thanks for the great advice." You wave her off, irritated.

There's another laugh before Heejin leans her face onto the table.

"Though maybe she's onto something, now that I think of it. Who needs anyone for the New Year?" and it's almost convincing the way her mouth, lined up with the rim of the glass, smirks when she drinks. "Mm. All a matter of taste."

-

The snow is halfway up your calves when you realize you need to find a cab at 11:30 PM on New Year's Eve. (Which, categorically, is the worst time to need to find a cab on New Year’s Eve.)

Or just:

11:36 PM and the nearest bus stop is too far away.

11:41 and the temperature feels like its dropped by fifteen degrees, like you should start wondering what hypothermia symptoms look like and what signs to look out for in yourself, your future wife and your children. You try not to think about why, but you get your phone out and immediately call Hyeju, so you're not sure what you think you're denying.

"No party?" she asks. Her voice is distant and sleep-ridden, but Hyeju's quick to pick up, like always.

"It sucked, I'm trying to find a way home early. Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year." There's a long pause, filled in by the squeak of snow beneath your boots. "Get a kiss?"

"Uh, not yet. In the market, I guess."

Hyeju's low hum isn't reassuring, either. "Well, you're kind of missing your window. Bad time to start looking."

"Says you, and here you are - still up for someone to spend the night with. Look at you," you respond, all this snark in your voice that she clearly hears. There's a long sigh.

"Actually," and Hyeju, much to the confusion of you and possibly the whole world, doesn't respond, and for a few seconds, the line goes completely silent, leaving you hanging.

She breathes once and comes out of her sleep with a yawn.

"I actually," she begins. There's a lot less preamble this time - this tone - and when she speaks again it comes through not nearly as sleepy, "was sorta wondering. Are you on your way home?"

"If I don't freeze to death, yeah."

"Yeah - no, yeah," and that's it. That's the sum total of what makes any difference between where you were a moment ago, and where you are right now, head spinning, fingers buzzing. Hyeju waits and there's the wind on the line, snow settling on your hat and in the corners of your face.

"I - sorry. I probably woke you up. Are you expecting someone else," you say, very small. Your foot drags behind the other. The cars whizz by you faster, passing.

"Hm. You're the only one, I guess," and after that - just static and the muffled sounds of her footsteps on creaky floorboards - or the tick of her ceiling fan? You can't make heads or tails of the rest of the background noise. All those words she said.

You bite your tongue to stop whatever curse words start pouring out from the jumble and cross streets, or the pedestrian underpass; snow gets stuck in your lashes and burns, but your chest is like a molten furnace. You consider telling her right there on the line, everything you're feeling - so hot, it feels like fire, Hyeju, I'm not used to getting heated and desperate and impatient - that even if you're not here now - just imagining your face - the sound of your breathing, it feels like I'm on the cusp.

"Yeah. Sure - good - okay, Hyeju."

"I guess, see you soon?"

"In a bit."

(It takes 33 minutes, trudging through cold and wet. It's all very dramatic, you think, and there's no one there to even watch you suffer for it, or - though you try not to think about that particular line - really, no one at all.)

-

You hear the way your key grinds in the lock - it's been like this, jammed since summer, when you pushed the front door in late at night a little too hard and something came undone and made a sound like a small stone tumbling down the world's deepest well. The hinge squeaks, and there's ice on the stoop, on the doormat, on every nook and corner you can see, all the way up your neck.

And your face, too. You shake off your hat, undo the buttons on your jacket, and pull off your boots before hanging them and all the layers to dry.

You can make out the outline of her profile at the edge of the door frame, right in the kitchen - barefoot, hip pressed against the island, pajamas - the dim lights illuminating the shadow of her head, hair over her face -

- but you don't pause. The next layer. There's nothing left to say. You're too cold for excuses, too smart to use the same ones you'd been taught, like: this is a normal, acceptable circumstance; everything, anything, will be perfectly normal if the two of us act as though that's the case; pretend we're both acting within the norms of reason, within our senses and logical thinking and I won't make myself go out in the cold a second more - won't stand for more than five minutes with your eyes looking like they're waiting.

So you move instead toward the kitchen, where the heating is better and she's already pouring coffee. There's a heat radiating out of the oven, and it smells sweet in there, like cinnamon and warm butter, and you wish you weren't still shaking, blood barely thawed, but there it is - her face, watching you - eyes gleaming as you wrap your hands around a mug, steam rising up - a shiver running up your arms; her knees skirting yours when she takes one step back and there's the cabinet door shut, then open again, and then a palm on your back.

Hyeju presses a cup of the fresh coffee, now warm enough to drink, to your chest, and says, softly. "What the fuck happened out there?"

She starts reaching out to wipe the frost and slush from your face. You let her hand hold you still, eyes wide.

"Oh you know," and her palm stays, even though it's obviously - suddenly - gotten warmer, and wetter too, and the longer she stands there and lets her fingers warm the pale bones of your cheeks, her wrist, the base of your forehead and ears, the more expectant the look on her face grows. "The usual."

Her eyes go as narrow as they ever can. For just a moment. "You're gonna die a slow, pathetic death someday, just for the record."

"Don't forget how this starts," you try, and feel your neck go warm, throat and breath tight. And not even when her shoulders shift, her mouth going smug - just looking at you.

“I mean, don’t you think,” Hyeju says, wagging a finger at you, “that when you suffer through a bad date, the world ought to owe you something?”

"Like what?" you ask.

"Better taste in women - maybe more orgasms; I dunno, a blowjob?" She shrugs. "The general idea is just that someone gets to cum."

You nearly choke on the air in front of you. "Jesus, Hyeju, warn a guy."

“What? I’m trying to commiserate with you,” Hyeju laughs. “Wouldn’t that be funny? Being able to kiss someone you actually, you know, might love you back, and at the same time. Imagine not hooking-up just to forget a shitty day. Sounds wild, right?"

"Utterly deranged."

"So wild."

When Hyeju sighs and gives a long, nonchalant hum, leaning her body closer, pressing up until her waist hits the cabinet top and you're pressed together chest-to-chest, she looks at you and her hips settle, the heel of her foot reaching around your calf.

There's that tingle. Again and again. You're not even trying to not think about what it might mean.

But then, you start, silently and unconsciously, trying to answer the question: why don't you, maybe. Why don't you, actually - Hyeju kisses you, pulls on the loop of your jeans and lets your lips brush the corners of hers and pulls away, suddenly, mumbling and head-turning. And just as abruptly, your nose buries in the space between her neck and her shoulder, where it's all warm. And when she puts her palms on your hips and squeezes and twists her knuckles into the fabric there, it seems she wants your hands up her shirt and under the small of her back.

And her hands - they're fidgety tonight, fingers curled up to keep their nails and the chill away, moving lower - one on your ass, while the other comes forward and begins rubbing circles, a handful of times - enough so you're letting a deep, low breath escape into the space just above her collar, your knee working its way between hers.

"That," Hyeju breathes, lips at your ear, hand reaching down to trace the hard curve of your cock pressing in the spot right between you, and there's that small rush again, familiar now, like you've caught a rhythm and she wants to feel it in its fullness: "is how you can make it up to me. For making me stay up. Worrying about you, god knows why. Waiting."

You're still half-frozen in a way, slowly thawing. "Hyeju, I've been trudging through the consequences of my actions this entire night. What am I about to suffer through now?"

"It's no consequence, honestly."

You squint.

"Just an idea, but," she breathes again; your bodies getting closer, and looking up at you, she grins and reaches down to touch the very root of you, her fingers drumming. You make a sound, and at that she says, her voice coming out thick, low:

"Want me to get you off?"

She squeezes again for good measure, just to be clear. Just a slight curl of fingers that's enough to send a flash of heat and the transient thought: why, why, why is she always wearing those fucking shorts, even in the winter?

Your blood thrums through the pulse at the end of your cock. You shake.

"Alright," is the response you let out.

And at that, Hyeju takes your wrist and leads you upstairs.

"There's that look. Don't worry. We'll find a way," is all she says as your feet walk forward, up step-by-step and higher and further up to her room. "After all, isn't that what we've always done?"

"It's usually whatever will make me stop talking."

Hyeju puts her chin on your shoulder. Her eyes follow the lines and shapes in the patterns of wallpaper as you turn onto her side of the apartment, and even through the wall and behind the doorway, her arm still around you, she pulls at your chin until your faces turn and you both can share each other's heat.

"Who, you and your awful habit of talking out-loud in your head while you work through equations?" and she brings her lips to yours, close and warm.

"Hey. Fuck you," and your voice breaks into an odd, low laughter when she kisses you harder.

"Yeah, I know," she whispers as her hand dives past the band of your boxers, palm sliding easily until she's gripping you fully and letting her fingers rub. She holds you there, in her room, her arm looped through yours, another arm resting at your belly.

And she stops there. She stays like that: holding your gaze.

"Look, Hyeju," you say, unable to not, though this can hardly count for anything; this, what you're about to admit, is nothing new. You swallow. "The thing is - you shouldn't."

"Don't want me to touch you?" she says, finger to your lips.

"Well, that's different. Maybe. Is there - maybe it's not the best thing to ask you right now."

Hyeju considers for a brief moment and tuts under her breath. "Can you at least do me the decency of waiting until I'm done wringing you dry before you say shit like that."

And she moves then, toward the bed.

So:

No. Yes. Maybe. Who knows, you tell yourself. Maybe, but only because you'll do anything if it makes you feel less sick, like a creature standing over its own skeleton - an abandoned shell; a relic, something to be feared and disgusted, as you let her go between your thighs, kneel beside the bed.

"I mean - since when - have you felt," is just as far as you're allowed to go before Hyeju presses her nose into you and pulls you out of the thin, cold fabric - palm, thumb, all those slender fingers swiping over your head - and now there's just the smell of her room and the shock, the buzz that runs down your spine and settles somewhere, somewhere inside the small and desperate movement of your hips and the tension building just below.

And god, fuck, Hyeju’s lips.

These soft, wet, pouty fucking things that could suck you straight off if you were feeling any less stupid or inexperienced or sentimental - if she wasn't solely intent on teasing it out of you first; a slow drag of the tongue up the underside; the tip of it poking, tracing the rim, like she's figured you out, just where to lead you. She's ready to smoke you out - always - until you're not taking in a breath every ten seconds but starting to close your eyes to the overwhelming, needling pleasure, too sharp, the way she knows you like best.

"Now you're finally - mm - starting to sound hot," and that smirk comes back to the corner of her mouth, teasing the sensitive belly of your cock and tracing her tongue everywhere. "With the voice and -"

You're losing track, her thumb and fingers circling the whole length of you - just, one after the other - mouth a hair-breadth away, her breath hovering like a promise.

"- that face."

"Don't, fucking tease me-"

The sound of your cock going in is like nothing else.

Wet and filthy in all the right ways.

Just the suction in her throat has your eyes nearly roll back into your head - Hyeju's gaze calmly watching the terrible sort of helplessness that washes over you like this: her lips wrapped around, bobbing - her hair falling into the wet mess of her mouth and sticking there. Hyeju likes being a little sloppy, likes feeling that spark run up the length of her tongue when she slides. It's the wet and the heat that gives everything away.

"I don't have much of a choice -" her jaw and chin is smudged when she pulls back off of your cock, mouth glossy and glistening, "and honestly, wouldn't it be a better use of our time, or my talents if I actually do that thing?"

“Which is?”

She looks up for a bit and sighs, the flush blooming pink to the tip of her ears and into the rounds of her cheeks and all across her neck. "Since, as far as I can see, what you really like - is, oh I'm just spit-balling here," and she stops just to bite her tongue and look into your eyes, "it's letting the girls take care of you? Isn't that right?"

You want to tell her, no, not always, that it's not as though you enjoy giving control completely - that that would be completely and unarguably, the opposite of true -

That most of the time you love it when the person you're with is a little bossy, a little crazy for you. You know some guys really get off on a strong woman and maybe, maybe if a girl's pretty and dressed up, and - sure - a little wet, but that's hardly -

“You know I’m right,” she says, a flicker of mischief skittering across her features. “These walls are paper thin.”

You want to tell her, perhaps remind her, that she likes someone in charge just as much as you do - to be taken care of, told what to do - to have a hand curled up around her throat and the other at her tits while a guy fucks her the right way and takes the reigns when she needs. So who are you, when it comes to knowing her better? And who, really, are you fooling?

But before you can get any words in: Hyeju dips, lips parting where the head of your cock throbs, and then disappears; and the hot wet warmth, enveloping all around your shaft and back; the curve of her throat contracting.

You moan - a lot, and louder this time - into the whole feeling. The way her fingers work the distance from the base, twisting and twisting and twisting into the pout of her lips; or how the sound is like nothing - a whimpering, messy sound - almost a whine and definitely not a slurp as your cock sinks further and further, until it's all one big, heavy throb.

And it's like Hyeju can read your thoughts, the visual you have of her lips screwed tight around your shaft - cum leaking from the corners, and her eyes scrunched up tight, as she looks up to watch your face unravel - this perfect image of her taking you, all of you, swallowing each drop as your hips start rutting up into her and - and - and.

Or else she gets impatient, because then Hyeju gives one long pull off the tip of your cock - saliva mixed in the precum there, and that shiny string of fluid hanging, caught in the middle between your bodies - a disgusting and irresistible sight. Her jaw slack, lips swollen and full, and her mouth gone wide open, wanting.

"Fuck - that's good. Don't stop," you start to whimper, desperate, at the sight, the smell. Her hot breath coming quick over the red wanting wetness left behind - then touched by the cold air - fuck -

She slaps your cock to the corner of her lips as she speaks.

"Can you believe what's going on down here?"

"God, can you -"

"And to think most guys wanna jump straight in. That or fuck a load out between my tits."

"Hyeju, shit, come on -"

She kisses the soft tip, right where it’s most sensitive, rolls it along her lip. Then, back down the length of your shaft where she's generous with her mouth inch after inch - lapping, licking, laving - and Hyeju begins working her way down and downward, nestling in at the edge of the bed and between your thighs.

Your eyes blow up the first time she dips low enough to put your balls in her mouth. 

“Mmhm,” she hums.

It’s killing you and she knows it; it’s killing you and she can feel the pre-cum leaking from your slit - the thumb she has moored there, keeping everything right where she wants it, running circles up the length with such little intention - she could bring you to the end just like this. 

"Am I supposed to believe it?” she asks out from beneath the shadow of your cock, looking up at you with her eyes all wide and brilliant - pupils dark as sin. “That not a single one of those girls ever did you proper?"

You curse under your breath. Hyeju seems amused, at least, like she can't help but love doing that to you, which is almost worse and honestly the sexiest thing a girl can be. You groan - wanton, raw and desperate and feeling exactly what she wants you to feel when her nails drag along the dip of your hip bones.

"Did they not leave you fucked-up the right way?"

Her wrist flicks out these twists and turns, making your spine bend to her control. Like even when you're sure to be bundling her hair in your fingers and fucking the whole length of your cock down her throat, all of this is the worst kind of power-trip for her - not the other way around.

Her tongue runs through the tangle of your balls, slowly, lasciviously, as though the plan is to memorize and map every detail. 

And the worst part is, how much it's making you desperate for the warmth of her mouth - where she'll run her tongue up and down and over and around and inside - before sucking you off nice and slow.

"Or maybe," she laughs; another flick to the top and then suddenly her hand goes faster and the fist pumping the rest of you tightens. "They left you so needy you're resorting to having the bestie suck you off so that you won't be desperate the next time you date. Oh my god-" 

Hyeju breaks into this fit of laughter, and you're nearly cross-eyed at the feeling of your entire existence - not just your cock - so wholly held within her mercy, and her pity, and you're breathing so shallow now you'd think this is the real reason people have died and will die - this exact moment where you're choking and stuttering at the edges, so very close to cumming and going absolutely bonkers with how good Hyeju is with her hands, her tongue, her mouth - everything - how much she's wrecking you, and your jaw drops, wide open, her name dripping like molasses off your lower lip.

"Are you going to cum?" she asks, curiously. All as if she can't see you nodding, collapsing under pressure, and then and there: "should we make it official?"

Her nose tickles the seam of your balls. And your toes begin to curl and uncurl - all this anticipatory, coiling pleasure burning from her throat, shooting from the pit of your stomach; the tightening spiral, twinging and stretching every nerve - as her lips enclose around the end of your cock, softly.

And oh, just excruciatingly slowly.

You watch the irresistible shape of her mouth travel down until her throat feels so incredibly, beautifully, and unbelievably tight, and then, just like that - Hyeju starts fucking herself onto you; pushing forward and down the full, rigid length of you, hard and fast - each time hitting deeper inside her - all that sticky, messy, wet squelching.

"Unh-unh, yeah. Unh. Mm-!" you say, or moan, or some animal version of that, maybe, it’s incoherent.

But regardless:

It's messy and your hands scramble for purchase in the sheets of her bed when you feel that snap, the tightening of a trigger; when your balls roll up and it builds, and builds, and it comes faster - harder and -

"Hyeju," you pant, and it sounds so, so filthy. "I'm gonna cum, if you - gonna cum-"

Hyeju pulls you free from her lips, quite possibly at the most final of final moments, to rub the base up and down, just right, between her fingers. Your cock is resting right on her cheek when it all happens. When she squeezes her fingers around your balls just enough to hear you wheeze and make a sound no sane man should have the right to. And fuck, you're cumming all over her face - or just one side of it - which is already just -

Okay, fuck.

She makes a startled sound and her fist closes tightly around your shaft when you pump another fresh load of white up onto her eyebrow.

"I'm, ah-shit," your mouth moves faster than the blood in your veins - and now the shame - oh god, the humiliation, it's pulsing right behind you. "Hyeju," you apologize.

Only, Hyeju has no interest in any of it. She doesn't seem offended or disappointed in proportion to how you're ruining her pretty face: "no, just do it, cum wherever you fucking like."

Which isn't what you're expecting at all, because Hyeju makes no effort to close her lips, let alone avoid any of it; nor is she making a fuss about the sticky mess in her hair, her mouth, nor as another stream of cum throbs from your cock, all tangled up in the long dark eyelashes that sweep down across her cheek.

It’s fucking filthy: you're cumming all over her and she's just kneeling there, telling you, "good boy."

See, she pushes through it, languidly - all those filthy sounds, and those watery little tears gathering at the edge of her eye and all of that, mixing up together until you're rolling your head back with your orgasm, shuddering, feeling weak - drained dry -

Except,

Hyeju's pushing a finger to your chest, kneeling up tall from the side of the bed. She turns her body toward the center of the bed and wipes a bit of the cum on her knuckles into the sheets. Here you feel like you've done something terrible or at least regrettable, like that last round at the bar when you have a test the next morning; a dick move, all of the sort that requires apology.

"You gotta give me a minute, if you're thinking about hopping on."

"Hmm. Sounds like a lot to ask."

"Wait," you grab her arm. Hyeju grins and there's nothing stopping the shake of your knees now, that weakness between your thighs: "let me get you a drink."

"Or."

"Or?"

Her tongue peeks out, running along her upper lip. Her eyes drop again, hands dipping below, beneath the hem of her shorts and oh. She slips a hand past her bra. The whole outline of it. And you -

"Mm, I could show you what that actually means." She lowers her chest, her breasts, and a lot of skin to the mattress while keeping your cock firmly in her hands. "That look tells me you wanna stick around a bit. Stay up past New Year’s, you know?"

You're almost unable to parse her words, there is so much to look at: the jutting curve of her chest, cleavage pressing into the mattress as her body settles between your knees. A soft chuckle; a sigh: "you are seriously the best lay, no-one else can get hard the minute after they just fucking exploded all over me-"

"Fuck, watch it," you hiss, because there's oversensitivity - and then there's Hyeju's mouth on the line of your cock, polishing you clean.

And it’s not that she isn’t trying to prove a point. Or that she's not trying to tease - that's an inherent quality of her character: a naturally dominant position with a high appetite for your lust. That much, Hyeju gets from you, whether you've got your head down between her thighs or the other way, too, so that her neck is arched around and her ass pushed up high in the air, legs open, and if she had any idea you would spend the next twenty minutes or more just going down on her, licking into her creaming cunt while two fingers work over her aching clit, then really, Hyeju would only encourage it - maybe get on top, force you to gag - and so you don't know where it comes from - how and why you want nothing more than to drive your fingers inside her and work her until she's a wet, squelching mess, not when this was always Hyeju's role of being the aggressor; and yes, sure, even the aggressed.

Surely not because you came so hard, still somewhat shivering with the remnants of a rather abrupt, painful, sudden and all-consuming orgasm.

"We're not doing anything else," she says, lips pulled up into a smirk right at the crown of your cockhead. But before you can respond she pushes a hot open kiss, and goes lower. She presses the flat of her tongue to the seam, just below the head. Licks a line right up to the tip and finishes with a tender flick that sends you fisting the bedspread in your fingers and leaning back as your mind begins to disintegrate -

"I'm not going to ride you yet, or going to get my hips in your hands so you can fuck my pussy real hard until I cry and pass out. Nothing of that sort is gonna happen." She licks one long drag of her tongue. Then, the other way. "I want to make this very clear: this isn't some huge favor - and if you want it - want it so bad, you can stay there and I'm going to do everything for you. We will get there - together," and with her voice shaking as she brings the wet, glistening skin of your cock just inside her mouth, she looks up. "We'll get each other off, just like this," and it's the deep, dark, throated moan that makes your thighs and all the nerves in between stiffen and buck when she swallows you again.

Hyeju's hands tug, pull her whole body closer still as it slowly bends, curves - her ass raised, her stomach lying on the bed. Her mouth takes you another few inches, until the tip of her nose is barely visible, but when she pauses to lick the cum still left over - the cum that's starting to leak out again - to breathe through it, then squeeze her palm and bob her mouth down, take another inch, until the sides are stuffed and emptying out again, that's when she finally has something to say: "got anything left? I'm a little starved."

"I. Christ, yes-" you whine, which doesn't help your case at all: the image, the image of you lying flat - back with Hyeju's head tucked between your knees, her hand pulling out your cock.

Sloppy, slimy-wet.

She presses an innocent, not-at-all-innocent kiss right to your tip, puckering - 

"You know what I did learn in that genetics class?" she muses, tongue flicking over her lips. Hyeju's about ready for a second helping - you're losing it. "When I first saw that DNA diagram - the double helix and all those little base pairs, and everything - it made me think of your cock. Your cock and me. Specifically our DNA. Did you know-"

She presses her palm over the head and rolls it - teases and strokes her palm - her knuckles - her fist - the whole nine. "When I hold your big fucking cock, mm, and just get it right - up in here, rubbing all along my walls - so deep, it gets me in my fucking ribs, makes me choke like I never been choked before, ah-mm," and it's this thought sliding toward the front of your mind, this perfect picture: Hyeju, getting fucked hard and open and stuffed full and stuffed good and stupid; you’ve got more than a few inches on her, can make her feel small and delicate; you know how to do her right.

But here you have Hyeju stroking the shaft - holding her hand tightly up near the head, rolling and twisting and sliding down and pushing her whole body right into the side of your legs: the soft, solid length, warm flesh and curves everywhere pressing into you.

You sit back, and just watch Hyeju with her eyes cool and composed, like half of her fucking face isn't streaked with your cum, mouth wrapped and looking fucking satisfied to be a total, gorgeous mess. She makes a dramatic display of kissing the tip again, just before telling you words you probably dreamt up at some point - either sleep deprived, or, during three AM jackoff, fantasizing. "Sometimes, just from riding your cock, I can't sit up straight."

"Fuck," and you feel your whole body run rigid, because apparently that's something you’ve been aching to hear.

You're covering her mouth again. White streaking onto her lips - where she's catching it in the well beneath her tongue and letting it spill out of the corner of her mouth. Into the crook of your thumb, which catches a drip here and there and rubs it down the length - down the curve - and pushes it back between Hyeju's pert little pout.

"Doesn't count, mister, just more pre-cum," she says, all with the audacity of a wink and smile; her words are a little garbled around the head of your cock between her teeth. And when you nod and realize just how painfully your jaw hurts, your throat becomes tight and raw, a knot pulling the underside from the center. Hyeju slides her lips lower, lower down, to the hilt and stays there, just like that - one hand holding down the flat of your belly to keep your hips still, her chin hanging - bobbing-as she feels every pulse, every twitching shift. You curl one hand around the side of her face, over the sharp edge of her jaw; rub a thumb into the delicate skin of her throat.

She shifts. You start to tell her what you like: how hot the rush comes when a girl puts her tongue against the slit at the very tip, and licks at the precum in nice, quick circles, soft and fluttering. And how her fingers shouldn't hesitate either, Hyeju's not even struggling to give it to you - god - just giving and -

She jerks her head up, swallowing down her next breath like it's one of her last. "I'm serious, if you're going to fuck a hole, start with my mouth - we can move onto everything else after."

"You're ridiculous -"

She meets her lips to your head, kissing once. Again. Kissing every inch, letting her mouth wrap around and then just - staying, just - staying like that and humming, with you, enjoying the fullness, the smell of you, the taste, the shape, just the weight and size and you.

There is spit fucking everywhere.

And if it's not clear what you're supposed to be doing - her fingers weave through yours, squeezing hard at the wrist and you can imagine: pulling her forward by her hair and holding her down while she chokes on your cock. "Fuck, Hyeju," you say, and your voice comes out way shakier than you'd like, "when, how did it get like this, huh? You always - always did, shit, always want your mouth filled."

"Never figured you to be someone who'd get turned on watching their friend sucking their cock like this."

"Doesn't everybody love the sight of their cock in a pretty girl's mouth?

"You were really convinced they weren't lining up behind you? Or anyone in the queue who can't keep their eyes off of this thing. Tell me, and try not to lie, try not to bullshit this one out: how many girls have you come home and fucked and creamed their brains out - then asked for the sloppiest, most -"

"Honestly."

"- Filthiest, nasty, ball-busting, gut-wrenching blowjob ever to make them think - to make them really start wondering what the hell it was you did - like it's gotta be something that leaves them so ruined, they can't ever not compare - can't ever not compare this moment, right here. Ever. When you give them the hardest fucking of their life, compared to any other guy - can't not, because no-one, literally no-one's cock can fuck like you do-"

"Fuck-"

"Any harder. Come on, seriously, tell me it isn't true. Come on."

Her voice - her fucking words, the tone she uses and how her words roll: honey-warm and soaking with sweet, thick degradation - she talks like sex, and that's exactly what gets you harder, like it’s something else; like it’s nothing, like it’s less, so much worse - you feel this guilty-dirty heat pool at your tailbone and push down the hard press of you throbbing all the way to her nose. And Hyeju smiles as much as she's capable around the fat, round stretch, humming around the warm taste of you, before opening wide and sinking her throat on it.

There's nothing like it.

You've got two fists in her hair; she's so tight and wet around every god-damn inch. Her cheeks flush - hot to the touch; her tongue laving in slow, long drags, slicking your shaft nice and warm until you're balls-deep and pushing her further: a small shift to the hips, a push here, a harder, faster pull, and Hyeju's feet behind her go curling like an angry cat, wanting the tug.

A long, satisfied breath slips from the hollows of her throat.

There are tears threatening, thickening her lashes, and though she doesn't choke - you're just afraid. Every sound that she pulls out, her eyes blinking up to you as if it's only natural to love getting used by her friend's cock, like the very premise of it - swallowing down the very shape of you, dragged over her tongue and brushing cum into the back of her throat - is something she can’t go without.

But this is nothing compared to the noises from where her lips are pressed tight around you, where you're hearing and even feeling:

That gluck, gluck - where her chest spasms just the slightest when her nose gets nuzzled right into your belly and you remember how much she likes to hear you talk dirty, how fucking wet it gets her. The heavy, deep breaths, gasps; the strangled moans when your hips just buck - the heat and the thrill, and this is better than every other time because there's just something in this moment -

"I'm not gonna come again, not like this. Not in your mouth. You can’t-"

But Hyeju refuses to hear a word; just pumps your shaft faster, feeling it's familiar hardness grow and throb and ache and retch, all her effort paying off: you're slick with precum and spit, hard and straining, the whole shaft begging for release - all because of her. And Hyeju won't stop, she pushes her cheek onto your thigh and then taps a hand there to pull your hips. The motion drives your cock further still inside her. Until it’s bathed in her spit, your cum, all this mess.

Until it's reaching, choking her, and the muffled sounds she's making are filthy and wet and so incredulously hot.

But god. Hyeju has something of a temper and a habit, too: with those big beautiful eyes and the perfect plump of her pouting lips, her tits swelling up around, when your grip slips on her shoulder, and her mouth goes tighter - how the pleasure begins to make you unbearably cruel and you push her away from you, only for a second -

She doesn't wait or seem to care; Hyeju follows the cock with her whole head and whimpers so hotly in her throat when it plops right back on her tongue. "That's more - more like - fuck, oh, there we go," her nose and fingers prodding.

You groan through a high, strangled whimper, a helpless shiver that turns into an uncontrollable roll of the hips - you can't believe it: she's already so thoroughly debauched and defaced; just fucking painted with it. Your cum dripping off her chin and rolling down her neck.

"Fuck - gonna make me - ah, Jesus -"

When Hyeju seems to have reached her fill, the feeling, you're cumming - pumping the length of your shaft. And the moment she feels you twitch and throb and that first hot spill lands in the bend of her mouth, it's as if she understands and holds herself tight - her legs going stock-still while your eyes blow up behind her, your cock spewing another and then another thick, milky load into her mouth, over her tongue: all along the topography of her throat - sticky cum landing in every ridge and valley -

Hyeju catches as much as she can. What little she can. You cum and pump and gush so much that when you're finally finished - done - every last drop spent and given - your cock throbs soft between her fingers; her chin is a complete and utter mess and her chest heaves with the sound of her catching her own breath. Hyeju groans softly and just swishes the load around in her mouth for a bit as if wanting to remember its feel and weight before lifting her eyes to look into yours. You can just barely see the color.

"Jesus, Hyeju-"

The entire bit of it, slick and shining-wet. With a small moan, a sound from the back of her throat: one swallow and the cum is gone, disappeared, vanished. She smiles like she didn't just ruin your entire goddamn life and, with her body limp and exhausted beside you - her gentle hand rubbing a flat stroke over your thigh before yours slips up to meet her chin.

"You," you curse and roll your eyes, catching the mess at the edge of her jaw, the very little left in the corners of her lips. You feed the cum over her bottom lip - her chin, her throat - watching your friend: Hyeju's throat, bobbing. "Really didn't have to," you start, but you realize just how useless a point it is to make.

She's smiling and biting and showing you what's left between the tips of her canines. "Do you always do this to the people who suck you off?"

"That's an awful habit. A pretty girl's lips aren't meant to get that messy," you reply.

"Oh." She frowns. "Well, I do a lot of things I shouldn't."

"God, seriously," and you think there's no greater hell, no sweeter pain than whatever's lingering in these little aftershocks - this fizzling and dying sort of pain, where the body is buzzed with all you're aching for. It's impossible to stop this train of thoughts, is the fucking feeling of her-

But just then, Hyeju rises to her knees, a new spark in her eyes, as she grabs ahold of your wrist and tugs you off the sheets, a few inches closer.

"And you," she purrs as she drags the palm of your hand across her neck and collarbone, collecting what remains and making the perfect image, "well - you are going to help clean me up, like you said before." She sits tall; the arch of her spine is pronounced - her back, so, very, slightly tapering, to where your hand slips right off the last of it: the wide flare of her hips. "Now isn't that the gentleman's thing to do?" she asks.

"Of course." You sigh, resigned and in desperate need of water. "Of course," you add and smirk a little and slip your hand lower, toward where her skin is getting hot, and her body, "let's get you clean."

"Mm." She's already grinning. "You know what wasn't in those textbooks?"

"Oh, I can only guess." You bite your cheek and start to lower yourself back. "Give it a try."

Hyeju drags you by the wrist toward the hall, the bathroom, ostensibly the shower -

"There's no way in hell you don't want to put a baby in me, like, right fucking now."

"Is that what we're doing?"

Hyeju makes a face like you're stupid - she might've grabbed a towel on the way out. She wipes her chin a little while walking - the corner of her mouth where, well - where it looks like a little dribble has somehow remained. "No. But you’re going to fuck me like it is."

-

(There's got so much on her mind. 

The door of the shower rattling in its frame as she struggles standing up against it. Getting fucked so fast and full, the feeling of both your hands cupped beneath the weight of her breasts. It's not the fact of where you are and your situation, per say - more about the immediate, the imperative nature. About fucking you. She was already feeling herself like, leaking the moment the door shut, so all that waiting, all that patience, really - and it's what drove her insane when you were, well: like that, after she put her mouth around your cock, made a right and proper mess of herself, and sucked you off.

Though there's less on her mind, clearly, when she cums all over your cock.

She's crying with her tits up onto the glass, your palm holding her ribs. Your cum-slick cock working itself hard again as it slips, back and forth, as you're fucking her open, spread apart. It's your finger in her asshole. That's what's on her mind then. How the press of your knuckle lights her entire fucking spine on fire - how the other hand finds her clit in all this, too, when you're no longer supporting the both of you but rather Hyeju is folding on her bent knee and trusting, on shaking and shivering, raw nerves, that you're not going to collapse.

"Fucking. God, please-"

There's the harsh slap of flesh - skin on wet skin, your palms against the sides of her ass and the curve of the breast. But otherwise - it's you, sighing - soft and gentle, like you can't get over the feel of her. "Hyeju, oh-fucking, god, fucking," is what you're saying, and it doesn't end up really mattering which one of you came last because she can feel you twitching, squelching in and out with how badly you're wanting to explode inside, but also you can feel her cunt absolutely begging, this fucking fluttering and clamping down on every thrust and the moment you manage to grind this angle she loses her ability to speak properly because you're not just, like - fucking her-

Just, absolutely, completely pounding her pussy, stretching her insides, dragging and sliding along the walls; each rough rub and thrust makes her knees quiver until her body is trembling and falling. But mostly her voice, the sharp gasp that shakes into her, how her nails are scraping the walls of the shower stall and she's saying - telling, crying and asking and wondering and pleading - just utterly astounded:

"Amazing," she huffs, breathes coming out cloudy and true onto the pane of glass, "you - it’s, fucking amazing.")

-

“And I am… Ironman.”

Your eyes flicker awake, hazy, as Tony Stark snaps his fingers, killing himself alongside Thanos’ army in the process.

The TV's long been running on background noise, though not as ambient. Its characters now bickering between the rubble and ruins and being picked up for the end credits. In the dark of the screen, you see Hyeju had nodded off and slumped over the side of your body. A new year means new beginning means resolutions and diets and gym routines -

Maybe no sooner than the sun can come up, apparently.

You lean over to grab your phone from the table: 4:14 A.M.

There's a lot of things you want to say, even more you want to hear, but your mind has begun to settle a bit - a lazy and dreamy thing that fills you with this sort of, tired kind of - not sad, or empty - no, of course not. That's hardly fitting; not after tonight. You want to wrap this in an idealistic sort of sentiment - maybe hold Hyeju close and let the hour carry you and the comfort be enough to forgive whatever there is to miss: like the fact, it's still really dark, so dark even outside. The moon reflecting off the sheet of snow on the street. And not even a distant dog barking, or car driving by or someone playing loud music in the early hours of the new year.

As the film drifts off into another set of commercials, you slip into an easy sleep that feels effortless. Your head drops, landing on the cushion by the arm of the couch, where Hyeju's hand begins to slip mindlessly across your belly, tickling your waist and causing you to slightly squirm - things are cooling down, but still a little agitated.

"Don't tell me you're waking me up, cause I just -"

She kisses the pulse at your throat and answers, mumbling half-words into the spot below your ear. "A kiss for a new year."

And maybe the world doesn't owe you anything at all.

Maybe it just gave you more than enough.

#hyeju smut #loona smut #loona hyeju smut #loossemble smut #loossemble hyeju smut #olivia hye smut #loona olivia hye smut #kpop smut #male reader #capslocked kinkvember

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

TOW Eddie wakes the fuck up

Summary: I love Eddie being Steve’s bisexual awakening, but there's not enough where it's the other way around. Here's Eddie waking the fuck up in middle of the spring break from hell. Long fic.

Eddie couldn't keep his eyes off of Steve Harrington since he slammed him against the wall of the boathouse. There was this feeling of guilt that he felt in his stomach, and he didn't know to apologize. He never knew how to apologize. That was the one thing his father taught him not to do. Apologizing was always a sign of weakness. Being sorry could never cut it. It wasn't enough for his father. This is why he was choking on his tongue now, why he always choked when he needed to apologize. He knew he needed to do that with Lucas because it was the kind of petty bullshit that his father would have done, and he would have done it without apologizing for it. He wasn't his father.

That was the reason why he couldn't keep his eyes off Steve, right? To apologize for nearly stabbing him in the throat? Eddie was also wrong about what he had originally thought about Steve Harrington, what he had thought about all jocks. To be honest, they never interacted. Steve had never even interacted with people like him the way jocks like Jason Carver did. Guys like Jason always needed to prove that he was better than others. Steve had just didn't care enough to harass others, or maybe he just didn't want to be like that. He watched him before, and he always believed the rumors about Steve, that he was a jerk because it was easier to believe, which made him like everyone else who believed the rumors about Eddie himself.

Now, here they were in the same boat. Literally. Steve was preparing to jump into the lake to find a gate into another world. Mr. Swim team, Mr. Lifeguard. . . Yeah, you couldn't pay Eddie enough to go down there. He couldn't stop watching Steve as he stripped, his eyes trailing over him. Steve took off his sweater and looked in his direction. Eddie could have sworn he saw a twinkle of mischief in his eyes before he threw the sweater at him. Wait. . .did he wink, or was that his imagination? Eddie couldn't stop staring at him at the moles on his back and at the muscles he had. Eddie wondered how far they went down, the moles, and he had a sudden urge to trace patterns into Steve’s skin. Wait, what? Eddie cleared his throat.

"Hey."

"Yeah?" Steve asked, turning to him and looking at Eddie with those damn eyes of his.

"Good luck."

"Thanks."

Eddie whipped out his cigarettes and popped one into his mouth. He didn't get to enjoy it before Robin had snatched it out of his mouth and threw it in the water. She's Steve’s best friend. She is Steve’s best friend. Of course, Eddie had to bite his tongue when Nancy had to say something to Steve, too. Really? Oh. . .was that jealousy? Then Steve jumped into the lake, leaving Eddie to his thoughts. He had wanted to touch Steve. Was he attracted to him? No, he always liked girls, right? He was particularly fond of cheerleaders and their skirts. He had been fond of Chrissy, and it wasn't just sexual attraction. Their little moment in the woods, there was something there. He remembered that balloon feeling in his chest that had expanded the more he talked with her. He had wanted to make her laugh forever. And now she. . .how quick he had forgotten her. This was about Chrissy, and he was having a goddamn sexuality crisis in the middle of a shitstorm. Nope. Nope! He nearly shrieked when Steve finally popped up.

"It's pretty wild. It's more a snack size gate than the mama gate, but still, it's pretty damn big," Steve said.

Eddie focused on what he was saying, trying to ignore the fact that he was all wet and beautiful. Suddenly, Steve was being dragged under the water by a force that they couldn't see. Fuck! Nancy immediately jumped in, and then Robin and Eddie had been left behind on the boat. He cursed before stumbling into the water after them, and then he was in another world. All the adventures he had imagined over the years, the lives he had yearned to live, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to that. . .to it just being imagination.

Eddie grabbed an oar and started to beat the bat like creatures off of Steve, feeling much like a knight saving a princess. Like all princesses that he imagined, they could also save themselves. They didn't always need a knight or a prince to save them. Steve pulled himself off the ground, furious. With his feet, he held the bat down and proceeded to rip the creature in half. Steve gasped, blood dripping from his mouth. Eddie gaped at him. Oh, yep. He wanted to fuck this guy. He wanted to tie him up and rail him into next year. Or let Steve tie him up. Either way, it was the hottest thing he had ever witnessed. Oh, no. . .now was NOT the time to get hard. Think other thoughts. Oh, no, Robin was staring at him. Does she know? She knows! He placed the oar in front of him and turned his hips away. She scoffed. Yeah, she knows.

Of course, getting back through the gate wouldn't be easy. Those fuckers had the gate surrounded and more were coming. They needed to get to Skull Rock. It was closet. Steve had stumbled, and Eddie caught him around the waist before he could collapse. Eddie felt a little victorious that he had caught him before Nancy could. Eddie half carried him to a rock and set him down, kneeling in front of him to check his wounds. He immediately began ripping his shirt to make bandages for Steve, effectively turning his Hellfire shirt into a crop top.

"Sorry, you had to do that," Steve winced.

"Nah, it's fine. I've been wanting to turn it into a crop top for a while now," Eddie grinned as he began to wrap the makeshift bandage around his middle. "I have been dying to show off my sexy belly button."

"Are belly buttons sexy?" Steve asked with a snort.

"Well, I know mine is," Eddie grinned. "And any part of the body is sexy if you try hard enough."

"What about elbows? Can you make elbows sexy?" Steve grinned.

"Oh, definitely, and I must say you've got some really sexy elbows there, Steve," Eddie replied and Steve giggled.

Wow, Eddie was really just swinging right into this.

"Oh. I get Steve because he lost blood. What's your excuse, Eddie?" Robin asked as she hovered over them. "Because that was really lame. Sexy belly buttons? Sexy elbows? Dinguses. Both of you."

Eddie winked at him before helping him up. They hadn't stood very long before the ground was shaking, and Eddie had fallen on his butt, catching Steve in his arms. Eddie's hands landed on Steve’s hips, gripping them tightly. Eventually, the ground stopped shaking, but Eddie didn't let him go. Steve looked up at him from between his legs. Their faces were pretty close together, Eddie realized. He sucked in a breath.

"Uh, the ground stopped shaking," Steve said.

"Right. Right!" Eddie cleared his throat and let him go.

They started walking towards Nancy's house to get her guns, which was still such a surprise to Eddie. Nancy Wheeler had guns? More than one? It was quiet for a minute until Steve awkwardly cleared his throat.

"I just want to think you for saving me back there," Steve said.

"Oh, you saved yourself, man. I just tended to your wounds like a dutiful nurse. What you did was very . . . " Don't say hot. Whatever you do, Munson, don't say hot. Say metal! " . . . hot. It was very hot. I mean, metal. Very metal of you, like when Ozzy bit the head off that bat."

"Ozzy?" Steve asked.

"You know. . . Ozzy Osbourne from Black Sabbath?" Eddie asked.

"I have no idea," Steve blushed. "Sorry. I really only know this one metal band. . . kind of."

"You know one, that's more than I thought you would have," Eddie grinned. "You're just full of surprises. So, tell me about this band that you know of."

"I don't know, have you heard of Metallica?" Steve asked.

"Have I heard of Metallica? I don't know. . . it sounds vaguely familiar," he said thoughtfully, trying not to laugh.

"Stop being an asshole. You know exactly what I'm talking about," Steve told him and shoved him.

"It's only like one of my favorite bands ever," Eddie said, leaning into his space. "So, how does Steve Harrington come to know about Metallica?"

"I was hanging with a friend and their cousin was around, watching a tape of one of their music videos," Steve said and shrugged. "It caught my attention."

"A friend, huh? You're telling me that your girlfriend has a cousin who's a metalhead?" Eddie asked.

"Well, actually, that's over," Steve blushed. "And it wasn't a girl."

"Oh. . .so, you're . . . gay?" Eddie asked. "I was not expecting that. I'm cool with it. I have a friend who's gay and for his sake, I'm not saying who it is."

"Bisexual, actually," Steve shrugged.

"Oh, right. . . that exists. See, I knew that. You know, because of Bowie but I never thought that it could apply to . . . you know. . . ," Eddie replied.

"Me?" Steve asked.

"No! Me!" Eddie said. "I swear, I'm so slow."

"Wait, I thought you just said you were gay," Steve said.

"No, I literally have a friend who's gay," Eddie laughed.

"Oh, so, how new are you to this?" Steve asked. "Because I swear that I thought with the hanky. . . "

"What? Oh, does that mean something? Because I just wore it because of James Hetfield," Eddie said. "What does it mean?"

Steve grinned and proceeded to tell him exactly what it meant. Eddie slapped a hand over his face. Sure, he thought about doing that sort of stuff. . . of being handcuffed and spanked. It was usually a beautiful woman who did it. Now, he was sure that it would Steve in her place or alongside Steve. Shit, both of them at the same time. . . okay, stop thinking dirty thoughts about Steve Harrington.

"Eddie, how new are you? Wait. . . you didn't realize in the middle of all this? Did you? . . . Shit, you did. What woke you up?" Steve said, and Eddie peaked through his hands, breathing heavily. "Oh. Boy, you're really going through it, huh?"

"Shut up, Steve," Eddie sighed. "I'm panicking just a little bit. Jesus H. Christ, have you always known?"

"Yeah, pretty much. I didn't know there was a name for it until a few years ago, but I've liked both for a long time," Steve said and placed his hands on Eddie's shoulders. "It's alright. Just breath with me, okay. We're going to get you out of this and then you can have a nice, long freak out if you need it."

"I don't think that's what's freaking me out, honestly. I am okay with that," Eddie said. "I just don't see how catching this guy might clear my name. It's all about proof, man, and it's hunting season for a freak like me. Even if you managed to clear my name, it's the court of public opinion that's the problem."

Steve pulled him into his arms, holding onto him tightly. Eddie's eyes flickered and he sighed when Steve began stroking his back.

"We're going to figure this, Eddie," Steve said. "Even if we have to leave town to Bonnie and Clyde our way up the Coast."

"I call dibs on being Bonnie," Eddie said and Steve laughed. "I think that I deserve this."

"What does that mean?" Steve asked.

"I'm such a screw up. I sell drugs -," Eddie said.

"So do pharmaceutical salesmen," Steve said.

"I am a third time senior," he replied.

"Everyone learns at their own pace, and everyone really needs to stop comparing each other," Steve said.

"Okay, I just left Chrissy there. I didn't do anything. . . I didn't even try to stop it," Eddie said, as he continued to cling to Steve.

"Can you think of anything that you could have done?" he asked.

"Well. . . no," he frowned.

"Then there's nothing that you could have done," Steve replied.

"I was such an asshole to Lucas," Eddie said.

"Well, I'm not even going to argue with that one because it's true," Steve said. "But you still don't deserve this. You're not responsible for all of this. This is happening because a few years ago, some asshole scientist decided to play God."

"When we get out of this, the first thing that I'm going to do is apologize to Lucas," Eddie sighed.

"I'll be there to see it," Steve said.

"I'm sorry for almost slitting your throat with a beer bottle," Eddie mumbled into his shoulder.

"Nothing to forgive there," Steve laughed.

"I think maybe I am freaking out about the whole being bisexual thing but like in a good way," Eddie said and sighed into his shoulder, moving his face to Steve's neck. "What are we doing again?"

"Well, it looks like you're molesting my best friend for one thing," Robin's broke them up. "It's okay, we'll wait if you guys need to take a minute to fuck."

"Really?" Eddie asked gleefully. "Well, you heard her, Stevie!"

"Okay, now I'm worried that you don't know that I was joking," Robin said.

"Literally another time and place," Steve grinned.

Eddie's arms were burning from being in Steve's arms and he had the sudden urge to fall into them again. There was a deep ache in his chest as he continued to walk towards Nancy's house with Steve. He looked over to see Steve's arm swinging loosely by his side. Eddie swallowed his fear and reached over, taking Steve's hand in his.

"You know, just in case we get lost," Eddie said.

"Good idea," Steve said and threaded his fingers through his.

"You know, Henderson really looks up to you. He said that you're a really good guy, and it just went against my entire Munson Doctrine. No way is Steve Harrington, not an asshole, but you are a good guy. A great guy," Eddie said. "I don't even care about what the shrimp thinks, but I guess I did get a little jealous."

"Henderson really said all of that?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, he also said you were a badass and you were like a brother to him," Eddie said. "I believe it now though. I never would have jumped in there to save your ass. I'm no hero. I'm a coward. I turn and run."

"Give yourself a break," Steve said. "I think there's more to you than you think there is. The first time I went through this, I turned and ran. I came back. When it's truly important, you'll be surprised at what you can do for the people you care about."

"You really think that I have it in me?" Eddie asked.

"Yes," Steve replied.

"Well, there's one thing that I know for sure," Eddie said. "You look really hot in my vest."

After they got to Nancy's, they discovered that the Upside Down was stuck on the day that Will Byers went missing meaning that the guns weren't there. They did discover a way to communicate with Dustin and in his very Dustin way, explained that there was a gate at each murder sites.

"Jesus Christ," Steve said when Dustin snapped at them. "This kid's got to get his ego in cheek."

"It's his tone. Right?" Eddie agreed.

"Jesus, sound more like his dads," Robin said.

"Well, we were going to make you godmother but since you have an attitude about it," Eddie said. "Nevermind."

"I'm sorry! Wait. . .Do I want to be Dustin Henderson's godmother?" Robin asked herself. "No, thanks, I'm just going to have to drop him off at the orphanage when you guys bite the dust."

"Nice, Buckley," Eddie grinned while Steve scoffed.

After they biked to Eddie's trailer, everything seemed to happen so fast. Vecna cursed Nancy and told her his plan for bringing the Upside Down into Hawkins. Nancy had to calm down in the bathroom before their plan to head to the War Zone to get guns to take down Vecna. Everyone was chilling in the living room, going over the plan. Eddie made eye contact with Steve and nodded his head towards the kitchen. He walked into the other room, smiling when Steve followed him.

"So," Eddie said, leaning against the sink. "I'm twenty years old and I've kissed someone only a handful of times. I've never kissed a guy though and I'm kind of scared that I'm going to die without ever knowing what it's like. Knowing my luck, it's going to be me."

"Don't talk like that, it's not going to be you," Steve said.

"You don't know that, Steve," Eddie replied. "If you don't want to kiss me. . . "

"I like you, Eddie, and I do want to kiss you," Steve said and paused. "I'm kind of scared myself."

He moved closer to Eddie, pressing himself up against him. He placed his hands on either side of his neck and slid them up to cup his cheeks. They moved together at the same time, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. It was nice and it definitely made Eddie feel all warm inside. Steve deepened the kiss for a moment before breaking it.

"Well?" Steve asked.

"Hm, I definitely felt something but just to be sure. . .maybe we should do it again," Eddie said. "You know, for science purposes."

"Hmm, yes, for science."

Eddie kissed him hungrily, bring him in by yanking on his hair. Steve wrapped his arms completely around his waist, bringing him as close as possible. Eddie slipped his tongue inside of Steve's mouth, moaning. In one quick swift movement, Steve lifted him and set him on the counter beside the sink. Eddie wrapped his legs around his waist, trying to get even closer. If they got any closer, they'd exist in the same exact space, Eddie thought in amusement. They broke the kiss again, leaning their foreheads together as they breathed heavily. Eddie glanced over Steve's shoulder and yelped. Steve turned to find Max sitting on the other end of the counter, swinging her legs and drinking a glass of water.

"How long were you there for?" Eddie asked.

"Long enough to know you use a lot of tongue," Max said casually.

"Uh, does it not bother you that I was kissing Steve?" Eddie asked.

Of course, Dustin decided to enter the kitchen at that moment.

"You were kissing Steve?!" Dustin shrieked with a grin.

"Jesus," Steve and Eddie sighed.

"Did I just hear right?" Lucas asked, coming in behind Dustin. "Eddie was kissing Steve?"

"Oh my God!" Eddie exclaimed.

Nancy had chosen at that moment to enter as well.

"You were kissing Steve?" Nancy asked.

"YES! I was kissing Steve! Does anyone have a problem with that?" Eddie said grumpily.

"No!" Everyone said quickly.

"While I don't have a problem with you mouth fucking our babysitter," Max said. "I do have a problem with you doing it on the counter where I make the sandwiches that I eat. So, thanks for that."

"Did you really have to say it like that?" Dustin asked. "Really?"

It was all downhill from there. Well, after they gathered in a clearing to prepare for battle, it was nice. For a moment, Eddie sat in Steve's lap in front of the RV and openly flirted with him. For a moment, Eddie felt confident that everything was going to be okay. It felt so final when he had to part ways with Steve, and he didn't want to leave him. Robin and Dustin literally had to pry him off of Steve. Could they blame him? He just got himself an amazing boyfriend. Wait, was Steve his boyfriend?

He didn't have time to freak out over that because once they got the trailer ready, it was time for the most metal concert in the history of concerts. As he played, he thought of Chrissy, and he thought of Steve, who was out there, taking down Vecna. After he celebrated with Dustin, they successfully kept the bats out. Then he was pushing Dustin through the gate. As Eddie was climbing up the rope, he thought of Chrissy again, and he thought of Steve. He couldn't let Steve become like Chrissy. The next thing he knew, he was dying in Dustin's arms. I'm sorry, kid.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Holy shit. Eddie opened his eyes, blinking rapidly. Was he alive? He was fucking alive. How in the hell did that happen? Eddie groaned. Oh, everything hurt. What the fuck? Oh, yeah, the bats chowed down on him like he was a buffet.

"Eddie?" he heard Steve ask.

Eddie grinned and looked over at the angel standing beside his bed. He looked cleaner than when he last saw him, in a fresh polo and jeans. Steve was holding his vest in his arms.

"You'd look hotter if you were wearing my vest, big boy," Eddie said.

"Boy," he heard his uncle's voice and he looked over to find him sitting on the other side of his bed.

"Oh, hey, Uncle Wayne," Eddie said cheerfully. "I like boys now."

"Yeah, I figured. Steve here wouldn't leave you for anything," Wayne said. "I had to threaten to shoot your boyfriend to get himself checked out."

"Boyfriend?" Eddie asked. "Are you my boyfriend?"

"Son, you better say yes," Wayne said, staring at him.

"Okay, even if your uncle wasn't here trying to scare me. . . unsuccessfully, I might add. . . I would still say yes," Steve chuckled.

"Oh, my boyfriend found out your secret, Uncle Wayne! You're not actually scary," Eddie laughed.

"Neither are you, son," Wayne said.

"What? Stevie, defend my honor!" Eddie exclaimed. "Tell him how scary I am."

"You're very scary, baby," Steve said.

"You lying ass," Wayne scoffed.

"By the way, I told you that it wouldn't be you. Also, the real reason that Metallica caught my eye was Kirk Hammett," Steve said, and Eddie laughed.

"You know, I was told by someone that I kind of remind them of Kirk," Eddie said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh, don't you know, Eds?" Wayne asked. "Kirk is your biological daddy."

"What?! Really?!" Eddie shrieked.

"No."

"Fuck you, old man!"

Once Eddie was checked out by the doctors, Eddie made sure the first thing that happened was that Lucas was his first official visitor and apologized for not postponing Hellfire, for implying that he was going to the Darkside. He also made sure that the others apologized as well for not supporting Lucas either and told them that they were more than welcome to tell him to shove it when he was being an ass. As he drifted off to sleep, he felt secure in the knowledge that he would never be his father. . . that he had done more than his father has ever done or ever will do.

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie fanfiction #bisexual eddie munson #bi eddie munson #bisexual steve harrington #bi4bi

[cookiesupplier]

Every Rose Has It's Thorns - Part Fifteen

pairing: Ricky Olson x ofc x Chris 'Motionless' Cerulli

warnings/tropes: slow burn, soulmates, strangers to enemies to lovers, betrayal, angst, fluff, smut, language, panic attack, stalking,

summary: In a world where soulmates inexplicably receive a tattoo that will match that of their soulmate the moment they turn eighteen years old, being famous and covered in very visible tattoos can make finding your true soulmate a questionable fate. For everyone involved.

author’s note: Unbeta'd, readers beware as always lol.

tags: @tearfallpixie @cncohshit @jordynyingling0219 @faceless-mirror @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @wild-child-7747 @witchyweeb34 @black-damask1999 @jilliemiw86 @ilovesamkiszka @lyschko666 @lacktoesandtoddlerants @bngurngheart @collapsedglasshouses @laurpartyprogram

Ricky didn’t drive straight home, no, he just drove, it was probably stupid but he did, he just drove, half freaking out. Thankfully, breathing deeply, he was calm, he was fine, he wasn’t having another attack, no. But did he sit there thinking about the way that Ava had talked to him last time, did he sit there and think of her talking him through grounding himself with his senses, five, four, three, two, one... He didn’t have coffee or tea for one this time... He had gum... So that worked well enough.

Did Ava’s voice suspiciously sound like Talia’s? No comment on that. If it did, it was because of her reasoning that Talia was the one who taught her, he’d blame that, easily done.

Finally, it was when he remembered that he had groceries in his car, food that he needed to get home, some of it needing to go in the fridge, and he soon turned around and drove home. He was being an idiot. At least now he was a calmer idiot.

Shit.

None of this made him feel good, none of this made sense. He didn’t even want to go home.

Finally pulling into his drive though, he swallowed heavily when he saw the other car that was waiting for him there, the person that was waiting for him on the stoop. Double shit. He was screwing up so badly, and now he was probably about to get his ass handed to him by Chris. He didn’t even want to imagine why he was there, but he could guess, the fact he was right now was too coincidental. Sighing, he killed the engine before he got out of his car and moved to start getting his cold groceries out of the trunk. The bags had been waiting long enough, and the sooner he put them away, the less likely anything inside would spoil.

He was lifting bags from his car when Chris was coming up beside him, wordlessly grabbing a couple to help him carry inside as well, of course, he was doing it without being asked, Ricky sighed, damn it, he couldn’t even be annoyed at him when he did that. Couldn’t today he just be a little bit selfish and tell him he was a fucking idiot and walk away and let him deal with his stupidity as he should? Like he really should! No. Course not. It had been a week since the party, and Chris had been waiting for him to do something, and he hadn’t... Well, he had, he’d just fucked it up, at the party.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Between them, he got his groceries inside, and everything was put away, and hopefully, everything that was cold was away before anything had been out of the cool long enough to be affected. Considering it wasn’t too hot out, he thought he might have gotten away with it.

Once it was all done. Rick made himself a coffee, considering he hadn’t gone into the café earlier, offering to make Chris one despite seeing him inside the café.. Met with an eye roll as if Chris didn’t know that Ricky had seen him there, drinking his own coffee already.

“You know I’ve just had coffee with Talia, Rick, don’t play games.. What the fuck, man.. I saw the look on your face.”

Ricky shifted uncomfortably, lifting his mug to busy himself with a scalding mouthful of the beverage, swallowing with a grimace,

“I don’t know what to tell you, I just, I reacted. I freaked, and when I realised what was happening, I got the hell out of there. I don’t know what's happening to me.”

Chris frowned, rolling his shoulder, that didn’t sound like like Rick at all, and it worried him, he wanted to be angry because Ricky was just completely disregarding everything everyone was trying to do to help him, every little bit of advice he was being given. Not to mention talking to Talia, spending time with Talia, she was wonderful, and Ricky, was hiding away like some fucking little goblin, for what?

“Rick, I’ll say again, what, the fuck.”

Ricky looked at Chris, he can’t do it, he can’t keep it in, he can’t lie..

“Something happened, at the party, and I, I fucked up Chris, I fucked up bad, and she, we-”

He sighed, heavily, leaning back against the breakfast bar that separated his kitchen and his living room he set his coffee down while

“We had sex.”

“Wait, at the party, at my parent's house... When? Where? You know what, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know.”

Chris’ confusion was obvious by his rapid words, and the questions, looking at Ricky, Chris could probably figure it out, he’d spent enough time in that house, he’d grown up in that house. He’d hooked up with enough of his partners growing up in that house himself, so honestly, yeah, he could figure it out, didn’t mean he wanted to. The real confusion came with the fact that he’d been having coffee with Talia for the last few days, and she hadn’t said anything about talking to Ricky, about having anything to do with him, which made him think that that interaction and it was not sitting well with him as the reality was sinking in what had happened.

“Let me guess, it didn’t end well. You two fucked, and then you what, ran, or blew her off, or something.”

Rick looked away, his stomach in knots with how easily Chris hit the nail on the head, his voice taking that tone he knew well, and the look in his eyes though, it burned there, as much as Chris was an easygoing guy, there was anger in him when it came to respecting women, and Rick could tell that he was pissed, pissed on behalf of Talia and Rick knew it, and he didn’t blame him. He’d been a fucking asshole just walking away from her like that, no matter what had happened between them. Seeing the two together, it was so clear they’d struck up a friendship, and Rick tried desperately not to think about the sting of how easy it had looked for the two of them together. How happy they had been. The pain in his neck however wasn’t as bad as when he saw it right in front of him.

“Something like that, yeah, I just, I told her it would never happen again, and left her there.”

No, he wasn’t going to say anything about how his soulmate tattoo had been affecting him ever since, how seeing her with Chris had made it flare up when he’d gotten angry, that he just, no, he didn’t tell him that. It sounded insane, more insane than hooking up with her randomly in the guest bathroom of one of his best friend's parents' houses.

Chris looked at him, his face was stone and yeah, he was pissed at Rick, he was his best friend, and dammit, he was completely fucking up with an amazing woman, and if she wasn’t Ricky’s soulmate, he might for the first time in a long time, actually consider dating again. He let out an aggravated sigh, standing straighter, he just left her there. For the love of… that explained why Ava had been so disheartened when Talia had gone home early, feeling sick. Feeling sick, his ass. Made more sense now. Looking at the way Rick was sitting at the dining table, Chris nodded, standing from the table himself,

“Stand up, now.”

“What?”

“Fucking hell Ricky, you either stand up and take me punching you like the fucking asshole you're acting like, or I get Ava on the phone and she-”

Ricky had his mug of coffee down on the counter and standing straight waiting for the punch even before Chris pointed out that the younger man would probably end up castrated before the end of the day. They both knew it, neither of them even wanted to think about it, mess with Talia, and Ava would fuck you over, and Chris, hearing some of the things Talia said, he knew it went both ways.

He flinched when Chris picked up his fist, which just made the crunch when the punch connected to his cheek hurt even more.

“Fuck, Chris! Shit, man.”

The taller man just shrugged, shaking out his hand and stretching his fingers, it was better than hitting out of anger, getting into a fight out of anger, and it could get bad, he was well aware. Chris didn’t want to go down that path, least of all with Ricky, as much of a shit he was acting like, he cared about him too much, he loved him, he was just so fucking out of his head right now.

“You deserved it. Now. Richard Olson, you’re going to listen to me this time, I don’t care if it's in person, or over the damn phone, but you are going to have a civil conversation with that woman. Talk to her. A real conversation, Rick, not just fucking, no matter the temptation.”

This time he didn’t care if Ricky liked him telling him this, he hadn’t liked his suggestions before, but this time, this time he was pushing it, it was getting ridiculous, sex in his parent's house, during the barbecue, really Rick? Not that Talia was bad-looking, if she wasn’t Rick’s- no, no he wasn’t going there, it wasn’t his place, he knew it wasn’t his place. Of course, talking to Talia wasn’t going to fix everything, but he’d figure some other things out. As it was, he kept going with Ricky,

“You never know, you might like her, she’s an amazing woman, Rick, we’ve been having coffee for a few days now. I think you’d like her if you gave her a chance.”

Rick’s whole body went tense hearing how fondly Chris spoke of Talia, the smile he got on his face when he said she was an amazing woman. There was no way he could admit to the way his soulmate tattoo burned something awful with the irrational anger that ripped through him as he picked up his coffee to drink, distraction, he needed a distraction so he didn’t hit his friend for talking about her like that. It was bad enough that he could barely see Vinny lately without risking running into Talia while she was staying at his house, but now this? He missed hanging out with Chris too, and she wasn’t just worming her way everywhere in his life, but now under his skin, how the fuck did he dig her out?

Talia didn’t bother with an Uber today, having found her way around town enough, she enjoyed walking. She did a lot back home too, and today she felt comfortable enough that she had decided to walk back to Vinny’s on her own two feet. Walking gave her time to clear her head every day, and while today had felt like a good day, something felt off, she couldn’t quite place why. Chris had seemed a bit preoccupied before he left, not to mention, through their time having coffee, a part of her wondered if she was being stupid going for coffee with him at all.

He was one of Rick’s friends, but at the same time, he was one of Vinny’s friends too, and it could affect Ava’s situation. It was complicated. Chris was an attractive man. Any other situation, maybe these afternoons having coffee, and she might be working up asking him out on a date. He was funny, smart, great taste in music, and yet, being around him would draw her even closer to Rick, and that thought was even more painful and treacherous for her heart. Not that being friends with Chris was horrible, considering she had no intention of abandoning Ava here alone. They could be friends, she wanted to be friends.

As she was walking, she was about halfway down Vinny’s street, well aware of his address now, since the party she committed the address to memory, and saved it permanently in her phone. She was not going to be caught without it, no chance. Not that it mattered now she was learning her way around, which was good if she planned to come back here, and considering Vinny was now such a big part of Ava’s life, she would, she could promise you that. It wasn’t that far from Vinny’s house when she felt a surge of heat through her soulmate tattoo again, her neck just suddenly burning up out of nowhere. She’d felt it a little at the café, just for a moment, but it had calmed down quickly, but not this bad though, this time made her cry out, her hand moving to her neck, fingers curving around it.

This wasn’t the first time it had happened this week, the tattoo flaring up, not that it was always painful sometimes, it felt good sometimes too. Oh, oh, it felt wonderful, the kind of good like it had felt in the bathroom when she was Rick. Something was happening, and she didn’t know what was going on, and it was making her head completely spin around. Whether she was thinking about him, or feeling her mark react… it certainly made her think about him… something, something was happening. What was she supposed to do?

Who was she supposed to talk to? Was this normal? She’d never heard of a soulmate tattoo doing this. She had a feeling if Jordan and Kyle’s tattoo had done this, they’d have said something, right? Or if Ava and Vinny’s tattoos were reacting the same way.. Right, right?

Dammit.

Maybe she was finally going insane. All these years, all the years of her family thinking she was a little bit off her rocker thinking she was soulmates with a famous musician and fighting to just be accepted… and maybe after everything that had happened with Ricky now, she’d finally just, broken.

Made sense.

This all started happening when she finally met him. Maybe she’d just finally snapped.

“Congrats, Talia, you made it. Welcome to around the bend.”

Rubbing her neck, the pain seemed to have calmed down, but that didn’t change the reality of what was happening, of what her soulmate tattoo was telling her, whatever it was that it was telling her. She was feeling phantom pain, and yes, phantom arousing moments… the latter was not so bad, but the fact that it came out of nowhere, well…

Sighing, maybe when she went home she’d see about finding one of those therapists that specialised in soulmate bonds, broken ones. She’d talk to Ava, but it felt like it would just be something that could drag her down with Vinny. Sure she was here for support, but with her not soulmate connection with Ricky, she just felt like it was more pressure, and it was such a horrible feeling like she was nothing but a dead weight to her best friend’s relationship.

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

#motionless in white #miw #ricky olson #ricky horror #ricky olson fanfiction #ricky olson x ofc #original female character #soulmates #vinny mauro #fanfiction #miw band #rick olson #ricky horror olson #soulmate au #soulmate #tattoos #ricky olson fanfic #vinny mauro fanfic #chris motionless #chris cerulli #chris cerulli fanfic #fic: every rose has its thorns

[hazashiovo]

Sarcastic number 9 With Aemond please 💗🙏🏽

You ask you shall receive!

"Do you want to fuck me or kill me?"

Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Ps:this is gonna be a bit long, I like flavouring my fics🤭

It was simple, honestly, you and the prince allways one at each others troaths. Even so, everyone could feel the tension between the two of you.

It didn't matter if it was in a room or even outside. When you and Aemond shared a space the air got thiner and atmosphere dark.

It made sense, you being the oldest daughter of Daemon Targaryen, having his blood and a lot of his personality traits.

People often saw your father in you, you even looked alike, the one my problem was, you were a bastard.

The basic story, your father slept with the mom you don't know to this day and had you, he took you and raised you.

Fortunately you looked identical to him, but it was very suspicious that a few years later Daemon showed up with a mini him. Back to the story.

You like your dragon a lot, so that made Aemond pretty jealous. I mean, he had no dragon and you were so happily racing yours with his brother?

Whenever he said your name a bitter taste laid in his mouth. But how good he felt when he got the largest dragon alive, he felt like he kicked you in the face with a bold move as such.

When his nephew,Lucerys, bow your step-brother, took his eye you stood by, simply watching it unfold.

You found it amusing so you didn't interfere.

Because of that, many called you unwell in the head, but you only took those as compliments, making you more unique than Alicent or the other basic people that talk shit at court.

As years passed and you got older, and in many people's eyes, more attractive, you became even more wild.

You adored chaos, violence and having enemies.

Daemon could never be more proud, especially since you disobey him pretty frequently, that kinda sucks,but it shows him your from head to toe his daughter.

Not a day passes that he thanks himself for taking you with him.

What more can he ask?

Most of the time Otto, refers to you as a devil, while Alicent glares in disgust. Oh how you wish to wipe that smug of their faces.

You considered killing Alicent and her father, but than were would be the fun in watching them fuck up everything?

What you found more funny is when Aegon had company over, oh how many times you caught him fucking like a rabbit. He often suggested you to join in which you replied that if you will, by the next morning he will wake up next to his severed cock.

You laughs at face he made, sometimes you terrified even him.

Years went on and Daemon married Rhaenyra. You liked her, she was a nice company. This was, of course after Laena died, you liked Laena to, after all she was the one who gifted you your dragon as a child.

You were taught high Valeryan, but also sword fight and battle strategy. If anyone said anything about you marrying some excuse of a man you or your father would bring their tongue for a collection.

In concussion danger and chaos was written all over you.

Fortunately, you didn't spend much time in kings landing, since your family lived at Dragon Stone.

But the few times you visited you would constantly challenge the second prince.

Making rude remarks, insulting his mother whenever you got the chance.

But now that the king died? Now that Aegon usurped the throne, oh how you waited for this.

It saddened you to hear that Rhaenyra lost her baby,and your half sister.

It even raged you the reason.

You blamed Aegon, now you wanted to kill him.

It's funny how you don't actually need a reason to fuel your urge to kill.

Soon enough, Rhaenyra took the rightful crown, having a lot of houses support her.

At first she wanted to send Lucerys and Jacaerys, but Daemon suggested sending you alone.

"No,we both know how it could end if (Name) went alone, it would automatically start a war."

Daemon smirked, how he loved the reputation you carved out for yourself, but he didn't give up, in fact, he hoped you would start a war. To fuel his dragon blood for adrenaline and murder.

"Than perhaps she should acompany young Lucerys, you never know what could happen. My queen."

Barely convincing her she let the two of you go.

Before sending you, she made the two of you to promise not to go as fighters.

You went as lucerys's protector. With one final hug, Rhaenyra gave Luke the paper with her declaration and send you on your way.

Daemon nodded at you as you smirked, mischief on your face.

Once you landed and noticed Vhagar excitement took over you. If he was here ,it means the greens got ahead of you.

After you were brought inside, your eyes landed on Aemond.

Luke spoke with Boros, but you payd no mind, your eyes stuck on the white haired prince. Next to him stood a girl.

She's ugly, you thought. Even in your thoughts you were mean and unmercifully.

Soon enough things started getting heated. You only snaped back to reality when Boros yelled.

"Remind me of my father's oath?!"

his voice echoed, of course after the master read him the paper. The stupid fuck didn't even know how to read. You rolled your eyes at his tone.

You were so close to cuting his tongue off, he dares insult the queen in such manner?

You acoffed in annoyance, Aemonds eye resting peacefull on your form.

Boros continued,

"At least king Aegon came with an offer, a marriage proposal, what do you have to give child?"

You chuckled, grabing the attention of Boros and the rest of the people in the room, including Luke, who pleaded with his eyes for you to say nothing stupid.

"You call that usurper but when your rightful queen calls for you oath to her you insult her? Even more, dare request a marriage with one of her children in exchange for something you should respect?"

Oh he heard all about you, the vicious chaotic daughter of Daemon Targaryen. He didn't expect you to be here, but he knew you were your fathers flesh and blood, which scared him if he was to be honest, but if course, he would never admit it.

"You have something to say, girl? For what I know there is only one King sitting on the iron Throne, in which your mother claims to be heir but has no throne?"

A smile makes its way to your face.

"Perhaps I should bring your head to my father, but unfortunately not today... unfortunately, I swore not to come here to fight.Lucky for you, my, Lord."

The last words rolling of your tongue with venom and danger lacing them.

Your eyes look over to Aemond, you could notice how his jaw clenched in annoyance.

You only wished to challenge him further.

"After all... This happens to traitors, who work hand in hand with usurpers."

You smile viciously.

"You dare come into MY house and threaten ME?"

The Baratheon's angry voice filled the quiet room.

"Perhaps I should cut your throat in your sleep, my lord~"

Adding fire to oil, you added.

Luke looked so done with you, he knew you shouldn't have come.

"GET out! Both of you now!"

Boros yelled, not knowing if he should feel safe in his own home anymore.

"Wait."

Oh how you waited for this, you turned around, at the same time with Luke the moment you head the white haired princes's voice.

"My Lord strong,"

He continued, oh how you know he was looking for trouble. You smirked, finally some excitement.

"Did you really think, that you could just fly above the realm, trying to steal my brothers throne at no cost."

You stepped closer to Luke,noticing how Aemonds his eye lingered on you for a bit to long.

"I will not fight you,I came here as a messaged, not a soldier." Luke spoke, glancing at you. He saw the mischief in your eyes, and he was eager to leave as fast as possible before anything can go more bad then this.

"A fight would be a little challenge." Aemond spoke silently almost.

"No, I want you to put out your eye," he than took his eye patch of, exposing his sapphire eye. You must admit, it was mesmerizing.

Our allowed your eyes to take in his whole face. You must admit, the prince is handsome. Such a shame honestly.

"As payment for mine." He continued, throwing his dagger at your feet.

Aemond wondered if you would stay aside like you did when he lost his eye, no, he knows better than that, you like action.

You chuckled, moving closer.

"He will do no such thing my dear prince, not under my watch." A teasing smile shows on your face.

Aemonds face turned to fiery rage quick.

"give me your eyes, or I shall take it bastard! "

The prince lost his temper, now charging towards the two of you. Like always, you barely waited for s fight. Unfortunately for you Boros broke the tension, sending his guards to escort you and Luke outside.

You smirked, knowing he won't stop there.

Lucerys quickly made his way to his dragon Arax. Looking around you saw how bad the weather is.

Not long after Luke, you joined Caserion, your pitch black dragon.

Slowly petting his head, you climbee on him.

Soon , both of you were high in the air, Vhagar long gone.

The heavy rain landing drops on you, soaking you up.

Luke seemed pretty shaken up, so does Arax.

"Calm down little one, he shall do no harm to you as long as I breath." Reasuring him, you smile.

After a while flying you notice Vhagars large shadow.

Its funny, your dragon is her egg, would you look at that. Perhaps Caserion would be as large as her.

"Ñuhor līr gūrēnna!" Once close enough, trough the storm you could hear Aemonds angry voice. (I will take what's mine.)

You chuckle, eyeing your cousin/uncle up.

"Tubī daor kepus!"your raging voice answered like a devil. (Not today uncle)

You made a sign for Luke which way to go.

Once Luke was out of your sight you took it upon yourself to distract Aemond.

"Come uncle! Spill your rage in your dear niece! "

You maniacally laughed, having him come towards you.

"The two of you share the same debt, so I shall be satisfied with either one of your eyes. "

Choosing it's easier to fight on earth, you landed on a piece of land.

"Come fight me uncle! I'm craving for some royal blood! " you smirked, grabing only your dagger, as it was easier to move, and faster.

He landed feew meters away.

"I shall take what's mine, bastard."

The class of your weapons made you grin.

"You can try to earn it, brat."

In a quick move you got behind him, slicing his left tigh.

He turned around in a blink of an eye , sword to your neck, which you easily ducked.

Throwing your knife away and grabing your sword.

"This is fun! We should do this more often, ya know, family activity!" You chuckled as your swoeds danced together.

Aemond smirked, he wished to break you, your stupid personality and you charming face and behavior.

"I doubt you could fight me without your legs."

He spoke, a menacing look I'm his eye.

"Oh uncle, you shouldn't speak so inappropriately, after all, do you wish to fuck me or fight me?"

His one good eye widened in surprise of your lews words. You took advantage of his distraction, quickly pinning him down,point of your sword resting on his chest.

"Either way, I agree with either choice you make. Tho I am thinking, if I shall kill you or toy with you more... no, killing you would be dull. But if you ever look for a good fuck, make sure you're not seen entering my castle. "

You released him, quickly making way to your black beauty.

"Until next time, uncle~"

Once again you left Aemond frustrated and annoyed. Also with a little... Problem.

I am so sorry for making those so l9ng but I like adding detail and ya know, giving history to the character?

So like, I have 3 more request and then, I have more ideas for the following days, and also thank you all for 69 followers! I appreciate that people enjoy my fics.

Like the usual, you can find my Master list on my page and you can request whatever you want.

Bay bayyyy!

#x reader #aemond targaryen #hotd x reader #house of the dragon #hotd fanfic #aemond x reader #x yn #aemond x y/n #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen platonic #daemon targaryen father #snarky reader #vicious reader #mischief #house of the dragon aemond #fantasy #dragons #chase

[sukunasun]

I read your "how the jjk men would give it to you" post you made and.... like... surprise dick w stressed nanami sounds *chefs kiss* amazing. I was wondering if you had more thoughts about it bc i havent known peace ever since i read that hc/snippet

i was wondering which piece you were referring to only to realize you meant THAT post....

despite the dark circles and a scowl keeping his face in an ever-constant state of agitation, he’s a picture worth a million dollars, in tight-fitted suits that pinch at the waist, the back of his hand dusting over broad shoulders, poised, prim, lapels ironed flat over a wide chest. built and beautiful and so prudish is he. what is it about nanami the salaryman. his life made up of decimal points going up and down, a strand of hair he finds randomly on his shoulder, and the long, long, hours that build up overtime, a culmination of disappointments and tension unlike any other. forcing him closer to that edge, losing all control.

maybe it's the way his face is lit by a computer screen, by fluorescent lights, looking sickly and tense. he leans back in his chair every 30 minutes and the heavy sighs he lets out, the deep groans, guttural and frustrated sound so pornographic you think he's doing it on purpose. your friends tell you it's the clark kent effect, everyone's into the hot nerdy types, the quiet ones who hide that wild, primal side of themselves. but he is no superman, in fact, he's the complete opposite, he hides nothing and he hones no powers. he's just a man in need of a splurge or something, the desperation written all over his face.

who says things like "make me copies, reschedule my meeting, this coffee is atrocious make sure you use the french press like i taught you" do this, do that, barking orders at you all day without so much as a thank you. well, it’s less bark and more bite really. he's so cutting it's like he could say anything to you just so he gets to sneak in some kind of backhanded comment, unsolicited and uncalled for, an inkling inside you warning you of its hidden meaning.

if he were anything like his coworkers, he could just visit the strip club, pick up a girl on a dating app, find some stranger at a club, a quick fuck, a one night stand. but nanami wouldn’t dare. it's such a shame that he doesn't know how to fuck, wouldn't be able to the way he seems so tightly wound and uptight—mr. 'i'm better than you because i make so much money and i am good at my job'.

not to mention it wouldn't work either because he needs something more, something along the lines of your pretty mouth wrapped around him, taking him all the way inside, choking on it. you'd make him last as long as possible, make him shake and tremble with his hands gripping your hair tight, fisting, tugging hard and he'd keep you there, releasing down your throat. it’s what he wishes for when he stands in a bathroom stall jerking himself off for the fourth time that day and god help him because it’s now a routine, just for the sake of release, mechanical and so quick he doesn't get to savour it. even when he does reach his peak—cum painting his fingers, hot and sticky and so incredibly disgusting when the adrenaline wears off, heartbeat slowing, lips swollen and bruised clamped down between his teeth, his body doused in all that shame—it's not enough.

later in the day he gets off the phone with a client who's been bugging him about buying, selling, about shares, investments, the money's not real and on paper they're making a fortune but nanami knows he's going home with most of it. his patience along with the desire to keep his job is wearing thin. seen with the way a vein bulges over his temples, jaw clenching, his tie comes undone then, tugs at it until it hangs loose. starts to crave a cigarette by the lounge, away from prying eyes, but it's not needed when he looks up and sees you by your desk. “he’s just this guy at the office, you know, the kind that has a stick up their ass and takes themselves too seriously,” he overhears you say on the phone—it’s offensive of course, because you say it with such contempt like he wasn't capable of bending you over a desk, over a leather couch, making you muffle your screams in a supply closet as he fucks you silly. he wants to scoff, you should have been keeping those things to yourself, let alone talking about him out in the open. 

at this rate, he could just pull some strings and let you lose your job but he decides otherwise, walking over to where you are, nanami raises an eyebrow when he stands over your desk. "menial tasks requires less brain power so this falls right within your purview doesn't it, what are you, an errand girl?" he usually speaks in a monotone voice. this time however, it's like he believes himself superior. smug and snobbish.

“i graduated top of my class," you reply with indignation. who does he think he is, was this some weird power trip? he’s always been so quiet, so composed and collected. “and it’s sexist to imply that i merely run errands,” you spit back. if it weren’t for you, he’d be fucked. who organizes his schedule and replies his emails when he could just do it himself. 

immediately, he says “i made the assumption based off your incompetence, not because you are a woman.” then glances at you with his nose upturned. cringing at your gaping mouth, at your shocked expression. “stop staring, you're getting drool all over company property," he plops a few stacks of papers by the edge of your desk and without thinking about the implications of it, pushes them towards you with his pelvis. a lazy thrust of his hips and you look up then, expecting to see a sly expression, just like every other man who work on top floors and smoke cigars in penthouse view board rooms but his face is hesitant, like he's holding back something, "get this sorted, and don't make a mess of it." he instructs, before walking away, striding towards the men's bathroom for...whatever reason, you didn’t know, but he's always disheveled and doused in cologne afterwards.

geto and gojo suggest he meets the daughter of one of their clients but nanami suspects it's just another one of their schemes. “she’s a babe, would be down to fuck on a first date,” gojo doesn’t care that he’s being loud and obnoxious because he has more money than anyone will ever make in their lifetime while geto slaps an envelope against nanami's chest, “here, go buy her something pretty, it might help us convince her dad to invest,” geto says from behind him. he peeks through the opening and finds crisp bills stuffed into it, bursting at the seams.

the woman in question looks more like a doll, she smells like vanilla and her full lips purse when she whispers, "i like you," straddling him and leaving soft little smooches against his neck. it sounds made up because she barely knows him. he looks down at her spread legs and wonders what they'd look like in stockings, the kind you wear, in a pencil skirt and a blouse buttoned all the way to the top. her wavy extensions don't do anything for him, where's the updo, where are the hairpins tucked behind the ear. he doesn't want to hear her praises or her exaggerated moans, she's definitely a professional, a respectable one at that because she does it well but he wants a woman who's careless with her work, who looks down on him, he wants an errand girl—

"don't speak, you’ll ruin it,” nanami groans, and in a hotel room behind closed doors, she does as she’s told. he makes her face the other way so he doesn't have to see her, hear her, he could just deal with the weird, nauseating mix of being unsatisfied later on, feeling guilty when he knows he's using someone else, she's merely an object now, he doesn't care about her or whether she likes him and it's so infuriating that he wishes to prove you wrong because he's made to press up behind you, feel his heart beating beneath the skin, racing and pounding. proof that he has one, that he's made for more than just sitting behind a desk.

so he'll compromise tonight, all until he leaves her in an empty bed the next morning, rushing off to work with geto’s money left on the bedside table.

he's even more of a pain in the ass that morning, breathing down your neck and making sure you're left with double the amount of usual things he makws you do. but also he keeps a distance, going as far as flinching away every time you so much as tap him on the shoulder. this man is on edge, like he's about to implode. "what's your deal, haven't you ever felt the touch of a woman?" you tease, just for fun, even when you know he wouldn't laugh. and he doesn't really, but instead finds himself fucking you against the wall of his office.

skirt bunched up around your middle, he rips into your stockings with his hands, ripping it and pushing your panties to the side, "i'll buy you another more so stop whining," then tells you to leave the heels on and you do. even when he holds you up in his hands, legs propped up on his shoulders, you try to keep them from slipping off. in the reflection of a mirror, you watch his muscled back flex, the walls thudding, and those heels start dangling over your toes from the sheer force, each one of his thrusts, hard and fast and deep, keeps pushing you over the edge.

the first time you come all over him, it makes you tremble and shake, the newfound revelation that he's actually so skilled is one thing but nanami kisses your neck, gently coaxing you through your release. when he moves you to a couch, he sets you atop him, legs spread wide and thighs held firmly in his hands. he adjusts himself behind you and before you could whine from just how sensitive you feel, he pushes himself back inside, stretched and full and so hot. making sure that over your shoulder, he could watch you in that same mirror, and that you'd see him too. you'd see just who exactly makes you feel this way.

and by the time he fucks you by the window, you whimper when you look out then, clear blue sky and bright sunlight, it's a beautiful day out and the street below are bustling with cars and people who are looking to make memories. some colleagues are out for lunch and others are having some fresh air, a seemly normal day, and your heart pounds, fear and excitement creeping up because anyone could see, turn their heads up to catch the view of a woman with her knees tucked to the sides of her head, squirming and bucking as her boss fucks up into her. "i'm starting to think you like this," he taunts when your moans ring out, and it's true because you were running your mouth, making a scene, you believed him to be incapable and inexperienced but now you can't think of any other man who's made you feel the way he does. nanami doesn't care one bit about the exposure, abut public indecency or whatever the fuck they'll say about him, let them see how he makes you come apart, making your mind go numb.

"you did this to me," he snarls into the crook of your neck, how often had pictured this moment and now that it's real, his cock buried inside you, the moans you let out sounding better than anything he could have imagined, and the look on your pretty face while you're succumbing to him, this snappy little thing now submitting herself. "let me know if it's too much okay?" he whispers, biting down on your neck, pounding inside you, feeling your juices run down til it drips all over the carpet floors. he'd make you call someone to get it cleaned, and he'd stress about getting it done on time so no one would suspect a thing but he'd also go back to being a pain in the ass, or maybe he'd start being a little sweet, a little kinder, gentle and tender...until he isn't.

#will i ever be able to outrun that dick post #the way i abhor it...repulsion...im removing it from the masterlist and hope no one ever reads it #jk i do love a good thirst post but still...its what i consider the opposite of a magnum opus #also ive been seeing a rise in nanami stans in my inbox...whats goin on... #i grasp the concept of stocks as a baby would astrophysics so dont @ me for inaccuracies #ask #anon #sunpiece #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fic #saturated #nanami kento #nanami smut #nanami kento hc #nanami kento hcs #nanami x reader

[enhaheeseung]

So basically ppl were trying to sexualize riki, and someone found this message: https://www.tumblr.com/jwonsite/738013651737444352/for-the-riki-smut-writers

then if u look through the comments ppl were saying that it applies to all the members but idk much, just checking to see Ur opinion on it.

Hmm interesting I mean idk I guess to each his own I personally would never write anything for niki or even feel comfortable thinking of him like that but that’s just me plus I’m only attracted to heeseung so there’s that even the older members I’d never write smut for

As far as smut writing goes for the rest of the members I can say there is an extent that I’m willing to go and I know this is gonna sound hypercritical as a smut writer myself but I’ve seen things that just aren’t my cup of tea and I feel certain things could just be left unsaid especially assumptions about how the members are in real life it’s one thing to write fiction but to actually come up and state that (whatever’s being talked about at the time) is real that’s when I draw the line

Also this may sound dumb but I feel like most smut is just tasteless like there’s just no actual substance to what’s happening it’s just boom bang bam smut end and i feel those writers probably shouldn’t write it but this is all personal and I’m not claiming im a better writer in any way

Anyways to answer your question tho I’m 50/50 I do get why people don’t want the members being sexualized (even I feel that way sometimes when it’s just tacky) and I get that others just realize it’s fiction and entertainment that being said I do feel like there’s an over sexualization sometimes and that’s the 50 that I don’t like again I know that sounds hypocritical cause I write smut but there’s just a type of smut/hard thoughts that just disgust me at times (I hope someone else feels like this and I don’t just sound crazy lol)

So basically I like smut when it’s more vanilla and tame not just some wild fantasy that would 99% never happen (not kink shaming tho this is just my preference)

Oh one more thing it’s hard for me to talk about the whole niki situation cause even tho he’s young the people sexualizing him might also be young too it doesn’t make it any better but the fact is unfortunately this is an app that underage people can access as well as other apps with adult content it does suck cause these people are young and probably don’t really see the immediate problem with it but there is indeed things that need to be implemented to protect minors being exposed to this shit and that’s a whole other problem that doesn’t involve niki or kpop but fact is we live in a fucked up world with fucked up things going on and I guess what I’m trying to say is that atp there really shouldn’t be any surprise should we try to stop it? Yes will it happen? Probably not but unfortunately thats just the way it is same shit happened with other idols too I do appreciate the people who call out underage blogs tho it helps keep things a little safer for the younger folk here so yeah even I have thought about deactivating my blog cause I know I have an influence on my readers and minors might be accessing my blog so sometimes it just makes me wonder if it’d be better to stop writing cause if I could protect just one underage person from being exposed to content like this I’d delete this app in a heart beat it’s fun writing but it’s not fun exposing people to stuff they shouldn’t be seeing and I know the whole talk about it’s the parents responsibility to keep kids off sites like this and writers shouldn’t have to quit because parents aren’t doing their jobs and blah blah blah but if you have that understanding that these kids aren’t being taught properly now is where you step in and take that role to be better than the people who raise kids up like that

Honestly I could write a whole essay but I’m sure I have bored everyone else by now

Again I was asked my opinion and this is all just my opinion so do not @ me

#enhaheeseunginbox

[broodwolf221]

a fuller meta post on morrigan because... she's fucked up, absolutely, but i love her so, so much. also this got hella long!

idk all the canon, just learned about witch hunt a few hours ago, etc, but from what I do know:

she grew up in EXTREME isolation in the korcari wilds. she was discouraged if not forbidden from interacting with other people, so the only one there to ease her isolation was flemeth. morrigan also cooks, which you could easily expand to say that she does most if not all of the domestic labor

she's also a shape-shifter, but iirc, even animals were wary of her. so it's not like she could ease her isolation indirectly by becoming an animal and spending time with others of that species

when she stole the mirror - having been spying on the nearby village, just to see how people lived - it was taken away and she was punished. one small trinket from the outside world. one connection to a world beyond the hut she lived in. and remember - flemeth was feared. no one approached, even when the hut was abandoned

her only escape is in learning magic, something she does seem to care about. and judging from flemeth's character, she was likely encouraged to take knowledge by whatever means necessary - while at the same time, flemeth deprived her of contact with the outside world

in a strange way, morrigan and solas mirror each other. both of them emerged warily into a world where everyone else felt like a shadow and had to slowly learn that other people have value

morrigan is tactical, selfish, manipulative, and driven. what's interesting about her is both the why and what of her drive: preservation of knowledge. bc think about it: what did she fundamentally lack, as a child growing up in extreme isolation? knowledge. balanced knowledge. instead, she was force-fed a specific narrative that devalued other people and herself, her feelings and needs

what did she feel when she read flemeth's grimoire and found out that her mother was planning to steal her body, whatever the truth of the situation might've been? the only person she'd ever been allowed to depend on, and then she realizes she was always just a vessel. even the magic that flemeth taught her can no longer be seen as the one good thing she did, because now it's really just to give flemeth a good, powerful body to inhabit. there's no love between a mother and a daughter, even twisted as it might've been; instead, morrigan was just a continuation, a part of flemeth's story. her self immaterial. how utterly horrifying

and even before that, she's just... given away. no choice of her own unless the warden specifically asks her. flemeth just hands her off to these two strangers, puts her in an extremely dangerous situation, estranged from the structure of the only life she's ever been allowed to know, and forced to cooperate with non-mages and strangers and just people, full-stop, each of which is a brand new experience for her

so when it happens again in dai, when no matter who you put on the throne morrigan is just handed off to another extremely dangerous situation, that's so... heartbreaking. she's had so few real choices in her life

in fact, I can only think of one decision that's presumably entirely her own: joining the orlesian court. because, dealing with flemeth? the warden decides. the dark ritual? the warden decides. and I get it, narratively, but it's SO fucked that the warden gets to decide whether or not morrigan has a child

and why does she want to do the dark ritual? for power, of course, but also for preservation. the idea of the old god soul being lost distresses her, just as the idea of the well of sorrows being lost distresses her. she's selfish and possessive about knowledge, about magic, but she's also desperate to save it

I've already mentioned her reasons for so doggedly pursuing knowledge, but what of magic? I think with magic, she's absolutely terrified of it fading from the world. not disappearing, just becoming slowly lost, less important... because magic is the only thing she feels confident about wrt herself. gifted child + emotionally abused/neglected child = a desperation to create and maintain a sense of personal value, a strength, which in her case is magic. I think a part of her still feels like her magic is her, that it's all or at least most of her.

it's also why she thinks she's better suited than anyone else to gain this knowledge. she isn't, but she can't accept that. I think a part of her sees this as her fate, her destiny, to preserve and learn, to make use of the way she was abused and the person she was forced to become. it gives meaning to her life. it's not right, it's not healthy, and it's still reliant on the devaluation of others that flemeth taught her, but it does make sense for her

it's also why I find it so, so fascinating to let her have kieran in dai. she doesn't use him. she loves him. genuinely, deeply. she guides him without controlling him, is openly fond of him, and states that she won't have him growing up in a bog deprived of human contact. what's more... at court, she doesn't let herself become associated with him, because she doesn't want to taint his experience or other people's perception of him. she says at skyhold that most people in court just knew him as a quiet, polite boy. she's desperately worried for him when he goes through the eluvian into the fade. i mean, panicked, even leliana states that she's never seen her like that

and when she thinks flemeth is going to take him? morrigan offers herself, her body. the thing she fought against. the thing she was most afraid of. she offers herself to flemeth in order to save kieran. leliana mentions that kieran has changed morrigan, has softened her, and it's true

she still has all these hallmarks of the way flemeth abused her and following the end of dai, has to contend with the fact that flemeth, her mother, was one of the ancient elvhen, some mysterious entity who's lived on through ages. how does she deal with that? can she? she's the child of someone regarded as a god - how will that impact her? how will it impact kieran? she knows they aren't gods, just powerful mages, but as she says of corypheus, it doesn't matter so much whether they're right (re: godhood) as it matters whether theyre capable. flemeth is capable of things that would generally be ascribed to godhood. and morrigan is her daughter. and was taught that her only value is in her magical ability

will she think nothing can stop her, now? will she start to believe that she might access such power, in time? will she turn her back on it, seeing how it distorted flemeth/mythal? will she turn her back on it because of how flemeth/mythal distorted her and her unwillingness to do the same to kieran?

#broodmeta #morrigan #morrigan dao #morrigan dai #dao spoilers #dai spoilers

[bracketsoffear]

I know The Beast is a very strong contender but I have so many feelings about Baron.

(Credit to @mellohi-plays)

They're a "weird little skeleton boy." They're Riz's Roëmænce Partnær. They want Riz to meet their stark father. They have never gotten a first date. They are still hanging around in a sequel campaign, being creepy in the Baronies.

They're a lie brought to life. They're the fear of the only one who doesn't have anyone else. They're the fear that your friends not really understanding or caring about you and only keeping you around because you're useful and funny. They're the fear of being left behind because everyone else will find somebody more important to them than you do.

Because everyone else is finding romantic partners, right? But you're not interested in that. And you've always been taught by everything and everyone around you that romance is the most important bond there is, whereas what you have with your party members is "just" friendship. You're happy for them, really, and you'd never dream of trying to sabotage these relationships, especially given how hard it's been for some of them to figure out their feelings, but--where does that leave you?

Nobody gets it. You tell your friends you're not interested and they laugh. "Oh, you just need to try it, then you'll feel the same way we do." So you tell them that of course you have a romance partner, like a normal person, which means the fact that you think kissing is less important than adventure is totally normal. You lie to your friends, even though you have devoted yourself to truth, even though you love them so much, because you are scared of being left out. Because even among the people who care about you, who have gone through hell with you*, you are afraid and alone.

Your friends wouldn't give a damn about you, Baron says, if you weren't solving mysteries for them. You friends think of you as a joke and a tool. You friends will all leave you for the ones they're in love with, because those relationships matter more than you. You are not like your parents--your parents who were confident, and suave, and in love. You will always be alone, because you don't feel the attraction you're supposed to.

So yeah, however scary The Beast is, Baron is the one who freaks me out more, because they're literally the embodiment of amatonormativity and aphobia and how isolating it is to be aromantic and/or asexual in a world where even other queer people don't understand or accept your identity.

Also, they're a creepy-ass mannequin with a disturbing Swedish(?) accent who lives in reflections and throttles people, so that's pretty fucked up.

* Metaphorically--although one of them will literally go through hell with you, where you'll piss on a dragon-turned-pirate ship while she'll become a teen mom and an Archdevil to replace her bio-dad who hooks up with your mom, so that's a thing? Dimension 20 is a wild show and that's not even close to the most shocking relationship in that season, let alone the weirdest thing in Fantasy High period.

.

#asks #character propaganda #lonely poll #amatonormativity

[sjsmith56]

Finding Jade - Chapter 6, Finding Jade

Summary: Jade dreams of Bucky after he fell from the train. During the day everyone relaxes in various ways. Bucky and Jade search for gemstones in the nearby wash. The day ends with a bonfire and singing.

Length: 4K

Characters: Bucky, Jade, Ben, Peter, Sam

Warnings: 18+ only, sexual content (p in v), accepting death, cursing.

Author notes: After a disturbing dream the rest of the day was pretty normal for the Avengers.

<<Chapter 5

〰️〰️〰️〰️

It's so cold.  The fall should have killed him but somehow he's still alive.  His left arm hurts so much and he tries to lift it but it won't move.  Painfully he turns his head to his side and sees a bloody mess where his arm used to be. 

"No, no, no...," he whispers.  "My arm, I've lost my arm."

He takes stock of where he is now, at the bottom of a chasm between the mountains.  How did he get here?  His arm hurts again and he screams at the pain.  He fell, that's right, he fell from the train.  Steve tried to reach him but he fell before they could touch hands. 

"Steve...Steve...I'm sorry pal.  This is the end of the line for me."

He looks to the other side and sees he's on a ridge.  There is a sound of water past the ridge.  If he can just get there he can end it.  End the pain.  End the certainty of freezing to death.  He's tries to move but all he feels is pain.  He's broken, too broken to end things on his terms. 

"FUCK!" he screams, over and over again.

A few minutes later he is calmer, more accepting of how he will die, the slow descent into darkness.  He thinks of his parents and his sister.  He thinks of all the women he slept with starting at the beginning.  He was 17, she was 19 and fast.  Cora thought he was pretty and he took advantage of it.  But she taught him a lot so that the next one, a few months later, Jean was her name... she was so pretty and willing, he made her come first and discovered women liked that, made them feel he was taking care of them.  He was sleepy and it was hard to remember the next one.  Beatrice, that was it.  Catholic, had gone to school in a convent.  She was wild for him.  They almost got caught by her dad as he fucked her in her parent's garage, in the back seat of her dad's car.  He wasn't cold anymore, in fact he felt warm and using his right hand he slowly, painfully unbuttoned his jacket.  The effort exhausted him and he forgot where he was in remembering all the women.  It didn't matter, there were so many and they all mixed together into one image.  A strange but compelling face, blonde, almost white hair.  Who was she?  He didn't remember her.  He would have....

"Jade," Bucky whispered, stroking her hair.  "Sweetheart, you're dreaming.  Wake up."

She opened her eyes, confused at first that she wasn't on the snowy ridge anymore.  Raising her left hand she was surprised to see her arm was still there.  Bucky stroked her hair again and she realized she had been in his memories, the ones she had stored during their mental connection.  She touched his face and he kissed her gently, asked if she was okay.

"I'm alright," she said.  "Bad dream but I'm back here with you now.  Can you hold me until I fall asleep again?"

She nestled her head into his arms and he pulled her body closer to him.  His hand found its way to her hair, her soft silky hair that he couldn't touch enough.  Making her feel safe was good, good for him as well.  It calmed him and made him feel needed. 

Now I look into your eyes

I can see forever

The search is over

You were with me all the while

        The Search is Over by Survivor

The word was out about the gemstone finds on the brief search of the wash where the rain had stirred up the old waterway.  A few days after finishing building up the roadway almost everyone wanted to try their hand at finding a treasure in the flotsam left behind in the wash.  Both Jade and Ma instructed people on what to look for.  The best moment was when Ma found gold, a small scattering in a pocket gouged out by the rain.  The metal, being heavy, stayed at the bottom of the pocket in little flakes that most people would overlook.  But Ma had noticed a glint and investigated further, finding the little bonanza.  There wasn't a lot, but it was enough to melt into a tiny rough bar that could go a long way on the next provision trip.   There were even some pieces of driftwood that must have floated on top of the water flow for miles to reach them.  Ma had the guys drag them back to the Bunker, said they could be used for carving, burning in a bonfire or leaving as is for a rustic but meaningful piece of natural art. 

Jade took Bucky out to a section where no one else was looking and they stopped to kiss and caress each other before searching.  He watched her intently as she kept her eyes down to the ground looking for good candidates. 

"Where did you learn all of this?" he asked.

"From Ma," she said.  "I was homeschooled because Ma thought the authorities would come after me.  She has her nursing degree so she isn't unschooled herself.  We used a home schooling organization for most of it.  Ma threw out the religious stuff saying I had already had enough of that.  We went to the Library, she bought books.  Taught herself jewelry making by using YouTube, then taught me.  We've done the same with Ben."

"It's really hit a chord with everyone," he said.  "This wash is full of gemstones and we didn't know how valuable they were.  It took you to show us."

"Fossil!" she exclaimed, running to the side of the wash. 

There were bones sticking out and she dropped to her knees to dig out more of it.  Bucky kneeled down with her to uncover it but they soon realized it was bigger than they thought.  Digging into his pocket Bucky pulled out a small GPS unit.

"We use these in case we get lost," he said.  "The Bunker coordinates are loaded in as home base.  If we get lost we just use this and hike back to the right coordinates.  I can save the location of these bones so that when things get back to normal we can let a university know for their palaeontology department."

"Good thinking," she said.  "Oh look, a piece of jade."

She dug her finger into the soil below the fossil and pried up a small piece of jade.  The top of it had been scoured by the action of the flood waters.  She held it up.

"It's the same colour as your eyes," he said, smiling.  "May I have it?  I have an idea for a project I can use it in."

"A project?" she laughed.  "Anything I should know about?"

"I'm an open book," he replied.  "You know you could always look and find out."

She kissed him.  "No, I'll only go in if you allow me," she answered.

He pulled her close and kissed her passionately, both of them on their knees in the soft sandy dirt of the wash.  His hand was in her soft hair and he caressed her head through it as they kissed sensuously.  When they finished he kept his face near hers, feeling her breath on his face.

"I can't get enough of you," he said softly.  "You mean everything to me."

"You know that I saw this before," she replied.  "I saw us kissing, making love and I wanted to show you all of it but you weren't ready."

"I'm ready for a lot more," he said, kissing her again.

He pressed himself into her and she felt his arousal.  "Later," she whispered and pulled away to stand up.

He stayed on his knees a moment longer before reluctantly standing with her.  She was already bending over peering around the ground.  He fingered the jade in his hand before putting it in the small coin pocket in his jeans.  He could start making the ring now.

As they got closer to the Bunker they could hear Buddy barking excitedly.  A piece of wood flew through the air and the dog came flying near them to catch it before it hit the ground.  It landed near some quartz and Jade went down on her knees to use her fingers to dig it out.  Bucky kneeled down to help and they discovered it was a huge piece, only the tip of it showing above the ground.

"Hold on," he said.  "I've got something that will pry it up."

Running to the workshop he came back with a pick axe and a shovel.  Jade moved back as he hit the dirt all around the quartz with the pick axe.  In all the directions it hit more rock.  Using the shovel he tested the ground to see how far away he had to go before he hit normal ground.  It was over ten feet wide.

"This is a quartz vein," said Jade.  "There's a good chance there's gold in it.  It might be in powder form though.  We can only extract it by crushing the quartz and putting the powder in a pan with water, swishing it around and watch for the gold to sink.  Hit it with the pick axe and see if you can chip a piece off."

She stepped back and Bucky took a swing at the quartz.  He knocked off a piece and Jade took a close look at it but couldn't tell for sure.

"Ma has more experience with gold prospecting," she said.  "You should mark this location so we can come back to it."

Buddy came flying back at a stick thrown in their way and they heard Peter and Ben laughing.  They both shook their heads at the unlikely friendship between 20 year old Peter and 10 year old Ben.  The next time the stick came out to them Bucky picked it up and threw it back at the boys, hitting Peter on the thigh.

"Ow, Bucky!" he yelled.

"You've almost hit us a few times, kid!" he yelled back.  "Throw it somewhere else."

"Good arm," said Jade, as they walked slowly in.  "Were you always this good or is it a super soldier thing?"

"A bit of both," he said.  "Pitcher in baseball, quarterback in football.  The serum enhances the abilities.  Don't know how Steve got so good at it, he was literally the 98 pound weakling.  He was always picking fights though.  Didn't like bullies.  Neither do I."

"We thought of putting Ben in regular school but he marches to the beat of his own drum," said Jade.  "I worry that he has doesn't have any peer friendships.  Even Peter is too old for him, really."

"Peter's been where Ben is," said Bucky, tossing the quartz chunk up in the air as he walked.  "Smart at a young age, socially awkward.  He was 14 when he first kicked my ass.  Then he was lost in the Snap.  So was I, Sam, and Wanda."

They walked without talking for a few more minutes, eyes lowered to the ground searching for gemstones.

"You used the time travel machine that they used to get the stones to go back for Steve," said Jade.  "You weren't even sure it would work."

"Bruce and I took the quinjet to what used to be the Avengers compound in upstate New York," he said.  "We left the machine in storage there after Steve returned to the past.  It was risky, because there was a lake nearby and you know how the Others are about water.  We gambled there were still Pym particles in storage with it and there were.  I went back with an extra suit and enough particles for Steve and Peggy to come back with me.  We thought of going back for Tony, Vision and Natasha but their timelines ended and couldn't start up again in the future."

He stopped and looked at her squinting up at him in the bright sunlight.  Never had he dated a woman who looked like her.  Most of the blondes he had known were bottle blondes, but hers was the real thing. 

"What?" she asked.  "Do I remind you of someone?"

"No," he replied.  "Most blondes I knew were bottle blondes.  Your hair is natural and so much more beautiful.  Were your parents this blonde?"

"I think my dad was," she said.  "I have no memory of what my mother looked like.  Ben looks more like his dad.  Do you want kids?"

"Someday," he admitted.  "I was pretty wild, chased a lot of girls, but I always thought I would end up with a nice wife and family after the war.  HYDRA took care of that.   I, um... never mind."

He started walking again, holding the shovel and pick axe in one hand, and Jade smiled.  He had broadcast his mind pretty openly in that little pause and she knew he was going to ask if she would have another.  She jogged a little to catch up with him and put her arm around his waist.  He smiled and put his free arm around her shoulder.  They kept walking, stopping once in a while to pick up an interesting looking rock.  The time they spent together was pretty tame by entertainment standards but they were both content and happy to be in each other's company. 

"Have you learned to ride yet?" she asked.  "I've been out a few times and I like it.  When Clint goes home I'm going to take over looking after the horses.  Maria has been helping as well."

"I've been out a couple of times," he admitted.  "It wasn't pretty.  I am a city boy after all, Brooklyn.  A motorcycle is more my taste.  I rode one sometimes when I was the Soldier and I remember feeling free on it."

He heard his name being called and he saw Ma waving to him.  Jade either didn't hear or was ignoring her mother.  Looking at his watch he realized he was a few minutes late for an appointment with Ma to teach him how to make jewelry.

"I just remembered I have a meeting," he said.  "Can I catch you later, before supper?"

She nodded and he bent over, kissing her sweetly.  He took the quartz from her and took it with him.  Ma thought messaged him that Jade was watching so he went inside the Bunker instead and met Ma in the workshop by going through the interior door.  Jade turned away and headed for Peter and Ben instead.  They asked if she wanted a bonfire with some of the driftwood, in the interior courtyard. 

"I'm pretty sure we have the fixings for s'mores," said Ben.  "We would ask but us being kids Steve might say no."

"Let's go see if we have the fixings first," said Jade.

She went inside with the boys and sure enough there were marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate chips.  Next they had to find Steve and they brought it up to him.  He actually liked the idea but when Jade said she wanted to look in the workshop for something to use for toasting forks he said he was headed there and would look himself if the boys and her would bring the wood around.  Peter was breaking the wood apart with his hands thoroughly impressing Ben.  Steve met them out there about ten minutes later with coat hangers twisted into toasting forks.  The plan was made to start the bonfire just after sunset at 7 pm.

After such a beautiful day supper was just as good with everyone in the common room laughing, joking and eating.  It was Sam and Maria's turn to cook and Sam had made jambalaya.  He made two pots of it, one spicy and one not so spicy.  Jade had never had it before so she had the not so spicy.  Bucky, eating the spicy version, rolled his eyes after the first spoonful.

"Sam," he yelled.  "God, I've missed your cooking.  No one makes jambalaya like you."

"Thanks man," said Sam, genuinely pleased.  "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Too long," said Bucky, standing up and coming to him.  "I'm sorry.  I'm truly sorry."

Sam looked at him for a moment, then nodded.  "So am I, brother," he said.  "I've missed you.  It's all in the past, agreed?"

Bucky nodded and the two men became friends again, giving each other a pound hug.  Steve looked at Jade and smiled, nodding his head.  Bucky sat back down next to Jade and she nudged him on the shoulder with her head.  For dessert Maria had made banana chocolate cake using the overripe bananas no one had wanted to eat.  Again people were giving multiple thanks for it.  By the time everyone else cleaned up the fire outside was started, the s'mores fixings brought out and an assortment of benches from the workout room were assembled around the fire.  Jade got a little chilled despite the fire and Bucky ran into their room bringing out his jean jacket and placing it around her shoulders.  It was much too big for her but she rolled up the sleeves and said it was hers now.  Ma told a ghost story.  Peter and Ben talked people into playing charades.  Clint was cajoled into singing after Jade said she heard him sing to the horses.  He said he would only do it if she sang as well.  They sang Friends in Low Places and got everyone clapping in time to it.  Bucky mentioned Steve could sing, being in the church choir.

"That was supposed to help my asthma and it was before my voice changed, Bucky," said Steve.  "I only know stuff from the 40s like you.  Wait, I've got it, I have a good one."

He started belting out Singing in the Rain and everyone joined in.  For the next two hours they sang, ate s'mores, joked and laughed.  It turned out to be one of the most enjoyable evenings the Avengers had ever had as a group in the Bunker.  Even Bruce stayed for the entire time sitting beside Ma.  When the fire died down to embers the men brought buckets of dirt and sand to put out the fire.  Bucky put his arm around Jade and Ben, herding them home.

"I heard you and Peter thought of this," said Bucky to Ben.  "Nicely done, it was a lot of fun."

"Thanks, Bucky," he replied.  "It was such a nice day and we both thought it would be a nice way to end it.  Um, if you two want to have noisy sex Peter said I could sleep on his couch.  I don't mind, really."

Bucky shook his head feeling affection for the boy.  Ben was the most direct kid he had ever met.  His honesty shone through.

"Sure Ben," he said.  "That's very thoughtful of you."

"Take your toothbrush," said Jade, smiling, as he ran in to get a change of clothes.  "How thoughtful, really, that's your take on it?"

"What else do you say to a ten year old who knows you're having sex with his mom?" asked Bucky.  "We are having noisy sex, aren't we?"

"His birthday is next week," she suddenly said.  "I don't have anything to give him."

"I've got you covered," said Bucky.  "Ma alerted me and we've been making him something from all of us."

"Tell me what you did," she demanded.

"Nope," he said.  "It's going to be a surprise."

She squeezed his waist.  When they got inside the room they could smell woodsmoke so Bucky pulled Jade into the shower with him.

"We have ten minutes of water," he said, "before it automatically shuts off.  As much as I would love to make love in here I don't relish the thought of being covered in soap when the water stops."

Quickly they soaped each other down and rinsed off then enjoyed kissing and caressing under the water until it shut off suddenly.  Jade wrapped her hair up in a towel then another around herself while Bucky did the same.  Picking her up he carried her to the bed and got on it beside her. 

"We smell so much better now," he said, kissing her neck and playfully pulling at her towel.

Putting his hand into her hair the head towel came off and he suddenly kissed her deeply and sensuously.  This time he undid her towel and pulled it away from her body then pushed her down below him.  Laying on top of her he stroked her hair while kissing her softly.   

"This was one of the best days of my life," he said softly.  "Because you were there with me for most of it."

He kissed her deeply again and she drew him in closer with her arms.  "You're overdressed," she whispered, tugging at his towel. 

Smiling, he reached under himself and pulled it off.  "That better?" he asked. 

She nodded and caressed his bottom, then ran her hands up his back.  He raised himself so he was on all fours then kissed her body starting at her breasts and working his way down.  When he got to her pubic area he slowed down nuzzling her lower abdomen and the top of her thighs before gently opening her and licking inside.  Her back arched immediately and she gave a short sigh as he found the parts of her that aroused her.  As she ran her hands through his hair she raised her hips into him and he went down harder on her, making her body twitch.  He started to caress and squeeze her thighs before pressing down on them and trapping them under his arms. 

"James," she panted.  "I love your tongue."

"I love yours, baby," he purred, as he sucked lightly on her clitoris and she gasped.  "Do you want to come now or when I'm in you?"

"Both," she whispered, as she squirmed under him.

Smiling he increased his pace on her and had her straining to come as he held her legs down.  When she suddenly tensed and cried out he released her legs and gently squeezed them to move the blood through them.  Wiping his face with the towel he laid between her legs nuzzling her breasts then moving up to her neck. 

"Well, I'm half done," he whispered in her ear.

"Mmmm," she hummed.  "I should have said yes that first night.  Your tongue...."

As he stroked himself to become hard again she leaned over and gently licked him before taking him into her mouth.  He caressed her silky soft hair as she brought him to the edge before stopping and holding the tip of him.

"Why are you stopping?" he gasped.

"Just wait a little and let the sensation lessen," she said softly.  "Then it will be more intense when you're in me."

They kissed and caressed until Bucky entered her again.  Quickly the intensity increased for both of them and when they came together they cried out loud at the intensity of it.  Bucky laid in Jade for some time, kissing her face and neck still recovering from the emotion it had ignited in him.

"My beautiful Jade," he whispered emotionally, "I would die for you.  If it ever came to that I would lay my life down to save yours."

"Shh, babe," she soothed him.  "Just stay in me, stay with me.  I love you being in me, being part of me."

Eventually he pulled out and lay his head in her arms, just as he had envisioned that day in the workout room.  He never wanted to be anywhere else other than with her.  When he finished the ring he would ask her, and he would commit his life to her, his gem, his Jade.

Chapter 7>>

Series Masterlist

Please like, comment or reblog.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #buckybarnes original female character #sam wilson #alien invasion #buckyflashback

[wolves-etc]

thoughts on The Last Of Us episode four, largely in the order I had them:

[thoughts on: 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | X | 1.5 | 1.6 | 1.7 | 1.8 | 1.9]

— I'm reassuring myself with the thought that ellie was probably at least taught basic gun safety at military school (though there are other concerns even if she was - with a gun she might be more of a target to people who'd otherwise overlook her as a kid, and, well, everyone makes mistakes.)

— ELLIE WITH HER JOKE BOOK oh dear heck. of course there'd be less access to them in her world. of course it would be a treasure trove.

— ellie's fresh delight and joel's faint horror at the jokes are entirely evocative and entirely correct

— ellie found a porn mag?? oh joel is just speedrunning parenting at this point.

— "why are all these pages stuck together?" "uhhhh… the…" "I'm just fuckin' with ya." ELLIE

— sometimes she's so like a child with a normal childhood it hurts a bit. staying up late reading with a torch when she's meant to be sleeping.

— BECAUSE HE WAS OUTSTANDING IN HIS FIELD <3

— this "people are what you should really be scared of, outside of cities" thing is kinda chilling and I'm not looking forward to seeing that explained.

— joel standing watch when he should be sleeping. I'll never tire of that trope.

— "smells like burnt shit." "[deliberate loud drinking noises]" (I think he's figuring out that a little bit of sass helps with her, and it's great)

— oh it's tommy who's the vet, not joel. or at least joel claims as much. he may be avoiding admitting to his own military service, though I'm not sure why he would, and the plate on his car was my main evidence. that and at least one article that cheerfully claimed it as fact. (and the way he was so immediately comfortable with violence when it was needed.)

— YOU GO, MURDER CHILD <3

— ...okay that brief moment of joy became much less joyous very quickly

— and joel dead set on ellie not seeing the murder she kinda partly did. fuckin' ouch.

— that interrogation cell scene with the new characters? it's wild to see one person scared and clueless and another with a gun and a grudge and not know which one to root for. there's a very understated moral messiness there.

— (the quiet "I'm your doctor", and the sudden realisation of how valuable he is. it's sobering. and kind of unfair.)

— the "you shouldn't have had to shoot that guy" conversation, fuck. joel apologising to ellie hit hard. he's really trying to do right by her.

— "nuh-uh, you put it in your pack. you'll shoot your damn ass off." and you're fine without your ass, is it

— ma'am why do you have such a vendetta against a guy and his (kid? brother? friend?)

— the breaking concrete is incredibly creepy and I have to assume it's either the fungus somehow getting through in several places - that underground structure, the network, the mycelium - or it's infected who were buried rather than killed. either way: eeeesh.

— "you laughed, motherfucker." <3 <3 <3

— MORE THAN ONCE <3

#the last of us hbo #the last of us spoilers #tlou spoilers #orig #a shorter one this time and no screenshots apparently

[heretherebedork]

And here we go on episode four and more, more, more! All the way to eight. It's definitely addicting. I wonder if I can actually catch the next episode live... I'd have to be on public transit, but I might be able to actually watch it.

@absolutebl and @clairificusrex I'm keeping everyone up to date because I'm not gonna stop!

Verdict so far? Yup. I'm in love. But I'm also kind of glad it took me a while to get into it because the first episodes were rough. But it just got better and better and now I'm in love with the entire story and the wait for next week is going to DESTROY me.

Predictions and thoughts from my dog walk: I think that all of this is going to include figuring out exactly what's going on with Rit and that it includes organs being sold illegally and that Tol might also be involved in his suicide. Tin has a lot to learn, I cannot wait for more Sing and Gap and Toy and I really do like all the side characters, lol.

Episode 4

Tin is slowly accepting that he's in a time loop and it's going to take a lot of time and he still accepted it faster than Prakan accepted that people die.

The Professor and his assistant (???) are shady AF. Like, shady as standing under a tree on a cloudy day in a single spotlight. Shadier than fuck. The shadiest.

Tin in the time loop is almost enjoyable but I still get this twitchy little feeling every time.

Oh, look, shadier than fuck lol lol lol so shady and so unsubtle.

"Yeah, that kid getting an ultrasound? you better find two kidneys or so help me!" sdgfdg well this time loop is very helpful.

Tin calling Art to try and look out for Tol getting drunk is cute but not gonna work, bae.

But also Art is adorable trying to listen to him. I love all the side characters. Seriously. Also, the fact that he smells like alcohol because it got poured on him and not because he's drunk.

Art also reminds me of one of the actors from GMMTV, the one that played Pai in MGAYG but he's actually Techno from TT and that's unexpected and shows how bad I am at recognizing people.

Oh, the realization that this time he's hurt both boys trying to save one of them. Awww, Tin. And now he knows them and it's hurting him even more. This is like a reverse Prakan, where the death becomes more and more meaningful to him.

I do like the proof that Tol wasn't drinking and driving. That's at least a relief but I did figure something like that. Thailand is pretty good at drunk driving = bad in their shows.

Sakda is just the worst.

Have I been clear about my love of the side characters? All of them are just the best.

What will win? Black coffee, exhaustion, spicy peppers or a tiktok dance?

Sing and Gap are just the best with whatever's going on with them. (It's me, Overlord of the Side Couples!)

Mmmm, hug. I do love a good hug. And the way Tol is looking at Tin is darling. That was a very good moment. Absolutely A+. Big fan.

THE MARRIED BABIES YESSSS LOOK AT HOW DARLING THEY ARE AND HOW HAPPY I WAS WAITING FOR THIIIIS.

Awww, Tin really is attached to Tol now. It's pretty cute. And finding out there might be underlying healthy issues to his death? Ooo. You definitely need more than two days, my boy.

Episode 5

So his memories of the loops aren't perfect. Interesting. They seem to be changing how well they work as the loops get longer.

No denials? I'm into this now. I'm a fan of these boys and I look forward to whatever this leads to. Oh, boys.

"How to trick that cute guy into coming to the hospital so you can check his heart for him subtly" 101 is not a common class but I feel like it could be taught to more people.

Subtle is not Tin's middle name, it's more like the name of his worst enemy.

I love Tin so much for the entire part where he gets to diagnose Tol with his heart issue and then rushes to save Rit and now this is just getting wild. And there's so much left to go.

Tin sitting on the floor with Rit and talking about his suicide attempt is painful but so it watching him try to figure out how to explain his sudden appearance to him.

But also poor Rit. He got blamed for what other people did and it ruined him. Ugh, this poor boy. I just want to rescue him the same way Tin does. Poor boy. Poor Rit.

Mmmm, opinion of Tol just went down a lot.

Tin is a darling and I do like him a lot and how he's being sure to help Rit and being so sweet with him and so worried. But also he probably shouldn't bring up Tol feeling guilty to Rit right after he, you know, tried to kill himself because of what Tol did.

Tin, never get into a relationship to change someone.

Dude, Sadka's... person-dude-thing... is the slimiest person I've yet seen. Seriously. He's so obviously trash it's not even subtle. Oh, Doi. He's Doi. I'll remember that someday. Doi is trash.

Sadka and Doi are trash together and it's so obvious that I want to just sort of laugh. Those two are gonna get fucked over by the end, I suspect.

Mai and her secret side boyfriend are interesting and an interesting twist to their relationship. I already like him.

Doi is the worst.

Awww, Tin's smile when Tol called him.

Rit and Sing! Awww. Rit is just the cutest boy. I want to give him the biggest hug of all time and promise him life is okay and he'll be okay and that life goes on and gets better. He's just such a darling.

The look on Gap's face when Sing spoke to him? Darling.

Tol and Tin are already finding their adorable niche. Too bad Tol is gonna die again and again and again before they can do this forever.

Oooo, cologne sniffing. Can that be a new trope? It's adorable and sweet and adds a very cute shopping trip plus you could absolutely do some really cute callbacks later on in the show.

Tol's turn to stare! Nice. Also, ooo, will everyone start to fell the deja vu of a time loop? I'd be down for that.

And a kiss! A very, very poorly timed kiss that isn't going to save anyone... but a kiss nonetheless.

Episode 6

Paused to get myself some chocolate.

Poor Tol. Tin's had so much time to fall in love and Tol's just like 'wtf?!?!' Awww. But also poor Tin.

Also, the subtitles I found cannot spell disease to save their lives and it's always spelled so it almost says deceased and I am struggling, y'all.

Lip touch!

Tin is trying so hard. He cares about Tol so much but he also desperately wants out of the loop and he wants to set him free and himself free and just... oof.

These posts are also why I don't do true liveblogging, y'all. I am so prone to rambling.

Oh, it's definitely illegal organ harvesting. Called it!

"Just get rid of them" yeah, that's how this works.

How much of the hospital is in on this scheme?

I like secret boyfriend.

Ugh, this is disgusting to watch tbh. Little fuckers.

Oooo, Tol is starting to have more flaashbacks.

And Tol dies in his arms this time. Rough. Especially as he dies starting to remember what's happened before.

Yeah, once he has the heart attack he can't be saved.

I love Sing and Gap so much, y'all. Side couple POWER.

I am worried about Tol still being alive on life support. This is just scary, tbh. Scarier than the time loop, almost.

Of course he knew him in childhood. How could they resist that? No show can resist that.

Mai is pretty heartbreaking to imagine having to date someone in order to afford medical bills and to hide your actual relationship from him to save your mother. Also rough.

Have I mentioned my love of Rit? I love him.

Oh no, they goons have come! I wonder if they work for Kinn. Ultimate crossover, turns out the mafia sells organs!

I like that we got an experience woman doctor, that was nice but surprisingly rare.

Also, have I been clear that Doi and Sakda are trash?

Once Tol has the heart attack, he's doomed. Every time. Cannot be undone.

Bur oof, this is a rough episode that shows all the butterfly effects of everything going on in the show and all the ways everything spirals and all the elements that Tin is going to have to figure out how to balance. You need more than two days, babies.

Jinta's back!

The idea of the length of the time loop being controlled by where Tin sleeps is fantastic, honestly. It's a wholly fascinating way to handle the time he needs and to handle changing what he needs and when he does things.

Episode 7

I do like that Tin is aware that he's taking longer to remember things the farther back he goes. And the slow way he's growing and changing with his memories changing. Very enjoyable. And starting to remember the more distant past as well.

I mean, you know what, it's nice to know that they both have to live in order for the show to end. Like, that's just a nice little guarantee for me.

"Tol must survive to fall in love with me" sjgkl Tin, you're in so deep.

Toy is the cutest. I love him. And I love that he has a boyfriend. Fantastic. Absolutely A+. Thank you for not making him single.

He's not making mistakes. He's stealing organs. I get that you don't know that. But still. Not a mistake.

I do love Fang. She's a very fun character. And very enjoyable. Just... in general.

The 'first meeting for you, I'm already in love' running into each other bit is working kind of cutely for them.

I do adore Tin. This is like... pining but on steroids because Tin is so lost to him despite himself. Time loop pining. Hmmmm. I suppose that's to my advantage.

Tol is a little bit of a brat and a little more of one in other places. I hope Tin can find a way to save Rit from being failed. He needs to save that poor boy so much.

Honestly, meeting Tol post-saving-Art is a lot more charming than he is now. This version of Tol is basically not charming at all. He's such a brat.

Awww, Zebra.

Sing and Gap continue to be fantastic in their own way.

Tin is very, very good at coming across as a creeper.

Tol's tiny worried face about his kitty is darling But seriously, Tin, fuck off with the whole tutoring thing. Don't make this a bribe.

Gap trying to talk to the irate parent while his son lounges around with his phone is just way too accurate. And I love Sing because he's just the Right Guy for the job.

Poor Rit. That poor baby. He deserves the damn world. So much better than they're treating him.

Tol is such a brat right now. You know you're treating Rit wrong. Stop it. Learn to be nice. My good will for you is being sapped away.

I love Gap and Sing so much. I really do. Despite it all, I love them both. They're just so different and yet they could get along so well.

Save Rit, please, make his life so much better.

You know, I know that Tol has to survive to end the loop. And that he has to learn a lesson about his actions. But I'm kind of struggling as we learn more about him and he turns out to be less and less of sympathetic character.

Seriously. All my sympathy is with Rit. Tol and co can just kind of fuck off. Meh.

Episode 8

Dear is adorable and fun. I enjoy having her around. And now Tol is being a brat again for his attention but... why?

I hope Rit gets an actual apology about the whole business thing. Because he deserves it. He's a good boy.

Tin is kind of an idiot. But I guess that works for Tol, so that's all that matters.

Tol needs to learn a lesson about apologizing to people and admitting fault. Because Rit deserves all of that.

Sing and Gap time! Gap is adorable.

Seudam and Zebra time! Why is Seudam in a crate? Let the girl out. And Tin said that he had a kitty who needed a friend!

Teaching someone how to cook is such a good trope. I love it. And it's such a sign of 'this one character is a rich stink' because that's always why they can't cook.

I just need to know what happened with Rit and Tol and Art and Win and Pair and everything. Where's my flashback to that? We already know they framed him for the cheating that he didn't participate in so I kind of don't trust their opinions on this.

Oh, the nightmare and Tin pulling Tol into his arms to comfort him in absolutely my JAM more of this, please and thank you. Everywhere. Just... nightmare comforting and gentle face cradles and being held. Please.

I do like the idea of Tol remembering the loops as well. It changes the dynamic a lot as well as adding a lot more layers to their interactions.

But Tin, you should really be telling him to get his heart checked now, right? Telling him that you'll take him to the hospital and check him? RIGHT?

Also those bed snuggles are good.

Yes, Tol, please talk to Rit. Thank you. Poor Rit, though.

Me, taking either episode to realize that Rit is played by Pure's actor... yep, that's a very me move.

hgfklhdfg If no one stands up for him this time, I will lose my mind.

Look at that, Tol made a better choice this time. And also, wasn't Rit your friend as well?! Why does everyone forget that he was their friend!? And it seemed to be a fairly recent friendship break as well.

JUST TELL HIM TO GET HIS HEART CHECKED, TIN.

Man, Pair and Win are the worst. They can join Sakda and Doi in hell.

I love Sing looking out for Rit and Gap trying his best to look on the bright side and everyone taking care of him. He deserves it. He deserves a good support system.

I love Toy.

Ah, the perfection of drama timing for Tol to walk in right then. And then get the text. I mean, at least he's in the best spot to have a heart attack... I guess?

Oh no, he sees them together when they were supposed to meet!

djgkldfh BOYS.

Seriously, is this the start of another loop? But we got so far. No, my babies!

I mean, there are four more episodes so this makes sense... but still. Rough. We're in nailbiting territory for me. This feels like it should be later in the show than it is.

Tol is my rollercoaster character. I like him and then I don't and then I love him and then I want to smack him and then I want to hug him and he's just up and down and up and down and wibbly wobbly everywhere.

And Tin missing his phone and missing him entirely is so painful because he has no idea. He has no idea what Tol saw or what Tol just found out and just... auuugh. Especially when he calls him later? That's rough.

This is going to end badly. I can already tell.

Yes, yes he did steal your nephew's kidney. You're right. Thank you for saying it.

Oh no, Tol in the clock tower alone with no idea what's happening to Tin and, honestly, no way of finding out until much later. I AM LOST. LOST. Damnit. Poor boys. UGH.

And now I have to wait a WEEK!?!?!

Tol, baby, I'm sorry you're waiting but he's kinda bleeding out right now.

#triage #triage the series #thai bl #thai bl series #thai series #bl series #thaibl #bl drama #thai drama #livewatching #lots of ramblings #holy shit #yep now i'm addicted

[hexenmeisterer]

getting to know your bl mutuals

rules: answer the questions and @ some people. include the tag ‘g2ky BL mutuals 2022’ on your post so we can find everyone’s answer.

I’ve been tagged by @smyx! (thanks!!) to be honest I am not what you would call uhh widely read in the genre. I’ve seen 4 Thai BL shows in my life and one of them was a grocery story advertisement. (do NOT get me wrong, I loved the grocery store advertisement. you can pry Ingredients from my cold dead hands.) 

Yuri!!! on Ice and The Untamed I think are the other categorizable-as-BL shows I’ve dedicated my life to watched in their entirety. but we can just focus on the live-action shows with proper onscreen kissing here 🥲

what have been BLs that took you by surprise this year?

all three of them in different ways!! I did not expect to get broadly into Thai BL in the first place, but then the kinnporsche cast announced they would be doing a live show in the city I’d recently moved to and I was like "this is a sign from the gods that I need to buy a ticket + then watch the series in time to enjoy the boys live" and. oh boy. did I ever. literally everything about kinnporsche was a surprise to me lmao. what can I say, the gods were right

The Eclipse targeted me RIGHT in the second of my two weaknesses (which are, in order, BDSM and Fun Facts.* obviously kinnporsche got me in the first). it then gave me a third weakness, which is First Kanaphan’s smile. 

and then Not Me targeted the latter two of my now-three weaknesses.

I think Not Me probably took me the most by surprise though, because I didn’t know really anything about it going in (I saw ONE Yok edit to boss bitch and I was like yeah ok I’m in), and it is stylistically and plot and content-wise so unique.

*by fun facts I don’t mean the facts are about fun things but that there are obvious trails of breadcrumbs left in the script that lead me as a google-happy viewer down wikipedia rabbit-holes learning stuff about politics, history, etc that I wouldn’t have otherwise had cause to learn. because everything I’ve taught myself I know for horny-about-boys-kissing reasons. 

what have been BLs that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

no disappointment here, all of them have been absolute bangers your honor.

I have vaguely started watching The Shipper and the setup is truly wild and I'm having fun, while also preparing myself for The Way It Ends + not sure if I’ll finish it.

what has been your favorite BL this year?

Not Me, holy FUCKING shit y’all. my brain chemistry is currently getting rewritten by this show :’) 

favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)

VegasPete

...Yok.......................................

SeanWhite

AkkAyan

WinTops 

what's your non-BL favorite this year?

does Our Flag Mean Death count....

no but my fave TV show with no boys kissing whatsoever in it was Reservation Dogs 😭😭😭

tagging @trashcanonfire @unsaidjatp @ghost--houses @baby-droll

#g2ky BL mutuals 2022 #oh right also I watched Given but it did not have a major impact on my life #tag game

[josiebelladonna]

literally stumbled upon a blog just now, one that i never interacted with once in my life, and saw they had blocked me.

the reason why i’m making a big post about this is because... holy shit. this one is nuts. like, some of the people on here, i get it completely, i get why you don’t me to interact with you. but the more i think about this, the more i feel tumblr going this way in the future. like, this is legit terrifying when i think about it.

now, understand, after the block party of last summer, at this point, no skin off my nose—does seem a little strange that i have never seen you in my life, let’s see your pinned post:

um… 🤭

i’m sorry, i have to laugh at this. it’s so over-the-top that it actually got a laugh out of me. why are you here if you don’t want people to follow you? this isn’t instagram or twitter where you can put your account on private and refuse who follows and who doesn’t. i mean, i do see the logic somewhat—instagram will shadowban you when you make art with eroticism or violence and twitter is virtually impossible to use now, but still. sort out your shit before you come here.

okay, that first part makes complete sense. i post risqué stuff from time to time and i want everyone to use discretion as a result because i’m a wild card—after the shit with daveigh/xxgreendruidessxx i am so wary of ageless blogs. that second part, though. i’m not into that stuff myself (i think it’s gross, tbh) but saying it’s not “true” bdsm or that it can’t be is a little overblown, don’t you think? (never met anyone who wanted to gatekeep bdsm of all things, too, like damn)

”usually”, meaning there are exceptions and they can be taught how to dominate properly, you just are refusing to do the work for whatever reason. next question.

excuse you, it is just a word, like in the phrase “come to mama, baby”—emphasis on “come” and i like to call him baby because he’s precious to me and he gives me butterflies.  something tells me you read fifty shades of gray and took it way too literally.

hey, i have hang-ups with fandom myself but i’m a fan of a lot of stuff. this blog is all me. what’s wrong with that? that’s kind of sad, actually, not being a fan of stuff. bring in the gatekeeping and i feel you must not have a sense of wonder. like, your private life must not contain anything childlike or pure (notice i said “childlike” and not “childish”). that’s really sad, such that i kind of feel bad i’m doing this. like, hehehehe, see some tumblr bitch make fun of someone who doesn’t like stuff hur hur.

that being said…

jesus fucking christ, are you serious? i h8 the utter circle jerk of posts about each other’s mutuals because they’re obnoxious noise at this point but i’m always flattered when that happens. like, whoa, dude, i woke up to a shitload of notes on my posts, thank you, person! (bonus if it’s my art.)

hey, i do, too, but you don’t see me bitching about people going through and reblogging a bunch of things. the fact you outright declare you post memes (and not art) tells me everything i need to know, too. *twirls paintbrush*

so, according to you, kinks outside of bdsm are invalid. you think people who are into porn, either out of curiosity or genuine enjoyment, are brain dead. you think people who like erotica are brain dead. get out of your sight? how bout i fart in your general direction while i leave? make you smell me because i have a delicate stomach and shaming people for their kinks is not okay.

forget a private life being sterile: your private life is more poisonous than the basement at chernobyl.

THEN WHAT THE HELL AM I LOOKING AT, LADY

and you’re one to talk given you came here in the first place, and you use the colored text, an html modification. something tells me that you do understand it.

and to really revel in the insanity:

yeah, i bet you would also tell people they’re fat and ugly so they lose weight. also “20% effective”? i like how she—and i checked, it’s a “she”—forbids people who are into adult diapers and yet she probably hasn’t had hers changed since she first got off the potty. love the use of the word “perceived”, too—why not just say “seen”? and again, if you’re so hell-bent on controlling your own image, why are you here? you can’t control how someone sees you. that’s just life: people will misunderstand you no matter what happens. yet another person so consumed with appearing mature and sexy that she winds up being immature.

i’ve known a fair number of people who were into “tightly knit” groups and they were just like this, too. there was nothing you could do to convince them otherwise, either. they’re misers, caught up in their own echo chamber to the point they no longer think very broadly. i worry, that with the aforementioned circle jerk of posts directed at each other’s mutuals, this will spread to the rest of tumblr. this place will become like this woman here: obsessed with each other’s mutuals until they start telling newbies to gtfo.

moreover, there’s this trend i’ve seen with blogs that have blocked me is that they’re run by very miserable people. there is nothing about them that strikes me as “oh, man, why did you block me? you’re awesome, i wish i could do something to fix things.” i think there was one where i actually thought that (and really, the only reason why it was all so upsetting for me was because it felt as if every time i turned around it was happening. i never saw explanations or anything like that, just angrily worded vague posts. it was upsetting because of the frequency and no one would give me a straight answer).

#and to add insult to injury: she’s an amber heard supporter #the ten people who support her are just as histrionic as her #no surprises at all #text

[finecutvoidsalt]

reflecting on my education in middle and high school is fucking wild. like it's a miracle i didn't become some kind of fascist with how they were prepping me to fall down the far right pipeline. christian private schools will literally just teach you anything huh

like I just had a memory beam into my head of my history teacher teaching us that andrew jackson was actually totally cool and that he was only held back by those pesky laws that didn't let him genocide ALL the natives. like what the fuck is that. how did I hear that and think it was normal. trick question it's because i was a (undiagnosed autistic) child and my brain was squishy enough that I was still absorbing everything authority figures told me as absolute truth. even if something sounded wrong, everyone else around me says it's ok, so I guess it is?? type shit

thank fuck I had a genderfluid friend in high school. Eren if you're out there I need you to know you probably saved me from becoming an ultra far-right dumbass, you actually got me thinking about other groups of people as actually PEOPLE. we were already friends before they realized they were genderfluid and (very patiently) explained the concept to me. my autistic ass was like "wait people can feel like their gender? It's not just a label that's arbitrarily placed on you and you just accept it?" and THAT took me a hot minute to figure out (tbh I still don't really understand because I've never felt that strong of a connection to my own gender, but I understand enough that it is important to a lot of people and to be respectful and that's what matters most I think. so thank you for that eren)

but still, that was only my first, tiniest baby step out of the hyper-religious and conservative bubble I was raised in. i try not to be too angry at past-me for all the bullshit I believed in, I was very much a product of my environment and I did change once I was exposed to other people and religions, but. man. I was looking though old school assignments a while back (and yes I still have them because I have a weird fear of throwing away certain things like homework/paperwork, regardless of the fact that I'm no longer in school), and WOW that shit was racist as hell. holy fuck. WHY was I taught that the Catholic crusades were a good thing????

Also I was exclusively taught that Capitalism Good and Communism Evil. we read Ayn Rand and were told that the invisible hand was awesome and that all governmental regulations on economics are terrible. also taxes are bad. poor people deserve to live the way they do because they are just Bad With Money and the government shouldn't support them financially because uhhhhh reasons. If I was talking to a Church Person they would follow that up with "the church should be the ones supporting the poor, not the government" and I would be like "so why aren't churches supporting the poor" and they'd be like "well not all churches follow the bible like Us, The True Christians" and then I respond "so who is supporting the poor if the government shouldn't be allowed to and the churches won't?" and they would say "uhhhhh why don't you go hang out with the other teens ahaha"

huge shout out to this one girl I knew in my old church, who managed to see past all the bs and was a very staunch feminist. girl I am SO sorry for all the stupid shit I said to you. I my brain was poisoned from all the indoctrination and steven crowder I was watching on youtube. Society IS fucked and I'm sorry I was so annoying about being like "um well, acktually, statistically—" god I was so fucking stupid. She's still out there being a leftist/feminist icon somewhere cause I heard her family being like "she needs prayers for her to Return To God". although there's also the chance she's a terf now or something, can't discount the fact that she was also raised hyper religious and to hate trans people, that shit sticks in your brain if you don't take steps to address it

ANYWAY all this to say, thank FUCK I escaped that line of thinking. so thankful to all the online communities that opened me up to left leaning politics and supporting LGBTQ+ people, and even more thankful to all my LGBTQ+ friends who have been patient with me (and welcomed me into the community!! shout out to my other aroaces) and answered my questions in good faith over the years, I'm genuinely trying to be better <3 I'm under no illusions that I'm finished learning, I'm sure there's still plenty of shit beliefs hiding somewhere in my psyche that I haven't figured out yet, but I'm staying open to change and to listening to others' experiences and beliefs!!

#long post #vent i guess #lmao remember how conservatives are always like ''the left is indoctrinating children!!1!!'' BRO WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS #indoctrination #thats what you call it #ough

[scattered-winter]

qpr buddietalia... <333 my third eyes is wide open, thank u <3

btw, i agree with the disclaimer you posted! my relationship with Buddie The Ship and Buddie The Fandom are two very very very different things that i need to keep separate for my own sanity. you see, i love canon buddie as they are, and i personally do not think that it's realistic for them to become a romantic couple as of now (but you never know if there will be a massive shift in writing in the future), but i definitely love how people use the canon moments to write beautiful romantic buddie fanfics. their canon closeness and silliness and chemistry is superb fodder for my heart and soul– and what people do with it to create heartwarming stories is fantastic! it's a lovely ship that is blessed with tons of amazing writers.

however, around season 4, the buddie tumblr fandom started getting more hateful and the hate for other characters (especially female ones) got so loud and disproportionate that i simply had to unfollow the entire fandom. i could not even read buddie fic for 2 years and deleted most of my bookmarks of it because i could not stand the ship anymore. it left a horrible bitterness in my mouth imagining the characters even. and that was so sad to experience because ik that ultimately, the characters and the ship itself are not to blame. but the fandom experience was able to poison everything else to me, so i had to leave it behind for awhile. stopped watching 911, stopped seeing any 911 content on my dash. now, i am back to casually watching the show, and i can enjoy buddie fics again (thankfully, most of them tag character bashing correctly, so it feels safe enough to me), but i decided to never engage with any other buddie content (gifsets and such). i tried, but i often end up seeing twisted facts or misinterpretations or character hate interwoven in them that i just cannot stand anymore. i am a firm believer that buck and eddie girlies (gn) would actually kill each other if they weren't shipping buddie, but that's a totally different can of worms about the 911 fandom that i don't wanna open here lol.

what i mean to say is... enjoying a ship does not mean that we have to be 100% uncritical of the fandom! i do not think that you are a hater for bringing up reasonable critique! it can be a difficult balancing act sometimes, though, with how fast others sometimes judge fellow shippers in bad faith. i hope that whoever enjoys buddie in any capacity knows that they can enjoy it however they like, and that they should never feel pressured to enjoy it a certain way just because the fandom seems to dictate it. all this should be about your personal joy! romantic or platonic or qp buddie?? it's all good, as long as you enjoy yourself imo.

sending love, i hope you have a great day today! <3

YEAH I'm sorry it's been such a bad experience for u !! it always sucks ass when fandom takes the fun out of something :(

THANKFULLY I've sort of curated a little corner for myself in the fandom where I'm basically doing whatever the fuck I want and if everyone else leaves me alone I leave them alone (what I like to call Ye Olde Wild Animal Method) (and I don't think I have enough actual influence in this fandom to really piss anyone off which works for me I'm just vibing) and so far it's been working for me!! but I wasn't in the fandom to experience the Big Shift so. who can say. if there's anything the dc fandom has taught me, it's how to ignore 90% of a fandom for ur own sanity ndbsmvslsb

#i wish i could say i had more thoughts abt qpr buddietalia but alas. head is empty. #i have the dc au on full rotation (AGAIN.) and so all other thoughts are simply <3 not happening <3 #911 abc #qpr anon ✨️