#vent i guess

[ali3nboyfriend]

i see a lot of talk of fellow adhd and autistic folk feeling like they’re too much for other people but i don’t see a lot of talk about feeling like you’re not enough. low energy adhd and autism where it takes a lot of effort to use words so your way of showing affection is to sit there and vibe in people’s presence but it comes off like you’re not paying attention or it’s not “active” enough to count, or forgetting to reply to DMs (or like i said, Words Hard), and it again comes off as you not caring or ignoring people. it’s really hard to be putting in so much effort to maintain friendships you value only for that effort to not be seen, or to be read as apathy, or for it to be seen but still not be what other people want. even worse when you try and talk more and be more active in a relationship but you end up burning yourself out because you don’t have enough energy to maintain it.

#starscream.txt #i struggle a lot with feeling like i’m not Enough of a presence for people #i like to just. listen to people. but i’ve had several people stop talking to me because me just listening comes off as me not caring #or finding them annoying #which it isn’t #and it fucking sucks. idk #i understand RSD and the need for validation so i don’t begrudge anyone that #i just wish i could be met on my field sometimes. i wish my natural behaviors didn’t read like apathy #or annoyance #i wish people could see my ways of showing affection for what they are #vent i guess

[shitty-fate-merch-daily]

Have one day left before the end of my first week at my first full-time job.

Man is this really all there is to life? Wake up early chug, my daily dose of stimulant, and fight people on the roads, work for 8 hours, put my life on the line to fight even more people on the roads, lay in bed and scroll for 2 hours, get everything ready for the next day, sleep, and repeat. And on the weekend I have to do chores and shit.

I understand why all the adults in my life are so ambivalent about the suffering of others and the problems in modern society, the few hours I get to myself in the day I can’t bring myself to focus on anything negative.

I got a chance to finally live for myself during college and now I can’t go back to the dehumanizing structure of middle and high school. Honestly I wish I’d never gone, never learned there was something better.

Everyone else just accepts that this is the way that it is so it has to be done. But having an understanding of capitalism and knowing this isn’t the way it should be makes it hard to imagine any future worth looking forward to. All this exhaustion just for like… an actual vacation every two years? Fuck off.

#almost got into 3 separate car accidents today #one of these days I’m going to die over $17/hour I swear #vent I guess #sorry literally no one in my life will take me seriously

[azuldoodles]

I wish I were one of those people who falls asleep early at night inevitably/very easily.

Most of my problems come from the fact that my sleep schedule is terrible and it's so hard to fix it.

I try, I swear I do.

I barely have energy for anything, every day.

#personal #vent i guess

[universefrogg]

Hahaha...

Original

#art #oc #original character #persona #fursona #wolpertinger #vtuber bullshit idk #vent i guess #soup-erb meme

[nicksfurry]

its starting to rain

#furry #oc #furry art #fursona #lofi #digital art #drawing #color palette #limited color palette #vent i guess

[candyheartedchy]

I’m not gonna lie, as much as I want to interact with fandom blogs and join in on the discussions on my favorite shows and characters, the fact that I might make some of them uncomfortable due to being a self shipper make me anxious and sad.

#i know there’s some that follow me and I’m honored and greatful ❤️ #but honestly when some of y’all first followed me I was scared lol #i know other self shippers probably feel the same way too because we’re TERRIFIED of having fandoms know about our ships and stuff #and it’s a struggle #that’s why I rarely reblog other’s fanart because of this #it’s just you’re watching the fans have fun but your on the sideline too scared to make the first move #i just wish I was move braver to reach out more and interact with folks #but that fear of people knowing about you and your work and judging is real #vent i guess #💬 chy chatter 💬

[silkysong]

had an interesting phone call

#blah #vent i guess #this is barely art

[idiot-mushroom]

i had a shit day, so have some vent art 👍

#vent art #my art shit #my art #my art stuff #slight gore tw #vent i guess #vibrant colors tw #vibrant colors #digital collage #collage

[puppy-loves-pudding]

I'm a zoophile.

But, I would never hurt any animal, and God, I wish people would understand that.

When I'm with my dogs the only thing I do is laugh for silly thing they do, lie down on the ground next to them and sleep there or just relax while I pet them. Sometimes I play "fights" with them or simply have a nice talk with them while I clean the yard.

It has never occurred to me to harm them, and I would never do that.

I know is wrong.

And I wish people understood that. And much more.

Like.

Writing about murder doesn't make me a murderer, so writing about my paraphilia when I'm bored doesn't make me a monster too.

And.

I would love for you to understand that we don't have to feel bad about our paraphilias. If I don't hurt anyone, why would I feel bad?

Ma'am, just explain to me, how is this hurting you.

How is me, being with the principal "object" of my weird attraction, without doing anything bad to them, hurting you.

How is people just being comfortable with themselves, or just enjoying their shit in a harmless way, hurting you?

How is someone demanding to be seen as someone worthy of respect, no matter what they do in fiction, hurting you?

Just saying.

Seeing all pedo, necro and zoophiles under the label of abuser or monster is just wrong.

And is actually hurting people.

It makes many feel bad about themselves, they wonder what's wrong with them, why can't they be just normal. There are people who directly begin to have a hate relationship with their paraphilia, which, is more dangerous than it seems, and it is all thanks to those who want to be "protected" from this type of people, from those "defenseless" who treat everything different like an aberration.

Well, guess what, ma'am! Maybe your cousin is a necrophile and no one knows it because, obviously, everyone around him would be disgusted by it. Or maybe your little sister has fantasized about having sex with unicorns and no one would ever know, fuck, maybe all people in this fucking world are paraphiles in some way but they're so scared of being seen as monsters that they'll never admit it!--- And damn.

Ah.

Uh.

What I was talking about?

Uh.

I lost track of what I wanted to say.

Uhm.

Just, don't hurt harmless people, please.

#pro paraphile #pro paraphilia #pro para #vent i guess

[i-may-be-an-emu]

want to sleep, swim, walk, run, bike, climb, live and thrive shirtless, and yet this chest weighs me down, dragging me down and drowning me.

#vent i guess #transgender #tw dysphoria #bottom dysphoria has also been hella bad recently but my chest #It just stops me from doing so much #Can't wait to chop it off one day #ftm #ftm dysphroia

[lorelei-system]

It’s such a strange experience to feel like you’re all alone and you don’t even have a family, even though you do. I grew up dreaming of either getting adopted by parents who really love me, or finding out I’m adopted and finding my real parents (who really love me).

I am just so upset that I didn’t get to have parents who love and support me unconditionally. Even when people love me (platonically or romantically) it’s never enough because what I really need is a parent’s unconditional love.

I will always feel broken and alone. I will always be the little kid who misses her parents. I will always feel homesick for a home that never existed.

It feels like I somehow never deserved a love like that. If my parents couldn’t put me first and make me feel safe, then who can?

-Phoebe

#personal #vent I guess #I’m sure there are people out there who relate #but I’m not sure how to trigger this #cptsd vent #childhood trauma #osddid #phoebe speaks

[dragons-and-art]

hey hi i think i should mention it here, if you notice a dip in art it's cuz i'm focusing on big projects and commissions atm

And to be honest with you all, patreon has been dipping lower and lower and it has me in a bad art funk as well, which i'm trying hard to fight back by just keeping me busy making the stuff that makes me happy like the comic, and the random ass need to make a vinny ragdoll.

Oh yeah might as well mention i got into a new hobby and is to finally learn how to sew! I already had some practice, but now i found a whole load of tutorials on how to make dolls, and now the need to make this lil sad man a reality has taken my brain hostage.

i think i'm gonna share the process more openly as i go, that way i won't be forgotten and this place won't be covered in webs and bots only |D i'm still in the process of making the patterns through many mockups but we're getting somewhere!

I'll share more pics as i go~

#draychat #vent i guess #kinda wanted to air some feelings but without being too depressing #i'm trying so hard to keep my shit together you have no idea #someone plz put a lil paper star on me i'm trying so hard

[p0is0n-is-th3-cur3]

realizing how much time you spent in hospitals, ERs, doctors offices, etc when you were little is really hard. You can’t help but grieve your childhood, all the opportunities you missed out on, all the friends you could have made, all the friends you’ve let down and lost from being sick all the time.

#chronic illness #chronic pain #disability #invisible illness #vent i guess

[333cordless]

well shit

#will toledo #cate wurtz #lamezone #asscastle #doodle #stupid #vent i guess #car seat headrest #csh art #twin fantasy #my boy #fuck college #1 trait danger #dude what #finger guns #whats with you lately #loser #the alleged ghost of bob saget #apologies to future mes and yous #ftm #trans

[idkmanwtfishumanityanymore]

y’all I am being so deadass when I say TSAMS just physically hurt me.

SPOILERS FOR TODAYS UPLOAD, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

I actually feel so bad for Eclipse right now it’s not even funny. He sounded like he was in PAIN on the phone- and he clearly doesn’t Want to even be alive, but is too scared or hellbent on revenge to die again. (Just like me fr /neg) He even said he contemplated just giving Sun and Moon his location so they could kill him- and when Moon hung up? I can almost swear I heard a mix of anger, desperation, but mostly fear when he shouted-

getting really goddamn serious here for a second might tag as a vent.

i don’t want a character I relate to so much to just be labeled unfixable, because it means the same for me. I relate to his abandonment, I relate to his difficulties in showing that he does care, I relate to his want for death but being too scared to fully commit. I just want him to find some kind of peace, with people who can help him.

I know he’s a shitty person, I know he’s killed, I know he’s abusive, I know he’s a manipulative prick, but. I just don’t want to see him like this anymore. It affected me when I saw how hysterical and desperate for answers he was with Ruin and Creator, and it’s affecting me now when he sounds so.. broken.

#So uh yeah. #vent I guess #but also me screaming about the lore. #sun and moon show spoilers #SaMs Eclipse #tw// suicidal thoughts #tw// abandonment issues #uhh idk what else to tag. #bazinga.

[candyheartedchy]

Venting here a little to get it out of my system.

Once in a while I’ll get someone commenting on my old IZ fancomic blog if it’s going to continue or not.

I remember how as much as I use to enjoy working on it, but I haven’t felt motivated to continue it in so long. Like the fandom was draining for me, hence why I ended up leaving. But every so often I’ll have folks either dm’ing me or leaving replies about it and then I feel guilty. Like I want to work on something I enjoy, not be forced because others demanding it. I wish I can just delete that blog for it all together, but with this site always glitching and if I try to delete a sideblog, I can’t take that chance of losing this one too by accident. But it’s just so damn frustrating when people keep asking and demanding more for something that obviously hasn’t been updated in like two years. Like it should be common sense that if someone moved to a different fandom or they haven’t posted about a fandom or character in so long, they probably don’t want it brought up right now or even at all. Like when I get hyper-fixated on a fandom or character, it’s hard to focus on others sometimes. I become obsessed.

I keep thinking of returning back to that comic to continue, hell I even have old pages sketched out ready to ink and color! But the spark isn’t there anymore. And I keep thinking MAYBE I’ll eventually return to it, but with folks always asking if I’m going to continue, it just stresses me out so much and then it feels forced.

#just me bitching #💬 chy chatter 💬 #vent i guess #ventish #vent