#and it fucking sucks. idk

[ali3nboyfriend]

i see a lot of talk of fellow adhd and autistic folk feeling like they’re too much for other people but i don’t see a lot of talk about feeling like you’re not enough. low energy adhd and autism where it takes a lot of effort to use words so your way of showing affection is to sit there and vibe in people’s presence but it comes off like you’re not paying attention or it’s not “active” enough to count, or forgetting to reply to DMs (or like i said, Words Hard), and it again comes off as you not caring or ignoring people. it’s really hard to be putting in so much effort to maintain friendships you value only for that effort to not be seen, or to be read as apathy, or for it to be seen but still not be what other people want. even worse when you try and talk more and be more active in a relationship but you end up burning yourself out because you don’t have enough energy to maintain it.

#starscream.txt #i struggle a lot with feeling like i’m not Enough of a presence for people #i like to just. listen to people. but i’ve had several people stop talking to me because me just listening comes off as me not caring #or finding them annoying #which it isn’t #and it fucking sucks. idk #i understand RSD and the need for validation so i don’t begrudge anyone that #i just wish i could be met on my field sometimes. i wish my natural behaviors didn’t read like apathy #or annoyance #i wish people could see my ways of showing affection for what they are #vent i guess

[bixels]

I watched Starship Troopers tonight.

#personal #dumb #my art #immediately after finishing i was pumped to watch some analysis vids on it #cuz i heard a lot of the drama about the original author being a pro military fascist and the director going “fuck that” and making a satir #scrolling through youtube search results was not promising. lots of male film buffs i would Not trust even on a first glance. #“The Critical Drinker” (pfp of a bearded man drinking alcohol) lol. #and then I saw cinemawins did a video on it and was like oh nice i haven't seen his stuff in a while but he's a pretty leftist creator #scrolled through the comments #second panel face #this sucks i'm outta here. #just leagues and leagues and leagues of anime pfps and right leaning people dogpiling on him for “not understanding what fascism is” #idk it's pretty alien and weird to me watching this movie and going “wow yeah that was pretty obvious huh” like literally the from opening #to the teacher preaching militance and only giving voting rights to “those who serve their nation first and earn it” #and then seeing droves of people online going #WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? It's not anti-fascist and even if it was it's #the director's fault for desecrating heinlein's incredible sci-fi epic vision. ermm media literacy is dead.

[caruliaa]

staff still hasn't given me polls, what should i do?

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their moms 69%

🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪🟪 their dads 31%

grace image os i get to look at her

#edit: edited the og post to what i want but to set the record straight i edited to the post to be mathematically correct right after the #first person pointed it out which was like ten mins after i posted the og post. now fuck offf !!!!! the rest of the tags r from the og post #for some reason i feel very immature making your mom jokes about tumblr staff. which i shldnt !! #bc they suck nd they still havent given me polls. but i ig i feel imature bc it a your mom joke 😭 but still i tihnk its kinda funny #EDIT: edited the post to what i want bc yall were getting annoying . but to set the record straight i edited to post to be mathematically #also its *mum* not mom okay i am NOT !! an american . but if i say mum everyone will j be like 'omg british' like i dont know i am #anyway. i want polls please. give me the rigght to force my mutuals chose between the most inane things #also i tihnk it wld b cool for the cs weekly blog. like w each episode #i cld do a poll of like. out of five stars what do u think of this ep #and it wld b a cool thing of which eps r ppls faves #also i cld have like. whose ur fave in team red whos ur fave in acme etc #id prob just have to go with vile faculty bc theres more than 10 ppl in vile. and ppl wld kill me if i didnt include nel the ell or whoever #it wld b fun !!! #oh btw csweekly thats i thing i want to start. prob on uhhh the 11th of feb ill post abt it more but its basically #a tag/blog for watching cs one ep a time watching one ep every saturday #ya !! :3 #flappy rambles #inaccessible #ask to tag #(<- idk. just in case)

[jestroer]

Dream is a total wanker, and I don't even want to mention him on my blog really, but I honestly could never fucking forget the "WHY has GRIAN, who in my opinion is not great at PvP, killed me at least 8 times in PVP games, yet I have NEVER finished ahead of him in buildmart". Still the funniest fucking shit ever

#he sucks so bad but he is also such a fucking clown #i do not know how anyone can take this guy seriously. he's like a 14 year old fr but hes like 24 i think #the buildmart rant will forever be engraved in my brain. WHY did GRI- #shitpost #idk i should probably tag for like dream mention #cw dream #yea

[apostaterevolutionary]

I’ve always found it funny that every native speaker of any language will always tell learners how awful their language is to learn so question time

Also if you reblog pls tag with your language and answer cause I’m really curious to see

#I’m curious as to whether this is universal or if it really is only a couple #cause I find it so funny #for me it’s english and yeah it fucking sucks lmao #idk if I’m ready to declare any language The Objective Worst to learn but english is definitely in the running for it #text #misc #polls #shut up nerd

[obscureenthusiast]

-Brutus and as many as 60 co-conspirators, circa March 14th, 44 BC

#ides of march #would you believe that I created this image all the way back in january STRICTLY BECAUSE I HAVE THAT MUCH BEEF WITH CAESAR? #this was created because he insisted that the Rhine was the border between Gaul and Germany #just so he could declare that he'd 'conquered' Gaul #but there's very little evidence that the peoples living in those places even viewed the Rhine as a barrier between lands #and their continued fighting against rome along that border line could indicate that they were in fact #attempting to reunite lands occupied by foreign invaders #anyway fuck you caesar i hope your triumph sucked ass #and that everyone who ever made bald jokes about you found idk a denarius in their pocket unexpectedly #yes i'm retroactively wishing dead people good and ill i'm complicated like that

[alpacacare-archive]

the brainworms are kiiling me. have a dad and son 👍︎

#papyrus #gaster #dadster #undertale #theres still not enough papyrus and dadster content where sans isnt present compared to the other way around #what will be enough you ask? well idk the exact amount cus numbers are infinite but yaknow #gaster supports let papyrus say fuck day #i believe he just sucks at parenting so papyrus cussed his whole life #and since gaster found out about the holiday papyrus has been nothing but encouraged by his dad #mostly out of spite towards the people who still believe his son to be 5 years old #im sorry i saw someone refer to papyrus as a prec**s cin***on ro*l and had to do something #my shoulder hurts so bad and drawing and typing worsens it and i have an exam tommorow i need to rest it for and look what im doing. #being silly. #>:[

[lobsterlemons]

a small compilation of some of my favourite dredge fish

#my art #not to suck my own dick but i think i fucking killed it w these #thank FUCK i was paid to draw voideye coz i never would have attempted that for free lmao #anyways reverse gatekeeping. i need everyone to play dredge NOW #dredge #dredge game #artists on tumblr #illustration #fish #dawg clearly idk what to even tag this as

[inkskinned]

it is hard to explain without sounding vain or stupid - but the more attractive others find you, the more you're allowed to do. the easier your life is.

i have been on both sides of this. i am queer and cuban. i grew up poor. for a long time i didn't know "how" to dress - and i still don't. i make my sister pick out any important outfits. i have adhd in spades: i was never "cool and quiet", i was the weird kid who didn't understand how "normal" people behave. i was bullied so hard that the "social outcasts" wouldn't even talk to me.

i got my teeth straightened. i cut my hair and learned how to style it. i got into makeup. it didn't matter, at first, if i actually liked what i was doing - it mattered how people responded to it. like a magic trick; the right dress and winged eyeliner and suddenly i was no longer too weird for all of it. i could wear the ugly pokemon shirt and it was just "ironic" or a "cute interest."

when i am seen as pretty, people listen. they laugh at my jokes. they allow me to be weird and a little spacey. i can trust that if i need something, people will generally help me. privilege suddenly rushes in: pretty does buy things. pretty people get treated more gently.

i am the same ugly little girl, is the thing. still odd. still not-quite-fitting-in. still scrambling. still angry and afraid and full of bad things. of course it became my obsession. of course i stopped eating. i had seen, in real time, the exact way it could change my life - simply always be perfect, and things can be easy. people will "overlook" all the other things. i used to have panic attacks at the idea others would see me without makeup - what would they think? even for a simple friend hangout, i'd spend a few hours getting ready. after all, it seemed so obvious to me: these people liked me because i was pretty.

i worry about how much i'm being a bad activist: i understand that "pretty" is determined by white, het, cis, able-bodied hegemonies. if i was really an ally, wouldn't i rally against all of this? recently there's been a "clean girl" trend which copies latinx aesthetics: dark slicked-back hair, hoop earrings. i almost never wear my hair like that; i can hear the middle school guidance counsellor advising me that i might fare better if i toned it down on the culture.

the problem is that i can take pretty on and off. that i have seen how different my life is on a day where i try and a day where i don't. i told my therapist i want to believe the difference is confidence, but it's not. and when you have seen it, you can't unsee it. it lives inside your brain. it rots there; taunting. i get rewarded for following the rules. i am punished for breaking them. end of story.

pretty people can get what they want. pretty people can feel confident without others asking where they got their nerve from. pretty people can be weird and different. pretty people get to have emotions; it's different when they get aggressive, it's pretty when they cry with frustration.

of course people care about this. of course it has crawled into you. of course you want to be seen as attractive. it's not vanity: it's self-preservation.

#pretty in this post is a stand in for . literally all forms of normativity #warm up #tbd maybe idk #ps! hi!! i'm queer!!!!!!!!! it is how i identify! if you tag this 'q slur' i will fight you!!! #i am using it here in the EXACT way it is NOT a slur !! i am identifying as a queer person! #this is EXACTLY how people reclaim it !!! #it's like practically ACADEMIC in this usage!! #please do any reading into what the fuck the history of the word ''queer'' is before telling me #as someone identifying as queer #that i'm a slur. that the place i find comfort in is a slur #''well it makes me uncomfortable if people use it for me'' #im sorry to hear that dude. that sucks. i hope things get easier for you soon #but you don't get to take it from ME #in case you can't tell by the REST of this piece #i DID hear queer used as slur against me. i DID get bullied with it. i DID hear a lot of shit said #i also heard it about lesbians #about ''being gay'' #about pretty much any fucking term that could describe me. #i like queer. i like how it feels. and it's mine. #you don't get to undo the work i've done personally because it makes u uncomfortable #it's ahistoric to pretend like there are ''safe'' ways to identitfy if ur queer. #none exist. it has never been safe to be like this.

[pinkd3mon]

Dedede at the end of revenge of the king

Day 4 of drawing random kirby shitpost for every day of October

#kirby #kots #kirby of the stars #kirby fanart #hoshi no kirby #king dedede #waddle dee #not my proudest work but also one of my proudest works somehow #i just has the vision and dedede truly is gru #and the adopted children is just Kirby idk #and instead of stealing the moon he's just stealing all the food #that cute agent from the second one is just meta knight #i started thinking about it as a joke it's almost scary how accurate it is #going back to filling up character blanks in star allies #I like to think everyone was horrified when they start realizing Kirby is a void #and dedede is the only one who's relieved #like holy fuck thank god that baby is actually an ancient god o just thought i SUCKED #I'm actually really fucking great you mean to tell me i went one on one with GOD?! that's nuts #before that Dedede just kept losing to a random child who happens to be weirdly strong #he was probably going insane #the void revelation gave Kirby existencial crisis but it gave dedede some peace of mind #out of topic but i need another dedede tour #if we get another meta knightmare before we get another dedede tour i think I'll go insane #forgotten land was the perfect opportunity for another one but hal is a COWARD #I'm also waiting for a waddle parade with bandana

[copias-juicebox]

His military outfit please.

#the military jacket is even worse #If i ever see someone cosplaying that outfit i am going to fuck them. #i‘d suck a dick or eat pussy idk if you are man or woman #and i mean that i am going to seduce them.. or just ask if we can have sex right on the spot #the last one is my fav because of his cake and cute lil kick #ghost band #ghost #papa emeritus #tobias forge #ghesties #myedit #ghost sweden #papa emeritus iv #copia #the band ghost #ghost bc

[holographic-mars]

I’d like to think when Cosmos asks to carry Soundwave, SW says yes teasingly thinking how his little boyfriend is going to lug him around, before Cosmos undos his mass displacement and just swoops him up. When they cuddle like this Cosmos complexity dwarfs Sw and it’s like a weighted/heated blanket for him.

Hold wife… life good

Soundwave isn’t used to being little so he’s very alarmed and charmed. When they cuddle Soundwave likes to wedge himself under cosmos bc cosmos is warm and heavy and soundwave likes that. He feels secure and happy

#FUCKASS DOODLE #IDK THIS KINDA SUCKS BUT I WAS LIKE FUCK IM GONNA POST IT ANYWAYS #soundwave being a cassette player doesn’t produce a lot of heat whereas cosmos being a shuttle produces a TON of heat #so soundwave is like oh yeah. oh yeah warm wife #life so good #coswave #cosmos #transformers #maccadam #soundwave #mars doodles

[spoonbenders]

new conspiracy theory roughly 90% of parents dont even like kids they only like babies and toddlers . the reason why everyone makes a big deal abt teenagers being fucked up is cuz they only signed up for children that just make noise n dont have opinions

#idk . after a while its just kinda gross to go up to ur adult child n be like 'god you suck now i miss when you were 3 years old' #THATS NOT WHAT U SAY..... #im not even a teenager anymore far from it but i still get called one like its a fucking slur #also does anyone else hav 2 listen 2 their parents b like 'ur basically still a teenager until ur 28' n other nonsense shit?????

[wasyago]

uhh umm uhm random stuff

#jrwi riptide #my art #sketch #ships are so hard to draw. like. that's supposed to be a brigantine but its twice the size i wanted it to be and its sad. #i guess they can have a bigger boat 🙄... #they just keep fighting and running around on their ship and it feels like there's a lot of room for activities there when there really isn #idk man #i wanted to say that i need to draw more ships but i really dont. ships suck and drawing them is 90% pain and 9% holy shit i did something #and a secret third thing..... #AND NOW that I've said it i feel the sudden urge to draw more ships. ship combat. a giant port as a background. more scenes on a ship... #fuck my life bro #also. found out in the middle of writing the ids that i misspelled both the words millennium and albatross. bruh

[skyburger]

watching hlvrai initally and not knowing anything about any of rtvs and then going back to watch it again after youve been watching their shit for a few years is so funny because like wayne was not fucking kidding when he said his interpretation of gordon was just how he would act in that situation. i 100% believe that. but my favorite thing to think about is about like. how much fucking funnier benrey gets when you know more about scorpy. benrey feels like evil scorpy from the shadow realm. scorpys evil twin from the bad timeline. i dont know how to put this into words

#sorry i wanted to watch the one clip from early on in hlvrai where benreys like. cant FUCKING believe it. dont FUCKING talk to me. #because the way scorpy delivers those lines is. to quote mr. radiotv himself: italian chef sucking fingers #idk it always makes me laugh thats seriously one of my fave bits from the whole series #muffin mumbles

[heartorbit]

the star you've longed for

#PLEASE WATCH REVUE STARLIGHT!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥 #project sekai #revue starlight #pjsk #emu otori #nene kusanagi #emunene #prsk #proseka #yuri win. i make my fav pairing fight tothe death #HAPPY EMUNENE WEEK LOOOOOL #Can i be hinestni think this sucks it took way too long cause i forgot how to draw for a week #im seeing demons and stuff. i feel more normal now. Also you may recall emu has a big hammer for revstar #thats the bottom of it the gem thing all the weapons have hers is sharp #i remember seeing meta post abt how mahiru has a blunt weapon because she never actually aimed for the lead role #rather she only wanted to be by karen's side. so her weapon wasnt capable of cutting anything in the first place #Fastforward to the movie and well LOLLLLL #though i think its funny in the movie her mace is still mostly used for i timidation againstbhikari.. bc again shes not winning for a lead #revue starlight youre neat. maybe i like revstar. #<- has been insane for 4+ years #Needed their pose to be smth where nenes weapon isnt visible because I DONT KNOW WHAT WEAPON TO GIVE HER. OOMFS HELP. I NEED A NENE WEAPON. #i thought some sort of polearm/spear/halberd etc something with range but that can be ambitious #but i feel like smth with that much footwork needed doesnt suit her.. And she cant hsve a sniper i dont think thatwould fucking work #aruru gets pistols in the revue but aruru also is Ummm well shes uhhh. [screaming] [car crash] #throwing knives would be funny wouldnt it. Put that gamer aim to use #idk if the emunene week tag is on here but i'll donit anyways #emuneneweek2024 #i remembered to switch which account this pists to for the first time in like 3 pists. so you get to see all my tags this time #rather than accidentally posting it to the wrong account and having to dekete and repost andngoing IM NOT WRITING ALL THAT AGAIN.