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wheresarizona · 3 months

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Learning to Live Part 30

summary: Sunday—it’s Javier’s 40th birthday, and you have some sexy surprises planned for when you get home from dinner. Monday—you’re back at work after your lovely vacation, and it’s time to bite the bullet and tell your disapproving family that you’re getting married. You can probably guess how well that goes over…

rating: E (18+! A good chunk of this is about birthday sex. No y/n, alternating POV, age gap (around ten years), unprotected p in v (wrap it up), creampie, oral sex (m & f receiving), 69, face sitting, butt plugs (f), anal play (f receiving), double penetration, breeding kink, lingerie, nude photos, dirty talk, praise kink, spanking, spit mention, waxing poetic about Javier’s dick, getting KO’d from orgasms, banter, domestic fluff, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort, death of a parent/grief, dysfunctional family, arguing, period typical sexism, spoiling Javier for his birthday, nurse stories (humorous), Javier being the little spoon, discussion about eating habits, Javier making you post-sex food, a special guest makes an appearance)

pairing: Javier Peña/f!reader (reader is a nurse with no physical descriptions)

word count: 16.8k (Why am I like this?)

a/n: This chapter was supposed to be solely about birthday sex, but something happened, I’m not sure what, and somehow there’s a lot of plot in it now? I apologize. I am at the mercy of the characters. I hope you enjoy! Thank you to the love of my life @juletheghoul, for betaing! You’re incredible.

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

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There was a game Javier liked to play when you went out to eat with people and were seated next to one another. It was kind of like Chicken, where two cars drive toward each other, and one of them has to swerve, or else they’ll crash—basically, it was a test to see how ballsy you were and how much of a risk you were willing to take to come out as the victor. In Javi’s version, it involved his hand under the table on your knee that would slowly creep up your thigh and under your dress, if you were wearing one, or along your pant-covered leg to try and make it to his goal nestled between your thighs—it was up to you to determine how far he’d get. Were you going to chicken out and stop his movements? Or were you going to be ballsy and let him get to the finish line? Honestly, it depended on how you were feeling and who you were with because it was really distracting when he rubbed your pussy in the middle of trying to have a conversation with someone. Still, the game was a lot of fun, and sometimes you liked to mess with him by letting him get almost all the way to his prize before you denied him, just to keep him on his toes.

Another thing was that there wasn’t always one round. Sometimes, he’d wait a bit and try his luck, again and again, to see how many attempts it’d take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of your Tootsie Pop—unless you told him to stop, then his hand would make itself at home, holding your thigh.

Tonight was Javi's 40th birthday, and you'd gone out to dinner with his father. Usually, on such a special day—and the fact you were always horny for him—you'd allow his palm to reach its destination. This evening, however, you had stopped all of his attempts and wouldn't let him get very far since you didn't want to ruin the surprise that was hiding under your dress—and your fiancé was very, very curious about what your undergarment situation was, getting to the point you kept his hand still between your closed thighs until it was time to leave.

The meal and catching up with Chucho had been wonderful—hanging out with your soon-to-be father-in-law was always a great time.

On the morning that you called the older man to tell him about your engagement, you laughed when he said he'd have something put in writing about his promises that he'd love you both living with him and wouldn't mind if there was a newborn there, too. You were well aware of his eagerness to have grandchildren and bet Javi twenty dollars his dad was going to show up today with legal documents on the matter, and you'd been right—he had a large manila envelope with an agreement he had his lawyer put together inside for you. Once dinner was done, you found out that wasn't all he brought; Chucho presented Javi with a Tupperware container filled with a big slice of tres leches cake his tía María made from his mother’s recipe. As he ate, his dad quietly serenaded him with a song called “Las Mañanitas,” much to his chagrin, the first part being:

“Estas son las mañanitas, que cantaba el Rey David, (This is the morning song that King David sang), Hoy por ser día de tu santo, te las cantamos a ti, (Because today is your saint’s day, we’re singing it for you), Despierta, mi Javi, despierta, mira que ya amaneció, (Wake up, mi Javi, wake up, look it is already dawn), Ya los pajarillos cantan, la luna ya se metió, (The birds are already singing, and the moon has set).”

There was a promise between the three of you that the restaurant staff wouldn’t be alerted that it was Javier’s birthday in order to avoid the employees bringing attention to him and singing; he didn’t, however, put any restrictions on his father or you singing to him, and Chucho was happily exploiting that loophole while his son grumpily devoured his cake he shared with you.

Javi wasn’t actually annoyed with his dad—he had the Tupperware practically licked clean by the time you were ready to go, and before you left, he gave his dad a big hug and whispered his thanks for having the cake made since it was something his mother always baked for their birthdays.

The big 4-0 was a milestone that usually involved a celebration, but your fiancé had declined his father and three tías offers to throw him a party and told everyone he didn’t want any gifts—he was determined not to make it a big deal, and only desired to have dinner with you and Chucho; the tres leches cake was a wonderful surprise, and definitely appreciated, though.

All of that brings you to where you were currently—sitting beside Javi on the bench seat of his truck as he drove you home. He’d pulled up your dress to bare your knee, resting his hand on it, and you were wondering when he would give his game another go; you knew him and that there was no way he’d be able to resist trying again, now that you were alone.

"Did you enjoy your birthday?" you asked, doing your best to keep your squirming to a minimum as you tried to find a comfortable position.

"Yeah," he answered, glancing at you with a smile. "I loved spending the day with you, seeing my mom—" You stopped by the cemetery on your way to dinner to tell her about your engagement. "—and going to dinner with Pop. Today was nice."

You hugged his arm. "I'm happy you had a good day, even though a certain someone—" Lorraine. "—tried to ruin it. Do you think she'll listen and leave us alone?" There'd been an altercation with her on your walk to the restaurant, and Javi finally had his chance to give her a piece of his mind and threaten her and her family with restraining orders if they didn't stop bothering you.

His eyes were back on the road, a frown replacing his smile.

"Maybe? She's been dead set on making my life difficult since I left her, and I don't know if she'll be able to give up."

"Guess we'll just have to see." A change in subject was needed. "Sooo, do you have any requests for tonight?"

His fingers stroked the inside of your knee.

"What do you mean?"

He started slowly moving his hand along your thigh, your palm resting on his jean-covered leg.

"You know exactly what I mean. It's your birthday, so you get anything you want."

He turned his head your way for a few seconds.

“I thought you had tonight planned.”

"I do." You nodded. "But you're the birthday boy, and I wanna make sure to include any specific desires you may have for this evening."

His focus went to what was in front of him, his fingers skating up your inner thigh and under your dress.

"Hmmm," he hummed. "I know you don't want to spoil tonight, but will I get to eat your pussy?"

"If you want to, sure."

"Are you gonna suck my dick?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Will I get to come inside you?"

There was a pause for a moment as you figured out how to respond. "...yes?"

He looked over at you with a curious expression. "That's... interesting. With how you answered, I'll be coming inside you, but not where I imagined…"

You frowned. "Javier, it is your birthday, and I won't have you ruining my surprises by you going all Detective Peña on me." To end the sentence, you squeezed your thighs shut to trap his hand and keep it from moving any further.

Your reaction made him pout and turn his attention back to the road.

"Fine," he said. "I won't think about it." He sighed. "I know you're not wearing panties. I won't be ruining any surprises if you let me touch you."

"Sure, but I want you to wait until we get home so you can undress me."

"Okay."

You rubbed his arm with your free hand. "Patience, baby—you're gonna have a great time."

His eyes met yours, and he smiled. "I know, mi amor (my love), and I'm fucking excited." He moved his hand out from between your legs to grab your smaller one on his thigh, pressing your palm against where he was half-hard beneath his jeans.

"You are excited,” you purred, rubbing him over his pants. “Better get you nice and hard before we get home.”

“With what I’m hoping will happen tonight? That won’t be an issue, Cielito.”

Once you arrived at your shared apartment, you hung up the jean jacket you were wearing, setting your purse onto the console table near the front door, Javi emptying his pockets into the large bowl on top of it. Both of you kicked off your shoes, and your fiancé laid his folded sports coat over the back of the couch before he was on you, his lips hungrily colliding with yours in a searing kiss—one of his arms went around you to pull you flush against him, his other hand cradling the back of your head, making you moan when he eagerly licked into your mouth.

His kisses were sweet from the cake, tasting it on his tongue, arousal burning hot in your abdomen. He had your toes curling and skin vibrating, wanting him so bad, and he seemed to want you just as much when he turned and walked you toward your room with your lips fused together.

Anticipation was swelling inside you, butterflies going wild in your tummy at hoping Javi really did enjoy what you had in store for him.

As your feet moved, your hands worked open the buttons on his shirt, rubbing your palms up the warm skin of his torso once it was bared, feeling the soft give of his belly to his muscular chest—moving higher along his neck, cupping his cheeks, then pressing your fingers into his soft hair.

The moment you stepped into your room, he unzipped the back of your dress and moved you a little further inside to have you at the end of your big, king-sized bed. Javi broke the kiss, shrugging off his shirt that fell to the floor, his hungry gaze focusing on your chest—he was careful when he took the red, satiny shoulder straps into his hands, and pulled the dress down and off your arms, revealing your bosom, and letting gravity take the rest of it to the ground, where it pooled around your feet.

“Fuck,” he breathed. Javi was unable to stop himself; it was as if there was some kind of magnetic pull that had his hand reaching to palm your lace-covered breast. His eyes had darkened, the front of his jeans bulging where he was straining against the zipper. "This is what you've been hiding all night?" he asked, his free palm massaging your other tit.

His reaction made you feel good about your choice of lingerie.

The red teddy covered most of your breasts and down your ribs in sheer lace with laces crisscrossing from one side to the other on the front and back to keep the pieces together; the best part about it, and what you knew was Javi’s favorite part, was the fact nothing was covering your crotch or ass—it was put on like a one-piece swimsuit, your legs going through two thin straps, with the rest of the bottom completely bare.

There was a similar teddy you owned in a pretty plum color that covered more of your skin in lace.

"Yes," you answered. "Do you like it?"

His gaze met yours, and he stepped into your space, his big hands going around to grab your bare backside.

He was smirking with his eyebrow raised. "Do I like it?" he rasped. Javi squeezed your ass. "You know I fucking love it, mi amor (my love)." His lips met yours, kissing you quickly before he ended it with a playful nip to your bottom lip, pulling his head back to look at you. "You're so fucking sexy—Christ, I want you so fucking bad."

Your hands slid up his chest to caress his cheeks, smiling at him.

"I have another surprise for you..." you said.

His eyes rounded. "There's more?" he asked.

You booped him on the nose with your finger. "Yep," you answered. "You're getting spoiled tonight."

"You don't need to spoil me."

"Um, yes, I do. It's your special day. Plus, you spoiled me on my birthday by letting me tie you up and edge you—this is me making sure your night is just as wonderful." You poked him over his pec.

He grabbed your hand, bringing it up to kiss your knuckles as he smiled. "Happy fucking birthday to me."

"Yes, now, pants off, mister,” you ordered. “I don't want you coming in them." The sentence was punctuated with a wink.

What you said made him chuckle. "Yes, ma'am."

Stepping back from him, his hands went to the front of his jeans to quickly get them off. His belt clinked as he worked it open, hearing the teeth separate when he undid his zipper, the pants getting shoved down his legs, Javi having to do the awkward dance of lifting each foot to tug them off, along with his socks.

Once he was completely naked, he closed the distance between you, his big palms holding your face when he crushed his mouth to yours, kissing you hard. You snaked your hand down into the tight space your bodies had created to grab his throbbing cock, the skin velvety soft and hot to the touch, making him moan into the kiss. His hips bucked forward in your grip while you slowly pumped him. His hand massaged your breast and tweaked your nipple through the lace, his other palm tracing along your jawbone, the shell of your ear, and down to your neck, he gently held as you kissed, leaving a trail of fire under your skin.

"Let me show you your surprise," you murmured against his lips.

"'Mmkay," he said and didn't stop kissing you.

It was up to you to break away from him, Javi chasing your mouth when you did, making you grin and press your hand to his chest to softly push him back—his eyes were closed, his lips turned up in a smile, looking so unbelievably happy.

"Adorable," you whispered.

His chest was slightly heaving from his heavy breaths, his lips red and shining from saliva.

"Open those pretty brown eyes, babe,” you told him. “It’s time for your surprise." They blinked open, and he grabbed your waist.

"What is it?" he asked, his head dipping to kiss along the column of your throat. You took one of his hands and slid it behind you over your ass to between your cheeks.

His breath caught in his throat, his face popping up to meet your eyes with a look of surprise.

“Holy fuck,” he gasped. “Is that…?”

His reaction made you grin even bigger. “A very cute butt plug? Yes, it is.”

The plug was made out of smooth pink-colored glass with a tapered tip and bulbous body, the slender neck making it easy for your tight muscles to wrap around it and hold it in place, the flared base covering your hole shaped into a daisy flower.

As you said, it was very cute and filled you nicely—any time you moved, it had a tingle dancing up your spine, fueling the arousal sparking in your tummy.

His fingers were mapping out the flower, gliding over the petals, his gaze locking onto yours, seeing his cheeks had a lovely pink tint.

"Does this mean what I think it means…?" he asked with hope gleaming in those big, gorgeous brown eyes of his.

"That you can fuck my ass? Yes." You nodded. "I figured the toy would save us some time stretching me out."

He looked beyond delighted. "I am so fucking hard right now—how long have you been wearing it?"

"Since I excused myself at dinner to use the ladies' room—spoiler, I was in there getting this inside me; I brought lube and everything."

He was smiling. "My dirty fucking girl." His hand, not on your ass, came up to cup your cheek. "You kept adjusting in your seat when you got back, I thought you were horny—it's why I kept trying to touch your pussy—confused the fuck out of me that you wouldn't let me."

"I didn't want you to discover the lingerie or accidentally feel the plug."

"I get that now—can I see it?"

"Of course." You kissed him quickly and took a few steps to crawl up onto the bed, your hands and knees sinking into the mattress as you got onto all fours to present your ass to him. Seconds later, his warm palms were grabbing your asscheeks, spreading them.

You looked over your shoulder, and his eyes were glued to your backside.

"It’s so fucking pretty," he mused, rubbing a thumb over the base. “Can I take a picture?”

“Need it for your spank bank collection?”

In his bedside table was a stack of your nude Polaroids he liked to jack off to when the need very rarely arose.

His gaze lifted to yours with a smile. “Yeah, I do.”

“Then go for it.”

He walked away from you to grab the Polaroid camera off his dresser, returning seconds later. One of his hands pushed aside a plump cheek to give him a better visual.

“I fucking love this,” he murmured. The camera flashed, then whirred as it ejected the photo, Javi setting both out of the way on the bed. He was back behind you, staring at what he’d just photographed. “Am I allowed to touch it?” he asked.

"It's your birthday—you get to do whatever the fuck you want to me; mi cuerpo es tu cuerpo (my body is your body)."

He looked you in the eyes.

"I love you so much. I don't know how I got so fucking lucky—you're perfect."

"You're perfect."

His thumb circled around the edges of the glass flower, making you moan when he experimented by pulling it out a little and pushing it back in, loving the stretch—he did it again and again, and, again, Javi leaning his head down to spit on your pussy, the fingers of his other hand spreading it through your slit to rub your clit.

There was no way to stop your gasping moans as the toy was fucking in and out of your tight hole at the same time his hand strummed your bundle of sensitive nerves like a virtuoso—the sensations had your eyes rolling back in your head, the muscles in your abdomen starting to tighten as he built you up, higher and higher.

You had to face forward, your arms giving out, and crossing in front of you to rest your head on them—this was going to end quickly with how fucking good it felt, and you weren’t surprised when your orgasm hit, pleasure washing over you with a loud cry of his name.

Your breaths were ragged, sweat beginning to form on your skin.

“My good girl,” Javi purred. Both of his hands suddenly stopped, and a palm smacked the side of your ass, the sharp sting making you gasp.

"I need to eat your pussy," his voice was deeper and huskier.

Your entire body flattened onto the bed, and you turned on your side to look at him. The words came out hoarse, "How do you want me?"

"We can do anything I want...?" he asked. "Is there, uh, anything you're not in the mood for?"

Your eyebrow lifted. "Aside from my regular things I'm not into, nope—I'm down for whatever you want. What do you have in mind?"

He smirked. "You sitting on my face?"

You smiled. "Of course, you'd wanna drown in my pussy on your birthday."

"Yeah, and, uh—" He scratched at the back of his neck. "—would you wanna suck me off while I did it...?"

With how much you guys fucked, you were pretty sure Javi had put you in every position imaginable, but this request was new. Sitting on his face was something you’d done many times, but adding in having you blow him at the same time had your cunt clenching hard around nothing.

"Um, yes," you answered, nodding your head. "That is definitely something I want to do. Get your cute little ass on this bed and get comfy." You patted the bedding beside you. "I wanna take that perfect mustache for a ride."

Javi chuckled as he got onto the mattress and moved up it to flop over on his back, resting his head on a pillow he fluffed to get cozy. His hard dick was lying against his belly, the tip glossy with precum and dripping into the happy trail of hair on his stomach.

It took him a second to get settled before he tapped his chest, his eyes heavy-lidded and crookedly smiling.

“Get up here, baby—this mustache isn’t gonna ride itself.”

You snorted and started to crawl his way.

"Dork," you said.

"One you love."

"That I do.”

When you got to his side, you swung yourself around to face his feet, getting your leg over his torso to straddle him. Javi gripped your thighs and pulled you back to have your wet pussy hovering over his face, two of his fingers spreading open the lips of your sex.

"So fucking pretty," he murmured. He inhaled deeply. "You smell so good, too."

His cock was in front of you, and you held yourself up with one arm to wrap the fingers of your other hand around his length.

"In case I haven't said it lately," you started, languidly stroking him, "you literally have the prettiest dick I've ever seen.”

It was true.

He did have the prettiest dick you've ever laid your eyes on—at full mast, he was just shy of eight inches, cut, not too thin, but not too girthy, either; it was just the right size that when he was inside you, there was a nice stretch and perfect fullness. On the underside of his shaft, two throbbing veins were crawling up the sides and another along the top you liked to trace with your tongue; licking around the velvety soft ridge at the tip and over his frenulum was a surefire way to drive him crazy and get him to make absolutely delicious noises, and when he was coming, you could feel him get bigger and jerk in your mouth, hand, or cunt. If you were looking, you could see his balls draw up and his cock pulse as he unloaded spurts and spurts of his come.

It was truly a work of art.

“And being in a medical profession,” you continued, “I’ve seen a lot of dicks—95% I wish I hadn't seen."

He snorted. "Thank you—you have the prettiest pussy I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of pussy."

"The prettiest pussy?" You didn't mean to sound so surprised. "Really?"

"Oh yeah, the prettiest and the fucking tastiest."

It was evident Javi was done with the conversation by how he tugged your hips down onto his face and began feasting—which was an apt descriptor for how he eagerly dove in and the groans he made that sounded like he was eating the best meal of his entire life.

He licked through your wetness and over the lips of your cunt to get every last drop of your arousal he could find on his tongue; it felt so amazing you forgot for a minute you were supposed to be sucking him off. Gripping him at the base, you took him into your mouth, your head bobbing as you sucked down more and more of him until he was hitting the back of your throat.

His lips wrapped around your perky little clit, and when he sucked, it was like having lightning shock through you from the pleasure, your loud moan muffled by his cock in your mouth—it was hard to concentrate, and you put what little attention you had on the tip of him, licking along the sensitive ridge, pumping the rest of his spit-slick shaft with your palm that twitched, and loving how it made Javi whine.

He tasted salty from the steady leak of precum and clean, the scent of his skin smelling like the body wash he used in the shower. The lingering note coming through was Eucalyptus—woodsy, fresh, minty.

It was embarrassing that you were struggling to give him a basic blow job, doing your best not to get overwhelmed by his determined mouth trying to take you apart piece by piece as he licked, sucked, and tongue fucked you with abandon.

Fire was burning in your tummy and getting hotter with every second that passed. His dick was sliding along your palate to kiss the back of your throat, and you almost choked when he pulled and pushed on the toy in your ass.

It was skating the line of too much, how the plug was moving a little out to stretch your hole and being shoved back in to fill you again—thinking was hard, and you had to come off of him, unable to keep from moaning or stop your limbs from trembling.

“Oh, god,” you whined. “Oh, fuck.”

With how intense it felt, there was no way you could focus on sucking him off. What you could do was continue stroking his length, your hand gliding easily up and down while you were rocketing toward your end from him fucking you with the toy and sucking your clit. Your hips were moving of their own accord, rocking back to help fuck yourself and grind against his mouth.

Sixty-nining sounded fun in theory. The problem you ran into was your fiancé was relentless in wanting to make you come as hard as humanly possible, which made it practically impossible for you to do your part—it was too distracting. The pleasure had consumed all of your thoughts, and you could barely function.

The coil was winding inside you, getting tighter and tighter until it snapped, and euphoria was exploding from your center with a cry of his name, feeling your orgasm throughout your entire body from the tips of your fingers to your toes. Immediately, he shoved his tongue inside your fluttering hole to lick up your release, refusing to let a single drop of your come go to waste, and you could feel and hear his moans as you experienced the aftershocks of your climax.

With how hard you came, your hand paused on him, your upper body dropping, resting your head on his thigh to catch your breath and ride out your high.

Javi stopped behind you, lifting you from his face and inhaling deeply, taking big gasps of air.

"You okay?" his voice was rough.

"Mhmm," you hummed, speaking seeming too hard.

"You need a minute?"

"Mhmm."

"Let go of my dick."

You did as he asked and squeaked in surprise when he pushed you over to fall to the bed on your side.

"Sorry," he said. The mattress jostled, and pained grunts sounded from him, finding yourself seconds later getting wrapped up in his arms with your head on his chest.

“Did it feel good?” he asked and kissed your hair.

“Mhmm.”

“You come so quick with stuff in your ass.”

You smiled, finally finding your words. “You also come quick with stuff in your ass.”

“Yeah, I do—do you want me to fuck you while you’re wearing it?”

“Do you want to fuck me while I’m wearing it?”

“I wanna see how tight it makes you.”

“Uh-huh, and you wanna come in my pussy because you are on a mission to knock me up, and you would hate missing a chance.”

“That’s not all—it helps me last when I fuck your ass.”

“That’s true. It’s basically a medicinal cream pie. You know, earlier this year, they came out with a pill to help men keep it up, and we had a guy come into the ER who’d taken one—which, just so you’re aware,” you sidetracked, “if you have an erection lasting more than four hours, you need to seek medical help, and this dude was at almost six hours with a raging boner.”

He was frowning. “Did it go down on its own…?”

“Nope. A doctor had to use a syringe to remove some of the blood.”

"Jesus Christ, just thinking about that makes my dick hurt."

"Sorry." You rubbed your hand over his pec. "Let's talk about something else."

"Where'd you get the toy?"

A reasonable question, seeing as the closest sex shop was hours away in the big city.

"Okay, remember last month when you, me, Robyn, and Seb—" Sebastián, or Seb, was Robyn's boyfriend and Javi's cousin. "—spent that weekend in San Antonio, and you guys let us have our girls-only spa day while you and Seb went to see that movie about corrupt NSA agents that annoyed the fuck out of you because they got a lot of the government shit wrong, which you explained in excruciating detail to Seb at a bar afterward? Well, after the spa, she took me to a sex shop, and we bought some stuff."

"If you’re gonna make a movie about a government agency, you should do the fucking research,” he grumbled. His tone changed to intrigue, “What else did you buy…?"

"Some flavored lube and fluffy handcuffs. I was super picky about the kind of plug I wanted because you’d be surprised how many people come into the hospital with things stuck in their asses.” A memory made you snort. “Oh my god, so one time, this man came in with probably twenty or so of those bigger marbles? You know, the ones that are about double the size of a regular one? Lodged up his butt. When he was asked how they got stuck in there, he told everyone he was at home, standing on a step ladder, cleaning the cobwebs from the ceiling when he accidentally fell off and onto a container of them—this man stood by his story that instead of the marbles scattering everywhere when he fell on them, they magically made their way inside him.”

“What the fuck?” Javi said in disbelief. “He really thought people would believe he was cleaning without pants on, fell, and marbles just went up his ass? That makes zero fucking sense.”

“People come up with the stupidest lies when they’re embarrassed.”

“Like when you told the hotel staff we were checking out early because my nephew was viciously attacked by a duck?”

“You’re a jerk.” You pinched his nipple, making him flinch and laugh. “You’re just never going to let me live that down, huh?”

He grabbed your hand to kiss your palm. “No—you’re a terrible liar.”

“Rude.”

“I’m sorry, baby.” He kissed each of your fingers. “Did you buy anything else at the shop?”

“No, because I wanna go there with you to pick out things we’d enjoy."

He perked up, immediately responding, "We could go next weekend?"

"Shopping the weekend before Christmas? That would be a special kind of hell. Sorry, babe, we'll have to wait till next month." You got your hand free of him and patted his chest.

He let out a long, disappointed sigh. "Fine."

Things needed to get back to being horny, so you threw your leg over his waist and moved to sit on top of him with your knees bracketing his hips. His cock was wet from saliva and hard beneath you, and you leaned forward to kiss him, holding yourself up with your arms on either side of his head—this wasn't a peck on the lips or something chaste; this was a kiss that told him you wanted him. The kind of kiss that had his big hands grabbing onto your behind and groaning into your mouth. A kiss where things quickly heated up, and he was helping you grind your wet cunt over his dick, coating it in your slick. A kiss that turned into desperation for him to be inside you.

“Mmm, need lube,” you said into his lips. Sitting up, you leaned to get under the large, folded, black towel near the edge of the bed to grab the small bottle. You popped the cap, pouring a little bit into your palm before closing it and letting it fall onto the mattress beside you.

“With how huge your dick is,” you started as you lifted your hips up. “There’s no way in hell you’re gonna fit without some help.” Javi’s mouth fell open when you grabbed his cock under you, getting it nice and slick with the strokes of your hand.

His throat bobbed, swallowing. “Good call.” With how his eyes widened for a split second, you knew an idea had come to him. He grabbed your thighs. “Wait,” he said.

Your hand paused. “What’s up?”

“I wanna change positions.”

That had your eyebrows lifting in interest. “Oh?”

He was crookedly smiling. “Hands and knees, baby,” he replied, with a light slap to your hip.

“Oh, hell yeah.” You’d finished lubing him up and quickly moved onto the bed next to him, getting into the position he requested, your hands and slightly spread knees sinking into the mattress. Javi groaned when he flipped over and rose up onto his knees, the bedsprings complaining as he shuffled around to get behind you.

The smartest decision you made when you moved in together was upgrading to a king-sized bed—there was so much room for sexy activities.

Bending forward, he reached to grab the camera and set it in a place where it was easily accessible but not in the way.

He slid his dick through your drenched folds, notching himself at your entrance, his other hand holding your hip.

“Tell me if it’s too much,” he said. “Okay?”

Looking over your shoulder, you met his eyes that were more black than brown. “Yes,” you answered.

He smiled. “Good girl—ready?”

“Yes, Papí.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, his eyes closing for a moment. He looked at you again. “Me vas a matar (You’re going to kill me).”

“If by kill, you mean la petite mort, then yeah, handsome, I’m gonna make you come so hard.” You winked. “Now, stick it in.” You pressed back the tiniest bit to have the tip of him starting to enter you.

“And you call me bossy when I’m horny,” he mumbled.

There wasn’t a chance to respond since moans sounded from the both of you as he slowly started sinking into you, taking his time to let your body adjust to being stuffed with each glorious inch of him until he was buried all the way to the root inside of you.

Full didn’t accurately describe how you felt with the plug in your ass pressing against his thick cock—you were beyond full. You honestly couldn’t believe he was able to fit; you couldn’t believe you were able to take him. It was so overwhelming, it had you whimpering, squeezing your eyes shut.

Javi’s voice came out strained, “Are you okay?”

There was no way you could hold yourself up on your arms with it requiring too much concentration, so you let your upper body fall to the bed, cradling your head with your limbs.

“Yes,” the word was said on a breath.

All of the nerves in your body were aflame, feeling like static was thrumming under your skin. You were okay—you just needed a minute to get used to having both of your holes filled at the same time.

“Okay, baby.” He rubbed a comforting hand along the line of your spine. “Tell me when you want me to move.”

He picked up the Polaroid camera.

“Definitely gonna jerk off to this,” he murmured, and you heard the camera snap the picture and the gears whir to spit it out—he’d taken a photo of himself inside of you while you wore the plug.

The camera and picture were set aside.

There was a question you couldn’t stop yourself from asking. “Am I tighter?”

He huffed out a breath. “Feels like you’re choking my dick with that toy in your ass—so, yeah, you’re tighter. You’ll probably cut off the circulation when I make you come, and you squeeze around me.”

Even though it was a struggle to think of anything other than the fullness, he made you worry. “Are you uncomfortable?” you asked. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable…”

“Mi amor.” He bent over your back to kiss the hair behind your ear, speaking softly, “I’m okay—I like how it feels. I’m really fucking worried I’m gonna come too fast.”

That made you feel better.

After an ample amount of time had passed for you to get used to everything, you said, “Move.”

He nipped at the shell of your ear, grunting as he straightened. He gripped your asscheeks and slowly dragged his cock halfway out of your sopping cunt before thrusting back in, stealing your breath. His pace started out languid to allow you to adapt to the feeling of him moving inside you, rough sounds rumbling from his chest, his fingers tightening on your flesh.

The plug made it easier for him to rub against all those spots that made fireworks dance behind your eyelids. Sweat glistened on your skin, the pleasure making you dizzy, and even though it had only just begun, you were already on the cusp of falling over the edge—intense was an understatement for how you felt. The heat was growing deep inside you, deeper than it usually did, the muscles in your tummy constricting.

His hips were slowly fucking into you, Javi grunting, and it was like nothing you had felt before—feeling so full and falling apart with every thrust.

“Oh, god, Javi,” you whined. “I’m gonna come. You’re gonna make me come.”

With how he spoke through clenched teeth, you knew he was fighting for his life not to finish so soon, “Come for me, baby.” He smacked your ass, the pleasurable sting making you clench and his rhythm stutter. “Shit,” he gasped. “You’re so fucking tight—it feels so good.”

It was wet and sticky where you were joined, Javi coaxing wave after wave of arousal from your pussy that soaked his cock and dripped down to coat his balls—his thrusts were loud, squelching sounding every time he pushed in. Moans were escaping your lips while deeper noises ripped from his chest.

Javier wasn’t a tiny guy—just his cock made you feel full, and now you had it pressing into your sensitive walls against a rigid toy that turned up the sense of fullness to a ten and felt so fucking incredible that when he sped up his strokes, you were done for; pleasure erupted from deep in your depths that had your mouth opening in a silent scream and every muscle in your body pulling taut, hearing the man behind you let out a strangled groan as he suddenly stopped moving.

No thoughts could form in your brain, your chest rising and falling hard, your pussy pulsing as you rode out the high. Your ears rang, and you were too out of it to make out what Javi was saying, him sounding like the adults in a Peanuts film; a muted trombone going, ”Wah wah wah.”

A body pressed against your back, feeling hot breaths on your ear.

“Cielito?” he whispered.

“Mhmm?” you hummed.

“You okay, mi amor?”

“Mhmm,” you answered and gave him a thumbs up.

“Do you want me to keep going?”

The words slurred from your mouth, “Yes, please. I want you to come.”

“Okay. If it gets to be too much, tell me.” He kissed your hair, a pained sound leaving him as he moved up on his knees again.

Each time you’d done anal in the past, he’d made you come so many times you ended up passing out afterward. This time, though, the orgasms had been much stronger, and it was already hard to keep your eyes open—there was a chance if you had another, it was going to put you to sleep, and you knew Javi wouldn’t care, but you felt bad about possibly needing a little nap before he had a chance to fuck your ass.

“Javi?” you said.

“Yes, baby?” His palms slid along your sides from your waist to just below your ribs.

“I’m sorry if I fall asleep…”

He sounded confused. “Why are you apologizing for that…?”

“Because I know you’re super excited my ass is up for grabs tonight, and I feel bad I might have to make you wait while I take a little snooze.”

“Cielito, mi amor, it’s okay. Don’t be sorry, baby. I’m gonna tell you something that might surprise you.”

“What’s that?”

“Getting to fuck your pussy like this is better than fucking your ass.”

That surprised you so much that your eyes popped open, and you almost couldn’t believe him, except you knew he wasn’t lying since he was always truthful with you. Your knees were still under you with your butt up in the air, and Javi nestled all of the way inside you, your chest pressed to the mattress. You twisted your upper body to look back at him.

His forehead was shiny with sweat, his hair sticking wetly to it, a beautiful flush rising from his chest up to his cheeks, his darkened eyes meeting yours.

“Are you serious?” you asked.

His eyebrow arched. “Yeah? Why would I lie? Think about it—the plug makes your pussy so fucking tight, and I get to come in it.” He put it into plainer terms, “You’re tighter than hell, and I could knock you up.”

“Oh, you’re having the best time.”

He smiled. “I’m having the best fucking time.”

“You like the plug?”

“I love the plug. Do you like it?”

“Yeah, makes me come harder.”

“Then stop feeling bad.” He slapped your ass, and it made you tense, his mouth going slack and eyes closing at you clenching around his dick. “Jesus Christ,” he breathed, his throat worked as he swallowed hard. “It’s okay if you pass out,” he said. “I might pass out, too.”

He pulled himself almost all of the way out of your cunt, and pushed back in, the fullness making your head spin and pleasure simmer in your belly. He was definitely going to get you off again, and you no longer worried about what would happen when you did.

He was going to come, and it'd only been—he looked over at the red numbers of the alarm clock on the bedside table—eight fucking minutes since he first put his dick inside her, or more accurately, worked his dick inside her.

Javier knew it was going to be a tight fit, but what he hadn't expected was it feeling like when he pressed into her ass: the ring of muscle squeezing him hard as he fed himself into her. With the addition of the plug, there was the same tightness, yet it wasn't only at the opening; it extended further into her, massaging his cock with her hot, tight, velvety walls. He was balancing on a razor's edge to not blow his load, and her coming didn't help with how it made her pussy strangle his dick to the point it was toeing the line of being painful.

He was in heaven.

And when he made her come again, he knew she was going to take him with her.

He was rock hard, his heart thudding rapidly in his chest, and skin coated in a thin layer of sweat—Javier was wound up so tight, a ball of tension had formed in his gut that was threatening to burst; she said the toy made her come harder, and it looked like it was going to be the same for him.

His fingers dug into the soft skin on her hips, sliding himself in and out of her wet heat and having to take a big, calming breath, slowly letting it out to get himself under control and focus on not finishing so quickly.

Shifting his gaze down, he could see his cock covered in her juices, glimmering under the lights of the room before sheathing it back inside of her, and the pretty, pink glass flower covering her asshole. He was so sensitive from being close to losing it, the pressure from the toy's solid body and the warmth of her were driving him crazy and making him throb.

He increased the speed of his movements, gritting his teeth, her sounds spurring him on. He wanted to make her come once more, but he didn't have much time with the pleasure welling up in him and growing with every passing second.

His hand gripped her asscheek, his strokes not waning as the fingers of his other hand got ahold of the plug's flared base, pulling on it to stretch her hole until only the tip remained, and slipping it back in, doing that over and over again, and out of sync to his own thrusts.

The way she loudly moaned his name and stretched her arms out in front of her to clutch the bedding with her cheek to the mattress had him twitching inside of her, electricity shocking through his body. Her pussy was pulsating around him, her arousal seeping down his shaft to catch on his sack, and he knew she was close.

"You gonna give me one more, Cielito?" he grunted, continuing to fuck her with his dick and the toy. "Does it feel good getting both of your holes fucked?"

"Yes," she gasped. "Oh my fucking god, it feels so good, Javi." Her hands clenched the sheets, her body shaking. "You’re fucking me so good—marry me; put a baby in me." His rhythm faltered for a second at the stab of pleasure in his belly, and he groaned.

The muscles in his groin started contracting, his orgasm imminent, and he tried to hold it off. His hips moved faster, beads of perspiration dripping down his face and the small of his back.

"I will," he panted. "I'll marry you; I'll fuck a baby into you. I'll do anything you ask me to." His eyes were cinched tight, and he was so lost in her that his thoughts were flowing freely from his mouth. "Dime cuándo, y te haré mi esposa (Tell me when, and I'll make you my wife). En cualquier momento, soy tuyo (Any time, I'm yours). Siempre seré tuyo (I'll always be yours). Puedes tener mi apellido (You can have my last name). Seguiré intentándolo hasta que estés embarazada con nuestro bebé (I'll keep trying until you're pregnant with our baby). Serás la madre de mis hijos (You will be the mother of my children). I can't fucking wait—come for me," he ordered. "Give me one more, and my come is yours. I'll pump you full of it. I'll put a baby in you. Come for me," he all but begged.

That was it.

She gasped his name, her body going stiff, and cunt spasming, wringing out his own orgasm—his hips went flush to her ass, burying himself as deep as possible in her depths, the tightly wound ball in his belly snapping hard enough, he fell forward, blanketing her back. The sounds he made were guttural as pleasure seared through his entire being, his cock pulsing and pumping so many spurts of his come he thought it might never end.

His brain went blissfully blank, his body completely lax, his soul possibly leaving him for some seconds since everything went dark, and he couldn't think of a single thought.

When he came to, he was bone tired and on the verge of falling asleep. Thankfully, he had the presence of mind to bring her with him as he moved to lie on his side, her limbs trembling, and he knew she was sleeping when there was no reaction to him removing the toy from inside her; it was tossed onto the bed near them, and then he tugged on the duvet behind him to pull it over their bodies and hugged her close with one arm, pressing his nose into her hair to breathe in her comforting scent, the ring on the hand he was holding causing him to pass out while happily thinking about how pretty soon she’d be his wife.

Time passed as they slumbered, minutes turning into hours. They shifted in their sleep and he woke when the warmth of her front pressed along the line of his spine disappeared, the springs in the mattress softly squeaking as she moved to get off it with a whispered, "Sorry." He heard her walk into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

He threw the blanket off of him and got out of bed, not caring at all that he was naked as his bare feet took him to the kitchen, where he got two large cups of cold water.

When Cielito came back into the bedroom, she found him standing by the bed chugging one of the glasses, and she joined him to drink her own. He finished before her, setting his empty cup on the nearby bedside table and taking some steps to end up behind her, wrapping his arms around her lingerie-covered middle. His lips met the side of her neck, kissing up it to nibble on her ear.

She hummed in appreciation, resting her free hand on one of his arms. She swallowed her drink of water. "Did you have a good time, baby?" she asked.

He spoke softly in her ear, "Yes."

Her fingers slid along his arm.

"Good. Are you up for another round, or do you wanna shower, and we can cuddle on the couch and watch something?"

Truth be told, he was exhausted from how eventful the last four days had been, and he didn't think he had the energy to go again—he was drained, and his dick was starting to ache from using it so much in Miami.

"Shower and couch," he answered, kissing a spot behind her ear. Her hand came up to press her fingers into his hair, and it made him shiver.

"Sounds good. Let me finish my water, and then we can go get clean."

"Thank you for today." He was peppering kisses along her shoulder now.

"You're welcome, babe. I'm happy you enjoyed it."

"I loved it."

"I love you."

"I know. I love you, too—I love you so fucking much."

"Same."

Forty-five minutes later, they were clean and changed—Javier was wearing his grey sweatpants, and his future wife was in a faded, thinned, oversized purple t-shirt and her underwear. She was sitting on the kitchen counter beside him eating a grilled cheese while he made his own sandwich on the stove.

At dinner, he noticed she didn’t eat much, and when he quietly asked if she was feeling okay, she told him she was fine and just not very hungry, which turned out to be a dirty fucking lie with how her stomach loudly grumbled on their way to take a shower. So, the first thing he did after they were dressed was feed her; she tried to fight him that it was his birthday and she should be cooking for him, and he responded by telling her it was his birthday and he wanted to make her something to eat. She agreed to grilled cheese sandwiches, and he had to sit her ass on the counter and tell her not to move in order to keep her from trying to help him.

“This is the best grilled cheese I have ever had in my entire life,” she said around the food in her mouth.

He huffed out a breath, flipping the sandwich in the pan with a black plastic spatula. “You’re only saying that because you’re fucking starving,” he replied.

She swallowed. “Lies—it’s the world’s best. You could win awards for how good this is.” Half of her sandwich was already eaten, and she took another bite.

Javier set the plastic utensil onto the counter on his other side and stepped to have himself standing between her legs. He rubbed his palms up her bare thighs, kissing her forehead. “I’m glad you like the sandwich, Cielito,” he said, looking at her. “Do you want me to make you another?”

She was chewing and shook her head, swallowing. “No, thank you. One is enough.”

“I can cut up some fruit? We got enough today at the grocery store for me to make you a fruit salad?”

Her hand pressed to his cheek, her gaze turning soft, and he leaned into her palm. “I’m okay, Javi,” she said. “This one sandwich is enough.”

He frowned. “You told me you were fine at the restaurant and not very hungry, but that wasn’t true, mi amor. I know it was because of the sex tonight—”

“Birthday sex,” she interrupted. “Birthday sex is special and worth going a little hungry for.” “I disagree with that…” His sandwich was finished, and he moved back to the stove, sliding it directly from the pan and onto a waiting plate next to the spatula.

“What do you mean you disagree with that?” she asked.

He put the pan on one of the cold back burners and switched off the stove, returning to his spot in front of her. His eyes were on hers, smoothing his hands along her thighs and under her shirt to hold her hips. “I mean that we’re trying to have a baby, and I don’t like the idea of you not eating enough for yourself and our child just so we can fuck.”

“Oh.” Her attention went to her lap.

“In the future, eat as much as you need—do something light if you’re really worried.” He lifted her chin with his finger to look at him. “Can you promise me that, Cielito? Can you do that for me so I won’t worry?”

“Yes.” She nodded.

“Thank you.” He slotted his lips against hers, kissing her tenderly. When they separated, he asked, “Another sandwich or fruit?”

“Fruit, please,” she answered. “Can you do it with Tajín and chamoy like the fruit cart?”

She was talking about the fruit cart on the side of one of the busier streets downtown where you could get freshly cut fruits like mango, jícama, papaya, and watermelon, and they did vasos de frutas (fruit cups) similar to the street vendors in Mexico; cups filled with a variety of cubed fruits and topped with Tajín (a powder made of chile, lime, and salt), and chamoy (a thick sauce made out of pickled fruit like mango, plums, and apricot that was mixed with spicy chiles, and a salty brine—it’s a tasty mixture that was sweet, spicy, salty, and sour).

The combined ingredients created a refreshing snack that perfectly balanced the sweet, tangy, and spicy flavors.

He smiled. “Of course, mi amor.” He gave her a quick peck on the lips before making his way to the fridge to start getting out the fruits.

She hopped off the counter after she finished her sandwich to stand next to him, holding up his grilled cheese for him to take bites of while he chopped the fruit and chatting with him about random things on her mind.

They were sitting on the couch, her legs on his lap, and had just finished their vasos de frutas (fruit cups), which ended up being tazones de frutas (fruit bowls) while they watched the first Jurassic Park movie. His empty bowl was on the coffee table in front of them, his hands busy gliding over her legs and thighs. She leaned forward to set her dish down beside his as Dr. Malcolm discussed the moral implications of the island's scientists only caring about what they could and couldn't do and not if they should. Cielito moved to get up, and his face lifted toward hers.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

Her eyes met his. "First, I'm gonna go put the bowls in the sink." She bent to pick up one in each hand and straightened. "Then I need to go grab something."

"What do you need, and I'll get it?" He started to stand, wanting to help so they could get back to cuddling quicker.

"Nope,” she said, and he stopped. "I'll get it. You just sit there and keep looking pretty." She smiled.

He frowned. "Okay."

She left the room, and he couldn't pay attention to what was on the television, instead listening to her rinsing the bowls out in the kitchen sink, followed by her footsteps as she made her way back through the living room, his head turning to watch her on her journey into the bedroom where she disappeared from view.

He wondered what she needed—maybe she wanted to paint her nails and had to choose a color of nail polish. Or she was going to get the stuff for face masks, which was something he enjoyed; his skin hadn't looked this good since he was in his early twenties.

"I'll be out in a minute, babe," she called from the other room. "I need to check the message on the answering machine."

"Take your time," he replied, hoping she didn't.

The fingers of his right hand were tapping absentmindedly on his knee.

His gaze went up to the clock on the wall, seeing it was a little after eleven, his eyes following the big hand as it ticked away each second.

Tick, tick, tick.

A whole minute passed before she returned to him, his eyebrows pulling together at her frowning face.

"Who called?" he asked.

"My mother."

That explained it.

"What did she want?"

"She said she had some exciting news and needed to talk to me about something important."

"Any idea what either could be...?"

A long, drawn-out sigh left her. "Yeah, most likely it's to tell me my brother's wife is pregnant again—they've been trying for months."

She found out they started trying the night he first told her he loved her. His face relaxed, understanding now that she was upset by the possible news.

He rose from the sofa and went to her in three steps, wrapping her in his arms to hold her close. He kissed her cheek and whispered, "It'll be us telling people the same news soon—they just had a head start. Don't let it get you down, okay? Everything is okay. We're okay. We’re happy, and that’s all that fucking matters."

He felt her relax in his hold.

"You're right—they've had more time."

He pulled back to look at her, smiling softly.

"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure I can knock you up in the same amount of months. Hell, maybe I'll be so fucking good at it that I’ll get you pregnant with twins."

That made her giggle, and her mouth turned up in his favorite smile.

"You're ridiculous," she said. "It's not a competition."

"It is now—we're gonna beat their time."

She playfully rolled her eyes.

"I love you, you goober." She kissed him, and when she broke away, there was a serious look on her face. "Let's stick to one baby for my first pregnancy, please."

"That's not how it works..." he said slowly. "It's a gamble, Cielito."

"Yes, I know that Javier, but let's not put the idea out into the universe."

"Okay—un bebé (one baby). That's all I'll wish for or whatever the fuck."

"Even though I know you're being a lying liar who lies because you'd be beyond happy if there was more than one baby—“ That was true; he’d love getting two babies for the price of one. “—I appreciate the thought. Now, enough about me. You need to open your birthday present."

His face scrunched in confusion. "Didn't I do that when I took off your clothes…?"

"That was only the sexy birthday present. I also got you an actual present."

He was so worried about her that he hadn’t realized she was holding something. She held up a rectangular gift wrapped in solid, bright red wrapping paper.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” he said. “Today was perfect.”

“Sure, but as I told you when you were undressing me, you’re getting spoiled tonight. Please open this. I’m nervous about it.”

“Why are you nervous?” he asked, taking it from her.

“Because I put a lot of time into it, and I’m pretty sure you’re going to love it, but there’s a chance it’ll make you sad.”

That had him curious. He stepped away and grabbed her hand to lead her to the couch, pulling her down to sit beside him.

It wasn’t too heavy or light, and when he felt it, it was firm. He thought it might be a book. Tearing open the wrapping paper, he discovered it was actually a maroon-colored leather-bound photo album.

He glanced over at her.

“We have our photo album of us we put together. What’s this one?”

He asked the question even though he had an idea of what it could be.

She gave him a reassuring smile. “Open it, and you’ll see.”

He did as he was instructed, and his breath caught in his throat—the first picture was of him as a newborn being held by his mother in a hospital bed. His birth hadn’t been the easiest, and the exhaustion was clear on her face, yet she was grinning. The next photo was in the same spot, but this time, she was gazing at him in her arms with a look that showed she was in love and unbelievably happy. His eyes started watering, turning to the next page to find more pictures of newborn him and his mom now taken at home. All the pages after that featured the same thing: it was always just him and his mom. Some of the photos he’d seen in other albums his father had, there were many, though, that this was the first time he’d come across them.

He lost count of how many were of them in the kitchen, seeing them both age through the years and him doing more to help her as he grew.

There was one where he was maybe three, standing on a dining room chair with his mother beside him as he used a tortilladora (tortilla press) on the table to flatten tortillas, one perfectly done on the plate. His face was turned up toward her with a toothy grin, and she was gazing upon him fondly and clearly proud—it was the first time he had made a tortilla.

He was maybe six in another, using a stool in order to reach the stove with her watching from behind him as he stirred a giant pot he knew had the sauce for her tamales—it was the first time she walked him step by step on how to make them, and it reminded him of something she said that day: “Un día, tu esposa hará esta receta y necesitas poder ayudarla, así que presta atención, Javiercito (One day, your wife will make this recipe and you need to be able to help her, so pay attention, Javier).” And she was right. He had used what she taught him to help his wif-fiancée make her tamales. He even showed Cielito some of the techniques his mother used to make the process easier.

His father had captured a lot of wonderful moments, including one when he had to be about ten with how he’d shot up in height and was almost as tall as his mother—they had matching grins and were mid-dance in the kitchen, her left hand held in his right and their arms around each other’s backs.

So many memories came back to him of times they spent together, and there was even a picture of the last time they made a tres leches cake for his birthday, both laughing about something he couldn’t remember, and it made him smile at how happy they looked.

The final photo was of him in his senior year of college after a swim meet. He’d changed back into his clothes—some jeans and a baby blue button-up shirt, his hair still wet, and a gold medal around his neck. His mother was embracing him from the side, her head barely reaching his shoulders, Javier hugging her back; big smiles were on their faces, and happiness was shining in their matching chocolate-colored eyes as they looked at the camera.

Seeing all of the sweet moments they shared already had him on the verge of tears, and this one broke him, knowing it was his last competition before he met Lorraine—his shoulders shook with sobs as he let himself cry.

The album only contained the memories of before his life went to shit—when he was on track to make his dream of swimming in the Olympics come true, his mother was still alive, he hadn’t hurt his parents with his bad choices, and life was good and still made sense.

“Oh, Javi,” Cielito’s voice was soft, and he welcomed her arms that enveloped him. “I’m so sorry—I worried it’d upset you. I shouldn’t have made this. I’ll take the pictures back to Pop’s.” She reached for the album, and he held it away.

“No,” he said through the tears, his words coming out gravelly. “It’s perfect—I love it.” Closing the book, he set it on the coffee table in front of them before he twisted his body to pull her into his arms, burying his face in her neck. Her hands were rubbing soothingly over his back. “Thank you,” his muffled voice said, tears wetting her skin. “Thank you for making it—it brought back so much happy shit I’d forgotten.”

“You really love the album?” she asked.

He pulled back to look her in the eyes and nodded with a little smile. “Yeah, it really is perfect. You wanna know something?”

“What?”

“I can’t wait to show it to our kids one day.” Her face brightened. “I know you’ll probably cook with them, and they’ll love seeing photos of their abuela (grandma) and papá (dad) doing the same.”

“Oh, I’m absolutely cooking with our kids,” she said, and it had warmth spread through his veins. “Your dad let me go through the boxes, plural, of loose photos he has—side note, I have never seen so many, and I’m pretty sure he’s single-handedly keeping the one-hour photo kiosk in business.”

“Probably,” he chuckled.

Growing up, whenever his father wasn’t working out on the ranch, he was spending time with Javier and his mom, and it was pretty typical for Chucho to get out his camera or video camera to snap pictures or record whatever they were doing—his dad was a sentimental guy. With Javier being his only child, he wanted to ensure they documented as much as possible to look back on fondly.

“Anyways,” she continued. “I went through hundreds, maybe even thousands of photos, and in every single one of you with your mom in the kitchen, you both look so fucking happy, and then add in that some of your favorite memories are cooking with her, and I want that for our babies, too. I want them to have happy memories of learning to cook with their mom and dad.”

His vision was blurring with unshed tears, feeling so unbelievably happy he might combust.

“You want me there, too?”

“Um, yes, Javi. As your mother would say, ‘Eres mi buena suerte (You’re my good luck).’ You gotta be there to at least take a ton of pictures.”

He was smiling. “I’d love that.”

“Good.” She kissed him, just a press of her lips to his, and it wasn’t enough; he deepened it with a swipe of his tongue along her bottom lip, and when she granted him access by opening her mouth a little, he was delving inside to tangle their tongues.

He didn’t know how he got so lucky finding her—she was perfect. Somehow, she made him fall more in love with her with each passing day.

Hearing her say she wanted their children to experience the same happiness he did with his mother had him feeling over the moon and even more excited about them starting their family—she was going to be an incredible mom to their kids, and it filled him with joy knowing, without a doubt, they’ll get to grow up like him with parents who will not only love them more than anything but each other to the point their children will be disgusted by their open affection. Their kids were going to have happy childhoods where they knew they were loved and cherished and got nothing but encouragement for their dreams. It would be drastically different than how Cielito was raised, and that was what she wanted; she couldn’t fathom treating her children the same way her parents treated her. There wouldn’t be one kid who was loved more than another, and they definitely were going to be proud of their babies no matter what. She was breaking a cycle of neglect and impossible standards to ensure their children only knew love and acceptance.

Their breaths were coming out heavier when their mouths detached.

She smiled, the sentence coming out breathy, “Happy birthday, Javi.”

He shared her look. “Thank you for making it amazing—made me almost forget I’m old now.”

She huffed in exasperation. “You turned forty, Javi. You’re not old. If it makes you feel any better, I’m happy to report you’ve still got a bangin’ bod and continue being a sex god.”

“You’re calling me a sex god again?” His eyebrow rose.

“I never stopped calling you a sex god, and let’s look at the facts:” She held up one finger. “Stamina of someone in their twenties.” The next digit went up. “The experience of a forty-year-old that’s spent a lot of time fucking.” Another finger rose. “Makes his partner come every time.” The next digit extended. “Actually knows how to use his mouth and fingers.” The final finger went up. “Has the biggest and prettiest dick known to man—face it, babe, you’re a bonafide sex god; I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a statue of you in some sex temple somewhere.”

His chest had puffed out a little from her praise, and what she said made him snort, Javier, smiling. “What is it with you and statues of me?”

She pushed his bangs off of his forehead. “Um, did you not hear the part where I said you have a bangin’ bod and the biggest and prettiest dick known to man? You’d make a sexy statue—hotter than Prince Eric’s, and that’s saying something.” Both of her hands came up to hold his face as she stared him in the eyes. “What you should get from this is I find you exceptionally attractive and want to have your babies, and I’ll still find you exceptionally attractive and want to have your babies next year, and the year after that and the year after that; you get the picture. Basically, I do not give a single fuck about how old you are because you are aging like the finest wine, sweetcheeks, and I am so unbelievably horny for you.”

From the way she was looking at him, he knew she was telling the truth, and it made him feel some relief. He’d been dreading this day, and he was starting to realize there was no reason to—he was older and wiser, engaged to marry the most amazing woman on the planet, in the process of starting his family, working a job he didn’t hate, and he was back home, where he belonged (even if some of the townspeople thought otherwise). He was happy, truly happy, and yeah, it wasn’t an easy journey, and it took him a while to get to this point, but he made it, and that was all that fucking mattered.

Mondays were the worst.

Mondays after a lovely vacation were the worst of the worst.

Honestly, it should be illegal having to go back to work on a Monday after being away. Unfortunately, it wasn’t, so here you were sitting at the nurse's station desk, a bit past ten in the morning, notating a chart, and nervously waiting for your first break that was in—you glanced at the watch on your wrist—five minutes.

"Still nervous?" Came the Texas twang of your coworker/best friend, Robyn, who pulled out the rolly chair beside you and sat down.

Her long, chestnut curls were pulled back into a ponytail, and she looked ready to model with how perfectly she’d done her makeup; firetruck-red lipstick was coating her full lips, her big blue eyes accentuated with an outline of black mascara and eyeliner, her cheeks rosy, and face blemish free without being caked in foundation and concealer—she could be on the cover of the American Journal of Nursing magazine with her being in her blue scrubs.

Your head turned her way, frowning. "Yes, because I know, in my bones, it's not gonna go well."

She gave you a reassuring smile and put her hand on your arm. "And that's why you're doin’ it on your fifteen-minute break. It gives you a time limit, and havin’ to get back to work is a great excuse to end things."

You weren't convinced. "I guess..."

"I'm sorry, girl, but this is somethin’ you have to do and it'll be better to just rip off the bandaid."

"Maybe I'd prefer to keep the bandaid on and continue living in my perfect little bubble with the love of my life."

"Because the bubble is goin’ to burst one way or another, and at least this way, you're in control."

"I really don't want to do this…" you said truthfully. It had you feeling a little sick.

"I know, girl." She patted your forearm. "I can't promise it'll go well, but just remember you've got Javi and me for support, and you know as well as I do that man will up and leave work without a word to come here for you."

"That's true. He, uh, doesn't know..."

The other woman's eyebrows dipped. "Why didn't you tell him?"

"It's Javi—he'd worry too much and wouldn't be able to work. Now that we're doing this whole baby thing and getting married soon, it's like his caveman instincts have turned up to the max, and he's in protection mode 24/7. So, he's not going to find out about what's going on until after it happens."

"If you think that's best." Her eyes went to her wristwatch. "Looks like it's time." She met your gaze. "Go do it in the on-call room so you'll have some privacy."

You took a deep breath, ignoring the fluttering nerves in your belly. "Okay," you said as you pushed back in your chair to get up. "If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, you better come to get me."

She smiled. "That was the plan."

"You're the best."

The closest on-call room wasn't anything more than a small windowless room with a twin-size bed and a desk with a lamp and telephone atop it. The overhead light was on, and you'd locked the door upon entering, taking a seat at the desk. Picking up the phone's receiver, you pressed it to your ear, your other hand punching in the string of numbers from muscle memory, and hardly any thought.

Ring.

"Hello?" the familiar voice answered.

This was it. "Hi, Mom, it's me."

"Oh, good, you got my message. I was expecting your call yesterday."

"Sorry, it was Javi's birthday, and we went out to dinner to celebrate."

Her voice went tight. "I see... Remind me again how old he turned?"

"Forty."

"Forty years old, and he doesn't own a house or have a career? When your father turned forty, he was already the chief of surgery and had invented a procedure, but I guess they're two different men from two different backgrounds."

Your jaw clenched. "I don't appreciate you belittling the man I love, who had a very successful career in the DEA and helped take down Pablo fucking Escobar and the Cali Cartel before he was forty—but please, go on about his ‘lack of career,’ and how he doesn’t measure up to Dad in your eyes; I’d be more than happy to end this call right now.”

The older woman sighed. “I’m just looking out for your best interests, but since it’s a sore subject, I won’t talk about him at all.”

The ‘best interests’ excuse made you roll your eyes so hard they were at risk of getting stuck in the back of your head.

"Fine—what's the exciting news you have?"

"Oh, yes," her tone shifted, hearing her excitement. "Your brother is having another baby, and it's a boy!" You fucking knew that was why she called, and you didn’t have it in you to be excited, not when the same news from you would have a vastly different reaction. "Your father and I are so excited to have another grandson," she continued. "I can't believe how blessed we are to have three grandchildren, a fourth on the way, and they’re all boys!"

"God forbid they had a girl," you mumbled.

"What was that?"

"I said, wow, that's great," you spoke normally. "Well, give them my congratulations, and if that was all you wanted to tell me, I'm going to get back to work—I'm on break."

Yes, you were chickening out on telling her about your engagement.

"That isn't the only exciting news!"

"Yay, there's more," you deadpanned.

“If your father was home, he could give you more information, but his hospital is going through some staffing changes, and he got you a job to be the director of nursing—you can finally move back home!"

Um, what?

He got you a job you never even asked for or wanted?

The audacity of them doing this behind your back in an attempt to lure you home had stunned you into silence, anger threading through your chest and tummy.

"Are you still there?" she asked.

"I don't want a new job," you said calmly.

"You don't know what you're saying, sweetie. This would make you the head of the nursing program at his hospital and is much better than whatever it is you’re currently doing. You’d make substantially more than what you are right now, and it brings you closer to us, your family—it’s about time you come home, anyway. You’ve been away long enough and haven’t been making the best decisions.”

Tears were burning in your eyes at the blatant disregard for your feelings.

"I'm not leaving Laredo."

She sighed again. "What does that backwater town have to offer you? That hospital you're working for can't compete with what your father’s hospital is willing to pay, and there isn’t anything there worth staying for or tying you down—thank god you've been smart and haven't done anything stupid like get pregnant."

She managed to insult Javi and the life you built without outright saying the words, and it pissed you off how fucking rude she was in regards to your future husband—she could say whatever she wanted about you and the way you were living, but you wouldn’t stand for such vitriol toward your fiancé.

"I'm getting married,” you blurted.

Her line went completely silent, and you thought she might’ve hung up until she said, “I’m sorry. I think I misheard you. What did you say?”

“Javi proposed—we’re getting married, and that isn’t the only exciting news; we’ve started trying for a baby.” Informing people that you were getting fucked raw and filled like a Boston cream donut on the regular made you wish the earth would completely swallow you up so you didn’t have to feel such embarrassment; it being socially acceptable to openly discuss your sex life when it had to do with procreation would never make any sense to you.

“I know Javier doesn’t meet your standards,” you continued, “however, he more than meets mine, and I wish you could see how incredible he is and how happy he makes me, but the only things you care about is the amount of money in his bank account and career choice; which, again, people all over are aware of who The Javier Peña is because of the work he did with the DEA. He was a hot commodity when he returned to the States, and agencies all over the country were trying to bag him.

“Just because he’s not in the same tax bracket as you,” you kept speaking, “and he can’t buy me a big mansion we don’t even need, doesn’t make him any less of a person. Honestly, he’s better than you—he’s better than you. He’s better than Dad, and he’s definitely better than that golden child you worship, who couldn’t even make it into his Ivy League school without you buying his way in. Javi got a full-ride scholarship to his dream university because of how talented he was at swimming,” you said proudly.

“My fiancé is an amazing man who treats me like a queen and will be the best father to our children. Now, let’s circle back to your question about what Laredo has to offer me—the answer is everything. Laredo has everything I could ever need or want. The man I’m marrying and the future father of my kids is here. I have a family here—a real family that loves me. I have friends and a great job here. This is the place where I’ll raise my children and grow old with my soulmate. This is my home and where I’ve always belonged. So, thank you, but no, thank you for such an amazing job offer I didn’t ask for. I’m not leaving Laredo—you’re just gonna have to get used to the fact that Javier and I are a package deal and that he’ll be your son-in-law one day and the father of your grandchildren. If you can’t stomach that, then don’t ever call me again because Javi means more to me than anyone else in the entire universe.”

Silence.

Many seconds passed before she spoke.

“You’re sure he’s the one…?” she asked slowly.

“Yes, one hundred percent.”

“You don’t care about how much money he has because he makes you… happy…?”

She made it sound like a foreign concept, and you huffed in amusement.

“I know, it’s crazy to fall in love with someone for them and not their money.”

“This is what I get for allowing you to watch those cartoon fairytale movies when you were a child. Your ideas of what’s important in life have been skewed by fictional nonsense, and you failed to notice at the end of those films, the girls become princesses—rich—when they meet their princes and finally get their—what was it?—happily… happily…” She was struggling.

“Their happily ever afters?” you said.

“Yes, that’s it! They only got their happily ever afters once they became princesses, and you should strive to want that kind of status or meet a man who will give it to you.”

“Weird take, but to me, they get their happily ever afters when they meet their one true loves, and the fancy titles are just bonuses.” You shrugged even though she couldn’t see you.

She let out a sigh. “You need to understand that real life isn’t like those whimsical cartoons. You might think you’re in love right now, but you haven’t even known this man for a year. How do you know if you will feel this way about him a year from now? Or two years? There’s no guarantee that your relationship will last, and you’re throwing away a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to advance your career and make a name for yourself because you’re infatuated and living in some dream world.”

“I am in love, and it’s the real thing. What you’re not understanding is my career is secondary to my happiness. I care more about being happy than making money, and I’ve made my choice that I’m going to marry Javi because he makes me happy—get it through your head that he isn’t going anywhere.”

“Very well, if that’s your decision, then so be it.”

“Thank you.”

“Can you answer a question about Javier?”

“Uh, depends on what you’re going to ask...”

“He helped take down Pablo Escobar and that other cartel, which wouldn’t have been small feats. I’m assuming a lot of opportunities would’ve opened up to him within his agency, and he was probably on track for promotions. Why did he quit when he was at the height of his career?”

You smiled. “Because he decided his career was secondary to his happiness, and he cared more about being happy than advancing in a job he’d grown to hate.”

“Oh.”

“You know, he only went to work for the Sheriff here, so I wasn’t the sole provider in our relationship—he makes decent money, too, and tries to pay more than his fair share. He took the job to be able to take care of me, and if I couldn’t work, we’d be more than okay on just his salary.”

“Really?” She didn’t attempt to hide her surprise.

“Yes—someone with Javi’s expertise is paid handsomely to consult. He’s gotten a ton of offers to do paid talks at universities and conferences. He’s actually kind of a big deal in that community.” It was lovely getting to brag about him.

“Why haven’t you told me this before?”

“Because from the moment you found out I was dating him, you were convinced he wasn’t good enough for me, and it seemed like nothing I could say would change your mind.”

“I guess I might have rushed to conclusions…”

“You did.”

“Well, congratulations, honey,” She sounded genuinely happy, not as jazzed as the imminent arrival of another grandson, but happy enough it had you taken aback. “This is exciting! I hadn’t realized things had gotten so serious between you two. Have you picked out a date for the wedding?”

To say you felt thrown off kilter from the complete one-eighty she just made on her views of your relationship would be putting it mildly; you thought there was a chance you were in the Twilight Zone with how bizarre this reaction was.

Did you actually convince her of Javi’s worthiness?

That didn’t seem right…

“Um, no?” you answered.

“I’ll call the wedding planner who helped plan your brother’s, and don’t worry about the cost, we’ll take care of it, along with the wedding itself—we’ll have to look at venues in your town that can hold at least, I think, one hundred and fifty guests, maybe? I’ll also have Jerry—” The family lawyer. “—get a prenup together—I’ll bring him with me.” Uh, what was happening? “Let me look at the calendar.” Pages flipping could be heard over the phone, and you knew she was going through her daily planner. “Your father and I have prior engagements over the next month and a half, but I could visit in February with the wedding planner and Jerry to get started on everything.”

The thought of her visiting had you feeling sick to your stomach, the anxiety hitting you like a bucket of cold water over your head.

“Woah, woah, hold on a second,” you said. “We’re not having a big wedding, so there’s no need for a wedding planner. We’re not doing a prenup, either, so Jerry doesn’t need to be bothered, and we want to get married sometime next month.”

“I won’t sour our conversation with legal talk, so I’ll discuss it with you later—you want to get married that soon?” There was a frown in her voice. "I told you we’re booked next month... We wouldn’t be able to make it…”

“We’re not doing much of a traditional wedding anyway, so you won’t miss much. We can send you a copy of the video—” Javi was planning on buying a camcorder to record your nuptials and other erotic things. “—and maybe in February we could visit you.” That was something you didn’t particularly want to do, but her change in attitude and desire to help seemed like she was extending an olive branch for all of the hurtful things she had said about your future husband.

“That would be fine. We’re dying to meet this man you’re in love with.”

Your eyes narrowed. “The one you didn’t approve of five minutes ago…?”

“You gave me a lot to think about in those five minutes, and I’m doing as you said and accepting that he’s going to be my son-in-law. Am I not allowed to change my opinion of someone?”

“Sure, you can change your opinion. You’re really okay with me marrying him?”

“Yes, sweetie.”

A knock sounded on the on-call room’s door, Robyn’s voice coming from the other side, “Hey, I need you out here.”

“I’m sorry, Mom, but my break’s over, and I need to get back. I’ll talk to you later.”

“No problem. Have a great day, and tell Javier hi from me.”

That will freak him out.

You said your goodbyes and hung up the phone, getting up to walk over and open the door.

Robyn was standing there. “How’d it go?” she asked.

“That’s the thing, Robyn, I think it went well, and I’m so fucking confused—I think my mom might even like Javi a little bit now.”

Shock appeared on her face. “Um, what…?”

“Makes zero sense, right?”

“Yeah… You need to call Javi?”

She was the best.

“Would you mind?”

“Nope! I’ll hold down the fort.”

“Thank you!”

This time, when you sat down to use the hospital-provided telephone, you dialed your fiancé’s desk phone from memory.

Ring.

“Peña,” he answered.

“Has hell frozen over?” you asked.

“Cielito?” He was clearly confused.

“Yes, it’s me—let’s focus. Has hell frozen over?”

“Uh, I don’t think so?”

“Are pigs flying?” You heard him roll back in his chair and the rustle of him looking through his office window’s blinds.

“I don’t see any pigs with wings, but that Sheriff’s deputy whose wife won’t let him have red meat so he can lower his cholesterol is in his car eating a burger with the same enthusiasm I have when I eat your pussy.”

“Guy is truly eating it like a man starved—respect. ¿Están volando las vacas (Are the cows flying)?”

“No veo a Daphne ni a Velma en el cielo (I don’t see Daphne or Velma in the sky).” He rolled back to his desk. “¿Qué pasa, mi amor (What’s going on, my love)?”

“I talked to my mom…”

“…are you okay?”

“Um, sure.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

He was starting to hang up the phone, and you quickly said, “Javi, no, no! Don’t leave!”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “It wouldn’t be a problem.”

“It’s really okay—I’m gonna see you at lunch.”

The plan was to eat the lunches you made together in his truck.

“Okay.” His tone went serious. “Tell me what happened.”

“I called her like she asked, and she confirmed my sister-in-law is with child and talk about the excitement over a fetus having male genitals.”

“Of course, they’re fucking excited it’s a boy, the misogynistic assholes,” he seethed.

“I am so unbelievably in love with you—I know you’d love having a baby girl and getting to dress her up in pretty dresses.”

“God, yeah.” You didn’t have to see his face to know he was smiling. “And giving her cute hairdos and I could paint her nails to match her dresses—wait, we’re getting distracted. Did the news upset you? I really feel like I should come down there...”

“I promise I’m fine, babe.”

“I don’t like that I’m not there for you in person…” He sighed. “Was that all your mother wanted to talk to you about?”

“This next part is really gonna piss you off, so please take a big breath for me, my love.”

You heard him inhale deeply.

“Tell me,” he ordered.

“My parents, or father specifically, offered me a job that a person would be insane to turn down to get me to move back home—I didn’t even contemplate for a second about taking it and proceeded to inform her about us getting married and starting our family, then went off about how amazing you are and that this is my home and I wouldn’t be leaving it. I made it very clear that you are the most important person to me, and if they couldn’t accept you as my husband, then I wanted nothing to do with them.”

“…If you want the job, we can move there,” he said carefully.

You smiled. “That’s sweet of you to offer, but I can’t fathom moving away from our family here, especially your dad. This is our home, and I’m happy with the life we have. So, I don’t care about some fancy schmancy job.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky promise.”

He let out a relieved sigh before he started speaking again, his words soaked in anger, “They hate me so fucking much they tried to give you an offer you couldn’t refuse, so you’d leave me? Are you fucking kidding me? I’m sorry, baby, but I can’t fucking stand these people you share blood with—they don’t even fucking deserve to be called your family with how they disrespect you and don’t give a flying fuck about your happiness.” He had to take another big breath to try to calm his rage. “I might sound like an asshole, but I don’t want them around our kids, and this isn’t me putting my foot down or saying that’s how it has to be; I’m saying that our children’s well-being is my first priority, and these assholes are nothing but poison,” he spat. “I’ll support you if you decide to cut ties with them—hell, I’d love it since it makes me so fucking angry how they’ve treated you and continue to treat you. We’ve got our family here, anyway; Pop and all our tías, tíos, and primos, so you don’t even need those fuckers.” His tone shifted to something softer, hearing in it how much he cared for you. “Cielito, mi amor, all I want is for you to be happy and to feel loved, and I will do everything in my power to make that happen—please, for me, when you decide what to do, you choose what makes you happiest; not what would make me happy and definitely don’t even think about their feelings because they’ve never done the same for you. I’ll stand by you no matter what.”

What he said had your eyes getting misty. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. More than anything.”

And you knew that was the truth.

“I didn’t tell you the whole story,” you said, “and this is where I get confused about the entire interaction.”

“What happened…?”

“So, I kinda bragged about how much of a hot shot you are in the drug enforcement community and that you make decent money, and I think I somehow made my mom like you? I know it sounds fake, but Javi, she wanted to hire us a wedding planner and pay for the whole event that she was going to invite a hundred and fifty people to…”

You left out the lawyer bit because you were going to nip that in the bud when she got around to talking to you about it.

“Uh, what…?”

“It was fucking weird, babe! She even told me to tell you hi when we were getting off the phone!”

“Me? Are you sure…?”

“Yeah! It makes zero fucking sense. Our conversation started with her basically telling me my life decisions were trash and that there’s nothing in Laredo worth staying for—she actually said she was happy I hadn’t accidentally gotten pregnant. Like, that’s so fucking rude. Then her tone had completely changed by the end of the call, and she was pro-you and pro-us getting married.”

“Interesting…” You could picture him sitting at his desk, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over his bottom lip while we pieced together the information you’d given him and analyzed it for any indication of more going on.

“Are your Detective Peña senses tingling?” you asked. “Do you think they’re up to something?”

“I’m not sure… But I could just be paranoid about people trying to fuck with our relationship.”

“Oh god, what if we are being paranoid and overthinking this entire thing? We might be looking a gift horse in the mouth, and my family really has warmed up to you.”

He scoffed, “Tal vez cuando las vacas vuelen (Maybe when cows fly),” he muttered. “It seems too good to be true,” he said. “But, there’s a chance hell did freeze over, and Daphne and Velma grew wings.” He sighed. “My hopes aren’t very high, though; at this point, all we can do is see what happens.” He suddenly sounded panicked, “Cariño, ¿los invitaste a nuestra boda (Honey, did you invite them to our wedding)? ¿Tendré que conocerlos en persona (Will I have to meet them in person)?”

Javier Peña had a cute face, a cute face that naturally looked pissed off when it was resting and showed everything he was feeling. There was no doubt that in the presence of your family, his glares would be murderous, and he wouldn’t be able to hide his anger—which, honestly, delighted you. But you hated the idea of them coming to the place you called home and was your haven away from them, so you were never going to invite them to visit; if you had to, you’d go to them.

“Cálmate, mi amor (Calm down, my love),” you said. “No te preocupes (Don’t worry). I didn’t invite them, and I don’t even want them coming here. I did have to say we might visit them in a couple of months to keep them happy—I’m also gonna send my parents that blender my mother wants but refuses to buy because the one they have still works for Christmas. Hopefully, all that will tide them over for a while so we can figure out if their new attitude is legit or not.”

“Good idea.”

“Well, I better get back to work. I’ll see you at lunch.”

“Yes, you will. If you need me to get your mind off all this shit, just let me know. It’d take us about the same amount of time to meet at home…”

His offer made you smile. “Javier, is this your way of saying you’d like a nooner?”

“Maybe… I’m on edge and need to calm my nerves, and the best ways to do that is either having a cigarette or fucking—I’m sure you can guess my preference, but it wouldn’t be a big deal if I bummed a smoke off someone.”

“You’re in need of a medicinal cream pie,” you said in understanding, nodding your head. “I am also on edge and could use a medicinal orgasm or two. I’ll see you at the apartment, handsome, and the suit stays on—I’m riding Detective Peña into the sunset.”

You could hear his smile when he spoke. “Is that so?”

“Yep—you’ve been staring at my tits a lot lately, and I thought you’d enjoy them bouncing in your face.”

His groan confirmed your suspicion. “Minimum of two orgasms, keep the suit on, and you’re riding me on the couch—anything I’m missing?”

“Yeah, you coming inside me so I can go back to work all nice and stuffed.”

“Marry me.”

“I am,” you giggled. “We need to figure out a date.”

“January 11. Under the big oak tree on Pop’s land at sunset—that’s when we should do it.”

“Why the eleventh?” you asked, curious about why that date specifically.

“You agreed to be my girlfriend on the eleventh. You agreed to be my fiancée on the eleventh. It only seems right that I vow to love you forever on the eleventh of the New Year and hope you agree to be my wife then—Cielito, mi amor, mi vida mi media naranja, mi todo, (Cielito, my love, my life, my soulmate, my everything), will you marry me in twenty-eight days on January 11?”

Tears brimmed your eyes. “Yes, Javi! Absolutely, yes—it’s perfect.”

“Not as perfect as you,” he smoothly replied.

“You’re a sap.”

“—and your perfect tits.”

“A horny sap,” you laughed.

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#pedro pascal #javier peña #Javier Peña/reader #javier peña x reader #javier peña x you #javier peña smut #wheresarizona writes #learning to live series

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sturn-wrld · 6 months

Text

🏮stop staring

pairing: chris x reader

summary: where chris loves readers ass.

genre: SMUT!!! if that makes you uncomfortable dni!

warnings: unprotected sex, ass slapping, nicknames

a/n: day 8 of smutmas. i actually finished this one early!! 😻😻 this actually has close to no storyline at all and the story line i was going to go for i kinda dropped so it's pretty much smut with no plot :)

masterlist

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chris loves your ass and he is not shy about it. he will constantly slap it no matter who is around. and when i say no matter who is around i mean. in the kitchen in front of his brothers, in target in front of strangers or even on youtube. he just loves the way it looks when smacks it just right and it jiggles.

it was 12:30 at night and you about ready to head off to bed after a long tiring day until you got a call from chris.

"hey baby"

"hey mamas, what are you doing right now?"

"nothing, i was about to head to bed"

"do you want to come over and sleep in my bed?"

"sure. i was probably going to ask later tonight when i couldn't sleep anyway so why not"

"alright love you ma, see you soon"

"love you too, see you soon" with that you hung up the phone and immediately knew why he actually wanted you over but have him the benefit of the doubt and believe he just wanted you to sleep in his bed with him.

as you reached his driveway, turning into it, you saw him waiting outside his front door for you. "what a gentleman, waiting outside" you said smiles at him almost giggling. "of course, anything for my beautiful lady" he said taking your hand to his mouth to kiss it. you both giggled before walking into the house to see matt and nick watching a movie on the couch.

"chris, do the two of you want to come join?" matt asked as you walked past "yeah sure. we aren't doing anything" as the two of you sat, his arms wrapped around you as you cuddled into his chest, all you noticed was his constant gaze pointed in your direction. "you may know what's happening in the movie better if you actually watch the movie and stop staring at me" i say trying to distract his look from me to the movie. he just looked at you deeper. "i'm getting a bit tired" he started towards the boys "we might head to bed now" he said in my direction with fierce eyes. "yeah we will" i said affirming his statement with suspicion that we may not only be sleeping in his room. with that we stood and started walking towards his room.

as you reached his bedroom he started making out with you and your suspicions were proved correct. "i missed you so much mamas" he said slowly kissing down your jawline to your neck leaving marks. "i missed you too" you said gasping at the pleasure he was giving you not sure how you missed him s much as you saw him two days ago. he suddenly lifted you from the wall to his bed where he started to strip the both of you, throwing your clothes in directions you were unaware of. you desperately started rubbing your legs together to cause some friction. as he stripped his own shirt and pants he held your legs still to stop any friction of your own happening. he then proceeded to take off your bra and suck on your left nipple while massaging the right. you started releasing breathy moans that just made him go crazy. he stopped working on your boobs and slowly made his way back on the bed.

"hands and knees now" he said demanding you of this action, power in his eyes. within seconds you were on your hands and knees, turned away from him, but staring back at him. he suddenly sent a pinging slap to your bare ass before running a finger through your folds. Thus caused an outlandish moan to leave your mouth that was definitely audible to his brothers just upstairs. as he placed his back to yours. he placed his hand over your mouth. "no more noise from you. don't want anyone hearing you." he whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. he then started kissing light feather like kisses down your spine until your ass which he slapped again. suddenly you felt the tip of his cock playing with your folds. making its way up and down driving you insane. "please chris" you said your head dipping from the unbearable pleasure. " please, what?" he said back, attitude clear in his voice.

"please fuck me already" with the tick of approval he slipped his massive cock into your sopping hole causing your legs to almost give out. he wrapped an arm around your stomach lowering his upper body to yours as he menacingly fucked you at a pace seemingly inhumane. as he continued he pulled his arm away from your upper body up to continue and started toying with your clit. you rapidly started feeling the all too well build up towards your release. "i'm almost there baby. don't stop" you said sporadically barely able to do anything but moan under his pleasurable touch. he suddenly slapped your ass again. "that's a good girl, cum for me mamas" with that you both released your liquids mixing as you rode out to your high.

as he slowly pulled out of you, you collapsed onto your stomach, the mixture that had been created oozing out of you as he licked it up from your now sensitive pussy, making you whine in response. he then laid next to you, caressing your ass.

all you thought was, 'what a chris move.'

taglist

@frozenvegitableoil @ermdontmindthisaccount @ilovemattsturn @its-jennarose

#strniolosworld #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo smut

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victoria-grimesss · 10 months

Text

tear you apart - part IV

Shiny new Masterlist

->Pairing: König x fem!reader

->Words: 4.7k

->Warning: MDNI!, fluff, König spilling his heart out to his favorite girl, roadhead, car sex, outdoor oral, face sitting, overstimulation, pretty much porn with plot at this point.

->A/N: A bit different that the other chapter but I wanted to do something a little sweeter.

Your dreams are luxurious and delicious these nights, a whirlwind of experiences ever since you transferred to the new base. You dream of luxuries far beyond your reach with a man who sure as hell should be out of your reach too. You dine on five star meals on the beach, sip champagne in a clawfoot tub overlooking waterfalls, have ravenous passionate love making sessions in silk sheets.

König has rewired your brain and embedded himself within you.

You awake in his bed again as has been the same routine for a few weeks now, you’ve moved a stash of your stuff to his room at his request of course. You don't see each other too often during the day so night and early mornings are the times where you catch up and enjoy eachothers company.

Spending a few spare moments to soak in the smell of the sheets you roll out of bed and notice a flower in a tall glass of water sitting beside a note.

Chicken scratch, yep written by König alright. You smile as you envision him scrawling it quickly before leaving for the day.

My love,

Clear your schedule this afternoon, I plan to take you somewhere very special.

-König, your one and only. (boyfriend) :)

Boyfriend.

Huh I guess that's really what the two of you are now. You both danced around the word for a while now. You suppose you were a couple in the grand view of it, slept in the same bed, ate dinner together, got ready for bed together, said goodmorning and goodnight to each other. You could get used to this. Off base dates are far and few too, sometimes you'll take walks around base, the views are amazing nearby and it makes you yearn for your own country-side cottage with a garden.

You ready yourself and go about your day, you’ve flowed into a nice routine as of late. Get up, sometimes with König, eat in the mess hall, workout, training, dinner with König sometimes, and usually not get a lot of sleep together because he's too busy having your eyes roll to the back of your head.

You can’t complain.

The mess hall is loud and crawling with activity this morning, you enjoy it more than you thought you would. The activity is a welcome distraction from homesickness. You eat in silence, sitting with a few others you’ve somewhat befriended. Bennet hasn't been around lately, thinking of if now you can’t remember the last time you did see him.

You clear your throat,

“Have any of you seen Bennet around?”

One of the other guys laughed.

“Yea I saw him alright. Saw him on his way out. Guy got so scared of the colonel he transferred back to his home base. Guess the two of them clashed over something. But if you ask me, I just don't think the guy was cut out for this line of work.”

“Yeah, that's weird. Strange.”

You continue eating, your question answered to your requirements.

König is intimidating, sure he’s nice to you but you can’t imagine being an outsider, being on his bad side, or god forbid being his enemy. The stories you’ve heard about the things he’s done on the battlefield could make anyone uneasy.

Breakfast finishes up and you head to the gym where you’re thankfully uninterrupted during your workout. Cleaning up you hit your next stop, the shooting range. It’s mostly empty, the weather is nice today so many people are using the outdoor range.

You take your pistol, silencer equipped and a long range sniper down to the last stall and prep your gear.

You use the sniper first and take deep breaths before firing.

The door opens and you assume it’s just someone else using the stalls until a voice makes you jump.

“Hold it higher liebling.”

Your hand grips your heart, putting the gun down you turn fully around, being met with König standing tall with his hands behind his back.

“König, ever heard not to sneak up on someone with a gun?” You lean against the counter.

“Am I mistaken or is that your forte in the field? I’m simply a superior observing my team members, wouldn't want you using the tools the wrong way right?”

He's so quick with his quips, you smile then turn around bringing the gun up leaning your cheek on the side as to see through the scope.

You feel his hands on your hips and he kicks your feet further apart, you look down at his feet that are standing on the outside of yours.

He brings his head down right next to your ear,

“Hold it back harshly into your shoulder, so the kickback won’t knock you down.”

“You’re making it hard to focus.”

“I would assume you would be able to focus even with distractions yea? But I suppose our time in bed has proven otherwise.”

You blush but regain your composure quickly until one of his hands stays on your hips and the other brushes your cheek to move your hair slightly.

You shoot once, then twice, hitting the target both times.

His voice has gotten even lower, whisper dancing the line of soundwaves.

“You read my note yea?”

“I did, plan to tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope.”

He kisses the shell of your ear then your cheek through his mask.

“I will see you later then, you’ll meet me in the lower garage at 1500 alright?”

“Oooh, meeting my big strong colonel in a dark garage, I certainly hope he doesn't take advantage of me.” You laugh and bat your lashes at him.

He squeezes your hip and scoffs playfully,

“Keep talking to me this way and we certainly won’t even make it to the car. Busy yourself and meet me there, don't be late.”

He releases his grasp and you miss it already.

“Shall I pack a bag?” You ask.

“Don't bother, I’ve got everything handled.

“Yes sir.”

He steps away from you, walking to the door ignoring all others in the range and you watch him until the door closes.

Taking a steadying breath you focus once more unto the range, feeling his phantom touch still.

—

You stop by your room before going to the garage, the lights flicker as you shut your door and you grow more and more excited for the evening to come.

Opting for a simple two piece set underneath plain jeans, boots, a simple black shirt.

The walk to the garage is straightforward, taking a dimly lit stairwell downwards and the garage smells of dust and you take it the electrical in this place could use an upgrade. Probably not high on the budget list.

There are rows of military vehicles and equipment, storage and the likes. An area sectioned off from the others hold what looks like personal vehicles, some nice and some looking decrepit.

A door slams in that area and you make your way over,

“König? That you?”

“Y/N, yes it is me! Just finishing up, go ahead and get in the doors unlocked.”

He drives a larger SUV, like the kind you see FBI agents driving, suiting you guess you never really pictured what car he drove but you can assume he drives whatever kind of car he can fit in so style types are probably very restricted.

You enter the car, the inside smelling like leather and the cologne he wears. It’s clean, damn near pristine the same as his room. The trunk closes and he gets in, his seat all the way back, he adjusts and looks over to you, his eyes bright and he's buzzing with excitement.

“Comfortable?” He smiles softly at you, he's wearing a black tactical long sleeve shirt, dark jeans, boots, and his usual hood of course. He looks good in black.

“Very. Can I ask where we're going yet?”

“Nope, just sit back and relax schatz.”

He starts the car and pulls out of the garage, informing the guard of his time away.

The tall gray walls of the base and large fences you know melt away into a wonderful countryside with creeks, tall trees, and rounding hills. König has one hand on the steering wheel and the other on your knee, his thumb rubbing small patterns.

“This is nice.” You breathe a sigh of relief, adjusting in your seat and König’s hand on your knee slips higher.

König looks relaxed, he deserves this. Always working so hard… he should definitely relax.

Your hand wanders from the center console to his arm, rubbing the tight muscles underneath his hoodie. He squeezes the inside of your thigh in thanks.

Trailing your hand down his arm to the outside of his thigh, holding your hand there and tipping your head to look over at him.

He laughs breathily, “What are you doing, liebling?” His eyes shift from the road, your hand, and your face.

“I just want to show you how much I appreciate you, König.” He shutters hearing his name from your lips and your hand moves to the now hardening bulge in his pants, he readjusts his hips to get more comfortable.

“Scheiße, you’re going to get us killed, sit back down I’m serious.”

He’s not serious, there is not even one percent of serious inflection in his tone, he speaks with need, his mouth already being filled with cotton at your movements.

You’ve leaned over the center console, face next to his ear as you unbutton his pants and palm him through his briefs, he’s solid where he sits and your mouth is already watering.

He shutters and his eyes flutter for a second,

“Eyes ahead baby, I can’t do anything if you don’t keep us steady ok?”

He does not answer, the blood isn't in his head anymore anyway, well not the one on his shoulders at least.

The trees race by the window as fast as your thoughts race in your head, you lean down and kiss him over the cloth, you feel his abdomen grow tense.

“I can stop if you really want-”

“Stop right now and I'll turn the car around.”

You grin, mumbling a yes sir before moving your hand under the band of his briefs and giving a kiss to the tip. He takes a steady, concentrated, painful breath in and the exhale is so shaky you feel him tremble.

You give small licks from top to bottom, he’s a big guy so there’s certainly more to love.

“Scheiße, ficken, Liebling ja”

You take him fully in your mouth and he's warm, and fits right in place. You hum and he moans in response, you don’t think you’ll ever tire of hearing him like that. You take what doesn't fit in your mouth within the grasp of your hand starting at a steady pace. The music playing in the car isn't even registering in your head, the heavy weight in your hand and mouth is all you focus on.

“Fuck my love, your mouth feels-feels spectacular, I do not deserve what you give me.”

He groans and bucks his hips up into your mouth, one hand on the wheel and the other gently being placed onto your neck, moving to the back of your head where he gently caresses your hair.

You’re working on him until he begins to shudder and you pull away, he tries to chase you with your hips but you lean back and kiss him on his cheek. His eyes are dark and he glances from you and the road.

“You’re going to kill me, Mein Liebling. He's panting, hand now gripping your hair tighter, you’re far from dry down under and touch his hand that's in your hair and move it down your front and under your pantline. You both moan when his fingers make contact with your wetness, he draws uncoordinated shapes into you, from your clit all the way to your entrance. He presses your entrance through your panties and it’s like he’s knocking on a door asking for permission to grant you the pleasure you oh so want, no need.

“König, please. I need you, I know you need me too.”

You whine, looking down at where his cock sits exposed, leaking heavily with every swipe of his fingers on you.

“My love. liebling.”

He grits through his teeth when you take his hand once more and more your panties to the side allowing him unrestricted access to where the flames burn the brightest.

“Scheiße, du gewinnst” He pulls the car over, sitting on the dirt shoulder of the road, heavy tree cover surrounding you and you hear his heavy breathing.

He puts the car in park, removing his seatbelt and since the seat was already set all the way back due to his size he leans back and pats his lap.

“Come take what you want.”

Eyes dark and hungry he watches you remove your pants and move over the center console onto his lap, his cock sitting right in front of you so it brushes against your stomach, you get a visual of just how deep he will slip into you.

You’re shaking with anticipation when you grasp him again, pumping a few times before raising yourself to tease the tip over your panties.

His eyes are focused on where you touch him, his hands on your hips gently, awaiting your move.

“Get on with it..”

His voice is dark and shadowy, his patience growing thin as you tease and tease him again, he’s a patient man but only for so long.

You play with him until you hear him growl deep in his chest, taking your panties in his grasp and you hear them rip.

“König! You seem to have an affinity for destroying each pair of panties I own.”

You try to quip back but your voice is so breathily and weak it holds no volume.

“I’d rather you not wear them at all, when we have a place of our own you won’t.”

You both moan when he pushes your hips down harshly, he sits fully inside you and you feel euphoric, one because he fills you so deliciously it has your mouth watering again and two he mentioned the two of you having a place of your own. Perhaps it’s him being so drunk on lust he says things he does not mean but your head is already slipping on all sane thoughts so you file that away for later.

His head tips back when he’s fully sheathed within you savoring the warmth and wetness you provide.

“König, fuck. You’re so big.” You whine on top of him and his eyes regain their focus on you, he’s already too sensitive from your mouth earlier you might actually kill him with how tightly you’re wrapped around him.

His grip on your hips is bruising as usual and you have no qualms with it, feeling his grip reminds you this is all real and you need to ground yourself as you begin to move up and down on him the noises amplified in the car.

“Yes, just like that darling, fuck! You’re so, so good, so tight.”

You start to move faster, spurred on by his praises your breathing grows faster as does his. Your hands try to gain purchase on the wheel behind you as you gain more speed, knocking the horn you breathily laugh and he grabs your hands and puts them on his shoulders. You grip your nails into him and he growls, now thrusting up into you he meets you halfway and you’re moaning his name so loudly now your throat hurts.

The windows are fogged and you’re sweaty, hair sticking to your forehead.

He moves one hand from your hip to play with your clit, moving smooth and quick circles into you and you bow inwards your hand slapping onto the cold window, leaving a handprint on the fog it slips down and you wrap both arms around his neck your legs growing shaky and weak from your approaching high.

“König, don’t stop don-don’t stop please please.” You’re whining, squirming, and writhing in his lap an utter and complete mess and he drinks you in. Your pleasure makes his throb and balls tighten as he continues rubbing your clit and thrusting up into you.

“I can feel you getting close, you want to cum yea?”

He’s panting and sounds just as destroyed as you are.

“Yes, I can’t hold on much longer. I want it so bad.” You whine and he stops altogether.

You cry, hitting his chest and trying to move but he holds your hip still.

“König plea-.”

“Beg.”

“What?”

“You want to cum? Beg.” He’s not joking, he’s all serious and you whine again before spewing the filthiest words that’s ever come from your mouth, begging and praising him like a God to be worshiped.

“Please König, god please I can’t, I need it. You’re so big, I need you to make me cum, fuck.”

“Good girl, always listening and doing what I say, I think you deserve a reward.”

Before you can say anything he begins his thrusting and rubbing ten-fold and you once again hold onto him like your life depends on it as you cum harder than ever before, your vision is spotty and he’s praising you through it. He follows you through the high seating you firmly on his lap, holding himself as deep and he can reach and flooding you thoroughly.

You both sit together for a good while, panting growing into soft breaths and you pull away from his chest and look at him, smile on your face.

“You think you can make it the rest of the way now? Are you satisfied?”

He cups both of your cheeks, kissing your nose through his mask.

“I think I'll be ok for a little bit. Maybe.”

You move off of him, both of your least favorite part is when he has to leave your warmth, but he’s never gone for long.

You put on your pants, no panties due to König but you would assume he packed you some more, although his previous words would assume he rather you never wear any.

“Ready?” He’s buckled his pants again and you can’t help but notice the sizable mess you made on his lap, the bottom of his shirt and top of his pants wet.

“König, made a bit of a mess on you, sorry.” You grow shy.

“I like it, it challenges me to make you cum harder the next time.”

Oh God.

He turns back onto the road and you continue your trip down the road, you roll your window down, still warm from your session and the cool mountain air fills your lungs and you rest a hand out of the window.

—

“Liebling, we’re here.”

“Huh.”

You shoot up in your seat, König standing on your right side, the passenger door open his hand gently on your shoulder as he shakes you awake.

“You passed out, I clearly tired you out.”

“Shut up, you’re full of yourself.”

He laughs, offering his hand to help you out, you take it and observe the scenery around you. It’s late afternoon now and you’re parked in the driveway of a small countryside home, it’s dark inside so you can assume you’re not staying with anyone. There’s a large field surrounding the home. Trees lining the meadow and plants that held out over the cold weather stand strong and the evening sun is even a bit warmer than it had been recently.

“König this is beautiful, is this your place?”

“Yea, just somewhere small when I need to get away. Don’t come here often, don’t have many reasons to visit. But I wanted to share this with you.”

He's unpacking the car, grabbing both of your bags.

“Do you need help?”

He laughs.

“No, I do not need help.”

The car is locked and you follow him up the path to the house, clovers dot the front path and a flower box on the window is untouched, dry soil packing the inside.

He opens the door and the ceilings are high, but it’s still cozy, lived in even if he says he doesnt come here often. Shoes are discarded at the door and you hang your jacket on the coat rack.

“This is beautiful König, didn't take you for an interior designer.”

He sets the bags down near the front door and you take in the room.

“I actually had my mother decorate it, I don’t have much of a sense for style like she does.”

“Do you see her often? Your mom.”

“Holidays, I try to call her often but when it’s busy it’s harder. She understands.”

“Well I’m sure she’s very proud to have such an accomplished son.”

He smiles, head tipping down, “I hope so.”

He claps his hands, ending the heartfelt moment.

“You look around, make yourself at home. I will start a fire and later we will go watch the sunset ok?”

“Very well.”

Your heart is giddy and light. He’s so kind and nice and handsome and sweet and a million other words to describe him. The house is more spacious inside than it appears outside, a large archway leads to the kitchen, one bedroom and a nice bathroom. Everything is high up, the shower head is fit just for him, cabinets stacked high, large bed which looks enticingly comfortable.

“König!” You call for him as you look around.

“Yes, mein Liebling.”

“How long are we staying here?”

“Just for the night my love, couldn't get much time away approved.”

“Oh, ok. Will we come back here eventually?”

“If you wish to do so then we will.”

You observe the view out of the window and König wraps his arms around your waist.

“Scared me.” You laugh, your hands tracing along his hands and up his arms.

“My apologies, shall we head outside to enjoy the view?” He kisses the top of your head and you melt once more.

“Lead the way.”

He brings a thick blanket with him outside and lays it down in the meadow, you lay with your head on his chest, his arm wrapped securely around you, watching the multitude of colors paint the sky as the sun descends another day, bringing a sweeping array of stars and cool breezes.

“Thank you König. You’ve been so kind to me and bringing me here means a lot.”

“All that is mine is yours, if you’d allow me I’d like to show my appreciation again.”

You shiver in his grasp and he holds you tighter.

“Yes.”

That's all he needed to hear before he lifts up his mask and takes your lips in his, he trails his lips down to your neck and leaves new bright bruises and snakes a hand up your shirt to play with your breasts, nipples hard from the combination of the cold and his touch.

“Pants off.” He tugs at your waistband and you comply, the cool air hitting your core.

His hand moves down and caresses your body thoroughly, missing no spot.

“Sit on my face Schatz.”

You pause and look at him.

“I don’t want to suffocate you.”

He actually laughs now, a full laugh.

“I will die a happy man.” You push him back, he’s gleeful and you laugh as well.

“No really darling, you will not ‘suffocate me’ get up here.” He uses heavy quotation marks around his words and you carefully make your way up to his face, knees placed on each side of his head.

He lifts his mask right to above the peak of his nose and he licks his lips eagerly, eyes only focused on where you sit above him.

“Take your shirt off too.” He strokes your thighs slowly leaving goosebumps in his path.

“What if someone sees?!”

“No one is coming out here trust me. I wouldn't have you expose yourself if somewhere were to see what’s all mine right?” He bites his lip as you discard you shirt and bra

Completely exposed outside as you sit above a man you care about fills you with a fire once more.

“It is like I have died and gone to heaven, you are breathtaking.” He kisses the inside of your thighs as he talks, leaving small bites.

He truly feels he's undeserving. The setting sun casts a glow on your back where it illuminates your outline in soft light, it casts on the dips and curves of your body, the swell of your breasts softly lit.

He grows hard again in his pants but wants right now to be all about you.

“Now sit darling and relax.” You sit slowly onto his awaiting mouth, hovering over him as he kisses you first and licks from entrance to your clit. He has to lift his head to reach you which frustrates him.

“I said sit.” He grips your waist and forces you to sit fully on his face, his mouth latching tightly onto your clit and you gasp and he moans, eyes rolling back into his head as he tastes you once more. He can taste the both of you from the car ride and he licks feverishly at you making your head spin. The stubble on his face scratching the inside of your thighs so nicely.

You brace your hand on his head trying to make him slow but he won't relent from his work. He’s a thorough man and once he starts a job he won’t stop until it's finished. He works on you and your chest starts rising faster and faster, he sucks licks and ravages like he’s never eaten before.

“König, don’t stop please.”

You moan and tip your head back, he groans as you arch backwards hands bracing on his midsection and you moan freely into the air. His mumbled words vibrate your core and it makes you reach your peak that much quicker.

König doesn't stop, not after you cum and he won’t slow down, his face is soaked and his pupils dilated.

“König it’s too much, please.”

You try to move your hips away and he growls the hands on your waist gets tighter and you’re able to lift just a bit off his lips for reprieve, he whines.

“Please darling, give me another ok? Just a few more.”

You can’t say no to him, he’s licking his lips again, your fluid soaking his face and nose, it glistens in the sunset glow and you can’t say no to him. So you lower yourself again, he smiles as his mouth meets you halfway.

“Fuck, König.” It isn’t long before you cum on his mouth another two times, he’s quick to draw it out of you and he knows what buttons to push and ways to move to make you unravel.

By the end he’s kissing the inside of your thighs again and you pant down at him mind turned to sand by his actions.

“You look beautiful like this, we’ll have to do this more often.” His grip is light and his thumb makes patterns on your exposed skin and you shiver from the cold now, the sun fully set and the stars in full swing.

“Here, let's get you inside, warm up yea?” He gives you his shirt to put on and carries, much to your protest, you back inside where you both shower and sit on the couch in front of the fire.

His arms are wrapped around you and your eyelids grow heavy as you rest on him.

“König.”

“Yes schatz?”

“Did you mean it earlier when you said we’d have a place of our own?”

He smiles, you can’t see it but he hums at the thought. The two of you retire from the force and he can come home to your awaiting gaze and warm touch.

“I would love it, more than anything. You complete me, relax me and ignite fire within me all the same. To live by your side would be eternal bliss.”

“I would love that too.”

You smile and cozy yourself closer to him, your eyes grow heavy and you feel content giving yourself to sleep in his arms.

665 notes · View notes

espinosaurusrexex · 5 months

Text

Acid Fog

Wolds Collide Collection

BuckyBarnes x Female!Reader apocalypse au

summary: You take the chance to bond with a new friend when the acid fog rolls in, inevitably trapping you with Bucky for several hours. Bucky has to learn the hard way, that he won't get rid of you that easily.

a/n: I'm not dead. I just have so much to do. But you best believe, once I finally finished my papers, I will work on all the stories that are already outlined in my drafts 💚 please bear with me until then...

not prooread - will do so soon

word count: 2.6k

warnings: grumpy/sunshine, mentions of death, dystopia, deadly fog, reader is lonely, Bucky is lonely - they're gonna be lonely together, worried CatDad!Bucky, strangers to friends (for now)

collection playlist | main masterlist | collection masterlist

May 13th 2039

Hey, Book.

I’ve decided that Bucky needs a friend, so I’m going to visit him today.

Finding the handsome not-so-anymore stranger was a challenge. But you loved challenges. It mixed up the day, made things less boring, and was a nice way to spend your time.

You had planned things perfectly. You had enough time until the next acid fog would roll through, grabbed one of the canned soups that were rarely found anymore - but you’d gladly sacrifice them for a new friend, and you had a backpack ready with some essentials in case you wouldn’t make it home in time.

You first headed in the direction Bucky took off to the other day after falling into your trap. There wasn’t much to “detour around” where you lived and chances of him being fairly close - considering being too far from shelter was a certain death sentence - gave you confidence with that approach.

You walked for about two hours until the tree line faded into blotchy scatters of green. There was a house - or rather ruins of one - sitting by the edge of the forest. You frowned. Bucky wasn’t stupid. At least he didn’t seem that way. He would never hide above ground. Every decent survivor that had lived up to this point knew ‘low was the go’. The chances of being killed were cut to 20% when you lived secluded and underground - the beach was good too apparently, but you were too far to see for yourself.

Your eyes swayed to the ground. You had a feeling Bucky was here, you just needed to find out where exactly. So you approached the ruins and stepped through what was left of the doorway. Dust and dirt covered the surfaces, ripped cushioned sofas, and scratched hardwood floors. There wasn’t much left to use here. The place was looted and brittle with holes in the ceilings and missing steps. You wondered how you ever recognized it as a house in the first place - because, really, this was anything but. The bones barely held up the remains and made it seem like an oversized version of a carport.

It wasn’t long until you had scouted the place and reached the other end of it. Now you were standing on the porch and looking out onto a wild yard that reached into the forest again. You walked down and towards it, searching the area and still feeling as though Bucky was close. He couldn’t have lived any further - it would have been crazy.

The leaves rustled beneath your feet as you skipped vines and roots peaking from beneath. Your eyes swept the area until they landed on an odd-looking lot of ground. As if the branches were forcefully pulled to cover up a buried something, the vines stretched over a green-grayish ledge.

Immediately you headed for it. This has got to be it, you thought until you reached an opening into the ground that revealed a heavy-looking bunker door.

Heck yeah. You knew he wasn’t that stupid - even though he did fall into your trap...

As soon as you opened it and entered, it felt as though you had stepped several decades back. The whole interior seemed to be dipped in sepia. Old furniture crammed into odd places and neatly kept surfaces without dust made it look like an old photograph.

You walked further, let your hand wander over the spines of the books aligned atop a lonely shelf on the wall. They were Cyril, you guessed, as you watched the golden letters shine when you passed them. Beneath the books and next to a booger green armchair was a record player, aligned with old records of people with excessively gelled hairstyles and tailored suits - ancient.

But Bucky was nowhere to be found.

A heavy sigh escaped you as your backpack landed on the ground and you went about scouting the bunker some more. The space wasn’t too big, and Bucky seemed to have accumulated a bunch of treasures there for some time now, so you had plenty of things to discover. Eventually, though, you just fell back into the ugly armchair and tried to start up the record player.

Bucky’s music wasn’t particularly your go-to, but you wouldn’t complain in a world where music was as rare as a working outlet. After a while, you could even understand why Bucky resided here. It was kind of comforting - homey. Something not many people could call their own in this world.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You shot up, knocking over a couple books and earning a dark glare from the man in the doorway - Bucky.

You hadn’t even heard him come in. “I... I just wanted to see you,” you explained with an excited smile on your face. "I brought soup!" Your hands pointed towards your backpack.

“You- you broke in!” His boots stomped over to you just as you turned to pick up the pile of paperbacks.

“Well, it’s not so much breaking in when we’re friends.”

“We’re not friends.” Bucky reached forward and snatched the items from your grasp. He was slightly sweaty, grime covering his forehead, and settled in the harsh frown lines you could only see because he was so close.

“Yes, we are! You fall into my trap, you are my friend.” You ticked off the points with your fingers just as Bucky threw his hands in the air.

“You can’t just make up these ridiculous rules.”

“Or can I?”

“No. We can’t be friends. I don’t even know your name.”

He did have a point there. For a moment you watched as he neatly stacked the Russian books back in their place and then told him your name.

“What?” He grumbled.

And you just reiterated the words that you hadn’t said in forever.

He turned back to you with a poker face. “I don’t like it,” Bucky said so monotonely, it almost seemed like he wanted to tease you.

“Excuse me?” You weren’t offended, it was hard to make friends nowadays - there was nothing unusual about a person being hesitant at first.

“It doesn’t fit you. You should be called trouble.“ He still had that dead look on his face and you were starting to think he just didn't know anything else. You wouldn't blame him - seriously.

“See! We are friends you know me!” You chuckled but Bucky just shook his head.

“I don’t know you,” he whispered with slumped shoulders as he lowered his bag close to yours. Then he took off his hat and ran a hand through his shoulder-long hair.

Man, he was kind of cute. But that was probably just the loneliness talking, so you shook out of it.

You opened your arms and sunk back into the chair. “Well lucky for you we have a bunch of time to get to know each other now.”

And Bucky’s eyes widened. “What why?”

“The acid fog is rolling in early this evening.” You looked past him and out the entrance, where a deep gray sky covered most of the view. “I thought you knew... and that’s why you’re so, well, tense.”

“What, no I was just outside it’s-” The brunette turned and you could see his shoulders stiffen when he realized you were right. “Shit.” It was a low mumble that was followed by another nervous swipe through his hair.

For a man who seemed to be cool, calm, and collected so far, his feet were doing an awful lot of pacing right now.

“Are you okay?” You were careful to ask. Something was wrong and you didn’t want to risk him exploding. You didn’t know how he would react and a small sadness washed over your chest when you realized that maybe you weren’t as good of friends as you wanted to be.

“Shut up.” Yup, definitely not the talking type then.

“Can I help you or is ther-“ You were interrupted by a soft meow sounding over the rumbling of the clouds.

“Fuck, finally.” Bucky exhaled and knelt down, just to reveal a white fluffy cat tangling in his touch.

“Uh...There's a cat in your bunker,” you pointed out and Bucky picked his stiffness back up ever so slightly.

“Her name is Alpine. Touch her and you’re dead.”

So this was what had this big, broody man’s panties in a twist. He was worried for his pet. That was super adorable, you had to admit. And it charmed you just that much more when you saw the way he cuddled her into his chest before setting her back on the ground.

“I- Oh.”

As soon as he’d said it, Alpine had sauntered her way to you and rubbed her fluffy white face on your shin. You were just frozen in place - unsure what to do. You wanted to pet her so badly, but who knew what Bucky would do if you so much as moved now.

“The cat has chosen. Don’t blame me.” You threw your hands in the air when Alpine started to purr and jumped only our lab. Now that she was so close to your face, you noticed that one of her eyes was missing, a darker patch of fur replacing the spot where it should have been, but it just made her that much more charming.

Bucky glared at you for a good second and then moved to close the bunker in order to keep the deadly air out. And you took the opportunity to finally pet his cat.

It had only been 20 minutes and Bucky was already regretting his decision not to send you out into the fog.

First, you had broken into his home. Then you had declared you as friends, to which - for the record - he never agreed to. And then you had stolen Alpine’s attention. That was just the cherry on top of your pile of audacity.

And though he had been told that he wasn’t a pleasant contemporary, he wouldn’t send people straight to their deaths like that. He was a grump, but he wasn’t cruel. So he settled on quietly sitting in a corner and hoping that you’d eventually grow tired of snooping through his belongings.

But he still held a grudge. Because he hadn’t planned to spend so much time with anyone, really - except for Alpine, of course - and now he was stuck with you for at least three hours. You had basically forced yourself into his life with that agitating sunshine demeanor of yours and the annoying optimism in every single thing you did.

You had to be broken, somehow. Nobody could be this happy at the end of the world. Because that’s what this was. The end. The time you had to wait out until you escaped the hell this world had become just to spend an eternity in the actual one.

Yeah, Bucky believed in heaven and hell. Somebody had to be responsible for idiots like Hydra and he was sure there was an extra special lava pit reserved just for the god complex fogged imbeciles that were responsible for it all going to shit once and for all.

Bucky huffed at your occasional ‘woahs’ and ‘oohs’ and shrugged off his jacket while you went through more of his things. There was nothing he could do anyway. Tying you up and gagging you until it was over would be incredibly awkward for both of you. So, as long as you didn’t break anything or talk to him, he deemed you safe.

“Woahhh, that is so cool! Where’d you get that?” You suddenly said, and when he turned, Bucky saw you pointing at his metal arm.

He looked down, turned it in the yellow gleam of the bunker lamp, and then focused on your face again. People had seen a lot these days, though none of them ever asked him about it. They either stayed silent or avoided him altogether - the latter of which he preferred. He didn't like talking about it. It wasn’t anything he was proud of for that matter.

“Nonya,” he grumbled and sat back in the chair he chose to reside in for the rest of the day.

“What’s Nonya?” Your head cocked to the side and Bucky couldn’t help but crack a small smirk.

“Non ya business.”

And finally, you shut up. He exhaled, closed his eyes, and smiled complacently. However the silence didn’t last long.

“Okay that was a good one but really, where did you get that arm - it’s amazing.”

“It’s not amazing and I don’t want to talk about it, okay? Now do me a favor and shut up before I set you outside”

“You wouldn’t dare. After all, I was the one that helped you out of that trap.”

Buck had already established that he wouldn’t. But the thought seemed ever so intriguing right this second.

“That you built,” he deadpanned. “I’m done talking to you. Just be quiet for the next hour, so we both have a chance at surviving this thing.” Before I murder you or myself. That last part only echoed in his mind before he grabbed a book and hoped deeply that you’d comply.

You huffed and slumped in the chair next to him. Bucky only dared to glance at you once. Then he began reading, enjoying the silence you finally granted him.

You watched Bucky read his book. Fascinated by the shapes on the page that didn't look like letters to you, you leaned over to him. Bucky was skimming the pages swiftly, turning pages before you could even look at all the lines and then starting all over again.

When you leaned in a little too closely, he scooted back and hid the page from you with a glare. So, you stood up and sauntered over to the shelf again, tracing the printed covers with your finger.

“They’re all in Russian,” you pointed out after you had grazed the last spine. Most of the books were bound in brown, grey, or red.

“So?” He just shrugged, not even bothering to look at you.

“Do you know Russian?”

“The guy that lived here first was Russian.” He shut the book finally, tracing the cover with his own fingers. “So, I taught myself.”

“You know, I can get you some normal books. I can’t imagine there’s anything interesting in there.” You stared at the Russian flag on most of the books. They looked like government-issued prints. Nothing like a fun novel or romance book.

“I don’t mind them, really...” Bucky set the book down and stood next to you. Then he scratched his stubble with his flesh hand. “Though, they all have a communistic touch.”

“See!” You pointed at him. “What do you like to read? I’ve got it all. Romance, fantasy, sci-fi.”

“No sci-fi please.” Bucky rolled his eyes and you could only imagine why. You’d had enough of it in the real world, so the sci-fi book you had once acquired during one of your town walks hat sat in the corner of your little home untouched.

“So, you’re not opposed to romance?” Your eyebrows raised suggestively only for Bucky to glare at you again.

Bucky huffed and sat back down. “Forget it. I'll read my Russian books.”

You chuckled and threw your hands up in defense. “Okay, okay. Fantasy it is.” And then you settled in next to him staring at the ceiling with a small smile and a giddy feeling in your chest.

“See..,” you whispered, “I knew we would get along eventually.”

**Bonus

“Buckstar… Starbucks… Buck-”

“What are you doing?”

“I think it's only fair that if you give me a nickname, I can have one for you, too. How does Bucky-Buck sound?”

“No”

“Buckaroo.”

“Do I need to throw you out? Cause I will.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

“I thought I already had.”

"Good point… get out.”

“I can’t, the Fogg’s about to come!”

“Well, then I suggest you hurry your ass up, so it can’t kill you before I do.”

„I know you might not try to be, but you are very funny.“

*huffs in frustration*

Hey, Book,

Bucky's not that lonely anymore.

more…

Wanna be added to the taglist?

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theoddest1 · 4 months

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Hazbin Hotel episode 5 is a rushed mess.

May just make this a continual thing where I review the episodes from here on out.

-Right off the bat, the pacing for this episode is probably the worst out of all other episodes so far. Things just begin abruptly (Lucifer's first song with Al for instance), no build up, 5 months have passed in only 5 episodes of barely any progress or focus on Charlie as a character, a random character that didn't need to be introduced but was anyway ruined the flow further, and this stupid ass rivalry all on the basis of who's the "better dad" is legit the most random conflict of any conflict so far. That will get a point all on its own along with some of the other things mentioned. The pacing left no real breathing room aside from 2 moments: Al's rise to power and Husk n Al's convo. I wanna say the second song would be a 3rd but it just resolves an issue that was present for seemingly years and pulled a "Stolas" with having a song or sob story as an excuse for the lack of effort to reach out and be a better dad. Lazy writing and pacing overall.

-5 months....5 months have passed with barely anything revolving around helping sinners or trust built around the main cast SHOWN ON SCREEN. We are told important information opposed to witnessing the progress itself. This is not only lazy but extremely jarring cause it feels as though episodes were skipped and bonds feel unearned. They get easily resolved in what feels like seconds, and we're just supposed to....deal with it. Angel and Husk barely interact throughout this episode, which, after the crazy ride they had, with the knowledge of a SEVERAL MONTHS passing by as well, you'd think Angel would be shown to be more chatty with him....which he doesn't. Nothing crazy, just small bits of them interacting and enjoying each other's company. Nah. We get that next episode, and even THAT'S lacking. I'll tackle that in a separate post. But yeah, 5 months, and we have yet to see the other guests' views and how it has changed for the better or the process of them realizing WHY they would go for redemption. How that has affected them. Nothing of note has come about from any of these. No other sinners have joined. No other demons seem interested in Charlie's Hotel. Nothing. We are told things have been done, yet it feels like we are still at the starting line, or well, a foot away from it and miles away from the finish.

- Lucifer is a joke. I don't mind me a goofy threat, it adds a charm to them but also shows that they take so little seriously due to their immense power....not Lucifer. No, that guy just....is a joke. Dude is in his mansion making fucking toy ducks for some reason and just has depression (show said it outright, not even depression is spared from "tell don't show")

He does literally nothing, doesn't seem to WANT to do anything, and no one respects the guy. Nearly all in the Hotel lack fear, intimidation, or admiration for the guy (Pentious is the only one who seems to exhibit admiration of some kind). The closest we got is being uncomfortable. That's it. Then there's his scuffle with Alastor. Tell me why he feels the need to argue with this sucka again? Cause last I checked, Alastor is a mere overlord, and Lucifer is The Devil. Wtf is this randomass rivalry that just...S T A R T S? Why does Lucifer get intimidated or moved by Al? It makes no sense. Lucifer has been alive far longer than humanity itself, but nah this random fuck who looks like he robbed a blood bank got him weeping insecurities? I'm supposed to take this sad excuse of a character seriously? How many of these carbon copy characters will Viv make until I finally end my suffering???

-Wtf is Alastor's deal? Why is he so pressed and annoyed? One moment he is as cool and collected as a cucumber and showing only SLIGHT annoyance (Vox and His song), then he goes to meetings and speaks with people far older, far more experienced, and/or far stronger than he show no interest and he gets pissy? How insecure is he that people not caring where he's gone or thinking his ideas are wack is what leads to his eye twitching and him throwing a random ass cuss. Seriously, THAT'S what got him to swear? That his idea for the hotel's name is stupid? BFFR! You can not be serious right now, THAT'S what gets him going? You'd think with how witty and chill he was in the pilot, he would find a quick and a effective smart-ass comeback, not essentially bitch at The Devil. This makes Alastor look like a thin-skinned wannabe, too cause these minor ass comebacks are why he has lost his edge along with some randomass song number?? And at the end of the day, Al just couldn't be damned anymore to even care by the end of the episode, he doesn't speak with Lucifer or give any stank looks, doesn't speak with Charlie, does NOTHING pertaining to the issues prior, nah, he just stands there and watches after telling Mimzy to go away. Some say he did this to simply piss Lucifer off, but that doesn't make sense (not saying it ain't true, just saying if it is, it's nonsensical). First off, if that were the case, why was he annoyed even BEFORE seeing the guy?

If he only wanted to get a rise, why is HE getting angry? Trolls usually don't care enough to be this pissed. Second, wtf would he even gain from doing this? What to help push Lucifer to be a better father to Charlie, request by Lilith to Al so that Lucifer can get his act together?? If so, that's the LAZIEST shit I have ever heard. Lucifer is such a joke, he needed a SINNER to get him back on track....

Regardless, this whole father shit by Al comes out of nowhere and ruins the goddamn flow of the episode. Prior to it all, Al has shown NO interest in anyone and has done jack shit. Wtf does he even do? He's done ONE thing so far and that was help for the commercial. Alastor has shown to be completely useless as of now.

-Charlie, why is she treated as tho she isn't a grown ass woman? She's babied to hell and back and despite being the daughter of Lucifer, hasn't shown any of her abilities to help the hotel. So Lucifer can summon shit but not her? Is she that useless? Also, gotta love how she never asks her dad about the Valentino situation to help Angel out. Man...what a great ass friend. She also doesn't find it weird that Al is just suddenly...babying her? She has zero awareness of everything, I guess, which is getting annoying now. You're over 200 years of age (went to high school in the 1800s according to what her comic was about, but guess that's retconned based on what happens in the following episode).

So she doesn't use her abilities to tidy up the place, she doesn't act her damn age, she doesn't do anything to help her sexually assaulted friend. What a damn joke, just like her dad.

-Mimzy shouldn't have been in an episode about Lucifer. Plain and simple. Her character should have been introduced in one of the earlier episodes. Not during fucking this. And we got a repeat of the pilot with Alastor's backstory retold. So they're down to retell his rise to power but not to make at least a proper recap of the events that happened prior? Key word....PROPER.

-Husk caring about Mimzy bringing trouble is actually fucking stupid. Because of the lack of proper build up to him now finding more reason to like the Hotel, it feels forced that he would be worried about what danger Mimzy brought. And on top of that, yeah...ALASTOR IS RIGHT THERE. You know who else is there? LUCIFER. I get it, Lucifer stood by and watched as the Hotel was being swatted, but he also sang a song about providing what Charlie asked for, meaning if she had asked her dad, he woukd be down to help, so WHY TF IS HE WORRIED???? Also , is Charlie just INCAPABLE of fighting for herself?? "She doesn'twanna hurt sinners-" so she had no defensive abilities??? What???? Also, that's a damn lie, she fought Katie Killjoy on live Tv. Are no other damn people capable of protecting the Hotel??? Why did Al need to step in for that? They were just LOAN SHARKS.

Anyway, the scene where Husk is probing Alastor about Mimzy and treating him as a pet is decently paced and the tone was pretty neat, sucks that this feels like their way of showing that Husk is also under a leash like Angel rather than him being treated as a joke, which btw...horrid way to compare the two. Wanna know why? One is subjected to an onslaught of sexual assault whether he was pushing Val's buttons or not, and forced to be assaulted by various men around him, passed around like a thing. The other is Husk, who legit disrespected Alastor and had to push at him to get such humiliation and terror, and guess what....Al still ended up pushing Mimzy away after she did end up bringing trouble, so he did essentially listen to Husk in his own distant way. This is the ONLY TIME we see Al be downright mean to Husk and probably the only time. Angel has been subjected to nothing but horrid assault after assault no matter the situation. So I better not see anyone say, "SEE LOOK, THEY'RE BOTH ABUSED" stfu. Nothing about their situations are even remotely similar. Just cause the chains are the same doesn't mean the users are. EDIT: Ima say this before people act like I excuse this. No, I am not excusing Alastor's actions. I am pointing out what happened on screen. Husk mocked Alastor, Alastor retaliated out of anger(much like how Angel retaliated at Husk in ep 4 after Husk kept arguing and mocking him) by pulling out the chains to shut him up. He didn't even hit Husk. Again, I'm not excusing it, just pointing out how vastly different Husk and Angel's situations are and how one overlord reacts compared to the other....who is a straight-up rapist.

-Both the songs are mid/ok but pulled down by the awful storytelling....shame. I at first was not fond of Lucifer's voice.....it's ok now, I guess. Idk. I'm still not really feeling it, though.

Episode sucked ass

Pacing was all over the place

ALASTOR AND LUCIFER ARE PISS BABIES

#hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin critical #hazbin critique #Hazbin Hotel episode 5 #vivziepop critical #vivziepop criticism

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ofdemonsandangels · 2 months

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A Masterlist of My Favorite GriffGuts fics Part 2

Well hello again! We're coming up on two years since my last GriffGuts fic rec masterlist and so many amazing fics have come out since then! I'm really happy that the original list got so much love, I really can't wait to share more of my favorites with you all, both new or looked over from before <3

One-Shots

White Hawk Down by bishounenjump

Summary:

Sometimes Guts forgets that Griffith is just a man. A man with a body.

My comments:

A missing scene from canon that we all wish could have happened

Snowmelt by bthump

Summary:

Once again, Griffith acts impulsively when it comes to Guts. AU where Griffith doesn't find out that Guts left the Hawks until after he's gone.

My comments:

The way I was waiting for two whole years for another bthump fic after Refraction lmao. This fic is one of those fics that you pull up to cope with after you remember what happened in canon.

What would happen if the duel in the snow never happened but Griffith still chased after Guts to bring him back? Find out in 10.2k words of peak writing. In bthump we trust (￣^￣)ゞ

Late Night Reverie by bishounenjump

Summary:

"He won’t hesitate to admit that he loves being king. No blustering nobleman can take that from him.

And yet, on nights like this, when he can drink in the broad expanse of his commander — his dark brow and gentle gaze and absurdly strong physique — he knows that some dreams do occasionally obscure others."

My comments:

A very heartwarming glimpse into a future that Guts and Griffith could've had. I feel all warm inside whenever I reread this fic

we're not in love, we share no stories by Alyss_Baskerville

Summary:

Though the gash on Guts’ shoulder heals, his eyes now skip right past Griffith.

My comments:

Whereas the previous fic rec was a sweet look into a future that never was, this fic is a painful one. Holy hell did I feel like someone had carved my heart out of my chest when I had finished the final line. It reminds me a lot of the film, Atonement, so if you've seen the film, you can take a lot more away from this fic.

In the Absence of Light by Ghidorahs_Child

Summary:

Schierke aches for him, for the happiness he was denied, for the love he has lost.

My comments:

Guts and Schierke share their own Corridor of Dreams moments and it's just as bittersweet as you think it is

A Dreamless Sleep by Queenbananya

Summary:

“I’ve killed children for you,” Guts said, lying next to Griffith on a patch of grass. He peered up at the stars and remembered the kid’s face, the hand that reached out to him helplessly as the last trace of life faded from his eyes.

Or, Guts seeks comfort from Griffith, months after he's killed Adonis.

My comments:

Griffith comforting Guts as he deals with the trauma of killing Adonis is something we all desperately wanted at some point

That Dawn in the Snow by Nefastum

Summary:

He wondered now if Griffith even remembered there were others around him, or if he had completely shut them out. Casca and Judeau were staring in uncertainty, and not far back up the road it was easy to see Rickert, Corkus, and Pippin in earshot of most of their conversation. Griffith didn’t falter, though. It was like all he could see was Guts, and perhaps they’d have to find an excuse for his vulnerability later for the others. Guts could sympathize, though. The feeling was mutual.

My comments:

You can never go wrong with a duel in the snow au, and this fic is no different. The characterization of Griffith here is really great too and probably one of my favorite takes of him for this scene in particular

This Fleeting Dream by Queenbananya

Summary:

"To me... they are not friends. A friend is someone that is my equal."

Perhaps it was the way his thoughts had strayed in that direction, or simply how attuned he was to the movements of his soldiers. His eyes could always find him. Guts stood there, listening. And in his eyes, there was heartbreak.

Or, Griffith catches Guts listening in his famous fountain conversation with Charlotte and follows after him. Essentially, an exploration of his character and feelings for Guts.

My comments:

A very interesting take on a "Griffith clearing everything up with Guts after he finds out he overheard his dream speech at the fountain" au. Equal parts fluff and equal parts angst

Forever Facade by TheriOlis

Summary:

Slan has come to see what manner of flower grows atop the bones buried beneath Griffith's garden.

My comments:

The GriffGuts in this fic is mild but as the resident Slan thirster, I need you all to read this because it's really fucking good. NeoGriff being egged on by Slan for nearly 2k words? Yes, YEs, YES

Recoil and Grace by aloveleyburn

Summary:

Their fingers wind together in the darkness. Outside there is that ever-present chirping of birds and insects – the music of those dark hours, calming as cool water. Outside some car alarm goes off in the empty streets, and on the bedside table, clock reads 2:47am.

My comments:

There are so many words that I could use to describe this fic, but I think I'll just settle on 'quintessential'. I can't remember the last time I was so enthralled by a fic, so glued to my screen and absorbing every single word in front of me. The way that Ariel blends the two storylines into one in such a flawless manner reminds me of a weaver stitching together two scenes in a tapestry. Each thread is connected in a way that matters.

If there's one fic you walk away with from this list, I hope that this is the fic.

Property by starry_dynamo

Summary:

“I’ve wanted you since the moment we met, and if the reason you never returned my advances was that you felt tainted by that scum from your past, I will carve him from your memory. You are not his. You belong to me, and I want your body to never forget.”

Griffith learns why Guts has a problem with intimacy. Guts learns he has another purpose.

My comments:

BDSM to cope with trauma. That's it. It's nice and sweet and hot at the same time.

Geleotto fu il Libro by Ghidorahs_child

Summary:

"I have nightmares of you leaving me."

My comments:

GriffGuts gets ready for bed together! Featuring book talk, insecurities, and lots of domestic fluff

Steel Groove by Maplekites

Summary:

The Hawks enjoy celebrating anything they can.

My comments:

GriffGuts, my dancing queens

Completed Multi-Chapter Fics

When Night Comes Down by alovelyburn

Summary:

"If you stand far enough outside the tapestry, you can see the many threads and paths unwalked. The points of change can be so tiny they go unnoticed at the time... though the ripples travel for centuries and more, into eternity. Yet, in the end, all paths lead to one path. There may be deviations, yes, yet still we dance that same dance, with the steps assigned to us by fate. It is inevitable. One must die to resurrect. One must fall to rise."

My comments:

This fic is my Roman Empire. If Apostle!Guts is your thing, this fic is the perfect fic for you.

Ongoing Multi-Chapter Fics

our castle was always made of sand by meereens

Summary:

His life was easy to understand. Mother liked to tell him stories, wrapped up in their canopy bed with warmth crackling in her words. He was born from a real-life fairytale, everyone knew it, from a dashing knight’s love for a simple princess.

Queen Charlotte and King Griffith's young son uncovers something he was not meant to know.

My comments:

This is THEE GriffGuts kid fic (and the only one to my knowledge too haha). It's the perfect "Griffith gets guy and the throne" au and really explores what GriffGuts would look like from a child's perspective, specifically Griffith's son's perspective. I know that kid fics can be annoying with the way some people write kids but trust me, William Leopold Guts Charles Wyndham is the cutest little guy ever and I would lay down my life for him.

Fic Series

Sehnsucht by SeaDragons (SimpleNefelibata)

My comments:

GriffGuts: Hurt no Comfort the Series

#berserk #guts #griffith #griffguts #violetposts.exe

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loveroftoomanyfandoms · 4 months

Text

A Little Angel (Or Devil?) Chapter 1

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Story Summary: Matt and Reader, happily married at the end of Angel of God, my Guardian Dear, start the next chapter in their life together -- parenthood.

Warnings/Tags: Smut, Unprotected Sex (I mean obviously, Matt and Reader are trying for a baby), Pregnancy and all that comes with it, no graphic depiction of childbirth

Word Count: ~1250

A/N: I realized that I didn't have anything to post for Valentine's Day, so here's the first chapter of the AoG sequel! We're starting out spicy, lol. 😏🔥

As always, let me know if you'd like to be tagged!

Matt Murdock smiled as he got dressed for work, the sound of his wife muttering to herself as she fiddled with the ice maker on their new refrigerator three floors down filling him with happiness.

He and Y/N had been married about a month and a half and had been slowly getting their 4-story townhouse -- the dream home that Matt had surprised Y/N with as a wedding gift -- situated and furnished, starting with their bedroom then moving down to the first floor before working their way back up.

He chuckled as Y/N made a sound of triumph, the ice maker finally doing what she wanted it to do.

He finished tying his tie and made his way downstairs, heading into the kitchen where Y/N was now standing at the counter packing her lunch while waiting for her iced coffee to finish brewing.

Y/N turned and gave him a kiss. “Morning, husband.”

Matt smiled as he kissed her back. “Mmm. Morning, wife.”

Y/N began to move back towards their coffee maker. “I think I managed to get the voice control on the refrigerator programmed.”

“Oh, great --” Matt's brow furrowed. “Hey, wait a second.”

Y/N paused. “What's up?”

Matt moved behind her and nuzzled her neck. “Are you using a new body wash?”

Y/N hummed, tilting her head to the side to give Matt better access. “No, it's the same one I've always used. Why?”

Matt shrugged. “You smell different.”

“Huh, that's odd. I haven't switched anything -- still using the same body wash, same shampoo, same antiperspirant… I haven't even used a different lotion since I found that one that doesn't overwhelm your senses.”

Matt shook his head and nuzzled Y/N's neck again, the change in her scent awakening something primal in him. “I'm not complaining, angel.”

He grazed her pulse point with his teeth before soothing the spot with a kiss. “It's actually really turning me on.”

Y/N let out a soft whimper, the sound sending shockwaves straight to Matt's cock. “Matt, baby, unless you want to be late for court I suggest you not do that, because I will drag you back upstairs to our bedroom and have my wicked way with you.”

Matt chuckled lowly before wrapping one hand around Y/N’s waist while creeping his other one under the dress she wore. “Who said we have to go all the way upstairs, angel? Who said I can't just fuck you right here in our kitchen?”

He slid his hand inside Y/N’s underwear and slipped a finger between her weeping folds, groaning at the slickness that coated his digit. “Mmm, especially when you're already this needy for me.”

Y/N gasped and gripped the counter, the scent of her arousal becoming even stronger. “Matt, Matty, baby, please…”

Matt lightly circled her bud with his fingertip. “Is that a yes, sweetheart?”

Y/N moaned as she reached under her dress to pull her underwear down. “Yes, Matthew, fuck. Want your cock inside me.”

Matt unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants, pulling his pants and boxers down just enough to free his hard cock.

He gave himself a few strokes and lined up with Y/N’s entrance before easily sliding inside her.

He groaned as Y/N’s walls tightened around him. “Jesus , angel, you feel incredible.”

Y/N gasped. “God, so do you, Matty. Need you to fuck me, please.”

Matt pulled out until just his tip remained inside Y/N then slowly pushed back in. “Like this, sweetheart?”

He could feel the displacement of air as Y/N vigorously shook her head. “Want it hard and deep, Matty.”

Matt let out a low rumble from deep in his chest. “Oh yeah? Want a reminder of who this cunt belongs to?”

Y/N clenched around him. “Uh huh. Want to still feel you inside me while I’m sitting at my desk at work today.”

Matt pulled out once again then slammed his hips upwards, Y/N’s cry of ecstasy music to his ears.

Y/N hands flew out and grasped the counter. “Fuck -- need it just like that, baby, please.”

Matt began to fuck her in a rough pace, Y/N’s hips slamming back into him with each thrust. “Christ, sweetheart, I can feel you clenching around me. You're so fucking close already, aren't you, angel?”

Y/N’s head fell back against Matt's shoulder, one of her hands reaching up to caress his cheek. “Uh huh, feels so good, Matty. Want you to come inside me, fill me up.”

Matt growled then reached down and picked Y/N’s leg up to bend her against the counter, the new angle allowing him to drive even deeper into her. “Touch yourself for me.”

Y/N’s hand that had been caressing Matt's face reached down to rub her bud. “Fuck, Matt, right there, sweetheart, don't stop, please --”

Matt groaned, the combination of Y/N’s desire for him and whatever was different about her scent making his head spin. “I gotcha, angel, gonna leave you full just like you need.”

He snaked his hand that was gripping her hip up to her neck, applying a gentle pressure around her throat. “Be a good wife and come for me, Y/N.”

Y/N’s breath hitched as she tightened around him. “Matt, yes-- ”

Matt slammed his hips upwards into Y/N one last time with a groan, his cock releasing stream after stream of his seed deep inside her as she came around him.

Y/N slumped against the counter, panting.

Matt carefully set Y/N’s leg down, making sure she remained steady on her feet. “You okay, angel?”

Y/N sighed blissfully. “Never fucking better.”

Matt chuckled then carefully pulled out of her, tucking himself back into his pants before grabbing a paper towel and dampening it so he could clean Y/N up.

He tilted his head to the side as he heard Y/N pull her underwear back up, his nostrils flaring at the scent of their mixed release soaking the fabric. “Are you…”

Y/N turned and gave him a kiss. “I told you I wanted to still feel you inside me while I was sitting at my desk at work today.”

Matt's spent cock gave a feeble twitch of interest. “I swear if I didn't have court today I'd be dragging you back upstairs to bed.”

Y/N buttoned and zipped Matt's pants up for him then adjusted his tie. “Mmm, raincheck for tonight?”

Matt nodded as he buckled his belt. “Court should adjourn pretty early today, so how about I make something special for dinner and we can have a date night in the garden? And we can sit on the swing Aunt Ruth gave us as a housewarming gift since it's finally starting to warm up outside.”

Y/N slid her hands down Matt's back and gently squeezed the globes of his ass. “That sounds perfect, Matty. Love you.”

Matt grinned as she handed him a travel mug of coffee. “Love you too, angel. See you tonight.”

Y/N gave him a kiss. “Now go get ‘em, counselor.”

Matt grabbed his briefcase off of the end table in the foyer and headed out the door, hurrying to catch a cab so he wouldn't actually be late for work. He still couldn't figure out what was different about Y/N’s scent, but it had certainly been a fun way to start the morning.

#lotmf writes #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock x reader #ALA(oD) Masterlist #AoG Masterlist

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plentyoffandoms · 7 months

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I would like a homelander smut where the reader already had a baby and i know he loves breastmilk so when his passing by he sees the reader breastfeeding her baby and they have rough sex

Night Moves (18+)

Homelander x f/Reader

Just like all my other stories, this has not been proofread, but please enjoy.

Gifs and photos do not belong to me. 1st gif @acecroft

Warnings: Unprotected Sex. Tittie sucking. Breastmilk. Homelander (yes, he is a warning all by himself) breeding kink

WC: 834

I hope you like it!

Main Masterlist ♡ The Boys Masterlist ♡ Homelander Masterlist

Summary: In the Ask Box.

"Come on, sweetheart. There is still some left." I heard as I was walking past the nursery. I looked inside and could see her breastfeeding our little one, who looked like they were down for the count.

I leaned against the doorframe and watched the two of them quietly.

"Come on, JJ." She said as she brought his face close to her other breast, trying to get him to latch on, but he just wouldn't.

"Put him to bed." I finally said.

"But John, he needs to, " I held up my hand, and she trailed off as I walked a few feet into the nursery.

"JJ knows that he is full. Put him to bed." I told her sternly. She just sighed and stood up and laid him gently in his crib.

She didn't bother covering herself up as she left the room and down the hall towards her, well, our bedroom when I was there.

I could hear her muttering to herself, but I didn't comment, knowing it could turn into a fight, and I was not here for a fight.

"No point on staying tonight." She said to me.

I scoffed, and she found me standing in front of her. "And why the hell not? Are you seeing someone else?" Cue her rolling her eyes.

"No, John. JJ didn't finish, and my breasts are still sore and full."

I looked down at her breasts and could see how they were full of milk. I licked my lips at the thought of finally tasting her milk.

I placed my hand on the nape of her neck and leaned down so I was face to face with her. "Why don't I help you with that?" Her eyes went real wide. "You can't be serious, John?"

"Oh, but I am." I grabbed her hand and placed it over my hard-on. "I know you are sore, baby, and so am I. I take care of you, and you take care of me."

◆

"Taking me so well, aren't you my pretty girl." I grunted as my hands were on her hips, gripping them as I bounced her on my lap. My cock buried deep inside her pussy.

I wrapped my lips around her leaking nipple and moaned once more at the taste of her milk on my tongue. I sucked on her breasts for a few

moments and then took my mouth off and moved to the other one.

"Shit, John." She cried out after a sucked a bit too hard. She slapped the back of my head, but I slapped her ass, hard enough to leave a handprint. I tore my mouth from her tit and flip us over, so she was under me.

I manoeuvred her until her body was practically bent in half, and I lined my cock up with her entrance and slammed into her quivering body.

I started off fast and hard, not wanting her to think she has any control in this relationship.

"Who the fuck do you think you are huh?" I sneered. My spit hitting her face. I reached between our two bodies and gripped her sore, leaking breasts and squeezing slightly. She whimpered out, "That hurts."

"Good." I leaned down and wrapped my lips around her nipple once more and sucked as hard as I could, letting my mouth fill with her milk as I ppunded her into the mattress.

Her hands were in my hair, gripping it hard, but I loved it.

I knew she was close. I could feel her pussy starting to flutter around my cock.

"Come for me, baby." I groaned as I switched breasts. The first one is finally empty enough not to cause her too much pain.

Now, the second one, there seems to be more. It was dribbling down my chin and onto her stomach.

"John, please." I knew what she needed. I hiked her leg up over my waist and angled my hips just so, and I was hitting that spot inside her that had her screaming out my name.

She arched her back, her tits being smashed against my face, her pussy squeezing my cock, her lower body shaking as she came, her screaming my name.

I was in heaven.

I fucked her hard, and rough throw her orgasm.

I pulled my mouth from her tit as I was close.

"Gonna fill you."

"Gonna put another baby in you." Just the thought of her pregnant again with my child brought me to the edge.

Three more thrusts, and I was grunting her name as I filled her with my cum. She gasped softly at the feeling of my warmth inside her.

"Did that help?" I asked her as I pulled out of her.

"Mm, thank you, but seriously, John, another baby?"

"Yes, as many as I want."

◆

A month and a half later, I found one angry woman holding up four positive pregnancy tests, and all I could think about was 'helping' her once more with her milk.

#reader imagine #female reader #reader insert #the boys #the boys smut #the boys x reader #the boys x you #the boys x female reader #the boys x f/Reader #homelander imagine #Homelander smut #Homelander fic #Homelander fanfic #homelander x reader #homelander x you #homelander x y/n #Homelander x female reader #Homelander x f/Reader

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ticklishthoughts1 · 5 months

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Start to Finish (350 Followers Story Post)

Cuddles are, absolutely, the best thing in existence. That’s what I’m thinking as I glance down at them, their head nuzzled against my chest. What a cutie. I run a hand softly through their hair, and brush their ears…then grin a bit. Gently, I flutter my fingers by the tops of their ears, and mutter “Tickle monster woke up!~” While using one hand to grip their waist, keeping them cuddled to me. I giggle softly as they begin to squirm around a tiny bit as I gently caress their ears, their neck, the line of their jaw….after about 5 minutes of this relaxing, melting tickling? I flip them and me, using the knowledge i have from wrestling to seamlessly switch our positions so now I’m on top of them, straddling their waist, and relishing in that adorable blush. I wiggle my fingers at them, watching their lee panic build as they watch my hands slowly lower…..

Only to lean forward, and blow a soft raspberry into their neck. The sound of surprise mixed with laughter is simply adorable! So I blow another…just one more….okay, maybe 3 more. 5 more, tops. When done, I begin whispering teases in their ear, as my hands dart up to their ribcage. I giggle softly as their laughter takes a sharp increase-weren’t expecting that, were they? I coo at them as my hands dance around their upper body-armpits, ribs, back, tummy, bellybutton, sides, hips. I hit everywhere that makes them smile, and remind them exactly how cute they are.Of course…that’s only one half of the cute little lee’s body. Luckily I’m tall, so I only have to sit up a bit for my hands to be able to reach back to their thighs, pinching around and skittering, to the back and front of their knees, to their calves and ankles and feet. I move with them as they kick around, and giggle, before letting them catch their breath…then…”Boo!~” I Pounce again, this time targeting their favorite spot-at least, what I had observed to be their favorite from watching them squirm under me. I lock eyes with them, smirk a bit wider, and mouth “ticklish?” before targeting the area a biiiiit faster. I then let them go a bit, and mutter in a deeper voice “Run” as if I was some kind of villain. Maybe I am. Omega-Ler, or something. I let them try to run away, then chase them, silently at first, but then giggling in a teasy way that I KNOW affects them when I’m close. As we scramble around, I begin describing every way I’m going to wreck them, once I catch them. Every way I’m going to make them smile and blush and snort and squeal and squirm. Eventually, I run them into a corner, and walk a bit slower, being MORE teasy as I know I’ve essentially won. I then grab their wrists in a way that doesn’t hurt them, and wrestle them to the floor playfully, laughing a bit as we tumble around together. Of course, being a varsity wrestler, I win the little tussle, and end up straddling them again, this time gently tickling their palms while holding their wrists to the ground. I do this slow, gradually speeding up…until they crack. That, dear reader, is when I go in for the kill~ I do everything I said I would during the chase, step. By. Step. Some parts I tease, some parts I go sient. Slow, fast, pinchy and squishy and pokey and wiggly and oh so very tickly, is it all.I go for the self proclaimed tickle monster bit again, this time letting out playful fake growls, and gently nibbling at them, while making my hands pinch at them like monster claws. I do “drum solos” on their ribs and tummy. At one point, I’m just making them hysterical with ghost tickles alone. After an untold amount of time, I slow to a stop, and kiss them on the forehead, slowly getting up, and getting them some water. After making sure they’re okay, I silently begin, IMO, the best part: aftercare. So I help them up, maybe PICK them up if they’re okay with that. I then, go with them over to where we began, and hug them tight, muttering how cute they are, how special and wonderful. I mean every word, and I am very glad I know them. Finally, we end as we began. Embracing, with their head on my chest. Cuddles are the best thing in existence.

#sfw tickle community #tickle thoughts #ler mood #350 followers?!#hivemind you're mad

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bluejaysandblackbats · 2 months

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Phantom Grin

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: Bruce Wayne visits his son's grave on the night of his resurrection. Will it change Jason's fate, or is it all simply inevitable?

Chapters: 4/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth, Barbara Gordon, Tim Drake, Cassandra Cain

Relationship(s): Jason Todd/Original Character

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain, Jason Todd is Disabled, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Resurrected Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne Get Along

Chapter Four: Resurface

When Barbara left, Jason and Dick sat together, eating fish Alfred broiled for their lunch. Jason stopped eating and tapped the bed by his side. "You want me to sit next to you?" Dick asked. Jason nodded, and Dick sat on the bed next to Jason. It was cramped, but Jason didn't seem to mind. "You okay?"

Jason gestured to Dick by tapping his head and making a face. He went back to eating and listened carefully, waiting for Dick's reply. "Your head hurts still?" Dick asked. Jason nodded. Dick looked at Jason for a long while, and he frowned. "Want some medicine for your head?"

Jason shook his head and took a sip of water. He liked having Dick around. Dick reached to turn the tv on, and Jason grabbed his wrist. "Okay. Yeah, bad idea... Jason, something's wrong," Dick whispered. Once he finished his dinner, he set his tray aside and lay his head on Dick's shoulder. "Jason, I'm gonna go away next week. I won't be back for maybe a month or more—."

Jason sighed. "Jason, I'm—." Jason took another loud breath, and Dick chuckled. "Okay, I won't go. But I'm gonna have to go eventually... I just don't feel like arguing with you about it." Silence fell between the two, and Jason smiled to himself. He wished he could remember how things were with Dick before. He imagined that they spent a lot of time together.

Dick's phone rang, and Jason waited for him to answer it. He wondered who was calling. No one ever called. He pointed to the caller ID. "Someone who wants to meet you... Hold on," Dick requested as he answered the phone. "He's alright. Where's Bruce?"

Jason would've listened in if his head didn't ache the way that it did. He couldn't shake the thought of the memory from earlier. Jason could remember the faces of the people and the pain that he felt at the time, but nothing else. Jason nudged Dick. "One minute," Dick whispered. Jason nodded before getting up.

He went to the bathroom and shut the door. He unbuttoned his shirt, his fingers knocking clumsily against each other. He traced his scars before parting his hair to feel the various dents and traceable lines along his scalp. Jason did this over and over again. Every time he used more force until he was in tears. He let out a sob without meaning to, and before he knew it, he stood there in the mirror, wailing like a small child. "Jason, what's wrong?" Dick asked through the door. Jason wouldn't have known what to say even if he could speak. The scars told stories on his body in a language that he could not read. It frustrated him. Some of the wounds made sense, but others didn't. He just wanted things to make sense.

"Jason, did something happen?" Dick asked. Jason didn't answer. "Knock if you don't want me to come in." Jason didn't knock. He waited for Dick to come in, and Dick stood in the doorway staring at Jason. Jason's hair was a mess, his shirt was unbuttoned, and his face was a mess from crying.

"Jason, what's going on?" Dick questioned. Jason traced his scars with a fiery disregard for himself. Dick grabbed his hand. "Hey, shhh. I'm not gonna let you hurt yourself. I know you're upset, but I can't let you do that," Dick spoke softly. Jason hiccupped as he wept. "Your scars aren't bad. They just mean that you survived-." Jason shook his head and traced over a large y-shaped scar on his chest. "You want to know why you have that scar?" Jason nodded, still crying as Dick took a deep breath and put his hands behind his head. "You were dead for a long time, so long that you had a funeral... And before the funeral, you had an autopsy."

Jason sniffed and hiccupped as he continued to cry, and Dick started buttoning Jason's shirt back up before wiping his face. Jason turned his face away and closed his eyes as he rubbed circles into his forehead with his palms. "Jason—." Jason shook his head as he remembered waking up that night. He remembered the pain and the panic of being trapped underneath the dirt. He opened his eyes and pushed past Dick as he paced back and forth. "Jason, I know that's a lot to swallow, but—."

Jason took a deep breath and started crying even harder. It felt as if there wasn't enough air in the room. He coughed and hiccupped and paced in tears until Dick grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. "I'm sorry that I told you that, but it's the truth," Dick whispered. Jason trembled in Dick's embrace as the terror took over. Dick knew that there wasn't much he could do for Jason at that point. All he could do was wait for the panic to subside.

By that time, Bruce came in with a panicked expression. Jason pulled away from Dick and stood at the window with his back turned to everyone. "What the hell is going on?" Bruce asked.

"He's having a bad day. Actually, bad would be an understatement... You know what, we wanted him to get his memory back, and for what? What is there for him to remember?" Dick asked. "Look at him and tell me that you want him to keep remembering when this is what it does to him."

Dick pushed past Bruce and left the room. Bruce stood in the doorway, and he meditated on Dick's words. "Jason, is your memory starting to come back?" Bruce asked. Jason nodded. He wouldn't turn around and look Bruce in the eye. "Alfred wanted me to show you something. I brought in some pictures." Jason shook his head. "Not all your memories are painful, Jason. I promise you. We had some great memories... You used to like fast cars, and I used to take you out in the car at night."

Jason didn't budge. "I never got to tell you how much I loved you... And I still love you so much," Bruce whispered. Jason swallowed hard, trying not to cry again. He turned around and walked towards Bruce, and Bruce hugged him. "I love you, Jason... And I'm so sorry that I didn't do a better job of protecting you."

Jason didn't care what Bruce said. Jason knew that Bruce was security personified. He felt a strange comfort when Bruce was around. "Jason, how would you like to come home sometimes?"

Jason made a soft noise and nodded. "Good, I know this has been tough... But you've handled this all so well. This isn't something you should've had to go through," Bruce whispered, "And I want you to get to come home sometimes. Things are gonna get a little more challenging before it gets easy, but we'll all be here for you." He kissed the top of Jason's head.

Jason climbed back into bed and lay on his stomach. Bruce pulled up a chair and sat next to him. The events of the day took a lot out of him. Bruce waited until the nurse came, and he explained that Jason was suffering from a persistent headache.

#fic #phantom grin fic #batfam #Jason Todd #Bruce Wayne #Dick Grayson #Alfred Pennyworth #Barbara Gordon #Tim Drake #Cassandra Cain #Jason Todd/Original Character #Canon Divergent AU #Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain #Jason Todd is Disabled #Barbara Gordon is Oracle #Resurrected Jason Todd #Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating #Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne Get Along

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keyofjetwolf · 14 days

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So I ran the 5k this weekend.

By which I mean I walked the 5k.

This was my first "race". I signed up in January-ish, as a way to help motivate me to get my shit together, healthy-speaking. It didn't work. Or, rather, I didn't work.

I've fallen way off my path toward some modicum of health and fitness. I missed some major goals and was furious with and disgusted in myself. Rather than use that as a stick to encourage me forward however, I beat myself into the ground with it. HI HELLO WELCOME TO OUR SAME OLD TIRED BULLSHIT THIS IS ALWAYS SO HELPFUL TO US. But I varied it up! Since I no longer really have the luxury of being a perpetual sad sack, dragging my failures up on stage to consistently, cruelly, delightfully abuse myself with and about, I shoved it all into a box in the corner and ignored it. Problem solved!

Except of course that included focusing on, you know, SOLUTIONS. Ignoring a thing literally never solved the thing, and I knew that, and kept resurfacing and poking and needling, but I am like Olympic-level procrastination sometimes, and kept punting it down the road. "That's a problem for Future Jet Wolf, and I hate that cunt, fuck her!" is a joke I make often and laugh at always, but of course eventually Future Jet Wolf becomes Now Jet Wolf and there's no more road, just a big ol' ball of problems kicked right smack in the middle of my confused, startled gob. What?? Who could have possibly foreseen??!

So it was when the 5k arrived. I didn't want to do it. In the days leading up, my brain -- cunning hateful bitch she can be -- started whispering all the extremely logical and justifiable reasons excuses to not. "Yeah," I agreed, "but we gotta."

The whisper reached full on panicked crescendo yesterday morning. I don't know if it was self-sabotage, or just the universe having its usual fun, but everything went wrong. I couldn't find my shirt and shorts, buried somewhere in the piles of clean clothes I have yet to put away (another club wielded with great effectiveness before the day was out). By the time I dug up replacements, I was late in the shower, thus late out the door. I grabbed my watch and my headphones, but despite never having difficulty before, could get neither to work. I drove the wrong way and twisted myself around getting to the park where the race was to start. When I finally arrived, I couldn't tell where we were to gather. There were participants everywhere, walking about, but no central gathering that I could see. Signs were posted, but sporadically, and to my eyes, random and contradictory. The race was moments from starting.

I want to say I brushed all this aside without effort, that I bravely and confidently pressed onward and sorted things out. I want to say that. What actually happened is I found a quiet and -- jesus wept, I hope it was -- hidden spot and cried for a minute. Maybe two. Reasons Excuses formed on my lips and they tasted sweet. Hell, if I spun this right, it would be HILARIOUS. Another "Oh, that Theodore Nickels!" story. We would tell it around the Shabbat table and have a grand laugh.

I've not yet found my way to any point of pride in this overlong and deeply unflattering tale, but if I get there, it's likely in this moment, where I wiped my face on my shirt, pushed away from the wall, and resumed my search for the starting line.

Then I was there. The race was to begin at 9:45, not 9:30 like I thought, so I had a solid ten minutes. Got my watch rebooted. Found the headphone manual online and successfully powered it up. When the race began, I took one step forward, then another. 51 minutes later, I crossed the finish line. I had completed my first race.

I was deeply, violently disappointed in myself. The vitriol began immediately. What a pathetic effort. Humiliating. Barely a fraction of what what Doc and Mike accomplished, and done excruciatingly poorly at that. Shameful, laughable, grotesque, thesaurus.com etc etc blah blah blah. On and on, all goddamn day, until I found it as boring as I did upsetting.

PLUS SIDE: the more it goes on, the easier it gets to ignore a constant hateful drone.

LEGIT HILARIOUS ATTEMPT AT BONUS POINTS: my brain seized my lack of creativity in ongoing self-abuse and added that to the evidence list of my suckage BABYGIRL I CANNOT TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY RIGHT NOW ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL

Right, then, so what the fuck? If it were literally anybody but myself, I'd be cheering them on. YOU DID THE THING. Doing the thing is objectively more accomplished than NOT doing the thing. What did I realistically expect? That I'd take top prize in the first race I'd ever done with a preparation level I'd managed to sink into the negative? And would that have even mattered? What result would have appeased? What achievement would translate to victory?

24 hours later, I still don't really have answers. It might be pent up derision at myself for that previous goal-failure and backslide which I'm now directly confronting instead of ignoring. It might be some weird twisted preservation thing of the "you can't fail if you don't try" flavour of bullshittery. It might be the desperation of a destructive streak unwilling to allow improvement without a vicious bloody battle. All of this? At the very least, I think, some.

I forget, sometimes, more times than I'd like, that the meds don't fix everything, they simply keep the shit I can't control at bay so I can focus on the work. Work's still gotta be done, kiddo. That's on you.

Last night, I registered for my next 5k.

I'll definitely remember how to turn on my headphones. One improvement, NAILED. Not sure what #2 will be, but I've got three weeks. Time for work.

#life with jet wolf

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fluentmoviequoter · 6 months

Note

A day of with Deacon please

As fluffy as possible

MY FIRST DEACON REQUEST!!! I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted! You didn't specify, so I went with wife!reader, hope that's okay (and we are once again pretending Annie never existed). Thank you for the request and please let me know what you think! :)

Warnings: so much fluff, some kissing and cuddling, teasing, I mention his eyes a lot bc they're so pretty. I think that's it.

Word Count: 2.1k+ words

(This isn't a Christmas-specific fic, I just liked this gif and it fits the story.)

David 'Deacon' Kay rarely gets a day off, let alone one that aligns with a day when you have nothing planned. Last night, he came home and pulled you into his arms, content to stay that way until he had to return to work. You laughed, however, and pointed out that he’d need to eat at some point.

Now, as his body clock attempts to wake him up far earlier than he’d like on his day off, he reaches across the bed for you. Your hand slips into his and leads him back to sleep. Once you’re sure he’s asleep again, you pull your hand away and sneak out of the bedroom. Deacon deserves breakfast in bed, but you don’t know how much time you have until he wakes up. When you finish cooking and set the plate and a cup of coffee on Deacon’s nightstand, you crawl back into bed and curl into his side, quickly joining him in slumber.

Deacon wakes up again a few minutes later, smiling when he feels you against his side. He looks down and sees your head on his shoulder, your arm across his waist, and your legs tangled with his. Brushing a hand over your hair, the smell of food distracts him as he looks over, his smile growing when he sees what you did for him. Moving so he doesn’t disturb you, he pulls the tray toward him, keeping a hand on your back.

“G’morning,” you mumble against his side, straightening your legs as you pull yourself closer to him.

Deacon tilts his head down, pressing a kiss against your temple. “Thank you,” he whispers against your skin.

You roll back slightly and sit beside him, smiling as you run your fingers through his hair, ruffled from a good night of sleep. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Deacon replies, kissing your forehead again before you insist he eat.

“It’ll get cold,” you point out when his hands stray to your waist.

“We can heat it up,” he argues, smiling against your cheek.

“That would require getting out of bed.”

Deacon sighs, feigning exasperation as he moves the tray to his lap and begins eating. He laughs when you steal a piece of your favorite from his plate, and the sound makes you fall even more in love with him, if that’s possible.

✯✯✯✯✯

As Deacon finishes eating, you leave his side and walk to the closet.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Deacon quips behind you.

“To get ready,” you reply, stifling a laugh.

“No ‘Deacon’s Day in Bed’?”

You look at him over your shoulder, smiling as he laughs at his joke.

“Fine,” he grumbles, stretching as he stands.

His hands grip your waist as he lays his chin on your shoulder.

“When’s the last time we had a day off together?” he asks.

“How old are you?” you joke. “A long time.”

“Then we should make the most of it.”

“What do you call this?”

“Affection,” he answers, pressing kisses against your neck.

You turn toward him, pressing a hand against his chest as he tries to kiss you.

“Morning breath,” you argue.

“Don’t care.”

“I do.”

Deacon shakes his head and turns you by your hips, directing you to the bathroom. He points at your toothbrush as he retrieves his own.

“You get bossy on your day off. Are you like this at work?”

“I’m worse.”

You laugh as his hand lands on your lower back, smiling at you in the mirror as you both get ready. His hand stays on you as you wash your face and finish your routine.

“Want to go for a walk? It’s beautiful out there,” Deacon asks, looking out the window as you follow him into the bedroom.

“Got the zoomies already?” you ask playfully, returning to the closet for shoes.

“What?” he asks, brows furrowed as he walks toward you.

“You’re used to working all day, it’s understandable to have zoomies,” you explain seriously.

“Aren’t 'zoomies' what you say about Street and Luca’s dog? You’re comparing me to a dog?”

“You have puppy eyes,” you say, shrugging as you wrap your arms around his waist. “And you did ask to go for a walk.”

“You’re lucky,” he mutters.

“How?”

“You know,” he answers, kissing you again.

The walk is short but enjoyable; Deacon’s hand is in yours as you go around the neighborhood. When you get home, Deacon kneels to take your shoes off, princess treatment carried into marriage.

“Do you want to watch that movie you’ve been talking about?” he asks as he stands.

You’ve been waiting to watch a new movie with him, but he’s been busy with work. When he offers, you shake your head excitedly and land several kisses across his face. He smiles under your kisses before leading you to the kitchen. He helps you prepare popcorn and your favorite movie snacks, arranging them on the coffee table as you queue the movie. Deacon sits beside you, laying an arm across your shoulders as you press play.

The first scene is nearly over when you feel Deacon rubbing your hair between his fingers. You look over at him, and he smiles innocently. Turning against him, his hand falls to your waist and begins rubbing up and down, over your ribs, and back down to your hip. Before you can catch onto the plot, Deacon distracts you completely by kissing up your neck and along your jaw. He leans back when you move, and you turn so you’re lying on his chest. With easy access, you begin painting his face with kisses as his hands hold your hips firmly. He tries to catch your lips, but you can’t risk growing distracted, so you pull backward.

An explosion sounds through the television speakers, and when you turn your head to the movie, Deacon takes the opportunity to flip you so you’re against the couch, and he’s hovering above you.

“My turn,” he claims, bending down as he begins kissing you in neat rows, up and down your face, over your cheekbones, and on your nose.

His eyes stay on yours, and you try to shy away from his affection, turning toward a cushion. He makes a ‘tsk’ noise under his breath as he turns your chin back toward him. He smiles, his puppy eyes as big and beautiful as ever, as he whispers, “I love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

Deacon shakes his head and moves you once more, letting you lay on his chest as you finish the movie; you trace shapes on his chest and down his arm as his hands explore your hair and back. The credits begin rolling, and you move your chin against the center of his chest, glad to feel the steady beat of his heart against your skin.

“What do you want to do with the rest of your day off?” you ask.

“I don’t care, as long as it’s with you,” he replies.

“Does that happen to involve lunch?” You bat your eyelashes as you ask, smiling when he laughs.

“I’m sure we can figure something out.”

He holds you against his chest as he sits up and reaches for his phone, ordering your favorite before returning his full attention to you. You take his hand, holding it in your lap as you trace his callouses.

“How was work this week?” you ask, looking at his hands.

Deacon's hands have always signified something to you, because the same hands that fight criminals and protect you day after day hold you gently and ensure you know how loved you truly are.

“It was good,” he answers quickly. Then he turns the conversation to you, asking what you’ve been up to.

“How’d you like that movie?” he teases.

“Oh, it was great. I especially liked the part that was playing while you kissed me.”

The doorbell rings, and you roll out of his lap, playfully huffing as he walks by. He laughs at your antics, distantly wishing he was around more to see them daily.

Deacon returns with the food, extending a hand to you as he leads you to the table. You sit in the chair closest to him, most of your chairs unused except for when 20 David comes over. He leans forward, gripping one of the legs of your chair to pull you closer. Laughing, you lay one of your thighs over his as you eat, sharing your food like you share everything else.

✯✯✯✯✯

“You’re touchy today,” you point out as Deacon runs his hand along your back.

“Which is different than usual?” he asks.

“I just- I feel special.”

“How so?”

“With what you do, no one would blame you if you never wanted physical contact again. But you show me that you love me with little touches, and don’t care when I do the same,” you answer, growing shy under Deacon's gaze.

“You know why? Because I do love you.”

“As I love you.”

Deacon loops both arms around your waist, swaying gently as your favorite song plays through the speaker.

“We could have done something special for your day off, you know,” you say.

“This is special. Next time I get a few days off, though, we’ll go somewhere.”

You laugh as Deacon dips you before pulling you up and spinning you. He asked you to dance as he slid your ring back on. Whenever you take it off to wash dishes, clean, or do anything that would risk breaking it, you give it to Deacon. If he’s not home, you place it in his nightstand, confident that he will guard it and return it safely to you. He invested in silicone rings for both of you, and when you have a day full of activities, you wear yours, but most of the time, you want to see your original wedding ring.

“Did you help Tan pick a ring?” you ask, remembering Deacon said he had one for his girlfriend.

“No, but rings are personal, I don’t know that I would help even if he asked.”

“You’re such a hopeless romantic… but you're my hopeless romantic.”

“‘Til death,” he adds, kissing your forehead.

The music ends, but you stay in Deacon’s arms as you ask what he wants to do next.

✯✯✯✯✯

When you express that you’re hungry again, knowing that Deacon won’t tell you if he is, he agrees to make dinner with you. Side-by-side, you work on preparing the meal, uncaring when Deacon tries to distract you. You complain but truly don’t mind, and he knows it.

“Deac,” you groan when his hands find your hips, standing behind you while you stir ingredients together.

He responds by saying your name in the same tone, smiling as he reaches around you and adds the spices.

“Thanks,” you say quietly.

After dinner, enjoyed in the same closely situated chairs you had lunch in, you clean up quickly. While Deacon puts the dishes away, you start a kettle to make your favorite hot drinks and remove the small dessert you prepared earlier from the fridge.

Deacon opens the patio door for you as he carries the dishes for the drinks and dessert. You sit in separate chairs, looking out over the yard as you talk about nothing and everything. Deacon’s hand wanders out of his chair and into yours, finding your fingers and lacing his with yours. Squeezing his hand once, you stand from your chair and move to his lap, leaning against his chest. You look up, unsurprised but disappointed that you can’t see any stars past the LA lights.

“That trip we’re taking when I’m off,” he begins, waiting for your nodded acknowledgment, “we’re going somewhere where we can see the stars again.”

“You’re the only star I need,” you reply, knowing how fluffy and cliche it sounds but not caring. It earns you a smile and a kiss, so it can't be too bad.

“It sounds amazing, though, thank you,” you whisper, shivering as a night chill blows in from the desert.

“That means it’s time to go inside,” Deacon whispers against your hairline.

He helps you carry everything inside and locks the door behind you. Once the dishes and the leftovers are put away, Deacon scoops you up in his arms, smiling at your laughter as he carries you to the bedroom.

You get ready for bed how you got ready for the day: together. When you join Deacon in bed, he pulls you close, letting you sit between his legs with your back against his chest. Your hearts beat in sync as he picks up a book from his nightstand. It’s been too long since you had the time to do this, but as he reads, you know that the long, sometimes lonely time between days off makes them worth it.

#david deacon kay x reader #deacon kay x reader #david kay x reader #david deacon kay #deacon kay #swat cbs #requests #🥰 anon

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starlazergazer · 1 year

Text

No Where Else to Go

Pairing: Anakin x Reader

Summary: You and Anakin never got along super well, most interactions ending up in some sort of fight about the smallest things. Though when your first solo mission goes wrong you take it hard, thoughts spiraling into dangerous territory you end up on the doorstep of the only man you could think to go to looking for someone to lean on: Anakin Skywalker

Warnings: Hella angst and some swearing

Word count: 4.5k

A/N: Just wrote it on a whim cause I thought it could be cute let me know what you think and feel free to send me any requests you guys have!

You shut down the screen before you, head falling forward into your hands as you rubbed at your aching eyes. You were exhausted, your body was exhausted, your mind was exhausted, your eyes were exhausted, you were more than ready to leave the library and go crash in your room. Despite everything, however, a note of pride still rang through you at having finished.

You did it this time, you genuinely put in the work like your master was always nagging you about, you spent more hours in the library researching the planet your next mission was on than you had ever before, reading every article, text, map, etc. available to you until your eyes were ready to roll out of their sockets.

And maybe your master had a point because more than anything you felt prepared, like you could do this, your first solo mission and already you felt set for success.

As you stood your hand went out to the table where you had placed your lightsaber, not liking the way it dragged down your belt while you sat, but found nothing but empty table.

You scrunched your brows in confusion, ducking down to check the floor because you were sure that was where you had put it, that was where you always put it, right within reach.

The panic was starting to set in as the floor seemed empty too, your master was going to kill you if you showed up without a lightsaber again. Dropping to your knees quickly, your hands reached out blindly, desperately hoping they somehow hit the saber your eyes couldn’t see.

Anakin watched you crawl on the floor beneath your table with a small smirk, hiding behind a nearby shelf. His eyes cutting to the top shelf where your saber was precariously balanced just out of your reach.

He told himself that it was for your own good, that you needed to learn to keep better track of your saber, to take better note of your surroundings.

You’d been in the library since this morning, Anakin had taken the saber an hour after you arrived, and it was now well into the night and you were just now noticing it was gone.

And though a part of him said he should just give it back, another part relished at the idea of little miss perfect showing up to the next council meeting without her lightsaber.

You’d no doubt get a slap on the wrist, the masters may trip over each other as they tried to drown you with replacements.

If he’d shown up without it? Well that’d be a completely different story. Just further proof the Skywalker boy wasn’t to be trusted.

He ducked further behind the shelf as you came up to your feet, eyes desperately scanning the library, and though he registered the look of sheer panic on your face at missing it a large part of him didn’t care. You sailed through Jedi training like it was nothing, you could handle the minor inconvenience of losing your lightsaber for a bit.

With a small huff he turned and made his way towards the library door, only at the last second reaching out with the force just enough to tip your saber off the shelf, sending it clattering to the floor.

Maybe it wasn’t such a large part of him afterall.

You looked proudly on at the holodisplay before you, an up to date projection of the facilities layout displayed on it. Cobbled together from three different sources found in the library with a single line running through it to display your path.

You let the projection do the talking for you at first, letting the jedi around it survey the area for a bit before laying out your plan, a plan days in the making, a plan so foolproof your first solo mission had no choice but to go off without a hitch. At least until Anakin Skywalker got his hands on it.

“So you can see here there’s a series of old tunnels running beneath the building” you’d barely begun before Anakin started talking, not even acknowledging that you had been speaking as he cut you off.

“What’s this over here?”

You fought down your anger as you followed his gesture, you were not going to blow up in front of the jedi council not even if Anakin deserved it “Guarded door into the facility overlooking a 100 foot cliff” you answered quickly, refusing to give into his musings more than you had to.

“But as you can see over here” you were already trying to pivot, hand extended to point towards your point of entry before Anakin was speaking again.

“Why don’t you enter here it’s a straight path to the cells where he would be held” He asked the question as if this were the obvious solution, as if you hadn’t spent hours pouring over the building’s layout and he mere minutes.

“Because that would involve free climbing a 100 foot cliff right beneath guard’s noses” you answered simply, trying to keep as much venom from your voice as possible.

“If you don’t think you can handle it my men and I-“

This time you weren’t afraid to cut him off, to snap back. How dare he come and try and take over your mission in front of the council like this. How dare he imply you were incapable of free climbing when it was easily the dumbest way to sneak in. How dare he try and steam roll his way over your days of preparations with a plan he devised in two minutes flat

“Why risk a free climb like that when the tunnel system runs right to the cells as well. Do you just enjoy putting your men at risk padawan Skywalker” you put as much emphasis on the “padawan” as possible, enjoying the glare he sent your way from across the projection.

“This door is a straight shot you could be in and out in a matter of minutes” he shot back, leaning forward with both hands resting on the edges of the display “not having to deal with the mess that is tunnel system navigation”

If you didn’t know any better you’d say he was enjoying this. You mirrored his position, “Why risk the lives of more men when you could take a few extra minutes to take a more stealthy approach” you shot back with a raised brow.

You barely registered the hand at your back, having almost forgotten about the rest of the people in the room as you fought with Anakin. Your body, however, acted on instinct, posture snapping back to an upright position, your hands coming to clasp behind your back just as you had been taught, your eyes snaking briefly up to your master’s as he gave you an approving nod at your correction.

You were going to pay for that outburst later.

“This is padawan L/N’s mission” Master Windu’s voice broke your gaze from your master, your eyes snapping to him as you hid your victorious grin behind a mask “If she wants to take a more strategic stealth approach than so be it”

You just couldn’t help yourself, your eyes snapped back to Anakin’s to see him already looking at you, eyes roaming up and down as if to measure you up and you felt a certain victory in that. That’s right Skywalker you just lost.

“Of the plan we approve” Master Yoda spoke up drawing your attention back to the masters “Leave tomorrow you shall”

As trained to do you bowed at his words, making sure to make eye contact as you came back up, keeping a serious expression “thank you masters”

You followed the sound of fluttering robes out the council chambers, ignoring the feeling of Anakin’s gaze on you as you left, fixing your own on the back of your master’s head as you followed him out of the door

The ship was quiet, much too quiet.

The ride there had been joyous, rowdy, excited, bouts of congratulations and good lucks as you were about to lead them on your first solo mission, but now?

You looked around the ship, troopers silently sitting with heads in hands, staring off into the distance, looking down at seats unoccupied, seats that shouldn’t be unoccupied.

The ship landed without a hitch and the troopers wordlessly filled out, most avoiding eye contact as they passed, you never leaving your seat.

“Hey” the sound of your clone commander’s voice caught you off guard, making you jump slightly as your head snapped up to meet Alex’s gaze from above you “it’s not your fault kid”

Your gaze dropped immediately, as you refused to even acknowledge the words, refused to let them enter your mind, refused to accept the lie.

“Look” you heard Alex sigh and despite everything a part of you wanted to scream, wanted to order him to just leave, wanted to be left alone “get some sleep, we’ll talk about it in the morning”

But Alex had had a hard night too, they were his friends you had lost, the last thing he needed was you yelling at him “yeah alright”

But still you didn’t move, didn’t look up till you felt his hand clasp on your shoulder, giving you a nod towards the exit, showing you he wasn’t leaving without you.

And again you wanted to argue but it was late, you were tired, maybe he was right.

Slowly you pushed yourself to your feet and walked off the ship, breaking towards your room quickly without a word, ready to put as much distance between you and any reminder of tonight as possible.

But as soon as you got to your door you paused, finding yourself unable to go in, unable to just give up and forget. Men had died tonight under your command, didn’t they deserve better than to just be forgotten like that?

You turned slowly and started aimlessly off down the hall, no destination in mind though your brain was too occupied to have directed you towards one anyway.

Every mistake you had made played over in your mind, every negative comment handed down from your master echoed in it, you were smarter than this, you should’ve been smarter than this.

You didn’t even know their names.

That’s what really hit you. You’d been working to remember them all but there were so many and you had been too caught up in your plan they never stuck. Men had followed you into the unknown, obeyed your every command and died in its service, and you couldn’t even think of their names.

It was like every negative thought you had ever thought about yourself was coming true in one night, you weren’t a good jedi, you couldn’t be trusted on your own, you really can’t think for yourself.

And before you knew it there was a painful lump in the middle of your throat, inching its way up. There was a slight water to your eyes, your nose threatened to drip.

All at once the world seemed to be crashing down around you and there was nothing you could do to try and balance it.

You could feel your breathing change as you tried to swallow the lump, tried to push down your emotions.

Your first instinct was to meditate, that seemed to be the jedi catch all answer to emotions, but hours spent alone with your thoughts right now did not sound like a good idea.

A part of you recognized that what you needed to do was talk to someone, get every thought off your chest and out into the open, someone to tell you how to fix it.

Your master was out of the question immediately, knowing he would be nothing more than another voice confirming every worst thought you had about yourself, confirming your every mistake, making sure to punish you for each.

But if not your master than who? You didn’t have anyone else having spent your entire time as a jedi training to be the best you could possibly be. And look where that got you, a screw up jedi with no friends.

You could feel the thoughts start to spiral again and it made you want to scream at how helpless you felt, a slave to your own emotions.

And then you were at his door before you could even justify your own thought process to yourself, a hand raised to knock before you could stop it, ready to take back the knock the second after you did it.

No noise came from the other side of the door and a part of you thought about just walking away, pretending you had never knocked in the first place, let Anakin think he had been pranked.

Then the door slid open.

Before you stood a shirtless Anakin Skywalker, hair tossed in a million different directions, eyes squinted as they fought against the dim light in the hallway. “Y/N?”

His voice was thick and sluggish, eyebrows drawn together in confusion as he looked down at you, using the heel of his palm to rub at his eyes, to rid them of sleep or to check that it was really you standing before him you weren’t sure which.

“I-uh” you stuttered at first, instantly feeling the regret at having woke him “I’m sorry I didn’t-I” you couldn’t get the full sentence out, your mind still swirling, your eyes glued to his face refusing to look any further to his exposed torso.

“Y/N what’s going on?”

And maybe it was because it was the first time he had spoke to you without a hint of malice but you froze at the question. Every thought immediately leaving your brain as you looked up at him. The lump in your throat practically at the back of your mouth as you fought to keep any tears at bay. “I didn’t know where else to go”

And you know you looked pathetic, coming to his door in the middle of the night, eyes full of tears that had yet to spill, admitting to him you had no one to go to in a voice smaller and more fragile than you had ever heard it before, and a part of you mentally prepared for mocking.

Instead his expression practically melted off his face, eyebrows now scrunched together in concern as his eyes darted up and down the hallway as if to see what had brought you to him.

And yet still he placed a soft hand on your shoulder and stepped aside, offering no more than a soft “come in”

You should have known what to expect from Anakin’s room, that it would be identical to yours, afterall its hard to have any clutter when the only possessions you were allowed was the clothes on your back and a lightsaber. Still to see the mirror image of your own room caught you off guard.

“Give me one second” he said softly as he slipped around you into another room.

And though a part of you felt awkward being alone in the room for the first time a bigger part of you was tired. Tired of standing, tired of thinking, tired of everything. So you slowly made your way to the nearest wall and slid down it, your head going to your knees as you leaned back against it.

Anakin to his credit said nothing about where you chose to sit when he returned, fully clothed this time, with a glass of water in hand.

Wordlessly he held it out to you, giving you a small nod as you thanked him before sitting down against the wall next to you, letting the silence hang in the air for a moment, probably curious to see if you wanted to be the first to break it.

“You had a mission tonight right?” he asked almost hesitantly “your first solo”

You sighed deeply, pulling your knees tighter into your chest as you leaned your head back against the wall, knowing you came here to have this conversation but still somewhat hoping to avoid it “yeah”

“I’m guessing it went well then”

And despite everything you heard yourself chuckle at that. “you could say that”

And again silence fell, Anakin not wanting to push the subject too far, you not wanting to be the first to broach it.

“Your plan was good though” He spoke up again surprising you “go in through the tunnels, I liked that”

“No you didn’t?” A laugh bubbled in your chest as you countered with a raised brow “you fought hard for the free climb in meeting with the council”

“I just wanted to know that you had considered other options” he shrugged nonchalantly as if it were obvious, peeking through the corner of his eyes to catch your confused expression “You tend to get fixated on a solution you know? Even if it is a good plan you get so fixated on making it perfect sometimes you never consider anything else which can be limiting”

At some point in his rambles you had turned your head more fully to look at him, eyebrows drawn in confusion as he started to speak faster and faster, words all but spilling out of him almost awkwardly, the most un-Anakin like thing you had ever seen him do.

“How do you-“

He cut off your question with a shrug, for the first time turning his head to meet your gaze, speaking lowly and softly “I pay attention”

You felt yourself grow almost embarrassed under his gaze, watching as his eyes skimmed briefly over your features, a weird level of intimacy you had never received from him before.

“Well for the record it worked” you tried to break the tension, breaking eye contact to look back out at the room “that door ended up being our exit strategy when things went bad”

“See, should listen to me more often” he joked with a smug smile, turning his gaze to match yours, feeling his shoulder softly brush against yours as he resituated.

A chuckle more resembling a few quick breaths escaped you as the corners of your mouth tipped up as you felt yourself relax a little further, leaning further back against the wall. “If it was all to help me then why were you like that in the meeting?” you asked him, voice growing quiet once again, looking at him through the side of your eyes.

At this Anakin let out a sigh, a hand coming up to run anxiously through his hair. “I do that a lot don’t I?”

“I just don’t get it” you shook your head in response “did I do something?”

“No” Anakin was quick to assure you in an almost sad voice “No you didn’t do anything, least not intentionally”

You let the silence after his answer hang in the air, waiting for him to continue, giving him a second to collect his thoughts.

“You know the jedi council didn’t want to train me when I first came to the temple?” Everyone of course knew this but it was a rhetorical question anyways, he wasn’t expecting an answer “Qui-gon had to argue with them, promise to take me in himself before they allowed it.” He paused for a second, you could hear a shaky breath being drawn before he continued “since then it’s felt like I have this intense amount of pressure on me to live up to being the chosen one, to bring balance to the force, and yet the jedi council, the very people I’m supposed to look up to, never seemed to trust that I could do it, no matter what I did. Then I met you” a humorless chuckle escaped him at those last words with a small shake of his head “and it was like you were everything I wanted to be effortlessly”

Your eyebrows were drawn together again at his words, unable to fathom how anyone could think anything you did was effortless, anything you did was good.

“You had the praise of every teacher, the jedi council practically eating out of your hand so excited to see where you would go” he trailed off, eyes scanning the room rapidly as if physically looking for his next words “I was jealous”

And at his words you couldn’t help but let your own humorless chuckle escape, Anakin’s head snapping in your direction at the sound, eyes slightly narrowed trying to see if you were making fun of him or not.

“You know what realization I came to tonight” you asked him, refusing to make eye contact as you spoke almost bitterly “I realized that you are my closest friend. Ever since I met you we have done nothing but fight with one another when forced to interact and yet when I needed someone to be there for me tonight you were the only name I could think of”

Anakin didn’t comment, leaning softly into your side instead as if to say that despite everything he was there for you, you gave him a playful small bump with your own arm in response before continuing.

“I’ve spent every second of my life here doing everything I could to be a good jedi. Training, studying, meditating, I’ve completely isolated myself and for what? A half dead clone army under my command?” You shook your head with a sigh, your head lightly bumping against the wall as you leaned back against it “In my head I was always jealous of you. You were the chosen one, you had the councils undivided attention, and everyone knew you were going to go on to do big things regardless of how hard you tried. It felt like I was playing catchup to what you came by naturally”

“Believe me it’s not their attention you want when they’re all convinced you’re going to turn to the dark side at any minute” he responded sadly making you shake your head slowly.

“It’s not just that” you sighed with a small chuckle “You’re respected almost universally ya know? It’s not just that the whole room pauses when you walk in its that the meeting doesn’t even start until you do. You pitch an idea and the whole room quiets to listen. You say you’re just going to wing it instead of coming up with a plan and there isn’t a single objection. Whether or not anyone thinks you could turn to the dark side one day I can tell you right now you’ve earned the Jedi order’s respect”

He was silent for a moment, turning your words over in his head, before speaking “Looks like someone else pays attention” and you could hear the smile in his voice.

Your own grew on your face as you felt your cheeks heat slightly, rolling your eyes dramatically though you knew he wasn’t looking to see it “I can at least say this, despite your best efforts you have my respect”

“You know” you could hear the smile in his voice again, a small chuckle rumbling in his chest as he spoke “I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me”

Without even thinking you swung your arm around to hit him in the bicep, no where near hard enough to hurt though he still jumped back with a laugh “shut up and take the compliment Skywalker.”

He rubbed his arm dramatically as his laughter started to die down, the dark room once again falling into silence though this one was significantly more comfortable than before.

“Whole point of what I’m trying to say though is that I think you’re an amazing Jedi” he continued softly, leaning back again with the side of his arm completely flush with your own “and eventhough I don’t know what happened with your mission tonight I know it wasn’t your fault”

You felt the lump grow in your throat again at the reminder, a soft shake of your head all you could do to try and keep it under control “but how could you know that?”

“I saw your plan” he shrugged casually “it was rock solid, but mostly because I know you. I know you spent 10 hours yesterday in the library researching. I know that even if you can get fixated on your own plan you’re good at thinking on your feet when things go wrong. And I know if anyone’s life around you is in danger you’re fighting like hell to protect him”

And despite everything that you had running through your head tonight you found yourself nodding along. Because even though a part of you was still sure there was more you could’ve done realistically you knew you had done all you could under the circumstances. That sometimes things happen that are out of your control, but you still managed to keep most of them alive, that had to count for something. “Thanks Anakin. I think I really needed to hear that”

“I meant every word” he assured you with a soft smile and a small affectionate nudge “And for the record f I were ever captured and held hostage I would say I want you to come rescue me but I’m worried Obi-wan would get jealous”

And at that you laughed loudly, letting your head fall back naturally, feeling lighter than you had all night “Nah I understand, we got to make sure he still feels important in his old age”

He chuckled back with a nod “exactly you get it”

Slowly you released your knees from your chest, letting them lengthen out in front of you no longer feeling the need to ball up and make yourself small, giving Anakin’s room one final look before swearing softly under your breath “shit it’s super late isn’t it I’m sorry for keeping you up”

Anakin quickly shook his head and waved you off with a small smile “no don’t worry about it, I’m glad we could talk. Do you want to stay here? You could have the bed and I could sleep out here”

You smiled but returned with a similar shake of your head, pushing yourself off the ground up to your feet “no that’s okay I’ll go back to my own room”

Anakin stood up and followed you to the door, pausing within the doorway as you exited out into the hallway “Well if you ever need to talk or anything, or just want to hang out…” he let the end of his sentence hang in the air, not quite sure how to finish it though that was hardly important, you were already nodding appreciatively.

“Same goes for you, talk or need to hide from the council let me know”

He chuckled back, leaning casually against the door frame as you started off down the hallway calling out after you before you got too far “goodnight Y/N”

You spun around to face him as you continued to walk, giving him a small wave “goodnight Ani”

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