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wroteasongabouther · 3 years

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can’t stand to see you lonely: part 2

a/n: thank you all so so sooooo much for the love on the first part of cstsyl ❤️ i hope you guys like part 2 just as much, and please reblog/leave me any feedback if you can as if really just makes me smile and helps with the engagement and blah blah blah u know the drill lol

and thank you to the lovely jill @havethetimeofyourstyles, jess @arrogantstyles and wendy @bookwormandtea for beta reading for me!

word count: 15k

warnings: mentions of death, couples fighting, awkward silence in elevators, and addicting candy cane pretzels.

fic page // let’s chat! // cstsyl playlist

They were fighting again. Y/N’s voice was booming through the walls, her boyfriend’s echoing after hers. Harry tries his best to focus on anything but their voices, but he can’t. It doesn’t make him feel all that great listening to the girl he had only seen smile and had been making laugh over the past two weeks, now yelling on the other side of the wall between them.

Harry plucks a soft melody on his guitar as he lounges on his couch. His hands absentmindedly playing the four chords that have been stuck in his head all morning while he attempts to write lyrics to the melody. Only, he was having a bit of trouble doing so as he listened to Y/N’s voice again.

“Honestly, Mark! Really?” Y/N’s shouting is muffled, but Harry hears her still. “You really think that it doesn’t bother…” The rest of her words are a bit harder to hear as she quiets her voice. Harry never imagined he’d hear her raise her voice like that. That soft, sweet and gentle tone that he has spent dreaming about for weeks now.

Harry’s still plucking the chords he’s grown obsessed with, humming along while zoning out on the blank tv in front of him. He feels selfish, and rather ridiculous too, not wanting to imagine Y/N with another man. But he also feels selfish that he’s not upset over the fact they’re fighting for the third time in two days. Harry shakes his head and scolds himself for the thought. Regardless of his feelings, he shouldn't want Y/N to feel this way. He can tell these couple days must’ve been hard on her, working all day and then coming home to only end up in a yelling match with her prick of a boyfriend.

Harry rolls his eyes and notices that the shouting has stopped. The silence of his apartment, aside from his guitar, only makes him feel a bit sadder.

“I’m selfish, I know,” Harry sings, “but I don’t ever want to see you with him.”

Suddenly, his phone chimes from where it’s sat on the table, signalling an incoming phone call from Mitch. A picture of the two of them together in the studio last spring shows on the screen, Mitch tucked under Harry’s arm as they’re both slouching into the couch they sat on. Harry reaches for his phone and swipes his finger across the screen to accept his call.

“Hey,” Harry mutters into the phone, focusing on getting together his notebook and cleaning up the few torn crumpled pieces of paper littering his coffee table.

“Hey, you leaving your place soon?” Mitch asks. Harry can hear traffic in the background, meaning that he had already left his place that's located much closer to the studio than his own apartment is. Moving his shoulder up a little, he holds his phone between his ear and shoulder in order to use both hands as he sets his guitar into the open case that’s sitting on the chaise lounge of his couch. Then scrambling around to gather the scrap paper and glass of water he had, standing up with his trash in hand to throw away and glass in the other to put in the sink.

“Just about to,” Harry answers honestly, making his way into his kitchen to clean up. He sighs after clearing his hands and returns his phone to his left hand to hold now.

“You get busy with that neighbour of yours again. Got a new crush, H?” Mitch teases him. Rolling his eyes, Harry brushes a hand on his light wash jeans before patting his pocket to make sure his thin wallet was still there.

“No,” he mutters, obviously lying to his best mate - which Mitch is very aware of as he hums in response. “I’ll be there in, like, 20 if the tube isn’t a horror show.”

“You’ve lived here for nearly 3 years now, think you can call it the subway yet?”

“Nope,” Harry sighs. There were a few things his British instincts kicked in for; many different phrases and words he knew would stick in his vocabulary despite how many years he’s been in the U.S. Harry’s grabbing his green winter coat and slipping on his boots as he holds the phone between his shoulder and ear again. “Should I grab the gang some coffee on my way? Seeing as I’ll probably be the last to arrive,” Harry says in a tight voice, his annoyance from hearing Y/N and her boyfriend still clear even in his phone call with his mate.

“Don’t count on it. Tom hasn't answered his phone all morning, so something tells me he’s preoccupied,” Mitch suggests. Harry recalls the text he had gotten from his friend Tom, saying that he and the Missus were planning to celebrate their anniversary early this year. Mitch seems to be hinting that their celebrations have fallen into the morning too. Harry bets that Tom being MIA was because of his two children. The two of them knew how to gang up on their dad already at a young age—he couldn't imagine how they’d be when they grew up.

“He’s a dad, Mitch, that's probably what he’s preoccupied with,” Harry states. After putting on his coat, he walks over to clasp the case for his guitar closed and heaves it up before heading for the door.

“Point being, don’t bother with coffee. I’m in line at Starbucks anyways. Did you want anything?” Mitch asks.

“A slice or two of the banana loaf, please,” Harry requests, his stomach growling at the thought of food. Time had slipped by him this morning, listening to Y/N and her boyfriend argue, and he hadn’t eaten more than an apple for breakfast.

Harry double checks the lights are off in his apartment before shutting the door behind him, setting his guitar down to rest on the wall to his left, and locking it quickly. Mitch is complaining in his ear about some Karen at the front of the line. Harry chuckles at his friends colourful words and picks up his guitar, not sparing a glance at Y/N’s door as he walks to the elevator and hits the down button to call it to his floor. Not even a ten seconds go by and he hears someone exiting their apartment behind him. Harry doesn’t want to look over his shoulder to check, not wanting to see Mark and Y/N walking hand in hand towards him. So, he keeps his eyes trained up on the red numbers rising above the elevator doors, signalling it’s arrival, soon hopefully.

“Hey, Harry right?” Mark questions, pointing a finger at Harry as him and Y/N stepped up to the elevator. Y/N tries her best not to frown. She hates the way Harry doesn’t smile at her first before meeting Mark’s eyes and nodding.

“Hey,” Harry says. He turns his head and catches Y/N’s gaze. “What are you guys up to?”

Y/N knows he’s simply being polite, something Mark wouldn’t care to be - seeing as he’s already got his phone out of his pocket, and is staring at the screen as he answers. “Y/N’s driving me to the airport,” he states.

Harry looks at Mark, anger bubbling inside of him as he clutches the guitar case in his hand. The elevator doors open then, a light bing! coming from inside. Mark enters first, not even bothering to look at Y/N or Harry, but then Harry waves his free hand in motion to let Y/N walk in before him. She smiles and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear as she walks into the small space and stands beside Mark.

“Thanks,” she says in a soft voice as Harry hits the button for the lobby. She takes note of the guitar case in his hand. “Are you heading to the studio?” She asks, pointing to the bulky item he’s carrying.

Harry looks down at his guitar case, “yeah, last day before everyone gets their break.”

“No more counting down the days then, huh?” She asks, mentioning their previous discussion about how people typically countdown the days till they have time off - her included this year. But Harry had mentioned that he wasn’t looking forward to his days away from the studio. He didn’t think she’d remember that.

“Counting the days till I’m back in the studio now,” Harry says. Y/N smiles and Harry’s heart bursts at the sight. Having heard her raised voice earlier today, being sure a scowl was etched on her face, he was glad to see her lips turned upward. Mark clears his throat then, causing both Y/N and Harry to quit looking into each other's eyes and step back into reality - her boyfriend was right beside them.

“Studio? What are you, a singer or something?” Mark asks Harry. His eyes catch sight of Mark’s arm snaking around Y/N’s back, resting lazily on her left hip as they stood there. Harry licked his lips and almost nodded, but was quick to catch himself and shook his head instead. “What kind of studio then? Movies?” Mark continues to question him.

“A music studio, I’m just a musician,” Harry answers.

“Oh,” Mark says, “cool,” he adds with a shrug. The elevator doors open and Mark guides him and Y/N out of the small space. “Well, see ya around, ‘Arry,” Mark says with a smug look, trying to mimic his accent. But he butchers it, of course, sounding more like Hagrid from Harry Potter. Mark then waves and turns himself and Y/N to the right of the lobby that leads to the stairwell that went down to the underground parking lot.

Y/N only gets to give Harry a quick smile before Mark turns her away. She wants to apologize for Mark’s ridiculous behaviour, feeling embarrassed by it. She also wanted to say that Harry wasn't just a musician, he was a songwriter too, which therefore meant he was a storyteller, and in her eyes songwriters were some of the most creative and talented people. Y/N wanted to shut Mark up and start bragging about Harry, like he was her boyfriend and Mark was just some dumb prick.

Y/N rolls her lips into her mouth and licks them, glancing quickly over her shoulder before getting to the door. Her eyes meet Harry’s intense stare, him looking over his shoulder at her too, and her stomach erupts with butterflies. But then it flips and flops with nerves and her hands suddenly being tugged on by her boyfriend, holding open the door with his hip as he walks them through the doorway and out of Harry’s sight.

Harry finds himself thinking about Y/N the whole way to the studio—as if he hasn’t stopped thinking about her and her boyfriend over the past couple days anyways. Did she ever mention being in a relationship, even in the most subtle way? Did he misinterpret her kindness for flirting like an absolute idiot? These questions were on a loop inside of his head until he walked into the studio, flashed the front desk his ID badge, and headed to studio B where he and his mates would be working today.

“And he’s made it,” Mitch announces as Harry pushes closed the door and walks the few steps to his left where the brown leather couch was against the wall. Adam is sitting on the couch, the phone in his hand chimes as he types on it quickly, merely giving Harry a quick smile before looking back at the screen. Mitch is standing by the switch board, leaning back against it as he stares Harry down. Next to him is Tom, sitting in his chair and facing his many computer screens as he gets everything up and going for the day.

“And I see we were both wrong and Tom beat me,” Harry states. He sets his guitar down, leaning it against the side of the couch before sitting himself down beside Adam.

“I wasn’t answering my phone because I was already on my way over here way before any of you slowpokes, and then I turned off my ringer once I got in here,” Tom explains, leaning back in his chair while his eyes stay on the screen. But then he twirls around, facing Harry and Adam, and gives Adam a bored look. “Like we all agreed to do, right Adam?”

“Relax, I’ll do it after I send this last text,” Adam says.

“Sure,” Tom mutters, swivelling his chair back around and grabbing the mouse to continue his set up.

“Jeez, Tommy,” Mitch chuckles, “did you not get any last night or something? What’s got your panties in a knot?”

Harry’s eyebrows pull down as he takes in his friends stiff posture as Mitch’s words seem to sink in. “Wasn’t it your anniversary date last night?” He questions, keeping his voice light and not as daunting as Mitch’s had been.

Tom turns back around to face the boys and makes a big show of rolling his eyes. “Yeah, it was supposed to be, but then our babysitter called and was all freaked out and of course Jenny got all freaked out too. I tried to tell her it wasn’t that big of a deal and they could handle it, but we still ended up leaving our hotel room at nine o’clock and dealt with our two crying children who just missed their mommy. I was in bed by eleven.” Tom explains his night, ending with rubbing a hand up and down his face as he was clearly annoyed by the whole situation.

“That’s just life as a parent, man,” Adam states. “Emi and I didn’t have a single date night till Spike was five,” he adds with a shrug.

“Yeah, I get it but it’s just upsetting to have this whole night planned and then it not happen,” Tom says. Harry knew that feeling; he may have not had a full anniversary night away planned like Tom did, but the other day he was racking up things to do with Y/N before he was introduced to her boyfriend.

Harry zones out, eyes glued on the coffee table in front of him as he sighs softly, leaning back into the couch as he was getting wrapped up in his thought of Y/N, again. I could still be her friend, he thinks. Even though it’d hurt to see her with her boyfriend, to hear about a date night or see them kiss. The ache already begins in Harry’s chest as the mere thought of it, and he finds himself bringing a hand up and rubbing over his heart subconsciously.

“Harry,” Mitch calls, forcing Harry to snap out of his thoughts and look up at where he stood. He raises his eyebrows, making Harry think that he had said his name more than once but was ignored.

“What’s going on?” Tom asks Harry.

“He’s probably thinking about his latest little crush,” Mitch smirks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Who is it this time?” Adam asks in a monotone voice.

“His new neighbour. Supposedly, she’s rather beautiful in Harry’s eyes,” Mitch teases.

“Not just in my eyes,” Harry mumbles, looking at his lap and picking off an invisible piece of lint.

“What do you mean?” Tom questions.

Harry hears Tom’s chair squeak suddenly, making Harry assume that he must be leaning back in it again. Harry looks up to see he’s right - Tom’s got his arms crossed at his chest like Mitch while they’re both staring him down. Harry lets out a sigh and shakes his head, leaning further into the back of the couch while he licks his lips and looks anywhere but at his friends’ faces - not wanting to see their taunting looks when he tells them.

“She’s got a boyfriend,” Harry says in a low voice.

Mitch inhales a sharp breath, hissing through his teeth as he walks over and clamps a hand down on Harry’s shoulder. “That’s tough man,” he says.

Harry shakes his head again and sits up, causing Mitch’s hand to fall off his shoulder. “It’s not just tough. I get I have these crushes on people a lot, but I don’t know, there was just something different between us. We really clicked and I just thought we’d at least get to go out a few times,” he speaks softly into the quiet room,the support of some of his closest mates surrounding him.

“Have you written about how you’re feeling?” Tom asks. Harry nods and reaches for his guitar without a second thought, taking it out of the case and positioning the instrument in his lap.

“This is gonna be good,” Mitch nods his head and rolls over the second chair that occupied the room. Harry shakes his head at his friends comment.

“I’ve just had this tune in my head for a couple days now, and I’ve only come up with a few lyrics really, so I don’t know how good it will be,” he explains.

Harry plays the song he’s been playing all morning for the other three in the room. The soft acoustic guitar fills the silence, the twang from his guitar strings echoing off the walls. Harry shuts his eyes and lets his voice build up as he sings the two lines he’s been thinking about for a few days now. He feels it deep in his chest, the truth behind his words. Suddenly, more lyrics filter out of his mouth that hadn’t come up before.

“I’m selfish I know,” he sings, “I’d tell you but I know you’d never listen.”

It’s not entirely the truth, because he’s sure that Y/N would listen to anything he had to say. He’s also sure that if he walked up to her right now, ran out of this studio and back to the apartment and waited outside her door, begging for her to break up with him, that she wouldn’t listen. Harry believes that she’s a better person than that - that regardless if she felt what he had over their past few encounters, she wouldn’t listen to what he wanted and would figure things out herself.

“I hope you can see, the shape that I’m in,” Tom suddenly sings along to the tune that Harry’s still playing. Harry opens his eyes in a flash and looks at his friend, but Tom’s back is already to him as he’s facing his computer again. “I have the perfect piano and drums mix for this. I’ve had it kind of hidden away for the right time and I think this is it.”

And that’s when the magic happens. Harry puts down his guitar and gets right into the lyrics, pouring himself into yet another song. He lets his feelings out about the situation he’s gotten himself into with Y/N, and mixes it with some poetry he’s written previously in his journal. You flower, you feast, is something he’s had for quite some time but had never felt it really fit into any of his other songs. And yet somehow in this song full of duck noises, a guitar solo, and many lalalala’s, it somehow found its place.

Not to mention that Mitch absolutely murders the guitar solo. His long hair acts as a curtain as he sways to the music and lets himself go. Nearly every time that Mitch goes in for a solo, he doesn’t remember what he plays because he’s in such a trance, so Tom has to play it back for him if he needs to fix anything up. Overall, the song inspired by Y/N and her shit boyfriend is pretty great.

“Anything else you’ve got to bring to the table, Harry?” Tom asks after nearly six hours of working on perfecting their new song ‘Woman’ - named solely because of the repeating of the word in the course, which was chosen because he felt like he was calling out to Y/N in this song. Saying woman over and over again at her in hopes to get her attention. He simply shrugs and stretches back into the couch, sprawling his legs out in front of him while staring down at his journal that’s sitting in his lap.

“I’ve been writing this one based off a man I see everyday during my breakfast at the cafe down the street from my apartment,” he says. Harry clears his throat and sort of talk-sings what his idea of the melody is with the lyrics he’s got. “Nine in the morning, man drops his kids off at school. And he’s thinking of you, like all of us do. Sends his assistant for coffee in the afternoon, around one thirty two.”

“Alright, I like it,” Adam nods his head.

“Who’s he thinking of?” Mitch teases, “like all of us do,” he adds with a smirk. His lips then wrap around the straw that was in the can of Pepsi he had gotten from the mini fridge a while ago. Harry rolls his eyes and kicks out his foot in order to nudge Mitch’s leg from where he’s sitting in the desk chair he’s gotten comfortable in.

“Shut up,” Harry grumbles. Adam, Mitch and Tom all chuckle at their friend’s pout, which just makes him smile. He knew that coming into the studio and writing and making music about his situation with Y/N would ultimately make it feel even a little bit better. During the making of their newest song, his friends did give him some advice.

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll work out, H,” Adam had said with a smile.

But there’s no way of knowing how he’ll feel when he bumps into her again, whether she’s with her boyfriend or not.

It’s been a tough few days for Y/N. Not only has work been crazy because not one, but two interns got sick with a stomach bug; meaning she was currently filling their job on top of her own and running around the city - but she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Harry.

She is in her own head again as she walks into the Gucci store on Fifth Ave. for the third time in two days. As Greg approaches her, she appreciates his light pink suit with a white ruffled shirt underneath. His bald head shines under the lights of the store, but that smile was much brighter and obviously, professionally whiten. Greg gives her a kiss on the cheek, saying they are a bit behind with her packages since it’s such a busy time for them as well. Y/N just nods and gives him a smile, accepting the flute of champagne as she takes a seat and waits. This is honestly the first time she’s gotten a chance to sit all day, but of course, she spends it zoning out on a sparkly dress hung up a few feet away from her as her mind begins to think of anything but work.

Mark and her started dating only a mere four months ago. After meeting at a bar in the Upper East Side, he practically stalked her - which isn't too hard considering her social media following - and sent her flowers to work for three days straight till she agreed to go on a date with him. Turned out that he wasn’t just some business man out on the town with some work buddies, but an heir to one of the country's biggest companies. Therefore, meaning that when the gossip started of the two of them seeing each other, Y/N’s mom was the first person to call.

“You hit the jackpot, baby!” She basically screamed into Y/N’s ear.

Y/N only rolled her eyes at her mothers words. Her mother was the typical New Jersey girl that grew up with big dreams of pinning down a wealthy New York City man - and kudos to her for doing it. Her dad, bless his heart, was an older naive man who somehow managed to fertilize her mother’s gold digging eggs and voila, Y/N was born. But with that being said, Y/N was lucky enough to have family money, so she never felt the need to be in a relationship just because a man had more in his bank account. She also had better morals than her mother, and knew that money wasn’t a factor when you really loved someone. So no, Mark was not the jackpot because of his bank account. Y/N just thought he was really nice and attractive too, so she agreed to be his girlfriend those four months ago. But it wasn’t till a month ago that that nice streak ended.

All of a sudden Y/N’s cell phone is ringing. She blinks out of her daze to realize she’s finished her glass of champagne while so deep in thought. Pulling out her phone, she looks at the screen to see it’s Mark calling. His ears must be burning, Y/N thinks.

“Hey,” Y/N answers softly, crossing a leg over the other and resting her elbow on her knee as she holds the phone to her ear.

“Hey, babe,” Mark sighs. Y/N knows right away what he’s about to tell her, all by the tone of his voice and the use of that nickname. He used it when he asked her to drive him to the airport yesterday, which he forgot to mention he needed her to do till an hour before he had to leave - resulting in Y/N being very behind on work for the day.

“How’s Arizona?” Y/N asks politely anyway, mentioning the state he was in for business this time around. He was always traveling for work; his father wants him to know all the branch executives, so therefore he’s been to pretty much every state in the country over the course of six months. The moment they started to date Y/N knew he’d be working a lot, but she didn’t expect him to be working all over the country. She’s lucky if she gets a weekend with him, and honestly, she was looking forward to the almost two weeks work free they’d be getting together. But something told her that was not going to happen.

“It’s good, hot,” he says, seeming distracted by something in the background to which he moves the phone away from his mouth to respond to someone around him. “No, no, not those, the red ones,” he orders.

“Mark?” Y/N questions, keeping her voice down as Greg and one of his associates come from the backroom then with a few boxes in hand. “I’m just a bit busy with work, was there a reason for you calling, hun?”

“Right…Well, unfortunately my time at the Arizona office will be extended. So, I’m not going to make it back to New York before Christmas,” Mark explains. Y/N frowns at his words even though it’s just as she imagined when she answered his call.

“When will you be back?” She asks, her eyebrows pulled together and lip pouting out slightly.

“That’s the thing, there’s really no point in me flying back to the East Coast so close to the holidays when I’ve got to be in Los Angeles for my family’s big festivities.”

“Oh,” Y/N says. She’s only sad for a moment, noticing that Mark is distracted by something in the background once again as his voice is muffled. “So when exactly are you planning to come back to the city, Mark?” She asks as she sits up and projects her voice louder into her phone. Greg and his associate seem to notice Y/N demeanour change, his baby blue eyes widening slightly as he sets the boxes down on the couch beside her.

“I don’t know-”

Y/N doesn’t let him speak, though, her anger getting the best of her for what feels like the millionth time since she began dating Mark. It’s so unlike her, she thinks. She shakes her head and says, “you don’t plan to come back to New York and spend any part of the holidays with your girlfriend? Your girlfriend who very much loves the holidays, by the way.”

“I’m aware of your love for the holidays, Y/N, little hard to not know when your apartment looks like a four year old decorated it with all that crap,” Mark huffs into the phone, his voice matching her tone.

“Oh my god, whatever, Mark,” Y/N snaps in a low voice, having to take a deep breath as she stares down at the floor. “Just go and have fun on the West Coast, don’t worry one bit about me ‘cause it seems you haven’t bothered to to begin with,” Y/N finds herself seething into the phone, keeping her voice low before pulling her phone away from her ear and hanging up before he can say one more thing to upset her.

She shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath. Focusing on making her heart beat slow down and her hands to stop shaking. Did she just break up with him? No, no I didn’t say the words, I didn’t say it’s over and maybe I should have, Y/N thinks while letting out another short breath through her nose. She did not deserve this and she knew she didn’t, and yet she keeps putting up with his extended work trips and him disrespecting her opinions. Mark wanted a woman like Y/N’s mother. One that didn’t have her own hobbies and her own dreams, and who just wanted to be on his arm and live with whatever he put them through. Or did she even give him a real chance? That little voice in the back of her head, the one that was planted by her own mother, asks her.

“You look like you need another glass, mi amor,” Greg says softly, bringing her to open her eyes once more and realize that she did in fact just have a fight with her boyfriend over the phone in public. In front of a supplier too. Her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. Thankfully, she thought of Greg as more of a friend than in a professional view. She smiles at him, forcing it, while he holds up the bottle of champagne and fills her glass.

“Thank you,” she says quietly.

“You’re welcome,” he nods, turning to his left to grab the second tall glass and fills it as well. Y/N chuckles as he brings it to his own mouth and has a sip. “What? The holidays are stressful, I deserve a glass too every once in a while.” Y/N only laughs again and raises her flute, Greg lifts his own to cheers her before they both take a sip. “Did you want to talk about it?” He asks after a beat of silence.

Y/N licks her lips, tasting the expensive champagne all over again. “It’s just,” Y/N sighs and runs a hand through her hair before she continues, “I thought that Mark was different when I first met him. He sent flowers to my work and took me to nice restaurants. He seemed to be really into me, and now, he’s really into his work and he thinks my love for the holidays is childish, and that my opinions and my time don’t matter. So, I’m starting to think I jumped into this relationship, maybe a bit too fast all because my mom approved of his last name and Sammy thought he was hot.” Y/N rants in a rush of words, bringing her flute to her lips afterwards for another sip.

Greg doesn’t respond right away, instead he too sips his champagne and looks around the room they sat in. He sighs and brings a hand down on Y/N’s thigh, causing her to look at him. He smiles and gives her a comforting pat.

“You are a young woman in New York City who’s really got her shit together, you know your worth, Y/N,” Greg says. Y/N mirrors his smile, feeling the back of her eyes threaten with tears at his sweet words. “You’ll know what to do about this man,” he adds with a wink. Greg removes his hand and lifts his flute to finish off his champagne. “Plus, men are trash anyways,” he mutters as his eyes wander around the room that’s quickly filling up with customers.

Y/N laughs, “yes, Greg, they can be.” She agrees. But there’s one man that comes to her mind. One with enchanting green eyes, beautiful dimples, a contagious laugh, and a certain swoon worthy accent.

And yet, Y/N is not surprised when her thoughts drift off to Harry again. In fact, she thinks about him the entire way back to her office, the few boxes from Greg in her arms as she travels on the subway and walks carefully on the slushy shovelled snow that covers the sidewalks. What is he up to today? She thinks, knowing that he must’ve gotten home from the studio late yesterday - maybe even this morning. She worked late on emails last night, only having her Christmas playlist playing softly from her TV, and she didn’t hear him get home. She wonders if he sleeps in when he does that, or if he still manages to get up early and do whatever it is he does every day. She doesn’t know his daily routine, but she admits to herself that she’s curious.

Having done the errands that were needed for the day, Y/N ends up sitting at her desk for the remaining three hours of her work day. Her and Amanda go over new interns to hire, seeing as Y/N’s boss doesn’t want her away from the office doing intern work forever. And then she and Sammy are walking out of the building together at five o’clock sharp. They endured yet another eleven hour work day today. And this was one of the easiest days this week, since it was spent shopping around and organizing the office. Tomorrow there would be two A-list clients coming in for their last styling of the year, both finalizing their outfits for the upcoming Grammy awards too.

“You seem off today,” Sammy says as they walk down the stairs to the subway.

“I, um,” Y/N licks her lips and narrows her eyes at the screen that reads when the next stop would be. She looks at her friend and sighs. “I got into a fight with Mark earlier,” she states.

“Another one?” Sammy questions, raising a brow and giving her a look that said ‘really?’.

“Yup,” Y/N says, rolling her lips into her mouth and nodding. “He’s too busy with work to come back to the city for the rest of the month, said he doesn’t see the point in coming back even for a day before he has to go back home to the West Coast. So, I ended up yelling at him in the middle of the Gucci store.”

“Are you for real?” Sammy asks in shock, his eyes widening as Y/N explains what her boyfriend had told her earlier.

“Yup,” she repeats, nodding her head again too. “Oh, and he said my apartment looked like a four year old decorated it and it looked like crap,” Y/N chuckles, realizing now how stupid Mark’s fighting words were.

“Y/N,” Sammy sighs, “dump him,” he says while placing a hand on her shoulder and giving her a sympathetic smile. “I get that you wanted to give this guy a chance, but all you guys ever do is fight and I don’t want to say it but I’m going to,” he sighs again dramatically, “I’ve seen you smile over that new neighbour of yours more than Mark in the past few weeks. That’s a sign.”

“But what if I didn’t give Mark a real chance? And what if I’m just playing Harry up in my head-”

“No, none of that,” Sammy shakes his head and stares deep into Y/N’s eyes. “You are the most polite and sweetest person I’ve ever met. There’s no way in hell you didn’t give Mark a chance, hell you gave him a million chances, let’s face it. And as for Harry, you’ll never know unless you get to know him.”

Y/N rolls her eyes as Sammy drops his hand and tilts his head to the side. She notices the platform getting busier and louder then, as the subway makes way towards them from the North. This was her ride, while Sammy had to wait another ten minutes for the one that went to Brooklyn. Y/N thinks about what Sammy had said. Maybe she did give Mark plenty of chances and maybe their time was up, but that doesn’t mean she feels comfortable jumping right back into the game of dating with Harry. Plus, how bad would that make her look. Harry would probably think she didn’t care about relationships and typically shuffled around boys, which was so far from her case. In fact it was why she was so hesitant to date Mark in the first place - she didn’t like to give her time and love to just anyone. It’s just too bad she didn’t realize that Mark wasn’t worth it sooner.

“If I’m just getting out of this relationship with Mark, I can’t just start dating Harry,” Y/N exclaims to Sammy.

“I didn’t say date him right away, I said get to know him,” Sammy states, “hang out, be his friend, and if things happen then they happen. The world works in funny ways,” Sammy says matter of factly, pointing a finger at her while she starts taking a few steps towards the subway that’s coming to a stop. “We’ll talk later! Dump the fucking guy though!” Sammy shouts as Y/N just shakes her head and rolls her eyes while getting into the mass of people cramming on the subway.

“Yeah, dump the son of a bitch,” a croaky voice startles Y/N as she gets through the door. An elderly woman is smiling back at her, her yellow teeth contrasting against her dark skin as she smiles wickedly at Y/N. She chuckles awkwardly and nods, walking across the space to an open seat.

Opening her purse, she finds her Airpods and puts them into her ears. They connect to her phone automatically and she begins to tap on her phone, deciding on which playlist she wants to listen to on her way home. Once she clicks shuffle on her ‘girl freaking power’ playlist, she turns it all the way up and lets the anger in Halsey’s voice fuel her own anger towards her shit boyfriend. She thinks of their fights that have happened recently the whole ride on the subway, then she thinks if it’d be too cruel of her to break up with him over the phone as she walks the few blocks to her apartment building. If he broke up with me over the phone I’d be a little upset, Y/N thinks with a frown as she walks across the lobby to the elevator.

Y/N, who was so in her own world with her music still turned up all the way as a new song by Olivia O’Brien, doesn’t even realize when Harry walks up beside her. He can hear her music blasting through her earphones. He leans forwards a bit, hoping to get in her line of sight. But she is still focused on the elevator doors, nodding her head to whatever song she’s got playing. Harry’s lips tug up into a smile. When he first saw her standing there when he entered the building he got a little nervous, unsure how this interaction between them would go. Should he apologize right away for not knowing she had a boyfriend and asking her for dinner?

“Hello?” Harry sings. “Y/N?” He calls in a normal voice. This time she seems to notice that someone is beside her. She jumps slightly, placing a hand over her heart and reaches up with the other to take out an Airpod which causes her music to stop completely.

“You scared me,” she breathes out.

“Sorry,” Harry says, giving her a timid smile. “I tried getting your attention a few times, it must be a good song.”

She looks down at the earphone in her hand and nods, “uh, yeah, just really into empowering female music today.” She states.

Harry hums and nods, then the elevator opens, revealing a few people inside which causes Y/N to step towards him as they move out of the way. If he hadn’t taken a step back fast enough she'd practically be right up against him. He breathes in and smells her perfume, the intoxicating scent of rose filling his nostrils with her being so close. Y/N gives a quick ‘you’re welcome’ to the people who step out as they thank them for moving before they both step into the elevator together. Harry was too busy thinking about how close Y/N had been to step up and hit the number six button before he could. He gives her a smile in thanks.

The elevator begins to ascend as the space falls into silence between them. They’re both overthinking. What should I say? Is what is on both their minds as they pass the first floor, and then the second. Harry lets out a short breath through his nose before leaning his back against the railing.

“I’m sorry for being so clueless,” he states, pausing when Y/N’s head whips up and her eyes meet his. “I didn’t think you’d have a boyfriend and I just didn’t think twice before asking you if you wanted to get dinner,” he says, finally getting the thought off his chest.

Y/N furrows her brows, “and why did you think I wouldn’t have a boyfriend?” She asks, teasing him, but Harry’s face falls and he stands straight once again, bringing both his hands up and waves them in front of himself as if in surrender.

“Not that you’re like not pretty enough for a boyfriend, or nice enough, cause to be quite honest I would be surprised if you didn’t have a boyfriend cause you are like the prettiest girl I’ve ever met and not to mention really nice and super cool too-”

“I was just teasing you, Harry,” Y/N stops him. But his words had caused quite the feeling inside her stomach, butterflies were multiplying like it was nobody's business while she swore she felt her heartbeat in the soles of her feet.

“Oh,” he breathes out, “right. Well, still, I’m sorry.” He casts his eyes down to the floor, feeling his cheeks warm up from embarrassment. The elevator sounds a quiet bing! as the doors open for them on the sixth floor. Harry lifts his eyes to meet Y/N’s once more, motioning with his hand for her to exit first. She smiles and walks out with him right behind her.

Y/N doesn’t say anything till she’s at her apartment door, her key in the lock, and she notices Harry is at his door a few feet away. She sighs and stops twisting the key, letting her shoulder sag as she looks over at Harry.

“I’m sorry too, by the way,” she says. Harry looks up at the sound of her voice, thinking she was simply going to take in her apology and go about her merry life with Mark. He watches her tongue dart out and wet her lips as she leans into her door. “I should have mentioned Mark, even just in a quick comment, but honestly our relationship is sort of new and even a little non-existent at times, it seems, so I guess I was just enjoying making a new friend. I didn’t even think about it,” Y/N explains herself.

Harry takes in her words; that her relationship is new, and non-existent? He wonders what she means by that. But he can’t help but smile at her mentioning that she enjoyed becoming his friend. Harry nods his head and let’s his smile grow wider, knowing his dimples would show.

“I’d like to keep being your friend,” Y/N adds, “if that’s okay?”

“It’s totally okay,” Harry nods. Y/N smiles and nods back.

“Okay,” she says softly.

Harry fits his key into the lock without looking, keeping his eyes on Y/N’s as he notices her cheeks glowing a shade of pink. “How about a movie night? Tomorrow? If you’re not busy, of course,” Harry suggests, twisting his key and unlocking the door.

“I think I’m free. It’ll have to be Christmas themed, of course,” Y/N says, narrowing her eyes as if to challenge Harry to fight her on it - like Mark would.

“Well, yeah,” Harry scoffs, eyebrows pulled together and head shaking in faux disbelief. “Wouldn’t have it any other way during the month of December,” he adds.

Why couldn’t I have moved in like six months ago? Y/N thinks to herself as she smiles at Harry. She finds herself liking him more with every word that comes out of that pretty mouth of his. If only she had met him before she met Mark. Things would be easier, that’s for sure.

The two of them agree on a time for tomorrow, six in the evening, before saying their goodbyes and walking into their homes that were side by side. After Y/N takes off her shoes and coat, she walks towards her bedroom to get changed into some workout clothes for a quick at home video before she ate dinner. Just as she’s changing she hears the muffled sounds of Harry’s guitar - something she’s grown fond of hearing through their shared wall. Maybe she’ll get him to play her something tomorrow, she thinks with a smile.

Y/N makes her way back into her living room and starts up her workout video. She does some jumping jacks to get her warmed up, but honestly, her heart is already pounding in her chest from her interaction with Harry and the plans they have made. Without a doubt she knows she’ll be counting down the hours during her work day tomorrow till six o’clock.

Elf or Polar Express? Both were very different Christmas movies, and they were the two she was torn between taking over to Harry’s. They hadn’t talked about who’s apartment they would hang out in, but as it was ten minutes to six, she hoped to get out the door and knock on his first, in order to get the chance to ask him to play his guitar for her maybe. But that’s not how it’s going to work out because Y/N’s too busy being stuck between two of her favourite movies when suddenly, there’s a knock at her door. She frowns knowing that it’s Harry and wouldn’t get to hear him play guitar, but gets up from where she was sitting crossed legged on the floor to answer the door.

Her fuzzy socks pad across the hardwood floor as she walks to her door, peering through the peephole quickly to double check to see it was Harry. She smiles at the sight of his floppy brown hair and unlocks her door before swinging it open. Harry looks up as she opens the door, meeting her gaze for only a moment before he watches her take in his apparel.

He had thought about it for way too long, what he was to wear to hangout and watch movies with the girl he liked, but ended up staying dressed down as he was all day. Y/N liked how the plain white shirt he wore fit him, only a small brand logo that was over his heart, but she really liked the pastel rainbow coloured sweatpants he wore too. He looks comfy and ready to lay back and relax for a few hours with her. He’s not wearing any shoes though, which makes Y/N furrows her brows for a second.

“I didn’t really see any point in putting on shoes for the few feet out of my apartment,” Harry states quickly to let her know. Y/N nods, chuckling under her breath, but understanding what he means. She steps back and lets him into her home.

Harry takes in the atmosphere of Y/N’s apartment for the second time now. The glow from her many Christmas lights makes him feel warm inside, and her Christmas tree was the focal point of it all. He likes the odd ornaments that are littered among the branches, and he can’t quite make out what they all are, but something tells him that they each hold a special meaning to Y/N. Maybe some from her childhood, others from some trips she’s had - he could see her collecting them from anywhere she’s travelled to. Harry makes a mental note to ask her at one point.

“I was thinking of making some hot chocolate, and I have a bag of, like, this candy cane and white chocolate pretzels that I’ve been obsessed with lately and was going to munch on that during the movie, but I have a bunch of other snacks too, honestly,” Y/N starts to explain to Harry. He turns on his heels to see she’s already locked her door and is now moving into the kitchen.

“I’m cool with some hot chocolate,” Harry nods, “and I’ll give the pretzels a try, they sound good.”

“They are so good, oh my god,” she moans at the mere thought of eating them. Bending down to open her bottom drawer, she reveals a well organized array of munchies that looked like a stoner's heaven.

As she’s ruffling through the drawer Harry takes in her outfit. She’s got on a pair of Christmas themed pajama bottoms with little snowflakes scattered along the dark blue material that matched with her plain dark blue shirt. Her hair was thrown up into a messy bun, wispy hairs falling around her face as it looks as though it’s been up all day and she hasn’t cared to fix it. Overall, she looks comfortable and at ease - as she should be in her own home. He had wondered if she ever dressed down, seeing as he had only ever seen her after a day of work dressed in trendy high fashion, but somehow casual clothing. Christmas pajamas suit her, he thinks with a smile.

Y/N gets a hold of the bag of pretzels she’s talking about and opens it, taking one out for herself right away to bite down on before turning to Harry who’s standing in her kitchen. She smiles at the pretzel and lifts the bag to him. Harry takes a few steps towards her before reaching into the bag and grabbing one for himself. He brings it to his mouth and Y/N watches for his reaction. His jaw flexes as he chews down on the sweet yet salty treat.

Harry hums and nods, reaching into the bag again, “not bad,” he says before chewing on another one. Y/N smiles and passes him the bag all together, turning towards the stove top to turn on the kettle already filled with water.

“Can you find two mugs in that cabinet?” Y/N asks Harry as she looks to her left and sees him standing in front of the cabinet that held her many mugs and glasses. She points to it and Harry nods. He puts the bag of pretzels down after sneaking one last one into his mouth, and opens the cabinet door to reveal Y/N’s collection of mugs. He goes for the two at the front, which were Christmas themed, of course; one shaped like the Grinch and the other like Santa. As he sets them down on the counter in front of him, beside the bag of pretzels that he sticks his hand into again, he notices a glass container full of brown powder that he assumes is her hot chocolate mix.

“Is this your hot chocolate mix?” He asks, just to be sure.

“Yes,” Y/N nods, “I honestly make myself a cup almost every night during the colder seasons.”

“Are you a coffee or tea person?” Harry asks, keeping his eyes on the container as he twists it open and sees a metal teaspoon measuring cup inside already. He starts to scoop some into each mug as he waits for Y/N’s answer. Although he is very aware of her possibly liking coffee, considering how he’s seen her with many Starbucks cups before.

“Yeah, I enjoy both too. I have way too much coffee during my work days, and tea reminds me of the days at my grandparents,” she explains, watching Harry scoop her preferred amount of mix into each mug without even asking. She smiles softly, seeing him reach for yet another pretzel too.

“Are you saying tea is for old people?” Harry questions, raising a brow as he peers at Y/N in the corner of his eye. Y/N rolls her eyes, a smile still on her lips. Her kettle begins to squeal into the air, but she’s quick to turn and take it off the heat. She turns off the stove and uses a tea towel to bring it over to the mugs - Harry steps back out of her way, but not before grabbing the bag of pretzels.

“Old people and the British too, of course,” Y/N teases.

Harry chuckles, “of course,” he says in agreement. He waits till Y/N fills the mugs and sets the kettle back down on the stovetop before he steps back to the counter and wraps a hand around the handle of the Grinch mug. Y/N is quick, stepping towards him and gently slapping his hand.

Harry flinches his hand away and raises a brow at Y/N, jokingly taken back by her action. Y/N bites down on her bottom lip to prevent herself from giggling over how cute that look on his face was.

“I have whipped cream that’s in a can, but it’s still good,” Y/N states, giving him a look that said ‘back off and let me do this’. Harry only chuckles again and nods. “Also slow down on the pretzels, if I don’t get any during the movie I’ll be very upset.”

“They’re addicting, sorry,” Harry mumbles through his mouth full of pretzels, a smile tugging at his mouth.

“Trust me, I know. That’s like my fourth bag this week, I swear,” she states with a chuckle.

As Y/N walks to her fridge Harry steps up to the mugs once more and takes a chance on the drawer directly under them for a spoon. His instincts are right as he pulls the drawer open to see her utensils; he grabs a teaspoon in order to stir the hot chocolate. Y/N turns back from the fridge with the whipped cream can in hand, turning around to see Harry focused on the mugs. She smiles, tilting her head as she watches him nudge the drawer closed with his hip, and begin to stir the contents of them till the powder was all mixed in with the water. Look at them being all domestic, she thinks. Licking her lips, she shakes her head a little and walks up to Harry, shaking the can of whipped cream and waits for him to finish stirring. He sets the spoon in the sink and watches as Y/N tops off the mugs with a heap of whipped cream.

“You better actually eat the whipped topping this time,” Harry says to her teasingly, referring to when they had hot chocolate in the park, and she let her whipped cream melt. Y/N chuckles and brings the tip of the whipped cream can to her open mouth.

She puts pressure on the top again and makes the sweet cream pile into her mouth as she tips her head back, the aerosol can is the only noise in the room as Harry watches her do it. His breath catches in his throat and he blinks several times as he imagines an entirely different scenario with this whipped cream can and her mouth. Y/N brings the whipped cream away from her mouth and swallows, watching Harry do the same thing - did she make him feel uncomfortable? She thinks to herself as she licks her lips and looks down at the ground. Don’t overthink it, don’t overthink it, she thinks while walking back to the fridge to return the whipped cream to the shelf. When she turns back, she sees that Harry has both mugs in his hands.

“Maybe I should just have both of these, since you’re probably full from that mouth full of whipped cream,” Harry teases her, bringing both mugs to his lips, acting as if he’s going to slurp up the whipped topping that’s nearly flowing over the side.

“Absolutely not,” Y/N gasps, reaching forward quickly for the Grinch mug, but Harry moves it out of her grasp faster.

“I want the Grinch one,” he says with a slight whine to his voice. Y/N can’t stop the giggle this time, blushing afterwards as she thinks of how freaking adorable he is.

“Fine,” she sighs and takes the Santa mug from him instead.

Harry grins and lets her lead the way back into her living room, the bag of pretzels in his other hand. Y/N sets her mug down on the coaster on the coffee table, just like she had with her glass of wine the last time Harry was over. He watches as she sits cross legged on the floor in front of her tv stand. Y/N grabs the two movies she was debating over earlier in each hand and lifts them up for Harry to see. He loves them both of course.

“Which one? I can’t decide,” Y/N states. Harry hums and lifts his mug to his lip to slurp up some whipped cream.

“Elf,” Harry answers, “I’m in a Will Ferrel comedy kind of mood,” he adds.

“Alright,” Y/N chuckles under her breath and turns away from Harry to open her DVD player and then open the case for Elf. He liked that she had the movies on physical DVD, not just clicking away on a streaming app. She places the DVD in the player and then closes it again before standing up quickly and skipping over to the couch, plopping down excitedly but gently that Harry isn’t even scared that he’ll spill his hot chocolate.

“We can watch the other one next time,” Harry suggests, feeling brave in the moment as the trailers start to play softly on the screen and Y/N is reaching for the remote that sat on the coffee table. She looks at him and smiles.

“‘kay, yeah, next time,” she pauses but then points the remote at Harry. “But next time you’re hosting, I feel like we should switch it up sometimes,” she adds and waits to see Harry nod with a smile before she turns to the TV and gets to the main menu of the movie.

“Fair, I just think my place lacks the holiday cheer that we would want,” Harry explains. Y/N stops her from hitting play right away and leans back into the couch, flopping her head to the side to look at Harry. He’s still holding his mug, which reminds her that her own is sitting there untouched, so she sits up again and grabs it.

“Well you know what would fix that?” She questions, bringing the mug to her lips and slurping up some of the whipped cream that was in fact already melting. Harry watches her as her eyes are glued to her mug, focused on not spilling it over the sides it seems.

“Decorations?” He asks, still watching her. He smiles as she licks her upper lip that’s covered in melting whipped cream.

“Exactly,” she nods enthusiastically. She takes another few sips of her hot chocolate before leaning back into her couch once again, getting all snuggled up before lifting the remote to the TV and hitting play.

“I’m not really good with decorating - my sister and mom did my apartment to be honest,” Harry admits. Y/N watches the opening scene of one of her favourite Christmas movies, feeling all giddy inside as it’s the first time she’s watching it this holiday season. She gets like this every year with every holiday movie.

“Well, I can help you out. Maybe we can do a little trip to Target before our next movie night. Then do a quick set up and then watch the movie after,” Y/N suggests, nervously peering over at Harry over the rim of her mug after. She doesn’t know if she’s crossing a line or anything. She just wants to spend more time with him, even if it’s just as friends.

Harry gives Y/N a half smile, one of his dimples making an appearance as he looks into her eyes. He would love that, honestly. The idea of them wandering through the Christmas isles at Target as she gives him advice on what decorations would go together and fit his apartment style; they would set up the decorations after and he’d watch her be in her element. Maybe he’d put on some Christmas music and hope she would dance around. Harry gives Y/N a short nod.

“I like that plan,” Harry tells her.

Y/N smiles and nods back at him. “Then it’s a deal, we’ll set a time after the movie. It’s about to get good,” she says, looking back at the TV screen again as Will Ferrel’s character makes his appearance.

“The whole movie is good,” Harry states.

“Shh,” Y/N hushes him, taking another sip of her drink and keeping her eyes on the movie. Harry smiles and watches her watch Elf. He notices her hand gently tapping the cushion between them after a moment. Harry chuckles under his breath and nudges the bag of pretzels open, taking a few for himself before facing the bag her way. Once she’s got one between her teeth she feels completely content.

She’s got a cup of yummy hot chocolate, her favourite snack, Christmas lights are twinkling around her, one of her favourite Christmas movies is playing, and she’s with good company too. In fact, she finds herself not once thinking of Mark the rest of the night. Even in her dreams, it’s Harry, again.

They exchanged phone numbers. It’s not a big deal, Harry thinks to himself as he gets a third text from his newest contact in his phone. But it felt like a big deal; it was an easy way to get a hold of her whenever he needed to or wanted to even. Not that he would just bother her for no good reason. As much as he’d like to text with her all day, he knows that they really just exchanged phone numbers in order to plan to hangout easily. Like for today, Y/N had a long work day, but still wanted to take Harry Christmas decor shopping, so she was asking him if he could just meet her at the closest Target.

There’s one a few blocks away from the apartment, I’ll send you the location, are you able to meet me there? She texts along with a Google Maps link to the store. Harry tapped out a response right away, letting his focus sway away from the TV show he had on when her name lit up his screen.

Sounds good to me, what time? Harry hits send and notices the bubble with three dots pop up right away. She must have a moment at work right now; he checks the time to see it’s just past noon, assuming she’s on her lunch break.

I should be leaving the office by 3pm today, then it’s like a 15 minutes subway ride and 5 minute walk to get there for me. So like 3:30ish, is that okay with you? Wait. Are you busy today? I didn’t even ask if you were working too, sorry. She sends the texts in a few separate bubbles, realizing that she didn’t even ask if Harry was working or not today. Y/N has no idea what the schedule of a songwriter was like. Harry chuckles at her little panic and types out his response.

Super busy…. Watching mindless TV shows on Netflix. He adds a laughing emoji for good measure, to which Y/N replies with some of her own laughing emojis before saying God I wish that was how my day was going.

Y/N ends up texting Harry her whole lunch break. He asks about what she’s been doing today, his responses seeming very interested in the adventures she has had in the office being a stand in model since her measurements were close to a clients. She then asks what show he’s watching, to which he tells her about this Netflix baking show called Sugar Rush and he tells her about the challenge the contestants on the most recent episode endured. Y/N finds herself smiling at her screen, nearly forgetting to even eat her lunch. Sammy clears his throat just a few minutes before their time is up and causes her to look up at him, raising her eyebrows at his own.

“What?” She asks, stabbing her fork into the salad she had Sammy pick up for her earlier.

“Nothing,” Sammy hums, Y/N rolls her eyes. “Just noticed you’ve been quite busy on that phone of yours for the past, oh, I don’t know, twenty five minutes,” Sammy teases her, eyes widening slightly and motioning his hands in the air with his words. He did that a lot, talking with his hands, that is.

“So?” Y/N tries to brush off her friend's pushy behaviour.

“So? Really? We’re just going to act as if you’re not giggling at your phone screen like a little school girl?” Sammy questions.

“I am not doing that,” Y/N huffs.

“Yeah, sure, sweetie and I’m straight,” Sammy rolls his eyes dramatically and then pouts while shaking his body in his seat. Y/N furrows her brows at his behaviour. “I live off your love life. Please give me something, anything. Please just tell me that you’re talking to that hot neighbour of yours and let me continue on my merry little day knowing that your love life is about to be thriving while mine is dead.”

Y/N sighs and tries to ignore as her phone vibrates again, signalling that Harry had texted her back. She sits back in her chair and crosses her arms over his chest, covering the deep v-cut of her black body suit that she was wearing with a pair of red slim legged slacks, and a matching red blazer that was currently laying over the back of the chair she sat in. Amanda didn’t have any sort of dress code for work, merely to come in looking professional and stylish, which for Y/N, meant a good pant suit moment every once in a while. But with still keeping it sexy and young by pairing it with a bodysuit.

“Fine, I’m texting Harry,” Y/N tells Sammy, feeding into his gossip need for the day. “We actually hung out two night ago, he came over for a movie night-”

“What?! Why am I just hearing about this now?” Sammy questions, sitting up quickly and throwing his hands in the air. “What happened? Touching? Did you kiss? Oh my lord, tell me what his peni-”

“Sammy! Oh my god, relax, please,” Y/N cuts him off, putting a hand up to stop him from talking. “Nothing happened. Sorry to disappoint, but I am still in a relationship with Mark. Harry just came over, we made some hot chocolate and polished off a bag of those delicious candy cane pretzels.”

“Those pretzels are good,” Sammy nods in agreement.

“Yeah,” Y/N nods, “but anyways, nothing happened, and nothing is going to happen. We’re just friends, and I enjoy being around him a lot. So, today after work we’re going to Target to buy his apartment some decorations, then we’ll probably order in some food and watch another movie.”

“Sounds pretty couple-y to me,” Sammy says in a high pitched tone. Y/N just shakes her head and rolls her eyes at her friend again.

Y/N couldn’t lie, though. The few hours later in Target, they looked like a couple. Harry pushes the cart down the aisle while she tilts her head and debates which tinsel really fit Harry’s aesthetic. She brings the Starbucks cup to her lips and sips the warm caramel flavoured latte. Y/N was pleasantly surprised when she saw Harry walking up to her outside the Target with two Starbucks holiday cups in his hand. He gave her a timid smile and explained what both of the drinks were, saying he hadn’t tasted either and wanted to see what she wanted first before taking the other for himself. It was unexpected and ridiculously sweet of him to do.

“I think red would look really nice around your apartment, kind of spice up the place a little,” Y/N explains, her free hand skimming over the many different tinsels that were hanging up before her. Harry agrees, red would look nice in his apartment and spice things up a lot, except his mind is thinking of this red pant suit she’s wearing right now. He thinks it would look rather nice on his bedroom floor.

When she walked up to him and he took in her outfit, he nearly tripped over his own feet and spilled the two coffees he brought with him. But he kept himself together, well, sort of. He stumbled over his words, rambled like a fool about why he got the two coffees for her, but they finally got into the store, which now, he’s just been checking her out as they walked to the Christmas section. Get it together, Harry thinks to himself.

“Red’s nice,” Harry says, his voice cracking slightly. So, he clears his throat and steps away from the cart to pick up a piece of tinsel that Y/N was looking at. “I like the bit of silver mixed in too,” he comments.

“I was thinking the same thing,” she says with a smile before grabbing four more of the same one and adding it to the cart. Harry does the same with the one in his hand and then puts his hands on the cart once more, pushing it back and forth just a few inches. Harry can’t stop himself from admiring that suit once more as she bends down to check out the many different boxes of tree ornaments.

“Which ones?” Y/N asks, quickly turning her body. Y/N catches his gaze on her body, but Harry blinks quickly and meets her stare. The corner of her lips tug up into a smug smile at the thought of Harry checking her out.

“The ones in your, uh, your right hand,” Harry answers her questions, clearing his throat again and watching as she stands straight before putting the ornaments into the cart.

They continue their way through Target, still looking very much like a couple as they grab a few bags of the candy cane pretzels that Y/N got Harry hooked on the other night before heading to the check out. Harry insists on paying for the few little items of Y/N’s in the cart, telling her over and over again that it wasn’t a huge deal. He almost doesn’t let her carry a single thing, but she quickly gets a hold of a standing Santa decoration that was too big for a bag and hugs it to her chest their whole walk home.

Harry unlocks his apartment door for them, noticing how their neighbour Mr Matthers is opening his at the same time to peer out and see who’s in the hallway. Harry holds open the door for Y/N, she thanks him in a small voice and smiles at him. Looking back out into the hallway, Harry waves at Mr Matthers, who simply returns it with a scowl on his face before Harry steps inside and shuts the door behind him. Suppose their neighbour is a bit jealous of Harry, he’s seen the way he looks at Y/N. Hell, especially today in that suit, everyone on the street was looking at Y/N with wide eyes and big smiles - Harry felt like quite the lucky guy, little did everyone know they were in fact not together. Just friends, Harry reminds himself for the millionth time.

“Oh, I love the tree,” Y/N states, her voice bringing Harry back to Earth as he locks the door and walks over to his coffee table to set down the many bags in his arms. Y/N is still holding the Santa decoration to her chest, looking at the fake Christmas tree he had purchased on Amazon yesterday on a whim. He was thinking about them decorating together again, and thought that it wouldn’t feel right if he didn't have a tree too. It’s a good thing he told Y/N over text, otherwise they wouldn’t have gotten ornaments or anything for it.

“Yeah, I just got the first one that included lights on Amazon, to be honest,” Harry tells her. Y/N chuckles and walks over, setting the Santa decoration just beside the tree gently.

She brushes a hand over the tree and smiles, “it’s wonderful, really pulls the whole festive look together in my opinion.”

“I agree,” Harry nods. He grabs for the TV remote and turns it on, quickly turning the volume down before he sets it up to the music channels - clicking on the Christmas tunes without a second thought. Y/N watches Harry, her heart hammering in her chest as the soft sounds of Michael Buble fills the room. Mark would never do any of this - he wouldn’t voluntarily put on Christmas music, ever. In fact, he shut off the station in her car on the way to the airport. And he definitely wouldn’t decorate with her either, seeing as he thinks that her apartment looks childish. She pouts at the thought of her and Mark’s phone call the other day. He hasn’t called or texted her since.

“Did you not want to listen to Christmas music?” Harry asks suddenly, snapping Y/N out of her thoughts and turns to look at him. He’s taking off his jacket, revealing a white shirt underneath with a bumble bee and some blue writing around it, paired with his purple trousers and a pair of white socks on his feet after slipping out of his shoes too. Y/N loves his simple yet not basic style.

“No, no,” Y/N assures him, finally unbuttoning her blazer now and taking off the mittens and beanie she had worn in the cold. She stuffs them into the blazer pocket and slips out of it. “I love Christmas music so much, honestly maybe a little too much, Mark hates it,” she admits.

A shiver falls over her body as she realizes then she’s simply in the rather thin bodysuit that also dipped very low in the front. Y/N doesn’t look at Harry as she feels her nipples harder from the coolness of his apartment, embarrassed as she didn’t prepare for her attire after going out. Harry suddenly lifts up a hand, his pointer finger up as if to say ‘one second’, then he’s walking down the hallways and returns not even a minute later with a black sweater in hand.

“It’s clean, just washed today, I promise,” Harry tells her, holding out one of his favourite jumpers for her. He had been given a few merchandising pieces from the label over the years and this plain black jumper that read ‘Columbia’ on the front in white has been in his possession for a couple years now. In his opinion, it was very comfortable due to how much he’s worn it.

“Thank you,” Y/N says softly while taking it from him.

She puts it on and is immediately warmer. Her hands cover completely because of how long the sleeves are and it falls down past her bum too, due to the large size. She looks good, Harry thinks as he takes in her wearing his clothing. Y/N smiles and turns to grab things from the Target bags they had just brought in.

“Okay, let’s begin with the tree then,” she says excitedly, trying to clap her hands together but just ends up smacking the sleeves of Harry’s hoodie together.

It’s just as Harry imagined it. The soft lights from the Christmas tree glow over the shadows of Y/N’s face as she wraps the red tinsel around the base of it before passing it to Harry in order for him to reach the taller portion of the tree. She dances when Jingle Bell Rock plays on the TV, his jumper swaying around her body because of how big it is on her. They’re both smiling and singing along to the music, jokingly of course. Harry wasn’t about to show her all his little secrets and start belting out White Christmas along with the singers of Wham!

“Can you pass me a couple of the silver balls?” Y/N asks Harry, her eyes on the tree as she put the last red ball ornament she had grabbed onto a branch. Harry raises his eyebrows in a joking manner.

“The what?” He questions, but still making his way to where the array of different coloured ball ornaments laid on the couch.

“Like two of the balls,” she says again. Harry laughs, his eyes crinkling up and his dimples fully showing as he does. Y/N furrows her brows, but then gets why he’s laughing. “You’re a child,” she scolds him playfully.

“I couldn’t help myself,” Harry states, grabbing two of the ornaments she’s asking for and passing them to her.

“Thank you for the balls, Harry,” she says. They both end up laughing this time, she can’t help it. His laughter is contagious with how his eyes squint up and his dimple somehow deepens, not to mention the little vocal ‘aha’ he does before laughing. It makes Y/N’s stomach ache, not from laughing too, but with the butterflies. Those stupid little butterflies that have made a home inside of her stomach since meeting this kind, handsome, British man.

Once the tree is done, Y/N beats Harry to ordering them food. They decide on getting sushi, which is something she could never order with Mark since he has this personal vendetta against seafood for some reason. But Mark isn’t on her mind for long. It’s all Harry, all the freaking time. She likes how he beams a winning smile at the delivery guy and thanks him three times in the sixty seconds he’s at his door, and how he barely pays his phone any attention the whole night besides when it chimes with a few texts that he explains is his workmates group chat. Now, she can’t stop watching him chew his food; how his jaw flexes with each bite and how his eyebrows furrow when he can’t get the chopsticks to grab the California roll he wanted. Why do I find him eating so attractive? Y/N shakes her head slightly and forces herself to look back at the TV that’s playing the Sugar Rush show on Netflix that Harry was texting her about earlier.

Harry collects their take out containers after a few moments to ensure that Y/N is done, asking her just to be sure she doesn’t want the two pieces that are left over. She thanks him, but says no, and he manages to grab all five containers in one trip to the kitchen. His mom most definitely raised him well, Y/N thinks as she lays back on his couch and watches the TV show. It suddenly hits Y/N, his brows pulling together as she pushes herself to sit up and turns her body to look behind her through the open concept to look at Harry.

“Are you going home for Christmas?” She asks him. Y/N assumed home was England, besides obvious factors, but she remembers him telling her about driving in London once. Harry brushes his hands on a tea towel that's hanging off his stove before turning to walk back into the living room.

“Um, no, not this year,” Harry says.

“Oh, do you typically go home and visit your family? You mentioned your mom and sister had decorated this place though, do they live here?” She throws the other questions his way as he walks around the couch and sits in his spot again.

“They all live in England, yeah,” he nods, “my mom, my step dad, older sister and her boyfriend all flew out here with me to help me settle in the few years back when I got my job. But I do usually go home for holidays, or just casually during the summer. Earlier this year I had to make an unexpected trip,” Harry pauses and clears his throat as he looks away from Y/N as he feels that familiar pain in his chest, “my step dad passed away. So it just took a bit of money out of my account, I decided not to fork out the money for expensive flights during the holidays.”

Hearing that Harry had lost his step dad recently torn Y/N’s heart in two. She frowns, taking a deep breath before reaching over and placing a hand over Harry’s that rested folded in his lap. Harry looks at where their skin touched, it felt like his hands were vibrating under her touch. She swipes her thumb over his knuckles, the touch so soft like a feather just barely skimming over his skin. Harry has to stop himself from flipping his hand over slowly and intertwining their fingers together. She has a boyfriend, she’s just being a good person and comforting a friend.

“I’m very sorry to hear about your step dad, Harry,” she soft and gentle voice, rubbing the pad of her thumb over his knuckle again as she watches him inhale deeply through his nose.

Harry clears his throat of the threatening tears and shakes his head slightly, a piece of his hair falling onto his forehead as he does. He takes one of his hands and lays it over Y/N’s, giving it a few pats. Tonight had been good

and fun, and he didn’t want to go ruining the mood with his tears. So, he lifts his head and looks at Y/N, finding her somber eyes staring at him already. He forces a smile, licking his lips before clearing his throat again.

“Thank you,” he says, “I don’t want to make this good night all emotional now, so yeah, the short answer is I’m not leaving the city for the holidays this year. I do have a trip planned in March to see my mum for mothers day though,” Harry explains, rubbing Y/N’s hand that’s between his.

Y/N mirrors his smile, although it’s not as full as usual, a bit sad still as she thinks about what Harry and his family must’ve gone through this year - and that his mother won’t see her son her first Christmas without her husband to top it all off. Maybe she could buy his flights? But no, no she couldn’t, she thinks sadly. They sit there like that for another moment, her hand between his much larger once, and they stare at each other. Finally, Y/N lets out a sigh and tries to get out of her head before she ends up crying. Harry lets go of her hand slowly, and she brings both hands to her face to brush back her hair. Harry does the same to get the strand of hair that had fallen on his forehead back into place.

“Well I’m glad you can go see your mom for mothers day, at least,” Y/N says, looking at the positive. Harry nods and then leans back, throwing an arm over the back of the couch to stretch out.

“Yeah, me too,” he agrees, “she’s already telling me all about the plans she’s made for my trip and talks my ear right off as if it’s happening tomorrow.” Harry tells Y/N with a chuckle.

Hearing his little laugh brings a real smile to her face this time. “I’m sure she’s counting the days till you fly in,” Y/N says. She is starting to feel a little tired as she lays back on the couch, laying her legs out on the chaise. Harry watches as she pulls the sleeves of his jumper back down, she had rolled them up while eating so they didn’t get in the way, but he likes the sweater paw look on her as she snuggles into the couch.

“Do you spend Christmas at home still?” Harry asks her, keeping his voice soft as he realizes it’s gotten late and both their eyelids are getting heavy.

“My parents have something on Christmas Eve, sometimes I spend the night, other times I make my way home,” she exclaims vaguely.

Y/N doesn’t love her times at home anymore; she finds her parents ‘I’m too rich for anything' attitude to be tiresome. As she grew up into her own person, she realized the privilege she had with the wealth she grew up with. She started to see how pointless some parties her mother threw, and how little she would have to try to just coast through life. Y/N didn’t want to grow up like every other bratty kid on the Upper East Side, so she moved out right after graduation, got into fashion school, focused on herself, and earned her own money - all while learning of how to use her privilege for good, like donating her time and money to good causes. Something her parents only did to look good within their social circle.

So, going back home for over the top holiday parties, getting gifted a new car every year, and seeing her parents throw their money at whatever, really only bothered her more than anything. Y/N would simply stop in for Christmas Eve, enjoy a few hours with family and then go home to her own world again.

A yawn slips past Y/N’s mouth as she’s deep in thought, which then makes Harry yawn as the both of them bring their hands to cover their mouth and then letting out soft laughter afterwards. Y/N sits up and stretches both arms above her head. “I guess I should head home,” she says before standing up slowly.

“Yeah, you’ve got a long way to go,” Harry jokes.

“Oh yeah, it’ll take me ages,” Y/N adds onto the joke with a smile. “Thank you for having me over, I really enjoyed it,” she says.

Harry nods, “well thank you for helping me with all this,” he says, motioning to the decorating they had done. They both glance around the room then at their work. The red and silver decor matched Harry’s aesthetic perfectly, just as Y/N thought it would.

“We didn’t watch Polar Express,” Y/N realizes suddenly, pouting.

“Next time, Y/N,” Harry chuckles. She huffs and lets out a sigh, muttering a quiet ‘fine’ before making her way towards his front door. Harry follows behind her, planning to lock the door and listen till she gets into her own apartment before getting ready for bed.

“Should I text you when I’m home safe? It’s just so far away,” Y/N continues to joke around, causing Harry to smile as he watches her grab her blazer and slip into her shoes.

“You never know, Mr Matthers across the hall could intercept you on the way home and kidnap you. I wouldn’t sleep till I got that text knowing you got home safely,” Harry says, half joking. Cause you never know with Mr Matthers, he thinks. Y/N laughs and hugs her blazer to her stomach while standing beside the door, reaching for the handle but keeping her gaze on him.

“Mr Matthers is harmless,” Y/N says.

“He’s obsessed with you,” Harry counters back. Y/N just rolls her eyes and unlocks the door before swinging it open.

“Goodnight Harry,” she says sweetly.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Harry says back with a smile. She mirrors his smile and then walks off into the hallway. Harry watches the door shut behind her and walks over to lock it before turning off the few lights in the living room and entryway. As he is turning off his TV his phone buzzes with an incoming text.

Made it home safely and in bed! Sweet dreams read Y/N’s text sent seconds ago. Harry breathes out a chuckle as he walks down the hallway to his bathroom to begin his nightly routine. As he turns on the light for his bathroom he types back a response. Cheeky.. Sweet dreams Y/N. He turns off the screen before he stands there and waits for her to reply with anything, his heart would even flutter over an emoji.

He was so far gone for this girl, he couldn’t stop himself from falling any longer - but it had felt inevitable from the moment his eyes had met hers in the elevator.

>> part three <<

thanks for reading, please reblog/leave some feedback if you enjoyed it! until next week 😘

*like this post if you’d like to be added to the cstsyl taglist!*

#harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #boyfriend!harry #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles concept #1dff #cstsyl

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heauxzenji · 4 years

Note

I'm not sure if u take requests but if u do could u write a NSFW alphabet for Issei?¿ ♡

So lemme tell you something- I got this req and the first thing that came out of my mouth was BIIIIIIIIITTTTCCCCHHHHHH

And I proceeded to scream cry and yell about this for idk how long. I put so much thought into this- I literally wrote it in almost one night completely. I have SO much to say about this man. My Issei brainrot is only fueled by my stupid horny Pisces brain- WHICH HE ALSO HAS god bless him. Anyway enough about me this turned my mind into soup and it all fell out of my ears enjoy ur fucking horse cock

NSFW Alphabet- Matsukawa Issei

No thoughts head he. 😌

gn!reader focused, obviously nsfw....

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

Best Service Dom. Best Dom EVER. Anything you want you get, you have to only say the words. Food? Already ordered so it would be there by the time you finished. Cuddles? His arms are wide open and his body is very warm. Sit in a bubble bath and scroll through your favorite online stores? The bath is nice and warm and his credit card is at your disposal. He takes amazing care of you, and will stop at nothing to make you feel secure/safe/happy at all times..

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

Welll…. I… we all know what it is. I’ll explain more later but in addition to that he also has the most amazing arms/abs. He’s very lean, definitely naturally so. Doesn’t need to work out but does so anyway keep toned.

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

Likes to cum inside you, but simply so that he can watch it ooze out of your hole. Sometimes he’ll even keep fucking you after he’s finished to see himself push it back in even after it’s out.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

I hate adding this but he has a foot fetish. Not like a hardcore creepy kind of foot fetish- he just likes to suck a toe here and there. But only if they’re freshly pedicured… he’s very picky. He’ll give foot massages all the time tho if you ask him. He just never tells anyone about it because he knows his friends will clown him.

Not ur foot but close enough he would get you one of those little golden name anklets and kiss it every time he lifts your leg over his shoulder. 👀🦋

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

Absolutely. He’s done a lot in his life, and is not short on any stories of past encounters. He is kind of a sex encyclopedia, but he’s very casual about it. If you bri bc up something you wanna try, 11/10 times he’s going to not only have done it, but be able to suggest ways for you to make it better- with several anecdotes.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Doesn’t just like doggy- it is his lifeblood. It’s easier for him to control your movements while also making sure that he can bury himself all the way inside. He can have a vice grip on your hips one moment, his fists full of your hair the next- and if he starts spanking you well… that’s between you two and god.

He does like plain old missionary too, but only bc he can see himself in your tummy.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

It makes him laugh sometimes when you struggle to take him all at once. He thinks it cute that you try, but it’s hilarious how big your head gets sometimes. He has to fuck you dumb and remind you that you can’t do that.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

Trims, but not super short. He does wax his happy trail tho bc it makes him self-conscious.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈𝖞

Can actually be very romantic if he wants to. He is a Pisces, after all. He does enjoy foreplay and the sensuality of that to get you prepped, and he takes extra care to make sure you’re fully ready. He is going to be hard on you, but understands that he has to take good care of you, and he does

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

Daily. At least once. It keeps the stress away and livens his mood. He does it as soon as he wakes up, and then if he’s having a really hard day or difficulty sleeping, he can do it to ease his nerves.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

Size, obvious because everyone is smaller than him Skdkfkf he’s a giant. He’s 6’2 and his cock is at least 3 feet of that.

Daddy Kink, self explanatory mostly. It’s just so fucking sweet on his ears, his baby cooing for their daddy, trying so hard to work his entire cock into their tiny hole, trying to be so good for him… he loses it every time.

Voyeurism, likes watching you touch yourself. He finds it amusing how you think you can get yourself there without his help. You both know that’s impossible, but it turns him on to see you try.

Praise, again- he loves to make you feel special. And you work so hard fitting all of him inside, he has to tell you how good of a job you’re doing, especially because he’s appreciative of you letting him impale you. He has to let you know.

Mutual Masturbation, Kinda goes with voyeurism. If you’re away from each other, you’re definitely going to have sex via FaceTime- he just wants to see you, and also wants you to see him. To him, it lets you know you’re the only one that can get him there, and that your presence alone- even if he’s not touching you, is more than enough.

Lingerie, Loves nothing more than seeing you all pretty for him. He also just really likes the feeling of lace or silk against his fingertips He can get out of control and rip your sets tho- but don’t worry, death is a very lucrative business- He will buy you several replacements.

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

LOVES car sex. If the mood strikes, he WILL pull over. But really, he’ll take it wherever he can get it.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He’s very eager to please. A little lazy, yes, but at his core he wants to make sure you’re feeling good.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He has done literally everything at least once and the one thing he just can’t get into is piss. One bad experience and a 3 month uti later he’s sworn off it for good.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Not his favorite. He could honestly go with or without it personally, just because there’s so much of him. But he will happily fuck your throat if you want him to, and will go down on you for hours to make sure you’re truly prepped. For someone who’s not a big fan of it, he’s actually AMAZING with his mouth. It’s lazy but in the best way possible.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

Starts off slow so you’re good to go, but will pick up the pace as you stretch out. He does enjoy a few slow deep thrusts in between drilling you into oblivion tho. He never tries to make your guts into a smoothie on purpose, it just kinda happens that way.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

He will never say no to quickie. The amount of fast food bathrooms and abandoned parking lots you’ve seen is astronomical. The amount of times Makki has kicked you out of his apartment for trying something while he goes to the bathroom is even higher.

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

He's the classic degen. bf who reaches across the table at the same time as your dad when you go “daddy can you pass the salt?”

So yes, he’s definitely going to tease you under a table at thanksgiving dinner.

He’s really going to have you whenever he wants- even if it comes at the expense of your pride/morals sometimes.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Can go on forever if you let him. Will overstim you to hell and back before he even thinks about cumming. Doesn’t even know he’s doing it- he’s so used to fucking you brainless that he doesn’t realize it’s too much. But he is SUPER apologetic about it and will make sure to treat you extra carefully.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

He actually has a few for when he’s feeling lazy. He used to run through fleshlights like they were tictacs but he’s since finally found one that he won’t break.

He got most of them for free because he worked in a sex shop during college- he was very popular.

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

Yes. He will 100% rile you up with touches that seem innocent enough in nature, but are a tad bit too low, or linger on for a bit too long.

Will also give you “the look” in public and pretend he doesn’t know what you’re talking about- he definitely does.

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

Vocal in bed, especially with praise. Will constantly tell you how good you’re doing or how good you feel. Doesn’t moan a lot, but they slip out from time to time. Instead it’s a lot of deep breaths, groans, and curses.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

If mortuary school hadn’t have worked out, he and Makki were going to start their own porn company. They actually have a very solid business plan. They made a pact to sit on it for now, since Issei is working at the funeral home.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

LMFAOOOOO

Literally a foot long. Longer actually. I’m going to honestly say 13. No I won’t take it back. Perfect thickness too. Honestly it’s like… god really took his time and got it fucking right. Everything about his physique is perfect- it would only make sense his cock is that perfect to match. Color is even all around, the head is bubblegum pink. There’s also one very prominent vein on the underside, and a few tinier trails of veins on the top. The statue of David? Don’t know her. Only know the statue of Issei.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

High sex drive, but he can keep it subdued if he has to. Especially because he knows he’s too much for most people. He's not shy about it though. Is CONSTANTLY horny on main. Not that you mind.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

Service Dom through and through. He won’t sleep until you do, and even if he’s dead tired, he won’t sleep at all if you’re staying awake. He’s going to do everything to take care of you and your needs first. When you do sleep he likes to hold your head to his chest and will press his nose down into your hair so he can fall asleep surrounded by your scent.

Taglist Starseeds (check ur privacy settings if your url is in bold): @honey-makki @crushzone @yumekosgamblingroom @boujiesav @onesingleravioli @ushijimasfarmhat @trouvelle @nekoma-hoe @right-shoe-jpg @atsumusc0ck @ukaic @nivky0-0 @animoozies @charmarsmith

#daisy’s red light district 🚨#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hc #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #hq headcanons #hq x reader #mattsun x reader #hq smut #mattsun smut #haikyuu drabble #hq drabble #haikyuu fic #hq fic

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jupiturt · 3 years

Note

hey hey hey i’m back again! could you do a oneshot where mc is a exorcist from a very respected clan like how the minamofo clan is and she transferring to the school to exorcise hanako and they battle it out? but yet hanako just keep flirting with them instead of fighting.

yay you requested again :)) THANK U!! and i hope you’re having a nice day <33

“STOP MESSING AROUND!”

notes: fem! exorcist! reader (but feel free to switch the pronouns!) , cursing 😴

“𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗣 𝗠𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗔𝗥𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗗!”

hanako x reader

“Have you seen or heard of Hanako-san of the bathroom around?!” A male with fiery tinted hair questioned a group of students that were walking down the halls, giving him a weird look at the sudden uproar. They explained on how the rumor’s origin took place in the school’s old building, the girls restroom, the male just saying a quick thanks and running off towards the wrong direction. Around the corner of that same hall, a pair of eyes drilled holes onto the boy’s figure as they mumbled something, “What could he be after?”

꒰ᖭི༏ᖫྀ꒱

“It’s no use, I can’t find that dumb school mystery.” Feeling defeated as she bumped her forehead onto the wall, not really caring since there’s always another day and went back to their usual self. Weirdly enough, her initiative to exorcise Hanako led her on the school’s rooftop, not even sure how she got there too.

Just as they were about to glue their eyes onto their phone, she heard footsteps and immediately went to hide in case it was a teacher looking for her since she didn’t go to a single class today. (she thought exorcising Hanako would be better done early) But to her dismay, it was just two students and mentally sighed. She stayed hidden for a while, hearing their conversation about... a prince? Everything was going alright, until she saw someone on top of the roof of the entrance.

“That’s far enough! I finally found you, you vile fiend!”

‘No, it couldn’t be’ And without thinking of what might happen, she jumped out of her hiding spot, seeing three people in front of her. They all gazed at her, the tension in the air growing thicker. Y/n was already about to apologize when noticing a guy with a hat on, her eyes widened at the sudden realization.

“H-Hanako?!!” Exclaiming while pointing at the dark haired one, almost invisible.

“You know him?” The male from earlier said, Kou Minamoto from his grand entrance before she came out of hiding.

“No, but I’ll gladly take the rest from here, so you rest easy.” She confidently reassured Kou as she walked her way to the apparition, drawing her sword that was on her. Before she could let out her anger of trying to find him all day, a girl named Yashiro got in front of him, trying to protect a ghost.

“Hey! I’m trying to save your life here so move so I can exorcise this dumb gho-

“No! I can’t let that happen!” She squeezed her eyes shut. “He’s my friend and I’m his assistant!” Yashiro exclaimed, making her and Kou confused and lost without words.

“FRIEND?!” They both shouted at the same time, already leaving Hanako in the shadows.

“I don’t have time for these excuses.” Putting her hand on the girl’s shoulder while pushing Yashiro gently to find her target, Hanako. “I Y/n L/n have traveled all this way and I will exorcise this supernatural, so you guys better thank me!” Flattering herself too much, looking at the students with an innocent aura- behind her trying to hit the ghost, but he caught her hand in time.

Turning around to look at the ghost, she tried escaping from his grasp, “Get your hands off me you dum-

“Aren’t you a feisty one?” Hanako interrupted while pulling her closer. “Y/n from the L/n clan, you’re very pretty. How about you let me off the hook and I’ll grant you any wish you’d like, hm?” Whispering it into her ear, surprising them with the compliment in between his suggestion.

“...WHAT?!” She panicked and got rid of his grasp, now standing with Kou and Yashiro that were mildly confused as to what he said.

Chuckling to himself, “Isn’t my offer a good one? You can always exorcise me later, but by then you would’ve already fallen in love with me to even do such a thing.” He grinned as he now baffled the three of them.

“Quit talking already! We’re going to exorcise you whether you like it or not!” Kou spoke up as he held his staff from earlier high in the air.

“That’s right, and there’s nothing you can do about it!” He was left unimpressed by both of their sayings, slightly saddened that she didn’t think on agreeing to his deal.

“Please don’t hurt Hanako-kun! He even helped me!” Yashiro spoke up while trying to convince them to not exorcise the school mystery. Leaving Y/n with a small, crestfallen smile, now thinking if she should really exorcise him just by seeing the poor girl helping him.

She sighed, conquered over by a female with cream colored hair just because their interaction with the ghost was kind of cute, even though she shouldn’t be with such a person/ghost. “I wish I could, but I transferred to this school to eliminate Hanako, to prove something.” Her expression was dull, making Yashiro stutter upon her next words.

Silence washed over the atmosphere, right until an incoherent chuckle resonated. “To prove what exactly? Your love for me? How kind~”

“STOP MESSING AROUND BEFORE I EXORCISE YOU!” Having enough of his flirtatious comments, she clutched her sword as she held it in front of her. “Seriously- why bother when I’ve already made my decision.”

Yashiro tried to do something, but was held back by Kou saying how bad of a person he was and still is. Even saying how he was a murderer and used his knife to take someone else’s life, Hanako hugging Y/n from behind and having the knife pointing at Kou and Yashiro.

“Looks like my secrets out, now what will my beloved Y/n think of me?” He looked at Y/n’s expression, it was much more calmer than before, but petrified in a way. Letting her go, she turned around to gaze at him. “Huh?”

“I have every intention to exorcise you, but... just not now.” She shyly looked away, Kou and Yashiro looking at her with a worried gaze.

Hanako smiled at her, “Alright then, what will your wish be? To kiss me?”

“Just shut up.”

END.

ehh i liked it at first but then the ending just made me hate it- i’ll try better next time :)

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alice-angel12x · 3 years

Text

💔Gem!Deku x Gem!Reader

"You think this is the place?" Asked a rouge.

"Yep, that's what our sources tell us," Said another.

"You got the cages and rope ready," The leader asked.

"Yeah of course, but why did we bring this dead weight," A low Lackie asked kicking a tarp-covered cage.

"Because this dead weight is our bait. Those rocks have a soft spot for their own kind, especially the weaker and fragile ones," The leader said as he ripped the tarp away.

Revealing a bound Phosphophyllite gem with messy dark green hair and green eyes. His wrists and ankles were tied together, and a piece of cloth was wrapped around his mouth.

"You know the drill, right Deku," The leader smiled cruelly.

"MMhhm! NNmph!" Deku tried to scream.

The Trappers grabbed the helpless gem as they descended into the caves.

The Kessho people, or gem people many humans call them. Being made entirely of crystals of all kinds, they are highly sought after by humans. Because their entire body was made of pure and untainted crystals, many hunters seek these beauties. For things from jewelry to weapons, or just want a shiny servent, many reasons.

So the gems hide in many places of the world, from small islands to deep underground tunnels and caves. Anywhere out of human reach.

-------

Please. I don't want any part of this. Please let me go! I tried to cry out but I couldn't with the gag in the way. The memories of previous raids started resurfacing. They would use gems like me to lure others out of hiding, for what reason they help me varies. Some communities of gem had an elitist-like community, or even ones made up of one kind of gems. But when they got close they were ambushed and locked away in cages. They would after be turned into weapons and jewelry.

"Here, place him here," The leader Rato said.

They placed me down near a ledge and ripped away from my gag. Looking over I could see two gems walking by down below. I tried to stay as quiet and still as I could so they wouldn't notice me.

"Deku's too quiet," Rato growled.

He stomped on my hand shattering it. I could hold back the pain as I cried out, it echoed throughout the cave. Looking down at the gems below they quickly spotted me and ran away. Good at least they won't get caught.

-------------

Suddenly there was a rustle and a-

"SMASH!!" shouted a large gem.

The gem delivered a powerful punch knocking three of the rouges away. Deku stared in awe at the scene and the powerful gem with a brave smile on his face, but the wind was so strong that Deku was blown off the edge. Time seemed to slow as he watches the edge grow farther and farther away. Deku shut his eyes closed waiting for his painful end When an f/c blurr caught him.

"Are you alright?" Asked a kind voice.

Deku looked up to his hero to be meet E/c eyes with their hair the same color to match. His eyes sparkled as his hero's hair Glimmered beautifully in the moonlight. He looked down to see he was being held bridle style.

"Y-yes," Deku stuttered bashfully.

"Don't worry your safe now, as long as your under All Mights protection you have nothing to fear," The (gem type) smiled.

But Deku couldn't help but just stare at this new gem as an infatuation grew. His captures were long dealt with as the new group of gems escorted him back to their hidden home.

"u-um who are you?" Deku asked the mysterious G/t(gem type).

"Well my friends like to call me Y/n," they smiled as they untied Deku.

"I-I'm Deku," He said with a beet-red face.

"Pleasure to meet you Deku," Y/n greeted as they handed him over to other gems.

"Ochaco, Momo this is Deku. Please get him property clothed and make sure he feels welcomed," All Might a Yellow diamond smiled. (No not that one)

-------------

From that day on I have lived with these Gems for the past 300 years, and my feelings for Y/n only grew. They were so brave and confident, was also one of the greatest fighters in the village. One of the few gems trained under All Might. Sadly cause I only have a toughness scale of 3, so I wasn't suited for combat.

Though All Might noticed that I was very observant and good with notes, so he assigned me to the encyclopedia. My job is to take notes of the enemies we encounter and record events. Then there were some books about stuff I made up, humans would call them fantasies or stories. Though I didn't mind this being my job cause Y/n would come by and read my works. I couldn't help but feel lighter than air and embarrassed at the same time as they were reading my work.

Y/n would always come in after her patrol, come in and read, or more often just sit down and talk to me. Though most of the time it was just him listening to whatever good memories of the human world, or my memories of my original home.

I tried to keep my feeling to myself the best I could by just doodling in my private book, just for my eyes only, but I guess I wasn't secret enough.

"Wow dude, you really have a thing for Y/n," said a voice.

I gasped as I jumped back to see it was Denki, who quickly snatched my drawing book and speed through my embarrassing drawings.

"Wow, you've got it bad. All these drawings are of Y/n and you being lovey-dovey," He said out loud.

Attracting the attention of Iida the Topaz and Ochaco the pink diamond ( No not that one you SU fans). They quickly came over and looked through my book.

"Wow, looks like Touya has a love rival," Ochaco gasped.

Touya the padparadscha gem, was also one of the top fighters for the village and is always Y/n's patrol partner, who was also pinning after them too. There would be times he would just randomly jump into our conversation and steal their attention. But I couldn't hear what they were saying as I covered my ears in embarrassment.

"Oh no, Y/n forgot their other sword," Momo gasped.

"I'll take it to them!" I offered as I quickly grabbed the weapon and ran out of the library.

"Does he know where Y/n and Touya are?" Momo asked.

"It even notes was Y/n patrols today," Denki said flipping through the pages not paying attention.

----------

Y/n and Touya stood guard at one of the cave entrances, as the warm sunlight funneled through. Y/n smiled as she felt the warm light on her powered covered surface.

"Hey Y/n, do you ever wonder what could be on the surface?" Touya asked.

"Ever since Deku came and told me stories of the surface, it only fueled my imagination," Y/n turned to her trusted partner.

"One day we'll be the ones on top, and I'll take you all over the surface. Just you and me," Touya said with confidence.

" That's an awfully big promise Touya," Y/n said as they sat next to him.

"I mean we can always just wait till the humans go extinct," Touya suggested.

"Haha, all right. I'll hold you to that promise," Y/n laughed as they gently held Touya's hand.

Deku watched from the side of a tunnel wall, as he sighed sadly and turned back into the tunnel. He wandered the cave tunnels as he hugged Y/n's sword close to him. As he turned the corner he bumped into something, something large.

------------

I felt lighter than air as I stared into Y/n's e/c eyes.

"AAAAHHHH!" Someone screamed.

"How did the enemy pass us?" Y/n gasped.

"No, maybe the other entrances were compromised," I suggested.

"You go check the next entrance over and see if anything is wrong, I'll go check up the tunnels," Y/n said as she ran down into the dark caves.

With a sigh, I ran to the next entrance that leads to the forests, which was supposed to be guarded by Katsuki and Shoto. Turning the corner he saw two humans picking up pieces of Shoto and Bakugou and stuffing them into potato sacks. Touya quickly drew his sword and cut down the intruders.

Touya to worried about his partner quickly stuffed the rest of Shoto and Bakugou into the bag, not caring he is mixing their pieces, and quickly ran to the village.

---------

"Looks like we caught a phosphophyllite, hold that rock tight Nomu," A light blue hair human smile.

The giant mutant humanoid figure Nomu nodded silently as it the poor gem in its giant hands. Deku's arms were broken off as he was restrained by Nomu's brute strength.

"What fine craftsmen ship, able to slice through rock," Said a tall human with dark back- purple hair.

"LET ME GO!" Deku screamed as he tried to break free from the Nomu.

"Nomu shut the pebble up before he alerts the others," The man growled.

"HEY!" Y/n shouted.

"Another one," The other human grumbled.

"Y/n," Deku smiled in relief.

"Let him go," Y/n said lowly.

"Nomu get it," Tomura pointed at the G/t.

Y/n ran towards the creature and sliced its head clean off, with the sharp edge of her arm. Deku stared with worried and sad eyes as he looked over their damaged form. The left section around her face was broken off, the elbow broke off their left arm, they were missing their right hand, and her right leg was horribly cracked, and it looked like it could fall apart at any moment.

Y/n moved swiftly and kicked the human hard in the face. Deku quickly got up as the two ran down the tunnel.

Deku looked back to see Y/n was having a bit of trouble keeping up with Deku.

"Y/n, are you okay?" Deku asked.

"Don't worry turn right and follow," Y/n said as she pushed forward.

As the two quickly turned the corner, the humans regained their composer and made chase after the two. Y/n pushed a medium-sized boulder away from a tiny hole in the side of the cave wall. Deku hesitantly got in when suddenly Y/n started to close the opening.

"Y/n What are you doing?" Deku asked as the opening became too small for him to even squeeze out of.

"Hiding you, I'll come back for you. I have to lead them away from the village," Y/n explained as they backed away.

"No, Please don't do this. Don't leave me Y/n. I- I want to tell you something first,'' Deku said quickly.

Y/n smiled sadly as she turned to face Deku from the other side of the boulder. Deku could tell they were ready to throw their life away for everyone, for him.

"Y/n, I love-,"

Suddenly Y/n's head was sliced clean off by a thrown sword. Deku gasped in horror as he watched Y/n's body fall to the ground, he tried to reach out but he had no arm to hold out.

Deku wanted to scream and cry, but no sound came out of him. Y/n slowly turned their head towards Deku and mouthed.

'Please live for me, Deku," they mouthed as the humans quickly gathered her broken body.

They were in such a rush they left Y/n's head behind. Deku fell to his knees as he stared at his crush for so long. It felt like an eternity When All Might and Touya arrived, Their eyes widen with horror and sorrow as Touya fell to his knees and held Y/n's head. He put their foreheads together as he cried out in sorrow.

"NOO!" Touya cried.

All might soon notice Deku was trapped behind the boulder and quickly moved it aside with no effort.

"Let us go Young Deku, we need to evacuate the village before they bring more of them," All might said as he helped Deku to his feet.

-----------

(400 years later)

It has been a long time since Y/n's death, All Might changed in a way after his student's death. If he weren't needed, he would lock himself away, but for the most part, he was still the jolly smiling gem he was before. Touya, on the other hand, didn't take Y/n's death all that well, he did lose his love who was his partner for 800 years. He started to call himself Dabi and started to cover only parts of his face, giving him a patchwork look. It not only scared most humans but fellow gems too.

I was upgraded to a medic after Momo was taken about 200 years back, we some people over the years and gained new ones too. I helped piece gems back together, but my main goal is to bring Y/n back. The village moved up high into the mountain, so high it would be difficult for them to breathe, but Humans would risk their lives and come up anyways. Some came with Weapons and tools made of gems, and many times they were G/t so I slowly put Y/n back together piece by piece.

I Finished them for the most part, but there were still 3 large gaping holes in their torso. I tried to use other gem pieces that matched her Mohs scale. Yet it only worked sometimes, she would wake up for about three minutes. Yet when they do everyone who was watching my work quickly rushed in to tell them how much they missed them and update them on everything.

Even Tou- Dabi would come by. Y/n was weirded out at first but they got used to it quickly and I would never really get a chance to talk to them, but I will never forget the last time they woke up. As they said their goodnight to everyone, they turned to me as said.

"I'll miss you Deku, I can't wait to wake up to see you again," Y/n smiled as they fell back unconscious.

I'll bring you back Y/n so I can tell you how I feel.

#houseki no kuni #gem #mha #mha angst #mha deku #izuku mydoria #izuku x reader #deku x reader #angst #bnha midoriya #bnha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #CrossOver

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puffys-kin-help · 2 years

Text

Hiya!! This is a blog for kin help. I’m Mod James//Puffy, and this is a one-mod-run blog! My pronouns are mainly He/They/It, but you may use any pronouns if you wish! Please keep in mind that I’m also a minor. I will also be possibly picky with sources, but I will guarantee that I will try my best!

s o u r c e s

DSMP, OSMP, FNAF, Encanto, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, DDLC, Genshin Impact, Countryhumans, Undertale, Deltarune, Among Us, Cult of Vin, Danganronpa V3, Ghosts (BBC), Disney/Pixar movies

d n i

basic dni criteria (homophobe, p3d0ph1l3, etc...) anti-mcyt, anti-dsmp, anti-vivziepop, system fakeclaims, proshippers, anti-mcyt creators (jschlatt, dream, quackity etc...), more coming soon (?)

b l a c k l i s t

Madness Combat, more coming soon (?)

w i l l d o

doodles

☁️ These will not provide colour and will be digital, though they don’t take much time.

Duration: 5M - 1HR

stimboards // moodboards // songboards

☁️ Please try to be specific unless you want me to surprise you.

Duration: 15M - 1HR

kinfessions

☁️ You know the drill! You provide me with a kinfession and I’ll post it for you!

Duration: 1M - 5M

positivity

☁️ Please let me know what character it’s directed at and what you want and don’t want.

Duration: 10M - 1HR

icons // pride icons

☁️ Please note that if you provide me with a specific image I may not be able to use it for the finished product.

Duration: 10M - 30M

headcanons

☁️ PLEASE be specific on the character and factors you want, I get writers block when I don’t have anything specific to write about.

Duration: 15M - 1HR

neopronoun suggestions

☁️ If you’re going to order name suggestions AND neopronoun suggestions for the same character, then please order both in one ask.

Duration: 10M - 30M

name suggestions

☁️ Same with the neos.

Duration: 10M - 30M

t a g s y s t e m

# calling all crew ! — update

# enjoy yer scallywag ! — req accepted

# sorry.. looks like we’re all out ! — req denied

# this sailors skilled ! — promo

# something i whipped up ! — sharing work (not a req)

# a little birdy told me… ! — captains stories

# puffys ship !

n o t e s

PLEASE note that the durations are estimates and depend on my schedule and whether I’m online or not, I have a life outside of Tumblr, so I may not be able to finish a request in the time frame that I’ve stated.

Please feel free to ask questions.

#calling all crew ! — update #enjoy yer scallywag ! — req accepted #sorry.. looks like we’re all out ! — req denied #puffys ship !#something i whipped up ! — sharing work (not a req)#kin help #fictive blog #fictive help #kin blog #system blog #system help #dsmp kin #dsmp kin help #kin #fictive #a little birdy told me… ! — captains stories

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kono-rohan-da · 3 years

Text

Captain and Coach

Some time ago, @blueboltkatana requested this to be written: Hey uh, I'm embarrassed to be writing this cuz I feel like I'm telling you what to write, but I've had this prompt in my mind for so long. I was thinking how Daichi wasn't just captain for the crows he had to act like a coach as well for quite a while and so he is used to giving advice and helping his teammates but didn't have someone to do that for him and Ukai of course notices and tells him he can leave the team to him now it's ok, and Daichi breaks down because he didn't even realize how much that responsibility weighed on him all this time. I mean Dadchi deserves a dad sometimes too! If u don't like if u don't have to write it it's ok I don't want to seem like I'm telling u what to do!!

Now it's written 😉 On AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32628205Or, read below ----

When Ukai Keishin became Karasuno high school’s coach, he thought he would be expecting a chaotic team that doesn’t know how to behave with a coach in the room. Turns out, he was wrong.

Sure, the kids could be rowdy as hell and would screw around but they had drive. They put in the effort. They expected a result and in order to get that result they put in as much work they could as possible.

One thing Ukai regrets, though, is the amount of time it took him to realize why the kids are always so much of a team without his interference.

The realization comes after his first Interhigh with the team. The clue came when he was watching his team return to the sidelines after losing, getting ready to line up and thank Aoba Johsai for the game. In his head, Ukai was planning to say words of comfort and a good job. Calm them down a bet, maybe offer a few hugs.

He had to do exactly none of that.

Sawamura already had an arm around Nishinoya, his free arm raised so he could rub Tanaka’s head. He moved around so quickly from one player to the other, patting the heads of the first-years, hugging the second and third years, pulling Yachi and Shimizu into a small group hug. It’d be only a week later when Ukai would realize that even though Sawamura had dealt out comfort and kind words he hadn’t gotten any in return.

It’s not long until exam day comes. Practice continues but only every other day in the afternoon. Ukai decided to test a little theory out.

During practice after his little revelation, he gave a few commands for drills but left the rest to Sawamura. By some stroke of luck, Takeda wasn’t here to ask Ukai what he’s doing and why he’s staring at Sawamura so intently. Just like Ukai expected Sawamura easily steps into a position of command and support, telling his teammates what to do, suggestions of improvements, and words of motivation that make even Tsukishima move a bit faster.

Sawamura is always moving around. Most people don’t notice this with Hinata and Nishinoya constantly running around but even they stop. Not Sawamura. Always looking around to see if his teammates are good, briefly checking if shoelaces are tied, tracking movement, provided perfectly timed words. At times Ukai wonders if there’s something otherworldly inside of Sawamura. No, he’s just a kid who cares a lot more than most.

“Sawamura-kun!” Ukai calls at the end of practice. “Can you stay behind for a few minutes? I want to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” Sawamura replies, a smile of agreement on his face with no hint of the annoyance or slight fear of having done something wrong that would have been on Ukai’s own face if his grandpa had asked the same of him back when he was still in school. Maybe there was once a time Ukai would have thought of Sawamura as too trusting of a kid with his response but now he knows better. In his own way that doesn’t have to do with education Sawamura is the smartest kid he knows.

Twenty minutes later the volleyballs are back in their cart and hidden in the storage room. The net has been taken down and it’s too quiet. Ukai and Sawamura are the only two left now, the boy’s jacket zipped all the way out with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“You wanted to talk to me, coach?”

This already feels weird. He’s used to having to pull Tsukishima or Tanaka aside, sometimes Asahi to remind him to be confident, and all three of them have Ukai tilting his head up just a bit. He has to move his gaze below eye level to make eye contact with Sawamura.

“Don’t think you’re in trouble, kid.” He knows that Sawamura doesn’t think that. “I just wanted to give you a tip like you give your friends.” Sawamura’s eyes widen with interest. Ukai clears his throat. He hopes this doesn’t come out awkward. “You’re an amazing captain, the best I’ve ever seen. And even though you’re captain it doesn’t mean you have to pick up everyone’s slack and carry all the responsibility.” That sounds too much like an attack, gods help him.

“What I mean,” he tries again, running a hand through his hair while closing his eyes “is that I’m here to help, kid. I’m not going to steal your spot or anything. Just...you work so hard and I don’t want you stressing too much. So it’s fine if you want to take a step back every once in a while, sit on the side and just take a few sips of water or something. And if-” his rambling is cut off by a wet sniffle and a shaky breath.

Oh hell no.

Suddenly he’s panicking. He never expected this, never in a million years.

“Hey, are you okay?” Sawamura’s head is bowed, a steady hand out of his pocket which struggles to stay steady as it wipes at tears. Ukai quickly moves closer, placing his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “Hey hey, shh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything bad by that.”

“N-no, I’m fine.” The kid contradicts himself by sniffling again. His voice is wet and forced, too small. Ukai already knows that after this he’s going to open a new pack of sigs with how bad he feels. He made Sawamura cry. “It’s just that, just...thank you.”

Ukai freezes.

“I...no one’s ever tried to take some of the responsible,” Sawamura explains. His voice sounds so small, shoulders hunched forward and arms wrapped around himself like a hug. “I don’t want to complain. I don’t want to sound too lazy.”

“Kid, have you ever cried before now?” Ukai can’t help but say. Sawamura’s laugh is humorless and cuts into Ukai. The sniffles are louder and little sobs can’t be muffled anymore. Sawamura shakes his head. A burden, by definition, is something heavy. Generally too heavy to carry on one’s own. And here’s Sawamura not just carrying his own but those of others, making sure that the rest of his team doesn’t feel the pain and hurt and disappointment that can come at any moment.

Gently, Ukai unfolds Sawamura’s arms so that he can properly hug the kid, bringing him close with a hand wrapped around his back and the other on the back of his head, lightly rubbing circles along his spine. Sawamura’s hands, so small, grip the front of Ukai’s shirt, tears quickly soaking into his shoulder.

“You’re a wonderful captain,” Keishin says, choosing to do for Daichi what he does for his team. He’s going to make sure the kid hears these words, understands, and accepts that they’re facts. “You are an amazing defensive and offensive player. You’re willing to dive for the ball at any moment, to try new plays without the fear of failure. Or even if you do have that fear you don’t let it control you. From what I’ve heard from sensei you’re also a really good student.”

He doesn’t know how much time has passed. His throat is starting to feel a bit sore and his eyes had prickled with heat at some time but the words of positivity and support never stopped flowing.

“Thank you,” Daichi mutters at long last sounding utterly exhausted. Keishin ruffles his hair and pulls him back in for a tighter hug.

The next day, Daichi is one of the last people to arrive at practice, his walk leisurely. The hoops are still down from the basketball team’s morning practice. The gym isn’t chaotic at the moment, with most of the players talking to each other or bumping a ball to each other.

Keishin watches as Daichi ignores Sugawara’s greeting. This pikes his interest. He leans forward on the bench and watches as Daichi heads to the ball cart, grabs a volleyball, and walks to where the basketball court’s half-court line is. The boy draws his arm back and launches the ball at the hoop on the other side of the gym. By some miracle, it falls through the hoop.

The gym is silent.

Hinata, Kageyama, and Nishinoya openly gape.

Tsukishima and Ennoshita look like they’re about to go into shock.

Without looking away from the hoop, Daichi points at Tanaka, who is standing by the cart.

“Give me another,” he says, finally looking over his shoulder with an expression of childish glee on his face. Nishinoya beats Daichi to getting a ball and completely fails at getting the ball even close to the hoop. The rest of the team may be confused but Keishin is happy.

This is one of Daichi’s visibly happiest moments. How can he not be happy about that?

#haikyuu!!#sawamura daichi #ukai keishin #fanfiction #parental ukai #fluff #daichi needs a hug

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zackfiar-a · 4 years

Text

FRIENDSHIP ENDED WITH SHINRA NOW AVALANCHE IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND

it took me 10 hours to write all this. i did change up canon quite a bit, but it’s generally the same in some places. i dont blame u guys if u want to skim it LOL

i rewrote zacks canon from when he joined soldier then a little bit after the Infamous Shinra Showdown PLEASE read this !!!!

i will be applying THIS canon to my portrayal for now on esp the part where he lives but knowing my dumbass, ill be forgetting pieces of canon information i meant to add before ill be adding this to his about shortly once i wake up with a better thought process

if u have any questions pls feel free to ask !!!

being a naive kid at 13 and hearing the glorifying the heroic stories of shinra and SOLDIER, zack makes leave for midgar while writing a note to his parents not to worry about him, he’s aiming for greater things; far more than what gongaga can give him. his dream is to be the wrong idea of what being a hero means, which is wanting to be loved by many and being admired simply for the fame. sephiroth could do it, so why couldn’t he? anything is better than the boring life that gongaga gave him.

at 15, he makes it into SOLDIER as a 3rd class with the sheer force of determination and the passion of not giving up, which is what his higher ups find lacking in the military chain. being young and impressionable, shinra puts into their head of the glory they give. SOLDIER and the military is what the people look up to for protection while some think of SOLDIER as just dogs. this doesn’t deter zack, genuinely thinking that shinra is doing well for midgar. during this time he gets injected with a dose of mako, which is what they give all members of SOLDIER. this enhances their abilities and strength at the cost of body degradation and the risk of dying earlier than everyone else. zack questions this: giving up literal life for power? well, shinra wouldn’t lie to him! right? if this is price of being a hero for the people, then it has to be worth it while completely clueless of the manipulation of propaganda and ideology that shinra has shoved in his face and forced to intake.

when he turns 16, he’s promoted to SOLDIER 2nd class and befriends kunsel, who helps him give more of the inside scoop of shinra. he’s one of the first real friends zack has made, even exchanging e-mails to communicate outside of missions and SOLDIER. all the while, he is put under the tutelage of angeal. he can sense the hesitance in his mentor for training an actual kid while zack thinks being in SOLDIER is all fun and games. zack hasn’t even seen the horror of the underbelly of the beast, only fighting the surface of the war and just blindly following orders (anyone who dares stand against shinra is a bad guy and aligns themselves with wutai). fortunately, zack doesn’t fully believe that. regardless, angeal teaches him what it means to be SOLDIER, something along the lines of having SOLDIER honor. he doesn’t get what angeal means by that with furrowed brows as he continues to drill that into zacks mind, ontop of zack admittance of the reason why he joined SOLDIER in the first place aka becoming a hero for shinra and the people of midgar. angeal doesn’t even try to alter that dream knowing very well that’s not something he should be aiming for, deciding to let zack figure it out for himself.

if you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams and honor. how many times zack has heard that, he would be a rich man. eventually he takes it to heart, looking up to angeal because of how wise and strong he is.

when he’s 17, angeal nominates for him to be a 1st class while being sent out to a mission in wutai. lazard says this will stop the war, but in actuality it’s used as a false sense of justice of using SOLDIER to set up another reactor in its place. zack is unaware of this, thinking of serving as justice against wutai, using this as a place and opportunity to prove himself. in the end, lazard uses zack’s tenacity and naive enthusiasm to show he could prove himself to overtake fort tamblin. ontop of that, while navigating lazard to safety, angeal is gone and is approached by sephiroth that angeal has possibly betrayed and abandoned SOLDIER.

no! angeal wouldn’t do that! that’s not the angeal i know! he tries to tell himself that. it’s now where he begins to doubt in shinra and question their motives. he’s so enraptured at the loss of his mentor, he’s stuck inside of his mind on why angeal would leave? he has honor, right? it’s not honorable to leave that what you’re loyal to. having infatuation and admiration for sephiroth, he quickly loses the shine. maybe it’s disappointment, maybe it’s the loss of his mentor. shinra had glorified the 1st class members on all forms of media, but in reality, they weren’t all that special. he takes this time to talking about the SOLDIERS (some that don’t really care for him), about shinra and why they’ve joined it while trying to see if anyone knows anything about behind the scenes. he confides in kunsel, who does give some information on former 1st class genesis and all the 3rd and 2nd classes he took with him.

going with tseng to banora, he immediately feels a sense of dread. it’s strangely quiet, especially when when he comes across angeal’s mother. while he explains to her he doesn’t know where he is, he is determined to bring him back no matter what, not knowing the meaning of his own words. finding out that genesis buried his adopted parents, tseng and zack make their way to the apple factory on the outskirts of town. tseng tells him that sephiroth was originally assigned to this mission but pushed this on zack, for selfish reasons, he thinks. he doesn’t know whether to be angry or relieved because he feels like he can convince angeal to return to shinra but angry because how cowardly can you be? when he finds out that the planes are going to bomb banora, he rushes to try and help gillian escape only to think that angeal had killed her. he feels enraged, punching him, yelling at him about honor and the fact that was his own mother. the respect for him was rapidly being lost, feeling immensely disappointed when angeal leaves without explaining himself. he comes to greatly hate genesis and seriously distrust shinra.

coming back to hq, he is promoted to SOLDIER 1st class. lazard thinks zack would be happy about his promotion, but is only met with a sad face. i don’t deserve to be SOLDIER 1st class. i don’t want it. which, this is what he wanted in the beginning, but with everything that’s happened, he feels like can’t. being unable to convince angeal, the loss of a village and the death of gillian, he feels like he’s going backward from his goal of being a hero. it doesn’t help that he’s a 1st class by default from the lack of leadership. lazard doesnt listen and hearing that genesis copies have attacked midgar. doing so, he meets cissnei. finding out that she can handle herself, he immediately hits on her but is shortly sent on a mission with sephiroth to sector 5 reactor. they look for hollander, instead they find papers for project g. seeming that sephiroth is interested in the details of the experiments, zack is appalled that genesis is a result of a failed experiment and the fact that hollander experimenting on others. is this why he took a bunch of 3rd and 2nd class SOLDIERS with him? to use them to help himself?

finally finding hollander and genesis, he chases hollander through the mako reactor to eventually come across angeal. there’s a momentary relief of seeing him again, however is quickly flooded by reddening anger. angeal tells him, because he is also a monster, he only dreams of 2 things: world domination and revenge. zack is thrown aback at the declaration, resisting the temptation to punch him again. you’re not a monster. monsters don’t have honor. they’re scared. they’re selfish, so they fight and punish the weak. you’re not like that, angeal! and then he remembers what cissnei said about wings that symbolize freedom. angels aren’t monsters. angeal after gets into a fighting position and demands that zack defend himself. hurt at the notion that he would attack him, he’s momentarily stunned. before he can get into a fighting stance or defend himself from the blow, he falls below into sector 5.

he wakes up in a church with aerith hovering over him, briefly thinking it’s his mother when he’s convinced that she’s an angel that has come to greet him in heaven. there’s a funny feeling of meeting her, but he brushes it aside and asks her for one date as a thank you for saving him. he notices the flowers, suggesting that she should sell them to make midgar happy with the motto midgar full of flowers, wallet full of money. on a little detour, zack and aerith chat while she explains she’s afraid of the sky and SOLDIER. they fight and they like it, she explains. however, zack explains that he’s a part of SOLDIER and maybe that it was a mistake that he joined in the first place. not all of them enjoy fighting for the fun of it. that some of them joined because of a childhood fantasy and it’s not at all what it’s cracked up to be. SOLDIERS motives and goals were vastly different from his own and he doesn’t know if he wants to continue to align himself with shinra. he apologies that he shouldn’t have put that all on her since they just met. though he reassures her that since his eyes are the color of the sky, there’s nothing to be scared of. he decides to take her out to see the real sky one, to reassure her that it won’t swallow her. his stay is cut short when he’s called that genesis has attacked midgar and that he should hurry back.

when aerith takes him back to the sector 5 gate, zack decides to buy aerith a pink bow as a gift for their one - day anniversary of meeting. before he leaves, he helps a guy name the bar that would later be named 7th heaven.

he makes it back to shinra hq and is ordered to go protect hojo, for hollander is probably using this as a way to kill him. finding hojo, he seems less than troubled and more annoyed about hollander. he says that SOLDIER should do their jobs as brutes and do less thinking to protect geniuses like him, which angers zack a little bit. he never really did trust him, seeming to enjoy it too much when hojo injected him mako upon first entering SOLDIER. people aren’t made to throw their lives away for someone who seems them as less than human and shows no compassion. regardless, he does his job, fighting the bahamut fury. he swore he saw angeal during the fight; genesis is gone.

months later, he’s sent to modeoheim with a couple of shinra infantryman and tseng. on the way there, the helicopter crashes and he meets cloud while the infantryman can’t quite keep up. he learns that cloud is from nibelheim and they instantly bond as being “country boys”. eventually they find a mako excavation facility, which zack takes the initiative to infiltrate while tseng and the others continue to modeoheim. he finds a bickering genesis and hollander, which he immediately aims to fight and kill him. even though he has no personal connection to genesis, he knows that he was close friends with angeal and sephiroth, and he feels like it’s his duty to finally end him. albeit hesitant, he charges forward and wins the fight with genesis while he continues to run after hollander. in the bathhouse, he finds tseng and cloud tired and beaten as they had fought angeal. they warn him to be careful. doing so, he runs into angeal and hollander.

with his sword shaking in his hand, he decides that he has to bring angeal down and stop this cycle. that as long as he’s alive then genesis will be as well. he finds out that angeal is a result of project gillian and that said gillain actually killed herself in her home. he feels so bad, so disgusting that he had accused angeal slaying his own mother. those thoughts aren’t with him for long, but he sees him combining with all of this copies to become angeal penance. this is it, this where he is where he’s going to have to slay his mentor, the man that he’s looked up to and found as a role model. angeal, his friend that he had confided so much of his secrets in, dead by his blade. it’s like the battle was over in an instant, because now angeal was on the ground, blood pouring out of his wounds whilst slowly degrading. while zack sustained injuries of his own, the most noticeable one was the x on his cheek, with blood slowly running down his neck. it doesn’t take long for him to realize that his whole intent was to kill him, while angeal still had some semblance of honor left. it wasn’t fair, he shouldn’t have to be the one to do it.

angeal weakly hands him his buster sword and tells him to remember dreams, that zack should aim to be a true member of SOLDIER and protect his honor.

when he dies, he takes a deep breath and presses the buster sword to his forehead much like angeal did before he went on missions. sorry, angeal. i can’t do that. i can’t be the SOLDIER you want me to be. my dreams… what does it even mean to be a hero? what honor do i have left as SOLDIER? as long as i stay here, i have none. i will continue to live with what’s left.

later he confides in aerith, traumatized over angeal’s death. he doesn’t want to be in SOLDIER anymore, not what’s going on behind the scenes. unfortunately, while being under the contract of shinra, he’s forced to stay in and serve as a SOLDIER 1st class.

at 18, he’s one of the few SOLDIER 1st class left, the other one being sephiroth. when interacting with a brigade of shinra troops, he tells them that if they want to be a SOLDIER, they must have dreams and honor. while the troops have said to find his speech admiring and they they look up to him with his cool, new look! it’s any rare time that he gives a somber look. don’t believe what shinra says. think for yourself. he doesn’t want to promote and encourage more people to join SOLDIER. deny them as much man power as he possibly can, even if it gets him in trouble with the higher ups. as long as he’s here, he’s under the thumb of shinra.

as a “congratulatory break”, he’s sent to costa del sol to rest and relax. except the fact that he was opposite of that. cissnei was here with him, and any other time he wouldn’t mind, but he knew why she was also on “break” with him. though he’s warned that genesis copies have been spotted, and he has no choice but to fight. a soon to be vacation was over with, when he’s also informed that hojo broke out of prison with the suspicions of lazard, who was said to have disappeared prior before. he rushes to midgar to help stop the genesis copies with the stolen tech of shinra. when he found hollander, it was too late and he escaped. lo’ and behold sephiroth has finally arrived and tells zack that his mission was deemed a failure. he’s just tired of all of this, more concerned about the towns people that caught up in the mess than hollander. at this point, he was too deep that he has no choice for hollander to seek justice for what he’s done. needless to say, he doesn’t care much about seeing sephiroth, but hearing him say he forgives him of his misdeeds relaxes him. with sephiroth’s permission to go back to midgar to see aerith, he heads off there immediately.

when he arrives at the church, he spots an angeal copy with aerith. at first assuming the worst, he aims to kill it but aerith says not to. instead, the copy protects aerith instead from an uninvited monster. zack doesn’t trust it, but leaves it in the church’s beams anyways to watch over her. he tells aerith that he’s going to be gone for a long time, and he won’t know when he’ll be coming back. so she suggests that zack makes the flower wagon he promised her long ago. when he gets the pieces together, he’s disappointed that aerith doesn’t like it but uses it anyways. he’s with her for several hours, selling flowers, but when he sees aerith being lenient with the price, he tells her not to settle for less. make your stand and not sell it for 1 lousy gil. the flowers deserve to be 10 gil a piece, at least. when a costumer comes across aerith and zack selling flowers, he tells them that it’s their dream to make midgar full of flowers. unfortunately, it isn’t a bit later that he gets a called away on his last mission. before he leaves, he tells aerith that aerith should do something for zack every time he comes to visit her, like wearing pink. he thinks pink is a really endearing color on her. he finds tseng hiding behind a piece of playground equipment, and even though he doesn’t fully trust the turks, he’s really the only one he can trust to take care of aerith, not exactly understanding tseng’s role in the first place.

when zack gets back, he finds cloud, who’s trying to round everyone up for the next mission. zack is elated and excited that finally another mission with him. he finally meets with sephiroth, accompanied by cloud and several other unnamed shinra infantryman, and sephiroth tells them they’re leaving for nibelheim. their goals there were to inspect the incoming monsters infiltrating the town and a malfunctioning reactor. although zack is surprised that cloud has his helmet on, he has his suspicions, he asks why. cloud doen’t give a direct answer, so he brushes it off, not wanting to push the issue. hearing that sephiroth doesn’t have family, he perks up when he hears him mention jenova’s name. jenova… jenova… isn’t that the cells they were using for the monsters? genesis mentioned something about that, didn’t he?

when they go check out the reactor, tifa is there and offers them around nibelheim as a tour guide, even taking pictures in the process. the reactor is now fixed, but among the pods they find monsters soaked in mako. zack is disgusted and feels bad to the people who were affected by this. what were the lads words they said to their family? what were they doing when they got kidnapped? climbing the stairs, he finds the biggest pod with jenova and he can’t help but stare at the plaque. jenova… wait, that’s sephiroth’s mother! before he can think about it more, sephiroth starts to speak. you average SOLDIER members are mako - infused humans. you’re enhanced, but you’re still human. …but then what are these things? their mako levels are exponentially higher than yours. when sephiroth explains that they are monsters spawned by mako energy and that hojo created them, it didn’t take long for zack to connect the dots. he didn’t want it to be true, but it wasn’t a coincidence that the three best friends weren’t human at all, just experimental pawns made by the scientists of shinra. zack approaches him, and tries to be careful on the subject. he didn’t want it to be true. you said “average” member. what about you? that should’ve been an instance where he kept his mouth shut.

this whole thing was no coincidence. seeing sephiroth suddenly grip his head and ask himself if he’s an abomination, that he’s not like the others. zack can’t help but wonder what’s wrong and console him or to be shoved away. makes it no better that genesis came to confirm that’s the case, blowing zack away; that sephiroth is not human because he was created from jenova, or the remains of those failed experiments. finally, when genesis leaves after sephiroth, zack rushes after him to see zack be blasted by a monster and helped by tifa. it makes sense that sephiroth possibly the strongest monster out of angeal and genesis. when he helps tifa and cloud back to the inn, he goes to check up on sephiroth, who is in the basement of the shinra basement. in a mistake of one room, he comes across a seemingly sleeping man in a coffin. oh, creepy. finding sephiroth, he is immediately shunned away with him burying his face in the books. it was his fault this happened anyways, that he had to ask why sephiroth thought he was different from the other SOLDIERS, even angeal and genesis. he was going to try again, because he wasn’t going to have sephiroth betray them too. except sephiroth continued to ignore him and even threatened him to leave. there was a terrible feeling in his gut, but there was nothing he could do, so he left to go check on cloud back at the inn.

cloud was fine, but he wanted to talk to him about tifa and the fact that he was hiding his face the whole time he was in nibelheim. it was a personal issue it seemed, but cloud said if only he was in SOLDIER, then he would be strong enough to protect tifa and others. except, zack wasn’t on board. SOLDIER is a den of monsters. don’t go inside. everything shinra has told you about it is a lie. how great it is… how it produces the best heroes in the world; they don’t settle the peace, they’re just glorified monsters. they don’t care about what happens to the people, as long as it funds their goals in the end. cloud seemed confused, wanting to know more about what he was talking about. zack has the experience of being in SOLDIER in his belt, he just wants to prevent people from being in the same situations he’s been in many times. you know, i asked myself what it meant to be SOLDIER. when i first joined, i thought i was proud to be a part of shinra. everyone talked about how great being in shinra was, but no one knows what lies in the dark. only i know the truth. cloud, do me a favor: don’t ever look in SOLDIER’s direction, before you get turned into a monster, too.

cloud is still confused, but agrees with him regardless because he was someone who looked greatly up to zack, and it must be serious if he’s saying stuff like this too. though he couldn’t help but ask if zack was considered a monster also. zack doesn’t answer for a long moment, even considering. … i might be. all monsters are infused with mako energy afterall. wouldn’t it make sense if i were one? cloud doesn’t know how to answer it, so he nods towards the buster sword, telling zack that’s never seen him use it. zack picks up angeal’s sword and thinks. this is a symbol of my dreams and honor. it was a symbol of angeal’s burden of SOLDIER honor, not his own. no, it’s not. it’s symbol of my freedom, when i finally leave SOLDIER for good. when i make up all the wrongs it’s done to the innocent people of midgar. this is a symbol for… my own honor. this is proof that i am alive and that i exist. who gives a damn about SOLDIER anyways? no, he wasn’t a monster and never will be one. he’s a kind, and cares for others. do monsters do that? he smiles at cloud and sets down the blade. he thanks him while going straight to sleep. cloud doesn’t even have a say in what for.

a week passes. zack hasn’t seen sephiroth in town and every time he visits him, he is shoved away and ignored. it doesn’t even look like he’s been sleeping. it’s his horror when he wakes up to the increased heat in october and the smell of smoke that he finds out nibelheim is on fire. going to confront sephiroth, he sees tifa curled up, cursing shinra and SOLDIER. he meets him in the reactor where he’s talking to jenova, which he fights him not soon afterwards. just like genesis and angeal, monsters from experiments. sephiroth is no longer the man he had once trusted and admired, so he must either kill him or try and talk him out his hazed trance of god superiority. which is pathetic to think about, because if he couldn’t convince angeal, what makes him think he can talk to sephiroth? zack is striked down, too weak to fight on, so seeing cloud approach, he begs for him to finish sephiroth off. for what he’s seen, it looks like killed him. that victory is short lived when he becomes unconscious.

for the next 4 years, his dreams died as fast as he desired them. he vaguely remembers such unjust experiments done to him; pumping in so much mako and the power of jenova cells it feels like the flesh is melting off his bones and his heart pounds heavily in his chest. zack doesn’t even realize it’s been 4 years, maybe several days max when he sees angeal’s image in his sleep. he tries to scream for him, but nothing comes out. he bangs on the glass, but there’s no sound. the next few seconds flash by, and now he’s on the ground in some lab. where was he? that didn’t matter. he’s free now, and he’s see cloud in a pod that was next to his own. from then on, it was his duty to take care of cloud until he woke up. it didn’t matter if he didn’t wake up for 3 months, he was still going to be by his side. it’s the least he could do, he owes him so much for getting cloud involved in this mess.

when he’s finally able to change his clothes, he realizes upon closer inspection that cloud is suffering from severe mako poisoning. he’s seen it in several SOLDIER members who were addicted to it, like they were in such a catatonic state it took them a day to several to get over it. he can’t imagine the intake he has taken, but zack was fine, already being infused with it previously.

he takes cloud to the coast of a beach that wasn’t far from nibelheim, but by the time he got there, it was night time. he didn’t mind, he needed a break anyways and they had to wait it out until morning because of all the shinra patrols. which, has hasn’t figured out why there were so many to begin with. he’s approached by cissnei, but she wasn’t here for a friendly conversation, her weapon drawn. she asks if he’s the runaway specimen, which gives zack the idea that while he got his wish of no longer being a SOLDIER, he is now seen nothing as an experiment gone wrong. that’s not quite what he had mind, but also finding out that being gone for 4 years makes sense, being presumed dead when he was captured. how was he supposed to function in this world now when it’s moved on and you’re left behind? it was cissnei’s orders to capture him alive, but zack would be dead than rather to be back in shinra’s hands. seeing her able to actually put up a fight, zack escapes to meet back up with cloud. cissnei comes back, but offers him her peace, and a vehicle for them to runaway in. he thanks cissnei, and cloud and zack attempt to back to midgar, while trying to run from shinra.

another year passes, he sees genesis on the road, which he’s been told that zack’s “gift of the goddess”. becoming captured, a genesis clone eats some of his hair to help stop his degradation, except the cells had adapted to zack’s body, having already intaken mako in the past. the clone transforms into a monster, which zack has to fight to pass. he does, becoming more frustrated and angry until he reaches gongaga. he decides to make a pit stop, but cissnei finds him, telling that his hometown is such an obvious place for shinra to find zack. except he spots a white wing and a flash of angeal’s face.

he leaves cissnei and goes to chase the figure, finding out it’s lazard who had become an angeal copy. once wanting revenge and filled with anger, absorbing angeal’s cells caused him to have a strong will and the desire to help out zack. he’s degrading, and it shows by the withered feathers. unexpectedly, he asks what zack’s dreams were. this time, he takes serious consideration. no longer someone of shinra or SOLDIER, he’s free to do whatever he pleases, however now that’s very sure in his goal, he tells lazard that he wants to a hero. this time, not for fame or to see how great people are. if he can save one person, then he can be a hero. if he can help at least one person, then that’s good enough for him. he doesn’t care about fame, or the glory that comes with a praised name. that’s boring and not for him at all. lazard laughs and tells him exactly what he had said before when he first asked those years ago: unattainable dreams are the best kind.

genesis and hollander find them, which hollander now has become a genesis clone. genesis informs him that cloud is the last bearer of pure s - cells. upon them trying to take it, zack officially kills hollander at last, which he leaves cloud with a wounded lazard. zack finally gets the hint with the constant banora apples he always holds that genesis works from banora. he asks a dying lazard to look after cloud as he goes to finish off a further degrading genesis. he chases him underground and finds and finishes him. after all this time, he can’t feel the harbor of anger and hatred he once had towards genesis, but now only pity and sadness. all this for a shred of immortality, just because he was afraid of dying. however, he can’t forgive all those people he’s captured and extracted for any hopes to stop his degradation process as a failed experiment. he leaves genesis down in the banora underground where the lifestream goes through.

coming back to the surface, he sees lazard dead with the angeal copy that had protected aerith in her church. zack rests with cloud when the last angeal copy to dies, thanking it for protecting aerith this whole time while he was away. with his new found motivation, zack hitches with cloud on the back of a truck on the way to midgar. zack tells him that he wants to become a mercenary, any job that’s dangerous or boring, as long as it has pay. he also informs cloud that he’ll join him too, because they’re friends, right? he also has “conversations” with a continued catatonic cloud about how he can’t wait for him to meet aerith. zack thinks the two of them will get along perfectly, like they’re two peas in a pod. also recalling how cloud had issues with talk about tifa, he hopes that cloud gets that resolved because he’s sure tifa misses him a lot and wants him to come home (which, it’s unfortunately no longer nibelheim). zack continues to talk to cloud about nonsense, even silly stories about being in SOLDIER. he says once that kunsel had e - mail’d him like crazy when he mysteriously found that he was still alive. it’s like he’s too ashamed to face him now.

he spots a shinra road block, which zack thanks the driver and sets cloud to the side, telling him he’ll be right back. he’s convinced that he will die here but he will continue to fight for his freedom as long as he was associated with SOLDIER in any time frame. that’s fine with him. approaching him, he gives a sigh and a shake of his head. then pressing the blade to his forehead, he speaks to himself. whatever happens, protect your dreams… and your honor. fight for your freedom and your right to exist! come and get it! before charging at the army in his wake.

it feels like the battle went on for hours, being targeted at several different directions. the weight of the buster sword was becoming too heavy, his arms feeling like lead and legs feeling like jello. dodge a bullet there, block a punch there. even several summons later, it like his body was running on auto - drive. he’s lost vision in one eye, but he can still fight. the pain is numbed by the adrenaline running through his body and how his lungs are struggling for air with every swing he takes. was he really going to die here? his first mistake was believing in shinra’s ideals and goals, and continuing to follow them, what kind of idiot was him? quickly went down from being a respectable, admirable leadership to someone who’s the lowest of the low. shinra won’t keep midgar safe. everyone is pawns, they’re all expendable. they don’t care about its people, they will sacrifice as many as they can. what’s their end goal? he doesn’t know. he just wants to right all the wrongs he’s done, all the ignorant stuff he’s said. it’s all over. he owes the people.

i’m sorry. i’m sorry.

it’s almost a hour later, his back is laid against the bloodied ground with a cloudy sky above him with the hilt of the blade loosely being held in his hand. did he… make it? his heart rate is slow but as long as he can still move. was cloud okay? that was his main concern. cloud… his voice is quiet, rasp as he struggles to sit up. blood is pouring down his face and neck, a rib was cracked, but that was the last thing on his mind. cloud, we did it. there’s a very weak smile on his face, his left eye is non - functional, and he’s using his buster sword as a crutch. a rather pathetic sight. did you see that? he finds cloud resting exactly where he rested him. good, he’s so relieved. he struggles to pick cloud up, but with his arm held across his shoulders, he’s wincing and in so much pain, but they had to keep moving. we’re almost there. then he can see aerith again, the freedom of the sky of his victory well won.

however, he collapses upon half way making it to midgar, unconscious from blood loss, but when he wakes up, he’s at the slums sector 7 train station. he looks at his side and see cloud still knocked out. he’s safe. he’s spotted by tifa, who regonizes cloud and brings them back to the apartments. zack is treated by a doctor, with 2 cracked ribs and a loss of his left eye, which is covered up with a bandaged eye patch. cloud is still catatonic, however slowly regaining consciousness, as he is showing more body function than he has in the past year. while recovering, zack is introduced to avalanche, who’s goal was to fight against shinra and their greedy destruction of the planet. zack decides to still work as a mercenary while aiding avalanche, to take back what they’ve killed and caused chaos with. he decides to take tifa to the side and apologize for what happened in nibelheim and her dad, even feeling solely responsible.

when zack is able to fight, he takes up the job to help bomb a reactor, albeit hesitant, and helping up around the sector 7 slums with the neighborhood watch, even going to the sector 5 slums and reuniting with aerith. even after all this, he still maintains a positive face, joking with the lack of a brain cell.

however, bombing the reactor has tied him with shinra once again, instead of being a SOLDIER 1st class, he’s an escaped fugitive; a betrayer of shinra. the events after this is still to be determined.

#m.#my eyes hurt ............. ill be back later after taking a nap or something

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coralstudiies · 4 years

Note

Apart from selective hearing, how do u try and not be put fown by ppl like yr family and annoying ppl at sch, and focus on ur studies n be happy at the same time? It was easy in my younger days, now it requires substantial effort. How do b mentally happy n free, n be productive and study well too? Everyone thinks I can't make it to a junior college.

well for those people at school i’ll suggest outright ignoring them. by giving them a response you’re ‘rewarding’ their behavior and thus they��ll feel like continuing to do/say nasty things. as for parents, don’t argue or talk back (u know the drill lol sometimes its better to shut up) and just take in a few deep breaths to calm yourself.

tbh to be happy and free is like,, it rly lies in adjusting your own mindset bcos face it these kinda trash ppl are everywhere so you will never be in an environment in positive vibes only. sometimes you need to let go and i cant rly teach you how to do that bcos i think its smt that ppl have to learn for themselves.

now one issue you may face is worrying about such people and such comments. I’d say if this affects you, learn to guard and use your time. don’t spend like 1 hr dreading the moment when you have to meet/interact with them because that means your brain isnt focused and even worse, you’re trapping yourself in a perpetual state of tension which isnt good for your mental health. rather than letting negative ppl cloud your mind, try to strike up positive conversations with people around you, or just think happy thoughts or listen to your fav songs. it can be hard, but that’s because it’s not a habit yet. think of it as ‘trading’. whenever a negative thought enters your mind, exchange it for a positive one. it doesn’t even have to be related. for example: ‘oh man, felicia’s talking shit about me again’ turns into ‘hey, the weather’s pretty nice today!’ or ‘i feel like drinking bubble tea, i’ll get one for myself later’. make it a habit! it’s difficult but also rewarding. not just for your mental health, but also your grades (you wont be thinking about nasty ppl while you’re doing math problems which is already nasty enough HAHAHA)

another tip to counter negativity is to refocus your thoughts around these ppl. pay attention to and observe how your thoughts and mood change near these negative individuals. notice the telltale signs in your own brain that they’re going to ruin your day. and then squish it! it’s easier to think ‘ok, i know that nagging/horrible comments are inevitable, but rn i have a task at hand so i will not give it any thought’ if you know that you’re gonna start reacting to their presence. i assume you’ll be around such people most of the time, so in those periods of time, the less time you spend fretting, stressing and rehashing, the more time you’ll have to devote to actual productivity. it may be painful to directly tackle your negative thoughts (even more so when negative ppl are in the vicinity) but this one is rly crucial if you wanna get your work done. note the difference between this and the first: the first is when you find yourself worrying about such ppl even when you’re not around them, the second is when you have no choice but to be near them. also the second one has no ‘trade’ of thoughts so that you don’t distract yourself. learn which solution is the most appropriate for each scenario! you dont wanna compromise your productivity,

of course, you can always seek out positive people who genuinely care about you and love you and support you. at least your mind wont always be clouded by negativity, harsh, rude or discouraging words, and that might motivate you to study harder.

like i said a lot of it is in the mind. you need to learn to let go -- of those ppl, their words and of yourself. like seriously i think it’s more important to let go of yourself. the more you torture yourself by letting them get to you (because these ppl will always be trying to get to you, and you rly have to try to not let that happen ok? i know it’s hard but tell yourself you’re a strong lady/man and your capabilities are not determined by someone else’s idea of you) the more you’re never gonna get out of this vicious cycle of self-pity. so start now, take things lightly, have a routine, form positive, self-care habits and then you’ll be on your way to better days and better grades :^)

(anon im so sorry, i rly have not much ideas on how to help you because i relied a lot on this selective hearing so much that i numbed myself to negative and positive ppl lol HAHA but im sure you’ll be able to go JC ok! work hard and never give up! have faith! and if u need help you can always dm me or send asks)

#coralstudiies #asks

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tiny-opal-essence · 5 years

Text

Pocket Paladin Chpt 8

Training

“Good morning paladins! I hope you didn’t forget about training today. I expect to see you all on the training deck in 15 doboshes. Every dobosh one of you is late, that’s an extra 5 doboshes more training for everyone before breakfast.”

Lance groaned as Allura’s voice rang over the comms.

Why does everything have to be so loud from this perspective?

He sat up and groggily rubbed his eyes. The bed creaked behind him as Keith did the same. He climbed off of his jacket and onto the nightstand while Keith walked over to the wall. Keith pressed his hand against the hidden panel and the closet opened.

It is amazing how you wouldn’t even know the closet was there. There aren’t even lines in the wall giving it away. Alien technology is pretty cool.

Keith started taking off his shirt, causing Lance to let out a small *gasp* at seeing him shirtless.

Mmm, those back muscles…Not now bi thoughts!

Keith turned towards him when he heard Lance, giving him an even better view of his chest.

“Do you mind? Don’t be weird. Just turn around.” Keith said.

“Sorry!” Lance turned away from Keith while trying to get his face to cool down.

Like he said, don’t be weird.

‘You know he doesn’t like you in that way.’

I know he’s straight, but I can still appreciate how good he looks.

‘But what would he think of you if he found out about your little crush?’

That’s why he’s not going to find out.

While Lance was thinking, Keith was going through something similar.

Keith had almost forgotten that Lance was in the room with him before he had *gasped*. He didn’t know why Lance seeing him shirtless was making him feel so weird. His cheeks felt warm and there was an odd tightness in his chest. Was he feeling embarrassed? He’d never felt embarrassed about his body before. Was he worried about Lance somehow using this against him? No. Whatever it was, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it as he finished getting dressed in his paladin armor. He didn’t have time to figure it out, as both he and Lance had to get down to the training deck.

“Are you done?” Lance asked his back still facing Keith.

“Yes. Are you?” Keith responded.

“I don’t have anything else to change into, so yeah.”

“Didn’t Pidge say that your armor had shrunk too? She gave that back, right?”

“Not yet. She wanted to try to boost the signal from it since it got scaled down. So for now, all I’ve got is the healing pod outfit. Lucky me.”

Lance’s outfit was starting to look less pristine than the day before. He wished that some of his other outfits had been shrunk too, like his jacket or even just his jeans. It would let him feel a bit of normalcy. He was glad that the picture of his family hadn’t been shrunk. If it had and he had lost it, there would be no way he would ever find it.

“We should get going before we’re late,” Lance said.

“Good idea. Do you want to go on my shoulder again?” Keith placed his hand down in front of Lance who quickly climbed on.

“Yeah. I like being closer to everyone else’s eye level. Less looking up or down on both sides.” Lance sat down between the collar of Keith’s armor and his neck and grabbed onto his hair once more. “Onwards, noble steed!”

“Really, Lance?”

“Hey, do you want to be late for training? Less talking more walking.”

Keith let out a slightly annoyed *huff* and started heading towards the training deck.

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“I’m glad to see you’re all on time for once.” Allura glanced over at Lance when she said the last part. The others didn’t seem to notice.

Why does she have to say that? It’s not like I try to be late.

“Shiro suggested we do some more mind melding exercises due to the change in who’s piloting which lion. Everyone grab a headset.”

“What about me? I don’t think those come in my size.” Lance pointed out.

“Oh, that’s right. You can help monitor everything with Coran.” Allura decided.

“Ok.” Mind melding exercises may not have been Lance’s favorite, but he thought he could at least participate in them somehow like this.

“Don’t worry, my boy. There’s not much to it.” Coran assured Lance as he was handed over to him.

That’s not what I was worried about, but thanks.

“After breakfast, I can try to make one of these for you.” Hunk offered. “It might take a bit, but with some reverse engineering I should be able to figure it out.”

“I can help. I’d love to know more about how they work.” Pidge added on.

“That sounds like a good plan, but we shouldn’t waste any more training time,” Shiro commented.

Good to know my friends worrying about me is considered wasting time.

“Shiro’s correct. We should get started.” Allura stated as everyone except Coran went to sit in a circle.

“Alright paladins, you know the drill. Close your eyes and think about your connection with your lion.” Coran said.

Green and Yellow’s holograms popped up in front of Pidge and Hunk almost instantly. Blue appeared for Allura hardly a moment later.

“Excellent, Allura. Your bond with Blue has grown much stronger as of late.” Coran commented.

How come she’s so much better at this than I am?

‘You know why. It’s clear to anyone that Allura is the best choice for blue paladin.’

Well…Blue picked me first!

‘But she also abandoned you first, didn’t she? She cut you off as soon as someone better came along.’

While Lance was sorting through his thoughts, Keith was having a little trouble focusing. The lion in front of him kept switching between Red and Black. After a few seconds, Red appeared.

Shiro was having a similar struggle. Black would appear in front of him for hardly a moment before fizzling out in a burst of purple. It was obvious to anyone watching that he was trying to focus, but it had been so long since he remembered connecting with Black.

“Patience yields focus,” Keith said as the others felt Shiro’s struggle through the mind meld.

“I should have known you’d use that against me.” Shiro took a deep breath. Slowly, Black came into focus in all her glory.

“Well done paladins! It’s amazing how quickly you’re getting the hang of this new arrangement! Why I think you’ve done it faster than the paladins of old. Now, focus on Voltron.”

They’re better without me?

‘Of course they are. You were just holding them back.’

Slowly, the lions all moved towards the center of the circle. The arms and legs formed perfectly. As Black came closer to the others, her image shifted to form the head. Before it could connect with the rest of Voltron, the image became distorted and changed to something much more frightening.

Shiro ripped off the headset and stood up when he saw the face of Haggar appear. His breathing was heavy as the others removed their headsets.

“Are you ok, Shiro?” Hunk asked.

“To be honest, I’m not sure. Even though I’m free, it still feels like she’s holding me captive somehow.” He rubbed at his temples to try and get rid of his headache.

“That’s understandable. You were a prisoner for a while. It takes time to adjust back to normal.” Pidge said.

“There’s a part of me that feels like this is wrong, that it’s all some illusion she cast to trick me.”

“I assure you, this is real.” Allura grabbed Shiro’s hand.

“Yeah, if it was an illusion, do you think she would have had me be like this?” Lance gestured to himself.

“Haha, probably not,” Shiro responded with a smile.

“We’re here for you, Shiro.” Hunk said.

“We won’t let her get to you,” Keith added on.

“Thanks. I was hoping the mind-melding might help me get my thoughts together, or remember more of what happened, but it’s still mostly blank. I think I remember the second letter of the project name. It might be a u or maybe a double o. Definitely an oo sound, but that’s all I got.”

“Ok, so with that, we now have K or C followed by u or oo. So it’s a coo like sound.” Hunk thought out loud.

“Couldn’t it also be qu for the name?” Lance suggested.

“Maybe. Ok, so we’re a little bit closer to figuring out the name of the project.” Hunk added on.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t remember more,” Shiro said.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Shiro. Going through something like that and being willing to dig through the traumatic memories is a show of great courage.” Coran responded.

“It doesn’t feel very courageous.”

“It is. Courage cannot erase our fears, courage is when we face our fears.” Lance said.

“Where’d you hear that?”

“Newsies.”

“Of course your advice comes from a musical,” Keith commented.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“How about we all go get some breakfast?” Hunk stopped the argument before it could grow out of control. “Now seems like a good time for a break.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Allura added on.

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“It looks like he’s remembering more than we expected at this point,” Axha said.

“We’ll just have to move the time table forward then,” Lotor stated.

“But what if he remembers too much?” Ezor asked.

“That is of no concern to us now.”

“He seems to be having some doubts about being on the team. He is also acting slightly different than expected.” Axha pointed out.

“Not to worry. Any differences in his behavior will be written off as a side effect of being a prisoner. We need to keep monitoring the situation to make sure it stays that way for as long as possible.”

Kova *meowed* in agreement on Narti’s shoulder.

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After breakfast, Pidge, Hunk, and Lance had gone back to the training deck to get the mind meld headsets to bring to the workbench. They were eager to see how they worked so they could make one for Lance at his new height. Pidge had also finished boosting the signal in Lance’s paladin armor so the comms could reach as far as at normal height. Lance was just glad to have another outfit to wear besides the healing pod outfit.

Hunk was carefully taking apart one of the headsets while Pidge was digging through information in a book Coran had found for them in the library. Lance was sitting on the scale with Chuchule so they were out of the way.

“It looks like there should be sensors on the forehead, temples, and behind the ears.” Pidge looked at the blueprint in the text.

“I think I see them. Does it say anything about how to remove them?” Hunk asked.

“No, just information on who created them. Nothing on how they get an electroencephalography either.”

“What’s an electro-sif-ography?” Lance asked.

“Electroencephalography. It’s a way of measuring brainwaves. The sensors read the changes in the electrical field from the ionic current in your brain neurons.” Hunk responded as he reached for the pliers on the back wall of the workbench.

“Wait, brains have electricity?”

“Yep. There’s enough electricity in the brain to power a low-watt light bulb, though yours might only power a single Christmas light.” Pidge smirked at Lance before looking back in the book.

Was that a dig at my height, or my intelligence?

‘Both’

Hunk had the tip of his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth as he concentrated on removing one of the sensors with the pliers. He was so focused on the task at hand that he hadn’t heard the last bit of Pidge’s response to Lance. Slowly, but surely, the sensor was coaxed out.

“Got it!” Hunk grabbed the microscope and placed the sensor on a slide.

Hunk and Pidge started talking excitedly about the technology. Most of it went over Lance’s head because engineering wasn’t his forte. He decided to talk to Chuchule.

“How’s your day going?”

Chuchule gave him a thumbs up then pointed at him with an inquisitive look on her face.

“Mine’s going as good as can be expected. I’m still tiny, which sucks. No offense meant.” Lance was worried he might have accidentally insulted Chuchule since he was shrunk down to a similar height to her.

Chuchule waved one of her front paws and shook her head to show that it didn’t offend her.

“It’s just…yeah. How do you handle being this small?”

Chuchule shrugged her shoulders.

“I guess you always being like this makes it easier. Maybe you and the others can show me the ropes.”

Chuchule nodded enthusiastically before refocusing on what Pidge and Hunk were doing.

Pidge put the headset on the slide and looked at where the sensor had been. She and Hunk gushed more about the technology and what substitutes could potentially be used to make it in Lance’s size.

“It’ll have to be a helmet instead of a headset because of the size, but I think that will work.” Hunk said.

“We might have to visit the space mall to get some of the supplies.” Pidge thought out loud.

“Oooh! Can we go to the earth store when we go?” Lance was excited at the prospect of seeing something from home.

“Ummm. I don’t think you’ll be coming with if we go.” Hunk sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.

“Why not? It’s just the mall.”

“You got into trouble at your normal height last time we were there,” Pidge said.

I remember you getting in trouble right next to me. Heck, we all got in trouble

“We all got in trouble last time-” Hunk began.

Thank you!

“-but there’s just too many people for it to be safe.”

“How is that any different from coming along on a recon mission?”

“For recon, we’re not trying to be seen and we would have our helmet comms. We can’t wear our helmets in the space mall. There, we would be talking to people, it would be loud, and if something happened, we might not realize until it’s too late.” Hunk replied.

“Don’t forget about the swap moons.”

“True, true. It’s just too risky.”

“Oh,” Lance said dejectedly.

“I can try to get a shark keychain for you if you want.” Hunk offered.

“Thanks.” Lance smiled slightly.

Hunk looked over at Pidge’s laptop and saw what time it was.

“We should go get some lunch before afternoon training starts.”

“Good idea,” Pidge said. Both she and Hunk placed a hand down in front of Lance as he climbed off of the scale.

“Uh, well, this is awkward,” Lance said as he looked between their hands.

“I want to carry him,” Hunk said.

“You already carried him here, I want a turn.”

“He’s my best friend.”

“Well, he’s my friend too.”

“Guys, please. There’s plenty of me to go around.” Lance had his hands up in a calm down fashion.

Pidge let out a snicker before apologizing.

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be laughing, but it’s just funny hearing you say that when you’re so tiny. I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, that’s why I said it. Gotta try to have fun with this situation, right?”

“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Hunk said.

“Me too.”

“I’ve got an idea for figuring out who gets to carry you-” Pidge started.

Is it letting me decide?

“-Rock, paper, scissors.”

Of course not.

“How about winner gets to bring you to lunch, loser brings you to training?” Hunk suggested.

“Sounds good. Best of 3? Rock, Paper, Scissors!”

Every time their fists hit their palms, it reminded Lance of the close call with Shiro’s fist the day before. He knew that Shiro didn’t mean to do that, though he noticed that Shiro had been standing further away from him than the others after that event.

Shiro’s the only one who hasn’t held me like this. Is he worried that he might hurt me? Space-dad would never do that…at least, not on purpose.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard Pidge let out a *whoop* of victory.

“Yes! I won!” She pumped her fists in the air. She came close to hitting the workbench and knocking Lance over the edge in her excitement.

“Fine, Kaitlyn.” Hunk yielded.

“Closer, but still not my name.” Pidge put her hand in front of Lance and the three of them went to get lunch.

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Keith and Shiro were also walking through the castle ship to get some food.

“How’s Lance rooming with you going?”

“Fine.”

“Have you two built any bridges yet?” Shiro said with a slightly teasing voice.

“No. Maybe. He talked about his family a bit. They seem nice.”

“It’s good to know you’re getting along better with him.”

“It’s kind of hard to talk with Lance.”

“Why is that?” Shiro looked over at Keith.

“I think it’s partially how we butt heads so much and another part it’s hard to get a word in. He can be so frustrating sometimes and then he says something I don’t understand. I still don’t get why the chant can’t just be ‘Voltron.’ It doesn’t have to be complicated!”

“If it’s that frustrating, we could see about him rooming with someone else.”

“No!” Keith and Shiro were both surprised by how quickly Keith responded. “I mean, I’m the safest option for him to room with. And like you said, we could build some bridges. I want to get along with him.”

“That’s good to hear. I hope you’re willing to open up to him as well.”

“That might take a while.”

“I know. I still remember how long it took you to open up to me.” Shiro let out a small laugh.

“That was years ago, Shiro. You can stop bringing it up, you know.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell the others. Let’s go eat.” Shiro said as they walked towards the kitchen door.

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“Am I the only one that thinks it’s a bad idea to train right after eating?” Hunk asked as everyone walked from the kitchen to the training deck.

“I agree,” Lance said from his position in Hunk’s hands. “If you have to wait an hour before swimming, it should be the same with training.”

“Lance, that’s an old wives tale,” Pidge commented.

“The reason we are training so soon after eating is because we don’t know when Voltron will next be needed. We will not always have the luxury of time to prepare.” Allura explained.

“I don’t see how this applies to me since I really can’t participate in the training,” Lance said.

“You are not getting out of training just because you went and got yourself shrunk, Lance,” Allura said with a strict tone.

Hey, I didn’t “get myself shrunk”. I stopped the spell from hitting Keith, but she’s making it sound like I wanted this to happen to me. I mean, sure, there have been times I’ve wanted to get out of training, but I wouldn’t shrink to do that.

“Well, what can I do? My bayard didn’t shrink with my armor and I can’t exactly fight the gladiator at this height.”

“We will find a way for you to participate.” Allura snapped before apologizing. “Sorry.”

“Are you ok, Allura?” Shiro asked.

“Yes, I was just up late reading last night. I don’t mean to be so curt. I believe I am merely tired.” She responded as they made their way onto the training deck. “Let’s get started.”

Hunk brought Lance over to a raised section of the floor which put him at about chest height with the others. Allura began leading the group in some stretching exercises.

It seemed that Lance hadn’t lost any of his flexibility, which he was glad for. It was one thing that was still normal.

After 5 quintants of that, Allura switched gears.

“Today, we are going to face the gladiator. Coran has upgraded it with the help of Slav’s blueprints, so it should provide more of a challenge.”

“What about me?” Lance asked.

“You can work on your endurance by running laps on the platform.” Allura decided. “Strength and endurance are both equally important in subduing an enemy.”

“Don’t worry, the gladiator won’t target you. It’s already been programmed to not go after the space mice, so it should perceive you as one of them and avoid you.” Coran stated.

“Ok,” Lance responded.

Should I feel offended by that? I mean, I know I’m a similar height to the space mice, but is that really enough for me to be written off as not mattering?

‘Looks like you answered your own question.’

“I wonder if we could build a tiny treadmill for you.” Hunk thought out loud.

“Or we could avoid going through all that trouble and just get a hamster wheel. Haha.” Pidge suggested.

I’m not some kind of pet!

“As adorable as that sounds-“ Shiro tried to hide his smile “-that would be a bit demeaning to Lance.”

“What is a hamster? And why would it need a wheel?” Coran asked.

“A hamster is a type of pet back on earth. They’re similar looking to the space mice, but a bit bigger. A hamster wheel is a wheel that is held off the ground that they can run in place in to exercise.” Hunk answered.

“That’s a very practical piece of equipment,” Allura commented.

“It is, until you remember they’re nocturnal and are always running like crazy when you’re trying to sleep.” Keith’s tone let everyone know he was speaking from experience.

“Didn’t take you for the hamster type,” Lance said.

“I’m not. It wasn’t mine.”

“Well then whose-” Lance started to ask before Allura interrupted.

“We should focus on the task at hand. There’s still training to be done.”

Again with the talking over me. Why?

Allura got in her stance. “Whenever you’re ready, Coran.”

“Paladins in position?” Coran said from the control panel at the edge of the room. “Go!”

The gladiator-bot dropped from the ceiling and wasted no time in picking its first target. With every lap that Lance made on the stand, someone else was facing the robot. Pidge. Hunk. Shiro. Allura. Hunk again. Keith. Back to Shiro. Lance found himself slowing down as he watched the rest of the team train.

“Keep running, Lance. This is no time to be slacking off.” Allura called out.

How did she even know I had slowed down? She was facing the other way. Do Alteans have eyes in the back of their heads?

Lance picked up the pace, but still took notice of who was facing the gladiator-bot. Keith. Allura. Pidge. Hunk.

Ooo that had to hurt.

Lance winced as the floor opened up beneath Hunk. The room it brought those who fell in training to was actually right next door with a one-way wall/door kind of thing so they could still watch the others train and see ways they could improve. The bot continued fighting with its staff.

Shiro. Pidge. Allura.

And the robot just threw her across the room. Ok.

Keith. Pidge. Shiro. Pidge.

That might leave a bruise.

Shiro. Keith. Still Keith. Now Shiro. Back to Keith. Shiro once more.

Why is it looking at me? Shiro and Keith are both on the other side of it.

Lance stopped running and stared back at the robot.

And now it’s moving closer. Oh quiznak!

Lance backed up to the edge of the ledge. He knew he wouldn’t survive if he jumped off, but he didn’t have anywhere to go. That was the most distance he could put between himself and the gladiator that was now targeting him.

The gladiator raised up its staff and started to bring it down towards Lance.

There was a terrible *clang* as Lance dove out of the way on the platform. He looked up and saw that Keith had managed to get all the way across the room to stop the blow. He couldn’t see his eyes since his back was facing him, but given that Keith was growling slightly, he was willing to bet they were yellow.

In his hurry to protect Lance, Keith wasn’t able to get in a strong stance. The gladiator shoved him out of the way and the floor opened up around him. The robot raised its staff once more, but before it could strike, it was stabbed through from behind by Shiro's prosthetic. Keith’s attack had distracted the gladiator long enough for Shiro to get to Lance.

Lance covered his head with his arms as small pieces of the robot fell around him. The door in the one-way wall opened and the rest of the team ran over to him.

“Lance! Are you ok?!” Hunk asked.

“I’m still in one piece.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I thought you said that it wouldn’t target him?” Keith glared over at Coran.

“It shouldn’t have.” Coran was opening panels and looking at the wiring to see what had happened. “It should only target paladins, unless we’re doing a protection exercise. Why did it go after Lance?”

“It might be that the system still sees Lance as a paladin.” Pidge ran over to help Coran figure out what had gone wrong. “The tracker in his helmet still works even after it was shrunk, so it must be picking up on that. We might just have to erase Lance’s data from the system.”

“But I have the best score for the shooting range!”

“You can get the high score again once you’re back to normal,” Shiro assured.

“I believe now is a good time to be done with training. We’ve had enough scares for one day. We will continue this session tomorrow.” Allura decided.

“I could really go for a shower right now,” Lance said.

“That won’t be happening for a while. You might wind up going down the drain. That, and the water pressure would definitely knock you off your feet.” Pidge stated.

“Well, then what would you suggest?”

“…I think I’ve got an idea.” Hunk ran out of the room.

“Well don’t just stand there. Let’s see what his idea is.” Pidge said.

Pidge, Allura, and Coran ran after Hunk. Keith started toward the door.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Shiro pointed to Lance.

“Can’t you grab him?”

“Why can’t you?”

“You’re the only one who hasn’t had a chance to carry him,” Keith responded.

“Yeah, and you should do it soon, cause I won’t be like this for much longer.”

I hope.

“I don’t feel comfortable carrying him. I still feel on edge and I’m worried something would go wrong. We’ve had enough close calls for one day.”

“Come on, Shiro. When else are you going to get a chance to carry someone in the palm of your hands?” Lance asked.

“I would rather not literally hold your life in my hands. What if my arm glitches and you get hurt?”

“Pidge checked for any glitches. You’re in the clear.” Keith responded.

“I have this nagging feeling that there’s something we missed.”

“If you’re that worried, I can just hitch a ride with Keith. It’s not a big deal. Let’s just go see what Hunk’s idea is.”

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“That was risky, Narti. If they had suspected tampering with the gladiator, they could have discovered our virus.” Axha commented.

Cova *meowed* on Narti’s shoulder.

“You have to admit, it was pretty brilliant,” Zethrid added on. “And watching them fall all over themselves to protect him was priceless.”

“Yeah, if we hadn’t been studying them so much, we wouldn’t have known they would blame it on operator error.” Ezor contributed.

“Nevertheless, it was a risky endeavor. If he had been killed, this would be all for naught. We must tread lightly in our spying.” Lotor reminded his team of what was at stake. “Everything depends on getting him alone.”

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Hunk’s idea had been a bowl. He had explained that since it’s what the space mice used, the same could apply to Lance because he’s a similar height to them.

It was kind of like taking a bath in a hot tub, albeit one without jets, but still nice. Having to have someone be in the room with him was annoying, even though he knew he was only there in case something happened.

Keith was sitting on the floor, back against the nightstand the bowl was on. He had only commented a little bit about how many different products Lance used. Shampoo, conditioner, face mask stuff, and a few other ones that Keith couldn’t identify for the life of him.

The bottles were set up on the edge of the nightstand to act as a wall to give Lance some privacy. There were small amounts of the different products on the edges of the bowl for easy access, small being a relative term. A washcloth was hanging on the edge of the bowl so Lance could get in and out on his own.

There was an extra set of the black under armor on the nightstand next to Lance’s dirty one. Lance hoped that Coran was right in that it would shrink to fit, otherwise he’d only have the outfit he was shrunk in and the healing pod outfit.

Lance looked down at his hands.

“*gasp* I’m pruning!”

“That tends to happen when you spend so much time in the water,” Keith commented.

“Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to go swimming, so I’m going to enjoy this as long as possible. Besides, I still have a minute until I can rinse off my face mask.”

“It must be like an ocean to you.”

“More like a hot tub, but still better than the pool in the castle. How the cheese is the water like that? Water doesn’t float, things float in it!”

“We could talk to Coran and Allura about that.”

“Nah, I don’t want to bother them. We’ve got bigger things to worry about.”

“And smaller.” Lance could hear the smile in Keith’s voice.

“Oh my gosh, did you just make a pun?”

“I’m allowed to make a pun if I want to.” Keith had to resist the urge to turn around and glare at Lance’s face masked face.

“It just sounds weird coming out of you. You’re a hard guy to figure out.”

“Well, is there anything you want to know about me?”

“Yeah, I want to hear more about the hamster. Why did your family have one if you couldn’t stand it?”

“They weren’t my family. I just lived with them for a little while.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Not a lot of people do.”

“Hey, my lips are sealed. So, about the hamster.”

“Mr. Fluffy Cuddles was-”

Lance started laughing. “His name was Mr. Fluffy Cuddles? That’s hilarious.”

“Anyways, Mr. Fluffy Cuddles was their daughter’s pet. She would put him in princess dresses and carry him everywhere. I was in the room furthest from his cage, but was the only one that was bothered by him running late at night. Apparently, I was the only one that heard it. I guess now we know why.” Keith pointed to his ears. “He kept me up so late some nights that I was falling asleep in class. One day, I got so annoyed, that I went over to his cage while he was sleeping and started banging on it saying ‘How does that feel? Huh?’ thinking that would get him to stop.”

“You actually thought that would work?” Lance asked.

“I was 8. And all that did was get me put in a different home and labeled as difficult, troubled, and potentially violent. They recommended against me being put in a house with other children and especially not in one with small pets.”

“You do good with the space mice.”

And me. Wait, would that mean I’m thinking of myself as a pet? I’m gonna stop that thought right there.

“Well, it’s mostly Plachu that hangs out with me while I’m training. I’ve caught him mimicking some of the moves. He’s actually pretty good.”

“That’s adorable!” Lance washed off his face mask.

“Yeah.” Keith chuckled slightly. “How long did Allura say it was until we reached Olkari?”

“I think we’ve still got a varga, maybe a bit less.” Lance climbed out of the bowl using the washcloth. He grabbed a Kleenex and dried himself off.

“Let me know when you’re done changing. My leg’s starting to go numb.”

“Will do.” Lance approached the bundle of clothing that was the black under armor.

Hopefully Coran is right.

Lance stepped into the head hole and saw the hole start to get smaller. It changed at a quick but gradual pace. Soon enough, the under armor fit him like a glove.

“I’m done.”

Keith stretched his arms over his head.

“Finally. I was starting to think you might have turned into a mermaid.” Keith turned around so that he was on his knees facing the nightstand.

“I wish. Then these looks would be all natural.”

“I still don’t get why you need so many of these.” Keith moved some of the bottles of products to the side and rested his chin on his hands on the nightstand.

“Hey, I take care of my body. If you love the skin you’re in, you need to show it some appreciation. You might want to consider using some of them.”

“No thanks.”

“Keith.” Lance approached Keith’s face and slapped his cheeks with his hands. “I can see your pores. They’re dying.”

“My skin is fine.”

Lance realized just how close he was to Keith’s lips when he responded.

Wow. If I took a few steps forward, it would be like he was kissin-

‘Don’t make it weird.’

Yeah, this is kind of close.

Lance took a few steps back and looked away while awkwardly coughing in his fist.

Keith hadn’t expected Lance to get so close. He had to cross his eyes slightly so he could see him clearly. When Lance hit his cheeks, he hardly felt it. He tried to not breathe too hard when he responded since Lance was right in front of him. That weird tightness in his chest was back.

Lance suddenly backed away from him and coughed in his fist. Keith wondered why he had done that. Was he doing the whole ‘no homo’ thing that every other straight guy did? He saw the slight pinkish tint to Lance’s face and realized he must have felt nervous. Keith knew that he could be intimidating without trying to be, but it was hard to imagine what that would look like from Lance’s perspective.

“Um…sorry I…um…” Lance tried to string his word together.

Why did I have to go and make things so awkward? All because of this stupid crush I have on his stupid self with his stupid hair and his stupid beautiful smile. Ugggh, I’ve got it bad. Why does he have to be straight?

“I’m going to drop you off with Pidge and Hunk while I go take a shower.” Keith stood up and offered his hand to Lance.

“Sounds like a plan. I hope the Olkari have the supplies they’re looking for.”

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Realities without a Lance: 69 (+15)

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#pocket paladin #voltron #vld #klance #g/t #giant/tiny #g/t klance #g/t writing #Stories #Keith #Lance #Shrunk #shrinking

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calliecat93 · 5 years

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RvB17 Episode 12 (Season Finale): Theogeny

We did it, everyone! We made it to the finale! Woohoo! It still sucks that it’s only 12 episodes, but hey we made it!

It has been one Hell of a ride, full of highs and full of lows. I loved things like Donut getting character development, and hated things like how confusing the time travel shit is. I’m not going to talk about those here though. All of that will be saved for my Season Review, which should be up later today or tomorrow. So stay tuned for that cause it is looooong! For now though, we need to unpack this finale because Lord knows how they’re going to resolve all of this in just one episode. So without further ado, let’s dive right into the grand finale of Red vs Blue: Singularity.

Overview

We begin with Grif still being pushed through drills, continuously shot at until the coach knocks him over the ledge. Fortunately, before he can meet Lopez’s fate, he’s saved by Donut who kills the Labyrinth's Avatar and frees Grif from his nightmare. Chrovos succeeded in sending Donut and Doc in, and they are unaffected because… ugh… because plot! Okay, maybe it’s because they haven’t seen the Avatar yet, IDK. Anyways, once Grif understands what’s going on, he immediately becomes concerned about where his sister is. He runs off to find her, which Donut thinks that splitting up is good and Doc is left alone. Chrovos encourages him to unleash O’Malley, which he is dead against. Nevertheless, he goes forward.

Doc finds himself in Wash’s nightmare, where O’Malley starts to take over. He’s about to do what O’Malley does, but Doc tries to reign him in. The two argue, O’Malley telling Doc that without him, he is nothing and no one likes him and all that stuff. Doc’s response? That if he sucks, then O’Malley also sucks. He finally takes control, essentially becoming both himself and O’Malley and he rushes forward. Wash his prepping his gun, ready to avenge his dead friends… just in time to see that Doc has already done the job. Yes everyone, Doc got violent willingly AND now has full control over his O’Malley half. Doc has become a badass.

We now cut back to Sister, with her and Grif’s house now set ablaze. Grif runs in, asking why Kai is seeing their home. Sister reveals that it got burnt down. She didn’t start it and their mom is okay (but in a trailer park), but it happened and since Sister didn’t replace a smoke alarm, it couldn’t be saved. Grif… is pretty damn pissed, but Sister counters about how Grif left her and their mom. Grif counters that he had been drafted and starts yelling at her for allowing this to happen… before being knocked out by the real Grif. Yep, that was just The Labryinth, not the real deal. Sister is understandably confused as Grif explains what’s actually going on to her. Still, Sister feels terrible for the house burning down… but Grif isn’t upset at her nor does he blame her.

It is at this point that Grif comes clean about something. So you all know the draft story? The one that was said to be canon for all of these years? As it turns out, Grif had lied about it. He wasn’t drafted, he had enlisted just like he said he did back in the first episode and last season. Why? He had been tired of his life. He was tired of his circus performer mom and the lifestyle due to it, tired of having to take care of a younger sister, and he wanted to have more structure than what all of that and college could give him. In other words, he ran away from his problems and as a result, ran away from his own family. He hadn’t meant to, but he did and he had heard about the fire, but he said nothing because he couldn’t face Sister about it out of guilt. But he’s willing to talk about it now, whenever Sister wants too, if she’ll forgive him. Sister, while tearful, forgives him as Grif shoots his copy, ending the nightmare.

Soon, everyone else is freed. Wash and Doc save Sarge just as he’s being sent out to die. Sister and Grif go to save Simmons, Grif telling Sister that they keep whatever he’s seeing private. Simmons vision… is so terribly done and utter bullcrap that I refuse to talk about it in the overview. But he’s freed. Donut finds Tucker, who… seems fine and snapped out of it himself. That is until Donut sees his discarded sword on the ground and asks him to pick it up. After all, only Tucker can turn it on. The others arrive, Doc shooting the fake Tucker down. The real Tucker soon emerges, having passed out from a panic attack. Everyone regroups, and only Caboose and Carolina are left. They don’t have to search for Caboose though, he’s already freed. Well, it’s been proven that alien AI can't affect him, so alrighty. That leaves only Carolina.

As before, Carolina is still facing her past self who is saying that if her mom and dad were already dead and her efforts worthless, then that means that she is already dead. It’s beating Carolina down… until she sees Wash and the others. This is all that’s needed to make Carolina realize that she’s just speaking to a warped reflection, and she’s not going to let her stay int he way. Thus we get our one and only fight scene in the season... and it is badass. Kinda hard to review fight scenes, but trust me, it is awesome. It ends with Carolina being knocked down… but she still wins. The others surround past!Carolina, aiming their weapons at her as Wash supports the current Carolina. The Carolina who found a new family, found something worth fighting for instead of just herself, and how any one of them can end her past self with just the pull of a trigger.

The illusion dissolves, and the past!Carolina reveals their true form as the Avatar of the Labryinth. He is trying to do his job of not letting Chrovos be set free, so Donut reveals that they’re there to keep her in and if they were, he’d have done it while in the prison room. The Avatar thinks over this, just as Genkins arrives. But the Reds and Blues seem to be gone, but the Avatar has the golf club. Avatar questions Genkins intentions as the only one of his kin around that the golf club would work on is Chrovos. He puts two and two together and starts to pound Genkins, even breaking his holographic form. Worst, the Reds and Blues reappear, all with golf clubs. Genkins is mortified… before finally realizing how there can't be more than one and that he is being affected by The Labyrinth now.

Genkins knocks Avatar into the Black Hole, ending the vision. But he is at his limit. No matter what he’s tried, the Reds and Blues won’t die or stay down. It doens’t help when Dontu says that Lopez died… but Genkins says that cant be because he’d have felt it. It makes Donut realize that Lopez instead was looped back to the beginning of time, just like Huggins. And that’s a major revelation for Genkins, realizing that Huggins was how the Reds and Blues kept finding him. But this also gives him a new idea: to go back to the beginning of time and make it so that he can wipe out the Reds and Blues form existence. He leaps into the Black Hole, Donut stopping the others from intervening.

As it turns out, this was Donut’s plan and the Avatar reappears, complimenting him on it. So what happened? Well, Genkins succeeded in going back to the beginning of time and becoming a God. He became Chrovos… literally. He created the Cosmic Powers, became more corrupt, and he became the true Chrovos. But as a result, his kin turned on him, used the golf club and Hammer on him, and is how we got to where we are now. The present Chrovos is informed of this, and all things considered, she’s unhappy but takes it well overall. As such, Chrovos’ plan ultimately failed, and there is only one paradox remaining: Wash’s injury. Wash accepts it and is ready… but asks for the others to be there, so that he won’t be alone. They all go through the Everwhen as Chrovos watches the final crack disappear, ensuring that she is trapped forever.

We cut to the hospital, where Doc confirms that Wash is stable and will be okay, but he does indeed still have brain damage. The timeline is restored with seemingly everything from S16 having never happened. They can’t see him quite yet, but this time they can properly be there for him for these next few months. Grif suggests that they get pizza, which they get on him about but honestly I’m on his side. Donut opts out though, deciding that he wants to be on his own for a while and do some traveling. The season ends with them realizing that Lopez is gone… but that he had been sent back to the beginning of time, so he’s alive. And indeed, he shows u alive and well and has many things to tell… too bad that they can't understand him~

And thus, this episode along with Season 17, comes to a close.

Review

Fuck man, just…. Fuck. Where do I even begin with this?

So overall, decent finale. It felt a lot less cinematic and dramatic than the finale last year, but it still did all the things that a finale needed to do. It wrapped all the elements of the episode and the season and gave a bit of an abrupt, but fitting conclusion. It also leaves a LOT open for future writers. Wash having to deal with his brain damage, the others adjusting to the change, Donut going off on his own, the Cosmic Powers are still around, and even Chrovos can come back in the future. It ended things, but leaves plenty of room for the future, so that’s good.

There was a lot that I liked here. The best scene was Grif and Sister’s talk. It kinda retcons Grif’s draft story, but honestly… I am perfectly fine with that because this works so well. The two clearly love each other, but they’ve also always kinda felt distant and awkward. This explains it. Sister felt guilty for the fire, Grif felt guilty for leaving, and neither one knew how to address it until The Labryinth forced them to. With how badly I felt they dropped the ball with Grif, getting this moment was very nice and it does work around to his character arc of finally owning up to his problems and dealing with them instead of running from them. It also helps Sister be a more three-dimensional character and completes her shift from a last-second addition there for sex jokes to a true member of the cast. The moment was so well directed, written, and Geoff and Becca’s performances were as perfect as they were heartbreaking. I really loved this moment.

There was ome other good stuff too. Carolina vs Carolina, while not as creative as last year’s finale fight, was super badass and a perfect way to let Carolina bury the past for good… hopefully. Cause the ‘Carolina is guilty’ arcs are getting repetitive at this point. Genkins actually being Chrovos is a confusing mindfuck, but it kinda fits as a Hoist by His Own Petard story and certianly not what I was expecting. Even when he went back to the beginning, he still ultimately failed to defeat the Reds and Blues and sealed his own defeat. I guess that present Chrovos was imprisoned for so long that she forgot about all of that… which makes sense considering how long she was imprisoned. I’m pretty much okay with the twist, even if it was a mindscrew. And I am glad that they didn’t chicken out of keeping Wash brain damaged. It sucks, but it just feels wrong to do away with that because it’s not how it works It’s part of his character now, and now he has to live with it. But he won’t be alone. He’s proven that he can handle a lot of bullshit, and this time he’s ready for it. I’m proud of him.

It wasn't all perfect, mind you. The reveal was still a confusing mindfuck and essentially retconned S16 out fo existence. I guess they all still have their memories, but I just don’t like that… plus it means that Grif never got a sword. Hey guys, fix that next season, please. Oh and Simmons nightmare was complete and utter bullshit and I hated it. At least Grif’s despite being mostly a joke you could kinda fit it for his character and he got his scene with Sister. But how does losing his penis to aliens enhance Simmons character in any way? Yeah no,t hat was terrible and I really, really hope that Simmons is given a better storyline next season. Maybe even let him be the hero next season since he’s never really gotten the chance. Just saying. Also, the ending was kind of abrupt, but they still wrapped up the important bits, so I’m okay with that.

Is it the best finale? No. S13 and 16 were gonna be pretty damn hard to beat though. I’d say it’s average but does its job well enough. And my anger about Simmons aside, I really enjoyed the finale. It also really does a great job at concluding Donut’s arc. There isn’t really a moment of them acknowledging that DOnut did well, which is a tad annoying, but he still proved to the viewers what he was capable of. He saved the universe and in a damn pretty clever way. Him leaving is a bummer, but he deserves it and I’m sure that he’ll come back. Very least, he feels accepted back into the group and I don’t blame him for wanting some space after everything. Overall, I’m super proud of Donut and whoever is in charge of writing is gonna have to keep it up. No more of relegating him to just the innuendo guy people… but a few are okay! DOn’t want to throw it out completely XD

Final Thoughts

As I said, decent enough finale with a few things I didn’t care for, but it overall wrapped things up. I’ll have more details about my thoughts on the season as a whole in my season review… which is currently 11 pages long and not done yet, so I’ll have to half it. But both parts should be up by tonight. But either way, I had so much fun reviewing the season as well as watching it. I will sure as Hell be back to do S18, and of course, I’ll be doing RWBY V7 when that starts. I’m also considering doing dome more RvB Commentary Masterposts since people seemed to like the S16 one (which one for S17 will be done when the DVD is out) and I’ll be writing another masterpost on the RvB panel at RTX. I have to watch it on a stream since I can't go (/SOBS/) but be on the lookout for it.

Well… as a wise pig once said, that’s all folks! thank you for reading, and I’ll see you all for my Season Review! Hope you’ll enjoy~!

#rvb #rvb17 #rvb spoilers #rvb reviews #callie reviews

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slothgiirl · 5 years

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Gold Dust Woman part 1

pjo x mcu fusion: annabeth is iron man

crossposted on a03

It’s been twenty eight day since she was kidnapped. Annabeth would know this even if she wasn’t scratching a line into the wooden boards she called a bed every day. In situations like this, it was important to keep track of time. It keeps her from becoming disoriented, it keeps things in perspective.

Like how tomorrow the car battery that she has hooked up to her heart, that’s powering her heart, will give out, spent, and she’ll die.

Unless her miniature arc reactor works.

It has to.

Annabeth has spent countless nights awake, pouring over the math and plans. she flips through the pages and pages of sketches. Carefully combs through the numbers for any mistake, any miscalculation, until her eyes swim. In some ways its not all that different from home, where she’d spent days shut up in her lab, dreaming up new technology only to turn around and sell it to the military.

The arc reactor had been written off as a publicity stunt. An inefficient source of clean energy. A pipe dream no one had bothered chasing. Not even her when the math hadn’t worked on to make it feasible, she’d just shrugged, downed her scotch, and moved on to the next big contract.

She’d been so caught up in research and development, in making weapons, that she had lost track of things. Or maybe she didn’t want to know. Didn’t want to think about the people she’d killed. The blood on her hands.

If she’d bothered to keep track, maybe no one in her company would’ve sold things to the enemy.

If If If. She was going to drive herself crazy thinking about all the things she shouldn’ve done.

Annabeth didn’t have time for that.

Not here. She won’t die here in this godforsaken cave, not before she can put things right. Not before she can start to make amends.

She refuses to let death be her legacy.

“I’m here if you need steadier hands,” Armeen Hephaestus utters over to her from his own spot, carefully stripping down the weapons and tools they’ve been given according to her own schematics.

Every moment they waste not working on her plan is another second in which the 10 Rings might turn around and decide to kill them.

“It’s alright,” she answers, not bothering to look up. Annabeth hates relying on others, hates that she won’t be able to insert the arc reactor herself, might die unable to do anything to save herself if it fails. “Just stick to the plan.”

The words tumble out harshly in the soft light of the cave, lightbulbs flickering. The electric grid thats been rigged up is horribly inefficient, but Annabeth isn’t about to tell her captors that.

Her hands don’t shake as she places the last pieces in and waits for the flicker. For the arc reactor to power on if she’s rights about the math and she always is, this should generate more power than it consumes. It won’t be perfect.

But it’ll keep her alive and that’s good enough for now.

Annabeth sighs in relief as it flickers softly, before a steady white light comes on light. She can’t wait to see the look on Arachne’s face when Annabeth shows her what she did with their publicity stunt.

If she makes it out alive.

No. She puts the arc reactor down, turning to call over Hephaestus, she can’t think like that.

“Come on Armeen,” she tells him, “I can’t wait to stop lugging around this battery.”

It’s been twenty eight days and Annabeth wonders where Thalia is, leading the search over the vast deserts of Afghanistan.

It doesn’t really matter.

The 10 Rings was right, they’ll never find her here. There’s just to much ground to cover.

That’s fine. Annabeth’s only ever been able to rely on herself and she’ll get herself out of here and Hephaestus too.

Then she’ll make sure Chase Industries never manufactures another weapon again.

Six shots in, a glass of champagne in hand for the occasion and Annabeth is bubbly. Is open and friendly in the addictive way she can never manage sober. Her smile feels foreign but the man who’s wrapped his arms about her, his hand covering hers before they throw the dice and watch it hit the roulette before landing on one of their winning numbers, he’s fun and hot and she likes one night stands. They’re easy.

“Yay,” she giggles, turning to him, giving up on his name when her thoughts feel so disconnected.

“You must be my good luck charm,” he grins, looking boyishly charming as he does.

It’s such a cliche, fitting in perfectly in Vegas.

Grover rolls his eyes, clearing finding the line beyond cheesy, from his spot on her right, the rest of her bodyguards spread out around.

“Yeah,” she replies airily, downing her champagne and distantly wondering if its to late to upgrade the targeting systems on the Medusa Missiles. Her mother never acknowledged anything less then perfection. It was a trait she’d passed on to her, along with her grey eyes and height.

No, both her parents had been tall.

He kisses her, lips saturated with beer, and Annabeth mindlessly goes along, wishing men weren’t so into beer. It never tastes good. And cocktails were so much better at getting people drunk faster.

“Lets go again,” he suggests.

“I’m game,” she answers, signaling for another drink.

Annabeth doesn’t really have time for this, she’s leaving Vegas in an hour back to San Francisco. But maybe he’d like a free ride to SF?

“Annabeth,” Thalia calls out, meeting Jack’s? drunk and carefree gaze with her own steely one, the same look she gave Annabeth overtime she found her less them sober, falling over and refusing Grover’s assistance, “you missed the ceremony.”

It’s the chastising of someone who’s already given up hope of getting through, hand wrapped around a glass award.

The reason she’d come to Vegas.

“Vegas is so fun,” she replies, dismissing the man and falling into step besides Thalia, away from the gambling tables, “and yet you want me to spend my time here in a room full of corporate assholes?”

It does the trick, Thalia laughs, “so long as you make it to the plane for-,”

“I know,” she cuts off, “gosh mom there’s a reason I have a nanny!” She takes the trophy from Thalia before she can think to try and smash her head in with it, “I’m sure Katie’ll find a great place to put this were it’s not ostentatious.” Next tool the other awards.

“Pretty sure you gave up any hope of that when you built a hose overlooking the bay,” Thalia replies, her uniform looking nice and starched. She was at home in uniform more than Annabeth could hope to be in a dress, but it was Vegas and it felt right when she’d decided on the Cushnie. Now she was missing her comfortable suits. “do you have any clue how much real-estate is going for in San Fransisco these days?”

“It’s on the cliffs,” Annabeth adds with a grin at her old friend. They’d been at MIT together, back when Thalia had over-dyed black hair and ripped band t shirts, perpetually wearing sandals even in winter.

“Let me know when you want to settle down,” Thalia teases, “I’d love to be a trophy wife.”

“I thought they’d reinstated don’t ask don’t tell now with the new administration,” Annabeth wonders out loud.

Thalia nudges her side lightly, “don’t even get me started. I risk my life serving this country and this is the thanks I get back home! This is who the country votes for?”

The limo pulls up and Grover opens the door up for her, forever the gentleman.

Annabeth laughs at Thalia, “You know what they say, there’s no rest for the wicked. See you in a few.”

Tahlia shakes her head as she walks aways.

Annabeth grins and steps towards the open car door.

Before she can slide into the car and head home, a voice calls out behind her, “Ms. Chase do you have anything to say on the situation in Afghanistan.”

She looks at Glover, who helplessly shrugs, “I guess he’s hot. I don’t know. I’m only Juniper-sexual.”

Annabeth turns around, facing a rather handsome man, tall, broad shoulders and chiseled chin. It just reminds her of everything she’s not. This is the person that the military would love to deal with, not her. Not another Chase woman.

“Go for it,” she says with a grin, forcing herself no to pull down on her dress, it’s supposed to be this short. Maybe she needed a new tailor?

“Annabeth Chase, you’ve been called the Da Vinci of our times,” he starts, making her beam despite herself, she’s always a fool for flattery, “what do you have to say to that?”

“I do what I can to contribute to society, to making a better world.” It’s one of those vague statements her PR handlers had drilled into her. Harmless regardless of any context.

“What about your other nickname? The Merchant of Death? What do you have to say to that,” there’s teeth to his smile this time, a crusader then. Another reporter out to change the world.

“Let me guess, Berkeley ,” she says in lieu of an answer, the school was infamous for their many protests.

“Boston U actually.”

Annabeth nods. “Well, it’s an imperfect world we live in. I guarantee the day weapons are no longer needed to defend this country and it’s peoples freedoms I’ll start making bricks and solar panels.” She pauses, crossing her arms in front of her. This was the thing about dresses, where was she supposed to stuff her hands into? “My mother used to say that peace was having a bigger stick than the other side,” Annabeth says with a shrug. Athena had never spoken those words to her, but she’d parroted them often enough to the press. “And isn’t peace what we all want?”

He grins like he’s in on the joke, only highlighting how handsome he is, dark skin and even darker eyes, “interesting words coming from the woman selling the sticks.”

Even she grins at this, genuine for the first time all night. “What’s you name?”

“Isaiah, Isaiah Levey from Vanity Fair magazine.”

“Well Isaiah,” Annabeth replies, liking the way his name sounds on her lips, liking the look of him even more, “My mother helped defeat the nazis, she worked on the Manhattan project, she developed technology that propelled us into space and is now used in computers and phones. A lot of people, including your professors at Boston, would call that being a hero.”

Isaiah fires back, “A lot of people would also call that war profiteering.”

Annabeth’s lips draw thin, as the alcohol that’s kept her buzzed for the last hour wears off, “Tell me, do you plan on including the countless lives we’ve save through advancements in medical care and agricrops? All those breakthroughs,” she says pointedly, “military funding.”

“Wow,” he says shaking his head, “you ever lose an hour of sleep your whole life?”

And just like the fuckboys Katie always complains about, like she didn't somehow incorporate flannel into all of her outfits, she utters, “I’m prepared to lose a few with you.”

She might be off-putting at the best of times, and not half as beautiful as the wives of her fellow billionaires, but confidence could more than make of for those shortcomings.

Isaiah shrugs helplessly, grin on his lips, and he slides into the limo with her.

It’s been seventy nine days since she’d watched a humvee blow up. It was a lot nastier up close then in testing facilities out in Nevada, where distance made the explosion look beautiful.

Before she could register that they were under attack, before she could react and put her drink down or maybe finish it off and hope it was just a nightmare, the solider in the front. . .R-something. . .Reyes?. . .maybe it was Ramirez? Was telling her to get down, the words barely leaving her mouth before a gunshot splattered her brains reminiscent of a Pollock, body falling over like a puppet that had its strings cut.

Annabeth had looked around stupidly. She didn’t know what to do. More gunshots. More blood.

There had been smoke and dust and she couldn’t see anything, couldn’t even see her enemy until she heard the gunshots, seconds before they made contact, ripping through the Humvee like it was made of cardboard.

She crawls out, dodging behind the nearest rock, in too much shock. Her hand goes reflexively to her necklace, thumbing over the beads. More gunshots. There’s no way to know where to go. Who’s her enemy and where she should run too so she just stays hurled behind the rocks.

Annabeth wants to slap herself, throat choked on a scream. Everyone likes to believe they’d react the right way in a fight or flight situation but theres no right way and oh my god she’s going to die.

Then there was the missile, landing just close enough for her to make out the logo, the same logo she’d learned to recognize when she was still learning to write, Chase Industries and then the explosion and then nothing.

It’s night.

And the 10 rings members are suddenly filing in, guns locked and loaded.

Annabeth knows its night because the shifts changed. Even with their rotating shifts and change in partners, she’d quickly memorized their faces. Besides, at night, they yawn more.

They yell in their various languages, strutting around and throwing their weight before a bald man clicks his fingers, his face hard, with a glee in his eyes that speaks to a sadistic nature.

They grab for Armeen, dragging him before the bald man, knocking him to his knees.

The bald man must be the leader. Head held high, back straight as though he’s looking down at everyone. He can’t be much taller than her.

Annabeth might be tall for a woman, but she’s only average in comparison to most men and Hephaestus is taller than most. He’s also lanky, hands rough from hard labour. Not a handsome man with his large nose and small chin, eyes lost behind thick glasses.

He’s her friend and when they bring a hot iron rod to his mouth she finds herself yelling, “NO,” moving forward against her better judgement.

All the guns in the room point at her.

She blinks, realizing that no matter how valuable she is, how rich she is, how smart she is, they won’t hesitate to shoot. Their patience has worn through.

“I need him,” she utters, her protest sounding weak to her own ears, “he’s a good assistant.” She won’t have anymore blood on her hands. He has a wife and kids back home.

Annabeth only has Thalia. People she pays probably don’t count. Grover and Katie’ve no doubt found a new job.

She would’ve.

Then again, there’s a reason everyone’s always found her cold.

“You have twenty four hours to give me a Medusa Missile or I’ll shoot you both,” the bald man spits, “I don’t care who you are you bitch!”

She doesn’t wince anymore. The words cold bitch have long trailed after her.

The man kicks Hephaestus aside, before turning to leave.

Then their gone.

A look at him and they both know they’re in for a long night if her plan’s going to work, if they’re going to escape.

Annabeth wakes up at six in the morning on the dot the same way she has every day since boarding school.

Isaiah is still sleeping when she slips out of her room and down her lab.

Katie’ll take care of him later.

Katie’ll also let her know when it’s time to go, the only person aside from herself who knows the password down to her lab, her heels click on the glass steps.

“You are supposed to be halfway around the world,” she utters already scrolling through her ChasePad, a prototype of the latest version that was still in development, her tone leaving no room for argument.

“How’d she take it,” Annabeth says, pivoting while she looks over her latest engine, finding that the Lamborgini, no matter how nice it looked, handled like shit.

“Like a champ,” Katie replies.

“Why’re you trying to kick me out of my own house,” Annabeth asks, shifting her weight onto her other leg before it can fall asleep, the last few screws falling into places. At first it was just a matter of replacing the wheels and suspension, but once she looked under the hood, Annabeth knew she could do better.

“Your flight was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago,” Katie says curtly. Grover must have told her how much she drank last night.

“You know, I do know my limit,” she responds, “and it’s my plane so shouldn’t it take off whenever I want it to?” She’s being ridiculous, Annabeth knows this, but. . .she doesn’t know.

She won’t see Katie for a three days. It’s not long in the grand scheme of things. . .

Katie ignores her, barreling on, “Social drinking is a stepping stone to alcoholism and I need to speak to you about a couple things, before I send you on your way.”

“I mean whats the point of a private plane if I’m still subjected to boarding times.” Grover had told her once about commercial flights and Annabeth had felt something inside her wither and die. It probably came with never having to deal with anything money couldn’t fix.

Maybe she should get out more, talk to people other than her employees and those with a vested interest in her company.

“Xiao called, she has another Jackson Pollock lined up for the auction, do you want it? Yes or no.” Annabeth couldn’t see any point to splatter paint, there was no technique or point really. She much preferred the carefully rated indian and egyptian art pieces. There was the greek technical prowess in sculpture and paintings, coming the closest to lifelike. But her dad had lover abstract art and modern art.

So, “yes,” she answers, turning around and gladly downing the last of her cup of water. Her head was still pounding even after the two pills she’d taken this morning. Hangovers were the thing that would knock down any impending alcoholism Katie kept nagging her about.

“It’s overpriced,” Katie informs her, “and not a great representation of his later renowned work.”

“I said yes Katie,” she sighs, hearing the snap in her own voice, scrambling to add, “it’ll be like those parents who hang up all their kids drawing from preschool.” Her mother had never done that, waving annabeth away until she’d come back with her first circuit board, lines deep around her mouth as she’d frowned and told her the how inefficient it was.

Katie smiles, “Okay. The MIT commencement-,”

“Is in June,” annabeth says walking up to the main floor, “nice try.”

“Well if I have to hear it then you have to hear it,” Katie teases, easily, the clack of heels on concrete a tell tale sign that she’s following close behind.

“Didn’t I hire you to hear it so I don’t have to,” Annabeth snipes back, knowing Katie won’t take it the wrong way. They’ve been working together for to long.

“I’ll take that as a yes and I need you to sign this,” she says offering up a long and complicated paper with fine print as they reach the main living room, her duffle bag and carry on already prepared for her.

“Wow you’re really trying to get rid of me. Why?” It’s blunt, the way Annabeth has learned to be in the corporate world and military world where old men will look down on her and call her girl.

“I have plans.”

Annabeth makes a face, “I don’t like it when you have plans.”

Katie rolls her eyes, “first of all that’s why we have unions and workers rights and secondly I’m allowed to have plans on my birthday.”

Annabeth winces. She’d forgotten. She relied so much on Katie to remind her of all her appointments and meeting, and she could hardly tell Katie to reminder of her birthday. “Is it? This weekend?” It must be November then.

That explained all the christmas decorations that had been up in Vegas.

“Yes,” Katie responds, smothering a laugh, “isn’t that strange? It’s the same day as last year.”

“Well, buy yourself something nice from me.” Annabeth never knew what people wanted and it just didn’t seem practical to guess. That’s how people ended up with something useless, that they didn’t want, and then had to figure out what to do with; regift it, throw it aways, or have ti sit in the back of your closet.

“I already did.”

“Is it a new and exotic species of plant,” She asks knowingly. Katie had a way with plants, managing to keep even orchids alive.

“Thank you,” Katie says with a soft smile, before thrusting Annabeth’s luggage at her and pushing her out the door where Grover awaits with the ferrari, one designed by the great Nikki Lauda, the splashiest thing her father ever owned. It had only needed minor adjustments.

Annabeth laughs and helps Grover throw her luggage in.

The suit works, she flies for a full fifteen seconds before crashing, just long enough to escape the fireball of explosions she leaves behind.

Along with Hephaestus.

Dead.

Another death on her hands.

Even in February, the deserts of Afghanistan are scorching hot, dry, her eyes are strained after spending almost three months in darkness, only broken by weak lighting.

In comparison the sun a entirely too bright, too much.

Her throat arched, a strip of fabric wrapped around her head as a makeshift hat, keeping some of the sun off her.

The sun keeps her going, orients her because the sun always east and sets in the west, no matter what part of the world she’s in, ignoring how everywhere she looks out to looks the same. Sand, and more fucking sand.

It’s been eighty days since she was kidnapped.

they must still be searching for her. Thalia wouldn’t abandon her. Besides she’d Annabeth Chase, billionaire wonderkid, child of the late great Athena Chase.

But the fear of wondering forever, until she collapses and dies nags at her.

There’s just so much sand.

Vast planes spreading out beyond her as she leaves the mountains at her back.

What are the chances of-Thalia. . .

. . .Thalia finding her. . .

She hears the sounds first, the beautiful roaring of army craft, too steady too be of any make other than the united states government.

It’s the most wonderful sound she’s ever heard.

Her hands spread out, waving over. . .

Holy shit! Holy fucking shit!

It worked!

Something in her chest loosens, a weight, the panic that’s been kept at bay by adrenalin, by need and focus, hummingbird panic that makes her arc reactor flicker in the bright daylight of the desert, worlds away from the gloomy rain of San Fransisco in the winter.

She can breath now.

She’s alive.

Alive.

A live.

It feels like something that belongs to someone else. The drinks and parties and work and billions in the bank.

That can’t be. . .her.

The image of her own missile landing right in front of her forever seared into the backs of her eyelids.

Thalia walks down and out of the aircraft, soldiers fanning out with heavy automatic arms pointed out into the desert plains.

Annabeth can breath now. She smiles, falling into Thalia’s arms, into her embrace. She’s never been more glad to see Thalia’s dark blue eyes, almost black in some light.

“How was the fun-vee?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Annabeth hears herself say and then she’s gone. Exhausted down to her bones. The weight of running for months on adrenalin finally catching up to her and she blacks out, sliding into R.E.M. sleep for the first time since SF.

Later Thalia’ll tell her she was debriefed and gave coherent answers before downing some crackers and a coke, getting a quick medical checkup, before they let her sleep.

She doesn’t remember a thing after she see’s Thalia. Her very own godly apparition.

#percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #annabeth chase #katie gardner #grover underwood #thalia grace #connor stoll #travis stoll #mine #pls validate me and my last weeks work

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