#twilight*

[frownyalfred]

The horror the batkids must feel every time Bruce repeats something they said in an interview or a gala and either completely botches the pronounciation and/or meaning or he makes the same sentence sound ten times funnier

Batkids making fun about twilight: haha that line is so stupid. how did this get published!

Bruce the next day on live television: darling, you look effervescent today.

#asks #anon #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #twilight

[bg3scenarios]

Gale: So… if you’re a vampire, then-

Astarion: Why can I walk in the sunlight?!

Astarion: I don’t know! This tadpole, maybe?!

Gale: I was going to ask why you didn’t sparkle

Astarion: …What?

Karlach: I know you read a lot of books, Gale

Karlach: But I know exactly what book you’re talking about right now

#bloodweave #gale dekarios #astarion ancunin #karlach #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #karlach cliffgate #astarion #gale of waterdeep #twilight

[nowadayz]

TWILIGHT 2008, dir. Catherine Hardwicke

#* #twilight #dailyflicks #usersavana #useradie #useraurore #usercallie #userallisyn #userbru #userines #tuserbailey #jokerous #userlolo #userelio #usersole

[dk-thrive]

Sunday Morning @ Daybreak. 50° F. 6:00 am. April 28, 2024. Cove Island Park, Stamford, CT. (@dkct25)

#daybreak #twilight #cove island park #stamford #original photography #photographers on tumblr #sunday #sunrise #morning #dawn #horizon

[sictransitgloriamvndi]

#art #painting #landscape #fountain #trees #columns #twilight #sunset #figurative #1800s #ferdinand knab

[fuckmeyer]

the choice between Edward & Jacob is not a question of which relationship is healthier or which partner is best suitable for Bella. neither is correct. neither is best. neither produces a happy ending for Bella. at the end of the day this is still a vampire novel. any choice Bella could make would yield, at best, a bittersweet happily ever after.

if she chooses Edward, she gets the terrifying Breaking Dawn ending: a girl who rejected her call to grow up has hung her love & her eternity on an emotionally stunted partner who hates himself marginally less than he loves her. she's a teen mom with a kid she never wanted who perpetuates the generational trauma passed down from her parents. by keeping this child, the Cullens have set the stage for an uprising/cold war against the Volturi who are likely to take revenge in order to maintain power. Bella is living in a tenuous "dream come true" wrapped in a nightmare & doesn't realize it.

choosing Jacob is the true coming-of-age ending that rips the stitches out of a wound that never fully healed. even if we ignore the fact that she ends up with a man who sexually assaulted her (we must bear in mind Jacob's character is influenced by smeyer's racism, but it did happen), they can't have a secure romantic relationship. based on the high imprinting rate of the pack, Jacob will likely find his imprint in his lifetime & will lose himself to the imprintee. he will no longer be her Jacob. he will inevitably abandon her (whether he wants to or not), & she must reconcile with the reality that she will always be inadequate to Jacob's imprint. & say he never manages to escape the vampires? he will presumably not age for a long time, meaning the relationship Bella always feared with Edward (her being an old grandmother while he stays forever young) remains a possibility. this is the story of a girl who slaps a Band Aid on an open wound & calls herself healed while flinching every time she sees the shadow of the knife that cut her.

if she chooses neither (team therapy), her healing requires her to lose or be at least partially disconnected from everyone she cares about. Bella must spend the rest of her life shut out from one world while never fully existing in her human world ever again. she must always keep secrets. she can never go back home. even in the unlikely event that she manages to escape the Volturi, the threat of being hunted by vampires will never leave her. in addition, she must face her worst fears (aging, losing Edward) while always keeping in mind the immortal life that could have been hers, if only.

even the "healthiest" option produces scars that will never quite heal.

Twilight is a horror. Twilight is a vampire novel. Twilight is gothic. Twilight is fiction. neither Edward nor Jacob is a "bad" choice because neither will give Bella her happily ever after. the choice between Edward & Jacob is simply a matter of which horror story you prefer to read.

#twilight #twilight renaissance #bella swan #the twilight saga #edward cullen #twilight saga #twilight meta #not to be a downer but the edward/jacob feud is silly #i understand this feud will continue in perpetuity because controversy & drama will always garner attention in online spaces etc #but the idea that either of these men will provide the happy story some people in this fandom want is an illusion #because no matter what happens The Twilight Saga still operates in the context of the vampire/gothic genre which by design can't produce #a 100% happy ending. the vampire itself reflects the inner anxieties of a society - & isolation & change & death - etc. #these are anxieties that can be alleviated thru vamp media. they can be escaped but never solved. which is part of the horror of the genre #The Horror Will Not Go Away #& in this respect Twilight is NOT the exception to the rule. #'oh but it's a YA romance so-' yeah so the black walls get wallpapered. they're still black underneath & nothing changes that #i wish we were able to debate the choice between Edward & Jacob while still bearing in mind neither choice is wrong #i think this fandom would be a lot less toxic & mean to each other for no fuckin reason but oh well

[adoreyor]

i cant lie, i wasnt too interested in the martha and henderson ship but oh my god that chapter broke me. the last line was devastating.

“but in the days that would follow, the thud of boots, and the roar of tank engines… would drown out the beating of my heart”

thats so tragic :(

#spy x family #yor forger #loid forger #spy family #anya forger #twilight #thorn princess #anime #spy x family spoilers

[dailyflicks]

TWILIGHT 2008, dir. Catherine Hardwicke

#* #twilight #userlolo #jokerous #tuserbailey #userines #tuserlou #usersavana #userbru #usersole #userallisyn #usercallie #tusertha #useradie #useraurore #userelio #usermorgan #2000s #fantasy #romance #by el

[bramblrose]

"If Carlisle was the soul of our family, then Esme was the heart. He gave us a leader who deserved following; she made that following into an act of love."

#twilightedit #the twilight saga #twilight #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #esme anne platt #esme platt #esme cullen #carlisle cullen #stephenie meyer #litedit #mine

[cupiowaffles]

Stan Marsh rides Twilight Sparkle into battle!!

#art #drawing #digital art #animation #south park #sp #stan #stan marsh #south park stan #south park stan marsh #mlp #my little pony #mlp fim #my little pony friendship is magic #twilight #twilight sparkle #my little pony twilight sparkle #mlp twilight sparkle

[therealvinelle]

I love the Agatha Christie question!

Who are your HP/Twilight faves in the Christie universe? (Who’s the opportunist who knows too much and dies for it? Who’s the conman killer who courts the girl to avoid suspicion? Who’s just trying to take a holiday and gets caught-up in a murder? Who are the dynamic mystery-solving duo who realize they are in love by the end of the novel? etc.).

I mean, that is kind of what The Man Who Would Be King (and secret fic) (both cowritten with @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin) have already become. We have our murder victim, Alphard, a very rich man with a colorful family, and possibly his sister, we have our unlikely detectives in Voldemort, Lily Potter, and Alphard himself. It may not be the center of the story but it's a large part of it.

In other words my answer for Harry Potter would somehow spoil all my present and future fics so I won't.

As for the Twilight version...

I vote we do it wealthy dysfunctional family style, it's most natural.

A patriarch is poisoned

Carlisle Cullen, a very wealthy man with powerful enemies, nonetheless dear to those around him and blessed with more friends than most, is found dead in his office one morning. Cause of death? Murder.

The police, caught on the detail that Dr. Cullen was a vampire and vampires are real, what the fuck is this on the doctor's autopsy table and is he going to wake up again and drink all our blood?, are little use in the investigation. Scotland Yard is soon brought in, and using Chief Swan's connections with the family they get a better picture of Dr. Cullen's life.

His family wasn't looking to inherit him anytime soon, as he was immortal. None of them were having money troubles however, all were independently wealthy.

He had made enemies of a thousand-year-old clan of powerful vampires, who on hearing that his murder is being investigated like this get very upset. Supposedly the victim lived with them in his youth (and inspector Craddock cries when he learns the timeline for this murder goes back to the 1600s. Are they going to have to bring historians in on this murder??), he might have known something

Oh what's that? The victim had a whole network of friends across the globe, who are all killers, and he knew everyone's secrets? ... do we have the budget to investigate this?

The victim was also living next to a tribe of magical shapeshifting wolves evolved specifically to kill his kind. They liked him best and had a line in their treaty that "he dies last". Not sure what to do with this information

Rosalie Hale missing person case from 1933 solved: Carlisle Cullen adopted her. Was she recognised, did someone piece it together, and was Carlisle killed in retribution?

The victim lived a fake life of fake papers. Could be important, except it's the most normal thing about this case.

The police wonder how this man didn't get murdered sooner, and are stretched so thin the investigation is going slowly.

So, Renesmee gets to be our plucky detective du jour, as she decides to see if she can help. Surely there is no harm in her poking around, and she's well liked around the vampire world so there might be answers she can get that human police can't, partly because policemen keep getting eaten.

She slowly narrows it down to the horrible realization that it was someone in the family, and she learns terrible things.

Jasper Hale wasn't Jasper Hale at all! He was a friend of Jasper's in the newborn army who wanted a new life, and who in the wake of Jasper's suden and unexpected death assumed his identity. He had Peter bite his entire face so he'd be scarred like Jasper had been, and vouch for this blond vampire most definitely being Jasper Hale. Peter later had to die because he Knew Too Much, and so did Charlotte, regrettably. Fake Jasper did however not kill Carlisle.

Edward seems a prime suspect, he is an angry and resentful young man who acts out. Everyone thinks he did it, and that Bella should certainly marry Jacob, the safer option. Much upheaval is had, however, once Renesmee is able to clear Edward's name and he meaningfully links arms with Bella. They sail off into the sunset with their inheritance.

Rosalie is a beautiful, cold, intimidating woman, the femme fatale sort who's surely conniving. It's a bit of a mystery why she married that poor fool Emmett, but it's clear to all she doesn't love him. No clear motive from her, other than the money she would inherit, but she's just so suspicious. Her alibi is ambiguous, she claims she was with Esme and Emmett but what if Esme and Emmett are lying to protect their daughter and wife? Superintendent Battle wonders about that.

Renesmee is at a loss.

And then she realizes that it's not Rosalie who acts like she doesn't love Emmett, it's Emmett who acts like he doesn't love her! And Esme's grieving widow act is just that, it's an act!

Renesmee realizes that Emmett and Esme are lovers, and killed Carlisle together. Esme committed it while Emmett tricked Rosalie into giving her an alibi. Renesmee realizes this once she has a "But Rosalie couldn't have seen Esme from that angle!" moment.

The plan was too pin Rosalie for the murder, see her hanged, and then in due time the mourning widowers would marry, happily entitled to all the money they couldn't have touched if they'd divorced. Also Rosalie was Catholic so she wouldn't have agreed to a divorce.

The two lovers are confronted, and Esme pulls out a tiny pearl-studded gun from her shoe, says "We tried, my love. I regret nothing" before shooting first Emmett, then herself.

#agatha christie #twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #my fic #the carnivorous muffin #the carnivorous muffin fic #the man who would be king #secret fic #renesmee cullen #cullens #jasper hale #rosalie hale #emmett cullen #esme cullen #carlisle cullen

[oldinterneticons]

twilight movie confession #13: I watched Zathura but I got bored when Edward didn't show up

#twilight #movies #zathura #funny

[octopiller]

Grand galloping gala three! I have learned from this I like drawing in my own style

#artwork #original art #small artist #digital art #fan art #anime art #character art #art #artists on tumblr #illustration #twilight #twilight sparkle #mlp #mlp fandom #mlp g4 #mlp art #mlp fim #mlpfim #mlp friendship is magic #my little pony fanart #my little pony art #my little pony #my litte pony friendship is magic

[volterran-wine]

Drunken Joy || Demetri, Felix & Heidi

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒: "Could I have some drunk head canons of Felix, Demetri and Heidi, generally and with a mate, do they get flirty, sentimental? Let’s say there was a celebration or something and that’s why they’re tipsy, you can do just them being drunk or looking after a tipsy s/o if you like, whatever you like! I just got the image of Demetri trying to dance despite being adorably uncoordinated, Heidi being giggly and Felix telling stories x"

I feel like these three together is either the most wonderful and fun time, or someone ends up crying because they lean on one another so much. But adding a mate into the mix as well? Oh it is downright asking for a scandalous tale.

!𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒! None.

𝐀𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

—  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐎

If Felix has a mate: When this man is sober he looks at his significant other as if they hung the moon and stars, when drunk it is as if his mate is god incarnate; and him their humble servant. He would spend most of the evening holding their hand or allowing them to fully lean on to him as they got deeper into their cups. He would not shy away from telling stories about his mate, proclaiming how much he adores them every chance they get; much to the amusement of both Heidi and Demetri. If you acquire Felix as a mate there will never be a moment he does not remind someone how much he loves them.

If Heidi has a mate: Oh she would be exceptionally soft with a mate when she has a few glasses of blood-wine in her system, eyes sparkling with a love that is hard to describe with mere words. More than once she would leave lipstick marks against their cheek with a grace only Heidi possesses. If Demetri tries to get cheeky with her mate however, Heidi will promptly scold him; something that would leave Felix and her mate keeling over with laughter. If the tracker and executioner get a little too inebriated, Heidi and her mate will take care of the two fools, small glances shared as Heidi invites her mate into her life more thoroughly.

If Demetri has a mate, and he has not accepted them: He would sit as far away from the mate through out the entire evening, no matter how many times Heidi keeps elbowing him. For being a fun drunk he is quiet for the first time in centuries, half-heartedly glaring at Felix for attempting to bring him together with his so called fated mate. Though he keeps his distance he does make sure they feel alright, asking if they are having a good time several times. On the morrow Felix and Heidi would be teasing him about being unable to keep his eyes off of his soon to be mate; Demetri goes for an extra long walk that day.

If Demetri has a mate, and he has accepted them: The tracker will simply not leave his mate alone for one moment, either he will be touching them constantly or draped across their lap as if he is starring in some extravagant painting; blood-wine sloshing out of his glass and on to the floor from time to time. When his face is not tucked into their neck he is probably kissing their cheeks or dragging them into a dance. If I am to be entirely honest, Demetri would most likely herd his significant other back to his own quarters for some intimate fun.

#Demetri Volturi #Felix Volturi #Heidi Volturi #Demetri Volturi Headcanon #Felix Volturi Headcanon #Heidi Volturi Headcanon #Twilight #Twilight Renaissance

[dk-thrive]

Moon @ Twilight. 60° F. 4:10 to 4:30 am. April 29, 2024. Cove Island Park, Stamford, CT. (@dkct25)

#daybreak #twilight #cove island park #stamford #original photography #photographers on tumblr #moon #moonlight #moon light #trees

[ineffectualdemon]

The funniest/most tragic au I just thought of for spyxfamily is a soulmate au

Twilight and Thorn Princess are soulmates but they don't know this as for their lines of work they had their soul marks permanently removed

(this may or may not remove the soul link)

It actually happens at the same time and they have no idea their other half also did so

Meanwhile when Loid and Yor meet and agree on their plan part of it is Lor was born markless alas and she's worried people will suspect because that's suspicious and means she won't get married

Loid has a "soulmark" but says his soulmate died

Let's say it's not impossible that if someone dies their partner might get a new soulmark which corresponds to one that shows up on a previously markless person if their soulmate was young enough when they died.

So Loid and Yor fake being second chance soulmates. It's not hugely uncommon due to the war and (just barely) socially acceptable

They have to repaint their fake soulmarks on every day after washing them off at night

One night they don't wash off

#spy x family #yor forger #loid forger #thorn princess #twilight #soulmate au