#Twilight Renaissance

[fuckmeyer]

the choice between Edward & Jacob is not a question of which relationship is healthier or which partner is best suitable for Bella. neither is correct. neither is best. neither produces a happy ending for Bella. at the end of the day this is still a vampire novel. any choice Bella could make would yield, at best, a bittersweet happily ever after.

if she chooses Edward, she gets the terrifying Breaking Dawn ending: a girl who rejected her call to grow up has hung her love & her eternity on an emotionally stunted partner who hates himself marginally less than he loves her. she's a teen mom with a kid she never wanted who perpetuates the generational trauma passed down from her parents. by keeping this child, the Cullens have set the stage for an uprising/cold war against the Volturi who are likely to take revenge in order to maintain power. Bella is living in a tenuous "dream come true" wrapped in a nightmare & doesn't realize it.

choosing Jacob is the true coming-of-age ending that rips the stitches out of a wound that never fully healed. even if we ignore the fact that she ends up with a man who sexually assaulted her (we must bear in mind Jacob's character is influenced by smeyer's racism, but it did happen), they can't have a secure romantic relationship. based on the high imprinting rate of the pack, Jacob will likely find his imprint in his lifetime & will lose himself to the imprintee. he will no longer be her Jacob. he will inevitably abandon her (whether he wants to or not), & she must reconcile with the reality that she will always be inadequate to Jacob's imprint. & say he never manages to escape the vampires? he will presumably not age for a long time, meaning the relationship Bella always feared with Edward (her being an old grandmother while he stays forever young) remains a possibility. this is the story of a girl who slaps a Band Aid on an open wound & calls herself healed while flinching every time she sees the shadow of the knife that cut her.

if she chooses neither (team therapy), her healing requires her to lose or be at least partially disconnected from everyone she cares about. Bella must spend the rest of her life shut out from one world while never fully existing in her human world ever again. she must always keep secrets. she can never go back home. even in the unlikely event that she manages to escape the Volturi, the threat of being hunted by vampires will never leave her. in addition, she must face her worst fears (aging, losing Edward) while always keeping in mind the immortal life that could have been hers, if only.

even the "healthiest" option produces scars that will never quite heal.

Twilight is a horror. Twilight is a vampire novel. Twilight is gothic. Twilight is fiction. neither Edward nor Jacob is a "bad" choice because neither will give Bella her happily ever after. the choice between Edward & Jacob is simply a matter of which horror story you prefer to read.

#twilight #twilight renaissance #bella swan #the twilight saga #edward cullen #twilight saga #twilight meta #not to be a downer but the edward/jacob feud is silly #i understand this feud will continue in perpetuity because controversy & drama will always garner attention in online spaces etc #but the idea that either of these men will provide the happy story some people in this fandom want is an illusion #because no matter what happens The Twilight Saga still operates in the context of the vampire/gothic genre which by design can't produce #a 100% happy ending. the vampire itself reflects the inner anxieties of a society - & isolation & change & death - etc. #these are anxieties that can be alleviated thru vamp media. they can be escaped but never solved. which is part of the horror of the genre #The Horror Will Not Go Away #& in this respect Twilight is NOT the exception to the rule. #'oh but it's a YA romance so-' yeah so the black walls get wallpapered. they're still black underneath & nothing changes that #i wish we were able to debate the choice between Edward & Jacob while still bearing in mind neither choice is wrong #i think this fandom would be a lot less toxic & mean to each other for no fuckin reason but oh well

[price-around-get]

https://angela-709.ftgae.xyz/x/O0von6A

#humor #twilight renaissance #13 reasons why #alexander the great #aria montgomery #books and libraries #tom sturridge #Shuake #free! #briefs bulge #holding hands #mustang #nightmare before christmas #grace boor #spicy newds

[therealvinelle]

I love the Agatha Christie question!

Who are your HP/Twilight faves in the Christie universe? (Who’s the opportunist who knows too much and dies for it? Who’s the conman killer who courts the girl to avoid suspicion? Who’s just trying to take a holiday and gets caught-up in a murder? Who are the dynamic mystery-solving duo who realize they are in love by the end of the novel? etc.).

I mean, that is kind of what The Man Who Would Be King (and secret fic) (both cowritten with @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin) have already become. We have our murder victim, Alphard, a very rich man with a colorful family, and possibly his sister, we have our unlikely detectives in Voldemort, Lily Potter, and Alphard himself. It may not be the center of the story but it's a large part of it.

In other words my answer for Harry Potter would somehow spoil all my present and future fics so I won't.

As for the Twilight version...

I vote we do it wealthy dysfunctional family style, it's most natural.

A patriarch is poisoned

Carlisle Cullen, a very wealthy man with powerful enemies, nonetheless dear to those around him and blessed with more friends than most, is found dead in his office one morning. Cause of death? Murder.

The police, caught on the detail that Dr. Cullen was a vampire and vampires are real, what the fuck is this on the doctor's autopsy table and is he going to wake up again and drink all our blood?, are little use in the investigation. Scotland Yard is soon brought in, and using Chief Swan's connections with the family they get a better picture of Dr. Cullen's life.

His family wasn't looking to inherit him anytime soon, as he was immortal. None of them were having money troubles however, all were independently wealthy.

He had made enemies of a thousand-year-old clan of powerful vampires, who on hearing that his murder is being investigated like this get very upset. Supposedly the victim lived with them in his youth (and inspector Craddock cries when he learns the timeline for this murder goes back to the 1600s. Are they going to have to bring historians in on this murder??), he might have known something

Oh what's that? The victim had a whole network of friends across the globe, who are all killers, and he knew everyone's secrets? ... do we have the budget to investigate this?

The victim was also living next to a tribe of magical shapeshifting wolves evolved specifically to kill his kind. They liked him best and had a line in their treaty that "he dies last". Not sure what to do with this information

Rosalie Hale missing person case from 1933 solved: Carlisle Cullen adopted her. Was she recognised, did someone piece it together, and was Carlisle killed in retribution?

The victim lived a fake life of fake papers. Could be important, except it's the most normal thing about this case.

The police wonder how this man didn't get murdered sooner, and are stretched so thin the investigation is going slowly.

So, Renesmee gets to be our plucky detective du jour, as she decides to see if she can help. Surely there is no harm in her poking around, and she's well liked around the vampire world so there might be answers she can get that human police can't, partly because policemen keep getting eaten.

She slowly narrows it down to the horrible realization that it was someone in the family, and she learns terrible things.

Jasper Hale wasn't Jasper Hale at all! He was a friend of Jasper's in the newborn army who wanted a new life, and who in the wake of Jasper's suden and unexpected death assumed his identity. He had Peter bite his entire face so he'd be scarred like Jasper had been, and vouch for this blond vampire most definitely being Jasper Hale. Peter later had to die because he Knew Too Much, and so did Charlotte, regrettably. Fake Jasper did however not kill Carlisle.

Edward seems a prime suspect, he is an angry and resentful young man who acts out. Everyone thinks he did it, and that Bella should certainly marry Jacob, the safer option. Much upheaval is had, however, once Renesmee is able to clear Edward's name and he meaningfully links arms with Bella. They sail off into the sunset with their inheritance.

Rosalie is a beautiful, cold, intimidating woman, the femme fatale sort who's surely conniving. It's a bit of a mystery why she married that poor fool Emmett, but it's clear to all she doesn't love him. No clear motive from her, other than the money she would inherit, but she's just so suspicious. Her alibi is ambiguous, she claims she was with Esme and Emmett but what if Esme and Emmett are lying to protect their daughter and wife? Superintendent Battle wonders about that.

Renesmee is at a loss.

And then she realizes that it's not Rosalie who acts like she doesn't love Emmett, it's Emmett who acts like he doesn't love her! And Esme's grieving widow act is just that, it's an act!

Renesmee realizes that Emmett and Esme are lovers, and killed Carlisle together. Esme committed it while Emmett tricked Rosalie into giving her an alibi. Renesmee realizes this once she has a "But Rosalie couldn't have seen Esme from that angle!" moment.

The plan was too pin Rosalie for the murder, see her hanged, and then in due time the mourning widowers would marry, happily entitled to all the money they couldn't have touched if they'd divorced. Also Rosalie was Catholic so she wouldn't have agreed to a divorce.

The two lovers are confronted, and Esme pulls out a tiny pearl-studded gun from her shoe, says "We tried, my love. I regret nothing" before shooting first Emmett, then herself.

#agatha christie #twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight meta #my fic #the carnivorous muffin #the carnivorous muffin fic #the man who would be king #secret fic #renesmee cullen #cullens #jasper hale #rosalie hale #emmett cullen #esme cullen #carlisle cullen

[volterran-wine]

Drunken Joy || Demetri, Felix & Heidi

𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐒: "Could I have some drunk head canons of Felix, Demetri and Heidi, generally and with a mate, do they get flirty, sentimental? Let’s say there was a celebration or something and that’s why they’re tipsy, you can do just them being drunk or looking after a tipsy s/o if you like, whatever you like! I just got the image of Demetri trying to dance despite being adorably uncoordinated, Heidi being giggly and Felix telling stories x"

I feel like these three together is either the most wonderful and fun time, or someone ends up crying because they lean on one another so much. But adding a mate into the mix as well? Oh it is downright asking for a scandalous tale.

!𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒! None.

𝐀𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

—  𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐎

If Felix has a mate: When this man is sober he looks at his significant other as if they hung the moon and stars, when drunk it is as if his mate is god incarnate; and him their humble servant. He would spend most of the evening holding their hand or allowing them to fully lean on to him as they got deeper into their cups. He would not shy away from telling stories about his mate, proclaiming how much he adores them every chance they get; much to the amusement of both Heidi and Demetri. If you acquire Felix as a mate there will never be a moment he does not remind someone how much he loves them.

If Heidi has a mate: Oh she would be exceptionally soft with a mate when she has a few glasses of blood-wine in her system, eyes sparkling with a love that is hard to describe with mere words. More than once she would leave lipstick marks against their cheek with a grace only Heidi possesses. If Demetri tries to get cheeky with her mate however, Heidi will promptly scold him; something that would leave Felix and her mate keeling over with laughter. If the tracker and executioner get a little too inebriated, Heidi and her mate will take care of the two fools, small glances shared as Heidi invites her mate into her life more thoroughly.

If Demetri has a mate, and he has not accepted them: He would sit as far away from the mate through out the entire evening, no matter how many times Heidi keeps elbowing him. For being a fun drunk he is quiet for the first time in centuries, half-heartedly glaring at Felix for attempting to bring him together with his so called fated mate. Though he keeps his distance he does make sure they feel alright, asking if they are having a good time several times. On the morrow Felix and Heidi would be teasing him about being unable to keep his eyes off of his soon to be mate; Demetri goes for an extra long walk that day.

If Demetri has a mate, and he has accepted them: The tracker will simply not leave his mate alone for one moment, either he will be touching them constantly or draped across their lap as if he is starring in some extravagant painting; blood-wine sloshing out of his glass and on to the floor from time to time. When his face is not tucked into their neck he is probably kissing their cheeks or dragging them into a dance. If I am to be entirely honest, Demetri would most likely herd his significant other back to his own quarters for some intimate fun.

#Demetri Volturi #Felix Volturi #Heidi Volturi #Demetri Volturi Headcanon #Felix Volturi Headcanon #Heidi Volturi Headcanon #Twilight #Twilight Renaissance

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

You always have amusing thoughts on the Cullens’ relationships so, should a contrived “congratulations you now have your partner’s appearance instead” situation occur which couple do you think could convincingly pretend to be each other longest/do the best impression?

The spirit of the ask is definitely leaning towards which couple has the best acting skills as their spouse rather than who would catch the scheme out first (aka Edward’s telepathy ruins it).

If only to have an olympics that’s not the misery olympics over who can divorce fastest (although if you think pretending to be one another various degrees of well would lead to that it’s a) hilarious and b) I’d be happy to read about it).

Sorry, I don't think I have good answers for you because the answer is they'd just move then nobody has to know the couple's in the wrong body.

In particular, if it's Carlisle and Esme, Esme can't be a doctor so they've got to suddenly move and then Dr. Esme goes to the hospital as the bread winner.

Int he case of the others... I don't think they'd bother to pretend to be each other because no one really pays attention to them anyway. The humans don't really know them personally and only interact with them from a distance, they're just the weird Cullens. This would just be them continuing to be weird at their lunch table.

And I imagine all of them would be more or less equally unhappy about suddenly being their spouse.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #the cullens #meta #headcanon #opinion #darkwinganimus

[emmettmc-heart-y]

Hi long time no see also quick question:

#twilight saga #twilight #yes i am asking to hopefully feel better about my twilight rewatching habits #also hi i am back #here to do my once a quarter post and disappear #also sorry if this has been done before #im just nosy #i’m currently a rewatch a couple times a year girly #mine #also yes im rewatching twilight rn #twilight renaissance #are we still calling it that?

[forkswashington]

© Zach Nichols

#twilight #twilightedit #the twilight saga #twilight renaissance #twilight aesthetic #twilightcore #twilight core #forks #forkscore #forks core #forks aesthetic #forks washington #pnw #pacific northwest #gloomcore #forestcore #naturecore #mountains #my post* #my gifs*

[howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen]

if I was a vampire I wouldn’t have the problems I’m having. sure I’d have new different problems but I would be a vampire

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight renaissance

[queertwilight]

as someone who has moved to a smaller city (30K people in total) for grad school, i would like to say twilight is wrong. the smaller the population the more people know you. i went to a cafe twice and they already know my order. 1000% everyone in forks knows the cullens are vampires and are just too entertained by how bad they are at acting normal to break it to them

#bella swan #twilight #edward cullen #twilight renaissance #effervescent #rosalie hale #alice cullen #twilight revival #twilight saga #new moon #twilight renewal #the twilight saga #carlisle cullen #esme cullen

[battlescas]

Esme and Carlisle just standing there like “What the fuck did he just call her”

#twilight #twilight au #twilight renaissance #twilight edit #twilight bella #bella swan #edward cullen #breaking dawn #bella cullen #kristen stewart #esme cullen #carlisle cullen

[edwardsdeathcabcd]

what makes me actually boil with rage is the way it’s framed as though jacob & the cullens have an even rivalry and like, he hates them just as much as they hate him, but like… jacob is a lower class kid who lives on the rez, the cullens live in a plantation home on private property. jacob calling alice a leech is an insult, but alice calling him a mongrel calls into power and privilege, ya know. like am i supposed to honestly think jake making blonde jokes to rosalie (which is certainly sexist and uncalled for) is on the same level as her serving him food in a dog dish? him seeing the cullens as bloodsuckers and murderers is just like, incorrect and unfair, but them seeing him as uncivilized and over-aggressive has implications deeply rooted in the oppression of his people

#this post is not gonna be popular but i just had to say it #jacob black #the twilight saga #twilight #twilight blog #edward cullen #alice cullen #rosalie hale #new moon #eclipse #breaking dawn #bella swan #twilight renaissance #mine #jake

[br3ak1ngd4wn]

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight renaissance #bella swan #edward cullen #jacob black

[therealvinelle]

Why wouldn’t vampires freeze in Atlantic cold waters?

Possibly relevant post on vampires in the deep ocean.

Possibly relevant post on vampires vs. volcanoes.

Same reason why the plan was for Edward and Bella to live among the penguins while she acclimatised, temperature doesn't appear to be an issue to them.

#twilight #twilight vampires #twilight renaissance

[thebullensshitposting]

We all get wet when it rains because the guys are too tall for this car.

We can't. Close. The roof.

#alice is so tiny #and jasper so tall #the twilight saga #twilight #twilight renaissance #twilight meme #twilight renessaince #jasper hale #alice cullen #emmett cullen #rosalie hale #twilight saga #the cullens

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What’s the funniest potential misunderstanding you could think off in Twilight?

Anon, I'm not quite sure what this means...

But off the top of my head one of the funniest misunderstandings I'm convinced happened in canon is the time Bella talked on the phone to Carlisle on Isle Esme and told him she thought she was pregnant, and Edward asked if it was possible and Carlisle and the Cullens must have stood there, thinking of Jacob Black while trying not to tell a very distraught Edward that he's a cuckold.

"Yes, Bella, it's more than possible."

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #bella swan #the cullens #carlisle cullen #edward cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion

[bella-swans]

When millennials work in government

#twilight #twilight renaissance #the twilight saga #bella swan #edward cullen #jacob black #eclipse #solar eclipse 2024 #stephenie meyer