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apolloniaheaven · 2 months

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A Forceful Reminder

Summary - an insecure, chubby girl gets forced to face her beauty

[Pairing - gxg] [Length - 3k]

Content Warning - dubcon, body image issues

"Tabby, you simply have to come!" Her coworker and close friend of three years said as she stirred her black, sugarless tea. "I can't go to the wedding alone."

Tabitha tried to smile. "Liz, why don't you take your boyfriend?"

"Apparently he'll be working on that weekend," Liz sighed, running a hand through her short black pixie cut. "Asshole. I think we're coasting towards a breakup but at this point, I don't really care. The sex isn't that good either."

Tabitha bit her lip and added more sugar to her cup of instant coffee and immediately regretted it. She couldn't dump it back in the packet, so she miserably added hot water and watched the fragrant steam rise.

"What about you?" Liz asked, turning sideways so she could squeeze past Tabitha to reach the microwave to heat up her croissant.

Her body brushed against Tabitha, causing her to jump slightly. The kitchenette was small and everyone seemed to complain about it, but no one actually had a problem with moving around till Tabitha was in there too. Her coworkers were all very professional and didn't even seem to notice her size, but Tabitha was so self-conscious that they might as well have been eyeing her constantly and making remarks.

"Tabby?" Liz nudged her.

"Oh! Um, what was the question?" Tabitha asked, pushing a strand of curly brown hair behind her ear.

"Are you seeing anyone? Fucking anyone?" Liz's lips pulled up into a mischievous grin.

Tabitha's face went warm and she hurriedly lifted the mug of coffee to her face to try and hide the blush. The coffee burned her tongue as she sipped it.

"Um... Well," Tabitha fumbled, mortified.

Did Liz know she was still a virgin at twenty-four? What was she going to say? She wasn't good at lying either, so that was off the table. Her perceptive friend would see right through her.

Liz flapped her hand like she was shooing the question out of the air.

"Oh, sorry Tabby. That's a rather personal question, isn't it? I forget myself sometimes."

"It's okay," Tabitha said quietly, and she gladly let Liz prattle on about the wedding, which people would be there, and what the hell she was going to wear because she didn't own any dresses.

"Oof, I forgot I have to make some document copies for the Big Guy," Liz said, gulping down the rest of her tea. "I think I'm close to a promotion, so I have to keep up my pace."

Tabitha glanced at her, admiring the way her white blouse clung to her small, firm breasts and smoothed over her slender stomach. Liz did yoga three times a week and lifted weights at the gym as well. Her body was strong and muscular, bordering on masculine. Liz was glorious to look at. Tabitha was terrified of going to the gym. People would laugh at her. Well, maybe they wouldn't but Tabitha would rather die than risk the chance. Her mother's voice still haunted her. The last time she and her mother had talked on the phone her mother had said,

"Have you lost some weight, my dear? You need to drop some of the pounds. No man would like to marry a whale and as you know, the clock is ticking!"

And then her mother laughed like it was a great joke and hung up. Tabitha had cried, curled up in her bed. She felt so, so helpless. Her mother was right, she needed to at least try. But the task seemed so daunting, and every attempt in the past had only led to binging and more weight gain.

"Lost in your thoughts again?" Liz said.

Tabitha's eyes zeroed in on her friend. "Sorry," she said.

"You have nothing to apologize for!" Liz laughed. "How about we go shopping for dresses together after work? The stores will still be open."

"I... I don't know," Tabitha said. "I've never been to a wedding."

"It'll be fine," Liz said and put a finger under Tabitha's chin. "Please. Come on, give me a smile."

Tabitha pulled her lips into something of a grimace, and Liz shook her head in amusement.

"Okay, I gotta run. I'll see you later?" Liz said before leaving.

Tabitha swallowed hard. She could still feel the lingering sensation of Liz's touch. It reminded her that she had a crush on her friend, and she hated it. Fat girls were never so lucky as to find love, that was what she had been told and despite herself- believed. Besides that, Liz had a boyfriend and was probably straight. Tabitha shook her head to herself and took her coffee to her desk. She had to stop thinking about it.

A few hours later, she was working on her laptop when a voice said,

"Well, you definitely need some shopping therapy!"

"What?" Tabitha looked up to see Liz leaning against her desk with both hands.

The band of her ID card was nestled between her breasts, the tops of her small breasts visible as she leaned down to look at her friend. She had a small mole on the swell of her left breast. Tabitha's eyes shot back up nervously but if Liz had noticed her staring, she didn't say anything about it.

"Shopping," Liz said. "You know work hours were officially over twenty minutes ago?"

"I was, um, just trying to squeeze some more work in," Tabitha replied.

"You came to work with the bus, right? Let's take my car," Liz said.

They took the elevator down together. They were some of the last people in the building, so they were alone in the elevator. Liz sighed and rolled her sleeves, showcasing a tattoo on her forearm. Tabitha sucked in a breath.

"I didn't know you had that!" She said. "Since when?"

Liz cracked a grin. "A few weeks ago. Sexy, right?"

"Yeah," Tabitha agreed.

The elevator dinged, and they stepped out. Tabitha took a deep breath of the crisp air, berating herself mentally. Wasn't she making her attraction too obvious? Did Liz know and she was just too nice to say anything about it?

She would probably never know.

For all of Liz's excitement to go shopping, the woman seemed a little lost as they stepped into one of the stores.

"I've got to be real with you, I've never worn a dress before in my life," she said.

"Really?" Tabitha laughed. "Well, you do have a tomboy sort of vibe."

"Yep. Unfortunately for my parents, I never grew out of it," Liz smirked. "Let's quickly pick something out for me, and then we can spend more time looking for something for you."

"Oh, anything will do," Tabitha said hastily.

"No," Liz said, fixing her with a look. "I want your dress to be as radiant as you. It's got to match."

Tabitha's eyes widened and she laughed nervously. "R-radiant like me?"

"Yeah," Liz didn't seem to think much of her compliment, but Tabitha was freaking out inside.

That was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her. Liz held a blue dress up against her chest.

"What do you think?"

"It looks nice, but I think you'll look even better in green," Tabitha said.

"Aha, this one is green," Liz said, pulling another dress off the rack. "Damn, look at that low back. Everyone is going to see how muscular my back is. My parents will throw a fit."

"Your parents are going to be there too?" Tabitha asked, touching the silky material of the dress.

She remembered that Liz didn't get along too well with her strict, religious parents.

"Yeah. And they hate me looking too manly. Prissy bitches," Liz grumbled sourly.

"I think you'd look great in it," Tabitha said.

Liz's eyes lit up. "You do, huh? Let me try the dress on and we'll see what you think then."

When Liz stepped out of the changing room and twirled, Tabitha's mouth dropped open.

"Wow," she said. "You weren't kidding about being muscular."

Liz flexed her back, and Tabitha burst out laughing.

"Stop it," she grinned and then sobered up. "But really, the dress fits you so nicely."

"I agree. I'll buy this one," Liz said decisively. "Your turn!"

Liz had really meant what she said about spending more time on her. They went through several dresses until Liz picked out a peach-colored one with a plunging neckline.

"You have to try this one on!"

"Really?" Tabitha said hesitantly.

She didn't like showing much skin. Her breasts had stretch marks, and this dress would show that. But she didn't want to disappoint her friend, so she stepped into the changing room to at least try it on. It fit like a glove, delighting Tabitha. The only problem was that she couldn't pull the zipper up on her own.

"Um, Liz?" She squeaked. "I can't get the zipper up."

"I'll help you. Can I come in?"

Tabitha opened the door and Liz stepped in. The changing room could fit one person comfortably, but with two of them in there, they were practically up against each other. Tabitha turned her back slowly, unhappy about Liz seeing her back rolls. Liz grabbed the zipper and was about to pull it up when Tabitha blurted out,

"I'm sorry."

"What for?" Liz paused, looking at her in the mirror.

"Um," Tabitha said. "For having to see me sort of naked?"

Liz sighed, and her hands dropped. "Tabitha..."

Hearing a note of unhappiness in her friend's voice, Tabitha hurried to undo the damage.

"Sorry for ruining the mood," she said. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"You know... I see the way you treat yourself," Liz said slowly. "And I think that's a shame. You're so self-conscious about your body that you're blinded to your beauty, Tabitha."

"H-huh?" Tabitha stammered, staring at Liz in the mirror.

The front of the dress began to droop, so she quickly held it up.

"What are you talking about?" Tabitha said.

"You're beautiful. You're so damn pretty, and you can't or won't see it," Liz said quietly.

"I'm not," Tabitha sighed. "You don't have to try and make me feel better, Liz."

"I'm not. I guess I'm just tired of keeping my thoughts to myself," Liz said.

Instead of zipping up the dress, she put her hands on Tabitha's hips and pulled her back against her body. Tabitha went very still, flushing hot and cold with confusion.

"What are you doing?" Tabitha murmured, her eyes wide with shock, breath catching in her throat.

"Trying to convince you to see what I see," Liz said, her lips very close to Tabitha's neck.

Goosebumps covered Tabitha's arms. "Liz... You have a boyfriend."

"Not anymore, actually," Liz smirked. "I broke up with him over a text message."

"That's... Kind of horrible," Tabitha said.

"He deserved it," Liz said.

One of her hands came up and yanked on the front of the dress, pulling it out of Tabitha's hands. It dropped, exposing her large breasts which were clad in a red bra.

"Liz!" Tabitha gasped, trying not to be too loud.

"Look at yourself, Tabby," Liz said.

Tabitha turned her head away with a defiant huff. The chubby woman was not expecting her friend to grab her jaw and force her to look back at the mirror. Tabitha's eyes were wide, pupils dilated. Her body trembled.

"Liz, please stop," she whimpered.

"Why should I? I know you think I'm attractive, Tabby. I'm just returning the favor," Liz whispered in her ear.

Liz's voice had become deep and rough, almost unrecognizable. Tabitha bit down on her lip to stifle a cry of surprise when Liz cupped her bra-clad breasts with her hands.

"You have such nice tits, you know. Shame that you're always hiding them," Liz said.

Even though Tabitha felt vulnerable and stripped naked of her pride, she didn't stop her friend from groping her breasts. A small whimper of shame escaped her lips and she said,

"They look like overbaked muffins. They're always spilling out."

Liz let out a small laugh.

"You're just too good for me to let you slip out of my fingers, Tabby. And since you refuse to see the good side of yourself, I'm going to make you."

"What are you even talking about-" Tabitha shuddered when Liz yanked the bra cups down, letting her breasts spill out.

Neither of them could pretend this wasn't happening anymore. Nor could they just stop and carry on shopping like normal. Things could never be normal between them ever again. Tabitha's mouth popped open as she stared at her breasts. Her nipples were so hard that they tingled. There was no denying she was aroused, even though she shouldn't be.

Liz was kind of forcing this onto her.

"Look at you," Liz purred, her hands coming up and gripping Tabitha's breasts, her index fingers circling over her nipples.

Liz's hands looked even more manly from this angle. Honestly, she had nice-looking arms. She was quite a bit taller, having to lean down slightly. Tabitha had to grab the bar on the wall where clothes could be hung to stay upright as her legs wobbled. They were both breathing hard in the tiny space, staring at each other in the mirror. Liz's expression was all hard, hungry angles now. Tabitha had to slap her hand against her mouth to muffle her squeal when Liz lowered her head and bit her shoulder gently, soothing it away with a kiss.

"So soft," Liz said, and for probably the first time in her life, Tabitha felt good about that word.

Her lips parted, her mind battling whether she should tell Liz to stop or not. Liz released her breast, smoothing her hands over Tabitha's belly.

"Let's get you out of this dress," Liz said, pushing it down over her hips. "It looks great on you by the way."

"T-thank you?" Tabitha replied, cringing as the dress finally came down and she was left in her matching bra and panties.

Liz draped the dress over the bar and put her arms around Tabitha again, holding her close.

For a moment they just stood together and looked. Tabitha hadn't looked at herself in a full-length mirror in months and she found herself staring critically at her body. Was Liz really telling the truth? Did she like her like this? Soft folds on her belly and thighs that didn't have a gap between them? Tabitha snapped out of her thoughts when Liz cupped her breasts again.

"I like big tits," Liz said. "You know, not many people know that I'm bisexual. My parents would kill me if they knew. It's our secret, right?"

"Yes... Okay." Tabitha gulped.

Liz grinned, and one of her hands snuck over Tabitha's soft stomach, moving downwards.

"Wait!" Tabitha yelped. "Wait..."

"Shhh!" Liz hissed back. "We don't want anyone to hear you now, do we?"

Tabitha could only whimper in response as Liz pushed her hand into her underwear. Her finger slid through her soft curls, brushing against her clit and labia which was warm and slippery, telling her all she needed to know. Tabitha's face went bright red as Liz laughed softly.

Liz curled her finger and rubbed it gently against her clit and Tabitha jumped like she had been electrocuted as hot pleasure raced through her. Conflicted, she grabbed Liz's wrist, though her hand refused to do more than that. After a mocking pause, Liz continued her ministrations. It was embarrassingly obvious that even if Tabitha was having second thoughts, her body was all for it.

She closed her eyes and tried not to make any noise as Liz rubbed her clit with one hand and played with her breast with the other, pinching her nipple.

"I can't wait to do this again someplace private," Liz said. "I want to hear all the cute sounds you make."

Her words were rewarded by even more slickness from between Tabitha's legs, and she grinned.

"You like the idea of a next time," Liz said triumphantly. "You like this."

"No," Tabitha lied.

Liz paused, and Tabitha's eyes flew open.

"I guess I've failed then," Liz said offhandedly. "We can buy the dresses and go."

Tabitha bit her lip. All she wanted to do was ask Liz to continue, but now that she had her focus back, she felt painfully vulnerable. She was reaching for the dress when Liz grabbed her wrist and pulled her around.

"I don't think so," Liz said. "I'm not giving up on you that easily."

Tabitha sucked in a breath when Liz's hand dipped between her legs again, teasing her. This time, she kept her damn mouth shut. Tabitha stared up at Liz's face, wondering if this counted as consensual or not. She wasn't saying no. At least, not anymore.

"Stop thinking," Liz said. "You're ruining your orgasm."

Tabitha blushed. "I can't tell if I'm going to hate you for this or not," she confessed.

"If I didn't think this was worth potentially ruining our friendship I wouldn't be doing it," Liz retorted.

The situation was so confusing and arousing and Liz looked dead serious even with her hand between Tabitha's legs. She couldn't help it, she giggled and looked away. Liz caught her jaw and made her look up at her. The woman stared down into her eyes, catching each tiny cue as she finally slid two fingers inside.

Tabitha leaned forward and pressed her mouth against Liz's shoulder to muffle her moan. It felt so good to have someone else touch her for a change. Her hips twitched, pressing her pussy harder against her friend's fingers, begging for more.

"You are so fucking tight," Liz murmured breathlessly.

Because I'm technically a virgin who barely masturbates, Tabitha thought silently.

She gripped Liz's shirt and said,

"Please, Liz. More."

Liz gave her exactly what she asked for, squeezing a third finger in while her thumb tapped and rubbed Tabitha's clit, a combination that had her legs trembling with pleasure. When she climaxed she couldn't help the cry she let out, partially muffled against her friend's shoulder. Liz pulled her fingers out, her eyes heated as she leaned against the wall. Keeping eye contact with Tabitha, she sucked her fingers clean, taking her time, as if she was savoring the taste.

Tabitha pulled her clothes on silently. When they exited the changing room, an employee was standing nearby with a suspicious look on his face. Tabitha paid for her dress first and hurried out of the shop, leaving Liz behind. Once she was out of the store, she began to jog. She needed to get away and think. She didn't remember the last time she'd been this active.

It actually felt good.

But... How was she going to face her friend now?

#gxg #gxg smut #nsft txt #smut #smut writing #literotica #wlw #lgbt nsft #chubby #lesbian #sapphic

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cat-eared-rose · 7 months

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This post is gonna be talking about some heavier stuff, so please be advised!

cw for: abuse, mental health, and trauma

I've been spending a lot of time recently taking a closer look at myself and my past, and it's definitely been a bit of an eye opener.

This started because I recently stopped talking to my parents, completely. A very uncomfortable phone call about me being trans and very minimal celebration (if you can even consider it a celebration) of me getting married (I got two "congratulations?" And then my mom just made it about herself, asking why she wasn't told sooner 😞) was really the last straw for me. I yelled at my dad, telling him I wasn't going to have this conversation with him, and blocked both their numbers.

It was a really scary thing to do, because it's difficult for me to imagine my life without my parents. Not that I enjoyed their presence, or that they were doing anything significant for me right now, but it's just scary to think that could be it. Like, I feel it's my responsibility to talk to them, and keep in touch, but I know it's best for me not to reach out again, considering how they make me feel.

After a few days of being nervous my parents would show up at my doorstep because I had the audacity to not talk to them, I started researching a bit more about child abuse. I definitely knew my childhood wasn't great, but I needed a little extra reassurance to help me stand by my decision.

I started looking into things like verbal and emotional abuse, narcissistic family structures (I'm almost certain my mother is a narcissist), and what sorts of things can stem from that.

I ended up learning that I was abused in ways that I never even really recognized, nor cared to remember.

My mother is definitely a narcissist since a majority of what she complains about with me is that I make her look bad to other people. She used to force me to get good grades in school (Mostly As and some Bs, Cs weren't ever enough) and I'd get spanked if I didn't do s good job. And when I did, I'd basically get "that's what you're supposed to do. You want celebration for doing what you're supposed to? Fuck off", and a ton of other shit like that which really made me realize that a lot of the praise i got from my parents was just shit they wanted me to do, and even then it felt pretty superficial....

My mom also used to hit me a lot: spanking me, slapping me, she used to hug me, and then either dig her nails into my ribs or squeeze my back very sharply like she was trying to snap me in half. I was super scared and uncomfortable with personal contact for a LONG while because of this, and I'm still a little edgy about it at times.

My dad wasn't as bad as my mom, at least from what I thought, but I also realized from reading that he's actually just as bad (if not worse) because he would enable my mom's terrible behavior. When I used to go to him and say my mom said something mean to me, or hurt me in some way, he would tell me I was overreacting and that "she's just joking with you, bud", and I never really received help...

When I was 16, my mom told me my life was worthless, and by then, I was so numb I didn't even really care.

After realizing that a lot of things were worse than I remembered (way more, but I'm not going to recount my ENTIRE life story lol), I started looking at what kinds of issues people going through this sort of thing can run into, and figured out that I had PTSD because of a lot of the trauma I'd gone through.

This came to a head when about a day later, I remembered that I was afraid of the dark because when I used to sneak food at night (because I was hungry, and never ate breakfast due to stomach issues), my mom would stand in the dark waiting for me to pass her room and grab me to scare me. Then shed yell at me, tell me I'm being too loud and waking everyone up,.and make me out the food back and go to sleep. It makes more sense, in retrospect, that whenever I imagined something scary in the dark, it was a woman with long, dark hair (how my mom looks)

Remembering this gave me a really intense flashback, and I had to take the next day off of work because I just didn't get a good rest that night....

I never really felt any positive emotions for a long time, and I just thought it was how I was, but after receiving a lot of support and love from all my partners, I actually started feeling happy, and excited for things, and realized that the reason I didn't feel those emotions was because of the PTSD

My parents of fucked me up so God damn much, and I'm remembering more shit all the time. I'm honestly more upset I didn't make this decision sooner, but I don't blame myself. My years of trauma made me think that I was destined to fail, and that i was going to have to go back to my parents. But I know how the best thing for me to do is just to cut them out completely and pick up the pieces left behind.

I also never realized that not remembering, basically any of your childhood, is not a normal thing and that these memories are instead most likely repressed in a section of my brain I don't really access due to the harsh events associated with them. Hopefully soon, I'll be able to work through a lot of this, and maybe reclaim some of my childhood by regaining those memories.

It's one more step forward on the path of self understanding and recovery, and although it's been quite difficult for me to think of and process all of this, I can already feel that I'm getting better, even after a few days of recognizing this (I'm not as scared of the dark anymore knowing my mom isn't waiting there to get me, so that's a plus :3)

Just wanted to talk about it, so if you read all this, thank you for listening 💖

#rose bud #cw abuse #cw mental health #cw PTSD #ask to tag

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bishiglomper · 7 months

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Cannot sleeeeeep. Have to w h i i i i n e

Woke up to stabbies. Been getting these electrical stabs the last couple weeks. Figure its fibro. I dont see why it would be my new pill. But my body picks a spot and then it feels like im being STUNG. REPEATEDLY. Tonight its the opposite spot of my scar's location.

And i hear beeping. I think its bro's alarm. He does not wake up easily. If i tell him to turn it off, he will and go back to sleep.

And the nephew keeps turning on the hallway light.

And I'm obsessing over a niece issue.

Bong water has not been using a litterbox. They're upstairs, i think she just isn't going upstairs anymore.

Conversation with niece went like:

"I picked up 2 piles of poop from bong water last night."

"You can take her back to my apartment whenever you want"

"Are you going to be there?"

"Nope."

"If i bring a litterbox down, will you help me clean it?"

"I dont do the litterbox at MY house."

Bitch. You do not deserve a fucking cat. Or any pet. She killed her rats from neglect.

If i wasnt so against returning poor helpless furbabies to the shelter for insignificant reasons...........

But also we already have FOUR CATS. We were supposed to stop at Cinderbelle. But then Pantera, Pooka and Reno happened....

We cannot own another cat. It's already been a month. If the landlord notices... 😣 We've babysat other animals before but like i said its been a month. Niece doesnt seem to have plans for leaving either. I guess shes fine paying rent for an empty house and just sleeping on our couch forever. If we kick her out, she'll just couch surf. At least her boyfriend is in jail.....ffs

I barely have the executive function to clean MY cats litterboxes, and they're right outside my door. For just this purpose. I'm not gonna be able to do a downstairs one. I cannot tote the container of litter between flights. Just. No.

I dont think i can tell her friend (original owner of bw) to take her because she lives with a toxic af mother and i dont think the situation is safe.

SO, WHAT DO D:

Also the house is so bad. Made worse by now cat shit all over the place. But everyone is really struggling physically, and between the house and our own bodies, our mental health is fucked up too.

Moms stomach is fucked. She does not want to eat. She does. She resorts to junk food when she gets hungry but i cant complain because she wont let us feed her otherwise.

And sissy fucked up her back. I dont know what all shes doing for it but shes done muscle relaxants, back brace and tens unit occassionally. She refuses a heating pad for some reason.

Lately my symptoms are fibro shit, stomach pain, asthma, a strained/tired back, and tachycardia. The tachicardia is the worst because it kicks up when I get up. And eat. It settles down when i rest. Also the asthma. Just going up/down the stairs makes me do this dry throat clearing kind of cough for the next 10 minutes after the tiniest pinch of exertion. And I've woken up gasping a few nights.

Those two need to see some fuckin doctors. Mine can't do anything for me, but at least I jump through those fuckin hoops. I see everyone. All the specialists. I'm trying my best here. I have some major flaws that im sure frustrate the family, but this irritates me that they won't see people.

Mom especially. The only appointments she has are for literal surgical consults and she flaked on ONE situation already. Next one is for somethig else. No idea if she'll ever do anything about her previous issue she needs fixed 🙄😤

And also my sister is going blind and has high blood pressure but won't take her medicine. Her reasoning is because then she'll have to order more and go through setting it up and shit. Executive function issues i guess. Mom has been setting it up and giving it to her but i never remember and sometimes she forgets too.

Like do you know how many pills i take to have some semblance of function and not die? This is also frustrating to see.

I don't know what to do about any of this.

If we got rid of the cat, the niece would disown us. Which honestly, if she werent already riding a fine line of unsafe i wouldn't mind so much, she'd get over it eventually. Once she had the maturity to. 🙄 Because it's not like it would be out of spite. But sissy is on eggshells making sure we dont push her away. Probably into the arms of another halfway house resident. 😒

Uuuhhgggg

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pyriety-a · 1 year

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“why are you so afraid of being honest with me?” hmmm. Venti??

cheerful as deidre makes herself seem, she's just as human as everyone else. she has cracks in the mask, flaws in the performance. this is one of those moments, and it isn’t the first. she’s lost count of how many times her grin visibly didn’t reach her eyes, how many times her excuses and white lies were looked upon with skepticism. times like this have come and gone before, and this is supposed to be the same way. before, though, she hadn’t been openly confronted about her odd behavior. she kept secrets from people before, but now, even her usual scripts were falling short, to the point where it seemed as though she was simply pushing people away. is it really any surprise that someone as kind as venti decided to confront a friend?

“ i’m sorry. ” that's the first honest thing she’s said all day. “ it isn’t just you i've lied to as of late, it’s… everyone, i guess. but i don’t lie just to spite you or distance myself. i’m trying to keep quiet so you stay around. so everyone stays around. ” venti isn’t the first to wonder what was going on, but they are the only one to push a little more. she can’t decide if she appreciates that or hates it. but regardless of which it is, she's come this far, and backing out now isn't going to be easy. all she can do is push forward and hope it doesn't change their opinion about her.

“ the truth is that i have my… my depressing weeks, like everyone does. but unlike me, they all have a reason to be upset. some people lost their jobs, others have financial issues, some have– ” her eyes drop to the vision on their hip, and as her gaze lingers, she quietly swallows the lump in her throat. when the focus is returned to their face, she sighs, and her voice is quieter. “ some people have lost their loved ones. and then there’s me, with loving parents and two jobs i thoroughly enjoy and a wonderful support system, yet i have the audacity to act as though i deserve to feel the same.

“ i lied and made excuses so i wouldn't annoy you with the truth or chase you away, so you wouldn’t think any less of me for sounding spoiled or… or for being selfish by focusing only on myself. ” it’s far from the same situation, but she remembers how it felt last time they called her selfish, during their first fight; of course she wants to avoid that now. ( at least if she had gone through the same hardship anemo users supposedly have, she would have a reason for this sadness. )

with everything said, she finally takes a breath in, and lets it out in the form of a shaky sigh. it’s been a long time since she’s been so upfront with someone, to the point where she briefly considers cutting the conversation short in embarrassment and simply waiting the rest of the day out in her room. but her feet won’t move anyway, and so she stays frozen in place, with her back against the wall and her arms wrapped around her stomach as if to keep herself together. she doesn’t like someone knowing this much about her, despite it barely being anything at all. it’s enough to make her feel sick.

“ i’m sorry, ” she repeats with a shake of her head. an attempt is made to laugh, but it doesn't work as well as she wants it to, and the accompanying smile doesn't stick either. “ i said i didn’t want to complain, then i talked your ear off anyway... my bad. ”

#✶ — › there’s a fire inside of you that can’t help but shine through. — ⌜ in character ⌟#reason no. 839498 as to why she needs help: /literally just talking about her issues makes her nauseous/#stop praying and start paying for therapy sessions miss girl #barbatosguidesus

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queer0fhearts · 1 year

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Thanks anyway, if anyone read my post. I imagine someone replied but then removed them. I'm not salty about not getting money for food. I can manage with odds & ends until week after next. I know I won't actually starve. I've just been having issues with med changes & having to have food on my stomach. While I am a big girl I still have to eat beforehand at least 😅 I'm losing weight quick tbh. Sounds great if I didn't deal with increased hunger on top regular hunger. I can't complain too much bc having birth control that nearly keeps me from having a period. Back pain was soooo much worse. Everything was worse & honestly, going hungry doesn't compare what condition I thought my body would be in by now.

Going to work on ALL my health stuff & get reworked for disability. I'd rather be able to work.... I would be less down for sure. I'm grateful I can do most things without much pain anymore.. but I know I have to address the nerve issue... Great news, a med that I took before is a narcotic so ofc they're gonna be funny about it. Hopefully as funny as anxiety meds.... Bc I was prescribed pretty easily with being on it before. Idk thank you if anyone reads my fussing? I just feel garbage & low asking for money in the first place.. I don't send anything to anyone I don't know.. not that I have it to give away but you know 😅 I do help when I'm not just trying to maintain myself. I will do whatever it takes to be happy with myself, at least an hour a day hahah

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gothicvalentine · 2 years

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Internal Documents Show Amazon's Dystopian System for Tracking Workers Every Minute of Their Shifts - VICE

"In one of the documents, Amazon explains the purpose of its TOT policy to associates, saying workers’ “commitment to completing assigned tasks is critical in order to be Earth's most customer-centric company.”"

:read more:

I think Amazon's employees are going to have a hard time caring about customers when they have to spend every minute of every shift worrying about being counted "inactive" for even a minute or two.

Like, wtf happens if you have IBS and or get a stomach bug and you have some diarrhea ffs or something else? I'm sure calling in would get you fired but showing up and trying to do the best you could might also get you fired.

No one should ever be worried about getting in trouble at a job for needing to get something to drink or going to the bathroom.

Employers want people to never use sick time or PTO, yet if an employee shows up sick and their productivity is reduced, they get in trouble for that too.

Maybe management never gets sick, but normal people get sick and have emergencies and have lives.

But employers, for the most part, treat their employees like robots. Like they have no lives outside of work (nor should they--they must be available any time they are needed). Like they have no feelings. Like they will never get sick or have a night they couldn't sleep or anything which might temporarily affect their productivity.

Workers are treated like they are disposable machines fully owned by the company or business in question.

And then these motherfuckers have the nerve to complain that they can't find workers and "no one wants to work anymore."

No, people want to be appreciated and treated like humans beings. They want to get paid enough to be able to afford to have a roof over their heads and be able to feed their families. This has become increasingly difficult, if not impossible for some people to achieve.

And I'm not going to lie, but I even find this claim of not being able to find workers to be difficult to believe. I've heard reports of people applying to many jobs and not even getting a call back for an interview. Meanwhile the employer still has a help wanted sign up and is on TV or social media claiming they can't find workers.

Admittedly, this may only be anecdotal, but I've been seeing places in the news for still laying off hundreds or thousands of workers. At the same time the news keeps saying businesses can't find help. Something doesn't add up.

But anyway. Yeah, note to employers: This should not be rocket science, but maybe pay workers more, and/or use your lobbyists to try and find solutions to the housing crisis and childcare and things that would reduce an employer's need to pay employees more. If there are things that are reducing the ability of the middle and lower classes to live normal lives besides just paying them more, then get to work solving those issues if you all want to be cheap ass employers.

Don't be the asshole employer by monitoring your employees' every second. I guarantee you, if some employees are not carrying their weight, and you don't see any evidence of that in their production stats or whatever, their co-workers will rat them out.

And if it's hard to occasionally recognize and state your appreciation for your employees (this is strongly encouraged though, it is free and can really help morale), at the very least try to be as flexible as you can and realize that your employees are people too. With lives of their own with families and friends they want to spend time with, but who may also may cause situations that require time away from work or which may affect an employee's mental health and thus negatively affect their work.

Realize that not all employees have perfect health and that many or most employees want to be able to be there as often as they can, if for no other reason than needing their paycheck.

Accept the fact that at least 90% of the people you interview are only interested in the job for the paycheck and/or benefits. Almost none of them plan to stay with your company until they retire and an even greater number of them do not consider your place of business or the job they are interviewing for to be their dream job. Nor should any interviewers expect those to be the case!

Businesses have for decades reduced benefits nearly every year. Not raised pay enough to begin to cover inflation. Cut and gut pension plans, and made it abundantly clear to employees that businesses have zero appreciation for or loyalty to their employees. Yet they expect employees to grovel for shit jobs that have crappy benefits and they get treated bad by co-workers, bosses and customers?!?!?!? Be grateful the masses have not yet decided to riot against you all and treat your damn employees better!!!!!

#rant #work #capitalism #I'm venting my rage at employers in the United States #but I'm sure this applies in many other countries too #and before the bootlickers go on attack #yes #i realize not all employers are shitty #i also am fully aware that many countries have it far worse than we do (China for starters)#that does not mean we don't have our own issues #or that we should not work to improve those issues #businesses #corporations #late stage capitalism #jobs #workers #unions #i didn't proofread this so I'm sure there are errors/things i could have stated better #but i was just angry at how many people are suffering #and how stressful some places make working #correction: many places make working #this is all just my opinion and I'm in a pissy mood so there's that #long post #employees #employers #i apologize if readmore didn't work I'm on mobile #i will update later so it's not so long once i can get on my laptop

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takoichigo · 3 months

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So I'm at MAGFest.

I didn't do anything today besides pick up my badge and my MAGFest merch. Which nearly fucking killed me. I was extremely dehydrated and at the end of my rope emotionally and it was NOT a good time. And then the guys brought me back lunch, which was a sub. Apparently all the bread at the sub place is absolutely covered with sesame seeds. Like a ludicrous amount of them. But I couldn't like, send it back or not eat it. I can't walk outside in the cold for more than a few steps so my options for food are pretty much limited to what I can get someone to bring me. It tasted good at least, but my insides are going to be incredibly angry when those hit my colon. I can't have seeds or nuts or anything of that nature. I didn't get dinner. They went without me and didn't ask if I wanted them to bring me back anything.

Because I overdid it this morning my body has just shut down, essentially. I have not had any energy to do anything beyond a little tidying. I missed my friend's panel, the one thing I really wanted to go to today. I've basically been in the same position for 10 hours because moving hurts. I've been lying on my stomach. Which is really bad for my elbows, which have been particularly scaly and dry lately, and I also scraped one of them on the stupid textured wall in the bathroom. Intensely painful for no reason other than there are about two positions I can lie in where it doesn't hurt too bad, and one is on my stomach, resting on my elbows. If I'm lucky sometimes I can hit comfortable. At the moment I'm closer to tolerable. I'm trying to go to sleep. My brain isn't having it.

I'm exhausted and not used to sleeping in a room with other people. Especially when one of them snores super loud. Even though this is a person I have shared a bed with several times. They're just loud. It sounds like a buffalo drowning in a mud pit.

Our room neighbors are VERY loud as well. Thankfully it hasn't been an issue while I've been trying to sleep. But they scream at each other instead of conversing. It's annoying, but not unexpected. I'm not gonna cause a fuss over it or anything. People are having fun. I hope they're having a great time. This is a fun event. Unless you have cancer and chemo has crippled you and made your hands and feet useless and stolen all your energy.

I told myself I was going to have fun here. I need to have fun. It is unacceptable for me to just be in this room all weekend. Pain has stolen one day of happiness away from me. It doesn't get to do that for the next three days. If it does I will feel like I have wasted my money, my time, and my energy on doing this, and I'll feel stupid for even thinking I could handle it. I don't want that.

Well my head sure was full of thoughts. This is a genuinely long post. And I could go on even longer about the stupid embarrassing things that have already happened to me. But I won't, because I don't want to think about them anymore. This is enough.

I did have some fun. The hotel TVs show "MAGtv" which is a feed of things that are happening around the fest. I watched three concerts that were happening downstairs and very much enjoyed two of them. They showed two or three panels that I wasn't interested in. They switched to the feed of their charity speedrun for a bit, and a very buff man was juggling things, and every time he dropped one, he'd have to do pushups based on how much had been donated. It was strangely riveting to watch. I enjoyed it.

Anyway, it's going on 2 AM and I took my meds half an hour ago so I should actually feel like sleeping soon. I should have taken them earlier, but I didn't want to miss hanging out with my friends if they came back to the room to chill. Which we did for a while. It was nice. I don't think I made my friend mad about missing his panel. At least I hope I didn't. He still hasn't told me what I did to irritate him. I'm trying to not be a pain. But it's hard. I feel bad that I complained a little about lunch. And also about sideways complaining about them not bringing me dinner. But what can I do? Things are so rarely under my control anymore. Just need to stay as mindful as I can.

Good lord this is a novel. I'm done now, I swear.

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eremiie · 3 years

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not too bad a dad;

❥ eren babysitting ipad kids falco & gabi, i have had this thought on my mind bc i think their interactions would be so funny, so here this is. (bonus if you get the title referene)

❥ eren x reader | 2.1k words | pure fluff

the first time eren had to babysit was quite questionable.

actually, quite worrying if that's a good way to describe it.

you had falco sit on the couch and watch some television to keep himself entertained for the time being, while you sat in your room leaving eren to stay in the living room as well— that is until he slowly opened the door to your shared bedroom. "yes, eren?" you mumbled turning around to see him just standing, head cracked through the door.

"baby, why isn't he doing anything?"

"eren, he's just watching t.v... what do you want him to do?"

"i don't know... he's just... sitting there. he's so quiet, and just..."

you raised an eyebrow at eren watching him finally coming over to massage your shoulders while looking at your computer screen where you were typing away. "okay... that's a good thing eren, let him sit there."

so eren left, still clearly somewhat unnerved by the little boy for whatever reason, but you shrugged it off, continuing to do your work on the device in front of you.

you weren't sure how much time had passed, but you finally removed your eyes from your screen when you heard the clatter of a large object hit the floor. your eyes darted to the clock in front of you to see that it had been maybe an hour since you last saw both eren and falco, so with a sigh you got up and left the room.

the slight shuffling of objects moving around from the kitchen had caused you to turn towards it, to see falco in the middle of the kitchen floor holding a large baking pan with half baked cinammon rolls, some seemingly flattened, oven mitts on both of his hands, and when he turned around to face you the expression on his face was immediate worry and remorse— not to mention the large flour stains on both his shirt and pants.

it was only then you noticed eren beside him on the floor picking up another flattened roll and placing it back on the pan you assumed it fell off of, flour coating him as well as what you could only assume was other miscellaneous baking products.

"i'm— i'm sorry, i was, i wasn't— he— he," falco stumbled over his words causing eren to look up at you with an innocent boyish smile.

"eren...what in the world." you ignored falco, as you figured he wasn't the root of the issue, seemingly coerced by eren into their dilemma.

"oh hey babe, falco and i were making some cinnamon rolls. i thought it'd be fun." you weren't sure if this was fun for falco, the timid boy practically shaking in his socks.

"he asked me to! i— i—"

"it's okay falco... i know. i know." you shook your head at eren and screamed a look that said ‘clean this up right now.’ eren only giving both you and falco a confused expression before you walked back to your room.

you could only pray colt would trust you enough to let falco come back a second time.

there were other times where you wondered if having your own child with eren was even plausible.

you weren't sure if it was news that spread that you were a "great babysitter" or maybe it was eren who was the great sitter, but somehow you were in the brief possession of another kid, although eren almost refused to take care of her in all. of course, he was in no position to refuse, as you sat him down on the couch opposite while you did your own thing in the kitchen, preparing a meal for the three of you.

eren stared at gabi, eyes narrowed at her as if she was a threat to him, her ipad sitting on her chest as she looked up at eren time to time while she layed on the couch away from him. "what? why do you keep staring at me? weirdo..." gabi rolled her eyes swiping away at the device in front of her.

"baby, she just called me weird! did you hear that?" eren immediately complained hands flailing at his sides and you shook your head even though he couldn't see and even though you did hear. if anything, you weren’t sure if you were taking care of one or two kids.

"nope."

"seriously?" he huffed as gabi began to laugh at him causing him to grimace at her and buck at her somewhat playfully causing her to flinch.

"stop! i can beat you up you know." she gave eren a stink face, putting down her device on her stomach and crossing her arms from where she laid.

"eren, don't." you warned, knowing that despite him being a grown man, he'd bicker back and forth with anybody.

"i wasn't even gonna do anything." eren said back to you, still side eyeing gabi.

"yeah, cause you can't." she taunted as you placed the lid over the pot of rice and slinked your way over to your room to grab your phone, only being gone for maybe two minutes as you checked your notifications in your room, standing at the edge of the bed for a bit.

the minute you stepped back out gabi was on top of eren, pulling at his hair as he struggled to get her off of him, pulling at her hands as his face was scrunched up showing his efforts. he picked her up and threw her down onto the couch, and you slapped your hand to your forehead at his childish antics. "oh my gosh— eren stop acting like a child!" you came over and slapped his shoulder.

"what? we were just playing around!" you tugged eren's ear and pulled him to the couch gabi sat at previously with a stern look. gabi stuck her tongue out at eren as you scolded him from the sofa across from her.

"well you might actually hurt her—"

"he can't hurt me!" you turned around and gave gabi a fake smile.

"i don't want to get in trouble with your parents gabi." you said before looking back to eren. "watch it, eren."

sometimes, eren seemed more knowledgable about kids than you.

"look, see how they got to the other side? that used to symbolize the freedom that they thought they gained, and of course their friend still thinks it represents that but he—"

"falco?" eren interrupted you coming over to sit on the other side of falco, swinging his arm over the backside of the couch, causing you to glare at him.

"eren, i'm trying to explain the show to him."

"baby, he's clearly bored," you looked down at falco and he did seem less enthusiastic than you, but when he looked up at eren, then to you he immediately shook his head.

"no—"

"he probably would rather play ball with me or something. i wanted to earlier but then you made him watch this documentary with you." eren motioned to the tv screen as if it was clearly the most boring thing on earth.

"eren, the documentary isn't boring... he hasn't complained yet." you rolled your eyes, falco's flitting between you and eren as he sat between the two of you. at least you didn’t think it was boring, you couldn’t even count how many times you had seen it. all you knew it that it intrigued you every time, and you could explain it ten times over.

"because you know he doesn't like to complain." eren wrapped his arms around falco's shoulder and pulled him closer, a smirk on his face. "falco, would you rather watch this documentary with ______, or play baseball with me outside?"

falco seemed uncomfortable, and you took notice shoving eren's arm off of him. "eren, if you won't watch it with me then let me watch with falco."

"i've watched it with you like four times baby!"

"no you haven't..." the more you thought about it, falco was pretty quiet the whole first twenty minutes of the documentary you were showing him. as interesting as you thought it was; you weren't sure falco was enjoying it as much as you. "falco... you can go play baseball or catch or whatever with eren. i have some stuff to do anyways." you shrugged, eren pumping his fist and dragging falco to his feet, falco's eyes lighting up a little.

you couldn't help but give a small smile at his eagerness to hang out with eren. "c'mon falco, i used to play with my brother all the time, i'm gonna show you how to pitch really good."

you chuckled to yourself. maybe eren wasn't as bad as an influence as you thought.

of course there were times that eren surprised you, like this one.

"gabi, c'mon let's go eat." your arms were crossed as you leaned against the doorframe watching gabi's hands fiddle with the controller while her eyes darted on the screen in front of her. both her and eren were leaned forwards as he guided her to victory, babbling some game nonsense to her.

"let her play one more round babe, she's has one point on falco." eren held a hand up without looking back at you, murmuring a couple "c'mon," to gabi as she leaned forward even more.

"she has to eat, eren, i gave you guys an extra thirty minutes already."

"please!" gabi said also without looking at you.

you sighed, raising an eyebrow at the pleas of gabi. "i didn't know you guys got along now."

"we've always gotten along." eren replied as if it was the obvious thing in the world, causing your to scoff as he pointed at the screen while gabi spoke into the mic headset on her head.

gabi’s face scrunched up as she stared at the screen more intensely, her eyes suddenly going dark, eyelids dropping. "hey... falco, when did you get that skin?" gabi murmured, bringing her hand up to bring the mic closer to her lips.

"eren bought it for me last time i came over." falco said from the other side of the mic as the sound finally translated over. eren's body went slightly rigid as he side eyed gabi as she slowly turned to him, her eye twitching.

"what?! that's not fair! eren buy me a skin too!" she exclaimed loudly, hands flailing, and you were scared eren’s controller would fly out of her hand.

eren pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing the question was going to come sooner or later. "no, i don't have any money." there they went, bickering again, only proving your earlier point.

"then how did you get falco that skin, and why did you get falco it and not me? i been wanted it before him!" you could only imagine falco rubbing his face from the other side of the screen.

"because—"

"gabi i'll buy you a skin," you said, shifting on your feet as you watched gabi's character die on screen as she argued back and forth with eren. she smiled at your comment then glared at eren as she began to turn around to face the screen fully, jaw dropping at the 'defeat' sign now on display in front of her. "now come, eat—"

"one more round!" both eren and gabi said at the same time, your eyes widening in slight shock.

"okay, okay... one more round."

and lastly, there were times you were sure you wanted to have kids with eren.

"eren are y'all okay?" you spoke through the phone as you drove down the street, on your way back to the apartment you and eren shared. "i got all of us some food too, so we don't have to eat leftovers today. also, get their bags, colt is coming to pick both of them up today, he says thanks for letting him leave them with us this morning."

eren groaned from the other side as he pushed gabi off of him and you heard some yelling before he shuffled around and spoke again. "yeah, yeah, i'll see you soon, i love you." his voice sounded muffled through the phone.

eren was a bit hasty to end the call, you only able to get out an "i love," before the dial tone beeped, and you furrowed your eyebrows, placing your phone in the cupholder and continuing on the road home.

it had been maybe fifteen minutes before you arrived, unbuckling your seat belt and turning off the car. you didn't forget to grab the takeout sitting on the passengers seat as well as your bag before walking up the steps to your apartment. you unlocked the door and stepped inside, locking it back. "eren, baby, i'm home." you said loud enough for him to hear, but no response was returned as you shrugged your shoes off. "don't tell me he took them outside... i just said colt was coming soon." you mumbled to yourself as you made your way to the living room.

the sight caught you off guard, eren sprawled on the floor knocked out from what you assume was sleep, gabi laying down on the couch, falco at her legs sleeping as well, using them as a headrest. both of their bags were laid beside the couch and you let out a laugh. how quick did they fall asleep? it hadn't been long since you were on the phone with eren.

you set down the takeout bags on the kitchen and sauntered over to eren on the floor, his hair framing his face and his brows furrowed together as if he was in deep thought in his sleep. it didn't take much to wake him up, only a couple "baby," and some shakes of his shoulder before he jolted awake.

"huh?" he rubbed his eyes and sat up, head whipping back to the two kids on the couch. "shit, i'm sorry baby..." he immediately apologized, letting out another groan.

you couldn't help but smile and bring eren in for a short kiss on the lips. "you're fine baby, you got their bags and everything, you can go to the room and sleep if they tired you out."

eren pulled you in for a hug as he stood up, you standing with him, and then kissing your forehead. "alright... i love you."

"i love you too."

yeah, you might be sure kids with eren won't be too bad.

#eren x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren fluff #eren jaeger fluff #eren yeager fluff #falco grice #gabi braun

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sweetestlamb · 3 years

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Let's Play A Love Game

Author's note: this one is rated 😈 so yeah. There was originally more angst in my mind but once I got to that part I was over it lol I'm the worst at angst I much rather make it naughty. It's more rushed than I wanted but I don't really have time to write 10k fics right now. But hopefully soon.

Summary: it's just pretend, right?

She hadn't meant to push the event in the corner of her mind until she forgot about it completely, so much so that when the e-vite showed up in her inbox she stared at it in wide eyed shock not even noticing Mi-Seon creeping up behind her.

"It's already time for that? I usually know it's coming because you start buying expensive dresses you can't afford and crying at your credit card bill. Maybe country life has really changed you hm?"

False. Inaccurate. Utterly wrong to the every core.

She lets out a shrill scream letting her head fall painfully on her desktop.

"I'm an idiot! Just kill me now, I deserve it." She has nothing to wear, okay the mountain of boxes in her living room, bedroom and some hidden in the linen closet beg to defer but none of that is worthy of this event. The annual dentist convention in Seoul, it's a week long getaway. It's meant to be an opportunity to build connections and attend professional learning classes, but that has long been abandoned. Now it is a fashion show and chance to show off your success and this year more than ever she has to impress everyone. They all look down on her and her cute little practice. Those judgemental snarky bitches.

"Do we have anymore patients?" She absently asks her best friend, only friend already getting up and walking away.

"No that was the last one. Do you want to call it a day?" She doesn't give a verbal reply lost in her phone and the disease that is online shopping, in the span of three minutes she has already added seven dresses to her cart.

"Chief Hong is going to have a long day."

It's just as Mi-seon says the next day the nosy know it all shows up glaring at her over the handful of packages in his arms.

"Don't tell me you're doing this again. What more could you possibly have to order? How much things does one woman need?" His voice is an air warmer than the last time they were in this very same position, but she tries not to think too hard about it. Their relationship is too confusing these days, as temperamental as the sea.

"Are delivery men allowed to complain this much when they're doing a job they are getting paid for?" She snarks back, snatching her packages from his arms with a huff. Ignoring the grin on his face as she disappears into her house.

"That better be all you order. I'm not coming back."

He comes back. At least six more trips, more boxes each time on the last day he doesn't simply leave after making his delivery.

"I'm coming in for tea because of you I've been working too hard." She squeaks indignantly as he pushes past her, their shoulders brushing in the tight space of the doorway.

She should wait until she doesn't have an audience but she's too impatient so while he's making the tea in her kitchen (so rude and intrusive), she starts to open a few boxes pulling out the contents. Dresses, blouses, shirts, hair accessories, lipsticks in all shades and hues, and of course shoes; heels, flats and everything in between.

"Your house looks like a department store." She jumps at his voice glancing up at him, almost laughing at the hedgehog mug that he's drinking out of that Mi-seon gave her as a joke. Leave it to him to pick the most ridiculous mug.

"Hurry up and go so I can try everything on." She starts to take the objects out and organize them, putting together possible outfits lazily.

"Why not have a fashion show?" He slurps loudly at the tea, sighing and smiling down at the warm beverage. Acting like he's never had tea before, such a plebian.

"A fashion show?"

"Yeah, model all that", he motions to the new boxes littering her bedroom floor, "and I'll let you know what looks good."

She scoffs, loudly looking at his lackluster outfit; a simple white tee tucked into dark cargo pants with suspenders.

"What do you know about fashion?" She replies meanly, despite the little voice in her mind that reminds her that while his outfits are more practical than fashionable there is something distracting about the way his shoulders fill out his shirts and the way his long legs sit in his pants.

He shrugs looking down at himself, "I'm the town handy man I have no need to look good. But I'm still a man I can tell you what I think looks good on a woman."

Oh. It's a nonchalant statement said with no real heat but the implications make her skin warm up, she's never once thought that he saw her as a woman; nor considered looking at him like a man. (Lies.)

"I--why woul--why?" She stutters through an answer, tongue heavy in her mouth. He looks back nonplussed, sitting down pointedly on her couch.

"Never took you for the shy kind. You growing bashful now Ms. Dentist?" His eyes twinkle with mischief and she knows that she's being played but she wants nothing more than to wipe that smug look off his face. Slamming her room door, she pulls off her casual house clothes and grabs the first thing that catches her attention- a buttery yellow dress that grazes her knee, pairing them with white heels and a high messy bun. A swipe of lip tint completes the look and she confidently opens her room door.

Du-sik is staring aimlessly at his phone and doesn't notice her reappearance at first, so she coughs loudly folding her arms and when his eyes land on her, a chill runs down her spine at the look that lands on her body. It's been a long time since a man looked at her in this way, his eyes are undressing her even though he was the one who implored her to dress up in the first place. She hates it. At least she should hate it. But she can't ignore the satisfaction that washes over her at his dumbfounded look, that smug look obliterated by her very first look.

"Well?" She pushes harder, twirling to give him the full look. His gasp is loud behind her, she knows exactly why. The deep revealing plunge that travels all the way to the small of her back. There's no way she would wear this to the convention much too suggestive but that's her business.

"Wher-" his voice cracks and this time she can't contain her smile, dimples flashing now at her clear affect on him, clearing his throat he tries again, "Where exactly are you going again?"

She hums turning back around, gleeful at the vibrant blush on his cheeks. So he is just a man after all.

"A dentist convention." She answers cheekily and he guffaws loudly, eyes narrowing at her like he knows exactly what she's trying to do. They stare at each other for a long moment and she ultimately breaks the stand still, realizing what's happening. It feels a lot like flirting.

Collecting herself, she barrels back into the room.

"What the hell are you doing?" She whispers to her reflection, face too flushed for her liking.

A hard knock at the door pulls her from her self chastisement, "You didn't even wait for my rating."

She sighs loudly covering her face in embarrassment at her own action. She doesn't even have alcohol to blame this time.

"I don't care. This was stupid, let's stop."

Of course he ignores her.

"I liked it. But it's too...sexy for convention. You should wear that for someone special. I doubt anyone with a beating heart would be able to resist you."

What the fuck.

This isn't who they are, when did they become comfortable enough for conversations like this? They despised each other, right? Confused and annoyingly flattered, she peels the dress off her body trying her hardest not to think about the fact that only a door separates him and her naked body.

"I would love to see the others. But I have to go, but if you want my opinion. Red is definitely your color."

"What?" She replies, but she can hear the too loud click of the front opening and then closing and just as capriciously as he arrived, he leaves.

Burying something that feels a lot like disappointment she flops onto her bed, head fuzzy like its been wrapped in cotton.

"What is going on?"

They don't see much of each other the next day and it's unusual given how much they see each other on a regular basis but she refuses to think about it or even consider that he's avoiding her. He's just busy and she doesn't care anyway, they have nothing to do with each other.

The convention is in two days now, she has her overnight bag packed with all her new purchases and the messages have been pouring in their group chat. She's mostly chosen to ignore them but on a whim she decides to check what they're so excited about, only to feel her stomach drop.

Why isn't Hye Jin answering?

Maybe she's busy with her mystery man 😉

Oh! She has to bring him, we need to interrogate him!

Yoon Hye Jin don't pretend you don't see these messages!!

That she had forgotten about.

"Why did you tell them that he's interested in you? Has living here altered your brain, you idiot." She berates herself.

"Who's interested in you? Why are you an idiot?" Mi-seon looks curious from the doorway, without waiting for an invitation she hops onto the bed with two cans of beer. She grabs one, drinking it in a flash.

"Oh it's that kind of night." Mi-seon says excitedly running to grab more beers.

"So let me get this straight, you told them that Chief Hong is interested in you and that he's been chasing you but you're not interested?"

She nods meekly, wishing the floor would swallow her up.

"Why did you lie?"

That's the brunt of the issue, she's a liar. She should have sent her initial message and told them that there was nothing between them but how could she when they were all calling him handsome and acting like she finally did something right? She'd spent that entire dinner feeling like her teenage self on the outside looking in, wanting nothing more than to be someone worthy of being included.

"I know I should have told the truth."

"Yes, you should have told them that you're interested in him too."

Huh.

Time stops as she processes the words that her best friend just uttered. There is static in her head as she tries to make sense of it.

"What are you talking about?"

Mi-seon looks at her unimpressed.

"You can both keep lying to yourself but the rest of us aren't as stupid. You're both interested in each other. It's mutual."

She wants to ardently deny the accusation but the words are caught in her throat and all she can manage are refusing sounds.

"You've been wearing red all week." Mi-seon says accusingly and she jumps up in huff, "So what? I'm allowed to wear colors!"

"You hate wearing red. You said it makes your skin look too pale. You hardly ever wear it. So color me surprised when I learned that red is the favorite color of a certain part timer."

That damn town chat. There has to be a way to get Mi-seon out of it. Maybe it was a mistake letting her live here. She was learning too much.

"Don't even bother to deny it. I won't believe anything you say. But I think you should ask him to go with you, you'll get some time alone to figure this out."

There's nothing to figure out. They are..... acquaintances who can admit that the other is vaguely attractive at times. His face isn't all that bad and she's pretty, so it's natural that there is tension at times, like he said they were still humans.

So she doesn't tell him about her fib, pretending everything is fine until it's the day of the convention and her anxiety has all but smothered her and her hands have a slight tremble in them as she starts to drive.

"It's going to be fine. Everything will be okay." She doesn't believe a word she's saying to herself, her heart is thumping in her heaving chest. She doesn't want to go alone. Convincing Mi-seon to leave was a failed endeavour, her and that police officer becoming inseparable. She knew what that smile meant when her best friend had realized that she would have the house to herself. She could barely get a word in as Mi-seon started frantically shaving her legs then pushed her out of the bathroom to "shave her wild cat".

With a sigh she starts driving, the car too quiet despite what she'd told Du-Sik and the Gongjin grannies. Uncharacteristically she turns on the radio, kpop blaring from the speakers. She recognizes the tune, never before has something as mundane as butter seemed so interesting but the kitchen essential was given new life by the song. She bops her head to the catchy beat, trying to ignore the fact that she's driving to the lion's den.

Some time later, she pulls into the hotel a valet already coming over to get her car. Grabbing her overnight bag, she exits the car handing her keys to the waiting hands of the valet.

Everyone is here and none of them had come alone, she was the only one without a plus one. They haven't noticed her yet so she watches as they all laugh at a joke she can't hear, unnecessarily stroking at their husband's chests as if to show off their exorbitantly priced wedding rings. Everything was always a competition here.

She shouldn't have come. Their was nothing about her life that they would be envious of. She was going to make a fool of herself. Impulsively she starts stepping back but it's too late, Hong In-A spots her and points her out and immediately all eyes are on her, they all start walking over to her and she wants nothing more than to run far, far away. Get on a bus and go to the beach and never see any of them ever again. But she's no longer a child, no longer that scared little girl; worked too hard to shed that skin.

Fortifying herself she puts on a fake smile. Ready for war.

"Hye-Jin ah, there you are. We were beginning to think you wouldn't come. You never responded in the group chat." Ye-Ri states with an attitude, looking around her as if searching for someone and eyes brightening when she sees no one. "Did you come alone?" This makes all of them perk up, looking around like chickens with their heads clucking. She swallows the shame the question elicits, "Who would I be with? I told you in already, it's not like that."

They all look at her with pity, it makes her want to slap them all across the face. Who were they to make her feel like shit, she didn't need anyone that didn't make her pathetic.

Finally one of the husbands cracks the awkward tension by introducing himself, she tries her best to ignore the pervasive way his eyes run down her body. Instinctively she crosses her arms, feeling naked under his stare. Nobody else notices her discomfort and after all the introductions, they all walk away as if she's no longer worth their time.

Lump in her throat she walks into the hotel, determined not to show them that they've gotten under her skin.

There's a scheduled lunch and she tries to find a new table but Sung-Mi waves her over and she doesn't see anyone else she recognizes or wants to sit with.

He hadn't been wrong, she has no friends besides Mi-seon.

"You were looking around, were you looking for someone? Are we not good enough to sit with?" The question is asked with a bite and sneer as if the idea is laughable that she would ever be better than any of them.

She swallows her pride, "No nothing like that. I was merely looking around."

Sung-Mi looks satisfied as if putting her in her place has righted her world.

They begin a conversation that completely excludes her, regaling drama that she knows nothing about and doing nothing to bring her up to date or invite her to join. It's the polar opposite of her experience in the countryside and with shocking clarity she realizes that she wishes she were there, it's only been a few hours but she misses it. Nobody looks down on her there, no usually she's the only doing that she notes with shame.

"I'll find the restroom." She says to no one because none of them are paying her any mind except the husband with the wandering eyes and she would much rather not have that attention.

Thankfully the bathroom is empty and she has to stop herself from splashing water on her face, her make-up was done perfectly it would be a waste to ruin it. Pushing her hair behind her ears she takes a deep breath and then another until her head is clearer, the noise lessening.

"It's only a day and a night. You've suffered far worst."

With that lacking pep talk she exits the bathroom, almost colliding into a wall. Wait, no it's just a person- a chest to be specific. She looks up ready to apologize when a familiar face stops her in her tracks.

"What are you doing here?" She stares flabbergasted at him, more dressed up than she's ever seen him. In a white suit with a white vest, the tee-shirt peeking under the only thing that feels like him to her. And his white sneakers. She can't hide her surprise at his sudden appearance and without thinking she starts to pull him to the side, to avoid being seen but she's not fast enough and soon they are swarmed by her colleagues, before she even has a chance to talk to him.

"Aren't you the man from the picture?" Yoo-Jin asks blushing way too much for a married woman if her husband's cold stare means anything.

"The picture?" Du-sik replies, clearly confused.

"You're the guy that's chasing after her. She told us that you liked her and you were courting her." Sung-Mi answers for her, she wants to vanish. It would be better if she had never existed. Even non-existence would be better than this embarrassing moment. "I got a picture of you two last time, when you followed her."

His eyes ping-pong between the group and her and she realizes this is his chance to ruin her. After everything she's done, all her rude comments and snobby remarks about the town and people he cares for so much, this is his chance for revenge. He can laugh and deny any feelings for her, tell them all that she's a liar and he's never been interested in her, not even once. This is what is going to happen. She prepares herself for the fall out, surely after this she won't be able to show her face in Seoul again.

He starts to laugh and her stomach tightens, her palms are so sweaty.

Here it goes.

"Oh I guess she wanted to keep me a secret."

Wait. What. That doesn't sound like denial.

"We're together now. I finally bulldozed those walls and made her mine. Nice to meet you all I'm Hong Du-sik, Hye-Jin ah's boyfriend."

Her eyes widen as he bows and starts to shake hands with the husbands, the one that stared at her looking disappointed. Their handshake goes on for a second too long, eventually with the latter pulling away with a pained look. She's too confused to consider what that means.

"And you were so cold earlier saying you had no one. Did you want to make a fool of us?"

He answers for her, "It's nothing like that, my honey is still getting used to us. I'm sorry I'm so late I had something to take care of."

Her head is spinning too fast to keep up with everything happening and she's grateful when he excuses them and guides her outside with a large hand on her hip.

Fresh air is much appreciated and she takes in huge heaps of it as soon as they're free.

Then reality crashes down on her.

He knows about her lying.

He had called her bluff.

But he didn't out her.

"Why didn't you tell them the truth?" She finally manages to say, head still reeling.

But instead of answering he's staring at her legs, then slowly his eyes swivel upward cross her thighs curving around her hips, past her breasts (a bit too slow there) before moving to her collar and settling on her face.

"You look great."

She feels the heat rushing to her face. What was he doing to her?

It hadn't been in purpose but she finds herself in red again, an a line dress with criss crossing straps over her shoulder and a middle slit. It was conservative without being too formal or professional. She'd felt comfortable in it but now seeing that look on his face, comfort is the last thing she feels.

He was distracting her and she couldn't afford that with those harpies inside waiting for her downfall. They needed to get back on track.

"What are you doing here?" She tries again, but he responds with his own question, "Why did you tell them that I was chasing you?"

"It was a mistake. They thought we were together and I just....said that for no reason." It's half the truth.

"They don't seem like your friends. You looked like you needed someone on your side, so I just found myself saying we were together for no reason."

She looks at him blankly, heart pounding now. In her moment of weakness instead of kicking her, he'd lended a helping hand. What kind of person did it make her for expecting the former?

"So what now?" She asks still in disbelief that he's here and that he'd told people that there were dating, she would be angry and offended later that they had readily believed it. Perhaps it didn't seem too farfetched now with him looking like that right now.

"Well, don't look but they're watching us through the glass."

This time she finds herself turning to look and he's the one that has to stop her, he does so by suddenly grabbing her hand and tugging her into his body. She squeaks at the collision. Leaning down so his lips are level with her ear, he speaks, "We can give them a show. I'm happy to be your pretend boyfriend."

Why?

She yearns to ask him why he's willing to go this far for her? Why was he even here when she had never told him where the convention was taking place? But his words were hot on her ear and she's tired of being their source of entertainment so she nods looking up at him, "Just this once. I'm going to lean on you. Let me borrow your eraser and copy your homework."

He stares before a blinding smile graces his handsome face.

"Let's go then." His hand is heavy on her waist as he walks back towards the hotel, taking his role very seriously it seems.

He fits in perfectly. Able to talk about a plethora of topics to anyone he's introduced to and even she's impressed by him. Be it travel, philosophy or poetry he seems well versed in everything things that even she is ignorant to and it makes her regret the way she looked down on him before, he was anything but a country bumpkin.

She leaves him to his conversation to get a drink, a whiskey on the rocks. Needing something hard tonight.

Not that. Down brain.

"Yoon Hye Jin? I would recognize that face anywhere."

Twisting to face the voice, she sees a familiar face- old classmate. Rung Do-Bae, they weren't anything more than classmates despite his many, many attempts.

His eyes sweep over her hungrily. She swallows her drink, painting on a shallow smile.

"Sunbae, how nice to see you here."

Invading her space he grabs her hand, "There is no need for such formalities. You can just call me by my name, Hye Jin ah."

As if she ever would.

Gently she tries to extract her hand but he won't let go and she doesn't want to make a scene.

Suddenly she's warmed by a body pressing into her, she knows who it is without even looking, her body relaxes immediately.

"Sorry I got lost in conversation honey. Who might this be? Another friend of yours?" He thrusts his right hand out and Do-Bae has no choice but to release her hand to return his handshake. Scarily enough she's starting to become used to his nickname, barely reacting to him using it again.

"Yes, this is my sunbae from school. Sunbae this is Hong Du Sik my....."

She knows that this is all an act, they were doing this to help her but she can't bring her tongue to form around the word, boyfriend.

"Her boyfriend." He finishes for her, pulling her tighter to his body.

But Do-Bae looks suspicious now.

"Boyfriend? I thought you were still single. You never changed your status on SNS. I've checked."

"Why are you so curious about that?" Du-sik challenges in return, doing a great job of sounding like a jealous boyfriend. She's almost even convinced.

"Hye Jin ah and I have always had a very special relationship. Beyond that of a hoobae and sunbae. Isn't that right?" He directs the last bit to her and she feels Du-sik stiffen next to her, seemingly believing these lies. So she clears that up.

"I have no idea what you're referring to honestly. We have never had anything that would constitute as a "special" relationship. I would appreciate if you didn't spread such lies, especially to my boyfriend. Enjoy the rest of your night."

She tugs Du-sik away, not waiting for a reply from the other man. The conversation was over anyway.

When they get far enough he speaks, "You have a lot of admirers."

She raises an eyebrow at the non-sequitur.

"Are you surprised?"

He brushes a hand across her cheek, making her freeze.

"No. It makes sense."

She blinks slowly before laughing, it sounds fake even to her ears.

"You should have been an actor. Your acting skills are incredible." He doesn't laugh, doesn't move before they're pulled into another conversation and she tries not to think about how tightly his body is pressed against her own.

"How is he in bed? He hasn't left you alone all day, I bet it's passionate." As soon as lunch had ended they had invited her to a spa, she'd considered saying no but she knew they would talk about her even if she wasn't there so it was best to at least know what they were saying.

Du-sik looked sad to see her go, but she told herself that she wasn't good at reading his faces. They hardly knew each other.

"I can't remember the last time I had a passionate night of sex. Kids and a full time job, leave no time for that. I'm pretty sure he's cheating on me and I'm too tired to even care." Sung-Mi confesses and she's shocked when the others nod in agreement instead of threatening to castrate him, as she'd done when Mi-seon told her about her ex boyfriend cheating.

"I have no complaints. He's... attentive. He's always touching me and pushing his way into my space. He's gentle but passionate, and I like...that he's so much bigger than me." She knows she should stop, this is definitely taking the lies too far. But that night bleeds into her thoughts, making everything she's saying feel true. He'd been so gentle with her, those huge hands cupping her face. She wondered how they would feel on other parts of her body.

"Damn. Look at you getting horny just from remembering. I'm so jealous."

Jealous. There were envious of her, it was all she'd been hoping for but the happiness she expected to erupt never comes. Instead she feels cheap, like she'd used Du-sik for her own benefit. She had tainted that night. This wasn't what she wanted.

As the day had gone on she found herself looking at him too much, he'd come all the way just for her and regardless of her brain trying to minimize that, it was huge. He hated snobby people like them who based a person's worth in their monetary success and yet he put on a smile and chatted with everyone, letting them mock his way of life and call people like him useless dreamers. All while she did nothing to defend him and drank wine, happy that they were being accepted.

He was the perfect gentleman all day and he was getting nothing in return for this. It was all just to help her.

Would a friend truly go this far to help? Was she being naive or was it like Mi-seon said, was she lying to herself?

"I'm such an idiot."

Without another word, she flees the sauna rushing to the locker room and changing back into her clothes. Nobody follows her because they aren't her friends. Why had she wasted so much time trying to impress these people who aren't even truly happy in their own lives?

The drive back is long, and she doesn't know what she's going to say but she knows that she's tired of being scared.

Leaving the key in the car she rushes past the valet, into the hotel elevator pressing their floor and waiting impatiently.

It takes three tries to get into their hotel room but once the door opens, he's right there. Sitting in the seat by the window reading a book.

"You're back early. I thought you would be gone until three?" He looks up, dog earring his book and giving her his full attention. Her heart skips a beat.

"Why did you agree to do this for me? Why go through all this trouble for me?"

It's the same question he's been asking himself since he first met her. Why was he was interested in her and why did he keep wanting to save her?

It was the desire that led to him being here.

He had accidentally overhead Mi-seon talking to Eun Chol about being worried about her, the convention was overnight and everyone would be bringing someone and she'd be all alone. The thought of her alone and isolated, made him race to her without a plan. Only stopping at a store to buy his outfit so he would fit in with her crowd, he'd spent more in that shop then he usually did in a week. But it was worth it for her.

It was a miracle that she hadn't questioned his presence more, he knew it was shameless and deceiving but none of this felt like pretending to him. His jealousy had been real, he'd had to strangle the urge to kick the pervert husband with the wandering eyes and then the insistent sunbae who wouldn't take a hint. She was a vision in the red dress and it wasn't a surprise that men found her enchanting, he just didn't like them looking at her. But she wasn't his, never would be because he couldn't confess.

They weren't right for each other.

"Do you like me?"

That question again. Last time he had laughed it off, called it absurd. But it wasn't. Not liking her would have been absurd.

"I don't know why you're asking me that."

"Because I'm tired of us lying to ourselves. Don't laugh and don't you dare say it's absurd again."

He can't respond, he's stuck on the word "us". It wasn't just him, they were an us?

Hearing that gives him courage he had long thought had been most forever.

"I wasn't pretending today. Nothing was fake to me, I meant it all." It's terrifying, unchartered land for them and he waits to see which one of them will chicken out first. It's sure to happen.

"I'm going to kiss you." She says instead of running like he expected and secretly wished for.

And then she's crossing the room and leaning down to grab his face, she watches him giving him a chance to pull away but he does the opposite, this time he meeting her half way. As soon as their lips meet the kiss is already too much, she's sliding into his lap and he wraps his arms around her tugging her closer until their chests are squished together.

He hasn't kissed anyone like this in a long time.

Hasn't been this close to losing control in a longer time.

"You're dangerous." He whispers into her mouth and she giggles at the statement, wiggling in his arms and rolling into him forcing a punched out groan from his lips.

Carefully he lifts her shirt watching her face closely for any signs that she wants to stop but finding nothing but her palpable lust.

Her skin is unbelievably smooth and soft and he can't stop himself from stroking her, rubbing at her back his hands resting right above her butt.

"How long have you felt this way?" She asks softly seductively nipping at his neck and running a hand over his shirt to caress his stomach, he physically aches for her.

"I wanted you the moment I saw you. But I didn't feel this until you convinced grandma to get her implants. That was when it became more for me."

She looks surprised and he is too, that they're speaking so candidly about feelings they've always denied.

"What about you?"

She stops licking at his neck to look him in the eyes. He's nervous to hear her reply.

"I.... don't know."

He tries to hide his disappointment. Maybe she was starting to retreat back into her shell. Maybe he shouldn't have been so honest.

He's about to untangle them when she continues, "It wasn't at first sight but one day I found myself looking for you. Seeing you become the best part of my day, I started to count on you to be there for me. To expect it. Just like this, I've been scared to lean on anyone until I met you."

Now that's a confession.

Impulsively he stands with her still on his lap, forcing her to to latch onto him so she doesn't tumble to the floor. Not that this would ever happen because he would never let her fall.

"I could have fell!" She cries, clinging to his shoulders and wrapping her legs around his waist. Her half naked bra clad body so close to him is causing another biological crisis in his pants.

Walking to the large bed in the middle of the room he falls backwards, enjoying the view of her on top of him a little too much.

It's all probably too soon and they should probably slow down, but his body is strumming and he wants nothing more than to break her apart.

"I'm all sweaty. I should take a shower."

Instantly an image of her wet and naked under the downpour of a shower flashes in his mind and he has to twist away from her.

"Pervert." She accuses but he can hear how satisfied she is with his reaction. Damn tease.

"Do you want to join me?" She teases some more, having fun now that she knows her power over him.

He looks at her helplessly.

"Are you having fun? Remember what I told you before? I'm still a guy. You're sitting here in your bra taunting me, do you think I'm that much of a good guy? Do you think I don't want to throw you down, rip your clothes off and eat you alive? I'm so hard right now just seeing you naked would be enough to push me over the edge. So don't make propositions you can't follow through on."

She looks dizzy from his words, eyes hooded and glossy. He watches her gulp and then stagger off to the bathroom, without a word to him. It's probably for the best, everything is too charged right now.

A shower for her and many glasses of water for him later, she's back and it's almost time for dinner.

"I think they said dinner starts at 6. Should we head down?"

She glances at him, while opening her bag and pulling out skin creams and some fuzzy socks.

"Would you be opposed to ordering room service and staying here?"

It's the best offer he's heard all day, only second to her asking if he wanted to join her in the shower.

"What about your colleagues?" He asks to make certain that she's really okay with this.

"What about them?" She replies with a shrug and he grins picking up the room service menu.

They order too much food and not enough alcohol but neither of them want to forget this night. She tells him stories about her time in dental school and he's happy to get to know her better, chuckling at the funny stories and commiserating at the sad ones.

Before he knows it night has fallen.

And he realizes that they'll be sharing a bed. Unless she wants him to sleep on the couch.

She's wearing a big shirt and loose shorts and he still can't believe he gets to see her like this.

"Are you coming to bed?" She's already getting under the sheet and that answers his question, this is really happening. He starts to follow her lead, getting under the sheets but keeping a respectable distance between them.

"I'm cold." She announces suddenly and he starts to look for a thermostat in the room or an extra blanket, before realizing that she's looking at him over her shoulder, he stares back confused before she lifts an eyebrow and oh, he gets it. Carefully moving closer he feels her warmth surround him as they meet, forth to back.

"Took you long enough." She grumbles, pulling his arm over here body and settling back into him moving until she's comfortable.

She's so close and warm and her smell is all around him and he feels his restraint dissolving and when she presses back into him, her hip rubbing against his crotch he bites down on his bottom lip.

It's too much for him to resist and without warning or preamble, he's turning her to face him and swallowing her moan of surprise eagerly. He grabs her head firmly holding her in place and slips his tongue into her open mouth, her unique taste exploding on his taste buds. He's hungry for more. So he starts to tug down her shorts, heart beat thundering in his groin. She kicks the shorts away, and he groans at the sight of her panties she was trying to kill him, he was certain.

"You're the devil." He chokes out staring at red lace, he'll never be able to see the color again without getting a raging hard on.

"You haven't seen anything yet. Honey." The word drips from her tongue just like the real thing.

Forgetting all reason and logics he lunges at her, devouring her mouth and sticking his hand in her panties. She's so warm and fuck, wet drenching his fingers.

Simultaneously he thrusts his tongue into her mouth and his fingers in her wet folds, groaning as she melts like butter under his touch. There's no resistance, as he plunges two fingers inside her experimentally before picking up his place when she clutches onto him and grinds back on his fingers, begging the whole time.

"More, more, please!"

As if he could ever deny her anything, with one hand he grabs her ass and the other he thrusts into her opening over and over until her voice gets breathy and she starts to stutter, squirming wildly in his arms and he knows exactly what's coming: the beautiful end. So without warning he pulls back the sheet and slithers down her body, throwing her legs around his head and pushing his tongue in to the brim, hungrily drinking at her until she shakes and combusts in his arms. Sweet on his tongue, he swallows it all greedily.

He strokes her as she recovers from her high, climbing back up her body. So much for taking things slow, but he can't even think about regretting it when he sees the blissed out look on her face. He wants to imprint it in his mind. Nobody else will ever get to see this face but him.

"It's your turn." She says sounding loopy like she's drunk and he laughs as she reaches for the tent in his pants but misses his bulge and instead falls into him.

"You're tired. Go to sleep. That was enough for me, seeing you like that fulfilled every fantasy I've had. "

He truly means it. He's a giver. And it's not like he can't tug one out later in the bathroom with her face and moans playing on repeat in his brain.

She starts to argue, but her phone vibrating on the nightstand distracts her. Reaching over she picks it up before chuckling and flopping back into the bed.

"What?" He asks curious, jealous of whoever is making her smile like that.

Ignorant to his inner thoughts, she thrusts her phone into his face. The room is so dark it takes a moment for his eyes to adjust to the bright lighting of the phone, but once he can see he reads the message on her phone and starts to laugh too.

"Dusik is missing! Nobody has seen him all day!! We started a search party."

#hometown cha cha cha #sikhye couple #caution 😈 ahead #hong du shik #yoon hye jin #living rent free

60 notes · View notes

nightmarewritings · 3 years

Note

I can ask for obecenidades with Brahms, with prompt 16, 21 and 27.

You sure can! I've been wanting an excuse to write a Brahms fic, and this one gave me instant inspiration, like, I knew immediately what I wanted to write. As with all of these prompt fics, this is NOT WORKSAFE.

16- “Shut up and take your pants off.”

21- “Did I stutter? Do as you’re told!”

27- “Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn’t tease me.”

You weren't really sure how it happened, one moment you were cooking lunch in the kitchen, the next you were pulled into the walls and tossed on to Brahms bed.

“What the hell? I-I was trying to cook!” You snap at him. You've been in charge of Brahms for a while now, and while his moods weren't anything new, it was still incredibly frustrating to be carted off wherever he wanted whenever he wanted.

“Shut up and take your pants off.” Oh, he was using his adult voice. Brahms only seemed to break that out when he was either in a really bad mood or trying to seem mature. You were pretty sure which situation this was.

You shook your head. Bad mood or not, you had somewhere you needed to be. “Brahms, the stew's going to boil over, I need to get back out there. Can we do this later?”

“Did I stutter? Do as you're told!” Brahms stomped the floor, a sure sign he was ready to throw a tantrum. Brahms was almost thirty, and while you had made improvements in his situation and outlook, he still got petulant at times.

Rolling your eyes, you slipped your underwear off from under your skirt, tossing it on the bed. “Fine, but if it does boil over or burn, you're cleaning it up.”

Brahms had no reply to that, but with how roughly he pinned you to his bed, holding your wrists in one strong hand to the pillow above your head, you had a feeling you just made his mood even worse. Great, just great.

His porcelain mask bumped against your face, his heavy breathing audible behind it. You tried to turn your head, to keep his beard from tickling you, but his other hand shot up, grabbing your jaw and stilling your movements.

He was mumbling something soft under his breath, so quietly that even straining to hear it revealed nothing.

Brahms released you from his grasp, only to immediately start sliding his hands under your clothes. You could feel his erection straining through his trousers, grinding against your leg. Normally he would've had it out and tried shoving it in you somewhere without any buildup or foreplay, so it was very surprising that Brahms seemed to be taking his time. Of course, given that you had a time sensitive issue bubbling away in the kitchen, this was also very likely to be intentional.

“C'mon Brahms, I don't have time for this...” Whining, you tried to shove him off, but his strength always seemed to surprise you. A man who spends all his time indoors sneaking behind the walls had no business being that strong.

Evidently, that was the wrong thing to say, as the second the words were out of your mouth, he gripped your shirt and bra in his hands, and ripped them off of you, tearing them and leaving them useless. There was no point in complaining about how much that bra cost, Brahms didn't care, he'd just tell you to never wear one.

His hands latched on to your breasts as soon as they had been freed. Brahms never seemed to be gentle, and this was no exception. He squeezed and groped at them, enjoying the softness of them in his hands.

“Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn’t tease me.” You muttered, looking away from him. While you did genuinely enjoy that he was at least trying to focus more on your body instead of just solely on his own needs, you really didn't want to waste the hours you spent preparing lunch.

A loud and overly dramatic sigh came from behind his mask. Without any warning, he flipped you over on your stomach, his hand on your belly pushing you upwards until you were on your hands and knees.

Behind you, you could hear him frantically unbutton his trousers and push them down. Brahms gently weaved his fingers through your hair, a rare show of tenderness you weren't used to from him. That immediately ended when he sheathed himself inside you, his grip on your hair tightening and shoving your face into the pillow.

In all the times Brahms had fucked you, he was never gentle, and this time was no exception. The bed frame shook from the intensity at which he took you, pummeling your insides in such a way that you knew you'd be sore in the morning.

While sometimes you mourned your ability to have guests over, whenever you were with Brahms you were very thankful no one else was around. Brahms was loud, his moaning and gasping always reminded you of how he sounded that one time you caught him murdering a burglar, the first time you had truly seen him for the man he was, and not just a doll. His bed frame banged against the walls and creaked with every movement he made.

His hand still entangled in your hair, Brahms pulled your body flush against him, not letting up for a second. His cock was hitting places you didn't even know it was possible to reach, and faster than you ever had before, you came, your voice just as loud as his own. Brahms movements began to slow, and he held you tight as his release followed soon after, filling you up and letting your body drop to the mattress.

You were exhausted, and barely reacted when Brahms curled his body around you, cuddling you like he always enjoyed doing. You could feel his mask softly rubbing against the back of your head.

“I don't want stew for lunch, I want a peanut butter and banana sandwich.” So that's what this was all about.

#brahms heelshire #the boy #not worksafe #fanfics #Brahms is a complete brat and thats whats fun about him #Netflix lookin at me watching the last 20 minutes of The Boy again like #y-you good?#you sure you don't wanna watch somethin else?#no Netflix I dont #let me watch the wall boy in peace #Anonymous #got a Vincent one I'll be writing next #its off to a very good start #Lite Work

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omgbigfluffwriting · 3 years

Text

Harry Potter and The Wrong Potion

Chapter 2:

26 weeks

Hermione was shocked. Lately, Draco had been *almost* courteous to her, dropping ‘Mudblood’ for her given name. She wondered if Spencer had anything to do with that. “You okay, Hermione?” Draco asked.

“Not that I'm complaining, but what happened to ‘Mudblood’?” Hermione asked. Draco flushed.

“Dobby gave me a lecture a few weeks ago about being nicer to the mother of my children. I can't believe I was lectured by a house elf!” Draco groaned. Hermione laughed. She couldn't believe Dobby lectured Draco either. “Do you think Potter put him up to it?”

“I don't think so but I won't put it past Harry or my brother.” Hermione admitted.

---

Spencer stroked his girlfriend’s rounded belly. “I know Draco ‘spiked’ the Wiggenweld potion,” he said. His own was nestled against her back. “He seems to have an issue with Hermione and I.”

“He never had brains to the extent of yours and Mione’s.” Y/N mumbled. Spencer chuckled. “Second year, she managed to brew a polyjuice potion. I only found out because I went looking for her on McGonagall's request. She should have been in Ravenclaw.”

“Maybe,” he replied. “Next time, I'm not doing this again.” It was her turn to chuckle.

“We’ll see. We may not want any more kids beyond these two.” Spencer smirked as he caressed her swollen belly.

“I probably could convince you to have more.” He mumbled. She laughed as he tickled her.

---

“Hermione, I can't get rid of them...” Draco sobbed. “And the Dark Lord...” Hermione knew what Draco left unsaid. Voldemort would not allow Draco to carry her children to term. “You’re the most gifted witch in our year... there's got to be something you can do.” Hermione blinked. Was Draco Malfoy asking for her help?

“Malfoy, are you really asking me for help?” Draco fervently nodded. “What would you do to save our children?”

“Bloody anything, Granger!” he snapped.

“Even marry filthy little ol’ me?” Hermione jokingly asked. Draco knelt.

“Even that.” he confirmed. Hermione gasped. “Father and Mother will be furious anyway but I don't care. I want all four of our children together...”

Hermione absentmindedly rubbed her abdomen, then took out her wand. “Graviditate evanescet.” she said. Draco gasped as his figure returned to normal and Hermione used her wand on her belly, adding, “infans graviditate augere.” Her belly swelled to the natural size of one who was pregnant with quads. She almost lost her balance but Draco caught her.

“Thank you Granger!” he declared as he lifted her up, twirled her around and kissed her on the cheek, setting her down. “Keep them safe.”

“I will... And Malfoy?” he looked down at her. “Keep yourself safe.” he nodded and took off.

Spencer came in, staring at Malfoy who was now back to normal. Then he looked at Hermione and stared. “Did Malfoy have an abortion?” He asked. Hermione glared at her brother.

“No, I'm now pregnant with his quads.” Hermione quietly snapped. She felt irritable with her increased girth. “I transferred the triplets to me, Spencer.”

“You did?" Hermione nodded.

“I think it’s safer if Voldemort thinks he had a miscarriage.” Hermione answered as she placed her hand on her belly.

---

Malfoy returned to Hermione reading. “Hey how are you feeling?” he asked solicitously.

“Sore.” she admitted as he sat down next to her “Do you...” Draco shook his head.

“They’re better off with you than me right now. Besides...” he took her hand. “I think I like you pregnant.” Hermione rolled her eyes. “Hermione, I meant it when I said you were the brightest witch in our year... I'm also aware that I'm starting to sound like Potter and Weasley in some aspects... not that I'm happy or proud of it.” Hermione snorted.

“Ron and Harry haven't called me mudblood.” Hermione offered. “I also haven't felt the need to punch either of their noses.” Draco gave a self-deprecating laugh.

“Good, we can keep things diplomatic and civilized,” he said.

“What's your point, Malfoy?” Hermione asked.

“I didn't want to get mushy but...” Draco paused, thinking. Should he admit he was in love with Hermione? Some part of him had been trying to deny the fact that he’d been in love with her since the day she’d punched him in the nose.

“Hold that thought, one of our children is intent on using my bladder as a trampoline.” Hermione replied with a small smile as she got up.

Draco shot her belly an annoyed look. Here he was trying to confess to their mother that he was in love with her and his children decided to interrupt. Well, this gave him time to think. Would it be best to just blurt it out, like Potter and Weasley would do or to just...show her?

Before he had decided on how he was to do it, Lucius Malfoy appeared. “I heard that Granger is having my grandchildren?!” Draco's father barked.

“Don’t worry Father, that mudblood and her bastard whelps will be finished off within a day or two. I know how to honor the Malfoy name.” Draco replied, acting the dutiful son but secretly shaking with fear and anger inside. However, Hermione - his dear, darling Hermione - had heard everything.

“Good. Those brats will sully our name and standing with the Dark Lord. May I ask how she got that way?” Draco closed his eyes briefly as he hoped Hermione could forgive him. “You didn't have sex with her, did you?” his father asked as he slapped him

Draco scoffed. His eyes were pure rage while he stared at his blurred reflection on the floor. He closed his eyes again while swallowing all that wrath inside his chest. “Father... Do you really believe that I’m truly capable of feeling any desire for that filthy whore? Not even if I wished to do that only for the fun to ruin her, I'd never risk the exact chance of what is happening, to mingle our pure family blood with that mudblood and generate such abomination.”

Hermione felt her heart sinking inside her chest as if part of her soul was being ripped out. She felt the heavy air surrounding her while she was blinded by tears that couldn't stop welling from her eyes. There was not one inch of movement inside her from the babies which made her worry about their overhearing Draco's words.

“Thank Slytherin I was wrong, then.” Lucius shot back. He turned to leave, adding, “Take care of it, or I will and you will be next after them.” As soon as the portrait slammed shut, Draco heard footsteps running away.

"Shit... Hermione, wait!" He shouted as soon as he realized she overheard everything.

“That’s it, I'm leaving Hogwarts tonight, taking them far away from your evil influence. I don't want them to know you, and I'll do all in my power to stop them from ever meeting you. ” Draco paled. "And!" she said in a way to not only punch him in the stomach but also stab him in the chest. "Guess what? Your and your father's worst nightmare is about to happen. I indeed will stain your cursed family's name with these children and I'll raise them as I was raised. Among muggles, like me and my family!" She emphasized with tears of rage sprinkling from her eyes, her face red as her blood was boiling inside her veins for how she felt betrayed and stupid about believing him, and worst, falling in love with him, although she won't admit that even to herself. "We will vanish, disappear and you will never ever find us."

Draco paled. He had fucked up royally. “Can’t you see that I did that for you and our children? You don’t know me at all, you still think I'm an awful person. I've changed Hermione. I want you and our children!” He tried to argue desperately, losing all his words with the growing panic of losing the love of his life and the fruits of it.

"Do you really believe you can fool me again, at all?! How dare you?! It's insulting! Or haven't you learned what your bloody mouth had said earlier today that I'm the most smart and intelligent of our year, but to be sincere everyone knows it! How stupid are you to believe I'm the one who can be fooled? You're fooling yourself. If I ever seemed to believe you could change, it is because I was trying for the sake of the children, to find something good in you for them. It was an attempt to give you a chance. But I always knew the truth. Well that and of course, the hormones. Probably it was the good from me in my children that made them want me to find something worthy in you to justify the part of you in them."

“Her...” he tried.

"Sure, act as the coward you always were. Going out in the right way. You don't even have the balls to face your deeds! Easy to in the end, let your father take the blame for your death, because you can't do it yourself! That's so typical of you, right? How could I expect anything different?!" By that time she was yelling out of her lungs.

The truth is, she was desperate, for many obvious reasons but the worst, she was furious because somehow, deep down, she indeed would care if he died and how dared he blackmail her like that?

“Hermi...” He tried again.

"Go ahead and do it! That will be just the cherry on the top of this cake! Then I can tell your children that you never really cared at all about them! Not even to fucking act as the least regular villain and chase them down till the end of the world, just to maybe turn them to your stupid dark side. You can't even do that?" She stopped.

She was trying, she really was, after all the hits, he should react. Shouldn't he? But she was starting to feel totally hopeless while her voice was toning down. Suddenly she feels dizzy and her hand tries to find a tree in time so she can hold herself on it. She was about to faint. Draco stopped, stomped up to and kissed her.

Hermione was already feeling breathless and with the kiss she felt like all the air was drained from her. She kissed back for a few seconds before she realized what was going on. She then opened her eyes wide and pushed him away a bit in a try to understand what was happening and catch some oxygen. "What are you doing?" She speaks almost voiceless.

“I was trying to tell you earlier that I love you when our children and my father so rudely interrupted me. What I told him was not the truth. The truth is that I am so madly, no, deeply in love with you, Hermione Granger.”

She felt her eyes burning. She was sure they were red. She opened her mouth a bit, stuttered, closed it. She didn't know what to say while staring at him. First because her mind was completely empty, not only for the dizziness she felt like fainting or all the recent overwhelming occurrences since the troublesome potion was altered and by who, but now it was all centered on the words he, Draco Malfoy - and how many times she repeated his name now in her head to make it at least tangible to her understanding - himself just pronounced, announced and confessed. “You…” She totally couldn't believe it, and even if she did, she shouldn't, right? But... she saw no lies in his eyes. “You cannot... Why?”

She started to lean back to the tree, trying to find a rational, logical explanation to justify the reason why he was saying that. But of course couldn't it be just the most simple answer, that in fact, he indeed just meant exactly what he said. “It's because of the children.” She suddenly realizes while saying it as a whisper and her eyes looked down on the grass. She smirks a bit. “Right.”

“No.” Draco shook his head. “I’ve been in love with you since the day you punched me in the face.” Hermione blinked and nearly screamed when she saw Lucius Malfoy standing behind Draco.

“You lied to me.” He lifted his wand but Hermione was faster.

“Expelliarmus!” she called out. Draco caught his father's wand.

“That’s enough!” A new voice called out. It was Minerva McGonagall with Severus Snape behind her. “Malfoy, Granger, inside your common room now.” They both hurried back into the common room.

“I love you Hermione.” Draco repeated.

“I love you too Draco.” Hermione said in return. “My room or yours?”

“Why?” Draco asked.

“Call me a prude if you like, but there is no way I'm having four kids with a man I've never slept with.”

“Mine.” Draco decided.

---

Draco couldn't believe it. In exchange for half of his father's fortune, Draco was never to contact his parents again. ‘Having Hermione and our children will be worth my parents' silence...’ he thought fiercely as he held Hermione in his arms, feeling his children kick. He was lucky Hermione forgave him. Perhaps now he could enjoy being pregnant without Voldemort finding out...

“Don't even think about recreating that potion disaster.” Hermione said with a smirk.

“I was hoping if I recreated it, it would be drinkable.” Draco said simply.

“Why?” Hermione asked. Draco shrugged.

There was plenty of time to tell Hermione about it. What he wanted to make was a cross between the fertility and polyjuice potions to create an insta - preggo potion.

But first, he needed to apologize to the one person besides Hermione that could help him accomplish his goal plus give him his blessing to marry Hermione.

#fanfiction #criminal minds #harry potter #dr. spencer reid x reader #draco/hermione #crossover

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faofinn · 3 years

Text

BTHB - Anger Born of Worry

When Fao left on tour, he seemed to take most of Harrison’s sense and stability with him. The younger wolf began causing issues almost immediately, quickly squaring up to Sheila and Fred. Even Steve couldn’t control him, or his wolf.

After a particularly vicious moon, leaving both Harrison and Fred bruised and sore, things took a turn for the worse. He’d started on Finn, rounding on him over breakfast. They’d scrapped over nothing, Finn ending up landing on the floor rather roughly. He’d yelped immediately, scrambling away as he tried to protect himself. Still, Harrison didn’t stop.

The Daniels were furious, struggling to believe Harrison would do that to Finn, the kid he’d always adored. He was kicked out, the rest of the pack watching him as he collected his belongings. It was clear he wasn’t welcome.

Theo took him in, let him crash on his sofa while Steve patched Finn up - while he’d done what he could at the clinic, but it was clear he needed their hospital. Harrison, being bigger and more prepared, hadn’t fared too badly; a few cuts and scrapes that would heal soon enough.

While Theo’s offer was kind, Harrison couldn’t stay. He wasn’t sure if it was couldn’t or wouldn’t, but either way, he had to go. He left notes, an apology to Finn and then the Daniels, a few notes he’d saved up included to pay for the broken plates and chairs; another to Steve, for taking the chance on him and him screwing it all up, like he always did; one for Theo, a quick explanation and a (polite) request to not throw his stuff out, not that he deserved it; and finally, one for Fao. He wasn’t sure if it was a plead for him to come home safely, or an apology for everything he’d ever done. A love letter of sorts, things he’d never say out loud, but since he wasn’t coming back, that didn’t matter. Fao might as well know.

He waited until Theo had gone to bed, the older man offering to stay up and chat, sensing something was off. He’d declined, lied until he was left alone. Despite the other wolf trying to wait up, he’d drifted off, giving Harrison his opportunity.

He’d taken food from his cupboards - old stuff, nearly out of date, things he’d heard Theo complain about. It wasn’t like Harrison to just take charity, so he left some money too, under his letter of apology. With nothing left to do, he shouldered his backpack, shoved his rolled duvet under his arm and slipped out into the night.

When Theo woke and found Harison gone, he called everyone he knew, panic clear in his words. Nobody had seen or heard from him. And then, he found the letters.

The pack was out searching as soon as Theo raised the alarm - Harrison was still part of the pack, even after his actions. Everyone was distraught, worried about him - it wasn’t the first time he’d ran off, but everything felt wrong. His letters held too much finality, too much goodbye.

When Fao came back from his tour, it was to the family and the pack in chaos. Harrison missing was worrying, and the letter Fao read made his stomach twist. He was exhausted, just come back from war, but he threw himself into searching. Of course, after he'd spent some time with Finn. Something about what Harrison had said in his letter sent Fao searching further afield than he usually would. He spent days scouring the woods as wolf, sleeping under bushes despite the cold and wind. He clung to every hint of a scent, desperate to find him.

Haarrison kept his distance, travelled North. He’d never been far from London, only ever travelling to the south coast on the ‘family’ holidays he’d had. There was nothing for him in the north, but that was part of the (pull) of it. He wasted most of his money on hotels, trying his best to find somewhere to stay out of the cold and rain. There wasn’t much he could do; he couldn’t work, had to be careful where he left his leg when he shifted too. He did his best to hide his scent, to keep the pack from finding him, not that they’d be looking for him anyway.

The food was gone quickly too, despite his attempt to ration and hunt when he could. The idea of fish had quickly grown stale, rabbit and pigeon following suit.

He didn’t dare to beg, though would often find some safety in sleeping in doorways in city centres, his duvet wrapped tight around him. He was caught out a few times too, woken up to someone trying to rob him and beat him up. Bloody lip and bruised eyes left him more suspicious, made him sit awake at night. His black eyes grew into dark bags under his eyes, his tiredness past exhaustion.

With the days slightly warmer, more crowds flocked to the streets. His usual sleeping places disturbed by foot traffic and prying eyes. As much as he tried to sleep during the day, every instinct in him begged him to keep moving, to try and evade any search efforts that might still be going on. After all, he’d caused so much trouble within the pack, they’d surely still be out for blood.

It took Fao a long while to even get close to finding him. But his letter kept him going, scanning over each word to try and find any hint of where he was. It took him much further North than he expected. He lost the scent, and had pretty much given up as he headed into the town, very much human, in search of a hotel room to stay in and get cleaned up. But then he caught a scent again, and whilst he couldn’t be sure, it certainly seemed like him.

And there, curled up in a shop doorway, was Harrison. He was curled under a filthy duvet, and he smelled sick, but it was him.

Fao stopped dead.

“Harrison? Tomcat?”

He didn’t move at first. There was no way Fao had found him, not this far away. He sniffed quietly. Well, shit. Not one to give up, he pulled the duvet further over his head, trying to hide.

“Harrison?”

“No.”

“It’s only me.”

He sat up slowly, breathing deeply as he tried to check if it really was just Fao. The others wouldn't be too far away. “Fao.”

“Hey, stranger.”

“What do you want?” He got stiffly to his feet, backed in the corner.

“Wanted to find you. Came back from tour and you’d gone.”

“Yeah.”

“I've missed you, Tomcat.”

“So what have you come to do?”

“Came to find you. Your letter… Well, I…”

“I said what I said.”

“I was scared I'd lose you.”

“I’m not coming back.” He frowned. “If you’re going to kill me, just get it over with.”

“I'm not gonna kill you, don't be daft.” Fao said. “But I swear I've been wolf for like a week, I was gonna get a hotel room, grab a shower and some food? Wanna come?”

“So you can tell the others where I am so they can get me? Yeah, sure.”

“They don't know I'm here, and I'm not going to tell them. I won't tell them I've found you, if you'd rather not. But nobody wants to kill you.”

“Of course they do.”

“They don't, Hars. They're all really worried about you.”

He shook his head with a bark of a laugh. "Don't be daft."

“They are. Sheila's a wreck.”

“She hates me.”

“She doesn’t.”

“They’re not my pack any more.”

“They’re always going to be your pack, Hars.”

He scoffed. "They kicked me out. I deserved it."

“They told you to leave the house. That doesn't mean you're gone from the pack.”

“As good as.”

“Not at all.”

“I’ve said what I said, Fao. I’m not going back.” He squared his shoulders, clenched his jaw. “Just leave me alone.”

“Come on, let’s at least grab a shower, some hot food and sleep in a real bed tonight.”

He shook his head, though his heart desperately wanted to. “No, I’m not...I’ve got to go now.”

“No commitment. Have some food, a soft place to sleep. And then if you still want to walk away… I can’t stop you.”

“So you can kill me in my sleep.” He laughed drily or dryly whatever. “Yeah, sure.”

“You don’t trust me anymore?”

“I trust that pack will come before I do.”

“They’re not coming. I can’t even tell them, my phone is dead.”

“You can charge it.”

“Why would I tell them? I’m just here for you.”

“Because you all want me dead.”

“We don’t.”

He couldn;t allow himself the hope. “No.”

“I swear, tomcat. Swear on my life.”

Fao wouldn’t lie to him. “No, mate. It’s okay.”

“Come on, let’s get you warm and fed, eh?” Fao said, offering him a hand.

He flinched away; his back hit against stone and he groaned. “I’ve said no.”

Fao frowned, and stepped back. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know, I know.” He wrapped an arm around his stomach, protecting himself. “I know.”

Fao dropped his gaze, wolf body language taking over by default. “I’m just here to help you.”

“Honest?”

“Honest. I wouldn't lie.”

He hesitated, almost giving in. “I’ve not got any money.”

“Let me worry about the money.”

“I’m not taking charity.”

“Do I look like a charity? You're family, shut up and let me take care of you, tomcat.”

"I'm not family." He spat.

“You are to me.” Fao said, folding his arms over his chest. “Don't snap at me.” His tone betrayed where he'd been for the past few months, a hangover from his tour.

"I'll do what I want."

Fao raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say a word.

Harrison's lip curled. "What are you going to do?"

“Dunno. Figured I'd just wait for you to stop being an ass.

"I'm packing my shit and going." He all but snarled, starting to roll his duvet up.

“Okay. You want a hand?”

"Does it look like I want a hand?"

“Well, you seem to be making this a big thing. Bit dramatic if you ask me, all I did was offer you some food and a warm bed.”

"You only offered so you'd have the chance to hurt me."

“No I didn't. I don't want to hurt you.”

"You have to."

“No I don't.”

"An eye for an eye."

“Nobody cares about any of that crap.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I'm not lying.”

"I'll pay you back." He softened.

“If you want to.”

“I will.”

“Come on then. Food, a shower and sleep in a real bed.””

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” He said. “Nothing I’m not used to.”

“No, come on. We'll get you a good bed.”

He could fight it later. “Okay.”

Slowly, Fao offered Harrison his hand again. “Come on, then.”

Harrison shouldered his pack, then reached for Fao's hand. "Thank you."

“I've missed you.”

"Don't be daft."

“I really have!”

He didn't say anything. He still wasn't sure where he stood. There was no sign of ill intentions with Fao, but he couldn't be too careful.

Fao sighed, but didn't push it. Harrison was going to take time to trust him again. But he lead him to the hotel he'd planned on staying in, and managed to reserve a double room. They'd both have somewhere proper to sleep, hot water, and food that night and the next morning.

Harrison hesitated again. “Can I grab a shower?”

“Of course. You got some clean clothes?”

“Clean enough.”

“Grab some of mine, they're clean. And we can buy some more for you.”

“It’s fine. I can wash them in the sink.”

“No, Hars. We’ll get you some nice clothes.”

“I’ve got clothes.”

“Clean clothes.”

"They will be once I've washed them."

“Alright.”

“I told you,” he said gruffly. “I’m not taking charity.”

“I know. But there's a difference between pity and help.”

“And I don’t think you know the difference.”

“Of course I do.”

"Then stop pitying me."

“I'm not pitying you. I'm just trying to help.”

He scuffed his feet. "Feels a lot like pity."

“But Tomcat, you think anyone who's trying to help is pitying you.”

“Because it’s the same thing.”

“It's not.”

“No?” He raised an eyebrow. “Could have fooled me.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“How far is the hotel?”

“Not far.”

“I’ve had enough walking.”

“It's not too far. But I can carry some of your stuff?”

He jerked away. "It's mine."

“I'm not gonna take it. Thought it might just make the walk easier if you didn't have so much to carry.”

“I always have to carry it. Otherwise someone would nick it.”

“I'm not gonna nick it.”

"You might." He shrugged his backpack on again. "It's fine."

“Okay.” It hurt that Harrison didn't trust him any more, but he didn't know what else to do or say.

Harrison could sense the pain from Fao and he sighed. "It's filthy anyway, I'm better off carrying it."

“Whatever you're comfortable with.”

"Not fair on you."

“Not like I'm not fit.”

He huffed. "Yeah, that's true."

“So I'm happy to carry if you need it.”

"It's okay."

“Let’s get going, then.”

He sighed. “Yeah, sure.”

Fao led the way to the hotel, trying to keep a slow pace so Harrison didn't have to rush.

Harrison hesitated outside, turning to Fao. “They’ll kick me out again.”

“No they won't. They've been paid enough.”

“Still, they’ve seen the state of me.”

“You look fine, just a bit scuffed up.”

“I look homeless.”

“Well, Hars, I hate to break it to you, but you have been living on the streets.” Fao attempted to joke. “Come on, take my hoodie.” He pulled it over his head.

“You think I don’t know?” Harrison snapped at Fao.

“Sorry, sorry. Stupid joke. Come on, just take the hoodie, it’ll be alright. You’re clearly with me, so it’s fine.”

“And what about my shit?”

“I’ll carry it.”

“They won’t let you in.”

“Give it here, I’ll shove it in my bag?”

“Let me carry the bag though?”

“Sure, so long as you don’t break it.”

“I’m not going to.”

“Good.” Fao shrugged his bag off and rolled Harrison’s duvet and other crap up to shove it inside. “That’s alright?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He swung it onto his back. “Thanks.”

“Let's go, then.”

“Right.” He nodded. “After you.”

Fao led the way inside, glancing back at Harrison to make sure he was still following.

"I'm not going to run off. Don't give me that look."

“But you thought about it.”

“No.” He lied.

Fao raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. They got inside, and spoke to the person at the desk. He shot them some slightly odd looks, but Fao spoke in a way that dared him to give them shit, and nothing was said. They were given keys, and directions to the room. They headed up, and Fao unlocked the door to let Harrison inside. “Here we go. Much better.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Do you wanna grab a shower?”

“Yes please.”

“Go on, then.”

He glanced at Fao before heading into the bathroom, backpack still on. “Won’t be long.”

“Harrison. My pack, please?”

“It’s got my stuff in.”

“Take your stuff out?”

“Fine.”

“Thanks.”

He shoved his pack towards Fao. “I’m getting a shower now.”

“Yeah, go ahead. Enjoy it.”

He headed back into the bathroom, dumping his stuff on the floor before stripping. He ran the water hot, used as much shampoo and bodywash as he could, and just stood under the stream. It was a stark difference from his previous attempts at a shower, a hurried wash in the mcdonalds toilets. After washing his hair and body, he slumped down, sliding until he was sat on the shower floor. His head in his hands, he let himself cry, all his emotions coming to a head.

Fao gave Harrison plenty of time in the shower. He deserved his privacy, and it was no doubt the first shower he'd had in far too long. He sorted through the other wolf's stuff, only to neatly fold it for now. He'd go through and wash it later for him. Even the duvet could be washed, he was sure. Of course he wanted to bring Harrison home, but if he chose to keep living this way, the best he could do was make him more comfortable.

Harrison eventually emerged from the bathroom, hair still dripping and a mess on his head. He was in slightly cleaner clothes, his others having also had a wash. When he saw Fao, his lip curled.

"I told you not to touch my stuff."

“I just folded them for you.” Fao said, guarded. “That way you can pick out what wants washing and if anything needs fixing. It didn't seem right, just leaving it in a pile on the floor. It's all there, you can check it for yourself."

"It's not yours to touch."

“Look, sorry. I was only trying to help.”

"I didn't ask for your help!" He shot back, his wavering voice betraying him. "I didn't ask for any of it."

“Look, I don't know what the fuck happened back home, I don't care, but I'm your pack and I'm your family and we help eachother out when we end up in the shit! I'm not long back from fucking Afghanistan, and yet here I am with you, because I'm not just going to walk past and leave you to suffer. So get your head out of your ass and just let me help, for fuck's sake. It's not pity, it's not charity, it's me helping a friend. And I'm sorry I touched your stuff, I am. But I was only trying to make your life easier!”

Harrison didn’t say anything, visibly shrinking back on himself, his lip trembling. He turned away, grabbing his clothes and stuffing them haphazardly into his bag.

Fao softened, and stepped back. He'd gone too far, he knew he had, but Harrison was just so frustrating. It didn't help just how worried he was about him.

“Look, Tomcat, I'm sorry…”

He shook his head, his wet clothes shoved on top. "Don't."

“Don't go. I'll leave you be, the room is yours. Don't have to see my stupid face. But take it, sleep in a real bed, eat real food. For your own health.”

"It's fine." He tried to slink past Fao. "I'm fine."

“No, Hars, you're not fine.”

"I am."

“You're so far from fine it hurts. I read your letter, I really thought I was never going to see you again. I thought I'd lost you. Please, don't go…”

He stopped, finally looking at Fao. "You weren't meant to find me."

“And yet I did.” Fao said, stepping closer. “Come on, don't throw it all in now.”

"I can't." He shook his head, clenched his jaw to try and stop the tears that threatened again. "It's already over."

Fao couldn't help himself, he pulled Harrison in for a hug, crushing him against his chest. “Oh, Tomcat, nothing is ever over.”

#Harrison #Fao Blackwood #whump #bthb card #whump prompt #Harrison is sad #anger born of worry #what immortal au #he's been homeless a While #bc he's a dick #harrison is having a bad day #tomcat and wolfie

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mytwistedhome · 4 years

Text

Pomefiore and Ignihyde when they find out you have Anorexia

Trigger warning to anyone who suffers with an eating disorder!!

I decided to write these headcanons because I've been having a really tough two weeks, and thinking of the twst boys makes me happy...

I hope this can maybe bring comfort to someone else, or at least provide some bit of entertainment. My intention is not to cause harm or trigger anyone. That is the last thing I want.

Other dorms will be coming as well! I already started working on all of them, but I just haven’t finished them. They will most likely be posted the next time I have a bad day //

One more quick thing: I will be posting requests this week! I’ve already broken several promises that I made in regards to the time I’d post, and I feel horribly guilty. I’m sorry for the wait. I know I shouldn’t tell you to expect something on a certain day and then delay it for weeks. I should be honest about my efficiency, and I am sorry.

I'm also sorry for not responding to message (this applies to all my blogs...) I see them, but then forget about them, and then cower away because I feel like I'm already too late. I hope this little apology is enough to suffice... I'll apologize properly to every person when I find the courage. I know I shouldn't be doing this to people who've been kind to me just because I feel unwell. Please know that I am very sorry, and I'm trying to be more responsible and less careless to those around me.

💜

Vil Shoenheit

So that's why your skin is so dry and you have bags under your eyes

He scolds you at first. He believes that you’re starving to get a good figure, and he tries to inform you that doing so is unhealthy and that being malnourished actually makes a person quite ugly.

As if you haven’t already heard all this before

You try to tell him that you’re not doing this to look good. At least, not anymore. Sure, it started out as a way to lose weight, but it soon became an obsession much more meaningful than beauty or weight-loss.

He doesn’t understand. Why would you deliberately hurt yourself like that? Especially when you’re aware of all these negative outcomes?

Nevertheless, he is still very worried about you

He wouldn't normally concern himself with such a personal problem, but he would feel so guilty if he just stood back and watched you whither away

So, he does, indeed, go out of his way to try and help you

He finds a psychology book about eating disorders in the library, and he reads it in its entirety

He is... quite disturbed. He never imagined that you could be suffering so badly.

He's smart enough to realize that he, himself, can't do anything to make you better

He encourages you to seek professional help, and he even searches for phone numbers you can call and therapists/counselors close by of whom you can see

You are really touched by his efforts to find help, and you promise him that you will see one of the counselors he recommended

But... several weeks go by, and you haven't done anything

Vil grows furious. Don’t you want help!?

He takes your lack of seeking help rather personally... He went out of his way to provide with the things he felt that you really needed. Don’t you appreciate that? Don’t you care about yourself? What more do you want him to do?

You try to tell him that you don’t want him to do anything, that you’ll find help when you’re ready--

Vil isn’t buying that

What does “ready” mean, anyways? When you’re already in the grave?

He’s a bit harsh on you... He points out the patches of dry skin along your neck and chest, the way the hairs of your arms always stand on end from goosebumps, the metallic taste in your mouth...

Are you happy with those things? Do you really want to live this way?

You try and try to explain to him that it’s hard to get help and go back to eating normally

It spirals into an argument...

Vil is done with this. He did what he could and got you the resources you need to begin recovery. Once you decide to get help, he will be there for you. He will be there whenever you reach out for support, comfort, or care. But, until then, don’t talk to him about it. Don’t complain about your misery until you have sought proper help. It’s your fault at this point, isn’t it?

Rook Hunt

He had noticed that you were very quickly losing a lot of weight

He was concerned, but he never imagined that the problem could be something so serious

You're actually surprised with just how much he's concerned. You thought that if there was anyone to romanticize such a disease, it would be him

But he seems to know more than you thought about such disorders

He begs you to get professional help, and he is quite a bit more pushy and earnest than Vil is...

You try to explain to him that no doctor or therapist could ever help unless you were READY and WANTED to be helped

Well, he doesn't understand why you don't want help

He's pushing and pushing you... begging you to seek a professional

You get so frustrated that you turn and leave. He just doesn't understand!

And now Rook is even more distressed. How will he ever get through to you? How can he ever help you?

Now, every time he sees you, he looks at you with such sorrow

He sadly remarks upon how your beauty is fading... and how he fears that your life may be fading as well

Your heart aches to hear such sincere worry... Your chest feels tighter than it normally does as you crumble with guilt

You promise yourself you'll get better... Just so you won't have to see Rook with a horribly sad expression whenever he passes you

You start eating more in front of him to ease his worry, which does work a little bit

You add about 400 more calories to your usual intake--enough so that your "recovery" becomes visible through the way you bounce with energy

But you stay up late at night, running laps and doing situps to burn off some of that intake

And you keep losing weight

In fact, it's worse now because your body is aching from the unfamiliar intake and exercise...

Well, at least you look better

At least you have Rook fooled

Or so you think. It'll only be a matter of weeks before he catches onto your schemes and grows so distressed once again

He tries to sit you down and have a talk with you... He just really wants you to get help

Epel Felmier

Poor Epel finds out after he witnesses you collapsing in the middle of the hallway when no one else is around

He panics and rushes to your side, trying to see what is wrong and how he can help you

You blacked out for several seconds, which is why you collapsed, but even though you have your vision back, everything is still very cloudy and you are too weak to stand up

This makes Epel panic even more

You try to calm him down, despite your weakness

"it's okay, Epel...! Just get me something to eat. Please, I need something to eat. Hurry!"

He is a bit confused, but he does what you say, and he rushes off to find you some food

While he is gone, you try to stand, but to no avail. Your stomach aches with hunger and you are cold all over. Your body just feels so miserable

He rushes back to you with an apple and places his hands on your shoulders in concern as you quickly eat it down

That apple... It's the best thing you've ever tasted, but it's gone too quickly, and your mouth waters for more as the last bites slide down your throat

Although it was small, it still gives your body such a blissful burst of energy. All your senses are ignited now that you have finally eaten something after such a long fast, and your head is hurting far less

You stand up and smile at Epel, thanking him graciously before turning to leave

Uuuhhhhh.... What was that?

You suddenly collapse on the ground and then are all better after eating a simple apple?

No way is Epel going to let you go just like that. He holds you back, demanding an explanation, for it surely seems you know quite a bit about this bizarre thing that just happened

You try to tell him it's nothing, just a strange thing that happened this one time

Well, then, how did you know how to fix it by eating something?

You quickly lie and tell him you get dizzy sometimes and fall due to low blood sugar

Well, now your story is inconsistent

He presses you for the truth, growing rather angry

His harsh tone begins to scare you, and you tell him... You tell him that, sometimes, you go days without eating, and it of course causes you to grow so weary that you faint

You watch as all the frustration quickly rushes away from Epel's face, leaving his eyes wide and mouth hanging open in shock

"That... That's really unhealthy..."

Oh, great. Not this speech again

But, it actually isn't a lecture about how this is such a "dangerous diet"

Instead, Epel pours out all his concern with a sad look upon his face

He knows that he can't do much, but he assures you that you can come to him if ever things become too tough to handle

You're touched by his offer, and you thank him for his understanding

But, now, everytime he's around, he watches you with care to see if you're doing alright and to make sure you don't fall over again

You hadn't expected him to worry this much...

If Epel ever thinks that things are getting out of hand, he will likely go behind your back to someone who can help for your sake

💙

Idia Shroud

He really wishes that he hadn't found out because now he can't stop worrying

This is the kind of thing that would just be easier to ignore and shut away from his mind

But how could he possibly ignore something as serious as this?

He keeps telling himself that this isn't supposed to be his issue

But... It is his issue, isn't it? If you ended up dying and he knew all along about your suffering yet did nothing to help, than that would mean that he aided in your death, right?

He's really starting to panic. He doesn't what you dead. Not at all

But... What is he supposed to do???

He calms himself down and tries to think

Perhaps if he built you a mechanical body that didn't need food this whole thing would seize to be a problem...

No, bad idea

Well, that will be his last resort if nothing else works...

He messages you and tries to plead with you to please just eat and take care of yourself...

You message back, explaining to him that it really isn't that simple

He decides to ask why you're doing this, and he tries to show through his words how much he really cares

You feel comfortable enough in telling him some of the reasons why you think you started, and why it's now so hard to stop and all you want is to continue with it...

Idia is happy that you were able to open up to him this much, but what is he really supposed to do with this information? He's no therapist...

Well, being vulnerable with you emotions and talking about the problem is at least one step in the right direction, isn't it?

Idia continues to try to be a source of comfort for you, while also encouraging you to seek proper help

Ortho Shroud

Oh, no... He can’t help you with this, can he?

Why can’t he help you? Why won’t you get better?

Surely nii-san programmed him with something that could help you...

Right...?

RIGHT!?

Why aren’t you better?

Why are you doing this to yourself!?

Ortho is a mess... so distressed. He can’t understand--he doesn’t have the capacity to understand such a disorder, and he is so frustrated that nothing he does is helping!

And he does everything

He exhausts himself trying to “fix your mind”

His eyes are wide, yellow irises shaking with misery

Knowing that you are willingly hurting yourself actually traumatizes him...

He can't wrap his head around such an awful mental illness. To him, it looks as though you're really trying to harm, hurt, and even kill yourself by your own accord

Something must be wrong with your brain, but he just doesn't know what!

The poor child is so upset. He's panicked and worried sick

And now you feel even worse

Sorry for ending on such a horrible note... I was originally going to have all the dorms, so Diasomnia would’ve come and saved the day, but I just didn’t finish them.

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