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#truly groundbreaking stuff
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Jason Manford: time to hear bring him home like you’ve never heard it before Les Mis fans:
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ourlonelymoon · 3 months
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One thing I didn't truly realise until I started writing fanfiction, is how good for you it is. And it took writing an angsty Tanthamore fic to realise it.
Like, I have loved writing since I was a little kid: I planned this whole series of dragon books when I was 9 (only the first got written), I write poems, and I journal every night. But it's not what I do - my main focus, my day-to-day, is very very STEM heavy. Writing is my hobby, my outlet. It was just for me.
And then I started posting my works and I was writing about characters in different realities, characters than I love, rather than people I knew and my own personal pining. It uncovered this whole other layer of escapism that I, even as someone already using writing as an escape, hadn't realised was there. It became a catharsis.
Tell Me When Its Over has elements of myself, in that I think it's impossible for a writer not to leave traces between their sentences, but it's another fic that has really hammered this home for me.
I have a half written, unpublished fic called An Ode to Letting Go sitting in google docs that I started writing just over 6 months ago. When I started it, I was dealing with the end of a summer fling with an ex-girlfriend (lots of history, messy, emotional, good and bad) that ended when I wasn't really ready for it to. We were friends before and after, but I've always said we weren't very good at or very committed to being truly platonic. The basis of the fic is Jade and Kit as ex-childhood-sweethearts, turning into this toxic on-and-off couple, sort of by mistake, as they try to deal with their outgrown love for each other. It is, undeniably, a story about my own relationship, albeit adapted to work for the characters.
And this is my point, because I wrote myself an ending. I gave the characters their motives, and I got them to explain, and they didn't end up together but they were happy. It was this accidental love letter to myself to show me the light at the end of the tunnel when I was miserable. Yesterday, I reread it for the first time in months and it sounds cringy but I could feel the growth in myself. There's a high chance that this fic will sit unfinished for the rest of my life because I don't need it anymore, but if it ever gets shared there is real peace in knowing that I can give other people these parts of me. And that is the magic, I think, of fanfiction and writing in general - how it can show you who you are, and heal you. When we exchange fics it's like we're all shouting out "Look at this piece of me in this character! Show me where you are.", and I think that is so so lovely.
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dashiellqvverty · 1 year
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like yeah maybe tlj would have been subversive or whatever if finn and poe had been completely different characters. and also white men. but finn and poe already WERE subverting what was typical of star wars (and like pop culture in general) by being men of color in these hero roles. like okay a han solo type getting too confident and fucking up and learning he was wrong WOULD be flipping our expectations but poe never WAS a han solo type, at least not in the way tlj/rian johnson framed him to be.
it is just so clear that rian johnson had this idea in his head for a ~different/unexpected/whatever~ take on star wars but he had to force every single existing character into a new shape to fit what they needed to be for his story with NO regard for who they already were and absolutely no care for how he was stereotyping, demonizing, and humiliating men of color in order to fit his ~vision~
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dear-wormwood · 1 year
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Alhaitham/Kaveh (Genshin Impact) Characters: Kaveh (Genshin Impact), Alhaitham (Genshin Impact), Background & Cameo Characters Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, ooft hurt myself with this one, tags will update as fic does, time jump?, idk - Freeform, i read faruzan's story and this inspired me, youre welcome, Soft Alhaitham (Genshin Impact), Caring Alhaitham (Genshin Impact), Alhaitham is Soft for Kaveh (Genshin Impact), Whump, Soft Kaveh (Genshin Impact), Protective Alhaitham (Genshin Impact) Summary:
Kaveh returns from a trip in the ruins in the late hours of the night, and slowly finds out that maybe, maybe it hadn't been an ordinary trip in the desert.
There are times when my longing for you overwhelms me [...] so often that I can think of you only with teeth clenched - Franz Kafka
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celluloidbroomcloset · 4 months
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OK. I wrote some of this in a vent to @sparklywaistcoat, but I'm gonna say it here.
I'm less sad about there not being a Season 3 and feel more just tearful anger that once again studios and streamers truly don't give a fuck about art or what it means to people or to culture. It’s corporations who just want to reproduce the same boring shit for the same boring people and even when they have something that’s popular and loved, they just can’t see past their own very narrow worldview. I really did think that the second season was going to get chucked once HBO Max restructured and WB merged with Discovery. I was shocked that it ever got released.
There’s such a wonderful scope of art in this world, but streamers won’t give it the space it needs to breathe. So when you get something like OFMD or Reservation Dogs or Good Omens, it’s so hopeful and yet you just sit there in heartbreak, hoping it doesn’t go away, or that it can at least play out as the people who make it want it to. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't, but we have to remember that even when it doesn't, it still means something.
Now, Hollywood has always been like this, but it’s still very hard to see art being treated so callously. It’s like when the Code came in and you look back and see all these lovely things, truly groundbreaking stuff, that got cut off at the knees because of the fucking mainstream conservatives who thought they knew what was best, and the Hollywood studios that went right along with them to keep selling their product.
But the studio system, and the Code, broke, and it is breaking again. We’re in line for a major bursting of cinematic art as creators escape from franchises and the mainstream, a la American Independent cinema. It is already happening. The new studio system, built on streamers and franchises, of which WB and HBOMax is a part, is collapsing. OFMD is a big sign of that—an openly queer, incredibly diverse TV show that kept pushing and pushing through eighteen episodes, that rejected queerbaiting, that rejected convention, and that built itself on being a gay pirate rom-com and was exactly that.
Queer media has done more than broken through. It has embedded itself in the culture in a way that it never did in the past. It's out from the underground without assimilation. OFMD is not the only part of that, but it is a part of it. And that's something that HBOMax, Zaslav, Hollywood, the studio system, the entire straight, cis, white, conservative, conventional mainstream world can absolutely never take away or push back into the closet. They will try, though, and they will lose. They already lost.
So, yeah, I'm angry and I'm sad, and they fucked Calypso's birthday. But we can chuck a fiddle at their heads to protect the people we love, and it isn't going to destroy our souls.
Our spirit will last throughout their entire fucking empire.
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st-just · 4 months
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Hi there, could you expand on the post: my-overarching-take-is-that-artists-and-cultural? I'm curious to hear your take (which is usually p 🔥)
re:
Oh just like - you know that one famous (IIRC) Chomsky line about how he doesn't think mainstream news anchors are consciously cynical or mercenary, but the role would only ever be filled who earnestly and sincerely believed the same things they do?
My general take is that popular fiction is basically the same - there's a whole ocean of raw material and artistic passion out there, but what becomes a huge hit or celebrated in the halls of power and what gets forgotten by the next month has almost nothing to do with the art itself and everything to do with how the audience receives it. There are a few exceptions, sure, but generally society conjures up and elevates the art it requires; and so art is an interesting reflection of the society that celebrates and patronizes it, but trying to create art is on its own a truly terrible way to change society - if it doesn't want it, it will wither on the vine.
(All of this is in terms of stuff with a real mass audience, of course. creation or deep reading and critique of some niche publication functionally no one will ever read can be fun and uplifting but on an activism/social change level is basically useless. The soul of American can be seen in deeply mid propaganda shooters and new adult romances, not anything truly groundbreaking or, like, good.)
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godlyicarus · 9 months
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seeing a gay middle eastern character with the name youssef (my name!!!) on screen on a major internationally adored show has truly healed something in me that i wasn't sure would ever heal so thank you for that @chronicintrovert, truly groundbreaking stuff
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eddens-the-reporter · 2 months
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The one thing I never see get brought up is that by the time Jason Todd confronts Tim at Titans Tower, Tim is on his second go-round at being Robin.
Tim’s dad made him give up Robin. At this point, the Robin that came before Tim - the Robin that most recently died - is Stephanie, not Jason. (As an aside, I don’t think Jason knows this because I don’t think Jason cares about any tragedies that happened after him - as in I don’t think he can wrap his head around life really truly carrying on without him.)
And so Jason challenges Tim on whether he deserves Robin as though it’s something Tim has never had to consider. Jason thinks he’s playing mind games; he hopes Tim will come out of this with self-doubt and mistrust in Batman. Tim, meanwhile, very recently watched someone else take over as Robin - directly as a result of him stepping away - fuck up massively, and get herself killed. Tim had to have considered not only whether he wants to be Robin, independently of what Jack Drake and Batman seem to need, but whether he’s good enough to do the job. You could make the argument that Tim didn’t fully know what he was getting into when he first started; you can’t say that anymore at this point. Jason is interesting because surprise! he’s alive! but none of what he says or does is remotely new territory for Tim at this point.
It’s also important to me to note that Tim really loved and mourned Steph, much more than he cared about Jason. I don’t think this does anything to Tim’s belief that he’s better at being Robin than Steph was, but in my heart it does mean that he wouldn’t accept Jason claiming any special authority because he died as Robin; Steph did too.
(And on the subject of Titans Tower timing, in-universe we are maybe a couple months after Jack Drake’s dying words to his son being that he was proud of him for being Robin, so do with that what you will)
Idk, I think there’s some interesting stuff to consider in the way that this comic makes Jason seem stuck in a time period when tragedies were more shocking and faith in heroes was more groundbreaking. He doesn’t know how to challenge the Robin of the present, who’s so familiar with grief and uncertainty that it doesn’t faze him in the same way it would - did? - faze Jason. Like, would it have shaken Tim more if Jason had known to bring up Stephanie? If Jason had questioned whether Tim is honouring Steph and his father by being Robin, and whether Tim thinks it would get someone killed (again) if he stopped? Would it have thrown Jason if Tim brought up Stephanie?
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t-lostinworlds · 1 year
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I Spy, No Spy | Peter Parker
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》 PAIRING: peter parker x avenger/secret agent female!reader
》 TROPE/GENRE: friends to lovers; fake dating-ish; fluff
》 SUMMARY: You're a trained spy, Peter was not. But you two ended up on a mission together where he was needed to be less of the chatty superhero in red & blue tights and more of a debonair undercover agent in a suit & tie. It shouldn't be too difficult, right? No mask, no web shooters. Just you and him pretending to be fiancés, hiding and making out in a closet to avoid getting caught—simple. Unless he included his overgrowing feelings for you, of course.
》 WARNINGS: peter being down bad & horny™️ for r (my fave genre of peter by the looks of it), slight self-deprecating peter, pet names (darling, my love, babe, angel), peter x suit x glasses (a dangerous combo), mediocre spy-ish stuff, canon typical violence (i.e. guns, knives, fighting, ass-kicking), slight jealousy/possessiveness (both parties), slight pettiness from r, closet make-out, little peter got excited (idk why i said it like that lmao it’s just a boner), cuddling w/ boob grab (not sexual lol).
》 WORD COUNT: 21.3k+ (is anyone still surprised)
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✘ MOODBOARD
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A/N: this idea has been in my drafts since sept or oct 2020? I think? basically i plotted this a decade ago a.k.a this happens after Endgame but before...anything else (NWH who? lol) this is more an alternate universe tho. i honestly have no idea how i feel about this but i did enjoy writing it. a pretty tame, fun lil spy au fic so nothing groundbreaking sksks anyways! i hope you enjoy!
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📍 BLOG NAVIGATION ✩ PETER PARKER MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩
⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *。・゚.★. *。・゚✫*.
The sun rays that leaked through Peter's bedroom window tickled his eyelids, making them flutter open as he yawned.
A tired smile curled on his lips as he buried his nose into his pillow. It was rather comforting, hearing the faint chirping of birds, the soft rustle of the tree just outside his room, and hell, even the chants in the far-off distance of people training.
It was a peaceful Saturday morning, and Peter really liked that.
To top it off, summer had just begun, so no college work to worry about in the meantime. He was finally having a much-needed break from obligation and responsibilities—well, not entirely since the superhero gig didn't really have actual breaks. But he was hopeful that today was a quiet day, at least.
There were plenty of activities that could take up his whole day. He could start with a morning run around the large stretch of land, maybe pack up some breakfast and eat it by the lake, located at the edge of the area. He didn't mean to sound like some guru, but he could really use being one with nature for a little bit. Maybe he could meet his friends for lunch if any of them were free, or maybe he could spend the afternoon relaxing by the compound's private pool—
"Good morning, Peter."
Peter jumped with a squeak, limbs tangling with his sheets, making him fall off the bed with a loud thud. Groaning, he slowly sat up on the floor, rubbing the back of his head to soothe it.
That was certainly one way to get the sleep out of your system.
"Emergency meeting in conference room A-One in ten minutes."
Well, so much for his plans to relax.
"Got it, FRIDAY."
It was still a bit odd hearing the A.I. as an alarm early in the morning most of the time. She was certainly very helpful though. From scheduling to reminders, simple google searches to more complicated equation-solving whenever he would need help.
FRIDAY was like the compound's own Alexa but much, much more advanced. Well, she certainly wasn't meant to be used as such but nobody could truly blame him for not taking the perks for granted.
And there were a lot of perks living in the place—the Avenger's compound, to be specific—and despite being here for almost a year now, Peter still hadn't gotten used to its extravagance, much less exhausted all its resources.
It was a drastic change from the little apartment where he and May used to live, and he wasn't talking about the size alone.
She was living with Happy now, Peter visiting over for dinner whenever he could. She was a bit reluctant to let him move out at first. It was expected when they'd practically been living together for a good chunk of his life. But he was grown now, so wanting to dabble into independence shouldn't come off as a surprise.
Sure, it was more him being available and closer to saving the world type of independence, but independence, nonetheless.
Plus, Peter simply wanted to give them as much privacy as he could.
Happy and May were like teenagers in love and the things he heard despite the thick walls thanks to his enhanced abilities…he'd rather not think about it. His super hearing definitely helped in making the decision.
He still hadn't stopped patrolling New York, of course. If it was a quiet day on earth—more so, the universe—he still swung about the city, stopping any petty crime he would come across. But when an Avenger's level threat would arise, Peter was now only a couple of doors down, equipped and ready to join the mission.
It was difficult to juggle: his normal life, attending college, being Spider-Man on top of being an official Avenger.
Nonetheless, Peter wouldn't have it any other way.
Maybe it was because he enjoyed the thrill of taking the superhero gig to the next level. Or maybe it was because he was granted the opportunity to live lavishly in the compound. Maybe it was the sheer feeling of accomplishment and pride to be able to save the world. 
Or maybe it was because he got to see you every day.
You, who Peter has an insanely huge crush—no, who he really, really liked.
He might even go as far as to say that he was falling for you.
The two of you had moved in at the same time.
He could still vividly remember how he'd just placed the last box on his bed when the building shook. He peered out his window to see what the commotion was about, just in time to catch the Quinjet landing on the well-kept grass. His brows had furrowed in curiosity when the door opened, watching Sam and Bucky come out first, then a third figure trailing right behind them.
Peter didn't really believe in love at first sight, but God did it feel like that when he first saw you.
Okay, maybe it wasn't exactly love—or maybe it was, who knows—but he really couldn't deny how intrigued he was of you, intimidated even. And that was when you walked into the common room in simple jeans and a pink hoodie.
He swooned the minute you smiled at him when you introduced yourself, his knees wobbling the minute you shook his hand.
It was later on that he found out that you were a former (more like forced) member of HYDRA, abducted at a young age, trained to be one of their elite spies, and brainwashed to do their bidding. Which was why it made so much sense how the one and only Bucky Barnes had a soft spot for you—quite surprising for someone who was known to be a huge grump.
You actually came from Wakanda that day, to erase whatever it was HYDRA planted into your brain. Now, you were a recruit on the team, willing to do good with the skills you now had.
You and Peter were around the same age—part of the young ones, as Bucky pointed out—so it didn't really take long for you to become friends.
Well, a friend he kept ridiculously fawning over, a friend who made his heart race whenever you were nearby, a friend who Peter didn't really want to remain as such.
He was thankful though, being your friend was better than being no one to you at all.
But still, it was difficult to suppress his feelings, especially when you were one of, if not, the sweetest and kindest person Peter had the pleasure of knowing.
Whenever he would stumble into the compound late at night, all badly beaten and bruised, somehow, you'd be the only one awake, helping him up to his own room where you'd then clean his wounds for him.
The first night it happened, you had said FRIDAY alerted you of his presence. You had rushed as fast as you could when the A.I. mentioned he was injured. After that, it simply became a routine for you both.
It was like an unspoken rule around the compound, how you were always the one who'd patch Peter up after missions—unless you weren't present, of course. There were even a handful of occasions where Peter would be the one patching you up, a rare instance where he'd be home from campus while you'd come back from an intense mission that rewarded you with fresh bruises and cuts.
He was convinced you were simply being nice to him, though. You did consider him as your friend and you were kind enough to help with an ailment or two. You were such a caring person overall. He was sure if it was any other person, you'd do the same. So, Peter wasn't exactly special in that regard.
But then you got assigned to help him train every weekend, which only made his overgrowing crush for you, well, grow some more.
It was a new requirement for recruits, learning how to fight without much use of technology.
From the wise words of the new captain: Gadgets and tech should be there as extra sets of tools, not as a replacement for your arms and limbs. If you rely on them too much, they're going to become crutches.
Bucky stared at Sam funnily at that—since his vibranium arm was both a tool and a replacement of his limb—but everyone got what he meant. Being able to take down bad guys with only your bare hands was definitely more helpful than not.
Peter didn't know if someone was secretly spying on him, or had overheard him gushing about you to Harley—or if said friend himself had ratted him out—that led to the two of you being paired together.
Bucky said that you were the best woman for the job to help improve hand-to-hand combat or overall fighting skills. You'd been training since you were young after all, and that was saying something. Peter was probably still learning his additions and subtractions while you had already mastered the art of jiu jitsu. Wanda added that the two of you were already close hence why you got paired together, simply to skip through that awkward phase of introductions.
Peter had a feeling the two were playing matchmaker. But he chose to ignore it.
Either way, it certainly didn't help his predicament.
Being so close to you in that regard, with you wearing those tight leggings and tank tops, grunting and sweating, your bodies getting tangled and just…yeah.
Training with you was enough to make his head—both heads, if being honest, but he'll keep the other one to himself—explode.
You were incredible.
So it didn't take much for him to get distracted by you during your sessions, either.
More often than not, Peter would find himself watching you in awe rather than trying to dodge your punches. You called him out on it a few times, and each time he'd turn pink, the tint on his skin turning darker when you'd order him to do push-ups as a means to discipline. You were strict at times, but he was still so lucky that you were also being patient with him when he couldn't get it quite right the first few times. Although, you being in command and in control only added to his endless list of things he was swooning over you for.
It was admirable the way you would have him so out of breath after a spar and he was the one with superpowers. You were being smart with it, tactical with the when, where and how to hit rather than just throwing a punch for the sake of it. You'd dance around him, gracefully, swiftly, strongly, each move precisely choreographed to outmatch him as if you'd already looked into the future to know what he was going to do next.
Peter was a goner the minute you pinned him down on the floor for the tenth time in that one session.
He didn't know if it was the smug smirk on your face, your knees on either side of his hips, the way you had his hands above his head, or everything all at once. But Peter's blood was definitely boiling with every touch, rushing up to his brain that quickly turned it to mush—or maybe it was rushing down. He really couldn't tell where the pulsing was coming from. If it was his heart or some other organ that gets filled with blood.
By then, he couldn't stop thinking about you, couldn't stop talking about you, head over heels like he was living and breathing for you.
Ned and Harley said it was an obsession at this point but in his defense, you were way out of his league.
And he hadn't even taken into account how you felt about him.
Sometimes, Peter would have an inkling that his feelings were reciprocated. With the way you'd smile at him, the way you'd say sweet things to him, and the lingering touches from time to time, how could he not?
But, what if that was his rose-colored glasses making them seem like something they're not? Was it truly acts of affection and adoration or was it Peter's brain just romanticizing the shit out of simple kind gestures done for a friend?
Then came the thought that you were sweet and kind to everyone. It was just who you are, a ray of sunshine through and through—a ray of sunshine that could kick your ass ten times over but still. He'd rather not give himself too much hope. It was safer to assume that you were only seeing and treating him as a friend and nothing more.
Besides, it was too far-fetched, someone like you feeling something for someone like him.
You'd walk down a hallway with your head held high, while Peter would keep his eyes trained on the tiles. You'd stare your enemy down with no hesitation, your presence commanding, threatening, both words and actions carrying that certain chill that would make anyone second guess crossing you. While Peter would dance around them to avoid proper confrontation, going for silly jokes and sarcastic quips to mask any nervousness he would sometimes feel.
You're one hell of a powerful, strong woman and that's without any enhancements or superpowers involved.
While Peter…well, he's just your dorky, other times clumsy, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
As he said, you were way, way, way out of his league.
So he really couldn't do much but admire you from afar—or up close, but discreetly—until he would grow the extra set of balls needed to actually do something about his feelings for you, especially with the possible outcome of rejection.
He'd like to believe he'd grown quite a bit of confidence after entering college. It was a slow progress but he did manage to break out of his shell. With the number of parties Harry Osborn had managed to drag him into, how could he not? He was quite glad that now, he was able to talk to pretty girls without much stuttering and blushing involved.
But somehow when it was you in front of him, he would suddenly revert to his old high school self again. His cheeks would either be red or pink, barely able to get his words out as he would sometimes stare at you for longer than he should, all awestruck and dazed with admiration.
Peter's point was painfully proven right once again when he saw you down the hallway.
You were wearing black leggings and a black tank top along with your favorite running shoes. It was your usual getup whenever you would train or workout. Yet no matter how many times Peter had seen you in them before, it never failed to make his heart skip a beat. It was nothing fancy at all, but God did it look stunning on you.
It was mostly unconscious, and well, his rational brain did sometimes take a backseat when it comes to you. But his eyes drifted over your body, from your exposed shoulders to your collarbones, flitting momentarily on your chest, before they went to your legs, your tight leggings leaving so little to his imagination as they hugged your thighs. He tried to move his gaze back up to look at you more appropriately but simply got stuck on your hips. There was a slight sway in them as you walked—in slow motion, he was sure of it—with such confidence, and the way you held yourself with power and poise was breathtaking.
Shit. Did the AC malfunction? Why is it suddenly so hot—
"Hi, Pete."
Your voice snapped him out of his stupor. But your bright, beautiful eyes and your so-goddamn-pretty smile all while you stood right in front of him was more than enough to have him swooning again.
"H-Hey," he squeaked, painfully aware of how hot his cheeks had gotten. Add the fact that he hadn't been out under the sun much, he was sure you could see how pink it was. That knowledge alone probably made it a shade darker. Then came the fleeting thought that you might've caught him practically eyeing you up—
He quickly cleared his throat, keeping his head down to hide his blush as he opened the door to the conference room.
"After you."
"Thank you," you hummed, reaching a hand out to squeeze his arm before you moved past him.
It took a lot for his knees not to wobble at the gesture, even more, when he caught a whiff of your shampoo…or was that your perfume? But if you had just gone on a morning run and taken a shower—no, that wasn't your body wash. You didn't look like you'd just got out of the shower, so maybe it was just your scent. God, you always smell so nice.
"Holy—get your shit together man," he grumbled to himself, hastily wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans, fixing up his hair before entering the conference room.
It was relatively empty—well, the whole compound was given that the rest of the Avengers weren't at headquarters in the meantime, caught in other obligations whether personal or otherwise. The only other person in the room was Wanda, sitting across from you.
"Pete," you called, tapping the chair beside you before he could even choose a seat to take. There were plenty of vacant ones. Trying to calm his raging heart, he walked over to your side and sat down. But each beat only grew faster when you tilted your head at him with a smile. "Did you go on a run this morning?"
"Oh—uh, no, not yet," he said, trying his best to keep his eyes on yours rather than let them wander, like…down your lips. Shrugging to seem unbothered, he added, "FRIDAY announced the meeting just when I woke up."
"I haven't either," you hummed. So, it was just your scent earlier, the same one that was filling up his nostrils now as you leaned a little closer to him. "Maybe we can go—"
"Another day, another robbery," Sam cut you off as he and Bucky entered the room.
You moved away from him then, leaning back on your seat, attention now on the captain. An unconscious frown made its way onto his lips, because yes, he was slightly—greatly—annoyed at the interruption.
"Only this time, it calls for a national emergency," Bucky added, taking the seat next to Wanda.
"Global, if we don't stop it in time," Sam sighed, connecting a flash drive to one of the USB ports installed on the table.
"Oh no, did they steal the president's nudes?" Peter joked, immediately shrinking in his seat when the two men shot him a look. "Sorry, sorry, bad joke and definitely not the time—I'll shut up."
"That was funny," you whispered, flashing him a smile and Peter's face immediately burned. He wasn't given much time to respond when Sam cleared his throat.
"As much as that would be horrifying, it's something much worse." He pressed a button on the table that made the hologram come to life. There was only one item shown, a rectangular, gold-colored device, probably the size of a credit card but thicker by half an inch. Sam pointed at it and said, "The Gold Codes."
"The Gold Codes?" Peter muttered, brows furrowed in confusion.
"The president's nuclear launch codes," you answered, always willing to help him out on things he wasn't too well versed on.
"Oh." Peter nodded, smiling at you appreciatively before his face fell, eyes widening in realization. "Oh. That's definitely worse than his nudes."
You laughed, and it made Peter's heart do flips.
"And of course, its partner, the nuclear football. But instead of it being a whole briefcase, it's been reduced to this—" Sam flicked through the hologram, a black device coming up beside the gold codes. It looked like a plain external hard drive, roughly the same size as a pocketbook. It wasn't that big so it was definitely easy to carry around and, by the looks of it, easier to steal.
"Technology advancing sometimes isn't the best," Bucky grumbled.
You sat straighter in your seat, forearms resting on the table as you eyed the devices. There was a furrow between your brows, lips pursed as you tilted your head.
Peter couldn't stop his smile.
He always found your thinking face adorable.
You turned to Sam after a moment and asked, "Don't they change the codes every day?"
"Yes, but as our hundred-year-old resident said, technology is advancing so the card automatically syncs up to any changes made," Sam explained.
"That's the stupidest thing ever," Wanda scoffed.
Peter nodded in agreement. "Why did these even get stolen in the first place?"
"The one who was carrying the nuclear football was a double agent," Bucky said.
"Classic," you scoffed. "And have we found where it is?"
Sam nodded at Bucky, the super soldier rummaging around a bag that Peter just noticed he brought with them. He slid across a black envelope with gold detailing, your brows furrowing as you took it in your hand.
"Oh wow, an invitation to a charity gala tonight at The Aces," you gushed, scanning through the glossy, black paper before you turned to look at Peter. You probably saw the confused look he wore because you offered him a sweet smile before explaining, "It's one of the fanciest ballrooms in New York, most of the galas they hold are very exclusive for the rich and the rich-rich, like filthy 'I can end world hunger but I'm an asshole so I won't' rich."
"Thanks," Peter hummed, smiling.
"I got you." You bumped his shoulder with a wink, which quickly made him blush.
"But it's a smokescreen," Sam continued. "The real party happens later in the night."
"That's what she said," Bucky interrupted enthusiastically, earning a heavy eye roll from Sam and laughs from you and Wanda. The technically old man looked around the room. "What? Did I say the joke wrong?"
"You got the spirit," Peter chuckled.
"As I was saying, they're holding a black market auction later in the night in the small underground theater a floor beneath the building." Sam continued, swiping up the hologram until it showed a floorplan of a theater along with a couple of photos of high-tech armor, guns, and a whole bunch of things Peter couldn't exactly name. What stood out the most to him, though, was the logos: Stark Industries, Oscorp, Pym Technologies, Sable International, and the likes. "Stolen technology and weapons being sold to anyone who has the money to buy them."
"So, it's like the dark web, but fancier," Wanda quipped.
"Stealing items and then selling them to the highest bidder," Peter hummed. "Sounds like the British."
You snorted, quickly covering your mouth when everyone turned to you with raised brows.
"Sorry," you mumbled, kicking him under the table playfully, probably as a warning to stop making you laugh. Peter only grinned proudly in response. He always felt proud whenever he made you laugh.
"Anyway, the nuclear football is easier to find. It's locked in a room along with the other items they're planning on selling," Sam started, flicking through the hologram to show a floor plan of the whole building. He circled the large room in the middle before tracing a pathway leading up to another, much smaller room. "It's located on the east wing, right side of the main ballroom. It has double doors so you wouldn't miss it, especially with the armed guards."
"And the card?" Peter asked.
"Would be much more difficult to retrieve. It's going to be with the person who orchestrated this whole thing. The problem is—"
"You don't know who it is," you finished.
Sam nodded grimly. "Whoever is the mastermind of this grand scheme has been quite good at maintaining anonymity. The only time they're going to reveal themselves, along with the codes, is during the secret auction, which you can't get into unless you're chosen to be there."
"If you think the gala was exclusive, the auction is on a different scale," Bucky explained.
"We don't know what code or secret handshake will be needed to be able to attend the auction. Our best course of action is to attend the gala, scope the scene, and hopefully, get intel on how to join the auction without much breaking and entering involved," Sam said. "I had Harley tap into the security system of the building and guess what?"
"You found an even bigger problem," you and Peter said at the same time.
Sam nodded. "The whole building is now armed with sensors fit to detect every single Avenger's superpower, any Stark-grade weapons and also, vibranium. Bucky's metal arm, Wanda's magic, my wings, so on and so forth. Neither of us could simply swoop in because the second those silent sensors go off, or any commotion will start, poof goes the codes along with our criminal."
Bucky shifted in his seat. "Even if we discard all of that and try not to use it, going in there as, quote-on-quote civilians won't work either because—"
"Everyone would immediately recognize who we are," Wanda finished.
"Since there are only two people here whose faces aren't known publicly"—Sam looked between the two of you—"Peter and Y/N, you two are going to be the ones to retrieve the codes and the football."
"W-What?" Peter choked, eyes wide as he stared at the captain. "Don't they have my powers in the sensors?"
"They only have it for your web shooters and suit, and as far as I know, both are detachable."
"But that's me, that's how I operate," he stammered. Going out there as himself wasn't part of his skill set. He'd feel too exposed without his suit. Not to mention he was going with you. Which of course wasn't a bad thing at all but it only added this pressure to not mess things up. He couldn't live with himself if he'd fail this mission, fail you—or worse, have you get hurt because he wasn't capable enough. "How am I supposed to be Spider-Man without those?"
"You have to give yourself more credit, Pete," you said, placing your hand over his own, the one resting on his thigh. Peter's eyes followed your touch before he met your gaze again, his blush prominent, heart thumping so loud he was scared you might hear it. "You're more than just a suit. And you need to remember how you've managed to make your synthetic web in the first place. So I'm sure you'll do fine with your brain alone. Even then, you still have other abilities, and you have me."
Peter looked at you fondly, a smile curling on his lips as he turned his hand so your palm was over his, squeezing it to silently say thank you. He wasn't even aware of what he was doing, not until he saw your smile turn slightly shy. It was the quick glimmer in your eyes that made him realize he was absentmindedly stroking the back of your hand with his thumb.
"Seconded." Wanda smiled at the two of you, chuckling when you and Peter jumped slightly away from each other. You pulled your hand away, Peter frowning at the loss of contact. But he shook his head, turning his focus back on the mission.
"Y/N here also said you'd gotten really good at your hand-to-hand combat skills," Bucky said, an all-knowing smile on his face as he glanced between you two. "So, I don't think you'd need your web shooters as much if ever it comes to a fight."
"Which we hope won't result in that," Sam quickly added with a reassuring nod. "The plan is simple: scope and mingle, assess the scene, try and get some information as to how to get into the auction. Once you've done that, sneak into the vault to retrieve the nuclear football. I've already assigned Harley to make a duplicate device to swap with the real one so it won't trigger the alarm.
"Then, you sit at the auction and wait until the codes come up. I'm sure it will be presented by the anonymous seller so by then, we will be able to put a face on the mastermind. Our agents should already be blocking every single exit of the building by that time so all you have to do is to retrieve the code calmly. Try and ease your way into the main stage, charm and persuade, or whichever way works. Any more questions?"
You and Peter looked at each other, before you both turned to Sam, shaking your heads.
"Good. We've already set your fake identities up, google searches running for miles, the last thing we need are photos, together, individually, candid and professional which would only take a few minutes. Your fake names are already on the guest list, your outfits and everything else you need will be waiting for you at the hotel you're getting ready at as part of the whole ruse," he instructed. "You two are the best and only shot we've got in this. Plan your moves wisely and rely on each other. We can't afford to lose those codes."
"Yes, Captain."
•••
The hotel suite was fancy.
Peter had never been in one this expensive-looking before.
It had its own living room, a minibar, a huge bathroom, a king-size bed, and then a massive window that overlooked New York City. He definitely indulged himself with their complimentary champagne, and given the fact that he couldn't get drunk, he mostly did it for the taste—which was flavored expensive, to those wondering. Hell, even the chocolate they had tasted expensive.
Then again, the two of you were undercover as a rich, engaged couple so it was part of the whole thing. You never know whose eyes and ears were for who in these types of missions.
But still, it was quite the treat and he'd be stupid not to make the most of it—without getting too distracted, of course.
Peter was now all suited up, not in spandex this time. It was a crisp, black, formal suit made with fabric he wouldn't dare guess the cost and a brand he couldn't even begin to pronounce. He had a white dress shirt underneath, paired with a black tie. The one he was currently having a hard time doing as he stood in front of the floor-length mirror in the living room.
He groaned in frustration when he once again messed it up. He didn't wear this kind of clothes often, so he really didn't have much of a reason to learn to master the art of…tying?
"Need help?"
Peter turned around, the breath knocked out of him once he saw you come out of the bedroom.
Wow.
Oh wow you looked gorgeous in red.
It was an off-shoulder, long-sleeved dress, your arms covered in lace as the fabric hugged your figure. The skirt was long as it fanned onto the floor with a really high slit on your right leg to show off the silver heels you were wearing. Your hair and make-up were done to marry the whole style, all while enhancing your natural features rather than covering them. Your red-painted lips though—
"Wow."
"Yeah," you laughed softly, your gaze falling over yourself as your hands smoothed the fabric of your dress. "I don't know who picked it but it's really pretty and it fits really nicely. Perks of having body scans for our suits, I suppose."
"You look beautiful," Peter breathed out, still frozen in his place as he stared at you in absolute awe.
"Thank you," you said, your sweet smile turning into a smirk as you eyed him up and down with a nod. "You clean up nice, too, Parker."
"Oh—uhm, t-thanks." He blushed, shaking his head before gesturing both hands at you. "But you, I—wow, you look, wow."
"Shut up," you laughed, your dress flowing as you moved closer to him. "Here, let me."
Peter wasn't even given much time to recompose himself when you once again took his breath away by simply standing so close to him. Every inhale was just filled with your scent, his heart skipping a few beats as he scanned your face, only a couple inches from his and God did you look even more beautiful up close.
His blush deepened when you reached for his tie, your brows furrowed in that adorable way he'd come to familiarize as you slowly did it for him.
Peter honestly didn't know what to do with his hands, yet there was some sort of pull that he couldn't resist, like an instinct as he gently rested them on your waist. He was distracted by how close you were, but not enough to miss the way your breath hitched at the contact. Testing the waters, he squeezed it gently, biting his cheek to stop his smile from growing when he saw your fingers falter.
But oh did the pride bubble in his chest.
You shook your head, finishing up his tie with a smile. It was Peter's breath that hitched this time when you smoothed it over his chest, your palms flat against the muscle, touch so sweet, skin so warm. You looked up, your smile faltering when your eyes met his.
He didn't know how long you stared at each other. He also didn't know who moved a little closer first, but he definitely wasn't complaining. Not when he was so close that he could count exactly how many eyelashes you had. And he gladly would've if your voice hadn't snapped him out of the trance that nobody could ever put him under but you.
"We should get going," you whispered, but you still lingered for a few more seconds, more than enough for his brain to run its course, thinking that maybe, his feelings for you weren't as unrequited as he thought.
It was the sound of a beeping alarm that broke you two apart.
"Come on, we can't be late," you said after a breath, flashing him a sweet smile before going to grab your things.
"Wait," he cleared his throat, patting around his pockets before finally retrieving a velvet box. You turned around just as he'd opened it, showing you the ring that resided inside.
Your eyes widened, lips opening and closing as you gawked at the sparkling diamond for a few seconds before you met his gaze. "Peter—"
"Oh shit! It's not what it looks like!" he panicked.
Peter did always find himself daydreaming about you often, and he would be lying if he said he hadn't already pictured something similar to this moment. But even he could recognize how many steps he'd basically jumped over by showing you a diamond ring. And as much as he would love to fast-forward to that part, he'd also like to take you out on a date first. Well, if he'd even get the courage to ask you that, anyway. 
"I-uh, you know, us, covering as an engaged couple? So, of course, uhm, you'll need an engagement ring?"
"O-Oh," you fumbled, nodding quickly before you offered him your left hand. "Yeah, of course."
Peter took it in his delicately, fingers running over your knuckles before he carefully slipped the ring on. Squeezing your hand, he reluctantly let go. 
"Did you pick this?" you asked, bringing your hand up to your face, fingers wiggling as you admired the ring.
Peter nodded. "Yeah, I did—well, Bucky helped."
"It's beautiful."
"It looks even more beautiful on you."
Your eyes snapped up to look at him, your smile growing as you hummed, "Charmer."
"It's the expensive suit." He shrugged, a teasing grin with a blush to match.
You laughed that lovely laugh of yours, adoration and pride swelling in his chest.
"Oh, Harley asked me to give you this," you said after a moment, pulling out a familiar pair of glasses before handing it to him. "He said it's all you need to do your magic."
"Nah, it's just a little tool kit I put together, really, kinda like a small computer so nothing magical about it," he chuckled, waving the glasses before putting them on. "It's carbon-based nanotech, passable through metal detectors. I've managed to look up what security system they had installed in the safe and there's sort of a minicomputer inside so it should be easy to bypass the system. I already have the program in here that would run through all the probable security codes so all I need to do is activate the glasses and it would automatically unscrew everything and connect to a hopefully pre-existing female micro-USB slot with the male counterpart in this old thing and—" he paused, face heating up as you gazed at him with a twinkle in your eyes. "What?"
"Nothing, just—you're amazing," you sighed, smile widening before you nodded. "Let's go?"
Peter ignored that way his whole body tingled at your praise and offered you his arm.
Not like it was a new reaction whenever he was around you, anyway.
"Let's."
•••
"Mr. Reid, the car is already waiting for you."
That was the first sentence Peter heard when you reached the hotel lobby. He looked behind him before looking at the man in a suit, pointing at himself in confusion.
"I'm not—"
"Lucas, honey, come on," you cut him off, slipping your fingers in his. You flashed him a knowing smile, squeezing his hand before you tugged him along as you followed the guy.
Right. Fake identities.
"Woah." Peter gawked at the car in front of him, leaning closer to you as he whispered, "Is that a Rolls Royce? Like, the new one?"
"Sort of. It's the Phantom Extended." You nodded with an amused smile. "The best way to blend in with the rich, don't you think?"
Peter was about to open the door for you but then the butler—at least, he assumed that was who he was—beat him to it. So, he opted on helping you with your dress instead, making sure it didn't get caught on anything as you settled inside.
"Thank you, my love," you giggled.
My love.
Peter luckily didn't slip on the expensive lambswool floor mat as he got into his seat.
It's pretend. Get a grip.
Once the car started moving, you pressed a button on the center console, the clear glass that separated the front and back immediately turning into an opaque white, completely secluding the two of you from the driver. He looked at you curiously, nervous—okay, and maybe a bit excited—as to why you decided you suddenly needed privacy. Peter had heard a lot of stories about what goes on in the rear cabin of expensive cars, especially with the partition up, so could it be—
"Did you get to read about our fake identities? The one Sam sent?"
Thinking with the wrong head again, aren't we, Parker?
"I, uhm, no, got too preoccupied with the ring and getting dressed," he admitted, looking at you guiltily. The mission had barely started and he was already messing it up. "I'm sorry."
"Hey, no, it's okay," you reassured with a smile, hand on his thigh, squeezing for good measure. He wasn't able to relish in the warmth of your touch for long as you shifted in your seat, turning around to face him. "I mean, everything is very last minute. I'll just tell you about it.
"Lucas Reid, the young 26-year-old and dashing CEO of Reid Enterprises. You inherited the company at nineteen when your father died of illness," you started.
Peter scrunched his nose. "So, basically, I'm a trust fund baby?"
"Sort of, but you do prove that you did the work," you said. "Company sales skyrocketed when you took the seat."
"What about you?" Peter gestured at your ring, blushing. "Well, apart from being my fiancée."
"I run my own fashion company." You shrugged, winking at him as you added, "Can't be living in my future husband's shadow now, can we?"
Future husband.
God how Peter wished for that to be true.
He shook his head, hands rubbing on his thighs. "Do we have a backstory? Like, as a couple?"
"Not much. Five years ago, we met in Milan during fashion week—"
"Let me guess, sparks flew right off the bat?" he chuckled.
"Love at first sight, obviously," you scoffed, rolling your eyes teasingly.
Not too far off from reality.
"Besides that, it's all the basics from there. Dates, extravagant gifts, and then two months ago, you proposed."
"Right," he started, bumping your knee with his lightly. "So, when's the wedding?"
You laughed, "We're not sure yet. Too busy."
"Of course," Peter sighed, rolling his eyes playfully. "Can't get me out of my office, now can you?"
"I have my ways," you hummed, wiggling your brows at him.
Peter was so sure his face had gone so red.
"You always do," he chuckled shyly, shaking his head before smiling at you. "Can we go over the plan real quick?"
You smiled. "Of course."
Peter knew what to do, obviously. He'd already gone over the plan probably a hundred times in his head. But he simply wanted to make sure he wasn't missing anything, especially something that could potentially jeopardize the whole mission. He couldn't afford even one single misstep, not when you and your safety could be put at risk—and the millions around the world that would suffer if those weapons got into the wrong hand, of course.
"We're almost there," you said once you've gone over the plans twice, eyes scanning across the windows. "It's just on the next turn."
Peter's heart quickened.
He didn't even notice that his emotions had gone evident on his face. Not until you squeezed his arm.
"You okay?" you asked, brows furrowed in concern.
"Yeah! Yeah, of course," he said quite unconvincingly. It was when he heard the ticking of the turn signal did his nerves shift to overdrive, his eyes wide as they met yours. "Shit, I don't think I can do this. I mean, I'm not usually out there with my face showing, you know? And I'm so so so not James Bond, I'm the farthest from James Bond I'm like, Lame Bond. I'm not smooth o-or charming or suave enough to be a spy—oh no. No, no, no, what if they find me out right away? I'm going to mess everything up and this is going to go horribly wrong and—"
"Hey!" you interjected, hands cupping his face, squishing his cheeks slightly as you pulled him closer, eyes boring into his with determination. Peter didn't know if it was the proximity that shut him up, or if it was your scent that overpowered his senses—probably both. "You're going to be fine. You've got this."
He gulped, nodding before letting out a shaky breath.
You smiled reassuringly, thumbs brushing over his cheeks, his skin turning redder with each caress. "Be observant, you don't have to talk. With this kind of crowd, trust me, the quiet ones are the most intimidating. If there's anything you feel like it's a bit off, trust your gut, and let me know, okay?"
"Okay," he breathed out, nuzzling into your palm absentmindedly, finding a sense of comfort from your warm touch.
"And if it gets overwhelming, just follow my lead."
•••
Peter got out of the car, nodding curtly with a tightlipped smile at the driver who opened the door for him.
He decided at the last minute that Lucas Reid was going to be a stoic, passively quiet CEO with a resting 'serious' face that only means business.
Peter straightened up his suit before he offered you his hand, the huge rock on your finger glinting underneath the city lights as your palm met his.
He gently guided you out of the car, helping you fix up your dress before offering you his arm. Your fingers curled around his bicep as you kissed his cheek with a soft thanks. Peter smiled at you warmly, pulling you closer to his side as you made your way inside the building.
Stoic and passive except towards his lovely fiancée, of course.
He might or might not have stumbled upon a few Mobster Spider-Man fanfictions on some website not too long ago. And he might or might not have taken some inspiration from it.
"Please take a basket to put your phones and any other electronic devices in and step under the detectors one by one," one guard instructed.
Adjusting his glasses, he pulled out his newly upgraded phone. It was sponsored by the Avengers obviously since he couldn't exactly rock up with his old, cracked one, with him being rich and everything. He smiled at the lock screen photo—it was of you and him, your lips pressed against his cheek, taken just a couple of hours ago to have photos to make this engaged couple gimmick believable—before he placed it in the basket you were holding up for him.
You smiled reassuringly before you stepped under the metal detector first, Peter following just closely after.
He let out a nervous breath when he saw how heavily armed the guards were. A variation of M17s and a couple of AK-47s were in the hands of fully uniformed men from head to toe. They look like your typical SWAT team, but Peter knew they were more dangerous than that, especially when their morals were as corrupted as he'd presumed.
He was an enhanced superhero, yes, but he sure as hell wasn't bulletproof. And as much as he could probably dodge a few shots, he would rather not take the gamble of finding out exactly how many he could avoid.
That wasn't what he was worried about, though. Because as he felt your fingers slip back into his, he was reminded of how vulnerable and defenseless you were. No superpowers, no bulletproof vests, still an amazing badass who without a doubt could take on two guys in a fight and win, but still a human who could get badly hurt by a simple pull of a trigger.
There were only so many bullets he could jump in front of you for.
"We're going to be fine," you whispered, squeezing his hand as if you could sense his worry. "I got your six."
Peter squeezed back. "And I've got yours."
The two of you stayed close to each other, arms linked as you headed towards the ballroom. But once the huge archway came into sight, you leaned closer to him.
"You go ahead," you whispered in his ear, squeezing his bicep. "I need to go to the bathroom."
Peter nodded.
He knew that some agents had already hidden some of your equipment hours before. Well, he hoped they successfully did, anyway. If not, then, you both might have to compromise.
Peter didn't know what exactly he was expecting when he entered the ballroom but it definitely wasn't as fancy as this.
The ballroom was grandiose in itself with its ornate marble columns and crown moldings, complementing the beautifully impressive murals that covered the ceilings. Even the red curtains that draped along the walls seemed far too luxurious for the mere fact that they were curtains for crying out loud.
Peter had never seen so many chandeliers hanging all in one space, not to mention, ones that seemed to be decked out in gold and crystals…or were those diamonds?
Everything was decorated with a color scheme of cream, black, silver, and gold, from the round tables and accompanying chairs. To contrast were various glass structures illuminated by some kind of light as they glinted and shimmered even from the corner of his eye. There was an open bar in one corner, a long table of finger foods and various desserts, and live music coming from the string quartet on a rotating, circular stage right in the center of a—is that an indoor fountain?
"Wow," you gasped as you appeared beside him, your eyes twinkling underneath the chandeliers. "It's gorgeous."
"Yeah," Peter sighed, eyes trained on the way your face glowed in awe as you admired the space. "Gorgeous."
Your smile brightened as you tilted your head, gaze meeting his. Then, your brows furrowed, stepping in front of him and eyeing the top of his head. "Come here. I need to fix up your hair."
Peter ducked his head without question, hands around your waist as he let you settle the mess of his windswept curls. He found the furrow of your brows absolutely adorable, but the way your tongue slightly poked out of your red lips made him want to just pull you in and kiss you senseless.
You tucked a few short strands behind his ear, gently pressing your thumb into his concha, the earpiece fitting snugly before he heard a faint crackle and then a deep voice.
"Parker, can you hear me?"
"Aye, aye, Captain," he muttered.
He heard a few snickers in the background followed by Sam scoffing sarcastically.
"My, aren't you two cute."
Peter's brows furrowed, confused eyes meeting yours. "What does he mean?"
"I answered the same way," you giggled, shrugging as you smoothed over his tie and buttoned up his suit jacket.
Peter's heart fluttered at that.
"We'll be on the line listening. Be discreet. Only communicate what's necessary."
You and Peter shot each other a look, grins widening into a knowing smirk.
"Aye, aye, Captain."
"Jesus Christ."
The line went quiet, presumably Sam muting their end until further notice.
Peter shook his head, chuckling before turning to you. "So, what now?"
"Scope," you said, waving back at a random woman who was making their way over to you both. You turned to him with a smile. "And mingle."
•••
Peter was so far out of his element.
He was already a terrible liar when under pressure, stuttering and blubbering until he would end up telling the truth. And that was around people he got along with.
Now how was he supposed to make small talk with the rich all while pretending to be rich himself when he clearly was not?
His best course of action? He didn't talk.
It fit well with the persona he'd created, anyway.
He was mostly following your advice—well, more like literally following you around. He was like your trophy fiancé in some way, and honestly, Peter wasn't opposed to it.
You were taking charge, and all he had to do was scope the scene, nod and smile whenever he was acknowledged while mostly speaking only to you.
From an outsider's point of view, he probably looked like such a puppy for his girl, only meeting your eyes, hovering by your side, his attention and touch always on you. A hand on the small of your back, an arm around your waist as he hung onto every word that slipped past your beautiful red-painted lips. For them, he was simply a man completely enamored by his soon-to-be wife. So it definitely sold this whole fiancé gimmick you two got going on.
Then again, it wasn't like he had to pretend that much, either. It wasn't hard to act all smitten with you because he already was. And, okay, he was playing it up a little. Peter would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy acting like you were his and he was yours, even if it was only for a mission.
Other than that, he also quite enjoyed indulging in the food and beverages that were paraded around by the waiters. It tasted so good, so obviously made with high-quality and expensive ingredients, but most importantly free. Could you blame him for taking advantage of it?
He was being an opportunist, he was well aware, which was why he didn't think much about downing the very tasty champagnes they offered, especially when he was free from any consequence that the drink brought—well, one of the consequences.
Because as much as he was immune to the buzz of the alcohol, he couldn't say the same for the effects it brought on his bladder.
It didn't really expand when his abilities got enhanced.
With how utterly gorgeous you looked tonight, it shouldn't have surprised him that the second he left your side, some men in this gala would take his absence as an opportunity to make a move.
He might've been acting like a guard dog, he admits, glaring at anyone who dared to glance at you wrongly. You were "his fiancée" after all, he was simply playing the part of your possessive protective husband-to-be.
That was what he told himself, anyway.
But still, when he came back after his little bathroom break, Peter wasn't too keen on what he saw.
You were talking to some dark-haired man wearing a bold, fully gold-colored suit and an even bolder beard. He didn't look old, but he didn't exactly look young, either. Or perhaps his facial hair played a part in that regard. He was—as much as he hated to say it—well-built and good-looking. If Peter was to guess, he was probably in his early 30s.
The interaction looked innocent enough, and Peter wouldn't have found it a big deal if this guy wasn't eyeing you up like you were a piece of meat.
"Amelia Devonché," the man greeted, his French accent thick, his flirtatious tone, even thicker.
So that's your fake name.
"The one and only," you said, smiling as you tilted your head. "Although I don't think we've been introduced."
"Halbert Auclair," he said, bowing as he held out an open palm.
Halbert? What kind of name is that?
"Pleasure to meet you," you hummed, slipping your hand into his.
"Pleasure's all mine. You look quite lovely tonight, mademoiselle," he crooned, bringing the back of your hand to his lips and kissing your knuckles.
Peter's jaw clenched, an intensely heated emotion boiling his blood, only relaxing slightly when he heard your fake giggle.
He'd heard your real one enough to differentiate the two.
"Why, thank you, monsieur."
Clouded by his emotions, Peter took long strides towards you, swiftly wrapping a possessive arm around your waist and pulling you to his side, kissing your temple and then, without thought, near the corner of your mouth.
Your eyes snapped to meet his, a fleeting look of surprise on your features before you quickly masked it with a smile. "This is my fiancé—"
"Lucas Reid, one of the youngest yet richest CEOs here today," Halbert interjected, offering his hand out to shake.
"Hmm," Peter said with a curt nod, his grip a little tighter when he shook it.
"Man with few words, I see," Halbert chuckled dryly, flexing his fingers once they were free from his hold.
Peter bit his cheek to stop a smirk, pushing his glasses up before slipping his hand into his pocket, looking at you with a much more relaxed smile.
"My fiancé isn't great with crowds. Always stuck in his office, he is. The only thing in his mind is the business, and well, me," you gushed, resting your left hand on his chest, tilting your head to flash him a smile. "Am I right, handsome?"
"Very much so, darling," Peter said, unaware of how his voice sounded. He was still running on jealousy that he couldn't help but gently take your hand from his chest, bringing the back of it to his lips and then kissing the diamond ring on your finger. He smiled at you sweetly as he ran his thumb over your knuckles. "You still owe me a dance, my love."
You blinked a few times, lips parting before you shook your head with a soft laugh, "Oh, yes! How can I forget."
"Have a lovely night, madem—"
Peter didn't even wait for him to finish his sentence as he gently ushered you towards the dance floor, just in time for the string quartet to play their version of Quando, Quando, Quando.
So…he didn't quite think this through.
Peter had no idea how to dance.
His boiling jealousy was quickly replaced with nervousness and dread as you guided his hands, one on your waist, the other curled around yours.
You were so blatantly staring at him that his nerves could only grow tenfold. It was only a matter of time before you realized just how jealous he acted. Hell, he only just realized it after the emotion had left his system. And despite avoiding your eyes, he could still sense it, how you were trying to figure out why he'd done what he just did.
Peter cleared his throat, "Something wrong?"
"Are you okay?" you countered, placing your hand on his shoulder before moving to the music.
He didn't know if he should be thankful or slightly embarrassed that you were the one leading the dance. But then again, there probably would never be a time when Peter wouldn't follow your lead—dancing or otherwise.
He'd follow you to the ends of the earth if he could.
It was working, though, bodies synchronously swaying to the sound of strings as if you'd done this plenty of times before. It was either a testament to how good you were at basically everything—a quick learner, a leader, a teacher and hell, a dancer—or just how well you two complemented each other.
Peter believed it was both.
"Yeah," Peter chuckled timidly, eyes trained on the ground to avoid your eyes and to make sure he wouldn't step on your foot. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"You just seemed…" you paused, hand squeezing his shoulder lightly. "Angry."
Peter blushed.
Jealous. Not angry.
"I'm not," he brushed off, shaking his head. "Got nothing to be angry about."
"Right," you hummed, and it sounded like you didn't believe him at all.
"Did I mess up?" Peter sighed, worried eyes finally meeting your curious ones.
"What? No. You just came off as quiet which isn't a big deal," you reassured, smile widening with amusement. "Where did that South London accent come from, though?"
"Wait." Peter blinked, frowning. "I did an accent?"
"Yeah, you did," you laughed. "Which I didn’t even know you could do."
"I guess I was too nervous to even realize," he admitted, chuckling. "I've been binge-watching The Great British Bake Off lately, maybe I just picked it up."
"So nervousness makes you do accents," you hummed, smiling. "Interesting."
"What?" He narrowed his eyes at you teasingly. "Don't tell me you like a British accent too, like, half the world apparently."
"It's cute," you admitted with a shrug. "But I like your accent more."
Peter blinked. "Really?"
"Yeah, I like the kid from Queens," you said nonchalantly.
Peter almost stepped on your foot. If you weren't a trained spy with quite good reflexes, you might've gone home with a bruised toe.
You shook your head, giggling as you pulled him back to the rhythm of the dance. "You're going to have to keep the charade if you speak to other people, now, though"
"Yeah, didn't really think about that." Peter scrunched up his face, clearing his throat before he looked at you shyly. "I really don't dance."
"Well, you're doing great so far," you hummed, pulling him closer as you wrapped your arms around his neck.
Peter secured his on your waist then, both of you gliding across the dance floor to the symphony of the strings as you held each other's gaze. It was impressive, really, that this was the first time you both danced together, but danced like two spiders spinning their silks in a synchronized choreography to create a large heart-shaped web.
Then, he felt bold, confident.
He didn't know if it was from that same pull from earlier tonight, his senses being muddled by your overpowering presence, your warm body pressed so close against him, or the sweet lure of the music that added something to the air.
Perhaps it was everything all at once.
But Peter couldn't help but lean even closer, the tips of your noses just a hair's breadth away.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered, his gaze fluttering across your face before meeting your eyes.
Peter reveled in the way your smile got shy.
"You've said that already."
"Once will never be enough."
You shook your head with a giggle, eyes twinkling, "And you said you aren't smooth."
"Like I said," he started, lowering his voice, shrugging with a teasing grin, "It's the expensive suit."
Peter's heart warmed at your sweet laugh, that certain pull growing stronger at the lovely sound. He dipped his head, noses touching before he pressed his forehead against yours. He squeezed your waist when your breath hitched, warm and inviting as it tickled his lips, tempting, oh so close—
"Ahem."
You both jerked back, eyes wide with surprise.
"Sam! You've ruined it!" Peter heard Wanda hiss through the earpiece.
"He was finally getting somewhere!" And that was Harley.
Peter's whole face grew hot with embarrassment, squeezing your waist, still keeping you close as he looked away.
He completely forgot about the comms being live and open to everyone back at the compound.
Then again, all of them had been suspiciously quiet until now. 
"Well, damn, I'm sorry? But this is an important mission, not a radio drama?"
"You just had to cockblock—"
"I'm surprised you even know what that means, you white fossil—"
You cleared your throat, smiling at Peter shyly. "Any intel?"
"I think that French dude is our bad guy," he answered swiftly, ready to change the subject or else his knees might go out.
"Auclair?" You raised a brow at him with a smirk. "How so?"
Peter might sound like he had a vendetta against the guy who shamelessly flirted with you. But, he did have a few points to back his claim.
"It's kinda weird how quickly he knew about us. Unless he stole the guest list and researched every single one of the names or he's the host. Also, he really made a point in stating how rich I am. You only do that when you want money for the auction. And if that's not proof enough—" Peter pulled a black and silver playing card out of his pocket, the same one Halbert gave to him during the handshake. "Seven of hearts, well, kinda. It's more arrows than it is hearts. All of them are pointing downward no matter which way you turn it. Look—" He turned the card, an almost holographic effect as the arrows remained south. "That's not how normal playing cards are. So I assume it means downstairs to the secret auction. And we've got about an hour max until it's seven. And if that's not obvious enough—" Peter showed you the back, tilting it to the light to expose the words 'Big Toys, Bigger Guns' in the middle in gold lettering.
"Cheesy, but it works," he finished.
"That's a really good catch, wow," you praised, grinning proudly. "Someone's getting the hang of this already, huh?"
"Watching those James Bond movies finally paid off, I guess," he chuckled, nodding at you. "Plus, I got a good teacher."
You smiled. "Keep a careful eye on him," you instructed, snorting a little when he all but glared when he found the man. You squeezed his slightly tensed shoulders. "Subtlety."
"I don't think I need to be subtle because he keeps eyeing you like he stands a chance as if the rock on your finger isn't big enough. You're my fiancée. So me glaring at some guy with too much beard who looks at you far too long for comfort let alone appropriate isn't out of the ordinary," he grumbled, shaking his head. "Men are pigs I tell you."
"Someone's committed to the bit," you teased, smiling far too bright for it to be innocent. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're jealous."
Peter quickly snatched a champagne flute from the tray when a waiter walked past, handing it to you with a small curtsy.
"You look parched, my darling."
You rolled your eyes but took the glass anyway, your grin telling him that maybe you like the accent more than you were letting on.
But she likes your accent more.
Peter couldn't stop his heart from melting at the thought.
He was also glad that his distraction worked, his jealousy hopefully forgotten as he guided you toward the bar once the song finished.
"Door's unguarded," you murmured against the glass, sipping gingerly before you handed it back to him. "Stay here and keep an eye out. I'll find us a key."
Peter nodded, sitting on one of the stools as he carefully and deliberately followed your movement. Not that he thought you couldn't handle yourself, but an extra pair of eyes will always be better than none. Also, he was being observant of his surroundings, his enhanced senses helping in making sure there wasn't anything suspicious going on, keeping him on high alert in case he needed to jump in.
He watched with pride as you slyly stole a keycard from a gullible enough guard who was too distracted by your flirting. It was an impressively swift sleight of hand that if he wasn't paying attention enough, he would've missed it.
Still, Peter couldn't help but roll his eyes at how stupid and easy these guards tend to be, any focus and rational thought out the window all because of an alluring smirk, a teasing touch and a glimpse of skin—the simplest seduction from one gorgeous woman.
But then again, he wasn't exactly one to talk. Because as innocent as a bright smile from you, Peter would literally do anything you ask him to.
He was far too focused on you that he didn't even realize that someone had replaced your seat, not until he heard his name—well, the fake one.
"Lucas Reid."
Peter turned, eyes landing on a woman wearing a gold dress, curled, long hair framing a somewhat familiar face. Peter wasn't blind, he could see she was objectively pretty. But she simply could never hold a candle next to his gorgeous fiancée—fake or otherwise.
"Greta Auclair," she said with a smile, holding out her hand.
Peter didn't miss the flirtatious undertone in her actions. How could he when she was so adamant on fluttering her eyelashes at him, or the way she wasn't subtle at pushing up her chest, the low-cut top doing so little to hide…it? Them?
Not that he was looking. It was simply in his line of sight.
"Auclair," he hummed, shaking her hand briefly as he tried to make sure his accent didn't sound so forced. He honestly didn't know why he decided to make things harder for himself. "Any relation to Halbert?"
"Twin sister," she waved off, flipping her hair to one side.
Peter nodded without another word, attention swiftly shifting to search for you in the crowd.
"I must say, I've heard a lot of things about you," she hummed as she leaned forward, fingers curling around his bicep, gold-colored, manicured nails glinting underneath the light as she squeezed the muscle. "Apart from being a quiet man, of course."
Peter's resolve faltered a little, the gesture completely catching him off guard.
What's up with this family and overstepping personal space?
"Good things, I hope." He smiled tightly, crossing his arms over his chest, subtly shaking her hand off.
"Oh yes, very good things," she giggled, hand on his thigh as she leaned forward with a smirk. Winking, she added, "Naughty ones, too."
Peter gulped as he leaned back.
"O-Oh, uh—"
"Lucas."
He quickly spun around on his stool to the sound of your voice, facing you fully. His eyes widened in surprise as you gently nudged his knees apart but he didn't even hesitate to make room for you to stand in between. He placed his hands on your hips when you pulled him closer, your arms snaking around his neck.
Peter didn't know exactly what was going on, but he certainly wasn't complaining. Besides, like he said before, he would always follow your lead.
Yet still, he looked up at you in both curiosity and confusion, trying to gauge what was going through your mind. But you certainly were better at reading people than he was. Or perhaps that was you simply being a master at masking your emotions. Because apart from the slight edge on your smile, he was coming up empty.
"You must be Amelia," Greta interrupted.
Your grip on Peter's shoulder tightened, eyes rolling with a scowl before you turned to Greta with a forced smile. "Yes, hi."
Peter's brows raised at your uninterested tone, even more when you didn't even bother prolonging the conversation as you turned back to him, body leaning closer.
Interesting…
"Can you help me find the bathroom?" you purred, tone seductively sweet to match the implication of your words. You pressed your chest against his, faces only inches apart as your fingers played with the hairs on the nape of his neck.
Peter short circuited.
He merely stared at you in awe, blood growing hot, heart pumping erratically as his grip on your waist tightened.
Peter would be lying if he said he wasn't at the least bit turned on.
"Please?" you added with a pout when he didn't manage to speak for a good few seconds.
It was the slight pinch on his skin that snapped him out of it.
"Of course, my love," he said, clearing the lump in his throat as he hastily stood up.
Peter wasn't even given the time to get his bearings straight when you immediately took his hand in yours, pulling him away from the bar and down the hallway. He squinted at the sudden brightness of the ceiling lights, greatly illuminating the cream wallpaper with intricate gold-colored patterns, similar crown molding from those in the ballroom, and various paintings hanging on the walls for guests to admire. The space was obviously still for public access, but it was relatively empty.
Once you two were alone, you didn't bother hiding your emotions. And Peter could clearly tell that you were angry.
It was making him slightly nervous.
"Is everything okay?"
You ignored him.
Peter frowned when pulled your hand from his and put some distance between you. He watched as you tensely opened a metal door, entering in haste without looking back. He ran after you to avoid getting locked out, the two of you entering another much smaller hallway that could only fit one person at a time. It was more of a tunnel, to be honest.
He never liked it when you were upset, especially during a high-risk mission. But most of all, he hated disappointing you, and with the way you were acting, he could only assume he'd done something wrong.
Peter was hot on your tail, carefully watching your every sharp turn, just to make sure he wasn't going to lose you. Though, it wasn't long until you two emerged into a hallway that was similar to before.
You were staring straight ahead, heels clicking angrily as the skirt of your dress rapidly swished with every harsh step.
Oh you were pissed.
"Did I do something?"
"You shouldn't be distracted on the job," you said, tone clipped.
"But I wasn't distracted," he defended, his frown deepening.
"Flirting, distracted, same thing," you scoffed, rolling your eyes. "It's not the time to woo girls. This is not a frat party."
Flirting? Woo girls?
"But I wasn't flirt—wait," he paused, his smile breaking out as realization dawned on him.
He could be quite oblivious sometimes, but he was not dumb. This wasn't going over his head, not when the way you were acting looked far too familiar. He'd seen the same thing happen only a couple of minutes ago, after all.
Because you weren't angry. 
Much like how he wasn't angry moments before your dance.
Peter stopped, looking at you carefully with arms crossed over his chest, smirking as he quoted your words,
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're jealous."
You halted in your tracks, shoulders straightening with a huff before you continued walking.
It told Peter everything he needed to know.
He couldn't wipe off his smirk, pride bubbling in his chest, confidence boosted that little bit more as he jogged after you.
"There's going to be two guards at the door," you instructed monotonously once he reached your side, eyes avoiding him. "I'll distract one. You take care of the other one."
Peter stood straighter with a salute, still grinning from ear to ear.
"Yes ma'am."
You rolled your eyes, but he didn't miss the way the corner of your lips quirked up.
•••
"Excuse me, ma'am, this area is restricted."
"Oh, dear! My apologies, is this not where the bathroom is?" you gasped, and Peter was impressed at how clueless you sounded. If he didn't know you beforehand, he never would've guessed that you'd be one of the most elite and smartest spies there ever was. "Would either of you fine gentlemen guide me to where it is?"
Peter heard the two guards grumble before one spoke up gruffly, "Go. I've got this covered,"
"Yay!" you giggled, clapping your hands excitedly. "Thank you so much!"
Peter couldn't stop his grin at how cute you were.
When you and the other guard were out of sight, Peter made a run for it. Guard Two only caught a split-second glimpse of him before his fist harshly connected with their jaw, wincing when he heard a faint crack.
"Sorry," Peter whispered with a grimace, standing straight and adjusting his glasses. "Didn't mean to hit that hard."
He quickly turned towards the sound of grunts and hisses, fists colliding against muscles and then a body falling onto the floor. He rushed towards where you disappeared, entering the hallway just in time to see you fixing up your dress. Your eyes met his when he walked over to you, your smile sweet yet proud.
"Need a lil help carrying this guy," you said, gesturing behind you.
He nodded with a chuckle, eyes trained on your face once he reached your side before his brows furrowed.
"You got a little—" Before he could think about it, he reached a hand up, thumb rubbing over the corner of your mouth, attempting to get rid of the smudged lipstick.
He couldn't help but stare, easily putting him in a trance as he smoothed his thumb over your bottom lip, pulling it away slightly before letting it plop back, your warm breath tickling his skin when your lips parted.
Your little outburst of jealousy earlier might've boosted his confidence a lot more than he'd initially let on.
"Peter," you murmured. "The guard."
"Oh! Right," he cleared his throat, moving over to the unconscious guard, hauling them over his shoulder effortlessly as if they weighed nothing. He walked over to the second guard, doing the same over his other shoulder. When he turned around, he saw you standing there, brow raised. He shrugged, smirking. "Super strength."
You shook your head, rolling your eyes, "Show off."
Peter laughed.
After carrying both guards into the room—unlocked thanks to their keycards and fingerprints—you busied yourself with their weapons.
Peter was looking through the various crates and boxes, all labeled with familiar and not-so-familiar logos, some in different languages, while others were completely blank. Some items weren't hidden at all, from high-tech guns in glass displays to alien guns in wooden crates, various iterations of vibranium shields, and holy shit, is that a Wakandan spear?
"Where the hell did they get all of these? This is so much ammo in one room—"
Peter's words died in his throat when his eyes landed on you.
You were leaning over, one foot resting on one of the boxes on the floor, your fingers grazing your leg as you carefully pulled your skirt up inch by tempting inch until your thigh was exposed to him. Your gun holster later came into view, the straps squeezing the supple flesh tightly and fuck—
Peter had never wanted to be an inanimate object so badly ever in his life.
He quickly averted his gaze when you pulled your skirt back down. He pretended to read the labels on some crates as he cleared his throat, tugging at the collar of his shirt because Jesus it's getting really hot in here.
"Take this," you said, walking over to him with your hand extended, your fingers curled around the barrel of a gun.
Peter's eyes widened as he looked at the gun and then at you. "We haven't gotten to this part of my training yet."
"Come on, you've seen some movies."
"Since when did movies become tutorials?"
You stared at him for a moment, shaking your head with a chuckle before holding up the gun before him to demonstrate.
"Safety on when you don't want to shoot, safety off when you want to shoot," you said, flicking the pin on the side of the gun. "Cock it only once. It's semi-automatic so after that, all you need is to pull the trigger for continuous shots. Grip with two hands, dominant hand tight around it, other hand on top. Don't try to be arrogant by holding it with only one, especially when you've never fired a gun in your life. Point and shoot, simple. Make sure you aim at the bad guy, though."
You took his hand and placed the gun in his palm, smiling at him sweetly as if you hadn't just given him a loaded weapon.
"Got it?"
Peter stared at you dumbfounded, gulping as he held it to his chest, "That's definitely not all there is to it when using a gun."
"Hey, don't worry," you said reassuringly, squeezing his shoulder. "It's just for precaution. You might not even need to use it."
Peter nodded with a sigh, staring at the gun in his hand before he slipped into the hem of his pants, snuggly kept there by his belt.
Rookie mistake.
"Make sure the safety is on before you put it there, wouldn't want an accident to happen."
Peter froze before he quickly pulled it out, aiming the barrel as far away from him as possible.
He groaned in utter embarrassment when you laughed.
"Can you just carry it for me?" he asked, pouting for good measure. "Please?"
"You're fine," you giggled, gesturing at your leg. "And I only have one thigh holster."
Yeah. I saw.
"I really don't want to shoot myself in the balls," he said, physically shuddering as he screwed his eyes shut. "And I think you're aware of how clumsy I get sometimes."
You laughed out loud, shaking your head as you moved back toward one of the unconscious guards. Peter watched you curiously as you started checking their suits, a faint 'aha!' leaving your lips before you started taking one of their jackets off.
Peter's brows shot up. "What are you—"
"Jacket off," you interjected, showing him a shoulder holster. He did as told as you walked back to him. You helped him slip the harness on, clicking buckles and adjusting the straps before taking his gun and slotting it in soon after. You tilted your head as you smooth it over him. "Better?"
"Much," he breathed out, smiling at you gratefully as he slipped his jacket back on. "Thanks."
You returned his grin, patting his chest before you went and looked for the safe.
Which didn't take too long.
"They could've at least made it inconspicuous, shit's too easy," you scoffed, gesturing at the safe that had a huge American flag on it, stars and eagles, too, as if it wasn't obvious enough. You looked at him with a knowing smile. "Do your magic."
Peter squatted in front of it, taking his glasses off and twisting the nose bridge. There was a soft whirring sound before the glasses turned into a mini, android spider.
Carbon-based nanotech will always impress him. Imperceptible to metal detectors all while never losing its function and durability.
"Of course it's a tiny spider," you muttered, delight laced in your tone.
"What?" He looked at you over his shoulder with a teasing pout, holding up the spider in his palm. "You don't like him?"
You purse your lips, shaking your head before meeting his eyes. "He's cute."
"And hopefully he works, too," he said, turning back to the safe before carefully placing the little guy on the keypad. It took a few moments for the mechanical spider to do its thing. Peter let out the breath he was holding when the safe opened without a hitch. He looked at you with a grin, gesturing at the device inside. "Voilà."
You scrunched up your face. "And that proves that you can't be good at everything."
"Hey!" he gasped. "It wasn't that bad."
"Just leave the French accent alone," you teased, though your eyes were shining with admiration. "But that brain of yours is definitely something else."
Peter blushed, waving your compliment off, "Nah, it's just—"
"Shut up, Parker," you scoffed playfully, but your smile was genuine. "You're incredibly smart and annoyingly amazing. It's not up for discussion."
"Thanks," he chuckled shyly, cheeks turning redder. He gestured at the nuclear football, before looking up at you. "You have the decoy, right?"
"Oh, right." You nodded, reaching into the neckline of your dress before you pulled the rectangular device out, showing it to him with a proud grin.
Peter stared at you, mouth agape.
"What?" you snorted, shaking your head at his surprised face. "I don't have pockets!"
"You could've asked me to carry it."
"I can't exactly bring you with me into the ladies' restroom now, can I?" you said, shrugging. "And I couldn't just hand it to you in the middle of the ballroom with all those people."
"Touché," he hummed, taking the device from your hands. His brows furrowed as he turned it in his palm. "Is it supposed to be warm?"
"It's been with the girls in the past hour or so, of course it's going to be warm."
"Jesus Christ," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head as he tried not to let his curious thoughts wander.
He was failing, though. Miserably so.
Because holding the device when it's been in your boobs made him wonder exactly how warm your boobs would actually feel if it was direct contact, right in the palm of his—
"What?" you asked, none the wiser, briefly. Because then it was immediate, the realization crossing your face, probably noticing just how red his face had gotten. "Oh my god—Peter!"
"Sorry!" he squeaked, hurriedly turning his back on you, focusing on the task at hand.
"My boobs are clean, by the way."
"That wasn't the route my thoughts went to," he grumbled.
"Yeah, I figured," you giggled. "Just wanted to confirm."
He rolled his eyes even though you couldn't see him.
Focus. You got this.
But just as he was about to switch the devices, you moved closer to him, bending over until you were at eye level with the safe, your scent overpowering to the point of being distracting.
"Y/N," Peter sighed, head hanging low as his hand fell onto his sides. "You're making me really nervous when you're breathing down my neck."
"Sorry! Sorry," you laughed, heels clicking as you moved further behind him. "I'll just…step back."
With bated breath yet careful fingers, Peter swiftly switched the devices, blowing out his cheeks in relief when nothing happened.
"Great job, Pete."
He shot you a smile over his shoulder and closed the safe, letting his spider friend reverse its steps before taking him off the safe, pressing its tiny tummy for it to turn back into glasses.
Peter put it back on, running his fingers through his hair before turning to you.
You beamed and held out your palm.
But just as he was about to hand you the device, he quickly pulled it back with narrowed eyes.
"Are you putting this in your boobs again?"
You stared at him in amusement. "I didn't grow any pockets at the last minute, so yes."
"Don't you think it's dangerous?" he reasoned, carefully waving the device to get his point across. "I mean, this is the real thing."
"It's not radioactive," you chuckled. "It's not going to suddenly blow up."
"We don't know that—"
"Hey, don't worry," you hummed, your reassuring smile turning mischievous. "I'll still have my boobs at the end of this mission."
Peter rolled his eyes. "I'm concerned about you, like, as a whole person."
"Yeah, I know, and that includes my boobs."
He groaned, "Is this becoming a thing?"
You shook your head, laughing, "No, no, I just didn't think I'd find out that you're a boob guy, during a mission, no less."
"I'm not a boob guy," he scoffed.
Peter was a you guy, to be honest, as in you as a whole person—eyes, boobs, lips, butt, thighs, everything included.
And personality, obviously.
You laughed, leaning close to kiss him on the cheek, throwing him off-guard that you were able to take the device from him without breaking a sweat.
Peter sighed in defeat.
He really wasn't any better than any of the guards in this building.
"Come on," you called, hands now free, the device properly hidden with 'the girls' as you opened the door for him. "We need to get going."
•••
You both were navigating your way back into the ballroom when the hairs on the back of Peter's neck stood up.
"People incoming," he warned, grabbing your hand as you pulled you down a hallway. His enhanced hearing just about picked up the sound of guns being loaded. "Armed."
"How many?" you asked, your free hand picking up your skirt as you walked even faster.
He tried to listen closely, calculating the footsteps that echoed down the hall sans both of yours
"Four," he confirmed, brow raising. "Maybe Five."
"That's too many. The minute they'll see us, they're going to get suspicious. It's going to be too late for both of us to take all of them down without at least one sending a signal," you rushed, testing out every door down the halls in hopes that you'd get lucky. "We need to find a place to hide."
"Shit," Peter cursed, looking from left to right of the hall. "They're coming from both sides."
"In here!"
He wasn't given much to process your words when you all but grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and pushed him inside a room. The space was quick to grow smaller when you followed suit, your dress knocking over a broom on your way in.
Of course it had to be a janitor's closet.
As if his life wasn't already filled with enough clichés.
Peter grabbed the handle to pull the door close, darkness swallowing you both as it clicked shut. He felt around the metal knob only for his fingers to fall on an entirely flat surface.
"There's no lock," he said, so deathly confused. "What kind of door has no lock?"
"Quiet!" you hissed, pressing your palm over his mouth.
Peter stared at you wide-eyed, his pupils slowly adjusting to the lack of light that he was only now able to gauge just how close you two were.
"Listen," you whispered.
He nodded, closing his eyes as he concentrated on distinguishing the voices.
"The guards have been knocked out."
"Nothing is missing in the room."
"Still, check everything. Be on high alert for anything out of the ordinary."
Peter's eyes snapped open, panic settling in as he heard the footsteps growing nearer.
"Shit, shit, shit!" he cursed, voice muffled by your palm. You removed your hand, eyes confused yet expectant. He explained in hurried whispers, "They're not suspicious of anything being stolen yet but they're coming this way. If we get caught, they're going to immediately find out what we're up to and we're doomed."
Peter watched as your face went through different types of emotions. First, it was worry, a flicker of panic crossing your eyes only to be replaced by something else entirely. The crease between your brows deepened, lips pursed as you tilted your head.
It was that all too familiar thinking face he'd grown to adore.
A second later, your brows shot up, eyes wide, and—if he didn't know any better—twinkling as if a light bulb lit up on top of your head.
"Not unless we make them believe we're just some couple needing a quick fix."
"What?" Peter asked, confused.
You only gave him a sheepish smile and a barely-there whisper of,
"I'm sorry."
Peter wasn't given the time to ask what you were apologizing for when you suddenly grabbed him by the nape of his neck and crashed your lips against his.
He stumbled, his back hitting the shelves. Although the way his head was spinning was definitely not because of the impact.
Peter groaned, kissing you back immediately and with fervor, his hands gripping your waist, head tilting as he pulled you closer.
He shivered when your hand moved down his chest before moving inside his jacket, only realizing that you were slipping the nuclear football between the holster, tugging the straps a little tighter to stop it from slipping out.
Then, you guided his hands, much like with your dance earlier. Yet this time, one landed on your exposed thigh as you hiked your leg against his waist, placing the other on top of your ass.
Peter felt like he was about to faint.
But with every bit of respect he had for you—which was a lot—he still hesitated. 
He was unsure as to how far he was allowed to go, deeply worried to cross the line of no return. He didn't want to make you uncomfortable by pushing your boundaries.
He also didn't want to ruin everything he had with you. Whether that was you being his friend or you being his teammate, he really didn't want to lose any of it.
Peter didn't want to lose you.
"It's okay," you whispered against his lips, probably sensing his inner turmoil. "Touch me, Peter."
That was the last thing that made any sliver of his self-control snap.
He growled, squeezing your ass and your thigh simultaneously, pulling your body flush against his as if you could go any closer.
Your gasp was met by a low groan, your hand fisting his jacket as the other took home in his styled hair.
The door swung open, a momentary stream of light illuminating the tiny room. There was a disgusted growl before the door slammed close, darkness covering you both again but neither of you stopped.
Peter gripped your hips, pushing you back slightly until you were the one pressed against the closed door. He cupped the back of your neck, arm curling your waist as he slotted his thigh in between yours in a desperate need to be inhumanly closer.
Your soft moan just about made his knees buckle.
It also made him feel daring enough to gently tease his tongue against your bottom lip. You let him in with his ease, both of you moaning as your tongues did their own dance inside your mouth.
It was intoxicating.
The faint taste of champagne mixing with the taste of you. 
It was something that Peter probably spent a great amount of time thinking about yet nothing in his imagination ever came close. No matter what his brain had conjured in the past, it could never do you justice.
It was addicting.
Your pretty little sighs in response to his soft groans, how you were everywhere, your scent, your taste, your overwhelming warmth engulfing his very being. Peter was drowning in all things you, the very thing that could make him breathe again.
It was too much, yet he needed more.
You were so close, but not close enough.
Peter's hands glided down your body until he was cupping your ass, their warmth settling on each of his palms. But just as he was about to tell you to jump up into his arms, you placed a firm hand on his chest.
Your lips detached with a soft pop, the back of your head softly thumping against the door. You gasped for air, hands fisting his jacket before you rested your forehead against his.
He really needed to remember the fact that he could hold his breath longer than any average human could.
Peter put his hands back on your waist, fingers squeezing as he nudged your nose.
"Y/N, I—"
"Like you, too."
Peter's eyes widened, head pulling back as he stared at you in shock. Whatever confession he had left his brain, a lump caught in his throat, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as he failed to string any letter into words.
Oh boy he was flustered.
The thought of you, you, someone so confident, someone who is way out of his league liking him back, him, little nerdy, dorky, stumbly old Peter Parker, it made his heart soar.
"I'm a trained spy, Pete, I know how to read people," you giggled when he stayed silent for a few seconds. "It's written all over your face. You really haven't been subtle about it the whole night, either."
"I don't think subtlety is my specialty," he whispered, a shy smile growing on his lips as he pressed his forehead against yours, the tips of your noses brushing in the sweetest of ways.
"It really isn't." You nodded in agreement with a wide smile of your own.
"So I don't think I need to be subtle about this," he started, gaze holding yours. He was nervous, but if he didn't say this out loud, he might just explode. "I'm falling for you."
"You're so cliché," you giggled, his cheeks growing hot, his whole body melting, his heart jumping out of his chest and landing straight into the palm of your hand when you added, "I'm falling for you, too."
"Really?" he asked, surprised yet his voice came out a little shy.
It was obvious enough. The words had been said. But he wanted to make sure because this just seemed like one big lucid dream and he'd actually die if he were to wake up any moment now.
"I mean, I haven't been subtle about it either," you giggled, kissing him briefly yet sweetly, brushing your nose with his as you breathed out, "But yeah, I do. I feel so strongly for you Peter that I just—I feel nervous, I feel giddy, I feel safe and appreciated and I just feel so, so happy whenever I'm around you and I just, whatever I did in the past didn't matter because you accept me for me and I trust that you've got the best intentions, I trust you with my life, and you're just the sweetest most thoughtful and I'm just glad to have known you and—" you paused, shaking your head with a soft laugh, "I'm such a sap."
God this felt like a dream come true.
"I like you being a sap," he chuckled shyly. "But I'm just…me, though."
"Exactly," you confirmed, smile genuinely laced with pride. "You're brilliant, Peter Parker. How can I not fall for you?"
Peter's cheeks were starting to hurt with how wide his smile was, but he sure as hell wasn't complaining.
"You're so way out of my league," he whispered, arms wrapping around your waist.
"I could say the exact same thing to you," you giggled, pecking his lips. "But let's debate about this another time, yeah? We still got some codes to find and a bad guy to catch," you said, turning around swiftly to face the door before he could even have a chance to stop you.
"Wait, don't—" Peter sucked in a sharp breath, his grip on your waist tightening as his face landed on the juncture between your neck and shoulder. Your back was against his chest, bodies pressed up far too close. "—move," he lowly groaned against your skin.
"Oh."
Peter felt his whole body heat up from embarrassment. Because he knew you could definitely feel it behind you. He could hear the fast pace of your heart, and if that wasn't a tell-tale sign, he didn't know what was. And no matter how much he tried to pull away, even just slightly, the small space of the closet wasn't letting him do so.
"I'm sorry, I am so, so, so sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen I—"
He tried to move away from you again, but clumsily elbowed the shelf on his right instead which made a few empty buckets topple over from the top. He quickly pulled you back to avoid you getting hit by the falling cleaning supplies, but in turn, it made your ass press against him a little harder.
"Fuck," he groaned, body going rigid when you gasped. You probably think he was a proper pervert now. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that either. And I tried to control it I swear but it's just—my senses are enhanced and you're so close and that kiss was really hot and you're even hotter and your ass really feels nice in my hands—shit! I shouldn't have said that, I should not have said that. I mean not! Not that it's untrue, it's very, very true. You've got a really pretty and nice ass and I should really shut up goddammit—"
You cut him off with a giggle, head tilting to the side as your fingers reached up, burying it in his now messy brown hair.
"I feel flattered that a kiss got you this excited," you teased, earning a soft whine from him.
"It's not just a kiss when I've been wanting to do it for so long," Peter confessed, kissing your shoulder softly before he mumbled, "And it's not my fault that you're out here looking like a goddess."
"Look at you," you giggled, squeezing his forearm that was wrapped around your waist. "That expensive suit is really doing wonders with your smoothness, huh?"
"It brings out the suave in me," he hummed, grinning. "Makes my eyes pop, too."
You let out a sweet, hearty laugh.
Peter chuckled, heart warming as he buried his face into your neck.
"How about you take this because I really don't want to accidentally drop it," he started, pulling the device out of his jacket and handing it over to you, kissing your shoulder with a deep breath, "And just give me a second to calm down."
You giggled.
But what you said next did anything but help.
"Yes, sir."
•••
It was quarter to seven when you both made your way down to the underground theater.
There were fewer people this time around. Peter supposed it was expected. What, with a secret auction selling dangerous weapons, you simply couldn't hand out invitations like it's free candy. It could land in the wrong hands—well, right hands, in this case.
He fiddled with the card inside his pocket, free fingers pushing up his glasses, eyes narrowed at the guards by the entrance.
"Shit," he cursed under his breath, noticing how they were ushering people into the theater individually. "I think it's a card for each person and we only have one—"
Peter stopped when he found no sign of you.
"You're not supposed to disappear without letting me know," he said through his comms.
He heard you giggle in response, "I was supposed to be back before you even notice."
"Point still stands," he grumbled. "Where are you?"
Peter grinned when he felt a familiar warmth behind him, your arms wrapping around his waist as you rested your chin on his shoulder.
"Hi."
"Hi," he chuckled, taking your hand to pull you by his side. He circled his arm around your waist, brow raised. "Where'd you go?"
You smiled innocently, yet the proud glimmer in your eyes was unmistakable. You held a hand up, a black and silver card pinched between two fingertips.
Always ten steps ahead of him.
It made him want to push you against a nearby wall and kiss the living daylights out of you.
"Now, how'd you get that?"
You winked. "You know I have my ways."
Before Peter could respond, everyone suddenly turned around to the sound of a commotion.
"Sir, you're not allowed without an invitation," one guard said.
"But I had it!" a man with a stark white beard exclaimed, patting around his pockets, "It was here!"
"I'm going to have to ask you to leave, sir."
"Well, you just lost your highest bidder!"
Peter turned back to you, impressed. "You need to teach me how to do that."
"I can't teach you all my tricks—" your laugh died once you walked by a lamp, illuminating both your faces in this otherwise dimly lit entry hall. You pulled him back under the light, your eyes widening. "Oh shit."
"What?" he asked, worried. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, it's just—" you snorted, gesturing to get him to come closer, hand cupping his cheek. "There's lipstick all over your mouth."
Peter blushed, chuckling, "Would it be so bad to just leave it?"
"You look like you just ate a can of tomato sauce."
Peter pouted.
You shook your head with a laugh, thumbs brushing as much lipstick stain as you could. Just when he thought you were done, you cupped his face, pulling him closer to kiss him firmly on the cheek.
"There," you hummed, giggling, "Since you want my lipstick on you so bad."
"It's hot," Peter shamelessly admitted with a smirk.
You rolled your eyes but grinned anyway, taking his hand and pulling towards the entrance.
"Come on. Let's go spend the millions we don't have."
•••
It took a few more minutes for everyone to settle in their seats. You and Peter choose the front-right corner. It was near the stage but not at the center of attention.
As the clock struck seven, the main stage lights lit up. There were a couple of marble statues littered across—for decoration he assumed—and vases filled with wildflowers he could never name. Right at the center was a white podium, a huge projector screen behind it.
Then, a flash of gold appeared on the stage.
Peter immediately knew who they were.
"Welcome, everyone," the Auclair twins said in sync.
"Why is it always evil twins?" he said.
Obviously, he knew about Halbert, he was the one who gave him the card. But he didn't expect his twin sister to be in on it, too. But then again, the guy seemed to be all beauty with no brains.
And no, he wasn't biased.
"I knew there was something off about her," you scoffed, arms crossed over your chest, pout prominent as you glared at the stage. You were starting to look like you were throwing a tantrum. But Peter decided not to say anything.
Yet.
"I think you all know why we've gathered here so I won't bother you with unnecessary semantics," Greta started, waving her hand at the projector, now showing a live feed of the room you broke into earlier. "Any or all of those high-grade toys could be yours tonight, if you're willing to empty out your pockets, of course. But, to lift everyone's spirits up," Greta paused, giggling wickedly as she dug her fingers into the neckline of her dress, procuring the star of the night, and the bane of yours and Peter's existence.
"The Gold Codes and the nuclear football, available for bidding at the end of the night," she purred, waving the card around as if it wasn't one the most dangerous items on the planet. "We have to save the best for last, of course."
"So hiding things in your boobs is a common thing then," Peter said, catching the sour look on your face from the corner of his eye. He was trying really hard to bite back his smirk.
"So you found the codes before anyone else did."
"What?" Peter looked at you confused. "But I didn't."
"You did," you said, jaw ticking. "You just didn't know you were already looking at it."
It took Peter a moment.
"I was not looking at her boobs."
"Sure you weren't," you scoffed, rolling your eyes.
"Darling," he drawled teasingly, playing up the accent, the fire in your glare unmistakable as you met his eyes. He pinched your chin between his forefinger and thumb with a grin. "You've got nothing to be jealous of."
Huffing, you pulled your face off his grasp, "Shut up."
"You know," he started, daringly throwing his arm over your shoulder. You were never one to cross when you were angry. But Peter simply wanted to have some harmless fun. After all, this was the first time he'd ever seen you like this. "I still haven't decided if you're cute or hot when you're jealous."
"Don't tempt me to punch you."
He chuckled, leaning to press his lips against your temple. His smile widened when he felt your whole body relax beside him.
"So, what’s the plan?" he murmured against your skin.
You shifted in your seat, resting your head on his shoulder.
"We wait until the codes and the football are up for bidding," you mumbled. "Then, I'm going to be a show-off, placing a higher bet over anyone while moving closer to the stage. Once I'm in good proximity, cause a distraction and I'll swipe the codes."
"Got it," he confirmed, flinching in his seat when he heard the bang of a hammer.
"Your numbered paddles are under your seats. Now, let's begin."
Peter had only seen auctions in movies, and they always seemed to be the most boring thing ever.
He never expected them to be as anxiety-inducing as this one.
It was probably the fact that these were dangerous and deadly weapons, carelessly sold to anyone who had the money to buy them. 
His heart would sink every time he'd hear that fucking hammer.
Peter was fidgeting with the bridge of his glasses, eyes sharply trained on the stolen Chitauri gun being wheeled off the stage.
"Relax," you whispered, hand on his knee to stop it from bouncing. "We've got backup near the premises. Once we secure the codes, they'll immediately interfere. None of those weapons are getting out of this building."
"They're buying it like it's candy," Peter grumbled frustratingly. "As if lives won't be put at risk if it gets out there."
"Next up, Oscorp's drone satellite," Greta introduced excitedly. "Bigger, better, deadlier than the one by Stark Industries."
Peter's fist clenched. "Why do they always find the need to one-up each other?"
"Egomaniac billionaires," you supplied, hand curling around his fist, bringing his knuckles up to your lips before you intertwined your fingers together.
It helped him calm down a little.
"Things are starting to get boring, don't we think?" Greta laughed, waving around the controller. It was either she wasn't aware of how dangerous the device in her hand was, or she simply didn't care. Her wicked grin told Peter it was the latter. "So how about we do a little test run?"
"Shit," he cursed, sitting upright. "That's not part of the plan."
"You're the faster one," you said, tone calm as you tugged your skirt discreetly and pulled your gun out. "When I give the signal, immediately run towards her and secure codes."
"What signal?"
You stood up, gun raised.
Everyone froze as you shot at the wires that held the scaffolding that was hanging on top of the stage. It immediately gave way, dropping onto the wooden stage and blocking both exits on each side.
Chaos erupted then.
The people running towards the small entryway made it difficult for the guards to get in right away.
But Peter was still staring at you in shock.
"Go!"
He snapped out of it, taking long strides towards the stage, reaching the twins just in time before they could even manage to escape.
"Mr. Reid," Halbert chuckled darkly, pushing Greta right behind him before pulling out a revolver. "You should've bought a gun."
"Well, good thing I did," Peter quipped, reaching inside his holster only to find nothing. He looked up, eyes wide. "Shit. I dropped it."
"Oh my God—" Peter heard you groan in disappointment, and he could practically hear that eye roll.
He would've found the time to be embarrassed if Halbert hadn't started shooting at him. He dodged every bullet easily. His enhanced reflexes paired with how inaccurate this guy's aim was, it wasn't really much of a challenge.
And no, he wasn't showing off.
Okay, maybe a little bit.
Peter couldn't stop his chuckle when he heard the familiar clicking of an empty cylinder.
"Well, looks like I didn’t even need one," he bragged as he stalked towards Halbert, yanking the gun out of his hold before hitting him on the side of the head with the butt of his own gun, rendering him unconscious. He turned to Greta with a mocking tut, "Your twin isn't the wisest, isn't he?"
"No," she scoffed, smile widening as she glanced over his shoulder. "But he bought us time."
Peter saw the entryway clear of civilians, the armed guards swiftly invading the theater.
"Shit."
A flash of red caught his eye, your sharp heels clicking rapidly before you slid on the floor, picking up the gun Peter dropped. You knelt on one knee, gun in each hand, aiming it toward the guards and raining hell on them motherfuckers.
You didn't miss a shot.
He shook his head in awe, "And you said to hold it with two hands!"
"I've fired guns since I was twelve!" you said, tilting your head to throw him a smirk. "I think I can be an exception."
How could he argue with that?
Peter swerved to the right, heart thumping as the glint of a knife covered his periphery. He grabbed their wrist, pulling him forward in one swift motion and throwing the culprit towards the seats.
"Who brings a knife to a gunfight?" he huffed as he kicked away the knife that fell out of their hand.
Peter's attention got stolen by your growl.
His eyes landed on you just in time to see you grab a man's forearm from behind, using all your body weight and the right momentum to throw him over your shoulder, a pained scream when you undoubtedly dislodged his arm, the knife clinking onto the floor. You kicked the guy on the head, his eyes rolling back as he turned limp. You stepped on the knife's handle to fling it into the air, catching it with your left hand before flipping to your right, holding your skirt taught before cutting a new slit on your skirt. Then, you spun, red dress flowing with the motion as you kicked the guy running towards you on the side of his throat.
If Peter wasn't in love before, he sure as hell was now.
"What?" you panted when you caught his gaze, brows furrowed.
"That was so hot," Peter breathed out, your eyes rolling for the umpteenth time before they suddenly widened.
"Down!"
He ducked as you threw the knife, the blade soaring past him and landing into the guy's shoulder, the gun that was aimed at Peter's distracted ass dropping onto the floor.
He looked back at you in absolute wonder.
And did his pants grow a little tighter?
"Will you marry me?"
"Jesus—focus!"
"Is that a 'no'?!" he called out teasingly, elbowing one guy on the chin before hurling his unconscious body toward his allies. He called it the bowling move. Taking a gun from the floor, he turned to you with a pout. "Can't believe you'd reject me, babe!"
"Kinda in the middle of something here!" you yelled back, shooting a guy on the leg before knocking him out with the butt of your gun. You stood straight with a deep breath, tilting your head with your lips pursed before nodding behind him. "How about you help me get those codes first?"
Peter turned, seeing Greta dragging her twin towards the side exit.
"Oh yeah, right," he chuckled sheepishly before going after her. "My bad!"
Fully catching him off guard, Peter flew forward and landed on his chest when Greta swiped his legs. He rolled onto his back, narrowly avoiding the six-inch heel she dug into the floor where his head was supposed to be.
"So you can fight," he breathed out, doing a kip up to get back on his feet.
"I bite too," she hummed, winking. "And I've been wanting to sink my teeth into you, pretty boy."
"Uh, thanks?" he chuckled dryly, face scrunched up. He swerved the knife she threw at him, looking back only to see she got two more, one on each hand. He sighed, "Great. You throw knives."
"What?" she asked, tone mocking as she flipped one in the air, catching the blade in between her fingers with ease. "You don't like knife play?"
"That doesn't sound like fun," he grumbled, running towards her, swiftly ducking as she kicked her leg before grabbing her by the ankles.
Greta fell on the floor with a thud, yet she was quick to kick his knee with her other foot, Peter hissing as her sharp heel dug into his skin. She used this slim window to pull her leg forward, dragging Peter with it and making him land right on top of her.
"Quite a handsome face. Maybe we can go out for dinner sometime," she purred, running her tongue over her lip as she traced his jaw with a knife, sharp tip teasing his throat. "The real party happens later in the night, of course."
"Yeah, no thanks," he breathed out, pulling his head back and quickly grabbing her arms, flipping her onto her stomach in one swift motion. Peter pinned her down using his body weight as he knocked the knives out of her hands. He pulled her wrist towards her back, his knees tight on either side of her hips as he sat up. Holding her wrists with one hand, he undid his necktie with the other, tying her up securely before letting go.
"Kinky," she huffed out a giggle.
Peter rolled his eyes, pulling her up by the shoulders until she was seated on the floor. He walked around, dusting off his suit and adjusting his glasses—they got sticky tape on the sides to not let them fall off during fights. He thought about this ahead, thank you very much—as he stood in front of her.
"I guess it's true what they say about the quiet ones," she said, head tilted as she shamelessly ran her eyes down his body before meeting his eyes. "You're a different kind of man, Lucas Reid."
"The name's Parker," he said with a deep voice as he buttoned up his jacket with the utmost seriousness on his face. "Peter Parker."
You scoffed loudly.
Peter immediately spun, his landing eyes on your figure standing behind him, your jaw tight, arms crossed over your chest, a scowl on your pretty face with that fiery glare to match.
Oh you were pissed.
But Peter had a feeling it wasn't at him.
"You've been itching to do that the whole night, have you?"
"Maybe," he chuckled.
You rolled your eyes, nodding towards Greta.
"Just take the codes."
Peter stared at you like you'd grown a second head.
"What?" you asked, voice taut, so clearly getting annoyed.
"You take the codes."
"Why can't you do it?"
"Because I respect women?"
You blinked a few times before dropping your head with an exasperated groan.
"What? You know where it's hidden!" he exclaimed in defense, gesturing towards the bound woman. "I'm not just slipping my hand in there!"
"I have a feeling she won't mind," you muttered to yourself, but thanks to his enhanced hearing, he heard you loud and clear. "You've practically been humping each other."
Peter decided to keep quiet, scared that you'd actually punch him this time.
Though the glare you shot him was proof that you knew he heard you.
You shook your head, another eye roll before you walked over to Greta, bending at the waist until your face was level with hers.
"Let’s make this quick. Left or right?" you asked.
"Dégage, salope," she hissed.
You gasped, hand over your mouth in feigned shock. "Now, that's not nice."
"Wait, what did she say?" Peter asked as he stood by the sidelines, not too close but not too far. He was giving you the space to do your thing.
"She called me a bitch," you cooed, pouting condescendingly. "Fine. Since you don't want to make this easier for us—"
Before Peter could even question what you were about to do, you stomped on a knife, catching the handle mid-air and straight up slashing the blade in front of Greta.
"Woah!"
Peter downright expected you to have chopped her whole head off—okay, maybe slit her throat because the knife wasn't that big.
But nothing happened.
No chopping, no slicing, no blood, nothing.
Well, not until a split second later when Greta gasped, the top half of her—really expensive, he assumed—dress sliding down her body.
Peter looked away immediately, face hot as he screwed his eyes shut, turning his back on her for good measure.
"Jesus Christ, Y/N," he muttered, taking his glasses off to rub his face with his palm.
But he couldn't wipe his smile off.
Peter knew you could take the codes without having to cut her dress. You were simply being petty. And it was safe to assume it had something to do with the way Greta had been shamelessly flirting with him for the whole night.
Your jealousy fed his ego a little bit.
"You can look now," you said, tone low. "She's covered."
"Are you sure?"
You scoffed, "It's not like you don't want to see it, anyway."
Peter swiftly turned, only catching a glimpse of Greta now wearing Halbert's jacket with the matching gold tie gagging her mouth.
He immediately turned to you who was standing to the side, looking anywhere else but at him. He walked over, rubbing up and down your arms until you uncrossed them. He pulled you closer by the waist, nudging your nose while mirroring your pout.
"Don't be mad."
"I'm not mad."
"Then why did you do that?"
"I had to get the codes."
"Yeah, but it didn't have to involve boobage exposure."
"Boobage exposure," you snorted, the corner of your lip twitching as you finally met his eyes. "I feel like that's something you enjoy."
"I didn't even look!" he defended, his smile widening when you tried your best to hide yours. "I promise. I didn't want to, either."
You shook your head, sighing, "You're such an annoying dork."
"Your annoying dork."
That made your smile appear.
"My dork, huh?" you hummed, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.
Peter smiled, pulling you closer, tip of his nose brushing yours. "Well, if you'll have me, that is."
"Have you as what, exactly?"
"Your boyfriend," he said, slightly surprised by his own boldness. But then again, you two had already established what you felt for each other. The fear of rejection wasn't there anymore. Shaking his head with a smile, he added, "Wait, answer that on our date this Friday?"
"Love the newfound confidence, Agent Parker," you said, giggling. "And yes, to both questions,"
"I really like the sound of Agent Parker," he hummed, wiggling his eyebrows at you. "Am I a certified spy now?"
"Eh, if you don't drop your gun next time, then sure."
"Come on," he sighed, pouting. "I could use a name change, you know, like Spy-Dork-Man."
Peter burst out laughing when you physically cringed.
"Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't kick you because of that god awful pun."
"Because I'm your dork now, bad puns included, so you're going to have to get used to it from early doors."
"Touché," you laughed.
Peter looked at you adoringly, but just as he was about to kiss you, a sudden ruckus of applause made you both jump, stance on defense reflexively.
It was the team, right in front of the stage, clapping and wolf-whistling like a bunch of assholes.
Peter groaned, hiding his face in the crook of your neck as he wrapped his arms around you.
"About time you two solved this…tension you have," Wanda said as she reached the stage, gesturing at the two of you before she held her hand out to Bucky. "Hand it over, Super Soldier. She technically kissed him first,"
"Maybe I shouldn't have held Sam back from unmuting the line in the closet," Bucky sighed, pulling out his wallet and handing over twenty dollars.
"You had a bet?" you gaped at the two of them.
Peter turned to Sam. "You tried to interrupt us again?"
"I wouldn't have to if you guys didn't constantly forget that your comms aren't reserved for the two of you only," the Captain chuckled.
"You guys were so cute, though," Wanda said with a smile.
"The smooching sounds were a bit much." Bucky grimaced.
"Don't forget the abundant talk about boobs and ass," Harley laughed, appearing from behind everyone with a bag in hand. "Good thing you finally grew those balls though, Parker. I've grown really tired of hearing you whine about your obsession—sorry, I mean, crush on her."
"Shut up, man," Peter groaned, burying his face back on your shoulder to hide.
"Leave him alone," you laughed, rubbing his back in comfort.
"I wished I could've hacked the cams earlier so it would've been like watching a James Bond movie meets rom-com live," Harley said. "But the audio was good, popcorns still definitely enjoyed."
"Lives were on the line and you guys enjoyed popcorn," you deadpanned.
Sam laughed as he patted both of your backs. "Nah, we just knew you two got it handled."
"What are you guys doing here then?" Peter countered, glaring at them.
"Clean up," Wanda said, cracking her fingers before adding, "I also need to erase your faces off of people's memories because blowing your covers wasn't exactly part of the plan."
"And this guy practically gave out his real name," Bucky chuckled, patting Peter's shoulder before moving over to the unconscious men lying on the floor.
"I couldn't let the opportunity slip!" Peter protested. "It's probably going to be my only James Bond moment, I had to take it."
"That was pretty stupid," you said, scrunching your face at him with a laugh.
"I know that now, thanks," he grumbled.
"Here." Harley tossed him his web shooters and mask, and Peter felt a sense of comfort as he snapped them onto his wrists.
"Pete, you think you can swing us home?" you asked, slipping your fingers into his.
"Yeah, of course," he chuckled, squeezing your hand. He could definitely get used to feeling your affectionate touch constantly.
"Right, we're going to leave this to you guys, now bye!" you called out before you all but dragged him towards the exit, Peter's groan and your laugh echoing down the hall when Sam yelled,
"Use protection!"
•••
You both were honestly too tired to even attempt and continue what started in the closet.
Well, you did try to.
When you landed back at the compound, you both decided to go to your separate rooms and take much-needed hot showers first. But getting to your quarters in itself probably took around ten minutes, all because Peter simply couldn't help but stop every couple of meters down the halls, pressing you against the nearest wall to kiss you senseless.
It took you shutting the door on his face for you both to finally wash off the sweat and grime of the day.
After he was all cleaned and clothed, he didn't waste any time making his way out of his room. But when he opened the door, you were already standing there, fist in the air, mid-knock.
Peter chuckled as he grabbed your waist and pulled you into his room, giggles and satisfied sighs bouncing off his walls as his lips covered your own. He grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you with ease, a murmured comment from you about him showing off his super strength as he carried you to his bed.
But the second you both hit the mattress, it was simply far too comfy and soft that the intense heat of the kiss gradually simmered into a mellow warmth. His body was covering yours, fingers intertwined, lips moving slowly, lazily yet just as sweet. 
And after a few more moments of you two languidly kissing, you ended up settling with cuddles for the night.
Now, here you were, being the little spoon with your back pressed against his chest, limbs tangled, bodies warm and snug under the covers. He was drawing lazy circles on your stomach, his eyes growing heavier with each rise and fall of your chest, the steady beat of your heart lulling him.
Peter thought you were already fast asleep. And he was just about to follow suit until you spoke up,
"Are your hands cold?"
"Not really," he murmured, voice a little rough. "Why?"
"You can always use my boobs in case you need to warm them up."
He groaned, burying his face onto your shoulder. "Are you ever going to let this go?"
"What?" you giggled softly. "You just seemed so interested in their warmth earlier. I'm allowing you to quell your curiosity."
Peter lifted himself a little, just so he could get a clear view of your face.
"Is this a genuine invitation for me to cup your boobs?"
"Only if you wanna," you said, turning to him with a soft smile, eyes half-lidded. "No playing, though."
He nodded with a laugh, settling behind you and gently sneaking his hand under your shirt, no pressure or anything so that you'll be able to move away whenever you wanted to. Then again, you were skilled enough to break his wrist, anyway.
But you didn't do that, not at all.
Instead, you shifted in your place, providing more space for his arm to fully wrap around your torso until he was cupping a boob in his hand.
You sighed, body melting into the mattress even more, your back warmly pressed against his chest as you nosed his pillow.
"They are really warm," he hummed, his whole body relaxing as he let his hand just…be there, without any malice whatsoever. "This is oddly comforting."
"Yeah," you mumbled, a loud yawn following suit. "Like stress balls."
Peter chuckled, "That's one way of describing it."
You hummed, yawning out a soft, "Good night, Pete."
Peter smiled. "Good night, angel."
The next response he got was your soft snores as you finally drifted off to sleep,
Peter didn't expect his night to end with you sleeping in bed with him, all cuddled up in his arms, let alone, with him cupping your boob—which he surprisingly found comforting and adorable rather than anything else.
But he did expect to fall asleep with a huge smile on his face.
And then later in the morning, the thing that would wake him up wouldn't be the sunlight anymore, it'd be your warmth, tickling his skin as you cuddle closer to him. A tired, yet satisfied smile would curl on his lips as he would bury his nose into your hair, breathing in your sweet scent. It was much more comforting, hearing your little snores and sighs, or even your occasional mumbles about whatever it was you were dreaming about.
It was new, but definitely something he could get used to.
It was going to be a peaceful Sunday morning with you, and Peter really loved that.
✫*゚・゚。.★.*。・゚♛ *.
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hype-blue-fixation · 2 months
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Pt. 1/2 | The Purest Kind of Entertainment | SFW Tickle Fic [RadioRose QPR]
I wanted to make a tickle fic and the plot thickened. If you want to skip this introduction/plot then here's the second part.
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Sitting around the TV to watch different programs had become the typical night time activity. Charlie begged Alastor for weeks to take his turn sharing a “picture show,” to which he constantly made up polite excuses to let someone else go instead. But tonight the princess of Hell would be fancied something different.
“What in Heaven is this?” Angel barely lasted 5 minutes into the program before he showed annoyance for it.
“I told you before, it is called the Queen's Messenger. Very historical and groundbreaking for its period. Without this, Voxtech would never exist.” Alastor raised a brow, holding back his impatience behind a smile.
One by one, the others dropped off to sleep. Utterly bored with the outdated and slow-paced presentation. Even Charlie could barely keep her eyes open at the halfway point. When it finally ended, Alastor hummed at all the sleeping bodies. Silently irritated that they couldn't even bear 40 minutes of his favorite picture show. That was until Angel flittered his eyes open. “I didn't fall asleep. Are you proud of me, Smiles?”
“Mildly, I suppose.”
“Also I got a question,”
Alastor's ears pricked to attention.
“I just find it weird that the first thing you show us is an old romance slideshow. Surely the great Radio Demon don't have a soft spot for that sappy stuff, right?”
A disgruntled sigh came as Alastor turned the TV off and tiptoed his way around the sleeping demons. “History is history, my effeminate fellow. If something else were to be made first instead, I would have played that.”
As he went to slip off into the unknown, Angel followed in his distorted shadow. “I've got another question!”
The radio demon rolled his eyes. “If you must.”
“Do you ever think about sex?”
The question was both expected and unexpected at the same time. “Heavens, no.” Alastor instinctually replied.
“Then what do you do to bond with people you love? Kisses? Cuddles?”
“I've never met someone who interests me in that way, so none of the above. If we are discussing friendships, a benevolent game of cards and a night out at a bar never hurt anyone.”
Angel's eyes flickered to the snoring Husker. He knew very well how card games turned out in Alastor's book. Perhaps the topic really was hopeless. Perhaps Al really was a psychopath demon with no chance at anything beyond Hell. “I see. Goodnight, then. Don't be gettin too spooky out there.”
A hum of relief came from Alastor as he found the spider demon leaving. Finally some peace. A short lived peace. It wasn't too long before questions began filling his head.
“How do I show love to the people I care about?”
“Shut up, I don't love anyone.”
“Oh, but you do! Isn't she the reason you want all this power to begin with?”
“It's a lost cause. Everything I'm doing is for me, now. Hell is forever and I've earned it.”
“But what if that darling Charlie is truly onto something? And there are people here that you love too, yes? Do you ever let them know that?”
The inner dialog could have gone on and on in painful bouts of excuses and rebuttals, unsorted feelings that he preferred to keep repressed. When he began feeling this way, there seemed to be only one person in Hell that could set him straight.
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konnorhasapen · 1 year
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When Darlin' was up in Washington they made a small group of friends they'd do stupid stuff with a lot. One of those things ended with a knife being stabbed through a coffee cup and the cup never broke. They all dubbed said coffee cup "Knifecup." Truly groundbreaking. When Darlin started staying with Sam more often than their own place, they decided to finally introduce him to Knifecup.
Darlin': I wanted to bring something to leave here for myself, if you're okay with it.
Sam: Of course.
[Darlin' pulls out the cup and sets it on the counter with a smirk]
Sam: You wanted to leave a coffee cup here for yourself?
Darlin': What? Oh, sorry, you can't see it at that angle. [Turns the cup]
Sam: ...what is that?
Darlin': Knifecup!
Sam: And you've been usin' this?
Darlin': No. No, you um.., you shouldn't drink out of it. Kevin drank out of it when we first made it and he was sick for like two weeks.
Sam: What's on the knife??
Darlin': A cup.
You can find the short fic I wrote about the story behind Knifecup here!
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lizardboy66 · 16 days
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im deeply bored so here are all of my gay 911 thoughts for your entertainment.
OKAY SO
Idk about 911 being queerbait guys...i dont think it ever was. I think we have entered a new era of fanservice. Usually with queerbait, the creators and people involved in the show are quite vicious to shippers and queer fans generally, and any easter egg or "moment" feels like crumbs to keep us hooked enough.
911 acknowledged the shipping very very early. Like second half of season 2, and there has never ONCE been a joke at the expense of the concept of being gay, or about buck or eddie being queer. It was simply a nod, like "hey, we get it, you want it, thats all good."
Its not 2010 anymore, gay people are accepted and visible in a way that has never been a reality in the past. In fact, gay people, especially gay men, have come to be understood as a fantastic marketing tool.
This is where i get jaded and cynical, but listen the outcome is the same so stick with me here. Gay pairings and relationships = money is not a groundbreaking concept. It's why they did queerbait. But with stuff like supernatural, it seemed like a far greater risk to make the repressed men kiss than to piss of the queer fanbase. But times have changed. But since the age of queerbait, there has been a rise in gay romance content being made, and being made FOR the fangirls, boys and theys. Think Red, White and Royal Blue, or Heartstopper, or Young Royals, or Our Flag Means Death, or Good Omens. Gay isn't a risk anymore, its a marketing category with a level of guaranteed success. And not just in the global north, Boys Love content has been booming in places like Japan, Thailand, Korea for decades, but never more than now. TV companies in these places figured out very quickly that producing fluffy, comforting gay love stories earns them billions, and have not hesitated to seize this opportunity. My point being, gay dudes sell as fuck.
911 got cancelled and had to move networks. The budget is too high and they need to pull viewership and quick. I think their answer is canonise that ship! I couldn't tell you if that was there original intent, but i do believe that it would be far less lucrative to fuck over their viewer base. I could be wrong, this could be a crazy long game to make the fans trust the show, then pull the rug from under them. But i truly think we are past that point with shows like this.
911 is pure fluff! No one ever dies, if someone is hurt they recover quickly and with no complications, conflict is tame and easily resolvable, and everyone is a sickeningly good person. And the show is also about family, found family, unconventional families. I think originally, the unconventionality of the eddie, buck and chris family dynamic was that it is two men who are not together or married raising a child as coparents and friends. Which is a great story, but even better fanfiction fodder.
I think they are going to do it like the fanfiction. It's the easiest way to bridge the epistemic gap between the current cannon and the reality of both buck and eddie being queer and having feelings for each other. they could try and explain it in their own way, but the fans have already done it, and have clearly agreed on some elements of how this love story plays out, so i think that will be the route they go down. Currently my evidence is that Buck is now canonically bisexual. For some reason a lot of the ships people have have one bisexual and one gay, so the trope is being realised. My next piece of evidence is the catholic thing for eddie. This has literally never come up, its a fan invention, and its in the show now. The eddie and marisol plot line is slightly bizzare, but i think the reason for that is that it is eddie making sense of why he struggles so much to commit to the women he dates. Or its just a bad storyline and isnt very coherent. I guess we will see. My next evidence is the whole set up of Tommy. He is so clearly a way to push eddie and buck together in my opinion. From his introduction, he acts as a wedge between the two that neither of them can make sense of. Very love triangle energy. And my last evidence is all of those goddamn interviews. It seems no one can shut up about these fire fighters getting it on with each other. I feel if they weren't doing it, there would be more effort to shut down the clowning gently, as they have done previously.
In conclusion, i too am a clown. My theory has rocky foundations, a rocky middle and an equally rocky conclusion. I am so tired and delulu right now. I'm with you girlies, this is stressful.
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youvegotmetoblame · 2 years
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i keep coming back to episode 4 whenever i see discussions about Ed’s mental state. because the subversion of everything izzy tells us about Ed, while not groundbreaking, is so beautifully executed over the course of the episode
when we truly meet Ed, we’re supposed to be intimidated by him. we’ve only seen him in glimpses, either in the shadows or striding out of the smoke on the Spanish ship. and while he watches stede sleep, he’s quiet and contemplative. only breaking his vigil to tell Lucius to count backwards. which honestly came off as a threatening power move of sorts. like, do as i say and get out of here or else. no real rhyme or reason, just trying to scare him, right?
but when he meets the crew, when he finally talks to stede, he comes off as a little silly. kind. fun. compassionate. he’s ecstatic over the fact Buttons is a bird guy. fascinated by stede’s eccentricity and the auxiliary wardrobe. casual and cool and excitable about stuff like model ships. watching the clouds and finding funny shapes in them. and then of course he asks stede if he wants to do something weird
the bit with the wardrobe change really drives home what izzy is saying at first. oh, he’s distracted. oh, he’s just messing around. he never takes it seriously. he’s flighty. unmanageable and hard to work for. this little role play seems totally out of left field and like they’re just wasting time when their lives are in danger. the Spanish are coming! so of course izzy is mad!!
but then izzy’s argument unravels so beautifully in one scene. Ed asks Stede “what is Blackbeard going to do?” because that’s who stede is playing at right? Lucius strides back into frame and suddenly his counting down comes into sharp, terrifying focus. they’re out of time. stede doesn’t have a plan. he holds everyone’s life in his hands and THAT is what Ed is dealing with on an every day basis, not izzy. the crew is looking to blackbeard, now stede, and he’s failed them by not taking it seriously
but Ed has. the entire time. he used Lucius as a timer. the clouds to tell the weather. he was well aware of what would happen with the fog based on the date and the sky alone and knew how to save them before anyone even brought the threat to his attention. all of these little idiosyncrasies and quirks purposefully and masterfully sprinkled throughout the episode, leading to this moment where we realize the brilliance he was capable of the whole time. he makes one mistake with the leap year. but then in a scene that’s a testimony to where their relationship will go, he works with stede in a way he never could with izzy to hatch a backup plan. leads stede and the rest of the crew through it and even gives them positive feedback to boot
and then, of course, the final scene with izzy. i’ve seen a lot of talk about how Ed never had a plan to kill stede, he comes up with it to placate izzy. but i don’t think that’s true. he asks stede to swap clothes right after stede introduces the idea of retirement. we’ve just learned how fast Ed’s brain works. he says to izzy what if they found a body about the same size as mine, but unrecognizable? burned and mangled? what better way to find a match than trying on their clothes? do i think he was ever going to follow through, especially with his murder related trauma? no. you could already see the regret in his eyes. but i think he thought he could convince himself. oh the fire or someone or something else will get him, not me directly. and then, of course, a fateful boat party, a scrap of silk, and a spark of hope tucked gently into his chest. he was history
all of this to say: the writers took an entire episode to prove how wrong izzy was. to show how capable, competent, and confident Ed is at his job. they introduce us to a scary storybook blackbeard to turn that narrative on its head multiple times and give us a picture of the full, complex man. is he bored? sure. doesn’t care what happens to him? absolutely (don’t even get me started on the guess i could try dying of it all. honey, that’s suicidal ideation). it’s too easy and he needs excitement. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t take it seriously. so WHY do white fans keep insisting that we should feel sorry for izzy and that he’s just doing his job and taking care of Ed? 
izzy being surprised by Ed’s capability lets us know he’s unreliable. acting like he does all the work (even though he failed at his job 2 episodes in a row) and needs to keep an eye on Ed who is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. the writers use this episode to show us this is BULLSHIT. so even when Ed becomes the Kraken, we know from all of this previous context they’ve given us that he’s perfectly in control. he’s wrong and he’s heartbroken and he’s hurting. but he knows what he’s doing and it sure isn’t izzy who’s going to knock any sense into him
izzy wants power. he wants Ed to show a semblance of instability so he can jump in as a toxic white savior and take the credit for the legend of blackbeard he’s played very little part in. start questioning why people chose to take the white man’s narrative at face value when he’s proven wrong time and time again. and next time you see someone going on about how izzy is so right about Ed needing him as a voice of reason, go back to the text and see what the writers intended that voice to say
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aylinaliens · 1 year
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what bl do you recommend for someone who never manages to watch more than three episodes of the bl series out there, doesn't like super cheesy romance so the thai white-shirted boys don't work, doesn't want too much hot and heavy stuff so kinnporsche doesn't work, doesn't want pointless second hand embarrassment, doesn't want sexuality discovery, doesn't want women constantly trying to break the couple, wants to laugh a little but doesn't want a comedy, a bl for someone very picky who just wants to have a good time honestly. i've tried a lot of bls but all of them seem like the same thing over and over. i'm almost hopeless in finding a bl to watch and i'm asking because the way i see it you're quite the expert on the area
Hello anon!! I feel your pain :( I was in like a year slump when it came to BL because everything seemed to mesh together. It can feel hopeless but you just have to find that “one” to pull you in. Unfortunately, it sometimes takes a lot of trial and error. I went through and complied a list of BL that hopefully you haven’t tried seen before. But definitely try to experiment with BL from different countries because each country has different “niches.” I really hope one of these works for you though <3
He’s Coming to Me (8ep x 75min || Youtube)
In this short supernatura Thai romance BL, a young man (Thun, played by Ohm Pawat), tries to help a kind ghost (Mes, played by Singto Prachaya) figure out the mystery behind his death. As they work on unraveling secrets, discovering betrayal, and navigating life (slash the afterlife), Mes and Thun fall in love. If you like your BL to be heartwarming & wholesome (but not too sweet it’ll give you cavities) with a dose of angst give HCTM a try. *HCTM is still one of the most underrated BL out there. It does have a tad bit of sexuality discovery but it’s handled in a very nuance and beautiful way.
History 2: Right or Wrong (8ep x 25min || Viki)
One of the more underappreciated additions to the HIStory series, History 2: Right or Wrong gives us a BL about a divorced single father and a college student. It has found family, age gap (done in a healthy manner), and wonderfully fleshed-out characters. If you like a more mature romance that isn't heavy on the Kinnporsche-level steamy skinship, domestic fluff that actually has a plot, and characters actually going through character development I highly rec History 2: Right or Wrong.
GAYA SA PELIKULA/Like in the Movies (8ep x 30min || Youtube)
Gaya Sa Pelikula came out during the Great Wave of 2020 PINOY BLs and it still holds its stop as my #1 BL during that year. I know you want to avoid sexuality discovery but I still had to include this for the simple fact that it's top-notch. Gaya Sa Pelikua is about Karl and Vlad, two different people from two different walks of life who ends up living as housemates for awhile. Karl is suffocating under the pressure of his family while Vlad is getting over a breakup. They intially don’t get along but as time goes by they help each other actually live rather than just going through the motion. If you like your BL to be packed with emotion and to actually discuss LGBTQ+ issues in a frank manner please go watch this. I know you dislike coming out stories but Gaya Sa Pelikula is one of the best of the best of the BL genre because it’s so much more than that. 
Not Me (14ep x 45min || Youtube)
White and Black (both played by Gun Atthaphan) has a close connection but are seperated when they are children: one stays with their mother in Thailand while the other moves to Russia with their father. Years later, White returns to Thailand after Black is viciously attacked and sent into a coma. Since his brother hung around with a ‘sketchy’ gang, he decides to pretend to be his brother to find out what truly happens. This is a BL that is not solely focused on romance (although the romance that is shown is wonderful). It’s groundbreaking because it’s not just a silly college BL: it discusses real issues that are happening in Thailand today such as corruption, inequality, politics, etc. If you like your BL to have complex/layered characters & plots, give Not Me a try.
Ghost Host, Ghost House (8ep x 57min || Youtube)
This recent Thai BL is about Kevin, a live-streamer who is passionate about ghost hunting. He ends up moving in with some relatives who end up being ghosts (irony) and meets Pluem. Neither of the protags are ghost but this does dish into trauma and grief. However, it’s not super angsty or anything like that because the natural chemistry between the characters is solid. This is more of a character driven BL but that’s what makes it so good. We get to learn about all the characters and connect to them, which makes it painful when you have to say goodbye (but don’t fear, again, the two protags are alive). If you like your BL to be a bit eerie and heartwarming at the same time give Ghost Host, Ghost House a try!!
Triage (13ep x 44min || AIS Play)
In this time loop romance BL, Tinn is a doctor who, one day, finds himself repeating the same day over and over. Since he fails at saving one of his patients, Tol, the only way to stop the time loop is to actually save him. Mature BL that doesn’t focus on high school kids or set in college are honestly the way to go. The plots are meaty and just because the characters are older that doesn’t mean that super steamy skinship is required. I just started this yesterday so I’m not finished but so far I highly recommend it. Again, if you like BL that isn’t solely focused on romance please give Triage a try!!
3 Will Be Free (10ep x 50min || Youtube)
3wbf is not really a BL but it’s going on the list because it’s criminally underrated. Without giving away too much of the plot, 3wbf essentially gives us a canon poly relationship between a stripper, the son of a mafia boss, and a gogo bar manager. It gives us a trans character who is not played for laughs and has a legit powerful plotline complete with romance. Everything about 3wbf is top tier. From the acting to the plot to the characters to the cinematography.
Blueming (11ep x 14min || IQIYI)
Blueming is a well loved BL for a reason: it’s amazing. Despite being short, it manages to tell a coherent and interestig story. It’s not just a silly romance, it’s intimate and talks about heavy things like insecurities...yet the audience does not get weighed down with angst. If you like more nuanced or quiet BL that focuses on characters are indiviuals themselves, their family relations, and their relationship as a couple do give Blueming a try!
To My Star 1 & 2 (9ep x 15min || Viki)
Two polar opposites: a famous actor who is going through a rough patch meets and falls for a young chef, end up falling in love. This has a second season which I didn’t watch yet but I still heard good things about it. If you like the cohabitation trope and want to see two wonder characters blossom as individuals go check this out!
Old Fashion Cupcake (5ep x 25min || Viki)
Once again, BL that focuses on adults in the workplace are top tier. Old Fashion Cupcake follows 39-year old Nozue who is just going through the same motions in life. He ends up falling in love with his subordinate at work who is ten years his junior. Old Fashion Cupcake feels like being wrapped in a big blanket as you munch on your favorite comfort food. It’s soft and lovely and genuinely amazing. The way these characters build each other up. If you like realistic BL and character driven stuff, give this short JBL a try!
Cherry Magic (12ep x 24min || IrozukuSubs)
I won’t lie to you, Cherry Magic is mostly fluff but I had to include it. In case you have yet to give this a try, please do. The premise is bonkers: Adachi is a 30 year old virigin who gains the ability to read minds when people touch him. He ends up finding out that his coworker, Kurosawa has been pining for him for years. Do you like your BL to have respectful, wonderful, and relatable characters? Do you like to occasionally turn off your brain and watch something that is silly but full of heart? Cherry Magic proves that sometimes you don’t need an elaborate plot to be interesting. You just need sweet characters and an even sweeter romance. *Cherry Magic also has a few specials + film out!!*
Here are some other BL I recommend but do let me know if there are any other certain genres you like/dislike! This is not my full list, just the ones that avoid the things you dislike. ** are the ones that are some of my top favorites
I Told Sunset About You
Bad Buddy**
Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice but to Kiss
Semantic Error
Light on Me**
Manner of Death**
Papa & Daddy**
Vice Versa**
My Tooth Your Love
A Tale of A Thousand Stars**
You Make Me Dance
Be Loved in the House: I Do
We Best Love: No. 1 For You
History 2: Crossing the Line**
Utsukushii Kare
Something in My Room
Dear Doctor I’m Coming for Your Soul
Given
Long Time No See
Fukou-kun wa Kiss Suru Shikanai
Where Your Eyes Linger
Amerio Paradox** 
The New Employee** 
Choco Milk Shake**
HIS**
Kinou Nani Tabeta? (What Did You Eat for Dinner Yesterday)**
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sidewayspeace444 · 8 months
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I must say that it's very telling how The Irksome Queen have go out of their way to not call out Albert and Jasmine's constant thirst for attention and baiting fans. They keep reiterating that it's CE's fans that continue to give them attention, deliberately being obtuse and skipping over the point. This does NOT change the fact that two full-grown adults are constantly spending their days intentionally trying to upset the fan base. The fan base that made Albert's so-called "fiancé" rich and famous.
Then the fans call them out, every time and somehow the fans become the bad guys for not wanting to be messed with nor ised as pawns. They scared away such a large portion of his fan base with all of their hate and antics like the true energy hounds that they are. Now, they have the AUDACITY to taunt the loyal ones who are still choosing to stick around despite all of this nonsense. Hmmmm...almost like they're destroying him on purpose. ???
What's the matter, Albert? We all know that you read up on all of the MANY(and I do mean many) tarot readings between tumblr and YouTube with almost all of the readers letting it be known that he doesn't want you. I guess now, knowing his secret thoughts you're out for revenge. You were never gonna be chosen and readers have hammered that in, over and over. I guess you figured that if he didn't want you you'd go out with a bang, huh? Sweet revenge, I suppose? Sneakily destroy him while you're still around for the PR shit show? Leave a mess before you go run off to hop on the next wealthy d*** that you hope will bring you attention? I'm sure you'll bring bad luck and energy to the new guy as well. Little girl is truly cursed. The Gods and spirits are truly never in her favor. It shows in all that she does. Notice everything she touches turns to ash? Not sure how one can be so dead set on their own demise. It's simple. You continue to put out bad energy and the universe will put that right back on you! Isn't she soooooooooo spiritual? She should belief in this stuff, right? She should believe in Karma.
Any other woman with dignity and self-respect would have just took the "L" and moved on ages ago. She didn't get the attention she so desperately seeks. She didn't get groundbreaking roles. Chris doesn't want her. The fans never gave her the praise she was hoping for. Why not just end the facade and move on with your life? How much longer are the Portu-Potty crew planning to troll and be sly, childish and petty on the internet? Aren't they tired? We sure as hell are! It's been almost TWO YEARS. The plan didn't work. Nothing's going to change at this point. The fans have already seen what they needed to see about them. LET IT GO! MOVE ON! GO AWAY! LIKE, FAR,FAR AWAY!
Imagine if the two of them put as much effort into their craft as they did in a bunch of strangers on the internet who they swear they're better than? They might actually be booked and busy and receiving the abundance that hard work gives you. Such losers! All of this carrying on just for it to end(and it will end. This, we all know. Including her.) with them having gained nothing. Little girl has been losing weight, losing pigmentation in her skin, losing hair, rapidly aging and isn't even happy! But at least after all the stress and strain this trainwreck has put on her mental and physical form(and Chris's too) these two years,at least she and her actual soulmate, Jasmine have spent that whole time going out of their way to piss the fandom off. That's all they can say once it's finally over. They've only proved the fandom had justifiable reasons to dislike their energy from the jump. They proved the fandom right! But according to Irksome, the mEaN oLd fAnS are the problem. Just the fans, not the Nazis. Shit's embarrassing.
👌👀
Yeah I never understood why so many certain fans aren’t speaking up about the trolling. Instead, they’re adding to it with the most bizarre scenarios. Now lately it’s because his stylist is in MA, where her husband is originally from, and her in laws live. It’s almost like they get a thrill out of nonsense themselves so they want to rile up the fan base as well.
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Currently thinking about a nation-wide Spider Olympics where the Spider-Man of each state competes to see who will be victorious. Also thinking about how that Spider-Man would then move on to the Continental Spider Olympics, then eventually the winner of the Continental Spider Olympics would enter the World Spider Olympics where the best Spider-Man from each continent will compete for the title of Golden Spider, Silver Spider, and Bronze Spider. These three will be the rulers of the League of Spiders until the next Spider Olympics, which happens quinquennially.
What does this have to do with Avatar, you may ask? Not a thing until you consider the possibility of a League of Spiders that has been forced into hiding, hunted and hated now after a war that went down many generations ago (this is obviously far into the future). The glory days of the Spider are long past, and they have changed quite a bit. Neytiri’s only memory of her people’s greatness lies in what few tributes to their glory remain standing. Enter Jake Sully, an ex-marine who’s been stuck in a downward spiral ever since returning from the front lines. One day he’s brought out of his misery when two agents seek him out to alert him to the fact that Tommy, his twin brother—and passionate advocate for the study of the Spiders (which, in this universe, is used far more for the people than the actual arachnid that is said to have given them their abilities)—has been killed.
Of course, they’re not telling Jake this in person out of the kindness of their own hearts. Tommy was working on some groundbreaking shit that only Jake would ever be able to help complete. He was working on a way to replicate the (by this point) almost mythical spider venom rumored to have given the first of the Spider-men their abilities. The only problem is that this venom replicate is far from the original and therefore cannot be used at random but instead must be catered to a specific set of DNA for each person who injects themself.
These scientists are called Hosts, and their main thing is getting out into what few pockets of Spiders are left and learning about them—or at least that’s how it’s painted. Really, the people who are funding these scientists just want the silks created by the Spiders, which are stronger than any other material on the planet, along with their blood so that they can begin finding out how to recreate the silk for themselves.
Jake, eager to make the money needed to acquire a pair of permanently working legs, accepts with little moral pondering. He soon learns that Grace and a portion of the other scientists, like Norm, are truly passionate about the Spiders. The venom that Jake and the scientists inject themselves with is temporary, and Jake learns the first day that as long as he has it in him he can walk.
Cut to him and Neytiri meeting for the first time. She contemplates killing him before receiving a sign from Eywa in the form of a baby spider that lands on her arrowhead (it was floating on one of those weird spider baby parachutes). She then follows him, showing herself only when he’s in dire need of saving, yada yada, we know the drill. Another sign, Tsu’tey shows up, all that good stuff. Jake is allowed to stay and learn the ways of the Spiders. He learns about hunting and all that jazz, but most of all he learns about Eywa, the mother who spun the world from her web. Eywa preaches balance, give and take. A fly lands in the web, you eat it, but you do not senselessly kill the fly that does not.
Anyways, they fall in love and all that, big war, etc. Fast forward to the events of the second movie. Regular humans and the Spiders have been at war for going in almost twenty years and Spider is his father’s magnum opus. Bitten by the first successful spider created by the malicious sector of the scientists after the originals died off centuries before, Spider has had it drilled into him that the Spiders are the enemy and has been trained to use the abilities involuntarily given to him to be nothing short of a killing machine. He is hardly himself—even his nickname (that has long since become the only name he can remember ever having), “Spider”, was given to him as a way to constantly remind him of his purpose. What will happen when he encounters the Sullies on his first ever mission? Will he work to uncover the glory of the Spider’s past or will he continue in the legacy of the Spider hunting present?
For fun I also picture:
Spider whisperer Kiri who has an unsettling connection to actual spiders. The Na’vi respect spiders for obvious reasons and the tsahiks use them regularly when communing with Eywa, but they can’t understand them like Kiri can.
Expert shot Neteyam who’s “thing” is his extremely heightened spidey senses (more so than usual) just because why not. I like the idea of him being in a constant state of inner panic because of how utterly overwhelmed he is without being able to admit it, and then in strolls Spider with his control over his heightened senses that has been ruthlessly beaten into him. Am I sensing a romantic subplot?
A Lo’ak who, admittedly, is mostly just there for the vibes because I haven’t thought that far ahead I’m literally thinking this shit up as I type.
An adorable Tuk who is also just here for the vibes at this point. Huh, this got away from me. Originally this didn’t even have anything to do with Avatar tbh. Feel free to add your own thoughts lol.
WHAT A COMPLICATED WORLD although I admit I am lowkey dying at the idea of just, everyone being Spider-Man on this world. Like, it would be on Earth, so they're like an indigenous Spider-Man species lol. Like it's fucking funny. I love the little spider floating in on a web parachute, that is adorable. I always get sad at aus where Spider didn't grow up with the Sully's, I know it's just another means to an end, but they are so essential to each others character growth in my opinion. The fact that they are childhood friends is a foundational building block to me, and it's always so sad to me when it can't be included. I love the idea of brainwashed Spider and Neteyam who's overwhelmed by his senses working together to figure out what sweet spot works best. What learned methods Spider has that are far too harsh and are holding him back, and how Neteyam can learn to let go.
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