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javierpena-inatacvest · 4 months

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Chapter 18: Hole in None

Summary: During your bridal shower, Steve takes Javi golfing. When they return, the way Javi is acting has you questioning everything you knew about your relationship.

Word Count: 12.1K (getting back to my roots of a short chapter LMAO)

Warnings: SMUT(18+) unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up irl pls), oral (f receiving), creampie, praise kink, breeding kink (if you squint?), makeup sex and getting caught (The Murphy's will never catch a break) ANGST (I'm so sorry!!), Hurt/comfort, Javi being super insecure, you being confused as hell, Steve being an absolute idiot

A/N: HELLO. IT'S ME! I DO EXSIST! I am genuinely SO sorry that this chapter has taken a million years to happen. December has been so busy and I have had no time to write, so I really, really appreciate all of your patience 🥺 This is a lil different than any other chapter we've had so far in the NTL universe, it's a lil angsty-er than normal but ya girl only believes in happy endings so don't fret!!! Also poorly beta'd bc I have the stomach flu and I am 100% there are mistakes in this chapter that I'm sure I missed 🫠

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“Do I really have to do this? This thing hasn’t even started yet and I’m already exhausted.”

“Yes, Hermosa, I do think that most people do expect the bride to be at her own bridal shower.” Javi laughed, staring into the bathroom mirror as he ran his hands through the dark curls of his hair, fixing them into place as you stood next to him, finishing the rest of your longer than usual makeup routine to prepare for being the center of attention against your will for the next several hours.

It wasn’t that you weren’t grateful that your co-workers wanted to throw you a bridal shower before your wedding, now only a few weeks away- the sentiment of the whole thing was incredibly thoughtful. Your 3rd grade teammates had even found a way to get in touch with your family to make sure that your mom, aunts and cousins felt included in the event, too. You should have been thrilled about the fact that the people who loved you most in the world were coming together to celebrate your upcoming wedding and quite literally showering you with gifts, but if there was one thing you hated more than anything else, it was the social exhaustion that came from having a party planned for no one but you.

You had really tried to convince Maria, Estelle, Linda, and now, your mom that you didn’t need a bridal shower- your wedding was going to be small, and since you had already been living on your own, there weren’t a lot of things you needed as you started married life together. Unfortunately, neither of those arguments were going to stop those ladies from going all out for you, leaving you feeling like your bridal shower was turning out to be even bigger than your actual wedding.

“Don’t you think I could just get a cardboard cutout of myself and use that instead? All these ladies love to talk so much that I don’t think they would even know the difference.” You sighed, giving yourself a once over in the mirror before putting away the rest of your makeup as Javi snuck behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, planting a soft kiss into your shoulder as he pressed his chest against your back.

“I have a feeling that someone would notice.” Javi chuckled, a soft grin spreading across his face as your eyes met in the mirror, his smile and sweet eyes enough to calm your nerves for at least a moment. “I would definitely notice.”

“Well that’s easy for you to say, you don’t even have to be there.” You huffed, letting a little pout fall from your lips as Javi playfully shook you in his grasp, trying your best not to smile as you tried to keep up your unenthused facade. “It’s not too late to trade. You can go to the bridal shower and I can go golfing with you and Steve.”

Even though Javi had insisted he was more than happy to stay at the shower with you, Maria had insisted that Javi find another way to spend his time so the spotlight of the day could be on you, and not him being distractingly handsome to everyone else there. Lucky for Javi, that meant extra time to spend with Steve while Connie was at your shower- not so lucky for you that Maria had banished your future husband from attending an event for your own wedding.

“I honestly may have to take you up on that. Steve must have needed an ego boost when I let him pick what he wanted to do while you and Connie were at the shower because he knows I can’t golf for shit.” Javi’s overdramatic sigh and roll of his eyes was enough to make you break into a little giggle, turning your head enough to press a quick kiss onto his cheek before reaching your hand under his chin, giving his jaw a little jiggle. “It’ll go by fast, Osita, I promise. And then, when we get home,” he paused, pressing another kiss into your shoulder and up towards your neck, digging his fingers a little tighter into your sides as he rasped into your ear, “I’ll take as much time as you want to destress you.”

“As much time as I want? Bold of you to assume that the dog is gonna give us that long.” You snickered as a happy Bear trotted into your bathroom right on cue, his tail loudly thumping against the bathroom cabinets from his happy wags as he wedged himself between you and Javi.

The newest furry member of your household had been a well loved addition, but if there was one thing Bear had no concept of, it was privacy. Your dog had become a constant shadow to you and Javi anywhere and everywhere in your house, including your in your bedroom, even when you were, well, not sleeping. It hadn’t helped that Javi had already formed such a soft spot for Bear, and had let him on your bed from the moment he stepped foot into the apartment, and now, your dog and his clingy personality had become a new obstacle to try and navigate in your sex life.

“Someone needs to tell his dad that he’ll survive if he gets left out of the bedroom for a half hour, huh? That he’s adorable, but that he can be a little cockblock, can’t he?” Squatting down next to Bear, you wrapped your hands around his face, scratching behind his ears as you mockingly serenaded him, raising an eyebrow at Javi.

“He just sounds so sad when he whines and he’s trapped outside the door.” Javi grumbled, kneeling down to join you, patting Bear’s stomach, now much thicker and fuller than it was a few weeks ago after you had first brought him home, skinny and neglected from his lack of care from his previous owners.

“You say trapped like we're kicking him out to the streets when we close the door on him. He’s adorable and sweet, but he’s a dog, Jav, he’ll be okay.” You smirked, playfully scolding Javi as you peppered Bear’s head with kisses, making his tail thump even harder as it wagged back and forth. “Tell your dad you’ll be just fine, won’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” Javi groaned, knowing damn well you were right, even though he couldn’t bring himself to admit he had become an absolute softie for your new dog. “Alright, Hermosa, we gotta get you to this shower before Maria yells at me for making you late.” Pushing his hands against his knees, Javi let out a little grunt as he pushed himself back up to stand, checking the time on the silver watch wrapped around his wrist.

“Wow, so eager to get rid of me, you must really be excited to go get your ass kicked in golf.” You teased, now following suit and straightening out your dress as you stood, throwing your arms around Javi’s neck, pressing up on your tiptoes to plant a little kiss on his lips. “Sure you don’t want me to golf for you?”

“I’m sure, you dork.”

After Javi had insisted on giving Bear more than his fair share of treats before the two of you left for the day, you were on the road to Maria’s, Javi insisting that he drop you off, instead of letting you take the treacherous 2 minute drive by yourself. As you drove down Maria’s street, you couldn’t help but smile at the memory of walking up to her house for an end of the school year party almost exactly a year ago. A party that had ultimately turned a handsome stranger from the Laredo Sheriff's department into your future husband, now sitting in the driver’s seat on the way to your bridal shower. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself at the irony, leaning your head over onto Javi’s broad shoulder as you pulled up to Maria’s house.

“What’s up, Osita?” Javi asked, a twinge of confusion in his voice at the content and calm of your demeanor as the two of you arrived at the event that you had been seemingly dreading for days.

“I just- It was probably a year ago to the day the last time that we were at Maria’s house. Crazy to think that a year later we’re getting married and here for my bridal shower. I don’t know, a year ago I never would have thought I would have met someone I love so much, let alone be getting married, building a house, owning a dog, I- I’m just really happy that the department made you come to do that stupid presentation. You’ve made this year the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you, Jav.”

A tender silence hung in the air as Javi leaned over the center console, gently bringing his palm to cup the side of your face, his thumb tracing circles along your cheek, letting his sweet brown eyes lock with yours as a soft smile spread across his face. “I love you too, Osita.” His words barely left his mouth above a whisper, bringing his lips to yours. The two of you could have stayed like this forever, lost in the moment of your love for each other, but unfortunately, the world had other plans.

“JAVIER. DIOS MIO. CAN YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER FOR 3 SECONDS?” Maria shouted, banging at the driver’s side window, the aggressive thumps of her hand against the glass making the two of you practically jump out of your skin.

“Jesus Fucking Christ….” Javi whispered, clutching his hand over his chest, trying to steady his heart rate back to normal, the two of you looking at each other in pure terror.

“If you’re going to drop her off and make a scene in my driveway, the least you can do is help an old woman out before you leave, Javier!” Maria demanded, still rapping her knuckles against the glass, the two of you trying to keep from dying of embarrassment as you exited out of the car.

“Sorry Maria…” The two of you grimaced, still trying to avoid direct eye contact with her before she decided to scold you more.

“Chucho is right, you two are no worse than a pair of teenagers. Come on, we only have an hour before everyone arrives and I need you and that wildly blonde haired boy to help me move chairs.” Shaking her head in disappointment, Maria was already halfway up the driveway and into the house as you and Javi trailed behind her, glancing at each other in confusion as to who she was referring to, until you noticed the Murphy’s car parked on the side of the street, realizing that Steve and Connie must have beaten you there.

Before you even had a chance to make it a foot into the house, you were greeted by an overbearing swarm of people rushing to say hello and give you a hug, already feeling overwhelmed 30 seconds into the start of your shower, and these were all people you knew. Your mom was the first to make her way through the crowd, squeezing you in a death grip hug, even though you had just seen her last night after picking her up from the airport and dropping her off at her hotel.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe the day is almost here! My baby girl is finally getting married! Ugh, you look beautiful sweetheart!” Your mom beamed, planting a chaste kiss on your cheek before making her way over to Javi, squeezing him just as hard. “C’mere, don’t think that you get to escape hugs from me too, Javi.” Javi looked over at you, trying his best not to laugh at everyone’s dramatics, knowing how stressed you already were, and that no one’s overly excited attitude was doing you any favors.

“Ouch on the finally there, Mom. What do you need help with?” You asked, noticing that your mom had been holding on to Javi for a touch longer than what was probably appropriate while everyone else continued to hustle and bustle around Maria’s house.

“Does he always smell that good? God, I wished your father smelled like that, the man smells like a sweaty sock. Javi, what kind of cologne do you-”

“Mom! Jesus Christ.” You interjected, burying your hands in your face.

“Sorry, sorry! Honey, you don’t need to help with anything, it’s your shower!” Your mom swatted her hand at you, shaking her head in disbelief that you would ask to help, even though she knew better than anyone it was not in your nature to sit back on the sidelines and let other people do the work for you.

“Why don’t you come help me set up decorations?” A soft voice replied behind you, making you whip your head around as their hand rested on your shoulder.

“Connie!” You grinned, throwing her arms around her, relieved to find someone who wasn’t going to drive you absolutely crazy for the next hour of party prep. “It’s so good to see you, thank you so much for coming!”

“Hey, Sweetheart!” a lower voice grunted from behind a stack of folding chairs making its way to the backyard.

“Wow, Maria put you to work too, Steve? Yikes, she’s running a tight ship around here.” You and Connie snickered as Steve set down his stack of chairs, revealing his already sweaty and frustrated face, considering Maria had probably made him carry 6 trips worth of seats up and down the stairs since he and Connie had arrived.

“You’re tellin’ me. Hey, make yourself useful and pick up some of these chairs, lazy ass. Sooner we get this set up, the sooner I kick your butt at golf.” Steve smirked, gesturing over at Javi, still standing in the doorway with his hands on his hips.

“In that case, I’m taking one chair at a time.” Javi sighed, pressing a quick kiss to your temple in stride towards Steve, giving him a swift hug and a pat on the back before being interrupted by a shrill and demanding voice.

“JAVIER. I HEARD THAT. IF I DON’T SEE YOU WITH A STACK OF CHAIRS IN YOUR HANDS THE NEXT TIME YOU’RE OUTSIDE, IT’D BETTER BE BECAUSE YOU ARE DEAD.” Maria shouted from across the house, making everyone’s faces freeze in fear.

“You heard the woman. Chop, chop, Peña.” Steve chuckled to himself before passing off half of the chairs over to Javi, and walking towards the back of the house as Javi picked up his share, begrudgingly trailing behind Steve.

“Alright, we should probably get to work on decorations before Maria finds us standing around for too long. I know you’re the bride, but I have a feeling that holds very little value to her until everything is set up.” Connie shrugged, nodding towards the backyard where the shower was being held.

“You’re definitely right, and I would prefer to live through my bridal shower in order to make it to my actual wedding.”

With all of the helping hands around the house, and Maria’s commanding dictatorship over shower setup, all of you had finished with time to spare, leaving your mom and co-workers to happily chat and gossip amongst themselves as you and Connie found your way to say goodbye to Steve and Javi, one of whom was looking much more excited about departing for golf than the other.

“Have fun, ladies. Any last words for your future husband before I absolutely obliterate him on the golf course?” Steve snickered, giving Javi a soft punch on the shoulder.

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi groaned, rolling his eyes as he braced himself for the next 3 hours of harassment from his former partner.

“Don’t be too hard on him, okay Steve? He gets grumpy when he loses, so just a reasonable amount of ass whooping, nothing too drastic.” You teased, now playfully punching on the other side of his arm, you, Steve, and Connie laughing to yourselves at Javi’s fed up frown.

“Says the one who literally pouted for hours after insisting we play "Sorry" and then she lost.” Javi smugly murmured, raising an eyebrow at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well someone wasn’t very sorry about it, were they… You know what, Steve? I changed my mind, go ahead and kick his ass for me.” A mischievous grin grew across your face, bursting out into giggles as Javi flung his arms around you, giving you a squeeze and shaking you in his grasp.

“Pendejo. Alright, you need anything else before I go get my ass kicked, Hermosa?” Javi asked, pressing a kiss into your hair. You were about to speak, but stopped yourself for a moment, looking Javi up and down, admiring how handsome he looked in the khakis and navy blue polo he had picked out this morning. You’d been so worried and worked up about the day that you hadn’t really had a chance to get a good look at him until now, and God, part of you wished you hadn’t taken the time to really take it all in as he stood next to you. You knew there was nothing you could really do about it now, but that wasn’t about to stop you from at least getting a little taste.

“Uh yeah, I uh- actually um, I uh, I scraped my finger earlier on one of the banners I was setting up and I think I got a papercut. I forgot to ask Maria about it earlier, but um, can you show me where the bandaids are upstairs again?” You tried your best to sound as casual as possible, but Javi knew just as well as you that there was no way in hell that you actually needed a bandaid. His brow scrunched in a slight confusion, head cocked to the side as if to say “I think I know where this is going and I’m not really sure it’s going to work” before giving you a little shrug, gesturing up towards the bathroom at the top of the stairwell, trying to keep his smug grin hidden between his lips.

“Yeah, I uh- here, let me show you where they are and I can get you one before we go.” Before Steve or Connie could even muster a word in protest, Javi was already dragging you halfway up the stairs, barely letting you make it to the top of the stairway before closing the bathroom door behind you.

“Band Aid, really? That was the best you could come up with?” Javi laughed under his breath, letting his hands roam down your sides and under the hem of your dress as his fingers dug into the meat of your ass, the heat of his breath tickling your skin where his lips met your neck, gently sucking at your pulse point, making a tiny moan escape from your mouth.

“I needed to come up with something to get you alone for long enough to give you a proper goodbye before you left.”

“And a Band Aid was the way to do that?”

“Oh shut up.” You giggled, draping your arms over Javi’s neck, letting your hands roam through the curls at the nape of his neck before pulling him in tighter to let his lips crash into yours with an electric intensity, his fingertips gripping deeper into your flesh.

“I don’t think-” Javi muttered between kisses, “I don’t think a bandaid is gonna buy us enough time to do anything, Hermosa.”

“I know. I just needed this. Just needed to kiss your stupidly handsome face. I needed something before you left me to fend for myself. Plus,” you paused, pulling back to see the lovestruck grin spread between Javi’s cheeks, “only fair that I get a chance to recreate our first kiss.” You snickered, gesturing to the interior of Maria’s bathroom, where you had found yourself with Javi almost a year ago to the day, your lips meeting for the first time as you sat on the ledge of the sink after Javi had came to your aid when a shattered beer bottle had landed in your leg.

“Fuck, I forgot our first kiss was in Maria’s bathroom. Real fucking smooth of me, huh?” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes at his past self for letting your first kiss be in the bathroom of his Mom’s best friend’s house.

“Smooth enough for me to wanna marry you, so I guess it all worked out okay, didn’t it?” You teased, planting one last kiss on his lips before shooting him a wink and slipping out the bathroom, your face warm and tingly from the rush of excitement tucked away with Javi in your impromptu makeout session. Javi ran his hand over his face, taking a moment to try and compose himself, shaking his head to himself in shock and delight at how he found himself falling more and more in love with you every day.

“Okay, uh- sorry, sorry about that. Just didn’t wanna have to bother Maria for anything.” You sighed, darting your eyes away from Steve and Connie, their arms crossed against their chest with almost comically smug smirks on their faces as they watched you shuffle back down the stairs, Javi reluctantly trailing behind you.

“Yeah? How’d that bandaid work out for ya?” Steve smiled with a shit eating grin, nodding to your hands, neither of them with a bandaid anywhere in sight. You let out a gulp, trying to quickly tuck your hands behind your back, your cheeks flushing pink with embarrassment. “Goddamn, you two gonna make it 3 hours without touching each other, or am I gonna have to bring him back here after hole 4 for a mid-round makeout?”

“Jesus Christ, Murph, really?.” Javi grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Bye, love you. Have fun and I’ll see you soon.” Leaned over, snaking his arm around your waist to plant one last kiss in your hair.

“Not soon enough, apparently…”

“Murphy…”

“Stop makin’ out and I’ll stop givin’ you shit.”

“Touche…” You muttered under your breath, just loud enough to make the 4 of you burst into laughter, easing the uncomfortable tension that you had brought upon yourself from your antics. “Love you too, have fun getting your ass kicked.”

“Yes, yes, out, out, out! It’s only 10 minutes until guests arrive and your truck is taking up all the room in the driveway! Out!” Stampeding into the living room, Maria waved her hands at the boys, quite literally shooing them out of the house after overhearing your goodbyes. Giving a quick wave to Javi as Maria kicked him and Steve to the curb, you caught Javi’s head whipping around for one last glance at you before you left, giving you a once over with his eyes and a soft smile on his face as the front door shut behind him.

Truth be told, your shower ended up being way less painful than you expected it would be. In all honesty, it was actually somewhat enjoyable. The fact that your mom, co-workers, and Connie had put into helping everyone come together to celebrate you filled your heart with so much more joy than you could have predicted- your friends and family had bought you and Javi so many more gifts than you knew what to do with, had so many kind things to say about the two of you, and Connie had even gone out of her way to make sure that there were fun games planned for everyone to keep the need for constant socialization at bay. It really had ended up being a fun afternoon, even if it meant having to answer the same questions about your wedding, house and honeymoon plans more times than you could count.

Javi, on the other hand, could not have been having a worse time on the golf course, getting his ass thoroughly handed to him by Steve hole after hole, wondering to himself how anyone could bring themself to genuinely enjoy the torture that had been the past two and a half hours of hacking his club into chunks of grass and loosing his golf balls in the brush. The only consoling factor was that Javi was grateful to spend time with Steve, even if it meant being berated by endless questions from him on top of his painful performance while he played.

“You feelin’ ready for the big day?” Steve grunted, after smacking his driver against his ball from the tee box, Javi relieved that the pair were finally on the 9th and final hole.

“Yeah, I mean- Oh fuck me-” Javi grumbled, hitting his club and watching his ball fly into a patch of trees, the opposite direction of where he was trying to aim for, “I still can’t believe I’m getting married.”

“You and me both, Jav. I never thought I’d live to see the fuckin’ day, that’s for damn sure. Javier Peña, a married man.” Steve chuckled, slipping his club into his golf bag as Javi followed behind, grabbing what must have been the 57th golf ball from his bag this round.

“Shut the fuck up, Murph.” Javi chuckled, shaking his head at his friends’ jab, the two of them hopping into the golf cart together to try and scavenge for Javi’s long lost ball.

“I’m just given’ you shit, Jav. I’m fuckin’ happy for you man. Really happy. She’s a great girl. Best thing that’s ever happened to your sorry ass, I’ll tell you that much. Guess you don’t have to worry about really followin’ through this time?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re actually gonna get married this time? You’re not leavin’ her at the altar like Lorraine, huh?” As Steve laughed to himself, Javi could practically feel his stomach drop, his heart beginning to race as a wave of terrible guilt and panic washed over him at his friend’s ironic question.

To his own shock and surprise, Javi hadn’t thought about his last lack of a wedding once since the two of you had gotten engaged. He had been so head over heels excited to spend the rest of his life with you, that the failures of his past engagement had been tucked far away in the back of his mind. But then again, no one had been so gracious as to bring up the knife to the chest that was leaving Lorraine at the altar, and no one had been so gracious as to bring it up in classic Steve Murphy fashion.

Javi could audibly hear himself gulp, his heartbeat pounding so loud he could hear it ringing in his ears as the terrible reality of the past he had so glady forgotten about met him in a head on collision, instantly re-opening all of the cuts and wounds he had finally managed to sew together.

The last time he almost got married, Javier Peña had astronomically fucked up the lives of every last person who cared about him, leaving nothing but chaos and heartbreak in his wake.

Rationally, Javi could tell himself that his upcoming wedding was the polar opposite of everything that was once planned between him and Lorraine. Javi couldn’t have cared less about Lorraine. From the moment he had wearily accepted his fate, he had dreaded every moment of his future from that point on. But you were not Lorraine.

Javi loved you.

Javi cared about you.

Javi wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with you and give you everything in the world you could possibly want.

But, one mention of that 8 letter name had Javi’s brain flooding with every single doubt, regret, and painful memory of his past that he had fought so hard to forget. It had his mind reeling with every uncomfortable feeling of remembering the man he had been before you had come into his life and changed him for the better. He knew he was a better man. A stronger man. A man who was worthy of the love and compassion you had shown him from the moment you two had met.

Or was he?

“Earth to Javi? Hello? Anyone home?” Waving his hand in front of Javi’s face, Steve stared at Javi in confusion as to why it seemed like his friend had suddenly become lost in his own world as they pulled up to the patch of trees where his ball had most likely landed.

“Uh yeah, uh- what, sorry, um, what did you say?” Javi asked, visibly trying to shake the thoughts from his head, painfully scrunching his face and running his hand through his hair before looking back over at Steve.

“I asked if you were gonna go get the ball or if you just wanted to add to your +200 score and drop one here instead. Hey, you okay, man?” Steve questioned, pausing for a moment before asking the later half of his statement, seeing the color flushed from Javi’s face.

“Uh, yeah- Yeah, sorry, I just, I’m good. I’ll um, I’ll just drop a ball.” Javi muttered half to himself as he stepped out of the cart, barely paying attention enough to even remember what in the world he was even looking for in his golf bag.

If Javi wasn’t already thankful to be on the last hole before Steve’s comment, he sure as hell was now, mindlessly whacking his golf club with no regard as to how his ball made it to the green. Any thoughts about golf, let alone any previous attempts to even try to play well had now flown out the window, creeping thoughts of self doubt and resentment crawling through Javi’s mind. The rest of the round and the entire car ride back to Maria’s were spent in an internal battle ranging in Javi’s brain, the fight between the man he used to be and the man he’d thought he’d become rearing its ugly head with a painful intensity that absolutely felt like it was consuming him whole.

Steve, who was just as oblivious to his friend’s distraught state as he was to the idiocracy of his sarcastic question, had chalked Javi’s quiet and somber mood up to being an overly sore loser after getting mercilessly crushed at golf. Little did he know that his one silly comment had sent Javi spiraling down a trail of crushing self-doubt.

As the pair pulled into the driveway and made their way to the backyard where a few straggling party goers still lingered, trying to monopolize their time with you to get the details of your upcoming plans for the future. Being the attentive and patient person that you were, you were trying your hardest to seem enthused and engaged with in the conversation with who you thought was Javi’s Aunt’s Cousin (at this point, you had been introduced to so many new people, you were questioning your own name), but it wasn’t long before your future husband’s big, broad body entering the backyard had you more than distracted, your face instantly lighting up at the sight of him. Peeking over his Aunt’s cousin (or cousin’s aunt, you weren’t really sure) shoulder, you bit down on your lip to try and contain your excitement, letting a little wave shake from your hand in his direction.

Javi wished that your sweet smile and beautiful self were enough to snap him out of his funk, to see how you beamed in excitement just at the sight of him and shot him that lovestruck look he’d never get sick of- but for some twisted reason, it only made him feel worse.

You were everything- kind, smart, funny, the most breathtaking woman he’d ever seen. But what was he? Tired? Broken? A shitty guy who had done even shitter things, who had left nothing but destruction in his path for years and years, with no regard for who it hurt, or even worse, left for dead? How was he supposed to give you everything you deserved when he sure as fuck didn’t deserve you?

Before you had even said a word to him, you could already sense something was off about Javi’s demeanor that was due to more than just losing to Steve in golf. Even from across the backyard, his forced smile and tired brown eyes had a worried pit swirling in the bottom of your stomach, politely excusing yourself from your conversation to make your way over to Javi.

“Hi! You guys have fun at golf? Steve didn’t kick your ass too bad?” You grinned, wrapping your arms around Javi’s waist, pressing up on your toes to plant a kiss on his lips, his mouth barely ghosting over yours in return.

“Yeah, it was um- yeah, it was fine.” Javi nodded, trying to make a smile appear between his pursed lips. “How was the shower? You uh, you ready for Steve and I to start putting things in the truck to bring over to the new house?”

You immediately frowned in response, cocking your head in confusion at him. “Yeah, it was great, but hey, are- are you okay? You seem really off, like more than just Steve kicking your ass at golf off. Did something happen?”

“No, I’m- yeah, I’m good, Hermosa.” Javi’s eyes darted towards the ground, trying his best to stifle his sigh before another fake smile spread across his face, his response making you even more concerned than you were before, seeing he was clearly lying to you. As much as you wanted to problem solve right then and there to figure out what had Javi so distressed, the calls of one of the last groups of party goers wanting to say their goodbyes rang across the backyard, you flashing them a quick smile and a wave to signal you’d be over in a second. Before you could try and get anything else out of Javi, he had already backed himself away from your hands still tangled around his waist, nodding towards the group of women who were not so patiently waiting for you. “Go say goodbye, I’ll start loading stuff up.”

“Um, I- uh, yeah, o-okay. Thanks.” You murmured, half to yourself, as Javi had already begun to walk away to find Steve to help him start carrying things out to the car, leaving you more anxious and confused with every passing second.

With goodbyes finished, and decor and party setup cleaned up just as fast as Maria had demanded it to be put up, you and Javi made your way to your now packed car, followed by Connie and Steve, who had asked to see the progress on your new house while they were in town. You figured you’d kill two birds with one stone, inviting them over and having them help to unload gifts in the same trip, but now, given the strangely somber mood that Javi couldn’t seem to shake, you really wished it was just the two of you so you could figure out what the hell was going on.

You and Javi piled into his truck, Steve and Connie hopping into theirs and following you down Maria’s street towards your new house. A stark silence filled the car, praying to yourself that maybe Javi just wanted to be alone before he said anything about his current state, but 5 minutes down the road without a single word falling from his lips, you had a devastating feeling that wasn’t going to be the case.

Your leg bounced against the seat, fingers nervously drumming in your lap, letting out a quiet sigh to yourself before looking over at Javi and mustering up the courage to try and interrogate.

“Sooooo, golf was fun? I love ya, but I think it’s probably safe to assume Steve won?” You quietly snickered, trying your best to stay nonchalant.

“Yeah, it was good, Steve won, but that’s no surprise because I suck at golf.” Javi mumbled to himself, barely glancing your direction from behind the yellow tinted aviators perched on the bridge of his nose. Normally, if either of you had something that self-deprecating to say, it was at least followed by some sort of a joke or laugh, but his comment ended with nothing but a stoic silence as his hands gripped tighter around the steering wheel.

“Hey, babe, it’s okay, you don’t ever golf, so it’s hard to expect yourself to be good at something you rarely ever do.” You reached over to grab his arm to reassure him, that unsettling and anxious pit beginning to grow in your stomach again with the way Javi was acting. All he could muster was a half hearted huff in response, signaling to you that whatever was happening was much bigger than a poor game of golf.

“Javi… Baby, what’s going on? Did something happen with Steve?”

“It’s nothing.”

“It’s clearly not nothing, Jav. Did I do something wrong?”

“No, I told you, it’s fine.”

“Javi, it obviously isn’t fine if this is the way you’re acting about it. Why won’t you talk to me about it? I just wanna-”

“I told you, it’s fine, okay!? Jesus, I don’t need you to solve all my problems.”

Oh.

You and Javi had been in arguments before, hell, you’d been in fights before, but never once in the time that you’d known him, had Javi snapped at you like this. You could practically feel yourself recoiling in your seat from the harsh tone of his voice, fighting back the tears that had instantly begun welling in your eyes. You could feel your heart in your throat, choking down a heavy gulp as your lip quivered to try and keep from crying.

What had gone so wrong that Javi was acting like this?

You wish you had it in you to dig it out of him, but as you pulled up the driveway of your new home, Steve and Connie right behind you, ready for a tour, the best you could muster was a quiet, “O-okay.” As soon as the car was in park, Javi was unbuckling his seatbelt and slamming the door behind him, leaving you behind in the car, trying everything in your power to not become a startled, sobbing mess.

Wiping away the wetness pooling behind your eyelids, you swiped the back of your hand against your cheeks, taking a few deep breaths before following behind, mustering up as much courage as you could to keep your cool for however long Steve and Connie were planning to stick around before heading back to San Antonio.

You had hoped that Steve and Connie hadn't picked up on the palpable tension brewing between you and Javi, trying your best to put on a brave face as you paraded the Murphy’s through your nearly completed house. To be quite honest, you couldn’t have recalled anything that had happened in the time that they were there, your mind racing in torment as you watched Javi brood around your new home, barely saying a word to you, let alone make any eye contact, or look in your general direction.

As the four of you made your way upstairs, your attention was finally caught by the low lull of Steve’s laughter as he situated himself between you and Javi, grabbing you both by the shoulders and shaking you in his grasp.

“Well I’ll be damned. Y’all got enough rooms up here to house half a baseball team! You want that many kids driving ya nuts, huh?” Steve chuckled, making his way down the hallway, peeking into the empty bedrooms of your 2nd story.

“Steve!” Connie scolded, slapping the back of her hand against Steve’s stomach for his comment.

“What?! I’m just sayin’! I thought y’all would want like, 2, but there’s enough room for way more than that. I mean, I guess you two are fuckin’ goin’ at it like rabbits all the time, so I can’t really be shocked.”

“Steven Edward Murphy! Jesus Christ!” Connie snapped, shooting Steve a dangerous glare, aggressively raising an eyebrow at her husband as she gestured towards you and Javi.

“No, it’s okay, we don’t know for sure how many we want, but we figured if we had the space we’d add the rooms and even if they’re not bedrooms, they’ll still get used.” You had it in you enough to force a half smile across your face, flashing it at Steve and Connie before looking over at Javi.

While you hadn’t expected much of a response from him given the current situation, what you weren’t expecting was the panic stricken look painting Javi from head to toe.

If you weren’t already worried out of your mind about what the fuck was going on with Javi, you sure as fuck were now.

“Uh, I um- yeah.”

Those were the only words Javi was able to choke out through the audible thumps pounding in his chest as his face went ghost white, eyes peeled to the ground.

“See, Steve? You’re making them uncomfortable! You have absolutely no filter, I swear! I’m so sorry, you guys!” Connie frantically apologized, giving Steve another hardy slap in the stomach, making him wince.

“I’m just jokin’, Jesus Christ, sorry!” Steve grumbled, holding up his hands in defense from his wife’s accusation, sheepishly looking over at you and Javi with a little shrug.

“No, it’s uh- no, it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You had given up on trying to be convincing at this point, your voice quietly shaking as you stared at Javi, now looking like a terrified, ragged shell of himself.

What the fuck was going on? Did Javi want to wait to have kids? Did he not want to have that many? Was he having second thoughts about kids all together? Fuck, was he having second thoughts about getting married? He’s literally never acted like this before. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

You were sure at this point, you probably looked just as much of a mess as Javi did, letting your thoughts race wildly throughout your brain, the silence now lingering between the four of you now seemed to feel deafening, Connie beginning to pick up on the uneasiness festering between you and Javi and knowing she had enough common sense for her and Steve to pick up her cue to see herself out.

“Well, still, I’m sorry. We should probably get going anyways, we told the sitter we’d be back around 6 so we should probably hit the road. Thank you so much for the tour! The shower was beautiful and I’m so glad I could be there for it. We’ll see you guys for the big day soon! Just let me know if you need any help with wedding stuff between now and then okay?”

“Uh yeah, yeah of course. Thanks for all your help, Con. I’ll um- I’ll let you know if we need anything.” You stammered as Connie pulled you in for a hug goodbye, followed quickly by Steve, who planted a few pats on your back mid hug.

“Bye sweetheart, thanks for letting me steal this asshole for golf today. See y’all when you’re gettin’ ready to get hitched! Adios, loser.” Steve chuckled as he pulled away from your hug to tug Javi into another, giving him an even harder pat on the back before letting Connie say her goodbyes as well.

“Do you want me to walk you guys down to your-”

“Nah, we’ll find our way out, no worries. Bye lovebirds, see ya soon.” Steve grinned, giving the both of you one last wave farewell before disappearing down the stairs, their hushed bickers about Steve’s unnecessary comments quietly trailing behind them. Before you could even get a word out to Javi now that the two of you were alone, he was already halfway down the stairs behind the Murphy’s, not even bothering to look back at you as he mumbled under his breath.

“I’m gonna get the gifts out of the car and go sit outside.”

“Jav, wait, I-”

You could feel the lump beginning to swell in your throat, your bottom lip trembling with tears welling in your eyes as you watched Javi storm down the stairs without even so much as an attempt to care about what you had to say, leaving you with nothing but yourself and 5 empty bedrooms that now had you questioning everything you thought you knew about your future with Javi. You felt your body begin to collapse like a sad pile of jello as you melted into a sobbing puddle on the floor, bringing your knees to your chest as you cried into the flowy fabric of your dress, leaving wet stains behind from your tears. Your breaths were rapid and shaky with each muffled sob, trying to rationally grasp on to something, anything, as to why Javi was acting this way. But the more the gears frantically turned in your brain, the more irrational and terrifying your thoughts became.

This all happened so fucking fast. It’s only been a year since I’ve known him. Is he realizing it’s too much? Am I too much? This was all too fucking good to be true, wasn’t it, you fucking idiot.

Taking a few more minutes to collect yourself enough to at least stop full on sobbing, you wiped your wet cheeks with the back of your palm, inhaling a trembling deep breath as you mustered up every ounce of courage you could find to face whatever fate was waiting for you downstairs with Javi.

Each step down the stairs felt heavier than the last, leaving your fingers anxiously drumming against your legs as you saw Javi’s broad body hunched over the side of the unfinished back patio, staring out to the tall grass of your backyard swaying in the warm summer breeze. If it were any other time, you would have rushed up behind him, wrapping your body around his back and attacking him with kisses until the two of you were wound up in a fit of laughter and giggles, happily tangled in each other's bodies.

Right now, you were terrified to even step too close to him.

Carefully and quietly sliding open the glass door to the porch, you prayed with every bone in your body you weren’t going to do anything that set Javi off enough to even let you attempt to have a conversation with him about what was going on. The new wood softly creaked under your shoes, making Javi turn his head just enough to acknowledge your presence as you wearily approached him. Taking one more deep breath, you opened your mouth to speak, but with your jaw hanging open, Javi’s words filled the stark silence before yours could.

“I don’t know if we should get married.”

Fuck.

You could practically feel your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach, like the weight of 1,000 bricks had been dropped on your body all at once, hearing that come out of his mouth. You could have mentally tried to brace yourself for a lot of things, but hearing Javi tell you he didn't want to get married anymore sure as hell wasn't one of them.

“Javi, I- baby, what- I don’t- I don’t-”

“Why the fuck do you even wanna marry me?”

Your brows scrunched in pain and confusion at the sharp tone of his words, desperate to try and understand what point he was trying to prove in this gut wrenching game he seemed to be playing.

“Because I- Javi, I- Javi I love you, that’s why.” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you sat down next to him on the edge of the porch, leaning over enough to see the tears glistening down his cheeks, his eyes red and puffy as he tried to stifle the sobs rumbling in his chest. He shook his head back and forth before his gaze fell into his lap.

“You shouldn’t love me.”

“Javi… what the fuck are you talking about?” you plead, feeling the pain and hurt creeping through your body as you watched the tears he was so desperately trying to fight. With a scornful scoff, Javi shook his head, pressing against his knees to stand, taking a few paces around the porch, burying his hands in his face, his words muffled and muted by his palms covering his mouth.

“What the fuck am I- I’m not- I’m not what you deserve. I don’t understand how you don’t fucking see that.”

You followed suit, bringing yourself to stand with your arms crossed tightly across your chest, staring at Javi in bewilderment, biting down on your tongue so hard to keep from bursting into tears you thought you were going to make it bleed. You could feel the storm of pain, anger and confusion brewing deep in the pit of your stomach, your body numb and mind blank.

“Javier. What the fuck is going on? I don’t understand why-”

“Because last time I was gonna get married I fucked up everything. For everyone. I hurt everyone I cared about. I went half way around the world and I spent a decade fucking things up even more. How do you know I’m not gonna fuck everything up again? I love you too much to let it happen to you. The thought of ever hurting you even half as I much as I’ve hurt anyone else because of my choices fucking kills me. I can’t do it. I can’t hurt you like I’ve hurt everyone else. I’d never fucking forgive myself. I love you more than anything, Osita. I love you more than anything in the world. You deserve someone who isn’t going to hurt you. Someone who will do right by you, by your family, your future children, I just- fuck- I don’t think that person can be me.”

A deafening silence hung in the air as you stared blankly at Javi, tears streaming from his tormented brown eyes, his body trembling with devastation and regret. You had no doubt your body mirrored his as the guilt and heartbreak flooded you from head to toe, wondering how in the world you had ever let the man you loved and cared about more than anything feel like he wasn’t enough for you.

You wished you could speak- to find the words to tell him that he was your everything, the glue that had put you back together when you were convinced there was nothing else that could mend the broken mess that you had become. You wished you could express to him that there was no one on the face of this earth that you would rather spend the rest of your life with than him- that there was no one else you wanted by your side through every moment of your life, the good, the bad and the ugly, more than him. You wished there was a way to tell him that you loved him more than anything, but in that moment, all you could do was grab him and wrap your arms around his waist, squeezing him as tightly as your body would let you, letting your wet face rest against the familiar warmth of his chest as you whispered into the soft fabric of his shirt.

“Javier Peña, you’re the only person it could be.”

You could feel his chest begin to rumble with heavy sobs as his arms draped around you, pulling you against his body so closely, it was like his life depended on it, like he couldn’t bear the thought of ever letting you go again. One arm stayed wrapped around your back as the other slid up the back of your neck, his broad palm cradling your head in his grasp, his fingers practically digging into your skin to keep you close as the two of you let yourselves do nothing but hold each other in your teary silence.

You let one of your hands reach up towards Javi’s face, cupping his jaw and forcing his gaze back on to you, as your thumb traced back and forth along his cheek, wiping away the wetness that had been welling in his eyes.

“I need you to listen to me, okay?” You asked, waiting until you felt Javi’s head gently nod up and down in understanding in your palm before you continued, “The man you were before doesn’t scare me. If it did, I would have been gone a long time ago. The man you were before has turned you into the man that you’ve become. The man that I want to spend everyday with for the rest of my life. Every good day, every bad day, every painful, hard and shitty day, and every day in between. And I promise that I will spend every last one of those days until the day I die trying my best to convince you that you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And if I die trying, then so be it. I love you, Javi. Don’t you ever think for a second that there is anyone out there that I want to spend the rest of my life with more than you, and I won’t ever let you forget it.”

It was only moments before both of Javi’s hands were cradling your face, gently trembling as they cupped your soft, wet skin as you locked eyes with his, watching his face shift from terrified to bewildered, thinking he must have misheard what you had just said to him.

“Osita, I-”

“Promise me.”

“Promise you what?”

“Promise me that you believe me. Promise me that you know I love you more than anything.”

There was a part of Javi’s brain that wished he could find something to prove that he couldn’t. To prove he wasn’t worthy of keeping the promise you had made to him. To convince himself that he had no reason to believe he was worthy of the love you had given him.

But the truth was, for the first time that he could remember, as he looked down at you, the woman who had taken his life and forever changed it for the better, who had helped to heal him in ways he didn’t know he needed, who had cared for him in ways he never thought he deserved, and who had stood by him even as you learned about the ugliest parts of him he never thought he’d forgive himself for, Javier Peña finally realized he had learned what it was like to be worthy of love.

You had made him realize he was worthy of being loved.

A small gulp slid down his throat between his shaky breaths, taking a moment to soak in everything about you, before letting his lips ghost across yours as a quiet whisper left his mouth.

“I promise.”

And just like that, his lips crashed into yours with a ferocious and tender passion, soaking in every ounce of the sweet flavor of you, a taste he knew he would never tire of, one that he craved like nothing else.

“I love you, Osita. Fuck, I love you so much.” Javi moaned between your kisses, praying with every bone in his body you knew how much he meant it.

“I love you too, Javi.” The hot breath of your words danced across his lips before they were crashing together once again, his tongue swiping between your parted mouths as he ran his hand down your back and around your waist, pulling you so close you were convinced your bodies were going to melt into one as you pressed against his broad chest, now needily grasping at fist fulls of his shirt.

In that moment, it was like the two of you could feel something in the air change. The tension lifting, the frustrated fog fading, the both of you desperately needing the other to know how much you loved them. The Javi you knew and loved had come back, returning home to you. All of the fear and sadness was replaced by a rampant desperation to know how much you needed him, almost as much as he needed to show you how hopelessly he craved you, too.

With your bodies still tangled together, your kisses became messier and sloppier as you backed your way towards the door that lead inside, stumbling and trampling over each other’s feet without any regard for where you were headed until you felt your back bump against the kitchen island, the rounded edges of the countertop stopping you in your tracks as Javi caged you between his broad figure and the island.

Both of your hands were now feverishly roaming across each other’s bodies before Javi had run his hands down your thighs, hoisting you up to sit on the countertop, planting hot, wet kisses across your neck and collarbone while his fingers crept under the hem of your dress, his palms sliding up and down your legs, digging his fingers into your flesh.

“Javi…” You whimpered, letting your eyes close and head fall back as he sucked at your pulse point, leaving you with one hand bracing yourself against the edge of the counter and the other with your fingers wrapped around the navy fabric of Javi’s shirt, clinging on for dear life.

You eyes opened, and gaze shifted downwards as you felt Javi pull away from your grasp, watching him drop to his knees, slotting himself between your parted legs and kissing the inside of your thighs while his hands tugged at the waistband of your already soaked underwear, hastily shuffling them to fall down your legs and pool at your ankles. His needy kisses up your thighs crept closer and closer to your core as your legs draped over his shoulders, kneeling before you like you were the altar of everything he worshiped as his deep brown eyes looked up at yours, like he was begging for forgiveness for his sins.

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I’m so sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it. Fuck, I love you so much. Let me show me how much I love you. Please, baby. Please let me show you how much I need to be yours.”

Your response was nothing but a ragged moan as you felt his hot breath hovering over your cunt before letting long, flat licks of his tongue drag through your folds, each swipe pressing firmer than the last, lapping up the arousal dripping from your entrance like a sweet nectar. With one hand still white knuckling the edge of the countertop, the other shot down to bury itself in the dark curls of Javi’s thick locks, tugging at ends to find some place to ease your tension as he began to flick and swirl his tongue relentlessly against your clit, lapping you up like a man starved.

“Oh fuck Javi- fuck- you feel so good, baby.” You moaned, raking your fingers along Javi’s scalp as you watched his head bob nestled between your legs, feeling the low hum of satisfaction thrumming in his throat as he began to suck your sensitive bundle of nerves, latching his lips around your clit as his mouth worked feverishly against your cunt. You could already feel the tingle beginning to grow at the base of your spine and spread to your legs as Javi found every sweet spot that he knew made you lose all control, desperate to make you feel how much he needed your love and forgiveness.

“That’s it, sweet girl. Let go for me baby, I’ve got you.” Javi hummed before diving back between your legs, tightening his grip around your thighs as his tongue danced around your clit relentlessly. It wasn’t long before you could feel your orgasm begin to flood your body, pleasure crashing through you as you cried out his name, a death grip clutching around the counter and Javi’s dark locks. Javi worked you through your high, drinking up the juices of your slick as you came, feeling your legs tremble as they stayed slung over his broad shoulders, not stopping until your body was shaking and your whimpers and moans had become so wrecked, he had no choice but to stop to relish in the blissed out, dripping mess he had made you. He would have loved to stay like this forever, watching you become more and more wrecked beneath his tongue, the want, no, need, to be buried inside your heat, getting lost in your wetness and warmth, savoring in the way no one else would ever be able to have you like he did, to know that you were his.

Javi worked in a determined silence, rusting with his belt buckle until the metal clangs of it opening had his pants and boxers in a puddle around his ankles, splaying kisses across your neck as he slid you towards the edge of the counter, his fingers digging into your hips with a bruising intensity. He stroked himself a few times as he lined his cock up with your entrance, guiding his tip through the glistening arousal covering your folds, leaving his dick shiny with your slick as you whimpered into his skin.

“Javi… Please, baby. I need you.” You whimpered, instinctively bucking your hips towards him, desperately craving him to ease the achy emptiness between your legs.

Resting his forehead against yours, the dark, damp curls of his hair brushed your skin, the hot and heavy heat of each of your shaky breaths melting into one another’s as your lips ghosted his, only fully meeting yours to catch the moan that had escaped your mouth as he pushed himself into your heat, letting himself bottom out, his tip brushing against your cervix. You couldn’t help but wrap your legs around the small of his back and drape your arms over his shoulders, desperate to have your bodies needily tangled and intertwined together as you savored in the sweet sting and stretch of his fullness.

He began to rock his hips, letting his cock drag in and out of your cunt, taking his time with each stroke, the movement making you dig your fingernails into the fabric of his shirt stretched over his muscular back, in turn, making the grip he had around your waist even tighter, his fingers buried in the soft flesh of your stomach where his hands had crept under your dress.

The way he punched up into you, perfectly pounding against your g-spot with each thrust, combined with the way the hairs at his base rubbed along your clit, already had the inevitable coil beginning to tighten in your belly. You dug your nails deeper into Javi’s skin, grasping for the damp curls at the nape of his neck, your whimpers growing louder and more desperate with each stroke as you could feel yourself beginning to crumble beneath him.

Each stroke seemed to become deeper and fuller than the last, Javi’s pace now climbing in speed and intensity as he felt your cunt clench tighter and tighter around his cock, knowing that familiar feeling meant you were coming closer to your end. You could barely muster anything but a whimper, your soft pleads and begs going straight to his dick as he slid and out of your wet heat.

“Fuck baby, don’t stop- ahhhh- please don’t stop, I’m so close.”

The lewd sounds of skin hitting skin and low, ragged moans echoed against the bare walls of your unfinished kitchen as Javi fucked deeper and deeper into you, singing sweet, soft praises against your skin between locking your lips with yours.

“Fuck- Dámelo, Hermosa (Give it to me, beautiful). Need to feel you soak my cock before I fuck you full of me. It’s okay mi amor- mierda- té tengo. (my love- shit- I’ve got you.) I’ve always got you. Forever.”

You could feel your legs lock even tighter around Javi’s waist as heat began to bloom in your belly, only needing a few more thrusts as you rolled your hips against his before your mind went blank and vision went white, your orgasm crashing through your body and flooding every inch of you with pleasure so intense, you could feel yourself going limp in his grasp.

“Fuck, Javi, fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god-ahhhhhhhh-” You whimpered as Javi fucked you through your high, now desperate to chase his own as his thrusts became rushed and sloppy, pounding into you as your walls gripped around his cock like a vice. Your warmth and wetness consumed him, only needing a few more pumps before he could feel himself following suit, hissing through gritted teeth as incoherent babbles spilled from his lips.

“There it is, baby. Fuck- fuck, you’re so fucking perfect. I love you so much, Osita. Con todo mi corazón. (With my whole heart). Oh fuck- I’m yours forever. Oh shit, I’m gonna cum to, oh fuckkkkkk.”

With one last thrust, Javi finished buried deep inside you, hot ropes of his cum coating your walls as a slick mixture of spend leaked down your thighs, leaving him panting while he slumped into your shoulder, his chest heaving with labored breaths, trying to compose himself. Bracing himself with one palm flat against the counter next to your hip, his other hand reached up to your face, brushing away a piece of stray hair back into place before gently cupping your cheek as he spoke.

“Osita, baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you so much. I didn’t mean what I said earlier, I just- fuck- I’ve never been so sure of anything, but when we were at golf today, Steve brought up Lorraine, and I- I just was so scared I was gonna fuck everything up again, and I-”

“Oh God, he brought up Lorraine?! Jesus. I knew it. I knew this was Steve’s fucking fault.” You sighed, quietly laughing to yourself as you shook your head.

“Wait, how did you-”

“Because it just seemed so strange that you were acting like this all of a sudden. You got back from golfing with him and it was like you were a different person. I mean, I’m not gonna lie, I was freaked out and panicking wondering what happened because you’ve never acted like that before. That, and because I love Steve, but he’s an idiot.” The two of you were both now laughing, Javi rubbing his hand over his face before rolling his eyes, wondering to himself how he had really let his friend’s stupid comment get the best of him.

“I’m so sorry, Osita. I should have just ignored it, I just hadn’t thought about it in so long and I was so terrified to mess everything up again. It would kill me to hurt you like that.” His thumb circled around your cheek as he tilted your gaze to meet his, sincerity and remorse swirling in the dark pools of his chocolate brown eyes.

“Javi, listen, if this is moving too fast, or it’s too much for you, I want you to be able to tell me, I understand if-” Before you could finish your sentence, Javi’s lips were planted tenderly against yours, pulling away from your mouth with a goofy grin and satisfied sigh.

“I promise you, I’ve never wanted anything more. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I can’t wait to marry you,” he leaned in, pressing a quick kiss on your cheek, “I can’t wait to live in our new house with you,” he grinned, planting another ticklish kiss on your neck, “I can’t wait until we can finally start filling up these empty rooms with little baby Peñas” Javi chuckled, now peppering kisses all over your body, making you erupt in a fit of laughter and giggles, squirming and flailing in his grasp, playfully swatting at him. “I can’t wait to spend every day for the rest of my life with the most beautiful, amazing woman I’ve ever met.” He smirked, tilting his head to let your mouths meet again, this kiss filled with a tender passion and intensity unmatched by his previous playful ones.

It was the kind of kiss that said all of the things that words couldn’t. The kind of kiss that had butterflies fluttering in your stomach like the first kiss you had shared in Maria’s bathroom almost a year ago. The kind of kiss that made you fall even deeper in love with him, even when you thought you couldn’t.

It was also the kind of kiss where everything else in the world seemed to melt away and make time stand still, a kiss that you could have stayed lost in forever… unless a certain someone hadn’t forgotten his wallet at your house and needed to come back and get it.

You were so oblivious to anything else happening around you, that neither you or Javi had heard your front door open, followed by the rushed, impatient footsteps of Steve and Connie, arguing about where Steve could have left his wallet, and how on earth he could have left without realizing it was missing from its usual home in his back pocket.

“Seriously, Steve, I can’t believe we’re gonna waste a whole hour having to turn around and come back here because you couldn’t remember your wallet!”

“Con, I told you, it’s right on the counter, I know where it is, lemme just go grab it really quick and then we ca- Oh Jesus fucking Christ!” Steve shouted, walking into the kitchen to see you and Javi making out on your island, your dress pushed up well past your legs, and Javi’s bare ass on display from his pants still pooling around his ankles.

“Ahhhhh!” You and Javi shrieked, practically jumping out of your skin to see Steve’s tall and lanky frame frozen in your kitchen, now scrambling to try and fix your clothes and hair to try and save yourselves at least some dignity.

“What the hell are you two doin’?!” Steve grimaced, trying not to cackle to himself as Connie rushed up behind him to see what was happening, only to very quickly cover her eyes and turn away from you and Javi.

“Us?! What the hell are you doing here? Jesus, you ever heard of fucking knocking, Murph?!” Javi groaned, shuffling his pants back up and fixing his hair before helping you off the counter, trying your best to hide your beet red, embarrassed face.

“I forgot my wallet! Forgive me for thinkin’ you two would keep your hands off each other for long enough to let me come pick it up in peace.” Steve frowned, raising up his hands in defense.

“I’m sorry! I told him to call you to let you know he was coming to pick it up, but he seemed to think it wasn’t a big deal.” Connie scolded, giving Steve a forceful nudge of her elbow before finally turning back around to face you and Javi, knowing you were at least halfway decent. “God, I love you, but you are an idiot.”

“You can say that again…” You snickered under your breath, just loud enough to make Javi and Connie join in your laughter, leaving Steve with his arms crossed over his chest, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

“Hey, listen. Call me what you want, but I don’t think you’ll be callin’ me an idiot when you need me to come babysit your 47 kids so the two of you can get some…” He paused gesturing to you and Javi’s disheveled state, “... time to yourselves. Like I said earlier, y’all gotta lot of rooms to fill, and I don’t think you’re gonna have any problem doin’ it.”

And for as much as you wanted to give Steve the ten pounds of shit he deserved, as you looked up at Javi standing next to you, you couldn’t really even bring yourself to be mad. Because in the end, the only thing that mattered was him- the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with. The one who was your future, the one who stood with you through every twist and turn, the one who was your home. What started as a day that had you questioning everything had turned into one that had never made you feel more assured. You knew that Javier Peña loved you more than life itself, and you knew that you were so lucky to spend the rest of your life getting to prove to him over and over that you loved him just as much.

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mcverse · 1 year

Text

✧ Paring: Tsu’tey x Na’vi! F! Reader

✧ Requested: Yes/No

✧ Type: Longfic

✧ Word count: 7.7K

✧ Warnings: Angst, Suppressed feelings, Oblivious reader, insecurities, Slight obvious Tsu’tey at the start, Tsu’tey gaslights just a little bit, Jealous vulnerable Tsu’tey, awkward banter, hurt to comfort I guess?, slow burn

✧ Side Bar: Tsu is so fiiiine. Can you believe I slept on him at first? Crazy, what’s was I thinking?? I ENJOYED THIS SO THANK YOU FOR SENDING IT IN BABE; TOOK 4EVER CUZ ITS LONG — srry im shitty at arguments :( i avoid anything feelings irl

✧ Omnitalk: I know that the Tsahik and the Tsakarem are technically the only healers in the clan, but I just feel like y’know there could be more but they just don’t match that level of greatness. My reasoning: there’s more than one doctor in the world, what if a whole group of warriors got hurt, the Tsahik can’t cater to them all, at least I don’t think so. ANYWAY that concludes my Omnitalk thanks for stopping by

please keep in mind that all characters in my stories are always 18+, and although I can't monitor who reads my work, if you are not 18+ I advise that you do not engage in my page or stories.

Your temper had always been something that you struggled with. Patience wasn't exactly your forte, but you knew how to keep your cool in most situations. You weren't a saint by any means, but it took a lot to push you to the brink of losing control.

Thankfully, you had Eywa to turn to when things got tough. She provided a sense of guidance that helped you stay calm in moments when it would have been easy to let your anger get the best of you. Without her, you knew you would have snapped at him long ago.

Tsu’tey.

His reputation preceded him wherever he went. A true embodiment of the warrior spirit, he exuded strength and bravery with every step he took. During the battle against the sky people, his ferocity in both defense and protection of your people and land was unparalleled. He possessed razor-sharp reflexes and a keen mind, which made him merciless in battle—traits that marked him as a natural-born leader, fit for the title of the Olo'eyktan.

And yet, it seemed that you only experienced the negative aspects of his character. The origins of your rocky relationship with the current Olo'eyktan were fuzzy, but it felt as though your paths crossed every day.

As one of the best healers in the village, it's already challenging enough to do your job with how reckless the warriors were, but with him lurking around was considerable worst. While you respect him and assume the feeling is mutual, tension always seems to arise between the two of you.

You couldn't help but wonder why Tsu'tey always had to be around when warriors were injured. You were more than capable of handling the job on your own—after all, you had been trained by your mother and had been practicing as a healer for as long as you could remember. You could tend to the wounded with your eyes closed.

But for some reason, Tsu'tey always seemed to show up when warriors were injured on his watch, which happened more often than it should. It was confusing because these were skilled warriors who should not have been injured so frequently. You’d think he’d match your concern but Tsu’tey appears unfazed. In fact, he seems content to stand there and watch you work.

That didn’t change the fact that you hated to endure it. Every time Tsu’tey appeared, the air around you seemed to shift, and you could feel his penetrating gaze fixed on you as he stood over your shoulder. Even though you knew iit was possible he was here to ensure you didn't make a mistake, you had never slipped up in your tending to the Na’vi.

You longed for him to give you some space and allow you to breathe. A day without his stupidly handsome face, always twisted into a scowl, would be a blessing. It was suffocating to have him lurking around, making you feel uneasy as you work. Instead of letting it affect your tending to the Na'vi, you let harsh words slithers out of your mouth. They were words that no one would dare to direct to the Olo'eyktan, but they weren’t you.

"Do you not have responsibilities to attend to as Olo’eyktan, Tsu'tey?” you break the silence, keeping your hands steady on the Na'vi in front of you, despite your desire to turn and push Tsu’tey out of your healers hut.

He nods, shifting his gaze from your hands to the side of your face, "Yes. One of my duties is to ensure proper care for our people," he replies matter-of-factly.

You click your tongue, silently apologizing to the Na'vi when you realize you have grazed his wound too harshly. Then you turn your attention back to Tsu'tey, "You keep saying that, but do you not think I am capable of caring for them alone?" you ask, peering at him and study him.

His expression doesn’t change from the scowl but you knew your words had affected him. Over time, he had become easier to read, his emotions slowly surfacing through subtle gestures and expressions. You noticed the way he gulped slowly, his ears flicking downward, and his tail switching off to the opposite side.

Looking up seconds later, your eyes met and you pause, catching a knowing gleam in his gaze that no one else seemed to have noticed but you. Perhaps you had been paying too much attention to him, a realization that he had definitely overstayed his welcome.

A small smile played at the corner of your lips as he responded, already anticipating the snarky comment that would leave his mouth. Despite finding him annoying and wanting him to be around less often, you couldn't deny that there was a certain charm to the unpleasant side of him that showed a few pleasantries you didn't mind all too much.

“You might be a healer now but you’re the same reckless girl from your upbringing.” Tsu’tey averts his eyes to the silent Na’vi, “Can’t even be gentle when it’s needed. Maybe you would be better off among the warriors.” He tilts his head towards you, wearing a barely noticeable smug expression.

You sigh deeply to cover up the slip up on your demeanor and dismissed the Na'vi by patting him on the shoulder, "In three days, come back so I can change it," you instructed him as he nods and left the hut.

After staring at he same space the wounded Na’vi was in, you turned completely to Tsu’tey, who was already looking at you with a concentrated look. He straightens his posture, puff out his chest, and crosses his arms when he notice you looking at him.

“Unless you have more wounded warriors hiding somewhere, I’m kinda busy.” You gesture to the many supplies that you had to clean up, “It’ll be reckless of me to leave it around and cause another accident.” You mock his earlier statement, slightly ticked off that he brought it up in the first place.

Tsu'tey let out a disgruntled humph, his eyes momentarily leaving yours and wandering over your body. You couldn't help but feel self-conscious under his gaze, but as he took in every freckle and pattern, every smooth surface his eyes could reach, you also felt a flutter in your stomach. His gaze flickered hastily back up to yours, and he uncrossed his arms, silently giving you an affirmative nod before turning to leave the hut.

〰〰〰〰〰〰

After that odd encounter, it seemed as if a switch had been flipped in Tsu'tey's demeanor. The once stoic and tense warrior still came to your healer's hut, but now the exchanges between the two of you were different. The words that were once laced with venom and hostility now held a playful tone, something that was unexpected from the serious Na'vi.

In no way were you complaining, it beat his normal uprightness but it was a bit perplexing. Why had Tsu’tey suddenly become so much more relaxed and friendly around you? It made you question his motive, though you knew if he really had one, he’d mostly likely be upfront about it.

That doesn’t mean it still made any sense. You observed that he never acted in such a manner with any other warriors, and you weren’t the only one to notice. The warriors in the same hunting group as him, the same ones who get injured come in and feel uncomfortable yet curious at the different Tsu’tey.

The next time you see him, it was mid-morning when he entered the hut, following one of his men like usual. As soon as he caught sight of you, his ears perked up at the brief smile you sent his way. You quickly averted your gaze to focus on the injured Na’vi in front of you. You let out a sigh of annoyance as you saw it was Kenuk, who had been in your care four times this week, with injuries that hadn't even healed yet.

“Kenuk, how many times do I have to tell you to be careful!?” You scold him as he took his usual seat in the center of the room, Tsu’tey staying off to the side. You turned away from them both to grab some supplies before hurrying back to Kenuk to examine his wound. You couldn’t stop the frown from forming on your face when you saw the large scrape on his side. Though it wasn't deep, the size of the wound was concerning.

You reached for a wet cloth and began to softly clean his wound, but apparently, it was not soft enough, as a groan escaped Kenuk’s lips, followed by a chuckle, “More than I'd like,” he answers truthfully, looking down at you as you worked, “You're not exactly gentle.”

Tsu’tey grunts beside you, “What I say.”, clearly referencing the comment he made two weeks ago. Despite not looking at him, you could feel the smug expression he always wore, and it annoyed you to no end. Both he and Kenuk were getting on your nerves with their accusations of you being rough and insensitive. You knew you were capable of being gentle; you were gentle. Maybe Kenuk was just being overly sensitive. Perhaps he needed to toughen up.

“Prrnen, you’re soft just like one. Sensitive too,” you retorted, deliberately applying a bit more pressure to Kenuk’s wound to make your point. You smiled as he winced and shot you a warning glare. Ignoring him, you set aside the damp cloth and reached for the healing ointment, the one you knew would make him whimper like a baby.

Tsu'tey notices this, drawing in his attention as he raises a brow at your choice. He's not a healer, but he's had his fair share of injuries and he knows that the ointment in your hands stings the most. He was accustomed to the stinging sensation it caused, but not everyone had his high tolerance. Did that comment get to you that much?

Just as you both thought, Kenuk pulls away from you in seconds, trying to get away from your touch. "Shit!" he curses, about to get up when a firm hand grabs his shoulder and forces him to sit back down. It belongs to Tsu'tey, no surprise given he's the only other person in the hut. But it's surprising that he's helping.

"She can't do her job if you move too much." There's a moment of tension between the two Na'vi as they lock eyes, almost as if they were having a silent conversation. Eventually, Kenuk concedes, muttering a begrudging "fine" and shifting his body to give you better access to his wound.

You glance over at Tsu’tey, his tall and imposing figure commanding attention even in the dimly lit hut. "Thank you... Ma Tsu’tey," you say, the words feeling foreign on your tongue. You've shown gratitude to others before, but never directed towards him. You and Tsu’tey have never been nice to each other, at least not until a few weeks ago.

You went back to focus on treating Kenuk's wound, you find your eyes wandering over to Tsu’tey's muscular frame. It's not a habit of yours to be distracted by someone's physique, but there was something about him that drew your attention. You force yourself to look away and focus on the task at hand. "How are you the most wounded warrior in the village, hm?" you ask, trying to distract yourself from your thoughts. "Your health is important, skxawng.

As soon as you ask the question, you expect an immediate response, but instead, an uncomfortable silence lingers, causing you to pause and study his face. His expression is devoid of his usual goofiness, which only increases your concern.

“I asked a question," you convey, brows furrowed in confusion.

He clears his throat and looks away, avoiding your gaze. "The Chief," he murmurs finally. The second the name spills from him, you snap your head at the man in question.

Tsu’tey tenses up under your watchful gaze, feeling a flush of heat and clamminess rise within him. He wants to look away, to avoid the intensity of your stare, but he can't bring himself to do it. It’ll make him look weak, he couldn't afford to look weak, not in front of you. And for some inexplicable reason, he actually craves your attention at the same time, whether under good reason for bad.

“You did this?” You can't believe what you're hearing. The thought that Tsu'tey was responsible for Kenuk's injuries never crossed your mind. On the one hand, it seems improbable that he would do something so reckless, but on the other hand, it fits with the abrasive and confrontational persona that you've come to associate with him.

Tsu’tey lets out a huff of frustration and crosses his arms tightly across his chest, his body language tense and defensive. “They need to learn,” he grumbles, his lips pursed as he takes a moment to consider his words, “If they can’t win against me, how can they survive out there?”

As you process his words, you realize with a sinking feeling that the "they" he's referring to are all the injured warriors who have stumbled into your hut over the past few days. Did Tsu’tey injure all of them? The thought is both impressive and upsetting, and you can't quite decide how to feel about it.

“I didn’t expect that of you,” you say, looking away and continuing to treat Kenuk. You drop the ointment in favor of picking up the leaf wrapping, “Do not worry, Kenuk. You are in great hands. I’ll take care of you anytime.” You give his upper arm a strong squeeze when you finish wrapping.

Unbeknownst to you, Tsu'tey's eyes lingered on the spot where your hand had rested on Kenuk's arm. He knows that this is your duty, one he saw you do plenty of times but that touch felt more intimate than he liked. Though he couldn’t figure out why he didn’t like it, he just felt extremely uncomfortable and irritable having to witness it.

As you exchange words of farewell with Kenuk and turn to put away your supplies, Tsu'tey lingers behind, thoughts swirl with confusion. He can't shake the feeling of unease that has settled over him. He has never felt this way, he never had to. He was confident in everything—teaching, hunting, and battle but this.. this felt different and he doesn't know how to process it. He glance at you one last time before silently exiting your hut too.

You turn back around to get more intel on the injured warriors who come to see you often, but Tsu'tey is not there like he usually is. You wonder where he could have gone, but quickly push the thought out of your mind as you greet another Na’vi walking in.

〰〰〰〰〰〰

Initially, becoming a healer wasn't your dream. Your mother, may she rest in peace, was determined to pass on the family tradition to you. The lessons on herbs and their medicinal uses felt tedious and unexciting to you. You longed to roam beyond the boundaries set by for you, to hunt like the mighty warriors you idolized and fly on the backs of Ikran without a watchful eye.

Perhaps this is why you sometimes struggle to find the gentle touch and calmness required of a healer. But Eywa, the guiding spirit of Pandora', had other plans for you. Even before your birth, she had chosen you for this path. To test your abilities, she presented you with a challenge—a friend in need, requiring your knowledge and care.

Through this test, Eywa showed you your true calling. Despite your initial reluctance, you rose to the challenge and used your skills to help your friend. And from that moment, you knew that you were destined to become a great healer, chosen by the spirit herself.

So you wondered why you she was testing you again. You had already proven your worth as a healer in the village. So why were fewer and fewer warriors seeking your assistance? Had you not fulfilled your duty correctly?

These thoughts plagued your mind as you sat in your hut, surrounded by jars of herbs and vials of medicines. You couldn't help but feel a twinge of self-doubt, wondering if perhaps you had lost your touch.

But it wasn’t adding up the more you thought it over.

You knew that every warrior who came to your hut left with the progress of being healed. You took pride in your work and tried to be as friendly as possible, never having a real disagreement with anyone. So what was the reason to your sudden decline in business? You shake your head, trying to dispel the doubts that had been creeping in. Sitting around in this hut waiting wasn’t going to help you find out faster.

Leaving your hut, you greeted the Na'vi as you walked through the village, heading towards the only place where your business thrived: the training ground. When you arrived, the training wasn't yet finished, so you stood off to the side with a few warriors who were taking a break. You were content to wait, watching as Tsu'tey led the training. This is the first time in a few days since you’ve seen him, admittedly you miss him and the aura he was giving off in the field only fueled that.

In that moment, watching Tsu'tey command the training grounds, you couldn't help but feel drawn to him in a way you never had before. The way he moved, the strength in his stance, the confidence in his voice... it was all so attractive.

You were conflicted because you knew that, in the past, you had found his demeanor aggravating and even off-putting. But here he was, exuding qualities that made your heart race and your stomach flutter. It was unnerving to feel this way, especially towards someone who had never shown you any interest or affection.

You were sure that your slow growing feelings for Tsu’tey were just a momentary lapse in judgment. After all, he was the Olo'eyktan and had important responsibilities to fulfill, which you could never be a part of.

You tried to convince yourself that your attraction to him was just a silly crush that would soon fade away, especially since it was entirely one-sided. It was a well-known fact that Tsu’tey still grieves over his previous love, and you didn't want to add to his emotional burden.

Letting out a deep sigh, you turn and spot a familiar face in the group of Na'vi. It was Kenuk, you must have missed him when you first arrived, as he was standing between two other Na'vi. A smile spreads across your face as you walk over to greet him and the others.

After exchanging pleasantries, you turn to Kenuk, "Mind if we talk?"

He looks at the other two Na'vi beside him before nodding and following you a few feet away, out of earshot. Taking a deep breath, you get straight to the point, "Why haven’t any of our people come to see me lately, do you know the reason?”

Kenuk groans and his ears pull back, anticipating the inevitable conflict. It was no secret that he frequently visited your healer's hut with the future leader of the clan, so he knew he would be caught in the middle of your mess at some point. The problem was that he didn't know what to do. Both Na'vi involved were senior to him, and whatever he said would betray one, if not the other. The weight of his dilemma was evident in his downturned expression and hesitant words.

“…I don’t know.”

Your eyes narrow as you look at Kenuk, his guilty face betraying him. He knows more than he's letting on. You don't tolerate liars and Kenuk's demeanor only confirms your suspicions.

"Are you lying to me, Kenuk?" you ask, your tone firm and unwavering.

Kenuk frowns, his ears twitching at your disappointment, “We were told not to. Uh, not exactly not to but," he trails off, struggling to explain the situation. You wait, your impatience growing by the second. Finally, he blurts out, "The Chief has been saying things."

This information catches you off guard. Why does Tsu'tey have anything to do with this? That doesn't make sense. Weren't you both just getting along? To sabotage your living... that's unforgivable. But you don't want to jump to conclusions; there has to be more.

You're hesitant to ask; this might break your calm streak. You can already feel your body heating up at the possibilities, "What kind of things?"

Kenuk shifts uneasily on his feet, looking as though he'd rather be anywhere else but here. You can practically feel the tension radiating off of him as he reluctantly begins to speak, "There have been some male Na'vi asking about you, I don’t know why. But Chief Tsu'tey," he starts, his eyes darting away from you, "He told them that you're too rough. You're the opposite of gentle, too strong."

A snarl rises up in your throat. It's always about that, isn't it? Why should a healer have to be gentle? You're proud of your strength and resilience, but it seems like others see it as a flaw. You're about to speak up when Kenuk continues, his words making your blood boil even hotter.

"And you're too strong-headed like a flathead ram and have a loose tongue. You act impulsively and fearlessly, without regard for the consequences,” he gulps, looking you in the eyes, “He says you're dangerous and should be avoided. That you'll do more harm than good, opposite of a healer.”

Your vision blurs as your anger finally boils over. You know exactly what he's getting at, bringing up that damn conversation again. The conversation that you thought bad changed everything between you two.

But he was still the same arrogant jerk, and now you were starting to regret your newly developed feelings for him. He didn't deserve that, not with the way he was acting. Who did he think he was?

The fury inside you is building with each step you take towards the training ground. Eywa may have been able to calm you in the past, but this time you're beyond her reach. The storm that is forming inside your head is one that even Eywa can't control. That man, that future Olo'eyktan, he's gone too far this time. His words about you being too strong, too strong-headed, and loose tongued have crossed a line.

As you approach the training ground, you notice that the session has ended and Tsu'tey, alone, was putting away the weapons. Your feet pound against the ground, announcing your presence before you even reach him. Tsu'tey looks up at you with a raised eyebrow, his expression curious but wary.

You stop just a foot away from him and your nostrils flare as you stare him down. You might look incredibly intimidating to you, but to him, you look like a pouty toddler.

"What is your problem?" you spit out the words, your anger palpable. The intensity of your gaze could have burned a hole through him.

Tsu'tey's focus shifts entirely to you, abandoning the weapons he was putting away. He narrows his eyes, “Whats going on?” He was confused by the urgency in your approach, as you seemed to be babbling without actually getting to the point.

"You have a lot of nerve, telling these things about me." you exclaim, your voice trembling staring at the source of your rage, “I expect better of the future clan leader!” Your hands were balled into fists at your sides, your heart pounding wildly in your chest, matching the way you were feeling.

Tsu’tey takes a moment to process your words, his eyes studying you intently. His brilliant mind races against an invisible clock, trying to formulate a solution to the problem he has caused. He didn't think you would find out about his lies, or perhaps he was in denial and not thinking rationally when he spread them.

As he stands before you, he considers apologizing for his mistake. He didn't mean to upset you, and it was never his intention to cause you pain. However, as he looks into your eyes, he remembers how the other warriors asked about you, and the brief moment he shared with Kenuk that he tried to forget.

He came to realize apologizing wasn't an option for him, despite the guilt weighing heavily on his mind. He couldn't bring himself to utter the words because he didn't feel genuine remorse for all of his actions. While he regretted that you had suffered the consequences of his lies, he couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for sabotaging the potential suitors who had shown interest in you. In his eyes, they weren't worthy of you and he couldn't bear the thought of you ending up with someone who didn't deserve your love.

He knew he was being selfish, but he couldn't help the overwhelming new feeling of possessiveness he had over you. Every time he saw someone else try to get close to you, it made his blood boil with jealousy. He knew he couldn't have you for himself, but he couldn't bear the thought of anyone else having you either. So, he used his influence to spread rumors and lies to scare off anyone who tried to pursue you.

Deep down, he knew it was wrong and he hated himself for it, but he came to really enjoy your company and he can’t continue that if you were mated. So, even though he knew he owed you an apology for his behavior, he couldn't bring himself to do it, not without admitting to himself that he was wrong in wanting you all to himself.

Despite the storm of emotions brewing inside him, Tsu’tey chooses to hide them behind a mask of indifference, "They were the truth," he says, though he immediately regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. He knows he should be honest with you, to tell you how he truly feels, but he can't bring himself to do it. "I have a duty," he continues, trying to justify his actions, "I simply directed them to someone better." His feelings for you has grown slowly and unexpectedly, yet he can't bring himself to confess his true feelings to you.

You were taken aback by his words. They hit you like a punch in the gut, leaving you feeling winded and vulnerable. Your mind races, trying to make sense of what he's saying, but his words are like a jumbled mess in your head.

“How could you say that?” Your voice is barely a whisper as you go silent, the realization hitting you hard. This had to be linked to your past somehow. You look back up, your eyes filling with hurt and confusion, “That’s not me anymore. I’m not that reckless girl anymore. I’m capable, just like every healer here.” You try to reason, try to get him to see that you have changed, that you're not the same person he once knew. You thought he saw that you did.

Tsu’tey's face hardens, his eyes flashing with a mix of frustration and resentment, “I did what is best for our people.” Another lie, yet he still couldn't stop.

You feel betrayed as the conversation goes on, your anger rising just as quickly as it came to you in a moment of vulnerability, “What about me?! Did you not even consider what that means for me?” You feel hysterical, like you are imagining all this. You had to be.

Tsu’tey's jaw clenches, straightening his posture as he tilts his head tauntingly at you, “What about you? It’s very selfish of you to not consider your people.” He smacks his tongue on his teeth, “You are everything I said and possibly more. I did what I had to do. If you don’t like it, you’ll have to learn to live with it.”

That was it.

That was your 13th reason last straw.

“I hate you,” You confess coldly, looking him dead in the eyes, “and you're the one causing trouble, Tsu’tey, not me” You turn away slightly, a scowl that could rival his play on your lips and your eyes scanning him in disgust, “You may be the Olo'eyktan, but you don’t deserve it.. nor my respect.” You leave after those words, wanting to get as far away from him as possible, before he breaks your heart even more.

〰〰〰〰〰〰

It has been two long, torturous weeks since the bitter argument that left you feeling raw and vulnerable. The memory of Tsu’tey's harsh words still stings like an open wound, and you find yourself unable to shake off the anger and hurt that consumes you. You refuse to be anywhere near him, knowing that the mere sight of him would trigger a fresh wave of emotions that you are not ready to face.

Despite knowing how ridiculous it is to completely avoid someone in a community as small as yours, you can't bring yourself to do anything else. You spend most of your time cooped up in your healer's hut, only venturing out occasionally to hunt for herbs or attend to few non warrior patients. The thought of bumping into Tsu’tey fills you with dread and you do everything in your power to stay away from him.

You avoid the training ground like a plague, knowing that Tsu’tey is often there, leading the warriors through their daily drills. You know that as a healer, it's your duty to attend to the warriors' injuries and ailments, but you deny yourself that luxury. You can't bear the thought of being in the same space as him, even for a few moments.

But then, Tsu’tey and a small group of warriors leave on a hunting trip, and it feels like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. You can finally breathe again, without the constant fear of running into him. You know it's not a permanent solution, but for now, it's enough. In his absence, you find peace, and you try to focus on your work, hoping that time will heal the wounds that Tsu’tey has left behind.

Within his absence, you discovered yourself being drawn outside more and more often, collecting an assortment of herbs for your medicinal balm while soaking up the natural beauty that surrounded you.

In moments of pure stillness, your mind would occasionally wander back to the conversation with Tsu’tey, but in the midst of this tranquil setting, it all seemed insignificant. It was as if Eywa was leading you towards a celestial epiphany, prompting you to recall the things you had forgotten and encouraging you to generate and safeguard something entirely novel.

Even now with you were so lost in the beauty of the forest, eyes closed and queue connected, that you were completely oblivious to the sound of footsteps approaching from behind. It wasn't until a hand gently touched your shoulder that you jolted in surprise, quickly un-sheathing your weapon and whirling around to confront the intruder.

You raise your brows in shock before quickly lowering your weapon as you recognize Raa'te, one of the warriors who had stayed behind while the others were on the hunting trip. Despite Tsu'tey's words, he has been one of the few warriors who haven't stopped coming to your hut, and you were grateful for his company.

Over the past few weeks, The two of you have been spending more time together lately, and you've come to appreciate his kind and gentle nature. He was a rare and refreshing presence in your life..

"Raa'te, you scared me," you say with a chuckle, shielding your weapon and felt a sense of relief that it's him and not someone else.

He grins mischievously, his hands still raised in a peaceful gesture, "I mean no harm, I promise. I just wanted to see if you wanted to come with me to see the return of the hunting party. The horn has sounded, and they should be back any minute now." He lowers his hands, peering down at you softly.

You hesitate for a moment, not wanting to be anywhere near Tsu’tey, but the hopeful expression Raa'te was throwing at you is too much to resist. Signing, you nod your head, "Okay, let's go," you mumble, grabbing your bag of herbs and going towards the village together.

On the way back to the village with Raa’te, the two of you engage in light conversation. He seems genuinely interested in getting to know more about you, and you find yourself opening up to him more and more. It's a refreshing change from the other warriors who often just talk about themselves.

Raa’te even takes the initiative to carry your bag for you, a small act of kindness that doesn't go unnoticed. As you approach the village, you can hear the sound of cheers and excitement in the distance. The hunting party must be returned.

At the front of the hunting party, Tsu'tey stood with his chest puffed out, basking in the cheers and adoration of his people. You couldn't help but feel a pang of disgust in your stomach at his display of arrogance.

It’s frustrating how someone can evoke such strong emotions in you, both positive and negative. You shake your head, trying to push those thoughts away, but your attention is drawn back to him, much to your annoyance. After all he's done, there were plenty of others in the tribe with better potential.

Raa’te was full of surprises today. He leans in close to your ear and whispers, "I could have gone on the hunt, you know?" You turn to him with a curious expression, wondering why he didn't. He smiles at you, thinking you look adorable and then blurts out what's been on his mind lately, "because I'm more interested in you right now."

You felt your cheeks heat up at his boldness, looking down to avoid his gaze. Despite the butterflies fluttering in your stomach, you appreciated his honesty.

You couldn't deny that Raa'te's presence had a certain charm to it, and you found yourself drawn to him in ways that surprised you. His kindness and genuine interest in you were a welcome change from the tension and uncertainty that seemed to permeate every interaction you had with Tsu'tey.

"You're courting me?" The question slips from your lips before you can stop yourself, surprised and a little embarrassed that you hadn't noticed until now. How could you have missed the signs? Raa'te had always been there for you, lending a helping hand and offering thoughtful little gifts that always brought a smile to your face.

Raa'te chuckles at your question, his gaze curious as he looks at you, "You haven't noticed?"

You shake your head, feeling a little ashamed that you hadn't seen his intentions before. "I've been busy with other things," you murmur, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. But the truth was, you had been so wrapped up in Tsu'tey that you hadn't even considered the possibility of being with someone else.

"Like the Chief?" Raa'te asks knowingly, and you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks more at the mention of Tsu'tey's name.

You snap your head up, your eyes wide with surprise, "How did you—"

"The whole village knows," Raa'te interrupts, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You let out a frustrated groan, dropping your head in embarrassment at the news. It was mortifying, but in hindsight, not entirely unexpected. Anything related to the Chief had a way of spreading like wildfire in the village, so it was only a matter of time before rumors started to circulate. You just didn't think it would happen so quickly.

"I'm sorry, Raa'te. I didn't mean to lead you on," you say, looking back up at him with a heavy sense of guilt. He had been putting in effort, and you hadn't reciprocated at all.

He gives a nonchalant shrug, "It's okay. I just thought I might have a better chance if he was out of the picture. Guess that's not happening," he says, gesturing behind you.

You turn around to see what he's looking at, and your eyes meet Tsu'tey's. The Chief is staring at you with an unreadable expression, and for a moment, you feel a rush of panic. You quickly turn back to Raa'te, hoping that Tsu'tey didn't hear your conversation.

Despite not hearing the conversation, Tsu’tey’s sharp mind allowed him to discern the situation to a certain extent. He had learned from his group of warriors that Raa’te had chosen to remain behind to court you properly, which only stirred up feelings of anger within him. He knew he had no right to feel jealous or resentful towards Raa’te, especially after the way he had mistreated you. He understood that he was no more deserving of you than anyone else in the clan.

Even with this knowledge, Tsu’tey couldn’t shake the terrible feeling he had inside. After the first week of avoiding him, he had plenty of time to reflect on his mistakes and realized that he had made a grave error.

The fact that you were avoiding him hurt him deeply, even though he knew it was justified. However, a nagging voice in his head convinced him that if you were doing it on purpose, he should do the same. He knew it didn’t make sense, but he couldn’t help but feel terrible and foolish for giving in to that temptation.

As he watched you walk away with Raa’te, it felt like you were taking his heart with you. He couldn't believe that he had caused this outcome upon his return. It was cruel, and he knew he deserved it, but at the same time, he didn't feel like he should have to endure it. All he had to do was apologize, but he wondered if it was enough for you to forgive him.

He truly hoped so because the thought of seeing you with someone else was going to drive him up a tree. He regretted not telling you how he truly felt and why he acted the way he did. The fact that he couldn't handle his emotions like he would with an Ikran made him even more frustrated.

As night falls, Tsu’tey finds himself determined to confront the confusing and unsettling situation between him and you. With a sense of unease gnawing at his gut, he makes his way to your home, hoping to get some clarity and put an end to whatever this was.

However, his heart sinks when he finds your hut empty, and he can't help but let his mind wander into dark thoughts and "what ifs." In a last-ditch attempt, he decides to check the healer's hut, where he heaves a sigh of relief at the sight of you shuffling around your medicine.

As the drape of your hut flutters, you stop your work and look towards the entrance, hoping it's someone who won't disrupt your peace. Unfortunately, it's Tsu'tey, his ears flat back and a scowl etched on his face. You immediately regret looking up as you feel a rush of tension in the air.

The expression on his face is still hostile, but there's a hint of vulnerability that you've never seen before. You both stand there in silence, neither of you uttering a word. The atmosphere is so thick you can practically cut it with a knife.

His voice, low yet firm, echoes inside your little hut, "I'm sorry."

Did the Olo'eyktan—no, did Tsu’tey just say "I'm sorry" to you? You wonder if you're starting to hallucinate after seeing him return. You can't remember him ever apologizing before, at least not without a fight.

"Great Mother," you mutter in disbelief, your eyes widening. You struggle to process his words, wondering if this is truly the same Tsu'tey you know. "Who are you and what have you done with our Chief?" you ask, half-jokingly. This behavior is unlike him, leaving you uncertain.

His glare brings you back to reality, silently conveying the seriousness of his words. You take a moment to gather yourself, realizing that this apology is genuine and you must respond accordingly.

“I acknowledge the strength it took for you to admit that you were wrong. Thank you,” you say, your brows furrowing as you glance off to the side. It wasn't exactly what you wanted to say, but you had been mulling over the situation for weeks and decided that being the bigger person was the best course of action.

Tsu'tey notices your hesitation immediately and steps further into the hut, basking in the dim glow of the a flickering flame. Your eyes drift back to him unconsciously, taking in his handsome features - his high cheekbones and chiseled jaw - and you find yourself falling for him all over again.

"But?" he prompts, sensing that there is more to your statement than you are letting on.

You pause, chewing on the inside of your cheek as your eyes flicker between his, which seem more honest and vulnerable than you've ever seen them. What were you going to say? How could you say it? Should you say it?

"Just say it," he urges, his scowl growing deeper. He was growing impatient in a situation that deserved patience. He knew this, but he also knew he didn't want to wait any longer. "Speak your mind freely."

"I thought you said I was too loose-tongued," you state a little too harshly, as the wound was only two weeks old.

Tsu'tey purses his lips, answering without hesitation, "You do. You're not afraid to state your opinion to our people or your Olo'eyktan," he glances downwards at the ground. "I respect it."

You tilt your head in confusion at his statement. Wasn't he the same person who spread rumors about you and drove away your business? It's flattering that he thinks you're not afraid to speak your mind, but it doesn't change the fact that his actions caused you harm.

Curious, you test the waters, "What about me being stubborn?" His eyes flicker up to meet yours and his lips twitch in response,

"You are. You've been avoiding me since the fight. I'll say that's stubborn enough," he admits.

You pout and cross your arms defensively, "With reason!" you retort. After a moment of hesitation, you ask, "What about me not being gentle? You have everyone thinking I'm some woman who knows nothing but toughness."

Finally, a playful smirk spreads across his face, his eyes lighting up. What happened to the Tsu’tey who wanted to take this serious? "That's also true. I meant it when I said you're better off as a warrior... but you're great as a healer too."

There was a heavy moment of silence as you processed his words, your body feeling hot under his intense gaze, but you didn’t look away. You were debating on what to do next, whether to take his words to heart, or forgive him. He sounded sincere enough, but was it enough?

“Why…Why hurt me?” You finally mutter, the question that’s been weighing on your mind for weeks. It was the one that you desperately didn’t want to share, the one that would show so much vulnerability that you didn’t know if you wanted to give that to him yet.

But Tsu'tey understood the weight of your question, his smirk fading as he grew serious. serious. A few seconds passed before he sighed heavily through his nostrils, “I wasn’t myself.” He confess, continuing as he caught your look of confusion, “My pride and foolish jealousy blinded me. I failed to see that my actions were hurting you, and that was the last thing I wanted.”

You do a double take as he continues speaking, his vulnerability at its highest peak, “I was a skxqwng for letting myself become clouded with such feelings but I didn’t know how to deal with them.”

“What are you trying to say, Tsu’tey?” You ask, holding your breath as his expression grows softer by the second. It's a side of him you've never seen before, and you don't think anyone else has either. But it has your heart threatening to jump out of your chest and your stomach doing silly flips.

“I’m saying… Oel ngati kameie, [Name].” He walks closer, stopping in front of you. He raises his hand to your cheek, which you lean into as you stare at him in disbelief. All the anger you felt has vaporized like it was never there because all you can see is Tsu’tey looking at you like your the most treasured thing in the world, “If you’ll have me, I will make my wrongs right.”

You take a deep breath and close your eyes for a moment, trying to ground yourself. It feels like a dream, but the warmth of Tsu’tey’s touch on your face is real. You open your eyes again, looking up at him, “Oel ngati kameie, Tsu’tey.” You whisper breathlessly, feeling the weight of the moment.

Tsu’tey’s eyes light up at your words, a wide smile spreading across his face as he brings his other hand up to cup your cheek. He looks at you so happily that the sun would be envious of his light. You realize that you really like this version of Tsu'tey and want to see more of it.

He looks down at your lips, and you can feel your own breath hitching in your throat, “Can I kiss you, Yawne?” He mumble, looking back back in your eyes.

You don’t even need to think about it – the answer is a resounding yes. You want to feel his lips on yours, to hold him closer, to lose yourself in the moment.

Without answering, you grab him by the shoulders and pull him towards you, pressing your lips to his in a fervent, passionate kiss. The space between you feels too great, and you crave the feeling of his body against yours.

It was in this moment that you realized how thankful you were for all the ups and downs that had led you here. The moments where you had lost your cool, the times when you had been too stubborn to see the truth, and the moments of sheer frustration had all been worth it. Without them, you wouldn't be here, in Tsu'tey's arms, feeling like you had finally found your home.

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the-kr8tor · 7 months

Note

TTN hobie and reader where reader is back from LA and hobie is showing her his spider powers. I think it would be interesting to see r’s reaction to seeing them irl and not just on a tv across the other side of the world 😭

Also I can’t remebr my exact wording of my requests from when I wrote them the first time so I hope these match up well with the ones from before 😅

-🕊️ anon

Thank you for another TTN request! ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, TTN! Hobie, TTN! Reader, FLUFF.

Thread the Needle Masterlist

TTN oneshots

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

"Have to tell you somethin'" Hobie suddenly pipes up while you two are comfortably cuddling on the couch, watching some action movie that you've grown to actually like despite the crazy plot and mid acting. He hasn't been paying close attention to it, how could he when his secret gnaws at the back of his head?

"Hmm?" You look up from where you're resting your head on his chest, hand splayed over his abdomen where his shirt has ridden up. He doesn't mind that you're basically groping the muscles underneath since he's doing the same thing to the soft skin of your hip.

The TV's light shines on the side of your face, he takes you in, inhaling sharply, Hobie cups your chin, getting your attention. "Need to tell you somethin'" he emphasizes.

"Okay" you sit straight at his sudden serious tone, different from the flirty tone he sported a few minutes ago.

"I'm Spider-Man"

"Oh" you hold your chest in relief. "I know, Hobs" your voice is full of affection and fondness for the man before you, holding and kneading at his shoulder blade in an attempt to calm his fast heartbeat.

Hobie's eyes grow wide, he watches you in awe for figuring it out. He lays his forehead over yours in relief, relieved that you took the revelation well. There's always that gut feeling from Hobie that you've always known, you chose to wait for him to tell you himself. He's grateful for you, for waiting and staying with him even after keeping it a secret from you.

You can't blame him though, he just doesn't want you to worry. Love does that sometimes.

"And here I thought you would scream in surprise" Hobie pulls away, heart eyes staring back at his best friend.

"Do you want me to? I could still do that" you inhale like you're readying yourself to yell. Hobie lets you act surprised, your voice echoing out in the dark, louder than the TV's volume. "O.M.G!" He rolls his eyes with a smile. "You're the Spider-Man? The same one from the telly?! Oh the act of betrayal the backstabbing hurt"

You put the back of your hand over to your forehead like a silent film actress in distress. "Hobie?! The same Hobie that I've loved since childhood is a vigilante?! Oh my word! How could I not foresee this?!" Cupping his face for emphasis,"oh! My heart!" You act better than the actors on the screen, earning a deep laugh from Hobie.

"Alright, got it. You figured me out" Hobie stops your oscar worthy performance with his hand covering your mouth.

You lick his hand in retaliation. He snaps his hand back, wiping your drool over the blanket spread over your laps.

"I know you, Hobie. The second they got footage of you I knew it was you. I mean, you were wearing the vest I made you!" You chuckle. "I know every stitch and indents on that bad boy" poking his chest, you sigh, catching your breath.

Hobie smiles, "still, should've told you sooner. Didn't want you to worry"

"It comes with the territory of loving you, can't avoid worrying about you all the time." Your heart clenches at the thought of him getting horribly injured. "Back in L.A everytime the mail's late I worry, everytime I see you on the telly swinging, beating the crap out of a would be villain, I worry. That's my job and I've accepted it the moment I fell for you."

Hobie holds you tighter, listening in with bated breath. "Spider-Man's a part of you, and I love every bit of you. I won't stop you from doing it, just come home to me every night. That's all I ask. I'll support you however I can"

"That's all I need," Hobie pressed a heavy kiss on your lips, you barely felt the single tear rolling on your cheek. "Love you"

"Love you too." You sniff, peppering his cheek with numerous kisses. "Thank you for telling me" you snuggle deeper by his side. He replies with a kiss on the crown of your head. "Because I've got some suit ideas that I've been holding on to for so long!"

You stand in awe, eyes still staring at the remote in his hand. "I don't think I'll ever get used to that, but I can try"

"Yeah? You've got sketches of 'em?"

"Yep! I'll just shut the telly off and I'll show it to you properly" you stand up to grab the remote from the coffee table. Hobie beats you to it, aiming his hidden webshooters from under his sleeve, he webs up the device, bringing it towards him.

"You'll love this then" Hobie webs up your waist, you twirl around until you land on his lap. He catches you swiftly as you get acclimated from the dizziness.

You laugh giddily, "Heard you can stick to walls too" holding his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. Hobie squeezes it thrice.

He guffaws, slotting his face right on the crook of your neck. "I'll show you everything"

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chococolte · 2 years

Note

May i please request SAGAU with scaramouche, tighnari, cyno and kazuha "You have such beautifull hair. They would look stunning if you grew them out. I promise i would help you take care of it"

event closed!

word count. 1.2k

୨୧ — ꒰ cw. yandere, unhealthy relationships, possessive & obsessive thoughts/behaviors, power dynamics, religious + cult themes, sagau + cult au, g/n reader. i do not condone yanderes irl.

୨୧ — ꒰ a/n. sorry i haven't posted in a hot minute, currently at my grandmothers & my brother has the flu, so i've had a hard time focusing on writing T_T

scaramouche

"You have such beautiful hair. It would look stunning if you grew it out. I promise I'll help you take care of it."

Your voice is soft like a lamb's fleece. His heart clenches from your tone, twisting as if pulled tight by an invisible string. You run your fingers through his hair, playing with it like it's something to be treasured. You touch him as if he's something precious; something to be nurtured and protected.

The thought hurts more than he thought it would. And Scaramouche detests the feeling building in his chest, hammering against his ribcage— burrowing deep within him, far enough he can no longer reach it. Far enough that he can't stop it, anymore.

Scaramouche shudders when your hands brush against the nape of his neck, warm against the cold of his skin. His heart pulls once again, teetering to the edge, and it takes all of his will not to slip deeper into your warmth. You tug at his dark violet hair, rubbing his strands in between your fingers as if his hair is the smooth petal of a sakura bloom.

I promise, you say. Scaramouche wants to believe you. He wants to throw everything away and entrust himself to you in his entirety. He wants to believe that you will be the singular god, the one person, to never betray him; he wants to think you will never throw him away. Your promise is small, but Scaramouche has lost so much. He has already shown you too much.

"If that is what you wish for," he says, voice weak. He doesn't bother to bite back, to snap at you with unkindness; instead, all he thinks is of your words.

As he closes his eyes, the back of his eyelids dance with stars in the shape of you. You braid his hair and paint the dull white world he's known for his entire life with color. You fill his world with laughter, and you don't ask for anything in return.

He hopes you keep your promise.

tighnari

Tighnari can't bear to meet your eyes.

Your hands are still running through his hair, pushing his bangs to the side. Your fingers glide over his forehead, and though your touch is faint, he feels the warmth radiating from your fingertips.

Tighnari vaguely realizes he should respond to you, but the words die on his tongue, stay frozen in his throat— his ears and tail still twitch and wag, his shoulders still shake and flitter. He tries to swallow it down, but finds himself suffocating.

He has never been brought to his knees like this before. He has never been speechless, nor thoughtless— his mind only a jumble of words and meaningless phrases. His only coherent thought is of you; you, dressed in your light and suffused with your kindness. You, bright and effervescent, the ineffable and infallible god. You, his god, his creator— you, loved by his soul and tangled within.

You don't rush him, continuing to play with the blue of his hair. You're gentle, soft like dewdrops on his skin. Tighnari wonders if you're being patient, or if you threw the words carelessly enough that you did not care for his response. Even if thought nothing of him, Tighnari wouldn't mind, he'd barely feel the course of rage; he would be saddened, but to worship you alone is enough.

Tighnari still clings to his pride, to the shame he would feel if you saw him so desperate— he resists the urge to fall deeper into you with every one of your lingering brushes against his skin, reminding himself that you have no use of a worshiper tainted by greed.

"I…" The rock in Tighnari's throat finally lets up, allowing him to breathe. He hopes you don't notice the softness in his tone, the slight creek of his voice. "For you, Your Grace… anything."

cyno

Your fingers thread through Cyno's white hair uninterrupted, even despite his sudden stillness.

A scorching heat envelops his cheeks like the desert sun, searing and almost cruel. Cyno feels like a fire has been lit underneath his skin, burning and contorting to the form of his face. He wonders if you've noticed. He wonders if you care, though the thought only lasts for a brief moment before he rips it apart.

You softly twirl some of his hair, rolling it around your finger. Cyno tries to keep himself composed, attempting to face the roaring of his heart with equanimity. His hands still lightly tremble in his lap, reeling from your compliment, small as it might've been.

He hopes you've noticed. But Cyno wouldn't blame you if you hadn't, or if you didn't care. Your will is sacred, meant to be revered and venerated; to force his own on yours is sacrilegious. To expect you to do anything for him is foolish. That you like one aspect of him should be enough.

Yet, Cyno can't help himself from leaning into your words. To be special to you, to hold a place in your heart— to be the one who you love. Cyno would never imagine himself worthy enough to stand beside you, never have the gall to think himself deserving of it— but his heart still sings, still drones in his chest from the implication of your words.

You care, minute as it may be. That is enough for him. Even if you can't keep your promise to him, he will keep it for you.

"Your will is my command," Cyno replies, eyes hard and resolute.

kazuha

Your fingers are tangled in Kazuha’s hair.

He doesn't dare to complain, even when you accidentally pull too hard. Even when you latch onto a small knot and tug, he keeps his lips pursed tight, unwilling to make even a small noise.

Your promise is a small one. It would be easy for you to forget. It would be easy for you to take it back. Kazuha wouldn't blame you; only feel the dull ache in his chest that rumbles whenever he is without you. Still, he latches onto your words, onto what he knows you only uttered without thinking.

Kazuha wants you to stay. He likes it when you're near. Your presence is soft. You feel like home. Your touch is love itself, despite how his skin burns every time you brush against it.

If he closes his eyes tight enough, breathes in your scent well enough, Kazuha begins to find the pain almost pleasurable— accidental as it may be, it stops being a jolt or a groan. Only more of you, of your warmth, your comfort.

It's not as painful anymore. It's just you, after all; and you could do nothing to him to make him stop loving you. Rip his hair, or stab his heart— if it is from you, the maker of his everything, the owner of his soul; who is he to deny you?

You take his hair and braid it, one lock over another. Despite the moment of silence, you continue unimpeded, a soft smile on your face. It is with this that Kazuha is thankful you can't see his expression.

His eyes crinkle at the corners, a glimmer of fervor and quiet adoration dancing within.

“Whatever you wish,” Kazuha eyes, smile audible in his voice.

#[🦇] — my writing #genshin impact #yandere genshin #genshin x reader #yandere genshin x reader #sagau #self aware genshin #sagau scaramouche #sagau kazuha #sagau tighnari #sagau cyno #yandere scaramouche #yandere kazuha #yandere tighnari #yandere cyno #gender neutral reader

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luffyvace · 5 months

Text

Aizawa crush headcanons

”aizawa crush headcanons, but like make him realize he’s in love with you at the end, so that like, he can do something about it or he can’t ignore it”

asked by a good friend of mine irl. she didn’t mention gender so i’m going with afab since i haven’t written for that yet ♡

(ps i’m not going to mention what type of person he would like unless you req that i want to keep this as neutral as possible)

aizawa having a crush on you means finding cats to take care of together

it means warm, comfortable, solidarity silence

he would still be himself around you for sure, he would want you to like him for who he is

changing himself is too much effort. if you don’t like him back he’ll have to move on whether it hurts or not

people still need teaching and saving after all and the world isn’t going to stop just for him

being a realist he’s aware of that

but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to clean up if you go out somewhere together (prior to dating, first impressions are everything)

he wouldn’t be afraid to tell you like it is if you ask for his opinion,

in his eyes sugarcoating things aren’t going to help you

but he wouldn’t necessarily be as harsh on you as he is on his students or mic

to woo you he wouldn’t really do anything above and beyond

he acknowledges that he likes you but he doesn’t want to waste time if his crush on you doesn’t blossom into something bigger

so instead of going all out he relies on things like little compliments, little favors and quality time

examples;

”you don’t look half bad today l/n”

”not too shabby, i guess” *combs hand through hair* (yeah that’s another thing, he’ll do little gestures to sway you but we’ll dabble into that more later)

”you smell fresh, that’s a nice aroma”

for little favors……

you: “ahh crap i left my keys in my car”

him: *magically knows a way to open locked out cars* you: *clearly having a rough day* him: *opens a window for you to vent* you: “awww man the last of ____ is sold out!”

him: “hmm..well, i’ll keep an eye out for when it’s back in stock” *the very next day* “oh yeah turns out i already had one i just forgot, here you can have it”

im not lying he actually did have one and forgot

as far as quality time:

inviting each other over for movie nights (he always falls alseep so you get most of the popcorn- 🎉 unless it’s his favorite movie- then he stays up eyes red and all, while sucking nothing out of an empty juicy box)

although movie night only happens when your closer friends though- he keeps his friend circle small because anyone could betray him and he doesn’t like people (he doesn’t hate them either he just stays to himself)

quality time for him can also be texting and checking up on each other

it doesn’t always have to be physical for him to feel appreciated

if YOU want to sway HIM though

get him a cat

self explanatory

but you can also listen to him when he talks, shoulder massages (only when your real close tho), give it to him straight.. definitely don’t be phony…and yeah!

pretty much be yourself

if he doesn’t fall for you himself there’s no way to convince him to

and if he falls for you it’s not for any facade you put on

its for your real true self

your personality.

he accepts your flaws and who you are but he will talk to you about bettering yourself a few times if they’re really bad and habitual (which he’s perfect if you have low self esteem because he’ll help you realize you might be overthinking and underestimating yourself, bringing you back to reality like the realist he is)

he’s not necessarily judgmental though

i feel like the part of him that’s not afraid to tell it like it is, is being misunderstood as him being judgmental

anyway that’s for when he has a crush on you

now its time for love

😍

okay so what (for), when, where and why right?

(“what about who? 🤓☝️“ YOU, FOOL!)

so what (for):

i dabbled in this okay? he loves your personality

for your flaws, your strengths, your weaknesses, your IQ (high or low), your fears

he loves everything about you

when?:

probably when you guys are pretty close

not him and mic close

but y’all have been friends for some time now

i say a couple of months

he doesn’t fall fast

maybe first though, if you an oblivious typa person

where (does he realize);

he was probably sitting on his couch after dinner, waiting for his shower to get hot, snug as a bug in his sleeping bag, drinkin a juicy box.

see the vision?

okay

so he was thinkin n thinkin n thinkin…

about you.

wait.

about you

why was he thinking so much about you.

omg wait..

he just remembered..

your beautiful smile (don’t care if it’s crooked, missing teeth, over/underbite- it’s GOREGEOUS)

your beautiful hair

your beautiful eyes

your personality

he realized he was thinking about you so much because…

he loves you

sits there head empty for a hot minute…

then falls asleep..

(rip water bill- shower still running)

why?:

wym why he fell in love? your YOU!!

your amazing even if he doesn’t say it all the time

or even if you don’t think it

even if no else thinks it!

someone does!

him!

he’s not the type of person to romanticize the person he loves

but he does accept you!

but as i said he loves you most for personality!

purely, truly—you

now let’s dabble back into the little gestures he’ll do to sway you once he realizes he loves you

for one like i said he’ll comb his hair in his fingers

and if he sees you find that attractive he’ll do it a little more around you

now keep in mind

your special

he doesn’t go around doing things like that for just anyone

no matter how small the change if it’s not beneficial he won’t do it

but this is beneficial

because he’s trying to court you ;)

he loves you, and he wants you to love him back now :)

but anyways

back on topic

he’ll also shrink his personal bubble around you

so now you can;

stand a little closer than normal

brush your fingers together

have your arms side by side

touch knees together when sitting

lay your head in his lap during movie night and he won’t say anything

(he wouldn’t pet your head but he’s not going to move you either)

rest your head on his shoulder as he does stuff/work (usually in private like when he’s planning his lessons on weekends)

speaking of that you can now come over unannounced and he’ll be glad to see you, ask you about your day, etc

back on topic to gestures he does,

his favors can get more personal,

like if you need to run errands but aren’t feeling well he’ll go shopping for you

(although i will say he doesn’t like shopping and has no idea what brands of products you normally buy he’ll do it to help you out)

he’ll also feel comfortable putting his arm on your shoulder (not around, on)

the gestures aren’t a lot because he isn’t the most cuddly guy (in my realistic headcanons)

but they mean something to you

AN: i tried to write canon aizawa more than fanon because it’s better that way to me but if anyone wants a little more cuddly/fanon aizawa i’d be happy to give it to them

i’m really happy with the way this turned out so i hope everyone can enjoy as well

ps: if you want specifically how he asks you out id love to do that (i might do it anyways 😋)

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chishiyaisasnack · 9 months

Text

Dare, part 6

Part 5

Hi and welcome back! This is a direct continuation of part 5, so read up on that if you don’t remember it.

Disclaimer! This is smut and smut only. Do not read if you aren’t of age or uncomfortable with that topic. It is pure fiction (it’s always consentual in my fics though), always use a condom and ask for consent irl.

It’s written and posted on mobile so I apologize for any wierd formatting.

The sun had almost started to rise when you got the okay to go home from your stake out. You were tired and ready to be back in your bed, pulling the cover over your head and sulking in peace, but you knew that it was still a long way to go before you would be back at your room at the Beach. You couldn’t believe that you once again had fallen for Chishiyas games, that you had let your guard down and went along with his stupid idea, and stupid methods to get you to do what he wanted. You were fuming, mostly at yourself, for letting him win.

The long descend down the buildings staircases felt like an eternity, especially having to walk next to a smiling and proud Chishiya, strutting along with his head held high and hands in his pockets.

”Are you still being a sore loser? I thought the orgasm would cheer you up.” Chishiyas voice rang through your ears as the echo of it travelled down the walls of the long concrete walls.

Yes, you were still a sore loser and no, the orgasm hadn’t cheered you up at all, rather the contrary and left you feeling whatever the female version of blue balled were. Here you’d been thinking that you and Chishiya got off together but in reality he just climbed twenty flights of stairs and then watched you for god knows how long while you were knuckles deep into yourself fantasising about how it was his fingers doing it. You were utterly disappointed in the reality of the situation, and still mad at him for scaring the hell out of you.

”Did you even jerk off?” If this was a cartoon you would have bolts of lightning shooting out of your eyes when you gave him the biggest side eye that you could.

”I had to climb all these stairs so a hand down my pants would be very inconvinient” His satisfied smile was glowing in the first rays of the sun that was shining in through the windows covering one of the walls, giving you a beautiful view over the city, a view that was blocked by his dumb head.

”How could you do all… that, without at least getting hard?”

Chishiya shrugged, like it was no big deal at all. His nonchalant reaction made you see red. That was it, if he wasn’t going to play along with his own game, you were going make him hard yourself.

You pushed him up against the wall, putting your hand on the back of his head so that it wouldn’t hurt him, and then pulled his face towards yours as your lips crashed into his. You thought that he’d stop you, taunt you, tease you for wanting him again already, but instead he let your tounge meet his as he pulled you closer by your hips, hands holding you with almost bruising force. All the need that he had created by talking to you over that walkie talkie was erupting withing you, pouring out into your veins and leaving you with a hunger that only Chishiya could satisfy. Your hands gripped his hoodie, pushing yourself up against him as close as you could, a whimper escaping you when he turned you both around until you were the one caught intbetween the wall and him. His leg forced it’s way between yours and you instinctivly started to grind against his thigh, no longer concious of your bodys actions, all your focus was on how his tounge played with yours and the warm breath that brushed over your face whenever you stopped long enough to breathe.

When his lips left yours and started to make their way down your throat you couldn’t help but to whine with every kiss he placed on you. You leaned your head to the side, letting him explore your neck and shoulders until you couldn’t take it anymore.

”Chishiya” you breathed out, whining as he nipped on your sensitive skin.

”Yes?” His voice was hoarse, warm against your ear, before placing his lips under it, once again kissing and licking his way down your neck.

”Have you ever had office sex?” Chishiya stopped in his motions and looked up at you, lips wet and swollen and so captivating that you had to stop yourself from throwing yourself at him again. Not yet.

”No.” His eyes were clouded with need and curiosity when they stared back into yours. You wanted nothing more than to pull him towards you and devour him.

”Wanna try?”

You both rushed to the door closest to you, swinging it open and taking a look at the office in front of you. It was a big open landscape type office, desks spread all over the room and big windows looking out over the city that spanned out over the first glimpse of the sun over the horizon. Deciding that the desk closest to you would do the trick, you took Chishiya by the wrist and pulled him with you, only turning around to face him when you were trapped between the desk and him. As soon as your eyes met he crashed his lips into yours once more, fingers threading through your hair and his body pressing you back until the were no more room for you to move. The silence was cut by a heavy object - a book maybe - falling to the floor with a loud bang, but it didn’t faze you since Chishiyas lips were on your neck again, hot and hungry, kissing and licking their way down to your collarbone, earning whimpers of approval from you every time he connected to your skin. Your hands were gripping the fabric on his shoulders, keeping you grounded as you felt his hands moving down your back, over your skirt, then down your upper thighs before grabbing them and lifting you up so that you were sitting on the desk behind you, still not leaving any space between his body and yours.

”Stay there” he whispered, his hands moving up under your skirt, slow and sensual, making you long for the touch you knew were coming.

You gladly followed his order and leaned back on your hands. The desk was cold beneath them but the warmth from Chishiya was heating you up from wherever his body touched yours. You felt his hands move down your thighs and when he knelt down between them the anticipation sent electricity through your whole body. He pushed your skirt up until it bunched around your hips, hooked his fingers on the waistband of your panties - not without stroking over the white bow that you’d been teasing him about - and pulled them down your legs, throwing them somewhere on the floor for you to look for later.

Chishiyas eyes were focused, knowing exactly what he wanted, and he moved fast to get it. You didn’t have time to blink before he had pushed your legs open and slid his tounge all over your center, parting your folds and landing on your clit, tasting you like there were no tomorrow. The moan you let out was filled with lust, the feeling of his mouth sending waves of pleasure through you. He expertly circled your clit, flattened his tounge over you, dove into you while pressing his tounge against your walls, over and over again until your head was spinning. Fuck, how was he so good at this?

”Chishiya… yes…” you cried out as your hand flew down to grip his hair, pulling him closer to you as your hips started to roll against his mouth. You let your head fall back, mouth fall open and your eyes fall closed as you concentration was on Chishiyas tounge and how incredible it felt when it flicked over your clit again. That warmth in your belly was burning hotter by the second and you knew you were getting close, but before you were able to reach your climax he pulled off you, breathing heavily and with dark eyes looking into yours.

”Get up.” His voice was raspy and it stole your breath away. The fire in your body continued to burn hot, watching him stand up and impatiently dragging you off the desk before spinning you around and pinning you down on the desk so you were bent forward and in a perfect position for him to fuck you from behind. Papers scattered everywhere as you put your arms in front of you for support, leaning on your elbows to prepare for the weight of Chishiya behind you. You stuck your ass out, giving him easy acess, and it didn’t go unnoticed.

Chishiya worked fast, pushing the fabric of you skirt over your waist and running his hands over your ass before making one hand grab onto your hip, his fingertips digging into your skin until it almost hurt. You heard him shuffle around behind you - you guessed that he was freeing himself from his shorts and underwear - and when you felt the tip of his cock against your entrance you desperately pushed yourself back against him, wordlessly begging him to fuck you. And he did.

You both moaned in unison when he pushed all the way in, the feeling of his warm, hard cock finally being inside you lit every nerve in your body on fire and you instinctivly clenched around him and savoured the feeling. After a few slow thrusts to get your body used to it, he leaned in over you, putting his hands on either side of you to get more leverage, and let his own desire show by fucking into you harder and faster, fueled on by the way you moaned under him.

His body slammed into you with every thrust, pushing you both further down onto the desk, the only thing holding you up were your weak hands against the table, slowly lowering from his weight on top of you. His face was buried in your neck, hurried breaths warming it up and small swears lingering in your ears as you threw your head back in exctasy. Deliberate rocking of his hips made him hit the right spot every time, making you see stars when the tip of his cock pressed as far in as it could. One of his hands snaked around your torso, grabbing your breast through your shirt on the opposite side and held it firmly, lifting you up with him as he continued to relentlessly pound into you. This position made him press even harder into that spot deep inside you, and when you felt his other hand on your clit your whole body started to shake.

”Chishiya.. please don’t stop, I’m so close” you whined, begging him to bring you over the edge. You clenched harder around him, your body desperate to keep him inside you until you climaxed around him.

The air was filled with filthy noises from when your bodies connected. You could hear how wet you were when Chishiya bottomed out, not to mention the feeling of it trickling down your inner thigh on his way out. The desk creaked under you, threatening to give out from the forceful pace Chishiya held, fucking you with power and speed that were sure to leave bruises on you from where your waist was rocking into the wood. You didn’t care, you didn’t even feel uncomfortable, all that mattered was the delicious drag of his cock inside you, his throaty groans in your ear and the smell of him surrounding you, making you dizzy with need. All your senses were filled with him.

”Fuck… I won’t stop.” He almost growled into your ear before buriyng his head into the crook of your neck. ”Come for me.”

Then he bit down on your shoulder, sending your mind into overdrive, and with a final deep thrust you came around him, moning his name while violently shaking in his arms. It was a good thing that he had such a strong grip around you, otherwise you would have ended up on the floor.

Chishiya didn’t lie when he said he wouldn’t stop. He was nice enough to slow down right after your orgasm, still fucking you so deep, but as soon as you stopped shaking and your breathing became a bit more normal he sped up again, one merciless thrust after another until you were so wrecked that your moans were rough and guttural. The grip he had on your breast was almost painful, but the stinging felt so good in contrast to the pleasure continuing to build in your stomach.

”Y/n,” he panted into your sweat slicked skin, sounding like he could barely hold on himself ”turn around and get on your knees”.

When he pulled out of you, you moved on full autopilot, spinning around and falling down until to you kneeled on the carpeted floor under you, not hesitating to present your mouth to him and eagerly wrapping your lips around his cock when he dove into it with a gasp. A hand clutched the hair on the back of your head and held you still so that he could fuck your mouth the way he needed to, you sucking and working your tounge like your life depended on it. His movements were controlled, careful not to hurt you or push too far in. Usuprisingly he seemed to remember where your limit were - he must have been taking note of it the previous times you’ve blown him - and that made you even more eager to give him everything you could. You were so turned on, your thighs wet with arousal and your center throbbing as you tried to grind against your leg at the same pace Chishiya was going.

The hand in your hair softened, giving you a chance to back off if you wanted to, but there was no way you were going to miss this opportunity. Hell, you had begged him to come in your mouth several times by now - he knew very well that you had a thing for this.

Chishiya came with a throaty moan, hot liquid spilling all over your tounge, his cock twitching as he emptied himself in your mouth. You swallowed every drop he gave you, continuing to slowly bob your head up and down his length, dragging out the sensation until he pulled away from you.

A spent Chishiya met your eyes when you looked up, skin glistening and eyes tired. Thinking that he’d like to see how good you were for swallowing, you opened your mouth and playfully showed him, only to be met by a pair of eyebrows scrunched together and a ’why would you do that?’-look on his face. You couldn’t help but to laugh, before leaning back against some of the desk drawers, closing your eyes and basking in the afterglow of a great - really fucking great - session.

”I thought you didn’t want to come in my mouth.” You opened one eye and watched as he pulled up his shorts and sat down on the chair at the desk opposite to you. The sunrise made his hair glow, the skin on his chest sparkled under the rays. He looked content, soft breathing and blurry eyes focused on you. He shrugged before answering.

”I guess I owed you an apology for creeping up on you. That seemed like a fitting one. Don’t get too used to it though.”

#my writing #chishiya #chishiya alice in borderland #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya x reader #chishiya x y/n #aib chishiya #chishiya smut #chishiya x fem!reader #chishiya x reader smut #chishiya shuntaro x reader #chishiya shuntaro smut #shuntaro chishiya x reader #shuntaro chishiya

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stardustjmk · 2 months

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hello! I saw that your requests for Greta are open, and I was wondering if I could request something for Jake? I am hard-of-hearing, and I suppose I would love to read something about how that has an impact on Jake and Reader's relationship. If you have any specific questions or anything, just let me know! I can totally help out. I hate to say it but I'd love for it to be a little angsty, like, obviously hearing loss is not a choice and maybe Jake is just like... still upset that Reader can't fully hear things and asks to wear headphones at concerts. I would assume IRL Jake isn't an ignorant jerk like that but maybe for this he's just hurt that he isn't able to fully be heard literally and takes offense that like the headphones make it seem like he is being ignored. Thanks in advance!❤️

Loud and Clear | J.T.K

Summary: In which Jake does his best to be understanding and mindful of his hard of hearing partner, but a particular request upsets him.

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x gn!reader | Genre: angst, hurt/comfort Warnings: angst, jake being unintentionally ignorant. | Word count: 2.6k

Note: I am not the best at writing angst, since I crave fluff, but I do hope there’s enough of it to fulfill your expectations 🥹🫶🏻 Thank you for requesting!!

DISCLAIMER: I myself am not hard of hearing, nor do I personally know anyone who is. The last thing I want to do is offend anyone, or anything along those lines. So, in the case that something in this story comes off as offensive, please understand that is not at all my intent. Also please let me know if that is the case, so I do not repeat any mistakes.

There was a point in time where you couldn’t see yourself being anything more than a friend to Jake Kiszka.

When he first showed romantic interest in you, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t scare you. After all, you’d been met with numerous challenged relationship, and it was rarely your fault, to put it simply.

That being said, Jake was persistent, unlike any other guy you’d ever had interest in. He showed you, time and time again, that he would take every challenge, and erase it the best he could. Not once did he make you feel bad, or guilty for being hard of hearing, and he certainly didn’t let anyone else make you feel that way either. So, between his persistence, patience, and love, you let yourself fall for him, getting wrapped around his finger.

Jake does his best to learn sign language, along with other means of communicating, but being so busy with making music, doing shows, and all the other tedious tasks of his job, it’s hard find the time to attend classes or do lessons online. Especially given that in order to make that happen, he usually has to sacrifice time with you, or friends, or family.

You know he does his best though, and it shows in the way he speaks to you, which in turn is enough in your book. Not to mention, guys you’d seen before had much more free time on their hands, but never put in the effort to learn, whereas Jake manages to find time no matter how busy he is, all while keeping up his relationship with you.

That’s not to say you don’t have your struggles with him, though.

You can recall a few moments where he’d gotten impatient, trying to explain something to you. One time, he’d waved it off, and even though he explained that it wasn’t because of you, but more so the point he was getting at just stopped being that important to him, it still hurt to be dismissed, when you were trying your hardest to understand. From that moment on, it was very rare for him to be frustrated, but you could sometimes see his shoulders slump or lip twitch. You did your best not to take it personally, and most of the time, he would make up for it whether it be outright apologizing to you for it, or cleaning up his act as soon as it starts - nevertheless, his patience and understanding always outweighs the few occasions where it isn’t so.

All things considered, this might be the worst situation you’ve been in with him.

You hug Jake’s arm as he talks to the boys backstage, the four of them preparing for the show they’ll be playing in a few hours. Jake wears a small, proud smile, evidently excited to finally have you come to a show. The four of them talk to one another, and between looking at their lips, along with the occasional signed words they’d picked up on, you could follow along fairly easily.

Each one of them had learned at least some basic sign language, but Jake had learned the most by far. In fact, when you met his parents for the first time, you were almost shocked by just how much of their words he was able to sign to you. Now, he does the same, and you find yourself with a smile that mirrors his, heart swelling with nothing but love for him.

Your eyes scan the room, and when your gaze lands on a cluster of neatly placed noise-cancelling headphones, you realize that you’d left the ones you brought in Jake’s dressing room. It would likely be easy to go retrieve them, but you’d be lying if you said the “Greta Van Fleet” stickers on the ear muffs didn’t appeal to you.

So, you wander back to the conversation, and wait until a good time to grab Jake’s attention. When it comes, you tap his shoulder gently. He immediately gives you his attention, and you take a moment to admire the smudged liner that beautifully enhances his brown eyes, making your head spin with how good it looks on him.

“Would it be okay if I take a pair of those headphones?” you ask, gesturing to the table, and Jake is quick to nod his head, but it seems he didn’t exactly process it, because as you grab a pair, his brows furrow. “Wait, why do you need them?” He asks. You told him once that your ears are sensitive to loud sounds, but it was months ago, and honestly very brief, so you aren’t upset that he doesn’t remember.

“My ears are sensitive, remember?” you try to jog his memory, and he nods slowly. He does remember, and also recalls reading something about it, possibly back in school, but it still makes his shoulders slump and mood falter. He tries to mentally reason with himself, knowing that you can’t help it, and that he wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable, but Jake is known to be stubborn. Anyone who’s close to him knows that and has likely experienced it at least once.

You try to shake off the guilt that bubbles in your stomach - it’s not your fault.

However, as time passes, instead of getting over it, Jake only seems to grown more frustrated with you. It makes your heart ache, to think back on when you first met him. Even though he’s just as sweet now as he was then, a part of you thinks that he wouldn’t react like this if you went back in time and found yourself in this situation.

By the time you gather the courage to confront him, it’s not exactly a convenient time. The opening band is set to be going on in just a few minutes, and you should be making your way to your seat, but you decide it can wait. “Why are you mad at me?” You ask suddenly. You’d been watching Jake make his last adjustments to his makeup, outfit, and guitar (at least, the ones he could do backstage), and it was silent the whole time. You could feel how upset he was, and in a way, it made you mad, which is what made you ask.

“I’m not mad at you,” Jake says, not even bothering to look at you, when normally he’d be fully focused on you, knowing it makes it easier for the both of you. It’s a clear sign that he doesn’t want to talk, and your stomach turns. You’d never experienced this with Jake - shit, you could barely imagine experiencing this with him, given how he’s acted thus far.

A part of you starts to freak out, as this has happened before, in other relationships. Things go well, then something happens, you get blamed - even though it isn’t your fault - and then they break things off. Is Jake going to break up with me? you think to yourself, suddenly dreading the trip to your seat, and the hours following where you’re going to be expected to be happy.

“You are mad,” you say, a little more stern this time. He still refuses to look at you, and you feel a lump forming in your throat. “Jake,” you say, almost certain that your voice is shaky. He finally looks at you. “I just…” he sighs, “The music means so much to me, and the thought of you not hearing it is upsetting,” he explains. You watch his lips as he talks, eyes flickering between them and his hands as he tries to sign it. It’s slightly relieving, knowing that he’s not so mad as to completely give up communication, but there’s still a weight on your shoulders.

Before you can say anything, the boys are being rounded up, and Jake gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. “My mom will help you to your seat,” is the last thing he says before heading off with the other boys, making your heart sink. Your lip trembles, and tears well in your eyes, but you force them away. With shaky hands, you grab your headphones and soon meet with Karen, finding your way to your seat.

Despite the lingering sadness in regards to your predicament with Jake, you do your best to enjoy the show.

The lights turn back on, the boys disappear, and the once screaming crowd now evolves into chatter throughout the arena. Karen has been nothing but sweet to you, and as you both head back stage, she links her arm with yours. You’re coming up on a year of being with Jake, and at this point, you’re close enough with his mom that resting your head on her shoulder as you walk isn’t a big deal to either of you. In fact, she presses a kiss to your head, making a small smile form on your lips.

You aren’t sure what to do when you see Jake, so you hesitantly walk towards him, standing awkwardly to the side as he talks to one of the tech guys. As their conversation comes to an end, Jake turns to you. It’s clear that he also isn’t sure what to do, but he chooses to take your hand in his, gently guiding you back to his dressing room.

He seems gentler now, which is relieving, but you’re still worked up about the whole situation, and you’re sure it’s still on his mind as well. You take a seat on the small leather couch that’s in his dressing room, occasionally glancing at him as he changed out of his sweaty suit, and into a pair of old jeans, and one of his beloved button ups. Since it’s a Nashville show, you assume he’ll worry about a shower when he gets home.

He turns to you and walks towards you, eyes locking with yours. You’re not sure what to expect. He lifts a hand and brushes his knuckles against your cheek before cupping it. It’s a silent apology, that, and the way the look in his eyes begs for forgiveness. “We can talk about it later, okay? I don’t want to brush anything off, but I also have to-“ “I know, Jakey,” you stop him, turning your head to peck his palm, before standing up. “Do what you have to do,” you tell him, grabbing your headphones off the couch arm where you’d rested them, as well as making sure to grab the ones you’d brought. You kiss his cheek then walk to the door, opening it as to press your previous statement.

You aren’t sure exactly how long it is before Jake is done, but you do your best to wait patiently. You talk to the other boys, to his mom again, and eventually just linger around Jake himself, trying not to get in the way as he does what he can to help get things packed up.

After some time, everyone finishes up, and you’re back to where you were earlier, with your arm wrapped around Jake’s as you leave the arena. You say goodbye to the boys, along with Jake’s mom, then head your separate ways. The walk to his car is quiet, and you can only assume he’s also thinking about what to say, and what’s going to be said when you talk. He opens the passenger door for you, shutting it gently once you’re settled, then heads to the drivers side.

He waits to start the car, and instead looks at you. You figure he wants to go ahead and talk, and you ultimately decide sooner is better than later. “You said that I can’t hear you, and that upsets you,” you remind him of his words, giving him a chance to correct you, or add onto it, but he just nods. You look at him, and the look on his face reads that of guilt, but also a hint of his own frustration is mixed in with it. His silence gives you the floor to speak, but you can tell he’s worried.

You reach over the console and take one of his hands in yours, then use the other to gently direct his face towards you. His eyes meet yours, and you offer a half smile. “I do hear you, Jake,” you start. “Maybe I can’t listen to it the way you do, or the way your fans do, but I hear it, Jake. I see it, too…I feel it. I feel the drums, I feel the vibrations your amps, I see the way you react, the way the crowd reacts- Jake, I hear you loud and clear,” you conclude, and you can tell that it hit him particularly hard, with the way he sighs shakily and squeezes your hand.

He nods, processing your words, then waits for you to continue. When you stay quiet, he takes over, “Talk to me, please. I know you’re hurt and I just- I want to fix it, so please talk to me,” he says, taking over the role of assurance and comfort. “I just need you to hear me too, Jake,” you say, sighing softly. “I love you so much, and the idea of you being frustrated with me over this…it just hurts, you know? I didn’t ask for it,” you explain. You aren’t attacking him, or even trying to make him feel bad, and he knows it, so he lets you vent, without interrupting. “I know, and,” he pauses, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand before laying it on his lap. He uses his hands to sign as he talks. “I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that,” he says, and the way you can see the wheels in his head spinning extra fast, trying to make sure he doesn’t mess up, makes you crack the faintest smile.

“I love you too, and I promise that this won’t happen again, okay?” he says, and you nod, leaning in to kiss his lips softly. He kisses you back, lifting a hand to cup your cheek. You practically melt into him, the way he’s so delicate and passionate all at once making you crumble. When you pull away, he’s wearing a grin. “Now, you’re more than allowed to decline…but I think maybe we need a do-over, if you want to come to one of the next shows,” he suggests, and much to his excitement, you do agree.

When the next show rolls around, Jake gifts you a pair of noise-canceling headphones. You open the mix to find a pair of bedazzled ones, black rhinestones making up the majority of them, with “Greta Van Fleet” spelled out in carefully placed silver rhinestones. “The rhinestones were Josh’s idea, weren’t they?” you ask, making him let out a genuine laugh. “You bet it was Josh’s idea.”

This time around, things go a lot smoother, and Jake makes sure to look extra hard for you in the crowd. The smile on your face, the bedazzled headphones - which you eventually found had your initials embroidered on the underside of the headband part, along with “all my love” in jake’s handwriting - which he comes to absolutely adore, the way you’d dressed up for the show, all of it makes him fall even more in love with you. Not to mention, he watches you for longer than he might should, but it’s worth it to see you enjoying yourself, and that’s when he realizes that you do hear him, loud and clear.

#jake kiszka fanfic #greta van fleet fan fiction #jtk x reader #gvf x reader #gvf fluff #gvf fic #gvf fanfiction #jake gvf #jake x reader #jake kiszka x y/n #jake kiszka x you #jake kiszka fluff #jake kiszka fic #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka angst #jake kiszka

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fangeek-girl · 9 months

Note

For the Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

Thank you for the ask 😊

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

I'll try to share one from each fandom. I'm usually an angst writer, so truly funny scenes that make me laugh are usually few and far apart 😅

For Roswell, New Mexico I have this little gem from Three Makes a Family:

“Alex! Lovely to hear from you. Would be even better if you bothered to stop by the bar once in a while.” He detects the smidge of pain behind the joy in her voice. How long has it been since he went to see his best friend, just the two of them? “I’m parenting. Trying to be responsible, that kind of thing.” “Funny, Michael said exactly the same thing when he showed up this morning.” “Talking about my dear husband, can you please remind him to pick Emma up at 2:30 for her appointment? And that if he forgets to pick her up again, he’ll be sleeping on the couch for the foreseeable future?” “You just wanted to call him your husband again, didn’t you?” “Maybe a little.” The corner of his lips lifts at the words. Part of him still can’t believe he’s married to Michael Guerin.

And for Star Wars here's a snippet from the - yet unpublished! - 2nd part of my Skywalker Dyad Saga:

She shimmied alongside the branch she was sitting on to the large trunk. The next branch down wasn’t too far, and Kat’s height allowed her to reach it without effort. She leaned on it with one foot, hanging onto the higher branch with her left hand, trying to find another foothold further down. “We couldn’t bring a ladder. Of course not. Jedi have to prove they can do everything by themselves,” she muttered to herself. Slowly, Kat made her way down the tree. It was a lot longer down than it had been to climb up. The hour of gathering had taken a toll on her energy. She could barely feel her shoulders and arms anymore, and the skin of her hands had been scratched by the rough bark digging into her palms. She was halfway down when her right foot slid from the knot she’d chosen as a hold, sending her barreling down. Kat yelled as she fell. Her body rotated until she was facing the ground — and her impending doom. She had the reflex to throw her hands out in front of her to soften the impact, even as she knew in the back of her mind that it was an incredibly stupid idea. The bones in both her arms would break as soon as she hit. Kat closed her eyes, breathed in, and… nothing. She opened her eyes to see that, instead of making a hole deep as her body length, she hadn’t even touched the ground. Instead, she floated a few inches over the brown earth and low grass of the path they’d taken to the tree. As soon as she realized it, her unconscious control on the Force ceased and she dropped face first into the dirt. Kat sat up, spitting out the local flora.

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

Yes. I overshare (a beautiful autism trait that regularly puts me in awkward positions) so my friends, a few colleagues and my parents know. None of them know my Ao3 usernames or the names of my fics though, just the fandoms.

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

A very good question...

As I said, I write mostly angst. And I do tend to write long fics (my unfinished RNM fic is 45k and the SKywalker Dyad Saga is at 95k written so far) so I dive into a lot more angst and hurt/comfort than sweet. But my songfics tend to be more on the mellow side.

I think The One (my Echo RNM songfic) is probably the sweetest. Like bubblegum ice cream sweet.

#wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart #ask me stuff #Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask

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astreviix · 6 months

Text

Thanks for being my friend.

heyy this is literally my first post ever so um erm yeah, also this is more of a vent kinda about losing an actual friend irl, or well cutting it off so hes still alive dw!! but i like to use my ocs to cope so uh um yeah i hope you guys enjoy :3

tw: death, loss of loved one, mentions of suicide, mentions of self harm, angst, swearing

(the person telling the story is my main oc Suki, and her friends name is Sterling, might not be his actual name but still deciding)

(also best paired with this song!)

—————————————————

Waking up, knowing I’ll never see you again is what hurts the most.

It had been two years since the crash, two years since the funeral, yet I find myself visiting your grave nearly everyday.

I play music, bring my guitar, clean your grave and watch shows next to it. It’s how I feel close to you still, I’m worried if I stop doing this I’ll forget about you. What if I forget the memories we made? What if I forget your face and voice.

I play the stupid videos we made together everyday, and I always make sure to look at photos of us before I go to sleep and when I wake up. It’s how I’ve been ‘coping’ I guess.

Everyone’s worried about me, I can barely move out of bed, but it’s hard to even get out of it when I see no reason. You were my best friend, you listened to me, you understood me in a way no one else could, a friend who was there for me during my weakest moments, who let me cry on his shoulder in the little spot we grew to call ours.

That’s where we buried you, where your family asked you to be.. where you asked to be if it ever came down to it.

I remember how I looked at you when you said that, that you wanted this to be your final resting place.

“What? Why are you acting so melodramatic Ster?”

“I’m not.. it’s just you know anything can happen Suki.. and if it does, this is where I wanna be.”

He’d look at the view, it was a little meadow they had found together years ago, with a large willow tree hanging over them. A small pond with frogs, sometimes even ducks was directly in front of them, what a relaxing area.

“Don’t say that! You’re gonna scare me you asshole!”

I’d punch his shoulder, a large chuckle coming out of his mouth

“Yeah yeah, I’m just saying!”

I never thought that we would’ve actually had to have buried you. I mean, I thought you and me were gonna grow old as best friends, together in the nursing home, we’d be arguing over who was better at chess. I never wanted to admit it, but it was you, though you probably already knew that.

I remember how you would always make fun of me, but deep down, you had a spot for me that no one else gave you, you were actually vulnerable around me, and that’s how I felt around you too. I could just, rant to you about how I felt, no matter how dumb, you’d listen. You’d always listen, and that’s what I needed, someone who didn’t try to force themselves to understand or give me some bullshit advice.

You just sat there and saw me me, you actually saw me for who I was, and I felt good, I finally felt good about myself because of you, you made me feel heard and seen, you understood me in ways I don’t even think you knew. You never ignored me, never pretended that I breaking down sobbing and never forced me to speak about my issues, only when I felt ready.

Because of you, I learnt to trust, because of you, I realized not everyone in this world is awful. So you can imagine how much it hurt when I heard those words.

“Suki.. I hate to be the one letting you know but.. Sterling.. he passed away at 5:34AM.. his wounds were so severe.. there was nothing they could do.”

Numb, is the best way to describe how I felt after I heard that.

I dropped my phone, my heart felt like it was about to burst out of my chest, gone, just like that? I couldn’t believe it.. I even refused to believe it for a period of time. Your poor father nearly broke down over the phone when I begged him to tell me he was lying.

I’ve lost people before, but I’ve never experienced loss this severe. The day I lost you was the day I died along with you. I couldn’t eat, sleep or do anything, I just stared at the ceiling for hours, the pain was was so overwhelming.

At one point, I considered relieving the pain by hurting myself instead, I somehow puzzled together that if I could feel physical pain, that it’d help me move on. Of course, nothing came out of it, I was too numb to even do that.

And within a few weeks, my mind wandered off into ending it, I had no one that understood me the way you did, sure I had my dad and friends but, they weren’t you. Everyday I had a mental battle, to not just jump off a cliff. What would you think of me if I did?

I nearly did it anyways, I remember staring down the edge, the call of the void nearly deafening me.. but I just couldn’t, I finally dropped to my knees, feeling tears begin to slide down my face. I remember how I let out painful sobs and cries, screaming and cursing at god for taking you away from me. You were my best friend, how could you just be taken away like that? It wasn’t fair, it’ll never BE fair.

I know people say moving on isn’t easy, but I was never told it’d be this hard, you and I were so young. You were taken away from me when you were only twenty and I was only twenty-one. I always thought we’d move in together, living lives as two idiot friends, but we’d be happy at least.

Summer was the hardest, knowing I didn’t get to spend time with you anymore, driving around the city, throwing eggs at random assholes on the streets, not being able to spend most of our days at the spot we claimed as our own. I had no idea how to cope.

But one thing was for sure, I always spent time at our little meadow, it was our spot and ours only, of course your family and friends now knew about it too, flowers and cards decorated your grave. I’d always be making sure it stayed intact, and everytime I visited, the pain would always hit me like a train again.

But lately it’s been different. I’ve been feeling less numb and broken, and more of a bittersweet feeling.

It’s been three years since the crash, three years since the funeral. I visit your grave less often now, and instead focus on our memories.

Though they may still sting, they’re memories I’ll forever cherish. The times we spent trying to beat each other at chess. The games we played together, how you always said I was bad. The times we’d drive around the city at night during the warm summer days. The times we’d just lay on the beach, staring at the fireworks on the fourth.

“How’s that rockstar dream working out for ya’ Suke’s?”

“IT’S. Working out just fine, I-I mean honestly I don’t know if I’m really ever gonna be one but, it’d be nice you know?”

“Well, I think it could work, just do what makes you.. well you. Follow your heart, be your own person yeah? Or whatever people say.”

“OH you’re just saying that because others say it?”

We’d both loudly laugh

“No, I really do mean it, I just don’t know if that’s how others put it or not.”

I remember how he put his hand on my shoulder, looking at me with a sincere smile.

“Just know, I’m proud of you, and I’ll always be proud of you. I’ll always be right behind you.”

That’s what he told me, the night before he died.

But the pain has been lessening more, with each song I play, I put my heart into it because of you Sterling, because of you, I followed my dreams, and I know, if you were around to see me today, you’d be proud.

Life is hard, it’ll always be hard, but you taught me that not everyone is cruel, you taught me that I’m enough reason to live, that I myself deserve to be happy and alive.

It’s been five years since the crash, five years since the funeral.

And because of you, I know what it means to be happy now. I know what it’s like to love myself and finally see that the world isn’t this cruel and awful place.

Because of you, I followed my dream.

“Thanks for being my friend, Sterling.”

————————————————————————-

AHHH heyyyy i really hope you enjoyed this, this was honestly a vent combined with oc stuff, so its pretty sloppy and i made this in like an hour, i really do hope you guys liked it though :))

lmk if yall would like more!❤️

#angst with a happy ending #angst #oc #my ocs #bittersweet

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hellfiremunsonn · 1 year

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you look so pretty i didn't even notice the size difference for a second. Like, mine aren't that noticeable, but I guess cause my nips don't line up on a horizontal line it has to be mentioned?

Yeah, I was pretty sure these men weren't shit but also...like it felt good to be flirted with? To be seen as desirable? I have never really been in a "relationship" always the let's not label it or the "oh im talking to a guy who showed interest in me and- oh he's married well im blocking you now" (which the married thing has happened more than once, making me feel bad. Like, if they were in an open marriage or poly or whatever, I wouldn't care. But its like im like "isnt that...your wife?" And they get upset i find out like obviously you don't want her to know).

I know my friend didn't mean anything by her comment, so I'm not really mad at her. I think its moreso the guy who said it was a handful (I am a b, maybe c cup depending on the bra (usually its the band) but I think that because I have broad shoulders and a big rib cage, I am big boned i guess cause I am tall, they expect more??)

It just really fucked me up cause I was sitting here and I thought okay he was a piece of shit, and so I started scrolling through Tumblr and reading fanfiction because why not escape reality for a second, and it ended up being smut and I was like ah....my body doesnt...do that normally. And then it made me spiral thinking about every fic I've read (for example, Steve or Eddie) and how its all similar, and then I was like shit maybe I am weird? Like I get i shouldn't let fictional stuff bother me, cause it is fictional, but then I am like hm the men irl suck so why wouldn't it translate (I am not making it make sense like the characters would be fine I think but its like the fics all have similar anatomy i dont have making it seem as though it is normal, and the guys irl suck so they probably also expect that idk im gonna stop this sentence now).

I think the thing that truly bothers me is the fact that, if I am getting close enough to you to feel comfortable topless, because typically I am not, then that means I'm vulnerable and you really just basically stab me. You basically get me in a vulnerable state and go straight for the jugular

Ohgod, yeah I used to never take my top off or my bra off cause I was like nOPE YOU CAN'T SEE MY BOOBS!!!!!

Now I don't care as much because I've thankfully had more positive reactions?

And with fan fic, I try to write sex for reader how I enjoy sex? Which too be fair isn't much because I haven't had a lot of GOOD sex. I've had good moments in sex but never the whole thing. So I don't include a lot of nipple play or stimulation, because I personally don't get much pleasure from it, but I know my partners have so I let them do their thing, thus briefly adding it into fics just cause a mouth on a tit is a common occurrence for the most part.

I also always make sure to get reader to cum from clit stimulation because most vagina havers cannot cum from penetration alone. And I also add it hurting at first, because for me OFTEN times it's really uncomfortable at first, and sometimes it has felt like I'm losing my virginity all over again.

ANOTHER THING. This helps me when reading fics, but (Y/N) isn't me but she is me... Like she's a version of myself I have created to fit these fics, but it's not me me, she's her own character but she is MINE. if that makes sense? Like I have no interest in anal or anal play, but like (Y/N) ??? she'll do anything, and I love her for that.

ALSO, My titties literally get stuck in my armpits when I lay down and I have to pull them out before I get comfy. They be doing what they want I swear.

MEN ARE SHIT

But also voicing your insecurities, and just laying them out on the table sometimes helps! It's something I started to do unconsciously, but I would basically point out these things before someone else could do it, and do it maliciously. Like if I did my eyelashes wonky, I'd point it out right away, or maybe if my ass looked extra flat, or my hair was greasy. Because all our lumps and bumps and ridges, and dips, hairy, smooth, discoloured bits are all part of us, and make us each our own person.

idk where I was really going with this again, I kinda just started typing. But I hope you at least find the tiniest bit of comfort from talking it out with me.

#hellfiremunsonn asks

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fwuffblanket · 1 year

Text

Just venting, again

I'm living on a stubborn thread of delusional dreams for a future I'll never get to have. I try to live my life without these threads but I always end up falling and clinging onto them once again. I listened to the counselor's instructions to having a "healthy" mind and mentality during our many lectures. I tried making a good support system like the counselor said. But I fear that if I lean on them for help, they won't want to be around me anymore. I can never get my thoughts to be said out loud without extreme consequences. It just never ends well. Inanimate objects like stuffed animals and toys, keep me from doing something I know I'll regret. Though when people see how much I rely on them, they think it's funny or unreasonable. I see how they would think that, I know it isn't "normal" but nobody is normal right? Objects never make my happiness last long. Just like all my other attempts at being happy, they were fruitless and I should just give up on them. But its like permanent dye staining your hair, you can't get rid of it easily. And I just don't have the time to do that, nor the motivation.

+ Upcoming Tw SH +

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Being bored is like a punishment, its dreadful. Without entertainment, I lose myself in the depressing caverns that are the back of my mind. Spiraling with no motivation to crawl out of that destructive mind set. I make playlist after playlist, I buy plushies and toys. But its never enough to fill that void. No matter how much I feed it, it's never satisfied. Only when I follow through with the craving to just scratch, and scratch until there is just a giant rash, it will be content. But never for long enough. Its just exhausting..

-Once again, another quote -

" Don't you want to rip off your finger nails? Let the maggots feast while you rot in jail. Hey bunny, what the hell is wrong with us? I want to scratch myself with infected rust" - Hey Bunny by Baby Bugs

+End Tw+

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am often guilty of holding extreme grudges. Even if its been 6 years I will still have it on my mind. No matter how many times one apologizes I still struggle to forgive and forget. It weighs on my shoulders until it finally caves in and smashes me like the worthless bug I am.

I follow my gut feeling and I know when I'm right. But eventually the fear of confrontation and the backlash of calling them out. Outweighs the benefits of getting them out of my life. I know that there is only one person who knows about this acc, that knows me irl. But just knowing that if I mess up, at any point he can out the secrets I so dearly need hidden. I know its wrong to think someone I care about, and trust a ton would even think of doing that. Because the reasonable part of me knows they wouldn't, but overthinking usually gets the best of me. I can't say much about the person who doesn't have access to this acc. Other than the empty apologies she gives me when she hurts my feelings. The ignoring my opinions, yelling at me to just "Shut up!" and let her speak whenever I try to rant about anything I care about. I can't with this anymore, she doesn't even let me talk!

-Quote time-

" I don't want to be forced to listen, under coercion" - Mommy Fwiend by Penelope Scott

"Fake apologies are rain on a cloudless day. And I don't think I've ever seen a sky so clear." I'm not crying your crying by PinkShift

--Srry for making this so long, once I got going I couldn't stop--

#personal vent #vent post #tw sh related

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ccskell · 2 years

Text

So this morning i had this insanely fucked nightmare I felt tumblr would appreciate.

I’ve been under a LOT of stress from work, and sleep hasn’t come easy or been good for that matter. This morning was an important contribution towards that. I woke up from something apparently called Cortisol awakening response, which feels like shit. I tried to calm down for like an an hour until I ultimately relaxed enough to fall asleep again. Which I payed the fucking price for.

So in this dream im like a teacher, nurse, babysitter or something. IRL I’m a business owner and marketing manager, this is literally not even remotely close to what i do. Although i do love kids.

But anyways, me and a girl i dont know, but apparently work in the same building, are assigned to look after 2 recently rescued orphan toddlers.

My partner is bringing them over, They show up to this like half bedroom half classroom kind of place where i am.

They’re super cute and calm. we’re kinda just looking after them, we play a little etc.

But then while playing one of them got a hole in his little overalls so i go grab a sewing kit.

In the dream this sewing kit consisted of a bunch of loose needles, very unsafe and un profesional of me idk why i did this, i obviously wouldn’t leave a bunch of needles on a carpet next to a baby but here i did. All the while my partner is just carrying and playing with the other kid.

I fix the overalls without taking them off, since theyre loose enough on him for me to not poke him. He kneels down once im done and gets poked by a needle from my sewing kit, that is now sticking out of his knee. He doesn’t cry or anything which is weird, but it didn’t faze me apparently

I get it off with a lot of care to not hurt him, im really focused so im not noticing much around me.

Once i take it off though i lean back and look at him. I slowly start noticing more needles on him, some smaller than others. I see some that were in super visible spots, but were somehow new to me, like onn his little nose and right cheek. The nose one has pus when i get it out. As if he’d had them for a while, and they definitely didn’t come from my sewing kit. Im taking more off, like 4-5 when i see one sticking from behind his right shoulder. i turn him a little to take it off and i see his whole back is covered. they’re thick and look like those images you see when you look up trypophobia. Its the needles dont even stick out, much, like theyre all the way in except for a little bit of the tip. And i can tell they are long, because it looks more like his skins been pulled back to cover most of them, rather than them sticking out. Im concerned as hell and tell the other girl that we are taking him to the hospital right now. Mind you he is still completely not in pain or anything, which is still weird. My partner says no, that we shouldn’t take him to a hospital, cause apparently she’s worried they’ll blame it on us, like accusing us of abuse n stuff.

It takes me a second to process what i just heard, and im like, it wasn’t us though, and regardless we can save our ass from jail later, this kid needs a hospital NOW

But I stop for a second and process. I ask her if shes sure WE didnt do this, or well in this case her, cuz i sure as hell didnt.

Her face starts turning creepy and pale white. In a weird voice she admits to having done that to the little boy herself, and starts fucking laughing. Her eyes flip back sorta and her mouth opens like shes trying to bite me or some shit. Slits start to appear on the sides of her mouth like the fucking joker. She looks like right out of one of those shiver manga, WHICH I DONT EVEN CONSUME MIND YOU

And she tries to come at me, she grabs my neck to choke me snaps bites at me. She doesn’t manage to get a bite in because i grab her upper teeth and face with one hand and her jaw with the other, and I literally snap them apart. the top half of her head is hanging behind her neck while her the jaw hangs in front of her. It wasn’t hard or anything. Kinda like snapping a PVC tube thats been dried up by the sun in half.

After that I’m pretty sure it was just overkill, but I’m just so fucking shaken with fear and adrenaline that I try shoving her spine in down her neck, and it works surprisingly easy.

I kinda wake up in the midst of that, granted with a surge of cortisol making me super anxious and jittery

Now I swear to god that although i do like scary movies i DONT wantch anything like this, and certainly do not think i could snap a fucking human head in half….

Although i gotta say, Its kinda cool that every time I have a super fucked up dream like this I always make it out, apparently I’m brave enough to fight off all these things that attack me, regardless of how scary they are.

But honestly I feel like I’ve proven myself enough times, I want out 😖

#creepy shit #nightmare #shiver manga

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skvatnavle · 2 years

Text

Is love too much?

Marcus Pike x plus size! reader

Authors notes: Marcus? Again?! What can I say, I adore this man. This is an idea I've had for a while, so I hope you like it. There is one use of y/n.

Beta'ed by the lovely @yespolkadotkitty . Thank you so much for your help ❤

Warnings: insecurities, sad Marcus, slight angst, negative body image, SMUT! 18+, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (but wrap it up irl), cockwarming if you squint?, pining, lots of fluff, Marcus being an absolute sweetheart.

Words: 3063

The months after the breakup had been hard. Heartbroken and adjusting to life in DC had been hard, but he managed. He had started to move on, get better.

Until last week. Seeing Lisbon again had him spiraling. Not because he missed her. He had accepted it by now. No, it was the feeling of not being good enough that hurt. A divorce and two broken engagements. Why wasn’t he good enough? Why couldn’t he get the family he wanted? The self-doubt was beginning to eat him up inside.

He gestures towards the bartender for another drink. He’s already drunk and probably shouldn’t drink anymore, but he wants to numb the pain.

He barely notices when a younger woman sits down beside him, ordering her own drink. For a while, you both sit there in silence. Marcus swears he can feel your eyes on him, but what's the point? Even if you are interested, you’d probably just leave like everyone else.

You look at the man beside you. He looks sad, defeated, as he downs his whiskey. You should probably leave him alone. But you’ve always been a very compassionate person and you can’t just leave him to his misery.

“You probably just wanna be left alone, but do you wanna talk? You look down, and I’m a good listener.” You try giving him a sweet smile. He slowly turns and looks into your eyes. His beautiful brown ones are red and wet.

“Really?” His voice is weak, sounding like he is on the brink of breaking.

You turn a little towards him, still smiling softly. “Yeah. If I were having a hard time, I’d love for someone to just listen”.

At your words, he turns a little towards you, wiping the tears from his eyes. Even though he is sad, he’s still the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen.

He decides to be brutally honest. What harm could it do?

“My biggest dream is to have a family. Wife, a few kids, dog,” he sniffles, before continuing. “I’d love to have someone to spoil, be happy with. Fuck, I’d give anything to have a quiet Sunday with my family, just… making them pancakes”

He shrugs his shoulders, looking away from you. He listens quietly as you tell him what a wonderful dream it is. You’re probably just saying what he wants to hear.

“Did… Did your wife leave you?”

Marcus laughs, but it's an empty, cold laugh.

“The first one did… Then two other women broke our engagements..” he stops, looking bitter, as he holds up 3 fingers. “Three women have decided I’m not worth spending their lives with, and I… I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m interested, give flowers, take them on dates, make dinner, do romantic stuff all the time, I…”

He throws up his hands in defeat, rambling as he pours out his heart to you. When he stops, he looks into your eyes, swallowing a hard lump.

You bite your lip, unsure if he wants to hear what you’re about to say, but you decide that maybe tough love is the way to go.

“Maybe… you’re coming on a little too strong?”

The face Marcus gives you is almost comical. He is clearly in disbelief over your words.

“Too strong?”

“Yeah. I mean, I would love for someone to spoil me and make me pancakes on Sundays,” you say softly, smiling. “And I’d love to have some kids. But if you tell women too soon, it becomes this… overwhelming thing. Adding too much pressure, perhaps? You know what I mean?”

Marcus nods and you can see the gears in his head turning.

“I… was rather quick to say I wanted to spend my life with them.”

He looks down, clearly a little embarrassed. You find him quite endearing, wondering how those other women could leave such a sweet man.

“Okay, you definitely work fast. But you have the best intentions, so maybe you should just… relax a bit. Go with the flow?”

Marcus sniffles a bit, looking into your eyes again. He can’t help but stare. Yours are the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen. Your smile lights up your face in the most beautiful way.

“Your eyes are beautiful.”

You start blushing, clearly not expecting a compliment. He smirks a little, liking the effect he has on you.

“Careful there, or you might have someone propose to you for once.”

Your laugh is wonderful, warm. Some part of him wishes he could listen to that laugh forever. No, he shouldn’t think like that. That's the kind of thinking which could lead to trouble. But fuck, he finds you attractive and can’t help himself.

“I don’t think I would mind that” he says softly, his grin growing wider, as you blush even more.

“Easy now. You should really just… forget about a girlfriend and the future for a while. Just have some fun. Let loose.”

Marcus can’t help but stare at you. Breathtaking eyes and the most gorgeous smile. Sweet and caring.

An idea suddenly hits him. It’s so unlike him but maybe he should follow your advice.

“So… you wanna have some fun?”

Did you hear him right? Did he just..? Honestly in disbelief, that this seemingly sweet and soft man asked such a question. As you ask him what he said, he just smiles softly.

“You said I should let loose, have some fun. So, wanna go?”.

You don’t respond right away, just look at him. He is one of the most beautiful men you’ve ever seen. He could easily get any woman he wanted in this bar, but he chose you. Some part of you is afraid he’s only chosen you because he is drunk.

“You sure? You could easily find someone else who’s a hell of a lot prettier than me..”

“It’s you or no one”. He says it without hesitation, a slight dominance to his voice. Your heart flutters slightly, your breath caught in your throat. Mustering up some confidence you didn’t know you had, you take your bag and stand.

“Okay, let’s go, before you get sober and realize you could have done better,” you laugh, trying to act indifferent when in reality, your heart is pounding wildly in your chest.

He throws some bills on the bar before he puts his arms around you and together you leave.

He stumbles into his apartment, trying to kiss you and get his coat off at the same time. The short ride from the bar to his apartment was torture, doing everything in his power not to fuck you on the backseat of the cab. Fuck, he is desperate. Wanting nothing more than to taste you, make you moan his name.

Marcus runs his hands down your body, his hands grazing your soft curves.

“Fuck you have an amazing body.”

“You’re drunk,” you giggle softly, while kissing him passionately. Fuck, your lips are so soft. He leads you to his bedroom, where he pins you against the wall, grinding his erection against your sex. When you moan, it’s like music to his ears. The most beautiful and sinful music.

He reaches down to the hem of your dress and pulls it over your head. He stops for a moment, taking you in. His cock is twitching, achingly hard against the fabric of his dress pants. He watches as you walk to the bed, finger in his belt, pulling him with you.

As you sit down on the bed, you make quick work of his belt and zipper, pulling out his hard throbbing cock. He can’t help but smirk a little when he sees how you gasp at his size.

As he caresses your hair, you take a gentle hold of his cock. He lets out a desperate moan. God, it had been so long.

As you look at his cock, your mouth starts watering at the sight. You have to bite down on your lip to suppress the moan threatening to escape your mouth.

You kiss down his length, savoring every inch of him. As you reach the base, you kiss one more time before flattening your tongue and lick up his length. When you finally take him into your mouth, he instantly moans. A deep, delicious sound. It sends shivers down your spine, wanting to pull more sinful moans from him.

“Fuck, sweetheart, you… your mouth is amazing.”

As he lets out his words of praise with ragged breath, you feel the dampness between your legs. The need in you is almost unbearable.

You keep sucking and licking his delicious cock, taking him deeper, making Marcus whimper above you.

“Fuck… If you want me to fuck you, you have to stop…” he gasps, panting heavily. “I… I’m not gonna last if you keep this up.”

He laughs softly, lost in pleasure. The feeling of your mouth around him almost sending him over the edge, but he wants to fuck you. Wants to be inside you.

He caresses your cheek softly, as you let his cock go with a pop. He pushes you down onto the bed while kissing you deeply, the kiss hungry and desperate.

He kisses his way down your body and when he reaches your underwear, he tears it off. Like a man starved, he dives between your thighs.

You gasp at the first contact. Marcus starts off slow, taking his time. Teasing you, savoring you. You move your hand to his head, grasping his hair. Marcus moans softly as you hold him there, loving the effect he has on you.

He slowly adds a finger, knowing he needs to prepare you for him. He finds your sweet spot in no time, making you moan loudly. The sounds he draws from you are beautiful, the little whimpers like the sweetest music, making his cock twitch. He is already achingly hard. He ruts against the bed, desperate for friction. But it’ll have to wait until he’s made you come undone on his tongue.

He adds another finger and as soon as he hits your sweet spot again, you come.

“Fuck… Marcus….” His name is barely a whisper, but it’s enough. Marcus is like a man possessed. The taste of you is like a drug and he wants more. He continues to switch between licking up your slit and sucking on your clit, while his fingers work you open. When you come again, he groans as he drinks you up.

More, you want more. The need is overwhelming, all consuming. You pull Marcus hair, pulling him from your core. Your eyes full of want, as you beg him.

“Please fuck me, Marcus!”

He crawls up your body and when he meets your lips again, it’s a hungry kiss. His cock is at your entrance, begging to enter. Marcus loses control and pushes in, making you gasp as his cock stretches you.

He pushes deeper, the stretch delicious, as you moan his name. Begging him for more. As he bottoms out, you both pant in unison, his forehead against yours.

“You feel amazing. Shit…”

He rolls his hips a few times, fucking you slowly. You whimper, wanting nothing more than for him to move faster, harder.

Suddenly, Marcus stops, looking into your eyes.

“Fuck, I… I forgot the condom.”

“I have an IUD. And you seem like you’d be clean.”

“I am, sweetheart.”

You look into his eyes, pleading for him to continue. He is so lost in you, not wanting to stop, that he kisses you hungrily. He then fuck you again, each snap of his hips making you moan.

As you close your eyes in pleasure, he looks at you. How your face twists in pleasure, how your perfect tits bounce with every thrust. You are so fucking beautiful, and he want nothing more than to stay like this forever. Wanting nothing more than to hear you moan his name over and over.

He can feel himself getting closer, but he’d be damned if he comes before making you come one more time. He pulls your leg up, pushing deeper, hitting that sweet spot over and over.

“I’m close. Please cum for me, baby. Please be a good girl and cum for me.”

He snaps his hips harder, faster, making you moan louder.

You feel the sweet coil tightening in your core. As you come for the third time that night, you scream out your pleasure, digging your nails into Marcus shoulder.

“Fuck Marcus… Fuck, you’re so good!”

Your praise almost sends him over the edge, but when you whisper into his ear, he is lost.

“Please cum in me.”

He can’t hold it anymore and comes with a deep grunt. He fills you up with his cum, thrusting a few more times to ride out his high.

He puts his forehead against yours, panting heavily. He looks into your eyes, smiling. Fuck, how did he get this lucky?

He kisses you deeply, holding you close, not wanting to pull out. He loves the feeling of you around him, having you in his arms. Fuck. He’s done it again. You were supposed to be a one night stand, but he’s already picturing taking you on dates, watching old movies on his couch.

He pulls himself back to reality, pulling out of you. He gets up and walks to his bathroom. You shift slightly, looking after him. From the way you bite your lip, he hopes you like the view.

When he returns with a cloth, he gently cleans you, while caressing your thighs. You suddenly giggle and blush. He can’t help but smile.

“What?” his voice soft, smiling at you.

“I’m… Just not used to this kind of… attention. Usually I’m doing this myself,” you shrug, biting your bottom lip.

“Well, I always take care of my woman,” he smiles, before he realizes how it may sound. “Even if it’s casual,” he laughs softly, before laying down next to you.

His beautiful eyes search yours, for what you do not know. You hope he finds it, that he wants this to be more. You want it to be, but you don’t tell him. This is just casual, you tell yourself. But as he gently runs his fingers down your body, you yearn for this to be more.

You shyly cover up, but he stops you. “You don’t have to cover up.”

“We both know I don’t exactly have an amazing body,” you huff, trying to play it off.

“I think you do. I could certainly spend many happy hours touching every inch of you.” God. If he knew what his words did to you. You wanted to believe him. Believe that this gorgeous man, who could have any woman, could actually like you.

You snort laugh and push him away gently, covering his face with your hand. The action makes him laugh. He smiles, biting his lip shyly.

“So… That’s one of the times I come on too strong?”

“Yep” you laugh, snorting once again, and it makes Marcus smile widely in return.

“You have a wonderful laugh.”

“No, but thank you,” you reply, blushing. There is a sudden silence between you. There is so much Marcus wants to say, but he shouldn’t. When you gesture to get up, he feels a pang in his chest. He doesn’t want you to go, not yet. He takes a gentle hold of your arm, a pleading look on his face.

“Will you stay? Please?”

He gives you his best puppy eyes, begging for you to stay. Luckily, you nod and lay back down. He will never admit it, but his heart skipped a beat. It’s a curse he always falls so hard, but right now, he doesn’t care. He wants you, but now he has you for the night, at least.

“Thank you… for everything tonight.”

“Hey, you made me cum three times. I should be thanking you”. You giggle softly, but Marcus burst out into a wholehearted laugh, making the bed shake. He pulls you closer into his nook, butterflies in his stomach as you lay your head on his shoulder.

He kisses the top of your head. You look up into his eyes and he kisses you, soft and tender.

“Goodnight, Sweetheart.”

“Goodnight, Marcus.”

The next morning, you wake up as a beam of sunlight hits your face. You extend your hand to the other side of the bed but find nothing. Marcus isn’t there.

You sit up, instantly thinking the worst. Did he sneak off before you woke up, so he wouldn’t have to have the awkward morning goodbye?

You feel a little discouraged, as you swing your legs out the bed and onto the floor. Then something catches your eye. On the nightstand, there is a little note.

“Morning Sweetheart. I didn’t want to wake you, but I was called into work. There’s something for you in the kitchen. Love, Marcus x”

You smile at his little note. You quickly dress, before walking to his kitchen. There, on the counter, is a stack of blueberry pancakes and another note.

“It’s stuff like this where I come on too strong, right?”

You instantly smile, shaking your head. You slowly begin to realize that maybe he did mean everything he said last night. You look at the note again.

“I made you smile, didn’t I? Well, I hope you enjoy the pancakes and have a nice day. The door locks when you smack it behind you, so I didn’t leave you a key. That would have been too soon, right?”

Once again, you find yourself giggling. You feel butterflies in your stomach, something you haven’t in a while.

“You’re welcome to stay, though, if you want. But in case you leave, here is my number. Please call or text me. Love Marcus.

Ps. Is love too much?”

You shake your head in disbelief. Is this man even real and how is he single? You giggle as you eye the pancakes, biting your nails.

On your way out of his building, you open your phone, sending Marcus a message.

“Thank you for the delicious pancakes. And yes, you made me smile. Love y/n. (And yes, love is too much, but who cares if it feels right?)”

You take a final look at the text before sending it, smiling. You walk down the street, already excited about what the future may hold.

Thank you so much for reading <3

Tagging a few people (hope it's okay):

@yespolkadotkitty @lucy-sky @sweetfictionalworld @pascalslittlebrat @chasingdreamer @wyn-n-tonic @pilothusband @wardenparker @a-reader-and-a-writer @221bshrlocked @songsformonkeys @charnelhouse @thirstworldproblemss @absurdthirst @bison-writes @alpaca-swimsuit @fan-of-encouragement @amneris21

But please tell me if you don't wanna be tagged.

#marcus pike x reader #marcus pike #marcus pike fanfiction #marcus pike x plus size! reader #plus size reader

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tharros-auris-black-asimi · 3 years

Text

Warmth

Pairing: Alpha Beefy Bucky x Female Mutant Reader

Summary: Being paired off with Bucky Barnes on a mission was hard enough. Hell, the two of you being a part of Hydra a long time ago was already hard enough. But when the two of you are forced to seek shelter in an Avengers safehouse, it gets even worse.

Because there's only one freaking bed.

Will you survive the night with the grumpy Alpha by your side? Or will you rip your hair out?

Who knows. The nights are unpredictable.

What you do know is, is that Bucky Barnes is too fucking hot for his damn good.

Maybe you just might pull your hair out.

Warnings: Heavy A/B/O dynamics. Mentions of past torture from Hydra for both Bucky and the Reader. This Bucky is sort of a mix between CW!Bucky, (hence the beefy!Bucky), but also TFATWS!Bucky bc I love grumpy old man, sassy Bucky. Some angst/hurt/comfort, because I'm a hoe for angst. No heats/ruts in this lil fic, just good ole rough smut. Some biting and some mild blood too. This sex would be considered unprotected irl, but in the a/b/o verse, I don't think you'd need protection??? Who knows. Italics are for when Bucky and the Reader are talking in Russian. The Reader also has a nightmare, which ties back in with the whole mention of past torture from Hydra. If I missed any other warnings in this, let me know and I'll make sure to add them!

Additional Notes: This was written for @agentofbarnes's writing challenge! Congrats on 7k, Zee! I'm sorry this took so long. I started writing this in July, and let it marinate for far too long. But it's here now. I hope you enjoy!

All writing mistakes in this fic are mine, as usual.

Word Count: 4,602

Hell.

This was absolute pure fucking hell.

As you and the former Winter Soldier, James "Bucky" Barnes himself stared at the front door of one of the safehouses for the Avengers in case of emergencies, you couldn't help make eye contact with him.

Great. This was just great.

No one, not even Clint had told you that it would be snowing in freaking January in rural Ohio, of all places.

Then again, you had faintly remembered doing gymnastics before you had been taken by Hydra with some arrogant Alpha guy named Lance. He had been a real pain in your ass and you remembered you had made him cry once. After you had escaped from Hydra, you had bumped into him again. Funnily enough, he was still just as scared of you as he was all those years ago. Which, you know, was nice.

But what was not nice was the Alpha that was currently looking back at you. James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky, Buck, White Panther, Jesus, Bionic Staring Machine- (the last three nicknames, all given to him by the Alpha Sam Wilson himself), scowled at you. His blue eyes even narrowed at you.

You wouldn't call what you and Bucky had a friendship. You two weren't even enemies. Heck, colleagues? Teammates? That was just putting it lightly, the relationship you had with the Alpha. Even when you had been captured and brainwashed into serving Hydra, the two of you had never crossed paths. It had been only after Hydra had fallen, did the two of you actually meet in person. Other than that, nothing. Nada. Nope. No with a capital N.O.

"Come on, let's go." Bucky all but grumbled. Realizing he didn't have the key to get inside, he looked at you. Like you had the key or something.

"James, I don't have the key." Bucky groaned. "Do you have a bobby pin, Omega? Something?" He asked in Russian. You plucked a bobby pin from your hair. A stray piece of hair fell. Putting the flat side in, you managed to unlock the door. You turned to look at him, giving him a toothy grin.

"Learned that from Pit Pocketing for Dummies, 101."

Bucky rolled his eyes at that. You just sniggered as you opened the door, greeted by cool air smacking against your face.

It made you shiver.

Because, unlike Bucky, you did not have any of that good ole supersoldier serum in your veins.

You were a mutant that could control water. Sometimes, you wished that you had the ability to control fire, because then, at least you could be warm in such dire situations such as these.

Taking your shoes off and putting them at the door, you surveyed the place.

It was a small house. Like a cozy little cottage. Probably only had at least two rooms at the max. It certainly gave off that vibe. There was a fireplace in the living room. A fully furnished kitchen, complete with a little wooden table with benches instead of individual chairs near the window.

Your grip on your bag of clothes became tighter as you realized that you needed to take a shower. Your stomach grumbled, alerting Bucky that you were hungry. Your comms had died. The two of you could contact no one until you charged them.

Which meant for at least tonight, or whenever the snowstorm outside stopped, you only had Bucky Barnes for company.

Well. That certainly would be pleasant.

"Go and shower first. I'll make dinner."

***

After your shower, you walked back into the kitchen, your sweet smell that reminded Bucky of deserts that his Ma used to make for him and his younger sisters back in Brooklyn drifted towards his nose. Thanks to the serum, he had already smelled it a mile away.

Cinamon rolls. Apple turnovers. Apple pies. Pumpkin pies. Bucky felt his Alpha rumble at the smell. Even Winter stirred at the familiar scent he loved so much.

When Bucky had gotten the trigger words wiped away from him due to Princess Shuri's genius, the Winter Soldier hadn't gone away from him. Rather, Winter had become a part of Bucky. Winter had been what Bucky became to survive Hydra. Winter was Bucky, only darker. More possessive. The deepest, darkest thing of him that the Wakandan Elders had helped him find again and reconcile with.

It was during times like this, making dinner in the kitchen that reminded him so much of his time back in Wakanda. Taking care of his farm and his pet goats, (that he sadly couldn't bring back with him when coming back to America), that he missed the most. It was domestic, in a way. He could almost feed into the fantasy, the thought that you were his Omega, his Bondmate, and that he was just making dinner for you.

From an outsider's perspective, it might've looked like Bucky didn't like you. That he just tolerated you. Treated you like how he treated everyone else in his life.

But it was the contrary.

He liked you.

He liked you very, very much. Other than Steve, Natalia, and heck, even the winged pigeon- you were one of the only people to truly understand him. You were probably even on the same playing field as Natalia, because you knew what it was like to be controlled by the Russian government. You held him at an arm's length at most, and you never treated him like he was some fragile, broken man. When you treated his wounds, you never fretted like other Omega's. Nor did you dottle. Ask him if he was okay every five seconds. It was disappointing in a way.

Bucky turned his head, just as you hopped yourself onto the counter, away from the conduction stove.

The smell of butter pasta was filling your nose. You watched with rapt attention as Bucky shut off the stove, grabbed the freshly grated cheese, and dumping it in. To hell with calories. Stirring quickly for a few seconds, he stopped. Turning his head to look at you, he gave you a low smirk. His scent of something sandalwood, oceany filling your nose. It made your Omega preen.

"Get some bowls, will ya doll? And forks too." Hopping off of the countertops, he heard a chirping, yet sarcastic reply.

"Yes, Sarge."

He felt his pants tighten at the thought. Hearing you grab all of the stuff, he swallowed.

Not that he would tell you that.

No.

Never.

***

"Oh, you've gotta be fucking with me."

So, as luck would have it. There weren't two bedrooms.

Nope.

There was only one.

Not only that, the entire room was fully furnished. A closet was on the left side of the door, against the wall. There was a window and just a bit to right, in the middle of the room, was a queen-sized bed, all made up with all the fluffiest blankets, comforters, and pillows imaginable.

"And you're sure this is the only room?" Bucky said. "Yeah! It's the only one, James. It's either this or the couch. And I'm not sleeping on the couch. It's too cold. Whoever built this safehouse didn't have any heaters built in either. Fuck, is this how I die? Freezing to death?" Your voice was getting higher with concern.

Bucky just rolled his eyes.

"No, doll. You're not to freeze to death. We're going to share that bed."

You turned your head towards him like he had just grown a second head. "What?" you exclaimed. "No. No, no, no. Noooo. James. Nu-uh. Uh-uh. I'm not going to sleep with you in my tank top and underwear. the least you've seen me in is a pair of short shorts and a tank top."

Bucky inhaled deeply through his nostrils.

Get yourself together Barnes.

Don't throw her over your shoulder.

Don't do that.

"You're a water mutant, doll. You're not a fire mutant. You aren't a supersoldier either. I'm not letting you freeze to death. I'll keep you warm all night. Better yet, don't sleep in your tank top and shorts. Our body heats will do just fine." Bucky snapped at you. You were still trying to collect your thoughts.

And then the realization, the reality of your situation, smacked you right across the face.

Bucky was asking you to sleep naked.

With him.

In the same frigging bed together.

Oh you were going to die. You were going to die and go up to wherever other spirits went to after they died. You weren't really all that religious nor spiritual.

But tonight though?

Yeah. Maybe you believed. Maybe a little.

Just the slightest bit.

"Okay, okay," you grumbled, "I won't wear any clothes. Better yet, I'll even give you a show. That'll even out the odds, James."

***

Warm.

He was just oh so warm.

Your back was flush against his front, feeling skin-on-skin.

You had stopped shivering about an hour ago.

Bucky had scouted the safehouse, to see if there was actually a heater, in case you had missed anything.

Nope.

There were no heaters in the safehouse.

Absolutely none.

Not to mention, all of the blankets weren't as thick. From what Bucky had observed a few hours ago after dinner while you had tackled the task of doing the dishes, was that the safe house had been abandoned for a while. It was either that, or nobody had stocked this place up for a while.

He had chosen the latter.

With his strong arms wrapped around your stomach, he pulled you close. You were asleep. Dead asleep. Bucky felt and saw your body rise up and down as you slept, your breaths all evened out.

It was nice, almost. Outside was quiet. Bucky could hear other than your breathing only the soft wind blowing due to the snowstorm outside.

For a moment, Bucky was lulled into a sense of calm. His mind was clear. His Alpha and Winter were quiet. He didn't have to fret. Or look over his shoulder. Didn't have to second guess himself or his actions anymore.

And then he heard it.

Soft whimpers coming from the sweet-smelling Omega that he was currently holding in his arms. You had begun to squirm, arms thrashing out. Your legs smacked on his knees, trying to desperately claw yourself free from his tightening grip on you.

"... I'll be good... just don't chuck me in the freezer again... please sir... I hate it there... please don't chuck me in the freezer, please..." you were sobbing in your sleep. You started to blubber, continually trying to claw yourself out of Bucky's grip. The metal plates of his Vibrainum arm shifted as his metal fingers tightened around your stomach. Bucky knew not to apply too much pressure on you- you weren't like him, Steve, or Natalia. You didn't have the serum in you.

"Doll? Hey, doll. C'mon, wake up. It's not real." Bucky tried shaking you awake to no avail. You had continued to thrash in his arms.

Sniffling loudly, your Omega was thrashing in her cage, in the confines of your mind. She was whispering, yelling at you to wake up.

"Omega. Wake up."

Bucky didn't mean to use his Tone. But you were being so hysterical, shaking, and crying to the point where it was beginning to worry him. Your sweet scent had begun to twist and turn into something more burnt. Singed. It made his eyes water.

You stopped thrashing in his grip. Your body froze up at his use of his Tone. Your Omega stopped throwing her temper tantrum too. She had paused for a second.

Her Alpha had given her a Command.

So why wouldn't she listen?

Peering from her cage in the confines of your mind, she sighed happily.

Alpha. Alpha cares about us. She whispered in your ear.

Slowly returning to consciousness, you struggled to know where you were for a second.

You had been having a nightmare.

A full-fledged nightmare.

You hadn't had one of those in a while.

"... Where am I?" Your voice was gentle but confused.

You still didn't know if you were still in that godforsaken Hydra facility or not. But you just wanted to make sure.

"Here, doll. You're here with me. We're in Ohio, remember? Sharin' one bed together cause I don't wanna be a bad Alpha and letcha freeze to death." Bucky said.

You couldn't help it. You snuggled into him, hearing a deep rumble coming from his chest. Bucky's Alpha was pleased. Very pleased. Winter was quiet. Which surprised Bucky. The little shit was usually more vocal about his own needs these days.

For a moment, it felt okay. You felt that weird fog lifting. Your brain slowly settling in your current surroundings. Your sweet, filling scent that had twisted and burnt into something smoky and burnt was slowly wearing off.

You were still a little shaken up. You could still hear your screaming echoing in your head. Your voice trembling, and because you didn't know if you were still stuck in the facility, "How long?"

"Not long."

Bucky watched as you lifted your head up, blinking once. And then twice. And then again, just to be sure.

Your body felt like it still wasn't physically here. Your body still felt like it was back in the cryo chamber, stuck in that damn freezer. Bucky watched your chest heave up and down. Taking in deep breaths.

Then you flopped right back into your previous spot, your back facing his front. Bucky pulled you back with his metal arm. You heard the metal plates in his arm readjust and move. You couldn't help it. Your vagina throbbed at the sound. Chewing on your bottom lip, you wiggled a little bit.

A deep rumble had come from Bucky.

The metal-armed Alpha had pushed a little bit of his weight down on you. Making you feel all warm and safe with the sandalwood and salty scent wrapped all around you like a cocoon.

You wiggled up against him again, trying to get comfortable. Your eyes closed.

A deep groan came from Bucky.

Was he asleep?

You stopped moving.

Another groan came from Bucky. His arms were wrapped around you. Not tightly, but still. It was kinda nice in a way. You could feel every muscle on his broad chest against your back.

Maybe Bucky had the right idea to sleep naked after all.

You shifted again. Trying to wiggle out a little out of the embrace.

A deep growl rumbled from Bucky. His grip on you tightened. You squirmed against him again.

Voice gravelly, "Stop moving."

Your eyes flew open.

He was awake.

And you had been-

Letting out a hiss, Bucky pushed his entire weight onto you and grinded his half-hard cock against your ass cheeks. Not even caring about if his entire weight would crush you, because of the serum.

He saw red.

Pure absolute red.

You choked. A needy little whimper filled the room.

Bucky's metal hand traveled down, all the way down to your pussy, his knee pushing your legs apart. You were panting in anticipation, eyes wide as saucers. His metal fingers were shoved deep, all the way to the knuckles. A pitiful whine left your lips. A needy whine too.

When he entered you, a choked sob escaped from your lips. Your hands curled into fists, eyes rolling into the back of your head as the formerly brainwashed assassin let out a growl.

"So sick and tired of you teasin' me," was what the former Winter Soldier growled under his breath, hissing at the way your cunt wrapped around him. Slick was smeared around your inner thighs, and you couldn't help but sob at the feeling of being so full.

Bucky was groaning above you, his hands nearing shaking.

Never had he ever thought he could ever get to do this again.

Because Bucky very much still liked sex. He very much so was a sexual creature. Being inside you gave him flashes of his life before Hydra. It made him remember a much skinner, smaller Steve. A much duller, war-stricken Brooklyn. It made him remember the giggles of Omegas. It made him remember his Ma's cooking growing up. Rebecca's giggles in his ears. Just like the old times.

Not for the first time in his life, he didn't feel trapped.

He felt free.

This was freeing to him.

And when he began to move, position his hips against your back, smacking roughly. Good enough to leave marks in the morning.

Wet, squishing noise echoed noisily every time he bottomed out of you. Every thrust in, filling you, completing you. It sent you gasping and crying out into the pillows. His hands- both metal and flesh, reached under you, to grab ahold of your breasts in a tight grip that only made you sob for more.

"More, more, more, please James, please-"

Something snapped in him.

Broke.

Bucky had never felt this feral before. The last time he felt this feral had been the hours when he first presented.

You whined loudly when he slid out of you, crying out at the empty feeling. Your Omega screeched in alarm.

Why had her Alpha stopped? Why?

Grabbing ahold of your legs, he lifted them up. Before he thrusted back in again, filling you up to the brim. It was deeper than last time, and his cock hit that spongy part. Hit your g-spot so good that you screamed into the pillows.

You were coming. You were coming so fast, that deep coil inside you snapping like a bomb wire being cut that you never got the chance to feel your programs. Your body jolted, spasmed. Your legs lifted off of the bed or at least tried to. Bucky's body weight was still keeping you down. So all you could do was grip the bedsheets when Bucky started to pound into you again, taking all he could.

You couldn't help yourself. You glanced back, just to take a glimpse of him.

James Buchanan Barnes looked downright feral and your pussy clenched around him deeper at the sight. as if she knew.

Every thrust made him go deeper, hitting your cervix every time. It made your second orgasm piggyback off of your first one, sobbing into the pillows. It was only when your second orgasm came, your walls clenching down onto his cock that Bucky's teeth sank into your shoulder, shattering, breaking the skin there. The taste of copper filling his mouth. Bucky let out a grunt as he came. Filling you up with so much of his jizz that he was sure it would drip from you tomorrow morning.

Bucky lifted his mouth from your shoulder.

Pants filled the room as the two of you tried to regain yourselves.

Bucky shifted, moving off of you and lying beside you. His eyes weren't black anymore. They were back to their normal blue. They reminded you of the sea in the morning on a peaceful day.

Your hand came to touch his face. Your hand faltered, trembled though. Because you were nervous.

"It's okay," his voice was deeper, huskier. It made your pussy throb. "You can touch me. It's okay."

Your hands came to touch, cup his jaw. You leaned in, pressing your lips against his. His lips were soft. Your lips moved together, his tongue slipping into your mouth. The kiss became deeper. You hadn't expected it to become deeper. You had been just going for an innocent kiss.

You swore.

Like- you really did.

You didn't expect to be fully making out with James Buchanan Barnes.

But it wasn't like you were complaining though.

Because you weren't.

Bucky was the first one to pull away. He could see how red, bruised your lips looked. He didn't recoil from your gentle touch on his face. He welcomed it. He truly did. Hands holding your hips, he looked at you.

His lips traveled down to your mating gland. He touched over it with his tongue, giving it a broad lick. His teeth sank in, piercing the skin.

Your ears popped. You cried out. His grip on your hips didn't falter.

"Yes, yes, yes," you gasped. Bucky lifted his mouth up from your gland, before sinking his teeth back in and biting again. Making his mark all that deeper.

It was only when he lifted his mouth from your gland, wiped your blood off of him with the blanket did you come at him, sinking your teeth into his gland. It made him grunt, even groan. His flesh hand came to your head, pushing your head down, making you sink your teeth even deeper into his gland.

"Yesss," hissed Bucky, his flesh hand sinking into your hair, gripping it. "Deeper, doll. Go deeper."

Winter and his Alpha completely agreed.

Theirs.

You were theirs.

After what seemed an eternity, you lifted your head up. Wiping your mouth on the blanket, you spoke.

"I missed you. What did you do to get us paired on this mission? I thought I was going with Sam," you said to your Alpha. A smirk stretched over Bucky's lips. "Ah," your Alpha said, still smirking, "I might've put something in his drink to make him vomit his guts out. He got sick."

A noise came from you.

"You gave him food poisoning? James!" You scolded him. Bucky leaned back against the headboard. "Don't worry doll, it'll wear off when we come back to the Compound. Bird Brain won't even know what hit him."

You shook your head in disbelief.

"You're unbelievable, Sasha. Did you teach Natalia that trick, too? Hmm? She and all of your Widow students?"

Bucky was still grinning ear to ear at you when he responded back.

"Well little bird, someone had to teach them. After all, I was their teacher. They all called me Yasha. Speaking of my Widow students..." he trailed off in Russian. You looked at him.

"You've contacted one of the KBG? About that leaked Russian tape with the orange man that is, unfortunately, our President?" He asked you. You nodded. "Yeah, Sasha. Everything's going as planned. Although, I think assassinating the orange man would've been a much better option. We would've gone in there and made it a done deal by now! Fuckin' Steve and his righteous self." You grumbled unhappily.

"Hmm. It would've been great as a date night. Don't you think, doll?" Bucky drawled. You gave a serious nod.

"Although... seeing him freak out on Twitter is much, much better. The tea is better when it's hot." You grinned. Bucky just let out a sigh.

"I'm restricting your phone privileges. And your TV privileges. You need to stop watching those drama channels, Mega."

A noise of deep discomfort came from you.

"Sasha!" you whined, "then what will I do while you're gone on missions?"

"Wait for me to come back?" Bucky suggested. You just sighed. Even shook your head in fondest. You happily snuggled up to your Alpha, your nose rubbing up against your Mate's gland. "I always wait for you to come back, Sasha. I wait and I worry. I love you, James."

A deep rumble came from your Mate.

"I love you too, Little Omega."

Your head peeked up.

"So, can we tell the rest of the team when I leak the tape?" You asked, your eyes glimmering with mischief.

Bucky burst out laughing.

"Yes, yes, yes. We can tell them once you've wreaked havoc, Omega."

"Good." You were nodding seriously, in complete agreement. "It'll be fun. And... also, I forgot to tell you."

The joyful expression on Bucky's face was suddenly replaced with one of worry.

"What? What is it?" He asked gently. "When you were gone for your last mission two months ago... I... I came off of my suppressants. I'm ready, James. I want a family with you."

Shock flickered over Bucky's face. And then he was shoving you back into the bed with a shriek coming from you.

"When's your pre-heat?" He demanded.

You felt it. A cramp. It made you whimper.

"N-Now, James. Now," you stammered. Your Alpha pulled your legs apart roughly before he thrusted back into you, making you gasp.

"Say it," he hissed. "Say you want it. Say you want my knot. Say you want my pups."

"I want it, James." Your voice was a low whisper, even staggering a little bit. "I want your knot. I want your pups. Please. Please, Sasha."

His hands, both metal, and flesh gripped your shoulder tight as that vein of his neck nearly popped. His eyes were black with want. Soon, his Rut would be upon him and he'd breed you. Put his pup in you. You'd carry his pup. He'd have the pack that Winter and his Alpha desperately wanted after all these years.

A whine came from you when he pulled out, only to let out a scream when he thrusted back in. Hitting that part of you that made your eyes roll into the back of your head. Your mouth fell open, but no words came out.

His pace was brutal, not even letting you hold onto him. Your hands were left to grip the bedsheets again. You gripped them so tight that your knuckles turned white and you thought that they were going to pop.

Bucky continued to push, continued to shove his ejaculate deeper and deeper inside of you. A mixture of your slick and his ejaculate smeared all over your thighs and trickled down your legs, and you just didn't know what was happening. Your hindbrain was telling you that this was what was needed. That your designation wanted, nay, demanded this. After all the shit you had gone through, your Omega had found her Alpha and now, now she was determined to have a family. Have the pack she desperately desired.

"Mine."

A harsh thrust made you sob.

"You're mine now. I waited for you for so long. Wanted you for so long. You're mine now. Got my Mark. Got my clothes in your nest. Gonna give you my name. Gonna give you my pups. You're mine. All mine. Say you're mine. Say it!"

You came screaming. Your orgasm making you see white. Bucky continued slamming into you, the wet, squishing noises coming from your pussy becoming louder and louder the more he pushed in. Your teeth sank into his flesh shoulder, shattering and piercing the skin there. You tasted copper in your mouth.

Bucky came with a shout. He shoved you back completely, making you shriek. And then he was leaning in again, sinking his teeth into your gland. Making another deep mark. It made you fall limp into the bed as his knot swelled, locking the two of you in place.

He lifted his head.

Being inside you... knotted inside of you... it was bliss. It was just as good as cockwarming. His cock all nestled deep inside of you whenever you two would sneak off to sleep together.

"Bite me again. Give me your mark, Omega." he panted. Slowly, your head went up, you slowly sat up, before taking in a deep breath and sinking your teeth back into his gland.

Home.

You had brought Bucky home. He held you tight, whispering in your ear how much he loved you and how much of a good Omega you were.

"I love you Omega." His voice was rough.

Lifting your head from his gland. Blood still trickling down the corners of your mouth. You offered him a smile. A genuine one. One that made his stomach all fluttery.

"I love you too, Alpha."

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