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safyresky · 5 months

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🆕 Crystal Springs Chapter 29: Mind Goop now up on ao3/ff dot net!

Chapter 29: Mind Goop

After a good night's rest, Blaise sets to work tying up loose ends among the denizens of the North Pole, and charming his way through Santa's in-laws. Meanwhile, Santa crashes Jack's pity party and Elle checks in with Jacqueline, maybe a little too literally.

ao3 | ff dot net

In my heart of hearts, I call this chapter the "Blinter Gay Panic" chapter. Those mofos are out here charming the crap outta Carol, outta Santa, and Blaise does a NUMBER on the in-laws (not before they do a number on him!)

Have an excerpt ;)

Blaise looked down. Below him, baby Buddy had tottered over, sitting in the foam on the floor and smacking it with his hands. Carol rushed over, picking him up and pulling him out. He giggled, kicking his legs as foam went flying. “Looks like someone needs to be hosed down,” Santa joked, hoping to cut the tension. “No need,” Blaise said, snapping his fingers again. In a flash, Buddy was clean; foam gone, his clothes nicely pressed, and his bib clear of food stains new and old. “There we go! All tidy,” Blaise said, making a silly face at the toddler. Buddy giggled, kicking his legs happily as Carol sat him on her side. Clearing his throat, Blaise looked up at the Claus’s extended family and flashed them a prize-winning smile. “Hi. Frost, Blaise Frost. Governor of the Capitol of Crystal Springs and baby cleaner extraordinaire.” He winked, his hair fwooshing to life, briefly bending like a flickering candle before once more burning brightly at an acceptable height. “Oh, wow,” Sylvia said, sultry. “Wow!” Bud agreed, impressed. “Bud Newman! Father-in-Law of Christmas!” Placing down the fire extinguisher, he stuck out his hand. Blaise shook it enthusiastically. “Some grip you got there, Governor.” “Playing with fire works wonders on the old grippers,” he teased, letting go of Bud’s hand and turning to look at Sylvia. “And this is the lovely Mrs. Newman?” “Just Sylvia is fine,” she said, patting her hair and giving him her hand. Blaise took it, very briefly kissing her knuckles. She flushed. “He’s got ‘em,” Santa whispered to Carol. “Hook, line, and sinker baby,” Carol replied, the pair of them bumping fists.

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE THIS! OR AFTER THIS! Or maybe you will! With a chapter title like MIND GOOP? I ain't SLICK. Or maybe I am! Who's to say? YOUS to say!

That's RIGHT! You can check Chapter 29: Mind Goop out HERE on ao3 and HERE on fanfiction dot net and be the judge of how slick tumblr user safyresky really is!

Want to start from the top? Check out the Prologue: An Encounter HERE on ao3 and HERE on ff dot net!

Story summary and SafyreSky Industries Ramblings below the cut!

It's been almost a year since Jack Frost thawed and things are looking...well, not so great. Jack's powers are seemingly gone. Without them, the Dome that keeps the North Pole safe from the cold and its magic controlled is melting, putting everything and everyone magical at risk. Unable to hide his power shortage any longer, Jack is forced to admit the truth. Thankfully, there is a solution: enacting the Legate Law, bringing Jack and the sister that he hurt so many centuries ago back together again. But when Jacqueline starts experiencing destructive blackouts, the pair are forced to head back home to Crystal Springs, bringing Jack face to face with the rest of the family. Needless to say, between getting his powers back, helping his sister figure out what in the FROST those blackouts even were, reconciling with his parents, meeting the two even younger siblings he didn't even KNOW he had, NOT TO MENTION the ancient threat that's had it out for the ENTIRE Frost family finally making a move? Saving Christmas (regrettably) is looking to be a little bit...complicated.

SO sorry for the SLIGHT delay!! I think I spent like 75% of December taking care of sick husband/being a little low energy/feeling unwell, and then holidays came around and were BUSY. AND FULL OF MORE SICKNESS. This time the hubbers and I got hit with a stomach bug like no other AFTER CHRISTMAS DAY. I've never had to put so much effort into tossing my cookies in my LIFE. GAH.

The other problem I ran into was, funnily enough, Jacqueline and Elle. Their mind goop scene wasn't hitting right, so I let the chapter sit for a bit while rereading older Jacquie/Elle bits and rereading Rules of Engagement and when I finally looked back at it I realized the PROBLEM was that THESE TWO GOOBERS. HAD M O R E TO SAY TO ONE ANOTHER!!!!!!

WHAT DO YOU TWO HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELVES?

UNBELIEVABLE.

Goobers aside, here it FINALLY is :3.

🆕 this chapter:

Blaise decided he was going to be present for the rescue Polly mission, too

(that was a whole OTHER writing problem, oy vey)

(the cast has taken control. i don't even think i'm in the CAR anymore! I think I fell out!)

Both he and I continue to be plagued by CS Lore (magical incidents and how they are taken care of, the CS equivalent of "Police" and how they work, Mother Nature apparently having absolute power in extreme circumstances--though that checks out, AND some Call/Fae War Lore Drops)

This, of course, means you all get fresh CS Lore!

Next time I rework CS it's gonna be to separate it from Fandom and make it a publishable original work

WORD COUNT: CS 2014 (OG)->6,055k CS 202X-> 15,444k

Yet another MASSIVE change lmao

And I think that about covers it! MUCHAS thanks to mr alex hirsch for unleashing gravity falls onto the world and making me aware of GRUNKLE as a title, which Lucy 100% would use and WILL USE. I think Sylvia is like "just Sylvia is fine dear" and Lucy's like "Consider: GRAUNTIE SYLVIA!" (bc you can't convince me that Bud and Sylvia wouldn't be brought into the blended family the way the Millers and Scott did it, lmao)

Goal for Chapter 30: write it, first off, lmao. I'm two scenes in?? But I'm HOPING to have it ready for Crystal Spring's TENTH Birthday on the 20th of this month. TEN YEARS. MAHOOSIVE. AH.

Anyway, enjoy the chapter and enjoy your weekends! I will be cleaning at my folk's house so ANY AND ALL NICE WORDS AND COMMENTS AND DISTRACTIONS ARE APPRECIATED AS I AM TIRED AND FAMILY'D OUT AND WILL NEED THE SEROTONIN, LOL.

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prettyboykatsuki · 2 years

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ARI. FANG. MY LOVE, MY BABY MY JOY. YOUR EREMIN FIC JUST DROVE ME ABSOLUTELY INSANE. I AM SCREAMING, CREAMING, CRYING, CUMMING ALL OF IT. you deserve yo ass ate for writing this fr. i feel like making those super clickbait-y titles after reading this. SLUTTY COLLEGE GIRL PASSES TF OUT IN DORM ROOM AFTER READING THIS SREAMY STORY⁉️🥵😱🤭💦 lmaooo it’s THAT good. this is gonna be long but i NEED to praise you for this masterpiece. bout to have me coming off anon n shit lmaoooo. bout to have me obsess over you. i am joking. but i am also so so serious 😭

ARMIN. ARMINNNNN. THE WAY YOU WROTE HIM???? HE’S SO- lemme calm down. the fact that this man enjoys seeing reader cry? SICK. SICK but so hot ahhh. he’s so insane he’s just like me for reallll he’s a MENACE. but the fact that he’s also such a sensitive baby??? “i’m sensitive pretty” DON’T SAY THAT. I WILL RUIN YOU ARLERT. the fact that reader thought that too???? I KIN THEM. i have never ever in my life read a fic where reader was subbing and related to it. but THIS? their personality????? CHEFS KISS I WAS SO IMMERSED. so many of the things reader said and did i replied with “word? word.” like— i am. them. i will kiss you just for the way you wrote reader. then, i’ll kiss you AGAIN because we got to ride armin at the end???? that’s my specialty i literally said 😋😋. my DREAM. no but armin had me kicking my feet in this fic ohmyGOD i went insane reading his parts. i love both armin and eren so much, but he had my face WARM. he’s such a FUCKING tease for edging reader????? armin you crazy mofo 😡 i was hurt like but like. do it again please. thanks. LMAO. but he was so nice too, it still felt like armin. you never disappoint when it comes to characterization. EVERR. when he finally ate reader out? when i tell you i was GONE. i felt high reading that part, i ascended. the way you described it? it’s so armin. but also?? ari. fang. dude. the way you wrote that? what are them digits—nah u gotta bf lemme stop. 😭 IM JOKING SWEAR! IM SORRY. & it’s the way that i’d enjoy making armin cry too??? the pillows would be soaked with both our tears DAILY 😭 i want him in my guts. im already such an armin lover but you made it worse OH GOD i am going to. i am going to. pass out. then after i awake i will fuck heeeeem. “you want me to make you feel better?” YES. YES. welcome to the armin fucker club ari. come sit by meeeee !!! lolol. when reader said “i want you to make me cum o-or whatever” i snorted. ah. retweet. love them.

and eren 🥺 FUCK. he’s so fucking hot dude. he’s so gruff in this fic, so imposing. but it’s the hottest thing i’ve ever read in my entire life. he’s so big and handsome. mm. just wanna eat him up. and. and when he blushed when reader said he makes them nervous as well— goddamn he’s so fucking cute. i wanna squish his cheeks and i wanna commit several unholy acts with him LOLZ. “stop being cute so i can fuck you.” EREN I WILL LITERALLY FUCK UR FACE ILL CUM IN UR NOSTRILS. and when he fucked reader so good??? he FUCKS dude. i lost it. my underwear has drowned i fear. i was so sucked into armin but when erens parts came i smiled the hardest. at one part i literally smiled so freaking hard at sum dumb he said. i was like giggling like “shut up dude” —HOW CAN I TALK ABT HIM SO CASUALLY LIKE THAT WHEN I AM WAITING TO BE BRED???? WHEN I WANT HIM TO POUND READER STRAIGHT INTO THE BED!!? he’s just crazy like that. when the riding armin part came and he teased him for folding so easily? he will eat his words when the reader gets him. he willlll. when u were describing his fingers??? i. i. i?malfunctioned. when he finally put it in???? his moans and the depravity in his voice???? the cum for me “please”??? I WAS ALR DOING THAT DO NOT WORRY BABY. also reader is a champ. they kept getting up after allat that im like??? i would’ve literally had two x’s over my eyes and my tongue sticking out like how an anime character looks after they get knocked out. steam falling out of my head and all 😵‍💫 after armin ate the box. reader is a CHAMP. when eren suddenly said “you’re so fucking sexy” WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO ME. I. I. you are literally eren yeager dude WHAT? you invented sexy fym. when reader said “you too.” ahhhh again i love how you wrote them and they way they responded because MEEEE. I WANT HEEEEEEM. I WANT YOU EREN.

AND WHEN MIKASA CAME??? WHEN SHE WOKE UP NEXT TO US?? MY GAY ASS WAS SO FUCKIN HAPPY. when she said “do you like them?” i literally said aloud “not more than you” CAUSE??? IT’S MIKASA. you knew that the fic would be too powerful if you added mikasa i fear. i was so so happy she came. ah. WE WOKE UP NEXT TO HER SHE FUCKING CAME TO BED WITH US. she’s such a sweet person oooooooooo i am feral. mikasa is that character i like so fucking much that i can barely even talk about her 😭 because i want her so bad i like her soooo much omg so badly i am depraved over her. and she reciprocated readers feelings????? reader pls can i become you. mikasa. CALL ME BACK. when they kissed 🥺 that was the best part of the fic. mikasa please. spare me. i almost passed out for real when she came. ah. thank you ari so much for adding that reader is bi. seriously. also i keep saying “gay people in my phone” cause of you lmao. i am so sorry. this was very long. but i loved this fic. please know that i felt so good after reading this. god. i am alive, huh? ☺️ my heart was beating fast. it was indescribably good. my vocabulary is so so limited. m sorry if this is so dumb to read 😩 i promise i would use the most mouth watering words to describe this fic if i could. the soft cute moments had me kicking my feet. fang. ari. be careful i will fall for you ahhhhh i will kiss youuuuuuuuu. muah muah. kiss you all over your faceeeeeeeeee. u make me so soft lol i love ur writing and i’ve left so many anons saying so and i’ll never stop saying it until u come onto this blog and say “yk what? i’m a bomb ass writer. like damn. i am good. i got bitches goin’ bat shit crazy in my ask box over a fic i wrote it two days. i’m amazing.” and yk what i’ll say? “PERIOD.” no commas. and yk what else? i’ll kiss you for the fiftieth timeeeeeeeee. also if i made u uncomfortable w saying that or anything else pls lmk omg !! ok. i am going to go now. jeez, i spent so much time in this lil box 😭 but i had to tell you how fucking amazing this was before i pass out and go work for the white man tmrw. pls get plenty of sleep as i know u worked hard writing this. im glad it’s finished cause now u can relax n wrap urself in warm blankets and watch ur comfort show and eat some nice warm sweet food. byeeeee my loveeeee. see u later muahhhh

i...

(adding a cut bc i didnt realize how long this got)

i truly, honest to god himself, do not think words could ever possibly describe how utterly and completely happy this made me. i know i have a tendency to over-exaggerate, and i know that i tend to be ? i don't know. kinda insane at all hours of my life. i have a flair for theatrics, but i mean from the bottom of my heart when i say i just woke up like. 5? maybe ten minutes ago. and this is perhaps the nicest and kindest ask ive ever recieved in the entirety of my writing career. like i really am utterly speechless. i don't even think i could show you my gratitude correctly if i paid you money. im over the moon. im beyond grateful im so in shock over this ask i had to stare at it all day and even so i still don't know how to reply. im in amazement

like. i really do not deserve you. this is the nicest thing ive ever read and something anyone who write would be beyond happy over. and lilke. oh my god????? im going to burst into tears. i like. don't know how to reply im genuinely just feeling like .. devastated over how happy this made me. do you enjoy making me weep? do you enjoy making me cry like a little baby????? oh my god????? this is genuinely the best day of my life im so so unwell over this. it's such a long fic and im really proud of it but i was pretty overwhelmingly certain it wasn't gonna do that well but this????? this just????? im over the moon. ive lost my mind over this. i have a lot to say about this in general but i just... i need you to know that this one ask is going to be permanently in my head forever and ever. like i don't think ill ever stop thinking about the fact you took the time to just.. yell in my inbox like this and take so much care and notice of my writing. i love you

im so glad you enjoyed armin!!!!!! im so glad he came off the way i wanted him too because i really wanted him to come off as this like odd but nice guy LMAODKSJ he's such a pervert however!!!!!!! what could be better than that!!!!!! WAAHHHHH i really liked making this reader feisty and fun. i just didn't want the dynamic to be overly unrealistic if u will? and to me, all three of them sort of switching who has control and stuff like that just felt much more realistic. IM GLAD U RELATEDD !!! it makes me so happy to hear that

god. er*n in this fic is a FIEND lmao i know he's just so intense here. i think eren on how own is already like but then like? idk next to armin it's just one of those things where you get to see the full intensity!!!!!! LIKE HE'S JUST SO MUCH.. i indulged my hand kink by letting his rings stay on like the freak i am but IM GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT AAAAAAAH!!!!!!! im so happy i really think i could die like this genuinely been the highlight of the last 3 months of my life im not kidding.

AND MIKASA.... I WAS SO HAPPY TO INCLUDE HER. i was expecting to just add her in as a tie-in but honestly i'd love to write a sequel where those two have some alone time. she's such an integral part of their dynamic im always <333 over it.

i know i said this for like 4 paragraphs but this is genuinely one of the nicest asks ive ever recieved about my work ever in the history of ever. like i don't even know how to express that to but thank you thank you thank you. i really needed to hear this and i hope you have the best day of your life ever. oh my god.

#return to sender #hall of fame #im literally so speechless over this im going to burst into tears

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infinitegalahad · 3 years

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GENERATION KILL: COMFORTING THERE PARTNER

"This is just me formally submitting a request for that gk boys offering their own forms of comfort fic/ headcanon/ thoughts wtevr. Lol just as a reminder. 😀"@theboardwalkbody

Gif Credit: @ymagor

A/N: You're wish is my command, homes❣️ Here's a little change of pace! @theboardwalkbody inspired this post (and asked it!), so thanks for the Inspo friend! 🤩 I'm doing this for BoB and TP because I'm going through a slight writer's block and instead of thinking about long descriptions, I just wanna so head canons that get a little out of hand. I hope this isn't too ooc😔 Reader has *inserted mental illness* btw, it's up for interpretation! ALSO GN! READER! Enjoy!

Taglist: @theboardwalkbody @contrabandhothead

Masterlist

NATE FICK-

Nate's a calculated person. He can see the patterns in people, things, etc. Like how his father's eyebrows wrinkle when he's excited, or when his mother likes to prep a meal from vegetables to the main course. So when you're happy, sad, whatever-he knows it, and you don't even have to tell him.

He'll come home and see you. He knows that you've heard him calling you're name, but you don't move. He looks all over the house and finds you inside of your tub, just sitting there with no response. The water is running, and your clothes and hair are soaked.

So in an attempt to not disrupt your peace, Nate climbs in and sits next to you. You look over and he's stares at you. Just as your about to speak, he beats you to it.

"I'll get you a towel and some clothes."

And then, he just leaves. You hear the door quietly shut, and you blink for a few seconds. What the hell just happened? It snapped you out of your depressive trance. Now instead of feeling sad-you just were confused.

So you hear the door lightly open again and then close. After a few more minutes of soaking, you get out and see a towel and a set of clothes that are most certainly not yours. It's Nate's Dartmouth Lacrosse sweater and a pair of underwear-he knows you too well.

So you exit the bathroom and you see Nate, putting two cups down of you're favorite tea

And he's got that face. You know the face were he's like ☹️

"Hey, c'mere."

The two of you climb into bed with eachtoher. He throws one of those ugg blankets over you. You rest his head in his chest and he pats your head. There's a silence, until Nate says, "Do you wanna walk about it."

Normally, you'd say no and he'd read you a book you're reading or hold you as you cry, but this time, it's different.

"Yeah, I do. You won't judge, right?"

Nate tilts you chin up, and he's got a tired smile on his face.

"Why would I?"

BRAD COLBERT-

Brad may appear horrible with emotions and reading the room...in which he isn’t

Okay, scratch that. He tries to understand them, it’s just hard for him to give advice and use words to comfort you. He feels like he’s walking on glass, But sometimes, you just need him psychically more then anything.

When you storm out of a room when Chaffin makes a comment on your weight, Brad takes a few minutes to think what he should do.

Normally, he’d just leave you be, but he’s gotta do something. Getting up, he follows you down the hallway. You’re not far, and he’s calling you’re name.

You stop in the hallway, wiping the tears coming down toye face. Brad turns you around with his hands on your shoulder. He’s got a blank face on as he looks at you, seeing your red face and the tears.

While you sob and stutter, he fixes the collar of your shirt, tucks your hair behind your ear, which is normal. He likes to neaten you up to make you feel better.

But he starts to use his thumb, wiping the tears coming down your face. You shocked as he cups your face, making you look into those icy cold eyes. He looks like the Iceman, cold and emotionless, but what he says very Brad.

“You’re beautiful.”

Then he pulls you into a tight grasp. He’s a whole foot taller then you, and you like the way he snakes his hands around his waist and slightly lifts off you your feet. His sheer presence is intimating, but for you; comforting.

RAY PERSON-

THIS MAN. although a hick with a big mouth, he does know when to shut up and can read you’re emotions like the back of his hand.

He can just see the sadness swelling in your eyes and the way you pick at the foot at your plate and avoid all of needs for cuddles in bed. Heck, it’s making Ray sad.

So he does what he does best-not shutting up, well-about things he likes about you.

“Man! Look at my hot girlfriend/wife! There reading books by the liberal media, total smartie here! Oh! And they have a degree from-“

Ray will also beg for to your attention and follows you around like a puppy. Like you’ll be sitting on the couch and he’ll come rest his head on your lap. You ignore him, but he starts to twist and quote random movies so you finally give in.

Is Ray annoying? Yes. But did he make you smile? Also yes.

Also Ray is a cook, and knows all of your favorite meals. Of course, he sets the table, lights a few Mantown candles (yes there real google them), and comes to serve your meal with two plates.

“The most beautiful man/woman I have ever seen, the love of my life, the apple of my eye, the Avril to my Bizzy D-you’re hot pockets.”

It makes you laugh, which makes Ray happy. He feeds off of that attention. You sit in Ray’s lap, eating hot pockets, and watching The Best Damn Tour. You lean on Ray’s shoulder, and he leans right back.

POKE ESPERA-

Alexa play Whatta Man’ by Salt-N-Peppa BECAUSE! WHAT! A! MAN!

Poke is one tough mofo. He embodies the meme of “Good morning to my beautiful wife/husband and child everybody else get fucked”.

But like every baddie; baddie’s gotta have soft spots for there bitches. He has two; you and his daughter. And oh god he’s love the two of more then anything in the world.

Poke knows you and his daughter well enough. His daughter first notices that your not as enthusiastic and bubbly, and then she tells Poke. But Poke already knows because he’s observant and very in touch with his emotions.

So when he’s a work; he thinks and does a lot of self reflection. He wonders why you’re upset. Did he cause it? What can he do to make it better? He asks all the guys for advice, and even his own daughter.

An idea strikes! Poke’s got a lot of anger, so his therapist told him to express his emotions by journalling. But Poke learns that it helps him get everything out of system, so he’s a secret writer. Heck, he even likes poetry; and would kill anyone if they’d find out.

While off at work, small letters start to appear across you’re house. Some are long, some are short, but there sweet and make you’re day.

“I held the stars in my arms wen I held you”

“I can’t wait to kiss you.”

“Your eyes stole all of my words away”

And the covers of the notes are done by Poke’s daughter, covered in glitter and Lisa Frank stickers.

You confront Poke about this “mysterious pen pal” and Poke is like “I mean, your lips do sound tempting”

You know it’s Poke, and he knows it, but there’s something about the mystery that is very romantic.

WALT HASSER-

Here comes our favourie country pumpkin

Now let me say. This man LOVES you more then anything the world

Doesn’t wanna show you off (but he does)

So when you’re the slightest bit sad, Walt is even sadder then you are

Walt is someone that lives to receive attention, and also he’s someone that likes to give it. Especially to the love of his life!

Walt gives you things you actually need, and nothing that is materialistic. Growing up, his parents had a healthy relationship, and the apple clearly doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Waits on you hand and foot. A back massage? Done. A fuzzy blanket? Right on it! A specific burger from a joint that is thirty minutes away at three in the morning? Walt’s driving like a manic just for you. You have the man’s undivided attention.

“Walt?”

He stops whatever he’s doing and runs over, getting on his knees, “Yeah, what’s up baby?”

“Can you sing the song? Y’know, our song?”

Walt nods his head, now an eager puppy, and gets his gutair to play the song he wrote especially for you. And this is making me realize how painfully single I am oh my

RUDY REYES-

Rudy has an iv of respect woman/men juice. He always understands the assignment-and desires extra credit.

So whenever you’re down in the dumps, Rudy will drop everything and drag you into the car to go walk on his favorite trail. It’s ten miles long, but Rudy is a fitness freak.

First, you hate doing it. But the more you talk these long walks, the more you begin to enjoy it.

Sometimes there silence. Rudy won’t speak force you to talk. Talking is stressful, and Rudy will wait until you’re ready. The two of you holds hands, and Rudy has such a calming presence. It’s really hard to get angry at him.

You finally speak and tell Rudy you’re problems, and he listens and doesn’t interrupt. He’s got a hand on you’re lower back, or on your thigh. He’s basically you’re emotional support teddy bear and will always be a lending ear, or a total cuddle monster.

Rudy has the best advice as well. It’s always some yoga shit, but damn, those breathing exercises do actually help.

EVAN “Q-TIP” STAFFORD-

Oh Q-Tip. My feral goblin son😭

I love him, but sometimes-things can fly over his head.

But when you start to ignore him and hide away from him, he begins to notice. And he HATES IT.

Like Christianson will ask him if he’s okay and he’ll literally quote a 2pac song and be like,

“I would drop all my girls for you, Walk barefoot 'round the world for you, Fly around like the birds for you, Thats why I wrote these words for you..”

Lilley is like “Brah we gotta help a homie out”

So the three stooges create Lovegate. The mission? to make Q-Tip’s partner happier.

Q-Tip is very artistically inclined. So with Christenson’s editing skills and Lilley’s camera, Q-Tip writes you a song and does a whole music video.

The man rents out a movie theatre venue just to show you. Of course, you’re blown away. It’s horrible and you can taste the autotone, BUT IT’S THE EFFORT THAT COUNTS. and q-tip has that smile on. you know what i’m talking about!

Doc Bryan walks in on the two of you making out and is pissed since all he wanted to do was see the re-screening of Bridemaids but NO, Q-Tip just had to rent out a theatre to show his partner a music video about them and then make out.

He see’s Lilley, who’s recording and asks to interview what Doc’s opinion on the music video, and this is what he’s says.

“I think my ears bled, but thank fuck those two aren’t acting like emo’s.”

DOC BRYAN-

The gif has a purpose. Trust me. SPEAKING OF THE MAN OF THE HOUR

Bryan, like Poke, is a very observant guy. He’s an angry motherfucker, and even a little insensitive, but ever since dating you; he’s tried to change.

He hates the world. People are shitty, and it makes him feel shitty that you’re sad because when you feel shitty, he’s in a shitter mood then he’s usually in

Knowing that his words might sound a little harsh, Byran knows how to distract you. Without words. After all, he didn’t work out for nothing.

Long hugs are you’re thing. The two of you will run into eachother, find a private place, and he’ll just wrap his arms around you. His big arms are protective, and he’s warm, and you just sink into him.

Sometimes, you’ll fall asleep. Byran sometimes will fall asleep with you, other times he’ll gently lay you down and put a blanket with a gentle forehead kiss.

When you cry in his arms, he’ll wipe the tears away. He can feel them against his arm, and he doesn’t know what to do. Crying girls/guys are not his speciality.

But when you squeeze his arm back, to let you know what your there and that you love him, Byran will freeze. He has no idea what to next with words. He’ll put his hand over yours, and turns out; it works well.

After this is all over, he’ll check up on you and ask you simply if you’re okay. You respond with a smile. Byran isn’t one for smiles, but for you, he shows a subtle smile back. Just to let you know.

#carrie writes #carrie’s headcanons #generation kill #nate fick #brad colbert #ray person #poke espera #walt hassar #rudy reyes #evan stafford #doc bryan #generation kill x reader #generation kill headcanons #generation kill imagine #hbo war

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thegremlincrowsnest · 3 years

Text

Porn Idea #548

Aizawa/Hizashi/Reader

I’ll be posting this to AO3 after some final editing but I was too impatient to share it with you guys!

CW: Afab language, daddy is said, double penetration, anal, Cernunnos just being a really horny mofo You're a new art teacher, married to a fellow teacher, Shouta Aizawa, the history teacher. You started working with him a few months ago, part-time, after finishing some freelance gigs and wanting a change of pace for a while. It was nice working with your partner and teaching a new group of students to love the arts as you do. However, Shouta slowly gets jealous of how often you innocently flirt with the music teacher Hizashi Yamada and the gym teacher Toshinori Yagi. From there, that’s when he starts picking up some of his old gang behavior, wanting to claim you and make sure no one messes with what’s his. Hizashi definitely tests him by letting his hands linger on your back or shoulders when Shouta is watching. Hizashi was his old second in command from back in the day. He casually speaks in code to Shouta even when you're present. Whenever he was at your house, he lets his hands slide up your thigh or play with the elastic band of your short shorts. He would snap them, chuckling at your squeals and keeping eye contact with Shouta as he says, “Careful, my dear, don’t want to fuel the thoughts of wolves that hunger for you.” All you can do is blush and not fully understanding the weird vibe they’re giving off to each other but doesn’t question it.

After Hizashi makes that wolf comment what Shouta goes, “Well, I don’t think there are any wolves brave enough to bite what’s mine....” to try and push Hizashi to the edge. Of course, Hizashi rises to the challenge, pulling you back against him, his arms wrapping around you while he looks at your lover, saying, “And what if there was a wolf brave enough?” Shouta walks up, pressing close to your front as you Y/N.exe stopped working as you were sandwiched between two men who have some history. “W-would anyone like some lemonade? Hizashi let his hands trail down your sides, digging his fingers into the top of your thighs. “The only thing I’m thirsty is for you, darling,” Shouta growls at that and leans in to say, “Hizashi...if you wanted me to fuck you senseless again, you didn’t need to tease my partner like this,” to which Hizashi smirks and grabs your throat, tilting your head upwards, saying, “What if I want both?” Shouta chuckles, moving your head back and leaning in to kiss you softly, asking, “What do you think, my love?”

You’re in heaven blushing and letting them handle you like some prized possession. Hizashi just smiles and lets his hands slide back up over your breast. Chuckling at the small noises you make. “You picked a perfect one as always, Shouta.” Then finally, you snap out of it a little and weasels your way out with a chuckle. “L-let me get that lemonade for you boys”“Oh no, you don’t....don’t avoid my question, baby,” Shouta would say as he grabs your wrist to pull you back in. Pushing you to his chest and wrapping an arm around your waist to pin you against his throbbing cock. “I want to know what you think of Hizashi here...eating you out while I pound this ass...”

Hizashi moans at the suggestion, holding onto your hips and grinding his own dick against your ass. “Don’t tease me with a good time like that, baby...” Hizashi moans in your ear; you could only moan softly and lean into them. Your eyelids drooped, and you press your ass against Hizashi some more. “I-I’d like that a lot, Sir.... mmmm, I think Hizashi is quite handsome, and I-I wouldn’t mind him eating me out if you’d allow it.” The scent of their cologne mixed together made you dizzy. You had to press your thighs together to prevent any of your juices from dripping onto the carpet. The two boys share a look. It was only for a moment, but it’s almost as if they had a full conversation. Because before you could register what’s about to happen, Hizashi chuckles and turns you around, pinning you to the counter, standing in front of you while he leans down to grab the counter by your sides. “You think I’m handsome, baby? Even with your sexy husband around?” He teases, leaning in to kiss your neck. His fingers slipping down to play with the hem of your shorts. You squealed and ran your hands through his hair. “Ohh~ I mean, I’ve always thought you both were very sexy,” you say as you switched from looking at him to Shouta. you rubbed your thighs together and whimpered at the intensity of his gaze. “Fuck boys, if you’re just gonna tease me, I’ll just leave then~” Shouta grabs your neck tightly. Turning you to face him as Hizashi drops to his knees. “Do you really think you could leave right now, baby....” he stares into your eyes. “Your job is to feed the hungry men in this house. And you have two to satisfy,” he says as he leans in to kiss you, wanting to devour you now but knowing the best is yet to come.

Meanwhile, Hizashi chuckles while he pushes your thighs apart, enjoying the view. “How could you leave when you’re a mess like this?~” he teases as he runs a finger through your pretty wet lips “what do you want me to do about it?”You couldn’t help but squeal as you came. Squirting onto Hizashis face as your thighs quivered and your back arched, blushing furiously. “Oh god...I-I’m so sorry Hizashi...t-this has never happened before. I’m so embarrassed.” Your heart pounded as you looked up between Shouta and him, expecting a laugh or look of disgust. ”Well, that was a first. Fucking hot, that’s what it was,” They say to one another. With a primal growl, Hizashi roughly spreads your thighs open and dives in to devour you. His tongue teasing your entrance as he takes the time to also suck on your clit. Shouta gets stunned for a moment before giving a low chuckle, “who knew my darling love had more tricks up your sleeve?” He says all sweet as he then rips the front of your shorts open, “if you’re gonna act like a whore you should look like one.” You threw your head back and moaned loudly again. “Fuck yes, I’m a whore~ a cock drunk whore! Jesus that feels so good~” you tugged his hair gently as you looked to Shouta. “Please, sirs have your way with me...I’ve been dreaming of this for so long. “In that case....” Shouta pushes Hizashis’s face away from your cunt and lifts you up, to then roughly toss your ass up onto the kitchen table “in that case, well, eat you up till there’s nothing left.” Shouta spreads your legs open by kicking your feet apart, and after he lets his erection out, he slaps it onto your ass. “Beg bitch”. Meanwhile, Hizashi strips and moves to stand in front of your mouth. His dick sliding across your pouty lips. You squeal and push back to try and grind against his cock. “Fuck me, sir~ please fill me up and use me!” You licks against Hizashis’s cock gently before opening your mouth for him, looking up at him with a soft whine. Pushing back, almost sliding Shouta’s cock into you, but he groans softly as he pulls back. “God, I need you both inside me so bad~” You moan out. “What do you think, Hizashi?” Shouta teases, letting his cock rut gently against your lips, not giving you the friction you desire just yet. “Aren’t they beautiful?” He asks while his hand caresses your ass and slaps it occasionally. Enjoying the moans coming from your lips. “I agree with that,” Hizashi says as his breathing gets heavy, holding onto your chin and letting his thumb run across your bottom lip. His cock throbbing against your cheek. “But I think we both know how to make them look even prettier,” he taunts. Looking up to Shouta. In silent understanding, ignoring your begging, they both ram their cocks into you fully at the same time. Shouta grabs onto your hips and fucks you slowly, while Hizashi holds onto your head. You could only squeal as they began to use you; looking up at Hizashi, he swore your pupils turned to hearts as they fucked you. Drool and precum began to drip from your lips as you push back against Shouta, clenching around him and grinding against his hips. Slowly you move your hands onto Hizashis hips, gripping them as you helped him fuck your throat. You squealed and moaned helplessly, in pure bliss at the two men ravaging you like an animal. The men moan and grunt as they thrust into you. Shouta makes sure to slap your ass to keep you moaning underneath him. “You like that, huh you whore? Being treated like a cocksleeve just for us?” Hizashi moans at that even. His hands running down your chest to pull and pinch your nipples. “If you want more slut you’re gonna need to make us cum. That’s what you’re best at, isn’t it?” Hizashi says. You pull back and jerks Hizashis’s cock as you whimper. “Fuck, if you let me ride you both, I’ll be able to show you want I really can do~” clenching around Shouta, bouncing against him slowly. You look up at Hizashi with big eyes as you say. “Don’t you wanna fuck my ass Hizashi~” Hizashis knees buckle a bit at that suggestion. He looks from your messy face to Shouta’s with pleading eyes. Well, who is he to say no? He pulls out of your pussy and takes a step back. He twists you around to lay on your back and pushes your feet towards your head “hold onto your ankles, baby.” With a giddy smile, you do as your told, holding your ankles to your head. “I’m ready~” He smirks down at you as he slides his cock into your pussy, moaning appreciatively as he does so. And then he wraps his arms around you to lift you up, clutching you against him. Without missing a beat, Hizashi comes up behind you. Kissing the back of your neck and sliding a finger into your ass to get you ready for him. You let go of your legs, allowing them to hang off of his shoulders. Whimpering softly, you nuzzle into him as you feel Hizashis’s fingers. Desperately wanting to grind against those fingers and the cock deep inside you groaning in frustration. “More~ please more!” Hizashi smirks, bringing his hips to your ass, massaging your cheeks with his fingers. “What are we to do with such a naughty kitten like you?” He teases, slapping your ass roughly. “Already so full of cock but wanting more...” he pushes his tip against your tight entrance. Shouta tilts your chin up to kiss you, “I guess we need to punish them then by filling them up. You can’t leave the house if you’re full of cum.” He says. You could only whimper as you felt him press against your entrance “H-Hizashi, don’t be a tease anh!” You said as you tried to push back. Hearing Shouta say they’ll fill you up sent you into a spiral. Shivering and squirting on his cock you whimpered. “Yes! F-fill me up, please!~ I’ll be a good Kitten.” you babbled on as you felt your mind slipping. "Tsk tsk making such a mess..." Shouta says. "Looks like it’s time to plug them up~" Hizashi continues for him, thrusting his full length inside your ass. The two of them thrust at different times, constantly changing the pressure inside of you. They both lean into the sides of your head, Hizashi giving you praise while Shouta continues to degrade you. You couldn’t help the whimpers that escaped your lips as you were filled. Threading a hand through Hizashis hair, you leaned back. “So good~ you guys make me feel so good,” you moan softly. You can feel the beginnings of small bruises on your hips and thighs but accepted them fully. Your holes leak and throbbed around the two cocks inside of you. Then you had a wonderful idea “C-come on, Shouta~ Don’t want Hizashi to outdo you.” Hizashi chuckles at that. “Am I making you feel that good baby?” He says as he looks Shouta in the eyes. Continuing, he says, “Make you feel so good you wanna be bred on my cock? Make you full with my cum to have my babies?” This makes Shouta possessively growl and slap your ass “who are you to be making such claims bitch?” He then grabs onto your throat to slightly choking you. “you will cum on my dick, and you will enjoy it. Like the cock whore you are. Be bred.” You moan softly at the feeling of his hand. Then smirks when you say, “Make me~” you loved pushing his buttons and seeing how far you can take him. “Make me, or else I’ll ask Hizashi to hold me up while he fucks my ass in your face.” You clenched around their cocks as you felt Shouta growl and thrust faster. Hizashis hands move up to pinch and pull your nipples, reaching down to rub your clit as he keeps slowly fucking your ass. In return, he tightened his grip on your hips, his fingers pushing deep onto your muscles, forming bruises that will be visible all week long. He was going slow to be nice and match Hizashi in your ass, but if you wanted to be a brat like this, he’d treat you like the ragdoll you want to be. He growls and starts moving you on his cock and thrusting faster and deeper into you. “Looks like I need to remind you who’s in charge here, kitten....” he leans in and marks up your neck as he says, “If you behave and tighten up, maybe I’ll fill you up like you’ve wanted.” Your eyes crossed as you squealed, “yes, daddy~ fuck, please fill me up. I want your babies!” Your resolve faded as you felt his cock hit against your womb entrance. Hizashi chuckled and started speeding up as well, making your body shiver. “H-harder, please, daddy fucking put me in my place, please!” You say as your pussy tightens up around them both. You reach down to rub your clit as you watch his cock disappear inside of you. He grins and keeps this pace, making sure every thrust into your sloppy pussy hits you deep. “Look at this whore, playing with their clit while we fill them up, Hizashi....” he teases and smirks at the blonde “what do you suggest we do?” Hizashi also smirks and leans in to kiss your shoulder, picking up his pace to match Shouta’s. “I think we need to fill them up for days....that sound like a good idea?” He grins and keeps this pace, making sure every thrust into your sloppy pussy hits her deep. “Yes, yes, fill me up! Fuck I want your cum so fucking bad~” you lean back and pull Hizashis’s face close. Kissing him deeply as your other hand cups Shouta’s cheek. “I feel so good~ god, you’re both so fucking thick~,” you say as you feel them throb deep inside of you. It’s a nice sight, seeing the two of them kiss. Not that he’ll admit it for now. But he knows he’s getting there. He leans his head on her shoulder and focuses on how soft and wet and warm you are. God, he can get lost in you for hours. You’re gonna look so good full of his kids. Over and over. “God baby, I’m gonna fill you up...” he moans, shuddering as he thrusts fully into you and filling you up with his cum. You hold onto him tight as you feel him cum deep inside. You whimper softly and bite down on his shoulder as you cum as well. You feel Hizashi stop and look back, confused. “What’s wrong?” You ask cutely. He helps Shouta pull out before thrusting into your pussy cumming as well. He groans and rubs your clit softly, helping you through another orgasm. “Oh god~ I’m so full~ fuck daddy, it feels so good” Well shit...that was a surprise. Shouta thought, but you look so happy being full, so it’s okay for now. Carefully he and Hizashi get you to sit on the couch. More so, sitting on a combination of their laps. Their hands and kisses soft on your skin, helping to soothe you. “What a good kitten you are, baby...” Shouta praises you, “maybe we need to have guests over more often.”

#aizawa x reader #aizawa smut #present mic smut #present mic x reader #aizawa x reader x present mic #bnha smut #bnha x reader #Cernunnos Writings

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youllneverknowrac · 4 years

Text

Oscar Diaz-Summer Nights

Summer days just sitting around but when the sun goes down, I’ll be ready to party

It was officially the first day of Summer so everybody in the neighborhood was in high spirits, and like usual there was going to be party. Only this time it was being held at one of the other Santo members house since he wanted to plan a big bash for his little sister’s high school graduation celebration. That meant all sorts of different people were going to be in attendance of all backgrounds and ages. As you play out tonight in your mind you end up getting distracted when your phone goes off so you set your lipgloss down and rush over to it.

Call the ruca on the phone, let her know I'm home alone, Its Seven thirty and the sun is going down, Its a Summer night and the fun is going down, I picked her up and she looks all dolled up, Sitting passenger in my rag impala , I let her know she looks beautiful to me, The world is an ugly place but she's such a site to see

“What’s up papi?” You ask into the receiver after you answer, glancing at your alarm clock to check the time since Oscar said he wouldn’t be picking you up until later since he had to go take care of something.

“Ima pull up on you so we can dip, I finished a bit earlier than expected so I figured we could kick it for a bit before the party started.” You hear him say, his voice sort of muffled by the sound of air coming in through his rolled down windows along with the music he was playing.

“Are you asking or telling me?” You smirk as you put him on speaker so you can hurry up and pull on your outfit.

“Telling, so hurry up and pull those jeans over that ass of yours.” He reply’s smugly,”Wear those hoops I bought you too, I like the way they sparkle and shit.”

“You’re lucky I love you.” You laugh as you shake your head and jump into your too tight jeans. Your legs poking out from the ripped areas,”The only man I will ever let boss me around.” You joke

“Only women I let boss me around.”

“Don’t you forget it.” You retort as your search for the specific hoops among all your other ones, letting Oscar talk about who knows what while you finish getting ready,”Damn do you gotta pull up banging like that?” You ask him a few minutes later as you grab your phone, Oscar’s famous red car now parked in your driveway,”I can hear you all the way from Beverly Hills.”

“Fuck Beverly Hills, your ass would never be caught there. Besides you’re the one that bought me the speakers.” He reminds as you make your way out after quickly saying by to your grandparents who sat outside in the garden.

“Yeah I’m starting to regret that.” You tell him when you walkout, hanging up and sliding your phone into your back pocket,”What are you staring at fool?” You tease as you open the door and climb in, thankful he cut off the radio so you could actually talk to him.

“You.” He shrugs and leans over to peck you,”You look beautiful...sexy.” He mumbles against your lips,”Cherry?” He asks when he pulls away, a slight shine on his own lips now.

“Strawberry.” You correct him as you buckle up, your smile on full display,”You like?”

“I like everything about you chiquita.” He breaths, his head still in your personal space until your hand pushes him away playfully.

“Back up before you get smacked up.” You warn him, Oscar laughing at your remark.

“That’s my line, you copying my style?”

“It’s not copying when I do it better papi.”

“Better?” He scoffs as he begins to back out of the drive way.

“I didn’t stutter.” You tell him as you pull down the mirror so you could apply more of the gloss,”Don’t be a hater.”

“Hater my ass.”

“Hm.” You hum as you gloss up your lips carefully,”We going to your house?”

“Obviamente, why? You want to go somewhere else or que?”

“I want something from the refresqueria...I don’t know what exactly but something.”

“Yo your ass always wants to eat something.” He chuckles,”What do you want this time? Hot Cheetos, elote, tacos, or a bu...”

“Aye, if you keep it up I’ll make you buy it all.” You cut him off

“I let you get away with too much, I need to quit spoiling you. You’re attitude gets worse everyday.”

“You want me to get out of the car?” You ask smugly as you reach over and take his free hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel,”I’ll walk home and leave you all alone.”

“You ain’t walking nowhere.” He laughs and brings your intertwined hands up to place a reassuring kiss to the back of yours. You don’t respond, your smile growing wider as you look out the window.

The temp was eighty and I'm cruising with my lady, Playing some Ralphie Pagan, "Oh Baby Baby", I see my home boys and they're cruising in their rides, With their ladies sitting by their side, People think we look crazy, but I think we look classy, But then again that's only if you ask me

“Looks like the homies had the same idea.” Oscar says after he parks in the crowded lot.

“Oh the girls are here.” You say happily as you take notice of the royal blue low rider parked next to a similar car in black,”Let’s go say hi.” You exclaim, not giving Oscar time to respond as you jump out and walk over to your group of friends,”What’s up bitches?!” You squeal

“Hey girl!” The two girls say mutually as they each pull away from their respective boy friend to come greet you.

“What’s up.” Sad Eyez smiles while Joker gives you a head nod, before the three guys engage in a conversation.

“Did you guys order already?” You ask as you take notice of all the people waiting for their food.

“Yes and the line took forever. If you want you can have some of our shit, you already know Fransico’s scrawny ass is only going to take two bites before he’s full.” Sad Eyez girl, Gia, informs you.

“Yeah girl, you can have some of our shit too.” Lena shrugs,”It should be here any second, besides all these people staring at us got me feeling some type of way.”

“What who’s staring?!” Gia says loudly as she looks around, her red dyed hair flapping about,”I’ll kindly tell them to fuck off.”

“Someone staring at y’all?” Oscar asks, him and the other guys coming closer protectively.

“More or less.” Lena reply’s as she grabs a hold of Joker’s arm,”It’s fine, how could they not stare when we rolled up in the sexiest cars.”

“Period.” You laugh and lean against your boyfriend,”Sexiest cars and the baddest bitches.”

“Man, they just hating cause we some classy mofos.” Oscar laughs loudly,”However, if anyone has a problem they can address it with me.” He adds loudly causing everybody in ear shot to look away rather quickly.

“Shhh, before you get us kicked off the property.” You giggle and stand up on your tip toes to give him a small kiss,”The foods almost here and I’ll be pissed if I can’t eat any.” You say before letting him return to his previous conversation so you can do the same. After another few minutes a worker comes out and finds you guys with ease and hands out the items.

“Thank you guys so much, I’ll see y’all tonight right?” You ask after taking a bite of your chile covered fruit minutes later.

“Most definitely! See you in a bit!” Gia calls as she hangs out the window as Sad Eyez drives off. Jokers car following them with a honk.

“Let’s go bebe.” Oscar says and ushers you toward the car, opening the passenger side door before heading around to his side. Wanting to get in some alone time before tonight started and he would have to share your attention.

My homeboys throwing a back yard boogie, So every body gets together to unwind, relax and have a fun time, The DJ is spinning so I grab the mic and be like, Ain't nothing like them summer nights, The party is packed with beautiful woman and, A gang of the homies that want to get with them, And they'll say anything just to hit em, And its usually a nice summer night when they did em, Idon't know, it must be something in the air, Can't help but have a good time, because the feeling is there, To some people the feeling is rare, They're at the pad saying God dam I wish I was there, To have a drink, have a tok and hook up, With some one fine but the kind that looks up, Got to keep some pisto in the cup, Party until the sun comes up or we give up

After spending time with Oscar at his place for a while you guys ended up going to the party that was now in full effect when you pulled up. You head to the backyard hand in hand before finding a few other Santo members and taking a seat with them, well you sat on Oscar’s lap of course as you looked out at the swarm of people. You sigh contently as you lean back against him, listening to his conversation and laughing when he did since you could feel the rumble of his chest.

“Look at Cesar.” You whisper in his ear as you watch the younger Diaz flirt with some girl.

“He ain’t got no game.” Oscar says teasingly,”See.” He says moments later when the girl walks away rather quickly.

“Stop, he’s trying.” You laugh and shake your head when he goes straight to another girl.

“He’s failing.”

“Didn’t it take you three times before I finally said yes to go on a date with you.”

“Aye that was a long time ago and we’re talking about him, not us.” Oscar smacks his lips as his fingers dig into your side.

“I’m just saying.” You giggle before turning your head so you can kiss his cheek,”You want a drink?”

“Corona please.”

“I’ll be right back.” You nod and get up so you can go in search of a cooler. You retrieve two cold bottles before making your way back and sitting back down on a awaiting Oscar.

“Thank you Chiquita.”

“You’re welcome.” You tell him before taking a sip of your drink. The rest of the night being spent socializing or forcing Oscar to occasionally dance with you.

As I close out my summer night and say good night, Its time to put the top up and park it, drop it, Unplug the ground, roll up the windows and lock it, Walk into the pad and fall into bed, As she lays on my chest to rest her sleepy head

“Tonight was fun.” You tell Oscar sleepily as you lay on top of him, now dressed in one of his t-shirts.

“It was good seeing the whole neighborhood click up like that.”

“Yeah...Summers the best.” You hiccup,”I might still be a little tipsy. Just a little.”

“I could have told you that after your fourth beer mami. I thought I was going to have to carry you out of the party.” He laughs as he lazily rubs your back.

“You should have carried me anyway, queens shouldn’t have to walk.” You laugh softly,”Am I a queen?”

“Mi reina.” Oscar reassures you with a kiss to the top of your head

“Good answer.” You yawn as your eyes flutter close,”I love summer.”

“Me too, I love summer nights with you the most though.” He admits,”Go to sleep mami, we’ll continue the party tomorrow.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He nods, holding your body to his until you’ve fallen into a deep slumber and he’s done the same. The first night of Summer taking a toll on the both of you, luckily you guys still had three more months left of it to enjoy.

#spooky diaz #spooky x reader #netflix on my block #on my block imagines #netflix #freeridge #omb #on my block season 3 #one shot #omb season 3 #oscar diaz x reader #oscar diaz

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smutsonian · 4 years

Note

Can we get some dark, kinky Clint Barton up in here? There’s not nearly enough of him on tumblr and I think he could be one kinky, dark mofo

babysitting

Warning/s: DARK CLINT, age gap, SMUT, non/dub-con, drugging, creepy Clint, breeding kink, nOT pRooFrEad, PLEASE BE WARNED

A/N: This is my first time writing for Clint so expect the disappointment ;) I also don’t know how to write kinky shit so expect another disappointment! ;)) Hopefully, this ‘drabble’ suffices. It got longer than expected… again. I suck at writing SHORT drabbles. HAH!

masterlist

Requests are open!

——————

The Hawkeye has a lot of secrets. Like… a lot. He’s also really good at keeping his secrets away from the limelight.

The spy is fun to be around when you’re considered as his friend. His jokes are distinctively witty and his remarks are humorous. His persona around his friends and his teammates are the complete opposite when he’s with you.

His demeanor is nothing but gloaming. His protectiveness and possessiveness are to an extent which terrifies you. You envied those who he treats differently but he would always tell you that you’re special and that you deserve the special treatment.

He wasn’t always like that but nonetheless, he was creepy. Even from the start. His creepiness just got progressively worse when he and his wife got a divorce. You were their babysitter and whenever you would babysit their kids, he would always watch you like a hawk. Ironic.

He would shamelessly scan your body and it would always make you feel uneasy. Yes, he might be attractive. Aging has been treating him well, you have to admit. His training also did his body wondrous deeds. He’s an attractive man but the way that his aura changes instantly whenever he finds his way alone in a room with you stray you away from his good looks.

After the divorce, you were still called in to babysit. It’s not the same as before because Laura, his wife, is no longer in the picture. The kids would be sent to her house at scheduled dates and vice versa for Clint. Weirdly enough, Clint would still call you in even though he would be at home the whole day for the kids. He would say that he needed help with taming the little rascals and would compliment you at how good you are with your job. That’s another thing that you’ve noticed. He’s become more outspoken to you. He never really talked to you before. Mostly, it was Laura who speaks to you.

Little did you know, that was the start of something much worse.

You should’ve seen it coming. You should’ve known that he would manage to trick you. And that’s what he did. You’re currently in his abode, sitting on the sofa and wondering why the house lacks the sound of children. It’s quiet. Too quiet.

He’s in the kitchen making you a cup of hot chocolate that he insisted upon your arrival. Your tense posture faltered when your phone dinged as a message popped up on your lock screen.

‘You coming later?’

Clint walked up to you with a cup of beverage and smiled at you as you took a sip of the sweet liquid. His attention strayed from your face to your phone when it dinged once again.

‘Come on, baby. It wouldn’t be fun without you ;)’

Clint cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck as he gave you a cheeky smile. “I apologize for forgetting. I should’ve texted you that the kids will be at Laura’s today.”

“Oh…” you turned to him with a surprised look but offered him a forced smile. “It’s no problem.” Another ding sounded.

‘Come on babyy’

“I could just leave” you made a move to stand up but Clint moved towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder to keep you seated.

“I’m getting too old to remember things…” he chuckled to himself, giving you a look that made you gulp in panic. His hand traveled from your shoulder to your cheek, rubbing his thumb softly on it.

“Clint, wh-what are you-” you got cut off by him forcefully shoving his lips onto yours and invading your mouth with his tongue. You sat frozen in surprise and it took you a few seconds to comprehend what was happening but when you did, you pushed on his chest as hard as you could but it was to no avail. Your phone gave out another ding. And then another. And another…

‘Are you ignoring me?’

‘You playing hard to get, baby?’

‘Come on. Don’t be such a bitch’

Clint roughly pulled away from you and snatched the phone from the table, ignoring your attempts at getting it back and scrolling through the text messages. You regretted not putting a lock on it now.

Clint’s face sported a scowl as the phone lit up half of his face. He turned to look at you and gave you a false smile.

“Is this your boyfriend?” He threw the phone away, crawling towards you with a sinister look on his face. You felt your stomach churn in anticipation and it frightened you. The way that your body is reacting to this man disturbed you.

You let out a shaky breath as he positioned himself on top of you, leaning his body closer to yours but never giving your body the satisfaction of his touch.

“You’re starting to feel it now, huh?”

He ignored the questioning look you gave him along with your terrified expression. Sweat started to dribble down your face and you just now noticed how your breathing started to speed up.

He hiked up the skirt you were wearing, revealing your damped panties to himself like a treasure box.

“How’re you feeling, sweetheart? Wanna drink some more of that hot chocolate?”

Then it hit you. The thought and whatever the fuck he put in that hot chocolate.

“Put something there so you can be more compliant. I need to be able to control something, sweetheart. It just so happen to be you.” he smirks at you when you tried to grind your lower half against his with a desperate whine.

He chided you as he clicked his tongue. “Not yet, sweetheart.” he leaned down, barely brushing his lips against yours as you whined. It’s almost painful to have him so close yet so far. You find yourself missing his rough kiss from earlier.

“First things first. Who’s texting you? Is he your boyfriend?” he continued to tease you by getting too close but never enough to be touching. You almost moaned when he touched your shoulder to push you down the sofa, away from his body.

“You have to answer me first, sweetheart. Can you do that?”

Clint smiled. Like a real genuine smile when he saw you finally submitting to him with a determined nod.

“Th-That’s Mike texting. He’s not my boyfriend. He’s just a guy who keeps asking me out…” you breathed a shaky breath as he grinds his hips down your panties for each question you just answered.

“That’s it, sweetheart. You’re doing good…” you couldn’t help but feel proud that you were able to please him just by answering his questions. All the thoughts about him being creepy left your mind. He let out a melodic moan when he grinds his crotch against yours once again, earning a whimper from your desperate state of mind.

“You want to be a good girl for me, sweetheart?” Clint didn’t spare another second once you gave him a nod. With skillful movements, he managed to position your body where your legs are hanging off the back of the sofa and your head just on the edge of the seat, your vision turning upside down.

“Open wide, sweetheart.” he cooed and immediately snatched his cock out of his leather pants and shoving it on your mouth. You gagged as he pushed it deeper down your throat. The sight of his cock bulging through your neck made him groan and rub himself through your neck with his thumb. Your gagging only added to his pleasure as he felt the vibration around his cock.

You felt his cock twitch inside your mouth and you expected him to cum down your throat but it never happened because he pulled out before he could even cum. You felt disappointed at yourself for missing the feeling of his cock down your throat.

“As much as I love your mouth around my cock, I have to feel your pretty cunt around it.” He grabbed your upper body with less struggle and laid your back down the sofa once again, spreading your legs apart with his arms. He tore your panties apart and pocketed it. His eyes gleamed when he studied your womanhood.

He towered over you and lined his cock against your slit, sliding it up and down in a teasing manner. You whined and bucked your hips up to satisfy yourself but he wasn’t having any of that. He chuckled as you let out a cry when he pulled his cock away from you, shaking his head in a condescending way.

“Please” you whined once more.

He reached a hand towards your face, brushing away stray hairs as softly as he can with his calloused palm. “What do you want, sweetheart? Tell me.” He looked at you tauntingly. He teased your entrance once more when you refused to answer him.

“I-I want you inside of me, please!” you cried out in desperation and disappointment for yourself. You’ve never been so needy. The hell with that hot chocolate.

Clint seemingly over with waiting, didn’t miss a beat as he forced his cock into your slit, groaning when your walls made it hard for him to enter you. Your back rubbed against the sofa as he slammed into you in a rhythmic pattern. You learned that Clint is very vocal during sex and it only spurred your appetite. Hearing his melodious moans made you wetter as he rammed into you like an animal.

“Mmm, sweetheart. Fuck!” you watched him tilt his head back, his face holding a pleasured frown as he jerked his hips against yours. His thrusts started to become sloppy as you felt his cock twitch against your walls.

He stops for a second to put your right leg on his left shoulder, getting more access and stroking much deeper into you which sparks something inside of you. He feels your walls clench around him, alerting him that you’re close to coming as he is. He doubled his efforts, thrusting slowly yet deeply into your cunt. His hand fount its way to your clit, rubbing furiously on it until you’re a crying mess under him.

“You have to wait for me, sweetheart.” he moans as he speeds up, the sound of skin slapping each other fills the living room.

“Okay sweetheart. Come for me, baby.” he groans loudly as your walls clench tightly around him, crying out cutely as your body spasms under him.

“Fuck” he groans loudly as he buries himself inside of you, cock twitching as it spills cum inside of you. He stays inside you as he held you in his arms, breathing heavily as he buries his head on the side of your neck, whispering sweet nothings.

After a while, he still hasn’t pulled out from you but he repositioned the both of you so your back was against his chest now as he stroked your hair softly. He leaned down to kiss the side of your head as he whispered,

“You take such good care of the kids and myself, sweetheart. Let me take care of you this time around.”

The Hawkeye has a lot of secrets. Like… a lot. He’s also really good at keeping his secrets away from the limelight.

It just so happens that you are one of his secrets.

——————

Feedback makes my heart swell so please leave some? 🥺✌🏼

taglist

General: @readermia @unlikelygalaxygiver @xoxabs88xox

#dark clint #dark!clint #dark fic #clint barton x reader #dark clint x reader #dark clint barton x reader #dark clint imagine #dark clint barton imagine #clint barton imagine #dirt dark fic #lmao at the tags #dark drabble #drabble #the hawkeye imagine #the hawkeye x reader #ronin x reader

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vagrantblvrd · 4 years

Text

I’m sure it’s been done a bajillion times by now?

But that hitmens AU in which Gavin and Ryan work for different agencies, and of course their paths cross all the time.

That time in Paris where Ryan had to walk the catwalk as a model to get close to his target. (Unorthodox, but it worked, okay.)

Gavin was there too, either posing as a bartender or photographer and you just know there was a moment in which their eyes met, because of course they did.

Gavin serving drinks and being flashy about it, and Ryan needing to blend in at the bar while his target mingles with the crowd. Gavin zeroing in on Ryan because something strange about him, you know? (Not soft like the social elite and whatnot around them, pings Gavin’s potential threat radar hard and just. Best to keep an eye on him? And if flirting is needed to keep up the charade, so be it.)

Or Ryan on the catwalk and there’s that one photographer that wasn’t there when he first walked onto the catwalk, but when he does his turn to head backstage there he is tucked a little deeper into the shadows then the other photographers.

Odd, but he doesn’t think much of it until he’s backstage and the screaming starts? And now he has to hustle if he wants to get his target. Which he does, but it’s a close thing, because Drama. And when he brings it up with the agency all security footage the photographer should have been in is either corrupted or simply missing. HMMM.

Other cities and other targets - awfully convenient how they’re never after the same targets, so no unnecessary conflict of interest there, thank goodness.

Eventually they get to the point where it’s a game for them, all friendly rivalry stuff, you know? Who an get to their target first and go unnoticed.

Or who can manage to find the most unlikely of disguises and such.

(Those times they deliberately pick a disguise to help the other one out, and little *wink* as they let them into select VIPs only areas or pass them a key card or vital bit of whatever to reach their target and their handlers/agencies are just like *facepalm* in the background once they run into each other on a mission because cue the awkward flirting/Pining? Like seriously idiots, just bone already, no one wants to see you drag this out any longer it’s too painful to watch.)

And then!

The mission where they do have the same target, because some baddie out there has some Evil Scheme(TM) to expose/ruin their agencies and then Take Over The World(TM) and they’re the only ones who can stop said baddie?

And then two ridiculously skilled hitmens team up to stop the baddie and it’s just. Utter ridiculousness and terrible flirting and probably jumping into a large body of water to escape dying horribly and someone offering the other their jacket to keep warm while they trudge their way towards civilization and a car they can steal.

(Bonus points if they both went into the water and the whole keeping warm thing is a moot point, but it’s totally the gesture that counts and just. Yes.)

Also high speed chases and shooty-shoots with the baddie’s flunkies.

Some cheap motel somewhere with one bed - there’s a convention or something in town and it was the last available room. Instead of one of them taking the bed and the other sleeping on the floor they settle for sharing the bed - after a bit of back and forth, of course, because gentlemen or whatever. Then the bit where they’re hyper aware of the person in the bed next to them and all that.

Ryan puts off heat like a mofo and Gavin runs cold and it’s after the dunk in the water so body warmth! Which is how they wake up the next day with Gavin snuggled into Ryan and Ryan’s arms - naturally - around him and oh, no, because it’s actually really fucking nice. This whole bit about how lonely their lives are what with the constant traveling and murderizing other people thing?

And, like. Sure they’ve got friends at the agency and such, but they both go home to empty apartments. (Well. Gavin’s got his cats and Ryan’s got his strays and just. Yes.)

Akwardness all over the place, but first maybe there’s that moment where fuzzy from sleep and safe and warm and a kiss happens. Clumsy kind of thing because mostly asleep but the most natural thing in the world and it’s super nice until it registers in the kiss-er’s mind that the kiss-ee is stiff and awkward and oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit, they don fucked up.

Super awkward apologies and all then back to business and no more said about the sleepy morning kiss because they have a baddie to stop!!1!

Some big, stupidly dramatic final battle/whatever with the baddie in which close calls and flesh wounds happen.

Gavin helping Ryan to his feet and this weirdly wistful touch to his smile as he does because this is pretty much it for their team-up, isn’t it? Going to go back to their agencies after this and hope they don’t run up against one another going for the same target again because it might not go so well (relatively?) the next time.

And their handlers/agency are like jfc, because these two idiots?

But also, you know, the two of them worked extremely well together and realize if the agencies actually worked together, pooled their resources and the whatnot they’d be even more effective?

Something about working towards the same goals and it’d be smarter, more efficient if the agencies merged, wouldn’t it? Less chance of botching one another’s missions/agendas and other nonsense.

AND THEN.

Gavin and Ryan showing up to a briefing and being :O at seeing one another because as far as they knew their agencies had relocated their HQ to a new building - were on leave or vacation or whatever when the move happened - and that’s when their handlers/bosses let them in on the whole merged agencies thing and that they’ll be working together from now on.

And also, please to take a look at the fraternization rules because they’d hate for Gavin and Ryan using them as an excuse not to to do something about all the Pining they’ve been doing for years at that point.

Seriously, it’s just fucking sad.

And then, you know, smooches are had, because of course they are.

Also, also, the hitmens AU where Ryan is actually a model using that as cover for his hitmens shenanigans. Gavin poses as a photographer and Ryan knows it’s BS because he knows all the photographers from whatever publication Gavin claims to be from. And then the whole paths crossing and eventual smooching happens, because yes.)

#ragehappy #freewood #hitmens au #technically not a fic #vagrant fic #¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

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elysianinsignia · 3 years

Text

DIARY ENTRY

by: Maria Sophia Angela Verona

(June 20, 2021)

Dear Diary,

I am happy to announce that by Monday, it will be our last week of school! Our mental health week seemed to pass by in a breeze since I felt well rested. Ever since I got Eula (my first 5-star character in Genshin Impact) I started grinding in the game to get her powered up in order for her to deal great damage y’know? I’ve already listed what I should do to gain those resins and craft condensed resins to get more rewards in the domains but you wouldn’t get it either way. Anyway, I’ll update you tomorrow since I haven’t progressed that much in the game.

(June 21, 2021)

Dear Diary,

Whether it may be proper or not, I mayhap need to ignore you for the past few days because I have such things to contemplate about such as procrastinating lol. Our teacher gave us activities to do and I’ll do them when I’m in the mood. I guess that’s how I work, when I feel like it. I guess I still have a long way to go to discipline myself but meh. Whenever I feel like doing it, I pass high quality work. I would rather work on a mountain and give it quality work than do it day by day and give crappy outcomes. No worries, I can handle it – I always did. I may lack confidence in my body but my confidence about my own craft and my capabilities are the chef's kiss as there’s always room for me to grow and improve.

(June 22, 2021)

Dear Diary,

All that I can say is wHat the aBsoLuTe crAp is going on? It is supposed to be the last week. Why is it a hellhole all of a sudden? I haven’t even finished my assignment in PE nor did my graduation pictorial. What’s worse, I still haven’t passed my papers for my confirmation in Benilde. What if I don’t pass on time? It’s one of the most decent schools with my course that’s kinda rare as of now, if I don’t pass, it’ll give me a hard time. AAAAAAAA

(June 23, 2021)

Dear Diary,

So, I told my mom about my dilemma as more activities start piling up. Good thing I already sent my documents via LBC, let’s hope and pray that it’ll arrive in Manila before the 30th of June. Other than that, I also did my grad pictorial… I guess? There was a power outage when we arrived at the studio so we did a photoshoot at home so the makeup won’t go to waste. I kinda feel bad about this day. The expenses are high and I don’t like spending money with such haste. Imma go do my requirements now, I’ll even go to RB’s house tomorrow to do our collage activity.

(June 24, 2021)

Dear Diary,

My mom told me to drive back to the studio and get myself a graduation pic… a decent one this time and I did. I drove there then drove back home in time to continue my schedule with RB which was also great since the sight of doggo sophie and finishing an activity is refreshing to my mental state. Speaking of mental state, I kinda lashed out again. I’ll go back to my usual rant on a piece of paper and burn it so my negative energy and emotions will evaporate into thin air. I don’t know about you but it helps me a lot. Sometimes, I keep it in my notes so I’ll have something to laugh at the next day. A bad moment doesn’t mean a bad day and a bad day doesn’t mean a bad life.

(June 25, 2021)

Dear Diary,

This is officially the day that I lost track of my workout routine last week. Gosh if it weren’t for these problems – forget it, blaming others is not what I taught myself. It is most definitely my fault for cutting off my own process. You know what else is disappointing? I played Genshin the whole day instead of finishing my remaining tasks. It’s understandable tho, video gaming is one of my many coping mechanisms with stress yet here I am, giving myself more stress instead of doing the activities in daytime. Happily, I did finish my activities at night and with that, I settled to finish the final two activities on Saturday which is tomorrow. G’night. I’m hella tired.

(June 26, 2021)

Dear Diary,

My god, finally, I finished them all and I passed before the deadline! What’s even better is that I tracked my documents in the LBC tracking web and it already arrived in Manila yesterday, another great news in this day, right? Speaking of, I’m now in my free time and free time means lots of contemplating about life. It sucks that I have to distract myself in order to silence my thoughts. In this pandemic, costs increase and our bills stake higher as I keep thinking about if I should be in an expensive private school or not in order to help my mom but no, she’s positive about it and with that, it’s time to write down my concrete plans for the future so I’ll spoil my mom while she’s still has time. Brb or not, I’ll be busy either writing or gaming the whole day.

Your owner, duh,

That one tall mofo

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bittysvalentines · 4 years

Text

la dolce far niente

To: @insertatitlehere

From: @wrathofthestag

For @insertatitlehere who wanted some family drama, pets, some introspective Jack, or social media. How about all of them? :) I hope you like it. From @wrathofthestag

Fic Summary: With Bitty out of town for a few days, can Jack learn to unwind and enjoy the sweetness of doing nothing?

Rating: General Audience.

It had come as a surprise. Just as Jack and Bitty had settled in for an evening of Netflix and Chinese takeout to enjoy the last sleepy summer days before Jack’s preseason the call came in.

“He did what?” Bitty sat upright on the couch, practically knocking over the bowl of pepper steak on his lap. “Oh no!”

Jack looked at Bitty, who in turn, stroked Jack’s arm and shook his head, as their husky, Netty, nervously paced around the room.

“Coach broke his leg, he’s okay,” Bitty quickly whispered then returned to the call at hand. “What did the doctor say?”

Bitty spoke to Suzanne, throwing out an occasional, “uh-huh,” and finally hung up with a big whooshing exhale.

“What happened, Bits? Is Coach okay?”

“That darn man! He insisted on cleaning the gutters himself—even after mama warned him not to—and he slipped as he was coming down the ladder. Bam! Broken fibula!”

And just like that, Bitty was off to Madison the next day to help Suzanne out and act as referee between her and his Aunt Marlene.

The night of Bitty’s departure, Jack sat in bed catching up on long-ignored emails. He waited for Bitty to text him, letting him know he arrived safely.

He saw an email from Ruben, the Falcs head of social media, and groaned. The subject was read Social Media Update. He’d been on Jack for a while to get his Instagram going and much to Jack’s chagrin, George agreed.

Ruben had called Jack into his office, a while back, and Jack already knew what was coming.

"George said photography’s your hobby,” Ruben said matter-of-factly. “So let's set you up with an Instagram."

"Bitty already did, I just haven't done anything with it," Jack said as he fidgeted with the Falcs paperweight on Ruben’s desk.

"Jack, the only thing worse than no social media is bad social media," Ruben sighed.

"You sound just like Bitty, " Jack said as he shrugged helplessly.

"Yeah, well, there’s a reason I like that boy." Ruben smiled. "Now let's get some content in there.”

Since that meeting, Jack uploaded exactly zero images. That was three weeks ago. He now took to ducking into empty rooms whenever he’d see Ruben walking his direction.

+++

Jack's alarm had gone off twenty minutes ago but he remembered the conversation he had with Bitty before he left...

“Why don’t you finally do all those little things you’ve been wanting to do, but never have time?”

“Little things?”

“Yeah, you know. Treat yourself."

Bitty leaned in and kissed Jack. A big lush kiss.

"You know how you’re always saying you want to sleep in more, try some new recipes, read a book on the balcony—those things. Do it. Do a little nothing."

Jack smiled thinking of the possibilities, and so he opted to stay in bed. He stretched lazily and watched the sunlight waft in. The light made curious shapes on the bedroom ceiling.

He turned to look at Bitty's side of the bed. Even though Jack had the entire bed to himself, he stayed on his side the entire night. He reached over and took Bitty's pillow and pressed it to his face. It no longer smelled of him, but Jack hugged it to his chest.

Just then Netty walked in, the look on her face clearly demanded breakfast. She gingerly strolled over and placed her chin on the empty side and looked up at Jack through lowered lashes.

"I know, girl. I miss him too."

Netty’s tail wagged.

Bitty was never really a pet person, and it had taken a whole month for him to really warm up to Netty, but when Jack went a long roadie, Netty stuck to Bitty’s side. By the time Jack returned, Bitty now called her Punkin, Cookie, Biscuit, and about a million other baking-related nicknames.

“Jack, she’s just so sweet—and has your eyes. Don’t you, my little praline?” Bitty had said as he scratched Netty’s chin.

Jack put the pillow down and sat up. Netty perked up.

"All right, let's get you some food and we'll go out for a run. Let me just see if I got any messages from Bits."

Jack reached for his phone and checked it. He already had a message waiting for him.

Bitty: Morning, handsome! Text me when you're up. Say hi to my little cupcake.

Jack: Netty said your pillow is VERY soft. We might have to make room for her every night.

Bitty: Jack Laurent, please tell me you did not let her sleep in our bed.

Jack: Maybe?

Bitty: Jack!

Jack: Haha. Just kidding. I might, though. The bed's too big without you.

Bitty: <3333

Jack smiled. He got out of bed and turned back to look at it. He was struck with the urge to take a photo of it, and then on a whim opened up Instagram. Scrolling through the filters, Jack felt overwhelmed by all the choices so he skipped that part and typed his caption.

The bed feels too big this morning.

He smiled and pressed "share."

"Shit. Was I supposed to do hash things?"

Netty looked up at him and Jack frowned. He edited the post and tagged Bitty.

"There."

Jack walked into the bathroom and saw his toothbrush sitting solitary. He felt an instant pang of longing as he missed having Bitty's toothbrush next to his. A toothbrush. Jack felt so silly. The chirping would have been endless if the guys—Samwell and Falcs alike—could see him now.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror and blushed. Jack decided in that instance that rather than feeling sorry for himself (Bitty had only been gone one day and Jack needed to pull himself together, tabarnak) he would document his day to show Bitty what he was doing. Also, he could finally get his Instagram going and get Ruben off his back, but mainly it was for Bitty… and a little teeny bit for Jack.

The caption read: Good oral hygiene is the cornerstone to any healthy smile. Which comes in handy when you have someone who makes you smile. @omgcheckplease

After he brushed his teeth, Jack walked to the kitchen and poured some kibble into Netty's bowl and she eagerly dug. Jack took out the coffee grounds from the cupboard and was about to get the pot going when he stopped and remembered the Chemex Nursey had gotten him for his birthday.

He had used it a few times, but mainly he’d stick to the coffee machine because Bitty would be so antsy for his morning cup. This time, however, Jack knew he could be a bit slower. He'd drink that “hipster bullshit”—Shitty's words, not Jack's—and really savor his morning cup.

He ground the beans and set the kettle to boil. He folded a coffee filter into a conical shape and wet it. After he had placed it on top of the Chemex, he put the grounds into the filter. Once the water was ready, Jack slowly poured it over the grounds and watched it drip, drip, drip away.

Jack's thoughts suddenly took him to his childhood. Every morning when maman was home, he'd make her coffee. He hadn't thought about it in years, but he would get up early (anxious insomnia kept slept at bay often for young Jack) and make her some coffee in the old silver Italian percolator that always sat on the stove.

"Jacky, you made me coffee!" Alicia would say every single time, sounding just as surprised and genuine as the time before.

He remembered how he watched her carefully a few times and then memorized all the steps so that one day, he would be able to do it on his own. And he did! Jack felt less alone somehow, brewing coffee for his mother as the rest of the world slept.

A great cup of coffee this morning, thanks to @derekmaliknurse’s birthday gift. @omgcheckplease should I pour you a cup? #chemex

Netty pressed her nose to Jack's calf.

"Hey, girl. As soon as I'm done with my coffee, I promise we’ll go."

Just then, his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Do my eyes fucking deceive me?"

"Hey, Shits."

"Don't 'Hey, Shits,' me."

"What do you mean?"

Jack could already hear the teasing mirth in Shitty's voice.

"Well, I'm sitting here in Haus 2.0, chowing on some cereal, having my morning caw-fee, scrolling through my ‘Gram when lo and behold, not one but two—two motherfucking super soft JLZ posts appear on my feed."

Jack grinned. "Oh?"

"I just about spat out my Oops Berries, brah."

"The front office asked me to step up my online presence, that's all."

"That's all? Lemme talk to Bitty."

"He's in Madison."

"Madison? Why?"

"Coach broke his leg and he's out there helping Suzanne."

Shitty was quiet, almost too quiet.

"Shits?" Jack asked, eyebrow quirked.

Shitty guffawed. "Jack, I love you but let's call a spade a spade."

"What do you mean?" He asked feeling transparent.

"Brah, you're not doing that for the front office. You're sending Bitty a visual love letter through Instagram. You’re wooing him with images, and I gotta tell you, I fucking dig it."

Jack grinned. "I don't know what you mean."

Shitty snorted. "Right. Yeah. Okay. Listen, who am I to stand in the way of your courtly lovin' ways? Personally, I dig it. You go with your sweet displays of man-on-man affection--"

"I'm hanging up now, " Jack laughed.

"All I'm saying is prepare to be either chirped within an inch of your life or fawned all over online."

"Bye, Shitty."

"Bye, you Ansel Adams mofo. You better dedicate a post to meeeee!"

Jack laughed. He shook his head as he picked up his mug and walked out to the balcony.

Taking a small sip, Jack relished the robust aroma of the coffee which had hints of chocolate and pepper. He hummed happily. The silky lush coffee slipped down this throat deliciously while he sat and watched the morning sky finish making her appearance.

+++

During Netty's walk (Jack chose to opt out of a run that morning), they stopped at the corner bakery he and Bitty like so much. The morning rush hour crowd had long died down. He got in line and watched as an employee brought out a tray of chocolate croissants, fragrant and fresh.

"Hey, Jack," Kamal, the owner, said as Jack reached the register.

"Hey."

"No Eric today?"

"No. He's visiting his parents for a few days. It’s just me and Netty."

They both turned toward the window and saw her patiently sitting by the lamppost.

"Cool. So, one low-fat bran muffin?" Kamal asked as he began to ring up the order.

Jack looked at the croissants.

"No, I'll have two chocolate croissants and a peanut butter dog biscuit."

"All right, all right.” Kamal smiled. “Treat yourself, man."

Jack smiled. "Yeah, something like that."

Jack untied Netty and they made their way to the dog park down the street. He sat on a bench as he watched her run to and fro, while he ate his pain au chocolat.

+++

“It is little wonder that for Jack the Ripper, the ‘Liston Knife’ was the weapon of choice during his killing spree in 1888.”

Jack closed his copy of The Butchering Art, as he finished reading the chapter to Netty, who seemed quite enthralled while she rested at the foot of the couch where he lounged. She then gave out a loud yawn.

“I was going to order some food, but how about I make us something instead?” Jack said to Netty.

Jack put down his book and polished off the last dregs of his tea as Netty lazily wagged her tail a few times. Jack quickly took Netty’s picture and posted it. The caption read: She’s practically a baked good now and has no clue. Right, @omgcheckplease? #husky

He sat up and stretched as he made his way to the kitchen. Jack scratched at his belly and opened the fridge. There was some deli meat, a couple tamales Bitty got from the local carniceria, half a cheesecake, packages of fresh meat, and various odds and ends. Jack knew there were some chicken tenders in the freezer, but he wanted something else… something different.

Jack: Debating what I should have for dinner.

Bitty: I’m surprised you’re not ordering from Star of Siam.

Jack: I was going to but changed my mind.

Bitty: What are you in the mood for?

Jack: Not sure. Something good.

Bitty: Aw! I wish I was there so I could feed you.

Jack: What would you do?

Bitty: Hmm… after giving you a bunch of kisses, maybe some spaghetti and meatballs? Put some meat on your bones. You’re wasting away, Mr. Zimmermann.

Jack: Haha. That does sound good, actually.

Bitty: You know MooMaw’s recipe box? The one on top of the fridge?

Jack: The yellow box?

Bitty: Yep! Pull her spaghetti and meatball recipe and make that.

Jack walked over to the fridge and opened the small metal box. He found recipe after recipe handwritten on index cards, some yellowed with age, some written in Bitty’s neat script.

Spaghetti and Meatballs - Made with Love by Irene

Jack read the recipe: ground beef, onion, eggs, milk, garlic, crushed tomatoes, parmesan cheese. Reading it alone made his stomach growl. He opened the fridge again and saw he had most of the ingredients on hand. He opened the cupboard and found the rest.

Jack: I’m making MooMaw’s spaghetti and meatballs. And I love you for having all the ingredients in the house.

Bitty: Be sure to send me a picture of how it turned out.

Jack: Have you been online at all today?

Bitty: No, I haven’t. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I’ve been running errands for Mama all over town. I’m getting ready to make a chicken casserole and then finally sit for a bit. Why?

Jack: No reason.

Bitty: Skype tonight?

Jack: 9?

Bitty: See you then, handsome. xoxo

Jack smiled as he gathered all the ingredients on the counter.

“Alexio, play Wilco by Wilco on Spotify.”

The smart speaker began to play as the music floated through the kitchen. Jack rarely listened to music in the house. He preferred to let Bitty play whatever he wanted and instead saved his tunes for the car.

“You and your old man music,” Bitty would sweetly chirp whenever they were in Jack’s car.

Bitty would lean over and raise the volume for Jack and begin singing to whatever song was playing—even if he didn’t know the words. Bitty would make them up as he went along. Each one smiling as the wind would blow through their hair. Bitty’s smile like sunshine while Jack would gently stroke his leg as they drove down the Providence streets.

“Alexio, call Papa.”

Jack began cutting onions for the sauce, referring back to MooMaw’s recipe, as his phone rang through the speaker.

“Allô?”

“Hey, Papa.”

“Jack, what a surprise. I wasn’t expecting your call until Sunday.”

“I know, but I wanted to call you now.”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I’m just making some dinner. Bitty is visiting his parents for a few days, and I just wanted to see how you and Maman were.”

«Missing your boy, are you?»

Jack smiled, even as his eyes stung from the onion. «Yeah, but I’m also missing you and Maman.»

«What are you making?»

«Spaghetti and meatballs. I’m using Bitty’s grandmother’s recipe.»

«Do you remember that summer, you must have been about four or so, and the only thing you wanted to eat was spaghetti.»

Jack paused. He placed the tip of the knife down onto the butcher block. «I don’t remember that.»

Bob laughed. «Really? I’m surprised. You were very adamant about it. Your poor mother was so upset that you wouldn’t eat anything else.»

Jack laughed. «Crisse, I think I do remember! Did she make it for breakfast?»

Jack recalled sitting at their kitchen table in Pittsburgh (He always liked that house because the backyard was enormous, they got a dog. Wayne, the golden retriever) and swinging his legs back and forth as Maman placed a bowl of pasta in front of him. The tang of the sauce, the gooey cheese being pulled from his lips. It all came back to him.

«How is Maman?» Jack asked warmly.

«She’s out with Louisa and Marie—they’re at a wine tasting or something. Who can keep track?» Bob said. Jack could hear the mirth in his voice.

«Well, I just wanted to say a quick hi, and I better get back to this otherwise I’ll never finish.»

«Sounds good, son. Send me a photo.»

«Will do. Talk to you on Sunday.»

«Love you, Jack.»

«Love you, too, Papa.»

Jack began to sing along to Wilco once again and he tossed the onion into the ground beef...

Jack sprinkled some parsley on the top of his dish and smiled.

“Not bad, eh, Netty?”

She looked up at him expectantly, hoping for a bite. He scratched the back of Netty’s ears, then scooped a little pasta and a couple of meatballs into her dog bowl.

He took out his phone and opened up Instagram again.

Homemade spaghetti and meatballs based on @omgcheckplease’s grandmother’s recipe. I hope I made y’all proud.

Jack shared the photo and instantly closed the app.

“Come on girl, let’s eat.”

Netty followed Jack to the dining room where he put both dishes on the table. Netty jumped up onto one of the chairs. Jack smiled contently as Netty began to dig in, and he soon followed.

+++

It was almost nine and Jack began to get ready for Bitty’s phone call. He had cleared the dishes and placed them all in the dishwasher. The leftovers were in the fridge and he remembered there was half a key lime cheesecake in the fridge. Jack took it out, cut a big slice and poured himself a glass of milk.

Jack took a photo of cheesecake and shared it on Instagram. The caption read: A day of doing sweet nothing ends with a sweet something. Wishing @omgcheckplease was here.

He stood at the kitchen counter and dug in; each bite delicious and sweet, reminding him of Bitty in every possible way.

He took another forkful of cheesecake and finally looked at his Instagram notifications. Jack did a triple take—he had so many likes and comments, he didn’t even know where to begin. So many were from strangers, too. It was a little overwhelming, so he decided to just look at comments from people he knew.

rubenalmanzoSM: Well done @jlzimmermann1

bsknightESQ: Brah! When you cooking for me? Did you ever know that you’re my hero??

derekmailknurse: I’ll get you some Stumptown beans. #chemexforlife

AliciaZimmermannProd: Look at you! On Instagram.

thelarissaduan: I told Shits I would not chirp. (Even though I really want to. Esp. with that bed pic, dude.) #softbro

omgcheckplease: I love this... and you.

Jack closed Instagram and yawned as he made his way to the bedroom. He pulled his laptop into bed and at nine opened up Skype and called Bitty.

Bitty’s face appeared, looking sleepy and tired, but smiling brightly the instant he saw Jack.

“Hey, there, handsome.”

Bitty was in his bedroom, in bed, with his back against the headboard.

“Bits,” Jack said.

He turned onto his side and rested his head on the crook of his arm. The laptop sat on the mattress next to him.

“You are the sweetest, most beautiful boy in the entire world.”

“Am I?”

“You are! I saw all of your Insta posts.”

Jack could feel himself blush.

“They weren’t too… boring?”

“No! I love them! They were lovely.”

“They were all for you,” Jack said softly.

“I know.”

Bitty reached out to touch the screen and Jack immediately did the same.

“How was your day?” he asked.

“I swear Jack, I thought I was going to have to break up some fisticuffs between Mama and Aunt Marlene.”

Jack chuckled. “That bad, eh?”

“The worst. I’m so glad I’m coming home the day after tomorrow. Poor Coach was basically like, ‘Save yourself, son!’”

“I miss your face,” Jack said simply and unguarded.

“Lord, I miss yours too. So much…”

The two looked at each other as if they had nowhere else in the world they’d rather be.

“So, how was your day? It looked pretty nice from what I saw,” Bitty said as he finally spoke.

“It was. I did a little nothing, all day.”

“And my little strudel?”

“She helped. Turns out she’s a pro at it.”

Bitty chuckled. “I love it. And how was it?”

Several years ago, Jack was in his therapist’s waiting room and was idly leafing through a copy of Psychology Today when he came across an article that made him pause. He began to read it, and at the time found it to be completely absurd. The article was about la dolce far niente, or the sweetness of doing nothing.

“Maybe you sit and read a book. Maybe you stare out the window or balcony and listen to your favorite musician,” the article read. “What can you do today to begin doing nothing?”

Jack frowned as he read, not understanding what was so great about remaining idle. It wasn’t until he began a relationship with Bitty that he truly understood what doing nothing could mean. They could do nothing while they snuggled in bed, they could do nothing while they sat on the couch as the rain poured outside as Bitty slowly ran his fingers through Jack’s hair.

Nothing with Bitty came to mean everything to Jack, and soon Jack began to appreciate doing nothing by himself. He understood that he didn’t have to be “on,” all the time. 95% was okay. La dolce far niente.

“Well?” Bitty asked again.

“It was sweet, Bits,” Jack replied with a smile. “Very sweet.”

#bittyjack #bv2020 #bitty's valentines #omgcp fandom #omg check please!

94 notes · View notes

seb-owns-these-tatas · 4 years

Text

What’s wrong? (Tj Hammond) (Pt.2)

PART 1

Characters: Bi!TJ Hammond x Asian!Female!Reader

Summary: You're an overseas worker and is in a relationship with TJ, but people can't seem to accept the differences between you both even by financially and background wise. (PART 2!) (Read part 1 before this? Heehee!)

Warning: VERY Detailed making out but no tickling the pickle. Heehee! Cuss words. ANGST, SAD AND A VERY FURIOUS TJ HAMMOND.

Words: 4700+ (IT'S LONG AF AGAIN. 😂)

A/N: I love Tj Hammond so much? You can certainly see how I love him by reading this? Lmao. GO BE CRAZY WITH YOUR FEEDBACKS, TATER TOTS! Typos and grammatical errors may be a lot because English has only been my second language. 😅 LOTS OF GIFS IN THIS ONE! (Btw, Political Animal's plot has kinda been blurry to me right now because I've watched it last year. So, there maybe some changes if you'll notice if I have some errors about the story. Heehee. 😅 Or maybe not? I have no idea.)

Disclaimer: GIF'S and pictures used are not mine. Only the edits are and the oneshot of course. 😉 Credits to the owners of the GIFS.

Dedicated: @fandomgalcentral

The whole boring but essentially interesting party was finally done. After all that argument you had with a journalist, and Tj being the knight and shining armor to scoot the woman off have ruined your bladder. With a lot of Martinis you took made you a little tipsy, making you all giggly and wanting to pee all the while.

In all honesty, you were kind of smashed. But, not smashed enough to fall on the floor with a pile of barf. No. You should keep your head straight before embarrassing yourself from the Hammond family.

"Teejaaaay," You clung your arm around his waist, hugging your boy friend as he was playing you a song on the piano in which you requested for him to do. He was too engrossed on playing, the relaxing melody making you smile. Your eyes turning into slits when you did and that adorable smile didn't go unnoticed by Tj as he was quick to take a peek as his fingers continued to play. "Teejaaaay,"

The guests weren't around anymore, they all went home and it was only you and him. Probably Nana in the dining room, drowning in more glasses of Margaritas since you could hear glasses clinging from there. You intently watched his fingers move in such a professional manner. He got it in him. Tj got the talent even though he hadn't got to play for months now. It was still in his blood.

"You're one sexy mofo," You suddenly uttered lowly, completely out of your wits, followed by a giggle that made him do a double take. Your eyes squinting on his face, closely staring at your gorgeous boy.

He ceased his fingers from playing. A snort wanting to erupt from your sudden confession. "Aren't you..." He paused, his shoulders shaking from trying not to laugh at you because he knew how emotional you can get when you're drunk. "Is my little noodle buzzed right now?" Tj peered down into your eyes, ever so lovingly. Never forgetting to give you that wild feeling inside your stomach, making the butterflies fly.

"No," Your nose was scrunched from his question. You? Drunk? Never. Was he hallucinating? When does Y/N get drunk? "You're hilarious, Honey." His eyebrow rose from your sudden sweet endearment acompanied with a dash of sweet talking.

Definitely buzzed. He thought inside his mind, clearly noticing the sudden urge of being confident with yourself since you weren't like that all the time. He knew you were conservative, quiet and only sweet to him not to others.

Tj held the end of the piano cover, gently dropping the cover before glancing at you who seemed to be completely confused. "What??" You voiced out your confusion. "That's it? But, I wanted moreee!" Your voice faded, turning softer and more quiet. "Because you seemed to be so happy playing the piano again," you whispered to yourself. "I loooove your smiles,"

To your surprise, Tj caught on to what you said because it wasn't quite quiet as you thought it would. "I've been happy because you've never left me when I needed someone to be with me the most," he stared into your eyes, a lot more tender than he used to. A small smile pulling the ends of his lips that made you coo like you were a crazy mother supporting her son.

"Aww," You actually muttered out loud, pouting up at him and he couldn't help but touch the end of your nose with his fingertip, making himself chuckle from how you scrunched up your nose once again. "Look at chu', Teejaaay. Confessing the love you have for a worthless overseas worker who happened to work in a bakery shop in the morning, and a waitress in a bar when she gets her nightshift--"

Tj held your lips with his finger, shutting you up before you could start your emotional rant that could make his feelings take a turn, the constant heavy feeling for how you were thinking about yourself. He didn't want to hear your extreme critizations about who you are. It pains to hear you say all those words when in fact, you never saw how perfect you are in his eyes.

"I know you're drunk, but don't start and upset me, Y/N." He whispered very lowly, a frown was now visible on his features which made you reciprocate his expression.

You sighed, keeping your eye contact despite of your 'slight' intoxication. Just staring right through him, appreciating the once broken boy in front of you, still in recovery. That soft look in your eyes made him glance at your crusty ass lips that made him break his frown.

Keep in mind to give Y/N those lip balms he uses whenever he goes out. He smiled, slowly caressing your shoulder, down to your arm which made you pout up at him. Resisting the way he looks at you were one of your weaknesses because you never did anyway.

"I swear, if you don't make out with me in front of this piano, I'm--"

His eyes glimmered then turned into small crescents as he chuckled, sounding so heartfelt. "Here I thought you were one conservative lady," He raised a brow, looking and sounding so sassy. Just like your sassy Tj that you love so much.

"Surprise! I'm actually not one right now," You chatted him up nonchalantly, clicking your head to the side with a naughty smirk. "If only you could draw me like one of your french girls while I lay naked on this piano but I'm no French and you're certainly no painter--"

Tj cackled out loud, alarming your intoxicated self as you jumped on the piano seat. "Only my Y/N could drop the weirdest hints to make me french kiss her on this piano,"

Your heart was frantically jumping out of your chest. Was it probably the effect of alcohol? Or maybe it was honestly Tj's damn effect on your whipped self? "I actually said IN FRONT of this piano, but I have no complaints about making out with me on top of this oh-so-sleek piano--" You emphasized, gesturing on the piano in front of you. Tj couldn't help but shake his head from how funny and adoring you were acting tonight.

"Jesus Christ," He mumbled as you heard him chuckle. A small insect that flew on your nose distracted your current state of mind. Blasè from how you naturally slapped your own nose with your own hand, making you groan because it hurt.

Don't think it didn't go unnoticed by your boyfriend because it did, and he laughed even more.

"You're such a talkative noodle when you're drunk," To your surprise, you didn't see him stand up from his seat. "Tj--" And he basically captured you in his arms, instantly placing you on top of their piano that made all the heat travel towards your face. What if his mother sees the both of you in that 'thirsty' position? What will she think of you? Not that your mind could muster those things up right now because all its focus is on Tj and his sexy ass self. Nobody else.

"Eeeek! Tj!" You shrieked, shyly covering your lips with your hands, a smile never fading.

"Shut up," He uttered non-chalantly his next words stated as if it was a matter of fact. "That crusty ass lips needs a little dusting anyway,"

Your boyfriend and his sass. Thus, it was your time to raise a brow. "I am offended," He grinned, leaning in close, his cerulean blue eyes turning darker with the mischievous thought that he had in mind. "Preferably with my tongue," Tj added so smoothly before catching your lips with his.

You were currently in a whirlwind, with how Tj was kissing you? He was definitely a pro at it. Creating a world inside your mind that nobody could ever jump in. Just you and Tj. Your own little world.

Tj bit your lip, igniting a purr inside of you that made him grip your hips tight, turning on an imaginary switch that could make him go on and on, dangerously never wanting to stop. He chuckled a very low one once he got to lick your lips, teasing you which made you shuffle your legs and change your current sitting position. Boldly untangling your legs and propelling to have Tj between your thighs, making him oblige with no complaints because he was already used to it. Used to how you like him between your thighs every so often.

The way you tightly tug on his coat could define you as a cat wanting his or her owner for food. Definitely deprived and hungry for what Tj could give.

For you? He'll give you everything you wanted. Even the sun or the moon if he was being unrealistic.

"T-J?" You whispered, talking through his kisses and getting distracted by the sounds it creates from the way he was practically eating your face with closed eyes. Your hands instinctively took his face, keeping himself angled from where you could kiss him affectionately as you can, adding a little bit of tongue as you do even though you weren't quite used to it. Tj didn't mind though because he was quick to lap up your tongue back just like how you did.

Your spine shivered when you felt his fingers cascade on the side of your neck, clasping his fingers on your nape and keeping you there where he wanted. "You're," Peck. "the only," Smooch. "person," Bite. "who," A quiet giggle from the both of you "keeps me," Lick. "sane," Another deep kiss that drugged your kind soul.

A special drug that Tj could only effect you with it.

"The piano," Dougie sounded so done with everything, probably exactly exhausted from their engagement party and seeing his brother making out with his girlfriend certainly added more fatigue to the previous one. "Really, Tj?"

"God, I don't play the piano because you do those stuffs but Nana uses that for fucks sake,"

If it wasn't for Tj who happened to stopped the kisses, you guys wouldn't probably stop because you were too intoxicated and worked up to even know his brother was there. "A cockblocker," Tj backed his head a little, giving you space to breath. You felt him swipe the sides of your lips with his thumbs, erasing the smudge of your nude lipstick, paying no mind that his brother saw him making out with you. "As per usual," Your lover sounded unamused before finally giving his brother the attention he deserved.

"You guys..." Dougie gestured to the both of you before cringing, "were planning to...?" Tj nodded his head, his powdery blue eyes glimmering against the lights with euphoria. Definitely it was because of you.

"Yeah," He cocked his head to the side, playfully squinting his eyes at his brother and still sounding unamused. "Apparently, you're a cockblocker," His lips turn to a grin in which his brother has reciprocated as well. "Continuously giving me blue balls, Doug. You're the best," Tj added with a strong sense of sarcasm.

"Nana's gonna whoop your ass," Dougie chuckled, tugging on the lapels of his coat to flatten it up. "Anyway, mom needs to talk to you,"

You continued to stare at the beautiful man standing in between you with a dreamy glint in your eyes, never cutting off your attention to look at his brother. Heat travelled to your cheeks with your gal bladder twisting in a knot though that didn't stop you from staring at your boyfriend like a high school kid.

"I need to talk to her anyways," Tj informed his brother with a tiny raise of his brow, his attention solely on his brother who walked a foot closer to where you were. "Is it about the dome? did something happen?"

"Nah," Tj shook his head and he could feel you tugging on his shoulder. Slightly shaking to get his attention. "Just something important that I need to talk to her about,"

Dougie nodded, not wanting to dig deeper because apparently Thomas didn't want to tell him the details. He briefly looked at you, and he couldn't help but smile. Entirely amused by how you were asking Tj for help to take you to the bathrooms because you wanted to pee so bad.

"Y/N's drunk." Dougie responded as he watched Tj help you jump down the piano. "Well, that's a first,"

"You didn't need to state to obvious, Doug." Tj muttered with a chuckle. Feeling your arms surround him in a tight hug while humming at the same time. "I wanna pee, I wanna pee," You repeated, sniffing your boyfriend's sweet, masculine, vanilla perfume that you love so much.

"Oh, God. I didn't know she's like this when she's drunk." He tried stopping his giggle when you tried your best to tiptoe and sniff his delectable neck. Humming from how scenty his perfume was. He emitted a snort, jumping as he giggled like a kid as he took his palm to cover your lips. "You're tickling me, sweetheart!"

"Let me peeeeee, Hammondddddd..Or I'm biting you!" You slurred and sounded inaudible. Licking his palm at the same time in which he didn't find it gross and kept covering your lips. "Rawr!"

"God," Dougie facepalmed, keeping himself pretty composed but he couldn't help but still chuckle from your intoxicated state.

"Jesus Christ! Okay! Okay! We're going to take you to the bathrooms and you're gonna have your wondrous pee time," Tj talked you through, his amused eyes staring down at you with a tender smile and glimmer. "Got that, baby?"

You were quick to give him a shaky salute, a giggle never forgetting to travel way past your lips with a wiggle of your brows that made his brother glance at the both of you before spinning on his heels to walk away.

"Sir, yes--!" You hiccupped, giggling in the process with your eyes turning crescents. "--Baby--Sir?"

✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*✧˖*

"Thanks, mom. I really needed that discouragement,"

"Tj, you're being a little too head over heels with this Asian woman--"

"And now you're giving out negative complaints again even when I had a relationship with a man," Tj had his hands on his hips, seeming to appear stupified from all he was hearing from Elaine Hammond. The secretary of the state. A.K.A his mother.

His eyes were bloodshot red, emotions currently in a mess and thoughts were in a haywire. "Do you even consider my happiness, mom?" He answered back, standing a foot away from his mother.

"Tj, honey," Elaine sounded defeated, a loud sigh escaping her lips. "You know I do,"

"Then why do you oppose me of marrying her?!" Her son's animosity kept her mouth shut. What was the problem with his decision? Why was she saying no to his decision even though he was already an adult? Old enough to think through his decisions in life?

Tj couldn't help but chuckle in anger before hastily shifting to rage that made him spit accidental profanities towards his mother. "She's not a fucking congressman who decided to give up on me and those kind of shit!"

"You watch that language young man!" Elaine's eyes wanted to pop out of her eyesockets. They were not having this talk again.."It's just--" His mother stuttered, finding the right words so she wouldn't hurt her precious son. "What I actually wanted to point out is that it's too soon, son." She paused, taking another sigh when she saw him shake his head in disdain.

There had been a second of silence, waiting for her son to talk but Tj kept his mouth shut as he waits for her to finish her sweet scolding. "You're dating her for like," She thought for a second, counting the months that Y/N and Tj were together inside her head. "--a year? this was the first time we've got to talk again in person and this is what you surprise me with?" Elaine had a hint of distress in her voice. "A quick sudden marriage that you wanted to tie her up?"

Tj cut their eye contact. The floor currently more appealing to stare at rather than his unsupportive mother who found this very important decision in his life, very wrong for her. An utter mistake.

"Teejay, honey," She sweet talked, trying to make him feel better. "I...I just don't want the past to repeat itself, you know how it was when you dated Sean,"

Tj had his tongue poking on the insides of his cheeks. One of his defense mechanisms or ways to show that he was on the verge of crying. He puffed out air out of his mouth, entirely distressed from his mother's opposition.

He cleared his throat, emphasizing his words with some simple movements of his hands. Eyes completely irked by how things wouldn't go as planned. "But, she's different mom. She isn't like him. I've been clean for the past year!"

"That's what you said when you dated him back then," She deadpanned, reciprocating his gestures as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Mom," Tj sounded desperate. His eyes completely glossy under the incandescent lights. "I'm downright in love with her," He added, biting his lips as hard as how his mother's way of thinking was unwavered.

Tj choked on his own words, cinching his eyebrows as he added. "--And I've never been this lovestruck with a woman for all my life," her son paused, taking a breather. "I love her too much that it'll hurt if she lets me go,"

Elaine shook her head in disappointment. "And your solution for that fear you feel is to marry the heck out of Y/N?" She spat. "Tj, do you even have a single trust for her?"

Tj couldn't help but groan internally, roughly pulling on the ends of his roots as he stared at his mother, entirely stupefied from how she was taking everything in. "I do, Mom! I do! I'm just scared that it'll happen again," Thomas honestly spoke, voice turning softer from opening a wound that was already healing. Even close to being healed. "Especially with her,"

Elaine was staring at her son with pity. Tj completely looked like a puppy who was in need of an owner, a pup who was deprived from love and care. His mother couldn't help the tears from starting to form because how can she let her once happy son end up that way? How could she?

Was she really a bad mother?

"She's special," Tj added desperately, eyes bloodshot red. "She saved my life," He choked, sniffing to himself as he washed his face with a hand. Pulling the strings of his fragile heart in misery. "Saved me from all the suicide attempts that I wanted to happen," pause. "Saved me from caging inside my fears, insecurities and darkness that was bound to trap me till I couldn't find my way out,"

Tj’s Cerulean eyes were blazing with great dread and cracks that formed his soul. Confessing how he could be weak without this woman in front of his mom was giving him anxiety and hearing himself speak about Y/N was making his image look more delicate than ever. Yet, he gave zero fucks about it because when did his image became important anyways?

"Mom, I know she's the one for me," he croaked, swallowing the tight feeling inside his chest. A drop of warm tear fell on the side of his eyes, but he was quick to wipe it away a little roughly, blaming his soft heart because he was already crying. Again. "I don't give a damn about her ethnicity nor her race. I don't even care if she's rich or not because those things aren't important to me, "

Elaine Hammond got her tongue stuck in her throat as she saw her son in the verge of bawling his eyes out in front of her. There was more to his tears other than the fact that she was disapproving his decision about marriage. "All I care about is how she truly loves me back just the way I love her," Tj continued, voice cracking from his own words.

"Because that's what went wrong with the relationship that I had with Sean. Now, that I got everything in hand," he sighed, controlling the anger, sadness and disappointment all together. "Why would I even let her go?"

Was she really disapproving Tj's decision because she thought it was too soon for the both of them? Or was it because she sees him as her healing son who had his heart up his sleeve? Scared that he would actually break again and he wouldn't get to find the light anymore?

"Tj," Elaine started, shoulders and head straight as she was about to explain herself. "No, mom." her son cut her off, looking completely rigid. "You just don't want her to be a part of this family," Tj harshly spat.

"What's even wrong with her?" he was entirely skeptical at the idea of Y/N not being liked by his very own mother. It was much more dissatisfying when he heard the former president, specifically his father's who came barging in their conversation.

"Everything," Bud intervened and deadpanned, igniting the fire with more gas if that was even possible.

Tj could feel his nerves in a wreck. He was mad, frustrated for the hundred time because of his own family, especially towards his father. "We're not like you, dad! If you're worried because one of us may commit some fucking adultery like what you just did because I couldn't keep it in my pants--!"

"Thomas!" Elaine scolded and didn't let him finish his own sentence. She knew what he was going to say and there was no doubt that her son knew what his father did. It was not like it was a secret because it has been Bud's serious scandal back when he was still the president.

"So, you're teaming up with him now?!" said Tj, thoroughly upset by how their talk went.

"Thomas James Hammond! You are stepping in your boundaries!"

Tj shook his head in disdain, snickering from everything that was happening as of the moment. He faked a smile, a silhouette of another man coming from the kitchen. "Tj--" Dougie started, trying to understand both sides as he was hearing them out in the kitchen. The conversation was turning more heated and he knew if he didn't stop them then it'll get more nasty for the family.

"Even you too, Dougie?" his younger brother uttered, features getting hard and his cerulean eyes piercing through their skins.

"Fuck, this family is perfect!" His feigned laugh echoed through the room.

You were in the comfort room, currently counting the small pimples on your face, scrunching your nose when you've counted more than ten. Definitely not a perfect woman for Thomas James Hammond and your drunk self is pondering why he was still staying with you when he could've had proportioned models or even sons or daughters of known politicians.

Nevertheless, he chose to stay with you. A woman who got nothing but a kind heart to offer.

You were lucky to have him all to yourself.

Hush exchanges and deep discussions started from the living room. You can hear Tj's sexy, sultry rough voice coming from that certain room. As you were walking through the hallway, you've heard him sternly say things about how his family didn't want you to be part of his, like his mother didn't wholeheartedly accept you.

With Bud's words, it was a guarantee that what he said was finally confirmed. He really didn't like you for his son.

Yes, you were lucky. But, not for his family.

"Tj--" Dougie started to explain, but Tj cut him off with a harsh spat.

"No, no, no. No one really gives a shit,"

"Don't even bother coming to The Dome for its one year anniversary, go fucking throw all those invitations away for all I care!" Tj mumbled as he scrambled to his feet, he was completely drowning in his thoughts for you. He needed to find you because the room was beginning to choke him alive. "Even though, you all know how important you are to me,"

You were at the end of the room, hazy, dreary eyes seeing Tj striding across the room to find you. You fiddled with the lapels of his black coat resting on your shoulder. Basically, you looked like a drunk, kicked abandoned puppy who seemed to not be liked by his family.

A hug was all you wanted right now, and by the looks of your furious, teary eyed, healing Hammond, he desperately needs one too.

"Let's go, Y/N." Tj's warm, comforting hand grabbed yours. Roughly tugging you along in your heels. You were struggling in your shoes and by how fast and long his legs were. "T-Tj..Slow down, please?" you stuttered, alcohol running in your veins and it wasn't helping that the world was twirling in a vortex.

He abruptly stopped in front of their door, your forehead hitting his back with a soft thud. Automatically uttering a tender apology towards the latter. Tj spun in his heels, his long, soft, pretty fingers wrapping around your wrist a little too tightly. Probably because of his anger towards everything, yet you weren't complaining because you were too drunk to even retort. You were even numb from the alcohol and from the piercing words that went straight to the heart.

If only it was all but a dream..

"You guys are the fucking best," you heard Tj sarcastically spat towards his family who were shooting daggers at the both of you. They couldn't understand yet. No, not until they wanted to understand where Tj was coming from then they wouldn't get to.

They wouldn't get to because they've never understood him since he was in the white house.

Thomas James Hammond only needed love, understanding and affection. He just wanted to be loved. He has ever been a soft boy.

Y/N Y/L/N came along and gave him what he wanted, yet she wasn't downright accepted.

Just like TJ Hammond, and that was probably why they were good for each other.

Then the door slammed shut, vibrating their stunned souls. Nana revealed herself from the kitchen, a disappointed look on her pretty, aging face. She knew she liked Y/N's pure heart. More so for her grandson because she knew how he was whipped and ready to climb mountains for this woman.

Elaine's mother sipped on her martini, her voice cracking from age as she finally addressed the elephant in the room. "Elaine," she grabbed her daughter's attention. "You won't be getting to save Tj for the second time now because you've just showed how invalid he was. Y/N will." Elaine frowned tightly, trying hard not to roll her eyes as she was trying to process everything at hand.

Margaret huffed as she glanced at Elaine's ex-husband. "As for you, Bud.." She eventually snickered, twirling the glass in her feeble hands with a stressed out tone.

"You're a dick,”

GOSH. I LOVE TJ HAMMOND TOO MUCH. GO LIKE AND REBLOG THIS IF Y’ALL LOVE TJ HAMMOND! Sorry if it’s too long? Hehehe!

XOXO, TATA

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yakumtsaki · 5 years

Photo

Alright you guys, sorry for the delay, I’ve had to restart this post 20 fucking times because my changes weren’t being saved in the draft and then I kept getting the ‘upload failed’ error. In case you don’t remember wtf is going on you might wanna re-read the last update (I certainly had to) which is apparently from JUNE 2018. Jfc I suck so hard. Now this was gonna be really long but tumblr wouldn’t post it so I’m breaking it up in 3 parts, part 2 to be posted tomorrow. For those that don’t feel like reading back, general recap of the last couple updates:

Jojo cheated on Wyatt with Max Flexor and my solution to that marital crisis was to adopt our first dog ever, a puppy hilariously named Maxx.

The puppy grew up to be an asshole and is constantly beating up the cats, who have turned into giant pussies (no pun intended) and are losing every fight to him despite the fact they’re named after Mortal Kombat characters. They’re a fucking disgrace to Alegra’s/Victor’s/Ronroneo’s memory and I haven’t settled on a cat heir yet because they both suck.

Jojo is perma miserable, I don’t even remember how much money away from his 100k LTW, and still not a werewolf despite my pathologically persistent attempts to make him friends with the wolf.

Fucking useless Wyatt didn’t get promoted while Komei was alive providing us with his 100 townie friends, we spent 20 updates befriending every rando that crossed our lot to secure his promotion, and then finally on the day he was supposed to become Captain Hero, Wyatt got, of course, fired and is now on track to take longer to complete his literal career based LTW than Komei took to get 6 pets on the top of their careers.

Absolutely everyone hates noogie addict Shajar, she got a Kylo Ren makeover, and we still don’t know what her sexual orientation is thanks to her ridiculous fitness/fatness turn ons and cleanliness turn off.

Golden child/10 nice points freakshow Cyneswith grew up, rolled romance with the most disturbing turn-ons/offs possible (grey hair/mechanical & charisma turn off) and the 20 simultaneous lovers LTW.

Wulf grew up into a kid, got an Amadeus makeover, is officially a Wyatt clone and the only member of this family I don’t completely hate yet.

Now I’d like to begin the first Union post in more than a year by requesting you do me a solid and lower your expectations for this thing as far down as humanly possible. Like really try to recreate the Jules Verne classic “Journey to the Center of the Earth” with your expectations here, because my brain is so fucking fried that there’s a 20% chance I randomly start citing sources at some point during this post. This grad school crap has seriously been the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever. And speaking of bad trade deals, let’s get this update rolling with the man, the myth, the legend, the husband who managed to make Komei look like a dreamboat in comparison..

..Wyatt fucking Union, née Monif. It’s been a long time, but I’m not gonna lie to you Wyatt, not nearly long enough. Looking good man, just one small question, where the fuck are your eyebrows?

-You àccidéntally deléted thém, imbécilé, et I cannôt exprèss my irritatiόn prόperly becausé I hàve non eyebrôws!

Did your selective French accent get thicker this past year or is it just me?

-It géts thickér whén je suis distrésséd, givé moi mon eyebrôws bàcc!!!

No can do, brother. Actually can do, but I think the Mona Lisa look is working for you, and more importantly I still hate you, so I’m just gonna hardcore ignore you for the rest of this post if that’s ok. Talk to me when you finally get promoted, aka never the way this shit is going.

-Non! NON! MON EYEBROWS!

It’s been lovely catching up.

Jojό I mean Jojo, goddammit Wyatt, is spending most of his time building robots in the mausoleum (sweet hipster band name alert)..

..giving financial advice in Shajar’s room (inb4 what’s the difference between the mausoleum and Shajar’s room)..

..building evil snowmen alone in the middle of the night, like all mentally healthy middle aged men with 3 kids are wont to do..

..and getting the piss harassed out of him by the cat ghosts in the bathroom (sweet hipster band name alert #2). How is this like the fourth time this happens in the exact same spot, will you just stop autonomously cleaning the bathroom after midnight? It’s obviously where the cats hang out, give it the fuck up already.

-I’m actively TRYING TO DIE you absolute moron, what does a guy have to do to get killed around here?

Yea can’t say that I blame you but not happening, you can commit suicide by Ghost Alegra after the kids fuck off to college, ok? I promise.

-Oh like you promised me being heir was a route worth pursuing??

Um obviously you too need to go back and re-read your own life story, because I spent the entirety of our “““cherished””” time together telling you heirship is a shitty gig at generation 2. And then to top it off you went and married Wyatt to ensure maximum shittiness, so there you go, fucking enjoy. God I am so sick of both of you losers and we’re only 5 pics in. Let’s check in with your spawn, I’m sure they can’t possibly be more annoying than their parents-

-oh right, I forgot, this is the generation with 10/10/9 active points where the party never stops. Cyneswith are you somehow twerking to classical music?

-How else am I gonna attract all those hot senior citizens per my grey hair turn on and 20 lovers LTW?

Ok great yea I see how this is gonna go, you’re trying to entice people into voting you for heir based on how torturous playing this fucked up LTW is gonna be for me, well forget it, my readers are intellectuals and completely above such petty entertainment. (istg mofos, don’t even think about it, i already did Komei’s 5 pets career shit, i will burn this place to the ground if you saddle me with Cyneswith banging the elderly for 30 years)

-No need to worry your stupid little head, I will beat Cyneswith for HEIR just like I beat her HAIR up daily! HAHA!

Shajar no offense but you’re a fucking war crime of a sim, nearly everyone who’s ever met you hates you including your parents, and the fact that you’re the alternative here is really not helping my situation in any way. Also how the fuck are you gonna be heir when the only thing you seem to be attracted to is giving noogies, you’re like one week away from college and I still don’t even know if you’re str8 or gay or bi or w/e the fuck you are. You have Jojo’s personality combined with..

..yes exactly, DANIEL’S SOCIAL ABILITIES. I mean I was joking with the whole ‘Shajar’s the spawn of Satan’ thing, but this combo of traits was clearly drawn up in Hell’s boardroom.

ANYWAY. It’s a snowy Sunday morning, and anyone who has been a teen knows what that means:

Time to go clubbing! Man I remember being like 15, waking up on a freezing Sunday morning and my mom making me a cup of hot chocolate before I drove off to the club. Those were the days.

-Uh, Shaj, when did you learn how to drive?

-Don’t be stupid, Cyneswith, people don’t need to ‘learn’ how to drive.

-They absolutely do, actually.

-Well what can I tell you, the dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

-Here we are, safe and sound! Celebratory noogie!

-YOU RAN OVER 9 PEOPLE

-How many times to I have to explain this to you, Apartment Life townies are not people.

Can’t argue with that logic. Let’s just go in and find out what Shajar’s sexual orientation is once and for all so I can spend the rest of this update aggressively promoting Wulf’s candidacy.

Now I consider ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ one of the dumbest sayings there is, but even I have to concede that this particular picture truly is worth a thousand words. Quick poll, what is more horrifying, Shajar’s literal Joker face or Cyneswith, whom I’ve never seen read a book ever, autonomously pulling one out in the middle of the dance floor, in what I can only assume is an attempt to attract old perverts with the schoolgirl routine?

And I know what some of you are thinking, you’re like ‘bro, you’re just reaching to make a bad joke bro, Cyneswith is just a sweet nice introvert and not like other girls, she doesn’t feel comfortable in the club’, well to that let me reply with another picture that is worth a thousand words:

Yea that’s right, on the first minute of our first time out WE RUN INTO THAT ONE ELDER TOWNIE THAT HAS WRINKLE MAKE UP ON. GODDAMMIT CYNESWITH

Do you guys remember how Jojo was obsessed with Stephen Tinker as a teen? Are you seeing the connection here?? Those kids have literally inherited the worst possible traits from both their parents turned up to 11, it’s fucking unreal.

Right after I get over Wrinkle’s presence I turn around and what do I see, those 2, who have never had a non-noogie physical interaction, autonomously doing the family kiss thing. I didn’t even catch it on time because I was loling irl, we came out here so these assholes can find age-appropriate partners, and instead they’re kissing each other. Seems about right with this family, and clearly Striped Scarf’s dumb ass ships it.

-They look so much alike, it’s meant to be!

Yes, and they even share the same last name! Talk about written in the stars.

Thankfully Abhijeet is here to save us from incest by perving on Cyneswith. GTFO ABHIJEET. Anyone like ‘bro townies just autonomously come to greet your sims on community lots regardless of age, stop calling them perverts’, see you in about 5 pics down.

I try to have Shajar chat up Striped Scarf and suffice it to say Shaj ~stole her heart~ and presumably put it on this stick to wave around.

NO. CYNESWITH NO. I’m seriously having déjà vu of all the times I was like ‘NO. JOJO NO’, jfc.

Shajar is unsurprisingly exhibiting no interest in socializing with anyone around her, instead she’s trying every activity this terribly lit place has to offer, and she looks demented while doing it:

I’m feeling a primal urge to photoshop Darth Vader’s melted helmet on the bowling ball here, someone please remind me to do it for the heir vote photoshoot.

-HA. SUCK IT DENISE JACQUET

That’s Denise Jacquet?! I can’t tell who anyone is for shit anymore. The default replacements are a scourge upon premade brands, I’m getting rid of them pronto. Speaking of scourges, where the hell is your sister?

-Who cares?

I wanna say ‘me’ but we both know that’s a lie.

Oh ok, THERE SHE IS.

-So you see Cyneswith, just because something is technically ‘illegal’, doesn’t mean it’s morally wrong-

Yea yea fascinating stuff, now get out of the hot tub or I will fucking neuter you, I don’t know if a eunuch mod already exists for medieval games but I will make one if it doesn’t.

Here, Cyneswith, drink some water, have a nice G-rated convo with your sister about violins and stop pissing me off.

-First of all this is straight vodka.

Great.

-Secondly Shajar is talking about Mozart’s coprophilia.

-I sure am.

Amazing. Well, I guess it’s at times like these when you need to look inside your heart and truly ask yourself, what did you expect from Jojo’s children.

ABHIJEET ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME DID YOU EVEN HEAR ME TALK ABOUT CASTRATION

-Ha, I went home and put on my most elderly-looking formal wear!

-I hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave Ab <3

CYNESWITH SHUT UP. I can’t believe you people are actually making me miss Gunther’s teenage whoring, at least he kept it age appropriate.

-Is some random lady pressing her breasts against my head?

She most certainly is, Shajar, because it is now crystal clear that this bowling alley doubles as the site of annual perv townie convention and we walked right into it-

-and it’s also clear we have serious issues and are enjoying ourselves. Shaj I legit don’t know what to tell you, this is the first time you get along with someone right away and it just had to be the adult with the bad haircut and the flasher’s trench coat???

-You’re damn right it did.

Alright then, I’m officially going to nope out of this situation, safe in the knowledge you’re a noogiesexual and nothing will actually happen with this freak, so I’ll focus on Cyneswith instead who is much more of a loose canon.

Here Cyn, talk to this guy, who I’m 90% sure is the same guy your father rejected in favor of stalking Stephen Tinker when he was your age.

-Ohhhh, he’s dreamy!

Omg really?? Halleluj-

-oh never mind, you were of course referring to adult ass Brandon Lillard. I do like that our townies have recurring roles each generation, we should make rejecting Blondie a rite of passage in this family. We should also officially gtfo because this is happening:

-Um, now that I’m looking at you in harsher lighting, it’s gonna be a no from me dawg.

Oh, thank the fucking lord.

-Let’s celebrate the fact we didn’t get hopelessly obsessed with any adults here by doing the traditional Dance of Normality!

-We beat Dad’s genes, we beat Dad’s genes!

-We’re normal!

Yes, and we’re definitely showing it. Can we please leave now so I can make sure I’ve uninstalled Inteenminator and turn off free will?

-Nop! Venue change!

-Got-out-of-the-car celebratory noogie!

-Made-it-to-the-door celebratory noogie!

Shajar you unironically have a noogie addiction, I’m not kidding in the slightest, you need to see a doctor.

Great, great, not another teen in sight and to top it off Denise followed us here to ensure maximum elder presence. I feel comfortable officially declaring this day a complete waste of time.

God, the vintage pink dress and the pink alcohol combo is some straight up current era Taylor Swift nonsense. That’s it, we’re outta here, back home where no one is lurking, waiting to strike at us-

-SOPHIE NOOOOOOOOOOOO💔💔💔💔💔

-The Lord is my shepherd.

NO HE ISN’T EVERYONE KNOWS YOU CAN’T HERD CATS PLEASE DON’T DIE

-Nop, I’m over it. Goodbye heathens, it’s been nice, hope you don’t find your paradise.

UGH SOPHIE, my beloved Westboro lunatic, the last gangsta generation 1 cat we had.. I can’t believe you’re gone and all I’m left with is stupid Goro and D’vorah who can’t even beat up the fucking dog. This is truly painful.

Yes, pets, I agree, Kaylynn is completely to blame for Sophie dying of old age. The time has now come to decide on a cat heir-

-and since Goro ran away like a little bitch after Sophie’s death despite the fact he didn’t even like her, he’s automatically disqualified and will be going off to live on Melody and Daniel’s farm once returned to us. Congratulations to D’vorah I guess, on being the least terrible of two terrible options.

On the topic of terrible heir options, Cyn has non-stop wants to go on dates and have her first kiss and all that crap, and since our Sunday morning clubbing was a bust we invite over the matchmaker.

-Hello there young Union, I see your house has been upgraded since I was last here.

Oh right we haven’t required your services since Daniel was a teen and we lived in a trailer, well we are flush with cash now!

-Hopefully your payment reflects that.

It will!! Just please give us someone good, I can’t deal with single teen Cyn for one more second.

-Oh my, what a beautiful BLANK PIECE OF PAPER.

WHAT!? NO THAT’S 5K IT’S JUST A SNOW GLITCH

-What do I look like to you, a money thawing service?

Does such a service.. exist??

-It does not, so I have to go home and use a hairdryer on this!

Just come inside and we’ll give you non-frozen money!

-No, no, you’ll get what you paid for..

-Have a magical time!

...

.........

......................

Lakshmi this was so fucking evil that I almost want to age you down and see if you and Shajar hit it off.

-As if, the whole neighborhood knows what you did to Komei.

Helped him achieve his insane 6-pets-career LTW?

-Turned him into a servant while your sim was lounging around all day!

Oh yea I did do that. But Wyatt was also a townie and he does literally nothing, Jojo is the servant now!

-Only because Wyatt is too fucking stupid to do things! Word has gotten out, no townie will ever marry in this family again unless they’re brain dead, so it’s Wyatts only for you from now on, sister!

Well this has been a complete fucking disaster. It was great seeing you again, Lakshmi, thanks for the dream date with the adult farting machine, 5k well-spent.

Pretty sure it was you bro, and yes, how about we don’t do that again.

Wyatt has brought over Amanda from work! (Aka Victoria’s only friend and subsequent lesbian lover, who is really pretty and is definitely getting married in at some point, preferably after the brown hair genes have been weakened so we can go back to being gingers.)

-Wow Shajar, your grandmother, God rest her soul, mentioned you were her favorite and now I can see why! Loving the Kylo Ren look!

-Is someone being genuinely nice to me?! What is happening?

-Yes, please stop being nice to her, Amanda, we don’t want her getting used to it.

Jojo istg.

-Cyneswith dear, tell Amanda all about how much money your grandmother left you so she can stop being nice to Shajar.

-Soooo much money, Miss Amanda!

-Ah, what a polite child I’ve single-handedly raised.

-Now, Cyneswith, you really need to get back on the dating scene so you have ample time to find the perfect spouse and continue our line, since you’re clearly the only one of my children that is remotely heir material.

-Dad, Shajar and Wulf are right next to you.

-Oh they are? I’m wearing my special contact lenses that make those disappointments invisible to me, but even better, they need to hear this. Shajar is a noogiesexual and thus incapable of reproduction, and Wulf is not even a Union, I mean have you seen that kid? Wyatt reproduced by himself like the amoeba he is. Now, your grandmother-

-YOU MENTIONED ME 3 TIMES AND HERE I AM

OH FUCK VICTORIA, deleting the default replacements gave you base game hair!!!!

-That’s the part you’re scared by, not my Beetlejuicesque entrance?

There’s literally nothing scarier than your ghost sporting this haircut for all eternity, I’m re-downloading that default immediately.

-Oh mom, so good to see you! Let me just hug my beloved child, Shijer-

-Shajar, dad.

-SHAJAR, let me hug Shajar, like I do all the time.

-I’m glad to see you’re not picking favorites among your children like I did, the way I treated David-

-Daniel, mom.

-DANIEL, is the one thing I’ve truly been regretting in the afterlife. That and not skinning Marisa Bendett alive when I had the chance.

-Well, as you can see by Shajar’s totally normal and not at all shocked reaction to my hug, I am a wonderful, fair, and emotionally available father.

(Bruh this freaked me out so much when it happened, I mean I KNOW it’s an animation glitch but I was convinced my sims had become sentient for a good while after)

-Is your grandmother’s ghost still on the premises?

-Yup.

-When will this nightmare end, paying attention to you is the worst.

-Ok she’s gone.

-FINALLY. Now it’s back to the crypt for you, and don’t you dare go complain to her urn!

-Ah, Stephen, Stephen, my life is crap and I can’t even🎵

And with the knowledge you have composed a theme song for Stephen Tinker, part 1 of the Union comeback update is concluded. Will Shajar’s sexual orientation reveal itself? Will Cyneswith find true love? Will Jojo become a werewolf? Will Wulf continue to be the only dignified member of this family? Will D’vorah have kittens? Will Wyatt do literally anything worth mentioning? Tune in for parts 2 & 3 to find out, unfollow button on the upper right corner for those who need it.

#gen 2 #ts2

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i-write-about-anything · 5 years

Text

This Means War

Prompt: The reader gets herself in a sticky situation. (Yes this is based off the movie with Tom Hardy and Chris Pine, those fine mofos.)

Pairings: Fangs Fogarty x reader, Sweet Pea x Reader

A/N: i saw the movie for the 100th time, i had to do this bye.

(Y/N) never found herself as the girl that would have a dating app, most specifically, Tinder. Veronica was the one to suggest it after her recent break up with her boyfriend, it had been approximately found months since the break up and Veronica hated to see her friend down, which is why she took it upon herself to make (y/n) a profile. She was mad at first but grew into it once she found the matches she was getting, the countless guys trying to get her to meet up only to have sex made her eerie about the app but she had a good conversation with one guy in particular, Fangs. His name was funny to her at the beginning but she found herself smiling every time Veronica had brought it up. It had been two weeks since their initial meeting on Tinder and today they were meeting at Pop’s for their first official date. (Y/N) consulted the help of none other than her best-friend Veronica, (y/n) didn’t know as much of fashion as Veronica did which was what led (y/n) to her. “Will you relax, he’s going to think you’re beautiful.” Veronica spoke.

“What if he’s not the boy in the photos?” (Y/N)’s mind finally spoke what she had been worrying about. She knew about the catfishing, she feared that the boy in the photo wasn’t him and even though they had exchanged multiple photos, nothing could prepare her for sure.

“You’re not serious.” Veronica looked at her friend before she rolled her eyes. “(Y/N) it’s him, there’s no reason for him to lie to you. He likes you, stop trying to find something wrong with it.” Veronica knew (y/n) she had been trying to get out of the date for three days now, finding something new to complain about. She put a dress in (y/n)’s hands, it was red, (y/n)’s favorite color. “Now, I know you hate short dresses, but trust me on this, you’re going to be shinning.” Veronica smiled clapping her hands before she pushed (y/n) into her bathroom. Fangs had his doubts as well, he had been catfished one to many times but something about (y/n) drew him in. He left out a few details in his profile, like the fact that he was a Serpent, something that would only matter after their date. He huffed out before shaking his hands in the air, he had been nervous all day and his best friend, Sweet Pea, could notice it.

“You haven’t even met her and she’s already got you fidgeting like a little bitch.” Sweet Pea’s voice rung through Fangs’ room causing him to roll his eyes before he threw a pillow at Sweet Pea.

“You know, just because you can’t get a date on Saturday night doesn’t mean you have to be a dick about it.” Fangs smiled at his friend when he rolled his eyes, Sweet Pea didn’t do dates, he hooked up with girls. “Plus, I think this might be a good one, I don’t want to blow it.” Fangs sighed, looking at the mirror once more.

“You’re such a sap.” Sweet Pea pushed his friend onto his bed. Fangs shook his head before chuckling and pushing Sweet Pea back. Fangs looked at his Serpent jacket and decided whether or not it would be best to tell her from the start but he quickly shook his head and placed the jacket on a hanger in his closet. “What, you’re changing your ways now to?” Sweet Pea crossed his arms over his chest, the leather of his jacket making a sound with the action.

“No, I just, haven’t told her, and I don’t plan on bombarding her with it either, if I’m feeling it, then maybe I'll tell her.” Fangs punched Sweet Pea’s shoulder causing him to grunt. “Alright, good luck with trying to pick up a girl tonight, I'm out.” Fangs threw up a peace sign before heading to Pop’s. Of course, he was twenty minutes early, he was eager to see this girl, eager to finally meet her and talk to her, and to see if it was actually her. He ordered a milkshake as he waited for her, his hand yanking down on the sleeve of his black shirt, trying to cover the Serpent tattoo on his right bicep.

“Are you Fangs?” He heard a voice from behind him, he froze for a second before sliding out of the booth and turning to see the beautiful girl. “It’s actually you.” She smiled sticking her hand out, Fangs returned the smile as his hand shook hers.

“And it’s actually you.” He chuckled causing her to bite her lip. “Please.” Fangs motioned her to sit on the booth which she gladly did, Fangs doing the same on the opposite side. “I’m sorry, I'm just a little nervous, this is kind of the first time I haven’t gotten catfished.” He chuckled and mentally kicked himself for saying that.

“I was actually afraid you’d might be a catfish as well.” (Y/N) giggled as she brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Me?” Fangs chuckled. “As if anybody would save my pictures and pretend to be me.” Fangs rolled his eyes and instantly regretted it when he saw her pout.

“Oh, I don’t know, you’re really good looking, I don’t see how it hasn’t happened before.” She smiled causing him to blush. He found himself biting his lip and trying to hide his face, he had never blushed. “So, Fangs.” (Y/N) placed her elbows on the table before leaning forward. “Tell me more about yourself.” She smiled and he returned it. They sat there, for three hours talking about each other, laughing at random things, they were having a great time but Fangs couldn’t bare to bring up his Serpent association, he didn’t want to scare her off, no, he’d ease into it, eventually. It was Pop who cleared his throat and motioned to the open sign that had been turned off, they had lost track of time and they didn’t regret it.

“(Y/N), you’re incredible.” Fangs spoke as they stopped in front of her car, his heart was beating fast, he didn’t want to say goodbye to her, no, not yet.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” She smiled back at him. “Alright, I'm going to go.” She sighed and looked at him. “I’ll be waiting for your call?” She squinted her eyes as she threw herself at him, mentally. She was never one to be straight forward, especially not with a guy but Fangs was different for her, he was sweet and wanted the same things she did, to get out of Riverdale.

“Most definitely.” Fangs smiled and hugged her, a small hug, no kiss, he wasn’t rushing this. She smiled at him before getting in her car and waving at him. She drove to the nearest gas station; her car had somehow gone from a third full to empty in just three hours. As she walked inside, she noticed the group of Serpents who were messing around in the parking lot, rolling her eyes she passed through them and went inside. Sweet Pea had followed her in, intrigued by her appearance as she scanned the snack isle, sure she had just eaten at Pop’s but she was always tempted to get snacks, even if she didn’t need them.

“Hey.” Sweet Pea’s voice startled her, he chuckled causing her to roll her eyes. “I don’t think you’ll like those.” He pointed to the bag of chips in her hands, she raised her eyebrows in surprise as she looked at him.

“And how would you know what I like?” She crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes wandering to the tattoo on his neck, of course he was a gang member.

“Because I know snacks, and girls.” He smiled his bright pearls at her, she was already irritated with the boy but she decided to play his little game.

“Really?” She asked, her eyes widening as she surprised herself, she was totally someone different today. He nodded as he pursed his lips, (y/n) nodded as well. “Okay, then why don’t you tell me what I want?” She turned her back on his causing a smile to spread over his face. He quickly caught up to her as he reached for the twizzlers. “Twizzlers?” She huffed out. “Why’s that?” She looked at the pack of candy in her hands.

“Because, they’re chewy, they taste like strawberries and they’re easy to eat.” Sweet Pea smiled feeling like he almost had her.

“It is a really good choice.” She nodded, giving him false hope as he smiled. “However.” She shoved the candy onto his chest. “Not as good as sour patch kids.” She grabbed the sour patch kids. He huffed, the smile on his face nowhere in sight.

“Scratch that, how about -” She cut him off by putting her hand up.

“Look, I know guys like you. You’re looking for someone to hook up with, but that’s not me, so thank you, but I'll be on my way now.” She smiled turning her back on him leaving him shocked, he had never been rejected which only made him more intrigued with her. He smiled as she walked out the gas station, he was going to play this game.

_______

(Y/N) worked at the Register as an intern to Betty’s mom, she wanted to be a part of the newspaper and Betty was the one to bring up the idea. She sat at the desk, her ear to the phone as she dotted down some notes for Alice. The ringing of the bell on the front door caught her attention causing her to look up, she scoffed when she was met with the brown eyes that haunted her from the gas station. He sat on her desk, a twizzler in his hand as he took a bite of it, he was determined to get this girl and he wasn’t taking no for an answer. “What are you doing here?” (Y/N) hissed as she covered the speaker to the phone.

“To be honest, I couldn’t get you out of my mind.” Sweet Pea smiled down at (y/n) as she rolled her eyes. Truth was he found her on Instagram and found out she worked there, so he obviously had to make an appearance. “But I don’t think a girl like this could handle a guy like me.” He smirked causing her blood to boil.

“I think I could.” She hashed out, her hand not moving from the speaker as she heard the voice on the other end continue to speak.

“Really?” He seemed unfazed but this was part of his plan, it had worked so many times before. She nodded as she rose her eyebrows. “Prove it, 8pm, Pop’s tomorrow.” She rolled her eyes.

“I don’t think so.” Her eyes went back to her notes as she listened to the voice on the other end.

“Alright, I guess I could stick around a little longer, how did you like sweet tarts?” He smiled down at her as she closed her eyes and covered the speaker once more before looking up at him.

“If I say yes will you leave? This is kind of my job.” She rolled her eyes as his smile grew larger.

“8PM, tomorrow.” He got off her desk.

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes.

“Fine.” He repeated before walking out of the office, she dropped her head and banged it on her desk, this was going to be hell.

_______

“Fangs, guess what buddy.” Sweet Pea grabbed his friend’s shoulders as he shook him. Fangs smiled as he put his phone away, he had been talking to (y/n) non-stop since their date and he was ecstatic about it.

“You got laid again?” Fangs spoke causing Sweet Pea to roll his eyes.

“No, you ass, I got a date.” Sweet Pea smiled before Fangs exploded in laughter, Sweet Pea’s smile fading as he crossed his arms over his chest. Fangs’ laughter died down once he saw the expression on his friend's face.

“Holy shit, you’re serious.” His phone dinged and he quickly pulled it out to see a message from (y/n).

“Yeah man, I'm serious, the same girl from the gas station.” Sweet Pea sighed as he sat on Fangs’ couch. Fangs smiled sitting next to his friend as he replied to (y/n). “You want to see her?” Sweet Pea smiled looking at his best friend.

“Yeah sure man, you want to see my girl?” Fangs looked at him, Sweet Pea nodding as he took his phone out. “I bet yours has horns and howls at the moon.” Fangs joked as he pulled up her Tinder profile.

“She probably does but she’s a ten.” Sweet Pea chuckled as he pulled up her Instagram account. “On three?” Fangs nodded. “One, Two, Three.” They both turned their phones towards each other. Fangs’ eyes looked at Sweet Pea’s screen before looking back at his phone, Sweet Pea doing the same.

“That’s.” Fangs pointed to Sweet Pea’s phone.

“(Y/N).” Sweet Pea finished as he pointed to Fangs phone.

“That’s the girl from the gas station?” Fangs asked confused as he took Sweet Pea’s phone in his hand.

“That’s right around the corner from Pop’s.” Sweet Pea looked down as realization hit, his hands catching his hair. “Oh wow, um.” Sweet Pea sighed as Fang’s back hit the back of the couch. They sat there in silence for three minutes. “I had no idea.” Sweet Pea looked at Fangs, he didn’t want to betray his best friend.

“Of course you didn’t, how could have you known?” Fangs reassured his friend, placing his hand on his shoulder. “Did she.” Fangs cleared his throat. “Did she actually say she wanted to go out with you though?” He was a little hurt, he thought they had hit it quite well.

“Look I'm going to make this easy, I'm going to bow out, you date her.” Sweet Pea stood up, Fangs doing the same.

“Wait, did she actually say she wanted to out with you?” Fangs asked in confusion and Sweet Pea bit his lip.

“It doesn’t matter, I care about you, you’re my best friend, you go.” Sweet Pea took a second. “Date her.” He placed his hand on Fangs shoulder. Fangs looked at his Sweet Pea, confusion and hurt in his expression. “Besides the fact, if I got in the picture it wouldn’t even be fair.” Sweet Pea added causing fangs to slap his hand away from his shoulder.

“I’m sorry?” Fangs crossed his arms over his chest. “What does that mean?” Sweet Pea sighed. “What does that mean?” Fangs repeated the question.

“Come on man, you’re not out there as much as I am.” Sweet Pea started, Fangs looked at him, his eyes widening. “And like anything, practice makes -”

“Perfect?” Fangs asked, his eyes glaring at Sweet Pea.

“No, no, no.” Sweet Pea waved his hands in front of him.

“You’re Perfect?” Fangs huffed, his back turning to his best friend.

“Maybe not perfect, but damn near close.” Sweet Pea huffed under his breath but Fangs heard it.

“Wow.” Fangs huffed, turning to his friend shaking his head, how could his best friend think he was better than him. Fangs’ eyes shifted to the window. “You don’t have to bow out because of me.” Fangs continued to stare out the window as Sweet Pea looked at him.

“I don’t?” He was confused, how couldn’t he be. Fangs turned to him and patted his shoulder.

“I’m not concerned that she’s going to fall in love with you, dude.” Fangs chuckled and Sweet Pea’s eyebrows scrunched.

“How very nice of you, thank you?” Sweet Pea gave Fangs a confused look as Fangs smiled at him.

“You’re welcome. So do your thing, whatever that is.” Fangs walked to his kitchen and opened his fridge and getting a coke. “And just, let her decide.” His eyes traveled to Sweet Pea who still stood in the living room.

“Sure.” Sweet Pea bit his lip, his hands resting on his hips.

“While we’re at it why don’t we put ground rules in, yeah?” Fangs walked to the living room before sitting on the couch.

“We should.” Sweet Pea nodded as he sat across from Fangs.

“One, I don’t think we should tell her we know each other.” Fangs started; his index finger pointed at Sweet Pea.

“Two, stay out of each other’s way.” Sweet Pea pointed back.

“Three.” Fangs scooted closer to the edge of the couch; his index finger still pointed at Sweet Pea. “No sex, we’re not going there.” Sweet Pea laughed, his back hitting the couch.

“God, you haven’t dated in a long time, have you?” Sweet Pea continued to laugh as Fangs rolled his eyes.

“And if this ever starts to affect our friendship.” Fangs sighed closing his eyes, he didn’t want to think about it but he had to.

“Which it won’t.” Sweet Pea sat straight up.

“Which it won’t.” Fangs repeated nodding his head. “Then we walk away.” Of course, his friendship with Sweet Pea was more important than any girl, he had known the boy for years.

“Done.” Sweet Pea clapped his hands together.

“So then, we have an agreement?” Fangs stood up, his hand extending to meet Sweet Pea’s.

“We have an agreement.” Sweet Pea smiled, taking Fangs’ hand as he stood up. “May the best man win.” Sweet Pea’s smile only grew.

“The best man for her.” Fangs clarified as they both retrieved their hands and crossed their arms over their chest, this was going to be one hell of a show.

______

forever tags; @bojabee @imperfect-circle @dakotapaigelove @a-gir1-has-n0-name @riverdalehoeeeeeee @sabertooth-potato @heyitscam99 @peterstarksstarker @royal-fanfic @vixengustin88 @lemondropirwin

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zayashmaya · 5 years

Text

Gamzee x Reader; SFW

You win a prize for Gamzee at a carnival.

@compositecreature i dedicate this to u and our brainstorming sessions

The starry night sky was all aglow with an endless sea of neon-lit stalls and a giant ferris wheel dominating the coastline. The boardwalk you currently strolled through with Gamzee was packed with people, creating a never-ending path of obstacles to maneuver around as you gripped his hand so you would not lose each other. You had just gotten off a particularly terrifying roller coaster, and you decided a nice, relaxing walk was needed to calm your nerves.

Except hanging out with Gamzee was always a crazy ride in of itself. You could never predict his strange moods or what excited him. The carnival trip was intended to lift his spirits and make him feel more at ease, yet at certain moments when he thought you were not paying attention, you could see his ever-present smile fall as he stared at the scenery before him.

This was a response you somewhat anticipated, and you certainly knew he would hide this side of him from you. Gamzee never liked to reminisce on the past, after all, always bottling up the unpleasant and throwing them out into the sea of his endless thoughts. You were working on that with him. Once in a while, he would humor you, reaching out for a bottle and popping it open for a quick gander. He didn’t always like what was inside.

You squeezed his hand to get his attention, and as quick as lightening that dopey smile returned when he looked down at you. “WhAt’S cOoKiNg AlL uP iN tHe AgEnDa FoR uS, mY gOoD sIs?”

“That depends on you,” you said. “I’ve been doing a lot of the leading so far. What do you wanna do?”

“I dIdN’t GeT mY tHiNk On MuCh FoR sOmE sUcH oPtIoNs, WhAt WiTh ThIs AlL bEiNg A hUmAn ThInG. aIn’T nOtHiN hErE mAkIn MuCh SeNsE. lIkE tHaT wEiRd MoThErFuCkEr — “ He pointed to what initially seemed like a silver statue, until the performer moved ever so slowly to change his pose while onlookers took photos. “WhAt ThE mOtHeRfUcK iS tHaT nOiSe? aIn’T nEvEr SeEn SuCh ShIt In My LiFe. ThAt BrOtHeR’s GoT hIs PaInT aLl Up AnD oN lIKe Me AnD pEoPlE aRe MakInG sTrAiGhT fOoLeRy OvEr HiM wItH aLl ThE pIcTuReTaKiNg."

You spent a good minute laughing at his genuine confusion as Gamzee glared at his source of discontentment. “I guess they didn’t have buskers on your planet?”

“NoT aNy ThAt gOt ThE mOtHeRfUcKiN gUmPtIoN tO bE mOcKiNg A mEsSiAhS-fEaRiN cLoWn.”

“This is just performance art, Gamzee. I promise he has no idea what the Messiahs even are.” You tugged on his hand to lead him away, offering him a bite of your cotton candy to appease him. He promptly devoured the sugary dessert, licking away the stickiness from his teeth. You eyes lingered on the motion for a little too long, and you quickly busied yourself with finding a new attraction.

The passivity of sitting in rides had lost its charm. It was time for something a little more active.

Your eyes settled on an old arch nemesis from your childhood — the water gun race. The stall’s cheery glowing lights and hoard of prizes mocked you, beckoning you onward as you set course for the game with renewed vigor. Gamzee obediently trailed after you, refusing to release his hold on your hand even as you sped in front of him. “WhAt’S gOt A fIrE lIt AlL uP aNd UnDeR yOu, SuGaR bUtT?”

You froze, a laugh rising out of you so fast you nearly choked on it. ”What did you call me?”

He smirked cheekily. “gOnNa KeEp EaTiNg aLl ThE wIcKeD pInK cLoUdS, gOnNa GeT hIt At WiTh sOmE sIcKnAsTy NiCkNaMeS.”

“Is that your way of telling me you want more?”

“hAhA yEaH bAbY pAsS tHaT gOoD sHiT rIgHt On OvEr HeRe.”

Gamzee effortlessly plucked the cotton candy cone from you after a very quick and one-sided skirmish, swinging his arm across your shoulders and patting your head condescendingly as he happily reaped the spoils of war. You poked his ribs in retaliation. “We’re gonna change things up a bit,” you explained, pointing to the stall. “Fancy a game with me?”

“Oh DaMn, YoU wAnNa GeT yOuR cHaLlEnGe On WiTh ThIs MoThErFuCkEr?” He leered down at you. “BeTtEr SqUaRe Up ReAl GoOd My FuNkY MoNkEy PoO, cAuSe YoU’rE gOnNa LoSe.”

“You’re really going all out with the nicknames tonight,” you snickered.

“OnE oF uS hAs GoTtA aLl uP aNd Do It, SiNcE yOu’Re A dRy AsS mOfO :o) "

“Oooh? Don’t be so sure of that, buggy boo.”

Gamzee's cocky grin faltered, and the tips of his ears flushed purple. He removed his arm from your shoulders, and you momentarily felt the loss before he took your hand once more and led you to the game stall.

Three children were preoccupied with aiming into the mouths of the clown targets, their freakishly gaping maws twisted up into mocking smiles. Gamzee took one look at the array of heads lined up against the wall and glanced at you with an incredulous expression. “yO tHeY gOt MoRe Of ThOsE pAiNtEd Up MoThErFuCkErS?”

“Yeah!” You sat on one of the stools, and Gamzee followed suit. “You have to shoot water into their mouths to fill up the balloons on their heads and make them explode. First person who does it gets a prize."

“hAhAhAhA wHaT tHe FuCk … “

While the booth operator collected money from you for the next round, Gamzee aimed his water gun with dramatic concentration, his tongue sticking out as he waited for the game to begin. You giggled quietly to yourself and positioned your gun, droning out the sound of the operator explaining how to play. This was your moment. You were finally going to win this stupid game, and claim a prize.

As soon as the bell rang, your water stream miraculously hit its target. You were too focused on keeping your position locked in place to listen to Gamzee curse and fumble with his gun, and you were trying your damnedest not to laugh as his water stream somehow wobbled like a snake in midair and completely missed its mark.

“ThIs ShIt iS sTrAiGhT uP oFfEnSiVeLy RiGgEd!”

“Don’t curse, there’s kids around,” you quipped back, and with the triumphant pop of your chosen clown’s balloon, you threw your arms up into the air and shouted, “Hell yes, motherfucker!”

The operator threw you an unamused look while you excitedly scanned the selection of stuffed toys.

And then you saw it. The perfect gift.

A lavender colored monkey with ridiculously long arms, and velcro stuck on the palms of its hands.

Gamzee chuckled at your choice as you hugged it tightly to your chest, trailing on after you as you continued to explore the carnival. “I’ve never won that game before,” you wistfully said, running your fingers through the incredibly soft fur of the plushie.

“DaNg, HoW’s A bRoThEr SuPpOsEd tO gEt HiS wIn On WhEn FaCeD wItH sOmE sUcH dEtErMiNaTiOn?”

“You never stood a chance,” you teased, and he pinched your cheek in retaliation. “It wasn’t so much about winning for my sake as it was about winning a prize for you.”

“FoR mE, bAbE?”

“Yep!” You stepped in front of him and wrapped the monkey’s arms around his neck, clasping its hands together to make them hold. Gamzee wordlessly held the plushie to his chest, staring down at it with an inscrutable expression. “It’s for your nightmares. Since I’m not always around, I figured maybe this could help you. You know. Like you could hold onto the motherfucker and all that jazz.”

He blinked at you, stupefied and unsure of how to react. You smiled warmly and made to move away, but he grasped your upper arm before you could turn. The monkey’s silly grin accosted your eyes as Gamzee leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. “tHaNkS,” he shyly murmured, and when your eyes met, you suddenly realized how close he was to your face. To your lips.

It could have been either one of you who made the first move. One way or another, you found yourself on your tiptoes and a hand curled into Gamzee’s shirt, his arm looped around your waist and the stuffed animal between you keeping you both from melting into each other.

Whatever you had expected your first kiss with Gamzee to be like was nothing like this. His lips were cool and smooth, moving gently against yours without a hint of teeth. Your tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip before the shriek of a child jolted you back into awareness — shit we’re still in public — and you reluctantly pulled away, your heart hammering in your chest and your cheeks flushed. Gamzee searched your face as he reached out to caress your cheek, the predatory look in his eyes a stark contrast to his boyish smile.

“Your mouth still tastes like cotton candy,” you blurted out.

“tHaT’s CuZ yOu’Re AlL tHiNkIn LiKe WiTh YoUr StOmAcH aNd NoT yOuR bRaIn. BuT yOu BeTtEr StArT tHiNkIn WiTh YoUr HeArT iF yOu WaNt MoRe Of ThAt TaStE.”

You hid your face in his chest while he chuckled. “You’re so corny,” you said, your words muffled by his shirt.

“yEaH i Am, GoT mE aLl StIfF lIkE a MoThAfUcKiN cOrN-oN-ThE-SlObBeRiN-cOb BeInG aLl CuTe AnD pReSsEd Up AgAiNsT mE aLl SuCh.”

“I knew you couldn’t resist being crass for a moment longer.”

“HaHaHa YoU kNoW iT, mY sWeEt SpAcE mOnKeY.”

“Stop teasing me, you … silly … stevia … “

“wEaK sAuCe.”

You planted a kiss on his grinning mouth to shut him up.

#i actually wrote something?????#can you BELIEVE???#gamzee makara #homestuck #gamzee/reader #gamzee x reader #oneshot #fanfic

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nayal8tr · 4 years

Text

HI TUMBLR FAM !

How is everyone doing so far this week ?? Ya girl is struggling with mentally keeping myself together rn because of finals 💀 stress is at an all time high , but it’s okay because once finals is over this week I have Sunday to look forward too !🤩🥳

Who’s ready for the next episode of killing eve , I certainly am ready to be stuck looking stupid at the screen for a hour ! 😭😍🙌🏾

Real shit , I really hope they make some type of official girlfriend claim or something in that nature because 👀 they can’t hype a bitch up like this to then have eve and villanelle not be a item after their first kiss last episode , which update I still can’t believe 1.) how early it is in the season for it to happen👀👏🏾😍 and 2.) How it came about PERIODT ... but spill your personal tea 🍵 on what you might think is gonna happen in the next episode between the two , I’m intrested to see what everyone is thinking ? 👀

Also I’m still mind blown with the fact the Carolyn didn’t die from this hit villanellehad on the accountant 🤔🧐 personally , it better make her think twice about trying to be shady towards people and appreciate those in her life . 🤦🏾‍♀️

Lastly , my boy Konstantin , he a shady mofo too ... karma needs to hurry up and drop kick his ass for a sec because not only is he choosing to ignore his kid but it feels like he’s tryna play both sides when it comes to who he works for.. 🧐 idk if some people feel differently about him but he needs to get his shit together no lie. 🤷🏾‍♀️

It’s only Wednesday and yet I feel like Sunday is taking it’s sweet time to come 😭🤦🏾‍♀️🙄. But let me know what everyone is feeling about this show so far and their favorite part during all this madness in the show !!

P.s - please stay safe and practice excellent personal hygiene everyone ( which I know everyone is 👏🏾💪🏽🔥) ... because the corona ain’t shit 🙄🤣💀

Till Sunday fam-a-lam 💕 !!

#killing eve s3 #we love to see it #ke spoilers #teatime #staysafe #lgbt #foodforthought #villaneve

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disegnidipizzo · 5 years

Photo

finally some decent refs for these two messes on legs/fins

the whole story under the cut, prepare bc i got carried away and i am not sorry about anything, at all, ever, in any circumstance.

SALVIA NUNARI

Salvia Nunari would rather tend for their forbidden plants garden than the troll grubs and would sneak out a lot to do her thing in the very dilapidated greenhouse their ancestor left behind, along with all the books on plants, herbal medicine and poisons (and some interesting things about jades). They know that jades Shouldn’t stray from their path but if their lusus taught them something, it’s that sometimes, you need to do things in the dark.

Considering that they’re a racoon, they also say a lot of things about finding solace in what one has left behind. It wasn’t about trash, but you got the gist. And they have a pope hat, but you don’t know what a pope is. Still, they look funny with it on. Like a monarch or a ruler of All Things Unwanted and Abandoned.

As they got more experienced, they started making new breeds of plants and crossbreeding some relatively harmless carnivores to create a poisonous/venomous strain, in the very faint hope that MAYBE they could be somewhat employed by the Empire. It wasn’t that much of a plan but. It worked. Sort of. When the baby plant opened its trap, Salvia got poisoned to death thanks to a bite to the neck. Turns out that the new strain can move rather effortlessly and quickly and that it consider food most things that move.

The first death allows em to ascend to rainbow drinker.

Follows a minor freak out due to “HOLY FUCK IM GLOWING HOW DO I TURN THIS OFF” and “I’m dead. I’m so dead im still alive.”

Conveniently, their ancestor’s Very Interesting Things About Jades handbook does contain info on rainbow drinkers and how to turn off the glow. Salvia doesn’t die twice for another day! Good thing it was all in the next chapter.

They had to hide the deathly wound lest being found out (and most likely culled in .5 seconds) before going back to the caverns, hence why they wear the neckpiece. It wasn’t really theirs in the first place, it was one of their ancestor’s ones that had gotten too small for them (but was kinda part of their uniform).

TIAMAT KIITCH

Tiamat Kiitch enjoyes being eccentric. When you rank so up high, it’s only fair to flaunt your taste, even if it’s not the most accepted by you signclassmates. Sucks to be them, not everybody can understand what it means to Really be a patron of the arts. Or of the artists. Maybe this is why everybody sees you as unfit for the imperial army and would rather shove you on a planet so that they can get some sensory relief. Because a Violet that supports so many painters, sculptors and even musicians of all classes, even below cerulean? Sacrilegious. Or maybe they really just don’t like it. Violets aren’t exactly social with one another. Call that a competitive environment, ay.

As her Departure Day to said planet of Thank God Sound Can’t Travel In The Void of Space, she has to make preparations. A whole sweep ahead is not too early. She’s going out with a bang, mofos.

Also, it’s only fair she would pick the best trolls to be part of her new, off planet hive estate staff. And she is NOT going to cheap out on the good stuff. Going full crew over here, from the doctors to cleaning staff and doctors for the cleaning stuff. Don’t worry, she can afford it.

And she goes to Personally pick the heads of each branch of people who work for her. Since jades make for the best doctors and caretakers, she pays a visit to a few caverns that have great reputation. Which is a good amount of them.

Among the (very few but very capable) jades that have been picked, she just had to have an eye for the one that has that something of mystery and secret but also that knows how to make medicine out of most plants (how did they learn?? Who cares, they can do that and i want them. Get in, we’re going off planet.). Also the one that looks like they’re up to Trouble.

And that’s where the problems begin.

The Actual Plot

Rainbow drinkers need blood, which is easy enough to get on Alternia, since trolls are canonically very violent as a species and all that. Just using dead bodies lying around is easy, there’s also the culled grubs in the caves that need disposing. Yes it sounds bad because feeding babies to carnivorous plants is objectively bad. Also, soil which contains troll blood/ is watered with troll blood is very good for most plants, but leads to fun mutations. Some of them are learning how to “talk” by opening their petals, leaves or traps. Not great conversation partners but you’ll take anything.

Life with Tiamat would mean increasing the chances of being found as a drinker and being culled, blood harder to find and less chances to experiment with herbology independently.

BUT staying wouldn't be better, as once they are cloistering age, they won't be able to even see their garden anymore.

You start to wonder if this is how your ancestor felt.

You also start to wonder how long has the violetblood been staring at yo-AFJDGN

When Tiamat has an eye out for something/someone, she gets super into observing them. From a distance at first, to understand how they work their magic. Not that she needs to, but she feels like a documentary worker. If she knew what those were.

During the picking process she was surprised by Salvia: despite being rather small, even for a midblood, they had fast reflexes and overall sharp senses, which kind of doesn’t sound right. The hivemaster and some hivemates described them as more aloof and not particularly outstanding outside of average efficiency.

Im realising this could be a disney channel vampire movie plot minus the violence.

They aren't scheduled for leaving for around a sweep, as the colony tiamat is gonna be overseeing will need time before its declared operative and ready for aristocracy to live in. This gives Salvia ample time to transfer books, notes and plant seeds/stems into more easy to carry media. Paper does take up a lot of space. It’s easy enough as books can be digitalised quickly. Technology is great.

More importantly, they need the SOIL. Which needs to be fertilised with special sauce. Which is blood. You decide to get a snack.

Now, you imagine being a fish lady that is following one of your most brilliant but most mysterious doctors around, only to find out they are a vampire and that they water the soil of their plants with troll blood. And that feeds dead grubs to the carnivores. (And that they look kinda cute while glowing in the dark and with a splorch of blood dripping down their lip wait what)

Now imagine hearing a gasp mixed with a glub and seeing your employer which could have you killed on the spot or kill you herself while you are in the middle of getting a snack with your plant and glow on.

Remember that Tiamat is a good 40 cms / one foot and a few inches taller (minus shoes). So you do the math that, even if you run, you won't have much and also run Where? If you fight? Might die. Neither? Also probably die.

So what happens is a very intense stare off. And i mean neither blink for a solid 2 minutes.

And then Tiamat, slightly intrigued of having a rainbow drinker (super rare and so unjustly or maybe not so unjustly feared) just goes. "So.. that’s your special sauce."

And Salvia just confesses, accepting a death that was gonna come anyways. This was a stupid plan.

But that death doesn't arrive, Tiamat could never kill or let die something so unique, so completely unruly and also potentially deadly that is by her side die on her. That is the embodiment of what she wishes to keep alive with her patronage, you think having a forbidden vampire scientist is out of the question? Nuh-uh. They are Gucci. So Gucci they’re Supreme.

With time the bond strengthens and they slowly go quadrant

Well, its a sometimes sorta vacillating quadrant but they are into each other.

They share half a brain cell each

That Gay Shit (tm)

The love part is mainly on Tiamat because hey, its intimate yknow? Being the only one knowing about something so personal. It escalates into giving salvia special treatment/privileges such as better meals, a small lab of their own, a supply of dead trolls to get the blood from (executed political dissidents or criminals but thats another story). Eventually it grows more to being about their personality and their knowledge but also a bit about how they can make an amputation go clean as a bottle of disinfectant, but they will forget to eat a bunch of times in a row.

Salvia does sorta reciprocate the red feelings, but at the same time they lean more on the blackrom side. Constantly making subtle remarks they havent tasted violet blood before. Sorta leaving thankful notes with a lipstick/bloodstain and a small caption of "wish this was yours <3<"

Also salvia purposelly red flirting in front of tiamat with other staff ("But i just thought they look cute :(( cant you see they look like a snacc ")

But theres also days in which the roles are reversed bc thats how fluctuating quadrants work!

During those days, Tiamat will be taking up a good chunk of extra space around Salvia, just as a reminder that she is not only above them on the hemospectrum, but also a whole lot taller and stronger. Also that she can take away those privileges. Temporarily. Unless they can earn them back.

On the other hand, Salvia in red is super affectionate, loves doing Tiamat's hair and makeup and letting her do the same. They leave occasional small kisses which are more like pecks or "hey feel my fangs".

So in short:

Red Salvia: the datemate that gives you a makeover in the morning, calls you "princess" and spoils you with gestures and cuddles.

Black Salvia: little shit, messes with your stuff, reminds you that you look delicious when alive.

Red Tiamat: spoils materially, gives plenty of time, shares meals and listens carefully to all that you have to say.

Black Tiamat: would keep you with the hanmibal mask on if she could, keeps you on your toes, stay in your place and be good.

#Fantrolls #homestuck #hiveswap #ocs #fantroll #salvia #tiamat #DDPdraws

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