#tho the chances of someone reading to the end of this are low

[vera-deville]

I Will Say (I'm in Love)

08/04/2023 - 04/30/2024

Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x Reader Word Count: 2,807 Warnings: A fair amount of cursing; Reader's outfit is a dress and is decidedly purple; Reader does go through a little bit of a mental breakdown (I personally blame all the stress of NRC), but I promise it's gonna be alright- Gender: AFAB Tags: @pyroxeene, @achy-boo, @savanaclaw1996, @otomyoli, @chroniccorvus Notes: This is the second part to this fic, so please check that out before reading this! Rook is basically a fairy godmother (even tho he's a stalker, but we don't talk about that). Oh, and I made a reference to Savanaclaw Rook, because he's been living in my head rent-free and thERE ARE NO FICS ABOUT IT DARN IT-

In which Y/N eventually does say that she's in love.

"Shit." Y/N hissed as she swung open the wardrobe door, only to reveal that there were no decent dresses.

"For fuck's sake!" The girl screeched, running her hands through her hair and yanking at it. Only the Great Seven could help her at this point. Did any of them specialize in luck with money? Or even better yet, did any of them specialize in stopping a person from splurging all their hard earnt bribed thaumarks on art supplies?

Grim wasn't even there to help with this whole fiasco!

Who else could she ask for money? Azul? No, that one's too slippery. Kalim? No, that one's guarded by a snake and talks too much. Vil? But that one's...

That one's perfect! He wouldn't be able to resist helping out someone to look fabulous! Besides, Y/N could handle potato insults for a bit if it meant getting a fabulous dress picked out by Vil Schoenheit himself.

And so the Prefect of Ramshackle ran as fast as her legs would carry her, all the way to the house of Pomefiore. It's a pretty name, filled with pretty people, but at this moment, only one pretty person mattered.

"VIIIILLLLL! I NEEEEEED YOUR HEEEELLLLLPPPP!"

That should grab his attention.

And grab his attention it did, because mere seconds later, a tall blonde stormed into the common room, vial of poison ready in his hand for the heathen that dared summon him in such a manner.

But before he could get a word in, Y/N asked, no begged him for help with a dress. And of course, him being the gracious queen he is, he couldn't leave the potato in such a state.

"Coral, though a nice color, would be far too bright for you for this event." Holding up a card of azure up to Y/N's shoulder, Vil decided that also would not do the trick. "Perhaps a glowy yellow brown?" Y/N perked at the fabric Vil held in his hands. It was just a small square piece of fabric, but it looked oh so pretty. Like sand glimmering in the sunlight.

And then suddenly the sun lit sand turned into purple.

A very familiar purple, though Y/N couldn't quite put her finger on it. Scrunching his face in contemplation, Vil nodded to himself before letting Y/N know that she should opt for a dress in that shade of lavender.

Which is how Y/N found herself in a shopping mall, looking high and low for a vaguely familiar shade of purple in a dress that she should have gotten ready long ago. Earlier, Y/N had pondered about who to bring with her (if she chose to bring anyone at all) to the mall to help her find just the right dress. Vil was the obvious choice, but Y/N wasn't sure she wanted to indulge in his kindness more than she already had. Rook was also a good choice, but Y/N didn't feel like admitting anything to him at the current moment (though knowing his nature, he probably already knew everything).

In the end, Y/N went by herself, not confident enough to bring anyone with her. In the hours she had to get ready for her event, Y/N had something of an epiphany. Anxiety was a bitch. No shade of purple seemed to match the shade card Vil had given her. And if she did find a dress in the color, the dress was not one she'd think herself beautiful in. In the off chance that she'd find a dress that was the right shade and style, Y/N would immediately go an try it on - only to despise the way it fit around her body.

This was now the 7th store that Y/N had walked into in hopes of finding the perfect lavender dress that eluded her grasps so.

And right off the bat, there was a beautiful dress. In the same shade Vil had instructed her to buy. In a style that made her heart pick up the pace because it was simply and utterly beautiful. Making a beeline towards the dress, Y/N gently ran her hands through the fabric. Good, it wasn't itchy. She pulled the dress to the side in such a way that she could see the back, but the dress still hung on the rack, and she could feel a heave of relief making its way through her lips. It was just right.

Her heart was racing now, and Y/N couldn't shake the grin off her face, and for once, she didn't even care. Speed-walking towards the dressing rooms, Y/N nearly threw open one of the stall's doors, and locked herself inside immediately. Hanging her purse on a hook, she stripped out her clothes and slipped the dress over her head and down her body.

Except it wasn't going down her body.

It was stuck at her hips.

With a gentle fury, Y/N pulled at the dress, trying to force the thing down her thighs.

It wasn't going down.

Looking back up at the mirror, as though it would be some sort of saving grace, she continued to try to pull the dress down, but no avail.

Eventually, she zeroed in on her eyes in the mirror, and that's when Y/N stopped for a brief moment. She took in her appearance. Dress half worn, frown embedded, sweat glistening, hair frenzied, shoes thrown in some corner, and worst of all: tears beginning to form.

In a moment of rash wrath, Y/N pulled the dress off her, and threw it against the mirror, letting the tears pour out her eyes as she hugged herself and turned away from the mirror.

It's like not a single thing would go her way and it was stupid, worrying this much over a dress, but that wasn't all there was to it. It wasn't just the dress. It was the event, the school, the people, it was the whole world she'd been dropped into.

Aware that she was still technically in a public setting and should maintain at least some semblance of decorum, Y/N kept her sobs and sniffles to herself.

Knock knock.

Whipping her head up, Y/N realized that an employee was knocking on the door, and sniffed once more. Wiping her eyes and her face and wearing the clothes and shoes she originally walked in with, she grabbed her purse and the damned lavender dress, plastered a smile on her face, and opened the door.

No need to burden others with her own burdens.

Except standing outside the door was no employee, but rather Rook Hunt.

Bewildered, Y/N rubbed her eyes again in hopes that she was hallucinating and wasn't actually seeing Rook Hunt right after she had an emotional breakdown.

Sadly, she was in fact seeing Rook Hunt after said emotional breakdown.

"What a magnificent coincidence my dear Trickster!" Rook said as he walked with Y/N out of the dressing rooms of the store.

"Uh, yeah, pretty cool coincidence Rook. What're you doing here?" Y/N asked, trying to move the focus away from her and on to Rook. If he noticed, he didn't make it known. He simply continued to prattle on about a new fashion line from a brand he liked.

The thing about Rook that Y/N enjoyed at this particular moment was how despite the fact that he was here to buy something for himself, he simply followed Y/N wherever she went while occasionally interrupting to ask if a particular garment would look good on him or not. (Y/N was sure he knew that it would look good on him, and that he simply wished to hear someone else say it).

It hadn't been too long since Y/N had returned the lavender dress she'd tried to wear to an employee at the store and had instead opted to accompany Rook to the store that had the new line he was looking for (as a change of pace of some sort). The store itself was very high-end, that much she could tell, and while she'd always had a rough suspicion that Rook was in fact secretly rich, him perusing through everything that caught his eye in the store (which was a lot) without bothering about the prices certainly cemented the suspicion in Y/N.

Mindlessly scanning her eyes through the aisles visible to her as she waited for Rook to emerge from his dressing room, Y/N scrunched her face as she remembered her dressing room incident from earlier. Even though she was feeling a lot better now, it didn't change the fact that she still had no dress, and was running out of time to get ready.

Bam!

The door smack open dramatically with an even more dramatic figure emerging from the depths within.

Rook actually looked really nice. He clearly had a good eye for these things, even if most of those things were taught to him by Vil. Apparently there was a time where Rook was in Savanaclaw, and was something of a diamond in the rough (Vil's words, not hers). Before Vil got used to Rook being...well, Rook, he had given him an atrocious bob cut in hopes of Rook finally leaving him alone.

Spoiler alert, it did not work. In fact, Rook embraced the haircut so much that he hasn't changed it since he first got it, and he certainly hasn't stopped his usual Rook self.

Personally, Y/N couldn't imagine Rook looking any different. But no matter how much she pestered either Rook or Vil for old photos of him from back in Savanaclaw, neither would budge (one because it was too hideous and the other because he simply found it fun to tease her).

"Trickster? Are you alright?" Rook asked Y/N who was lost in thought.

"Hmm?" Y/N hummed, snapping out of her thoughts. "Oh yeah, I'm alright. Sorry, I was just thinking about something." Doing a once-over of Rook, she said, "You look great."

Before she could get another word in, Rook slyly side-stepped her and made his way to some corner of the store not fully visible from where she was standing. Confused, Y/N tried leaning over to see where he'd gone, but when she couldn't see anything, she simply turned back and waited for him to come back.

He'd most probably seen something else he wanted to buy and was getting it.

Pulling out her phone, Y/N realized that she had less than an hour to get ready, and sighed. Still no dress. No completed hair or makeup. No nothing.

It was at this moment that Rook popped up in front of her face.

"There you are! Did you find something you wanted to try on-" Y/N asked when she looked at what Rook was holding in his hands.

It was a dress.

It was lavender in color.

It looked beautiful.

"I saw this dress, and I immediately thought that it would suit you so well! Hurry, go try it on~" Rook explained as he shoved Y/N towards the dressing room.

Sputtering, Y/N could only hold onto the dress thrust onto her arms as she was pushed by Rook. Once inside the room, she looked at the mirror.

Sigh.

Here we go again.

Tugging off her clothes, she pulled the dress over her figure with all the time she had.

Not looking at the mirror, she pulled the dress down her thighs. It went down just fine.

Huh.

Running her hands down the fabric and smoothening out any of the wrinkles in place, Y/N finally looked at her reflection. The dress was slightly loose, but not in a bad way. It gave her room to breathe. Besides, it'd probably shrink after she threw it in the wash. Y/N twirled around, watching the movement of the dress closely. It actually looked nice.

Hesitantly, Y/N brought her hand to the lock on the door and after taking in a deep breath, she opened it.

Rook was waiting patiently, and the look on his face when he saw her in the dress gave her some amount of confidence as she walked out.

"You look beautiful."

Y/N knew he wasn't lying. He'd never lie when it came to matters of beauty. But she also knew that he wasn't exaggerating. Rook, as dramatic and odd as he was, wasn't someone to exaggerate beauty. He simply spoke his mind, and that was something she respected about him.

"It certainly is a nice dress, but I can't pay for it Rook. I didn't bring enough." Y/N told him with a sad smile.

"Who said anything about you paying? I have already paid for the dress. All that you need to do is wear it!" Rook stated happily.

Despite being short of money most if not all the time, and bribing NRC's headmaster for payments (which in all honesty were well-deserved, taking into account all the work she did for him) amongst other things, Y/N had a certain respect for money. And a certain pride regarding money too. Especially when her friends were involved.

"Rook, I can't do that. This is way too expensive, and I'm not going to make you pay for it. I can't repay you, so I'm just not going to get this dress."

"Once again, Trickster, the dress has already been paid for. I didn't do this expecting you to pay me back, so don't worry about it, and just look like your prepossessing self."

Y/N could feel her eyes tear up again for the second time that day.

Before Rook could tell her to not ruin her face with tears, Y/N jumped him in a suffocating hug (one not unlike Floyd's infamous hugs) and thanked him profusely. Smiling, he looked down at her and wrapped her in an embrace of his own. She deserved much for everything she did around the school and more, and if this could be even a little helpful, he'd do it again.

"Now, now, don't cry Y/N." At the use of her name, she looked up at Rook's face. "You have something to attend, don't you? You can't do that if you're busy crying in a mall with me, now can you?"

Sniffing, Y/N nodded, and pulled back from Rook, wiping her tears away (luckily there weren't as much as before). "Did Vil tell you I was going on a date with Leona?" She asked.

"A date? With Leona!?" Rook exclaimed, much to Y/N's surprise. "I never thought I would see the day come!"

"Wait, so you didn't know?"

"My dear trickster, how could I have possibly known?"

With one more suspicious glance, Y/N dropped the subject.

"When is your date Trickster?"

"It's in less than an hour from now. Why?"

"And hour!? We have no time left." Rook cried out. Without missing a beat, he dragged Y/N with him out the store and to a salon that was just a few stores down. Sitting her down, he instructed an employee as to what to do with her (he was very particular when he told the employee to have the dress in perfect shape). For a second, he vaguely resembled Vil. This time, Y/N paid for the services herself, not taking no from Rook as an answer.

When all was said and done, Rook stood in front of Y/N, absorbing all the details, trying to figure out of it was all enough. A tiny bit of fuzz was on her shoulder, so he plucked it off smoothly before she could question anything.

"I-Thank you Rook. You have no idea how much this all means to me." Y/N told Rook.

"I would do anything for love to prevail *mon filou. And I would do even more for you." Rook told Y/N.

Smiling at Rook, she said, "You were right. I do like Leona. No, I love him. A lot. And by the looks of it, he likes me too!" Giving him one more hug, Y/N walked away, purse in hand, excited for her date with Leona.

"Ah, young love~ Whatever could be more beautiful?" Rook asked himself in a cheerful voice as he watched Ramshackle's Prefect walk off into the distance, one step at a time to her fairytale ending. Rook felt himself proud of reaching the mall just in time to help Y/N (her purse certainly helped in tracking her down).

That's two lovebirds he's helped today!

Turning back around and wandering through the mall, Rook wondered who he'd be helping next.

Author's Note: As you can see from the dates, I really took my time with this one. When I first started writing this last year, I was planning to write about Leona and Reader's date, or more specifically, how the date was arranged and all that fun stuff, but when I sat down to write today, it just went in a completely different direction. I've never really incorporated Rook into my writings (and if I did, he's there for like three sentences), but unpredictably, he ended up playing a larger role in this fanfic. If you'd like a third part to this where we find out about how Leona and Y/N even ended up agreeing to go on a date with each other, or perhaps we find out who Rook helped or is going to help, feel free to let me know!

Masterlist

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland oneshots #twst wonderland oneshots #twst oneshots #oneshots #romance #cute #friendship #best friend #friends #i won't say i'm in love #leona kingscholar #leona #kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #leona x reader #rook hunt #rook #hunt #rook hunt x reader #rook x reader #reader #y/n #you #vera deville #the marchioness #this took forever #vera's shenanigans

[spideypoolsupremacy]

One of my favorite tropes is 'tough murdery and dangerous guy being a sweetheart to kids' and Deadpool fits it really well (even if he doesn't present himself as 'scary tough dude' all the time, he can definitely be one in a heartbeat, if the situation calls it)

So, please let me introduce you to

✨️Deadpool and Honey Badger✨️

Marvel please I need more of them than these fun little cameos, I need a whole comic with at least 30 issues. AT LEAST

#deadpool #honey badger #gabby kinney #wade wilson #these are from All New Wolverine comic btw #how come the first time in ages I decide to read something that doesn't have deadpool in it DEADPOOL APPEARS #I love this duo so much they deserv more attention #GABBY deserves more attention #such a great and fun character #probably will hunt for more comics with her soon #unless someone can recomend me some #tho the chances of someone reading to the end of this are low #we can only hope

[fruitywritter]

Why do you have to be so stupid?

Summary: stupidity gets you killed. (Nearly)

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x gn!reader

Tw: mentions of past suicide attempt, injured reader

Words: 3.5k

a/n: This is my second work I’ve posted here, I had wrote this a few days ago and I decided to post it. Even tho nobody’s gonna read this, but hey if you’re a reader here. Hi! 🫶🏼🥹

The sky was dark, the moon and the stars were shining bright that night. I walked through the dark alley, feeling my blood running down my stomach. The mission didn’t go as planned. It seemed that they already knew I was coming, they were ready. I put on a good fight and got the flash drive, but it wasn’t enough for me to escape. The moment I heard the gunshots and felt a sharp pain on my body, I knew that I needed to leave. They were too many, I was only one. I couldn’t call for back up. Nobody from the team knew that I was going to that mission. Fury had said it was too dangerous for someone to go alone, he was planning on bringing the whole team there in a few days. But it would be too late in a few days. I knew it was a stupid decision, but I wanted to help the team. Even though the mission was a success, my chances to survive were very low. The bullet wounds al over my body looked serious.

Standing with my back against the wall, I tried to breathe. I had already lost a lot of blood, I was feeling so weak and my vision was blurry. That was it. That was the way I would die. Not by some heroic act, but because I was an idiot for having to go alone there without telling anyone. I started to think about my friends, back at the compound. The avengers had become my family. I thought about Tony and his sarcastic comments, I thought about what he would say if he saw me like this. Tony was like a father to me, the father I never had. I thought about Steve, that old man.. He would probably lecture me if he was here, telling me that I need to think before acting.

Bruce. We were never that close with the man but I’ve always respected him. He was a very clever guy, he had also saved me from many dumb injuries. Thor. I didn’t see him that often nowadays, he had go back to Asgard something about having to deal with his idiotic brother, Loki. He would always tell me stories about other planets and people he had met. I was closer to Clint from the other guys. I could say he was a great friend and very loyal to me as I was to him. He was a great spy, and he was usually the one I trained with.

Wanda would be probably mad at me if she saw me like this. She had scolded me many times, usually when I made dumb decisions like this one. But we loved each other, we were friends since day one. We were always by each other’s side. I didn’t want to leave her alone in this world, even though she had the rest of the team. I was the only closest person to her, as she had said many times before.

And Natasha… I slid down the wall, wincing as the bullets inside me moved. I clenched my fist as I pressed down on my biggest wound. I didn’t want Natasha to see me like this. Even though she was used to seeing people dying, I couldn’t do this to her. I didn’t want to die. Natasha was a closed person, only Clint and I were able to read her as an open book. I couldn’t leave her alone. I brought my hand to my neck, touching the necklace she had gave to me. A small golden spider was hanging from it, with her initials engraved on the back of it. It was a gift for my 23rd birthday. It was the best day of my life that day.

I started thinking about how things would be after my death. I guessed I still had a bit of time left. I used to want to end it all. In my teenage years. Back then it was hard for me. I had no one to call family. No friends. I was close to that railing, so close to my death. Ready to jump off, I was so done with my life. But she was the one who saw me, she was the one who ran up to me and tried to call me down so I wouldn’t jump. And she succeeded. She saved me from killing my own self. Natasha Romanoff, she saved my life. Many times. She was my person. And I loved her.

But now she couldn’t save me. Right know she thought that I was out for a simple walk. Eventually she would start to realise something was wrong after I was gone for hours. She would start looking for me, calling me, calling the team. Then they would all search for me, until they’d finally get the news that I was dead. All because I couldn’t stop being stupid.

Looking one more time up in the sky, I whispered softly more to myself. “I’m sorry..” Breathing out, I tried to find my peace but the universe had other plans. Footsteps were heard in the distance, every second it was louder until it reached in front of me. I tried to open my eyes, trying to figure out who was standing in front of me. When I felt soft hands on my face, I opened my mouth to speak but was stopped by a familiar voice speaking louder to someone in the distance. “I found her! She’s here, come help me.”

Finally, when my eyes focused again I recognised the person in front of me. Those familiar green eyes, and the familiar red hair made me smile a bit and whisper. “Hey, love..” I watched as her lips curled up in a soft smile, but her eyes remained worried. “Hey, sweetheart..”

I went to talk but a pain on my chest kept me from speaking. Natasha was quick to notice and she pressed her palm against my cheek, carefully caressing it. “Don’t speak too much, дорогой. We will get you out of here, just hang on..” She said as she pressed her lips to my forehead and turned around as more footsteps began to appear around us.

“The jet’s ready, we can get her inside now..” I heard Steve’s voice from my left. “Is she okay?” He asked Natasha.

“She will be when we get her home. Come on guys, we need to move.” Natasha said as she gave me a soft squeeze before she stood back up. “Damn it, y/n. When will you stop being stupid..” Hearing Clint’s voice made me feel so bad. They were all worried about me, they didn’t deserve what they were going through because of me. “I’m -I’m sorry..” I whispered but it was enough for the team to hear it.

“It’s okay, y/n.. You’re gonna be okay..” A soft hand landed gently on my shoulder, caressing it carefully. I looked up to see Wanda, looking down at me. I smiled at her as the guys came closer and pulled me up. I winced and grabbed Steve’s arm to get more steady as they walked me inside the jet.

The whole flight was a blur. I remember Natasha sitting beside the bed I was laying in, holding my hand the whole time. We didn’t talk much. They had stopped the bleeding but still I had lost a lot of blood so I had to be at the hospital asap. Clint was flighting the jet, while the others were in some conversation about the flash drive I had retrieved. Wanda was sitting close to me but away enough to give me and Natasha some privacy.

I wanted to close my eyes but Natasha didn’t let me. She would say dumb things to distract me from closing them. Even though she tried to mask her emotions, I could really see right through her. I’ve learned to read her over the years, I knew when she was anxious, sad, mad, annoyed and happy. Even now that she tried to mask her anxiety and fear, it didn’t work to me.

When we got there, they quickly took me inside and brought me to the doctors. I couldn’t remember what happened exactly next. I could hear Natasha talking to me but I couldn’t hear any word that escaped her mouth. My vision blurry and not being able to feel my legs. Then everything went black.

—

I woke up by a beeping sound, trying to focus my vision to the bright light of the room. When i did that, I slowly looked around. It looked like a hospital room, a small TV in front of me on the wall, on my left a window and a door on the other side of the room. I was laying in a bed, it was comfy but my body felt numb. I heard soft snores beside me and turned my head immediately towards the noise. I relaxed when I noticed the redhead sitting in a chair beside my hospital bed, sleeping in a clearly uncomfortable position.

I tried to move but everything felt so weird, so I tried to speak. After a few tries I finally got to speak softly, hoping to not scare the green eyed woman sleeping. “Tasha..” I spoke but she didn’t even stir. So I tried again a bit louder this time. “Natasha!” I whisper-yelled. As much as I didn’t want to wake her up, I couldn’t just sit there and watch her lay there so uncomfortably.

That’s when she finally woke up, she looked around clearly confused by who woke her up. When she found my eyes she relaxed and smiled. She sat upright and took my hands, “Glad you’re awake, моя любовь.. How are you feeling?” She asked.

“I don’t know.. I feel kind of numb. What happened?” I asked her, hoping for some information. Natasha sighed and began talking, “You passed out the moment we got you inside the hospital. You had lost so much blood, y/n.. If we were late a few minutes, you wouldn’t have survived.. Thankfully, the doctors took you in immediately, saying that you needed surgery.” She paused to see my expression. It didn’t scare me at all, I was glad that I was still there. I was thankful to the doctors who saved me. I couldn’t imagine the reactions of the team if they found out I was actually dead. “They took out the bullets from your body, seven bullets y/n.” She closed her eyes, trying to calm down herself.

“How long I was out..?” I couldn’t help but ask. Natasha looked so tired, like she hadn’t slept for days. “Six days. After the surgery the doctors said that they put you into a coma so that your body would recover properly. They weren’t sure when you were going to wake up.” She let my hands and stand up from the chair, walking towards the window of the room, looking down the busy street. “The team came to visit you, all of us hoping you would wake up. Clint and Wanda stayed for a few days but I told them to go back home, staying at the hospital isn’t really that great and sleeping in a chair is also uncomfortable..”

“But you stayed..” I whispered, my face suddenly getting sad. She was really a wreck because of me.

“Of course I stayed, why wouldn’t I? I wouldn’t leave you alone, y/n.” She turned back to look at me with that sad expression. Slowly walking towards me, she crouched down beside my side, her face at the same height as mine. “I’m glad you’re okay.. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

I smiled and mumbled, “I’m glad I’m okay too..” but the next thing I felt was a slight pain on my shoulder, looking at her eyes in disbelief I said, “Did you just punch me? What was that for?!”

“That was for being stupid, you dumb idiot. Why would you go there on your own, even when Fury said that it was incredibly dangerous for one person?” She said, clearly frustrated. “And I didn’t even hit you that hard, stop being a baby.”

“Ah, fuck of..” I shook my head but quickly regretted it as I saw Natasha’s face. The murderous look she gave me made me shut up and mumble a “sorry” to her. As silence surrounded us, I decided to look back towards her. “Look.. I’m sorry, I know what I did was stupid. And I’m so sorry I made you go through all of this, that wasn’t really my intention. The plan was to finish the mission and come back home, I didn’t know that things would get bad..”

“It’s okay, I’m just glad you’re alright now.” She sighed and moved to hug my side so softly as she was afraid to hurt me. I moved slowly my arm and pulled her more into the bed, making her lay there beside me. Natasha put her head on my chest, with her strong arms around my waist. We laid there for what seemed to be an eternity, just relaxing in the presence of each other’s. We made a small talk, with her telling me that I was in big trouble when we would go back to the compound. Something about Tony being extremely mad and talking about grounding me until I was thirty. I knew he couldn’t do that, and that really made me wanna laugh. He couldn’t really ground a twenty-five year old, but it would be fun to see him trying.

A few days later I got the okay to leave the hospital, and I was over the moon. I really hated hospitals, something about them made me want to go as far away as I could from them. But with the company of Natasha’s, it was a bit more enjoyable. Wanda had visited me while I was still at the hospital, we sat for hours and talked. She was also kinda mad about my idiotic actions, at first she wouldn’t talk to me but then she gave in. Natasha gave us time to catch up and brought us lunch when it was time. Clint sadly couldn’t visit, he had gone back to his family for a few days. But he promised to be back when I got back home.

The ride home was calming, Natasha was driving with Wanda on the passenger seat. I was sitting in the back, looking out the windows. I couldn’t exactly walk with my left foot. A bullet had caused a bit of a damage there, but I had started physical therapy to make it better. As my doctor said, I would be able to start training in a few weeks. The bullet hole in my chest also started to heal faster, the one on my abdomen was a little bit bigger and it still hurt when I walked. The doctor said I needed more rest so everything would full heal.

When we arrived at the compound, I noticed Steve waiting outside. Natasha parked the car and helped me get out from the back. As Steve went to take me from her in order to get me inside, she simply gave him a look and he backed up. I nodded towards him and continued walking with Natasha inside the building. Nobody else was there so I supposed the rest of the team was in some mission. As the red head helped me up to my room, Wanda passed by to ask us if we wanted something to eat. When we kindly declined, she left and Natasha set me into my bed. “Alright, I have to do something first. Can you wait for me? It won’t be long.” She said, tucking my injured leg in some pillows. I nodded and gave her a gentle smile as I watched her leave the room.

I reached the TV remote that was beside me on the nightstand, switching it on and selecting a movie to watch while Natasha was gone. It didn’t took her long to come back and when she finally came in she had in her hands many snacks and drinks. I looked at her mesmerised, my mouth was hanging open as I watched her come and sit beside me on the bed. “What’s all of this?” I asked, even though I knew.

“Snacks! I thought it would be less boring if we watched a movie and eat together until we have to go downstairs.” She said with excitement in her voice. While I was still in shock I laid there, don’t knowing what to say. “You’re staring..” She grinned, knowing she had caught me.

Shaking my head, I looked down at my hands suddenly getting nervous around her. Still after all these years she still had that effect on me. “How can I not? You’re perfect..” I said, finally looking over her face only to see her blush. “Awh, look at you. You’re blushing! I made the Black Widow blush!!” I grinned, throwing my fist in the air like I won.

“Shut up..” Natasha said, looking away. It never got old. I liked teasing her, she wanted everyone to think like she was a baddie but in reality she really was a softie. At least when she was with me. I smiled softly, making her look at me weirdly, “Why the fuck are you smiling?” She said, trying to look serious but she failed miserably. That only made me laugh more. “Seriously, y/n.”

I threw my hands up, like I was surrendering. “Okay, okay. Sorry, no need to give me that look.” My laugh had stopped by now and I was just grinning at her. “I was smiling because I’m happy. You make me so happy, Natasha.” I sighed, gently turning my body a bit so I could face her fully. I took her hands in mine, squeezing them slightly. “And I want to thank you. Thank you for being here the past few days, you never left my side and I’m thankful for that. Also I want to thank you for being with me every day for the past few years. You saved my life so many times, because of you I’m still here.” I watched as her eyes watered but she didn’t dare to speak so I continued. “You know I was in a place where there was no escape, I was so done with life. I didn’t have anyone by my side. No one to call my person, no one to talk to about my problems. But you Natasha, you came into my life and helped me to understand that life’s worth living. Damn it, you made me scared of death. You know how fucking scared I was in that alley? I had realised that I didn’t want to die, I didn’t want to leave you alone. I wanted to live, I wanted to stay here with you. I wanted us to keep having picnic dates, movie nights together, to spend time together doing absolutely nothing. I wanted us to keep sleeping together at night, to keep waking up together in the mornings. I wanted you to keep yelling at me whenever I made a stupid decision, to see your face when you were so mad at me for something so dumb. But more importantly I wanted to be able to see again that smile,” I motioned to her face. Tears spilling down her cheeks as she tried not to cry. I took a breath before speaking again. “Natasha Romanoff, you make me want to live. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I can’t believe that I can’t go a day without seeing those beautiful eyes. You mean everything to me and I don’t know how long it took me to realise it but I can say now that I’m literally so fucking in love with you.” I finished, softly looking at her.

“Love..” She paused as her voice broke. “I’m so in love with you too.. So much..” After hearing those words my heart jumped, I shot towards her taking her in my arms and holding her. I pulled away from the hug, catching her lips with mine, kissing her slowly with love. Honestly it was one of these moments where Natasha would be so comfortable with me that she let herself cry in front of me. Being vulnerable in front of me. And I loved that, not that she cried. But because she was comfortable enough to show her true self, she was open about her feelings.

Natasha Romanoff, was in love with me. And I was in love with her. And it only took for me to nearly die for us two to accept it and confess it to each other. But now, that all of this was over, that I was okay and alive with my girl beside me. I felt like I could win everything.

#natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff comfort #soft natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x you #black widow #natasha x reader

[noah-shin]

Popular yandere x reader

Warning: yandere themes, manipulation

Word count: 800

________♡________

Name: Silas Reynolds

Pronouns:he/him

Age: 19

Occupations: student

Likes: attention, you, sweet foods, late night walks

Yandere type:執着型

shuuchaku gata - obsession type

⌱⧼⊹ Yandere who has known you since high school for being in the same friend group.

Who never talked with you that much because you were apparel useless and thought of you as a background character.

⌱⧼⊹ Yandere who had girl's line at his door to fuck with him, not that he minded tho. Dripping with attention and compliments. More of a ladies man.

⌱⧼⊹ Yandere who didn't value you in his life until he did. He was saved by you after a very bad car crash. He might as well just think you as an angel sent from above in his daze

⌱⧼⊹ Yandere who couldn't just ignore how caring and worried you were for a not so friend like him and surprisingly it wasn't even pretentious(he didn't realize you were like that with everyone).

⌱⧼⊹ Yandere who thought you filled the void of an ideal lover in his heart. So beautiful, caring, kind and fragile just like a flower

⌱⧼⊹ Yandere who can read through you like a book but still can't figure out why he likes you. What hooked him up to you

I mean you're a very average girl living a simple life, well that's what he thought

Suddenly he will notice every simple thing you do, staring at you is his new hobby. Forget about anything else, his world actually revolves around you.

⌱⧼⊹ Yandere who notices how you h/c hair flows in the wind, how you smile at the silliest thing, how you just look so perfect. He's just so infatuated in your life spending all the time thinking and looking out for you

Not that you mind because you don't know someone is following you everywhere you go.

Yandere who would have a series of dreams of you just being there looking ethereal.

⌱⧼⊹ Yandere who will have thousand of pics of you and accessories you left behind. He will prevent anyone from causing harm to you and will change his playboyish tendencies.

He's no longer a low class playboy.He will change just to be the perfect lover for you.

⌱⧼⊹ Yandere who will try to pursue you to be his girlfriend knowing you will agree but you just straight up rejected.

Now that hurt his ego. Guess he will have to go to extreme levels to get you.

⌱⧼⊹ He's the type of yandere who will spread malicious rumors about you and your s/o to isolate you from everyone else. When you are the most vulnerable and lonely, he will just scoop you right in consoling you, expressing his undying love for you and saying how others don't know of your worth.

⌱⧼⊹ He is more patient with you than anyone else so that he can have a normal relationship with you. He will always try his best to impress you all the time. You liked that dress in that shop, be ready to get it before even the day ends. He's always ready to spend his money on you. He will do anything for you but the only thing he wants is your love.

⌱⧼⊹ He knows you will never love him as much as he loves you but it's okay, his love is enough for you two. He feels like he's in heaven when you praise him saying how much of a great lover he is and cuddles with him. He basically thrives on your attention.

⌱⧼⊹ Yandere who will smile at everyone and act normal with them when he's only thinking about you in his mind. Downright simping for you 24/7

Yandere who will get annoyed when someone talks shit about you but just reminds you to stop listening to them cz dogs will bark anyways.

⌱⧼⊹ Yandere who will put on a facade of being a loving person so that even if you try to leave him or run away, nobody will believe you.

Who in their right mind would even run away from someone like him?

⌱⧼⊹ Yandere who will use others to eliminate his rivals and useless people. He just doesn't like the idea of smearing his hand with the blood of filthy people.

Extremely manipulative and smart, there's a big chance you will never know about his unhinged thoughts about you, it's more peaceful if you don't.

Has a big god complex and is actually able to manipulate his s/o to maneuver his way into her life pretty easily. He will definitely marry you soon so that you can be his legally.

He craves for you

He want to own your heart, body, soul and hopes that you will be with him till death pull you both apart.

#yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere playboy #yandere #male yandere #yandere boy #yandere x oc #yandere x female reader #yandere x you #manipulation #dark theme #yandere oneshot #obsessive bf #obsessive love #irl yandere #yandere themes #yandere thoughts #oc x reader #oc headcanons #yandere drabble #yandere x reader #aestethic #tw obsessive behavior #obsessive aesthetic #stalker #stalking

[randomname3]

Okay SO

Saiki k dnd headcannons GO

Kaidou obviously is the one to try to get the group into it, and tried to run a session for them, tho secretly he is scared he gets stuck as the forever dm and wants to play a pc.

Saiki agrees to join eventually, he read about the game in a book once and thought it might be interesting. He rolls a human fighter and barely makes it through one session before he walks up to kaidou amd offers to dm in his place. And saiki realises very quickly that dnd is what he was missing; he cant get spoilers to a story no one knows how it would end, not even the writers. while he can read minds he cant always predict what his players will do(especially with nendo there). The game is almost like a low stakes competition against himself, both challenging his ability to think on his toes and to prepare for the unknown. The time it takes to prepare for a session gives him easy excuse he can use once a week to avoid hanging out with the group that they respect, but i feel like saiki isnt an over prep-er(might be projecting on that one) he is the type of dm to write a few paragraphs, have some loot ready and a map or two and trust his instincts to guide him through the session. After he kicks kaidou out kaidou rolls a dark elf sorcerer and they start their main campaign.

Nendo thinks its stupid and doesn't 100% gets what is rollplaying.but i feel like the moment the dm sets the scene nendo gets really into it tho he justs desribes what he would do, so he doesn't rly have a charachter. I feel like he has instinctual grasp of the rules and always tells the others what they need to roll, much to kaidous frustration.

Chiyo hears them talking about them and asks if she can join in, plays an elf druid and tries to romance all of kaidous charachter

Teruhashi will spend a few nights conducting research and finding the perfect balance between being a roleplayer and a munchkin (the perfect player). The game is very stressfull for the first few sessions but with time as she gets comfortable with her charachter the game is almost theraputic for her, a chance to be someone else and not the perfect girl, she ugly cried in the end of their first campaign.she never rolled natural one and handles most of the partys social interactions, occasionally saiki will use his powers to get her to roll low to keep things interesting.

#saiki k #the disastrous life of saiki k #kaidou shun #but it would be so cool #teruhashi kokomi #tdlosk #nendou riki #chiyo yumehara #oh god i want to write this fanfic #i probably wont #i did

[v3nusxsky]

I can’t lose you

*Authors note~ absolutely loving these prompts you guys are requesting. Loving conversing with all and learning more about how my writing is helping you all. It's my own therapy so I'm just glad it can at least bring joy to someone else. Read on my doves*

Tw~ self harm,Depression, Anxiety, trauma response

Prompt< prompt 1 (please talk to me) and prompt 72 (she's at the hospital. I don't know what happened) requested by the lovely idkaname666666 wattpad

It was bad again. You knew that. You should be happy now you know that too, but this dark cloud won't go away. You may get a small break in the clouded cover but it will always remain. Some days it would be light and opaque others it would be dark and thick. Today was the dark clouds. Thankfully you'd managed to survive your classes today, only now it was hitting you like a train. Which is how you were now curled up in front of the fire, skin exposed just numb. The scaring old and new littered your arms all in the different stages of healing. It seemed as if you were running out of skin that hadn't been marked by your own hand. Not only was it your arms , no it was your thighs and stomach too. Years of struggling tattooed on your body in a painful reminder. The dark days always with you.

Tears flowing freely yet no sound escaping you, your hands shook looking at what you had done. You really didn't mean to do so much. It was only meant to be just one. You always told yourself it was just one. But one turns into two and two into four. A never ending pattern. Even when you tried to stop, your body craves it. The stinging sensations present, reminding you of your subconscious need. Craving release that only could be sought from that action.

It's only the knock at your door that snaps you from your own thoughts. Fuck! How could you hide this? Who would be looking for you now? The school day ended over three hours ago. "Just one moment" you called out in a shaky voice quickly covering all your exposed skin. With a quick once over in the mirror and a wipe of any stray tears that still remained. You quickly opened the door just a crack and peaked through the gap. "L-la-Rissa?" You stuttered. She was the last person you thought would be looking for you. "May I?" She gestured to the door with her hand and you nodded moving aside numbly letting her in. You quickly shut the door and led her to sit in front of the dancing flames once more.

"Darling, I've noticed recently you seem a little low recently" you could tell by the worried glint in her eyes. "I'm fine Larissa" you mumbled looking anywhere but her eyes. "Y/n ? Please talk to me. I know something is wrong, even your students do darling." Tears clouded your eyes, your students knew? How? God you thought you'd done so well with hiding this. Apparently not tho.

Maybe it was a good thing that this happened, after all you finally got the chance to open up. Larissa was lovely. She sat and listened as you explained just what was happening. Held you as you cried. Her hands stroking through your hair, soothing words cocooning around you. Maybe just maybe you could see some light breaking through the cloud. Exhausted from your bad day you started to drift off in the taller women's strong embrace. Feeling safe and content for the first time in a long time.  You were gently carried to your room and placed into your bed which caused you to stir slightly at the movement. A whimper escaping your exhausted body when you lost the physical contact. "Hush my darling you're okay go back to sleep, just rest." She hummed out and you could've sworn you felt her lips ghosting your forehead. But maybe you imagined it in your exhausted state.

That was a few nights ago. And you'd had some good days following it. The good feelings lingering from the principals comforting actions. She hadn't mentioned it to you since that night, lingering gazes and gentle brushes of her hand against you as she passed you in the halls but no awkwardness at all. Something in her gaze had changed but you couldn't quite pinpoint it. Of course you'd wanted to talk to her about it, say thank you for comforting you through your bad day but you just couldn't bring yourself to doing it. Maybe that's why when it got bad again you couldn't go to her.

No instead you were once again on your own, back to your old comforting methods of coping. The comfort from the familiar pain grounding you. Numbing out the pain in your heart. Although this time, you'd gone too far. You didn't mean to of course. Normally you could control it. But not today. You were unable to stop yourself now. Tears flowing, mind running rampant as you  started slowly losing consciousness. Maybe just maybe this would be it. Your forever darkness.

Coach Vlad was a close friend of yours, and weekly you'd spend the evening catching up. After all you were still quite new to Nevermore, and you found it hard to make new friends. You and Vlad had been friends for years due to your families knowing eachother. He knew of your depression and anxiety. He knew you took medication to manage it. He also knew of your other coping mechanisms. Not ones he encouraged you to explore, but he also understood you couldn't stop. An addictive habit like that is extremely hard to control. But never in all the years of friendship you shared had he found you like this. Bleeding out, unconscious on the floor with tear stained cheeks. Instantly, his first aid training kicked in, checking for your breathing. It was there slow and shallow but there. On instinct he called it in, putting pressure on the self inflicted wounds waiting for the paramedics to arrive. Once they did and he handed you over to their care, he immediately left to find the one person he knew you'd want at your bedside. After all you had let on to him your feelings for the tall blonde, and she had let him in on her feelings. Neither of you brave enough to tell the other.

Rapid knocks hammered against the heavy mahogany doors, "Larissa , it's y/n!" He explained the emotion thick in his voice. After all his best friend had just been carted off bleeding out in front of his very eyes. "Y/n? Vlad what happened?" The concern and fear anchoring every word. "She's at the hospital. I don't know what happened. She's normally in control of it. She must have gone to far this time" the tears now plucking at his eyes. That was all it took for Larissa to rush past him like a hurricane intent on finding you.

Driving faster than she was sure was legal, Larissa made her way to the hospital. Panic causing her to function on adrenaline. What had Vlad meant gone to far? Why didn't you come to her. Why would you do this to your beautiful self? So many questions left unanswered as she burst into the hospital. "Y/n y/l where is she" her voiced boomed out startling the receptionist. "Room 37, principle Weems" she stuttered out at the blonde women's retreating form. Not even allowing the women to finish she stalked her way to room 37, driven by the pure need to just lay eyes on you.

Finding the room easily she peaked in at your unconscious form, arms bandaged up, monitors steadily beating. You were alive. Thank god. She entered the room quietly taking in the sight of you hooked up to many different machines. The rhythmic beating providing her with some reassurance. She came to your bed side and sank down in the chair. Only now processing what she'd been feeling, only now she knew you were at least alive. "Oh Y/n, my darling why didn't you come to me. I could've helped, I can't stand that you feel like this alone to the point you feel the need to do this. My darling I can't stand to see you this way." Her emotions causing the words to sound strangled as she whispered them to what she thought was your unconscious form. "I must confess I can't tell you when your awake, maybe I did you wouldn't be here now, but darling I well I love you. I can't lose you. So you must heal okay? Heal and come back to me so maybe I can spend the rest of my days showing you, you'll always have me" the tears falling from her eyes landing on your now joint hands. Her head dropped to rest against your hands just happy to feel your warmth, being extremely cautious of your bandages.

It was the weak squeeze you gave that had her upright in seconds, "Y/n? Your awake? Are you in any pain!? What can I do?" She panicked not sure what to do for the best. "Sit down Larissa" you tried to demand but it came out weak, causing you to cringe at your voice. How much blood had you lost this time? Your vision was blurry and you assumed the stinging in your arm was the fluid being pushed into your intervene-us drip. You were shocked when she did as asked. "I Larissa I'm sorry" you mumbled dumbly. Nothing you could say would help ease the pain you could see in her eyes. "Oh darling don't be sorry, it's okay. Just please come to me when you feel so low." You could tell by her voice she was sincere. "I'm sorry Rissa I didn't want to bother you..." you trailed off avoiding her gaze. You caused her so much pain it almost made you wish you'd not woken.

"Darling, I need you to really hear these words." She stated and you nodded in acknowledgment, "you aren't ever a bother to me, I promise you. I gosh this is harder than I thought, I love you Y/n..." this time it was Larissa avoiding your gaze, missing how the tears flowed down your cheeks. "You what?" You murmured quietly. "I love you Y/n I thought you'd died on me." The pain evident once more. "I I love you too" you whimpered out through your sobs. "Oh darling don't cry please don't cry" she faltered wishing to gather you in her arms but not wanting to hurt you. You shifted creating a space so she could curl around your broken body. She did so willingly stroking through your curls and dropping sweet little kisses to your head. Your body still exhausted from the ordeal it had suffered, you lay there blinking away the sleep that her ministrations we causing. "Hush darling just rest now, I have you Y/n. I love you darling please rest for me. I'll be here with you when you awake." She reassured you as you finally gave into the exhaustion.

Word count~ 1943

*Authors note~ this was very therapeutic but hard to write I tired to avoid too much detail but I hope I did the prompt some justice, filler post*

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #principal larissa weems #larissa weems #larissa x you #larissa weems x reader #larissa x reader #principal larissa weems x reader #weems #weems x reader #principal weems

[skulls-soul]

OK imagine with me Luigi is really sad, Bowser finds out that his friend is sad comes over to the Mario’s place mario is like “what the F are you doing here” Bowser is like “I’m here because Luigi is upset and he’s wallowing in his sorrow and none of my friends are allowed to do that” bowser with all of the strength that he could muster will ask as politely as he can to come inside Mario shock at bowsers politeness would end up allowing him in with a scoff

Bowser comes in checks on Luigi who is wrapped up in a blanket, eyes are puffy and glossy with bags underneath them, nose all red, dried tears on his cheek,  and he’s set up with his knees towards his chest as he tries and read the book that he’s holding.

Bowser ask him what’s wrong and I imagine Luigi is upset because his feelings for a certain bean Prince accidental he got revealed and he’s either hiding away from the prince not wanting to talk to him and confront him or finished talking to the Prince found out that the Prince still wants to be friends with Luigi which Luigi is more than happy to still have a friend but it still hurts to be officially rejected

And Bowser continues to have mixed emotions about the situation and you can go many ways with that like here’s an example



 example one: Bowser is currently struggling with trying to keep his feelings for Luigi platonic but after hearing this he can’t help to be a little relieved that nothing went with the bean prince but also ashamed because his friend is heartbroken and he’s over here being giddy like I have a chance

Example two: Bowser‘s upset that the bean Prince rejected Luigi but there’s a small hint of relief which confuses Bowser because he shouldn’t be relieved that his friend got rejected?!? He should be furious his friend deserves someone That can love and appreciate and hold him >:(

Either way Bowser tries his best to comfort his friend in which somehow leads to Luigi falling asleep cuddling bowser which leads Bowser to think oh shit I’m in love.

Sidenote: Luigi is definitely the type of person who would read a bunch of romance novels when he’s having his own romance problems. does that low-key kind of torture him because he’s reading about people falling in love  when his own love life is in shambles causing him to be a little bit more sad yes, but does it also kind of help because he gets to live by curiously through it all so yes, it’s like a double edged sword.

I think it was about time that my brain came up with hurt/comfort you know? Anyways if anyone decides to I don’t know make a fic about it👀 you should at me

@waifuconqueror yoooour luck 7 thank you for your participation FUN FACT I’m working on making this a full on fic it will be 2 one offs on from bowser pov and the other Luigi’s 😌

Tho if anyone reads and think “I have an idea on where to go with this and would like to make/post about it” then by all means go ahead just cuz I’m using The concept doesn’t mean you can’t make you own little add ons and stuff I love to see the many ways peoples minds go with thing

#bowser x luigi #bowser #bowuigi #bowser and luigi #luigi nintendo #bowigi #luigi #bowsers a simp #luigi needs a hug

[s1m0nth3swag]

Leon S. Kennedy X M!Reader

A little self indulgent fic, because Leon is my husband (real) (not clickbait) (we are cuddling on the couch as of writing this). Fluffy but I DEFINETLY have some silly nsfw indulgences with him :)

Fun fact a chainsaw actually went off while I wrote this so that is definetly a sign from the universe.

I changed some stuff about my layout etc for this one, but the spacing is a little weird for this one because I had to write it on another medium and not tumblr, since for some reason I couldn't save at some points. (tho i think i fixed it pretty well)

may or may not be a little rushed at the end because I got new scenarios for Leon and uhm!!! BIG need to write but I wanted to finish this one to properly introduce my new layout and stuff!

WARNINGS/ CONTENT INFO; Male Reader, Leon is a silly guy, mentions and describtions of alcoholism, lots of bumps and small issues because Leon doesn't know how to properly care for someone and neither does reader, Reader is mentioned to be younger & shorter than Leon and to not understand social cues at times, Vendetta to Death Island Leon (my favs <3), slight mention of Death, slipped my head cannon in here that Vendetta Leon was in a long depressive episode and actually got to heal some time before Death Island, soft angst because Reader thinks Leon is straight, slight themes of bullying (though its never said to be that), pretty long (surprised at myself for that), only like halfway proof read

When you met Leon for the first time you swore you'd dislike him. You had just recently started working as a DSO agent and were supposed to work under him for a while, because he was "a competent older agent" and "knew what he was doing". Yet there he was, hungover from last night, wishing he already had another bottle of literally whatever alcohol he could acquire. For a second, you believed that he was someone else, surely not the Leon Scott Kennedy you had only heard praises of, someone who was held over your head as role model during the gruesome training you had to go through. Not a chance this poor excuse of a DSO agent was the person you had been told to be like. He had looked at you, grumbled something under his breath, and then strutted into his office. He hadn't even paid you a second glance. You didn't know whether to be offended or glad about it. If he didn't like you, you'd get assigned to another DSO agent, someone who might actually look the part. Someone who wouldn't be such a lowlife as Leon seemed to be. You'd take that over Leon any day, you told yourself.

Nothing prepared you for what would actually happen. Sure, Leon seemed to absolutely hate that you had been assigned to him, but he didn't order for you to get assigned to someone else. He was pretty chill about literally everything, actually. You had been with him for about a week when you started to wonder why he wouldn't just let you go to another agent, especially since he made a point of continously telling you what you did wrong, and that you should just quit the job. A few times you almost snapped at him, almost demanded to know why he was being this difficult. You hadn't trained for months and months just to get told off by this drunken mistake of a guy. You couldn't though. Leon Scott Kennedy, as much as you hated it, was still your superior, and if you didn't want to get fired because you snapped at some stupid remarks. You wouldn't let yourself drop that low because of him. That'd be the worst way to lose the job you had worked so fucking hard for.

You could deal with it though.

And you would.

The first time you started hating Leon a little less was when you were practically baking in your office on a hot summers day. You had just recently gotten your own office, after having to share with Leon for a few weeks - you only now had worked up the status to have your own. However, your AC was positively broken. YOu guessed that was the only reason why you got this office, no one else would want to work in it, so give it to the stupid newbie who won't complain. You sat on your desk, looking through files while having your window wide open - luckily for you, the day was almost completely windless, no risk of government documents getting flown out like your life is some generic movie. You were melting, an honestly, the day couldn't get worse. At least ypu thought that until Leon strutted in. IN your mind, you let out an exhausted groan. After a night fully worked though, a whole day of sitting in the worst heat and multiple files already worked through, you really didn't want to deal with his bullshit as well. You gave the taller man the slightest glare, waiting for him to speak. Instead he placed a bowl on your desk, on top some file - you'd be mad about that later, as you figured out that it had left a stain.

Icecream.

He had brought you icecream.

Your expression turned into one of surprise and shock as you watched him simply leave - he didn't even tell you that you were working too slow or that you had more to do than just sit around. The first thought that came to mind was that he had poisened the sweet treat, but honestly you couldn't be bothered as you cooled yourself from the inside with it. It didn't help much, but the thought had been... weirdly sweet. Well, at least until you noticed the previously mentioned stain and cursed Leon again.

Screw him and his weird gestures which got you into trouble for getting government files dirty.

But at least you got cooled down a little.

The second time you knew that your feelings for your superior agent had changed was when the office held a party upon another agent returning from a particularly gruesome mission. You didn't know the agent's name, but apparently she was now a pretty big deal around the office. Most agents were getting drunk, having fun, and enjoying the opportunity of having a proper break for once - all of you were overworked, definitely. You had simply sat yourself in a corner, completely unused to how busy the office now seemed. Normally you were tucked back into your own, buried behind files and the dreams of soon going on your own mission and returning as a hero, not out and about with everyone. There were only a few people you actually spoke to, mostly superiors and some agents that graduated the together with you. Though, in your defense, you had enough friends outside of work. At least you thought so.

Leon had strutted into the party fashionably late, already somewhat drunk and looking way too disheveled. He normally looked like a wet kitten picked up and brought inside out of pity - now it was somehow worse than that. Messy hair, eyebags way too big, face just a little paler than he normally was. You figured he wasn't feeling too well, but still came to the party. Probably for the free booze. Still, you felt obligated to keep an eye on him, just to be safe. He was your superior, you couldn't just let him do stupid shit. It would put a bad light on you as well, and you simply couldn't have Leon put you in yet another spot of annoyance.

Most of the night went well. Leon didn't pull any shit, and you weren't spoken to by anyone, which was a huge plus to you, because looking after Leon was already like taking care of a toddler, and talking to someone would have made that task a lot harder. After a little more time though, Leon had caught onto your slight staring and confidently walked over to you, basically glaring you down. You carefully started writing your will in your head, because you were convinced he would kill you on the spot - or, even worse for you, get you fired by labeling you as some creep.

"Something on my face or what's got you staring like that?" He ruffly asks, looking down at you with an unreadable expression. You let a sigh slip from your lips. "No, sir. I just figured I'd have to watch you so you don't make a fool of yourself." You then answered. If you were going to be humiliated in public, you at least wouldn't go down without showing Leon what a hypocrite he was.

You were once again caught off-guard by him when he actually started chuckling at your words. It was a pleasant sound, you had to admit. Nice and deep, but not cold, a pretty inviting sound actually. You couldn't help but let the slight shock you felt show on your face, which made him let out a breathy laugh. "What, did ya think I'd be mad at that? You'll have to try better, kid." He then grins, walking off to leave you alone, completely and utterly confused.

Leon left the party with some other agent. A pretty, young woman.

Your stomach twisted as you watched him step out the door, an arm around her waist and a charming smile on his lips.

That night was the first time you couldn't sleep because of Leon Scott Kennedy.

The last time you felt awful about yourself because of Leon was when you were told you'd get your first solo mission. It had been a month or two after the office party. A month or two after you noticed that you maybe didn't hate him as much as you thought you did. A week after Leon had started taking care of himself again, gaining muscle and wearing suits to the office, which he hadn't done once in the time you knew him. Three days after you had figured out that you also weren't as straight as you thought you were. 

You were underprepared, wouldn't get the proper equipment, and the mission itself was total bullshit. The notes didn't make sense, the objective was way too random and you hadn't found any previous intel on anything mentioned in the file. It was like you were supposed to be confused by it, because everytime you even tried to ask someone about it, they'd simply give you an apologetic smile and went on about their day. 

You were convinced that this was a plot to have you die on a random mission, because you had been too annoying, or made too many mistakes. Something. Anything. It didn't make sense.

For some reason, you found yourself standing in front of Leons office at last. Totally not because you were going to beg someone for intel, and weirdly enough you’d be the least embarrassed if the person you were begging was Leon. You gathered the courage to actually knock on the glass door, already feeling slightly nervous and uneasy. You didn't know how he'd respond, if he'd call you stupid, or worse. Your already close to fragile mind wouldn't be able to take that after spending sleepless nights because of him. A deep breath, a muttered curse, and his door swiftly flying open before you could even properly knock. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are standing in front of my door— oh. It's you.” He spoke, all anger in his voice dissolving as he looked down at you, a complete nervous wreck. His tie was loose, he had probably been tugging on it,and his hair was a tad bit messy again. By now, that was actually weird for him, since he seemed to genuinely care for his appearance. “Sorry, I uh… I just got this mission and I'm uhm.. a little confused.” You muttered, an embarrassed flush creeping onto your cheeks as you gaze drifted to the floor - completely uncharacteristic for you, who normally stood your ground against him. Leon stared at you for a moment before he sighed and stepped aside to let you inside his office. He wordlessly took the folder with information, which you had been clutching onto for dear life, from you, swiftly looking through it, his expression growing more and more exhausted and angry. 

He'd say you're stupid. Definitely. He thought you were an absolute idiot. 

What you didn't think he'd do is let out a groan, open his office door, and yell out: “You lot are fucking assholes!”

You stared at him in disbelief, by now having taken a seat on the small couch that Leon had placed in his office some time between the party and you getting your own office. With absolutely no clue what was going on, you watched Leon step out, argue with someone - a female voice, as far as you could make out. You didn't exactly know what to do, especially since Leon hadn't told you a thing. You were simply sitting by, waiting for orders, getting yelled at, or fired - you didn't know what to expect either, if you were honest. 

When Leon returned, you had been picking at the skin of your fingers for a good five minutes or so. He closed his office door and strutted to his chair, swiftly falling into it with a heavy groan. 

“I'm sorry sir I just–” You started, interrupted by a dismissive wave. “There's no mission. It was a prank. I told them not to do it. Their reasoning was that you needed to get out of your office more and this would force you to talk to someone. They didn't plan ahead though, and simply told everyone that they'd give you a fake mission, without telling anyone what to say. I'm having her write an incident report about this. You can go home.” He simply spoke, leaning back in his chair as he looked at you. His words practically beat you down. 

A prank. 

A stupid fucking prank and you had gotten this upset over it. 

You stared at the floor, desperately trying to even begin to understand that stupid reason. You didn't like socializing. Simple as that. Leon didn't do it, but he didn't get pranked and laughed at for it. 

“She..?” You then asked, looking up at Leon. 

“That agent that we had the party for. She grew over her own head, thinking she could rule the office.” He shrugged as you got up. “Where are you going, kid?” Leon wondered, clearly a little confused by the look on your face. 

“Socializing.” You simply spoke, unsure of what you'd actually do. You were upset, angry… a lot more than that. You wanted to beat her, calmly tell her why what she did was wrong. A lot of conflicting emotions and thoughts. 

“Instead of chewing her face off, how about you just come over to mine later, and we drink our asses into oblivion?” Leon sighed. He had dealt with stuff like that before, surprisingly as it was. You didn't make it particularly easy for yourself, though, as you didn't even seem to notice when you were getting out of line. Hell, you stood up to his gruff demeanor without a second thought - maybe you were just a bit crazy. Maybe a little more than just a bit. 

That's how you ended up on the couch of Leon's living room instead, beer in hand, the TV on, Leon beside you with a respectable amount of space in between the two of you. His couch was comfortable, probably having been used for more than just a few years, as you could feel yourself slowly sinking into it while sipping your beer silently. Normally, you'd become more social when drinking. But normally, you weren't in your superiors' apartment. Nonetheless, a superior you had grown to realize you had a crush on. 

Thinking about it, it had been obvious, really. 

You don't think you've ever actually hated Leon. You just thought you did because you had actually felt like that for the first time in possibly years. A nervous glance over at Leon let you know that the other was focused On the TV, which stupidly led you to eye him cautiously, your gaze trailing along his face, jaw, neck… you felt a little weird when looking at him like this. He had pulled off his tie, his shirt slightly unbuttoned. Now that he wasn't wearing a blazer, you could see that his shirt was the tiniest bit too tight around his biceps - you swallowed harshly before forcing yourself to look away. 

Leon hadn't noticed how awkward you felt around him. He was already at his third beer himself, seemingly a routine for him. You, on the other hand, were still sipping the first half of your first. Soft concerns about Leon's alcohol consumption filled your mind, but it wasn't your place to judge or comment on it. It was overall known at the office that Leon struggled - he frequented the office therapist, but only to sit there in silence as he stared the poor guy down. He only went because it was mandatory for agents after an unfortunate accident, a story no one you asked would ever expand on. You figured you wouldn't want to know anyway. 

“You do know that the others pick on you constantly, right? There's a reason you have so many files.” Leon suddenly huffed, resting his head on his fist as he glanced over at you. You shrugged awkwardly. “I never noticed anything. I figured that… well, that everyone had so much work.” You mumbled. All this had been a bad idea. Definitely. This was stupid. Leon sighed your name, and it made a small shiver run down your back. He had used your first name, not the generic ‘Agent’, or simply your last name. It surprised you that he even knew your last name. You couldn't keep your cheeks from flushing. 

“Listen, I thought you'd get it yourself, you aren't the type to be this… I don't know, obedient?” The older agent grumbled, shaking his head softly. You could only watch his soft strands of hair shake, wondering if they'd feel the way they looked. It took you a moment to realize his words. 

A little dumbfounded, you asked him to explain what he meant by that. He didn't think you were ‘obedient’? Was that a good thing? Seeing as how your job was quite literally all about following orders, you feared that it might not be. Leon struggled to find the words to properly explain what he meant. “Like.. You stand up for yourself. Always, no matter what. It just.. feels weird to see you like.. like you can't take care of yourself? You normally speak your mind, but at the same time you're scared of not following everything to standard. You're.. weird, honestly. I don't mean that in a bad way, particularly.” He shrugged, and it was noticeable that he also didn't know how to deal with this. The two of you sat in silence for a moment. 

“I don't notice.” You then mumble, taking a sip from your beer. Leon looks at you in confusion, so you clarify. “When I'm being harsh, or mean, or whatever. I don't notice. I speak my mind because I never got told that that was a bad thing at times. I guess I learned from childhood that most people don't appreciate it when I simply tell them that their life decisions statistically suck, but it never sticks.” The soft shrug that you add at the end earns you a chuckle from Leon. A sound you grew to appreciate more than anything. “Is that why you don't talk to people?” He asks, nudging your knee with his foot playfully - this is probably the most relaxed you've ever seen him. “I do talk to people.” You grumble, a soft pout on your lips. “Just not coworkers.” Leon chuckles again. If you could, you'd bottle the sound and replay it forever. There's a soft silence again, but this time, you are oddly aware of the fact that Leon is looking at you, almost the same way you were beforehand. You feel the sudden urge to chug your beer in one go. 

"I really want to help you, kid." The older agent then sighs, shaking his head softly while getting up to go get himself another beer. "Surprising, I thought you wanted me gone." You huffed. The alcohol had probably loosened your tongue, and you didn't want to have to wonder about Leons actions anymore. One day he'd be nice to you, and then the next he'd glare at you like he was on a murder spree. It was confusing. He claimed to want to help you, but never actually did anything, it seems. You desperately wanted answers - partly because it would probably help you deal with the definitely improper feelings for Leon. He only stared at you for a moment, before sighing again and shortly leaving the room. You had fucked up, hadn't you? You made him uncomfortable or something.

"I don't.. want you to leave. Not fully, anyway." Leon hummed as he walked back into the living room, a glass in his hand. You guessed he had gotten something stronger than a simple beer. "This job ruins people. I mean, you know how I acted when you first got into the office. I was actually the reason that the whole therapist rule was put up..." He chuckles awkwardly as he moves to sit beside you again. You nervously notice that he's sitting closer than before. "I was forced into this, you chose it. And seriously, it's a stupid choice. This job gets you killed, brutaly so. It doesn't even have to be a Bioterrorist mission, every other one is awful as well." He explains, running a hand through his hair after taking a quite big sip from his glass. You're reminded of your beer, so you take a sip as well. You aren't quite sure what to say, you don't think you have a valid reason for your choice either. "The fact that you don't understand how to... well.. properly act doesn't help that either." He mutters, looking at you expectantly. A soft shrug is all you can muster up, still trying to think of the words to bring your point across - if you even had an actual point. Some silent moments passed. "I guess I just always wanted to be.. a hero.. of sorts." You then mumbled awkwardly. "The stories we were told of you were just a way to get me even more determined and well.. now it's too late to quit. I didn't go through all that just to go work in some coffee shop." You added, looking at the other cautiously. You weren't sure if he'd like your answer, even though it was mostly how you truly felt. Leon simply nodded as you spoke. “Yeah, I can respect that.” He then answers, another blanket of silence enveloping the two of you. Both of you sip at your respective drinks, caught in your thoughts for a moment. 

“You got yourself together though, didn't you?” You then asked, unsure if the question would cross a line. The way Leon looked just a few months ago came to mind, the imagery of a wet kitten. The drunkard you had ‘despised’. Leon thought for a moment, a soft hum coming from him as he weighed his response. “I guess I did.” He then shrugged. “A friend of mine made me realize that I couldn't sulk around forever. That I had to keep going, even though it was hard.” Leon added. You watched as he downed his drink and set the glass down on the small table in front the couch. It reminded you of how awkward this situation actually was. Alone with your superior in his apartment, drinking alcohol all because you couldn't properly socialize with the rest of your coworkers. A bit ironic, actually. The only person you could talk to was the man that made you realize you were into guys. You huffed at that realization, slightly staring at Leon, who was apparently zoned out a little. The alcohol was getting to your head properly now - you'd always been somewhat of a lightweight - and you couldn't help but sigh as a strand of hair fell into Leons face, reaching out to brush it behind his ear again. The second your fingers made contact with the soft skin of his cheek you pulled back again, awkwardly aware of how weird that just was. Your cheeks flushed a deep red as Leon shot up to look at you, caught off-guard by the sudden touch. “Your uhm.. I just wanted to fix your hair. Sorry.” You mumbled, looking away from the older man in embarrassment. Neither of you said anything for a moment - it wasn't helping your state that this silence wasn't as pleasant as the others had been - and you already thought of the way Leon would tell you to leave. 

Instead, you heard Leon chuckle as he gently took your chin to turn your head back towards him. "You could've just said that you wanted to touch me." He grins, awfully close to you. Your brain malfunctions for a second. "Come on, it's fine." The other adds, and you can form enough of a thought to carefully brush the hair out his face. His bright blue eyes dug into yours - your heart stopped for a second - before you pushed away slightly. This was crossing a line, no matter how much you wanted to be close to Leon, you wouldn't have it like this. He was probably just drunk and acting stupid. There was no way he'd ever actually be interested in you, in any way, shape, or form. Hell, Leon probably wasn't into men at all - a thought quickly dismantled as Leon suddenly leaned towards you and pressed a kiss against your lips. You were too shocked to react, simply jerked away as the abrupt action wasn't what you had ever thought would happen. "Shit. I'm sorry, I read that wrong didn't I?" Leon immediatly says, his expression showing that he hadn't meant to do anything you didn't want. "I just- I didn't think you'd... be into guys..? Let alone me." You spoke hastily, not wanting him to feel bad - not when inside you were fireworks going off. "I'm not, usually. You're just.. different. Only had this one time before and well that was... ended prematurely." He chuckled awkwardly. "I'm willing to try though, with you. Only if you want to though, of course. I'm not forcing you or anything, I now realise that's awful to say when I'm literally your superior and you probably will feel pressured-" Leon starts rambling, running a hand through his hair. It was actually kinda cute to see him like this, somewhat panicked because he wants to make sure that you know he doesn't want you to be uncomfortable. "It's fine. If you're actually willing to, I'd uhm.. I'd really love to try." You answer, your voice just slightly higher than usually because of how nervous you are. "You are?" Leon asks, just to make sure. A huge grin spreads on his lips as soon as you nod. "Really?" He asks again, excitement clear in his voice. "Really." You answer after clearing your throat. You want to jump up and down in excitement, scream out loud, literally whatever, because you're genuinely on the verge of getting to date Leon. You're caught off guard when Leon stands up, pulling you off the couch as well. You were painfully reminded of the fact that he was taller than you as you stood right in front of him, looking up. Your face flushed when Leon cupped your cheek with his hand. "Would you like to be my boyfriend?" He asked softly, almost as if he was scared that your answer could be anything but a clear yes. "Yes. Definitely. I really want to be your boyfriend." You answer.

Leon kisses you, and you swear it's the best you've ever felt.

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon resident evil #leon vendetta #leon death island #leon x you #leon x reader #male reader #x male reader

[brandwhorestarscream]

KO is my favorite. Im so sorry. KO being an unknown half cryptoid is funny. It would explain his deviance from the doorwings of similar cybertronians tho. Even if it's either a Velocitronian thing to have wheels instead or if it's his Seeker heritage messing with his frame; who knows? I imagine as a doctor his own biology probably messes with his.

And on board the Nemesis? SS gives a lot of body cues to his feelings, and KO for some reason can read them? How? What is this sorcery? Even better, SS ends up hissing as a warning, only for KO to respond back; surprising both into a very heated discussion of with was that?

Assuming KOBD were on earth before being called to the Nemesis... imagine the crap BD goes through, dealing with KO. Like,

"Wdym you wanna hang upside down from the cliff. KO it'll scratch your finish! You hate that!"

"IK. But I wanna."

Or even just casually disappearing when in a dark enough area, or a red enough backdrop. KO doesn't have the full force invisibility, but his chromatoids can still let him do light camouflage, without him even noticing. Imagine KOBD camping in a red sands cave, and BD waking up to find he can't see his husband. That'd be hilarious.

Or on board the Nemesis again;

"KO. You can't produce a numbing agent. That's not possible."

"OH. But I CAN."

It would explain his fangs. I love him too much.

Oooh this is all so good! Especially him going low-visibility in the right context. Breakdown freaks out the first time it happens, thinks he's going crazy or some shit. Nearly jumps out of his armor when Knockout's very nearly invisible servo touches his arm. He's a little chameleon 💖

Usually seeker venom is a lot more potent than just causing some mild numbing, but that's perfect for Knockout. He rarely uses it though, even after finding out he has it, because spitting on people is unsophisticated and uncouth! He would never, he refuses 😤 unless of course it's a dire situation or he's torturing someone, then maybe 🤭

If he ever happens to walk in on Starscream asleep, he pesters him about how. Seekers have magnetic thrusters that make it easy to attach to the ceiling, and since they're dangling in free space there's no chance of scratches. Knockout wants to do it, too: the instinctual desire is there but he's weary of scratches or dings.

#cryptid seekers au #but now add knockout! #half seeker knockout

[broodwolf221]

Happy Friday! For DADWC, how about "severely wounded during battle" for Varric/Solas? 👀

okay so this is a post-trespasser fic that’s very loosely inspired by a scene from the missing (which tbf i have Not read). shouldn’t spoil anything tho. working off the idea of a slowly developing relationship for them that hasn't quite become established yet @dadrunkwriting 698 words cws: gut wound; enemy death; no other character death

Shit. How’d he always end up in these messes? His hand was pressed against the hole in his gut and he was just… wishing that Cassandra had come with him. She’d needed to look after the new Seekers, though. He understood. It was selfish to want her to drop everything, but he rather thought he was allowed to be selfish in the privacy of his own mind while he was dying.

Not really the way he thought he’d end up going, either. Solas might have killed him, but this? Some random Venatori? This was just a sad way to go.

The Venatori was dead. It was a cold comfort, but he supposed there was some small pride to be had in that. The man had run Varric through, but Bianca had cored right through him. Fuck. Bianca. He supposed he should try to destroy the crossbow, wary of letting it fall into enemy hands, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Partly because he was exhausted on account of bleeding out, sure, but also because he couldn’t.

It didn’t hurt much, at least. He knew it should and it scared him that it didn’t, but at the same time he was grateful. If he had to go, at least he could go with some kind of peace.

He heard something and opened his eyes – when had they closed? – blearily watching someone approach. He figured it was another Venatori, but the armor didn’t quite make sense. But he couldn’t focus enough to figure out who it was, not until he crouched in front of him.

Bald, pointy ears, a gentle expression… “Solas?” He rasped, the other man smiling faintly and nodding.

“Shush, my friend.” He wanted to question that, wanted to protest. Who was Solas to be calling him friend, after having abandoned them all? But he didn’t have the strength to argue. Besides, it was kind of… nice. “Let me take care of you.” Sure, that sounded good.

Things were blurry, then, and if asked he wouldn’t have been able to say how much time had passed. All he knew was that he eventually opened his eyes and saw Solas seated cross-legged before him, looking somewhat drained but otherwise normal. Aside from his fucking armor. What kind of mage wore shit like that?

It took Varric too long to realize that his hand had been moved aside, that the hole in him had been patched. It still ached horribly, but it wasn’t bleeding anymore. “Am I…?”

“Going to live?” Solas finished for him, with that same, gentle smile. “Yes, Varric. You’ll go on to write many more books.”

“Hey, Solas?” The other man made a low, encouraging noise. “What the fuck?” For a moment there was absolute silence, then Solas laughed, bright and loud. Clearly Varric had startled him, but Solas had startled him right back. Shit. “Gonna give me a heart attack after all your work…” he grumbled, but he was smiling as Solas’ laughter slowly subsided. Eventually the other man settled down, his countenance becoming a little more somber.

“I can’t answer your questions, my friend.”

“I know,” he said, and he did. He knew how this was going to go. And he wasn’t really in any position to prevent it. “You’ll leave again, won’t you?” Solas nodded.

“And you need to stop pursuing me,” he insisted. “It’s too dangerous.” Varric snorted.

“Like letting you tear the world apart is safer? Sorry, Chuckles, but you’re stuck with me.” Solas sighed and Varric grinned, but he didn’t feel it. “Did you really think I’d just pack up and go home?”

“One must have hope…” he trailed off, apparently unable to keep up the back and forth. Or unwilling. “I do not wish for you to die, Varric. You should go back to Kirkwall, live your life in full. Stop pursuing me.”

“Not a chance.” Solas stared at him for long moments, then sighed again before rising.

“You’re healed enough. Rest for the day, you’ll be safe here. And please, reconsider. You will gain nothing by following me.” With that, he turned and left.

As soon as his footsteps faded, Varric levered himself upright with a grunt and followed.

#dadw time #broodwrites #solarric #solas #varric tethras

[patriciaisaisa]

my thoughts on synecdoche new york, contains spoilers, and it all relates to me, my life experiences. its not the "correct" interpretation, the "studied" interpretation of anything. tho i dont believe there is a correct one. this is all very subjective. all that i read and watch leads me back to my life. this is no exception.

it took me a few hours maybe a day to realize what it was exactly, to pinpoint why kaufman had reached his hands inside my chest. what paths did he use. i realized, this representation of life feels as panicked and as suffocating as my life feels to me. from the time passing so fast and unnoticeably, to the mystery illness and no answers from doctors on what is gonna happen, to all the relationships, to the trying to understand other people, to houses on fire, untamed minds, to outside perspectives of the self, to dying and awareness of it aproaching until the cold death itself, not merciful, no that would be too good. just death. ending. cease of existence. doesn't solve anything, doesnt bring on any problems. it simply is. all these making for an absolutely unbearable time alive.

one of the things that kept nagging at me was the constant renaming of the play. he kept trying up to the last moments, to try and rewrite it. convinced that maybe this time it will work. maybe this time he will get to show it to the public. maybe this time I'll know how to live, the other ways havent worked but this one surely will. I'll make it right, I'll make it true, i swear i can make it good. if you just give me some more time. don't kill me off yet i swear i can do better. only for the film to end just as he thought of another way to write it. you dont get unlimited chances. he died without achieving it. because of course there is no "right way" there is no perfect title, no perfectly written play, there is no perfection in the act of living life. you can't keep chasing something that doesn't exist, but you can't help but do it anyways. because what else are you gonna do?

the house cleaning caden insists on doing, a source of a certain kind of comfort for him, it feels all too familiar, not in a literal sense nothing here is literal is it? its a fucking poem. the way i can never let go of people. the way i constantly dive inside my mind and take residence in the memories of people that i no longer have in my life or i still do but the circumstances have changed. i always go back to the places we went. there's much comfort in living in the past when you cannot handle the future. i would say it is not recommended though. seeing as living your life inside your head might be a tad unhealthy. and yet i keep doing it. i keep picking at the same wounds. i can't help myself. i am right where people leave me. i never move on. i am right there.

that also ties into the hiring of an actor to play himself. the actor has followed him his whole life. i thought of it as a sort of mask, something that was always inside of you and that you are finally going to let come out and play, live your life for you. a little deception to make it easier. but also the constant reliving of just lived scenarios is enough to send someone spiraling. it feels like a desperate attempt at understanding. understanding other people and their reactions, understanding yourself and why you say certain things, why you act the way you do, where you went wrong. this sort of mental nitpicking i also need to quit. but it all comes from confusion. all this is just desperate confusion. this attempt, however misguided, of trying to understand other people, to make sense of life. this feels all too familiar. it's just perfect, he is pathetic and sick and dying, just like me.

in the end the complete relinquishing of control, a bittersweet act. something i wish to do as well. to no longer be weighed down by the burden of existence but still alive, at the low low price of handing over your free will. a price i am not willing to pay. at least not yet. after that his life seems restful? he looks miserable but he has looked miserable the whole time. it's boring i guess? that's the bad part? life is fun because it is insane. is it worth it to give that up for calmness? for peace? he's not happy, he simply is. but it does seem he might have reached either a deep level of contentment or he has simply given up. why the two look so similar to me i dont know. might be that i cannot imagine an end to all of this. to be content and no longer strive for anything is terrifying. a certain kind of death to me. just like giving up.

after watching this film it has immediately jumped to be my favorite. i could keep writing about this for days but i do have other shit to do unfortunately

#spilled words #journal #on self #synecdoche new york #charlie kaufman

[scarredhag]

This is gonna be long but I need to write this down. If you're gonna read it, I appreciate you. If not, it's fine too. I love this show so much my brain is gonna explode.

I guess it's just me who thought about how Warrior Nun literally portrays different types/levels of spirituality. And as a person who used to be up there, I just need to take this out of my brain. Excuse my writing if it's a little janky.

Mother Superion. I guess we can call her the leader of the nuns. She's the head, the foundation that you can physically touch and see. She's the leader that has been through it all. In Season 2 Episode 6, how the Halo rejected her has finally been shown. Her ego got into her head and it punished her by the Halo rejecting her. And as someone who thought you're worthy, that must've been cruel for her. That scene felt close to home. At the start of Season 1, it was clear how bitter she felt towards Ava, the new Halo bearer. Mother Superion thought of herself highly, and being rejected by the Halo really taught her to be a humble leader. I just adore how her story is written. I love how her story is told because I've seen this through my spiritual leaders too. We think leaders got it easy, but they've been through it all too. They've felt the highs (her feeling the power of the Halo within her) and the lows (her being rejected of what's been given her). But despite of it all, they remain strong and their foundation is still God. They remain faithful. Mother Superion showed that by the end of Season 1 and the rest of Season 2.

Ava Silva. She's the person who isn't religious at all. Ava had been paralyzed basically her whole life. I mean, how will she even believe in God? But God has His own reason and chose Ava to be the new Halo bearer. She became like one of those new believers. She didn't know how to handle the responsibility since she hasn't even lived her life yet. But what's amazing about Ava's story is how she found purpose in life. She didn't believe in God, but despite of not having that kind of faith, the unfortunate things happening in the world was enough for her to live what's been given her. She's not a super religious person at all, but she's thankful enough and understood there's a reason why God gave her a second chance. I love how her story is written because it is the literal journey of an unbeliever who found faith. From joking about religion to finding out that there's something more in it.

Sister Lilith. Lilith is a believer. She has faith in God as much as the others have faith in Him. But Lilith is that type of spiritual person who is easily shaken. Any little unfortunate events, her faith will start dwindling. I used to be like her. In the start of Season 1, she was supposed to be the next Halo bearer, but the plan needed of a change and it became Ava. Lilith was excited to be the Halo bearer because she's been preparing for it for so long. God has His reason for it to not be her but sometimes, you just can't accept it that easy. Because of that, she became unsteady, doubtful of what God has in store for her. Since the Halo isn't for her anymore, what else will there be? By the end of Season 1, you will see how Mary was the only person keeping her steady, sane, and faithful. There are times that only your loved ones are keeping you intact. But in Season 2, Mary is gone and everything changed for her, even herself. Lilith basically sold herself to Adriel and accepted the devil's work, since she believed that God has nothing left for her anymore, which by taking the Halo from her. I personally relate to Lilith. She thought she had it. She thought she's finally worthy enough to be what God wanted her to be. She believed, only for that belief to be crushed and be told in the face that you weren't the one. God really knows our true intentions.

Shotgun Mary. Mary is different from the others. In Season 1, she said she didn't take the vow to become a nun. She's still part of the nuns tho. She's just that carefree believer. I like Mary's story. She doesn't 'strongly' believe in God but she has faith. She's that type of religious person who occasionally goes to church lol. Atleast, her faith is stable. Although, one thing bad about Mary is that she goes in head first. She showed this attitude twice, when Shannon died and when they faced Adriel by the end of Season 1. Mary is the type of person who doesn't need to ask for a sign. If for her, this feels like the right to do, she'll do it. She's reckless, but a fighter.

Sister Camila. I love Camila's story. Specifically, when Adriel had a hold inside her mind. In Season 1, she was like this little baby and her elder sisters are guiding her to be one of God's strongest soldiers. It paid off tho. In Season 2 Episode 5, Camila experienced an unnerving situation. Adriel put some sort of a cross-shape nail and it's woven on her spinal cord. In this way, she could hear Adriel's voice inside her mind, and Adriel could hear her as well. I love this specific scene because it showed how strong of a person Camila is. She was so scared when she found out that that's the reason why she keeps hearing Adriel's voice, and not because her faith in God is starting to weaken. Camila showed how strong her faith is when she confronted Adriel. Not gonna lie, I thought Camila was gonna turn her back against OCS when this scene occured, but it was only her scaring Adriel. Camila's story showed how a believer can be shaken, and immediately bounce back from it.

Sister Beatrice. Ah yes. The one I deeply relate to. Beatrice is a very composed, devoted, and skilled person. She grew up from a conservative family and that kind of helped her become a nun. In Season 1 Episode 8, she mentioned how hard it is to pretend or to be something you're not. It's not easy to act perfect and be what your family expects you to be. It's hard when you're like the odd one among the others. The pain of expectations pushed her to be a nun and I guess, helped her be a disciplined one as her family wanted her to be. She dedicated her life in religion. For her, nothing matters but God, her purpose/mission, and her family, OCS. Then, Ava came along. Ava ignited something in her. Something that she didn't expect to burn stronger as time goes by. I love Bea's story. She dedicated herself to God, but she found something more outside of it that she didn't know that felt more real. She thought living for her belief was already it, but discovering her love for Ava made her realized that there's something more in this world that she could experience more. I deeply relate to her. As a person who once spiritually dedicated and finding out that there's this love that you can have outside of it, I love how her story is told. By the end of Season 2, she discovered a new person, a new Beatrice, and that helped her decide to leave OCS. She found a new path that will make her feel the freedom she's been longing for. Bea still believes in God, she's still a believer, and she most definitely can still be one despite not being in a church. She can be God's servant without having to pretend who she really is. :)

Thank you for reading this long ass post. I really just need to take these thoughts out lol. I love this show so much. It has so much story to tell in every angle, not just spiritually. And I really hope we get Season 3. SO GO STREAM IT NONSTOP!!! IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, SEASON 2 IS A MUST WATCH SERIOUSLY.

#warrior nun #watchwarriornuns2onnetflix #warrior nun spoilers #mother superion #ava silva #sister lilith #shotgun mary #sister camila #sister beatrice #their spiritual journey

[vanbredevoort]

12, 19 for the character building questions!

character build time! / accepting!

12 · What’s something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

It depends a lot on the verse--- on main, she's not one to laugh very often. Lydia is a 'duty above all else' gal. She's too busy researching, assisting, helping, painting. She smiles often (when she has a FACE to do so, and if not then with her eyes) but it's all politeness. You see, she's always carrying a mask. The illusion is just ironically another layer of that. She's always playing pretend-- Pretending to play her part for the Northern Realms, pretending to be nice and polite, pretending to not love her master.

A commoners silly tale would make her laugh. A farmer explaining with a tankard of beer how he chased his precious sheep singing filthy songs he knows the sheep loves would make her laugh. Love stories, IF her defenses are low, will make her giggle as someone much younger than she is.

(If she's drunk basically everything makes her laugh. Back in Aretuza she had a drunk laughing fit while staring at a fence. Just a fence with nothing out of the ordinary. She thought it was hilarious.)

19 · What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they’ve been avoiding?

Being repetitive is my jam, so I'm going to say it again: she a 'duty above all else' kind of person. If she can't stand someone but HAS to, because it is needed for Vilgefortz's sake and his cause, she will endure an eternity of it.

The list of people she wants to avoid exists, tho, and I will explain. First of all, and most importantly, she doesn't want to be in the same room as Vilgefortz's lovers. She will find a perfect excuse and leave as long as the person is staying with him. She has been exercising self control enough to keep herself from expressing her discomfort, break things or plainly cry out of jealousy, but she does not like to drag that out and put it to the test for days. Any display of affection would make her react, and if she doesn't, well, she has very expressive eyes. And Vil knows how to read them. In that case, funny, it's Vil himself she wants to avoid (it's not her intention and never would be to get in the way of Vil and his partners, if they make him happy-- she'd never meddle). Not for long tho, she can't stand being apart for too long. She'd rather take the pain and choked jealousy than leave for more than a few weeks.

Philippa is another person she likes avoiding in basically every scenario, every verse. On main, because she gives her the creeps: too powerful, too manipulative, too good at hiding her intentions, too many layers of deception. On the resurrected verse, well, Phil kinda owns Lydia's soul. It's a constant reminder that her happiness can be crushed in a second by a simple whim.

Alejandro, a sorcerer from Cidaris, is a BIG nono for Lydia. Remember everything I said about 'duty above all'? Well throw that off the window and set it on fire because if Alejandro is there, she's gon be running in the opposite direction. The other end of the continent if possible. Alejandro is very straight-forward about his attraction towards Lydia, and stubborn about it. Lydia is kind of oblivious when it comes to someone deisiring her, but Alejandro is beyond honest with his intentions and Lydia WILL escape him every chance she gets.

#fioletowaroza #·· her own dagger / HEADCANON #( this was fun to write and also sad and also i suck. ) #( thank you so MUUUUCHHH i love writing these!!! they're fun!!! ) #( shoutout to Ale the MVP ) #( even when i stopped rping lydia ro and i still made jokes FOR YEARS about lydia running as soon as ale steps foot in the same building ) #( tw: alcohol mention )

[peaky-shelby]

omg, hi bub! after this chapter I just knew I had to send a message. This was most definitely one of the best chapters I've EVER read in all of the fandoms that I've been in.

The way you have built the angst not only with kyks and taylor but also slowly with the other players, i truly cannot imagine how they are gonna react when they find out, i wonder if marquinhos is gonna be able to still defend her even when all of the others are against her.

But kylian fucking mbappe really pushes your fucking limits, what he said in the interview trying to tease her but then wanting to be given another chance once he saw she wasn't playing around was so fucking funny. He really has no middle ground, it's like he either hates her or wants to protect her. I can't get enough of it (tho, he'd be fucked if he said that to me XDDD) I really want to know why he feels so mad about her having been a football player before? idk if it was something that I missed?

The last part at the bar was so ehnfqewufnqbrwhjnd, like it's hot but at the same time so fucking infuriating, like I wanted tay to shut him up so bad, but i can't wait to see how it's going to go down since it was marquinhos that separated them both. i just know kylian is gonna be so fcking jealous and I love ittttttttttt.

i hope trish can help tay once the truth comes out because I feel like she's really gonna need someone to support her :((((((((((((((((((

Aaaaaaah i love this message!!!

Alright just so i can answer your question right away.

Kylian had been feeling shit after the world cup. Everyone had these big expectations of him and now they are all expecting to fail basically in ever game he plays in. When Taylor comes along with her knowledge and her history and the influence she has on Galtier he is terrified and knows that there's something more going on.

So when he finds out that she really isn't just a journalist and she has a GOOD history in playing he is intimated. She already got him benched somehow for the first half of the game and he doesn't even understand how that's possible. If she's been hiding this about her identity then what else is she hiding?

Basically he is having a self crisis, doubting everything he does and Taylor is a constant reminder of that. The more he allows her to see, the more she reflects the broken pieces of him. And what if one day he ends up like her as well? A great player with a very short lived career.

The reason why the previous chapter was 10k was because i wanted them to reach the limit both of them. Kylian is turning into the lowest of the low, while Taylor is losing her brutal and badass ways because she is attached to all the players now and she has to find a balance. It's basically a reset for both of them to get their shit together.

He doesn't hate her, he hates what she represents which to him is all his failures and his possible downfall. When he realizes she is the key to the exact opposite he'll turn around. When i said this was enemies to lovers i meant it.

Thank you for reading!!! It means the world to me! If anyone are you has any more questions like that I'd love to answer them.

[vanillatalc]

this evening was a bit of a :|

a few hours after clare left benno told me that tmr we're gonna have to have a pub lunch w/ his family so i immediately freaked out bc this additional Thing on top of seeing boops & his gf last weekend + having clare this weekend (after like, 3y of nothing, bear in mind, so EVEN THO i was so happy to see them both it also took a decent amount of time to like stop being anxious + come down from that spike. like im still a little keyed up now. they both follow me on here btw + none of this is news to them i hope lol. i love u both im just insane x)

i got so angry (not at ben but at the situation, through fear) that i juts stopped talking and went away upstairs to lie in my bed to try and calm down alone

a few mins later ben came uptsairs + i immediately was like "i really just want to be alone actually" then realised he was crying so i was like ...ok come in (crying trumps general rage in terms of Need i think)

we think it's a long-term mental effect of the pandemic where he gets rly emotional after a social event ends bc it reminds him of like the 3y where it was just us in this tiny little universe + he panics bc i think he goes like straight to that place in his mind where he's just never gonna see anyone again? like every goodbye feels like it's gonna be forever

so anyway he tried to get me to talk about MY feelings during this time + i was just like sry i cant lol. you know when you're hollowed out inside through a combo of rage / general madness / having to remain compos mentis for someone else who needs you. AINT GONNA HAPPEN

so after that settled down i did message him on discord like "love u, not angry, will talk to you later this eve about MY feelings" (+ did stick to this obvs)

think the general sticking point is that while ben seems to have been a bit traumatised by lockdown + the social isolation i found it incredibly incredibly easy + stress-free, + have found the slow transition to normal life v difficult (and still do find it both difficult + incredible to watch in the sense that we're all just pretending covid is over bc like it's easier ig??). ill just c/p what i said to ben here: "if you found the lockdown unexpectedly traumatic I found it lovely and have found the return to normal really difficult & think people are just pretending we're back to pre COVID times when we aren't and I find that cognitive dissonance very hard to deal with, I also can't stand gatherings based around food anyway as you know and it seems to literally be all that is ever on offer and it struck me in the same way as the pret in Portsmouth or you being invited out for the meal when my sister was here etc busy couple of weeks that filled me with huge levels of anxiety and stress, thought tomorrow might be a bit more low key but no, got to to do something else I fucking loathe just very fed up and tired"

he asked me again to talk to him more about my feelings instead of just suddenly crashing when something slightly unexpected happens - i said yes - i think im just confused by how much he wants me to talk to him about LOOOL like if i told him every single anxious thought or w/e id be talking to him 24/7 and it just feels like i dont know which thoughts are the ones to share + which aren't???

anyway w/e it got sorted out w/ solid communication i think tbh like ben says we wont do the lunch. i said that he could do it if he wants but there's not a chance in hell im stepping foot into that pub lmfao like there are so few things he wants to do that i actually refuse (hopefully if u read my blog regularly you will understand that this is true) but i have reached my limit on Events Not In My Comfort Zone, and idc if he wants to do it, he's welcome to, but i will walk around the village during that time he was like "ok that's not gonna happen sweetie bc they'll think you hate them" so we're just not doing it. i do feel bad but also i literally like cannot do it? like i am just fully comfortable in the knowledge that i cannot do it, will not do it, and am simply not doing it. so if that means ben isnt gonna do it either that's just gonna have to be how it is. like not to be dismissive but ... this is how i am + he picked me knowing that so like.

OK loads more shit happened in the hour i took away from this post, benny thinks it might be worth postponing the woods trip just bc he's worried how to spin the lunch thing (whereas im like if you want to tell them im insane just tellt hem idc) but we had a good chat in bed + i love him a lot lol. i do like how good we are at emotionally comforting each other. i think we should 100% go tmr but he's a bit fragile (see above lol) so ill just defer to him on this one, im not exactly in a position to be like "JUST POWER THROUGH!!" hahahhaha anyway we'll see how he's feeling tmr. he's more cheerful now anyway bc we had a nice chat + committed to making some post-wedding plans as well so he wont feel that giant post-event freakout that seems to be plaguing him atm

#we're gonna do pottery classes :D

[escalierssansfin]

Here are the MANY reasons why you should recover from your ed (please read until the end!! Thank you!❤️)

- you will be happier with how you look: sounds weird, i know, but healing from your ed is also learning how to love your body no matter what it looks like. So you can eat AND love yourself!!

- you won't lack energy anymore!! And your brain will be all nourished : no more foggy ideas and weak legs. You'll be powerful and productive!!

- you will have more room in your head for new projects : less room for negative thoughts and low self estime.

- you will see yourself as what you really are : a warrior who overcame a lot. You will look back at your old life and tell yourself : "never again". (It happened to me!)

- you will stop worrying the people you love. If you starve yourself for the attention, it's the wrong solution : people will never worry as much as you want them to. They will only talk abt it less and less. You don't want to help someone who won't help themselves. It's YOUR choice to go down that path. ON THE OTHER HAND THO, if you choose to recover, people will be there to support you and give you love and attention! That's the way to go!!

- people don't see yourself as you do. They don't focus on your weight. THEY DON'T CARE!! If someone thinks your pretty, 10 more lbs on you won't make them think otherwise!! And if it is the case, RUN! they don't want you for the good reasons!!

- if you don't recover NOW, it will only be harder in the future. No more "i can stop whenever i want". You know that its not true. I once told that to myself, and it only made things harder. Having an ed isn't cool, aesthetic, or an edgy phase. Its a life threatening disease. It looks fun on the outside, but once you get it, your life changes forever. You never recover fully. But if you start to recover RN, it will be easier than later! Give yourself that amazing chance, you deserve it so much!!

- there are many aspects of your life that you put aside because of your ed. Don't lie to me, i know its true!! If you recover, you will be able to focus on all of those things that you miss!

- you will be happier in general. EDs are mental illnesses. They decrease your quality of life. Recovery = happiness!!! And YES, you are worth it!! You deserve to be happy!!!❤️

I know that recovery is scary. You don't want to feel or to look like someone who gave up, like a quitter. But by starving yourself, you ARE giving up on yourself. Recovery is hard, it's a real battle against your own brain. But recovery is also a beautiful, amazing way to fight.

You are loved and you are strong, never forget it! ❤️‍🩹💕

#ed recovery #recovery #you are worthy #you are beautiful #ed #mental illness