#this took ten years to answer i apologize ;u;

[girl-in-the-chairs-void]

Mishaps and Apologies

Summary: Jake wants to apologise but You wont give him a chance to speak until...

Word count: 2.4k

warnings/Tags: Jake being Jake. for the sake of this fic, there has been a change that is different to the movie. please roll with it. ANGST, ANGTY, DID I MENTION THE ANGST?

A/n: Here is your early new years gift! I speed wrote this chapter between 12am and 4 am, and well I'm gonna sleep after posting it. This chapter is a mess. BUT we only have a few more to go! 

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“Good morning, the Uranium enrichment plant that is your target will be operational earlier than expected. Raw uranium will be delivered to the plant in ten days time. As a result, your mission has been moved up, one week.”

Fucking great. One phrase that was bouncing off the walls of all the aviators gathered in the room. Sure, the mission is difficult but so far none of them have even cleared the valley simulation to move on to the next step, much less complete the training by next week. 

You leaned forward in your chair as Admiral Bates continued his announcement and took his leave as Mav came on. The noise from jets landing and taking off made it harder for you to hear him. You wanted to fly this mission no matter what. Nothing was going to get in your way of it. 

However, there is one person that may get in the way. Jake Seresin. You had been going above and beyond to avoid him today, after the ‘talk’ yesterday, you didn't want to face him again unless you had victory of being on the team. 

“We have one week left to focus on Phase Two. It’s the most difficult stage of the mission. A pop-up strike with a steep dive, requiring nothing less than two consecutive miracles.” Maverick spoke, pacing back and forth on the little step in front of them. The screen lit up showing a U shaped valley with the uranium plant at the center of it, surrounded by two tall mountains. The Gs on the way out will be significant, you thought as you listened to Mav.

“Two pairs of F-18s will fly in a welded wing formation. Teamwork. Precise coordination of their aircraft is essential to both mission success and your survival.” He warned. 

“As you know, the plant rests between two mountains. On final approach, you’ll invert directly into a steep dive. This allows you to maintain the lowest possible altitude and the only possible attack angle.” It made sense. Somehow, the first part of the approach up till now made sense in your head and hopefully was do-able. Until he explained further about the Coffin Corner…

“Egress is a steep high-G climb out to avoid hitting this mountain-

“A steep climb at that speed, you’re pulling at least eight G’s.” Jake cuts in.

“Nine, minimum.” 

“The stress limit of the F-18’s airframe is 7.5.” It's Rooster who pipes up this time. Challenging Mav. While they have had a rocky relationship thus far, Rooster is managing to retort back to Mav during each exercise.  

While Maverick goes further into the exercise and the rest of the mission, there isn't one moment where your foot hasn't stopped shaking. Yes, there was nervousness in the air about flying this mission, but more so about who was gonna be flying it. 

“Sir, is this even achievable?” Phoenix questions, almost as if she read the minds of the pilots in the room, who were thinking the same thing.

“The answer to that will come down to the pilot in the box.”

Well shit. This is not gonna go well. 

For this exercise, Mav had paired you and Phoenix, along with Coyote. While Phoenix usually has Bob as her backseater, Mav has paired you up with her.

You didn't think much of it, at least it wasn't with anyone else, it was Phoenix.

Exiting the room, to move to their assigned teams and places, you felt his stare. He had tried catching up with your fast pace when you were out on your morning run at the beach. Even when you had came to the base early to clear your head, he was there. But you didn't give him a second of your time. Managing to slip away every time he came too close. 

Now, as you moves through the halls and narrow corridors of the naval base, he is hot on your heels. Calling after you as you increase your pace; taking one swift turn after another, trying to shake him off but he is relentless until you take one last turn and comes face to face with the door that leads outside to your respective planes. Before he could catch up, you had already exited, leaving the door swinging wide open and close. 

Jake closes his eyes, breathing out a deep sigh and turns around to make his way to the lounge where he had to be with the rest of the pilots while you, Phoenix and Coyote were up in the air. He made his way to sit next to the radio, which was situated right next to where Rooster sat. Wanting to avoid any questioning from the man, he sat himself down at a safe distance, giving him a nod to acknowledge his presence before carefully listening through the radio for your voice.

…

“Talk to me, Athena!”

“We are 12 seconds late on target. We gotta move, Phoenix!” You spoke in a panicked voice, eyes blown out wide. you needed to hurry up. Testing the target lens again, making sure it was working well before they reached the target point. 

As Phoenix mumbled slight curses under her breath, Coyote agreed; “Copy. Try to stay with me.”

Your eyes scanned the radar in front of you, noticing a small aircraft making its way towards them. You let out a sound of bewilderment as you heard Mav over the radio. 

“Wait, who's that?”

“Blue team, you've been spotted. I’m a bandit on course to intercept. What are you gonna do?” he announced himself, as you examined his location. He may be able to catch up with them if they keep this speed. They had to make a move.

“He’s 20 miles left, ten o’clock. 700 knots closure.” You informed Phoenix and Coyote. 

“Your call, what do you want to do?” Coyote proposes. 

“Continue, we’re close. Stay on target.” Phoenix ordered before you could have a say. You wanted to buy in and tell them that it wouldn't be a good idea to stay on course without dealing with Mav or increasing their speed further.

“Phoenix, he’s swinging around to the North! Maybe we should-”

Before you could finish the pop up point closed in. Making Phoenix shout; “be ready on that laser, Thena.”

“Copy, I’m on it.” you sat back in your seat, focusing on the situation in front of you as your hand closed around the laser joystick. Testing the Laser focus, the plane shot straight up before rotating on its back. Blood rushed to your head as you gripped the stick tighter. Closing your eyes and trying to regain focus. 

“Talk to me, Thena. Where’s Mav?” you heard Coyote through the helmet, eyes opening as you analyzed Mav’s location. 

“He’s uhh five miles out. He’s coming in fast!” You shouted and immediately regretted doing so. your head throbbed by all the noise around you- regardless of the thick earmuffs headphones that were sitting snug on your head.

The planes rotated back into their normal positions, moving at the same speed that you knew was too slow but chose not to speak of just yet. 

“Where’s my laser, Thia?” Coyote questioned the younger woman. Gathering any strength you had left, shaking your head. Narrowing your eyes on the target screen in front as the laser moved uncontrollably. 

“Shit. Deadeye! Deadeye! It’s no good if I can't get a lock. I’m sorry.” You repeated into the mic. 

“We’re out of time. I’m dropping blind.” He panted before dropping the bombs and hoping that it would hit. But it missed just by a meter as they flew by.

“Damn it. That's a miss!” He exclaimed before the planes straightened out again for Coffin Corner. You could feel your lungs compress; skin and flight suit starting to dig into your ribs. 

The oxygen mask you had on felt too much to breathe into. Your breathing became ragged. Vision blurring out, regardless of the aviator glasses you had on, similar to Bob’s. Tunnel vision was not uncommon during this but your version of it was always the worst.

Many aviators experience a blurred circle and darkness around that point when under an immense high G pressure. But for you, it was a fully darkened vision with spots of lights like it was farther away than it was meant to be. You felt your hearing starting to give out just as a familiar, piercing ringing took over your ears. 

“Maverick’s got a missile lock on us.” You spoke through a blind sight. You knew the tone, so it didn't take a flying genius to know that they were dead. Breathing out a sigh of relief and disappointment, she heard Phoenix over the comms.

“Shit, we’re dead.” She steered the jet around, leveling out.  Making their way back to the ship before you noticed that Coyote was still leveled up in Coffin Corner. That wasn't right. 

“Coyote? Do you copy?” You heard yourself shouting into the comms before Mav repeated the words. Becoming more and more concerned about your best friend. you noticed his plane started to drop, rotating its way towards the ground at a high speed. Something clicked into your mind. He must be in G-LOC.

“Mav, I think he is in G-LOC, I repeat, Coyote is in G-LOC. He’s gonna burn in.” You swiftly informed the older man. Silently praying for his safety as you closed your eyes. 

“Damnit! I’m going after him.” 

You watched in shock as Mav tried to get a missile lock on him, hoping it would snap him out of it. You called after him over the comms over and over again. Trusting him not to die on you. It was getting harder for you to breathe now. You couldn't lose him. He was gonna fly this mission with you. He’d promised. Your eyes were tightly shut as Mav finally got the missile lock. You needed to hear him. To know that he was okay. But you couldn't do it with your eyes open. Otherwise you were sure you would end up throwing up in the oxygen mask.

“I'm okay. I’m good.” Javy repeated as you breathed out a sigh of relief. Not noticing the small tears that blurred your vision. 

“You ever do that again, Coyote, I will personally kill you.” You threatened in fake annoyance. Happy that he was safe. Hearing him laugh but before he could retort something, you saw something smack the jet’s canopy and get caught in the back engine. Which set off a bunch of alarms and warnings at the screen in front of you. The left engine was on fire.

“Bird strike! Bird strike!” Phoenix announced, panicked.

“Phoenix, the left engine is on fire!” 

“Climbing.” She shot the jet up in the air, turning away from the bird strike as she turned off the left engine. Throttling back while Y/n noticed another warning pop up.

“The right engine is out! It's still spinning.” This was not good.

“Copy, trying to restart it. Throttling up.” Phoenix spoke as she faintly heard Mav warn her about something being on fire. But before you could ask him to repeat, the plane started spinning out of control.

you were on fire. Red lights flashing wherever you looked.

“Hydraulic failure! I repeat we are on fire.” This was not the time to panic. You had to think. THINK, THINK, THINK!

“We’re going in, Phoenix! We’re going in!” Shouts, warnings and toned ringing was all you heard. you could faintly make out Mav over the comms as Phoenix repeated his words. 

“EJECT, EJECT, EJECT!”

Reaching to pull the ejection tab that rested upright between your legs. Having a steady grip before you pulled, waiting for the seat to take off. Nothing.. 

“Mav, my ejection seat isn't working!” You called urgently, pulling harder on the duct tape wrapped rope. 

“Athena, pull harder, you gotta pull harder. Come on, you're gonna crash!” He encouraged. The urgency in his voice was evident as you heard Coyote.

“Y/n focus on my voice. Come on, you gotta pull harder.” taking a quick breath, gathering any strength that you had left and pulled as if your life depended on it. Immediately, you felt yourself shoot off into the air, the bottom of the seat lit on fire. You closed your eyes, not wanting to see the plane crash as a sharp sting took over your skull, smashing with a force you had only imagined. Before all you heard was silence.

…

Jake heard the entire situation. He‘d already played and replayed it in his head over a million times. Pacing in the empty radio room, where only he and Rooster sat. Rooster was weirdly calm. Jake didn't know why but he didn't want to ask either. She is gonna be okay, She’s strong. she’ll pull through. He had been repeating those words in his head like a mantra. He felt helpless. all he wanted to do at this moment was be with you, apologize to you. Hell, he’d go and personally ask the Striker team and Torch to take you back in. 

Mav entered the room, a solemn expression on his face which Hangman thought could bring both good or bad news. Mav looked towards the two men. As he and Jake met eyes, he didn't see a pilot, or a son or someone who was concerned for a friend. He saw a man that was on the brink of losing someone he loves dearly. Tears were gathered in his eyes that he had refused to let go. Rooster wasn't any better, yet he didn't hold the same, intense love that Mav knew Jake held for you.

“They’ll keep Phoenix in the hospital overnight for observation. But, there is something you should know. There was a problem with Athena's ejection seat which caused her to pull out much later than she had intended to. It caused some problems, she sustained a few injuries to the back of her head.” 

No, no this could not be happening right now. Jake felt like all the air in his lungs was suddenly being pushed out. His head was dizzy as he managed to grab onto the nearest table to steady himself. 

“Wha-? What did the doctors say? Is she gonna be okay, Maverick?” The words spewed out of his mouth like a waterfall. One after the other, it didn't make sense. 

“She is in surgery right now.” That was all it took for him to storm out the room in a hurry. Exiting the base as he grabbed a few of his things from his locker before sprinting to his car. He managed to break every single traffic light and speed limit just to get to the hospital.

Taglist:

@topaz125

@alittlereadingcorner

@inthestars-underthesun

@blue-aconite

@madikiel007

@merakiaes

@nicolemval

#jake hangman x reader #jake seresin #hangman x reader #jake seresin angst #antidotes and poisons #jake hangman x y/n #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman imagine #top gun maverick hangman #top gun maverick #jake hangman seresin #bradley rooster bradshaw #top gun #glenn powell #natasha phoenix trace #bob floyd #coyote #javy machado #x reader #reader insert #top gun:maverick #jake x reader

[ykwrites]

Like

Pairing: Osamu Miya x reader.

Warnings:none

Rating: SFW

Requests: CLOSED.

Summary: a very short and very stupid one shot.

MASTERLIST

12:30

Samu:''Question''

Y/n:''Shoot''

Samu:''Ya like me?''

Samu: ''I mean like like''

Samu: ''Like u want to kiss me or something''

read.

Phone immediately thrown across the room.

What the fuck was that supposed to mean? what did he want you to respond?

You always thought Atsumu was capable of something like this, but definitely not Osamu.

Osamu didn´t seem like the type to flirt with you after you broke up with one of his best friends.

''Y/n, are you okay?''a deep, stoic voice startled you, coming from the other side of your bedroom door.

''Yes, Toshi, I´m fine''you lied, certain urge in your voice hinting that you wanted to be left alone.

''Are you visible?''

Of course, your roommate would not let this go so easily.

''Yes''straightening up, you tried to look calm.

The door opened slowly showing a worried Ushijima, wondering why you acted so weird.

''I heard you scream and then a loud bang, what happened?''

This was news to you, but maybe you did react too crazy to that text.

Should you tell your friend what Osamu said?

Your heart pounded, there might've been a couple times where you thought it would be nice to kiss Miya, but you never mentioned it to anyone. Those kind of thoughts came after you broke off your previous relationship and started hanging out with Osamu more often to get distracted.

It was nice, Osamu understood your sadness after the break up and made it a point to make you smile and enjoy things. He often cooked for you, or just stopped by to watch some stupid movie and talk the entire time.

''Y/n''again, Ushijima bursted your bubble.

''Sorry''you uttered ''I´m good''

''Can you please tell me what happened?''

''Nothing important''

''Then why is your phone on the floor?''he raised a brow, picking up the device with two fingers ''thank god your screen didn't crack''

Silence dominated the room when your friend clicked the lock button and watched the screen light up. This was the first time you ever regretted having his face saved on your phone so he could unlock it whenever he needed to.

Ushijima clearly didn´t mean to see the texts, he just wanted to turn on the screen and check any damages, but the text app happened to pop up directly.

''I´m sorry''he said, handing your phone over ''That is a private conversation, I didn't mean to''

''You don´t have to apologize, Toshi, I would've told you anyway''you shrugged it off, he would find out anyway.

Even after years of being close friends and living together, Ushijima was still so correct and polite.

''That's why you almost broke your phone?''

''Yes''face beet red, you admitted.

''Are you going to respond?''

''I have no idea''

''I can tell him to leave you alone, it seems like this makes you uncomfortable''

It made you... nervous, not uncomfortable.

Ushijima was being protective, but before you could deny his offer, the doorbell rang a couple times.

''I´ll open''

Waiting for him to come back, you took a deep breath and stared at the text, getting anxious once again.

Osamu could be joking, right? there was no need to freak out really. He was a Miya after all...they like to play pranks on other people.

Ushijima was taking too long answering the door, so you focused to try and hear if he was talking to someone.

Your room was the furthest from the front door,only a faint mumble echoed in the distance, two male voices argued, weirdly calm but it still sounded like a confrontation.

Worried that Ushijima could be in trouble (and also being nosy) you got off your bed and quietly walked down the hallway, getting close enough to hear one simple but very revealing phrase.

“You make her uncomfortable, please leave”

Oh no

“She told ya that?”

OF COURSE he had to come over because you left him on read for like ten minutes.

“No, I saw it on her face”

Ushijima was getting annoyed.

“Dude, I’ve known ya since highschool and you’ve always been terrible at reading people’s emotions”

“Miya, leave”

That tone made you jump out in a heartbeat, Ushijima is calm and collected, but if you annoy him enough, he will punch someone.

Osamu looked at you with wide eyes, face blushing and hands moving nervously.

“Toshi, let me talk to him” you stated, taking a deep breath and ignoring that something moved inside you when you saw Osamu’s eyes light up.

“You sure?” Your friend asked, arching a brow.

“Yes”

With that, Ushijima made his way to the kitchen, and you decided to step outside with Osamu and closing the door instead of letting him in.

It was cold, but you didn’t care so much, with the way he looked at you, your whole body felt hot.

“What do you want?” You asked, breaking silence.

“You left me on read”scratching his neck, he explained.

Exactly.

“I know”

“S’fine, ya can respond now”a small, crooked smile showed on his lips.

Nervous and all, he was still a Miya, stupid, smug and handsome Miya.

“You’re so dumb, Samu”

“Come on” he urged, moving his hands towards you but deciding to backtrack and not touch you, like had thought it wasn’t a good idea mid way.

“What?”

You were pushing him, but honestly you still thought that he was playing a prank on you, and this stupid situation made you like him a bit more.

“Just reject me so we can be normal friends and I can stop falling for ya” his eyes avoided you this time, lowering his voice like he was embarrassed to say this.

“To answer your question…”you started, having a hard time expressing your feelings “I do like like you” his gaze instantly up to look at your face “like I want to kiss you or something”

He let out a big huff, exaggerated, showing relief with every expression.

“On the lips?”the sudden question took you by surprise, and Osamu smiled triumphant.

“Yes, Osamu, on the lips” you couldn’t help but laugh.

Distracted by his cute, annoying face, you didn’t even notice he got really close, his body pressing against yours gently. Your breath hitched, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

“I like ya”he said in a whisper, caressing your face with adoration.

Your body tingled all over when his lips were finally on yours, soft and tentative.

Realizing that you didn’t push back, he held you by your waist and deepened the kiss, lost in the overwhelming wave of emotions flooding his senses.

You would’ve kept kissing him for hours on end if it wasn’t for a surprised gasp coming from inside your house.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt” Ushijima spoke loudly without opening the door. “You can keep kissing”

Osamu audibly laughed with you.

“Don’t worry, man, I can kiss her later”

A couple seconds of silence after, Ushijima opened the door and stated he was going to make dinner for the three of you, acting like nothing happened and not waiting for Osamu’s response before disappearing into the kitchen once again.

“Who said I’ll let you kiss me later?”you teased, playing with the man next to you.

“You did, baby”

The nickname made you flinch and you swore he was going to laugh right before he kissed you again, cementing his feelings for you.

After all, he was right, you did like like him, a whole lot.

#haikyuu imagine #haikyuu x reader #hq headcanons #osamu headcanons #haikyuu osamu #osamu x y/n #osamu scenarios #osamu x reader #osamu miya x reader #osamu miya

[dnofsunshine]

Digimon Secret Santa Exchange 2023: Don't blame me (you started it)

Kuga Yuuya never texted her first. Until he did.

Written for @hallowed-nebulae for the @digisecretsanta 2023 exchange! :3

a/n: i'm your secret santa and (like i said on ao3 lol) i'm not entirely familiar with the digimon world series, or i wasn't until recently, so i hope i did your two favorites, Rina & Yuuya, justice!! i've enjoyed the gameplay so far of Re:digitize Decode and i enjoyed writing these two. i hope you have a safe and merry Christmas, and happy holidays!! <333 :D

Oh, and here's my Digimon discord server if you wanna yell abt digimon with us!

Read on AO3! || Read below the cut:

Kuga Yuuya did not texted her first.

It wasn’t something subjective—it was a simple, known fact! She wasn’t sure Yuuya texted anyone first. Often, when Rina texted him, Yuuya left her (very cruelly) on read. Sometimes he left her on delivered. Which was like, extremely rude, thank you very much.

(Granted, none of those messages were because of actual emergencies, but still. Her memes were nonetheless very important and warranted a response. But Yuuya had ignored her. Because of course he did. The jerk.)

So, naturally, when Rina’s phone vibrated and pinged, and Yuuya’s contact lit up her screen, Rina gaped. She blinked, surprised, and it took several moments to register that oh yeah, she should read the message.

Hey, Yuuya had written plainly. Jeesh, and he called everyone else boring.

Yeah, the world had totally ended. Sometime in the last few minutes, the world had ended and Rina had died and gone to an afterlife where apparently Kuga Yuuya texted her first.

She debated on calling him to see what was up, but that ran the risk of scaring him off because he didn’t even text, let alone call; so Rina leaned back in her chair and did what she did best.

Rina: hey!!!! ┌( ＾◡＾ )┘whatcha up to???

Yuuya: Studying. You use a lot of exclamation points, Rina-san.

Rina: and u text like the heir of the gigo company lol

Yuuya: Is… that a good or a bad thing?

Rina blinked again, her lips curving into a frown. She narrowed her eyes at her screen suspiciously, and who could blame her? Since when did Yuuya care about her opinion of him?

Rina: not bad!!! was just kiddin lol (≧_≦)

Yuuya: Okay.

She sent him another text that mostly consisted of emotes and exclamation points (perhaps proving his point), and this time, it took a while for Yuuya to respond. At least a good ten minutes.

Yuuya: What about you? What’re you up to?

Okay. Wow. She peeked out her bedroom window—yep, still snowing. Which meant it was still mid-December and she was still in Japan. Maybe. Probably. If she wasn’t… did it snow in the afterlife? To what afterlife had she been sent, for Yuuya to not only respond but ask about her in return? Smug, snooty Yuuya? What the hell was even happening? She couldn’t even begin to know the answer to that. 

Instead, she answered Yuuya.

Rina: just chillin!!! not really doing much haha it’s boring w/o V.V. here tbh

Yuuya: I see.

Another pause followed. Rina stood from her chair and made her way to her bed to sprawl out, phone in hand, as she awaited the continuation of their conversation. She got bored waiting on minute three and decided she couldn’t handle the suspense anymore.

Rina: so whats up???

Yuuya: I’m studying.

Rina: well duh u said that already i meant why did u text me

Yuuya: You text me all the time.

Rina: yeah! but u like never answer soooooo

Yuuya: Sorry.

Oh good god, okay. Yuuya, apologizing? Prideful, arrogant Yuuya? Maybe she’d gone to some alternate dimension—somewhere that wasn’t the digital world—where everything was the same except for one fifteen-year-old Kuga Yuuya.

She frowned again, this time in contemplation. As she pondered how to respond, she kicked her feet idly against her bed, tapping the back of her phone case if only to keep her fingers moving.

She wondered absentmindedly if his dad scolded him or something. From what she knew, Kuga Kenzou was more insufferable than Yuuya—which, of course, made sense considering he was Yuuya’s father—so it wasn’t much of a stretch to say he wasn’t all that great of a parent.

Her chest ached inexplicably at the thought and her frown deepened.

Rina: is ur dad being a bitch

Yuuya: Huh?

Rina: ya know ur dad is he being a bitch lol

Yuuya: I don’t see what he has to do with the conversation.

Then, after about a minute:

Yuuya: Father is always being a bitch.

Rina: lol!! i believe it honestly

And because Rina was a gremlin with no sense of self-control: 

Rina: his ass must really hurt from the stick shoved in it

Yuuya: Lol.

Rina blinked once more in surprise and then grinned at her screen because this was another new thing—Yuuya laughing at a joke? A joke she made? She didn’t even know Yuuya could laugh, much less over text. She didn’t know he even had a sense of humor.

They spent the next hour or so texting, with Rina sending memes (the normal amount) and emotes (also the normal amount) and Yuuya telling her that it was, in fact, not the normal amount. Eventually, the time between Yuuya’s responses grew longer and longer, and Rina assumed that he’d averted his full attention back to studying.

Rina: ur a fun texter lol

Rina: not as fun as me obviously but still fun just sayin

She sent it without really expecting a response right away, but she was surprised yet again when the reply came in only a few minutes.

Yuuya: Wow. One person approves of my texting habits.

Rina laughed out loud. This was a fun side of Yuuya to see.

(And no, it wasn’t because she felt a little warm inside that he seemed to trust her enough to make jokes with her.)

(She didn’t feel warm inside at all.)

(Yuuya was simply growing on her.)

(Like a fungus.)

Yuuya: Is this supposed to be an honor or a shame, since the person is Rina-san?

Her laugh quickly turned into a scandalized gasp as she stared down at her phone in offense. No, she changed her mind. Yuuya wasn’t growing on her.

“Rude,” she said aloud as if he could hear her, without any hint of fondness in her voice. None at all. "Yer such a punk."

Oh, who was she kidding—she sent him memes, shitposts, and festive, holiday-themed selfies every day after that for the rest of the month. If he was pissed about it, well, he texted her first.

#digimonsecretsanta2023 #digimon world series #digimon world re:digitize decode #kuga yuuya #shinomiya rina #hallowed-nebulae #drabble #digimon secret santa exchange #my fics #my writing #digimon fanfic #oh look a digimon fic without takeru??? i am capable hehehe #digimon story series #fluff and humor #fluff #texting fic #mild language

[downton-bridgerton]

cobert + 21 for the kiss prompts 💗

#21. …on a place of insecurity

Kiss Fic Asks!

Robert Crawley swirled the whiskey inside his glass as he stood with other gentlemen, who themselves are chatting away about yachts...among other things. He was with his family, of course, in celebration for Harold's wedding...which itself was already surprise to everyone, even Martha Levinson herself

But from the very start, Robert was already feeling left out. Not only because he's an Englishman in America, but also suddenly shy and quiet, as his wife was doing the hostess duties as she usually does. His daughters has surprisingly adopted well immediately...he thought it was because they're half-American and they, too, have been more sociable as they became both wives and mothers of their own

"Anyway, Robert, Harold says that your a member of Royal Yacht Club, right?" a gentleman then asked him, making him snap back to reality

"Oh yes, I am indeed" he answered

"So how many yachts do you have?"

"Just one, really. But we never really get to use it, so we just decided to donate it to the club"

"Donate it?!" Harold then said "Why in the world would you do that?"

"Well, because we don't really–"

"Harold's right! You could've kept that up more than other stuff! Yachts are an important asset for a man like your status!"

"But we don't have u–"

"I could have sold that even! You should've told me long ago!"

As the men drowned in their conversation once again, Robert slowly took a deep breath and count backwards from ten to help him calm down

Unknown to him, Cora has been observing him from afar while in conversation with some of the ladies, which included her new sister-in-law. Seeing that he needed her rescuing, she politely excused herself from the ladies and went to him

"Ah, Cora!" one of the men then called out as they saw her "What a sight to behold!"

"Thank you, but as much as I would to have a chat with you all, I need to have an urgent conversation with my husband" she then said, and looks over to her husband, to which fortunately Robert caught immedaitely

"Is it something from home?" he inquired

"Unfortunately, which is why I need to discuss the plan with you"

Robert nodded, and excused themselves before heading to the balcony nearby

***

"What is it, Darling?" Robert then asked as they arrived "Is something of the matter?"

"I think it is I who should be asking you that question" Cora looks at him, gently rubbing his biceps

"Nothing is the matter with me. Don't worry" he smiled a little, but with 40 years of marriage under their belt, she knows what his expressions mean already

"Are you sure you're alright?" she insisted gently. He was about to reassure her once again, but with a rather serious expression on her face, he simply sighed softly in defeat

"I am...I am not alright" he then started, looking down on the floor, "In fact, I do want to go home now...but that is very disrespectful to your brother and his wife...and to you, of course. And I cannot relate to whatever these...gentlemen are talking about. They even belittled me for donating our yacht!"

"Oh, dear..." her facial expression softened, holding him closer and comforting him

"I somehow...now know what you felt when you married me" he continued, "It's not much of what you felt, but still...it now all makes sense. I am so, so sorry"

"Robert," she gently said, "It's alright. But I, too, am sorry for you being so left out today"

"Don't apologize" he replied, "I didn't get to apologize to you when you're feeling like this. And yet, you are, as always, stronger than I am"

She looks at his expression of both pain and guilt, and now felt a pang of guilt as well inside her. Cora then slowly lifts his chin up to face him, before leaning in for a gentle kiss. Robert was surprised at first, before slowly melting into her arms and pulling her closer

As they pulled away to catch some air, Cora lets out a light giggle, where he finally saw her husband slowly smiling again

"Is that a real smile I see?" she asked

"Maybe..." he teased, resting his forehead against hers

"Robert..."

"It is! It is a real smile"

They both chuckle once again, before Cora smoothes down his suit and pull away from his grasp "Now, you can head upstairs already if you want, I'll just tell them that you're...too surprised with the news from home, which is why you need to retire for the night"

Robert smiles sweetly, but shakes his head "No. I want to go back with you inside" he said, "I feel...a bit braver now. Somehow"

"Are you sure?"

"I am. And besides, I wouldn't want to miss having the waltz with you later on"

"Very well, then"

She then offers her hand to hold, to which he takes and gently kisses the back of it. The two then shared a lovely smile at one another before heading back inside the grand ball, just as the waltz was about to start

#nawwww this is freaking sweet!! 💗 #even for me it is really #robert crawley #cora crawley #cobert #downton abbey #kiss fic #corasorangejuice #mutuals #*my drabbles and writing #my post

[plasmavamp]

ask game — “OC ASKS” 

@poetic-falls​ @i-eat-pockey-sims​  thank you guys for the asks hehe ♥

1. What is/are your OC’s nickname(s) and how did it come about?

in my story, his name “Caleb” is essentially a nickname/preferred name; his full name is Gabriel Caleb Vatore jr. but he goes by Caleb to differentiate from his father, plus he just likes it better. This earns the nickname “Cal” that some people call him.

4. What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

imma be real honest, its 5am currently and im dumb as hell so if this answer is wrong then i apologize LMFAO (i also googled “what is a physical attribute” and kept getting “physical characteristics” and various keywords like it so im like UH THANKS?) so um imma just answer this like its asking “what’s the most noticeable physical feature about your oc?” and that’s his bright silver eyes lmfao they aren’t (always) bright-light type of silver, but more ‘bright and lively’. Anywho that’s probably wrong as hell so just ignore this one lmfao u.u

55. What are your OC’s thoughts on death?

it.........depends. for himself, personally, he’s not bothered by it; he’s already lived through death and has been “undead” for little more than 200 years with his sister, so “death” on his behalf isn’t really scary to him (unless he’s stuck in his head reliving the moment or having nightmares from turning into a vampire when he does get a rare chance of sleep.) As for the concept and idea of a beloved dying, that’s a different story. He hates the idea of knowing his mortal friends will one day not exist next to him anymore; it broke his heart seeing his parents grow old and pass, and if the mere idea of it comes to mind to any other person he’s close to, he does everything he can to prevent it because he doesn’t want to lose them. He does believe there’s a “life after death” (he’s met Blair the ghost lol, he’s seen Morgyn commune with spirits before), but he feels like death on other’s behalf is terrifying. He gets really upset thinking about it :c

56. What are some of your OC’s strengths?

besides the obvious (vampire abilities), Caleb is creative, insightful, really inspiring and convincing when need be. He’s very determined to do what he feels is right and passionate about anything, anybody he cares about, and everything he believes in.

#caleb vatore #character : caleb #ask meme #nonsims #bloodborn spoilers ? #this took ten years to answer i apologize ;u;

[c-rowlesdraws]

Since Ilmater and Tefnoor are travel advisors for andalites visiting Earth, do they ever have to interact with human-nothlited-yeerks (or advise their clients on how to interact with them)?

Disappointing reveal time: there aren’t any Yeerk-to-human nothlits in their version of postwar Earth! If this were my AU where Aftran become a human nothlit, maybe the situation by the war’s end would be different enough that other Yeerks would also be able to choose that fate. But Tefnoor and Ilmatar exist in my interpretation of postwar Earth according to canon, where Aftran is a whale and the intergalactic political climate probably wouldn’t allow Yeerk-human nothlits at all.

I have a soft spot for the Yeerk Peace Movement, so I like to imagine that former YPM Yeerks (and Yeerks who cut certain deals with certain people) would be given the option to nothlit as cetaceans instead of getting sent back to the Yeerk homeworld. Yeerk nothlit whale-watching tours could be an extremely lucrative business, if the threat of anti-Yeerk violence wasn’t so high; as it is, the nothlit pods’ migration patterns are kept confidential for their safety.

Just because Aftran and her peers are living off the grid doesn’t mean they’re completely out of touch with Earth culture, though. Tefnoor has a human-style hardcover copy, with paper pages and everything, of Aftran’s bestselling and highly controversial memoir. It holds the record for being the first book written (via thoughtspeech dictation) by a humpback whale.

(Those rumors that certain Yeerks and voluntary hosts with especially valuable scientific and political expertise have been allowed to remain as they are, under new identities, in exchange for their knowledge? Those are just rumors. Just ignore them.)

#ask #animorphs #animorphs headcanon #ilma and tef #catie talks #aftran 942 lives in the pacific ocean #where she divides her time between writing and being a whale #aftran pushed it with a flipper and the pages are all warped from getting dunked in the ocean #cassie has an autographed copy of aftran's memoir #it's quality postwar headcanon time with catie #thank u for this ask im sorry it took me ten years to answer it #i apologize 4 how i am #inklesspen

[jkbabiey]

YOU KNEW IT , HE KNEW IT // JJK [sequel]

Pairing:  tattooartist!jungkook x doctor!reader

Word Count: 3.9K

Genre: fluff, angst

Warnings: mentions of rough sex, JK hurts Y/N :(, smoking, prepare for just a little bit of heartbreak - not telling you how it ends :) I hardly revised this so MY APOLOGIES FOR ANY MISTAKES!!! please, read this first <3

Nothing had changed.

Jungkook was a hard nut to crack and after that night his shell had become harder - you were back to being a quick fuck for him.

He would shoot you a 'u up?' text that took him just a little more than one second to send at 10 PM (after he was done with work) and in two seconds he'd get a 'yes' as an answer. After thirty minutes of driving from his studio to your place, he'd be at your door. And after hours of sex, he'd be on his way to his own bed.

You could reinforce the fact that little words were exchanged from the moment he walked into your apartment to the second he walked out. You could barely hear a 'how you doin'?' after the systematic 'hey' between messy kissing against the wall nearest to the entrance door sometimes.

And, let's make it clear - Jungkook had never been the most talkative, but after the years you two had met each other he had gotten more and more able to talk to you. All the topics were rid of the awkwardness that accompanied any conversation you two dared to try to have in the first months of your 'arrangement'.

But now it was like you were back at stage 0. Tonight it was as if you hadn't even.

"Kook, calm down," you moaned as he furiously rammed inside you. Jungkook hadn't texted you tonight and neither did he compliment you, he just showed up and attacked you straight away.

And he didn't listen to you, keeping up the speed and force of his thrusts against you. "Shut up," he growled as he pulled his face away from your neck to kiss you. The kiss, just like the rest of him, was raw and cold. Nothing about it made you feel loved, nothing made you feel like it used to.

"Stop," you whispered and felt your eyes get teary. "Jungkook, stop!" you yelled, understanding he hadn't listened the first time. Jungkook raised his head, to look you in the eye, startled, and stopped his ministrations automatically.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-" he started but the last thing you wanted was to listen to him.

"Just get off me," you said and he rolled off you. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" you asked, the anger clear in your voice.

"I'm sorry Y/N, I-I didn't realize how rough I was getting. I didn't- I'm sorry!" Jungkook stuttered, his gaze locked on yours as he sat on your bed, his naked torso exposed and his bottom half covered by your white sheets. "I should go," he muttered, getting up and starting to dress.

"Oh wow, you're really doing that again?"

"Wha-What do you mean?"

"It's what you always do now. You come here, you use me as a damn fucktoy, and you never even dare to ask how I'm doing!" you yelled as Jungkook shook his head as if you were delusional.

"You're talking as if you don't enjoy it," he chortled humourlessly.

"Well, tonight I didn't-" you yelled with tears in your eyes and he turned towards you, with fire in his eyes, walking towards you with large steps.

"And I'm sorry about that! I already said I'm sorry!"

"But are you really?!"

He rested his hands on his hips, running his tongue over his pierced bottom lip. His eyes ran over your face and stopped on your teary eyes. "Of course I am." You stepped closer and rested your head on Jungkook's chest, feeling his arms, hesitantly, wrapping around your shoulders. "Of course I am, Y/N," he repeated using a way softer tone than before as his hand rested on your hair, caressing the back of your head.

It was as if Jungkook from ten minutes ago was never in the room with you, now left with a soft-toned Jungkook that kissed your forehead and tamed down your wild post-sex hair. Moments when this Jungkook showed up were what kept you from throwing him out of your bed and your life.

There was this guy living in the apartment next to yours, your balcony was next to his and usually, he smoked at the same time you watered your plants. He smoked shirtless and with messy hair as if he had just stumbled out of bed due to an intense addiction to cigarettes.

Today was no different. You were watering your beautiful purple Iris flowers when you heard the door next to yours that provided your neighbor access to his balcony open. "Morning," you chanted and he answered, sending a pretty and tired smile your way.

"How're the flowers?" he asked, still squinting his eyes from the bright sunlight.

"Watered, how're your lungs?" you asked playfully, amused that he was actually trying to start a conversation with you.

"Ouch..." he laughed, and paused, lighting his cigarette. "Are you an anti-smoker or something?"

"No, just like to remind you that you're killing your lungs every morning," you answered with a wide playful smile plastered on your face.

"Aren't you dating a smoker? I've seen him out here," he questioned, his smirk less playful and more provocative now. You sent him a glare and shook your head.

"I'm not dating anyone," you answered, placing your watering can on the shelf on your balcony and resting your forearms on the porch rail your balcony shared with his. You watched him raising an eyebrow as he expelled the smoke from his lungs through his pink lips.

"Is that so?" he teased and watched you nod with a tight smile. "What's your name?" he asked, changing the topic that he knew was a sensitive one - it's not like you hadn't kept him awake nights in a row.

"Y/N. What's yours?"

"Felix," he answered and smiled.

What a pretty smile he had.

Felix was a genuinely good guy. He had his mind and heart in the right places and he knew how to treat a woman. He was such a gentleman and even opened the car door for you when he took you out to dinner. He also made you caramel popcorn when you walked across your apartment's floor to watch a movie in his. He held your hand every time you two walked side by side on the streets.

He congratulated you and was genuinely happy for you when you told him you had received an offer from a prestigious hospital in another country to execute your neurosurgery residency. He was more excited about it than you expected he'd be and when he noticed the hard expression on your face, you told him about your worries about keeping a long-distance relationship. Felix was quick to reassure you that he was way too invested in you two to actually let you give up on it before even giving it a try.

No, you and Felix weren't dating but you acted as if you were. You two knew that the next logical step was him asking you to be his girlfriend or you asking him to be your boyfriend. This proposal of doing your residency program across the world made that a lot more difficult and upraised a lot of doubts in your head. Was this what you really wanted?

Felix was the exact opposite of Jungkook.

Jungkook never opened doors for you, neither did he make you caramel popcorn. He never held your hand. God, he never even walked with you in the streets, in the public eye.

And still, you couldn't help but wonder what Jungkook's reaction would be to this news.

Jungkook and you hadn't seen each other again after the night he went too far with you. He hadn't reached out and neither had you. And that made everything much more simple for you. It helped you focus on Felix and how much of a great guy he was. It worked for a while until you received this invitation and all you could think was that you can't leave without telling Jungkook you're leaving. You didn't even spare Felix a thought.

That explained why you declined Felix's initiation to try a long-distance relationship. You couldn't be that dishonest and selfish towards a guy so sweet as Felix. You couldn't tell him you wanted to be with him while thinking of another man. It was cruel and he didn't deserve it.

It also explained why you were standing by Jungkook's door, ringing on his doorbell, the night before your flight.

He opened the door with a pencil behind his ear and a naked torso, staring at his phone screen. "Oh, hi..." he said, after directing his gaze, from his phone to you. "Come in!"

And you did, watching his living room's floor full of crumpled pieces of paper and rough sketches - you presumed Jungkook was in the process of drawing a new tattoo design. "I'm just trying some new stuff here for work. You can seat on the sofa or something, or you can help me-"

"Jungkook, I need to talk to you," you interrupted, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear as he stopped in his tracks and looked at you.

"Alright, let's talk. Do you want something to drink? Coffee? Water? Wine?"

"No, I'm fine," you answered, seating down on your couch as Jungkook sat next to you, closer than he had been in the last three months you hadn't seen him.

"So... What's up?"

"I... I wanted to talk. I got accepted to do my neurosurgery residency program like I wanted."

"Oh yeah?" his eyes widened and he smiled, remembering the nights you two had stayed up talking and you had told him about your passion for neurosurgery. "Such a smartass," he teased, pinching your cheek. "Congratulations, Y/N," he said, laying a soft kiss on the cheek he had just pinched.

"Thanks..." you answered, timidly and playing with your own fingers. "I got an offer from a great hospital to do my residency."

"That's great," he smiled. It looked and felt to you like there was a sense of pride on his smile. Would Jungkook ever say he was proud to have you? To have you as whatever it was you were to him?

"Yeah..."

"You wanted to tell me that?" he asked, and you looked at him, hesitant.

"The offer is from a great hospital across the world. I'm going away and I'll stay away. Probably won't come back here."

Jungkook was having a good day. You could imagine he'd had a day off and had spent it on new designs for his clients. He had probably spent all day shirtless, on the floor of his living room, just drawing and throwing drawing away when they didn't seem good enough, then, drawing something new. You could even imagine how he had probably skipped most meals to not lose the string of inspiration that he had found that morning.

But as soon as he heard the words that had come out of your lips, his smile disappeared and his proud gaze dropped from yours, staring at the ground beneath his feet. "When are you leaving?" he asked.

"Tomorrow morning. I've got everything packed and I'll be at the airport at about 7 AM."

Jungkook didn't answer. Just stood up and walked towards the kitchen. You followed him instantly, watching him chug down a glass of cold water. "You only tell me now?" Jungkook's tone wasn't aggressive or upset just inquisitive and that disappointed you more than you were willing to admit.

"Figured I couldn't leave without telling you. Even though we haven't talked in months," you muttered the last part, hoping he'd listen anyway. He smiled your way, supporting himself with his hands on the marble countertop.

Jungkook felt different from when you last saw him. More mature. Less aggressive. You, initially, thought it could be because he's having a drawing-focused day and that always relaxed him. But even after hearing the big news, he seemed to be dealing with them well. Not angry with you for not telling him before that you were leaving. You were expecting an earthquake of yelled offenses thrown your way as soon as you dropped the news, but you had gotten none of it.

"I don't know what to say," he whispered, looking away from you. You walked towards him, and he quickly straightened up, turning his body towards you. He opened his arms, inviting you for a hug. You rolled your arms around his waist and he enveloped your shoulders in an affectionate manner. "I'm gonna miss you."

"That's just what I wanted to hear," you answered and he chuckled.

Maybe Jungkook had grown up during the three months you two spent away. Or maybe he just didn't feel anything towards you anymore.

You two didn't have sex. Never even talked about the three months you two just decided to ghost each other. Didn't mention your last encounter. And he didn't question who was Felix and why he was calling you to ask if you wanted him to drive you to the airport in the morning. When you left his apartment, you weren't crying from the aggressiveness you were expecting.

But you cried as soon as you got in the elevator.

ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ᴍᴏɴᴛʜs ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ

"Kook! Come in, I'm in the kitchen!" Jungkook heard his long-lasting best friend yelling from the kitchen. "I've got so much beer for tonight. You better chug all this shit in or Irene is gonna kill me for wasting so much money on alcohol!"

Jungkook laughed as he entered the kitchen, he fist-bumped Taehyung and chuckled when he saw the whole top shelf of the fridge filled with bottles of beer. Tae didn't laugh with him, instead, focusing his gaze on Jungkook's face, with a slightly disgusted expression on his face. "Dude, you look awful. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. Haven't been sleeping much," he dismissed having to talk about what was wrong since he was pretty sure all his feeling were wrong and Jungkook wasn't the guy to talk about his own feelings.

"And you thought the solution to your sleep problems was spending a night drinking with your buddy?" Taehyung laughed and Jungkook quickly joined, running a hand over his tired features. "Come on, bro, just talk about it. You'll feel better."

"Let it go. I'm not here to talk about my proble-"

"Is it Y/N?" Taehyung interrupted, opening two bottles of beer and handing one to Jungkook.

Jungkook didn't answer for a while, just following Taehyung when he decided to walk towards the living room, where he had left an opened bag of chips.

"Yeah," Jungkook whispered after some time, to which Taehyung hummed knowingly. "I was awful to her last time."

"What did you do?" Tae asked, with a mouth full of chips, just before taking a sip from his beer.

"We were, you know... having sex," Jungkook started, leaning back on the comfortable couch. "I lost my fucking mind, Tae," Jungkook muttered, a disappointed look on his face, as Taehyung. "I was going too hard and she wasn't enjoying it. I made her feel so bad, hyung."

"Dude..." Tae said, noticing how inconsolable his friend looked. "Did you say sorry?"

"Of course I did. But that doesn't fix how I must have made her feel."

"Right," Taehyung muttered, looking at his friend. "Why did it happen, kook? What was on your mind?"

"I'm just stupid, Tae," he chugged almost the entirety of his beer in frustration, with furrowed brows and pouted lips. He stood up and walked towards the kitchen to get another beer, Taehyung supposed. "This client I had in the morning asked for my number after I did a tattoo for her, and I said no because of Y/N! And the girl was hot. Great ass. And I still said no because I was thinking Y/N would hate to know I had given my number to some other chick! Can you imagine that?! What the fuck! Spent the whole day thinking about that and had to take it out on someone."

"Bro..." Taehyung mumbled, looking at his friend with angry eyes, "You're such an asshole.".

"What-"

"Y/N is a great girl. You have no idea what that girl has gone through because of you, for real. And she really likes you. She does. And you just keep treating her like shit."

"It's not my fault I don't feel the same-"

"That's the thing! You do feel the same! And you just keep dismissing your feelings and treating her like crap to try and convince yourself that you really don't feel the same! You tell yourself you feel nothing for Y/N, that she's just a quick fuck, but you're still here, on my sofa, sobbing like a fucking 4-year-old because you hurt her feelings! If that's not caring for her, I don't know what is!"

Jungkook didn't answer. He wouldn't dare face his friend right now - not only because an angry Taehyung was the worst person you could face, but also because he was right. Jungkook knew Taehyung was right but he couldn't face that truth.

"So, my advice is, man up! Get your shit together! Y/N's an amazing girl. She's smart, and she's pretty, and she's has a strong personality - opposite to the basic girls you have been with. I'm surprised she hasn't dumped your ass yet because she deserves so much better! Fucking grow up and own up to your feelings, or let her go because you can't let her suffer for someone like you," Taehyung finished, letting out a long angry sigh. "I need another beer."

That had been the day Jungkook decided he'd let you go.

"Why do you look awful?" Dr.Seokjin asked and you chuckled at his bluntness.

"I've been here for like 36 hours. I think I'm about to pass out," you said, chuckling in pity of yourself, already scrubbing in to assist Dr. Jin in a tumor dissection.

"Go home Y/N, get some rest. I'll page some other resident-"

"What? No, I'm fine! Really!"

"No. Go home. Can't risk you doing a mistake here because you're exhausted. Go."

And you were out of the hospital and in your car in 15 minutes.

You were already in your second year of residency. A lot of time had passed, but it never got less tiring. Not much had changed from the time you had left home to study abroad.

"Y/N!" you heard Felix screech from the other side of the line as soon as you picked up your phone. Felix was a sweet guy and he insisted on keeping in touch with you, calling you every single day. "How you doing?" he asked and you smiled in delight at his care for you, knowing he couldn't see it.

"I'm fine. Tired but fine. Going home now, after 36 hours in the hospital," you said and heard Feliz gasp in shock.

"You spent 36 hours up?" he asked

"We have on-call rooms, but there's never much rest done before you get paged again in here," you chuckled and Felix tsked, in disapproval.

"Alright, then you should get home and sleep. I'll talk to you later!"

"I'll call you when I wake up."

Your place was less than five minutes away from the hospital you worked in. You'd kept that in mind when you searched for a renting apartment to stay in. And you loved your place. It wasn't big or luxurious, but it was cozy and full of your little flowers. Your love for flowers hadn't changed - you still kept your balcony full of those little pretty plants.

You were looking forward to coming home to spray some water on them, but you were left standing at the end of the dark corridor that would lead to your apartment's door, at 4 AM, when you saw a dark silhouette crouched by it. You couldn't see anything but the dark figure, due to the lacking of lighting.

You walked in slow, careful steps towards your door, trying to feel the light switch on the wall. And when you finally felt it underneath your fingers, you took a deep breath before tapping it.

Jungkook.

Jungkook was sat down beside your door. His sleepy eyes opened, looking up and locking with your shocked ones. "Hey..." he whispered, before looking at his phone screen to check the time. He grimaced at how late it was and looked back at you. "Sorry for showing up without saying anythin-"

"What- When did you get here?"

"I've been here for a while, got here yesterday around 3 PM. I'm sorry. I just felt like seeing you. A-and I- I just- I missed you..." he stuttered and looked at the floor beneath your feet. "I know I was a son of a bitch with you, but I- I really like you Y/N. After 2 years, I still spend days thinking of you. And I feel like I'm ready to have you as a... as anything you'd like to be... That's if you want to be anything at all. You can say you don't want anything, or that you already have someone and I guess I'll get on the first plane back home," he chuckled, sending a tentative look your way, but your face was expressionless, he couldn't read it so his gaze got back to the floor. "Sorry, this was a really impulsive decision, to be honest. I just felt like being with you-"

He was cut short by your arms around his neck in a tight embrace, pulling him down, closer to you. He took a while to rationalize what was happening with his eyes wide in shock, but shortly after, his arms were also around your waist and your body was impossibly flushed against his. You hid your face in your neck, inhaling the familiar natural scent of his body. "Missed you," you whispered against his skin as you felt him place a soft kiss on your hair, "so much..."

"I missed you too," Jungkook said back, pulling away from you, to lock eyes with you. And it all felt so familiar, it all felt so good. Jungkook felt like home. And so, you softly pressed your lips against his, feeling him smiling against your lips. One of his hands, which was, previously, around your waist, was placed on the back of your head, deepening the kiss.

"Wait," you pulled away, chuckling at the way his lips followed yours in an attempt to keep kissing you. "We can't make out in the hallway, let me open the door," you laughed and he joined as you turned your back on him to open the door to your apartment.

When you heard the door closing again, you looked over your shoulder, to see a smiley Jungkook staring at you, with his hands behind his back, on the doorknob. "Took you long enough to come looking for me," you teased and he ran his fingers through his hair.

"Figured you must miss me too much already," he answered, making you laugh with hearts in your eyes.

People were hard to figure out. Jungkook was the hardest you'd ever known, but you were willing to try your hardest to crack his shell. Because Jungkook was in love with you and you were in love with him, and to you, that was enough.

It was love, you knew it and he knew it.

#ykihki #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungguk #jungkook reaction #jungkook fanfic #jungkook masterlist #jungkoo #jungkook doctor au #doctor!reader #tattooartist!jungkook #tattoed!jungkook #bad boy jungkook #goodgirlxbadboy

[cursingtoji]

Royals

Pairing: Gojo x Roality/Sorcerer!Reader

Summary: Yuji was told by his sensei that someone very special was coming to evaluate his new cursed energy.

Warning: fem pronouns, slightly suggestive, hickeys, established relationship.

a/n: naruto's anbu uniform is what i based reader's outfit off, so keep that in mind i guess? i apologize if i forgot some tag in the warnings, feel free to point anything out to me. thank u and enjoy <3

“How pontual” Gojo smiled when he felt your presence on the top of the building he was standing along with Yuji.

“Huh?” Yuji looked around confused till he saw a black silhouette behind him.

“Hope you don’t mind Yuji-kun, I wanted a professional opinion and called a friend”.

“Are you sure this is the best place to do this Gojo?” You asked going around the boy with pink hair staring at his figure and sensing his cursed energy.

The building you agreed to meet him was one of the tallest in Tokyo, you could barely see the people on the streets from here.

“Sensei, is your friend a ninja?” Yuji asked, staring back at your figure, your black outfit left no skin to be shown while the kitsune mask covered your whole face and two swords remained crossed at your back.

“You worry too much Princess, don’t you believe I am the strongest?” You frown upon the use of the pet name. Yuji tilted his head to the side.

“I just don’t want things to go out of control” you moved your hands to remove the kitsune mask, your identity would still be protected by the mask that covered your nose and mouth beneath it, but Gojo stopped your hands as soon as you approached him.

“Keep it on until we finish okay?” He smiled, although he did not say anything else this was enough for you to understand he did not want the curse inside Yuji to cross eyes with you. “I’ll explain later, Yuji, now can you give us ten seconds with Sukuna?” Gojo stretched his arms preparing for a quick battle.

You moved to the corner of the building to give him space but still keeping an eye on the pink haired kid.

He was so young...

Black marks soon appeared on the kid’s body and the new cursed energy overwhelmed you making a shiver run up your spine.

As the heir of a clan that for centuries has the ability to control cursed energy, this scared you.

Sukuna’s energy was enough to destroy a big city like Tokyo as easily as a snap of a finger. In the past your clan helped Sukuna by increasing his cursed energy during battles but in the end, your clan also helped destroy Sukuna by suppressing his cursed energy as much as they could. Gojo asked you to come watch a quick demonstration, if the plan succeeded and Yuji managed to live long enough to eat all Sukuna’s fingers, it would be just a matter of time until the king of curses took control of the vessel and attempted some kind of mass destruction. If the time comes you wanted to be able to perform the same act that your clan did in the past.

Although, since Sukuna’s downfall your clan did not act as sorcerers anymore, instead they turned into rulers and politicians, living in big cities as Tokyo and controlling cursed energy just by existing there, a natural balance to the modern world, they would tell you, but none of this changed your mind when you decided to break the chain and become a sorcerer almost ten years ago.

The fight started when Sukuna ran towards Gojo murmuring something about seeing him again. Gojo controlled the situation fast by immobilizing Sukuna on the floor, far enough to not harm you.

“So?” Gojo asked, looking at your direction.

“You asked me to not do anything so I can’t say for sure, but I think it’s possible” you answered the white haired man.

Sukuna’s attention now was brought to you, he tried to read your cursed energy, you sensed that, but with the kitsune mask covering your face and eyes you doubt he recognized you as part of the clan that caused his downfall one thousand years ago.

Gojo again smiled at you, proud of you being able to take such a fast reading without messing with Sukuna’s energy, which he asked you to not do.

It would be better for everyone if Sukuna doesn’t make a target of you so soon.

“Alright, guess we are done for now” Gojo raised as soon as Yuji took back control of his body. You watched amazed as the cursed energy came back to a normal level.

Gojo asked Ijichi to drive Yuji back to the school and promised to talk to Yuji in the morning.

“I don’t know, Satoru. There’s only so much I can do alone, and I’m sure the rest of my clan won’t get involved with Sukuna if he returns. This is a huge responsibility for me...” you stopped talking, not even wanting to consider the possibility of such a powerful curse having complete control to do whatever he pleases and you not being able to do much by yourself.

“I won’t put you in danger, but for now it would be good if you could stick around Yuji, just to observe... I can put a good word for you with Yaga” Gojo dropped his arm around your shoulder playfully.

“You really want me to stay at jujutsu tech Tokyo just to keep an eye on him?” You removed the kitsune mask, now allowing Gojo to see your teasing eyes.

“I have my own selfish reasons too”.

The next morning Yuji crossed his path with Nanami around the school, having worked together once Yuji felt comfortable with asking Nanami about his sensei’s friend.

“Oi Nanami, do you know Gojo-sensei’s ninja friend? I met them last night but still don’t know what happened”.

Nanami stared at Yuji like he was speaking some foreign language “...Ninja?”

The elder was about to ask him to elaborate when the said sensei turned around the corner with you by his side.

“Gojo-san, Ojou-sama” Nanami bowed low when he noticed you coming closer.

“Ojou-sama?” Yuji looked at the person walking to them alongside Gojo. He did not recognize you at first, you now were using a colored Yukata and nothing covering your face.

“Nanami please, you know me long enough to drop this title” you smiled at your friend.

Yuji quickly made the connection between Nanami using the princess title and Gojo calling you Princess yesterday.

“Oh sensei, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend. You two make a beautiful couple” Yuji smiled.

“Itadori, show respect, Y/n-sama is an actual royal” Nanami whispered to Yuji.

After the downfall of Sukuna your clan reigned for a while, being the heir of the main clan branch and if your clan was still reigning that would technically make you a princess. Nanami insisted on referring to you as Ojou-sama in public even though you two attended school together years ago and long passed the formal titles.

“Sorry” Yuji bowed, still confused.

“It’s okay Itadori-kun, we will have enough time to get to know each other” you assured the pink haired boy.

“You are moving here?” Nanami asked.

“Isn’t it great?” Gojo smiled widely, now placing his arms on your shoulders and Nanami’s. “It will be like old times again”.

“Yaga accepted my request to stay on the campus and assist the kids,” you explained Nanami. Of course he knew that by ‘the kids’ you mean Itadori and his new found cursed energy.

“What a great set of teachers you will have Yuji-kun” Gojo tight his grip around you and Nanami “Why don’t you go find Fushiguro and Kugusaki while I show y/n her room?”.

“Yes, sensei!” Yuji smiled and bowed again before leaving to find his team mates.

“Let’s keep y/n secret between us, okay Nanami?” Gojo asked now that the three of you were alone. “Sukuna might not find out about y/n’s origins if she doesn’t mess with his or Itadori’s energy, the elders agreed to keep her around for now as protection”.

“I see… Well let me know if you need anything, Ojou-sama” Namami replied and fixed his tie.

“I need you to stop using that title, Kento” you smiled again at your stubborn friend and dropped Gojo’s arm from your shoulder going back to the path that led to your dorm.

“Always so polite, Nanamin” Gojo teased “Just don’t forget I’m the only one allowed to get on my knees for her” he released Nanami’s shoulder leaving his fellow sorcerer flushed.

“What did you tell him?” you asked Gojo when he got back to your side.

“Nothing he doesn’t know already” his large palm touched your lower back.

Your arrangements with Gojo were something known only by the heads of your clan, the two of you and few close friends. A promise made almost ten years ago allowed you to attend jujutsu tech and become a sorcerer if the only descendant of the Gojo clan married you by the time both of you got to your thirties. There was nothing in it for Satoru, but he agreed even though he barely left his teenage years.

“Satoru, What are we gonna do now?” you asked looking at your feet.

“We can start by getting you a pretty uniform, maybe a short skirt and a v-line” the hand that wasn’t at your back moved to the collar of your Yukata exposing more of your neck and collar bones and all the purple and blue marks painted there “A masterpiece like that has to be shown”.

“You are shameless” you slapped his hand away and adjusted your Yukata back. His flirty personality taking your mind away from the new responsibility of being Yuji’s guardian. “You know, we are two years away from the arrangements and I still wonder why you accepted it” you confessed, stopping in your tracks.

“Oh Princess, I’ll always be taking the side of rebel soul and you so happened to be the one that stole my heart from day one, you are not getting cold feet now, are ya?” he leaned and placed his arm on the wall behind you, an old habit that made you flushed when you two were younger, but now you can only bite your lips and raise a hand to lower his blindfold and meet his shining eyes full of admiration.

“Marrying the prince that saved me and the strongest jujutsu sorcerer? How could I get scared of that?”.

“Prince huh? I can get used to it”.

© all content belongs to cursedmoonchild. please do not modify or repost; if you find reposted content please let me know, i have not consented to the repost of my content

#gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jjjk #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x y/n #jjk x y/n #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #cmc.fics #jjk imagines

[weasleypogues]

help pt.2 (r.c.)

after lots of requests asking for a part two!! i decided fuck it and to make it! hope u all enjoy! :) xxxxxx

part one here if you haven’t read it already! 

masterlist.

after being in a relationship with rafe for a year now, you know how he handles his feelings and rationalizes them. it’s simple, he doesn’t. you’d watch and hear about him getting into fights with his sisters which was normal for siblings but you can see how he blew them out of proportion. 

you knew for one thing that you weren’t in this relationship to solely be his therapist and fix him but you loved him and you help the ones you love. even if that means acknowledging that they may be in the wrong and helping them come to that realization to rationalize it. 

however, no matter how many times you helped him and talked through everything with him, there were some nights in which a conversation was no use. there were only so many times that he felt as if he deserved help and other times where he resorted to drugs and drinking to ease his thoughts. 

even though watching him blow your date off and throw a party as an excuse to push away his thoughts, you still cared for him. so when you walked away you didn’t hop in your car and speed off, but you invited yourself inside the large and dark house. you tiptoed your way to his room, not fully knowing who was home and who was asleep. 

you found yourself in front of his door and placed your hand on the knob, turning it slightly and hearing the familiar creak of the hinges. you smelt the faint hint of the shower he had taken after you left and before the party. your eyes easily trailed the the outfit at the foot of his bed. it was not the outfit that you left him in and came to the conclusion that this was the outfit he was going to take you out in. you took a few steps to that outfit and lightly let your fingers trail along the stitching and buttons of his shirt, finally grasping it as tight as you could as you felt a lump in your throat form. 

“(y/n)?” you heard a faint voice call out. you spun around and were face to face with wheezie who had her hair in two french braids and in her pajamas. she shined her phone in your direction to get a better look. you softly smiled and walked towards her, taking her in for a hug.

“hi wheeze. sorry, did i wake you?” you asked thoughtfully, pulling away and taking your shoes off in his doorway to throw them to the side. she put down her phone as her eyes finally adjusted to the moonlight shining in. 

“nope, i could feel the bass bumping outside from here.” she chuckled. you looked into her soft brown eyes for a second and felt a tinge of guilt. you always tried to sympathize with everyone and put yourself in their shoes. you couldn’t imagine how wheezie felt. this was not the easiest household to grow up in, regardless of how it looks on the outside. she was only thirteen and already had her heartbroken. by her brother and father. and no matter how many times they pushed her to the side in their own frantics, she still put on a brave face and loved them. she was not as in the dark as she let off to be. she was intelligent and knew how to formulate her thoughts and actions. 

“oh shit yeah, i’m sorry.” you apologized on behalf of rafe. she gave you a soft smile and shook her head, allowing one braid to fall from her shoulder to behind her back.

“don’t apologize for him, this is nothing new.” wheezie laughed off. you smiled off the situation as well, just accepting it at this point.

“what do you say we go out into town for brunch tomorrow? you and i?” you inquired, as a way of letting her know that you were there for her. because if you were there for rafe, you had to be there for everything that came from this relationship, and that meant his little sisters. a big smile grew on her face that warmed your heart and she nodded her head fast.

“totally down! i’ll start looking up cute places on google and let you know!” wheezie exclaimed, trying to contain some of her excitement. she turned around and excitedly ran back to her room upstairs. you closed rafe’s door, not all the way in hopes of letting some light from the hallway in. 

making your way to his bathroom, you invited yourself to some of your toiletries that he practically begged you to keep here as an excuse to stay over more often. you grabbed make up wipes and your toothbrush and settled yourself before grabbing a tshirt of his and sliding off your dress. you placed your phone on the nightstand next to the bed, claiming your usual side of the bed before sliding under and shutting your eyes.

this slumber, if you could even call it that, felt like at least ten minutes when rafe had woken you up by barging through his door at least three hours later. your eyes fluttered open and tried their hardest to adjust quickly to the hallway light he was letting shine in your face. his glossy eyes lazily landed on your body under his covers and you swear you could see his shoulders relax. you gave your body a slight stretch and grabbed onto the top of the blanket and opened it up as an invite for rafe to hop in. rafe kicked off his shoes and stumbled his way to bed, which made your heart hurt a little.

“i thought you went home.” he slightly slurred, his eyes closing. he was lying on his back with the arm further from your resting on his forehead. the room must be spinning right now. 

“i thought about it and maybe i had every right to, but i didn’t want to leave you.” you responded, in a mousier voice than you realized as this was the first words to leave your mouth since you woke up. 

“why not? i fucking blew you off tonight. it was shitty.” he answered truthfully. you took a second and watched his chest rise and fall as he awaited an answer. you knew you were not here to be his savior but you were here to love him. 

“it was shitty...but. but i know it’s because your psych yourself out and maybe feel like your in a valley rather than a peak. when your in peaks i love to see the smile on your face and make all these great memories with you. but when you’re in valleys, that is not the time for me to run and let you deal with everything on your own. i’m here to back you up and love you for you.” you responded, keeping your eyes on his rising and falling chest and letting your hand make it’s way to the center of it, feeling the faint beat of his heart. he took the free hand he had and grabbed your hand from his chest and kissed the top of it. 

“i love you, (y/n).” rafe whispered, leaning over and kissing the top of your head. you both instinctively snuggled closer to each other and you could feel him squeeze you protectively. the moonlight and body warmth helped both of you fall asleep rather quickly. 

--

waking up to the sunlight in the room shining through his two windows was almost as comforting as the fact that you woke up on your stomach with your hand still placed on his chest and his own hand resting on top of that. you could still feel the faint pitter patter and smiled softly to yourself. you slightly sat up to check the time on his nightstand where his clock sat. 9:17. you rolled your eyes playfully, thinking of the last time you saw that time, was last night when you hopped out of your car in front of his house. circumstances and conversations were different. 

you slowly slid out from under the covers and made your way to the bathroom to freshen up quickly and grabbing a pair of his basketball shorts before heading to the kitchen for some water. grabbing a glass and filling it as quietly as you could you heard faint footsteps grow in volume as they entered the kitchen. you swiftly turned around and saw sarah walk in, opening up the fridge.

“mornin’.” sarah said, groggily and grabbing pre-made cold brew out of the fridge. you smiled softly as you brought the glass once at your lips down to the marble counter.

“morning. wheeze and i are going out to grab brunch if you wanna come out and make it a girls day!” you stated, lightly tapping your fingers against the glass. she made a face with a smile that looked like she was considering it and raised her eyebrows.

“i think i’ll take you up on that offer.” sarah responded, running a hand through her bed head and taking a sip. you smiled and felt slightly relieved, you and sarah were always nice to each other and were once even close but her and rafe’s relationship made you nervous to overstep. but you had to admit you missed how close you two were. 

making your way back to rafe’s bedroom, you noticed his eyes fluttering open and he stretched, groaning in the meanwhile. he brought his hands to his head and rubbed his temples. 

“need some advil babe?” you chuckled, grabbing the pill bottle from his dresser and going to hand him your glass of water. he groaned in response. as you handed the pill bottle to him, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back in to bed. you couldn’t handle the scream that escaped your lips as you accidentally poured the water from your cup on the both of you. 

he grabbed the cup and put it on the nightstand and wrapped his hands around your waist. rafe began planting kisses all over your face until you pulled away with a giant smile and realized you were straddling him. he smirked and checked you out before making his way back up to your eyes.

“i can get used to this sight.” rafe flirted and you felt your cheeks go hot as you rolled off of him. 

“i gotta get ready.” you stated, chuckling and getting off the bed. you watched him dry swallow two ibuprofen and look at you with a shocked look on his face.

“get ready?” rafe said exasperatedly, lifting his torso off his bed and sitting up. you playfully rolled your eyes and grabbed your phone off the bed next to him. 

“indeed. i’m having a girls only brunch with your sisters.” you said, flashing him a cheeky smile. he groaned and rolled his eyes, letting his body fall dramatically back on his bed. “oh, don’t be dramatic.” you heard his chuckle slightly fade out and you glanced over at him as he stared off into space.

“can you come back here later? or maybe i come to you? help me figure some of this “seeing someone to talk to” shit out. i don’t think i can do it alone.” he muttered, clearly a little embaraassed to admit it. you did not hesitate to walk over to him and grab his face in your hands before planting a kiss on his lips.

“anything for you, my love.” you whispered in front of his face and looked longingly into his eyes. you appreciated softer moments like this that reminded you of the sweet times you both had together. you pulled away after one more kiss. “i’m with you every step of the way.” 

you stuck your pinky out to him and he again, playfully rolled his eyes, attempting to withhold the display of the oncoming smile on his face. he linked his pinky in yours and you both kissed your thumbs.

“i’m with you every step of the way.” he repeated. you both unlinked your fingers but let your hands graze each other as you walked closer to his doorframe. 

“sarah, wheezie! ready whenever you are!” you yelled up, hearing two pairs of footsteps only a few moments after. you looked back and rafe winked at you as he put his hands behind his head. you laughed and caught up with his sisters in the foyer.

you were with each other every step of the way.

#obx #obx imagines #obx x reader #obx headcanon #john b routledge #topper thorton #jj maybank #pope heyward #kiara carrera #sarah cameron #wheezie cameron #rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagines #rafe #rafe cameron headcanon #rafe x y/n #rafe x you #Outer Banks #outer banks imagines #outer banks masterlist

[solarwonux]

Payment Due! || Jeon Wonwoo (5/7)

Pairing: Camboy!Wonwoo x f!reader || sex worker au!

w.c: 6.2k

Genre: 18+ smut, fluff, angst

Warnings: angst, suggestive, mentions of sex toys, kind off fluffy. I’m terribly sorry lmao

Synopsis: HYBE U one of the top highly prestigious universities in the country. A shithole, a total money making scam that liked to sucked the life out of its students. Not being able to meet the funds to pay for your tuition your best friend lets you in a little secret. A way he’s been keeping afloat for years now, easy money. The problem is you want in.

a/n: I honestly can’t believe I was able to get this up, I literally didn’t think it would happen, It’s been a crazy week over. Honestly just to be sure I am going to change to just say I am going to upload between friday and saturday. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH THOUGH FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE AND UNDERSTANDING IT AND ALSO FOR LIKING THIS STORY SO MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL.xx

Masterlist | prev | next

Tunnel vision 

Wonwoo was in such a state of panic that he forgot to press the button to your floor. He stood there in the back corner of the elevator, his back against the cold metal, while your moans got increasingly louder through his phone speaker. It wasn’t until his neighbor, with an odd look, one in between curiosity and disgust, that he realized that his phone was at full volume and he had been standing staring at the ten little numbered buttons for longer than he intended. Stumbling, he exited the app not before taking in your appearance, close to your orgasm. His heart hurt. He was supposed to be there with you. Pleasing you. A dirty little secret that would go unnoticed by everyone except the two of you. 

Why did you do it? The two of you promised to not let the whole camming business get in between the two of you. And it had done exactly that. He wasn’t sure how to face you when he was so angry and sad at the same time. Where he wanted to hurt you and apologize to you. He was so confused, probably as confused as the old lady who waved her tan wrinkly hand in front of his face. He noticed that she was talking to him, her face morphed into worry. 

Wonwoo was frozen, his bloodstream turning sour, his heart pounding against his hot ears. The only thing replaying in his head was the look of mischief behind your eyes when he opened the app. He could hear the sound of your moans mixing with the sound of his heart breaking. It came fast, the ever approaching headache he had tried his hardest to prevent the past three days. 

“Sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking at the end of the simple word, because even that was hard for him to get out. How the fuck was he going to face you and spill out all the things he had been keeping from you? Starting with how angry he was and ending with how sorry he was. 

The old lady only nodded, stepping aside, holding her mail keys close to her chest. Wonwoo pushed himself away from the elevator walls. Scrunching up his nose as he finally took in the unpleasant smell of metal and pressed the number five. He turned to face his neighbor, silently asking the floor she needed to go to even though Wonwoo very much knew. Both of them were frequent partners when it came to fetching the mail, but he still felt like he needed to ask. 

It was a way to put some normalcy in the obscure scene she had walked into. She didn’t answer him, instead kept her eyes trained on one of the four corners of the elevator. It was like she could sense his panic, especially when Wonwoo pressed the number to your floor. The two of you were her favorite neighbors, frequently mumbling a nostalgic ‘young love’ underneath her breath when she caught the two of you either bickering or laughing. Her mail could wait, but she knew Wonwoo couldn’t and a trip down to the first floor would delay everything. 

The second the metal doors started to creak open, Wonwoo rushed out, squeezing himself through a wide enough gap. He ran, his breathing increased and by the time he was standing in front of your front door. He was panting like he had just finished competing in a triathlon. 

He scrambled to unlock your front door. Getting the passcode wrong the first three tries. Which frustrated him because why was he suddenly forgetting his own birthday? He finally managed to get it right the fourth time; 1996717 he repeated to himself, obsessively as he opened your door. It took his mind away from the ache he was feeling all throughout his body. 

Quickly, he kicked off his slides and made his way through your apartment. Your phone lighting up in missed calls and text messages next to a half empty glass of rosé on your coffee table, a bowl of half eaten caramel popcorn and Clueless paused on your projected screen. Instantly he knew your decision was a spur of the moment one, otherwise you wouldn’t be watching your comfort movie. 

He felt his breath speed up again and without a second thought he took off his hoodie. A shiver ran throughout his body, causing the goosebumps to rise against the cold air of your apartment. He’s strides got longer and faster as he made his way down the hallway, gripping the soft cotton tightly. The guest bedroom was ajar, he could see you, pressing your light pink silicone vibrator against your clit, no doubt trying to pull another orgasm from you from the way your body was already shaking. He frowned, the pings only got louder and faster, you were mumbling incoherently, whining. Sounds he was supposed to pull from you, sounds meant for him only along with the look of total bliss painted on your face. 

It was enough to send his body into autopilot. Not like it wasn’t running on autopilot before it had just kicked in a bit later than expected. He pushed the door open hard enough for it to hit the wall. You jumped up screaming in complete horror, your arms flying up to cover yourself. Wonwoo didn’t look, he couldn’t. Not unless he wanted to sink to his knees and use his mouth the way he had been fantasizing for weeks now. 

Instead, he walks past you, throwing you his hoodie, “Cover up.” He grumbles stepping in front of his webcam, leaning in enough to cover you completely. He didn’t bother to look at the comments because he knew they were angry, but he could care less right now there were more pressing matters at hand. Number one being to put an end to your stream, so that’s what he did. With a shaky hand he got a hold of his mouse and clicked the red button, ending it. Like second nature he deleted the video from his page, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from screaming when he saw that you weren’t using an incognito tab. Closing the tab he silently hoped that no one had been too consumed in their own pleasure or smart enough to start tracking you down.

“I was in the middle of something.” You say bitterly, your throat closing up, your body shrinking in on itself flushed with embarrassment. You kept your arms around you, shivering. The light buzz of  your long forgotten vibrator humming against the bed sheets. 

Wonwoo turns around, his jaw tense, arms crossed in front of his naked chest. “Cover up, I’m running you a bath.” He says before walking out of the room. His anger wavering behind, engulfing you like a heated blanket, making you visibly uncomfortable. Still you put on his hoodie, letting it stick onto you like second skin. 

You hated it. But his scent was so comforting, something you needed so desperately right now that you didn’t care. 

In hindsight going live on Wonwoo’s account wasn’t the best idea. But then again, you only knew how to maneuver things from his account. The last two times you had done this, with him, he was the one that set everything up. While you peered over his shoulder, barely paying attention, focused more on your nerves rather than learning in case he were to ask you to get things going. And because you were more than positive that you would never go live without him. 

What a sweet and naive dream. 

You fumbled with your hands, pulling and pushing the sleeves of his sweatshirt. For the first time in the last few days your mind was blank, zoning in on your embarrassment and Wonwoo’s anger. Praying he was more upset than disappointed, because you could handle Wonwoo being upset with you, not disappointed. That was something you could not handle, probably would not be able to survive because it only meant that you crossed a line. A line you would not be able to return from. 

“So dumb,” you whisper to yourself burrying your head in your hands. Slowly letting go of the tears you had refused to spill after your fight with Wonwoo. You knew you shouldn’t have done what you did, you knew it was your way of getting underneath his skin. A low blow on your part when you remembered the fear that had flashed through his eyes after he firmly made you promise not to ever show your face on camera. After he had underlined the rule in five different colored pens when you printed them out for him. 

And you had done just that. Betrayed him in a way that sent you off into the void. To the point of no return. 

“Let’s go.” Wonwoo whispers, helping you stand up. Silently he guides you to your bathroom. Lights dim, illuminated by non scented candles. The smell of lavender hits your nose and it only makes you cry harder. Even upset, Wonwoo always put you first and it was so unfair. Especially after everything you had just done. 

He stands in front of you, brings his hoodie up, letting it fall down to your feet. “Careful, please.” He wipes away your tears with the pad of his thumbs and guides you to the tub. Holding your arm as you slowly sink down into it. The heat of the water, warming you up, turning your bones into mush and it only made you cry even harder. 

“I-I’m sorry Woo. It’s not an excuse b-but I w-was so angry.” You hiccup, hugging your knees up to your chest, shutting your eyes as he pours water over your head. He doesn’t say anything, instead continues to pour water over your head until your hair is drenched and dripping. It scares you how quiet he is, barely lets out a hum as he reaches out for your shampoo. “Can you please say something.” You sniffle, closing your eyes tightly. 

Maybe he didn’t care. That’s why he wasn’t saying anything. You expected him to blow up, curse like the words tasted like candy to him. This you weren’t expecting and it scared you beyond belief, because as the silence made its way underneath your floorboards and over the two of you. The thought of never seeing him again after tonight was starting to become more and more real. 

If only you could go back in time and never suggested joining him in the first place. The two of you would still be thinking the world of one another and you would’ve lived in denial a bit longer. Sure you would have probably been in an overwhelming amount of debt but that reality was better than the one you were living in now. 

Losing your best friend and first love all in the same night. 

Wonwoo places his palm over your forehead, “Close your eyes.” He states making you nod doing as he says. He pours water over you again, repeatedly,  rinsing your shampoo out of your hair, until it’s all gone. You wrap your arms around your chest, bringing your knees down sitting criss-cross applesauce. The cold starts to seep in and your teeth start clattering. Wonwoo huries, applying your conditioner to the ends of your hair, combs through it carefully using your hot pink wide tooth comb, and lets it sit as he starts to wash the rest of your body. He’s practically racing against time. He can feel your body grow colder as he swipes your soapy sponge all over your back. He swallows hard when he reaches your shoulder, scrubbing gently as he makes his way down the front of your body, making you freeze. 

For some reason, for the two of you. This felt far more intimate than anything that had occurred between the two of you the past two weeks. He was supposed to be angry, not thinking of ways to open his heart up to you. So he starts to think of things that were inherently sexual like strawberries, though the thought of having you naked, biting into one as he watches the juice run down your lips and chin, enough for him to lick it up, quickly makes its way into his head. So he changes the page, tries to remember the lecture notes completely abandoned on his desk back home and quickly rinses the rest of your body along with your hair. 

He stands up clearing his throat and grabs your fluffy white towel, holding it wide open. “Be careful when you stand up.” He mumbles, focusing his eyes on your white bathroom tiles. You nod and get up using the side of your tub as guidance.

It was frustrating. Dancing around the topic. Letting the elephant in the room stomp all over the two of you. His jaw was clenched in anger and no matter how hard he tried to hide his shaking hands, they were in full display as he waited for you to walk into them. So, you did exactly that. Without hesitation he wraps his arms around you, pulling you in close, squeezing you to the point you couldn’t breathe. If you didn’t know any better you’d think he was attempting to suffocate you to death. With a sigh, he rested his chin on top of your head, breathing in deeply, counting by twos all the way to one hundred, and you start crying again.

It would’ve been better if he was screaming at you. Expressing his evident anger and disappointment in you. But him staying silent, deflecting everything while you tore yourself apart inside was worse. 

“I’ll make you some tea, get dressed and I’ll meet you in your room.” He pulls away, sweeping his thumbs underneath your eyes, taking your tears with him. A pained expression running past his warm eyes. That’s when you knew he was beating himself up inside too. He didn’t want part two of the fight at the bookstore. He was usually good at keeping his emotions in check, but hearing those words fall out of your perfect lips with equal amounts of sincerity and pain blinded him. 

One second he was next to Maya, the next he was screaming things he shouldn’t have even thought about. Before he could take in the entire situation Maya was dragging him out of the store, worried beyond belief. 

He didn’t want part two of that ever. 

“Okay.” You nod, holding the towel up to keep it from falling. Wonwoo takes one last look at you, then the white bathroom tiles and finally the broken reflection of the two of you through your bathroom mirror. He takes another deep breath and turns around fast enough to give anyone whiplash. He knew if he stayed any longer in your presence he’d be falling on his knees, begging for your forgiveness while chasing your sweet relief. 

So he walks out. 

Wonwoo walks into your room wearing his hoodie from earlier holding a steaming hot cup of chamomile tea tightly in his hand. After brushing your hair, putting it in a braid because you couldn’t be bothered to dry it and getting dressed. You laid down on your bed, covering yourself with your fleece blanket, listening to Wonwoo loudly make his way throughout your apartment. You figured he was cleaning up while waiting for the kettle to boil.  

That’s something the two of you had in common. Whenever anxious, upset or sad, cleaning was somehow always the solution. It gave the two of you a sense of balance. A way to clear your head and assess the situation before acting out irrationally. That’s why whenever the two of you had fights, they never grew into something more. 

That is until now. Everything was so fucked, so confusing. Your head was so entangled that you didn’t know if there was a way to fix anything without cutting each other off completely. Especially with the way your heart was behaving, refusing to let him go even though he didn’t belong to you anymore. 

“I’m upset.” He states, placing down a cork coaster on your bedside table and placing your mug on top of it. “I can’t understand why you would do such a thing even after I told you how dangerous it was.” He sighs, taking a seat in front of you placing his hands on top of your covered thighs. “I just don’t want what happened to me to happen to you.” He finishes. His confession dawns on you, leaving you speechless. 

A story, an experience had been left untouched between the two of you and with how Wonwoo’s gaze traveled around your room nervously, it was a story he wasn’t ready to tell. But definitely one he couldn’t keep inside any longer. In a way he blames himself and his inability to let you in on something so scarring for what you had done. But at the same he knew that regardless if he had told you or not, your anger sometimes got the best of you and your uncalculated brain would take over. 

“What happened?” You whisper, placing your hand over his, squeezing it gently. He retrieves his gaze, by now he had started counting the colorful pom pom balls you hung around your room when you first moved in. Another interior design project he helped you out on. He was so imprinted in your life and you were so imprinted in his. That the decision he had made earlier while he was washing your dishes haunted him. Pained him to the point he wanted to leave, build a time machine and reset everything. To a moment in life where the two of you ceased to exist in each other’s lives.

He felt awful for thinking about it. But a part of him had convinced himself that without him, your life would be better. 

He swallows, scooting himself closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you close. It’s something he shouldn’t be doing but he needed to feel you close to him. “When I first started doing this, I wasn’t as careful as I am now. I was learning, and so excited because of the amount of money I was making in one sitting that I didn’t think everything through.”

He pauses, bringing his attention to your joined hands with a painful smile. “I started a sexual relationship with an older man who would watch my streams. He messaged me once out of blue and I stupidly entertained the idea. After five months I found he was married and had two daughters, I tried to stop, but I liked the way he treated me, like there was nothing wrong with me and I loved the way he showered me with presents and money so I pushed the fact I was being selfish and meddling in a situation that I didn’t belong in.” He takes a deep breath, resting his head on top of your chest, “He started to want more. Would talk about how he wanted to run away with me and leave his family behind so I told him that we should stop talking. I thought it was okay, that it was good because he didn’t contact me for two weeks.” 

“Wonwoo why di-” 

“Christian showed up at school, waited until I left my last class of the day and cornered me when I walked out. That’s when I realized that he was having me followed for those two weeks. That the cryptic emails I ignored because I thought they were spam were a warning. Maya was there, she wasn’t my lab partner at the time but she saw how scared I was as I tried to get away from him, that she came and whisked me away using the project we had been assigned as an excuse.” 

“Wait, Maya knew?” You furrow your brows, resting your hand against his shoulder, squeezing it gently making him sigh. 

Wonwoo nods, shutting his eyes, nosing your neck gently. Your smell always managed to comfort him, it made him feel safe and all warm inside. “After that day I got threatening letters in the mail. Unlabeled packages that I was so scared to open that I just threw away and so was Maya. That’s when I decided to take everything to court, to get a restraining order against him, because now he wasn’t just messing with me but with someone that I had started to care about also. And I was so scared that he would eventually find out about you, find out what you meant to me and somehow make your life much worse than mine just because you knew me, and I couldn’t let that happen. So I fought so hard and eventually after weeks, almost a month I was granted a restraining order because that’s the only thing the judge could grant me, even though his charges were enough to land him at least fifteen years in jail.” He sighs, “I guess that’s what having money really means.” 

It’s silent, enough to hear the exact moment the air conditioning turns on. Your mouth runs dry from the lack of words you have to offer him. You want to say so much but so little at the same time, and no matter in what direction you took it. The words you had to offer him wouldn’t be the right ones. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You whisper, pushing his body away and placing your palms on his cheeks, red as the color of brick. His skin burns to the touch and you see the disappointment flash through him. It pains you but that’s the only thing you could think of saying. Putting your own curiosity above his hurt, but then again you weren’t the person he entrusted in and found comfort in back then so why should you be that person now? The situation was long gone and over, his heart had already started to heal and his fear had long disappeared. If not he wouldn’t have kept camming, so truly what role did you have now but to wonder why he kept such a secret from you for so long?

Wonwoo scoffs, removing his arms from your body. “I know you, you would’ve demanded why I was talking to Christian, how I met him and would have made me feel even worse than what I already felt. You would’ve also inserted yourself into the problem, giving him a free pass to mess with you too.” 

You poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue, clicking it before rolling your eyes. “Thanks for telling me what you really think of me.” You stand up, laughing bitterly. “I feel so fucking stupid, all these years I spent falling for you, trusting you were all a waste because fuck I knew you would never feel the same way as me but I at least thought you trusted me.” 

“What?” He stands up, ignoring the last part of your rant, rolling up your fleece blanket in a ball and throwing it onto your bed. “This is exactly why I didn’t tell you. I knew you would react this way.” He exclaims, taking a deep breath. “And what you’ve done tonight was so stupid. I can’t even begin to imagine what those creeps are doing now, getting your IP address like it’s a piece of cake and now I have to figure out a way to fix it.” 

“I don’t need you too!” You exclaim harshly.” “I’m sorry Wonwoo for being such an inconvenience in your life, but I’ve told you time and time again that I’m capable of taking care of myself. I know how to defend myself. I’m not stupid.” You shake your head, running your hands over your face in frustration. “I know I fucked up, I know okay I already feel like shit and I’m completely terrified but if you’re going to act like being around me and protecting me -” you say adding air quotes, “is such a chore when that was your decision and your decision alone then I don’t want you to be here.” 

“It wouldn’t feel like such a chore if you were just honest with me from the start.” 

You throw your hands up in the air, “Are you serious? This again? Why should I Wonwoo when you’ve been keeping shit from me too and shit that’s serious?” You huff, “If you really want to know then all you need to do is look in the mirror Wonwoo, cause the person I’m in love with is you and I hate it because I know you don’t feel the same w-way.” You cringe at the way your voice breaks at the end. This wasn’t how you wanted to confess but it was easier than having it bloom into something more. Now that it was out there, now that you were positive that after today you would never see Wonwoo again. You could finally start to allow yourself to move on. Your head didn’t need to be plagued with a bunch of what if’s, when they ceased to exist. 

“M-Me?” The little air he had in his lungs leaves him and finally feels that suffocating feeling you had been struggling with since Saturday. “Why didn’t you t-tell me?” He pushes out. It feels like he’s drowning but being saved at the same time. Half of him, the half that is so sure that you’re the only one for him feels alive. But the other half is sending out warning signals, to turn around and run away, never looking back. To him you’re more than enough, you’re absolutely everything he dreams about at night. His absolute angel, carved to perfection, but he’s scared that he will never be that for you. 

Sure your words are saying something, but what happens after a month? After the two of you cross that forbidden line that was crossed long before? You’d finally realize the kind of person Wonwoo is. The side he kept hidden from you because he hated it more than anything in this world. He can’t bring himself to put you and himself through that heartbreak. One that will hurt more than the one the two of you are experiencing now. 

“How could I? When I finally admitted it to myself I was already too late and you had Maya.” 

Wonwoo shakes his head, “I don’t have Maya, she doesn’t feel the same way. Told me a day before our date.” He shrugs and takes a seat at the edge of your bed, pulling on the sleeves of his hoodie. 

You do a double take, standing frozen by your dresser, “You went on a date though, I saw you two at the bookstore.” 

Wonwoo smiles sadly, “We went on the date because she felt bad for agreeing and so instead she begged me to let her be my wingwoman.” He shrugs, a faint blush forming on his cheeks. 

Now you’re confused, more than before, “So she can be your wingwoman but I can’t?” You cross your arms, pouting childishly. 

“I can’t have the person I love be her own wingwoman, I’m positive it doesn’t work that way.” 

Time stops. Just like how you always imagined it when it came to confessing to Wonwoo or the other way around. Though you never expected it to go this way. It’s all too much, too overwhelming, your body vibrating from equal amounts of happiness and fear. 

For the third time in the night you’re left without words. Wonwoo is nervously looking everywhere but you, fidgeting with the ribboned sleeves of his hoodie to hide his shaking hands, his leg bouncing anxiously. You’ve never seen him so scared but at the same time so relieved. A confident, smug look on his face, resembling a kid who just kissed someone on the playground behind the slides. 

A part of you wants to slap him while the other part of you wants to kiss him. 

“You’re lying.” You whisper.

“I’m not. This is something I will never lie about.” He sighs, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from breaking out into a smile. 

You walk over to him and sit down, “Now what?” 

“I honestly don’t know.” He sighs, placing his arm over your shoulders, “I’m sorry for being such an ass. You’re not an inconvenience to me and you never will be.” He tucks you into his side, fingers skating down the side of your arm in a ghost like manner. “I went to the bookstore on Saturday to tell you how I felt because I couldn’t wait, but then I walked in and heard you tell Minghao that you were in love, I got so angry at myself for realizing it too late.” He stops placing a gentle kiss against the crown of your head. “I was so convinced that the feelings I had for you were just platonic until Maya made me realize they weren’t.” 

You laugh because it took Minghao prying it out of you to realize that what you felt for Wonwoo was beyond words. “We’re pretty stupid aren’t we.” You tilt your head up to look at him, eyes, rimmed red from crying, glimmering with wonder against the pale yellow light of your bedside table lamp. “I’m sorry too for tonight. I didn’t think it through and just did the first thing I knew was going to hurt you the most.” You wrap your arms around his waist, burying your head inside the crock of his neck. “It’s no excuse but I’m so so so sorry Woo.” 

“It did hurt and it was stupid, probably top ten of the stupidest things you have ever done.” He chuckles, massaging your arm. “But everything is going to be okay. I deleted the stream right after I stopped the broadcast and the website doesn’t allow any screen recording or screen caps. And I know you don’t need me protecting you, but I swear if anyone comes near you, you’ll be visiting me in prison.” 

“I heard their lunch menu has improved, it probably wouldn’t be so bad.” You joke, pinching the side of his arm making him retrieve into himself, sending you a pointed look. 

“It’d be pretty hard to have a wedding there, but if that’s what you like then I can try and pull some strings.” 

Your body grows hot at the thought of marrying him. Truthfully you had never let yourself dream that far into the future. You always figured that he didn’t reciprocate your feelings so you always cut the bud before the daydream got to grand. But now that you knew that he was in love with you, totally irrevocably in love with you. Conjuring up that daydream felt nice and you never wanted it to stop. 

“You’re so cute.” 

You whine, eyes growing wide and you bury your face into his neck again, nosing his chin gently making him shudder at the incredibly intimate gesture. Intimate in his books of course because it was enough to fire up his insides like a forest fire. 

Wonwoo loved it. 

After a moment of silence, basking in the afterglow of a love so real it overwhelmed the entire solar system; you finally clear your throat raising to face him. “What now?” 

This was the moment Wonwoo didn’t want to face. In fact, if he could just stop time and hold you in his arms for the rest of his life, even if it meant that he’d lose his life to time, he would. This was something he had been going over in his mind for the past four nights that he  couldn’t sleep and after tonight, despite it holding the most important moment of his entire life. He knew that what he was about to say next was the right thing to do. 

“I don’t think we should date.” He whispers. The way your body stills at his suggestion is something he never wants to experience ever in his life. Especially when you’re now staring at him with broken eyes. 

“What but y-you sa-“ 

“No, listen to me.” He grabs hold of your face, smoothing out the worried crease between your eyebrows. “There’s two months of the semester left. I know for a fact that what I feel for you is real, but I also think we rushed into things. Let’s not see each other, talk minimally, no cam shows and at the end of the semester when we both graduate we’ll meet at the diner and start over.” He rests his forehead against yours, “I want to get to know you, not the you from before but the you from now.” 

It was a talent. Somehow he always managed to say the right things to get you at ease and that in itself was a talent. He was right. The two of you did rush into things, and maybe starting a cam show together under the false pretenses of a platonic relationship didn’t help. It’s what got you in this huge mess in the first place. Though without it neither of you would’ve made it to this moment, at least not any time soon. 

These feelings, although lying dormant underneath the surface for years, were still fairly new. Feelings the two of you had to learn to navigate and understand. Rushing into something that has potential to blossom into an entire spring garden would only make it wither in the end. 

So he was right. 

“Let’s do that, the diner at eight, same booth.” You agree pulling away and placing a soft kiss against his nose, making it scrunch up cutely. You decide that’s something you will never get tired of. Even when you’re old and grey and need help putting on your socks. 

“But can you stay with me until I fall asleep.” 

He nods, “Only until you’re asleep.” He reassures more to himself than you before moving up your bed and settling on top of your duvet. 

You giggle, crawling your way underneath your sheets, laying on your side facing him. Wonwoo gives you a pointed look before turning on his side to face you. His hand goes up, rests against your cheek before taking your earlobe between his thumb and pointer finger, massaging it gently. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“Isn’t it a bit cliche, best friends growing up with one another, end up falling in love.” 

Wonwoo laughs lightly, closing the gap and kissing your forehead. His lips linger on your skin longer than usual, taking in your scent, your heat and the way your skin feels against his lips. Two months wasn’t a long time, but in his world it was an eternity, especially because he’d be away from you. 

“You’re worth the cliche.” 

When morning comes there’s no smell of dark roast. There’s no sunlight peeking through the small cracks of your curtains. And there’s no Wonwoo. It's a gloomy, rainy morning, perfect to stay inside and snuggle up with a good book or a trashy reality TV show. There’s also no birds chirping, serving as your alarm clock and making the start of your day as cheerful as possible. 

No, your alarm wakes you up. The loud blaring sounds through the speaker of your phone, making you groan in annoyance. You sit up fast, grabbing hold of your phone, hitting the ‘off’ button on your alarm, sighing in relief as the silence takes over once again. 

You lay down, facing the empty space next to you, smiling as fragments of night come rushing back. 

Wonwoo kept his promise. As much as he didn’t want to leave you. As much as he wanted to be the first thing you woke up to the next day. He kept his promise, gave you one last kiss against your cheek once he was positive you had fallen asleep and left. 

He lingered in front of your apartment like a lost puppy for thirty minutes before exhaustion took over and he sadly waddled his way to his apartment. The farther he got away, the more he started to miss you and he had to fight every single bone in his body to keep himself from running back and taking you into your arms. It was unfathomable. He finally got a hold of the love of his life and he was letting her go. 

All in the same night. 

But he made a promise to you, one he intended on keeping even if it was starting to hurt the closer he got to his apartment. 

He needed to prove to himself that he was worthy of you and your love. 

Though you hadn’t been fully asleep when he left, and the whisper of a promise and a faint ‘I love you’ being imprinted into the skin of your cheek, came rushing back, making your smile grow wider.

 Missing him didn’t start until your alarm clock came to life. 

A good six hours later. 

How were you going to survive two months without him? You weren’t sure, but instead of letting it consume you with utter despair. You felt all giddy inside, like you finally had something grander that you could look forward to besides graduation. 

And that was the M&M pancakes from the diner. Wonwoo’s final promise of the night before he left. 

“I’ll treat you, just wait for me a little longer.”

#seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen smut #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #seventeen wonwoo #seventeen fanfic #seventeen scenarios #wonwoo imagines #wonwoo fanfiction #wonwoo smut #wonwoo fluff #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo fanfic

[lebrookestore]

four years, one night

Pairing: Ten Lee x  female reader

Themes:  SLOWBURN, best friends to lovers, player! ten, fuckboy! ten, fluff, humour, angst, sexual tension, college au, some talk about music 

Warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of sex (?kinda), ten is kind of an asshole, reader calls herself a dumb bitch, bittersweet ending, three kisses, kissing, gets a little spicy in one scene but that’s about it, PG15

WC: 10.8k

Playlist: Dream Launch by Wayv, Never let you go by AleXa, Illicit Affairs by Taylor Swift, Young again by Morgan Evans, Without You by NCT U, The Tempest by Beethoven (this looks so out of place eye-)

Taglist:  @danishmiilk @channoticedmeuwu​  @1-800-seo @sweetlyjaem @badwithten @blueprint-han @chicksung

Summary: Ten was a fickle person, he jumped from one person to another, breaking hearts, and getting his own heart broken. The one person who had to pick it up every time? You, of course, and it was exhausting, especially when you had to watch.

day break  [ extra piece based in this universe ]

A/n: hello! this fic is very much self indulgent, but i love it so much. I spent most of the last week working on it and half of it is me simping, and I hope you enjoy it. Thank you to @chicksung​ for beta reading and helping me throughout writing this. As always, feedback would be very much appreciated!

‘I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong’- Lemony Snicket

~

A loud slam of the door made you flinch, shutting your eyes in exasperation as you knew what was to come. The same thing over and over again, you were used to it. Honestly, it was nothing new, but his stupidity, the obvious was in front of him, but did he listen? Of course, he didn’t.

A figure walked into the room, a mop of messy black hair with brown highlights adorning his head. It was pretty long at this point, his bangs reaching his eyes. Those damning eyes, melting pools of chocolate brown that seemed to bore into your soul. Those eyes looked remorsefully at you now, as he plopped down next to you, wrapping his arms around your midriff and burying his face in your back.

You sighed. “Again?”, you asked, running your fingers through his hair as he hummed a response. ���Again”, he repeated, confirming your suspicions. He looked up, his eyes meeting yours.

You hated his eyes.

He managed to make you do anything for him with just a look. They were undoubtedly your weakness, when they looked sad, or when they upturned into a smile, that instantly brightened your day.

“I can’t seem to get it right can I?”, he asked, searching your eyes as if you had all the answers to his turbulent love life. You scoffed, “You couldn’t have been serious about that chick, Ten, you met her three weeks ago, and she was simply a rebound for you” “Thanks for the support”

“I’m being real, not supportive”

He rolled his eyes, pouting. “But I liked her”, he whined. You gave him a pointed look, “Please, You just wanted someone to be with, if not to fu-” “Oh my god, shut up”

You smirked, turning your attention back to your laptop, where the essay you had been trying to write glared back at you. 

“I just want someone who understands me”, Ten continued, still looking at you. You looked at him. 

I understand you, you thought, I’m here

Ten had always been like this, he jumped from girl to girl, getting his heart broken several times because he was too forgiving with it. He wanted to love, he had always romanticized the idea. Honestly, you thought he needed love too, but he was going down all the wrong paths.

And you had to be there every single time to pick up the pieces.

“I know”, you said half-heartedly, biting your lower lip. He propped his chin upon his fist, observing you and your concentrated look. You typed away, desperately wanting to be done with this paper, one you had been working on for about three days. 

“Do you think I’ll ever do something right?”, he asked. You froze, pushing down what you wanted to say. It was hard, having to deal with Ten's endeavors of the heart’ as he called them. The right term would be- doing random shit and breaking girls' hearts', but of course, he refused that catchy title. Sighing, you shut your laptop, knowing you wouldn’t get anything done now that he was in a mood.

“You haven’t done anything wrong” “Haven’t done anything right either”

You took his face in your hands, “You haven’t done anything wrong, you’re amazing, now stop moping, I’m ordering pizza”

He pulled away from you, sitting up properly. “Can I stay over?”, he asked hopefully. You clicked your tongue, looking at him with an annoyed expression. “Don’t you have your dorm?” “My roommate said he has a girl over, and I kinda want to sleep, thanks” You rolled your eyes, but nodded, picking up your phone and walking into the other room to order.

You heard laughter and looked back to see the boy laughing at something on his phone. Probably a cat meme, or something of the sort. You admired his side profile for a minute, the slope of his nose, the way his eyes shone. He was okay, you supposed, annoying, but okay. No matter how much he tried to justify it, he didn’t care for the girl who broke up with him. He was just fine right now, and had moved on from the topic pretty quickly, and was already smiling.

You also hated his smile. Infuriatingly adorable, one smile would make you want to smile back. You hated it with every ounce of your being, the effect he had on you. 

You hated Ten Lee.

Scratch that, you didn’t hate the poor boy, you just, despised him?

Nope, you were close friends.

Ironic isn’t it? You had met Ten at a party, where the Dance major was having a lot of fun. You hadn’t seen him before but had heard of him. The boy who jumped from girl to girl as easy as one, two, three. You had no intention of even talking to him, you were content in a dark corner, with a drink.

Nothing ever goes your way. 

The meeting was by chance, he was dared to ask you to dance, you declined, he persisted giving you those puppy eyes. After glaring at him, he sighed, explaining it was a dare, and that he didn’t want to make a fool of himself, and before you knew what was happening, you were awkwardly swaying along to the music with him.

He, regrettably, stuck with you for the rest of the evening, and you ending up liking his company, to the extent where you invited him over the next day for pizza.

The pizza situation turned out to be a thing between the two of you, a tradition of sorts. He would come over with candy, in an oversized sweatshirt looking illegally adorable, you would supply the blankets, and movie nights would begin.

He had a sweet smile and sparkly eyes, which made you question if this was the guy who broke hearts, who was a player. He was like a puppy, it confused you to no end.

“Miss L/n?”, your professor asked, raising an eyebrow at your spaced out figure. Startling, you blinked rapidly, cringing at the situation you had put yourself in. “Sorry”, you apologized, focusing back on the textbook in front of you. You were majoring in Psychology, and while you love the subject, the teacher didn’t like you very much, probably because you had been so distracted the past few weeks, and you hadn’t done particularly well in the midterms.

Needless to say, you were stressed.

The class got over quickly, and you walked out of the lecture hall, deciding to get some coffee before your next class. The cafe was a well-loved one visited by almost every student, and was famous for its chai-lattes, so much so that others also visited it, and not just the students.

Turning towards the on-campus cafe, you spotted Ten already there. His glasses sat at the edge of his nose, giving him an oddly studious look, which was almost laughable. He stood there, holding two cups of coffee, eyes lighting up as he spotted you.

Ten Lee was going to be the death of you.

You walked up to him, taking the coffee which he handed to you, “What do you want?”, you asked suspiciously, taking a sip of the bittersweet drink. You noted the fact he had gotten your favorite, which only worsened the feeling of butterflies in the pit of your stomach. He looked mock offended, and grinned at you, “Nothing!”, he said, “Just wanted to see you”

You rolled your eyes in an attempt to thwart your initial reaction, beginning to walk back to the main campus, for your psych class. Ten walked beside you, holding his sketchbook in his right hand, and coffee in the left.

“Okay, um actually-”

“You want something don’t you?” “I need a reference model”, he said, “So, Y/n, could you please-”

“Oh my god no”, you said, without even letting the poor boy finish, “Last time this happened it ended up with a pain fight and my sweater destroyed.”

“I said I was sorry!”, he semi shrieked, “And this time I need it for a project worth half my grade.”

Sighing, you but your lower lip, nodded tentatively, to which he let out an almost inhuman sound of appreciation, “When are you free?”

“Tomorrow?”

“Nah, I have a date”

You blinked in surprise, and he smiled sheepishly. “Eun-hae asked me out and I said yes so”

“Of course you did”, you muttered bitterly, “You broke up with that other one yesterday”

He seemingly chose to ignore you, “Sunday?”

You nodded and took another sip of the drink you held. He smiled, his eyes forming those endearing crescents that you loved, or hated, depending on what you were going for.

“Thank you, Love you”, he called out, jogging away to his class. You watched him run-walk away, almost dropping his sketchbook. Shaking your head in amusement, you smiled somewhat sadly.

“No”, you whispered, “You don't”

You didn’t know exactly when you fell for Ten, only that it happened suddenly and you couldn’t deny it. He was idiotic, on many levels, but he was sweet and was there for you when you needed it. 

He was a dance major, and an art minor, talented in both these aspects. You had seen him dance, it seemed like his body moved with the music, it told a story every time. He would illustrate emotion with his dancing. He did that with his art too, each stroke equivalent to a sentence from a story.

Anyone could tell he loved both of them.

You let out a frustrated sound, bending down to pick up the pen you had dropped. You were in your apartment, trying to finish an essay that was due the next day. You longingly glanced at your keyboard, the one instrument that you loved.

Well actually, you loved the piano, but you couldn’t haul your piano from back home to your apartment that you had rented out for your college years, and so you settled for a keyboard. You had loved music ever since you were little, instruments making its way in and out of your house. Your jazz phase consisted of saxophones, and you played the guitar for a bit too. You even picked up the drums for a while, insisting that it made you cooler (because every thirteen year old needed that validation), but you settled back to piano eventually.

You took part in competitions and such, sometimes singing along with your playing as well. 

But you couldn’t afford to even think about playing, until you finished your assignments, which were all marked. They were extensive projects that made you want to scream at times. You didn’t care what Shakespeare meant, nor did you want to conduct a survey about emotions. 

Turning the page of your textbook, you switched tabs to your next resource, ready to jot down more notes for the essay, when you saw a notification at the bottom right of your laptop, which was an email. You clicked on it and let it open.

Your eyes widened, gaping slightly at the screen as you read the email.

 To: y/[email protected]

From: [email protected]

Good morning/evening,

            We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into The Royal School Of Music on a scholarship. We have received your application and are impressed by your talent and dedication. Please send us a follow-up email within a month's time to confirm your attendance at our institution.

      TRSOM

 You grabbed your phone, texting your mother about the scholarship, shaking in happiness. It had been your dream to get into the Royal school, but you had initially applied to it on a whim, not really expecting to get in.

You swiped through your contacts, ready to call Ten, who was regrettably your best friend, to inform him of the good news, until you realized-

The school was in another country altogether.

While you knew Ten would be ecstatic about the fact you got it, you had known each other for four years, the entirety of your college career, and leaving for the school would be a bit of a shock. It was definitely not the fact that telling the boy you loved you were potentially never going to see him again that was deterring you from telling him.

You placed your phone back down, telling yourself you would deal with that later, reminding yourself you had an essay to finish.

Ten tapped his finger impatiently on the table, trying to figure out a way to get out of this date. Initially, the girl he was out with, Eun Hae by name, seemed nice, but as time went on, it was clear she had no personality. 

Now, Ten wasn’t one to judge immediately. He tried to give her a chance, smiling and indulging in the bland conversation, he smiled and complimented her, and was sweet. It was going fine for a first date until of course, she suggested they share a fruit salad.

There were about fifteen other salads on the godforsaken menu, but no, she had to choose a fruit salad, above everything else.

Ten was not having it.

He excused himself, muttering something about an assignment, and went to the restroom of the restaurant, pulling out his phone and searching for your contact, clicking on it.

 [8:39 pm] 10: y/n

[8:39 pm] 10: y/n

[8:39 pm]10:  my precious friend

[8:39 pm] n/n : what now

[8:40 pm]10: I need help

[8:40 pm] n/n: I refuse 

[8:40 pm] 10: I am ofFENDED

[8:40 pm]10: please my date is making me eat fruit

[8:40 pm] n/n: sounds like a you problem

[8:40 pm] 10: I am quivering in fear and this is how you react

[8:40 pm] n/n: I have three assignments to finish

[8:41 pm] 10: I’ll take you for ice cream

[8:41 pm] n/n: deal

[8:41 pm] 10: why has our friendship been reduced to bribery

[8:41 pm] n/n stfu or I won't come and save you

[8:41 pm] 10: I LOVE YOU 

 He quickly sent you his location and put his phone back, getting back to the table and smiling as realistically as he could at the girl opposite him, who was still going on about one of her friends and their doings, while he tried to look as interested as possible.

“So, should we order-”

Right at that moment, you walked in, hair tousled because of the wind and a disgruntled expression on your face. He made an attempt not to smile at your appearance, ignoring the warm feeling he got on seeing you.

You looked around spotting him and storming over, “Ten Lee, what the fuck are you doing here”, you asked, ignoring the girl that sat right opposite him, mock angrily. He caught on, staring at you in bewilderment, noting the hint of amusement in your eyes, “How dare you to do this to me!”

“I-”

“Um, who are you?”, the girl asked, seemingly offended that you had interrupted their date.

You scoffed, displaying all your acting abilities in their full potential, “Who am I? Who are you?”

She blinked in confusion, and Ten used every bit of willpower he had to prevent him from bursting out into laughter. “I’m his date?”

“Un-fucking-believable”, you said, “Ten Lee how could you?”

At this point, Ten was invested in whatever lie you had somehow come up with to get him out of this date. It seemed like you had an entire explanation for it, either that or you were taking the opportunity to scream at him. Both seemed valid.

“How dare you lead this poor girl on!”, you continued, taking a turn, making the girl look scared, “You didn’t tell her did you?” “Tell me what?”, she asked anxiously, leaning forward. You fought to keep your straight face on seeing Ten lean forward too, apparently interested in whatever abomination he committed. 

“He’s gay”, you said with as straight a face as possible, which was hard considering the girl looked so embarrassed, you could see her face go red. Your best friend looked at you incredulously, almost as embarrassed as his ‘date’ was, and mildly amused.

“Now, if you’ll excuse us, I’ll be taking him”, you stated, grabbing Ten’s hand and taking him along with you, out of the restaurant and onto the streets.

“You really-” “Ice cream”, you demanded, smirking at his obvious embarrassment. He gaped at your indignance, but nodded, “At least you got me out of there”

“I’m an actress”

“Fuck off”

“Finals are in two weeks, I still come help and this is how to repay me? Ungrateful”

The two of you took Ten’s car to the Ice cream shop, leaning on the hood as you ate your ice cream, with Ten occasionally stealing bites. You smacked his hand away, glaring at his as he tried to take another.

“I’m literally the one paying for it”, he argued.

“This is payment for saving your ass”, you retorted. He slung an arm around you, ignoring you and taking his phone out, scrolling through Instagram. You leaned into him, the scent of your shampoo making its way to him. There was that warm feeling again, and he didn’t like it one bit. 

Deep down, he knew what it was, but he was too much of a coward to ever try, or even take a chance with it, because he wasn’t one for commitment, and even though he had thought about it, he was, as much as he hated to admit it, scared.

“So can I get another scoop?”

“You have assignments to finish”

THREE WEEKS TO GRADUATION

~

The lilting tune played through your apartment, your fingers running across the ivory keys in fervor. They clicked and clacked ever so often, which was the one thing you hated about keyboards. The keys weren’t as firm as an upright piano, giving the music an annoying clickity noise.

Most of the time, you could ignore it, but today you were tired, and this piece was particularly difficult. For some reason, you were having trouble playing the accessories, and keeping the piece in time. You played that part over and over again, but it wouldn’t work.

You switched off the metronome in annoyance, you stared at the music sheet in front of you, trying to figure out how the fuck you should play the piece. Your door clicked, and you did your best to curb your annoyance at the fact someone was interrupting your practise time, no matter how hard the piece was.

Like all keyboards, yours was smaller than an actual piano, and looked very out of place in your apartment, which was warmly decorated with all sorts of trinkets and such. One of Ten’s sweatshirts was thrown on the sofa, and for some unknown reason there were three candles sitting on your table.

It was confusion incarnate, to say the least.

You heard the door click, and a girl walked in, smiling at you. It was the only other person other than Ten who had the key to your apartment, Angie. She was shorter than you, but only by a little bit, had a fringe and brown eyes. She was pretty, and easy to talk to, which was probably what drew you to her in the first place.

“Hey”, she greeted, seeing you on your keyboard, “Whatcha playin?”

“An andante”, you groaned, “Why are you here?”

“I have nowhere else to be”, he said bluntly, “Renjun’s at Doyoung’s place or something”, she pulled out her phone, “I’m just here to chill dude, continue playing, I finished two projects and my brain in dead”

Renjun was her boyfriend, who was on the Dance Team with Ten. The two were ridiculously cute, but due to the fact she now had a boyfriend, the two of you spent less time together. You were okay with it though, you understood.

“Isn’t Doyoung with his girlfriend?”, you asked, and she shook her head, “No, she’s at her Chinese class”

You nodded, going back to your piece, placing your fingers on the correct notes when-

SLAM

Your door opened and closed again, and you closed your eyes, praying to whatever God existed that one day, you would get to practise without interruptions. Ten trudged through throwing himself on the couch, next to Angie, who paid him no attention. “Hi”, he greeted you, and you glared, causing him to give you a look of confusion.

“What did I do now?”

“Not your fault, sorry, I’m not getting this piece”

He perked up, walking over to where you were, “Can I help?”, he asked, gesturing for you to move to the side of the piano stool so he could sit next to you. He studied the notes, as you looked at him, admiring his side profile, wondering how someone could be so pretty. He placed his hand on the keys, playing it. He made a mistake but in the place you had gotten. He got the part you were struggling right.

“Here, do this”, he explained, “The notes are after the third but before the fourth count, so you have to play it quickly”

You nodded, trying to play it, not quite getting it but it was getting there. He smiled, his eyes turning into crescents as he grinned at you.

You hated his smile.

It was infuriating, the fact that he always helped you, he was always there. You kept finding yourself falling for him more and more, and you didn’t want to, because you knew how Ten was, and it was making the whole ‘telling him about the acceptance into the music school’ a lot harder.

You thanked him, pushing him off the stool playfully so you could finish your practice session before going back to studying. He made a mock offended look, retreating to the couch next to Angie, who was engrossed in texting someone, presumably her boyfriend.

His hair was messed up, sticking up in different directions making him look ridiculously adorable. You shut down the keyboard, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to practice anymore with the both of them around. You went to sit next to Angie, but Ten’s entire presence seemed to be in your way.

“Move”

“No, I’m comfortable” “Chittaphon Leechaiya-”

“Yeah I’d like some chai”, Angie said mindlessly, causing the two of you to look at her in mild astonishment. She seemingly didn’t notice your gaping looks, still scrolling through whatever she was looking at.

“Did you just reduce me to tea?”, Ten asked.

Angie looked at him, mystified. “It seems so”, you mused. A slow smirk stretched across his lips. He propped himself up on his elbows, his too-long hair falling over his eyes

“I’m flattered”

“What?”

“Tea is hot. I’m hot”, he drawled, waiting for the two of your reactions to his statement.

You smacked him.

It was your designated pizza day, which meant Ten was at your place. He was currently in the kitchen getting something to drink and ordering the pizza while you sat alone in your living room.

You looked up at your laptop screen, going over the draft of the email you were to send back the The Royal School of Music. Your parents had been extremely proud of you for getting in, and had called you the other night to congratulate you. You heard footsteps, quickly shutting your laptop down, looking up at Ten who walked into your living room from the kitchen.

“Pizza will arrive in a bit”, he said, handing you your drink and plopping down next to you, “Movie?”

“Uh Bridge to Terabithia”, you spouted, taking a sip. You were supposed to be looking for a movie while he was gone, but instead had begun writing the email, so you spouted the name of one of your childhood favorites, that never failed to make you cry. He nodded and you opened Netflix, quickly searching the movie and pressing play.

Ten wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder as the two of you sat in silence. The movie played, and even though you had already watched it before, you still found yourself invested in it. Except you weren’t completely focusing. Ten was so close, his fingers brushing against your hips, his breath near your neck. It felt right, like you were supposed to be like this.

That was the thing, it never felt wrong when you were with Ten, it was like you were exactly where you were supposed to be. Except of course for the fact he wasn’t yours. You knew how Ten was, he was the heartbreaker, and you were the one who was always there to pick up the pieces. Still it was nice to pretend that he was yours, because that was all you could do.

Pretend.

He kept talking about how he wanted someone who understood him, who he could be with, not just some stupid fling. He kept repeating the same thing again and again, and it frustrated you to no end, because you understood him and you were right there, but he never saw you. He would flirt with you, he would do everything and yet, he would never even think of you.

You leaned into him subconsciously, biting your lower lip as you stared at the screen in anticipation. He started playing with your hair, twirling it around his fingers, his hot breath on your neck making hard for you to fully concentrate on the movie.

You hated the effect he had on you, he had barely even done anything, but had still managed to make you nervous. He pulled you closer, burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Are you even watching?”, you asked, semi breathlessly, “Yes”, he responded, “But I want to cuddle.” You couldn’t argue with that logic, so you relaxed into his embrace, as much as you could. “You’re warm”, he murmured against your skin, looking back up at the screen and humming a random tune. “I’m hungry”

“I think I have some M&M’s on the counter”, you mused, “I’ll go get them”, you jumped at the chance to get up and get away from Ten, who was positively driving you crazy at this point. However, your grand plan was cut short when he refused, “I can go get it”, he made a move to get up.

“Sit down idiot-”, you said, pushing him off you, but accidentally tripped over yourself, falling back into his embrace. He laughed, hands falling to your waist to make sure you didn’t fall. “Graceful”, he snickered, and you glared at him. “I hate you”, you grumbled, “You love me”, he teased, making you almost fall again.

Except this time, his face was dangerously close to yours, and you just stared at him, your mind going blank. His arms were still around you, preventing you from falling. His eyes fluttered down to your lips for a second before he looked back up. He opened his mouth to say something but-

RING

The doorbell rang, startling the two of you out of your trance. You pulled away from Ten, shakily walking over to the door and opening it.

“Pizza?”, the guys asked, handing you the pizza box, “Yeah thanks”, you paid him and walked straight into your kitchen, not giving Ten another look, because you knew that you wouldn’t be able to.

You sighed, shutting your eyes, and trying to collect yourself, before grabbing the M&M’s and walking back into the living room, where Ten was sitting, eyes trained on the screen.

“You missed an entire scene”

“YOU DIDN’T PAUSE IT FOR ME-?”

The music echoed through the studio, its melody harsh and striking. It was dark, no lights were on, but the mirrors reflected the only person in the room-Ten.

His figure moved with the music, choosing to do whatever it pleased, trying to portray the beautiful piece to its fullest. The higher notes gave it a sort of hopeful effect, a guide. It lead you to believe that it was alright, it was fine. 

The lower notes added depth to the melody, giving it a richer feel. The two played together made it a beautiful piece, with a sort of melancholic feel. He danced to it, telling a story with his body. Ten would do this sometimes, instead of choosing an upbeat song to dance to, he’d take a classical piece, something that he could feel.

There was something in this piece, the Tempest, that resounded within him. It reminded him of you, specifically your friendship with him if you could even call it that. He got that warm feeling again that day when you had almost fallen. He would’ve kissed you if not for the doorbell. 

Ten wasn’t one for commitment, he wasn’t one for standing up first and telling people about his feelings. He played people, he played them like he painted a picture, or danced.

Speaking of which, the piece had suddenly taken a turn for the turbulent, faster-paced, anxious even. It resembled his feelings perfectly, the random urges to tell you, the anxiety for the outcome. He somehow managed to gracefully enact these feelings, making it look like art instead of the confusion he felt.

Maybe he chose this piece not only for himself but for you too.

It was one of your favorite ones to play, you could and would talk about it for days, especially when you had just mastered playing it. It wasn’t an easy piece, with all the nuances and timing changes, but you pulled it off. He could almost pretend it was you playing.

And then suddenly it mellowed down, the piece sounding hopeful as if there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and you could finally see it. A solution, a happy ending to the harsh waves of the storm, a merry end. His moves became lighter and almost joyful, as he twirled and jumped.

It was all an illusion.

A lie to make you believe the storm was over, there was no hope for this story. The harsh melody returned with vengeance, striking down the sliver of longing, any dream of making it out. Ten did his best to keep up with it, but the sudden change of emotions was startling even to him. It had changed so quickly, he didn’t even have time to comprehend it.

It ended on a triumphant note, like a proud win over an enemy, a victory that shone above everything. Ten ended the dance with a pirouette, panting as he tried calming himself down from the intense session. He couldn’t help feeling triumphant as well, the adrenaline of the piece getting to him, yet, he was skeptical.

Because he had a feeling it was the Tempest that had triumphed, and not him.

You’ll admit: you were not having fun with Psych. You had been studying all day, trying to absorb some of the stuff you had been taught throughout the year. Even though studying human behaviour had always intrigued and interested you, the reason you chose Psych, you couldn’t care less about oxytocin and how attraction worked, nor did you care about how human behaviour was affected by it.

But you had been at it for the past 6 hours, and was tired, so when Angie came along and expressed her disgust and sympathy about your studying endeavors, she hauled you up from the place you had been sitting at for most of the day and instructed you to change and get ready to go or a party.

So you found yourself at a frat party, Angie's arm hooked in yours and music blaring all around you. It was hot and dark, and you could barely see anything with the terrible lighting. You couldn’t tell what song was being played at such high volume, but awkwardly swayed to it anyways, wondering if staying at home at falling down the hole of ice cream and Netflix would have been a better alternative to this.

There were couples making out, and random beer cans everywhere. Everyone was half drunk, and you took this as an excuse to go get a drink. You turned to Angie who was looking the other way. 

“Angie”, you whisper-screamed her name into her ear, causing her to jump, “I’m going to get a drink okay?”, you explained, to which she nodded. “I’m going to Renjun”, she said, walking away and leaving you alone.

Friendship.

You pushed through the crowd of sweaty adults, to get to the makeshift bar that was at the other end of the frat. You stopped occasionally to greet friends, or smile at a random cute boy, but finally made it to the kitchen. Johnny, one of your other friends stood there, inclining his head in a greeting. “Hey, what do you want?” “Are you in charge of the drinks or something?”, you asked, leaning on the island of the kitchen. He grinned at you, shaking his head, “No, but I’m so much I might as well be!”

You laughed, requesting for your drink of choice, which he went to fix for you. You licked your lips, scanning the area to find another friend to latch onto, since Angie had so kindly abandoned you.

“Didn’t think I’d see you here”, a very familiar voice said form behind you, and you turned to see none other than your best friend.

But he looked nothing like what you were used to.

Ten’s hair was slicked back instead of splayed out on his forehead like usual, his eyes seemed darker, probably due to the alcohol. He was wearing skinny jeans, and a blazer with most of the buttons undone, his chest in full view.

Ten looked hot.

“Uh-”, you started like the well read person you were, “Angie dragged me”

He smirked, “Of course she did”, he took a seat on one of the stools, legs spreading as he leaned back. You looked away, trying your hardest not to stare at the boy in front of you, who was making that mission increasingly harder with every little thing he did.

Johnny came back out, offering you a smile and your drink, which you took from him, returning his smile. He handed a glass of something you couldn’t make out to Ten, who took a sip, keeping it on the island. “You don’t seem to be having fun”, he observed, hands finding your waist and pulling you closer to him.

This was a normal thing, but this time it felt different. It wasn’t the same innocent gesture. “I just arrived idiot”, you scoffed. He smirked, “You can look at me you know”, he teased, and you could feel the heat rush to your face. You turned your gaze to him. Currently you were in between his legs, and your mind was a mess.

The first thing you noticed was his tattoo on his right arm which you had seen before. The next was one you hadn't seen before, and rightly so, since it was on his chest.

“Done staring at me?”, he said with a smirk, and your eyes snapped up to his, holding his gaze. If you hated the effect his eyes had on you before, you positively despised them now. He was staring at you through a half lidded gaze, licking his lips. Even without any alcohol in your system you felt dizzy, but not a sick way. Ten was driving you crazy, with his hands on your waist, eyes on you and just everything about him in the moment.

“You’re pretty”, he murmured, looking up at you, eyes falling to your lips, “Did you know that?”, his voice was deeper than usual, sending shivers down your spine. “I-”

“Hmm?”, he sounded absent minded, like he wasn’t even listening to you, which was great considering you didn’t even know what to say. He pushed you a little, standing up himself, now looking down.

“If you didn’t know, I think you are”, he said, face closer than any friend’s face should have been. You breath hitched in anticipation. “Ten?”, your voice was small, quivering almost under his gaze.

He was so close, painfully close. If anyone asked you how you got into this position in the first place, you wouldn’t be able to explain, not quite knowing yourself. 

“Y/n, I need you for a second”, Angie appeared from nowhere, freezing when she saw the two of you in that position, “Um- I can leave-”

“Hey Ang”, Ten greeted, moving away from you. You missed the proximity, as much as you hated to admit it. You blinked hazily at your friend who had so conveniently interrupted whatever you had going on with Ten. You silently cursed yourself for getting so out of it. “Here, I think Arya is calling me anyways so”, he pushed his hands in his jeans pockets. He glanced at you, before walking away and out of the kitchen.

Would he have kissed you?

You looked over at your friend, who was still staring at you like she had seen a ghost. “Did I interrupt something?”, she asked, eyes wide. You felt embarrassed, taking a step back as if you were trying to walk out of the whole situation. “I’m not sure”, you said, “What do you need me for?”

“I need you to hold my drink, I need to go to the bathroom, Renjun is drunk as fuck and I trust you”, she explained, handing you her glass. You nodded, “And maybe can you watch my dumbass of a boyfriend please?”

You snorted, agreeing and walking to the main area of the party that was unfortunately the most crowded. You spotted Renjun on top of Donghyuck, practically choking the latter boy who was laughing for some reason. You could see why Angie went to you for her drink. Walking over, you tried to help Mark, another one of your friends, in separating Renjun and Donghyuck from initiating the 77th hunger games on a friday night.

After somewhat succeeding in pulling the two away from each other, Angie had arrived, choosing to ignore her wasted boyfriends antics and taking her glass back from you. 

You remembered you had left your own drink back in the kitchen, and so you backtracked your steps to said place, when you saw it.

Ten was standing with a girl, her hands around his neck. He was saying something that made her giggle, throwing her head back in laughter as he grinned happily. You froze watching the scene unbeknownst to Ten. You didn’t know what you were feeling for an entire minute until it hit you.

You were hurt.

It was a pricking sort of feeling, like a rod prodding at your heart. It was like a warning, telling you to look away before it pierced your heart, but you couldn’t look away for some reason. It was like your mind was mocking you, telling you keep watching, to realize you never had the slightest chance with Ten.

You weren’t special, whatever flirting he did with you he did to everyone, anything that had remotely happened wasn’t even mentionable, because you were like every other girl in the crowd, and it fucking hurt. It hurt to see the boy you loved not give you a moment's thought, not even give you a chance.

That night you went back to your apartment alone, leaving Angie to deal with her boyfriend. You had never felt this horrible before, it had never escalated to this level of hurt. This type of hurt was different, a dull ache reminding you of what an idiot you were to have ever hoped for more.

You hated Ten for several things, his eyes, his smile, the way he could make you giddy by doing the simplest things. But in the moment, you hated yourself more.

You hated yourself for loving Ten Lee.

‘Don’t call me kid, Don’t call me baby, look at this godforsaken mess that you’ve made me. You showed me colours you know i can’t see with anyone else’

~

You sat on a colourful rug, holding a book up, and surrounded by several other books. You were in a sort of greenhouse, the walls and roof were made completely off glass, and the light streamed through, giving the scene a sort of whimsical aura.

This was the place ten has chosen to paint you, standing behind his easel and and focusing on the canvas, occasionally looking up at you. There were flecks of white and pale blue paint on his face, and he looked whimsical in a way as well.

You sat there, ignoring the warnings in your mind that told you to stay away from Ten for yourself, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. You showed up to the venue right on time, and did your best to not seem any different. You spaced out, eyes focusing on a random word on a page. Ten had promised he was almost done with it, since the two of you had been at it for quite a while now.

His lower lip was caught between his teeth in concentration, hair messed up from the amount of times he had run his hand through it. He stepped back for a second, inspecting his work, a dorky smile stretching out on his lips.

“It’s done!”, he said, “Some fixing, but I can do that later, get your ass here!”

You get to your feet, placing the book on one of the piles of them around you and walking towards him, biting down your own smile at this enthusiasm. You walked behind the easel, your eyes falling on the painting.

It was gorgeous, the colours complimenting each other. The depiction of the light rays was so soft, yet it was there shining down on the main part of the picture- you. He had painted you so prettily, almost fairy like in the midst of the scene. You stared at the painting in awe, unable to think of words to describe it.

“So?”, he asked hopefully, his eyes searching yours for some sort of reaction. You looked at him, then at the painting, then back at him, wondering how he could’ve made it look so fanciful, something out of a disney movie.

“It’s beautiful”, you whispered, your voice not daring to go any louder. He smiled placing his palette down and standing next to you. “It’s not hard when the subject is beautiful”, he said nonchalantly. You froze, silently telling yourself to calm down, to not react to it, that it wasn’t anything to be noted. Yet something in you clicked, shifted into place.

You were angry.

You were furious at Ten, with his pretty smiles and wishful eyes. You hated it when he flirted with you, because he kept leading you on, you hated it when he looked at you like you were the world, because it was a lie, it was all a fucking lie.

“Don’t”, you said, voice shaky. He stared at you in confusion, which only irked you more.

“Don’t”, your voice betrayed you, breaking. He looked alarmed, reaching his hand out, “Hey, Are you okay-”

“No, I’m not okay”, you hissed, slapping his hand away, stepping back. Your mind was clouded with a feeling of helplessness, helplessness at not being able to tell him how you felt, how you hated what he did, how all you wanted was something you definitely couldn’t have. He looked bewildered at your seemingly sudden outburst.

“Stop fucking playing with me”, you said, “I’m not this”, you searched for the words, coming back with nothing, “Stop complimenting me, calling me sweet nothings, making me believe-”, you sucked in a breath, feeling the tears build up in your eyes, years of pent up frustration finally making their way out of you. 

You looked up at him, he still seemed to not be following, “Y/n, I don’t-”

“I’m in love with you”, you choked out finally, the words seeming to tie you down, rather than set you free like you had once hoped. “I’m in love with you”, you repeated, Ten could hear the rage in your voice, washing down on him like the waves of the Tempest, harsh and real. “And I hate myself for it”

Your voice was softer, much more mellow now, like it was tired. A single tear trickled down your face, and you looked up to see a stunned Ten, eyes wide at your state. He said nothing, instead just looked at you, as if you were a different person all of a sudden. It wasn’t a pretty sight, you crying and him standing there like a statue, not a word escaping his lips. 

The air seemed to be colder all of a sudden, biting into the exposed areas of your skin. There was that aching feeling again, that pricking of your heart, the silent ‘i told you so’, that your mind seemed to be playing on repeat. You brushed the tears away from your face furiously, feeling stupid all of a sudden. 

“I’m going to go”, you muttered, grabbing your things and walking out, not caring if you looked idiotic, and not staying to listen to any pathetic response he gave you. 

Ten watched you leave, cursing himself for being such an idiot to you. He didn’t mean to hurt you, he was in love with you himself, but he would never admit it. He hated himself for it, because he knew what he had done. He had flirted with you, had played you, but it was only because he thought the two of you never had a chance. 

He hated himself because it was him, after all this time, who had destroyed that chance.

You sat in front of your computer, back at your apartment, trying not to cry again as you stared at the screen, fingers hovering over the send button. It hurt much worse than you expected it to, his silence had made everything all the worse. But you were tired of him going back and forth. You were tired of having to pick up the pieces every time when he broke another girls heart, or someone else broke his.

You had nothing to lose this time. So alone, in your room you pressed send, signing of your future, sending the email to The Royal School of Music.

Alone.

Finals week passed in a blur of stress crying, all nighters and excessive reading of things that you had read a million times before, and if they hadn’t already gotten into your head, they would never. Which prompted the stress crying.

It was a vicious cycle.

You barely stepped out of your apartment, other than to actually take the exam. All your time was taken up in studying, occasionally eating, and studying again. You also didn’t see Ten that much, other than a glimpse, but immediately swerved away, not in any mood to deal with that confrontation as of yet.

Somehow, you managed to make it to the end of the week, without completely going mad. You made it out of finals, and was technically done with your college career altogether, which was crazy to even think of. You had spent the last four years of your life in this hellhole to get to where you were, and you had made it.

So seeing yourself in front of the mirror a week later, donning your cape and cap over your clothes, you smiled for the first time in two weeks. It was the day you finally graduated and went out into the world as a person with a degree. 

Granted, you were slightly pissed at the fact you had spent four years, and paid an enormous amount of money for a sheet of paper, but at the moment, you couldn’t get the fact that you were finally done with it out of your head. You were happy.

The ceremony started off slowly, the principal calling the names of the students in alphabetical order. You saw Ten walk up and take his degree, a broad smile on his lips. You saw Angie take hers, almost tripping over her cape, earning a laugh from the principal, and fond looks all about. You saw Renjun and Donghyuck hugging instead of at each other's throats for once, and Mark randomly beat boxing for no reason.

You went up on the stage, taking the degree and smiling, realizing that your vision was hazy. Tears of happiness had made their way to your eyes, and you blinked them back, thanking the principal and smiling at the crowd. You walked off, going to stand with your little group of friends.

Later on, Angie went off with her boyfriend for a celebratory date, Renjun and Donghyuck decided to crash at Marks place, and you? You decided to walk through the campus one last time, before you never returned. You were done with college and this place wasn’t yours anymore. It held a sort of nostalgic feel all of a sudden, walking under the arches and admiring the architecture one last time.

You were holding your cap in your hand, after finding it on the ground somewhere after the throwing of them. Your cape was folded and hung from your arm as you walked through, deciding to go get some coffee after you were done.

Lost in your own thoughts, you bumped into someone, dropping the cap., “Sorry-”, you begun you apologize for your absent mindedness, crouching to pick up your cap when you saw the person you had run into.

Ten.

You silently scowled, cursing whatever above that had thrown the two of you together at the very moment, and cleared your throat uncomfortably, looking away. “Hey”, he said breathlessly, looking you up and down. He looked great, he always did, you couldn’t deny the fact no matter how much you were trying to hate him.

“Hi”, you said curtly, “I have to go”

“Wait”, he reached out, grabbing your hand, “Can we talk?”, his voice was tilting towards the hopeful side. It reminded you of your own foolish hope, and you didn’t like it one bit. “No”, you said, “I have to go”, you repeated for words, crushing any hope.

“No- Wait, please, Y/n let me explain”, he pleaded his case, his eyes striking through yours, stirring up some sort of sympathy. Your mind was telling you to go, to get out as fast as possible, but your heart softened, as it always did with him.

“Explain what?”, you chuckled bitterly, “You’ve made it pretty clear how you feel Ten. I was stupid”, your words were hurting yourself, but hurting him too, because he knew it wasn’t your fault.

“No Y/n, you-”

“I what?”, you hissed in question. He spluttered, discouraged by your disinterest in whatever he was trying to tell you. You wanted nothing more to get away from him in that moment, but he seemed to want to stretch out your time together as much as possible. It annoyed you, and made you sad at the same time.

The more time you were with him, the more you could feel your heart break.

“I love you”, he said quietly, “I know I’m a terrible person for leading you on and not realizing earlier, but I love you.” You froze, standing there and staring at him. He looked back, not daring to break your gaze. Instead of joy, which was what you had expected to feel if he ever uttered those words, you felt angrier.

“Please Y/n”, he said, “Just give me a chance?”

You stayed silent, contemplating your choices. “How long have we been friends?”

“What-”

“How long have we known each other Ten?”

“Four years, but I don’t see-”

“We have been friends for four fucking years. I was there for every heartbreak, every date, every girl. I stood on the sidelines, I listened to you, I have you advice when you needed it, I comforted you when you cried. But you? You never gave me a chance!”, you exclaimed, “Not a second glance, not a single chance.”

He opened and closed his mouth like a fish, taking in your words and trying to think of something to justify them, but he couldn’t, he knew you were right.

“So yes”, you voice quivered, “You are an idiot. You’re an idiot for never realizing my feelings when i made it PAINFULLY obvious”, you took steps back, trying to calm yourself.

“I can't believe I”, you scoffed at yourself, your own idiocy, “I can’t believe that three out of four years I was in love with you, but I guess that’s what makes me the dumb bitch.” You looked away, the words you had wanted to say since forever finally out of your system. He stood there, just a few steps away from you. But then, why did it seem like he was miles away?

“I’m sorry”, he said weakly, “I hate myself for what I did, but Y/n I”, he paused, shutting his eyes in frustration, “I’m in love with you dammit, and I don’t expect you to forgive me for what I’ve put you through but, can we-”

“No”, you said, “We can’t”

“Y/n give us a chance, please”

“You don’t understand!”, you said almost feverishly, blinking back tears, “I can’t Ten”

“Why not?”, he asked, walking closer to you. You took a step back from him, looking at the boy you loved with remorseful eyes. “I’m leaving Ten. I’m leaving for a music school in another country.”

He blanched, any hope withering away, like a dead flower, dried with the summer heat, like a lone boat in the midst of a storm. You let out a pathetic sob, realizing that you couldn’t ever have Ten, no matter what.

“I’ll be gone before we could ever be”

The world was never fair. It came at you with things you wished never happened, you wished you could change, or would have handled better. Like a storm on an unsuspecting sailor, it’s waves crashed down on you, and you were unable to breathe.

Life was the tempest, with it’s harsh tremors, it’s sudden soft waves that lead you to believe things were going to be okay. It’s highs and it’s lows, the good times and the bad. You found it ironic, the fact you were playing your favorite piece of all time, and it reminded you of reality.

You had always viewed music as an escape from reality, but now you were starting to connect the two, using music to let both the worlds connect. Your fingers flew across the keys, the climactic melody thundering through your apartment.

Finishing the piece, you let out a sigh, taking the music sheets and placing them back in your folder. Shutting the keyboard down, you cleared up a bit, settling down on your couch. Cracking your knuckles, you pulled out your phone to mindlessly scroll through Instagram as one did to pass time.

You seemed to do that often, now that you were officially done with college and had a bit of time before you left for The Royal School of Music, approximately three weeks, you honestly had nothing else to do with your time.

And so, you indulged in the world of reels and other videos that didn’t necessarily add anything of worth to your being. Time seemed to trickle by slowly, much slower than you would have liked. 

Your flight to the country in which the school was in had already been booked, your registration had been completed, and you had even found an apartment to rent over there. Some of your belongings had already been sent for shipping, leaving you with the bare minimum. You had even sold some stuff, because cross country shipping was expensive, and you had gathered quite a few things over your four years staying in your college area that you definitely didn’t need.

It seemed as if everything was set, you were ready to leave everything behind.

Your doorbell rang, it's obnoxious ringing sound making you wince out of annoyance. You got up from your spot on the couch reluctantly, and walked over to the door to open it.

You were met with a slightly disheveled looking Ten on the other side, hair slightly messy. It had been yet another week since you had seen him, not have been in contact since graduation day, and suddenly here he was at your doorstep. Before you could even say anything, he pushed his hand out, thrusting a pizza box in your face.

“I know you don’t want to see me, and I don’t blame you but”, he took a deep breath, “You’re going, and it sucks, but I’m happy for you, so i brought pizza, for old times sake?”

You blinked in surprise, your hands on their own accord and taking the box. As if he could sense you were skeptical, he rambled on, “Just a movie and pizza, then I’ll leave I promise.” Everything inside you screamed at you to say no, but the words left you before you could even comprehend your mind's thoughts.

“Okay”

You opened the door more, walking back into your apartment, opening the box and taking your laptop to search for a movie. He closed the door after himself, taking a seat beside you on the couch, but not touching you. It was like there was a wall in between the two of you, and you couldn’t break it down.

You weren’t sure if you wanted to.

“There’s a new season of His Dark Materials”, you thought aloud, “We could binge that.”

It was so easy, being with Ten. Like falling back into a routine you had missed, a habit that had been cultivated. It was natural, him by your side, eating pizza and searching for a movie or series to binge. It was a tradition for the two of you after all, and even though you had stayed away from Ten for your own heart, it felt so good to do this again. You had missed it.

“Sure”, he agreed, taking a slice of the pizza, the stringy cheese not breaking, “We may need plates.”

You shook your head at his comical state, placing your laptop down and walking into your kitchen, opening the topmost cupboard to get the plates down, when you realized you couldn’t reach it. Now usually, you would just get a stool or something to climb on top off, but that would mean going back out there and admitting to Ten that you were short.

That was not acceptable.

Of course any grand plans of somehow getting the plates down without Ten knowing had been thrown out the window when he himself walked into the kitchen, “Are you making the plates or something? What’s taking so long?”

He spotted you, hands stretching up, leaning over the counter. Ten smirked, walking over and taking the plates down himself, “Someone’s short”, he snickered, to which you glared, “You’re short too dumbass.”

“You’re shorter”, he teased, taking the second plate down. He was standing in front of you, directly facing you as he placed the second plate of the counter top. You stared indignantly at him, and he caught your gaze, holding it. It was the same Ten you had known since you entered your campus, the same Ten you met at that party.

The same Ten you were in love with.

His eyes shifted from yours to your lips, realizing how close the two of you were. His hand raised up to your face cupping it. You subconsciously leaned into his touch, eyes wide, waiting for him to do something, anything.

His eyes searched yours for an answer, some sort of indication that he could go ahead. You knew that nothing good would come from this, but you couldn't help but nod your head a little too fast, and fisting the end of his shirt in anticipation.

He kissed you. 

His lips moved against yours softly, hesitantly, like they were scared you would disappear if he went any faster. It was nothing like you had ever imagined (believe me, you had imagined), but it was better. It was like a culmination of wanting had been poured into the kiss, and you didn’t want it to stop.

You could’ve sworn time had stopped when he kissed you, the world around you seeming to fade away. You could feel your knees going weak with the overwhelming feeling, the flutter in your stomach growing. If you hadn’t been holding onto the end of his shirt so hard, you would have collapsed into him.

“I’m sorry”, he whispered against your lips, pulling away, cupping your face, “I know I’m an idiot”, he confessed, and you resist the urge to agree, “I know I’m an idiot but,”, he stopped again, resting his forehead against yours. “One night”, he whispered, voice shaky now, “Will you be mine for just one night?”

There was something fragile in his voice, like he was afraid of your answer. You looked up, looking at those eyes you hated, but loved at the same time. You silently agreed, pressing your lips to his again, kissing him once more. His hands dropped down to your waist, your hands wrapped around his neck as you stole another long awaited kiss from him.

The plates were long forgotten about, instead the two of you stumbled back into the living room, hands not leaving each other. The back of his knees hit the couch, and he sat down, taking you with him. You sat on top of him, breathing heavily. 

He pressed his lips to your forehead affectionately as you leaned into Ten, not ever wanting the moment to end. “I’m tired”, you whispered, all the years of pining and wishing he was yours suddenly weighing you down. 

“I know”

“This isn’t going to end well is it?”

“I don’t know”, he mused, rubbing your back comfortingly. You looked at him once again, like you had done many times before, except this time he was yours, for how long? You didn’t know. You didn’t want the night to end, the prospect of losing him again already making your stomach pit.

“I love you”, he said, and you didn’t say it back. You didn’t have too, you had said it many times already, you had told him. Instead you kissed him again, getting drunk on him. 

The rest of the night was spent this way,lazily kissing, cuddling, and eating pizza straight out of the box since neither of you wanted to get up again. Ten held you like you were the world, and wrapped your arms around him, burying your face into the crook of his neck. The two of you forgot about the serial you were supposed to binge as well, too caught up with each other to even care.

He told you about how he got scouted for dancing by an entertainment company, you filled him in about The Royal School of Music, about how you were so glad College was over even though you would miss it. He made you laugh with his stupid jokes, and it felt like it had always been. Somewhere along the line, the two of you fell asleep in the dead of the night, or almost morning, tangled up in each others arms, happy.

You woke up on your couch alone, your apartment lonely and silent. You looked around sleepily, your eyes catching a glimpse of the clock on your wall, which told you it was already noon. You pulled your knees to your chest, feeling out of place. Something was missing.

Ten.

Ten was gone, nowhere to be seen. You tried thinking back, wondering why he was gone, until you realized - one night was over. Like he had promised, he was gone, not yours anymore, and you weren’t his. You shivered, realizing that there wasn’t any blankets or anything on the couch, yet you couldn't seem to get up.

It hurt. You wanted to cry and scream, the realization that he was gone, before you could even fully have him sinking it. It felt so unfair, the fact that you could never really ever have Ten, someone you had loved for four fucking years, for more than a night.

You took in a shaky breath, looking to the end of the sofa, which is when you saw it. It was Ten’s painting, the one of you in the greenhouse, supposedly reading the books. On the top a sticky note read ‘The Tempest’. You brushed your finger over the painting, taking it in. He had left it here for you, and it was the one thing you had of him. At the bottom, it was signed in his handwriting.

‘10’.

“널 다시 만나면 네 손을 잡고 말해줄 텐데 I will never let you go”

fin.

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[rkived]

year 22 (m) — jjk

‘‘I knew you’d be standing in my front porch light, and I knew you’d come back to me.’‘ 

Pairing: childhoodfriend!jk x f!reader 

Genre/Tags: angst!!!, drama, a lil fluff, f2l, e2l-ish, pining, slow burn, smut

Rating: M +18

WC: 11.5k

Warnings: time jumps, underage drinking, jk being a douchebag for most of the fic, reader can’t catch a mf break, mention of character death ((no major one tho)). smut in the form of oral (f. receiving), fingering, nipple play, unprotected sex ((wrap it b4 u tap it y’all)), my being called pretty kink making a brief appearance soz

A/N: i listened to cardigan for the first time n had it on replay the whole time i wrote this so ig u should do it too ! this is my first time posting smut on here but who would i be if i didn’t throw in some good angst ? also tysm to @periminkle​ for being my unofficial beta reader n checking it up for me, she knows i’m constantly looking for her validation n i def wouldn’t post this if she didn’t love it ilu vira thx for being the best ever mwah !!! 

You’re five, cowering behind his mother’s legs, sniffing as tears stream down your face. In front of you both stands Jungkook, there’s remorse written all over his face as his mother stares him down with hands on her hips and a look that just screams that this is only the beginning of his punishment. 

‘’Apologize to Y/N right now Jungkook, or I’ll have your father have a word with you,’’ she threatens with a stern tone, making her son quickly shake his head no. ‘‘You need to learn how to share your toys.’’ 

You peek behind her lanky leg and find the slightly older kid looking at you with narrowed eyes, ‘‘I’m sorry, Y/N.’’ He apologizes with a bow, but he’s obviously displeased with the whole ordeal. 

His mother sighs and Jungkook pouts at the look on her face. She urges you to come out from your not-so-secret hiding spot and to go back to playing with him, even though you seriously doubt that will do any good to what just happened. 

Jungkook’s bedroom door is kept open as he sits back down on his city patterned carpet, you twiddle with your thumbs and stare at the Spiderman poster on his wall. There’s an awkward silence between you two until you feel a toy bump your crisscrossed legs. 

It’s the shiny red car he had refused to lend you before, provoking an argument between you two which eventually made you run out of his room in tears as you ratted him out to his mom. 

‘‘Wooow,’’ you whisper in awe, taking the car in your hands with so much care, treating it like it’s one of your newest dolls. 

Jungkook huffs, crossing his arms as he looks at you with distaste and he’s forced to settle with other boring toys as you giggle to yourself, making the car follow the carpet’s tracks. He learns then to never trust his mother again. If she ever says she’ll bring a new friend for him to play with again, he’ll refuse wholeheartedly.

He doesn’t like sharing his toys, and it’ll probably take him a long time to learn how to.

You’re nine as you hand Jungkook one of the multiple Valentine’s Day cards you carefully crafted the night before with your mother, adding all kinds of pretty stickers and shiny glitter to make each one of them unique. His is different from the rest, though. 

You added hearts to the dots in the I’s, there’s a hint of your favorite body splash enveloping the pink construction paper and it fills Jungkook’s nostrils with so much force that he feels he could gag at the smell. 

‘‘What do you think?’’ You ask the fourth-grader with a big smile on your face, cheeks tinted with a light shade of red as you see him reading the little message you wrote inside the card.

Jungkook lets out a mocking chuckle, ‘‘Are you serious? You like me?’’ He asks you, but it doesn’t look like he’s looking for answers. Your smile slowly fades away, looking at him with glossy eyes, ‘‘I don’t like you, you’re just a dumb little girl.’’ 

His card was the one you had invested the most time in and yet it only took him a second to crumple it with his hand, and another five for him to toss it into the trash can near you before he goes back to his group of friends in the school’s playground.

You learn how to hold your tears in then, thinking it’s a great accomplishment and that maybe now he’ll stop calling you a crybaby.

His friends receive him with high-fives and he smiles with gratefulness because they just saw how much of a badass he can be. Once recess is over and everyone’s going back to their classrooms, Jungkook nears the garbage bin where he had thrown the Valentine's card in, but finds it’s now dirty with yogurt someone tossed inside. 

He grimaces at the sight and sighs, there’s no way he can save it now.

You’re twelve and you’re the only girl in the treehouse who hasn’t gone through puberty yet. It wasn’t something that bothered you until just recently, when it became pretty evident why none of the boys would even give you a onceover compared to the other girls.

“I don’t know if I want to play,” you mumble after Kim Jihyo suggests playing spin the bottle. You’re the only one who opposes the idea, though you could count Jungkook in given as he just sat there without saying a word.

Park Yerim rolls her eyes, “You’re so boring, Y/N!” The comment makes the rest giggle as you pout at being the designated party pooper. 

It’s all fun and games of truth and dares to whoever the bottle lands on and you’ve been lucky enough to avoid the tip of the plastic Coca-Cola bottle to point at you, until it lands on Jungkook who has done a few funny dares so far.

“Alright, Jungkook, let’s make things even more fun!” Jihyo announces since she’s been the one who has assigned most of the embarrassing challenges and questions, “I dare you to kiss one of the girls here for ten seconds.” 

The dare makes the boys cheer with excitement and the girls gasp with anticipation, hoping one of them is the lucky chosen one. Your lips part slightly as you stare at him sitting across from you, he’s clearly not comfortable with the dare, but knowing him, he won’t express his current discomfort. 

His eyes land on you as you stare back at him with concern, hoping that he’ll speak up to avoid himself the embarrassment. Has he even kissed someone before? If this is his first kiss, you’ll witness it alongside everyone else and you can only imagine how terrifying that must be. Even though Jungkook’s always been a brave kid, you can always tell when he feels under pressure.

“Uhm, I’ll uh—“ Jungkook keeps staring at you and you feel your heart start to beat like you just ran the usual ten laps around the gym in P.E class. Are you about to have your first kiss? With him? 

You nod your head absentmindedly, a sign to let him know it’s okay for him to pick you from all the other developed girls who probably have more experience kissing than you do, but it’s okay because you’ve always been a quick learner. 

“Yeji,” Jungkook says after what feels like forever, though it’s only been a mere few seconds, “I’ll kiss Yeji.” He adds, removing his eyes from yours and settling them on the girl with the high ponytail and pink colored nails. 

You bite your bottom lip hard, breaking the dry skin as you feel yourself taste blood. It doesn’t matter because no one’s paying attention to you and instead they’re focused on Jungkook’s neverending kiss with Yeji. 

When you get home that night, you look at yourself in the mirror and frown at your lack of everything. Is this the reason as to why he hadn’t picked you? 

You’re fourteen and Kim Taehyung just sent you a message through MSN in which he confesses to have feelings for you. Your eyes widen, rereading the message several times, rubbing at your eyes just to make sure you’re seeing things correctly. 

You run off across the street to Jungkook’s house, ringing the doorbell quickly for someone to open up. You’re greeted by him looking at you with an annoyed expression, he had to pause his GTA game to come and open the door. 

“What do you want?” Jungkook asks harshly, crossing his arms as he stares into somewhere that’s not your face. He’s anxiously waiting for you to spit out whatever it is you’re there to say. 

You calm yourself down by breathing in deep and out, blowing the air right at him, “Does Taehyung like me?” You ask him, making Jungkook’s eyes widen in surprise and his brows to raise. 

His reaction tells you that you might’ve just discovered a secret you weren’t supposed to and it only makes your heart beat even faster because if it’s true, then this is a pleasant surprise. Kim Taehyung is one of the hottest boys in the tenth grade and he happens to be one of Jungkook’s closest friends. You think he must know something since you see them hanging out at lunch.

“Uh—I don’t know, Y/N.” Jungkook mumbles, rubbing at the back of his neck, finally looking at you and he feels a gut wrenching punch in his stomach at the sight. “Taehyung isn’t a really good guy, you shouldn’t—“ 

“What are you saying?” You interrupt him with a question, confused as to why Jungkook was painting a negative picture of his friend. “He was really sweet with what he said, he thinks my eyes are pretty when they sparkle — I didn’t even know they did that!” 

Jungkook grimaces and sighs, there’s really not much he can do here. You’ve always been so stubborn, so relentless. No matter how many times life tries to tell you something’s not meant for you, you challenge each and every one of it’s obstacles until you take what’s yours. 

“Okay, then what are you gonna do? Date him? You haven’t even had your first kiss yet.” Jungkook reminds you with a mocking tone and you furrow your brows together because, how does he know that? 

You stammer, “I-I have! I had it at camp last summer, actually!” That’s a lie, but he wasn’t there so he can’t prove the veracity of your statement. “And what do you care? So what if I want to date him?” You add with anger, not understanding why couldn’t he just support you in search of true love. 

The thought of dating Kim Taehyung had never crossed your mind, thinking he was way too out of your league for him to ever notice you. But that confession sitting in your MSN chat now served as a nice feeling of knowing you aren’t as invisible as you think you are. 

Jungkook scoffs, “Taehyung would never date you, okay? He’s older than you, he’s cool, he goes to parties and has kissed almost every girl in his grade, do you think he’d really like someone as boring as you?” He doesn’t mean to be so harsh, but you’re just so difficult and impossible to get through.

Jungkook’s used to the trembling bottom lip and the teary eyes that you give him everytime he says something that definitely strikes a nerve within you, but he’s always impressed on how you always refrain from crying in front of him. Last time you did that you were both kids and he probably took the last lollipop from your batch of collected halloween candy. 

“Screw you, Jungkook,” you say through gritted teeth, and if looks could kill, he’d be dead already. 

He looks at you quickly stomp your way back to your house, only heading back inside once you slam your front door shut. Jungkook enters his room to find two new messages in his MSN.

$$ kIm tAaEhyYyuNG $$: it worked! 

$$ kIm tAeEhyYyunGG $$: she fell for it xDxD where did u even come up with the sparkly eyes thing?? that’s gold bro rofl 

Jungkook sighs, ignoring the messages and shutting his computer down.

You’re sixteen and you’ve been invited to your first party. Granted, it was Jungkook’s, but he knew that if he didn’t ask you to come you’d probably tell on him with his mom. No matter what age he was, he’d always fear his mother’s scolding. 

“Drink this!” Park Jimin says with his beautiful smile and you’re starting to realize why they gave him that very same superlative on the school’s yearbook. You take the red solo cup without any second thought, placing the rim straight to your lips and choke once you feel the liquid burn your throat. 

“Ugh—What’s this?” You ask, cleaning the droplets of liquid around the corners of your mouth. 

He chuckles, “Fruit punch!” The liquid is indeed red like the familiar drink you’re used to, but there’s definitely something else mixed inside. “Oh, and vodka,” he adds with wiggly eyebrows as he shows off the small flask he was hiding in his sweatshirt’s front pocket.

You gasp and hand him the cup back, “No, I don’t drink alcohol, sorry.” Jimin rolls his eyes and it reminds you of the many times you’ve received this same reaction from your classmates before. Always a party pooper. He’s about to take the plastic red cup from you until you quickly drink the spiked punch in one go.

The boy howls in excitement, “Woo, go Y/N! Another one coming right up.” 

Jungkook knows he should be making sure everything’s alright downstairs. If his mother notices there’s at least one misplaced object, she’ll know right away something went down in her house while her husband and her were away for the weekend on an emergency trip to their hometown. Leaving him unsupervised only because they both believed their son was old enough to tend for himself.

But Jung Eunha had dragged him into his room with the excuse of wanting to see what it looked like, but the mini tour had turned into them kissing on his bed and Jungkook is thankful he changed his Spiderman sheets in exchange for some boring plain grey ones. Eunha smells like fresh mint and Jungkook is way into his head to focus on properly kissing her.

It’s not until his bedroom door is abruptly open, slamming against the wall that Jungkook literally jumps to his feet, making Eunha gasp as they both look at the person who has interrupted their awkward makeout session. 

“Guk-ah, what are you doin’?” You curiously wonder, a hiccup following right after which makes you giggle. Jungkook’s chest rises and falls with quickness as he notices you look different from the last time he saw you twenty minutes ago when you were talking to Jimin. “Guk-ah, were you—you kissin’ Eunha?” You ask once more after not receiving an answer to your previous question.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks in concern, coming closer to analyze your weird state. You stretch your arm out to avoid him from nearing you, making him falter in his place as he studies your expression. 

You hum, “Guk-ah, you busy. Sorry,” you apologize in a shy tone, ready to head back down and have more of that fruity alcohol punch you now found tasty, but you stumble and only avoid yourself from falling by holding onto Jungkook's door frame, he’s already reaching out by then. 

“Are you fucking serious, Y/N? Get out!” Eunha complains with irritation, getting up from the bed and ready to kick you out of his room, but his free arm stops her from getting near you. “Whu—?”

“Eunha, go back down. I’ll deal with her myself.” Jungkook says as calmly as he can, thinking three’s a crowd and dealing with you wasn’t an easy thing in of itself. She’s about to argue, but he interrupts her again, “Go down, now.” 

She rolls her eyes and bumps her shoulder against yours harshly once she steps out of his room, “Whatever, that kiss was shitty anyway.” 

He pretends he didn’t hear that and takes you in his arms instead, dragging you to lay on his bed as you cuddle into his favorite pillow and hug it close to your body. How much did you drink? Why did you even do it in the first place? Jungkook knows you’ve never tried alcohol before, which means he’ll be in big trouble if you show up back to your house like this. 

When you open your eyes hours later, your head hurts and it feels lightweight when you move it side to side. The room you’re in is familiar, that spiderman poster is still hung on the wall, but there are no more toys laying around the floor; they’ve probably been stored somewhere in his garage or sent off to a donation center under his mother’s demand.

The pillow that you’re hugging smells just like him and any other day you’d hold on to it tighter and inhale his scent like your life depended on it, but you abruptly sit on the bed as you’re reminded of how you got here. The action is not appreciated by your dizzy head, but you look around the room to notice how dark it is and there’s no more music playing downstairs. 

You quickly jump to the ground, only to hear a “Fuck, ouch!” from below, stepping on Jungkook’s leg unintentionally. It makes you gasp, looking down to notice the older friend laying on the cold floor, having gotten rid of that childhood carpet of his. His head’s laying on a makeshift pillow made out of a towel and he’s trying hard not to shiver. 

“I’m sorry, sorry, sorry!” You quickly apologize, stepping away from his figure as he soothes the shin of his leg you stepped on. “Jungkook, what happened?” 

He sighs, “Someone decided to drink like five cups of spiked punch knowing damn well it was their first time drinking alcohol, stepped into my room like a crazy person, and then crashed on my bed like they—What’s with the face?”

“Bathroom.”

Jungkook grimaces while he holds your hair back, you’re throwing away all the liquid you had taken with a few additional snacks you had munched on earlier, “Are you done?” He asks in a tired mumble and you shake your head no.

He feels guilty that you’re in this position. He didn’t even want to kiss Eunha, but she was one of the most popular girls in his grade and he knew that if he turned her down she would most likely put a bad word in with the rest of the girls and the guys would make fun of him for being such a wuss.

That would’ve been better, because after laying you down on his bed he had to go down and tell everyone that the party was over, putting an excuse that the neighbors had warned him and threatened to call the cops. They all cleared pretty quickly, but he knew he was going to be the butt of the jokes come Monday. He even had to call your parents to let them know you had gone home to a friend’s house for a sleepover, which he knew wasn’t totally believable, but it had somehow gotten them convinced that their daughter was alright because they trusted Jungkook to never hurt you ever. 

Once you feel like you’ve puked your stomach out, Jungkook hands you a pill accompanied with a glass of water and hands you clothes of his that might be more comfortable to sleep in. 

“Good night, Jungkook,” you whisper once you’re laying back on his bed, still hugging the pillow he preferred to sleep with. He makes a sacrifice to make it up to you. 

His back is going to hurt by the time the sun comes out in a few hours, but it’s okay if it means you’ll sleep comfortably after the events of tonight. “Good night, Y/N.” 

He’s unable to sleep, but finds entertainment in your hanging hand beside his bed. The skin on your palm looks soft and there’s this strange urge inside of him that makes him want to grab your hand in his, but he refrains. 

To calm the current chaos in his head, Jungkook finds peace in the light snores coming from his bed.

You’re just about to turn eighteen and your date to the prom is Jeong Jaehyun, who had only asked you out a day before the event because the girl he had initially wanted to take had been asked and he didn’t have a plan B. 

Jaehyun is okay, at least he managed to get you a corsage that matched the color of your dress. He even smiles in the pictures your parents take of you both as you awkwardly try to look comfortable with his arms around you even though by then you had only exchanged a few sentences. 

The prom’s theme is Summer Nights and you think it’s fitting considering this is the very last event before the graduation ceremony, meaning that you’d most likely never see most of these people ever again. You had purposely applied to a college that was outside of your hometown for that same reason. You’re ready to live the life you’ve always wanted to live, without anyone judging or knowing you. 

Your date spends most of the night talking with his group of friends as you’re left alone on your table, looking at your well manicured nails. You knew you weren’t going to get the same prom experience the high school kids on T.V enjoyed, but you at least hoped it would’ve been a little more fun than this.

A tap on your shoulder makes you turn around to see Jungkook trying to loosen the tight tie around his neck. He looks incredibly handsome and you suppose his mother helped him pick the suit out, Jungkook rarely ever wore fitted clothing, so this is one of those once in a lifetime moments..

“Hey you,” you say and he gives you half a smile, wondering why you’re sitting by yourself at an empty table when everyone else was either mingling or dancing. “Where’s your date?” You ask with curiosity, you’re surprised that Jinsoul isn’t trailing alongside him given how she had behaved for the past week ever since he asked her to come with him. 

“Retouching her face or something,” he answers casually, “what are you doing sitting here? Where’s Jaehyun?” Jungkook asks.

You shrug your shoulders, “Don’t know, probably talking with the guys of the basketball team. He’s been gone for a while.” Not like you care, anyway. If your conversation with him inside his car on the way to the venue had been any indication of what it would’ve been like for the rest of the night, you’re glad he's not here trying to make any more small talk with you.

Jungkook huffs, thinking he’ll kick his ass if he sees him. He had asked him to invite you so you wouldn’t come alone, and yet here you are, sitting all by yourself while the douchebag’s making a social life somewhere in the crowd. He calms down once he notices how unbothered you are by it, though. You’re a big girl now, you’ve been through too much to be affected by something as simple as this.

“Is there something you wan—“

“Dance!” You interrupt with excitement and Jungkook chuckles.

“I was gonna ask if you wanted something to drink, but—alright, let’s dance.” Jungkook can’t dance for shit, but you took lessons when you were younger and he can still remember how you’d always show him the routines you learned in class. He’d always boo you, but in reality you were pretty good. He wonders why you stopped, he doesn’t recall you ever telling him.

It’s just his luck that once you both step into the dancefloor, the hired DJ stops the up-tempo song playing before and switches to a much slower romantic one, “Alright everyone, I want all the couples on the dancefloor for this one.” 

You step away from him with nervousness, it’s couples only after all. But Jungkook holds onto your lower back firmly, pulling you closer into his space. Your eyebrows raise as your lips part, “Uh, s-should we, uh—?” 

“It’s just a song, Y/N. You wanted to dance, then we’ll dance.” He tells you with such confidence it makes you feel like this is totally normal and something all friends do. All the known High School couples are dancing together, heads tenderly placed over chests and chins resting lovingly above them. You wait for Jungkook to take the lead because you have no clue of what you should be doing, you might’ve taken dance lessons years ago but you’ve never slowed danced in your life. 

Jungkook places his hand on your hip, the touch makes goosebumps crawl in your arms. He pretends he doesn’t notice it as he takes your right hand in his. You stare at the way he delicately holds it like it’s his mother’s fine china. “Place your other hand on my shoulder,” he instructs and you do as asked, your palm coming to rest on the strong muscle. 

He’s only slowed danced once before at a family member’s wedding where his mother taught him how to, with her as the teacher. Back then he thought it was incredibly ridiculous, but now he’s sort of glad that happened because he’s the teacher now and you’re now looking at him with your big eyes as you sway alongside him. 

You clear your throat, “This isn’t that hard.” Jungkook nods as he stares down at you, noticing how uneasy you are given that you’re looking at everything and not entirely immersed in the moment.

“You look beautiful tonight.” He says out of nowhere, making you look at him like a deer stuck in headlights, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He had never called you that before. 

An awkward laugh escapes your lips, looking away from his intense gaze as you try not to take his words too literally, “Ha ha, that was a good one.” To you there’s no other explanation than this being one of his mean pranks on you.

But Jungkook doesn’t falter both his words and gaze, “I’m not laughing.” There’s seriousness in his voice and you have to look back at him again just to make sure he really isn’t, “You look beautiful, just take the compliment.” You nod and there’s silence between you two after that. You’re digesting the romantic lyrics that the singer is talking about and hope that the song ends soon, because you’ve never been this close to him and it’s starting to feel too crowded.

You clear your throat, “So…” 

“So…,” he repeats. 

“What are you doing for summer?” You ask him in an attempt to break the tension and wanting to take advantage of the little intimate moment since Jungkook rarely ever lets you pry into his private life. 

“I think I’ll train before heading off,” he answers. It was more than obvious he was going to earn that sports scholarship he had been aiming for, he was one of the best athletes on the school; though you considered him to be the number one between them all. “I’m kinda scared, not gonna lie.” 

You look at him with surprise, tilting your head to the side, “You’re scared?” You ask in disbelief because as long as you’ve known him, he’s never been scared of anything. This is the same kid who instilled your fear of monsters in a closet after watching Monster’s Inc. together, also the same kid who helped you get over it after he realized you had actually taken it seriously.

He chuckles lightly, “Yeah, I’m just scared about starting over.” It’s interesting how his biggest fear is the one you’re looking forward to the most, but you suppose it’s fitting for someone who has never had to worry about what people think of him. In this town, Jungkook has swam freely without any concerns. Out there, he’s just another fish in the big and scary ocean. “Aren’t you?” He questions, hoping that you’re able to relate to what he’s feeling. 

“Honestly, I—“ 

You’re interrupted by Jaehyun clearing his voice in front of you two, making you both turn your heads towards his direction. You quickly separate from Jungkook and he feels his body lose the warmness you were providing. 

“If you wanted to dance, you could’ve just asked. I’m your date after all.” He says smugly and you chuckle awkwardly, nodding because he’s right. 

Jungkook wants to punch his stupid face, how dare he interrupt you both when he had been ignoring you the whole night? Why does he suddenly want to dance with you when he’s probably still upset at him for asking Jinsoul to the prom before he could?

“Your date’s looking for you, buddy. She doesn’t look too happy.” Jaehyun adds with a smirk as he takes your hand in his and drags you away from Jungkook towards another place on the dancefloor. 

He’s left to stare at the way he holds your hand, and he only hopes he’s doing it ever so carefully. 

You’re twenty when Jungkook sees you for the first time since you both left for college two and half a years ago. He’s rendered speechless when he spots you in the crowd, there’s a manly hand around your waist as you giggle into the stranger’s mouth before placing a kiss to his lips. 

There’s only so much social media can provide him, pictures and stories aren’t enough for Jungkook to keep up with you. He thinks you’ve changed, not only appearance wise but you seem way more outgoing, carefree, and happy. Did he miss the boyfriend announcement picture? He’s sure he didn’t, he checks your profile almost every day and he’s never even seen him in any of your stories. 

A gasp escapes your lips once you spot him, completely forgetting about the possibility of bumping into him given that both your schools were playing against each other that night. You tell Namjoon you’ll be right back and he nods, going back to a conversation with the group of college friends you had made. 

You surprise him by jumping into him, arms around his shoulders as you hug him from behind. You let out a shrill of excitement and he blushes as his friends chuckle at the unexpected approach from this unfamiliar girl. 

‘‘Jungkook! You didn’t tell me you’d be here,’’ you say once he turns around to face you and he’s able to see you better upfront. You look beautiful and he thinks the Instagram pictures are not doing you enough justice. You’re glowing, and it has nothing to do with the highlighter you applied on your face and collarbone area. 

The both of you aren’t able to properly talk until you suggest moving to a different area, Jungkook apologizing to his friends as he explained he needed to catch up with an old friend. They don’t complain and instead shoot him teasing looks and small pervy comments that go by unnoticed to you. 

Jungkook listens with intent to your ramble about what you’ve been up to. From your courses, to your roommates, the parties you’ve attended, and even the fact that you handle your alcohol better now. He’s happy that you seem so too, but it irks him that you hadn’t been capable of telling him that you had a boyfriend now. Is there a reason as to why you omitted that important piece of information? 

‘‘And what about you? How’s college?’’ You ask with curiosity. 

He blinks a few times, realizing you had stopped talking about yourself and was now wondering about him instead. ‘‘It’s fine,’’ he answers with a tight lipped smile, the lack of detail compared to you was astonishing, but even though you were still hungry for more you decided not to pry any further. 

There’s fear in revealing that he’s been having a hard time catching up with the rest of his peers. College was indeed fine, but it could be better. He’s settled with the idea that this is as good at it’ll get, some things just aren’t like you expect them to be. At least you’re happy, and that fact brings him comfort. 

‘‘Was that your, uhm─boyfriend?’’ He finally asks after a while, both about to head back to your respective group of friends. 

The question takes you by surprise, looking at him with raised eyebrows and mouth agape. ‘‘Who? Namjoon?’’ He nods, though he doesn’t know anything about the guy he had first seen you with. You let out a wholehearted laugh, ‘‘Hell no, too many commitment issues with that one,’’ you answer and Jungkook’s forehead creases with confusion. 

Why were you kissing him then? 

‘‘We’re friends with benefits,’’ you inform him as if you had read his mind. ‘‘He’s a nice guy, though. Also, super smart, he’s helped me with a few of my─’’ 

‘‘You’re not a virgin anymore?’’ He abruptly asks, disbelief in his tone as he internally screams to himself for thinking out loud. Jungkook expects you to berate him about such an imprudent question, but is surprised when he sees you giggling. 

‘‘Duh, silly. I think I lost it freshman year?’’ The carelessness in your voice makes him look at you like you’ve gone crazy. Why are you so lax about this? Why are you telling him about losing your virginity without a care in the world? ‘‘Anyway, are you going to be home for the─’’

Jungkook interrupts you once again, ‘‘Was it with your boyfriend at the time?’’ He asks in genuine curiosity and you sigh, rolling your eyes slightly at him. 

‘‘No, it was some random dude at this party I went to. Could you please─’’

‘‘Y/N, are you insane? Why would you give up your virginity to some fucking stranger like it’s nothing?’’ Jungkook’s voice raises as he scolds you about being so negligent about yourself, ‘‘You can’t do shit like that!’’ He fumed, making you let out a breathless chuckle. 

‘‘Could you stop treating me like a fucking child for once in your life? I’m perfectly fine, Jungkook. I’ve been doing pretty well for myself without you here, actually. I don’t know why you think you have a say on what I do, is it the entitlement you have of me that you still carry around because we grew up together? Because if that’s it then you can drop it, I let go of my little girl who wanted a friend and was treated like pure shit in return complex a long time ago.’’ 

He knows you’re right, but he thinks he’ll always have this odd sense of protection over the five year old girl who cried to his mom about not lending her his favorite toy. He’ll always want to apologize to the eight year old girl who declared her love for him with a Valentine’s Day card while he ended up breaking her heart in exchange. He’ll always wish to look for help within the twelve year old girl who witnessed him give out his first kiss to another girl who he didn’t even like. He’ll always feel guilty towards the sixteen year old girl who had gotten tipsy on a spiked fruit punch and crashed on his bed. He’ll always hate himself for not asking the seventeen going on eighteen year old girl to prom when he knew he could’ve, but chose not to in fear of ruining your friendship. 

You only wanted someone to be there for you growing up and Jungkook had never been the brave boy you thought he was, always running from his fears in hopes he’d have a wide advantage margin from them. Yet here they are, standing right in front of him in the form of a twenty year old you, and they’re there to let him know that you’ve never needed him, yet he’s always needed you.

He can’t even apologize, he only looks at you with wide eyes as he fidgets in his place. Either you’re both too old now to understand each other or you just realized that you’ve outgrown Jungkook. 

Your mouth set in a hard line as you crossed your arms, the night’s breeze feeling colder than usual. ‘‘I miss you Jungkook, but I can’t keep playing this cat and mouse game with you any longer.’’ 

You leave him behind to go back to Namjoon’s arms, seeking refuge in his sweet embrace as you try your hardest to put on practice what you learned all those years ago when Jungkook broke your heart for the first time, you should be used to it by now.

You’re twenty-one when you’re back in your hometown to attend the funeral of the old lady down the street, the one that always scolded you and Jungkook growing up. 

You had been scared of her as a child, but always following along your friend’s footsteps when he proposed playing around her garden. It tugs at your heartstrings even if you hadn’t known the woman well. Her death was imminent seeing as she’d been ill for quite some time. 

A taller figure stands next to you as you both stand way in the back of the ceremony. He looks tired and you figure that it’s because of the fact he arrived late into the night, you heard his car’s engine from your bedroom window. Dressing in all black, you notice he bought a new suit. You’re sure that the one he wore for prom no longer fits considering he’s bigger now. 

You haven’t talked to each other since last year when you both left off on a sour note. The hurt you felt was no longer present, though. You chewed on your bottom lip as you thought of a way you could talk to him again without making things awkward, but you let out a small gasp once he placed his arm around your shoulders, giving it a small squeeze as he sighed and kept his focus on the service. 

Watching the casket be lowered into the ground felt weird. She was a human being just like you, but her existence was a reminder of your childhood. Would it be okay to say that her death meant a part of you leaving with her too? 

Once it hits you, it’s Jungkook who consoles you by hugging you tight. Your eyes are too blurry with tears for you to realize this is one of those rare moments where he’s holding you close without hesitation. He lets you ruin his tuxedo’s jacket with your mascara covered tears as he brushes your hair as a sign of comfort. 

You know things are back in order when he proposes the idea to go back to the old lady’s porch, for old times sake. ‘‘Will we ever let her rest?’’ You ask him with a small laugh as Jungkook sits on the doorsteps of the old lady’s empty home, opening the bag of candy worms he bought at the grocery store. 

He shrugs, ‘‘She loved us, always told my mom how much she missed us running around the street.’’ The revelation makes you smile, hoping it was true. He pats the empty space next to him, indicating for you to fill it up with your presence. Once you do, you feel the familiar warmth of his proximity. 

Jungkook seems different and you only hope he’s changed for the best. 

‘‘When are you going back?’’ You ask him with curiosity, hoping that he’ll be in town for a few more days so you can catch up with him on a better note this time around. 

He munches on one of the snacks, ‘‘Tomorrow morning, I have training camp and can’t miss it.’’ His answer makes you sigh with disappointment, but you nod nonetheless. ‘‘What about you?’’ He asks in return, and you inform him that you’ll stay for a few more days to spend time with your family. There’s silence after that and Jungkook can only offer you the gummy worms in the bag, you take one with a small thanks.  

‘‘College fucking sucks,’’ he says out of nowhere and it makes you look at him in bewilderement, ‘‘I hate it there, I wanna drop out so bad. But I’m a year away from graduating so it’s too late now.’’ You see his shoulders visibly relax, like a weight had been lifted off them. ‘‘Plus my mom would kill me if I do so,’’ he adds with a chuckle. 

Last time you asked everything was fine. Had things changed or had they always been this way and he was just now being honest with you?

You rest your head on his shoulder and focus all of your undivided attention on him as he keeps rambling about what his life has been ever since he left this town. He’s had bad games, bad grades, and bad girls. But he’s also had incredible games, good grades, and a couple great hookups, and yet he still feels empty, it’s not enough. 

‘‘I miss you,’’ he mumbles as he faces you, ‘‘I’m sorry for being such a shitty friend, you deserved better.’’ His apology is genuine and you can feel it in the way his voice trembles, sincerity has always scared him after all. 

Jungkook’s never known when the time is right, and he misjudges the look on your face. When he leans down to press his lips against yours, he’s blinded for a mere moment into believing that you wanted to kiss him just as much as he had been waiting. 

You abruptly separate from him with wide eyes and parted lips, ‘‘Jungkook, I’m─I’m dating Namjoon now.’’ He can physically feel his heart shatter, the revelation coming out like an old newspaper headline he should’ve read a long time ago. 

He lets out a breathless chuckle, ‘‘He got over the commitment issues?’’ The rhetorical question is bitter. 

You scoff, ‘‘And what about it? I preferred to wait than to rush into getting my heart broken.’’ Plus it’s not like you were expecting Namjoon to grow feelings for you, the whole no strings attached arrangement was named that way for a reason. 

Jungkook looks at you with narrowed eyes and he shakes his head sightly. Old habits never die down, still so stubborn and challenging as ever. 

He’s startled as you stand abruptly, fuming as you look at him, ‘‘I don’t even know why you care! Did you forget that you threw my Valentine’s Day card into the trash? Or that you kissed Yeji in front of my face? Or that you let Taehyung date me as prank between your friends? Or that you were making out with Eunha while Jimin kept giving me alcohol? Or that you asked Jaehyun to take me to the stupid prom even though I was perfectly fine going without him or anyone for that matter?’’

‘‘We were just kids!’’ Jungkook argues back at you.

‘‘It still fucking hurt,’’ you counter, ‘‘still hurts, actually. You think that by giving me a measly apology and kissing it better I’ll suddenly forget about all of it?’’ Jungkook knows it won’t ever make up for all those years, but he had at least hoped you’d be willing to give him a chance. 

He wishes he could say something else. Explain that he had just tried to protect you in his own shitty way from everyone else or himself maybe, he doesn’t know anymore. He wants to speak up again, but there’s disappointment written all over your face, you’re not angry at him...just saddened. 

‘‘Hope you have fun at your training camp.’’

Jungkook watches as you leave him sitting by himself on the old lady’s doorstep. A hand runs through his hair as he feels his eyes water, and he can almost hear a whisper in the wind that asks him why he didn’t stop you when he could’ve. 

Jungkook didn’t think that his family coming together with yours for Christmas dinner would’ve been a great idea. You’re cold to him at first and it’s fitting for the winter weather, but as always it only takes for him to sit next to you for things to warm up again. 

It’s with the excuse that you’ll run over to your house to grab a new bottle of wine from the kitchen counter that Jungkook trails behind you, both slightly tipsy on the different alcohols your families had offered each other. 

Years have passed since he last stepped foot inside your home, you used to visit him more often than he did anyway. It still smells and looks the same; the only difference is that there’s new pictures of you hung up on the walls, updated accordingly to the changes you’ve made ever since you left off for college.

You’re sporting a big smile in all of them, which in exchange makes him copy the action as well. His lack of presence in your life has done you better than compared to when he was around, and if that’s the case, then at least he did something right. 

There hasn’t been much said since the beginning of the night, just a simple hey out of courtesy. There’s so much he wants to say, but with no clue where to begin. Another apology is due, though he thinks it’s a little too late for that. He also wants to ask about what you’ve been up to since he last saw you, are you still dating the Namjoon guy you had told him about after he kissed you? If he’s still there, Jungkook rather keep quiet and not wonder out loud to you, he’s sure that it’ll hurt if it’s true. 

Growing up Jungkook always mistook your bravery with stubbornness and your courage with relentlessness. You’ve always been challenging, but only because you wanted him to do so too. It’s moments like this that prove him that you’ve always been the stronger between the two.

‘‘So, we’re just gonna pretend like nothing’s wrong between us?’’ You ask, speaking directly to him for the first time that night. It makes him look at you like a deer stuck in headlights, surprised by the sudden question and out of all the years of knowing each other, he feels small under your gaze for once. ‘‘How much time is it going to pass until you want to finally talk things like adults?’’ 

Jungkook gulps the lump in his throat, his brain quickly thinking of the right thing to say, ‘‘I just wanted to protect you from─’’

‘‘From what? From you? Everytime you’ve done that I end up getting hurt in the end. I’m left to pick the pieces up by myself,’’ you interject with anger in your voice. ‘‘It fucking pisses me off that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you kissing me, I haven’t stopped thinking about you and─’’ A sigh, you close your eyes to center yourself again as Jungkook waits for the final blow, ‘‘and you look like none of this has ever bothered you in the slightest because, you don’t really care about me do you?’’

‘‘I do care about you.’’ He’s sure about it, even though he’s been extremely bad at showing it. 

Even though your eyes are threatening to spill tears, you still muster up the last bit of what’s left of your courage to step closer to him until you’re a few inches away. ‘‘Prove it, then. Show me that you care.’’ 

His brain is sent into quick overdrive due to your close proximity. There’s a slight hesitation because he only hopes that what he’s about to do is what you’re demanding him to prove. He doesn’t care if you’re still dating the Namjoon guy because he’s settled with the idea that it’s okay if you don’t correspond, it’s not like he did the same to you when you were both younger. 

Once his lips press against yours, there’s no turning back. He’s waiting for you to push him back and let him know that your heart’s still taken, but you kiss him with such fervor that he knows in that moment that you’re right, it’s better to wait than to rush right in. 

It’s no fairytale kiss, though. There’s desperation in the way you chase his lips, as if you were to slow down he’d find a way to escape from you. You grip the cotton material of his crewneck into your small fists, holding on to the fabric like your life depended on it. The small kiss you had both shared last year was nothing compared to this, and Jungkook’s taken aback by your neediness. 

He doesn’t know how you manage to drag him to your childhood bedroom without missing a beat, only separating once you both realize you need to catch your breaths, and even then Jungkook can’t have a minute to take just happened in because your lips attach to his neck to get more of a taste. His fingers curled around your arm, sighing at the way your kisses felt like electricity on his skin. 

‘‘Y/N,’’ he calls your name out in a breathy tone, but you’re too immersed in your little bubble to even realize it. 

Jungkook groans when you bite into the skin of his neck, then blowing over the red mark as you kissed it better. It’s going to be bruise and he doesn’t like when that happens, but he’s not bothered at all if it comes from you. He forcibly grabs your chin so you can face him, looking at him with big eyes, a small pout, and with your chin messed with drool. 

It’s then that Jungkook kisses you hungrily, making you feel like you’re in a dream-like state,  though you could partially blame the Christmas eggnog for that. The way he bites at your lips and how your tongues clash together is an extreme juxtaposition as to how you could describe this moment. It’s as if you’re floating on air, clouds surrounding you in a heavenly embrace, angels singing in the background every time his hands touch, grab, hold and caress every part of your body. And yet, even with such a difference, it’s perfect because it’s Jungkook. You’ve been waiting for this too long, which is why your hands creep beneath his crewneck, touching his tonified abdomen tentatively and enjoying the way goosebumps arise on his skin at the sensation of your fingers trailing patterns wherever they caress.  

It’s only fair that he pays attention to yours as well. Jungkook’s lips trail from your mouth onto your jawline, planting wet kisses on each space until he begins sucking on the skin of your neck, making you moan in the process. He chooses then that his new favorite sound is the way you voice out the pleasure he gives you. ‘‘Hurry up,’’ you say, ridding the bottom of the crewneck higher over his stomach, making him shiver at the sudden change of temperature. 

Jungkook chuckles before completely getting rid of the material, ‘‘Calm down,’’ he sighs as he gives you a sweet smile, ‘‘You know our moms could talk forever.’’ 

You ogle his chest, admiring the way his training camps have obviously done wonders to his body. ‘‘It’s not them I’m talking about,’’ you correct him with a teasing smile that only makes his grin grow wider, chuckling at your impatience. Jungkook lets out a small gasp of surprise when your hands grasp at his shoulder blades, turning him around so you can back him until the back of his knees hit the edge of your bed. It’s funny how he lets himself be bossed around by someone who’s way smaller compared to his frame.

Jungkook finds leverage on his elbows splayed against the mattress, your knees resting on each side of his hips as you leaned into him and kissing him just as widely as you had done before. Jungkook could fill just how quick things were escalating, especially the way his crotch area was beginning to become a problem he couldn’t possibly control at the moment, not with your own being directly on top of it. In any other situation he would’ve apologized with an awkward laugh, but his breath hitches once your hips start grinding over him.  

His hands make their way on the inside of your knitted sweater, provoking goosebumps on the exposed skin. You let out a shaky laugh, halting your movements so you can quickly get rid of the fabric as Jungkook’s eyebrows lift in surprise at your haste and then at the sight of your bra covered breasts. His hands are still steadily placed on each side of your waist, only brought up because your own had redirected them over your breasts, hoping he gets the message on what you want him to do now.   

Jungkook hesitantly squeezed one of the round globes, provoking a small moan to come from out of your lips. He wishes to hold you as close as he possibly can because the idea of ever being away from you again has been his main fear as of lately. But he refrains, you look so delicate and he feels like you could easily break. He stares at your body lovingly and your cheeks heat up at the way his eyes ogle your chest like a kid in a candy story. You give his arm a light slap and he chuckles, leaning over you to place a passionate kiss on your lips.

“You’re beautiful,” he says frankly. It doesn’t help to dissipate the flush on your face, but the compliment doesn’t bother you in the slightest. Jungkook leans in to trail kisses past your collarbones and into the swell of your breasts, making you bite your lip with anticipation. He looks at you asking for permission and you nod quickly with parted lips as you start to become impatient for him to make his next move. Jungkook lowers the cups of your breasts, freeing your hardened nipples and immediately envelopes one of them with his lips. “Mph—!” A sigh escapes your lips as you try to memorize the way his tongue traces over your tit. He pays attention to your other one, fingers rolling over the bud and pinching ever so often. 

You can feel your panties damp by then, trespassing into the fabric of the black leggings you’re wearing over them. Reaching behind your back, you fumble in unclasping the hooks of the now uncomfortable bra. Jungkook’s forced to stop the undivided attention he had places on your breasts to look at you like he’s lost, why are you going so fast? 

Once your hands delve with the buckle of his belt, he has to hold on to your wrists with a firm grasp, ‘‘What are you doing?’’ He asks with quick breath, you blink stoically towards him. 

‘‘Uh─getting you naked?’’ You answer with a nonchalant tone, but his hands don’t let go and your demeanor changes, ‘‘D-Did you not want this?’’ Your voice turns smaller, embarrassed that maybe you had pressured him into something he didn’t want to participate in. 

Jungkook quickly shakes his head no, ‘‘No, I-I do want this! It’s just─you’re going so fast,’’ he tries to explain, ‘‘I’ve been waiting for this for too long, I don’t wanna rush.’’ Your eyes lit up at the revelation as he waits for you to answer back, only for his back to hit the comforter with a small thud, giggling at the way you urgently kiss him again, but this time with much more care. 

‘‘Why didn’t you say so before, stupid?’’ You mumble with a sheepish look, ‘‘I thought it was just going to be─nevermind, I need you right now.’’ You have to force yourself from spitting out any details that could possibly ruin the moment between you two, deciding to wait instead for any emotional confessions you want to make. 

He switches positions between the two, panting as he brings you down to the mattress and Jungkook can feel the goosebumps on your skin, whether from the coldness of the room or because of the sheer electricity of his hands caressing your body like it was molded just right for him. He dips his hand lower, cupping your clothed heat on his hand. It makes you tremble and you whine, encouraging him to keep going. 

“Baby, you’re really wet,” he comments with a teasing tone and you pout at him. His fingers hook into the waistband of your leggings and he pulls them down as he travels with them, greeted by the sight of the damp cloth of your panties. He exhales with content, caressing your thighs in an up and down motion. You twist underneath him and he has to hold your hips down to calm you down, “Patience is a virtue.” 

“I’ve been too patient, do some—Ah!” Your whining is interrupted once Jungkook moves your underwear to the side holding it with his free hand, fingers coming to trace the slick covering your pussy lips. He becomes entranced with the transparent gooey liquid, bringing them close to his face as he separates his fingers and sees a strand connecting between them. “Guk-ah, p-please…” Your needy voice brings him back to reality, delving his fingers back into your exposed heat but this time with intent. 

Jungkook’s thumb lifts the hood covering your clit, mouth coming down to give it a small tentative kiss. That action alone has you writhing above him, it makes him chuckle to himself as he dives back in. The moans you let out are loud and clear inside your bedroom, thankful that it’s only you and him inside your house. Your hand pulls at his hair, making him groan against you and the vibrations are felt throughout your body, only adding to the euphoric pleasure you already possess. His fingers trace the inside of your thighs until they reach your entrance, circling the fluttering hole which makes you pull at his hair harder and with your other you hold on to the bedsheets of the comforter tightly into your fist. 

Jungkook’s tongue is still working your engorged bud, but he focuses his eyes on you as he dips the first finger inside you. “Oh—fuck,” you let out in a breathy moan. He tries to maintain a rhythm between his two ministrations, but it’s hard when he wants to focus on all of them at once. “‘Nother, please,” you begged once he let your clit rest, quickly following your request by adding another into your warm heat. He lets out a breathless chuckle as he notices how easy it is to thrust both fingers inside of you, your whole crotch area is covered in slick and his wet chin is a dead giveaway to where he was seconds ago. 

He watches you unravel over him with such adoration, not even his wettest dreams or dirtiest fantasies could prepare him for this. Seven minutes in heaven he plans to stay in forever. “Guk-ah, I wan’ you. I-Inside, please.” You plead with teary eyes, and he slowly stops, removing his arousal covered fingers from inside you as he makes you sigh in the process. He kisses you again and again, your hazy brain is probably hallucinating all of this right now, but damn is it good. You tug at the crewneck he’s wearing, he’s too overdressed for this occasion. He tends to your demands, quickly getting rid of all the layers of clothing that stop him from being inside of you fully. 

“I don’t have a—“ 

“I’m on the pill.”

You both speak at the same time, making each other chuckle. Jungkook gulps at the idea of taking you raw as the first time together, and you salivate at his hardened length; the head already oozing precum out and you want nothing more than to wrap your lips around it and lick the tip up. You’re just about to when Jungkook quickly grabs your wrist to stop you from reaching him, you look up at him with the big sparkly eyes he has loved for too long. 

“I just—I wanna be inside you right now,” he sheepishly admits, and you smile with a nod; sharing the sentiment. You back up until your head rests on the pillows comfortably, relaxing into the mattress as you wait for Jungkook to ready himself. He places a kiss on your lips before placing a hand next to your head, using it as leverage above you. His free hand takes his cock and rubs the tip along your folds, making you squirm with anticipation. Jungkook chuckles, “Are you ready?” He asks with a sweet smile. 

“I’ve always been,” you whisper, your hand tucking a strand of his long hair behind his ear. 

A caress to his cheek as he nods, slowly pushing the head of his dick into you. You bite into your lip hard, it’s been a while since you had sex with someone and Jungkook’s size and girth was different from the rest. Your walls are tight around him and he has a tough time trying to reach the hilt with you squeezing him so hard, “Baby, relax for me.” He pleads and you nod apologetically, breathing in deep as you feel him reach parts inside of you, you didn’t know existed. Once he’s all the way in, he waits for you to give him the go ahead while he presses kisses into your heated cheek. You wrap your legs around his waist and give him a nod, letting him know he was allowed to start thrusting.

Jungkook manages to hit all the right places, keeping a steady pace as he enters and exits you each time. You’re left to moan and writhe underneath him, letting him take you as he pleases. Your kisses become messy, teeth biting into each other’s lips, teeth grazing against each other as you both tried to fight for the dominant position. It’s that heavy makeout that incites you to push at his shoulders, making him turn in his back, exiting you in the process. Jungkook pants, chest rising and falling with quickness as you straddle his lap, arms connecting behind his neck. 

“You always want to win, right?” He chuckles with half lidded eyes, enjoying the way your pussy lips grinded over his twitching length. You bat your eyelashes at him, offering him an innocent smile. The same technique that used to get you everything you wanted when you were younger. Same determination as you seek for what’s yours. He’s under you after all, still a victim to your charms.

Jungkook takes the bulbous head of his cock and teases it in your clit, if you weren’t holding on to him tight you would’ve collapsed into his chest. And by the way you moan his name out, he knows you’ll always look for him no matter the weather. “What a pretty girl,” he coos into your hair and you pinch his nipple in retaliation which only makes him groan in return. “My pretty girl.” He states before sinking himself deep into you again, sighing at the feeling of your hips circling over him. His rough hands guide them as you bounce up and down his length, moaning every time you rose and hissing when you came back down. 

He makes sure to keep this image engraved on his head forever. Your breasts bouncing over his face, your thighs working extra hard to keep up with his thrusts, and the way your sounds bounced off the walls of your bedroom. 

“You’re doing s-so good, baby.” Jungkook praises you, kneading your ass cheek. “Taking my cock s-so well,” he falls into a trance of admiring the way his length would appear and disappear inside of you, covered in a thick layer of your arousal. It makes him drill into you faster, sitting properly against the bed’s headboard as he takes your hips with force. He’s too turned on to keep treating you so delicately, and the way you moan and pant at the increase in speed only lets him know you enjoy him like this way more. “I-Is it good, baby? Am I-I fucking you well?” He asks in between rapid thrusts, your thighs had given out by then. 

You nod and a whimper escapes your lips, “Y-yes, Guk-Ah. S-so good, feels amazing.” Your praise is honest, the fucked out tone in your voice is a clear indicator of how well of a job he was doing. A minute longer and you’ll be right on cloud nine, never wanting to come back down. “Wanna cum Guk-Ah, plea—“ There’s no need for you to even finish your sentence because his thumb rubs your clit in figure eights, making you groan with the intensified feeling of his hips circling inside you deliciously. You can almost see the blinding white light ahead as Jungkook kisses you feverishly. You feel tears escape the corners of your high, the familiar feeling tickling inside you as Jungkook’s thrusts don’t let up. ‘‘Ah! Yes, yes, fuck,’’ you cry out once your orgasm hits. Jungkook holds you close to his chest, trying to soothe your shaking body with his arms. Your walls squeeze and relax continuously around him, it serves him as the impulse he needs to chase his own high. 

‘‘I love you, Jungkook,’’ you confess in between panting breaths, ‘‘so much.’’ 

His release shoots out and he groans, digging crescent moons into your hips. You hiss at the sensation, but giggle at how his eyes are screwed shut and brows still furrowed together, as if he was holding on to the last of his orgasm. In reality, Jungkook is just hoping that once he opens his eyes you’ll still be in his arms. Your fingers tilting his head to face you are very much real, he sees spots once he opens his eyes as they adjust to the room’s lighting. 

‘‘I love you too.’’ He says with a fixed gaze and you coo at how perfect this is.

You’re twenty-two when Jungkook’s finally yours.

You’re both twenty-three and it’s another weekend spent at his apartment, he’s been playing for three hours now and you’ve given up on having him pay attention to you. Deciding to switch your plan around and join him instead, if only he would let you play.

‘‘Jungkook, you said it was going to be my turn five rounds ago!’’ You complain with a pout, crossing your arms across your chest. 

His gaze is still stuck on the T.V screen, ‘‘Baby, shhh, you’re gonna make me lose.’’ He mumbles as he tries to remain concentrated on the game in hand, but he can hear your humph’s from behind him, ‘‘Patience is a─’’

‘‘Virtue, yeah, who cares.’’ You interrupt him with a roll of your eyes, familiar with the saying a little too well. ‘‘Hope you remember that for later tonight,’’ you add in a mumble, but he doesn’t hear it because of the loud sounds coming from the game on the screen. 

‘‘What did you say, babe?’’ He asks with a raised brow, hitting the buttons of the controller with expert ease. 

‘‘I’ll call your mom and tell her you don’t wanna share.’’ You joke with a threatening voice, but Jungkook knows better than to take your words so lightly. He pauses the game and turns to look at you with an are you serious? expression on his face, you giggle as you’ve finally got what you wanted. 

He apologizes by covering your face with kisses, pleading for you not to tell on him with his mom. You promise not to do so this time, knowing that the woman was probably tired of having to scold his son at his big age. 

Plus, ever since Jungkook surprised you with the almost exact replica of the Valentine’s Day card you gave him all those year back, you’ve taken advantage to tease him even more knowing he’s at your beck and call. You always remind him that he came close because the stickers he used were not like the ones you had, but he remembered to add the hearts on the I’s so that’s good enough. 

‘‘Alright you can play, but━!’’ He says after he finishes his attack of kisses, ‘‘I’ll be your guide, I can’t risk you messing my record up, no offense baby.’’ None taken as you nod excitedly, you’ll always take whatever chance he gives you. 

Jungkook’s finally learned how to share his toys after all.

#heartsforbts #bangtanhq #btswritingcafe #jungkook smut #jungkook au #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook scenario #jungkook fic #bts smut #f: year 22

[mooniefics]

AFTER CONTEMPLATING FOR SEVERAL MINUTES:

reiner braun 🤪 + “please?? just pretend we’re dating. it’s only for today, i promise!”

this is literally the cutest moonie, i'm proud of you for hitting 250!! ilysm 💖✨💕

oh my gosh i’m so sorry this took me so long,, thank u so much for the request n the congratulations mar !! very happy that my first work for this event can be for my love, our one n only reiner ♡(｡- ω -)

in all your years of knowing reiner, you couldn’t say that you’d ever once heard him sounding so frantic.

“please?? just pretend we’re dating. it’s only for today, i promise!”

those were the exact words he’d used over the phone, imploring for you to come to the official marley high ten-year reunion and pose as his girlfriend. despite how you assured him that you were certain no one would judge him for being single, he seemed adamant that it would be the exact opposite. and after a few apologies for your laughter at his predicament and a brief negotiation over his payment of getting you your favorite drink from the cafe near your workplace for the next few weeks, it was a done deal.

though you admittedly felt a twinge of anxiety upon entering the venue of chattering adults, dressed in the best semi-formal outfit you had in your closet, you could see that he was the more obviously nervous one between the two of you.

“just relax, rei.” you murmured, slipping your hand in his and giggling at the way his arm tensed, “these are your high school friends! i’m sure they’ll be surprised enough that you managed to find a nice girl like me all by yourself—“ he huffed disapprovingly, earning another small laugh, “—and only ask about your work or something.”

you barely finished your brief attempt at a pep talk when a loud voice came from somewhere by the food table. “is that you, braun?!”

reiner’s jaw shifted, a sign you’d come to learn meant him holding back a wince, turning to see a man with slicked back hair and a broad grin on his face approaching. based on his heavy-lidded gaze, paired with the red solo cup tipping dangerously horizontal in his grasp, you assumed he was quite tipsy already.

“considering how late you are, i wasn’t sure you’d even show,” he chuckled, still having to peer up at reiner despite still being taller than you, “but the more i thought about it, the more i remembered you never were the punctual type anyways.”

“great to see you too, porco..” reiner replied half-heartedly, palm already getting clammy in your grasp.

you glanced momentarily between them, deciding to come to your friend’s rescue by clearing your throat, drawing the teasing attention away from him. “actually, he was late because of me.” you flashed a smile, leaning into reiner’s side. “just wanted to look my best since i knew i was gonna be meeting his old friends.”

“holy shit..” porco muttered after a moment of silence, hazel eyes blowing wide as he stared at you like you’d disappear if he blinked even once, only breaking his gaze to turn over his shoulder and call out, “piecky, c’mere! i think reiner’s actually got a fuckin’ girlfriend!!”

you barely stifled a laugh at reiner’s low sigh of discomfort, pointedly ignoring how the people around glanced at porco’s shout. “did you seriously used to hang around with that guy?”

“no..” he grumbled back, “he hung around the people i hung around with and always gave me shit for no reason.”

“wow, rei, feeling a little feisty tonight, are we?”

he scoffed as you reached up to poke at his cheek, able to see the pink flush that had settled over his sharp features despite the dim lighting, dodging your inquiry while he looked ahead. “he’s coming back.”

putting on the smile you’d practiced so many times right back on, you caught sight of a cheerful dark-haired woman sidling over to your small group. “reiner?! you seriously got even taller? who’s this?”

you both exchanged names, offering a hand for her to shake which she eagerly took, turning to reiner for affirmation of your identity, to which he said, “yeah, she's my.. girlfriend...”

“how long have the two of you been together?”

“a couple months—”

“—almost a year.”

you quickly laughed off the sudden nerves of giving conflicting answers, turning back to reiner’s friends and recovering with, “we’re not super big on keeping track of dates. you know how time flies when you love someone.” you turned up to reiner, lips perking into a doting smile, “right?”

his cheeks flushed an even darker red, a sheepish smile brightening his expression. “right.”

“looks like you’re the only single one, pock.” pieck teased, laughing when the man rolled his eyes and huffed.

“you’re still with zeke?” reiner asked, prompting her to extend her left hand, waggling her fingers to show off the large diamond ring on her finger.

“yep, engaged for two years now!”

“apparently still too good to come to anything she invites him to.” porco grumbled in response.

“i already told you he’s on a business trip,” she frowned, taking his cup from his hand and taking a generous sip from it, “i’m sure he would’ve come if he hadn’t had somewhere else to be.”

“whatever you say..” he sighed, letting her finish his drink despite his apparent annoyance.

thankfully, your small slip up had been ignored, allowing both you and reiner to relax when the two finally turned their attention back to you. the night progressed much less turbulently than you’d previously anticipated, reiner allowing you to handle any questions directed at your relationship, not saying anything when you frequently slipped in little white lies to make everything seem more convincing. it didn’t stray terribly far from the truth, you were entirely honest about the way you’d met and the things that had made you “fall in love with him”. 

you took a strange amount of joy in posing as his significant other, just as he gave equally genuine reactions when you wrapped his arm around your shoulder or ate something from his plate of food, flustered and smiling all throughout. for a few brief moments, you almost forgot that he was meant to be pretending too. he’d seemed more than happy to see that you were getting along well with all his old friends.

you learned more about reiner in the hour that you’d been milling around the room with him than you probably ever had in the confines of the job environment that you’d met him in—intrigued to hear that he’d been the captain of the football team, feuded with the neighboring high-school’s while being head over heels for the captain of their cheer team, held the title of champion arm-wrestler for all four years he attended marley—little details that you made you would’ve never known had you never agreed to come. the unintentionally intimidating, humble, easy-to-fluster human resources manager that you’d befriended apparently used to be a total jock, always getting himself into trouble. 

and, based on how many times you’d been congratulated on managing to stick by his side for longer than a few months, you could only assume that you hadn’t even scratched the surface of discovering the entirety of reiner’s character.

eventually, your small group of four that’d you started out the night with had reconvened, tipsy from constantly sipping on spiked punch, an excited exclamation from pieck made all of you turn. “look! the photo booth finally opened up!!”

she was already rushing away for the corner of the venue before anyone could say a word, everyone following suit with a laugh as she stuffed a five dollar bill into the pay slot.

“uhh, pieck, i think this thing was only meant for two people.. max.” porco said after drawing open the curtain, earning a frown from her.

“but i want us all to take a picture together!” she slid into the booth despite the observation, turning to you, “c’mon, i’m sure we could all squeeze in if you sat on reiner’s lap.”

you felt your face flush, knowing there was no way to work around her request without raising some kind of suspicion and ruining the act you’d both somehow maintained for the entire night. “sounds like a plan..!”

you could feel how tense reiner was behind you as you got settled on his thighs, hesitating to rest his hands on either side of you while pieck and porco struggled to work the screen before them. you were starting to regret not asking if this was okay with him before agreeing, but you were sure he would’ve found some way out of the situation if he was truly uncomfortable. he only seemed to be preoccupied with the thought of making you uncomfortable, something which made a flicker of affection warm your chest.

“alright! we’ve got four pictures,” pieck announced, “starting... now! and make the first a normal one!”

the first three pictures were the standard photo booth antics—one with all of you smiling normally, one with all of you making the most ridiculous face you could think of in five seconds, and one of all of you arguing over what the third photo should’ve been.

“do something cute for the last one to make up for the messed up one!” pieck demanded through her laughter, pointing urgently at the countdown on the screen, “hurry up an’ kiss or something!!”

you turned back to look at reiner, wide golden eyes gazing down at you, obviously unprepared for the steadily escalating circumstance that was only being intensified by the chanting of “kiss, kiss, kiss!” coming from the woman who’d paid for the photos in the first place. and although you knew you had no obligation to do what she asked just because she had been so kind to you despite only meeting you tonight, or because the timer was winding down towards zero all too quickly, you still found yourself reaching out a hand to settle just under his jaw, heart racing impossibly fast when you realized he was already leaning down to meet you halfway.

his lips were still sweet with whatever juice had been mixed with alcohol, skin warm and blushing from your proximity, the hand that had been resting in your lap wandering to lace your fingers with his. the exchange didn't last nearly long enough, the click of the camera drawing you back to the cramped reality, pieck's cheers through giggles and porco's disgusted scoff for you two to get a room.

"i better be invited to your wedding!" pieck joked, reaching across you to draw open the curtains in a silent sign for you to pry yourself away from reiner.

"likewise." you replied with a smile, almost giddy with excitement as you clambered out of the photo booth.

though reiner's expression just barely passed as casual, his cheeks were burning red, even the tips of his ears flushed as the four of you waiting for the machine to dispense your photos. the function was winding down fast, and as soon as your drawn-out goodbyes were finally finished, you and reiner left, hand-in-hand, much to talk over but neither of you willing to speak until you'd reached the privacy of his car.

you turned to him, smiling in the dim glow on the lights of his dash, laughing softly at his sheepish expression, "i know you said we'd only pretend for a day but.. you think i could request a little extension?"

#moonie's shooting star event 1 #reiner braun #snk reiner #snk #aot #reiner x reader #reiner x you #reiner x y/n #attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk x reader #snk x y/n #snk x you #aot x y/n #aot x reader #aot x you #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction

[junicai]

NCT being whipped for miyazu aria for seven minutes ;

325,078 views • 07 Feb 2021 • uploaded by [haechanieski]

[ NCT 127 Takes a Friendship Test ; Glamour 2020 ]

offscreen: “So, what was your first impression of Aria?” 

Aria pressed herself into Doyoung’s side briefly, muttering a translation of the question into his ear. They had been briefed on the questions beforehand anyway, but she wanted to make sure he understood before he began answering - just in case he had forgotten.

Doyoung tilted his head down to Aria, a mischievous grin making its way onto his face; and it was only then, that Aria remembered exactly how the two had met in the first place. 

Aria started to flush, shaking her head rapidly and burying her face into her hands. “Oh god no,” she whined. 

Doyoung laughed at her, pulling her into his side with an arm over her shoulder and holding her there while he began speaking. 

“Ah, Aria? We met for the first time when Aria was still tiny - well, tinier,” 

“Hey!” 

“And,” Doyoung continued on, laughing, “I had left my jacket in one of the practice rooms. It was a gift from my hyung, so I had gone back to get it even though it was really late. But when I went in to get it, I found Aria, sitting on the floor in the dark with it over her lap instead.” 

At this point, Aria had fully buried her face into Doyoung’s chest, in a futile attempt to hide her reddened cheeks. “I thought it belonged to one of my friends,” she weakly protested, embarrassed by the laughs of the staff members behind the camera. “You scared me when you came in!” 

“You stole my jacket!” 

Aria sent a withering look to the camera. 

“Czennie. Doyoung-oppa doesn’t care if I freeze, I want you to remember this.”

Doyoung gaped at her, yanking her back into his arms with an offended gasp, “Yah, you brat that’s a lie.”

Aria began sliding to the floor, letting her arms go boneless and limp. “You don’t love me!”

Doyoung started to stop with her, trying to hold her up in his arms. “Aria, Aria don’t sit on the floor it’s dirty, get up-”

The music of the other idol groups played quietly through the green room’s speakers, a small television setup in the upper right hand corner allowing the idols inside to monitor the performances outside. 

Renjun tossed a half full water bottle over to Jisung, who was sitting on the floor beside the sofa where Jaemin, Jeno and Aria were; all three of them looking elated yet exhausted. 

Ridin’ was a choreography heavy dance, and although Aria hadn’t many lines in this particular song, she was still struggling to push through the residual pain in her lower back. She had strained it earlier on in the month, pushing herself too far with too little preparation during rehearsals and was paying the price for it.

Most of Aria’s time in the greenroom before their performance was spent ensuring the other boys that yes, she was ok to perform and no, she wasn’t going to sit this one out.

The boys begrudgingly accepted her protests; but that hadnt stopped Jeno ever-so-carefully tugging her onto the sofa once they returned to the greenroom post-performance, gently pushing her to lie her head down on Jaemin’s lap and bringing her legs up into Jeno’s. 

Jisung had wandered over later, eyes stuck to his phone screen but he willingly sacrificed his left hand to hold onto Aria’s when she hissed at the knot Jeno was trying to knead out of her lower back.

Jaemin shushed her softly, running a hand through her hair and untangling strands with his fingers. When Aria’s eyes had clenched shut and a whimper broke out from between her lips, Jeno’s hands froze in their movements, instantly bending closer to whisper apologizes.

“No, no it’s okay,” Aria said, attempting to prop herself up. 

Jaemin pressed her back down, her head staying in his lap. “Stop it, let Nono help.”

She knew that there was something more to say, but having awknowledged that their current circumstances were not the best to have such a discussion, he settled for carding a hand through her hair again. 

Aria let her eyes drift closed, hand still curled in Jisung’s, and legs pillowed in Jeno’s lap. 

Who’s name do you think matches their appearance? 

Kun pressed his lips together, thinking. 

“Hm, all of the members put a lot of thought into their stage names, so they all fit very well,” he hummed, eyes flickering between the paper and the camera. 

He took in a breath, clearly torn. 

“Ah!” he exclaimed, looking up to the camera. “Aria, her name fits her really well; Akari is such a beautiful name and it compliments her personality perfectly. She’s really like a fruit sometimes - she’s always cheerful and energetic, like she’s on a constant sugar rush. Very sweet.” the smile that overtook Kun’s features was nothing sort of soft. 

He quickly scribbled down Aria’s name in Hangul, before rolling the pen into the middle of his palm and straightening up again.

“Yiyang, is her Chinese name - she asked me to give her one last year. And you shouldn’t listen to Winwin, her full name is Qian Qiuyue, ok?”

Kun was laughing at himself now, picking back up the pen and moving to read the next question.

a/n: i know mr qian kun did NOT just say aria was fruity. 

aria nct lgbt sub-unit confirmed

Renjun was sat beside Aria on a single piano stool, shoulders pressed together as she leaned forwards to try and make sense of the notes written on the pages in front of her. 

“You know the basics, right?” Renjun questioned, hand coming out to flip forward in the music book a few pages. The single crotchet notes quickly turned into more complex rhythms, and from the side of his vision he could see Aria paling slightly.

He turned his head to look at her, “Riri, c’mon I know you know more than Mary had a Little Lamb, you can’t stay at beginner level forever.”

“Yes I can.” Aria sulked. 

Renjun sighed. “You were the one who asked me to teach you.” 

“Yes! When I thought it would be easier than this, my fingers just don’t do what they’re meant to do!”

“That’s why I’m here!” Renjun cut off her tirade. “I’m not going to laugh at you if you make mistakes - you’re learning, and everyone makes mistakes when they’re learning.”

“Promise?”

He ruffled her hair slightly, “Promise. Now here, look, this one isn’t difficult you’ll manage this one fine.”

“Injunnie.”

“Mm?”

“-nevermind, okay just. How do I?”

Renjun lifted his hands onto the keys of the piano, showing her the placement of her fingers and getting her to copy him. Aria did so, and then he was running her slowly, step-by-step through the first few bars of the piece, catching her when she played dud notes and clapping softly when she played through without stuttering. 

Soon enough, Aria was playing a simplistic but solid melody line with her right hand, basic accompanying chords with her left, and Renjun was staring at the side of her face; head tilted slightly to the left and a small, barely-there proud glint in his eye. 

 [BUBBLE UPDATE 210205 ]

ARIA~~

czennie

i heard about the tiny horse

do u think they’d let me get one

if i asked nicely??

“Jae, Jae! Jaehyun!” Aria coughed out the older boy’s name, throwing a glare over her shoulder. “If you insist on leaning your entire bodyweight on me, please don’t throttle me in the process.”

The man only sent a weak apologetic grin her way before his feet slid out from underneath him and he was left grappling at the small girl yet again. 

“You know when you said you wanted me to teach you ice-skating I didn’t know this was how you were planning on murdering me. If I have to die, I’d rather go out with a bang - ya’know? Not death by groupmate, that’s borinG-” Aria’s voice wobbled as she was pulled yet again. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Jaehyun apologized, going so far as to take his hands off her shoulders. “I think I’ve got it now.”

He made it another few steps forward before he was tossed off balance by an eight year old boy rushing past, startling him to the point of jumping backwards.

When Jaehyun’s legs went from underneath him, he flailed his arms in a futile attempt to regain his balance - one of the windmilling arms catching Aria’s extended hands in the process. 

Aria let out a shriek as her skates went as well, tumbling backwards. Her head would have made a harsh impact onto the ice - no arms ready to catch her fall - if it wasn’t for Jaehyun’s hand catching the back of her neck and taking the brunt of the impact. 

Lying on the ground, Jaehyun coughed out a laugh, Aria staring him down. 

All too soon though, Aria joined him in the laughter, head still pillowed on Jaehyun’s arm and the pair of them still lying on their backs on the ice.

“Hello everyone, today I’m with my favourite baby, say hi baby!”

Ten’s grin was audible in his words as he spoke to Aria, who waved before opening her mouth. “Your favourite baby?” 

Ten cooed, “Yes, my favourite baby,” while crossing the floor of the practice room to throw his arms around Aria. 

He rocked her side to side, pressing kisses to the top of her head. 

“And what makes me your favourite? You know Yangie won’t be pleased if he hears he’s been replaced,” Aria lifted her head to look up at Ten. 

“You accept the title of my baby, and are therefore my favourite. You don’t fight my love.” Ten shakes her dramatically side to side, mourning the one-sided relationship. 

Aria only patted his head in solace. “It’s ok. If it’s any consolation the only reason I don’t fight your hugs is because you’re faster than I am.”

Ten let out a pained gasp. “Betrayed by both my babies. How ever will I survive!”

Aria tried to pry his arms away from her shoulders that were shaking with barely-suppressed laughter, worming her way out from his embrace. Ten only tightened his hold, going limp and dragging her onto the floor.

“No...” Ten cried, “I’m dying...”

Aria’s laughter turned to shrieks when he began to tickle her stomach on the skin that was showing from where her t-shirt had lifted up from the movement. 

“No no no no stop Ten, TEN stop I’m sorry I take it back I take it baaack-” 

“Say it!” Ten demanded, unrelenting. 

“I’m your baby! I’m your baby I’m sorry I’m sorry!” Aria was rolling away from his hands, trying to escape but Ten only turned to lie flat on top of her. 

“Exactly.”

a/n: nct world 2.0 gave us so much content of the boys loving aria im :’( smth in the water made aria super cuddly this time around i think she’s after all of their hearts 

- aria collecting nct members like pokemon cards

Immediately after Jungwoo’s defeat, Aria sidestepped to behind Lucas where she fisted her hands in his shirt. 

“Aria! You’re next!” The presenter called out, and soon all the members in OFN has turned to face her. 

She poked her head around to see Yuta standing at the arm wrestling table already, tongue between teeth and grinning at her partially hidden form. 

Aria squeaked and ducked back behind Lucas. “Noo,” she moaned, already knowing what was going to happen.

To their credit, Johnny and Jungwoo tried their best to bolster her spirits before she emerged, but Aria still shuffled up to the table with her head tucked down, paying no attention to the calls of support from the boys behind her. 

Yuta rolled his sweater sleeve up again, and Aria looked up to meet his eyes.

“Onii-chan~” she tried, biting her lip to stop the laughter from bursting out. 

Yuta brought a hand up to his mouth before turning away, eyes wide. Aria could hear the cheers of cute! from her teammates behind her; Yuta’s teammates doing their level best to convince him not to cave under Aria’s widened eyes. 

“Onii-chan, you know I’m not very strong,” Aria made sure to heighten her voice’s register a bit, and stuck out her bottom lip, “Can you go easy on me?” 

Aria could hear Mark calling out to Yuta to not fall for it.

“Yah!” Aria dropped her voice back to her normal register, yelling out to Mark. “Stop it this is all I have!” 

The laughter was heard from across the field from the members in the tents, and Aria was left to sadly shuffle her way closer to the table and interlink her hand with Yuta’s. 

He sent her a consoling smile, the referee blew the whistle and then Aria was pushing with all her might against Yuta. Her legs came up like Renjun’s did, face scrunched up with the effort before the back of her hand met the plastic-covered table and Yuta was announced the victor. 

He quickly made his way around the table, wrapping Aria in a hug and picking her up to spin her around. Aria only giggled at him, sticking her tongue out at Ten who called Yuta out for fraternizing with the enemy.

Aria knew that a springboard worked off of your downward momentum, so it seemed perfectly logical to assume that if she barreled her bodyweight into the jump, then she would make it high enough to get over the 200cm vault. 

She’d made it over the previous heights with varying degrees of success, but the new towering height was throwing her off a bit. Cheers came from both her teammates sitting down beside the mat as well as the other members sitting in the shade. 

“Aria! Challenge accepted!” she called out, pumping her fist into the air. 

From the corner of her eye, Aria could see Johnny leaning forward with his hands on his knees, watching carefully as she ran up to the springboard. Lucas was in a similar position, was it not for the wide grin he sported.

Beginning her run she tried to use up as much speed as possible, sprinting to the vault before jumping with her feet together onto the springboard and allowing it to propel her up and over the vault.

However what she had failed to account for; was the length of her arms. 

Aria made it over the 190cm vault, but her fingertips barely scraped the top and it left her with a choice of either trying to become Superman and face-planting into the mat on the other side, or bringing her legs together prematurely and hope she didn’t lose a leg. 

She couldn’t hear the gasps that left everyone’s mouth once her hands missed the top of the vault, missing the way Lucas moved closer to the mat with a jerk forward. 

Bringing her legs closed, Aria swung her bodyweight forward and grappled behind her for the vault in a panic. A yelp left her mouth as her hand caught on the rung and she tucked it back into her body when her feet met the edge of the mat.

Unstable, Aria toppled backwards with her hands stretching out behind her again to prevent herself from falling. Her back landed against the vault, and she knocked it over, falling on top of the now-split pieces. 

Despite it all, Aria was laughing hysterically, hands coming up to cover her face as she tried to hide her flaming red cheeks. An arm extended to her and she hoisted herself out of the middle of the vault, soon coming to rub at her back.

“Does that count?” Aria could hear the presenters asking should she be disqualified for knocking over the vault even after landing, but she was more concentrated on the hand on her back that was guiding her to her other teammates, all clapping wilding and cheering. 

“You okay?” Lucas’ voice came in her ear, laughter but also concern audible in his tone. His hand was still rubbing slowly along her back, soothing the reddened skin underneath the t-shirt she was wearing. 

“Yeah I’m fine,” Aria let her head fall forwards as she laughed at the thought of the picture she must have looked, flailing as she barely made it over the vault. “I don’t know if I’ll make it over the next one though.”

“Ah it’s okay. I’ll knock it over too and then I can join you.”

The gate at the back end of the tunnel swung closed with a clang, everyone inside letting out a shout. 

Aria, having been standing in front of Johnny, tucked inside his coat while he back hugged her (she wasn’t built for the cold weather, and the denim jacket she wore was doing nothing to save her from hypothermia) let out a yelp and turned her face into Johnny’s chest.

Johnny pushed her behind him slightly as he turned around to look what had happened, and Aria clung to his waist while the others around them furrowed their eyebrows in confusion. 

Trapped?

a/n: and a bonus clip bc shes was so CUTE during mtopia i couldnt not 

In the emptied dining room, the SuperM members scattered around the different table set ups, searching for the coloured pieces of paper. Taeyong had wandered over to the food counter, while Ten had migrated towards the opposite end of the hall.

Baekhyun could see the other members in various locations; all apart from one. 

“Oh? Aria, where did you go?” 

The youngest member was no where to be found, and Baekhyun’s question gathered the attention of Taemin and Mark who were standing nearby. Mark tilted his head in a question, eyebrows lifted and then furrowed when he too looked around for the girl and couldn’t find her.

“I’m here!”

Baekhyun let out a small scream, jumping back from the table he was standing beside.

Beneath the tablecloth poked out Aria’s head, a sheepish smile on her face when she realized she’d scared her leader. 

“I thought there might be some clues underneath, so I wanted to check.” she explained, slowly shuffling out from underneath the table. 

“Baekhyun hyung did she scare you?” Jongin teased, as Taemin cooed over the adorable picture Aria made as she straightened up and brushed off the dust from her skirt. 

Baekhyun floundered, spluttering “What? No! I don’t get scared.” 

He puffed out his chest theatrically.

“Sorry oppa, I didn’t mean to scare you~” Aria said through suppressed laughter, coming over to hug him around the waist.

Baekhyun deflated slighty, “Ah, it’s okay,” he grumbled, petting her hair. 

thank you for watching ! - haechanieski

#*aria.writings #did i cringe writing the aegyo? yes #i do not know if this is good pls tell me honestly #nct 22nd member #nct dream 8th member #nct additional member #nct 24th member #nc #nct 127 #nct dream #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct reactions #superm #wayv #nct female member au #nct female member #nct female oc #kpop!oc #kpop additions #kpop #kpop addition #nct additions #nct addition #nct extra member

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.2

Also yes this is a 5 part story arc, why do you ask, no I’m not “avoiding real life work”

Main Chat

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING DRAGGED OUT OF BED AT AN UNGODLY HOUR FOR THE SAKE OF SOME JEWELRY AND FORCED INTO AN ADVENTURE

Wu Xie: And we are just so grateful you are above all that.

Zhang Qiling: You were fully awake and insisted we pack and go as soon as possible in case there was, and I quote, “more weird shit happening we can cash in on.”

Wu Xie: I mean it’s kind of interesting that the Zhang family sent a car for us. We could have driven. So what is going on there, I wonder?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW FOR A PARANOID AND CONNIVING LITTLE SHIT YOU STILL RADIATE OBLIVIOUS BAMBI ENERGY

HATE TO BE THE ADMIRAL ACKBAR HERE BUT ITS DEF A TRAP MY BOY

WHY DO U THINK WE ARE MESSAGING AND NOT TALKING DUMMY

WERE YOU IN A TOMB ON THE DAY THEY TAUGHT PPL STRANGER DANGER

BUT NO NO YOU WERE ALL “LETS GET IN THE VAN WITH THE FREE CANDY AND PUPPIES I BET WE’RE GOING TO THE CIRCUS”

THIS IS THE LAST STRAW IM LOJACKING YOU FOR REAL THIS TIME, SHOULDVE DONE THIS YEARS AGO

Zhang Qiling: I agree, in this particular case, with Pangzi. You should not have gotten in their vehicle while we were still inside the house. It forced us to follow you into the van to prevent separation, and they seemed to be expecting that. I don’t know whether Zhang Rishan intended this, but I don’t trust him.

Wu Xie: :( I got excited and didn’t think it through. I’m sorry.

Wang Pangzi: DONT YOU GIVE US THE BIG EYES WE ARE IMMUNE

MOSTLY

SPEAKING OF IMMUNE ITS REALLY FUCKIN COLD IN HERE AND UR STILL SICK, PUT YOUR JACKET ON STUPID

Wu Xie: oh relax, I’m fine. No fever at all today, remember? I feel a lot better, too.

Wang Pangzi: YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE BUT TO HAVE XIAO GE INTERVENE

Zhang Qiling: It is odd to say this, but Pangzi is right again. You are barely back on your feet and could easily get worse again. Wu Xie. Jacket. Now.

Wu Xie: Oh fine. Teaming up on me, I see. Happy now?

Wang Pangzi: FUCKING ECSTATIC. NOW BACK TO HOW WE MAY BE PULLING A LI CU

Wu Xie: If it is an abduction, it wouldn’t be them moving against the whole Wu family—not with Uncle Erbai in charge. Zhang Rishan strikes me as someone who doesn’t make a move unless he is sure of his plan, and this is all a bit last-minute to be a big shift. Besides, they let Xiao Ge keep his sword and we still have all our phones.

Wang Pangzi: TOOK AWAY MY EXPLOSIVES THO THE BASTARDS

Zhang Qiling: In fairness, you were waving them around and yelling that if they tried anything it was going to be “yippeekiyay motherfucker all up in this bitch.”

Wang Pangzi: IT SOUNDS LESS COOL COMING FROM YOU. I THINK I SEE THE TEAHOUSE?

Wu Xie: me too. That’s Zhang Rishan on the steps. This must be urgent. Everybody stay shiny.

Zhang Qiling: I will be getting out first. Wu Xie in the middle, Pangzi at the rear.

Wang Pangzi: AND WHAT A VIEW;)

An hour later…

Main Chat

Wu Xie: Is everyone okay? I tried knocking but nothing is getting through, these are some solid walls.

Wu Xie: guys???

Wang Pangzi: OOPS PHONE WAS ON SILENT AND I WAS BUSY YELLING AT THE CEILING

IM PRESENT AND PISSED OFF

Zhang Qiling: Apologies, I was trying to break down the door.

Wang Pangzi: SO THIS MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT WHILE WE’RE HERE

Wu Xie: fuck Pangzi, I know, okay??

I’m an idiot, I’m so fucking stupid. It’s not like it’s the first or fiftieth time I’ve put you two in danger, either.

Wang Pangzi: HEY HEY WHOA NOW

STOP SAYING RUDE SHIT ABOUT MY FRIEND

ITS GONNA BE OKAY

DESPITE KNOWING THIS WAS A BAD IDEA I STILL COULDNT PREDICT HOW MUCH CHAOTIC LUCK THIS FAMILY HAS

DAMN IT I HATE WHEN HEI XIAZI IS RIGHT ABOUT THINGS

Zhang Qiling: I’m sorry. This is my fault. My line has a ruthlessly pragmatic streak and they’ve clearly wanted to test us separately to see why the necklace reacted to our arrival like that. It does not excuse Zhang Rishan trapping us in these separate rooms.

Wang Pangzi: UHH BITCH I SAID THIS FAMILY NOT YOUR FAMILY

THIS AINT ABOUT THEM

YOUR FAMILY IS ON MY SHIT LIST EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

THIS FAMILY MEANT US OBVS

UGH ANY SIGN OF THE BASTARDS?

Zhang Qiling: no. Wu Xie?

Zhang Qiling: Wu Xie, answer me.

Wang Pangzi: WU XIE

TIANZHEN

PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE DAMNIT YOU'RE SCARING XIAOGE

Zhang Qiling: I’m going to try breaking down the door again.

Wu Xie: Hello, Wang Pangzi and Zhang Qiling. My apologies for the rather inhospitable circumstances, but this seemed expedient considering the unknown qualities of the necklace. I could not be sure who was causing what, or what could happen next, and thus have temporarily set you in separate rooms for the sake of everyone’s safety.

Wang Pangzi: WTF GIVE HIM BACK HIS FUCKIN PHONE ZHANG RISHAN I KNOW ITS YOU YOU PRETENTIOUS ANTIQUE

WE DESTROYED THIS PLACE BEFORE AND WE CAN DO IT AGAIN

Zhang Qiling: Your concerns for everyone’s safety are noted. Thank you for whatever you believe you’ve done right here.

Now. If you release us immediately and return Wu Xie to us, we will consider leaving without direct personal retribution.

Wang Pangzi: WHAT HE SAID AND ALSO YOU SUCK

Wu Xie: I regret that this has happened, I hope to make it up to you in the future. For the purpose of today’s needs, however—I will have my men escort the two of you out if you so desire, but unfortunately Wu Xie will need to stay until we have finished examining him.

Wang Pangzi: EXAMINING??? YOU FUCKING PERV HANDS OFF HE MAY BE THE BELLE OF THE BALL BUT HIS DANCE CARD IS SPOKEN FOR

I SWEAR I DID NOT GO THROUGH TEN YEARS OF THIS STARCROSSED CLUSTERFUCK FOR YOU TO SWOOP IN AND STEAL MY FRIENDS BF

Wu Xie: There is no call for rudeness. He will not be harmed. The artifact was responding to him directly. It has not lit up like this in over 200 years, and I need to understand why it is responding, and responding to someone who is not our kin, which it has never done before. This could have implications for everyone in my family if it could protect someone at the right moment.

Wang Pangzi: OKAY BUT CONSIDERING OUR TRACK RECORD IN THIS BUILDING AND THE SITUATION AT HAND Y’ALL ARE ABOUT TO NEED PROTECTION

Wu Xie: The testing would be going better if Wu Xie wasn’t worrying himself unnecessarily over where you both are, it’s making our readings difficult.

Wang Pangzi: OH GEE SO SORRY YOUR KIDNAPPING VICTIMS ARENT THRILLED TO BE HERE TO SAMPLE YOUR CREEPY JEWELRY BOX BUT THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

Zhang Qiling: Zhang Rishan. I appreciate that you must think of our family first in your decisions. As must I. I hope you can appreciate what that means for decisions I make.

Wang Pangzi: HEHEHE SO TRUE BESTIE

YOU PISSED OFF THE WRONG GOTH TODAY BUDDY BOY

Zhang Qiling: A compromise: we stay with him as you run your tests. That will calm him and assuage Pangzi’s concerns and prevent me from…testing the limits of your lifespan.

Wu Xie: I accept that this may temporarily impact our relations, but am hopeful that you will come to understand that sometimes I need to make certain choices for this family that are…difficult. I will come to let you—One moment. Something seems to be happening.

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: OH SO WE ARE GONNA JUST POLITELY SIT WITH WU XIE AS STRANGERS POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES ARE WE HUH WELL LOOK WHOS BEING A HELPFUL LITTLE LAB ASSISTANT

Zhang Qiling: I’m attempting to convince him to let us out. Of course we will not simply sit there. Some lying to gain trust is necessary here.

Wang Pangzi: UR BEIN A SHADY BITCH XIAOGE AND ITS HOT

THATS WHY YOUR TATTOO IS SO BIG ITS FULL OF SECRETS

ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU TO—WAIT WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??

At the same time…

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Xie Yuchen: …so, this is not what I expected to find.

Hei Yangjing: yeah kiddo is a bit freaked out:/ this sucks. I mean I get that they are concerned blah blah blah necklace goes brightbright but maybe we should go find the other two

or at least find a way to let Wu Xie know we are here, that room he’s in looks like a dungeon and not in a good way

Xie Yuchen: Does it look like I’m able to do anything right now? Also, I’m fairly certain they won’t be harmed. Zhang Rishan may be callous, but he isn’t stupid.

Hei Yangjing: r u kidding

he split up Romeo and Juliet, then left Romeo with a sword—seems pretty stupid to me

Xie Yuchen: Yeah I’m not going near that. He made his bed with that choice. What can you see? These Neanderthal guards are blocking my view.

Hei Yangjing: uh so there’s like a lab table situation

Wu Xie isn’t tied up, a good sign in this context

I can’t see what those people are holding, they’re talking a lot and some asshole just grabbed Wu Xie’s arm, looks like maybe they are putting in an IV?

The necklace is—oh. Oh shit.

#whomst #ultimate note #wu xie #dmbj #the lost tomb #pingxie #iron triangle #dmemebj

[mosylufanfic]

Baby I’m Not Moving On

Trufax - it took me about a week to write the first 90% of this, and a couple of years to write the last ten percent.

Anyway have some angst and emotional constipation. Title from “Gone Gone Gone” by Phillip Phillips because I fricking love that song.

Baby I'm Not Moving On

The base was sleepy and quiet - not completely, of course, because it was still an Alliance base in the middle of a war. But it was well after midnight local time, Cassian knew, and he'd been up for twenty-some hours himself. Exhaustion dragged at him as he walked through the halls, his go-bag over his shoulder. His feet hesitated before he took the turn into the hallway that ran through the civilian quarters.

Most of them were empty. People who used them were generally only on base for a short period of time before either leaving or enlisting. Jyn was probably the longest-term resident.

"Your quarters are the other direction," Kay said peevishly, chunking along after him.

"It's a shortcut," Cassian said.

"It is approximately fifty meters longer to cut through here."

"It's quieter. Faster."

"There is a ninety-four percent chance that Jyn Erso is asleep at this hour, and a ninety-eight percent chance that she will curse at you if you wake her."

"I know that." He wasn't going to stop and knock on her door, just so he could see her face after a week of being off-planet. She probably would curse him out, and she'd be within her rights, because it was ridiculously late.

He wasn't going to stop.

(But if her light was on -)

He wasn't going to knock.

(Sometimes she had insomnia. Or bad dreams. Or both.)

He wasn't - 

As he neared the end of the hallway, his head automatically turned toward the last door, her door. It sat open. He went still.

"It appears that Jyn Erso is no longer in residence," Kay observed.

He took the last few steps toward it and stopped on the threshold, staring in. 

The bed sat bare, stripped of bedding. The shelves were empty, the desk folded up into the wall. It looked like every other vacant room in the civilians' wing. As if she had never been there at all.

He didn't know how long he stood, the toes of his boots on the line between the darkness in the empty room and the washed-out lights of the corridor. 

Kay said, "Cassian, you should continue on to your quarters. You have duties tomorrow. You are operating at a considerable sleep deficit."

"RIght," Cassian said. "Right."

He turned and continued on his way to his quarters, where he dropped his bag on the floor, kicked off his boots, and dropped face-down on his bunk to sleep for ten hours solid without moving.

*

When he woke up, his body registered its protests at such treatment. He ignored it and lay with his face mashed into his pillow, thinking, Jyn is gone.

He had been waiting for it since she'd opened her eyes in the hospital wing after Scarif. Why would she stay? She'd had a purpose here, for a time - get the plans - and now she didn't. Her father's evil creation had been destroyed. 

He'd read her dossier over and over again. It was spotty and incomplete, not because of poor intelligence work, but because she had moved around so much that holes peppered it like grapeshot. Since the age of sixteen, she'd slid in and out of groups and teams and alliances, usually staying for one or two jobs before she was gone again. It was her pattern; it was how she worked.

Cassian was very good at seeing patterns and predicting behavior from them, and this wasn't even that complex of a pattern.

Jyn Erso was somebody who needed a purpose, and after all it had done to her, Cassian felt sure that the Rebel Alliance wasn't going to fit the bill. She wasn't part of their fight. She'd been snared like a fish, kidnapped out of prison, hauled all over hell's half-quadrant, made to confront every screaming ghost of her past all at once. Why would she stay?

But she had. 

She hadn't gone with Baze and Chirrut when they'd left. She'd evacuated Yavin with the Rebellion, come to this temporary base with them. He kept asking himself why, and the only answer he could come up with was one he was afraid to believe in, because it didn't fit her pattern. So he prepared himself for the inevitable.

Every day had been the day he was sure he would see her packing up a bag (probably with things she'd lifted, or talked out of the quartermaster) or see her name on a transport list, or just see the empty space where she wasn't. 

Somehow, she was still here. But every day that passed made him more sure that the next day, she would be gone.

He had been gone for a week himself - a short recon to get his feet wet after his injuries from Scarif. While he had done the job, Jyn had sat in the back of his mind like a stone. She would be gone when he got back, he'd told himself in quiet moments. She was certain to be gone when he got back. 

And she was.

The stone had migrated into his chest, hard and cold, beating out, gone gone gone.

He peeled himself out of bed, shed his clothes like too-tight snakeskin. He stood in the shower - a water shower, a small luxury due to this planet and his rank - resting his head against the plastic wall. Water beat against his back as he taught himself how to breathe around the stone, learning how it shifted and rolled when he moved.

At least it was done, he told himself. At least he didn't have to dread it anymore. At least now he knew how bad it would be. That was the worst part of any injury, that first shock of pain before you knew how bad it was going to be. After you knew that, you could focus on getting through it.

He thought of how he would glance across the room from now on and not catch her eye, and the stone lurched and choked him. He shut his eyes and breathed some more.

Out of the shower, drying off, putting on clothes, unpacking his go-bag. He focused tightly on what he was doing, not allowing himself to think. 

He checked his datapad for messages, sifting through base chatter and announcements. Kay had reported to the droid center for maintenance and repairs. He had a meeting with Draven in two hours. That seemed right. He'd sent a brief, encrypted report once he was out of Imperial space, and this was just to fill in. It hadn't been high-priority, his recon, and nothing he'd seen would change that. 

He wasn't actually hungry, but given that he hadn't eaten anything more substantial than half a ration bar in at least a day, he decided he should go to the canteen. They'd be serving lunch now, anyway. He should start getting used to seeing the empty space next to Bodhi.

The canteen was crowded and noisy, and he slid silently through the packed bodies, the close-set tables, letting the din wash over him like waves on the beach. 

"Cassian!" Bodhi called out, bringing his head around. He was getting used to that, now - Bodhi just yelling for him, saying his name right out loud like that. 

And there, in the space next to Bodhi, the space that was supposed to be empty, Jyn lifted her head and looked at him.

Every nerve in his body lit up with alarm. Adrenaline dumped into his system, fight or flight pricking at his toes. Like he'd been caught out, like his cover was an inch from blowing, like -

Like the wound that he thought he'd understood was about to be torn open, even deeper.

He turned around and walked out.

*

He came back to himself three halls away from the canteen. She was here. Jyn was still here. All that preparation he'd done, everything, it was for nothing, because she was still here.

The stone had cracked open and it was all hot lava on the inside, searing his lungs, making it hard to breathe.

Why wasn't she gone?

He walked back, careful and slow, breathing the adrenaline out of his system. His fingers were still shaking when he walked back into the canteen, but he could blame that on low blood sugar.

Bodhi was still at the table. Jyn was gone.

For a moment, he thought maybe he'd hallucinated her being there in the first place. That she really was gone, like he'd known she would be, like he'd been forcing himself to accept - 

Then Bodhi said, "Jyn took off. Said she wasn't hungry anymore."

Cassian looked at the half-empty plate next to Bodhi. Jyn ate like a starving lothcat. He'd never seen her leave food behind.

He said, "Oh."

"What was that?" Bodhi wanted to know.

"I forgot something," he muttered. "In my room."

Bodhi looked at him for a moment or two, then shook his head. "I don't know why I thought a spy would be a better liar."

Cassian didn't bother glaring. He went to the food line, collected a plate, returned to the table, and ate, forcing the food down his throat, answering or deflecting Bodhi as needed. 

"She probably went to hit things, in case you want to apologize," Bodhi said with tremendous pointedness.

"Since when are you the expert on - " Love, he was about to say, and bit it back. "On us?"

On consideration, us wasn't much better than love.

"I've had to watch you pushing her away ever since Scarif," Bodhi growled. "And then just when I think she's going to say the hell with you, you'll look at her like she's the air you breathe."

"You're a poet," Cassian said dryly, feeling heat crawl up his neck.

The air you breathe?

He hadn't thought he was that obvious.

Pushing her away?

He wasn't doing that. She was the one who -

Wasn't she?

"Why is she here?"

"If you honestly don't know, I'm not the one to ask."

Cassian picked up his plate.

"Where are you going?"

"Away," he said flatly, heading for the recycler.

"To talk to Jyn?" Bodhi yelled after him, and Cassian flinched. He was really going to have to do something about that yelling habit of his.

*

He tried three different rooms in the practice wing before he found the one she'd commandeered. He knew she heard the almost noiseless swish of the door, but she just kept at her practice, fists thudding rhythmically into the heavy practice bag, in time with the grunts that leaked out through her clenched teeth.

She'd changed out of her usual clothes into shorts and a loose sleeveless top. The hair that usually fell loose and shaggy around her face was held back by an elastic band. A fine sheen of sweat delineated her hairline and the cords of her throat. A few stray strands stuck to her skin.

She was eating better, more regularly. Her face was a little rounder these days. The lines of her body were softer, the muscles in her arms and legs thickening. She no longer looked quite so much as if she was made solely of wires, yanked taut to the snapping point.  

She still had that feral look to her eyes, though. He wondered if it would ever fade, and thought not.

His hand, on the jamb of the door, clenched into a fist. Something like yearning opened up in his stomach, gaping wide, hungry, desperate.

He breathed through it until the fist loosened, until the pit in his stomach quieted. Then he moved out of the doorway. He paused a moment to remove his boots and socks before he stepped onto the mat, his feet sinking into the padding, squeaking slightly on the plastic.

He moved around her, to the other side of the bag. She paused, finally, and glared at him. "Something you want to say, Captain?"

Her hands were wrapped, but not particularly well, and the gaps exposed reddened skin across her knuckles. He wanted to re-wrap them for her. Given the look in her eye, though, and the way she'd been assaulting that still-swaying bag, she'd probably use the wraps to strangle him.

He caught the bag, stilled it, and opened his mouth. What came out was, "Why aren't you gone yet?"

Her eyes blazed up for a moment. "You want me gone?" 

No swelled up in his throat. He swallowed it. 

She slammed her fist into the bag, and the shock rattled up his arms into his shoulders. It shook words loose.

"It doesn't matter what I want." You. Here. Being able to depend on seeing you every day. Being able to make plans, have hopes, think for once about something besides right now - "Your pattern is clear."

Another hit that almost knocked him back a step, even with the heavy bag taking the brunt of it. "My pattern," she said. "Tell me about my pattern, go on."

"You've been here two months. It's past time."

She dropped back, rolling her shoulders, and threw an elbow at the bag that would have broken an opponent's nose.

"Two months is all you've known me. What kind of pattern can you work out from that?"

"I've memorized your dossier," he flung back. "It was much longer than two months. You're never part of any group, not really. You come in, you do a job, and you leave. The only question is when."

"When I'll leave," she said. "Well. That depends. What do they do to deserters?"

His hands slid off the sides of the bag and he said dumbly, "Deserters?"

That was a mistake. She gave it a mighty kick with the full force of her left leg. It swung back and  knocked him full-length and gasping on the floor.

She glared down at him. "I enlisted, you gundark!"

Cassian had gotten up from harder hits than that, but he stayed on the mat, blinking, trying to get his breath back. She shifted her weight, her eyebrows softening. "Cassian?"

She padded closer. "Cassian," she said. "It wasn't that - oof!"

He'd lunged up, hooked a hand around her knee, and yanked her off-balance. True to her nature, she turned the fall into an attack, her shoulder driving hard into his abdomen. He let out another grunt, but rolled and flung her to one side. She twisted and landed on her knees, let the momentum keep rolling her around until she crouched on her feet, teeth bared.

He was up on one knee, bracing his hand against the mat.

They considered each other for a moment.

"You enlisted," he said. "In the Rebel Alliance?"

"No," she growled, "in the All-Coruscant Marching Band - yes, in the Rebel Alliance!" 

She launched herself at him, and he blocked instinctively, flipping her over his back to the mat. She'd barely made contact before her knee knifed up, missing a fairly sensitive area by spy's luck. They grappled briefly, tangled around each other, their faces an inch apart, breath hot on each other's faces, before she broke his hold and heaved with both legs.

He went skidding across the mat and rolled to his feet in time to duck her swing. 

She was a brawler by nature, relying on speed and ferocity to take down her opponents. But her hits were more focused now, and she was more balanced than she had been. 

She'd been training with someone who was teaching her hand-to-hand, smoothing out her sloppy raw power into something more targeted and refined.

She’d been training, he thought, and wanted to laugh.

She feinted right, and of course he fell for it. After a breathless tumble to the mat, he found himself pinned, her hands manacling his wrists, her knees caging his hips. It was an absurdly easy hold to break. He could have demonstrated four or five ways in his sleep. 

He stayed where he was, laid out in front of her.

A few strands of hair had escaped her headband and hung in her face, fluttering with their breath. Their hearts thundered against each other.

"I enlisted," she said, her face a few inches away from his. "You're stuck with me."

He swallowed. The motion moved through his chest freely, no stone to block its way. "Good," he said. 

"Good," she said. "After all that? That's what you have to say about it?"

An instant of increased pressure against his wrists, and then she'd pushed herself up, let him go. She sat back on her heels, still straddling his legs, but sitting on his thighs rather than hovering over his waist. He propped himself up on his elbows, watching her intently.

She met his eyes, a challenge in hers. 

"Bodhi says I've been pushing you away," he said. "Have I?"

Her eyes slid to the side. "Bodhi says a lot of things."

"What does he say to you?"

She swallowed. He watched it move down her sweat-shining throat. "That I needed to either enlist or leave."

"Is that why you hung around? You were trying to decide?"

"You said it yourself. I'm not a joiner. I don't go in for uniforms and ranks. But I - " She looked away a moment. "I wanted to stay."

"Don't stay for me," he said. "If that's why."

Her head came back around. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Why not?"

He swallowed. "Because - I - "

Her cheeks, already flushed, went a duller red. She pushed herself to her feet. "You're not making sense, Captain. First you say Good and now don't stay and would you make up your mind?"

He got up, too. "Jyn, I didn't mean - I - " He'd lifted his hand to her arm without knowing it.

"You grab me and I'll break your hand off," she warned.

He dropped his hand and let the words fall out of his mouth in an ungraceful heap. "If you're only staying for me, when I mess it up, you'll go."

Her mouth fell open. She shut her eyes a moment, then shut her mouth and nodded. "That's - yes. I get that."

Did she? His cheeks burned.

She opened her eyes again. "But you said welcome home."

"I did, but - "

"You said you were with me 'til the end."

"Yes, I - "

"Why would I leave after that? Why would you think so?"

"Jyn," he said softly. "You never said it back."

Her mouth fell a little open. "I didn't know you needed to hear it."

He let out a huff of breath - a laugh, maybe. "Neither did I."

She tipped her head back and looked up at the ceiling, as if she couldn't say this and look at him at the same time. "I enlisted because since I met you, I remembered what it was like to be part of something. Not a military. A group. A cause." 

He always used silence in his work, letting people fill it themselves instead of prying it out of them. Instinctively, he stayed quiet. 

“And if I have to put up with a uniform and a rank to be part of something, well, I'll get used to it, I guess."

"You don't have to worry too much about that," he said. "The Pathfinders don't care too much about ranks or uniforms either."

Her mouth fell open. "How the hell did you know that?"

He gestured at her. "The way you fought. Dameron's been training you, hasn't he?"

"Yeah, all right," she said. "Caught me."

"Before or after you enlisted?"

"Before. He told me about the Pathfinders. I thought, well, hell, I can do that."

"Yes, you can."

"I can do that and stay," she said. "That's what I thought. It's a place for me."

He could have said, There's always been a place for you here, but he didn't. Because she didn't need a place that was held for her, given by the goodwill and grace of others. Goodwill and grace were tenuous, unpredictable things. She needed a place that she made for herself.

She wasn’t staying for him, and he felt his entire body relax. Even if he messed this up, she would stay, not run, and he might have a chance to fix it.

"Stay is a relative term," he said instead. "The Pathfinders are out in the stars almost as much as Intelligence."

She shrugged one shoulder and wiped her forehead free of trickling sweat with her forearm. "A place to come back to, then," she said. "That's not a thing I've had much. Ever, really."

Her pattern, he thought. Of course she hadn't stayed anywhere. She'd never had a reason.

She wiped her face again. “You’ve been waiting for me to run? That’s why you - ”

Why he’d held himself away from her. Careful space between them. Trying to save himself.

“Yes,” he told her.

There was no saving him and never had been.

"But I had the pattern wrong." He'd been looking at it wrong because he'd been afraid to look at it right. Because it was easier to brace for losing her than it was to think she might be a part of his life. "And I was afraid. That I - “ He put out his hand again, and this time she allowed him to touch her, his hand curved around her upper arm. “That I could belong with someone.”

She didn't ask why he'd been afraid of something good. She knew. 

“You belong to the Rebellion," she said. 

And so did she, now. 

“It’s a very big thing to belong to. It’s easy to lose yourself in it.” Her skin was warm under his, flushed with the exercise. 

She pulled away and for a moment he was cut loose, spinning in space. But then she took his hands in her wrapped ones, both of them, anchoring him firmly once again.

"I didn't know you were back," she said. "Not until you walked in the canteen, saw me, and took off like you'd run into one of Kay's nastier brothers."

"I got back last night," he said. "Late. I - " He swallowed. "I took a shortcut through the civilian quarters.”

She raised a brow. "That's not a shortcut. That's longer."

"You were gone," he said. "Your room - you were gone."

Understanding moved over her face like a sunrise. Her hands tightened around his. "I'm not gone," she said.

He let himself soak in that. 

She looked shy for a moment, and then covered it up with bravado, pushing her face up close to his until their noses brushed. “Are you going to kiss me, Cassian Andor, or am I going to have to do everything myself?”

It made him laugh, and the laugh was still on his lips when he pressed them to hers.

FINIS

#Cassian Andor #Jyn Erso #rebelcaptain #fanfiction #mosylufanfic lives up to her damn name #I LIVE #and I still ship these two idiots #star wars