#this is how frank kins probably feel ......

[weenhands]

claudia is the only comfort characters who i closely resemble apperance wise so now this opens opportunity for me to go ham on My new possible fixation and to style my hair exaclty the way how she would. Literally halt my makeup obsession even bc the way she looks naturally is 70% close to how i look without any makeup too.... .... ....

#this is how frank kins probably feel ...... #i almost cried at the idea of losing my makeup obsession bc ill probably wear little to none if i stop getting my hair straight too #then boom clauds on the outside #but. She makes me want to be a better person. the stronger person i am on the inside so like. yeah thats a whole nother thing #this is what happens when u give a black emo girl some representation thru a universe of black vampires

[bellaxgiornata]

Honestly I cannot believe that I've been on tumblr for just over a year now and somehow there's already so many of you wonderful people here that are reading, enjoying, and supporting my silly little fics. When I jumped over here from AO3, I had not anticipated how much fun I was going to have getting to chat with all of y'all while also sharing my stories with those of you who aren't on AO3. I've definitely made some wonderful friends this past year because of tumblr and I just want to say thank you to everyone for the support. I always mean it when I say y'all are the reason I keep writing these stories 💖

I could certainly get sappier but instead I'll just invite y'all to join me for my first ever celebration! There's a few fun things below the cut that y'all can pop up with in my ask box starting today May 3 through Wednesday May 8! I tried to think of some interesting things that I could realistically make time to do with everything currently going on in my life, especially because I'm also still trying to stockpile rough drafts for many of my stories so that I can still have updates during my upcoming "writing hiatus" (that I'll explain more about later). My plan is to answer things as they come in and hopefully have them all finished shortly after the celebration ends. And once the celebration finally ends, I'm hoping to give y'all an update to a story or a one shot!

Hopefully this will be fun for everyone!

Let's Chat! - Feel free to send me an ask about anything at all! No, seriously. You want to tell me about your day? An upcoming vacation or exciting accomplishment of yours? Do it! Or maybe you want to ask me questions about one of my stories or my writing process? Hell, feel free to ask me about myself, chat about coffee, music, books, pets, whatever!

Discuss Headcanons with Me! - Have any headcanons about Matt Murdock, Frank Castle, or Michael Kinsella that you want to chat about or share with me? Send them in! Or are you interested in a headcanon I might have about one of them in a certain situation? Feel free to ask! We can chat about the boys!

Send Me Fake FFTD Installment Titles! - Create a title name for an installment for my Falling for the Devil series (ex. "The [insert title]") and I'll write a couple of sentences about what I could picture that installment being about! You win bonus points if you can actually stump me on coming up with a plot for your title. But also who knows, maybe some title suggestions could spark an idea for future updates...

Let's Play a Game! - We can play would you rather, have you ever, or fuck/marry/kiss (or kill). For the record, f/m/k can be with anyone from Daredevil, Punisher, Defenders, Kin, or even any of Charlie's characters that I'm familiar with (Matt, Michael, Owen, Henry, Tristan, or Adam) or those of Jon's that I'm familiar with (mainly Frank, Shane, or Julian). If you can think of another game feel free to play it with me!

Ask the Boys! - Do you enjoy my weird internal dialogues with fictional characters that probably make me sound crazy? Great! Feel free to send me an ask to either one or all of the fictional men that live in my head (Matt, Frank, and/or Mikey) and I'll relay whatever they respond with in something of a short internal dialogue!

Request a Sneak Peak! - Since I have been stockpiling quite a few WIPs and rough drafts for a couple of months now, I am open to y'all just requesting a sneak peak. If you do, I will share a snippet from a fic I choose at random from something that's either a fully finished rough draft or still a work in progress!

**You're more than welcome to participate multiple times, but all I ask is that you (1) send things in separate asks, (2) are not rude to me or anyone else, and (3) are 18+ to discuss anything spicy (this is an 18+ blog anyway so I'd hope everyone here already is).**

#bellas 2.5k follower celebration #ive never done one of these before! #let's have some fun! #follower celebration #matt murdock #frank castle #michael kinsella

[variousxreader]

I DUNNO IF THIS WAS THE RIGHT INBOX OR NOT AAAAA

CAPTAIN KOBY HEADCANONS MY BELOVED

(Haven’t watched that far into One Piece, I’m at like episode 500 so sorry if these are ooc at all)

General

- Doesn’t like coffee, no matter how much sugar or creamer he puts in it’s always not quite right or to his liking, he’s the same way with some teas.

- Keeps a pocket sketchbook or some sort of small notebook hand, sketches or writes about things he sees or thinks about.

- Favorite animal would be otters, I feel like he would see them frequently while sailing and overall likes them for their smarts, such as using rocks to open shells. Though, he absolutely adores how they hold hands or hold their kin while they sleep or float to not get lost.

- Morning person, definitely. Almost always the first one up and awake, walking around and already doing things while everyone else is still in bed.

- While he has grown up and became stronger, he’s still an easy crier. He gets emotional over things and while he can shove down the need to cry, he finds some place private to let his emotions go. He doesn’t like it when people see him cry publically, he feels like that wouldn’t make him “strong” to anyone anymore, especially with everything he has to go through.

- Struggles with anxiety, and I mean this man is brimming with it. His habit of overthinking can lead him to peril, while he has been scolded for “not doing anything and risking lives” due to it, some of his decisions after that could seem reckless, as he wouldn’t even give a second thought to the first thing that comes to mind.

- Definitely sleeps hugging a pillow, cannot sleep without hugging or holding something.

- Personal headcanon (I don’t know if we ever learn about his family or not) I think that while yes he truly did mistake the Alvida pirate’s boat for a fishing boat, he really was trying to sail away for good that day. People in his life would always tell him that he cries too easily or was too skittish about literally everything, overall bringing him down for years of his life. Yes, it was ok when he was younger, but while this behavior continued, people yelled at him more about how he needed to “not be such a crybaby” and not be so afraid of everything. Even now, he has issues dealing with people yelling or raising their voice at him.

- Another personal headcanon, this fella is so trans masc coded to me. When he found Luffy he was scared at first of course, some random ass stranger popped out of a barrel. But what really sold him is that Luffy didn’t question him at all about how he sounded or looked different, but to be quite frank, Luffy doesn’t seem like the type of person to bring that up anyway. Yes, Luffy saved him and he’s happy about that, but he also saw how he was? How he actually wanted to be? AND inspired his dreams?? The boost of confidence he got from that still fuels him to this day as a captain, that’s why he still looks back to that day, the first day someone saw him for who he actually was and didn’t question him. Still questions to this day if he’s valid or even passing for that matter, but that memory always helps him with dysphoria.

S/O

- Loves spooning, he doesn’t care if he's big or little spoon, he’s perfectly content either being held or him holding you. Though, he does have the habit of being mostly big spoon since he wants to protect you and keep you safe.

- His love language would definitely be quality time, especially with how long he has to be gone for sometimes. When he comes back after whatever duties he had, all he wants to do is spend some time with you doing whatever. Could be something as little as just sitting and holding each other in silence, or something more like going shopping or on a date. Though, his favorite thing to do would probably be being able to snuggle up with the person he cares the most about and rest without having to worry.

- Love hugging his s/o from behind and resting his head on their back or shoulder, depending on his height.

- This man is all green flags, will absolutely pamper his s/o if they’re feeling under the weather and sooth them if they’re not feeling 100%.

Sorry for any spelling mistakes btw :3€

AAAAA GOD TIER HEADCANONS!!!! I love them all!!!!!!

Don't you worry, im crawling through Impel Down, dreading 482 and what comes after 🙃 Ace girl things™️

But AAAAA no SADS JUST KOBY

This man has abused golden retriever energy, like rescued and bounced back and is the healthiest boy now.

He is a literal cinnamon roll!!!!!

God he'd cry over every animal he sees because its so cute. Like "S/O! Look!!!!! At them!!! Can we adopt them?!" Its so hard to say no

I loveeeeeeee the idea of him falling for a Pirate. Man is so upset about it too at first, like he is so in denial about it. Till a silly fanfic esq situation gets them alone and he can't deny the attraction, physical and emotional anymore?! Chefs kiss the drama!

I also love the idea for Trans masc Koby, that Garp is just like Luffy in his acceptance, like hes so confused as to why people would be upset that Koby identifies as a man. "You say you're a man so you're a man. " simple as that.

Also, forehead kisses on his scar!!!!!

Steal his bandana to tie up your own hair, the mans heart nearly stops and he clutches his chest.

Also i love the idea of his S/O trolling Alvida in subtle ways. As petty revenge on Koby's behalf. Like just any chance they get, they fuck with her. Steals her hat or something just goofy shit that you know would drive the unhinged woman mad.

Koby would 10/10 write little love poems in that notepad/ sketch book for his s/o or crush. Not that he'd be brave enough to share. He could be convinced. Lol

Hes a precious little Peony

#one piece x reader #koby one piece #koby x reader #coby x reader #coby one piece

[aroaceleovaldez]

do you have any other pjo alter human hcs? 👀

Yes!

Leo being dragonkin and Jason being a wolf therian are my two main ones. Like i mentioned in that other post, I imagine Leo's is more spiritual-origin and Jason's is specifically more psychological-origin from being raised by Lupa's pack. I already went over some of the dragonkin!Leo ones in the previous post so I'll focus more on the wolf therian Jason ones here- (under a cut for length)

Because all the Romans are trained by the wolves, plus a small friendly monster population in New Rome that includes dog-headed people, Jason just. does not think twice at all about identifying so strongly as a wolf. He just presumes that's a normal thing. Everybody else just thinks he's being Very Roman so they don't question it either. It probably isn't until he goes to CHB that he realizes not everybody feels like that.

That doesn't stop him and Leo from having a conversation about feeling like a wolf/dragon respectively and continuing to presume that it's totally not an identity thing they're gonna be thinking about A Lot later on and either Everybody Just Feels Like That or they're both just got the same oddly specific unique thing going on (it's not like it'd be the only thing - they're also both Hera's champions. maybe it's just a champions of Hera thing). It's fine, they'll figure it out eventually. Piper is extremely confused about what they're going on about though.

Jason is excited a very normal amount about the concept of werewolves. He's totally not mad that he wasn't able to defeat Lycaon in battle and gain shapeshifting powers. Definitely not. He's also definitely not jealous of Frank for having shapeshifting powers, or jealous that Nico and Reyna got to fight the lycanthropes more.

Leo is also immensely jealous of Frank's shapeshifting and is heavily considering trying to bargain with the gods to swap his fire powers for that.

Jason has an encyclopedic knowledge of like every werewolf myth from different mythologies and folktales and he WILL excitedly infodump about them.

The Greco-roman werewolf myths may have not turned out for him, but the minute Jason finds out that Norse myths are on the table he's begging Annabeth if they can go visit her cousin. For science. Just to see if the Norse werewolf myths are any better. By the gods he will figure out if safely and ethically becoming a wolf is possible somehow. (He has definitely also asked Reyna to use Circe magic to turn him into a wolf before. Up to interpretation how that went down.)

Jason using claw weapons!!!!! He definitely has fought with his teeth before but he gets his hands on some nice hefty and sturdy claws and he is THRIVING with them. If he could get some sort of teeth armor/weapon to use too, he would. Unfortunately that one's a bit harder to get so his real teeth will have to do for now, when an option. (He definitely bit Krios and is 100% up for using his teeth in a fight you cannot convince me otherwise)

Speaking of biting - Jason is a biter, just in general. He affectionately chews on/nips at his friends as both an oral stim AuDHD thing and a 'kin thing. Also playfighting/sparring with them. He'd probably get into quadrobics and parkour as well if given the opportunity.

Leo's not so much into that sort of very active stuff (or very platonically affectionate stuff). He's mostly hanging out with his hoard of machinery in his den Bunker 9. They're still shiny things, they're still his hoard. He's a bit more territorial of Bunker 9 than he'd like to admit since it's his space (also combo dragonkin brain/autism stuff) but trying to explain why is way too much of a headache for him, and most people stay out of there anyways so it doesn't come up much which is fine by him.

In terms of more dragonkin-affirming activities though, despite his aversion to fire, Leo's fallen asleep in a fireplace/bed of coals/etc a couple of times in his life and he will never admit how comfortable and affirming that was for him. He does also generally feel a bit better about his fire powers if it's just the fire-resistance part, or if he's breathing fire specifically (because also it's just cool, and how can he not feel like a badass super big and strong dragon when he's literally breathing fire?) (that time in BoO he totally let loose his fire and turned into functionally a supernova of flames was also weirdly affirming for him and he doesn't know what to do with that information). He's also probably tried making arm stilts before, just to see what they're like, and if he could improve the design at all to feel and look more natural.

...Atypical pronoun sets? Atypical pronoun sets. It'd probably be awhile before they actually start using them, but I think both Leo and Jason might vibe at least a lil with he/its for otherkin/therian reasons. Leo also probably dre/drem/dris. I also think Jason would particularly vibe with wolfgender. He didn't know that was an option and once he does he really likes it. (Also have you seen the masc wolfgender flag? Look at that and tell me that's not Jason.)

Camp Jupiter probably has more alterhuman folks than CHB, just in terms of population sizes and also just given how they're trained/raised it probably comes up more over there. This does somehow simultaneously make Jason more convinced that it's just an average thing but also less aware that being otherkin/a therian is even a thing.

My friend and I have talked a lot about the absolute weirdness potential that might occur with being an alterhuman demigod. Can you imagine being some creature from mythology and then finding out not only do they actually exist in that exact moment in your world, but also they will try to hunt you down? Something something intense alterhuman linguistic debates about if you're a mythological monster does that qualify more as therian or otherkin (based on the proposed delineation of therian = real world creatures / otherkin = mythological/legendary/etc)? (second philosophical/linguistic debate happening in the background of feral/animalistic = therian / less feral/animalistic = otherkin delineation but if that monster was originally a mortal then which do they qualify as?) (third conference happening behind that one of demigods journaling their experiences as monsters who were originally mortals and how that impacts them as demigods.) The awkwardness that must exist from being like hydrakin or something and then having to fight a hydra. Or being a different kind of hydra than exists in the riordanverse (or, weirder, being hydrakin but Monster Donut hydra specifically and having to explain your odd inexplicable connection to donuts before you figure out that's a thing).

Again: Leo making 'kin gear for demigodsssss. Maybe he's the one who makes the claw weapons for Jason, who knows.

For other major characters: Annabeth would definitely be totally fascinated by daemonism and probably experiment with it at least a bit. Nico I could see vibing with voidpunk. Hazel I could also see vibing with just general label alterhuman relating to her whole being-revivied-from-the-dead situation. Maybe same for Thalia for the same reasons, or Thalia even vibing with being like dryad-hearted/kith due to the whole pine tree thing.

I got another ask about this so there will be more headcanons along these lines soon as well.

#pjo #riordanverse #leo valdez #jason grace #headcanons #headcanon #ask #Anonymous #alterhuman demigods #< screw it im making a tag for this. hooooopefully that won't interfere with community discussion tags

[starzzify]

hi! i’m star/starzz. (online name, my real name doesn’t go online)

i decided to make a small introduction, as well as organize my blog more. so, this is the post for that!

as for the introduction. my fandoms are hazbin hotel, bsd, and death note but im into a whole bunch of other stuff too. (bolded ones are the fandoms im more active in)

i absolutely love music, i’m listening to music right now. i’m always listening to music every second i can. and some artists i like are sir chloe, conan gray, matt maltese, the smiths, mcr, msi, MITSKI, green day, frank sinatra, melanie martinez, tv girl, and the neighborhood. my music taste could be put under the spotify category of “alt” or “indie” ig? any post i make about music, song lyrics, analysis, anything, will be posted under the #starzz music shop tag.

i also post random thoughts and things, those will be under the #starzz thoughts tag.

another tag that you might see, sometimes.. rarely, is the #starzz is reading!? tag. this will be book quotes or thoughts!

i have a few tags where i post my writing, these are #starzz poetry and #starzz writing, if I post poetry it'll be under both and when I post my #Flu Season story it'll be under the Flu Season tag and the starzz writing tag.

#starzz life posting is where i post about things im going to do, or doing. basically just events.

#starzz obsession or #starzz obsessions posts are where i go on and on about how much i love something or i analyze media (most likely the death note musical OR bsd stuff) basically just things im obsessed with atm.

#texts i never sent or #texts i’ll never send ; where i write things that i think about sending, but never will. (for good reason or not, we might never know)

(new 👇)

#the man speaks or #WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY WALLS , me talking to myself (most of the time at night)

about me:

if you couldn’t tell i love purple

i really like listening to music (specified abovee)

im looking for more moots/mutuals

things i like: music (duh), art (drawing, writing, poetry, etc.), fashion, makeup, jewelry, my friends, journaling, movies and shows, video games, cooking/baking, talking to people, nature, pretty things, when people ask me about things i like (online most of the time, when people ask me about things i like irl i short circuit and don’t know what to say), my phone, tumblr, sending random asks to people i like, buying stuff online, money, listening to essays/rants on random topics on youtube, spicy food, bracelets (i have so many on omg), also making bracelets, clothes shopping, the mall, making presentations

things i dislike: school, annoying people/pick mes, when i make a typo i can’t correct, headaches, anxiety, the beach, the fact i can’t get a job, toxic people, when people say im boring, people who say everything is “cringe” (i promise im not a hater for having so many types of people i dont like its just they’re things i dont like), beige moms, people who fat/skinny shame, getting up in the morning, when people talk over me/ tell me im talking too quiet

(i might add more to my likes/dislikes idk)

feel free to talk to me about anything you like, i love hearing (or in this case reading) people talk (or write) about the things they like

also if you talk to me about something and i really like it there’s a chance i’ll start liking it too

i love to post random things and thoughts so that’s what you’ll probably get on this blog

sometimes i’ll post about my pets, i have 2 cats. one named taffy and the other loki

kin list (probably my reddest flag) : Dazai (bsd), Chuuya (bsd), Sigma (bsd), Akutagawa (bsd), Jax (tadc)

(more “this user is..” headers)

#intro post <3 #pinned i #idk what to call this #it’s an intro ig tho #yeah

[outofangband]

@nelyoslegalteam from our conversation! Unsurprisingly I got a bit distracted thinking about medical related world building which I’ll probably have to make a second post to explore in more detail 

I cannot understate how profoundly effecting the sense of unprecedentedness and lack of understanding around Míriel’s death impacts the situation

Valinor is a place without death. It is not that the elves do not know death or loss. The elves of Valinor come from a world where the dark rider and his servants steal away their kin in the night. They were hunted by monsters and shivered in the darkness. Their sisters, fathers, children and friends were taken away and transformed.

Valinor is supposed to be a safe haven from this past. Finwë brought his people here to be safe. To grow and rule and learn and flourish.

Míriel’s death is not unprecedented as death but for its location, circumstances, and aftermath.

Fëanor grows up with the loss of a parent treated as, at best, an academic or philosophical debate about mortality and survival and at worst, a source of cruel rumors with some blaming Míriel or him for her refusal to return.

Even when they mean no cruelty, their frank curiosity is damaging. They ask and they want to know…why would someone choose this? What circumstances or people could make someone choose this?

The medical aspects of this seem poorly understood by the general population of Valinor even if there are those more learned, in Lórien and similar. Míriel’s death and more importantly her choice is treated as a mystery, an anomaly, a marring.

And maybe it is in their eyes! We don’t have records of pregnancy related healthcare and psychological research in Valinor. Perhaps this was truly the first known instance of postpartum depression, exhaustion and similar phenomena.

Perhaps Míriel truly was the first person to choose Mandos instead of returning to life

We do get a sense however that these subjects, especially as they relate to death, might not be completely unspoken (certainly people are speaking about them) but they are taboo. They are the realm of speculation and stigma.

Given the fact that so much of the suffering of the elves is noted to include grief which can be fatal, and the fact that the mind-body-soul connection is so repeatedly stressed, I don’t think the issue is a complete lack of understanding or acknowledgment of mental health.

I think there is absolutely a base understanding of emotional wellbeing and lack thereof. This does not mean that the understanding or mental health in Valinor is not incomplete or flawed.

I imagine that most healthcare would involve at least some aspect of psychological care for the elves given the profound link between their mind, body and soul. Even if it’s just an added emphasis on soothing distress or an increased understanding of how psychological hurt can exacerbate physical injury and the other way around.

And I imagine that absolutely includes care during pregnancy! What little information we do have (and to be fair some of it is from LaCE which is not strictly canon) seems to support both.

But when that isn’t enough? When those feelings of emptiness or exhaustion or despair endure long after the birth?

This I think is where at least some of the issues lie.

I also think about Lórien as a place of healing where it is both a genuine sanctuary and place of rest but also by nature allows many of the issues of health and wellness to be isolated and distant. People go there to heal or recover and then they return, healed and recovered*

Community health models are not successfully being utilized in Tirion (I do actually headcanon that they are utilized by the Teleri but that’s a different post)

*Lórien is not the only place where people go for healing but it is the primary one. I headcanon there are other smaller locations similar to it and then there are just healers who can address trivial and minor accidents and injuries

Fëanor does not properly grieve. How could he grieve? There is not sufficient societal understanding of how to mourn in such a situation.

As I said, there has been loss so there have been practices of mourning but when the expectation is that Míriel will recover or return, these practices, largely created to cope with sudden disappearances with no closure or violent deaths that took place before Valinor, do not bring Fëanor much comfort.

As he grows older, his thoughts about what he wants for Míriel and what he thinks he should want, become more complicated. His understanding of some of the discussions regarding her death and his birth do as well.

Morgoth corrupts all that he touches repeats again and again to him

(Medical stuff is one of my favorite areas to write about and I want to make more world building about healing and medicine!)

#the silmarillion #Míriel #finwë #Fëanor #musing and meta #I am having a day so I hope this is ok

[junkieboyfriend]

Excerpt from new WIP - PDA | Sickrent

Mark likes to go to the park after dark. Mark likes to meet his mates there; he likes to smoke and do drugs there. Tonight he was with Sickboy, Spud, and Franco, they were passing a bottle of vodka one way and a blunt the other. Simon offered Mark coke but he wasn’t feeling up to snorting anything, so the blond just shared a line with Franco on a bench. 

Suddenly Spud was spewing chunks in the grass, he must’ve got the smoking and drinking in the wrong order. Franco was next to him and viciously recoiled away, shouting at Spud for splashing him. 

“Ah dun feel sae good, Franco.” Spud groans,

Franco rolls his eyes, “Ah ken fuckin’ well tell that.”

“Kin ye take us home?” Spud begged in a whiny tone.

Begbie huffed, “Why dae I have tae?”

Spud scrunched his eyebrows, “Ye were my ride?” he tilts his head,

Franco paused and sighed as the realization hit him like shit in the face.

“Fine, but ye owe us.”

Ah, thank yis Frank. Ye’re the best.” Begbie helped his stumbling friend to his feet. 

“Got tae get him home before he passes oot. Have a good one, Lads.”

Simon snorted the last line and fixed his nose, waving to Frank.

“Sees ya, Frank!” He shouted after them as they had already started walking away

“Good luck!” Renton yelled.

Simon laughs and turns back to Mark, “E’s a heroin addict but he cannae do a bit a cross-fadin’?”

Mark shook his head, “Dun be sae hard on ‘em, he probably fucked up the order ‘a ‘em.”

Simon shrugged and grabbed the vodka, “Moar fer me!”

The blond took a swig and gave a sigh, 

“Cannae believe ye’re tae chicken shite tae dae a line wih us.” he smirked,

“Yis dae heroin, but yis willnae dae sum powder? There’s no even a needle.” Simon taunted

Mark squinted at Simon, trying to look annoyed, but realizing that the blond might have a point. He uncrossed his arms. 

“I’m no tae chicken shite.” Mark stated bluntly, 

Simon quirked a brow and grinned, “Sae what? Ye’ll dae it?”

Mark nervously masked a smile, “Yeah, s just some powder…” 

He was saying it to Simon, but it really felt like he was trying to reassure himself.

Simon starts lining up the coke on the bench, and he hands Renton a rolled up 20. Mark accepted the 20 hesitantly, his hands were shaking but he was trying very hard to not make it noticeable. His heart was racing – was he really going to do this? Why did this even matter to him? He does heroin and this is arguably more mundane… But he’d never done it and earlier he even rejected it… But when he thought about it, thought about how Simon talked about it, it didn’t seem so bad. Just a powder that goes up the nose; doesn’t even require a needle…

He stared at the line for a moment but realized he didn’t want Simon to see him so hesitant and so afraid. So he quickly bent over the bench and put the 20 under his nostril, almost flush against the skin. He glanced nervously at Simon and their eyes met. That’s enough hesitation, anymore and Renton risked looking like a pussy. So he goes down, puts a finger on his free nostril to close it, and starts inhaling. He slowly moves the straw upward as he inhales, leaving no powder behind. 

It hits him immediately- the rush - and his pupils dilate. His heart was beating out of his chest and it reminded him of a song he’d heard in a club. He felt amazing – he felt like he could do anything. 

“Holy shite!” Mark exclaims

Simon grins, “I ken, right?”

“Ah feel… Ah feel…” Mark couldn’t describe it. 

Simon leaned in, “Alive?”

Mark nods vigorously, “Yes! I’m sae fuckin’ alive!”

Simon laughs a bit at Mark’s instant uptick in mood and energy. 

“Thank yis fer introducin’ us Si! Ah’m sae happy, Ah could kiss ye!”

The blond raises his eyebrows, “Eh, what’s stoppin’ yis?”

Mark blushed a bit but the pumping in his veins and the adrenaline refused to let him turn away.

Renton locks eyes with Simon and, after a moment of silence, Mark leans in and kisses Simon. His heart was beating even faster than before and Mark wasn’t sure that was possible. More remarkably, though, Simon wasn’t pulling away and was reciprocating. Mark needs to be closer and, under the spell of adrenaline, crawls onto Simon’s lap. 

“Yis sure we should dae this here?” Mark whispers against Simon’s mouth.

“Ah would shag yew on any surface Ah could have yew, Rents.” 

Mark moans lowly as Simon kisses his neck,

“An’ Ah dun care if the world sees, Mark. Ah’ll take yew whenever ye’ll have us.”

#trainspotting #mark/simon #mark renton #simon david williamson #simon #sickboy #rentboy #sickrent #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #fanfic #fanficiton

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

can we get a list of all the characters you kin, frank? can be from anything! we wont judge. just curious

My response to this is kind of like someone looking at all of my social media posts from a time when I had a serious drug problem except that if they did I would be incredibly surprised because I'm not still into drugs.

So, here goes, without any of the usual editing:

I don't know how to tag people, but here goes

The cast of Homestuck:

I feel like I have "taken on" a lot of aspects of Vriska Serket and Tavros Arquiusprite, who are the two I am most like

I do kind of feel like Dave Strider on some level, particularly in that I kind of think of myself in a way that is a lot like the way Dave talks and acts in Act 5. I know I'm sort of a Dave fan on some level.

I also kind of feel like Aranea Serket -- not so much because I have a lot of similar characteristics to her, but because Aranea is my favorite character, and if you can say that about characters in fiction that you have a lot of character-based resonance with... okay, that's kind of self-serving, but also it's probably true

I also kind of feel like Karkat Vantas, again both because of his character traits and because I resonate more with him than with other trolls. However, I don't really want to be Dave, Vriska, or Karkat -- I'd like to be "more me," as the kids say -- and when I do try to read these characters on their own terms it often ends up feeling like I'm trying to read a foreign language

(I think a lot of this is about how their characters are written, particularly the parts that are kind of mean/jerkish/cruel, but that was not necessarily the case back when I read Homestuck).

I also kind of feel like Tavros, who is the one "real" character here. If I had to come up with a reason, it would probably be something like that I identify more with him, given the way I think of myself (more "human, but still sort of fundamentally just a guy" than most of the other characters here, and the kind of things I tend to have a lot of trouble with in myself, like impulsiveness or impatience, are problems he has). "More him" in some ways means "more like a real person than the others" -- I identify with some of the ways he experiences the world even though I'm not like him.

A few other minor characters, particularly Jade Harley. There are probably others I'm not even aware of, which is interesting.

My non-human side characters, from "Frank" or "Anya":

In terms of the kind of characters I am most like:

I have no idea if I feel like any of them really, except for (somewhat obscure) "Anya," but if that's all that's here that's probably because these are the only characters I really know well enough to identify with that way

Other people in the comic who may be kin with me:

This feels like a really bad way to think about these things, and one reason it seems self-serving to claim that I resonate so much with these characters is that that was something I was trying to do back when I was going through a bad patch and reading Homestuck seemed like a good way to do it

#ffaikos #long post

[winter-asleepening]

Spring Awakening Fandom Tag

By (@winter-alseepening)

1. how were you introduced to the show?

Through theater fans on instagram and tumblr :)

2. Seen a production live?

No 😭 waiting for the day

3. Dream role/character you relate to most

So disclaimer that I’m not a performer but I do relate to Moritz a lot and love his songs so it would be really … affirming ? To play Moritz 😌

4. Favorite male character

MORITZ I genuinely love him sm..

5. Favorite female character

ILLSE NEUMANN SUPREMACY

Ashamed to say that my time in the fandom previously I ignored a lot of the female characters 🤧 so sorry ladies I do love you,,

6. Deaf West Revival or Original Broadway Cast?

OKAY

So deaf west spring awakening is in my eyes a perfect revival and so artfully done so I reigns as “best version” imo.

BUT OBC has such a “kids rocking out in their garage band” energy to it ?? Where the show is so fresh and new and scary. And the energy is so grounded in nostalgia and I think it’s really special 🤧

7. Favorite song

TOUCH ME I will always die ,, the acoustician guitar stripped down start to the song is just so 💔💔💔

8. Least favorite song

I Believe ?? it’s more of a scene than a song tbh. And I think it’s really powerful as a scene . BUT like from a cast recording, album standpoint it’s a skip imo

(There once was a pirate bonus track in the cast album. Have never not skipped it)

9. Favorite quote/line

“She said love may make you blind, kid- well I wouldn’t mind at all”

10. Favorite TV performance

Forever and always the deaf west revival performance of Touch me on Seth Meyers 💙

11. Favorite cast member(s)

Jonathan groff and John Gallagher jr. are my favs from OBC

Deaf west I feel like I love everyone,, genuinely so happy that this production introduced me to so many amazing actors that I wouldn’t have otherwise known because they’re deaf,, Joshua Castille and Sandra Mae Frank are favs of mine 😌

Also I’m in love with Andy Mientus so him… obviously

12. Favorite cast member moment

Daniel Durant and Alex Boniello playing Animal Crossing together in one of the Vlogs of Purple Summer, very cute

Also the entire OBC reunion in the HBO documentary 🤧 genuinely so sweet to see everyone reconnect and reminisce 💔I cried

13. Do you write fan fiction?

I haven’t before but I’d probably come up with character AUs or head cannons or something

14. Do you make fan art?

YES !! I plan on doing a lot more but I drew a lot of Moritzs and Melchiors back in 2018 or so 😅

15. Do you cosplay?

I really want to cosplay from spring awakening,, illse’s OBC costume is so pretty💔 and I have a mighty need to cosplay Moritz for gender-y and kin reasons 😅

16. Don’t do Sadness or Blue Wind?

I always sing along with Moritz’s part but both are so beautiful, best characters my sweet children

17. Word of your body or the Reprise?

I would watch DWSA word of your body reprise RELIGIOUSLY (for totally straight person reasons) the revival does a great job taking a scene that was mostly played for laughs and make the characters seem much more grounded and whole. 💕

18. Touch Me or My Junk?

yes….. touch me is a great song but my junk is one of my favorite scenes in the show it’s so silly and crazy and I love it smm

Also the snowstorm Jonas video with the DWSA cast singing My Junk is like- my fav

19. Explain the song of purple summer

Okay, the song of purple summer is the kids singing about how they will carry with them their struggles and sing of this idealized perfect world that will someday be real because love will outlive hate and prejudice. There is one day going to be a world where no one will be ashamed to love and be loved and everything will be beautiful, even if it isn’t now.

20. Explain the song of purple summer (wrong answers only)

Illse converts everyone in the cast and the audience to her Cottage-core hippie religion….

#spring awakening fan tag #spring awakening fandom tag #I did my own tag shhh #spring awakening #dwsa #melchior gabor #spring awakening bway #moritz stiefel #wendla bergmann #deaf west spring awakening

[many-but-one]

automorph: a self-identifier term, that of which one has a fluid identity (gender, name, personality, and/or 'image'/persona, etc.) (with dissociation n trauma)… vs being a did/osdd system? how does one know the difference can I ask your opinion?

What does DID and being a system feel like? What does “alters ability to take control of the body” mean and feel like? If someone involuntarily sometimes feels like different identities sometimes and at different times (made up of their own names, personality, species, age, aesthetic, likes, appearance, etc) is that what alters are and what fronting is like? plus when u have dissociation and trauma. do u have to be able to communicate w each other and hear voices? is it amnesia if when u look back on the past days/weeks:/etc it feels like it didn’t happen and is hard to remember? and to not know who u are at the moment? honestly how does one know if these are alters or not .. or what an unstable identity is vs alters? or an introject or fictive ot non human alter vs kin type? honestly when is it ok to say you’re a system ,, if you’ve researched for years .. when is it ok to self dx ,

Sorry for the late response to this, anon. Things have been funky in my personal life and I'm going to be honest, the first few times I read this I was really confused by some wording. I'm going to be frank and honest and say I'm not going to answer all of your questions. I'm a random Tumblr user, you are anonymous, I've never spoken to you, and I'm not a professional. If you want to have a conversation with me about these things and dissect some of it, I would be happy to help you do that, but you will have to DM me and come off of anon. I would love to help if I can. /genuine. Just know I will not give you a diagnosis or a definite yes or no. It would basically just be to help you sort through your thoughts, which seem really scattered here.

First:

If you have dissociation and trauma and amnesia and all the above you should probably find a trauma focused therapist. I'm serious.

Unstable identity vs. alters is the question that professionals have been debating since forever and I don't have the answer to that.

This is the main question I'm going to answer here:

"When is it okay to say you're a system? If you've researched for years, when is it okay to self dx?"

You can say you're a system whenever you want. Nobody is going to stop you. Will people question your validity? yeah. That's the daily struggle of being a system. Will you feel denial? yeah all the time, I've been medically recognized and treated for DID for over a year and a half now and I still feel denial all the time. If you're self conscious about the idea of identifying as a system, don't come out publicly yet. Try to first work on your system by yourself or with a therapist if you have access to one. Download simplyplural, try to figure out switching patterns, write down what you know about the alters you have, journal as often as you feel comfortable, offer your journal to other alters, let them express themselves if they want to, work on healthy coping skills, etc. If you think you have OSDDID, and you've done years of research, you probably do. Well informed self dx is valid in my opinion. If you're still worried about it though, just don't be public about it until you're more certain. Once communication gets better and you start seeing more obvious signs of the system, then you can decide if you want to be public about it or not. You never have to be public about it. You can have a system Tumblr and never share info about your alters. You don't have to share anything about your system period, just reblog system memes or things you relate to.

The idea that having DID/OSDD has been equated to having to be open and public about it all the time is really awful, honestly, and so damaging. If you think you have it and you are really sure about it and you've done research, then go for it. Say you have it. If you're wrong later, then you'll figure that out when you get there. This is why I highly discourage new systems from going public online right away, especially if they're not diagnosed or being evaluated by a therapist with DID or trauma knowledge. Because if you dive headfirst into it and then realize you are NOT a system, it's much harder to backpedal and you often will face backlash. (Which I don't support in the slightest, by the way. I think people are allowed to make mistakes and be wrong about their experiences and shouldn't be punished for it unless they did serious damage.)

Work on coping with the info that you have and if it becomes more complicated later, you'll cross that bridge when it happens. In the meantime, stay safe, drink plenty of water, and take care of yourself. I hope this message didn't come off as too harsh, but you know yourself best and if you think that you're a system then maybe you are. If you have the ability to get professional help, I highly encourage you to do so. This website has DID resources specific to each U.S. state and there are also several other countries outside of the U.S. on it too.

Take care, anon. If you need further help, feel free to message me.

-Jules

(P.S. to any other anons out there: I am not a professional. Asking me "I'm experiencing [exact symptom of DID to the letter], is that DID?" is not going to help you because I don't know you at all and I'm not your therapist. If you have genuine questions about what it feels like to be a system, DM me. I know that's scary to do, but I promise I would not judge you. I'm not going to dx you via DMs but I do have a decent amount of resources and personal knowledge of my own experiences and I would be happy to help you sort your questions out.)

#jules #anon #anon ask #anon answer #did osdd #dissociative disorder #did alters #did #trauma #osdd #dissociative system #otherwise specified dissociative disorder #I'm going to be honest I was blended with some really irritated parts when I started writing this #and I was being an absolute asshole ngl #but then I checked myself and was able to come up with a more useful and helpful answer #however if my tone came off angry or irritated #that's not the case

[bepractical]

Kin Character List

It’s been a while since I first watched Kin and I’m still deeply obsessed so I thought some good old fashioned episode recaps/meta might exorcize it from my system. At least until the next season. This is really for my benefit but if you happen to stumble across these posts, please enjoy my rambling and feel free to share your thoughts. And be warned, I’ll be talking about season one as a whole so EVERYTHING I post will be spoilery. If you haven’t watched and want to be surprised, DO NOT PROCEED. TURN BACK WHILE YOU CAN.

I started this show 100% here for Charlie Cox. His Daredevil/Matt Murdock is the light of my life. While I grew to love the rest of the cast, he’s still my focus a good chunk of the time and Michael is my favorite character, though Amanda is a close second. If you catch a hint of bias going forward, you’re not imagining things. This is a great show for rewatch; it lays a lot of groundwork early on for later plot developments and character arcs, which I’ll point out and occasionally delve into as they occur. The first episode recap alone is a monster.

Before I get to the episodes, here’s a little roll call of the show’s most important characters, as determined by me. Drop a comment if I missed something, got anything wrong, or if you know for certain whether or not Michael and Allison were married.

The Kinsella Family Tree

Bren, Frank, and Birdy are siblings. 

Bren is Jimmy and Michael’s dad. Their mom’s name is/was Julie. They have an estranged sister named Jenny.

Frank is Eric’s dad. No info on Eric’s mom. 

Jimmy and Amanda are married with two kids, Jamie and Anthony. Jamie was probably Michael’s biological son.

Michael has a daughter, Anna. Her mom was Allison. Unclear if Allison and Michael were married.

In episode 2 Birdy talks about being a grieving mother, no info on possible former kids or partners.

For you visual learners, I recommend checking out the show’s family tree. 

Important note: The Kinsellas are neighbors. Jimmy and Michael’s houses are side-by-side, Birdy across the road and Eric next to her. I’m not sure where Frank lives but he moves in with Birdy mid-season.

The Kinsellas

Frank Kinsella- Current head of the Kinsella family, pragmatic, generally nonviolent, spends too much time on Grindr, loves his son but is a bad dad, easily manipulated, terrible under pressure. 

Bridget ‘Birdy’ Goggins- Family first, Frank’s biggest supporter, has ‘history’ with Eamon, super touchy with Michael, overlooked cause misogyny/patriarchy, weaponized warmth.

Bren Kinsella- Head of the family pre-prison, actualfax mob boss, hotheaded bully, values ruthlessness, all signs point to him being abusive.  

Jimmy Kinsella- Loyal to family AND family hierarchy, a hint of toxic masculinity, violent but not a killer, giant ball of emotions when it comes to his wife, kids and brother. 

Michael Kinsella- Family hitman, fresh from prison and traumatized about it/killing Allison/health problems, loving dad, loyal to family but NOT hierarchy, cold-blooded teary-eyed killer, loves Amanda, looks like Charlie Cox. 

Eric ‘Viking’ Kinsella- Hotheaded but good natured, just wants to do cool gangster shit and win Frank’s approval, bad boyfriend to Nikki, loves a good heist, dumbass.

Amanda Kinsella- Grieving mother, smarter than most of the Kinsellas put together, loyal to family but not hierarchy, in love with Michael, done with Frank and Eamon’s shit.

Jamie Kinsella- Momma’s boy, Anthony’s older brother, wants to be in the family business until he doesn’t, murdered by accident.

Anthony Kinsella- Walking bad guy bait, put on a bus, down with retailatory murder, knows how to work a grill.

Anna Areoye- Angry teenager with an overbearing grandma, loves to dance, eats chocolate cake with orange juice, loves her dad despite him killing her mom. 

Kinsella allies 

Nikita Murphy- Eric’s girlfriend, tight pants and big hair, naïve, wants Eric to get some respect, wants Eric to respect her, not thrilled with the reality of dating a criminal.  

Dotser- Loyal to Frank, bodyguard who also vets hook ups, super dead.

Fudge- Loyal to the family, especially Eric, good natured, super dead. 

Kem- Set up Fudge for money, was in bed with Eamon, currently under Amanda’s boot.

Noel- Helped Amanda launder money/cars, supplied car for the hit on Caolan Moore, first retaliatory hit. 

Everyone else

Eamon Cunningham- Drug kingpin of Ireland, actualfax mob boss, full o’hubris, bad dad to 2 out of 3 kids, good ex, should’ve just given the Kinsellas Caolan Moore, killed by Michael.

Con Doyle- Eamon’s right hand, loved his son and making empty threats, killed by Jimmy.

Caolan Moore- Made a play for Kinsella territory, ordered the hit on Eric, tried to pay off the Kinsellas for killing Jamie, killed by Michael. 

If you're interested in long, spoilery recaps with terrible screen shots the first half of the the first episode can be found here.

#kin amc #michael kinsella #jimmy kinsella #amanda kinsella #frank kinsella #birdy goggins #a whole lotta kinsellas ok #eamon cunningham #kin

[thebigbidea]

Media I've obsessed over throughout the years!!

2010-2019: My Little Pony: FIM

Was definitely my favorite show. I still love that show sm. Definitely has the most active fan base of them all. Making art for this show definitely inspired me to be the artist i am now. -- This show rased me, and raised me good. The older fandom is questionable, there's definitely some generational trama given to us Gen Z by them, but it was a very pro-lgbt space, and i loved this so sm.

Favorite character then: Fluttershy / Now: Trixie

2017-2021: DuckTales!! (Woo-hoo)

Always kinned Louie, and always will. I mean hell, i named my first MLP OC after Lena!! -- I really loved the episodes Quack Pack and GlomTales! (the latter if wich being because is was A. it Louie centered episode, and B. he proved to his mother that his scamming isn't all bad which i was proud of him for). I think i loved him sm just bc, well one, my favorite color has always been green, but two he's so relatable. Like the episode where he wasn't so sure and up to the idea of Della suddenly coming back and being his mom when he'd never even spoke to her once was just so good. Now i can look back and see how it was relatable, but even then when i didn't know what ik now i found him to be the most logical person in that situation.

Favorite character then: Louie (maybe i liked Lena a lot too?) Now: Louie

2019-2023: The Owl House

When MLP ended, this was the show that came in and swooped me up. As of writing, the shows only been officially over for about an hour. And while yes, DuckTales was there when MLP ended, it still definitely made me feel like something was missing. It did take about a season for me to realize TOH was filling that feeling but it got there. This show has probably effected me about as much as MLP. Like through the episode “Lost in Language”, apon watching some reviews and theories on the episode, i found out Luz was bisexual. At the time i hadn't really heard the term b4, but only about a day of finding it out, i was already comfortable going by it! It just fit too well!! I also got my preferred name/s from Emira and Edric!! Sigh, i could write sm about TOH since it literally just ended, but i don't want to be here all day.

Favorite character then: Hunter, Now: The Collector. // Kinnie: Edric and Emira all the way, baby.

2023-???: Welcome Home! @:3

And now we're here. I already know this will be the thing i obsess over for the next 3-4 years, i can smell it. If things wrap up before 2026, i know the fandom will still be alive. Like idk maybe I'll laugh at my naivete in like two years rereading this post but come on!! Everything lines up way too well!! When MLP ended, TOH was there. Not TOH is ending and, oh, what's that?? WH!? I don't think its too unrealistic to think this story can take 3 test to make.. look say DHMIS, The Mandela Catalogue, and the Walten Files!!

...And well i mean if not, South Park has been going to 25 years and strong!! So I'll probably love that.

Favorite character: Julie!!!! (And Frank) // Don't make me pick favs from SP bro they're all so great. :')

Bonuses!!!

2021(-2023?): Loki

Bc of this show, i discovered i was gender fluid :]] I also found a wonderful community from it, and i love all of those people i met!!.. except for J***. You know who you are. Lmao, jokes. But yea, I'm no marvel fan or anything, but i love Greek/Norse mythology.. so it's no surprise i love Thor and Loki as much as i do!

Fav: Owen Wilson.

2021-2022: Inside Job (+ the 2000 other animated shows Netflix cancelled after one or two seasons..)

Yes there are shows that ended justly, like Kid Cosmic and CentaurWorld. They only planned on having two seasons so they ended great and with a banger. But like,, Dead End, and Glitch Techs, and give BNA another season, goddamn it!!

Fav: Brett 1000%

2020(-2023?) And 2021-2022: Animatics and The Cuphead Show respectively

I decided to add these two after ranting in the hashtags bc i just had to. :] Not much to say, i rlly love these shows. Made some art in my sketchbook and sh/t.

Fav: Wakko // Muggsie.

There's so many more shows (on tv, steaming, or online!) I'd live to acknowledge but I'm bored as hell do I'm calling it. Buhbies!!

#tv shows #what i watched #welcome home #my little pony #ducktales 2017 #netflix animation #the owl house #tv talk #@:) #rant post #talking into the void #wtf this post took me like two hours to complete??? idek know why #its not like i forgot the shows ive obsessed over #i didn't get side tracked by any hour long yt videos like i usually do either #its inexplainable #maybe all that time when to me debating on including some shows #there were a lot i wanted to include but didn't since i never at any point obsessed on them for more than a month frfr #but at the same time i totally could have included Cuphead and Animatics. i definitely loved those shows months after release #ykw duck it im gonna add them #goodnight everybody

[caralara]

In regards to some parts of this where you said they’re scared of ruining their relationship with Louis parasocially; if it were me— I would continue digging because as if they can take away my rights to look for information for myself. Like what I am saying is, Louis does not know me, he doesn’t know what I do with my life and everything I am doing, it’s not like he’s got something ahold over my head— in reality, he’s a stranger who holds no real weight to all of my decisions; so you know what I am saying? Like he is there — but he’s not really there? He’s a nobody, a stranger, if in legal context or anything aside him being our supported celebrity— he does not hold any real weight and opinions over us, he’s not even our kin or legal family or guardians.

Basically what I am saying is, if I were in that position I wouldn’t fear that it would ruin my “relationship” with him because how would he know? what is it with him if I am going to get digging? What I do with my time is mine and if I chose to dig and “ruin” our “relationship” I would. It’s not like he’d know and go out of his way to look up my activity — a stranger’s activity.

Sorry for the pettiness, I am just sharing what I would have been thinking at that point. The pettiness and all. But I am just being frank. 🤷‍♀️

Hi anon!

I see it the same way haha, he doesn’t know me and he doesn’t monitor my activity.

I think it’s a very irrational fear, but I get it, you know? I mean, the whole concept of parasocial relationships is based on a very emotional drive! It’s one of the reasons why a lot of fans romanticise Larry to a point where it’s just… fantasy.

Being this obsessed with a celebrity and their life the way we are (I am) is rooted in very deep subconscious psychological needs. They’re our safe space, for me, for one, Louis has become one of the only men in this world I trust because I’ve had really really bad experiences with men in real life, I spoke to my therapist about this, too, and I’m convinced that, at least to me, the image we make of Louis in our heads, is fuelled by our needs and desires, he’s a great projection surface for that, and him being him (a really, really great and kind man) he offers enough personality for it to feel real and give us something real.

So as soon as this image of him, and his relationship to us is threatened, people usually don’t act rational, you know? He’s one of our deepest safe spaces, comforts, lights to guide us. We (childishly) don’t want that threatened.

So, I get it, you know? Doesn’t make it right, and I agree, I am probably aware enough of this to be able to process it and act the way I rationally want to instead of shutting down.

But I do find compassion in me for the fans who are not that aware of this, it’s not their fault!

#anon #bbg #Babygate #Louis #fan relationships #parasocial relationships

[thehearteccentric]

I wish I could have Mind be my sibling instead of my real life twin brother. I've been listening to him talking to his friends online, and he has said the following:

-He wants to use AI to code for him

-Thinks black people are the majority in Long Island

-Thinks you die shortly after turning sixty if you're overweight

-Confidently told his friends that turtles live an extremely long time and we got ours in the 1980's (we got them in like 2006)

-Literally as he found out Israel bombed Palestine during a ceasefire and talking about how exasperated he was said that he was still going to be pro-Israel bc they support America

-"Wait who's Frank Sinatra? OHHHHHH he was in family guy!"

Once again reminder, this is my twin sibling. And we're not like, fourteen either.

Wish I could've been at least afforded Mind as my sibling as I am Heart Chonny Jash. I would honestly rather be called a wild animal and pushed down a flight of stairs than this. At least I'd be able to sit down and have a conversation and not lose brain cells. And probably also not have eighty percent of the available food in the house eaten three days after it was bought, and also not have to clean mountains of garbage that he made, or have seventeen boxes of mac and cheese have only the macaroni eaten and then put the cheese packet to the side as if he couldn't eat the many other boxes of pasta.

Something gives me the vibe that Mind wouldn't eat much, would clean the house for (Soul and) me) and wouldn't leave a single box of cookies or party-sized Dorito bag or fifty empty two-litre bottles of Diet Coke behind, and if he didn't just leave the mac and cheese untouched ("[It's childish.]") he'd make it properly and probably clean all the dishes afterwards. And THEN he'd tell me to kill myself.

I feel like beyond the arguments and occasional wrestling-like-raccoons-on-the-living-room-floor, Mind would be a pretty killer roommate. A shame this Heart got stuck with Walmart Mind. And not the funny kind of Walmart, like the kind you'd find in a section it shouldn't be in whatever that someone accidentally knocked over a Sprite onto and now it's sticky and also half ripped open and reeks of BO and molten durian.

(Heart kins DNI, I'm not comfortable interacting with Heart kins I apologise :C)

#bb heart moment #fictionkin #otherkin #alterhuman #otherkin rant #species dysphoria #vent kinda???? #imprisonment was all that i earned

[earthlyyan]

Little Trainee (Platonic(?)Yan! Childe x Reader)

For @bye-bye-sunbird (thanks again for your help) Warnings: Abuse, Graphic descriptions of violence, Implied Torture, Eye Trauma, Unhealthy Sibling relationships, Childe being a sadist, Kidnapping? If you squint? Imprisonment? Betrayal 

Word Count: 3084

________________________________________________________________

He was gone.

Tartaglia held his younger brother’s fur-lined cap in his calloused hands, bringing it close to his chest. He’d taken off without it, wanting to be as far away from the killer that was his big brother so badly, he’d neglected to dress for the cold.

Despite his best efforts, Tartaglia had been unable to find him, and though tempted, he had refused to get the Fatui involved. It would further remind Teucer that his brother’s job was a terrifying one, too dark for the mind of a child to fully grasp. A child’s mind would never truly grasp why he had to kill, only that he had taken the life of another. And how that was an unforgivable sin.

He’d requested a day off work to prevent him from making any rash decisions on duty. He’d spent the day wandering aimlessly, desperately trying to gather his thoughts. He’d found himself in the familiar shambles of Dunyu Ruins. Perhaps he’d take out his frustrations on some ruin guards, or at least he’d considered it, until he saw you.

*

In and out and in and out.

Your sword found its way into the ruin guards eye again and again. It had been dead after the first thirteen stabs, but you didn’t care.

Your thrusts were becoming harder to maintain, your shallow breaths and sore arms halting your rage filled pursuit. Your legs straddled its large, heavy body, thick vines restrained its arms and legs.

It killed him. It killed your brother. The laser sliced his body while simultaneously cauterizing the wound, leaving him in two, unable to bleed. His face still frozen in that of agonizing pain.

It was going to kill you as well until a blinding green light appeared before you; a dendro vision.

You didn’t know how you did it, but now it was dead, and the gift of the archons laid on the ground before you. You hated it.

A gift of the gods, what a fucking joke.

You choked back the urge to vomit at the rancid scent before removing your sword from the gaping glass wound.

You kicked the hunk of metal as hard as you could before losing your balance and falling back onto the ground.

A man stood there; a couple years older than you. You’d fallen right at his feet.

He wordlessly helped you up off the ground before clearing his throat, as if to clear the air with it.

“You know, I’ve never seen someone receive a vision before.” His voice was light and airy. “I had been walking when it’s light blinded me. I regret not showing up sooner.”

You refused to look at the strange man, his words not registering. Your mind was too busy trying to process what had just happened.

“Hey,” His voice was louder, shaking you from your stunned stupor. He held out a handkerchief from his pocket. “You should probably get out of—”

“He’s dead.”

The man’s brow furrowed. “I’m sorry?”

“That thing killed him. He’s dead.” Your words were empty. You contemplated if you should be feeling anything else other than thinly veiled anger and disgust. You should’ve been sadder. The only thing you had felt at the time of you mindlessly stabbing the guard was desperation for your own survival, and fear that it would get up again. You were revolted at the sight of the corpse before you, but you weren’t terribly torn up about the death in itself. And that disgusted you.

Anyone else would’ve been. Anyone would’ve been devastated if they had watched their own kin get cut in two. But no, you were more worried about what you’d tell your mother.

You walked over to the remains of your brother and poked it with your foot, your blatant disrespect for the dead caught the man off guard. Your gut did flips in your stomach at the gruesome sight.

“You don’t seem too upset about it.” He seemed to lack the same feeling of fear at the sight of a corpse. You didn’t quite know how to feel about that. “Though, you don’t seem like you’ve got the guts to orchestrate it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He laughed. “The way you kept stabbing the poor ruin guard made me think it was self-defense, and that the death was an accident. But the fact that you’re not devastated at his death made me wonder that you did it intentionally.”

“And if it was?” “Then I think I’d applaud your ambition.”

*

The man introduced himself as Childe, a member of the Snezhnayan organization called the Fatui. He claimed to be a warrior of sorts, and that he had gone to Dunyu Ruins to take out some frustrations he had one some ruin guards. He then had stumbled across you stabbing a lifeless robot corpse.

He had treated you to lunch in Liyue, saying that leaving you to stew in your thoughts after witnessing something of that caliber was ill-advised.

“What were you doing in Dunyu Ruins?”

“My brother wanted to do something there. He wouldn’t tell me what it was.” You mumbled.

“And the sword?”

“The sword I have with me was the one he was carrying, but when his torso disconnected from his legs, his scabbard landed close to me. So I thought I might as well use it.” You stirred your soup with your spoon, not having much of an appetite.

“So why did he have the sword?”

“Archons know.” You sighed. “If I’m being frank, I think he was going to kill me.”

Childe lowered his tigerfish from his mouth. A light laugh left his lips, startling you. “What makes you think that?”

“I was father’s favorite, though I am the younger of the two of us. So when he found out he had left the inheritance to me instead of his eldest son, he thought it unfair.” You reluctantly brought the spoon to your lips and swallowed. “We had never gotten along; I was like a punching bag than his younger sibling.”

“And I suppose that’s why you’re not crying and mourning the loss?” His voice was mocking.

“Well, would you?”

Childe hummed. “I’m not sure, family is family, but…” his voice lowered into an inaudible mumble, pondering.

He was silent for a moment. He took a few bites of his grilled tigerfish. His eyes wandered to the scabbard at your hip. “You don’t know how to fight.”

“What? Where did this come from?” He hadn’t even finished his thought from before.

“The way you were holding the sword as you used it to kill the ruin guard was way off. Had you kept going, you could’ve gotten hurt. If you had held it properly you could still be stabbing it now. If you didn’t get that vision when you did, it could’ve killed you with how poorly you were handling yourself.”

“That’s the whole point of getting bestowed a vision. Saving you when you’re on the brink of death or something like that.” You shoved your spoon in your mouth again.

“Yes, true.” He sighed and set down the now empty skewer. “But if you hadn’t gotten it you would’ve ended up like—” “Okay jeez I get it!” You grumbled around the metal in your mouth. “What are you getting at?”

“Luckily for you, I’m quite skilled at the sword.” His chest puffed in pride. “And it’s not like you’re going to go home with half a brother in tow, yes?”

“So you want to train me? What good does that do you?” “I’ve always wanted to train someone in a weapon.” He smiled, though there was a tinge of sadness in his voice. Like he was looking forward to it before the invitation presented itself. “And now, I can.”

*

You were on the ground again, some shallow, superficial cuts littered your body, Childe’s blade inches from your throat.

“You left yourself open again. I told you this weeks ago and yet you can’t get it.” A disappointed sigh escaped his lips as he pinged the bridge of his nose. “Hunch, keep your legs apart, again.”

Some part of you wondered if Childe got off on hearing your groans and hisses when he slashed you. Something about the way he bounced on his legs and the way his grin seemed more genuine had you worried.

You slowly got yourself off the ground, your bones and muscles creaking in protest as you readied your brother’s blade again.

“If you’re sore it means its working.” His laugh echoed as he lunged himself at you again, leaving you a moment notice to swerve out of the way. “If you weren’t sore before it means you were doing it wrong.” He dodged an oncoming attack from your sword and swept your legs, leaving you on the floor again. Yup, he was definitely getting off on this.

*

Three months under Childe’s tutelage toned your body significantly. He seemed to be more eager to fight you these days. Saying that you were finally getting fun to fight or something like that.

“Despite your form issues in the beginning, you’re practically a natural.” He beamed as he extended a hand to you. “Fighting you is actually fun these days, and less boring.”

“It was boring before?” You were borderline insulted.

“Fighting against you was boring. Seeing you grow and mature as a fighter was interesting.”

“Uh huh.” You wiped the sweat from your brow. “Sure.”

He’d been gracious enough to let you room at his house. And for someone of his age, it was quite impressive for him to have one of this stature. You had your own room across the hall from his. He only had two rules when staying with him.

One: The lower levels were off limits. No matter what. He said that it had to do with his work, and that it would be unprofessional of him to allow someone to interfere.

Two: Don’t ask about his work.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t curious about it. Sometimes he’d leave for days on end and come back beat up, other times you’d hear noises from the lower levels.

They sounded like screams.

You wondered what he’d have to do for a living to hear such noises from below. Sometimes he’d go down for hours and come up itching for a fight with you, other times he’d leave satisfied and covered in blood. You’d wondered if it was his own.

Something about it didn’t sit right with you, but a fight with Childe was not one you wanted to engage in. He’d know all your moves, considering he’d been the one to teach them to you. Whenever you’d try to bring it up, you’d be shut down with an uncharacteristic coldness from him. One that barely used, only when he was talking about his work, that is.

But tonight the screams were louder. They reached your room in the depths of the night, even with the door closed and pillows blocking your ears. You had to know.

You were sick of being left in the dark here, you were sick of hearing those screams from downstairs. You had to know.

Were you training under a serial killer? Childe didn’t seem like the type, or was he?

The strange amount of pleasure he’d get when watching you get hurt by his hand. The ruthless way he’d slaughter hillichurls and treasure hoarders alike. No matter who or what it was, its death was no different to Childe. It seemed to light him ablaze, having him itching for a fight with anything that moved, and when it stopped moving, he’d be disappointed.

 The screams had died down after a few hours. You had to wait until you heard his boots go back upstairs and into the room across the hall.

You had to be more quiet if you were going to get in and out of there before he noticed you.

After these escapades he would take a shower, the running water would be enough to cover your footsteps going down the hall, truly.

A minute after the shower started running you made your move. It was easy to pick out what door led to the basement, due to the sheer amount of deadbolts and locks keeping it closed. He’d left the key in the door, probably to stop whoever was in the basement from looking through the keyhole. Smart move for him when it came to living alone, but with company, it was practically begging to be used.

And use it you did. Deadbolt after deadbolt, you finally turned the key.

The basement was warm and sweet smelling. But not in the pleasant way sweets were supposed to smell.

It made your stomach ache and twist as you descended the staircase, closing the door behind you.

The clinking of chains got your attention before the sight of blood had. The lights had flickered on, illuminating the sight before you. You couldn’t hold back your vomit anymore.

Your suspicions were right, or so it seemed, with the sheer amount of bodies below. One was still living, trembling, and hunching away from you. “Did Childe do this?” You knew the answer but had to be sure. Perhaps it was an associate he worked with, or some weird fetish.

The man nodded, “I didn’t have enough money.”

“What?”

“To pay back the Northland Bank.” He stammered. “I couldn’t pay them back, so they sent him.”

“He’s a debt collector?”

The man shook his head. “No. He doesn’t care about collecting the debt, not like the others.”

There were others?

“He gets sent in after the warning deadlines are up. You pay with your—”

The man abruptly stopped, looking past you and onto the stairwell. Then he couldn’t see at all.

An arrow flew past you, barely grazing your ear before finding itself in the mans eye socket. He slumped to the ground, lifeless. You whizzed around to meet the source, only to find Childe, an arrow drawn taught in the bow you’d barely see leave his side.

“Well that’s disappointing.” He sighed. “I was hoping to make him last another day.” He grimaced. “That was a warning shot, by the way.” He walked down the stairs slowly, still aiming at you. “Put your back to the wall.”

He almost sounded sad. You were too shocked to move.

An arrow landed at your feet, standing straight up against the ground. “I said ­put your back to the wall. That wasn’t a suggestion.”

You tripped over the man’s corpse while making it to the wall. “Childe I—” “Nope, too late for that. Hands up.” He slowly lowered his weapon and made a show of putting it away. He wanted you to know he still had it. He leaned in close to your face. “Now that’s a look I haven’t seen in quite some time.” His voice was low, husky. “Betrayal looks so good on you.”

You could feel his hot breath on your neck. You growled and threw your head forward, colliding with his. He took a step back.

Blood ran down from his forehead, his eyes practically glowing with excitement. “Oh hoh~ Now that’s what I’m talking about. A real fight from you.” He drew hydro blades from his sides and threw one at you. “I’m expecting improvement from you, my little trainee.”

You picked up the cool blade from your feet, never breaking eye-contact with him. “I’ll kill you.”

“You better hope you do. For your sake, at least.” You lunged at him, swiftly finding your way behind him, ready to strike.

“Your stance has gotten better.” He smiled. “But I’m afraid it still leaves you open” He kicked off from the ground and into the air, his foot collided with your chin sending you reeling.

“You bastard.” You hissed, picking yourself off from the ground with the steadiness of a newborn deer. “Why not be more quiet about your escapades down here? If you’d had your victims quiet down, I would’ve never found about what you were doing.”

“I never said I never wanted you to find out what I was doing.” He ran at you again, slicing your shirt and your left shoulder along with it. “I was hoping you’d have enough faith in your teacher to follow my rules.” He sighed. “I didn’t take you for the curious type.”

“I’m not.” You said, you swept at his leg, but he narrowly escaped, jumping just high enough to miss it. “But I enjoy liking to sleep in peace knowing my upperclassmen isn’t a serial killer.”

“I’m no serial killer!” He laughed, landing a cut to your lower back, then stepping hard on it. You fell to the ground trapped under his heel. “I’m simply following orders. I have nothing against these people.” He pressed harder.

You suppressed a scream.

“I do have a problem with those who interfere. You were going to help him, weren’t you?”

You’d be lying if you said you were going to leave him to die.

“Weren’t you?” His voice was closer to your ear this go round.

“Yes! Yes, I was!” You sobbed. “I just wanted to—”

“I’ve heard this before. Suddenly you have the moral upright to save a dying stranger? But you sat back and kicked your brother’s corpse?”

“That was different!” “Sure it was. A man is a man is a man, yeah?” His foot lifted from your back and turned you onto your stomach. “See the difference between me and a serial killer, is that if I was a serial killer, I probably would kill you right now.” He sighed. “But see, I like you. So I think I’ll let you live. Though don’t expect things to go back to normal. I can’t expect you to stay quiet and continue your training in the open alongside me.” He leaned you up against the wall, easily fighting against your protests. He took your wrists and cuffed them to the wall.

The restraints were still warm.

You shuddered.

“See, here’s the thing.” He said. He cupped your cheek with his spare hand. “I don’t want to leave you the way you are, half trained. I do enjoy fighting you.” He finished tying you upright and smiled, admiring his handiwork. “I’ll let you go under one condition.”

For the first time since you’d met him, his smile finally reached his eyes.

“You’re free if you can kill me.”

#yandere writing #genshin #yandere genshin impact #yandere childe #yandere genshin x reader #reader insert #childe x reader #genshin tartagalia #tw: violence #tw: injury #tw: graphic depictions of violence

[maisietheweltoncow]

The Dead Poets As Things My Friends Have Said Part 2

Todd: Why do neurotypical people talk about autism so weirdly like they never say it directly they always say on the spectrum really weirdly like if they mention it's name it will appear in the night to steal their children.

Meeks: I just heard lightning and someone scream outside my house.

Nevermind it was just my dad, he was screaming because they're losing in cricket on the TV.

Pitts: Guys I stuck my head out the window because raining vibes and I got wiped out by a huge wave of wind and my retainer flew out my mouth.

Charlie: I so kin King Julien

Neil: I read gender as Gerard

Knox: Roses are red, violets are straight, I'm here to tell you that I'm not gay.

I'm swag and straight.

Cameron: This HAS to be a cult activity.

Charlie: New aesthetic: viking core

Pitts: Cameron when a man makes eye contact with him today 😈🔪

Neil: OZYMANDIAS STARTED COVID CONFIRMED

Charlie: Remember Charlie, billy corgan is bald.

Cameron: Low-key very satisfying to watch myself suffer.

Neil: I'm really starting to think Satan did not want MCR to reunite.

Cameron: *talking about Hermione Granger* She's kind of a snob. Like calm down no need to recite the 127th times table. yeah no shit he's being put in an arena with a dragon and you all come to watch him die.

Charlie: T I T T I E S GO BRRRRR

Knox: Vibrating titties literally Ariana grande could never.

Meeks: I read that as 'a teacher that fucked us'

Pitts: 🙅🏼LAWSUIT BRRRING BRRRING VICODIN 🙅🏼

Charlie: I secrete that energy and the toxic fumes probably fill up your airways. In fact, you had a dream about Gerard Way and his bubble butt you've been poisoned already.

Charlie: Ayo Nico your ass is a dam snacc but you're gay so I run away.

I should say flat ass.

Nico has no ass but he's still cute, like Frank with his fucking concave ass.

Frank Zhang has no ass.

I can't look at Frank's ass because it's a valley.

Todd: Please honey my entire existence is an air quote generator.

Todd: Alcohol, it's crippiling. Be strong, keep drinking.

(the spelling mistake was intentional)

Meeks: I think my brain is saying bisexual but I say 🙅🏼

Neil: Why do I dwell on stupid things that are never gonna happen. Neil, Billy Joe will never let you on stage to play jesus of suburbia no matter how hard you practice it.

Meeks: OKAY GOTTA DISAGREE WITH YOU ANDREW GARFIELD IS THE WORST SPIDERMAN

Neil to Charlie: Yes hunny do your self discovery shit.

Pitts: PLS MEEKS WE HAVE PROBLEMS

Charlie: yeah whatevs, presents meatballs look at these fucking balls man.

*Trigger warning for self harm*

Cameron: what did he sh with, a fucking chainsaw?

Todd: Low-key feel like that's why I stopped rping with Neil. cba to deal with your self harming character who literally does it every other day but to the extent they're almost dead.

*you're all good now :)*

Cameron to Charlie: Pls why is that such a you thing.

Todd: For me it would probably be

⚠️STEP AWAY FROM THE FANFICTION⚠️

*Food mention below*

Todd: ok are you ever just not having a good time for no particular reason and it’s food time so you’re hoping that it’s just something familiar and single flavoured and textured in general but it’s the one day your parents decided to order chinese takeaway from a new place you’ve never eaten from before and you don’t know what to eat because you don’t definitely know what it’s like so you just eat the one thing that is always consistent between chinese takeaways but now you feel sick because you ate too many fucking prawn crackers

*the food mention is over*

Todd to Neil: I'm fine they said, Todd did not believe them.

Ok I'm done but I have years worth of this stuff, I could probably make another one.

Part 1

Tagging some mutuals:

@mendesxruel @mentalthisone @totallynotmrkeating @freckledcameron @neil-perry-is-alive @academic-on-a-midnight-dreary @caffieneandconstellations @deadreamersociety @she-nuwanda @aedan-mills @therichardcameron @therealchrisnoel @niknokplsstop @duh-itsalampmeeks @beeisnothere @justredistributingmatter sorry if I missed anyone out I didn't mean to :)

#I've accidentally made neil an mcr stan #oh well #dead poets society #stephen meeks #charlie dalton #todd anderson #neil perry #knox overstreet #richard cameron my beloved #richard cameron #autistic todd my beloved #todd reads fanfics now ig