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#this is gonna be great for steampunk builds

queerforscience · 7 months

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*sees copper lamps and trapdoors on Minecraft Live*

"OMG I bet GTWScar will be excited about this"

*opens Twitter*

#mcyt #minecraft live #gtwscar #I am also hella excited #this is gonna be great for steampunk builds

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ahungeringknife · 5 months

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slightly new and improved Writeblr intro

About me

I'm bb (bibi, and BB are fine but not Bb, that's a writing signature not mine), 30+, queer, she/they, and I like to write.

My fave genres are fantasy, scifi, and romance. Sometimes with historical fiction and slice of life thrown in too.

I have a probably unhealthy amount of OCs and I want all of them to kiss.

I write both fanfic and original stuff.

I mostly post my own writing, writeblr games, and posts that give me crazy OC thoughts to be tagged. I don't reblog a lot of writing advice or self deprecating writer posts because honestly? Couldn't be me.

I did a HUGE writing challenge this year that was an attempt to write 365 1-shots. One a day. I failed but that's okay. I wrote like 200 of them and that's great and I'm proud of myself.

This is a side blog. I follow from @xaz-fr

I love asks and tumblr messages. I do writeblr games but I could really use some writeblr friends to tag in the ones I do get :,D

I'd love to look at your stuff. You should def show me your writing in a reply or reblog :3

Main tags (that aren't WIPs)

#365 - the big year long project. It has some original stuff, and some fanfic. Lots of adult themes. Lots of original spooky stuff. Lots of 'horror and love are the same thing actually'. Things that are Very Adult are posted on AO3 with a link.

#Fey Alliance - catch all tag for my main setting, the Fey Alliance

#rattling - headcanons, world building, story thoughts, character questions, commentary. Mostly any original posts that aren't writing.

WIPs

The Zealous Servant - Dark high fantasy with lots of magic, necromancers, gods, and political drama. The main character Spayar needs to help his friend the crown prince kill the entire royal family before they turn around and do the same to him in order to claim the throne. Very queer, and is written for an adult audience not YA.

Entropy - My main fanfic WIP from the Destiny 2 fandom. Follows my OCs on their journey to bully the fuck out of Shin Malphur; resident Worst Guy Ever. Along the way he gets a hot girlfriend and I force him to have some actual friends because his lone wolf shtick is tired and stupid lol.

Lonos [working title] - This is a backburner one I need to really hash out a bit more. So I'll probably be posting a lot of rattlings about this one. Vaguely middle eastern appearance in setting about a traveling circus where all the players are also mercenaries for hire. Post a massive plague that wiped out almost all the magic users on the continent and the ones that are still around are viewed as cursed or unclean. (I swear I had this idea before the panny :,D) Gonna be a big long gay slow burn. For adult audiences.

Witchbane - Another backburner one I need to churn out some rattlings about. Steampunk set in a country called Ravthica where everyone thinks magic isn't real. When Spencer's parents go missing he's got to start believing in magic real quick when the hag that lives on his family's property tells him witches kidnapped his parents and the only way to get them back is to kill them. But witch hunting isn't exactly easy and he needs the help of some Wild things to find the witches that want his family and their witch hunting dogs all dead. For YA audiences.

#writeblr #writblr #writeblr intro #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writers and poets #creative writing #writers

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omegansamurai · 1 month

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I hate that these YouTube videos complain and moan about how the Netflix live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender was a 'failure'...I mean, if that was the case, then why had it been renewed for not one, but TWO seasons, huh?

And like...I doubt the Avatar Studios stuff is gonna be anything groundbreaking. I don't even think Avatar Studios' content will be any good. Really, it's like, why is this even a thing? Just leave the franchise alone, Bryke, and just let people who can write and make your story a lot more enjoyable (Netflix's Avatar).

It just reeks of desperation and Bryke trying to be relevant. Avatar is not the next Star Wars, I'm sorry. It's a Nick cartoon that should've been an epic four-season (maybe five seasons, who knows?) show, but it shrunk to three, to make a failed shitty trilogy movie that the first movie bombed at the box office, thanks to the creators 'SUPER WISE' decision of canceling the fourth season because they want that trilogy movie series, and honestly? That itself was a bad idea. Bryke tries too hard to make their product the next Star Wars(which I think they're fans of, which says a lot), and it painfully shows. They try too hard. REALLY hard.

Like with Legend of Korra, they try to be super edgy with their 'story' and 'characters', but they just miss the mark on what made ATLA great. I mean, they don't even care about how the bending looks anymore in Korra. Really, there's a reason why they put the final season online, and it was just a bad show. Don't deny it, everyone. I'm certain it would've been good...but it was executed poorly and made not only a mockery of the characters in that show but the OG characters of ATLA(especially Katara). Well, maybe Zuko is the only one who's doing alright...but that just reeks of sexism doesn't it? Toph is all alone in the Swamp, and Katara is...not who she is...always sad about Aang's death...like get it together girl, you're mother-effin KATARA. Get with it!

And another thing, what more is there to tell? What is the next series even going to be? The Avatars are cut off after Korra, right? So...what now? And if you put the setting in some lame-ass futuristic steampunk or cyberpunk world and have bending in it, then...well, that's not really Avatar, is it? It's just its own thing at this point. And really, I don't want any new characters...I never wanted Korra's characters either if the writing they have for them was that bad.

I just think this whole Avatar Studios is just...again, desperation. Like why not reboot it or just...tell the same story, but with a different setting?

Sorry, lost track.

What I'm trying to say is, is that people act like the Netflix live-action of Avatar: The Last Airbender supposedly 'failed', which isn't the case. Y'all are just butthurt about how your 'perfect show' got 'tainted' by big corporations, and honestly, that's far from it. The people behind this live-action were very committed, and the actors were very respectful of their roles. The BTS looked like everyone was having a good time. And here you have idiots going on about how the live-action sucks because...what, Aang talks too much? No sexism from Sokka? Katara didn't act all rage-filled or whatever? I can get the criticisms, but still, I enjoyed it. I liked it. I want to see more.

It's just that this stupid fandom likes to put down the live-action because the cartoon is supposed to be this or that and it doesn't have this...when honestly, it's its own thing, but it's still Avatar! Let it be its own thing! You got the cartoon, now look at this NEW Avatar: The Last Airbender by Netflix! Look at the way they portray the characters, look at the direction they're going, look how they world-build, just look at it! It's almost like fanfiction, and really, isn't that what Avatar is? Fanfiction? It may be a cartoon show, but it's still fiction. They're not real people. We can do whatever we want with them. We're just borrowing their characters, story, and world.

This whole thing is an adaptation. So it's not your cartoon...but it's still Avatar.

I know I'm just rambling at this point, but I'm just kind of tired of seeing thumbnails on YouTube of people bringing down the live-action Avatar. I genuinely enjoyed it, and yes, while it may have some things to work on, the people behind the show will listen to their criticisms and work on that. But again, I still liked it.

Just know one thing...Bryke would've made the live-action of Avatar a whole lot worse if they were in control. I really do believe that. And as for Avatar Studios...I give it a year before it goes bankrupt. I know that's a little harsh, but I just know that the animated Avatar movie is going to be disappointing. ^^;

#avatar: the last airbender #netflix avatar the last airbender #atla #atla netflix #anti bryke #anti avatar studios #rambles #idk #whatever

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heehoothefool · 1 year

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Mmmm I'm bored and it's almost 6 am and I cannot sleep.

I'm gonna assign the Empires SMP s2 cast DnD classes for the fun of it.

Joel: He's a Sorcerer for sure, but idk if wild magic or blue draconic bloodline is more fitting. On one hand, he dipped into a magic fountain to become a God which is very wild magic leaning. On the other hand, blue dragon ancestry would give an obvious affinity to lightning, and an excuse for his obsession with gold and the common teal/blue themes of his Stratos builds. You also can get wings. Idk, I like both a lot here.

Fwhip: Have you seen those funky Redstone signs? This little guy is an artificer all the way. After he made that sick mace? I'm gonna say he'd run the battle smith archetype. Idk funny little goblin tinkerer is just fun to me.

Jimmy: Fighter, gunslinger archetype. He's a cowboy, look at him. What else could he possibly be? I know he doesn't have a gun (yet) but I think he deserves it with all the gunpowder. He's also Just Some Guy and sadly fighter is the most Just Some Guy class there is.

Pixlriffs: The archivist artificer subclass was literally made for this man. Tinkering around with insane redstone, litematica, the obsession with the past and knowing things he shouldn't necessarily know, like it's all there. It's perfect for him. I love him.

Sausage: Oath of Devotion paladin, for sure. He's the protector of Sanctuary, it's his duty to protect his friends and his people, to stay true to them no matter what. He will protect his people and those he cares about. Also you literally get access to the spell Sanctuary as part of the extended spell list. Come on.

Scott: Wild magic Sorcerer. If a wizard gives you a glass eye that is SO going to have random magical consequences, and with how often Owen goes between human and Llama I wouldn't be shocked if it was related. They're also charisma casters and look at him. Look at him.

Joey: Gunslinger fighter again but this time with the pirate background specifically. He literally has a gun. What else could he be?

Oli: The man is literally a college of glamor bard. Like this isn't even a question. Come on now.

False: Oh an artificer all the way, look at the steampunk aesthetic going on here. I wanna give her artillerist because she definitely seems like the type to develop a flamethrower, but I think alchemist fits her lore (the whole amnesia potions thing) a bit better. Another one I'm a little torn on.

Gem: What else could she be but a light cleric? She is the princess of the sun and she started a church for the sun. Light cleric. Boom.

Katherine: Definitely barbarian, but the subclass isn't clear. I might need to homebrew a monster hunter subclass here because while that would normally be a ranger thing I guess, this isn't the first time I've wanted to build a monster hunter with a big sword or big axe. For now, I'll say wolf totem warrior.

Shelby: Wild magic Sorcerer with really bad luck who decided to multiclass into the actual alchemist class on the side, but not enough to pick an archetype. Her spells go wrong all the time, often on accident, she doesn't learn from a book, she's having a great time. Sorry you got polymorphed into a frog lol.

Lizzie: Another wild magic sorcerer except she stopped trying after she turned herself into a cat and decided to instead become an arcane trickster rogue. She is not a cat, she prommy. She totally will not steal from you the moment you aren't looking. She enchanted her mask to make her look human. She is human. Worry more about your chests. Don't ask about the amethyst. She has expertise in deception.

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jolivira · 1 year

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DW POSITIVITY DRIVE

in case you havent seen it, theres this initiative going around by taka to share stuff we love about doctor who!

so heres my list of stuff, in no particular order:

thasmin

I could write for hours about how important thasmin is to me but to spare all of you I wanted to focus on how the ship happened on the show, how chibbs, mandip and jodie saw our love for the characters and how much we related to them and decided to make it happen for us! and ended up gaving us one of the most beautiful wlw storylines ever

series 5

the whole crack in the wall plot is so well written and so mysterious and fun, honestly for me s5 is a capsule of everything good in doctor who! I loooove the fairytale/peter pan storyline sprinkled through amy's character, the humour, the episodes, river coming back, thE VAN GOGH EPISODE????

the van gogh episode

(I thought it deserved its own topic thingy because its that good)

PRAXEUS

its such a good episode, the visuals are stunning, the character parallels are great, the humour is good, it has so many iconic lines ("did she say brains" "thats why you smell like a dead bird" "Im a sucker for a scientist"), DID I MENTION BRAZILIAN QUEEN GABRIELA SPEAKING PORTUGUESE, the episode also takes advantage of the tardis potential and we go to new places outside europe/north america, gay kiss, its just such a good episodeeeeeee

him

missy what a beautifully complex character... sillyness combined with terrifying seriousness, danger, unpredictability and tragedy, with a potential for good just under the surface. basically I really like her and I will defend her to the end of times

yasmin khan god where do I even start. I think yaz has one of the most beautiful character arcs Ive ever seen, subtle and gentle, just like her. yaz is a character that at first glance people dont really get, and youre not supposed to, slowly she grows inside of you, opens up and develops. her journey from struggling with bullying and mental health issues, to desperately looking for something important to do and then meeting the doctor, falling in love with her, repressing her feelings to then finally come to terms with it and love her life like she never thought possible before (I need to stop here otherwise Im gonna bawl my eyes out) ((but you get the gist))

just any time the doctor speaks/pretends to speak with animals, aliens that dont speak english or babies, thats my shit right there

coatless 13 in the magenta shirt (I love her so much)

anytime the doctor Fixes or Builds Things and they are surrounded with steampunk tools and helmets and shit, like yes little nerd go make something explode

this one is a bit of a cheat cause its not about the show itself! but I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who creates stuff as well as supports stuff being made here in the fandom! in special I wanted to thank fanfic writers yall are fucking incredible and those masterpieces have helped me a ton, they also truly inspire me, so yeah keep on being amazing!!

I think that's all for now at least, and if you reached the end of this enormous post make sure to make your own, go go go!

#dw positivity drive #dw #dw positivity #doctor who #this is such a nice idea #its also really fun to just word vomit stuff i love about this show kdhkdsfhkfd #thasmin #thirteenth doctor #yasmin khan #discussion #also unrelated but tumblrs post editor was so buggy??#i had to write this twice and it was An Experience

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alexthescaredenby · 3 months

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pictures are too hard (it's eighteen pages long)

so here

anything underlined has a direct link to the original post (so click on those for drawings hehe)

Dreamscape Nexus ~

All Entries

Recovered sketchbook entry

The following document was recovered from an Ascario mining compound following a raid conducted by the SAS in cooperation with Seal Team 6. It was found lying on a desk by [REDACTED] on [REDACTED] among other scattered papers. The document was sent to Site [REDACTED] in [REDACTED] on [REDACTED] for further study. The document seems to depict a door, with some sort of slogan underneath it. Surrounding the door are windows shaped similarly to shards of broken glass, depicting several different words, images, and languages (Russian, Latvian, German, and Swedish), and connected by threads, almost like red string on an evidence corkboard. There are also several flyers and missing posters floating around the door. [REDacTeD] has taken note of this discovery and has expressed great interest in the document. Research is still ongoing.

ENTRY 00000000000000000000000000000000000oO0: Why Can’t I Remember?

Why can’t I remember? My brain feels fuzzy. This sword is heavy. I could just lie down here. Close my eyes… and rest…

ENTRY 1: A Door to Another World

Where am I? I stepped through the door and now I’m standing in a void? What is this place…?

ENTRY 8: Where Am I?

This place is strange. These islands float in what seems to be an endless void, and the laws of gravity do not apply in the way I know them to, if at all. And the beings that inhabit this strange realm... I must find a way to escape this place.

-OS

ENTRY 27

There is, SOMETHING out there, looking for me, i don't know what it is.

I can't get this damn mask off, and my arm isn't mending. Fuck, my shirt is covered in blood. What I wouldn't give for a warm bath right now... I fear for my safety, this place is strange, the laws of my world don't seem to apply here. and I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm being watched.

There's some sort of obelisk a couple islands down, I'll start out for it in the morning, not that one can keep track of time in this cursed place…

-OS

enTRY 27-B: Recovered Sketchbook

The following pages from OS’s sketchbook were recovered by [REDACTED] on [REDACTED] in [REDACTED], we have yet to identify any of the things depicted in the drawings.

Entry 30: Home Sweet Home

I found some sort of house at the foot of the obelisk, I'm sitting inside of it as I write this. Well, at least I have some shelter. My face feels weird, some kind of pressure behind my eyes, and my arm is getting worse. There're some sort of veins spreading up my bicep, and it hurts like a fucking bitch. What the fuck was in that spine?

Entry 34: Bells?

I hear chimes ringing, first non-natural sound I've heard in weeks. This building is fucking huge, gives me steampunk vibes.

Ugh, my head hurts, my arm is chalky, black and dusty. It feels like coal. I can barely write.

-OS

Entry 51: Bodies

Oh my gods, I'm gonna throw up.

They- they're- they're BODIES. Rancid, decaying, maggot infested corpses. They just showed up overnight, and they're standing there. Fucking empty eye sockets and rotted grins. It's disgusting. And the smell, I'm gonna be sick.

Entry 54: Ashes to Ashes

My arm is... Chalky, crumbly. It feels like sand.

The bodies are still there. They haven't moved. Why did I ever open that damn door…

Entry 68: Whispers in the WInd

The bodies are gone. They just disappeared. I looked away for 2 seconds and they were gone. Freaky.

This place isn't safe anymore. That- That THING is here. It knows where I am. I'm leaving. There's some sort of airship at the top of the mountain, I'll depart at glimmer's fade.

There are voices, too. Almost inaudible whispers, drifting on the wind.

When you see it, it sees you too.

When you hear it, it hears you too.

When you feel it, it touches you.

When it calls you, it has you.

When you feed it.

IT CLAIMS YOU.

Entry 78: Watcher

It followed me. I thought- I thought I got away but I didn't. It was just playing with me.

This damn mask.

My arm is doing weird things. Shifting and changing forms. It almost looks like charcoal sculpting. I don't know what's happening to me.

I know it's there. It always has been. You're there too, aren't you? I know you are. Don't lie to me. I see you. I always have seen you.

ENTRY 79: It Found Me

*unlike most of the recovered documentation, this entry is recorded on an old camcorder, the tape and camcorder are splattered in blood and a thick, inky substance*

It found me. It fucking found me. The long pale arms, it reached out and it- *makes strangling gesture* It was some sort of fucking demon. Fucking hell. It cut me, it fucking cut me!

*unintelligible mutterings, before subject shows themselves on camera. they are covered in blood and the same inky substance as before, a bright red overcoat covers their body, and a shield-shaped mask covers their face. their arm shows the decay described in previous entries.*

This place is hell. I've died and now I'm in fucking hell! Monsters, upside down bridges, and now a fucking cryptid chasing me around!?!?! What the fuck!?!?!

I need to get out of here.

*subject steps towards the camcorder, reaching out to turn it off, the last frames of video show the subject drawing a hunting knife from their overcoat*

ENTRY 92: Fuck That Box

Fuck that box.

There was fucking teeth. HUMAN TEETH. And a heart. Beating. Fucking pulsing and throbbing. There were HUNDREDS of them. The whole floor. Fuck. I should never have come here.

Where's the fucking booze.

ENTRY 97: City of Ghosts

I found... SOMETHING. I don't know what it is. Some sort of city? And there was some sort of church or something in the center. Floor was covered in stones, and they seem to be hollow. Boxes? I'll take one back and try to open it.

ENTRY 117: Memories

Why can’t I remember? There- there was a door and- and some kind of hit. That’s it, that’s all I remember! Next thing I know I’m waking up face down in the dirt here! What happened to me?

-OS

Documentarian’s letters

ENRY 01010100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110111 01110010 01101111 01101110 01100111 00101110: Documentarian

Hello there, how are you? No, this isn't OS. This is the Documentarian, I'm the one who's been investigating the Nexus and the Unconscious. I look forward to our future work together.

Are the stars still there?

ENTRY -|NULL|-

I know what you did. My garden is dying. Will you help me?

Life is not binary.

There is a space in-between. Maybe look into the code of our world, who knows what you'll find?

[CONTINGENCY 32R/TE-27 (ARCHIVAL RECOVERY) INITIATED]

What the hell Dawn?

[THEY ARE ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS. THE CYCLE MUST NOT BE BROKEN]

They’re just kids, you can’t blame them for being inquisitive!

[THE CYCLE MUST NOT BE BROKEN]

OS’s Rambles (ok alex)

Fuck Ascario

They pulled me out of that fucking hospital and made me go through that door. They promised me salvation, then handed me damnation. Fuck Ascario. I’m sorry Evelyn…

How is this happening?

It’s like I’m looking forward in time. Hello? HELLO? IS ANYONE OUT THERE, CAN YOU HEAR ME? PLEASE. Someone. Anyone… please…

Ascario documents

After-Action Report: Incident at the Nexus Entry Point

Date: [REDACTED]

Prepared by: Imogen Vladistov, Team Leader

Objective: Investigate the Nexus

Team Members:

Team Leader: Imogen Vladistov

Tactical Specialist: Graham Oreta

Tech Specialist: [REDACTED]

Medical Officer: Dr. Karina Solvea

Communications Expert: [REDACTED]

Overview: On [REDACTED], at 3:05 PM stable time, the team was dispatched to breach the Veil through the [REDACTED] at [REDACTED], near [REDACTED]. [OMITTED DUE TO IRRELEVANCE].

Chronology of Events:

Entry Point Approach:

The team approached the portal cautiously, noting its otherworldly appearance. Preliminary scans revealed unusual energy readings but lacked any concerning anomalies.

Door Transition:

Upon entering the portal, the team experienced a sudden disorientation. The transition was without incident.

Initial Nexus Exploration:

[REDACTED]

Monster Encounter:

As the team proceeded deeper into the Nexus, a hostile entity emerged from the shadows. The creature displayed unpredictable behavior and exhibited physical capabilities beyond human comprehension.

Evasive Maneuvers:

The team immediately engaged in evasive maneuvers, attempting to avoid direct confrontation with the monster. Tactical strategies were employed to create distance and formulate a plan for escape.

Escape Attempt:

Despite the team's coordinated efforts, the monster proved relentless. An emergency extraction point was identified, and the team attempted to retreat. However, the rapidly shifting nature of the Nexus made navigation challenging.

Nexus Entrapment:

As the team approached the extraction point, the Nexus environment underwent a sudden transformation, trapping the team in an isolated area. Attempts to retrace steps were unsuccessful, and the team found themselves confined within the Nexus.

Lessons Learned:

Unpredictability of Nexus Environment:

The Nexus displayed an inherent unpredictability, making navigation and escape challenging. Future missions in similar environments require enhanced adaptability and contingency planning.

Monster Behavior Analysis:

The hostile entity exhibited an unpredictable nature and formidable capabilities. Further research and analysis are essential to understand the monster's behavior and develop effective countermeasures.

Communication Protocols:

Communications within the Nexus experienced intermittent disruptions. Improved communication protocols and specialized equipment may be necessary for missions in such unconventional environments.

Recommendations:

Research and Analysis:

Conduct in-depth research on the Nexus to better understand its properties, transitions, and potential threats.

Specialized Training:

Implement specialized training for team members to enhance adaptability in unpredictable environments.

Equipment Enhancement:

Invest in advanced communication and navigational equipment designed for otherworldly environments to minimize disruptions.

Collaborative Research:

Collaborate with scientific and paranormal experts to gain insights into the Nexus and its inhabitants.

Conclusion: The incident at the Nexus entry point highlights the need for comprehensive preparation when dealing with unidentified portals and otherworldly dimensions. The team remains committed to resolving the situation and awaits further directives for potential rescue or extraction protocols.

Imogen Vladistov, Team Leader, 2nd Epoch of Ascario.

7 suns.

7 rings.

7 thrones for the Ebon KIng.

Let the cycle repeat.

Ouroboros Project

Ouroboros

Gods above, what is this stuff? Hold on, what is tha-

[WELCOME, OUROBOROS]

Uhm… hello?

[THE END OF THE CYCLE DRAWS NEAR, REALITY ITSELF WILL SOON BE PULLED APART AT THE SEAMS]

Oh. That’s… Less than convenient…

[LET THE CYCLE BEGIN ANEW]

I mean… if you say so…

[THANK YOU]

gib pictures

#GIB PICTURES #ALSO YOU FORGOR STUFF

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cboffshore · 1 day

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22 and 29 for the ask game?

Hi!!

22 - do I know how my fic will end before I start? Usually only roughly; sometimes, not at all, and the fic is done when the fic says so.

29 - I don't really have any of those somehow, but I CAN grab something from my A Little Annihilation sandbox WIP doc that's probably going to be published after some SERIOUS restructuring! (Or not! Who knows!)

“Hey, now. Just ‘cause I never met my father doesn’t mean none of him made it along for the ride. Anyway, moving on - he comes back into the scene and immediately picks up where he left off. And now!” Jay’s long since set down whatever tool he was spinning in his hand - his hammer or his crowbar, he’s no longer quite sure - and finds his hands blurring in the air like turbines as he speaks alongside them. “The guy builds a flying steampunk pirate empire. Unlimited resources! Untold power! Tragic backstory! He’s got all his friends back! Everything is awesome, it’s all set up to go just great, he’s living a life just primed for whimsy - and then what does he do with it?”

“Hmmm… you tell me.” Nya’s laid out flat on her side of their shared crate now, one leg kicked up and the other dangling over the edge. The shadow of her boot swings, a little leathery jungle vine, and casts sharp shadows in the beating sun as she plays along. “What does he do?”

“He fuckin’ wastes it.”

Nya’s sun-blocking salute drops for a second - just so she can use that hand to stifle an exaggerated stage gasp. “No way!”

“Yes way. Yes all the way. Like, that’s the kind of high fantasy fever dream people can only make movies about, but he took one look at it and said, nah, you know what? I’m gonna be a sad sack about it.”

(Thanks for the ask!!)

#Rook tag #Lila speaks #ask game #reclamation rambles

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moonysfavoritetoast · 3 months

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all the entries so far (i think)

anything underlined is a link to the original posts (27-B and recovered sketchbook entry have the drawings when you click the link)

Recovered sketchbook entry

ENTRY 00000000000000000000000000000000000oO0: Why Can’t I Remember?

Why can’t I remember? My brain feels fuzzy. This sword is heavy. I could just lie down here. Close my eyes… and rest…

ENTRY 1: A Door to Another World

Where am I? I stepped through the door and now I’m standing in a void? What is this place…?

ENTRY 8: Where Am I?

-OS

ENTRY 27

There is, SOMETHING out there, looking for me, i don't know what it is.

There's some sort of obelisk a couple islands down, I'll start out for it in the morning, not that one can keep track of time in this cursed place…

-OS

enTRY 27-B: Recovered Sketchbook

The following pages from OS’s sketchbook were recovered by [REDACTED] on [REDACTED] in [REDACTED], we have yet to identify any of the things depicted in the drawings.

Entry 30: Home Sweet Home

Entry 34: Bells?

I hear chimes ringing, first non-natural sound I've heard in weeks. This building is fucking huge, gives me steampunk vibes.

Ugh, my head hurts, my arm is chalky, black and dusty. It feels like coal. I can barely write.

-OS

Entry 51: Bodies

Oh my gods, I'm gonna throw up.

Entry 54: Ashes to Ashes

My arm is... Chalky, crumbly. It feels like sand.

The bodies are still there. They haven't moved. Why did I ever open that damn door…

Entry 68: Whispers in the WInd

The bodies are gone. They just disappeared. I looked away for 2 seconds and they were gone. Freaky.

This place isn't safe anymore. That- That THING is here. It knows where I am. I'm leaving. There's some sort of airship at the top of the mountain, I'll depart at glimmer's fade.

There are voices, too. Almost inaudible whispers, drifting on the wind.

When you see it, it sees you too.

When you hear it, it hears you too.

When you feel it, it touches you.

When it calls you, it has you.

When you feed it.

IT CLAIMS YOU.

Entry 78: Watcher

It followed me. I thought- I thought I got away but I didn't. It was just playing with me.

This damn mask.

My arm is doing weird things. Shifting and changing forms. It almost looks like charcoal sculpting. I don't know what's happening to me.

I know it's there. It always has been. You're there too, aren't you? I know you are. Don't lie to me. I see you. I always have seen you.

ENTRY 79: It Found Me

*unlike most of the recovered documentation, this entry is recorded on an old camcorder, the tape and camcorder are splattered in blood and a thick, inky substance*

It found me. It fucking found me. The long pale arms, it reached out and it- *makes strangling gesture* It was some sort of fucking demon. Fucking hell. It cut me, it fucking cut me!

This place is hell. I've died and now I'm in fucking hell! Monsters, upside down bridges, and now a fucking cryptid chasing me around!?!?! What the fuck!?!?!

I need to get out of here.

*subject steps towards the camcorder, reaching out to turn it off, the last frames of video show the subject drawing a hunting knife from their overcoat*

ENTRY 92: Fuck That Box

Fuck that box.

There was fucking teeth. HUMAN TEETH. And a heart. Beating. Fucking pulsing and throbbing. There were HUNDREDS of them. The whole floor. Fuck. I should never have come here.

Where's the fucking booze.

ENTRY 97: City of Ghosts

ENTRY 117: Memories

Why can’t I remember? There- there was a door and- and some kind of hit. That’s it, that’s all I remember! Next thing I know I’m waking up face down in the dirt here! What happened to me?

-OS

@bassguitarinablackt-shirt @catinasink @eternal-nyxx @anonnzone @shrimpysstuff @alexthescaredenby

#Dreamscape Nexus

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animatorweirdo · 2 years

Text

Steampunk humans visit valinor

(Some humans in steampunk style. I hope you like it and sorry for taking my time with this. Things are sometimes better when cooked slow, and excuse the bad tittle. I couldn't come up with anything better)

Requested by anonymous

Warnings; mentions of a rough life, nothing else really, Feanor is a headache.

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I'm gonna assume the human woke much earlier and had been surviving on their own in the darkened lands of middle earth.

They struggled a lot because there wasn't a lot of light, and the monsters would often snatch them into the darkness. They managed to survive and learn some skills from some elves who took pity on them.

I know you mentioned that they disliked the valars, but I can't help but imagine that Ulmo took notice of their arrival and helped them get through the struggle. He would give them a safe place and taught some skills to live beside the sea, and because of that, he would be the only liked valar among the humans.

When the humans managed to build a safe home, they started developing gadgets from metal and discovered further usage of water and fire. They then found technology and managed to better their lives without anyone's help.

They built better homes, great walls for protection, inventions for farming, and even went far to make the first airship. Water, coal, and oil were their most prized resources. And after discovering gunpowder. Humans managed to develop a gun, a great weapon against the orcs and other creatures of the night.

Humans knew there were other valars like Ulmo, but since they left them and everyone else on middle earth to survive on their own. The humans disliked them and didn't regard them as their rulers. They harbored the precious light and favored the elves. They did nothing to help the humans during their darkest time, so humans didn't see a point to have them in high regard.

Humans had some trifles with the avari and the people of Thingol since the valars favored elves the most but over time and discovering they were in the same situation, they overcame their conflict and became loyal neighbors. They even shared some of their technology with them.

Humans lived peacefully for years, but ever since Sauron took notice of their existence. Orcs and all kinds of monsters have relentlessly harassed them and their homes. Sauron tried to persuade them once to be on the same side, but humans didn't trust him since he was from the same race as the valars, thus the reason for the conflict.

They managed to repel Sauron and his creatures, but another severe problem came to their doors. Since humans lived in darkness, there wasn't enough light to raise crops and food. They managed to grow their crops thanks to the gems of starlight they received from the elves. They worked as artificial light, but there weren't enough gems anymore, so that caused a severe problem. Fishing was one of their lifestyles, but their fish stock was low because there wasn't enough fish in the sea anymore. Hunting was also an option, but the elves prohibited hunting more than agreed on, or they might risk overhunting.

The humans managed since they traded food with the elves, but if the crisis continued. The elves would face the same problem.

A terrible famine was coming, and one way to solve it was to have some light from the trees of Valinor. If the valars shared the tree's light with middle earth, it could solve their current food crisis and have Sauron's creatures back off.

Since the humans respected Ulmo, they asked him to persuade his brethren to share some of the tree light.

Ulmo heard their pleas and delivered the news. The other valars knew about the humans, but they didn't think they needed to interfere since the humans had managed for a long time on their own. They said they couldn't do it for some reason, but Ulmo found that unreasonable since it was their duty to care for all of the children of Eru. They promised they work on some alternative for the secondborns, but time passed, and they still had done nothing.

The pleading continued, but after several failed attempts to gain the Valar's attention. The humans decided it was enough and time to travel to Valinor for a serious meeting. If they didn't lend their ears through Ulmo, humans have to come themselves to have them listen.

Ulmo couldn't convince them to stay, so he at least told his brethren that the secondborns were coming for an audience. They didn't believe him at first until the humans finally arrived.

---------------------------

-A mysterious ship flew through the sky, gaining everyone's attention on the ground. The elves of Valinor were frightened by the giant construction and watched as it flew above them.

-The giant ship flew near one of the mountain tops, then people inside threw ropes and anchored the airship to the mountain.

-Some of the elves went to investigate, and when they got there. A hatch opened, and a ramp fell on the ground, allowing the strange people to walk out.

-The human diplomats and leaders greeted the elves and asked to be taken to meet the valars.

-Humans have arrived.

-The valars and the elves were shooked by the giant construction the humans called an airship. The valars paled a little when the humans demanded an audience to deal with the problems of middle earth.

-Ulmo knew about their coming, so he was the least surprised.

-The valars had no choice but to hear the humans out since they came all this way. They couldn't throw them out since they didn't cause any trouble, except a minor fright with their arrival.

-The diplomats were more than respectful and subtle with the valars, so the meeting was tense.

-The elves were fascinated by the airship, and many went to greet the people on the ship. They were excited to meet the rumored humans.

-The crew members were friendly, and the visitors from middle earth wanted to do some business with the locals.

-They shared treasures and currency, and the crew members bought coal and retrieved water to refuel the ship. The other visitors wanted to buy crops and a lot of food they could deliver to middle earth to deal with the famine. So, several owners made a killing that day.

-Many inventors like Feanor were curious about the airship, so they went to see it. Feanor was frightened by the aircraft when it arrived, but when the humans assured they weren't a threat. He wanted to get inside and know its construction.

-You were the captain of the ship and leisured on the main deck. You watched the Valinor from the windows. You would have loved to go sightseeing, but you couldn't leave your position, so you satisfied yourself watching from your ship.

-You did have one of your excited crew members go out and take some pictures with a camera.

-One of your crew members asked for permission to give a couple of elves a tour of your ship. You allowed it, thinking it wasn't harmful.

-You did give them a rule, do not touch anything.

-Well, that was five minutes ago. One of your crew members came back in panic, telling the elf called Feanor was touching everything.

-You were protective of your dear ship, so you joined the tour to remind the elf lord to keep his hands to himself.

-Feanor might be a prince, but since you were the owner of the ship and not one of his people, you had the right to throw him out if he caused problems or damage.

-He obliged, but he was less than pleasing company as you showed him around your ship.

-He had good ideas on how to improve the ship's mechanics but considered most of it poorly designed.

-He was pretty much getting on everyone's nerves, especially your head mechanics.

-Feanor then got curious about your gun which was strapped against your waist and stole it a couple of times for an inspection.

-You had to unload it in panic before he accidentally shot himself.

-You had enough when his son, the little copy of him, almost tampered with a system that would have caused a severe explosion.

-You ended the tour since they had seen everything and made them walk out of your ship.

-You were polite toward strangers, but when it came to your ship. That's when you cross the line.

-You ordered your crew not to let any inventors inside. Ordinary people were okay, but not the inventors.

-If Feanor came back, he was to be shooed away with a broom.

-Unfortunately, even with your warnings, some inventors were stubborn and tried to get inside and scramble everything.

-You had a headache, so you hugged your cat for therapy.

-Luckily, your head mechanic knew how to relieve your headache and showed some love to motivate you to get through the day. He was your fiancee, so there was nothing weird about it.

-Some locals gave you two weird looks since your fiancee was an elf. They questioned you a lot because humans were mortals and elves immortal. They shouldn't be together. Well, jokes on them, your brother is marrying an elven princess in the next summer of twilight.

-In the town, Galadriel's attention was caught by a young refined-looking elven lord dressed in silver, who came to visit some relatives.

-Lord Celeborn, a representative of Thingol and his people in middle earth.

-When they saw each other, it was love at first sight, and Celeborn became clumsy, which got teased by the humans.

-Melkor, who was released from Mandos and allowed to walk upon Valinor, was surprised but interested by the humans and their technology.

-He had an idea to influence them to his side, but surprisingly, the pride of humans was almost bigger than Feanor's.

-They knew him well and his wretched subordinate Sauron, so they hated him on the spot.

-Sauron had managed to replicate some of their technology and weaponize his orcs which humans considered a great insult to their successions. Sauron was nothing but a wretched copycat.

-The diplomats wanted nothing to do with him, and you didn't allow him inside your ship since he creeped your people out, so he didn't get through with humans.

-It would frustrate him since you arrived when he planned to destroy the trees and steal the silmarils, and it didn't look like you were going to leave any time soon.

-Melkor was stuck postponing his plans, valars were stuck with angry humans who refused to leave until the valars gave in to their demands, and you were stuck with a pretty stubborn elf trying to dismantle your ship.

#silmarillion #silmarillion x reader #steampunk au #silmarillion headcanon #feanor #melkor #valars #ulmo #sauron #middle earth x reader #middle earth #tolkien #silmarillion fanfiction #airships #guns #reader insert #I can't come up with better tags

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icybreaths · 7 months

Text

Steampunk AU GrimmJe really has some Tom and Jerry moods the more I think about it.

-Jewel's airship pirate ass out there tricking her warden into opening her cell for a split second and their scuffle lands him locked in there instead while she makes her getaway, having stolen a precious knife of his.

-She jumps ship and he finds out later, thinks she's dead, until he crosses paths with her on a separate ship they both target and he's the one captured (without her help this time!)

She makes prolonged eye contact and leaves him there while snooping through the ship's boxes and chests with her butt up in the air, legit just diving into shit.

Ignores his griping right up until she's done and she goes up and cuts sOME of the rope binding him, knowing he'd still have to put in a helluva lot of effort to get free. Uses his knife she stole to tip his chin and say, "Yer welcome~" Pokes the knife against her own cheek and makes a kissy gesture before dashing off.

-Her reputation's garnered some traction and he's not the only one after her or the crew she was a part of. Doesn't see her for months... until he sees an all too familiar face in an unfamiliar town serving guests in a shady bar. Got a different getup on but he recognizes her.

They're both like

while she's like, "What can I get fer you, sir?"

Brings him his drink, spends extra time focusing on other people because fucking great of course he's here, how the fuck--

They make small talk when she 'has' to stop by his table. She can tell he's just waiting for the right moment to get her and boy she's just waiting to make her getaway at this point.

Makes up some excuse about feeling sick to get out of work and leaves out the back way lmao bye.

But he's on to her!!! And gdi she's not gonna get away. It's happened TOO MANY TIMES.

A separate fight breaks out in this bar because weewoo he wasn't the only one on to her in there. He's so. mad about it.

It gets so bad that a fire starts in the building. People are scattering, calling for help. Multiple hunters are scrambling to find Jewel's lil pirating ass.

Grimm catches her hopping rooftops and BITCH he's going after her. He's wants the things she's stolen and he wants the bounty on her head.

She thinks she's in the clear because she had a head start but she didn't expect Grimm to be good at climbing shit.

He catches up to her, corners her even. She can't make the next jump. He thinks this is it, that he's finally got her.

She looks ready to fight, but then tries to make him look over his shoulder. He's not convinced in the slightest.

She has to tackle him down as shots ring out in their direction.

It's another one of the hunters, aiming across the way. It was evident that she was the target but Grimmjow was in the way so he was getting fired at too.

They both seek cover and try to shoot back at their attacker.

It's only between quick glances that they hatch a plan to get away from this person. One would cover fire while the other backtracked across rooftops to the nearest one they could scale down from. They're successful, but not without sustaining shots.

He follows her to one of her underground hideyholes.

When she stops she points her gun at him. Her aim wavers because her arm's bleeding profusely. "I'm not goin'. Wherever yer wantin' a'take me m'not doin' it."

He's also wounded, aims at her at the same time. "I'm not takin' you anywhere."

They have this silent standoff for a moment.

She says, "Empty yer clip; I'll empty mine."

They both do.

She immediately rushes over to grab medical supplies. She only helps him because he helped her. Their neutrality here was only temporary.

#grimmje.txt #[ steampunk au ]#//she gets a little sillay as an airship pirate

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enchantingpeanutmagazine · 1 year

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Empires smp s1 as vanguard G clans(Grimlands)

disclaimer once again: warning this is gonna be a really long post 030, but if you have some time to waste for sure go for it and enjoy reading the work of a mad man.

ok so hear me out, I am quite a big fan of card games and all those sorts of stuff so as a little side project I decided to turn all the empires from season 1 to clans from cardfight vanguard G. So each clan includes the cc as the main grade 3 and the grade 0,1, and 2s my headcanons for citizens and creatures belonging to that empire.

Grimlands Structure Deck: Crimson Ambition

ok for Grimlands what I wanted to focus on is the idea of technologies as well as their societal hierarchy? With the ruler of Grimlands being fWhip and fWhip in s1 being a super ambitious alchemist? architect? vampire at some point? I wanted to try and mix all those aspects together to form some sort of powerful resource engine that sacrifice their natural resource for the sake of their own prosperity.

so what I ended up as the mechanic for this empire is a keyword known as "Experimentation". From all the things we get to see e!fWhip build, brew and make with his mega big brain we can clearly see that his empire in s1 had a lot of its focus around some sort of steampunk technology that may or may not be super dangerous to the people of Grimlands or the other empires, e.g. the rapture being caused by his invention and mixing the fishes. So the goal of "Experimentation" is to emulate the danger of that, because this keyword forces you to discard your own deck, aka using up your resources and sacrificing a bit of your future potential essentially.

another aspect of e!fWip's character and empire that I wanted to use for some inspiration for this clan is that for some reason I recall that e!fWhip was supposed to be a vampire or something like that due to redstone mutation or something? But yeah I grabbed that concept by the horns and just ran straight into a car with it, because I just love the idea that Grimlands also housed a lot of vampires and mutated people, so in the card list you'll see some allusion to that.

lastly, because of how advanced Grimlands is I wanted it to be a control deck that utilizes a lot of retiring effects to reflect the dangerous weapons of mass destruction that it has the capacity to produce while also having cards that gives a lot of hand advantage from either drawing or returning cards from the drop zone to your hand.

Keyword = Experimentation, when an ability with this keyword is activated, send the same amount of cards from the top cards of your deck equal to the listed amount to your drop zone

Wings of Vermillion Corruption, Count Fwhip

Grade 4, +15000 power

STRIDE

[Act](VC): [Counter blast 1, choose a card from your hand and discard it and choose a card from your G zone with the same card name as this unit and turn it face up] This unit gains +1 drive and the ability “Experimentation 1- [Auto](VC): When this unit attacks a vanguard this card gains 5000 power until the end of the battle” until the end of the turn.

Experimentation 2- [Auto](VC) Generation Break 3: [Choose 3 cards from your hand and add it to your soul] At the end of the battle that this unit attacked a vanguard you may pay the cost if you do stand this card and it gets drive -3.

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Redstone Mutated Alchemist

Grade 4, +1500 power

STRIDE

Experimentation 1 - [Act](VC): [Counter blast 1] Choose a grade 2 or greater card from your drop zone and add it to your hand. Then if your drop zone has 5 or more cards this unit gains 3000 power until the end of the turn.

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Great Architect of Grimlands, Count Fwhip

Grade 3, 11000 power

Experimentation 1 - [Auto](VC) Generation Break 2: At the beginning of your turn, if you have 1 or less face up card in your damage zone you may Counter Charge 1.

[Auto](VC) When your G unit strides during your turn, choose one of your vanguard and it gets the ability “Experimentation 1- [Auto](VC) (1 per turn): Whenever this unit attacks, your opponent chooses 1 of their RC and retires it.”

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Salmon Mech MK 2

Grade 3, 11000 power

Experimentation 2 - [Act](1 per turn)(VC/RC): [Counter blast 1] Retire 1 of the opponent’s rearguard and if this unit is on the VC this unit gains 5000 power.

[Con](RC): This unit gains 2000 power for every 5 cards in your drop zone.

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Vermillion Blood Aristocrat

Grade 2, 9000 power

[Con](RC): Whenever your card is sent to the drop zone from card effects, this unit gains 1000 power until the end of the turn.

Experimentation 1 - [Act](VC/RC): [Soul blast 1] This unit gains 3000 power until the end of the turn.

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Gunpowder Enthusiast

Grade 2, 9000 power

Experimentation 1 - [Act](VC/RC): [Counter blast 1 and Soul blast 1] Your opponent chooses one of their rearguards and retires it.

[Con](RC): During your turn when an opponent’s rearguard is retired this unit gains 2000 power until the end of the turn.

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Redstone Distillery Officer

Grade 2, 9000 power

Experimentation 2 - [Auto](RC): [Counter blast 1 and discard 1 card] At the end of your turn if your opponent has 2 or less rearguards, draw 2 cards and if there are 10 or more cards in your drop zone, you may Counter charge 1.

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Flying Salmon Informant

Grade 1, 7000 power

[Auto](Hand): When paying the cost for stride this card in you hand gets grade +2

Experimentation 1 - [Auto](Deck): [Counter blast 1] When this card is sent to the drop zone due to the effect of a card with Experimentation, you may add this card to your hand.

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Redstone Miner

Grade 1, 7000 power

[Auto](RC) (1 per turn): [Soul blast 1 and rest this unit] Choose 2 normal units from your drop zone and put them on the bottom of your deck, draw 1 card.

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Crimson Eyed Noble

Grade 1, 7000 power

Experimentation 1 - [Auto](RC): [Retire this unit] At the end of your turn choose a grade 2 or greater card with experimentation from your drop zone and add it to your hand. If you have 1 or less face up card in your damage zone Counter charge 1.

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Eastvale Villager

Grade 1, 6000 power

Sentinel

[Auto]:[Choose a card from your hand, and discard it] When this unit is placed on (GC) from hand, you may pay the cost. If you do, choose one of your units, and it cannot be hit until the end of that battle.

[Auto](Deck): [Discard 1 card] When this card is sent to your drop zone due to the effect of cards with experimentation, you may return this card to your hand.

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Novice Redstone Alchemist

Grade 0, 5000 power

Forerunner

Experimentation 2 - [Act](RC): [Put this unit into your soul] Choose a grade 2 or greater card from your drop zone and add it to your hand, if you have 10 or more cards in your drop zone Counter charge 1, Soul charge 1.

---------------------------

x12 critical triggers

x4 heal triggers

ok so from the card list above you can clearly see that this deck is very much about wrecking the opponent's board and having a great time doing it, some of them get more power by doing so while others gain different effects while the opponents are low on rearguards. Another prominent thing in this empire's cards are that because of how much deck milling you will have to do to activate your experimentation ability and thus sacrificing your future trigger units or important potential rearguards this deck features a good amount of resource recursion, by either adding themselves to your hand when discarded from the deck or card that allows you to add a card directly from your drop zone.

although I see this deck and Grimlands as an empire to be very efficient and advanced I do think that their ambitions and drive to improve their tech unto the unforeseeable future means that they will drain their natural resources a lot faster than their opponents. So even though they are technically a control deck that is meant to outlast your opponent with value, due to how all their engine uses so much resources they are prone to decking out and losing, which is a glaring weakness of theirs. Additionally, this excessive use of resource will also be reflected by the other members of the wither rose alliance as well because I just think its neat.

so yeah here's what I think Grimlands would be like as a vanguard clan. For my next empire im thinking of doing the other half of the rosebling, which is the Crystal Cliffs, so yeah watch out for that

#empires smp #empires smp s1 #grimlands #empires fwip

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loopy777 · 2 years

Note

A world building question. One of my planned stories is a Tolkien What if set in a universe where Sauron ultimately went west to face judgement, and so in turn this butterflied away the fall of numenor. This in turn caused a second age that essentially never ended, stretching on, and on, and on for years beyond count.

However, due to different events not related to to the numenoreans, the lands of Valinor got a second great shroud put over them, to make certain that none save elves, or one who carried a silmaril as Earendil had, could ever pass by way of sea ships.

My question is this. How would you advice me to handle the flat nature of the world in the age of Planes and airships? Should i treat the void beyond like it's space, or could one actually fly through it without worry so long as one has the fuel? Or should i treat the void like it's always been like space, and so essentially around the world there is a horizontal atmosphere?

I had a little trouble parsing the two options, so I asked for more detail and got the following:

All right so a bit of clarification about the Tolkien second age void question.

My question is, do you think should i treat the void like actual space, aka. Ridiculously hostile, and impossible to traverse without at least 21th century tech, or should i treat it more like, say, the disney movie Treasure planet treats space?

Obviously im not gonna go in the direction as that movie did, with a massive interplanetary trade network or something, but i kinda like the idea of people using flying balloons to explore the sides of Arda, beyond the outer encircling sea where nothing lives, and there is no buoyancy (Specifically made that way, presumably so you can't literally sail off the map.).

Also a bit of expansion on why I'm asking this question.

The way i have always thought of this, is that the point where Eru bend the world into a circle was turning point, not just in making the world much more mundane, and the magic leaving it, but also making the world much more... Clarified and built on a much less fantastical base.

For example. Earendil the evening star. In the context of the first and second ages, Earendil is a man in a flying boat who lights up the night sky, and brought hope to the world after the battle of unnumbered tears, to reawaken the free people in preparations of the war of wrath.

However, as the second age ended, and Eru realigned the universe to fit it, Earendil's physical nature was changed, as while he remained in the night sky, the man on his ship with his sillmarill became the very physical planet Venus, and would presumably remain as such until the Tolkien version of Ragnarok.

Now, one of the things i wanted to explore here, is a world where this never happens. Arda does go through changes, but the world remains the way it was originally made, with a flat top, all the way to the encircling sea, numenor never falls into the sea, though its golden age does not last forever, the elves, though they never quite regain the kind of energy and drive they had before the first dawn, and the first age, never begin to truly fade away as they did into the fourth age, and magic remains much more common even as technology advances.

Hence why i'm trying to figure out how such a world would progress once it reaches the kind of tech where the natural boundaries of the encircling seas suddenly isn't so impassable anymore (Also, you might have realized this story is heavily inspired by the steampunk, prototype numenor that Tolkien eventually abandoned in favor of his finalized version.)

I'm very glad I asked, because this speaks directly to how I like to do my worldbuilding: its primary purpose is to support the needs of the story, its secondary purpose is to provide color and texture, and its lowest priority is to delight the audience. Any worldbuilding that satisfies all three objectives is solid gold. Anything that delights but otherwise adds nothing is on the chopping block if I need to reduce words or tighten the pacing. Anything that enables the story but accomplishes nothing else will get to stay but will be pushed as far into the background as possible. Texture that adds nothing else can be written into something completely different at a moment's notice.

So, considering that one of the main goals of this story is explore a different kind of setting, I like the idea of the 'fake space' that can be explored without a pressurized airtight capsule and strong understanding of momentum. For one, Tolkien was purposefully trying to create a Mythology, not a History, complete with the mythological-style explanation for stars. I think your idea works for how the end of the third age and the loss of magic retcons the fantastical into the mundane, but that's also where the story Tolkien was telling ends, aside from the distant ragnarok. As long as you're exploring the world in your own story, I like the idea of keeping things a bit separate from reality, especially if it makes for good spectacle.

And as far as spectacle goes, I love the idea of a steampunk setting where space exploration is based on older ideas from back when no one thought it would be a vacuum. Elves In Space is a great title, but Elves in NASA pressure suits flying Saturn V rockets doesn't really do anything that actual stories of actual Apollo missions doesn't. Doing something different and creative is a draw on its own, even aside from the Tolkien links.

I also think there's some story possibility where this kind of space exploration creates a kind of Tower Of Babel situation where humanity and/or elves is going a bit beyond what Eru wanted of them and so they might have another set of limiters coming like a vacuum space that's lacking gravity.

Plus, I admit, I just personally like the style of retro space opera that stuff like the Duck Dodgers cartoons pulled from, so I always advocate for it.

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kathyprior4200 · 23 days

Text

Hazbin Hotel Episode 2: "Radio Killed The Video Star" (Helluva Scribe Remake)

Part One

The Hazbin Hotel building stood on a black hill, surrounded by a few dead trees and old fences. In the center of a circle of stones was a black pentagram design on the ground. Inside the hotel, everyone was worried about the news of the Extermination being moved up.

Charlie paced back and forth in the parlor, hyperventilating and in disbelief that her meeting with Adam had failed so badly. KeeKee the key cat followed her as she paced.

“Okay. So the Extermination is coming in six months instead of a year. No big deal. Just a little setback. Nothing we can’t handle. Just angels cutting our timetable in half. But who needs a whole year to save souls? Am I right? And next time when they cut the time in half again, and again, we’ll just handle it, right?!”

Vaggie steadied her panicking girlfriend, grabbing hold of her arms. “Yes. We will.”

“Oh please,” Angel Dust scoffed from the couch. He scrolled through his cell phone with a spider web cover on it. “Ya had less than half a chance when you started this salvation bullshit. And now…” His phone vibrated. “…ain’t no silver lining this time, toots.”

Angel Dust scrolled down as he read messages from Valentino:

“SO I’M THINKIN. YOU AND THREE HUGE GUYS ARE GETTING IT ON AND IT’S REALLY HOT AND OILY AND THEN ITS REVEALED YOUR ON A BOAT AND IT’S SINKING SO YOU ALL HAVE TO CUM AS FAST AS YOU CAN.”

“HAVE YOU SEEN TEMPERATURE PLAY VIDS? LOL CAUSE THERE IS GONNA BE ICE!!!!”

“SO GET THAT FLAT BONEY ASS TO THE STUDIO BABY – AS YOU CAN SEE, THE IDEAS ARE FLOWING.”

“HAHA SO IT’S BEEN THIRTY SECONDS…DON’T BE LIKE THIS BABY.”

“THIS ISN’T CUTE, ANGEL, LEGIT I’M SO BORED OF THIS LITTLE CAT AND MOUSE CHASE.”

“FR OVER IT!”

“FUKIN BITCH! BABE. ANGEL, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU????”

“Sure there is!” Charlie breathed, trying to stay hopeful. “We just…have to look a little harder for it!”

“Well, while you’re lookin’,” said Angel Dust. “…the rest’a Hell’s goin’ nuts. People are already freakin’ out about the news. Look at what’s happenin’ in the Doomsday District.”

Angel Dust showed a video of a male demon wearing a hat who was screaming as flames roared in the background. “New Message From Valentino” popped up at the top of his screen in pink.

“Err, what is a Donkey Show?” asked a puzzled Charlie.

“Aah, heh, nothin’,” Angel Dust said, pulling back his cell phone. “My boss Val is just freaked out about the news, too. Like I said, everyone’s losin’ their shit.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Vaggie pondered, putting her fingers to her chin. “Sinners are desperate.” She grinned at Charlie. “Maybe desperate enough to try anything to escape the Extermination?”

Charlie gasped as an idea came to her. “This is the perfect time to recruit more Sinners for the hotel! The commercial we made should be of great help!”

“Cute idea and all,” said Angel Dust, waving his phone, “but you really going to go out in all of this?” On the phone screen, a green-faced aquatic demon wearing a black jacket screamed as his eyes bled and more flames burned.

Charlie began. “Well, it’s not like people are just going to show up on our doorstep…”

Charlie screamed and flinched as a sudden blast shook the hotel and created a large gaping hole in the wooden wall by the bar. Outside the hotel, a steampunk black and gold zeppelin blimp hovered menacingly in the air, looking like a large demonic shark with gold sharp teeth. The small eyes were made of pink glass. There were golden windows with moving gears inside the ship. From the large metallic mouth at the front of the blimp were an array of laser guns and weapons pointed at the hotel.

Inside the ship were the Egg Boiz, two-legged egg minions wearing small black top hats and pinstriped suits of gray and yellow with black neckties. The purple walls were in the design of scales near more gears at the windows. Standing high at the controls was none other than the serpent Sinner Sir Pentious. He wore a pinstriped suit with gray and yellow stripes and had a black bowtie in the center. His top hat was large and gray, with a large pink eye and sharp teeth of its own. Steampunk goggles lay on his head. Sir Pentious’ eyes were pink, his fangs sharp, his face coal black with a long cobra hood of more pink hypnotic eyes against yellow. The lower half of his body was serpentine with scales of black and gold with more pink eyes.

“Show yourself, Alasssstor!” he demanded, pointing forward. “Come and face…”

He glanced around and saw Alastor casually sipping black coffee from his red mug that read “Oh Deer!” on it. He was relaxing in a chair at a small table on the hotel balcony.

“Oh, there you are,” Sir Pentious mentioned. Then he finished in anger, “Face my wrath!” He bared his fangs and hissed. His hood stretched out, revealing his additional pink eyes.

Alastor merely grinned. “Who are you?”

“Who am I? Who am I?! I am the great Ssssir Pentioussss! Inventor, architect of dessstruction! Villain extraordinaire!”

Alastor transformed into shadow and materialized in front of the hotel doors. Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel Dust stood beside him.

“Ooh! You tell ‘em, boss!” cheered one of Sir Pentious’ egg minions, small fist in the air.

Niffty appeared on Alastor’s shoulder. “Oooh, he’s a bad boy,” she said with a sly grin. Alastor picked her up with one hand and gently placed her on the ground. Alastor shrugged and mocked Sir Pentious. “Ha. Well, if all that’s true, you’d think I’d have heard of you.”

“I attacked you literally last week!” Sir Pentious reminded him.

Alastor cocked his head.

“We’ve done battle like twenty times?!” Sir Pentious added.

“Well, you must have been really bad at this,” Alastor retorted, twirling his microphone cane.

“Silence!” Sir Pentious yelled. “Now cover! For when I have ssslain you, the almighty Vees will finally acknowledge me as their Overlord equal!”

“Ooh!” Niffty grinned before pausing. “Wait, who are the Vees?”

Alastor waved a hand. “Oh, nobody important. Just a gross moth porn owner, a boxy TV arrogant ass, and a cocky fashion gossip witch.”

“Can I meet them?!”

“No.”

Niffty’s face fell.

“Why do you want to attack us again?” Alastor asked.

“To get revenge on how you defeated me last time! Also to get the Vees approval so I can stay safe from the next Extermination,” Sir Pentious mentioned.

“Good luck with that,” Alastor said with a smug expression. “Feel free to get defeated again.”

“I will not lose again!” Sir Pentious yelled. “Minions, ready the cannons!”

The Egg Boiz aimed the cannons again, but two large black tentacles shot out from the ground in front of Alastor. In a flash they had wrapped around Sir Pentious’ zeppelin…again…a third tentacle breaking a lower window. Niffty clapped and enjoyed the show, while Angel Dust, Vaggie, and Charlie watched in concern.

“Argh! Oh! Please! Stop!” Sir Pentious cried from inside.

Alastor chuckled darkly.

“Um…Alastor! I think he’s had enough,” Charlie mentioned.

Alastor laughed evilly, mouth open, red eyes bulging out.

“Nah, he’s got a few more hits in him,” Angel Dust countered.

Sir Pentious yelled as he tried to cling onto something on the floor of his ship. The zeppelin tilted downward and with a scream, the snake fell out through a hole in a broken yellow window. He landed with a thud and a faceplant on the ground in front of Alastor, the impact creating cracks in the ground.

Alastor twirled his staff. “Thanks for another forgettable experience.” An Egg Boi #23 fell and broke into pieces in front of Charlie.

Sir Pentious’ hand twitched. “Thank you…for letting your guard down!”

With his tail, Sir Pentious ripped off a piece of Alastor’s red suit. He lifted up his head and held the piece of fabric in triumph. “Haha! Yah!”

Alastor’s shadow loomed over him, and Sir Pentious’ face fell. “Oh shit…”

Sir Pentious screamed again as Alastor tossed him high into the air with another tentacle. Sir Pentious’ zeppelin exploded in green smoke, and he soon vanished into the distance. Alastor grinned as he posed with his cane.

Alastor turned around. “Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor!” He was disgusted at Sir Pentious ruining his fabulous outfit. “Best of luck, chums!” He turned around to leave. Vaggie folded her arms.

“Wait, you’re LEAVING?! Alastor! We need your help! We need you to do your job.”

“We need a wall,” Angel Dust added, mentioning to the hole. Alastor turned around again.

“Of course! Can’t let my new project fall into disrepair already. What would the papers say?!” He snapped his fingers and shadow minions materialized before them as he left. A slender horned shadow grinned while holding a saw. A smaller one held a paint brush. One with a white face and black Xs over its eyes flew and carried a bucket. Another one held a hammer, paint roller, and bucket, and wore a hard hat. Another one also wore a hard hat and floated in the air. The largest one posed with his hands on his hips, one X over his right eye with a small black top hat.

Angel Dust shoved Vaggie aside and swayed as he walked over to the largest muscular demon.

“Hey, sweet cheeks,” he giggled. “Whatcha doin’ later? I love me a man with a giant…tool.”

Vaggie facepalmed before marching over and dragging Angel Dust back inside the hotel.

“Hey!” Angel Dust protested. “I was just gettin’ started!”

0 0 0

Before long, the hole in the wall was almost fixed. The shadow demons posed by the wall as Charlie slumped down headfirst onto the couch in exhaustion.

Angel Dust scrolled through his phone. “Sooo, how’d it go?”

Vaggie sighed. “Not a single new recruit.”

Angel Dust shrugged. “Yeah well, who would wanna use their last days not fucking and fighting?”

Vaggie heard a knock on the front door. ‘Not Alastor again,’ she thought. She grabbed her spear and marched toward the door.

Vaggie opened it.

It was Sir Pentious.

Sir Pentious held his hat and titled his head.

“Why hellooo, my dear…”

Sir Pentious was cut off by Vaggie punching him in the face. He covered his face with his hands before tumbling to the rocky ground. Sir Pentious cowered as Vaggie aimed her spear at him.

“Wait, wait, wait!” cried Sir Pentious. “I come in peace.” He showed two peace signs with his fingers.

“What are you doing here?” Vaggie asked, suspicious.

“Vaggie, what’s the problem?” Charlie asked, appearing in the doorway. She gasped when she saw Sir Pentious. “Oh! Hello again!”

“I didn’t come looking for a fight,” Sir Pentious said as he stood up. “I heard this hotel was a safe place to stay at for the upcoming Extermination.”

“Then why did you attack it…twice?” Vaggie glared.

Sir Pentious folded his arms. “To get back at Alastor, of course!”

“Great job with that,” Vaggie replied with sarcasm.

“Look,” said Sir Pentious. “I had to endure a long walk all the way back here. I nearly got trampled with all the panic and chaos going on in the streets. I also heard that you’re…uh…helping people, people who want to be better?”

Charlie gasped in excitement. “You heard right!” She pulled him over toward the doors. “Welcome to our Home of Healing, our Resort of Restoration, our Inn of…Innovation!”

Angel Dust glared and blocked the entrance. “Are you fucking nuts?! This chump was trying to kill us like literally six hours ago! And now you wanna bring him in here to live with us?!”

“Absolutely!” said Charlie. “This place is about second chances, and who deserves one more than this slithery…slippery…special little man!” She elbowed Sir Pentious and he grinned nervously.

“Aren’t you supposed to protect this place?” Angel Dust asked Vaggie.

“Yes, I am,” said Vaggie. “Listen to me, Charlie, how many times will we have to watch your people be killed if we don’t make headway, defend ourselves right now, and send shady pricks like him away?”

“Please, Vaggie. Give him a chance just this once.” Charlie gave Vaggie round puppy-dog eyes, begging her to let Sir Pentious stay. Vaggie sighed and relented.

“I guess he’s not much of a threat without the war machine…” Vaggie relented. Sir Pentious lifted his head up in anticipation.

“…or even with the war machine.”

Sir Pentious’ cobra head flopped down in disappointment.

Charlie hugged Vaggie, lifting her around. “Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!” She let go and walked over to Sir Pentious. “Sir Pentious! Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!”

“Oh no darling! Thank you! You won’t regret this.”

Charlie led Sir Pentious into the hotel as Vaggie reluctantly followed. Angel Dust waved his hands dismissively and followed. “Eh, I give you a week, tops.”

Charlie led Sir Pentious through the parlor.

“So, this is the bar, and the bartender…”

Charlie did a snapping motion of her fingers toward an unamused Husk holding a bottle.

“This is the curtain…” Charlie mentioned to a pink-red curtain upstairs. She pointed around.

“…and this is the new wall after you broke the last one, heh, and oh! Oh! This is the…”

Vaggie grabbed Charlie’s arm. “Babe, you don’t have to show him every detail.”

“Sorry, I’m just so excited to have our first real guest!”

“Uh, what the Hell am I then?” Angel Dust snapped, shrugging.

Charlie turned to Angel Dust. “Well, you’re an important part of our family here, Angel, but you, uhm, uh…”

“Constantly make us look bad, sexually harass the staff, and have literally never once tried to improve?” Vaggie asked Angel Dust bluntly.

“What she means is…” Charlie cut in, “…its’ just nice to have someone interested for once.”

Angel Dust looked upset after what Vaggie had said.

Niffty played with KeeKee with a string. KeeKee hissed at the sight of Sir Pentious and ran off. Niffty turned around to meet him.

“Over here, we have our maid, Niffty,” Charlie introduced.

Niffty gasped in excitement. “The bad boy is back!”

Niffty climbed up and held Sir Pentious’ collar. He flinched back as Niffty stared at him with her giant eye and sharp sadistic smile. “Never leave me again!”

“We’re 80% sure she’s harmless,” Charlie mentioned as Niffty got down. “And over here we have…oh!”

Charlie nearly bumped into a familiar figure. “Uh, Alastor! Our gracious facility manager! You’ve met our newest guest Sir Pentious…hehe…” Charlie backed away nervously.

“Ah yes!” Alastor replied, with narrowed eyes at Sir Pentious. “You’re the one who ruined my coat!” His face turned shadowy and his eyes glowed red. He spoke in a sinister tone, “I definitely remember you now.”

Sir Pentious gulped in fear.

“Well,” Charlie said to Sir Pentious. “I guess this is a great time for your first lesson!” She cleared her throat. “’How to apologize!’ The first step to becoming a better person is to admit when you are wrong. Why don’t you give it a try?” She urged him forward.

“Yes, uhm…” Sir Pentious cleared his throat. “Mr. uhm, Radio Demon, sir, please forgive me for attacking you and ruining your very lovely coat…uhm, here.”

Sir Pentious handed back the small piece of fabric to Alastor. He took it in his hand. “Ah-ho! Not many people have been able to take even this much off me, it must have meant quite a lot to you.”

Alastor grinned and burned the piece of fabric in a green flame with his magic. Sir Pentious and Charlie stood stunned. KeeKee watched the commotion, lying on an upstairs gold railing decorated with eye designs.

The group soon gathered in front of the round fireplace. Charlie stood up, while the others sat down in various spots.

“Now, with a new resident, I think it’s important we all get to know each other! I’ve noticed there’s been a little…tension in the hotel. So, we are going to play a little game. Everyone, follow me.”

“Is this kindergarten or something?” Angel Dust rolled his eyes. Vaggie shrugged, not impressed with the activity, but deciding to follow Charlie along.

“My name is Charlie!” Charlie clapped twice. “I like to sing!” She clapped twice, “and when we get to know each other, it’s the greatest thing!” She clapped twice again. “Who wants to go next?”

“My name’s Sir Pentious.” He clapped twice. “I like to build,” he clapped twice. “…and despite my sssstupid Egg Bois, I think I’m very skilled!” He clapped twice, proud of himself.

Niffty raised her hand. “My name is Niffty!” She clapped. “I’m very swifty!” She clapped again. “I love to kill all the bugs in a jiffy!” She giggled and clapped again, holding her sewing needle weapon.

“Uh…great one, Niffty,” Charlie smiled a bit.

“My name is Vaggie,” she clapped twice. “I speak Spanish and fight.” She clapped twice. “I’ll make sure you don’t harm anyone here, or you won’t last the night.” She glared at Sir Pentious and clapped twice again. Sir Pentious chuckled nervously.

“That’s the spirit, Vaggie!” Charlie beamed. “Anyone else?”

Husk groaned in annoyance, after a long silence. “I am Husk.” He clapped twice. “I gamble and drink.” He clapped. “With the upcoming Extermination, these games are pointless, I think.” He clapped twice.

“Husk does have a good point,” Vaggie mentioned. “We are going to have to figure out how to defend ourselves when the angels come down here.”

“Yes, that’s true,” Charlie stuttered. “But…let’s focus on finishing the exercises first. Who’s next?”

Alastor talked in his radio voice without moving his mouth. “I am Alastor, I am a great radio host. I can’t wait to see which one of you will fail the most.” His eyes briefly turned to red radio dials against black and the background glitched.

“Enough of your creepiness, already!” Vaggie scoffed.

Charlie then mentioned to the last individual, Angel Dust.

“This is stupid,” he deadpanned.

“This is not stupid!” Charlie clapped twice, walking over to Angel Dust. “It’s just the game!” She clapped twice. “Everyone did it well, so please try to do the same!” She clapped twice.

“I’m too sober for this,” Angel Dust responded, hand to his face.

“Well, get used to it and learn to play, this is gonna be your whole day!” Vaggie clapped twice and grinned at the annoyed Angel Dust.

He sighed. “I’m Angel Dust.” He clapped twice. “I love killing, sex and…angel dust.” He clapped twice. “There is no one I trust.”

“Well, that’s something we can work on,” Charlie said.

“Forget it. I ain’t trustin’ no one.”

“Well, how about we work on it in our next session…”

She looked up and grinned. Razzle and Dazzle flew over and hung up a banner that read “Trusting 101” in blue paint near a stage. Charlie winked at Vaggie as they both stood up together in front of the group.

Charlie and Vaggie jumped in the air. “Trust exercises!” Vaggie repeated Charlie a few seconds after her and added, “Ah shit!” as they both fell on the floor. Charlie pulled Vaggie up and sighed. “Vaggie, we rehearsed this.” She then recovered and repeated, “We are doing trust exercises!”

Husk began, “So what’s with the whole, uhh, this?” He gestured to the Trusting 101 banner and stage behind Charlie and Vaggie. “I’m not about to put on some show for these fucking chumps.”

Angel Dust grinned, putting his feet on Husk’s legs. “Oh, I will, but it’s cash up front, and I know that one…” He pointed at Sir Pentious, “can’t afford me.”

Sir Pentious folded his arms in disgust. “Gross! I’d never think of it, ssspider!”

“Right, well let’s get started. Charlie?” Vaggie began.

Charlie moved to the front, clearing her throat. “We will start with trust falls! Each of you are going to share something vulnerable about yourself with the group, then fall backwards, while the rest of the group catches you. Got it? Who wants to go first?”

Vaggie raised her hand.

“Come on up!”

Vaggie stood on the stage. “Charlie is my girlfriend and…I’d do anything to make her dreams come true.”

“Aww,” Charlie smiled as she caught Vaggie in her arms. Charlie then released Vaggie and jumped onto the stage.

“I, I love you guys. Like really, really love you.” Charlie fell backwards and Vaggie caught her.

“Gotcha!” Vaggie smiled.

“That, felt, good! Angel, why don’t you go next?”

“Fine,” Angel Dust groaned. He walked onto the stage and faced the group. “Somethin’ about myself, huh? How about this? I LOVE to suck…”

Husk threateningly pointed a finger at Angel Dust. “I swear to fuck if you say ‘dicks’…!”

Angel Dust smirked. “Popsicles, ya sicko! Get your mind outta the gutter!”

He fell backward and Husk caught him.

“But, you know, dicks, too!” Angel Dust added. Husk dropped him abruptly and Angel Dust groaned, “Ow!”

“Your turn, Husk!” Charlie called after Angel Dust lifted himself up.

Husk slouched forward onto the stage. “Um…back when I was alive, I used to perform magic shows for kids.”

“Oh, how wonderful, Husk! Can you demonstrate…”

“Not now,” Husk growled. He fell backward and Angel Dust caught him.

“Sweet little Whiskers in my arms,” he giggled. Husk struggled out of Angel Dust’s arms and walked off.

Angel Dust looked over to Sir Pentious. “Alright, new guy, you’re up.”

Sir Pentious did a dramatic pose under the spotlight, tears in his eyes.

“I, I don’t want to live without my minions. Nobody catch me!” He fell backwards, landing in Charlie and Vaggie’s arms.

“Damn it,” Sir Pentious glowered.

“That’s great. Wow you are slimy,” Vaggie dropped Sir Pentious in disgust. “Okay, good job. Uh, Niffty?”

Niffty ran up onto the stage and giggled. “Sometimes I kill mother bugs in front of their children as a warning to others!”

Niffty flung herself off the stage and landed with a splat on her face as everyone moved back in horror. She lifted her arms in the air. “Yay! Pain!” She raced up and jumped again, but this time, Alastor caught her with one hand.

“Spectacular performance my dear!” He put her down and materialized onto the stage from shadow. He then spoke in his radio voice again, his smile glowing.

“When I was alive, I loved cooking jambalaya and venison with my lovely mama! She taught me singing, dancing, hunting…but I taught myself how to kill!”

The group stood in stunned silence. Angel Dust, Charlie, and Vaggie moved closer, but Alastor replied, “Touch me and I’ll rip your limbs off.”

He then fell backward off the stage…and into a black portal. He reappeared seconds later from the portal and posed, the background briefly glitching before the radio noises faded back to normal. He hummed and walked off.

Vaggie groaned. “I swear…this guy eludes everyone.”

The last social session was roleplaying. Angel Dust and Sir Pentious were on stage. In the audience, everyone except Charlie and Niffty looked bored and annoyed.

Angel Dust wore a gray trenchcoat and a brown hat with a black middle rim. Sir Pentious was happily licking a round pink lollipop with a yellow bow on the bottom, roleplaying an innocent boy wearing a white sailor suit.

Angel Dust read his lines in a monotone voice, the script in front of him. “’Oh, I’m a bad man on the streets who never got enough hugs, now, where’s an innocent kid I can sell crack to?’ Wow, who wrote this?!”

Charlie grinned. “It’s great, right? Keep going!”

Angel Dust turned away from Charlie and said the next line. “’Hey, you.’”

Sir Pentious faced Angel Dust. “’Who, me???’”

Angel Dust deadpanned. “’Yeah, you look like a kid who could use some…” he looked at the script drawn in crayon by Charlie: ‘devil’s dandruff??’ Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

Sir Pentious acted with enthusiasm. “’Not me! I have to go home and ssstudy!’”

Angel Dust deadpanned. “’Come on, kid, it’ll make you cool like me…the crackhead.’”

“Oh, this is shit,” muttered Husk.

Sir Pentious finished with a proud pose. “’The only cool thing here is to sssay no to drugs! Now if you’ll excussse me, I’m off to not have ssssexual intercourse before marriage!’”

A victory “da-da” fanfare tone played from Charlie’s phone. Charlie stood up and clapped. “Yes! Oh bravo! Bravo!” She chuckled and walked over to Sir Pentious. “Wow, Pentious! At this rate, you’ll be redeemed in no time!” Sir Pentious smiled at the positive compliment.

Angel Dust sighed, feeling left out. “I…I’m going to bed.” He began to climb up the winding stairs.

Charlie beamed. “I am so proud of you, Sir Pentious! That was amazing!”

Sir Pentious was amazed and did a little bow. “Thank you! Thank you! You like me! You really like me!”

Angel Dust went into his room and tossed his trenchcoat onto his pink pet pig Fat Nuggets. Fat Nuggets woke up and peered out from underneath. He had small black horns on his head and little black spikes along his back. He also had small eyes, a curly pointed tail, and a small red heart on his body and behind. Angel Dust took off his hat and sadly lay on his side on his bed, pink neon spider webs decorating the walls. He scrolled through the voicemails left by Valentino. The nice-sounding ones showed pink hearts, while the threatening ones had red spikes.

“Angel baby, come home! It’s not the same without you here, I miss you! Come back…”

“ANGEL, YOU BITCH! IF YOU DON’T COME HOME, YOU’LL BE FUCKING GREASY TRUCKERS FOR THE NEXT YEAR…”

“Hey, amorcito, I didn’t mean to yell, but you know how crazy you make me…”

“YOU FUCKING SLUT!”

“Hey, Angie, about earlier…”

“KILL YOUR WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY!”

“Work’s really stressful!”

“LITTLE COCKSUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!”

Valentino then spoke into his head, his hypnotic pink smoke spiraling around him.

“You actually think you can change? Addict trash like you doesn’t change. I’ll see you soon, baby.” The red smoke curled around his chin and disappeared.

Angel Dust sighed and stood up. “Sorry, not now, Fat Nuggets. Fat Nuggets oinked in concern as he watched Angel Dust leave. Angel Dust grabbed a bottle of alcohol from the bar and gulped it down as he walked. It was one of the few ways to numb all the pain.

0 0 0

The next morning, KeeKee the cat purred and slept peacefully on the red sofa. The cat woke up and jumped off. Charlie stood on a ladder as Razzle and Dazzle helped her hang up a banner. The banner read in dark teal: “HAPPY FIRST WEEK, SIR PENTIOUS!” with a drawing of a yellow snake off to the side.

“That looks perfect! Aah!” Charlie gasped in excitement. “I am so excited that Sir Pentious is staying at the hotel!”

“Um, Pentious was just trying to take over the city with his weird steampunk bullshit a few days ago,” Vaggie reminded her from below.

“Well, I haven’t seen him try to pull any of that here,” Charlie responded as she climbed down.

Meanwhile, five Egg Boiz were riding on a giant steampunk cannon in purple and gold that had gears inside of it. The weapon was being wheeled inside the room by Sir Pentious.

Vaggie had her hands on her hips. “What the hell is that?”

“Oh hello, gray moth female,” Sir Pentious smiled, lowering his top hat and taking a small bow. The Egg Boiz jumped off. “It’s my new invention, the Skin Flayer 11,000! I’m really looking forward to shooting the other residents!” He bore a mischievous sharp grin, leaning against his machine and posing with his arms folded.

“What? Why?” Charlie asked, surprised, and concerned.

Sir Pentious narrowed his eyes. “Everyone is being too nice. Obviously, it must be a lie. I can sense that they are planning to kill me, but when? How? I must be prepared!” Then he brightened. “Ooh, the new parts of my machine are here.”

Two demons came in. Clara had dark skin, red eyes, thick white curly hair, and black curved horns. She wore a dark skirt and skirt and wheeled in weapons in crates labeled “Carmine.” Odette strolled in wearing red round glasses, and a white lab coat with a high collar with black trim and black gloves. Her skin was white, as was her hair, which was in a ponytail. She also had black horns. Odette and Clara were the daughters of Carmilla Carmine, the leading weapons dealer in Hell, including angelic ones.

“Sign, please,” Odette told Sir Pentious, holding out a clipboard. He happily took the pen and signed the form.

“Thank you for your business. Enjoy your Carmine purchase,” Odette told Sir Pentious. The two daughters left the lobby, while Sir Pentious happily wheeled in the crates.

Vaggie seethed. “Carmine? As in Carmilla Carmine? You’re buying parts from an Overlord?!”

“Uh, of course,” said Sir Pentious. “She’s the top weapons dealer in Hell.”

“Okay, well that stops right now.”

Vaggie rushed over and wheeled the boxes away.

“Hey!” Sir Pentious protested.

“You absolutely cannot build weapons in this hotel,” Vaggie chided. “No one is trying to kill you. People are being nice because they want you to feel welcome.”

Sir Pentious scoffed. “Oh, really?” He glanced over at Vaggie’s death glare, at Husk flipping him the bird, at Angel Dust flipping him the bird, at Alastor’s red eyes plotting a way to brutally hurt him and Niffty eyeing him with a sinister giggle while dusting a corner of a wall.

“Hmm. I have my doubts.”

“Well, it’s true. You have to trust us,” said Vaggie.

“Well, I don’t. Especially coming from the one who has a spear aimed at me.”

Vaggie sighed at the spear in her hands and muttered. “Well…it sounded more convincing when Charlie told me to say all this to you.”

Sir Pentious hmphed. “I know you don’t believe I’m trustworthy either. Leave it to your girlfriend to do all your things for you.”

Vaggie fumed. “Says the idiot who has eggs as minions and can’t even act cool for your Overlord idols.”

Sir Pentious hissed in anger until Charlie broke up the fight.

“Well then, why don’t we focus on trust for today’s activities?” Charlie asked.

“We already did the trust falls yesterday,” Angel Dust groaned. “I can’t take any more of that.”

“I’m with you on that,” Husk muttered from the bar.

“Do you always stay at that bar 24/7?” Angel Dust asked. “Like, I haven’t seen you leave that spot for much of…”

Husk gave him a glare…Angel Dust shrugged and went back to his cell phone scrolling.

“Before we do anything else, we lay some ground rules,” said Vaggie. “No more building weapons, no more plotting against other guests…”

Vaggie glared as Sir Pentious was about to fire a small ray gun at Niffty, who he had wrapped with his tail. He smiled apologetically and let Niffty go.

“…and you need to get rid of these things,” said Vaggie mentioning to the Egg Boiz. Two of the eggs had a tug of war over one of the lasers. They accidentally fired it, and the blast created a hole in the ceiling. “Uh-oh,” mouthed one of the eggs.

“Oh!” Vaggie snapped, pointing up in anger. “What did I just say? What did I just say?!”

“What? Not my little Egg Boiz!” Sir Pentious cried, pulling them close in a hug. “They do my evil bidding for me!”

“Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself?”

Sir Pentious narrowed his eyes at Vaggie. “Yes.”

“Then no more eggs. And no more weapons.”

“Wait! Can I perhaps…keep my Egg Boiz and weapons safe in my room the whole time?”

Vaggie glanced at Charlie who gave her wide puppy dog eyes again. Vaggie rolled her eyes and waved a threatening finger at Sir Pentious.

“One sound from you and all your things go.”

Sir Pentious smiled at Charlie and looked down at his minions. “All right, eggies. You’ve got to stay in my room or else…I can’t keep you anymore!”

“Okay, boss,” said one of the eggs.

“And clean my quarters this instant!” Sir Pentious demanded as the eggs headed upstairs. Vaggie wheeled the boxes away and Charlie awkwardly pat his shoulder.

Charlie soon felt exhausted as she once again tried to recruit more Sinners from outside. But many of them mocked her, saying things like, “Alastor showed that place as a dump on his commercials!” Or “The king of Hell is a depressed loser. Why should we waste our time with his daughter who dreams up fantasies for attention?” Vaggie managed to pull Charlie back inside before things got too heated.

0 0 0

In Charlie’s small office, Charlie and Vaggie talked quietly. Angel Dust was in his room on his phone with Fat Nuggets, Husk was at the bar, Niffty was hunting for bugs and Alastor was eating his venison dinner in his room, listening to jazz on his radio.

“This is hopeless,” Charlie sighed. “I thought that after Sir Pentious arrived, more Sinners would want to come in. Surely, they must be desperate.”

“Well to be fair, this place still looks pretty dilapidated,” Vaggie mentioned. “And maybe lots of Sinners feel safer…in their own homes?”

Charlie lowered her head. “What if Angel Dust and Alastor are right? What if no one wants to redeem themselves?” She panicked, tears in her eyes. “I’ll never be able to run this hotel in time for the Extermination! Everyone thinks I’m a fool! And my dad and mom aren’t even here to support me!”

Vaggie put a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. “You’ll do fine. You still believe Sir Pentious can do it, right?”

“Yes…I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Vaggie, how will he fix his mistakes if he’s stuck up in his room all the time? He has to come down and eventually talk about his problems.”

“You can’t force people to admit their mistakes,” Vaggie told her. “Much of the time, they aren’t even aware of their actions. Take Angel for example. He numbs his daily pain through drugs and alcohol. It has become such a habit for him that he doesn’t even think about it. With Sir Pentious…” She sighed. “…it’s the killing. That’s one reason why sending him upstairs was perhaps the next best thing for now…”

“While I’ll admit the killing part’s not good, he could perhaps learn to use his weapons for something more…productive?”

Vaggie folded her arms, coming up with an idea, her eyes then brightening a bit. “If perhaps I could train him to build weapons to defend the hotel against the upcoming Extermination…”

“I keep forgetting about that,” Charlie groaned.

Vaggie put her hand to her face. “I just don’t want him to hurt anyone else at the hotel. Especially you.” She looked into Charlie’s eyes, hands on her shoulders. “Be careful around him, Charlie. I know you like seeing the good in people, but…” she glanced off. “We may have to send him away if he decides to betray us. It takes years to unlearn toxic habits and beliefs.”

“He won’t do that!” Charlie assured her. “I think he just needs some praise and appreciation…from the right people!”

“An alcoholic spider, a psychotic radio showman, a gambler cat, and a shady maid…I don’t know if your people qualify as the right kind…”

“Don’t forget another Sinner like you,” Charlie said. “No offence.”

Vaggie briefly touched her back, glancing at her Exorcist spear. “Yeah, sure…”

“Let’s give him a chance,” Charlie said. “I’m sure he’ll stay in his room and not cause any trouble.”

“Okay, then,” Vaggie said. “But I still have a bad feeling…”

Neither woman noticed a hidden blue square camera from within the nearby bookshelf, recording the whole thing.

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Part Two

A panicking Charlie showed up on screen, the video soon going viral. “What if Angel Dust and Alastor are right? What if no one wants to redeem themselves? I’ll never be able to run this hotel in time for the Extermination! Everyone thinks I’m a fool! And my dad and mom aren’t even here to support me!”

A sinister chuckle echoed from the darkness. A pair of red eyes appeared against the black.

“Well, well, well…looks like the little princess brat is not so high and mighty now. All those rumors about her so called ‘Hazbin Hotel,’ and this view from the inside only proves her incompetence! My ratings will skyrocket after broadcasting this.”

A row of glowing white shark teeth appeared. “I can see the headline, ‘Princess’ Passion Project Plumets.’ Perfect! My little spy is doing better than I expected. Once her hotel is disbanded, I shall be praised for preventing the loss of Sinner souls from Hell for the Overlords…not that she ever had a chance to begin with!”

Electricity sparked as demonic laughter erupted. “Oh, how fun it’ll be to manipulate the masses further from the fresh fear of the Extermination! So many Sinners desperate to buy my products! So many delicious souls to collect! Only one thing shall vibrate in their ears… ‘Trust the Vees with your safety and money!’”

The lights blinked on, showing the Overlord Vox, the TV headed demon sitting in his throne-like chair, surrounded by glowing monitors and screens all around him. He tapped the arm of his chair with his fingers. Wires were attached to the back of his flat screen head, giving him more power, and allowing him to broadcast many shows at once. He wore a black suit with teal stripes and a large red bowtie. He had a black top hat with red tipped antennae at the top and teal lines at the bottom that looked like electricity. A black dot and two curves were under his bowtie, looking like TV waves. His shirt collar was teal with red trim. His gloves were dark with teal tips.

Vox was showing the videos from the Hazbin Hotel and advertising a drone at the same time. Vox posed at his desk on a separate screen with an image of the Hazbin Hotel, with “Wow, this is shit!” underneath it in red.

“Breaking news! Charlie’s so-called Hazbin Hotel project is going just as we expected…an utter failure. Here is a live look at what really goes on in that tacky dump. Here you see a princess who…” He chuckled as Charlie’s face appeared on screen, “…has no clue what she’s doing. We have some porn star spider of Valentino’s there, probably looking for crack. We have a drunken cat with wings, some moth chick, a steampunk snake, and a crazed maid. How’s that for redemption! Looks like Charlie needs to see her dear old depressed dad more often…they could cry together as more Sinners fall in the Extermination.” Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench laughed on a separate screen. “What say you, Katie?”

“I mean come on,” Katie Killjoy added. “I’d expect the princess of Hell to not be such a childish wimp! And what’s with the clown makeup on her face and all that red clothing? She looks like a pin-up doll from the circus! Oh look, she’s watching this now and she’s crying!”

Vox laughed as the camera panned to reveal Angel Dust showing Charlie Vox’s video from his cell phone.

“Well, if the doll has a hot spot somewhere, then perhaps I could…” Tom Trench began.

Katie Killjoy poured hot coffee on Tom Trench’s crotch and then shoved him aside. “No one fucking cares about you, Tom!” She smiled back at the camera. “Back to you, Mr. Vox!”

“We’ll be right back to discuss Charlie’s utter delusions after these messages.”

The screen shifted to show a gray drone with the V logo on it, a teal-white V shaped like electricity against red TV waves. “The Vees and VoxTek Enterprises are proud to present our latest product! New VoxTek designer voyeur scopes, peeping on the neighbors has never been more stylish. VoxTek, trust us with your money!”

A crowd of hypnotized demons barged into the store to buy the gadgets.

Another commercial flashed.

“Calling all Sinners! Are you scared for your afterlives about the upcoming Extermination in six months?! Fear no more, friends and fiends, for your safety may just be a click away. Introducing the new VoxTek Angelic Security System coming soon!” The Vox logo appeared now golden with angel wings. “This handy VDX (Vox Directional Xtreme) system will alert you to any Exorcist angel in the area, pointing you to the safest places to hide. Handy for Sinners and Hellborn alike, and only 66 souls a month. Upload the app to your phone and start your premium free trial today!”

And many more…

“This week’s episode of “Yeah, I Fucked Your Sister, So What?” is brought to you by VoxTek, trust us with your entertainment!”

“Trust us…trust us…trust us…..”

Vox laughed evilly as more electricity sparked around him and the mechanical “trust us,” chant grew. “Muhahahaha! Now that’s good television!” The teal line in his larger left eye moved like a wire and the black lines moved like hypnotic circles as more consumers got hypnotized, their eyes turning red and black with hypnotic circles as they watched Vox’s programs. More screens spied on everyday demons on their cell phones and laptops, allowing Vox an advantageous view of Pentagram City. He relaxed in his chair as he drank his morning coffee. Swimming around him in water from the outside were neon demon sharks of various kinds.

Vox was just about to launch another commercial when he spotted something odd. It was coming from a screen that showed the exterior of the Hazbin Hotel. Vox hit replay and it showed a glitching figure walking away after Sir Pentious’ zeppelin got destroyed. Vox had also noticed this glitching figure appear a few times in the shadows in several of the recorded videos from the camera. He paused it and it showed the figure tall with red hair and a red suit.

“Wait…” Vox breathed. “Clearly that can’t be…”

He peered closer. The figure was holding a microphone cane. No other individual could glitch themselves in his videos…

No one, but one.

Vox’s head fizzled in electricity, and he gripped the surface in front of him so hard that his nails made scratch marks.

“That FUCKER is back!” Vox cried in realization. “He was at that hotel with Lucifer’s daughter…and it’s been seven years!”

The Radio Demon was back all right. Vox and Alastor had been rivals for years. Many years ago, Vox heard of Alastor’s unique power and thought he would make a good addition to the Vees. After all, an Overlord able to easily take down so many others…on the Vees team! They would’ve been unstoppable.

But alas, stubborn in his ways, Alastor stuck to the old technology and pursued his enigmatic goals while Vox and his gang endlessly chased trends and updated their powers as society changed.

“The nerve of him to just show up so randomly!” Vox thought. “I thought he was gone for good! He almost beat me, thinking he’s so smug.”

Then Vox grinned at the excitement of a fresh challenge. “It’s been a while since I had some competition. Yes…things have changed a lot since he left town! I gotta send a message of who’s REALLY in charge of things now!”

Vox chuckled and sang.

“Welcome home!

I’m gonna make you wish that you stayed gone!

Say hello to a new status quo

Everyone knows that there’s a brand new dawn,

Turn the TV OOOONNN!”

Vox surged with power as more wires connected to the back of his head after he pressed a button. He spread out his arms as the screens in front of him blinked to life and flickered under his command. The floor below him lit up with white neon wires and electronic designs.

A demon director announced, “Camera, speeds, rolling in three, two…”

Several demons held hanging microphones as square light cameras blinked on next to them. A grinning gray demon wearing a blue jacket with a white collar was operating a film camera with two pink eyes at the top of it.

“Welcome to the show!” chanted a choir.

“BREAKING NEWS” appeared on TV screens against a glowing orange pentagram on a red moon. Vox turned around at his desk, the 666News logo in the teal background. The subtitles read at the bottom: “BREAKING: UNREMARKABLE LOSER BACK FROM FUCKING OFF.” An artist rendering showed a crude stick figure of Alastor with bloodstains on it. The labels pointing to various parts of the drawing read, “gross hoof foot,” “lame stick,” “dildo?” “Smelly probably,” “furry,” “dumb hair,” and “triangle ass.”

More captions moved at the bottom: “SO THE RADIO GUY’S BACK. I DON’T THINK YOU NOTICED. I DIDN’T AT FIRST. I WAS TOO BUSY BEING A MUCH MORE INTERESTING AND IMPORTANT PERSON. BUT FUCK IT. NEWS TODAY IS SLOW I GUESS. I’M TOTALLY NOT WORRIED ABOUT THIS GUY AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU BE. I TOTALLY WRECKED HIS SHIT LAST TIME HE TRIED ME.”

Vox happily announced. “Top of the hour and we’re discussing a certain has-been who has been spotted cavorting around town after a seven-year absence. Did anybody miss him? Did anybody notice?” Vox shoved the drawing away. “More on tonight’s program!”

On another screen, Vox appeared and spun around on a tall chair at a desk. The desk had a “VOX-NITE” logo on the front of it. The wall had the Vox wire logo and an array of round stage lights around it. Lounging on a white sofa was another Vox wearing neon yellow shutter sunglasses. He held a dark gray mug with a teal V line and “FUCK ALASTOR” was in red on it.

“So, the Radio Demon is back in town!” announced the first Vox.

“Why is he hanging around?” asked the second Vox.

“What does that mean for your family?” asked the first Vox to the audience. “Well, handily, I’ve got good news!”

Vox appeared on another screen in front of red curtains, beginning his rap.

“He’s a loser, a fossil, and I don’t mean to sound hostile…

But the demon is a coward!”

Vox appeared on many TV screens, with “OBEY-N-PAY” in bold gold letters on the screen. Vox was cosplaying as a priest wearing red robes with teal trim. The stained-glass windows behind him were red with purple Vox Vs, and his pope hat was red with an upside-down white cross on it. He stood at a podium with his logo on it.

“You can take that as gospel!”

Vox then posed with 3D glasses on and a bag of popcorn in his hand and a remote in his other hand.

“Pulling my viewers? Impossible!”

A hanging microphone was next to him.

“I’m visual, he’s barely audible!

Stop giving him the time of day!”

Vox then grinned on another screen with a tropical background. There was a palm tree with coconuts, an ocean, an orange sky, and an erupting volcano. Vox wore a white suit with a white sailor hat and a pink lei with yellow hearts on it. He held an iced martini glass with a purple umbrella in it, a lemon slice, and a purple straw in the shape of a V.

“Don’t listen to a word he’d say!

I hope he had a nice vacay!”

The volcano exploded and the screen turned white. He ripped off his sailor costume, revealing his usual outfit. His face appeared on more screens as he loomed over the audience of demon watchers.

“But he should’ve stayed away!”

“While he hid in radio,

We pivoted to video!

And now his medium is getting bloody rare!”

Vox appeared in a chef’s costume and pulled out a severed bloody black and red deer’s head from an oven. Red blood stained the white tile walls, oven, and counter. Vox held the head on a plate as “VENISON WITH VOX!” appeared to the side, a red arrow pointing to “VOX.”

Vox then posed in the hallway.

“Hell’s been better since he split.

Where’s he been?”

Vox chuckled. “Who gives a shit?!”

Alastor had just stepped out of the tailor shop, pleased with his repaired coat. He glanced over and saw Vox mocking him on all the TVs. He sneered and walked with a newfound purpose back to the hotel. He wasn’t going to let that arrogant ass get in the way of the hotel…or his plans. He was soon back up in his radio tower, holding his magic microphone cane near his mouth. He sat on a flat couch with a pillow of eyes behind him. His coat rack was made of deer antlers and a microphone was in the shape of a red pentagram. In front of him were papers, knobs, and a red cup of coffee. A lamp with eyes on the stand was lit on a side table and a few bayou cattail plants were spaced out through the studio. A few rugs covered the wood floor.

Even after many years, his power still worked! “ON AIR” blinked to life in neon red letters over the tower.

“Salutations!” came Alastor’s smoother cadence singing. His voice was heard on all the radios and speakers in the city. “Good to be back on the air!”

More demons leaned to the left toward the red shop section labeled “Old Crap” with a radio on a table. The bottom of the radio was decorated with sharp white teeth, making a monstrous face. Vox glared from his TV screens. Shadowy arms appeared in the small room and operated the old-fashioned radio on a purple cushion. Several demons watched: a blue demon wearing Egyptian garb, a pink demon with a white tank top, a demon with one eye and a clock head, a teal-gray cat with bat wings, a green female mummy, a purple and white fox, a reptile demon, among others.

“Yes, I know it’s been a while since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast.”

Vox and Alastor then engaged in a heated rap.

“Sinners rejoice!”

“What a dated voice!” Vox snapped.

Alastor continued. “Instead of a clout chasing mediocre video podcast.”

“COME ON!” Vox yelled.

Alastor grinned. “Is Vox insecure? Pursuing allure?

Flitting between this fad and that?

Is nothing working?”

Vox fumed. “IGNORE HIS CHIRPING!”

Alastor smirked, “Everyday he’s got a new format!”

Vox fired back, the screen showing five various Vox faces (including priest Vox and sailor Vox) glaring at Alastor in the center. “YOU’RE LOOKING AT THE FUTURE!

He’s the shit that comes before that!”

Alastor sang, smoother and slower than Vox, his voice coming from more circles of speakers on high poles near the Vee tower. Several demons looked at each other, questioning Vox’s motives.

“Is Vox as strong as he purports?

Or is it based on his support?

He’d be powerless without the other Vees!”

In the Vee tower, Valentino and Velvette smiled evilly at each other as they imagined themselves overthrowing Vox and ruling their own territories. Their cell phones were in their hands, Valentino’s had a moth on it and Velvette’s had a < 3 on it, a large sideways V making a heart icon.

“OH PLEASE!” Vox argued.

Alastor grinned wider. “And here’s the sugar on the cream…

He asked ME to join his team!”

“Hold on!” Vox protested.

“I said no, and now he’s pissy! That’s the tea!”

A furious Vox teleported himself as electricity to the radio in the shop. Vox teleported to Alastor who was lounging on his couch. A blue screen appeared on Vox’s face, flashing white error messages as he glitched and fizzed.

(“A problem has been detected and Vox has been shut down to prevent damage to his systems. The problem seems to be caused by the following file: Alastor.EXE. Vox EXE. Crash – error- eat shit Alastor. Check to make sure all software and hardware is up to date and properly installed. Ask Vox for any VoxTek updates you might need. If problems continue (fuck you, Alastor) please disable or remove any Alastor from the general vicinity. If you need to use “unsafe mode,” reset your VoxTek device or press F6 and select “advanced startup options,” then select “unsafe mode.” Technical information: Stop: AlastorEXE. Old timey prick radio.”)

Vox raged; his fangs bared. “You old-timey PRICK! I’ll show you suffering!”

Vox teleported back to his TV room in the Vee Tower. His screen flashed in rainbow bands and he glitched some more.

Alastor chuckled. “Uh oh, the TV is buffering!”

Vox’s circuits overloaded with electricity as his anger rose.

“I’LL DESTORY YOOOOU YOU LITTLE…”

His signal briefly broke up. He let out an outburst that briefly overloaded and shut down everything in Pentagram City. Velvette’s hair and Valentino’s outfit got sizzled as they sat together in the dark in stunned silence.

“I’m afraid you’ve lost your signal!” Alastor finished in triumph as the pentagram-shaped city blinked into blackness.

No light was visible, save for the eerie red light coming from Alastor’s radio tower.

“Let’s begin.”

“I’m gonna make you wish that I stayed gone!”

His red eyes turned black, save for small red circles. Thick black antlers branched from his head.

“Tune on in.”

He placed his microphone to the side.

He morphed further into his demonic form as he stood up. His long neck extended outward, his yellow fangs growing longer and sharper.

“When I’m done…

Your status quo will know its race is run!”

With a sinister close-up grin, his eyes turned into hypnotic red radio dials. A red x was in the center of his forehead, the fatal gunshot spot where a hunter had killed him on Earth. He sang in a low sinister tone.

“Oh, this will be fun!”

He finished with a chilling evil laugh. “Muhahahahahaha!”

After Alastor’s shadowy figure appeared on the screen, Vox’s signal was cut off and “no signal” appeared on the screens in front of him.

“FUUUCK!” a dismayed Vox cried in the darkness. It took half an hour to restore the power.

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After Vox recovered and the power was restored, his screen head vibrated. “Velvette is calling” with her icon on top appeared, a clown horn ringtone. Vox tapped his screen and his face reappeared. He snapped his fingers and electricity zoomed into the screen across from him.

Velvette appeared on the screen; her eyes narrowed. Her face was dark gray, and she wore skull earrings. She wore a pink frilly dress, striped fingerless gloves, and a short black sleeveless jacket with three pink hearts on it. Her hair was pink, with a streak of swirly white and gray in a thick ponytail.

“Hello there, Velvette!” said Vox. “How are you this hellish morning?”

“Oh, cut the shit, Vox. I need you up here now!”

Vox drank from another cup of coffee. “Whatever could be the problem, my dear?”

“Your little boy toy is wrecking my apartment, while I’m trying to pull together a show and…”

Velvette looked panicked as Valentino was heard cussing in the background and throwing items. Several demon workers ran in the background in chaos.

“FUCKING BITCH!” Valentino yelled.

Velvette yelled at Vox. “Just get your ass here! NOW!” She glared off to the side. “Damn it, Valentino!” The screen buzzed off.

Vox sighed, stood up and fixed his bowtie, an annoyed expression on his face. “Oh god, here I go, Valentino. Just another day fucking day with Val…and now Al. Hey, hey, hey. Fuck my life.”

He stood on a round platform with the V logo on it and it rose. An elevator with a smiling Vox with “trust us” opened to reveal a frowning Vox. Several posters advertised a Vox television device costing $9,000 and a “Velvette Love Potion.” Vox put on a smile for a crowd of reporters in the next room. They rushed at him with microphones out.

A demon woman reporter called, “Mr. Vox! What are your thoughts about the new Extermination deadline?”

“My dear people! We at VoxTek Enterprises have always been at the forefront of innovation. And now, with this new oncoming threat, we are shifting focus to your protection. We are pleased to announce…VoxTek Angelic Security is coming soon! Trust us, with Your safety!” The gold V logo with wings appeared on a screen.

Vox hypnotized the reporters with his eyes.

“Uh sir,” said Vox’s manager. His face was light gray, his short hair was teal and black, and he wore red glasses. A clipboard was in his hands, and he wore a red suit. “When did we begin working on Angelic Security?”

“Since I already aired the commercial about it earlier.” He walked off. “Try to get that bitch Carmilla on the books and cancel all my appointments today. I have a fire to put out upstairs and an emergency meeting about a certain radio demon.” Vox materialized into electricity and traveled up through a security camera.

Meanwhile, Velvette’s studio was in disarray. More demons were running around screaming. Several outfits were scattered on the floor and bloodstains were present on the floor and windows. Velvette stood her composure, strolling over to four demon female designers who stood by three tall mirrors, standing on violet rugs with Velvette’s logo on them.

“Ugh,” Velvette mentioned in disgust to a female demon with purple hair, showing her a red dress.

“No,” Velvette commented to a pink serpent showing her red overalls against a purple sweater.

“Unacceptable,” Velvette added to a blonde demon showing her a gray dress.

“You’re fired!” Velvette remarked to a pink demon with thick curly red hair and two front braids. Velvette held the outfit which had purple and white stripes on it. “What is this? WRIST RUFFLES?! Is this 1750? Burn it like the witches who wore it!”

Velvette sent the designers away as Vox materialized behind her from electricity. Vox waved a hand, and flames from various plugged devices went out.

“Velvette! I can see you’re busy. Tell me, where’s our hot-headed friend now?”

“Up in his room, waiting for a flat-faced prince to calm him down!” Velvette barked, hand to her face.

Vox sighed. “And uh, what’s got him so out of sorts today?”

“Who knows?!” Velvette said. “But he tore up my best model! And you know the show can’t wait for that unlucky bitch to pull herself back together!” A cyclops carried the remains of a demon.

Velvette tossed the remains of a pink gloved hand in the air. “Melissa! Get over here!”

A slender female demon stood nervous, wearing long maroon pants and a red shirt. Velvette snapped her fingers and various dresses magically appeared on her.

“No…” The woman wore torn dark jeans and a purple shirt with white hearts on it.

“No…” She wore black leggings and a short magenta dress with purple frills over her shoulders.

“Hideous…” She had on a short gray skirt with a red bowtie on it, a cream-colored shirt, and a long red coat.

“I want to die…Ew…” Now she wore a short red dress and black collar.

Velvette gasped. “Yes! That’s the one!” She smiled at a poofy red-pink dress with white hearts on it and a black trim on the bottom.

“Well since it looks like you’ve got everything under control here, you need to come to an urgent Radio Demon meeting once you’re…”

Velvette seethed at Vox. “Of course, I do! I don’t have time for any meetings right now. Fuck you! Now shoo!” She flipped him the bird. “Take care of the piss, baby!” She turned to her cell phone.

Vox groaned and headed upstairs. Two pink servant demons with long lavender and white hair and feathers on their heads held open the double doors for Vox. They wore black leggings and red shirts with white hearts on them, their hair looking like moth wings.

Vox was inside and the doors closed behind him. The room was filled with pink smoke. There was a couch, a table with a Venus Fly Trap plant, and a large flat screen TV.

Valentino sat up with fury in his eyes, “Fucking FINALLY!” He smashed a drink and turned to the side. “Kitty! Another drink!” The Robo-Fizz zoomed off and reappeared with another drink. Valentino stood up, wearing his robe of red-pink, the white fluffy collar decorated with red hearts. The pimp lord had hidden moth wings, pink sunglasses with yellow trim shaped like hearts and a tall red top hat with a black and white striped middle. One of his antennae on his head was smaller, lacking the white feathery part.

“Ugh!” yelled Valentino. “Can you believe what that piece of shit did? THE UNGRATEFUL WHORE!”

He tossed the drink at Vox. He moved out of the way as the drink smashed against the doors. A nearby poster showed an erotic picture of Valentino posing shirtless.

“Val,” Vox said. “You need to come with me to my meeting about Alastor…”

Valentino, in his anger, wasn’t paying attention. “STUPID WHORE!”

“Uh, which whore are we talking about this time?” Vox asked, clearly bored.

“Fucking Angel Dust! Who the hell else would I be talking about?! That fucking SLUT walked out on me! ME! I fucking made him!” He walked toward the window. “Without me, he’s just a little bag of meat with some mildly entertaining holes.”

“Oh. Angel quit?”

“NO! He didn’t fucking quit! It’s worse! He MOVED!”

He tossed Vox’s phone to the wall, making it shatter in half. Vox waved a hand and the phone repaired itself.

“He thinks he can just walk in here, work, and then go home somewhere else. Can you FUCKING believe that?!” He walked to the closet. “He thinks he can run off and shack up with Lucifer’s BIMBO daughter!”

Vox sighed. “I already know he’s living with Lucifer’s daughter. I saw the people at the hotel on video.”

“YEAH! That princesa bitch Chuckie or Chandler, or I dunno. Something mannish like that. She’s got this hotel and…”

Valentino turned around, holding up two revolvers. “Which of these makes me look sexier?”

Vox glared at him. “What are you doing, Val? You’re not going over there.”

Valentino loaded his guns. “That slippery twink is gonna remember who owns him. I’m gonna FUCK everyone in that rancid shithole I swear to Satan!”

“VAL!” Vox’s distorted voice boomed in his face as Vox’s eye did the hypnotizing motions. He grabbed his collar. “Hehe. Think about it.” He led Valentino toward the windows. “Our brand is perfection. And what do you think chasing whores around town will do for our image?”

“Uh…fuck it up?”

“Right! Do you want people thinking you can’t control your employees?”

“No!”

“Exactly! And hey, you still have him under contract. He isn’t going anywhere! So…you should…”

“Do nothing?”

“No. You should come with me to an urgent meeting. Following my lead…” he pinched Valentino’s cheeks. “Now that’s why they pay you big bucks.”

“Ugh. But I really wanted to shoot someone.”

Vox lit up Valentino’s cigarette holder with his electricity powers.

“Well, lemme call up the lowest earners this month for you to kill.”

Valentino smirked, blowing pink-red hearts from his long cigarette. “Oh, you know me too well.”

Vox sighed. “Now if we’re finally done here, the three of us need to talk about Alastor.”

“Oh, he really is back, huh?”

“Yes! I was going to tell you, but you were yapping on and on. I swear once I get my hands on that radio bitch…”

“Hey,” Valentino shrugged. “Killing Alastor is your kink, not mine.”

“Come on, Val!” Vox snapped, dragging him along. “We’re all meeting up right now!”

In the meeting room, a pink and white jester Robo-Fizz named Kitty placed a glass of wine onto the table. In a large tank around them swam several sharks with neon colors and code numbers on them. They served as Vox’s pets of sorts (He loved feeding disobedient demons to them). The three villainous Vees sat at a round table.

“We have a problem,” Vox began. “Alastor has returned after a seven-year absence, putting my entertainment brand in a conflict. He is also getting close to little princess Morningstar, so our main concern now is ensuring that no deal is ever struck between Lucifer’s BRAT…” He slammed the table with a fist… “and that smiling freak. If it does, they could team up against us. Sinners leaving Hell means less souls and power for us. We need to keep up a steady stream of chaos so more people will be desperate enough to let us influence them.”

“Quick question,” Valentino asked, giving Velvette a gleam. “Shouldn’t I be the main leader of all this? I mean, my Porn Studio is the biggest.”

“How about me? I’m the youngest,” said Velvette. “And more people are into social media than ever before.”

Vox folded his arms. “We’ve been over this. I arrived in Hell first and both of you depend on my TV services for your advertisements. Besides, we are more or less equal.” Vox leaned into Valentino, his red eye moving hypnotically, his voice low. “Aren’t we?”

“Yes, Vox,” said Valentino. Velvet narrowed her eyes.

“Good,” Vox smirked, pulling back.

“Well, how exactly are we supposed to stop it?” Velvette asked.

Valentino was putting glue on his revolver, decorating it with glitter and marbles.

“Put something inside them. That’s how I get the bitches to behave.”

Vox rolled his eyes. “Literally fucking others is your specialty. Mine is media manipulation. And Velvette’s is love potions and persuading. This is different. We’re dealing with two powerful people.”

“I meant sending in a spy,” said Valentino.

“Oh, I already did that earlier today. I was checking on their progress when I was interrupted by that radio prick.”

“Is it Angel?” asked Velvette.

“That lanky prick won’t return my calls,” Valentino explained. “I’d kill him like the other demons behind on their payments if he wasn’t so popular and useful.”

“It would be someone Little Miss Bleeding Heart would take in,” Velvette added. “Someone pathetic, desperate with no direct ties to us.”

“I employ every down on their luck loser this side of Hell. Who the fuck is left?” Valentino asked.

Vox scoffed. “I think…I have just the one!” His eye did a hypnotizing gleam and the two sharks moved in to pose behind him. He then pulled from his pocket and placed down on the table…

…an old black and white photo of Sir Pentious.

“Huh?” Velvette and Valentino asked, peering to get a closer look.

Vox grinned. “Genuis isn’t it? This Overlord was so desperate to get praise from us that he was standing outside the Vee tower. He was calling out, ‘Vox! Vox! Notice me!’ He was all tired and was claiming that he was making a long journey back to a certain hotel. What a happy coincidence!”

“What happened next?” Valentino asked, blowing pink smoky hearts from his long cigarette.

“I came out of the tower and was all like, ‘Hey there random citizen! I’ve been curious about the princess’ rehabilitation project. Would you take this camera and digital watch and report back to me?’ And the fool agreed!” Vox laughed. “He had gotten beaten badly from his fall all the way to this part of town, so I healed him and sent him on his way. So then, he was able to get a video of Morningstar crying about how she couldn’t handle the hotel and I got it on the news! Now, I’m waiting to hear back from him to see if she has given up!”

“Uh, Vox,” Velvette glared at the photo and then at him. “You mean to say…that you made me rush through my fashion show for this meeting…AFTER I WAS ALREADY FALLING BEHIND AFTER THAT RAP BATTLE BLACKOUT YOU PULLED WITH THE RADIO DEMON…AND THE BEST SPY YOU COULD PICK WAS SOME STEAMPUNK ARSEHEAD?!” She bared her fangs and banged on the table, spilling a little wine. Kitty wiped it up with a napkin.

Vox held up his hands. “Chill, dear. I was going to tell you guys earlier.”

“Are you sure he’s the right kind of guy?” Valentino added, eyebrow raised. “He looks pretty stupid to me.”

“Val, he’s the perfect one to infiltrate the hotel,” said Vox. “No one will notice him.”

“Um, he did repair his zeppelin and he tried to attack the hotel literally earlier today!” Valentino reminded him. “You saw the video, remember? He’s not exactly a stellar sleuth.”

Vox waved a dismissive hand. “Just you two wait! When that snake comes back with the announcement that the hotel is no more, I will…erm I mean, we will be praised for our efforts!”

“If the Radio Demon is supporting the hotel, he won’t be happy if it’s gone,” Velvette said.

“Plus, my employee is in there,” Valentino added.

“Angel Dust is still under your contract,” Vox said to Valentino. “He won’t be going anywhere. I’m sure you can handle him and get him back. As for Alastor…” electricity sizzled around his hand. “I can’t wait to finish him off myself!”

Valentino smirked. “Still pissed that he almost beat you that one time? And won the rap battle this time?”

“FUCK YOU, VAL!”

0 0 0

Back at the Hazbin Hotel, Charlie buried her face in her hands on the couch. Vaggie comforted her as she cried. They had finished watching the news.

“I…I can’t believe it!” she sobbed. “Just when I thought I was making progress, the news anchors mocked me again! Now all of Hell thinks I’m a fool!”

“Aren’t you going to prove them wrong?” Vaggie asked.

“I…I don’t think I can…it’s too much…”

“Wait…you’re not quitting are you?” Vaggie asked, concern in her voice.

Charlie wiped away some tears. “What’s the point, Vaggie? We’ve tried everything so far. No recruits for the hotel…and look at this!”

Charlie showed several online posts from her cell phone: “#BringDownHasBeenHotel” “#VeesRule” “#VoxOwnsRadioDeer,” “PrincessPassionProjectPlummits!”

“Don’t let those assholes get to you,” Angel Dust said to Charlie, looking up from his cell phone. “But I did warn you that you didn’t have much of a chance to begin with.”

Vaggie glared at Angel Dust. “Not helping.”

Charlie stood up. “I love you guys, and I appreciate all your help, but…I think…I may have to close this place.”

Vaggie gasped softly. Niffty’s face fell. Angel Dust scrolled on his phone. Husk sighed and walked off. “I’ll go pack my stuff.”

“Goodnight guys,” said a sad Charlie. “If we don’t know who’s filming us, there’s no point in trying to stay...it’ll just get worse. You can leave in the morning if you want.”

“Where will you go?” Vaggie asked Charlie.

Charlie looked down somberly. “Back to my mansion with my busy depressed dad I guess.”

“Can I stay with you?”

“Of course!”

“Can I?” asked Angel Dust.

“No!” Vaggie barked.

“Worth a shot,” Angel Dust shrugged.

Charlie glanced at the banner that read “HAPPY FIRST WEEK SIR PENTIOUS!” with the yellow snake on it. ‘We were so close, Sir Pentious,’ she thought. She yawned and headed to her room, too tired to remove the decorations. Angel Dust spotted Alastor and marched toward him.

“Al,” Angel Dust called. “You’re the one who did the commercials mocking the hotel. Did you do the ones mocking Charlie, too?” Vaggie also glared at Alastor, watching Charlie go down the dark hall.

“Nope,” Alastor replied. “I’d never involve myself with Vox and his pathetic picture-box shows.”

“But you used to be Overlord friends!” Angel Dust glared.

“Before he became involved in useless trends and his own ego,” Alastor scoffed. “He was only interested in furthering his company with my powers.”

“And I think you want Charlie to fail for your own amusement!” Vaggie seethed. Alastor just stood with an enigmatic grin.

“You’re the spy, now fess up!” Angel Dust barked.

“You all are a bunch of idiots,” Husk mentioned from the distance. “We know someone was somehow able to film us from the inside. You know he doesn’t like modern technology. Why would he use it to further mock us?”

“Exactly,” said Alastor. He turned to Vaggie. “I told you I was never to be bothered with using such frivolous technology again.”

“Oh…right…” Vaggie suddenly realized.

Alastor materialized into shadow and vanished. Vaggie followed Charlie into her room. She held her hand. “It’s okay, Charlie. Perhaps we can try something else, build a restaurant or something. The Hazbin Inn, how about that?”

Charlie shook her head sadly. “Even though we have Alastor and Angel Dust, it’s still not enough. Let’s go to bed.”

Vaggie relented and sighed, worried about her girlfriend and what they would do next for Charlie’s dreams.

Later that evening, Angel Dust gulped down a bottle of alcohol. He heard something slither in the dark and thought he saw a shadow slip away.

“Huh?” he asked.

Angel Dust peered into Charlie’s office, the door open a crack. Spiderwebs lined several sections of the bookshelves. To his shock, he spotted Sir Pentious with an evil grin setting up the gray square camera on a bookshelf!

Angel Dust slammed open the double doors with all four hands.

“You slippery little shit!”

Sir Pentious turned around and screamed, flinching back.

“You’re working for the Vees?!” Angel Dust asked. He marched over to Sir Pentious, jabbing a finger into his chest. “I fucking knew there was something shitty about you!”

Sir Pentious brushed Angel Dust’s hand away and walked to the side. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” He grinned and faced Angel Dust. “Whore bug!”

Angel Dust yelled in anger and rammed himself into Sir Pentious. They fought and rolled on the ground, Angel Dust punching him in the face several times. He rolled him over and caught him in a headlock with his arm. Sir Pentious struggled free of his grip. “Get you’re aggressively average body…OFF OF ME!”

All of Sir Pentious’ eyes flashed hypnotically. “FUCK!” Angel Dust cried, hypnotized and stepping back. Sir Pentious hissed and slithered back. Angel Dust shook his head, snapping out of it. He marched toward Sir Pentious again, fists clenched.

Charlie yawned and she and Vaggie stepped into the room. They both wore their nightgowns. Charlie wore red two-piece pajamas and Vaggie wore a white dress nightgown. Charlie had black slippers on her feet with red flowers on them. Her long blonde hair was untied and messy.

“What’s going on?” asked a tired Charlie.

Angel Dust grabbed one of Sir Pentious’ arms. “This little bitch is a traitor!”

Sir Pentious yanked his arm free. “Preposterous!” He walked toward Charlie and Vaggie. “I would never betray you! You…are my best friends!” He hugged both girls.

“Uh huh,” Angel Dust deadpanned. “Then explain this!” He moved a book to the side, revealing the camera. Vaggie glared at Sir Pentious, her suspicion confirmed.

“Now we know how Vox was able to film us!”

Charlie gasped in shock at the realization.

“You…you almost made me lose my hotel…” Charlie whimpered.

Sir Pentious screamed. “Ah! Ah! Abort! Abort!” He slithered to the window and held up his gray wristwatch. “S.O.S.! Agent Pentious in need of immediate evacuation!” Sir Pentious tried to yank open the window in vain.

Vox’s face appeared on the small round screen of the wristwatch.

“Pentious?” Vox asked. “Wait…you were caught?! It’s barely been a day or two!”

“Please! You’ve got to get me out of here!” Sir Pentious begged.

Vox chuckled and scoffed. “I can’t believe we thought you could handle even something this simple. Do us a favor, if they don’t kill you…” His eye did the hypnotic motions and he spoke lower, “…go ahead and do it yourself! You miserable failure!”

The screen clicked off.

“I…I…” Sir Pentious cried, hurt by the words of his former idol.

He slithered forward, shoulders down, head lowered. “Just make it quick I guess…”

He curled into a ball, awaiting his death. “Not that I deserve it…”

“Gladly,” Vaggie replied, readying her spear to pierce Sir Pentious’ skull.

“Wait,” Charlie said, pushing back Vaggie’s spear. She leaned down and held out her white hand. “Pentious?”

Sir Pentious looked up at Charlie, teary-eyed. Forgiveness and a softness radiated from her face as she began to sing.

“It starts with sorry…”

She helped Sir Pentious up.

“That’s your foot in the door.”

“One simple sorry, spoken straight from your core.”

Charlie placed a hand over Sir Pentious’ heart. He gasped softly. He had never felt any real love or kindness since his time on Earth long ago. She put a hand on his shoulder and made her other hand into an encouraging fist.

“The path to forgiveness is a twisting trail of hearts!”

Charlie slid on a sparkling pink trail in her black slippers that magically appeared near her feet. Smoky hearts swayed and vanished where Charlie danced.

“But sorry is where it staaaarts!”

She spread out her arms to him. Sir Pentious closed his eyes and looked away as he sang.

“Who could forgive a dirtbag like me?”

“I don’t deserve your amnesty.”

Sir Pentious leaned backward on the floor, hand over his heart. Vaggie and Angel Dust gave him menacing death glares. Vaggie had her spear and Angel Dust had two guns in his hands. Sir Pentious scooted backward in fear. Vaggie and Angel Dust stood in shadow, a purple light showing their eyes, mouths, and weapons.

“Can’t we just kill him? Shoot him and spill his blood?”

Charlie stuttered.

“That’s an option you could choose…”

“Works for us!” harmonized Vaggie and Angel Dust.

Charlie bravely walked forward, pushing aside all the weapons.

“But who hasn’t been in his shoes?”

Charlie leaned down and held out her hand for Sir Pentious again.

“It starts with sorry…”

“Sorry.” Sir Pentious began, standing up. Charlie twirled him around in a dance. She pulled him closer to her face, holding his hands in hers.

“Dig down deeper and say one sincere sorry!”

In response, Sir Pentious leaned back in a dramatic pose and chorused, “I’m so sorry!”

“And your journey’s underway!” Charlie smiled as she and Sir Pentious spun around. Vaggie and Angel Dust shared bewildered looks.

In a purple sky background were flashbacks of Sir Pentious’ life in Hell: Sir Pentious grinning on his zeppelin, Sir Pentious with metal binoculars, Sir Pentious surprised at a broken Egg Boi in front of him, Sir Pentious using a square tablet device, eyes narrowed.

He and Charlie began a duet at the same time.

“It’ll take time to uncover your vast multitude of sins…”

“It’ll take time to uncover my vast multitude of sins…”

They both harmonized, “But sorry is where it begins!”

Yellow fireworks exploded the flashbacks and read “SORRY” in sparky letters. Sir Pentious and Charlie smiled as sparkles rained down on them.

“It starts with sorry.”

The song ended with the two of them smiling at each other back in the room. In the doorway stood an unimpressed Niffty in a white-lavender dress nightgown with a pink bow on top.

“I hated that song! Why are you so lame?!”

She stomped over and promptly kicked Sir Pentious’ body. “Not a bad boy!” She folded her arms and marched off. Sir Pentious grimaced in pain.

Charlie sighed. “Good to see things resolved for the moment. We will keep this hotel going! Let’s get some rest.”

“Thank goodness,” Vaggie smiled at Charlie. The gang headed off to their rooms. Vaggie then rolled her eyes and said sarcastically. “The Sir Repentious Arc begins. Yay.”

“Admit it, Vaggie, my song helped him!”

“I’ve told you many times Charlie, life is not a musical!”

“Just…enjoy it Vaggie. I know you do, inside.”

The lights dimmed and in the darkness Alastor’s red eyes and yellow smile glowed. He walked over and picked up the wristwatch.

“WHAT?!” bellowed an angry Vox, before he paused in fear, realizing who it was.

“You’ll have to try harder than that next time, ol’ pal!” Alastor remarked.

Vox bellowed in rage as Alastor crushed the wristwatch with his hand. He dropped the sparking broken device onto the floor and left the room in shadow with a sinister laugh, his eyes and mouth briefly appearing again.

#hazbinhotel

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maguro13-2 · 2 months

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Dropping in Feet First (Medium Style Remake)

Yukina : Maki, look, as a steampunk girl who has bigger guns and fighting a bunch of undead iron baddies that is actually a horror zombie-like apocalypse thing, but what do we have to do with these so-called feet? I mean there actually called Soles and that's why we have anatomy scientific system. So we're gonna go down a pole that we have to get down and make some breakfast or something?

Maki : Of course, that's why firefighters always climb down on these poles and we have to think it over during the field trip, this is why we practiced for this moment and I will show you the demonstration of dropping in feet first.

Yukina : Well, you do have a point. We may have these big guns and hot bods of being muscular, but we have absolutely strong perfect feet of ours, soles cannot comprehend these kicks. And these soles were a great use of kick ass and we are going to drop in feet first.

Maki : That's what I'm talking about. (the two grabs onto the pole) Okay, Yukina. You ready to do this?

Yukina : Oh, I got this, sister. Time to get with it!

Maki : All action, no talk.

[Earth ~ Sukarabe Fight Bgm 1 - Naofumi Hataya]

Yukina : Let's do this!

Maki : Time to drop in feet first, Medium style! [the two slides down on the poles]

Yukina : Wow! You were right, Maki! This is awesome! I never anything seen anyone dropping in feet first before!

Maki : You know it! This is why we always go down like this!

Yukina : Once we land perfectly on our soft soles, we can able to get down from here!

Maki : You said it! And there's no way that we are gonna land safely!

[TIRE SCREECHING]

Yukina : Hey, uhh, Maki.

Maki : What is it?

Yukina : I just got one question for ya.

Maki : There are no legos on the bottom is there?

Yukina : Good. Which is why our soles are practically fine.

Maki : Okay then. I got another question for ya, when we get off these poles to land on the bottom, there is one problem that i gotta tell you something. Do you feel burning pain on the poles when you land of your softly soles to the bottom?

Yukina : Rhetorical question, Maki. That's because we just got ourselves a...

Maki & Yukina : [together] HAND BURN!!!

Maki : At least, we don't get the foot burn.

Yukina : Quick! We gotta cool our hands off!

*SA1 SFX : Dash Panel 2X*

Maki & Yukina : Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! Quick put our hands in there!

*SPLAT+SIZZLING*

Maki : Ahhh. Finally, something to cool our hands off.

Yukina : Yeah, me too. (realizing) Hey, isn't this the princess's birthday cake.

Maki : Don't you mean Princess Hibana's birthday cake? (turns and sees Hibana and Ogun) Oh, uhh, fellas. I didn't know that this was your birthday that was stored in the freeze. Anybody wants a slice of it?

Yukina : Anybody wants a slice? (nervously laughs) No hard feeling, right? Hey, where's the cake and where did Maki go?

(it is revealed that Kirby ate Maki and transformed after eating the birthday cake)

Yukina : Oh boy. I knew this pink marshallow just ate the whole thing of Birthday cake.

Princess Hibana : Oh well, we're just getting our own cakes from the Cheesecake Factory.

Ogun : I'm gonna lay of the sweets, I'm just gonna go on a salad diet. No taffy.

Yukina : Well, at least I finally dropped in feet first. Congratulations, Maki.

Maki : Well, you certainly did.

Yukina : Woah. How did you do that?

Maki : Easy, that was my copy cat clone he ate. It's simply a magic trick that he pulled from me!

Yukina : I thought he ate you or something, well, good thing that he was such a random pink child or something that loves to eat all kinds of food from around the world. So let's go walk barefoot in the station and get--*PLONK! X2*

Maki : Yikes, Legos! We stubbed our feet with legos!

Yukina : I knew this was gonna happen! We just had to drop on feet first before we accidentally stepped on the legos!

Sister Iris : Who left their legos in the middle of the floor here!?

(camera pans to the group using lego blocks to build something)

Shinra : Uhh, whoops.

~ DON'T PUT LEGOS ON THE FLOOR ~

#fire force #enen no shouboutai #kabaneri of the iron fortress #koutetsujou no kabaneri #david production #wit studio #crossover #comedy #funny #humor

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maagee · 3 years

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I'm obsessed with the comically nonsensical world building of the DSMP

It's so clear that most of the time there was absolutely zero thought put into it other than "lol this will be cool for my character" and I love it so much.

First, you have the basic world building of Minecraft. The mobs, the structures and the three dimensions. Artifacts like totems, tridents and elytras that bear great power but cannot be created by a player. The magic system of potions and enchantments, and the basically non-existent, high fantasy lore that you can piece together however you want.

You also have the in-universe explanations for game mechanics. Canonical Skype to explain messaging and voice chatting while being far away from each other in-game. The End being unknown to inhabitants to explain why no one has gone there yet. Canon chats like the voices, crows, and particles to give characters a reason to monologue and explain their thought process.

Then there's the slightly odd, but still plausible stuff that's mostly the result of the inherent craziness of a Minecraft roleplay. A chaotic deity with unknown intentions that has an uncanny resemblance to that one guy everyone hates. An afterlife that may or may not have gotten so fucked up because of the existence of resurrection and ghosts. A parasitic alien entity that mind controls people into feeding it with human sacrifices. None of it has anything to do with Minecraft's lore, it's all batshit crazy stuff used for story.

Specifically I would like to mention TFTSMP. Not only do we have a time traveller, being fought over by two sentient (?) dimension-entity things, but also we get a glance into the world's fairly realistic history and steampunk-with-dystopian-undertones future.

There's also advanced technology that clashes so hard with the game mechanics, you can't help but laugh. Crossbows are apparently guns. One guy just made nukes. Smartphones and social media exist, yet people still have no proper transportation and mainly use medieval weapons like swords, axes and bows. It's amazing.

And then. We get to the best of it all. The character specific stuff. Ranboo is an enderman-something hybrid with human intelligence, proving that either cross species reproduction exists, or Shou Tucker is on the loose again. Philza has (had) wings and an extraordinarily long lifespan for unknown reasons. Charlie is a slime that said "fuck it, meat time" and evolved into a human out of sheer boredom. BBH is just a straight up demon. Where is he from? Hell I guess? Foolish is an immortal totem god who's also part shark with lightning powers because of course he is. There are also multiple animal hybrids whose existence implies... things... And I'm not even gonna get into Fundy's family tree and everyone else.

There's countries, elections, revolutions and wars founght by about a dozen people. Except not, because apparently regular background characters and citizens exist, who just... Put up with everyone's drama I guess? And what about the multiple religions?? And the apparently homonormative society???

It's all so nonsensical and it's so perfectly fitting for DSMP and it's scuffed, chaotic energy. I love it so much.

#either cross species reproduction exists or Shou Tucker is on the loose again #<- is the best sentence i've ever written #dream smp #dsmp #dsmpblr #mcytblr #mcyt

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neonross · 2 years

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FazIndustries AU

BOK-

this au- got a bit bigger- then I thought-

sooo- gonna show in a gradual way- XDD

the AU world wise, and timeline is A steampunk, Cyberpunk mix

mostly cyber i think,

The AU centers around the various things that happen in the FazIndustry- mostly the Entertainment part-