Tumgik
#this is exactly what she wants and i would have liked something different for her
killerlookz · 18 hours
Note
heyyy💋 so could i request a fic where reader is an eurovision contestant and basically her & joost are attached to the hip. they are seen being all cuddly with each other, flirting, sitting as close to each other as possible, the cameras catching your non so secret glances.. generally acting like a couple. but when the press asks you about this whole situation, you both deny that you have something going on between you two, but deep down you know that those gestures are not so “innocent” at all🤭🤭
a/n: ooooh i love a cheeky little secret romance!! thank you for the request anon <3
Just Friends | Joost Klein
Tumblr media
content: gn! reader, very brief allusion to sex, joost and reader are so down bad for each other its a little pathetic, mostly fluff, some angst if you look at it under a microscope.
word count: 2128
Tumblr media
You sit on the edge of your hotel bed, you smile, your cheeks grow hot, letting out a small breath from your nose, replacing a genuine laugh.
Your phone sits in your lap, opened to a message
Joost Klein: When were you planning to tell me that I'm your secret lover 😓
What followed was a screenshot from some European tabloid sight, headed by: Eurovision Contestants Spotted Getting Cozy: Secret Lovers Revealed?!
Below were two grainy photos of you and Joost, taken just moments apart from each other. Taken from behind, they showed the two of you walking side by side, just outside the hotel you were staying in. It would have looked more like a friendly exchange if your hands hadn't been locked together.
You knew you'd have to explain everything eventually, that was the third headline this week that had come out about you and Joost. Another showed the two of you sharing a hug that looked a little too close for it to be friendly, in another you had a hand planted on his chest, and your head tilted back mid-laugh.
It all seemed a little ridiculous. You knew Eurovision was one of the largest events in all of Europe- but still, you couldn't have imagined how interested people would be in your personal life off the stage.
It was nothing too scandalous anyway, you and Joost had known each other prior to Eurovision. And sure, you were more casual friends, despite being from different countries, the two of you had run in similar circles with music and all. You had spent the last few years admiring each other's music, usually from afar, the times the two of you had genuinely hung out before all this were few and far between. Your conversations were usually reserved for more chaotic moments, either backstage at the end of a show or in the crowd for a musician friend the two of you had in common.
You couldn't exactly explain away all of the touchy-touchy stuff, but you never expected that you would have to, it had just always been like that, ever since you first met. Truthfully, the two of you were closer than the tabloid photos led on. But they didn't have to know that.
Hasty fingers tap at your phone screen
apparently it's so secret that i didn't know it either!
You send your response to Joost before closing your phone and tossing it somewhere on the bed. You lay back, landing on the firm mattress with a small bounce.
Tumblr media
Your eyelids are lowered, trying your best to keep focus on the woman in front of you through heavy lids- though it seems impossible with the crisp white LEDs shining in your face.
"So, have you made any connections with any other contestants since you've been here in Malmö?" The woman asks, a curious eyebrow-raising as she guides the microphone in her hands in front of your face.
You know exactly what she wants to hear from you, the hunger is evident in her eyes, she licks her lips in desperation for a scoop, before her mouth pulls into a sly smile, it all feels so predatory. You swallow thickly, shifting a quick gaze toward the cameraman before flicking your eyes back to the reporter, who has an equally as hungry look on his face, and you realize, you are their prey.
"Yeah, absolutely," You nod, your face lights up, "I've honestly really connected with Bambi Thug, they're really bringing such a new and innovative sound to Eurovision, I really admire them for that, and don't let the makeup and costumes fool you they are an absolute sweetheart!" It wasn't a lie, Joost was not the only person you had talked to since the competition started. You did make friends while you'd been here.
The journalist loses her grin, her face now twisted with dissatisfaction.
"Anyone else?" She asks, nearly cutting you off, her microphone still stuck in your face.
"Marina has been an absolute joy too," Your smile lingers on your lips, "And Nemo- they're great too!"
"Well," The journalist starts, facing the microphone back to her, "I think we've all been hearing the rumors about some sparks flying between you and the Dutch representative, Joost Klein, is there any truth to them?"
You're a little taken back by her forwardness to just outright ask the question,
"I wasn't aware of any rumors," You furrow your eyebrows, shaking your head in vehement denial, "But Joost is great too, we've known each other for a few years now, and I've been a big fan of his music, and he's a great friend." You breathe out, silently hoping the answer is satisfactory for the journalist to cease probing any further.
"No potential for anything more than a friendship?"
"Oh no," You shake your head, nearly scoffing as the words choke out of your mouth, and you hope you're as good of an actress as you are a singer, "Again, Joost is great, but he's just my friend."
"Alright," She nods her head slowly, unsatisfied. The way the journalist's eyes linger on you makes it clear she doesn't quite believe you- but it would be inappropriate of her to ask you any more questions on the matter.
"Would you like to talk about my music now?"
Tumblr media
"I just don't know why they're acting like we had a sex tape leak- do these people not hug their friends?" You throw your hands up, frustrated. The last two days had been nothing but interviews, but it seemed none of the interviewers were as interested in your actual Eurovision performance as they were in potentially getting the first scoop on what was "going on" between you and Joost.
"I mean that would give them something to talk about," Joost chuckles, standing at the foot of your hotel bed, he's clad in nothing but a white tank top and his underwear. The tight fabric of what little he's wearing clings to his body, leaving just about nothing to the imagination. He ruffles a hand through his already messy hair. You'd wondered what the tabloids would say if they got a whiff of this, "All press is good press"
"Are you suggesting something, Mr. Klein?" You flash a look at him, your eyes piercing his. Your words come out much harsher than you had intended them to, you couldn't help it, your frustration was evident.
Joost placed a hand behind his neck, rubbing anxiously, throwing a sheepish look in your direction as to insinuate he had been suggesting something. You knew he was only joking, but the thought of actually doing such a thing made your face hot. A light pink blush burned on your face as you stared up at him.
"You're filthy," You giggle, and your hands latch on to a pillow that sits next to you, and you fling it in Joost's direction.
He takes a step back as the pillow hits him square in the stomach, a loud thump can be heard in the room as contact between his body and the stuffed object is made. He choked out a breath of surprise, and his face winced as he grabbed his stomach in feigned agony,
"How could you," He shakes his head, "I think you broke every single one of my ribs."
"Shush," You scoff, "C'mon, get over here." You pat the bed next to you, shifting yourself over to one side.
In typical Joost fashion, he practically jumps onto the bed. He adjusts himself in such a way that his shoulder is brushing up against yours. He's warm, and you want nothing more than to crawl into his arms. It was almost pitiful the way you wanted him, completely desperate. And yet, you don't dare to act- not right now.
The room falls silent as the both of you hesitate to say anything. The room is thick with a humid tension, and words left unsaid. Your reccolection of the last few days seemed non-existent yet ever-present at the same time. Everything had left you wondering the same exact questions as every journalist who had talked to you today, what was going on between you and Joost?
"I can feel the stress radiating off of you," Joost finally speaks, "Are you okay?"
You furrow your eyebrows, looking down into your lap where your fingers are not fidgeting and intertwined. Your face twitches.
"Are you really so upset about those interviews? Do you want to stop this, I can lea-"
"No," you cut him off all too quickly, "No stay. Please." Your voice had shriveled down to nothing but a pathetic whisper. As confusing as your feelings had been, the confusion seemed to be better than not having them at all. It was hard being away from home and feeling like you were bracing the weight of the world or at least of Europe against your shoulders. Joost, at least, was a source of comfort, something to come back to.
"Okay," He nods, his head moving up and down slowly.
You'd be lying if you said you hadn't felt some sort of way about Joost before all of this. His affectionate nature with you seemed to cross all of the wires in your brain. He had always been affectionate with his close friends, not afraid to spare a hug or an arm around the shoulder when he felt like it, but with you it seemed different, especially taking into account neither of you would exactly consider the other as a "best friend."
Besides, even if you were, best friends don't usually stay up all night, lying on top of each other in some state of undress, lips hungrily pressed against one another. This whole situation had left you feeling like you were a teen again, the prickling feeling in your chest of excitement and anxiety of sneaking around to see a boy you liked. It was addicting, the adrenaline that flooded each and every inch of your body, as the two of you snuck off from the afterparties where your appearances were all but mandatory. You'd be lying if you said it didn't at least help a little to take the edge off of all the stress of the competition.
An arm snakes around your shoulder, and immediately Joost is clicking his tongue disapprovingly
"So tense," He mumbles, "Lay down, will you?" His voice is quiet, nearly pleading, and much more timid than you're used to. You feel compelled to oblige, spellbound, his soft words are like hypnosis.
Joost's arm slips from where it sits around your shoulder as you sink into the pillows below. You allow your body to relax into the support of the mattress.
A hand grazes your thigh, trailing down to your knee, Joost gives you a couple gentle taps, "Put your legs up, I'll pull down the blanket for you."
You oblige, bending your knees to pull them inward, and Joost hops off the bed for a moment, grabbing the thick white comforter in his hands from its neatly made position. You shift as he pulls it from under your body, allowing the blanket to slip down to your feet.
The bed dips as Joost crawls back to his position next to you. He reaches out to the foot of the bed, pulling the comforter up to cover the two of you.
"So," You start, rolling on your side, facing away from Joost, "Did they ask you about me?"
The blanket above you shifts as Joost adjusts himself to lie down next to you. He places a gentle hand against your hip, rubbing careful circles against the fabric that separates your skin from his. His chin rests upon your shoulder, and almost instinctively you nuzzle your cheek against his.
"Mhmm," His gentle hum vibrates against your skin, sending shivers down your spine.
"What did you say?" You ask and your teeth clench, your eyes shut tight, waiting with anticipation for his response, hoping for it to line up with yours. You could only imagine the suspicion that would arise if the two of you were to have given entirely different answers to the same question.
"I told them we're friends, just friends."
Your jaw slacks at the relief, and you let out a sigh, eyes fluttering open. But something about those words coming from his mouth, just friends, as his words graze your ears your relief is coupled with a stinging feeling in your chest, a sharp reminder of the peculiar position you had found yourself in.
"And are we," You pause, "Just friends?"
Joost picks his head up from where it rests on your shoulder, ghosting the exposed flesh of your arm with a kiss.
"Not if you don't want us to be."
Tumblr media
342 notes · View notes
rebouks · 16 hours
Text
Tumblr media
Wren: Robinnnnnnn, mom asked you to watch Ava for a minute. Robin: [tuts] Don’t drag her like that. Wren: Why not? She likes it. Robin: Until you drag her over a rock.
[Wren ignored Robin as she continued hauling a giggling Ava through the long grass]
Wren: Why’re you here again?
Tumblr media
Levi: Why not? Wren: ‘Cause this isn’t your house. Byrd: Shut up, Wren-.. you’re being a meanie! Wren: You shut up!
[Wren scowled, muttering something under her breath]
Levi: What?
Tumblr media
Wren: I said you’re stupid! Levi: I bet you’re stupider. Wren: Not as stupid as Byrd. Byrd: I’m not stupid! Wren: Are too! Robin: No one’s stupid.
Tumblr media
Robin pulled Ava safely into his lap and listened to Wren and Byrd bickering, eventually turning their attention toward Levi, accosting him as ferociously as they would anyone else; his usual walls crumbling to dust as they wrestled amongst the clover. His friends might not have understood why he wanted to hang out with Levi, but Robin could sense that there was an entirely different boy hiding beneath his prickly, well-maintained façade.
The rustling birch trees and the dappled shadows beneath created a rare safe haven for Robin’s classmate, who in the absence of anyone to impress or mislead, finally smiled and enjoyed himself with a genuineness that Robin had never seen before.
Tumblr media
Straightening Ava’s little bow and holding her closely, Robin couldn’t help but think how awful it must be to be part of a family that never played or laughed together, a family that didn’t particularly enjoy your presence or show you much affection-.. if any. It wasn’t hard to imagine how strenuous it’d be, constantly pretending to be someone you weren’t.
He didn’t exactly want to spend every waking moment with his parents, nor his siblings, but Robin loved each one of them dearly and struggled to picture his world without them. It wasn’t expected or necessary given how supportive Oscar and Courtney usually were, but Robin took his role as an older brother quite seriously and enjoyed lightening their load by looking out for his brother and sisters; he felt a pang of sadness for Levi as he realised that on top of his absent parents, he couldn’t even rely on his own sister as a source of comfort or approval.
Tumblr media
Robin wondered what would’ve happened if he hadn’t heard Levi in time-.. what if he’d been that bit better at blocking everything out, what if he’d been distracted, what if he was too far away or hadn’t been there at all?
He’d tried to convince his parents that he wasn’t interested in going because an elementary school disco sounded like the most boring event in existence, but they’d assumed his reluctance had been due to anxiety and cajoled him into going anyway, for a little while at least. In the end, he supposed it was a good job they had.
If something had happened to Levi that night, he would’ve struggled to forgive himself, and the thought of anything terrible befalling anyone else at the hand of his apathy or purposeful ignorance filled him with dread.
Tumblr media
Although it could be difficult and tiring sometimes, he probably ought to pay more attention to his surroundings rather than ignoring everything, as he’d been partial to recently-.. just in case.
It was nice to have the option these days, but maybe Robin was never meant to suppress his gift completely, maybe he’d been given it for a reason. He had no idea why, how, or where it came from, but it wasn’t just a quirky annoyance anymore, it’d literally saved someone’s life; it was clearly far too important to wilfully dismiss...
Tumblr media
Previous // Next
Tumblr media
97 notes · View notes
lillchris · 2 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You With The Dark Curls; You With The Water Colured Eyes (2)
Chapter Two: I'd Start a Riot Word Count: 2.2k
a/n: Title inspo from BANNERS song "Start A Riot" I will try and make this chapter, and future ones longer :) Anyway, enjoy this chapter! Stay Safe love you all <3
BANNERS song below in case you haven't listened to it, or want to! ;)
Start a Riot
TW: Angst, Swearing, anxiety and panic attack
Luckily when Paige walked back inside, Drew wasn't right there carping her with questions, which she was currently thankful for. 
In fact, she didn't know what exactly to think of at the moment. All she could think about was everything Jalen had said in the course of their heated conversation. Even though she was angry with Jalen at the beginning of their discussion, she had tried to keep it civil.  But screw it, it had escalated to anything but a civil conversation by the end of it all. 
The fact that Jalen had the audacity to bring up her parent’s divorce was a very low blow, but yet in all the years that Paige had known him, it didn’t surprise her too much that he would make a comment like that, and it gave Paige yet another reason to never speak to Jalen again.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the couch, Azzi was consumed in her own pool of thoughts. 
She mentally kicked herself for not being able to give Jalen her full what for. She knew that if she somehow did now, it would make the situation worse, and that was the last thing Paige needed.  However, in her mind, she hoped that sometime in the very near future the situation would arise where she could.  She made a mental note and added Jalen to the list of people she wanted to bitch slap. and yes Azzi had a list, and by all means, he deserved it. 
Azzi rose from the couch, silently, walking into the kitchen, eyeing her parents, who were still cleaning the kitchen.  She kept her presence brief as she filled a glass with ice water, as she felt Tim and Katie’s eyes on her.  She said nothing, only glancing at them as her parents frowned.  It was one of those eyes that spoke more than words moments.  Azzi’s expression and demeanor told her parents pretty much everything.  They stayed quiet, as they watched their daughter walk away, before having a conversation of their own. 
Azzi crouched down in front of Paige meeting her eye level with the couch as she handed her the glass of water. 
Their eyes met, and something in Paige softened, as her best friend watched her face relax. 
Azzi was always the one who could do that, no one else.  She somehow made her feel at peace, even in moments when she felt like everything around her was crashing.  She was there for her when she injured her ACL, there for her when she wanted to give up, physically and mentally in rehab, every time. She was there for her when Jalen had broken her heart, letting her cry. Azzi was her safe haven.  Azzi had told Paige once, that she saved her, but in reality, it was vice versa.  To her Azzi was the one who had truly saved her.
Flashback… (November 2022)
Why did this injury even have to happen? One season, please, an injury-free healthy season, that’s what she had hoped for. Longed for, Prayed for, asked God for, but He had different plans. Through the constant painful days of rehab Paige was really starting to wonder what that plan truly was.
“Six months” “Nine months” “Possibly up to a year maybe more.” That’s what she had heard over and over again from Orthopedic Specialists and doctors. “Oh your young and healthy! It might not take that long for recovery!” They’d say or “You should be thankful it isn’t worse.” She didn’t want sympathy or pity, she wanted to be out on the court, playing. Instead she had to watch from the sidelines as her teammates played games she would have been in too if it hadn’t been for this.
She fucking hated it. Being away from the court, being resentful towards her teammates, the jealousy, the envy all of it! She knew she shouldn’t feel that way, but the jealousy always crept in somehow.
Most of all she missed the court, even the sound. The way her shoes would squeak against the hardwood, or the way the rubber and layers upon layers of fiber felt in her hand as she gripped the basketball.
Ball was life, who was she without it if she couldn’t play? She didn’t mean it, but she also didn’t want to lie to herself and not acknowledge that half of that statement wasn’t true, because it was.
Paige mentally cursed herself as one of the therapists aided her in the usual “daily walk” they called it. It was supposed to be a towards the end of the day type of casual walk, but to Paige it was anything but casual. The walk was a fucking menace, as Paige felt every muscle in her right “good leg” burn as it tried to compensate for her bum left one.
She was about to curse out loud but the sound of Azzi’s voice stopped her from doing so. As she glanced over toward the hallway entrance she saw Azzi, her Azzi. Even though she had seen her two days prior, something in Paige always skipped when she saw her. She didn’t know what to root it to, the fact that she missed her or something else. All Paige knew was the she was elated to see her best friend, as even the presence of her encouraged Paige to keep going.
———————————————————————
“Paige! It’s your turn to give me my gift!”Drew said excitedly, snapping his big sister out of her daze, and back into the present moment.
“Oh uh yeah right!” Paige said with a slight smile as she got up from the couch and handed Drew his present.
Paige was trying to be as enthusiastic as she could that evening as everyone opened presents, but her efforts were in vain.
Azzi glanced over at Paige. She knew that the events from this morning were effecting Paige more than she knew, physically Paige was there with everyone, but mentally she was in another place.
Azzi said nothing, as she silently intertwined her fingers with Paige’s, in hopes to help keep her grounded in the moment despite the fact her mind was spiraling.
“Yes! This is exactly what I wanted! Thank you!”Drew said happily before engulfing his big sister in a tight embrace.
Drew was ecstatic about his present, due to the fact he now had a PlayStation Portal. He could easily play Fortnite virtually anywhere, without being tied to his console. Which in turn didn’t help his video game obsession, but Drew was happy and to Paige that’s all that mattered.
“You gotta open yours now.” Azzi said mustering up a smile as she handed Paige a small velvet box.
The content of the box contained a small sliver ring with the wording engraved on the front “My Ride Or Die”. Their initials ‘P&A’ engraved on the inside.
Paige smiled, and chuckled lightly before handing Azzi a slightly bigger velvet box.
Azzi gasped slightly, before laughing a little and smiling upon seeing the item.
Unironically enough, inside was an identical silver stylish bracelet with the same wording on the front and their initials, this time on the back.
"They really are soulmates." Jose whispered to Drew with a laugh making a heart hands toward the two girls jokingly.
"Now we're matching." Paige stated as she carefully placed the bracelet around Azzi's smaller wrist.
---------------------------------------------------
"Alright that's it for me I'm done, I already lost five hotels four houses, and seven hundred dollars. I'm practically broke." Paige says laughing as she sets her play piece on the Monopoly board.
"Yeah, I guess I'm out too, Drew drained me of all resources." Azzi says as she noogies Drew's head jokingly.
"Oh come on it's only 3am. You two are dropping out and going to bed like an old married couple." Jose teases as Paige and Azzi roll their eyes, and walk down the hall toward Azzi's bedroom.
Later that night, silence filled the bedroom as Azzi and Paige lay opposite the queen-sized mattress. They always shared a bed whenever Paige visited the Fudds, so it wasn't out of the norm for them to share a bed, but tonight something was different.
"You awake Paige?" Azzi asked curiously as she lay on her side, before glancing over at Paige who had her back facing her.
"Yeah, um I'm awake." Paige said vaguely not even turning around to face Azzi.
Tonight Paige was closed off like a butterfly, sheltered in the cacoon walls she had put up to protect herself, and no matter what Azzi did she couldn't get through to her. Azzi didn't blame Paige at all for being closed off, but she just wished that Paige would let her carry her burdens; together through all of this.
"You don't have to say anything but, if you do, I'm here to talk or just listen. I'm here; always."
Paige said nothing, but internally she felt like she was on the brink of drowning. All the air left her lungs as she felt as though she was barely keeping her head above water. Her ears felt as though they were burning, her mind was screaming at her. Paige felt as though her heart was beating out of her chest, feeling the ever-looming feeling of nausea rising in her throat. She didn't know what was happening to her. Her senses were shot through the roof, and it was only then did she realize her labored breathing could be heard by Azzi.
"Paige." Azzi's voice stretched out to her, but at this point, her friend was unreachable, as something threatened to pull her under. Take her away from the only thing, the only person who could possibly pull her from the waves she was being taken under by.
"Paige, it's me, Azzi, You're here with me, whatever you're experiencing right now, I'm here with you in this moment." Azzi said softly holding Paige's hand in a desperate attempt to somehow bring her back to this moment.
In Paige's mind, she could hear her best friend calling out to her, but the thoughts and dread that had surpassed her earlier in the day had become all too much for her.
"Paige, can you hear me? I need you to slow down your breathing, long inhales, and exhales."
Paige made slight eye contact with Azzi, despite her eyes still being hazy and glazed over. Her vision was blurry and she could barely make out the shape of Azzi's face, as her fast spurts of breathing threatened to cause her blackout.
"Paige, I can't have you hyperventilating do you remember the grounding techniques we learned in psychology class?
Azzi firmly set both hands on Paige's shoulders, Azzi was damn determined to bring Paige out of this.
"Whatever is happening to you right now, whatever you're thinking it isn't true, none of it is. Whatever Jalen said to you isn't true. Your are an amazing person, you are smart, and kind. Who you love or how you love does not make you less. Your my best friend, your beautiful, and more than deserving of being loved, and to love. Your past circumstances do not define you.
Those words seemed to break through to Paige, as she slowly came back to the present moment. Her vision cleared and she was finally able to see Azzi clearly, as her chocolate brown, gentle eyes stared back into Paige's blue ones.
"I-I." Paige started to say, but Azzi gently shushed her, and she practically collapsed into Azzi's embrace. Paige's walls fell down, and Azzi was there to catch her.
"Shhhh I know, it's okay. I've got you, it's okay you can let it out. "
It made Azzi's heartbreak knowing Paige probably had kept this, and a lot of things pent up for a while now. Paige was always the tough one, the strong one, the leader. She was always there for others, but no one was there for her, not truly at least. She never really had any way or anyone she could talk to about everything.
Don't get Azzi wrong, she loved Paige's family, but she always wondered why her parents split when she was so young. She knew it was a very sensitive subject for Paige, and she respected that, but her mind always wondered. Azzi recalled when had taken Psychology I, that the earliest a child could remember things was age three. While it was often spotty and vague, a child would start to remember.
Azzi hated the fact that Paige had no one to talk to about this matter and everything else in between. From that moment on, Azzi made a promise to herself; that she would be that somebody.
Paige's sobs subsided, as Azzi looked down at her, realizing she had fallen asleep in her arms, utterly drained and exhausted.
Azzi sighed, laying Paige in her bed again as she climbed in beside her, thankful now that she was finally sleeping peacefully. It was only when Azzi heard Paige's snoring that was she satisfied.
Paige cuddled up to Azzi, as she softly planted a kiss on Paige's forehead. Usually, Azzi would be annoyed by her snoring, but tonight it was a more than welcome gift.
a/n: That's it, I know that this chapter was a bit deeper, and had some sensitive topics, but I promise to have more fluff in the future!! As always I would love to hear what you all think! <3
74 notes · View notes
jensettermandu · 11 hours
Text
love is not a walk in the park*ೃ༄
"when something that should be a walk in the park feels like a maze for the feline and canine–at least it's beautiful, serene, and sunny!"
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
warning; from the blackcat!Y/n series, the parts don't need to be read in order!
prev. m.list. next.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
It was the gentle breeze that pushed the clouds to move, the way there was a faint buzz of bees in the distance, the scent of green grass and soil and the presence of two suns that brought Y/n a serene feeling within her. 
It was as if she was alone, but not lonely because, despite their different nature, Yunjin brought her something she had been missing.
That feeling of inadequacy became faint. 
The words in her book didn’t hold a deeper meaning than her being able to live one life and during that one life being able to feel warmth on her skin despite sitting in the shadow of the tree. 
This was the most normal her life had ever felt which was ironic considering people would disagree because she was an idol. It was though, because she hadn’t been able to live her life more freely than now even with certain restrictions that came with fame and the need to keep a neat image. 
Yunjin basked in the sun where half of the blanket was–the other in the shadow where Y/n sat–these moments were the most peaceful ones she had. In a hectic life, as a person who indulged in the hectic with her energetic personality, Yunjin appreciated that she had Y/n to balance that out for her. 
The scent of cinnamon and benzoin was one she associated with serenity; Y/n’s scent reminded her of how she could wind down at times. 
There was a certain flow to the way her pen moved along the pages of the notebook as she scribbled down lyrics. Those songs she would brush off as silly, knowing she would never release them, that were, at times, about the feline her eyes would glance at now and then. 
What exactly were they about? Yunjin couldn’t figure that out, she couldn’t pinpoint what it was that she described when writing about someone she could write books about. It left her lost, but she kept chasing after the only thing her mind could think of; Y/n.
She wanted to state that she knew Y/n the best which still wasn’t as deeply as some would think that it was. However, Yunjin unlike others was able to figure out Y/n’s disguise; the girl always told one-fourth of a whole story and while the rest took it for the complete version the girl knew that there was more. 
Pretty eyes worn as a disguise. 
She looked up from the notebook and at Y/n who was leaning her back against Yunjin’s side for leverage. 
What exactly was it that she felt for her? So much, too much to simply put it into words, but it surely did make it easier to get words out on paper.
The feline was the perfect muse; Yunjin’s muse.
However, Y/n remained a mystery Yunjin loved being around. 
“What if we made a song together?” 
She casually put it out there, not thinking much of it as she mindlessly doodled on the page, underlining certain words. 
It wouldn’t only get them closer as she would get to spend more time with Y/n, but the girl beside her was amazing with her words. Yunjin would be able to learn; Y/n was highly lyrical and expressed herself in artistic ways Yunjin had yet to grasp. 
“What?” 
Y/n put the bookmark between the pages before she closed the book, her eyes didn’t leave the cover though. Nerves and uneasiness washed over her at the suggestion, her fingers traced along the outlines of the book in her hands, not being able to comprehend why Yunjin would want to write a song with her. Scared that she would get exposed for the fraud she felt like she was in a place she was supposed to fit into, but never felt like she did. 
“I mean we don’t have to release it, but just work on something together like a side project for fun.”
Yunjin shrugged and shifted in her place to turn to Y/n who sat up straight. 
“Why would you want to do that?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
That wasn’t the problem that Y/n saw with it, there were many.
“I mean as in; why with me when there are better options?”
The problem was that the girl felt like she was the least sought-after option and Yunjin would acknowledge her for the con that she was. Y/n was sure that she lacked, especially among all these other talented people. She stood out like a sore thumb and for all the wrong reasons; the feline did her best to stay hidden. She didn’t fit in a crowd of people who were talented when there were so many things she could do and have done so much better. 
She had achieved such high things in life, but was that enough? Was she enough? No way. All that she had done, Y/n could have done better, couldn’t she?
“Are you kidding?”
No, Y/n wasn’t kidding and she wasn’t going to entertain it either as she rolled her eyes and looked back down at her book, opening it again. Yunjin knew just how to make everything melt in the end and Y/n didn’t like that; no, it wasn’t that she didn’t like that; she just didn’t understand how Yunjin always managed to do it.
She was so confused about what it was that drew her to Yunjin. She just knew that it was a want; a need. Y/n wasn’t fond of that, especially as someone who had always been independent; she did not want to possibly become even slightly dependent on someone. She could simply ignore her emotions like she always did by occupying herself and pretending that she didn’t need Yunjin when it came to certain things. 
Yunjin smiled, putting down her pen as she huffed and moved to lie down on her back. Her smile didn’t disappear as she loved seeing the feline, who puffed up her fur at moments like these, melt into a puddle just for her. She loved not only the puddle Y/n could be, but she also loved her for the pompous behaviour and the person she was.
Was that it?
Despite her eyes being glued to the words she wasn’t able to read them and she let Yunjin put her head in her lap. Y/n was doing her best to try and ignore her canine, but it was hard to ignore the sun when it was beaming right at her. 
“Y/n, you’re the most competent person I know when it comes to music, especially when it comes to writing lyrics.”
The book got gently moved out of the way, Yunjin being able to see more than the cover as she looked over Y/n’s face and now met her eyes. She was aware that Y/n appreciated compliments, she could see how they worked as reassurance to her feline who she knew was insecure on the inside despite the confident and cold facade. 
Yunjin was always there for the girl; she was a loyal life-long companion for her feline. 
Still, words alone wouldn’t melt away a facade like hers, but Yunjin managed to do it with more than just words. She did it by simply being herself and it left Y/n confused; lost in something that sounded like an easy walk in the park but was like a maze with continuous dead ends. 
“How would you know?”
Comically Yunjin pushed the book back, blocking their sight of each other as she looked off into the distance of the park. 
The green grass gently blew with the wind, the sun beamed strongly and warmed her skin, and the whistle together with the rattling of the branches and leaves above them filled the momentary silence.
However, Y/n put it down onto the blanket they were on and looked at Yunjin with raised eyebrows. As far as Y/n knew she hadn’t shared any of the lyrics she had written and had yet to agree to help with the lyrics for their group's songs. The fear of being caught was too immense.
“I might’ve stumbled upon some papers–” “Yunjin.” Y/n groaned and Yunjin cowered, ducking her head at the bookmark that she was smacked in the head with. 
“To be fair, you gave me your book to read and it just fell out.” She defended with a squeak, peeking up at Y/n with her lower lip now jutted out. 
Y/n heaved a sigh and reclined, lying down on the blanket–Yunjin’s head still resting on her lap–and she stared at the tree above them. The green leaves swayed with the light wind and the sky peeked through the cracks of the branches. She closed her eyes when the sun managed to seep through the cracks and held them closed for a while as her mind started to work a shift.
At the silence Yunjin moved, sitting up and turning to look at Y/n. There was something overly serene about the feline when she looked at her. The bright ray of sun splayed across her face and her dark hair glimmered in the light as she lay with her eyes closed. 
Was it the sun? Yunjin could feel her face heat up at the ethereal view of her feline so comfortable in the open field.
She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging and resting her chin on them while staring at Y/n. The canine knew she could spend a whole day just looking at the cat-like girl in front of her. 
Her head tilted slightly to the side, “Y/n…” Yunjin carefully started and got a hum in return, watching the hues of the sun reflect on Y/n’s skin. “You’re not mad that I did, are you?” She warily asked because the last thing in the world that she wanted was to make Y/n upset with her. It wasn’t difficult to get Y/n annoyed–Yunjin was aware–but it was difficult to get her upset and angry.
It was extremely rare to see Y/n angry. Matter of fact over the past few years she’s only seen her angry once.
That was enough not to want to see more.
Yunjin held her breath when Y/n blinked her eyes open, squinting slightly at the bright light and her eyes glimmered like water did in the sun. Water Yunjin wanted to dive right into and swim in for an eternity. 
She stared at the girl who looked like a puppy that had been kicked to the curb. It was simply impossible to get upset with Yunjin. It made Y/n purse her lips for a second, the only person she was upset with was herself for being like ice cream in the sun when it came to her companion. 
Y/n exhaled, trying to cool off, but it was impossible when Yunjin’s big doe-like eyes stared at her like the sun. “No, I’m not.” The girl annoyedly admitted and the latter visibly perked up at the words, excitement evident because knowing that her feline wasn’t upset with her brightened her whole world which was filled with butterflies she loved to chase for the feeling. 
“Okay, and I’m sorry…It just happened to fall out and I didn’t know what it was at first so I read it thinking those were notes for the book.”
“I know you wouldn’t read if you knew, it’sfine.” 
Yunjin nodded as she manoeuvred around and lay on her stomach beside Y/n, resting her chin in her palm. Their eyes met as they stared at each other in yet another silence. It felt like a contest when in reality it was simply because neither of them wanted to look away. There wasn’t anything better to stare at in the end.
“Will you make a song with me then?” She at last repeated her question, but in a much smaller voice as if to not startle the girl.
Y/n broke their eye contact, but only to reach into her bag. Yunjin watched as Y/n blindly rummaged through it before she took out what she was looking for.
“Here, let’s look for some inspiration.” Yunjin happily grabbed one airpod and plopped down onto her back beside Y/n who opened her phone. 
“Do you have–” Y/n didn’t get to finish her sentence as Yunjin spoke up, “genuine love, like when you know that you’ve genuinely fallen in love because you are confused about why you fell in love in the first place.” 
The feline lolled her head to the side, coming face to face with Yunjin whose wide eyes gazed at her, a pink tint resting on the canine’s cheeks.
“You’re awfully cliché at times, you know?”
“Love is a cliché we can’t escape though, isn’t it?” 
“Unfortunately.” Y/n agreed and moved closer to the girl, resting her head on Yunjin’s shoulder so they could both look at her phone and be closer. 
The two didn’t need much inspiration though when they had each other.
.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
66 notes · View notes
lisbeth-kk · 2 days
Text
May Prompts (26) Manipulate
Tumblr media
The Luckiest Girl in the World (chapter 26)
Summary: Rosie finds an unmarked box in her wardrobe. When John scolds himself for lacking as a parent, Rosie sets things straight.
Twenty-Six Years Old
Six months after my return to London, I was moving out again. The internship at the ministry of justice paid surprisingly well. I couldn’t help but think that a certain uncle had been using his manipulation skills again… In addition to my wage, the generous inheritance from Nana and Timothy’s income from his published novel, were more than sufficient to buy a decent flat in Stockwell. 
Nana had clearly wanted that 221 Baker Street was well looked after, and gifted it to her two boys, and insisted in her will that if Deidre, or Dee, as she preferred to be called, needed a home, 221A should be hers. And for the last two years, 221A had been occupied by Dee. My parents got along with her like a house on fire.
“It’s like having a younger version of Hudders down there,” Papa stated.
“Agreed. The sassiness runs in the family, I presume. Dee’s skills in the kitchen are sadly things she did not inherit from her aunt, though,” Dad said.
“Definitely not! She almost sat the flat on fire when she was boiling eggs,” Papa filled in.
***
Moving out the first time, had been poles apart to this move. That time I was going on an adventure, and I knew it was for just a period. When I moved in with Timothy, it was forever, and that was more bittersweet than I’d anticipated.
Moving to Paris, I had only taken clothes, some books, my laptop and the like. Stripping my room bare, was something entirely different. There were so many memories, and I knew I had to get rid of some of them because the flat wasn’t exactly big, and there were Timothy’s things to consider as well.
Over the next weeks I felt that I lived inside a cardboard box. They were everywhere, even downstairs to let me have some room to move around upstairs and leave the bed free to sleep in.
On the floor inside my wardrobe, I found an old box that had remained hidden behind clothes, rucksacks, shoes and a bag with blankets. It wasn’t marked and I couldn’t remember having placed it there. I opened the flaps and gasped in surprise.
“How are you getting on?” Dad called from the stairs and seconds later he entered my room.
I looked up at him with a stunned expression. When he saw the box, his shoulders slumped, and he sighed heavily.
“Right. I’d forgotten all about that one,” he said sheepishly. “I’ve failed to keep her memory alive for you, haven’t I?”
“Dad,” I scolded him. “You had far more important things to cope with when she died. Raising me with Papa is the greatest gift you could’ve given me. Never be sorry for that. I don’t remember her at all. From what I’ve gathered she did some horrible things to you both. No, stop. She did. I may not know the full extent of it, but it doesn’t matter that she was my mother. Remember what Papa said about extended and chosen family. They can be way better than the biological one. Not that I would want to replace you, mind.”
We both looked down at the photo of my mother and Dad on their wedding day. I didn’t recall when it had been replaced with the wedding photo of Dad and Papa. It felt strange and a bit eerie to look at Dad embracing another person like that. I took it out and placed it in the box that was going to the bins.
“Rosie!” Dad exclaimed, more out of shock than anything else.
“It’s wrong, Dad. I don’t need that. To me she’s the one who gave me life, but she was never in it when it mattered, and I’ve never missed having a mother. I consider myself the luckiest girl in the world having you and Papa as parents. You’ve done a great job, and uncle Myc, Nana, Molly, Granny, Pops, and uncle Greg have been brilliant carers as well. Now, what else is in here?”
I found Ted, still stained with tomato sauce, a white baby blanket with a bee pattern, tiny boxes containing a curl of my hair, my first tooth, a book where my growth, my first real meal, my first words, my first steps, my first trip, (to Barts), my favourite toys and books were painstakingly written down in Papa’s handwriting. My eyes filled with tears when I realised how much love lay behind those notes.
“He didn’t let me near that book with my horrible handwriting,” Dad said in a choked voice, clearly as emotional as me.
Another book caught my eye. The one uncle Greg had mentioned. A book with children’s names. It was worn, and I didn’t know whether that was from Papa searching for male names starting with a G, or my mother’s search for names meant for me.
“Did you…”
“No,” Dad cut me off. “She’d already decided on a name once we got back together. After…”
He didn’t have to finish that sentence, and I’m glad he stopped himself. Just thinking about it made me nauseous. 
I hadn’t told Timothy about her yet, but I knew I needed to. He would eventually ask. The lack of photos of her would ensure that. I reminded myself to ask uncle Myc how much I could reveal. Not that I knew more than half of it myself.
After I’d put the box aside, I leant into Dad where he sat beside me and placed my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me and pulled me in for a hug.
“I’m so glad you decided to move back here with me after she died,” I murmured. “We would’ve been miserable without him.”
“Yeah, two years was enough for a lifetime,” Dad said and drew me closer, kissing the top of my head.
“I bet Papa is relieved that he can walk around in just a sheet now that I’m moving out for good,” I quipped to brighten the mood.
Dad chuckled and he was unable to hide the glint in his eyes at this prospect.
Also available on AO3
All the love to the other magnificent participants <3 Thanks to everyone for the endless support and especially to those who normally don't read parent!lock, but despite that are walking the extra mile. I'm in awe!
@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @raina-at @helloliriels
More tags in the replies
60 notes · View notes
042502 · 3 days
Text
☆༉ — CHRIS STURNIOLO. The Unwritten Rule.
Tumblr media
about. Everyone knows the rule, don't fall in love with your best friend's boyfriend.
author's note. This is the chapter 6, I hope it sounds interesting to you. My first language is not English. masterlis!
Tumblr media
Anna's house is quiet and empty, and I stand hesitantly in the kitchen as I check her messages.
Anna's house seems normal enough. Anna drops things on the floor, his mother leaves half-eaten cans of peppermint candy that she always has with her everywhere. But I still haven't felt comfortable here.
I don't think Anna will either, but I feel even more uncomfortable than usual. I can't believe Chris is coming. I can't believe I'm here. Why did I agree to this?
Because I want to see it.
I'm not here for Anna, I'm here for me and I'm a horrible friend.
I can't help it. I still want to see it.
Anna threw her cell phone on the table with some anger, clearly she wants me to ask her what's going on. So I do it.
"What's happening?"
"The usual, mom is working late and dad doesn't call," she rolls her eyes and sighs frustrated. "Why do my parents hate me?"
"They don't hate you" This talk again? "Your mom is... she is what she is, and your dad is not always far away if it seems that there will be something else legal."
"There is always something else legal" it seems obvious to me. I'm like this bone that he and mom fight to get. Sometimes I think it could be a dog or a vase and they would still act exactly the same." I look away." “I would be lying if I said it wasn’t true.”
"They know you're not a dog or a vase" I'm not lying. I think Anna's parents know she exists and that she is their daughter.
I just don't think any of them care, it's not important to them, like it should be and I know it's really hard for her.
I walk over to where she is standing and put my arms around her to hug her. “You are better than them.”
"You think?"
"Completely."
"I would never treat my son like they do, when I have my children, I will make him love me more than anything."
"You shouldn't have to make them love you, Anna. They always will."
"No, sometimes you have to make people love you."
"You can't make someone love you" I laugh.
"Of course you can. Just know what they want it to be and eventually they will" basically manipulation...
"That's... horrible, I mean, but the look on Anna's face was a mix of rage and helplessness. "And what about being yourself?
"Tell me, what's so good about that?" He looks at me seriously. "Look at you for a second, you're small and quiet, so guys never notice about you. That's because they're stupid and only think about looks and things, of course, but still."
"Okay" I remove my arms from around her and return to my seat.
"Don't be sad" I bite the inside of my cheek. "It will be different in time, I'm sure of that. Besides, your parents love you in a crazy awesome way, and you know I love you. If I could have a sister, it would totally be you, but I like to think that we are already sisters. You do not believe it?"
"Yes" Does she try to soften it with a friendly comment every time she says something hurtful to me? but what I really wonder is if there are sisters where one feels like she is the shadow of the other. Yes there is a girl with a sister who sometimes makes her feel like nothing. In that case it would be Anna and me.
"Oh shit, Chris will be here soon" he changes the subject. "Will you wait down here and let him come in for me? I have to go get ready."
"But you look good" I admit that, if I wanted to see Chris, but I didn't want to be alone with him, not yet.
"I have to be Perfect" she smiles. "All you have to do is talk to him for a few minutes.
"Anna…”
"Okay, don't talk. Just do homework with him. You can do that right? We're going to do homework tonight anyway."
"Anna" I repeat, but she ran up the stairs.
"You are the best, you are great Adi!" He yelled at me as I went upstairs.
I grab my notes and look for a place to sit waiting for Chris.
I ended up sitting at the kitchen table, and when the doorbell rings I jump. I go to open the door knowing that I would meet Chris.
"This is new, I always have to ring the bell more than once before..." he finally looked at me and smiled "Ada, hello."
"Hey," he greeted, looking at the ground. "Anna is upstairs getting ready. She will be with us in a few minutes.
"Well," he runs his hand through his hair, combing it back. I could see how the strands of hair were messy. Jamás lo observó tanto, But I've been waiting and regretting that he shouldn't see me here and now he blushes, I want to touch him so much that my stomach is boiling and shaking because of it, my fingers tremble.
"We should sit down" I spoke at the same time he said 'Do you want to sit down?', we both sat down, we smiled at each other at that.
It's Chris, it's just Chris. I can do this, I've known him forever and we're friends, he's dating my best friend. I have to do this, be normal. Stop looking at him so much, stop wanting him Ada.
He pointed to the room in which no one in Anna's house ever sits, and cocked his head.
"I'm really a little scared about that room."
"Me too," I admit, still smiling openly at each other. I can't seem to stop smiling, and he seems happy, like he's glad to be here. I could reach out my hand and touch his. He's so close, I could just touch his hand and slide my fingers up his arm so he'd lean toward me and...
"I'm coming down!" Anna shouted.
Of course, he's happy because he's here for his girlfriend. What were you thinking, Ada?
I walk towards the living room, blinking several times to avoid the tears that burned my eyes, I hear his footsteps behind me.
I sit on the reclining sofa, so he and Anna can sit together, so then they can say 'Ah, my books, I have to go get them', go to the kitchen and avoid seeing them. I will come back and be clean in heart and mind, I swear, I just need a second or two.
In the kitchen, I gather my things and then head over to the refrigerator, resting my head against it. Then I had some cans of grapes and a beer for myself.
I'm calm, I'm relaxed. This will turn out fine.
Although I know it won't be like that.
Silence falls when I give him his soda, a silence I am familiar with, a silence I know. I look at him and notice that he casts his gaze into the distance as if he were looking at me, his throat passing saliva. Anna finally comes down. When she does it I'm sure she must see how hard I try not to look at Chris and how hard he tries not to look at me.
Taking a sip of my beer, my throat feels closed making it harder to pass the intoxicating liquid.
"Hello," he greets us both. "That's what you say when someone comes in, you know that? Why so silence?"
“me” Chris clears his throat “Is that the only beer?” ask.
"That's progress," Anna smiles. "Just for that you earned a kiss!" I notice how Anna leans towards Chris.
But the moment Anna intended to join her lips with Chris's, he stood up and Anna froze.
"I'm going to get a beer," his voice was firm, I rarely heard him speak that way.
"I'm going with you," Anna is quick to say.
"Okay, I'll be right back" then I see him walk past me and into the kitchen.
"Hurry up!" Anna's voice sounded bubbly. “Did you see it? Did you see that?" She approached me, whispering irritably.
"I'm sorry" I wasn't saying it because of what she believed, I was saying it because I regretted kissing Chris, but not that much.
"Don't do it, I'll fix this myself," she stretched her lips and walked into the kitchen.
A few seconds later he heard some sounds, her voice being soft and Chris's voice calm. Followed by a long silence.
Silence of kisses.
I left my beer. I see Chris return, his gaze connects with mine and I notice that in his hand he was holding a can of beer like mine.
"I like this more than grapes," he had something in his eyes, something that made me take a breath.
"Me too, obviously," I responded almost obligatorily, looking at my notes.
"I know" then I look up and see him smile at me. Damn it Chris don't make it so obvious.
Where the hell was Anna? Why does it take so long in the kitchen?
"Did you start reading history?" he asks me, like he's trying to make this all normal, but he knows it's not, it's not normal at all.
"No, I don't have it yet," I replied. "Did Anna call you last night?" I opened my eyes wide looking at him. “The things that happened, I didn't think would happen. But I'm serious..."
"Why are you two looking at each other so intensely?" Then my best friend appears, my gaze almost unwillingly moves away from his and looks at Anna. She was standing in the doorway looking at us. "And Ada I was only gone for a few minutes. Did you think I was gone?" true I called her.
“We were just waiting for you,” I shake my head. “You should sit on the couch.”
"You mean with my own boyfriend?" Chris rolled his eyes. Did he like her saying that? “Are you ready to pay attention to me now?” He sits next to Chris and kisses him.
I concentrate on looking at my history book and open it. I'm not even on the right page, but I didn't care about that. What really matters is not looking at Anna and Chris kissing.
I try not to wonder what he was going to tell me before Anna interrupted, I try not to think about how his mouth feels.
He looked up and Anna was looking bad, but her eyes were worried, Chris isn't kissing her, he's opening his own history book. He gives me a look and then looks away.
"We should get started," he tells his girlfriend.
"I should have known that Ada here would manage to embarrass you and put you in 'studious boy' mode. Ada, you really owe me for taking away my real boyfriend.
"Yes," I held that history book tightly in my hands. "I know I do."
Tumblr media
author's note. If you want to be part of the taglist leave a comment below and I will add you. Thanks for reading, remember to like, share with your friends and leave a nice comment ^^
taglist. @l34n @jetaimevous @jnkvivi @loveyoumatthewbernard @d1tzy-bl0nde @laxbabe131147 @slut4chriss @dontellaf1lms @surniolozzzprincess @sturnlova @inlovewithchriss @whicked-hazlatwhore @mattsgirlsblog @nsjsnshey @always-reading @y-s-a-p @h3arts4harry
42 notes · View notes
lady-phasma · 3 days
Note
AUNTIE! Seeing that me coming across your wonderful pieces written regarding Daemon‘s and Aemond‘s pubes *delicious*:
What do you think, how would they prefer their women to be down there? 👀 Or is it because it’s a medieval setting it’s all hairy and that’s it? 🤭
I love this ask so much! Thank you! I am cackling. These are literally the best kind of asks.
The other asks mentioned are here: Daemon's and Aemond's pubic hair, in a good bit of detail. Most of my followers and moots know that I appreciate fun in a fandom so here we go... Our Targ men and my thoughts on their thoughts about grooming...
Tumblr media
Starting with Aemond, he's very open minded about such things. He might be very fastidious about his own grooming, but he's not shy around a bush. He appreciates the natural and unkempt beauty of all women and respects how they feel most comfortable. If she takes the time to trim or to shave (some or all of it), he gets excited, his eye lights up, and he grins at first sight of her attention to detail.
He's no stranger to having his nose tickled by thick hair nor to the slight pink "burn" on his chin and cheeks from a close crop. He is so enthusiastic about pleasing his woman that he barely notices once he dives in. When it's not up close and in his face, he doesn't think about it again. He might watch while plowing away but he won't notice her hair at all. Aemond only has an eye for how well she takes his cock and the way she enjoys herself.
Tumblr media
Daemon is a different story, however. He's more experienced than Aemond and knows exactly what he prefers. He is no longer impressed by the shaved pussies at brothels, he's seen enough of those to last a lifetime. On the other hand, carelessness with her appearance and grooming is an indication for him that his lady doesn't care about what he thinks. He likes to think about himself, a lot, and needs others to take his desires into consideration, often more than their own. He won't demand it, but he expects a neat and tidy bush. She made the effort to please him and it shows. That drives him wild. He has no medium setting: he's either turned off or feral. Laziness where he is concerned might mean no second helpings. But caring about his preferences would lead to a third and fourth.
Daemon will enthusiastically bury his face in her curls and ignore any potential discomfort - the visual is enough for him. Speaking of visuals, watching his cock disappear into that trimmed and tidy bush is something he can't get enough of! He is incredibly pleased with himself (and his cock), but that extra sign of care and attention to his wants will have him entranced.
33 notes · View notes
Text
They were good kids
This post, but as a fic
None of the kids were in his class. Jace had no idea how they ended up in his classroom so often, but he wasn’t going to kick them out. This was a safe space. It was rare that he had to ask any of them to settle down. He knew some kids thought he was a pushover and maybe he was, but all Jace asked was that they keep the volume down so any other students could also use the space. 
But mostly they sat in the beanbag corner, Ruben watching over Mary Ann’s shoulder as she played some game, Oisin with his nose deep in his spellbook and Ivy doodling. He was a little worried about Lucy. She seemed very… sad. He thought it might have something to do with her divinity and he’d been meaning to speak to Yolanda about it, but he’d never gotten round to it. 
And Kipperlilly… Well, she was definitely driven.
They were good kids.
Jace didn’t know when exactly he’d started noticing a difference. It was sometime early in their sophomore year. They seemed more stressed, more tired. Jace would go into his classroom in the morning to find them already there, huddled around and whispering conspiratorially. On more than one occasion, he’d walked in on an argument which quickly dissipated as soon as he entered.
A few weeks before spring break, he walked into something so fierce they didn’t notice someone else was in the room.
Kipperlilly was standing on her chair, angry tears in her eyes. Lucy sat next to her, rubbing soothing circles into her back and preparing to stop her if she launched herself at Ivy.
“He’s a weirdo, Kipperlilly,” Ivy said. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing.”
“He is helping us,” Kipperlilly argued. “We are a great adventuring party and if we were just given the same opportunities as the Bad Kids then-”
Ivy, Oisin and Ruben groaned.
“Why would we want the same opportunities as them?” Ivy asked.
“They spent most of last year in prison,” Ruben pointed out.
“They killed my grandma’s boy toy,” Oisin said.
“Because we’re better than them!” Kipperlilly cried. “I’m a better rogue than Riz goddamn Gukgak. Lucy’s a better cleric than Kristen Applebees. Fig Faeth doesn’t even go to class.”
“I don’t think it’s a competition, Kip,” Lucy said gently.
“But it is!” They’re getting opportunities we should be getting. And Porter is helping us get what we deserve.”
The hairs on Jace’s arms stood on end. Porter Cliffbreaker. He’d seen Porter talking with Lucy and Kipperlilly in the corridor a few times. He’d never thought much of it. Kipperlilly always looked excited. Lucy was a little less comfortable but Lucy often looked uncomfortable in her own skin. Jace wouldn’t be surprised to hear he was the person behind the arguments. The gods knew he caused enough of them in the staff room.
“I don’t want opportunities. I have enough to study,” Oisin said.
“Why even come to this school then?” Kipperlilly snapped. “You’re ruining things for the rest of us.”
Mary Ann looked up from her Crystal Boy, spotting Jace in the doorway. “Hi Jace.”
The rest of the High 5 Heroes span around. Lucy looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Ruben, Ivy and Oisin looked nervous too but Kipperlilly was just angry. No, raging.
“Hi guys. Everything alright?” Jace said, trying to sound as if he hadn’t been listening.
Lucy looked like she was about to speak when the bell rang for the first period. Oisin vanished in a magical flash. Kipperlilly disappeared by non-magical means. The rest of the group tried to rush out, but Jace caught Lucy before she could go.
“Yolanda will understand,” Jace said. “Lucy, is there something wrong.”
Lucy looked down at the floor, trying to make herself smaller than she was. “It’s nothing. Kip’s just upset. We’re good.”
“Upset about Porter.”
“Not Porter, the others.”
“Lucy, is Porter making you guys do things?” Jace asked. He thought back to last year, when Kalvaxus had used students - one of his students - for his own goals. He didn’t know how he’d missed it before, but he was not going to let it happen again.
“He’s not… making us,” Lucy said, obviously choosing his words carefully. “He’s just encouraging us. But he gets really upset when we don’t do what he suggests. Kip thinks he’s helping. Maybe he’s trying. I don’t know.”
Jace nodded. Sure. Helping.
“Lucy, you know you can tell me anything.”
“I know Jace,” Lucy said with a sad smile.
“Ok,” Jace tried not to look as panicked as he felt. He didn’t want to stress the poor kid out even more. “I am going to talk to Porter. He shouldn’t be putting this much pressure on you guys. He might not even know he’s doing it. We’ll get this sorted out, ok?”
“You don’t need to,” Lucy tried.
“But do you want me to?” Jace asked.
Lucy didn’t reply, still looking down at her shoes. 
“This is my job, it’s not a problem,” Jace said. “Someone’s got to look out for you kids, and the gods know it’s not going to be Arthur Aguefort.”
Lucy gave a small laugh. “Ok, thank you. I should get going.”
She left, heading in the direction of the cleric department. Jace leaned against the door, mentally preparing himself for the conversation he was going to have to have. They were good kids. He was going to sort this out.
37 notes · View notes
lovearthur · 3 days
Note
‘Allo, Love!
I have a suggestion for your ultrafem reader x Arthur request: what if reader plans a nice night for her man, wanting to take care of him. Makes him dinner, setting a pretty little table with a flower in a vase and nice linens. Has candles out, maybe even borrows Dutch’s gramophone for music. She dresses up on her finest. It’s a little too pampered for Arthur’s taste, but she’s so happy to take care of him, pretending they are a proper couple.
Love your style of writing quick little excerpts of Arthur. Makes my heart happy ❤️
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
𝒇𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 (𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒂𝒏 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓)
𝓑𝓔𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔 𝓨𝓞𝓤 𝓡𝓔𝓐𝓓! afab/fem reader . petname use of darlin' and sweetheart . this is short i fear
Tumblr media
u and arthur always talked and dreamed about what life would be like if u all made it. the way u and him would be a proper couple. the couple who could go out and live normally without being on the run. the normal couple who can do what they want without someone alerting the lawmen. and so while arthur was away from camp, u thought a little differently...
today, u were all set. u planned to absolutely spoil arthur rotten. it was only fair. with the number of times he's gifted u things, given u so much praise and attention, commone decency to give one another back.
and that's exactly what u planned to do. he deserved it after all. he'd go to hell and back, making sure his loved ones got the safety they needed, the kindness they deserved. he gave his all, and no one returned that. except u.
it was late evening by the time u were done setting everything. two chairs with a table, beautiful linens on top with plates of food that u made urself! with the sunset in the background, it set the entire scene. exactly how u planned it in that brain of urs. u were even wearing the pretty baby pink dress arthur gifted u a while ago. he just absolutely adored u and always spoiled with every chance he got. u peaked ur attention over to the hitching post as u see arthur and a few others come back. u quickly made ur way to dutch's gramophone and make it all work. only to quickly go back to arthur and wait for him.
the way u locked on each other's eyes so quick made ur heart skip a beat.
he smirked at the sight of u as he made his way over. “yer real beautiful, but what's gotcha all dressed up for?” he chuckled out, looking at u as he wrapped his thick arms around ur waist. “wanted t'surprise ya... to a little somethin'.” she giggles as u kiss his neck before u take his hands, guiding him to ur destined area to the outskirts of camp. “oh no, y'know i can't trust anythin' from ya, ye troublemaker.” he teased, which made u playfully roll ur eyes. “shut up, ya silly man.” u say with a chuckle. a smile graced ur lips as u saw the way his face softened at the sight. he felt... a little overwhelmed. u being the only girl to ever give something in return. and of course, (still the gentleman he is) he pushed ur chair closer to the table before sitting in his chair before u. “ye didn't have to all this, sweetheart-” “oh, hush. i wanted to. y'deserve it anyways.” u said with a smile on ur face.
oh, he felt so happy. so relieved. so... god, he felt like one lucky man having u by his side, no one else like u in the rough world. arthur was used to giving and giving and giving, not getting anything on return. he'd die if it meant his loved ones got everything they wanted. everything they deserved. he was so used to being the giver, bending over backwards to give everything to everyone.
u both had a lovely time. eating, talking, and laughing about anything and everything that came to mind. “taste real good, knowin' that pearson didn't make this.” arthur said with a smile on his face. “pearson ain't thaat bad, hes... okay. just needs more flavour.” u before u both burst out laughing. this felt nice. felt so warm.
it felt like u and arthur were a proper, normal couple.
Tumblr media
32 notes · View notes
deafmangoes · 3 days
Text
After watching Furiosa last night, I was struck by an interesting question with regards to gender roles as they're portrayed in the film's Wasteland. What follows is an attempt to talk about that. Some mild spoilers for the film, but since it's a prequel to Fury Road, it's mostly stuff that's a foregone conclusion.
First I'd like to take a moment to discuss gender, and being transgender. Gender is almost universally agreed on (by those qualified to have input) as a social construct: that is. gender does not exist outside of human thought, and is a set of behaviours and characteristics that we associate and reinforce with each other and ourselves. In most cultures, there are at least two genders: a masculine one and a feminine one. Many others also exist historically and today, as I'm sure you're aware! They are categories we, as humans, have devised and apply to people.
Gender is, essentially, two things. It's what you believe about yourself, and the way you perform in front of others - and the conclusions you make about other people. These are entangled! My idea of femininity as it applies to myself, a transgender woman, also affects the way I view femininity in other people.
It's also necessary I think to briefly talk about sex. To put it neutrally: sex is a cluster of properties that support your anatomy. This can include your genetic karyotype, your dominant sex hormone, your primary and secondary sexual characteristics and many other things. It is not a binary. In humans specifically there are two distinct 'poles' of sex, and a very large spectrum inbetween. No one living corresponds to either pole. They are hypothetical. This is because biology is messy and inconsistent!
Then there's being transgender. In a modern, western context this refers to living a gender role different to the one you were assumed ("assigned") to be at birth based on a doctor's judgement about the appearance of your primary sexual characteristics. Thus you get people born men who live as women, people born women who live as men, and those who live as neither, both, or something else entirely. All these identities are completely valid, because gender is something we create, perform and enforce.
Finally, it needs saying that gender roles vary depending on your culture, and even within cultures will vary over time. Aboriginal peoples recognise 'brotherboys' and 'sistergirls' that overlap with but are not exactly the same as our western notion of trans men and trans women, to name one example.
Okay, got all that?
So, Furiosa is trans.
And this is why I wanted to explain all that up front, because when I say she's trans, I am not saying she's a trans man or a trans woman in the way we would understand that today.
At the start of the film we see a young Furiosa living among her people (her culture) the Vuvalini. They are implied to be matriarchal from statements given in both films. This culture, then, has ideas of gender roles that would be alien to us viewers, and indeed are shown to be different from those elsewhere in the Wasteland. The first non-Vuvalini woman shown in the film is a sex slave. The second is a raider who forces others to see her as equal to men. The Immortan Joe, living in the Citadel, maintains the status of women under his rule as Breeders or Milkers - else they are cast out to the masses below.
Furiosa finds her way into Joe's hands as a child, and because of the way Joe views gender (and sex), is designated a Breeder-to-Be. However, she escapes this fate and disguises herself as a War Boy. She lives in this manner for the next six years, hiding her sex and performing a 'masculine' gender role (which is, fittingly, closer to how she lived as a child among the Vuvalini). A scene during the construction of the Chrome War Rig shows that she specifically goes to urinate alone so that people would not discover her as a 'girl' (behaviour noted as unusual and a little suspicious by one of the Blackthumbs).
She is later revealed to be a woman by Praetor Jack, but for whatever reason this does not bother him (reading between the lines, it's implied that Jack is not a native of the Citadel, and so was probably raised with different ideas of gender than his War Boys). He takes on Furiosa as his apprentice, with Joe's blessing - her status as a woman is now public and known, but she has already performed as a man, so she is perceived as a man. From here on, no one in the film draws attention to her femininity or thinks her lesser for it: she is held as an equal to any of the men of the Wasteland.
This is why I say that she's trans. She is a woman, she does not appear to be dysphoric about being a woman, and among the Vuvalini she would very much be seen as cisgender - but to the people of the larger Wasteland, and the culture of the Citadel specifically, she does not perform the gender roles allowed to women.
I wanted to write about this because it's interesting to me as a way of illustrating gender not just as your internal identity, but as a label applied to you by other people. Nothing in the film implies that Furiosa would ever consider herself a man. She is fiercely proud of her heritage! But she does see herself as different from the Wives, while seeing herself as no different to Praetor Jack.
So when I say "Furiosa is trans", it's actually a subjective statement: Furiosa is trans when she's living in the Citadel, but not when she was a child or after the events of Fury Road when she's killed Immortan Joe and ruling in his stead. The nature of being trans is, pardon the pun, transient, because we can only really be trans when other people perceive us to be! While I wear the label 'trans woman' with some pride, I only do this because society expects me to distinguish myself from those 'born' women. For trans women who pass well enough to live in 'stealth', the label doesn't need to be stated: society sees her as a woman - she is a woman.
It makes me wonder: in another time and place, if I behaved and performed exactly the same way I do now, would I be trans, or would my gender role be considered within the acceptable ones for my perceived sex?
I don't know, but it's fascinating to think about.
27 notes · View notes
Note
Hi!!! I wanna start off with saying how much I love your work. I just find myself rereading ambience and your flufftober one shots. I’ve also read hallucinations a couple of times now. I’m just in love. Second thing was that I feel like you’re a nice person and you’ve probably been told that before because you are very nice.
But basically I had a request for Dad!Bucky just braiding his daughter’s hair perfectly because she didn’t like the way her mother did it. And I just would love to see you write about it.
It’s okay if you can’t by the way. I totally get it.
— braiding —
Warnings: fluff, mentions of minor injuries, hint of angst
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky braids his daughter’s hair.
A/N: Thank you! Some people do say I’m nice (my sister would tell you that I’m too nice but also very much a “meanie” lol). And thank you for reading my work! I loved writing hallucinations, but, idk if you guys can tell, I suck at writing endings. They’re either very abrupt or very cheesy. Anyway, I would love to write about dad!bucky with his daughter.
Can be read with Day Sixteen
“Daddy!” Little Becca was running across the dining room just a second later, socks cladding her feet that made Bucky’s heart race. She had slipped just last week on that one corner close to the stars and bumped her nose against one of the stairs.
It had been one thing to see one of his boys get hurt, but completely another to see his baby girl—a mini you—get hurt. It sounded stupid, to be more concerned for Becca and not the boys, but it seemed to him that even the boys couldn’t help but be protective over their sister. Bucky couldn’t have been more proud of them when they went from play fighting to having tea parties with her.
Bucky’s heart only steadied when Becca came to a stop in front of him in the kitchen, one hand out for him while the other hid something behind her back.
“Daddy! Daddy!” Her curly hair—one thing she seemed to inherit from Bucky—was half done, two very messy braids sticking up in two different direction at the front. She brought out the hand behind her back and shoved a brush into his outstretched hand.
“Can you do my hair?” She asked in her little voice, playing with the front of her baby blue dress. Her words were just a hair off at four-years-old. It was the most cutest thing to Bucky.
Bucky placed his coffee mug down. “Wasn’t mommy doing your hair today?” He crouched down to get to her level, brushing a few strands of hair away from her face with gentle fingers. Her wide eyes and a quickly forming pout made Bucky’s heart clench.
“Mommy was pulling my hair,” she said timidly, eyes averting from Bucky’s face. His eyes flickered up to the movement behind her and his eyes landed on you, crossing your arms and leaning against the door frame between the dining room and kitchen. You shook your head.
That meant that Becca was lying. It wasn’t often she did, but it still didn’t sit right with you or Bucky. Lying wasn’t something you wanted your kids to do with you guys.
“Okay,” he said slowly, picking her up as he got up. You pushed off the wall and silently walked over behind where he sat her on the kitchen island. “Are you sure mommy was pulling your hair? ‘Cause then I gotta have a little chat with her. She can’t be pulling anyone else’s hair.”
You rolled your eyes when he sent you a subtle wink over an oblivious Becca.
Becca wringed her hands together and huffed out a breath, knowing she had to tell her dad exactly what had happened and why she wanted him to do her hair.
“I like your braids a little tiny bit more than mommy’s,” she admitted softly. “Don’t wanna tell mommy that ‘cause I don’t want her to be sad.” Bucky and you shared a glance and a gentle smile in which it was obvious to the both of you that you two had done a good job raising your kids.
“Okay, I won’t tell her,” Bucky promised, holding out his pinky as you walked away without getting detected. “Now, what type of braids are we doing today?”
———
Taglists:
Bucky Barnes: @kandis-mom @yeehawbrothers
Any Marvel Character: @pinkposttragedy
Everything: @gen-genevieve @pigeonmama
38 notes · View notes
k-tarotz · 1 day
Note
can you do wonyoungs ideal type? <33
{ Wonyoung's ideal type }
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
masterlist | Paid readings | Ko-fi
ꢾ𓍢ִ໋ She likes it if someone doesn't let their emotions get the worst out of them, someone who doesn't have anger issues or a harsh/cold personality. She can't handle such people who impulsively yell or even break something in the heat of the moment - she most likely went through an experience that caused this preference of hers at one point of her life; which is why she takes if very seriously.
[This came through a lot by her higher self, it is not a fact and I don't know her personally, I'm really just mentioning what's coming through]
၄၃ She also really likes it if someone knows exactly what they want in life, someone with goals and who is willing to put work and effort into things to reach those goals. Someone with lots passion. Someone who she can make many happy memories
ꢾ𓍢ִ໋ Someone extroverted who has lots of energy and will take her to many different places and dates, regardless respect her boundaries and when she needs alone time. - also someone who will love her rightfully and equally as much as she will love them, nothing less, not someone who will just leave her for someone else or when she goes through a hardship to just leave
၄၃ Her ideal type is also someone who acknowledges her and her hardwork, her talents, her beauty and possibly future things like when she will cook for them! Possibly someone who has words of affirmation as main love language alongside with acts of service and quality time as those are the most important to her
ꢾ𓍢ִ໋ Also someone who is reliable and trustworthy, she would want to be able to open up fully to them even about emotional things so definitely someone who won't tell anything about her to someone else especially not without permission. Definitely someone who respects her boundaries no matter what happens
၄၃ Someone strong and courageous who doesn't mind defending and protecting her if needed, yet let's her be independent as much as she wants. Someone with a good heart
ꢾ𓍢ִ໋ Her ideal type is also someone she can relate to, possibly who made some similar experiences like her or shares some personality traits like her - also s/he should have the same humor as her, she would find it attractive if her s/o can make her laugh and cheer her up also
Tumblr media
Thank you for the request, love! 🤗🩵
Cards that fell out: 10oS, strength, PoS, 2oC, 5oS, 3oC
The dividers aren't from us, credits to the owners
- h
21 notes · View notes
fa-by · 2 days
Text
I LUV IT
Hi babies and dear Anons 👋🏼, me again 🙃. I posted a new Q&A yesterday, and @camrensrealbish (btw hi, bud 👋🏼😄) asked me in the comments if I could create a post just for I LUV IT's two analyses.
@camrensrealbish: “Hi Faby, I love the interpretation of I LUV IT. I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 👌😅. I think it explains so well that this era is not surface-level at all. That thought through lyricism and symbolism is definitely still here. And how we’re so eager to dismiss hyperpop as stupid and without substance, be it for our convictions about femininity or sexuality, or even caution because of how other people use women’s sexuality. But when done purposefully it just shows how showing someone’s sexuality in this way *can* be empowering and authentic. And I think this is the case here. Can you please post your song commentary in a separate post, please? I would like to share it properly 😘”.
I originally wanted to post the two analyses as I did here now, but I couldn't because Tumblr has limited the possibility of posting more than 30 pics and I don't know why the fuck 😤. So thank you, dear 🤗. You gave me the excuse to be able to do it 😉.
Enjoy 😊.
Tumblr media
Hiii to you too, dear Anon 👋🏼😄. I hope you're good too and about your ask, sure 😉.
So. I LUV IT ft. Playboi Carti released on March 27, 2024, is the first single for her fourth LP: C, XOXO. It's a hyperpop/experimental pop song and it samples Lemonade by Gucci Mane and interpolates Cockiness (Love It) by my queen RiRi (Rihanna). The studio recording with Carti was completed on Dec 17, 2023: (Carti's instastory)
Tumblr media
Let me tell you something, this song was meant to shock. She pulled a Yes, and? and it worked 😎. For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to by that, I meant that Yes, and? was Ariana Grande's single for her album Eternal Sunshine and it's a diva house/dance-pop song, which was a different and unexpected genre especially then comparing it to the rest of the songs in the album when it was later released. It's a great song, but if it weren't for the concept that connects to two other songs, it would have nothing to do with the rest of the album musically and sonically speaking. It was a calculated idea to make it different from the rest. It's very smart and it's a good strategy for both a comeback and an album. I feel like I LUV IT is exactly the same thing. An impactful comeback was needed and this, together with the platinum blonde and the new era in general, served the purpose. The song was meant to be talked about for better or for worse. And guess what? Mission accomplished 😜.
This song is not for everyone. There are those who loved it right away, those who hated it and still do, and there are those who hated it and then slowly loved it. In reality, most people hated it and then loved it 🤣. I personally didn't hate it but I didn't love it right from the start either, not gonna lie. I just liked it 🤷🏻‍♀️. But after the third listen? Bouncing ass, tongue out, aaaand I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it 🤣!! This song is definitely a grower! The more you listen to it, the more you become addicted to it 😍.
But anyway. Unlike the video, the lyrics talk about sex. So let's get started. Oh and, of course, I won't include Carti's mumbled Atlanta rap or as his fans say, the Cartinese, simply because he wrote his part.
***Btw, I can no longer listen to Carti’s “Oh, you on the road now? - Oh, you grown now? - Oh, you too grown now” without bursting out laughing 🤦🏻‍♀️🤣. I can't help but hear Nas' imitation of Carti's voice in the HE KNOWS music video🤣🤣🤣. For me, those three sentences have now become just one repeated X3: “Oh, you on the floor now” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣***
Tumblr media
Oh oh oh, last thing before starting. If you're a prude, LEAVE NOW. Skip the whole lyric analysis and go straight to the music video analysis. The song is about sex like I just said and I therefore won't hold back from explaining certain things, okay? I warned you 🙋🏻‍♀️. I don't wanna see complaints in the comments as happened years ago. Thank you.
Song
Verse 1:
“Supersonic, in your orbit”
So, supersonic. One word from which two derive: super and sonic. Super: above the rest, better than the rest. Sonic: derived from the Latin ‘sonus’ which means sound. Super-sound. Basically a loud noise, a sound/sonic boom that (the actual meaning of supersonic:) breaks the acoustic barrier by traveling at a speed faster than the one of sound. A flight can be supersonic. As well as a missile and even a gun bullet.
An orbit is an ever-changing path one object in space takes around another. An unscientific example? A dog with its favorite toy often orbits their owner insistently because they want to play with them. Speaking from personal experience here 🤣.
***Oh and, lil fun fact. In prostitution specifically, orbit was, and perhaps still is, a code word for oral sex***
Ultimately, “Supersonic, in your orbit” means that Mila is this supersonic boom, this let's even say supersonic shock that orbits around her prey. As I've said many other times in my analysis, Mila likes to use wordplay in her songs and this is basically her artistic way of explaining sexual provocation. She's provoking her target.
“And I’m bad, diabolic”
It's giving intense energy and mischief out of the ordinary 😜. She knows she's good at it (provocation). She has a goal (to sleep with her) and succeeds because we have the aftermath of her intent in the next sentence.
“Bottle rocket, on the carpet”
Her favorite lyrics because many people didn't grasp the meaning 🤣. Definition of bottle rocket: a firework typically consisting of a cylindrical case that is partly filled with combustible material and fastened to a guiding stick which may be placed in a bottle to control the direction of the rocket's launch.
In this case, in sex, bottle rocket is the representation of cuming hard in an explosive way.
Rockets have a phallic shape, so the first thing that's assumed here is that it's the sperm that's on the carpet, also because the song acts as straight 🙄, but where's the deception? Even girls can give someone a bottle rocket. How? By being an explosion and not a normal female cum orgasm, with female ejaculation also known as squirting.
Ergo, she's talking about herself. This song is not about sex with a guy and I can even prove that with the next sentence.
“Threw it back and he caught it”
Round two, doggy-style position. Movements: “Threw it back” her ass “and she caught it” with the hands by placing it directly back on the face aka mouth-tongue (clue about the lil fun fact I mentioned earlier) or by directing the entrance of the cave of wonders on the dildo (since Camren loves toys so much 😜🤣🤭). But, given the “he” because, again, the song acts as straight 🙄, the meaning should make you think of the guiding on the dick. But no. As I said before, I can prove it.
When guys cum, it literally takes them a while before they can go again. Some need 10/15 minutes, others hours or directly the next day because they literally physically can't. It's rare anyway that they manage to go beyond the second round (unless they're in the midst of adolescence and are like 14/15 years old 🤣), and those who miraculously can make it, also last very little and their cum is also very little. And mind you, I'm not saying these things to belittle men. I'm not making anything up. It's the pure truth. Not only have I experienced it myself (cause yes, hi 👋🏼, I've been with my gf for 3 years but I'm bisexual and I've had relationships before her), but these are facts that you can even look up if you don't believe me.
It's obviously not the same for all guys and they're all different, but us girls literally need 5 seconds or nothing at all to recover, and we don't have limits like they do. Unlike males, we females can have multiple orgasms. Sexual arousal and orgasm are possible again right away. So no. It's impossible she was talking about a guy.
If she was really talking about a guy, it's impossible that immediately after his Bottle rocket, on the carpet (yet another proof that Mila was talking about her cuming, her squirting) he didn't need some enough available time for round two (Threw it back and he caught it). Let’s move on 💪🏼.
“I go soprano, baby, go down low”
Soprano in music is the highest note, so in this case, going soprano means she's screaming with pleasure. And in her euphoric state, she guides her partner back down there into her buried treasure.
“And when he leads, I gotta follow”
The movements. Like in dance. In partner dancing, there are those who lead and those who follow. They're designed roles to facilitate the movements. The one who leads manages the body of the one who follows and decides the dance steps and direction of travel from time to time.
The thing that makes me laugh about this part is the “when he leads”. “When” 🤣🤣🤣. Because she's the top and she's the one who leads most of the time because Laur's the bottom (even though they're both also switch) so when Lo leads, when, sometimes, occasionally, I gotta follow 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Oh Mila 🤦🏻‍♀️🙈🤣.
“I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral”
She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out).
“I need you now and tomorrow”
And forever.
I’d also like to add a deeper meaning of sex to I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral – I need you now and tomorrow. Although she said the song is about sex, she also said:
“Part of that cocktail is also the emotional drama between you and that person, and the chaos and butterflies and nerves and passion. It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I LUV IT.” – “Now I feel kind of lonely and small and weird, but at the same time, I’m an adult and I feel so strong in other areas of my life, but not this one. There’s just the wrestling of those feelings without it being kind of neat or in a box. You can’t really say that it’s a sad song, you can’t really pin it down. It’s just kind of me wrestling with these feelings and me kind of being really present on a particular feeling and exploring it. I feel like a lot of songs on the album are that”.
So going deeper, “I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” indicate her anxiety. Being on a spiral or simply spiraling, is an emotional state that rapidly worsens in a way that becomes increasingly difficult to control and often leads to short-term periods of anxiety or depression. Aka her OCD gets triggered. Which by the way, I remind you that for her leads to obsessions and repetitive thoughts. And in a certain way, we can also see it in the repetition of the same phrase in the chorus.
So here she's saying: 1) I’m blackin’ out, aka I'm going crazy, I'm freaking out (connection/thing that reminds me a lot of “Am I out of my head? Am I out of my mind?” Bad Things [analysis here (eleventh ask)]) 2) I’m on a spiral, aka I'm anxious, distressed, worried, fearful. Why? Because I don't wanna lose you aka 3): I need you now and tomorrow. This alludes to the desire for connection and intimacy that goes beyond sex.
Both meanings (sexual and deeper) however indicate the intensity of her uncontrollable and erratic emotions towards as she said “that person” Lauren. But she doesn't care. “It’s unsustainable and not peaceful and exhausting, but also, I…?” She…? She what? Sing it all together🎤🎵🎶👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼:
Chorus:
“I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it
I luv it, I luv it, I luv it
I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it
I luv it, I luv it, I luv it
I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it
I luv it, I luv it, ooh
I luv it, I luv it, I luv it, I luv it
I luv it, I luv it, I luv it”
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7…...
Tumblr media
27.   27……
Tumblr media
27 times, huh? 😜 What a wonderful coincidence! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 of all the numbers, precisely the 27. Would you look at that 🤣🤣.
No seriously tho. The words have to fit and respect the tempo of the song, but coincidence or not it's still funny for me 🤭.
Post-Chorus 1:
“Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X2)
Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x2)”
This part was sampled from the song Lemonade by Gucci Mane. Lemons are basically yellow diamonds (known as Canary Diamonds) cut/engraved in the shape of the letter V (an expensive method of cutting diamonds).
The meaning behind that would be that people would “freeze up” in shock at seeing this display of wealth and success, these lemons/diamonds, “in their face”s. They're oh so surprised and intimidated that they even freeze up for this luxury lifestyle thrown in their faces.
Umm………. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Do we really care? Of that? Okay 🤣. About something she didn't even write? Something that she literally took copied and pasted into the song? Pfft, okay. Can we move on? Thank you 🤣.
Verse 2:
“Super twisted, sick addicted”
Twisted: someone who's mentally or emotionally unhealthy or disturbed: sick. --> Sick addicted: someone who's unable to stop doing something as a habit. Ergo, she's saying that she likes/enjoys it a lot and wants to spend as much time as possible doing what they're doing: sex.
Nonsexual meaning: She's using strong words to describe not only herself but also what their relationship is like. They may be twisted, and addicted, and toxic, and all the other things we've seen in their songs, but no matter what, she/they LUV IT, cause they luuuv each other.
“Kiss me hard, someday you’ll miss this”
A dig for all those times they break up or take breaks.
“Meteor shower, in your power”
What's a meteor shower?
The meteor shower is nothing other than what we commonly call shooting stars. These are obviously not stars, but meteors. Meteors are the aftermath of asteroids and comets that ORBITATED the SUN.
Asteroids (celestial bodies composed of rocky bodies) and comets (celestial bodies composed of frozen gases) become meteoroids when they fragment. In turn, meteoroids ignite and disintegrate when they enter our solar system, becoming meteors, ergo shooting stars. Those that don't disintegrate and manage to touch the earth's ground instead become meteorites.
How does a meteor shower happen?
The meteor shower happens when the earth, in its ORBIT around the SUN, crosses an area in which fragments of rock and dust (meteoroids) lost from a comet or an asteroid (celestial bodies made of rock, dust, and ice coming from the outermost areas of the solar system) are concentrated. When an asteroid and a comet heat up as they pass close to the sun, they reach such temperatures that they fragment even more (meteoroids) and when these very tiny fragments enter our atmosphere, they ignite and burn due to friction by generally developing tails, luminous trails (shooting stars) until they vaporize or leave debris (meteorites) behind.
Lil fun fact: some meteorites found on earth come from the MOON 🤭🤣. Most come from destroyed comets and asteroids, but some come from Mars or the moon.
So, after this compelling little science lesson, I can explain what Mila means by “Meteor shower, in your power”.
It's very simple actually. A meteor shower is a celestial event. She's comparing their sex to this astronomical phenomenon, the “Meteor shower”. The “in your power” is due to the fact that Lo’s the one who’s leading as we saw in “And when he leads, I gotta follow” in the first verse.
“Seein’ stars, oh my God”
The retina sends light signals to the brain by making sparks, stars, or flashes of light appear in the visual field. When does this happen? It usually has to do with the head. You've made a movement too fast, like standing up suddenly, or you've been hit on the head, or you're about to lose consciousness, etc. These are all negative aspects, but we're talking about something positive here. Sex.
This amazing sex (Meteor shower), this second round (Threw it back and she caught it), brings her to another orgasm (maybe even another Bottle rocket 🤷🏻‍♀️😏) during which she feels so bewildered, so dizzy, and she experiences this very surreal feeling that overwhelmed her by even Seein’ stars during it. Seein’ stars: to climax, to achieve orgasm.
This can very well be connected with ““I’m blackin’ out, I’m on a spiral” She feels out of control (spiral) because the ending is so beautiful that it almost makes her lose consciousness (blackin’ out)” that I explained earlier.
Oh and, the “oh my God” was her, um 🤣, comment, to express that ending if it wasn't already obvious enough 🤣.
Bridge:
“Slow down, baby”
All of Playboi Carti's “Uh, uh, uh, uh” before Mila's “Slow down, baby”, at least to me, indicate the thrust of the act. Again, he “sings” them to prove the song is straight 🙄, but we know the truth. Anyway. The “Slow down, baby” means exactly that. Either Mila's settling down from the end of round two and needs a tiny bit more time to go as fast as they were going before, or she simply wants this third round to go at a slower pace than the previous one, or better yet, Slow down, baby like in ‘stop, it's my turn now’ (to lead).
Another proof that this doesn't talk about sex with a guy. As I said before, it's rare for guys to get beyond 2 rounds, so let alone a third one 🤣. Sorry, not sorry, but it's literally the truth 🤣.
Tumblr media
And that's it. I luv the fact that Camila's lyrics in this song talk about sex but she uses words that still perfectly capture the magnetic attraction between the two of them. I luv how she's quite unapologetic about it. And I LUUUV how she also used these cosmic references in general, but above all, how they anyway hide in a certain way the two important celestial bodies in our sky and solar system: their representation, aka the moon and the sun.
Now let's move on to the music video where everything that could go wrong happens 👍🏼🤣. What is she trying to convey here? Let's find out.
Music video
Tumblr media
Opening scene. A Robin Hood wannabe who takes coins from his pocket.
Three empty stationary police cars in a driveway while an aspiring lumberjack cop is, for what initially appears to be, cutting down a tree to prepare for winter.
KhaleesiMila enters the scene 5 seconds before she starts singing. She looks like she just came back home from the night before given her outfit and her slightly messy hair. But not her makeup. The makeup is perfect of course because it's still a music video 😉.
She enters the kitchen with a chocolate cake in one hand while with the other she nonchalantly tosses her heels in a spot where it's very usual for us girls to leave them 🤣: at the doorway or in the bedroom on the kitchen counter.
Tumblr media
She starts singing and eating a piece of chocolate cake at the same time.
At the same moment as the first bite of the cake, we have a really well-done perfect transition of her spitting her mouthguard out in a somewhat snobbish but challenging and provocative way because she's ready to fight against a professional female wrestler.
Tumblr media
Soon after we have a 3-second split shot of her chewing the cake in the kitchen again and her and Carti in the gas station, before cutting to a long one where we have the reappearance of the archer from the opening scene.
From this moment on, all the small shots, the little introductions that we initially had, are explained a little bit more extensively with longer scenes and shots. Still messy 🤣, but longer.
Hospital part 1
Now that we see the surroundings, we notice how Legolas wannabe is in the corridor of a hospital and that the coins he took from his pocket in the opening scene, he needed them to get something like a chocolate bar from the vending machine. After taking it, he walks back to a white-dressed Mila who's sitting with an arrow in her heart.
A flash passed before my eyes and for a moment I was back in 2019. Why? Liar. The cover art picture of the song portrays her as an angel with wings.
Tumblr media
Camila explained that Cupid strikes her with his bow to make her fall from heaven and unmask her, by making her not so angelic anymore because she's actually a liar who's hiding something, that is a secret [hmm, I wonder which one 😏😎🤫🤐🤣]. This whole story created for the song inspired the visual for the entire album Romance (whole album inspired by the surrealism of a museum of love stories in heaven).
So I asked myself, what is this? A connection to Romance but direct to Liar? No. I'd say more that she paid homage to it since even though the lyrics are about sex, the ideology of the video is about their toxic relationship and how she knows it's toxic but she LUVs IT anyway.
Anyhow, I guess that at the arrow in the heart scene, you all thought that the Green Arrow wannabe was Cupid. Same thing here, mostly because of the connection with Liar. I initially thought: “Oooh, it's Cupid! Cupid shot her with his arrow, ergo she's in love. But she's lovesick, and because of this the hospital: love - sick”. Then I saw the whole scene (plus the ending which I'll explain, well, at the end 🤣) and I realized: “Nope. Not Cupid. Not Cupid at all. Hi, Lauren 👋🏼”.
Tumblr media
***Let's be clear. This is a music video. A creative and imaginative way of portraying objects, people, and scenarios in general. Yes, it's Camila's POV, but Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life. Okay? Every artist does it. It's art. Literally, as the word implies.***
So, back to the scene. Rewind. Lauren Hawkeye wannabe takes the candy bar from the vending machine and goes back to Mila. *This is the point where I got to before.* He doesn't even look at her. He just sits. Contrary to her who follows him with her gaze as he sits down and she also turns her head to look at him one more time before looking straight ahead.
Tumblr media
That chocolate bar or whatever the fuck it is, it's not even for her. He took it for himself without even having the thought of taking it for her or taking something for her as well. I mean he's like, he's there for her. He went with her and he accompanied her also because he hit her with an arrow. Like yeah, we know that. We can see that. But even though he's there for her, he at the same time doesn't acknowledge or address her at all. He's just there. Present and not. Waiting for her turn.
While she, even smiles with her mouth closed as he's returning to her, but it's a smile I'd say forced. A kind of smile that masks how uncomfortable she feels. It's a wan smile that shows no energy or enthusiasm. It's a stoical ‘grin-and-bear-it because you're used to it after all’ kind of expression. That smile alone makes you understand how ‘normal’ this situation is for her. She's so used to it that it's a standard routine for her. It doesn't come as a surprise.
In a situation like this one, in a hospital, with an arrow in the chest/heart, anger or pain or both reactions are what you expect to be shown by her. But no. She's just there. Waiting for her turn.
Meaning behind this? The arrow in the heart represents a metaphorical way to express the idea that love can be both powerful and overwhelming, capable of causing joy and pain in equal measure. In this case however, the arrow in the heart doesn't represent a tender sweet and romantic symbol of Cupid and Valentine's Day. It represents a heart-piercing emotional pain. In this case, that arrow is nothing more than a heart-stopping arrow through the heart.
Fight & Dogs
In the next scene we have the professional female wrestler again. Like when she spat her mouthguard out in the opening brief shot, Mila continues to have this defiant attitude *she’s so hot there btw 🤤🥵*.
Tumblr media
She shows herself as very self-confident with this superior aura and this cockiness that gives off an ‘I can kick your ass’ vibe. All of this flies out the window the moment the wrestler makes her move against her and Mila shits in her pants and starts running away 🤣.
At the same time that she starts running, we have another perfect transition of a running dog.
Tumblr media
Then we have another very brief shot of her continuing to eat the cake in the kitchen, before alternating the fight with the wrestler and not just one dog running randomly, but her being chased by no less than three dogs 🤣.
These two scenes are connected on the part of running for your life. Literally as far as the dogs are concerned 🤣. And speaking of the dogs, the scene represents the danger and risks of being in love with someone. It represents all the feelings of chaos that go along with it. It represents feeling afraid and helpless with a constant internal battle of anxiety and fear. Being chased by dogs is stressful, scary, and unpleasant, BUT, it's even adrenaline-pumping and the depiction of it, is basically like an excited nightmare that represents not knowing where things are leading. Running into the unknown. She's scared but she does it anyway because the journey is electrifying.
Going back and talking about the scene with the wrestler, the running scared to avoid the actual physical fight is the representation of avoiding the confrontation. And that's something we know Mila does thanks to both her and Lauren. We also know this because in 2016 she herself said that she avoids conflicts with people. It's a vice/bad habit that she's always had.
BUT, no matter how much she tries to run away and avoid this confrontation, it always happens. Sooner or later, she eventually always finds herself having to face the problem unwillingly or not. The representation of this in the video is when she's captured. We actually see this section almost at the end of the video after Carti’s “🎵tursin-eh-oh-and-halloh-eh-halloh-eh-halloh-I'm out o-controool🎵” 🤣🤣🤣. We see the wrestler chasing and catching Mila, which leads to the headlock wrestling move.
Tumblr media
Now let's talk about this section with the headlock that we see both at the end and currently in the first chorus of the part of the video where we are. Specifically this one here. We see several headlocks in sequence, but the one I want to focus on is the second one, where the wrestler is enacting the chokehold with only one arm.
Tumblr media
Like, umm… 🤭 The way you caress her arm and look at her, and the way you sing “I luv it” with your tongue sticking out in that seductive way 🔥.
Tumblr media
I mean... Mila, honey…😏 I see you! 🤣
Tumblr media
No wonder in the BTS of the video she said: “I've been the most excited for this scene all day”. Hmm 🤔, I wonder why is that 🤣🤣🤣. Just as I'm not surprised by the other clue she gave in the interview with Bru On The Radio when talking about the scene: “It's like a little homoerotic. It's cool! But um- * she bursts out laughing by looking to the side* -yeah”.
Homoerotic: 1) (especially of art, literature, drama, or the like) using symbolism, allusions, situations, etc., that invoke sexual attraction or activity between people of the same gender. Example: There's definitely some homoerotic subtext in that book. 2) having sexual attraction to people of one's own sex or gender, especially when that attraction is repressed. Example: To say a man has a “streak of lavender” means that he has homoerotic desires. 3) relating or involving sexual activity between people of the same sex. Specifically: marked by, revealing, or portraying sexual desire between people of the same sex.
I have nothing else to add, Your Honor. I have nothing else to add 😎🤣.
No but seriously now. She doesn't act that way during the other headlocks. In those, she tries to fight back and somehow defend herself by trying to free herself. We see her react in a rather normal way to that type of situation. But in that particular hold? Nope 🤣. We can see how much she likes it. How attracted and aroused she is. The reactions she has during the other headlocks represent her external side, what really happens and what she lets see. While in that particular one, we see the toxicity of what happens in her inner part. The “I luv it” to the choking which on a larger scale, represents her toxicity in loving the pain. Even though they're fighting and she hates the confrontation and is in pain, she LUVs IT anyway because she luvs HER.
***Mind you that this is only an additional representation and seen in a more generic way. I don't see it as fitting to the theme of the music video as much as the one I've already explained to you now.*** A broader meaning could also be the representation of how the love for Lauren is so strong that she can't fight it. We've seen this other times in the lyrics of songs like This Love [analysis here (the penultimate ask)] and Señorita [analysis here (the last ask)] where Mila was having an inner struggle because, on the one hand, she wanted to protect her feelings, and on the other, she couldn't resist her. Ergo, the scene where she tries to fight this love, the professional wrestler, but she loses and thus is ultimately defeated.
House
Next scene we have her continuing to eat the chocolate cake plus this guy who comes in and rides around her house on his motorcycle and she does nothing.
Let's dwell for a moment on her eating.
Where have we seen something like this before (besides the reality of everyday life)? In every damn movie and TV show since forever 🤣. Someone is sad for some X reason like they had a fight with someone, or they're going through a breakup, and what do they do? They eat either something chocolate or ice cream. 90% of the time it's something chocolate related. Why? Because when consumed, it releases endorphins in the brain that produce a mild feeling of euphoria by mimicking the feeling of being in love. This is why chocolate is called the love drug. It gives comfort and joy and when we're down, we emotionally crave chocolate because we're unsatisfied with something.
Her eating chocolate cake in this case is an indication of unsatisfied desires and emotional needs.
Now let's go back to the guy with the motorcycle. He's destroying everything in his path and she's simply there, munching on her cake unbothered.
Tumblr media
He's causing a mess but she doesn't even try to stop him. She doesn't get angry, she doesn't scream, nothing. And why? Because as I said before by talking about that type of smile in the hospital, this situation is ‘normal’ for her. She doesn't react simply because she's used to it. The chaos of their relationship doesn't surprise her also because, I mean, it's been years and years.
The house depicts her head and what happens in it. Him destroying the house is a representation of how she sees his bringing chaos into her life and their relationship. On a deeper level, her not reacting to the destruction of the house represents the fact that she's so in love that she ignores bad and toxic behaviors. The whole scene represents the toxicity and destruction that a relationship can bring into your life but you keep trying because you LUV IT. Lauren brings love, happiness, passion, euphoria, but she also brings chaos which also encompasses mess, confusion, disarray, whether all good or bad. We also saw this type of example in the lyrics of Consequences [analysis here (penultimate ask)].
Successively we have a mix of scenes, among which are the cop one of the opening scene, the car one, and the bathroom one.
Palm tree
We can finally see that this aspiring lumberjack cop is chopping this palm tree because Camila is on top of it.
Now, I have two interpretations for this. The palm tree represents Lauren/their toxic love in both interpretations.
N° 1, she's stuck on the tree. Being stuck represents her way of saying that there's no way out of their toxic relationship even though someone (represented by the cop) or more than someone (since there are 3 police cars even though we only see one cop) tries to get her out of this situation.
N° 2, the one I see as the most truthful, the most right one. She's not stuck on the tree. Mila is Walzing it 🤣🤣🤣 (for those who don't know, Dinah used to call Mila ‘Walz’ and here you can find the reason why the nickname was born). Her koalaing the tree also represents her co-dependence. She's clinging to it and doesn't want to let go.
She's on the very high point of the tree; visual meaning: danger. If she were to fall, she would die or be seriously injured. But she doesn't care. She's ready to risk her life. Deeper for the representation: her love is so strong, that she's ready to risk it (“I'll risk it all”, as we've already seen in Used to This [part of the interpretation that you can find in the analysis of Only Told the Moon here]). She's ready to risk everything/risk it all even if she were to lose her heart and if it were to affect even her mental and physical health as we've already seen in the lyrics of Consequences.
Even in this case, the cop represents someone or more than someone in her life who tries to get her out of this situation. They use extreme ways to do this, representative of getting her down: cutting down the tree. Why? Why doesn't this cop who clearly knows that this person is experiencing some kind of problem call the fire truck to bring a ladder to save her since that's what's normally done in these situations? Or he doesn't go directly and find one himself? Why doesn't he talk to her and try to reason with her to get her down?
Because it's not the first time this has happened. The cop (her family, her friends) is so used to and tired of seeing their on-again, off-again/cycle/loop/circle, that he decides to help her in a more brutal way in this case. Representation: chopping down the tree. It doesn't matter tho. It doesn't matter that other people try to help her in hard ways. She doesn't wanna lose her, and therefore she depicts how even though she knows it's a toxic relationship, she's clinging (codependent) to it and continues to love her because she doesn't want to depart/separate herself no matter what. Reason why we even see her singing “I luv it” while she’s glued to the tree.
Tumblr media
Car
Speaking of falling (and how these two scenes are connected). Instead of that tree, here we see her having fallen over a car. Part of the car is destroyed, as is she. It's a representation of being in love and how it can sometimes destroy you. But again, we even see her singing “I luv it” because she doesn't care.
Tumblr media
She doesn't care about falling and being crushed by/for her. They've taken a lot of risks over the years. They've suffered, they've hurt each other, and they've fallen down and gotten up every single time. And those wounds, in the video are represented as real wounds with cuts, bruises, gashes, and all that jazz.
She doesn't even care when we, the public and the fans, see her destroyed like that. We've seen it many times, especially after years and years spent growing up in the public eye. By this, I'm obviously referring to the woman who's immortalizing the scene with her phone.
Tumblr media
Although that, it's also a representation of what would actually happen in today's world: instead of helping or calling an ambulance, the woman is filming or taking pics.
Bathroom & Bedroom
Contrary to the connection that the tree and the car scenes have, this one is connected to the ones of the dogs and the professional female wrestler.
We first see her in the bathroom. She looks in the mirror and even lifts her shirt up to look at her belly. Let's say normal things that we all do, and so far, nothing strange. Then we also see her perplexed and undecided tho (when she sighs with her finger in her mouth). And we see her rehearsing. We see her change her expression to a determined one and make the gun gesture with the fingers of her hand.
***Sorry but I have to tell you guys 🤣🤣🤣. I found it extremely funny how she made the gun gesture with her fingers precisely at “someday you’ll miss this”. THIS and bam: fingers out 😏😎🤣.
Tumblr media
I'm sorry, I'm sorry 🤣🤣 one day she'll miss, what, Mila? Your gay fingers?🤣🤣🤣 Oooooookay 😉🤣***
Back to normal. All that represents her mentally preparing herself, and for what? For what we then see in the bedroom. Before heading there, we can see her expression of determination but more importantly, we can see her pissed-off expression.
She walks into the bedroom with this imaginary automatic machine gun that she uses to shoot and destroy the bed. As she does that, the footage also shows us the rest of the room, and what do I spy with my little eye 🧐? A frame hanging on the wall. And what's in that frame? Five boys with the word ‘sorry’ written on their backs.
Tumblr media
Wait a second, wait a second… FIVE???? 😲 Five as a reference to Fifth Harmony? 😱 Five as in 5H because it's a hidden clue to confirm that she's talking about Lauren? 🤯 WHAAAAAT??? 😵
Yes, guys, yes. For those who haven't noticed, the answer is yes. Camila doesn't do things shittily. There's always meaning in the things she does, whether it's hidden or not. And if anyone tries to tell you otherwise or something different about that clue, don't be fooled. Why 5? Explain the 5 otherwise? They could've used a thousand different things like, for example, an apology/sorry note left on the bedside table, or even just one guy with sorry on his back in that frame since all of this is supposed to be straight and about a guy 🙄. But no. They used FIVE of them specifically.
Moving on.
The rehearsals she was doing in the bathroom that we later saw lead to the destruction of the bed with the imaginary automatic machine gun, were all due to Mila being pissed off about something Laur had done. Something we know thanks to the not-so-hidden apology message in the frame. Now I don't know about you 🎤🎶but I'm feeling 22 🎶🎤 sorry but I had to 🤣 but I know that even though Camila is magical, she doesn't really have powers 🤣. So even though this is the representation of her being pissed at Lo, she didn't actually shoot the bed. It was all in her head. She was just imagining doing it. Yeah, she was angry, but we also know that she'd run away in reality to try to avoid conflicts as we saw in the scene with the dogs and in the scene with the wrestler (aka Laur herself), during which, however, we also saw that the wrestler captures her and that therefore Mila was then forced to face.
Hospital part 2
During the mix of these three scenes (Palm Tree - Car - Bathroom & Bedroom) just discussed, we have two small shots of Mila in the hospital. The first during “oh my God” and the second during “I luv it”.
We see her looking in one direction before saying “oh my God”. It's an exasperated “oh my God” because no one's assisting her yet.
Tumblr media
She sings “I luv it” by tapping her finger to her temple in rhythm but we can see how impatient she's starting to get for the wait. Yeah, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, she luvs it, but she's irritated and frustrated.
Tumblr media
Gas station
Mila and her friends pull over into this gas station. A guy with long hair immediately approaches to serve them, but instead of refueling the car as we normally expected, he does it to them. He takes the pump and fills their glasses with gasoline, even though we know very well that it was actually nothing more than “some disgusting water-down apple juice”, according to Mila herself.
All this during “Lemons on the chain with the V-cuts (X4) - Lemons in their face, watch ’em freeze up (x4)” Oh well, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade Camila Cabello drinks gasoline 🤣.
Tumblr media
Sorry, sorry 🤣. Joking aside now.
Drinking alcohol produces euphoria. It's stimulating, exciting, and lowers inhibitions and control. It's intoxicating, and although this word usually indicates something positive, it can also represent something negative especially when associated with alcohol. Drinking alcohol is intoxicating in a good way, but if done too much, it's intoxicating in a harmful way. In this case, alcohol is the representation of another hyperbolic metaphor. It's yet another concept represented in an exaggerated way. Gasoline, fuel, or whatever the hell it was, is obviously toxic. Ingesting it is dangerous. It's yet another representation of their toxic relationship and tendencies and how she doesn't care going against all common sense because she LUVs IT.
There would also be another possible meaning behind this scene due to Playboi Carti's verse. He talks about drugs (Novocaine and Mary Jane), luxury cars (Lamborghini Aventador SVJ), and rebellious life in general.
Novocaine is a drug used as a local anesthetic normally by dentists. Mary Jane is the literal English translation of the name Marijuana. Spanish: Maria/Mari. English translation: Mary. Spanish: Juana. English translation: Jane. Ergo, Marijuana: Mary Jane. In the past when drug users talked about marijuana, they called it Mary Jane so as not to arouse police suspicion.
I explained all this because specifically his talk about drugs made me think of a different possible meaning behind this scene. You see in the US, many drug dealers operate out of gas stations. Mila and her friends are getting gas at the gas station. In slang, ‘gas’ is a noun made popular by rappers to refer to weed/marijuana.
It might be that the scene has both meanings. Alcohol for her and drugs for him. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️. Maybe we would've seen it for real if Carti hadn't arrived late for the video shoot. But anyway.
Right after that, we have the dance scene. I have two interpretations for that even here. Both true.
The first one: Don't expect me to say sweet and predictable things like that she's dancing hypnotized because she's drunk on love 🤣. Nope. The blindfold is supposed to represent how blinded she is by love and shit, right? The typical phrase ‘love is blind’ that makes someone unable to see the flaws of the person they love. True, but at the same time in her case, bullshit tho. Buuuullshit! Because we saw throughout the video how she's aware of everything.
She chose to put the blindfold on and dance freely whether it's just for fun or distraction or to literally dance the pain away. She chose to put it on to ‘not see’ the flaws, the toxicity, and all the negative things. She knows. She knows they're there. It's just her choice to ignore them because, once again, she doesn't care because she luvs it and her.
The second one: Based on the getting gas in the previous shot, whether it's just alcohol or whether it's also marijuana, that's why right after that scene we see Carti with his hoodie backwards (it's literally backwards, look closely) before he starts singing and Mila and the girls dancing together blindfolded with X’s over their eyes.
Tumblr media
It represents the beginning of the effect. 😵: literally the dizziness of drunkenness and/or stonedness. In a deeper way, it represents love being a drug/addiction to live to the fullest (dancing).
Again whether it's just alcohol or weed, that's also the reason why at the end of the video they're both comfortable and relaxed in eating calmly as if they don't have a care in the world (despite the video being completely the opposite). Both alcohol and weed increase hunger and appetite, sometimes leading to strange and uncontrollable cravings. That represents half to almost the end of the effect.
Hospital part 3
She's still waiting. She's still waiting for someone to help her remove that fucking arrow from her chest. The whole reason she's been there waiting for probably hours. Nurses even walk past in front of her but still no one assists her. As before, she's still annoyed, but now she's also discouraged and sad. Not only that, but the male version of a Katniss Everdeen wannabe is also gone. Representation of a breakup or one of their breaks. Mila's alone, and suddenly, the wound begins to bleed.
Tumblr media
In this case, the arrow through her heart symbolizes feeling emotionally hurt. Since loving someone is not always a walk in dreamland, but it also consists of twists and turns and can really fucking hurt you, here we see how her heart starts dripping blood. The bleeding can also represent how toxic relationships leave you in the end. Again, love is pain but she LUVs IT.
Thing more important, the wound begins to bleed because she's no longer with her. It didn't do it the entire time Laur was with her, but her heart started to bleed in pain only after she left. Representation of how her heart, although already wounded (arrow) by her/for her, cannot bear to be without her (bleeding). As I also explained in my This Love’s interpretation, the choice over the years has often been between having her and suffering, or not having her at all, and as we know, she always chose her.
The end
So, that was the music video. It gave me Miami and Florida. It gave me GTA and crack house feelings 🤣. It gave me wildness and adrenaline. It gave me roller coaster. It gave me college students traveling for the holidays/Spring Breakers movie. *For those who don't know what I'm talking about 👇🏼*
Tumblr media
Especially here with this promo.
*Last minute edit: she just said Spring Breakers is one of the inspired aesthetics for the new era*
She in specific, gave me addicted to pain. She gave me impulsiveness. She gave me a fast-paced lifestyle, full of passion, desire, and disregard for consequences. She gave me vibe. She gave me boujee. She gave me dance. She gave me actress and humor as has also happened in other videos in the past (although less than those ones) such as for example Havana, Liar, My Oh My, Bam Bam, Don’t Go Yet, etc. (it's not the first time Camila's been in ridiculous situations in her videos). She gave me chaos begets chaos, and in order to maintain sanity, one must embrace the insanity. Or in her case, a palm tree 🤣🤣🤣.
I mean, all in all and in its complexity, I really enjoyed it. She said the theme of the video is chaos and danger, and we saw that. In the interview with Bru On The Radio, still talking about the video, she said: “This complex feeling of loving the pain of something, or loving the messiness of something, or loving the chaos of something, really kind of like finding the beauty in that part of our humanity”. And we saw that too.
And as if it wasn't clear enough already, the video is an artistic representation of the toxic tendencies and behaviors of their toxic relationship in general throughout all these years. And yes, their as in both of them, not just her as in Lauren's. I told you guys in the beginning that it's Camila's POV and I explained that Lauren isn't that bitchy and dickish in real life, but we don't just see Laur's toxic tendencies and behaviors from Mila's POV in the video. We actually see Mila's a lot more. Let me explain.
We saw how Laur brings chaos into Mila's life and their relationship (house scene). She's hurt her (shot her with an arrow through the heart), she doesn't acknowledge her in the hospital, and she also leaves at the end. The leaving her there (breakup or break) in those conditions as well as not taking something for her too from the vending machine is a neglect; another trait of a toxic relationship. That's all. That's what we see as far as Lauren is concerned. Mila on the other hand…
She's the one who's unbothered, especially in the beginning, in having an arrow in her heart, aka being hurt. She's the one who doesn't react when Lo destroys the house, aka when Laur has toxic behavior towards her. Still her the one who runs away from her problems so as not to face them and avoids conflicts (dogs and wrestler). In fact, if that's why, I wanna put in a good word for Laur in this case since she fights her by forcing her to confront her, aka talk about their problems. Still Mila the one who uses an imaginary automatic machine gun to shoot and destroy the bed symbolically in her head just because she’s angry with her. She's the one who crashes herself on top of a car and risks her life on other occasions with the dogs, the palm tree, and by drinking gasoline. I mean, see what I mean?
Who's the most toxic one we see here? And again, this is just a video. Not the reality. I feel like I always have to specify these things with you guys because one never knows you misinterpreted it 🤣. But anyway. I'm happy Mila did it. I'm happy that Mila represented even her toxicity since for many years due to her songs people only and always blamed Lauren. It's something I've been saying for years 💁🏻‍♀️. They both have their faults. There are two people in the couple and there are always two sides to a story. Not just one.
In any case, that's it, dear Anon. I hope you enjoyed both analysis 🙃.
🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍
Aaand I'm done 👅. Thank you all for your asks and I hope I've been helpful this time too 🙃. As usual, I'm always available for those who have questions, so ask away 😄.
Remember to be nice. Always. Both with others and with yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼. Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️.
22 notes · View notes
incandescentflower · 2 days
Text
Things I am still curious about/clamoring for as we keep going with Wandee Goodday in no particular order:
(some things we know will happen, others are mere speculation or what I personally want to see)
-Finding out what happened to Dee's parents. And does it have to do with his flashback he had on the crosswalk? If not, what is that about?
-Finding out what exactly happened to Yak's mother. Is there hinting that Dee's family had an accident related to Yak's mom's death - maybe, maybe not -there were emergency sirens but that could be from heart attack or other acute emergencies - there was no sign of external injuries during that scene, but anyone who watches dramas knows that these kind of coincidences are common to set up conflict
-Getting to know the deal with Yak's father (and step-mother, who is in MDL credits)?
-Finding out who Luke is playing?? I can't even fathom at this point.
-MEETING KAO'S LOVE INTEREST (I will not ask if there will be one and will flip tables if he doesn't get one.) I will die laughing if it is Luke because that seems so weird to me, but shows have surprised me before. Still rooting for you, rando handsome bodyguard.
-More grandma time. We are getting to see her next episode and she needs to hang around more. I want her to become Yak's cool grandma too, no question.
-Taem helping Yak face his feelings. I think Yak already knows pretty well, but I think he thinks Dee doesn't return them so he's better off trying with Taem, which if true, is a little funny because Taem is the one who has clearly given Yak an answer. But that means his whole scheme is pretty safe, actually. He says he doesn't want to risk losing her but he already knows he won't. Dee on the other hand...
-I would specifically love to see Yak confess to Taem and come to fully understand in the process how he doesn't feel for Taem anymore the way he feels for Dee.
-I can't wait for the Thai travel ad episode where Cher and Yei get to go on a couple date with Yak and Dee. Just more Cher and Yei in general, kthanks, show
-I am seated for the moment when Yak realizes that Ter is going after Dee and gets pissed. Yak is one who is so calm that him getting truly angry is something to look forward to with interest. This Yak seems very different from pilot trailer Yak in that regard and I want to see if that holds up. I'd like a little Yak jealousy, but mostly I want to see Yak standing up for Dee because based on how he is characterized I think his biggest problem is going to be that Ter still seems to be jerking Dee around and Yak won't have it.
-I want to know if Dr. Kwan realizes that Ter is a lost cause and steps away? I keep trying to understand what purpose she serves besides being one of only a few significant female characters. She made Ter's claim he liked women seem more plausible for a few episodes, but I hope she gets to have more agency.
-I want to see Dee going to cheer for Yak at the ringside so badly. Bonus, Dee braiding Yak's hair (or unbraiding) or some wound care. There may have been some foreshadowing of Yak getting more seriously injured like a concussion - they talked about the risks of him going up a weight class and I was like hrm.
-I will be so happy to see Dee going to Yak's graduation. The pilot trailer hammers on Yak not wanting to be a boxer. There's signs that is still a thread in the drama. I think we'll find out more what Yak really wants for his future. I'd love to get more of that in detail and not a broad brush.
We have far to go, but putting this all out there makes me hope that they will do these plot points some justice instead of taking some random turns that are out of character. I'm so interested to see how all these stories unfold.
I will continue to be mulling this so any other speculations, hopes or observations are more than welcome. :)
22 notes · View notes
sailorsplatoon · 3 days
Text
New dedfour chapter incoming!!! This one's a little more mundane, but it's important to the storyline!
First (prologue)
Previous
Next (TBA)
Read it on ao3!
(Fanfic under cut)
“I found my way into the Deepsea Metro because I was trying to find a club to DJ in. I guess my music eventually caught the attention of…” Acht’s voice trailed off and they waved their hand in the air, trying to indicate who they meant rather than say the actual name of the telephone that had controlled them, as if they might resurrect it from the dead. “It offered for me to be able to focus on nothing but my music. I was kind of doing that already, so I said yes. I can’t really remember much after that, but then I showed up here and I was myself again.” Four listened attentively. They’d been talking about what the two of them had been through for some time now. Neither were ready to leave 21F. Pearl, Marina, and Eight seemed content to stay as well.
“How do I know that I chose the right world? Like, there’s one side of me that’s screaming for order and one that’s screaming for chaos and I can’t tell which one is real.”
“There is no one that’s the right one, just different parts of your life. Being sanitized, or I guess greyscaled in your case, is just going to be a part of you now. It’s hard to accept that something bad and scary happened and that you’re never going to be the same afterwards, but if you can’t come to terms with that then you’re just stuck in this in between space. What you have to decide is which version of you is the one you want to be. It doesn’t matter which one is right or wrong, just that you’re happy.”
“Are you happy?”
“Oh that’s a big question. I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out together.” Acht stood up and offered Four their hand. They took it and Acht pulled them up. “Let’s get back to the elevator. We’ll keep climbing and you’ll be able to get more of your memories back.”
“Yeah!” Four smiled. They bared their teeth when they did, and their entire face seemed to light up. Acht felt their hearts thumping in their chest. That was new, most of the time their organs didn’t work at all. They didn’t even need to breathe, yet right now they felt short of breath. They could only hope Four didn’t notice their palms sweating. What was happening to them? Sanitization was a total loss of emotion, but now Acht felt the exact opposite— a rush of every feeling in the world all at once.
The two entered the elevator and Acht pressed the button for the next floor. Four and Pearl left moments later to begin the challenge. 
“Marina? Can I ask a question?” Acht typically wouldn’t go out on a whim like this, but they needed answers.
“Sure thing, Acht. What do you need?” Marina seemed excited. She knew whatever Acht needed to ask would be really interesting.
“How do you know you’re in love with Pearl?”
“Oh where do I begin! Being around Pearlie makes me feel better than I do when I’m with anyone else. It’s like I can really open up around her. Just thinking about her makes me blush. She always knows exactly how to make me happy and she cares about me so much. And when she sings it feels like my heart is singing in harmony with hers! And her eyes are some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. And when she sets off her Killer Wail…” Acht had slowly stopped listening. They should have known Marina would end up talking about Pearl endlessly. 
As if summoned by Marina’s gushing, Pearl and Four came back into the elevator.
“Whatcha talkin’ about?” Pearl did a little flip as she entered the lift. Four followed close behind.
“You and how wonderful you are.” Marina smiled at the drone.
“Aww well if you’re gonna talk about me then I guess I have to talk about how wonderful you are.”
“Here we go again,” Acht thought as they pressed the button for 23F. Again, the elevator dinged and Pearl and Four left to complete the floor.
“Soooooo Acht! Why did you want to know how I know I love Pearl?” Marina asked.
“No reason. Just curious.” Acht tired to dodge the question. 
“No I think there’s a very good reason. Acht do you think you might be… ooh I’m too excited to say it. Eight, help me out here!” Marina squealed.
“Are you in love with Agent 4?” Eight grinned. He was a sucker for a good romance.
“Hey look I think Pearl and Four are almost done.” Acht looked out the elevator doors at the two. They were no where near done, but Acht needed something to distract Marina and Eight.
“Don’t think you’re getting out of this conversation so easily. We can pause for now, but this isn’t over,” Marina said before turning her attention to Pearl just as she set off a Killer Wail.
“That sounds like a threat.” 
“Maybe it is.” Eight flashed a mischievous smirk. It seemed like he was getting more comfortable around Acht. They weren’t sure if that was good or bad.
“Does it even matter if I like them or not?”
“Of course it matters! Acht, you have to tell them how you feel.” Marina emphasized each word.
“I haven’t felt anything in a long time, Marina. How do I know if the way that I’m defining this is even right?” Acht was very ready to be done with this conversation. But at the same time, the thought of telling Four they love them made Acht’s hearts thump even harder than they already were.
“You remember your brother, right? And your dad?” Marina pressed.
Acht was silent.
“It’s not the same kind of love, but you still love them. You know what love feels like, Acht. And I know that you don’t fall in love easily, you have to have the right person. I think Agent 4 is your right person.”
As Marina finished her sentence, Pearl and Four came back into the elevator.
“Welcome back you two.” Acht rushed their words.
“Four absolutely rocked that floor, they took down those Jelletons like it was nothing!” Pearl was enthusiastic. Now that Four had most of their personality back, they were way more fun to fight alongside. “Let’s head to the next floor and get them back out there, they’re on a roll!”
“Great, let’s get you to 24F.” Acht clicked the button and the elevator continued onward.
As Four set their chip into their palette, they jumped slightly in surprise. “Holy fuck!” they shouted before turning to face Eight and wrapping their arms around him. “I’m sorry I forgot about you. And I’m sorry I tried to kill you.”
Eight hugged Four back, saying, “It’s okay. I missed you.” Acht couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy at how affectionate Four was towards him.
The two let go of each other and Four turned to Pearl and Marina. “I remember the both of you now too. I don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, Agent 4. What happened wasn’t your fault at all. If anything I should be the one apologizing.” Marina twisted the bottom hem of her jacket.
“That doesn’t mean I didn’t try to murder all of you.”
“And that doesn’t mean it wasn’t my fault.”
“I don’t blame you at all.” Four gave a small, sad smile before looking over at Acht. “I still don’t—”
“You wouldn’t.” Acht interrupted. “We’ve never met before. I’m Acht. I know we’ve already done introductions, but you’re more you now.”
“Nice to meet you, Acht, I’m Four. And thank you for all your help earlier.”
Acht didn’t know what to say for a moment. Then they muttered, “You’re welcome.”
17 notes · View notes
professor-pucefoot · 2 days
Text
Tumblr media
So the upd8 said some FASCINATING things about Jake, but I want to talk about Jane for a sec. There are plenty of things in HS2 that I don't love but think they're interesting to explore, but their take on Jane is still one that I struggle with, even if it's part of a larger narrative plan we haven't seen yet. So reading this line alone was... so validating. Such a relief.
We're also given some good fodder for analysis. When Jake suggested to Jane that she was a bad mother, she took that in basically right away instead of fighting back. She's not beyond hope (or Hope?). What I also find interesting is her conversation about her relationship with Jake, where she essentially says she loves him exactly as he is whereas Dirk always wanted him to change and improve. Clearly, never expecting your partner to grow has its problems and shows some of Jane's dependency on having Jake around - but at the same time, I thought it was a compelling statement on her love for Jake. Entering a relationship with someone who always wants you to be changing, and more importantly, tries to force that growth upon you, is a frustrating place to be where you will never feel good enough. This would especially be a wedge for someone like Jake, who has stated numerous times in this update alone that he does not want to change. Jane is offering him the chance to come as he is and to be loved for all of the flaws he sees in himself. It's overwhelmingly obvious that this does not automatically make for a healthy relationship, but it does demonstrate the difference between Jake's relationships with Jane and Dirk. It's like Jane never stopped having her teenage love for her crush where what is most important is simply that they are together.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This section was more affirmations that this simply is not Jane's natural character! Which is such a relief to have the narrative acknowledge. I think this discussion is also building to something that is to come.
Earlier in this conversation, we see that Jake is the one who cured Tavvy of his peanut allergy - which he doesn't realize! Directly after we see Jake using his Hope powers to change a person's reality, we lead into a discussion on how Jake wants to believe in a better Jane. Maybe she'll never decide to change, but Jake still sees better realities for Jane and believes in those.
So, when Jake goes to kill Jane... Do you think he'll Hope that better Jane into existence instead?
15 notes · View notes