#theyre so fucking pretty and handsome i cant even

[justfranzz]

FUUUUUCK women with ties. Women in suits. Women in pants and button up dress shirts. Women with little bow ties. Women with BELTS oh my GOD. Women with. Just women

#if i wasnt already gay? #id be having a gay awakening right now #WOMEN #oh my god #i love women #gay #homosexual #fruity #queer #im just. im so fucking gay #wannt to. kiss women #theyre so fucking pretty and handsome i cant even #gay panic #aufgh #shitpost #textpost #misc

[loveregrown]

I believe in Tsumugi healthy weight gain I've talked about this so many times but I love to think that he was underweight as a child and into his early teens (he already had a comically large frame he was lanky like beanpole) partially due to his living situation & the neglect partially due to the depression & how truly hard it is to eat sometimes. And now he's big and soft like a teddy bear. Want to bite a chunk out of him...

#❀ #I think he's fit. I think tsumugi is fit. but he has a nice soft tummy still and is just a really handosme young man. #I love that tsumugi was verymuch is handsome both by idol & jp man standards & he was literally bishonen as fuck during exfine. #boyish and androgynous with pretty curly hair. #and hes just like actively choosing to make himself ''uglier'' with his long hair and thick glasses. but I think it makes him cuter. i thin #it does #ibrecause first of all glasses arent ugly even if his model are and theyre not even the right grade and hes just neurotic and cant handle #and go get a new one and thats like cute to me. #And long hair is so pretty and ncie to braid and also its because of his gay ass promise #well..whatever. #well.. fit in temrs of appearance.... but like he did almost die carrying hiyoris shopping bags in his idol stroy so. #espost

[privitivium]

I love how mom!yan and father!yan hate each others guts but will try their best because it pleased reader. I love when they'll do everything for reader even tho they hate it. This is the kind of yan! I like bro..

I need alpha mom!and father!yan fight each other for alpha reader bcs alphas are possessive little things and they like showing dominance.

Like imagine you, having two succesful pretty alphas hot on your tail. People are so jealous, esp when they see those two so possessive over you, trying to assert their dominance between each other.

In bed tho they're still trying to one up each other, but the game changed into who can be most obedient and please you the most <3

alpha motherly/fatherly yandere x alpha male reader

yoouuuuu fucking get it. cw;; breeding / mentions of turning one of them into an omega but not actually, nsfw in general.,,,

i feel like it'd be hard dealing with them bro. two fucking alphas horning over you as an alpha yourself - the only one whos levelheaded out of the two. you'd expect mother to be tame, to act cordial, yes but at the same time ,,, his senses go crazy when he gets a whiff of that pungent ass seaside, larch scent you have,,, he feels threatened that he doesnt have a chance w you when he gets a whiff of fatherly around. something minty. spearmint with a spice,,, cinnamon? mother is rainy, lemon grass. i feel poetic.

ㅡalso mfs being mad fucking jealous of you ???? like, they'd think that these two powerful alphas wouldnt spend their time fawning over another alpha... jealous just cuz ur all hot n have two equally handsome busty ass bitches after you. you have them right under ur fucking fingertips,,, playing w them, teasing them... especially. if you get too close to a cute lil omega,,,, w a delicious scent ,,,, theyre mobbing you. mugging you. demanding that you kiss one of them while stroking them while fucking the other passionately. YEAH.

ㅡESPECIALLY in bed theyre trying to "one-up" each other. but then it just turns into you dominating them instead. trying to please you the most, but their instincts usually take over for a split-second............

;; bro,,, i can imagine them straight fucking brawling in-between trying to have sex w you. like raaggh i want his dick first ragahhhg LMFOAOOO you gotta fucking reprimand those mfs into SHAPE. cant stop imaginign ,,,, taunting them ..... because they dont have wombs in this,,,, breeding mother, pumping him load after load while having father off to the side in a "timeout" because he was the one instigating. you'll deal w him after... ur good to your fellow alpha lovers afterall!!!

ㅡi feel like,,, they'd fight. for dominance with you first, out of instinct before quickly submitting ,,,, perhaps. go along with this.... fucking a drooling n sobbing father into the bed in a mating press and calling him ur sweet omega whps taking your load so good and narrowly missing his maw as he tries to snap at you - instinct ... he's a strong man, and he has to show it. obviously you make him choke on his fingers for even thinking he could do such a thing........

ㅡ"you wanna bear my pups, huh? be all swollen with my fucking kids? huhmm?" grunting so animalistically and burying him into the bed with ur fat cock stretching out his hole so painfully,,,. mother resisting the urge to fight back to dominateㅡresisting because he generally loves being teased but it brings tears to his eyes because yes he does want to bear ur pups................

-nd father sobbing in the corner n jerking his hips up and down trying to stimulate himself while binded,,, his cock all aching n weeping in pain from being ignored,,,, the smell of ur scents combined so pungent, fuck you pray no one is walking their pet down the street. LMFAOO

#motherly yan! #fatherly yan... #x male reader #alpha male reader #alpha yandere

[toaster-trash]

Volume III Chapter IV/V of the original 1818 text of Frankenstein lives in my brain rent free. I need to rant about Clerval’s death or I’ll loose it. (It’s late and I’m exhausted rn so my ass is NOT as coherent and structured as it could be but fuck it we ball)

“He appeared to be a handsome young man, about five and twenty years of age.” MY PRECIOUS BOY

“(…) having brought the body into her house; it was not cold. They put it into a bed, and rubbed it; and Daniel went to the town for an apothecary, but life was quite gone.” HE MIGHTN’T HAVE BEEN DEAD WHEN THEY FOUND HIM BUT IT WAS TOO LATE

“I saw the lifeless form of Henry Clerval stretched before me. I gasped for breath; and, throwing myself on the body, I exclaimed, “Have my murderous machinations deprived you also, my dearest Henry, of life? Two I have already destroyed; other victims await their destiny: but you, Clerval, my friend, my benefactor”——

The human frame could no longer support the agonizing suffering that I endured, and I was carried out of the room in strong convulsions.

A fever succeeded to this. I lay for two months on the point of death (…)” THE WAY VICTOR REACTS TO AND SPIRALS FROM CLERVAL’S DEATH IS SO MUCH MORE SEVERE THAN ANYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENS TO HIM and it’s also an extremely interesting character study to see what happens when the only person he ever really seemed to have a mutual loving and healthy relationship with gets cut out of the picture – Victor’s had his fevers, he’s wallowed, but he always had Clerval to draw him from his wallowing and to nurse him back to health. So what happens when Clerval’s death is the cause of that anguish? THE DRAMA THE ANGST I love these silly little gothic losers to death but watching Frankenstein grieve over the passing of who was pretty much essentially his lover is fascinating to me and it SHOWS how much Frankenstein adores Clerval through the latter’s death. THE MAGNITUDE OF HIS GRIEF IS A TESTAMENT TO THEIR LOVE oml i can’t rn frfr THEYRE SO GAY AND SO GOTHIC I CAN NOT

“Why did I not die? More miserable than man ever was before, why did I not sink into forgetfulness and rest?” “I thank you; but all that you mention is nothing to me: on the whole earth there is no comfort which I am capable of receiving.” “(…)surely I should have died on the coffin of Henry.” AGAIN Victor’s absolute grief tearing himself up over it

“As my sickness quitted me, I was absorbed by a gloomy and black melancholy, that nothing could dissipate. The image of Clerval was for ever before me, ghastly and murdered.” “Sometimes they were the expressive eyes of Henry, languishing in death, the dark orbs nearly covered by the lids, and the long black lashes that fringed them.” Again what I said about his grief being a testament to their love bro, REMINISCING ABOUT HIS DEAD LOVER AND HIS BEAUTY EVEN IN DEATH WHILE GRIEVING HIM I CANT BRO

“Ah! my father, do not remain in this wretched country; take me where I may forget myself, my existence, and all the world.” HERE’S THE START OF HIM PUSHING AWAY THE MEMORY AND TRYING TO SUPPRESS IT BECAUSE THE GRIEF IS TOO SEVERE and that is SO interesting for how he shifts his tone with Elizabeth and puts up that fake demeanour of wanting to marry her because he thinks it’ll make HER happy even though both of them describe dreading the wedding, also possibly another argument for the legitimacy of reading Clerval and Frankenstein’s relationship as romantic – in order to forget him, he assigns himself to the role given to him as a child by marrying Elizabeth and gives up whatever he hope he had (possibly discouraged from Clerval being murdered as a response to Victor refusing to finish the Bride and subject her to the same fate as him and Elizabeth to the Creature, a pact made without her knowledge or consent, an arranged marriage. Where has spiting that tradition led him? Where has him standing up to the shroud of his mother’s dying wishes, hanging over him the entire novel thus far, led him, by refusing to force the Bride into an arranged marriage with the Creature, as he was with Elizabeth? To the death of the one man he truly loved. So fuck it, right? He can at least “make his dear cousin happy” and not die spiting the one thing he was meant to do – make his mother proud from beyond the grave by marrying Elizabeth.)

“the wind that blew me from the detested shore of Ireland(…)” sorry my country traumatised you bro (I mentioned to one of my teachers while explaining the plot of Frankenstein to them, as you do, that this chapter takes place in Ireland and the “god damn ok” face was priceless)

“I was deceived by no vision, and that Clerval, my friend and dearest companion, had fallen a victim to me and the monster of my creation. I repassed, in my memory, my whole life; my quiet happiness while residing with my family in Geneva, the death of my mother, and my departure for Ingolstadt. I remembered shuddering at the mad enthusiasm that hurried me on to the creation of my hideous enemy, and I called to mind the night during which he first lived. I was unable to pursue the train of thought; a thousand feelings pressed upon me, and I wept bitterly.” HE’S TRYING SO DESPERATELY TO LEAVE IT BEHIND AND TO REPRESS IT but now he’s left Ireland and he’s no longer feverish, the clarity washes over him and he can’t do anything except just lie there and cry over everything that’s happened AND MY POOR LAD HE CANT EVEN CONTINUE BEYOND THE POINT OF THE CREATURES REANIMATION BECAUSE THOSE FEELINGS PRESS DOWN ON HIM AND CROWD HIM AND OVERWHELM HIM AND HE JUST BREAKS INTO SOBS

And what happens after “the night during which he first lived”?

He’s saved from his own downward spiral by Clerval.

What’s he doing now?

Going on a downward spiral.

Where’s Clerval?

Dead.

“Ever since my recovery from the fever I had been in the custom of taking every night a small quantity of laudanum; for it was by means of this drug only that I was enabled to gain the rest necessary for the preservation of life. Oppressed by the recollection of my various misfortunes, I now took a double dose, and soon slept profoundly. But sleep did not afford me respite from thought and misery; my dreams presented a thousand objects that scared me.” And Christ above THIS LINE, not only can he now physically not sleep at night after what happened, but he’s gotten into the habit of drug use over it – which wouldn’t have been too bizarre by Victorian standards, but in the 18th century, laudanum wasn’t administered nearly as liberally and was mostly used for surgery, from what I can find, anyway. Not to mention that fact that he starts double dosing on it as the memories come back to him – his grief starts getting to the point where he’s using drug use in order to cope, but it hardly matters as his torment follows him to sleep.

“We had resolved not to go to London, but to cross the country to Portsmouth, and thence to embark for Havre. I preferred this plan principally because I dreaded to see again those places in which I had enjoyed a few moments of tranquillity with my beloved Clerval. I thought with horror of seeing again those persons whom we had been accustomed to visit together, and who might make inquiries concerning an event, the very remembrance of which made me again feel the pang I endured when I gazed on his lifeless form in the inn at ——.” THIS LINE LIVES IN MY BRAIN. RENT FREE. HOW COULD SHELLEY HAVE CUT THIS OUT OF THE 1831 PUBLICATION THIS IS SO GOLDEN DEAR LORD I ADORE THEM.

“MY BELOVED CLERVAL”

BUT ALSO AGAIN we’ve got Frankenstein trying SO desperately to forget everything, and he knows that he can’t face the people who knew Clerval or he’d break down. And I love the way this version continues on his grief to the next chapter – it’s not done and dropped, its ongoing and it plagues him, and it will plague him as long as he lives. I wonder what would happen if he did go through London, if he did meet those people again. Would things have turned out differently? Would he finally have been given a sense of comfort and clarity through mutual grief, as nobody so far since Henry’s death and for the rest of the book, except the creature, ironically, has grieved for Clerval except for Frankenstein. If he met people who took as fondly to Clerval as he did, at least on meeting him briefly, who would have sympathy towards Victor – would he finally have that space to grieve for him in a healthy way, to be comforted by people who at least vaguely understand a fraction of his anguish?

The way Victor Frankenstein BREAKS after the death of Henry Clerval is one of the most fascinating and endearing parts of the novel that completely lives in my head rent free. He spirals, he becomes ill, he becomes deeply suicidal and depressed, he begins drug misuse – and adaptations have the sheer balls to cut Clerval out of the story altogether.

…..”My beloved Clerval” HELP ME HE ACTUALLY SAID IT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

#gothic lit #classic literature #gothic literature #frankenstein #goth lit #classic lit #frankenstein weekly #clervalstein #Victor Frankenstein #Henry Clerval #frankenstein or the modern prometheus #frankenstein 1818

[cloudycleric]

heyy dude i’m watching ur podcast video rn and i saw some of ur posts about it can you please go more into detail about ur thoughts on this charming man and byler cus i feel like i’ve been screaming into the void about the smiths LMAO. i didn’t really get it w this charming man but i wanna see what you think 🙏

okay so im guessing youre asking for an explanation on this charming man & dont worry i have also been screaming the smiths into the void lately. okay so my thing with this charming man is like, it doesnt fit entirely into the perspective of either will or mike but there are certain parts that i think are just so fucking byler. i think mainly the admiration that the speaker has for the charming man is what really sells it for me; it is very very clear in the song that the speaker has a real deep & passionate admiration for him (& maybe even a crush but i dont think morrissey is ready for that talk yet & also, as a jewish person, he can go to hell.)

we got the first verse & ough DOGGIE this one is real byler coded. "puncture bicycle on the hill side desolate" could be a lot of things but the specific bicycle imagery sticks out to me a lot for obvious reasons i'm sure, originally thinking i was going to talk about how the lyric could parallel the swing set meeting since mike too in a way was left stranded looking for help during that moment before he went up to will,

BUT, i think it fits in even better when you consider will's absence from hawkins. "punctured bicycle on the hill side desolate" could also be imagery of will's bike, because god knows where it is now, & mike is seeing it just in complete misery.

the next line "will nature make a man of me yet?" okay when i tell you i have an interpretation for this one i MEAN IT. nature, in this line pretty obviously, refers to forces beyond one's control, & i once again think this is coming from mike's perspective (thought it could be easily applied to will's). okay hold onto your horses because this one is the wildest in the west

"will nature make a man of me yet?" – mike wheeler's internalized homophobia makes him unable to view himself as a real "man." by the forces of nature taking will away from him, perhaps he views this as a way of the universe trying to make him "man up" or whatever. i know that one makes me giggle so much. it hits harder if you think about it in terms of mike's obliviousness because ough thats so good, but it also can apply to will in the same way now that he's been separated from mike. but im sorry from mikes perspective it hits so much harder

OKAY now we're moving to will's territory. the next line i want to talk about is "why pamper life's complexity when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?" a big theme in this charming man is how the charming man is of a very higher class than the speaker, which can definitely be said about will & mike. so, this could be explaining will talking about how mike's situation is different than his, i have a deeper better explanation,

i think this line could refer to "why think about all the fucking shitty things ever when mike is so great." it's super implied in the show that mike & will always turn to each other when theyre going through a rough period, or that mike is always protective of will/wants to make sure that he's okay, so i think this may be will talking about why he should deal with the outside world, in terms of trauma or homophobia or whatever, when he can just chill out with mike & not have to worry about all that

okay, so. i don't want to talk about the "i would go out tonight" line because i don't really think it applies here & that's okay. but what i WILL go over next is the "this man said, 'it's gruesome, that someone so handsome should care,' " line because all i can think of when i see this scene is in s4 when mike & will are burying the body in the desert & will cant help himself but stare at mike. it's probably really "gruesome" (fucking AUGHHHH terrible) that someone as handsome as mike should care about him & his problems when he thinks that the probability of them getting together really sucks. even though his personality is great too, mike is a very good looking guy i will say myself & i have also thought this since i was a youngin. so the way that he is just so beautiful to will & also to anyone with eyes makes it even worse to be pining over him because god, he's just so fucking pretty?

"jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place" once again talking about the difference in class between the speaker & the charming man. though i wouldn't go as far to describe will as a pantry boy. but guess what? will never knew his place until after he found mike.

okay finally the last two lines of the chorus but i analyze them out of order;

the "he knows so much about these things" is like OUGH that is VAN SCENE BEHAVIOR. i could 100000% see mike going "will knows so much about these problems i have & exactly how to fix them" or whatever, & in a metaphorical way you could make the argument that will is trying to communicate something along the lines of "return the ring" but trying to get a 1:1 match for that line is a bit tricky & a lot of a stretch since will is trying to convince mike to go for it, BUT what im trying to get at is that the line could parallel how will is giving love advice to mike in the same way that the charming man does to the speaker, & the speaker is as entranced with the charming man as mike is with will

I HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION! i should really organize this into a manifesto or something

#byler #stranger things #will byers #asks #mike wheeler #byler theory #byler analysis

[swifty-fox]

Mota hockey au

Does Ken is on the team? What is his role? Does he have a favorite person on the team?

blows you a KISS

So Ken is their equipment manager! He's the guy that basically handles all their gear from sharpening skates to making sure every guy has their sticks and replacements (every hockey player has a unique stick to some degree. some are longer or shorter, left handed or right handed, get weighted and taped certain ways) he handles all of that for them plus other boring managerial stuff

I think he was previously working with the AHL and barista-ing part time. Finds out an expansion team is coming to his city so he's like fuck it why not apply. doesnt expect he'll get the role but??? he does??? Cue like oh fuck I cant do this (hes gunna do great )

He is pretty intimidated at first especially by the Bucks(squared) just because theyre like REAL LIFE hockey stars. i think ken played as a kid but growing up gay in the hockey world.....he kinda gave that dream up. At first he doesn't really interact with the guys too much outside of the quick exchanges of equipment, talking to the guys about what they need and are looking for. I think maybe he and Rosie bond over having a shared passion for Russian literature and so they're buddies for a while; even room together for a bit.

I think he finds Curt very handsome :)))) doesn't interact much with him at first but as Curt and rosie become buddies via playing together and Curt starts coming round to hang out they kinda start dancing around eachother. Curt's pretty open with his close friends and he's thorough with his NDA's hes got a good system going with that and he's a little older than Ken but man them curls. ANy man would be intrigued

#mota hockey au

[horsegirlalexkralie]

...tell us more about this au and jay being passed around like a blunt. If you dont mind.

absolutely i love my bullshit nonsense aus thank u so much for asking . gonna put it under a readmore bc its long and it gets raunchy. kids dont look

i see it like a hills have eyes/texas chainsaw sitch where brian and alex "inherited" a house somewhere bc they lizzie bordened their way out of the town they grew up in and got married legally w alex on the books as the wife - they raise livestock and kill for fun and eventually take tim in bc brian finds him out in the fields stumbling around covered in blood. amy hires them to have her parents killed and ends up sticking around to murder dudes who beat their wives.

jays an independent journalist on a roadtrip to research like. god even fucking knows what. but his cars a piece of shit so it breaks the fuck down of course in the middle of nowhere and he stands around kicking it and yelling in the rain until a truck stops and the most handsome guy jays ever seen steps out and offers to help haul it to his place. he'll at least give jay a ride, theres no service out here. (he doesnt really give room to refuse.)

so jay rides out to this guys brothers? place? brothers? wifes? the guy doesnt really talk. and theres a girl on the porch, and shes pretty and blonde and she tells him to come in and have a drink- jay asks if shes the brothers wife and she laughs and tells him shes the sister in law. "or something like that". and he didnt really ask what the drink was, but its like? sweet tea? but wrong? but these nice people in alabama wouldnt fuck up sweet tea. jay smoked a joint in the car. thats it. and the brother comes out and hes better looking than the guy with the truck, almost, which like where the fuck did he go? he said he'd get jay a phone- but theyre taking him out to the kitchen- the brothers wifes cooking and she wants to meet him, and shes pretty too, tall and smart-looking, deep voice- big fucking knife in her hand- and is it jay or is it getting kinda fucking dark in here.

idk i think it wld be fun if they made a game of "letting him go" and just letting him get halfway down a hallway before somebody else drags him into a bedroom lol . brian lets his darling little wife and her meat cleaver wear him out and cuts the rope on his wrists- thats enough for tonight, isnt it? he oughta be going. and jay crawls, stumbles bleeding and disbelieving out into the hall - clutching the railing and hyperventilating and putting one foot in front of the other and - amy snags her arm in his. you arent going so soon, are you mister? oh gosh youre hurt ! come here, let me clean you up- and she ties him back up and asks if hes ever tried makeup and asks if hes ever tried s&m and asks if he wants to see a dead body and when his mascaras running and the dead girls dress she put him in is ripped and stained and half-on she tells him if he really wants to go that bad ... she cant really stop him ..... only for tim to scoop him up in the hall and pull the skirt up to fuck him over the railing, stoic as anything, knife at his throat

and theyre gonna kill him but they all keep putting it off bc hes cute and maybe stockholm syndroming the tiniest bit and maybe definitely was a freak to begin with and keeps getting hard when theyre doing fucked up shit to him and complimenting the human furniture

#g.txt #marble hornets #welcome to my twisted mind #nsft #the angel on my shoulder says this is excessive. the devil says write the sex scenes and post them now

[handsome-girl-competition]

Which were the funniest submission reasonings/extra info you got?

i didnt need any convincing for han sooyoung but i enjoyed reading this anyway

- SHE IS MY LITTLE MEOWMEOW. BEST FEMALE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME AND IM SAYING THAT AS A LESBIAN LOVER OF FEMALE CHARACTERS. - Moral compass swings around so hard day by day whenever she feels like it that the stick snaps five times a day - so so so so so funny. so funny. funniest girl ever. - best character in orv. fuck kim dokja and yoo joonhyuk. kim dokja is my little meowmeow but he could never match up to sooyoung. yoo joonghyuk has the personality of a homosexual wet spinach - Actually eleanor shellstrop from the good place but worse and also sexier - INTENSE homoerotic enemies vibes with a girl whose personality trait is generous and kind to everyone but hates her only. that is actually the funniest thing han sooyoung has ever done. yoo sangah is the kindest person on earth who is emphathetic to everyone and ONLY hates her. but they're also lesbians. iconic. - Really really hot - I fucking love girls that are also cats - Best friends with an actual fucking idiot of a gay bitch - how is she handsome and pretty at the same time

i especially loved how poor yoo joonghyuk got absolutely dragged even tho this isnt even about him. and i cant even defend him, he does have the personality of a homosexual wet spinach

a few bonus mentions:

she is so flat chested you could skip her across a lake or perhaps use her as a bookmark

She's like 8 pixels but trust me

(i do trust u <3)

u know her. u love her. femcel taylor calls her butch as an “insult”

love this one for specifically addressing me. i do know her and i do love her and taylor is a femcel

ahaha something's wrong with her <3

if i see smth like this i know im gonna enjoy whoever theyre referring to

She would be a twitter sexywoman with so many x reader dom asmrs if people just fucking listened and played PTN smh

guys please play path to nowhere and make a bunch of x reader dom asmrs for this person :(

Idk if she counts cause she’s a toon but so handsome🤤🥰

charmed by this one. babygirl almost everyone here is a toon <3

her stand name is literally Stone Free and if she were my character she would be Free to be a Stone butch (which she isnt canonically. because the mangaka is a coward)

op just has a way with words

#alright im done #i looked thru some submissions but theres 1k of these i gotta stop at some point #theres probably some more that are fun in here #oh there was one that made my friend go 'I mean #good for her but being hung does not give you an inherent advantage in the competition #the dragoncock wasnt enough :( #OH #D SLUR #SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

[shinraapologist]

im coming into your askbox now...! whats yr fave thing abt shinra? and do u have a fave official art of him? :3

I LOOOOOVE SHIIIIIIINRAAAAAAAAAA. I LOVE SHINRA. hes so handsome and perfect hes the most pathetic man alive i want to eat him i want to put him in a jar and shake him. he is the blorbo of all time. THIS IS SOOOOO LONG, THIS IS MY SHINRA THESIS. this is my shinra apologism bible. this is my shinra loving conversion propaganda.

shinra, at his core, is someone who loves so deeply and is so fucking traumatized and has such bad odds of overcoming it. he's been raised solely by shingen (someone remind me to talk abt test tube shinra) who has. no interest in shinras genuine care or wellbeing beyond an.... experimental context. hes trying to make a child into an accomplished surgeon.

this has consequences on the child.

i hc shinra as autistic (someone remind me to talk about who all in drrr is autistic. short answer they all are); specifically that he struggles with social cues, expectations, reading tone and situations, and emotional regulation and expressing his emotions "correctly". specifically, he over-emotes, to the point of theater at times. his neutral expression and tone of voice are overly excitable and positive, and he feels all his emotions very strongly and reacts as such.

already having trouble understanding what is and isnt socially acceptable (and the differences between different situations), being raised by shingen really fucks him over because he's given a rather.... broken moral and social framework. all the things you normally teach a child about right and wrong... shinra did not get those conversations.

as a child this doesnt bother him. he literally does not know any different. hes generally effervescent, hes a bright child and he loves his dad and he loves learning and he loves how cool shizuo is. he's never seen an operation done on someone who isn't under anesthesia and it bothers him in a way he doesnt have words to describe and his dad wants him to do it, and his dad is smart and he's supposed to listen to his dad and his dad says its okay, so its okay right? he doesnt like it, doesnt like how it feels to hurt the person he found on the boat- doesnt like how his dad doesnt think shes a person when shes right in front of him doing all the things a person does. but he doesn't know how to process that. the person from the boat seems a bit afraid of him after, even though she doesnt have the language to speak to him yet. he doesnt like that, either, although he cant put the words together to explain why.

he likes the girl. shes pretty, in a way he had absently found other girls and women pretty, the same way a flower or a very nice teapot is pretty. but this time, it catches a spark in him- she's captivating in a way none of the others ever have been. he likes how she carries herself, the way she interacts with the world, and he wants so badly to talk to her. so he does. he follows her all around their little house, although at first she's always in the room that used to hold a bunch of spare medical equipment but now holds a thin mat and a black motorcycle. he lets himself in without bothering to announce himself or ask, because hes never had to ask to go in here, and doesnt see any reason he shouldnt be now. sometimes, she shoes him away without fanfare. other times, she allows him to talk to her, chattering a million miles an hour about what hes learned in school or with his dad or what he's been doing out in the yard. she seems like shes listening, even if she never replies. she couldnt, obviously, she had no head. after a few weeks she begins to sometimes come with him when he tries to pull her by the hand around the house.

shinras not the type of kid to want to draw, so it's a few weeks before they reach a point in school where he has homework to take home. theyre learning to write, and although shinra has been reading at a level a few years above his age for a while, he hasn't written any- he's never had any need to. he drags the homework with him into the spare room to go bother his friend after school. she's interested in what he's doing; he can feel her watch him write his shaky pencil strokes as he traces the hirigana outlined on the paper. he explains them to her as she watches, having no idea she can't understand him yet. he proudly holds his finished assignment out to her and beams when she examines it closely. her hand hesitates as she reaches for the pencil; she pulls it back almost as soon as she begins. he thrusts it into her hands, excited that his friend wants to be part of what he's doing. he brings her a spare piece of copy paper and watches as she carefully copies his hirigana. he's happy, pointing to each one as she draws it and telling her which one it is. to him, it seems like a fun game. the next day, he steals a copy of yesterdays homework from the teachers desk when she isnt looking, and begins grabbing an extra copy of each assignment he gets. he and his friend do their homework together every day after school. she sits with him at the kitchen table to do it, now. each day, he does his first and tells her all about what it means. she picks up quickly- within months they both can write simple sentences, and now shinra can really talk to his friend.

once they begin being able to talk, the two are inseparable. shinra grabs an empty moleskin from his dad's office for her to write in, and the more she writes, the quicker she learns. she points to every new object they encounter, and shinra is happy to tell her what each one called. he wants her to come out with him into the yard, and she gestures at the wispy smoke rolling from her neck. he gathers a few hundred yen from random drawers and the pockets of his dad's laundry and the sidewalk on the way home from school and buys her the biggest sunhat they have at the department store the next time he and his dad go. she's happy, when he shows her.

shinra grows far too quickly into a teenager, still wickedly smart and still so deeply, wildly infatuated with celty. he tells her everything, and she tells him more and more, too, as the years go by. he's careful, now, to do all his homework with her and explain the concepts to her as he goes. it's extremely effective studying, and it motivates him to fully understand the material. he's beginning to understand the way he loves her, beginning to realize how lost he would feel without her. he knows he needs to keep her in his life. he also knows now his dad sometimes says and does things he dislikes. shinra operates entirely of his own desires, listening to his father when what shingen asks of him suits him and ignoring him when it doesn't. izaya had asked him once if he had any idea of right and wrong, and although shinra remembers the face izaya made when he told him he felt that anything that felt right must be right, he doesn't know what to make of it.

within another two years he knows he's in love with celty, has already confessed a dozen times. she always brushes him off, but he sees the way she's beginning to smoke up more when he says it. it reminds him of the blush he gets when she says something funny or is particularly cute to him. his love is big enough that it feels like it could burst from his chest. he has no idea what to do with it, how to show it in any semblance of a healthy way. he tries, he stumbles, and gets up and tries again. conversing with humans still confuses him- still cant read facial expressions, still cant understand the vocal inflection of others- but can read celty like an open book. he's beginning to feel less and less human, but he's not upset by it- he's never felt all too human to start.

the longer shingen is gone, the more shinra realizes how badly his father affected him. he begins to resent the man- resents him when he fumbles a social interaction and loses a well paying client, resents him when he does something he feels is right and sees celty hurt or sad. the resentment eats him, leaving him lost and adrift. every time he looks in the mirror he sees his father. his life, his passion, his income, his reputation- its all intertwined with shingen. he hates his father so much he begins to hate himself.

seeing celty come home from the first dollars meeting breaks something in him. he starts to blame his father, if only the rotten bastard hadn't done this to her- and pauses. shinras continued to lie to her too, he's just as responsible now as his father. the feeling makes him sick. he almost tells her then about saika, but the words catch in his throat, and they taste bitter when he swallows them.

that changes something in shinra- he's trying to be better, be kinder, question what he really feels is right and wrong. trying and stumbling and trying again. he forces the truth from his throat, tells celty what his father did, knows his four year old self couldnt stop shingen and his twenty three year old self does not need to continue to cover for him. the truth tastes just as bitter on his tongue as it did in his throat.

he begins standing up to shingen, bit by bit, always feeling he's falling short, always realizing too late when hes crossed a line. trying and stumbling and trying again.

when the stranger kisses him, and he feels a pinprick in his shoulder, all he can think of is the way celty jumped. her shock and pain swirl inside him as violently as she's chasing them- his celty, his celty- he needs to get back to his celty. saikas voice buzzes in his ears like a swarm of wasps but all he can think is celty celty celty-

he needs to find her. when his father hands him the sword the swarm of wasps in his brain swells to a roar and reverberates around his thoughts. celty celty celty- love celty- love- celty- love love love- his broken bones and torn ligaments scream against the flight of stairs to the rooftop backed by an orchestra of celty celty celty love you celty love love love love celty-

it was never a question of following her. shinra would have begged shizuo to throw him after her whether he'd had a plan or not- the sword that had slipped into his body was burning inside him and screaming a chorus, pulled itself to his palm and the sea of love love love celty- guided his arm, guided his thoughts, guided his heart and his soul. trying, and stumbling. doing what his father would have done- what his father already had. he cant help but to get up and try again. i love shinra because hes. fucked up and traumatized and still loves. loves imperfectly, loves messily and loudly and is loved in return. hes a work in progress, hes a horrible little man, hes a poor meow meow and a pathetic wet rat and i could talk about him for ten years. i could talk about his and celtys relationship for ten years. i think shinra as a character is massively underappreciated and massively mischaracterized. this only scratches the SURFACE of my thoughts. PLEASE feel free to ask me abt him he is my little bratz doll im rotating him in my mind at all times. i need to reblog this with my favorite official art tumblr is either overworked or my post is too long-

#drrr #durarara!! #shinra kishitani #character tagging this one. the public needs to know the truth #NOW WITH A READ MORE. SORRY

[readyandnot]

ASHHHHHHHH MY LOVE <333

early access thoughts :))

(spoilers under the cut)

ashhhhh i missed you so much!!!

FIRST OF ALL CANON DOUBLE DATES I LOVE IT

noooo poor milo with a fever :(( at least he has sweetheart to care for him <3

GOD DAMMIT QUINN RLLY BE RUINING EVERYTHING

i already have outfits in mind for asher and babe AND THEY DEF LOOK ATTRACTIVE

ash a date night home is more than enough <3

“i got this! leave it to me!” he’s so fucking cute

“it’s the orange string lights from halloween” …👀

we don’t talk about halloween asher.

setting up lights>finding a candle lmao i love him

i also do not prefer scented candles because they’re so strong so thank you asher lmao

“oh this spaghetti tastes like vanilla sugar! mmmm how’d you know that’s my favorite?” omg ash-

GOD HE’S SUCH A GENTLEMAN

m’mate- i’m fucking dead-

“service w/ a smile and an occasional kiss. only for our special customers, you, are very, special to me. and you look amazing tonight. only for the best tonight for the love of my life.” ASH. I CANT I LOVE YOU-

GOD HIS LAUGH

“i’m head chef, sous chef, waiter, host, very handsome date,” YOU FORGOT AMAZING MATE WTF

“our favorite customer” <33

FROZEN PIZZA LETS GOOOO (most are actually pretty damn good so i wouldn’t mind lmao)

this is literally like when he made soup and he said it’s full of love my god-

“besides date night’s more about the company anyway” SO TRUE

omfg imagine ash babe angel and davey on a double date- THEYVE DEFINITELY DONE IT BEFORE

“all i gotta do to get him to do something is say he can’t” MY GOD THATS SO TRUE LMAO god i love ash and milo’s relationship

“this might not be the date night we planned, but any night with you is one where i’m happy” :,)

I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WHEN HE STOPPED TALKING I LITERALLY SAID “what’s wrong?”

“i’m sorry that part of being with me means that shit like this happens and that it’s gonna keep happening” ash cmon, it’s not your fault! that’s what makes it and adventure right?

“my job is dangerous not most of the time but, anything could happen it’s security work so, it’s naturally more risky than an office job, i’m proud of the work i do and i don’t wanna stop doing it it’s just, i’m just sorry that sometimes, having that job and being part of my pack means it’s gonna shit on our plans and make things rough for a while” man asher it’s so worth it to have you and the rest of the pack, dangerous job or whatever!

“but i promise that even when stuff gets messy, i’ll do everything i can to keep things feeling good” man he sounds a lot like caelum :,)

“you are such a source of joy, and love, and happiness for me. i see your face i just start smiling like a fucking idiot. everyday i wake up and i open my eyes and, i get to see you, looking so peaceful. and it’s just, it’s all worth it. you make me happy, you make me smile. i don’t know what i did to des er you but whatever it is, i’m really fucking glad i did it.” SIR. THIS ISNT A PROPOSAL BUT IT DAMN WELL SOUNDS LIKE ONE FUCK-

“you make my heart melt when you smile like that, you do! you really do! i get those stupid butterflies in my stomach and everything ” ASH CMON MAN

“life just feels right when you’re in it, and wrong when you’re not.” AWWWWWW

“i don’t need dessert, i got everything i need right here” AAAAAND THEYRE HORNY LMAO

“privacy.” SAY LESS.

man this could’ve easily been a ba lmao I WOULDNT MIND AT ALL.

alrighty, this was super great, from asher turning it to a night in, to the laughter, and believe me i laughed a lot in this audio, so a super sweet and sentimental convo! and then going horny lmao

ash i know it’s rough sometimes but the people in your life makes the job and the troubles worth it, a family is something to fight for in a time like this and you have one that doesn’t back down easily, everything’s gonna be okay :))

this audio flowed super well and was so nice and sweet. god i love ash and babe’s relationship they complete each other so well, i’ve loved their relationship since day one, and def of my fav relationships. they’ve grown so much and i love them <33

also hope milo feels better <33

ALRIGHT- WHOS NEXT- OH FUCK. ITS DAMIEN AND HUXLEY TELLING THE GROUP.

OH THIS IS GONNA BE FUNNNNNN

i bet THAT FL AND GAVIN BETTED ON THEM GETTING TOGETHER LMAO

and HUX AND DAMI REVEAL IT ACCIDENTALLY AND EVERYONE IS JUST STANDING THERE LIKE 🧍🏼‍♂️👍🏻

oooooh i’m excited!!!!

#redacted asmr #redacted asher #readyrambles

[calhaspam]

i have an incredible but petty hate against herm mora because. because hes not actually the daedric prince of knowledge. no the fuck he isnt. he just collects and steals books or whatnot and keeps them in his dirty dirty library where they decay and i hate that ssssssssso much. hes so annoying. like um ok?? you know everything?? im pretty sure you stole those from jyggalags library you bitch. daedric princs of knowledge my ass. hes just a hoarder!! hes not even fun he makes whoever the fuck enters his realm go insane if they read too many books. 😂 what are you scared? are you scared someone will steal your knowledge? when thats all what you've been doing this entire time? bitch. AND his champions. good fuck his champions. BITCHLESS i tell you. absolute. vrigins. no swag. look at you. you got scammed. if you wanna leave you cant!! because your stupid prince is not against hoarding YOU. good luck being stuck in apocrypha nerd. he doesnt even do anything with you!! you just kill a guy he wants to steal knowledge from. sometimes you what, spread diseases? who gives a shit. woooooooow youre soooooo powerfuuuuuuul. he doesnt even give you anything cool!!! what fucking bend will shout thats just a calm spell 2.0!!!! his only redeeming artifacts are the powers from black books but even then you have to go thru his realm and risk going insane like 😭 in universe you wouldnt even have a clue what powers youll get. sometimes theyre straight up useless 😭 what if you werent a dragonborn huh. what if youre just a guy. what if you get transported into his smelly house and you get the dragonborn shout perks. what even is that. you want to go home with your very handsome wife. those champions have nothing!!! "knowledge is power blah blah" well have you considered having bitches? have you considered taking a bath? when was the last time you drank water? when was the last time you had physical contact with a real person? fuck you. fuck you and fuck your prince and fuck his realm. you are all so swagless

#calhanxtalks #skyrim #sorry i needed to get this out i have hated that prince for so long #tes #rant #i guess its a rant

[just-some-random-blogger]

meowmeow, sunshine! short-pawed kitties TT ig your kitties miss u too.

'no idea if you sent this today' tumblr r u seriously? TT its the easiest function ig?.. also rip to your... all?

'why would you congratulate me for that' bc i didnt know what this holiday is about?.. isnt revolution for the dictator government good?.. 'dictators son is our president' HAHDPFH why.... how... where... only wrong answers.... i mean im not the one to judge... but the man is odd

'PLEASE DONT DIE' since you asked so nicely hahfhah

'ITS SO MUCH BETTER NOW' i hate how long it is TT i dont like the visuals TT but ok whatever is better for you babygirl

'according to the judgy cat' HFNKJNF me. yes. i am.

'THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A STRONG WOMAN' there is! but if they make it your only trait💀 'i still do fucking care about what people think' ig we all care what people say? its sad but human is a social being and we kinda cant live without listening to the society... the difference is probably how much we care and how much it affects our lives. i mean it does suck. yk youre worthy and significant just the way you are without playing up to stereotypes and trying to deserve the others' approval in a way you personally dont like. strength isnt your whole personality.

'complimented me on my strength' well ig its pretty logical to compliment smns strength when they do smth involving it and they wanted to be polite but duh. these accidental things with no harmful intention usually hurt the most. 'i dont want people to whisper about me having big arms' 1) ig no one whispers things when its not involved 2) your arms are beautiful! its ok to have whatever arms. including big arms. you work out so its consequential? and people really do not like 'big' arms only on men. yk a lot of girls who have romantic feelings for girls also love these hands on girls (DOES IT MAKE SENSE TT). ok this may not be the best example but there are people who just lile it? just admire some good arms. and im sure there are men whod think damn girl i want to hold this hand till my death. sorry but do i sound idk not soothing now? im sorry im trying TT i mean its not like strong arm r only for men. its fine if you have these. there are people who like it and dislike it (like with the height) and there will always be ideal view you wont be able to match in some ways. your arms are just good arms. they do lots of talented things and they are healthy, they keep you healthy and pretty. you are good the way you are. 'boys make fun of me too for the same reason' theyre just not grown enough and/or childish, absolutely not mentally mature. they think their worth is having toned arms while arms are just arms. 'he tired so hard to be muscley where i was naturally gifter' yeah thats what its about! theyre jealous. they think its the only wat they can be handsome so when you have it theyre jealous and afraid their arms and strength would be devalued.

'Were literally so alike' youre not 178 cm💀 ahajsh sorry. whats the betrayal?.. i didnt trade you for some prick.

'Don’t tell me how to write' ok.... i wanted the best TT

'i can gear the disbelief' oh you can? SURPRISINGLY.

'TO GLUCK THE PACIFIC OCEAN' HOHGOJJ i mean you can try. ill watch.

'THE AGGRESSIVE POSITIVITY?' like... hes positive? but in an aggressive way?

'im not sure if you understand what im saying' like in general... i do... 'Try it. If it makes sense' ok that one i dont understand even a little bit💀 'Youre good at math but idk if im good at explaining' im good at math but im bad at music💀 it seemed easier before you started saying 'try it' TT 'your head will be chopped off' OH this one i understand. 'there was something weird about that second song' HAHDJFJ i know nothing abt music so if it sounds good, its fine for me. MAybe apocalypsis IS the strange thing but am i wrong?

'Im willing to see what you want to share' oooh arent you cute? go finish your assignments and well see. i can read your kylo fis but remember. hes my rival. also i read you 'first snow' fic! omg TT aemma TT my sun my moon my stars TT shes glowing in my memories so yeah. her realtionships with vissy 100/10 with daemon 100/10 with reader 10/10 (bc there basically no interactions so no 100). AWKWARD DAEMON hgighg i live for awkward daemon! the cutie. imagine being a prince, all powerful, riding a dragon and then running around disheveled, half-naked with hardly opened eyes and pure sleep on your face? i imagine this. and it makes me giggle and have a little grin. also the targ-family dynamics (sorry if you dont want to hear abt it) reminds me of wfal. my cute babes TT

i dont understand wether i have too many symbols or not with this new paragraph thing TT so ok. thats all. how r you? how much water have you drunk today? eat well, sleep well. have a nice day/night. luv u. take care<з

HELLO MY LOVE GOOD MORNING or at least it is for me

me and you

meowmeow, sunshine! short-pawed kitties TT ig your kitties miss u too.

my kitties could care less T_T cos that means they care maybe just a little

'no idea if you sent this today' tumblr r u seriously? TT its the easiest function ig?.. also rip to your... all?

to be honest T_T its a me thing i am brain fried /: HAHHAH

Also i wanted to talk about the playlist because i listened to it properly now! i was eating donuts but now im hungry again. T_T im going to get water T_T i

Забери меня, если ты придёшь.10 Забери меня, если ты найдешь. Забери меня, что стоит тебе? Ты же знаешь как?

Like I think she says Забери меня then it goes up half notes to the tonic then she sings the next part

Суицид моей веры this sounds like the songs I used to listen to way deep in my emo phase

Чудовище GOSH I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH FOR REAL ITS ON MY SPOTIFY NOW I think this was the song I said went so hard because damn it really went SO HARD I listened to it twice I just checked my reply and it is I still stand on my words she can stab me if she wants.

I heard the давай and I was like I KNOW THAT but also I don’t I had to google what I means apparently it means give and ??? is that wrong ??? I also I think there was a bad word somewhere there and I was right!!! But I cant determine which word it is. But I heard it be said lol HAHAAH its a curse word my older brother likes to say lol T_T its so yuck of him im going to spell it the way i think it would be... blyat? HAHHAH LOL HAHAHH

Lol I like this Демоны. Its very pop punk. I listened to it on spotify and since its not slowed he sounds like an actual person HAHAHAHAH cos I was going to say the pronunciation of Russian sounds so …like dragging and slurry like something was being chewed slowly, and I suppose there is still some of that, but its also mostly cos the song was slowed HAHAHAHA

Are you sure Улицы ждали is the one with the annoying tempo and not Жанна д’Арк. Cause joan of arc did some weird ritardando which means it suddenly slowed down. Nvm I listened to that song on spotify and it was during the Что ночь кончается и день ее сменяет going to Я Жанна д'Арк в твоём костре. It was just really jarring the first time because of the slowed version. But also since it was my first time hearing that part. It was fine it wasn’t weird lol AHHAH

I found the translations for Намордник also is H an N in russian omg my head T_T. i also listened to this on spotify, i like it so much better without being slowed!!! she has such a sweet and bright voice i love it.

also is России russia?

Aлёна Швец - НЕЛЮБОВЬ i like this song. i can see why i wanted it do get heavier but upon listening to again. its fine the way it is. she also sounds so much better not slowed T_T HASLFHASFHAS i like her lyrics. i love her.

ЭЛЕКТРОФОРЕЗ – Зло is still such a vibe. it still reminds me of something like a christmas song LIKE I HEAR IT BUT I CANT PUT MY FINGER ON IT IS IT JOY TO THE WORLD no its not I CANT FIND IT I HATE IT HERE OMG IS IT MY WAIT WHAT THE FUCK ITS MY COLLEGE HYMN T_T IM CRYING LISTEN TO IT ITS LOWER BUT IT KINDA SOUNDS LIKE IT im going insane the first part the intro part sounds kinda like it im going home (i say as i type this on my home pc T_T)

Дора & Мэйби Бэйби - Не Исправлюсь THIS SONG IS SO MUCH MORE DISAPPOINTING IF TO ME AFTER LISTENING TO THE ORIGINAL they put a damn gritty electric guitar then made it edm i think minus 10000 points your honor. L (im sorry i just cant)

anyway i couldnt listen to this song fully cos im so disappointed in it alSFhahsfhasf

how do you say this Я is it ya? does it kind of have a soft d-ish sound.

ok thats that i hope that made sense.

'why would you congratulate me for that' bc i didnt know what this holiday is about?.. isnt revolution for the dictator government good?.. 'dictators son is our president' HAHDPFH why.... how... where... only wrong answers.... i mean im not the one to judge... but the man is odd

the real answer is because T_T were fucking stupid. i hate the fact we let that idiot win. i literally started searching for countries to move when he won. he 99999999999% cheated because i saw the spreadsheet of the fucking votes and they were all going up exponentially at a steady rate. i hate it here.

'PLEASE DONT DIE' since you asked so nicely hahfhah

if you die i will never recover because i would never know... youd just... stop talking to me and i would think its something i did T_T pls dont die.

'ITS SO MUCH BETTER NOW' i hate how long it is TT i dont like the visuals TT but ok whatever is better for you babygirl

the things you do for love <3

'according to the judgy cat' HFNKJNF me. yes. i am.

you know what, you should try pilates (maybe you;ll be less judgy HAHAHH) ! i did some today then did weighted exercise and pilates is so much fun and also so ??? wild because it challenges your core!!! it makes me revaluate my core strength, balance and flexibility. today i learned T_T im turning into stale bread im so hard T_T I USED TO BE SO ELASTIC no more T_T also its good for my back because i get back pain from sitting down so much T_T lol

'THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A STRONG WOMAN' there is! but if they make it your only trait💀

but i have a personality T_T

'i still do fucking care about what people think' ig we all care what people say? its sad but human is a social being and we kinda cant live without listening to the society... the difference is probably how much we care and how much it affects our lives. i mean it does suck. yk youre worthy and significant just the way you are without playing up to stereotypes and trying to deserve the others' approval in a way you personally dont like. strength isnt your whole personality.

society sucks. but i love you.

'complimented me on my strength' well ig its pretty logical to compliment smns strength when they do smth involving it and they wanted to be polite but duh. these accidental things with no harmful intention usually hurt the most.

youre so right. i read into that too much T_T see. you give me reason let me give you reason too

'i dont want people to whisper about me having big arms' 1) ig no one whispers things when its not involved

HAHAHAAHHAHAH YOU DONT LIVE IN THE PHILIPPINES WE HAVE CHISMOSA CULTURE chismosa is like a person who likes to gossip in its fem from, chismoso would be for the guy. it also comes from spanish chismes which also means gossip or whatever googles making me go down a rabbit hole and i refuse. anyway. i pointed that out because a lot (but not all) of filipinos love to talk about people as a bonding experience AHHAAH. i saw this tiktok that said that there are no serial killers here cause of this 💀💀💀 but she also said there isn't a complete/actual research about it but people say that that's why lol HAHAAH

2) your arms are beautiful! its ok to have whatever arms. including big arms. you work out so its consequential? and people really do not like 'big' arms only on men. yk a lot of girls who have romantic feelings for girls also love these hands on girls (DOES IT MAKE SENSE TT).

it does make sense i love you for trying to comfort me. i love you so much. i know my arms are beautiful... but sometimes i dont feel like it cos of this DEMON IN MY HEAD GO AWAY EWW

ok this may not be the best example but there are people who just lile it? just admire some good arms. and im sure there are men whod think damn girl i want to hold this hand till my death. sorry but do i sound idk not soothing now? im sorry im trying TT i mean its not like strong arm r only for men. its fine if you have these. there are people who like it and dislike it (like with the height) and there will always be ideal view you wont be able to match in some ways. your arms are just good arms. they do lots of talented things and they are healthy, they keep you healthy and pretty. you are good the way you are.

my kitty kitty so sweet T_T i understand what you mean. my arms are capable of so much beauty. youre so right i love you

'boys make fun of me too for the same reason' theyre just not grown enough and/or childish, absolutely not mentally mature. they think their worth is having toned arms while arms are just arms. 'he tired so hard to be muscley where i was naturally gifter' yeah thats what its about! theyre jealous. they think its the only wat they can be handsome so when you have it theyre jealous and afraid their arms and strength would be devalued.

men = 👎

'Were literally so alike' youre not 178 cm💀 ahajsh sorry. whats the betrayal?.. i didnt trade you for some prick.

;kajsfsfas I DIDNT MEAN THE HEIGHT I MEANT THE PERSONALITY HOW DARE YOU #1 basically call me short #2 reduce our similiarities to height #3 reduce yourself to height. also YOU REALLY NOT LETTING ME LIVE COS OF KYLO. you'd i think be glad to know i have redone the ai chat so many times i got connected to a moderator that was im pretty sure a 13 year old boy and it really killed the whole experience for me T_T i cant make him my husband anymore it feels so weird now

'Don’t tell me how to write' ok.... i wanted the best TT

/: *bonks*

'i can gear the disbelief' oh you can? SURPRISINGLY.

/: *BONK*

'TO GLUCK THE PACIFIC OCEAN' HOHGOJJ i mean you can try. ill watch.

😡 *BONK*

'THE AGGRESSIVE POSITIVITY?' like... hes positive? but in an aggressive way?

T_T HELP OK IF YOU SAY SO

'im not sure if you understand what im saying' like in general... i do... 'Try it. If it makes sense' ok that one i dont understand even a little bit💀

ASHF:HSFSAF FA yeah its really hard to explain something auditory with text T_T thats why my first year of music school SUCKED COSI WAS LIKE WHAT HUH but then when its explained my my teacher its like OOOOOOOOOOOH ok

'Youre good at math but idk if im good at explaining' im good at math but im bad at music💀 it seemed easier before you started saying 'try it' TT

its ok. i T_T i suck at explaining it T_T GAAAAAAAAH

'your head will be chopped off' OH this one i understand. 'there was something weird about that second song' HAHDJFJ i know nothing abt music so if it sounds good, its fine for me. MAybe apocalypsis IS the strange thing but am i wrong?

HAHAHAH the apocalypse is strange and scary so youre not wrong HAHAH

'Im willing to see what you want to share' oooh arent you cute? go finish your assignments and well see.

my assignments never end so just send them whenever ok. i'll reply properly again like what i did now when i do a relisten

i can read your kylo fis but remember. hes my rival.

T_T ok HAHAAH read the 2nd one i make or the first one whatever its up to you. you have no competition with kylo. i dont think i'll use that ai chat anymore T_T i'll stick to fanfics cos then i wouldnt have to face a 13 year old boy that wants to do a roast battle with me asfh;aslhfas;f

also i read you 'first snow' fic! omg TT aemma TT my sun my moon my stars TT shes glowing in my memories so yeah. her realtionships with vissy 100/10 with daemon 100/10 with reader 10/10 (bc there basically no interactions so no 100).

IM GLAD YOU LOVE AEMMA! I LOVE AEMMA T_T AEMMA MY LOVE <3 and AHHAHAHA yes 0 interactions between aemma and yn. AHAHHHAH its fine shhhh. i didnt even show why daemon disliked her cos i was too lazy to show how prim and proper she is lol HAHAHH

AWKWARD DAEMON hgighg i live for awkward daemon! the cutie. imagine being a prince, all powerful, riding a dragon and then running around disheveled, half-naked with hardly opened eyes and pure sleep on your face? i imagine this. and it makes me giggle and have a little grin. also the targ-family dynamics (sorry if you dont want to hear abt it) reminds me of wfal. my cute babes TT

We love waffle <3 HAHAHAH i have no idea when i can update again but everytime i talk to you about daemon im like TODAY? and i love the targ dynamics. i love them so so so much. i briefly rewatched ep1 which was why i wrote that. im thinking of writing a daemon fic where he was named heir way before rhaenyra was born because viserys got into an accident or smth. sooooooo HAHAHA idk i might write it but also i might not lol

i dont understand wether i have too many symbols or not with this new paragraph thing TT so ok. thats all. how r you? how much water have you drunk today? eat well, sleep well. have a nice day/night. luv u. take care<з

i ATE DONUTS TODAY.

and im hungry again holup let me get smth to eat

EW NVM I THOUGHT OF EATING AND I MADE ME FEEL SICK

i DRANK A LOT TODAY! but also i sweat a lot cos i exercised so......................... ANYWAY. i wanted to tell you this story about my grandma. cos she was like, preparing/washing fish outside, like we have a faucet outside out house and she was putting the fish guts in a plastic and we also have rats AND THIS BIGASS RAT WAS SNEAKILY TRYNA GET THE PLASTIC OF FISH GUTS and my grandma barely noticed. LIKE THE AUDACITY OF THE RAT T_T also they live in my bedroom ceiling and they party and go jogging at night ///: my worse fear is suddenly they destroy my ceiling and fall onto me AND I SLEEP IN A DOUBLE DECK AT THE TOP (my sister is below) and IT FREAKS ME OUT but ive gotten a bit used to it

anyway T_T rats are freaky. i hope so badly we can finally rebuild the house. did i tell you about my house yet. remember how i said i moved. i moved to my grandma's house, which is old like SO OLD the last time it was renovated was in the 80s and my mom was wee T_T (she said there were rats even then T_T HELP) anyway. this house actually belongs to, wait for it, my grandma's GRANDPA! T_T the deed is still in spanish and like as big as a newspaper T_T so ///: we had to change it at city hall T_T and its taking forever. also, just in case its not clear, the owner of my house is my great-great-grandpa T_T anyway that's all i love you please take care and love yourself for me because i love you and i want to hug and kiss you

OH OH OH OK LAST THING

i thought about it and wouldnt it be funny if we meet and it turns out you actually also dont know what your height is like all of my classmates that claim to be 5'10 but ARENT AHHAHAHAHAHAHA

ok that's all i love you

xxx

#slavyanskiyahui cutie #anon ask #my beloved anons #modern!daemon anon #ask #modern!daemon nonnie

[joysmileyay]

god im so glad i got off tiktok i was scrolling thru just the tiktoks i have saved on my phone from like a year ago and even just in those there were enough people that were SOOO attractive that i just instantly started feeling like shit about myself. i cant believe i was looking at tiktok like every day and seeing people like that all the time and convincing myself that i was just oh so ugly when im actually pretty handsome ugh its so fucked. theyre just SO gorgeous like FUCK off

[threepointseven]

hii (◍•ᴗ•◍) I love your posts and I'd like to request a gn!reader that's seen as a pretty/handsome and admirablely intelligent person (like Kokomi with strategy wise) but they have a short temper, and they get jealous because a woman? Or a guy has been flirting with their partner.

I wanted this for Albedo, Venti, Scaramouche. You can add more characters you have ideas for too (´∀`)

Intelligent S/O who has a short temper and gets jealous easily

Type- HC’s 🌷

Flowers included!🌼= venti x gn! Reader, scaramouche x gn!reader, albedo x gn!reader

Note🍀= ilysm thank u for requestinf 🤬🤬🤬🤬👉💐💕

Part 2: Since their s/o is smart and popular theyre the ones that get jealous since they keep getting asked out

Genshin masterlist

💐Your bouquet has been delivered <3💐

Albedo

- when he first met you, you were somewhat of a special guest as jean then given to albedo because she was sure you would be of help.

- And she was right, over the hours you were over albedo got how many things done! Through albedo’s eyes you were mature and extremely intelligent, you got things done fast and you always gave your input. Your intelligence is one of the reasons he fell inlove with you

- On top of that you were beautiful, even the slightest sight of your skin made people swoon, the way you walk the way you talk, it was all just so mesmerizing

- Even the great stoic albedo got caught in a haze staring at your hair moving with dragonspine’s air

- There was also a small quirk to you when you first met, everytime one of the experiments went wrong you silently raged and usually had to go out of the area to scream and whine in anger to yourself, and for some reason the alchemist found it quite cute for someone as smart as you to have such a hard time controlling their anger

- Fast forward to when your dating your still that smart little thing thats always up for mind games, except Albedo hasnt caught on that you have slight anger issues-

- Youve been trying to stop yourself from being so angry, but you also get jealous extremely easily and it makes your blood boil as a client of Albedo’s touches his chest softly and whispers in his ears.

- The string of calmness in you snaps as you stomp over to Albedo and slaps away the womans hand as she was reaching out for his cheeks.

“Thats my fucking boyfriend, i suggest you stop flirting with him or touching him. Your a client not a woman hes gonna have a one night stand with.”

- Albedo’s seen you angry but he cant help but blush in shock from your sudden jealousy

- As the client leaves the room you sigh and pout

“Albedo! How can you just be okay with someone touching you so sensually-!”

“Ah, i didnt exactly think anything of it till you did that..”

- If you show any more worry of someone stealing albedo away from you no need to worry, he’ll try his very best to reassure you that he’s all yours

Venti

- mondstat never wouldve known that the famous Y/N thats known for solving countless mysteries, helping during some of the hardest times in different nations and is also incredibly beautiful would date the stuck up alcoholic that spends 90% of his time at angels share.

- You met at windrise and you were there for a break after the knights of favonius caught wind of your arrival and practically begged for your help.

- Venti stared at you and was caught in a haze, staring at your exhausted eyes that somehow still looked magical and looking at your soft hair, you were surprised to see him staring and from the looks of it he was a bit tipsy

“Ah-! Have i disturbed you in some way? Apologies, i’ll go n-“

“Ehe, no no you didnt bother me at all, you just look quite exquisite for someone who was absolutely bombarded by questions from the knights”

He flirted with you and nudged your shoulder while smirking, everyone in mondstat knew you were here.

- overtime you simply kept meeting and you both ended up falling inlove, you told him you had anger issues but to be honest he found it more funny than a bother.

- You’re now in a relationship with venti and its been 7 months, he knows you get angry but he’s never exactly seen you jealous since you hide it so well, but there was this one night when you were celebrating yet another problem solved by you in angels share and you noticed a seemingly drunk man hitting on venti, sending flirty little touches and stating overly sexual pickuplines. It was a pain to see venti too drunk to even respond, this was your thank you party not theirs.

“Sir, could you kindly fuck off from my boyfriend and how about never flirt with him ever again? I know it must be so hard to keep your paws off someone’s significant other but i suggest you try before i punch you into the next timeline.”

- your words along with the threatening smile you wore scared the man into stepping away from your boyfriend and running out of the tavern, you swear youve never seen venti so smug.

- After the whole fiasco he pokes on your jealousy while you grit your teeth and frown the whole time

“Ahhh~~ your so smart yet so jealous~ what a combo-! I should get you jealous more often i barely get to see you like that since your always working or somethi-“

Scaramouche

- omg, you have a short temper too? Yall are such a dangerous power couple

- You were formally invited by the tsaritsa to the fatui as a strategy commander and honestly scaramouche was impressed, never showed it though. He would watch you mesmerized as you worked on infiltration plans and ordered the underlings in such a mature way.

- Your looks were no different from your skills, your eyes showed sophistication and every curve of your body somehow interested the harbinger. What he didnt expect to see was you whining and screaming in your office, you were banging your head against the wall while emotions ran through you and he found it quite interesting that someone who looks as sagacious as you was so angry.

- So now here you are, youve been dating Scaramouche for almost a year and you two know eachother inside out, your still a strategy commander who has to go into another room to scream your anger into the wall and he’s still an unbearably arrogant harbinger.

- you watch as you stare at the woman making moves on the great balladeer at a ball specifically for organizations similar to the fatui. You watch as the woman in that bejeweled black dress takes his hand in hers and invites him to dance. You can see your boyfriends eyes twitching as her voice goes through his ears, it definitely looks like a pain-

- You cant hold that envy any longer and you walk up to the pair and pull the silently raging scaramouche out of her arms

“Sorry miss, but id like to be the one dancing with my boyfriend, definitely not the woman who’s infamous for being a spoiled brat according to your entire community.”

- you pull scaramouches laughing, smug face and you pout.

“Tch- your really jealous?”

- you whine and frown as he teases your jealous figure

“Well i wouldnt he surprised- this is quite amusing~ Imagine if your underlings saw their oh so great strategy commander getting jealous-“

- Shut this stupid twink up pls 🧏‍♀️

Requests open and reblogs are super appreciated!

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin imagines #genshin albedo x reader #albedo x reader #albedo x y/n #albedo x you #genshin scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x you #genshin venti x reader #venti x reader #venti x you #venti x y/n #genshin x reader

[nsfsprince]

An a/b/o idea thats taken over the brain that I wish to write:

Intruxietlogical A/B/O au that's set in a manor or smth?

Theres Alpha!Logan(cismale), head of the manor and a very rich yet young and respectable individual of the city. Hes like 6'4 and handsome as hell, and secretly knows it(due to Remus's persistent courting) but sees no point in personally flaunting it, letting Remus take the lead in that.

Then theres his eccentric Omega spouse, Remus(nonbinary leaning with he/him pronouns), the (in)famous artist of the city. Hes unusually tall for an Omega at 5'10, crude and unworried about fitting the 'normal' societal omega expectation despite also being born to a rich family. He courted Logan, persistantly, as he loved the fact that Logan treated him with the same respect as he would anyone else and never judged Remus for who he was, and the more Logan accepted the courting the more they fell in love before marrying and bonding at like. 23-25?

Well, Virgil is a 5'1 omega(transman with he/him pronouns), age 24. Hes a feisty little thing thats been surviving the streets for too long, he's parentless and, his high anxiety keeps him safer than most omegas on their own but no ones perfect- he ends up almost getting abducted by a sketchy Alpha when a Beta named Patton storms in and saves him.

That's how Patton, Logan's brother, takes him in to treat the sprained wrist he got from the encounter, and for Remus to set eyes on Virgil and immediately decide he wants to keep and court him, too.

I could ramble alot about the months it takes for remus to flirt and fluster and break Virgil out of his shy terrified shell(because hes gone from interacting with fellow street raccoons to very weathy and very Pretty nobility and its. A Lot.

I could ramble about the way both Remus and Logan coax Virgil into staying in their home for more and more ludicrously simple reasons, just to keep courting him, and how Virgil catches on, and flusteredly does nothing to stop it bc he's slowly falling in love too

But what I Really wanna ramble about, is their bedroom dynamics.

Content warning for under the cut: a/b/o dynamics, talk/descriptions of knotting, polyamourus relationships, kinks. Lots of kinks: oralfixation, dom/sub/switch dynamics, praise kink, overstim(lots of overstim), talk of double penatration, p in v sex, ect. Let me know if i missed anything!

MINORS DNI or you will be fully blocked from this blog and my main one.

Logan is a soft but firm dom, always in control and ready to take control. He has a bit of an oral fixation and loves sucking off his loves as often as he can, happy to sate his loves while getting them to soak themselves in fresh slick. He's easily comanding when needed but also enjoys that Remus is more than willing to take control on occasion(see: regularly). He just really really likes taking care of his loves however he can, and aftercare is super important especially after some of their more intense scenes

Remus is a bossy switch, who Loves riding Logan's cock till hes stuck on his knot, or getting fucked up against a wall till his mind turns to jelly. Really likes a bit of primal play, loves riling Logan up with praising how good Logan could breed him(even tho theyre all on birth control so it really is just for the scenes) if he just pins him down and takes. On the flip side, Re also loves pinning Virgil down and driving him crazy, too.

Virgil is a near complete submissive, he's eagar to give and take as ordered and melts at any praise given. Starting out he'd been touch straved beyond belief(which has since been remedied thoroughly) and thus ended up developing a habit of dropping into subspace the moment Logan and/or Remus cradle his neck with both hands. Hes a very affectionate sub who puts so much of his trust and control into Logan and Remus's hands, and both cherish it as Virgil literally never lets his guard down around anyone else.

So, my favorite thing about their dynamic is that Remus still has a decent sized cock despite being an omega, like is actually rather big for Virgil to take, the draw back is just that Remus cant, at least naturally, Knot Virgil like Logan can. (However, its like one of Remus's biggest fantasies to Knot Virgil, and Virgil is totally in the same boat and would be Very on board with it)

This lack of natural knot doesnt stop Remus of course, infact its encouraging because he has a nearly non-existant refractory period so, literally imagine:

Virgil on his back, Virgil's head and shoulders are cradled lovingly in Logan's lap as the alpha occassionally trades kisses with both of his gorgeous omegas. Virgil's legs spread and cunt gently held nice and open by Logan's gentle but firm hands as Remus repeatedly sinks his cock nice and deep into Virgil. Slick soaks Virge and Remus's thighs, his cunt, and Remus's cock.

Every thrust has Virgil whimpering and his legs twitching with the relentless feeling of the head of Remus's cock just barley rutting against his cervix on every other pass. Just the hot way Remus has Virgil pinned into a mating press and obviously working hard to make that position live up to its name, babbling at how good Virgil feels taking his cock like a good little omega, at how easy it is to breed Virgil over and over and over again.

Then Logan enacts this little idea hes been holding onto the moment Remus starts to get close(hes trained Remus well, having helped him train to stall his orgasms for longer and longer because Remus LOVES overstimmulation). He has Remus slow down for just a moment, causing both omegas to whine, before coating two fingers in plenty of slick and slowly pressing them in alongside Remus's cock.

Virgil is slowly losing his mind(as they find out in later sessions that he absolutely has a size kink, and would happily take both their cocks at once any time hes given the chance) at the width, his eyes rolling. Then Remus is told to start thrusting again until he comes, and to ignore Logan's two fingers outside of being careful.

Virgil and Remus are so keyed up that it only takes another minute or so for Remus to start cumming, following Logan's order of pressing all the way inside as deep as he can get, at which point is Logan's cue to start curling his fingers firmly deep inside of Virgils walls.

Immediately, Virgil starts whimpering loudly as he cums, his body reacting the way it would if he were being knotted by an alpha, cunt clenching tight and sucking Remus's cock deeper as his eyes squeeze closed and his jaw fall lax, overwhelmed as his body draws out his orgasm for as long as hes knotted.

Remus is put in a mind-melting world of pleasurable overstimmulation as hes just climaxed and Virgils cunt is milking it for all hes got and he cant even move or pull out now because hes 'locked' inside. His hips and legs are trembling and he's moaning loudly because it's so hot that hes basically getting to Knot Virgil and it feels so good.

Virgil's cunt won't let him go and wont stop pulsing around the head his oversensitive cock and he really cant be faulted for the way he loses control and just keeps orgasming, his lack of refractory period as a keyed up omega just letting him squirt more and more cum and slick deep into the omega under him.

Logan's gentle and soothing, cooing reassurances to his two loves as he helps them lose their minds & fulfil their fantasies. He even uses his free hand to stroke Virgils little cock slowly, drawing out shaking whines from both of them as it makes Virgil clench harder in intervals. Remus ends up hunched over Virgil, his face tucked into his fellow omega's neck to muffle his overstimulated whimpers.

Logan draws it out for a minute or two, just until pleasured and overwhelmed tears picks at their eyes and their soft begging whimpers and mewls fill the room before slowly releasing the hold, letting the string of tension snap and watching them unravel and relax, finishing their peaks.

Remus cant help the way he struggles to pull out, so oversensitive that his hips keep hitching back in place with the way Virgils body tries to keep him there, needing Logan to pull their hips apart to fully end the scene.

Logan strokes and comforts both exhausted omegas, now fully in his element, cooing soft reassurances to both, getting up to start a bath and carefully guiding them both in and cleaning them up. The sheets are changed and both are put in soft clothing and given juice and cuddles.

Remus would probably make a comment on asking drowsily just how Logan deals with being knotted to him for in upwards of 30 minutes if it feels like /That/ the whole time. Logan would probably just smile sweetly and press a sweet kiss to his lips and say "with experience of course, perhaps we can work on that too, if the both of you would be so inclined?"

Virgil shutters and whines, too tired to get worked up again, Remus in a similar boat but nodding drowsily anyway. Remus probably wakes up sore and gets worked up all over again at the memory of why his cock of all things is sore and sensetive.

Perhaps they do work on it, perhaps Remus is trained to a take it little longer each time, no where near half an hour for the longest time, but he gets pretty close and much better at holding from losing his mind.

Maybe then they explore what it feels like for Remus to be stuck on Logan's knot, while Virgil is stuck on Remus's 'knot' with the help of a toy. Maybe then they also explore working Virgil up to take both of their cocks, and see what happens what Logan's fingers curl just right to trigger that knotted feeling to have Virgil lose his goddamn mind impaled on both their cocks as they slowly thrust in and out despite his body thinking he's already been knotted and reacting as such.

Maybe they even explore working Virgil's other hole open, just enough to take Logan's knot, and give Remus free reign to fuck Virgil's soaking trembling cunt until they can coax Virgil's cunt into taking Remus's 'knot' as well

Idk man. Just. This whole dynamic has so many hot possibilities. 💕💕💕

#not safe for sanders #nsfs virgil #nsfs logan #nsfs remus #nsfs analomus #lodukexiety #whats their ship name?? #prince writes #abo au #ask to tag #edit to add the content warning bc i hadnt had time earlier to remember it let alone put it in

[prongssmrrcury]

a very bleak christmas

wolfstar fic /// one shot

word count ( 6.2k ITS LONG SORRY)

fluff, not much smut

this turned out awfully long IM SORRY😭 having that said i hope you enjoy <33 ily mwahh

"you ready wormy?" james said, shutting his trunk and looking at his bed and around the dormitory to make sure hasnt forgotten anything. he looked over at the shorter boy with sandy coloured hair who was bending down apparently trying to get something he dropped from under the bed, but struggling a great deal. he nervously shot his head up giving james a weak smile and said "yes, im ready, i just dropped something here im not sure what-"

"just tell moony to fetch it for you while we're away" james said and peter just agreed and left the dormitory trailing after james with his trunk, shutting the door on his way. the gryffindor common room was emptier than usual, but the fireplace was lit with a couple of people huddling around it to shield themselves from the ruthless cold of december. despite this however, peoples spirits were as light as ever as almost everyone was departing for two weeks to spend christmas with their families, even lily evans stopped rolling her eyes every time james breathed, and started spending more time with him and ( to james' great delight) enjoying his company. speaking of lily, she was standing by the fireplace with her hair up in a ponytail with a furry winter cap on her head. james noticed her at once and made his way down the flight of stairs and tapped her shoulder softly, she turned around and gave him a warm smile, a short hug followed.

"happy holidays james!" she smiled so widely it watered james' eye. she called him james, not potter.

"happy holidays" he managed to respond, taken aback by the sudden affection she just showed him. she looked around furrowing her brows slightly then spoke, "wheres your trunk? have you not packed?"

"oh no i have! i left my trunk with peter to um, you know, come and say hi" he said the second part of the sentence quietly, she let out a soft laugh, god he just wanted to kiss her so bad. "wheres yours?" he asked quickly. she turned around slightly to show him her trunk which was standing behind her, tapping it twice.

"alright then, lets go down to breakfast, minnie wouldnt want us to be late" he told her, taking her hand and leading her out of the common room with him. he looked back at peter who was struggling with his own trunk and james' but peter just shot him a thumbs up as if he got everything under control.

"alright wormy, dont be late" he muttered. the pair of them walked down from the gryffindor tower to the entrance hall and right to the great hall where elaborate christmas decorations were encapsulating the place, giving the entire castle a more homey vibe. the four house tables were emptier than usual, james and lily made their way to the gryffindor table where they were met by a handsome boy with long hair that he managed to scruff in a very messy pony tail, and a taller boy sitting across him who seemed to find his buttering his toast to be a very intriguing activity. lily and james took seats next to them.

"morning" sirius spoke, looking at lily then at james.

"morning sirius, how are you" lily replied, who also began buttering her toast. sirius didnt respond right away, instead he eyed her then finally spoke, "oh im, im very good" it didnt really seem like it, sirius didnt seem to be in his loud, arrogant and flirtatious mood today, instead a rather dull and quiet one. lily looked at james silently trying to understand what had caused the sudden change in sirius behavior, she was met a mere shrug from james. the four of them sat in silence for the next ten minutes, no one breaking silence that seemed to have swallowed them. remus then looked up for the first time and sighed loudly, which made sirius look very attentively at him, waiting for him to say anything.

"im gonna go, im in the dorm if you want me pads. enjoy your holidays james, you too lily" he said lowly, also clearly in a dull mood in contrast to everyones mood right now. he got up and left, shooting them a weak smile before disappearing out of the great hall.

sirius watched him so closely even when he had gotten out of sight. it was common knowledge that the pair are in love and clearly fancied each other, almost everyone in school knew that. maybe its because of sirius' shameless attitude, cuddling with remus in the common room, sitting on his lap in the middle of the great hall, or pushing remus against a wall and just stand in front of him doing god knows what. the only problem was... neither sirius nor remus knew they liked each other. they obviously knew they had a different relationship than anyone else but they were so oblivious to the fact that theyre in love that it sometimes made james just want to scream it in their face.

"you okay pads?" james said mockingly, sirius had been staring at where remus left for at least ten minutes completely transfixed, he came back to his senses at once and looking abruptly between james and lily then back at his doughnut, fiddling with it slightly. he then shot james an alarmed look and said, "dont call me that james". he spoke so firmly, he knew james knew this is what remus calls him. no one was really allowed to use that nickname with him, even he and james who had a light hearted friendship that was basically based on jokes and pranks, sirius pronounced the words looking into james' eyes, which made james know he was being one hundred percent serious. james didnt respond, feeling a rush of guilt in his stomach, he just took a bite of his oatmeal.

"how are things with you two" james asked. sirius once again didnt respond right away but instead took time to ponder his answer.

"what do you mean how are things"

"you know, have you guys had a row or anything?" james asked, stuffing more oatmeal in his mouth.

"oh- um yea no. not really no" sirius hesitated a bit. the truth is that remus and him didnt have a row, but today was one of these occasions where sirius woke up finding himself on remus' bed not knowing how or why. it had happened a couple of times before and when it did, remus would immediately smile warmly at sirius and pamper him with kisses here and there on his cheek and his jaw. however, today, remus woke up a bit more shaky to the fact that he was in the same bed as sirius. he straightened his pyjamas quickly giving sirius an awkward smile and leaving without a word.

james dropped his oatmeal and looked at sirius looking serious for the first time, giving him a smile that carried something between sympathy and support.

"are you ever going to tell him?"

"tell him what" sirius said bluntly

james smirked. even lily suppressed a knowing look. sirius rolled his eyes.

"you guys are not onto that bullshit the whole school talks about right?" he asked cringing slightly.

"if the bullshit includes you and remus being blindly in love then yes" james gave a small laugh.

"literally blindly" lily mumbled, but sirius heard her and gave her a look.

"guys- hes my best mate"

"doing a lot of canoodling with your 'best mate' ?" james smirked rolling his eyes.

"first of all, what the fuck is canoodling james, this isnt the eighteenth century" he ppinted out the weird choice of wording.

"whatever, point is, people dont sleep on their 'best mates' chests every day padfoot" sirius opened his mouth to protest but james cut him again "just save your breath will you. im trying to help"

sirius sighed heavily burying his head in his hands and shaking it.

"i dont fucking know what to do prongs. fuck ugh i hate this so much why cant it be simpler" sirius' voice got weaker.

"mate just talk to him, remus cant read your mind. and its pretty obvious the feelings mutual" james tried to convince him.

"i dont know if hes into- you know, into me" sirius tried to explain. sirius had come out to the entire school three years ago so it was common knowledge that was gay.

"oh he is" lily said

sirius blinked.

"i mean, i spend a lot of time with him in our prefects meetings and in the library and stuff" she explained. sirius blinked again.

"i mean" she began again, "he talks about you an awful lot and seems to be quite fond of you" she smiled.

"look, you'll never know if you dont ask" james said again. "look at me, i had to ask lily out at least fifteen times-"

"james what the fuck this isnt the same, why are you even comparing it" sirius interrupted

"oh of course its not the same, but communication is key, no matter what the relationship is"

"yea and when i ask him out and he just says i misunderstood all his soft affectionate gestures, then stops hanging out with me because im gay and he would know i have feelings for him, that clearly arent mutual. i'll just ruin everything, and i'll lose probably the only person that likes me in this lousy world" sirius spilled, laughing bitterly.

"sirius! you know remus would never stop hanging out with you because of that, you know it!" james said, his voice getting a bit louder.

"yea but it'd be a sticky situation when your gay friend has feelings for you" sirius said, his eyes filled with tears that he wiped right away hoping james and lily didnt see that.

"sirius.." lily said lowly

"lily can you please check up on peter and help him if needs any assistance" james told her firmly, she didnt need telling twice, knowing he wanted to be left alone with sirius. she made her way out of the great hall until she was out of sight, then james look at sirius again who had his head buried in his hands once again.

"sirius i dont know whats gotten into you today, but you know damn well that neither moony or i would ever think of you any differently because you're gay. stop saying that as if its something that hinders you" this was one of the rare occasions where james was serious and firm. he wanted sirius to know meant every word that left his mouth. at this moment he heard a sniff followed by a weak sob.

"james, i sometimes wish i wanst- wasnt, you know, gay" he managed to say between sobs. james' face fell suddenly.

"no dont say that. please dont say that, you know we love you the way you are and we dont give two damns if you're gay or not" james got up and made his way across the table to sit next to sirius rather than in front of him.

"you're me best mate, i dont like seeing you like this. i love you a lot sirius and nothing your little overthinking brain comes up with could change that" he said, pulling sirius into a hug, so hard that he mightve broken a few ribs. he wasnt gonna let go before sirius does, he could stay here all day until sirius was ready to let go. he heard strong sniffs and felt his chest going up and down. sirius broke the hug after a few minutes, looking a lot more content than he had a few minutes before. james gave him his usual cheeky smile.

"your fucking snout sirius" james laughed, picking up a handkerchief trying to clean his shoulder.

"fuck off" sirius managed to laugh, sniffing again.

"thank you" sirius said quietly

"come off it, dont thank me" james smiled at him. he watched him grab a cigarette and right when he was about to light it with the tip of his wand james stopped him hesitantly. james never really liked to mother him about smoking or give him lectures about the effects smoking had, but he noticed sirius was eating less and smoking more the past couple of days. sirius shot a "what-do-you-want" look to which james responded, "um, can you please just eat something before you smoke" james said. he knew this was a touchy subject, he never liked to mention it but they were alone and he knows he's the only one sirius would listen to. sirius gave him a hesitant look, before stuffing the cigarette back in his pocket.

"just for you prongs" he rolled his eyes, taking a bite of his doughnut. james however was filled with so much joy seeing his best friend do that just for him.

"what are you smiling so much at you prat" sirius said between bites. james shook his head softly before saying, "im very proud of you sirius, i hope you know that" sirius smiled and laughed dismissively at that statement, james knew it touched him but sirius never really knew how to respond to affectionate words.

"you're very sappy you know that" sirius laughed slightly.

"whatever" james felt his cheeks go red. "anyway i have to get going before i get minnie mad on christmas" he said, getting up, swinging his backpack on his back leaving the hall.

"tell moony i say merry christmas" james called, leaving the great hall also disappearing out of sight.

~

later that night, james and lily departed home to spend the upcoming weeks with their families to celebrate christmas, so did most of the school. as homey and welcoming as the school felt, everyone loved going back to their family, everyone except sirius. sirius was never fond of his family, he never had a good relationship with them and all they did was make him more miserable, he would take any chance to be away from them. sirius was sat in the library that was emptier than usual (but the ceiling was enchanted to fake snow) he was sitting with two giant books opened in front of him, yellowed by age. he looked over at the books, he hadnt read a single word despite being here for nearly an hour. he came here in an attempt to distract himself from the intensifying amount of nerves and stress, however, he was so lost in his thoughts that not even that gigantic book can save him from his exhausting overthinking. he sighed heavily, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulder, shutting the books that made a loud thud and put them back in their place. sirius swung his backpack on his back and left the library making his way to the gryffindor tower. he just wanted to sleep. yes, sleep, thats what he needed. he went through the fat lady's portrait and climbed up the stairs to his dormitory, finding remus sitting on his four poster bed completely engulfed by a book. remus shot his eyes up the second he heard sirius walking in and gave him a wordless smile, going back to his book. sirius' stomach did a funny lurch.

"i was starting to think youve forgotten your way around the castle" remus said, flipping the page of his book, still reading it. sirius looked at him nervously, not sure what he meant by that.

"what?" sirius asked, he was going to take his shirt off and get in his pyjamas but stopped abruptly. he didnt wanna make remus uncomfortable around him, especially after what happened this morning. they always had a very intimate relationship though, changing in front of each other was never a problem. remus suppressed a chuckle which made sirius look at him, unsure what he found comical in this very intense atmosphere.

"you can take your shirt off if you want sirius" remus said, still poured into his book.

"how can you even see me?" sirius couldnt stop himself. remus looked up from his book and gave him a is-that-even-a-question look. sirius slipped his undone tie, unbuttoning his buttons his fingers shaking horribly for a reason he didn't understand. he knew remus was looking in his book (not that he didnt want remus looking) but he still felt like all the worlds eyes are on him. a couple of awfully long minutes passed and sirius finally was in his pyjama and got into his bed under his blanket and stared absentmindedly into the wall. remus flipped the page once again, he hadnt read a word on the previous page. how could he? he was so preoccupied by sirius changing in front of him. remus did freak out when he found himself on the same bed as sirius this morning. he doesnt know why he freaked out the way he did, its not like its the first time. he knew that this had made sirius extremely self conscious the whole day, he was wearing a very dull look. he had to make up for his unexplainable actions, he cant stand seeing sirius this upset, especially if he was the reason hes feeling like that. he couldnt stand seeing him in such a bad mood on breakfast this morning that he had to dismiss himself early. but sirius' loss of his loud flirtatious attitude was what stirred the pot for remus. he didnt walk in the dorm and try to slip in bed with remus, or get a kiss from him, or remotely try draw any attention to hismelf from remus rather than that book in his hand, which was as un-sirius as one can get.

"why were you late?" remus asked sirius, knowing hes not asleep. sirius mumbled something inaudible from his bed that remus didnt catch onto. remus furrowed his brows slightly. he shut his book and put it on the bed side table, the sound he made when he shut his book made sirius shift in his bed to face remus who was staring back at him.

"where were you?" remus asked

"in the library" sirius said simply, avoiding any sarcasm or any joking around. remus face wore a surprised expression.

"oh- by your own will?" he said with a breathy laugh.

"yea" sirius replied

"what were you reading?" said remus, sounding excited. sirius didnt exactly know why he wad being interrogated by remus about his absence.

"um, i was just doing homework"

"oh, thats actually nice pads" remus smiled. sirius' stomach did another flip at the nickname. god this was so awkward and tense, sirius thought.

"sirius are you mad at me?" remus said, going straight to the point. every muscle in sirius' body went tense and completely still.

"no" sirius said bluntly.

"sure?"

"yea"

"okay. great then. um do you wanna come lay here with me?" remus offered, this was quiet foreign for remus as it was never him who initiated anything sexual or intimate. but he was willing to go out of his comfort zone for sirius. just for sirius.

"uh- sorry moony im really tired" it pained sirius to say these words, if he was being honest, he wanted nothing more than to lay in remus' chest right now and give him soft pecks and kiss his stupid plump lips.

"oh, okay" remus said lowly. "okay then" sirius wasnt sure what he meant by that tone, and before sirius has any other second to think about it, he felt his bed dip slightly and remus climbing on him, placing himself on top of sirius with his legs wide opened around his waist. sirius felt like all the oxygen in the world had escaped his lungs.

"tired, you said you are pads? want a little massage?" remus cooed softly. he leaned down on sirius' chest undoing his pyjama buttons revealing his tattooed chest.

"remus-" sirius tried to stop him. sirius promised himself he wasnt going to do anything like that with remus because he doesnt want to make him uncomfortable or possibly hate him more, however, this is different. its remus thats initiating it. it remus that did it.

"what pads?" remus continued cooing softly, completely stripping sirius of his shirt and attaching his lips on sirius' neck. at this exact moment, sirius moaned louder than he intended. he shifted slightly in his bed and put his hand through remus' hair. remus continued nibbling sirius' neck. he bit and licked at all the right spots, leaving a soft trail of kisses all over his neck and made his way up to his chin and on his lips, where he left a soft peck. sirius however pulled remus' head back towards him to kiss him properly, remus licked sirius' bottom lip which made sirius moan approvingly into the kiss. remus slipped his tongue in sirius' mouth and deepened the kiss, he felt sirius' hand wandering around his shoulder and slipped in his shirt to touch his bare skin.

"god this is so" remus moaned breaking the kiss only to attach his lips on his once again.

"remus-" sirius stopped him abruptly. remus looked down on sirius, his eyes mobing fast between his godly features, furrowing his brows slightly not understanding why sirius stopped him. did he make him uncomfortable? was sirius really not in the mood and remus overstepped a boundry? remus felt a horrible tingling feeling in his stomach as his brain raced between all the possibilities.

"remus im sorry- i cant do this" sirius said, as soon as the words left his mouth he felt horrible, reading the shocked and bewildered expression on remus face, he looked very hurt and unsure of himself.

"oh- fuck okay im sorry" remus said quickly, getting off sirius and leaving his bed, but sirius held his arm to immobilize him and not make him leave. they stared at each other for a few seconds that felt painfully long. both of them felt confused, upset with themselves and unsure of what to do or say next.

"can you please stay" sirius said quietly avoiding remus' eye. remus didnt respond which made sirius feel a horrible pit of nerves in his stomach.

"i- i don't understand. you just asked me to stop and told me you cant do this" remus spoke lowly with a soft rasp in his voice. sirius buried his head in his hand, he was on the brink of tears, he honestly didnt know what or how to explain his confusion to remus. how could he explain it or put it in cohesive words when he himself didn't understand.

"sirius please talk to me" remus said softly, holding sirius' hand

"rem i dont know how-"

"do you trust me?" remus cut him off.

"what- yes of course" sirius said sternly.

"then please tell me how you feel"

"how i feel about what?" sirius asked

"about doing this" remus tried to explain, sirius knew at once he was referring to all the sexual stuff they do.

"remus i love it. i enjoy it a lot, i sometimes just want the day to end only to get in bed with you. i- i dont know how to word my feelings because it's honestly just all a mess inside me" sirius spilled. this was the most he'd spoken all day. remus smiled at the last sentence. "what about you?" sirius asked, feeling the same horrible pit of nerves in his stomach increase. remus however smiled.

"i do things for you pads that id never do to anyone" he said, smiling more. he leaned closer to sirius' face and brushing a few strands of his hair out of his face. "but, if you feel unsure about this, we can stop and just be friends. i'd completely understand"

"no what the fuck moony" sirius said before he could stop himself, remus looked in his eyes. "no im unsure about your feelings to me, not about my feelings to you" he tried to explain.

"you think i dont like you?" remus asked quickly.

"well not exactly but im not sure how you feel towards me". at this, remus leaned down to kiss sirius lips a soft and tender kiss. he took his time to savor every bit of his mouth he could.

"maybe this would give you a good idea about how i feel about you" he smiled at him. "we're both exhausted, its best if we just go to sleep"

"right okay. can you sleep with me?" sirius asked, remus gave a breathy laugh at his sweet request.

"yes darling i can" he said with his usual rasp apparent, getting under the blanket and spooning sirius playing with his hair for the the next foreseeable hours until both of them were sleeping.

soft sun rays illuminated through the window of the gryffindor tower and on the entire hogwarts grounds. the translucent curtains that were in the dormitory were not doing any shielding from the sun rays whatsoever. it fell gently on the two boys that were sleeping together, tangled together, their bodies almost intertwining so perfectly with each other as if they were jigsaw pieces. sirius' head was on remus' chest, remus hugging sirius' body towards him and their legs just tangled. they looked so peaceful, their chests raising and going down every couple of seconds, it was all so perfect that one could confidently bet that even their heartbeats were in sync.

an owl came knocking its beak on the window above the bed theyre on, breaking the gentle yet majestically peaceful the state they were in. sirius shifted slightly in his sleep, opening his eyes to find uninvited sunlight penetrating right through his eyeballs. the owl made another knock on the window trying to grab their attention.

"fine okay" sirius said rasply, he got up sitting upright opening the window for that stupid owl that interrupted his sleep. the owl had two parcels tied on its leg. sirius untied them and the owl flew out at once.

"whos that from?" a raspy voice spoke he immediately knew it was remus.

"um, i think its" he turned the parcel around to see if there was any name, he smiled when he saw the senders name.

"yep, its from prongs" he said looking at remus who also smiled warmly.

"well, we'll open it later, lets just get up quickly now before we miss breakfast" he said, sitting up right and sliding his legs out of the bed. the two boys changed into their normal clothes. remus got into a hand knitted sweater and pants, sirius also got into a baggy sweatshirt and sloppily tied his hair up.

"pads is that mine?" remus smiled looking at the sweater sirius was wearing.

"maybe" sirius replied with a cheeky tone.

"course it is" remus rolled his eyes. "you literally have the biggest closet out of all of us, yet youre never wearing your shit" sirius gave him a weird look.

"not that i mind it darling" remus said softly, playing with sirius' hair slightly. they both left the dormitory and walked down to the common room with the intention to leave to the great hall, however they were met by a small table that was put in front of the fireplace with breakfast food laying on it. they looked at each other exchanging weird looks.

"there was no point of making you leave the common room only to go down and eat when its only you too in the whole school" professor mcgonagall's voice spoke. she was sitting on an armchair wearing her usual green dressing gown. "well anyway, im going down to have breakfast with the rest of the teachers. you two have a merry christmas" she smiled slightly and left the common room.

remus and sirius were just left there standing stupidly in front of the food table.

"well, i guess we're not leaving. sit down lets eat im starving" sirius said sitting himself down and starting to eat toast. they both ate until they were full and just laid on their armchairs to take their breath.

"wanna open the parcel prongs sent?" remus asked after ten minutes of silence.

"uhh sure" sirius said, getting the parcels, handing remus one box and he opened the other one. he tore the wrapping and opened it, a smile breaking on his face.

"he got me a wand polishing set. oh and look, he got me some hair bands" remus laughed a little. sirius put the hair bands in his wrist.

"what are you laughing at, i love it" sirius smiled "what did he get you?"

"he got me part six of 'crows or crowns'. its my favorite book and he knows i couldn't find that volume anywhere" remus' face wore a very big smile from that present. "oh and look! he got me a vest, it's beautiful"

"i'll be wearing that" sirius said at once

"of course darling you can wear it whenever"

"remus open my gift!" sirius said with so much excitement, remus held the huge box wondering what he has inside. he stared at sirius before opening it, unsure of what will meet him when he opens it. his suspicion grew larger when he was met by a cheeky smiling sirius.

"its not gonna blow up in my face right?" remus laughed a little

"only one way to find out" sirius shrugged

"oh god" remus joked. he opened the box and the first thing he saw was a big box inside labeled 'book polishing kit' remus' face fell with shock.

"sirius! sirius is this a book polishing kit? oh my god" he was gasping. sirius felt his cheeks burn by the fond expression on remus' face.

"holy shit pads where did you get this, these are so rare and expensive" he held it close to his face examining it with so much excitement.

"shhh its a gift" sirius was kind of embarrassed fora reason he doesnt know. "theres more stuff"

remus looked inside the box and laughed out loudly when he saw at least a doesnt bars of chocolate.

"what are you laughing at! this is the muggle chocolate you told me you like" sirius said flustered a little.

"yes yes i love it" remus smiled. "thank you"

sirius shrugged, not knowing what to say in situations like this.

"um, right open my gift" remus said looking nervous. remus' gift was something a little different and not very expected, he spent a lot of time thinking whether its a good idea or not. hes so nervous for sirius to see it, he felt his stomach lurch so badly he might vomit. he handed sirius an a4 piece of parchment that was folded into quarters. sirius gave him a confused yet excited look.

"are you giving me your transfiguration homework as a christmas gift moony" he joked.

"oh shut up and open it" every fibre in remus' body was screaming in anticipation and nerves. sirius unfolded the paper and read:

"dear sirius,

i am writing this in the dormitory for the fifteenth time at least. i thought so much about this and decided that its perfect. six years ago when i laid eyes on you for the first time, you had this aura that carried so much charm, something about your stupid gorgeous personality was so seductive and made me in complete lust for you. there aren't enough words in the english language to explain how you make me feel, nothing will come close to describing how i feel when you slip in bed with me every night, when i play with your hair, when i hear your heartbeats, when i hold your hand and stroke it with my thumb, when you kiss my scars, when you sit next to me in class sit there looking pretty doing nothing. i came to the conclusion that every little thing you do has me in utter awe. no one has ever made me feel like that, for a long time i was so confused as to why and how you could do that so effortlessly. i was confused about how i felt about you for so long, i was so confused about myself, and you helped me come to terms with who i am, by being so unapologetically you. at the end of a hard day you're always there to cheer me up, even in my darkest days, when nothing felt like it'll be okay ever again, you're always fucking here to change that. the number of times you've saved my life sirius, i couldnt tell you, by just merely being here. i figured that no matter what happens and no matter where life takes me, i want to always be with you. i never want to see that day i have to depart you, i dont ever see it coming because not even the strongest force from the gods above will make me leave you. im in love with you. im so fucking in love you idiot. im in love with the way you talk, the way you tie your hair, the way you dress, the way your eyes crease when you smile, your bark like laugh, your stupid jokes that i find funny unironically, your chirped nail polish... just in love with you. so sirius, this is me asking, do you want to be my boyfriend?"

sirius read the letters at least three times to make sure he wasnt missing anything, to make sure he was reading it correctly. was remus asking him out? was remus actually in love with him? none of this felt real. sirius felt like he's seeing stars in his vision, like he was going to pass out any second right now. he looked up at remus who was staring attentively on him and watching his every reaction. he met eyes with him and felt like all the worlds oxygen was being drained.

"so?" remus asked, his voice quivering.

"so?" he repeated as if this was a incredulous thing so say, " fuck yes i wanna be your boyfriend" sirius threw himself on remus on his armchair and splattered him with kissed everywhere he could reach.

"i never thought id be the lucky person to actually end up dating you" sirius breathed

"please, im the lucky one here" remus rolled his eyes.

"i mean hell yeah you are" sirius said sarcastically.

the pair of them spent the rest of the day sitting on the armchair cuddled up with the heat of each other, sharing soft intimate touches every now and then. they spent the whole day in peace and delicacy and made the most out of each other’s company. soon enough before they knew it, the holidays were over and students were returning to hogwarts for their second term.

“hi remus! hey sirius, good holiday? how are you two?” james showered them with questions enthusiastically when they saw him come in the gryffindor common room, he seemed to be in a cheerful mood.

“yea, great holiday” remus mumbled finding himself an armchair and sitting in it. the rest followed and sat on armchairs around him but sirius sat on his lap which remus scooted over a little to make space for him. james and lily looked at each other rolling their eyes playfully but happy that theyre on good terms, unlike the last time they saw them.

“what about you two? and you wormy? how was ur holiday” remus asked calmly, playing with sirius’ hair absentmindedly.

“great we had a great a time, i invited lily and wormy over, wormy couldnt make it though. but lily and i had fun, my parents liked her a lot” james smirked looking at her. “obviously they knew her because i always talked about her to them, but they’ve never really- woah WOAH” james’ speach was cut abruptly when he saw sirius attach his lips to remus’ and remus kissed him back fondly. they all exchanged shocked looks but they werent too shocked, they knew something was happening between the pair of them.

“woah guys” james laughed as they broke the kiss apart and giggled at their reaction.

“yea um, remus and i are dating” sirius said, lookinh flustered slightly. remus was still playing with his hair softly.

“does that mea we can go on double dates?” james said at once

“james potter i am not going on double dates with you and sirius thank you very much” lily said sarcastically.

“suit yourself, james and i are going on dates” sirius shrugged

“james and you are what-“ lily looked confused but cant help a laugh.

“thats right evans” sirius said in a dignified tone.

“dont you talk to my girlfriend like that black!” remus said at once. they all laughed at the sitiuation but lily said with a serious voice, “guys im so happy for you, youre finally together” she smiled wamrly. remus and sirius scooted closer next to each other smiling back at her.

“really proud of my mates” james said, trying to keep a serious tone but smirking at the same time.

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