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#they’ve been dealt and they can be the difference
chibi-scone · 1 month
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It’s been said before and the fact that I’m an Izzy simp aside like having a character who survives the most certain death shit ever (shooting himself in the head at point blank) and literally being nicknamed by another character “indestructible” and then become a symbol of protection for a whole group of people die from a fucking bullet to the side that was established in universe to have no vital organs in order to “atone for his sins” or however you wanna spin it and have him say he wants to go after (see point one) literally trying to kill himself in the show that is literally about growth and betterment of the self in a cruel world that wants you dead and where the main (and mostly queer) characters survive the most batshit insane injuries is like COSMICALLY stupid writing like I don’t even understand how you get there and the fact that it’s supposed to be a kind/ happy/meaningful ending is beyond me
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#and Izzy’s whole speech to Ricky before that could be interpreted as what like#being about even if you kill and try to eradicate queer people we’ll always be here#and then have RICKY deal the killing blow ????#wahhhh it’s symbolic#ok it would’ve been more symbolic to have the fucking queer character live like idc you’re all stupid god bless#ofmd critical#tbd#maybe#oh and then I mean not even talking about how it’s supposedly all good#because the main gays who had borderline no redeeming qualities this season had their picket fence ending#literally what’s the point of having Ed come back from the dead#so he can learn that death is not the answer and that there’s love and betterment for him#and have that whole scene with Jim and Archie where they refuse to kill one another because there’s more to life than the cards#they’ve been dealt and they can be the difference#JUST TO HAVE THAT ENDING#my god I just#sorry if you guys are sick of me ranting about ofmd like 5 months after the shit show supreme#but these are like all thoughts that I’ve just had in my head for months but tried to forget#and now they’re just spilling out like idc anymore#ppl have made so many good posts that all say what I think but ig I still need to rant myself jvhsjnv#how long can your neck be for it to allow you to bury your head so deep in the sand#where you truly believe this is good writing idk#side note but gifs of cats randomly blowing up are my favourites#‘Izzy bettered himself before dying so it’s aaaallll good’ hits you hits you#stupid ass shit argument but also that was across maybe a week and dude was piss drunk dissociative half the time
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loveinhawkins · 10 months
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Steve’s bat bites start to bleed again during the drive out of The War Zone.
It’s a slow realisation, a creeping dampness on his skin.
He stays as still as he can, keeps his movements small and contained when turning the steering wheel; he thinks he mostly gets away with it, manages to park the RV and pitch his voice on just the right side of normal as he tells the kids to scram.
Awareness of his surroundings grows a little fuzzy around the edges, but he senses enough to know that he’s alone—the silence feels heavy, makes his ears ring.
He lifts himself up out of his seat, one hand clinging onto the headrest for balance. The ringing gets sharper, more high-pitched; he shakes his head to try and clear it.
One step forward, then another, and another.
There’s a slight rocking motion under his feet. It feels a little like he’s in a boat that’s docked, constant movement even in the gentlest of waters.
His palms brush against the bathroom door.
“Okay,” Steve whispers to himself.
He hangs onto the sink to keep himself upright—feels the room sway, as if the waters underneath have suddenly become stormy.
With one hand, he finds the knot in the bandage.
“Okay, okay…”
Pulls.
Steve doesn’t think he blacks out, not quite, but there’s a shift, a dizzying tilt… and then, somehow, he’s sitting on the closed toilet seat.
And…
The bat bites must cause hallucinations or something.
Otherwise, Steve cannot explain why Eddie—who notoriously threw up and passed out during a dissection in Biology—is currently pressing a clean bandage against his stomach, staring down at the blood like he can’t look away.
“You’re good, you’re good,” Eddie’s saying.
He’s clearly trying to sound calm, but it’s just coming out strained, like what he really means is this is all a fucking nightmare actually, but we’ve gotta find something to be optimistic about.
“Think it just needs some more pressure,” he goes on. “Yeah, there, see? It’s stopping. Oh, thank God.”
Steve feels more gauze getting wrapped around his middle—if he wasn’t injured, it’d almost be a nice sensation, Eddie’s touch somehow the perfect mix of both firm and gentle.
As he works, Eddie hums nervously.
“Talk to me Harrington,” he says in a shaky sing-song. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging, man, gimme some awkward small talk. Got any hopes? Dreams? Anything I should know?
Oh, so many things, Steve thinks, still light-headed.
But then he really does mull that over: his mind goes to The Upside Down, to belatedly telling Eddie about the hive mind, and oh shit.
“Hey, weird question,” Steve says, “but I’ve not been, like, asking you to make it cold in here or, um, anything like that?”
Eddie blinks. “Uh. No?”
“Okay.” Before he lets the relief of hearing Eddie’s answer sink in, Steve adds, “If I ever do, you need to lock me in here and get out. Tell Nancy.”
Eddie’s staring at him like he’s grown a second head. “Sure. Cool. Cool! Uh, for any particular reason or—?”
“Just in case—like, I don’t feel any different, but—one time, Will Byers, when he was in The Upside Down it, like, infected him? Like a virus. Except more… possession. And they had to kinda… burn it outta him.”
“Ha,” Eddie says. A beat. “Oh fuck, you’re serious.”
“I really don’t have the energy to be messing with you, dude.”
“Sorry. Sometimes you all just say things, y’know? And if I don’t get it, I’m like, well, they’ve been living through this for a while, maybe they’ve got a code going on.”
“I mean,” Steve says, “we kinda do.”
Eddie shakes his head. “So when Buckley said she dealt with a human-flesh-based monster, and the one before that was smoke-related, that wasn’t just, like, a really fucked up metaphor?” Eddie’s eyes are wide, pleading. “Please say it was a metaphor.”
“Sorry,” Steve says sincerely.
Eddie sighs through a lacklustre chuckle. “You’re fine, Steve. As for, uh, being possessed, I don’t think so. You’re no weirder than usual, but—”
“Wow, thanks. Means such a lot coming from you.”
“—you were a bit, like, out of it for a few seconds, but it just looked like you were gonna faint on me. Um. How’re you feeling now?”
“Good,” Steve says. When Eddie raises an eyebrow, he tacks on, “As good as I can be, I guess. Still.” He groans slightly as he stands, goes back over to the sink. “Better check.”
“Check? What?”
Steve runs the water as hot as it will possibly go, until the steam is evident. He sticks his hand right into the stream, hears Eddie hiss as the water scalds his skin.
“Okay, yup. Not possessed.”
“Fucking fantastic. Now I want it cold,” Eddie says.
He takes control of the faucet, nods for Steve to put his hand under the now cold water.
After a minute or two, Eddie sighs and collapses onto the toilet seat himself.
There’s a squeak as Steve turns the faucet off—his skin’s probably not had the good of the cold water for nearly long enough, but it’ll do.
Eddie’s tipped his head back so he’s facing the ceiling, eyes closed. Steve watches him with sympathy; he really must hate blood.
“Eddie. You can go.”
“Mm, nope,” Eddie says without opening his eyes. “I’m fine right here.”
“Suit yourself.”
Steve turns back to the sink, frowns at the tiny mirror above it; there’s black spots on the glass, but he can make out enough. Christ, the bags under his eyes are horrific.
“Relax, Casanova,” Eddie says, almost as if he’s heard Steve’s thoughts. “You look good.”
“Uh-huh. Think your brain’s fried from being on the run.”
Steve leans against the sink with one hip, finds Eddie looking at him with a small smile.
“Yeah, probably. Or maybe being on the run just suits you.” Eddie’s eyes flicker down. His smile falters. “You know, in an ideal world,” he says conversationally, “you’d be in a hospital getting stitches.”
Steve scoffs. “In an ideal world, I’d be in bed sleeping.”
“Amen to that,” Eddie says lightly. But he still looks sombre. “Seriously, though. If it gets… you know. I’d drive you.”
“To the hospital? What are you gonna do, Eddie, wander up to the front desk? Sounds like a real interesting way to get arrested.”
But Eddie doesn’t leap at the chance to make a joke.
“Steve,” he says softly. “I mean it. I wouldn’t care.”
“That would sorta ruin the whole priority of hiding you.”
“That’s—” Eddie huffs. “That’s not the priority.”
“Huh, that’s funny, cause it is in my book.” Steve nods at the door, to his whole world just outside. “One of many.”
Eddie’s eyes narrow. “And your name better be right at the top, Harrington.”
Steve hums.
“In bold. Underlined.”
“Whatever you say.”
Eddie groans quietly, runs a hand down his face. “You worry me, man.”
“I’m not trying to.”
“I know. Just…” Eddie hesitates. “Don’t go off alone. You know?”
Steve thinks it over. He steps forward and offers Eddie his hand.
Eddie takes it.
When Steve pulls him up, he stumbles a little, as if he feels like he’s on a boat, too.
“Oops, sorry.” He grabs onto Steve’s forearm for balance. “Think this should be the other way round, man.”
“Hmm, I don’t think so.”
Steve leads the way out of the bathroom—doesn’t mention the fact that, really, they’re both holding each other up.
There’s a bottle of water left in the back. Steve twists the cap off. Drinks.
“You too,” he tells Eddie.
“Huh?”
Steve considers him—thinks of the little flare of panic he felt when watching Eddie walk through the woods, tiptoeing around vines. How he had a sudden instinct to catch up to him, to make sure he wasn’t alone.
“I’m making a deal,” Steve says. “I won’t go off alone if you don’t.”
He lifts the bottle up as if making a toast—drinks again then passes it over to Eddie.
For the slightest of moments, their fingers brush; Eddie’s rings skim over Steve’s knuckles.
“So what’s this?” Eddie asks. “Legally binding magical water?”
Steve shrugs. “Cool metaphor,” he replies.
You say you just turn heel and run, Eddie. But sometimes I think if there was a fire, you’d run towards the flames if it meant no-one else got hurt.
Eddie smiles. Tilts the bottle towards Steve.
“Guess it’s a promise, then,” he says.
He drinks.
Steve prays that it holds.
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targaryenluvs · 3 months
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— BEST LIFE
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pairings: spencer reid x fem!bau!reader (past), harvey specter x fem!juniorpartner!reader (present)
summary: you’d once been apart of the bau team, but after a situation and a falling out with your boyfriend you moved on. what happens when the bau needs your help on a case, which your boyfriend harvey is also assisting on?
warnings: angsty, asshole harvey cause duh, jealousy (spencer) kisses, cute harvey
wordcount: 1.7k
a/n: this literally sprouted in my mind and i just needed to write it lmao, if you haven’t watched suits or criminal minds go right now‼️ they’re both my husbands 😋
when jessica had called you into her office, you’d been calm. apparently one of your cases, which had you and harvey working together, was now of fbi interest. your client was currently suing a company for faulty wiring in his home, which caused it to burn down. and it was apparently not the case at all, the home was suspected to be tied into a serial arsonist.
what you didn’t expect was for your client to be accused of being the arsonist.
“you’re sitting here,”
“uh-huh.”
“telling me,”
“yup.”
“that i’m supposed to believe that richard jeena, the fifty three year old little man, is a serial arsonist?”
you shut the file infront of you, meeting harvey’s eye, “sweetheart?” he uncrossed his legs, leaning forwards with a sweet smile, “yes?” you leaned forwards as well, “that, is exactly what i’m telling you.” harvey leaned back into his chair, disbelief riddling his face.
“and the fbi is flying here?” you nodded along, “fbi agents?” you nodded again, “probably field agents or whatever they’re called. they’ll sit in on the trial, survey the scenes, collect evidence and all.” the familiar clicking of donna’s heels brought a smile to your face, “profilers.”
your heart dropped with one word, “what’d you say?” donna made her way to the two of you, plopping herself down in the chair next to you, “it’s those fbi profilers. yknow, they look at the room and can tell you if he’s left or right handed, blonde, mommy issues and all. nice little packaged criminal profile in seconds.” you couldn’t help correcting her, having dealt with your fair share of assumptions in your years as a profiler.
“that’s not how it works,” harvey swiveled in his chair as donna looked your way, “oh?” harvey smirked as you sighed, “that’s not how it works, we don’t just walk into a room and have it speak to us. we survey the place, fresh eyes and open minds. we look for the things that everyone else seems to miss. we put ourselves in the minds of the criminals themselves, to get a better understanding of them, why they did it and all. you work your way back, start from the victim maybe, see where they’ve been, what they did in the last week, who they talk to. sometimes the killers in their personal circle but not always. every case is different, we try our best to provide an accurate, unbiased profile.”
“i want to take you on my desk, right now.” you rolled your eyes at your boyfriends words as donna stared intently, “we. you said ‘we’, as if you know what they do and their job. oh my god, you use to be one. that’s the job you had before coming here! you have a degree in criminal justice, and you said your last job you were at for what, seven years?”
“i graduated high school early, entered harvard at a young age, graduated, entered the fbi at the same time as a— friend. was also studying law, sat the exam in new york since it’s where i wanted to be. finished up at harvard, i was mid to late twenties when i left, wound up here and am now a junior partner, capiche?”
“could just say your age.” mike stood by the door with a wad of files in his hand, “i’d rather die, mike.” harvey laughed, “please don’t incentivise my lovely girlfriend to killing herself mike.”
“as nice as it is to see you all bonding, and trust me, it hits me right in the heart, jessica wants yourself and y/n in the conference room.” louis spoke from the door as you stood up, “first of all, trust with you is fickle, second, tell it to hit you in the face next time lou.” you smacked harvey’s arm as he held his arms up, “friendly fire, i’ll put it out later.” you shoved him by his back before smiling at louis, “i’m sorry about him, he’s not a big fan of the fbi.” louis nodded as he followed you, “duly noted.”
“she’s right, damn pigs.” harvey joked as you approached the conference room, “your highness,” you grinned, “you never treat me so nicely when we’re at home harvey.” he held his hand over his heart, “now don’t lie sweetheart, i’m as nice as mike.” the snort that left your lips had harvey doubling over, “oh please, nice as mike? you wish.”
your giggles were drained from your throat as you stared at half of your old team.
derek morgan, emily prentiss, penelope garcia & spencer reid. the last name, and face you’d still not looked at yet. thankfully, harvey noticed your tenseness, “y/n? sweetheart, you alright?” there it was, that word, sweetheart. spencer couldn’t help but wonder, was it just a word? you always use to call him it, before you dated, teasing of course.
“yeah, i’m fine harv.” he nodded, even if he didn’t believe you he could always ask later on. pulling out his and yours chairs, you sat next to one another. “harvey specter & y/n l/n?” emily questioned as you nodded, “the one and only. and then there’s y/n.” harvey leaned back in his chair, whilst derek stared him down.
what an ass. is what he wanted to say, it was also what he assumed emily was thinking. “emily.” she glanced over at you, surprised at you using her name, “it’s nice to see you all. how’ve you been?” and the bewildered expression was wiped clean off your face, no remnant left. you were a damn lawyer, if there was one thing you’d learned, it was to keep a straight face.
penelope smiled, “we’ve been good, y/n. but we miss you, back home. you’re a lawyer now huh?” you grinned, “the one and only.” harvey squeezed your hand, you squeezed back. “youngest junior partner, ever. my dream. just hoping to make it to senior partner soon, take the title of youngest out from under this guy. i’m happy here, i hope you are too. but down to business.”
and for the next few hours, you’d sat and listened. overlooking the case files, giving statements, reviewing security footage from surrounding houses. at some point mike ended up in the room, having met with your client and being harvey’s associate.
you’d had the pleasure of introducing spencer and mike, the two undeniably similar. you felt comfortable, even betting with penelope that if they touched the world would implode.
“and how much would he loose?”
“127,478.23.” mike and spencer rushed out as the rest of you fought to suppress your smiles, “well y/n, seems like we’ve got a genius-off.” derek laughed as the two men looked towards you, “don’t worry i’ll still love you mike.” mike scoffed at your words, “what makes you think i’d loose?”
“because i know you, and i know reid. trust me, you’d loose.”
reid. not spencer, spence, sweetheart. none of the above, you’d used his last name. as if he was nothing more than a colleague.
“okay, we’ve been here for far too long. and as much as i’d like to sit here and slowly rot, i’d rather do that at the restaurant i have booked for dinner with two lovely ladies. y/n and i have a trial date tomorrow, 8.00am. i think, we bring him along, show him what’s to happen if he doesn’t confess, than toast victory champagne when said confession rolls through. how’s that sound?” if derek’s grin was any indicator, besides a big fat yes?
spencer wanted to puke, ‘lovely ladies?’ multiple women? this man was insufferable. you gathered yourself and harvey’s files, a hand gestured towards you, the last file in said hand. “thanks reid.” he smiled, “no problem-o.” your eyebrows furrowed, “never change do you?” spencer didn’t have time to respond, his brain was too busy blowing a fuse as harvey opened the door for you. “ready for dinner lovely lady?” they all heard harvey ask as you nodded, the four watched as you walked out, his hand on your back as he pecked you on the lips.
“reid, you alright?” derek’s hand rested on his shoulder, “i’m fine, why wouldn’t i be fine? don’t we have places to be? hotch would want to know their on our side, that they reviewed all the information. they’ll help us get a confession out of him.” derek sighed, “because you just saw your ex, who you haven’t seen in years. the one you never got over, happily living in new york as comfortable as possible. a successful business woman and lawyer, happily in a relationship.”
spencer shook his head, “you don’t know that.” emily directed a sympathetic smile his way, “we sat with them for three hours. we watched them laugh, bounce off of eachother for theories, quite literally finish eachothers sentences. order food for eachother without asking, and get their meals right. they held hands when they could, he continued to call her sweetheart. and now they’re going out to dinner.”
spencer’s shoulder dropped, they were right. he’d come here excited at the possibility of seeing you again, talking to you. maybe even beginning again with you. instead, you’re apparently with some suited up asshole. he was annoyingly sweet when it came to you though.
as if the whole three hours weren’t a slap in the face, harvey’s voice rung out through the hallway, “there’s my lovely lady!” rachel, who they’d all met earlier on, was currently guiding a young girl to harvey’s arms. “daddy!” if hearts were boats, than his was sinking. he may have had a chance beforehand, but now?
“is mommy here?” your daughter was currently situated on harvey’s hip, “why don’t you hug her and find out?” your arms were out in the open as your daughter squealed before running to you, “d’you have a fun day with rach?” she nodded her head rapidly as yourself and harvey smiled, he stood behind you, chest to back. his hand rested on your waist as the other moved aside hair from her face, before moving hair from your own.
“now, my lovely ladies, it’s time for dinner.”
lovely ladies, for once, spencer had made a mistake. harvey was going out with multiple women, but not in the way he thought. his daughter and the mother of his child, you.
his words and actions meant nothing, they would mean nothing. you were happy, so happy. you had everything you wanted, a loving marriage and man, a gorgeous family. something spencer hadn’t given you. a man who knew you could hold your own. spencer knew that too, but he couldn’t help himself back then.
right now, you were living your best life.
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occultwaters · 29 days
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Painful placements in astrology I
💜 Sun square/conjunct/opposite/inconjunct (quincunx) Pluto. Inconjunctions should be maximum 2/3 degrees. If I see this in a natal chart it would indicate to me that the native has had issues with their father or figures with authority in general. Could also be men in their family. I have also noticed the fathers side of the family were absent, early on they could have been separated. The separation could be due to many threats. If not cultivated well, this aspect is common amongst serial killers and people notorious for being bullies.
💙 Moon square/conjunct/opposite/inconjunct (quincunx) Pluto. Inconjunctions should be maximum 2/3 degrees. Now this would indicate a person who has issues with the mother figure in their family. This could also indicate issues with the women figures in their life. These people are also very distant with their mother’s side of the family. Like harsh Pluto and Sun, they were separated early on. Which again potentially could’ve been due to threats to their safety in general. If not cultivated well, this can lead to mental health issues, especially those relating to Pluto. Dark obsessions and desires etc.
💜 Having square placements to personal planets, this alone is very hard to deal with as there is strong friction no matter which side you look at. These people need to work on the aspect and appropriately release the energy, depending on the house, sign, and degree.
💙 Pluto in 12th. These individuals harbour a lot of their trauma in the subconscious. They have probably also seen some crazy things in the spirit world. It’s like they attract that sort of attention without really meaning to aswell. These individuals may also have very disturbing dreams and sleep paralysis.
💜 Saturn/Uranus/Chiron in 11th. This is a constant cycle of feeling alienated from society. These people may feel like they never found their group of friends. They crave for a home they’ve never had. These are also the type of people who have had friends make secret group chats behind their back and never include them. Just because Uranus is at home here, doesn’t make it any easier. This is also true if these placements are in Aquarius.
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💙 Harsh Venus and Saturn aspect (square, opposition, inconjunction). Or Venus in Capricorn/aquarius. These people were made to feel unworthy of love and care when they were younger. There’s a constant battle between loving oneself and self destructive behaviours. There is an imbalance with their feminine side, due to masculine/ figures of authority, making them feel like they weren’t good enough.
💜 Harsh Moon and Venus aspects (square, opposition, inconjunction). Again made to feel like they weren’t pretty enough and probably dealt with a lot of toxicity from maternal figures. There is also an imbalance with their feminine side due to issues with women, and maternal figures. These people also a lot of the times refuse to acknowledge their emotions and bottle things up a lot.
💙 Having inconjunctions/quincunx aspects. They need to be at a maximum 2/3 degree orb. This is similar to opposition. But the difference here is that two signs that have no similarity are making a harsh aspect. There’s bound to be heat and constant internal conflict. This one is about learning to balance the scale of energies from both areas.
💜 8th house placements. These people are constantly undergoing transformations in their life. They can easily leave everyone on delivered for months and when they return, they are no longer the same person. Then the cycle repeats. There’s a lot of trauma in these people’s lives, and a lot of it comes from family. But they’re also naturally talented when it comes to things like the occult. This aspect is powerful for astrologers as it gives the native the talent to deeply study and observe people for long periods of time. This also includes psychology.
💙 Saturn opposite/square/inconjunct Pluto. Again inconjunctions should be maximum 2/3 degrees to be truly felt. This is more of a generational aspect (may reflect the society more so). These individuals dad could carry some sort of deep trauma. This is a pretty heavy energy so will require a lot of work for the generation that has this. In addition, the themes of the abuse they dealt with surround feeling restricted from expressing oneself in regards to what Pluto represents. They seem like the sheep or the scape goat of the family. Also if they have siblings that don’t have a similar aspect, if they make a mistake, the punishment they receive can be harsher than if their sibling was to make the same mistake. Their dad/ authority figures in their family can also be/ may have been involved in the dark side of structured systems and have a lot of experience and knowledge regarding the world from that.
© 2024 occultwaters. All rights reserved.
💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙💜💙
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sabertoothwalrus · 7 months
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hi !! just curious because i was looking at your adventure time episode guide and i love hearing other peoples adventure time takes !! how come you don't like finn's characterisation in together again?
I've talked about it before here and here!
But also I'm gonna say more and share some art I did in 2021 for a rewrite comic that I never got around to doing
So again to reiterate: Adventure Time is usually VERY good at making it feel like time passes, even when you're not watching. It's something about what they don't show that tells you everything you need to know.
Together Again did not do this.
It really really felt like they were avoiding showing Finn as an adult, as if they wanted to leave his post-show life ambiguous. Which, now that Fionna and Cake has shown us literally that, it makes Together Again feel even more wrong?? Like. imagine you have to pick a moment from your life that represents You™ the most. Together Again said that Finn, after living his whole life and dying as an old man, feels most represented by how he was at 17. I do not buy this. I am 25, and I cannot fathom identifying by my 17 year old self. I was a completely different person then, I was still cooking. I can imagine most people feel the same. And ok, so maybe Finn DOES for some reason feel stuck at 17? Explain to me why!! What needed to happen to him that made him feel that way?
And before you just say "it's because Jake died," there's still too much that was left out. How old was Finn when Jake died? What was Finn like, at that point? What else had they accomplished? What was he doing at the time that was on the forefront of his mind? Where/with who did they spend most of their time? Where were they living after the treehouse got destroyed?
It was like,,, it was like the story Together Again actually wanted to tell was about Finn's grief, and how poorly he copes, and how too much of his identity is tied to Having Jake, and how he struggles to move on. But that's not the story we got. I honestly think-- as interesting as it was-- everything with New Death and Tiffany and Lich just did a disservice to the focus, which was Finn trying to get over Jake.
I think Together Again should have gone like this:
Finn and Jake had always planned that whoever died first would wait in the dead world for the other to die so the two of them could reincarnate. Jake dies first. Jake would be able to "watch over" Finn as he lives the rest of his life, so Jake wouldn't miss Finn as much as vice versa, since he'd feel like he's still there with him. Eventually, Finn dies.
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Finn's appearance would change with his emotional state. I thought it'd be interesting to show different phases of his life through the stages of grief.
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There'd be a room where they could watch Finn's memories. Finn would walk Jake through the events of his life. We SEE exactly how Finn dealt with grief, with heartbreak, with love, with friends, with community. All the good and all the bad.
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By the end of it, Finn is quiet. "Jake... when we reincarnate, will we.. lose all of this?" "Well, do you remember anything from any of your other past lives?" "No.. But that's the point. I don't want to forget you." Finn, despite their promise, despite Jake waiting for him all this time, declines reincarnating. He doesn't want to move on, because that would mean forgetting everything. He wants to say with Jake!! He JUST got Jake back!!
“What if— in the future— what if they forget about us? What if they don’t know about all the stuff we did?” We see Ooo in its current state. It’s changed, but it’s clearly been affected by the two of them. Every person they’ve saved, every civilization they helped build, every hero they’ve inspired. They’ve left their touch everywhere. “They’ll know,” Jake says with certainty. “We’ll know.” We see the future, with Shermy and Beth. We see the Finn Sword, and BMO with all their old belongings. Everything stays, but it still changes. Will happen, happening, happened. These have always been the themes of the show. They reincarnate, together.
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kiapet2 · 1 year
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Alright, it’s less than a week since the Owl House finale aired and as expected I’ve already seen two direct comparisons to Steven Universe’s ending and several more vague-blogs, because one of this site’s hobbies is using other queer shows to put down Steven Universe. So let’s do this, then. Let’s compare the endings of Owl House and Steven Universe, and what each is ultimately trying to say.
Steven Universe and the Owl House are both shows that deal heavily with the clash of individualism and self-expression vs. socially-mandated conformity, and both shows’ final villains ultimately embody this conflict. One major difference, however, is that Owl House approaches this from the perspective of legal/societal structures, while Steven Universe approaches it from the perspective of family structures.
Steven Universe has always been about family--and particularly the ways traumas and biases are passed down through a family--and it has always heavily used the language of metaphor to discuss these topics. The Diamonds are the ultimate extension of this theme, something a lot of bad-faith (or just bad) takes on the ending miss; they interpret the diamonds in their literal capacity as dictators, rather than the way Steven Universe always portrays them, which is as matriarchs, i.e. the heads of a family who dictate and control all the family’s other members. This metaphor becomes more and more blatant until it outright becomes text, with the Diamonds turning out to be Steven’s literal family members, with whom his part of the family is estranged because of their previous controlling behavior.
In accordance with this theme, we ultimately find out that the Diamonds’ toxic ideology, with its rigid standards of perfection, are not only something they enforce on the gems below them, but also on themselves. They are suffering from the system in their own ways, unable to live up to the standards they themselves created. And who among us hasn’t known someone like that? A parent or grandparent who grew up under a cruel, oppressive worldview, and instead of rebelling against it internalized it--who turned around and said “I dealt with this, and so can you”? And so the ending of Steven Universe is the Diamonds realizing exactly how toxic the rigid ideology they’ve spent their lives perpetuating really is, and confronting the fact that their adherence to this ideology is what destroyed their relationship with Pink, and that the only way they’re going to have a relationship with Steven is if they’re willing to commit to changing both themselves, and the family structure they’ve enforced for so long.
Emperor Belos, in contrast, is not suffering from the structures he created, because his rules were never meant to apply to him. He sees the witches (and demons, and so-on) as lesser beings, evil beings, who exist to be controlled, and ultimately, exterminated. And every element of the society he built--the schools, the government, the police force, the religion--he intentionally constructed to keep these lesser beings under his control. The real-world allegory isn’t hard to see, here. And because what Belos represents in the story is, in fact, a fascist leader, the story shows that he can’t be reasoned with in any way that matters, and instead he is ultimately ground into paste beneath the boots of the people he sought to destroy. Different themes, different endings.
Now the usual argument that comes up here is as follows: but the Steven Universe ending isn’t as realistic! Not everyone is going to change, not everyone is going to be able to be reasoned with. Not every older, conservative family member is eventually going to accept you for who you are. And while that is true, ultimately SU isn’t meant to be realistic; it’s meant to be a power fantasy. Rebecca Sugar has come out and said before that they wrote a world in which there was good in everyone, because that’s the way she wishes the world could be. That’s the world they want to be able to believe in. And I am never going to begrudge a person, much less a queer person, for finding healing in writing that kind of world.
But you know what else is unrealistic? What else is ultimately just a fantasy? Grinding your government’s fascist leader into paste under your boot, then taking over and remaking society into something that accepts everyone. Sadly, Trump is not likely to get his ass beat any time soon. And more generally, punching fascists, while ideologically sound, is something most people are not going to get to do, due to real-world consequences such as “getting beat up by the fascist’s angry friends” and “being arrested for assault”. And even if you did depose one leader, our very society is set up in a way that perpetuates all manner of injustices, and systemic change is a complex and lengthy process that almost certainly won’t be completed in our lifetimes. But it’s fun to imagine we could, isn’t it?
Both endings are power fantasies. Both show the way they want the world to be, rather than the way it is. They are very different power fantasies, which fill very different--and at times conflicting--needs. And in situations like that, internet culture really likes to pick one to be the right fantasy, the right way to look at the world. 
But the truth is, both fantasies are needed! Some people need stories about your queerphobic relatives finally realizing the error of their ways and taking the necessary steps to accept and reconcile with you. And some people need stories where you get to grind fascist bastards beneath the heel of your boot. It’s okay if you prefer one type of fantasy over the other! But in the end, both are valuable, and both are important. 
And isn’t it wonderful, for us to have such a diversity of great queer stories? That we can explore both of these deep, conflicting needs? Let’s appreciate each of these fantastic works for what it was meant to be, rather than trying to pit them against each other or make them conform to a single, “best” way to tell a story.
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evilwizard · 10 months
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what's the difference between witches, wizards, and warlocks? i've tried looking it up, but all it only says that wizards and warlocks are male witches, which i disagree with, as i believe the magic style, vibe, and aesthetics are different, and i'm curious what your opinion is?
The real answer is that all of these words are basically synonyms, with different connotations due to various root words with various historical contexts. (“Warlock” for example being rooted in a late Middle Ages Scots term for magical practitioners suspected to be in league with the devil—from Old English wær, literally “covenant,” and leoga, literally “liar.” Essentially, those who broke their “covenant” with God and dealt in dark magic.)
But words change context based on our understanding of them, which is why in modern times you may have heard that warlocks are those who gain their power from a contract with some ethereal arcane force—a version popularized by D&D. In truth, the connotative differences between these words in most people’s minds are so slight, and they’ve been used interchangeably so much, that you can pretty much just reinvent their meaning for any given piece of fiction you use them in.
There has been a recent effort to needlessly gender these words, to be sure. We can thank J. K. Rowling for that. It’s remarkably unfortunate that such an uncreative—and, to be frank—noxious person occupies such a place of power in modern fantasy.
My personal headcanon for these words is this: witches tend to work magic with the natural order, wizards work against it, and warlocks are magical practitioners that deal with arcane contracts. (I actually rather like the D&D version, especially how it relates to the word’s etymology.)
Of course, you can use these terms however you like—which is a great thing, because fantasy is a genre with limitless potential!
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iguessitsjustme · 6 months
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I can’t stop thinking about that scene in the library where Day drops the CDs and Mhok just watches him because it perfectly encapsulates why Day chooses Mhok out of everyone else to be his caretaker.
It’s not about the fact that Mhok treats him normally because everyone’s normal is different. For me, if I see someone drop something and struggle to pick it up, I jump in and help regardless of the reason it was dropped. Because that’s the kind of person I am. That’s normal for me, but it’s not normal for Mhok.
The reason Mhok is chosen is because he treats Day as capable. He knows Day can walk to him to get his library card. He knows Day can pick up the CDs. He doesn’t ignore Day’s disability but he doesn’t treat him like he’s limited by it (at least at first I’m sure this will change as he takes care of Day).
When Mhok crashed showed up for the initial interview, Day made a snarky comment about the reason they were hiring someone was because he can’t even manage to eat on his own without injuring himself. Day is tired and he’s angry and he used to be an athlete and now he can’t even feed himself without his mother worrying.
Day is angry about his situation but behind that and buried very deep is fear that this is his life forever. That he will never see again and he will need to rely on people for the rest of his life. Then Mhok comes along and he’s also angry. Mhok’s pain and grief isn’t something that can ever be cured but it can be healed. And their anger speaks to each other. Mhok sees the anger and fear and pain in Day and understands and sees his own anger and pain reflected back.
Also no one treats Mhok like he’s capable despite his skill set because of his past. He was in jail? Oh well I guess suddenly he doesn’t know how to be a mechanic anymore. Mhok and Day need each other because they treat each other as more than what society sees them as and they treat each other like they’re capable of more than the shit hands they’ve been dealt.
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sprucewoodmpreg · 2 years
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hi vaguely serious messy post about hermitblr and new members and just. letting everyone know that we’ve had history with cc interaction on here before that i think would be useful for people to learn about
Trafficblr/Hermitblr has seen a lot of growth lately, largely in part from people migrating over here from the DSMP side of MCYTblr. This in of itself is completely fine! New people jumping onto the bus with us are always welcome, and the growth of the community as a whole is really nice to see.
However, I have noticed a lot of these newer blogs sharing the same very specific behaviours, and if possible, I’d like to just make a few things about the community and our history clear. Because this isn’t DSMP, and the CCs here handle content creation and their own fanbases very differently to them.
While I’m not going to go in-depth on 2019 since I don’t have nearly as much information about it as other people do, I would like to say that back then, Hermitblr was kind of an active war zone. It was comparable to how Hermittwt is now, with infighting about shipping and similar topics being the norm (however in Hermitblr’s case many of these argument were far more personal due to the smaller fandom size). What I want to point out specifically however, is when one of the CCs, Cleo, was thrown into the community infighting. I don’t remember the specifics of it, but she was sent an ask asking about shipping, and her opinions on it, and eventually dealt with so much backlash that she was forced to leave the site entirely (this post here has a slightly more comprehensive summary, if need be).
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I’m just a little concerned, because there seems to have been a slight increase in that demographic of people recently. Specifically, members of the community who want to rely on CCs to dictate what happens in fan spaces; for them to give us bullet point lists of what their exact boundaries are for every single situation.
This rarely ends well. As in, it almost always just causes infighting and hostility. There will always be people making content that will “break boundaries”, regardless of any creator’s wishes. However, this is usually mitigated by the fact that many of these CCs aren’t on Tumblr (at least not anymore....mostly). The problem arises when members of the community attempt to act as Heroes Of Justice, and go out of their way to send asks to other blogs, informing them exactly of how they’ve broken the boundaries of some 40 year old adult. This is all despite the fact that said adult will....never see whatever post went against their wishes. It just encourages policing and this weird superiority....thing, where despite the lack of content creators, people are still fighting to make sure that the site is clean from any possibly upsetting posts.
I say this all while also acknowledging that many of the creators in this sphere also don’t have a very comprehensive understanding of how fandom interacts with their “characters”. To them, “shipping” has always been RPF, and there are so many other aspects of the community that simply can’t be explained easily, as they haven’t been immersed in this culture like we have. This is to say that asking for “boundaries” is likely to get you a very confused and unhelpful answer, as the Hermits have always had a very different way of interacting and viewing their fanbase than the DSMP creators do. There is no “c!” or “cc!” to them, to put it simply.
Essentially, the Hermits are adults. They’ve been doing content creation for years, and I can guarantee you they’ve seen worse things in their lives than art of their Minecraft character kissing another Minecraft character. They’ve dealt with this shit before, and if they wanted it to stop, they’re free to make a post about it whenever want. And yet, they haven’t. They leave fandom up to us. Boundaries and rules and infighting and just...all of that? Let’s leave it to the Twitter users, please. Post what you want, make sure to tag your posts correctly, and we’ll all be fine. 
Also, while I’m going to try not to rehash any discourse about inviting CCs to Tumblr, I also do just want to implore you guys to consider that the environment on Hermittwt is partially the way it is because of the active presence of the Hermits there, with people flocking for attention or a single notice, and obsessively checking posts to make sure they’re not potentially “boundary-breaking” and such. Please just consider that many people are here to avoid the dynamics of that site. Tumblr is a site for fans, not for the CCs. So we create content here for ourselves, and not for them. Having creators join almost always leads to the culture of their fanbase on here changing, with content posted in the maintags being catered more towards them rather than the fanbase. (This isn’t to say that they can’t join!! But at least keeping in mind why many of us are here in the first place and weighing that against potential CC interactions would mean a lot).
I fear that my point may have been lost a little bit, but I hope my explanation at least brings a little bit of light to why many members of the community here are wary of Creators coming over to the site, and also of how many newer blogs tend to treat the CCs. Hermitblr has had some really bad history in the past when it comes to this stuff, and seeing newer fans bring over similar ideas from DSMPblr just worries me a little bit.
TL:DR - Just...please treat the Hermits like the adults they are, and keep in mind they have a very different dynamic with their fanbases to the DSMP creators. Asking for “boundaries” and granting CCs control of the fanbase will likely lead you nowhere; attempting to police fanspaces here just brings up bad memories of times when Hermitblr was a much more miserable place to be in. Plus, if you want CC interactions, please just go to twitter. Nobody here wants to deal with an attempted “cleanse” of the site to make it more palatable to CCs.
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Bittersweet 1
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc. 
Part of the Sweet and Spicy AU 
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk. 
18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you. 
Summary: Your startup business catches the eye of a powerful rival.
Character: Loki Laufeyson
Please comment and reblog if it’s not too much. I always love getting to chat about these stories and hearing all your ideas! You all are wonderful and loved. 
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“So, the Green Bundle includes a Match truffle, chocolate mint smoothies, and green tea infused fudge,” you explain to the trio of women across from you. “The deluxe includes peppermint cocoa as well and comes in a this mug.” 
You present one of the few kits you have left in your inventory. As big a deal as getting a stall at the event was, you hadn’t expected the crowd. You’re overwhelmed, especially realising you’re the only stand with only a single body. 
“That’s so cute,” the taller brunette remarks, “what about the Pink kit? It says strawberry and creme?” 
“Ah, yes, that one sold out rather quickly today. I can offer a voucher for my online boutique or I can sell you a sampler box? It has the strawberry and creme as well as my more popular flavours.” 
“Do you do this all yourself?” The curly blonde asks as she eyes the chocolate dipped cherries. 
Another body crowds in, a tall men bending to peruse your hand-painted sign listing all your bundles and boxes. He pays you little mind as he eyes cling to the letters and he reaches to pluck up one of your cards. You return your attention to the blonde. 
“Yes, they’re all hand-crafted. The mugs as well but I don’t do those. I’ve a friend who makes those.” 
“The packaging is so pretty,” the first preens, “can I have a sampler then?” 
“Sure,” you answer, “I do the packaging as well. All the stickers, the bows I tie myself, and I decorate each box.” 
“Wow, that’s so cool,” the middle on remarks, “I’ll have a sampler as well and the green bundle.” 
“Sampler for me,” the third agrees. 
You go through the same process with each. You grab the product, put it in a bag, seal it with a sticker, and ring them through with a tap of their card. They all seem excited for their purchase and it’s contagious. It’s been a hectic day but you’re running low and you don’t think you’ll make it through to closing. Still, it’s good advertising. 
“Green tea fudge?” The tall man slithers towards the center of your counter, “an unusual combination.” 
“Yes, that one took a lot of experimenting.” 
“Mmm,” he still has your card in hand, bending it slightly as he flicks it with his thumb, “the red bundle. Cherry, red velvet, and...” he leans back to check the sign, “cayenne. Interesting.” 
“I try to make sure there’s variety in each,” you explain. 
“Yes, so it seems. I’ll take a red then.” 
“Sorry, sir, um, I’ve sold out of most. I still have the yellow, the black, and the green--” 
“Sold out?” He raises his wrist to give an emphatic glance at his watch, “either you’re very popular or ill-prepared.” 
You’re surprised by the accusation. He’s rather blunt. You’ve dealt with many different types today but they’ve all been relatively pleasant, after all, it’s hard to be in a bad mood at a Baking Show. 
“Fair, I wasn’t expecting so many buyers, sir. But you have my card, you’ll see my online boutique is listed--” 
“But I want to buy now,” he says as he tilts his head, dark brows rising just slightly. 
“I understand, I apologise for the inconvenience, but I just don’t have the red on-hand. I do have a sampler here--” You grab one of the variety boxes, “it would have the cayenne and the cherry.” 
“Do you think a one-person operation like this is sustainable?” He inquires sharply. 
You wince and shake your head, “sir? I’ve only just started. I’m sure with growth I’ll have to adjust.” 
“And do you have a business plan or is this some Etsy venture with no goals?” 
You nearly choke. You don’t know what you’ve done to offend him. 
“Well, sir, if you don’t want to buy, I do have free samples available. I don’t have any of the red flavours but I do have some banana peanut butter and salted caramel apple--” 
“I didn’t ask about samples,” he insists, “I’m asking about your business plan.” 
You bat your lashes and look around. Has he come to this event just to interrogate people over their bottom line? 
“I suppose it’s something I will have to review after today,” you contend. 
“I’d say,” he tucks your card into his jacket pocket, his hand lingering within as he pulls out a leather wallet, “if you have any questions...” 
He slides a card free and offers it. You take it hesitantly and read the gold font on matte black cardstock. Black Snake Chocolatier. You run your fingers over the embossed lettering and narrow your eyes. You peer over at the large banner over that business’ booth. He must be from over there but he’s not exactly dressed for the work. His suit is pressed and stainless. 
“I did sponsor that one,” he pulls your attention back, “but I’ve come down to take measure of my competition and possible... acquisitions.” 
You nod slowly as you meet his green eyes. Is this intimidation? 
“Loki Laufeyson,” he offers his hand as a glint of silver in his hair catches the light, “might I have your name?” 
You trade your name and a handshake. He squeezes enough for you to wince. He lets go and you slip his card in you apron pocket with all the others collected from your fellow vendors. 
“I’ll certainly take a sampler,” he says, “see if this little venture has any teeth.” 
His every word is like a bite. He speaks with the fangs of the very logo of his business. You put his purchase into your phone and offer the square for him to tap his payment. He processes it and swipes up the box before you can package it. 
“Do you want a bag?” You ask. 
“I can handle it,” he tucks the box under his arm. “Best of luck to you doing the same.” 
He glances around and slowly moves aside as a group of new customers set in. A family of five with three hollering children with grabby hands. Your eyes widen as you smile at them as best you can. This day has truly tested your social battery. 
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desideriumwriter · 8 months
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hi! i'd like to ask a one shot on fred weasley where the reader is a pureblood slytherin (introverted, stubborn, etc) and they're in a secret relationship. one day their differences lead them to having a huge argument where their pride gets the best of them and they insult each other (about their hogwarts houses stereotypes, their families, blood status) saying the worst things.
thank you <33
this is my first request ever and i’m so excited! im not rlly sure how i feel abt it but i do hope this fits what you wanted! (900 words)
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“I’m tired of us being a secret. I’m tired of being a secret.” Fred said as he closed the door behind him, locking you both in the potions classroom that was now abandoned and empty.
“What?” You scoffed.
“I can’t keep doing this. Hiding our relationship from everyone. Why can’t we just tell them?” He sighed.
“My family, they wouldn’t approve of it, you know that.” Your voice was small.
Your family’s views were strict and old fashioned. They were against wizards or witches and muggles being together, especially getting married and having children. They called anyone They saw and they’ve pushed those views on you ever since you were small.
It hurts to say but if they found out you were in a relationship with the type of person they weren’t fond of, someone like Fred Weasley. You’d be shamed and disowned in less than a minute.
“I don’t care what your family thinks! Why do you care so much about what they think?” Fred groaned. “We don’t have to tell them directly, we can tell other people, let your parents figure it out on their own. They can deal with it.”
“Fred. Our families are-”
“My family has said nothing but good things about you! Hell, George cares about you as much as I do! Yours can’t even return the favor.”
“What? You told your family about me?” Your face slightly dropped.
“Only George…” He trailed off.
“That wasn’t part of the deal.” You spat, the awkward look on Fred's face was wiped off and replaced with anger.
“Deal? What bloody deal? You’re making it sound like this is some bet you took.” He scoffed.
“No! You know what I mean, we promised not to tell anybody.”
“That’s what I’m tired of! How many more times do I have to say it?”
“Fred..don’t you know what they’ll say about me?”
“You won’t be the only one getting talked about. This isn’t just about you!” Fred rubbed his face with his hands. “I should’ve listened to George. He was right.” He mumbled to himself. Your face slowly dropped.
“What?” You spoke quietly, all the volume in your voice had been washed away.
“When I first told George about you, he seemed offended that I could be in love with someone like you.” He spat.
“Someone like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You were taken aback by his sudden change of tone.
“A slytherin. He didn’t think someone as bitter and stubborn and vile as you could love me.” His words stung like acid.
“And you’re not? Don’t you see how reckless and narrow-minded you can be with the things you do?”
The next few minutes were just the both of you taking stabs at each other. Insulting anything you could find one another. You both began to sound like broken records, repeating the same cruel things at each other.
“I’m choosing my own path in life, I’m not letting myself get pushed into something I don’t want to do.” At this point he was just spewing things out, biting back at you, you decided to do the same.
“You mean that little shop you want to open? With all your stupid trick candies? Have you even thought about how you’re going to get it, if you’ll even be allowed to sell things like that?”
“Well, it’s better than being like you and following in the footsteps of your mother.” He shook his head. You scoffed in disbelief.
“Don’t you dare compare me to her. You don’t know how hard it’s been for me. You don’t know what I’ve dealt with.”
“Oh of course, it must be so hard living in that giant mansion, getting everything you want handed on a silver plate.” He fake pouted and mocked a sad voice.
“I’ve worked for everything I have and I'm grateful for it. Have you ever?” He pointed a threatening finger at you.
“Working for it? By stealing and lying? At least I tell the truth.” You shot back.
“Then tell me why you refuse to let us be together in public.” Fred blurted out, you went silent.
“I’ve told you a million times, it’s my family-“
“No it isn’t! It isn’t about them anymore!” He shouted. “Are you embarrassed of me? You can’t be seen with a Weasley?”
“No! It’s not about you, it has nothing to do with you.” Your voice crackled, Fred only stepped back and sighed.
“I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this, Y/N.” He ran his hands through his hair.
“I love you.” You blurted out, eyes beginning to water, tears filling them up. Fred was already crying, his teardrops hitting his robes and the floor.
“If you truly do, then you don’t in a way that I can understand.” He sniffled and began to turn away, heading for the door.
“Please don’t go. We can fix this, alright?” You cried as you clinged onto his wrist.
“Either you can stop being afraid and walk out there with your hand in mine,” Fred’s voice was stern as he began to give you his ultimatum. “Or I can leave, alone. And we’ll choose to believe nothing has ever happened between us.”
He stood there quietly while you searched to find the words, hot tears began to stream down your face. Freds eyes were only red and puffy now, his cheeks tearstained.
“I don’t…I don’t know. I can’t.” Your voice crackled as you shook your head weakly, giving an answer that you weren’t even sure of. He nodded weakly and tucked in his lips.
“Alright.” His voice was small. Defeated. Fred looked down for a moment, then brought his head back up and sniffled.
Fred gave you a pained smile. Then left, he didn’t even dare to look at you one last time. Shutting the door quietly.
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headkiss · 1 year
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Peter dealing with a reader who has a bad migraine and having to ask the others how to help because they’ve dealt with it before ☹️ scared of hurting her more but also scared of not being caring enough
hiii tysm for requesting!!! it’s a teeny bit different but i hope u like it all the same <33 | 0.7k of fluff
You and Peter have this unspoken agreement anytime there’s a need for partners in class. Your eyes searching for his, his already on you when you find them.
Then, you’ll go to one of your houses and start as soon as possible. It’s easy to work with him. He’s smart (like, insanely smart), kind, and you’d like to think you’re friends. It’s difficult not to get distracted by him. His soft eyes, messy hair, shy smile.
Even so, you’d rather be partners with him than anyone else.
You’re sitting at the small, round kitchen table in your apartment with him, textbooks spread out, pencils scratching against your notebooks. It’s a comfortable silence, a practiced routine that makes you not mind homework so much.
When you peek up at him, he’s bent close to his page, hair falling over his forehead. You hold your pencil tighter to stop yourself from reaching out and touching him. You look back down quickly.
As time goes on, it’s not him that distracts you so much today. Instead, it’s a pressure in your head, a pounding that’s getting louder and louder and harder to ignore. Having to look so closely at words on paper isn’t helping, and it isn’t long before you drop the pencil onto the table and rest your forehead on the cool wood of the table.
Peter notices something’s wrong. He’s always been good at that, now more than ever.
“You okay, bug?” He asks, and you think his voice is the only one you’d tolerate right now.
“Headache,” you mumble.
“You get them a lot?” Peter abandons his work, too, and leans over to brush his hand over your arm.
“Yeah, sometimes. Just give me a minute, and we can keep going.”
He shakes his head, “we’ll do it another day. What can I do to help?”
“There’s some meds in the bathroom. Behind the mirror. The blue label.”
Just like that, the warmth of his hand, of his presence, leaves you. It makes the pain a little worse, him being gone, like his touch was enough to help.
Peter worries easily, and when it comes to you, it’s only worse. He looks through the cabinet and finds what he thinks you wanted him to grab, but he feels like he should be helping more, he wants to help more.
He pulls his phone from his pocket and dials Aunt May’s number.
“Peter, is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. Just, um, what do you do when someone has a migraine?”
“Is your head hurting? You can come home and-”
“No,” he stops her. “Not mine.”
She knows he’s with you, and though he’s never told her outright, May also knows that he likes you. A lot.It’s pretty obvious with how often he talks about you, with how his face sort of lights up when he does.
“Ohhh,” she hums in understanding. He can’t see it, but she’s smiling on her side of the phone. “I see. Turning off the lights helps, and a cool towel on the face or neck.”
“Thanks, May.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
He hangs up and hopes he didn’t keep you waiting for long. It’s just, he’s afraid that he might hurt you, that he might make things worse and that’s the last thing he’d want. So, he had to make sure he knew how to help.
You’re sitting in the same chair, but your head’s no longer resting on the table. You’re sitting up with your eyes squinted, trying to block out the light a little.
“Here, bug,” Peter says quietly, handing you the small bottle.
“Thank you, Peter. You don’t have to stay, by the way.”
“I’d like to stay. If that’s alright?”
It’s embarrassing to be seen all weak, but Peter is nothing but gentle with you. He keeps his voice quiet like he doesn’t want to irritate you. You decide you’d rather spend more time with him than not.
“Yeah, that’s okay.”
You’ve ended up on the couch, the lights off and the apartment silent besides the sounds of Peter moving about.
He comes back with a small towel in hand, sitting next to you and guiding your head onto his shoulder. Slowly, he lifts his arm to press the towel against your forehead, and he keeps it there for you.
“This okay?” He asks.
“Yeah. Feels nice.”
It could be the towel, or the meds, or it could just be him, but you feel better and better by the minute.
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itsabouttimex2 · 26 days
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A Brand New Journey:
Part One
(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three)
You’re a good influence, Pigsy eventually comes to think. You come by the restaurant once, occasionally twice a week to study, enjoying both the food and atmosphere. He sees you poring over old books with a quiet fervor, eyes sharply focused on whatever passage you happen to be reading at the moment. It’s only when you bring in a leather-bound copy of Journey to the West that his employee/ward takes notice of you, though.
And MK can’t keep himself from peering over your shoulder as you jot down notes on all of the different demons and foes that Sun Wukong faced throughout the long and arduous journey he went on, and how he dealt with all of them.
“…he tricked those three immortals into doing what?”
You jump nearly out of your skin, dropping your pencil and bumping the table hard enough that noodle broth sloshes out of your bowl, only missing your book because MK snatches it off the table with surprising speed. He looks between you, the book, the broth that’s spilling from the table counter onto the floor, and then back to you. He starts to apologize, only to be cut off by a very irate voice.
“MK! Stop screwing around, and grab a mop already!”
In a fit of panic, he throws the book at you, hitting you square in the stomach and knocking the air out of your lungs. You lurch forward far enough that your face dips into the bowl of jajangmyeon, drenching you in noodles, pork, vegetables and chunjang.
Slowly, you pry your face free from the porcelain bowl, barely able to blink through the hearty meal that coats your face.
And when MK comes dashing back, it’s with a mop and bucket of water in his hands. With the way things have been going so far, you half expect him to slip on the noodle broth and soak you with the contents of the bucket.
He doesn’t, thankfully.
Instead, he drops the bucket onto the floor before jamming the mop in it, causing the contents to slosh messily onto the floor. Then, he outright smothers your broth-drenched face with the mop, slathering your skin with sudsy water.
———————————————————————
To Pigsy’s surprise, you actually do come back after that incident, just a week later. An incident that would’ve cost him any other customer besides Tang seems to have been a minor inconvenience to you.
“The food and service is too good to stay away,” you politely compliment, paying him the way you always do, exact change placed directly into the palm of his hand. “Thank you for the wonderful service.”
You’re all stiff and stilted today, much to his concern. It’s not really like you, is it?
At least, he thinks so. Really, he and MK barely know anything about you in spite of dozens of encounters with you- you’re a welcome presence, their most frequent customer bar the scholar that’s always getting on Pigsy’s nerves.
But they’ve never really spoken to you aside from mild greetings and casual conversation.
This time, you accidentally give them a chance to learn.
In leaving so quickly, you’ve forgotten the book you brought- your copy of Journey to the West.
You’re gone before either of them can call you back for it, so MK takes it to his room for safekeeping- but pauses to take a look at your unusual bookmark.
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captain-hen · 1 month
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the ‘sunshine personified’ / ‘he makes everyone around him happy’ thing is sooo interesting because i don’t think we’ve really seen that from buck, have we? and by that i specifically mean in the fanon context of buck being the social PTA dad at all of chris’s school functions while eddie broods in the corner and only wants to talk to buck. if anything, we’ve seen the opposite behavior with eddie — he’s clearly good friends with chris’s friends’ parents, he was so happy and glowy when he first met the 118, he befriended may and linda so easily at dispatch, and i could go on and on.
he just seems to connect with people so easily, and i think a lot of that genuine friendliness is lost on people because he also has a tendency to get casually snarky with people he isn’t so fond of, whether it’s annoying temporary coworkers or selfish people on calls or opportunistic reporters. the same thing goes for his private nature vs. buck’s bleeding heart — it’s assumed that eddie isn’t a people person because he likes to keep his innermost feelings close to his chest and it’s also assumed that buck is good at instantly forming connections bc his feelings spill out of him at all times.
and like. it’s not that buck isn’t a kind and friendly person, but i do feel like his specialty is deep acts of love for the people he loves. idk if i’m articulating this right but i’m trying to point out that he’s never more ‘sunshine personified’ than when he’s with the 118 and co. he would do anything for them and he lights up around them in a way that he doesn’t really do with anyone else. and we haven’t seen him be so casually close to people outside that friend group.
when we got a glimpse of connor and buck’s friendship, it seemed more about what they could do for each other than about true connection. when we got that episode about buck and red, a lot of it was projection on buck’s part re. his fear of abandonment and his desire not to let his future turn out like red’s and it was also about his need to fix things for everyone else so he can feel like he’s needed. when he met lucy, he was desperate to fill a void and not feel as hollow as he felt going home to taylor kelly every night with his sister and his brother in law and his partner gone.
don’t get me wrong, i’m not trying to ascribe selfish motivations to buck bc i do believe he always tries to do the right thing, but when it comes to people outside of the 118, with the way it’s been written in canon, i feel like those dynamics have always been more about his own issues than they’ve been about actual friendship. and this isn’t even getting into how he acts when he feels like someone new is encroaching on his territory (see: eddie in 2x01 and lena). idk….i just think that kind of casual connection comes so much easier to eddie for whatever reason. maybe it’s because his abandonment issues are a whole other flavor, or because eddie’s upbringing was so different from buck’s. either way, it’s so interesting and ppl blinded by fanon are really missing out. i apologize for the long ass rambling and i don’t think i really articulated this well, so TL;DR — fanon sunshine buck and broody eddie do not exist in canon and i’m Very excited to see the way that mr. possessive, jealous, broody evan buckley acts when eddie meets someone new this week :)
no, you're so right about all of this, though! buck genuinely does light up and is at his most comfortable and golden retriever-like around the 118, because he sees them as family and trusts them so much—and i think people get carried away and attribute the same thing to everything else (like, for example, the social PTA dad thing). when in canon, buck on multiple occasions has not dealt with new people too well—whether it was eddie, or lena, or ravi...and now, as it looks like, tommy. and you kinda hit the nail on the head about how most of buck's relationships outside the 118 being very transactional in nature up to this point, it's sad, but it's true.
eddie is the complete opposite in this regard, though, like, the guy goes around collecting new friends like they're pokemon. lol. he is so wildly different to the fandom portrayal of him as this anti-social loner that i struggle with understanding how people even got there in the first place (i mean, i know why. but still).
anyway, buck's issues with jealousy and insecurity are sooo interesting to delve into as character flaws and so much more compelling than fandom's portrayal of him as a perfect angel baby who's never done anything wrong, but 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ at least i have canon giving me the stuff i want lol
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ironspiderfics · 9 months
Text
someone else living in his skin
by @iron--spider for @shoyzz-art
~
Peter slides up alongside Rhodey, and Rhodey startles.
There’s a cacophony of twinkling glasses and chairs being pulled out and whatever weird jazz music playlist Tony’s got playing, and all of it seems loud, in Peter’s ears. Shaking his nerves. 
“Jesus Christ,” Rhodey says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “What are you doing? I thought you were putting out table numbers—”
“Do you think he’s acting shifty?” Peter asks, calmly as he can.
He’s calm. Why wouldn’t he be calm?
His eyes are locked on Tony. 
They’re in the middle of setting up this mini gala event, the opening for Stark’s new research facility in the Lower East Side. It’s gonna create hundreds of jobs and scholarships and internships and it’s gonna be a really good thing, partnering with the museums and businesses in the area. Peter’s actually really excited because he’s got the title of ‘Lead Researcher’ for the intern pool, whatever that winds up meaning from day to day, and he thought Tony would be really excited too. He loves celebrations, he loves new opportunities and helping people, but—
But for the last two days he’s been…different.
He’s been…off.
But Peter’s calm. He’s calm about it. There’s no reason why he shouldn’t be calm.
His eye is just twitching a little bit.
Rhodey looks at Tony, and then he looks at Peter, and then he looks at Tony again. He narrows his eyes, like he’s trying to assess the situation. 
“He’s just—I don’t know,” Peter says, blowing out a breath. He wrings his hands together and cracks his jaw. 
“Is this a spidey sense thing?” Rhodey asks, crossing his arms over his chest. 
Peter shrugs, still watching him. Tony is sort of looming around—straightening a table cloth here, pushing in a chair there, glancing over his shoulder like he thinks someone is watching him. He’s sweating more than normal. 
“A little bit of that, a little bit of—just—he’s acting weird,” Peter says. “Not acting like himself, I guess ever since the other night when that guy tried to break in—”
“But we dealt with that,” Rhodey says, looking at him. “It was in and out—cops came, got the guy—”
“Right, I know, but it’s been since then he’s just been like—I don’t know,” Peter says, blowing out a breath. “Like he—the other night, he forgot that I already graduated, he was asking me when I was gonna graduate—”
“We all forget that,” Rhodey says, raising his eyebrow at him. “You’re perpetually twelve—”
“You didn’t even know me when I was twelve—”
“You’re twelve now—”
Peter sighs. “Well, he normally remembers, and he was the one at my graduation screaming and yelling and making a big scene so, that’s not really—easily forgotten, and he was being weird about Spider-Man the other day—”
“Weird how?” Rhodey asks, turning towards him completely, now. “Because he’s always weird about Spider-Man. Every other day he’s messaging me like how do we convince Peter to retire?”
Peter clicks his tongue. “Asking me things he knows. Like how I make my webs and which suit is my favorite and—I don’t know, stuff like that. Weird stuff.”
“You’ve been staying at the compound since that guy tried to break in?”
“Yeah,” Peter says. “Me and May both, the apartment has that infestation, everybody’s out for at least a week.” 
He clears his throat. The guy trying to break in was weird—he seemed normal, no powers, no real intentions, he got pretty far but was taken down fast, and he didn’t seem at all—fazed, by any of it. He was even polite. 
Maybe it got under Tony’s skin? A lot of stuff like that does. They’ve been through enough, with the dying, coming back again two years later, him nearly dying trying to fix it all—a petty thief trying to get into an Avengers compound is just the kind of irritation that might set him off. Last straw kinda deal.
Rhodey stares over at Tony again, and Peter looks too. Tony is being twitchy. He’s talking to waiters and he’s got his hands behind his back and his fingers are twitching. 
“Has Pepper said anything to you?” Rhodey asks.
“Has Pepper said anything to you?” Peter asks, raising his eyebrows. “Because she’s more likely—I mean, with me, we talk about MIT, when I start, how my summer’s going, we talk about, um, TikTok recipes, we talk about MJ, and Tony in the capacity of like, Iron Man, and Spider-Man, or his birthday, or Christmas, but not like—I’m just saying, she’s more likely to—have said something to you, or Happy, than me.”
“No, she hasn’t, but now that you mention—and he is acting weird right now—and yesterday he did get off the phone fast, different from how he normally…” Rhodey trails off, shaking his head. 
“Maybe he’s sick?” Peter asks, worrying a little bit more now. He thought maybe he was overreacting, he thought Rhodey would brush him off and he’d feel better and then Tony would magically start acting normal again after the conversation. “Nervous? He doesn’t usually—”
“No,” Rhodey says, shaking his head. “Not nervous, these things are—easy, like the back of his hand—sick, maybe, but I thought he was well beyond hiding sick from us, so I hope not—” He looks resolute, all of a sudden, and he claps Peter on the shoulder. “I’m gonna go talk to him. We’ve got an hour or so still, of set-up, so let’s just—just keep on putting out the numbers, doing everything on your list—”
“Okay,” Peter says, nodding, and Rhodey pats him on the shoulder again, moving past him. Peter watches, nonchalantly, as Rhodey walks up to Tony, taking his arm and sort of moving him across the room.
And it’s probably fine. 
Rhodey’s gonna talk to him, figure it out, and it’s gonna be okay. 
Peter keeps repeating that to himself, as he does his little jobs, and he marks them off his list in his notepad—table numbers, check, badges at the door, check, banners, check, taste test the hors d'oeuvres, mostly check, and he totally had that spelled wrong in his notes and it’s fine—
And when people start to arrive, he realizes that he hasn’t seen Tony or Rhodey since—Rhodey left to go talk to him.
And he gets a little nervous and he looks around, trying to scan the room—not completely full yet, and nothing’s started, but Pepper is here and he sees Happy—
—and May makes him jump when she shows up behind him.
“What’s wrong, honey?” she says, giving him that look, that look that’s gotten sharper and even more severe with every one of his near death experiences. 
So he decides not to tell her what’s going on in his head. Which is usually the opposite of what she wants, but this probably isn’t anything, so. “Nothing,” he says, clearing his throat, still trying to scan around. But Tony and Rhodey aren’t here, not anywhere he can see.
“That’s not your nothing face,” she says, rubbing his arm. “Do you have a job you’re supposed to be doing? Is your brain tingling?”
He narrows his eyes at her. “No, it’s—no, it’s not—I gotta, uh, one second—can you make sure you get me one of those little wonton things? Or like three of them? I keep seeing them on the trays and I haven’t gotten to try one yet—”
“You’re concerned about that?” she asks, her eyes still worried and distrustful.
“Yes,” he says, grinning at her quickly before he starts to go looking. 
Part of him feels like he should say something to Pepper, but he doesn’t want to stress her out—and like, it’s probably nothing, everything is probably fine, and he makes a beeline for the door that leads to the little backstage area. 
“Tony?” he says, and the crowd noise goes muffled when he lets the door swing closed behind him. It’s so quiet back here—he doesn’t even see any of the employees or the guys that do the lights or any of Tony’s security—there wasn’t even anybody at the door when he scanned in.
He hears what sounds like something—brushing against the ground—
“Tony?” Peter asks again, glancing around. “Rhodey? Are you guys, uh—I feel like we’re getting ready to—”
Peter turns another corner and stops dead.
Rhodey is on the ground, knocked out, and Tony is dragging him by the arms. He looks up, and sees Peter there, and the look on his face—he doesn’t—Peter’s brain is going a mile a minute and he’s already surging forward to help but the look on Tony’s face—it registers somewhere in the back of Peter’s mind…
“Oh my God, what—what happened?” Peter asks, rushing over and kneeling down next to Rhodey. “What happened, what did—”
“Uh, he fell,” Tony says, and he kneels down next to him. He nods, and widens his eyes and shakes his head, and he doesn’t seem nearly as concerned as he usually would be. Tony normally loses his mind when Rhodey so much as gets a paper cut, so this is…this is…
“How?” Peter asks, looking at Tony and back at Rhodey again. “He was just—”
“I don’t think he ate enough,” Tony says.
Every alarm bell is going off in Peter’s head. They’ve been going off tonight, and for a couple days, honestly, if he really thinks about it, but it’s loud now. He feels like time is slowing down, like his vision is getting narrow, like all of his senses are on high and zeroing in.
And it feels wrong. The shift in the air and his own suspicion, it feels wrong. What would be wrong with Tony?
But that’s where this is going.
It’s focusing on him.
Peter looks at Rhodey, and there’s a bruise on his cheek—
And Tony is clenching and unclenching his fist—
“Tony?” Peter asks, slowly, glancing up at him. His brain isn’t working. It isn’t working and it’s working too fast and he feels like he’s trudging through sludge. Every move is the wrong move.
And Peter looks at him in a certain way. With suspicion. And he hates it, and he feels sick, but he can’t shake it—
And Tony doesn’t answer him. He just looks at him, and the light that’s usually behind his eyes is gone, and his expression is one Peter doesn’t recognize. 
Like someone else is living in his skin.
And just as that thought takes hold and sends chills down Peter’s spine, setting off a whole new line of panicked questions in his head, Tony clicks his tongue. And he sighs.
“Shit,” he breathes. And it’s his voice, of course it’s his voice, but it sounds twisted, and different, and before Peter can even react, before he can pounce on the alarm bells and the way his senses are narrowing and signaling, Tony surges forward with a stiff arm to Peter’s throat, and knocking him to the ground. 
Tony punches him, with his full strength behind it, and Peter is so shocked that he doesn’t even block, and he tastes blood immediately. He winces, gasping, and he blocks the next one, and then Tony is grabbing his forearms and tossing him across the room. 
Peter hits a thing of shelving, and a bunch of buckets fall down on top of him, and through the pandemonium, he sees Tony running away from him.
“What the fuck,” Peter breathes, and he scrambles to his feet—
And Tony would never hit him, ever, not ever, and Peter’s head pounds, with the force of the punches, with the alarms going off, with fear and worry, and is this a clone, is it mind control—either way he has to get him, there’s a reason, but what is it, what is it—
And if he’s a clone it’d be different, but if it’s mind control, Peter might be able to get through to him, he might be able to break it—
And Peter scrambles to his feet, wiping the blood from under his nose with the back of his hand, and he starts taking off in the same direction Tony did—
And he can’t even call his name before he’s taking the full force of a repulsor blast. 
He’s knocked backwards again, slamming into the wall, and he can feel it cave in against his back with the strength of the hit. He coughs, gasping, and his jacket is smoldering and his skin underneath it is too, and he sees Tony standing there with the repulsor aimed at him—he’s only wearing one, and Peter rolls out of the way, narrowly avoiding getting hit again and trying to catch his breath.
He’s not thinking, because nothing makes sense, and Peter just rushes at him and tackles him to the floor—
And Tony punches him again, with the iron hand this time, and Peter’s neck twists hard with the hit—his jaw cracks, blood in his teeth—
And everything in him is screaming to fight back, fight back, but it’s Tony, he—he can’t—he can’t hurt him he fucking can’t hurt him—
And he grimaces, metal in his mouth, and grabs both of Tony’s wrists, mid-flail, and pins him to the ground—
“Doesn’t fucking matter, it’s set,” Tony hisses, and he doesn’t even sound like himself, and the way his face is contorting, he doesn’t look like himself either. Peter’s heart is in his throat, and he dodges another repulsor blast that Tony manages to get off, and Peter covers the repulsor with his hand and twists Tony’s fist and focuses—
“What is? What is?” Peter knows it’s not him, not right now, not really, but he can’t help— “Tony, Tony, are you in there? Are you in there, can you hear—”
“It’ll still do damage where it is—they’d never scan Tony Stark himself at one of his own events,” Tony says, and he grins, manic. “Good way to get it done, huh? One big blast, kill him, ruin his reputation at the same time—”
And Peter’s mind drifts again, like a lifeboat at sea, and he remembers Tony saying earlier that he wouldn’t need his webshooters here, but he packed them anyway. He remembers him with a gym bag, a duffel, he remembers oh nothing, just a few extra lights, and May is here and Rhodey and Happy and people are starting to arrive and Tony himself—Tony himself, and he’s not a clone, he’s not, they’re—they’re trying to kill him, it’s—it’s mind control, it has to be, they used him to smuggle a device in, and they’re trying to kill him—
Peter’s mind drifts, and guides him, and every time it feels like a pull, like a bunch of arrows, but this is more powerful than he’s felt in a while—
And Tony knees him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him again—Tony grabs him by his shoulders and Peter wrenches away, and they both stumble to their feet again and for a minute they’re in a boxing match, except Peter keeps getting hit, because he’s pulling his punches, because it’s Tony, it’s Tony—
“Stop, stop, stop, you’re—”
Another blow across his cheek, breaking the skin, and he hears a high pitch in his ear, and Tony grabs him by the throat and shoves him against the wall—
And Peter gasps, and pushes him, hard, and Tony trips back and nearly falls and even the way he’s moving right now doesn’t seem like him—
And Peter rushes away and tries to run, his head drifting, pulling him, alert, alert—
Webshooters, backpack, the duffel—they were together, he left it—left it with their stuff, back here, when they—when they got here—
And there are arrows in his head and they’re pulsing and buzzing like neon signs, and he knows he’s going the right way—
But he’s being pulled back to the ground by his ankle, and his head cracks on the tile, and it’s stars and metal and arrows and buzz buzz, how much time is on the clock, we don’t know, we don’t even know it’s a bomb, we don’t even know if it’s counting down, but it sure as shit feels like it—
And he tries to scramble up again and his spidey sense can usually help him from all angles, but it feels off, here, and he knows it is when Tony hits him in the face again, when he grabs him and throws him—and punches him again, rattling his brain in his skull—
And it’s because it’s Tony, because he’s not—he’s not a threat, but he is, he is, right now he is—
“Tony!” Peter yells, because maybe he can get through, maybe he can— “Please—”
And he dodges out of the way of another hit, and stumbles up against the far wall in the narrow backstage hallway—
“Tony, this isn’t—it’s me, it’s Peter, Tony, you have to fight this!” he yells, and he starts running again—again—
“He’s not home!” Tony sing-songs, laughing. “Should have known you’d be fucking trouble, a stupid fucking kid is Spider-Man—”
And Peter runs from him, and sees the fire alarm on the wall, and he grabs it and pulls it as he passes it by—
And the alarm goes off in the real world now, in tune with the one in his head, flashing red and white. He hears Tony curse and yell behind him, and Peter has to—he has to—
Doesn’t fucking matter, it’s set—it’ll still do damage where it is—
It has to be a bomb, it has to be—
And he grits his teeth—Tony is still on his heels, and tears sting in Peter’s eyes along with the heartbeat thump of the pulp his face is turning into, and he sucks in a breath and dodges another repulsor blast—
He has to get him to stop, stop, stop trying to stop him—
And he turns around, and tries to hold back and focus at the same time—
“I’m sorry, I’m—I’m so so sorry—”
And he punches him once, and then again, directly in the face, and Peter knows how strong he is and he tries not to hurt him too badly, and Tony crumples and Peter catches him, guiding him to the ground—
And even though the arrows and the alarms are buzzing and jolting in Peter’s entire body now, he sniffles through the blood and makes sure Tony is still breathing, makes sure he still has a pulse, and he is, he does, and Peter squeezes his shoulder and he can’t think about after, not til they get there—
“I’m sorry,” he breathes, squeezing his shoulder again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”
And he gets up and he doesn’t let himself look back and he starts running again—
And he’s limping now, and he doesn’t know where that came from, and he finds the place where they stored their bags—
And alarms in his head, and the fire alarm in the building, and lights flashing on and off and he can hear the insanity in the main ballroom, and he finds the duffel and rips it open and—
It is a bomb. 
And it’s got a five minute counter.
Peter scrambles, his head pounding pulsing sick, and he gets his webshooters out and puts them on and grabs the entire duffel bag and slings it over his shoulder.
And he makes a break through the nearest emergency door.
And he gets a running start and leaps into a swing, and his whole face hurts and the emergency in his head is steeping him in a bubble now, because the source is with him, and the danger is still back there, because he doesn’t know if knocking Tony out broke the mind control or if he’s gonna wake up still trapped as an angry Terminator—
And Peter swings, trying to launch himself higher and higher, and he can hear the timer clicking and he keeps track of the count and he can’t be a second off or this is gonna go south—
And it might not work anyway—
And this is dire straits, but Peter finds himself thinking of normal things, and they rise above the noise in his head and the oncoming sirens and he doesn’t feel calm, exactly—his face is pulsing with the pain of the hits he took and he feels like he lost a couple teeth, and his shoulder feels like it’s not in the socket properly every time he swings higher, and his leg is in fire and his spidey sense is an orb of panic, encasing him in a snow globe, but—
He thinks of watching that African Grey Parrot with MJ and Ned the other day, for two hours straight, wiping out the entire YouTube catalog of all his antics. He thinks about the yoga class with May at Bryant Park they got with that Groupon and the seven chai lattes she had lined up beside her mat like bowling pins. He thinks about touring the MIT campus with Tony and the way he introduced him to everybody and said this kid is gonna be the best student you ever have. Sharing french fries at Sebastian’s Cafe. I’m so proud of you.
And he hears the beeping speed up, and he’s thinking of all of that and everything else and why did I wear these shoes why not the brown ones as he tosses the duffel into the air at the arc of his highest swing, and it explodes above him in a mess of orange fireball and knocks him right out of the air—
~
Tony wakes up broken apart.
He doesn’t open his eyes right away. He’s not in the vice grip anymore, not locked into some subconscious pit in his own body while some asshole takes the reins, but he feels like—he feels like the asshole could take over again at any minute, like he’s still in his head somewhere. Dormant, waiting for a moment of weakness so he can shove Tony back down in his cage—
His hands are cuffed together, and he’s—he’s cuffed to something—
He groans, rattling his hands a little bit, and he wakes up and—
Rhodey and Pepper are there. He’s on the floor, and cuffed to a pipe in the wall, and they’re sitting in front of him, and they both look wary and he doesn’t fucking blame them, and his head is pounding and his memories are slapdash watercolor but—
“It’s me,” he breathes, his throat hurting. “It’s me, it’s me—”
“There’s something wrong with you,” Rhodey says, and he exchanges a look with Pepper. He’s got a butterfly bandage on his cheek and Tony thinks that’s me, my fault and what else did he, what else—
“No, I know,” Tony says, squeezing his eyes shut, and his head is pounding and it feels like someone shredded him from the inside out, and—
Tony, you have to fight this—
He remembers, barely—the NYPD taking that guy away, laughing at the idea that they had to ‘save Iron Man’, and he was alone that night and still skeeved off over the whole thing and then he felt the pinch on his arm and felt the thing burrowing and he panicked and he couldn’t even panic for long enough before he seized, before he fell inside himself—
“Thing in my arm,” he croaks, still squeezing his eyes shut tight, because light hurts because voices hurt because everything hurts, and he’s trying to put together the puzzle of his memories and he feels like he might throw up because—because he’s here now but the other guy—he’s here too, he’s still in there, he’s still—and any moment he could— “There’s a thing in my upper arm, left arm—you need to—dig it out, I think it’s right below—right under the skin, it’s like—it made me—made me susceptible, created a link, I don’t fucking know, get it out. You need to get it out.”
“Tony, what—”
Pepper’s voice.
“Pep, he’s—”
“It’s me right now, get it out of my arm or it might not be me in—” He opens his eyes too fast, and really feels like he’s gonna fucking throw up, and they’re both looking at him like he’s the biggest piece of trash they’ve ever had the misfortune of knowing, and that makes him sick too, and what did he—what did he do, what—puzzle pieces, shifting, falling off a glass table—
And he feels his hands breaking skin—
“Jesus Christ,” Rhodey says, and he shifts around and moves over to Tony’s left side, pushing up his sleeve. Tony isn’t even sure where the hell they are right now—he was deep inside, dark and dank and paralyzed in his own body—
“Jesus,” Rhodey says again, and Tony cranes his neck a bit and sees it, feels Rhodey running his finger over a little bump in his arm about the size of a nickel—
“Cut it out,” Tony says, closing his eyes again. “I’m serious, find a knife, cut it out, that’s—”
“Tony,” Pepper says, and she’s rubbing his knee—
“Pepper,” Rhodey says, in that warning tone he has, and the fact that he has to warn Tony’s wife not to touch him is just—
“Cut it out, Rhodey, I’m serious—”
“Alright, Jesus Christ, alright—” And he scrambles away—
“Sterilize it, Rhodey,” Pepper calls after him, looking at Tony again. Her face is streaked with worry, and she looks at him with wariness and pity and love all at the same time. “Tony, why didn’t you—you couldn’t say—”
“I was here but I wasn’t,” he breathes, and the cuffs are hurting his wrists, and everything is fucking hurting, and what did he do what did he do how the fuck long has it been. “Someone—someone got me, I let my guard down and someone—”
It was so easy. The guy used himself as a distraction, as bait, and then he—he did whatever the hell he did and then he was in Tony’s head—
“Okay, okay,” Rhodey says, rushing back around the corner again. “Close your eyes, Tony, if you are—Tony, goddamnit—”
Tony swallows hard, nodding and closing his eyes, and he winces, holding onto the pipe as Rhodey cuts into his skin. He does it fast, and Tony grits his teeth, and he feels Rhodey take the thing out and then he hears him stomping and stomping and stomping—
Feels like plates falling and crashing to the ground inside Tony’s skull. 
He doesn’t get it all, but he gets flashes—the bomb under his hands, Rhodey confronting him, Peter—
Peter.
He remembers hitting him. Over and over, and is that the same hit or—how many times did he—
Peter hitting the wall, and Tony recoils, a tremor running through him, and what did he, what did—
“Where’s Peter?” he asks, looking back and forth at them. His arm is throbbing, everything hurts, he’s frail and sick and he’s probably gonna fucking puke but he doesn’t care. “Where’s Peter, where is he?”
They both just stare at him, and kind of look at each other, and Tony’s heart sinks. 
“What, did I kill him?” he asks, his voice breaking. He grabs onto the bar he’s cuffed to, feeling like he needs to hold on. He’s terrified. “What, what? Where is he?”
“Tony, you were…” Rhodey starts, shaking his head. “You—the kid knew you were acting weird and I went to confront you and you knocked me out—and I guess—Jesus, I guess you were—are, I don’t goddamn know—being mind controlled, and you brought a bomb in here—we’re at the gala, for the new facility—and Peter sussed you out and you two got into it and he knocked you out and I guess—knocked this guy’s control on you loose enough—but he—he took the bomb and—he had webshooters and he—”
Tony closes his eyes, white noise eating into his vision, and he feels like he’s gonna pass out. “Is Peter dead?” he breathes, shaking.
“We’re trying to find him,” Pepper says, and she rubs Tony’s knee again. “Some people got footage, he tossed it into the air and he was blown back and now we can’t—Happy is out there looking, Sam and Natasha are looking, we’ve got emergency deployment teams looking—”
“Uncuff me, please,” Tony half-whispers, because his voice gets caught in his throat. “I need to help, I need to—I need to help look for him—”
“Tony, you’re—”
“He’s not in my head anymore,” Tony snaps, looking at Rhodey. He doesn’t know how the fuck he can prove that, but he can feel it now. It’s different, he’s—he feels ill, and weak, but he doesn’t feel trapped. He doesn’t feel like the ground is about to fall out from underneath him. “And you need to find someone to get that dipshit, he was supposed to be in jail, but right now, I’m—I’m in here alone, okay? I wanna help look for Peter, I want to—please let me, please. You can stay with me, but I need to—just—please. Please.”
Pepper and Rhodey exchange a look, and Tony keeps getting flashes—his fist connecting with Peter’s face, grabbing him and throwing him against the wall—and he shakes them off, swallowing hard. “Please,” he breathes.
Rhodey heaves a sigh. “Lemme get the key.”
~
Tony watches the footage from the quinjet while they scan over the city. He was ruthless, relentless, and he watches himself grab Peter by the throat, toss him every which way, hit him and hit him and hit him again. He made him bleed, over and over, he shot him and burned him up and dragged him to the ground, and Peter barely fought him. He actively avoided it, and got worse because of it. Tony keeps watching, and before long Clint is walking over and taking the phone from him. 
“It wasn’t you,” he says, giving him a pointed look. “Alright? You know that. It wasn’t you.”
“Sure looked like me,” Tony says, getting up and walking back over to Friday’s main control panel. Peter wasn’t in a suit, so this is harder than normal. 
“It wasn’t,” Clint says, sitting back in the pilot’s seat. And he doesn’t say much else about it, but Tony knows he knows firsthand what he’s going through, what this feels like. And it helps a little bit, but not much. The images are imprinted in his head.
He loves Peter. May trusts Tony with her nephew, her surrogate son, the person in her care, and it’s gotten to the point that it’s just a given that Peter is safe with Tony, that Tony’s always gonna help him and protect him. But now there’s this. Now there’s Tony punching him and hitting him and choking him and making him bleed, and he looks down at his hands and they shake. 
Nobody else was hurt, he didn’t do anything else, but that’s because Peter took the bomb. He took that on himself, Tony’s mistake, Tony’s problem, and he put himself in danger to solve it and save everybody. And now they can’t find him. 
Tony wavers back down into the closest seat.
“Stop beating yourself up,” Pepper says, walking out of the back compartment and sitting down next to him. “It wasn’t you. You’re a victim here too.”
“I hurt him, whether it was…me in charge or not,” Tony says, his eyes straining with tears as he looks at her. “These hands hurt him. And I almost…blew up the goddamn gala, if it wasn’t for him noticing—”
“I didn’t notice,” she says. “I should have—Rhodey should have—”
“You guys are busy,” Tony says, looking at the screen again. He’s got a social media tracker up too, and so many people are talking about what happened. Peter didn’t have a mask on, but thankfully, there’s no good footage of his face. 
Everyone is calling him a hero. Because that’s exactly what he is, what he always has been.
“You need people to look out for you too,” Pepper says, running her hand through his hair. “We should have done better, but Peter’s got that little…alert system in his brain, and he’s intuitive, and he knows you. He loves you, he worries.”
Tony shakes his head, looking down at his hands again. He knows May is with Happy, searching, and he can’t even imagine how she feels right now. He feels fucking sick.
“You need someone to check you out too,” Pepper says, still touching him gently, and he doesn’t deserve that either. “Probably have a concussion.”
“Not til we find him,” Tony croaks. “Doesn’t matter.”
“Tony,” she says, but he shakes his head. He’s supposed to be better than this. They defeated a fucking Titan, they defied death and time and saved the goddamn world. And he lets a petty thief mind control him? Take away his agency? Hit Rhodey, threaten an event with innocent people, hurt Peter, badly, put him in harm’s way—
“Tony,” Clint says. “I think we got something.”
~
Peter needs to get up.
He’s been laying here for forty five years he’s an old man now—
He needs to get back he needs to fix Tony so nothing else happens he needs to protect him and get that guy that did this it must have been that guy that’s when it started and he doesn’t know how he did it but he mind controlled him somehow—
Peter coughs, twisting onto his side, and he spits out some blood, and a tooth, and he hopes it’s his wisdom tooth that’s been bothering him the top right one—
He got exploded, that’s right—
And his face hurts, and where the repulsor got him is burning and he feels like he’s wheezing and he falls back on his back again and he feels like he’s on fire a little bit and is his left eye closed or welded closed or gone forever and his leg—twisted—
And just a second just a second—
Black again, in a wonder wheel of spiraling stars—
“Hey, hey. Pete.”
He opens his eyes. Tony is there, cupping his face in his hands, and Peter smiles a little bit, dizzy.
“Is it you?” he asks, or thinks he asks. He can’t hear his own voice. Tony sounded muffled too, but he nods at him.
“It’s me,” he says. He looks so sad. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Peter closes his eyes again, because they’re so heavy. “It’s okay,” he says, and he feels like he’s being lifted up, and he doesn’t remember anything else after—
He opens his eyes. He feels like he’s moving, and he recognizes the tiny medical room in the quinjet. Tony is right next to him, and he stands up when he sees Peter’s awake, and is Peter awake? He feels…crazy, he feels…
“Tony,” he says, and he tries to sit up. “Is it you? Is it you? Are you—”
“I’m not gonna hurt you,” Tony says, stepping closer. He still sounds muffled, and faraway, and so does everything else. But he looks like himself. He’s not off anymore. “I’m not gonna hurt you again. Jesus, Pete, I’m so sorry—”
Peter shakes his head, blinking at him. “You didn’t, you—it wasn’t you, you didn’t—”
“I did, technically,” Tony says, and he just stands there and he’s got tears in his eyes and he isn’t really looking at him. He’s close, but he’s keeping his distance. “We’re on our way back, to the compound, May and everybody else is meeting us there—you, uh, you saved everybody, you’re burned in a couple places from the blast and my—goddamn repulsor, but Helen’s gonna—when we get back, she’s going to—”
He sighs, stops talking and rests his elbows on the bar of the bed, and hangs his head, like he’s ashamed. Peter hasn’t ever really seen him like this, and his brain still feels like it’s swiss cheese but he sits up a little bit more. He covers Tony’s hands with his own and squeezes them, and tries not to think about how much everything hurts.
“You wouldn’t be mad at me if this was opposite,” Peter says, staring at the top of his head. “You wouldn’t. You wouldn’t blame me at all and I don’t blame you either so. So. Just don’t even, I mean. Just don’t.”
“You can’t even talk straight,” Tony says, still not looking up. 
“That’s most of the time,” Peter says, still holding onto his hands. 
Tony sighs. “I put you in danger and I hurt you. I watched the footage, it was a fucking nightmare, and you let me keep hitting you because you know how strong you are and you didn’t want to hurt me so you just let me keep hurting you—”
“It wasn’t you,” Peter says, trying to be assertive, and he’s so tired, he’s so, so tired. He leans forward, resting his head on Tony’s shoulder, and he closes his eyes. “It wasn’t your fault. It isn’t. So stop. I know you won’t and you’re gonna live in this and punish yourself forever but like, don’t. Don’t do that.” He sighs, leaning into him. “Did you guys get the bad guy—”
“Sounded like it,” Tony says, and he’s still hanging his head, and Peter sighs. “I think so. I gotta check in with Rhodey again. Make sure nobody else got mind controlled.”
“So it all worked out,” Peter says.
“You nearly getting exploded is not it all working out.”
“I didn’t get exploded I only got slightly singed and nobody else got exploded and you are no longer mind controlled so. Win to me.”
Tony sighs again, and he gently, very gently, wraps his arms around Peter and hugs him. “I’m gonna jump off a fucking roof,” he says. “I never wanna hurt you. Never. I can barely remember it, I’ve got flashes—”
“Don’t try,” Peter says, reaching up and holding onto his arm.
“—but I saw the footage—”
“Forget it,” Peter says. “Erase it.”
Tony shakes his head. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have ever—allowed it to happen in the first place, and I still don’t know how the hell it did, and I’ve just got—a lot of work to do, to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I can’t let myself get taken like that, used like a fucking goon against people I love. Jesus Christ. You’re hurt because of me.”
“Nope,” Peter says, because he doesn’t have the brain power to try and fight him harder, even though he knows it’s gonna be a guilt battle probably for the rest of their lives. 
“Pete,” Tony says, still holding onto him.
“Nope,” Peter says again, and he drifts. Spidey sense is dormant. He’s a piece of raw meat but he’s—safe.
~
And Tony isn’t there when Peter wakes up again, back at the compound. May is there, and after she hugs him and kisses him about a hundred times, she breaks out the Tupperware, containing all the little appetizers from the gala that never was. 
And Tony stays missing in action the next couple days, even though everyone else comes by to see how Peter is doing. Rhodey implies that Tony paid a special visit to the asshole that did this, but he doesn’t go into detail on what the encounter entailed. The guy did have hidden powers, clearly, and Doctor Strange even gets involved trying to figure out how he did it, what exactly that thing was that they pulled out of Tony’s arm. 
But three days later and Peter still hasn’t seen him again. 
“Maybe he’s busy,” Ned says, as he and Peter and MJ walk up and down the hallways. Peter broke his ankle, somewhere in all the insanity, and pulled a muscle in his calf. He’s been trying to walk around a lot during the day, even though he’s still on bed rest.
“He’s not busy,” Peter says. “He’s avoiding me.”
“Well, he beat the shit out of you, and he feels bad,” MJ says. 
Peter sighs. 
“I’d feel bad too,” MJ says, “even if I was mind controlled. It still sucks, I mean, when I saw him his knuckles were still all bruised. Just a constant reminder of what someone made him do.”
“You saw him?” Peter asks, looking at her.
She looks a little bit like she wants to take a back, but she nods. “Yeah, uh, earlier. When I got here, when I was talking to Pepper.”
“Did you talk to him?” Peter asks, as they turn around at the end of the hall. He’s trying to sound nonchalant and failing spectacularly.
“Not really,” MJ says, taking Peter’s hand. “He wouldn’t really even look at me, I can tell he—he’s just really guilty. He feels really bad.”
“Peter doesn’t want him to feel bad,” Ned says. 
“Yeah, but once you feel bad, you feel bad,” MJ says, “it’s not like it magically goes away because someone says that it should.”
“Maybe we can magic him,” Ned says. “Doctor Strange, you know. He could do that.”
“Yeah, let’s just hack into his mind again,” MJ says, widening her eyes at him. “I’m sure that’s the right course of action.”
Peter sighs again. “I don’t know what to do,” he says. “He could do this forever. And ever and ever.”
“Well, definitely as long as you’re all bruised up,” MJ says, reaching over with her free hand and brushing her thumb over Peter’s cheek. 
~
And two more days go by without seeing Tony, and it’s almost time for Peter and May to head back to their apartment, even though May said they could stay at the compound as long as he wanted to.
And Peter decides to do something.
“Friday is he still there?” Peter asks, making his way down to the workshop.
“Yes, Peter,” Friday says, in Peter’s ear.
“And you’re not lying to me?” Peter asks, rushing down the stairs, quick as he can with a bum leg.
“No, Peter,” Friday says. “I am not permitted to lie to you.”
Peter smiles to himself. He knows he still doesn’t look wonderful, but he looks a lot better than he did, and either way he can’t take this anymore. And he gets down to the workshop in what feels like record time and he scans in without trying to make a lot of noise, and when he opens the door he sees Tony at the back door as if he’s trying to escape.
“Stop!” Peter yells, his hands up. “Stop! Don’t leave!”
Tony whips around, his eyebrows furrowed. “Kid?” he says, already walking back over in his direction. “Are you okay?”
“No!” Peter says, a little more forcefully than he intended to. 
“What’s wrong?” Tony asks, gently, weaving around the work stations and reaching his side. 
“You’re ignoring me!” Peter says, and he sounds like a small, stupid child, but he doesn’t do anything to change that. “And I don’t like it.”
Tony’s face falls, and he nods, glancing away from him. “I’m not…ignoring you, I just—I felt like—”
“I know you feel bad,” Peter says, sucking in a big breath. “And I know me telling you not to feel bad doesn’t change the fact that you feel bad, but I seriously don’t want you to feel bad, because now this whole like—keeping yourself separate and out of my sight thing feels like you’re punishing me.”
“I’m not,” Tony says, fast. “I was just—”
“You don’t need to punish yourself either—”
“I wasn’t really…exactly…c’mere, come sit down—”
“I’m okay,” Peter says.
“I know, I know, I wanna sit,” Tony says, taking Peter’s arm and tugging him over to the closest workstation with two rolling chairs. They sit down, and they both sigh, and Tony keeps talking. “I was just, uh—I sent out messages to everyone involved at the gala explaining things a little bit, and I got everything rescheduled on my own, and I, uh—met up with the asshole at Riker’s and attacked him and nearly got arrested myself—”
Peter leans on the workstation, running his hands over his face. He can imagine that, and he doesn’t like it.
“—and I’ve been building some new security protocols, and working on another nano suit for you that’s a lot like my watch gauntlet that can—stay on your person, read your heart rate, come to you if you need it—but I’m trying to make sure it only comes in the correct instance, and not if you like, see a cute dog—”
Peter laughs a little bit, shaking his head at him.
Tony smiles softly. “But I’ve been doing all that, along with maybe, slightly punishing myself by—staying out of your way—”
“You’re not in my way,” Peter says, feeling a little bit too emotional, maybe. “You’re not. You never have been. Never will be.”
“You don’t know that—”
“Tony—”
“What I mean is…old man, long shadow, you know, I’ve been there—”
“You’re not your dad,” Peter says, shaking his head at him. “You’re a good—you’re a good father figure, you’re a…good father.”
Tony brightens up a little bit, and his nod almost looks like a question. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Peter says. “No matter what.”
Tony nods again, more solidly this time. “One more thing—”
“No more saying sorry,” Peter says, shaking his head. “You told me I can never say sorry again, well now, you can’t either so, how about—”
“Thank you,” Tony says, and Peter stops talking. “Thank you for—realizing that something was wrong, thank you for figuring it out, thank you for knocking me on my ass when I wasn’t me, thank you for—saving everybody and me too, in the process. Thank you, Pete, really. Thank you.”
Peter’s throat goes tight, and there are tears in his eyes, and he nods again. “You’re welcome,” he says, holding his chin high. “Any time.”
“And I’m sorry,” Tony says, fast, rolling forward and wrapping him up in a big hug. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Last time, I’m sorry. Okay I’m done. I’m so sorry. Okay I’m actually done.”
Peter snorts, hugging him too, burying his face in his shoulder. “No more mind control,” he says, letting the apologies drift into the air unanswered.
“Oh no, never again,” Tony says, rubbing Peter’s back. “And I figure, when you’re—when you’re tip top again, we can get into the ring, and I’ll feel better if you get a few good shots in, and I’ll forget about the whole thing if you break my nose—”
“No,” Peter says, shaking his head and still holding onto him. “I’m not doing that.”
“Too afraid to box an old man, huh?”
“My old man, maybe,” Peter says, feeling particularly sentimental.
And Tony laughs, in a rush of breath, and holds him reverently for a second. He pulls back, and pats Peter’s cheek. “We’ll see,” he says. “Might get Rhodey in there too, to make it fair—”
“He’ll probably take you up on that,” Peter says, getting to his feet. “Okay, lemme see the suit, remember I get last say in design decisions—”
“Oh, you aren’t going for bright yellow?” Tony asks, resting his hand on Peter’s shoulder as they head over to the main workstation. “You don’t like that?”
“Better than that time you tried to integrate green and made me look like a Christmas tree,” Peter says, grinning at him.
“Hey,” Tony says, typing in a few commands and bringing up the specs. “I thought that was very festive.”
And they start working, and Peter remembers feeling safe, before, when they were on the quinjet and his brain was still scrambled. But he feels like they’re on the other side of it now, for real. 
Safe. Really, truly safe.
249 notes · View notes
jhuzen · 1 year
Text
attention [gn/m.reader]
quick sfw fic to cleanse all of your palate from all that filth :). sagauauauauauu because my time in genshin dropped by a mile. definitely not because i’m playing honkai and have been into star rail beta lately. definitely not that. :) also definitely not an introduction to the possibility of me writing for the hsr men once the game comes out :))
𖦹 crack fic, subtle dark themes in the end, sfw sfw :D, whore overseer reader sigh, mentions of characters from hsr and honkai impact, but nothing to concern yourself over. though i would recommend you see them for yourself hehe
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Quiet. It had been all too quiet. Everyone looked up at the skies where often your softest gaze can be seen as you waited for the world to prepare for your arrival. You, their ever so benevolent overseer, isn’t around to spend some time with them like you usually would.
Such a mistake can’t exactly be unforgivable. They know you have a life other than being the great overseer of their world. You’ve talked to the many other otherworldly beings in your world, and they’ve lent their ears on days where you weren’t feeling the greatest, often do they have to suffer seeing you in such a mess as well. But there was nothing that they could do but keep up the support, letting you just sit back and diligently puppet them around, watching with satisfaction as they dealt bigger and heavier damage than the usual.
But these days, it had been relatively different. The way you were absent was in a rather poor taste, according to your devoted characters. It left something within them that they didn’t particularly want to entertain, sensing that there was something that changed with you.
Suddenly, your usual schedule of nightly visits with them turned erratic. You would either come earlier, or much later, barely making it through the commissions before the daily reset.
Worst of all, the new area that the Dendro Archon has offered to you, the one that you promised you would explore with your beloved team was suddenly left at thirty percent. You promised you would dedicate yourself into exploring the new area more, seeing that you were so excited to see Jeht and the new characters, even the NPCs that had to play the roles of the bad guys didn’t mind your berating.
Your promise was yet to be fulfilled and yet every time you would log in, you would only finish up the commissions quick and spend the resin on leylines, not bothering to farm for the artifacts and talent books like you promised to the others as well. And after that, you’re quick to leave them alone again in the wake of silence that only you can fill.
It was painful to see you leave, the care that you always showered with them slowly dwindling — your promises that seemed to hold all the water in Teyvat suddenly breaking, turning into an empty vessel of lies. You were breaking their hearts.
The hardworking ones slowly finding less meaning in foraging materials for you when you would send them on expeditions. They used to be so eager to come back with more than what you expected, finding your surprised face and the way you smiled so gratefully at them far more rewarding than any mora they’ve been paid with for the expedition. You were worth it in their eyes, and no matter how high the mountains they may climb, no matter how strong the thunderstorms are, they did not mind. It was for you after all.
The children that you’ve taken in your roster, ones that you’ve cared for, were slowly wilting and losing their childish glee. You no longer played with them. You always took them out, claiming that your daughters can cause better chaos than any other Archon combination out there. But all you’ve ever used these past few days is your main team, and even then, they were only there to serve your commissions to be done quickly.
The Archons that you’ve nurtured and built so well were lost without your gaze on them. Their lives becoming far more dull without the anticipation of being selected to lead or support your current team. You always experimented on their capabilities and tested just how far you can drive up the skills they’ve accumulated under your mercy. But now, there was barely any suspense as you came and went, barely even having the chance for them to feel you.
The abyss was lonely without you. Often it had fun at seeing your torment when you lost a single star, only to come back again with different contenders. And even when you won, frustration was not the response you would get if the abyss was sentient enough to show you its feelings.
The traveler… oh, your dearest traveler was lonely without you. More than anything, you’ve always taken the time to just explore with just them in the team, indulging the personal time you’ve made for them, foraging for specialties even when you can easily locate them with the nation specialty experts on your team. But no, you shared this time just for them and them.
But now there was coldness that you left. You were always so busy but there was nothing keeping you either. But how would they even know when you barely talk to them anymore. You became so unnervingly quiet that it was uncomfortable for everyone, only seeing your eyes focused into desecrating every enemy on your hit list of commissions. They barely had time to appreciate your company.
Not when the last time you spoke, it sounded like being with them was a chore.
“Ugh. It’s almost reset time. Gotta make this quick.”
And just when they thought you’d stay for a few more minutes to continue with the reset, you’d leave quick.
They all wanted to break through their code, change the texts of their voice lines should you happen upon their profile accidentally and see that they wanted to know why you’ve become so distant lately.
Fortunately, your beloved characters are bound to get their answers on the day that you were interrupted.
Aether watched from the sidelines — just because he wasn’t visible in the team, it didn’t mean that he was completely shoved in the back unlike the others. He will always be around to talk to the other residents of Teyvat for you. He’s your voice after all, and he wouldn’t let anyone take that away from him. It’s the one job he has always enjoyed doing in comparison to all the commissions he’s taken on as an adventurer.
The outlander traveler watched as your team stayed still in place, gazing off in your direction, admiring the way your eyebrows knitted as the blaring call interrupted your time with them. Perhaps you still had some care within you, then?
Curiosity swept everyone like a massive tidal wave as you answered your little communication device, turning in your swivel chair.
“Speak before I change my mind about answering you,,” you huffed, a tad playful, but stayed silent as you listened to your friend. Even from the muted volume that the great barrier that is your screen provided, they can hear your friend’s rather loud laughter, possibly on a mission to destroy your poor ears.
“Ah, that? Yeah. I got into the beta testing. It’s wild, dude.” You chortled, before swiveling back to face your computer, those eyes of yours digging into your team’s bodies and boy were they glad they can control a shiver that you sent down their spines. There was always something so hypnotic about your gaze. Perhaps it’s why you’ve truly earned the title as their grand overseer. The way you seemed to just catch onto every little detail in the clothing they’ve donned on. It was a good feeling — to have your approval.
Your eyes never once left them as you continued on with your conversation, “It’s kind of like TCG, but with people. Hah… no. It’s kinda complicated, I’m not even going to lie, I have a feeling that people will really struggle if they don’t have the patience for this.” You smiled a little, “Yeah, people like you. …Apologize? What for? I’m only telling the truth. Anyway, even if you don’t have the patience, I’m sure you’ll bend your back for the characters.”
Now that piqued their interests. Even those who were situated in the backseat of your team, waiting to be used. “You’re not really wrong. You’ll see characters from Honkai there too. Yeah. Welt looks so old, dude. He’s giving DILF. You’ll like him.” You cackled.
Poor Zhongli felt offended. Wasn’t he the one to hold the distinction as the father you’d like to… copulate… with? You always made such flustering remarks every time he was out on a mission with you, putting him in circumstances that could leave him gasping for air, coming undone just from your comments that could leave any prudes fainting.
“Oh yeah, there’s a twink here too. Yanqing — he’s so adorable. You know I’m going to be all over him.”
The plethora of short men that you’ve showered with love and attention soon found themselves under attack. The threat of this… Yanqing suddenly breaking out in the surface. They hated the idea of someone else having your attention. As if it wasn’t already a pain to compete over you with others! It was always a battle with the short men (all except Aether, he knew he had a special place in your heart).
You hummed a little, kicking your legs and winced as you accidentally hit the legs of your computer desk. And while they knew it was wrong to see delight in your mild pain, it felt nice to see the cruel you get a little bit of punishment for your cruelty.
“Yeah no, I’m okay. Totally fine.” You hissed a little, opting to ride out the dull throb in your poor shin. “Anyway, overall, really good. You know who I’m going after though? Jing Yuan and Blade. I have to. I need them in my life. I need them and I need to be inside them—” a loud laugh erupts from the back of your throat as you listened to your poor friend choke on air at your words, ignoring their scolding, completely oblivious to the tall men that found complete displeasure in your words.
It wasn’t all too savory to see their beloved overseer suddenly turn your back on them, as you continued to rant away about the characters. Even the women that you took care of, and the children you’ve coddled were dragged into the mess, whining about someone named Kafka? Someone that the Shogun suddenly found herself narrowing her eyes at. You dare speak of other women on the day you said you’d visit her in her plane of Euthymia? Especially after surviving your mumbles about someone named Raiden Mei? Absolutely preposterous.
Your poor daughters wilted as you uttered about Bailu, gushing about her adorable face and wanting to protect her. Does that mean you’re giving up on protecting them? You seemed so hellbent on this new kid… oh, how it breaks their heart to be replaced by someone they considered as a parental figure…
And the endeared traveler in your heart grew anxious. Fear gnawed into the back of Aether’s mind as you shifted your attention to another character.
“Then there’s the trailblazer. Much like the traveler, you can also pick a guy or a girl. Of course I picked the guy, you know I’m already so, so weak for these tropes.” You turned back into the monitor and Aether watched in bated breath, now wishing that he wasn’t in the sidelines like always. He wanted to face you directly so you can see his heartbroken expression and perhaps take pity.
But your poor traveler could only listen to your words, “Yeah, I won’t say much. But he’s definitely interesting. I like him. A nice change, actually.” You laughed while Aether’s heart dropped to his stomach.
A nice change? What does that even mean? Were you implying that you were finally getting sick of him? That you no longer wanted to indulge him in your alone times together? Poor, poor Aether — how he wished to just break through the screen and drag you in their world.
For days, they’ve wanted to know what kept you away from them. But somehow finding out the reason only brought regret and bitterness. You almost forgot to spend time with them recently because you’re acting as an overseer in another world? Just how cruel can you get? You promised yourself to them the moment you swore your devotion as their overseer and caretaker.
You were theirs! Why can’t you see that?! Going off to other worlds, hopping in to gaze at other undeserving people that are probably not even aware of your presence unlike them!
Suddenly, there was an air of stagnancy around Teyvat.
Surely there has to be a way to convince you, right? For you to keep your eyes to only them and them. To devote your time only for them. To spend most of your time just taking care of them. Surely there was a way to delete the other worlds, no?
They’ve waited on you long enough, dearest overseer.
They should hope that you wouldn’t protest in their acts of rebellion, right?
And besides, you love them with all your heart and soul! You said that! Declared it even and proved it with their decked out builds and weapons and maxed out friendships! If that was the case, then you wouldn’t mind finally meeting them, right?
Right?
You chatted to your friend away, suddenly oblivious to the way your screen glitched. To the way suddenly this beta testing game you’re overseeing also fighting back, surprisingly just as sentient as they are.
There was a war brewing between these beloved pixels of yours. And hopefully you can appreciate just how much they will fight for the top place in that heart of yours.
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