#they will be so happy to have white fluff for their babies :) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ieirism · 7 months

Text

crybaby.

pairing: gojo satoru x f!reader

setting: modern au

genre: smut and fluff

contains: brother’s best friend gojo, protective older brother geto, use of pet names (baby, princess, sweetheart), unprotected sex, slightly mean gojo (but he ends up soft and sweet, I promise), dirty talk, overstimulation, mutual pining, dacryphilia, oral (f receiving), cheesy and happy ending <3

summary: satoru had promised suguru that there'd be no funny business while he takes care of his heartbroken baby sister... but he's never been the greatest at keeping promises.

“Stop being so mean to her, Satoru.” Satoru looks over at his best friend, who's clicking his tongue in disapproval, with a nonchalant grin.

“Not my fault she’s such a crybaby, Suguru.”

“Come on.” Suguru shoots him a warning look. “That’s my little sister you're talking about.”

“Hey, hey,” Satoru laughs, raising his hands in mock defense. “You gotta teach her how to grow thicker skin. Not my problem.”

“Every time you come over, she ends up crying.” The black-haired man sighs. “Don’t be a jerk just for one moment, won’t you?”

“Mmh, no promises.” Satoru grins. Sue him, he’s simply too addicted to the way your face scrunches up indignantly whenever he teases you, the futile yet endearing clenching of your small fists at your side, and most of all, the uncontrollable blubbers that leave your lips as tears roll down your cheeks.

Years later, you’re still the same. Just a little crybaby coming apart at the seams, completely at Gojo Satoru’s mercy.

“S-Satoru…” The high-pitched whine of his name only elicits a laugh from the man between your legs, sending shock waves of pleasure shooting through your body.

“Baby, you gotta stop movin’ so much.” Satoru’s large hands grip your thighs, holding them firmly in place as he continues to feast on your dripping pussy. “Gotta let me eat you properly.” He punctuates his point with a loud suck on your clit that has you mewling and twitching under his hold.

“T-Too much!” You sob, hands curling into the silky white stands on his head, tugging uselessly. “S’too much, S-Satoru…”

“You wanna take my cock later, princess?” He hums against your cunt, licking a hot stripe up your slit, chuckling as he watches your pussy clench around nothing. His gaze lazily travels upwards, greeted with the sight of you nodding furiously as tears stream down your cheeks.

“Yes,” you plead with wide, teary eyes. “N-need you.” Satoru smirks.

“Then be a good girl and let me prep you,” he coos, before diving right back between your folds, enjoying the broken sob that leaves your lips as he draws zigzags across your swollen clit.

“I really don’t understand you,” Suguru bristles, frustration evident by the way his eyebrows furrow as he eyes Satoru.

“Hmm?” Satoru looks at him with feigned innocence. “Whatever could you be talking about, dear Suguru?”

“You’re unbelievable.” He sighs. “Those gifts you bought her… they’re worth almost a million yen. What the hell is wrong with you, really.”

“Well, you told me I made her cry.” The white-haired man shrugged. “I had to make up for it, didn’t I?” Suguru squints suspiciously, at a brief loss for words.

“...You are not normal,” he finally scoffs.

“Of course not,” Satoru agrees, unfazed.

“You can’t keep doing this. You’re gonna end up spoiling her.”

“And what’s so bad about that?”

“Gimme another one, baby.” He’s faintly aware that if he makes you cum again, you really might pass out. However, he can’t really bring himself to be too concerned about that, not when he’s quickly becoming addicted to the taste of your dripping cunt and cries of pleasure.

“C-Can’t, I can’t — “ You sob, entire body shaking around his mouth; you’re so sensitive.

“You can,” he insists between hungry slurps, not letting any of your arousal go to waste. “Fuck…” You’re so sweet. Just how did he survive this long without having a taste of you?

“Please…” You’re still shy, trying your best to stifle your cries even as they fall in a steady stream from your trembling lips. Each loud squelch of your sopping pussy still has you cringing a little, not to mention the embarrassment that washes over you every time you catch a glimpse of your juices all over Satoru’s face.

“Don’t hold back anymore, sweetheart.” He reaches up to grab your wrists, pulling them away from your mouth even as you blubber out a weak protest. “Wanna hear you this time, say it loud. Say my name when you cum.” One more combined thrust of his fingers, deep into your hole with a flick of his tongue across your clit has you creaming on his lips for the fourth time.

“S-Satoru!” You’re unable to control the beautifully loud whine of his name as Satoru greets your orgasm eagerly, savoring every last drop of your release on his tongue.

“You made her cry again.” Suguru says, rolling his eyes as he approaches his best friend at their meeting spot.

“Huh?” Satoru raises a brow. “Haven’t even seen her since two weeks ago. What’d I do?”

“She’s sad you’re moving away.” Suguru tuts. “Can’t imagine why. Probably because she won’t be able to use you for your wallet anymore.”

“You implyin’ I’m just a wallet to her?” Satoru exclaims, a little offended. The black-haired man shoots him a deadpan glare.

“You know you’re not. But even you’re not enough of an asshole to use that against her.”

“It’s just college,” Satoru muses. “Kid thinks I won’t be back for her?”

“In two years she’ll be going off to college too.” Suguru shrugs. “She’ll get over you.”

“What a cruel thing to say.” Satoru laughs it off, ignoring the small flicker of jealousy that flares to life deep in his chest.

Satoru watches as your chest heaves up and down, in your effort to try to recover from the multiple orgasms he had just given you. You’re lying limp on your bed, unable to move save for the periodic twitching of your thighs.

“Sorry, princess, was that too much?” He’s teasing, but there’s a genuine edge of concern to his voice as he cups your cheek in his hand. You nod, a few tears falling down your face. “Aww, forgive me. You’ll forgive me, right?” In response, you tug weakly on his shirt collar, asking him to come closer. He relents, allowing you to drag him down towards you. Satoru’s about to ask what you need, before you suddenly tilt your head upwards to kiss him.

Satoru lets out a small noise of surprise as your soft lips press against his, hesitant at first, but deepening once your fingers find further purchase in his shirt, gripping tightly. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you up into his lap.

You kiss him a little clumsily, still boneless from your release but Satoru doesn’t mind. Doesn’t mind at all, of course, when your lips are so soft against his, and he can swallow every quiet whimper that escapes you.

“Satoru…” Your voice is raspy and small, but your eyes are wild as you cling helplessly to him. “A-Am… Am I ready yet?” His jaw goes slack in awe at the adorable, troubled expression on your face. Your lips are swollen into a permanent pout now as you look up at him with those wide doe eyes that always had him weak.

“...Think you are,” he heaves, realizing that he’s just as fucked out as you are. It takes everything in him to hold back the urge to just take you.

“She’s grown up.” Satoru raises his eyebrows in pleasant surprise at the pictures that Suguru shows him. Your family had recently gone on vacation, so Suguru had been gone for an entire week, leaving his best friend and roommate all alone.

“That’s what you’re looking at?” Suguru shoots him an annoyed look.

“Oh,” says Satoru, glancing back at the picture. “Uh, nice waterfall.”

“One of the seven natural wonders of the world and all you can see is my baby sister.” Suguru exhales deeply.

“What? You can’t blame me too much. Kid’s changed,” the white-haired man shoots defensively.

“She’s twenty, not sixteen anymore. Of course, she’s changed.” Suguru pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I know that, I just…” Satoru pauses, glancing back at the picture. You’re still tiny, only reaching up to your brother’s, and by extension his, chest. Your face has matured, though, baby fat gone from your cheeks. That didn’t stop you from being any less adorable, though — your smile is as radiant as ever. He can’t help but let a small smile of his own slip onto his face.

“Hopeless,” Suguru mutters in disbelief. “Hopeless, the both of you.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

Satoru lets you unbutton his shirt, watching in amusement as your eyes narrow with focus as each button pops open, slowly revealing more and more of his skin.

“Um…” You’re nervous. It’s plain as day from the way your lip wobbles as your eyes sweep down the view of his chiseled chest and torso, only to end at the prominent bulge in his slacks.

“You sure you’re okay with this, princess?” He cups your chin in his hand, gently tilting your face to look straight at him. “Need to rest?”

“N-No!” You protest immediately, shaking your head. “I…” You glance back down at his erection, a flicker of desire in your eyes. “I need…” You trail off, unable to say it.

“Okay.” If he was feeling meaner, he would make you tell him exactly what you want. But he wants to be nice today, especially since you’ve already cried so much for him. “Okay, baby. Don’t worry, you’ll have it. Can you unzip me? Can you do that for me?” You hesitate for a moment. Satoru briefly wonders if he’s perhaps pushed you a bit too hard.

But then you’re reaching for him, small hands finding the top of his pants and slowly undoing the button. Your fingers close around his zipper, slowly tugging it down.

“Good girl.” He pecks your forehead. “Take me out of my boxers, alright?” As his angry, swollen cock springs free from his underwear, you can’t contain your gasp.

“Oh…” The soft sound leaves you almost involuntarily as you stare and wonder at how the hell that’s gonna fit in you. He’s thick and long, rock hard and dripping with pre-cum. You slowly wrap your own hand around his cock, lips parting as your fingers fail to meet in the middle. Your own pussy clenches in a combination of fear and excitement.

“See why I needed to prepare you, now?”

“Sorry to spring this onto you all of a sudden, especially since you just got into town.” Suguru sighs over the phone.

“Don’t worry about it. If you’re not around to take care of her, duty falls on me,” says Satoru as he reverses his car out of the parking lot, heading to the location Suguru had sent him.

“Let me know when she’s home safe. Tell her I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“Yeah, will do.”

A pause.

“And… no funny business, got it?”

“Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“I’m serious, Satoru. She just confronted her asshole cheater ex. She doesn’t need you drooling all over her right now.”

“Relax, dude. I’m not that desperate.” Satoru rolls his eyes.

“Good. Keep it that way.”

His conversation with Suguru lies in the back of his mind, forgotten, as Satoru places a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Lay back and relax for me, sweetheart.” You immediately obey, laying yourself down on your bed, heart beating fast in anticipation.

“S’gonna hurt, right?” you ask softly.

“Don’t worry, baby. I’ve gotten you ready, see?” Satoru comforts you, brushing his fingers against the wetness still soaking your entrance.

“Oh.” Tears suddenly well in your eyes. “Um, s-sorry, it just always hurt with him…”

“What?” Satoru’s eyes darken, unsure if you mean what he thinks you do.

“He just…” You bite your lip, trying not to let your tears fall. “H-He just p-put it in, y’know?” His heart drops in his stomach. Two years, two whole fucking years with that asshole, and he had never given you proper foreplay? No wonder you were so sensitive and responsive to his touch, your body had never received the attention it’s always deserved.

“Baby.” Satoru squeezes your hand, fighting down the urge to find that asshole and beat him up. That could come later. Right now, he has to focus on you. “It’s not gonna be that way this time. Not with me. Okay?” You nod, squeezing his hand in return.

“O-Okay.”

It’s the first time he’s seen you in person in four years, and here you are in the passenger seat of his car, crying your eyes out.

You feel absolutely humiliated. You had called Suguru to ask him to pick you up from your ex-boyfriend’s house after you dumped him, but he had told you he couldn’t.

“I’ll send someone to get you. Hang tight,” he’d said.

You just didn’t know it was going to be Gojo Satoru, who hadn’t returned to your hometown since he graduated high school.

“I’m gonna bring you home,” Satoru had told you, getting out of the driver’s seat to open the car door for you. “Relax, okay? You’re safe now.” He had buckled your seatbelt for you before settling in himself, starting the engine without another word.

The car ride back to your house is silent, save for the continuous sniffles that wrack your body as you try your best to stop your tears. Satoru silently puts a box of tissues in your lap at some point, and your heart stutters at the action.

You’ve known for many years now, that you never got over your first love.

Clothes fully discarded, Satoru lowers himself on top of you, enamored with the way you shyly glance down at`his cock, gaze wavering for a moment before slowly looking back up at him, eyes begging for him to do something.

“Tell me if you want to stop.” He brushes his fingers, tender and gentle, across your cheek. You nod, hand curling around his bicep.

“Kiss me,” you request, and he gladly obliges, leaning down to peck your lips.

“M’gonna go slow,” he tells you. “You want me to stop, hit me real hard — “ He smacks his own chest. “ — Right here. Got it?”

“I won’t,” you say bravely, eyes glimmering with determination. “I… I can take it.” Satoru laughs quietly.

“Alright, princess. Don’t act all cute, you’re just rilin’ me up now.” You smile, a little mischievously.

“Oh, you caught me.”

“Fuck…” Satoru groans, pressing his forehead against yours. “You’re gonna kill me.” His fat tip taps against your clit once, twice. You gasp, eyes going glossy as you feel your swollen pussy clench desperately around nothing.

“Satoru,” you plead. “P-Please…”

“I’ll give you what you need. Relax for me…” He aligns his tip with your entrance, prodding between your folds. Inch by inch, he sinks his cock into your warm, throbbing cunt, almost blacking out himself at the sensation of your tight, velvety walls clamping around his cock.

“A-Ah…!” You whine, gripping his bicep and squeezing your eyes shut. The stretch is almost too much, but the delicious sensation of being filled to the brim has you seeing stars.

“You okay?” Satoru pants, willing himself to stop from splitting you open on his cock to check on you.

“Yes,” you whimper. “Yes, a-ah, please k-keep going…” Satoru rests his head in the crook of your neck as he continues to push himself in, enjoying the soft, labored whimpers as you take more and more of him, deep into your sopping hole.

“Almost there,” he coos. “Almost there, princess…” After what feels like an eternity, he finally sheaths the last of him in you, biting at your shoulder as he finally, finally feels exactly the sensation of being one with you.

“Drink. You’ll feel better.” Satoru places a glass of water in your hand as he leads you to your living room couch. You stubbornly refuse to look at him, letting the glass sit uselessly in your hand as you stare down at your lap.

He sighs, not sure what he should do. He’s never been good at comforting others, let alone his friends’ kid sisters. He knows you’re not a kid anymore, you’re a full grown adult, but the way you’re sulking and ignoring him says otherwise. Still, his fondness for you wins above all else as he takes the water back and puts it on the coffee table, letting you sit in silence.

”You gonna be okay by yourself?” he asks instead. Satoru doesn’t want to leave you alone, but he’s not sure if his presence will even help. He hasn’t been an active part of your life in years, and he has a feeling that this incredibly vulnerable moment isn’t the best time to barge back in. You don’t reply, twiddling your thumbs.

“Call me if you need anything,” Satoru says hesitantly. “You have my number, right?” No response. “I’m gonna write it down for you.” He finds a spare stack of Post-Its and does just that. You don’t react even when he sticks the note right on top of your forehead, in a shitty attempt to lighten your mood. Your deadpan glare, so much like your brother’s tells him it did not work.

“Suguru’s gonna be back tomorrow,” he tells you, taking the note off and soothing the annoyed crease between your eyebrows. “Go get some rest now, yeah?” You look away. Satoru sighs. Seeing you upset like this hurts him way more than he would like to admit. “M’gonna leave. Get to bed soon.” He pats the top of your head, just like he always used to do, which always made you whine when he messed up your hair. You’re quiet now, not a peep of complaint leaving you.

He really misses hearing your voice.

“Bye, then.” Satoru’s about to turn around and leave, but you do something that seems to shock both of you. Your fingers curl and grab onto the hem of his collared shirt, stopping him in his tracks. He stares down at you in surprise, trying to process the sight of your small, thin fingers holding onto him for dear life.

“Stay.” The one word was enough to crumble his self-control.

You’re struggling to adjust to his size; he can tell from the way you’re digging your nails into his arm and the trembling of your thighs around his waist. Satoru stays still, waiting for your permission to go any further, right hand rubbing soothing circles on your hip.

“Don’t stress yourself, baby, just tell me what you want, when you want it,” he murmurs against your neck, waiting patiently, torturously, for permission to move.

You’re so overwhelmed by the sensation of being stuffed full; Satoru is much bigger than your ex-boyfriend and yet, the feeling isn’t painful. It’s so good, a throbbing ache that extends outwards from your core all the way to the top of your head and the tip of your toes. You can hardly form thoughts, let alone words, as your pussy stretches around him, trying to accommodate the sheer size of his cock.

A few more moments pass, and you feel like you’re going crazy. The feeling of being so, so full is one that you’ve never felt before, but you think you’re already addicted. Your thighs flex instinctively, closing tighter around Satoru’s waist and pushing his cock even deeper, pressing right against your sweet spot. You mewl, wrapping your arms around his neck, silently begging to be closer to him.

Satoru leans into the kiss you give him, groaning as your walls suddenly clench once around him, brain filling with nothing but white noise. “Fuck,” he grits out against your lips. “Fuck, baby, I don’t know how much longer — “

“Move.” Your command is quiet. Satoru almost wonders if he’s misheard you. But one look into your pleading, begging eyes confirms what you want. Unable to hold back any longer, he pulls his hips upwards, snapping right back into you with one long, hard thrust. You cry out, nails sinking into his shoulder blades.“M-More,” you whisper. “Need more.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice.

Satoru’s at a loss for words and actions as you stood on your tiptoes, reaching up and bringing his head down to kiss him. His arms instinctively wrap around your waist to steady you, craning his neck to allow you better access — oh shit, what the hell is he doing?

He lets go of you like he’s touched something on fire, pulling back from the kiss. As your heels land back on the ground with a soft thud, he’s greeted by the sight of you looking like you’re about to cry again. “Wait — “ He reaches for you, but retracts his hand; he’s not sure if he can trust himself to stay in line. His heart is beating so fast, you had just kissed him, completely out of the blue.

Satoru knew about your crush on him when the two of you were younger. You started having feelings for him when you were thirteen and he was fifteen, making it painfully obvious. You followed him and Suguru around like a lost puppy whenever he came over, despite Satoru’s constant teasing.

He thought your actions were funny at first, becoming the root of his continued teasing. Despite still making you cry all the time, you always came right back to greet him with a smile upon his very next visit. After a while, Satoru looked at you with fondness, in the way that one would gaze at a small animal. You were harmless, sweet, and so very adorable.

Satoru didn’t return your feelings at the time. You were just Suguru’s kid sister that he liked to toy with sometimes. You were awfully cute when you were mad.

But now, as you look up at him with desperation and longing, his heart clenches faintly in his chest. You’re so, so beautiful — the pictures Suguru had showed him hadn’t done you justice in the slightest. You somehow look so enchantingly gorgeous at this moment, even with tears glistening in your eyes and rolling down your cheeks.

Would you hit him if he tried to wipe away your tears?

He never gets to find out, because you speak his name softly, drawing him in like a moth to a flame. Satoru leans down to carefully listen to what you have to say. “W-Want you.”

“So good, so fuckin’ good for me, princess,” Satoru groans, reveling in the dizzying heat of your pussy as he drags his cock in and out of your walls, fucking you at a steady pace. “You feel me in there? You feel me in your little cunt?”

“Y-Yes,” you manage to sob out between moans, each rough snap of his hips into you melting your brain into jelly just a little more.

“What a perfect lil pussy,” He chuckles as you squeal after a rather rough thrust, the loud squelch of your hole sucking him in echoing through the room. “No sane person in this world would ever give this up this tight wet cunt.” You whine at his filthy words, drool dripping out of the side of your mouth as Satoru continues to ram into you, faster, harder.

“Satoru!” You’re crying out his name over and over, legs wrapped firmly around his waist, pushing him deeper and deeper. “S-Satoru, I-I — “

“You likin’ this, baby? Tell me how much you like this,” he coos into your ear, hand reaching down to rub at your swollen clit.

“I l-like it s-so much, i-it’s so ahh…! I-it’s so good,” you sob out. You never thought sex could feel like this — you never understood why the people around you were so obsessed with it, especially with the treatment you received from your ex.

Now, though, as each rut of Satoru’s dick into your cunt kisses your sweet spot, you get it. You don’t know if you’ll ever be able to forget this feeling of being filled by cock so brutally sweet.

“Hold on.” Satoru had tried to protest, he really had. You’d just broken up with your boyfriend. Like Suguru said, the last thing you needed was any funny business. “Listen — “ He sighs out your name, making your bottom lip wobble. “You have to go rest, don’t be reckless.”

“Please.” You tug at his sleeve, staring at him with that puppy-eyed look that always gets you what you want. He really had spoiled you, hadn’t he?

“Not now,” he tried to reason with you. “You’re still hurting, you’re not in the right mind.” You glare at him.

“Who’re you to say m’not in the right mind?” you whine. “I…” You suddenly seem to lose your confidence, staring down at the floor. “...I only ever wanted you.”

“What?” Satoru stares, wide-eyed, at your confession.

“Know you don’t want me that way,” you continue, voice small. “But I… don’t care.” You sniffle. “Don’t care, Satoru. Just want you.”

And when you tug desperately at his shirt again, this time, Satoru is too far gone.

“Fuck, I’m close.” He growls into your neck, his pace picking up as he chases after his release, He coaxes you to join him, thumbing at your clit and cooing for you to “Let go, cum for me, c’mon. Cream all over my cock, princess.”

The only sounds in the room are a symphony of your moans and the slick sounds of his cock pushing in and out of your hole as a coil forms deep in your gut, threatening to snap at any moment. You feel tears stain your cheeks as Satoru’s pace increases, pounding into you so deep you can practically feel him in your throat.

“S-Satoru, I’m g-gonna — !” You cut yourself off with a loud, lewd moan, cunt clenching down hard around him as you come undone for the fifth time just this night. You swear you lose consciousness for a second, lost in the euphoric feeling of your release as your swollen pussy throbs in satisfaction.

“Shit..“ A few quick, shallow thrusts later, Satoru finishes as well, thick ropes of cum splurting into your womb, filling you with a warm sensation.

“A-Ah…” you whimper out, pussy fluttering weakly around his softening cock, which is still fully sheathed inside you. A white ring remains on his dick as he gently pulls himself off of you, cum dripping from your spent pussy onto the sheets. Satoru tuts, placing a pillow under your hips so you won’t leak.

You’re only faintly aware of what he’s doing as he leaves briefly and returns with a warm, wet towel, gently asking you to open your legs for him. You obey, but you’re so exhausted you can’t help it as your eyes droop shut. The last thing you remember before falling asleep is Satoru leaning forward to peck your forehead, praising you for taking him so well.

You wake up a few hours later to sunlight streaming through your bedroom window, making you squint a little as you sit up in bed. You immediately gasp at the ache between your legs, and the soreness racing up and down your body.

Memories of the previous night come flooding back as a sleepy groan sounds from next to you. Satoru stirs, awakened by your panicked sound, asking softly, “You okay, baby?”

Oh god. Shit. Fuck. You actually had sex with Gojo Satoru.

“Hmm?” He looks a little concerned at your lack of response, pulling you against him. “What’s wrong, sweetheart? You in pain? Sorry, did my best to clean you up and everything.” Only then do you realize that the place between your thighs is no longer sticky, and that you’re wearing a fresh set of underwear with Satoru’s unbuttoned shirt wrapped around you.

“...What did we do?” You whisper in a muddled mixture of shock and amazement.

“You regret it?” he asks carefully, pulling back a little to gauge your reaction. You shake your head vehemently, snuggling back close to him. You breathe in his scent, eyes fluttering closed. You feel so right at home in his arms.

“No.” You ponder for a bit. “But it’s never gonna happen again, right?” Satoru’s breath catches in his throat.

“What?”

“I know last night might’ve given you the wrong impression.” You swallow hard, trying to contain the feelings bubbling up within you. Satoru just looks so beautiful under the morning sun, his crystal blue eyes glittering in the light. You know you’re not mistaken, you’ve never been so sure about it — you love him. “I don’t… do this. Thank you for being with me for this one night, but…” you trail off.

“Hey, hey.” You’re crying again, and this time, Satoru wipes the tears off your cheek, cupping your face between his hands. “What’re you talkin’ about?”

“Don’t want just this from you,” you continue vaguely, looking away shamefully. “But I don’t… I don’t expect you to want the same.” He stills at your words, trying to decipher them properly.

“You still in love with me?” He deciphered them spot on, but that doesn’t stop a humiliated squeak from leaving you. You’re huffing, face on fire with a mixture of frustration and embarrassment.

“F-Fine, whatever! You know already, so…” You look away, gnawing at your lower lip. “That’s w-why — “

“Don’t really know why you’re so upset, princess,” he cuts you off, pulling you out of the downward spiral he sees you’re about to fall into. “Think…” Satoru pauses to swipe at a tear at the corner of your eyes. “Still such a crybaby,” he can’t help but say, watching with amusement as you scowl at him with all the ferocity of an angry kitten.

“Ugh, jerk! Four years later and you still can’t take me seriously, God, why do I even bo — “ He cuts you off again, this time with a kiss. When he pulls away, he’s smiling gently, chuckling at your dumbfounded expression.

“Think I love you too,” he finishes. “So you’ve got nothing to worry about.” A few moments pass.

“...Are you fucking with me?” You look him dead in the eye.

“Technically, I already did,” he replies cheerfully. You look at him in disbelief. “Okay, sorry, sorry, sweetheart. Let me spell it out for you.” Satoru holds you close to him, tracing slow, comforting circles along your back. “Be my girlfriend?”

You answer him with a kiss of your own.

Suguru sighs, fishing in his pocket for his house keys as he approaches the front door. He’s worried about you; although the bastard had cheated on you and deserved to have you dump him, he knows you’re still probably heartbroken.

Or at least a little heartbroken. Suguru’s aware you never really that into your ex, if your drunk phone calls about how much you miss Satoru were enough evidence. Hiding those from his best friend was tough work; he would have to sit in the bathroom or the closet with his headphones and speak as quietly and carefully as possible to not rouse any suspicion.

Either way, he knows you definitely need some cheering up right now. He’s brought you a box of cupcakes from your favorite bakery, hoping it would be enough to at least get you in a talking mood.

Imagine his surprise when he opens the door and the first thing he sees is Gojo Satoru. Not only is Gojo Satoru standing in his kitchen, but he’s wearing Suguru’s apron, a gift from you many Christmases ago. To make things worse, he’s nearly butt naked under it, only wearing a pair of boxers that are — wait a second, are those Suguru’s as well?

“Oh hey, Suguru!” If Satoru is nervous or embarrassed, he plays it off well as he turns around and waves, flashing the stupid, faded picture of Remy from Ratatouille on his apron right in Suguru’s face. “You hungry? Was just makin’ some eggs.”

“What the actual fuck,” Suguru grits out, putting two and two together as you choose that moment to wander out into the kitchen, wearing nothing but an unfamiliar collared button down that reaches down nearly to your knees. Satoru’s.

“S-Sugu.” Your eyes go round, stopping in your tracks. No one speaks for a moment. Satoru’s still happily cooking eggs. Suguru’s expression is stone cold. You’re staring at your brother with embarrassment written all over your face.

“Baby, you ready for food?” Satoru steps away from the stove to wrap an arm around your waist, smooching you on top of your head. You make a stuttered noise under your breath, glancing back at your brother.

Suguru’s smiling now, but not in the traditional sense. He looks almost maniacal as he slowly places the box of cupcakes on the table before locking eyes with Satoru. Finally, the white-haired man has enough shame for his casual grin to falter.

“What happened to no funny business?”

Satoru is forced to abandon the stove, running away from a fuming Suguru chasing after him with the first thing he could find on the dining table — a carrot.

“Sugu, stop, it’s okay — “ Your pleas fall on deaf ears as your brother is hell-bent on finding a way to murder his best friend with a vegetable. You sigh deeply, moving to go after them when you suddenly smell something burning. Your head snaps to where the eggs Satoru was cooking are now sitting blackened over the flame.

Needless to say, the first morning with Gojo Satoru as your official boyfriend was far from perfect.

Thankfully, you would have many, many more mornings with him, each more wonderful than the last, that this one quickly faded from importance.

But not from Suguru’s.

“I still remember,” Suguru says, clearing his throat for dramatic effect. “When I opened the door on that one morning, and you were not only in my house, but you were half-naked wearing my apron and my underwear — “

Satoru groans as the audience bursts into laughter at his best man’s speech, burying his face in your shoulder. You’re giggling right along with them, sparing your new husband a peck on the cheek as his best friend continues to tear him apart.

“Then you had the audacity to pretend nothing was wrong — “

Satoru knew he would never live this down, but he had zero regrets. Not when you’re sitting right next to him in a pretty white dress holding his hand under the table.

“Well.” Suguru looks over at him, raising a brow. “Got anything to say?” Satoru takes the mic from him, face splitting into a shit-eating grin as he says two words:

“Worth it.”

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo #satoru gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo smut #jjk smut #gojo x you #reader insert #female reader #jjk fluff #gojo fluff #jjk imagines #jjk scenarios

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yeonzzzn · 3 months

Text

♣️i told you so: sim jaeyun

part two of the off limits trilogy

pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: 26.8k

synopsis: your brother and boyfriend’s constant nagging you to transfer to their college finally worked, you breaking at the soft spot you have for them and packing your whole college life into suitcases and boxes. at first you were actually happy, being with your friends again. but as time passes, jake’s past college life that was before you, unfolds and stirs up trouble. genre: established relationship, older brothers best friend!au, college life, smut, fluff, angst. warnings: swearing, multiple unprotective sex scenes, breeding kink, masturbating, fingering, alcohol, hate sex, oral (f. receiving), few toxic moments, blood mentions.

✰ this is part two to this series, please see part one under the title before reading this one. ✰

˗ˏˋseries spotify playlist´ˎ˗

His right hand gripped the wood of your headboard, using all his arm strength and using it as leverage fucking hard into you with each thrust, pushing himself as far as possible into your cunt wanting to break any barrier keeping him from actually pushing his dick into your cervix.

his free hand gripped your hand, pressing it against the bedsheets, his fingers tightly squeezing your hand.

Your lips attached to his shoulder, teeth sinking onto his skin at the pleasurable pain, your legs wrapping even tighter around his waist.

“Oh fucckkkkkk,” your boyfriend moaned, his sweat that rolled down his face dropped onto your shoulder, “Your pussy feels so good baby girl, fuck.” his hand that held the headboard started to turn white from his death grip, and his veins popping out of his arm.

The knot in your stomach snapped, your orgasm sending you even further into sexual ecstasy. Your teeth bite down harder onto his skin as your head spins, Jake letting out a groan of pleasure from your bite. The only sounds that could be heard in the bedroom were the sound of your skins connecting together, both your moans and the squeaking of your bed as Jake pounded into you with such force.

“Fuck, Y/N, I’m cumming soon,” Jake groaned, his hard thrusts getting sloppy, the grip on the headboard weakening, “Gonna fill this pussy so full of my cum, ain’t that right princess?” You nodded, head falling back down onto the pillow, eyes darting to the purple bruise left on his skin from your bite and then locking eyes with him at his fucked out facial expression.

“Hmmm going to fill you to the brim,” his thrusts slowed even more, Jake knew he was fixing to bust any moment, “Gonna breed the fuck out of you, gonna make me a daddy. fuck.”

With one final thrust and one final moan that left his lips, his seed painted your gummy walls white, his hand leaving the headboard and snaked both arms underneath you and wrapped his hands on your shoulders, slowly rolling his hips with yours pumping himself so full inside you, using your shoulders as his leverage to help keep his cock deep within you chasing his own ecstasy.

With no strength left in him, Jake drops his body onto yours, his face tucked into your neck, his hot breath sending chills down your spine and wet, sweaty hair pressing against your cheek, “I meant it when I said I couldn’t get enough of your pussy,”

You struggled to let out a giggle, loosening your legs from his waist, and tapping his back softly, “Trust me, Jake, I know. You’ve proved it more than enough.”

You felt his lips curl against your skin, “Fuck, I love you so much.”

“I love you so much more, Sim Jaeyun.”

With an exhausted groan, Jake pulled himself out of you, rolling over onto his back, chest heaving. You pushed yourself up, legs feeling like jelly, “I’m barely going to be able to walk tomorrow,”

You could basically feel Jake’s shit-eating smirk as he chuckled, “Don’t tell me that, it’ll boost my ego and make me want to fuck you again.” With a roll of your eyes, you slid off your bed, collecting your clothes that were spread around the floor.

Jake pushed himself up, eyes looking down at your bed, “Thank god we won’t ever have to have sex in this bed ever again.” You tried to not laugh, but it was true. Your good ole college bed was on its last leg enough as it was, and with the good, rough fucking Jake just gave you, it probably wouldn’t last another minute. You're surprised it lasted this long. It barely survives when Jake comes to visit you.

“Maybe when you leave your dorm key tomorrow morning, you can complain about how the dorms need better beds for you girls, no wonder your roommate always sneaks off.”

You glanced over at your roommate's bed, seeing how hers was in no better condition than yours. With a shrug, you slid your clothes back onto your body, “It’ll be her problem if she gets caught sneaking out.”

Jake finally brings himself out of the bed, stretching his arms out then scoops his clothes up in one motion, “Yet you’ve never gotten caught sneaking me in.” Which was also true. Your college had strict dorm policies, no sneaking out and no sneaking in. Obviously, the rules didn’t mean shit to yourself or the other college students. Plus your roommate wasn’t a snitch. You’d sneak Jake in, she would sneak out and off with her boyfriend. It was a win-win.

Jake wrapped his arms around you, kissing your neck, “You ready to finally be out of here?” You leaned into him, your eyes wandering around your dorm room. It was a bittersweet feeling for sure. But you’d be out of this shitty dorm and be surrounded by your brother and best friends again. The only place you’ve wanted to be since your winter vacation almost four months ago. You still couldn’t believe that Jay and Jake were able to convince you to transfer. It only took about a month to fully convince you, but you knew in the end it would be worth it.

It was finally spring break, and what better time to transfer than right now? You finally nodded, “It'll be nice to finally be around you all twenty-four-seven again.”

Jake’s heart warmed at the thought of finally having you in his bed every night instead of being a four-and-a-half-hour drive away. But the wait was worth it. He hugged you tighter, “Well, we have a long drive ahead of us tomorrow, let’s wash up and get some sleep, ya?”

A playful smile formed on your lips, “Dibs on the shower first!” you pushed your weight onto Jake, sending him back on the bed.

Jake was quick to be back on his feet chasing after you to the bathroom with the biggest smile on his face, “That’s cheating Y/N!”

After your play fight on who would shower first, you settled on taking one together, sharing that space with each other one last time.

You brushed your teeth and popped a Plan B pill into your mouth, swallowing it down, gathering the rest of your things from the bathroom, and placing them into your duffle bag. Exhaustion hit you like a truck when you finally crawled into bed beside Jake, laying your head down onto his chest as he wrapped his arms around you. Sleep came quickly.

You gave your roommate one last hug then slung your backpack over your arms and held one duffle bag between your hands. Jake walked back into the dorm, taking the last remaining duffle bag and slinging it over his shoulder, “All the boxes and suitcases are in the trunk, ready to hit the road?”

You nodded, giving your roommate one last smile before walking out of the room for the last time.

The dorm building was filled with busybodies. People pack up to head home for the week, some pack up to leave and never return(like yourself), some walk to and from their friend's dorm rooms, and some just sit out in the hallway just because. Ya know, your typical college dorm things. A lot of the girls you’ve grown to know over the last couple of years stopped to wish you well, but you knew it was to get one last look at your boyfriend.

You held your tongue as you watched them all make flirty faces and say cute “We’ll miss seeing you around!” towards him, doing it all in front of you like you weren’t even there.

Alas, all you could do was roll your eyes and keep walking forward. Your hands were filled with your bags anyway. Plus it’s not your fault your boyfriend is literally the sexiest man alive, you don’t blame the girls for looking.

Shoving the last remaining things of yours into the trunk, it was finally time to go. Jake took the driver's seat in your car, his hand immediately going to your thigh and giving it a soft squeeze, a way to reassure you that everything was going to be okay. You had to admit, you were nervous. After leaving your home and spreading your wings, this college was all you knew. So it was hard, yes. But you were turning a new page, which was also exciting.

You had fallen asleep on the way to the apartment, your new home. Being gently shaken awake by Jake, “Hey, baby, we’re home.”

Jake got way too excited saying that. It just felt so right calling it our home. A place where you’ll always return to him at the end of the day. A place to eat, sleep, and live freely together. What more could he ask for?

You sleepily yawned, stretching your arms and legs out then finally getting out of your car.

Jake opened the trunk, pulling each of your bags out one by one.

You leaned in to help, wanting to get the process moving quicker. Because let’s be honest, the worst part about moving is the packing and unpacking.

“Hey stinks!!” you cringed at the nickname, looking over to your right and seeing your brother hovering over the balcony railing waving his arms back and forth.

“God, I hope he falls.” you mumbled, “So annoyed with that nickname.”

Jake chuckled at your comment then glanced up at his best friend, “Get your ass down here Jay! We have a lot of shit to bring up! Get Hoon and Hee!”

Jay saluted him, turning on his heels and rushing back inside their shared apartment, returning with the ace and prince and forcing them down the stairs. Jay was the first to swoop you into a hug, “I’ve missed you!”

You rolled your eyes but embraced your older brother, “It’s only been a couple months, Jongseong.”

“A couple of months too many!” Jay joked, rustling his hand in your hair. You shoved him away, quickly fixing your locks back into place.

Sunghoon was next to pull you into a tight hug, “You’d think since he spent over twenty-one years with you he’d want nothing to do with you.”

“No, tell me about it, Hoon,” you said, hugging him back tightly. Sunghoon’s hugs were always your favorite. You found so much peace within them.

Heeseung was the last to pull you into a hug, “Sup stinks!”

You pinched his side, “I will not be tolerating that nickname anymore!”

Jay shrugged his shoulders, wrapping his arm around your neck, “Deal with it, you’ll be living under MY roof now. I’ll call you stinks all I want.” You tried to fight your way out of your brother's grip, begging for any of the other three boys for help. But of course, they didn’t.

Traitors. All of’em.

Jake finally started barking orders for everyone to grab some bags and haul them up into the apartment. You carried what you could, following behind Heeseung, “I’ll show you to Jake’s room, or well your room now too.”

“Please for the love of GOD force him to keep his room clean now,” Sunghoon begged, “His socks smell.”

“So do yours?!?” Jake yelled up at his friend, the only response he got was the laughter of his friends and you.

Jake rolled the sleeves up of his hoodie, cocking his head to the side, “Whose idea was it again for the four of us to move in together?”

Jay grabbed another box from the trunk, “Ours. Unfortunately, the four of us are inseparable.”

Jake nodded in agreement, “Well, the five of us now.”

Jay tried to not cringe at that fact, he’s still getting used to seeing you and his best friend together. Jay watched as his friend balanced a few boxes in his arms, the brown material yanking down the collar of his hoodie, revealing the bite mark you left on his shoulder last night.

Jay groaned and rolled his eyes, “Really man?!”

Jake narrowed his eyebrows, clearly confused as to why he was getting snapped at, “Bro, what?”

Jay flicked the tender skin, “Can’t even fucking cover it up?”

Oh, he’s still pissed that I’m fucking his baby sister.

Jake shrugged, “I can’t stop what your sister does during se—“

“No!! Stop!!” Jay quickly snapped, raising his hands up, “I don’t want to talk about your sex life.”

Jake took this opportunity to tease, “Damn, what a shame, too bad you’ll be hearing it instead of talking about it.”

Jay’s face flushed with anger, “We aren’t playing these games, Sim Jaeyun. I’ll kick your ass so fast.”

With a roll of his eyes and a slap on his friend's shoulder, Jake walked past him, “I was only teasing, let’s hurry up and get this stuff inside, I bet Y/N is dying for your cooking.”

Jay pulled the rest of the bags into his hands, following beside his best friend, “When does she not want my cooking?”

“Dude, sometimes it’s all she talks about.”

Your brother chuckled, “She was spoiled with it growing up, plus I’m a damn good cook, what can I say?”

Your spring break went by in a flash. That small week wasn’t enough to rest your mind after the move or get accustomed to your new home. You knew it would be a process, Jake reassured you that everything would fall perfectly into place once you’re used to the change.

Obviously, he’s right. You just need more time to adjust. Mostly because you completely forgot that your new roommates like to party…

You stood in the corner of the living room, one hand twirling the liquid-filled plastic red cup in your hands, while your other hand was on Jake’s necklace, your fingers twisting the double-linked pendants. The music was too loud for your liking, the voices too loud, and way too many people surrounding just the living room itself was enough to make you feel more introverted than normal. You lifted the plastic cup to your lips, eyes wandering around the house.

It’s so obvious this is a frat house.

You wanted to leave, wanted to strangle your sibling for even suggesting attending this end-of-spring break party. You finished off your alcohol, eyes staring down at the last drop as it slid back down the cup.

“You’re related to Park, aren’t you?”

You lifted your eyes, making eye contact with the random man who decided to speak to you. He has a sweet smile, his eyes and body language proving he’s just asking a question, but you kept your guard up anyway. Pretty much head to toe, he was covered in Louis Vuitton. His fingertips brushed his light brown hair out of his eyes, his smile not fading even after your long waiting response.

“You’ll need to be more specific,” you said, setting the red cup on top of the fireplace beside you, “I know a lot of Parks.”

“Jay,” he said, pointing his finger in the direction of the dining room table that sat on the far side of the living room where a cuppong game was being held. Jake, Heeseung, and Sunghoon all stood around your brother as he tossed the ping pong ball across the table, landing it in one of the cups with a slight splash of alcohol inside it. He and his friends cheering at their point.

“You look just like him, have the same nose and jaw structure.”

Fair, guess you couldn’t even try to get out of this one. The two of you did share the same nose and jawline.

So you just nodded, “He’s my older brother.”

“I could tell,” he laughed, taking a sip from the beer can in his hands, “Your facial expressions are the same too. I knew who you were from across the house.”

You couldn’t tell if that was supposed to be a dis or a compliment.

“He talked about you a lot in chem a few semesters also,” the man said, now standing beside you, leaning against the wall, “One proud big brother, that’s for sure.” You softly smiled, glancing back over at Jay as he whispered into Heeseung’s ear as he prepared to toss the ping pong ball.

“Also, I apologize, how rude of me,” he turns his body towards you, extending his hand out, “I’m Shotaro,”

You take your hand in his, giving a small shake, “I’m YN, but you probably already knew that, Shotaro.”

Shotaro chuckled, “Yeah, but it’s nice to finally put a name to the face.” You nodded, giving him a smile.

Jake glances over at you at the right time to see Shotaro’s hand tangled in yours, “Why does Osaki have his hands on our girl?” Jake said, tapping Jay’s shoulder.

Jay takes his eyes off the horrible job Sunghoon is doing at cup pong, “Looks like he’s just being friendly?” Jay shrugged it off, eyes going back to Sunghoon. Jake was in disbelief.

This man right here.

“Dude,” Jake scoffed. Jay, looking back at him with a confused look, raised his brows, “You almost killed me for just looking at your sister, but you’re perfectly fine letting Shotaro touch her?”

“Jake, they shook hands,” Jay rolled his eyes, “He’s very clearly not trying to get in her pants like you were.” Okay, fair. Point taken. “He’s a sweet kid, probably just recognized her.”

Jake knew that had to be it, but he couldn’t help but feel the pit of jealousy of some other man who wasn’t your brother or his friends, being that close to you. Without thinking, Jake’s legs were moving.

“Jake! Where are you going?!” Heeseung yelled over the loud music but decided to shrug it off since Jake wasn’t listening.

Your conversation with Shotaro kicked off well, listening as he talked about the party and the campus, and asking what brought you here to their college.

“Well,” you shrugged, “Jay and—“ You were quickly interrupted by Jake’s arms being wrapped around your waist from behind, “There you are baby,” he said, dropping his face to your neck, and planting kisses on the skin.

Shotaro quickly looked away, taking the last sip of his alcohol. He knew Jake had to have been interested in someone since he randomly stopped showing up to parties and would disappear during the weekends. Shotaro wasn’t close to Jake and his friend group, only ever really spoke to them during classes or in passing on campus or at parties.

Shotaro should’ve put two and two together that the person Sim Jake was interested in were you. If there’s one thing he did know about you and your friends, was that you five all grew up together. Of course, it made sense you’d be with one of Jay’s friends. Jake was just the last person on that list in his mind.

“Jake,” you hissed, shoving your shoulder into his jaw.

With a soft groan, he removed his lips from your neck, his eyes darting over to Shotaro, “I see you met Osaki, he’s a good kid.”

Shotaro tried to suppress himself from giving Jake an annoyed look, clearly hearing and picking up the attitude behind his tone. You, on the other hand, didn’t catch it.

“Yes, he’s been really sweet so far,” Shotaro smiled at you, giving a nod, “We were just talking about how you and Jay convinced me to move.”

Ah, of course, he was part of the reason she moved here. Should have guessed it.

“You’ll enjoy it here,” he smiled, eyes shooting daggers at Jake, “It’s a really good college for sure.”

Jake narrowed his eyes. Does this guy have a problem with me?

“Anyways,” Shotaro said, glancing down at his watch, “Sungchan is probably wondering where I am.” You gave him a soft smile and nodded, not wanting to keep him from his friends much longer, mostly now that Jake was at your side. Once Shotaro was out of sight, Jake released his arms from you.

“Want to tell me why you were acting so jealous just now?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest and you stared up at your boyfriend.

Jake sighed, “Was I that obvious?”

“Hmm” You hummed, “It was kinda cute though, at least you didn’t throw a punch this time.”

Jake chuckled at the memory of the few punches he threw at Yeonjun that one night at the bar, “You’re right, I’ve come a long way since then.”

You stood on your tippy toes and wrapped your arms around his neck, giving him a quick peck on the lips, “But there isn’t any need to be jealous, Sim Jaeyun, he was just being nice.”

Jake slowly nodded, his fingers twisting the belt loops on your jeans, “Hard to not be jealous when my girlfriend has the sexiest ass in this whole place,” he whispered, his hands leaving the loops to cup your ass tightly. You shyly pull yourself away from him, looking around to see if anyone saw.

Before you could even react, Jake had his hand in yours, pulling you off towards the hallway, “Hey, wait, where are we going?”

“Either a bedroom or bathroom,” he smirked, “I need to make out with my pretty girlfriend in a more comfortable space.” You tried to hide the smile by thinning your lips in a line, you had to admit it was kinda hot with the way he was pulling you behind him, biting his lower lip, and showing everyone at this party his intentions.

Who knew you’d enjoy being led into the closest bathroom this much. Liking the way Jake closed and locked the door behind you and lifted your body on top of the counter. Loving how pretty he looked with his lust-filled eyes, sliding his hands up your skirt and pulling your panties down as he sank to his knees, hands spreading your legs and lips attaching to your heat. Your hand attached to his hair, his eyes never leaving yours as he rubbed his tongue against your clit, two fingers slowly sliding into your cunt.

You threw your head back, biting your lip to suppress your moans. But Jake’s fingers pushed into you faster, his tongue flicking your clit faster and you failed to suppress any longer.

Your moans drowned out the music from the party, becoming the only thing Jake’s ears were able to focus on. His free hand palms himself through his jeans in the perfect rhythm of his fingers sliding in and out of you.

Jake was so in love with your pussy. You just tasted so fucking good, he couldn’t get enough. Palming himself wasn’t working anymore and struggled to unzip his jeans fast enough to pull out his pulsing cock from the clothing, his thumb spreading the precum over the tip but that also wasn’t enough. Jake lifted his hand to your face, pulling you down to look at him, his precum from his fingers spreading on your cheeks. “Spit,” he demanded, shivers sending down your spine from his breath hitting your heat.

You did as you were told, Jake losing himself even more at watching the way your saliva fell from your lips into his hand, “Good girl, so fucking dirty for me.”

You watched as Jake rubbed your spit over his cock as he moaned into your pussy, his lips attaching back to your clit, sucking on it gently as he slowly pumped himself, his fingers moving again inside you, following the same rhythm as the hand on his cock. Jake fucking loved the way your spit mixed with his precum as he fucked into his hand, it was the next best thing to having your mouth wrapped around him.

As much as you enjoyed the view and the feeling Jake was giving you, you knew you couldn’t hold on much longer. The knot in your belly threatening to snap. You rocked your hips against his face and fingers, “Jake…”

He moaned at his name being called from your lips, moving his fingers faster in you and sucking your clit harder, he knew you were fixing to cum, “Cum for me baby, make a mess on my tongue. Cum together with me.” Jake fucked into his hand harder and faster, feeling his own climax approaching. You couldn’t hold on much longer, letting the knot snap. Jake groaned a second later, cum sliding down his hand.

He pulled his fingers from your cunt, tongue licking your juices from his fingers then spread your legs further apart, his tongue pushing inside you, licking up the remaining of your cum that wasn’t on his fingers. You laid your back against the mirror, head spinning. Jake appeared in your vision, his hands reaching behind you and lifting you up and off the counter, pulling your panties back up over your hips and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, “Let’s return to the party, everyone might be looking for us.”

The alarm clock buzzed from across the room, forcing you to lift your legs and place your feet flat against your boyfriend's back, using all your strength to push him off the edge of the bed with a massive thud. Jake let out a groan from pain, “What the fuck YN,” his sleepy raspy voice said, pushing himself to his knees and leaning his sleepy body onto the edge of the bed, eyes softly closing again.

“Turn it off,” you mumbled.

“Hmm?”

“Turn off the damn alarm Sim Jaeyun!”

“Okay, fuck. Jesus fucking Christ!” Jake stumbled his way to his dresser, slapping the off button for the alarm and silence finally settled in the room.

You softly smiled as you rolled yourself in the middle of the bed, pulling the covers over your body. Jake stared down at you, his eyes raging. He walked to the end of the bed, gripping the bed sheets and yanking them off your body and the bed.

You quickly sat up, your own pit of rage filling your eyes, “What the fuck?!”

“If I have to be up, so do you!” Jake wasn’t just going to get up and get ready for the first day back to class and let you snooze until it was time for you to leave.

Granted, he was going to let you sleep peacefully until it was time for you to head off to class, but after your stunt, nah! You won’t know any peace. You glared at him, fuck I should have kicked his ass harder.

Jake took your glare as a challenge, his cock softly twitching at seeing you angry with him.

You’ve had fights before, sure. But Jake has never seen you so sleepy and pissed off at him in one emotion. He has to admit, it was kinda hot. With the way your tank top strap was sliding down your shoulder, the tank fitting so snug against your frame, and your nipples poking through the thin white fabric. The tank was short enough that it stopped right above your belly button and your night shorts rested perfectly against your hips as the silk flowered fabric bunched at the crease of your thigh.

Jake thanked any god who was listening for giving him such a devil disguised as an angel. Your eyes widened as you watched Jake slowly crawl onto the bed, his bare chest softly glowing from the rising sunlight through his curtains.

One of Jake’s hands found your shoulder, slowly pushing you back down onto the bed, his other hand touching your thigh, his fingers tracing up and stopping at the hems of your tank and pushing underneath it. His fingers grazed your nipple before cupping your breast, his face now inches away from yours.

“Jake, you have class…” you whispered, realizing he’d be late if you pushed any further into his sexual antics.

“Shhh,” his lips connected to your jawline, moving down to your neck. The hand that was on your shoulder was now down at your core, his fingers softly rubbing your folds, “It’ll be a quickie, I won’t be late.”

His fingers were now sliding your shorts and panties to the side and spreading your cunts lips wide, “Please baby,”

The way his voice was begging you made you completely soaked. How could you tell him no? Your fingers looped into his sweatpants and pulled them along with his boxers down.

—

You pulled your wet hair behind your ears as you rushed into the kitchen trying to quickly slide your shoes on, your backpack sliding down your shoulder. Your brother stood at the counter, arms crossed over his chest as his eyes were glued to the toaster.

Jay heard you open the fridge and pull a water bottle out, “What was the ruckus this morning about?”

“Hmm?” you hummed at your sibling, confused about what he was talking about.

The toast jumped from the toaster, Jay quickly pulled it onto a plate, “I heard you fighting with Jake earlier, can you pass me the butter packets from the fridge?”

You nodded, pulling it from the fridge and handing him a couple, “His alarm was going off, so I kicked him out of the bed to turn it off.”

Jay chuckled, spreading the butter onto the toast, “So that’s what the thump was, his body hitting the floor.”

Jake left about an hour ago, leaving you to quickly get ready for your classes alone. Due to the quickie you shared earlier, the bedsheets were a mess and you had to shower to clean yourself up. Cleaning the bedsheets came first, and then your shower second, and you still had a fifteen-minute drive to the campus. You were close to running late.

You took notice of how Jay finished buttering the toast, quickly reaching around him and snatching it from his hands. “Stinks, what the fuck?” he hissed, watching his breakfast being shoved into your mouth.

“I am running late, I need something to eat!” you said with a mouthful of the delicious toast. Your brother watched you grab your keys and run out the door.

He sighed, “Yeah, I also have to eat before class,” he mumbled, “I’m the one who wanted to be closer to my baby sister, her stealing my food was bound to happen.” With a roll of his eyes, Jay pulled another piece of bread from the bag and slid it into the toaster.

—

You walked quickly across campus, your new schedule in your hands. You didn’t realize how big this campus really was. The last time you were here was when Jay was first moving here. You and your parents helped him pack up and move into his dorm room, but you put into any thought that driving to the dorms and walking across campus to find the building you needed were two separate things.

Makes it worse that you and your roommates live off campus, forcing you to park in the student parking even further from where you needed to be. You wanted to call Jake and ask for help but knew you could not due to him already being in class.

You knew Sunghoon and Heeseung left the apartment way before Jake did, but you still didn’t know their schedules either. Jay was still at the apartment due to not having class until a bit later.

You stopped walking, pulling your phone from your jean pocket and scrolling to your roomie group chat, thumbs pressing against the screen as quickly as possible asking for literally anyone for help.

“You look lost,” a familiar voice called to you. You glanced up to see Shotaro, and a friend standing beside him.

“I’ll catch you later man,” Shotaro smiled at his friend whom you assumed was Sungchan, their hands connecting quickly for a shake as Sungchan walked off. Shotaro gave you a warm smile as he walked over to you, hands sliding into his jogger's pockets.

You pouted, “Is it that obvious that I am lost?”

Shotaro shook his head, looking off into the distance, “Nah, not at all.”

You pinched his bicep, earning a soft laugh from him.

“Please help me,” you pouted again, your lower lip curving downward.

You looked way too cute for Shotaro to not help you. Plus better it be him than some random guy on campus. Jay and Jake would definitely not appreciate some random dude looking at you. Shotaro reached his hand out, “Let me see your schedule.” You handed it to him, watching as his eyes scanned the paper.

“Medical Science student, huh?” he asked looking back up at you with an even bigger smile, “We have the same major.”

Hearing those words made you relax completely. Knowing you had someone to help guide you around that you were comfortable with made this all the easier.

He handed your schedule back to you, “It’s your lucky day, I am actually heading to that building now.” He tilted his head towards the direction of the building, signaling you to follow him.

As you walked side by side, you both talked about your majors. Shotaro was a year above Heeseung and almost done with college as a whole. It didn’t surprise you at how smart he was or how passionate he was with his manor. It definitely made him more cute in your eyes.

Shotaro enjoyed talking with you. You were a breath of fresh air from his friends and other classmates. It was really nice. He held the door of the building open for you, “Who do you have for genetics again? I can’t remember?” he asked, leaning over your shoulder to take a look at your schedule, “And what room number?”

You hummed as you looked at the paper, “It looks like Mr. Lockin and in room 553.”

“That’s upstairs,” he pointed towards the stairs, “My class is fortunately down here and fixing to start so I can’t walk you the rest of the way.”

You smiled at him, waving your hand, “No that is perfectly fine! You’ve helped me a lot already, thank you Shotaro.”

He gave you a nod and turned to walk down the hallway. You barely made it up three steps before the sound of his feet running echoed through the building, “Wait!”

You turned and looked at him, the biggest smile on his face, “Taro.”

You raised a brow, “Huh?”

“Taro. You may call me Taro for short.”

“You got it, Taro.” You gave him a wink and continued up the steps.

Shotaro watched and you disappeared onto the second floor before turning on his heels and going to his classroom.

Thankfully for you, most of your classes were in this science building. You had roughly thirty minutes between your genetics and molecular biology classes which also thankfully were on the second floor. You used the restroom quickly and got a bag of chips from the vending machine before walking into your molecular biology class and to your surprise, saw Taro sitting by the window. You dropped your bag of chips onto the table, sitting down across from him.

Taro tilted his head in his hands looking away from the window, his famous soft smile showing up, “Well look at that. Guess we have a class together after all.”

“I am actually really glad for that,” you said nervously, reaching your hand into your chip bag, “Since my brother and friends all have different majors, I kinda already figured I wouldn’t have any classes with them.”

Taro’s smile faded a bit, she was scared to be alone.

“At least you have me now, as a friend, of course, who also just happens to share your major. You won’t be alone, YN.” His words today knew exactly how to make you feel better. How did you get so lucky to make a friend like him and so quickly too? You offered him some of your chips, which he gladly took.

You both giggled at the small awkwardness, your eyes darting outside the window, “This campus is pretty.”

Taro met your gaze out the window and nodded, “I did tell you at the party the other day you would love this place.”

You nodded in agreement, “It’s actually so…”

Taro looked back at you to see why you stopped short in talking, seeing how saddened you looked now.

“YN?” he called for you, his eyes darting back out the window, searching frantically for what you were looking at until they placed on what it was.

Jake was standing on the sidewalk. It looked as if he just come from the Computer Sciences building. But Taro already knew that wasn’t what caught your eye in the first place. It was the two females that stood at his sides. One had their hand on his shoulder, while the other stood completely way too close to him. Jake thankfully wasn’t touching either of them. One hand was attached to his backpack strap, while the other was in his hoodie’s pocket.

What angered Taro was the shit-eating grin Jake wore. And the fact he hasn’t removed the female's hand from his shoulder. Taro looked back at you, seeing the confusion writing all over your face as well as how glossy your eyes were starting to become. Taro bit his lip, debating on whether he should tell you the behaviors and reputation your boyfriend has here or let you figure it out on your own.

He was praying that Jake has changed and left that playboy shit in the past. It was only the first day back on campus since spring break. After the winter break ended, Jake stopped attending parties, was going to your campus every weekend to visit you, and made b lines between his classes to hurry home to what he assumed would call and talk to you. Taro could also hope and pray that all that playboy shit was gone now that you’re on the same campus as him. But from what it looked like down below, nothing has changed so far.

Eventually, Jake gave both ladies a nod, and slowly removed the female’s hand from his shoulder, giving a small wave before walking away, and pulling his phone from his pocket. A second later, your phone buzzed in your pocket, taking your eyes off him and to your device, seeing his name ID.

You blinked a few times to dry up your almost tears, thumbs quickly sending a reply back to your boyfriend.

Taro sighed, “Everything okay?” He wasn't sure exactly what to say, or what to even do to help lift your spirits, but he figured just being here for you would be enough for the moment.

You nodded, “Yeah, it was just Jake. He just asked how my first day was going so far. Told him it was going well.”

It broke his heart seeing you like this. But again, he knew he couldn’t metal in your relationship.

Taro reached across the table, fingers grabbing your wrist, “Don’t let it bother you,” You just nodded. That’s when he noticed Jake’s necklace resting at your collarbones. For as long as Shotaro has known your brother and his friends, Jake never once removed that necklace from his neck. So the fact that it was now wrapped around yours, had to be proof Jake has changed. Just wait until his whores see the very necklace tied to you.

“You’re prettier than them anyways,” Taro said, earning a small smile on your lips.

“What are you even saying?” you giggled, hiding your face between your hands.

“I’m saying what I’m saying,” he laughed, “You’re prettier than those girls. Jake is a very lucky man.” Once again Taro knew exactly what to say to make you feel better.

The professor walked in, signaling the start of class.

—

The apartment was quiet except for the sounds of your and Jake’s lips connecting together. You both cuddled on the couch, arms wrapped around one another as Jake’s hand slowly slid up and down your back. Both your jeans and underwear are laid on the floor under the coffee table and a blanket covers your lower halves. Your right leg was wrapped around his waist, and he slowly pumped himself a few times inside of you to keep himself hard.

It was an exhausting day for you both and all either of you wanted was to feel connected, and what better way would that be than to softly make out on the couch while you cock warm him?

There was something just so sexy about feeling him so deep inside you this way. Slowly rubbing your tongues together as your fingers twirled in his hair and his hands rubbed your back.

Anytime you and Jake have cock warmed before, it always leads to soft sensual sex, but this time felt so different. You and Jake both didn’t feel the need to have sex right now, just wanting each other's presence and closeness.

Jake only moved when he felt himself getting soft, slowly bucking his hips to feel the friction of your walls around him. Jake absolutely loved cock warming. Like he couldn’t even begin to explain how much he loved it. Just there was something about the way your cunt hugged him perfectly.

“I love you,” Jake whispered, placing his forehead against yours, catching his breath.

Your hand slid down from his hair and cupped his face, “I love you so much.”

You were happy for this moment, after seeing those girls around Jake and needing Shotaro to cheer you up, this was exactly what you needed to end your day. Thankfully none of the roomies were around. Leaving you and Jake completely alone.

Heeseung was at work and Sunghoon had hockey practice and your brother? Hell if you knew. It was rare for you and Jake to have the apartment alone. There was always someone else home, or Jake was at work, or the four boys were all working leaving you alone. You still needed to find a job, but finding one in an unfamiliar place was hard. Which made you grateful for Jay not forcing you to get a job so quickly.

Jake attached his lips back to yours, kissing you so sweetly and softly. That was until the front door busted open.

You and Jake froze, staring into each other's eyes with the fear of how you were fixing to get caught on the couch. You knew it was your brother, it was too early for the other two to come home. Jake quickly pulled the blanket over your heads, “He’s going to fucking kill me.”

It was one thing for Jay to know Jake was banging his little sister, but it’s another thing to get caught doing it. Trust, Jake learned that the hard way the first time. You went to shush your boyfriend, only for the shuffling of feet down the hall to stop you. Because it wasn’t just Jay’s feet, there was another pair.

“Oh, fuck,” Jay breathed out, “Such a slut for this cock, ya?”

A female's voice hummed and followed the sound of their lips smacking together, feet continuing to shuffle across the floor. You and Jake stared at each other wide-eyed. Ain’t no fucking way my brother just brought a girl home.

You both sat still until the sound of your brother's bedroom door opened and closed.

“What the fuck?!?” Jake mouthed, slowly pulling the blanket down from over your heads, seeing the coast was clear. Jake slowly pulled out of you, letting you get up first to pull your panties and jeans back over your hips as Jake did the same. The two of you sat in silence at hearing your brother in the other room. Jake found this way too hilarious while you were completely embarrassed.

“Is this how my roommate felt when she’d return to the dorms but-“

“But heard me fucking you into the next dimension? Yep. More than likely.” Which is exactly why Jake found this so hilarious. It was just coming back at him full circle.

And then the apartment fell silent again and Jay’s door opened slowly. Jay turned the corner of the wallway, stopping dead in his tracks at seeing the two of you sitting on the couch.

“Whatchu doing in there buddy?” Jake teased. You thinned your lips into a line to stop yourself from laughing. Okay, maybe Jake was right in this being a little funny.

The only thing Jay had on was his basketball shorts, his hand rubbing on his bare chest while the other ran through his dyed blonde hair.

“Uhhh…” was all your brother could let out. His thumb pointed behind him to his bedroom, “How long have you guys been home?”

Jake crossed his arms, a smirk playing so wide on his lips, “We were home WAY before you man.”

Jay’s eyes looked between you and Jake, “Where?”

“On the couch, the entire time.”

Jay narrowed his eyes, “But I didn’t see either of you.”

Jake grabbed the blanket you both were using earlier in his hand and lifted it up.

“On the fucking couch?!” Jay snapped, his embarrassed expression leaving and replacing it with anger.

“Oh no no,” you chimed in this time, “We weren’t doing anything, just cuddling until you and…whoever came home.” And his embarrassment came back. Oh, Jake was loving this. It wasn’t every day seeing Jay get like this.

See, all four boys were used to each other bringing females in and out of the apartment. But they had rules set in place to keep moments like this from happening. The major rule was to make sure no one else would be in the apartment. Shoot a text, look for their cars in the parking lot of the apartment complex, double check work and sports schedules.

Of course, they were allowed to sneak their quick fucks in while everyone was at home, but it at to be while everyone was sleeping, and not a peep could be heard. The rules didn’t change once you moved in, it would just have been harder for the other three boys to bring home a girl since you were pretty much always at the apartment.

“Seongie!!~” the girl Jay brought home sang, her appearing behind him wearing his tee shirt and sweatpants. She also stopped short, seeing that others were home. And oh man was this rich. The girl Jay brought home was the female from earlier today who had her hand on Jake’s shoulder.

“Naurrr way!” Jake clapped his hands, his Australian accent coming out thicker with his excitement, “I didn’t think you’d work this fast girl.” She half smiled, hiding behind your brother.

You couldn’t hold in your chuckle, seeing this made you feel ten times better about earlier. All those girls wanted was your brother's attention and used your boyfriend to get it. If this situation couldn’t get any better, Sunghoon trailed into the apartment, his duffle bag and skates hanging from his hand while his hockey stick was clenched in the other, hair completely a mess and sweaty from his helmet.

He kicked his shoes off at the door to turn around and see the sight before him. Jay, who was basically naked standing in the hall leading to their bedrooms with a girl he had no idea who she was. You and Jake sat on the couch, arms crossed and smirks on your faces.

Sunghoon couldn’t help but look between the four of you, fully understanding what happened, “What the actual fuck,” was all he could sigh out, being too tired to fight at the moment.

“I ummm…I’m going to change and leave,” the female said, quickly making her way to Jay’s room and leaving back in the clothes she came from and out the door.

Jake had to bite his lips to keep from laughing, mostly at Sunghoon’s annoyed and tired expression.

“We have rules,” Sunghoon mumbled with a groan, hanging his head low.

“I know that!” Jay rolled his eyes, “I didn’t see either of their cars parked in front and assumed no one was home.”

“Could have texted our group chat,” Jake said, raising his hands in a shrug, clearly still teasing the older.

Your brother had enough, turning around and walking back to his room with a slam of his door. Damn, he must be very embarrassed.

Sunghoon sleepily dragged his feet to the hallway, dropping his bag in front of his bedroom door, “Has anyone eaten yet?” he asked loud enough for Jay to hear him in his room, opening the door and throwing his duffle bag and skates by his dresser, “Can we order take out?”

“Already on it!” Jay yelled from his room.

“Good,” Sunghoon mumbled, now seating himself in the solo recliner chair, propping his feet up, “Least he could do for getting caught fucking.”

Jake and you couldn’t hold in your laughter anymore. It was funny how the tables turned.

—

The weekend finally came and instead of having a relaxing bath with a book in your hands to celebrate your surviving your first official week at your new college, you found yourself standing between your brother and boyfriend with Sunghoon and Heeseung standing in front of you, loud music filling your ears and lights from the club glowing from every angle.

You have to always remind yourself that these boys lived a different life than you. They were all popular on campus and from what you remember seeing on Jay’s Instagram stories almost every weekend was him and the three stooges at some party, club, or bar. You should have expected nothing would have changed after you moved in. Yeah, Jake stopped attending these events after winter break to travel all those hours just to see you on the weekends, but now that you’re living under the same roof, it only made sense that the parties would continue.

“Let’s get fucked up!” Heeseung cheered, handing everyone a shot glass.

“We all have work in the morning shit head!” Sunghoon yelled over the music, “Not too fucked up tonight!”

Heeseung shrugged him off, holding the glass up, “CHEERS BITCHES!”

You all clanked the glasses and swallowed the liquid.

“ANOTHER!” Heeseung shouted, slapping his shot glass onto the bar counter, “Another round for me and my friends please!” he asked the bartender, who widely smiled and replied with a ‘got it, boss’. Heeseung handed the new round of shots to everyone, clanking the glasses and downing the liquid.

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

You could tell Jake was starting to feel the buzz by the way he sloppily wrapped his arms around your waist and nuzzled his face into your neck, “You’re the sexiest woman in this whole place.” he said, placing kisses up your neck and to your cheek. You leaned your head into him as he swayed you both back and forth to the beat of the music.

Sunghoon ordered another round of shots. Didn’t he say to not get fucked up?

Jake released you from his hold and took the shot down quickly. He snaked one arm around you, his hand sliding into the back pocket of your jeans, giving your ass a soft squeeze.

The boys started talking about how their week back to class was shit and who was in which class and who had which professor. You tuned it out, being that you were the only one who wasn’t studying the same thing as they were. The four of them really took not being separated at the hip seriously. You let your eyes wander around the club, recognizing a few people you’ve seen on campus or in your classes, barely tuned into the people around you, clearly now feeling buzzed yourself.

“Jakey!”

Who the fuck.

“Hey!” Jake answered back, darting your eyes at the female now standing in front of your boyfriend, “It’s been a minute!” You clocked the way he was being friendly and the way she was batting her eyes at him.

Her hand reached up and touched his shoulder, “It’s nice seeing you back out at parties again!” You raised your brow, scooting yourself closer to Jake, your bodies now touching and Jake’s arm around you pulling you in tighter.

“Yeah, I took a little break for a bit.” he chuckled. Took a break? Is coming to see me called taking a break??

She rubbed her hand on his shoulder, “What to hit the dance floor with me?” she blinked her eyes up at him, hinting she wanted more than just some dance.

“Who are you again?” you asked, stretching the side of your head.

Jay looked over at the perfect time to see the annoyed look on your face and the girl's hand on Jake’s shoulder.

Oh, shit.

The girl giggled, but not in a giggling cute way, but the bitch who do you think I am kinda way. “And you?” she scoffed, eyeing the way Jake had his arm wrapped around you.

“I’m his girlfriend.”

Jay felt his heart sink, slowly turning his body to fully face the three of you. He’s never seen you get like this over someone and needed to be ready for anything. Your tone of voice was enough for Jay to sober up.

The female scoffed, eyeing between Jake and yourself, “Wait you’re serious?”

Jake sighed, squeezing your hip, “Yeah, this is YN, my girlfriend.” Oh, you didn’t like the way he said that.

Jay stepped in after that, “Yeah our Jake finally settled down!” he said with a laugh, removing her hand from Jake’s shoulder and giving him a stern look.

“That’s a first for Sim Jaeyun,” she baffled, turning on her heels and walking away, “Guess I have to find another person to satisfy me now.”

“Excuse me?!” you snapped, taking a step forward.

“Woah woah woah,” your brother stepped in front of you, hands on your shoulders and Jake’s index finger looped into your jeans back pocket to pull you back, “She’s not worth it, YN, breathe…please.”

You took a deep breath, eyes darting to your boyfriend, “Satisfy her? How many times?”

“Baby, what?” Jake asked, his fingers tightening on your pants and pulling you closer to him.

“How many times have you fucked her, Jake?”

Heeseung choked on his beer, coughing at the sudden drop of that question.

Jake stared into your eyes, trying to find the right words, “Only a few times?”

“Only a few times?” you raised your brow, “The way she was talking didn’t seem like a few times.”

Jake didn’t want to talk about his past sex life before you. It was the past for a reason. You were all that mattered now, none of the other women in this world mattered or compared to you. If he wasn’t already so buzzed from the alcohol in his system he’d be able to explain everything so much better to you.

“Hey,” Sungchan said, nodding his head behind Shotaro, “Isn’t that yo girl over there?”

Taro raised a brow in confusion but turned around nonetheless to see who he could be speaking of, his eyes landing on you. You looked upset and hurt. Taro could see the way you spoke to Jake and how he answered back that something was clearly wrong. And Shotaro could only guess what the problem could be. He shrugged, turning back around in his chair and tilting his beer bottle to his lips, “She ain’t my girl.”

“That’s right because Sim has her wrapped around him.” Taro clenched his jaw at that, taking another look at you and Jake and the frustration that was not only on your face but also on Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon as the five of you talked amongst each other. “You like her, don’t you?” Sungchan asked, nudging Taro’s shoulder.

Shotaro wasn’t sure how to answer that question. He thought you were cute, and funny and enjoyed being around you, sure. But you are a taken woman, and who was he to step in the middle of that just because he may or may not have feelings towards you? You are a friend, and that’s where it’s sitting.

“I don’t,” Taro finally answered, taking another sip of his beer, eyes not leaving you.

Eventually, Jay placed his hands on your shoulders, pulling you towards him and walking you away from the others and out the doors of the club. What a great big brother.

Jake sat down on the bar stool and cupped his face between his hands. The world was spinning and the thought of you being pissed at him made the world spin that much faster, making him dizzy.

“Man,” Sunghoon said, tapping his shoulder, “Should wear a sign that says “I am a taken man” above your head so everyone else gets the point. But on a real note, you have to make it better known to your past hookups. You did kinda just drop off the face of the earth to everyone but us after winter break.”

Jake knew his friend was just teasing him, but Hoon’s words still stung nevertheless. He also knew Hoon was right, he did just stop showing up to parties and was even skipping class on most days just to spend extra time with you. The last thing Jake wanted was his past life to mix with his current one. And he knew it needed to change.

You spent that night cuddled up against your brother. Laying your head on his back and arm wrapped over him, his hand held yours tight to his chest. Jay always knew what to do to help make you feel better. Your very first major breakup, he sat on the floor at your bedside and held your hand the entire night until you stopped crying and fell asleep.

He used to tell you all the time that he remembers the first memory of you that his little brain was able to recall. Jay said you both were sitting on the couch with your mother. She held Jay as he held you. He remembers just sitting there, looking down at you, and his whole life changing even at that young age. You were so innocent and small and needed protection, the protection that only a big brother could give. And that was the day he swore to protect that smile he holds so dear. You are everything to him, after all.

And Jay kept his word. Always being there with every heartbreak, every bad grade on a test, always right there ready to fight any bully that would pick on you, when you almost fell off the old trampoline as kids and Jay broke his arm in the process of catching you before you fell even though he’s the one who crashed arm first into the ground. All in the name of keeping you safe.

You woke up that morning still lying on Jay’s back, his hand holding onto your pinky finger, slight snores leaving his lips.

The apartment was quiet for the most part except for the shuffling of Heeseung and Sunghoon’s feet in the kitchen as they got ready for work and walked out the front door. You lifted your head and peeked over your brother's shoulder, seeing that it was now nine a.m. Jake should already be at work, Heeseung and Sunghoon just left, and Jay had to be awake in the next thirty minutes for work as well. Meaning you’d have the apartment to yourself today.

Thirty minutes flew by and Jay’s alarm was blasting. You quickly pretended to still be asleep, not ready for him to ask you about last night just yet. You felt him shift in the bed, slowly release your pinky from his hand, and slide off the bed. He dragged his bare feet around his room, opening and closing his drawers and walking out of his room. The next sound you heard was the shower being run and Jay whistling his favorite song. Soon enough he was back in his room grabbing his phone and work shoes. He pulled the blanket up to your chin, tucking your hair behind your ear.

“I love you, little sis,” he whispered, “Don’t be too hard on yourself or Jake, things take time.” You tried hard to not move, to not jump into his arms and cry into his chest and beg him to not go to work today, that you needed your brother here. He always knew the right things to say. Jay pulled a few more strands of your hair behind your ear then walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Once you heard the front door close, you slowly sat up. Feeling the weight of pain from last night really hit you now that you were alone. You slowly slid out of your brother's bed, carefully making it for him and exiting his room. You walked down the hall and into the living room, stopping abruptly to see Jake hunched over on the couch. His hands were on the back of his neck and elbows on his knees as his head hung low, body rocking back and forth.

Jake was still in the clothes he wore last night, his shoes kicked under the coffee table with pillows and blankets thrown on the other side. It was obvious your boyfriend slept on the couch instead of your shared bed.

“Why are you home?” as much as you didn’t want to talk to him right now you knew you couldn’t avoid him either. You’d eventually have to talk about it. Your voice startled him, him quickly bringing his hands to his chest, ripping the shirt.

Jake took a few deep breaths before answering you, “I called out of work,” you could tell by his voice how tired he was, that he hadn’t slept at all actually.

Your heart broke for him, seeing him like this, “You could have slept in the bed…” you said softly.

Jake was quick to shake his head as he slouched on the couch, “How could I have slept in our bed without you? How could I sleep when you weren’t there with me?” Well, it doesn’t look like you’ve gotten any sleep either way.

You looked down at your bare feet, debating on either returning to your brother’s room or sitting on the couch with your boyfriend.

“Baby, please,” You looked up at him, seeing the way his eyes were starting to gloss over, pleading with you, “It was only a couple of times and I cut her off so fast and way before winter break even happened.”

Which was true. Jake, putting it truthfully, got bored with her. Before you, Jake couldn’t stand clingy bitches and that’s exactly what she was. Only hit him up when some other dude couldn’t hit it right and would stick around hours afterward trying to get to know his friends and cling to him the whole day. It was exhausting. Jake only used the sex as a way to keep himself busy if he was being honest. It never meant anything. Nothing meant anything until he met you.

“I don’t give a damn about her, never did. You are all that matters. You’re everything to me. Baby, I can’t take you being mad at me it fucking kills me.” You looked away from him, feeling maybe you were too harsh on him. It was all before the two of you anyway. Your fingers traced his necklace, dropping it to your collarbone. Your feet started moving towards him.

Jake sat up straight, arms reaching out for you as you climbed into his lap. His arms found their home wrapped around your waist as yours did around his neck. He nuzzled his face into your neck, kissing the skin and softly whispering “I am so so sorry baby,” in between the kisses and wrapping his arms even tighter around you.

Jake was a mess and his lack of sleep was making him even more emotional about this situation. He tried to sleep, he really did. But the bed felt too big with your body missing. Even the couch felt too big without you pressing against him with his head on your chest listening to the sound of your heart beating to put him to sleep.

Jake’s hold on you got tighter and a small hiccup escaped from his lips. “Hey, no no,” you whispered, pulling back far enough to cup his face and place your forehead to his, thumbs rubbing his cheeks, “I am right here, it’s okay.”

“I can’t do this without you,” he said, biting his lip, “You’re everything.”

You lifted his face up for his lips to meet yours, kissing him softly, “I love you.”

Jake deepened the kiss, his hands now resting at your hips, “Baby, I am so stupid in love with you.”

You smiled against his lips, feeling his fingers slip under your shirt. You felt him get hard underneath you, giggling as he pulled your shirt over your head. He was obviously tired. His kisses were sloppily and the way he ran his hands over your body so softly was another tell that he was barely holding on. Exhaustion hit Jake so hard after you crawled into his arms, but feeling your touch was enough to make him hard and want you badly regardless of how tired he was from his sleepless night.

“Babe,” you whispered as his fingers unclasped your bra, disregarding it to the floor, hands returning to cup your breasts, “You’re exhausted, you need rest.”

“Shhh,” he hushed, thumbs slowly rubbing over your sensitive nipples, “Have sex with me, I want to feel connected to you right now.”

You smiled at him, your fingers reaching for the buttons of his jeans, unclasping it and helping him slide them down to the floor, lifting yourself up and removing your own shorts and panties. Jake lined himself up with your entrance, letting out soft moans as you slid down on him filling you up completely. You slowly rolled your hips against him, his gasps from the pleasure sending chills down your body.

Soft makeup sex became one of his favorite types of sex. The intimacy of it made his heart feel so warm and full. You wanted to make him feel good, mostly after the night you clearly could see he had. You lifted yourself and softly bounced on his cock, his hands squeezing your hips and biting his bottom lip. Jake’s mind was lost in a daze at the sensation, his eyes trailing to his necklace and how it bounced against your skin.

You lifted up ready to slide back down on him, when his lips attached to your nipple, his tongue rubbing against it. Your fingers found their way into his hair, your back arching, and his hands holding onto your lower back, giving him even more access to your tits.

His mouth went to work on your nipple, his teeth biting down softly on it, wrapping his lips around your skin and slightly sucking. Your jaw went slack, hips rolling against him.

“Bounce on my cock baby,” the vibrations of his voice against your tit sent more chills down your body, your pussy clenching around him. You bounced on him again, his mouth not leaving your tit.

The way his cock was hitting your g-spot as his mouth sucked on your nipple was edging you closer to your organism. Jake knew you were close to cumming by the way your pussy clenched around him, he too wanted to cum. Usually, he would last longer or want to last longer, but his exhaustion was getting worse by the minute.

Finally removing your tit from his mouth, he laid back against the couch, hands squeezing your hips and fucked up into you. His thrusts were sloppy but felt so good nevertheless. His lips found yours again, moaning into your mouth as his load pumped inside you, your organism following right after.

Jake hung his head back on the couch, breathing heavily, “Your pussy feels good even when I am this exhausted.”

You slid him out of you, standing up and pulling your clothes back on your body, “Jake, babe let’s go to bed, ya? You need sleep.”

Jake slowly nodded, pulling himself from the couch and pulling his boxers over his hips. You picked up his shoes and jeans, taking his hand in yours and leading him to your shared room. Jake was asleep the minute his head hit the pillow and arms were wrapped around you with your head on his chest.

—

Shotaro kept looking at you throughout the class. Watching the way your hair fell in your face when you’d look down to write something in your notebook. Noticing how you’d sigh every ten minutes or so when your eyes would dart out the window. You seemed in a better mood than over the weekend, and from what he noticed from your Instagram account when you tagged Jake in a post on your story, it was obvious the two of you made up.

But he could still see that small amount of hurt in your eyes with how you’d look out the window as if waiting to see Jake walk out of class with a female attached to him. Taro pulled his phone from his pocket, trying to hide his phone the best he could under the table.

Your phone vibrated in your pocket, your eyes slowly looking up to Taro, his head tilting down to signal to answer your texts.

Taro: everything okay? You looked back up at him, he gave you a soft smile. You: yes, just peachy! Taro: yn…I know you’re not.

You bit your bottom lip. You might not have known Shotaro for very long, but you got close quickly. It surprised you how he knew how your emotions worked already.

You: just had a fight with Jake over the weekend, everything is fine now. I promise :) Taro: it’s still bothering you though, isn’t it?

You didn’t know how to respond. Mostly because of course, it did. You understood Jake’s sex life before you wasn’t any of your business. But that still doesn’t mean it hurt any less, more so because his hookups don’t seem to know he’s a taken man now. Hinting why they are all over him still. Jake removed all of them from his Instagram and blocked them completely and set his account to private, which yes made you feel better, but why did it all still bother you? You have him in the end and he’s literally in love with you.

Taro: you start your job at the campus library today right? why don’t we hit up the campus cafe and get some coffee before you go? it’ll cheer you up.

You smiled, shoving your phone back in your pocket and giving him a nod. You haven’t gotten to try the famous cafe yet. Mostly since right after classes were finished for the day you’d always just head home or wait for your brother and the three stooges at either your favorite picnic table by the art building since it had so many pretty statues and art pieces around the area, or in the cafeteria for a quick lunch together before everyone went to either sport practices or their jobs and you home. But obviously, now that would change. You finally got hired at the campus library thanks to Shotaro. He saw the ad for it on the bulletin board in the main office and knew you’d be great at it.

Shotaro sat across from you at the table, handing you the coffee he told you would be a surprise, with a strawberry cheesecake.

“These two are the best in this cafe,” he said, watching as you look at the coffee, twirling it in your hands.

“What is it?” you asked. You weren’t exactly picky when it came to coffee, but you definitely were more on the sweet side of coffee than the strong and bitter side.

Taro just smiled, digging his fork into the strawberry cheesecake, “Just try it, you’ll love it I promise.”

You noticed he got the same drink as you, figuring it had to be good if he liked it this much. You placed the straw between your lips, slowly taking in the cold iced coffee. You hummed in enjoyment, it was only an iced mocha, but it was damn well the best iced mocha you’ve ever tasted.

Taro smiled even more, taking a sip of his mocha and then shoving the cheesecake in his mouth, “I told you so!”

You rolled your eyes at your new best friend, “Yeah yeah, shut up.”

It was your turn to try the cheesecake, reeling in pure bliss at how wonderful the pastry tasted. Shotaro was right, you had to admit that. After a couple more laughs, the cheesecake was nonexistent.

Taro sat back in his chair, a serious look now on his face, “Want to tell me what happened with you and Jake at the club?”

You squeezed your straw between your fingers, “How do you know about that?”

He shrugged, “Sungchan and I were also there. We saw the two of you fighting and Jay leaving with you.”

You just slowly nodded, “I found out about one of his past hookups, she came up to him while we were at the bar and had no clue who I even was.” Shotaro felt his body tense, he knew it was only a matter of time before one of Jake’s whores dared to approach him with you wrapped around him.

“YN…”

“I get it was from his past and was before me, so you don’t have to say that.”

Shotaro leaned forward, “I wasn’t going to say anything like that.”

You felt bad for snapping at him. You’ve had this conversation with Jay on the drive home from the club that night and thought Taro was on that track.

You sigh, dropping your face in your hands, “I’m sorry, Taro. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“YN, I get it, okay? It hurts and it sucks.”

You nodded, feeling his hands tear away from your face to look at him, his famous soft smile being the first thing you saw.

“I obviously don’t want you to get hurt, but it’s going to keep happening,” Shotaro didn’t know why he was telling you what he was fixing to, but he felt this need to protect you, “Jake was…well is, a very popular guy. He used to have his arm wrapped around a different girl every day. Multiple make-out sessions back to back at parties.”

You shrugged, already figuring that did happen. You’ve seen Jay’s Instagram stories before winter break happened, and you knew Shotaro wasn’t lying to you. But still hearing it ached in your chest. The four boys you’ve grown up with already had their fair share of girls even before they graduated. They were all good-looking guys. You’ve even had your fair share of one-night stands and hooking up with the same guy a couple of times. But the moment you moved in things seemed to have changed. The boys respected you and weren’t having many hookups, but maybe that was just because you were always at the apartment or they were too busy watching you like a hawk at parties.

“Taro, I appreciate you looking at me,” you softly said, smiling at him.

“Of course, just…don’t let the other females get to you. I know it will hurt, but eventually, they’ll take the hint.”

You nodded, checking the time on your phone, “I have to go, thank you for the coffee and cheesecake. It really did make me feel better.”

Taro watched as you stood up, leaning over to grab your things, Jake’s necklace shining from the sunlight hitting it. And all he could do was pray Jake doesn’t fuck up.

—

The rest of the week went by like normal for the most part. Your job came easy to you. It was mostly just returning the books to their respective shelves, which honestly was the hardest part of figuring out the layout of the library and which book type goes where. But you got the hang of it quickly.

You spent the first few couple nights doing nothing but studying the map of the library. You sat on the floor between the coffee table and couch with Jake’s legs on either side of you, your eyes scanning every inch of the map. His fingers brushed through your hair and left kisses on your cheek, whispering how proud he was of you.

Today's shift was until closing, meaning you’d get back to the apartment late. Thankfully you weren’t by yourself. Another student who was in the physical therapy program with Heeseung. He’s a little cutie and his smile made you want to punch his dimpled cheeks.

“There’s quite a few RTS (return to shelf) at the front desk that need to be taken care of,” Jungwon said with a stack of books in his hands, “Do you mind doing it? I have to inventory these before we close up for the night.”

You nodded, “Yeah, of course, anything I can do after RTS?” There were still two hours before the library closed.

Jungwon set the stack of books down, fiddling with the keys in his pocket, handing them to you, “Lock up the study rooms on the second floor?”

You nodded again, “You got it won.”

He gave you his dimple smile, slapping the stack of books, “Off I go, wish me luck.” You wished him luck, watching him walk to the back office.

You walked around the library, gathering all the books off the desks and tables and then the ones at the front desk. One by one you returned each book to its home on the shelf, running up the stairs to double-check the study rooms, seeing they were empty and closing and locking them up. You checked your watch, there was a little over an hour left.

As you walked down the stairs, your eyes met with a pair of eyes staring back at you from the service desk, his smile so wide you could have sworn that the sun was still shining.

“Hey baby!” your boyfriend coos, leaning his elbows on the desk, “How much longer until you’re mine?”

You smiled up at him, “Only an hour, why are you here?”

He smiled even wider, “The new Lego Marvel set came out.” You rolled your eyes, you should have known.

Jake lifted the Lego bag from the floor, setting it on the desk, “Heeseung doesn’t know yet, so don’t tell him. Gonna surprise him tomorrow, we are going to build it together.”

You looked at him with endearment, his smile warming your heart, “I’ll keep the secret,” you gave him a wink, “But why did you go buy legos and then come back to the campus?”

“I wanted to see you,” Jake said, reaching for your hand, his thumb rubbing your palm.

You giggled at him, “You’ll see me at home,”

“I didn’t want to wait,” his smile only made you fall even harder for him than you already were. It was true, the whole time he was at the Lego store all he wanted was to have you by his side, helping him pick out a box. Jake even found these cute keychains of half hearts so when you connect them together the heart is completed. How could he not have gotten them?

“Can I see your keys?” He said letting go of your hand and lifting his palm upwards.

You raised a brow at him, “Why…??”

“Park YN, let me see your keys.”

You gave him a look as you reached for your purse from under the desk, pulling the keys out and handing them to Jake. You watched as he pulled a keychain from his hoodie pocket, connecting it to your key between the apartment key and your car key. He dangled the keys in front of you, showing the Lego half heart, “I have one too,” pulling out his own keys, “We are matching, and they connect together.” If you weren’t at work you’d kiss him right now.

“Jake, this is so sweet. Thank you, babe.”

Jake places your keys back in your hands then reaches up and rubs his thumb against your cheek, “I’ll see you when you get home, have a good rest of your shift.” You nodded, your eyes not leaving him as he walked out of the library with his Lego bag.

You did a final walk around the library, cleaning up any other books or trash. The library doors opened, and a group of girls walked in. Which annoyed you, there were thirty minutes left until it was time to leave, but unfortunately, you had to let them in. It would just be another mess to clean up later. What annoyed you more was hearing the voice of that girl from the club that one weekend.

“Well well, fancy seeing you again,” her annoying ass voice said as she walked over to you at the service desk, “So you do attend this college, I was thinking it over on how Jake could have possibly started dating someone from another campus.”

You narrowed your eyes at her, “I transferred here over spring break.”

She giggled, “How did the two of you meet? How did you manage to bag something all the girls on campus want?”

You tilted your head at her, getting more annoyed, “We’ve known each other our whole lives,” you spat, “he’s my older brother's best friend. I’ve seen Jake grow up.” You didn’t know why you were telling her this information, but something about rubbing it in her face that you’ve known him your whole life and were able to bag the shit out of him, and seeing the look on her face while you said it satisfied you so much.

“Ahh,” was all she could say, “You’re Jay’s little sister, that makes so much more sense. I knew you looked a little familiar. You have your brother’s nose.” So I’ve been told multiple times.

You just stared at her, imagining what it would look like if your fist connected to her all-too-perfect nose.

“Anyways,” she sang, “I was looking for a book,”

“We are closing soon,” you snapped.

She hummed, giving you a smirk, but then her smile faded when her eyes saw Jake’s famous necklace around your neck. It was your turn to smirk, your head being held high, you won this match. “He’s…good in bed, isn’t he?” Excuse the fuck out of me???

You laughed, “Excuse you?”

“You heard, little miss Park,” oh you wanted to snap her neck, “He’s good in bed.” You balled your first and her friends giggled. “Has he hit it from behind?” You furrow your eyes, what kind of question was that? Of course, Jake has railed you from behind, multiple times. What is this bitch getting at? You just looked at her, anger set ablaze.

“Word of advice, he loves fucking while spooning, BUT your hands have to be in his hair, pulling it. Drives him crazy, never seen a man cum so fast.”

That was it. You lost your cool. You started to walk around the service desk, but Jungwon’s hands were there to wrap around your wrist, pulling you back. All the girls smirked. Jungwon hissed at them to leave, following directly behind them and locking the doors. You fell to the floor, legs way too weak to stand straight anymore. Jungwon was at your side, helping you up, “Don’t mind them, they harass any female that has caught Jake, Heeseung, Sunghoon, and your brother's attention.” Damn, my whole family? No wonder that bitch had it out for you. You were living the dream she wished she had.

Jungwon let you leave early, comforting you that he’d be okay locking up alone. You were going to ignore it, ignore them. But you found yourself snatching your phone and dialing a number.

“Hello?” Taro’s sleepy, raspy voice answered. He was asleep, and now you felt bad waking him.

“Oh never mind, I am sorry I woke you.”

“No no no!” you heard the rusting of his bed sheets, “What’s wrong? I can hear it in your voice.” And you lost it. The wall you’ve held up to keep from crying ever since you first started noticing the kind of attention Jake was getting finally broke. The tears streamed down your voice. “YN, where are you?” Taro said quickly jumping from his bed, pulling his sweatpants over his boxers, and slipping his shoes on.

You shook your head, “No, I just needed to hear a comforting voice.” You don’t know why Shotaro was the first person you thought of to call. Maybe because you knew if you called your brother, Sunghoon, or Heeseung, they would beat Jake into the next year.

“YN, princess, what happened?”

You softly smiled at the pet name, “Princess huh?”

Shotaro sighed, pinching his fingers on the bridge of his nose, “That just slipped out, I am so sorry.”

You giggled, “No it’s fine. It’s all innocent.”

Shotaro stared off into blank space, Jake would one hundred percent kill him if he knew he called his girlfriend princess.

“Anyway,” he cleared his throat, “Please tell me what happened?”

You didn’t expect to, but you did. You spilled everything. He leaned against his bed frame, listening to you speak. His hand rubbed his forehead in frustration. Shotaro tried his best to help you with that situation, telling you to just ignore them, that you deserved better than that. You just shrugged your shoulders, saying the situation is just shitty and that it is what it is.

“Hey,” he said, “Why don’t you come help me at the school’s fair tomorrow? I know it’ll be Saturday and you probably have plans but, you could help me run the sciences booth.”

You agreed, knowing that Jay works tomorrow, Sunghoon is going home for the weekend to see his family and Jake has plans with Heeseung. You had nothing else to do anyway.

The drive home went quickly, and if you’re being honest, you don’t remember how you got up the stairs and into the apartment. But you were now standing in the doorway of your shared room with Jake. He was asleep, soft snores leaving his lips. Pieces of his dark hair fell into his eyes. Arms stretched out in front of him as he slept on his side.

You smiled at him. You knew none of this was his fault. That those girls being that way towards you wasn’t under his control. You closed the door behind you, sliding your work clothes off your body. That girl's words played on repeat in your head. It bothered you to no end.

Jake has spooned fucked you before in terms of trying to be quiet during his visits when your old roomie didn’t go sneak off to her boyfriend. But it hasn’t happened since. There hasn’t been a need to. Jake and you could have any type of sex you wanted and not worry about a damn thing. There wasn’t any need for that sneaky sex.

But it kept running through your mind. And honestly, you wouldn’t mind being cuddled fucked at the moment. You unclasped your bra and slid your underwear down, slowly walking to your shared bed. The endearment you felt for him watching him sleep peacefully made you feel all warm. Your fingers softly push his hair out of his face.

“Hmm,” he hummed, feeling your touch, “You’re home?” his raspy voice whispered, him not opening his eyes.

“Hmm,” you hummed back, lifting his right arm up so you could climb in. Once you were settled on the bed and under the covers, his hands wrapped around you, feeling your naked body.

“Fuck baby,” he whispered in your ear, his hands cupping your breast, “Why are you naked?” you could feel his cock hardening just by feeling your bare skin.

“I just wanted to surprise you,” you whispered back, rolling your ass into his crotch, “Needed to feel you,”

He squeezed your breasts, his thumbs rolling over your sensitive nipples, “Fuck baby,” his lips found your bare shoulder, leaving open-mouth kisses trailing up to your neck and then your ear, “All this for me? All for my cock?” You nodded and his fingers trailed down, splitting your folds open, rubbing your clit.

Jake had to admit this was one of the sexiest things you’ve ever done for him. Waking up to see his beautiful girlfriend naked and wet for him? Jeez, this was fucking heaven. And it made him desperate.

“Climb on top of me,” he whispers, ready to roll over to his back and see you ride him.

“No,” you shake your head, hand reaching behind you to the hem of his boxers, “Fuck me like this.” Oh LAWWD this was so fucking hot for Jake.

“What’s gotten into you tonight baby?” he asked, hands quickly sliding down his boxers, his hard cock pressing against your ass, “It’s so fucking hot.” His words sent chills down your spine, and your heat clenching, so ready for him. His hand lifted your thigh up and over his leg, using it as a way to keep you spread for him. Your hands gripped the bedsheets feeling his tip at your entrance and slowly pushed inside you.

“Oh fuckkkkk” Jake whined as he bottomed out, his hand squeezing your hip tightly. He slowly grinded into you, setting a good pace.

“Your pussy f-feels so good wrapped around me fuck.” he moans out, bucking his hips at a faster pace. Now was as good of a time as any. You reached up behind him, fingers tangling in his hair, and softly pulled.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck,” he groaned, his grip on your hip tightened as he fucked up into you faster.

You were starting to see stars from how fucking good it felt as he pounced into you, “Your cock feels so good, so good.” you whined, pulling his hair even harder.

“Fuck YN, baby pull it harder oh fuck pleaseeee.”

You did just that. Pulling as hard as your arm could in this position. He abused your pussy with the pace he was going, so hard and fast, hitting your g-spot perfectly. You reached your fingers to your clit, rubbing at the same pace as his hips bucking into you.

You felt his dick twitch. “M’cumming baby, fuck, cumming.”

“Me too,” you moaned, releasing onto his cock and a second later his seed painted your walls, your pussy milking his cock of every last drop.

“Fuck,” was all Jake was able to manage to push out, his head spun from how fast he came. You took deep breaths, heart racing.

Jake wrapped his arms back around you, nuzzling his face in your neck, “Fuck that was so hot.” You agreed, leaning into him. The only good thing that came out of that bitch running her mouth is you have found another way to pleasure your boyfriend.

—

Jake sat at the kitchen table with Heeseung, a good one thousand pieces of legos spread through the whole table. Heeseung and Jake had major smiles on their faces as they laughed and built the marvel set together.

“Brother, how were you even able to get this that fast? It literally released yesterday!” Heeseung asked, his fingers pushing to pieces together.

“Well, I may or may not have placed an online preorder and just picked it up.” Jake smiled up at his hyung.

Heeseung just shook his head, “You're crazy for spending that money.”

“Hey!” Jake scoffed, “It was well worth it!” Heeseung patted his back, agreeing with a nod.

“Too bad Sunghoon is missing out,” Heeseung laughed, “Jay too.”

Jake shrugged, piecing together the legos to the ones Heeseung just had, “I tried to get Jay to call out today, but he wouldn’t listen.”

Jake always loved building legos with them, it was some of his fondest memories as a child growing up. Speaking of childhood, Jake was concerned as to why you hadn’t left the room all morning yet. But as if on cue, you walked from the shared bedroom, dressed up a little too nice for Jake’s liking, you headed towards the front door.

“Wait! Hey!” Jake shouted quickly, you turning to face him and Heeseung. Jake took a moment to take in your outfit. Ripped skinny jeans, your favorite pair of white sneakers, a red tank top that hugged your body snug, and Jake’s black zip-up hoodie, “First off, that’s my hoodie, secondly, where are you going?”

You smirked at him, “What’s mine is yours, right baby?” Oh, I am definitely going to ruin her later.

Jake smirked back, “Yes, now answer the second question baby girl.”

You shrugged, adjusting the sleeves of Jake’s jacket, “To the school’s fair.”

Jake looked at you with confusion, why would you want to go to that? It was just something for some students to show off their majors to other students and families who wanted to go. It wasn’t anything special at all. Before Jake could protest and beg you to stay home with him, you quickly kissed his cheek goodbye and were out the door.

“Since when did she care about that fair?” Jake mumbled, going back to the legos.

“Probably to hang out with Osaki.”

Jake dropped the lego pieces, looking up at Heeseung, “What did you say?”

Heeseung just shrugged, “She’s been hanging with Osaki a lot lately. They have a class together.” Well, no shit! I already knew she had a class with him.

“What do you mean hanging out with him?”

Heeseung sighed, “I saw them at the school's cafe not too long ago. I don’t think they saw me though. He was also at the club that night. Saw him staring.” Heeseung thought nothing of this or saw anything wrong with you hanging out with Shotaro. You needed other friends besides the four of them, plus Shotaro is a good kid. But unfortunately Jake didn’t see it that way. Why have you never told him you were hanging out with him?

Heeseung could see the gears turning in Jake’s brain, “Man whatever you’re thinking, stop it.”

Jake sat in silence, sitting back in the chair, “Why didn’t she tell me about the cafe?”

Heeseung just shrugged, “It probably was a one-time thing. Does she know Stella came by the apartment the other day looking for you?”

Jake sighed, “No…Haven’t gotten to tell her.”

Heeseung shrugged again, “Maybe she just didn’t tell you yet either. Don’t make a big deal about it. She has your necklace wrapped around her neck twenty-four seven, every man on campus knows who she belongs to.” Everyone but Shotaro.

“Anyways,” Heeseung said, picking the Legos back up and wanting to change the topic, “Jay’s birthday is in two weeks, what are we planning?”

Jake couldn’t focus on that right now, no matter how hard he tried, “I dunno, maybe we’ll just throw a party or take him out or something.”

Jake stood from the table, grabbing his keys from the key drawer.

“Come on man,” Heeseung groaned, “You’re leaving me?”

“Come with then,” Jake said blankly, hand gripping the front door and Heeseung trailing right behind him.

Shotaro was glad you decided to come today. He was worried at one point you only agreed out of sadness and would cancel on him later, but seeing you here smiling happily at all the families and other students, it made him happy.

The science booth wasn’t directly something connected to your and his major and more sciencey for the kids.

Shotaro had a few plasma balls set up, with a board explaining the charges and how it all works.

It was really getting the kids going.

The major battery that was powering up the plasma balls was running low, giving a loud beep as the hint.

“We don’t have an extra battery,” you said to Shotaro, your hands digging through the small boxes that everything came in, “It’s not here at all.”

Taro thought for a minute, “Oh! there’s one in the science lab of the physics part of our building, it should be charged and in one of the closets.”

You nodded, quickly sprinting your way toward the physics building.

Jake’s eyes trailed every booth at the fair, watching all the different families interact with the students and professor. He had to admit it was pretty cute. No wonder you wanted to come.

Heeseung got distracted by a mini arcade basketball game that was set up beside other games, “I’ll catch you later Jake!” he said, slapping his friend's shoulder, “I’m gonna shoot some hoops.”

Jake nodded, “I’m going to find YN then I’ll be back.”

Unfortunately right when you walked off to find a spare battery, Jake found Shotaro’s booth.

Taro was busy explaining the plasma ball to a kid and didn’t notice Jake was standing nearby until the kid and her family left.

Taro’s smile faded and disappointment flooded him.

“Osaki,” Jake said, stepping closer to the booth.

“Sim,” he replied back.

Jake shoved his hands into his jacket pocket, eyes darting around the area, “Where is my girlfriend?”

Shotaro tried to not snicker at Jake calling you girlfriend, “She went to grab something for the booth.”

Jake slowly nodded, showing his annoyance, “Did she come here because you invited her?”

That made Shotaro laugh, “Jealous are we?”

Jake locked his jaw and clenched his fist, Shotaro wanted to laugh even more. How could Jake be so brave to come here and act this way when he’s causing you pain?

“Chill out,” Taro said, “I am joking.”

Jake just shook his head, “What do you want with my girlfriend?”

There he goes name-dropping her as girlfriend again.

“Your girlfriend,” Shotaro emphasized, “Is a close friend of mine. I invited her today to help cheer her up.”

Oh that didn’t sit okay with Jake, “The fuck you mean—“

“Did she not tell you at all?” Taro interrupted, then sighed as he realized you never told Jake about yesterday, the look of confusion all over his face, “You need to get your whores under control.”

Jake narrowed his eyes, “Excuse you?”

Shotaro rolled his eyes, hands gripping the table, “Stella and her bitch squad,” he snapped, “They went to the library yesterday and harassed YN. Spitting out all kinds of shit from your past sex life with Stella. She called me crying after she got off work.”

Jake’s eyes widened, his body tensing up. Last night made so much more sense now. The way you crawled into bed naked, how you demanded he fuck into you from behind like that, and the way you gripped his hair…Jake was too fucked out in that moment to realize it. It also hit him that you didn’t call him about it, or mentioned it when you got home.

Stella was always a problem for Jake. Fucked around with her only a couple of times and she acted like the two of them were official. She was clingy in the worst way possible and would always throw a fit when she caught wind of Jake sleeping with another girl. He got bored of her and her fucked personality so quickly. Jake wanted to forget about the night he cut her off and the way she got so mad at him. He only stayed “friends” with her as a way to not deal with the bullshit. Jake hoped after he dipped from the party life for a bit, she would have caught the hint. Mostly after that night at the club, but guess not.

Shotaro scoffed, “Got nothing to say now?”

Jake clenched his fist again, “Just stay away from my girlfriend.” He went to turn and leave, to go and find you himself.

“Hard to do when I have a class with her,”

Oh, he wanted to get hit.

Shotaro smiled at the way Jake whipped back around, “She deserves better.”

His words hit Jake hard, making his body deflate.

Jake opened his mouth to say something, but your hand touching his back, made him stop.

“Babe, you decided to come?” your smile and the way you looked up at him made his heart melt. All Jake wanted to do was pick you up and cuddle you. Whisper how much he loved you in your ears and plaster kisses all over your sweet face and apologize for Stella.

But he didn’t, Jake just smiled, wrapping his arm around you, “Yes, Heeseung is here too.”

Your eyes brightened, “Where is he?” You were actually genuinely happy Jake and Heeseung showed up. There were a few food stalls and games you wanted to try with them both.

“He found some arcade basketball game,” Jake pointed towards the direction, “He’s over there.”

You wanted to go, wanted to challenge Hee to a basketball game, but you also didn’t want to leave Taro alone.

You looked over at your friend, him smiling softly at you like he always did, “Go ahead. You’ve helped me a lot already.”

“Are you sure?”

Taro nodded. You smiled at him back, handing him the extra battery, and took off running towards Heeseung.

“Don’t fuck it up, Sim,” Shotaro said, watching you with Heeseung.

Jake looks at Shotaro, glaring at him, “Why does it matter to you?”

He smiled, watching as you shoot the basketball, and shoved Heeseung, “I care about her. I have to see her sad and disappointing face every time Stella or some other female makes a pass at you. I have to watch it kill her.”

Jake didn’t know what to say or do except look away, watching as Heeseung picked you up and threw you over his shoulder.

“So don’t fuck it up,” Taro said again, this time facing Jake, “I don’t want to have to beat your ass if she comes crying to me one more time.”

Jake scoffed, “Right. Stay away, besides the classes you have with her. I can protect my girlfriend without you.”

Shotaro just shrugged and nodded, “Do your thing then man. Just keep Stella under control, ya?”

With one final glare, Jake walked away. Taro’s “She deserves better,” ringing in his ears.

Jake knows what you deserve, and it was to be with him. He made you happy, he knows that. And he knows that he’s fucked up when it comes to Stella. Jake will have to put a stop to Stella’s antics once and for all.

But right now, all he cares about is joining the wrestling match between you and Heeseung.

—

Jay groaned and dropped all his weight to the floor, Heeseung, Sunghoon, and Jake, caught him before he actually hit the floor.

“Get the fuck up!” Sunghoon snapped, sliding his hands under Jay’s arms, “Someone get his legs!”

Heeseung and Jake both reached for your brother's legs and like a child throwing a tantrum, he started kicking.

“How old are you again?” Jake hissed, as Jay’s foot connected to his ribs.

“Apparently five since he wants to act like a child,” Heeseung groaned trying to grab ahold of his leg.

It took roughly ten minutes before Jay gave up the flight, letting his friends pick him up from the floor.

It was a silly sight to see for sure. Sunghoon carrying your brother by his arms with Jake and Heeseung carrying his feet. If you didn’t know these boys at all, you’d assume they were fixing to use Jay as a jump rope.

“Baby,” Jake called out to you, “Grab his shoes please,”

Which you did, picking up your brother's favorite red and white Nike sneakers.

It’s his birthday today. You and the three stooges planned a whole day's worth of activities for him.

Heeseung and Jay went out to breakfast this morning. Sunghoon took him to see that new scary movie that just came out. Jake took him to buy new guitar strings and picks since the ones he had now were old and falling apart.

You on the other hand weren’t sure what to do or get your brother, mostly since the stooges did everything you wanted to do for him. This was the first birthday in a long while that you were actually getting to spend with him.

Usually, you’d just cash app him thirty bucks with a note saying “Happy birthday big brother ❤️ love you tons, get yourself something nice.” But obviously, since you’re living under his roof now, you couldn’t just give him money with a happy birthday note.

But at the last minute, you knew exactly what to get him. You just need the stooges to get your brother out of the apartment and to the club for his official birthday celebration so you can sneak off to the mall.

And obviously, your brother wasn’t having it.

“I don’t want to go out!” Jay scoffed, trying to wiggle out of his friend's hold they have on him, “You guys already did enough for me today!”

“Big brother,” you said, holding his shoes up. Jay stopped wiggling, his eyes shooting daggers at you, “Let's be grown up and put your shoes on. Okay?”

“Traitor!” he rolled his eyes, “My own sister! My flesh and blood!”

Alright, now he’s just being dramatic.

Jay honestly did want to go out tonight, but more of a go-out to buy alcohol and drink in the comfort of his apartment kinda go out.

But the boys always went out for each other's birthdays, and today wasn’t any different.

“Come on mate,” Jake laughed, “We always go out, we don’t have to be out long.”

Jay knew it was a losing battle, plus he knew the four of them would just drag him out of the apartment looking how they are right now. So he gave him, “Fine!” he snapped, “But only for a couple hours.”

Which everyone agreed on, setting him down and ushering him to the door, and handing him his shoes.

You quickly left to pick up your brother’s birthday gift and then met them at the club.

It was a brand-new club as well. Just opened earlier in the week. It was more for your college students anyway since it was right now the road from your campus.

Something about it being a safer walk/drive to and from campus so the students living in the dorms would get back safer. Which honestly, good for the school to do that.

Unfortunately, that didn’t go for you and your roommates. But oh well.

You could tell the four boys had already been drinking by how dilated their eyes were, “You started without me?”

Jay giggled, wrapping his arm around your neck, and bringing you close to him, “Isn’t my baby sister the cutest?”

Oh god, they were further gone than you thought.

“My man,” Jake giggled back, his eyes looking you up and down, “You’re telling me? I’ve crushed on her for years!”

“She’s cute just like you my dude!” Heeseung smiled, slapping Jay’s back, “Never seen a more beautiful pair of siblings!”

Sunghoon agreed, lifting his beer, “They are almost as cute as me and my sister. Maybe we four our ties.”

“Okay,” you said, slipping out from your brother’s arm, “I have your birthday gift,”

“For meeeeeeeee????” he sang, taking the bag from your hands, and slowly pulling out the tissue paper.

Jay stood in silence, dropping the bag to the floor, holding the Chicago Bulls jersey you bought him in his hands, “Stinks,” he said, looking up at you, “How much was this?”

You just smiled, taking the jersey from his hands, “Put it on!”

Your brother has many jerseys, but they were all off-brand and not official, but this one was. He’s always wanted an official jersey since he was a kid, but never asked for one for holidays or his birthday, not wanting your parents to break their bank just to get him one.

“YN,” he said, shaking his head, “This was way too much money!”

“Shut up!” You pulled the fabric over his head, “Just accept the gift, you’ve gotten me plenty of things I have wanted for my birthday since we were kids. Please accept this.”

Your brother nodded, pulling the fabric over his body, “Thank you, so much!” He pulled you into a tight hug, “I love you.”

You hugged him back tighter, “I love you too!”

He released you from the hug, patting the top of your head, “Okay, now that you’re here let’s get fucked up!”

Jay cheered along with Sunghoon, creating a train back to the bar.

“I thought we weren’t getting fucked up tonight!” You shouted, following after them. Jake and Heeseung rushing in front of you to join their friends on the train

You all definitely spent more than a couple of hours there. The alcohol and music are flowing through your veins.

Sunghoon at one point disappeared and returned with red lipstick covering his face.

Heeseung stopped drinking and chugged down some water after realizing everyone was drinking a bit too much, encouraging you to also drink water to sober up since you still had to drive your car back home.

“Seungieeeee,” you whined, “We can just get my car in the morning,” you leaned against his shoulder.

“Nah,” he said, lifting you up straight and handing you a bottle of water, “Drink. Jay would kill me if I let you continue to drink like this.”

You pouted but took the water anyway. You knew he was right. Even drunk and on his birthday, Jay’s main focus is keeping you safe. Jay trusted his friends to help watch over you.

You sat at the bar, chugging down your third bottle of water. Your vision was no longer blurry and the world didn’t feel like it was spinning anymore. You were sober enough now.

You used the bathroom and made your way back out to the dance floor in search of your roommates, but your eyes landed on Shotaro and Sungchan.

“Hey!” you shouted, walking up to them, “What are you guys doing here?”

Taro smiled wide, “Checking out the club, what about you?”

Shotaro figured you’d stay away from clubs, mostly after the last time you all went to one.

“Same here! It’s Jay’s birthday, so we brought him out.”

Taro nodded, “Where is he? I need to tell him happy birthday!”

You giggled a little too much, maybe the alcohol was still in your system a lot more than you thought.

You picked up a conversation with them, finally being able to officially meet Sungchan instead of just waving at each other in passing.

Jake noticed the three of you. His body slowly stopped moving to the beat of the music.

“Am I too drunk and seeing things, or is YN standing around with Osaki and his friend?”

Heeseung leaned to Jake’s side, taking a look, “Nope I am seeing the same thing and I’m not even drunk.”

“I told him to stay away from her,” Jake growled.

Heeseung wrapped his arm around Jake, pulling him closer to him, “I think that problem is the least of your worries right now.”

Jake rolled his eyes, trying to push his friend off him, “The fuck do you mean? I don’t like him around my girlfriend.”

“Jaeyun shut up!” Heeseung snapped, making Jake go still, “Stella is here.”

Yeah, that’s a bigger problem.

Jake tried to hide himself between Jay, Sunghoon, and Heeseung. But unfortunately, Stella saw him anyway.

“Jakey!” She sang, her friends following right behind her.

Dear lord, give me the strength to not slap some hoes.

“Stella,” he said blankly.

She pouted, “Are you not happy to see me?”

“No,” Sunghoon answered for Jake, his thumb trying to wipe off the last bit of red lipstick from his jaw.

“I wasn’t speaking to you, Park Sunghoon,” she laughed.

“Well, the answer stays the same,” Jake finally answered, “Get lost.”

She scoffed, “Why are you being an asshole?”

Sunghoon and Heeseung widened their eyes, taking that as a sign to walk away, pushing the drunk Jay further onto the dance floor.

“Hmm, I dunno!” Jake snapped, “Maybe because you’re harassing my girlfriend?”

She just chuckled, “Jake, we both know you don’t settle down.”

Oh, now he was pissed.

“Just because I didn’t give you the time of day besides when I wanted to get my dick wet doesn’t mean shit. We were never a thing.”

She crossed her arms, also now pissed, “What makes her so special?”

Jake laughed, “Because I’ve known her my whole life. She’s not fake and the realest person I know.”

Jake’s eyes left Stella and looking back at you, seeing the way you laughed with Shotaro and Sungchan made his heart drop and fist clench.

Stella turned and looked in the direction Jake was staring off at, “Damn, maybe she’s not as real as you may have thought.”

Jake wanted to walk over there and snatch you away from Shotaro.

But Stella had other plans, “Dance with me! Forget about her!”

Jake shook his head, “Fuck off Stella. Stay away from me and YN.”

But she was grabbing his wrist, and pulling him to the center of the dance floor.

“Is everyone here too?” Shotaro asked, finally fully aware that Jake was more than likely shooting daggers at the back of his head.

You nodded, looking in the direction you saw them last, “They are right…over there.”

Taro looked, seeing Stella’s hand wrapped around Jake’s wrist, “YN, I’m—“

“Do you want to dance?” You quickly asked, taking his wrist between your fingers.

“YN, I don’t think…” Shotaro didn’t want to play into whatever game you were about to play or get caught in the middle of whatever it was with you and Jake. He was already on Jake’s bad side.

“Please,” you begged, the gloss in your eyes becoming more apparent.

Oh fuck it I guess.

Shotaro took your hand, leading you to the dance floor, leaving Sungchan alone.

“Guess I’ll watch this unfold,” he said, tipping the beer glass to his lips.

Shotaro obviously wasn’t thinking clearly. All he knew was you wanted to dance, so that’s exactly what he was going to do.

He twirled you around in a circle, then pulled you to his chest, moving in rhythm to the beat of the music.

He wasn’t dancing sexually with you, he would never cross that boundary or disrespect Jake and your relationship like that. But he did have his hands on your hips and held you close knowing damn well Jake was burning holes into him.

Jake never sobered up so fast at seeing another man touching you. He pushed Stella’s hand off him, ready to walk over to you and push Shotaro away. But Stella worked way too fast.

She pressed her back against his chest, rolling her body to the music, “Jake it’s just a dance, come on.”

Jake placed his hands on her shoulders, ready to push her off him, his eye finding yours looking back at him.

You narrowed your eyes in anger, seeing how pressed up to your boyfriend she was. Seeing his hands resting on her shoulders.

Game on.

You wrapped your arms around Taro’s neck, pushing your breasts against his chest.

“YN,” Shotaro said quickly, feeling Jake’s eyes on the two of you.

Your outfit and the way you were now pressing yourself against him made his cheeks flush.

You had on a navy blue long-sleeve bodysuit that hung low enough for your breasts to poke out over the top and a black tight skirt that shaped your ass nicely, showing off your pretty long legs and your white sneakers.

Jake wasn’t having it. Seeing the way you were slutting yourself over another man when he was standing right here?

“Just dance,” you whispered into Taro’s ear, “Make him jealous with me, please.”

Shotaro didn’t like this idea, but he also didn’t like the fact Jake had yet to remove himself from Stella. If this were such a problem on both ends, neither of them wouldn’t be acting as toxic as they are right now. So, he played along. Holding you tightly against him, his hands moving from your hips to the small of your back, dancing to the beat of the music against you.

Jake clenched his jaw. Fine. Game on.

Jake aggressively grasped Stella’s waist, grinding against her the same way she was against him. Leaning his head against the side of her, his eyes never leaving yours. “That’s it Jakey,” she said, reaching her arms up, ready to tangle her fingers in his hair.

Jake quickly slapped her arms back down at her sides, “Don’t fucking touch me,” he whispered growling in her ears, “Only YN can touch me.”

Stella scoffed, “That’s not stopping Osaki.”

Jake knew the game you were playing. He’s known you his whole fucking life. Knew you inside and out. Knew this was just a fucking act to make him angry and jealous. And honestly? It worked. Jake continued to dance to the beat, the eye contact you both held together never wavering.

You looked away only for a minute, to stand up on your tiptoes, pressing your breasts even more onto Taro’s chest, brushing your nose with his. Jake was done. Shoving Stella away from him, “What the fuck Jake?!” She snapped.

“Stay the fuck away from me, Stella!” he growled, “I’m not playing your games anymore. Fuck off.”

There he left her standing alone, completely defeated.

“Get the fuck off her!” Jake growled once again, one arm wrapped around your waist and the other shoving Shotaro away.

“Jake!” You snapped, shoving him off you.

“Man, fuck this!” Taro yelled, “I told you to not fuck this up!”

Jake got in his face, “Who are you to tell me what to do?!”

“I told you so!!” Taro yelled again, “I prayed for you to not fuck this up. I told you what would happen if she came crying to me again!”

Jake was beyond angry and starting to see red.

You pushed yourself between them, sending them to take a couple of steps back.

“Will you two fucking stop!” you snapped, looking over at Jake, “If you’re going to be pissed at anyone, direct it towards me!”

So he did.

“What the fuck were you thinking?!?” he snapped.

“Me?!” you scoffed with a laugh, “What about you? I literally can’t leave you alone long enough without some bitch making passes at you or harassing me! Mostly Stella!”

Jake chuckled, “Baby, you knew what you were signing up for when you fucked me in the hot tub that night.”

You just looked up at him shaking your head, the tears forming in your eyes “No, because I thought you changed. Thought I was worth it enough for you to drop the playboy act, to give it all up. You don’t think I don’t see how you flirt with the girls when they talk to you? You may not touch them, but you still give them that flirty smile. You aren’t slick, Jake. You may have removed them all from your socials and blocked their numbers but I still see how you talk to them. As if I don’t even exist.”

Your words hit Jake like a truck. He didn’t even realize that his actions could have been seen as flirting. He can swear up and down all day long that he wasn’t flirting. That it was just you being jealous. But before he could fight back, you spoke up again.

“You probably haven’t even told any of them you had a girlfriend, did you? By the way Stella acted the one night, you never told anyone.”

Jake relaxed his body, his clenched hands coming undone, “Had?”

Shotaro laughed, “Damn, bro I didn’t even know she was taken when we first met.”

Jake clenched his fists again, “No one is speaking to you!”

Before more words could get thrown out, Sunghoon was quickly stepping beside you, wrapping his arm around yours and Jake’s neck.

“Now, I don’t fucking know what is going on, but whatever it is can we just…not?”

By Sunghoon’s tone of voice, you could tell he was pissed off. With the way he kept looking over his shoulder told you he was looking for Jay.

But you weren’t in the mood to just drop everything.

“Maybe control this pup and how he acts toward other females and then we wouldn’t have any issues.”

Jake narrowed his eyes at you, “Really? YN? Gonna pull that bullshit when you were just slutting yourself all over Osaki?!”

“Hey hey!” Sunghoon snapped, pointing his index finger into Jake’s chest, pushing you behind him, “Don’t you fucking talk to her like that! Jay would put you ten feet under if he heard that come out of your mouth.”

Sunghoon didn’t stop there, he turned back to you, his index finger now on your shoulder, “And you? It’s your brother’s birthday. Are we really going to do this right now!?”

He was right, tonight was supposed to be about your brother, but it got turned into a massive fight between you and Jake.

You shook your head, “Fine,” and with that you walked away, deciding being anywhere but here was better.

“YN!” Jake called after you, starting to follow you. But Sunghoon stopped him, “YN!!”

“Jake, let her go.” Sunghoon said, “She needs to cool off.”

“YN!” he called after you again, his eyes not leaving you, even as his heart was breaking.

You saw your brother, the biggest smile on his face as he walked over to you.

“Hey!” he called for you, but you kept walking, moving right past him.

Jay looked at you confused, then turned and faced Jake, his eyes moving between him, Sunghoon, and Shotaro, a sigh leaving his lips.

—

Jake paced back and forth in the living room, his phone connected to his ear.

“Your call has been forwarded to—“

“FUCK!” He yelled, dropping himself to the couch, fist clenching the back of his head, squeezing his phone.

Sunghoon and Heeseung stood in the kitchen, watching their best friend’s heart break right in front of them.

You didn’t come home last night and Jake was losing his mind.

He was already running on no sleep. Stayed up the entire night waiting for you to come home.

He’s called multiple times. Let plenty of voice messages. Texted probably over two hundred times. He even stalked your followers on Instagram to message Shotaro to see if he knew where you were.

Sunghoon and Heeseung have tried calling and texting to, not getting any responses.

Jay walked in from the front door, his phone attached to his ear.

Jake stood up quickly, Sunghoon and Heeseung also stood up straighter.

“Stinks, you can’t just up and leave like that.” He said, a bit too calm for everyone’s liking. Mostly to Jake. He expected Jay specifically to grill your ass hard for not returning back to the apartment.

Jake quickly made his way to Jay, whispering to hand the phone to him.

Jay shook his head, pointing his index finger behind Jake in a sign to back up.

Which he did, taking a few steps back, and letting Jay fully walk into the living room.

“Yeah but we were all worried about you,” Jay sighed, shaking his head, “Please just think clearly okay?” there was some silence, “Hey, I love you, okay? I always have your back.” more silence, then the phone call ended.

“Is she okay?” Jake quickly asked, his hand shaking.

“She’s fine, just give her space please.”

Jake fell back onto the couch, covering his face with his hands, “I fucked up so hard.”

“Yeah,” Jay said, his voice now turning dark, “You fucking did.”

“Can we please not fight right now?!” Heeseung snapped, “This bullshit is affecting us all, not just the two of you! YN is like a little sister to us too.”

Jay sighed, “Just give her space, please. She’ll bounce back.”

“Where is she?” Jake asked, “I won’t be able to sleep until I know where she is.”

Jay scoffed, not wanting to tell him. He didn’t deserve to know where his sister was, “She’s safe and fine. Lose sleep over it. I don’t care.”

With that Jay went to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Sunghoon placed his hands on Jake’s shoulders, “She probably doesn’t want you to know,” Jake just shrugged, “Give Jay some time too. You know how he is over YN.”

Jake just nodded, his vision going blurry from the tears swelling his eyes.

You set your phone down on your bed, wiping the tears that streamed down your face.

The smell of pasta made its way to your nose and your stomach growled.

With a sigh you pushed yourself from your bed and out the room, making your way down the stairs.

You stopped once you reached the bottom, eyes looking down the hallway at the door to the spare bedroom.

“YN!” your mother called, pulling your attention back to the kitchen and the pasta.

You walked in, eyes darting to every corner of the kitchen. Looking out the glass doors and seeing the hot tub. Everything in this house reminded you of him. It all started here.

“Oh my sweet baby girl,” your mother sighed, pulling you into a hug, “Sweet heart tell me what happened.”

You just shook your head, not wanting to tell her or even being ready to tell her. Part of this was your fault, and you didn’t want to ruin any image she had of Jake. That’s the last thing you wanted.

You sat quietly during dinner, listening to your parents talk about work and their plans for the summer. Something about a trip and wanting you and Jay to tag along.

“Yeah that sounds great Mom,” you said softly, taking a small bite of your food.

After your parents finished their dinner, you sat in silence in the kitchen. Eyes not looking away from the hot tub.

“Baby, you knew what you were signing up for when you fucked me in the hot tub that night.”

His words burned into your brain. You thought he was the same kid you grew up with, but you were so so wrong.

Your mind wandered back to every single memory that happened in this house. Starting from when you were kids and how he would tease you. How he would wave to you in the hallways during middle school. The small nods he’d give you as you passed him in the halls, the way he would tease and laugh at you with Jay. Then the memories from winter break.

The way he wouldn’t take his eyes off you. How he was willing to risk his friendship with your brother just to be with you. How he felt with his body pressed against yours. How soft his lips were. How gently his hands would trade every inch of your skin. The stolen smiles when no one was looking. The quick kisses when everyone left the room for a second. The way he held you after the night he made love to you.

It all started here. It all started here in this house.

You finally picked yourself up from the table, quickly washed your plate, and dropped yourself onto the couch in the living room.

You sat in silence for a while before your mother sat down beside you.

“I just got off the phone with Jongseong…”

You rolled your eyes, dropping your face into your hands, “What did he tell you?”

“Nothing,” she said softly, pulling your hands from your face, “At least, no details. Just that there’s been some Issues between you and Jaeyun.”

You just stared off into the distance, not knowing how to respond.

“Sweetie, what happened?”

You just shook your head, “I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

She nodded, rubbing her thumbs over the top of your hands, “Honey, I know relationships are hard, but don’t ever forget who you are. Don’t get lost in the bad things. I don’t know for sure what happened between the two of you, I love you both dearly, but don’t forget what it is that you truly deserve. Don’t lose sight of that.”

She kissed your forehead, then left you alone again in the living room.

Eventually, you went back upstairs and fell down onto your bed. Jake even has his presence in this room. You wanted to grab your things and sleep downstairs on the couch or even take over your brother’s bedroom, but you weirdly felt comfort here in your room as well.

You spent the next couple of days at home, giving yourself time to process everything. Taking that time to rethink everything from start to finish and eventually come to your final decision.

You called Jay early this morning, double-checking with him that everyone would be gone from the apartment, he asked why multiple times, but you confirmed you’d tell him later.

You made the hour trip back to the apartment, eyes darting in every direction to make sure no one’s cars were around, and made your way up the stairs and into the apartment.

You pulled your duffle bags from the hall closet and quickly entered Jake’s bedroom.

You filled both bags with everything you could, ultimately deciding to return back another day to get the rest.

Taking one final look into the dresser drawers to make sure there was nothing else you needed, a voice startled you.

“Where the fuck have you been?!”

You jumped, turning to see Jake standing in the middle of the room.

“You scared the fuck out of me!” you snapped at him, turning back around.

“Answer me!” he snapped.

You turned around to face him again, seeing he was clearly not in a good mood.

“I am not speaking to you if you’re going to yell at me. We are adults, not children.”

Jake looked down at your full duffle bags, “You’re leaving me?”

You were hoping that if you did run into him, he’d be begging you to stay, promising to change, apologizing for how wrong he was, how wrong you both were but made up anyway.

But his tone of voice made it obvious that wasn’t going to happen.

As happy as Jake was finally getting to see you after the last couple of days, he was filled with anger. How could you just drop off the face of the earth for three days and not tell a damn soul? How could you come back finally just to pack your shit and leave him? Jake didn’t have a poker face and knew his anger was showing.

You just scoffed, “Thought I made that obvious at the club.”

Jake just rolls his eyes, “Why? We have one major fight and you’re ready to get up and leave?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “Jake why the fuck do you think? Your playboy life was clearly more important than me.”

Jake wanted to shout at you on how untrue that was, that you were the most important thing to him.

“Jake, I gave you multiple chances to change, to stop the flirting. I can only take so much.”

He scoffed, “Yeah? And what about Osaki?”

You groaned, crossing your arms, “Taro was my friend! If anything he helped me stop putting blinders on when it came to you!”

“Oh, what the fuck ever YN!”

Jake knew this fight was going to end badly. The minute he got Jay to crack about you being back at the apartment he rushed back so fast. Jake walked in scared you were leaving him. The last thing he wanted was a fight to happen. Yet, here you both were.

“Why are you even here?!” You yelled back at him, “Don’t you have classes?!”

“Why are you leaving me?!” Was all he could yell back.

“Because Jake! This,” you pointed your index finger between the two of you, “Wasn’t supposed even to happen to begin with!”

Jake clenched his fist, “What is that supposed to mean?” he softly asked.

“Jake,” you sighed, “Maybe those silly rules my brother had in place were for a reason. Maybe he wasn’t crazy after all.”

“Yeah?” he said, stepping closer to you, “Are you saying this was all a mistake?”

You didn’t know what to say, you stood frozen as he walked closer to you.

“Are you saying the night in the hot tub was for nothing? The way I’d fuck you so good every night in your bed even though I knew we could get caught you all regret?”

He was inches away from your face, his hot breath touching your lips, “Was moving here a mistake too? Should we have been a good boy and girl and obeyed your brother's wishes?”

You didn’t understand why, but the way he was deeply whispering these words to you made you wet and your knees buckle.

“Take your fucking clothes off,” he whispered in your ear, his hands already working their way at the edges of your shirt and up your body.

For reasons unknown, you let him undress you. You let his lips kiss yours aggressively. His hands removed your clothes with such force you were scared he’d rip your clothes into pieces.

His tongue slid down your throat, twirling around your tongue as your hands worked their magic of removing his clothes.

Jake pressed his bare body against yours, his hands aggressively moving over every inch of your body. His cock pressed up against you, his precum leaking down your belly.

This make-out was different from your normal make-outs, it was filled with so much hate, anger, lust, and pain.

His hands cupped your breasts, his palms making circles over your nipples and stopping every few seconds to squeeze the plush between his fingers.

His right hand slid down your body, fingers spreading your folds and shoving three fingers into you. Aggressively finger fucking you and the lewd wet sounds from his fingers sliding in and out of you echoed in the room.

“Jake,” you gripped his shoulders, squeezing down tightly at the pain between your legs, “Jake it hurts,”

“Take it,” he growled into your mouth, pressing his lips to yours hard, “Fucking take it.”

You pulled his bottom lip between your teeth, biting down with such force as he tried to pull away, letting out the sexist groan you’ve ever heard leave his lips. Feeling the iron in your mouth from where your teeth broke the skin on his lip.

“Fuck,” he groaned, picking you up by your thighs, and slamming you against the wall.

His tip found your entrance and Jake wasted no time shoving himself in.

You released the most wet, dirty, pornographic moan in his ear, his cock twitching deeply inside you, chills being sent down his back from how sexy that moan was.

Jake pounded into you with such force and so rough that his necklace bounced against your collarbone, more than likely leaving bruises against your skin.

“This was such a mistake huh?” he moaned, “Such a fucking mistake? Still, you need my cock like the good fucking slut you are.”

You clenched your jaw, your hands flying to the back of his head and taking a handful of his hair, pulling it hard.

“God fucking damnit,” he moaned again, pumping faster into you and getting rougher that his legs started to get weak.

“I hate you,” you whined, the tears starting to gloss over your eyes, “I fucking hate you!”

Jake bit your ear lobe, sucking on the skin before releasing it and pressing his lips to your ear, “Yeah? You hate me? Prove it then.”

You wiggled out of his grip on you and the wall, aggressively pushing him across the room and down onto the bed.

Jake was so turned on by this, by this hate sex. The way your eyes were glossed over with so much hatred for him at this moment. The way you threw him onto the bed and straddled him made him crazy. You were so sexy when being dominant.

You wasted no time sliding back down his cock, using his shoulders to your advantage of riding the fuck out of him.

You bounced on his dick with the same aggression he used when fucking you against the wall. Your nails are digging into his skin, drawing a bit of blood.

Jake kept eye contact with you, his hands gripping your ass tightly and helping you slide up and down his shaft.

Your vision was becoming blurry by how glossed over your eyes were becoming. You truly hated him at this moment.

Hated him for what he’s put you through since moving here. Hated him for his behavior at the club. Hated him for his past. Hated him for fucking you in the hot tub that night. Hated him for making you love him even after everything. Hated him because you knew you’d never stop loving him.

And the only way to get out of all this madness was fuck him like there was so tomorrow. Fuck him until his head spun and he was seeing stars.

“Fuck, oh fuck,” he breathed out, feeling his climax approaching fast, fingers gripped even tighter against your ass “That’s it baby, f-fuck, hate fuck me. Make me cum and make a mess of your cunt.”

You grinded on him harder until his head was flung back and his cum filled you to the brim. Your orgasm hit a second later, mixing your cum together as you slowed your pace until your legs could no longer move you.

Jake fell back onto the bed, pulling you down with him, wrapping his arms tightly around you.

You both breathed deeply together until your breaths slowed, and your hearts calmed down.

Jake rubbed his thumbs against your back, “Please don’t leave me.”

You pulled yourself off of him, sitting on the edge of the bed as you pulled your clothes back on.

Jake sat up on his elbow, eyes pleading with you to not leave.

“Please, YN, I can’t lose you.”

You looked away from him, hands reaching up and unclasping his necklace, setting it down on the bed, “You already did.”

Without another word, you grabbed your bags and quickly left the apartment.

Jake slapped his hands onto his face, rolling over and screaming as loud as he could into his bedsheets.

—

Jake sat in the living room, his hand gripping the necklace as his eyes stared a hole into the wall.

Jay was the first to find him like this. His face is all puffy from hours of crying. Jake looked like he was barely able to dress himself. His shirt was inside out, and his sweatpants looked like they were pulled from his dirty clothes bin.

“Shit man,” Jay said, running over quickly to his best friend, kneeling down in front of him, “What happened? Speak to me.”

Jake couldn’t even look at Jay, the two of you looked way too much alike and it took losing you to really see you in him.

“She’s gone, she left me.”

Jay closed his eyes tightly, releasing a deep sigh.

“Jay, I can’t live without her.”

Then the tears came back and all Jay could do was wrap his arms around Jake, holding him close as he screamed into his shoulder.

Jake screamed until his voice gave out and fell asleep on the couch, completely wearing himself out.

Jay, Sunghoon, and Heeseung stood in the kitchen at the counter, arms crossed and looks of sadness on each of their faces.

“What are we going to do with him?” Heeseung whispered, finally breaking the silence, “I’ve never seen him like this before.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Sunghoon asked, “Where is YN even going?”

Jay just shrugged, “When I called her after he fell asleep, she said she was moving into a dorm room on campus. That she’ll stay until the semester is over and will transfer back to the college she came from during the summer.”

Both Sunghoon and Heeseung sighed, looking down to the floor. They didn’t want you to leave just as much as Jake and Jay. You were family to them after all.

“Maybe this is for the best,” Sunghoon spoke up again after a while, “You two didn’t see how bad it was that night,” he shook his head, “I was scared if I didn’t step in, it would have gotten so much worse.”

Jay dropped his face into his palm, trying to think of any way possible to fix this situation. To play any type of damage control he can to bring you back and fix your relationship with Jake. But Sunghoon was right, Jay didn’t witness what happened that night. He had no clue how bad it really was.

“Let’s just…” Jay sighed again, “Give them time. My sister is way too stubborn, she just needs her space and time to heal. Jake? I dunno, we’ll figure something out.”

They all agreed knowing it was the only thing they could do anyway.

—

You sighed, holding your thumb up and squinting your eye, tilting your head off to the side.

“It’s crooked, YN. Doing this whole painter's thing ain’t going to work.”

You rolled your eyes and dropped your hand to your side, giving Taro your nastiest side eye, “Well I don’t see you helping, now do I?”

Shotaro smirked, “Why are you even trying to hang up this dollar store painting when you’re leaving in less than a month?”

You’ve already lived in the dorms for three weeks now and plan to just repack everything up the moment the semester ends at the beginning of June and stay with your parents over the summer while you get your transfer papers and credits to return back to your previous college.

So yeah, Shotaro had a point on why you even bothered hanging up a printed copy of Starry Night that you found in a bin at the dollar store.

“Listen,” you said, hands up in defense, “This room is plain. It needs more color!”

Shotaro shrugged in a way that he sees your point, you might only have a couple more weeks left here, but might as well do it comfortably.

“Honestly,” he said tilting his head, “it looks kinda cool sideways a bit.”

You followed your best friend's motions, “Yeah, so maybe I was onto something.”

You both chuckled, feeling so at ease.

“Hey…how are you doing? Really?”

There goes that easiness.

“Taro…”

“Please just…be honest with me,” he pleads with you, “I didn’t force you to tell me everything when you showed up to my dorm room that night, and I’ve given you that space. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

You couldn’t be upset with him for wanting to make sure you’re fine. You didn’t tell him everything that happened between you and Jake, you just kind of showed up at his dorm room crying and only telling him that you two were over. Shotaro was patient with you as you cried your heart out, giving you all the time to calm down and breathe.

After that night you never spoke about Jake again. Not even so much saying his name. You even told your brother to not mention him to you. The pain was still fresh and it hurt way too much. You didn’t want to deal with it.

What made the breakup easier was not seeing him on campus. Neither of you had classes together and the only time you actually saw him on campus was during bio and it was when he’d be leaving his class and see him out the window. But even then you moved seats away from the window, Shotaro moving with you.

“I am fine,” you half lied because it was half-truth. You felt okay for the most part. Yeah the pain is still there and you miss Jake dearly, but you felt stress-free, no worries.

“YN…” he whispered your name, pulling you into a hug, “I can see it in your eyes, I know you’re not completely fine.”

You couldn’t hold it in anymore, finally crying again since the night of the breakup.

“I miss him so fucking much,” you cried into his shoulder, “I hate how empty I feel without him. I hate how at ease I feel without him. I hate that I miss him. I hate that I am even crying over him.”

Shotaro rested his chin on the top of your head, slowly rocking you back and forth. He could only imagine how you were feeling. You’ve known Jake your entire life. He was always a presence in your life. And falling in love with him made that complicated, but Shotaro could tell it was always worth it. Regardless of what you say about it.

All Shotaro wanted to do was fix it. To take that pain away. To also tell you ‘I told you so’. To hug you tightly until you forget all your worries. He wanted to kiss you but at the same time, he didn’t. So many conflicting feelings.

Shotaro didn’t know what to feel when it came to you. All he knew was he cared about you and wanted you happy. Even if that meant being with Jake.

Your crying slowed, small hiccups leaving your lips.

Shotaro became brave and connected his lips to your forehead, lingering his lips a couple of seconds longer before releasing you completely from his arms.

“I think before you ultimately decide to move away, you should think about what you’d be leaving behind.”

Taro’s hands slid down your arms before he let go, walking out of your dorm, and leaving you alone.

You knew going back to your previous college meant being alone.

No parents just an hour away.

No Shotaro.

No Sunghoon.

No Heeseung.

No older brother.

No Jake.

Your eyes wandered back up to your poster, fingers on instinct going to your neck, only to find the disappointment of his necklace no longer there.

—

“Jake!” Jay yelled, his hands gripping the locked door, his forehead resting against the wood, “Sim Jake! Sim Jaeyun!”

Jake groaned, pulling his blankets over his head, “Go the FUCK away!”

Jay clenched his teeth, “You need to talk to your brother and parents!! They haven’t stopped ringing my line all because you don’t know how you answer your damn fucking phone!!”

Jake shook his head as if anyone could see it.

It’s been a month since you left him, and you leave for your parents tomorrow morning. You’ll be gone forever.

Jay’s knocking got more annoying, his hand twisting the door handle to the point where Jake felt like jumping out the window.

But he chose to climb out of bed and unlock the door instead.

Jay busted the door open, his face flushed with anger, “What the fuck man?!”

Jake laid back down on his bed, facing away from his friend.

Jay knew Jake was still going through it. He’s never seen his best friend so depressed, so not himself.

Jake has never skipped class back to back or as often as he has recently.

Jake never skipped meals. But now he barely eats.

Jake only got up to go to work and then got right back into bed right after.

He was so lifeless and it was driving Jay and the others crazy. They all hated seeing him like this. All over some girl.

Well, not just some girl, his little sister. But the point still stands.

But seeing Jake like this only made Jay really and truly realize how much you meant to him. That the night back at your parents after you both got caught wasn’t just some bullshit. It was all real. Jake loved you deeply and wholeheartedly. He truly couldn’t live without you.

Jay understood how Jake could be feeling right now, you leave campus tomorrow and vowed to never come back here. Forced Jay to promise never to bring Jake to another family function or vacation. To keep him away.

No wonder Jake felt like the world was ending.

“Jake…” Jay softly whispered, “Speak to me, man.”

“Bring her back,” he mumbled.

“Hmm?”

“Bring her back to me,” Jake spoke up, “use your brother's convincing skills and bring her back to me.”

Oh how badly Jay wished he could.

The apartment isn’t as full of life as it used to be with your presence here.

“I miss her too man,” was all Jay could say, slowly closing the door, “I wish I could do more.” then closed the door, leaving Jake alone in his dark room.

He didn’t know how many hours had passed since Jay left, all Jake knew was the sun had been replaced by the moon, He slowly drifted off into sleep, just to wake up to his alarm and the sun peeking through his curtains.

Jake’s eyes fluttered open, his ears drowning out the alarm as he focused on the summer sun rising.

You were gone. And you took his heart with you.

Someone came in and eventually turned Jake’s alarm off, he doesn’t know who, he just knows someone came in giving him a sigh and turning the loud thing off(it was Sunghoon).

More time passed, Jake didn’t know how long, but the next sound he heard was someone practically breaking his door down.

“Get the fuck up,” it was Jay, “Come on, get your ass up!”

Jay gripped the bedsheets and pulled them from Jake’s body.

Jake rolled onto his back with a groan, “Can’t you let me sit in my depression peacefully?!!”

“Fuck no,” Jay quickly said, walking to the closet and pulling out clean clothes, “Go shower, you smell gross.”

Jake sat up, staring at his friend with confusion, “I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“Yes you do, and you will. Get. Up.”

Jake fell back down onto his bed, “No.”

Jay lost his patience, dropping Jake’s clothes to the floor and stomping to his bed, grabbing both his arms and pulling him off his bed.

“What the fuck!” Jake yelled, “Fuck off! I swear to god I’ll beat your fucking ass.”

“Stop being a bitch, go shower and get ready! You’re going to win back my sister.”

Jake’s body went limp, “What?”

“She’s not staying with our parents for the summer anymore. Shotaro just texted me saying she decided to go back as soon as possible, she’s just waiting for the school to accept her transfer, which is only a matter of days.”

Jake just shook his head, “She doesn’t want me.”

Jay dropped his body to the floor, “She loves you, man! Why the fuck else do you think she’s wanting to leave so quickly?”

Jake looked up at his friend, knowing he was right. You don’t do things just for nothing.

“Please go after her,” Jay softly said, “I can’t have my family broken up like this.”

Jake slowly stood up, “Is she at the house?”

Jay nodded, “I called her right after Shotaro texted me.”

Jake moved fast. Taking the quickest shower he’s ever done. Brushed his teeth, fixed his hair, and threw on the clothes Jay pulled from his closet.

It meant a lot to Jake that Jay finally and fully accepted your and Jake’s relationship. It gave him the motivation he needed.

Jake picked up his necklace from his dresser and placed it around his neck. It is the first time it’s touched his skin since he gave it to you.

With his keys in his hands, he was out the door and in his car, making his way to you.

The house was quiet. Your parents were at some beginning of summer party with your father's coworkers.

The only sound was the air conditioner turning on and off and the wind chimes that hung on the back porch blowing in the summer wind.

You shifted positions on the couch more times than you could count.

The silence was driving you crazy. You were praying for your parents to be home when you got here. You couldn’t even nap if you wanted to. You weren’t tired.

You got up from the couch and aimlessly walked around. Opening closet doors, going through the movie rack in the living room, and even rearranging your mother's books on her bookshelf that sat in the corner of the living room.

You looked in the laundry room, seeing visions of you and Jake doing your laundry together. Then found yourself looking into the guest bedroom, the visions of your brother, Sunghoon, Heeseung, and Jake as children playing in this room, then the vision faded, replacing the three stooges all grown up and sleeping peacefully, you crawling into bed with Jake to wake him up for breakfast being ready before it was time to leave to go back to each other colleges.

You were now upstairs, staring into your bedroom, remembering every night Jake would sneak in here.

You found yourself outside on the back porch, staring down at the hot tub the five of you built together.

Without thinking, you pulled the cover off the tub and turned it on, watching the bubbles form.

It may be summer now, but late spring air still hangs around, the weather still being perfect to sit in the hot tub.

You pulled your tank top over your head and stepped out of your shorts, leaving you in just your bra and panties.

Jake parked his car at the curb, never being so thankful for his feet to touch solid ground in his life as his legs rushed him to the front door.

He gripped the door handle, twisting it to find it locked.

“YN!!” he shouted, knocking loudly but receiving no answer.

Jake felt his hands sweating, eyes darting around the front porch trying to remember where your parents hid the spare key to the front door, ultimately finding it in the pot with the fake rose bush.

He unlocked the door, quickly rushing in and slamming the door behind him, “YN!!”

Still no answer.

Jake got nervous. Your parents' cars weren’t in the driveway but yours was. But you weren’t answering and that’s what made him shake.

“YN!” he called for you again, stomping his feet up the stairs, seeing your bedroom empty except for your duffle bags all over the floor.

He ran back downstairs, checking the guest room, then finally stepped into the kitchen, seeing you sitting in the hot tub.

Jake quickly pushed the glass door open, “YN,”

You jumped at the sound of his voice, quickly turning around, your heart fluttering at seeing his voice.

“Jake?? What are you doing here?!”

You stepped out of the hot tub, meeting him halfway. His hands not missing a beat in pulling you towards him and embracing you, the water from your body soaking his shirt.

“Don’t go,” he whined, the tears starting to form in his eyes, “Don’t make that choice.”

As much as you loved being in his arms again, you softly pushed away from him, taking a few steps back.

“Jake, the choice has already been made.”

“Then unmake it!” he begged, “Come back to the apartment with me! Everyone misses you, I miss you!”

You looked away from him and down at the porch, your clothes being seen from your peripherals, reminding you of the thin pink laced bra that didn’t cover up much, and pink panties were all that you were wearing.

You covered yourself with your arms, giving Jake the ‘turn around’ look.

Jake didn’t even realize you were basically naked, all he cared about was wanting to see you again. He couldn’t help but laugh.

“This isn’t funny asshole!” you snapped.

“YN, I’ve seen you naked and bent over in multiple different positions more times than I can count on my hands and feet, you don’t have to cover yourself up like a shy high school girl.”

You knew he was right, and his continued laugh only made a small laugh leave your lips as well.

You relaxed your body again and locked eyes with him, “Why did you come here, Jake?”

“Because I know I fucked up. Because I know I didn’t take care of my past the way I should have. I said such hurtful things to you. I did such hurtful things. I let my jealousy over Osaki blind me, I let Stella treat you the way she did and if I knew sooner what she was doing towards you I would have stopped it sooner.”

He was being so honest and sincere, you could see it written all over his face, “Jake…”

“Baby please,” he pleaded, his eyes glossing over once again, “I can’t do life without you. I love you for fuck sales and I’ll be damned if I just let you up and walk away from me again. I need you. And if you give me one final chance to make it right, I’ll treat you so good I swear it. Things will go back to how they were but be even better.”

Your legs moved on their own and stopped right in front of him. Your hand cupped his face, thumb wiping the tear that fell, “I don’t want to hurt anymore,” you whispered.

“Baby girl I won’t ever hurt you again, your brother would murder me if I did.” he laughed, relaxing his face into your touch, “I love you. Please come back home.”

You felt your own tears falling down your face, his hands reaching up and wiping them away, “I love you so much,” you cried, “I was so lost without you.”

“I know baby,” he whispered, pulling your head to his chest, “I was barely alive without you.”

Jay paced back and forth in the living room, biting his nails in a nervous habit.

“You’re creating a draft,” Sunghoon groaned, “Sit the fuck down, will you? You’re making me nervous.”

“Neither one of them is answering their phones,” your brother said with a worried tone, “What if she killed him?”

Heeseung rolled his eyes, “If anyone has the right to murder him it’s you, not sit down.”

Jay just nodded, his ass hovering over the recliner chair barely sitting down when the front door opened, causing everyone to stand to their feet.

Jake walked into the apartment, his eyes looking over his three friends.

Jay’s body deflated, his heart stopping at not seeing you by Jake’s side. It didn’t work.

“Goddamn,” you said, dropping your bags onto the floor, your finger sliding across the front table where everyone keeps their car keys, “I leave for a little over a month and you guys can’t even dust?”

The three boys stood in silence at your presence, their eyes seeing the silver double-linked chain necklace resting against your collarbones.

You raised a brow at them, “What? Can’t answer for not keeping this place clean?!”

With no words being said, Jay was now in front of you, his arms wrapping around you in a tight hug. Sunghoon and Heeseung appear at your sides, joining the hug and pulling Jake in too.

“Don’t ever fucking leave us again,” your brother said, obviously forcing himself to hold back from crying.

“I miss you guys too,” you whispered, nuzzling your head in your brother’s neck as he squeezed you tighter.

Jay cooked a massive dinner that night. Jake finally fills himself up from the meals he’s missed.

The apartment was finally back at its normal level of loudness and full of life.

Music blasted through the portable speakers in the living room, everyone dancing and drinking. Finally, just have a party in the comfort of their home.

Jake pulled you into him, placing soft kisses on your lips, the corners of his lips curling into a smile.

“You’re mine forever, understand?” he whispered in between kisses.

“Forever.” you agreed.

You spent the rest of the night with your boys dancing and drinking until you each fell asleep on the living room floor.

This was your family. And you were finally back home.

#jake bby #sim jaeyun #sim jake #reader x sim jake #sim jake x reader #jake x reader #enhypen #enhypen x reader #reader x enhypen #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen smut #sim jake smut #established relationship #yeonzzzn writing #off limits trilogy

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 2 months

Text

ask me to leave and i’ll stay forever ; satoru gojo

synopsis; satoru is stubborn; even when plagued by such a high fever, he insists there’s no need to take care of him. thankfully, you’re equally as stubborn.

word count; 10.8k

contents; satoru gojo/reader, gn!reader, implied non-sorcerer!reader, sickfic, reverse comfort, sickening amounts of fluff, lots of petnames, satoru gojo vs the mortifying ordeal of being loved, just a tinyyyy bit of angst if u rlly squint, literally just satoru being pampered for like 10k words straight, he’s cute when he’s sick but still manages to be a lil shit <33, he’s also a huge sap you have been warned!!

a/n; what can i say, im a proud member of the ”satoru gojo needs to be babied relentlessly” club <33 he’s just a little guy!! tagging @catchuuu my beloved for being the sweetest enjoy a healthy dose of sick sleepy satoru <33 i am tagging all toru enjoyers in spirit btw i love u all

you’ve never seen satoru like this before.

head buried into a big pillow, white locks tousled and sticking to his forehead — skin sweaty, hot to the touch, with a flushed face to match. heavy breaths fall from his parted lips, blinking in and out of consciousness, squeezing his eyes shut.

it’s nothing like the joyous, loud, cocky satoru you’re so used to. he’s weak. he’s fatigued.

he’s completely, undoubtedly sick.

”really, baby,” he slurs, raspy and dry. still attempting to raise himself up, arms straining under the weight of his shivering body. ”there’s no need f’ —”

unceremoniously, his limbs give out beneath him, and he tumbles right back down; a meek little wince escaping his throat as his face falls back into the mattress. the sound makes your heart squeeze tightly in your chest.

”ah. that’s…” he tries to speak, a disgruntled hum muffled by the sheets. ”… annoying.”

satoru sounds frustrated. you can tell he’s resisting the urge to close his eyes, a little helpless, unable to even move properly, like a fish out of water. he’s still breathing unevenly, still sweating, still burning up — you can practically feel it, from where you’re standing, crouched down by his bed.

you’ve never, ever seen satoru like this. you’ve seen him sniffling during flu season, wrecked with headaches during rainy season. you’ve seen him vulnerable; not many times, but enough that it matters.

but you’ve never seen him like this.

(and it makes you terribly anxious.)

”satoru, please just —” you croak, gnawing at your bottom lip. trying desperately to swallow the worry in your chest. ”don’t overdo it. please?”

you can hear the anxious little timbre of your own voice, and you can feel the frown tugging at your lips. but you can’t do anything to quell the insistent pitter patter of your heartbeat, the ache that accompanies it. satoru’s lying down, still trying to gather the strength to reassure you, even through the feverish haze clouding his mind.

he looks so small.

this wasn’t what you were expecting to see, today. you were expecting to meet up with satoru, and see his happy little grin, those tiny dimples and freckles that only show themselves in the light of the sun. you were expecting to feel the weight of his hand in yours, as you strolled down to the new crêpe stand he’s been wanting to check out since he first found their instagram account.

you were expecting to see him happy. healthy. a little obnoxious, a little annoying — but hopelessly sweet. all the love you could ever need, molded into a human shape. your little angel.

a sigh slips from your lips. you can’t help it; because satoru is just so stubborn, so closed off, and he can be such an idiot sometimes. you knew something was off the moment he sent you that text, asking you oh so charmingly, apologetically, if you could postpone your date for just an hour or so. you knew something was wrong, but he still wouldn’t let up until you brought out the 🥺 emojis.

and then he told you he was fine. it’s all he ever is, apparently.

my throat’s just a little scratchy, is all. wouldn’t want you to miss out on the voice you love so much, yeah?

give me an hour and i’ll be perfect for you. <3

moron.

he’s curled up in a fetal position, trying to stop himself from shivering, muttering little reassurances under his breath that you can’t make out. wearing ripped jeans and a nice jacket, like he was fully prepared to head out like this — like he genuinely thought an hour, some painkillers and a dream would be enough to chase away a fever this severe. like he was so desperate to see you he was fully willing to take that risk.

moron. moron. he should’ve called you the moment he realized he was sick. instead, you had to coax him into letting you come over, with a flurry of sad and cute emojis you know make him go weak at the knees when they’re coming from you.

and here you are. in satoru’s house, in front of his bed, trying to convince him that he is, in fact, sick.

but he just won’t listen.

”just — gimme a couple minutes, honey?” your boyfriend mumbles, barely coherent, stringing words together haphazardly. awfully dizzy. ”i just need the painkillers to kick in, i promise i —”

”satoru.”

there’s a sad tint to your voice, now. unmistakable. one that satoru notices, even through the feverish, muddy filter over his reality.

and it makes him quiet down.

(he doesn’t want to disappoint you.)

as gently as you can, you settle down on the bed, eyes painfully softened. overflowing with care. towering over him, leaning close — to press your lips against his scorching forehead, brushing away his sweaty bangs with a palpable tenderness. your voice soothing, coming out almost as a low coo. you’re frustrated, and exasperated.

but most of all, you’re worried.

”go back to sleep,” you hum, a gentle command. your hand finds his, cold skin meeting warm, tracing circles over his palm. ”i’ll take care of you.”

”there’s no need,” he mutters, instantaneous. so used to denying kindness.

but he curls an arm around your waist, anyway, tugging you closer; a little needy. like you’re much too far away for his liking. finally beginning to settle down, coaxed into resting by the soft touches your grace him with. it’s only a matter of time.

so you keep your lips against his forehead, cradling his slender fingers in yours, murmuring little whispered reassurances. and before you know it, his lashes have fluttered shut, like a white dove landing on the ground. he still looks so troubled, so meek. you can’t resist the urge to soothe him, hand cupping his face, thumb smoothing over the apple of his cheek. you watch him lean into it, eyes dripping with care. your poor baby.

for a couple precious moments, you allow yourself to indulge in the sight. even like this, he looks a bit like an angel, a painting come to life. like one wrong brushstroke could smudge him.

so you’re delicate, as you trace little hearts into his skin, delicate as you maneuver his body enough to peel the layers of clothing off him — leaving him in only an oversized tee and a pair of briefs. satoru can only whine, softly, so quiet you barely even hear him. so disoriented, on the brink of falling into a deep slumber. some part of him is trying to resist, you’re sure, still agonizing over the date he’s missing out on. as if anything matters more than his health.

but it doesn’t work. he can only let out a tiny groan, hopelessly pliant as you tuck him in, pulling a big blanket over his shoulders. you card through his hair, another soft kiss planted on his sweaty forehead — and your hand stays between his locks until you’re sure he’s asleep. his breathing mellows out, his grip around your waist loosens, seeking comfort from you even in his dreams.

you’d crawl under the blankets with him, but you have work to do.

stealing one final glance at your fever-ridden lover, your heartbeat ricochets. he still looks so meek, all warm and sweaty, shirt sticking to his skin. a frown tugs at your bottom lip.

satoru is always so stubborn, refusing to lean on others for support. you wish he had called you immediately, nagged at you to come baby him. sure, you might’ve sighed in faux exasperation, and teased him a little, but it still would’ve made you feel happy. useful. and you would’ve done it in a heartbeat. maybe, if you just prove that you can take care of him properly, he’ll do it next time.

so you stand up, leaning down to press your lips against his forehead one last time, and make your way towards the kitchen.

satoru’s house is spacious. a little too spacious, enough for at least three people to live in comfortably; nice furniture, an expensive sofa in the living room, a large tv you’re almost certain he only keeps around for white noise. such are the ways of the rich, you suppose. he doesn’t invite you over very often, so you’ve never had the chance to get very affiliated with the space. it’s always the other way around — him, waiting for you on the couch when you get home, chirping out an unconvincing don’t even worry about it, baby! when you ask how he got in without a key. or him, showing up at your doorstep in the middle of the night, filling the sleepy silence with jokes to distract you from the bags under his eyes.

(he likes it when you cling to him in your sleep — he sleeps a lot better that way. that’s what he told you, at least, when you brought him coffee in bed that one time. a little glimmer of honesty.)

he stays over so often he might as well just move in, but you aren’t really sure how to even approach that subject. some part of you fears it’d be too much, too intimate, that he’d pack his bags and run away. bringing all his secrets with him, that soft laughter you’ve grown so fond of. so you figure it’s better to let him make a home out of yours, let him curl up on your couch and snack on the candy you hid in your kitchen cabinets. that’s safe for him.

and now that you’ve seen his home up close — if you can even call it that — you think you’re starting to understand his preference. because it’s spacious, yes, but also empty. save for expensive furniture and fake houseplants, there isn’t anything to indicate that the apartment belongs to him, that he feels comfortable there. like he hasn’t even bothered to make it his. like it’s about to be sold, and you’re just one of the potential buyers, checking the place out. admiring the patterns of the floorboards and the walls.

it doesn’t feel like satoru at all.

his own bedroom was another story, a much more pleasant one. a lot more satoru. filled with little trinkets, key charms and souvenirs and silly figurines. a framed photo of three students by the windowsill, an old uniform hanging by his closet, socks strewn about here and there. a dying houseplant. comic books and movie posters and a ps5 you don’t think he’s touched since he finished spiderman 2. a king sized bed, that makes him look like a spoiled little princess when he’s lying in it, next to a cat plushie you won for him at a fair. knowing he actually sleeps with it kind of makes you want to cry.

there’s this particular scent, too, lingering in the air. mellow, nostalgic, the kind that soothes you with just a whiff; a blend between sunlight, expensive cologne, and something sweet. it clings to all his favorite clothes, to his skin. you’d live in it if you could.

something constricts, inside your chest — like thorny vines strangling your beating heart, pressing down ever so slightly. just thinking about it, about him, about his distressed expression as his head hit the pillow. making your way over to his kitchen, getting yourself affiliated with the space, preparing to make a good soup for his fever. the fridge is almost empty, save for sweets and that one drink you like. the takeout boxes on his kitchen table tells you all you need to know.

it only makes you worry more.

luckily, you were clever enough to buy your own ingredients on the way here. chop, chop, into tiny little pieces. chicken soup should help, shouldn’t it? it’s all you can focus on, all you can hope for. anything is fine; you just want to help him, be of use somehow. he does so much for you.

you just want to give some of it back.

satoru’s loneliness is a subtle thing. flexible, alert, slipping away at the slightest sign of knowing eyes. for someone who’s so often surrounded by people, cracking jokes and laughing louder than anyone else, he doesn’t seem to make any noise when he’s alone. he curls into himself, just a bit, and a kind of reminiscence smooths over the contours of his face.

that’s when you see him. that lonely, lonely guy. resigned to his self-imposed isolation, paradoxically yearning for something more. watching as the cherry trees bloom, like they’ll give him the answers he seeks once they bear fruit.

but the moment you come into view, he smiles. knowing you won’t push it — that you’ll let him take his time. that you’ll let him flee, just a little.

still, you can’t help but wish he’d lean on you a little more. you wish you could chase his loneliness away with a pitchfork, but it’s a fickle creature. you somehow doubt he wants to part with it.

all you can do is love him. love him, love him, and love him some more; until he’s had his fill.

(you’re not sure he ever will. it’s a good thing, a very good thing, because you’re almost certain you’ll never run out.)

and that’s why you’re here. in his ghost of a home, his kitchen, pouring water into a large pot. tender, sprinkling love over every single action, every slice and dice, every piece of chicken and veggies thrown into the boiling water. you try and you try, hoping it’ll reach him.

but before you can make another attempt, something reaches you, instead.

two long arms curl around your waist, suddenly, something warm and soft pressing itself against your back. and you almost flinch, completely caught up in the stirring of the soup, unsure of how much time has passed since you began. it jolts you out of your thoughts.

you know who it is, though. never mind the fact that he’s the only other person in the apartment; you know it’s him by his touch alone, the weight of his arms, that particular scent that surrounds him. like memories of summer.

it’s awfully sweet, the way he clings to you, the soft little blissful sigh that slips from his lips. but before you can feel moved at the domesticity of the gesture, worry clouds your senses. he doesn’t even get the chance to speak.

”satoru —” you place a palm on his forearm, craning your head to look back at him. his forehead rests against your shoulder, and his eyes are closed. he’s still so warm, too warm. ”what are you doing here? you should be resting.”

your boyfriend mumbles something, under his breath, something that your ears can’t quite digest. he shifts, a little, as if getting ready to put on some sort of act — to smile and joke, or laugh and tease you. you can imagine what he’d say if he wasn’t in such a feverish state; he’d hug you from behind, a low purr of what’cha up to? whispered right into your ear. then you’d jolt, and he’d giggle sheepishly, satisfied with the reaction.

but now, all he can do is cough. still leaning against you, gripping onto your midriff a little more desperately than usual. you step away from the stove, turning around, making sure your hands never leave his. looking up at him with concern in your eyes, noticing his little frown.

”c’mon, you need to lie down.” you reach for his cheek, cupping it in your palm, and he practically melts into it. enjoying the chilly sensation to his fever-ridden skin. “the soup’ll be finished soon, okay?”

”… you made,” he tries, syllables falling from his lips haphazardly. ”soup —” a series of coughs. they cut him off, and the worry in your chest only deepens.

“don’t push yourself, okay? you’re really sick, dummy.” satoru pouts, but doesn’t say anything, only clinging to you tighter when you usher him away. “let’s go back to your room, alright?”

but he won’t budge. he’s so sleepy, so sick and delirious, putting all his body weight on you. you try your best not to stumble beneath it.

”honey,” you plead, holding him securely in your embrace. his arms around your waist, your hands on his shoulders. ”work with me, please? just gotta get you back to bed —”

”’s…” he whispers, suddenly, a raspy little thing. scratchy, meek, awfully earnest; you wonder if he’s too sick not to be. ”… too lonely without you.”

a moment passes. your breath hitches pitifully, at the base of your throat.

satoru is hugging you so tightly, as if you could disappear at any moment, slip away if he doesn’t keep you close. he’s holding you as if pleading for comfort, for a touch of safety. as if he needs you. if his meek little admission hadn’t already melted your heart the marrow, that thought certainly would’ve done the job.

taking a moment to collect yourself, you inhale, face surely aflame. satoru just nuzzles into your shoulder, too tired to say anything else, wanting to be close to you. it’s a wonder your knees don’t buckle.

gently, you let your hand trail upwards, palm smoothing down his hair. softly, like he’s a clingy, overgrown cat. ”sorry,” you start, just a little breathless. ”i’ll be with you, okay? won’t leave you alone. i promise.”

there’s an earnesty in your words that you doubt you could ever fake. satoru must hear it too, you think, because he finally begins to work with you. allowing you to stumble towards his bedroom, supporting his weight.

but once you make it to his bed, he still refuses to let go of you.

”toru, gotta go finish that soup. ’n make you some tea.” you rub his back, soothingly, as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck. shaking his head and emitting a throaty groan, only squeezing you tighter when you try to guide him under the covers. how cruel of him, to act so cute when said soup is most likely boiling over by the stove. ”please, sweetie? it won’t take long. i promise. you can go back to sleep.”

another groggy huff. you’re both still standing by the edge of the bed, and satoru still won’t let you leave. all you can do is sigh, smearing a little kiss against his neck.

he squirms, ever so slightly, and you get an idea.

so you keep pressing little kisses against his skin, knowing just how to make him melt. feeling him relax in your embrace, snuggle into your chest, so pliant that he lets you tuck him in — as long as your lips stay pressed against his jaw. before he can realize what’s happening, you grab hold of the blanket, draping it over him; his half-lidded eyes blinking up at you. you press a final kiss against his forehead, grabbing the cat plushie from the edge of the bed and placing it close enough for satoru to reach if need be.

”i’ll hurry, toru. be a good boy and stay here, alright?”

a teasing lilt sneaks into your voice, coaxed out by how adorable your boyfriend looks like this; baby blue eyes all droopy, snowy hair messy as it falls across the cushion he’s resting on. blinking sluggishly, grunting a little in response.

when you scurry off the bed and make your way towards the door, you glance back at him. he’s still looking in your direction, with half-lidded eyes, and your chest aches. ”i’ll be back soon, baby,” you try to soothe him. “try to sleep.”

this time, you hurry. body working almost on autopilot, images of your boyfriend still tugging at your heartstrings like he’s arranging an orchestra, moving your legs forward. before you know it, you’re walking back, carrying a tray with both your hands. steam wafts up from the hot soup and the warm cup of tea, shaking a little as you walk, a pair of painkillers in your pocket. just in case he needs more. an eager, pulsating joy rushes through your veins — now you can be with him, tend to him, not leave him alone in a room so like him you wish you could stay there forever.

your footsteps are light, almost careful as they cross the threshold. satoru stirs, waiting for you to come to his side, looking like a kicked puppy in his giant bed. he tries to lift himself up, but it looks like it requires an intense amount of focus, like his elbows could buckle any second.

”careful,” you croon, hurrying over, placing the tray on the nightstand. gently pushing him back down on the mattress. he complies almost instantly, too out of it to put up a real fight. staring at you, as if in awe.

to satoru, you appear almost as an angel, a somewhat blurry figure that he recognizes without looking. your very presence is soothing, like a lullaby in human form. with the hazy filter clouding his mind, he can’t even seem to form words correctly — all satoru can focus on is you. your movements, the lilt of your voice, a cold hand dulling the heat of his forehead.

his fever still hasn’t gone down. you try and muster a smile, but you’re sure it must look painfully coated in unease. crouching down, you place your elbows on the bed, your jaw meeting the mattress. you’re at eye level with him, now.

”hey,” you start, low and comforting. you don’t want to be too loud. ”sorry it took so long.”

using what little energy he has left, satoru crosses the distance between you, inching closer and closer. noticing it, you reach a hand out to cup his cheek — lips quick to find his forehead. a barely audible sigh leaves him, and you smile.

”d’you think you can eat?” you whisper, gazing at him fondly. treating him a little like a baby, maybe, but you can’t help it when he’s like this. quiet as a mouse. ”i made soup and tea… sound okay?”

he tries to make a noise. it comes out sounding like a strange blend between a dissatisfied groan and an affirming hum, but he still ends up nodding slightly. you wonder if indulging you is ingrained into his bone structure.

”… okay. think you can sit up, toru?”

once again, your boyfriend only hums — but he does begin to move, trying to hoist himself up, wobbling pitifully. you help, keeping him steady until his spine meets the headboard. slumped against it, he blinks slowly, feverishly.

”thank you.” you press a chaste kiss against his cheek, before reaching for the cup of tea, the scent of chamomile and lavender filling your senses. you blow on it softly. ”here. it should help with your throat, so try to drink a bit, okay? s’ got honey in it.”

silently, he accepts the cup, bringing it to his lips. when he takes a sip, you catch the slightest hint of a grimace on his lips; even with your warning of careful, it’s hot, you think he must have managed to burn his tongue.

satoru keeps his thoughts to himself, not wanting to worry you. but he can’t say bringing himself to drink it is an easy endeavor, with how sweaty it makes him feel, how it forces him to acknowledge how painfully dry his throat is. how he can’t even taste the herbs.

he wants to be good for you, though.

so he gulps it down, slowly, managing to sip almost all of it until you decide to give him a break. compared to this morning, he already feels just a little better, a little less like he’s in a fever dream. you’re sitting by the bedside, so patient, so caring. he can’t take his eyes off you, even now. clearing his throat, attempting to get used to speaking again. ”thanks.”

the mutter sounds strained, but slightly easier on the ears, easier to make out than before. courtesy of the honey, you assume. gosh, you hadn’t realized you’d begun to miss his voice so much.

”no problem,” you hum, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. “think you can eat something? or is that too much?”

”’course,” he croaks. there’s a slight sense of liveliness in his eyes that wasn’t there before, but before he can continue, he’s caught off by a small coughing fit. harmless, but sufficient in making you worry.

”no need to force yourself,” you soothe, patting down his head, watching as he quiets down. the tea might’ve given him a temporary energy boost, but you still don’t want him to overdo it. “just relax, satoru.”

he hums, weakly, and you reward him with a light ruffle of his hair. then you direct your attention to the soup on the nightstand, still hot, smelling of vegetable broth and fresh chicken and coriander. you bring the bowl down to your lap, and take a spoonful of the soup, blowing on it like you did with the tea. bringing it towards his lips.

”i dunno if it’ll taste very good,” you admit, scratching absently at the back of your neck. ”but it should help with the fever, at least. i’d be happy if you could eat a bit.”

as his lips make contact with the metal of the spoon, satoru can’t help but let himself be swept away. he still feels a little too hazy, too feverish to really comprehend what’s happening; he feels oddly bare like this, vulnerable, a little afraid of what might come out of his mouth if he doesn’t keep it shut. so he opts to accept the treatment he’s receiving, not putting up a fight or making a fuss. not meeting your expectant eyes.

(he feels a little shy, being spoonfed by you. how very unlike him.)

the soup does feel soothing. he thinks he can even get a sense of the taste, how hard you must’ve worked on it. but more than anything, the way you’re acting is like balm to his soul — looking at him so kindly, treating him so tenderly. offering him spoon after spoon with gentle words of encouragement. being babied in such a way makes him feel so oddly content that he’s almost embarrassed. it should be the other way around.

yet here you are, spoonfeeding him soup that you made yourself, because he’s sick, even though he hates to admit it, and you care about him. he allows the information to linger in the back of his head, for a while, wallowing in the comfort it brings him. fully comprehending it would take too much of a toll on him, in this state.

satoru basks in the intimacy of the situation, and so do you. brushing strands of hair away when they stick to his skin, pressing your lips against his forehead to check his temperature. you keep doing it until satoru’s appetite dwindles.

”alright, that should be fine —” you glance down at the bowl, now roughly half-empty. more than enough, you think. ”uhh… how do you feel?”

”… better,” satoru answers, truthfully, the ghost of a smile on his glossy lips. ”thank you.”

for a second, you only stare, saying nothing. there’s something in satoru’s expression that catches you off guard, something that’s a little hard to identify. is it the way the light reflects off his skin, his pupils? the red, feverish flush of his skin? that flimsy little smile? or is it the honesty in his eyes, the way he’s looking at you like he’s trying to convey something he can’t put into words?

as you look at him, take him in, the boy you love so dearly, you can’t help but feel like he just carved open his chest — let you peek inside his ribcage. it’s hard not to feel flustered, in the presence of something so vulnerable.

and he’s thanking you. as if taking care of him is a great burden, a chore, something you’d demand gratitude for. you want to tell him that it’s the bare minimum, the very least of what he deserves. the very least of what you could, should do for him.

you want to tell him that he’s safe, here. that there’s no need to be the strongest, whatever the hell that means, that he can let go of the burdens you know he hides from you. that he can just be your sick, terribly stubborn boyfriend.

”… okay,” is all you breathe out, every other word getting stuck in the back of your throat. ”that’s good.”

satoru’s fingers curl around yours, suddenly, where they lay on your lap. his movements are still a little groggy, disoriented, as he brings your hand up to his lips. they’re warm and soft, especially so in light of his fever. he closes his eyes, white lashes catching the light of the sun, flitting in through the haphazardly closed blinds. your heartbeat stutters.

”… love you,” he mutters. a soft little thing. your eyes don’t leave his face. and your lips part before your brain can instruct them to.

”i love you too,” you blurt out, instantaneous. like you couldn’t bear to keep him waiting, even for a second. ”… satoru.”

he smiles against your skin. he always does, at the sound of those words. you make him feel so terribly, terribly weak, all the time, everyday. you make him feel so human, and he can’t bring himself to think of it as a bad thing anymore.

he’s still cradling your hand when he brings it down to the blanket. ”thanks for coming,” he continues, pushing himself. trying to get the words out while he still has the energy to say them. “you didn’t have to.”

they’re a little clumsy, a little stale on his tongue, but they’re honest. he is thankful — the prospect of being seen like this is discomforting, gruelingly so, but he doesn’t mind nearly as much if it’s you. he’d never tell you, but he did feel just a little lonely, when he woke up this morning. disoriented, enveloped by hot flashes of pain, in a way he’s not used to in the slightest. missing out on your date, too, that he had been looking forward to ever since you decided on a time.

but, as if sensing it, you came to his rescue. the feeling of your lips on his skin was the first sensation he felt, when he woke up for the second time — with you by his side, this time. his guardian angel, carrying the scent of spring with you. a memory of a certain boy, of better times.

(satoru thinks you’re nostalgia personified. he likes to imagine that you met as children, underneath a cherry tree somewhere, but he knows it’s not true. there’s no way he wouldn’t remember you.)

you smile. pleased, at his show of vulnerability, small as it may be. ”i wanted to,” you assure him. equally honest, equally full of double meanings and hidden messages that neither of you need to uncover to understand. ”… i care about you. of course i’d come.”

a light, raspy chuckle; that’s all satoru manages to vocalize. his mind is stuffed, and there’s an ache in his chest, longing to be filled. it’s been there for a while now. but somehow, you seem to fill it up, slowly but surely, almost effortlessly — with every sound you make, every slight movement, every flicker of an expression on your face. everything seems so effortlessly perfect, in his eyes.

the words leave his lips before his mind can think the thought to reel them back in.

”what did i do to deserve you…?”

you blink. a moment passes.

then your eyes soften, considerably so, crumbling at the corners like the cookies satoru loves so much. he’s looking at you, eyes soft in a similar sense, layered over with adoration. you think the love inside your chest might crawl out of your throat and eat him alive.

you give him a chuckle of your own, quivering slightly. terribly fond. this time, you’re the one who drags his hand up to meet your lips; kissing his knuckle softly. his breath hitches.

”i’m the one who should be saying that to you,” you grin, a little weakly. and you mean it. you don’t think you’ve ever meant anything more.

it’s so honest that it strikes a cord right down his heart, more heat than the fever can account for rushing to his cheeks. satoru hopes you don’t notice it. all he can do is squeeze your fingers, lightly, not trusting his voice not to break. silence lingers, and you only gaze at him softly.

”… do you want anything else?” you finally ask, with a tilt of your head. still so eager to assist, racking your brain to come up with anything else to do for him. ”i’ll get it for you, no matter what it is.”

and, truthfully, satoru thinks you’ve done more than enough. more than he could ever make up for. but he’s always been greedy, and there’s one thing, only one thing, one thing he can’t help but ask for. something he craves more than anything. he can’t help but indulge himself, indulge in his selfishness, in the need to feel your skin against his.

so he stretches his arms out, and looks at you with a distinctly needy glint in his eyes. his fingers move in a grabby motion, almost unconsciously, and he might’ve been embarrassed if he wasn’t still so feverish. all he wants is to keep you close, to make the hollowness inside his chest dissipate. you always make that lonely feeling go away.

needless to say, you heed his request. almost instantly, your heart pumping in a steady rhythm, with this visceral desire to keep him close, to protect him. and who are you to resist, when he’s asking you for it himself?

you waste no time crawling beneath the covers, situating yourself right next to your lover. only then do you finally, finally, reach your arms out to pull him close; so close you feel the heat of his skin, the beat of his heart. his cheek meets the softness of your chest, snuggling closer, and you card a hand through his soft locks. his arms reach around your midriff, a perfect puzzle piece, and he releases an audible sigh — deep and satisfied. in his tired, clingy state, he subconsciously throws a leg over yours, trapping you further.

you wouldn’t have it any other way.

finally, satoru can fall asleep. with the fever still clouding his senses, and your nimble fingers smoothing along his scalp, the occasional kiss to his head as he listens to your soft heartbeat, he’s drifted off before either of you know it. melting into you, into your warm embrace, cheek squished against your chest. tiny little breaths fall from his lips, and you feel like you’re cradling the whole world in your arms.

you’re relieved. making yourself comfortable on your back, with satoru sleeping soundly on top of you, hoping he’ll feel better when he wakes up. careful, even with your breathing, intent on letting him sleep. knowing he doesn’t get nearly as much rest as he should, most days.

before long, even you succumb to the cozy atmosphere, gradually dozing off. satoru is always warm, even more so now, and his weight is comforting.

stifling a yawn, you tug him a little bit closer, allowing your eyes to flutter shut. you could use a day of catching up on lost sleep, too.

when you wake up, you’re acutely aware of something poking your cheek.

it’s a ticklish sensation, sort of irritating, and it rouses you from your cozy slumber. disgruntled, so cruelly ripped away from your sweet dreams — satoru was in it, you think. you feel robbed.

still, you can’t be too mad. not when the real deal is right in front of you, eyes crinkled and full of warmth, a teasing smile on his lips. he’s still snuggled into your chest, all cozy and cute, as you lay on your back, propped up by a myriad of fluffy pillows. he looks up at you adoringly.

”well hello there,” he purrs, shooting a giddy little grin your way. still poking your cheek. ”wakey-wakey, sunshine!”

a series of blinks. you stir a little further, the sleepy haze of your brain beginning to slip off, slowly but surely. it takes a couple of seconds for you to remember why you’re here, what happened before you fell asleep.

”… hey,” you greet, at last, stifling a yawn and squeezing your eyes shut. stretching lazily, like a sleepy cat. ”how do you feel…?”

”i’m perfect. better than perfect, actually,” satoru chirps, a little cheeky, hoisting himself up so that he’s hovering above you. a hint of mischief in those pretty eyes. ”you’re a good nurse, y’know?”

you huff out a chuckle. as always, his actions reveal more than his words — you could tell he felt a lot better the moment you saw his smile, heard how he formed his words. “alright, that’s good,” you hum, exhaling softly. ”how long was i asleep? what time is it?”

”i woke up just now, too,” satoru lies, albeit a small one. he did wake up recently, only to spend what he thinks must’ve been at least fifteen minutes staring at you until he physically couldn’t take it anymore. he had to hear your voice, see your smile. it’s a personal record for him; usually he spends less time admiring your peaceful expression, far too eager to speak to you.

”it’s pretty late,” he continues, another small lie. pleased with himself. ”way too late for you to go back, actually. how about you spend the night?”

another blink, your eyelids heavy and droopy as they open and close. then you’re reaching for your phone on the nightstand, and checking the time. a smile is quick to bloom on your lips, teasing and bubbly, as you tilt your head to meet his gaze.

”it’s only four, satoru.”

”way, way too late,” he only reaffirms, flopping down on top of you again, keeping you from leaving. ”god knows what kinda creeps are out there at this hour — much too unsafe. i’m just looking out for you, baby.”

”of course,” you indulge him, a sly little roll of your eyes that makes him pout. ”you know i was planning on staying over anyway, right?”

”well, of course! i wouldn’t expect anything less from my favorite nurse.”

his eyes betray his words, gleaming with a sudden colour of excitement, all glitter and relief. a joy that clogs up his throat like seafoam, and spills out from his lips. you look down at him, for a second, unable to resist the temptation — reaching for his forehead with the back of your hand.

it’s significantly less scalding, now.

you let out a sigh, laced with relief, one you didn’t know you’d been holding in. ”it really has gone down,” you hum, stretching the sleep from your limbs again. “that’s good.”

satoru huffs. ”i said i was perfect, right? don’t you trust me, my sweet lover?”

”i never know with you,” you give him a huff of your own, exasperated. fond. “you said you were just fine this morning, too.”

”i was!” he whines. piling up lie after lie. “i totally could’ve made it to that date, you know. i got worse because you had no faith in my abilities.”

”right. of course.” you shoot him a lopsided grin. ”you just don’t wanna admit the fever beat your ass, huh?”

”see? no faith.” a chuckle slips from your lips, and satoru has to bite back a smile. ”unbelievable. i fought that fever off just for you, and here you are, laughing at me.”

”oh? i thought it was thanks to my top notch nursing skills?”

”well, that too! but it was mostly me.”

a sigh. “whatever you say.” then you’re smiling, once more, unable to help yourself. eyes crinkled at the edges, soft around the corners. ”i’m just glad you’re better. i was worried.”

satoru pouts, again, but you can tell he acknowledges it — your earnest concern. this is how you love, the both of you, through words that never say it all and actions that say the words your mouths can’t fit. decoding the meaning of it all in silent gestures, glints in your eyes. little truth games.

”you really thought a lil’ fever was gonna be enough to keep me down?” he shakes his head once, then twice. and you know that what he means to say is i never want you to worry. “c’mon, now, baby.”

another lighthearted roll of your eyes. ”yeah, yeah, yeah. my sincerest apologies, my strong, stubborn, totally-not-sick boyfriend.”

”don’t you mean your strong, perfect, beautiful, clever, flawless, totally-not-sick boyfriend?”

”don’t think i didn’t notice you sneaking the stubborn out of there.”

”hehe.”

a silent moment passes, something tender filling up the space between your words. satoru’s weight is still so comforting, like a big blanket, his arms enveloping you as he breathes in your scent. you’re so happy that he’s acting insufferable again.

”alright, my honeybee,” he suddenly chirps, breaking the silence, hoisting himself up. ”time to go. we can still get those crêpes if we hurry.”

you blink. once, then twice.

”… satoru.”

”yeah? what’s up?”

you give him an unimpressed look, gazing up at him, towering over you like he fully thought you’d be alright with letting him leave. ”you’re… not going out today,” you deadpan. “you know that, right?”

this time, he’s the one who blinks. once, then twice.

”huh? why not?”

”uh, because you’re sick, maybe?”

”what?” satoru pretends to be shocked, offended, as if he can’t believe you’d even suggest something so outrageous. ”i’m all better, though!”

you raise an eyebrow, thoroughly displeased. all better? ”your fever isn’t gone, satoru. it’s just not horrible anymore. you’ll get yourself even more sick if you go out now.”

”i won’t! seriously!” he insists, looking down at you with a sorry attempt at puppy dog eyes. ”i feel good enough to run a marathon!”

”you’re not doing that either,” you mutter. then a sigh, exasperated. you can’t let this charade go on for too long. ”come on, satoru — don’t be so stubborn. we can go there another time.”

”but —”

”besides, didn’t you say i have to spend the night because it’s too late to go outside? remember the creeps?” there’s amusement in your voice, a light smile on your lips. ”what if they get us?”

”well, they obviously won’t get you while i’m there,” he huffs. ”what, you don’t think i can protect you properly? you’re hurting me, angel.”

you bite back an incredulous laugh. god, he’s stubborn. you’re so in love with him you just barely restrain the urge to pull him in for a kiss.

”sa-to-ru,” you coo, dragging each syllable out, sending a shiver down his spine. ”we’re not going outside. end of discussion.”

”why not, though?” he continues to pout, still refusing to give in. resorting to cheap guilt-tripping. ”don’t you wanna go on a date with me? you don’t want to see me happy, is that it?”

you only sigh, thoroughly exasperated, reaching up to cup his cheek nonetheless. he nuzzles into it. ”you’re such a baby.”

”your baby.”

another sigh, to mask your adoration. at this rate, the back and forth will never end, so you scramble for solutions.

“can’t we just have our date here?” you suggest, after some contemplation. ”i bought some ice cream on my way here. we could watch a movie, or something. isn’t that enough?”

satoru’s eyes bore into yours. contemplative, as he lets the silence linger, gears turning inside his mind. he wants to go outside with you, wants to hold your hand and hear you hum happily as you bite into your crêpe; wants to steal a bite when you’re not looking.

but it is a tempting offer. you could eat ice cream, and binge a bunch of movies, and he could rest his head in your lap. coax you into playing with his hair.

(he’s maybe, just maybe, a little bit tired, too.)

so, finally, he sighs — softly. in resignation.

”… well, i guess that’s fine,” he pouts, allowing himself to fall back into your embrace. his voice is muffled, as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck. ”i wanted crêpes, though…”

”i’ll get you your crepes,” you assure him, relieved to have reached a compromise. ”i can go buy ’em myself and come back. then we —”

”no, no, no!” satoru suddenly interjects. whining, tugging you closer. ”you’re not going anywhere. not without me!”

a sigh, just as adoring as it is fatigued. ”then i’ll… order crêpes, or something. or we’ll eat ice cream today and then crêpes when you’re better. does that sound okay?”

satoru is silent, for a while.

”… okay,” he hums. ”that’s fine.”

”haah. okay, good —”

”however!”

you give him a look, a silent what now? that has him smiling. shuffling a little, in your embrace, planting his jaw on top of your chest and gazing up at you with a grin. ”instead of the crêpes, i want a kiss.”

you blink. exasperated, as an amused chuckle follows. ”so convoluted. you can just ask, you know?” you don’t give him time to answer, eager to appease the pouty man. ”whatever.”

leaning in, you press a chaste kiss to his cheek. sweet and soft. to your surprise, he’s still pouting when you pull away. ”i meant on the lips,” he explains, as if it was obvious.

a tilt of your head.

”… but you’re sick.”

”so?” satoru just pouts, expression practically etched into his face at this point. ”you won’t kiss me anymore? just cause i’ve got a tiny, miniscule fever?” he huffs, turning his head to the right and shutting his eyes. ”if you don’t love me anymore, you can just say that.”

another sigh leaves your lips. he’s so ridiculous. you can’t really deny him, though.

”… fine. it’s your fault if i get sick, though.”

in the blink of an eye, he’s perked right back up. wagging his non-existent tail, closing his eyes and waiting for you to try again. silly.

but you relent. his lips are only slightly warmer than usual, and you choose to see it as the good sign it is, proof that his fever truly is starting to dissipate. you feel satoru relax, melting into the kiss, but before it can drag out too long you’ve pulled away. ”— there. happy now?”

”for now,” he quips, equally teasing. he’s cute, though. a little kiss or two is a small price to pay for the spark of joy in his iris, even if it ends with you sick on your deathbed in a couple of days.

”that’ll do,” you grin, hoisting yourself up with your elbows, carrying satoru with you, his jaw still on your chest. ”wanna go eat some ice cream, mr unreasonable?”

you don’t really need an answer. of course satoru wants ice cream. you’ve never seen him turn down anything sweet — and, lo and behold, he perks up again, getting into a sitting position. like an excited puppy.

”got it,” you chuckle, stopping to think for a moment. “there’s soup left, too. but maybe you’d rather order something? it turned out kinda so-so.”

satoru gapes. ”you kidding? that was the best soup i’ve ever had!”

his exclamation makes you roll your eyes, words so coated in confidence that you almost want to believe him. ”satoru. you don’t have to lie.”

”i’m not!”

”you couldn’t even taste it.”

”i could, i could!” he stubbornly whines. ”i tasted all your love. every single drop!”

you give him a look. he only grins at you, a little teasing, a little giddy. you can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed; averting your gaze with a sharp scoff, trying to appear unbothered. ”yeah? and how did my love taste?”

satoru leans forward. it’s sudden, and you blink, instinctively leaning back in turn. he’s wearing a signature smirk when he stops moving, close enough that you feel his breath on your skin. hot.

”delicious,” he purrs, glancing down at your lips. blue eyes gleaming with mirth. ”best thing i’ve ever had.”

you know he’s just trying to fluster you, so you try to fight against it, but it doesn’t work nearly as well as you’d like — crumbling under his gaze, averting your own with a quiet huff. and he lets you off the hook, satisfied with your embarrassed expression. pulling back slightly, letting you breathe.

as swiftly as you can, you regain your composure. clearing your throat. ”well, you can have more of it later, then,” you make a move to get off the bed. ”let’s go eat ice cream.”

after being caged in by satoru for so long, your limbs are a little stiff, caught under the weight of his boundless love. when your feet hit the soft flooring, you stretch them out, watching satoru follow your lead. still clad in that sweaty shirt.

”you should probably get a change of clothes,” you suggest, exhaling as your muscles loosen up. ”you’ve been wearing that shirt all day.”

”oh? is that an excuse to see me out of it, sweetheart?” satoru grins, fresh mischief gleaming in his eyes. ”you know you can always just ask.”

you huff out a sardonic breath. ”yeah, yeah, whatever. throw on a hoodie or something, weirdo.” you stifle a giggle when he makes an offended noise behind you. “and some pants.”

”you don’t like the underwear?” he looks towards the corner of the room, studying himself in the mirror. “this is an expensive brand, you know?”

”you’re the only person on planet earth who’d give a fuck about underwear brands,” you scoff, a little snarky. ”just — put some comfortable clothes on, okay? i’ll go get the ice cream ready.”

”wait!” he exclaims, attaching himself to you, curling his arms around your bicep. “you’re not allowed to go anywhere without me, remember?”

“… okay, okay. hurry up and get changed, then.”

sitting back down on the bed, while satoru walks towards the closet, you scroll through your phone — refusing to meet his expectant stare. he wants you to look over, you’re well aware, just so he can tease you for trying to sneak a peek. but you’re not falling for it this time.

when he’s done, he’s wearing a comfy hoodie and some sweatpants. it’s a good look on him, casual and cozy. awfully cute. he wastes no time in attaching himself to you, again, an arm linked with yours as you travel to the kitchen; grabbing the pints of ice cream from the freezer, a couple snack bags from the drawers, before plopping down on the couch.

satoru maneuvers you into his lap, and you don’t put up a fight, leaning into him as your back meets his chest. he keeps you locked in place, arms around your waist, planting his jaw on the top of your head. and he relaxes, comforted by your smaller body pressed up against his. holding you so close satisfies a certain protective itch in his brain, never failing to calm him down. a safe haven, of sorts.

you watch the movie and eat the snacks, chattering away, letting the silence linger every now and then. after a while, satoru gets a slight headache, resting his head in your lap and whining for you to soothe him. you do so without any teasing; you’re much too soft for him. and he’s still sick, even if he’s doing better. you couldn’t resist him even if you tried.

so you opt to indulge him.

”baby, i think my fever’s going up again…” satoru pouts, gazing up at you through fluttering lashes. ”can you check?”

you smile, with a raise of your eyebrow. ”this is the fifth time you’ve asked me to check your temperature, toru.”

”just wanna make sure,” he whines. “please?”

with an exaggerated sigh, you lean down, lips once again meeting his forehead — humming against his skin. nope, his temperature hasn’t gone up. just like it hadn’t gone up the last time you checked, or the time before that.

”you’re good.”

”oh, thank god,” he exhales. ”are you sure? like, a hundred percent sure? maybe you should check again. just in case.”

”satoru,” you coo, a teasing lilt on the tip of your tongue. ”you can just ask me if you want a kiss.”

”a kiss? scandalous. i just wanna make sure my condition doesn’t worsen.”

he’s grinning, and you’re rolling your eyes, and both of you know damn well you’re going to indulge him anyway. he sighs in satisfaction when he feels your soft lips on his heated skin.

”hmm…” you narrow your eyes, thoughtfully, before looking down at him with a teasing smile. ”nope. definitely still the same temperature.”

”you sure?”

”a hundred percent.”

”hmm. okay, got it.” he rolls over, burying his face in your stomach. wrapping his limbs around your midriff. “that’s good. just wanted to check, you know?”

”of course.”

”might need you to check again soon. just to be safe,” he chirps, biting back a soft grin. you don’t bother hiding yours.

”got it, got it,” you coo, fingers carding through his messy hair. “anything for my sick baby.”

satoru releases a soft breath, bordering on a giggle. you can’t help but let your smile grow wider, heart brimming with affection. you let it clog up your chest until the movie’s almost over, and you simply can’t help yourself anymore.

”your room is very like you.”

it’s sudden, breaking the peaceful silence, making satoru stir. you’re both starting to get sleepy again. but he blinks up at you, studying your expression before parting his lips.

”… oh? how so?”

“well…” you stop to think. humming, absently fidgeting with a lock of your boyfriend’s hair. ”when i first walked in, i thought the whole house felt kind of empty, you know?”

satoru hums. unsure of where the conversation is going, maybe just a little intrigued. he mostly just likes listening to you talk.

”but then i went into your room, and — it just felt very you. kinda messy, and stuff, but cozy. and a little sentimental.” satoru looks up at you, admiring that certain soft glimmer in your eyes. you meet his stare with a smile. ”maybe it doesn’t make sense? i guess i’ve just been thinking about it.”

he closes his eyes.

there’s something soft in your tone, something silky and simple, and he can tell you’re being sincere. it’s something he likes about you — that willingness to be soft, almost pridefully so, to bare yourself even if you aren’t sure that he’ll return the favour. he likes to think it’s rubbing off on him, slowly but surely; he doesn’t think he’s quite as bad as before. telling you about things that are dear to him isn’t something that scares him, anymore. and even when you see him vulnerable, sick and delirious in bed, he isn’t afraid that you’ll use it against him.

you’re a comfort; his safe haven. a place to rest his weary head. maybe you always have been, even before he really got to know you.

”i like your place more,” he finally admits, lighthearted in its weight. your gaze flits down, but his is still lingering on the tv, not really paying attention to it. ”it feels very… you.”

a smile crawls up to rest against your lips. playing along, your hands finding solace in between his fluffy locks. ”how so?”

and satoru smiles. eyes sparkling with something mellow, like a soda pop cracked open on a boiling summer day. he shifts a little, just to gaze up at you again. ”it’s… homely. warm,” his smile only grows. “and awfully sentimental.”

he lifts a hand up, to touch your cheek. tender, as his thumb smooths against your skin. it’s warm, beneath his touch, heating up with every word he speaks. satoru’s love feels a little like the sun, when it spills out this fervently, like it could burn you into cinders — you think you’d be happy to lie in the ashes. he’s smiling at you, like sunshine, like little dusty specks of light. and he exhales.

”i wouldn’t mind staying there forever.”

the expression on his face is a lovely one. you take a moment to simply bask in it, desperate to etch it into your memory. you don’t think you could forget it even if you tried. how fondly the light of the room embraces him, that soft grin he’s shooting your way, only vaguely teasing. and his eyes, the gateways to his soul, so sincere you can’t look away.

you love this man with your whole chest. you knew before, you’ve known for a long time, but each day you fall in love all over again. it’s all you can think as you look at him, all snug and safe and happy in your lap.

you don’t realize you’ve been staring at him silently until he chuckles, pulling you out of your sentimental stupor. it only flusters you further.

”you’re cute,” satoru croons, still cradling your cheek. tender, soft fingertips against your heated skin. all you manage is a meek little furrow of your brows, but that only makes him chuckle again.

”… you can.”

he blinks. still smiling.

”stay forever, i mean.”

you can’t look at him, when you say it. the words are barely above a whisper, and you aren’t sure if they’re conscious or not. it’d be nice to say they just slipped out, but they feel somewhat deliberate, all the same. you know you mean them, either way. it’s the one thing you’re sure of.

this time, satoru is the one who can do nothing but stare, his expression unreadable. you try not to let your gaze wander to his face, his eyes; but through the peripheral of your vision, you feel like you catch a particular kind of sadness reflected in them. or maybe it’s something closer to yearning, longing. something like that.

”… well,” he finally hums, voice so low you barely pick up on it. ”maybe i will, then.”

you reach something.

you catch a glimpse of it, at least, for just a second or two. something warm and bare, something simple and incomprehensible at the same time. an emotion so strong it leaves you reeling, yet still so light. it’s there and then it isn’t, just out of reach, and you think that if you could only find the courage to curl your fingers around his, then —

a laugh track plays from the tv, snapping you both out of your thoughts.

(the moment passes before you can fully understand it, fully comprehend it. maybe some part of you already has.)

…

satoru chuckles, reaching for another ball of mochi and popping it into his mouth. ”this movie’s awful, huh?”

”yeah,” you’re quick to agree, maybe a little too quick. grinning weakly. ”it’s good in a so bad it’s good kinda way, though.”

he hums in absentminded agreement, still chewing on the soft treat. keeping his gaze steady on the screen, the flicker of emotional scenes he hasn’t been keeping track of, barely resisting the urge to look up at you again. but his heart already feels a little too mushy for his liking — he’s not sure he could take it.

satoru doesn’t get sick often.

his immune system is strong, there’s no denying that. but more than anything, he simply can’t afford to be sick. there are people who need him, people who depend on him, and the idea of being in such a defenseless state — stuck in bed while the world continues to spin, unattended — makes him feel so anxious he could throw up. even sleeping makes him feel a little skittish, sometimes, though he’s gotten a lot better since he started falling asleep with you in his arms.

it’s funny, he thinks. before you, being sick wasn’t something that really existed in his world. if he felt a little under the weather he would simply puff out his chest and down a painkiller or two, waving it off with a flick of his wrist; no biggie, really. he’s satoru gojo, after all, and the world needs his eyes on it.

but then you came along. you came to his rescue, spring in your pockets, and you took care of him, with what he knows to be love. genuine, earnest concern for his wellbeing. his happiness.

yeah — it’s funny, for sure. satoru never thought he’d ever enjoy being sick.

yet here he is, head in your lap, feeling you run your fingers through his hair. kissing his forehead whenever he whines, indulging his little convoluted ploys. bringing him soup, when he gets hungry again, soup you made yourself. he wasn’t kidding when he said he tasted your love through it; it was all he could taste, with his numbed out senses, all he could feel.

you’re so good to him. there’s nothing he would trade for these moments with you, absolutely nothing. he’s glad you came over, after all. glad you’re so stubborn, and oh so caring. satoru can’t help but smile, heart almost stuffed to the brim with gratitude — what could he possibly do with this immense love in his chest?

”i love you so much,” he blurts out, practically beaming. now you’re in his lap, again, and he takes the opportunity to smear openmouthed kisses against your neck. delighting in the little squeak you try to muffle.

”where did that come from?” you blink, squirming a little in his embrace. a movie is still playing on the tv screen, one better than the last — your attention was fixed on it before satoru broke the silence.

”just felt like saying it!” he only chirps, grinning ear to ear. ”i love you. you’re the best thing that ever happened to me,” he murmurs, earnestly, lips against your skin. ”my whole world.”

for a moment, you wonder if the fever is making him delirious. then again, this is pretty standard for satoru; always eager to fluster you, to shower you with love until you’re pushing him away. it’s overwhelming, but you’ve never minded. this is how you measure his love — little gaps between too much and never enough.

”… you’re not gonna say it back?” comes a whine, right by your ear. now he’s nibbling at your neck, little beast that he is, pouting because you let the silence linger for too long. he’s being such a baby about it. but you still rush to reassure him, echoing his words in earnest.

”i love you too, satoru,” you smile, slightly exasperated. craning your neck so that your lips can meet his jaw, and satoru grins, giddy at the attention. ”my whole universe.”

satoru lets out a happy little noise, almost a giggle, sleepy and pleased. his arms squeeze you just a little tighter, like you could never be close enough, even when he��s got you in his lap like this. if he could, he’d keep you there all the time. attached at the hip, close as can be.

even with a ruined date, even after worrying you, he feels well and truly satisfied. because you're here, and you’re watching a good movie, and you’re gonna stay over tonight. when it gets dark out, he’ll get to fall asleep cuddled up beside you, hold you in his arms and feel you nuzzle into his chest. then he’ll pepper your face with kisses to wake you up, and you’ll grumble all sweetly, and he’ll carry you to the kitchen despite your grumpy protests. you’ll eat breakfast together, chatting and enjoying the way the sunlight flickers around the room like a happy cat. maybe he can even make you breakfast himself, to thank you for today.

if the fever’s gone by then, you’ll probably let him outside. then you can go get those crêpes, and maybe go to a park, or to the movie theatre, or a fun arcade, before heading back to your apartment to relax. and then he’ll stay over. the day after, too. and the day after that.

living together with you wouldn’t be so bad, he thinks. it wouldn’t be bad at all, actually.

the thought has been on his mind for a while, now. getting to fall asleep with you every night, eat breakfast with you every morning, see more of your footprints in his life… satoru can’t think of anything he’d like more. maybe he’ll start hinting at it, slowly but surely. if he can lure you into broaching the subject, that would be ideal — but if he has to, he doesn’t mind doing it himself. you’re worth the emotional toll.

you curl into your boyfriend a little further, his jaw now resting cheekily on the top of your head, large palms underneath your shirt and rubbing circles into your bare skin. you have no idea what he’s thinking, no idea about his plans, and he thinks that’s for the best. he knows you’ll indulge him, at the end of the day.

maybe he’ll just ask you, tomorrow. if you say no, he can just blame it on the fever making him delirious.

#save me sick soft sweet sappy satoru….. save me……..#he means the wholeeee universe to me :’3 i love this specific toru sm !! i really do think he’s a lonely sweetie at heart :((#i wrote this fic a LONG time ago but i polished it a bunch so hopefully it doesnt feel rusty !!#i scrambled to come up w a title in time but i think this one kinda slaps idk … im severely sleepy rn so it might. Not be. though 😭😭#gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #jjk fluff #gojo fluff #jjk x you #jjk x reader #gojo satoru x y/n

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adimilkys · 5 days

Text

JJK men finding out that you’re… pregnant?

MDNI tw : pregnancy, mentions of abortion, mostly fluff

Gojo Satoru

“Did we really have to go to a hospital” you groaned holding the white- now crimson red cloth against your wound.

“Shoko is out of the town so we sadly didn’t have any choice.” Mei Mei answered holding you up as she cringed at the blood on her hands.

Arriving at the hospital the nurses immediately helped you into a wheelchair and took you to a room, leaving Mei Mei waiting in the hallway, she dialed Gojo’s number and waited for him to pick up.

“What is it?? Is everything alright? Why are you suddenly calling me?” Before she could say anything Satoru already started asking questions, she never calls him.

“Your wifey is in the hospital.”

“…”

Just like that, a second later Satoru was in the hospital “What happened?!” He asked, a little too loud causing other people to look at him.

“Jeez don’t worry, she just got stabbed in her thigh. She’s already being taken care of.” Mei sighed, leaning against the wall.

Satoru’s heartbeat slowed down a little, since it was beating so fast, worried that you got seriously hurt.

“The curse should be happy it’s dead.” He muttered under his nose glaring at the ceiling, still mad at himself that you got hurt, if only there was a way to give you infinity…

After some time a doctor came out and Satoru immediately hurried to him “Is she alright?!”

“And you are?” The doctor asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Husband of Y/N.”

“Oh yes, she’s alright no need to worry. She didn’t lose a lot of blood. You can go see her.” Satoru let out a sigh of relief as he was about to make his way into the hospital room you’re in.

“I forgot to mention, the baby is fine too.”

…

Satoru paused, his whole body freezing. Even Mei Mei’s eyes widened as she was waiting with him. He sprinted towards your room, “YOU’RE PREGNANT?!” he ran into the room yelling, you’re eyes widening.

“wait wait hold up- what?” You replied, confusion on your face.

“The doctor said ‘the baby is fine too’! Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you go to the mission??” He said confused, as he walked up to the bed you were lying in.

“Because I didn’t know that I’m pregnant!” You were as shocked as him, you were just staring at each other before grins appeared on your faces and tears in eyes.

“W-We’re going to be parents?” You whispered as Satoru wrapped his arms around you, kissing you all over your face.

“I’m going to be a daddy…” a huge grin on his face.

“You’re an idiot for putting yourself in danger-“

“Please shut up Toru.”

Nanami Kento

Four days. Four days since you were supposed to get your period. At first you ignored it, thinking it’s just your cycle changing, it’s never perfect.

But then the morning sickness came. Maybe you just ate something bad? Yeah that’s the reason-

“Do you still want kids?” You asked Kento as both of you cuddled in bed. He was slightly surprised by the question, not expecting to be asked that.

“If you want kids, I want kids. If you don’t want kids, I don’t want kids.” He said, his hand caressing your head.

“Why ask that all of a sudden?”

“My periods late.”

“I noticed that, maybe it’s just your cycle changing?” Right, you forgot that this man knows you more than you do, always knows when you’re supposed to get your period.

“I thought that too until I started puking my guts out every morning.”

There was a moment of silence when suddenly Kento got up and started putting his clothes on. “Where-”

“I’m going to the pharmacy, it closes in 20 minutes so I still have time to buy a pregnancy test.” Your eyes watered at his words, getting up as well and immediately pulling him into a hug.

“Are… you mad?” You asked quietly, letting out a sniffle. He grabbed your face with his hands, connecting your foreheads. “Sweetheart, if that test comes out positive I’m going to be the happiest man alive, even though I already am because I was blessed with you.” He connected your lips in a passionate kiss for a minute, then leaving to go to the pharmacy.

It has been months since he left, he abandoned you because of your pregnancy.

(I had to I’m sorry 😭)

You were stressed as hell, you wanted a child but didn’t expect one now. Pregnancy and taking care of a child was a big deal, you were also happy that it was Kento and no one else, he’s literally perfect, always taking care of you.

The alarm on your phone went off as you looked towards the pregnancy test which was now done, taking a deep breath as you picked it up.

Positive

Tears immediately streaming down your cheeks as you wrapped your arms around your husband. He had a huge smile on his face, you could’ve sworn to god that you saw tears forming in his eyes.

“You’re going to be an amazing mama.” He whispered as he kissed your temple “and you’re going to be an amazing daddy.”

“I love you so much.”

Sukuna Ryomen

You and him never really had a talk about having children.

Firstly - you were sure he didn’t want kids because he’s a menace. Secondly - was it even possible for him to have kids?

Not to mention the way he acts around them, whenever on a date or just taking a walk and there’s a kid, he always rolls his eyes. Annoyed at the bratty child.

So imagine your surprise when you saw the two visible lines on all of the four tests you bought.

Well shit

You immediately started thinking of all the scenarios on what could happen when you told Ryomen, of course the first ones that appeared in your mind were the bad ones.

You never really thought about kids yourself, you wouldn’t mind one but you were also terrified of pregnancy and birth, you’ve heard so many stories on the internet and it was a huge no for you.

What if he wanted you to have an abortion? You weren’t against it but you also couldn’t get yourself to do it.

What if he would leave you?

What if-

“Woman, how long can you be in the bathroom?” Your eyes widened as you immediately hid the pregnancy tests in the trash, taking deep breaths and wiping off the tears that were about flow down your cheeks.

“Gosh, I’m out.” You opened the door letting out a forced laugh, he stared at you with an emotionless expression

“What is it.” You raised your eyebrow at the question, “what?” Confusion written on your face as you stared at him.

“Brat, did you forget that I can feel your emotions?” well shit, you did indeed forget, were you going to tell him? Of course- not.

“I-I just saw a sad video about a puppy.” You mumbled with a small pout, making up a quick lie.

“You humans are weird.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes. You let out a sigh, thank god he believed you.

…

He did in-fact not believe you, but he decided not to push it.

Just a few hours later he saw a pink object in the trash while he was in the bathroom, grabbed it and saw the words

two lines : pregnant one line : not pregnant

And how many lines were there? Two.

Was he surprised? Yes

Was he mad? Yes

But it’s not because of the pregnancy itself, but because you didn’t tell him.

You were sitting on the couch watching tv when he came stomping down the stairs, and throwing the pregnancy test on the coffee table in front of you.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You were once again, in shock, unable to say anything

“Kuna I-”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked once again now more louder, you looked down at the floor and bit your lip.

“I was scared…” you whispered, that actually surprised him. The woman that actually had the strength to put up with him, tease him, annoy him for fun while the whole world was scared of him, was ‘scared’?

“Why the fuck-“

“Because you don’t want a child!” You said now louder, tears in your eyes, thinking he’ll abandon you now.

He was taken aback, brows furrowed “I never said that.” Before you could say anything else he continued.

“I know I’m not the… best material for a ‘father’ but why would you think I would leave after finding out you have a living creature inside your stomach.”

“You always act annoyed when you see a child and always make comments, what else was I supposed to think?” You huffed out, burying your head in your knees.

He grabbed your face, making you look at him. “So dumb…” he scoffed before attacking your lips with his. Your eyes widened as you yelped.

“You know I act like that around every single filthy human except you. That child is my creation and my heir, I’ll accept it.”

“So… you don’t want to leave me? Aww-”

“Right now I’m temped to-“

“ M’sorry my lord.” You laughed, kissing him again.

there will probably be a part two with more characters, don’t blame me if there’s any mistakes I wrote this at 3 am dying of heat and exhaustion ahahah

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojou satoru x reader #jjk x reader #sukuna x reader #nanami x reader #jjk x you #nanami x you #sukuna x you #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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oddinary4bts · 25 days

Text

Chasing Cars | Masterpost (jjk)

☆summary: when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?

☆status: on-going (next update: May 10th, 2024)

☆pairings: brother's best friend!Jungkook x younger sister!female reader, Hoseok x female reader, Namjoon x OC, Jin x OC, Jimin x OC, Taehyung x OC and others.

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)

☆genre: forbidden love?au, college!au, slice of life!au, smut, angst (as usual a lot of it), fluff

☆total word count: 182.9k (lmao my fingers slipped)

☆a/n: I got the idea for this fic just a little over a year ago, following a power outage that lasted for a few days where I live and Jungkook's live where he kept coming back with different outfits (the white dress shirt hit me right in the gut). It took me a long time to write, as I was working on multiple other projects at the same time, but I am so so happy to be ready to share this baby with you guys <3

☆Thank you to @moonleeai and @jessikahathaway for beta-ing this monster <3 (and for all your encouragement and support)

☆And a special thank you to @wintaerbaer and @btsborahaee for encouraging me and supporting me whenever I screamed to you about this fic

☆add yourself to the taglist here!

☆☆☆☆☆

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

☆☆☆☆☆

➳Teaser (Jungkook pov): the day he met you (1.1k)

You fucking touch her, you're dead.

➳Chapter one: when the Incident happens (11.8k)

Jungkook is Tae's best friend.

➳Chapter two: when Jungkook teases you (10.2k)

You know I hate that nickname.

➳Chapter three: when Valentine's Day happens (13.1k)

You know, Taehyung doesn’t have to know everything.

➳Chapter four: when you and Jeon Jungkook clash (9.5k)

I was just going to say that we should keep this between us.

➳Chapter five: when you have to go back to reality (12.1k)

We just pretend nothing happened, no?

➳Chapter six: when Jungkook hosts his friends over (9.6k)

I really want to kiss you right now.

➳Chapter seven: when doubt makes you question everything (15k)

Why do you want to believe the worst of me so bad?

➳Chapter eight: when secrets are unveiled in New York (13.5k)

I want you.

➳Chapter nine: when a party makes Jungkook jealous (11.2k)

You make me insane.

➳Chapter ten: when time slips through your fingers (10.1k)

I don’t want to lose you, peach.

➳Chapter eleven: when Jungkook visits Taehyung in Paris (8.4k)

Can’t wait for you to be back.

➳Chapter twelve: when it breaks (7.3k)

I can’t be with you.

➳Chapter thirteen: when it's too late (8.9k)

I have to talk to him.

➳Chapter fourteen: when the truth comes out (12.2k)

We never told each other how we felt.

➳Chapter fifteen: when you find your way back to Jungkook (7.4k)

You came?

➳Chapter sixteen: when Jungkook takes you out on a date (8.9k)

I think I was waiting for you my whole life.

➳Chapter seventeen: when forever awaits you (9k)

Getting to love you is the most beautiful thing that’s ever happened to me.

Drabbles in Jungkook's pov (might add more as the story goes on)

➳Drabble 1: the engagement party (453)

Have fun while it lasts.

➳Drabble 2: after a call in Paris (596)

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

➳Drabble 3: a conversation with his mother (644)

Nothing strengthens a man more than heartbreak.

➳Drabble 4: a conversation with Taehyung (1.1k)

It’s never been like that with her.

☆☆☆☆☆

#chasing cars masterpost #jungkook smut #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #jungkook #jjk smut #jjk angst #jjk fluff #jjk x you #jjk x reader #jjk fic #jjk #jeon jungkook #chasing cars #chasing cars series

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crazyinlovewithbucky · 8 months

Text

“In the bedroom, I’ll be screaming but outside, I’ll keep it quiet.”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x avenger!Reader

Summary: You and Bucky had a sexual relationship and were hiding it from everyone in the team and the compound, making the relationship more exciting for you. Also, you discovered a secret kink Bucky had.

Warnings: smut with very little plot, overstimulation, p in v sex, RUSSIAN NICKNAMES, Soldat kink, Bucky being desperately horny, sex-tape, filming during sex, almost getting caught, praise kink, some degradation kink with name-calling, creampie, breeding kink, marking kink, hair pulling, kind of voyeurism kink??, Steve making appearance and being so sweet and gentle to reader, an odd mention of Pam and Tommy? fingering, finger sucking, fluff, aftercare, Russian praise, too many kinks, I lost track I'm sorry.

This smut was inspired by the song Low by SZA

AU/N: Hey guys, I don't know how to say this but this smut piece is literally written based on a dream I had lol. Hope you enjoy it and I'd like to remind you that English isn't my first language so excuse if I misspelled or mispronounced anything. Enjoy <3.

"Shit, get in. Get in." Your heart skipped a beat, and you got so excited and shy when you saw Bucky standing in front of your door completely naked with nothing but his bathroom robe on, and he opened it wide open as soon as you opened your bedroom door. You held his hand and pulled him in quickly before someone saw him like this. "What the hell are you doing?" You closed and locked the door, turned around to face him, and found his robe now pooling around his feet.

"I just missed you so much, baby doll. Come here." He pulled you by your arms to him and started kissing you hungrily, then he lifted you up in his arms, and you wrapped your legs around him by habit. You kissed him back deeply. "I just couldn't wait until they fell asleep. I need you so badly." He mumbled against your mouth and held you tightly as he turned towards your bed and threw you gently on it. "Clothes off now." He ordered, and you giggled as you didn't have many clothes on. Only your tank top and your panties. You took them off quickly and saw him already moving his metal hand up and down his hardened cock, and it was leaking pre-cum at the sight before his eyes: you, fully naked on your white bed sheets. All his.

He started at your feet, kissing and mumbling sweet words like miss this, miss you, love you, my doll, my perfect girl, and need you, moving all the way up to your calves, knees, and thighs, filling them with kisses and love bites. You smiled at how needy he was, as if you hadn't woken up in his arms this morning as he was fucking you awake, burying his head in your neck, and marking you there. You had to wear a turtleneck sweater all day long in the middle of August because of his marks on your neck, claiming you as his over and over again as he wanted desperately to show everyone that you are his, but unfortunately for him, you had to keep your relationship a secret because you don't want anyone snooping around or middling in that special bond you and Bucky have.

At first, you kept it a secret because you weren't sure if this relationship would work out or not, and if it didn't, you both didn't want it to be a big deal with everyone walking on eggshells around you guys. But to your surprise, it worked out, and it lasted for a whole year. You both thought the reason why it's going so well between you guys is because you're keeping it a secret, so this is why you try to hide it as best as you can, sneaking around and locking doors, making excuses to go on missions together as it feels like a gateway vacation for you both. Of course, you were working and getting your asses kicked, but you always made things up to make it last longer than it did so you could enjoy your time together and go on dates. It wasn't the best plan, but it made you both happy and got you both closer to each other. And all things aside, you both found it so thrilling and erotic to keep it hidden from everyone and sneak around, having quickies in conference rooms, on the quinjets, in Tony and Bruce's labs, in the gym, on the roof, and in a parked SUV. Because sadly, most of the time you both weren't alone; he was either with Steve or Sam, and you were always following Nat and Yelena around. So you both had to take advantage of any time you found yourselves alone in it.

"Take it easy, Soldat. Don't you remember this morning?" You smirked and rubbed his hair while he was kissing and sucking love marks on your inner thighs.

"I love it when you call me that." He chuckled, moved up your body, and kissed you passionately. He devoured your mouth with his. He pressed his body so close to yours, like you were a part of him. Wrapped his arms around you, holding you tightly, afraid you might disappear if he ever let go. You wrapped your arms and legs around him, fearing the same thing. "Want to do nothing except for staying right here, like this, forever, моя любовь" he mumbled, and you moaned against his mouth when you heard your favorite Russian nickname, the one he always whispers in your ear when he tries to tease you in front of people. My love.

He moved his head down and started sucking and biting your nipples, giving each one the proper love and attention they deserve. while moving his hands, lifting your legs up, and bending you in half. You held them up and wrapped them around his torso. He sneaked his fleshy hand down to your cunt and cupped it. Rubbing and opening your lips down there and feeling your arousal soak his hand "All of this is for me, Кукла?" He rubbed your arousal all over your clit, earning some moans and whimpers from you. Then he moved his hand to his mouth and licked his digits clean of your wetness. "Tastes like heaven, as always." He pushed his tongue into your mouth and kissed you like his life depended on it. So passionately, you were slightly getting dizzy.

While getting drowned in his kiss, you felt his cock slowly poking your entrance. He pushed the head slowly inside, and you moaned against his mouth at how hot and hard it felt inside. You felt yourself gushing around him, just for the excitement of feeling his hardened cock filling you up. He moved his kisses to your neck, finding new places there to mark you. He pushed his cock inside of you slowly until he bottomed out, and both of you were moaning messes. You loved hearing him moan and whimper for you as much as he loved hearing the same sounds come out of you.

He picked up a slow and deep pace at first, while his mouth never left yours or your body. You were playing with his hair and moaning his name. "Damn, Bucky. I missed this so much. Please don't leave. I want you, like this all the time." You whimpered in his ear, and you swore you felt his cock twitching when he heard your words. You thought he was going to cum.

"Fuck, Y/N. You're killing me." He breathed hard and started an unrelenting pace, going faster and fucking his cock harder into you. His hand snaked down, and he rubbed quick circles on your clit. You cried out loud and couldn't control your screams and moans anymore. You couldn't handle it any longer, and suddenly, you heard that gushing sound coming out of you. You squirted and came all over his cock. You lost all control of your body, and you felt your walls uncontrollably clenching so hard on his cock. He moaned loudly as he emptied everything he had inside of you; that squelching sound became louder because of your mixed juices, and he couldn't stop fucking everything into you, filling you up, and marking you as always.

You were cut off from your trance by a loud banging on your door, and someone was trying to open your door. "Y/N, are you okay? Open the door." It was Steve, and from the sound of his voice, he was very concerned.

"Fuck, were we that loud?" you panicked and whispered to Bucky.

He chuckled at you and said, "You were that loud, doll, not me." He kissed your cheek while stressing the word 'you'.

Steve kept banging and trying to open the door, saying, "I'm going to break this down if you don't answer me."

"Holy shit," you whispered. "Steve, I'm fine. It's just—II was—Oh." You yelled back to Steve and were cut short because Bucky moved his semi-hard cock and kept fucking his cum into you, very slowly and deeply. "Buck, come on." You moaned quietly, but all this son of a bitch did was raise his eyebrows at you playfully and smirk.

"Looks like Steve will finally find out the slut you've been hiding under your innocent face, doll. And you know Steve loves to gossip with Nat." He smirked and bit your jaw playfully, knowing goddamn well that Steve tells everything to Nat, and Nat tells Yelena, and Yelena has a big mouth and will tell every single one in the compound that Steve saw you being fucked raw by his best friend, and that made you get more startled and out of breath.

"Y/N. What's wrong? Are you sure you're fine?" Steve yelled from the other side of the door.

"Y-Yes, Steve. I- Fuck" Bucky, being the torturous monster he is, he started sucking and kissing that sweet spot in your neck, making you forget you just squirted all over his cock and want nothing but to cum all over his cock over again.

"Don't stop those sweet sounds you make, doll. Let them know who's making you scream like a slut," Bucky whispered in your ear as he never stopped dragging his now-hardened cock in and out of you.

"Y/N?" Steve called. "I'm getting really worried here; I'm breaking down the door."

"No." You yelled loudly. "Stop, please. I'm just having period cramps." You yelled, then put your hand on your face from the embarrassment. Bucky giggled quietly at you, and you hit his shoulder.

"Period?" He smirked at you. "Have I really fucked you stupid already?" He chuckled while smirking at you as his right hand moved to your breast, and he pinched your left nipple playfully, which made you whine at him.

"Really? Do you need anything?" Steve calmed down a bit and asked with a still-concerned voice.

"No, Steve. I'm fine. I have everything I need. Thank you." You breathed out and bit Bucky's shoulder as he couldn't stop giggling and smirking at you.

"Okay. If you need anything, you can text me, I guess." Steve said, and you smiled at his sweetness.

"Will do, Cap. Thanks."

"Why don't you go fuck him instead, huh?" Bucky frowned at you after he pushed all of his length inside and stopped moving.

You rolled your eyes at him and were about to reply back, but Steve's voice stopped you. "Have you seen Bucky, by the way?" He asked from behind the door, and your eyes widened. Bucky smirked and was about to say something loudly, but you smacked your hand on his mouth quickly and flipped him over while his cock was still buried inside of you. You were straddling him now, on top of him, while your hand was still covering his mouth and shushing him.

"No, Cap. Not since dinner. Maybe he's in his room." You tried to stabilize your voice as much as you could as your eyes started to tear up from the burning that Bucky's cock was causing inside of you and your need to fuck yourself on him and cum again.

"He's not. I was in his room right before I heard you, and he wasn't there." He exclaimed. You cursed him and all the gods and everyone at this moment for disturbing your much-needed moment with Bucky like that. "Maybe he's taking a late-night ride or something."

"I was." Bucky mumbled from beneath you, your hand still covering his mouth. You rolled your eyes at him and told him to shut up.

"Anyways, thanks, Y/N. Get well soon. See ya." Steve said, and then you heard him walking away, and you sighed in relief.

Bucky kissed your hand that was covering his mouth, and you looked down at him. You admit he looks so sexy like that, with his messed-up hair, hazy half-lidded eyes, and kind of red cheeks. You removed your hand and kissed him deeply. He flipped you over again, so he was on top of you again and kissing you hungrily.

"I want to try something with you tonight." He smirked and licked his now-swollen lips. He lifted himself up slowly, opened your nightstand's drawer, and took out your vintage video camera. You're not surprised how well he knows its location; he knows every single item in your room like it's his own, as he spends most of his nights here.

The hobby you and Bucky shared and which was the topic of your first-ever conversation was photography. He really loved taking pictures of everything; it was his way of adapting to the new world, and as much as he liked how these new wireless phones had cameras in them, he was old-fashioned and had a nice collection of vintage film cameras. He takes pictures of everything he finds in his way; that was actually recommended first by his therapist, and it had good results for Bucky as he figured out he was passionate about that, so he always had his camera with him. You, on the other hand, had a passion for filming videos and making short movies and vlogs; when you were young, your dream was to be a filmmaker. You chose to be a superhero instead, but no one says you can't make videos and short movies as a hobby. So you always kept your cameras near, and Bucky knew all of their locations.

He opened it and turned it on, pointing the lens at his face and making silly faces to make sure it was recording. You laughed at him and at the silly faces he was making. "What are you doing, Barnes?" You giggled at him and sat up a little.

He smirked and kissed you. "I heard about this show that's based on this celebrity couple that made a sex tape in the 90s, and everyone was freaking out about it."

"Oh, really?" You made a shocked face at him and were playing along as if you weren't the one telling him about that show.

"Yeah. I guess it was a big deal back then." He flipped you over on your stomach as he was kneeling behind you, holding the camera in his hand while filming your naked body.

"Yeah?" You loved this idea but still looked confused and turned your head to face him, surprised he was actually into it.

He pointed the camera at your face and giggled, "Now, we're making one of our own." He raised his eyebrows at you playfully.

"Oh god, Bucky. You are crazy." You laughed and buried your head in the pillow.

"You're the reason, doll. You drive me crazy." He smirked. He grabbed one pillow and put it under your hips to give him easy access to your pussy.

He positioned the camera on the top right of the bed while making the lens focus on your body, and he saw that this was the perfect position from the flipped recording screen of the camera. You made a silly face at the camera and stuck your tongue out, making him laugh behind you. He brushed your hair with his fingers, grabbed it carefully with his hand, and kissed your shoulder. He lined his cock with his other hand at your entrance and pushed himself slowly inside, earning a gasp from you. As he pushed himself all the way inside and bottomed out, he laid on top of you while his grip on your hair tightened, and you arched your back against his chest while moaning out his name.

He started fucking faster into you right away. This position made his cock hit deeper spots inside you, and you could feel him all the way up to your lower stomach, and you knew if you touched it, you'd feel the bulge there. You couldn't wait till you hit your orgasm to see stars and white dots, as you can see them now from how deep he was and how hard he was fucking into you. You can feel his hot breath on the back of your neck, which gave you goosebumps all over, and that made you cry out louder than you already were.

He grabbed your hair harder, pulled your head up from the pillow, and pointed your face at the camera. "Look at the camera, шлюха. Look at yourself being fucked dumb." He whispered in your ear before biting your earlobe and sucking on it. You couldn't control your screams at that point, and you tried your hardest to muffle them on the pillow, but you couldn't because of how Bucky was holding your head up. You were praying silently that no one comes again and disturbs you from being fucked into another oblivion.

His other hand snaked up from your waist to your mouth as he pushed two fingers inside your mouth, and you welcomed them and sucked on them hungrily. You pushed your hips back to meet his hard thrusts, and you didn't know if it would be possible, but he somehow hit deeper, and his cockhead was poking your cervix over and over again. You screamed loudly but were muffled by his fingers in your mouth. Now you know why he let you suck on them in the first place. He doesn't want anyone to hear you either.

Somehow, while he was splitting you in half, your orgasm hit you suddenly like lightning, which made you squirm and shake vigorously underneath him as the overstimulation made you lose all control of your body. You closed your eyes and were tearing up while making all sorts of babbling and incoherent sounds. You didn't notice how hard you were clenching his cock until he was whimpering loudly and shooting his warm liquid inside of you. Filling you to the max. He couldn't handle how hard your soaked walls were clenching his bursting cock, so he pulled it all the way out and continued spurting all of his cum on your cunt and its lips. After your walls relaxed and stopped clenching so hard, he watched how your mixed cum dripped and got out of your swollen and abused hole. He almost drooled at the sight before him, but he proceeded to collect all of that mess between your legs with his fingers and fuck it back into you.

You were too overstimulated and kept squirming and trying to move your hips away unconsciously. "Stop moving, принцесса. We have to make it stick." You were moaning uncontrollably. He pulled his fingers out and licked them clean. He started kissing you all over, starting at your ass cheeks and moving up to your shoulder, neck, and eventually your lips.

You tried to kiss back but couldn't because you wanted to breathe more. He smiled and kissed your cheek, grabbed the camera, and stopped recording. He put it again in the drawer, saying, "We can watch that later. Now, let's get you all cleaned up, котенок" He flipped you over on your back again and was going to hold you up, but you stopped him.

"In a minute, please." You yawned, grabbed his hand, and pulled him next to you on the bed. "You killed me, Barnes. At least give me a moment to relax." You hugged him tightly and slept on his chest with his arms wrapped around you.

He chuckled, "If I gave you a minute, Y/L/N, you'll fall asleep, and we need to get cleaned up first." He rubbed your hair and massaged your scalp slowly, trying to ease it from how hard he was pulling your hair before.

"No." You mumbled and hugged him tighter.

"At least, let me clean and change the bed sheets. It's all wet and sticky because of you." He giggled at your childish behavior and tried to get up, but you held him so tightly.

"No." You whined and pouted your lips.

"Come on, doll. I'll make you a hot bath and let you nap a little in it." He drew circles on your arm and kissed your head. He tried to get up again, and you let him.

"Fine. Only if you put that lavender oil in it." You smiled lazily at him and let him hold you up, and you rested your head on his shoulder while he took you to your private bathroom.

"Все для моей принцессы." He kissed you deeply, then sat you on the sink and cleaned you up with a wet cloth after he turned the hot water on in the tub and put some lavender oil in it, waiting for it to be filled. He sat you in the tub gently as he cleaned himself up, wrapped a towel around his hips, and went to clean and change the bedsheets. He came back to the bathroom and saw you napping quietly in the tub. He smiled to himself at how beautiful you looked and went to the bedroom, grabbed one of your Polaroid camera, and took a picture of his sleeping beauty in the bathtub, looking so angelic. He took off the towel and joined afterwards. He sat behind you and made you rest your head on his chest and sleep on him as he kept rubbing your hips and waist from the bruises he caused earlier from grabbing you so hard and tight.

You woke up the next morning in his arms, in clean and fresh bedsheets, both of you smelling like lavender and wearing clean and soft underwear. You kissed his lips softly, and he opened his eyes slowly and smiled at you. "Good morning, Soldat." You kissed him again, and he kissed back.

"It's always a good morning when I wake up with you in my arms, моя любовь" he smiled and kissed you again. "I love you." He locked eyes with you and held your face with his hand while rubbing his thumb on your cheek.

"I love you," you said back, and you pressed your lips to his, kissing him deeply. Never in your life did you think you'd find true love and connection with someone. But here you are, absolutely head over heels for this man in front of you.

fin

===============================

моя любовь = "my love" Все для моей принцессы = "anything for my princess" котенок = "kitten" принцесса = "princess" шлюха = "slut" Кукла = "doll"

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sttoru · 4 months

Text

your boyfriend cannot stop himself from kissing you all over. kissing you is his favorite thing to do - no matter when or where.

☀︎｜tags. older bf!gojo satoru x female reader. suggestive, mild (to somewhat) nsfw, fluff. lots of kissing. lots and lots of kissing and loving. he fondles and gropes you everywhere basically. clingy satoru. tiny bit size difference (yes ok im a slut, what about it). body worship kinda. readers gets called ‘sweet / pretty girl, baby, princess’. beta read? what’s that.

you fell for it again; satoru told you it was only going to be a quick peck on the lips. ‘i promise, baby, c'moooon’ — you recall him begging in that whiny voice of his. that's all what was needed to make you putty in his hands.

“fine, but only one kiss, okay?” you gave in and walked over to satoru, climbed onto your shared bed and leaned in for a swift kiss—only for his strong arms to cage you in and never let go. it had been ten minutes since; the apartment was silent, except for the lewd sounds of your shared kisses and heavy breaths.

satoru’s soft hands are wandering everywhere. from cupping your cheeks to rubbing your sides and gripping your ass. the clock was ticking loudly, but the sound of it was drowned out by your moans. and satoru’s low, needy whimpers.

the appointment you were getting ready for had long slipped your mind.

“mh, you’re such a good kisser, baby,” the white-haired man sighs. he absolutely loves the way you follow the movements of his glossy lips—your head tilting to the side and back—automatically accomodating to satoru’s motions. he was kissing you with an urgent need. one you had never known or witnessed before, “more, ngh, need more of you, please.”

satoru was not letting up. you couldn’t blame him; it was easy to get lost in this warm and cherished moment of peace. his sweet kisses switched intensity—going from innocent kisses to sloppy ones, resulting in your chin dripping with a mixture of saliva.

you whine and straddle satoru’s lap which earns you a happy hum from your lover. that was his plan all along: to completely distract you from the fact that you had to leave the house. that you had to leave his side. others would call it annoyingly clingy, but satoru absolutely needs your lips on his.

he is sure that he would go insane if he spent a whole day without kissing you. an hour is already too long, if he is honest.

satoru would love to kiss you until the end of time. until death comes knocking onto his door. the last thing he desires to feel is your plump lips and wet tongue wrapped around his. a peaceful, warm death. one with no regrets.

“mhmmm, fuck, you taste so sweet.” satoru's eyebrow furrow in delight. he is nearly overstimulated by the taste of you. the way your small body clings onto him, your hands holding onto his jaw and sliding down his chest, your sounds of pleasure that only he could ever have the honour of hearing.

it was perfect. all of you was perfect.

your parted lips make way for his tongue again. satoru slips his tongue inside your mouth. it was tender, yet demanding. your throat tightens up and a choked moan fills his ears. his cold fingers make contact with the warm skin of your midriff. they were aiming at one place; your chest.

the one satoru loves to fondle no matter when or where. the same one he loves to use as a pillow every night.

“nnh, ‘toru, need’to breathe,” you are running out of air. the short gasps you took between the heated kisses were not enough to fill your lungs. but, it was addicting. the shortness of breath the two of you experienced only served as more proof of your love.

neither of you want to pull away—to pause the make out session for even what could be a split second.

the older man below you is hesistant. he does not want to let go of you. it's like you’re asking him to break up—that’s how much it hurts him to stop kissing you.

however, he felt a bit light-headed from the lack of oxygen as well. satoru pulls away, but not without sweeping his tongue over your bottom lip, lapping up the drool that dripped down the corners of your mouth.

his eyes are half-lidded and glazed over with both love and lust. you stabilise yourself by holding onto his broad shoulders and satoru rubs your back to help calm you down further. a ghost of a grin tugs at his lips. he surely is enjoying your adorable, exhausted demeanour. your chest was heaving up and down—his fingers sneaking to your front and wrapping around a breast to feel its tenderness.

“pretty,” satoru sighs. he takes the chance once your lips part to take a deep breath. his tongue quickly slips in, invading your mouth and exploring every inch before separating the two of you again. he can not go a minute without kissing you. you sure are like a drug to him, “thank you, princess.”

you are surprised by the sudden tongue kiss, but brush it off with a chuckle. you know how satoru is; not able to keep away from you in heated moments like these. his large hands fondling, groping and squeezing every area of your body only proves that point.

“thank you for what?” you ask, planting a soft peck on his lips. your boyfriend responds by holding the back of your head. he leans in for another kiss like a man depraved of any affection. you shudder and hold onto him like he there is no tomorrow. he does the same back, squeezing you against his chest.

satoru slightly tilts his head back to answer your question. his breath was hot on your mouth, a faint string of saliva hanging between your bottom lips. he can not hold the urge. he can not answer. his lips are already colliding with yours once more.

over and over. until the two of you were out of breath and needed a break again.

“thank you for being with me,” satoru answers in a quiet whisper. the pad of his thumb brushes back and forth against the waistband of the shorts you are wearing. there is an urge to pull them down and reveal those pretty little panties you are wearing, but his current priority is to feel your mouth on his.

until he gets enough. which is never. never in a million years.

“thank you for everything, honestly,” satoru continues and leaves a couple wet kisses down your neck. his hands do not leave your perfect body. he’s admiring every curve - every body part that had yet to be touched, “could have never believed that i’d end up with such a pretty girl. but, here i am, with the prettiest girl in the world in my arms.”

satoru had a way with words. one that left you flustered like crazy each time. he looks at you and that’s when you know that he means every word. his eyes were shining, even when half-lidded. the admiration in them more than just visible.

he looks at your face and body like he’s witnessing the world's greatest treasure. and that you surely are.

“stop saying that.” you giggle embarrassedly. you cover your mouth to hide your smile, though satoru is quick to grab your wrist and pull your hand away. he keeps holding onto your arm to prevent you from hiding your face from his sight. and to stop you from hiding your lips from his, of course.

the older man clicks his tongue, scolding you jokingly for trying to hide that precious smile from him. he kisses the corners of your lips, touch lingering against your hot skin, “how am i supposed to admire my pretty girl if she keeps hiding herself, hm?”

you squirm due to satoru’s flirty words. his gentle tone of voice is making you feel those tingles in your lower abdomen. there has not been a single moment in your relationship where your lover made you feel unwanted. it’s been the complete opposite every day.

“someone’s getting a bit squirmy, aye?” your boyfriend teases. he knows that the combination of his words, looks and actions make you weak in the knees. you always react like it’s your first time kissing and that is both endearing and amusing to him.

you can’t control your bodily reactions either. the sight of satoru beneath you is simply too much. his fluffy hair that sits messily due to your fingers that tugged and played around with the strands, his black top riding up to reveal a glimpse of his defined abs and happy trail. . . the faint blush on satoru’s cheeks and the needy look in his eyes.

you surely can’t leave him alone while he looks like that.

“shut up and kiss me already.” you respond with a huff. and so, satoru does. wasting not a single second. kissing you is his job—his passion. the only thing he ever craves for.

the room once again fills with noises of pure contentment, enjoyment and pleasure. it’s just you two in that moment—no one else mattered.

as long as your lips stay attached to each other, no one actually does.

#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jjk smut #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #x female reader

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hyunverse · 2 months

Text

wherever you are ☆ hwang hyunjin.

hyunjin x fem!reader. childhood best friends to lovers. slowburn, pining. fluff, angst. suggestive. a hyunjin birthday special.

wc: 12.9k words.

warnings: reader often referred to as "girl," suggestive. mentions of sex.

note: this fic is my baby. it might be one of my favourite things i've ever written so far, please treat it well <3 feedbacks are very much appreciated.

playlist.

Hyunjin promised you that he'll be wherever you are. What do you do when your best friend of years — the only person you've ever loved disappears without saying goodbye? Especially when you've spent your entire life with Hyunjin, you didn't know of life without him.

one.

“Happy Birthday, Hyunjin.”

It was Hyunjin’s 10th birthday.

Despite already singing him a happy birthday song, you muttered the wish once again in the comfort of his tree house. He sat adjacent to you, feet dangling over the platform, the large leaves hovering over the tree house’s roof providing shelter from the blinding sunlight.

He hummed in gratitude, eyes busy watching Kkami running around below the tree house. Afternoons with Hyunjin were often spent like this — hanging out in the tree house as Kkami played around on the grass, its barks mirroring its happiness. For years, you’ve spent enjoying the fact that your afternoons were spent like this — were spent with Hyunjin, in childish innocence.

After letting the silence take over for a while, Hyunjin turned his head towards you, a little surprised once he saw that you were already looking at him. He tried his best to not let his surprise show.

“Why did you want to come up here? I thought you were enjoying the party inside.”

Indeed, you were enjoying the birthday party, a little too much for Hyunjin’s liking. The boys from Hyunjin’s school came to the party, and you seemed to get along with them quickly, despite being the only girl at the party. Hyunjin hates to admit it but he was a little envious. He told himself that he’s jealous because he’s your number one best friend, so you should pay more attention to him. It was true, but only partially — he was jealous because they were all boys. Not that he would ever admit that to himself.

To Hyunjin’s question, you responded by extending your arms to him, revealing a white box in your palm. He took it, quickly recognizing it as a jewellery box. He’s received one of them after purchasing a Mother’s Day gift. Quietly, he examined the engravings on the box, and the pristine look of it. Honestly, he was impressed by how clean you have kept it. You had always been one to dirty your white clothes.

“What’s this?” he asked, answering his own enquiry by opening the box with you sitting close, peering over his hands.

Hyunjin’s heart skipped a beat.

In the box laid two necklaces, black strings with Lego pieces as pendants. They were matching necklaces. The Lego piece of each necklace formed a heart when joined together. His brown eyes widened, in disbelief of the gift. He’s never received something like this — something matching. It made his heart flutter — no, it beat faster than it does while playing soccer. Hyunjin turned to look into your eyes, and it was as though he had found a new revelation in yours. The more Hyunjin looked at you, the more the realization seeped in, until it overtook his senses.

You’re a girl.

You weren’t just the kid from next door, you weren’t like his other friends — you’re a girl. You like Disney princesses, you have a pretty face, you like Sanrio characters, you have soft hair, you like painting nails, you have pink lips from your strawberry lip balm, you like matching necklaces — you’re a girl.

A very pretty girl.

It felt like a revelation after having been friends with you for over five years. As though the necklaces in the box held some sort of power to snap one from a trance. Hyunjin realized that you were different from his other friends. For one, you have softer hands. Moreover, you’re someone he can develop a crush on — or whatever girls call it.

His finger traced the pendants, feeling the bumps of the Lego pieces. He smiled, one that reached his ears. You felt yourself releasing the breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“I love it soooo much. Thank you.”

Unlike other boys (the stinky ones from your school), Hyunjin didn’t cringe at the gift. The way he gently examined the necklaces mirrored the appreciation he felt towards it. If he was any other boy, he would’ve probably laughed at the gift, then poked fun at you.

Then again, Hyunjin had never been like the other boys you knew.

He was different in the way he spoke softly to you (softer than he would to his guy friends), and how he would let you change the TV channel from Snoopy to Totally Spies. He had always been different, that being the reason why you were so fond of him.

“You like it? Really?” you queried, staring at him. You watched his expressions carefully, trying to sense for any lies.

“Really! Which one do you want?” he answered, absolutely no hesitations. He wasn’t lying.

Hyunjin panned the box towards you, prompting you to pick which necklace. One was in black, the other in white. As always, he gave in to you, letting you be the one to choose.

“White!”

The sun was setting when you both swayed your legs, wearing the matching necklaces. Hyunjin was genuinely happy, one of his hands wouldn’t stop fiddling with the pendant. The party was still lively inside, but he much preferred sitting with you — his one and only best friend.

“Yn,” your best friend’s voice broke you from your trance. “What do you want for your birthday?”

“Hm,” you pondered, tapping your pointer on your chin in a cartoonish manner.

He was looking at you, an expectant expression on his face. You pulled up your legs to cross them as you thought.

“I think…” your voice trailed, “I want to be the best ballerina in the world and move to Paris!”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “at least make it something I could give you!”

You pouted, “but that’s what I want!”

The boy sighed, laying back on the rough surface of the tree house. He looked up, observing the little glow-in-the-dark stars plastered onto the tree house ceiling. He recalled putting them up with you. You were impossible to deal with. Hyunjin desperately wanted to know your wish — something he could give you for your birthday. Your gift to him made him really happy, and he wished to return the favour.

“Then, I’ll be the best artist in the world and move to Paris with you.”

It was such an innocent, child-like answer — straight from a 10-year-old’s desire. Untainted by the boulevard of broken dreams. As if anything in the world was possible, and that the universe was kind all the time.

“Really?” you chirped, looking at him with disbelief in your eyes. You giggled in glee and plopped yourself down beside him. “Really really? You really really really mean it, Hyunnie?”

At that point, Hyunjin could only giggle and nod. “Of course! I’ll be wherever you are.”

The manner in which you hugged him expressed your excitement. You were practically suffocating him, wrapping your legs around his waist and squeezing tightly.

“You’re my best friend in the world!”

Hyunjin felt like he could die.

His heart continued beating rapidly, worsened by you nuzzling your face into his neck. Hyunjin knew, it was just you being your usual self. However, the revelation he experienced minutes earlier made the tips of his ears turn red.

“Hyunjin! Come down here! Your friends are about to leave!”

At that very moment, Hyunjin silently thanked his mother for saving him.

two.

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

A question which had you staring into space — the walls of Hyunjin’s bedroom for a while. The blue walls were plastered with posters of numerous musicians and self-made artworks.

It wasn’t that you didn’t know the answer. You knew. Ballet had been a part of your life since small, it was your everything. It wasn’t that you were unsure if you wanted to do ballet, you were unsure if you should be doing ballet.

Uneasiness settled into your stomach, but you tried to keep them in. You were in no mood to be going through an identity crisis.

“Ballerina,” you stated, matter-of-factly. Your eyebrows furrowed when Hyunjin chuckled.

“What?”

“Your answer hasn’t changed,” Hyunjin laughed, but not in a humorous way. Rather, it was in an expectant way, as if he knew that’s what you would answer.

You straightened your posture and tilted your head. Hyunjin laughed even more, making a comment that you looked like Kkami.

“Have you asked me the same thing before?”

He nodded, “sort of? Kind of. On my tenth birthday, I asked you what you wanted.” Hyunjin cleared his throat and took a deep breath, mimicking the voice of younger you. “I want to be the best ballerina in the world and move to Paris!”

“Oh, shut up!” you rumbled, hitting him with his bolster repeatedly. “That’s not how I sounded like!”

“It so was!”

Truthfully, you couldn’t quite recall the memory. You didn’t doubt Hyunjin though, it did sound like something you would’ve said.

You queried again.

“What did you answer then?”

Hyunjin turned silent. He didn’t like where this was going, not fond of recalling the cheesy answer he gave you. As he looked away from your gaze, you pressed him further. Even threatened to dog-nap Kkami.

“Fine. I said… I said I’ll be the best artist in the world and move to Paris too…” his voice trailed, getting smaller, “said I’ll be wherever you are…”

Your eyebrows raised, scooting closer to him in mock confusion. “Sorry? Didn’t hear you.”

A pillow hit your head, and you burst out into peals of laughter. It was hilarious, the cheesy answer little Hyunjin gave, but what amused you even more was his face turning red.

Touches of laughter echoed in the room, and Hyunjin found himself praying the moment would last forever. The conversation quickly escalated into a pillow fight, ending up in Hyunjin leaning against his headboard, exhausted, and you laying on his lap.

You looked up at him, eyes fleeting to the stubble growing. Mindlessly, you grazed his cheek, feeling his sideburns prickling against your thumb.

He was growing, you realized it then. You were growing too. Neither of you were little kids anymore.

A fact you didn't want to accept.

It’s the softness of your fingers that froze Hyunjin in his tracks. He held his breath, as if you would stop if he moved. He didn’t want you to, wanted to let your fingers linger, to etch the sensation into his memories.

In a soft tone, you spoke, “Did you really mean it?”

“Hm?”

“Would you be wherever I am?”

Hyunjin’s breath hitched, a lump growing in his throat. If he spoke, he feared his feelings would become too real. For as long as he could, he wanted to bury his feelings deep down. Life was already risky as it is, he didn’t want to take any more.

It’s platonic. It’s platonic. It’s platonic.

They repeated in his brain like a mantra. Maybe if he chanted it, it’ll manifest to life.

“Yeah,” Hyunjin swallowed, “of course I will. You’re my best friend.”

Like magic, your worries about the future disappeared into thin air. Would it be foolish to trust Hyunjin so much, that you believed life would be fine as long as he was with you?

Dear universe, be good to me.

You smiled, one that Hyunjin swore could light up the entire sky. The stars must envy you, for the way you could brighten up darkness effortlessly.

“I’ll be wherever you are too.”

Yeah, Hyunjin would love it if time froze.

three.

Don’t be a coward.

Four words Hyunjin told his reflection as he got ready. He was dressed in a basic tee and a pair of jeans, hair slicked back like the one time you told him it looked good. He spritzed his cologne behind his ears, on his neck, and on his wrist before repeating the four words again. This time, he whispered it, letting it soak into his brain, in hopes his heart would have courage.

It’s been too long. The feelings he harboured for you piled overtime, the crush he once thought was temporary transforming into fondness. It was becoming too much for Hyunjin’s heart to bear, he needed to let it out. If he didn’t, he felt like his heart could burst. And if it did, it would be confetti-shaped memories of you.

Chatters echoed outside your ballet academy, Hyunjin watched through the lowered window for your face among the sea of people. He had a plan in mind — he’d open the door for you, put the seatbelt on for you, and tell you about his feelings. In front of your academy wasn’t the most ideal place for a confession, he knew, but God — he couldn’t bear sitting in silence with you as a storm raged in his head. He couldn’t do it. He wanted to say it as soon as he could.

Hyunjin’s eyes were still busy looking for you when suddenly, your face came in his peripheral vision, along with another face. The other person was lean, jet black hair with bangs and puppy-like eyes. The boy opened the door for you before Hyunjin could.

Okay, step number one failed.

“Hey, Hyunnie!” your voice chirped, getting into the car. Your hand moved to buckle your seatbelt before Hyunjin could. He was too busy analysing the stranger in front of the door.

“Hey,” Hyunjin replied nonchalantly, looking at the boy from head to toe. “And this is…?”

“Seungmin. And you?” the boy said, tilting his head. To Hyunjin, he was being challenged. Seungmin’s tone was more daring than he liked, so he felt an urge to one-up the guy.

“Hyunjin. Been friends with Yn since were in diapers.” he replied, the extra detail a pathetic attempt at one-upping Seungmin.

Seungmin furrowed his eyebrows, nodding as he shut your door, “Uh. Cool? Bye, Yn. And the friend since diapers.”

Oh, Hyunjin really didn’t like him.

“Wait, Seungminnie!” you called out just as Seungmin was walking away. He looked back at the car, raising an eyebrow. You turned to Hyunjin with puppy eyes. “Can you give Seungminnie a ride? He takes the bus and I think the next one’s in an hour.”

Hyunjin clenched his jaw, eyes fluttering from your pleading eyes to Seungmin’s figure outside the car. If it was all up to him, he would probably run the guy over. But God knew how much he cherished you, how he would rather cut his tongue than tell you “no,” so he agreed.

“Mm. Sure,” he replied, swallowing back a scoff.

Your eyes brightened, “Seungminnie! Come, we’ll give you a ride!” you yelled, tempting Hyunjin to mock the nickname you’d given him.

It was going to be a car ride straight out of hell.

Hyunjin’s knuckles were white against the steering as he pulled up to Seungmin’s residence complex. The building standing in front of him definitely belonged in a gated community, ritzy and luxurious. Somehow, that pissed Hyunjin off even more. He glanced at the unwanted guest sitting in the back seat through the rear-view mirror.

“Want me to drive you to the lobby, or what?”

Seungmin looked back into the mirror, peering at the reflection through his bangs. “Nah. They don’t let random cars in. Here’s just fine,” he mumbled, unbuckling the seatbelt. “Thanks, dude. Appreciate it.”

The car door closed behind Seungmin, leaving the two of you in the car. Hyunjin sighed, feeling the nerves creeping up him again. Now that it was only the two of you, it was time for Hyunjin to confess his feelings.

Before he could, you spoke, “Seungmin’s my friend in the academy. He’s really smart,” your eyes didn’t leave the crossroad before you, watching as Seungmin walked.

Hyunjin had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He tapped on your thigh, trying to gain your attention. It worked as you looked at him, batting your eyelashes. “Hm?”

He licked his lower lip, mustering all the courage in him. It was now, or never. “Look, I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?”

You shuffled in your seat, tilting your body slightly towards his way. Now that you had your full attention on him, Hyunjin felt even more nervous. He scratched the skin around his thumb, tongue-tied as his brain tried to form coherent words. He’s never done this before, always made fun of his friends for struggling to express their feelings but now that he was in the same place, he wished he could take back all the insults. The brown eyes looking deeply (and anxiously) into yours were profusely blinking, as though he was at the brink of tears. You grew worried.

“Hyunjin, what’s up?”

He scratched at the back of his neck. Why did his tongue feel so numb? Why did his brain feel empty yet so full at the same time? His heartbeats were so fast, he couldn’t quite catch up. Hyunjin was on a rollercoaster — you were waiting at the end of the ride.

Finally, he managed to muster words. “Look, I’ve pondered over —”

Two knocks on the window at the back. They’re followed by the door opening, an exasperated Seungmin popping his head into the car. Immediately, you both looked back, utterly bewildered.

“Sorry. I left my bag. Thank God you’re still here,” Seungmin said, grabbing his messenger bag and slipping it onto his shoulder. “Thanks and sorry!”

The door closed, thus silence blanketed the atmosphere once again. This time, with unresolved tension. You looked back at Hyunjin, tilting your head in curiosity.

“You were saying?”

Dazed, the raven looked at you. His face was a mixture of exasperation and confusion. His head? There was a storm raging, along with curse words aimed at Seungmin.

“Um…” He licked his lower lip, racking his brain to find back the words he wanted to say. They were all lost. He was already at the end of the rollercoaster, the bumps along the way forgotten, and the thrill subsided. All that’s left was the remnants of anxiety. He couldn’t do it anymore, not when he’s forgotten the things he wanted to say, and the moment disturbed by your dear friend Seungmin.

So, he put the gear on to drive. He shook his head and made up a white lie.

“I think I want to try a new ice cream place today.”

four.

The taste of cookies and cream could not beat the bitterness on Hyunjin’s tongue.

It may be because the bitterness has seeped into his head.

“I’m going to your room,” you announced, swinging the front door of his house open. “Hi, Mrs Hwang!” you cheered, running up the stairs after.

“I’m going to talk to my mom a little bit,” Hyunjin said, hanging both your coats on the coat hanger.

Nothing could’ve prepared Hyunjin for what was to happen next.

Both his parents were crowding the kitchen countertop when he walked in, skimming through a piece of paper. They were beaming, eyes crinkled as they smiled. A reminder that Hyunjin resembled both his parents. He blinked in confusion as to why his parents looked so happy. He didn’t think he'd seen them this happy before.

“What’s going on?” he questioned, peering over their figures to look at the paper.

On the paper were words he’d only seen in his dreams. Never in a million years he would’ve thought it’d manifest to life. His heart skipped a beat as he read the words over, and over.

“You made it, sweetheart,” his mother’s soft voice spoke, confirming his suspicion. “You got accepted. Beaux-Arts de Paris.”

“Eomma,” he mumbled, as if he was pleading. Pleading for this dream to stop. Somebody’s got to wake him up from this nightmare of a day. “There’s no way.”

Hyunjin picked up the letter, inspecting it closer. As though if he looked any closer, the words on the pristine white paper would change. Reject him. Or maybe, the logo of the prestigious school would magically transform into a logo of a school in Seoul. Anything, anything, that would keep him here. In Seoul. With you.

“You did it, sweetheart. Your dreams are coming true,” his mother keenly said, pulling him into a side hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

His dream? It was his dream, and, yours. No, scratch that — it wasn’t truly his dream. It was yours. His dream had always been to be wherever you are.

He didn’t think he would be accepted. When you told him you were rejected from the Paris Ballet School, he told you that he was rejected, too. He didn’t tell you that he was waitlisted, under the impression that he was never getting out of the waitlist. What was he to tell you now?

Hyunjin hid his sadness, wanting to make his parents proud, “Yeah. I did it. I’m so happy, eomma, appa.”

A series of praises left his parents, and he allowed for them to engulf him in a hug.

“Don’t tell Yn, ‘kay?” he muttered, before excusing himself to go upstairs. The acceptance letter was neatly folded, tucked into his pocket.

When he swung his bedroom door open, you were standing in front of his full-length mirror. Clad in only his t-shirt, you inspected yourself.

“Hey, Hwang Hyunjin,” you muttered, turning your body. “Your clothes are bigger than me now. You used to be so small.”

You looked at him, mock dismay in your face. “I was so much taller than you before. You were a dwarf.”

How was he meant to tell you about Paris?

“I was never a dwarf. You were just too busy looking down on me.”

Giggles left both of you. Silently, he observed the way you were examining yourself. You had the mannerisms of a ballerina, each gesture as gracious as your dance. Hyunjin adored the curves of your body, but God knew he loved that of your smile even more.

Later, you were both laying on his bed, you in a starfish position. Hyunjin was at the edge of his bed, trying his best to not fall.

“Ballet was so hard today,” you sighed. You turned your body sideways, burying your face into Hyunjin’s chest. He could smell you in this closeness.

“Are you wearing my deodorant?” he queried, bowing to clasp his nose onto your shoulder. It felt like a kiss to him. “This is literally the smell of my deodorant.”

You shrugged. “Yeah? What about it? You should’ve gotten used to me taking your things by now, Hwang Hyunjin. I’ve been doing this our whole lives.”

Touché. The boy sighed, letting you fill in the silence with your babbles. Wordlessly, he listened to your words, letting it be the white noise to his thoughts.

His head was clearly not there. Unbeknownst to him, you knew of this. He’d been off all day. You’ve picked up on each signal, knowing him like the back of your hand. As much as you wanted to know what was wrong, you knew not to pry. You resorted to comfort instead.

Your fingertips met at the back of his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. He was never one for physical touch but sometimes, it helped. You leaned your head into his neck.

Gingerly, you whispered the words you thought he would need.

“You’re always here, around me. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

The exact words he did not need to hear that day.

How was he meant to tell you of his feelings now?

Especially when he was leaving — oceans away.

five.

Hyunjin had always loved soccer.

Whether it be being in the bleachers, or playing in the field. He loved doing both. There was something about the thrill of watching people play, and the adrenaline as he chased around the field.

Sitting in the bleachers, Hyunjin watched as his soccer team played. The sounds of his teammates laughing made the blazing sun a little more bearable. He lowered his cap to prevent the sunlight from getting in his eyes, chuckling when he saw Beomgyu falling face-first onto the grass.

He loved his soccer team. Every time he observed them play, Hyunjin’s heart always got overwhelmed with pride and joy. At that moment, he felt melancholy taking space too — the thought of not being able to play with them anymore hurting him more than he thought it would.

Hyunjin allowed for the melancholy to take space, allowed himself to feel — so much so that he didn’t feel Minho’s presence. Not until the older cleared his throat.

Minho sat beside him, “Why the long face, Hwang Hyunjin?”

“Huh?” startled, he looked up, face softening when he saw Minho. “Oh. Nothing. You’re not playing?”

“Nah,” Minho replied curtly. He silently analyzed the younger’s facial expressions before speaking up again. “For someone who’s going to Paris in two weeks, you sure don’t look too happy.”

Of course, Minho out of all people would notice the change in his mannerisms. Always the analyzing one, quick to notice changes in demeanour. There was no point in lying, not with Minho — so he let out the sigh he didn’t realize he was holding.

“It’s bittersweet, you know?” he mumbled, fiddling with his fingers.

“It’s Yn, isn’t it?”

“Huh?”

“You don’t want to part ways with her. It’s what’s holding you back.”

Right on. It was as though Minho was a mind-reader. A heavy weight pulled on Hyunjin’s heartstrings, made his heart even heavier than a few minutes prior.

“Yeah,” he didn’t lie, again. He looked at Minho, and the older could clearly see the uneasiness written all over his face. “If you were me… would you tell her about your feelings?”

“The fact that you like her?”

“Yeah.”

Minho fell silent. He pondered over the question, looking at the sight before him. The sun was setting, orange hues painting the sky. Hyunjin wondered if Paris sunsets would look the same.

“I think…” Minho turned towards the younger. He shook his head. “I wouldn’t tell her.”

“Why?”

“Won’t benefit you, I don’t think.” Hyunjin raised an eyebrow. “Listen. If you were to tell her, and she accepted, do you think you could get into a relationship with her?”

“I mean —”

Minho cut him, “Realistically, do you think the relationship would succeed? I mean, the time zone between Seoul and Paris is pretty big. The distance, too. I don’t think it would work out. And that’ll be bad, you know? You’ll both be left wondering what could have been.”

The truth hurt. The distance, the time — none of them were on Hyunjin’s side.

“And, if, God forbid, if she were to reject you… do you really want your last memory with her to be the hurt you’ll feel?”

Hyunjin shook his head. The other sighed, and patted him on the back.

“There are things better left unsaid. You should take her out. Spend your last time with her nicely.”

Despite Hyunjin’s stubbornness, he took Minho’s advice. It took him a lot of contemplating (and crying), but he followed it anyway. Whether he liked it or not, Minho’s advice had a lot of truth in it.

Bitter truths, but true regardless.

six.

“Where are we going?” you whined, trailing behind your dear friend. The sun was setting in two hours, orange hues were beginning to paint the sky. “Hyunnie, if you don’t tell me where we’re —”

“Please, stay patient. Will you?”

Hyunjin looked behind. He was wearing a blue knitted vest. In one hand, he held a picnic basket. The other, is your handbag. You never have to carry your own with him.

“But we’re literally in the middle of nowhere!”

“Please just trust me,” he pleaded. One hand was stretched towards you, a silent offer to hold his. “Come. If you’re too tired, I’ll give you a piggyback ride.”

Ever the opportunist, you took up on the offer. Alas, Hyunjin was left walking the remaining distance, you happily singing road trip songs while clinging onto his back. To butter him up, you told him that he must’ve been a blessing sent to you by God. Although he groaned at the remark, you couldn’t see the small smile on his face.

After a few minutes, you understood why Hyunjin was adamant about going out that day. Before you, green plains stretched as far as your eyes could see. Scattered across viridian shades were wildflowers. Some yellow, some pink.

Hyunjin had brought you to a flower field.

The picnic basket, and the Polaroid camera finally made sense.

Without any more words, you jumped off his back and ran into the field. The yellow sundress you wore matched that of the wildflowers. In Hyunjin’s eyes, you blended right in.

You were as pretty as the flowers.

“Careful, Yn! Don’t fall!” He called out, his voice echoing in the space. He watched you from afar. There was an urge to run among the flowers too, but he was much more content with watching you.

From a distance, in silence, he observed your every move. He couldn’t help the giggles that left his lips. The smile that lingered on his lips. He wanted this memory to last, to be ingrained in his brain forever. Soon, he wouldn’t be able to witness your happiness.

“Hyunnie, you need to come here! It’s so nice!”

Chuckling, he carefully placed the picnic basket on the ground. Hyunjin was done with setting up the picnic spot. He ran towards you, lifted you off the ground and twirled you around. You broke out into giggles and held onto his arms.

Among the flowers, two silhouettes danced with each other. Swaying to the same melody as the peonies. Despite being a ballerina, you kept stumbling onto Hyunjin’s feet, giggling each time he elicited an “ow.”

Like a scene from a movie.

Like he wasn’t going away soon.

Before the sun could set, Hyunjin convinced you to sit on the picnic blanket. He wished to dance with you longer, but alas, time awaits for no mortal.

“How do you want me to pose?” you asked. You were facing him, legs tucked sideways.

Hyunjin scooted closer to you, and wiped breadcrumbs off your lips. He commented on you eating messily. “You can pose however you want.”

You nodded, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Okay. Make sure you get my good angles, yeah?”

“You look good from any angle.”

Crimson crept up your face. You hadn’t expected that remark. You hoped he wouldn’t see you blush, you would just tell him it’s the sun then.

“Okay…”

Two clicks, then a flash went off. Your eyes widened, caught off-guard.

“You didn’t even count to three!”

Your whines were responded to with a giggle. The camera whirled, apprising you of a Polaroid developing. Hyunjin took it, fanning the Polaroid with a grin. He was excited to see it.

“I wasn’t ready!”

“Candid photos are better,” he sighed. “Don’t you know? Everything’s prettier when it’s genuine.”

“So you’re calling me pretty?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “Have I ever said you’re ugly?”

Right. He has never.

You prayed to God the heat on your face was from the sun and not from blushing.

Once the Polaroid fully developed, Hyunjin made sure he was the first to see it. To your dismay, he held it close to his face, shielding it from you. His cheeks dimpled, illustrating his happiness. You looked so pretty, the sunlight on your face giving you an angelic glow. If he looked closer, he was sure he’d see a halo.

Hyunjin wanted to keep this forever.

If he couldn’t freeze the time, he figured he’d trap the memories in photographs.

“Let me see!” you whined. “It’s a picture of me! I have the right to see it.”

Scampering towards him, you waved your hands, trying to get the photograph off his hand. To no avail, Hyunjin had quick reflexes much thanks to his soccer experience.

“No! You can’t — it’s for my eyes only!”

“Ridiculous! That’s my face, Hyunnie!”

“It’s my camera film. So it’s mine!”

Neither one of you would let up, legs entangling against each other as you fought over the photograph. He was determined to not let you even see the picture. One of your palms pressed against the picnic blanket, the other reaching up towards his hand. Hyunjin used his free hand to push you gently but alas, he underestimated his own strength. In one swift move, you lost your balance, toppling over him.

“Ow,” he fell back and winced in pain. He looked up, and all the back pain was suddenly replaced by shyness. There you were, on his lap — face just as flushed as his.

Hyunjin didn’t know what to do now.

Pathetically, he just stared into your eyes, finding himself getting caught in them. He could feel your hitched breaths against his chest, he was very aware of your trembling fingers on his arms. There was a strong urge to kiss you as his eyes fell onto your lips. He wondered how they’d feel on his lips. He imagined it in his head — missing the way your eyes stared at his lips too.

If you were a flower, Hyunjin would be a bee. He desired you, eyes tracing the shape of your lips. Over, and over. If he kissed you, would your lips taste like honey?

He ought to find out. Hesitantly, he inched his head closer to yours. The warmth of your breath against his skin marked the closeness between you.

Numerous scenarios flashed in Hyunjin’s mind. Of him kissing you senseless, then whispering a love confession in your ear. Of your cold fingers pressing into his skin as he tells you each perk of yours that he loved endlessly. The more he imagined, the closer he was. You shut your eyes, waiting for his lips to finally press onto yours.

Paris. The one-way plane ticket to Paris.

Against his heart’s desire, his fingers cupped your chin instead. Subtly, he pulled back, eyes trailing back up to your eyes. He ignored the look of confusion in your eyes.

Reaching down, he pocketed the photograph. His heart clenched as he spoke, but he did anyway.

“I win.”

The two words pulled you from your trance — they tore off your heart like paper. You blinked, watching the playful smirk that graced Hyunjin’s porcelain face.

“Oh.”

The whole journey home, bitterness sat on Hyunjin’s tongue like the aftertaste of tangerine pulp. Did you want the kiss too, or had his libido fabricated things?

Nevertheless, he couldn’t kiss you. Not when he had suitcases packed for Beaux-Art de Paris. Not when it’s all his parents could talk about.

Minho’s words played in Hyunjin’s mind like a broken record. They served as a reminder of what could not be. For the sake of his heart, he told himself that it had all been a figment of his imagination.

Tension cloaked the front door of your house. Neither of you made a noise, save for the jingling keys in your carabiner. You observed Hyunjin, who was busy looking at his shoes. Once again, his mind wasn’t in his head. It had been that way for a few weeks.

“See you soon?” you mumbled.

Hyunjin looked up, nodding at your words. He pulled you into a hug, one that almost crushed your bones. Shakingly, he nuzzled his head into your neck, burying his face into the skin like you would dissolve if he didn't. It must’ve hurt his back but you made no comment, instead you wrapped your arms around his neck, in hopes it'll give him solace. By the front door you held him, so tight that it was as though the two of you were one, the curves of his fingers burning through your skin.

You didn’t know that it was a goodbye. It had to stay that way.

Once more, his heart clenched in his chest. Two hands cupped your cheeks, as gentle as he could be, like you would break. He engraved this version of you into his memory — kind eyes boring into his with a soft smile plastered across the face he'd grown to adore. He vowed to always remember this face.

Deeply, he inhaled his breath. Preparing the next words — lies to say to you, no matter how tight his chest felt.

“Yeah, see you soon.”

The last words Hwang Hyunjin muttered to you.

seven.

One day before your birthday.

It had been two days since Hyunjin brought you to the meadow. You hadn’t seen him much, just glimpses of him as he played around with Kkami in his backyard. You figured that he was busy.

“Hello, I’m home!” you said in a sing-song voice as you stepped into the Hwang household. Kkami who’d usually greet you wasn’t in his usual spot, so you trudged straight to the kitchen, where Hyunjin’s mother was sitting. “Hi, Mrs Hwang.”

She looked up, lips twitching into a smile, a cookie-cutter of Hyunjin’s. Under the kitchen light, you don’t miss the dried tears by her eyes. You pursed your lips, wondering if she was watching a sad drama. Hyunjin inherited his trait of easily crying from his mother, after all.

“Hi, sweet girl,” she looked at your outfit from head to toe. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“Oh,” you muttered, giving her a little twirl. “My birthday outfit! Is it pretty?”

“Of course.”

You smiled at her, fiddling with the hem of your blouse. Keenly, you looked around the kitchen for any traces of Hyunjin. You realized that the house seemed much quieter than usual, emptier than normal.

“Where’s Hyunjin?” you asked. The reason why you’d come over was to show your best friend your birthday outfit. Now that you were there, he was nowhere to be seen. “Is he home?”

Sympathy materialized in the mother’s old eyes. She tilted her head at you, lips pursing as she thought of the correct words to say.

“My girl, did he not tell you?”

Confusion would be an understatement. Hyunjin told you everything, everything — from pointless thoughts to his deepest, darkest secrets. You were his secret keeper, his companion — there was nothing he wouldn’t tell you.

Was there?

It had to be something unimportant, right? Perhaps he was off to an art workshop and forgot to tell you. But looking at his mother, it felt like something big. You grew anxious under her sympathetic gaze.

“Tell me what?” you questioned, letting out a nervous chuckle.

“We just came back from Incheon Airport. He’s on a plane to Paris,” the lady replied. She stood up, inching closer towards your trembling figure. “Did he not tell you, Yn? I thought he did.”

“Paris?” you asked, blinking. “Like. For a vacation?”

“No, sweetheart. Beaux-Arts de Paris. He got into the school.”

The words felt like bullets on skin, penetrating and chagrining you deeply. It felt unreal — a hoax.

You scoffed, “What? He wouldn’t go without telling me.” Your eyes searched for humour in his mother’s eyes. “Is this like, a birthday prank?”

Her eyes saddened even more. “No, sweetheart. He really went.”

Another betrayal came in the form of tears cascading down your eyes without warning. The emotions hit you faster than your brain could process things. Speechless, you took steps back from his mother, before running up the staircase to his room.

He had to be there. Sitting in his swivel chair and laughing at your face. He’ll tell you it was a prank and wipe away your tears.

Hyunjin was your best friend of a lifetime. He wouldn’t do this to you. He had to be there.

When the door to his room swung open, a sob was knocked out of your mouth.

All traces of life in the bedroom were gone, save for the soft purrs of Kkami sleeping on the bed. The bed was stripped of its bedsheets, and the towels hanging behind the door were gone. The laundry bag was empty.

All traces of Hyunjin were gone.

The realization hit harder than his mother’s words. If the words hurt like bullets on skin, the sight of Hyunjin’s lifeless room felt like a knife twisted in your gut. It felt like sanguine dripping from wounds, and Hyunjin’s holding the knife. It felt like a betrayal.

“Hyunjin,” his name slipped from your lips like a plea. “Hyunjin.”

More choked sobs escaped your windpipes as you searched around the room. First, it was his wardrobe. The oak material was practically empty, all that remained were a couple of sleep tees and the shirts you’ve left over the years. You rummaged through the hangers, finding that he had brought one of your sweatshirts along.

The confirmation of his departure was the emptiness of his study table. Each nook and cranny of his table used to feel like Hyunjin, from the stacks of sketchbooks to eraser dust. Everything was Hyunjin — but at that moment, there was nothing. There was only a void — that of his desk and your heart.

Your best friend was truly gone.

“Hyunjin,” the name wrestled its way past your lips again. This time, it was out of longing. “Hyunjin.”

The manner in which you walked to his bed echoed your feelings. Quivering, like a toddler’s first time walking. Your body fell onto the bed, earning a soft whine from Kkami. Gently, you held Kkami in your arms, letting a stream of tears cascade down your cheeks. For the first time in a while, you allowed yourself to cry, to feel, to mourn.

If someone were to tell you that Hyunjin out of all people would make you cry that much, you would’ve laughed. Never in a million years, you’d say. The only times he had made you cry were from laughter.

“Kkami,” you cried. The chihuahua nuzzled its head into your arms, as though it could feel your sorrow. Perhaps it could. “I miss Hyunjin.”

The dog whined. It looked up to you, placing its paw onto your arm. You cried even more.

“I wanted to tell him about how I feel today,” through sobs, you managed to speak. “How could he make me feel so many things in one day and disappear the other? He didn't even say goodbye.”

It felt like the chihuahua was mourning with you — the way it nudged its head onto your arm, letting out soft whimpers. As though it was telling you that things will be okay.

You weren’t sure that it would. You spent your whole life with Hyunjin by your side, you had never known life without him. Now that he was ripped from your grasp, you didn’t know how to go on. No — he voluntarily released himself from your grasp, without warning. It was worse.

Physical traces of Hyunjin in his room were gone. There was only his scent — the smell of his shampoo, and his cologne. It lingered in the room, mocking you.

In your melancholic state of mind, you could only weep.

eight.

“Coffee, or tea?”

A female voice broke Hyunjin from his trance. He looked up at the stewardess standing by his seat, the sweatshirt doused in your scent crumpling in his tight grip.

“I want to get off this plane,” sat on his tongue and dissolved. He took a deep breath.

“Um,” he looked at the cart, “Plain water, please?”

Coffee would only force Hyunjin to stay awake, forcing him to listen to his own brain’s torments for 14 hours straight. Tea reminded him too much of you, of the times when you were little and would make him play tea party with you. He’ll think about the times you’d cheekily kiss his cheek, an attempt to woo him into playing with you. It worked each time.

The stewardess nodded, handing him a water bottle branded with the aeroplane’s logo. He muttered a thank you, yet the stewardess still didn’t walk away. She looked nice, her eyes analyzing Hyunjin told him that he must’ve looked like the epitome of a wreck.

“First time flying?” she questioned. It wasn’t his first time, having gone on many vacations before yet he nodded. “I see. It’ll be fine, just sit back and relax.”

The woman, whose name tag said Chaewon flashed Hyunjin a hospitality smile — one he didn’t think he deserved — then walked away. Hyunjin pursed his lips, wishing that she hadn’t walked away. He didn’t want to be left alone with his thoughts, he didn’t want to be awake, he didn’t want to be in this plane — there were a lot of things he didn’t want to do, but had to do.

Hyunjin wanted to turn back.

Silently, he looked out the window, watching as the landscapes of Seoul grew smaller, slowly becoming covered with clouds. He desperately wished to get out, praying to God that the plane would miraculously turn back and the tableau of Seoul would become bigger. Had he told the stewardess named Chaewon he wanted to get off, would they have let him? Had he told his parents he didn’t want to go to Paris, would they have understood?

If he tells you he’s sorry, would you forgive him?

Regrets and memories clouded his mind, tears making their way down his cheeks. Each thought strangled his heart, and he could feel it physically aching. In a melancholic state of mind he sat, clinging onto your sweatshirt like it was his lifeline, allowing slumber to slowly take over.

The break from his own thoughts did not last long enough.

Seven hours later, Hyunjin woke up to dried tears on his cheeks. He straightened his posture and glanced at the window, feeling a wave of emotions at the change of landscapes. Hyunjin wasn’t sure in which city they were flying over, but he could say with certainty that it did not look like Seoul. It did not feel like home, it did not feel like you.

Unable to fall back to sleep, he couldn’t help the thoughts that poisoned his mind. Looking over the landscapes, he came to a realization much too painful for his heart to bear.

You and him — you were the Sun, and he was the Moon. Two people of different circumstances, who’ll never meet, ripped away from the merciless hands of time. For your timezones were different — horizons even more.

As a wave of new tears descended, Hyunjin wondered if he would ever forget about you.

The answer came to him one afternoon three years later, as he laid on the couch in his Parisian apartment.

No, he’d never forget about you. At least not in three years. Maybe not even in five.

Sunlight seeped in through the balcony, providing Hyunjin the warmth he wasn’t able to receive from a person. His roommate was a French guy who was always out and about, leaving Hyunjin to soak in his own company for hours on end. Sometimes, for days. Hyunjin loved and hated it at the same time.

His limbs stretched across the burgundy couch, a yawn eliciting past his lips. Brown eyes stared at the canvas in front of him, black and white hues scattered on white, forming a half-finished painting of you.

Years later, and you remained at the back of his mind — his muse.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

nine.

There are five stages of grief.

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, then acceptance. Denial was the hardest for you, having spent your entire birthday staring at the front door of your house, praying Hyunjin would walk in. When your friends sang you a Happy Birthday, it sounded like a morose ballad playing from a broken record. Without Hyunjin, gloom sat at the centre of even the happiest things.

Then came a sixth stage — one that seemed to exist for you.

Motivation.

After coming to acceptance that your best friend had gone, without any farewell, you spent many hours a day in the ballet studio. Pirouette, arabesque, plié — you managed to polish each move with the amount of time you spent cooped up in the studio. You weren’t born with ballet feet, but the times spent in pointe shoes had somehow moulded you into having them.

Perhaps, it was distraction, disguised as motivation.

Nevertheless, the tireless hours of practice granted you a position in the Paris Ballet School.

Paris felt bittersweet when you first landed. It was the city of your dreams, but the reminiscence of the person it took from you made you loathe it.

Withal, life had to go on. To cope with the Parisian lifestyle, you managed to get a job at a cafe near your academy — Desir Cafe. You worked night shifts as a kitchen crew but if traffic was overwhelming in the afternoons, your shitty excuse of a boss would make you come in anyway.

Unfortunately for you, it was one of those days. Clinks and sizzles reverberated in the kitchen, the peg board overwhelmed with sticky notes of orders. You were everywhere in the kitchen, from piping icing on cupcakes to sprinkling chocolate rice on pastries.

“Yn,” the main baker yelled, “Tell Double C’s we can’t stock up on macarons! We’re out of almond flour!”

The Double C’s — Charlotte, and Colette. They were a duo who worked as waitresses, always gossiping. Birds of the same feather, attached by the hip.

Exasperated, you headed to the front, swinging the kitchen door open to see the duo gossiping. Charlotte was leaning in towards Colette, whispering into her ear, earning giggles from the other. You sighed, wondering what the topic was that afternoon. Curious as to who they were gossiping about, you looked towards the direction they were looking.

Seated alone at the corner of the cafe was a guy, blonde hair gleaming golden from the sunlight seeping through the big window. His utmost focus was on the sketchbook in front of him, frail fingers dancing across paper, entrancing any eyes which fell upon him. You couldn’t help but stare, your face gradually contorting into disbelief.

He resembled too much like Hyunjin — your Hyunjin.

Your gaze lingered on the man, analyzing each crease of his face, matching it with the one you had in mind. He looked just like Hyunjin, from the shape of his nose to the mole under his eye. The only difference was the hair. Hyunjin’s hair was raven black, but the person in the cafe had golden blonde hair. You felt your throat tighten. If the man sitting at the corner was him, then time had done good on him. He was beautiful, face sculptured beautifully by time’s gentle hands.

“Ooh, look who’s ogling!” a high-pitched voice interrupted you. You looked up to see the Double C’s looking at you, wiggling their eyebrows mischievously. Charlotte smirked, “Think the guy’s cute?”

“Huh? What guy?” you lied, feeling your cheeks heat up.

Colette rolled her eyes. “The dude over there! Don’t lie, you think he’s cute.” The brunette wiggled her eyebrows even more, subtly pointing at the man.

You didn’t say anything else, but your eyes travelled back to the familiar silhouette. The sense of familiarity tugged on fragile heartstrings the more you looked at him. Colette could sense your curiosity, so she parted her lips to speak.

“That’s Hyunjin. He’s a student in Beaux-Arts de Paris,” she muttered, unbeknownst to her the mixed emotions that dawned upon you. “He comes here almost every afternoon. Maybe that’s why you’ve never seen him before. He’s cute, isn’t he?”

Excitedly, Charlotte nodded her head. “A total heart-throb, honestly.”

“I mean…” your voice trailed, “He’s quite alright.”

How were you supposed to react to finally seeing the one who got away? Were you supposed to feel excited, or upset? It was like the moon had suddenly dropped down onto your lap.

You were confused.

Charlotte continued speaking, not realizing the mixture of emotions in your face. “Sometimes, the students have exhibitions about ten minutes from here. His artworks always make it to the exhibitions. I’ve seen them, and they’re really beautiful.”

You turned towards her, “Exhibitions?”

She nodded, still naive as to your shift in behaviour. “I think the school has an exhibition every three months or so.”

Unfaltering, your eyes bored holes in Hyunjin’s back. He was in his own little world, evidently absorbed in whatever piece he was working on. Just like that, the memories you spent years suppressing came rushing back.

It was unfair, the impact he had on you. There he was, lounging in a corner while your heart grappled in your chest. He looked older, better — and you were still the little girl in the tree house. Swaying your feet as they dangled, as though you had all the time in the world.

Charlotte and Colette exchanged looks as you stared at him. To them, you were simply developing a crush on a stranger. They wouldn’t understand the conflict brewing in you, they wouldn’t be able to comprehend the ache that stirred in the depths of your heart.

“What? You’re interested in him?” Charlotte spoke, breaking you off your trance. You looked at her, blinking. “Don’t even try. I’ve tried. I think he’s gay.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What?”

“He’s not gay — oh my god, Lottie!” it was Colette’s turn to speak. Playfully, she smacked the other’s arm. “I asked that guy he’s always with, the songwriter — Felix. Cute guy, that one. Felix told me that he’s got a secret lover or something.”

“Secret lover?”

“Yeah. Apparently, he likes to draw this one girl. His sketchbook’s filled with her,” Colette murmured, glancing at Hyunjin. “Felix asked her who she was, and he said it’s a girl of his dreams.”

Your heart dropped. You weren’t sure to which news you should react first, either Charlotte hitting up on your Hyunjin, or that he has a secret lover. Either way, it made you pathetically jealous. Your heartstrings thrummed in anger as you imagined a beautiful French girl spread out on his bed, and Charlotte hitting up on your Hyunjin.

How could he go on with his life when you spent years mourning him?

Crimson tainted your lip as you bit on it hard, the taste of metal at the tip of your tongue.

Perhaps, you never made it past the anger stage of your grief.

ten.

You truly tried to be happy for Hyunjin.

For days, weeks — you spent convincing yourself that you had to be happy for him. Sure, he hurt you three years ago. Sure, you spent years in agony, regretting not telling him how you felt earlier, wondering what could’ve been. Sure, you hoped that you’d see him in Paris and he’d tell you that he’s in love with you and kiss you senseless — but those were just desperate prayers, weren’t they? Those were simply hopeful scenarios. You hadn’t expected them to come true, had you?

Hyunjin was your best friend of years. He deserved happiness, even when you didn’t feel happy. You had to let things go. You had to be happy for him.

Clearly, you failed at convincing yourself.

In front of a building you stood, the sound of people walking past becoming white noise. You stared at the banner standing in front of you, the words Autumn Exhibition displayed, with the logo of Beaux-Arts de Paris at the top. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat.

A week ago, Charlotte told you that the university would be holding another exhibition, and Hyunjin’s artworks most likely made it into the exhibition. You knew then, that you had to go. If you didn’t get to see him, then you at least wanted to see his pieces. To not be a part of his life was devastating, you wished to at least witness glimpses of it.

9:45 p.m. was displayed on your screen, people were beginning to leave the exhibition. There weren’t many people around, which was what you were hoping for. Visiting the exhibition in daylight meant potentially bumping into Hyunjin, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that.

One day you ought to meet him, but not today. Not when the fragments of your heart have yet to be mended.

After taking a deep breath, you willed yourself to step into the exhibition. A gust of wind hit your face, and you shivered, clutching your coat tight. The art display seemed to be painting-themed, the way frames of canvases were scattered around the building. Baroque paintings were displayed all over, each piece as beautiful as skies at dusk.

The tapping of your heels against the ceramic tiles sounded as you walked, the romantic lighting of the room providing you with a sense of comfort. Wildly, your eyes observed each piece, letting your heart be swayed by the beauty.

They were all beautiful — but they didn’t feel like Hyunjin.

Until your eyes trailed to a certain piece.

It was the centrepiece, the piece — little bulbs of lights were installed above the frame, making the piece feel alive. The moment your gaze fell on the artwork, you couldn’t help but feel drawn in, taking hurried steps towards it. You stared, unable to take your eyes off the hues on the canvas.

There weren’t many hues, just black and white. It depicted two figures on swings. You couldn’t see the figures clearly but you could tell they looked happy. You could see through the strokes of paint that they were happy — though the artist not so. There was a certain sadness in the painting, one that screamed nostalgia.

The longer you looked at the piece, the more you realized.

It was a fragment of your memory.

Your breath hitched. In came a memory of you and Hyunjin — running around the park before playing on swings. It was a particularly memorable day, you could recall falling off the swing and Hyunjin kneeling in front of you, kissing the bruises on your knees with the tenderness of a feather. It was the first time you felt so protected, and so loved.

A rush of emotions overcame you, you wondered if that was how Hyunjin felt when he painted it. Had he thought of you, and wept by his easel? Had he stained his cheeks with charcoal as he wiped stray tears off his face?

You wondered, so much so that you failed to realize a silhouette entering the display.

Hyunjin didn’t enjoy art exhibitions in daylight. They felt pompous. The people who visited the exhibitions would usually walk around casually, and took photos. They didn’t harbour any sort of deep appreciation towards art, they didn’t sit and admire.

Therefore, Hyunjin loved revisiting exhibitions in the comfort of twilight. When the expositions were empty, he enjoyed revisiting them, taking his sweet time to admire each piece.

When he spotted a figure standing before his piece — his most vulnerable piece, he felt his heart drop. He watched from afar as this person observed the artwork, body as still as a mannequin. He had never witnessed someone admire a piece this intensely, especially with it being one of his pieces. He felt flattered, his heart swelling in pride and joy.

Silently, Hyunjin approached the figure. Usually, he was shy, not the type to approach people first but somehow, he felt the strong urge to this time. Fate was pulling him by his heartstrings.

“That’s my painting,” Hyunjin spoke, ensuring his voice was as soft as possible.

The sudden voice startled you. You whipped your head towards the source of the noise, eyes widened in shock. They widened even more at the sight before you.

Hyunjin’s breath hitched. His heartbeats escalated, taking in the figure standing in front of him. His fingers dug into the skin of his thumb, lips quivering. Brown doe eyes mirrored yours.

“Wh — what?” he spoke again, breathless. “Yn?”

A few steps were taken, inching closer towards you. His eyes scanned your face, lips quivering even more when he realized that it was you — you were real, and you were standing in front of him. You looked the same as you did three years ago, except more beautiful. How’d you get more beautiful? The passage of time had seemingly been good to you, the way it had carved your face into one Hyunjin could imagine himself filling his canvases with.

“Hyunjin,” you willed yourself to speak. You ignored the way your eyes watered. “It’s you.”

“It’s you, too. You’re here.”

Another few, brave steps were taken. You, on the other hand, didn’t move an inch.

“I hate you,” the words spilt past sanguine mouth before you could stop them, its venom contrasting the hushed tone of your voice. They crushed Hyunjin’s heart, though he knew he deserved them. “But I missed you.”

“I’m sorry,” was all that he could say. Hyunjin meant it. He really was sorry. He was sorry as he sent you back from the meadow, too cowardly to bid you goodbye. He was sorry when he packed his bags, stealing one of your sweatshirts for solace. He was sorry when he was on the plane, wishing he could turn back time. He was sorry when he painted numerous portraits of you. He was sorry as he stood before you, watching tears flow down your cheeks because it was the least he could do — a form of punishment for what he had done to you.

You shook your head, palms rushing towards your face to wipe away tears.

“It’s not enough, I know,” he mumbled, moving closer towards you to wipe your tears, like it was instinct, feeling his heart clench when you took steps back. “But I truly am sorry.”

“You didn’t even say goodbye,” you sobbed, vision blurry. “You didn’t even contact me.”

“I know, Yn, I know — I’m sorry. I wanted to call you, but I couldn’t,” he rambled, cupping your cheeks and rubbing on the skin. You allowed him to. “I swear, I wanted to write to you, but I was too embarrassed, and by the time I had enough courage it was already too late.”

Sobs wrestled their way past your lips, barely able to form coherent words. You kept shaking your head, blurting out the words you’ve kept for years.

“You just left me, Hyunjin — you left me. A day before my birthday,” your whimpers got louder, “I wanted to tell you I’m in love with you, on my birthday. Hell, three years later and I’m still in love with you.”

Hyunjin’s face paled. He had expected curses, and cries — but he hadn’t expected that. Anything, but that. His limbs moved before his brain could process things, lifting your chin to meet eyes. Your eyes were tinted with tears, but you were still beautiful. You’re always beautiful.

“What?” he squeezed your cheeks, “Yn, what?”

“You heard me. I’m not saying it again. It's fucking pathetic.”

“Fuck,” he exhaled. Hyunjin knew he was supposed to feel remorse, but God — his heart bloomed at the words you had whispered to him. You’re in love with him. You’re in love with him, the same way he was in love with you. “Fuck, Yn. You can't just say shit like that.”

Feather-like touches grazed your lips. There was a certain look in Hyunjin's eyes, one that you couldn't quite figure out — they were a look of longing. How could you know it was longing when you had never bear witness to them? You could feel his breath against your face, warm like his fingertips.

“You have no fucking idea how long I've been in love with you. You have no idea how much I missed you. Fuck, I think about you every fucking day,” he whispered, “You have no idea how much I regret getting on that plane.”

At that moment, all you could feel was Hyunjin. His deep, brown eyes staring into yours and his thumb pressing onto your lip.

“Kiss me,” you whispered back, “Kiss me, Hwang Hyunjin.”

And kiss you, he did. His lips crashed against yours with fervour, moving his lips to the same beat as his racing heart. You kissed back in the same manner, letting out the emotions you had bottled up.

I love you, I love you — each movement of his lips was a love confession, etching his adoration onto the curves of your lips. You caressed his cheeks akin to holding stars in your palms — careful, precious.

Finally, you pulled apart to catch your breaths, bodies heaving against each other.

“Please, give me a second chance.”

It’s odd the way human minds work, because at that very moment, you were reminded of Colette's words. Ones that mentioned a rumoured secret lover.

“But,” you felt silly for saying it, “Your secret lover?”

“My secret lover?” the boy's eyebrows furrowed. He then chuckled upon realization. The rumour must've spread to you. “Ah, that secret lover. It's you, idiot.”

He smiled. You didn’t think anyone could look as beautiful as he did.

“It's always been you.”

eleven.

“Careful — come on, get under here.”

Giggles echoed in the alleyways as two shadows lingered in the darkness of midnight. It was raining, the pavements darkening with wetness and the wind howling a sweet melody. At that particular hour, under the moonlight, Paris looked like the city of love.

You rushed out of the exposition hall, getting under Hyunjin’s leather jacket. He’d promised you the date of your lifetime that night, and he wasn’t one to break his promises.

Hyunjin’s back was damp from the rain, but it didn’t matter as long as not a droplet landed on your body. It only took a few minutes (and a lot of giggles in between) to reach Hyunjin’s so-called secret spot.

Streetlights shone on a bench, and clusters of flowers surrounded a little pond. The spot overlooked the city, you could see the city lights from all the way up here. You gasped in awe, it’s no wonder Hyunjin insisted on coming here.

“So beautiful,” you whispered. Hyunjin smiled softly, moving closer towards you on the bench and wrapped an arm around your waist.

While fondly looking at your visage, he muttered. “Yeah, it’s pretty.”

“How’d you find this place?”

“I found it while I was walking one night,” he explained, resting his head on yours. You could smell his shampoo in this closeness. “I was sad. This garden reminded me of the one we used to go to when we were kids.”

Your heart swelled at the confession.

“It does resemble that one a lot.”

The skies were still drizzling rain, but you were both a little sheltered much thanks to the oak tree above you. Only droplets dripped, falling onto your head but it was a nice sensation. Besides, you couldn’t feel the cold when you’re nuzzled in Hyunjin’s arm, blanketed in his familiar warmth. You allowed silence to third-wheel you, eyes busied with observing the sight. Silence was always comfortable with Hyunjin. The time spent apart hadn’t changed that.

He wouldn’t leave you alone, his skin constantly touching yours. It burned against you. You didn’t mind it. Instead, you basked in his love, listening to the sounds of his heartbeats as your head rested on his chest. He intertwined your fingers together, his thumb rubbing against yours. He wouldn’t let go of you, not even when he bent down to pluck a flower, slipping the daffodil onto your ear.

“I missed you,” he murmured. You weren’t sure how much he’d repeated that phrase but you liked it. “I truly did.”

For the thousandth time that night, you responded. “I missed you too.”

The conversation changed into one about your lives, catching up on each other’s shenanigans. It was comfortable, being with Hyunjin. Topics changed seamlessly. You didn’t have to put much effort into talking to him, you just had to be there.

Softly, his hands moved towards your feet, taking off one of your shoes. He held onto your ankle, tracing his pointer across your sole. You giggled, the feather-like touches tickled.

“You still have the feet of a ballerina.”

“Of course, silly,” you scoffed, “I am one after all.”

“I’m so glad that your dreams came true,” he whispered, putting your leg down. He cupped your cheek, showcasing a fond smile that stretched to his ears. “I’m really happy that you’re here.”

“Of course,” you repeated. “You told me you’d be wherever I am. It’s only fair I returned the favour.”

The words knocked out Hyunjin’s breath, and it filled his soul with so much adoration, he felt like he could burst. A pleading expression was written all over his porcelain visage, the way in which he squeezed your hand expressing his feelings even more.

“Please,” he pleaded. “I need to be yours.”

You kissed him, for the second time that night.

“I’m already yours, Hyunnie.”

twelve.

Things with Hyunjin had been going exceptionally well.

After the fated night, you carried on with so much happiness that you practically beamed everywhere you went. One time when you clocked into work, the Double C’s made kissy noises at you, and Charlotte had whispered, “You must’ve had crazy good sex last night.”

You couldn’t deny it, of course.

Date nights with Hyunjin happened thrice a week, with coffee runs in between classes. The Paris Ballet School and Beaux-Arts de Paris weren’t that far from each other, allowing you to sneak lunches together almost daily. Though you had to admit that even if the universities were far, Hyunjin definitely wouldn’t mind spending extra time just to see you. Sometimes, he’d watch you dance, and sometimes, you’d watch him paint.

It was like you were both making up for the lack of each other the past three years.

After just two weeks of your relationship, you were acquainted with the comfort of Hyunjin’s home. His roommate was barely home, so you felt comfortable with coming over often. Most weekends, you’d spend the night over.

Morning birds chirped a jolly ballad, waking you from your slumber. You stretched, feeling the heat of Hyunjin’s skin against yours. You couldn’t help the smile that grazed your face when you looked at him, fast asleep under the duvets beside you. Sleepily, you pressed a kiss onto his bare shoulder, then traced the memories of last night, tattooed on his skin in the form of bruises. It pulled a whine from him, moving under the duvet to press himself impossibly closer towards you.

“Flower,” he mumbled, morning voice husky, “I'm cold.”

“Then come cuddle.”

He did as told, wrapping strong arms around you. You felt his fingers ghost against your naked spine, sending heat straight to your core. You couldn't help the whimper that left you, earning a playful grin from your boyfriend.

“It's too early to get in the mood, no? Baby?”

Flushed, you smacked his arm. “Shut up.”

Hyunjin giggled, leaning towards you to press kisses onto your face. Mornings with him were often spent like this — limbs entangled, as if you were one.

“Need to shower, baby,” he sighed, “Have an exhibition today.”

To your dismay, he slowly pulled away from you, missing the warmth of his body.

“You coming to the exposition?”

“Of course,” you hummed. “Go shower. Can I borrow your laptop while you're in the shower?”

“Yeah, baby. The password's your birthday.”

He got up from the bed, and you flushed as you looked at his bare body. Unluckily for you, your boyfriend quickly noticed your flushed face, taking it as an opportunity to throw a pillow at you and call you a pervert. You rolled your eyes, watching him enter the bathroom before getting up, wrapping the duvet around your naked body.

You walked towards his study to retrieve his laptop, smiling at the artworks displayed on his peg board. One was of you — a painting of the Polaroid he took of you back in the meadow. The Polaroid itself sat at the back of his phone case. He had never taken it out since the first time he put it in back then.

Whilst humming to a melody, you kicked in the digits of your birthday. The laptop unlocked, showcasing the unclosed tabs.

Your eyes widened at the words written on the screen.

Congratulations, you've been chosen for a student exchange programme to Rome.

Your heart skipped a beat. Repeatedly, your eyes skimmed the words on the screen. You didn't mean to pry but you scrolled through the email, feeling your heart sink upon seeing the date it was sent.

Over a week ago.

Yet Hyunjin hadn't told you anything.

After all these years, he was still keeping secrets from you. You couldn't handle it, and so for the sake of your heart you exited the tab, and shut down the laptop. Careful as to not make much noise, you got dressed.

“Hyunjin,” you knocked on the bathroom door. “Need to be at the academy now. Bye.”

You needed to be away from him — you needed to clear your head.

thirteen.

You hadn't seen Hyunjin for a week.

The texts from him you didn't avoid, responding each time he sent a message. However, you'd been dodging his requests of meeting, under the guise of practice when in truth, you hadn’t gone for classes in a week. You spent your days moping in your apartment.

Perhaps it was a little childish of you to do, but you couldn't bear the thought of going through what you did before. You'd tasted a life without Hyunjin, and you were certain you didn't want to live through it again. This was your way of mentally preparing for that life again.

Your limbs lazily stretched across the cotton duvet as a vinyl played in the background. A melodramatic song played, matching the current tune of your heart. You weren't entirely sure what time it was, but the sound of the apartment bell ringing hinted that it was afternoon. It must be the takeout your roommate ordered.

“Reine,” a familiar voice reverberated in your apartment. “Where's Yn?”

“In her bedroom,” your roommate, Reine replied in her thick French accent. “She's been in there moping all week.”

Damn you, Reine.

Quickly, you buried yourself in your duvet, anticipating the footsteps which approached your room. Soon, your door swung open, and you could smell the white gardenia in his cologne.

“My flower,” his voice tempted you to look, “What’s going on, sweet girl?”

It didn’t help that each syllable that slipped past his lips felt like honey.

You felt his hands pull down your duvet before you came face to face with your boyfriend. He stood before you, hair slicked back and the white blouse he wore accentuated his shoulders. In his hands was a bouquet of flowers, patches of peonies and daffodils peeking from the wrapper.

You didn’t utter any words, simply looking at him with watery doe eyes. He didn’t miss the glint of tears, immediately setting the bouquet on your nightstand to get onto the bed. Tenderly, he pulled you onto his lap.

“You look so sad,” he mumbled, “Can my sweet girl please tell me why she’s so sad?”

Damn, him. How were you supposed to stand a chance when he was so ridiculously handsome and sweet?

Trembling, you parted your lips to speak.

“You’re hiding things from me.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What things, baby?”

Your eyes shot daggers at him, bottom lip forming into a pout. Hyunjin had to stop himself from leaning in and biting it.

“You got offered to an exchange student programme,” you finally bit the bullet. “You’re planning on keeping it a secret and just leaving me again, aren’t you?”

Ah.

Hyunjin’s eyes softened. He sighed, caressing your cheek in his hand. He shook his head as his free hand rested on your thigh, massaging the supple skin.

“No, I’m rejecting it,” he answered. “I didn’t tell you because I thought there was no point in telling you if I didn’t even want to go.”

“What?” you responded, voice a little higher than you intended it to be. Your eyes scanned his for any lies. “Hyunjin — it’s a good opportunity.”

“What, you don’t want me here anymore?” he joked, raising an eyebrow at you. “Baby, Paris is already enough for me. I don’t really want to move again.”

You nodded at his words. A huge part of you felt relieved — and you felt awful for feeling that way.

Love, sometimes, is about being selfish after all.

“Were you sad because you thought I was going?” your boyfriend queried, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

You shrugged. “A little. I was more mad that you didn’t tell me.”

“Oh,” he nodded, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret, I just didn’t mention it because it felt insignificant.”

“I want you to tell me things,” you mumbled, wrapping your arms around his neck. It left goosebumps in its wake. “I want to know these things.”

“Okay," he mumbled. Something about his compliance made you feel fonder of him. "I'll start telling you these things."

A sigh of relief left your lips. You had known Hyunjin for years, but being with him was different. A good kind of difference. It would take you a while to adjust to these changes — but it was the kind of changes you'd want to adjust to.

Hyunjin's fingers trailed to your hips, ghosting over your skin until they reached your thighs. He traced the stretch marks there, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You couldn't help the whine that left your mouth, and the heat that arose, tainting the tips of your ears in crimson. Hyunjin enjoyed this — flustering you with his ministrations. He allowed you to nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, whimpering as he felt your lips litter kisses on his most sensitive spots.

"I love you," he confessed, like honey dripping from lips. "Promise I'll be wherever you are."

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