#they change order sometimes but i can often tell from the first seconds if i'm liking it or not

[himbeereule]

Орлёнок Demo Release

Finally, the demo is here! It's not exactly January anymore, but better late than never, right?

You can play it right here!

I also made a post on the CoG forums, if you want to check it out: Link

Features include:

Meeting your family! And getting bullied.

Getting executed!

Rising from the dead!

Celebrating life by slaughtering some rebels!

(Being extremely miserable!)

Feedback:

This is, quite obviously, a work in progress. It is made available so that you, the reader, can give feedback that improves the game.

So, while you can - and should - obviously tell me whatever you want, a specific list of what I need most in terms of feedback can be found here:

Language. English is not my first language (actually, not even my second one), and I mostly read non-fiction academic works when I read in English, so my writing is certainly not at the level it should be. If you have any concrete issues, please tell me, and I'll try to learn how it can be improved.

Spelling. I don't expect much in the way of outright errors, but I do know that I mix up British and American English all the time. The intended style is American English, so please point out spellings that are wrong in that regard.

Inconsistencies. There are a lot of variations between scenes, and I'd like to make the story as immersive as possible; so, if a phrasing, a character's behaviour etc. feel like they don't fit into the choices you previously made, please tell me. In detail, if possible, otherwise I won't be able to amend it.

Sensory descriptions. AuDHD makes my brain process sensations, including visual impressions, very differently, which means I often end up forgetting those exist. Please tell me about scenes that lack description in that regard. (My first grade elementary school report card called my writing 'efficient and devoid of feelings', and I'd very much like to move past that.)

Technical problems. The code should be pretty solid, but with how complicated it is, it'd be weird if there weren't at least some problems. If you find them, please try to include as much detail as possible when telling me about it. (CS Quicktest and Randomtest are not usable due to the complexity of the code, lol.)

You liking the story. I remain thoroughly convinced that I am a worthless person who isn't able to, nor deserves to create anything, and currently my only motivation to continue this project is derived from pure stubbornness. So, if you, for some reason, actually like this demo, please tell me. It won't change my mind about how bad I think it is, but it will force me to continue in order to avoid being even more of a disappointment.

Additions. If I like your idea, I'll probably add it right away; if I'm unsure, I'll do a poll. You can get me to do almost anything if you say you're sad if I don't do it.

Formatting. Although I try to playtest as much as possible, it's not that easy with how many variations there are, and in VS Code it's sometimes hard to see how well or badly readable text passages actually are.

CWs/TWs (v0.0.1):

Graphic violence and gore

Attempted sexual assault (against the player, avoidable, f!MC only; also against an NPC if massacre route is chosen (is dealt with quickly))

Suicide attempt (by the player, avoidable; f!MC only)

Loss of loved ones

Massacre of civilians and/or PoWs (avoidable)

General misery

(please let me know if you think this needs additions)

As of yet unfinished content:

Autistic variations do not exist yet for the latter part of the demo

Only one of three locations for taking a walk available for now

Tooltips are incomplete

Asexual is not available yet, as it requires a lot of additional scene variation text

Special (psychopath) routes are missing from some scenes as they were added late in development

Choices that are locked and marked as (WIP) are unfinished

Interaction routes for Semyon/Selena, Mikhail/Marina and Leon/Leah. They are top priority for the first set of updates

It is recommended that you play this with a stable state of mind. If you choose the suffering paths because it's relatable and/or as a coping strategy, please make sure you have support available and avoid triggering yourself too much.

The whole point of this game (apart from the dress-up part) is that, no matter how bad things get, you shouldn't stop fighting. It's your enemies who deserve destruction, not you.

Please keep in mind that I am both literally insane and pretty reasonable, so: if there is anything you find grossly offensive, don't assume I meant anything bad by it. Just explain to me why you think it shouldn't exist, and if I am convinced, I will amend it.

#choicescript #eaglet #орлёнок #interactive fiction #wip #work in progress #if demo #release

[euphoric-dramione]

manacled

tw: spoilers for manacled

this one will be long, so brace yourselves

I first read Manacled in 2020, and it must've been the third Dramione fanfic I ever read, so I was truly very impressed with how well written it was. It remained the best and my favorite fanfic up until I started rereading it recently, and I'm writing this rant because I just finished rereading Manacled for a third time and I have some thoughts.

Firstly, it's important to state that back in 2020 I was still a high-school student, I loved reading books, especially classic literature, but I had little understanding of why some pieces of literature become classics and others don't. I just liked reading, and just like many other people, I thought that fanfiction was bad because all I've ever known at that point was Wattpad. Manacled changed my opinion. It was the best thing I had ever read, but I was only nineteen.

Now I am twenty-three, I have a degree in English literature, and although it might mean nothing to some people, it proves to me that I can read and understand texts as well as view them critically - my degree gave me tools to approach things I read and see using critical thinking skills. I don't want to critique Manacled because I think that all fanfiction is a wonderful gift that writers give readers for free, asking nothing in return, and that is such a lovely concept, so please keep that in mind when you read and review fanfiction. My critique stems more from what Manacled tells about the way we read classic literature, books in general, and how we deal when we face dubious morality. There is a thin line between books and literature - sometimes that line doesn't even exist. All literature is books, but not all books are literature. Just like all books are texts, but not all texts are books. What is Manacled then?

I'm choosing to speak about Manacled because I think it does a very interesting thing. It is an intertext of two books - Harry Potter and The Handmaid's Tale. Both of them are books, only one of them is literature, however in Manacled they are treated the same.

The Handmaid's Tale is a gruesome novel about a dystopian world where fertile women are slaves to men, their ability to bare children used as a weapon to exploit them. As the author herself, Margaret Atwood, stated, everything depicted in this novel had in some place or some time actually happened to women.

Rape in The Handmaid's Tale is a way for men to demonstrate how much power they have over women, and how they use that power to humiliate and control every aspect of women's lives, especially their reproductive health. Manacled picks up the very carcass of the story of The Handmaid's Tale and inserts it into a dark AU Harry Potter universe where the second wizarding war with Voldemort still continues some years later. Whereas The Handmaid's Tale is a thought-provoking feminist masterpiece about women's struggles and the never-ending violence perpetuated within walls of patriarchy, Manacled focuses solely on one woman and one man. The woman being Hermione Granger who is forced to bear Draco Malfoy's child in order to get her memories back, so Voldemort could rule forever. Later on, we figure out that Hermione and Draco were actually in love, but war set them apart, and it's him Hermione tried to protect by erasing her own memory. Here lies the distinction. Not only does Manacled say nothing about feminism and how women's bodies become war battlefields for, most often, men. Not speaking up on something in the intertext is absolutely nothing wrong. But Manacled does something else, something that I now see so clearly upon rereading, and something which I can neither forgive nor forget. It romanticizes rape. You might say I'm being too callous saying that it romanticizes rape when it is simply depicting in, and I will explain why I chose the word romanticizes.

Although Manacled doesn't allow us to attribute good or bad traits to characters, it is still very clear that Hermione is the heroine in this story and Draco - the hero with antihero characteristics. How do we deal with the fact that our hero hurt our heroine? We look for excuses. Draco Malfoy rapes Hermione, and we're looking for excuses as to why he did it. Some excuses are these: he did it because he loved her, because if he hadn't raped her, Voldemort would've found out that they were hiding something, and then would've killed them both; he did it, but it hurt him even more than it hurt her (it is true that both the victim and the perpetrator might be equally traumatized by an event one caused and another had to suffer through, but it never excuses the perpetrator); and finally - he did it because he had no other choice. Side tangent, but if my loved one ever has to choose between murdering me or raping me, I hope they kill me. Murder me a million times before you rape me once, that will be a greater mercy. And I believe had Draco actually loved Hermione as much as he claimed, he would've murdered her before he laid a finger on her. Let's also have in mind that he rapes her not once, not twice, but over THIRTY times.

While The Handmaid's Tale tirelessly shows that rape is the worst thing that one person can do to another, Manacled, with all its horrifying depiction, claims the complete opposite. Draco Malfoy rapes Hermione Granger, and although he doesn't take pleasure in it, he still does it. We find excuses for it because he is a hero of the story in our eyes, the same way that we find excuses for our favorite famous men when we find out they committed atrocious acts especially against women. When we read Manacled, we are encouraged to believe that rape is sometimes unavoidable, which is the greatest lie of all, it is blasphemous. Because it's Draco Malfoy committing the rape, it seems that sometimes a person has no other choice but to rape another which is a complete antithesis to what Margaret Atwood, and many other modern feminist thinkers claim. Of course, we don't need feminst thinkers to tell us rape is bad, but we might need to think a little deeper to understand that it is never something one has to do.

Rape is always avoidable, never necessary. It is perhaps the only crime that is committed not for some particular reason, but solely because one person wants to hurt another. Murder, theft, these are the crimes that a criminal might commit because they're poor, because they're are being blackmailed, because it's self-defense, etc. However, rape is such a horrifying crime specifically because you can always choose not to do it, and specifically because it is so hard to recover from - rape victims suffer more extreme and longer-lasting cases of PTSD than victims of any other crime because rape is so horrible and death might be considered dignified compared to rape, not better, but more merciful than rape. Draco Malfoy might be a lot of things in Manacled, but one of them is a rapist, and there is simply no going on around it. If you can forgive him, I hope it's because of all the other fanfics you've read where he was good and kind, and not because here he had no other choice but to rape, because that is simply not true. He had a choice, many choices, to be exact. The choice is always there. The most important thing is what we choose.

This is in no way an attack on Manacled, it is not a review nor is it hatespeech - I thoroughly enjoyed this fanfic back when I read it the first time, and I do think it is incredibly well-written, and I am not comparing it to any other published works because that would be unfair. I believe the things I've talked about have more to do with what regular people who are not writers write and how regular readers who do not read classics all the time accept and discuss that work later on. Anyone could've written something romanticizing rape, and many people do it all the time, some even get published and make money off it, but not all people can write as well as the author of Manacled, and even less would be ready to give us their work to read for free. I purposely do not mention the pseudonym of the author because I am also not attacking them personally, simply pointing out what I've noticed. Thank you for reading all the way to the end.

#feminism #intersectional feminism #the handmaid's tale #margaret atwood #manacled #dramione #dramione fanfiction #critical thinking #literature #booklr #text #writing #sociocritisism #hermione granger #draco malfoy #high reeve

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Phantom Grin

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: Bruce Wayne visits his son's grave on the night of his resurrection. Will it change Jason's fate, or is it all simply inevitable?

Chapters: 1/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Alfred Pennyworth, Barbara Gordon, Tim Drake, Cassandra Cain

Relationship(s): Jason Todd/Original Character

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain, Jason Todd is Disabled, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Resurrected Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne Get Along

Chapter One: Moonlight Promise

It'd been nearly ten months since the night Jason dug himself out of his own grave. Bruce sat by Jason's bedside, reading to him. Most days, Bruce read to him. When some of Jason's broken bones healed up, Bruce would hold his hand. He tried not to think too hard about the night it happened. The thought of Jason's broken body reaching out to him from the grave made his stomach turn. "I'll come to thee by moonlight, though hell should bar the way," Bruce read in a soft voice. Bruce listened carefully to the rhythm of the machines, making sure Jason's vitals were in order. Jason's heart rate often slowed depending on what Bruce read to him. He could tell that Jason loved poetry, or at least he thought Jason did.

Bruce squeezed Jason's hand gently. "Jason, I have to go earlier today," Bruce whispered, "But we'll finish The Highwayman when I come back. And I'll tell you about Clark's visit... Maybe when I come back, you can—." Bruce's phone rang, and he sighed. "Jason, I promise I'll make things up to you." He stood up and rested a gentle hand on Jason's forehead.

His phone continued to ring, and Jason opened his eyes. Bruce froze. "Jason?" he asked. Jason kept his eyes open for a few breaths before closing them once more. Bruce sat back down and brushed a knuckle against Jason's cheek. "Attaboy," Bruce whispered gently.

Bruce's phone rang again. "I'm not going anywhere... I'm just gonna answer this," Bruce whispered.

He answered the phone, and Dick immediately started apologizing. "I know you asked me not to call—."

"He opened his eyes... Just for a second," Bruce interrupted.

Dick didn't reply immediately. Instead, he made a soft noise. "Do you-. Did it seem like—?" Dick couldn't find the words.

Bruce sat with the phone between his ear and his shoulder. He squeezed Jason's hand. "He's never done it before. He opened his eyes and—. It was like he was trying to wake up," Bruce whispered, "Do you want to speak to him?"

Dick took a deep breath. "Put me on speaker," Dick whispered.

"Jason, I'm putting Dick on speaker," Bruce whispered. He let go of Jason's hand and set the phone on Jason's bedside.

"Good morning, Jason," Dick whispered, "I'm gonna come and see you pretty soon. I might get you something new to listen to. I know your birthday's coming up in August." Jason lay there, his eyes closed, and Bruce moved Jason's bangs out of his face. He didn't want to cut Jason's hair, not yet. In the months since Jason's resurrection, his height and hair were the only things that changed. It was the only way he could cope with the thought of Jason's condition.

Bruce stayed for an hour more and left in time for sundown. He'd be back later that night, but not as Bruce Wayne. Bruce always came at night in the middle of his patrol to make sure Jason didn't suddenly awaken in the night. He even hid motion sensors around Jason's hospital bed so that he'd know the comings and goings of the nurses. Leaving Jason was always hard. In the days following the incident where Jason first opened his eyes, Bruce started to see more and more movement in Jason. Sometimes Jason would open his eyes, other times, Jason would involuntarily grin when Bruce would touch his face. By the end of the year, Jason started responding to simple commands.

One afternoon, Bruce sat in the manor, eating dinner and talking to Dick. "He's gonna wake up any day now," Bruce whispered.

"And what are you gonna do about Tim?" Dick asked.

"Tim can have whatever he wants. He can be whatever he wants... Once Jason's able to come home," Bruce paused for a moment, "Jason'll need my full attention." He picked over his dinner.

Dick looked at him and furrowed his brows. "Gotham needs Batman—."

"And Jason needs me," Bruce raised his voice, "Had I been Bruce more often with Jason, maybe he wouldn't have died in the first place. I need to be there for him. I need to take care of—."

"And I'm not saying you're wrong, but from what I'm hearing in your voice, it sounds like you're calling it quits," Dick interrupted.

"Not permanently. I'm just prioritizing Jason for once," Bruce whispered, "Don't you think he deserves to be put first for once?"

Dick froze. He knew Bruce loved Jason, but he never thought that Bruce would ever set aside his priorities for anything or anyone. "I'm not judging you. I know you love Jason. I love Jason too... I just-. You don't have to do this alone. We're a family, and we're all willing to help in whatever way we can," Dick reassured him, "Maybe it's time you stop thinking you can do all this alone. Don't you think?"

"I can't let him down this time. I can't," Bruce whispered as he took a sip of water. "I should go check on him again soon."

"How many hours would you say you spend at the hospital?" Dick asked.

"Well, since he's gone from comatose to being in a vegetative state... Three hours in the daytime, on and off for two hours at night," Bruce replied. Dick tapped his fingertips on the table. "Yes, I'm thinking about going right now. You should think about coming with me."

Dick nodded. "I'll come along tomorrow before I leave," Dick replied, "No use in asking if you're staying for dessert, huh?" Bruce got up and took his plate to the kitchen.

Bruce's phone beeped, and he checked his phone. "I gotta go to the hospital—."

"What's wrong?" Dick asked.

"He's awake," Bruce replied as he rushed past Dick to the car. Dick followed closely behind.

"Is he okay?" Dick asked. Bruce handed Dick his phone, and when Dick saw what was going on, he pushed his hair back in distress. "Okay, I'm sorry for saying you were crazy for installing the motion sensor cameras."

#fic #batfam #phantom grin fic #Jason Todd #Bruce Wayne #Dick Grayson #Alfred Pennyworth #Barbara Gordon #Tim Drake #Cassandra Cain #Jason Todd/Original Character #Canon Divergent AU #Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain #Jason Todd is Disabled #Barbara Gordon is Oracle #Resurrected Jason Todd #Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating #Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne Get Along

[acourtofthought]

For the Elucien Fans

Who really want an Elucien book

Every time anything is released, this fandom goes wild.

SJM wears a Bambi sweater? Elain's book is next!

Az gets a Bonus in SF and CC? Az's book is next! (Even though both the SF bonus chapters revolved around Elain, even though Tharion had a bonus but people still theorize Ruhn and Lidia's romance will be the main romance in CC4, even though Lucien had his own POV in the actual ACOTAR series yet people still think Az will have a book before him).

SJM places the copy of HOSAB on top of a book about flowers? Elain's book is next!

A HOFAS teaser is revealed and it has both Nesta and Az? Az's book is next because she's drawing our attention to him!

But CC is not the ACOTAR series and SJM at one point drew our attention to the Elucien setup in ACOWAR, made a big part of the first third of the book about Lucien trying to get to Elain and the second third about him helping her through her depression yet some still think Az will get his book before them.

In an IG Live, SJM said when you get to the end of Silver Flames, you'll know whose book is next. Not when you get to the Az Bonus Chapter, not when you read CC3. When you get to the last book in the ACOTAR series.

Yes, she she said she's excited to write Az's journey but a side characters journey starts well before they have a book in her world (i.e., Chaol's journey started in book 1 of the TOG series, Cassian's journey with Nesta began from the moment they met in ACOMAF, Lucien's journey has been ongoing since ACOTAR. etc).

Crescent City isn't the ACOTAR series. They don't market it as such, there's no reading guide that tells you the order you need to read ACOTAR and CC books in for them to make sense.

Yes, she did say CC will set up future ACOTAR books but, we have no idea which "future" books she's referring to as she's often talked about not knowing if she'll be able to stop after the remaining spin-offs she's contracted for. I could be wrong but I'm almost positive she didn't say it will set up for the very next ACOTAR book after SF. She once said her initial plan for the spin-offs hadn't changed so she could be telling us that her plan for Elain and Nesta's story remained the same and CC3 now opens doors for what happens after she closes out the main story of the Archeron sisters. She could be telling us that once the threats on their world are resolved, then there will be a new threat introduced (that new threat dealing with those outside their world). And Az being a focus of CC3 could simply mean that when it is time for his story, that's the direction it will be headed but it doesn't mean she's ready to tell his story before she closes out Elucien's story and the issues with Koschei, Beron, Spring, etc. At the end of the day, CC3 is still Bryce's book and I don't imagine it will heavily set up for Az's even if hints are dropped. Just like hints have been dropped for both Elain and Lucien's journeys way back when.

We kind of knew that with Bryce arriving in Prythian and the Asteri (in CC2) saying they've trying to find their way back to the planet their brothers and sisters were living on in order to get revenge it already set up future ACOTAR books. And that was directly addressed in SJMs Live HOSAB spoiler interview. She said that yes, now the ACOTAR characters will be concerned that if Bryce can find her way into their world that means others might be able to as well.

But that doesn't mean SJM is going to end CC3 and start ACOTAR 5 after Bryce's arrival and departure from Prythian. That wouldn't make any sense, not when you consider how SF left off.

I hate this fact about myself but I am probably a good bit older than most in this fandom. Sometimes I feel a bit embarrassed as I realize it seems an odd hobby to have when I'm probably not in SJMs target age range but what that does mean is I know a few people who have never read the Crescent City series and don't plan to. I know those closer to my age who don't follow SJMs Instagram or follow posts on TikTok or join groups in FB. The majority of the fandom is younger and many do engage in online groups, her IG, etc but there are some outside that target age group (and maybe even some within it) who read ACOTAR and that's that. My oldest child's friends father is an ER doctor and he's read the ACOTAR series but hasn't dug any futher into the Maas Universe as he waits for the next one to be released.

He knows nothing of Bryce. He knows nothing of the Az bonus from SF or the Az / Nesta bonus that's going to be released with CC3 or Az's part in CC3. All he knows is that Nesta's story ended and the remaining plot related questions we were left with were "what about the peace treaty?" "What about Beron allying with Koschei?" "What about Spring and Tamlin?" Even the Illyrians weren't much of a focus at the end of SF because Gwyn and Emerie were laughing about it saying they'll be angry for decades and Cassian said they wouldn't be ready for battle training for many years. He has no idea that Az and Gwyn had the hints of a mating bond introduced in the bonus, has no idea that Elain and Az almost kissed (he thinks she's ending up with Lucien though). Literally, the end of SF has Eris saying the things they need to be worrying about are Beron, Koschei and the treaty.

So imagine if he picked up the next ACOTAR book and it was talking about a traveler from another world having landed in Prythian with the focus being on Az and TT and whatever was discovered in CC3. He would be completely confused.

Also, there was a sense of urgency surrounding Koschei, Spring, Beron, and Vassa in SF. CC3 picks up 6-9 months after that. If an Az book were to take place 10 months to over a year after SF then does it seem realistic that they've just stopped worrying about Koschei? That they no longer are worried about Vassa being taken back or the fact that they said they needed Springs forces to be ready yet have done nothing about it? That the bad guys have just been casually waiting around in the background putting their evil plans on hold so SJM can first address time travel and the Illyrian plots?

To me, it still makes more sense that that SJM would begin the next ACOTAR book shortly after SF, resolving the major issues that were left open ended, then segue into the events of CC3 which would lead us into ACOTAR 6 and anything related to time travel and others worlds.

It makes less sense that she would have introduced the Vassa and the destruction of Spring storylines in ACOWAR, the Elucien bond in ACOMAF, remind us of how they are still issues in ACOFAS and ACOSF ("tell my Vassa I'm waiitng", "You've been trying to bring Tamlin back for awhile but he's barely improved", "We need a strong ally, we need the Spring Courts forces") then delay them yet again in order to first move on to a plot that, while very subtly hinted at in SF, is really being introduced in an entirely different series.

At some point, doesn't it start to feel just slightly ridiculous to keep pushing Tamlins arc and Spring to the side? Vassa's arc to the side? The Elucien bond to the side? Lucien's father reveal to the side?

I could definitely be wrong, I own that. However, I do think there's some logic in what I'm saying and that could mean that Az playing a major part in CC3 still doesn't guarantee him the next ACOTAR book the way some are claiming. All it guarantees is that at some point, the information introduced for his storyline will eventually be addressed. If SJM introduced Lucien and Elain's storylines way back in book 2 yet still haven't resolved them 2.5 books later then there's nothing preventing her from the doing the same with Az, introducing his storylines but not resolving them until a book or two later.

#elucien #elucien book #pro elain archeron #pro lucien vanserra #elucien supremacy

[stxrvel]

one of those days

summary: Bucky tries to comfort you after a hard day, but something goes wrong.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +2k

warnings: mentions of death, descriptions of blood and panic attacks, no happy ending.

note: hello guys!!! im really happy i got to finished this today bc it's been in my drafts for days and i didn't know how to approach it, but i think i did it how i wanted. please let me know what you think!! i love reading all of your comments <3. thank u for reading and i hope you all enjoy it!!

You couldn't remember the last time you'd left your room. Maybe it had been days or maybe months, time no longer reigned in your world as logically as before. The gray clouds had not disappeared, they still hung in the sky as if time had stopped on that fateful day, as if you were repeating it and every day you were waiting for someone to come from behind to tell you that something terrible had happened.

As you no longer differentiated one day from the other, it was very difficult to continue trying to lead a normal life. The people around you were moving as usual, happy and sharing together, but you couldn't remember the last time you had felt joy in your life. The pain had become a constant and there were some days when you couldn't even remember why.

That was one of those days, lying on a beach chair on the rooftop of the building where you lived. Sometimes you couldn't remember why you didn't sleep at the Complex anymore. That was one of those days.

“Y/N?”

You didn't move from the chair, but for the first time in days you allowed yourself to crack a smile.

“Bucky.”

“What are you doing here? It looks like it's going to rain.”

“It's quieter up here.”

Bucky moved to sit on the chair next to you, his body facing yours, but you didn't dare look at him, like every time he came. You were afraid to see him, afraid that he might see how you really felt if he looked into your eyes, that he might see what you really thought when he wasn't around.

“How was the mission?”

“As usual,” he replied a few seconds later, weighing whether or not to humor you. “Smooth and quick. Steve sends his regards.”

“He should come over instead of doing that,” you suggested with a forced half-smile, your cheeks falling into place too quickly because they weren't used to do that anymore.

“He should, but you know he has to do all the mission reports. It's so boring.”

Your lips curled up, with a lot of memories of the grimaces on Bucky's face when he had to take care of those reports.

“Must have been the best day of your life when Fury took that task off your hands.”

“No,” Bucky reneged almost instantly and his body shifted to be a little closer, so much so that you could see him through your peripheral vision, but you still didn't want to see him, “the best day of my life was when I met you.”

“Bucky…” you grumbled, half embarrassed. Looking up at the sky, you could still feel your neck and cheeks heat up from shame.

“What, how long have we been together already and you still feel embarrassed when I say those things?”

You could barely let out a laugh, the weight on your heart becoming a little lighter.

“You can tell I don't do it that often. I've got to change that.”

“Don't start, Bucky.”

The man next to you let out a laugh, his figure briefly disappearing from your field of vision and you quickly felt your heart rise up into your throat until he spoke again.

“How are you, honey?”

You let the air out of your lungs in a heavy exhale. You could have felt a little calmer knowing he was still there, but you knew the direction the conversation was going to take and it kept your shoulders tense. As much as you wanted to relax around him, whenever he touched on that subject you didn't end up very well. Some days you couldn't remember why.

“I'm fine, Buck.”

“You sure?”

“Very sure.”

“And why have you been eating so badly?”

You frowned. “I haven't been-”

“You eat twice a day and most of the time you just order take-out.”

Your hands clenched the armrests of the chair. Sooner than ever, like every time, you felt the air suffocate you. With your chest compressed, you felt breathing in was getting harder and harder. You didn't want to bring up that subject again, not because of how it had ended last time. You wanted to keep talking about trivial things, you wanted him to keep making jokes, to keep making you blush. You wanted him to…

“I'm fine, Bucky. And if you can't believe that, at least believe that I'll try to be.”

“I trust you, doll. It's just that lately you haven't been taking care of yourself like you promised me.”

“I've been trying…” with forced breathing you felt like you could barely speak, and with that lump in your throat things weren't any easier. You hated getting to that point because you succumbed so fast. “I swear. Just… just… can you go back to talking about other things?”

You heard him sigh and with your hand on your heart you almost prayed that he would drop the subject for peace, for your own peace.

“You know Natasha's been calling you these days, right?”

You dropped your shoulders, mildly relieved that he decided to heed you.

“Yeah, it's just… I don't want to talk to her. I don't really want to talk to anyone.”

“Why?”

You frowned at the sky, the gray clouds taking on a darker color from the mountains. You felt like your head had broken into gaps, into fragments you couldn't put together no matter how hard you tried.

“I don't know. I don't think I remember.”

“So is it worth it for you to be mad at them and not talk to them for something you don't remember?”

“It must be something really bad, Bucky. I feel a tightness in my chest when I think about them.”

“Mmm, okay. 'S okay, doll.”

You felt the coldness of your blood evaporate and give way to warmth as his hand passed over your arm. To feel his touch, skin against skin, so real, so simple yet so maddening. You felt like you hadn't seen or touched him in months, when the mission was only a few days old. His fingers moved in lines over your skin, so soft and so loving that you sensed the urge to cry burning behind your eyes.

“How are you?”

For some reason, asking him that question almost made you burst into tears.

“When are you going to move in with me? You know I'm tired of asking you.”

Bucky was silent for a few seconds, the brush over your arm becoming a little slower and sloppier.

“Soon, honey.”

“You always say that.”

“It's an answer after all, isn't it?”

“But it's not enough. I want you to come. I want to sleep with you. I want to spend my days with you because I don't know… I don't know what I would do without you.”

Your voice broke as you finished speaking and the tears you were trying to hold back were about to overflow from your eyes. The dark sky, threatening terrible weather, was now just a bunch of blobs. A storm looked insignificant compared to the possibility of not being able to have a future together with the man you loved, together with the love of your life.

His hand tightened around your forearm and you heard him sigh.

“I'll come soon, Y/N, I promise. And we'll live together, and we'll do all those things you've always told me about.”

“You remember them?”

“Of course!” he sounded almost offended by the question. “We have to do a picnic on this rooftop. We also have to bake a pizza at midnight. We have to adopt two puppies. And a cat…”

“You have to propose to me on this rooftop after a big romantic dinner,” you interrupted him, with a goofy lovelorn grin despite the wetness that surrounded your cheeks.

“I already did that, doll.”

“Oh, you did?”

“Don't you remember?”

Bucky's hand moved over your arm forward, his fingers brushing your skin almost superficially sending shivers throughout your body. He stopped when he had his hand between yours, which he lifted to show you a silver band that shimmered despite the cloudy weather.

“You haven't even taken off your ring.”

“And why would I take it off?” you frowned, looking intently at the ring that adorned your finger. Surprisingly you began to remember, or perhaps imagine, a grand wedding and the way that same hand that held yours had placed that ring on you as an eternal promise in front of all your friends and family.

You remembered your smile and the euphoric feeling you felt after kissing him, when he lifted you up in the air with a smile he was trying to hold back just so he could keep kissing you.

It had been a long time since you kissed him. You had almost forgotten what his lips felt like.

“So, we're married.”

“Yes, doll, and we were very happy.”

“We were?”

“You made me happy every day of my life, honey, I don't want you to ever forget that.”

“Bucky…?”

“And I don't want you to feel guilty anymore, Y/N. What happened wasn't your fault.”

“Bucky, why are you talking like that? What do you mean-?”

You moved, mistakenly, to where your husband stood and panic swirled in your chest.

You screamed when you saw him.

You turned your head as fast as you could, but it was done. The damage was done. And the memories started coming to you so fast that you couldn't stop screaming, coupled with the whimpering that invaded your body because the pain was too strong. Seeing him like this, remembering what had happened was too much.

“No! No!” you screamed when you felt his hands around you again.

His face was bloodied, just as you had last seen him. That was your last memory of him, when he was on that gurney in an empty room in the Complex, with nothing around him but some medical machines they were taking apart with which they tried to save his life. There you had seen him for the last time, after he took his last breath, after he took your life with him.

Everything after that is always a blur.

Very few days could you remember what had happened after that. In fact, there were very few days when you remembered that your husband had died. That was one of those days.

And you remembered it all, and having all those feelings inside your body, mixing inside your head at the same time was too overwhelming. You brought your hands to the sides of your head with your eyes closed, tightly shut. You shook yourself to get his hands off your body, because you couldn't stand that, because he wasn't real and it was impossible that you could feel his hands touching you when he was dead, when physically he couldn't be there.

Your crying did not stop even when you were sure there was no one touching you. The sense of infinite loss and sadness continued and persisted, as if it was his goal to leave you permanently broken.

Your hands moved over your ears, it was almost an instinct. Pounding them as if so you could discover the reality, that none of it had really happened, as if so you could stop your mind from continuing to play with your emotions and senses in that way. You became a sea of sobs and howls of pain, you almost felt like someone was opening your chest to pull your heart out.

“What's happening to her?” you heard an anguished female voice.

It was Natasha.

“Come, come here.”

That was Steve.

“Please, leave the room.”

That… you didn't know who it was.

And… room?

No, no. You were on the roof of your building. How had you moved so fast?

Argh. Your head hurt terribly.

In the middle of that crying fit, you half-opened your eyes. The first thing you noticed was a green field. Then a window. Then, rain. Just like that day. That day it was raining like the sky was falling. That day even the thunder couldn't overcome the sound of your wailing. That day, you cursed the sky and whoever was listening.

When you noticed the dark walls and that you weren't really on the rooftop, the world fell into a deafening silence.

All the other memories began to come, but now you felt numb. The memories were painful, but you couldn't identify any emotion connecting them. There was nothing. The images had no sound. They kept repeating in your head, that room with a dead and bloody man, a funeral, a dark room, screams and cries… destruction… coldness... then, a big house made of stone, people in strange clothes and then… this room. For days, for weeks. There was nothing else.

“Miss L/N, are you with me?”

You turned to look at the woman. Suddenly you felt cold surround your bones.

Of everything you had remembered only one thing remained fresh.

“He's dead,” you murmured, your lower lip trembling, more tears falling, to the woman gently holding your shoulders.

“Yes, Y/N. He passed away.”

More tears fell and again your sobs filled the silence of the room.

“But you didn't. You're here.”

“I feel like that's how it was. I feel like he took my soul with him,” your voice trembled, cracked, and you were surprised that anyone could understand what you were saying. “I'm a dead person.”

“No, you're not. You are more than alive right now. You have to fight that loss because you know this is not what he would want for you. This is not the life he would want for you after him.”

“It's just that there is no life after him,” you exclaimed to the woman, your eyes narrowed with tears. You were choking on your own irregular breathing, and though you wanted to, you couldn't regulate it.

“Yes, Y/N, yes there is, and you promised us to find it when you came here. You promised him.”

The woman touched the ring that was still on your ring finger, and you remembered all the times you stayed up all night staring at it unable to sleep.

You remembered then that… that creation in your head, that felt so real.

“I trust you, doll. It's just that lately you haven't been taking care of yourself like you promised me.”

You promised him. Yes, you remembered. The day you came to that mansion. The day when that man took you in and promised to help you find a new meaning in life.

How long must it have been since then? How long have you been stuck in your head? How long have you let yourself be dominated by your dreams?

“Yes I did…”

“Yes, you did.”

You looked at the woman again, her eyes determined and full of passion. Of confidence.

You began to feel the warmth surround your bones and only then did you realize that the room was frozen. There were tiny snowflakes on that woman's reddish hair.

“Now do you feel ready to begin?”

You hesitated, because remembering it gave you as much physical pain as if you were burying a knife straight through your heart. Maybe that would hurt less.

But there where you stood, you had only two choices. And if you were honest, you could only think of the option that would make Bucky smile proudly at you.

Maybe he would.

Maybe he did when you held that woman's hand.

You didn't know, but the only thing you could hope for was that in none of the days ahead of you, would you ever go through the suffering of one of those days again.

---

a/n. thank u for reading!! i love you all, for your support, thank u so much <3.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes angst #bucky fic #bucky x you #bucky barnes #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky angst #bucky and reader #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes x you

[jeannereames]

How do you anticipate Alexandros’s and Hephaistion’s respective ways of dealing with each other in their “moments” to change over the course of your series? I think you pretty clearly established in your books that Hephaistion has to learn to carefully navigate Alexandros’s outbursts and spontaneous tendencies.

On the flip side, I wonder how Alexandros learns how to deal when Hep is angry or upset. Do you think it being more so along the lines of him expecting Hep to suck it up and deal, basically? Or would he take a different route? I just find the way you portrayed their dynamic in the series very intriguing and nuanced, and I'm curious to see how it might evolve as the characters age.

What an interesting question! And I’m delighted that you thought their interaction properly nuanced. One of my own personal criteria for judging a book is the presence of layered and complex characters, so I struggle to put them on the page in my own work. (Also, sorry for the delay.)

Among the key elements of the first two books is how much the characters change. It covers seven critical years as they turn from boys into young men. Hence the whole “coming-of-age” thing. Ha.

Because they’re teenagers, they’re inclined to drama, especially in the first book where little things can set them off—but it happens early in book II as well. Hephaistion flails and causes a scene just because Alexandros is busy so often and he, Hephaistion, is insecure. His behavior is silly (and Alexandros calls him on it), but the emotions that drive it are very real. That’s always the struggle, when writing teens. They just haven’t lived long enough for much perspective, so everything’s a crisis. Emotions are BIG, driven by wildly pumping hormones and all those extra neurons in the front of the cerebrum. Yet the author must take seriously whatever tempest in a teapot has them riled up, in order to portray it fairly (for them), even while keeping a bit of distance to signal to the reader that yes, it really is overblown.

By the duology’s end, Alexandros has just turned 20 and Hephaistion 22½; they’ve been friends seven years, and lovers for five. By now, they have history. Yet both are emotional people, even if they display it differently. Hephaistion might seem phlegmatic but is far from it. Erigyios is phlegmatic. Hephaistion is a churning volcano under a calm surface. Alexandros, by contrast, wears his heart on his sleeve. So, they’ll continue to kick up dusk occasionally with each other, but increasingly for real reasons, not manufactured ones driven by insecurity.

Take their fracture over the fact Alexandros didn’t tell Hephaistion about Amyntor’s illness. They learn, thereby, that some things can be forgiven only by a choice. Hephaistion’s flouncing over Alexandros “ignoring” him at the beginning of book 2 should be seen in stark contrast to the very real rage he feels when he learns Alexandros concealed his father’s cancer. Yes, Alexandros did so because Amyntor asked, and yes, Alexandros convinced himself it was out of fear for Hephaistion’s safety. But he does finally recognize, and admit to himself, that wasn’t the real reason. He did a truly selfish thing by keeping Hephaistion with him. Hephaistion’s reaction in each instance is meant to bookend the novel. In the first case, he storms back home. In the second, despite his fury, he doesn’t leave Alexandros. And Alexandros accepts Philip’s pardon not just because he knows he’d better, but also because Hephaistion needs to go back. It’s a maturing moment for Alexandros to fully recognize how much he hurt his friend. He can’t fix it. He can only beg for forgiveness. Hephaistion won’t get back those final months with Amyntor. He can only choose to forgive.

So, the sequence is (to my mind) incredibly important to how they’re learning to be Real with each other. And it lays out how they’ll continue to interact going forward.

Alexandros will still screw up sometimes, in part because he’s king and was raised to assume people will subject themselves to him, as well as because his successes convince him the gods are on his side. But it was always Hephaistion’s refusal to kowtow that made him attractive to Alexandros. Ergo, he must make room for that in their relationship. It’s what makes Hephaistion unique.

In book one, after their physical fight over a different dust-up, Alexandros thinks to himself that the fact Hephaistion was willing to hit a prince had earned him the right to hold one. Alexandros must allow for Hephaistion’s autonomy, which means he must apologize (honestly) now and then. It’s what keeps him human, and grounded. And why Hephaistion continues to enjoy such absolute trust. He expects Alexandros to acknowledge when he screws up, and so Alexandros can trust that Hephaistion will always tell him the truth. Because Hephaistion loves him that much.

#asks #Alexander the Great #Hephaistion #Hephaestion #Dancing with the Lion #DwtL #alexander x hephaestion #Alexander x hephaistion #writing complex characters #historical fiction #ancient Greek historical fiction #Classics

[secret-subject]

How much of your time in file creation is split between writing, recording and editing? When do you know when you've slipped into over-producing territory?

Wow great question!

So this depends on the project. My current process is I write a script, then I order the art and get the assets ready for production, record and edit and post.

Sometimes, a script will take a day or two to come together. Sometimes it takes weeks where I write a little bit of a script per day. I like to have three or four things on the go at once because my brain do be like that but once a script is "ready" I will often do a read aloud to get the mouth feel and flow down before I record. This also warms my brain up to how I'm going to deliver it on the mic and it helps me to hear if a thing sounds clumsy or if it works.

I like to batch my recording sessions because setting up my vocal booth from singing to hypnosis or asmr is a challenge so I may as well use that set up for multiple recordings. I will then spend a few hours recording all the scripts that are done that day. If I mess up a take I clap or snap to save my place and ensure I can make some clean cuts later. Pro tip, give yourself space either side of the mistake and start on a line you know had a bit of a break on it otherwise your cuts will be more obvious plus this will save MASSES of time later.

Editing is very quick for me. I use audacity, clean up background noise and use a very quick eq and compression preset. Cut the mistakes etc. If this audio has background sounds this can take me a few hours but most generic single layer hypnosis tracks only take 20 minutes to edit fully. I post immediately on patreon after the edit is done when I can because it's fresh in my head and I can make the CW writing easier (love having a bad memory for things haha).

So to answer the first question, it depends on the project. Sometimes the scripting is hard and fast and recorded in a single day. Sometimes its weeks of thinking, chopping and changing and then recording. I've spent six months on my longest projects because of procrastination but I've also made a lot of audios in hours because the inspiration strikes so there is no rule with how long it takes.

The second quesion. Over production is both easy and hard to do. A lot of the time I notice it in the sound of the recording. Over processing vocals can kill the vibe so I like to take a less is more approach. I'd rather have some road noise and a more raw and real vocal than an overdone one and as a friend of mine recently told me, perfection can be a creative killer.

In terms of overproduction in terms of scripting and timeline, do what feels right for you. There are many times I feel a script could use more pages, and sometimes I add them because it works but if you are struggling to word things or it feels like a chore, that's your instinct telling you it's done or you need to move on and try again later. Again, I'd rather have something shorter and more raw than something that feels like a slog to write and record. Like play with a partner it should feel natural and unrehearsed even Iof you've proofed it again and again.

I will say when you are starting out you will overthink the recordings. You will probably second guess it and judge it harshly and thats okay, but just post it. Sometimes all it takes is one person telling you thats their fave audio to help you gain confidence and make it all worthwhile.

But these are just how I do things and how I feel about creating audio hypnosis recordings. I encourage you and other creators to find what works for you. Maybe scripting isn't your thing, make its meticulously worked and edited, either way its your own.

I can't wait to see what you decide to make!

#hypnosis #content creator #hypnosis creator

[foxes-that-run]

Fine line

Fine Line is layered, both vulnerable and brave, closing an album about the highest highs and lowest lows.

To NPR Harry said "Fine Line" was written in tour gap in January 2018 in LA. This was a few weeks after the End Game video was released and while Harry was still dating Camille.

Harry was very emotional performing MMIH and Sweet Creature in the weeks after, till July when he seemed happier. TS got to the US the day before that last link.

To Zane Lowe Harry said Golden and Fine Line were the first songs written for the album. (22:30) he knew they were the first and last.

Harry has said it is his favourite on the album (32 mins), yet it is played live sporadically, it was dropped in 2022 when Harry's House came out, but reappeared for May - July 2023 shows. The live performances vary, some are somber, the one above in NY he smiles on crisp temptation and not all have the last line, ending with 'Thank you (city)' instead.

Mitch told LA magazine he learnt from Harry "The songs are all snapshots [of my life] but nothing's in order." It and Golden being written before Cherry and Falling helps inform the inspiration.

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Put a price on emotion I'm looking for something to buy You've got my devotion But man, I can hate you sometimes I don't want to fight you And I don't want to sleep in the dirt We'll get the drinks in So I'll get to thinking of her

The first verse tells of feeling emotionally numb and desperate to feel. He loves the muse but it is fraught, such as a significant ex. In other songs like Grapejuice and Kiwi Harry describes this tension with 'pay for it' in both a pleasurable and emotionally costly way. Pay for it is possibly a reference to the Liner notes for All you had to Do as stay “they paid the price” AYTDWS is a pivotal song for Harry, he has a tattoo that references it and has used it in many lyrics including As it was.

'I don't want to fight you, but don't want to sleep in the dirt', is sung so gently it's palpable, you can hear the past hurt. To me, the last line is referring to his then girlfriend in Cherry and Falling.

[Chorus] We'll be a fine line (x6)

The fine line is between acceptable and not, being in love and risking being hurt and friendship and infidelity.

[Verse 2] Test of my patience There's things that we'll never know You sunshine, you temptress My hand's at risk, I fold Crisp trepidation I'll try to shake this soon Spreading you open Is the only way of knowing you

The second verse builds with tension. Harry is tempted by his muse, wanting her. Harry often describes his muse in terms of being ethereal, in the sky or here as Sunshine (Golden, Sunflower Vol 6, Olivia - Sunshine and Butterflies).

He gives into temptation, with the wonderful lyric of crisp trepidation of the point of touching someone he wants. When he sings he will ‘shake this soon (shake it off) is a similar lyric to Meet me in the Hallways “I gotta get better”

Spreading you open is the only way of knowing you is a lyric that shows both sexual and emotional hunger for the muse. They are not good at being just friends. Many of Harry's lyrics expand on wanting deeper connection.(tongue tied in Two Ghosts and Sunflower Vol 6) or not speaking enough. (Sign of the Times). Referring to Taylor Swift, Harry has said he can put into song what he can't in words.

[Chorus] We'll be a fine line (x11) We'll be alright We'll be alright We'll be a fine line We'll be a fine line We'll be alright (Alright, alright, alright)

In the final chorus the music and his voice builds with we'll be a fine line, deciding to continue navigating the friendship. Finally the music reaches a great crescendo and the lyric changes to we'll be alright.

DBTC also ends with Taylor asking if it will be alright and the response is I don’t know.

Fine Line's "We'll be alright" is similar to and WITW "And I know we'll be alright, child" and Sign of the Times "Just stop your crying / It'll be alright"

#fine line harry styles #haylor #harry styles #fine line album #fine line

[solomons-poison]

can i request prompt 16, but with barbtos (idk how to spell his name 😭) like mc comforting him because he is very stressed or smth, some angst to fluff yk?

Breakdowns

A/N: Absolutely!! Even though Barbatos is a very talented demon that always seems very calm and on top of things, the Devildom seems to be a pretty chaotic place at times. I'm sure he's had his moments where he just needed to stop and breathe. He definitely needs someone there for him during those times 🫂

Featuring: GN reader || Barbatos x reader

Warnings: some sensory overload, angst to fluff, Barbatos needs a vacation :(

══════════════════

Barbatos is someone infamous for his ability to keep cool and collected during the most stressful situations, often with a calm smile on his face. After all, he was the Prince of the Devildom's right hand man, his closest confidante. It simply wouldn't do to let himself lose composure over something. Not to mention, he had the skills to handle almost any situation, no matter how bad it seemed to get.

But sometimes all it takes is the perfect (read: hellish) cocktail of events to overwhelm even him. His senses will shut down and his hold on his human form becomes tenuous at best, ready to snap at a moment's notice.

Before you came along, Barbatos would make an excuse to busy himself somewhere dark and quiet, somewhere he could let the mask on his face fall. He'd get involved in something hands-on in order to busy not only his mind, but his hands too, like rigorous polishing, regulating all the clocks in the castle, maybe stress-baking. He just needed a moment to himself without the stimuli of people arguing about stupid things, being at the beck and call of undeserving people, or having to fix others' mistakes.

Once you were in his life, however, this ritual slowly but surely changed. It took a while into the relationship for you to even find out about this, Barbatos did his best to hide flaws from others but especially you. Not that he was exactly ashamed of it, but he had spent literal centuries cultivating an air of indifference, practicing at maintaining his composure when things went south. It was second nature not to show weakness, and he admittedly didn't want to show what he believed to be his weakness to his beloved, either.

But you always manage to read him so well, you can tell when his smile is strained or when his stress is weighing heavily on his shoulders, when his expression is a little tighter than usual.

Although Barbatos was a little hesitant at first, he'll come to accept your attempts to comfort him and help him through his stress.

Sometimes it means just giving him some quiet time, letting him rest his head on your shoulder without saying a word. He may even let go of his human form, curling his forked tail around you as you cuddle.

Other times, if he's feeling restless, you'll busy him with cooking or baking together, something fun and not too challenging. Gardening together is another activity he'll enjoy with you when he's stressed, discussing light topics while his hands are busy digging and weeding.

He's also partial to acts of service, but specifically doing things for you, not the other way around. Although you insist with him that it should be the opposite, he finds some kind of peace in doing things for the one he loves most, making you smile for him. He'll always say that your smile is the best balm for his tired mind.

Overall, the best remedy for him when he's stressed is just good, old-fashioned quality time together. He can't avoid the stresses of his work, it's something he is committed to and feels responsibility for, he's accepted that. So instead, he looks forward to seeing your bright smile and being in your warm embrace at the end of long, difficult days.

#barbatos x reader #obey me barbatos #obey me shall we date #obey me hcs #the minx can write ✍️

[yngai]

How benevolent or malicious do you believe Ada is or should be portrayed?

with ada it's not a matter of quantifying her benevolence or malice, she doesn't think in good or evil, right & wrong, every action taken is weighed between assumed risk & desired outcome, ada rarely acts on impulse & when she's forced into a split-second decision it's always by outside factors throwing wrenches into her schemes (wesker giving the kill order on leon to krauser after she consistently delays carrying it out herself & argues for leon's irrelevance to her mission, not out of love, but because her true purpose in spain requires leon's survival & success up until the epilogue of the play she has set up) . she doesn't place herself on any kind of scale of morality like other resident evil characters do because to her that is a fallacy, all there is preservation, of the self & of the system which perpetuates the very threat other protagonists have dedicated their life to fighting against .

it's a delicious irony that satiates her nihilistic worldview .

ada doesn't believe the world is able to change (which stems from her own political background & apprehension towards hong kong's transfer of sovereignty to the chinese mainland), there is too much power & influence invested in keeping things as they are for her or anyone else, be they an individual or not, to make a dent . all anyone can ever do is delay the inevitable & the fact 'the good guys' are reactive, rather than proactive, is further proof to her . they spring into action always during the beginning or middle of an outbreak & rarely if ever manage to prevent these incidents from occurring (even ada denying wesker a live dominant plaga sample & los illumindos' facilities & research only forces him to settle for a dead one recovered from krauser's corpse, & with tricell's resources he has a new plaga out on the market in under five years . it's the closest thing to a victory over wesker she gets) . the BSAA, the DSO, terrasave, they're first-responders who are so very corruptible by the governmental & international authorities they serve, & they would all meld together in her mind if not for her work requiring accounting for each as potential threats or partners depending on her assignment . she has moles & contacts in all three, weak links she has scouted out to pay off or blackmail for their operational information & the fact they so easily betray their employers tells her that overall belief in the success of their mission wanes at a steady rate .

while she will often take on risk to perform what is a morally commendable action (saving claire, leon, sherry & several civilians in lanshiang, putting herself in the crosshairs of people like wesker or simmons either through outright betrayal or simply denying them access to the services she provides), it's usually from a position where any adverse effects to her person are either minimal or can be minimized (dropping someone a rocket launcher is the easiest thing in the world, brad vickers could do it, same with providing sniper support or covering fire from the comfort of a helicopter . betraying wesker was part of a larger operation carried out by their mutual employer) . she is often framed high above the people to whom she offers aid for this reason, sometimes as a cover for the identity of their mysterious benefactor, sometimes as a coincidence & it's become very amusing to her how much of an operational hazard its become for her to help people ( '[sigh] time to save the day again' / 'i'm beginning to feel like your personal bodyguard, mr. kennedy' ) . there might be a selfless streak hidden somewhere within but she frames it as another notch on her belt, lives saved to feed her ego .

this all to speak of my portrayal & my interpretation of ada has she has been presented throughout ressie's admittedly spotty canon, while i do wish for her character to be written more consistently (& i do think the remakes succeed in keeping her so despite the massive shift in her presentation between 2 & 4, even if they're missing the context for her changing from RE4's supplemental material), obviously other people are free to reach different conclusions based on the same information, i'm not the real ada wong, or anything .

#* file // : OOC — ( 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐄 . ) #* file // : 005 — ( 𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐀 . ) #* file // : 004 — ( 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 . ) #thank you for this ask it was a very fun thought exercise! #hopefully i've answered your question #ada is a deeply pessimistic woman with the life experience and arguments to sustain her worldview

[choclateteez]

🥊💥4*town During Conflicts/fights with others and each other💥🥊

Part 1 (except I actually continue this time- T and Z's parts are about half way done🤭)

Robaire

With others

Robaire is slow to anger- being a leader comes with having to work on his patience skills

If you've made him actually lose it, he has tried to make you understand in the nicest ways possible. You've crossed the line

This man is SCARY when angry

He's never afraid of confrontation, try him. Try. him.

Don't try him, actually

He won't care if you're taller, more muscular, more athletic than him, he won't back down. He isn't scared, he really isn't.

The other members kinda get worried about him getting himself into dangerous situations because he has absolutely no fear response in these situations

He doesn't like to resort to yelling, he makes his point across just fine with well chosen words

*trash argument* “oh really??” NONOnoono, dont fucking interrupt me, okay?!”

If things do get physical, he can hold himself well in a fight; he can take a punch or two and throw a lot more

With 4*town

Canonically, he and Aaron Z have a friendly rivalry

However, sometimes it can go a bit too far. Especially when Z has an attitude towards Robaire's orders, or when Robaire doesn't agree with Z’s suggestions or ideas

They'd never physically fight each other, but the tension can get intense

Especially if it's before a big concert

“If the others can do the move, how come you can't? I'm not gonna change the whole choreo because you don't have what it takes.” “I don’t have what it takes? I don't have what it takes???” “I said what I said, Robaire.” “Where did all this come from?” “We are mere days away from performance, and you STILL haven't got the move down" "And whos job was it to teach me?" "Oh??" Z shoots up, stalking closer to Robaire, towering over him. "You telling me I cant do my job?" Robaire isn't intimidated. He doesnt move back, but instead moves closer, chests close. "You just told me I couldnt do mine- i'm telling you cant eat what you dish out" The words fly out of his mouth before he realizes. He sees the moment Z's eyes dilate out of anger and realizes hes pushed it too far. He sighs and backs down, running his hands down his face. "Shit…sorry..listen- we perform soon, we're all stressed and i… shouldnt have done that. '' Z studies him, still trying to calm himself down. "Just…just teach me the move and ill do my best alright?" "...fine…im sorry too or whatever.."

He doesn't conflict with the other members often, only sometimes with Jesse because of the age difference

Robaire and Jesse have an interesting dynamic

As the leader, Robaire often calls the shots, but he knows he doesn't have to enforce it on Jesse too harshly- he wants to respect him

At first, he thought of Jesse giving suggestions as Jesse questioning his authority

It got them off to a rough start, as Robaire would kindly, but bluntly shut him down

Soon though, Robaire had FINALLY started to accept the fact that Jesse knew more than him in some instances

Jesse wasn't trying to belittle him, he was just offering some help through experience that Robaire wasn't ready to admit he didn't have. 

Jesse

With others

Some people tend to think that Jesse has a shorter temper compared to the other members, but he doesnt usually respond in a large scale

But when he does, it’s not as intense as some people may think

ESPECIALLY when it comes to haters

Being the oldest also comes with experience and wisdom, some of that wisdom being that haters are only jealous

At the end of the day, Jesse knows that HE’S the one who is in a world famous boy band, not some heckler who wants their 15 seconds of fame

Jesse has had ample time to work on his confidence skills (telling your uptight parents you want to major in art takes balls of iron), and in situations like these, they really come in handy

Arguing with him is pointless. He knows his worth, and words from some hateful nobody will never get a reaction out of him, much to the haters disdain

HOWEVER…

Say some shit about his fellow members, his fans, OR his family??

Consider yourself dead

“Say it to my face, say it to my fucking face”

Jesse is INCREDIBLY defensive and protective of those close to him, so if you know what's good for you, shut your mouth

He's never afraid to call anyone out, so be prepared to have your face and name all over the news if youve really fucked up

One thing everyone loves about him is that he doesn't get down and dirty- he lets everyone else do the fighting FOR him. 

*someone saying something downright horrendous* “security, his head please.” All he has to do is say the word

Oops! Your credit card info was leaked by 4townie twitter? Oh noooo!! 

With 4*town

The only time he argues with 4*town is when they overstep his boundaries a little

Being the eldest, he'd still prefer a little respect

The old jokes don't really bother him (in fact, he finds them quite endearing). 

What does, is when they're either talking down on him, or when they're not taking his advice seriously

4*town doesn't realize they're doing it sometimes, but it still irks him. 

When he does give advice, it's often well thought through, and he means it earnestly, and with the best intentions. To get them brushed off as “oldest one just wants to control us”, drives him mad, and rightfully so

And when he has to switch to brutal honesty, it makes it worse, and they start to argue with him, gang up against him, even question his intelligence, and it starts a burning feeling in his chest that Jesse has to stop before it gets out of hand

He rarely raises his voice, but when he does, the gang knows they've pushed him over the edge

“Guys, im being serious-” “When are you not?” “Yeah, T’s right you're kind of being-” “You're interrupting me-” “Jesse, cmon-” If y'all would just LIST-” “i dont-” “jesus christ, SHUT UP!! All of you!” Jesse’s breathing heavy, face flushed. Tae Young and T flinch, and Jesse notices, urging himself to reign it in. “Just let. me. talk.”

The room is soundless. Even Robaire becomes subdued and holds his tongue

When 4*town is being scolded by Jesse, they know they probably deserved it this time, and will take his words to heart

Tae Young

With others

This man has a MOUTH

You wanna say something to him, best believe hed say something right back

He has little to no patience with people who try him

It's hard to have beef with Tae Young- He’s sweet, and he tries his best to be helpful, and there for anyone that needs him

So to be mad at him for small/insignificant things is not the move

From sarcasm, public humiliation, cameras, anything, Tae Young will use his environment as his weapon

He also LOOVESS to tease people who tick him off, or get mad at him for dumb reasons

“Why do you wear so much makeup? You're so feminine, are you even a man?” “Awweee, big stwong man is scared of a little powder? You poor thing! If you're ugly, just say that!”

He is also emotionally intelligent

He knows that he might be sensitive to some of the things people say to him, and in those situations, he urges himself to just walk away

It doesn't matter who calls him a coward, if he needs to walk away from the scene, he will

If you wanna fight him, you gotta catch him first. Good luck even touching a hair on his skin, bro is FAST

his emotions come in strongly

But when they've said something that REALLY riled him up, he'd walk away angry beyond words. He’ll vent when he needs to (it's healthy to, and he knows he'll feel better afterwards), and maybe he'll cry. But he's not crying because he's sad, or because his feelings are hurt- it's because you made him so mad that his body got overwhelmed. Good fucking job

With 4*town

His biggest issue is him being babied

Don't get him wrong, he loves the special attention and affection from his bandmates

But there are times where he'd wish that they'd stop acting as if he were 5

He could be off on his own, getting a drink maybe, and they'd freak out like he had gotten kidnapped

Yes, he could get himself in some concerning situations, and yes, he can act out on a whim, but he’s an adult for goodness sake, he could take care of himself

That, and sometimes, the others won't take him seriously when he's mad

And sometimes they wont take his advice because something in them thinks young = stupid

He wants to be taken seriously just as much as the rest of them, and surprisingly, this was the biggest issue with T

When they had first started working together and he was making suggestions, t was very indifferent about his input

It was a long road before 4*town actually understood this because every time Tae Young tried to tell them, they'd brush it off to him being a juvenile rebellious teen, or him being cute when he's mad

So what if his stupid cheeks puffed up or if his stupid expression was cute when he was mad?! His feelings were still valid weren't they?

Their first time doing choreo together was…disastrous

“T, can you please go slower on the flip? I asked like 3 times now” “Well, what's gotten into you today? Calm the hormones down, haha!” “...dude, now is really not the time” "I'm not even doing anything??" "Aaron.." "what, you expect me to slow down in midair?" "T, you KNOW thats not what I meant." "Gosh, youre adorable- your face is doin the thing- anyways, listen, Z's being stingy on the timing here, soo either you keep up, or you do the original choreo with everyone else, kid🤷🏽‍♂️" "imsorry, kid? 😃 I-no, im fucking done" Tae Young storms out the studio, door slamming. The other members look on in shock. T is kind of surprised he reacted that way- he didnt mean to be condescending, but it didnt change the fact that he was.  "Tch. Nice going, T" Z says with dripping sarcasm, going after Tae Young to make sure he was okay.

The group is much more careful about this now

He was smart to go to Jesse to help with this. His old man wisdom came in handy! He taught Tae Young a lot about not letting people walk on him, and helped with his confidence a ton

They never meant to invalidate Tae Young's feelings and they avoid doing this as muuchhh as possible now

Tae Young is not afraid to confront them if it happens again

Okay, i just wanna say thank you guys SO much for all the love youve been giving me im so overwhelmed😭💖 

Your comments and hearts really motivated me! 

I just wanted to do my part in keeping the 4*town fandom thriving, so im so glad yall actually enjoyed it<3

Thinking of making a masterlist and taking requests soon!👀

#4town #4town headcanons #headcanon #4town robaire #4town taeyoung #4town jesse #4town aaron t #4town aaron z

[sol-consort]

I have no idea what Elcor are but that's the cutest thing I've seen in a while, I wanna gently place them into my pocket.

Also, I just got Mass-effect. Is there anything I have to brace myself for? Gameplay or story elements wise?

AAAA ilyyyy I'm so EXCITED FKNWODJWKS <3333 PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOUR PROGRESS AS YOU PLAY.

and eclor are the most adorable thing there is! They're like elephants and their speech is so cute! They use tone indicators before talking because their voice is monotone and they don't want the humans to feel like they're not being genuine

So for example if they're happy or grateful they won't just say "thank you" instead they're say:

"With great joy and sincere gratefulness: thank you"

My advice hmm.

First

You get different companions to take with you on missions and they each have different and unique dialogue on the said mission. You can take anyone anywhere on any mission so pick your favourite!

And if you want more lore, pick the ones that make the most sense for the mission. Like if you're going to X character hometown then bring X character with you.

Second thing

Ignore the main quest for as long as you can get away with. Whenever you get a side quest or a side mission, let it take priority over the main quest. I realised too late that mass effect let's you gun it from one main quest to another without nothing stopping you or any indications of the "point of no return" and side quests expire without warning too.

So unless you want the game to end in 3 hours, do the side quests. Most of them are very important and aren't just filler.

Here is a guide for the mission and quest order for all of the three games that has no spoilers! I personally used it.

Number three

Dialogue choices are important. They aren't just for immersion and aren't filler you gloss over, they can make or break a mission.

Don't stress over them. The game puts the "pragon" choices at the top while the "renegade" choices are the bottom. This order never changes but they might change from left to right.

Paragon depends on charm points. You're an optimistic who want people to work together and try to save as many lives as you could. Basically diplomatic and merciful.

Renegade depends on intimidation points. You're brutally honest, it's your way or the high way. Kinda of a human supremacist and always look for your own personal benefit and respect. This can make you lose people so sometimes you have to pick paragon options just to continue a conversation then switch to Renegade.

Save often before conversations or inbetween missions, you can't retract like in baldur's gate and the options you pick aren't always clear.

There are also options in the middle between the top and bottom. They can be neutral ones or inquiry ones that lets you ask a question to understand a situation better and then pick paragon or renegade.

In the second and third game, you gain charm and intimidate passively through your normal dialogue choices in conversations.

But in the first game, you have to level it up alongside your actual combat powers. You get a lot of points dw but I recommend prioritising the charm and intimidating over all other skills.

This is is a fps afterall, the only skill that matters is your aim.

Sometimes you get in conversations and realise you don't have enough charm points to pick the paragon option so it gets greyed out. And you miss out on looking cool :(

So save before conversations and if you don't have enough points then move along and postpone the conversation until you do. Even if it meant doing main missions.

Fourth thing

Your romance is very limited by your gender. If you like a character, consider looking up what gender they date.

Fifth

The game is pretty easy and forgiving in combat, decent armour gets you far and your teammates are better used for support than offence so prioritise yourself when it comes to upgrades and weapons first and give them your hand-me-downs.

Sixth

Modding really isn't that hard and fixes so much, especially the save filer editor because sometimes you realise you missed a very important decision in the first game but you're already in the third game and you don't want to replay the whole trilogy just for that one thing that's blocking your progress in the third game mission.

So save editor lets you edit your save file as easily as checking a box to make the game think you did do that important thing in the first game and now you don't feel like you missed out.

If you have any questions about modding, feel free to ask me. Even for a guide I'd happily oblige.

Seventh

There are different starting classes. They depends on how you like playing shooter games. They don't matter in the first game but they matter a lot in second and third when combat gets serious.

So experiment a lot. Some classes are built for short range knives or shotguns, others for snipers. Keep track of what works for you and note which class does what.

I recommend infiltrator. You have a sniper and become invisible and get a dmg boost.

There are also points and powers, put your teamates on auto leveling at the start if you want and only focus on your own character. The first game is very forgiving and it's best to understand your powers first then worry about your teammates in the second or third games.

Eight

Please import your character from game one to game two then to three. Trust me it is so worth it and an option ingame! So many things depend on your previous choices!

Ninth

In the first game, when you land on a planet in the car rover for a mission, Don't just head straight to the mission marker but also explore around! You find so many things and that's how you get the money for the armours and weapons by finding ore viens.

Same in the second game but instead of on foot exploration, you'll send probs to planets you scan. So scan the planets you come across for money.

Lastly and number 10

Have fun! Mess up! Level the wrong things and pick the wrong options. It's okay.

Explore the world, enjoy the beautiful views and interact with things. Touch everything you wanna touch despite the salarian scientist threatening to call the human embassy for your behaviour! Talk with everyone you wanna talk to.

Pick the armour that looks best even if it has bad stats, pick the decision you like even if it's a renegade one.

And if you ever like a character or want to request them <3 I am here and I am all ears.

[hi-i-am-a-sock]

Hi there!

Today I'm gonna share some tips for language learning!

So, we all know that understanding spoken language is a very important skill. Hovewer, developing this skill may be quite difficult. Here are some tips that helped me and might help you:

• watching subtitled videos/videos with script. This is a really good method to memorize pronunciation rules and to get used to them. On the other hand, you shouldn't abuse it, otherwise you'll end up not being able to understand the audio without them. A nice tip for beginners.

• for trying to develop actual speech understanding skill you should constantly exercise, starting with the most easy-to-understand audios and gradually going to real-life conversations/TV-shows/others. I reccomend to change the learning material (moving to a more difficult type of audio) when you can easily understand 90-100% of the grammar and 80-90% of the vocabulary, especially if you understand how to write the word and can search its meaning without problem.

• I'd really reccomend starting with Peppa Pig. It has easy but varied real-life conversations, different voices to get used to, not so difficult grammar and is translated in lots of languages. Of course, if you learn an endangered/not popular/dead language, there can be ploblems with finding something, but if there are Peppa Pig/other cartoons for little children episodes available, go for it.

• after Peppa Pig some toddlers/pre-teens cartoons are fine. Especially if there aren't many fantasy elements (these can create difficulty with vocabulary). I'll probably make a list with a couple of them later. Tell me if you're interested :)

• if there are easy-to-understand videos made by native speakers specially for foreigners, they're really cool too. People there usually talk slowly, put subtitles (just remember not to use them too often) and explain lots of things about culture/history/common mistakes. These may be really useful not only for improving your language skills, but also for learning new stuff!

• gamers are also great, especially if they play translated games. Not only can you learn vocabulary and some informal expressions, but you also have fun! Another advantage is that gamers usually have good microphones and the audio quality is really great. Sometimes they start to ramble a bit, so you probably will learn something not related to games, too. I'd reccomend watching Sims let's plays because there are lots of slice-of-life situations. Damn, you can even learn about architecture and furniture!

• if you're not really into video games, you can try storytime videos. Drawings really help to understand the context and people there usually have good microphones, too.

• if you already have an advanced level, trying niche videos is fun. Not only will you learn new things from different spheres, but also tones of vocabulary! Relationships, computers, art, mechanic, fantasy, science — you can learn whatever you want!

• songs are great for different reasons. First, you get used to unusual word order, learn new words and grammar. Second, songs usually get stuck in your head, so it's easy to remember things. Third, it's more difficult to catch the words if they're sung, so it's nice practice. Fourth, music makes you feel better. Don't forget about your mental (and not only) health when learning!

Well, that's all for today! If I remember something I forgot to mention, I'll add it or write another post. If you also have tips, feel free to write yours!

Have a nice day and good like with language learning!

#languages #langblr #polyglot #tips #studyblr #language learning

[sam-glade]

Happy STS!

Beginnings and endings!

Do you start writing at the beginning of the story, or do you jump in somewhere and fill the holes later? Does what you thought was the beginning sometimes change, i.e. do you cut off chapters at the start or add more?

Do you always know how it will end, what scene you are working towards, or do you only have a vague idea of where the story will take you? And what's your opinion on cliffhangers at the end of a book?

Hi Elli, Happy STS!

That's a handful of questions; I'll take them one at a time.

Do you start writing at the beginning of the story, or do you jump in somewhere and fill the holes later?

I tend to start at the beginning (for novella/novel-length projects), get to about 15-20% of the way, just past what can be considered the inciting incident*, and then I'll quite likely skip to a big scene that I can easily visualise. Then, I'll fill the holes, knowing better the direction it's going.

*not always. I do weird things with inciting incidents at times. Arguably, I often put two of them into a story.

Does what you thought was the beginning sometimes change, i.e. do you cut off chapters at the start or add more?

Yes, it can change. In fact, in Gifts of Fate, the first comment I've heard from every beta reader was that we were plunged into action too fast, and a scene/chapter of getting to know the protag would be nice. So I've added that.

Similarly I'll play around with scenes in the prologue and the first 3 or so chapters, figuring out which info is necessary at this point. I need to see it written to make that sort of decision.

Do you always know how it will end, what scene you are working towards, or do you only have a vague idea of where the story will take you?

I'll always have an idea for the big showdown, but the wrap-up afterwards can get rewritten a couple of times, until I decide which option best suits the themes of the story. Much like with the beginning, I've added and removed scenes at the very end.

And what's your opinion on cliffhangers at the end of a book?

This is very much a personal opinion, but I strongly dislike them. I tend to pick the next book in the series if I like the world, the characters, or the style (pretty much in that order), but a cliffhanger can put me off. It just feels like it's trying to trick me into getting the next book. I don't even like big unresolved threads, e.g. if at the end of the 'Lord of the Rings', we only got to see the Ring destroyed, but no resolution for Aragorn and the crown of Gondor.

Ideally, I'd want to see the main plots resolved, and the book offering a satisfying ending, if I decided to stop reading the series then, but with a clear signal that the events have changed the world. Basically, I'd like to be able to imagine what the lives of the main cast would look like, if they weren't eventful enough to fill another book, if that makes sense? The potential for consequences will often pique my curiosity. I think it was fairly nicely done in Gideon the Ninth, with the second part of The Locked Tomb telling another story entirely.

The exception to that is if the series was clearly described as 'this is a long story that wouldn't fit in a single book', e.g. each book acting as an act of the overarching story. As long as I know what I'm getting into.

#sts #ask and i shall answer #sorry yet another little rant

[thetragicallynerdy]

Got tagged for this by @yerbamansa, thanks pal! I'm tagging @yourlocal-charlatan, @alfalfairy, @swallowtailed, @nevershootamockingbird, @lovewithagirl, @eldritchjackalope, and @dragonmuse (but only if you want to)! Writing pals who I didn't tag but want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

Do you write in order?

LMAO NO. Very occasionally I'll sit down and bang out a story from start to finish in order, but it's a very, very rare occurrence. Most often I write completely out of order, by means of "thought of a scene, wrote it down, yeeted it somewhere in a loose approximation of where it might go in the non-existent outline." Actual proper outlining only happens once something gets over like, 20K. Small fics will sometimes get a very loose outline but it's usually just 3-5 bullet points.

Heck, even single scenes that get too long (looking at you smut scenes) get written out of order sometimes. My brain does not like doing things linearly so I just let it do as it pleases lol.

How fully formed does your writing come out the first try?

Ehh, it really depends on what I'm writing? I'd say decently fully formed, especially for prompts and single scenes, but every now and then I'll write something that's just chock-full of "come back to this" or "edit this" notes. I'm a very big believer in "write anything down to get over the block" and usually it works.

How many drafts do you go through?

For most things, two-three, although I don't really think of them in terms of drafts. I write a thing, then I edit. Usually read through and edit a second time as well, especially because my editing process usually adds a lot (anywhere from 1-10K to a fic, depending on how long it is and how many scenes I've forgotten to write lmao).

With much longer fics (like my two 90K WIPs), it's not really set in stone 'first draft second draft' etc, but things change and get shifted around a whole lot before it's done. I'm not a concrete plotter, which tends to mean things shift a lot.

Tell me about your process.

I get a stupid idea, I write a scene for it, and then it spirals out of control XD

But actually, that's pretty accurate. I have many many fics that came out of a single prompt scene and then grew to anywhere from 10 to 90 thousand words. I adore prompts, and they give me so many ideas and I want to write all of them. I am also Full of Feelings, so I tend to get a lot of emotions and ideas about sad plot points and then I want to write them.

I write a lot of scenes around people doing mundane things, and if I'm stuck, I always start with dialogue. Dialogue is my fav and comes easily most of the time.

In terms of technical settings (stole this because it's fun): Microsoft Word for me in terms of actual writing programs! I use Google Docs for collaboration, but it's not my fav. Also I'm a gremlin and VERY FREQUENTLY write directly into a discord channel (on my phone or laptop) so that I can inflict the WIP snippet onto my pals. Thank u pals who let me do this, I love u

And that's it! I welcome questions though, I can't think of anything more specific to write.

#writing #rambling #me #tag game #writing tag game

[sawamura-daichis-thighs]

Hi, how are you? I seen you in an ultrasound tag. And I seen you went to school for it. I was wondering if you could tell me your experience and if you enjoy it as a career?

Hi Anon, I'm good, thank you for asking! And absolutely, I’d be happy to. ^^

I live in the U.S., so requirements and program length may be different elsewhere, but in general most sonography programs are approximately 2 years (not including any prerequisite courses you'll need beforehand in order to apply). It is definitely a tough program! It takes a lot of dedication and determination and sometimes sheer force of will; I gave up the majority of my free time for 2 years to make room for the amount of studying that's required, was often pushed out of my comfort zone, and wondered more than once if I could truly achieve my goals, but in the end I feel it was 100% worth it.

I won't lie, sonography is a difficult field; at first, it kinda feels like "what do you mean these shades of gray make an image of actual anatomy, it all looks like blobs" but I promise that it eventually begins to make sense! It's such an exciting feeling when you look back after months of practice to realize that you've made visible, tangible progress and that now those "gray blobs" actually make sense as real anatomy. You get excited about the funniest things (my classmates and I would gush over a easily seen pancreas lmao I still do) and learn all kinds of cool, wacky things bodies can/might do.

My program included lecture courses, lab courses, and clinical rotations in real health care facilities. While they're all important, the clinical rotations were the most impactful for me because I learn best by being hands-on, which is exactly what those rotations are for. Lab time was great for learning the anatomy on generally healthy people (classmates) without many time constraints, with a teacher present to guide/answer questions, but clinicals introduce you to the general population who are, by and large, sick and/or in pain. It often introduces you to pathology that, until that point, you only see in lectures and books.

There are some important board exams required to become a registered sonographer: the SPI (Sonography Principles and Instrumentation) and a specialty board (Abdomen, OB/GYN, Vascular, etc.). Regardless of which specialty you want to go into, you must pass the SPI to become credentialed. I attached a link so you can research it further, but basically it's an exam that focuses on the physics that make ultrasound possible as an imaging modality. They’re difficult exams, designed so that you have to choose the “best answer” from multiple options that might technically be correct, so you have to read carefully. I have bad test anxiety, so I learned to skip anything I didn’t know immediately and come back to it after answering the rest. Also, trust your gut and refrain from changing your answers too often.

As far as my career, I'm still new at it. I've only been working as a registered sonographer for a little over 6 months, but, even with the challenges of working in health care, I love it. I like that I can work both independently and with a team; it’s nice to get my coworkers’ input/advice on things I’m not sure about or questioning. Every day is different. My hospital is super busy most days, but it offers a lot of room for obtaining experience due to the range of scans we perform. In an average week, I'll scan a mix of general abdomen (evaluating liver, gallbladder, kidneys, etc.), small parts (thyroid, scrotum), vascular (so many legs to rule out blood clots, whew), OB/GYN (lots of first trimester from the Emergency Room, and many second/third from patients in our Labor & Delivery unit), and we even perform procedures like biopsies. My hospital also has a NICU, where we scan infant brains or newborn kidneys or spines to evaluate for abnormalities. (Granted, not every hospital does all of this! We just happen to be one of the largest hospitals in an otherwise rural area so we're kind of a catch-all.) My ultimate goal is to become a travel tech, so I wanted to work somewhere that would help me gain a range of experience quickly.

As you can see, there's so many different possibilities with ultrasound! It's not just used for those who are pregnant, like a lot of people (myself included, initially) assume. If babies aren't your preference (which, same, they're super wiggly lol but cute regardless), you still have a wide range of options to choose from. I'd definitely recommend doing some research and asking for opportunities to shadow ultrasound techs near you, to get an idea of what they do and ask questions. (Unlike me, who literally Googled the profession before applying to my program with super limited knowledge on just what I was getting into lol thankfully it worked out and became something I love!)

#kat answers #anon #ultrasound #sonography #had to insert a read more bc this got long oops lol #i hope this helps! ​feel free to stop by any time if you have any other questions