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cosmosis · 1 year

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MOVED TO @seratopia

miguel o’hara x reader (fluff) - can’t sleep

you just can’t sleep without your husband next to you (i hope my spanish was okay)

Maybe it’s your cycle, maybe its just the fact that you’ve been literally working all day for the past 3 weeks, but you’re tired as shit. The bags under your eyes are almost purple, your entire body hunches over like a zombie when you walk, you barely have time to think nor speak to anyone else besides your husband. The entire building is lowkey worried you’ll snap one day.

Even Miguel is worried. Much how you like to do to him, Miguel’s been constantly ushering you to rest a little, borderline bribing you with nice takeout or some kisses to get you to sleep. But, to no avail. your sleep schedule is genuinely fucked.

You’re cranky, hungry, and sleep deprived.

At the moment, Miguel doesn’t really know where you are. Considering your current state, he thinks you’re out on a mission, or at least somewhere in the office.

He’s already tried walking through the entire office just looking for you. He checked the cafeteria, gym, hallway, etc. muttering, “Where th’fuck are they?” But, you were nowhere to be found.

So, Miguel tries something different. He pulls up his watch, scrolling down to a button that he really only should be using for emergencies, but to Miguel, this is an emergency on its’ own.

He presses the button, and suddenly his entire face is broadcasted to every single watch in the building. Dramatically, the emergency siren turns on, and all the spider-people are on their feet.

“If anyone sees my wife, please report back to me asap. Tell her to come see me, I can’t find her anywhere.“

The whole office can see Miguel rub a hand over his face, visibly both annoyed and tired. Everyone starts looking back and forth, tilting heads and making sure that you didn’t just happen to be around somewhere. Once the camera turns off, though, nearly the entire building starts chuckling.

It’s crazy how much Miguel’s face utterly lights up when he sees his watch ringing without your contact photo. Literally in a split second, he presses the button, opening up a microphone icon.

“Miguel?“

Ugh, he just loves the sound of your voice.

“¿Si querida?“

He hears you groan, possibly the sound of bedsheets shuffling, and it pulls at his heart. You’ve been so miserable lately, he just wants to see you back to your happy self again.

“Come home, now.“

Just the tone of your voice alone put a worried frown on Miguel’s face. (He never likes to admit how much of an impact your emotions have on him.) An ugly, anxious swarm starts to build at the back of his head, making him impossibly nervous.

Luckily, Miguel knows what to do.

“Of course, hun. I’ll be there in 10.“

And he turns the watch off, sighing to himself after. He’s a little bit nervous now, fearing as though he did something to upset you, or that you had something serious to talk about when he came home.

Every step Miguel takes to your shared home brought him closer and closer on edge, worry and theory swirling through his mind. His brain ping-ponged through every single possible reason why you’d want him to come home, especially in such a cranky matter. Maybe you were just tired? Maybe it was because he accidentally gave you a raisin bagel instead of a everything bagel?

By the time Miguel was at the door, his heart was beating erratically in his chest, hands the slightest bit shaky. Stepping inside, Miguel instantly beelined for your shared bedroom, gently opening the door.

He sees you shuffle around in the covers, his heart secretly swooning. You’re just so cute when you’re half asleep; needy and cuddlier than usual. Already at the bedroom door, Miguel practically rips his shirt off, kicking off his pants and making his way over to where you lay. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, gingerly swiping strands of hair off your face.

“What is it, hun?“ He coos.

You toss and turn, barely mustering a frown onto your face. Your eyes are half-lidded, tank top almost falling off your shoulder until Miguel readjusts it for you.

“Can’t sleep without you.“ You mumble, slowly scooting yourself over and draping your arms towards him. Miguel practically swoons, cooing and leaning into your touch. How could he resist such an offer?

“Awh, baby.“

He tangles himself into bed with you, breathing the biggest sigh of relief. It wasn’t what he thought it was. You just wanted snuggles. Miguel takes it upon himself to spoil you extra, ghosting his touch over your back and kissing the darling skin of your temple.

Like the thousands of times he has before, Miguel tangles his legs into yours, kneading his fingers into the skin of your raised leg.

Within a few minutes or so, Miguel feels you knock out like a light, tiny puffs of air escaping your mouth while you fist the sheets like a baby. He sighs, staring at you for a few moments while you sleep. Affectionately, he rubs his knuckles against your cheek, smooching your forehead.

Miguel pulls a blanket over the both of you, knowing very well that by the time you’re awake, it’ll be completely on the floor. Readjusting his position, Miguel doses off to sleep, allowing himself to completely let go of all the stresses he holds.

After all, he can’t sleep without you either.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara x you #atsv miguel #atsv x reader #atsv #spiderman #across the spiderverse #x reader #reader insert #fluff #romance #cute and cuddly #cosmosis-writes ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎

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m1ssunderstanding · 5 months

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Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day Five

The thing is I absolutely love the album that comes out of this mess. Like I know a lot of people do not like Let It Be, but so many of my favorite songs are on it. One of them being “I Me Mine.” The walz element is haunting, and I can read the lyrics as anti-capitalist even though George himself mostly wasn’t.

Laughing my head off at two boys from one of the best grammar schools in England, who have at this point made millions off of their writing, genuinely not knowing whether it should be “more freer” or “more freely”

The difference in how George shows Paul his new song vs John is striking. For Paul, he’s relaxed, nonchalant. For John, he stands up and performs it. And I think both are a defense mechanism, poor baby, because clearly, although Paul was very supportive of the song while they were alone, when John is roasting it, Paul just laughs along and George has to go “I don’t give a fuck whether you like it.”

Ah, the famous “up-against-a-wall” conversation. Paul comes in all dominant and sure. “Haven’t you written anything else? Haven’t you?” But then John touches him, and makes him laugh, and Paul’s a melted, goo-goo-eyes mess. This is the real reason why John got to be the leader isn’t it? Because Paul was too damn soft on him to ever follow through with his bossiness.

Their scouse sounds BEAUTIFUL compared to the stupid ugly RP and MLH’s transatlantic shit.

“And now John’d like to say a few words on the subject.” John starts singing, Paul strums along and joins in on the “chorus.” They can’t communicate like healthy people, but they Can do this.

So Peter Jackson took out Paul’s bitchy nod at Yoko as he’s stealing her man in real time right in front of her eyes. Unforgivable. But he kept in this adorable laugh, so that’s something.

Three more covers that I think *mean something* “Stand By Me” and “Spinning Like a Top” by Paul, followed by “You Win Again” by John. Yoko’s sweet little shoulder kiss. Thank you for taking care of the poor wet kitten, girly. Maybe don’t introduce the poor wet kitten to heroine, but you do you, I guess. (OP recognizes that poor wet kitten is also an adult capable of making his own decisions)

The cut from Paul literally dancing to get John’s attention straight to John dancing with Yoko while inside Paul’s head a silver hammer is clanging ominously. I can’t. Followed by the knowing, loving smile from Ringo to Paul. You know, those moments when you validate your friend’s bitchy thoughts with a look.

George is literally SO big inside himself, you know? You have to have superhuman self-love abilities to watch your friend – who is supposed to be helping you – shamelessly make fun of your art . . . and just “Do you wanna do that walz on the show? That’d be great.”

But did you guys know John was actually a really great mover?

“Yes, alright. Just sod off.” I love John. Paul’s people-pleasing ass would literally die first and he needs John to do this kind of shit for him and John’s only too happy to.

The moment when Paul and John are on the same wavelength about Dennis O’Dell’s stage.

OK but. Did John get the clear plastic idea from Yoko’s art exhibits?

“Any time we do anything it’s always got to be the best.” Poor Ringo. They’re all literally so tired of carrying so much weight for such a long time.

“See, I’d watch an hour of him just playing the piano. Cause he’s so great.” With that fond, loving, smile. SUCH big dick energy here. The others could NEVER.

“And I’ll have the plastic when you’re finished.” Literally for what, though? John, you little hoarding goblin.

And then Ringo responding to MLH’s “I love you” with “Yes, I love you too.” Yeah, Ringo wins the prize for most healthy beatle of the day.

*Pattie Boyd voice* “I just wish I knew what was going on there. But something. Something.”

Ugh, John looks so hurt. So tender. So heartbroken. While Paul is over there playing a damn funeral march because that’s the only way he lets himself express anything. But I actually love how Dennis O’Dell knows the clearest path to cheering John up is to say that Paul liked his idea. And how well it works. They’re literally so obvious to everyone but themselves.

I love the bit when John walks in on the rest of them discussing the live show and MLH calls, “We’ve decided. We’re going to Africa.” And Paul hurries to cut in, “No we’re NOT.” Because he knows exactly how John can get and he’s going to nip this in the bud before John gets let down. And of course, John is all “YEAH LETS GO LETS GO!” And he’s talking about how they always wish they were recording abroad. “We could be in LA, or FRANCE.” (side eye emoji)

Paul’s “Well said, John.” and “I’ve seen it, John. I went to the premiere. I thought you were great.” Why do all your compliments to him have to be in silly voices? Like, I know you think everyone is going to call you a pussy for saying something genuinely kind to your best friend, but they’re not, and he needs it.

Holy shit this was a long day. See you all tomorrow with another long-winded-ass post.

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #get back

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dadsbongos · 1 year

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engloutir

1.2 K words

warnings - incredibly vague spot in the csm timeline (somewhere post vol. 11 but before part 2), character study stupid daydream bullshit, angst :) and fluff, IMMEDIATE SPOILERS

summary - Denji has never been one to see himself as a "settle down" kinda guy, but now he might be ready for you (not so much plot).

You have to remind yourself, often, that Denji is another person. Under the chainsaws and the lackadaisical attitude, he is still a man. Soft and flesh and tears. Man.

He sits on your porch now. Makima gone. Power gone. Aki gone. Brothers and sisters and lovers - all for a moment in the blip of his lifetime, all beloved with each stretch of his heart. He’s quiet - bizarrely - staring up at the blanketed stars. Chairs shoulder to shoulder, you’re expected to take the one by him.

“I didn’t know if you wanted anything so I got you - uh - this,” you hold a warm mug out over his shoulder. It was a gift from Himeno, on your first birthday since meeting her. Light blue with a picture of you two printed ugly and wide across the front, “Just warm milk.”

“I think I’m lactose intolerant,” Denji takes the mug anyway. He thinks it’s nice you were concerned about his tastes, but he’ll eat anything. He’s hungry for it all and he always wants more.

“I can get you something else?” you hold a hand out and he wants to take it - drag you down with him, but that’d be sullying and he doesn’t know if he’s quite that hungry.

“Nah,” he sips from your warmed milk and honey and you remember he’s been through hell.

The bags under his eyes have gotten heavier and his shoulders slouch a bit more than they used to.

“This is perfect,” his sharp teeth might cut right through your mug, he almost wants to. Just to leave evidence he was ever there. That you let him in.

He’s always liked you - you were kinder than the others, more patient, more attentive, more genuine. Now that Makima can’t hold the leash like she used to, he realizes he liked your method better. The gentler hand that feeds what he asks and chances being bit rather than shoving escargot past his teeth.

Sometimes you forget he’s hurt, it's easy when he usually isn’t so quiet - he can talk faster than Power could clear a room, and he puts it to good use when he doesn’t want people asking questions. You feel bad you don’t ask, especially with the way he stares.

You crawl over the armrest to your other deck chair and stare into your own mug. Plain water is mostly all you can stomach these days. Everything else tastes like Aki and Power and Himeno and Beam and Angel and Galgali even though you know it shouldn’t. Kishibe told you it’d get you killed.

Maybe you shouldn’t have let Denji live with you - milk may start to taste like sunset hair and a vulgar tongue. Maybe Denji won’t be able to stomach water.

It’s cold tonight. And Denji sees you shiver.

“Where’s your jacket?” his tone is accusatory, “Trying to catch something?”

“Forgot it inside, I think,” you know you did, pouting as you huff soon after, “I don’t wanna get up…”

Denji is not selfless, but he sets down the mug with you and Himeno stretched over and braces his hands on the armrests of his chair, “Want me to run inside?”

“No, no!” you bat his arm until he’s relaxed again, “Don’t ruin this.”

It’s a common night. One you see more often than not, but Denji would write home about it just because it’s seen from a clean porch in a cushioned chair outside a nice apartment. With you. But he can’t write home - and the more he thinks about it the more he realizes it might just be because he’d be writing back to you.

The water is flat and plain on your tongue, but it’s better than cracking over the soda Aki used to always buy you when he’d see it.

Denji’s milk is starting to cool and form a thin film over top - he hates the film but he will drink it anyway. Because he is starving, and because you made it.

Denji wants to unhinge his jaw and swallow you whole. Not to hurt. Not to kill. To keep. He wants you in his mornings and he wants you at night. He wants you forever and always and he wants you in my palms. He wants you to want him - want him for Denji, for the human beneath the chainsaws and surrounded by the flesh. To make sure you need him like he does you and secure you like he couldn’t with Aki and Power.

You feel like the warm blanket in December, when you can crawl into a bed at the end of the day and rub your feet together while curling into a ball.

He wants you to swallow him whole.

And when you look at the emptiness left in his chair and ask, “Can I sit with you?” he feels like you’re about to.

He hums and scoots closer to the leftmost arm of the chair, looking up at you as you stand. His eyes are big and wonderful and you can almost see stars twinkle in their reflection - or maybe that’s just Denji.

Almost as he was when you first met him. With big, loud words and no sense of his place.

“You can sit on my lap, too, if you want?” he’s grinning now, and this feels natural.

Talking about how he avoids his birthday and answering the phone can wait another day - for now, he just wants a blanket in December and you’re taking his offer. One leg looping over his and your side caving close to him.

“Such a perv,” you pinch his skin and notice there’s more fat than when you first met him. You don’t say anything, you don’t want him to think too much about it.

“You know it!” he holds out his mug and you clink yours with it, he polishes off his cold milk and the bitter, nasty film that formed on the surface in one gulp. You sip your water and lay your head against his shoulder.

He’s calmer these days, though, and you assume it’s what he’s been through. Having to return from hell.

“Wanna go to the store with me tomorrow?” you angle your head to stare at Denji.

Moonlight mirrors off his skin nicely - cherry cheeks warm against yours and eyes sweet when they turn back to you. You don’t know exactly what you two are, but you do know that if he leaned down to kiss you - you wouldn’t stop him.

“Sure,” he stares a little longer and you hope he likes this angle of your face, he doesn’t think there’s a possibility he couldn’t, “The one with the dog on the sign, right?”

He still likes dogs - you assume that’s the memories of Pochita. You’re glad Makima couldn’t rip that from him.

You nod slowly, grinning at him as he beams back down at you, “Duh. And the free samples.”

“Fuck yeah!” he kicks his legs out and onto the porch banister and leaves them there.

His muscles are less tense now, and when you stretch your legs out to rest by his, he melts into his chair even further - because he is hungry.

He will drink the milk and eat the film and consume your presence in its entirety. He wants to swallow and be swallowed. To be secured like neither of you could do before. Whole. Entirely.

~~~

@chainsaw-man-inserts finally... a return to chainsaw man

#denji x reader #denji x you #denji x y/n #csm x you #csm x reader #chainsaw man x reader #chainsaw man fanfiction #chainsaw man #csm #denji #denji hayakawa

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awakentheeldritchabomination · 3 months

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First Random Writing Dump

CW: mentions of self harm and emotional abuse

As decreed by the poll, most of ya’ll seem fine with a little bit of word vomit, and since I have some time, I’m just gonna spew a bit of my thoughts on my version of Charlie so far. It won’t be much, just a jumbled list of rough ideas. I don’t know how set I am with these, but here goes:

- They may or may not be renamed

- They use they/them pronouns but don’t correct people who misgender them; they find gender to be an odd concept, and they can’t quite grasp why people care so much about it

- They know a lot about human history but have not personally interacted with many people beyond what is necessary (until later)

- Their capacity to empathize with the plight of humans comes from guilt, their mother, who is still going to be Lilith… maybe…., a horrific chance encounter, and their relationship with V (gotta pick a name for her lol)

- Still, growing up in a privileged position largely removed from the sinners’ reality while being surrounded by reminders that these people invited suffering through their own wickedness has given them this sense of innate superiority; they are semi-aware of the fact that their elitist mindset exists and is not…great…but they prefer to bury it under toxic positivity and pretend it’s not an issue

- They have been trained to fight (heaven and hell are still basically at war, after all), but they’ve never had a real battle, and they’ve certainly never killed anyone before; the weight of dealing death terrifies and paralyzes them

- They are aware of what they are, and they deeply fear what they are capable of

- They are not very well acquainted with their demonic form, and they’d rather not be; it’s often triggered by ugly feelings they don’t want to confront

- Yeah, they’ve got some things going on deep down. Beneath the sunshine and rainbows and genuinely good intentions, there’s this raw, wriggling darkness, gnawing on their insides like maggots; they don’t know why

- Spoilers: it’s the manipulation and emotional abuse Lucifer subjected them to as well as the resentment harbored against both parents for deciding to bring a child into a realm meant as an eternal torture chamber for evil people; they don’t consciously recognize the abuse they experienced because of strategic subtly, gaslighting, and isolation from other experiences. Both they and Lilith know something about Lucifer is off, and it creates this eerie, underlying fear that permeates every interaction, yet neither of them know how bad it actually is; Also Lilith likes to make excuses just like: “Oh, don’t be like that. He’s just doing whatever coz he loves you :)”

- Their warring sides will come to a head; the anger inside them will boil over, and they will be a terror

- Lucifer cuts them off after a falling out that occurs because of the hotel proposal; they will only be accepted back once they’ve “come to their senses”

- Charlie and Alastor have a weird relationship; they’ve got this yin-yang, mirrored image thing going on; they:

1. Are both biracial and are torn between different worlds

2. Have distanced themselves from one (their blackness. Yeah, Charlie is technically half black. But it’s a little more about their relation to the whole of humanity for them), but while one is actively trying to seek it out, the other has been conditioned to avoid it

3. Are performers (which will play a role in discussions of identity, y’know, what it means to perform an aspect of identity; what is whiteness vs blackness; queerness vs heteronormative ideals; how we generally define them and individually express them. But it’s also just “hey, we both like doing a thing. Oh, wow. Neat.”)

4. Have a volatile amount of anger that makes them violently lash out

5. Have strictly opposing yet similarly extreme moral principles

this will also be present in their designs (they have opposing coloration: blue vs red, white on black vs black on white, etc.); then there’s the wolf vs deer thing… I feel like I’d need a separate post to go through all that. I feel like this is already a lot lol

- They kinda feel conflicted about being friends with Al because he allows them to cut loose a bit and have fun, and they weirdly enough have a bit in common….but like…. dude ate people…..uhhhhhhh (does that make them a bad person if they like a literal murderer?), but then they think “I’m not supposed to judge. I’m supposed to help (and I’m totally fine….right….?). Meanwhile, V’s just like, “No, babe, please judge”

- They don’t like absolute silence, and they don’t like being alone; it allows their mind to wander into dangerous places; since Alastor is a literal radio that spits out music and static constantly, they sometimes just seek him out when their thoughts are too loud. Like, he just becomes a sentient noise machine for them basically

- Charlie’s got a habit of chewing on things when they’re nervous—pens, the inside of their cheek, their nails—coz dog (or….wolf….dragon….thingy); it’s usually harmless, but when they feel especially bad, they bite themselves (sometimes they bite the stuffing out of pillows as a substitute); when they start to more aggressively gnaw on their nails, V usually tries to guide their hand away

- They hide under the bed when they are feeling particularly miserable and anxious

There’s a lot more crap brewing, and I didn’t go into as much detail as I could have…. But I think that’s enough for maybe the week idk. If anyone’s at all curious, I might make another post about V or something.

Leave thoughts in the notes if you wanna!

#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel redesign #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel rewrite #charlie redesign #hazbin charlie redesign #Hazbin Charlie rewrite

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jakekiszkaenthusiast · 2 years

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i see it- j.m.k

warnings: SMUT, lil bit of degradation never hurt nobody, enemies to lovers, semi public sex??

anger. resentment. indignation. rage.

whatever you wanted to call it, it was clear and profound. your leg bounces against your chair, while your fingers tap a quick, messy beat into the glass you’re holding.

the silence within your group of friends was stiff, and tired. they were so used to these pauses- the ones where no one feels as if they can speak, while a quiet battle wages on before their eyes. a standoff between two people, tense and unforgiving, for all to see.

“you got no response? no shitty little remark to make?”

josh’s voice captures your attention, but you refuse to look at him. instead, you shake the glass, the rattling of the ice being the only sound for a moment. he scoffs, leaning back into his seat and crossing his arms over his chest.

“that’s what i thought.” he mutters, catching the roll of your eyes and mirroring them.

“are you guys gonna keep doing this all night, or can we all-”

“-i just think it’s fucking funny that you actually, genuinely believe you have any say in what i do, or wear.” you cut jake, always the mediator between you and josh, off with a hand and a bitter tongue.

jake merely shakes his head and nurses his drink, defeated. he was fighting a losing battle, and would be a stupid man to get in your way when either of you were like this. he knew, maybe better than anyone, that his twin brother was a force no one could reckon with, and secretly thought that perhaps his brother had met his match in finding you.

“maybe stop dressing like a slut, and i’ll shut up.” josh shoots back, and you laugh without mirth.

“oh now joshua, don’t tease.” you say, because there’s really nothing you’d want more than for him to stop talking.

“i’m just saying, if you’re dressed like a whore, you can’t expect people to respect you. i know i don’t.”

“who says i give a fuck about respect, or you, for that matter? all you are is my friend’s asshole brother. you don’t matter to me, and i wouldn’t be shocked if no one cared about you.”

“god, you’re a bitch and a slut. no surprise you’re single- no one can stand to be around you for longer than a minute. does it ever get lonely?”

usually his words would bounce off of you, and you’d shoot back with a remark even more harsh than his. you’d both end up with ugly scowls across your faces and one of your friends changing the subject in poor attempts to keep the peace. usually.

maybe you had drank too much, the alcohol taking control of more than just your words. maybe it was because josh was incessant and cruel, and you no longer had the energy to fight back. either way, you found yourself slamming your glass against the table and your legs carrying you in the direction of the bathrooms before you could stop to think.

the door slams behind you. you’re cold and hot at the same time, shivers taking over your shoulders while your body overwhelms with heat from the inside of your chest. looking up at yourself in the mirror, you sigh. maybe you were dressed provocatively. josh was right.

you feel even more angry at that thought. you hated that tiny possibility of josh being right, hated when he managed to catch you off guard and make you feel meaningless and small. he was a raging asshole.

the door behind you flies open with a crash, revealing a red-faced and thoroughly pissed off josh. he stormed into the tiny room, getting too close for your liking, invading your space with his cologne.

“you’re really that sensitive?” he speaks just barely above a yell, his fists clenched.

“i don’t want to speak to you right now.” your eyes meet in the mirror.

“too bad. you really can’t take what i give you, huh? you want me to walk away just so your feelings don’t get hurt?”

josh steps closer, glaring so hard his eyebrows almost touch, his breath ragged with barely contained rage. you grip the counter, refusing to give him an answer to pick apart and spit back out at you.

“i don’t give a fuck about your feelings.” he whispers, and you’re suddenly aware of just how close he is. you feel the warmth of his body, feel the brush of his white shirt against your back.

you manage to twist your body to face him, leaning back against the counter with a startled breath catching in your throat. his eyes flick down to your lips for a brief second, before finding your eyes again.

“fuck. you.” you spit out through gritted teeth, staring defiantly into his face.

“i bet you’d love that, whore.” he murmurs.

you open your mouth to shoot back something cruel, but his hand stops you. he silences you, watching as your eyes widen and you try to pull away, but to no avail.

“shut up for once.”

you wrestle against him, thrashing your head from side to side. your hands grab his wrist, digging your nails into his skin and tightly squeezing, trying your hardest to pull him away from you. josh laughs at your efforts, using barely any of his strength to render you immobile and frustrated.

when you still, slumped against the counter with a deep sigh, he removes his hand, ghosting it across your cheek to hold you there, his other hand joining soon after. he tugs your face closer to him, and you can see all the specks of gold in his eyes.

you’re silent, staring at him with dumbfounded surprise. he’d never been this close to you, nor had he ever laid a finger on you. this closeness, the strong, sturdy weight of his chest pressing against yours makes your throat tighten, and you can’t seem to find your breath.

without warning, you’re leaning in, chasing his mouth with yours, just barely grazing his lips before he pulls away. he looks at you with a smirk, a quirk in his eyebrows betraying that this was his exact plan.

“you wanna kiss me?” he says quietly, his fingertips pressing into your cheeks.

you nod embarrassingly fast, letting go of his wrists to grab at his jaw. he breathes a laugh, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip, before leaning in just close enough to run his lips against yours.

“you want me?”

to answer his question, you tug on his neck and crash your lips to his. you don’t let either one of you come up for air, and quickly slip your tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss.

he groans into your mouth, sweeping his hand across the back of your neck and tangling his fingers with your hair. you can’t get him close enough, it seems. your fingers scrabble at his back, his shirt, his neck, his hair- anywhere you can touch you’re digging your nails into, gasping into the kiss and pulling him tighter.

josh pulls on your hair to break the kiss, laughing breathlessly when you still try to chase his mouth. your hands are still wandering anywhere you can reach, dancing across the unexplored and new territory that was his body. you’d had the displeasure of knowing him for years, and yet you’d never been given the opportunity to touch him. you privately wished you had never been denied such a delectable chance.

“where’s this been hiding all these years, hm? how long have you wanted to do that?” he asks, smirking at your flushed cheeks.

“how long have you wanted to do that, joshua?” you bite back, tugging on a curl and watching his eyelashes flutter.

when he rolls his eyes and kisses you again, you laugh into his mouth. he lost any ounce of secrecy the moment you felt how hard he was against your thigh.

this time, josh is the one who grabs and pulls you into him. his fingers are tight and desperate against your hips, and he doesn’t have to say a word to order you to jump, effortlessly sliding you onto the counter and slotting himself between your legs.

“if anyone catches us, i swear to fucking god” you groan, suddenly remembering exactly where you were, and horrifyingly, how the door did not lock behind josh.

“let them watch” he mutters against your lips.

you can’t help the sound that rips out of you- the combination of his filthy implications and the pressure of him against your soaked panties was enough to make you crumble, fully submitting to his touch. he pulls away, replacing his mouth with his hand once more.

“if you make another sound i’ll stop, and you’ll have to sit out there with our friends with a mess between your legs. we don’t want that, do we?”

rapidly you shake your head, breathing heavily against his hand.

“that’s what i thought. good girl.”

another noise escapes you. your eyes flutter shut when you feel his fingers pressing between your legs, gently smoothing circles into your underwear.

“you like me calling you that, good girl?”

you nod so quickly you fear your head may fall off, ignoring any ounce of humiliation you know you’re supposed to feel.

“it’s a shame. a dirty slut like you could never be a good girl.” he speaks low into your ear, sending shockwaves through your chest to your toes.

“you dress like a whore. you like to pretend you’re all innocent, but i know the truth. i know you.”

his fingers change from their languid, calm actions, shoving your underwear roughly to the side and sliding between your folds. the corner of his mouth twitches, noting how wet you are.

“i know that you like when we argue, because i get you all worked up- you always rush off to touch yourself in secret, don’t you?”

swirls around your clit force your eyes to the back of your head. your body sags, slumping down as he deftly works over you, occasionally running a finger against your entrance, but never slipping inside, no matter how badly you conveyed you wanted it.

“wishing it was me, wishing i would take all my anger out on you with my cock, yeah?.”

you feel like you’re on fire, you’re that worked up. he slides his finger inside of you and you almost unravel then and there- he has you so tightly wound, practically wrapped around his finger, you could explode at any moment. he curls his finger into your sweet spot, and you think you’re going to evaporate into nothing.

“it’s almost funny how badly you want me. you know i can see your thighs squeeze together when i call you names, right? i see what i do to you without even laying a finger on you.”

a second finger finds its way inside of you, and he finally gives you the movement you’ve been silently begging for, sliding in and out of you with a sweet pace that makes your thighs shake.

“prove you’re a good girl and cum on my fingers, okay? be a sweet little princess and give it to me.” he commands in such a gentle voice you could almost believe it was a request; that he was asking for it and not demanding it from you.

embarrassingly, you’re almost there already. the manner in which he spoke to you, soft voice with filthy words, and the speed and skill of his fingers felt more perfect and right than anything you’ve ever experienced. you try to remind yourself that he was someone you hated, someone you’d rather hit with your car than fuck, but you involuntarily shut those thoughts out with a carnal, unstoppable chanting of his name. you aren’t sure if you’re speaking out loud or in your mind, and you aren’t bothered enough to care either way.

your orgasm hits you like a wall, crashing into you and setting you on fire. you just barely hear josh’s voice coaxing you through it, floating away into the feeling of pleasure coating your body. he brushes his thumb over your clit, and you almost scream at the sensitivity, arching your back and whining softly.

“such a good little girl, you did exactly what i told you to do. so obedient.” he observes the wetness covering his fingers with lust-blown pupils, biting his lip.

despite the haze of your orgasm, you reach out for the button of his pants, tugging and pulling at the fabric until you find what you’re searching for, the object of your needs. you waste no time wrapping your hands around his cock, pumping him with a tight fist, running your thumb over the sensitive spot just under the head. he squeezes his eyes shut, letting his mouth hang open for a second.

“spread your legs again, need to fuck you. ‘m so hard-shit.” he commands with far less composure than the last time, his eyes half-lidded and soft while his hand grabs at your knees to open you to him again.

you take his cock with no effort, watching with wide eyes as his face scrunches up, barely able to control it. the very moment he fills you up is one you’d love to live in forever. the slow glide of him stretching you out, his fingers grabbing at the sides of your thighs, that delicious, burning end to all the anticipation- it was overwhelming, too much and not enough all in one fell swoop.

watching the furrow in his brow, hearing the catch in his throat when you clench tightly around him, feeling his tip brush against that sweet spot buried deep inside of you was intoxicating- dangerous and electrifying in the same way watching a fire dance and stumble with no control is, engulfing everything in its wake- you knew you’d forever chase this high, knew you’d never get it again. he was addictive.

josh tips his head back and groans into the air, a deep and throaty sound that makes you clench around him. he rocks his hips forward, his eyes rolling back momentarily, before repeating the action again. and again. and again. soon, he’s thrusting into you with no control or hesitation, squeezing your thighs so tightly you hope they’ll bruise.

you hold his head in your hands, running your fingers over his cheekbones, and pull him close to you. your mouths touch, but you never kiss. neither one of you feels the need to extend the contact into anything more- frankly, moaning against each other’s mouths, panting and whining openly for just the other to hear, is more intimate than kissing.

“fuck, you feel so good.” he whispers, in a voice far more soft and desperate than you’re sure he wants, his hips speeding up.

“please don’t fucking stop.” you gasp out, clutching the back of his head with shaking fingers.

“wouldn’t even if i could.” he replies, so far gone he can’t control the speed of his hips or the words coming out of his mouth.

lost in the moment, you both lose time. the feeling of him everywhere, his lips grazing your jaw, his fingers on your hips and between your legs, his cock sliding in and out, the smell of his skin- everything. it makes you dizzy and warm, and you’re not sure how long you’re both lost in the swirls of pleasure floating around your heads, but you know you’d pay disgusting amounts of money to stay like this for a lot longer.

josh pulls you back to the present with a loud cry, his eyebrows knotting together and his mouth hanging open. just knowing what was about to happen was enough to push you over the edge, and you’re suddenly both careening into your own personal heaven, handcrafted and made just for you.

his hips still roll into you as you both cum, and you whine. you’re so sensitive, you can hardly cope, pressing your head against the wall behind you while loud sounds are forced past your lips. you push a hand against his stomach, begging for a reprieve, but his eyes are closed.

“can’t stop, feels too fucking good. can’t stop cumming- fuck.” he pants.

tears brim beneath your eyelids, your hips lift up and twist, trying their hardest to escape the overwhelming sensation as he keeps moving, driving his cock deeper and deeper into your sweet spot.

an inhuman noise leaves him, and he’s cumming again. his abdomen flexes, while his cock throbs so hard inside of you, you almost expect him to explode. he hisses when you clench down on him, warning him to stop, and he quickly pulls out, taking hold of himself and sighing deeply.

he’s still twitching when he helps you clean up, tenderly wiping between your thighs with one hand, while the other still cups his cock. you run a teasing finger along his length, and laugh when he practically jumps away from your touch, tensing and glaring coldly at your amused face.

“what you gonna do, yell at me? you’ll just get hard again.” you challenge, watching his eyes darken for a brief moment.

“i see how much you like calling me names, joshua. you’re not as subtle as you think.”

#greta van fleet #fanfiction #josh kiszka #greta van fic #josh kiszka fanfiction #josh kiszka fanfic #josh kiszka smut #josh kiszka x reader

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panjakes · 1 year

Note

i need a doyoung enemies to lovers but your both am artists black reader!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

also 127 is going on tourrr in 2023 😭😍😍😍😍😍

Babesss I know and I wanna goooo!!!! Also this man is fine…body slam me

Doyoung couldn’t stand you. You joined SM as a soloist about two years ago. He couldn’t stand you the way you just came in. You were so sweet to others and so mean to him. Granted, he was also mean too you but, either way it goes Doyoung didn’t like you.

You were beautiful, don’t get Doyoung wrong. He just literally could not stand you. So he was definitely upset when him, and haechan walked into the studio and he saw you.

“Why is she here?” He asks pointing to you. You just ignore him and continue to talk to the producer

“Oh my gosh it’s Yn” Haechan whispers making Doyoung roll his eyes. He hate how damn near every artist In SM worshiped you. He hates to admit it but your were a multi talented artist.

“So I’ll just change the flow, I’ll start slow and then take it up a bit” you say making the producer nod.

You turn around facing haechan with a smile

“Hi haechan how are you?” You asks

“Im good” Haechan says. You turn your attention to Doyoung immediately dropping your smile

“Youngdo” you say smirking

“Fuck off, why are you here?” He asks

“Your gonna be on my song, you and haechan” you say

“ I don’t want to be on your song” Doyoung says

“Hey! Cut it out! This is good for NCT, Yn and sm! Your doing the song” Haechan says to Doyoung

“You should listen to haechan, he’s smart and about his business” you say winking at haechan before turning back around in your chair

Haechan nods with a blush. Doyoung rolls his eyes. Something about that wink he didn’t like.

“I genuinely don’t want to go” Doyoung says

“Why?” Johnny asks

“Because I’m not hungry” Doyoung says with a sigh

“Are you not hungry or do you just not want to be around Yn?” Taeyong asks making Doyoung roll his eyes

“I don’t understand how you don’t like her. She’s a literally sweetheart” Jaehyun says

“That’s what she wants you to think! Deep down inside she’s a monster” Doyoung says

“That’s because you bring the ugly out in people. You literally provoke that girl any chance you get” Haechan says making Doyoung glare at him.

“Whatever, let’s go and get this over with” He mumbles walking into the restaurant with the rest of his members behind him

He walks over to the table where you say taking pictures for instasnap. He had to admit your outfit was really nice and you looked good

“Wow you cleaned up nice” he says sitting down

“Thank you” you say smiling

“But clean up some more you kind of missed a spot” he says smirking before bopping you on the nose with his finger

You grab his finger giving it a slight squeeze with a sickly smile on your face

“Careful youngdo, don’t hurt yourself now” you say before throwing his hand back into his lap

“Yn!! Congratulations I heard you’ll be performing at MAMA” Johnny says

“Oh yeah! I’m pretty excited” you say smiling

“Break a leg…literally. Break a leg” Doyoung says smirking

“I’ll break your legs” you say pointing your chopsticks at him

“She’s sassy! I love it” Haechan says

As you and the guys conversed, Jaehyun couldn’t help the smirk on his face as Doyoung stared at you very intensely.

“Stop staring, you’ll burn holes in her face” Jaehyun chuckles

“I-I’m staring cause I hate her” Doyoung says making Jaehyun chuckle louder. Everyone at the table looks at him in confusing causing him to throw a hand up

“I’m sorry, Doyoung’s really funny” he says

“Oh really? I thought he was pretty corny” you say smirking

“And you think your a comedian?” Doyoung asks

“I wouldn’t say comedian but I’m definitely funnier than you” you say turning around before he could respond

“As I was saying, your actually into Yn” Jaehyun says

“I am not. I can’t stand her and she can’t stand me” Doyoung says putting his chopsticks down

How dare Jaehyun come up with such an obscured conclusion? There’s no way in hot blazing hell that you were into Doyoung? Right?

“Stop is Jaehyun. Your being childish” Doyoung says before picking his chop sticks back up. Jaehyun smirks taking a sip of water

“Im right, that’s why I’m childish” he says chuckling. Doyoung rolls his eyes, shaking his head

You were in one of the practice rooms practicing your routine for MAMA. Haechan, who you got close with really fast, was there to help and cretqur you.

“I just, can’t get this one move down and Chin isn’t here” you said groaning

“What is it? I can help” Haechan says getting up from the floor

“Here look. I need you to do this” you say showing him your phone

Haechan looks at the video nodding

“I can help you” Haechan says

“Great!” You say throwing your phone to the side

You start the music watching you and Haechan in the mirror. Doyoung walks in putting his things in a corner watching you and Haechan.

He sits down unlocking his phone watching closely as Haechan spins around getting behind you. He places a hand on your hip as you lightly bend over running a hand over your neck.

You looked down right seductive. Doyoung hated it. Why is haechan on you like that?

You and haechsn smiles at each other cheering

“Ah thanks haechan. I needed the help” you say smiling

“Of course, Anytime” haechan says

Doyoung gets up with a smirk on his face and that’s when you finally noticed him

“Youngdo” you say

“Yn” he says

“What’re you doing here?” You ask

“Practice. Got here a little early. Is Haechan your new thing if the week?” He asks with a smirk. You roll your eyes putting on your things

“Doyoung. Shut the fuck up sometimes. You make no sense” you say scoffing

Doyoungs smirk drops. You NEVER call him Doyoung. It was always Youngdo. You didn’t feel like putting up with his shit

“I don’t make sense?” He asks

“No. You don’t! Haechan being my new thing if the week? Shut the fuck up and grow the fuck up” you saying walking out the room leaving him stunned

Haechan walks over to him shaking his head.

“I don’t understand your problem with her” he says

“I wouldn’t necessarily say I have a problem” Doyoung says

“I definitely would. You act like you hate her” Haechan says

“I wouldn’t say hate, but we just don’t get along” he says shrugging

“No. Your hard on her for no reason. You basically called her a Hoe without saying it” Haechan says making Doyoung’s mouth drop

“I didn’t-I did didn’t I” Doyoung says with a sigh

“I think you should apologize” Haechan says

“As if she’d accept it” Doyoung mumbles

“You don’t know that! Go apologize or I’ll smack you” Haechan says flinching at Doyoung

“Fine I’m going! I’m going! You better cover for me”Doyoung says

“Yeah yeah whatever, you just better apologize to my bestie” haehcan says stuffing his mouth with chips

You dump the vegetables that you just cut up into the pan. Sunshine by Steve lacy blasted on your Alexa echo dot. You quietly sung the lyrics as you stirred the vegetables.

Just then the song got quiet as Alexa announced that you had a message

“From my peach… I’m outside open the door please”

You turn the heat down before walking over to the door to open it

“I thought you had pract- why are you here?” You ask surprised to see Doyoung

“C-can I come in? It’s drizzling” he says making you roll your eyes. You open the door wider for him to walk in.

“I’ll go get you a towel” you say walking away to the closet grabbing a towel and haechans clothes. You walk back to him handing him the small pile.

“Thanks” he mumbles before heading to the bathroom. You walk back over to the stove to finish your cooking. A few moments later Doyoung walks out with a serious look on his face.

“When Haechan texted me and said he was outside I was expecting him…not you” you say throwing a look over your shoulder

“Yeah I know. I have my reasons though” he mumbles

“Mhm…hungry?” You ask

“Uh yeah” he says rubbing his hand together nervously.

You place the plate of food on the table in front of him along with a water bottle.

“Thank you” Doyoung says making you nod.You stand on the opposite side of the table as Doyoung digs in

“So why are you here?” You ask

“I Uh wanted to apologize” he says making you raise an eyebrow but shortly you roll your eyes

“Doyoung I don’t have time for you half ass apologizes. Your just going to take it back anyway” you say walking away from him

He gets up from the table quickly following you grabbing your arm. You look back at him with a questionable look

“No! It’s nothing like that Yn I promise! I really do want to apologize” he says making you relax

“I’m listening” you say folding your arms

“What I’m trying to say is…I’m sorry and I was wrong. I wasn’t trying to be rude or mean I was just messing around like usual. I didn’t mean to hurt you nor do I mean to hurt you” he says

“Well you do. I don’t get why you hate me” you say shrugging

“I don’t hate you…I thought you hated me” Doyoung mumbles

“I don’t hate you Doyoung. You just don’t give me the time of day. It’s like I’m your enemy” you say sighing

“I-I don’t want it to be like that anymore” Doyoung mumbles catching you by surprise.

“And what do you mean by that?” You ask with a raised brow

“I-I want to date y-you” he says

You couldn’t tell if he was being serious or just playing. You were waiting for him to laugh and say he’d never date a person like you. But it never came. He just looked at you with hopeful eyes.

You scoff rolling your eyes.

“Doyoung I don’t have time for your games. I’m to stressed about my performance to be playing games with you” you say

You hadn’t noticed that he gotten up from his chair to stand in front of you

“This isn’t a game Yn” he says ever so calmly. He almost felt… vulnerable.

“So what is it?” You ask

“It’s serious” he says

Before you could open your mouth and respond his hand was on your cheek. You froze up looking into his eyes.

“W-what are you doing?” You ask

“I never meant to hurt you. I swear it. Can I please kiss you?” He asks

Your face got hot as your eyes flicked down to his lips. You look back up to his eyes before opening your mouth

“I-l-I Uh” was the only thing you could say. It could have been a joke. He would have ended it by now, right?

“Please Yn” he begs lowly. You just nod your head. Doyoung leans in connecting your lips to his in a soft kiss. It wasn’t rough. It wasn’t too much. It’s soft and gentle.

There was no denying that there was a connect between you two.

He pulls away putting his other hand on your cheek.

“I-I want to take you out on a date. Tomorrow at noon. I’m not busy and I know your not so there’s no getting out of this” he says causing you to blink at least four times

“Excuse me?” You ask

“If you don’t like me by the end of our date then I’ll leave you alone. I’ll act like we don’t even know each other but, if you do, you have to give me a chance” he says

You think on it short and hard. You nod your head before offering a small smile

“Okay. Tomorrow at noon” you say

Doyoung smiles before pulling you into a hug. Your arms stay by your side for a small amount of time before you wrap them around Doyoung

“Don’t make me regret this Youngdo” you say making him chuckle

“I won’t. I promise” he says rubbing your back in small circles.

#ambw fic #black reader #ambw #black girls are beautiful #black reader insert #kpop poc #kpop #x black reader #x black!reader #kpop imagines #nct x black reader

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celemee · 7 months

Note

I have a need. Gortash POV - seeing Raven for the first time since he went missing.

Now you've gone and made me need this too. Here. Gortash at his inauguration, some time after him and Raven have spoken. [AO3 link]

Pairing: Male Dark Urge x Enver Gortash, background Durge/Halsin Rating: Teen Warnings: Some violent thoughts, possessiveness and jealousy, no major warnings.

-------

Enver Gortash observes the aftermath of his inauguration, a trusted bodyguard and Grand Duke Ravengard at his side. Only few people approach him for small talk as the hours drag on — a sign of his success, no doubt — and so there's ample time to watch the party of four elves.

There's no denying his elation upon setting his eyes on a certain drow again, but something ugly stirs inside of him as well.

A stupendously large elf lays a hand on the love of Enver's life.

Not to be cut off or bitten.

No, Raven leans into the touch.

Raven, who was supposed to be his. The only person who had ever— something has to be done.

"Find out everything you can about that elf," Enver commands his guard through an unfaltering smile, nodding at the man whose hand still rests on Raven's shoulder.

The towering boyfriend soon skips out of Enver’s mind, to be dealt with later, as Raven looks back at him from across the room. Eyes holding nothing but confusion where affection used to be.

It seems the amnesia is genuine.

A part of Enver had wondered if Raven had voluntarily stepped down. Escaped him. Perhaps sensing the ring burning in Enver's pocket and bailing before the question could be posed.

But now the man breaks from his group, turning towards Enver with some hesitation. He darts a hand to his side, signalling his companions to stay back.

Enver waits with bated breath, preparing for the rejection of his earlier idea. If they can’t be allies… well, he knows what he must do.

But before he can bring the thought to its tragic conclusion, Raven speaks; "A moment of your time, Archduke?"

The honorific confirms it; he has truly forgotten. Still, a smile sneaks to his lips as he walks the man into the back room. Gesturing his anxious bodyguard and the Grand Duke to stay outside. Anticipation tingling in his neck.

"What were we, really?" Raven asks as soon as the door shuts behind them. Folding his arms over his chest. No preamble, no small talk. The confusion has given way to cool curiosity, so much like on the day they'd first met.

Yet, his body expresses ease. Perhaps a sense of belonging he doesn’t understand.

If only there was a shortcut to becoming what they were — Enver wants nothing more than to capture Raven’s lips in a bruising kiss. Sneak a hand beneath his clothes and start making up for the lost time. Welcome him home.

He hasn't even sold the ring.

But every word matters now, and every move is as good as ten of them. The lust and rage stay in their neat little corners, isolated from his level voice. "We were lovers."

Raven's brows furrow the slightest bit at that. He leans back against the wall and lets out a thoughtful hum. There's no disgust on his face, at least, and it takes a breath to banish the desire to grab him by the hips and pull. Make him remember.

"How long?"

"Five years."

There's a beat of silence. Nothing but a quiet inhale as the dawning realisation widens Raven's eyes, pushing through his projected calm.

"And how long did I resist you?"

Enver smiles at the memory. He’d picked up on Raven’s inexperience quickly and worn down his defences — but he’d been the one seduced, really. Moved into sharing his life, accepting the vulnerability for a greater gain. "A few weeks."

Raven chews on the inside of his cheeks, nodding slowly. His wordless language still the same as it ever was. Perhaps… Perhaps his body remembers what his mind has forgotten.

"Dine with me. Let me tell you about yourself," Enver smiles, pushing his hands behind himself and squeezing his fingers white. The spikes of his gauntlet digging into his palm.

'Let me tell you about us,' he doesn't say, but Raven seems to hear it nonetheless. Uncertainty shines in his eyes. He's quiet. Unmoving. Perhaps trying to say no, were it not for the part of him that still wants to say yes to Enver.

"Tonight?" Raven asks, biding time.

"Yes."

He'd make time tonight, tomorrow, any day — but Raven might talk himself out of this, and their alliance is a matter of urgency whether the man chooses it or not.

"All right," Raven responds at last, and clears his throat. He pushes off the wall to stand straight, summoning his composure. "When?"

"At ten. Come alone. I'll meet you downstairs." Enver fights to keep the hope from his voice, but it flares to life all the same.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #durgetash #enver gortash #the dark urge #the dark urge x enver gortash #goretash #oc: ravendras #my writing #baldur's gate

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drill-teeth · 1 year

Text

It’s genuinely so infuriating how little I see transmasc erasure acknowledged by people who don’t experience it.

Also, by the way before I get into this. Transmasc erasure is not the fault of transfem people, so do not say bad shit about transfems on my post.

That being said. I’m going to dig into this topic of transmasc erasure based on my experience. And being transmasc is not a monolith so like. Genuinely go out and find others talking about this. There have been many before me and there will be many more.

But like. The amount of transmasc people (including myself) I see who are basically told “oh you’re just a butch girl” is unacceptable. Like. People LOVE to go “masculinity is gross! it’s a curse bleh bleh I hate men!” without pausing to think that the painting of masculinity as inherently evil is a TERF talking point used to target all trans people. People love to go “you don’t really want to be a man”, but it’s like. Yes. I do, actually. I want to be a man. The problem is you have painted an evil caricature of “man” in your mind and applied it uncritically to literally everyone who is masculine. Is toxic masculinity real? Yes. Are there plenty of men who suck? Oh for sure. But that is not the point. I want to be a man. I want to redefine masculinity for myself in a way that’s healthy for everyone. The problem is this whole “men are evil” mentality kills all effort to do that. To redefine masculinity in a way that’s healthier for everyone.

And for the record. Transmasc people are oppressed. They are targeted in specific ways by anti-trans rhetoric. As a transmasc person, you do not get the privileges of being a man because transphobes do not see you as a man. You get all the disadvantages of being afab AND trans. You get all the “oh you’re just doing this for attention”, “you’re being overdramatic”, and “you’re throwing a fit for no reason” that every afab person gets on TOP of people pretending you don’t exist. Pretending you’re not a man because “no girl would ever want to be a man!”. You see all the “neckbeards are gross lmao”, “acne is nasty lol”, and “bald men are so ugly” jokes and shrivel up inside knowing people think major parts of your transition goal are undesirable. You never see yourself on TV. For me growing up, the closest I got to seeing someone who resembled me in media were characters who fit into the “effeminate gay predator villain” trope and that’s a whole painful thing to think about. The anti trans bills being passed right now affect transmascs.

I don’t really have a good way to end this, so I’ll just say this.

Transmasc people I love you. Fat transmascs, disabled transmascs, poc transmascs, transmascs who pass, transmascs who don’t or can’t pass, transmascs who don’t want to pass, neurodivergent transmascs, transmascs with neckbeards, transmascs with acne, transmascs who are balding, transmascs with boobs, all transmascs. I love you. You and your pain and joy all exists, and for all of us I hope the world sees us more as we are.

You can all reblog this btw. No infighting and no derailing unless you want a block from me.

#otto thoughts #transgender #transmasc #tw: transphobia

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gunkbaby · 18 days

Note

Top 5 books ^_^

Horrendous bookish rambling ahead! Also fair warning some of the stuff I read has a tw.

Annihilation by Jeff Vandermeer - I love this book. The whole SR series. Altered my brain chemistry. It’s a biological cosmic horror written in the most wonderful way. I have so much love in my heart for the protagonist - it was reading a book from my own perspective, I related to her so badly. I felt so seen by her. She’s second to Shuu for me. I love Jeff Vandermeer, I think he’s a truly a remarkably underrated artist especially in the horror genre. There was a film made of the book, but whilst both the book and the film deal with the same theme and have the same premise, they are different stories with different characters. Both worth looking into.

by Chandler Morrison - a very raw depiction of eating disorders. I was genuinely shocked to see this was written by a cis man, because it was such a raw, real showcase of what having an eating disorder is like. All the ugly parts, the genuine horror of it as a concept. It is the best representation of eating disorders I’ve yet to read. It pains me to not have this in print. I have Dead Inside by Chandler Morrison too, which I also really liked - but TW it’s a satirical extreme horror novel and there’s lots of gross stuff in it. But thighgap is very dear to me. Obviously huge TW if you check this one out. <3

Tender Is The Flesh by Augustina Bazterrica - Tokyo Ghouls fans might like this! Maybe. This is about a dystopian world where a ‘disease’ has spread to most of the animals of the world, crucially farm animals, which ultimately leads to the farming and breeding of the only safe meat left - human.. The protagonist is someone that basically manages several of the farms/factories (i can’t exactly remember), and he is gifted one of the farmed humans, which he keeps as a pet. It’s a very twisted novel, and so full of depth and moral questioning - all the characters in this book have great depth, and I really enjoy that. It’s never written as a simple ‘thing bad’, and I really find that valuable, especially these days. A lot of people pass this book off as vegan propaganda (very interesting take it u read certain parts of the book btw), and I’m not going to say the take is invalid, but I do think it is quite a reductive, surface-level analysis of the book. Really worth sinking ur teeth into. :)

Earthlings by Sayaka Murata - either this one or Convience Store Woman are excellent novels. Murata is one of my favourite authors. I have all three of her current releases. Earthlings is really hard to explain, but just bc the material is sensitive - tw for CSA and i guess incest? There’s cannibalism but we’re tg fans im not tagging that lmao. This book very much deals with childhood trauma and its effects, sadly very relatable. It’s a painful read, but I found it so dreadfully validating. Sayaka Murata as an author does that. One thing to note about Murata, is that she really does write about neurodivergence and asexuality in a very interesting way, I think especially for a Japanese author. Convience Store Woman is also wonderful, again dealing with neurodivergence, asexuality, being aromantic, and living a happy ‘unsuccessful’ life that the general world deems disappointing. Convience Store Woman is probably a better started than Earthlings, though I love them both. I highly rate her as an author.

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoyevsky - Okay, so it’s Dostoyevsky, i don’t need to explain why it’s good. This is one of the more underrated of his works, I feel. I love Dostoyevsky generally as an author, I like Crime & Punishment, Notes From Underground is on my tbr, so is Demons, I’ve read parts of The Brothers Karamazov , but this book specifically is very beautiful to me. I feel like sometimes people understate the optimism that can be found in works by authors like Dostoyevsky, and this book is paramount to that optimism. My God, do I need to reread it.

Sorry 4 rambling! Some other books I like a lot are Watership Down, Battle Royale, Fifteen Dogs, Social Creature, and Hot Milk. I like too many books to list, my god! This is why Goodreads is a godsend! I’m planning on making a Tokyo Ghoul reading list at some point, maybe!

#ty for the ask <3 #ask games #ty #book bunk #Books #ask again. Yes.

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krysta-cross · 4 months

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Heyo moots, I hope you still remember me after being away for too long.

Life has just been hard on me lately that I lost interest on almost everything up until now.

I am still fixing stuff here and hope it will turn out well so I can move on from all the pain I have endured for the last few months…

I can’t go into details yet but it’s a long road to recovery and am glad that there are still people who genuinely loves and cares about me and is willing to help me get over everything that has happened and will happen.

Attaching an ugly selfie taken today as proof of life even if I feel dead inside 🥹

As to when I will resume activity, maybe next month or so, we’ll see—

#krysta’s life updates #alive but dead inside

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feverinfeveroutfic · 6 months

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kinktober all year, 2024

i’m so sorry, but-

it had to be done.

after the fiasco of kinktober 2023, and i had to regroup with blood and wine, i am continuing to lick my wounds from the humiliation. i mean, a genuinely kinky person was all around ignored during a kink-fest, like nothing about that makes any sense whatsoever. worse, i don’t even know why i was ignored; i mean, i have my theories but they’re all hard to confirm. i really don't understand why i was given such a cold shoulder this year when i dropped the first one shot.

it’s supposed to be a community and yet, i saw right away that it isn’t. “don’t ‘yuck’ someone’s ‘yum’” feels like a naïve joke at this point because all i could think leading up to the 18th when i pulled the plug was “gee, sorry i’m not good and sexy enough for you guys. i’m terribly sorry that this is torturous for you, there's literally nothing i can do about it so i'll see myself out before this is done so you don't have to be exposed to my bullshit for a while.”

god, my sexuality is just… it’s too much. it’s way too much and i feel trapped inside of it. i'm helpless to rid of it even as i genuinely hate it so much. i genuinely wish i didn't have a sexuality because it's useless. no one likes it or wants to know about it. i’m way too much. i'm too kinky and yet i'm not sexual enough. all dressed up with nowhere to go.

and yet, i can’t let them win. these totally unsexy, borderline gross, borderline sexist, pregnancy-loving scoundrels who inexplicably dominated this year couldn’t write a compelling story if it saved the world; they cannot continue to act like they're the only ones who can do it. there has to be a place for me; there just has to be. i may hate my sexuality more than anything and find it ugly and disgusting and i'm pretty sure it's the last thing you'll ever see before you die, but it’s like the inevitability of death: you can’t escape it. plus, after the last couple of months, i don’t really need some hundreds of people to kiss my ass to feel like the queen of kinktober: i don’t need fandom, and i don’t think i ever have needed it, either.

so, i give you kinktober all year.

now, just to make it easier on myself—mainly because i honestly have no clue how 2024 will play out (it could be the worst year of my life for all i know, especially if this year was anything to go by), but also because i have wips to write—these will be sent out on a weekly basis starting new year's day, giving us a grand total of 52 one shots. aside from the first one, i’ll keep the prompts a surprise just to keep my very personal preferences to myself, but i will give away titles, though. i'll also keep the participants under wraps until i post them for the same reason (you know alex will be in like... one or two, though).

yes, this is going on ao3 because i’ve been getting really, really tired of tumblr and really all social media lately. no, i don’t care if you join me or not because it’s a holistic thing that’s really just meant for myself; you can if you want, though. “i’m not like them, but i can pretend.”

“the wandering jew” (this one, i've already shared; it's my water kink)

“django tango”

“heroin”

“five minutes”

“corduroy”

“poison ivy”

“chillblains”

“he’s gotta have it”

“bats in the attic”

“midnight rambler”

“pebble beach”

“chiaroscuro”

“this kiss”

“disco volante”

“seashells”

“deer in the headlights”

“scarlet”

“walk with me”

“have a cigar”

“poison whiskey”

“i think i lost my headache”

“touch too much”

“pearly dew drops”

“still crazy after all these years”

“enjoy every sandwich”

“let’s talk about cars”

“twin flames”

“as serious as a heart attack”

“trial by fire”

“he didn’t”

“flannel”

“side street”

“be with me”

“heart and lungs”

“dodge the bambula”/“jackin’ it in san diego"

“the razor’s edge”

“she likes surprises”

“black coral”

“black nightshade”

“seduce and destroy”

“pick a number”

“all that glitters”

“…like clockwork”

“sabra cadabra”

“world of brass”

“every night i burn”

“one of these nights”

“aquamarine”

“the beast”

“dream with me”

“dionysus”

“time has come today”

#kinktober #kinktober masterlist #kinktober prompts #kinktober all year #testament #testament band #anthrax #anthrax band #anthrax fanfic #testament fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #kink tag #kink tumblr #kink content #text

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meetmeinthefamilyvideo · 1 year

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Hey! I know it's late but in the spirit of Christmas I was wondering if you could do a Tom x Latina reader one where Tom and y/n are having their first Christmas together as a couple and they both are visiting each other's families and and it would be cool to see Tom react to the all the Christmas customs that we do like such as we don't celebrate Christmas on the 25th but rather on the 24th and Tom shows y/n what his family does as well

Switched it a little but enjoy xx

December 21st…

“Tom! Come here please” you scream.

You quickly hear your boyfriends footsteps reach your bedroom and he sneaks in to attend to your calling.

“What’s up darling?” He asks.

“Why are you not packed? We’re leaving tomorrow!” You respond sternly, looking at the suitcase in front of them.

He’s very confused, “but I am packed?” He points to the clothes inside said suitcase.

“Those are all casual pieces, where are your Christmas clothes?” you’re genuinely concerned, it’s your first Christmas together and you’re spending it with your parents.

He unfolds an ugly (emphasis on the ugly) Christmas sweater and gives you an unsure smile. You blink.

“What the fuck is that? Aren’t you wearing that for the airport on the way to your parents?” You sigh, “this is another gringo thing right? You don’t do Nochebuena and you wear ugly clothes on Christmas? I can’t have you looking plain at my family dinner!” You ramble on.

“Babe first of all im British, and second of all my family does celebrate Christmas dinner on the 24th! We just dress in the same fashion as in the 25th. I didn’t know we were going to a fancy place for nochibuina but I totally get it, why don’t you help me pick something and tell me this place we’re going to!” he responds trying to calm you down since you seem stressed out.

You raise an eyebrow, “we’re going to my parents house, what do you mean?”

Tom spent the rest of the evening learning how your family spends Christmas and their customs, you showed him the red cocktail dress you were wearing to what you all call “la sala” (the living of your home) with a huge smile on your face. Listening to you rambling on he understood how important all of it is to all of you. So on December 24th at 9pm Tom sat down at a dinner table for 30 people, wearing slacks and a button up shirt. He participated in each and every custom, because the smile on your face was the greatest gift he could ask for.

#for when you need some tom in your life #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland x hispanic!reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader

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nayatarot777 · 1 year

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wednesday 1st feb 2023 ~ Collective Reading

hi collective! hope you’re having a good day.

i’m seeing that today would be a good day to give some love to the darker aspects of ourselves - or rather whatever we consider that to be. it could be the parts of ourselves that we feel have been demonised or shamed - and i feel like it’s primarily about self love. that might sound like a strange message but many of us have been shamed for showing ourselves love and care, especially through making ourselves look good in order to feel good. miserable people who are ugly on the inside (and who probably feel ugly physically too) have thrown jealous ass, hating ass energy towards us over the course of our lives for doing what they can’t bring themselves to do. however that’s their problem. for them to even be threatened by us, they must’ve seen beauty in us in the first place right? something that they don’t feel like they could ever have. which is why these bitches didn’t want us to see that within ourselves. because they knew that if we did recognise it, we’d be untouchable. now’s the time to identify it again though. look in the mirror for a good minute or two (or three or four - however long you want to 😂) and try to see your physical state of being from your higher self’s perspective. remember that beautiful, cute ass infant child that you were (and still are in many aspects?). you’re them - but just grown now. would you call them ugly or nit pick at their appearance? hopefully not. it’s a disservice to do that to yourself because you ARE them. they haven’t gone anywhere and neither has your internal and physical beauty. people have just clouded your view from it with their bs and fuckery. if you could go back in time, you’d never tell your 5 year old self that they’re going to grow up to be ugly would you? no. you’d let them know that they’re going to grow into the prettiest/most beautiful/handsome person to walk this fucking Earth. and guess what? you’re the physical embodiment of that now. practice some self love - physically and in terms of emotional + mental care. this doesn’t even have to be anything drastic. try to get out of bed and shower if that’s something that you still need to do. or eat. or watch a movie. make some tea. read a book. bop to your favourite music in your room alone - and do all of this mindfully. there’s an extra message to also love and honour your anger. your anger is your protector and you may be feeling guilty for projecting it onto someone who deserved it. don’t be. again, if your inner child was provoked to anger and ended up reacting to that, would you expect them to beat themselves up about it? no. maybe their toxic ass parents would. or toxic ass teachers, bullies, and “friends” would. the provokers and perpetrators of mistreatment - but who gives a fuck about what they think when they’re the types of people who choose to deal with their personal issues in the form of abuse, mistreatment, and suppression of others? they’re not who we should be listening to, and i feel like many of us still have their ugly ass voices echoing in our minds whenever we exercise our human right to feel and express emotions. or to feel good about ourselves. you don’t deserve punishment. they’re the ones who made you feel less-than and ugly because they were threatened by you. nobody’s threatened by people who they don’t believe holds more power than them, right? they tried to dilute our power but it’s time to find it again. even if it makes you feel “egotistical” or “selfish”. there are abusive motherfuckers walking this earth with the biggest, narcissistic egos you’ve ever seen. if they can have a “healthy” or big ego, so can you - someone with a genuine heart and good intentions (unless crossed 🙃) who just wants better for themselves and others.

#pick a card #psychic readings #pick a photo #pac #tarot reading #divination #tarot #pick a picture #spirituality #pac reading #collective reading #intuitive #daily tarot #tarot cards #tarotcommunity #free tarot #naya tarot collective #tarotdaily

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