#there is not a single reason for this other than self indulgence. and yes. you can probably expect more as I replay these games | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thegnomelord · 2 months

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Good Dog

CW: NSFW, DARK-FIC, murder, gore, power imbalance, size difference(reader's bigger), description of torture and brainwashing, oral, anal, blood as lube, plot and exposition with porn, pet play(collars and leashes), toxic relationship, dub-con, very very self indulgent.

Моя гончая- my hound, Хороший солдат - good soldier, Расслабьтесь, братья мои - relax, my brothers, приносить - fetch, есть - eat

The thick door and walls of the private room do nothing to damped the bass of the club pounding in his ears, the annoying music made bearable by the high of a recent victory. Puffs of cigarette smoke lazily curl in the air as Makarov leans further back into the couch, the buzzing sting of a fresh tattoo helping him relax. The scent of expensive liquor only adds to the heady atmosphere, crystal clear vodka swirling in his glass before Makarov takes a sip. His dark eyes peer over the rim of his glass, like doorways to a dark abyss, his gaze dancing across the faces of his most trusted men before settling on the lieutenant's as the man tries to prove his worth with pointless words.

Above all else, Makarov values loyalty.

It doesn't matter how strong a man is if he can't follow orders. The number of soldiers he can lead is pointless when he can't keep his men alive. How well he can shoot is meaningless when he can't devote himself to a cause. A man who is disloyal is a man of single use.

Makarov doesn't even try to listen to whatever drivel the lieutenant's spouting, he doesn't see a reason to sour his mood when he already knows everything: the embezzling, the lying, the adorable double agent act. He has you to thank for that, you'd sniffed the lieutenant out the second you met him, diligently uncovering every speck of dirt the lieutenant had attempted to hide from Makarov.

And you? You are very loyal. His loyal hound.

His fingers curl around the leash, the smooth black leather sliding against his calloused palms. A barely there tug is all it takes for you to lean down over the back of the couch, bracing one large hand near his head for support as the other remains over the grip of your sidearm. You loom over him, and while Makarov may be a fearsome man, he can't deny the type of foreboding fear a goliath like you inspires — a towering figure always a step behind him, broad body big enough to easily cover him fully if you need to take a bullet for him, arms strong and palms wide to easily crack a man's skull.

Settling the glass down he takes another drag of his cigarette, "Hound," Another tug — sharper, harsher; such a small correction yet the fact you needed it at all has acrid disappointment burning on your tongue — makes you bend down more, your face now next to his. He doesn't draw attention to the reprimand, breathing out a puff of smoke near your face. "Were you listening, моя гончая?"

It's a pointless question, he knows you were listening, he trained you to. But he asks because he loves to see the way your eyes darken, jaw tight. The cigarette smoke dances in the air, making the club's low lights reflect off the sharp spikes adorning the thick collar snuggly wrapped around your throat. Your day collar suits you well, no different than the spiked collars put on hunting hounds.

"Yes sir." You answer, your attention now solely on the lieutenant.

Makarov hums, eyes flickering from the lieutenant to you. "And?" He chuckles and lets the leash go, his word keeping you in place as he casually pats your neck. "What did you hear?"

"Lies. . ." The slow slide of his fingers across the uncovered parts of your throat makes your breath stutter, static crackling beneath your skin. "I heard lies, sir." Your answer causes the lieutenant to try and sputter excuses and denials, all cut short by the harsh look you give him.

Makarov chuckles, hooking a finger over the silver loop at the front of your collar, pulling on it and tilting his head so his lips can ghost across your jaw. "Хороший солдат." Makarov murmurs. His stubble scratches your skin as his lips brush a path to your ear, so very close to a lover's kiss.

But a brush of skin is all it is. Nothing more. Your body earns for more, to turn your head and experience the bruising possessiveness of his kiss once again, to feel his teeth bite down on your lip until blood floods both of your mouths. But you don't move; A spoiled dog isn't loyal and Makarov won't lavish you with attention for nothing. no — you must earn it.

"Stay." The soft 'click' of the leash unclipping sounds the same as a sentencing gavel, the strip of leather falling away until only his word keeps you from tearing the lieutenant's throat out with your teeth. Makarov smirks against your skin, his words honey sweet to your ears as he whispers: "Sick him."

That seals the ex-lieutenant's fate.

You're on the lieutenant in an instant, crashing into him like a truck. Makarov leans back and lights up another cigarette as you stomp down on the man's leg, all the weight you carry around bearing down on his bones until they break, erasing any foolish thoughts of escape when you snap the bones of his other ankle; Makarov has truly taught you well.

The screams of a traitor are much better than the atrocious club music, letting him enjoy the smooth burn of the vodka as another stomp breaks a couple of ribs. Some of his men are still nervous around you, trying not to shuffle in their seats lest they grab your attention and become the new outlet of your violence.

"Расслабьтесь, братья мои." Makarov gives a charming smile, resting his ankle on his knee as he takes another drag. "Hound is well trained, you have nothing to fear." He chuckles, lazily watching you as he holds conversation with his lieutenants. Honestly, you're like a dog with a new toy, tossing the man around and pinning him down under your heavy body, each swing of your fists steadily turning the ex-lieutenant's face into pulp.

It's as entertaining for him as it is therapeutic for you.

And to think Price had tried to suppress all that beautiful savageness you possessed.

Makarov remembers how you'd been nothing but a snarling and cursing ball of anger when his men had captured you after a botched mission. He had been both annoyed and amused by how loyal you were to Price, weathering every beating and starving and humiliation with the same 'fuck you' response, baring your teeth like the cornered dog you were. With days turning to months and your resolve refusing to waver under their 'care' Makarov had considered just putting you down, sending a nice video of blowing your skull open to Price but oh — is he glad he decided to indulge in the game your stubbornness presented.

He set out to train you like he would any mongrel mutt, clear expectations making it easy to tell whether your actions would get you a reward or an even worse punishment, giving small rewards for the behavior he wanted; not snarling at him might earn you a better meal. Biting your lip and taking your beating without back talk could get you a couple of minutes outside the claustrophobic walls of your cell. Letting him touch and inspect your body without complaint might reward you with a book or some other little creature comfort he could, and did, easily take away the moment you stepped out of line.

Of course you were weary, perceptive enough to know when he was scheming. But every man has his limits, yours were simply reached when he handed you official C.I.A documents proclaiming you as K.I.A, the mission itself creatively rewritten to sound like you had gone and deserted to the enemy — no one was looking for you, no one was coming to save you, your captain, Price, wasn't coming to save you.

He had taken great enjoyment in running his fingers across your scalp as you clutched the documents in a white knuckled grip, your mind far too worn down to question or guard against the soft touches. His lips had brushed against your ear, soothingly raspy voice comforting you — you're a good soldier, strong, reliable, everything a commander could dream of. It wasn't your fault you trusted the wrong man, truly, what a shame to have your loyalty repaid with betrayed like that.

After that, it became laughably easy to train you. He stuck with simple commands, spoken only in Russian so he could amuse himself with the way your head would tilt before you'd perk up, recognition making your dull eyes brighten before you did what he wanted in exchange for a small scrap of his affection, learning to seek his praise and appreciate his touch even when your body still prickled with disgust. So when he handed you the knife, standing so close you could have easily slit his throat, and ordered you to kill another member of your previous taskforce, you hadn't hesitated for a second. "Good boy." He had purred, caressing your jaw as he used his thumb to wipe away the blood staining your cheek.

"Hound." His voice is as effective as any physical tug on your leash, making you stop mid punch with your fist inches away from the ex-lieutenant's caved in face. You're covered in blood, the rich crimson bringing out the violence swirling in your eyes.

Yet you look at him with utter adoration he wants to shove his cock deep down your throat just so he can see your tears smudge the blood on your cheeks. "Приносить." He taps his thigh.

You nod your head, grabbing the knife strapped to your thigh. There's no hesitation in your movements as you shove the knife into the ex-lieutenant's throat. An arc of blood spurts across your front when you yank it out just to stab another spot, the man coughing and choking as you cut through cartilage and muscle until with a good yank and a sickening 'crack!' you separate the head from the body.

Makarov had never seen the appeal of large hulking brutes until you — your body had filled back out with muscle and fat nicely after you became his, towering body demanding attention simply by existing as you stand up. The loud stomp of your feet and the blood staining your body making you look like a barbarian, casting a shadow over him before you kneel at his feet, offering the decapitated head as a knight does to his king.

Oh yes, he definitely sees the appeal now.

"Good dog." He purrs, reaching out to stroke your jaw, smearing some of the blood with his thumb. Fingers sliding down to hook on the silver ring on your collar he pulls your head closer. "Do you think you earned a reward?"

It's a test. One you're intimately familiar with. The judgmental stares of Makarov's trusted men are the last thing in your mind when the closeness of his body and the sharp crisp scent of his cologne threatens to shatter your resolve. "Only if you permit it, sir." Your throat feels dry, trying not to show how eager you are for his attention as you place the head on the floor so you don't get a drop of blood on him.

Makarov smirks, "Smart dog," His hands move to the back of your neck, unbuckling the collar. You're no longer ashamed to admit you feel naked as the thick piece of leather is pulled away; the time when you didn't have a collar wrapped around your neck feel like a distant memory and now the sensation of breathing without it pressing against your skin is disturbing. You have to bite your lip to keep the low whine from escaping your chest.

His hand wraps securely around your throat, bringing your breath back to you. Your Adam's apple bobs beneath his fingers as he traces the 'V.M' shallowly carved across your throat. "It's already starting to fade." He tuts, squeezing his fingers to restrict your breathing just the slightest bit more. "We'll need to have it tattooed. That would be nice, yes?"

You suck in a sharp breath, "Yes sir."

"Хороший солдат." He purrs. He pulls out another collar from his pocket and you feel yourself chub up in your pants just at the sight of it. It's the chained pronged one he uses exclusively when he wants you to pleasure him, particularly because it leaves such pretty bruises along your skin when he tugs on the leash.

You eagerly tilt your head back to bare your throat, a shudder rushing down your spine as soon as you feel the cold metal against your skin. You stay perfectly still as he secures around your neck, the sharp pull of the leash making the prongs dig into your skin, prickles of pain making you even harder. "Go on," Makarov hums, spreading his legs wider so your attention falls to the hard bulge in his slacks, his belt undone but the rest left to you. "есть."

You don't think you could enjoy servicing him as much as you did if he didn't let you work for it, the reward made sweeter because you earned it. Truly, he's so good to you, you'd thank him profusely but he hasn't given you permission to speak freely. So you lean in, careful not to get blood on his pants as you take the metal zipper between your teeth and pull it down. You've done this enough not to have any problems undoing the button, your hands obediently planted on your thighs and your gaze firmly on him so you can see the pleased smirk that spreads across his features when you bite the band of his boxers and pull them down until his cock springs out, already hard.

A pleased sigh escapes him when your warm lips wrap around the head of his cock, the leash wrapped firmly around his hand and the slightest tug on it has pain prickling down your spine. "Моя гончая, don't waste my time." You can't help but whine lowly at the admonishment, quickly trying to make up to him by sucking on the tip and licking the slit in just the way he likes it.

His leg shifts, hard boot coming up to grind the sole against your clothed cock. "That's better." The praise makes you moan deep from your chest and try to take more of his cock into your mouth, your boxers wet and sticky against your own cock as you give an experimental hump of your hips against his boot. You scrape your teeth along the vein on the underside of his cock and it earns you a rough grind of his boot. His hand tangles in your bloodied hair and pulls you down until his cock bumps the back of your throat.

You nearly choke from the sudden pressure, trying to fight off the reflex to pull back and gag. "Look at me." His order rings clear in your head, your eyes meeting his as he grinds your nose into his pubic hair, tears prickling the corners of your eyes as your lungs start to burn. You fight through it, the fluttering of your throat making him five a small, rough, moan and fuck — you're hard as a rock.

Just as you feel like you'll pass out on his cock he lets you off, yanking your head back. You're only given a few seconds to take a sharp breath of fresh air before he pushes your head back down. You're prepared this time, hollowing your cheeks and relaxing your throat, swallowing around his hard cock. The way you suck Makarov off is wet and sloppy, stealing ragged breaths when you can as you trace the veins of his cock with your tongue and gently nibble on the base when his cock's fully sheathed in your throat, knowing exactly how to please him. Your efforts are rewarded with the salty taste of precum on your tongue, hearing him occasionally mutter his praises in Russian, none of his words snagging on your mind like sharp orders so you let yourself drift in the pleasure of servicing him, subconsciously grinding your cock into his foot.

But you're not mentally gone enough not to notice the squeaking of chairs, your body tensing as you pull up enough so only his head remains in your mouth, your head turned just enough to throw a sharp glare at the other men in the room. Makarov having his guard down like this makes you tense, violence buzzing beneath your skin from the ingrained need to protect him.

"Hound." Makarov's growl is followed by another sharp tug of the leash, the dull ache of the metal prongs digging into your skin dissipating some of your aggression. "Did I tell you to stop?"

You shake your head as best you can, a pathetic whine escaping your chest from the way the pain makes your cock even harder. Satisfied, he eases the leash, letting you return to your work. His head lolls back, lazily looking at his men. He couldn't care less who sees you like this, but now he wants your full attention on him. "Leave." He gives the simple command.

You track the sound of shuffling feet as you take him fully into your mouth, making him hiss a curse under his breath. Nuzzling your nose into his curly pubic hair you breathe in his musk, his heel grinding firmly and consistently against your hard cock, pleasure pulsing through your veins with such intensity you're worried you'll cum without permission, low whines escaping your throat.

He pulls you off him suddenly, your lungs burning as you gasp for air. You expect him to paint your face with his cum, stake an obvious ownership over you. But he doesn't, pulling you by the leash and leaning down to mash your lips together, teeth biting down on your lip until it bleeds.

Makarov's kisses are rough and demanding, the sweet drug your body's been craving, teeth clicking together and tongues swirling in each other's mouths. The firm grind of his boot against your crotch makes you moan lowly, a sound he happily swallows down and nearly shoves his tongue down your throat. You part far too soon, your body craving much much more, but he doesn't let you stew in the disappointment of a short kiss — it's an owner's responsibility to spoil his pet — mumbling against your lips. "Prepare me."

A full shudder runs down your spine and you surge to follow his order. Makarov loves the determined look you get in your eye just as much as he loves the rough way you grip his hips and hike them up so you can pull his pants and boxers down his legs. Your bloodied fingers grip his hips and pull them down until his ass hangs off the edge of the couch, throwing his legs over your shoulders and he can feel the muscles deep in his back strain as you nearly bend him in half, his hard cock and hole bared for you.

It's a vulnerable position, trapped between your bulky frame and the couch he has no way to escape. And if anyone else were to attempt this he would feed every inch of their flesh to themselves. But Makarov relishes the knowledge that he's in control, a single word from him would make you stop regardless of how hard and wanting you were, your loyalty to him as real as the dead man's blood you dip your fingers in to lube them.

Your fingers circle his hole before you press the pad of your finger against it. Without the heat of battle the cold viscousness of the blood feels disgusting, making him shiver and his rim flutter against your digit. But the discomfort is easily forgotten when you apply pressure, the steady and persistent way you push your finger in forcing his muscles to yield. "Shit-" Makarov clenches his teeth; your fingers are so large just one feels like two of his own, the gnawing pain of your finger pushing deeper just amplifying the pleasure of being stretched open and your other hand loosely stroking his wet cock.

You don't go slower than you need to, perfectly trained to know how to move your fingers to keep him teetering on the edge between pleasure and pain, each shift and slow drag of your finger pulling deep grunt and soft breaths from between his clenched teeth. "Yes, there you go." His praise makes your heart melt and cock throb in your pants, the pull of the leash bringing your lips together in another harsh kiss. You swallow his moans greedily, pushing a second finger in and curling them in search of his prostate, your thumb incessantly rubbing the space between his balls and ass to trap the spongy flesh between your fingers.

He nearly chokes you with how hard he yanks on the leash, hips pushing back into your hand and walls clenching down on your fingers. The stinging ache of being stretched open mixes with the building pleasure, leaving his skin feeling like a live wire. His teeth dig into your lip until it bleeds again, heels digging into your back. He grinds his hips down on your fingers, muttering praises against your lips as you push a third finger in and force him to take it.

He can't wait any more, gripping your hair and roughly yanking your head back. "Fuck me already." He growls, licking the blood staining your cheek.

You scramble to do as you're told, continuing to stretch him open as you undo your belt and pants with one hand, your hard cock bobbing against your abdomen. Pulling your fingers out you scoop up more blood, the cold helping reign in your lust as you lube up.

Before you can do anything he reaches out to grip the base of your cock, his hold firm and just at the cusp of pain. "You'll be good, yes?" He growls against your lips. "Fuck me good and hard?" His hand moves, stroking you slowly, evenly coating the blood along your cock. "I don't need to show you how to use this thing again, do I?" There's a dangerous edge in his voice.

Fear shoots down your spine, mouth going dry. You'd been too eager for human touch when he first let you mount him, and when you came seconds after getting inside him he'd been less than pleased by your abilities. You couldn't feel your cock for a full week after he'd tied you down and used your cock until you couldn't cum, using a cock ring to keep you hard and using you until he was satisfied.

You quickly shake your head. "No sir," You choke out and bare your throat. "I can do it, I'll be good." You promise.

His hold loosens, tugging you by the hair so he can peck your lips, his tongue licking over the small wound he'd made. "Don't fail me now."

You steel yourself like you're going to war, pressing your cockhead to his hole. Your nails dig into his hip, your grip ironclad to keep him still as you pull him down more and simultaneously push in. There's a second of resistance before your head pops in, the pleasure of entering his velvet soft insides being met with sharp pain as his teeth chomp down on your shoulder through your shirt. It all mixes in your brain into pure bliss, your hips bucking up into him automatically until you're bottomed out. You hold him close to you and leisurely grind your hips, letting him get used to the mind numbing stretch.

Fuck— Makarov may see the appeal of brutes but impaled on your cock he feels like he's being split in two, lungs burning and he can almost swear your tip's poking his diaphragm. He chases the pain more than the pleasure, heels digging into your back to give him some leverage so he can push his hips into yours. "Yes," His head lolls back when you slowly withdraw, only to suddenly snap your hips and hilt yourself inside him again. "-fuck, yes!"

The blood keeps you from tearing him apart but there's too little of it to keep him from feeling the painful stretch, the slow movement of your hips making his thighs shake. "Harder," He demands, yanking on your leash and biting your shoulder again. "Make me feel it." His voice is rough with a demand, because men like him never beg.

"Yes sir," You manage, bracing your feet and setting a rough pace, rutting into him like an animal. He muffles his sounds into your shoulder as your cock saws into him, his walls fluttering and clenching around you so tightly it feels like he'll snap your cock off. You do your best to focus on him and his pleasure, but the tight heat of his hole is rapidly melting any control you have, your cock throbbing and leaking precum inside him.

"Sir, please-" You whine, your muscles tight and your balls feeling so full you feel like you'll burst, your voice full of need. "I'm so close."

“Not yet.” He growls, pushing his hips down to meet your thrusts, your hand stroking his cock. “Make me cum first.” He growls.

You hold back a pathetic whine and redouble your efforts, your rough thrusts bruising his ass as you fuck into him, aiming to nail his prostate every time you bottom out. He wails, whole body shaking, his cock throbbing in your hand and leaking a puddle of precum on his stomach.

Makarov cums without any warning, going rigid and biting your shoulder even harder as pearly cum shoots from his tip, his walls clamping down on your cock. "C- cum!" He snarls, voice muffled, and it's all you need. Bottoming out fully you moan as you shoot his insides full of your cum, rocking your hips and grinding your cock against his prostate to prolong both of our highs.

You hold him close as you come down to reality but the way his walls clench around your cock makes you feel like heaven. His hands grip your jaw, bringing you down into a disorganized sloppy kiss. He's boneless in your arms, his walls continuing to flutter around you. "That was good." He slurs, chest rising and falling as he tries to catch his breath. "Good dog."

The tug of the leash is expected and Makarov kisses the corner of your lips, tongue swiping across your skin to lick up more of the blood staining your lips. "Clean me up." He orders, "Lick up your mess." He growls, and there's not a single part of you that would refuse him.

Tag list: @lieutnt, @pastelclovds @thee-great-enigma @vladimirking24

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jeonghantis · 1 year

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✧ — NO INHIBITIONS, STRANGE CONDITIONS.

PAIRING ⇝ kim mingyu x reader.

SUMMARY ⇝

road safety could not hold you back from wanting your boyfriend despite how stupid of a idea it is. kim mingyu was just as stupid.

TAGS ⇝ established relationship, smut, pwp.

WARNINGS ⇝ language, gn!reader but with female parts & wears skirts, distracted driving (DRIVE SAFELY PLEASE), explicit sexual content (MINORS, DNI!).

WORD COUNT ⇝ 3.7k words.

note: welp. LOL! mingyu driving drove me mad. this is 2 of 2 fics in celebration of mingyu month. a complete 180 from the first one i fink! oops! and yes i'm aware it's may now and i apologize deeply. but celebrating mingyu should be an all-time thing. the title is taken from the song leaving me feeling confident by the driver era. don't think the song would go specifically with the fic, i just liked the wording. this is completely self-indulgent so as always, not proofread hehe. not as good as i hoped it would be but i hope you enjoy regardless.

reblog for kim mingyu. thats it. (and to support me).

smut tags under the cut.

SMUT TAGS ⇝ ROAD HEAD! (dick sucking while driving), dom/sub dynamics, switch!mingyu, switch!reader, mingyu is kinda sub until he's not, reader is dom until they're not, size kink (reader is smaller than mingyu), use of the petname "darling" "baby" & "angel", dirty talk, praise (reader gets called "pretty"), degradation (whore, slut), hairpulling, mild begging, groping, oral (m), fingering (f), gagging, throatfucking, cunt slapping (once), cum eating, mingyu is ROUGH (man does not know his own strength but is caring afterwards), reader being used as a toy, cockdumb and cock hungry reader, reader probably got major oral fixation, big dick!mingyu like Big Big (could imagine mingyu being ridiculously big or reader just has small hands).

Wandering hands had become quite a shared habit, how natural it was for their fingers to gravitate towards each other. It was always welcomed, of course, when it acted as a need of comfort from the other. When there was not one moment where they were not craving for each other.

But this was a problem. Several problems. Two very conflicting problems.

First, not only is your hand caressing him at the moment, it’s artfully roving over to his crotch. And Mingyu truly loved your bold actions and might have appreciated it if it had been within the confines of their apartment. But it was in the confines of his car, in the middle of a highway.

Second, the problem to the first problem, was that this was his wet dream come true.

It’s a no-brainer what should be deemed more urgent. Mingyu didn’t want to careen their vehicle over the edge and risk their very lives for the sake of getting his dick wet.

But.

But the danger, although he knows it should, doesn’t entirely frighten him. It was a wet dream for a reason.

But Mingyu should be smart about this. He has to be smart about this.

Meanwhile, you’re thinking you may be utterly stupid about this.

Most times, you would consider yourself a cautious person—someone who would always second-guess every decision, and hell, maybe third or even fourth-guessed. Truly, you were an overthinker. Sometimes, you wished you could just stop thinking altogether.

And that time has come now. There was absolutely no question of your decision, not even a single thought process done, when you reached to palm your boyfriend’s clothed dick. You only knew that you were being ridiculous, but it was because Mingyu looked ridiculously hot right now driving the way he does, glancing at you and smiling the way he does. What the hell were you supposed to do?

What you’re saying next is entirely pulled out of the shallowest part of your brain riddled with unbridled lust. And it challenges Mingyu’s logic and worsens his agony.

“Can I put it in my mouth?” you ask innocently, peering at him with big, curious eyes.

“I might kill us both, babe,” Mingyu said, pearly canines bared when he wore a strenuous smile. He spares an urgent glance at how your hand sits perfectly atop his growing erection, nails dragging on denim. His grip on the steering wheel tightens.

“I trust that you won’t. You’re a good driver,” you claim, smiling sharply as you give him a tilt of your head. “Is that a no?”

There was no immediate response from him, his eyes fixed stubbornly on the road that lay ahead. Yet, you still caught the clench of his jaw under the flash of a streetlamp, the whitening of his knuckles. It was insanely unfair how Mingyu could still look so gorgeous when frustration twisted his features—or was it you who simply loved seeing his frustrations?

Mingyu weighed his options. Their apartment was still many ways away, he doesn’t know if he could tough it out for that long. He’s thankful the highway is nearly void of other cars, but is utterly bitter over how it stretches on seemingly forever, leaving him no room to pull over at all. He had to maintain focus on the winding paths. He tried not to think of the deft work of your hand on him. He tried not to think of how your mouth would soon replace it. But his pleasure-ridden body betrays him miserably—his hips lifting itself into a slow rut right against your hand.

“Endangering our lives just so you could fill your slut of a mouth,” Mingyu spelled out slowly, each word sharp. “Is that what you really want?”

“Yeah,” you chirp, entirely unaffected by his tone and he could practically hear the smirk in yours. “You could say no.”

He looks at you. “I could.”

“So, say it.”

A sliver of a smile as he turns away again. “I don’t think I will.”

“Oh?” The flutter deep in your stomach intensified, the anticipation having you on the edge seat almost quite literally as you’re leaning closer, adding a little more weight on his crotch. “Why not?”

“Because I dreamt of this,” he divulges, an airy sigh slipping from his lips. “Dreamt of your pretty lips wrapped around my cock in the middle of traffic, of your frustration when I’m unable to help you force my entire length down your throat.”

“How filthy,” you jest, a shit-eating grin pulling your lips wider.

A pointed gaze. “You literally just offered to suck my dick in the first place.”

A shrug. “Fair.”

Mingyu’s right hand reached for yours. The largeness of his palm fully encompasses your own as he presses down on it, applying enough delightful friction on himself for a strangled moan to get caught in his throat.

“Just do it,” he exhales, his breathing ragged. “My dick is about to explode.”

“What a poet,” You snicker and give his dick a playful squeeze which only earns more of his choked noises. But thankfully, you’re merciful as you are excited and reckless. He hears the rustle against leather as you’re maneuvering yourself, folding your legs under you. His heart beats a little loudly against his chest, thrumming up to his ears and down to his dick, as lithe, dainty fingers make quick work on his belt and the button of his jeans.

“Keep your eyes on the road for me, baby,” you say as your hand dives in to finally, finally, bring his awaiting cock out. “We both don’t want to be dead so soon before I give you the best orgasm of your life.”

“Then hurry up,” Mingyu seethes through gritted teeth.

He’s nearly at full length, and though you’ve held him countless times, you’re still marveling at the sheer size of him, how he sits heavily on your palm, throbbing thickly. Your fingers just barely come into a circle when you start to stroke him with an unhurried and leisurely pace, feeling the full extent of him.

“This hard just from me groping you?” you coo, tone a honeyed venom, as you run a thumb over his slit. “Trying to act all cool with me when you’re just as desperate to fill my slut of a mouth.”

“Baby,” Mingyu said with heavy breaths that taper off into croaked groans. “Please don’t tease.”

“Don’t be so impatient,” you tut. “I promise I’ll make you feel good, but you have to be good and keep driving. Can you do that for me?”

Mingyu swallows hard, the lump on his throat bobbing, and gives an obedient nod of his head before adjusting himself with a straightened back which might’ve been the umpteenth time he’s done so since you’ve offered your sinful proposal.

“Good,” you hum, preening at his easy compliance, and dip your head down.

Mingyu bites down on his bottom lip hard when you take one small, tentative lick at his weeping slit. A ditzy giggle bubbles up your throat when he throbs almost immediately in response and your hand squeezes at the base of his cock in return. You continue with a few more teasing flicks, lapping up the bitter taste of him on your tongue, and only when you feel Mingyu’s thighs flex and strain to jerk up into your mouth do you ultimately indulge him.

“Oh fuck,” the poor man cusses out when you down him as much as you could, your mouth a luscious wet warmth as it envelopes around him. “Holy fuck, baby, that’s so good.”

You hum appreciatively around his unbelievable girth, sending vibrations coursing down the just as unbelievable length that only has Mingyu whimpering praises more. A hand makes up for the rest of him that your mouth couldn’t quite reach just yet; it works in perfect tandem with your slackened jaw as your head begins to bob up and down on him.

Mingyu does not dare steal a glance in total fear of losing all sense of himself at what is most definitely the most lecherous view of his fantasies coming to life. His head stays firmly pinned against the leather-clad headrest, twitching eyes hell-bent on the road. But he could still hear the obscenity of it, all the wet glugs and sucks as your cheeks hollow out for him, and it does all but aid his concentration, gradually winding a burning hot coil deeply set in the pit of his stomach. The wandering habit presented itself as his right hand began to move (thanking the high heavens for making him left-handed), and glided over your back and all the way down under the impossibly short skirt you wore.

“That’s it, angel,” Mingyu drawls out in encouragement, his hand grabbing at the supple flesh of your ass. “You’re taking me so well.”

Hearing his praise and feeling his straying hand only spurs you to dip your head lower, attempting to swallow down more of him. There’s a sense of satisfaction when he bumps the back of your throat and you find that you have been able to take more than half of him in your mouth. But it’s fleeting when the latter half of Mingyu’s dream comes to light sooner than anticipated—that frustration, a consuming greed, of wanting to take him whole. And like he alluded to, you knew it wasn’t possible if he wasn’t fucking your mouth open, which is entirely out of the question. You’re still trying for some form of compensation—a hand wringing at the base, tongue lapping hungrily at the sides of his cock with lewd slurps—and it all comes out good when jerking out moans from Mingyu, but it’s short in appeasing you. It’s desperation now that’s having you creep further along his length, and it’s so so messy with the obscene amount of saliva cascading down his shaft, coating him with a wet sheen. You resist the urge to gag every time he hits the back of your throat and try to veer your focus on breathing through flared nostrils, eyes fluttering shut in concentration.

It’s laughable how easily that focus is broken when prying fingers begin to pull your flimsy underwear.

“I couldn’t help myself,” Mingyu averred, flashing a sly smile your way, before he’s gliding a calloused digit over your folds, gathering at the wetness trickling out.

Your mewls are broken and garbled, a new surge of spit gushing down, dripping on his lap. Instinctively, your hips swivel back hungrily in search of more blissful friction, as you peer up at him through wet lashes, a stray tear flowing down your cheek.

Mingyu catches it when he casts a quick glance again. He notes the utter desperation contorting your expression, the glistening cheeks a sign of your eminent passion, and something deep inside him both inflames and melts at the same time. His eyes are assessing the road when it flickers back up, and there—the greatest silver lining known to man (just Mingyu) kissing the dusky sky—is the end of the highway. He doesn’t speed for it, no, instead he forgoes it, just the slightest bit as his foot eases off the pedal. He forgoes it for the sake of securing the vehicle, for the sake of slipping his a finger inside your wet channel as a reward for the glorious way you worship his cock.

The surprised, choked-out groan you exude goes straight to his dick, quite literally. And he’s echoing it, staggered but loud enough to drown out the music flowing from the speakers.

“I’ll pull over soon,” Mingyu imparts, gently hooking the digit and stroking your walls. “Just a little longer, baby, then I’ll fuck your throat. You’d like that too, won’t you?”

You pull off him with a satisfying pop, a string of spit threading between his cock and your glistening lips that’s quickly broken when both hands replace where your mouth’s been, stroking hard and fast. You glance up at him with your bottom lip tucked between your teeth, holding back your moans as your hips sway back into his finger.

“Be quick,” you whisper, eyelids flickering, and you lean back down to trace the veins along his cock with your tongue. “I want all of you in my mouth. I want you to bury your fingers in me. I want you to abuse me until I'm a mess of spit and tears.”

Fuck.

Mingyu slams on the acceleration. He’s still commandeering the vehicle securely with one hand, but the finger inside you goes still, letting you use it as you please with shallow rocks of your hips and clenches of your walls. He takes a right when the road opens up and pulls up in a relatively empty parking lot very swiftly with the practiced ease of the seasoned driver he was.

Up until then, you were suckling on his tip, coaxing thick, pearly rivulets out of him onto your tastebuds. If it had been possible to be drunk off of precum, you certainly appeared to be buzzed out of your mind with how much you were giggling and lapping at him for more. You were impossibly gone in the pleasure of giving your boyfriend pleasure that you weren't given enough time to prepare yourself for the absolute reckless and barbaric nature that would be forced upon you.

Safely parked, Mingyu ignored the garbled whines when he pulled his finger away from your clenching walls as he goes to quickly undo his seatbelt. Mingyu reached for two firm fistfuls of your hair, used it as a rein to properly align your mouth for him to shove his way inside promptly without so much of a warning. Gone was his usual gentle nature, he’s completely ruthless. The power of his thrusts is terrifyingly inhumane, his sac slapping up against your chin with ease now that he waives your own comfort. He’s focused on gaining his pleasure and his alone.

“Better?” Mingyu laughs darkly. “Were you struggling all this time? Is your mouth filled up enough now? C’mon, pretty baby. Let me hear those gags.”

You do let him hear it, all the gurgles and violent retches made around him. You fucking know this’ll leave you voiceless the next day—hell, maybe for the next few days if you continue moaning against the repeated force—and yet you’re still indulging him, conceding your entire being to him almost too easily, almost too enthusiastically.

Like the sick person you were, the brutality has you practically soaking wet through the fabric of your underwear. If you weren’t in such a rough position, you might’ve reached back to relieve yourself of the incessant throbbing of your core. And Mingyu held the mantle now, your authority beaten right out of you, so you weren’t so sure if he would appreciate you doing anything else other than being his cocksleeve.

So instead, with tears a steady stream down your face and lips red and swollen, you let him abuse you, narrowing your focus on the sliding weight of his dick on your tongue, your head laxed for him to fully control with no restraints or complaints. A perfect little toy.

Your pleasurable suffering wouldn’t last for long. Mingyu was close to breaking himself. You feel his thighs tense from where you gripped him for balance, his panted moans rising in volume against your ears.

“You’re going to swallow everything I give you, you got that?” Mingyu drawled. “Every single bit. You wanted your mouth filled, yeah? You take it all, darling.”

Your responding, muddled moans are a warm wet ring around him. If you could see him, you’d find how pleasure cruelly contorts his features. It takes a couple more messy, stuttered strokes then the burning coil inside him that wound so tightly snapped so violently. A surge of warmth overwhelms Mingyu, his muscles tensing and seizing, and a long, broken noise is ripped right out of his chest, as he comes in thick ropes of white right into your mouth.

The salty, warm cum of him glides down your throat like melted cream. You do try to guzzle it all down as told, but he always comes in such heavy loads. Coughs threaten to tear your throat but you’re suppressing them with the greatest effort until hot tears streak down your cheeks, your chest heaving wildly.

“So good,” Mingyu exhales, his grip on you loosened as he takes to petting your hair with such affection as he rides out the remainders of his high. “You’re so good for me, angel.”

Satisfied after gulping down the last spurt of him, you finally let up with a small whimper, your frame quivering as you sat yourself back on your folded legs, your eyes eager when it found him. Mingyu still looked unbelievably good sweaty and flushed. You couldn’t even begin to imagine what you might have looked like with your hair strewn about and swollen lips.

Mingyu didn’t seem to care. He was smiling at you with great fondness as if he had not just abused your mouth like a mere plaything. He reached to wipe some excess cum on your chin with a thumb before immediately shoving past your swollen lips. Still quite pliant, you lick it up earnestly, giving another wanton moan around him.

“Fuck,” Mingyu starts, huffing out a breathy laugh. “You’re my wet dream come true.”

“You’re welcome,” you try to lilt, but it comes out raspy and painful.

Mingyu notices the wince in your expression and frowns, a hand immediately moving to cradle the side of your throat tenderly. “Does it hurt?”

“Well, you were not exactly gentle, Gyu,” you pointed out humorously, but caught sight of the slight concern lining his face and you quickly followed up with, “But I loved it a lot. It was hot. You were hot.”

Mingyu still looked concerned but at least the corners of his lips twitched at your addition. “I could tell you loved it. You took me really well, angel.”

“And I’d do it again and again,” you said, grinning. “Even though I’m pretty sure my windpipe is bruised.”

His hand lifts to hold the side of your face, a thumb smoothing over your cheek, as he looks over you for a moment. There’s a strange little glint in his eyes, and in your recovering state, you couldn’t quite place what it was, but it has your stomach churning again.

“I should make it up to you, shouldn’t I?” Mingyu murmurs, head cocked to the side as he smiles.

“Could you?” you ask in turn, voice soft. “Please?”

“I’ll take care of you,” he croons, raising his hand up to brush your hair back, his fingers threading through your hair. “Don’t worry your pretty little head.”

Mingyu reaches over you, promptly maneuvering your seat backwards. He eases you until you’re laying flat on your back, and his hands move to grip at your thighs, lifting them and spreading them wide. The breeze that hits your cunt has you trembling and you feel absolutely exposed when Mingyu only watches your tiny frame unfold before him, eyes drinking in the sight with an insatiable hunger. He brushes a knuckle over your soaked folds, tentative, before pressing it roughly against your throbbing clit. You’re whining, arching your back off the seat as a rush of searing pleasure courses up your veins.

You’re whining even louder when Mingyu draws back. You try to reach for his arm but it’s useless when it’s thickly corded with so much power.

“Looks like I didn’t ruin your throat enough if you’re this fucking whiny,” Mingyu remarked sharply with a laugh. He does reach a hand back but your excitement quickly fizzles out just as it spikes when a slap lands quick and sharp on your cunt and you’re jerking in your seat. “Sit still and wait quietly.”

You press your quivering lips into a thin line and nod your head obediently.

With a pleased smile, he pulls back once again. He fixes himself, shoving his dick back into his underwear, followed by sweeping his long hair back and away from his face. He takes his sweet time and doesn’t spare you a single glance as if you weren’t there at all, all the while you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him, the anticipation simmering sickly in your stomach. Then, he’s suddenly reaching for the gear shift, setting the car in reverse, and pulling out of the parking lot.

“W-Where are we going?” you asked urgently.

“Home,” Mingyu replied casually, turning the wheel adeptly with one hand. “Where else?”

You looked down at yourself, at the compromising position he forced you in and forced you to hold. “But - ?”

As if to answer your question, his right hand roves over to you and between your legs. He starts with a press on your clit, then caresses the roughened pad of his finger down to where you leak, before bringing it right back up to start again, and again, and again.

“I promise I’ll make you feel good, baby” Mingyu echoes your words, a vicious smile pulling his lips. “But you have to be good and hold yourself up like that. Can you do that for me?”

“Are you getting back at me?” You meant for your words to come out as an aggravated hiss, but it came out pathetically as a soft whimper.

“Yes,” he responded, not wasting a beat, and peers at you, a dark glimmer in his eyes. “And because this is another wet dream of mine.”

“How lucky,” you start, taking in a shaky breath when Mingyu rubs short, tight circles on your sensitive nub. “How lucky you get to fulfill two of your dreams today.”

“It’s all because of you,” Mingyu grins and, without warning, slides two thick fingers inside you. “Now, answer the question.”

“Yes,” you gasp out immediately, the sudden breach stinging so sharply, but your walls gave a sickly delighted spasm around him anyway. Your arms come up and hook themselves around your knees, bringing it up to your heaving chest. “Yes, I can.”

“Good,” he hums, curling the digits and pressing it roughly against the sweet nerves inside you. “Tough it out because this time, I will not be pulling over.”

#seventeen smut #svt smut #mingyu smut #mingyu fanfic #svt fanfic #kim mingyu smut #seventeen fanfic

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star-born-mars · 3 months

Text

It's Okay to Have Bad Days (Jason Todd)

Author's note: this is entirely self-indulgent. I had a really bad day today and I just want someone to let me sit in their lap and cuddle me with no expectations other than that they love me. Since I am single, currently in the dorms away from anyone I feel comfortable with who give me said conforting contact, I'm using Jason Todd as a coping mechanism.

Warnings: reader has a bad day, one (1) mention of sex, use of the word 'dickhead' in response to something Dick said.

Jason frowned down at his phone, staring at your caller ID for a moment before he answered.

"Hey," he murmured. "What's up?"

For a moment, he thought it was a butt dial, but then he heard sniffles.

"Doll, everything okay?" he asked, standing from the couch to head into an empty hallway.

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't've... this was so stupid, I'm sorry, just ignore me," you stammered, tone tense and wet with tears.

Something was wrong.

"Woah, doll, c'mon, this is me you're talking to," Jason said. "Nothing is ever stupid with you. What's going on?"

Jason heard you sniff over the line again, and he listened intently as you took a few shuddering breaths and said, "I just... I had a really bad day. Nothing specific, just, one of those days, y'know? I wanted to do something, anything, but I just... I couldn't. And my parents are on me again about everything under the sun and I just... I'm having a day."

"I get it doll, I understand. Do you want me to listen, do you want advice, or do you just want me to show up with take-out and snuggles?"

The word 'snuggles' had multiple members of his family (even if he would never call them that out loud) looking over at him with expressions varying from mild interest (Tim, who hadn't slept in over 72 hours and was likely experiencing a different plane of existence) and downright glee (Stephanie, who was going to use it as ammunition, and Dick, who was no doubt going to dig his nose into the reason behind the use of the word and push Jason's buttons).

He moves further down the hall, just in case.

"Take-out and snuggles. I just... I don't want to be alone right now," you admitted quietly. "If it's not too much trouble, I mean, like I said, it's stupid and I know that I'm being irrational and I'm being so fucking childish right now---"

"Doll, you can have bad days, it's not the end of the world. Sometimes everything is just too much. It's okay. I'm gonna order and I'll be over in half an hour?"

"Please." It's downright plaintive and so outside of your normal attitude that it has Jason's heart hurting for you.

Jason knew how you had grown up. He knew that it had impacted you more than most people would ever suspect, let alone see, but even knowing you as well as he did, sometimes the facade still fooled him. Sometimes the cracks blindsided him, nearly made him fall to his knees with the realization that, it might be in different ways, and in varying degrees, but you're fucked up, just like him.

It's probably why the two of you worked so well, but sometimes Jason still forgets.

But it's progress, you reaching out to him instead of bottling it up like you usually do, or hiding away in the shower or your room to cry your eyes out.

He's proud, actually, to be someone you feel comfortable enough to reach out to.

"Okay doll. I'm on my way, okay?"

"Okay."

"Hey, I love you."

"Love you too," you murmured, sniffling again, though you sound much better than you had when he had first picked up. There's relief somewhere in there, Jason knows.

Relief that he hadn't reinforced the dark thoughts lingering, relief that he understands just how much it sucks. Relief that he wasn't breaking the tentative trust that had been built over long nights of patching up injuries and joking about fucked up childhoods. Relief that a wall had been let down and it wasn't met with a violent siege.

"You want your usual?"

"Yes please."

"M'kay, I'll be there soon."

"Drive safe."

"Doll, it's like you've never met me," he teased.

He relished in the surprised laugh you let out, grinning (probably like a lunatic).

"Bye Jay."

"Bye, doll."

"Hot date, little wing?" Dick asked, smirking.

"Some people are capable of being in a mutually satisfying relationship without there being sex involved, Dickhead. I'm headed, don't call me unless there's an emergency where someone is dead or actively dying or the world is about to end."

#jason my beloved #jason todd #jason todd x reader #reader #this is so fucking self indulgent #jason todd is my comfort character #love #tw: mentions of sex #dick grayson #tim drake #stephanie brown

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bbydeathclaw · 6 months

Text

Petulance

pairing: silco x fem!reader (nsfw)

AO3

summary: Silco sends you away to try to get some work done and you decide to be a horrendous little shit about it.

tags: fluff, smut, established relationship, fingering, oral sex (f!receiving), good ol' mating press, teasing, bratty reader, simp silco

word count: 5.4k

adorably aesthetic mdni banner by @cafekitsune

a/n: hello! this is my first time writing in a looong while almost 10 years to be exact please don't look at me. but I had to get back into it with this shamelessly self indulgent fic of my favorite brooding king pin. I hope you enjoy!

Silco had thought it a bit odd at first, the ease with which you’d taken your leave from his office tonight. Ordinarily when he’d attempt to send you away in favor of getting his paperwork done in a more timely manner, you’d put up some form of sulky little protest.

An overemphasized pout coupled with a look of feigned sadness, eyebrows furrowed together when you’d offer to assist him with said work. Your reason being that it would ‘probably get done faster’ between the two of you.

A lie, and a blatant one at that. You were, on all counts, absolutely shit at keeping your focus on any tasks he’d try to give you. You knew it. He most certainly knew it. Truly he’d wonder why you’d even bother offering at all if you just spent most of the time trying to distract him anyway.

Still, he can’t say he isn’t amused by your actions. He finds these juvenile acts of yours terribly endearing for the most part, and even starts to look forward to them, knowing full well that he'll give in to just about anything if you’d simply ask it of him.

Which is why he can’t help but feel somewhat disappointed when you don’t do any of this at all, and Silco starts to regret his idiotic suggestion entirely until you throw a cheeky smirk his way instead.

“Alright, I think I’ll go bug Sevika for a bit.”

A single eyebrow quirk, followed by a low hum of approval.

“I’m sure she’ll be positively thrilled by that,” he replies, suppressing a smirk of his own at the thought of his second in command being pestered by someone almost half her size.

He’s still disheartened by your willingness to leave, but ultimately makes peace with it knowing that you’d more than likely return at some point. You give him a small wave with your fingers followed by a wink over your shoulder, and Silco doesn't hesitate to drag his gaze over your body shamelessly as it saunters out of his office.

About an hour passes, and the music coming from downstairs is just starting to pick up for the evening. You enter the room with a fluid sidestep, leaning back against the door once it closes behind you. His good brow raises slightly. “Back so soon?”

You don’t answer at first, instead making your way over to one of the tables in his office, like a cat quietly stalking about until something catches its interest. He watches you methodically as you settle for one of Jinx’s old trinkets that had been long discarded, carefully turning it over in your hand. “Sevika called me a menace.”

This time he makes no attempt to hide the subtle upturn from the corner of his lips. “I’m afraid I’m inclined to agree with her, my dear.”

“She seems pretty cranky tonight.”

“Hm, surely through absolutely no fault of your own.”

You bite the inside of your cheek in what he can only assume is an attempt to stifle a giggle before turning to face him with an adorably giddy expression that makes his chest tighten.

“Whatcha doin’?”

So innocent, as if you were completely unaware of the effect you had on him. Silco doesn’t answer you verbally, merely bringing his forehead to rest against his hand and lifting the piece of paper he’s holding in the air with the other. The sullen face you make doesn’t go unnoticed by him as you turn to put the gadget back down with an airy sigh.

“Well,” you drag the word out. “I guess I’d better let you get back to it.”

“Yes, that would be nice,” he says in turn, though it comes off more teasing rather than the displeasure he’s trying to convey.

You study his face for another beat or two before you finally respond. “Okay, if that’s really what you want.” It’s not. Not even in the slightest. “I’ll go see if Thieram needs any help at the bar.”

“My love, Theiram is more than capable of handling his responsibilities as a bartender alone. It’s why I hired him, in fact.” He pauses. “Have you perhaps considered staying up here and behaving yourself, rather than looking for more ways to wreak havoc amongst my employees?”

For a moment Silco thinks that he may be tipping his hand too soon, fearing that you’ve caught on to the fact that he’s basically been doing fuck all except sitting here and waiting for you to come back to his office. His suspicion only rises with the way you’re tilting your head and downright beaming at him with ill-disguised glee, like you’d been reading his every thought.

“If I stayed up here it certainly wouldn’t be to behave myself.”

The paper he’s holding makes an audible crunch sound, his hand crumpling the edge of it faintly in response to your suggestive remark.

Before he has the chance to reply with some snarky comment, you’re already heading towards the door, making a show of swaying your hips and giving him another view of the delicious swell of your backside before you take your leave again. His chair makes an audible groan as he leans back against it and lets out a lengthy sigh, running a hand through his hair and glancing down into his lap at the result of your seemingly endless torment.

Intolerable minx.

By the third time you make your way back up, only about half an hour has passed, and Silco’s all but given up on the prospects of getting any semblance of work done tonight. His thoughts being entirely permeated by you and the state you’d left him in.

The Last Drop is in full swing now, and the liveliness of everything going on downstairs comes through the open door as you re-enter his office. However this time, he makes no effort to acknowledge your arrival, his chair now facing away from his desk, turned instead towards the large stained glass window that bathes him in a sickly, pale green light. All the noise from the club gets muffled when the door shuts once again, followed by the sound of purposeful footsteps making their way over to him.

“Welcome back,” he states flatly, trying to sound as disinterested as he can manage in his current predicament while he looks over his clipboard in a vain attempt at trying to salvage what was supposed to be a productive evening.

“Hello there, almighty Eye of Zaun,” you chime back with a playful lilt in your voice. “Did you miss me?”

Silco’s eyes tick upwards and stare blankly at the window straight ahead, actively suppressing the urge to let out another heavy sigh. You were going to be the death of him at this rate, there was absolutely no doubt in his mind. How you managed to be both so insufferable and still so unbelievably charming he’ll never quite understand. Before he has the chance to turn his chair with an already fixed scowl, he hears a faint thud behind him, the distinct sound of glass meeting wood only slightly muted by a soft shuffling of papers.

A few seconds pass before Silco finally spins around to face you, seeing that a tumbler has been set down right on top of the paperwork he had been ruminating over all night. He’s also greeted by the sight of you already sitting in a chair directly in front of his desk, grinning from ear to ear. His heart swells at the sight and his scowl gradually melts away, only to be replaced by something more along the lines of skepticism when he takes in your expression fully.

Your smile is accompanied by what appears to be a look of pure satisfaction, though he has no clue as to why. His non-discolored eye narrows at you, like a parent trying to figure out what misdeed their child has committed behind their back.

Silco regards you warily for another moment, taking in every minute detail of your face in hopes of detecting something that might give you away while he reaches for the glass set in front of him. Ice clinks against the sides as he swirls it around before bringing it to his lips, taking a long sip followed by a hum of appreciation. His eyes shoot back up to meet yours, and finds you now biting your lip while trying, and failing, to suppress a huge grin.

You’re definitely up to something, that much he’s certain of now, and the fact that he still can’t figure out what it is causes his previously feigned discontent to turn into more of a bubbling frustration, having just about enough of whatever game you’re playing. A fleeting thought crosses his mind as he glances down at the drink now dangling from his fingertips, then back up to you.

Silco knows you’ve taken in the brief look of suspicion on his face when you let out a laugh that, despite the visible displeasure he's exuding towards you, is still one of the sweetest sounds he's ever heard.

“I didn’t poison you, if that’s what you’re wondering,” you quip, clearly amused at the implication.

“At this point I would be grateful if you did.”

You laugh again, but it comes out more like a short exhale through your nose along with a relaxed grin, taking a sip of your own beverage, and Silco’s good eye narrows at you once again.

“Are you drunk?”

“What? No.”

Silence.

“Then what did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.”

He practically glares at you for what feels like a considerable amount of time before it finally dawns on him that you haven’t left yet.

“Did you need something darling? Or have you just come to find more ways to elicit whatever reaction you’ve been hoping for this evening?” Silco brings the tumbler to his mouth once more, letting it hover there momentarily in order to get the rest of his words out. “Because if the intended reaction was to see how far you can test my patience I can assure you-”

Words die on his lips immediately when you make a move to stand, mismatched eyes shooting down to your waist to see what appears to be quite possibly the shortest skirt he’s ever seen you in, leaving so very little to the imagination.

He’s still holding the glass right up to his face while he watches you make your way around the only obstacle that separates the two of you before hopping onto one of the corners, your butt and thighs jiggling faintly when they make contact with the solid piece of furniture. “I just figured you could use a drink after such a long night of hard work. Is that so wrong?”

Silco tracks your movements with an almost predatory fixation, watching you lean back slightly to rest against your arms, crossing one leg over the other and he has to actively resist the urge to scoff. This thing is hardly covering anything, you’re essentially sitting there with your bare ass on his desk. The realization of that along with the sight of everything you’re showing has his cock hardening at an alarming rate.

You don’t seem to notice, or if you do you don’t say anything, eyebrows knitting together in a poorly disguised attempt at looking genuinely worried. “What’s wrong? You don’t look very happy to see me.”

Silco sets the glass down onto his desk with a bit more force than intended, turning his chair to face all the way forward and bringing his mouth to rest against interlocked fingers. Any moment now he’s expecting you to hop right off that corner and make your way back downstairs, back to a place filled with depraved and perverted onlookers.

Realistically he knows no harm would ever befall you while you were down in the Last Drop. All of his subordinates had been given clear instruction to keep a watchful eye on you at all times, and after a while a lot of them had started to do it less out of obligation and more so out of genuine care, especially Jinx and Sevika.

Plus, he knows you can hold your own in a fight. Growing up in the undercity had hardened you just enough to make you a scrappy but formidable opponent. So logically speaking, Silco knows there's no safer place for you to be, but the thought of anyone other than himself seeing you in that, especially the less than respectable patrons that frequent his establishment nearly every night, makes his blood boil.

“Of course I'm happy to see you, my dear,” he retorts, turning his head to look over at you once more, eyes darting downwards to that indecent piece of fabric wrapped around your waist then back up to meet your gaze. “It's just that I'm seeing quite a lot of you at the moment, and if you go back downstairs, so will everyone else.” His last words come out strained as he shifts in his chair in a poor attempt to alleviate his growing erection.

“Oh, you mean my skirt? Is there…something wrong with it?” You lift your hips to take the tiniest of scoots towards him, and Silco’s eyes immediately hone in on the action.

“Don’t be cheeky.”

Another scoot. “I’m afraid that can’t be helped, especially in this.”

At this point he wouldn’t be surprised if you really are trying to kill him, taking controlled and steady breaths while he attempts to suppress his growing ire in response to such a ridiculous question. Of course there’s something wrong with it. Silco’s sure he’d nearly be able to see the soft outline of your mound if you were to spread your legs, even in the slightest.

He lets out another deep breath before picking up his pen and casually scribbling his signature on one of the invoices strewn about in front of him. “You will not be going back down there like that.”

He’s not looking at you, but Silco can see the movements of you moving closer out of the corner of his unmarred eye.

“Are you..asking me to stay?”

He doesn’t respond, instead electing to take another piece of paper to scrawl his name at the bottom offhandedly. He knows what you’re playing at, the fact that it took him so long to realize it irks him to no end. He wouldn’t mind answering honestly and just telling you that yes, he does want you to stay, but the thought of giving into your bratty little antics this evening doesn’t sit quite right with him.

Which is why he makes the conscious decision to ignore you as you move close enough to where your upper leg is now narrowly brushing his elbow, the shift causing him to mess up the tail end of another signature. Silco chances a glance towards the movement and regrets it almost immediately when he takes in the soft curve of your thigh, his cock twitching painfully at the sight.

He makes his second mistake when he follows the tantalizing trail of your body upwards and is met with the most unabashed, shit eating grin plastered across your face. He has to force himself to look away, the hand not holding his pen coming up to drag his long fingers back and forth across his mouth as he contemplates the idea of sending you away all together, leaving you pouty and disappointed. And for a moment he comes close to doing just that, until he makes the grave error of risking a glance up at your face again.

You’re not smiling anymore, expression replaced by something far more lustful and serious. Silco simply stares as your tongue slides out to pull your bottom lip in between your teeth before gently nudging his elbow with your knee. He doesn’t hesitate in dropping his arm to offer you the space in front of him, and you slide over gracefully. He stays perfectly still while you plant a foot atop each of the armrests of his ornate chair, knees pressed tightly together.

He finally responds to your earlier question with one of his own.

“What would possibly give you that idea?” His voice is light and teasing, all traces of anger gone. “You’ve been nothing short of a nightmare all evening, love. And now this?” Fingertips come up to stroke the side of your calf, humming appreciatively. “What am I going to do with you?”

This earns Silco a wide, toothy grin as you scoot forward. “Whatever do you mean? I’m just sitting here.”

“Don't be coy with me, sweetheart.” He leans forward, breath fanning over your knees as he speaks. “Be a good girl and tell me what you want.”

“I want you,” knees parting just barely, “to answer my question.”

Silco pushes his tongue against his cheek in minor annoyance before sliding both hands up your legs and over your knees, then back down until he reaches your hips. He grips firmly at the supple flesh and yanks you closer towards him, eliciting a sharp squeak followed by a string of giggles.

“I think you might be the most aggravating creature I’ve ever had the displeasure of courting.”

Your face adorns a look of mock appreciation. “Awe, thank you!”

Slender hands travel back up to your knees. “Truly just a tantalizing little menace.” He waits for you to part them further, granting him the access he’s so desperately craving. “One that I’m both drawn to and irritated by all at once.”

Your smile is nothing short of haughty, as if you’re truly taking everything he’s telling you as a compliment. “Well now you’ve really got me hot and bothered,” you shoot back, knees moving further away from each other until you’re spread all the way open for him.

Although spoken in a sarcastic tone, Silco sees that your words are in fact true, his eyes taking in the sight of your already dripping cunt.

“Indulge me, sweetheart,” he says, one hand coming up to trace the backs of your thighs with his knuckles, causing goosebumps to decorate your soft skin. “Why the need to be so difficult tonight?”

You shiver at the touch, bottom lip still tucked between your teeth as he brings a thumb up to stroke lazily over your pussy.

“J-just for fun,” you retort, but your voice doesn’t hold the same conviction. “Wanted to see..how long it would take.”

“How long what would take?”

The laugh you let out is shaky at best, but there’s still a bit of confidence left when you answer. “For you to ask me to stay.”

It only takes about half a second before Silco’s thumb pushes into your core and his tongue cards a long, hot stripe along your folds. The noise you make spurring him on further as his mouth envelopes your clit, giving it a harsh suck before pulling away with a satisfying wet plop sound.

“I don’t recall asking anything of the sort,” he chides, sliding his thumb back out. “If memory serves me correctly, you came into my office several times practically demanding my attention.”

Silco punctuates his last few words by pushing two fingers into you, pulling another sharp inhale from your lips as he turns his palm to face upward and curls them inside of you.

“Has it ever occurred to you,” he starts, bringing his thumb to circle against your now swollen clit, drawing a long whine out of you as you work your hips against him. “..that perhaps I attempt to send you away in order to finish with my tasks quickly, just so I can get back to doting on you with said attention? Selfish little creature.”

Your eyebrows pinch together, speaking between shallow breaths. “You.. could have just.. said that.. you know.”

Silco smirks, watching you look back at him with a pair of pleading eyes. “And deny myself the pleasure of seeing your lovely pouts and open displays of petulance?” He adds a third finger. “I think not.”

“Silco,” you whine, “please.”

His cock twitches in response, and he doesn’t waste any time bringing his mouth back down to your bud and swirling his tongue around it lavishly while his fingers twist and turn inside of you. He watches you throw your head back, one of your hands snaking upwards to grip the edge of the desk above your head, the other coming to latch onto the top of his head hard as you roll your hips against him.

“There, that’s it,” he coos, “show me how eager you are. Use me.”

This draws another string of small gasps and moans from you, coupled with lewd, wet, slurping sounds as Silco continues to lap and suck at your clit, bringing his free hand to grip your thigh and anchor you to him. The strain in his pants grows increasingly more painful when you sigh his name affectionately, followed by a noise of protest when he removes his fingers from you all together in an effort to tug at intricate buttons of his trousers, freeing his aching cock and palming himself to the sight of your ruined state.

Your arousal coating his fingers serves as a welcome lubricant for him to stroke himself languidly, relishing in the feeling of you bucking up into him, using him to chase your own end. His licks are hot and thorough, leaving no part of your heat untouched.

“Yes,” Silco groans into you, “just like that.”

Your other hand comes down to unbutton your top, cupping and squeezing at one of your breasts, and he knows you’re close by the way you’re begging and pleading above him. The sound of your voice feeds into his determination, letting go of his cock in order to wrap both arms around your thighs, securing you in place and devouring you like a starved man.

The way you cry out his name while your walls flutter around his tongue has him reeling, mismatched eyes boring into you, watching your orgasm in complete reverence as your fluids run down his chin.

“Good girl,” Silco sighs, his movements slowing down to let you ride out your climax. “You always make such sweet sounds for me.”

Your legs tremble and the vicelike grasp you have on his hair loosens before you slump back down onto his desk, words barely managing to come through your short and labored breaths.

“Could've been making them a lot earlier if you’d…stop trying to kick me out.”

A hint of a smile creeps up on his face as he presses small, feather light kisses up the backs of your thighs, leaving glistening spots of your slick behind in their wake. “You know, it is possible to keep your unsolicited remarks to yourself every once in a while.”

Yours breaks into a devious grin that tugs at his heart without mercy. “Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?”

“Mmm, point taken.”

Silco stands to turn your body so that you’re taking up the full length of his desk before climbing up onto it and bracing himself with a hand on either side of your head. His length bobs thick and heavy with need, bringing it to rest against your slit.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?”

You roll your hips against him needily, coating his cock with your arousal. “Maybe.”

“You drive me absolutely mad,” he growls, voice dripping with carnal hunger as he pushes your legs up against your chest once again, lining himself up with your entrance. And it’s the way you're looking up at him with your lip tucked in between your teeth in anticipation, the slight inward curl of your eyebrows in an almost pleading expression that has him pushing into you in one, smooth buck forward, making you gasp as he bottoms out inside of you.

Silco sees your eyes roll back, and he has to physically stop himself from doing the same. He wants to see it all, wants to see your blissed out expression while he fucks you, wants to see all the different ways he can make you come undone beneath him.

You make a pitiful attempt at stifling a moan, one that ultimately fails when Silco starts to rock his hips against yours, pulling them back slowly and savoring the feeling of his cock dragging along your walls before driving them forward with a sharp, pointed thrust. But he’s right there with you, exhaling a throaty groan at the feeling of your walls engulfing him so deliciously, the sensation being nothing short of divine.

“Look at you, taking me so well,” he whispers, lowering his head and tilting it to place gentle kisses along your jawline before nipping at your earlobe. “Like we were made for each other.”

The breathy whine this elicits causes him to straighten himself upright again, picking up his pace steadily, and soon the room is filled with the obscene, wet smacking of skin against skin as Silco begins to pump into you with feral-like need. He readjusts your legs so that your calves are hooked over his shoulders, letting him fuck you so much deeper.

You’re a mess of broken pleas beneath him, and he clings to every single one, a symphony meant solely for him and him alone. Silco watches you with wholly, unabashed devotion as your face twists and contorts in pleasure, pleasure that only he can bring you. And though he wants to feel like he’s still in control, he knows deep down he’s equally ruined by what you do to him, maybe even more so. His seafoam eye glazes over, and strands of hair fall loosely around his face as he ruts into you.

You reach up and try to put your arms around his neck, but the position your legs are in only allow you to claw at his shoulders helplessly. “S-silco, please..”

“Oh? I see someone’s finally learned some manners,” he taunts.

The huff of annoyance you let out amuses him more than he’d care to admit, “For fuck’s sake, Sil. Let me hold you.”

“Demanding thing,” he scolds, but gives into your ‘request’ regardless, lowering your legs just enough so that your knees fall to the side and hook over his forearms, letting you wrap your arms around his neck with open urgency. And now you’re pulling him down and holding him there, like the waters he'd nearly drowned in.

Silco’s jaw goes slack as he turns his head and pants in your ear like some wild beast, whose sole purpose is to bring you to your end. Like it was all he was ever made for. Your head turns to meet his lips with your own, and he tries to keep some semblance of restraint while he kisses you, but he can’t, not with you. It’s hungry and sloppy, full of exceeding desperation.

He breaks the kiss reluctantly to make his way down to your neck, lips and tongue moving against the delicate flesh and littering your throat with marks of all kinds, leaving no room for anyone to question who you belong to. “Mine,” Silco snarls possessively in between sucks and bites.

He's about to pull away when one of your hands slides up to the nape of his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair and locking him in place, begging for more, more, more, and Silco’s more than happy to oblige. You’ve got him wrapped around your finger so tightly, and this realization both excites and ruins him as he begins to ram everything he has into you with new purpose.

“Oh fuck, Silco. Right there,” you cry out, voice becoming raspy and hoarse from your continuous gasps in between moans.

"Yes, that's it. Show me how much you want this, how much you need this," he huffs out through gritted teeth, trying to establish some form of dominance once again, but it's no use when he realizes his words are just as applicable to him as they are to you.

He forgoes his hold on your legs, letting them fall to your sides briefly before wrapping them around his waist. Your eyes flutter shut and your head starts to loll to the side, but Silco grabs your jaw quickly and forces you to look directly at him.

“None of that, darling. I want you to look at me when you come undone,” His breath comes out ragged and primal. “You want to be a good girl for me, don’t you?”

You nod frantically in response, eyes drifting downward to stare at his mouth, like a silent plea. He takes the hint without delay, squishing your cheeks together until your lips form a small pout before leaning down to kiss you fervently. His tongue swirls around yours, hot and wanting, before he pulls away just enough for him to pant into your open mouth, his connecting to yours by the thinnest string of saliva.

Silco can sense your second orgasm approaching rapidly, and he brings his fingers towards your lips. You take the hint right away, wrapping them around his digits and sucking on them lavishly. Once he’s satisfied enough, he removes them and snakes his hand down through your intertwined bodies, settling for the bundle of nerves located between your legs.

Your moans increase in pitch, arms and legs squeezing even tighter around him as he works you with skilled flicks of his wrist.

“You’ve endured this so well, my love,” he whispers against your ear, voice laced with unrestrained hedonism and resolve. “Let’s reward all that effort of yours tonight, shall we?”

His question is rhetorical, but you nod so eagerly for him nonetheless as your walls begin to pulsate, clenching so unbelievably tight around him you’re practically pushing his cock out, nearly sending him over the edge himself.

“That’s my girl,” he sighs with heavy grit and worship. “You feel incredible.”

Silco’s face comes back up to hover over yours, looking directly into your eyes while he fucks you through your climax, his own looming closer and closer. He leans down to kiss you, swallowing your labored breaths greedily as his thrusts begin to stagger before coming to a complete halt, his pelvis flush against yours as his cock twitches obscenely within your heat. He lets out a harsh, guttural moan right into your mouth as he spills into you, your walls continuing to milk him with stuttered squeezes, and he has to pull away sharply to exhale a series of delirious gasps.

Your chests heave against one another, waves of pleasure slowly dissipating as your sweat soaked bodies stay interlocked. Silco shifts slightly, bringing his hands to stroke the top of your head lazily with his fingertips. His forehead comes to rest against yours as he places soft, tender kisses along your cheeks, your eyes, your lips, anything within reach.

He’s rewarded with a giggle, followed by a dopey little grin.

“You know,” you say as your breaths finally return to normal. “I just remembered the other reason you try to send me away while you work.”

Silco already knows the answer, but you punctuate your words anyway by wiggling your ass, causing the sound of his paperwork shuffling beneath you, followed by a light yelp as he smacks your bottom lightly.

“Impossible little wench,” he chastises, lifting himself off of you and being greeted once again by the sight of the thing you keep referring to as a ‘skirt’. He grabs the edge of it with his fingertips, holding it up like it was a cursed object. “Where in Janna’s name did you even get this from?”

You bark out a laugh before propping yourself up hastily to look down at it with pride. “Ran let me borrow it.”

“Excuse me?”

“What?”

“Borrow it,” he repeats, “as in you have every intention of giving it back to them?”

You stare at him for a moment, no doubt mulling over your answer.

“...No?”

Silco smirks at your response before leaning in. “Good girl. Besides, I think we may find many more uses for it still.”

Your eyes widen with child-like wonder, but for the entirely wrong reason. “Oh, so you’ll wear it for me, too?”

He stares back at you blankly, blinking several times before rolling his eyes almost theatrically, earning him another small fit of laughter as he finally graces you with a response.

“Whatever pleases you, I suppose.”

#silco #silco arcane #arcane silco #arcane #silco x reader #silco x you #silco fanfic #silco fanfiction #bratty reader #simp silco #mdni

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sandboxscenes · 7 months

Text

A Halloween Reversal

Inspired by @matchaitham's post here and @i23kazu's post here.

A/N: My brain wouldn't leave this alone after I saw the posts. I thought the posts were cool and had a 'what if' moment. I haven't actually gotten past Sumeru's archon quest yet, but I wanted to write this anyway. Self-indulgent, but it's a fun idea to think about. Happy Halloween! :3

Characters: Diluc, Neuvillette, x gn!reader (hybrid), established relationship

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Crack?

Summary: After some shenanigans, you ended up turning into a hybrid! How do they react?

Word Count: 3,203 (1,128 - Diluc; 2,075 - Neuvillette)

Diluc x Cat hybrid! reader

After Diluc had gotten his hands on yet another "supposed" Barbados relic, you volunteered to be the one to handle the exchange, as Diluc was supposed to get back from a trip that evening.

However, when the next day came and you hadn't left your room, Diluc was concerned. He heard your footsteps pacing around in your room, so he knew you were up. But yet, the door to your room was closed. He went up and knocked on the door. Then, he heard a muffled sound, a loud bang coming from your side of the door, along with a loud owww.

"Are you okay?"

The confusion and concern in Diluc's voice was palpable. It sounded like you had a cat in your room, but how could that be?

Diluc frowned. He checked in with Adelinde when he came back last night, and she didn't mention that you brought home a cat last night. All she told him was that you left the relic on the living room table for him, and that you were going to take a shower. She also informed him that after your shower, you curled up with a book and fell asleep in your room.

Adelinde's report seemed normal enough, so what happened?

Diluc knocked on the door again, more urgently this time. "Hey, are you-"

"Diluc," came your soft reply from the other side of the door. "Not so loud."

Diluc raised his eyebrow. He lowered his hand from the door. That was an odd statement. He didn't seem like he was knocking loudly any more than he did before. If anything, the way he knocked was perhaps a little more rushed, but not loud.

You continued. "I'm glad your home. I'm fine, and you saw the relic on the table, right?"

"Yes. It's a fake, like the others." Diluc paused. "Did something happen with the relic?"

"Um, yes."

Diluc froze. His heart sank. The idea that something could happen with the exchange was one of the possibilities he thought of, but didn't see as likely. Even though he figured the relic was fake, he didn't think the seller would give you trouble. In fact, since the negotiated price was close to what the seller wanted, there shouldn't have been a reason for the seller to be unhappy.

"It wasn't the seller," you hurriedly added. "It was after I got the relic. It was a little dirty, and I tried to clean it. I got all the dirt and dust off, but I felt sleepy. I wanted to take a shower to clean myself off, but when I got up, I…"

"You…" Diluc mirrored.

"Promise you won't laugh? Or get scared and run?"

"I've fought Hilichurls and Abyss mages. No matter what happens, I won't run."

"Promise me!"

From the other side of the door, Diluc was silent. Even though you raised your voice with him, he heard your voice quiver. He realized that whatever you were asking of him was serious, if it affected you this seriously.

Diluc nodded. "I promise. Please, let me see."

He heard the door latch unlock from your side of the room. The door creaked open. In a flash, you pulled him into your room, and shut the door.

It took a minute for Diluc to processed what happened. You literally dragged him into your room a single motion before he could blink. That was already weird, as you always seemed to have trouble catching him off guard prior. But now that his eyes could focus on you, he could see something was definitely weird.

Diluc saw two black cat ears poke out from the side of your head, and a long black tail behind you. His eyes widened. A light blush started to color his cheeks as he tried to look you in the eyes.

"This was from this morning?" he asked.

You nodded. "Yeah. I woke up, and I had these."

"Do you mind if I come closer?"

You shook your head. "Go ahead."

Diluc stepped closer to you. Now that he could see your eyes clearly, he saw that your eyes seemed bigger, in addition to everything else. Diluc raised his hand, unsure. It hovered in midair, until you took his hand and gently guided it to your ears.

"It's real, I promise. I found that out the hard way," you remarked. Your eyes traveled to the clock on your nightstand, as you sighed. "My alarm was twice as loud today."

Diluc ran his hand over your black ears. The fur on your ears was silky smooth to the touch. He felt how your ears twitched under his touch. Every slight movement seemed to bring you closer to him, and he felt you leaning into his touch unconsciously. He heard a purr, and pulled away, concerned that he was hurting you.

He watched you jolt back to reality. Your tail swang wildly. He saw your cheeks turned a deep red. He saw you pull away from his gaze and move away from him.

"I'm sorry," you said, "When you did that, I- I don't know what came over me. It just felt so good. But anyway, I think I ended up with some cat attributes as well."

Diluc's eyes widened. "When I knocked, that other sound I heard was from you too, wasn't it?"

"Guilty." Your head lowered slightly in shame. "I was surprised when you knocked. I didn't think you would be up. I thought you would sleep for a while yet, since you just came back and all. I was hoping these would go away when you got up."

You sighed and pointed to your ears. "Diluc, I don't think I can go out until these go away."

Diluc wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. He gently squeezed his arms around you, enough for a secure embrace. He rubbed your back to comfort you. He wasn't a man that was good with words, but he hoped that his simple action would be enough to communicate how he felt. He was here for you.

"Then, neither will I," he whispered.

"Then, do you mind if I can request something from you, Diluc?"

"Anything." Diluc paused. "Within reason, at least."

Diluc smiled as he looked down at you. He saw a red blush creep up on your cheeks, and saw your ears twitch. He could see the relief in your eyes, and felt you relax.

Hand in hand, Diluc guided you to the bed. Both of you took a seat on the edge of the bed. Diluc felt a weight on his shoulder. He turned to see your head on his shoulder.

"Can you pet my ears again, please?" The words came out softly and quietly.

"Of course."

---------------

Neuvilette x Electro Dragon!hybrid reader

Today's trial lasted longer than Neuvillette thought. But it was finally over. In the end, the Oratrice Mecanique d'Analyse Cardinale rendered the final judgement, a judgement he agreed with.

Now, it was finally time for him to go home. His eyes fell on the Melusine that ran up to him.

"Monsieur Neuvillette! Monsieur Neuvillette!" A Melusine stopped in front of him.

Neuvillette's expression turned serious. "Are they doing alright? Did something happen?"

"They are, but they are asking for you. I tried to take a look to see how they were doing, but they locked the door. They said that they would not open it until you came."

"I see. Let them know I will be on my way soon."

"I'm sorry, Monsieur."

"It's not your fault. I will handle this. Please thank everyone else for their hard work, and have them take a break before going back to their job duties. Send my sincerest gratitude to the rest of the Melusines. Thank you for watching over them."

It took a little less than an hour for Neuvillette to reach you, given that there were some minor technical issues that prevented the Aquabus from leaving on-time. But to him, it wasn't quick enough. His hand subconsciously gripped the cane in his hand a little tighter. In his head, he mentally ran over the possibilities about what may have happened to you to warrant such odd behavior.

Yesterday, you told him that you felt ill, so while he had to leave to preside over the trial, he asked a few Melusines to watch over you until he returned.

For a Melusine to come to him and inform him today that you locked the door to the room, and even more so, refused to open it until he came home, meant something happened. He wasn't quite sure what happened. Perhaps your illness got worse while he was away, but it didn't make sense for you to lock the door for that reason. He and the Melusines have seen you when you were sick a couple of months ago. Was this new illness you had that much worse?

When Neuvillette reached the house you both lived in, the house was quiet. The other Melusines that had been scheduled to watch you, left. But perhaps that was for the best, as you requested for him specifically. He cleared his throat.

He knocked on the door twice, and announced his presence. "I'm home. One of the Melusines informed me that you were looking for me?"

Neuvillette heard the door open slightly. He peered inside, but it wasn't open enough for him to see inside or to see you.

"Yes," you hesitated. "Are you alone? Did everyone else leave?"

Neuvillette re-adjusted his hands on his cane. "I am alone. I have informed the rest of the Melusines that they can take a break before they resume their original job duties."

"Okay."

When you opened the door, Neuvillete wasn't sure what to expect on the other side. Perhaps you would still be in your sleepwear, wrapped with a blanket. Or perhaps you would have made a blanket fort on the floor of your room, when the temperature in Fontaine got uncomfortably humid.

But when Neuvillette saw the purple patches of scales that decorated half of your skin, the black and purple horns sticking out of your head, and the very long purple tail behind you. He was speechless. Such a transformation was something that shouldn't have been possible.

Neuvillette heard stories about the adepti and other beings in Teyvat that had human and animal features, but this was the first time he had seen a dragon human hybrid. Given that you were born a human, this did not make any sense to him.

Neuvillette's thoughts were interrupted by a low buzzing noise that seemed to resonate above him. He looked up and saw that the lights above you and him were dim, dimmer than usual. Odd. There was only one setting for the lights - On. There was no way to control how intense the brightness of the lights were, but compared to the lights surrounding him and you, they were noticeably darker.

One word escaped from the Chief Justice's lips.

"How?"

"I don't know. Maybe it was when the Melusines and I explored Elynas last week? Or maybe it was when I went to look at the ruins of the old Fontaine Research Institute? Or when I went to explore the area around the Court of Fontaine?"

Your hand ran through your hair anxiously. Your tail swished frantically, and seemed to feed off your anxiety of the situation. "I don't know!" You cried, "I don't know! I don't know how this happened."

The lights above you and Neuvillette seemed to increase in intensity. But then, as you cried, the lights above you, cracked. Even with the cracks, the lights above you seemed to get brighter and brighter.

Your next words came out quietly. "Neuvi, I'm scared."

What happened next was pure instinct. Even if you asked, he couldn't explain it. Neuvillette grabbed your hand and moved both of you away from the lights, as shards of shattered glass came crashing down in the place you both were.

"Please. Let us go outside to discuss this."

You hesitated. "Do we have to?"

Neuvillette saw the hesitation in your eyes immediately. You were clearly uncomfortable with the idea of going outside. But then, his eyes noticed the lights above you increased in intensity. He kept his eye on the light and found that it was pulsing, and that the pulses were getting stronger. He didn't want the lights to shatter once more or for you to get hurt.

"We can stay near the house. We can go near the beach, away from people. I guarantee that there is no one there tonight."

You bit your tongue and nodded. Neither of you said anything. Up until you got to the beach, you didn't let go of his hand the entire time. Selfishly, Neuvillette found himself wishing that he wished it could last even a little longer.

Neuvillette stayed quiet while you sat down on the sand. You pushed your legs up to your chest, and cried into your lap. The clouds in Fontaine darkened.

It hurt watching you like this. Someone as strong and as capable as you, crying in front of him. You rarely broke down in front of him, and given how much you muffled your sobs now, he heard it in the way your voice cracked. He knew that this transformation affected you deeply. Even if he couldn't see your face, it hurt that he couldn't do anything for you. What could he even do? He didn't even know the whole story.

All he could do is watch silently as your tears fell and you cried.

After some time, the river of tears slowed, and the cries lessened to sniffles. More than once, he raised his hand in an effort to comfort you, but he was unable to follow through. He wasn't sure if you wanted him to touch you right now or if you would even accept it. Once he was sure you were more composed, he asked.

"If you want to talk, I will listen."

It was a short statement. Short, sweet, and to the point. Apart from listening, he was not sure what else he could do. In his observations of humans, he noticed that sometimes, being willing to wait for someone else to talk could yield more information than asking questions.

You nodded. "Neuvi, I woke up yesterday like this."

Once you were willing to look at him, Neuvillette noticed your eyes changed. Instead of your usual color, your irises were a deep purple. It was the same color as those Electro visions he saw people have, except deeper. Your hands touched your horns, and ran down the purple scaly over your right arm.

"I was scared. I wanted to take pictures to show you and ask you about it, but the minute I held my kamera, it buzzed, cracked, and then it started smoking. I did eat, but I wasn't able to finish the meals the Melusines cooked for me, so I threw it in there. After that, I shut off the lights, and locked the door. I didn't want anyone else to see me, and I didn't want to hurt anyone else."

Neuvillete stayed quiet. He wrapped his hand on top of your clenched one. He felt how tense you were underneath him and squeezed your hand securely. Enough so you knew he was there beside you.

When you tugged on his other free hand, Neuvillette allowed you to guide it. He felt warmth through his gloves. You turned his hand over, and faced it upwards. Your fingers traced the blue eye shape embedded in the palm of his gloves. The way you traced the shape in his palm left an odd tingling sensation in it.

Quietly you asked, "Neuvi, do you think I'll be stuck like this forever?"

The chief justice quietly pondered your question as he flexed his hand. While he had heard of the Adepti and other people with animal features, this is the first time he's heard of a spontaneous human transformation. Not to mention, it seemed like you turned into an electro dragon hybrid at that. This was new territory, even for him.

"I am not sure," Neuvillette admitted. "This is the first time that I have seen something like this."

Your face fell at Neuvillette's answer. Your purple eyes clouded over. It was clearly not what you wanted to hear.

Neuvillette sensed your unhappiness with his answer. But he wasn't sure what to do. Gently, he took your hand by the wrist and held it up in front of both of your faces. You blinked, and looked at him in confusion.

Neuvillette's eyes settled on the tops of your fingers. He narrowed his eyes and concentrated. There was a small bit of internal satisfaction when he saw little bits of electro energy come off your tips. He watched you gasp in surprise when you realized it too.

When you traced Neuvillette's palm earlier, he felt something odd. When you would trace his palm, it was gentle, but this time, it caused his palm to tingle. Coupled with the way the lights flickered and shattered, he intuited that you were radiating electro energy. He also figured that the amount of electro you emitted was at least tied, in some way, to the emotions you were feeling, much like how it rained in Fontaine when the hydro dragon cried.

"Is that from me?" You asked, a shocked expression on your face. "But wait, how have I not shocked you?"

As an answer to your question, Neuvillette raised his hand to show the gloves he wore. He intertwined his hands with yours, and he felt the tingling sensation in his hands intensify. "I can still feel your electro shocks through them, but it is manageable."

Your face turned red at his comment, and you released his hand. "Well, if it's too much, you can stop."

While Neuvillette found your reaction adorable, he knew that you were not pleased by his answer. He needed to rethink this situation and his answer. Neuvillette cleared his throat. "That's not what I mean."

"Then what did you mean?" You shot back.

Neuvillette took a breath. "I mean, that I find you beautiful."

Your eyes widened. Your jaw dropped. You were shocked. Shocked.

"How- What- Why?"

Neuvillette looked at you with a soft smile. "Simply that." He took your hand in his and kissed the top of it. "Even if this is how you look from now on, you are beautiful. No matter what form you take, human or dragon hybrid, you are beautiful."

At this unexpected confession, you got flustered. You tried to hide your face by leaning into Neuvillette's chest. A red tint graced your cheeks. Your tail curled around you both, and pulled you closer together. Neuvillette could feel the electro energy building in your hands. Then, he released your hand.

Even after Neuvillette released your hand, the tingling sensation was still present in his palm. But he could still feel you nuzzled his chest. It was comforting and warm. After a few moments of silence, you spoke again.

"Even if I am like this forever, will you stay?" you asked.

"Always." Neuvillette replied.

#Library Shadows - Works #Diluc x Reader #Neuvillette x Reader #Genshin Impact

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bsd-fan · 5 months

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Soukoku and the mafia

After a million years, I’m finally back with an analysis. I’ve already kind of analyzed Dazai and Chuuya as individual characters but I purposefully left behind something that was fundamental for both of their characterizations and that played a big role in molding their actual personalities. Yes, I’m talking about the environment they grew up in: The mafia.

Because the length and the complexity of the topic, I decided to make an entire post just about this. Obviously there will be spoilers of the anime, manga and light novels so be aware of that.

*Also a friendly reminder that english is not my native language, so I apologize if there’s any grammar or ortographic mistake or if something is worded in a weird way, I just hope is not bad enough that you can’t make sense of it at all. This is also extremely self indulgent and extremely long.

I’m gonna start by establishing the main premise of this analysis and the idea I will be defending in the next parragraphs:

The mafia is literally the worst place for skk to be in (and yes, I’m talking about BOTH of them)

Now this is a bold sentence because the immediate response would probably be something among the lines of “well duh, the mafia is a horrible place for everyone” and yes but also no. The mafia affects soukoku in a special way that is vastly different to how it affects the other characters in the mafia.

I’ve found that the mafia is one of the most misunderstood points in the series (Cycle of abuse, I’m looking at you) so I’m gonna talk about it. Back in chuuya’ analysis, I talked about how he shouldn’t be in the mafia. I wasn’t talking about this in terms of “Chuuya is majorly speaking a good person” and “The mafia is a morally bad place”, that’s pure bullshit and certainly not what I was referring to.

When the fandom talks about the mafia there are two major points of view. Either they saw it as hell incarnate or they see it as the “bad” protectors of the city, kind of a twisted family. And while both of this opinions are not /completely/ wrong, they’re also NOT right. Once again, the problem is that the fandom /still/ insists on assigning a moral category to something that is far more complicated than that. Yes, it’s the mafia, it’s literally a place of crime, it’s /obvious/ they’re gonna do morally bad things but they are also an important part in the tripartite framework and a major reason of why the city is still standing, this are not mutually exclusive. And that’s because the mafia is not a morally oriented organization.

The next biggest mistake when it comes to this topic is thinking of Mori and the Mafia as synonyms. People loves to blame Mori for every single thing that happens, there is always an entire section of comments that always claim “Normalize blaming Mori for everything” and that’s just /plainly/ wrong. I need you to understand that the mafia existed before Mori and will exist after Mori and it still will require of a leader that have certain type of characteristics. The reason Mori is the perfect leader for this organization is because he perfectly represents the mafia ideology NOT the opposite. Is Mori who adapts himself to the mafia, not the mafia adapting to him. Obviously he is in charge and he gets to influence and dictate the actions of the organization, the same way the old boss did (and he made a shit hole out of it) but the mafia as it core exists as a concept that can not be altered not matter who is in charge of it. And that’s what we have to understand.

Let’s start by defining it:

“An economic body that uses violence as it’s currency” -Mori

And that’s it, that’s the first and most important thing you gotta understand about the mafia. It’s not about bad people doing bad things for the sake of it. It’s not about morally grey people saving the city because of the good in their hearts. The mafia as it core is about money, is about benefits, is about gaining the most. It’s an economic body.

They will kill, kidnap and torture? Yes but they won’t do it because they’re bad, they will do it only if there’s something to gain out of it. They save the city and stop the other criminal groups? Yes, but it’s not because they are secretly good people. It’s to maintain the monopoly of the crime in the city and protect their territory where they have all the money and where they do their negotiations. There /are/ people in the mafia who genuinely care about the city like Mori, Chuuya, Tachihara or Hirotsu, I don’t doubt there are other people as well who cares about it but those are personal motivations that have absolutely nothing to do with the mafia as an institution. Because the mafia as it’s own entity only cares about the gains and losses.

So when we talk about the main difference between the Mafia and the ADA is not about morality. Both organizations are full of morally grey people, both of this organizations are ready to do criminal activities if required. The main difference is the objectives behind them. The ADA is a organization of people for people.

“There is no agency more valuable than human life”- fukuzawa about the ADA, first light novel

The ADA is about doing their best to help people, is about prioritizing human life above everything else. And when they do criminal acts? It’s because it was the only way to preserve as many lives as possible.

The mafia on the other hand is about gaining money and resources and it’s about securing the survival of it as as Institution doing whatever is necessary to achieve it.

“These magical stones always led to violence and bloodshed, and the only thing that could stop this violence and maintain a stable system was even more violence”— Chuuya, stormbringer.

In the last chapters we realize that even though the ADA as an organization technically doesn’t exist anymore (because they were seen as a terrorist group) they still can perfectly exist as long as the members are alive. They can make another organization but they can’t just replace one of their members, that would be a critical hit for them. That’s abysmally different to how the mafia conduces itself. It doesn’t matter how many people die, they can be easily replaced but if the mafia as an institution falls? Then they lose everything. So this means, that the ADA will sacrifice the organization as many times as necessary if by doing it, they can protect it’s members meanwhile the mafia will sacrifice as many people as necessary if by doing it they assure the survival of the mafia as an institution. And this has been shown again and again and again. It’s because of this main objective that the mafia by definition and independently of Mori, needs to be: Extremely Rational, utilitarian and deeply Machiavellian because if not, then it wouldn’t be able to survive. The mafia as an institution requires someone who will put the needs of the organization over personal feelings and even over the members of the institution if that’s the best option..

And that’s why Mori is the perfect leader of the organization, because he is the textbook ideal of what a Mafia boss should be. Mori is not known for being the cruelest or the evilest. He is known for being the most logical, not matter what. For always being cold and rational.

“Dazai, Do you know why I’m the boss? (…) I don’t posess an incredible skill like you or chuuya. Instead, however, I am a little better at something than the two of you. I can always predict exactly how many men I need to send into battle”- Mori, stormbringer.

To illustrate this better let’s talk about the death of the old boss and Odasaku.

First thing to understand is that people is not stupid, they always /knew/ that Mori killed the old boss. For fuck’s sake even the sheep who were a group of literal /kids/ that weren’t even part of the mafia knew that there was no way that the old boss died of naturally causes and casually left the mafia to Mori who coincidentally happened to be his doctor. They all knew but they are collectively playing pretend. Why? Because they recognize that Mori is the best option, because they know that Mori won’t sacrifice them without reason, he won’t ask them to do useless things. Every single action that Mori takes is for the benefit of the organization, is logical and can be defended using rational arguments and when he decides to sacrifice someone there’s also a reason behind it. And that’s the best option possible for a place like the Mafia. The mafiosos chose him because of it, but make no mistakes, if the time comes where Mori is more a liability than an asset then someone will most likely kill him and take his place exactly the way he did. That’s the way of the mafia. Just like Mori says, even in the top, everyone’s is a slave of the organization including himself.

Odasaku’s death was carefully planned and I’m not denying that there were personal reasons there, I’m not denying that part of it was to specifically aim to Dazai, being as part of training him to become the next boss of out of fear of Dazai killing him, Mori did this move knowing that Dazai was gonna be affected by it. But as much as all of you would hate to listen to it, it was also the most logical course of action. Just stop to think about it. You have this incredibly powerful asset, someone who is extremely competent, someone who is insanely strong but you can’t use him because he refuses to do any important task, he refuses to kill. He is basically wasted talent. But then there’s an opportunity to gain something extremely valuable (the ability’s permission) and you just have to eliminate one powerful group of people and hey, your liability happens to be the /perfect/ person for the job, so what do you do? What Mori did may be horrible but also was a genius move. He destroyed an entire organization while sacrificing one single person who was useless to him anyway. He gained something that was vital for the organization with basically no losses. Yes, he sacrificed the children and that’s fucking sick and horrible but they weren’t his responsibility, the organization was. The kids weren’t part of the organization, sacrificing them doesn’t translate to any significant losses to the mafia. That’s why Dazai is so frustrated by the end, because he lost his best friend, he is suffering but he can’t deny that Mori was logical about it, he can’t deny that that was rational. Even in beast there’s this whole part explaining how difficult it was to defeat mimic without oda, do you know what does that mean? Dazai probably sacrificed a large number of people to do it and even if he didn’t why would you as the Leander of the organization would take the most difficult path when there’s other that is far easier and cheaper? And just like that, every single one of Mori’s actions can be explained with a logical process behind it.

I feel like the biggest argument to understand that even though Mori represents the Mafia ideals, the mafia is still an independent organization of Mori is Beast. He is not the mafia boss in beast but the mafia basically remains exactly the same organization, akutagawa is not suffering but Atsushi is. People are suffering exactly the same, the only different thing is /who/are the ones suffering. Sure, someone can argument that Dazai was not trying to be the best leader, just to save Odasaku but the whole point is that generally speaking he had to make enough of a decent job to maintain the order in the city. Under Dazai’s command the mafia was more powerful than they were with Mori in charge. And it’s horrible, but that’s the only way to rule it. Otherwise the whole organization would fall apart. So to summarize the horrible environment of the mafia is NOT because of mori. We already saw the mafia in charge of the old boss, of Mori and of Dazai and the environment is kind of the same with slightly worse or better differences and that’s because again there are parts of the mafia that can’t be altered independently of who is in charge.

“A leader is simultaneously at the top of the organization and still a slave to it as a whole. You need to be willing to get your hands dirty to keep the organization afloat and thriving. A leader develops their subordinates and places them wherever they best fit and disposed of them if necessary. I will gladly perform the most heinous acts for the sake of this organization. That’s what it means to be a leader”- Mori, fifteen

Mori is far from perfect, he is horrible and sick and also have lots of personal interests, he also uses the organization to a certain degree to achieve them. But this is not fake. He will put the organization over everything else. That’s what it means to be the boss of the mafia.

So now that we got that out of the way and we learn to differentiate Mori from the mafia and we now understand that the mafia is not a moral organization but an economic body, we can start explaining why the mafia is such a terrible place for Dazai and Chuuya especifically. Let’s start with Dazai. We already discussed it but for the mafia to accomplish it’s main objective it needs to have certain characteristics.

Rational

Utilitarian

Machiavellian

Do this words remind you of someone?

“Your blood is mafia black”

Have you ever wondered why even though chuuya is the one with the greatest body count, Dazai is the one that always seems to be like the worse of them? Why Dazai is the first one to come to mind when they talk about the next mafia boss?

It’s because just like Mori he perfectly embodies the ideals of the mafia as an institution. He is brilliant, kind of apathetic, cold, rational, manipulative and he is naturally an utilitarian (philosophy that believes that the best action is the one that produces happiness to the most people) and Machiavellian (ideology that puts one’s goals over everything else, discarding the moral consequences and the ethics qualifications) this can be summarized to one simply sentence: Dazai is the type of person who is result oriented, it doesn’t matter the means, just the final result and that’s exactly the kind of ideology that the mafia needs to exist. And that’s just part of his natural personality.

So why the mafia is such a bad place for him if it seems like it’s the most natural place for him to be?

If this is the first thing that came to your mind:

Then you’re wrong and I’m here to spit in this idea of cycle of abuse.

Okay so first of all, people refer to “cycle of abuse” to the wrong thing. You’re actually referring to intergenerational abuse and even more than that you are all thinking about the /individualized/ abuse of one person to other than then replicates the same thing in someone else. Thing is, if we make this cycle we will arrive to Mori and I just wrote half a bible of why this is factually incorrect, so don’t make me say it again. Then, there’s the second biggest issue here, this is /incredibly/ reductionist. There /are/ parallelisms in this relationships, yes. But I need you to understand that even though they were indeed abused to a certain degree, they are all part of the mafia which is an abusive place to begin with and by definition. There was no way for them to not suffer this and they weren’t the only ones, everyone in the mafia was abused one way or another and it came from different places not just one specific person . Now let me start with the thing that bugs me the most of this cycle.

It obligates me to defend Mori

See, I can perfectly understand Dazai and Akutagawa being here because even though Aku was manipulated and used for more people in the mafia than just Dazai is a fact that he was the main abuser. It’s true that is was a target abuse and that was repetitive and degrading every single time. Akutagawa is now basically a glorified Pavlovian experiment thanks to Dazai. Yes, Dazai cares for him, yes Dazai actually was trying to teach him and to make him stronger. The intention here is secondary, akutagawa still ended up deeply traumatized and with a pathological need of recognition to survive.

Now akutagawa and kyouka? This one is more questionable because we know that Kouyou and Akutagawa had kind of a twisted version of shared custody when it came to her. So kyouka was abused for more than one person and not necessarily in an intergenerational abuse so the cycle is no longer a cycle right? But okay let’s go with it. We have actual canon proof that akutagawa abused her replicating Dazai’s methods with him so it can still qualify.

But Dazai and Mori? WHERE?

In all the story there’s no proof that Dazai was abused in this way by Mori.

It simply doesn’t exist, it’s just a headcanon that became so popular that everyone started to believe it. Yes, Mori exposed Dazai to a murder when he was fourteen and that’s a form of abuse, true. But have you noticed that most of the mafiosos got into the mafia when they were teenagers or even literal kids (Q was six, gin was also younger than Dazai) they were ALL exposed to this form of abuse. This doesn’t make it okay, of course but it’s not the kind of individualized abuse that you all love to talk about. “He manipulated him” true, he also manipulated oda, Ango, Chuuya, Q, etc. Again it certainly wasn’t personal or out of place for a mafia boss. And again IT’S NOT A CYCLE. We also have absolutely no evidence of Mori being physically or sexually abusive towards Dazai. He psychologically abused of him? Yes but once again there’s no evidence of it being worse than it was with other people. It’s plausible of course, because Dazai worked directly under him but for the most part it doesn’t seem like he was specifically horrible towards Dazai. You want to talk about Mori being horrible with someone? At least choose the right person because yosano is right there. Dazai had most of this personality traits before meeting Mori, so it’s not like Dazai was a perfectly sane and happy kid that would’ve been normal of he was picked up by a good person, he was not ranpo or yosano. Let’s also add that Dazai seemed to be incredibly desensitized to violence even at fourteen. We can’t blame Mori for his character traits but we can certainly blame him because he made them worse.

So if not for this, then why Dazai shouldn’t be in the mafia? Is not for the abuse, is not for the moral implications, then why?

Easy, the real reason it’s because of Dazai’s core as character. Dazai doesn’t care for the mafia, he doesn’t care for power and even though he naturally seeks the benefits out of every situation that also is not his core as a character. His core is and always be: Humanity. That’s what Dazai is looking for, that’s his nucleus as a character and that’s the reason the mafia is the worst place Dazai can be in, regardless of his abilities.

Dazai gets into the mafia trying to find a reason to live, trying to understand humanity so that would make him close to his own and it really seemed like the perfect plan, it was logical. The mafia certainly is a place where death is part of life, emotions are raw and most often than not genuine. Then why It didn’t work? Why his mental stake kept deteriorating more and more? Because it took him farther away from his humanity. I’ve said it before but the reason Dazai felt inhuman is because of a permanent sense of alienation and isolation. Dazai already has certain characteristics that make it harder for him to establish emotional bonds with people. His brain also moves faster than everyone’s else’s, so for him is so /easy/ to stop looking people as individuals and look at them as pieces to use and discard. The mafia is the worst place for him to be because it enhance this characteristics, the mafia impulses him to use them because that makes him the best asset but that also makes him incredibly miserable because it worsens the alienation thus increasing the deshumanization. Also the mafia makes him intellectualize as a coping mechanism which worsens his self awareness that to begin with is pretty poor. That’s not all, because of the nature of the mafia Dazai who already has trust issues ends up even worse so it isolates him even more. The only moments he seems to be closer to his humanity is with people like chuuya or Oda, and the hilarious thing about it is that they both are basically the opposite of what the mafia represents. More than that, Chuuya actually obligates him to go back to earth and start acting less as a god and more as a human being.

Which also explains why the ADA is better for Dazai than the mafia. Is not because of morality, is because is an organization that revolves around people so it obligates him to interact and create relationships with people, and even if they’re not 100% honest. It still decrease his alienation and isolation and being him closer to his humanity. That’s the reason the ADA is the best place for him.

Similarly but in a completely different way there’s chuuya, except that he is a thousand times more tragic than Dazai and every time I stop to think about him I want to sob, scream, throw up.

Dazai has the characteristics to be the perfect mafioso but his nucleus make it impossible for him to be one. Chuuya doesn’t have the characteristics to be a mafioso and also has the same nucleus as Dazai.

So the premise is: The mafia and chuuya are irreconciliable ideas and it’s a miracle that it’s still working.

We already went through everything that the mafia represents, we already know that by /definition/ the mafia is a place where you have to deshumanize other people and yourself in order to survive. It’s not a surprise that is the WORSE place in the world for the two people whose whole characterizations revolves around humanity.

But in chuuya’s case, his whole personality and ideological system directly clash with the mafia. Is fucking tragic. Let me remind you that chuuya gain his whole sense of humanity and identity out of the relationships he makes with people. Chuuya /cares/ for people, that’s just the kind of person he is. You CAN’T ask him to start viewing this people that are /everything/ to him just like chess pieces that can be sacrificed at any moment. That would be the equivalent of spitting in his sense of humanity, to take away his reason to live and his identity. That would completely break him. So chuuya keeps making bonds with people and suffering Every. Single. Loss. Because the mafia is a place of sacrifice and he can’t stop it not matter how hard he tries. And that it’s also devastating in a whole new way.

“His eyes were tainted with Darkness just like everyone in the mafia. It was a murky darkness-one that viewed human lives as mere numbers”- about Arthur, fifteen

This is the mafia, this is the mindset needed to be there. This is also precisely the opposite of everything that chuuya is. Chuuya survives because he can’t view human as numbers. People are the most precious thing in the world for him.

This is chuuya Nakahara:

You value your friendships and make decisions accordingly. I suppose you could call this human nature- Adam, stormbringer

Chuuya is in a place where people die and no one cares, because they were simply numbers, because they don’t exist as individuals not really.

“Countless people died, but the incident hardly remained in anyone’s memory”- stormbringer

The flags died and no one aside from him cared, after that he made new friends that were also killed in the same fucking year and once again nobody stopped, just him. The mafia just replaced them and acted like it was nothing. And meanwhile:

“-Chuuya you smell like incense. Did you go visiting those graves again?- shirase about chuuya, stormbringer

Chuuya keeps visiting those graves because even when no one remembers them, he does, because they were his friends, they were individuals. Hell, leave alone his friends, Chuuya fucking goes to talk to Arthur’s grave. That’s the type of person he is

Chuuya is emotional, he is straightforward, he is honest, he /cares/. Chuuya’s so opposite to the mafia ideals that it would be funny if it didn’t make me want to eat glass. In order to be in this organization he has to go against his personality, against his values and against his moral code. Do you have an idea of how tiring that is? Of how much that affects him? Even if he refuses to notice? So chuuya solved his conflict, he found his humanity but he did it in a place that constantly tries to take it away from him.

Now, how has he survived this long then? Because he has developed coping mechanisms but this only slow his downfall. It won’t stop it.

His first coping mechanism is one that I find /incredibly/ interesting. And I’ve never seen anyone talking about it: Selective deshumanization

This existed before the mafia but Chuuya made it stronger after becoming a mafioso. I’ve said it before, even though chuuya has so many hero like characteristics the reason he is a morally grey character is that he chooses. He decides that certain people are more important than others, he knows that he can’t protect everyone, he knows that in order to protect his people, he will have to sacrifice other people. So chuuya deshumanize that group of people as a defense mechanism, he needs to stop himself from looking at them as individuals. If you want examples of it, there’s Dazai, Randou, Addam and Verlaine. At first I really thought that it was a coincidence but it happens enough to be an identificable pattern. When skk met, Dazai got obsessed really fast, chuuya didn’t. Chuuya tried to keep his distance as much as possible because he knew that Dazai was an enemy. He didn’t make personal questions even though it was obvious that he found Dazai’s behavior weird, he refused as much as possible to give him personal information and more subtle but more important, Chuuya absolutely refused to call him by his name. He used lots of insults but never his name even when it was clear that he knew it, that was him trying to keep as much emotional distance as possible. And the moment he used it? It was over for him, because from there it doesn’t matter how much he tried he could never stop himself from looking at Dazai as a human being, worse than that, he ended up understanding him even against his wishes. Same happened with Arthur, he was just another crazy man obsessed with Arahabaki but the moment he talked about Verlaine? About how he was doing everything for his friend? He became a real person, he could identify with. Addam? Was just a bothersome machine, he also refused to call him by his name but by the end of it chuuya was using corruption because he considered Addam a friend that he loved regardless of his origin. Verlaine fucking ruined his life and killed the most important people in his life but once chuuya understood his reasons and his past, he empathized with him and defended that he indeed was a human being at the end of the day. What I’m trying to say is that chuuya tries to keep his emotional distance by deshumanizing people but he kinda fails. A LOT.

The second one is the anger. Chuuya can’t express his emotions easily, a lot of it came from the fact that he always had to be the strongest so it was impossible for him to express vulnerability and then he went into the mafia and if there’s a bad place to be vulnerable, this is it. Chuuya deals with every strong emotion transforming it into anger because that’s an emotional he can control. The devastating thing is that It doesn’t only apply for bad emotions, even when he is happy or grateful he feels like he can’t express it and that makes me want to jump from a very tall something.

The third one is evasion. I find this particularly funny because in almost every fanfic Dazai is the one that evades his feelings and just decides to stop thinking about certain stuff when in canon the one that does that is chuuya. Dazai intellectualize as a way of dealing with feelings because he doesn’t know how to process them, and he overthinks a lot because he can’t stop himself from doing it. That is why his brain is his worse enemy. Chuuya, on the other hand, just evades. He supress all the emotions that he can’t exteriorize as anger, he supress his worst fears and his biggest insecurities, he put all of it into a mental box and throws away the key. But they are still pretty much there, lurking in the dark. Most of his “instinctual” actions are in reality guided by all of this things that he is trying so hard to hide.

And the last one? Is probably the worse one. We already establish that Chuuya can’t deshumanize the people in his group so he tries so absurdly /hard/ to protect them. He is always ready to sacrifice himself if by doing it he can save the people he loves, he carries too much, so the rest won’t have to do it, he takes the worse jobs, he is in the front lines, he is always ALWAYS the one to be hurt first. It may seem different but he is basically in the same situation as he was with the sheep. Except that now is not his people that are asking for his sacrifice, now he is doing it himself. Because he knows that the people he loves can be stolen from him in any moment, so he over compensates by doing everything he can to avoid it.

“The moment you get your hands on something worth going after, you lose it”- Dazai, Dark era.

Not in the same way, never in the same way because that would be sacrificing his humanity but chuuya’s thought process is not that different from Dazai. He doesn’t avoid relationships, though, he does everything in his power to avoid losing them JUST LIKE DAZAI DOES. Dazai knows that he can’t control everything, he knows that the world is absurd and full of irregularities but it’s terrifying to live in this kind of world, so he tries to predict everything, he tries to be three steps ahead of everyone else even if that make him feel less of a human being, because maybe then he can make a difference, maybe then he can protect what he has. Chuuya does basically the same thing, in order to protect his people, he will be the strongest, he won’t fall, he won’t ask for help, he will be the one carrying everything. Do you have an idea of how lonesome that is? To know that you can’t depend on anyone? Chuuya is a people’s person but he is so incredibly /lonely/. He can never be their equal because he is too busy trying to protect them. And this happens because the mafia is just like this, a place of sacrifices. A place of losses. It’s not a place for long lasting relationships.

At least two of this coping mechanisms lead him to deshumanization even when he tries his best to avoid precisely that. So chuuya basically lives in the worst dilemma in earth and this much contradiction will kill him one day.

The only reason he is still able to be there is because in his position as executive he had never been in a position in which he had to choose between his friends and the major benefit of the organization.

Chuuya as the next mafia boss? is laughable

The whole organization would crumble in DAYS. And that’s because chuuya goes against the single most important principle of the organization.

He is loyal to the people in the mafia, not to the organization

Chuuya will sacrifice the whole organization in a minute for its members, that’s literally the OPPOSITE of what the mafia stands by. He can’t sacrifice in cold blood a friend, he just can’t do it, that goes against everything that he is. He refused to sacrifice Adam even though at that moment that seemed like the only option to save the city and the mafia and he still REFUSED. Because he simply can’t sacrifice a friend. It’s impossible to him. Q is another good example of how much of a terrible leader chuuya would be. Believe it or not killing Yumeno was the opposite of what a proper mafioso should’ve done. There’s a reason Mori ordered to bring Q alive and that’s because rationally speaking yumeno is a weapon, killing him won’t bring back the people that already died and honestly speaking Q’s life is far more valuable than most of the mafiosos but for chuuya? It wasn’t the case, he couldn’t be rational because /his/ people died because of Q because for him was more important to prevent this from ever happening again than to use Q.

So to summarize chuuya is stuck, he can’t leave the mafia because that could be to go against his identity and sense of humanity but staying there is slowly killing him because it obligates him to go against everything he is and to be completely lonely in a place that is dead on deshumanization. So he basically lives in a state of pressure and constant stress while feeling trapped and saying to himself that he is where he should be. The ideal place for chuuya, funnily enough would be the ADA. And I’m not saying this for Dazai but because of the objectives of the ADA. A place that is oriented to people, a place that values relationships, a place that revolves around protection. It drives me mad everytime I think about how ridiculous ADA coded chuuya is only to be in the mafia.

Okay so basically that is the end of the rant, if you read all the way to here, congratulations and thank you for your time.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #soukoku #bsd #bsd spoilers #analysis #mafia analysis #bsd mori #me fangirling about chuuya #what’s new #this somehow is longer than the two past analysis #sorry for being depressing

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yukachaan · 1 year

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Found family anime recommendation list

I've been thinking about making this rec list for a while because found family is my absolute favorite trope, so this is really self indulging haha 🤭

these are just some of my personal favorites, but if you guys have more recommendations please add them!

(This list contains spoilers!)

1. Dororo- absolutely heartbreaking and beautiful. the two main characters, Dororo and Hyakkimaru, develop such a special and precious bond throughout the story, and what makes it even more interesting is that at the beginning, Hyakkimaru is not able to see, hear, or really communicate with Dororo, and he gets those abilities slowly throughout the story (through killing demons haha yes it's that kind of story), so it makes the development of their relationship really unique. Both of them don't have their actual families for different reasons, but I absolutely LOVE the familial relationship they develop!

2. spy x amily - everyone's new favorite family lol. I don't think I need to elaborate, I love the little family they've built. it's so cute how all three of them have their own selfish reasons to want to keep this family unit, but at the same time care so deeply (and obliviously) for each other, I love it! there's not a single character I dislike, there wasn't a single episode i was bored watching (so far). it's like the perfect found family - they found each other, and just created a family instantly haha. If for any reason you're still not watching this, you really really should

3. banana fish - ugh honestly it's hard to find words for this one, it's so so SO good, but also, watch at your own risk, it's been years and my heart still hasn't recovered. The relationship between the two main characters, Ash and Eiji, is so beautiful and touching and tender, and it's so satisfying to watch. Ash deserves all the love omg 😭 I love how they take care of each other, how it's obvious to everyone how much they love each other. and i hate how it ended but that's a talk for another time...

4. Run with the wind - ok so i think most sports anime have an aspect of found family - your teammates become kinda your family, and friendships and bonds are usually the main focus. but i think it's especially highlighted in run with the wind - it's a show about running a marathon, and it's in a university setting (which already makes it more interesting lol). i LOVE connections between the characters. here as well, there's not a single character i dislike. even king who i didn't really care about in the beginning, I grew to love so much by the end. and Haiji might be my favorite character of all times. like throughout all platforms, he's my favorite. he created this team and he made them a family and i just wish i had a haiji in my life, you know? 😭

5. march comes in like a lion - ok, so, this one is especially precious to me, and i think it's my favorite anime of all times. officially, the show is about a boy who plays shogi professionally, and it is a part of it, but there's so much more to this anime. I've never watched anything that handled depression, and the journey of getting better, in a more accurate way than this show. the main character, Rei, is an orphan, and has a really complicated life story. he meets these three sisters, and is kinda invited to be a part of their little family. the relationships in this show are so touching and tender, even when nothing sad was happening i found myself crying. the sisters basically adopt rei, and little by little help him heal some of his wounds. the visuals of this show are perfect, you can feel everything rei is feeling. the sisters' house feels warm and inviting, while other spaces feel cold and disconnected. it's brilliant. also, the show handles the different characters with so much care, you end up caring about them all. i can go on forever lol, it's a masterpiece.

6. kids on the slope - another brilliant show. this is a slice of life, and the focus is on the friendship of three teens in the 60's. i love this one because even though they all have families that play a part in the story, they still become like a family to one another. their relationships are so touching, and so realistic. it deals with jealousy and friendship and love and loneliness in such a realistic, relatable way. for example one of the boys gets really jealous when his friend gets a new friend, it makes him lash out in such an unreasonable way, but at the same time you can totally relate to what he's feeling, because like, which one of us hasn't been there, right? i really recommend! (Also, the music is absolutely fantastic!)

7. Umibe no Etranger- maybe some people would think this doesn't belong here, but i totally think that along with love, this movie is totally about found family 😊 the two main boys are both on their own, Mio because he was orphaned, and Shun because he lost connection with his family after coming out. throughout the story, they become each other's family and support system (especially if you keep reading the manga like i have hehe🤭). i love their relationship so much!

8. fruits basket - again, maybe it's not the main trope, but it's definitely very much there! tohru, who is left without a family, finds a new family in the form of the very dysfunctional sohma family, that cares about her immensely, while she also cares about them and helps them heal and break their curse. i never read the manga or watched the old anime, and i didn't expect this to be as deep and painful as it was, but honestly one of my favorite shows right now.

9. Poko's udon world - so! freaking! cute! is it a ploy to make people have families and kids? perhaps. do i care? nope. Poko is the cutest child character ever, and the parent-child relationship between sota and poco is so precious, this is the most literal definition of a found family lol- sota found poco and basically instantly adopted him. the story is really touching and cute!

10. Clannad + Clannad after story - ugh i don't know if I'm able to talk about this one again, as it makes my heart hurt. this is one of my all time favorites. i think even though it's a love story, above all else it's a story about family. i wasn't sure if it fits the "found family" category but decided it does. even before nagisa and tomoya get married, tomoya is basically adopted by nagisa's family. they take him in to allow him some distance from his father, and show him how happy and loving a family can be. Also, all the friendship in the story are meaningful and have a familial feel to them. throughout the show there's a lot of focus on the subject of family, which leads to the main characters creating their own new little family unit. if you've been living under a rock i must warn you, I've never cried this much while watching a show in my life. while the ending is a happy one (well... in a bizarre kind of way, i guess), there's so much pain throughout the whole show, it's overwhelming at times. still, it's so so good and i really recommend to give it a try! (please, get through the first season and get to Clannad after story, it's really worth it!)

11. Usagi drop- i also wasn't sure if this fits the found family category, as it deals with an actual family, but wth, it's my list i can do what i want lol. very sweet story about a guy who adopts his grandfather's 6 year old daughter when he dies (yes, his aunt, basically), when no one else in the family wants to take her in. it's very sweet, very touching. they slowly become a family, and he learns what it means to be a single parent, and what sacrifices he has to make (like getting demoted at his job so he'll have more time to take care of his kid). the show is very wholesome, but don't read the manga, as i heard it went in different, less wholesome directions.

12. kotaro lives alone- this show was a ride! i was expecting a silly show about a 4 year old boy who lives alone, and got a heartbreaking show about neglect and trauma. his neighbors become his family throughout the show, and come to love him a lot and take care of him, and their relationships are very entertaining and sweet. ngl, i cried a lot during this show. i do think it deals with some very triggering things, so you should check that before watching 😊

and.. that's it for now! these are the ones i thought about so far, please feel free to add your own recommendations! i would love to get more!

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kingofthering · 3 months

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I was thinking about the forced coming out au and how @moonshynecybin said Marc would keep blowing Vale out hot & cold and I had thoughts for one of the hot days.

Essentially, it's about the two of them getting invited to an LGBTQ event -thinking a gala/fundraiser situation maybe- (could be towards the end of June for pride month or later in the year depending on the timeline, details).

I think this kind of event could truly be double-edged for Marc because everyone is telling him that they admire him for what he did and that he's helping change things and that so many kids are gonna feel encouraged by this and— well, on the one side it makes Marc feel sick of their lie because he didn't come out for ~the good reasons™️ (didn't even really choose to come out, even) but the event also makes him realize that in the grand scheme of things, he is (they are) having an impact on so many people.

Anyway, for once Marc's brain decides to let him focus on the good aspect of things and he lets himself be close to Valentino that night, invites him to dance, lean his head on his shoulder, hold onto his arm when they're speaking to people together, kissing his cheek before he leaves Valentino's side to grab them drinks, etc etc

Valentino— Valentino is surprised in ways he didn't expect. He's essentially been begging Marc to provide more efforts in their whole charade and yes, he's happy to have Marc cooperating but also he had forgotten how tender Marc could be with him and that's something to process as well. He used to be scared of those moments back when they were just friends with benefits in their early years [obviously not the PDA but the softs moments after they had fucked, Valentino letting Marc linger in his bed when he would have already thrown away any other hook-up, Marc kissing his cheek before leaving his motorhome, Marc having a coffee for him when they had to attend safety meetings together, Marc dusting off feathers of Valentino's suit on stage, etc etc]. Scared because he couldn't let this 20-something insane fast boy think this was more than unserious sex and scared because Valentino was into it [no, home boy is not that self aware but just a bit, you know].

Anyway, they have a great night and in the taxi to their hotel, Marc has his hand laying in the middle seat and Valentino grabs it, squeezes it and asks Marc if he had a great time tonight. Marc squeezes back and nods [this is a very self-indulgent moment in the midst of an otherwise pretty angsty universe, bye].

Obviously they were booked a single room with a king bed and they find each other in the huge bathroom, both facing the mirror and getting ready for bed. Then, it's Marc asking Vale to help him undo the knot of his tie. It's Valentino offering his wrists to Marc so he can undo his cufflinks. It's the two of them being in each other's space, suppressing the room between them inch by inch until Marc just has to tilt his head up to find Valentino's mouth with his own.

It's achingly slow, at first. It reminds Valentino of the kiss they shared earlier that night on the dance floor. Despite their audience, it hadn't felt performative back then, not really. Now that they are without an audience, Valentino feels even more exposed.

They sleep together (sex so sweet it could actually make teeth rot) and fall asleep wrapped around each other. The next morning, Valentino wakes up in cold sheet and a handwritten note that says :

changed my flight to get home earlier see you in [wherever their next race is] Marc

#rpf #4693 #forced coming out au #my writing #and then marc is obviously back to flinching when vale touches him and it's like they are starting from point 0 all over again

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definesanity · 1 year

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I'm so happy that you like Elden Ring and SAGAU, because here's a concept I thought of recently and I'm dying to share it with someone - SAGAU Imposter AU, but with Ranni the Witch!Reader. Self-indulgence on my part (and Elden Ring spoilers) but hear me out:

- Canon Ranni has unusual allies, such as a troll blacksmith whose species are used as slaves in the Lands Between. Ranni!Reader who isn't the only one disgusted by the Archons' actions - Traveler and Paimon are officially done with the Seven's sh*t, and offer Ranni!Reader their help. The 'truth of this world' can wait, now that Traveler's seen the true face of the Archons. Maybe Nahida chose to be reasonable and stay out of it. Maybe the Tsaritsa is too busy with her own plans to care about some mere mortal 'stealing' the Creator's face. Either way the twins are reunited earlier than expected, and Ranni!Reader now has an army at her back.

- Canon Ranni stole a fragment of Destined Death to kill her flesh and Godwyn's soul. Ranni!Reader is the Creator, she has sovereignty over death in Teyvat. Ranni!Reader lets the Archons capture and publically execute her, to reveal her true identity (golden blood ✨️) and turn the mortals of Teyvat against their idiot Archons. Speaking of Archons, they're all horrified and panicking. The once-cheering crowd is in silent shock, then all hell breaks loose. The Hydro Archon, who struck the killing blow, becomes a soulless shell - a living corpse, just like poor Godwyn. Unlike Godwyn, not a single soul cries for Focalores. This was her punishment, after all. She brought this on herself.

- We don't know who crafted canon Ranni's doll body, maybe she did it herself. Maybe Ranni!Reader does the same, maybe she employs the services of a certain wandering puppet, or perhaps the doll body is a peace offering from a certain Fatui Harbinger...

- Canon Ranni wants to completely remove the influence of Outer Gods from the Lands Between. Ranni!Reader wants the same, just replace 'Outer Gods' with 'Celestia.' It's not dissimilar to what both the Abyss Order and the Fatui want. For all that the two groups hate each other, they are willing to accept Ranni!Reader's radical proposal. They can go back to killing each other when this is done, for all she cares, but they need to keep it together for this one plan.

- Canon Ranni takes the Tarnished as her consort in her ending. For Ranni!Reader - well, there's the Abyss twin and Traveler, for starters. The Adepti, Xiao and Ganyu, who turned their backs on Rex Lapis after Reader's execution. Childe, who's fighting style could translate perfectly into Elden Ring. Any one of the Anemo boys. Pick a fave and go for it, honestly.

- Canon Ranni, once the Erdtree is burned and the Elden Beast is dead, brings forth the Age of Stars and removes the influence of Outer Gods on the Lands Between. Ranni!Reader and co. crush Celestia, undo the curse on the people of Khaenri’ah, and Ranni!Reader purges Teyvat of divine influence forever - no more Archons, no more Celestial gods, no vague and infuriating requirements to 'earn' elemental powers - the elements can be wielded by anyone now if they have the stats, catalyst and slots for it. The people of Teyvat are free to take control their own destinies, for better and for worse. Still preferable to being divine pawns for uncaring gods.

- Canon Ranni, despite what the English translation would have you believe, departs the Lands Between for the stars, taking the not only her consort with her, but the Elden Ring itself, to ensure the Lands stay god-free. Ranni!Reader bids Nahida and the Tsaritsa a heartfelt farewell - they committed no crime against the Reader, so what is there to forgive? But then the other, now-mortal Archons come to grovel, desperately begging Ranni!Reader to stay, spewing endless apologies. Various Vision holders join in. Ranni!Reader is unmoved.

"Ye art not sorry for thine actions. Only that ye were wrong. Were I not thy God, but a regular mortal, ye wouldst feel no remorse. I care not that I wasn't recognized - I care that ye were willing to make up a crime, and kill innocent people for something they could not control. Monsters, the lot of ye. T'was worth it, I hope, this callous and heartless behavior - I loved ye once, truly, but no more." Ranni!Reader turns to the Vision holders, "If anyone, blame them," Reader points to the heartbroken Archons, "t'was them who caused this. Do what ye will with them - this is the last ye will ever see of me."

Ranni!Reader departs. Perhaps to other worlds, perhaps the Abyss. Perhaps she has a consort at her side. The twins and Paimon are believed to be in Khaenriah. Nahida and the Tsaritsa, now mortal, quietly settle into somewhat normal lives. The remaining traitorous Archon, now powerless, are left at the 'mercy' of their former worshippers. Centuries pass, and tales of gods become half-forgotten myth and legend.

I'm aware that this turned to complete word vomit, but I'm super excited that you wrote Tarnished!Creator SAGAU

Congratulations, you just made my fucking neurones activate xd

LIKE???? HOLY SHIT????

Now, consort-wise, I AM in a Faruzan mood... but I'll just go with Ganyu for now:

Yeah, I can see how that certain someone--Sandrone--would be one to craft Ranni!Reader's body; what would they be previously, however? A mere spirit, or perhaps their old body, before bringing about The Knight of the Black Knives?

I mean, gonna say this now; I did Ranni's quest and got her ending so... yeah xd

Still, ouch to Focalors; a Soulless husk of a body? Then again, imagine striking down on the Creator's neck and seeing the blood of your God. Focalors genuinely believes that she can do no evil. Well, perhaps now it's time for her to learn... the hard way.

KSKSIISJDSJDJ I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS MY FELLOW YOU JUST WROTE A GODDAMN MASTERPIECE--

Imagine other characters too; Millicent!Reader? Gideon Ofnir!Reader? Heck, Morgott!Reader sounds cool!

Still, thanks, I'll have to continue this later but sidnsjdjjddj thanks! And don't worry, always happy to see another Tarnished :3

If you have any other ideas, honestly? Feel free to share them! I'd love to hear them! :D

#ryuusei's replies #genshin impact #sagau #genshin cult au #elden ring

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little-peril-stories · 6 days

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Blood Garnet - WIP Intro

it's a working title leave me alone

Aka: WIP Wednesday / Vaguely Summarized WIP / I'm Desperately Trying to Get This Dumb Story Out of My System

DISCLAIMER: this stupid story is a silly, self-indulgent mess that would require a lot of hard work to make it, um, fit for human consumption. It was my little brain break between finishing The Queen of Lies and restarting The Court of Rogues. It may not ever get finished. 🤷‍♀️ So, uh, you're forewarned. 😇

OPEN TAG for WIP Wednesday, Vaguely Summarized Plot, or both 😊- there's a lot of nonsense in here so I feel bad subjecting even more people to it 😂

Let's use this cheeky lil post for some recent WIP Wednesday tags: Thank you @kaylinalexanderbooks and @sleepywriter00 for the tags! Posts here and here (same post chain).

Rules: Pick a WIP. Post something about it. On a Wednesday. Or whenever! It can be literally anything! 😊 (It does NOT need to be extra as this😅.)

Mood Board

don't anyone say anything about how there isn't a single gemstone on this mood board

What's It About?

Take a drink every time you see an element Kate's used before in other stories. 😅

Evyn, a schoolteacher, impulsively embarks on a journey in an effort to escape the chokehold of her small village, overbearing uncle, and inevitable (and unwanted) fate as someone’s happy little wife. It’s risky, of course: wild animals roam the woods, and she still doesn’t know the source of the mysterious lights that gleam through the darkness at night. However, she gets more than she bargained for—the forest is not what it seems, nor are those mystical yellow lights.

The Fae, creatures of legend, are real.

And they’re coming for her.

Vaguely Summarized Plot

Also using up another tag here! Thank you @mysticstarlightduck for this one! Posts here and here. The tag is kind of perfect for this seeing as I don't know much of the plot myself, so I have no choice but to be vague. :)

Rules: Summarize your WIP in 15 2-5 word bullet points (as if you were trying to summarize it in 15 seconds). (I didn't stick to the limit at all.)

✨ “So the forest's been kind of glowing lately? And no one but me seems to have noticed? Ok. Coolcoolcool.”

✨ “Get married? Me? Never!” Evyn Edition: Simply Not Interested But I Must Be Lying Because All Women Want to Get Married, Amirite?

✨ “Get married? Me? Never!” Jonathan Edition: Very Not Straight But Try Telling That To My Religious Zealot of a Father

✨ Jealous twin will NOT let his sister win control of their clan like she wins everything else, damn it (footnote 1)

✨ Emo loner who can’t go home (on pain of death) just wants these weird dreams about some random-ass human to please STOP (footnote 2)

✨ “I’m going to pursue independence! In another town! On a time crunch! By walking through the woods! At night! I’m a schoolteacher with no survival experience! This Is A Good Idea!”

✨ Grumpy grandma re: pesky human: What is her deal?

✨ “Hello yes hi I’m the emo loner. I’m unrealistically attractive. I saved you for reasons I won’t explain. But also I don’t talk to humans. Or Fae, really. Or. Like. Anyone. Not often anyway. What’s talking again?”

✨ “So, like, you're kind of hot … but you’re, uh, my enemy?? But I haven't figured that out yet?? And also, do we, like, have weird sexual tension, haha, or is it just me? Hahahaha! … But seriously, do we?”

✨ "Hey I know you have breathing issues or whatever, so you don’t like dusty or dirty or humid places, but … wanna take a shortcut through this super duper cool underground cave system?”

✨ “Haha, what? No?! There’s no reason I’m avoiding this area of the forest! Nope! No reason at all!”

✨ YOU get a betrayal! And YOU get a betrayal! And YOU get a—

✨ “Who is the monster and who is the man?” (footnote 3)

✨ This asylum makes the one in TQOL look like a vacation! (footnote 4)

✨ Sexy villainess gets to emotionally torture one MC and then physically torture another. AND psychologically torture them both! Hell, maybe she’ll even kill one of ’em too! Fun for the whole family!

Footnotes

(1) IT’S NOTHING LIKE ZUKO AND AZULA SHUT UP

(2) IT’S NOTHING LIKE RHYSAND AND FEYRE SHUT UP

(3) IT’S NOTHING LIKE QUASIMODO AND FROLLO SHUT—oh who am I kidding 🎶

(4) Technically the whole asylum thing happened in this story first, like, 2 or 3 years ago. That version just lives in a purple notebook that will never be seen by any eyes but mine. So, really, TQOL stole the asylum setting from BG, not the other way around.

Character Vibes

Evyn, human, orphaned as a child and raised by her aunt and uncle. Now a schoolteacher who sees yellow lights no one else can see.

“My heart cannot be captured. I intend to die an old maid, surrounded by papers and books. Good afternoon!”

Jonathan, human. Evyn's cousin, a clerk. Just truckin' on through a life he finds endlessly tedious and unsatisfying.

“Cecil’s a soggy piece of tree bark in a hat,” he said before he could stop himself.

Ah, Jonathan Garnet. A man who gained a single speck of favour with his impossible-to-please father…and promptly hurled it into the wind.

Dharan, Fae. Exiled from his clan years ago for murdering another Fae.

The Fae leapt up, standing straight and bending his knees as if to run—or perhaps pounce. One hand hovered over the stolen knife on his belt; the other, he extended to her.

He looked away from his foe to meet her gaze, uttering a single word:

“Run.”

Rennith, Fae. Heir to his clan but competing for the title against his twin sister.

He was a man, it seemed, but those eyes bespoke something much more ancient—of man, but not man himself. Silver hair, an impossible shade, framed a face sculpted into sharp angles, as cold and pale as if it were made of ice.

A Fae creature forged in primordial fire, carved from gold, silver, and mother-of-pearl.

For the Whump People Here:

Whumpy Things I've Managed to Squeeze into the First 13,000 words

Humiliation/embarrassment (minor)

Hyperventilation, dyspnea

Angst (minor)

Grabbed in the dark

Abducted

Restrained (but make it magic)

Magically forced to obey commands

Chin grab

Whumpy Things I've Got Planned But Haven't Written

Angst (major)

Stabbed

Various fight-related injuries I won't know till I write them

Betrayed by someone you trust

Drugged/knocked out

Humiliation/embarrassment (major)

Imprisoned

Taunted by the antagonist

More magic restraints (but turn it up to eleven)

Tortured (but make it magic)

Desperation, hitting rock bottom

A death fakeout or two or three

If you made it this far, you deserve a medal. 🥇

#lps blood garnet #pls excuse the constant self-deprecation #i love me - i do - but this story is pretty silly 😂#and i'm ok with that #writeblr #fantasy #mood board #lps mood board #tag game #wip wednesday #wip wednesday tag #vaguely summarized wip #vaguely summarized wip tag #open tag #writeblr open tag #writing #creative writing #wip intro #writeblr community

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viviennelamb · 5 months

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Hi Vivienne, do you have any more thoughts on Autonomous living/self sufficient people? I was amazed that there are people out there that can sustain themselves on such little food and water, or even nothing at all. I am skeptical of some peoples claims but I do believe it is possible. Its very hard to find information on this subject and i remember you mentioning Anastaysiya Zilevich, I listened to what she was saying and it sounds very liberating. I totally agree that the reason we over indulge in food is because we are lacking genuine connection with each other. Though she does promote sexuality and romance as a means of gaining energy and im doubtful about that. She also advises to get away from cities and tech use which i wouldn't be willing to do. Does meditation and connecting with God result in you naturally consuming less or is it something you consciously work on? Thanks! - autonomousgirl

Hello,

Isn't it interesting? Although many people believe physical perfection adhering to ever-changing beauty standards, it is really Self-mastery. Most people would rather engage in mindless work that they hate to satisfy their senses (and then complain about it) rather than attempt to overcome them. I understand that most people genuinely believe we need to eat, but at one point I was around drug addicts and they ate a few times a week because their senses were being satisfied by drug abuse so they forgot about food.

If one can overcome their desire to satisfy their senses, they are truly liberated from having to make money, needing shelter because the body doesn't get cold in when it's not spending its resources to digest food therefore reaching immaculate equanimity. The state of mind of an individual who isn't subject to senses is an amazing one as one is in a constant state of knowing they are in God's Dream. Ego Consciousness is the belief that we are the body and that what we do to the body (eating, sleeping, s*x) sustains or is the point of life. How we came to this point was through lust, the original sin.

Most of my blog is about autonomy! The autonomous lifestyle is synonymous with Self-mastery which can only be obtained through God Consciousness. So autonomy falls under the umbrella of attaining God Consciousness though autonomous people are more focused on the food and sleep aspect. People who can stop eating in this lifetime were on a spiritual journey previously or food caused them so much suffering they decided to stop eating or they have purified their minds to detach from the limiting ideas imposed on them since birth.

Recognizing how the Ego places us in a state of total ignorance is an important part of the autonomous lifestyle because one has to remove the belief that we have to eat to live. I don't talk about food anymore because a lot of people are getting triggered, due to their past eating disorders and projecting that onto me, so this aspect of the journey is what I've decided to keep to myself. Even thinking about true non-consumption is too advanced for everybody. Starting at the 1st and 2nd chakra and then moving on to the 3rd would be the individual's natural progression to reaching perfection. Overcoming lust is more feasible even though that is also advanced.

Not eating food is possible, everything is possible within Infinite Consciousness, but the path of liberating the soul from the body requires discipline. People who enjoy eating, which is everybody, have no reason to stop if they are okay with the suffering food brings them in exchange for the temporary sense of gratification from taste. However, there are people who genuinely suffer from consuming food and do not find a single food item enjoyable to eat, including the "healthiest" food one can think of. They do not have eating disorders nor are they mentally ill, unrealistic or making things up. Yes, most people are within the bell curve of living relatively well on some type of diet, but there are people outside of that bell curve who can eat literal garbage and live well as well as people who eat nothing and live well. It all depends on the individual's consciousness and one should eat for their constitution. An individual who thinks about lust all day, does drugs, spends 15+ hours a day on the internet, lives in filth has no business eating fresh fruits and vegetables - that would kill them. They need to eat cheetos, cake and only drink red bull to keep their bodies alive because that is their vibration.

The more you fast, the more you get used to not eating for longer stretches of time, but if one genuinely no longer wishes to eat, there will be a point where she just stops and it won't be difficult - same with lust.

Anastasiya still eats about 1-3 times a week and said it was not due to hunger, but an insatiable desire to satisfy the body. She said that her desire to eat is because the planet's vibration is low, but it's not the planet, it's her. Since she's engaging in the lust act, her nature demanding food is likely her issue as lust weakens one’s will (she sounded like she engages in sex a lot) and she doesn’t like meditation so she's not working on her control. She's keeping her food, drink and sleep down to a minimum because it brings her health issues.

Those who engage in lust can appear to have deluded forms of autonomy (lust positivity, working from home, communism, walking in nature, equality) but will never attain true liberation.

There were videos where she was attempting to describe God Consciousness from a worldly scientific perspective because she is highly educated and used to work in the sciences if I'm not mistaken. Swami Sri Yuteskwar explained the Holy Science of Evolution (and devolution). Humanity is currently in a devolved state where both which they desire and avoid brings them suffering because they don't want to reach a state of equanimity of the senses yet. The world will get to a point where the gratification of the senses will be seen as primitive, but that's during the Golden Age. The thing is the Dark Age and Golden Age can be achieved on an individual level. Anybody who is trying to achieve it through activism on a mass scale during this point in time is completely delusional. Those who have no interest in controlling their bodies have no hope of ending their suffering and are born slaves.

You do have to be with other people but in the way of being of service because we get energy from that from assisting humanity's evolution towards the Golden Age. If you restore another person's hope in humanity, that person is more likely to become good and that butterfly effect ripples into every lifetime ahead. Being selfish holds back the evolution of humanity - small acts of kindness go a long way. I hear the phrase "genuine connections" a lot and I'm not sure what people mean when we're already in a state of oneness, but Egos cannot connect which is why there's a loneliness epidemic. We're also never alone, but the individual in the Dark Ages believes they are.

Autonomous people emphasize that helping others is a requirement and one will gravitate towards that anyways if they're not eating and sleeping which takes up 70% of their time. Every "day" becomes immortalized.

When one has s*x, their energy is taken away and their mind isn't aligned with God, but with the senses which brings the individual down to Body Consciousness. You don't have to move from the city, refrain from using technology or move around constantly. Anastasiya is unable to remain still and needs to move from country to country because when she stays in one area for too long it becomes "stagnant." Her actions are a reflection of her state of mind - somebody who is pure will purify the area around them. Life will never become stagnant and the pure individual will never get bored. Even though the control of her food intake is impressive, it's better to eat and become calm than foodless and restless. If somebody wants to be nomadic, that's fine, but it appeared that she was still being controlled by something not of her own will which is not autonomous. Being around people who are on the same journey as you and at the very least having a Guru obviously helps, but the point of being autonomous is that you can maintain the lifestyle on your own.

Personally, I’m at the point where I only believe the claims of people who are God-Realized or have reached Samadhi and, surprise, it's easy to know who that is if they only talk about God. When I speak to a worldly person, I know they’re lying about whatever they’re talking about.

Meditating on not eating and being conscious about it are both required for liberation. SRF lessons teach everything you need to know about autonomy and you can use it for anything else you want to obtain. Everything you want is about learning how to control your consciousness so that you can lead your life in a particular direction. In your situation, you want to learn how to energize the body naturally requiring you to eat less food.

I recommend reading The Yoga Sutras of Pantajali. Pantanjali explains that concentrating one's energy on the pit of the throat will keep one's hunger satisfied, but to maintain this state of satiety, you will have to meditate to raise your consciousness. Non-eating is such a small part of Cosmic Consciousness but the autonomous' focus on food is a good thing to let people know that this lifestyle is possible. And it's helpful to people who find food detrimental to their health. If you still wish to eat, a Sattvic diet is ideal which is mainly plain raw foods that don't excite one's senses and to not eat too much. Your body will slowly become neutral to foods in this way along with eating the right amount because the body begins to like how a stretched stomach feels which is what most people are addicted to (as well as highly palatable food).

In the Autobiography of a Yogi, Paramahansa Yogananda talks about the time he visited Therese Neumann and Giri Bala, two women who did not eat.

Those who work towards God Consciousness obtain Omniscience, Omnipresence and, Omnipotence, so they can do anything and create anything out of nothing and are actually living in non-duality. For an individual to become God-Realized, they must devote their lives to God. If they can’t do that, then they can’t reach the highest state of consciousness which means they’re still subject to duality and therefore suffering.

#ask #yoga #spirituality #meditation #god consciousness #cosmic consciousness #autonomy

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obeyme-lost-thought · 8 months

Text

The little girl

Self-indulge AU to give me some motivation and write something because I literally disappeared (and you all duplicate, like, what 120?!).

Something happened with Barbatos's power and a teenager girl come out from a different timeline... the problem are her mother and uncles.

________________________________

As she was standing on the ground, her gaze was analysing every single one of them. Not even her Rad uniform could sell her as a demon, as she had a very particular Aura that could seem everything except demonic.

"Is she.."

"An Angel" - "A Human"

A perfect balance come form the girl, as if Heaven and Earth were both inside her.

"Eh-... Ehhhhh. What happened ? Why am I on the ground? Weren't us talking about the exchange students program? And why are you all here?"

A sweet voce that expressed surprise and fear filled the Council Room. Of course, no questions could had been asked if the girl continued to panic, so, trying to go on with what they thought was a delirium, Diavolo started to speak and try to calm her.

"Exchange students program? Are you maybe an exchange student? "

"Wha- what? Of course I am. It was you, Lord Diavolo, to specifically ask for me as one of the two representatives of my realm"

"I'm sorry to inform you, but here nobody has ever heard about you"

"Ehhhh. Is it a form of joke ?! How can you say that with them behind you?"

While the strange girl and the Prince were both trying to understand what the other was saying, the "problem's origin" had a open book near him, and after seeing what it was about (and its power), some questions found their answers.

"So, are you saying that Barbatos, the one and only perfect butler of hell, messed up with his power and so I'm in a different time line with a different story ?"

"Pretty much, yes, that how it went"

"But if I can say my thought, young master, the culprit isn't me, but the one who left open a dangerous book, hopping that somebody touched it "

At the and of the sentence, a guilty Satan looked at the butler, whispering a sorry.

"Anyway, leaving out guilty or punishment, how can I go back in my timeline?"

"That... the problem. To know the exactly timeline in which I have to send you back, I have to know the reason why it's... different(?)"

"Well, honestly from what I'm seeing, there are a lot of different things, precisely 7/8 people"

"It's not about people, but about event, so it isn't easy as you think"

...

Silence

No one try to talk, as for knowing what is the difference, one of the two part had to tell the other one all the secret and events that take them in th Council Room.

"Well, why don't she try to stay here some week and wait for one of us to found out the difference? No say every single event of our life. No problem. Only the one which change our time line. When we found out, Barbatos can send her in this moment of her timeline."

"That... a good idea Mc. She can stay at Purgatory Hall."

That how, somehow, a temporary solution was found out, and the girl as been living in this Devildom for quite a month.

From her words, she's more older than what Solomon thought, but at the same time she's more younger that what Simeon thought.

For some reason she's half angel and half human, but she doesn't want to say who are her parents, as she swear that only the one who she trusts a lot can know, making clear that she still wary of them.

Her name is Rachel as it mean ewe or lamb and was a way for her mother to ask protection form God for her. This implemented that her birth wasn't well accepted in Celestial Ream. But the real reason why she specified it was for MC, a true lamb.

For all the time she was as been there, the more asked questions was about the brothers and MC. The latter, actually, was more about their nature, similar to her as they also emitted both angelic and human energy. But that was also a secret that nobody wanted to say.

In this way, a game of questions, lie, answer and secrets started, while everyone become more fond of the girl.

The relationship with Rachel and the brothers was very strange. She always felt safe with them, even if no things were made for make her feel this way. And they didn't hate if this other lamb wanted to pass her time with them. Lucifer and the Twins especially felt very protective, not that the others were more different. Stargazing with Belphi were became a daily to-do, as cooking with Beel. Lucifer started to ask her for some favor, having a lot of trust in her. Reading time with Satan or Levi (with manga of course) ... go out to shopping with Asmo... or helping Mammon get some money in a legal way. A strong bond created, thing that surprised the brothers but not Rachel.

As 2 month passed and trust grow bigger, the 2 parts chose to answer onesty one question. Because they are more, Brothers and MC were the firsts to answer, not knowing that it would be enough to found out the true.

"Let just say that I'm curious and I saw a so much difference that I don't have an actually question. So, MC, why are you... this way?"

"Well, it's difficult to explain... do you know the angel Lilith?"

"Why? Of course I know her... and very very well"

"Better this way. I'm the descent of the former angel Lilith"

....

A sad face appear on the girl.

"What... what do you mean former?"

Simeon, that with Diavolo and Barbatos was also there, said what nobody wanted to.

"Rachel... Lilith is dead"

Tears start to fall form eyes that watch and analyse every one as the first day that she was there.

"Again, what do you all mean? Dead?

As the girl continues to ask always the same question about his sister, Mammon lose his cool and scream against her.

"YES, SHE'S DEAD. THAT IT, SO STOP WITH ALL THIS QUESTIONS. IT'S OUR TOURN"

But still, even a louder voice didn't stopped her. And so, in a sound full of pain, an important part of the puzzle slipped form her lips.

"AGAIN, WHAT DO YOU ALL MEAN? MY MOTHER ISN'T DEAD"

On Mammon, holding him from the collar of the shirt, both of them stopped to scream to cach their breath.

"I- I... mother?"

No answer.

"Can I... can I ask another question? It was the second one in my list... Why- why are you a demon uncle Mammon?"

Let's not say more on the discussion, as everyone didn't actually said anything more, and for good 10 minutes stayed in the pose they had before. More questions were added and not even Belphagor sleeped the night.

In the morning, everyone more calm, the one and only things that was needed to be known started to have a form.

"So... you are Lilith's daughter" Asked Lucifer with a rather sweet voice for the situation

"And here mom died" Rachel said.

....

Mammon break the silent: "We fought against our father to protect our sister, and loosed. That why we are demons". Words that wanted to answer the question of the day before.

"My ... uncles also fought for mom and me, but not against grandpa"

"Your father... who is he?"

"I- I don't know my father. He died for a lliines"

"Here, our Lilith, tried to save his lover, probably your dad, with angelic food. That why she was doomed from God"

"Ah... I think I know the difference between our timeline.."

Before starting to talk again, Rachel take a deep breath.

"My mother wanted to save dad the same way she did here, but she couldn't because she was already pregnant... with me.

Having an child with a human, mom called me the way she did hopping to get God's approval for my existence. As he never said anything, I was accepted in the Celestial Realm.

Still, older angels were against it and so a war started. It was already declared the winner, as Uncle Lucifer had help form the other Serafin and his precious brother. Only one time me and mom end up in a very dangerous situation, and Uncle became so angry that Uncle Satan born, not as a demon, avatar of wart, but as an angel, protector of human hybrids.

With the start of the exchange students program, Lord Diavolo asked expecially for me, as I was a representative of both realm... and that explain why I was in the Council Room 2 months ago"

... Nobody tried to say anything or ask something alse. But Leviathan felt the true form his brothers... jealousy. A timeline where they were all together. Where their family was happy and alive.

What no one knew was Diavolo's relief for having Lucifer, or Barbatos choosing this timeline as his reality because it was the most convenient for the Prince. Or Mc's fear of a world where they never met everyone.

And in the end, no more things come out, as Rachel wanted more than before come back in her timeline, and Barbatos didn't lose time in sending her back.

________________________________

X: How many story want to create that have a new character or some reference to Lilith ?

Me: Yes

It was an Au that I wanted to perfect and make it a fanfiction, but I never was able to do it, so single post where I try to explain it as best as possible.

For any grammatical errors, tell it to my clock (3:00 am).

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the-moth-from-elsewhere · 1 month

Text

since I forced Xeya to do it, here’s my epic opinions on every single Taocc ship. Cheese and crackers here we go.

for the sake of my sanity, I’ll only be sticking to either plausible or canon ships, and sectioning them off

The Canons That I’m A Part Of

Heartstrings - 10000/10 (they make me happy and they’re definitely one of my personal comfort ships please they’re so cute, they bounce off each other so well)

Goldenrain - 10/10 (my heart can’t handle the sheer amount of sweetness, I didn’t expect to like them so freaking much but guess what I do)

Yelena x Silhou - 6/10 (They’re kinda underdeveloped but I attribute that to the irl stuff that was happening at the time and poor pacing. There’s a version of them in my head with much more nuance and depth, but due to everyone being busy, that depth hasn’t really been realized yet. I still love them, and really want to see them developed in the future)

Rationality (guidance and reason) - 9/10 (Guilty pleasure ship, but I can see why nobody other than me and Lily would really care. Still, I love them to bits, they live in my head rent free, and I love their dynamic.)

Northeast - 10/10 (They’re really vanilla but whenever everything else is going to heck, they’re a nice pillow of fluff to fall back on. I love me a good “they’re two halves and they fit perfectly” ship, and they deserve the nice long break they’ve gotten. I do wanna bring them back tho.)

Arthur x Verie - 10/10 (You don’t see them often, but they deserve the world and make me feel good. They’re one of my best executed ships that use only my characters, and their backstory is just pure self indulgent cuteness oh my lands)

Merc and Juliet - 7/10 (love them to bits, just haven’t had he time to develop them yet :I)

Second Chance - 10/10 (Cute. Made of sugar. No notes.)

Ciana x Apollo - 10/10 (background characters, but it works and is cute)

The Canons that I’m Not A Part Of

Sigilbeam - 8/10 (entirely because I just want to see them more and see more nuance from them. I love them so, so much. Please I want more relationship development with them)

Crobias - 8/10 (Okay this is entirely personal taste. They’re fun, their dynamic is unique, but it’s just not my thing as much as it is others. But that’s probably just the whole “violence is always the answer” thing. They’re entertaining, tho, and they bounce off of each other surprisingly well, and are supportive and functional even if they’re kinda nuts, and I really appreciate that)

Lancia - 10/10 (SHJDEJSJOSJSUSJSJJSJSS LANCIA OH MY LANDS THEY’RE SO CUTE NO NOTES I COUOD GO ON FOR HOOOOOURS SJDHDKMEEJJDNDJEMDKSKSMSK)

Sob - 5/10 (Once again, personal taste. A bit too explicit for me, and holy crabs the angst must I even elaborate the angst is WILD. But if they ever broke up they’d need a REAL good reason or else I would SCREAAAAAM)

Egypt Yaoi - 4/10 (a bit too…much for me, but that’s personal taste again. The dynamic is very interesting tho, I’d just like to see more development from them.)

Gunshot/The ATF - 10/10 (You wouldn’t think it could work but it absolutely does. Finally, a functional ship for Mix. Please don’t hurt them-)

Pyxel x Thanatos - 5/10 (…They exist. I’m pretty neutral on them. At least they’re functional! And haven’t had too much angst!)

Latte x Lata - 7/10 (Forbidden love, aww. Please someone get them therapy /pos)

Firestone - 8/10 (not as into them because I just haven’t seen much of them, but like…So many subversions of typical shipping it makes me happy lookit themmmmm)

Hammer x Chaos - 5/10 (*shrug*)

Zombie x Skeleton - 7/10 (no notes, they’re entertaining)

It could’ve happened or is on the way to happening/Plausibly could happen/did happen at some point but isn’t anymore/miscellaneous noncanon

Mix x Silhou - 7/10 (The exes of all time, I could see it but moving on makes more sense for their character arcs)

Null Island - 10/10 (Yes. No notes.)

Alcoholove - 9/10 (So nonfunctional but so entertaining to watch. Yandere Drunkie was fun. Would never want it to be canon tho for both of their sakes.)

Bob x Affection anon - 3/10 (Remember this?? Yeah me neither.)

Samuel x Alexander - 7/10 (Neutral from lack of development so far, but we’re really early in so ye. Their dynamic is funny tho I like it)

Yelena x Charles (her ex) - 6/10 (it was nice while it lasted and left them both better off for it.)

Yelena x Any of Her Other Exes - 0/10 (FRICK. NO.)

Conny x Starro - 7/10 (yes, also no notes, just really early in)

Mage x Alchemist - Idk/10 (it…happened? I guess?)

Sign x Avian - 3/10 (Amusing and interesting. But also no.)

Damsel x Pharaoh - 4/10 (Fun while it lasted, but they both deserve different and it wouldn’t work nowadays.)

Damsel x Ace - 5/10 (Underdeveloped as frick but hey it’d be cute)

Helpful x Lucy - 5/10 (they amuse me. And I kinda like it. Not entirely my thing but hey)

Switch x Mocha - 6/10 (it’s cute what can I say)

TragedyShipping - 8/10 (yes.)

Switch x Nova - 6/10 (it’s also pretty cute what can I say)

Kopi x Mix - 2/10 (Entertaining but no.)

Kopi x Kumo - 2/10 (many feelings)

Hexe x Slynn - 0/10 (FRICK NO.)

Nuffle x Bob - 2/10 (remember THIS?? YEAH, ME NEITHER.)

The Dialtone Singularity (please help me)

Helliphone - 7/10 (enemies to lovers let’s go. But Gunshot is better.)

Prank Call - 1/10 (name is funny but NO.)

Helpline - 3/10 (any ship with helpful confuses me)

Dialchemist - 7/10 (shockingly functional)

Dialtone, just Dialtone - 3/10 (it’d save us the headache, that’s for sure)

Toxic Helpline - 6/10 (the og start to this madness, the sheer power imbalance is a bit of a dealbreaker for me but Dialtone has power imbalances with pretty much everyone he’s shipped with. That’s one of the reasons helliphone scored higher)

Helliphone plus toxic helpline - ???/10 (what)

Belle x Dialtone - 3/10 (morbidly curious as to how this would go)

toxic helpline plus belle - 3/10 (the morbid curiosity continues)

Toxic helpline plus Helliphone plus belle plus Lucy - screaming/10 (This is getting out of hand)

The Ultimate Phone Polycule (Dial x the entire circus) - 1/10 (1 point for sheer absurdity but otherwise frick no this does NOT work on so many levels)

Absolutely Not Happening

Nebonade - 0/10 (NO)

Spirals - 6/10 (poor Spring man)

Neb x Cardlan - 0/10 (The more y’all say it the less I like it)

Clara x Kumo - 0/10 (absolutely freaking not)

Mix and Drunkie get back together - 1/10 (entertaining but NO)

Bob x Belle - 1/10 (no.)

Dusk x Mix - 2/10 (interesting while it lasted, but no thanks.)

Easton x Lattia - 2/10 (not happening, never again.)

Raina x Icia - 3/10 (mmmmmno. I can see the logic but no.)

Achilles x Odette - 3/10 (doesn’t work for reasons. It’s an interesting thought.)

Achilles x Icia - 4/10 (interesting but no.)

Latte x Mocha - 0/10 (HA. NO.)

Clown x Carbine - 1/10 (doesn’t work on so many levels, but amusing)

Clown x Mix - 0/10 (if anyone ships this I’m gonna need a lot of explanations)

Icia x Arthur - 5/10 (it’d take breaking a lot of stuff to work but I could see it in a very different AU)

Icia x Aoki - 5/10 (In another world, it could work.)

Dusk x Sun - 0/10 (I will kill you, you will die.)

The Platonics. All of these are completely platonic ships.

Birdhouse (Clara and Chip) - 1000/10 (the parent and son of all time, please I love them so much)

Vaga and Nova - 8/10 (Awww…supportive brothers lezz go)

Sun and Dusk - 10/10 (please their dynamic is so nuanced and fascinating I have gone on for pages about them)

Latte and Mocha - 10/10 (the adoptive siblings of all time)

Mix and Silhou - 8/10 (supportive. :) )

Mix and Dusk - 10/10 (I love it, no notes)

Arthur and Icia - 10/10 (very interesting foils)

Odette and Yume - 8/10 (kinda sad but siblings aww)

Alpenglow and Silhou - 7/10 (can you tell I like found family yet??)

Suns entire family unit - 10/10 (so dysfunctional and nuanced it’s fascinating please give me more)

Mage and Lann - 7/10 (amusing.)

Lann and Alpen - 10/10 (MY HEART MY HEART MY HEART)

GTA4 - 1000/10 (I love how they all bounce off of and compliment each other so much, I could go on for hours about just these four. They bring out the depth in each other.)

Bob and Sun - 9/10 (mmmm angst)

Neb and Lemonade, platonic ver. - 10/10 (they make me happy, no notes)

Neb and Cardlan, platonic ver. - 10/10 (“has a big ego” “not helping”. Yes. It’s funny.)

Lemonade and Cardlan - 8/10 (I want more of this)

Guidance and Mix - 5/10 (has potential.)

Switch and Dialtone - 4/10 (way different personalities and barely exists but could be interesting)

Arthur and Chip - 10/10 (you don’t see them much but they’re fun, chip definitely won the found family lottery)

Yelena and Verie - 6/10 (they’re nice, and get along well enough)

Merc, Nymn, and Flare - 8/10 (more pls)

Aoki and Icia - 10/10 (SIBLINGS SIBLINGS SIBLINGS SIBLINGS)

Simon, Katrina, Octavia, and Steven - 100/10 (They make me ill in all the good ways)

Mix. By himself. - It’s complicated/10 (Essentially this is Mix with no romantic partner but in a “is okay without it” way. It’s interesting to me as a form of character arc for him, even if it’d never happen.)

Kumo and Clara platonic ver. - 7/10 (amusing to me)

Icia’s entire little friend circle - 1000/10 (amazing no notes)

#Taocc #cheese and crackers this was LONG

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