#their actions that day made me cry a lot. it didn't seem like they care that hurt. & i realize those two though. they don't . yeah. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flowerprincesscherryblossom · 1 year

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bully me - chapter one

pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Female Reader word count: 1401 warnings: angst, smut, explicit language, bully kook, daddy dom kook, bathroom sex, dub-con, degradation kink, choking, breathplay, spanking, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, creampie, dirty talk, dacryphilia series masterlist A/N: request - hiii ! can you do an enemies to lovers where bully!jungkook catches the reader playing with herself and it just turns into smut ? with a daddy kink pls ? i love your writings and i hope you have an amazing wonderful day ! Hope you like it and that you have a wonderful day wherever you are💜

Maybe you had a bit of a masochistic side, it would explain a lot.

Jeon Jungkook had been bullying you for as long as you can remember - pulling your hair, pushing you against the lockers, tripping you over, ripping all of your hard-working papers, name-calling you, the whole shebang. It was the way you'd react to everything that left you puzzled.

Like yeah, you'd cry because there's so much a person can take before they burst, but even with your tears still fresh, you felt a sudden need between your legs, of which you'd quickly escape to the bathroom, lock yourself in a stall, and get some sweet release.

Today was no different.

After making you trip and fall in the middle of the hall and ripping your homework into pieces you made your usual run to the bathroom, ignoring anyone that called your name.

Entering the bathroom you were quick to lock yourself in a stall, pulling up your skirt and pushing your panties to the side, not really caring if you weren't alone.

You ghosted your fingers over your slit, trying to tease yourself, before sliding your finger between your dripping folds as your thumb started to make circles around your clit, all the while as you bit your free hand in order to muffle your moans.

Inserting another finger you fasten your pace, head thrown back against the stall and so lost in your own pleasure that you had failed to notice when someone stepped into the bathroom, however, when the knocks on the door happened you were quick to stop.

More knocks came and you remained petrified, not knowing what your next move would be. Hell, you didn't even know if you were still breathing.

The knocks became rougher until, suddenly, one bang against the door was enough to open it. Your eyes widen when you saw that the person was none other than the reason for you to be playing with yourself in the first place - Jeon Jungkook.

"Well, well, well," he smirked looking at you from head to toe as you lowered your head in shame and started to bite your bottom lip. "So this is what you do when you run from me."

He stepped closer and closed the door behind him. You were screwed. Not only had your bully found out what you did but you were alone with him, meaning he could do whatever he wanted to you and nobody would be none the wiser. You just hoped that he would go easier on you.

The silence was suffocating you, you wanted to run away from him as fast as you could but you knew that he would easily catch you, and the punishment would only be worse. "J-Jungkook I-I-"

As the words fell from your lips he was quick in tightly gripping your hair and forcefully pushing you against the stall, pinning you between the wall and his chest. "Did I say that you could talk?"

You whimpered, feeling tears start to form as the familiar need between your legs made itself known once more, making you start to rub your thighs. Despite your best wishes, the action didn't go unnoticed, Jungkook's eyes focusing on your legs with a cheshire smile on his face.

"Oh you absolute slut," his grip on your hair tighten, making you let out a whine. "So desperate, I could do anything to you and you'd still thank me, wouldn't you?" at your lack of a response Jungkook's free hand moved to wrap around your throat, squeezing it forcefully. "I demand an answer bitch."

"Y-Yes," you said as your nails dug into your palm.

Letting out a hum your bully seemed pleased with you, as he released you from his grasp, however you could barely regain your breath as you felt his fingers rubbing the wetness around your covered slit.

"Hmmm, so wet for me already," you let out a gasp as he pulled your panties to the side and inserted two fingers into you, pumping them at a rapid pace. You tried to push him away but that only resulted in him taking both of your wrists and holding them above you.

Leaning closer Jungkook whispered in your ear, his voice lower than before. "You're gonna be a good slut for daddy, aren't you?"

He removed his fingers from you, waiting for your answer as you debated on whether you should or shouldn't tell him, especially considering that the situation you found yourself in was basically a dream come true.

After much back and forth you decided what the hell, it wasn't like that his words and actions hadn't an effect on you, even before today. "I'll be good."

Hand on your chin, Jungkook forced you to look at him. "Louder!"

"I'll be daddy's good slut."

With a smirk Jungkook pulled your panties down, putting them in his back pocket, and then his length out of his pants, giving it a few strokes, before wrapping one of your legs his waist and positioning himself at your entrance.

"You're gonna be quiet," his hand on to you tightly. "Not gonna get caught because of a slut that doesn't know how to keep her mouth shut."

Jungkook slammed into you at full force, making you let out a loud moan, causing him to slap you across the face with his free hand before gripping your hair with it.

"What the fuck did I just say?" With a tsk he took your panties out and stuffed them in your mouth. "Stupid bitch, doesn't even know how to follow simple directions," slamming into you once again, you arched your back and let out a muffled scream, your nails digging into his shoulders.

"Oh fuck," his thrusts were rough and fast, snapping his hips against you with such force, the sounds of lewd squelching and of your body constantly hitting against the wall bringing you closer to your high.

"You're so tight for daddy - ah f-fuck - I should've done this sooner." Jungkook gripped your other thigh, pulling you closer to him and pinning you between the two, in such a way that you knew would leave bruises.

And you couldn't be happier, as you threw your head back at his unrelenting pace.

"You like taking daddy's big fat cock?" At your muffled moan Jungkook pulled your panties out with his teeth and then spit them to the ground, proceeding to give your ass a hard smack. "Answer me whore!"

"Y-Yes! I-I love daddy's big cock," you felt yourself getting closer to your end, your walls clenching around his length as he kept ramming into you. "D-daddy, I-I'm c-close."

"Then come," his fingers began to rapidly rub your clit. "Come all over daddy's cock."

With the combination of his words and actions, it wasn't long before your knot broke and you released, drenching him in your juices.

As your walls gripped him like a grapevine Jungkook's thrusts became sloppier, jackhammering into your cunt as he chased his high. With a few more thrusts and a whiny cry of his name, he tipped over the edge, shooting deep inside you and painting your walls with his warm release.

As you both caught your breath Jungkook slowly slid out of you, carefully letting you stand on your own feet and gathering the cum that started to spill and fingering it inside.

"You're gonna be good and keep it in, if I see a single drop I'll guarantee that you won't be able to sit tomorrow," the gaze he gave you almost made you want to hide from it. "Understood?"

"Y-Yes daddy,"

"Good girl," after pulling his pants back up Jungkook bent down, picked up your panties, and shoved them in his back pocket. "I'm keeping these."

Your eyes widen at his words, was he just trying to make your life harder? " B-but then, how am I supposed to-"

"Try," he shrugged. "I'll meet you when school's over and then I'll take you to my house."

"Why?" you asked confused, he never made any effort of trying to interact with you before.

"Because now that I had a taste of you, I'm not letting go," he pinned you between the wall and his chest once again. "And besides," he got closer to ear. "I have some interesting things that I know will make you so wet for me, and I can't wait to try them."

#bts #bts fanfic #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic

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sinner-sunflower · 1 month

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A HH Lucifer-centric AU 21/?

PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 22

Enjoy!

-----------------------------------------

When Lucifer awoke again, Alastor was no longer there. He shifts to find Marigolds all over his bed with a note.

'To keep you from missing me, my lonely King. - Alastor'

Lucifer lets out a chuckle, picking up a Marigold to smell. He doesn't remember falling asleep but it was probably the best sleep he had had in a while. No dreams, no memories- just sleep. He would cry if the circumstances were different.

There's a bowl of cold gumbo on his bedside table and the sight made his stomach growl. He takes a bite and almost moans. Man, was he really this hungry? He didn't even think he could still get hungry as he doesn't need food to survive.

The opening of his door interrupted his gumbo filled thoughts to reveal Charlie who was carrying more flowers.

Lucifer: Char-char?

Charlie yelps in surprise, dropping the newly arrived flowers on the ground. He moves to help her but she hastily stops him.

Charlie: No, dad! It's fine, I got this. Sorry, you just surprised me. Haha. When I came back you were asleep again.

Lucifer: Sorry for startling you, sweetie. Are those still for me?

Charlie: Really, it's okay dad. And yes! From Uncle Leviathan. I think he's competing with Alastor of who can give you more flowers plus some denizens leaving some too, which is a problem because I think we're running out of room here. But I don't mind! I'm just glad you're appreciated.

Lucifer: oh..

Charlie, noticing her father's change in demeanour, gave him a sympathetic smile and comes closer. She holds his hands in hers and locks eyes with him.

Charlie: You saved all of Hell, dad. And a lot of people want to thank you for it. They want you to see that they care the moment you wake up. These flowers? This was actually Alastor's idea. He kind of let it slip that you're love language is gifts and he always appreciated when you gave him one. Don't tell him I said that.

Lucifer: It is?

Charlie: The hotel was getting a bit hounded of demons who wants to see and thank you. It was getting out of hand but then Alastor went on air.

She pulls out her phone, tapping her fingers until she found what she was looking for.

Alastor: Salutations, citizens of Hell! To commemorate this joyous day, the Hazbin Hotel is accepting gifts that one wish to give to our beloved King as a sign of appreciation for his valiant efforts! Gifts will be screened by hotel residents/staff first. No sneaking past our eyes now!

Alastor's voice through the recorded broadcast blares from her speaker.

Alastor: Failure to comply to this simple rule and you'll earn a special guest appearance in my radio broadcast. I'm very much excited to see anyone who tries haha!

Charlie: A lot of people were asking what you would like. But as soon as they saw royals coming in with flowers, they just went with that too. I've never seen Hell be this united before and it's because of you, dad. It's not perfect but... it's a step in the right direction.

It warms Lucifer's heart that his actions are helping his daughter's dream even by just a little. He didn't even care about what people might think of him after the whole thing but his daughter seem happy and that's the only thing that matters.

Suddenly, a thought came to mind.

Lucifer: Goodie!

Charlie: Goodie? Was that the woman you brought from Earth?

Lucifer: Yes. Where is she?!

Charlie: I don't actually know. Last I heard, she disappeared.

Lucifer: Huh?

Charlie: As still acting Queen, Uncle Satan told me that he managed to capture Goodie and put in custody but then a day later, he said she's just....gone. Some of his imps are out looking for her.

Lucifer: Knowing her, she may have already been on Earth. Damn it!

Charlie: Dad... what happened in there? I passed out before you went in and when I woke up, you guys were already here.

Lucifer: You passed out?! Are you okay, applepie??

Charlie laughs, pushing away her dad's fussy hands.

Charlie: I'm fine, dad. I was just worried about you. You really scared me.

Lucifer: Sorry.

Charlie: I said it's okay. But stop avoiding my question.

Lucifer: What question?

Charlie: Dad... You went to Earth to find this Goodie, to ask her for help. Help she couldn't give and in the end you're the one who still had to risk his life. Angel and the others said you were there for hours and then when you did come out, you look- You're not you! Aunt Bee said your aura was so bad, she couldn't stop vomiting. Please dad. Something happened in there.

Lucifer: .... Goodie's seal didn't work because it apparently needed to be in close contact with what you are using it for. As the strongest there, I was the most viable to perform it in close range. We couldn't risk losing someone just to see if it would kill them.

A little white lie would hurt no one (biggest misconception ever). But he couldn't bring it up to Alastor and definitely not to his daughter. Roo never said it has to be a secret but Roo isn't dictating his body yet so he'll make this one tiny stupid decision himself.

Lucifer: As for my appearance, it looks like Goodie's seal had side effects. Maybe being exposed to the toxic environment that closely altered my body. In the end, I'm not so sure. And this?-

He gestures to himself.

Lucifer: -Is a small price to pay for Hell's safety. For your safety.

Charlie: I'm sorry.

Lucifer: What? What for, honey?

Charlie: For what I said that day. I hurt you and I'm-

Lucifer: We both hurt each other, Charlie. As the parent, I should've done better. You were just a child. You were my child. And I abandoned you as much as Lilith abandoned us. I lost a wife but you? You lost both of us. And I could never blame or hate you for thinking that way.

Charlie: But, I would never wish that! I want you here as much as I want Mom. But the difference is, you're actually here, supporting me. Even if you weren't there from the beginning, you're here for the future. And I- I can't be more thankful you're still here.

She's sobbing now. The tears just won't stop and she feels herself being pulled in a hug.

Charlie: So stop punishing yourself, dad.

The King of Hell looks up at the ceiling, trying to blink the tears threatening to fall away. Why now? Why when he's finally reconnecting with his daughter? When he has a partner who loves him again? Why did Roo choose him? Why is this happening just when he's just learning to care and love for it?

He thinks about Roo's words-how his life will end one way or another, about the daughter he's going to make an orphan, the partner he's going to eventually widow, the found family who wormed their way into his heart, and a Kingdom he'll leave in ruins.

Lucifer can only hope that they come out alright, even if he doesn't.

Lucifer: I'll try my best, sweetie.

Charlie: Don't leave me again, dad.

He hugs tight like it's the last as he lets her continue to cry on his chest.

'Oh, Father. Is there anything more undoing than a child?'

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lying-on-floors · 2 months

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I've seen people say that Loser Baby is comparing gambling addiction to abuse but it actually isn't. It's a song about solidarity between two broken people. It's a song that says, "hey, I know life is shit but you don't have to go through it alone." It's a song that says, "I'm here for you, anytime you need." It's a song that says, "I care about you."

Despite Charlie coming from a good place, she accidently made things worse, which does happen in real life when people try to help the abused, so, he was probably embarrased and terrified. Husk didn't mention much about the absue Angel is facing, he knows it's not his place, and that's what Angel needed, the reminder that he is a person, no matter how fucked up, outside of his abuser.

A common pattern in cases of abuse is that the victim doesn't stand up for themselves or fight back against their abuser because of immense fear. As someone who has been experincing abuse by the hands of a caregiver for almost NINE years now, I know this fear very well.

(TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE) The other day, my abuser and I were arguing, not an uncommon occurence, but I said "says you" as a response to them calling me a bitch and they were silent for a few seconds, staring at me with hatered and while I was walking away, they grabbed me by the chin and pushed me into the couch, on top of our dogs by the way, and they held me down with their weight, calling me direspectful and just being overall threatning. I was struggling to get up because no one likes being held down against their will, but I couldn't because they were able to easily overpower me, so I told them to get off of me or I will slap them, they laughed and didn't move, so, I slapped them and when I relaized what I just did, my heart stopped and I could feel terror take over my body. They were so shocked that they moved off of me and stared at me like I did that unprompted. They were pissed and told me to get up, and I didn't, because I knew they wanted to beat me across the face, and I didn't want that, so I froze and said "no." Afterwards, they began twisiting the whole thing, making it seem like I started it because "I don't know when to shut up."

After it was done, I didn't cry or show any feelings other than indifference, not because it didn't affect me, it obviously did, but because my mind and body were in survival mode, and it couldn't let me dwell on anything or process my feelings or what happened to me until after I was safe. And it didn't suprise me that they did what they did, as it's happened so many times before, but I was still scared and if it was anyone other than my abuser, I would've immediately fought back, no hesitation. They still haven't apologized, they never do, and when they do, it feels so ingenuine. They also say "I love you" but it feels so empty because you don't love someone and treat them that way.

Fighting your abuser is a lot harder when you love them, and sometimes it's better, and safer, to help the victims feel less alone than it is to take action against their abuser for them.

#hazbin hotel #tw abuse #angel dust hazbin hotel #husk hazbin hotel #angel dust x husk #huskerdust #valentino #i hate him #vivziepop #hellverse #loser baby #angel dust #husker x angel dust #husker hazbin hotel

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lazyneonrabbitt · 5 months

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Why didn't you tell me?

Daryl Dixon x Reader

You follow him into the woods on the one night he asked you to stay away.

🐺 🐺 🐺

Daryl was always a distant person, ever since you met at the farm. Over time you had gotten closer, bonding over shared skills and hunting together.

That did take some convincing on your side but eventually after having you so some practicing he started taking you along.

Right before the farm fell you even started sharing a tent. He cared for you a lot, and even though he hadn't said those three dreaded words it still showed through his actions.

When your group finally made it to the prison your cell was right next to where Daryl slept. You shared your first kiss in that cell, and many more in the watch tower.

But now that you were close all the time you started picking up on some of his more strange habits.

One of those being his periodic three-day hunts. They happened every month and were always three days, like clockwork. He did always bring back a really nice haul but you never believed his reasoning of seeing the best under the full moon's light.

Tonight he was leaving again. He had made sure the group knew he would be gone on one of his longer hunting trips but you only faked your belief and had plans of your own.

Shortly after he lad left you stalked out after him.

It was fairly easy to follow him as he left his bike close to the edge of the woods and went further in on foot. You followed far enough away for him not to notice and watched as he treaded through the forest with a clear path in mind. It all seemed to be normal until he reached what looked like a small stash box. Taking in your surroundings you noticed remnants of a watch post and a fallen tree only a couple feet away. You held your body entirely still as you watched your boyfriend set his weapons in the crate, followed by his winged vest and ..the rest of his clothing?

All you could do was watch. If he found you now you could kiss your relationship goodbye.

He stayed low as he looked up at the night sky, kneeling in the dirt of the clearing that let in the moonlight almost perfectly. The whole scene before you was one you would have loved to photograph back in the day. The dark lines of Daryl’s tattoos and the scars he had kept hidden from you until now standing out against the bright blue of the moon that cast an almost magical glow over the forest.

Your attention was quickly pulled back to Daryl as he let out a sound that sent you into a full body panic. Eyes wide, unable to look away you stared as he hunched over and let out a pained cry, his body twitching as he seemed to change shape, the faint sound of bones snapping caught your ears. It was like a scene from a horror movie where the main character runs into the monster that lurked in the forest near their vacation cabin. He writhed on the forest floor as you watched his spine tore through his skin and form a tail and his legs filled out and elongated into beast-like hind legs. Fur grew along his bulking out frame as the lower hand of his face seemed to push out into a muzzle before he stood before you, fully changed and howled into the night sky.

Your hands covered your mouth as you fought back a gasp as reality set in. You thanked the gods he didn’t hear you but instead crouched back onto all fours and ran off deeper into the woods.

You now knew why Daryl left for real, but couldn’t make it back to the prison in case you accidentally came across him and he’d see you. So you decided to stay put, staring around the area, hearing rustling leaves and padded steps from time to time. After a while you saw him again. His body low as he carried a large deer over his shoulders and a couple of rabbits between his teeth. He dropped them all off and went into the opposite direction to continue his hunting. Sniffing the air he followed his nose and walked off.

The waiting made you tired, finding it more and more difficult to stay awake as time passed and eventually nodding off every once in a while not noticing steps coming closer.

A huff of air on your face jolted you awake only to be face to snout with your maybe now not so loving boyfriend.

“Daryl?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, looking into his eyes and seeing the familiar blue ones you always loved to stare at. A snap of his jaw right at your nose made you back up even further into the tree before he backed away and snarled at you.

So he was clearly angry with you. “I’m sorry. I still love you, even like this.” You swallowed your fears and raised your hand to touch him. Reaching the side of his head you let your hand stroke his fur as you let out a shaky breath.

He blinked slowly at you and licked your cheek as he stepped back and turned around.

“I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” He looked back at you and nodded before walking off and letting you do the same.

Your walk back to the prison felt strange. A part of you wanted to back to sleep and kindly wait for your boyfriend to return and pretend like nothing happened, but the other voice in your head wondered what it would be like to stay with him in the woods and have your big and strong werewolf boyfriend warm you during the cold nights.

But for now you’d have to settle on that first option. Heading back into the prison as quiet as possible and wait for Daryl to come back home after the full moon nights had passed.

The days passed and you waited like you promised.

The second you heard his bike pull up to the game you readied yourself to go help him take his kills inside. And so you did. You assisted in taking the animals to be prepped for dinner and cooked for later days.

That night you go find him when he's smoking at the edge of the stone flooring outside and joined him in staring out into the night sky.

"I was out here listening for you the last two nights." He turns to face you, blowing the smoke of his cigarette to the side and away from you. "Yer a crazy bitch fer followin' me. Coulda killed ya if I didn't sniff ya out before I saw ya." You agreed with him. You realized that now after you had gotten back home and you felt bad for invading his privacy like that after he had clearly stated he'd be going out alone and wouldn't accept anyone joining him.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

An answer didn't immediately came and you felt even worse now. Even with Daryl not cussing you out or chasing you out of the woods personally you still felt the effects of his angry snarls.

An arm wrapped around you as Daryl pulled you against his side. "Weren't sure ya'd believe me. An' too scared ta show ya."

You sighed as you let yourself fully melt into his side. "I'm sorry I followed you."

A soft kiss on your head reassured you it was all okay. "Next week we'll go out on a run together, I'll show ya properly, yeah?"

You threw your arms around him in embrace, thanking him for forgiving you.

You couldn't wait for his invitation to go on that run.

~~☆☆☆~~

A/N: Another one of the suggested ideas of how reader would find out about her boyfriend's werewolf secret. This one was a lot of fun!

#sometimes i write #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #twd #the walking dead #twd au #werewolf #werewolf au

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starlostastronaut · 5 months

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DAY 13 | NOVEMBER RAIN

PAIRING: seo changbin x reader

GENRE: hurt/comfort

WC: 0.98k

CW: reader goes through a break up and takes it hard, insecurities over being a "good partner", theres crying

PROMPT: "you came?" "you called?"

i feel bad giving binnie only the shorter oneshots. i thought this might be longer but it got more personal than i intended, so thats why it might seem rushed a bit bc i didnt want to go that into detail. btw november rain is song rec of the day, bc its an amazing song! i hope you enjoy <3

title from november rain - guns 'n roses

general masterlist here

<< previous | mctc masterlist | next >>

You stared at your phone in shock, unable to form any coherent thoughts at the moment. The delivered message was glowing on the screen, and every time you looked at it, it felt like knives twisting in your gut. You couldn’t believe it. This… This had to be a nightmare. It had to be. But no matter how many times you pinched and slapped yourself, you didn't wake up. It was very real, and it was happening to you.

Your boyfriend had just broken up with you. And over a text like a coward. He didn’t provide any explanation; he just said it wasn't working anymore. You didn’t understand it. Sure, there had been some tough moments in your relationship, but you resolved those ages ago. The past few months had been nothing but happy. He had never given you any hints, any signs, or anything to indicate he was feeling that way. Hell, it wasn't even that long ago when he was telling you how much he loved you and how much you meant to him.

You sank to your knees, feeling the tears forming at the corners of your eyes. With shaking fingers and hazy vision, you closed the conversation with your now-ex and opened a different chat. Barely registering any of your actions, you typed out a simple message. Then the phone slipped out of your fingers, and you curled into a pathetic little ball, lying on the floor of your bedroom and wetting it with your tears, wondering what led him to that decision.

Was it something you did? Were you not good enough as a partner? You weren’t the most affectionate person out there; physical contact or expressing your feelings was something you struggled with a lot. But you always did your best to make sure your ex-boyfriend - you corrected yourself - knew you loved him. Small gestures, compliments, spending time together, being his support system when he didn't believe in himself... You always thought that was an important part of a relationship, so you tried to fulfill the duty as best as you could. But it wasn't enough. You failed as a partner. You failed, you failed, you failed. Your brain kept chanting that over and over again. All of your insecurities came flooding into your brain at once. You covered your ears in a useless attempt to silence the voices in your head.

You didn't know how long you were there, curled into yourself. You just knew it was long enough for the tears to stop falling. Faintly, you heard someone in the other room, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care who it was. You were too far gone in your own head. Someone pounded on your door, but you didn't answer. In the next second, the door was getting kicked down as a distressed Changbin ran through.

Seeing you on the floor in that state made him stop. He slowly kneeled down to you, bringing one hand to your hair and stroking it gently. “Are you with me? Y/N?” When he didn't get a response from you, he sat down, leaning on your bed for leverage, as his arms gently lifted you and helped you into his lap. Then his hand returned to your hair, carding his fingers through it while he whispered sweet nothings to you. “It's okay, baby. I'm here now,” he murmured, his other hand moving to stroke your back. His soothing touch slowly brought you out of your dazed state.

“Binnie,” you choked on a sob, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing yourself closer. Right now, he was a grounding weight around you. As long as he was there, you were going to be okay.

“It's okay,” he said softly, not halting his ministrations even as you moved. “It's okay.” He let you lay there as long as you needed, providing you with the silent comfort you needed right now. He knew you would tell him eventually, but he also knew you needed to do that at your own pace. Pressuring you into talking would only lead to you closing off completely.

After a while, you pulled away. You had calmed down enough to talk. You looked at Changbin, who flashed you a relieved smile. Noticing the strange material that was crumpled under your fingers. You looked up at him, your lips parted in slight shock. “You're still in your stage outfit,” you whispered, looking at him in disbelief.

“We just finished the shoot when I saw your message,” he shrugged. “It said he broke up with you and to help, so I ran here. The stylists weren’t too happy, but Channie-hyung will handle it.” Changbin smiled at you. The realization dawned on you. When you texted Changbin, it was in the middle of a music show.

“Binnie, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have disrupted your schedule; I was just panicking and-"You began frantically apologizing, because this wasn't that big of a problem. You just overreacted. You didn’t need to drag Changbin into your mess. The voices got loud again.

“Hey, hey, hey. Stop,” Changbin said gently but firmly, grabbing your hands so you would stop fidgeting. He intertwined your fingers with his and squeezed to let you know he's with you. “You needed me, so I came here. I didn't have to do it, but I did. Because I care about you more than about doing a music show.” You looked up at him, your lips stretching to a smile, in spite of the mess happening in your brain. You didn’t deserve this man. Changbin was too good for you. But you were happy you had him.

You launched yourself onto him, wrapping your arms securely around his neck. “Thank you, Binnie. For being here and... and for everything,” you murmured into his shoulder.

“Of course,” he responded, hugging you tighter.

taglist: @stayconnecteed @saintriots @vivioluh @ivaneedssleep @jazziwritesthings @darkypooo

©starlostastronaut 2023 | do not repost/translate my work without permission

#moony's countdown to christmas #mctc #stray kids x reader #seo changbin x reader #seo changbin #hurt/comfort

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ilovejoo · 1 year

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｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

when you’re scared of thunder; enhypen

word count: 1.6k warnings: n/a? gn!reader a/n: THERE WAS THUNDER THE OTHER DAY AND I HATED IT SM so i just had to write this 😞 california was flooding that is so insane to me.

masterlist!

heeseung

he does his best to distract you with his voice, his actions, his kisses, his face... he's the best comedian, the best singer- he becomes the best at anything if it means it makes you feel better like a true ace

"it's okay, hee, i know you were excited for this..." you bit your lip as he frowned at the uncomfortable state you were in. the two of you were at a long-awaited date at some outdoor cafe that thankfully had a roof over the head, covering you from the drizzle. however, the rain was not a problem: the thunder was.

he couldn't stand to watch you flinch at every boom while the two of you were supposed to be having a fun, cheerful, thunder-free time.

“if they make you feel all shaken up, then why would we stay?” he pouted. he covered your ears with his hands from across the table, but you waved him away, despite the tears forming in your eyes.

man, you really hated thunder.

"y/n, you're crying." you looked up at his worried eyes. "let me take you away, we can always come back here some other day.." he grasped your wrist and pulled you, rushing to someplace quieter. he gave himself the mission of distracting you, muffling the sound with his hands again.

he softly hummed one of your favorite songs, not knowing whether or not you could hear it under the safety of his hands. he hummed anyway. seeing that the thunder didn't seem to be ending, he hoped it was helping.

as soon as you got home, his new mission was to make you feel better (he succeeded).

jay

bro is actually so attentive :( he takes note of your likes/dislikes throughout the years he's known you, which includes your fear of thunder, so he's prepared for this kind of moment

already knowing how you were with loud noises, at the sight of a thunderstorm coming he knew to be prepared. despite the heavy rain, he ran out the door to his house, headed straight for yours.

you were huddled up on the couch, not even knowing about the upcoming thunderstorm, when you got a bunch of knocks on the door. you opened it to be greeted with the sight of a drenched boyfriend.

"jay- what the hell?"

“thunder’s coming,” he said, quickly rummaging through his bag to find his noise-cancelling headphones as he caught his breath. "i know how much you hate thunder; i didn't want you to be alone." as if on cue, thunder went off, and you grasped tight onto jay’s sleeve. he stoked your hair to try to calm you down with one hand, trying to simultaneously pull the headphones over your ears with the other.

“don’t worry, you’re safe, okay?” he mouthed, and you gave him the biggest hug, not even caring that he was soaked.

jake

- drops what he's doing to make you feel safe; absolutely cannot bear to see you so distressed, so he'll smother you with kisses, watch your favorite cartoons: anything you want to give you comfort

the car window was splattered with raindrops, and the windshield wipers couldn't seem to catch a break. you were jake's favorite (only) passenger, and though his eyes were on the road, he was listening intently to what you had to say.

"it rains every time we go to mcdonald's, i think its a curse," you joked, and jake eagerly nodded in agreement. "like i-" thunder clapped in the distance, and you stopped what you were saying.

".. like you..? like you what, sweetheart?" the sound admittedly overwhelmed you to the point where you couldn't register what jake was asking you.

"um.. like i.." more thunder. concerned at your lack of ability to respond, your boyfriend furrowed his eyebrows.

"are you okay? what is it? the thunder?" he couldn't help asking all these questions- he just wanted you to feel safe. you nod, mumbling something about how thunder always made you anxious. he quickly pulled over to the nearest parking lot and as soon as the gear shifted into park, he reached his arm over into a comforting embrace. "it'll pass, y/n; i'll be here until it does."

he kisses your cheek, to which you somewhat laugh at. hearing this, in relief he takes it as a sign of approval and suddenly your face, eyelids, the tip of your nose, and of course, lips, are being covered by his lips.

sunghoon

seeing you scared makes him panic too- he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know how to act. all he knows is that he wants you to feel at ease, and he'll do his best for that to happen.

"it's raining." sunghoon reached a hand out from under the shade structure, feeling the raindrops on his palm. you rolled your eyes.

"no way," you said sarcastically. "way to notice the obvious!" he playfully hit your side when a boom went off from somewhere nearby, and in response you jumped with fear. originally, not missing the way you flinched involuntarily at the thunder, he let out a laugh.

it was almost awkwardly silent for a good second or two, save for the rain in the background- he had no clue what to do, and you were trying to calm yourself down.

you admit, it definitely could have been humorous- even yourself would have laughed if you weren't shaking. but then he glanced at your eyes, concerned for how genuinely shaken up you were at the noise. his smile slightly faltered with worry, and he wordlessly grabbed your hand. he gave it a squeeze, not really knowing what to say but wanting to offer you comfort regardless.

he never let go of your hand once, he takes care of you in this way.

sunoo

he knows what to do, he knows how to comfort you. he uses this knowledge to his advantage- soon you forget you were even scared.

having a boyfriend who was so attentive of your needs meant that he noticed when you were in distress. his brows furrowed with worry seeing how much the weather outside bothered you. the sound of the thunder and the strikes of lightning freaked you out, and he couldn’t bear to see you so scared.

you were curled up on the couch, hands over your ears. the sight broke his heart. he put down the phone in his hands and gently grabbed your wrists, helping you up.

“let’s go somewhere quieter, hm?” his eyes told you how worried he was for you, and you gave him a smile.

“okay.” he gave you a hug when you got up, and it immediately made you feel better. you buried yourself in his chest for just a moment, basking in his comfort and warmth. feeling how you somewhat relaxed in his arms, he rubbed the back of your head with his hand soothingly, letting you know he's there for you.

jungwon

because of his caring nature, he tends to care for you all the time, including the times when you're scared out of your wits. he notices your discomfort almost immediately, and he'll act from there

a little known fact about you was that thunder was not your best friend, and seeing how you repeatedly jumped at every thundering boom going off, jungwon quickly learned this as well.

the two of you were hanging out with a larger group of people, but jungwon made sure to constantly keep an eye on you as that was just his second nature. he noticed that you seemed a little freaked out while drawing yourself away from the conversation, biting your lip and fidgeting with your fingers.

his head tilted at why you looked so panicked, and then it hit him: it was the noise. upon this realization, his hands went for your ears, covering them the best he could.

"are you okay?" he said into your ear, his voice low. the thunder went off again, and your shaking hands reflexively shot on top of his, trying to cover your ears even further. taking this as a no, he excused you both from the group and made his way over to his friend's bedroom, the quietest part of the house.

he pulled you closer to offer his comfort, and he stayed like that until the weather was completely clear.

niki

he notices more than he lets on. though it may initially seem like he isn't the type to do so, he takes the best care of you, even if it may be in his own way

“someone just dropped something,” niki said, laughing at how your hands rushed to cover your ears out of panic. he pat your head, still laughing. you took in a shaky breath, however, which made his laughter falter. “are you scared?” he asked, looking a bit concerned, and you brushed it off.

“it’s okay,” you said, and he let it slide. however, you jumped at every loud noise, more than most people would. when the two of you went for a late night walk and someone closed a window harshly nearby, your arms immediately shielded your face, shaking. a balloon popped at a birthday party, and you screamed.

from then on, he learned with how observant he is, that you were sensitive to loud noises. so when he saw a thunderstorm on the day's weather agenda, the first thing he did was prepare a little "thunderproof cave" in his room for you, complete with pillows, blankets, music, and of course, himself.

as soon as he was done, he dashed off excitedly to find you with your eyes shut and ears plugged. sighing a little at the sight, he wanted nothing more than for you to feel better.

"yah- y/n! come here." he tugged your arm and led you to the homemade heaven he set up for you. knowing why he did this, immediately you crashed into his arms in a hug.

"thanks riki."

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

thank you for reading! here's my masterlist!

taglist! send an ask to be added: @jaysbiceps

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suckerforcate · 1 year

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AGHHH ure literally my favourite writer on here right now!! u write so amazingly!!

could i request a brienne x reader where it’s a long while after what happened with jaime and reader comes into brienne’s life -u can decide how- and reader is sweet and really really likes brienne which is why reader is a bit clingy. brienne is understandably a little cold and has her guard up and one day lashes out at reader because they’re just gonna leave her too anyway. later she sees reader crying to pod and she feels bad and instead of her apologizing reader apologizes for pushing things and brienne feels even worse and brienne explains her actions so reader promises to never leave her. That’s all. Thank you so much!!

Picnic?

Pairing: Brienne of Tarth x Reader

Word Count: 1080

Warning: None, hurt/comfort

A/n: Thank you so, so much!! I really liked the idea and I hope I did it justice.

Brienne had been part of Bran Starks Kingsguard for nearly two years now, and she was very happy that Podrick had been knighted and taken in the Kingsguard as well. Even if she would never admit it she would have missed him terribly. Other than her, Podrick was really open towards new people and always found new friends.

And one day he introduced Brienne to you. She felt that she was instantly drawn to you, but she forbid herself to ever feeling something like that. She didn't want it to go downhill, just like it did with Jamie.

You however, also felt drawn to her and acted on it. A lot. You loved spending time with her. Watching her fight was your favourite thing. Whenever you saw her walk around you accompanied her. Grabbing her arm and happily telling her about your day.

Sure you had noticed her coldness and that she had her guards up at all time. But you didn't take it personally and thought she just needed some time warming up. You never knew how she was treated in her live. Not just the Jamie-thing but also the general resentment people had against her. For you it was unthinkable that anyone could not like her.

You tried everything to warm her up and to look through her guard. You gifted her flowers, you invited her and Pod for dinner, you asked her to accompany you in the city. Most of the time she said no, but sometimes you felt you broke through to her, and she said yes. Still you wouldn't tire and try again and again.

You really thought you were making progress until one day everything went wrong.

It was such a beautiful and warm day, and you had woken up with the idea in your head to ask Brienne put for a picnic. Who could say no to a picnic?

So you prepared everything and went to search for her. Your heart made jumps as you saw her, as an exception not in armour. So you happily approached her and looped your arm through hers. You felt her tense at that, so you respected the boundary and took a step back. But the smile didn't fade. You still beamed at her.

"Brienne, I thought it would be the perfect day for a picnic? Would you like to accompany me? Pod could also come if you'd like." You saw her look annoyed at that and already braced yourself for the coming rejection but what came next was something you never expected.

"No, (Y/n). I do not want to go on a picnic with you. Could you please stop annoying me all the time? I know you're just going to leave me anyway. So stop bothering and let me be." You had never heard her getting so loud and harsh. For a second you didn't even know what to say. But as you felt the tears prick in your eyes you mumbled out an apology and turned around on the heel. So no picnic.

---------------

You didn't even know where to go. The tears were now streaming down your face like a waterfall. Your first thought was Pod. So you went to find him.

"(Y/n), what has happened?" Podrick pulled you into a hug and sat you down next to him. You cried his whole shirt wet. But he didn't care.

"I- I thought I was breaking through with Brienne. It seemed like she wasn't as cold anymore, but I just asked her out on a picknick, and she completely lashed out. What have I done wrong? Why does she hate me Pod?" Pod looked at you empathically.

"I'm sure she doesn't hate you. She's just been hurt a lot and doesn't trust easily. It's hard for her to express her feelings."

"No, I pushed her too much. I'm sure she hates me now." You clung to Pods shirt and cried even more. What neither of you knew was that Brienne had also wanted to talk to Pod, and she had heard your conversation. She felt bad. Really bad. She didn't hate you, and she never wanted to be so harsh. She was just scared.

"(Y/n), I-" She came around the corner and in less than a second you were on you feet. Starting to ramble an apology.

"I'm sorry, Brienne. I shouldn't have been so pushy. You clearly aren't interested, and I should have accepted that." More tears fell down your cheeks, you couldn't even stop them.

Brienne took a step forward and against all her instincts she grabbed your hands and sat down with you. Podrick slowly left you to alone, knowing that you really needed to talk. Alone.

"There is no need for you to apologise, (Y/n). I am the one who should apologise. I had no right to shout at you and get so loud. I don't hate you. I really don't, please never think that. I just... In the past I have been hurt, a lot. From my childhood on people have called me names, made fun of me, bullied me or called me 'Brienne the Beauty'. Of course that was a joke. But because of that I have always been very reserved and, quite frankly, alone. But a few years ago I fell in love. For the first time ever I trusted someone, and I was instantly hurt. He left me for someone else and died protecting the Queen. After that I swore myself to never trust anyone again. I would be hurt sooner or later." To be honest, you were shocked. It had never occurred to you that Brienne could not be liked, that she could have even been bullied and called names. To you she was just perfect. And you told her that.

"I'm so sorry, Brienne. I didn't know any of that. I can't believe people are so cruel. But I can promise you: I will never leave you. To me, you are perfect and amazing. There is nothing about you to make fun of. Each little part and thing about you makes you special. Every flaw, every imperfection, every insecurity." You warmly smiled at her and stroked over her hands. Your tears long forgotten.

"Thank you, so much." Brienne tightly hugged you and even though it still took some time for her to fully grasp it all, she started to trust you more and more. And she even learned to get used to the physical touch.

#brienne of tarth #brienne of tarth x reader #brienne x reader #game of thrones #gwendoline christie #gwendoline christie x reader #wlw #got

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desolateddreamur · 1 year

Text

Dear Diary

Stan x reader

Story: Stan goes through your diary

Female reader!

Requested? No!

TW: Death, illness and the fact it made me cry a little at the end

Fun fact: on the speech to text entries, I actually used speech to text over my phone and then just added the name thing at the end.

•

10/25

Dear Diary,

Mom wants me to start a diary since Im in a new town. So I'll introduce myself.

My name is Y/n Heeler and I moved to South Park at the age of 9 from my home in Alaska after my dad. Mom also came to the realization that she liked girls so we moved to a more accepting place.

I met a really nice boy named Clyde when I got lost and met his friends. They showed me around and told me about how weird the town actually is.

I think I saw a boy in an orange jacket die. There was a guy in a green hat and two in red coats (one was fat as hell) standing near him.

The one in the beanie with the puff ball is cute...

Mom said I shouldn't be friends with his group because of how strange it is. But I like them. They're quite charming!

- Y/n

11/01

Dear Diary,

I met my classmates. It's the boys I saw and the ones I met! Along with a lot of others. The guy in the puff ball beanie is named Stan. But he's with a girl named Wendy so I guess being friends is the better shot?

She's really nice, but immediately seemed to not like me when I said Stan was cute. That's how I found out they were dating. I told her I wouldn't do anything to get between them.

She seemed to like hearing that and calmed down.

Fatboy asked if I spoke English because I was Alaskan during lunch. Probably because I didn't talk during class at all.

Mom said she'd talk to his guardian.

Next thing I know she has a date planned with his mom. It really pisses me off!!

- Y/n

Stan snorts. He looked back to how much arguing occurred before Liane and Miranda got married. It was even worse when Cartman and Y/n had to start living in the same house. Then came the chaos of being step-siblings... That was a fucking nightmare.

He skipped a few pages til he came up on a date he remembered clearly.

3/16

Dear Diary,

Wendy broke up with Stan.

I saw him stumbling around the street drunk so I went to help.

He said Wendy never helped him when he drank his sadness away. I asked if there's anything I can do and he asked if he could spend the night at my place and I tell him a bedtime story.

Good thing Mom was on a several day long date with Liane. I said yes and took him home.

I wish he had someone who took time to care for him. I wish it was me...

I told him the story my mom always would when I couldn't sleep. It's the story of two princesses that fall in love.

The prince never came to rescue one so his princess sister came to her rescue instead.

She saves the locked away princess and they fall in love because unlike him, she took action.

He seemed to like the story and fell asleep.

I think I'll tell him that he can stay for the next few days if he'd prefer to be monitored and have space. Just so he doesn't get into fights with his friends or drinks again.

- Y/n

He gave a soft smile, remembering that night. It was embarrassing, sure, but he had a great time when he spent the next few days there.

"And so, princess Penelope and princess Autumn lived happily ever after. The end."

The girl smiled down to the half-asleep Stan. He mumbled a "Love you so much..." That she didn't catch before falling asleep completely.

He flipped a few years further, passing the fifth grade pages, moving into the seventh grade.

3/20

Dear Diary,

I feel funny whenever I'm with Stan.. Mom says I'm in love. I think she's right. He's been on and off with Wendy so I might have a chance... I hope I do.

I think I'll try to hit on Stan tomorrow. Make it real subtle so if Stan does like me he'll catch on and Wendy won't.

School has been rough as ever, what with how I'm in several clubs. Chess, soccer, art, and year book. It's really overwhelming but I have to make dad proud. I miss him.

His deathiversary is coming up next week. I'll probably get him his favorite flowers. If South Park even has lilies of the valley.

I'll check over the weekend. Maybe take Clyde with me so we can hang out afterwards.

Wish me luck with Stan, diary!

- Y/n

He fondly sighs. She really struck him with her devotion that day.

"Nobody gets me like you do, Stanley... You wanna just call in sick tomorrow to hang out? Cartman is out of town and our mothers are on vacation.."

She leaned her head on Stan's shoulder and closed her eyes. It was a move she did often but after what she said the gesture held so much more meaning.

4/05

Dear Diary,

I don't feel good. I feel sick.

I can't walk, I can't get up, I can't stand, I can hardly breathe and I'm having a hard time talking and writing. I'm scared. I'm really, really scared.

I don't know what I have. We're getting me checked to tomorrow. Cartman is actually worried for me.

It's surprising how much compassion he really has. I have to stop writing now.

He eyed the pages and how the next one wasn't hand written. It was a printed sheet of paper with text taped to the page.

April 17th Dear diary I can't believe what I was diagnosed with apparently I have Duchenne muscular dystrophy I'm scared it'll kill me and I don't want to die I'm only 12 I want to tell Stan I love him but I don't have the energy to call him I hardly have the energy to even speak that's what I'm doing this I'm using voice to text to put in my next entry I wish I had a better chance at life I'll never get to graduate high school or go to college or get married or have a family I hope they just treat me like a dog and put me down out of my misery signed Y/n

He released a shaky breath. She didn't show up to school that day. She didn't show up to school ever again after that either. He skipped quickly to the final entry which was only a few pages off- about two years later.

July 22nd dear diary I think this is my last few days the doctor only said I have 2 weeks left to live I want to tell Stan I love him but I still can't form anymore words I'm scared hardly even speak to write this entry for Stan I leave my diary to tell him how I feel Shelly I leave my phone Kyle I leave all of my books and all of my art supplies for Ike for Kenny I leave my bank account and my piggy bank and all of the money I have hiding in my room to Cartman I leave my room itself and all the stuffed animals in it to Liane I leave all of my college credit that I have that I have gained throughout the years and that you can use it to get a truly stable job of yourself just make sure to change it to be under your name instead of mine and to my mother I leave with an I love you and that I will be with Dad I know that he is proud of us and he is proud of you and Liane I'm going to miss you all but I know I have to be brave signed Y/n

Stan, on his bed, broke into loud sobs and weeps. Tears streamed down his face as he closed the sparkly f/c diary and clutched it to his chest. He cried and cried, the sound of his sorrow the only sound in the house.

Shelly, now no longer bearing headgear for her beautiful smile, slowly opened the door and made her way over, promptly sitting beside him. He flinched at her proximity, expecting to be hit for being too loud. But he wasn't. She simply gave him a tight hug.

The ravenette tensed in confusion before relaxing and leaning into the hold of his older sister, ignorant of the wet droplets from her face that fell onto his head as she held him tightly. She lost just as much of a friend as he did.

And though she made no noise, she cried as hard as her brother. Long into the night, far into the morning.

Up in the clouds, a h/c man with enormous wings and h/c teen with cupid-sized wings were cuddled together, watching over Stan and Miranda as they spoke fondly to one another.

Even if you lose someone you love, you must always know that they loved you just as much as you did and that they will always, always be protecting you, whether or not they are there in spirit or in new form.

#southparkxreader #south park x y/n #southpark #south park x reader #stan x reader #stan marsh #stanley marsh #stan

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obsessivestaringdisorder · 2 years

Text

New Destiny

pairings: bucky barnes x oc

Word Count: 6346

warnings: female masturbation, talking through orgasm, slow burn romance, omega reader and alpha Bucky, cursing, mentions of virginity, mentions of dub-con

18+, minors DNI

Requests: Open and Welcome

______________________________________________________________

Presenting is hard. Coming from a family of betas, we all assumed I would be, as well. My brother presented at 15, my mother and sister were both 14, and my father presented at 16. All betas. When I was finally of age to start presenting, I expected the same fate as the others, no knot, no heat, and no strong scent. As a female, my family also assumed that I would present at fourteen. My mother and father had awoken me to my favorite cake and high expectations. Even when I failed to meet those expectations, a lot of good came around that year: my brother had gotten bonded and married to another beta, my sister graduated high school, I started practicing for school affiliated soccer tryouts, and my father got promoted at Stark Industries. Fifteen was the exact same way with a cake and assumptions of my presentation. Again, nothing happened in a sense of who I was and where I stood in society but more good happened in life: My sister dropped out of her second semester of college and moved into her own apartment which drove my parents ballistic, my mother got one step closer to her dream job at a local bakery and started chasing her own goals, and I made the high school varsity soccer team while also acting in the Queens’ Metropolitan High School’s production of “The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds”.

I always thought that my family was lucky. My father came to every game with his ‘GO KNIGHTS’ t-shirt that he got when he went to QMHS, of course now we just call it ‘the metro’. He never missed anything, for any of us, and never let work be an excuse to skip something. Mother dropped her easy-living, house wife life to follow her passion of baking and started learning how to take over the ropes so she could one day run the bakery herself. She did everything she could to balance that and loving us, with a smile on her face. Karen, my sister who was elegantly named after our late maternal nana, had a free spirit and often struggled to conform to anyone’s beliefs. She inspired me to love with an unconditional heart and taught me that it was okay to cry. Even when she moved out and skipped out on NYU, Karen always called me after a game if she missed it and never failed to listen to me. My older brother and his wife, Konrad and Daisy, were around constantly and helped whenever they weren’t working or in class. Both of them were subtle and relaxed, their lives seemingly perfect with the high school sweetheart bond. My parents often harassed them about pups, but they seem to be more fascinated with saving for a home and not just their studio apartment. Konrad is a whopping seven years older than me, which made him 22 when I was 15. Karen was older but still in the middle at 20. I thought we were a lucky family. Yet, I turned 16 and I still had not presented.

My years went on and I was finally deemed a late bloomer on my 18th birthday, which was a week ago. My parents had begun to freak out about my health care; since I was now an adult without a presentation, I didn't have a doctor to see. New York State is very specific about its health laws when it comes to our presentation. Konrad and Daisy never said it, but they had also started to worry over me. Everyone watches me constantly, as if I’ll present at any moment or die otherwise and it is getting offly depressing. Even Karen’s phone calls and visits have been about a plan of action or if I feel any different. Honestly, I could live without a heat or a knot or a presentation of any kind. I just wish I could be like everyone else; all my friends had presented one by one and many have even bonded to another. In ‘the metro’, I had my little pack of people; we looked out for each other and every single one of them have checked up on me since graduation. I had seen most of them present and begin their different phases of life, which made me feel even more alone at times. We had Dom and Lenna, a bonded alpha/omega pair that I’ve known since middle school. They bonded junior year but we all saw how infatuated the pair had been since they each presented. There was also Zane, Carter, and Jayla. Zane and Jayla were our calm, collected betas and they tended to sit on a fence, typically our peacekeepers. Carter was an omega, a title in which he wore with pride since the day I met him. In fact, he often got teased but never tormented as he refused to let any beta or alpha mock him. In his words, “Any alpha would kill for a night with me over any of them”. I guess that’s true, except when it came to Ally Coolishmen. She was an alpha that held no care in the world, regardless of class. Her presentation was the hardest; Ally had always held a brutish personality and when she presented as an alpha, she turned angry and even unintentionally challenged Dom as the pack alpha. With her scenting Carter often enough and Zane and Jayla as mediators, it all got sorted out in a matter of months. Of course, I had no place in the issue. Dom and Ally were literally at each other’s necks, it was as if I had no natural presence at all. I felt no need to keep peace like a beta, I had no want to bow down and accept one as another half of me like an omega, and I didn’t feel the need to join in like another alpha. As my pack I worried for each of them, but it went no deeper than that. Everyone of those people have come to see me and ask me how I felt, which is always the same answer: empty.

——

I woke up today just as normal as I always felt. While I have accepted my fate of nothing, no one else has. Two taps came from my door as it was opened by my father, “Knock, knock. I heard you moving around up here, but isn’t it a bit early for you?” I smiled gently at my father and shook my head, “Not today, I was actually about to walk down to the coffee shop”. He nodded and stayed silent. “Dad, wanna come with me?” I pushed out. My father and I weren’t too close but he was still a joy to talk to. “Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to come to work with me today? We can still walk down to the shop and get breakfast, then just take a cab?” His voice was steady, but his face looked nervous. My father reached to his face and cleaned his glasses; this is what he does when he’s anxious. Something was definitely up. I went to turn down his offer when my gut pulled me to say yes, “Sure, dad.” Dammit. I was supposed to meet Carter for lunch and I had been looking forward to it. Suddenly, I was the one feeling anxious. Maybe this was a bad idea. The smile on my dad’s face soothed me, just a bit. I smiled back, “I’m going to get lunch with Carter at one, so I’ll just meet him somewhere near your work.” His smile got even bigger, “That sounds like a good plan, I’ll even give you some money to bring me something back.” I nodded as he started to back out of my room, “I’ll be ready in like, thirty minutes.” He turned his back to me and threw up a wave before shutting my door behind him.

I chuckled and began to get ready, applying only a light layer of makeup with an outfit already in my head. I pulled out a light colored pair of jeans with tears at the knee and a loose t-shirt, laceless sneakers to follow. Checking myself in the mirror, I catch my focus on my arms. They are toned and defined, yet smaller and lacking any bulk. My legs were the same way, strong but about as thin as pool noodles. I lifted my shirt to look at my stomach; even if half of it is covered by my jeans, I can still see the small scars from where I got caught in barbed wire as a kid. That was one of my favorite memories of Karen. My phone buzzed and I remembered my father was waiting on me downstairs. “I’m ready!” I shouted as I quickly grabbed my bag and phone, making my way to the kitchen. “Konstellation May, I am impressed. That was only twenty minutes.” He was grabbing his keys when he looked over at me and frowned. My father reached farther and handed me my jacket from the rack, “It is only supposed to get to sixty-five today.” I nodded and shrugged it on. I opened the door and waited as he locked the door before following him to the street. My father and I made small talk while we walked; it’s the same topic he’s always asked, if I had thought about playing soccer in college or what my plans for summer looked like. “Dad, I don’t know if I’d be a great college athlete.”

He shook his head, “Konnie, you’ll be amazing in whatever place you land.” Dad threw his arm over my shoulder as we neared a street corner. Today felt different somehow. I smiled at him as we crossed the street, “Thanks, dad. I have been thinking about getting a job for the summer and maybe a gap year. Just until I know what I want to do.” We continued our talk until we got to the coffee hut. My dad turned suddenly, “Hey, you’ve always been good at writing and helping mom with her forms and stuff!” You laughed, “Are you saying I should major in being a secretary?” He smiled again, “No, I mean, Mr. Banner has been looking for an assistant. Maybe you’d like to intern for him this summer and that could help you make some decisions?” He stared at me as I thought about it, “Well, I don’t know, dad. Interning for an avenger seems like a lot of work.” We neared the front of the line and both of us ordered, a lavender breve latte and bacon egg biscuit for me and black coffee with a sausage croissant for dad. He paid and we took our items to go, dad’s hand flying up for a cab, “You never know, Kon Kon. Maybe just take today and see how you feel tonight.” I nodded, mouth full of biscuit. His face looked like a kid on Christmas Day. Dad always loved his job. So, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad getting to spend more time with him.

The drive felt short, but that may have been because dad kept trying to make me laugh and I fell for it every time. I finished up my breakfast but kept the warm latte in my hands, thankful that dad had me put on a jacket. Through metal detectors and clearance checks, a visitor's badge was placed on my chest and I followed my dad to the elevator. Dad scanned his card and hit a button, the elevator moved fast and moved smoothly, though I suspected this since we were in the Stark tower. We hit the top floor and I stepped out after my dad, following his lead and putting my jacket on a hanger. The lab was clean and white, shredded with glass everywhere. I felt like I was going to break something. The lab coat hung around my father’s frame was clean as well, which is surprising since I have seen him eat. I’ll have to remind him to take it off when I bring back lunch. I felt like I was following him around until the elevator made a sound and the door opened. Out came Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, the latter wearing a lab coat with the ‘Stark Industries’ to match the one my dad wore. My eyes followed the two men until they approached my father, speaking only slightly louder when they joined as a group of three. Mr. Stark’s eyes found mine, “I’m sorry, do you belong to me?” A smile cracked from my dad, “No, that one’s my youngest. Dr. Banner and Mr. Stark, meet Konstellation.”

I smiled and stuck out my hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet both of you in person, my father adores you both.” Mr. Stark shook my hand first, “Most people do say that, but call me Tony.” Dr. Banner followed, “Bruce, and your father has been an excellent addition to my staff.” I smiled at my dad as he shrugged away the compliment. Bruce turned to dad, “May I ask, is this daughter that you recommended as an intern?” My father nodded, “Yes, I was just speaking to her about it this morning over breakfast.” I smiled again as Bruce spoke, “And how do you feel about it, Konstellation?” Taking a second to look at my dad, I answered, “Well, I wasn’t sure this morning, but after meeting you both, I’d be happy to apply.” My dad visibly got excited. Tony nodded, “Not needed, you’re hired. If you are half as competent as your father says, welcome aboard.” I matched my fathers energy and gave him a high five. “I agree, but I actually had a request for you.” Both of our attentions turned to Bruce, “Of course.” My dad had a knowing look, “Mr. Banner, that’s not necessary.”

“No dad, what is it Mr. Banner?” He looked down to avoid my fathers stare, “I just want to know more about your presentation.” Damn, I should have let me father protest, “Well, I don’t have one.” Both men looked shocked as my father looked at his shoes. Tony spoke first, “What do you mean, aren’t you 18?” I nodded, “Yes, sir.” Bruce looked at me confused, “And still no presentation? I’ve never heard of that.” I shrugged in response. For me, this was a normal occurrence. People were always shocked when I told them and the frustration on my father’s face was also not new. Bruce nodded, “Well, that’s interesting. I apologize if I made you or your father uncomfortable. I hope you do not reconsider being my intern this summer.” I smiled at him, “No worries, I’m use to it and my father just worries for me.” We exchanged a few more details before both men left and it was time for my lunch plans. My dad handed me a twenty and said he wanted a shawarma sandwich. I’ll never understand the fascination with that place.

__________________________

“No. Fucking. Way.” Carter looked at me, mouth full of pizza. I smiled at him, “Yeah, they even asked me to call them ‘Bruce’ and ‘Tony’.” He took a big swallow and looked back at me, “That’s crazy, KonKon. Congrats on being smart enough to do this.” I couldn’t help but sigh, “I’m honestly feeling nervous, I don’t want to disappoint my dad.” Carter rolled his eyes at me and took another bite. I had always struggled with accepting responsibility, I’ve always been a Nervous Nancy. We continued lunch like normal and he followed me to get my father’s order. “The pack is gonna be so excited for you! Like, even I can’t wrap my head around it.” I laughed, “Promise you won’t say anything until I start next week. Let me adjust first.” Carter's eyes went wide, “Uh, I might have already sent a group message about it.” My head spun to him, “Oh Carter! You freaking troll!” I smacked his shoulder with my hand as he tried to jump out of the line of fire. “I’m sorry! I was just so happy for you.” I rolled my eyes as he opened the restaurant door for me.

I went to place the order, “Can I please get a number one with a side of fr-!” I stopped mid-sentence with a blinding cramp in my stomach. Carter put a hand on my back as I doubled over. “Ma’am, are you alright?” The worker asked, looking just worried as Carter, “Kon Kon, what’s wrong?” I took a few deep breaths and stood back up. The cramp was still there but less aggressive, “I’m good. Just got a bad cramp. A side of fries and a diet soda.” The worker nodded and took my money, looking at me warily. Carter and I sat down at a table and waited for food. He smiled at me, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked, avoiding eye contact. “Well, it’s just, that huge cramp has happened to me.” He said.

“So?” Carter got closer, so I leaned in too, “That’s how my first heat started.” My eyes went wide, “No, that’s not what is happening to me. No, no, no.” He gave me another sad smile, “Kon Kon. I know you want to belong somewhere; you’ve been through a hard road. What if this is you presenting? Would that be so bad?” I shrugged, “I don’t know.” The worker called for our attention, “Ma’am, here’s your number one.” Carter and I stood up, taking the food and leaving. The walk back to the Stark Tower was long, or at least it felt like it. Carter had bid me good-bye at the restaurant, so I had plenty of time to consider what he said. What if I am presenting? Isn’t this what everyone wants? I got to the building and had to go through security again, even having a security guard open the bag of food and taking the lid off my fathers drink. That seemed unnecessary.

I walked into the lab to see a gathering of people around my father and Bruce, none of them had lab coats but seemed to dress in street clothing. I took a step out of the elevator as it dinged, causing the attention to gather on me. Every Avenger was standing in front of my dad, “Kon Kon, come over here!” I swallowed and trotted over, setting his lunch down. “Everyone, this is Konstellation, Ken’s daughter. She is going to be my intern for the semester.” Bruce motioned to me as he talked. I gave a small wave and smiled, “Hi guys.” The first person stepped up, “Hi! I’m Peter, or Spider-Man, but I prefer Pete.” I shook his hand and gave him a bigger smile, “It’s nice to meet you, Pete.” Everyone introduced themselves from where they stood. The last man stepped up, “James.” I smiled at him, this man clearly screamed alpha even if he seemed to hide behind everyone else. “Konnie, join us for our weekly meeting!” Tony exclaimed, leading the way into a conference room. My dad walked beside me and gave me some notes, “Before I forget, let me tell you something. Almost everyone here is an alpha or Beta; that includes Steve, Bucky, Thor, and Tony. Betas will be Clint, Bruce, Natasha, and Carol. Peter and Wanda are our only omegas. Unless you want to include Pepper.”

I nodded and continued to follow the group. As everyone was sitting, another cramp rocked my body. My body froze as I gasped, having to lean against the door frame. My father turned to me, “Kon Kon, is everything alright?” I tried to breath through it like before, but as soon as one passed, another followed in suit. I gasped again and fell to my knees, holding my stomach. My dad followed me, “Konstellation, what is it?” I couldn’t answer, the breath taken from my lungs. My body is hot and the cramp was blinding, making my eyes close. I could feel my father’s hands on my back and they are burning my skin even more. I know all eyes are me and the scene I am causing, making my embarrassment even more prominent. Bruce’s voice flowed in my ears, “Konstellation, what are you feeling?” I turned my head his way, “Hot, cramps.” It was all I could manage. My eyes opened and I saw Bruce kneeling next to me, but not touching my skin. My father removed his hands from me, “Do think that she is - uh, presenting?” Bruce nodded and realization hit me, I’m going into heat. I finally look at all the eyes in the room, some are horrified and others are filled with pity. Tony was talking into his wrist and three people approached me. Steve Rogers stepped closer, “Konstellation, can we help?” His hand reached out to me and my body screamed out, causing my legs to kick me away. His scent reached my nose and I wanted to gag, he smelt strongly of burning campfire and alpha male. Bruce threw his hand up, “Stop, Steve. She can’t handle an alpha’s scent.” Steve stopped in his tracks and backed up, noticing how I was trying to put distance between us. Pete and Wanda warily stepped closer, almost edging towards me. Wanda smelt of snickerdoodle cookies, full of cinnamon and just sweet. Pete had an aroma of lavender. I felt calmer than when Steve had reached out. “Konnie, can we come closer?” Pete asked, glancing towards Wanda. I nodded, my eyes pleading for their help. My father said they were both omegas, which must be why my body felt more compelled to reach for them. Pete stepped closer and reached out his hand. I wanted to take it, but I was afraid. I didn’t want to be in heat, or be presenting as an omega. I had always wanted a presentation, but an urge to be a beta. I shakily took his hand and Wanda looped her arm under mine, both of them pulling me to my feet. I went to turn when Pete stopped me, “You aren’t gonna want to do that.”

I knew what he was talking about as I moved, the slickness was already pooling between my legs. I grew more hot with their hand on my body, but less aggressive than my fathers. I could see the worry in his face and I wanted to sooth him. Pete and Wanda began to walk me backwards, away from the group with my front to them. My feet couldn’t keep up, but they both began to support me. I heard the elevator ding behind me, “This way, hurry.” I didn’t know the voice, but I could feel the calm wafting towards me. This must be Pepper Potts. When we got to the elevator, I could see the whole team. I tried to smile, but I know it didn’t reach my eyes. Suddenly, I could only meet one persons. James is staring into mine and I felt like I could feel his soul. I whimpered and began to reach out. Alpha, screamed in my mind. The omega in my head fought against what I wanted. “No, don’t.” The same voice called my back and I finally looked away. The blonde next to me smiled sadly. The doors shut and my lungs could breathe again. “Hi, I’m Pepper. We all understand what you are going through, but trust me. You do not want to be with an alpha you don’t know.” The blonde said, Pepper now being confirmed. “Why is this happening to me?” I whispered, looking down on my feet. I felt a hand rub my back, “It’s you nature, Konnie.” Pete said. I hate nature, and I certainly hate secondary genders right now.

___________

The three omegas laid my down on a bed that wasn’t my own. I know I’m still in the tower but I don’t know where. Pepper rubbed my hair as Wanda tilted water into my mouth. Pete had gone to get me something to change into as my clothes are being ruined by my biology. My skin felt like I was in the Caribbean, burning and sweaty. Even if my body felt like death, I was grateful for the people around me. Omegas were taking care of me, because they knew exactly what I was going through. If I was at home, I would be alone. Pepper smiled at me, “I know this kinda sucks and you are going to be in a lot of pain, but you do not have to be by yourself.” It was as if she could read my mind. I whimpered again as another cramp struck me. I could hear the door opened with a faint conversation, “No, Bucky. You have to go.” I looked up to see Pete in the doorway with his back to me, a duffle in his hand. James towered over him as we made eye contact, his brows furrowed. God, he’s beautiful. My thoughts were invaded by him, his scent filling my senses. He smells like mahogany and teakwood. It was all musk and worry. My slick fell from my thighs as he spoke, “I just want to know if she’s okay.”

His voice was deep and smooth, causing my body to want him even more. I sat up against the voices of Pepper and Wanda. I just needed to look at him more. He stood tall and gorgeous. “Pete, let me see him.” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. Pete turned to me, a frown on his face, “Konnie, that’s not a good idea. You can’t think straight right now.” I shook my head and pleaded more. James' eyes were on me and I could smell that he wanted to be near me. His head shook, “Konstellation, I won’t come any closer.” He looked back at Pete as I began to cry, tears slipping out of my eyes. Wanda held my arm as I tried to get up, Pepper pleading with me. Pete looked back at him, “Please, Bucky.” James looked back at him, “Just give her this.” Pete took what he offered and closed the door. I cried out, wanting to see him again. Pete walked over to me and set the bed down and I could finally see what James gave him. A leather jacket sat in his hands. I opened the duffle and found the best items: a teddy bear that Karen gave me, shirts from Konrad and Daisy, some bread and kitchen towels that were my moms, and my dad's lab coat he was wearing just earlier. A pair of my own shorts and a band shirt were at the bottom. “I also got some stuff from our rooms; so you can have calming scents.” The items he held out definitely belonged to each of them. There was a pair of leather leggings that were obviously Wanda’s, a science shirt that must be Pete’s, and a work blouse that smells like Pepper. Then, there was James’ jacket. I easily began shifting the clothes around me, nesting in the scents that smelt like my new friends and my family. Wanda and Pepper moved so I could arrange my items. I nestled in, holding the leather jacket in my arms, taking a deep breath of the scent that smelt like an alpha. “We’re going to give you some time to adjust, Konnie. We’ll check on you later, okay?” Wanda asked. I nodded, focusing on the jacket. I heard them exit the room and waited a few more seconds before standing. I slipped on my own clothes and randomly discarded my dirty ones. Hesitantly, I slipped the jacket on before laying back down. Everything still hurt, but the jacket’s scent soothed me. James’ smell lingered on my body and I felt settled for the time being.

______

Time slowly passed for me, though it was dark out now. I know I need something, anything at this point. I reached down and felt my own core, rubbing myself to the faint scent on me. I imagined the alpha kissing my lips, my chest, and my core. I needed him to touch me everywhere, my body screamed for him. My first orgasm came on fast. My body screamed for an alpha’s touch versus my own. It was a craving I had never wanted, but that point was mute now. I didn't know how to handle it. However, it seemed that I was going to find out fast. I could smell a familiar scent, one that I happened to be thinking of. I stood on wobbly legs and drug my body to the door, flinging it open with all my willpower. James sat against the wall across from the door and his head shot up when the door opened. I know my scent spread to him, probably enveloping all of his senses like he was doing to mine. He quickly rose to his feet and my hands reached out for him. I tripped over the frame and James caught me, my skin instantly relaxing in his hold. I cried out in relief as he wrapped his arms around me. I looked up to meet his eyes, “What were you doing out here?” Not that I really cared, as long as he was here. “I didn’t want you to be alone.” He said, his voice quiet and soft. My brows furrowed, “So you’ve been sitting out here the whole time?” James nodded, slowly moving me back into the room. I did my best to help, but his touch made my knees weak. He shut the door without a sound and scooped me into a bridal hold.

I wrapped my arms around me, “Please don’t have sex with me. I’ve - uh, never don-.” He interrupted me, “I would never take advantage of you, especially not in your first heat.” James laid me down in the middle of my make-shift nest, crawling in behind me. I pressed my back into his chest and took a deep breath, inhaling his scent uncensored. “Thank you for being here with me.” I spoke. He didn’t respond out loud, but his arm got tighter around me. I reached down and pulled the blanket from the end of the bed over us. I could still feel my heat, but James’ scent made me relax. I know slick was still coming out of my core but I didn’t want to touch myself in front of him. He sighed, “You don’t have to be uncomfortable, I’m just here to support you.” I nodded, throwing all self-control out of the window. My hands instantly pulled my shorts off and proceeded with my shirt, sitting up to do it. I’ve never been naked in front of anyone and my nipples hardened at the idea of James’ being the first. He quickly pulled the blanket up to cover me, as if he was trying to preserve my innocence. I knew I would be grateful later, but for now I was frustrated at him avoiding it. I wanted him to touch me, to look at my body and claim it. I scooted up so my head rested on his shoulder, my neck just inches from his mouth. My core was aching, so I returned my hand to it. Rubbing myself in front of him made me moan out. I felt him turn his head to me, but I couldn’t meet his gaze with my eyes closed.

I was too focused on my own hand until he whispered in my ear, “You are so beautiful, Konstellation.” His tongue touched my neck, licking over my bonding spot. I came on the spot. I rode my orgasm out with my left hand in his hair and another loud moan. I loved what he did to me, never having realized what I was truly missing out on before this moment. Being an omega was my destiny and suddenly I loved it. I loved having an alpha behind me, urging my actions on yet still respecting my boundaries. The haze cleared for a second and I suddenly felt embarrassed by his gaze on me. His hands were above the blanket, avoiding my breast. “Don’t stop, it’ll hurt again. I don’t want you to hurt.” He whispered to me. Sounds erupted from my chest, as if I was purring at his soft words.

_____

My heat lasted for five days. I spent every moment either sleeping or touching myself to James’ words. He made sure I ate and drank water, going to the bathroom to shower and take care of myself. James never looked at my body, always keeping his eyes on my face. When my heat ended, a knock came from the door. My father opened the door with his classic, “Knock, Knock.” I looked up to see his face read absolute furry, “You mother fucker!” James instantly sat up, as if to move away and my arms shot up to calm my father, “Dad, stop!” The alpha behind me kept the blanket up, hiding my body from my angry father. My father continued to charge towards us, “No, Konstellation! He took advantage of you while you were vulnerable!” I wrapped the blanket around my body and stood up, “No! He didn’t, dad! James didn’t even touch me.” My body stood in between the two. James got up and stood up behind me, “Sir, I would never hurt her.” I could see my father roll his eyes, “The Winter Soldier would hurt anyone he put his hands on and I saw what I saw.” Others soon followed through the door, Steve Rogers leading the group. Pete and Wanda shoved their way to the front, Pete speaking first, “Bucky, what the hell?”

“Let’s all just take a second and listen to them,” Bruce spoke. I felt James move from behind me to stand in front of me, blocking me from the view of others. “Bucky, I think you should leave them to talk.” Steve said. I heard the growl from James, “Not until she can have privacy to get dressed.” It made my heart warm, he was still protecting me. I heard shuffling and when I peaked around, most people were gone with the exception of my father. His face softened and he met my eyes, “Kon Kon, I know it’s scary presenting even if we have differences. I can’t let you get hurt.” I moved out from behind James, who seemed reluctant to let me, “Dad, he didn’t hurt me. James never even touched me and he made sure to never look anywhere but my face. He didn’t want me to be alone through my first heat.” My father looked between the two of us, “Bucky, is this true?” James nodded beside me, “Yes, sir. I know that I’ve done unforgettable things as the Winter Soldier, but he doesn’t exist any more. It’s only me, James.” My dad almost smiled, “Okay, but you better watch it.”

James nodded. My father and him both walked out the door, with a lingering look from James. A smile was on his face. I smiled back and he shut the door behind him. I quickly put clothes on, which seemed to include Konrad's shirt and Wanda’s leather leggings. I slipped on my old socks and hesitantly walked outside the room. I tried to take in everything, which was hard for my eyes to believe. My mom seemed to be scolding my father and James as my siblings watched, Tony and Steve were clearly in heated argument, and everyone else seemed to be indecisive on which conversation to listen in on. I cleared my throat and I was, again, the center of attention. My brother and sister ran for me and almost took me to the ground; Karen had her arms around my neck and Konrad was squeezing my stomach, which must have looked funny since he was almost a foot taller than me. I smiled at their embrace, even if they were suffocating me. “You smell different, Kon Kon.” Karen said as she pulled away, “I don’t know how I feel about it.” Konrad straightened his back and put a hand on my shoulder, “I know. It suits you, all chocolate-y and stuff.” I laughed and pulled them closer to me again, “I can finally smell you guys. Konrad, you smell like rain and Karen, you smell like citrus.” They both laughed and embraced me again, though I winced when Karen brushed my neck. She looked at me and whispered, “Did he bond you?” I shook my head, “No, I’d probably feel better.” Karen chuckled, “Good, mom might actually kill him.” I looked at mom and James, who both smiled. My mom walked closer and I left my siblings to wrap my arms around her. She took a deep breath and pulled back to look at me, “God, Kon Kon. You had us all worried.”

I nodded, “I know, mom. But, go easy on James. He really took care of me.” Mom looked back at me and leaned close to my ear, “You smell like him. It makes me happy you weren’t alone.” I smiled and nodded, a little choked up to respond. Pete and Wanda were next to embrace me. Wanda pulled back, “Are you sure you are okay?” I looked back to James, who smiled, “Yeah, I’m good. A lot better than I expected.” Having all of these people surround me just makes me realize how loved I truly am. Pete and Wanda have barely known me a week and are already taking care of me like another omega. Man, Carter is going to lose his mind. I looked around at the room, filled with people who were worried about me and stayed around. While I never dreamed of being an omega, I know knew that I wouldn't want it any other way. I look forward to see my new destiny.

#original character x bucky barnes #oc x bucky barnes #fanfic #alpha bucky barnes #slow burn #the avengers #marvel fanfiction #marvel cinematic universe #marvel smut #omega reader

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thaliaisalesbian · 9 months

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i get myself twisted in threads

Chapter 11: i tell you my problems

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15

“What do you and Nancy want with me?” Steve wouldn’t be asking if his head was in a better place, probably.

But his stupid ankle had to get infected, there just had to be something in there, and now he’s not allowed to walk.

(Okay, he wasn’t supposed to be walking a lot in the first place, but he managed for weeks in the Upside Down. He was fine.)

The fever’s not helping, either. He’s always like this when he gets a fever, running high both emotionally and physically. He wishes literally anyone other than Jonathan or Nancy was here to deal with this. Then no one would be any wiser as to what’s going on in his head.

At least last time, he was so out of it that saying something he really doesn’t want them to know was hardly even possible.

“We want you to get better, Steve.”

“No. That’s not what I mean.” Jonathan playing dumb only riles him up more. He’s been told not to get excited, but he doesn’t care right now. “You have no idea how much this has been eating me up inside. Why are you doing this? Why are you two being so nice? If it’s for the kids’ sake, you don’t have to. I’ll stick around even if you’re not being nice to me. If it’s because you’re feeling guilty, quit it. I made my choice.”

“Steve—”

“I heard you, okay! I know what you think of me, you and Nancy, so it’s better if you stop acting like we’re friends when you hate me!” Steve blames the fever when he starts crying. “I heard! I know you know that! Stop pretending!”

finish on ao3 or continue under the cut

Jonathan would love to say that he responds really well when Steve starts crying about what he’d overheard.

Instead, he just drops the bowl he’d been carrying, and the sound of it shattering on the floor only makes things worse.

Steve curls away from the sound, and when Jonathan reaches for him, he pulls away. Jonathan has really only comforted Mom, Will, and Nancy before, and they’re all okay with touch. Steve… seems like he isn’t, and Jonathan doesn’t know what else to try.

“Steve,” He whispers, before repeating it a little louder. Steve doesn’t move, though, his face pressed against his knees. “Steve, come on. I don’t—I don’t know how to help you. Please just answer me.” Jonathan almost starts to clean up the glass, but it’s harder than he’d thought it would be, keeping up a rambling conversation with himself as the only participant. He abandons the bowl to stand next to the bed instead, trying to figure out if it’s working or not.

Steve stops crying after a few minutes, so that has to mean something, doesn’t it?

He still can’t get close to Steve, or get him to respond at all.

Mom’s supposed to be home soon, he’s pretty sure. She’ll know what to do. She always knows what to do when he or Will is running a fever.

“Steve,” He keeps his voice low. He’ll probably have to explain himself twice, doing it this way, but at least he’ll have the words out. It’s all wrong—Nancy’s not here, Steve is probably too upset to pay attention, and he doesn’t even have anything for them to eat—but maybe it will do something.

Jonathan needs it to do something.

“Steve, what you overheard, that’s not the full conversation. We never got a chance to say anything, because of the gate the kids found, and then everything else, but…” Nancy’s got a whole speech planned, he’s pretty sure. He’s not good at this. Not the way she is, not the way Steve can be. He’s not used to talking out his emotions. Mom and Will are good at understanding what his actions mean, and Nancy’s getting there.

He’d thought, before this, that Steve was learning too. As a friend, if nothing else.

Now, Jonathan doesn’t know if that was just wishful thinking or not.

He knows that he's been learning to read Steve, though; the other day is proof of that.

"Steve," Jonathan starts again, sitting a little closer but not touching him. "Steve, we didn't mean that we didn't want you around. We really didn't mean that we hate you. We… we were talking about how difficult it is to be your friend, when what we want is something more."

Once he’s started, it’s hard to stop. There’s a lot he’s been thinking about, a lot of things he and Nancy have been whispering about since before Steve got stuck in the Upside Down.

“Nancy likes seeing you in my clothes, that’s why she stopped bringing you yours once she’d gotten the sweatshirt she wanted. The few times we’ve shared a room, or a bed, and I’ve woken up before you, I just watch you sleep for a minute or two before I get up.” He keeps going, telling Steve about how worried they’d been, how Hopper and Mom have noticed that something’s up.

Jonathan keeps watching Steve as he rambles, hoping he doesn’t run out of things to say, hoping that Steve is actually hearing him.

By the time Steve’s looking him dead in the eyes, Jonathan’s beginning to think that he has more to talk about than he ever knew. That he knows Steve, and Nancy, and himself, better than he thought he did.

“Jonathan? Steve?” Mom’s voice cuts through his, and Steve drops his gaze.

“In the bedroom, Mom.” It’s Hopper’s bedroom, which Jonathan is pretty sure Steve has tried to fight him on it, but right now, Steve’s about as capable of fighting Will as he is Hopper.

“Oh, what happened?”

“Dropped a bowl, didn’t get the chance to pick it up, sorry.”

“No, stay there, you don’t have shoes on.” His mom leaves the door open as she cleans up the pieces, telling them about her day.

Steve doesn’t even look at him again. Jonathan doesn’t know if he can put it down to the interruption, or the fever, or maybe he’s just got to think everything over.

None of the logical reasons make it feel any less devastating.

Mom doesn’t pry, on the way home. She keeps glancing at him like she wants to, but she doesn’t ask and Jonathan’s grateful for that. He wouldn’t know what to tell her. He doesn’t know what to tell himself.

He’s going to have to talk to Nancy about this. She has to know that Steve… well, at least he knows now, right? Even if it might have made everything so much worse.

He’ll have to call her tonight. And tell her… something.

Waiting to see Steve itches at all the kids, Nancy can tell. Even Mike has been grumpy about it lately, and he’s still pretending that Steve’s his least favorite person.

But Owens, Hopper, and Joyce have been firm on limiting visitors until he's able to move on his own more, especially after the infection set in. Steve is really not happy about not being able to walk, she knows, but it was the scariest for her—for all of them—when the fever first set back in.

They’d just gotten him awake and coherent, even though he was far from healed, and suddenly they’d needed to prepare to lose him all over again. At least, that was what it felt like.

Irene has her hands full on her daily visits, now. Steve’s awake more often than not and she knows he’s trying, but it doesn’t make it any easier on him. Especially not when he’s still running a low-grade fever; nowhere near the danger zone anymore, just enough for him to feel like shit.

Nancy closes her eyes tightly for a minute. It doesn’t feel like it’s only been two weeks since they got Steve back. How has it already been a week since that day she and Jonathan took him on a drive?

(That was the last time he was allowed to go anywhere; they’d caught the infection the next afternoon.)

“He's restless.” Jonathan murmurs to her at lunch. It’s the second update she’s gotten on Steve today. Her mom hadn’t let her stay on the phone long enough last night for Jonathan to tell her everything, and the lockers might as well have ears when it comes to them right now.

Everyone wants to know something, anything, about Steve, and that means any mention of his name gets everyone’s attention.

“He wants to see the kids; he hasn't been sleeping well. El helps, but there’s only so much one little girl can do.” Jonathan glances around again, as though someone has suddenly teleported to their table.

Nancy doesn’t think El can do that, so they’re probably safe. For now. God help them if El ever figures out how to teleport, though.

She and Jonathan have been taking nights in shifts with Joyce and Hopper, but it's a little harder for her to get out to Hopper's cabin. Her parents still try to enforce their rules, even if she hasn’t taken very well to them in the past. The very recent past, at least. Her days of being her parents’ good girl, the perfect example to hold up for Mike and Holly, are gone.

“Maybe we can convince Hopper and your mom to move him back to yours.” She knows the answer will be no, though. Too many people, probably. It would give the kids near-constant access to Steve when they aren’t in school.

“He’s been trying to make Hopper and El breakfast.” What Nancy wants to know about is something they’re not talking about here, apparently.

Spotting movement at Steve’s old table, Nancy puts a finger to her mouth before he can continue.

Tommy H is heading their way.

He’s been watching them for a few days, but he hasn’t asked about Steve again.

Not yet, at least.

“Hey, Wheeler, Byers.“ He nods to them, but he won’t sit down. “I just wanted to know if you knew anything else. I know Steve is out because he’s hurt or whatever, but I went by his house and he wasn’t there.”

Shit. Of course he’d go by Steve’s house. Why wouldn’t he? Nancy just hopes he doesn’t know where Steve’s spare key is kept; if he lets himself in and sees that it’s been mostly abandoned the entire time, they’ll have more questions to answer.

“He’s not recovering at home.” Nancy tells him, against her better judgment. She probably shouldn’t be giving any information to him. Former best friend or not. “He can’t stay by himself right now.”

“Well, where is he?”

Yeah, she’s not giving him that. Hopper would kill her, and she doesn’t even think Steve would want to see Tommy.

“We don’t know ourselves.” Jonathan says. “The chief is handling it.”

“How do you even know if he’s been found?”

“We’re the ones who found him.” She wants to make him step back with the force of her glare. It doesn’t work. “We’ve talked to him on the phone. We don’t know anything else. It’s for his safety, Hagan.”

“He’s really in that much danger?” He finally sits down a few seats away from them. “I mean, there were kidnappings a few times when we were kids, but I didn’t think there had been one in a while.”

Kidnappings?

“Yeah, because they wanted money from his parents. They kept it all pretty quiet whenever it happened, I’m not surprised you didn’t know.” He stays for a few more minutes, maybe hoping one of them will slip and tell him something, but they don’t talk until he’s gone.

“That would be a good excuse.”

“We’ll talk to Hopper about it.”

“I don’t have work tonight.” Jonathan says, as they head back to class. “Would it be alright with you if I tagged along?”

She almost wants to say no. He’s been able to see Steve a lot more than she has this week.

He saw Steve last night. And something happened, apparently.

So she can’t really say no. And even if nothing had happened, Nancy knows she needs to talk with both of them at the same time, too. She and Jonathan have done a little talking; not enough.

And now Jonathan’s talked to Steve. Or maybe at him is a more apt descriptor. Either way, she just hopes that some of it made sense to Steve in spite of the fever. That he understood what Jonathan was telling him.

“Yeah, l think that's a really good idea, actually.”

“We can't just dump this on him.” Jonathan warns, like she doesn't know that. Like he hasn’t already done that. “We don't even know if he likes us or not.”

Last night’s reaction must not have given Jonathan a lot of hope for this going well for them.

Telling Steve, telling anyone, is a risk. A gamble; he might ruin Jonathan's life with this; hers, too, but the impact would fall much harder on Jonathan.

Nancy doesn't think he will. Maybe last year; maybe the boy he had been would have. Now?

She wouldn’t risk it if she thought there was a chance it would happen. Jonathan wouldn’t, either, for all he doesn’t care about social status, he’s still aware of how much worse it would be if people knew.

She’s barely focused in the rest of her classes, enough that one of her teachers pulls her aside to ask what’s going on. She mutters an excuse about being worried about Steve and nearly runs to Jonathan’s car.

“The kids are all going to yours today, right?”

“Yeah, we don’t have to worry about them.”

Jonathan fills her in, finally, on what happened last night.

“You think he actually, like, remembers any of it?”

“I hope he does. But I don’t know. He wouldn’t even look at me for the rest of the night, and he didn’t say goodbye to me or Mom.”

Hopefully it just means that he needed time to process. Not anything worse. She and Jonathan, they’d deal with it if Steve doesn’t like them, or if he wants space, but it will hurt so much more than the whole ‘when should we tell him?’ thing they’ve had going.

El opens the door before they knock.

“Hey, El. How’s today been?” Nancy asks. She wants to see Steve, but she’s not going to ignore El. The poor girl has enough going on, she doesn’t need to be pushed aside as well.

“Quiet.” She tells them, “Thinking, but not.”

What does that mean? Has El been reading his mind or something? How can someone be thinking and not thinking at the same time?

“You will help.” El seems so sure that whatever’s going on, they can fix it.

She still has that little-kid confidence in her that adults can make everything better.

(Well, some adults. It only applies to the ones she knows, Nancy’s pretty sure. Maybe that’s for the best.)

Nancy wishes it were that easy. If she knew an easy solution to this, she’d take it in a heartbeat.

“We’re going to try.” Jonathan promises her. She stares at them for a long moment before going back to the couch.

Nancy doesn’t think for a minute that she’s not going to be listening in.

Steve’s laying in bed, just staring at the ceiling.

“Steve?” He doesn’t even acknowledge them. She sits on the bed, makes sure her movements are slow before she starts finger-combing his hair.

Nothing.

Jonathan is quick to sit on his other side.

The pitcher of water on the nightstand is full; the cup next to it is completely dry.

“Steve?” She whispers, leaning closer. Anything to get him to respond.

“Go away.”

“Why would we leave you like this, Steve?” Jonathan asks, and she thinks he’s a little afraid of the answer.

She is too.

“Just go away.”

“We’re not leaving.”

He finally looks at her, actually looks at her, but something in his eyes is strange. It’s not the same as the unfocused look he gets when he’s in pain or trying to hide something, but it’s close. It’s not from the fever; he’s still warm, but the type of warm you get from lying under blankets all day, which he’s been doing.

She just can’t name it.

The fact that she can’t figure out what it means stings a little. Nancy should be able to do that, right? They dated for almost a year, she’s been in love with him for months now, and she can’t figure this out.

“Leave me alone.”

“No.” Jonathan pulls Steve up so he’s sitting, and gestures toward the water. “El said you were quiet. Is something hurting again? Did you pop a stitch?”

“No.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“Just—” Steve looks at her, like he’s hoping she’ll help him, but she’s not going to. Nancy’s not going to let him evade his way out of this. “Leave me alone!”

“No.” She hands him the full glass. He’s not in a bad enough mood to reject it.

Or maybe he just doesn’t want it to spill, because he knows he wouldn’t be able to clean up the mess. They wouldn’t let him. He’s been healing, but the risk of popped stitches is still too high, especially with his recent infection.

Steve only takes a few sips, but it’s better than nothing.

“Leave me alone.” It lacks the conviction of the last time he said it. “You need to leave.”

“No.” She and Jonathan can probably do this all night. They’re stubborn enough.

Unfortunately, so is Steve.

“Why not?”

“Why would we?” Jonathan counters.

“I don’t—” He cuts himself off.

“No. Finish that sentence.” She flinches a little when she hears her voice.

Cold, unyielding.

Nancy doesn’t want to talk to him that way, especially not right now. She doesn’t want to make things worse.

“Leave me alone.” He repeats, but it’s quiet. Weak, even as he moves to push them away. “Leave me alone! I don’t deserve this! I don’t deserve to be comforted.”

Nancy doesn’t know where this is coming from. Steve loves being touched, he put his arm around her whenever he could when they were dating. Sometimes it’d been a little much for her, and he’d backed off, but she knows it’s something he likes.

Or maybe he remembers what Jonathan said last night, and this is his way of handling it.

“You do.” Jonathan’s quieter, now, too. Maybe so El won’t hear, though that’s probably a lost cause. The TV’s gone off in the living room, and Nancy can’t remember the last time she heard it on. El probably turned it off the minute they left the living room.

“I don’t.” Steve is shaking, she realizes. She takes the glass from him, sets it down, and climbs fully onto the bed, curling close enough to him that she’s nearly on his lap.

Steve stares at her, the look from earlier not quite gone yet.

“You do, Steve.”

He only shakes his head this time. Jonathan half-lifts Steve and moves so Steve’s actually on his lap, sandwiched between them.

“Why do you think you don’t deserve this?”

“I don’t.”

“Why? Give me a reason, and I’ll tell you why you’re wrong.” Jonathan glances at her. “We’ll both tell you.”

God, Nancy hopes this helps. If Steve even lets them do it in the first place.

<- 10 12 ->

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thisisarcanereverie · 2 years

Text

Exit Strategy (DARK! Moon Knight x Reader) the Knight and Pawn Series.

Hey so I didn't expect this to get so popular, so I would like to say thank you for that. I've thought a bit about where I want this series to go I just want to say this.

I don't condone any of these actions of these characters, this is a work of fiction.

anyways with that out of the way my taglist is open, so in case you wanted to be a part of it go ahead and ask in the ask box, even if you just want to say hi it's right there.

This chapter is a bit shorter since I have to go somewhere early tomorrow and I didn't have a lot of time to write today, but I'm trying to push one chapter a day as a challenge for me.

Anyways as always, triggering material below, Minors DNI, and thank you for reading.

You didn’t know how many days passed by since that day.

You replayed that scene in your mind over and over again. The sickening crack, his final words to you, everything you could have done differently. You even made a list in your head.

You could have run faster.

You could have fought harder.

You could have gone in the middle of the night.

You could have loved him better.

You could have not loved him at all.

The last one was the one you always came back to. If it hadn’t been for you, had it not been for your love for him, Alec would be alive.

Alec would still be alive if it wasn’t for you.

You thought about his mom, his sister, his friends and family and all that would miss him and you hated yourself. Because if it wasn’t for you, they would still have Alec.

You were the cause of all of this.

So maybe this is what you deserved.

Every morning Marc would bring you breakfast, it was usually a blueberry bagel with cream cheese and fruit, usually accompanied with a cup of coffee. The first morning came and you didn’t touch it, same with lunch and dinner. Second day came with the same routine. When the third day came he practically forced the food down your throat, not caring if you protested against him. It was that day that you learned to eat the food he gave you, even if you would rather starve.

You hadn’t been out of the room since your arrival, but from what you knew, this wasn’t the flat in London that Steven or Marc owned. It was somewhere new, somewhere bigger and a lot less dingy. The room you were in had an adjacent bathroom and it was a decent size, marble counters and a clawfoot tub. You didn’t know how Marc could afford all of this when he was struggling to make ends meet before you parted ways.

Three knocks on the door resounded the quiet room, it was always three knocks before he entered in case you weren’t decent.

Not like he cared anyway.

When the dark haired man entered the room you immediately knew it wasn’t Marc, with his hair more unkempt and the soft sweater adorning him you knew instantly who he was.

Your Steven with a V.

“Steven?” You asked quietly in disbelief, you could see his eyes light up and a smile stretch his face. You slowly went up to him, looking in his eyes trying to see if it was one of Marc’s cruel jokes. But you saw no traces of the man who took everything you loved, and once you did the force of the hug you gave Steven nearly knocked the wind out of him. You cried into his chest, possibly ruining the soft sweater he was wearing.

“Not that I don’t want the hug sweetheart, but I don’t want to spill your breakfast.” Steven said as you let go of him, he set the breakfast tray down gently beside you before opening his arms again, beckoning you back into the embrace before, which you happily gave into. You stayed like that a while, sobs wracking your body as you breathed in the scent of his sweater. Which only made you sob harder.

Because Steven smelled like him.

Once you were so dehydrated that crying did not seem like a possibility anymore, you greedily gulped the water Steven gave you and bit into the piece of toast that came with your breakfast.

“So what’s the plan?” You asked, swallowing the bite of crunchy toast before downing it with water.

“What plan?” Steven asked as he gave you a cute confused look, one that you thought resembled that of a first grader.

“The plan Steven,” You said, “the plan to get me out of here before Marc comes back.”

You weren’t anticipating the long pause that followed, Steven sighed as he gently took your hand in his, rubbing circles against your skin. His dark eyes bore into you something unlike him, borderline dark.

“There isn’t a plan sweetheart,” Steven said looking you in the eye, you weren’t sure if you were processing this correctly.

“What do you mean there isn’t a plan?” You asked, your voice shaking nervously. You heard him sigh again, his hands playing with yours. Something he did absentmindedly, without knowing he did.

“I mean there isn’t one,” Steven said, all at once it clicked and you withdrew your hand away from him as though he was on fire.

Steven wasn’t going to help you.

Steven was going to keep you.

“I thought you were better than him.”

“I am.”

“No you’re not,” you said, retracting yourself away from Steven, “you’re doing exactly what he’s doing.” You recoil away as Steven tries to touch you again.

“I’m not,” He defended, “we love you sweetheart, we always have. We tried keeping Marc away from you as best we could for those few years, but when news of your engagement reached us. We all agreed, Alec didn’t deserve you-”

“You’re right,” you said, “Alec didn’t deserve what I did to him.” You said, reciting the list in your head of all you could have done differently.

“We love you,” Steven repeated, “when you said you needed time away from Marc we agreed. Marc was in the wrong for what he did, but we didn’t think you were going to leave like that. That you were going to run off with some other good looking chap.”

“But I didn’t ‘run off’ with him.” You corrected, “I just fell in love with him.” You dropped to the ground, back against the wall and your knees to your chest. Your heart was breaking all over again with betrayal, this time from the one person you didn’t expect it from.

Your sweet Steven with a V.

You were unresponsive when Steven knelt to your height and enveloped you in a hug, you tried not to melt into his touch as he rubbed soothing circles against your back. You stayed like that for a minute or two before Steven let you go.

“We’ve got to go take care of a few things sweetheart,” he whispers as he gives the top of your head a kiss, “We’ll be back soon to give you some more clothes,” he gets up from the ground and to the door, and before he closes it he says goodbye.

“Laters Gators.”

And then suddenly you were alone again.

—

Night rolled in and you laid in bed, half asleep half awake, after spending the last year and a half with someone beside you every night, it was a hard adjustment to sleeping alone. You barely got a couple of hours in before you would wake up.

You weren’t sure what time it was, you assumed very early in the morning when you felt the bed dip beside you and a muscular arm wrap itself around your torso. You involuntarily tensed, giving away your lucid state.

“Go back to sleep starlight,” Marc whispered in your ear before placing a gentle kiss against your shoulder, “I won’t do anything funny without your permission.”

And with that you pretended to sleep until you felt him take slow, deep, and steady breaths in. You tried to move away only for his arm to hold you tighter against him still.

So whether or not you liked it, that’s where you stayed for the remainder of the night, embraced by the man who killed your fiance, and whether or not you liked it.

For the first time since he brought you there, you had a restful night's sleep.

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plushii-gutz · 10 months

Text

Part 1 of 5 for Thorns - note that a couple of days have passed by now. A huge segment of this will be taken directly from Viola's profile, so I'm sorry if a lot of this has already been seen ^^" A familiar face is owned by @bear-cubs-art-things

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶

Viola had finally arrived home after the long walk from the hospital.

The incident back at the bar had made her become nervous about any illness that could have been spread through a bite. The monster world had faced an epidemic of a human disease known as rabies long ago. As often as it was joked about, it was commonly fatal with little known survivors. All three members of the bar fight had been tested, each luckily coming back negative. Their wounds are treated, as expected, and they were set to leave the following morning.

Viola paid them a visit the following day, both to offer support to her friend and to agree to disagree with foes. Blue was smart enough not to press charges, much to the dismay of Twig. Creature had promised to work on her actions, so long as Viola offered support. Though reluctant, she agreed.

All she needed to do now was settle into her bed, and god, was she excited for that. She doesn't really recall walking into her house that night - just waking up on her couch the next morning feeling just as exhausted as if she hadn't slept at all.

Waking up that morning felt unreal. Maybe it was because she was still tired. Maybe because she wasn't used to having others within her home. The living room had a soft, sweet scent that Viola couldn't recognize right away, but it was certainly familiar. Perry had made a simple bowl of oatmeal for Lily, who seemed to enjoy the additional strawberries and sugar added in as she sat on the floor and enjoyed the morning cartoons.

"Well, g'morning there sleepin' beauty," Perry teased. "Feels like I haven't seen you in days. Well, other than last night."

"Two days," she corrected, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Some crazy pompom bit a few monsters that I knew. I had to get them tested for any kind of illness and work out legal actions. You would think having your medical license revoked would lessen the number of monsters you have to take care of, but no. Silly me.. Wait, what happened last night?"

"Well, after makin' the nastiest Mac and Cheese I've ever seen, you stubbed your toe and laid on the floor for a couple of hours while crying about a relationship with a pango or something. You also managed t' make lemonade, which I find fascinating for how messed up ya were. Once I felt it was safe, I just moved you to th' couch. Didn't want the little one to see you like that."

Viola hid her face in her hands, grumbling about her head and regrets and embarrassment of the previous night. She hadn't gone drinking again, had she? Why was she so disoriented? A lack of sleep could be an explanation, but it hadn't been that bad. Has it?

"Have you been sleepin' well? or at all?"

"I've just been busy."

"Alright," Perry sighed, helping Viola sit up. "What's goin' on in that fuzzy head of yours?"

"It's nothing. I'm just worried for my friend."

"Well.. Didn't seem like nothin'. You were quite th' mess."

"I.. I don't know. I've felt off since I left with Jaiden. I'm going to hope she didn't poison me or something."

The barrb took a seat on the couch, listening.

"What makes you say that?"

"Perry, you don't - you don't need to 'help' me or talk about anything with me. We both have a lot going on, you know, with the kid, and you don't need any more stress."

"Honey, I can handle takin' care of a monsterling. Sure, it's a risk, but I've accepted it. I can tell there's more on your mind than stars in th' sky."

Why did Pereskia want to help so bad? Sure, it could just be common monster decency, but she had more than one reason to hate the bowgart. Shouldn't this be the other way around? It felt unfair.

"Could ya maybe tell me about your friend? You seem to be close with 'em."

".. His name is Blue. I've known him for a couple of years. I haven't spent a lot of time with him, really, but his friend Twig was one of my first patients. He was at the bar I went to a couple of days ago, though, so we.. caught up. Kind of."

"Kind of?"

"Well, the whole biting incident I mentioned earlier happened. Ended up cutting our conversation short to get everyone treated and settle differences to avoid legal actions. Twig wouldn't shut the hell up, though. Seriously, I want to smack him with a shovel."

Pereskia couldn't help but give a small chuckle to the last comment. Wouldn't that be funny!

"It feels weird," Viola continued, "having known him for so long but not.. knowing him."

"Have you thought about talkin' to him more?"

"Sometimes. But he has his own stuff to worry about. I'm not saying he'll worry about me in any way, but I'd rather not take the risk. He's one of those monsters that you rarely come across who you can trust instantly and have no whiplash from it. After what happened that night, I'd be surprised if he chose to still talk to me."

"Have ya tried?"

"Not exactly. I gave him the option to visit before leaving the hospital, so it's up to him if he wants to come back."

"Well, as long as he knows the door is open. By the way, there's some oatmeal left over if you'd like some."

"Oh yeah, sure. Didn't know I even had any."

"Viola, you have the saddest kitchen I've ever seen. I mean this with all the kindness I can muster, but have you ever used your oven?"

"My microwave has done more for me than anyone ever has."

"That explains it. C'mon, I bought some strawberries to mix in."

Viola draped the blanket over herself, dragging it as she walked into the kitchen. She went ahead and brewed some coffee, adding milk and sugar. She usually didn't have anything additional with her morning cup, but she didn't care much for following whatever schedules she used to have.

The day carried on with a palpable heaviness that rested on everyone within the house. Perry managed to keep a calm tone, which certainly helped with whatever rattled in Viola's mind. The barrb knew she couldn't get the other to talk, and it was the least she could do.

Lily had chosen a classic game that even Viola had played in her past. She laid out one of the many blankets that resided on the couch, setting up small porcelain cups and an old teapot that Viola simply never used. As there was pre-made tea readily available, their game was ready to begin!

The bowgart was hesitant to join at first, as she always seemed to be, but she wasn't as tense as she had been before. Whatever Perry was doing, it was working pretty well! Getting to know the kid better wouldn't hurt. As the game went on, Pereskia debated on baking something to add more. Perhaps later. For now, they grow to know one another.

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶

About an hour into their tea party, there's a knock at the door. Viola's fur stood up, a sudden rush of cold fear coursing through her body. She stood up, having the group hide within her room and lock the door.

Shaking off her worry, Viola opened the door a smidge to get a better look of who stood on the other side. Their deep blue pelt seemed familiar.. she opened the door, greeting the other bowgart.

"Oh. hey, Blue."

"Uh - hi!" Blue stuttered. He felt awkward already. "Just. Checking in to make sure you're doin' alright. And to thank you for.."

He does some gesturing with his hands, clearly referring to the treatment after the bar incident. Blue's leg nearly seemed like nothing but bandages. Whatever message that pompom wanted to send, it definitely had gotten across. Would have been easier to just use words, but that would be expecting too much, wouldn't it? Maybe Creature could be visited another time.

"Ah. Yeah, no problem."

Viola thought back on her talk with Perry. Blue knew the door was open, so he came.

".. Hey, do you want to come in? If you're not busy, that is."

She moved aside, giving him the option to enter. He agreed, walking with a slight limp and looking through the new surroundings. His eyes fell to the blanket resting on the floor, the ceramic playset still filled with tea and crumbs sitting on old plates.

"Am.. am I intruding on something?" He asked, motioning to the cups. "I-I can leave if I am, I don't mean to interrupt."

"Uh -"

Viola was quick to bundle everything up, likely making the mess bigger, but at least it was within the blanket. She simply tossed it aside, climbing back over the couch.

"That was from earlier, I was.. watching a monsterling. Or something. Please, do come in."

Definitely not the strangest of excuses, but Viola had been vocal in her past of her disliking of children. It had been a while since the two had talked, though. Perhaps she had a change of heart? It reminded Blue of the monsterling of his own, Tweedledee the maw. He gave half a sigh, half a laugh, and made himself a seat on the couch.

"Didn't know you got into babysitting," he commented. It was lighthearted. He was happy to be in the presence of a friend. At least, one that wasn't constantly getting into fights.

"Anyways, how've you been? It's..it's been a while since we've talked.

He gave a smile. That smile alone told Viola that Blue was kind, with a big brain and an even bigger heart. Filled with empathy, no doubt. She didn't know if she could step through the door he had opened.

"Well, I had to do something with my time. It's better than being flooded with diseased monsters."

She returned the joke, though a bit less of a funny one. Viola took a seat as well, thinking of her answer to Blue's question. Her debating between truth and lie was more obvious than she would have liked, and she knew it.

"I've been.. existing," she shrugged.

There was just something about Blue's soft expression that assured her. Even so, she just didn't know how to talk. She sighed, pushing her glasses up. That collected, informative doctor persona took charge.

"If I'm being honest, my mind has been all over the place. What I told you back at Barry's was hardly even a summary of what all happened back at the hospital."

"Oh?" Blue shifted a bit, allowing his friend to know he intended on listening. "Well, what happened? If you don't mind me asking."

That shell was growing back. It grew around her, ordering for her to keep her mouth shut and her chin up. The bowgarts eyes flickered between her friend and the floor. Honesty is annoying damn it. Is it too late to call quits? The door is right there. She doesn't have to do this. Does she? Viola took a breath, treating the situation as any other doctor would.

"Plant Island's weather has been scrambled recently, if that wasn't obvious enough. Unsurprisingly, it's affecting other islands as well. If you've noticed more monsters walking the streets, that's due to the fire monsters moving to this area to avoid the cold. Amber is a wreck right now, and I thoroughly believe Plant will be next."

She fixed her position, fidgeting with her hands.

"Of course, all those patients were dumped onto me and my hospitals, which was severely understaffed at the worst possible time. After a good amount was diagnosed with nothing more than Chills, we treated every monster accordingly. Unfortunately for me, I was given the one monster who had underlying illnesses."

Blue nodded, acknowledging every word being said. He would've asked who, but being that patient information was confidential between the patient and the professional, he figured it was best not to ask. Right now, he just needed to listen to his friend. He wanted to.

"I don't know what he had. But It was enough to kill him."

Her voice grew ever so slightly coarse. Her eyes seemed to look through the other bowgart, almost as if she were looking into the past. She could see it again.

"I've lost many patients in my time working there. Monsters die. I know that. But they've never died by my hands."

Blue's soft look turned more serious, acknowledging the circumstances and expressing his worry. This took a sudden shift, but he was determined to help. He knew almost nothing of Viola, but that wouldn't change his empathy.

"I'm a murderer, Blue."

With those words, she seemed to crack. That tough outter shell started to cave in.

"His wife wouldn't leave his side. She tried to find a doctor, she tried to find me, but I had left. I left to work with other sick monsters because I was stupid enough not to check him thoroughly. There were so many monsters, I.. I didn't know what to do. I just - I just went from room to room with no direction! She watched him die. She lost her husband that night. She lost the family she had never started. She lost her lifelong love, and she even lost her home. And I took it from her. I took everything from her because I was fucking selfish."

It was almost unnatural seeing Viola break, a visible stream of tears starting to fall from her eyes. The monster who couldn't seem to care less about herself and others, the one that always spoke with a sharp tongue and sarcasm. A sharp-toothed grin forced itself through, determinded to keep her emotions stable to what she was willing to show. It only made her feel worse.

"Hehe, and I think 'Hey! Isn't this famililar? Isn't this exactly what they did? You really are no different than where you came from!"

Why was she telling him this? This is too much - she needed to stop. She needed to. There was a pause. Blue looked at Viola, concern written all over his face. He decided on his next words, trying to provide some comfort to her. He swallowed, unsure of what to say

"Monsters make mistakes, Vi. It's not your fault that you didn't know what he had. You're not a murderer."

He placed a gentle hand on hers, trying to give some reassurance.

"Monsters make mistakes. Doctors shouldn't. I'm supposed to give monsters care, I'm supposed to figure out why they're sick and not throw everything into one category. I know how she feels, Blue Watching the killer get away with taking your world. Taking all you had. It isn't fair."

Her sorrow shifted to frustration. She had told him of her second mistake. Would she be able to speak of her first?

"I would have let her kill me if she tried."

If she tried? You really are a liar.

"Let her kill you?" Blue furrowed his brows, worried. "Even doctors make mistakes. No one is perfect, not even a doctor. That's what makes us monsters."

"Mistakes are different between monsters and doctors. The consequences - they're so, so different. It wasn't just a mistake, Blue."

Her forced smile became crooked. She began to hiccup. Then sob. It wasn't pretty. Her glasses fell to the floor as she hugged herself, a mixture of horrid crying and jagged laughter coming from her mouth. She shouldn't speak, but it was too late to go back.

"It was fate, wasn't it?"

Blue bent over to pick up her glasses, wishing he had something to clean them with. He held them for a second, looking at them, trying to think of - no, searching - for something to say. Some action he could take to help her calm down. He swallowed, turning his attention from Violas glasses to her shrimped up puddle of a body. Heart-wrenching sobs shook through her. Definitely wasn't pretty.

Blue didn't reply right away. He was a bit stunned at her words, to say the least. They rang in his ears like bells that wouldn't stop chiming

".. what do you mean by 'fate'?"

His words were soft, barely audible. He knew something was very wrong, yet he didn't shy away from it. Why did he care? Why was he so.. nice? Viola questioned it over and over. He offered her galsses back.

"I.. I'm sorry, Blue. This- this has never happened before.. not in front of anyone."

Viola took her glasses, looking over the teary stains that coated them. God, she was a mess. She sat them aside, rather having blurry vision than seeing Blue's reaction to this. They had another pause, giving each other time to gather their thoughts.

"Fate.. my family has a history of repeating itself."

Viola's powdery blue eyes met the other bowgart's. She wants her words to stay with him and no one else.

"What I'm going to tell you.. I haven't said to any other monster. It was all over Cold Island, but as far as I'm aware, nothing has reached here."

Blue's hand rested on her shoulder, assuring her he was paying attention fully.

"I'm listening," he said in an almost hushed voice. Viola took in a long breath.

"I come from a wealthy family. Cold Island, to be exact. My parents didn't earn anything they had. It was just handed to them after my father's grandparents passed. They owned diamond mines, so it brought in a lot. Despite doing nothing but sitting on their asses, they were always busy. Honestly, I don't know what went through their minds when they chose to have kids."

Blue nodded.

"We were watched by the monsters who they hired, though my brother, Arlo, did more for me than anyone. Hell, I think he said he was the only one who watched me take my first steps. I have no idea how he remembered that - he would have been 4. Guess that just happens when you're given that much responsibility."

"I presume you and Arlo got along pretty well?" He asked.

"We did," she said, wiping her eyes. A smile formed - a real one. It wasn't like her pesky smirk or forced toothy grin from earlier. Blue couldn't help but smile, too. "We used to cause all kinds of trouble. One time, we copied a movie - I think it was over Festival of Yay? And used a sled down the stairs. It was late, and we weren't allowed to go outside, so we made the best of it. That's how I lost my first tooth! A baby tooth, of course."

Viola wanted to linger on those warm memories forever. There were plenty to do such. But she knew she needed to continue.

"Our parents wanted to put us in a private school. We weren't really up to it, and they didn't care enough to fight back. I.. wish they had."

"..care?" Blue asked. He felt as though he was being a bit insensitive, the word lingering on his tongue. Despite that, he could see the longing and genuinity of Violas expression. The first true smile that he had seen on her in ages, albeit a small one. And with that smile, he could see a little bit of Viola for who she truly was for the first time instead of seeing who she was forced to be. It was different, definitely, but it was a change for the better, no doubt.

"Yes," she answered simply. It was than she could - or would - express. "Most of our years were normal. We stood out a lot, though. Everyone knew of our wealth. At least, they knew of Arlo's. Obviously, I was just the annoying little sister with purple hair. I wasn't picked on for it or anything - it's just not a common coloration. Shades of blue? Yeah, it makes sense. Purple? Weird, but not impossible. I'm getting off topic. All that's needed to know is that it made me easily recognizable."

Viola froze. She hadn't spoken of anything yet, but it saddened her already. She could see the school hallways in her mind as clear as day.

"Arlo was awkward. We didn't have much of an established social circle. Monsters just came and went. I think he just wanted someone to hold on to, so he wasn't alone. He.. got into the wrong crowd. They were selfish monsters. They only knew him because he was the first to have everything. He had a car first, the latest phone first. He didn't even like the stuff he got - he liked how others thought he was cool. They wanted him in their group for the advantages. It was embarrassing, really. Their way of telling if someone was in their circle or not was through wearing black beanies. Everyone owned at least one! I mean, come on! If you want to be at least a little unique, at least choose a better accessory! Ugh."

As annoyed as she was, Viola still humored the tale. The other monster gave a short laugh, but it didn't distract him from the whole story.

"I guess he just wanted to fit in?" Blue asked, regretting the words the second they came out. Viola's fur stood up, but she accepted his curiosity. She's told him this much - it wouldn't hurt to tell more.

"He had been alone for a long time. Having your sibling as your friend only does so much. I can't blame him for wanting more - he deserved more. I just wish I could have done something."

She shook her head her head, almost as if she were trying to shake it of the thoughts. There was no use in fighting.

"They changed him. A lot. He didn't like himself anymore. But he was still my big brother."

"Was..?" Blue whispered.

Viola's throat felt as if she had swallowed needles. Her voice lowered, a last attempt to maintain a steady tone

"End of his senior year. They wanted to go out, to party or something. I asked if he could stay, if I could go. He didn't want me to see them. He said goodnight and left. He let one of his friends drive. They took him farther than he thought. He took things he'd never seen. He drank a lot that night. He hated alcohol. He saw who he was made into, and he hated it. I don't know what he said to them, but it was enough for them to steal his car and leave him to walk home."

She took another shaky breath.

"He never came home."

Silence. Uncomfortable, suffocating science. Blue felt his heart sink to the floor. He took notice of Violas tone, her expression, everything. The realization dawned on him, feeling as if he had been hit in the gut.

"Vi.." he found it hard to breathe, Viola's grief becoming his. "I.. I'm so sorry."

"I can remember everything from that night," Viola allowed herself to cry. "He stopped answering my messages. He wouldn't answer any calls. I even messaged the people he was friends with. Nothing. It wasn't until I hunted down my parents that I got a response. We found him hours late, frozen to the sidewalk. He didn't come off in one piece. I saw him. No one kept me from seeing him. He wasn't wearing that damn beanie. I think he threw it away. I'm proud of him. I wish I could tell him that.

The tears didn't hide. It hurt so much. Blue looked at the floor, then back to Viola. He had never seen her in this state, nor had he ever expected to. He moved his hand to her far shoulder, bringing her closer to him, trying to provide ease and comfort for her in a friend's presence.

She seemed to sink into Blue immediately, bawling. No laughter. No hiding. Not anymore. She didn't need to hide it. She was safe, and she knew it. For the first time in years, Viola had a shoulder to cry on. it couldn't have lasted longer than a few minutes. As did everything, it felt far longer.

All the years of bottled up feelings were being spilled into the drain at last.

"I wish it ended here," she hiccuped. "It didn't. The same parents who gave little to no attention to their kids suddenly realized they had any at all. They kept the funeral hidden. covered everything with their money. I'I never forget seeing his "friends" faces as they put him underground. I wanted them dead. Arlo deserved to live, not them. No one ever looked into what happened. But I knew. I knew my brother. I knew the crowd he was pushed into. I couldn't show my face at school. Everyone knew who I was. Everyone wanted to know what happened. No one wanted to know how I felt. I returned to homeschooling. Another mistake I made. My mother wanted me to make up for his death. 'Make something of yourself. Don't disappoint us, Viola. You cared about him, didn't you?'."

She mocked her mother's words, bearing her teeth with spite.

"Medical school. They pushed plenty of their savings into it, moving me farther ahead than I was ready for. I can't stand hospitals. Fate," she recalled the word. "My family repeats its past. Those animals murdered Arlo. They took away everything I had. And I.. I did the same. I killed that monsters husband. She lost everything she had."

Viola looked to blue. For half a second, she seemed like nothing more than a kid. A confused, mourning kid.

"I know how that monster feels. She wants me dead. Just how I wanted his 'friends' dead. I can't pay her back with anything but my life."

Blue moved his hand, wiping a tear from his friends cheek with his thumb.

"Wishing for others' demises won't make things better, Vi. It'll only continue the cycle. That said.. I don't think you deserve to die because of the monster you were forced to be. That's unfair. You can't change your past, but you can change your future. Become the monster you want to be, not the monster you were forced to be."

He gave a smile. That damn smile. It could light up any room.

"Just know that when the world's against you, I'll be right here. I'Il be your biggest supporter if it comes to it."

He opened his arms a bit, offering. Viola hid her face in the hug, giving a sigh that let away to any remaining pain. It's been far too long since she felt the honest and true care of another monster. The edges of her mouth curled into a smile, comforted. Blue was real. It's almost impossible to grasp.

"You remind me so much of him.. Maybe that's why it took me so long to really know you. I wish it could have been different."

She let go, her thankfulness present in her expression. Still, she worried.

"I.. I'm sorry I put so much of my past on to you. I know you wanted to help, but it feels.. a bit much. This is the first time you've even visited me, other than needing Twig to get patched up again.. Is there any way I can pay you back?"

"There's no need, Viola," he assured. "I'm glad I was able to help you out.. actually, there's one thing you can do."

Blue set a playful hand on her shoulder.

"Just promise me you'll stay true to yourself from now on, yeah?"

He welcomed the change at full, glad to see one of his closest friends happy. Truly happy.

"I promise," Viola agreed. She doesn't know how much of it she can hold up, but she was more than willing to try. They shared another long embrace, Blue making sure Viola would be ok on her own. They said their goodbyes, promising to keep in touch. Her doors are always open, as are his.

Viola sat with her back against the front door, wiping her face off. God, that was.. a lot. Her mind tried to deny her ever speaking, but she was well aware of her actions.

Most of them. Her bedroom door opened, Perry walking out. She had this look - this unreadable look. Viola doesn't think Pereskia herself knew what it meant.

"Hey!" Lily yelled, running to the mess that once was their tea party. "You spilled the tea!"

"Boy, did she," the barrb sighed.

"Perry, I'm sorry, I got caught up and -"

"Honey, it's.. it's alright. As much as I hate hearin' about it again, it seems I'm not the only one who got hurt."

Pereskia offered her hand.

"Come on. Your talkin' isn't done yet."

#fanfiction #thorns msm #msm oc #msm au #my singing monsters #msm

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k0kichiimagines · 1 year

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WOAH OKAY YOUR ANGST WRITING NEARLY MADE ME CRY IT WAS THE ONE ABOUT SAERAN HAVING UNREQUITED FEELINGS FOR MC WHO IS MARRYING SAEYOUNG 😭😭😭

I've had a growing brainrot for saeran/unknown recently and I was wondering if you could write something about finally getting closer to saeran? something like fluff or you can just change it however you want, I trust your writing flair ✋🏻

i love writing se saeran so much <3 ahh i always loved the heart wrenching 'saeran loving mc in saeyoung's route' theories, it shatters my heart but i just had to write something at least once for it - i'm happy you liked it :D !

SE Searan x reader

: you truly do care for him, you'd wait all eternity just to sit by his side once

[Please hurry leave me, I can't breath, please don't say you love me]

[first love / late spring - mitski]

"Saeran?"

Saeyoung had left for the day, off to get a bunch of things done all in one go, and request you to stay. It wasn't uncommon for you to simply hang around the house, you'd grown fond of the twins, Saeyoung in a platonic best friends kind of way, and Saeran in that and a more… romantic sense. He was akin to a stray cat, staying firmly in his corner and only sometimes moving closer, enough for you to see his face clearly and the last bleached strands left in his hair, but never enough for him to do more then awkwardly sit near you.

Right now he was sitting on the grass outside, a blank look on his face as he stared into nothing. He didn't respond to your call, you didn't want to surprise him, nor did you want to leave him without checking on him. You sat next to him, holding your hand out as though to touch him but purposely leaving it hanging in the air - and he seemed to notice that and turn to face you. God, he looked rough, you could see it in his eyes. Silence fell over the both of you, he was clearly more comfortable with you then anyone else on a lot of days - the RFA seemed to see him as an unstable patient, and with his brother there was this awkward tension he could never bare for more then a few minutes at a time. But you didn't want to push it.

"Can I stay near you?"

"Sure." You let your hand drop near him, not yet breaking your gaze.

"Why do you want to?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you want to stay."

"Because I'm worried about you. I care for you." The answer felt too simple, too direct, something Jumin would state with an expression only readable by someone who cared deeply for him in return, but it seemed to be enough for his expression to soften slightly. He turned to stare up at the sky once more, but without the lost expression this time. Comfortable silence fell over the two of you, you followed his gaze to look up at the soft clouds moving slowly above you. A bird flew over once, and another close behind. You heard some more sing elsewhere.

"Are you this nice to everyone?"

"No, only the ones really special to me."

"And I'm special to you? I barely even speak to you." An emotion flickered across his face, guilt? Regret? Hope? You weren't sure, you weren't sure he was either.

"Yeah." You turned to find him looking at you once more, seemingly much closer then he was before. "You're special to me." You confirmed once more, voice trailing off into nothing as he moved close enough that your forehead was centimetres from his, you felt your heart pick up pace, he'd never been so close to you before, not since the day he'd smashed through the apartment window and held you threateningly. "Even if we're not super close right now, I like you. I care for you." Your hands made their away against his cheeks, and his eyes close at the overwhelming feeling of such a gentle touch. "I'm happy just sitting near you like this, I want the best for you, I…" You stopped yourself there. Such words would be too much today.

"Please don't tell me you … Not yet. Not now." His voice cracked ever so slightly at the end of his sentence, and he quickly blinked away any tears that threatened to fall. A useless action, because he felt them run down his face regardless at your soft nod, the unspoken phrase that you didn't need to say for him to feel, he felt it in the way your hands only felt softer against his skin, in the way you rested your forehead against his. In the way that right here, right now, he couldn't think of a single other person on this planet but the two of you.

#saeran x reader #se saeran x reader #saeran choi x reader #mystic messenger x reader #msyme x reader #🍓... saeran #choi saeran x reader #secret end saeran x reader

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station-aspenville · 9 months

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Chapter 3.

I haven’t heard from Alistair for the past week. Despite that, I still have been checking the radio everyday since the last broadcast, in hopes of hearing his voice. I did so partly out of boredom, and partly because I’ve begun to worry about his well being. It wasn’t my conscious attempt at caring about him; after all, he’s nothing more than some kid I've never even seen in my whole life. Yet, the warm “Hello, Aspenville!”, I heard this evening, came as a relief.

- I feel like I owe you an apology for my absence. - said the boy on the other side of the radio - The past week didn’t offer us any new information worth sharing with you, therefore I saw no point in even starting an audition. If I’m being honest, I began to question the very point of what I’m doing.

Alistair seems to still take himself way too seriously. This poor boy is too blinded by his own hopes and delusions to see that what he’s doing is nothing more than playing a game. He seems to believe that the faith of Aspenville lies in his hands. Do you really think you can save the world, Alistair?

Or perhaps I’m actually the one in the wrong…

- Luckily - the boy continued - I’m not coming to you empty handed today. What I managed to accomplish, in the past couple of days, may not be a lot, and I can’t blame you if you find it rather underwhelming, but I’m proud to say that it surely gives us hope for the future. Let me tell you about everything that happened lately:

I’ve spent the past week searching for answers. Day and night, I’ve been focused on one thing and one thing only - the truth. It wasn’t an easy search. I managed to find my dad’s phone book, containing the full list of numbers belonging to his former researchers. I have to admit, looking through my dad’s belongings after the late events wasn’t a pleasant experience. I try not to think about my parents. Looking back and getting stuck in the past would bring no good to my research, in fact, it would slow it down. After all, I’ve been told multiple times to always value reason over emotions.

I made multiple calls over the past week. Both to the research centre and the individual researchers themselves. It didn't take me too much time to realize that contacting the right people isn’t nearly as difficult as getting them to actually hear me out. Most of them dismissed my calls right away, the few who didn’t thought I’m crazy and hung up after realizing that they’re talking to a 17 year old. Perhaps I was crazy. Perhaps I still am. Perhaps me trying to find a way out of our current situation is actually a sign of pure insanity. None of that mattered to me. As long as I can help someone with my actions, I couldn’t care less.

Being viewed as a particularly immature teenager, who has too much time on his hands, by the very people who I considered to be my only hope wasn’t helpful. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I smiled purely for the sake of not raising concerns, and for that matter, I couldn’t even cry. Just laugh; laugh at the absurdity of this all. The world is absurd, the calamity (the public named it that, I never liked this term) and for all of it, my research is absurd. I questioned everything. I doubted myself. I became paranoid and then so very tired. And then a miracle happened. When I reached my lowest, I found what I was searching for. I finally found the truth - a young researcher by the name of Virgil Montgomery.

- I would love to eventually get Dr. Montgomery to talk with me on this program, however, from what I’ve noticed, he’s a rather shy person, and I don’t want to put pressure on him - Alistair continued - For now, I’m going to share with you the details of our research via radio, and we’ll see what future brings us.

He sounded ecstatic, I could just imagine how much all of this meant to him. After all, despite all the difficulties he had encountered, he managed to find someone just as passionate as him. Or perhaps just as insane. I’ve begun to question whether his research was actually child’s play, as I initially thought.

- Oh listeners - the enthusiastic voice spoke again - you have no idea how wonderful it feels! To finally have someone listen to what you have to say… I used to believe that credibility isn’t for me. Not right now, at least. I used to think that you gain a voice once you enter adulthood. Before that you can listen to what the elders have to say and obey them quietly. You may question what they say, but you’ll never be able to voice your concerns. It’s just like trying to scream under the water - no one can hear you. Since drowning is silent, without a solid voice to take a lead, this entire town is doomed to go down, and then - maybe the entire world. If Virgil Montgomery is the brain willing to help humanity overcome this crisis, I want to be the voice giving him a means to do so. As far as I know, he also knows how terrible it feels to be looked down on and ignored because of age or an uncommon approach to the problem. Well, it’s all in the past now. Isn’t it beautiful how both of us can help each other in helping the world?

I understood where Alistair’s excitement came from. Having an authority figure listen to what you have to say may feel like a blessing at his age. However something about all of this felt rather bittersweet.

Prioritizing his research, no matter how important wouldn’t it be to him, over his own emotional well being is something I can never consider admirable. Avoiding what brings him anguish, instead of trying to cope with it, seems like a rather foolish choice, one that might end in tragedy at that.

- I can’t say that I agree with every idea proposed by Dr. Montgomery - Alistair continued - in fact, we tend to disagree on quite a lot of matters. For example, Dr. Montgomery is very much in favour of the sunflowers theory, the one claiming that Strangers tend to be drawn to sunflowers, which I’m very much against. He claims that based on our current research this is the most logical explanation, however something about it just doesn’t sit right with me. I can’t even say why, it just feels terribly wrong…

Alistair seemed to get rather upset whenever the topic of sunflowers was brought up. It wasn’t difficult to understand why. With how much meaning those flowers held in his life, it was reasonable for him to get upset whenever his view of them as a symbol of joy and childlike hope was challenged. If he wants to actually contribute to finding a scientific explanation of the current situation, he would eventually have to let go of this nostalgia. I think it’s clear to see that Alistair tries to approach every problem with sheer cold logic, the same way as the people he admired growing up did, however he tends to get lost in his emotions while doing so. There’s nothing shameful about being a sensitive person, yet in his position this dissonance should be considered a fatal character flaw.

- During our last talk Dr. Montgomery mentioned working on some big theory, something that might possibly entirely change our perception of this situation. I don’t know about you, listeners, but I’m very excited to hear what he had been up to. I’ll make sure to keep you updated with every new information I receive. Both of us share the belief that in order for this program to be a trustworthy source of information we can’t hide anything from its audience, therefore I’m going to be absolutely transparent about our research.

I’ve noticed the sun beginning to set, and at that moment it occurred to me that I don’t actually want the broadcast to end. I missed Alistair’s voice and I didn’t want to wait another week to hear from him again; especially considering that the news he’ll have to deliver likely won’t be of pleasant nature.

- On a different note, I decided to work on making the radio station’s atmosphere more welcoming, since it doesn’t seem like we’ll be leaving it anytime soon. The small garden in the building’s backyard looks nothing like the one from my childhood; aside from a few sunflowers here and there - which as you already know are nothing uncommon around this area - it feels rather empty and neglected. I want to change it. Not only would it help to make this place feel more like home to both Neil and myself, gardening would aid me to occasionally focus on something else than our current situation. Who knows, perhaps I’ll even be able to harvest some fruit and vegetables as a food supply. This morning I found a package of narcissus seeds while looking around the station building. Since it’s early November, they most likely wouldn’t bloom if I planted them now, but I’ll make sure to do so as soon as their season starts. I was never a huge fan of those flowers, however now I think I’m beginning to like them.

Hearing Alistair get excited about flowers right after discussing his research on beings possibly serving as a threat to humanity, felt oddly innocent; almost in an unsettling way.

- Anyway - he went on - I feel like I’ve begun to ramble again. Goodnight, listeners, hopefully we’ll get to hear from each other again soon enough!

Sleep well, Alistair.

#writing #creative writing #original story #original writing #original work #writeblr community #writeblr #writblr #writersociety #writers of tumblr #tumblr writers #bookblr

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