#the thing about me is i hate making decisions

[redtsundere-writes]

sukuna and servant!reader is so good!! looking forward to rescue more of them <33

Eyes On Me | Sukuna Ryomen

king!sukuna ryomen x femservant!reader

Sypnosis: Uraume can't play chess with the king right now, you must step up. Contents: Obsession, pining, kinda fluffy, mentions of blood and body parts. Uraume uses they/them pronouns. Word Count: 2404 words. Author's Note: I love writing this ship. People have been asking me to make this a series. I'll try my best lol I think you can still read them individually, but there's a preferred order.

Beginning. ← Previous |

Sukuna hates humans. It's a fact of life. The sky is blue, roses are red and Sukuna hates the disgusting creatures that humans are. He has so many reasons to hate them that he doesn't even know where to begin. Humans are annoying, weak, clumsy, but most of all, stupid. They make decisions without thinking through the consequences. They prefer to spend their money on temporary pleasures and end up bankrupt by not prioritizing their survival. They worry about unimportant things such as social status, religion, and traditions. Sukuna hates humans, but boy, are they entertaining. 

Sukuna tends to study his servants very carefully. Even though they only clean, cook and obey his orders to a tee, it was fun to watch them interact with each other. He finds it fascinating how the servants gossip in whispers, how the gardeners concentrate to prune the bushes well despite their hands shaking, or how the cooks taste the food several times so that it’s up to their majesty's standards. It was like watching dozens of filthy lab rats in the middle of a social experiment. Although… There was someone special he loved to watch, no matter what they were doing. 

You had finished all the chores for the day and decided to help the cooks prepare dinner because you had nothing better to do. Your muscles were exhausted from having spent all morning cleaning the porcelain sculptures, the large frames of the paintings in the great hall, and the king's jewelry so they could sparkle in all their glory. You had been assigned the task of peeling potatoes, so there you were. Sitting at a table with a small knife, peeling potatoes while listening to the chaos going on in the kitchen. Uraume was busy preparing a special passion fruit tea for the king. The special coming from the water that was inked with human blood. Sometimes you wondered if Uraume had always agreed to cook with humans or was it something they got used to because of Sukuna's orders, but since they never talked about themselves, you never asked. 

“Fuck!” A cook yelled when the frying pan caught fire. 

Your eyes widened at the flashy flare. Uraume put the tea set aside to attend to the emergency. With some ice from their magic hands, they put out the fire in a jiffy, but left the kitchen a mess. They began to berate the cook with smacks in the head and curses for his ineptitude. The cook just apologized over and over again, but that wasn't enough for the head chef. 

“You!” Uraume called. You put your task aside to attend to their orders. “Take the tea to our king and tell him I will be with him when I settle this situation.” You nodded and took the tray carefully to go in search of him. 

After Sukuna gave you permission, you entered the library with the golden tray in your hands. The library was the coziest room in the entire castle. Its high walls were covered with huge bookcases filled with books, maps, and scrolls. There were long desks of works and hundreds of candleholders everywhere to enjoy reading during the evenings. He was sitting in one of the comfortable chairs in front of the game table, a small wooden table with a chessboard on top. The king was surprised to see you there despite having specified Uraume's presence. 

“I didn't ask you to come,” Sukuna said chidingly as you served him tea at a small table next to him. 

“Uraume had to attend to an emergency in the kitchen. They'll be here once everything is under control,” you replied as you set down the fragile cup of blood tea, adorned with small pieces of eyeball floating on the red surface to give it texture. 

Your gaze traveled to the chessboard, it had been a long time since you had seen the king playing. You knew from the other servants that he was a good player and only plays with Uraume or some brave guest. This was no ordinary board. You could see that each piece was handmade and had luxurious detail. The pieces were made of white quartz, the eyes of the horses were rubies and the crowns of the kings were made of jade. It was the most beautiful board game you ever saw. 

“Do you know how to play?” Sukuna asked out of curiosity. 

Being a servant, you surely had not received the same education as he did. Well, almost no one was on his level when it came to education. Sukuna was a master mathematician, a skilled debater and could threaten his enemies in 5 different languages. You hadn't been as lucky. You're good at cleaning, cooking and taking orders, but what else can you do? 

“Yes,” you answered with a smile. 

That answer surprised him quite a bit. Although chess was a game that was rapidly gaining popularity among the middle class, it was not a game for women. It was a game that required intellect, always thinking two moves ahead and knowing how to read your opponent. You didn't look like a girl who could do all that. 

“Sit down,” Sukuna ordered you. 

“I warn you that it may be a short game. It's been a long time since I've played,” you warned him as you sat down. 

Sukuna watched you with great attention. Your eyes scanned the board as if it was the first time you had ever seen one, your hands rested gently on your thighs and you smiled nervously. You may have known the rules of the game, but you didn't know how to play. The king took your word for it. 

“Ladies first,” he asked you to start.

“My pleasure,” you said as your dominant hand moved over the pieces to decide what your first move would be. 

Your father had taught you how to play. He always wanted a son to inherit the family business, but your mother only kept giving birth to women, so he had to resign himself to you. Your mother taught you how to be a lady so you could get married as soon as possible and your father taught you about the business so that your future husband wouldn’t take advantage of the family money. You used to sit in front of the wooden board and talk for hours after dinner. Your father may not have been the wisest or the most astute man, but he had left you a very important lesson: Always look people in the eye to know their true intentions. 

This was one of the few times you came face to face with Sukuna. Because of his title as king and the great difference in height, you were always beneath him, physically and psychologically speaking. You were a simple human, while he was a king with the power to get rid of whomever he wanted with a simple movement of his fingers. Although his presence made you feel vulnerable, you didn't resent him. You had a relatively comfortable life serving him, but sometimes there was a need for you to show him that you were more than a servant. This was a good opportunity to do so. 

Sukuna's eyes were not on you, they were on the board. His gaze denoted boredom. He was waiting patiently for you to make the first move. If you waited a little longer, maybe he would yawn. He overestimated you, you had to use that feeling against him. You moved a pawn to the C4 square, a common move among beginners.

“Finally…” He said in a monotone voice before quickly moving the knight to the F6 square. 

Each of you took turns to move the pieces quietly as time went by. You took your time with each move, while the king only needed to look at the board from time to time to know what to do next. You could take all the time in the world, but he would still eat all your pieces. Even though it didn't seem to be an interesting game, you could at least keep up with him. Sukuna's queen advanced towards yours, standing face to face. One false move and your king was in trouble. 

“Check,” you said as the queen retreated two squares diagonally, leaving her free to begin the attack on the king. 

At that announcement, Sukuna woke up from the trance he was in to concentrate on what he was doing. He smiled with satisfaction as he noticed the change in your body. Your hands had relaxed, your back was straight, and your eyes were glued to his. You knew exactly what you were doing. You didn't need to tell him verbally that you would destroy him at his own game, your eyes told him clearly. It was as if you were dissecting his soul bit by bit until you left him completely naked.

Your hands were interleaved with each turn. You moved quickly as you realized that Sukuna had already noticed your active presence on the board. Sukuna returned the queen to his side. An interesting move. It was wise to know when to back away, but you noticed one thing in his eyes. He had no plan, he just acted based on his understanding of the game. He moved like in real life, using only his killer instincts. 

“Check,” you announced again by moving a knight up. 

“Not so fast,” Sukuna told you before taking the horse that was threatening his king using a queen. You smiled as you saw that his majesty had fallen into the trap. By moving his pieces like that, Sukuna had fully exposed his king. 

“Checkmate,” you announced the end of the game as soon as you moved the white queen close to the black king. And only then, the poor maid defeated the almighty king. 

“Well, well...” Sukuna sighed in awe as he looked at the board with extreme curiosity. He couldn't be mad at you. He had let his guard down. You were playing even before the game started. 

There was someone special he loved to watch, no matter what you were doing. Sukuna would always hyper fixate on you whenever he noticed your presence around him. You could be cleaning, chatting with your companions or eating some dried fruit in the garden, and he would still only notice you as if nothing else in the world existed. You were the most interesting human he had ever seen. Sukuna tried to look for a logical reason for his obsession with you, but he couldn't do it. You looked like a simple being with clear goals, but he was sure you were hiding something behind your perfect facade. 

Someone knocked at the door. Sukuna sighed, he wanted to be alone with you longer, but now was not the time. Uraume entered the room and was surprised to see you sitting with his majesty. Something strange had been going on between the two of you for months. They had even debated the idea of asking the king directly about you, but hadn't worked up the courage to do so.  

“There was an inconvenience in the kitchen. Sorry to keep you waiting, your majesty,” Uraume bowed in apology. 

“Lucky for you, you sent a good replacement,” Sukuna said before smiling at you in satisfaction. 

Uraume instantly understood just by glancing at the board. You had beaten the king, something even they could not easily accomplish. They could tell that he was looking at you like no one else. It wasn't a look of disgust or boredom, it was a curious look. Like that of a child looking at a group of kids playing in the playground, wondering if he could come over to play with them. 

“If you'll excuse me, I have to go,” you said as you got up to give the seat to Uraume. “Good game. It was a pleasure to play against you, my king,” you bowed. 

“Good game,” Sukuna whispered so you could leave the room. 

Sukuna and Uraume started a new game as soon as you returned to the kitchen to peel potatoes. They quickly noticed that something was occupying her majesty's mind. Their white pieces were eating his black pieces easily and his moves were slow compared to previous games. Uraume could tell that the game against you had changed the way he played.

“What do you see in her?” Uraume asked him after a move. 

“Am I too obvious?” Sukuna asked them before getting up from his seat to start prowling around the library to clear his mind. “What do you think of her?” He asked her as he stopped in front of the window to admire the land. The large green lawn stretched all the way to the intimidating entrance of his wonderful castle. 

“She is a dedicated servant and a perfectionist. She does all the chores in a timely manner. She is as good a servant as any other. The real question is: What do you think of her?” Uraume asked as they watched him from their seat. 

“She has potential.” 

“Potential? Potential for what?” Uraume arched their eyebrow at the confusing statement. 

“She has the potential to become a queen,” Sukuna replied confidently. 

Sukuna Ryomen was known among the kingdoms for being an unorthodox king. Not only because he took kingdoms left and right as if it were nothing, but because he has a strange way of ruling his people. He did not care about social classes, behavioral labels or unwritten codes of human coexistence. Everyone was inferior to him regardless of gender, race, or religion. He was the god of this new world and everyone had to obey him, just like that. 

The fact that he wanted to have a queen went far beyond just following the established patterns of classical monarchy. Sukuna must have a reason why he wants to have a queen other than just because, but there was a more important question on the table. 

“Your majesty, you can get any woman you want. You can get a beautiful woman, with more training and presence, why would you settle for a servant?” Uraume asked in confusion. Sukuna smiled. It was a good question. 

“She has something much better than that,” he answered before continuing the game as if nothing happened. Uraume looked down to see that Sukuna had checkmated them.

Author's Note: I poured my poor knowledge on chess for this lol I hope it makes sense.

Order your own fanfic!

Masterlist.

#fanfic #fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen #sukuna ryomen #jjk imagine #ryomen sukuna #sukuna #fluff #jjk fluff #king x servant #sukuna x reader #ryoumen sukuna #jjk sukuna #jujutsu kaisen sukuna #sukuna ryomen x reader #sukuna ryomen smut #jjk ryomen #jujutsu kaisen ryomen #ryomen x reader

[littlexdeaths]

blondes do have more fun - e.m.

y2k eddie munson x girly reader

warnings: robin and reader get so drunk, reader is too clumsy for her own good

opposites attract masterlist

a/n: another edit and repost of this y2k series. this was the second blurb i ever wrote for them and it was heavily inspired by that one scene in 10 things i hate about you, iykyk. enjoy babes 💕

word count: 1.2k

It was an impulse decision.

So of course he would be surprised.

If you were being honest, you were a little scared to see Eddie’s reaction. Which was why you asked Nancy to tag along with you to the hair salon. Knowing she would give you her honest opinion either way.

It took over two hours to get your locks to the bleach blonde perfection you desired. Keeping your eyes off of the mirror during the entire process due to your nerves. So when the stylist finally spun your chair around, you were genuinely shocked as you fell in love upon meeting your reflection.

You had never done much with your hair over the years, besides the occasional haircut. But you were itching to try out something new. Finding yourself inspired by your latest obsession, Legally Blonde.

You had dragged Eddie to see it with you in theaters more times than you cared to admit— but he never once complained.

He had actually enjoyed it, even making a comment or two about how he thought Reese Witherspoon was pretty. Which got the wheels in your head turning, leading you into a salon chair with bleach covering your head.

“It looks amazing, hun,” Nancy gushed as you left the salon, arms linked together as you ventured deeper into the Starcourt Mall.

There was a new air of confidence about you as you walked, sipping on Orange Julius’ smoothies. You all but dragged her into Wet Seal to help you find the perfect outfit for later. Steve was hosting yet another rager, which had become a recurring weekend event amongst your friend group.

After many trips to the fitting room (and an impromptu fashion show), you eventually walked out of the mall with a mini black dress and matching pair of platform sandals.

You decided to keep this new look under wraps for the rest of the day, waiting until Steve’s party to reveal it to everyone.

As you walked into the male’s home you kept your head high, pushing through the crowd of tipsy college kids to find your friends. Eddie was going to meet you here after band practice had wrapped up. But you couldn’t help but feel your nerves stirring in your stomach.

What if he hated it?

Logically you knew it didn’t matter, it was your hair after all. But you still wanted him to like it nonetheless.

You spotted Robin and Steve in the living room, bounding over to them with a smile. They were clearly in the middle of a squabble of some sort, but Robin’s face lights up once she sees you.

It was quite obvious she was already wasted, her cheeks thoroughly flushed as she stumbled towards you. Steve’s eyes widen in surprise, attempting to reign her back in but she easily shrugs him off.

“Oh my god, Nance told me it looked good. But it’s way better than I could’ve imagined!” She squealed, pulling you into a hug as you just laughed.

She leans closer to your ear, hanging onto your arm for support, “Dude… Eddie is gonna lose it. It’s giving Pam Anderson and Elle Woods— you look hot.”

You felt your cheeks warm from her words, as Steve is finally able to tug her off of you with an annoyed expression. You hadn’t even thought about that, taking a glance down at your attire. It was very reminiscent of an outfit you’d seen Ms. Anderson sporting on the cover of one of those trashy tabloid magazines recently.

Robin was right, per usual but it only makes you more anxious for your boyfriend to arrive.

You make your way over to the kitchen to pour yourself a drink, nearly chugging it in an attempt to make your nerves disappear. But one drink quickly turns into four and having not eaten much before you arrived— you became very drunk, very fast.

So drunk that you didn’t even notice when Eddie finally did arrive, after a very concerned phone call from Steve.

The brunette was already having to babysit Robin, but now he was struggling to keep you both in check. Chasing the two of you around his house, your chorus of giggles barely being heard above the bubbly pop music. Eddie arrives soon after that phone call, searching frantically through the crowd of people to find you.

However it didn’t take him very long to do so.

A crowd had begun to form in Steve’s dining room, as you pulled Robin up onto his table with you. Both of you dancing drunkenly on the top of it, letting the heavy bass pump through you. The both of you ignore the whistles and shouts from the crowd, raising your hands above your head.

Eddie had finally pushed his way to the front of the crowd, watching in amusement as you got a little too into the gyration of your hips. Not a care in the world as you tossed your head back. Seemingly forgetting about the large chandelier that hung behind you. That amusement turns to slight horror as the back of your head smacks right against the light fixture.

A combination of the impact and the alcohol has you feeling lightheaded, your knees start to wobble. Robin gasps in shock, attempting to grab on to your wrist but fails miserably as you lose your balance. Letting you fall back into the crowd and right into a pair of strong arms.

Your vision is blurred and your head starts to spin as the person quickly carries you out of the room, cradling you against their chest. In your inebriated and dizzy state you don’t realize it’s the metalhead you’ve been waiting to see all night.

You squirm in his arms, attempting to get him to put you down, “Excuse me— I have a boyfriend.” You huff, pushing against their denim clad shoulder, “Put me down!”

The pout adorning your lips causes him to chuckle, immediately recognizing the sound. You blink your lashes rapidly as your boyfriend’s face finally comes into focus. That pout is quickly replaced with a toothy grin, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning up to kiss him.

Eddie kisses you back gently, kicking the door shut behind him. He sits you both down on the bed, now in the comfort of Steve’s guest room. You snuggle up into his chest immediately, playing with his dark curls.

“Glad you’ve finally come back down to earth, love,” he hums, "Is your head feeling okay?”

You sigh happily, nodding as Eddie begins to feel the back of your head. Carefully inspecting it to make sure you haven’t done any significant damage. You wince as he finds a tender spot, the male pressing a light kiss to it.

“So you dye your hair and go completely off the rails,” he sighs, shaking his head. “I’m just glad I got here when I did.”

His concerned tone makes you giggle nonetheless, leaning up to press a sloppy kiss against his jaw. The room had finally stopped spinning, and you felt ready to get back to the party.

“You know what they say, Eds, blondes have more fun.”

Eddie just rolls his eyes at you fondly, ruffling your freshly dyed locks.

“Uh huh, sure they do, sweetheart.”

#the freak writes 🫧 #my series: opposites attract 🫧 #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson one shot #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #y2k!eddie munson x girly reader #y2k!eddie munson #early 2000s!eddie munson

[grumpysunfish]

Can we like. Stop projecting modern day western class discussions into mdzs. Or better yet stop talking about class altogether since so many of you are clearly ill prepared for it.

I love mdzs for how complicated and different it is from what I'm used to and seeing all of that get whittled down into the same old tired money/power = bad when it is so much more than that. It's a completely different system and culture. Western capitalist critiques isn't going to cut it people.

#jiang cheng #mdzs #This applies to many more character but I am the most familiar with his brand of discourse #I am completely in wei wuxian's side regarding saving the wens #Although I think he could have handled that way better #But if jiang cheng chose to save the wens at the risk of yunmeng jiang. I would not have been at his side #Jiang cheng's decision doesn't just affect him #it affects a whole sect #People depending on him #Why is this so hard to understand? Why is jiang cheng selfish for choosing to protect the people under him? #Shockers. Being responsible for a large group of people means there are thing you just can't do even if it is the right thing #Reputation is in fact important. Isn't mdzs partly about that? Isn't that one of the things that killed wei wuxian? #Anyways I love you characters straining under the weight of their duties and responsibilities #They can never make me hate you #meta analysis

[chaskaknits]

This event has always been so good to me T_T!!! To get SSR Deuce on both JP and Eng servers is amazing with my bad luck! I started working on this when the event dropped on the Eng server. I adore the White Rabbit Festival Event for its wholesomeness and pretty pastels. This is my favorite event so far.

Meet Yukina and Fubuki, who both act as Yuu. They’re twins, with Fubuki being the older twin and Yukina being the younger one.

When summoned : “Rabbits and clocks galore, how can I not enjoy this festival to the fullest!” - Yukina

“Not my usual thing, but I’m pretty sure I’m the coolest rabbit here!” -Fubuki

The rabbit costumes for the twins use similar color palette, but Yukina’s leans toward yellow and blue, while Fubuki’s is red and yellow. They typically don’t enjoy looking like a matched set, but they didn’t mind since Deuce’s mom chose the costumes.

Yukina who’s is usually more reserved , but she was unusually enthusiastic for the White Rabbit Festival. This is because when she was younger, she loved reading “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”, she especially adored the White Rabbit. She would fumble on her words to avoid talking about the book and movie. Fubuki was a little embarrassed to being wearing costumed, but quickly got more into the festival in response to Grim and Yukina’s excitement.

During the bugle contest, the best ones was Yukina and Fubuki, being pretty good at music. However, Yukina beat Fubuki due to being more experienced with wind instruments, opposed to his experience with string instruments.

They act as the twin prefects of Ramshackle, often switching duties when the situation called for it. Sharing the responsibility of looking after Grim, Yukina typically handles studies, While Fubuki is on Grim wrangling duty.

Yukina is typically a polite and studious person, getting teased for being a “Teacher’s Pet”, but since coming to Twisted Wonderland, her hidden side that is blunt and hates to lose comes out more often now.

On the other side, Fubuki has an immature and carefree attitude, often getting mistaken as the younger twin. He is impulsive and use to be sort of delinquent for getting into fights against bullies (Yukina believes NRC, is not the best place for him for this reason, not that she thinks she belongs there either.)

The twins do their best to survive NRC together, working together to cover each other weaknesses. They’re generally often get mixed up with something or another in NRC due to unable to leave others alone. Knowing how things work in Twisted Wonderland, they try to talk things over before making a decision.

#twisted wonderland #twst oc #white rabbit festival #twst yuu #twst white rabbit fest #twisted wonderland yuu #twst fanart #my first post in years adrasrad #but this event brought me back ajsfhgashsdbjhwd

[wosoluver]

Cruel Summer

tw: suggestive content

Andrea x Real madrid player!reader

You and Andrea weren't foreign to each other.

You were a striker for Real Madrid, she was an Atletico de Madrid's defender.

So not foreign at all.

And every time you were around each other it was dangerous territory.

Very harsh attitude inside the pitch.

Never worried about meeting else where anyways.

But it was summer. And you and a group of other players settled on going to Mykonos. Hot weather, cold drinks, great parties. What could go wrong?

Everything.

You only realized Andrea was part of the group along with Lola and Cris, when you arrived at the airport.

You trusted Cardona and Misa to make good decisions, about where you were going and with whom.

You tried to keep calm. What's the worst that could happen? Well...

The first day was fine. Drinks by the pool, some catching up with tanning, and you, torturing yourself by staring down the girl you were sure hated your guts. But you couldn't help it. She was definitely your type. Taller than you, blonde, blue eyes. And an attitude.

At first you tried to be subtle, but soon realized two things.

One, everyone was too busy doing their own thing to even notice.

Two, it seemed you weren't the only one who was liking what they were seeing.

You were bathing in the sun by the pool, when you noticed her swim your way. She rested herself next to you, arms over the edge of the pool.

"Aren't you already hot enough?" - she questioned rhetorically in a low tone. But you had no reaction other than to stare at her handsome pair of blue eyes.

She slowly dropped some of the pool water over your back. And spread it out.

"Better?" - she asked with a smirk.

"Yeah." - what had got into you? Why did become so shy all of the sudden?

She was kissing your neck wildly. And you begged her for more. As she trailed down, passing in between your breasts, but stoping just below your belly button, teasing you.

Her kisses were delicious. And you were reveling in those hot breaths she would leave in between them.

"Andrea... pleas-"

And that's all it took for her to give you what you wanted most. You wished this night never ended.

But it did, as you woke up. Sweaty and warm, as you realized that was nothing more, than a dream over your desires.

'Fever dream high in the quiet of the night'

"Good morning sleeping beauty. Thought you weren't going to wake up." - Said Marta as she poured you a cup of coffee.

"You look like you slept well." - said Medina with a devilish smile on her face.

"I did actually. I slept very well." - there was the confidence you thought you had lost the day before.

"I can tell." - she replied like she knew.

But that was only a wet dream, right?

"Didn't know you needed a vacation that bad." - said Misa, chiming in innocently.

In truth, you were the only ones who were taking this down a different road.

"Lola and Cris are waiting for us at the beach. Get some breakfast and get ready, we leave soon."

"Yes, mom." - you said at the older woman.

As both Marta and Misa left the room, Andrea jumped at the opportunity of messing with you.

"Do you have a mommy kink?"

And you chocked on the bite you had taken from your toast.

"Andrea!"

"You didn't deny, so that's an yes." - she said walking out and leaving you with your thoughts.

And you thought you were managing your feelings well. Until you made your way back from a day at the beach, so you could get ready to go out at night.

You had failed to notice the bathroom's private balcony was connected to Andrea's. It was only while you were showering, you noticed her sitting down on a chair outside. She wasn't looking at you, she didn't want to be disrespectful. But she did steal a few glances.

"You don't need to pretend you're not looking, you know."

And this time it was you who caught her by surprise.

"Noted for next time." - she tried playing cool. Although it wasn't really working, as you left her there, mouth watering as you walked away to get ready.

'Killing me slow, out the window'

Arriving at the club you tried your best not to lose each other, the place was packed. But you failed, you were all basically divided into duos.

You weren't complaining about being stuck with Andrea either.

Unknown to you this had been planned by the other girls.

They had taken notice, it's not like you were being secretive about it, anyways.

They made sure you had plenty time together that night.

"Hey where did they go?" she asked through the loud noise.

"I don't know, they were right behind us, but I lost them."

"It's fine, let's just stick together. We'll probably come across them later."

"Drinks?"

"Drinks!"

You had both lost count over the many drinks you shared. By now you two were pretty handsy on the dance floor. As you danced against her and she held your body as close as she could. If questioned she would probably blame on not wanting to lose you in the crowd. Which would be such a good excuse to hide her feelings behind.

'And it's new, the shape of your body'

Just thinking about the fact that, after getting back to work, she would have to put that rivalry back up, it made her stress.

She tried her best to convince herself, this was only fun and she had the right to get loose and enjoy herself.

She was aways good at keeping business and pleasure separated. Little did she know that these lines would only blur more, as the days went on.

'It's a cruel summer

with you.'

And you, you didn't want to worry about the consequences right now.

As the two of you headed back to the place you were staying, after giving up on finding the girls, and decided to just text them you were heading back.

She took no time undressing you by her bed, as she whispered sweet nothings into your ears. You had never enjoyed this kind of sex before. It was raw but at the same time passionate. It felt like your souls had looked for each other, all eternity, to finally be together.

You walked into the bathroom to get a hand towel damp under warm water.

You only hoped, to wake up next to her in the morning.

But you knew what it would cost to have your hopes up, as you made your way back to get her cleaned up.

'So cut the headlights, summer's a knife

I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone'

You weren't surprised to wake up to an empty bed. But it still hurt.

"Where is everyone?" you asked walking into the kitchen.

"Good morning to you too. They are outside by the pool." Answered Misa.

"Sorry, good morning."

"I thought you had fun last night, why are you pouting like that?"

"What?"

"Does it have anything to do with you and Medina?"

"No, no, I just have a hangover."

"So your gonna pretend nothing happened?"

"I'm not. Just didn't think you were so interested in my love, well sex life."

"Why not love life?"

"Really? This is just for fun. Once we're back in Madrid, work comes first."

"And your fine with that?"

"Yeah."

You said trying to convince yourself more than her.

'It's cool, that's what I tell 'em

No rules in breakable heaven'

Last day rolled around. You made your way to the airport. You naturally decided to seat together on the way back. You had gotten comfortable in your seat. But your mind was racing. Trying to wrap around this summer coming to an end. And along with it, your relationship.

If it could even be called that.

She laid her head on your shoulder. Cuddling up to you, to take a nap until you got home.

"Ready to go back?"

"Uhum, are you?"

"Yeah."

You thought she had fallen asleep after spending so long quiet, just breathing peacefully.

"I don't believe you."

"What do you want from me Medina?"

"Just be honest."

"Are you going to do the same? To me? To yourself?"

You waited for an answer but it never came. But you were already so out of the reach of better judgment, that you just broke down.

"I like you. More than just this. Is that what you want me to say?"

'I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I scream for whatever it's worth

I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?'

It's a cruel summer.

Special thanks to @pinkyqil for the help 🩷

There's just something about wlw + TS and I can't explain it.

#woso x reader #futfem #andrea medina #andrea medina x reader #atletico madrid femenino

[fanficshiddles]

The Redbridge Hunts, Chapter 51

‘I did it because having you alive and hating me, is better than not having you alive at all.’

Claire’s heart broke at hearing Chris’ words. Judging by the look on Loki’s face, she had a feeling that his heart did too…

Loki said nothing at first, his mouth was open in shock at Chris’ admission.

‘You… you knew I didn’t want to be turned.’ Loki said gruffly.

‘You were dying in my arms, Loki. I loved you, so much. More than anyone else. When I first held you as a baby, I knew I’d do anything for my little brother. I was not about to just let you die.’ Chris yelled at Loki and turned away, his back to them.

Loki looked down, Claire saw the pained expression on his face.

‘If you just stopped killing innocent people, like dad did. You terrified me that day.’ Loki said quietly.

Chris turned around. ‘It’s not that easy. I’m addicted to the feeling I get when my victims are scared, the rush of power and the taste of their blood, it’s fresher and rich, I can’t help it. You’ve never been able to accept it, but I don’t care.’ Chris growled low.

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. ‘I get it, Claire’s blood is the most delicious thing in the world, but I can control myself. I can stop without killing her. You could too, you don’t need to kill them after!’

‘I don’t care about them. Their lives are just fleeting in comparison to us, it will happen sooner or later. Whether I’m here or not. Vampires will overtake.’

‘Would you say that if your soulmate turns out to be human?’ Claire asked.

Chris glared at her. ‘I don’t have a soulmate.’

‘You do, somewhere.’ Loki said. 'Every vampire has a soulmate.'

‘I’ve been to every single town and city in the world, spent weeks at each place, searched in clubs, bars, restaurants, everywhere. A soulmate for me doesn’t exist.’ Chris snarled, though his voice broke a little near the end.

‘Tell Loki what you told me about your job.’ Claire said softly.

Chris clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes at Claire, then he looked at Loki with a sigh. He put his hands on his hips.

‘Fine. You want the truth? Look, I’m sorry for kidnapping Claire. For trying to hurt you. I was jealous when Claire first came along, that your soulmate literally just walked right into your life when I’ve spent centuries searching for mine. Then when dad told us about the school board wanting you to have my job, I snapped. I love that job, I love my students, vampires and humans. Seeing them thrive and grow, getting excited for being accepted into Universities or Colleges that they applied for, getting jobs that they’ve dreamed of. Helping the young vampires work their way through their first few years where their instincts are at their strongest. The thought of it all being taken away… especially by you, just made me see red. You’ve got everything I want, but you wouldn’t have if I didn’t turn you. Being a vampire isn’t so bad, is it? Better than being dead, surely? Yet you’ve never forgiven me for making that decision, to save my little brother in the only way possible.’

It was then Loki’s turn to get emotional. Claire saw the realisation wash over Loki’s face, his eyes began to water as he stepped backwards until he was leant against the table for support.

‘I… I didn’t realise you’d been searching for your soulmate. I also didn’t realise how much it affected you when I was hit by the car… I’ve been a fool… You’re not wrong, being a vampire is better than death. I just… I just didn’t see it at the time and was so angry and scared at the same time, it clouded my judgement. I’m… sorry, for not being thankful that you saved me. For not ever listening or giving you a chance.

I looked up to you so much, Chris. As my big brother. You were always there for me, looking out for me. When I was told about you and dad being vampires, I was crushed. Though I did come round to the idea, when dad explained about the blood bank… but then I learned that you didn’t agree with it. I was scared of you, the way you just drank from humans and killed them without care. That was a side to you I had never seen, didn’t want to see. I didn’t want to become like that, so when you turned me, I was terrified about doing the same. I've got your blood literally running through my veins, not just as brothers.'

Chris eyes widened a little at Loki’s words, his stance softened and he wasn’t quite as guarded anymore. ‘Scaring you was the last thing I wanted to do, I never wanted you to see me like that… I didn’t even want to tell you about us being vampires but dad was insistent about telling you the truth. That’s why my relationship with him dwindled even more, he just went ahead and told you anyway. I was scared of it causing a rift between us, and rightfully so. That’s exactly what happened.’

‘I would have found out sooner or later. I was beginning to wonder why you and dad never aged.’ Loki sighed and paused for a second. ‘I don’t want to take your job. You didn’t listen to me when dad told us. You are good at it, I know that. I was all for telling the board I didn’t want it and that you should remain the head teacher, until you went nuts and tried to kill me. That’s the first time I’ve genuinely thought you were actually attempting to murder me.’

Chris looked down. ‘I know. I’m ashamed to admit that I think I was, I just saw blind rage. I can’t excuse it.’ He shrugged and looked back up at Loki. ‘I can’t change who or what I am. But part of who I am, still cares and loves his little brother. Always has done. Always will. Even it that means being hated, at least you’re alive.’

Loki and Chris stared at one another for what felt like the longest time. Then, eventually, Loki stood up straight and walked towards him, Chris wasn’t sure what he was about to do at first. Though Loki opened his arms and hugged him tightly. Chris was frozen on the spot for a minute, his brain took some time to process what was going on.

Though the moment Chris put his arms around Loki in return, both of them instantly felt a relief of sorts, the love and bond they once had when Loki was younger came flooding back. All the good times and memories.

When they let go from the longest hug, they both had watery eyes. Though as they both took a step backwards, Claire was sat on the chair at the side, in floods of tears at the scene. They both turned their heads to look at her and chuckled.

‘You guys… That was… so beautiful.’ She sobbed and pulled her cloak round to wipe her eyes.

Chris rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. ‘Well… I’m away to go back to the hunt before it’s all over. I’m sorry, Claire. For kidnapping you and scaring you.’

Claire stood and walked over to Loki, still wiping her eyes. ‘I… I understand why you did. Though not to say it wasn’t scary at the start, but I’m glad that something good has come out of it in the end.’

Loki nodded in agreement, he put his arm around Claire tightly and kissed the top of her head.

‘Though if you ever hurt or kidnap her again, brother or not, I’ll beat the shit out of you.’ Loki growled at Chris.

Chris smirked and as he walked by, he patted Loki on the shoulder. ‘Sure you will, lil bro.’

Loki felt a strange sensation in his heart. It had been a long time since Chris called him that, he used to always use that nickname for him. It made him smile a little as Chris headed out the door and took off.

Claire wrapped her arms around Loki’s waist and hugged him tightly. Loki pressed his face into her hair and he breathed in deeply.

‘Let’s get you home.’ He hummed and squeezed her tightly.

#tom hiddleston #loki #loki x ofc #loki fic #the redbridge hunts #chris motionless #vampire loki

[licorice-lips]

Hi, everyone! So, I know there's a lot of controversy about Rhys's behavior Under the Mountain (at least in Brazil fandom it's a hot topic), a discussion that is valid and definitely needs to be had, so I did a lot of research on the subject and compiled the three texts that influenced me the most into a compilation that I'll share here — along with my thoughts and additions.

These texts that serve as my supports were made here on Tumblr and can be found under the following titles, although the third one is the most comprehensive of them all:

*Rhysand's Defense Post (The author had only read A Court of Thorns and Roses when she wrote this).

*The Difference Between Tamlin and Rhysand: The Man on the Throne and the Man in the Arena — Acotar and Acomaf's Excerpt Analysis (The author was following the small teaser quotes for A Court of Mist and Fury and analyzed them).

*Understanding Tamlin and Rhysand — A Post-Acomaf Reconciliation of Rhys's Actions Under The Mountain in a Culture of Defeat.

In addition to discussing Rhys's behavior, however, I'm also going to discuss Tamlin's behavior and compare the two. It's going to be quite fun… Just a heads up that I don't want any hate messages. Do you want to share your thoughts agreeing or disagreeing? That's fine, but with respect. Any offensive comments will be deleted.

Now here's my defense post for Rhys:

Leadership is a heavy burden. When you're a leader, especially when it's not your choice but comes to you because of the family you were born into, for example, responsibility can be a burden. But when you're a leader, there's something very important to consider when making a decision: those who follow you.

All of Rhys's actions as High Lord of the Night Court must be thought of to put the well-being of those he is responsible for first. And when he, Tamlin, and the other High Lords are Under the Mountain, he decides that he will be Amarantha's whore to ensure that his Court is in the best possible condition within the situation — he lets himself be raped to ensure that his people and his family remain safe when he could have done nothing.

But from the moment Feyre strikes the deal with Amarantha, he is the only one who is truly in a position to make a difference: the other High Lords do not have enough of Amarantha's trust for her not to suspect anything if one of them tried to bargain with Feyre as Rhys did, for example. If any other High Lord — Kallias, Thesan, Helion, etc. — tried the same thing as Rhys, Amarantha would have been suspicious.

So in this case, he is the only one who can truly act.

But he doesn't have to. The point is that his Court is reasonably safe because of his role in the court Amarantha built, so Rhys doesn't really need to help Feyre win. But he does it, not because he wants his power back, but because he's the kind of leader who will do everything achievable to change — for what he believes is the best — the lives of his people.

And I'll talk about how admirable that is later on when we're talking about the culture of war and defeat, and about Tamlin's behavior. So, he decides to act, and he tells Feyre in A Court of Mist and Fury:

"I decided at that moment that I would fight. And fight dirty, and kill and torture and manipulate, but fight. If there was any chance of freeing us from Amarantha, it was you." (A Court of Mist and Fury, page 550, Brazilian edition)

He knows, then, that the fight he would have to wage was not the beautiful, heroic, noble thing we're so used to seeing: Rhys knew that his actions to ensure victory — for Feyre and Prythian as a whole — would be horrible and would probably haunt him for the rest of his life. He knows that. And he doesn't excuse himself for a moment. He doesn't invent, he doesn't embellish, he doesn't paint himself as a hero. He knows he's not and he really isn't a hero.

A hero is someone who sacrifices themselves in a grand gesture to save the entire population, a true hero doesn't really sacrifice one person to save others. And while Rhys does have his own share of sacrifices, that doesn't excuse him from the horrible actions he took Under the Mountain:

So, the first part of his questionable behavior in Under the Mountain comes to light: the moment he twists Feyre's injured arm to convince her, to scare her enough to accept his bargain. This is a minor moment and my description alone makes it understandable: he does what he does to keep her alive and charges an insignificant price (which he planned to release her from later, as he himself says) to keep up appearances.

And Rhys needs to keep up appearances because his whole game to defeat Amarantha depends on how he appears to her and to other people: no one can notice while he moves the pieces on the board to bring the advantage to them. No one, not even Feyre, who is the "lamb to the slaughter," so to speak. And she can't know for several reasons:

Feyre is not in a mental condition to act and pretend to hate him as much as he needs her to pretend. So if she knew what he was doing, she would probably let something slip, or wouldn't be convincing enough, because honestly? Who could?

Rhys spent the last 50 years fighting alone and being surrounded by people who constantly despised him for being Amarantha's whore or for those who tried to ingratiate themselves with her through him, so he doesn't trust others easily, even though he was falling in love with Feyre, as he says in ACOMAF.

He couldn't trust that Feyre wouldn't trust others — Lucien and, therefore, Tamlin — with this knowledge. With their mutual hatred, they would surely end up messing things up.

Feyre was there to protect the High Lord who killed his mother and sister — and Rhys didn't know that Feyre didn't know the history behind his and Tamlin's relationship — so, in theory, it made sense that he wouldn't want to show his "true face" to her.

That's exactly what the book is about: like a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, the book is about how appearances deceive. If Feyre found out that Rhys is a decent person right away, it would be the same as throwing the whole intention of the story out the window.

So we have the second — and most controversial of all — point: the dance and the wine. I'm not going to mince words about this: It was sexual harassment. Period. But with this, Rhys manages to:

Get Feyre out of her cell, which is driving her crazy, as she says in this part: "I was alone, locked in silence — although the screams in the dungeon continued day and night. When they became unbearable and I couldn't ignore them, I looked at the eye in my palm." (A Court of Thorns and Roses, page 356, Brazilian Edition). And let's face it, anyone would go crazy in an environment like that.

Keep an eye on Feyre so that no one else could harm her — something he disguises with a comment about not liking others to touch what's his — and that's a curious thing because Feyre never expresses concerns about being abused by others after Rhys starts taking her to these parties (it's also interesting to note that despite the various traumas of what happened Under the Mountain, Feyre never showed any signs of trauma from sexual abuse, as far as I know — and again, not that this excuses Rhys, it's just a factor to point out that maybe she understood his game better than we did).

To leave Tamlin full of anger — which he claims is the main reason for all that theater during A Court of Thorns and Roses — so that he wouldn't hesitate if he had the slightest chance to kill Amarantha in the end or between challenges, no matter as long as he didn't hesitate. Because from Rhys's perspective, Tamlin is the noble golden prince who might spare Amarantha's life to demand some kind of trial or something. Which I consider he might have been dumb enough to do too.

Divert Amarantha's attention, as, thinking that Feyre was already humiliated and abused enough during those nights, she wouldn't give Feyre those ridiculous tasks anymore (like cleaning that filthy hall or collecting lentils from Rhys's fireplace). And if you reread ACOTAR, she really never gives those small tasks to Feyre again after that.

Send a message to those who could read, as Rhys himself says: he crowns Feyre every night, and for the cruel ones, this would be a subtle kind of mockery, but for those who could see beyond the evil, Rhys was declaring Feyre the champion of them all. He declared that he believed in her and in her potential to free them all.

Convince Amarantha that he's still playing on her side — a belief that was shaken by Rhys betting on Feyre in the first task and closing that bargain to heal her arm. This might be the most fundamental of all points: the one that allows the game to continue toward victory. He needs to prove to Amarantha that he's doing it for fun, out of cruelty, considering Feyre as the whore of the whore, someone lower than the lowest of courtesans. Thus, Rhys clears the way to act when the time is right.

By taking Feyre with him to those parties, he moved not one, but six pieces of the game to be in his favor. He killed six birds with one stone. Strategically, it's an incredible tactic, by the way. But morally, this act leaves something to be desired.

So why the wine and the dance? Because Rhysand plays with appearances. Everything in his game depends on it.

Feyre wouldn't play the whore of the whore while conscious, no one with a shred of self-respect would accept that without knowing the reason behind it, and Rhysand, for the reasons I mentioned, wouldn't tell her anything. So he makes her drink the wine to keep the whole purpose of that show and keeps her close to prevent her from being touched by anyone other than him.

But besides that, the wine is a form of escape, a way to forget about the horrors, as Feyre herself says at the end of the chapter where all this happens:

"[…] and I began to long for the moment when Rhysand would hand me the goblet of faerie wine and I could let loose for a few hours." (A Court of Thorns and Roses, page 381).

In fact, Rhys sees it this way: when he is forced to kill the High Lord of the Summer Court (not Tarquin, but his cousin from whom he "inherited" the title, Nostrus), he himself drinks the wine with Feyre — it's an escape from the character he so carefully plays because not even Rhys can bear everything without letting the facade fall, even if only a little.

Note: not that I'm saying this would be a healthy way to deal with all that trauma and accumulated stress, but considering the place they were in and the situation, perhaps it was the most… effective way.

I have to say, however, that all of this doesn't justify what he did: it was still sexual abuse and it's still very bad and very serious. However, I need to point out to you: what we do to survive often does not reflect what we would be in a normal situation (normal being their everyday life without Amarantha, in this case).

When we are confronted with a situation like this, where to survive we end up needing to do something horrible, many say they would never do and would take the noble path of dying before giving up their values and principles, which is great, it proves that you have a very good character. The problem is that Rhys doesn't have the choice to think only of himself and how much this abuse will cost his dignity and principles because every decision he makes affects his people.

So here's my question for you: could you love someone who chose to preserve you instead of saving thousands of innocent — children, women, and men — who are under their responsibility?

Because I couldn't love someone who did that. And that's how I make peace with what Rhys did to Feyre Under the Mountain: I couldn't love someone who condemned the world to save me from abuse that I know I can endure — even if it causes me terrible harm.

Of course, it's entirely valid if you decide not to forgive him for what he did, because, after all, it's a morally gray action when you consider the whole situation they were in and what Rhys did. So, no one is really wrong for not forgiving Rhys for what he did, but those who forgive him aren't wrong either. It's very important that we understand that.

Now, an argument that is often used and that annoys me every time I hear it is that Sarah "changed Rhys and Tamlin's personalities because of shipping", so she ignored everything Rhys did Under the Mountain to make him the hero just because fans liked him. There are so many things wrong with that that I don't even know where to begin, but let's analyze all of Tamlin's, Feyre's, and Rhys's behavior throughout the ACOTAR and ACOMAF stories and show why I know Sarah did absolutely everything with careful consideration:

There is a trait that is very striking in Tamlin from the beginning of the ACOMAF story and is especially explicit when Alis tells the whole story about Amarantha, Tamlin, and the curse, which is the fact that Tamlin can't deal with the consequences of his actions:

The first time he does this is at the beginning of the curse when he gives up sending his soldiers to die for him, thus Tamlin simply gives up not only freeing himself but all of Prythian, all the people who live there, and still condemns the human lands in the process. He only started sending the soldiers out of desperation after 46 years, look at Alis's speech:

"For two years, he sent them, day after day, needing to choose who crossed the wall. When there were only a dozen left, Tamlin was so devastated that he stopped. He canceled everything." (A Court of Thorns and Roses, page 294, Brazilian Edition).

The second time I can point out is Feyre herself (this because I'm ignoring the events during her stay in the Spring Court, as I don't remember what happened): he takes Feyre to Prythian with the intention of making her fall in love with him, but at the first glimpse of direct danger from Amarantha — in this case, the scene where Rhys makes him kneel — he sends her away.

He gives up saving Prythian because he can't stick to the decision to put Feyre in danger so that she could break the curse, so much so that he condemns himself for it, because Feyre only doesn't say that she loves him — and breaks the curse — precisely because she's leaving:

"— I love you. — He said, and stepped back. I should say — should say those words, but they got stuck in my throat because… Because of what he needed to face, because maybe he wouldn't find me again, despite the promise…" (A Court of Thorns and Roses, page 261, Brazilian Edition)

These are the main events, and perhaps I could list more for you if I reread A Court of Thorns and Roses. But what does this show us? That every time Tamlin makes a decision, he freezes and backs down at the first sign of an obstacle. He retreats and avoids anything that shakes him.

So it makes sense that Tamlin's reaction Under the Mountain is paralysis — a common behavior among leaders in times of war and defeat, by the way, which aligns not only with Tamlin's personality but also with the reaction of a true leader in such a situation.

Alright, let's stop there and go back in time to analyze Feyre's behavior:

Right from the start, we learn that, even being the youngest of three sisters, Feyre was the one who, when they were starving, took action and sought a solution, which shows us right away the kind of person Feyre is: she's the kind of person who acts when forced to face danger, whether it's something intangible, like death by starvation, or tangible, like Amarantha.

This is proven repeatedly throughout the books: when she seeks answers with the Suriel, when she tries to fight off the bastards who tried to rape her at Calanmai (because paralysis can also be a reaction to abuse of that kind), when she goes to Under the Mountain to fight for Tamlin without even hesitating, when she heals from the traumas of Under the Mountain as soon as she has something to focus on, something to dedicate herself to.

And this is one of the fundamental differences between Tamlin and Feyre: while he paralyzes, she acts, and whether we like it or not, differences create friction. Especially with what happened Under the Mountain because she and Tamlin were separated, and neither of them experienced trauma together. Paralysis generates a different trauma from the trauma of someone who is acting, so the end of their relationship begins when she goes to save him Under the Mountain — and Tamlin freezes.

Then we have Rhysand, who is exactly like Feyre: he acts when confronted with danger or defeat and has thousands of actions of his that exemplify this:

As soon as he becomes High Lord, he bans the wing clipping of Illyrian females regardless of the reaction of the Illyrian lords or what they thought about it. It's not that he doesn't care: Rhys, unlike Tamlin, is willing to pay the price that comes when a decision is made.

He becomes Amarantha's whore to protect his people from her getting too close to them. He doesn't care about the cost to himself simply because Rhys knows he's doing some good for his own people by letting himself be raped.

When he sees in Feyre the chance to do something to free all of Prythian, he goes all in knowing that that game would be total defeat or victory. He acts.

When Hybern starts threatening Prythian, he is willing to do whatever it takes — lose a potential friend, hand over the city he loved with all his heart to horrible women, give up his own life — so that they wouldn't fall into slavery again.

When the war comes anyway, he faces it head-on and uses every card he has to stop the King of Hybern: monsters of all kinds, all his power, his own life, and the truth about himself, about who he is.

And these are just a few examples. The fundamental difference between Tamlin and Rhys, just like between Tamlin and Feyre, is how they respond to situations and traumas.

Quoting Teddy Roosevelt (btw, this is a direct translation of the Portuguese version of the quote, so it can be different from the original):

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

Feyre and Rhysand are the ones in the arena, they are the ones who fight to be able to act in the face of evil — Amarantha. And it's interesting to note that those who condemn Rhys for the dubious actions he took Under the Mountain never say anything about Feyre committing murder there as well, which is a crime as heinous (or at least should be when it comes to innocent people) as Rhys's.

I'll tell you why: when we're faced with a gray and complex character like Rhys — and we don't know his heart, instead we're "infected" with the main character's partial view — we tend to connect him directly with evil, instead of understanding that this character is neither wholly good nor bad. We forgive soldiers for killing people in a war — that's also a combat in Under the Mountain, so why can't we forgive both Rhys and Feyre?

We forgive Feyre because we know how sorry she is, we know her heart, and we love her. But Rhys? He's the High Lord of the Night Court — which alone triggers some unconscious alerts within us — and he's playing dirty, hiding, and being a horrible person, so why should he be forgiven?

That's what our brain unconsciously thinks sometimes, and it makes us judge some characters more severely. Understanding the duality and complexity of a character is not an easy task; it requires a lot of empathy and an open mind.

But why am I saying this? Because it's important to understand: Rhys and Feyre are extremely similar, and they understand each other at a fundamental level because of that. Tamlin, on the other hand, has a completely different personality. He's the one who freezes, who paralyzes.

Rhys and Feyre experience the trauma Under the Mountain together, so Feyre and Tamlin are separated, which, combined with the glaring difference between the two, makes it difficult — perhaps impossible — for them to heal together because, out of loyalty to the character's nature, Sarah can't make Tamlin talk about what's happening like Feyre needs.

Even after Under the Mountain, Tamlin's instinctive action is to freeze. So he doesn't talk about Feyre's nightmares, he pretends not to see her despair, he turns away from her need to talk about the subject — because looking at her trauma would be the same as acknowledging his own.

And he can't do that because it's part of his nature to freeze. But this isn't healthy, hence the explosions of anger, and hence he locks Feyre up the moment she tries to assert herself: these are the consequences of forcing someone who deals with PTSD by freezing to actually deal with their traumas (that and the fact that he's horrible).

I can understand that (not in his relationship with Feyre, I'm talking more generally here, about him as High Lord, he can rot otherwise) but I can't forgive it like I did with Rhys because, unlike the actions Rhys took, paralysis only allows evil to continue to grow and end up imprisoning us (this is, in fact, one of the reasons why Tamlin didn't try to fight like Rhys while Amarantha was killing Feyre: his lack of previous action left him unable to take action when it was time to "put up or shut up").

While Tamlin's paralysis pushes us down while doing us harm, Rhys's actions, as horrible as they may be, are done in the hope of something good, they're done to move us forward. I can forgive him because I'd rather be someone who does horrible things in the hope of creating something better than be someone who allows evil to continue to grow until it imprisons me.

It's that simple.

And Feyre is exactly that kind of person. She needs to act, she needs to talk about it to heal. She needs to have a purpose, not be coddled like Tamlin — and his trauma — wants her to be.

The relationship between her and Tamlin becomes abusive the moment he tries to stifle her feelings to maintain a state of paralysis. And that's something you'd expect from a character like Tamlin, that's how he was built. But this happens long before Under the Mountain: I remember that on the first day Feyre yields to the dresses Tamlin gave her in ACOTAR, I think it was the morning after Calanmai, she warns herself to be gentle, to be kind, when dealing with Tamlin and Lucien.

But after Under the Mountain, Feyre can no longer accept that her feelings be stifled simply because her traumas are consuming her from the inside out. So she fights back. And that's what completely ends their relationship.

But the point is: both Tamlin, Feyre, and Rhysand follow exactly the line of their personalities throughout the story. They are those kinds of people from start to finish. There's an evolution, of course, but it's an evolution of beliefs, opinions, and perceptions — their essences remain the same.

That's why Sarah is brilliant in these books: by being completely faithful to her characters' personalities, she created a story that discusses abusive relationships, the varied responses of certain types of people to trauma, and the various reactions of leaders in times of war and defeat.

But the point is: none of them were changed to fit a ship, simply because they weren't changed. All three of these characters act exactly the way they should within the limits of their own personalities.

Rhys is the High Lord who plays dirty to create a better world, and Tamlin is a leader who can't make a tough decision. And there's another fundamental difference between them:

While Rhys knows that, from time to time, he'll be forced to make decisions that will end up harming part of his people (and will choose the lesser of two evils), Tamlin still struggles with the enchanted vision of a superhero who saves everyone without exception. And when that doesn't happen — because it's never possible to save everyone no matter what you do — he prefers not to act.

I think the two things that illustrate very well the kind of person Rhys and Tamlin are is the Illyrian tradition of cutting the wings of their females and the Tribute:

Rhys risks a revolt to improve the lives of his people and sticks to that decision, willing to pay the price for it if the result is a better life for the Illyrian females, while Tamlin fails to abolish an extremely unnecessary tax because his inability to act makes him cling to archaic traditions like the Tribute.

So, yes, I forgive Rhys for what he did Under the Mountain, because I couldn't love someone who freezes and leaves me to die. I prefer to love someone who cares so deeply about something — a dream — that they're willing to fight and play dirty for it. And then go to battle to defend it.

Hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to point out points that I didn't comment on; I'll try to respond to everyone's comments!"

#acotar #rhysand #feyre archeron #feysand #rhys acotar #books #fantasy books #sjm #sarah j. maas #sarah j maas #cassian acotar #a court of thorns and roses #acomaf #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #tamlin #tamlin acotar #morrigan

[idontplaytrack]

Distress

Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader

Warnings: hospital setting, descriptions of labour & delivery with complications, vomiting, blood & bodily fluid mentions

In which, Janis’ life ends up in your hands. So does your baby’s — and you had to make a decision that would be life altering either way

It’s crazy how fast life could change. And how drastically it could change — all because of one thing.

“y/n, you have to choose. Quick.” The doctor urged you. You felt the blood draining from your face as tears poured from your eyes. You were all alone with a lifeless Janis on the operating table, surrounded by people- doctors and nurses but the most alone and helpless you’ve ever been. You wanted so bad to fall on the ground and cry, but you tried to stay strong. Though you weren’t sure what it was for at this point. You didn’t know what to do.

Once Janis was confirmed to be in labour, you came into the hospital with her to meet her team for the occasion. You got her checked in then she was swiftly brought into her room that was picked out in advance. The nurses on shift got her changed into an open-back gown — which she hated, and got an IV plug set. She hated the latter even more. And of course, a fetal monitor. “All done, mama.” The nurse smiled sympathetically, “You’re all set. Just try and rest and we’ll be by every hour to check on you. If you need anything, call button is on the remote on either side of your head on the bed rails.

“Okay, thanks.” Janis replied simply.

Once the nurse had left, Janis asks, “Did you tell them yet?” “I did. I texted the group. Cady said she and Regina will come by soon, after they have breakfast. The rest of them are probably still asleep-” Your phone buzzes, “It’s Damian. He is…on his way.”

Janis chuckles, “He’s actually coming here?”

“Yeah, that’s what he said.” You showed her your phone screen briefly.

“Damn.”

You put your phone away, “How are you feeling so far?”

“It’s not bad, maybe I just have high pain tolerance.” Janis assured, “I’m okay.” You press a kiss to her forehead, squeezing her free hand. Her contractions were regular, but not causing her much pain yet. It was true, Janis had way higher pain tolerance than you did.

“You wanna get back to sleep, babe?”

She nodded, laying on her left side then drifted off to sleep while you stayed up keeping an eye on her and your phone in case any of your friends texted. Friends, yes. Family, no. Your parents didn’t like Janis and her parents did not like you. They’ve been against your relationship from the beginning but Janis didn’t give a shit.

Periodically, Janis would make little pained noises in her sleep, alerting you that she was having a contraction. Not once did she wake up, until someone came in to check on her progress. Boy, did she hate that. She showed it and the doctor definitely already knew. Once the doctor leaves, Damian showed up. “Hi, honey.” He greeted.

“Hi.” Janis forced a smile, laying back down.

“How you feelin’?”

“Uncomfortable. Especially with the doctor just shoving her fingers in to check me. What an invasion.”

“I’m sorry, but I’m sure they need to do that.” He cringed, “How are you doing?” He casts his glance you. “I’m…okay. Nervous? But fine.”

“Okay, do you want anything to eat, drink?” He continues.

“No, I’m okay I can’t even think about eating right now.” You declined. The three of you chatted for awhile, then Janis just suddenly got silent- her eyes screwed shut and she reached for your hand. You let her squeeze it to divert the pain, “You’re okay, baby. Breathe through it. You know what to do.”

Janis was handling it like a champ.

————

An hour later, Cady and Regina arrived. “We’re here.” Regina says, “How are things going?”

“So far, everything’s perfect.” You told the pair, “Progressing as expected.”

Janis has gotten quieter, now that the pain’s picked up in intensity somewhat. “Jan? You alright?”

She nodded, looking away from you. You hear her exhaling harshly. “Okay. You want some more ice chips?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” You told her, grabbing the paper cup off the table. You left Janis alone with the three of them for a minute or so while you went a little bit down the hall to get what she wanted. Actually, all she was allowed right now. “Here you go, babe.” You stood before, holding the cup up to her lips with a spoonful of the crushed ice. She opened up her mouth and accepted it.

“y/n?” Regina asks, breaking the silence, “Have you not eaten anything today? Your stomach just growled.”

“I don’t—”

“You need to eat.” Janis’s eyes flicked up to look at you.

“She’s right.” Cady chimed in, “I’m about to go down to the cafeteria anyway. I’ll grab you something too. Please eat. We can’t afford having you pass out today.” You reluctantly agreed while you fed your wife another spoonful of the ice.

“Fuck.” She mutters under her breath, you quickly put the cup down and held onto her, rubbing her back as she leaned onto you. Regina and Cady leaves after having asked you what you wanted to eat, after Janis’ contraction ended. “Whatever’s fine.” You told them.

“Okay, then.” Regina shrugs, leaving with Cady. As if on cue, a nurse returns to check on Janis. “You’re at a three.”

“Still?” Janis asked.

“It’s your first baby so it usually could take longer.”

“I can walk right? That’ll help?”

“Yes, dear.” The nurse answered, “You’re doing fine, don’t worry.”

“Thanks, Melanie.” You said to the nurse as she was leaving. She gives you a smile. You helped Janis stand up and walk around the room— but not before putting on a pair of non-slip socks.

You put an arm around her and kept her steady while she walked. Damian was paying pretty close attention just in case Janis got a pain that was too bad and you couldn’t hold her whole weight. The two of you took a few laps around the room before she decided she’s had enough for now. Regina returns and handed you a ham and cheese sandwich and a cup of tea, “Eat up. Cady’s in the bathroom.” “Thanks.” You took the food from the blonde and glanced at Janis in the meantime to make sure she was settled. “Babe, I’m okay. I’m just gonna take another nap before the pain keeps me awake.” Damian waits for her to be laying down comfortably before pulling her blanket up. “I’m so proud of you.”

Janis smiled at him, “Thanks, dude.” And with that, her eyes were closed again.

Regina started a conversation awhile later after deeming Janis deeply asleep enough to not get woken up too easily. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

“I haven’t slept in what, 4 hours and we only got five hours of sleep last night before her contractions started.” You told her, “I guess it’s just been hard for me to witness all of this— as relieved as I have been that her pregnancy has went by smoothly and is considered low risk.”

“Because of—”

You nodded knowingly, “My miscarriage, yeah. I tried my best to protect her, keep her healthy and safe. Today’s finally the day and I just want it to go well.” Unexpectedly, the usually unaffectionate blonde squeezed your hand. “She’s doing great.” Regina looks at Janis’ sleeping figure, “Look at that monitor- she’s having contractions but not making a sound? What a badass.”

A small sigh escapes your lips, “Thanks, G.” You resumed eating, Cady walks back inside quietly.

————

“I have a shift soon, so I’ll get going. Any of you, please keep me updated. I will be back later, okay?” Damian requested quietly seeing that you were now napping as well.

“Sure, Damian.” Cady promised.

“Thanks, y’all. See you guys later.”

You woke up from your short nap and it was currently hour five. At the last check, Janis had progressed from three to four centimetres. “No one came in to check her yet right?”

“No, but soon, judging by the time.” Cady assured.

Once the nurse walked in to check on Janis, she pretty much got startled awake. By the pain. Seeing that look on her face, you were instantly flustered. “Something’s not right.” You and your friends froze, you felt yourself getting lightheaded but you forced yourself to stay standing.

Melanie hurriedly checked what was going on. “I’m gonna call for her doctor now. We need to do a an emergency c-section and the baby’s heart rate is dropping. She’s haemorrhaging. y/n, I’m sorry, you and your friends are going to have to leave the room.”

No, you couldn’t leave her. Not right now. Janis was wailing in pain, the worst you’ve seen her all day. All pregnancy. She was crying for you, but she knew you weren’t going to be here. You couldn’t be.

“y/n, please. Leave now. Her team’s coming in right now to intervene.” Melanie started shoving you out of the room. Regina looked her displeased but quickly led you outside. You could hear and see Janis screaming and crying through the blinds. Until a minute later her team of doctors arrived and shut the blinds, but not before you caught a look of the pool of her own blood beneath her.

“Oh, my fucking god.” You collapsed, heart shattered and crying in Regina’s arms. She caught you, making sure you didn’t hurt your head. For once in her life, the blonde didn’t have a clue what to say. You felt another pair pf arms around you- Cady was also hugging you. But none of that helped- you wanted Janis to be okay. You couldn’t believe what you just had to witness.

“Sit down, baby. Sit down.” Regina persuaded. You could barely hear her, tears falling without an end. You heard the commotion of them rushing Janis into the operating theatre and you couldn’t bear to look. Regina shielded your eyes from the sight, but they could definitely see it. You hear Cady gasp- she didn’t mean it. But you cried harder. “She’s a fighter, y/n.” Cady told you, “She’ll be okay.”

“You don’t know that.” You cried.

“She has a lot to live for, she will fight for them.” Regina agrees with the redhead. You blinked furiously, trying to stop the tears but they only kept falling.

Somehow, the whole gang appeared before you. You didn’t even know who told them but they were all here to keep you company. To hope and pray that Janis got through this. To make sure that the baby would be okay. As much as you appreciated them, you couldn’t express it. Your mind kept flashing with images of Janis in distress. It haunted you. No one dared to stop you from crying— you needed some form of release but they were also equally worried about what would come for you after such intense crying. With your head in your hands, your mind wanders to a particular conversation you had with Janis sometime during her pregnancy.

“If it ever comes to this…the doctor asks you if they should save the baby or me. Save me. We can always try again for a baby, one way or another.“

You sniffled, sitting up straight as you got into a coughing fit. Aaron quickly offered you a bottle of water from his bag. You declined wordlessly, right as a nurse rushed out asking for you. “Mrs. ‘Imi’ike, come with me now.”

The blood. The damn blood. Your stomach churned. But you took a breath and quickly followed her. “We’ve no choice but to ask, should we save your wife or the baby?” She asked while running. You ran with her, through the double doors and into the freezing operating theatre.

“We’re trying to save both of them right now, but in the worst case scenario, y/n, you have to choose. Quick. Right now.”

Seeing the team covered in her blood, seeing Janis unconscious. It shook you to the core, but you had to say it. You had to make the choice.

“Wife. Save my wife- I don’t care what it takes. You save my wife. I am not leaving without her.”

————

You don’t remember much from that point on. It was as though you’d blacked out. You didn’t even know how you got back out, but you were sitting in the plastic chair shivering. Gretchen. She drapes a jacket over you. You weren’t sure if it was her, but you heard her voice while you felt the fabric on your shoulders.

“y/n, look at me.” You hear Regina next. Your body just didn’t respond to that, but your mind becomes hyper-focused on the sickening feeling. You stood up but quickly fell back in the seat. Your legs didn’t work. Cady caught you this time- you hear her talking right by your ear as your head spun and spun. Your vision started to blur, your mouth watered feeling the bile rising in your throat.

You bent over and threw your whole breakfast up and then some. It does nothing but make you cry even harder, like that was even possible. They have never seen you like this…so vulnerable. You were always the life of the party. You always were optimistic, even through your own miscarriage. But this was a big fucking blow.

“They made me choose.” You sniffled, looking at no one in particular, “They made me choose—”

Aaron went to get a janitor to clean up the floor. “y/n, what—” Cady began asking. “Janis and the baby.” You swallowed, hard, your back falling against the backrest of the chair. Karen hands you a tissue, you wiped your mouth off hastily and she took another tissue to remove the used tissue from your hand. “They made me choose— and I —”

Regina holds you in her arms again, almost on reflex, letting you get whatever you wanted to say, out. “Janis told me before— to save her. And I did— but I still— oh, my God. What if she blames herself for the baby— G, I—”

“Sweetie, Janis knows what she wants and she’s always clear. You did what she would’ve wanted. You can always try again, but you only get one Janis.”

You only get one Janis.

————

The next hour or so— you weren’t certain, was like a never ending wait and nightmare. Your head rested on Cady’s shoulder as you tried not to give in to fatigue. Your head was starting to pound, you were so thirsty and your stomach ached from the inevitable hunger. But all you could think about was your wife.

The eerie sound of the double doors opening rang through your ears. You stood up right as her doctor approached you— free of her blood-stained attire. “Mrs. ‘Imi’ike, your wife is fine. But unfortunately, we had to let go of your baby. I’m very sorry for your loss, but your wife pulled through. She’s strong, a fighter.”

“Janis is okay?” You asked in disbelief.

“She received a blood transfusion for the blood loss thanks to one of your friends.” The doctor confirms, “She will make a full recovery.”

“Oh. Oh, my God. Thank you.” You hugged the doctor.

“It’s my job, dear.” She hugs you back briefly then broke away. “They’re just making sure she’s all settled then she’ll be moved to a ward. High-dependency for 72-hours just to be safe.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Take care.” With that, the doctor departs. You began searching for the said friend who apparently slipped away from the chaos to help Janis.

“Who was the one—”

“Regina’s also O-negative so she went ahead and just gave her blood.” Gretchen answered your question.

“What…?”

Regina did? This was the most selfless thing she’s ever done for anyone.

“Shit, I couldn’t even help—”

“y/n, please. Anyone would help- no questions asked. You can’t choose your blood type. That’s- that’s not how it works. Regina didn’t even hesitate.”

“You helped the most, y/n. You went with her wishes. You gave her a second chance at life.” Aaron chimed in.

Second chance at life…you did do that.

“Fuck, I don’t know what I would do without you g—” You looked at each and every one of them, seeing Regina walking out from a room with a bandaid on her arm. You ran over to her and just tackled her in a hug, “Regina, thank you.” You sobbed, “Thank you for doing that.”

“I did what I had to do.” She rubs your back, “Don’t need to thank me.”

Later on, you were all informed of where Janis was sent to. They only allowed immediate family to enter, meaning only you in this current situation. But they all walked up with you, and you were so confused when you got there because her parents were inside. Already. They were exiting so they saw you, and they looked like they wanted to kill you. Maybe not literally, but their words sure hurt.

“She would have been fine if it weren’t for you.” Her mother spat. Given your current state, that was all it took to make you cry again. Regina’s grip on your shoulders tightened. “The doctors say Janis is okay.” Her father told her mother.

“Not for sure, she isn’t.”

Regina was even angrier at this point, witnessing the hell you’d just been through. “She’s the reason your daughter’s even lying right there now.” Regina spoke up, “Nothing gives you the right to talk to her like that. She saved our friend, her wife, your daughter. If anything, you should be thanking her. You weren’t here for Janis- y/n was here through all of it. You have no idea what she’s been through today. You have no clue what she’s had to see, to hear for the whole pregnancy, you have no clue what she herself has been through so don’t you dare start this shit with me. Now move, it’s her turn.”

You quietly made your way past her parents and entered the hospital room. The pungent smell of antiseptic hit your nose. You cringe, eyes screwing shut for a second before you proceeded to sit in the creaky plastic chair.

“Hi, my love.” You greeted her tearfully, carefully picking up her fragile hand. “I’m very sorry for the choice I had to make for you, I could only save one of you and I know you asked me to but I’m so sorry. Please don’t blame yourself for it, please don’t do that. Like you said, we can always try again. But it was worth it because you’re still here with me. You’re still going to be here with me - we’ll continue to go through life together and nothing mattered more to me than making sure you were okay and didn’t suffer for more than you had to.”

You pressed a tender kiss to her hand then let it go to brush the hair out of her face, “Thank you for being so strong and fighting for yourself. I love you so very much, Janis.”

#auli’i cravalho #janis ‘imi’ike #janis 'imi'ke x fem reader #mean girls 2024 #wlw #queer #lesbian #fluff #angst #pregnancy fic #fanfic #wlw fanfic

[drunkenskunk]

Welcome to another Drunk Skunk™ rant!

So.

I've had some time to sit and stew on the Fallout show, and I think I've finally figured out exactly what I want to say. Because kids? I got Opinions™ about this fucking series. I sincerely wish I didn't have all these Opinions™, because that would almost certainly cause me significantly less stress.

But here we are.

The Fallout show annoys me, but not for the reasons you think.

Let's get the good out of the way first. And by "good" I mean "damning with faint praise."

The Fallout show, as a piece of entertainment and experienced in a vacuum with no prior knowledge or context of the rest of the series or any of the other video games, is... fine. It's an entertaining television show. It's not great, but it's not terrible. It's okay.

The best part of the show is, unquestionably, Walton Goggins. Which is probably the coldest take here, everyone agrees that he's fantastic in this. And it's true! Granted, he doesn't look nearly as gnarly as he should, as the makeup is really giving Ryan Reynolds Deadpool Hugo Weaving Red Skull vibes, but I can honestly give that a pass. He steals every single scene he's in. He has all the best lines. Plus, all the pre-war flashbacks with him are excellent. That first scene when the bombs drop is fucking harrowing.

SPEAKING OF THE BOMBS!

The big reveal that Vault Tec were the ones to kickstart the apocalypse. My initial gut reaction to that was... Not Great. I didn't like it. In fact, I kinda hated it. I thought it was an answer to a question that nobody asked, because nobody cared, because it was never supposed to matter who shot first. The original point was that the end of the world was the inevitable outcome after so many years of war, so many years of stockpiling nuclear weapons, and so many bad decisions from everyone in positions of power on all sides of the conflict.

But the more I think about Vault Tec being the ones to destroy the world... I dunno, the more I... kinda like it? In a fashion. Sort of. As you can see by the remaining length of this fucking rant, I have Complicated Feelings about this!

See, Fallout has never exactly been subtle with its themes, but the show drops all pretense, and openly embraces a staunchly (and honestly, extremely surprising) anti-capitalist narrative.

The Fallout show pulls a Garth Marenghi unironically, and it honestly... kinda works?

Vault Tec were the ones to drop the bombs because they wanted to recreate the world in their image of a capitalist "paradise" free of any and all government regulation. The inevitable end result of the "great game" of capitalism is the literal end of the world, and the capitalists will do everything they can to destroy any attempts to rebuild any civilization not explicitly under their direct control. Because that's what capitalists do: they pursue an ultimately self-destructive goal that is not, and never was, sustainable, and will destroy everything else in their pursuit of endless, infinite, exponential growth, forever. Nothing else matters except Make Number Line Go Up.

Side note: it is extremely funny to me that Bethesda - a hollow shell of greed and excess who have been releasing the same game with different wallpapers over and over again since Oblivion - and Amazon - which is fucking Amazon - bankrolled a show where the villains are greedy capitalists who explicitly destroyed the world because of fiduciary duty to the shareholders. Like... guys, you do realize you two are Vault Tec in this scenario, right?

Ah well. That's capitalist realism for ya.

Anyway, the more I think about it, the more sense it makes that Vault Tec were the ones to drop the bombs.

HOWEVER.

Maybe this is just me being a cynical, drunken asshole here, but... it feels like this was a decision that was made, not because it was the best way to take the narrative, but instead as a means of enforcing the Status Quo of Bethesda Fallout.

See, the thing I liked about the west coast Fallout games was that it showed a world ravaged by the apocalypse, but it also showed that world beginning to heal. 200 years after The End, and civilization was returning. It was a natural evolution of things, emphasizing the post part of "post-apocalypse." It showed us a world that really sucked a lot of the time... but also gave us a small sliver of hope that, no matter what nightmares existed after The End, things could - and would - get better, so long as we put in the work to make it better. It was a world that showed us that nothing was ever so broken that it couldn't be repaired. We just had to fucking EARN that happy ending.

Bethesda Fallout, on the other hand, is just Wacky Wasteland Adventure Time. They are not interested in showing a world evolving or changing or growing, they just want a blasted hellscape that looks like it was freshly nuked yesterday. Why? Because that's the surface-level Aesthetic of Fallout. That is what is recognizable. And Aesthetic is all they know how to do. That's the mother fucking Brand.

Doing something different would risk changing the Brand, and if that kind of change happens, then it's no longer easily marketable. So they just keep with what's familiar: freshly irradiated hellscapes, caps as currency, makeshift weapons, psychotic raiders with no purpose or goals beyond Fuck You, and more of the fucking Brotherhood of Steel. It's all the stuff we remember, so we can point at the screen and go "I recognize that!" instead of allowing the setting to evolve and creating something new.

And that's what annoys me the most. Because even though Vault Tec destroying the world in 2077 makes a certain amount of sense, it also feels like it only exists as a means of artificially enforcing the status quo of the setting. Which means that nothing will ever matter in Fallout ever again. It doesn't matter what happens, or what changes in the future, or who wins the next ideological conflict between the same factions that keep reappearing over and over again like radroaches. Because whenever something strays too far from the established setting, Vault Tec (or, more accurately, Bethesda) is just going to nuke it again, like what happened to Shady Sands.

And, y'know, Shady Sands getting nuked like that really does rankle. Not because I ever had any attachment to the NCR, but because destroying it in the way that they did just felt so fucking lazy. If they wanted to get rid of the NCR, there were easily half a dozen other things they could've done that would've made far more sense. The NCR was a fantastically corrupt government, making the same mistakes as the same governments that (up until the show) were responsible for destroying the world. California was running out of food and clean drinking water because of gross negligence and mismanagement, public unrest was high because of excessive taxation and the "stop tolls" of corrupt border guards shaking down people, and both the military and bureaucracy of the NCR was spread fucking paper-thin, due to their policies of violent imperialist expansionism trying to take far more territory than they could reasonably hold, far more quickly than they could ever manage.

And did any of that matter? No. Not at all. Pursuing any of those plot threads would've required the writers to actually come up with some new ideas. So, instead, it was destroyed because of a cryogenically frozen Vault Tec middle manager with family problems. It was such a fucking lazy solution to a problem that should never have existed in the first place. It felt like the Fallout equivalent of "Somehow, Palpatine has returned."

That's why this show annoys me so much. Because this show that exists without subtlety or subtext, is telling us, to our face:

Don't hope for a better future, because it will never come. The world of Fallout is a destroyed, irradiated hellscape, entirely devoid of hope, and it will never, ever change, ever again.

Because that's the Fallout Brand, and that's what fucking sells.

#drunk skunk rant #Fallout #fallout show #fallout tv show #fallout show spoilers #it took me three hours to write this #what the hell am I doing with my life

[md-confessions]

As a response to some stuff on my last confession on J

Yes, she fucked up N immensely. So did V likely

also her interaction with him in ep 6 was pretty tame. The worst she did was call him a bozo which isn't on my top 10 worst insults lists

But I suppose by definition she is an abuser, I shall concede to that. But I still stand by her monologue to N where she says she'd kill him herself as not having enough context to fully see how bad J was here. N could've very well done a lot of crap over the years worthy of being berated by a superior.

(I also still say the kick is justified, even if there was a better way of getting his ass in gear she was probably stressed seeing Tessa's favorite drone in such a dangerous position)

That being said, J can take it too far and it certainly has damaged the poor boy. I'd like to see a scene in ep 8 or beyond where J reconciles with him since I really don't think she wanted to fuck up N and only wanted what was good for the company and the galaxy as a whole. People make bad decisions, but they can rectify those decisions. We aren't defined by any action we take, as long as we don't let ourselves be defined by those actions

And no, I'm not asking for N to forgive her for what she did. I'm simply asking they have an understanding of why she did what she did and N can explain to her why he was the way he was. N can run his mouth off to her about all the horrible things she's done and as long as she explains herself and understands what she did was wrong, that's enough for me. N can still hate J (if he even does at this point) and J can still hate N.

Just one last point I just thought of, why would Cyn, who loves N like her older brother, not only put him in a squad with J but also retain her original personality for him if she was gonna be abusive towards him? Could be the Solver being the Solver but it paired him up with his crush, so why the hell J who's abusive? Just something to consider

-- TSM

.

#md confessions #murder drones #serial designation v #serial designation n #serial designation j #md cyn

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#the thing about me is i hate making decisions #im literally worrying myself up and down over things i literally cant even make decisions abt now bc i dont know that ill actually be #accepted into the programs. like im just stressing bc for the program in the uk i have to try for scholarships #bc i dont wanna have to pay to go to school over there when i have equally enticing oppertunity here that will pay me for like 5yrs #so i have to get a full ride scholarship and to do that i have to collaborate with the guy and im gonna feel so bad it it flops #and im gonna feel even worse if i get the scholarship and then get sniped by another school #bc right now my heart kinda wants to go to this school in [redacted] bc i could get a 4-5yr phd in ecology and Evolution #the lab is set up with a bunch of other evolutionary genetics ppl. its near a rad national park. and the reasearch is sick as hell. #like it sounds so good. my heart wants to go there. if theyll have me which i wont kno for literally months. but the uk thing is like #if i get the scholarship i cant say no. like i mean i cant. it would look insanely good on a resume. id get to do directed evolution and #photosynthesis stuff with a guy who has controversial photosynthesis ideas lmao. but idk hes just starting out so it feel more like a leap #of faith. and ive done uk courses they r not as soul crushing as american courses and i want them to crush my soul #and its like a wanky good school. so like i cant say no to that. ugh but the [redacted] school also has nasa and astrobiology connections #and then theres the Canadian guy who's reasearch also sounds sick as hell. and again this is all stupid bc i havent even applied to any of #them yet and idk who will even take me but ugh i dread the decision making #ugh i just need to shut up and work on my applications. but i dont wanna think abt the present bc im not happy doing what i do now #id rather think abt the future where im somewhere else #but i guess ive got time to write this weekend bc our sampling plans were busted by the rain rip #so idk we have to go back at some point. sigh.. #i wish everything could just be easy haha #unrelated #also ive possibly been exposed to covid thru my boss who got an alert that she was in close contact with someone who test positive rip

[uncanny-tranny]

Your fears that you don't have a body that will transition "well" are, sure, understandable, but there isn't truly such thing as a body that's unworthy of transition. Perhaps your changing body won't suit everybody's taste, but would you rather live for yourself or for the whims of random people who don't care about your happiness as long as they're attracted to what they see?

Transition is for anybody who wants it. It's okay to be fearful. It's okay to be uncertain. But it isn't the end of the world. You are in control, and if you choose to transition to any capacity, it should be at your behest. You and your body are worthy of transition. I hope you are able to seize transition and do what you truly want for yourself.

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #have been seeing a small resurgence in some trans spaces that there is such thing as an 'untransitional' body #there are people out there who cannot transition for medical/financial/social reasons but that isn't what people often mean #kill the person in your head that says you need to adhere to cishet standards. it's okay to be trans and *look* it if you want #transition because it makes you feel happy or fulfilled. transition because it is something *you* want #while yes it's complex because appearing trans can be dangerous i ultimately want people to have the freedom to make decisions solely... #...on what *they* want y'know? #i have seen this idea that some people just aren't 'able' to transition because they won't 'appear cis' for years now and it's heartbreaking #like i used the whole 'i don't look cis' against myself because it's impossible for me *to be* cis... #...i will never be non-trans. i will never not be a transsexual and i used to hate that about myself... #...because i was taught that being trans is bad. i was taught that looking trans is a curse that nobody should EVER inflict upon themselves #and that the goal was to essentially distance yourself as far away from transness as you can #and it's okay for people to not want to 'look' visibly trans. it's neutral. what was harmful was the idea that TRANS was bad #there's a huge difference between 'i don't want to be visibly trans' and 'i think being trans and looking it is bad'

[salemontrial]

Why the FUCK didn't Sasha apologize to Quinni.

#no im so pissed about that. #dude you don't give an autistic person a meltdown that big over something that hurtful #and just #walk away scot free #last time someone gave me a meltdown that hardcore I cut them off for a month. #that might just be the bpd tho #but still #quinni doesn't seem like the type to just. be chill without an apology and hearing sasha explain herself #and then she makes her her vice?????????? #she already acknowledged sasha is only in it for the power trip #sasha didn't even do anything in the investigation she just followed quinni around #which as she should #but she hasn't made up for how she treated quinni AT ALL #in fact she's just gotten MORE of a performative activist #like why the fuck was she such a bitch to missy abt spider #i get it yea. ur friends sometimes have dogshit taste in men but you don't need to make them feel like trash abt it #and the way she was like 'he fetishizes u for being black omg its probably asian girls next omg i dont feel safe' #THIS ISNT ABOUT YOU????????. #also she 100% jumpstarted quinnis identity crisis #with how she was constantly switching between infantilizing her and undermining her autonomy over her own decisions #and treating doing things quinni wanted to do and the specific way she needed to do them as a chore #and then victimizing herself!!!!!!! #like from experience that relationship dynamic IS abusive to autistic people it just is #idk if nt people get it but it's really fucking awful to come from your partner #anyway. until sasha apologizes to both quinni and missy this will continue to be a sasha hate page. #heartbreak high #heartbreak high season 2 #quinni gallagher jones #sasha so #missy beckett

[eosofspades]

okay i meant to make this post forever ago but my personal opinion on why so many people were so dissatisfied with lightfalll (disclaimer: i am not one of these people, i love lightfall SO much), is that lightfall was kind of subjected to a really aggressive marketing campaign.

like, stick with me here, i feel like almost all the lightfall release content (the trailers especially) were so focused on battling the witness, how this battle has been centuries in the making and this is the Second Collapse Finally Finding Us, only for there to be,,, no real resolution. the end was left on such a severe cliffhanger, but not only that, there was NO battle with the witness. the witness didn't even seem to be having a hard time at all with what we WERE throwing at it.

and for narrative reasons *i* am obsessed with this ending; in terms of storytelling i adore practically every creative decision that was made in lightfall, but i think the reason that so many people were so upset about it is because lightfall had such intense marketing and was rooted in the implication that this was the End of Days, only for us to get almost no closure, and instead so many more questions.

(there's also something to be said, i think, about the fact that the people who ARE most upset about this are like, the youtube gamer dudebros who's content is very very often rooted in the aggressive, violence-and-warfare, pvp-centric, no-interest-in-lore approach to destiny, and that the people i've seen primarily ENJOYING the narrative decisions (or at least being understanding about it) are the artists and writers and loremasters of the fandom, but i'm not quite sure,,, how to expand on that point.)

#like. something something yt dudebros who are like 'uhhh destiny is about violence and war and the lore is only for people who suck at pvp #and destiny is a shitty evil game i hate it sooooo much hashtag 26871435 hours recorded gameplay' asshats #being the ones complaining MOST about the narrative in. a narrative driven game. and refusing to engage with ANY lore in a LORE HEAVY GAME #vs. the community on here thats full of artists and writers and people who actually like to analyze the story and characters #and engage with the lore and have any emotional attachment at all to the characters and world and themes #being the ones who are like. appreciative of the narrative decisions made and looking forward to where the story will take us and #looking at the game with LOVE instead of hatred and malice #and even if you didn't like lightfall!!! people in the latter category are still the people who i keep seeing be like #'yeah even if i didn't personally like it i can understand the significance of this narrative decision.' #'i acknowledge that bungie put so much time and effort and passion into making this even if it wasnt satisfying to me personally.' #'i have the critical thinking skills to understand that bungie is not a sentient malicious entity trying to ruin my life; me; specifically' #like. do you get what im saying. gamer dudebros who think the world revolves around them vs the fandom members who actually understand art #bc. thats what destiny is. its art. the whole thing is a massive art project made by a group of people that are very passionate about it. #do you hear what im saying at ALL its like two separate fandoms for the same piece of media the difference is so stark #mine #destiny 2 #lightfall #destiny 2 lightfall #eos destiny essays

[thepetesimp]

At the end of the day, this is what's most important to me.

#4 minutes #bible wichapas #be on cloud #the man is excited beyond belief about this #and he deserves all the praise and attention he'll get from this show #and no - evil BOC isn't holding a gun to his head to make him post about how ecstatic he is #it's clear as day that it's genuine #the very *fact* that it's Jes who is his new partner shows how much Bible's opinion counted for a LOT of decisions that took place #I can't properly explain how happy I am for him #so fair warning I won't be subtle about my love for 4 Minutes #I've been waiting for this since last January I won't hold back #so if you don't want to see it unfollow/block me #(adding here the obvious thing that my blog name should have warned you about already - I'm not a Build hater) #(I actually love Build quite a lot) #(So do not expect any hate about this man from me) #(That's not who I am or who I plan to become) #(Thank you)

[jackietaylorgf]

i literally wont stand for the dawniefication of callie. the most annoying character in yellowjackets??? multiple people saying they wish she didnt exist and they hate her and she's just in the way and they want her to die. are you insane?? she is a Child living in the shadow of her mom's dead best friend that she never knew because her she froze to death in the wilderness years before callie was born. she is a little girl whose entire world got fucked up because she found out her mom is a murderer and her dad is a (bad) blackmailer and now they've all been backed into trying to cover up a murder. her whole life just got upended against her will. of course shes going to lash out on her parents and break up with her high school boyfriend and lie about staying at a friend's house and go to a bar she's not supposed to be at and date an older man she's not supposed to be seeing. even if it's destructive it's something she can control! the comfortable boring Safe life she thought she had was ripped away from her so yeah she's doing reckless shit without thinking about the consequences bc that's all she Can do.

it's dawn summers being voted the most annoying character on television ever all over again. you people just hate teenage girls when they act like teenage girls.

#obviously i didnt watch buffy as it aired bc i was negative 3 years old but i was so shocked when i read that people Viscerally Hated dawn. #AND SHES JUST LIKE HER MOTHER. AND JUST LIKE JACKIE. #do you think teen shauna slept with jeff because she was a master manipulator who wanted to ruin jackie's life? NO. #she never intended for jackie to find out! she did it because things were changing and jackie was making decisions about her for her. #also the gay stuff. her desire for jackie runs so deep that she cant separate it from jealousy and she can't pinpoint what she wants etc. #not really my point rn. #so she fucked her boyfriend because thats a decision She could make about Her Own Life and Her Own Body. #i know headlines are supposed to be provocative but that one Is the most annoying. actually. #i didnt read the article bc the headline pissed me off too bad #dawn summers and callie sadecki i will live fight and die for you both. my best friends. #yellowjackets #callie #ri.txt