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#the man deserves the worst
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This is basically Michael in FNAF Sister location,,
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yardsards · 10 months
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ranking the main taz trios from least to most likely to have all kissed each other on the mouth at some point:
5: coriolis crew. absolutely not. there is about a 0% chance even a single pair of them kissed. i don't think even friendly cheek kisses have occurred. amber is allergic to affection, devo will not shut up for even 5 seconds, and i don't think zoox even has lips. not even to mention the weird distant coworkers but also contentious found family vibe they got goin on. no kissies were had.
4: pine guard trio. it's been a long time since i listened to amnesty but i just do not see it happening iirc. maybe ned and duck at some point like once? definitely not aubrey with either of them. and not thacker (if you include him) either.
3: tres horny boys. counting the stolen century, i think there's an okay chance taako and magnus have kissed at least once. the chance of either of them kissing merle is pretty low but not fully nonexistent
2: thundermen llc. it's happened before and no one knows if it was romantic or friendly/messing around, least of all the three of them, and they're okay with that
1: poppy's boys. these old men have explored each other's bodies on more than one occasion and it was awkward and weird every time but that's not stopping them
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strigital · 3 months
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just... him... 🥺
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uncanny-tranny · 13 days
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So much love and recognition to the people who don't know how they feel about recovering. To the people whose scars are fading away, and there's a sinking feeling, despite knowing that it's a good thing. To the people who miss when they were "worse," when they felt "broken." To the people who mourn losing their coping mechanisms, even the ones that were destructive, scary, or unpleasant. To those who feel guilty they're healing because their past self wasn't ready.
Whatever it is, there is nothing wrong with any of those feelings. It's a natural reaction, something you don't have ultimate control over. There is nothing shameful about yourself, and I admire the strength it takes to recognize how you feel, even the parts that do feel like the "wrong" reaction to a Good Thing.
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sga-owns-my-soul · 2 months
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actually it's really offensive that i can't give rodney mckay a god complex
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maidragoste · 3 months
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and she may be his favorite daughter but not his favorite children because she is not Laenor 😭🔫
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mokeonn · 1 year
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yeah tell us about sean the ugly baby
okay so,
back in february I got bored and wanted to draw a character of mine from an rp group, but I didn't have any ideas. So I simply put him into the sims and drew what happened and posted it to the group. I chose Sims 2 for the variety, and went in. Making a 2000's version of my oc, Frankie, to do silly things for me to draw and my friends to giggle at:
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And it was silly and fun! But during this, he ended up getting abducted by aliens, which was absolutely hilarious at the time.
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However, in the sims series, there's an odd little thing that happens. Male sims that were abducted by aliens have a chance to come back pregnant. Well in the Sims 2: male sims were guaranteed to come back pregnant, only in later expansions did they introduce the possibility of it not happening.
So he got pregnant. whatever, just a bunch of mpreg jokes. Right? Well it turns out there's a small chance that Alien babies end up with their human parent's eyes! Which wouldn't be so bad with the base eyes, but I happen to use custom content.
So I was expecting this:
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and I got this:
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which was SO HORRIFYING and not what I was expecting. It took all my willpower to not name this baby something mean like "Beebo the Ugly child". So I named him Sean. Because that was the first non-mean name I could think of.
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Of course, my character loved and cared for him. After all, he was a kind person who would love his mpreg baby no matter how ugly he was.
I however, did not.
I hoped that he might just be an ugly baby, and that he'll grow out of it as he gets older.
He did not.
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he got UGLIER.
This horrifying Benjamin Button ass space creation haunted my home for 4 sim days. We prayed once again, that he was simply an ugly duckling. That he was simply going to grow into more age-appropriate features.
Sean once again, disappointed me.
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It was torture having to care for a sim I hated so much, but couldn't be cruel to because it was simply out of character for my ocs to hate him. Sean got treated with the utmost kindness. He got everything a child could hope for.
Didn't stop me from making jokes though.
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tainted-esau · 5 months
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Woa
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maegalkarven · 6 months
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Family matters.
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m!(trans)Dark Urge x Enver Gortash.
Brainworms finally got to me, I caved in and wrote a oneshot on the topic of "but what if Durge and Gortash had a child prior to all that mess"
Featuring my Dark Urge Levi, pre- and post- memory loss.
There was a living, breathing infant child in his arms; and for the first time in a long while Lord Enver Gortash was in complete loss at what to do.
“What is it?” fell rather flat down, a poor excuse of a question.
Leviathan rolled his eyes.
“A meaty flesh of some newly created life,” he huffed, visibly annoyed. “Also known as a child. I assume you’ve met their kind?”
Enver felt anger rise alongside with deeply rooted annoyance. Whatever spectacle the bhaalspawn decided to partake in, now was not the time for that. Neither it was the time for his witty itty remarks.
“I am well aware it’s a child,” he argued back just as sullenly, the said child held loosely in his arms. In his arms. Why was there a child in his arms? They were not made for holding babies.
“I’m asking why is it a child and why is it here. The questions any sane person in my place would indulge in.”
There was something...off about the bhaalspawn.
Not only Enver hadn’t seen the man for almost the entity of a year, an assassin always claiming some task of utmost importance, but now he decided to pop out of the thin air with a live child in a tow and immediately push said child into his, Enver Gortash’s, not so open arms.
It was alarming, to say the least.
“Oh, that,” Levi waved him off like it was a casual annoyance and not a conversation two adults, so-conspirers - partners - had. Like Gortash imposed himself into his free time and personal space and not the other way around. “It’s yours.”
It’s what?
“Or at least I assume it’s yours,” Leviathan followed as Enver’s thoughts came to a rapid halt. “Since I haven’t touched anyone alive but you in a long time. And look where it led me,” the look of pure disdain was all the child was getting, it seemed. “A freshly made meaty cage for a new soul. Disgusting. You’d think Father would make this shit stop and would not allow a child of banite to be born, but I guess any bhaalspawn is a good little pawn under his merciful gaze. Anyway,” a wild, excusing gesture of a hand. “I don’t have any use for this...thing. Sceleritas suggested to bring it into the fold and let my men do all the work, but well, the bother. So you can take it instead,” a winning smile what would work wonders if not for the whole absurdity of the situation Gortash just found himself in. “Think of it as of a gift. A proof of my loyalty to our cause, hm?”
Sometimes the bastard was more annoying than he was charming and his presence took a toll on the man.
Sometimes Enver wanted nothing more than to break Levi’s pretty slender neck.
That was one of these times.
“And what am I supposed to do with it?”
“Oh, whatever you want,” another wide, generous gesture. This asshole truly thought of that...child as if of a gift to be given away, didn’t he?
Enver shouldn’t have been surprised, not really, he knew Leviathan’s stance on children.
“Taste good, not much of use when alive, it’s funny when they die first” – was as good of a take as one could expect from the leader of the Cult of Murder.
“You can throw it away or feed it to the dogs. You can raise it or give it to a hag or even sell it to the devil,” another smile that’s more malicious than anything else. “I don't really care, if I'm being honest.”
Unfortunately, killing a bhaalspawn when you were holding just another bhaalspawn would prove to be close to impossible.
It would have to wait, and Leviathan Anchev still had his uses, bratty as he was.
And his appeal, as deadly as that ordeal proved to be. Or how complicated.
A child, huh? Well, Enver supposed every ruler needed an heir.
“Bring me the wizard,” was the first order out of his mouth when bhaalspawn left. The child was safely given into the care of the first competent older servant, who looked just as bewildered as Gortash himself felt. “Tell him to scan the...the-“
“The boy, my lord.”
“Right, tell the mage to scan the boy’s heritage. Let’s find who his parents are, shall we?”
Trusting a psycho murderer was an awful idea even at the safest of times, and now were not those. Levi would lie just to fuck with Enver. Levi had to lie, because there was no way this infant boy was actually his, Enver’s, flesh and blood.
***
Leviathan Anchev did not lie.
***
Levi moved away to sprawl his body across the bed, the creature of leisure he was. He sniffed the air and then wrinkled his nose, closer to an animal than any other person Gortash has ever known. More appealing in that, in his beast-like fluid grace.
“You still have this thing around,” the man commented, frowning. “Why? Playing the dollhouse? How...quant.”
“This thing has a name,” Enver couldn’t not parry. “Noah.”
Leviathan groaned.
“Oh, spare me the details; I want nothing to do with that flesh meat. Having to carry it inside my body for almost a year was a bother enough. Almost cut it out myself on multiple occasions, but Sceleritas insisted the internal damage I’d deal would be too great to handle. Idiot.” A moment of a thoughtful pause.
“You know what my destiny is, right?”
A searching gaze, reaching hands, clawed fingers cupping Enver’s cheeks almost gently. Something changed between them some time ago, but what it was Lord Gortash could not pinpoint. 
Yet something...Shifted.
Levi searching his face for some kind of acknowledgement was a sign of this.
Leviathan Anchev Enver first met would not care less about his approval. Leviathan Anchev of now was Enver’s nearest and dearest and it was pretty much a mutual kind of thing.
“I know.”
To kill everyone in the world and then himself. In Bhaal’s name. A gruesome fate, and pointless. Dull, lacking of any grandiose his, Enver’s, path had.
If only he could break off this deadly conviction in his dear ally, if only there was a way to make him stray out of this path...
They could be good for each other. They could rule together as the gods of the new age; glorious, undefeatable, perfect.
The rulers Toriel truly deserved.
“Then you know I’ll have to kill this...thing,” a moment of barely noticeable hesitation. “This... Noah.”
Enver also knew he would rather see his lover bleed on the altar of his dreadful father than let it happen.
“I do.”
“I,” another uncertain pause. “I was planning to leave you for last. To kill you and myself in one final blow; a perfect tribute to Father. But,” and really, those damn pauses were starting to get on Enver’s nerves. Levi was never short of words before, so what in the nine hells had happened? “Would you rather prefer I’d do you and...Noah... together? To kill you two in one blow?”
Ah.
Enver saw it for what it was, in the uncertain, searching gaze of his unlucky lover, in the carefulness with which he produced words.
Something warm flooded out the irritation from before; something warm and soft and entirely fragile.
It was mercy, the only kind of mercy the bhaalspawn could know. Leviathan Anchev, the man fully capable of destroying everyone and everything on his wake, offered him a tiny piece of his own surrender. A confirmation of his affections, almost a confession.
In some ways he did care.
“That would be very considerate of you, yes,” he agreed, bringing bhaalspawn close. His bhaalspawn, his ally, his lover. The father of his son.
If there was a way of bringing Bhaal down without bringing Levi with him, Enver would find and utilize it. Otherwise he’d have to kill the best partner in crime he has ever had.
And that would be...unfortunate.
Levi leaned into the touch, soft and gentle in a way he has never been before; almost fragile.
Trusting.
“Does it...know about me?” came out in a whisper, almost unbidden.
“He knows you exist,” was all the response Enver could give, enveloping his assassin into his arms, holding him closely, firmly, painfully so.
The bhaalspawn squirmed for a moment before finally settling in.
“Oh,” he breathed out. “I didn’t think you would...What you would tell him I do. Exist, I mean. I’d expect you’d spin a tale of some tragically dead wife or-“
“There is no tragically dead wife,” Enver cut off, feeling rather irritated. A mystery of complications, his dear murderer. “Only a lunatic of a murderer for a father. Not what Noah knows that, he knows we’re working together and what you’re a very busy man.”
“Hmph,” Levi’s breath brushed Enver’s neck. “I guess that is true.”
“Do you want to,” and now it was his time to be a hesitant bother. “Meet him?
At that Leviathan actually laughed.
“Oh, absolutely not, keep him and that strange dollhouse of yours as far away from me as possible. I have things to do, people to kill, empires to rule. I don’t have time for meat-things, of my own creation or not.”
And just like that, it was as if nothing has changed.
***
The alarm goes off the moment Karlach finishes the last of the Hands and flies into a wall by the force of the explosive detonating right into her face.
Enver doesn’t stop to register that, or to look around at the bodies of his faithful, to mourn his perfectly constructed plans – his watch, the Iron Throne, the little fireworks shop – because the alarm in Noah’s private chambers went off and it only means one thing.
Intruders.
He skips one step at the time climbing up the steep steps to the higher, more private level.
Could that be the remaining of Orin’s assassins?
Levi said he dispatched of them all, but surely some had to survive by the sheer luck of not being in the temple at the moment. Are those Ravengard’s forces, Florrick’s?
Is it Leviathan, finally coming to sniff out the life he himself created?
He is vaguely aware of the younger Ravengard and the pale elf taking the chase after him, of Karlach joining in.
They think he is escaping.
Idiots.
Enver tries not to think what he is leading the enemies right to his son; he’ll deal with them later. Right now there’s blazing alarm shrieking what something is wrong – and indeed it is, as he discovers with the first body lying dead on the floor. Then the second. Then the third.
All of them – with their throats ripped open, Leviathan’s favorite style.
Enver turns the corner and reaches for the door handle – the door is unlocked and half open: this is bad, bad, bad-
Then he hears a laughter and pauses.
He opens the door slowly and carefully instead of throwing it open as he intended at first.
And sees...
Levi is sitting cross-legged on the floor, leaning slightly forward.
Across of him, sitting in the exact same – ridiculous – pose sits the boy not older than five. He has a dark messy hair, blazing green eyes what betray his nature, and the new game Gortash brought to him just recently. He is trying to explain the rules to the tiefling in front of him, who listens attentively, nodding here and there.
“Wow,” Leviathan Anchev comments with an air of nonchalance he didn’t have before. “I did not understand a thing. But good for you, lil one, good for you.”
“It’s really not that difficult,” Noah insists. “I can teach you! We can play together.”
Enver steps closer, somehow is still not detected neither by his son nor by his...his what?
Karlach almost crashes into the doorframe after him, but somehow manages to steady herself, takes in the view in front of her – and freezes.
So do the other two of Levi’s unruly companions. Gortash especially doesn’t like the pale one; he has a habit of sticking way closer to the bhaalspawn than it is proper.
“I am not that good at these kinds of games,” Levi admits as his tail flips from side to side and nostrils flare; he has detected him. Probably smelled before sensing. “But I have a friend with a real knack for them. He is a wizard and knows a lot of fun things; I think you’d get along.”
Noah looks uncertain.
“Are you sure?” he looks down. “I don’t think...I’m not allowed outside.”
“Really? And why is that?”
“Well,” the boy fidgets with his game. “Father says people who oppose him would try to use me against him, if they knew I existed. So I am kind of...a secret? It’s for my own safety!” he immediately adds, seeing Leviathan’s face blank out. “There’s a murderer on the loose, she really doesn’t like father despite supposedly working with him. Father says she will kill me if she finds out I exist.”
“Oh,” Levi looks taken aback at that. “I don’t think you need to worry about that anymore. If you’re talking about who I think you’re talking about, then she has been dealt with already.”
“Oh!” Noah brightens. “By whom?”
“By me. But say,” the spawn looks quizzically at the child in front of him, frowning slightly. “Is it just your father and you? Where’s your mother?”
“I don’t have one,” and this is definitely the moment then Enver needs to intervene, but he is just...frozen in place, turned to stone.
Leviathan Anchev he knew hated children.
This Leviathan Anchev is talking to a child as it was his best friend.
“I have a dad though!” Noah is a sweet fool, Enver taught him much better than telling complete strangers his entire life’s story. Stop. Talking. “He is...working a lot and is too busy to visit,” the boy looks down gloomily. “But! He and father are very close; they even stole from the devil together!”
Levi blinks. Then blinks once more. Then again.
“The devil, you say?” and is it just Gortash’s imagination, but did the man’s voice just rise up an octave?
“Yes! And not just any devil, the achdevil Mephistopheles!” Noah looks so absurdly proud of that it hurts. “They snuck right into his home, stole a crown from his vault and returned here. Unspotted, unstopped. Victorious.”
“What the fuck?” Karlach lets out and both the boy and the bhaalspawn who created him turn to the door.
Noah’s face immediately brightens.
“Father!” he exclaims, hastily getting to his feet and rushing to him. Behind the boy Levi gives the man the most bewildered stare he has ever seen.
“You have a child!” young Ravengard speaks out with the accusation in his voice. Enver really isn’t sure whom the man is addressing.
Noah is unperturbed.
“Father, I met a really cool guy, his name is Levi and he must be your friend because he came here with no problem at all; and he has children at his camp, two girls named Yenna and Arabella. Arabella is a druid because she stole the idol of Sylvanus and it gave her powers, and Yenna has a cat! But the cat is anxious so I shouldn’t pet it, but I can look at it! Please, can I look at Yenna’s cat? Levi said the evil murderer is dealt with, so it’s probably safe. And Levi can guard me if needed. Also there’s a vampire spawn in his camp and-“
The pale elf coughs.
“Hello there,” he tries, pulling a not entirely convincing smile up his lips. “A vampire spawn speaking. And you would be...”
“I am Noah!” says Noah right away; and did Enver shelter him too much? Damn, he has sheltered him too much. Look at the boy, he wants to befriend a vampire spawn. “I’m the son of the Archduke! Hello.”
“Yes, hi,” the elf looks at Levi uncertainly and back. “So...”
“So,” the bhaalspawn steps forward, the bewildered look stuck to his face. He crouches down to Noah’s level and takes his hands into his calloused and clawed ones. “So Noah...Your dad is the man who helped your father to steal the crown from the devil, is that right?”
Noah nods vigorously and Enver takes his time to observe the scene; the two bhaalspawns in front of each other, Levi’s posture, his relaxed shoulders, his slightly shaking hands. The tail that seems to have a life on its own and moves agitatedly behind its owner.
Three companions of the bhaalspawn, all somewhat stuck in place, with different levels of surprise stitched up their faces. The pale elf – a step closer, almost lingering at Leviathan’s side. Annoying.
Yet somehow, no matter how hard Gortash looks at it, he doesn’t sense any danger. Doesn’t see it, even with Karlach still aflame by the doorframe.
“Yep,” Noah agrees eagerly. “I wish he’d come to meet me soon. He will come, right? Once the work is done and all,” the boy sighs. “I mean, I am his son, surely he would care to come to meet me.”
“Um,” the tiefing looks uncertain. “And what if...something happened to him? What if he, say, lost his memories?”
“How? Did something hit him in the head?”
The vampire spawn chokes on a laugh and Levi rolls his eyes at him.
“Sure,” he agrees. “Let’s call it that. So...what if he doesn’t...exactly remember having you?”
“You mean if he’s lost and doesn’t know he needs to come back?”
“Something like that.”
“Well, I guess I’d come looking for him. He is my other father. It’s important.”
The force of conviction behind these words hits harder than a thunderwave.
Leviathan blinks hard, clears his throat, and then-
“You...don’t have to. I don’t remember much about my life before...certain events, but it was made adamantly clear to me I was the one to break into the Mephistopheles’ vault with your father. And if your dad is who did that, then,” he stops. “Then I guess- Enver, are you really just going to stand here like a fucking statue? Tell me if this is what I think it is or not.”
“You swore!”
“No, the fuck, I did not. Enver-“
“Now you swore twice!”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake-“
“So,” Gortash steps forward, a lazy smile dancing on his lips. Gods only know how much this smile costs him. “You have known your son for the entirety of twenty minutes and already taught him a swear word. Really impressive.”
“Father?”
“Oh, listen here, you poignant prick-“
This, Enver thinks, is what family feels like.
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bitacrytic · 7 months
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Seeing how these men treat smoking with such reverence and intimacy, I can understand how insulting it was for Semi's "husband" to try to light Gicheol's cigerette.
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He was like, "the fuck you think you're doing?"
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mod2amaryllis · 1 month
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who else haunted by an apology you never got the chance to make???? 🤪🤪🤪
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doll-elvis · 10 months
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Elvis was shopping at kerr’s sporting goods in 1974 when he noticed a cameraman snapping photos without asking, prompting Elvis to get very angry (as he should)
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David Stanley on the incident: “Elvis could have a tremendous temper and in that moment he wanted to kill that guy”
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oldwomanyuri123 · 9 days
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Collection of Herbie doodles……
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antisocialxconstruct · 11 months
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meet single eldritch insects in your area
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spectrum-color · 9 months
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One of the most frustrating things for me in Tawny Man (and honestly beyond) is how Fitz acts like he was victimized by Burrich in him marrying Molly and raising Nettle as part of their family.
He refuses to acknowledge that it is primarily his own fault, because he refused to accept their marriage or let Molly exist in his life as anything other than his idealized mommy-wife, so he let them believe that he was dead until he had no choice. He also won’t pin any blame on Molly because he doesn’t want to risk the fantasy of his dream girl who will fix all of his problems and replace what he lost when he was abandoned to the Farseers as they live happily ever after in a pastoral nuclear family. That leaves Burrich as the villain who stole his family from him, because that allows him to deflect the consequences of his own choices onto a more convenient target (it also means he doesn’t have to really think about the way Burrichs attempts to instill shame and fear over his Wit were abusive because he can redirect the anger he feels over it toward a safer topic.) Burrich was the closest thing Fitz ever had to a father but he doesn’t even bother to mourn him when he dies because he’s too busy relentlessly pursuing his widow against her wishes in an attempt to relive his adolescence.
It is all very believable and true to Fitz’s character (he is often a victim, but he also leans on that as a crutch so he doesn’t have to take responsibility or own up to his decisions,) but oh my god it is so so annoying.
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pathetic-gamer · 3 months
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Too late, you Menstruate now
me, receiving this ask:
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