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talkorsomething · 1 month

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Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................

Well, it's only half related.

We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.

I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...

I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.

Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?

Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.

November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?

There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.

I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.

...push it back down.

Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.

It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.

I don't know you.

I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?

Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.

It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.

I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.

... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.

I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.

...

I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.

I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.

Will someone just let me say that?

Will someone just fucking help for once?

#sh tw #(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ #im cursed with being a bit too self aware so #i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things #(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER #BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM #back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat #[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything #so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend #so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice #i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together #(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING

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pandaswitch · 11 months

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hihii im here to request for demon slayer please. Can I get some headcannons for when the reader is held hostage by a demon 😨 what will the hashiras do

Where’s my love?

➠ Summary: After days of no response from you, the hashiras are informed of how you were kidnapped by a demon.

➠ Type: Headcannons.

➠ Genre: Angst/Fluff

Damn, it took me a while to write this for no reason. I didn't put Gyomei because i didn't feel inspired. 😭

Tomioka Giyuu

Poor man.

He was already having no sleep because of how worried he was.

Starts cold sweating as soon as his crow says your name.

Like, he gets so anxious.

“How could I let that happen? I was supposed to protect them.”

If you’re a demon slayer he can somehow calm down.

After all, those are the risks of this job.

BUT IF YOU’RE A CIVILIAN.

Oh, poor Giyuu, he feels so guilty.

He knows the demon probably just kidnapped you because of him.

So, after saving you, he just wants to take a step back and get out of your life.

Well, he doesn’t want to.

But he would do everything for you to be safe.

Kocho Shinobu

Girly goes into killer mode.

How does that demon to even touch you?

She. Is. Pissed.

Before heading out to look for you, she takes the cruelest poison she can find so the demon dies slowly and horribly.

My girl is playing no games.

Now all her time is put into finding where you are.

When she does, it takes her a while to acknowledge you.

She’s too busy making that bitch of a demon suffer.

After the demon is finally dead, she turns around and looks at you with a gentle smile.

“Hello darling”

I’m scared of this woman.

But I love her so much.

Rengoku Kyojuro

His smile drops suddenly.

“How? When? Where?”

He can’t think about anything else, he just wants to save you.

He doesn’t even care if he’s still injured from his last mission.

That man IS saving you, it doesn’t matter if Muzan himself is the one that is holding you hostage.

Thank God it isn’t Muzan lmao.

When he finally finds you, he can’t help but sigh in relief that you’re okay.

“Hello Beloved! :D”

And after slaying the demon, he carries you home bridal style.

He just wants you to be close. <3

Uzui Tengen + wives.

Tengen was the one who got the news.

“How unflashy”

Not you ofc.

He’s talking about the demon.

I genuinely think he would be like:

“They’re one of my partners, they can handle that.”

And realize that it’s more serious when it had been 3 days and you still haven’t come back.

And when Makio starts berating him so he will go and look for you.

LMAO.

So, he comes to the rescue.

Oh boy, when he finds you, he talks way too much to the demon.

Maybe because he knows it won’t take him too much time to kill it.

He kind of feels guilty when he sees your wounds, meaning that you fought back, even without a katana.

“You did it well, I wouldn’t have expected less from you.”

Just like Rengoku, he carries you all the way home bridal style.

When you two get home Suma, Makio, and Hinatsuru totally focus on you.

Hot bath, your favorite food, they basically just take care of you.

Suma braids your hair while Hinatsuru caresses your face and Makio is asking questions.

Tengen feels his heart warm at the sight.

Just there he allows himself to think what would’ve had happen if he hadn’t come in time.

Oh.

Now he’s holding the four of you tightly.

He’s just a big-ass baby.

Kanroji Mitsuri

She’s trying her best not to cry.

She knows she must handle this situation quickly, and there’s no time for her to cry.

Probably starts looking out for you on the spot.

If you asked her, she would drop a mission just to save you.

All serious and determined.

But probably she just completed her mission faster, without any distractions and left right after it.

MY WOMAN JUST SKIPPED LUNCH TO SAVE YOU.

This girl is going to find you, it doesn't matter how hard it is.

And she does, killing the demon takes her a little while but she does it without injuries.

AND THEN.

She turns around and looks at you with teary worried eyes.

SHE’S A BABY.

Runs to you and hugs you tightly.

“WAHH, I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU”

People would have thought you were the one who saved her.

Tokito Muichiro

“Who?”

Okay, just kidding.

His memory is not that bad at this point.

He stays there for a second, looking into the void.

All the possible plans run through his mind.

What is he going to do?

When he comes back to reality, he realizes that he’s hyperventilating.

The only time someone he loves that much has been in such a dangerous situation was when his twin died.

“Okay, calm down.”

He’s a hashira, isn’t he?

He is supposed to protect you.

That’s the only thing that matters.

And he does, he spends 24 hours straight looking for you, with no break.

When he finally finds you and the demon, he slays it fast and tries his best not to lose control of his emotions.

When he kneels in front of you, he doesn’t say anything.

He just starts caressing your face, a small and relieved smile on his face.

He’s so glad you’re okay.

Shinazugawa Sanemi

If I was scared of Shinobu.

I’M FUCKING TERRIFIED OF THIS MAN.

He goes WILD.

Looks for you like crazy, probably shaking out of anger.

He probably cut a few trees while on the way to where he thought you could be.

And by cut, I mean he punched them until his knuckles were bleeding.

When he finds the place, he has no mercy.

Like, he takes his time.

He doesn’t even cut the demon’s neck.

He has been torturing it all night.

But how does it dare to touch his beloved partner?

And when the sunrise arrives, he drags it out, so the sun burns it.

After a while, he comes back and carries you on piggyback.

“Don’t ever do that again, idiot.”

Iguro Obanai

Just like Giyuu, he starts blaming himself.

“This wouldn’t have happened if I was worthy of them.”

But more in an internal rage kind of way.

First of all, he takes his time to break stuff.

He isn't usually violent but he can't help but be furious at himself.

Poor Kakushi had to clean his state.

It doesn't take him long to find your location.

He makes it fast, the demon was talking when he cutted his neck.

Obanai doesn't wanna know its reasons, he just wants you to be okay.

He doesn't say a word, he just caresses your face, checking if you're hurt.

He takes you home, it doesn't matter if you can walk he is just going to carry you.

"I'm sorry" that's the only words you're gonna hear from him in a while.

#giyuu tomioka x reader #obanai iguro x reader #sanemi shinazugawa x reader #muichiro tokito x reader #kocho shinobu x reader #rengoku kyoujurou x reader #kanroji mitsuri x reader #reader insert #demon slayer #uzui tengen x reader

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talaok · 7 months

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ok first of all, I love your writing!!! a scenario just popped into my head and I found it so funny, the reader and Pedro have been dating for some time, Pedro doesn't want to have children but you were always good with children and after a children's party you went together and he realized (or thought) that you were strange when interacting with the children (which would be just tiredness) made him nervous and anxious thinking that you were frustrated because you wanted children and he didn't, during the night he can barely sleep and that means he gets up early and being impatient waiting for you to wake up, and at the first sign that you are waking up the first thing he says is: be honest, do you want to have children? and the reader is confused like dude it’s 7 am wtf??? I leave her answer and the end up to you and your incredible imagination, kisses 💋

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x reader

a/n: no bc bestie I genuinely love this idea so much like omg im sorry if i didn't do it justice but tomorrow im getting some very fucking important news and my mind is a bit all over the place

"Auntie!"

Your beaming niece ran to you as soon as soon as you stepped into the backyard.

"There's the birthday girl!" you grinned, picking Nora up to give her a tight hug

"I missed you!" she squealed, as her small arms reached around your neck "You never visit anymore"

You snorted "Did your mom tell you to say that?"

The way your sister was biting down a grin told you all you needed to know.

"no" she mumbled, making you huff a laugh.

Your sister was raising the perfect actress.

"Well aren't you miss popular?" you gasped, looking around at all the children running around the place "These all your friends?" you asked, as she turned to follow your gaze

"yep" she nodded proudly "I basically know every kid at school"

"well there's something you didn't take from your mom..." you joked, raising your eyebrows at your sister

"hey!" she shot you a look

"I'm just saying" you shrugged "I don't remember your birthday parties being this big"

"oh shut up, you're one to talk" she rolled her eyes.

"hi Pedro!" Nora noticed him as he walked into the backyard with your sister's husband.

"hi Nora" he smiled, walking closer

"Is it your fault that y/n never visits anymore?"

Pedro was very much taken aback by the bluntness, but all you could do was chuckle.

"oh my god, I'm so sorry" your sister intervened, taking her daughter from you "Here why don't you go play with your friends?" she suggested, making her comply immediately.

"I swear I didn't tell her to say that" she promised, looking as mortified as she sounded.

"I know Alice" you grinned "don't worry"

"I'm sorry Pedro" she turned to him nonetheless.

"It's fine" he smiled that charming smile of his

"Nora's just very..."

"Exuberant" her husband finished the sentence for her

"yes, exactly" she nodded

You laughed softly "That's definitely one way to put it"

The next hour was spent chatting at one of the tables Jeremy, your sister's husband, had set up on the lawn, and as you talked and ate, and drank more champagne than water the tiredness started to really make itself heard.

The flight from LA to Washington was six hours and a half, so you had to travel during the night, and as much as you wanted to sleep during it, you never were able to do so on planes.

So you were basically only running on coffee, and not even the good kind, no, the shitty airport one.

A tug at your hand brought you out of your own thoughts.

"Auntie!" your niece was saying

"sorry" you smiled down at her, setting your glass down "What's up sweetie?"

"come play Simon says!"

You had to fight the urge to groan. The last thing you wanted to do right now was to play a game with a bunch of screaming children.

"right now?" you asked

"Yes"

"but-"

"c'mooon," Nora moaned, jumping up and down a bit "I want you to meet my friends"

You sighed slightly as you stood up

"lead the way birthday girl"

And as you disappeared behind a tree, dragged by your own niece, Pedro couldn't help but think

That was weird

And that same thought continued making its way into his mind over and over again.

You've never hesitated when it came to playing with Nora, you loved that kid so much you would have given her the world on a silver platter had she just said the word.

You weren't constantly taking pictures of her because you "wanted to remember every single moment with her" as you insisted every time, you weren't smiling every time you just looked at her either, and you weren't even entertaining the kids like you always did.

Fuck, Jacob and Alice used to tease you every time saying that they didn't need entertainers for her parties when you were there, that's how good you were with children.

Not that today you weren't good with them, Pedro could see and hear the laughs you'd elicit from the small crowd, but still, he couldn't shake off the feeling that something was wrong... and that he had something to do with it.

You were asleep beside him, and he didn't know if it was because you were in your sister's guest room and not in your own bedroom, or if was because guilt was clawing at him from within, but as much as he tried to sleep, his body opposed to it.

He was looking at you... so peaceful, so pretty, so beautiful and all he could feel was guilty.

He had racked his brain as to why you were acting weird for hours and then finally, thirty minutes ago he'd finally got it.

It was his fault

Of course, it was.

The only thing that had changed since you last saw Nora, was that talk you'd had that day at the park.

God, he was so goddamn stupid.

"Another reason as to why I don't want children"

He'd said it so casually too, as a stupid joke, like it was nothing, without even thinking that maybe that's not what you wanted, that maybe he was ruining everything.

And now he'd fucked everything up, and panic was rising in his chest so fast that he worried in mere minutes he was gonna go into cardiac arrest.

And yes you'd told him you didn't want children too, but maybe you just said it because that's what he said and you probably hated him and-

Fuck were you ever gonna wake up?

he had thought about doing it himself but then realized how bad of an idea that was when he was halfway into shaking your arm.

He needed to talk to you. Now.

He needed to know, and to beg you, and to tell you to forget all about what he said at the park because it all went flying out the window when it was about you and-

Your eyelids fluttered, and shit but for a moment he pondered the existence of a god.

A whimper left your mouth as you readjusted your head on the pillow and he couldn't hold it anymore.

"Be honest"

Your eyes flew open in shock as your heart skipped a beat.

"Holy fucking- Jesus!" you breathed "You scared me, Pedro"

"Do you want children?"

Your eyes widened even more as your features filled with confusion

"What the actual f-"

"I know that I said that I don't want kids, and I know that you agreed with me, but if that's not really what you want or if- if you changed your mind I want you to know that I-"

You propped yourself on your elbows to get a better look at him.

Was he fucking high or something?

"Pedro first of all it's..." you trailed off, glancing at your phone and groaning when you read the numbers on the screen "Oh my god" you sighed, running a hand down the length of your face "and second of all, what are you talking about baby?" you sighed, your voice softening as you took in his worried face for the fist time since you'd opened your eyes.

He took your hand in his

"I'm talking about the fact that I take it back- that if you want to have children then I'm sure I can make it work, that I love you y/n, and I don't want to lose you and that-"

"lose me?" you frowned, trying to squint your sleep away "Children?" you shook your head, trying to make some sense of what was going on "Pedro I- I'm sorry I thought we'd agreed neither of us wanted children?"

"Yes, but I understand if you've changed your mind"

"Why would I have changed my mind?" you asked, sitting up "Where is this coming from?"

"I just-" he looked like a sad puppy with those big brown eyes of his "You were acting weird today at the birthday and I couldn't help but think that-"

"That I wanted children?" you smiled, doing a poor job of hiding your amusement

"Well...yes"

"oh my god" you breathed, moving some messy hair out of your face "I was tired baby" you explained with a grin "I didn't sleep for shit on the plane and I wasn't exactly feeling like running around kids like I usually do"

Now was his turn to frown

"Really?"

"yes!"

"O-Oh"

"yeah, oh" you shook your head, still unable to get rid of the smile on your lips.

"Well this is embarrassing" he let out a low huff "I just... I don't know-"

you sat up to get closer to him as you inspected his face.

"Oh baby," you cooed, stroking his cheek "Did you even sleep?"

"I tried to"

Your lips pulled into a sorry tilt as you intertwined your arms behind his neck.

"I don't want children baby" you said "I love our life exactly as it is"

"I'm sorry" he murmured

"No don't be" you shook your head, letting your forehead meet with his "It was kind of sweet to be honest" you beamed, leaving a quick kiss on his lips

"Did you really mean it? that you'd have children if that's what I wanted?"

And when he looked at you now, you felt as if he was staring right into your soul.

"Sweetheart" he murmured "I'm not sure there's anything on this earth I wouldn't do for you"

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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AITA for telling mom to stop giving me unhealthy food and then refusing to say "I love you" back?

I (16, FtM) am autistic, for the longest time I struggled with eating different types of foods, in fact, i only started eating vegetables when I was 16 because my nutritionist told me to. Since I have memory, i've been teased by my weight, all my life. It led me to make decisions i'm not very proud of (like getting groomed at 8-9 years old), because of my low self esteem.

I've gone to the nutritionist a total of 2 times in my life, but in my opinion i should've gone more but my parents didn't seem to think the same. Both of those times the doctors told me I was a little overweight. They didn't tell me i was obese or morbidly obese which thank god because I would've broken down and kms (not really but even thinking of getting told that makes me anxious).

They did tell me to start eating more food other than fried food and other type of stuff. After the meeting, my parents started scolding me for embarrassing them in front of the doctor, but all i did was being brutally honest with her! I told her how my parents keep buying flavored water which has at least 2 stamps in it (The government makes it so that companies have to put stamps on their products saying what's exactly in it), so the only source of natural water is the one we boil ourselves, which i drink every time i do exercise. And also how the dinner mom makes is sausages and french fries, it's quick and easy. This last week I've eating that dinner two times and on the weekend i ate fast food for lunch, on Saturday and Sunday which means TWICE. By the end I was so worried i might have to double my exercise next week (so now) to balance it off. I felt really fat on monday so uh not a good feeling.

For my part, I've had this discussion with my P.E teacher, and she agreed to make me play basketball more so i can both exercise at home and more at school other than P.E class. I've also done the effort of eating vegetables (which due to my autism it was very hard at first but I've gotten the hang of it!) And doing more exercise at school.

But even when mom agreed to start feeding me more healthy foods, it's like she gave up. She's gone back to giving me the same lazy foods that are filled with cholesterol and grease, and every time i eat those it makes me feel worried. Tonight was one of those dinners and all i want is to get it out of my system (literally).

I told mom she can't keep feeding me like this if she wants me to lose weight, and she responds by saying "but what can we feed you? You don't eat anything else" which? Fucking excuse me? WHAT DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST MONTHS??? She always says that, it's like whenever i eat entire salads she fucking ignores me or something! It makes me feel so angry, fuck my efforts i guess???

I got more angry, but she's my mom, so i decided to shut up. Since i was getting ready to bed once i got comfortable she told me "I love you", which is a normal habit we have every time i go to bed. She says "i love you" i say it back. But this time I didn't, and she just sighed and closed the door.

Right now i'm really mad at her, but i recognize that maybe not saying "I love you" back was a bit too much, but if i have to stop saying it at all for her to understand I want to lose weight, then so be it. If she doesn't want to recognize im the only one doing the effort, whatever. I'm thinking of starting to refuse her food to make myself clear.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #eating disorder cw

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oneshlut · 6 months

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Hey!! I absolutely ADORE your writing, it makes me so happy!!! I happen to be a sucker for our favorite nerd, and you write super good for him! May i ask for general datting headcanons? Like what its like to date him???? Thank you!!!<3

A/N: ohhh, i was WAITING for this one!! i loveee dating hcs. i'm assuming you mean dr. flug, in which i am always happy to write for him! thank you so much for the request! im so happy you enjoy my works!! c: (also flug may be just a teensy bit autism-coded...)

The Doctor Is Out (Dr. Flug x Reader) [Headcanons]

Rules For Requesting

Characters I Will Write For

Masterlist

Summary: General Dr. Flug dating headcanons/What is dating Dr. Flug like?

You thought he was a nervous wreck before? You've never seen him on a date. Before a date, for that matter.

After asking you out to a museum that recently opened outside the Hat Island, he dragged himself to his room and.. screamed into his pillow. Leaving 5.0.5. decently concerned.

He paced around his lab, wracked with anxiety. Oh god, oh god--what is he going to do?! Did he still look alright?? He paused his anxious strides to look at himself in his full-body mirror that he practically pulled out of nowhere. I guess he looked alright-? Or did he need to change his shirt again? Oh--crap he should probably take off his gloves.. or should he? He's always had normally sweaty hands, not including his nerves getting the best of him.. Yeah, the gloves are staying on.

Not to mention how Demencia is teasing him every minute she gets while Flug is writing out a plan. Yeah, you heard me right, this faceless man has an entire 24-step written plan for this date. He can't go without a plan, right? He doesn't want to mess up in front of you, either..

Some ridiculous, unreasonable, irrational part of him thinks maybe you won't show up. Obviously, he doesn't know any better to know how much you love him. Then again, if he knew, I don't think he'd last.

The museum went way better than he expected! There just happened to be a jet plane exhibit, and suddenly his 24-step plan has made its way to a nearby trash can. Don't get me wrong, his nerves were definitely still there, and not going anywhere anytime soon. He was just glad that he didn't draw you away with his possibly unending rambling about different types of aircraft.

The two of you stayed in the museum until it closed at 4 p.m. The time seemed to fly by, and at some point during the date you had held his hand. Poor Flug was too distracted, that he only noticed your interlocked hands when the both of you were leaving the building. He's blushing like a maniac now. As if the red tint on his face couldn't get any worse, before you left, you kissed him on his cheek. You kissed him on his cheek. His bones turned to ice, frozen in place. Later that night, he couldn't get his mind off of you. He's not washing his bag for a while. Not like he washed it in the first place.

So, you two are dating! In a relationship! Dr. Flug refuses to believe it, but every morning kinda forces him to. Though, sometimes he gets a bit overwhelmed with the attention, so when this happens, you give him the day to compose himself again.

He's happy with the attention, though! More than happy, he's honestly never received such affection before and.. he enjoys it.

Some days, you'll just have hang-out dates! For example, Dr. Flug is undergoing a heavy project and asks you to come over for comfort. He'll even ask you for help with his experiments from time to time! Don't worry, he wouldn't involve you in anything too dangerous, he's not cruel. Well, not to you..

If we're talking about Dr. Flug here, at least one date has to go wrong. Thankfully, it's almost never his fault. He's, unfortunately, slightly popular with heroes. Not that he, himself, as a villain is popular, but rather him being known under the Blackhat name has drawn in some unwanted attention from heroes.

What does this mean for the two of you? Well, worst case scenario, a hero has such a huge grudge against Flug that they are determined to ruin your date. According to Dr. Flug, there's only a 1.117% chance of this happening, so you shouldn't have to worry too much.

Afterwards, he feels horrible that your date went to crap. He apologizes profusely, even if you forgive him in the first place, he'll continue to feel bad. All he wants is for you to be happy, and it feels like he's failed you. But the fact that you're still here with him is more than enough proof that you're far from giving up on him, if ever.

On days where you would stay inside with him, whether it be a stormy night or just a long day for you, sometimes he'd turn around from whatever he was working on when you don't respond to him, and he'll find you resting peacefully next to 5.0.5. The sight warms his heart, as he moves to grab a blanket for you, and dims the lights in his lab slightly.

With you asleep, and now with him and nothing to work on, he now has time to think. And for some reason, no thoughts come to him. Surprising to his usually busy brain.

One thought came to him, eventually. Watching you rest soundly in the now dim-lighted room, your chest lifting up and down with your soft breaths, made him realize how lucky he truly is.

Then, he came up with an idea. He didn't want your dreaming to be disturbed, did he? He grabbed a piece of notepaper, tape, and a marker. Opening his door slightly, he taped up the scratch-made sign titled:

"The Doctor is Out"

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starsomens · 7 months

Note

Star hello! Im so sorry about the test love :( there will always be the next one!

how about one where Noah and Y/N have a big argument and hurtful words are tossed, etc. so reader leaves and as reader leaves the house she goes

"Oh and just so you know what I was annoying you about" and she tosses him a test "im pregnant!" and slams the door

now you go 👀

OOOOO I have not done ANY angst here! Here we go!

warnings: language, arguing,

"you can't keep doing this shit Y/N!" he begins to raise his voice

"Oh my god Noah grow the fuck up! It was goddamn mistake" you said as you slump into one of the kitchen chairs

"It's not a fucking mistake when you do the same shit over and over." he his hand comes down on to the counter "it's so fucking annoying and you wonder why I stay at the studio all fucking day"

"I don't know maybe with some other girls you meet or something" you fire back, not really meaning it but wanting to fire back just as hard

"right, right. Because you're annoying ass has to know what and who I'm with constantly" he turned his back and walked away from you " 'Cause if that's how you feel why the fuck are we even together?" he didn't mean that either, he just wanted to get back at your comment

"Fine." you push yourself out of the chair and head upstairs. Noah following you behind just a few steps away "Y/N what are you do?"

You didn't answer and just started stuffing a backpack you had with your essentials. You grab your charger and push past him and head down the stairs

"Don't just ignore me Y/N, come on" he said trying to reach for your arm. Maybe he was a bit too harsh with his words. He didn't mean any of what he said. You grab your keys and open the door

"I'm going to Y/B/N's, I don't know how long I'll be there but if you really think we shouldn't be together here's your chance to confirm that" you said opening the door.

"Y/N, baby wait I didn't-"

"Oh and if you're wondering what I was so annoying about today," you throw a plastic bag at him, it hits his chest and he catches it before it hits the ground. "I'm pregnant." you slam the door out of frustration. He stood there frozen for way too long just staring at the test in his hand before his legs finally move to go after you.

"Y/N! Wait! Come on let's talk about this!" but he was too late you started the car and backed up out of the drive way and drove down the road "Fuck! Why did I say that?!" he goes back inside and the house is quiet without you there. He takes out one of the tests and just looks at it. He falls on to the couch and really lets it set in

"...I'm gonna be a dad..." he slight chuckle escapes his lips "She's...we're gonna be parents." he pulls out his phone and calls Nick.

"yeah?"

"..Nick I fucked up." Noah confesses with a bite to his bottom lip "Could you meet me here when you can?"

"I'll be there in 10"

Make sure about his door no explains what was happening and the newfound news and Nick, being his best friend gave it to him straight

“ yeah, you fucked up”

“ yeah I’m already aware of that. How am I gonna fix that ? she’s pissed off at me.” Nick flicks his forehead and looks at him dead in the eye

” All I’m going to say is you got yourself into this mess. She’s pregnant and the last thing either of you need is for her to be stressed right now. Do you know where her friend lives?”

“ yeah, I’ve picked her up there a couple of times”

“ come on we got a few stops to make before we go and get her” Nick said, grabbing his car keys motioning to the door with his head. It was safe to say Noah had taken some time picking the right things and reciting the right things in his head.

Which was why your best friend had to answer an anxious door bell at around 1:20 am.

“Haven’t you done enough damage?” You friend asked crossing her arms at him, she may like him but whenever he fucks up with you, he also fucks up with her.

“Look i know. I was wrong I just…..I need to talk to her. Please” he really didn’t want to argue and wanted to see you and talk to you. She lets out a huff and calls for you to come over. You come into view with your arms crossed and no emotion on your face. There stood your boyfriend with a large bouquet of flowers, and a stuffed animal in his other hand. with a bag hanging from his hand full of treats he knows you love. You step aside, signaling for him to come. inside. You close the door and your. friend leads into her room to give you both privacy. Noah's sets down the bag on the coffee table and looks at you with his pleading eyes

"I'm...sorry baby." he starts " I didn't mean anything I said. You never annoy me, ever. You're the one person that's constantly checking on me, even when you tell me to take a break I'll still sit there for hours You are never knowing And you know I'm always open to you and you can ask me any question you'd like. There is no one else for me except for you and. now....them." He said as his eyes dart down to your stomach and back up to your eyes.

"Noah.... Maybe you're right. maybe I was being a little too pushy, and I should trust you more knowing that you wouldn't do something like that to me. I was just a little nervous to tell you the news And I didn't know how you'd react hearing it..." you sniff looking away from him

"Oh baby no...don't apologize" he said setting the rest of the stuff down and bringing you into his hold "This was all my fault. I shouldn't have snapped like that you don't deserve that...neither of you" he tested the waters and pulls back to look down at your none existent bump. His thumb grazing over your hips

"Look if you still need time to calm down or just need the space I can come back-" you shake your head and take his hands in yours

"...Lets go home" you gave his hands a squeeze. He grabs your bags and any extra items and didn't let you carry anything even if you offered. Once you were at the car he accommodated your items. He turns to you. He looked like he wanted to say something but opted for just a simple hug and kiss to your lips

"I'm sorry princess. Let's get you both home" he smiles softly and opens the door for you. He gets into the drivers seat and takes you home where you belonged. With him.

「✨Taglist✨」 @lilhobgobbler @cncohshit @vir-tual @tdopomymind @concretenoah @misspygmypie @purple-lili @itsmrsfuentes @fvckmeorchokeme @lust-for-sacher @thescarlettvvitch @cind6547 @ima1986

#bad omens #noah sebastian #star’s anons✨#bad omens fanfiction #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens cult #noahsebastian

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twiixr4kidz · 2 years

Note

one last request…. as a follow up 2 da evil exes + Scott finding out ur preg…. Them (minus Roxie) helping/comferting u when ur having da baby and their reactions when they r born!! Head cannons pls and u can cancel da 3rd Matthew x reader/headcanons … also how do u feel

i'd love too!! also, i'm doing okay now :3 i got a sudden burst of motivation so i feel a lot a better and im getting a lot of stuff done hehehehehe

the evil exes (minus roxie) + scott after the baby!!

scott pilgrim:

if you expected scott to be comforting, than you're expecting just a teensy bit too much from him

to be honest, bro is freaking out

his mind is screaming "OH MY GOD THIS IS HAPPENING OH MY GOD IM GONNA BE A DAD WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO OH GOD" and his heart is screaming "BRO CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND HOLD YOUR PARTNER'S HAND OR SOMETHING"

he doesn't let his anxiety show (or at least he tries not to) and does his best to attend to you through the entire process

when the baby is born, he's happy but also so relieved that you're not in pain anymore

also he cries

he just sits in the corner and sobs

he's so happy

matthew patel:

similarly to scott, he's freaking out

but not because he's anxious

he is so excited he's bouncing off the walls

you're going to have to get his attention if you need his comfort because he's gonna be in his own little world

but he snaps out of it as soon as he realizes you need him

he keeps your hair out of your face and rubs the back of your hands all while praising you for doing such a good job

when the baby is born, he also cries

literally cannot hold the baby because he's shaking from excitement

HE'S A DAD!!!!!

lucas lee:

bro is so responsible, he's by your side the entire time

hospitals make him queasy, but if it's for you, he's willing to put that all aside

he's practically a nurse's assistant with the way he's running around the room and getting you whatever you need

he definitely seems like a dad, but now that the two of you are actually going to have a little one running around, he FEELS like a dad

literally so excited when he holds the baby that you think he's going to pass out

todd ingram:

poor guy is having so much anxiety around everything, and he has been from the start

he struggles a lot and is so so SO worried he's not gonna be a good dad, but he knows now isn't the time to worry about that

he needs to focus on YOU

he runs his fingers through your hair and whispers into your ear about how you're almost there, how when this is all over, the three of you can come home and he'll tend to your every beck and call, how he'll make all of your favorite meals and make sure you have only the comfiest of clothes to wear, and when the baby goes to bed, you can sleep the entire night and he'll take care of them

he's in shock when it's all over

he finally gets to hold his flesh and blood child and he has to hold back the tears

he's so :')

kyle katayanagi:

you're in the most pain of your life and the entire time bro is like "FUCK YEAH BABE YOU'RE GIVING BIRTH SO HARD RIGHT NOW"

it's actually hilarious

he tackles comforting you with his incredible sense of humor

he tries to make you laugh as best he can, despite your conditions because he believes that laughter is the best medicine

and it's distracting you from the pain, so at least it's working!!

when he finally has the baby in his arms, his responsible side kicks in he's a lot calmer

but he is absolutely restraining the urge to shriek from excitement

ken katayanagi:

unlike his twin brother, he is NOT saying "fuck yeah babe you're giving birth so hard"

he's more like "every time you push, that's one night i make one of your favorite meals for dinner"

he's not the best at encouraging, but having him stand over you, rubbing your shoulders and wiping the sweat off your brow is comforting enough

he's so happy when the baby is finally born, and he looks at them with so much love it's overwhelming

gideon graves:

this man has so much composure it's kind of terrifying

there is no nervous bone in his body when you go into labor

he's able to help you through the whole process, almost as if he spent weeks researching it (spoiler warning, he totally did LMAO)

he offers you a bunch of things to help, but realizes it's HIM that you need

he holds that baby and immediately starts acting like a dad

he can finally break out those awful dad jokes he's been saving up for months and he's never been happier

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim x reader #matthew patel #matthew patel x reader #lucas lee #lucas lee x reader #todd ingram #todd ingram x reader #kyle katayanagi #kyle katayanagi x reader #ken katayanagi #ken katayanagi x reader #gideon graves #gideon graves x reader #scott pilgrim vs the world #spvtw

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69misato69 · 1 year

Note

🍭I have arrived. Listen to me very carefully Venus. We got one shot at this. I need you to focus on me. Ajax and Zhongli are dating and they fuck live on stream every Friday. Write this shit down. You are not writing it down. I can see.

Good boy. Now then, fucking on stream was it? Yes. Cam boy show and a wholesome audience. I need them both transgender.

Zhongli isn't there, business meeting or something. I'm not sure, make it up. I trust you.

Ajax announces that he will be alone for the stream and chat is doing their best to keep him entertained. He misses Zhongli after all.

Halfway through the stream, Zhongli joins chat with a cheeky "Without me?"

He is supposed to be busy, so it doesn't cross Ajax's mind that he would be watching. Nevertheless, he is. After he joins it's a whole another form of - putting on a show -

Do not ask me any follow-up questions. Delete this is you refuse. I have a feeling that you won't.

Yours forever and always, my friend. Godspeed.

hi anon you are... insane i love you so very much. ur the only person i have ever seen that is more off the rails than i am. i hope you enjoy this <3

masterlist ✦ archive of our own ✦ twitter

camboys childe and zhongli, zl is unable to participate in their weekly show bc he is out of town so he comes up with another solution. (2k)

c: implied top zl x bottom childe, transmasc childe with top surgery and no bottom surgery, sex toys, overstimulation, voyeurism and exhibitionism

minors DNI please. enjoy !

Childe looks around the room to make sure everything is neat and tidy. It’s silent except for the computer’s fan humming softly. Awfully quiet without Zhongli.

He hooks the cable to a larger screen and adjusts the camera. The lobby is already almost full, as it always is at least ten minutes before their weekly show.

Childe clears his throat and takes a deep breath before starting the stream.

“Hi, everyone!”

ajaxfucker69: hi jaxxx

mrincognitomode: HELLOOO

Chat floods with greetings. The forced smile on Childe’s face soon transforms into a genuine one upon reading the kind wishes, “Ah, good to see you all.”

rickastleyofficial: where lili :(

The comment causes his eyes to lose their sparkle again.

“So, right... About that, I have to tell you guys something.” he averts his gaze.

hydroslime: NO OH MY GOD NO

thisismeta: DONT SAY IT OMG

ajaxfucker69: there is no fuckng way

Dozens of comments speculate about their break up, already jumping to conclusions and expressing how devastated they are that Childe realizes how he should have probably led on differently.

“No, no of course not.” he shakes his hands in the air, “It’s just that he had to leave for a trip right after last week’s stream. He was supposed to be coming back today but… Well, some family stuff. It’s a bit complicated. In short, I’m alone today.”

rickastleyofficial: GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK DAMN

zhonglikisser: thank god but everything is ok right?

“Yes, everything is fine. But it was so last minute that we had no way of announcing it. We can wrap this up and do a longer one next week, maybe. What do you think?” Childe ruffles the back of his hair. He is visibly anxious about gathering all their audience and having to explain the sudden change of plans, but no one seems to mind.

mrincognitomode: no no hehe go ahead

simphour: fuck yourself (affectionately. i will watch <3)

Childe laughs at the remark, “Alright. No objections? I can’t really do anything that we planned on my own, though. We’ll save those for next week.”

rickastleyofficial: pls just strip and finger urself im so hungry

“How can I say no to such a kind offer?” Childe tosses his shirt aside and slides the underwear off his legs. He pads his back with a pillow and leans on it, facing the camera sideways so that his full body is on display. The light bounces off his strong arms and legs, circles around his soft belly as a soothing breeze hits him between his thighs.

Childe turns to read the bottom part of the screen, complying with every request. He parts one leg to the side as the other stays bent, hands teasing his own nipples until they’re hardened and sensitive to the touch.

Soft moans that drive everyone insane and leave them begging for more. He chuckles and slips one hand between his thighs. A rare occurrence where everyone stops typing, only to resume as soon as Childe begins to slide two fingers up and down between his folds.

He sighs blissfully, secretly sore from viciously fucking himself the whole week. He tries his best to go slow, to work out his aching cunt as it gets wetter with each passing second.

zhonglikisser: do u miss him ajax ;(

“Oh boy, do I?” Childe hisses as he brushes against his clit, “A week’s just too long.”

He circles around the sensitive bundle, pressuring every nerve ending to the point that he can’t catch his breath.

“Fuck—” Childe sighs. He grows weak, legs twitching, voice shaking and hole quivering for more.

ajaxfucker69: ur so handsome ill cry

tartalitruther: BIG BOYY

thisisalsometa: we r here dont worry ajax </3

Childe has a hard time figuring out why, but it’s much better when people are watching. It overwhelms him with pleasure knowing how so many people are drooling behind their screens, eyeing him up and down and swooning over him.

Silent worship.

Even better when Zhongli watches him when he’s not allowed to touch. He takes his time slowly working himself out and laughing as Zhongli crumbles.

He grips his thighs and grunts with every flick of Childe’s wrist until he’s allowed to press his husband against the mattress and slam into him.

Until they’re both covered in sweat and Childe’s hips are bruised from his grasp and Zhongli’s back is marked with his nails.

Childe occasionally glances at the screen but it gets harder and harder the more he melts into the sheets. The room closes twenty minutes in, so the sound of a new guest is usually never heard after that. Naturally, his eyes widen upon hearing it.

A small crown symbol that signifies a creator’s account.

Zhongli: Good evening, everyone.

“Huh?” his hand stops moving.

ajaxfucker69: HUSBAND CAMEO

ilyzhongli: yall get in formation

rickastleyofficial: hi zhongliii (twirls hair)

“Zhongli? You—came?” Childe can’t believe his eyes.

Zhongli: Not yet. You first.

godsgayestsoldier: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO

bitchless: I CANT FUCJING BREATHE

rickastleyofficial: goofy ahh

Childe can’t help but laugh. Zhongli is supposed to be busy all week in a house full of his relatives, having excruciatingly long dinners every night that exhaust him into oblivion. It’s only when he’s with family that Childe gets to witness typos in his good night messages.

Zhongli: Why don’t you spread your legs and show us? I feel like I’m not getting my money’s worth.

ajaxfucker69: ur so right

rickastleyofficial: pussy reveal RIGHT NOWWW

Childe’s heart races, he shakily gets up and sits in front of the camera, spreading his legs. He’s embarrassingly wet now that Zhongli is here. He shifts forward as the chat goes berserk and slides his hand down again.

Zhongli: Beautiful.

God, he’s doing it on purpose.

Childe can’t see his face or hear his voice but it’s so easy to trick himself into thinking that it’s Zhongli touching him. He digs deep with two of his fingers, curling them up against his sweet spot and whimpering at his own touch.

Tears pool around his eyes as he bites down on his bottom lip. So sensitive and needy, he fights the urge to beg Zhongli to come back and lay him down. To kiss him all over and bury his head between Childe’s legs.

It drives him insane to think about how Zhongli would be watching him. Is he alone, stroking his cock as he watches Childe — or is he at the family function with headphones on?

It would be so wrong, with all those people around and his husband moaning in his ear.

Childe hopes it’s that one. He hopes Zhongli is hard under the table, fighting for his life and about to lose his mind.

Before he realizes he’s already clenching around his own fingers, releasing with a low moan.

ilyzhongli: TOY TOY TOY

zhonglikisser: the pink oneeee <3333 pls ajax

Childe collapses forward with a grin, “Tsk. So merciless today.”

He reaches for the drawer with shaky legs, taking out a small vibrator with a remote controller. He settles back down as the chat bubbles over with excitement.

Childe looks down, holding the device against his clit and turning it on. A squeak escapes his lips at the sensation.

“Why don’t I take some questions from the audience, and if you like my answers I’ll change the frequency?” he proposes and slides it inside. His walls tighten with the low vibrations caressing his insides.

rickastleyofficial: be honest did u fap to zhongli pics this week

“No.” a slightly twisted smile takes over Childe’s lips, “I did it to some voice messages, though.”

Zhongli: Oh?

“While wearing his clothes, maybe. Who knows?”

rexlapis: id be dying right about now

evenmoremetanow: this is true love everyone shut up

rickastleyofficial: put one on. right fking now

Childe scrapes himself off the bed, “Well, of course.”

He makes his way to their wardrobe with trembling legs, picking out a soft, light-brown, collared shirt.

He lays on his side and rests his cheek on his palm, “Might get it a bit dirty though, is that alright Zhongli?”

Zhongli: Paint it white.

ajaxfucker69: u heard the man

Childe giggles at the thought, “Ah, I’ve entertained enough requests, don’t I deserve a bit more?”

Zhongli: Agreed. Turn it all the way up.

He’s delighted to see Zhongli grow more invested by each passing minute. Sure, it’s impossible to hear it but his gentle yet demanding orders ring in Childe’s ears. He obliges happily, lower body twitching with the impact.

“Tell me, chat. If you had a boyfriend this pretty—hah—would you leave him all alone like this?”

ilyzhongli: nooo

mrincognitomode: nuh uh

Childe squirms and aimlessly grips at the sheets.

“That’s what I—ah—I thought.”

With every incoming wave he grinds down on the mattress, so full yet hollow at the same time. It has to be Zhongli bending him over, ramming into his wall and filling him up until Childe is sobbing on his cock.

“Zhongli…” he whimpers desperately without even noticing.

Begs and pleas spill from his lips for him to return, to have him whatever way he wants to as he unravels and humps the mattress with the vibrator stuffed deep inside.

Childe on their bed, using their toys in Zhongli’s clothes, moaning for him.

There is no way he isn’t going insane.

Childe can’t hold a position anymore, writhing in front of the camera with glossy eyes that make it impossible to read the screen.

He cums again while gasping for air, drooling all over the collar and staining the skirt of his shirt. The fabric is pressed in between his thighs, soaking up the wetness of his dripping cunt.

Childe rubs his eyes occasionally to skim the chat, but no one seems to have any intention to stop him. He lets out an unhinged laugh and rests on his back.

The shirt folds to the other side, exposing his body.

It would be so cruel to rob everyone of the sight, to deprive Zhongli of the waist he loves holding and kissing up at.

Childe’s back arches, hips pulsating with every orgasm as he tugs at his own hair and teases his nipples.

He presses his thighs together, turning the vibrations even more violent. His senses are going numb. The computer’s fan, he can’t hear anymore through his clogged ears. Whenever he tries to direct his gaze to the screen, his pupils roll back with pleasure so intense it feels like Childe is going to rip in half.

Face covered in his own spit and chest glistening with sweat, he palms over his cunt to find it drenched. He leaks all over Zhongli’s shirt, pathetic and so beautiful that no one can even spare half a second to blink.

Tears stream down Childe’s face as he has no choice but to reach for the remote while shaking through another orgasm.

Warmth overtakes him. He relaxes onto the bed with a long exhale and closes his eyes—

“My god.”

nomoremeta: u did so well <3

ajaxfucker69: ajax mwahhh

Childe gains composure and finally opens his eyes to a clearer scene, replying to all comments breathily and bidding everyone farewell. The count on the upper right hand of the screen gradually goes down, until there’s one person left.

One person that just won’t leave.

Zhongli: The prettiest.

“Show’s over, sir. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave the premises.” Childe says playfully.

Zhongli: Just a few more minutes.

Childe rolls up into a ball towards the camera and hugs his legs.

“Zhongli…”

“My love.” he types, already weakened with Childe’s soft, tired voice.

“I miss you…” he whines.

There is nothing Zhongli wants more than to hold him in a loving embrace, to revel in his scent with fingers carding through his soft, ginger locks until the morning.

“I miss you too. So much. Two days, and I’m there. Okay?” he types out with one hand, the other soiled with his own cum, dribbling onto the bed. His hand still hovers, leaving light strokes along his spent cock. Zhongli gazes at the screen affectionately.

“Did you like it?”

Zhongli: I did. Exquisite as always.

Zhongli: Why don’t I return the favor with a private show?

#zhongli x childe #zhongchi #zhongchi smut #genshin smut #genshin fanfic #childe genshin impact #zhongli genshin impact #ajax genshin impact #tartaglia genshin impact #zhongli x tartaglia #fandom asks #completed request

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tsudelune · 2 years

Note

hello im back.. did u miss me🥺 probably one of my last requests for you since ion wanna pressure you, what about akito or touya with a s/o that can't communicate well? they can only communicate well online ♫♫ thanks in advanceee!

'' secrets i have held in my heart , are harder to hide than i thought ,,

- akito shinonome x reader, touya aoyagi x reader

a/n : hi hi hi! i know it’s like...august now, i’m working on requests a bit now since i can use my computer, so i’ll be responding and working on these in present time...anyway, you can always request, just only when my request box is open. you don’t have to worry about pressuring me. i just did both of the boys, doing god’s work rn (/j) sorry if it’s short...

warnings : none!

style : hc style (bullets)

- akito doesn’t mind that you can’t communicate well.

- whenever you have issues trying to talk to others, he won’t mind stepping up for you. akito is headstrong after all.

- he’ll need a little time to notice your patterns, when you get uncomfortable and those signs.

- he’d do the most sweetest things to comfort you in the moment. hold your hand, pat your head, anything.

- akito would sometimes push you to talk to others. (ok akito.) he’d want you to step out of your comfort zone a little.

akito, with a smirk : *pushes you in front of him*

y/n, in their mind, passive-aggresively : YOU PIECE OF SHI-

- of course, if you feel uncomfortable, he’s not one to be shy to step up for you!

- i’d feel like he’d be really considerate and thoughtful about this, but never shows it...cold yet caring i suppose.

- anybody who dares to come up to you and bully you, they’re done for.

- he’s like already STARING into them.

- they don’t ever try to annoy you with akito by your side.

- whenever you’re a little shy to tell him something, he has his phone ready. akito’s WAITING for that text.

- if it’s something around the edges of “i love you”, akito starts a wildfire (pt2).

- bonus points if you start teasing him with your voice. akito gives up.

- once in a while, you can get frustrated at yourself for not being able to communicate well, even to your lover.

- akito understands, and tells you that there’s no need for you to rush. he thinks that taking your time and trying your best is enough.

- either you talk to him online, or offline, he still loves you in everyway!

- touya understands, and like akito, doesn’t mind.

- after all, touya is also misunderstood for being blunt in his conversations with others.

- when you get anxious to talk to someone, he’ll hold your hand and rub his thumb on it, in a way to comfort you.

- i feel like touya would be (as always) such a gentle boy with you. he loves you a lot and he doesn’t want you to ever feel uncomfortable.

- he’d (gladly) scare those that are giving you a hard time. (he might actually like doing it LMFAO)

- if he doesn’t scare them away, he just. he just grabs you by the hand and walks away. like..what?

touya, absolutely FED UP with (the person that’s bothering you)’s bs : *aggresive hand holding and muttering crap-talking them*

y/n, smiling while sweatdropping : so this is how touya’s like when mad...haha...ha...

- touya would apologize if the sudden contact made you uncomfortable. but...you don’t really mind, right?

- touya will gladly step up for you, just give him the sign! (eye glance, anxious motions, yk the deal)

- he really cares about you, never wants to see you sad or discouraged.

- when you tell touya that you need to tell him something through text, he nods his head and takes his phone out. STARING AT THE SCREEN. WITH PUPPY EYES.

- you can’t help but not send the message to admire his face a little bit...

- touya is still waiting for that message btw...!!

- if you decide to tell him, “i love you” he...goes blank. completely, blank.

- touya would blush and just immediately run over for a hug (IM SOBBING I LOVE HIM)

- no matter what, he loves you all of the time!

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creativebrainrot · 4 months

Text

open journal entry

most of my holiday depression isnt like- im not feeling it right now. but its still kind of there. im still extra sensitive atm to all the gunk ive talked about before.

but its nice to be distracted by Life Things(tm) from all that tv static in my head.

I do wish i could more easily eradicate all thoughts of,

"they all have someone better than you" "you aren't special to anyone" "you'll never be someone's favorite" "you are not wanted"

All of those thoughts hurt like hell like my heart is getting ripped out of my chest. that kind of hurt. no matter how many times i think them. it hurts like new.

but like i said in a previous journal entry, that, conviction that all those thoughts are actually true and real, it just takes time for it to be revealed it was true the entire time, and i am the only exception to kindness and good will. It goes so deep idk how to unlearn it. i think for now at least i have no choice except to just learn how to live with those thoughts (hate. but therapy expensive and annoying and difficult. so. Later(TM))

my point was.

theres a lot of. tv static up stairs right now. I wish i could just turn it off and act like everything was normal.

but it isnt normal right now. and im gonna have a lot of times where I need to just hide away in DMs and not talk to anyone except people i already know.

i'll probably go through this next december too.

it doesnt end or turn off. I will have trouble with the holidays probably for the rest of my life but i WOULD like to enjoy new year's again :(

I kinda wish it was more acceptable to ask for validation/reassurance? like it's so weird to me that's not "socially acceptable" or that its like "weird" to ask "hey we're still good right?"

because: "(the worms in my brain have been torturing me for the last week and I need to know that we're still chill directly from you sorry)"

and thats insanely difficult to work through on my own without any external reassurance but oh my god id rather gnaw my own foot off than deal with being ""too autistic"" to any of my friends.

(NOTE!!!! i know for a fact that three of my closest friends would be completely fine and very understanding if I DID ask them that question/need reassurance ily guys <3)

idk man. brain. difficult. life hard. /positive

excited for the stability we'll have next year though oh my god i love the city holy shit this everything my previous shitass house wasn't oh my god i am so happy i would love to make this place specifically work out if it doesnt thats fine but holy shit i wanna stay here man

also. financial insecurity. (derogatory.)

Overall: 8.9/10 we are doing great and so are the pets. I wish we could re home katey but a big nervous anxious old dog is A Lot and no one has been able to take her in. I can tell it weighs on my dad that no one can take her in and love her. let alone how much it hurts to rehome an animal at all, even when itd be better for the animal too.

anyway we're doing well, i want my schedule back i have friends to bother with oc ship nonsense (/affectionate) again and i have things i need to get out of my brain but I Can't!!!!! [legoyodadeath.mp3]

#creativelyrottedmind #rotthoughts #open journal #many thouhgt. woahg.

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lunathebee · 1 year

Text

[9:16]

[Warning: pure angst with no comfort, you can read the context here, Im a sucker for angst so I will just...focus on it]

Y/n is getting a bit scared and annoyed seeing how Peter keeps following them around like a lost puppy, and not just any Peter, but Peter, the boy that stuck around their entire childhood, always smiling and being sweet like a lolipop.

But perhaps all of this had to come to an end, because even lollipops can become sickeningly sweet to the point it make you sick.

"Do you need anything Peter? And can you two stop peeking at that corner!?" Y/n shout at two figures not so far behind Peter; no doubt it's MJ and Ned, but what are they even doing? Eavesdropping?

"Oh... um, anyway, I have this for you." Peter scratches the back of his head and pulls out a box with a velvet ribbon on top of it from his backpack. "It is a present."

Y/n can clearly see a smile on Peter's face; if only they can do the same...The weight of the present box feels heavy on their hands. They look at it and then back to Peter, whose eyes look like they want to say "Well, why don't you open it? Go on, open it."

So they do, and what's inside the box only makes their hearts clench: "It was (favorite items of your own)." So Peter remembered what Y/n had said when they were children; he remembered their dream. But maybe it's too late now.

"Peter... I'm sorry, the present is really nice, but I don't think I can accept it." Y/n close the box and push it back to a confused Peter.

"What happened? Did you give him the wrong box, Ned?? "What? No! It should have worked perfectly"

Peter can hear Ned and MJ chattering in the background with an anxious voice, but right now all he wants to focus on is Y/n's sad face. Did he just get rejected? No, maybe he needs to say it in a more direct way.

"I-I love you." He trips on his words, trying to say it without breaking down. Peter is still lingering on the string of hope that Y/n is clueless about his affection.

But how could they? They have been in love with him for the longest time ever, but how strange that in this moment, Y/n can't feel anything. The roles have reversed; they are not the ones begging for love anymore.

""I'm sorry Peter, I can't return your feelings... I've already moved on."

Moved on? Moved on...

*BAM*

Before Y/n could react, the present box slipped from Peter's grasp and smashed to the ground.

"What do you mean moved on Y/n?" Y/n, please look at me; I-I need an explanation, Y/n?" Peter's voice became frantic—has he been so clueless all this time?

Y/n let out a long sigh. "Moved on means moved on, Peter, that's all. Now can you let go of my shoulders? You're hurting me."

Peter immediately released his hands; sometimes he forgot he had superhuman strength, but he is the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, right? Peter would never use his superpower to do bad things, and now he is hurting the person he loves the most, both mentally and physically. God... what is wrong with him?

"But..but I...I mean we can fix it right? Please, can you give me a second chance?"

Y/n is starting to feel uncomfortable; they want to leave now, but Peter is blocking their way, saying things about an explanation and a second chance. What doesn't he understand?

"PETER! I HAVE MOVED ON!" Y/n shout with tears in their eyes, threatening to fall down at any moment.

Peter doesn't look any better; his head drops down in sadness. Y/n wait for him to say something back, but he doesn't.

"Everybody has a chance, Peter. We all have a chance to choose someone to love... And you choose Liz... while I choose YOU." Y/n swallowed a lump in their throat before continuing to speak, trying to hide how their voice started to waver. "I choose you, Peter...How can I give you a second chance when I was never an option for your first choice?"

Y/n give Peter one last pity look before turning their back and walking away, disappearing into the crowd of people.

Disappearing from his life.

#tom!peter x reader #tom!peter parker #tom!spiderman #spiderman x you #spiderman x reader #spiderman x y/n #marvel angst #marvel drabble #tom holland angst #marvel x reader

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gayskogul · 5 months

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So I would like all your thoughts on Andrew's letter at the end of The Charioteer....

If this is your way of saying "I know you just stand on the sidelines and never join in our discussions bitch. pspspsps lets talk about andrew," know that it's gonna work. Let me preface this with 1) I'm illiterate hehe and 2) I didn't do the re-read this year, and the last (and first!) time I've read TC was aug 2022. So this is gonna be me noting stuff down as I re-read the passage now. There will inevitably be some context and earlier moments I'm forgetting, sorry bout that.

So the first thing I'm noticing is that when Laurie disguises his letter with his paper, Mary's been kind enough to tell us that it's right next to a list of downed planes and lost pilots. Thanks for setting the tone, Mary! Now I know how this is gonna sting lol. Next, I notice that by god does Andrew ramble! After his introductory bit where he's saying he's tried writing a couple of times and is moving to London, the words really tumble over each other. It feels very verbal to me; he really writes like he speaks, doesn't he? But I'm guessing that's because he's anxious to put such dangerous thoughts on paper. He's just decked a fella, become disillusioned in his beliefs abt pacifism etc., admitting he has romantic feelings for another man, and quite overtly at that. And then he's like "I thought you felt the same", and that it's all confusing to sift through that without Laurie there ("I found I couldn't see things so clearly when I was alone"). It's all so... raw and earnest, which is just so Andrew imo. That said, him only snapping after Bunny taunts him about Ralph and Laurie's relationship is low key very funny but yeah- he's probably had these home of sexual thoughts swimming around, then had them plucked out of his heat and then thrown back at him by (who he thinks is) his love interest's boyfriend. That must have been mortifying to hear aloud, and it must have sucked to realise that Bunny's taunt was true. These couple of lines, "But it taught me something. The thing you want to kill is really in yourself", is so heartbreaking idk.

Then he goes on to say "ok cool im gay. i guess. my pacifism is a lie. Maybe it always was? anyway im gonna go throw myself under the worst of the blitz, thanks for the kiss." To which I think... girl, same. (stream of consciousness tangent: laurie why do all your boyfriends keep trying to off themselves? Can someone go check up on charles????) And then he's ending his letter begging Laurie to deny his relationship with Ralph and my heart just fully breaks for him. I know I'm notoriously sympathetic to Andrew but imagine writing that kind of thing in a letter to somebody! Something I hadn't remembered is how assertive he is that there's nothing happening between Laurie and Ralph. "Will you please tell me yourself that there is nothing in what he said about you and him? Of course I know there isn't." Now that I read this back, I reckon it has the potential to come off as quite arrogant, depending on how one feels towards Andrew. But then he writes, "But somehow it has got a hold on me; I can't get it out of my mind", and I swing towards thinking that oh noooo, he's so not coping. The whole thing is just kinda painful to read through - but it's such a strong read!

Fig. 1. August 25, 2022. A second plane his hit the Quakenation towers.

I think why Andrew's ending sits with me like a sad, little icy splinter in my heart is because I just feel bad for the poor guy. He basically falls in love with a man, and then quite rapidly undergoes loads of realisations about that (and other beliefs about himself), and then has them violently blow up on him. Then he kinda... doesn't really get any closure? Not that we can see in the text, anyway. Like who knows if Laurie ever does write, even if it's just to follow Dave's (cold imo) advice of writing to him "when you feel he's needing it, not when you feel you must".

I'm not sure if this is just a madman's ravings at this point, clutching at straws for a reading but it boils down to me acknowledging how difficult it can be to come to terms with your queerness (and most of us have got it much easier, comparatively), and I know Laurie knows that, and could probably have helped Andrew out. Let him know he’s not alone, or whatever. I'm not saying he should have ended up with Andrew romantically—nor does he have any obligation to do anything, really—but he's been in that place mentally fairly recently and he's just seen that Dave's a bit weird about it. Considering that he'd felt so strongly about Andrew, it's a bit of a bummer that he just goes along with what Dave says and heads off. It's very sweet and poetic to leave him the copy of the Phaedrus, but girl... how well adjusted did that make the other two, lmao. Ultimately, that might keep Andrew out of trouble, but we know he can be quite stubborn and I reckon it'll probably not make it much easier for him in the long run. Dave and Laurie keep trying to be so protective of him that he doesn’t really get a chance to do anything!

#ramblings #if ur gonna break up with your twink situationship #do it in person!#dont just invite him to the sisterhood of the travelling phaedrus copy #do u think Dave was ever like “yeah i was totally nailing ur dad kiddo”

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onthejadedjournal · 13 days

Text

update

after i broke down school (the day of the deadline) because of how anxious i was about this whole ordeal - my best friend immediately tried to figure a way around the issue and told me he'll try to coax the teacher into listening to him which was so daring because that teacher is very true to her words and she had really high standards for all of us

it was so hard to talk that day. my head hung so low and i couldn't even hear the lessons because of how mentally distraught i was that day - i had to use my notebook to talk to him because if i talked, i know my sobs and hiccups will be heard and i hate attracting attention. he immediately noticed how distant i acted and it i quickly clicked back to the comic i made back then and. idk. I'm just surprised how accurate that was. i dunno. self projection works ig

either way. at the end of the day - my teacher acknowledged the concern and extended it up to sunday this week

i'm happy but i'm still really. not happy. happy because im given one more chance to work on it but unhappy because - i feel that this could've been worked out much better. or better yet. not a fucking animation

and. im also pissed. really pissed

the trailer wasn't mandatory.

i could've been. working on the story a week before if it werent for the fucking trailer

but. i cant even be too mad about it because at at least the trailer gave me insight on how i feel about animation?

well for one. im not taking the multimedia art course anymore in college. eye opening moment for me

and two - thanks to many people telling me this; you don't have to make it high effort just to please everyone. its okay to dumb it down because an artist's eyes isnt the same as a normal one. another eye opening moment to me

and i guess the trailer was only good for getting everyone to buy our movie tickets. idk

but. the trailer wasnt mandatory. i just learned that and i was really upset.

again. should i be mad or not? I don't know but it just happens. its a double edged sword

another thing that really made me angry was how everyone thinks this is going to be a walk in the park for me. its not. it's not. "she'll do okay because she can draw" "we're going to win some awards thanks to her" god i wish i never heard those i don't even know the first thing about animation im just really lucky to have nicole help me as she's a genuine aspiring animator.

either way im just so ready to forget all of this when im done. i don't want to share this project to friends because i'm more or less traumatized mentally and physically about this and I don't want to recall it again and i'm dead serious about it.

it also doesnt help that i keep getting called a slacker at home for not doing the animation. if only you understand what im feeling. did you not take the hint when i slept early twice? yeah. yeah maybe you should get it next time. just got told that while i was typing this . hahhah

i've lost my energy to be happy and even to selfship (but with one exception i guess) because the last 2 days i just find myself crying to sleep over how angry i am and it sucks because i cant catch up to what my friends are doing and I don't want to be the lump of coal that opposes their energy everytime i come to them which is why i'm just here to rot and complain about it. i know they're willing to be there to help me destress. i know they're worried about me. but i have to consider the external factors (which is. being accused of being a slacker when im in need of comfort from my friends). if i was the only person in the house then i would've done it in a heartbeat

i don't sound the same right now and it all culminates to this. it's almost a month and this is eating me alive consistently to no end. i get bursts of joy here and there but it doesn't outweigh how tired i am

but thankfully i'm given another chance to work on it so.

now im just praying i can make it. im praying

and leave this fucking school soon

#i got home from school for our graduation pictorials #supposed to finish at 2 #finished at 5 #so much time wasted again #sorry I don't have much good things to say

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