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kafkasmuses · 9 days

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CALIGULA — luke castellan + reader : luke castellan, in all his reign, has a love for sexual pleasure, more importantly with you.

tags: mdni, inspired by ancient roman stories, luke is a pervert, dark!luke, p in v sex, jealousy, possessiveness, assistant!reader, captain!luke, luke is an awful man in this sawry

a/n: ive been binge watching the roman empire show

LONG LIVE THE EMPEROR.

41 AD.

luke castellan can’t deny how harsh of a captain he was on the princess andromeda.

he wanted to be the best captain on the sea, wanted to get his revenge on camp halfblood and the gods, wanted to live the lavish life he had always dreamed of. he thought of a life where he would drink red wine out of chalices, be fed grapes from the hands of beautiful women, or men, he wanted to be treated like a god— because in his mind, he would be the best god to ever exist.

you started out as his assistant, writing papers for him on a simple typewriter that he gave to you, a fucking typewriter. you tried to remind him it was no longer the 1950s, he scoffed like you were stupid. “you know people used them in the 1800s, right?”

your lips press together, looking at him, then the typewriter, then back to him. you offer a small smile, and he doesn’t return it, he never does, and he never will. luke took things very seriously, maybe too seriously, so he never let himself smile, let alone laugh, a bitter scoff was all you’d get from him at most.

you were pliant, luke noticed, and he liked that. you did everything he asked, every time he asked. he’d call your name, and hear your heels clicking against the wooden floorboards no less than a second later. speaking of heels, luke was strict about dress codes, too.

to call him a pervert.. well, you wouldn’t be far off.

he wanted you to wear things like tight pencil skirts, short or long, thin tights, maybe even solely stockings, stiletto heels that he’d purchased for you the second he saw you show up in mary janes, and a simple shirt or blouse. he liked glasses, too, thin, square framed ones, like bayonetta’s.

you had to wear dark red lipstick, regardless.

you hated your boss, more than anything, the way he’d walk into a room and easily command it, the way his body language reeked of cockiness, the way that despite all evilness, he still thought he was doing something for the greater good.

what you hated the most, is how much you fantasized about him.

that’s why you always ran to him so quick when he called out for you, why you endured the loud clacking of the typewriter keys even when you had to do a paper at night and he opened your door to yell at you to ‘shut the fuck up or get thrown off the damn boat.’

he was never a good man, nor a good boss, but he looked good.

you liked when he was angry, when he yelled at you, when he held your jaw so tight you were sure he’d shatter it and spit degrading words at you like you were vile. it should be such a shame that you enjoy it, but you don’t pity yourself one bit. he was meaner with you, he always cracked awful jokes with the rest of the crew, drank beers with them, lit their cigarettes, but you, you were the person he took all his anger out on.

well, at first it was anger.

then he began to ever so slowly show his desires for sexual connections. he was able to hold it in at first, act like he wasn’t missing having sex, like he wasn’t missing the simple touch of a woman or man. masturbating wasn’t keeping him sane for long, not when he didn’t have anything to masturbate to. then he began to focus his attention onto you.

you were attractive, and luke couldn’t hold back how his short glances turned to stares. his jaw ticks, lips parting, “i want you to wear shorter skirts.”

“mini skirts?” you blink at him, he had called you to his office, and his eyes were traveling over your body every second he got.

“yeah,” he pauses, “and lower cut shirts.”

before your lips can even part, he dismisses you, and bluntly stares at your ass when you walk away. it was so ironic, luke used to be such a virgin, a complete loser, but now he was nothing short of the opposite. he was cocky, he knew he was handsome, he knew people were attracted to him easily, mostly sexually.

if luke was lucky, at some stops, he might be able to bring back a few women or men home with him, they always gawked at the ship, told him how cool it is that he has a boat, that he’s a captain, and has a crew, that everyone does everything for him.

they thought it was hot, so they wanted to do things for him to, he’d take them to his quarters, and provide them with red wine before moaning could be heard all throughout the ship.

but his boat was in the middle of the sea, and has been for a month or so now, and he felt like he was going insane.

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧₊˚ 🍷

luke was struggling to sleep, insomnia was getting the best of him, he thought that if he drank more and more wine, he would eventually wind down. he never did. he only got slopper, and aroused. the worst mix on nights like these was the bubbling frustration that he didn’t have anything to fuck, and the fact that he wanted to fuck something so bad.

his dick strains in his boxers, and his teeth grit together, mentally cursing himself for continuously offering himself one more drink, after the third glass, knowing he’d have a fourth, and a fifth. he’d drank the whole bottle, and he wasn’t even close to tired.

his body feels warm, so warm. you come to his mind almost immediately, making his his hands draw closer to the hem of his boxers. the way your ass looks in those skirts, the stockings that meet at the middle of your thigh, the sheer shirts that barely showed the color of your bra, the slight cleavage you show when leaning over to place paperwork on his desk.

he recalls the one time he had came into your room in the dead of night in search of a document, but he was immediately met with the floral of your perfume, and the way your blanket barely covered your naked form. he shouldn’t look, really, he should shy away and close the door, but he swallows thick seeing your breast, the slight parting of your legs, the way your cunt barely peeks out the messily moved blanket.

he wouldn’t have actually done it, of course, because he’s a respectable man who puts consent above all else— but he wonders what it would look like if he pushed your legs apart, moved the blanket, and spread your pussy open for him. to be sleeping naked, how scandalous. he’d never know that you purposefully put the document in your room when you knew you wanted it, you purposefully slept naked, you purposefully moved the blanket in those ‘messy’ ways.

he inhales sharply, fingers moving underneath the fabric of his boxers to graze over his cock. it’s so perverted, to think of you like this, to imagine pulling you onto his lap the next time you come into his office, fingers gripping your skin the same way they grip his cock now. you’d probably melt into his touch, so innocent, so pliant, your doe eyes staring at him like he’s the only man who had ever existed, like he’s a god. and that’s what he is, a captain, an emperor, a god.

he thinks of himself, and is immediately reminded of caligula.

the roman emperor in 31 AD, he was described by some as a tyrant, but in the beginning, he was one of the best leaders in ancient rome. he was just like luke, addicted to sexual acts, wanting all the finest things in life, and the worst part— luke was just as paranoid as him.

but that was of no worry now, he was too focused on the pleasure that coursed underneath his flesh, or the simple thought of pushing his dick into your cunt, making your eyes roll back with pleasure you’d only ever dreamed of. luke knew he could make you feel good, and eventually he would. he imagined all the positions he would push you into, on your back, on your stomach with your ass up, having you ride him— gods.

he wondered if whenever you tried to make excuses for being far too late at typing up a paper in time, he could just simply have you on your knees for him, fucking your mouth so you’d shut up. bruising your lips, ruining your lipstick, making you cry, all of those thoughts sends luke over the edge in no less than a minute or two.

his skin is sticky with sweat, fingers coated in his own cum, but all he wants is more.

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧₊˚ 🍷

like mentioned before, luke had a madness problem.

ever since he had been cast out, he had this odd paranoia problem, he thought the gods would strike him down at any second, that they were watching his every move, or that percy jackson would find his way to his ship and kill him himself for all the damage he’s caused.

the lack of sex wasn’t the only thing driving luke mad, it was the cage of his own mind. the fact that he’s surrounded by the very thing that the man who’s responsible for percy’s existence owns, the sea. it all makes him sick, often times there will be crashing from his quarters in the late of night, but it always stopped as soon as it started.

this night was different, it just kept going. first something being pushed over, then the breaking of glass, more crashing, more shatters, yelling, some screaming— it was a nightmare. some of the crew woke up, but you were the only one who dared to take a step out onto the deck that night, let alone approach his quarters.

knock. knock. knock.

no response, a deafening silence underneath the crashing waves and the crackling of the candle in your hand.

knock. knock.

the lack of response is worrying. he almost always responds, either it’s to tell you to fuck off, or to come in. but now, nothing. he couldn’t have hurt himself, could he? you test the waters, fingers curling around the doorknob and turning it with the expectation for it to be locked as it always is.

it was unlocked. you push the door open, glancing in to see the mess that he had made of his own room, and him just simply sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. “luke?”

“captain,” he immediately mumbles out, a correction.

“captain,” you repeat, taking a step further inside, he has offered nothing against you being inside of his quarters. you are typically never allowed in here. you move to close the door behind you, placing the candle into the nearest holder that wasn’t completely destroyed.

you turn back to him, his head was raised to look at you, arms now lazily splayed onto his spread legs in his sitting position. he was a chronic manspreader, something you noticed, but seeing him faintly hunched over pathetically like this, tired eyes staring at you, sweat beading at his temple— he was so hot.

“are you okay?” you offer, voice as sweet as ever.

“am i okay?” he scoffs, a chuckle following after, he’s never chuckled in front of you before, “am i okay, am i okay—“ he hums, “what do you think, hm? you think i’m okay?”

his voice is confronting and harsh, like he wants to see you cower down, like he wants to break you like all the other things in his room. your brows furrow together for a second, “no..?”

“no, no, atta girl— you’re catchin’ on,” he smiles at you for the first time, “why don’t you help me feel better, yeah?”

you stare at him for a second, wondering if he meant what you thought he meant, “yeah.”

“yeah.” his voice is hushed, almost mocking, “c’mere.”

you immediately walk over to him in the ambient lighting, marking out your silhouette, stepping over all the things he’s knocked over. a grin tugs at his lips, cruel and cocky, he loves how easy you do anything he asks. his hand is gentle on your waist, pulling you closer, “so good for me.”

you nod at him, letting his hand guide you down to your knees, pupils dilated up at him so perfectly. his tongue swipes along the backside of his teeth, moving his hand to hold your jaw, tilting your head to properly look up at him. maybe it was wrong to fuck his assistant, someone working for him, but it just felt so right, all of this felt like it was in the prophecy.

his thumb swipes along your bottom lip, smearing the red lipstick there, of course you put that on before coming to his room. “so pretty,” he mumbles under his breath, dipping his finger between your lips and into your mouth. your lips curve up ever so slightly, leaning into his touch, lips closing around his flesh.

he takes it away from your mouth just as quick as it was slotted between your lips, moving to undo his belt, the veins in his hands shifted with each movement of his hands, first it was his belt, then his pants, then his boxers.

you always thought luke would have a big dick, he just has that certain cockiness that makes you think he couldn’t have a small dick and be acting the way he is, but this felt like it would hardly fit in your mouth.

you glance up at him, his amused stare which immediately turns to faux concern when you say, “i don’t think it’ll fit—“

“it will,” he immediately cuts in, prying your mouth open with his thumb whilst his free hand eases your head closer, “i’ll make it fit.”

your tongue runs along the vein at the bottom of his dick, already feeling the heaviness of it against the muscle in your mouth. you had sucked a few dicks before, sure, but this one was the biggest, and the cleanest. his hand holds your jaw when you start taking him into your mouth properly, tongue flat against the bottom of his cock, eyes peering up at him through heavy lids.

his lashes flutter pathetically, mouth falling open with your every movement, the way the saliva from your mouth coats him perfectly— he needed this. it felt like a dream coming right after a nightmare, he was exhausted, sweating from his breakdown, and you were sent to him right when he needed it, an angel on his shoulder.

but you’re going too slow, and luke’s growing restless from sitting so still. he can feel the ache of your jaw, but he wishes to make it worse somehow, as cruel as it sounds. his hand moves to the back of your head, hips ever so slowly bucking into your mouth, it was barely noticeable at first, until the sound of you sputtering and gagging around him fueled him more.

his thrusts quickly turned harsh, bruising, merciless.

he only paused when you slapped at his thigh pathetically, moving off to pant heavily, strings of saliva connecting your lips to his cock. you looked so messy, so pathetic, lipstick smeared, eyes puffy from falling tears. “always wanted this, huh? i notice how you look at me, always running to my office any chance you get, such a slut.”

you nod at him, and that only makes him want to say more, “do you believe in god?”

“yes, yes,” the response is immediate.

“am i your god?”

you pause at him, processing, what would the best answer be?

yes, of course, that would be the best answer. in luke’s own mind, all this misery, all this destruction, all this betrayal, it was only the start of his story to reach the top. when caligula was next in line for the throne and his father was on his deathbed, he killed his own father with hardly any hesitation, then became one of the most memorable roman emperors alongside julius caesar.

luke had been planning the murder of hermes for a long, long time, ever since the first book about caligula he read. killing percy jackson was a failure, all several times, so he had no other choice than to just shoot for the stars.

luke’s eyes refocus onto the situation at hand rather than being stuck in his own mind, he had you pushed on your stomach with your ass up, the position he always wished to put you in, the position he’s put multiple other women and men in.

his hands smooth over your ass, memorizing the canvas that he wants to splatter paint over. there’s something so intimate about this whole ordeal, the dim lighting of sole candles in all the destruction around his room, the crashing of waves on the sides of the boat as it moves through the sea, the red wine that luke drinks from the bottle he had just picked up.

he hums at the taste, rich, perfect. “want some?”

you shake your head, and he tuts in faux disappointment, “no fun, aren’t you? just want me to fuck you? needy, needy.”

albeit his degrations, his tip presses to your entrance, lips pressing together when he pushes in— holy fuck, you were tight. luke’s breathing is ragged, he feels as though your pussy is desperately trying to squeeze an orgasm out of him in seconds. it only worsens when you accidentally glench, making his teeth grit together, he coughs out a bitter chuckle, “you did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“no, nono—“ it was too late for the begging for forgiveness, his thrusts were already brutal, slamming into you without a single regard for how much pain it would leave you in, in the morning. caligula was a possessive lover, a harsh fucker, a man ruled by jealousy and madness— luke castellan was born from the same map of caligula.

his hands grip your hips harshly, punching out sweet moans from your bitten lips with every thrust, “fuck, fuck! luke!”

luke’s tongue prods at the inside of his cheek for a mere second before his hand suddenly moves to the back of your head, harshly tugging your hair back, “captain.”

another correction.

as soon as your back hits his chest, his hand moves from your hair to your neck, gripping the delicate skin there tight. he ignores your attempts to get his attention by placing sloppy, open mouthed kisses to his jaw, leaving his skin stained with your lipstick. his eyes were too focused on the mirror placed in front of him, of course he had one there, it was cracked, but he was still able to make out the way your skin trembled underneath him, the way his thrusts sent shivers up your spine, the way he easily made you cock drunk.

it didn’t take long for him to have you cumming on him as well, in which he followed soon after with a gritted out fuck.

luke’s eyes may be glazed over when he looks back in the mirror, but he doesn’t see himself in his position, he sees caligula.

#luke castellan #luke castellan x you #luke castellan blurb #luke castellan smut #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan pjo #luke castellan oneshot #pjo luke #charlie bushnell imagine #charlie bushnell x reader #charlie bushnell x you #charlie bushnell #charlie bushnell smut

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jaeyunverse · 10 months

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the 24-hour dating challenge

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

genres: fluff, crack, mutual pining, suggestive, best friends to lovers, influencer au

wc: 8145

warnings: profanity, hoon is a loser and down bad sawry, you can’t see the mutual pining but that’s a skill issue on my part bc i swear it’s there, fic is completely from sunghoon’s pov, this was supposed to be short and sweet but it got kinda spicy towards the end LMAOAO but nothing happens so dw!!

summary: being a famous youtuber isn’t easy, especially when you have to constantly come up with new ideas to keep your audience entertained. and this time, your viewers want you to date park sunghoon, your best friend of nearly a decade, for the entirety of 24 hours.

moodboard: one ☆ two

note: omg i didn’t think i would struggle w this oneshot but i lowkey did w the last part ☹️ i think it’s bc it has been a while since i raw dogged a fic HAHDHS anyway i hope the end doesn’t seem super abrupt and y’all enjoy! i would love to hear your thoughts + feedback :’)

inspiration: evelyn and fred (♡)

masterlist

“Your followers want me to do what?”

Sunghoon was positive he’d misheard you. However, part of him hoped you’d confirm the life-altering information you’d casually uttered without even bothering to look away from the TV screen.

“Hoon!” you exclaimed, your fingers aggressively moving about the gaming console. “Oh, my God, they’re coming after me! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK—” you screeched— “Nonononono I can’t take them by myself! You testicle-guzzling cocksucker, why did you die when I needed you the most?!”

Sunghoon watched you struggle warily. Your leg was bouncing with anxiety and your eyes were bulging out of their sockets. He wasn’t entirely sure you were breathing. Beads of sweat were clinging to your forehead, and your face was scrunched up in a weird, constipated expression.

There was a good chance you’d utter fouler insults if he disturbed you while playing, but he couldn’t stop himself from broaching the subject. “Are we just going to pretend you didn’t say the thing you just said?”

“The thing about you being a testicle-guzzling cocksucker?” you gritted. “No.”

Sunghoon rolled his eyes. “The thing about your followers wanting us to date for a video.”

For a few moments, you didn’t deign to acknowledge him. Then, as if a switch inside you had flipped, you pulled the TV’s plug and turned to face him. “Would it be weird?”

Wow. Okay, Sunghoon mused. I think it would be a fantastic idea and a dream come true, but I don’t trust myself around you. Even as a mere friend.

However, instead of voicing his thoughts, the boy simply shrugged. “I don’t know. We’ve been friends for several years now. I’m a regular on your YouTube channel and I think your fans are aware of the dynamics of our relationship. What do they mean when they say they want us to date? Physical intimacy aside, we already do everything couples do.”

“I think they want us to be romantic,” you admitted. “Go on a date, hold hands, cross some lines.”

“Cross some lines?” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, the corner of his lip curling in a smirk. “Is this you speaking or your subscribers?”

Groaning in exasperation, you shoved his shoulder. He fell back on the couch, laughing. “Shut up, dickface! You know I’ve been swamped this semester. My influencer gig has been seriously lacking. I need to step up—do what they want me to do. Besides, we only have to be girlfriend and boyfriend for 24 hours. It’s really not that big a deal. Are you in or not?”

Sunghoon took a few seconds to mull over your words. Sure, he would love to be your boyfriend for 24 hours. As long as his fantasies were brought to reality, he didn’t care if the whole relationship was fake and short-lived.

For far too long, he’d pined after you. He thought he was doing an excellent job at hiding his feelings, but then you decided to make vlogs for fun. That’s when shit actually went downhill.

Within a few years, you’d amassed a following of over 5 million on YouTube and 3 million on Instagram. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say you’d become somewhat of a local celebrity.

Being one of your closest friends, Sunghoon was often featured in your videos. Initially, he’d baulked at the idea of being filmed, but you’d worked your magic on him. The boy soon found himself being comfortable around cameras.

Even though Sunghoon never started his own YouTube channel, his popularity grew along with yours. His Instagram had garnered over two million followers, and courtesy of his good looks and attractive physique, he’d been offered a bunch of brand deals too.

You’d scowled at how far Sunghoon’s pretty privilege had gotten him. While you busted your ass coming up with unique ideas and editing your videos to perfection, all he needed to do was show up.

What you didn’t know, though, was that part of the reason he’d become a heartthrob among the youth was you.

You might have been dumb and blind, but your followers certainly were not. They’d realised how Sunghoon looked at you—his eyes always twinkled and a fond smile automatically adorned his lips whenever he caught sight of you.

To add to that, your fans had pointed out habits he didn’t even know he possessed. For example: idly braiding your strands; bringing you snacks whenever he swung by your apartment; saying hey, sunshine and giving you a side hug by way of greeting; disguising his compliments as insults.

The list was embarrassingly long.

They’d noticed the elastic he kept around his wrist at all times too—it was one of the two you’d used to tie his hair into little ponytails because you were convinced you could transform him into Boo from Monsters, Inc.

Sunghoon himself had forgotten the reason he wore the elastic around his wrist. All he knew was that it was yours and it felt right. But when he read the comments obsessing about it, he rushed to watch the video your fans were referring to.

And damn, they were right.

Sunghoon didn’t know if you’d seen the comments your fans regularly left on your various social media pages. You’d never mentioned anything about the community calling you “couple goals,” and he was too much of a coward to inquire if you were aware.

It was infuriating to know how transparent he was. Sunghoon wished he’d never gotten used to the camera and let slip his true self.

Perhaps this was the cost of gaining the boyfriend material label—his unrequited feelings exposed for the entire world to see.

Sunghoon would never admit it, but he’d spent the better part of a day reporting everyone who’d shipped him with you. The entire incident had truly made him go off the rails.

However, today’s revelation was unexpected. It was an opportunity. A chance to experience something he’d desired for many years. Suddenly, he found himself thanking those busybodies online instead of cussing them out for being ridiculously invested in his love life.

Sunghoon knew saying yes to your proposition would bite him in the ass later on. He knew he’d crave more of you once he got a taste of being your boyfriend, and giving this fake relationship a shot would definitely make it harder for him to get over you in the future. He knew he was a massive idiot for willingly indulging in impending heartbreak, but he could always cross that bridge when he came to it.

“Okay,” he said, meeting your gaze. “I’m in.”

There was a small chance Sunghoon was getting ahead of himself. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken it upon himself to organise the perfect date.

Being bitchless his entire life wasn’t doing him any favours in performing the task. Originally, he’d figured he would do a quick Google search and plan a day according to the results shown.

Unfortunately, most activities on the list were things the two of you already did on a normal basis. He’d racked his brain to think of a unique idea after scrolling through the internet for hours on end and coming up empty-handed.

Karaoke? Check. Restaurant hopping? Psh, you did that every weekend. Rock climbing? He was scared of heights. Bowling? Boring. Concert? None of your favourite artists were in town. Clubbing? He would rather spend quality time with you than get both of you wasted. Arcade? Basic and low-budget; he didn’t want to be cheap. Road-trip? Needed more than just 24 hours.

Sunghoon wondered if he was the problem. He’d shot down every option he’d come across so far by classifying it as not good enough. His stress levels were skyrocketing trying to make your 24-hour relationship perfect.

An entire day’s research had ended up being fruitless. You’d decided to go through with the challenge on Sunday, so he only had tomorrow to come up with something satisfactory.

Sighing, Sunghoon rubbed his eyes and closed his laptop. He eyed his phone on the bedside table for a few seconds, contemplating whether he should just call you and ask if you had anything in mind.

Before he could rethink his choice, he picked up the device and dialled you.

“Hey.” Your voice on the other end was deep and hoarse. A glance at the wall clock informed Sunghoon it was past midnight, and he’d likely woken you up. Guilt twisted his stomach. “Is something wrong?”

“Sorry, I didn’t realise it was late,” he mumbled. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Nah, it’s alright. I was watching a movie and passed out halfway through it. I needed to finish it anyway.”

Lying back on his bed, Sunghoon inquired, “Ready or not?”

“Yeah.” You huffed a laugh. “I finally got around to seeing it. Your choice, as always, is impeccable.”

Though you couldn’t see him, he raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you just say you dozed off in the middle of it?”

“Well, yeah, but that’s because I’m not a stupid nocturnal with no care for their sleep cycle and health.”

“Ouch.” Sunghoon clutched his chest. He could practically hear you roll your eyes. “No need to be so harsh.”

You hummed absent-mindedly, a yawn escaping your lips. “Was there a reason you hit me up, or can I get back to the movie?”

“Oh, yeah.” Sunghoon cleared his throat. “Do you have any suggestions for the challenge? I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but I haven’t come up with anything interesting.”

“Not really. I tried researching a bit, and there isn’t much we don’t already do. I’m starting to wonder if the only difference between a platonic and romantic relationship is physical intimacy. I’m sure we can reach a consensus though,” you added.

Sunghoon groaned. “This is proving to be more difficult than I—”

“WAIT!” you interrupted him with an exclaim. “How about a picnic date? We’ve been talking about going on one with the rest of our friends for ages, but it’s never worked out. Let’s go—just the two of us. We can choose outfits for each other too! I’ll order you something online, and you do the same for me. We can spend the rest of our day doing whatever you want.”

Sunghoon’s eyes widened. “That’s actually not a bad idea.”

“Right?” you giggled. “Maybe we can spread a blanket in the park under a tree and have a nice brunch. I’ll organise it!”

“I’ll take care of dinner and plan another activity for us to do between the two meals.” He grinned. “Looks like we might actually be able to pull this off, Y/N.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to film a video,” you admitted.

Sunghoon’s heart fluttered, and his lips widened into a smile. “Me too.”

Everything was set. You’d received the dress Sunghoon had ordered for you, and he’d taken delivery of the one you’d bought for him.

Upon opening the package, Sunghoon was surprised to see you’d accidentally ended up matching outfits. While he’d chosen a white summer dress with blue flowers for you, you’d picked out a white graphic tee and low-rise, faded blue, baggy jeans for him.

The fit was minimal—something that he would have purchased if he’d seen it in a mall.

Grabbing a pair of sunglasses and running a hand through his messy hair, Sunghoon made a beeline for his car. He shot you a quick text regarding his ETA before backing the vehicle out of his driveway.

[hoon]: omw be there in 10

[y/n]: okie i’ll wait for u. call me when ur outside!!!!!!!!!

Averting his gaze to the road again, Sunghoon took a deep breath. He’d finally planned the perfect day out. It took a lot of effort and coordination on his part, but the several favours he had to call in were worth it.

He’d probably gone over the top, especially considering the fact that this wasn’t even real, but he was determined not to half-ass anything. He had one chance, and he’d damn well make sure he didn’t waste it.

Turning the corner of your house, Sunghoon dialled your number. “I’m here.”

“Coming,” you popped, the sound of your footsteps descending the stairs audible through the call.

He grabbed the bouquet of flowers from the backseat, got rid of his sunglasses and exited the car. Your door opened a few seconds later, and Sunghoon’s world slipped from under his feet.

God, you were beautiful. So beautiful and so fucking pretty in the dress he’d chosen for you. The material fit you perfectly—it accentuated your upper body and was flowy from your lower waist. The dress was almost ankle-length with a side slit that began at your upper thigh. Your shoulders and collar bones were exposed, a gold pendant filling the empty space the deep square neckline left in its wake.

Your left shoulder was carrying a tote bag, and your right hand was holding a large picnic basket. Much to Sunghoon’s surprise, your free hand was wrapped around a bouquet too.

Snapping himself out of his reverie, he took the basket from you and placed it inside the car. “You look amazing, sunshine,” he breathed. “Just—wow.”

Giggling, you did a little twirl for him. “Thanks! I love what you’ve done with your hair. It makes you more attractive.”

Sunghoon mock-saluted and bowed dramatically, a chuckle escaping his lips. “Took me ten minutes to style it.” Glancing at the flowers in your hand, he asked, “You got me flowers?”

Maybe his eyesight was faulty, but Sunghoon felt your entire demeanour suddenly change. Tucking a stray strand behind your ear, you averted your gaze from his and shyly mumbled, “You took it upon yourself to plan the majority of the day. The least I could do was gift you some flowers.”

Right when Sunghoon thought he couldn’t love you any more than he already did, you went ahead and did this. He’d never received flowers in his life before, and the gesture meant everything to him.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he took the bouquet from you. “Thank you,” he said, voice heavy with gratitude. “Don’t kill me, but I don’t know the name of these flowers.”

Laughing, you pinched his cheek. “They’re asters.”

“What do they mean?”

“Why don’t you search it up when you go home?” you quipped. “Let me know once you find out.”

Sunghoon shrugged and handed you the flowers he’d bought for you. “Sunflowers for my sunshine.”

A wide grin broke across your lips. “They’re my favourite!”

“I know, dummy,” he said, flicking your forehead and opening the passenger’s door for you. “That’s why I got them for you.”

“Be nice!” you complained as he walked around the car. Taking a seat beside you, he started the engine and began driving. “I’m your girlfriend!”

“I just opened the door for you,” Sunghoon pointed out, promptly ignoring the way his heart rate picked up. “I think I’m being gentlemanly enough.”

“That’s not a word.”

“Is too.”

“Is not.”

“Is too.”

“This is why you get no bitches.”

“I got you.”

“Are you calling me a bitch?”

“I’m calling you mine.”

Snorting, you said, “Not your best save, Park.”

Biting down the smile threatening to break across his lips, Sunghoon said, “I’ll survive, but you should really start recording.”

“Right,” you gasped, your eyes widening. Fetching the DSLR from your tote bag and switching it on, you placed it on the dashboard carefully. After ensuring that the camera was rolling, you began, “I’m in the car with Sunghoon right now. He just picked me up, but I lowkey forgot to record it.”

“Y/N was too busy gawking at me,” Sunghoon teased and raised an eyebrow at the lens. “I’m too attractive for my own good.”

“Nobody’s buying your bullshit.” You rolled your eyes. “But if you do think he looks cute, it’s because I chose his outfit.”

“And if you think she looks beautiful, that’s because I chose her outfit.”

You nodded. “He did. We thought kicking off the challenge this way would be cool. Clothes were ordered by both of us individually, which means neither of us had any idea what had been chosen by the other until we met ten minutes ago. Crazy how we still ended up matching.”

“We exchanged flowers too. Y/N got me asters, and I got her sunflowers.”

“Hoon has no idea what asters signify,” you commented and nudged him with your elbow. “He didn’t even know the flowers I gifted him were asters.”

“Don’t shame me for not being a nerd!” Sunghoon defended himself. “Only you can be the kind of person who reads The Language of Flowers and indulges in floriography because they’re bored.”

“Aaaand the worst boyfriend award goes to this guy sitting right next to me,” you announced, shooting him a nasty glare. “He’s been annoying me from the moment he came to pick me up.”

“I opened the door for you!”

“How long are you going to milk the one gentlemanly thing you did?”

Sunghoon scoffed in disbelief. “I thought gentlemanly wasn’t a word.”

“I lied,” you popped and grinned cheekily.

“The problem with this relationship is you, woman, not me.”

Laughing, you turned to the camera again. “We’re going on multiple dates today. I’ve organised a picnic brunch, and Hoon has organised dinner.”

“It’s a surprise,” Sunghoon explained. “But I can assure you that it’s going to be the coolest thing ever.”

You hummed in agreement. “I believe him. He always gives the best surprises. Anyway, I’m going to stop recording now, and I’ll see you guys once we reach the park. I think we’re almost there.”

“Five minutes,” Sunghoon provided.

You grabbed the DSLR and brought it close to your face. Cupping your hand over the lens as if you were telling it a secret, you whispered, “T-minus five minutes to the best picnic date ever. Bye!”

Despite it being June and most kids being on vacation, the park wasn’t crowded.

Even though it was almost 10:30 and the sun was merciless, there were plenty of people jogging on the track. Sunghoon spotted a laughter club in session a few hundred metres away from where you’d laid your blanket under the tree.

Thanks to the clear sky and blowing wind, more than a few people had taken out their own picnic baskets and decided to enjoy the weather. A bunch of middle-schoolers were playing basketball about fifty metres away from your tree, and though Sunghoon would have appreciated the peace, it was fun to watch them run around on the court.

You’d set up the camera immediately upon arrival. Even though it was still rolling, neither of you were aware of it. It lay forgotten to the side, and as far as Sunghoon was concerned, it was just the two of you.

“It’s a beautiful day,” you mumbled, gathering your strands and tying them up in a messy bun. “Really fucking hot though.”

“You have some relief, at least,” Sunghoon said, pointing at your exposed shoulders and flowing dress. “I’m fully covered and positively dying in here.”

You smiled sheepishly. “Oops. That’s my bad.”

Laughing, Sunghoon ran a hand through his hair. “What did you get for us to eat in that basket of yours?” he asked. “It was pretty heavy.”

“Nothing much,” you answered and dragged the basket closer to you. Opening the lid, you pulled out Tupperware containing watermelons, muskmelons and mango slices. You’d also prepared a heart-shaped pizza and baked half a dozen macarons. Finally, you fetched a bottle filled with peach-iced tea and a pair of champagne glasses.

Sunghoon gaped at the assortment of food you’d arranged. “Did you make everything by yourself?”

“I wish,” you snorted. “Mom made the macarons and delivered them via FedEx. I don’t have the patience to bake.”

“Okay, but this is still crazy,” Sunghoon said, amazement evident in his tone. “The amount of effort you’ve put in is insane.”

Blushing, you shoved his shoulder. “Stop! You’re embarrassing me!”

“I’m complimenting you!” he exclaimed, and served himself a piece of the pizza. “Bringing homemade food is the best thing you could’ve done. And God, this is delicious. I’m going to wife you right now.”

You laughed incredulously. “Slow down, Romeo. We just started dating. How about you show me a good time first?”

This. This was exactly the reason why Sunghoon didn’t entirely hate being stuck in the friend zone. Because no matter how much you told people you were just friends and there was nothing going on between the two of you, you were constantly flirting.

The only reason he was afraid of confessing his feelings was that he didn’t know much of the flirting was real. It was the dynamic of your friendship—neither of you thought it was weird making suggestive comments. You were too comfortable with each other to let such things bother you.

Sunghoon could no longer tell whether your relationship was still platonic. He was too hopelessly in love with you to keep knowing the difference between a joke and genuineness. His heart surged every time you said something only a romantic partner would, and his heart shattered every time he reminded himself that you didn’t actually mean it.

You never meant it.

But Sunghoon was a selfish person. He was going to take what he could get. He would rather be unintentionally strung along than give these moments up. The minuscule part of him that hated you for the pain you were causing him was nothing compared to the part of him that loved you unconditionally.

Forcing himself out of his reverie, Sunghoon raised an eyebrow at you. “In front of everyone?”

“You’re so gross!” you snickered, your eyes shining with mischief. “I obviously mean when we get home!”

I’m going to kill myself, Sunghoon thought. I’m going to kill myself before she kills me.

The two of you had finished eating almost thirty minutes ago. Now, you were just lying on the blanket and staring at the sky, having conversations about the most random topics.

You were talking shit about some know-it-all guy in your physics class, but Sunghoon wasn’t really paying any attention to what you were saying.

He was still stuck on what had happened an hour ago when you’d urged him to feed you because “that was what couples did.”

Sunghoon didn’t give a shit what couples did. His biggest problem at the moment was his mind replaying the incident like a broken record. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. He’d already known he was being an idiot by agreeing to come on this date, but he never thought he’d regret his decision this quickly.

“Are you okay?”

Blinking, Sunghoon spared you a glance. “Peachy.”

“Those kids over there are calling us,” you told him, pointing to the basketball court. “We should go see what they want.”

Nodding, he pulled himself to his feet and gave you a hand. Leaving the DSLR under the tree wouldn’t have been safe, so you grabbed it and the two of you made your way to the children waiting for you.

“Hey,” a perky boy greeted you enthusiastically. “I’m Hyun. We’ve been playing basketball for the past several hours. The team that wins 6 out of 11 matches has to treat the other team to ice cream. Unfortunately, 2 of our friends left, and now it’s just the 6 of us divided into 2 teams. We really don’t want to play half-court, but we can’t play full-court with a team of only 3 each. Do you guys want to play the last few matches with us? One match only lasts 15 minutes.”

Sunghoon exchanged a look with you. Then, you glanced at your spot under the tree. Lastly, you checked out your outfit—the slit exposing most of your leg and the lack of coverage for your shoulders.

“I have a pair of shorts and a shirt in my car,” he informed you.

You took a moment to weigh your options. Honestly, playing in the open when the sun was out to torture everyone didn’t sound appealing. There was also the issue of you needing to switch outfits, and you didn’t know if you wanted to take the effort of changing inside Sunghoon’s car.

But kids had always been your weak spot and the little rascals were staring you down with their puppy eyes.

You sighed. “Fine. We’re in.”

“I haven’t played in a while,” Sunghoon admitted. “I think it’s been over 6 months.”

“I haven’t played since varsity girls either,” you said. The kids had left to take a break a few minutes ago and the court was empty save for the two of you.

You’d changed into his clothes, but the shirt was too long for you. So, you’d requested him to tie the extra into a knot at the back. Thankfully, the shorts could be tightened at the waist with lace.

Sunghoon could get used to you wearing his wardrobe.

He idly dribbled the ball the kids had given to him for safekeeping while you stretched your stiff muscles. “Then I guess we get to evaluate whose skills have become more rusty.”

“Free shots?” you asked, eyes alight with a competitive fire and a smirk tugging at your lips. “We can test our aim and get a feel of the baskets on this court. It would be a good warm-up exercise.”

Sunghoon poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. “Bring your camera here. Record me from up close. I’m going to go for a layup.”

“Wow,” you scoffed but did as you were told nonetheless. Before stepping onto the court, you’d filmed Sunghoon and yourself, explaining that you were about to play basketball with a bunch of kids. Naturally, you’d decided not to record the match in order to respect the privacy of the children. “Don’t you think you’re getting ahead of yourself? I’m telling you right now that I won’t care if you miss the shot. I will use it to humiliate you in the video.”

Sunghoon rolled his eyes.

You switched on the DSLR and pointed the lens at him. “We’re doing free shots till the kids come back from their break,” you said. “Hoon’s convinced he can land a layup even though he hasn’t touched a ball for several months.”

“Don’t condescend me,” Sunghoon grumbled as he walked to the 3-pointer line. “It’s not like I’ve completely forgotten how to play. I’m pretty sure I can nail a simple shot.”

“We’ll see.”

“You know what,” he called. “I’m going to dedicate this layup to you so that when I make it, you’ll know not to doubt my athletic prowess.”

All you did was raise an eyebrow.

“This one’s for you, babe!” Sunghoon announced and began running. The ball was a number 6—smaller than the size 7 he was used to. The grip was worn due to excessive use, but he still had complete control over it.

However, he misjudged the distance from the hoop. He realised a second too late that he’d taken the first step of the layup later than he was supposed to.

The ball collided against the rim and rebounded.

“Air ball!” you hollered and zoomed into Sunghoon’s face. “Athletic prowess found to be missing! What a shame!”

His cheeks, along with the tips of his ears, were red with embarrassment. He couldn’t even bring himself to look into the camera after making such a big fool out of himself.

“I am begging you, Y/N. Can we please edit that part out?”

“I’m kicking your ass, Park.”

“I suggest you take the over-confidence down a notch.”

You smirked, dribbling the basketball in place. Sunghoon was blocking the way to your side of the court, and each of the kids on your team had a man on them. Playing in the sun for so long must have tired them out because no one was making an effort to get rid of the shield standing in front of them.

The last match was a 1v1 at this point.

“I’m not in the habit of lying,” you said, and dribbled the ball from between his legs.

Sunghoon cursed under his breath and chased after you, but you were speeding away from him faster than he could keep up. The layup was clean and effortless. You barely broke a sweat.

“SUCK IT!” you screamed. “Your team is going down!”

Sunghoon rolled his eyes. He watched your team—Hyun, Chul and Dae—do the victory dance you’d taught them. It was hilarious because none of you had any coordination. The arm wave move made it seem as though all of you were having a seizure.

“We still have fifteen seconds of the match left,” he pointed out, and pat Iseul’s back in reassurance. “Don’t go celebrating just yet.”

“You’re four points behind. Just admit defeat,” Dae said. “We’ve won!”

“We’re not surrendering,” Hajoon said angrily. “Sunghoon will make sure we win.”

“Boys!” you interrupted loudly. “Let’s finish the championship sportingly. We’re playing for fun.”

Chul muttered something under his breath that Sunghoon and you chose to ignore.

“Seojoon,” Sunghoon called quietly. “Now that we have possession of the ball, I need you to pass it to me from below. Then I need Hajoon and Iseul to gang up on Y/N. Don’t push or shove; just keep her away. The worst thing we can do is commit a foul. The rest of the boys won’t be a problem, but I’ll need Seojoon to act as my shield in case they try to take the ball from me. Do not let anyone come near me under any circumstances. I’m going to go for a 5-pointer.”

The trio audibly gasped.

Iseul nervously asked, “Are you sure you can score?”

“Not without the three of you helping me out.” Sunghoon nodded. “Y/N is quick and slippery. Keep your eye on her. We’ll lose if she gets possession of the ball. I’ll take care of the rest.”

The boys let out a sound of agreement and dispersed, taking their respective positions.

Sunghoon searched for you, and when your gazes met, he made a gesture of slitting his throat. This time, you rolled your eyes and dismissed him without a word.

“Let’s start,” you announced with a clap and got into position. He noticed you were standing away from the basket. The rest of your team was too. It dawned on Sunghoon that you’d positioned everyone in a way that would prevent them from committing a foul which would grant his team free throws.

It was smart and reasonable of you to think that way. Sunghoon wasn’t known for landing 5-pointers. Heck, he never even attempted them. He usually went for layups and 3-pointers.

Focusing on the game, he took a deep breath. Seojoon passed the ball at him as soon as you yelled Go!

Sunghoon dribbled to your side of the court immediately. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw you hesitate, but your mouth parted in realisation the second you caught onto what he was doing.

“Stay on her!” he yelled at Iseul and Hajoon. “Don’t let her go.”

Sunghoon dodged the rest of your teammates. Seojoon wasn’t doing a good job at keeping them away, but he didn’t have enough time to dwell on it. He could do this by himself as long as you were out of the picture.

Sunghoon eyed the basket and bent at his knees, gathering enough momentum to jump. He’d been hitting the gym more often, and he hoped to God his hard work wouldn’t fail him at such a crucial time.

Exhaling once, Sunghoon jumped and let the ball fly across the court. The moment the ball was out of his hands, you crashed into him, knocking him to the ground and falling on top of him.

“Ow,” he muttered, his arm wrapping itself around your waist on instinct. “That’s foul play.”

Before you could bite back, Sunghoon heard someone scream, “No way! Sunghoon did it!”

Sunghoon grinned and craned his neck to look at his teammates. A laugh tumbled past his lips when he saw them doing the floss dance and playfully teasing the losing team.

The sound of your groan made him avert his attention to you. You’d raised your head to find out whether Sunghoon had made the basket, and upon realising that you’d lost the match, you let it fall on his chest again. “Man,” you grumbled in defeat.

“Aw,” Sunghoon teased. “It happens to the best of us.”

“Who asked?”

Snorting, Sunghoon loosened his grip around your waist. Rolling off him, you laid down on your back in the middle of the court next to him. “Am I supposed to buy you ice cream now?”

He checked his watch before answering, “Nah. Let’s go home and freshen up. It’s almost time for my date.”

“The beach,” you marvelled. Both of you were standing on a cliff overlooking the expanse of sand and water. “I should have guessed.”

Sunghoon agreed. It shouldn’t have been hard to pinpoint the venue of the date once he’d requested you to wear shorts and sandals. However, your obliviousness had worked in his favour.

The entire thing was supposed to be a surprise. It was supposed to sweep you off your feet.

He averted his attention from the ocean to find that you were already staring at him. A soft smile was adorning your face, and with the breeze ruffling your unbound hair, you looked nothing short of a fairy tale.

“Do you remember the last time we came here?” you inquired, and returned your gaze to the view again. Sunghoon didn’t bother to take his eyes off you—he couldn’t take his eyes off you. The reflection of the sunset in your irises was too intoxicating. “Jay, Jake, Yizhuo and Isa were with us. We spent the entire night talking around a bonfire. I couldn’t keep myself awake once the clock struck two. You tucked me close and let me rest my head on the space between your shoulder and neck. You kissed my forehead and promised me you’d wake me up in a few hours.”

Sunghoon didn’t say anything. He only kept staring at the image of the sunset in your eyes—the way the ocean consumed the ball of fire the same way his love for you consumed his very being.

Love shouldn’t hurt this much, he thought. It shouldn’t be this painful.

“I remember the way you smelt,” you continued. “Like vanilla and sandalwood. I remember wanting to pull you closer because you also smelt like home. I hated moving to a new city for college. I missed our hometown. I missed life being simpler. I missed the old times. But those brief moments before I fell asleep reminded me that not everything had changed. The clumsy boy I’d met in kindergarten was still with me. Sure, he was a bigger pain in my ass than he had been when we were kids, but he hadn’t left my side even once. And I knew he wouldn’t for a long time.”

“You’ve been the only constant in my life, Sunghoon,” you mumbled and turned your body towards his. Snaking your arms around his waist, you pulled him into a hug. “Thank you for being a good friend to me. I love you.”

And though Sunghoon knew you didn’t mean it the way he wished you did, he returned your embrace and confessed, “I love you too.”

“What the fuck?” you whispered and let go of Sunghoon’s hand to jog ahead. “WHAT THE FUCK? IS THAT A CANDLELIGHT DINNER?”

Laughing in amusement, he pocketed his hands and watched you freak out. The beach was usually crowded at this hour, but he’d asked Jake—the surfer of their group—if there was anywhere he could spend the evening undisturbed.

“Your eyes do not deceive you,” he joked as he approached you. “I know it’s kind of corny, but this was the most romantic date setting I could think of.”

“Corny?” you exclaimed incredulously. “This is amazing!” Nudging him with your elbow, you teased, “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“You would have known a lot more if you’d asked me out before,” Sunghoon smirked, a suggestive undertone to his comment. “But I suppose we can make do with what we have now.”

You snorted. “You’re insufferable.” Then added, “I don’t want to shoot us having dinner here. Maybe I’ll just film the date set-up and our outfits, but I think I want this evening to remain between us only.”

“Oh.” Sunghoon raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, sure, that works for me. Do you want me to get your camera?”

The next five minutes were spent recording the date he had organised. The food was prepared by Jay, whose chef father had taught him a thing or two before the boy moved to the city for college. Sunghoon had dragged Yizhuo and Isa with him to shop for decor.

They’d bought a soft blanket which was now spread on the sand. He’d also purchased six couch pillows to make the setting cosier. Fairy lights covered the perimeter of the throw.

The coffee table Sunghoon had stolen from himself and brought to the beach was filled with all kinds of your favourite food, a scented candle burning in the centre of it.

Since he’d known he couldn’t escape you to set up everything that he’d planned, he’d begged his friends to do it for him. Obviously, they’d teased him about it on their group chat, but he’d ignored them the way he always did.

“I have another surprise,�� Sunghoon popped as the two of you settled down on opposite sides of the table. “I don’t know if you’re going to be up for it though.”

“Is it the wine?” you asked, eyeing the corked bottle partially hidden under one of the pillows. “Because I saw it long back, and I am all for getting drunk.”

Sunghoon chuckled. “Nah, it’s not the wine, but yeah, we’re getting drunk. There’s absolutely no doubt about it. But,” he continued, “I’d been going through Pinterest to search for date ideas when I called you in the middle of your movie a few nights ago. After our talk, I remembered you’d made this board with Karina when you were a thirteen-year-old.”

You gasped and reached over the table to smack his arm. “You stalked my Pinterest?! That is so uncool! There’s tons of embarrassing shit on there! I should have privated those boards when I had the chance,” you muttered to yourself.

“Then I wouldn’t have rented a projector for us to watch a movie after we finish dinner.” Sunghoon grinned cheekily. “We are not watching some sappy romcom though,” he warned. “Soap2Day came in clutch so we can watch Suzume or Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 3. Your choice.”

Your mouth parted in surprise. For a few moments, you didn’t say anything. With a raised eyebrow, Sunghoon watched you struggle to form the words. “Okay, I know it was creepy to stalk you on Pinterest—”

“NO!” you blurted, your eyes widening. “It’s not creepy! I just—No one has ever done anything of this sort for me. I don’t know what to say except… thank you.”

Before he could reply, you buried your face in your hands, and muttered, “Gosh, I sound so ungrateful, but I really do appreciate it. More than I can express.” Raising your head, you looked straight into his eyes. “I have this extremely strong urge to kiss you right now. Would it be fine with you if I acted on it?”

Sunghoon stopped breathing. His smile dropped, and his heart skipped a beat. The entire world could have crumbled, and he would have remained frozen in place, trying to make sense of what you’d just said.

“W—what?” he croaked.

You broke off the eye contact and dropped your gaze to the ground. “Sorry. That was stupid of me—”

“Yes,” Sunghoon breathed. “Yes, it would be fine with me.”

You exhaled, appearing visibly relieved, and that somehow made him feel better about the sharp turn the evening had taken. Of course, he was thrilled you wanted to kiss him, but part of him couldn’t help but wonder if you’d regretted voicing your thoughts.

Licking your lips, you unfolded your legs and scooted away from the table. Instead of standing up, you got on your knees and made your way towards him.

Sunghoon also moved away from the table to make space for you, and once you reached him, you swung your legs on either side of him. Straddling his lap, you towered over him.

Snaking your arms around his shoulder, you glanced at his mouth.

Even though it was driving Sunghoon out of his mind to not close the distance between your lips, he let you take your time. You traced your thumb across his lower lip and then shifted your hand to the back of his neck.

Weaving your fingers through his hair, you let your eyes flutter shut and lowered your mouth over his.

Sunghoon’s entire universe exploded into shards of molten light. A tidal wave of emotions crashed into him, setting his nerves on fire and making fireworks explode inside his chest.

The boy couldn’t have kissed you back any faster. Tilting his head to the side, he pulled you closer by the nape.

Settling in his lap, you tugged at his hair, the nails of your other hand digging into his shoulder.

A groan slipped past Sunghoon’s lips. God, he’d coveted the taste of you for so long, and now that he was finally kissing you, he realised he’d never estimated the magnitude of his love for you accurately before.

Because this… this was everything. Sunghoon felt on top of the world, and pure euphoria was coursing through his veins. He couldn’t get enough of you. A single kiss would never be enough to satiate him. The floodgates were thrown open, and the thought of this being a one-time, impulsive thing made his gut twist painfully.

He knew he needed to tell you. Right here, right now, he needed to tell you the truth.

“Y/N.” Sunghoon gasped, breaking the kiss. He was leaning back now, his weight resting on his left elbow. The desperation and urgency with which you’d come onto him had been more than he could handle. “I need to tell you something.”

Your eyes remained glued to his lips and there was a tinge of disappointment on your face. As if you didn’t want to stop. As if you wanted to keep going.

With a jolt, it dawned on him that you probably wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

The epiphany alone was enough for Sunghoon to consider ditching his plan of confessing his feelings and instead close the distance between your mouths again. But, he steeled his nerves and pushed himself into a sitting position.

He didn’t bother asking you to get up from his lap nor did he bother removing his left hand from your waist. If this confession went sideways, he’d end up losing you anyway.

“What is it?” you whispered, your disappointed expression giving way to concern and nervousness. “Did I go too far? I’m sorry—”

“Stop,” Sunghoon ground out. “Please stop. Let me speak.”

You pursed your lips, but he could tell you were scared shitless. There was fear in your eyes, and he hated making you feel as though you’d done something wrong when you’d given him the one thing he’d wanted more than anything else.

“I…” Sunghoon started, forcing himself to find the courage to say the words. “Y/N, I love you.”

There it was. He’d done it. The cat was out of the bag, and all he could do now was wait with bated breath.

Your mouth parted open, but no sound came out of it. Your face was unreadable. It was void of any emotion. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Sunghoon tore his gaze from yours and let out a humourless laugh. “Right. That’s okay—”

But then he felt your hands grabbing his jaw, making him pin his attention on you again.

There was pure, unadulterated joy on your countenance, a wide smile adorning your lips. “I love you too,” you breathed. “Oh, my God, Sunghoon, I love you too.”

Sunghoon blinked. “What?” he mumbled, his mouth set in a pout due to your squishing his cheeks.

You leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his puckered lips. “I love you too,” you repeated.

Gripping your hands, Sunghoon removed them from his face and stared up at you in bewilderment. “You’re serious?”

“Hasn’t it been obvious to you?”

“Hasn’t it been obvious to you?” he shot back. “I’ve loved you since high school.”

You snorted. “So have I.”

“Sophomore year.”

“Same.”

“I knew right after the homecoming ball.”

“Sucker!” you exclaimed. “I knew right after the game!”

Sunghoon frowned. “It’s not a competition, Y/N,” he said, and then added, “But if it were, I would win. The amount of effort I’ve put into hiding my feelings is insane.”

“Sure,” you drawled. “That’s why all my followers keep saying it’s clear you’re in love with me.”

The tips of his ears turned red in embarrassment. “You saw the comments?”

“Of course I did,” you answered, your voice soft. “I just never believed them. The notion never seemed possible. Isn’t it crazy how it was real this entire time?”

Sunghoon chuckled. “We’re idiots.”

“We are,” you said, smiling at him in affection. “To be honest, I wouldn’t have ever said anything about what I truly felt if you hadn’t found the courage to confess to me.”

“I know, I know,” you defended and rolled your eyes when he gave you a pointed look. “I did ask if I could kiss you. Trust me, I was more surprised than you were. Heck, I was fully prepared to play it off by spouting some bullshit in case you said no. What you did for me, Sunghoon… I couldn’t keep the urge inside me anymore. I didn’t care about the consequences. I didn’t care that there would be no turning back—I knew I had to take the risk. And I’m glad that I did.”

Sunghoon’s heart swelled with joy. “Me too.”

“Wait,” you said quickly. “How’d you know you were in love with me?”

Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, he answered, “While we were dancing at homecoming. You didn’t have a single move in you, but you didn’t wanna be the only one not dancing, so you started doing what you’d learnt in Zumba. It was hilarious—watching you be clueless but still killing it on the dance floor. It made me proud of you, but more than that, it made me realise what I felt for you.”

“Aw,” you cooed. “That’s really sweet of you, but I definitely knew what I was doing.”

“Let’s not ruin the moment by lying to each other.”

“You’re such a dork!”

“It’s your turn now!” Sunghoon grinned. “Tell me!”

“Okay, but you have to promise not to judge me,” you warned. “My story is embarrassing.”

Locking his pinkie with yours, he promised, “I won’t.”

“Remember how you sat with Yeojin at the game?” you asked, to which Sunghoon nodded. “Well, I’d been saving seats for us. I fought a lot of people to keep the seat next to me vacant, but you didn’t even acknowledge me when I called your name. Yeojin caught hold of you, and you went to sit with her without bothering to check if I was around.” Shrugging, you mumbled, “That made me mad and jealous and upset. Not just at her, but at both of you. I’d never been possessive over my friends, and I’d never felt such ugly emotions before. There was only one reasonable explanation.”

Sunghoon’s eyebrows flew up. “Woah. I’m sorry for what I did.”

“Nah, it’s cool. It was loud at the game and I don’t think you heard me.” You laughed and waved him away. “I was being petty. And I know it’s not cute like your story, but that was what made me realise there was a chance I loved you.”

“Cute or not, that was the best story I’ve ever heard,” he said cheekily. “Also, don’t get me wrong—I would love nothing more than have you sit in my lap, but I think we should finish dinner first. Let’s finish what you started once we’re done eating.”

Your eyes widened, and you scrambled away from him. “Right.”

“Wait!” Sunghoon grabbed your wrist before you could get up and go back to the other side of the table. “The asters—what do they signify?”

You smiled and leaned closer to his face, pressing the gentlest of kisses to his cheek.

“Love.”

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jnkgrnde · 3 months

Text

— no time to die, clarisse la rue, pjo

summary — in which, in place of silena, it’s you who dies from the drakon.

pairings — clarisse la rue x black!fem!reader (daughter of poseidon)

content includes — mc death dont jump me 🙁, clarisse pushing percy, also percy crying, angst sawry again, clarisse + sadness don’t jump me, gets a lil graphic

authors note — got inspired while i was editing ep 8 im sorry 🙏🏾

it was during the battle of manhattan when it happened.

you and clarisse got into an argument over her refusing to help the camp, all because her pride overshadowed her morals, her humanity.

the conflict escalated, eventually ending in her telling you she didn’t care if you stood with her or against her, you could go and die in the war and she wouldn’t care.

a harsh, burning slap and the slamming of the cabins doors came soon after that.

it was the next morning. all of camp, except for the ares cabin, were getting final things situated. you and percy were inside the poseidon cabin, saying goodbye to your second home for what could be the last time.

percy could see the anxiety and stress on your face. you knew clarisse didn’t mean what she said, but she still hasn’t apologized. “we’ll make it.” percy told you. if there was one person who could read you other than clarisse, it was percy.

you looked up at him. tears were welling up. you knew you were one of the last people who needed to be weak, especially in a time like this; you and percy were the main ones leading the camp into this.

“i’m scared, percy.” you told him. “what if i don’t make it back to her—“ “you will. we will make it back, or i’ll haunt the gods for as long as they live. so, forever.” you laughed at him. you loved him, fully biological or not.

the conch blew, signaling that it was time to go. you looked at each other with knowing; today could be your last day, whether you liked it or not.

“come on.” you grabbed all that you needed before heading out and shutting the doors to the old cabin. outside, there stood waiting the entire camp. it was silent, a deathly wave of uneasiness washed over the crowd.

you surveyed the crowd. annabeth, silena, and more. people you’ve spent a majority of your life with so far. you shouted out a word of command, and soon the footsteps of soon to be soldiers echoed through the camp and into the fields, soon off to manhattan. clarisse and the ares cabin were in the back, standing their ground.

you pressed your lips together firmly. you let your eyes show it — you still loved her no matter what, and she knew that.

clarisse let you walk into your own death, cemented in stone by her herself.

the air electrified when the drakon was unleashed.

dust was kicked up in the air. bodies of sleeping civilians were slowly clearing out from the campers getting them to safety. the hotel where everyone was residing was getting full to burst, injured campers everywhere.

you were tending a younger child of hermes wounds when you heard the roar of the creature. a sickening silence fell over the room. “oh, gods.” you whispered.

it had to be you.

there was barely anyone left; half of the campers were injured. the other half were off fighting kronos’ soldiers.

it just had to be you.

you looked at the hermes child you were tending to. you wrapped them up as quickly as you could before ascending up the stairs. you saw percy squatting next to annabeth. “y/n?” annabeth whispered out.

“what’s wrong?” percy turned around when he heard her say your name. “percy,” you rushed forward to grip his shoulders. “i’m so, so proud of you. everyone’s proud of you.” the drakon’s wings flapped loudly.

“what are you talking about?” he furrowed his eyebrows. he was so confused, not realizing what was happening. your panicked eyes looked frantically at the sky. “i love you. more than you know. always remember that, okay? you’re going to lead us to victory, and i’ll be right there beside you.”

percy’s gears started turning. “no. no, what are you doing?” he shot up, his face morphing into pain and desperation. “percy i’m sorry. i’m so sorry.” you unsheathed your sword. “y/n, we promised!” you ran to the dood you came through, not being able to deal with the pain of looking at your brother for one last time.

“we promised you’d make it back to her!”

you could your heart squeezing. squeezing so hard that it broke into a million pieces.

“she’ll.. we’ll be okay.”

you said anything, just to not have to face reality of how clarisse would feel.

clarisse felt like something was off. maybe it was the look in your eye before you left, or maybe it was the way the clouds were starting to form, indicating a storm was coming. her heartbeat pumped a little faster when the sun wasn’t shining and thunder started to clap.

she didn’t feel good.

“we’re leaving, let’s go.” she threw a bag at michael yew. “what?” “you heard me.” he was confused. clarisse was usually never one to back down from a standoff. “why?” clarisse sighed out frustratingly. “i just have a feeling. round up the chariot and everyone else. be at the front of the camp in five minutes.”

michael wanted to be defiant but there was a look in clarisse’s eye, telling him all he needed to know.

“dad, if you’re going to be a good father to me one last time, let it be this time.” you whispered out. you felt a tug in your stomach, and a fire hydrant beside you exploded. you forced the water to lift you into the air and follow the drakon.

the golden creature wasn’t hard to spot, although it was much bigger than you imagined. the sound of thunder boomed above you. “that’s probably not good.” the drakon started to head towards the main group of fighters who were attacking kronos’ army. you yelled at a curse before speeding towards it. you came below it, cutting it off.

you slashed your sword against it’s neck. the creature roared in anger, and soon fluids fell onto your face. you groaned in disgust but the drakon just roared at you.

“man, i heard you.” you willed the water to bring you on top of the drakon. the drakon roared as you gripped it’s horns. “come on!” and you reared the drakon back. the drakon turned and flapped around, kicking up dust.

its greenish-yellowish eyes glowed throughout the sky. you kicked around it’s body, trying to find a soft spot before finally finding one around its ribs. “there you go.” you stabbed your sword into its ribcage, and fluid fell onto your leg. you wailed in pain at the burning sensation. the drakon bellowed in anger and pain at the stab.

the acid was quickly burning it’s way down to the bone of your leg, and you knew you had to move fast. the drakon start moving faster, and you started to lose your balance. you spotted the roof of a building, and gripped the horns as hard as you could to steer it towards the rooftop.

you landed and tumbled off of the back of the drakon. “oh my gods.” you cursed out, finally feeling the acid burn. muscle was starting to show, soon to be bone. the drakon hissed out, hot air reaching you. you were quick to try and stand up, struggling with your leg.

you used your sword as crutch, before lifting it and tightening your grip. you stared the drakon down, accepting what was about to happen. you started walking towards the drakon, picking up speed.

you let out a war cry, knowing it would be your last.

the ares cabin rode into the city on the chariot with clarisse leading. she knew something was off when it slowly started to rain.

“where is she?” she scanned to find you below, not thinking to look further. “oh, gods. clarisse!” one of her siblings called. clarisse looked up, and her heart dropped. there stood you, facing off against the drakon.

“no, no, no!” she steered the chariot towards you. she watched as the drakon slashed it’s claws deep into your stomach. blood was starting to dribble out of your mouth, but you didn’t dare stop. you couldn’t.

the fate of the world depended on it.

you were tired. so, so tired.

you were losing your life force. your face paled, your blood seeped out of you in multiple places, but you refused to give up. you refused to let percy, clarisse and the others live in a world that was dominated by kronos, so you pushed.

it was almost over. the drakon was almost done with you, yet you kept fighting.

‘please..’

suddenly, you felt your body vibrate. there was a pull in your stomach, and everything fell quiet. the fighting below you stopped.

you panted, looking at the drakon. “i’m not letting you go until i win.” hydrants exploded, and ocean water met you on top of the building. “so if i have to die to save them, you’re going with me.”

water circled around you, and you ran forward, launching yourself onto the drakon. a familiar voice yelled out, but before you could realize who it was, you stabbed the drakon in the neck. you willed the water to bring you to the hudson river, and you hung on as tight as possible.

you guided the water back into the ocean, and soon, you were submerged in the dirty hudson river.

there was silence for a moment, before you were launched out of the river. the drakon was killed and submerged, the water spirits making sure of it.

the water guided you onto the streets of manhattan, close to the hotel. you were in pain, and you knew the ocean couldn’t help you this time. campers sped out of the hotel, and percy pushed through them. he ran towards you, cradling your head.

“no, please— why aren’t you healing?!” before he could get an answer, clarisse reached the street. she jumped out of the chariot before it could fully land and sprinted towards you. “y/n!” she moved percy out of the way before taking you.

“‘m sorry.” you didn’t know who you were apologizing to at that point. clarisse, percy, both of them, the camp? it was all a blur. “don’t be sorry, sweet girl, please.”

“percy..” you whispered out. “is she okay? is annabeth okay?” you asked. annabeth was like the little sister you never had. she was one of the people you loved most, and it pained you even more to leave her too. “she is, she’s healing. if you can just- just pull through, just live, you can see her— we can see her.”

tears welled up. you looked back at clarisse. tears were streaming down her cheeks, her lips trembling. “i shouldn’t have said all those things to you, y/n, i’m so sorry.” she sobbed. “this is my fault-“

you brought a hand up to her face to wipe her tears. “clar, it’s okay. it’s over.” your breathing started to get wheezy. “it was my time anyways. it’s okay.” you repeatedly told her. “i love you. always will.” you told her. your breathing evened out, eventually coming to a stop. “no, gods, please!” she usually never prays to the gods, but just this once she wished your father would be useful and bring you back, but nothing.

soon, a glow surrounded your body. it was like they were holograms, the sea creatures. there were fish, stingrays, sharks. they formed a circle, eventually rotating up towards the sky.

the ocean had come to say goodbye.

everyone watched as the creatures left, and the glow around you soon dissipated. it was silent, before it started raining, announcing the death of a child of poseidon.

rain fell on clarisse as she watched you. the rain fell onto your face, blending in with your tears that slid down your cheeks right before, clearing the path of dust on them.

she held you tighter as she let out a loud, blood curdling scream. a scream of anguish, a shout of pain, as she realized that you were truly gone.

#clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x you #clarisse x reader #clarisse pjo #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson fic #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians

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juyolore · 2 years

Text

look at me | lee juyeon

pairing: boyfriend!juyeon x fem!reader

genre: smut, established relationship

wc: 3.2k

warnings: smut…(sawry), dom!juyeon, service top!reader, slight spanking, slight begging, degradation, no real choking but his hands still make it to your neck lmao, creampie, juyeon definitely has a size kink so read and weep, sorry if i’m missing anything!

a/n: tried my best to proofread this so pls forgive any mistakes, it also was drafted out of nowhere so it’s probably shit hhh

was everything actually moving in slow motion or were you just in that deep?

so entranced by the sight of him doing absolutely nothing, he was about to elicit a moan from in the back of your throat.

considering you hadn't touched him at all in a solid month you were close to creaming your pants untouched. god forbid he notice how tightly your legs had been crossed this entire time.

hair sweaty and falling over his forehead. like it always annoyingly does. shirt taut to his frame, but only enough to keep the naked eye pandering, grey sweats and sneakers adorn his bottom half.

his staple is his duffel bag that’s he’s just dropped on the floor. ironically flashy, it still doesn’t compare to him or his demeanor in size. he also wears the most shit-eating grin on his face and nothing could’ve prepared you for the way your body was reacting.

heartbeat rattling the entirety of your chest, mouth agape in anticipation. frozen and it definitely would’ve been laughable if you were capable of processing a single thought.

his visual dripping with sex. too good for even the wettest of dreams.

“how long are you gonna stare?”, he audibly ponders in a gentle but menacing manner. feels like taunting, he’s already got you on edge.

“excuse me?” you jokingly gasp with a scoff, managing to compose yourself quicker than you could clock how long you’d been gawking. “get over yourself juyeon, i was not staring. and even if i was, which i was NOT. can you blame me?”

“could ask you the same.” he retorts, a smirk fighting its way to his perfect pout.

“oh? please do tell.” you’re doing a better job carrying out conversation than you would have imagined.

sauntering his way in your direction he’s quickly towering over your petite frame, wearing the same shit-eating grin on his face from moments ago and you’re unintentionally holding your breath.

leaning down until he’s inches from your face using his arms to support his weight, his voice is low and goosebumps surface all over your body. “why are your legs crossed? am i missing something?”

“what do you mean? i’m wearing a skirt, why wouldn't my legs be crossed?”

gritting his teeth he raises an eyebrow, “you don’t cross them any other time. what’s there to hide? it’s nothing i haven't seen before.”

his fingertips begin to trace various parts of your body starting with your cheekbones and the underside of your jaw, causing you to raise your head entirely, the two of you instantly locking eyes.

he continues dragging his middle and pointer fingers down between the valley of your chest as your breaths easily shorten and pick up in speed. he knows exactly what he’s doing, eyes following behind his fingers flickering between the rapid rise and fall of your breasts to your eyes as you struggle to keep them completely open and on him.

“juyeon, please.” your skin already flush and the previous pool of arousal between your legs quickly dampening again but worse this time. chasing some kind of friction or release you clench your thighs. with your legs still being crossed the movement quickly catches his attention.

halting his movements he drops the hand that had begun fondling your now extremely hard nipples. it’s back onto the bed near your hip, an immense amount of heat radiating off of him hitting the area of skin that’s been gradually exposed as your skirt rides up from the previous actions.

he brings his head down again. you mistakenly pucker your lips for a kiss and quickly hang your head in shame as he dodges you, lips finding their way to your ear. “open your legs.”

immediately obeying you can't help but feel powerless underneath him. he’d barely touched you and you were soaked and soon too would be the surface underneath you when met with your bare skin.

lifting his hand again he begins dragging the same two fingers from before up and down the side of your thighs, listening for your pitiful sighs and panting. he stops at your hip and chuckles briefly before raising his head completely and settling his eyes on your face. you weren’t wearing panties.

“look at me y/n.”

forcing your glossy eyes open you’re met with a dark stare. nothing threatening there yet, but he’s definitely got something to say about your lack of coverage below. you can feel it.

“tell me what you want,” he demands ever so calmly. in any other situation this would sound rather innocent. maybe even like you had a choice to do so. right now that wasn't the case and you actually had about seven more seconds to start talking before his entire demeanor would flip.

“y-you. i want you, juyeon. please.” moistening your lips with a quick swipe of your tongue you sit waiting for his next move. practically sprawled out, your bottom half as close to completely naked as possible with the way your legs were spread. shirt unbuttoned about halfway and a sheen of sweat covering your entire body. he had already wrecked you and you were just getting started.

palming both your thighs and slowly kneading he began to properly taunt you, it was definitely fun for him.

dickhead.

“want me how? you know i need you to be specific baby. wanna treat you just right, that’s what i’m here for. hmm?”

he’s watching you for some type of approval. something to signify that you want to continue, that you’re okay with everything going on. all whilst he’s still in full control. sick, isn’t it?

“kiss me?” it sounds like a plea, that’s exactly what it is.

before you can process his reaction he’s leaning in, hands still placed firmly on your thighs. capturing your lips with his own he’s got full control, but you have zero objections. you’re just happy to finally have more of him somehow.

you feel his large hands begin to move. closer and closer to where you really need him the most. you gasp into his mouth as he rather roughly spreads your legs leaving you exposed completely. the cool air of the room engulfing the pool of what could've been multiple unintentional orgasms by now, you had no clue.

you whimper pathetically as you feel the same two fingers from earlier pressing down on your clit. he doesn’t move them, it’s just to get a reaction out of you. he briskly uses his fingertips to circle your entrance before pushing his fingers in a removing them quicker than you could choke out a sob.

he brings his fingers up to your mouth, slick with your juices. quirking a brow as he waits in amusement for you to take a hint.

slowly wrapping your lips around them you bore a hole into him with hooded eyes. circling your tongue around his digits, producing the lewdest of noises, you hope the sight is satisfying enough because all you can think about is when he’ll finally replace his fingers with his cock.

spit dripping down your chin and the rest of his hand and wrist, hitting the exposed part of your chest, you’re sure you look a mess. but you’re not bothered by it, you know he gets off on it.

pressing down on your tongue with the pads of his fingers he halts your actions. removing them with a quick popping noise he kisses you again, nothing but tongue and some panting (from you of course).

“do you think they’re clean enough, pretty?” he asks, not actually expecting a response. you slowly nod and watch as his hand, wet with your saliva, disappears again between your legs.

his hands are hot but mixed with the coolness from all the sucking you did you can’t help but drop your head back and let out an embarrassingly loud moan. easily inserting two of his long slender digits he simultaneously begins an immediate assault on your clit and uses this opportunity to attach his lips to your neck, nipping and sucking away.

“juyeon...fuck,” you whimper.

“yeah, i’m here,” he whispers between the open-mouthed kisses he’s leaving all over your neck and jaw. “i’m here baby, i’m not going anywhere.”

his lips leave you neck and trail down the rest of your body. from your collarbones, to your chest, he uses his spare hand to unbutton the rest of your top, lips instantly attaching to your right nipple over your completely lace bralette. pulling one of the cups down he drags his teeth across the now swollen bud.

“i love your tits. could play with them all day,” he groans looking up to see the complete mess he's making of you. head hanging low, eyes screwed shut, and hands gripping the sheets on both sides of your body. he knows you’re gonna cum.

“JUYEON PLEASE,” you yell. there’s no way anybody can actually hear you but even if they could you were too far spent to care.

“please what, y/n? isn’t this what you want? i’m giving it to you what else could you possibly want? greedy girl,” he practically mocks, fingers speeding up without any regard for your orgasm that’s approaching. “your cunt is stuffed and all you can say is, ‘please, please, please’ just shut up and take it like the silly little slut you are” he growls.

opening your eyes to no avail, tears begin to blur your vision, you’re beyond close. with the way he’s speaking to you it’s just seconds now until you’re spilling your mess all over him and the nice clean sheets.

“i’m close...FUCK!” you manage to get out, nails nearly cutting tiny holes in the sheets with how hard you’re gripping.

“don’t you think i know that?” he retorts, replacing the thumb on your clit with his mouth.

everything goes white, you have no idea what you’re babbling about but you know you’re cumming...until you’re not. everything stops. juyeon’s hands and mouth are off of you in an instant and you have nothing on your mind. except maybe the singular question of what the fuck does he think he’s doing?

“what the fuck? what was that?” you can still barely speak but you manage to say those few things that you know for a fact he’s not gonna like.

“watch. your. mouth. or you won't cum at all.” he speaks in a low and demanding tone, narrowing his eyes at you a bit. a warning.

getting completely on the bed himself he rolls you over so that you’re now on top of him, heat directly on top of his rock-hard bulge without warning causing an obscene noise to leave your mouth.

“wanna be a good girl and take my pants off?” he poses a question, although that’s what he expects from you regardless.

watching you as you unbuckle his belt slowly, just as he likes, his eyes are dripping with lust, but more importantly with such love that nobody other than you could ever be responsible for.

that and your tits are still fully on display. but definitely the love thing too.

before you can actually remove anything he stops you. now your bare center is sat on top of his perfectly hard erection and your head is spinning. struggling to keep your eyes open you look at him waiting for something. anything.

with both his hands on your hips he begins to rock you back and forth. your clit running from base to tip over the rough denim of his jeans, a wet patch surely forming.

“you’re gorgeous, you know?” juyeon randomly states, catching you completely off guard.

if you could see yourself right now you’d easily disagree with his statement. hair a mess, makeup smudged, and a few stray tears dried up on your cheeks. and you’re literally drooling as you dry hump him. to your own definition you’re far from attractive right now but he doesn’t want to hear that and you’ve barely been able to comprehend anything happening after the mind-blowing orgasm that you almost had.

“you’re gorgeous too, juyeon.” you managed to whisper, hands on his broad shoulders, your head lolling to the side a bit, a faint smile painted on your lips. just then he intentionally presses your core down harder onto him. you both hiss in unison.

grabbing you by the neck he pulls you in for a kiss. wet and sloppy. when he pulls away a string of spit connects the two of you and falls down your chin and onto your lap.

“i want you to ride me, can you do that for me baby?” he coos, hand still wrapped around your neck the other on your hip as his pointer finger is drawing an invisible figure eight.

“y-yes, anything for you.” you croak out, eyes still extremely low, dripping with desire.

using the hand on your neck to pull you as close as possible he whispers, “do as i say and you can cum, i know how badly you want that.” blinking slowly and backing away whilst releasing you completely, as if to signify that you should start now.

hands unsteadily moving to pull his pants off you do it slowly enough to not seem too eager but not slow enough upset him.

finally reaching the band of his boxers you began to tug them down, his cock immediately springing free. it stands tall, several inches in length, and a perfect girth. the tip, a pretty pink to match his bottom lip, angrily flushed and sticky with droplets of precum.

if you didn't know any better you’d lean down to suck. cleaning up the mess you made. but there will be plenty of time for that later. right now you need every inch of him inside of you.

reaching to remove your top a strong hand swiftly engulfs your entire your wrist with a firm grip.

“keep it on. the skirt too.” juyeon whispers releasing your wrist. you hastily nod and go to pump him a few times before placing him at your entrance, sure not to miss the deep groaning and deep breaths from the man in front of you.

hands on his shoulders you begin to sink down slowly, immediately crying out. juyeon’s hands are quick to find your waist again. leaning up so that his lips are perfectly near your ear.

“you know that if you go slow it’ll only hurt more.” you can hear the smirk in his voice as he uses the hands on your hips to fully push you down onto his cock, a low groan escaping his lips, followed by a hiss.

“FUCK, JUYEON!” you yelp, the burn being too familiar, too good for you to attempt to stop him.

“you better start moving or else only one of us is gonna cum tonight.” he quickly smacks his lips leaning back a tad, hands still on your hips, his back against the headboard.

slowly starting to rock your hips you're a babbling mess. no recollection of what it is you're saying, you just know it feels good. momentarily he lets you have that but is quick to bring you back to reality. you feel a sharp stinging on your left ass cheek, causing you to mewl even louder whilst throwing your head back. “what did i just say, y/n?”

choking out a sob you quickly speed up your motions. alternating with bouncing and grinding you play it by ear, as you’re not typically on top.

the pornographic noises coming from the both of you would be enough to make you cum alone, mixed with the feeling of him so deep inside you. but you know that's not gonna cut it. cumming without permission almost always leads to punishment and you can’t take that right now.

“you’re doing so well baby, look at you. my dirty little cock slut. isn’t that right?” he teases. speaking down to you to highlight the fact that you’re an incoherent mess, all because of his big fat cock.

“yes juyeon, oh my- FUCK!” you’re interrupted by him thrusting up into you. your eyes roll back into your head and you drop your forehead to his shoulder.

“oh no you don’t,” and there goes that hand around your neck again to sit you upright. “do that again and i’ll fuck my hand to finish. i want you to look me in the eyes when you cum.”

is he insane? definitely. but you can’t risk being robbed of another orgasm tonight. using one of your hands to join his around your neck you speed up again bouncing on him like a jackrabbit at this point, eyes drooping but locked with his.

“there you go baby. was that so hard?” he teases again. not even having the energy to retort your jaw goes slack as you feel his tip nudging at that soft spot that only he knows.

“i’m so close juyeon, please?” you beg.

“there goes that ‘please’ again,” he smirks rolling his eyes. “just do as you’re told and you can cum, that was the deal pretty girl.”

chasing the sweet release you’re craving you reach down to rub your clit quickly.

smacking your hand away juyeon looks at you like you’ve just done something unthinkable. removing his hand from your neck and popping his thumb into your mouth he utters, “suck.” and you do just that.

his moans are getting lower, longer, you know he’s gonna cum. taking his thumb from your mouth he places it on your clit immediately repeating the figure eight motions you had administered on yourself prior.

you’re a moaning mess and you’ve never fought so hard to keep your eyes open in your entire life. clenching around him you feel it, the warm pit in your stomach, your legs are starting to shake, and you can barely keep up the pace bouncing on top of him. he notices this and offers a slightly encouraging nod.

“go ahead princess, make a mess.” he mutters, never breaking eye contact.

all it takes is a few more circles around your clit and you’re letting go. the one thing you’ve been craving all night and now you’ve got it.

“FUCK, JUYEON,” you cry pathetically, not a care in the world besides completely milking your boyfriend’s cock and letting him fill you up completely. “i love you, i love you, i love you. only you, it’s always been you, it’s always gonna be you.” you’re rambling at this point and you don't care because it’s working. immediately after you can feel yourself leaking onto his lap his thumb movements get slightly sloppier and he starts breathing heavily, ragged even.

“i love you too baby, fuck. more than anything. you’re so good to me, so good for me.” he’s riding out his orgasm with you. it’s perfect, you feel on top of the world.

you circled your hips a few more times and let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding.

you feel his hands on your hips again, sliding up to cradle you completely. letting your head fall onto his shoulder you attempt to steady your breathing. kissing his neck, right underneath his ear, you whisper one more, “i love you.”

you don't care at all that his cock is softening inside you and that you both have cum dripping onto the sheets.

juyeon just fucked you dumb.

#the boyz #tbz #the boyz smut #tbz smut #lee juyeon #juyeon #the boyz juyeon #tbz juyeon #lee juyeon smut #juyeon smut #tbz scenarios #tbz x reader

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cloudbells · 8 months

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Okay....tbh....possible long post, possible temp post. Rmablings that don't make sense the longer it goes on lol.

When it comes to being a pro-Steve, anti-Accords, Tony lover, stony OTP, I feel like I'm often put in a weird spot. Like, if people were ao3 fics and those were my tags, there would nawt be many people available to meet by the time you finished filtering.

People who are pro Steve and also anti-Accords usually aren't stony shippers and likely couldn't give a fuck about Tony (or outright hate him and I'm too weak to handle Tony bashing #sawry), or they completely left the fandom - People who are Tony loving, Stony OTPers are a usually a miss the second we start talking about Steve - People who are anti-Accords Stony shippers have left the fandom in droves and/or started writing for a different Steve ship and people who are anti-Accords, Tony lovers are literal unicorns or they hate Steve anyways. And there are even more combinations that I'm not gonna mention right now. Too many.

I'm not even saying I've never ran into anyone that has the same "tags" as me. That would be a lie since I frequently speak with.....about two others.

But my grievance is that there isn't more? I think. I actually don't know my point, I'm just venting.

I guess - Like, you'll see my in a lot of stony spaces but I don't really particpate or interact with others because of the whole....Steve thing (and slight tangent - the Tony thing too because I've come to the realization that my view and characterization of Tony doesn't align as well with a lot of people and maybe it's the canon bootlicker in me giving me a different or extra perpspective but omg?). You won't find me in spaces dedicated to hating Tony even if they are super pro-Steve, anti-Accords because I actually, wholeheartedly love Tony a lot lol. I think he's wrong to do what he does often, but that's why I'm great at looking into his character and making excuses for him if I'm prompted to do so by people who hate Tony.

And I just feel like so many amazing fandom contributers were pushed out the fandom and got so exhausted (after CACW mainly) and it makes me sad lol. It also makes me how much more of an asshole I would be if I were around when CACW. Cause I've said this before, but I came out of that movie as a Steve stan. I liked him before, but that movie soldified it for me, so imagine the whiplash I got when everyone aparently thought he was evil or something. I think I'd be the biggest B.I.T.C.H around actually if I was a Steve fan and a Stony shipper during that time. God's strongest soldiers.

Also this is not a "woe is me, I fit nowhere in fandom" post because one, I don't believe that and two, I don't aim to get too close to fandom anyways. I'm just venting because I do feel awkward at times. It's the main reason I don't give Tony metas out anymore. I have so many thoughts about him, but my position as a Stony shipper is awkward to me.

I have more to say, but I'm not the best at detangling my thoughts and making something coherent out of them, so I'll leave this here! <3 Thanks for reading if you got this far.

#me my mine #cloudbells fandom post #maybe temp post who knows

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marybatson · 2 years

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my general thoughts during black adam 2022 tht swirled in my mind like a flushing toilet. in no order

writers room and maybe mr johnson himself actually ironed out geoff’s adam origin and made him nicer because he literally murdered his nephew in that one. this works tho for what they were going for so okieee . will we get adam choking out the shazam kids in movie 2 LOL the rock would never agree to tht. wat happened to the anti in antihero mister…

kinda moe they made atom smasher n adam have bestie potential like in jsa lol.

gushing about adrianna and amon. amon AND HIS LIDDOL SKATEBOARD !!!!!! they were so so real even more so than their roles in 52 and I appreciate the writers sm for that. esp the role of khandaqi citizens later in the movie like ya fuck imperialism

it genuinely felt like a shift of two movies going back and forth between khandaq and hawkmans cruiser which I guess u could say makes it immersive

the entire jsa dynamic was so so good simply bc the chars were so fleshed out even in the small lines al and maxine (I LOVE U MAXINEEEE!!!) had they felt like heroes who’d worked together for so long. like it was easy breezy n if u compare that to the billion of quips and tension jl in the movie had like. it’s kind of wild. centering dc movieverse on jsa was not on my bingo. JAIME REYES BLUE BEETLE JSA MOMENT?

ROCK OF FINALITY ? let me ruminate on that.

shook w laughter every time somebody in the movie went “but WHO could defeat black adam” “only one person could defeat sabbac” “you’re so stacked even more so than any hero on earth adam” elephant in the room in the form of the literal shazam family with an upcoming movie:🧍

ok more on the point above just now. LIKE WTF. every time someone makes adam stronger while completely ignoring that billy is his equal nay his better. no matter what I think abt dceu’s shazam it’s still literally soooo embarrassing they think they can separate adam completely when HES GOT A DAMN LIGHTNING BOLT ON HIS CHEST. this movie just makes me angrier abt it bc they showed the shazam 2 trailer before it and god how incompetent and idiotic does shazam look in comparison to adam it’s literally so embarrassing ? can darla dudley beat adam’s ass. you know she can. be for fuckin real

cc binder checking in from the afterlife going hi how’s r my kids oh cool more to the fam oh cool there’s movies. BLACK WHO? WHO IS THAT…. villain from a singular comic beaten in one breath by captain marvel ????? slay but wtf. also where is freddy

aldis hodge knocked it out of the park tbh. so did mr pierce brosnan. hawkman smirking about I’m not afraid of dying JSNWNDKD well. sure. and the jsa kids ^_^ omg if we’re doing this jsa gimme jakeem n courtneyyyy. or r they tied down by cw

unrelated to all of this at all but I was just thinking I wish shazam never got a movie he should’ve been shoved into a reoccurring role in like that stargirl show or whatever idc

I’m on mobile idk how to readmore here just block me or kill me I’m sawry. TLDR I thought it was good fun! kind of a long movie imo and sabbac final villain was like. uhhh sure ok that was smth tht happened.. anyway. I feel like audiences will just like it and I guess its an interesting reset for the movies

READ BLACK ADAM 2022 AND SUPPORT MALIK WHITE!!!!!!!!!!!

#saw someone on here say if u don’t like comic book superheroes u won’t like this movie bc. so true.#luckily… :)#black adam spoilers

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fakeloveaskblog · 3 years

Note

Janus! Janus! Janus! Janus! Have you tried. dressing up in goth style!? Please do!!! I want to know your friend's reactions! How 'bout this? You wear a goth outfit (with accessories and make up [maybe put makeup on like snake scales??]of course~) for a whole day, preferably the day you're going to "couple's therapy" and see everyone's reactions!

(Words: 1447)

Janus was rotting away in his bed, buried under 3 blankets and with his snake plush tightly gripped in his arms.

"....Oh right couple's therapy....had forgotten....Sorry I totally haven't been distracted and crying a lot since the fiasco with Logan....I can try....Hopefully it'll cheer me up"

He rolled out of bed and fell ungraciously down on the floor. Sadly he didn't own any make up but he did have a lot of dark clothes. After a lot of worrying about how gross he looked he decided on a long sleeved black shirt with a dark red button up over it. He put a black corset over them to give them that poofy look he'd seen online. He added a few dark rings and necklaces he'd found over the years.

Lastly he unsurely put on a long loose black skirt that reached his ankles. He'd never worn it in public before. It'd just laid hidden in his closet for yeards, sometimes before he moved out he'd put it on when he had been home alone.

"You sure this looks good?" He asked you. You of course didn't answer. He imagine you giving him a thumbs up.

When janus got to the place the therapy was held he was over 10 minutes early like usual. He got anxious otherwise. Remy sat on the parking bench outside smoking. They’d just gotten done with their therapy.

When they saw him they took off their sunglasses to look at him better. They put out their cigarette before taking their cane and hurrying up to him.

“Look at you Janny boy! JanJan! Janiga! Janice! You’re looking tots super good girl! Why the change? You killed your ex husband didn’t you? Took his money?”

“Yes. I put poison in his drink and let the maiden he had been cheating with find the body” Janus replied “A.....friend told me to”

“Classy”

Janus couldn’t help but blush. He hadn’t thought someone as beautiful as Remy would ever think of him as anything but gross “It totally wasn’t meant to be goth but well I have no makeup so I am more like a pretentious emo”

“Oh I know loads of those!”

They took his hand. HOLY SHIT THEY TOOK HIS HAND. And quickly led him over to the bench. They sat him down and started looking around in their bag. He could see several bottles of pills in it, a knife and also all kinds of makeup.

“don’t worry girl! I always got some makeup with me for emergencies! Y’know I don’t wanna wear it unless my boyf is in a good mood but you never know. Alright you want like a trad goth or more like casual?”

“Never tried makeup before. Anything works!”

“Aight girl. Gotya!”

They cupped his cheek to bring his head closer. Janus could feel their cold breathe against his skin as they leaned in and instructed him to close one of his eyes. The brush strokes were so so light against his skin, it almost tickled.

Remy looked so focused it made Janus’ blushing even worse. All he could think about was how easy it would be to lean in and kiss them. Instead they took out an eyeliner pencil and carefully drew dark wings that covered his entire eyelid.

“Sawry but I don’t have any black lipstick. Is red fine? Is red the viiibbee?”

“R-red’s fine! It’s my favorite color!” (it wasn’t) “Same color as my murdered husband’s blood!” Janus babbled out.

“That’s the spirit girl!!”

They brushed their thumb over his bottom lip before putting the lipstick on. They took out another brush and grabbed onto the hair at the back of his head.

“Can you lean your head back a little? I just wanna make sure your cheeks stand out since they already look like a dream” He of course did as told “Good boy”

Janus choked on air. He coughed pretending like it was because of the smoke still surronding Remy. They looked at him with a smile. It didn’t quite look like they were smiling at him but not completely like they were smiling along with him either.

“Alright. All done!”

They held up their phone on mirror mode so he could look at himself.....oh goD HE WAS HOT!!! For once he couldn’t only see imperfections. He just looked...good. Chill, laidback, good.

“Thanks” Janus said, a bit breathlessly.

Remy leaned their chin on his shoulder “I tried to give you a gothic Jessica Rabbit kinda eye! She’s my fav character like ever! She made me start trying feminine things”

“Oh no you totally failed. It looks horrible!” He said sarcastically.

“So true girl! It’s pretty stupid but I kinda like relate to her a lot. Like the whole I’m not bad I’m just drawn that way thing. I mean you of course know this with how you are but people will just assume things when they’re attracted to you”

Janus’ eyes widened “You- You think I would be able to relate to that??”

They twirled his hair between their fingers. They had a soft smile on their face “’course girl!....I kinda like thinking of myself as Jessica and my boyf as Roger” They forced a fake chuckle “Y’know so many people have assumed I’m cheating on him”

“I can’t assume! I have a medical disease that makes it so I’m unable to assume!” Janus lied in a nervous flurry. He wanted to facepalm immediately afterwards. He was an idiot.

Remy laughed. A soft laugh. They closed their eyes and leaned their head back. Janus’ heart fluttered just hearing it.

They stretched their fingers one by one while their laughter died down “My fingers are sore just from doing the makeup. That’s pretty pathetic huh”

Janus gently took their hands and cupped them between his own “Not at all. You’re able to come all the way here every week and everything which certainly isn’t pathetic. Being in pain is never pathetic” He gently blew onto their hands to try and warm them them thinking maybe that would help.

They froze up as if they weren’t used to anyone not agreeing with their negative talk “Girl I’m always drunk when I come here anyway! This coffee is like 2 thirds vodka! Can never do therapy sober. Pretty stupid”

He continued to gently massage their fingers “Of course not. I don’t know why you go or why you need the cane but it’s obviously not stupid”

“fibromyalgia” They replied “I mean that’s why I use the cane. It’s a chronic pain thing. The cane helps with some of the pain. I uh also have hypersomnia but that’s a whole different thing”

Janus sent them a warm smile “That sounds tough”

“Yeah” Their voice broke slightly “Yeah it is”

They shook their head and moved their hands away. They forced a smile

“Cute, funny And kind huh? No wonder you have a ‘boyfriend’. Speaking off him” Remy pointed over to Remus coming down the sidewalk.

Janus went into defense at the way they had said boyfriend, almost on instinct “He sure fucking is my boyfriend! Even if he doesn’t fully look like it in some people’s eyes he’s more of a man than I’ll ever be!”

Remy held their hands up to look innocent “Girl I’m literally trans, calm your snitties. I meant that I know you two ain’t actually going to couple’s therapy. I mean it’s like obvious, Just as obvious as Certain other things about you! You’re not a subtle person! What you actually doing?”

He wanted to facepalm even harder “We- uh-”

“Picani is secreltly a succubus and he helps us summon demons to have orgies with every week” Remus filled in.

“Aww babe no inviting meee?” Remy pouted “You don’t deserve me anyway” They got up. Janus handed them their cane “Well I best be going before my bae gets anxious about my bus chrashing. See you in your wet dreams!”

“Bye Rem” Remus waved.

“Bye Rem” Remy waved back. They put their hand on his shoulder and leaned in “He’s good. Real good. You should keep him” They whispered before continuing to walk.

As soon as they had rounded the corner Remus sighed and collapsed onto the bench “They’re so pretty. I would sacrifice a goat for them”

Janus nodded along “Same”

Remus turned to him and whistled before punching his shoulder “And look at you looking like a nightmare! Which is a good thing!”

“Thanks”

“You better give me a goth makeover some time! If I already look good as a darkly clad horror I would kill, literally, as gothic”

Janus smiled “It’s a promise!”

“Great! Alright ready to fuck up Picani’s day?”

“Always”

#desleep #mini fic #remus sanders #janus sanders #remy sanders #sanders sides

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vulvy-tales-blog · 7 years

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Regret, a feeling more powerful than any other. Everyone has regrets, wishing they'd done something different. It's natural, we fear negative reactions and wish to undo them when we can. I've never felt that way, everything I'd done, good and bad, helped craft who I am. It all had a purpose, a reason for being. The bad made the good feel even better, making it feel earned. There was nothing I'd of ever changed.

It still amazes me how much I've been through in such a short period of time. I've lived a life filled with excitement, more than some have in their entire life time. How many people can say they got to be a real life hero, something right out of a novel? I still remember my first mission, dad was so nervous about me and for good reason. I was tiny back then, only fourteen or fifteen, way too young to be doing vigilante work. It didn't help that I had no idea what I was doing either. Only training I had was what I'd read in books, that stuff didn't always work in reality, dramatic effect and all that.

And let me tell you, I got knocked around quite a bit! There was this one time we fought this huge norn right? Well me, being the bright bulb I always was, tried to jump on his back, got a few stabs in before he flung me off. I swear I was hurtling towards this bench faster than you can say cheesewhiz sandwich. I don't recommend that by the way, it's not nearly as good as it sounds, just go with the cheezewhiz straight into the mouth.

Ok so the norn throws me and I go clean through the wood, landing limp on the ground. I thought for sure I was dead, don't even remember a week after that. Do remember the broken bones though, cogs, that recovery was brutal, but I was still alive. That's one thing I want you to remember. Always look at the simple things. There's going to be a lot of bad thrown your way, more than you can imagine. It's all superfluous so long as your alive, have a roof over your head and people to share your life with. Don't let one bad day sink your entire outlook on life.

Don't be afraid to have big goals, I always did, cogs did I. For the longest time, even before I met my parents, I wanted to be the hero to those who couldn't protect themselves. I wanted to roam the land, helping others as much as I can. I managed to do that, with just a few bumps in the road! Once I got older I ended up joining the Priory, you'll learn more about them when your older, promise! So I joined them wanting to try something new.

It was such a good decision, I met one of my best friends ever there. He'll be your uncle, I'll make sure of that. When you first meet him you may think him a bit heartless, gruff even for a charr. He's always like that at first. You see he, like me, didn't have the of best starts to his life. As a charr you need to grow that thick hide or you'll never survive. Just make sure you give him a chance. When you earn this trust, you'll have his undying loyalty. He's as much of a sibling to me as you are, I hope you both connect as well as we did.

Cogs, I'm getting all misty and I haven't even gotten to our parents yet. They were something else. I had no one before I met them. My birth givers just didn't want me I guess, isn't surprising since I'm not like most asura, never really had that focused genius mind. I'm telling you this because they didn't care, they didn't care about any of that. All they saw was some kid that needed their help, that's the type of people they were.

It didn't come without a stigma either, some turned their noses up or arched their eyebrows at two humans adopting an asura, but I never saw it like that. They didn't adopt me, they were always my parents, we just hadn't found each other yet. Looks never bothered them either, always introducing me as their daughter, no matter what.

You'd of loved dad's sense of humor, was such a goofball, knowing when to have fun and when to be serious. Then there's mom who took no crud from anyone. If she thought you were wrong she'd tell you and then maybe even punch you right in the face for good measure. Gods, some of the fights we had, it's amazing we never got physical with one another. You should of seen how proud they both were when you were born, we were all so happy.

I'm sorry, I'm starting to ramble, let me get out a few more nuggets of advice before I go. Don't let others tell you how to act or who you should be. Always be you, no matter what that is. Conforming just makes you like everyone else, be the person who stands out by being unique. Always know who your true friends are and keep them close. They are apart of your family, just as much as your siblings are.

Remember way back at the start of this letter I said I had no regrets? Well I have one, I wish things had been different, that we could of lived together as one big happy family. Was looking forward to trying to look all intimidating towards all the little dates you brought home despite being like half their size! Some things just aren't meant to be though, harsh lesson of the world that I wish I didn't have to tell you. Don't let it discourage you though! You can accomplish almost anything so long as you work hard enough at it.

That's it for sisterly advice, love you both so much.

Your sister, V

I took a deep breath, closing my leather bound journal, hands lingering over the cover. I'd gotten it only two years ago, on my birthday. Never thought I'd ever write in it because who the cog kept journals? Yet somehow I'd managed to nearly fill it's pages. There was something so therapeutic about writing your thoughts down, expressing them to something. Helped give them a new sense of meaning.

“Lot of memories here.” My head raised, looking around the darkened kitchen. “I should say goodbye before I go.”

Hands slid from the book, nails scratching across the cover. I hopped down from my chair, making my way up the stairs, not at all being bothered by the darkness. Between knowing the home and my natural tendency to see well at night, the house may as well be lit up by a beacon. Case and point, I knew where the book to trigger my hidden bedroom door was located without even needing to look.

The bookcase slid open slowly, revealing not only my bed, an area that hadn't been used in months, but that of Sammy and my new baby sister as well. It was truly sad that I didn't even know their name, proof this family was crumbling long before their deaths. That was only the nail in the coffin as they say. I suppose I was the saw dust beneath the board, used and forgotten.

Both my siblings were asleep, unnamed baby snug beneath a blanket and Sammy taking after me, sprawled out in the middle of the bed with limbs flailed out everywhere. They both looked so peaceful. How long had they been under the care of a nanny? I couldn't even remember the last time I saw any of them. I doubted Sammy even remembered who I was by this point. My hand brushed past the grip of my pistol. It was better that way.

They'd be relieved of any burden's, too young to have made an emotional connection, able to be free of all the enemies this families made. They would be able to live their own lives, putting all of this behind them. It seemed fitting to have the Kuryakin name vanish in a puff of smoke rather than in a grand style, was never who we were.

With one final heavy breath inward I headed toward the door. Barely crossing the threshold before a voice yelled out. “Sissy!”

Sammy had already jumped from his bed, rushing over towards me. Before I could so much as blink he'd scooped me up into a bear hug, standing nearly as tall as me despite being almost 16 years younger. Arms tightened around my back as he continued to yell, oblivious to the fact a baby was in the room. “Is sissy leaving again?!”

Question was so simple yet difficult to answer. I couldn't exactly be honest yet at the same time I couldn't have my lasting image to my brother be a lie. How then did I even approach this? It seemed like there was no right way, everything leading to some consequence my brother didn't deserve to be burdened with.

“Lower your voice, your going to wake your sister up.” I said, stalling for more time.

“Oh... sawry.” He lowered me to the ground, voice following suit. “I forgets sometimes.”

“It's ok, I can be the same way. How have things been here while I've been gone?” I asked, happily steering the conversation away from his question.

“Booooooring, nan no let us have fun. We should goes out like before!” He started to get excited again, clamping his hands over his mouth quickly.

Action made me giggle, Sammy reminding me and more of myself when I was his age, cogs, may as well be how I was last year. “Like when we went to the adventure box? You know how much trouble I got in for that? Mom...” I couldn't stop myself from mentioning her, body instinctively moving forward to reengage the hug.

“You ok, sissy?” He gladly returned the action, wrapping his arms around me once again.

Eyes pressed closed, tears trying to fight their way past, filling my eyes up like a puddle. I needed to put on a brave face for him, but how could I? Everything wasn't going to be ok. No one had even told him his mother was gone, for good and here I was trying to do the same. I couldn't just abandon him as she had. I had to be better than that.

“Everything is going to be fine, I promise.” Pulling back I kissed him on the forehead, waterworks fully open, droplets of water streaking down both cheeks. “You aren't going to have to worry about Nan anymore, ok? Maybe if your good, we can take some trips like before to.”

I pressed my fingers to my lips immediately, helping halt my brother's happy squeal. “Go get some sleep, we'll talk again in the morning.”

He nodded, happily skipping back into bed. This was going to be hard, but it felt right. Someone had to be there for them, willing to shoulder than load rather than taking the easy way out. I couldn't have them live through what I did, broken family was better than none at all. Arrangements were going to need to be made on multiple fronts, but I was going to make this work, for them.

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