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simsadventures · 4 years

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Not Me: Chapter 2: Domestic Bliss

Summary: You throw a party at your house, and while on the outside you look like the perfect couple, the reality is quite different. Especially after you learn about another shocking truth. But Bucky seems to be shocked as well.

Warnings: angst, pretending, infidelity, hint of jealousy, swearing, betrayal, weight loss

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x wife!Reader

Word Count: 2555

A/N: I promise, all will be explained in a short time. What did we all think? Bucky is an ass, that’s for sure, but maybe there’s something behind his behaviour… who knows? XD FEEDBACK is gold, so please, let me know if you like it, or what was your favourite part :) xx

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You looked at yourself in the mirror and sighed. Where there used to be a happy, confident woman, was now standing an unsure being without shape or form. You always loved the way your boobs looked, having been one of the lucky girls to have their breasts just the right size and shape without undergoing surgery. But since you lost more than 20 pounds over the last year, your boobs all but disappeared.

So did the glow your skin used to have once. You were dull now, and if it weren’t for your hairdresser who tried to keep your hair shiny and healthy-looking, you bet you would like a walking dead. But no matter how much weight you lost, James didn’t seem to care.

It was pathetic to even try in the first place, because he would always mumble something like you’re not gonna get me, and would walk away, leaving you confused and hurt. You thought that maybe he thought you weren’t representative enough for him, so you tried to lose weight. But nothing happened because you were just the right amount of weight.

It came only with the constant heartbreak that you finally lost your appetite, and the pounds started to disappear from the scale.

You shrugged in the mirror and applied another layer of red lipstick to your lips and plastered a fake smile on your face. This would be a long night, you thought to yourself, as you descended the stairs leading to your formal room, aka the torture room, as you liked to call it.

It was there that most of the parties and meeting happened, and because it was your turn to host one of the Y/L/N family parties, you couldn’t even protest. Your whole family would be there, and so was James’.

After what your father told you that day, and the way he’s been acting towards you ever since then, you weren’t looking forward to seeing him. Nevertheless, you couldn’t wait to see two of your three brothers. Not that you wouldn’t see them almost every month, it being your only outlet and your flight towards safety, but their faces and goofy acts always made you smile.

When you saw your oldest brother, Max, you actually smiled at him, and you had to tell yourself not to rush too fast towards him, because it would actually look like you weren’t happy in your current position. The hostess of the party. Ugh!

You made sure that the caterers brought everything they should and that your home decorator came soon in the morning to put things in their places, but other than that, you couldn’t care less. It was just for a show, just like every other aspect of your life, apparently.

Max waved at you, and you came close enough to squeeze his hand affectionately. He looked you up and down and frowned, but didn’t say anything, being the polite one of the four of you. You wanted to say something, but then you felt somebody hauling you up from your feet and you screamed, not being able to contain yourself.

When you heard a huron laugh from behind you, you let out a chuckle and tapped his hand, signalling that he should let you down. It was the other brother, two years older than you, Thomas.

While Max was a cardio surgeon, Thomas was in the Army. He only recently got sent home from Afghanistan, and you couldn’t get enough of him, missing him like crazy over the past 7 months while he was on a mission.

“I swear to God, you’re lighter and lighter every time I see you, cheerio! You’re almost translucent, what the fuck is going on, huh?”

You just shook your head and put your fake smile on to calm him down so that he wouldn’t make a scene. Your father and James would eat you alive if somebody caused a scene and you wouldn’t be able to shush them appropriately.

“It’s this new diet I’m on, Tom! I thought I looked marvellous so thank you for bursting my little bubble,” you said playfully, hoping that neither of your brothers would see through you. But who were you kidding? You grew up with them, and you were their little sister, of course, they wouldn’t trust you just like that.

They both exchanged looks that said, right but didn’t press the matter for which you were extremely thankful. You looked around the room to see where your husband was, trying to keep up the appearances at least for a while, but you couldn’t find him anywhere. You shrugged and hoped he’d come as soon as possible, because you could see your father’s prying eyes on you, and you didn’t want to give him another reason to scold you.

To get your mind off of things, you looked for your nieces and nephews, Max’s children, so that nobody would ask you unnecessary questions and you could enjoy some time with your family before you had to go and speak with your father. You couldn’t find your mom anywhere, and you could bet she was outside having a cigarette, or 10. It was her outlet in this crazy world, and although you used to give her lectures, you totally got why she started this horrible habit. It even crossed your own mind a few times.

The little ones were having fun on the veranda, and after you greeted their mother, Felicia, you sat on your heels to let the little ones tell you all they needed.

“And auntie Y/N, why is grass green?” “Y/N, I have a boyfriend, his name is Joshua!”

You listened to the 4-year old asking question over his sister’s telling you about her kindergarten’s love, and you smiled to yourself. You loved the two of them, just as much as you loved the two babes in Felicia’s arms. One-year-old twins. Four children were apparently a lot to take in and to take care of, but Felicia was a pro, and you admired her for her patience with your brother because he sometimes acted worse than those kids.

“Shouldn’t you be in there, entertaining your guests with your husband?” You heard your father’s stern voice from behind you, and the hair on your neck stood up. You clenched your jaw, gave Felicia an apologetic smile and went back inside, without as much as looking at your father.

He didn’t like that too much, so he grabbed you by your upper arm, squeezing so much you could feel the blood draining from the limb.

“Don’t you give me this treatment, young lady. How about you put a smile on that pretty face of yours and stop being so sour, huh? Wouldn’t kill you to be pleasant for a day!”

You blinked away the tears welling in your eyes, nodded absentmindedly, which made him release your arm. You looked around the room once more, looking for James, when you saw him leaving one of the guest rooms on the floor ground. You sighed and put on a smile, which fell as soon as you saw another person leaving the room behind James. Her red hair seemed to be the only thing you saw, and you had to try really hard not to vomit at the sight.

It was one of your bridesmaids and great friends (sure), Natasha. They both looked like they either went through a tornado or they fucked each other’s souls out, and your heart fell.

Not only was he making your life a living hell, but he also fucked one of your friends? That was just perfect. You knew that if you saw him, you weren’t the only one, and sure enough, your father made his presence known again

“You can’t even keep a man? Pf, I thought at least that pussy of yours was for something, but I guess I was wrong,” he said mockingly and left you standing there, feeling like you stood under a cold shower.

James turned around the room, greeted a few people he missed due to his escapades before his eyes landed on you. You wanted to yell at him, wanted to throw stuff at him for doing this to you. Why he married you in the first place, you didn’t understand. You didn’t give him even a small smile as you walked towards him, and, for a second, he looked like a deer caught in headlights. That soon passed, and his typical scowl replaced the shock on his face.

When you reached him, and he snaked his arm your waist (which cause you to shudder in disgust, to be quite frank), you leaned in, and with a smile for the other guests of the party, you whispered to his ear,

“You could have at least each left the room in a different time. And you could have made sure you didn’t look like you just fucked one of my best friends, but maybe that’s just me, dear,” you hissed the last part of the sentence as you looked deep into his eyes and without as much as another thought left him standing there, and went to your brothers again.

Not that you wanted to talk to them about it, but you saw the looks on their faces, and you knew they saw the whole thing, from Bucky leaving the room with Natasha to you talking to him. And the looks on their faces were very close to two people ready to murder somebody, so you tried to go and calm them both down. You were just lucky your twin, Adam, wasn’t there, because he would definitely have already acted. And it wouldn’t be nice considering he was an MMA fighter.

“Is he fucking kidding me? I’m going to kill him, Y/N. Like seriously, it will take me one good measured punch, and he’s down,” Tom said, seething, and you patted his shoulder, keeping your fake smile on your lips.

“Don’t. Please, Tom, Max. Suits me for thinking he could actually love me. Let’s just forget about it and act as if nothing happened, can we?”

“Is that the reason you looked the way you do? For fuck’s sake, Y/N. That idiot’s been killing you for over a year, and now he’ll sleep with your friend, to top it all? Has he been beating you too? That why you have the forming bruise on your arm?” Max asked, his temper showing as well.

You looked down to your bare arm and saw that Max was right indeed. There was a bruise already kind of blue from where your father grabbed you minutes ago.

“It’s not like that, I promise. James hasn’t laid his arms on me, I swear. It’s from a pleasant conversation I had with dad a while ago,” you added, knowing that there was nothing your brothers could do about your despotic father.

They were both red from anger, and you didn’t blame them. If somebody treated your brothers the way James treated you, you’d probably tear them to pieces. Or, at least, the old you would. You didn’t know yourself anymore. This meek wife, trying to do as her father and her husband tell her. You were disgusted by yourself but couldn’t see a way out.

Somebody touched your arm, and from the surprised looks on your brothers’ faces, you knew exactly who it was. The fucking audacity of that woman.

“Natasha, to what do I owe the pleasure?” You asked her, so mockingly, you were actually surprised at yourself.

She looked taken aback, but she still laughed freely.

“What? Can’t I come and as hi to my dear friend?”

It was your turn to laugh in her face.

“Aaah. So I guess that’s what you’ve been doing in one of my guest rooms with my husband, then? Saying hi to him? You guys have some special secret handshake? Or did you fuck him after you exchanged pleasantries?”

She looked terrified, and before you could say more, or before she could start stuttering some lame excuse, you felt a hand on your hip, and from the unpleasant reaction of your body, you knew it was your husband. This was hilarious. His wife and mistress talking, and he just casually strode in.

“May I speak with you, Y/N?” James hissed into your ear, and you stabbed Natasha one last time with your eyes before you let James pull you away from the party into the kitchen.

You couldn’t even look at him, you thought you’d vomit if you did.

“What the fuck is your problem, huh? You’ve got everything you wanted, the house, the marriage, the prestige, everything. What more do you want from me?” He said, raising his voice, and you finally turned around to face him, your brows furrowed in disbelief.

“What? What are you talking about, James? You think I asked for any of this? For the hell my life is right now? Oh so great, I’m married to one of the sexiest CEO on the planet, good for me. But guess, what. I never asked for any of this. All I wanted was to take over the publishing part of the company, live in my little apartment, and maybe, maybe fall in love one day with a nice guy who would treat me right.

Did I think it could be you, for a while? Sure, but don’t worry. I don’t anymore. You asked me to marry you. I don’t know what you’re playing at, but at least I try to make this marriage work and don’t go fucking your best friends behind your back. But I guess I ask too much of you, don’t I? Well, excuse me, your excellence. I did everything you told me to. I stopped speaking up, I started cooking like crazy, wearing make-up all the damn time, wearing clothes like I was part of the Gossip Girl extras, just because you told me to. But I will never be good enough for you, will I? I don’t know what you want from me, James, I really don’t, but if we don’t go back to the party now, people will start asking questions we don’t have answers to,” you said, fighting the tears threatening to leave your eyes.

Bucky was watching your, his expression somewhere between surprise and anger. He looked at you, obviously wanting to continue fighting with you before something caught his attention.

“What the fuck is that on your arm?”

You scoffed and walked around him to leave the kitchen.

“Oh, now you care? Please, give me a break. I don’t know what your motives were to marry me if you wanted the whole company to yourself and had a deal with my father or something, but please, stop acting like you are the worried husband, ok? Let’s just get this party over with, and then you won’t have to look at me for weeks, just the way you like it,” you said with a fake smile (Bucky knew that much, that was definitely not a real smile of yours), and left the kitchen, not caring if he followed you or not.

He just stood there, confused and with more questions than with how many he initially came into the kitchen.

/Next Chapter >

Not Me:

@jennmurawski13 @lovely-geek @vogueworthy-barnes @veronawrites @loser-alert @trumpettay @thesoldierrogers @girlbehindthecameraposts @little-smurf @jesseswartzwelder @fuckwhateverfuck @learisa @karla-silva @blowing-mikey @afterlaughter27 @93generation @ungratefultroll @maybeisthemoon @greenprisca @geeksareunique @champagnesugamama @hailqueenconquer @grincheveryday @mc225g @thatweirdwalangpake @neerness @ntlmundy @captainchrisstan @sspider-parker @cap-just-said-language

Bucky Taglist

@this-kitten-is-smitten @paradisiacalsparks @crazybutconfidentaf @owlyannah @lassini @s-trawberryv-eins @reniescarlett @bxrnsfeyson @the-soulofdevil

Marvel Taglist

@voltage-my2dlove @kneel-begyourpardon @lumar014 @ptrs-prkrs

Forever Tag:

@eileenalone @sasbb23 @p8tn0lish @coffeebooksandfandom @waiting4inspiration @caswinchester2000 @mogaruke @justthatfangirloverthere @mushyjellybeans @livsheph @sebbbystaaan @notyourtypicalrose @itsunclebucky

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80hdean · 3 years

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Oh my god I just read a fic that I think actually fully explains Dean’s character choices (particularly regarding Jack, though also Cas) in seasons 14-15?? In an actually satisfying way? I never expected to have that make sense to me and I’m still kind of reeling.

The thing is that The Only Way it makes sense relies 100% on three things being true:

Dean is heinously full of self loathing, despair, and maladaptive coping strategies that he refuses to improve upon or seek help for; namely his belief that he is worthless and undeserving and should have been left to rot in hell, and that because of this worthlessness no one he cares about will ever really care about him in the same way, will never stay with him, so he must push them away before they get the chance to blindside him with that betrayal (which he knows from prior experience that he doesn’t deal with well) AND

Cas is the one being that’s even partially exempt from this rule because he’s an angel that earned his faith early on (profound bond style), and while he’s never been one to stick around physically, his devotion has never wavered enough that Dean seriously doubts that Cas cares deeply for him. This means that Cas somehow becomes integral to Dean’s conception of hope in general and becomes necessary to Dean envisioning a future of any kind for himself BECAUSE

Dean is romantically in love with Cas from at least season 12 onward (his feelings could potentially be repressed to a degree for some of it but they do need to be present explicitly for his motivations to make any kind of emotionally resonant sense)

All three of these things must be true for this series of interpretations to hold up. It all slots together so well that it almost seems *possible* that this was all somewhat intentional/planned on the writers’ part, but that the eventual execution was so piss poor that I wasn’t able to connect the dots (mostly bc of the extreme gaslighting regarding #3). It’s confusing as fuck to constantly try to figure out why the fuck a character is doing something if the logical CONTEXTUAL reasoning is frequently said to be nonexistent.

Basically this fic didn’t posit anything radically new, but it was a specific combination of minor takes and at a couple of key (and unexpected) time stamps that finally made it all coalesce for me.

Like, for example, Dean feels like he “had never had Cas, and now he never will” when Cas leaves him to protect Kelly before Jack was born, not afterwards, priming him to be not only angry at Jack but to see him as the interloper standing between him and Cas. This would then ratchet Dean’s rage and homicidal anger towards Jack up to eleven when Cas gets killed doing this.

But then getting Cas back restores Dean’s hope, hope for a future, so he chills out and even comes to care for Jack, especially since Cas does. And Cas is noticeably more affectionate and fond, and Dean’s hopes grow a little stronger until Jack dies and Cas goes and makes the deal with the Empty, after which Dean notices Cas being less obviously affectionate with him, which he can only conclude has something to do with Jack and his soul, which leads to increased suspicion yet again.

This was crucial for me bc without seeing it from this “Cas is my only hope at having a future” and “if you get between me and Cas I will treat you like I am a jilted and jealous lover” like without these layers of context, his reactions to Jack (and to Cas, especially during the divorce arc) are out of proportion to the situation and out of character for Dean given the whole trajectory of the show and character development and whatever.

I could write another 3k words about this, which is so silly, but yeah this one fic has fixed for me the one giant pulsating un-ignorable fault that caused me to fly off the handle about the last couple seasons of the show at any given moment. I’m aware that’s super irrational but what can you do. The show wrote one of my favorite characters being an abusive homicidal rageaholic towards my top two favorite characters (one of whom is a child!!) without anything resembling a good enough reason.

I personally found Dean’s character arc pretty hard to follow after the Mark of Cain was removed and even the back half of season 10 was kind of convoluted to me ACTUALLY you know what he really just went off the rails when he tricked Sam into accepting Gadreel. That’s when shit started to go sideways for Dean’s basic characterization, and things just snowballed after s11-12 I think.

Anyways I got this far and forgot to say it but the fic is Hell Was The Journey That Brought Me Heaven by thursdaysfallenangel (https://archiveofourown.org/works/26376697)

#dean #cas #meta #fic #fic rec #writers #jack #magpie dot txt #also this fic was published last September and managed to come up with an ending that eerily echoes 15x18 down to some details I’m not sure #how they predicted but they did!#like the handprint on the jacket!#idk maybe there were set photos leaked idfk I love the concept of this weirdly prescient fic author #destiel #I should also perhaps mention that there’s no easy resolution in this fic there’s no great catharsis moment #the beauty of this fic for me was explaining Dean’s inexplicable behavior and choices by putting them all to fit in the same contextual #framework

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vanveronicango · 4 years

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if you don't mind me asking, what aspects of s2 did you dislike? bc for me, although i liked it a lot better than s1 (mainly for the increased focus on sibling dynamic scenes). i also kind of realized that it had kind of a Lot going on, that although i appreciated, didn't get enough equal attention? idk

i agree that the dynamic scenes this season were pretty great. we got some great interactions between characters that didn’t have much last season (personal fave being klaus/allison/vanya and every individual combo in that trio).

i personally love reading other peoples’ opinions on shows/movies, even if they don’t match my own, because a lot of the time they open my eyes to some stuff i haven’t seen, and i love to see work affecting others the same way it does me, even if it has a different outcome.

so, i know i said i wouldn’t, but since you asked, under the cut i’m going list out some of the stuff i wasn’t a huge fan of, and some of the stuff i really liked.

(edit warning: this shit is LONG. but please don’t take this as me absolutely hating the season - I didn’t. there was some genuinely enjoyable stuff. but, in my opinion, it didn’t have the spark and intent that s1 did. it wasn’t the caliber of the season i fell in love with. i think it’s still rewatchable though, unlike a certain godawful season of a certain hit netflix show...... coughstrangerthings3cough)

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE

1. not enough characterization/development in most of the characters (this will be the longest point, so I’ll get it out of the way first) - for one, the siblings - save maybe vanya & allison - really... did not develop much this season, and weren’t explored as heavily as in the first season. hell, even in vanya and allison’s cases, i still think s1 did a better job at delving into their characters and psyche, even though they still had a bit of it in s2. but especially in the other siblings cases, i feel like SO MUCH of this season leaned into trivial things the fans liked, that it either (at least) took time away from or (at worst) was an active detriment to the characters’ development and plots. they said oh you like banter? we’ll give you unnecessary arguing and jokes that go on for 20 minutes too long when we could be delving deeper into these interesting situations we saw on the surface. here’s some fart jokes and forgettable music when we could be seeing more of how these characters are coping with the literal end of the world/being sent back in time/facing the prospect of never seeing their families again.

in s1, we got luther’s immense internal struggles in living up to his “name” and only existing to please his father... diego finding his relationships through his jaded nature towards his siblings and himself, and grappling with feelings of inferiority... allison’s coping with the effects her powers have had on her life, and trying to become someone without rumoring everything into existence, which is a new feeling altogether that she isn’t quite sure how to cope with... klaus going through intense development as a simultaneously self-obsessed and self-destructive drug addict that gets thrown into a gruesome war for a year, only to watch the person he loves most die, grappling with his ptsd from war & his abusive childhood, and discovering new powers... five coming back home after decades of solitude and then being used as a weapon, trying to reestablish himself within the group while dealing with an eating feeling that he doesn’t belong in his body or in this group.... vanya, oh vanya, with her depression, anxiety, feelings of loneliness and betrayal, feeling invisible and utterly ordinary, gripping to whoever makes her feel special (and dealing with that fallout) before suddenly being slammed with unbelievably powerful abilities that she can’t control.

in s2... yes, we get lesbian!vanya who becomes truer to herself, and - through intense struggle - finds a way to harness her abilities so she isn’t so out of control and can finally feel extraordinary herself. but much of the latter was given up for a vast majority of the season bc she literally didn’t know who she was (there was a positive in that though, which i’ll list in my positives list), and so we lost a LOT of potential coping and learning time, which easily could have mingled with her sissy storyline! allison’s storyline i actually dug, i don’t have too much gripe with it except that i wish her throat injury didn’t just kind of magically heal, and they could’ve addressed it more. the end of ben’s story was interesting, but still lacked depth imo. as for the other siblings.... it all just felt like a TON of jokes that were funny at first, but quickly became stale and had me wishing they would take the story a bit deeper. that said, a lot of the gags, jokes, and quips were great, but they could’ve been incorporated WAY more intelligently, and allowed for characterization at the same time. loads and loads of banter, not being balanced with poignancy like s1 did very well.

we could have seen luther’s descent into the criminal underworld, and why he felt the draw and obligation to go that route. a more detailed look at klaus’ beginnings and relationship with the cult, his motivations (which s2 kept super shallow), more of diego’s life inside the asylum and even beforehand. but no, we got five and old five farting.

2. the music - man, the s1 soundtrack was iconic, was it not? effortlessly cool scene/music combos, countless iconic music moments, brilliantly and thoughtfully done. this season felt like they said “music? oh ok throw music EVERYWHERE” and it was just. not. good. instead of music that intertwined with each scene like it was a character itself, amplifying the tone and adding a new layer (like in s1), the music this season was mostly just distracting, forgettable, and felt like they were this close to just making a bunch of music videos. i even found myself hating a couple of their choices (the rest i just kinda... forgot). i did like the vanya/allison/klaus dance scene, but other than that.... eugh.

3. the handler - I HATE. HATE HATE HATE. when shows/movie franchises do shit like make a big deal of killing off a villain or lead and then just being like “hehe jk uwu” and bringing them back with some totally bs reason that they lived. a metal plate? really? and she magically awoke... how long after? not to mention how unbelievably lazy and lame it is. they could’ve done so much more with carmichael and the swedes, but they had to bring back... the villain we already had? don’t get me wrong, i LOVEEE kate walsh, but come on. it’s season 2. give us something fresh.

4. the swedes - in s1, cha cha and hazel had personalities, wants, desires that were all explored. we knew their motivations, their doubts, their fears. we liked to watch them. then the writers threw in the swedes... who were completely devoid of any and all characterization (they could’ve gone in my #1 point too heyo), personality, backstory, anything. it was so painful that when each one died, it was clear that we were supposed to feel something for the others, but did any of you really feel anything? no. because we didn’t know these characters at all. they were walking guns, pretty much. nothing substantial.

5. ben & klaus - being someone who loves these two characters so, so much (hellloooo, my old url?), this one breaks my heart. i was so unbelievably disappointed with them this season. all either of them were was horrible to the other. in klaus’ case, he just decided to keep ben’s presence a secret, not even telling the group ben loved them, or that he was there. he called him his ghost bitch, he used him as a personal pet, he lacked sympathy or compassion. we saw a glimmer of hope when he allowed ben to possess him, but that’s where ben’s issues start. seriously, possessing your brother past his breaking point, fighting him out of his own bodily autonomy, until he is in a state of complete exhaution? then saying he “regrets nothing”? and then the show playing it off as ~comedy~ bc that’s almost all they cared about this season... no... there was nothing in their relationship this season that compared to last’s. no moments of tough brotherly love, where ben tries to help klaus through his drug/alcohol desires or ptsd flashbacks, no moments of teamwork (besides the brief moments of consenting possession before that was ruined), no tender moments between brothers in general. all just REALLY FUCKING LOUD “comedy”, anger, resentment, bickering, and cruelty, all played for laughs. not about it son

6. “we’re not blood related!” - and, once again, getting played for laughs... for a show that became uncomfortably self-aware with trivial fan desires (but not the deeper stuff...), they sure do lack a lot of common sense of realizing what we don’t want

7. hazel (& agnes) - they went through the trouble of saving hazel and agnes just to have agnes die off-screen before the season started, and for hazel to die five minutes into his only appearance? lame. lame lame lame.

8. plot pace - i don’t really recall any moments in s1 that i thought “this scene doesn’t need to be here”, “this is moving so slowly”, or “this is being really rushed”. there was plenty of all three of those in s2. s1 was constant, everything was either towards the main goal or was filled with private and fascinating character moments. i love just watching characters live and do their thing if it’s done properly... but those scenes this season really weren’t very entertaining (save one or two), didn’t really seem to serve a purpose or hold weight, and didn’t give us any character insight.

9. klaus - the reason he’s listed specifically even after i mentioned him in the first point, was because of how personally saddened i was by his “arc”, if you could call it that. i know, him being my favorite (along with vanya) in s1 isn’t an original thought. but the writers, directors, and robert created a character so entertaining, charming, layered, and multi-faceted that it was hard not to fall in love with him. for all his goofiness, he then got a shit ton of characterization and development in the war, in dave, in his ptsd and discovering his power. his poignant moments were so powerful because of how different it was from his typical outward appearance. and fuck if he didn’t develop! this season, klaus felt... shallow. the cult stuff had no depth, no real reason to be there at all (the show really wouldn’t be much different without it, besides it being how five and allison found klaus), and it was kind of a throwaway point anyway, just another tool to get - shocker - more laughs. those touching, serious klaus scenes were completely absent in s2... he was just the ~quirky~ and/or ~high/drunk~ guy. there was literally no depth to his character at all this season. yeah, he crawled from behind the desk in e9.... and what else? nothing. robert did all he could this season, but something tells me even he was probably disappointed by just how one-dimensional klaus was. he was really no different at the end than he was at the beginning of the season, which is a no-no.

10. klave - this is kind of an expansion of #9, but i was so disappointed by it that it needed its own spot. the only stuff that was supposed to be serious in klaus’ story - the klaus/dave stuff - was really not good. the moment the shopkeeper said “david?” in the store, i literally gasped bc i was so excited... but that was the last of any excitement i felt for the two, which, if you know me, is BONKERS considering how much i adore s1 klave. but this new young actor had ZERO chemistry with robert (fuck if rob wasn’t trying, though. it looked painful for him, but this guy really was just not well casted) (cody and rob were phenomenal together and had a fraction of the screentime this new actor had), and klaus being 30 and this actor/character being a kid was just... weird to watch. plus... so many white actors look the same, they really couldn’t find someone who looked like cody ray thompson? c’mon now ...... also, was there any point to it? at all? dave just wound up going anyway and there was literally no differences made in that situation. i think the writers thought they were catering to the audience by adding dave, but you need actors with chemistry (cody! cody!!!) and a good plot to do so.

11. s1 fallout - there really was none. that’s it. you’d think there’d be more after the explosions in the relationships of these siblings, but everything was just kind of glossed over.

12. sparrow academy - mostly here because... does this mean 7 more characters? meaning MORE time taken away from our og siblings, who already (mostly) didn’t develop well this season? i’m not gonna lie, i’m worried/

WHAT I LIKED

1. the chestnuts - i absolutely loved ray, loved allison, and loved their and their group’s work this season. the issue of race is so important all the time, but in the 60′s the tensions were so high and it would’ve been a joke if the show hadn’t addressed it or just kind of went with little racist remarks. these two had some of the most touching scenes of the season, and the sit-in scenes/every police scene had me incredibly anxious. that was well done, imo. which is proof that they still know how to do a good storyline, which makes me even more upset that the show was overall lacking that this season. i’m also so glad they didn’t go the “oh sry ray i still love luther’ route bc i literally don’t know if i would’ve kept watching. ANYWAYS im gonna miss ray sm :(

2. vanya & sissy - lesbian!vanya is all i want and more. vanya/sissy was all i want and more. these two, much like the chestnuts, breathed so much life into an often-dull season. so in love!!! vanya connecting with harlan even in just the most human ways!!! sissy finally standing up to carl (and carl d*ing god bless).... little found family oh my GOD!!! super devastated that sissy didn’t come back to the future with vanya, but because of harlan’s ending, something tells me we haven’t seen the last of them. oh and i am so conflicted about vanya’s amnesia, bc while i think so much more development could’ve happened without it, i also don’t think a lot of what happened with her and sissy could have happened, at least as quickly, if vanya was bogged down by guilt, anger, and lingering feelings of self-hatred and anxiety.

3. sibling dynamics - okay, this one is a contradiction, kinda sorta. i know i said the ben/klaus relationship was horrid. and i didn’t dig absolutely everything with all the siblings.... but they had some REALLY strong stuff this season. i know i’ve already mentioned it multiple times, but vanya/allison/klaus was everything to me this season. i knew i wanted klaus/vanya stuff happening, but adding allison to the mix gave it a whole new layer and they all just worked SO. DAMN. WELL. i just kind of wish it was vanya with her memories getting that bonding time, because i feel like the trio really could’ve gone in with how they all related to each other, their struggles, etc. but still, just some Happy Time was much appreciated. in addition to them, i really did dig a lot of almost every sibling dynamic this season. not every relationship got the attention it deserved, but it wasn’t too bad, it would be really hard to get all of that into 10 eps. plus, the fact that almost all of them grew so much closer was everyyyything. it’s odd, because good dynamics usually come with good development but uh..... nvm im keepin this section positive

4. the humor - another kind of contradiction, maybe. for some of the humor, i thought it went too long, was extremely heavy-handed, often took away from the plot, and some of it even degraded certain characters and situations (see examples throughout my points above). however, the stuff that didn’t fall into these categories was so, so good. some favorites: olga foroga, “think of batman, then aim lower”, “you look like antonio banderas with that hair” “thanks man”, i’m t h e d a d d y h e r e, “not everyone here likes you” “sounds ridiculous but go on”, klaus’ little pop culture quips to his cult, “being smart doesn’t make you interesting” “neither does that beard”, klaus calling ben to manifest and ben being like ”...nah”... there are plenty more, but these were the first i could think of in 60 seconds off the top of my head. some of it really was laugh out loud funny, which can be hard to do, especially consistently. if only they didn’t lean into it so damn hard, and put in WAY too much heavy-handed humor that it dampened the experience

5. old five - although i don’t love all of the stuff in the five/old five scenes, old five’s actor was fantastic! he got aidan’s mannerisms down really, really well. it’s always cool to see actors do that kind of thing when they play a character at a different age, or a character’s sibling, etc.

6. time period bigotry - i’m really, really glad they didn’t gloss over the intense racism and homophobia of the era. it was mostly brought up with allison, vanya, and klaus, and all three actors did a great job in their respective roles when expressing their reactions to the hatred. the scenes were really hard to watch, but well done.

7. pogo/grace/reggie - don’t get me wrong, i still hate reggie with a burning passion. but i actually found his scenes with these two really interesting, and it gave us great insight as to why pogo was always so loyal to reggie, and how grace was more than just a face on a robot to hargreeves. (which actually makes lack of development in our mains even more infuriating... they clearly knew to put some in there, where is it for the rest of the sibs who got nothing this season!!!)

alright, i’m gonna stop here. i’m sure i can think of more for each section, but i’ve been thinking this out and typing for an hour (holy shit) and it’s 2am and i need sleep xoxo

#anon #ask #tua2 #this is the most i've really sat and analyzed the season since it came out #feels good

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sebastbu · 4 years

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My Top 40 Movies of the Decade

***just my opinion***this list is not set in stone either***

1. 12 Years A Slave (2013)

What Steve McQueen has managed to do with this movie in nothing short of the best thing art is capable of. He takes the horror of humanity and turns it into a heart shattering tale of the best of humanity. A film that could have sunk easily among the brutality it contains, instead soars with Solomon’s survival. It is one of the most life-affirming, uplifting works of art I’ve ever seen. It makes you cry, it makes you shout, it makes you cheer, it makes you breathless. In short, all the things movies are best at. Not just a definitive movie, but a definitive work of art.

2. The Act of Killing (2012)

This has my vote for the best documentary film of all time. What begins as a transfixing profile of the mass murders responsible for the 1965 Indonesian genocide quickly transforms into a Brechtian nightmare as director Joshua Oppenheimer somehow convinces these men to stage scenes for a fake movie reenacting their crimes. As the film progresses you can hardly believe what you’re witnessing. Horrifying, yet you can’t look away. Oppenheimer holds your attention for every second. What’s captured for film here is truly unique, ground-breaking, soul shaking. A statement about the banality of evil as profound as Ardent’s essays.

3. The Tree of Life (2011)

Malick has reached his final form here. An organic art form, pure cinema, visual poetry, whatever you want to call it. Nothing but a movie could be this. The images he crafts here are as close to a religious experience as I’ve ever had watching a movie, and probably ever will. In exploring childhood memories, Malick’s style perfectly matches his subject manner. He use of ellipsis and fluidity mirrors the way memories flash through our heads. It is as if we are witnessing memory directly, unfiltered. This movie will move you in ways you didn’t know a movie could.

4. The Social Network (2010)

That Facebook movie? Hell yeah that facebook movie. What Fincher and Sorkin have managed to do is take what could be a standard biopic, or dull tech movie, and made it into an epic tale of betrayal, greed, friendship, coming of age, and identity. Ross and Reznor’s score pulses, as does the dialogue. This movie starts the instant you press play and it doesn’t let you catch your breath for one second until the very end. Endlessly quotable, perfected acted. A masterclass.

5. The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

What can I say about this movie? Every shot is perfect. Every joke, beat, pan, zoom. Well, I guess I’ll say this. This movie disarms with its charm, its facade. But at its heart is a wrenching tale of loss, nostalgia, and the fleeting nature of everything, especially those we love. A jewel of a film. Anderson makes sure you’re cozy and then pulls the rug out from under you, and suddenly you’re crying.

6. The Master (2012)

Career best performances from Joaquin Phoenix and Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Lushly shot. Greenwood delivers another ground breaking score. PTA has made an aimless film about aimless characters that nevertheless is riveting. At the end, you may not know exactly how far you’ve progressed, but you’re sure glad you went on the journey.

7. Drive (2011)

This is not an action movie. It’s a love story. The now famous dream pop soundtrack. Ryan Gosling doing so much with so little. Refn’s breathtaking cinematography. Diluted dreams. Crushed hopes. Silent gazes, filled with more emotion than dialogue could ever render.

8. The Revenant (2015)

An achievement of pure cinematic insanity. I still have no idea how they got some of these shots. A brutal, thrilling story of survival among nature’s cruelty. Inarritu’s camera is like magic in this film, uncovering the previously thought not possible.

9. La La Land (2016)

A reinvention of a genre that somehow manages to have its cake and eat it too: a nostalgia trip that also subverts expectations. Right up there next to Singin’ in the Rain, in my book at least. How on earth was that only Chazelle’s second ever movie?

10. The Lighthouse (2019)

TELL ME YE FOND O ME LOBSTER! WHYD YA SPILL YOUR BEANS? IF I HAD A STEAK ID FUCK IT. That about sums it up.

11. Parasite (2019)

Bong Joon Ho has made a beautifully twisted psychological thriller that is also hilarious, touching, and a lasting commentary on class and social mobility.

12. The Florida Project (2017)

Baker’s approach of setting this story from the viewpoint of children makes it a glorious romp through a world of innocence as well as tragedy, and also makes it all the more emotionally impactful.

13. Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)

It’s all about the cat. Alongside the Coen’s mastery of dialogue and the side character, as well as the beautiful folk music, this film acts as a deeply moving portrayal of depression, and how sometimes we are our own worst enemy.

14. Moonlight (2016)

Expertly crafted. Expertly acted. Expertly shot. A gorgeously rendered coming of age story. I’m not really the person who should speak of its importance. I’ll just say: it is. Very. A movie that will stun you.

15. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Practical! Effects! Yeah, that really is Tom Hardy swinging fifty feet off the ground on a pole as explosions go off behind him. A feminist, post-apocalypse, road trip movie brought to you by the director of Happy Feet and Babe 2. What more could you want?

16. Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

A wonderful celebration of childhood and of fantasy. Anderson crafts a world you want to return to again and again. Anyone else get jump scared when they realized Lucas Hedges was in this???

17. Arrival (2016)

I love Denis Villeneuve’s films for so many reasons. The most important I think is that he balances entertainment and artistic depth so well. Like all great scifi Arrival is not really about aliens, it’s about us.

18. Inception (2010)

A film that runs on all cyclinders. Smart, funny, jaw dropping, just plain fun. Nolan manages to build some surprisingly moving moments as well.

19. Gone Girl (2014)

Ah Fincher and his twists. Rosemund Pike at the top of her game. Ross and Reznor return with another gripping score. Around the narrative, Fincher creates a fascinating portrayal of the media and marriage, one with endless twists and turns. You never quite know where it’s headed.

20. Sicario (2015)

A second thing I love about Dennis Villeneuve: he does point of view characters better than anyone else.

21. Enemy (2014)

A third thing I love about Dennis Villeneuve: he plays with genre and narrative structure unlike anyone else working right now.

22. Incendies (2010)

A fourth thing I love about Denis Villeneuve: he’s given us some of the best female lead characters this decade.

23. Blade Runner 2049 (2017)

A fifth thing I love about Denis Villeneuve: he somehow managed make a Blade Runner sequel work. Here’s hoping for Dune.

24. The Look of Silence (2014)

The companion film of The Act of Killing. Oppenheimer does it again, this time focusing more on the victims of the genocide. Groundbreaking cinema.

25. Shame (2011)

Slow clap for Michael Fassbender. Slow clap for Carey Mulligan. Slow clap for Steven Mcqueen.

26. Hereditary (2018)

Using horror to examine mental illness and family trauma. Aster has made a new classic of genre, taking it to new heights.

27. Under The Skin (2014)

How to make a movie about an alien descended onto earth in order to capture men and engulf them in her weird black room of goo? Make a very alienation movie. Chilling. Otherworldly. Haunting.

28. Son of Saul (2015)

In making any holocaust film there’s always the risk of feeling exploitative. Nemes’s radical camera work, focusing almost entirely on the main character’s face in close up leaves this concern in the dust. The horrors enter only at the corners of the frame, while humanity is firmly centered the whole time. An important film everyone should see.

29. Whiplash (2014)

As visceral and heart pounding as the solos performed, the film as a whole is a perfectly made portrait of a obsession.

30. Amour (2012)

Haneke takes his unforgiving approach and lays bare a topic with incredible emotional depth. The result is deeply moving without ever being sentimental. I’m hard pressed to find another film about old age that is this poignant.

31. Birdman (2014)

A whirlwind of a film. A high wire act. The long takes turn it into something more akin to a play. A pretty damn good one at that.

32. Once Upon A Time In Anatolia (2011)

What’s Chekhov doing in the 21st Century? He’s in Turkey. He name is Nuri Ceylan.

33. The Favourite (2018)

Lanthimos turns down his style and turns up his humor. The result is the best of both worlds: a dark, twisted tale of power and a hilarious parody of monarchy and British costume drama.

34. Phantom Thread (2018)

PTA delivers again. What could easily have been another tired tale of the obsessive artist and the woman behind him is instead a fairy tale-ish ensnaring of two people’s ineffable pull towards each other.

35. A Hidden Life (2019)

Still fresh in my mind. Malick’s late style is given the backbone it needed in the form of a relevant tale of resistance and struggle. A meditative, prayer-like film about the power of belief.

36. Prisoners (2013)

A sixth thing I love about Denis Villeneuve: his movies have layers, but only if you look. Otherwise, the ride is pretty great as well.

37. Manchester By The Sea (2016)

A masterclass in doing less with more.

38. Foxcatcher (2014)

Bennett Miller does biopics unlike anyone else. That is to say, maybe better than anyone else working today.

39. The Witch (2015)

Eggers’s first foray into historical New England horror. A chilling commentary on the evils of puritanism.

40. The Kid With A Bike (2011)

The Dardenne brothers managed to make a gut-wrenching tale of childhood, masculinity, abandonment, the power of empathy, belonging, and redemption in 84 minutes. Here’s a suggestion. Watch this movie. Then watch it again. A better use of the same amount of time it takes to sit through The Irishman. Oh wait, no you still have 30 minutes left over.

#movies #top10 #decade list #movies list #2010s cinema

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nerdylittleshit · 5 years

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Thoughts about Spn 15x03

SPOILERS AHEAD! BEWARE!

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo… This episode man. I’m having emotions. Several of them. I love me some angst and well this episode delivered. Though I think that the promo for this week’s episode kinda spoiled the big character death at the end, so I really thought they might go another way. This episode focused on big character moments, with the Ghostapocalypse functioning as a vehicle for those moments. We do say goodbye to quite a few characters (though some just temporarily), so next week we will shift from an ensemble cast back to Sam & Dean, and what looks like a classic monster-of-the-week-episode, though given it is the last season there might be more to it. We will see. Until then, let’s have a closer look at this week’s episode.

Ketch me if you can

Let’s start with Ketch, who… well dies. And unfortunately next to Rowena’s big sacrifice you almost forget his death. Which felt a bit underwhelming to be honest. First of you don’t expect a hunter/former Men of Letter/ assassin to be killed by a demon. Why was there no protection in the hospital? No devil’s trap, nothing? And of course ketch died in the way we would not have expected of him: sacrificing himself to protect Sam and Dean. Which of course should show us how far he has come, how much he has changed, in particular by the Winchesters. And yet it kinda felt cheap, not only because we saw similar death scenes before or it felt too easy for Ardat to kill Ketch, but because Ketch’s death scene has to live up to Rowena’s and naturally he loses against that competition.

If anything Ketch’s death was yet another reminder that this is the last season, so the show tries to wrap up as many story and character arcs as they can, though I hope we will see other endings than characters who sacrifice themselves. You just can’t let them all die. And as mentioned Ketch’s death follows a pattern, we have seen characters like him and deaths like his before. Characters who start out as antagonists, become better through the Winchesters and end up giving their life for them: Meg, Crowley, and now Ketch and Rowena.

Like I said it kinda felt cheap, using the same trope over and over again, though perhaps this is yet another meta level. We have Dean pointing out that the Ghostapocalypse feels sort of sloppy and not like the ending they deserve. There were many complains among fans that this particular storyline did not feel scary or threatening, and that is perhaps the point. Chuck was improvising and turns out he is not as good as a writer as he thinks he is. So perhaps especially in this season whenever a storyline feels constructed or a trope overused this might be intentional. The strongest moments this season where the character moments: because their choices, their feelings, that is what is real. That is what matters.

Lilith Bo-Peep

Speaking of constructed storylines: there just happens to be a magical object that can get all the souls back to hell, you just haven’t heard about it because of reasons. Again the constructed story is a framework for various character moments: Cas and Belphegor’s conversation in hell, Belphegor’s betrayal, Cas who is forced to kill “Jack”, and how Dean used all of this to let out his anger at Cas (more of this later).

What I find interesting about Belphegor is that he used to work as a torturer in hell and he still tortures people, namely Cas, though less obvious. He has an excellent intuition for what would hurt someone the most. He has watched Sam, Dean and Cas only for a few days and yet he figured out their dynamic, knows that something is wrong between them. Of course when Cas tells Belphegor that Sam and Dean only use him and don’t actually care about him he just voices his own greatest fear, and Belphegor knows that and uses it against him.

For a moment it looks like Belphegor might become the new Big Bad (no thanks), so Cas did the only right thing at that moment and kills him, which of course was yet another torture, as Belphegor was still wearing Jack’s body. Cas already blames himself for Jack’s death and now he had to symbolically kill him again. And of course Cas couldn’t have known that this action would lead to Rowena’s sacrifice, so Dean blaming him for that is yet another thing.

Rowena the Brave

I have grown quite fond of Rowena over the years, especially since they moved her story away from Crowley and focused more on her. I’m not sure yet how to feel about her death to be honest. It was a great death scene (with phenomenal acting from both Ruth and Jared), it was a worthy end to her story, and yet I do not like in general killing of female characters, especially powerful, layered and complex female characters. And obviously this death beats her previous deaths because it had happened in her own terms, it was her own choice and she died a hero. I do believe she already had this plan B of hers in the back of her mind, knowing that something could go wrong with plan A. that is why she choose Sam as her assistant, knowing that when worse comes to worse she needed him to kill her.

And what is so interesting is her reasoning for her death. She claims that she does not care about Sam and Dean or the world, at least not enough to give her own life. But she believes in magic and in prophecies. Which actually is the opposite of Team Free Will, of believing in choice and rewriting your destiny. And the thing is, Rowena doesn’t have to die. If the Ghostapocalypse would have happened she probably would have survived, given her resurrection sachet. This is not a situation where she would have died either way, so she chose the one where she at least would save the others. But to her it is clear that everything that is happening is destined to be: the world about to end, her spell that needs the ultimate sacrifice and Sam with her. And of course it had to be Sam; killing herself would not have worked (or so she assumes), for her final death it had to be Sam killing her. And I always thought she took some comfort from knowing it would be Sam who kills her; Sam who would not be unnecessarily cruel. In the end she chose her death and the circumstances of it; Sam only killed her because she asked him to do it.

Rowena’s death mirrors both Crowley’s and Sam’s death, the two men she was closest to. Her final words are almost the same as Crowley’s and she lets herself fall into the open gates of hell the way Sam did in 5x22. Each of them (Rowena, Crowley, Sam) died to save the world, to protect the ones they love. So is this the end of Rowena? I saw some speculation floating around that she could become the new Queen of Hell, which I would approve. And is Sam now getting more into magic? Rowena already claims he is the most magical talented among them. We will see.

Break me up before you go-go

Let’s talk about that final scene between Cas and Dean, shall we? *rubshands* As I already said obviously Cas is not to blame for Rowena’s death. He couldn’t have known that his action would lead to her sacrificing herself. He did the best he could in the situation with Belphegor. So Dean blaming him for Rowena’s death is just an excuse. Dean is angry, at himself, the world, Chuck, and also Cas. But Cas is currently the only one he can throw at his anger. Dean decides for Cas that he is the one who will escort Belphegor to hell, and as Belphegor notices neither Sam or Dean seem to care too much about Cas, giving the risk of the mission.

Everything that happens hits all of Cas’s buttons, all his insecurities at once. He is afraid Sam and Dean don’t care about him and only want him around because he is useful. His powers are fading, which has actually nothing to do with Dean’s behaviour towards him, but to Cas it reads different. He fears he has no place in their family, telling Dean that at least Sam and Dean have each other. With Jack dead, with Chuck seemingly gone, he thinks he no longer has a reason to stay around. All of Dean’s behaviour made it obvious that he does not care about Cas, at least in Cas’s eyes. And on top of that Dean called him ‘wrong’. Cas has always been accused to be wrong, mostly from his angelic family. Too much heart, too close to the humans in his charge. Now his human family has dismissed him as well.

Ironically one of Dean’s greatest fear comes true as well: everyone he loves will leave him eventually. Though of course he is responsible for Cas leaving them. What is interesting about the Dean-Cas-Break-Up-scene is that it is happening at such an early point of the season. All their issues have been addressed and communicated. Dean knows now that Cas is afraid he does not care about him, that he only wants him around when he is useful, that he has no place in their family. It is up to Dean to prove him wrong. All of this need to happen in order for them to overcome their problems, to get to a healthier place in their relationship. Looking forward to it.

Until next week my lovelies <3

#supernatural #spn 15x03 #the rupture #spn meta #my meta

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honestsycrets · 5 years

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Unwelcome Eyes

❛ pairing | alpha!bjorn x omega!reader x elder!Rollo

❛ type | oneshot

❛ summary | Hey, could you write something where the reader is married to Bjorn and enjoy him on his raid for the Mediterranean and Rollo can’t take his eyes and mind off of her… Maybe Bjorn getting jealous and fucking the shit out of her or fighting his uncle, please? + ABO Universe

❛ warnings | smut, alpha male snaps, explosions, nsfw, threats

Being an omega meant a certain… few things.

It meant that being married to an alpha would be a naturally aggressive relationship. Not only for the simple fact that omegas and alphas were both prone to their own aggression in different manners– but your husband?

Bjorn Ironside. Whose temper was unyielding.

“So that is Rollo the traitor?” You ask, holding your cup of ale about your chest. Across the way was a man of a likewise tall physique. His long brown hair framed his pale face, casting a shadow upon his brilliant eyes.

He thought he snuffed out other alphas looking at you… Even when that other alpha was his very own so-called flesh and blood. Bjorn wasn’t sure why he was surprised that his uncle stood back against his throne waiting for you to finish eating. You take the last chunk of shredded chicken between your greasy fingertips, wiping it away on the dull brown dress you wore.

“He’s always been a traitor.” Bjorn rumbles, bringing his shoulder up to wipe the ale off of his beard. “There is a reason he summoned you out of the dungeon with me.”

“Let us see if he is as bad as is rumoured.” You reply.

It did little to frame your figure and for that, Rollo did not like it. You stand up to your uncle-in-law, looking at his sword on his belt in admiration for its craftsmanship. Your father was a blacksmith, lain now deep in the cold and unforgiving earth. The love for his passions remained in his absence.

“That dress.” His uncle says. “It does nothing for your figure.”

They had the same taste. As if that was a stretch. Their sexual reputation preceded them. Still, his uncle was not forgiven. Not for his betrayal in Paris and certainly not now, drooling over his beautiful wife. His hard stare turns to his uncle, holding him responsible for the eyes that would have been better popped out and on a dish.

This was what his uncle did. He betrayed him… and worse yet, you seem to be fond of the attention from the man who shamed his family in lavish Frankish robes.

“Oh, you think I have a figure under this?” You laugh. “I could be a bit of plank.”

“You wouldn’t have a Ragnarsson if you were a plank,” Rollo says fondly. The words seem to hurt his tongue as he says them, and still, you flutter your lashes at him. “And I know what a well-endowed woman looks like. I spent enough years chasing them.”

You look down to your toes, lifting your skirt just a bit over your ankle. Heavy breath forces its way out-- but it's not yours. It’s not Rollo’s either. Bjorn huffs out short breaths as he sits motionless, turning his head so that he might watch his uncle interact with you.

“What would you suggest?”

It’s a trap. You know it, Rollo knows it… and Bjorn, oh he knows you’re baiting him for a reaction, like the self-serving omega girl you are. Always in need of more affection. It works. Rollo looks to Bjorn, reading his heated gaze lingering upon your body standing before him. It’s a careful game he plays between the two of you. He steps behind you, his ringed fingers snatch your shoulders.

“Something fitted and rich.” Rollo drags his hands over your loose sleeves, caressing them. Bjorn sits upright, swinging his boots onto the other side of the bench. His legs bounce and bounce as he listens with teeth clenched. “Around the breasts-- and around the hips.”

“Wouldn’t that cling to my stomach?” You ask.

“Of course. That way, when you are with child, you can show it off.” By now, Rollo’s fingertips have swept over your stomach, calculating in every sweep of his fingertips. His soft touch is far from the brash warrior you heard in stories as a girl. You were told that Rollo was a beast of a man who left children in his wake and sundered families.

“I’m not interested in having babies yet.” You laugh it off.

“Maybe not.” Rollo shifts to look over at a servant whose hands are heavy with fabric. Her eyes look down in furtive regard as if-if she focused hard enough she could disappear altogether into the stone floors. “Bring that here.”

The servant girl walks to her master and offers up the goods in her arms. Bjorn’s eyes narrow upon the priceless gown that Rollo unrolls from her, throwing jewelry into his throne. It’s some sort of fine silk with a tailored neckline that is modestly low.

“Now this dress is fit for a princess.” Rollo states.

“Well, it does like beautiful.” You glaze your eyes over the fabric, jealously looking toward the fine silk.

“Would you like it?” Rollo asks, enjoying the glisten in your eyes. Excitement unfurls in your belly and he knows it.

“Then you should take that rag off.”

Without concern for your husband nor anyone else in the room, you loosen the ties on the back of your dress and dip down. Bjorn’s eyes widen and focus upon your movements, peeling the layers of dress from your thin ankles.

“Beautiful,” Rollo says in a slow, calculated tone. Rollo’s eyes are indecipherable and wrought in obfuscation as the women in the room gasp clearly unable to understand the intentions of a woman that would peel away her clothes in the presence of an estranged uncle-in-law and a husband who at that very moment, whirls his cup across the room.

It’s the start of the end-- because you hear Bjorn’s ripping steps behind you. He pants in his heavy steps. You could feel his anger frothing and in fact, you nearly taste it on your tongue barreling past you. The statuesque guards animate to bring up sword and shield but its already too late with Bjorn’s hands digging into his uncle’s tunic, whirling him around off the steps only to toss him across the stone floors.

“Leave him! Get out.” Rollo holds up his hands, feigning as if he had no intention to fight his nephew. Bjorn storms down the steps, fisting Rollo’s lavish tunic with one hand and raising his fist up with the other. The blows collide with his uncle’s face in something subhuman-- as if something had switched off for Bjorn, chucking his uncle to the floor over and over again.

A final punch leaves Rollo bloody and strewn on the floor, but the only reason it was a final punch-- and not just another punch?

“Are you done yet?” You say not the least bit concerned for the old, ex-Viking. Bjorn rolls about, dilated eyes focusing on you waving forward and back, your hands on your hips. Naked and oh, so proud, sitting upon one of the arms of the throne.

You were bating him! He drops Rollo’s collar and stands upright. He’s coming for you-- and the only thing you do? Giggle and run your hands through your lavish long hair. Bjorn barrels up the stairs, huffing in annoyance when you don’t move for a thing but instead, reach out to stroke his cock through his trousers that were wound into ties. He jerks you up from his uncle’s throne and-- in response, you grip the arms of the chair. A hand holds you in place behind your neck. You scrunch your shoulders up, eyes screwing shut tight as the round head of your husband’s cock prods for your hole.

He sinks inside of your soaked hole, dropping his other hand to the back of your neck. You were enjoying this-- the attention from Bjorn in the middle of a now empty throne room. Well, empty but for Rollo rolling up to sit, watching his nephew’s pleasure splashing over Bjorn’s face.

“You’ve forgotten who I am.” Bjorn throws a spiteful look over his shoulder. Rollo staggers up to stand, a look indecipherable to you on his facial expressions when you look over your shoulder. But Bjorn can read it as clear as any man could with a wife that was appealing to the rivaling alpha males. Especially a wife that was an omega, a precious one at that.

Rollo thought himself exceedingly good at the art of artifice, but he wasn’t-- and this was what he had to show from it. His hips drawback, punching out forceful breaths as he draws his hips harder, faster, more intent on christening the crown with his heathen spunk. Rollo watches from afar, your breasts jiggling as he moves. The words flow from his lips, soft and husky as he turns his hooded gaze back to you, the hand on the back of your neck holding you submissively below him on the chair.

“Your father and I shared once,” Rollo says as if its an afterthought. The wrong afterthought as he speaks of Lagertha, his mother. Bjorn knows that much to be true. Bjorn says nothing else, knowing that perhaps Rollo’s idea of sharing might be to keep him in this Frankish hell. No.

��But you’ve forgotten who I am, uncle. I am Bjorn Ironside.” Bjorn barks out, booming the walls of the throne room. The words shoot straight down to your cunt-- causing you to clench him with more purpose, even if at this angle, that almost felt impossible. “I don’t share. Isn’t that right, (Y/N)? Tell him.”

“No.” You disobey him blatantly.

You grit your teeth together, the stubborn little omega that you are doesn’t let you concede to it. He’ll have to work harder if he wants you to say that. Even if you are bent over Rollo’s throne, nails digging curling indentations into the wood with your husband pounding your pussy raw over, and over, and over again.

“Tell him!” He booms.

“Fuck you.” You snap back in quick work of your tongue. Bjorn’s hand snaps back over your ass, giving you a sharp rippling slap for what you said. His large palm leaves a nasty red print, welts sure to last as with every second of your disobedience, you deserve another and then another. Your eyes squeeze tight together and form a ridge of wrinkles, holding out on crying out for him yet again as your pussy throbs around his cock. It’s what Bjorn wants.

“Tell him, wife. Tell him all about whose woman you are.”

He wants your screams to infest this Frankish stronghold-- to spill out of the room and show his prowess. Prince of the Danes, Bjorn Ironside, soon to become king. Your stubbornness pisses him off and despite your eyes straining to focus on the precious cushion, you’re aware of the fact that you’re soaking him in juices. Your muscles quiver as they strain to hold you up upon the chair. At last, a shout falls from your lips, wrenching louder and louder with one of Bjorn’s hands between your legs, leasing your engorged lips in teasing spirals before seeking out the perfect combination to leave your shouts into barely recognizable groans.

The work of his fingers reminds you of the first time you met him by your elder sister Aslaug’s side. Surfacing from the water after a long breath and praying that Ragnar’s men hadn’t seen you-- but Bjorn, Bjorn always saw you. He saw right through your antics and right now, with his dick stretching and filling your pussy with every fuck of his hips, you knew he knew you for just who you were.

“I’m -is, I’m his, I’m his! Bj-- Bjjorn, Bjjjjorn ple-ase!” It doesn’t matter that your words are nonsensical. Only that you’ve said them, and more than that, Rollo hears them with his ale to his lips.

“There you go.” Bjorn leans over you as you descend into the burning white roiling pleasure that claims you. He opens and closes his mouth with sharp puffs as you gush, exalted in your pleasure. You’ve cum without him by far-- but your bear of a husband pants louder and louder with his intent on using you for his pleasure. Nevermind that your clit felt raw from your orgasm. It didn’t take long, or rather, it didn’t feel like it did with his thick muscles shifting against your back. He plunges deep, filling you with his seed while his forehead rests against your back, cringing the whole way through. You pray that he wouldn’t pop a knot this time because the humiliation would be thick.

No such luck.

Rollo sits drinking his ale, waiting for his nephew’s knot to go down. As soon as it does, Bjorn tucks himself away and jerks you to stand back up.

“Get your dress.” He demands.

“She can take the new one,” Rollo says from down the stairs. “It’s fit for a queen.”

Bjorn says nothing as your dress in silk and a sheer overlay, clinging to his arm dressed in Frankish jewels. Then, he extends his hand out to you.

“Come shieldmaiden. We’ll see Rollo on the boat.” He says, dragging your arm closer to him. You glance after your shoulder, waving playfully to him. This time, however, Bjorn tugs your arm close to his chest. He leans in before speaking. “If you ever try and leave my bed again, I’ll tie you to it.”

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#Bjorn Ironside x Reader #vikings imagines #vikings imagine #viking imagine #bjorn imagine #bjorn ironside imagines #Bjorn x Reader #Bjorn/Reader #the vikings #vikings fic

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alecthemovieguy · 5 years

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Being Nicole

‘Supergirl’ star Nicole Maines’ passion for transgender rights makes her super in real life, too

Transgender activist and actor Nicole Maines knew she was a girl around the age of 3 or 4.

“My case is kind of unique because I have a twin brother (Jonas),” she told Ellen Degeneres during an appearance on “Ellen” in 2018. “So, growing up with him, he was identifying with all these male things and feeling very comfortable in his body, and I wasn’t.”

Maines, the subject of the Mount Washington Valley’s One Book One Valley community read “Becoming Nicole,” slowing began publicly transitioning in the first grade, and officially presented herself as female in the fifth grade, when she changed her name from Wyatt to Nicole.

Maines, who is turning 22 on Oct. 7, became the center of the precedent-setting Maine Supreme Judicial Court case Doe v. Regional School Unit 26 regarding gender identity and bathroom use in schools. Maines had been barred from using the female bathroom after a complaint, but the court ruled that denying a transgender student access to the bathroom consistent with their gender identity is unlawful.

In 2018, Maines debuted as Nia Nal/Dreamer, television’s first transgender superhero, on “Supergirl.” She is returning as a series regular for season five which premieres Sunday, Oct. 6, at 9 p.m. on The CW.

One Book One Valley has a series of events throughout October culminating in an evening with “Becoming Nicole” author Amy Ellis Nutt on Thursday, Oct. 24, at 7 p.m. at Loynd Auditorium at Kennett High School in North Conway, N.H. In addition to Nutt, the plan is to have the Maines family be part of the discussion through a Skype connection.

I recently talked with Maines about growing up transgender, activism, privilege and the upcoming season of “Supergirl.”

“Becoming Nicole” is beautifully written, but it is very journalistic and academic in its approach. Is there anything you would’ve done differently or included in telling that story?

I don’t know. I think, of course, Amy did a phenomenal job, and I am so happy with how the book came out because I think it really does have something for everyone, whether or not you’re just starting to learn about transitioning and you’re looking for something new. But there was so much that had to be cut out in the final editing process and, unfortunately, a lot of what did get cut out was original writing from Jonas’ perspective. I don’t know if it was something I would’ve done differently, I think it is more of a shame that it couldn’t make it into the final cut. It was just so long before it was cut. So, I do hope at some point people do get to see that because it is really, really beautiful.

In “Becoming Nicole,” a therapist told your parents that you weren’t transgender because you were peeing standing up. What are some other examples you’ve encountered of misinformation about what transgender is?

Where do I even begin? So many people think that it is one of those things that you can kind of slap a label on and say, “This is what this is,” and with something as expansive as gender it is really impossible to paint it as very black and white. So many people have tried to say “Oh, all trans people look like this. This is how you spot a trans person.” And that’s 1) offensive, and 2) not true or realistic.

I think a lot of that has to do with how historically we are represented in the media: men in dresses and this and that. It is so much more expansive than that. No one group of people looks a certain way, and it is dangerous to try to categorize people like that. So, I think besides the peeing standing up, which is ridiculous, what is equally ridiculous is the idea that some people think that they can spot a trans person, and that’s sort of the whole basis of their argument.

You know how sometimes you read certain blogs or you read certain Twitter accounts just to make yourself mad? I stumbled across one, it was a really popular TERF account — which stands for trans-exclusionary radical feminists, which is pretty much feminists who believe trans women aren’t women, and they use recycled rhetoric from the ’70s saying that trans women are just men trying to invade women’s spaces and stupid shit like that. It was this person going on and on about, like, “Oh, none of you pass. None of you look like women. Yada yada yada.” And I was like, 1) no room to talk because her haircut was atrocious, and 2) come say it to my face. It really made me mad. It is atrocious that people think they can spot something like that. It is ridiculous.

It is kind of like the back-handed compliment that I receive a lot, that is “Oh, you don’t look trans,” or “Oh, never really would’ve guessed.” A lot of the time, I try not to jump on people for that because I know it is coming from a place where they’re trying to give me a compliment, but what does trans look like? What did you think I was going to look like?

And, of course, everyone thinks that we are supposed to look like men in dresses, which — even if we did — is rude as hell to say something like that because, not only is that stupid, but it is also reinforcing negative beauty standards among women, not just trans women, but women. Because you hear about the bathroom bills and they are like, “Oh, we are going to enforce no trans people in bathrooms.” Well, how are you going to enforce that? And then you get cases of cis women getting kicked out of the bathrooms because they look more masculine than others. Even for cisgender women that is not a black and white line. People look different, and it is totally unfair and unreasonable to say just because someone has harder features than somebody else that this is what is going on in your pants. That feels like a wild, crazy assumption to me.

So, obviously your father always loved you, but he struggled with your identity. Was there a specific moment when you finally felt truly seen by him?

I know a lot of moments where he really started having light bulb moments. I think for me, one of the first moments where I felt like I started being seen was when I started wearing girl’s clothes to school. My transition started going there slowly, but between second and third grade I had gone from wearing longer hair to wearing girl’s clothes all the time. I don’t know if it was even just my father, but by everyone, but that is when I started feeling like I was being seen. Then in fifth grade was when I had fully transitioned. I was allowed to pierce my ears and I was allowed to wear skirts and dresses. That really felt like I am seen. And then, of course, when my father finally started fighting for me. Because I knew, at that point, he still didn’t fully understand, but when he started defending me and defending my transition and my using the girl’s bathroom, I felt like I had him on my side.

I love last season of “Supergirl.” One of my favorite moments was when Nia Nal/Dreamer publicly announced herself as both an alien and a transgender woman because it put a positive face on a group who were being demonized in the show. How important do you think it is to give a face to marginalized people?

It is incredibly important. The best way to fight against marginalization and the most effective way that we fight back against people who are trying to erase us is with visibility. When you have an administration who, for incidents in a crazy hypothetical, removed me from the 2020 census, then the best way to combat that is to be more visible than ever. By saying, OK, you’re trying to make people think that we are not valid, you’re trying to make people think we don’t exist and that we are not solid and valid in our identities and our existence. Well, then we are going to show you that we are. We are going to show you: no, you cannot ignore us because we are here and it doesn’t really matter what you believe. It doesn’t really matter if you say, “Well, I don’t really believe in transgender.” Well, it isn’t really something for you to believe in because whether you like it or not, we are here. We exist and that’s not a matter of opinion. You do not get to choose whether or not my identity is valid because I am not doing it for you and we are not going to let you erase that. So, I think visibility is the number one method of defense against erasure.

Based on the trailer, the new season of “Supergirl” partially deals with the betrayal and anger Lena Luthor feels toward Carol Danvers hiding her identity of Supergirl from her. This seems like an apt metaphor for the similar sense of betrayal, hurt and confusion some people feel when a loved one comes out as trans or gay. Do you think that is intentional?

I don’t know if it was intentional. I think because there are so many different layers with Carol and Lena’s relationship, and especially with the Kryptonian-Luthor relationship. I think it is hard to boil it down to just that, because I get why Lena is upset and I get why those feelings are floating around, but personally, I’m kind of like nobody owes any facet of their identity to anybody but themselves. If they did not feel that they wanted to share a part of their identity with you, you don’t get to be mad about that. That is something that belongs entirely to them and if they did not choose, for whatever reason to disclose that part of themselves, that’s not because you necessarily did anything wrong, that’s because they had a choice and that’s not necessarily on them either. But, like I said, it is different between being trans and being a superhero. It is hard because, at the same time, it is like, “Oh, you were treating me like Lex, and I’m not Lex. You can trust me.” So, there’s a whole bunch of other stuff floating around, but I don’t know if it was a 100 percent intentional, but there are definitely connections.

That’s the great thing about sci-fi is that it can always be used as a metaphor for exploring social issues.

Absolutely.

How will Nia Nal be challenged in the new season?

The theme of this season is communication, and so something Nia is struggling with the first chunk of the season is communicating with how she feels with Brainiac because they’ve been dating and they have been having communication issues. Neither of them are the best at relationships, and so this is kind of a new area for her and she’s trying to work out, “How do I express how I feel without hurting you?” And that’s something she struggles with a lot. It is being open and honest with how she’s feeling and trying not to bottle up what she is feeling for the sake of other people.

What I also really love about Nia Nal is when she puts herself out there — kind of going off the whole thing of passing — she does pass as both a human and a woman, and so she doesn’t need to put herself out there, but by doing so she empowers others. Do you also try to lead by example in your own life?

Absolutely, I recognize 100 percent as Nia and as Nicole that I have an insane amount of privilege. I’m white and, like you said, I pass and I’m on TV. And I mention that I am on TV because when we look at issues like HB2 and we look at bathroom bills and stuff like that, that is not necessarily going to affect me as someone who passes and as someone who is in Vancouver. I’m working in Vancouver, HB2 will not affect me. I am not there. But I recognize that there are issues that are affecting members of my community who don’t have the same significant platform that I do. And so it is my responsibility as a member of that community, as someone with that platform, to lift them up and to start to shine a light on issues that are affecting members of my community, even if I personally will not feel the impact of that harmful legislation.

It is important and that’s what we talk about in feminist circles. We are always talking about how can people with privilege use that privilege to lift others up, to better the situation of others who don’t have those some privileges. We ask that of men, we ask that of white people, we ask that of abled-body people, of trans women who pass. We ask that people use their privilege responsibly. And so that is what I try to do and I hope that I am succeeding. I just try to use my platform and use my voice to talk about issues that I feel matter.

Going back to “Becoming Nicole,” the book discusses “The Little Mermaid” as a metaphor for being transgender because Ariel doesn’t feel she belongs in the ocean and everyone tells her you have to be with your own people blah, blah, blah. Ariel was one of your favorite characters growing up, do you feel even at a young age you were drawn to this character because your struggle paralleled her struggle?

I guess subconsciously, yes, but on a surface level, I liked mermaids. I don’t know why I liked it so much and that’s why I say subconsciously I was drawn to it. I remember loving that more than anything else. I loved everything about her. I remember I was like, “That is what I want for myself.” I was like, “She is so beautiful, and she is so graceful,” which is not a trait that I’ve been able to replicate in my own life. I remember being so drawn to her, and I was like “Mom, Dad, that is what we are going for. That is the look.” Between her and, I’ve said it before, Storm from the X-Men. I remember watching “X-Men: The Animated Series” as as kid and she had that hair and the cape and was like “Oh, that’s drama. I love it.”

And now you have your own cape.

Well, metaphorically speaking. I don’t have a superhero cape. I feel a little cheated.

Well, maybe you can get one.

No, I have the best supersuit. It is shiny and holographic. It is awesome.

One part I really liked in “Becoming Nicole,” I think it was before you were going to enter fifth grade, you were asked what kind of story you’d tell and you said it would be this mystery/comedy/fantasy with a sassy character and a sidekick who was even sassier. If you were to write that story now what do you think it would look like?

Oh my God. Well, it would definitely have the sassy character and the sassier sidekick, because I remember growing up I was always the biggest fan of the sassy comic relief characters, which is why I tried to play that role in my own regular life, which took some getting used to. I remember in middle school people didn’t exactly get the whole me trying-to-be-funny and I think it just came across as annoying. If I was going to write that story now, I think it would absolutely be about murder that would be the mystery. The comedy that would manifest itself in probably macabre, offbeat humor about murder. And then the fantasy ... they are all vampires. I’m just describing “Bit.”

I haven’t been able to find anyway to watch “Bit” (which stars Maines as a transgender teen who falls in with four queer feminist vampires, who try to rid Los Angeles' streets of predatory men), but I am very interested in that film. What was it like making that?

It was so amazing and I hope you’ll be able to watch soon. Right now, it is making its festival rounds, and hoping someone will choose to distribute it, and we’re like, “Pay us, please!” It was so incredible. Everyone on set was amazing and our writer/director Brad Michael Elmore is the coolest dude on the planet. I was talking about using our privilege to tell stories that matter and to raise up minority voices, and that’s absolutely what he did in this situation. I know a lot of the festivals we have gone to have been feminist festivals and gay festivals, and we’ve had a significant amount of people kind of be like, “Oh, you were written by a straight cis white guy,” and we’re like,“Yeah, and he’s doing exactly what we want him to be doing, which is using his privilege to create this super awesome movie featuring queer and interracial talent, this intersectional group of feminists.” We had a female DP which how awesome is that? We had this super awesome kaleidoscope of different identities in this film and I feel like some folks are very quick to write it off because it was written by a straight cis white guy. 1) I don’t feel that is fair to Brad, and 2) I don’t think that is fair to the movie. The movie is so cool and the movie deals with such cool issues and it approaches them all in such a fucking awesome way. To write it off because of who our director is feels very shortsighted.

And obviously you wouldn’t say or do anything that felt disingenuous to your own experience.

Yes, absolutely. I was like, “Ye of little faith.”

When you were 13 years old you went to the Maine statehouse and spoke to dozens of representatives to convince them to vote against a bill that would make it legal to discriminate against trans people. Do you have any interest in getting into politics either working for a campaign or as a candidate yourself?

I think I would be willing to support someone else’s campaign. Politics are not for me. I do not have the stomach for that. I do not have the patience for that. I know where my lane is and it is absolutely not going for an elected position. I am more the person who shows up when the politicians are not doing what they are supposed to be doing. That’s when I get involved.

The big thing I took away from “Becoming Nicole” was that prejudice and hate is something that is taught, because the boy who started harassing you the most was told by his grandfather that you were wrong and that he should go after you. And so I guess the question is, what do you do to undo these wrongheaded lessons that are passed down by parents or grandparents?

I think the first step comes from within. You cannot make anybody do anything. You cannot make somebody unlearn hate and prejudice. That journey has to start with themselves. With my father — and, of course, he was never outwardly hateful or anything, I always knew he loved me — but his journey to acceptance started with him deciding to pick up Jennifer Finney Boylan’s book (about being a transgender woman) and read it. He had to ask himself what he was so afraid of if his son was his daughter. He had to ask himself what about that terrified him so much. And that’s what every person has to do.

Every person has to be aware of their own prejudices and their own biases. We all have them. We have to be aware of them. We have to actively work to undo them because it is something we are taught, not even just by our parents or caretakers, but through television and society. We are pumped full of biases and prejudices that we are not even aware of, and so we have to pay extra care and extra caution to do undo those. And when we catch ourselves, we have to recognize, “No, that’s not right” and go from there.

It has to be a conscious choice, and so that is hard. It is a hard thing to do. It is a really gross feeling to try to unlearn stuff like that, and so a lot of people won’t do that because a lot of people are more comfortable being like, “No, I don’t get it, that’s gross, I don’t like it and I’m going to hate it.” That is much easier and much more comfortable then asking yourself what you are afraid of. As socially responsible participants in the community, we have a responsibility to ask that question anyway. All of us have to ask that question and not just about trans issues, because if we don’t do that, if we are looking for what is easy and what is comfortable at the expense of other people, then stay inside.

And I feel like the biggest thing is if you’re afraid of a gay person or trans person or black, Hispanic, whatever social issue, if you actually talk to these people that you are afraid of, that you’d see that they are just human beings.

That is the number one thing. It is so much easier to marginalize a group of people when you are not putting names to faces, when we are not putting faces to groups, when you are dehumanizing them. It is so much easier to sweep their plights under the rug and be like, “Oh, they don’t matter,” because you are not talking to them, you’re not seeing them as people. That’s why I always say, “Come say it to my face.” It is so much harder to be an asshole to someone’s face because you have to look them in the eye and tell them their rights don’t matter.

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unexpectedreylo · 6 years

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Spoilerific Thoughts On “Solo”

Rosé All Day In The GFFA!

As of writing, I’ve seen the movie twice and I really enjoyed it both times. Forget those tales of a troubled production; Ron Howard made a solidly entertaining, fun film with lots of goodies and surprises for fans of most stripes.

“Solo” is basically a heist movie and a Marvel-esque origin story at the same time. When we meet Everyone’s Favorite Smuggler, he’s a runaway living in Corellia’s dark and filthy underworld hoping for the big score to get him and his girlfriend Qi’ra away from their Fagin-like “master.” We march through Han’s escape from Corellia, how he ended up with his last name, his abrupt and necessary decision to go to the Imperial Academy, his time as an Imperial officer, his first meeting with Chewbacca, and his re-entry into the galaxy’s underworld with his mentor, Tobias Beckett. We witness his first meeting with Lando Calrissian and finding the love of his life, at least the one that isn’t a breathing person, the Millennium Falcon. The famous sabacc game? It’s there. So’s the legendary Kessel Run. All of the while, Han’s penchant for trouble and not listening to anyone but himself puts him in danger over and over. It’s all great character development and enjoyable to watch. But there’s more! In “Solo,” we see the gray and topsy-turvy world of the galaxy’s criminal class. Sometimes it appears glamorous and beautiful, sometimes it looks just like what it is: dirty and awful. The good turns out to be bad and the bad turns out to be good. All of the while, Beckett reminds Han never to trust anyone.

So, you might ask, what did you think of Alden Ehrenreich? Alden was in the same crappy position that Chris Pine was in while playing Captain Kirk in the more recent Star Trek films; it’s very difficult to step into a very famous role played by a very famous actor. Ewan McGregor had a similar problem but because he played Obi-Wan decades younger, it gave him a lot more wiggle room to define the character himself while making it credible he and Alec Guinness were playing the same guy. Ehrenreich and Pine were playing their respective roles less than 20 years younger than their more legendary incarnations. That’s tough. I’m certain some people are blowing off this film simply because they can’t accept someone else playing Han Solo. The other side of that coin is it’s precarious in HOW you play the character. Take on too much of Ford’s affectations, it looks like an impersonation, one that could descend into parody fast. Completely ignore them and people won’t connect that it’s Han Solo at all. Now, Ehrenreich doesn’t really look much like Ford. He’s shorter, his nose is smaller, the whole shape of his face is different. There’s only a bit of resemblance around the eyes and the makeup people thoughtfully added Ford’s chin scar. It’s a little jarring when you realize that eventual son Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) really does look related to Ford while Ehrenreich looks like neither one of them. My mom the movie critic, who saw the movie with me and my brother the first time, thought Ehrenreich is actually better-looking than Ford. But (and there’s always a but) attitude can make up for a lack of resemblance. More on that in a second. For what it’s worth, Ehrenreich does have the right attitude. It’s like seeing a more boyish Han, one who gets by on b.s. and bluster, who’s a tiny bit full of himself, and who hasn’t experienced a decade’s worth of betrayals yet to come and other things that made him far more world-weary in ANH. This Han is charming and self-assured, a cinnamon roll whose circumstances define him but won’t defeat him and turn him into well, Qi’ra. From this movie, it’s easy to see why he was drawn to Rey in TFA. He saw a lot of himself in her.

Everyone does a pretty bang up job in the film performance-wise. I have to say Donald Glover absolutely kills it as Lando. Glover doesn’t really look like Billy Dee Williams but he’s got the Lando-ness down perfectly: the smoothness, the vague sleaziness, the flair for fashion, and all around cool. He even nailed Williams’s way of speaking without making it an impersonation. Glover has so much charisma in the part, I really wouldn’t mind seeing him again in his own adventure. Woody Harrelson was an excellent fit as Beckett. Harrelson brings his own charisma and worldliness as the father figure who initiates Han into the life that as prophesized, he never got out of. Casting him was a great idea. Also worthy of mention is Phoebe Waller-Bridge as L3-37, or simply “L3.” Funny and sassy, you’ll be touched by her short time onscreen. And the mysterious Enfys Nest (Erin Kellyman) who turns out to be not quite what we thought.

The surprise in this turned out to be Emilia Clarke as Qi’ra. Of all the new characters, she’s easily the most fascinating. She’s beautiful, smart, resourceful, and tough but also a bit of a femme fatale. She has a heart but she’s also hungry and hell bent on not ending up a Corellian street rat again. She is what Han could have been with a few degrees of difference in his personality or more time spent a virtual slave on Corellia, what Rey could have been had she decided to trade on her looks and feminine wiles for material security from crime bosses. The interesting thing about her is she clearly cares about Han. I don’t know if she loves him per se but she does care about him enough to know she has to protect him from her. She’s sort of like that old Amy Winehouse song, “You Know I’m No Good.” Paul Bettany’s character and Beckett both warn Han that he doesn’t know her as well as he thinks he does and that she’s done some pretty bad things. We know for sure she allied herself with a crime syndicate that has committed atrocities and well, we find out toward the end how far her darkness extends. She accepts Han’s affections but to a point. Why? She knows they can’t get attached. At the end, when she splits in the mobile Crimson Dawn HQ, it seems to parallel the last Force bond seen in TLJ. In TLJ, Rey has to do it for her own sake as well as Kylo’s. In this movie, Qi’ra does it for Han’s own good. The more he’s kept away from this stuff the better, not so much IMO she fears that lifestyle would destroy him as she realizes at some point her knife has to go between Han’s shoulder blades if he keeps hanging around.

Poor Han. Not only can the guy never escape trouble, he’s constantly faced with betrayal throughout his life, which it is easy to see why he leans so much on Chewie. Say what you will about Chewbacca, but he’s the one of the very few beings who never lets Han down. Sadder yet are the implications of Han’s upbringing and his relationships with authority/father figures. In one conversation with Lando, Han mentions his blue collar dad that he wasn’t close to. Who knows what THAT relationship was like? Han tells his Imperial recruitment officer that he “has no people,” so the officer christens him Solo. (For all we know, Han’s real last name is Wallbanger or Horowitz or Seymour-Butts.) Why Han was on the streets is still a mystery. Did Han simply run away from home? Was it disagreement and butting heads or was there severe dysfunction, i.e. addiction, abuse, neglect? Did Han do something to the old man? We don’t know and it’s not like Han to tell. Han takes to Beckett as a surrogate father figure who of course betrays him. Another fascinating and tragic parallel takes place near the end of the movie. Most people pay attention more to the “Han shot first” aspect of it rather than how this scene predicts Han’s eventual fate in TFA. Han kills his father figure just as his own son will eventually kill him. Han of course was acting in self-defense but it’s tragic all the same. Han’s family situation also predicts the struggles he has in his relationship with Ben Solo. In this context it makes sense that a man who had no idea what a dad is like would struggle to be one himself, especially since he’s almost or at middle age when it finally happens.

Another thing to love about “Solo” is its careful attention to the mythos. The film has the style and feel of Brian Daley’s novels from back in the day, while much of Han’s backstory, known to Star Wars lore fans for decades, is in here. Moreover, elements from the expanded universe, video games, The Clone Wars, and the prequels are brought in to great effect. Teras Kasi? Glee Anselm? The Maw? Carrida? Aurra Sing’s fate? Colo claw fish roe as an appetizer? It’s all in here!

I will say this: DARTH MAUL’S SHOCK CAMEO GIVES ME LIFE!!!

I blurted out, “What the hell?!” when he turned up at the end of the film. (I also had to explain to my brother, who had never seen The Clone Wars or Rebels, why Maul was still alive.) A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one. That Qi’ra is working for him has a whole host of implications for her and possibilities for Maul to return in other Star Wars canon. And yes, that’s Ray Park reprising his role and Sam Witwer voicing him.

“Solo”’s score is pretty good, a mix of original and unique music and John Williams’s classic scores. Listen for some fun callbacks like “Asteroid Chase” from TESB.

Like “Rogue One,” “Solo” is a smaller movie than the bigger, sweeping main saga flicks. It doesn’t have TLJ’s artistic ambitions or haunting quality. But there’s room for a movie that’s pure fun with a few more layers than expected.

#solo han solo ben solo star wars solo: a star wars story

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an-avid-reader · 4 years

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Onyx (Lux #2) - Jennifer L. Armentrout

my rating: 4/5 stars

**since this is the second book in a series, the synopsis below is for book 1:

After losing her father, Katy and her mom move across the country to West Virginia. With her luck, Katy's new neighbour is pleasing to the eyes...maybe even abnormally so. But that's not all, this town has it's secrets--maybe that's just how small towns are. Little does Katy know that her new neighbours Daemon and Dee are more than they appear to be. As Katy is swept into Daemon and Dee’s lives, she quickly learns that they are aliens; as she spends more time with them, Katy has an aura which makes her a target to other aliens. Paradoxically, Katy must be protected by the twins while also losing the aura before she gets killed.

Note: this review is written after rereading the book

Link to Goodreads // book 1 // Spoilers in review!

First off, I feel like I need to start off by saying if you’ve got a lot of time on your hands/you want to binge-read a whole (semi-light hearted???) series in one go, this is the one for you. The second book in this series starts off a few months from the first book, so if you have an incredibly bad memory, a book marathon is the way to go y’all.

And, like in book 1, we start off with some heavy romance, which, in retrospect, I’d be shook if ANY human in secondary school was able to have such deep emotions towards another person--being a teenager is just a weird part of life and I honestly have no idea how people can honestly get into relationships. ANYWAYS, the classic love triangle commences is introduced, with good ol’ Blake….ahhh what an idiot this boy is. Since this was a reread for me, I only remembered fragments of the series, but I 100% recalled that Blake was just so NOOOO and a goddamn snake.

I actually want to start off with Blake and how much of a traitor he is--like damn, there are so many layers to the story and the fact that it’s all kind of Blake’s fault….big yikes. But then again, I feel like he never got a proper childhood, if that makes sense?? He did suspect that the accident that led him to be mutated by Chris was probably staged, which sucks, but also does not make up for how much pain he’s caused to Katy and anyone that was in the same situation as her. Listen, the fact that he didn’t realize how he was hurting Katy just goes to show how much of a shitty person he is--it’s almost like he can’t think for himself, which is also just so fusterating. LOOK BLAKE, NOT EVERYONE LOVES THE THRILL OF A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE MULTIPLE TIMES. Alas, he was a necessary evil, I guess.

There were times throughout the book where I couldn’t believe that Katy could continue to fall for Blake’s tricks, but then again she fully trusted him--big yikes. I feel like in this case, it was emotion (or better yet her feels) that got in the way of her judgement. Side note: I don’t think anyone who’s read these books could possibly think that Blake and Katy are a better couple than Daemon and Katy. Daemon can be an ass but at least he isn’t trying to hurt people emotionally and physically (and that’s the tea, folks). But anyways, I will say that Blake is super shady, but honestly, I completely forgot that he’s related to Vaughn….oops?? I’m a little surprised that Katy didn’t look up Blake earlier as she saw him as a “potential future prospect”, but then again, she might not have connected the dots--or at least pull the WHY DOES THAT NAME SOUND FAMILIAR and then before you know it, all hell is breaking loose.

But let’s backup...to Katy’s 18th birthday (again, yiiikes….). I have no idea how Katy’s powers were not spotted by human witnesses--especially Lesa and Carissa. How were they kept in the dark (and technically they still are) when Katy was almost always with them?? We’ll never know….well actually, Katy’s just really good at keeping secrets I guess…It was so frustrating how Daemon and Katy were keeping everything away from Dee, but they had her best interests in mind. But man, that led to Katy being a crappy friend to Dee, Lesa, and Carissa…it’s almost like Blake’s personality grew onto Katy (g r o s s). Not to mention with Dee sharing some tmi stuff with Katy--but to be honest, after reading Shadows I can understand why Dee is so thrilled to talk about that with Katy--she never had those types of girl talks with anyone (and I’m sure she doesn’t want to talk about it with Ash lmao).

Those little details -- along with Katy’s blog, the fact that Katy just wants to have fries (relatable lol), it just makes the book so much more “believable” (I guess) as it puts in some normal-type things among all the paranormal activity. I really appreciate those details as they also make the story a little more relatable, if that makes sense??? As a bookworm, I can connect with Katy, but I can also connect with her in the sense where she felt useless during the action-packed scenes. You can definitely feel the frustration and anger when Katy is unable to defend herself under Will’s captivity--I feel like that’s where Blake’s betrayal stung a little (besides him killing Adam)--she trained so much with him, and in the end it’s like she didn’t really learn anything.

For the side characters I wanted to mention: Will, Katy’s mom, and Matthew. Okay, so first, Will, I already had a suspicious feeling about him in Shadows but, again, this particular book is a reread for me, so while I didn’t remember the exact details, he was always super fishy. When I was reading Shadows I remember thinking something along the lines of “Bethany’s uncle is super weird and suspicious”, but for some reason “implant” was not what I was thinking...I thought that Katy was going to tell her mom about her “boyfriend”, but I guess that will have to wait until book 3 (or 4?? I don’t remember oops). It’s so disgusting when he was like “yeah being with your mom had some benefits” WILL YOU’RE A FILTHY MAN. Ugh and then when Katy’s gonna tell her mom, her mom is gonna be like listen honey I know you don’t like him/he’s not your dad...but it’s in reality, Kellie, your “boyfriend” is just using you!! Ahh her poor mom :( Speaking of which, I genuinely thought that Katy’s mom was completely oblivious to the fact that there was always some guy at her house/hanging out with Katy. Alas, Kellie noticed, but damn she thinks Katy is a slut or something (I’m not slut-shaming--you do you boo - I just think it’s messed up that her mom would think that of her daughter). Again, the awkward sex-talk with her mom was sort of like a light reminder that while Katy is mutated, she’s still a human at her core. Finally we have Matthew--which I’m going to be honest, he is the MOST UNDERRATED CHARACTER!! I feel like most people are obsessed with Daemon (which is fair enough) but Matthew is honestly the GOAT. While he doesn’t really have a relationship with Katy like he does with the Luxen kids, he still cares about her. He’s like the old wise man but I guess he isn’t that old (he’s not an Elder, but he’s Luxen….hmmmm….). He genuinely gives Katy some solid advice, even though she technically ignores it. But at the end, when they’re cleaning up Adam’s blood….oh man :( Katy definitely needed to hear those words.

I felt like that particular point - the climax, while it was anticipated that Blake was a bad guy, there are soooo many emotions. We first start off by Katy basically telling Dee to get lost (which may I remind you that Katy was being a crappy friend, so this was just so heartbreaking...gosh darn it, Blake, why do you have to be so manipulative!!). Then we get into this sequence of action--and then the moment that Adam took the “bullet” for Katy...well that would definitely be shot in slow motion...yes it’s cheesy, but damn. Adam--aka the quiet boy who finally became Dee’s boyfriend; Dee, who is Katy’s best friend, yes that Adam...he died for his girlfriend’s best friend. It’s such a powerful thing to do on his behalf, even though it’s messed up in so many ways--and then there are all the layers of Blake’s betrayal...I have no idea of Armentrout planned out the novel, but from that part and onwards, I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster.

So for me, the layers, the details, and the last 100 pages or so are the main reasons why I find that the sequel is better than the first novel in this series. I felt like Armentrout’s writing improved: the romance scenes were way less cheesy than in Obsidian and I felt like there was like fluff -- again, this goes back to the layers that basically make Blake’s betrayal even worse than it would’ve been if it were just between Blake and Katy. The pacing of the book seemed to work with the flow of the story; this allowed the plot to be developed and I felt like the events were adding up pretty naturally.

The ending is so bittersweet--we find out that Dawson is alive, but it was to the cost of Adam’s life...all the main characters, but Dee especially, don’t even have time to process one event before the next one occurs. And of course Dawson’s return is where the story ends; the classic cliffhanger (I did mention earlier that this is the type of series to binge read!).

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this book--is there a particular scene that made your blood boil or did you try to understand the characters’ motives? Overall, did you enjoy the book or was it just okay?? I’d love to know! =D

Thank you for reading my review, I hope you have an opulent day, wherever you are in the world!

~ Cassandra / an-avid-reader

#just one more ~ queue #book review #review #books #lux #jennifer l armentrout #series #paranormal #paranormal romance #lux beginnings #onyx #sequel

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