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#the angry happy cry picture
twistedroseytoesy · 1 year
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You know, it's okay to have multiple writing projects going on. It's what I do to keep my motivation going. If I get stuck, I do a little writing on this other project or two just to keep writing, and when I come back, wham! I get inspiration on where to go next!
So, if you wanna write the Twst x BotW idea to have fun with, then why not? Answering asks is good, too, and your readers know you'll get to it when you can since life can be unpredictable. c: Just have fun with everything you write, and don't be afraid to have little side projects you're working on too, even if it's just brainstorming or a few words written at a time! Your readers will also see and have just as much fun as you are when you allow yourself the freedom to play! 💞
Just some words of encouragement (and enabling) from one fellow writer to another c:
(Twisted-Wonderland-Shenanigans)
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UAAAAAAA! thats so nice of you!! thank you!! I wasnt expecting this at all!! gah my heart is so full, i wanna hug you so close and pepper kisses all over your amazing face (platonically)!
I'm still going to get a few asks done but ill get statted on some LOZ headcanons because ive been enabled.
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inkskinned · 9 months
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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inafieldofdaisies · 1 year
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WIP Wednesday | Tagging @thesingularityseries @socially-awkward-skeleton @direwombat @adelaidedrubman @strafethesesinners @strangefable @nightbloodbix @aceghosts @madparadoxum @g0dspeeed @trench-rot @josephseedismyfather @josephslittledeputy @euryalex @sstewyhosseini @detectivelokis @purplehairsecretlair @jinfromyarikawa @shegetsburned @clicheantagonist @locustandwildhoney @fourlittleseedlings @poisonedtruth @vampireninjabunnies-blog @cassietrn @wrathfulrook @jacobsneed @voidika @harmonyowl @henbased @schoute and anyone with something to share <3
Sharing another snippet from Chapter 10: Calahan and Leslie's first meeting. A rocky start of a bromance. Sprinkling some Mary May x Hartley breadcrumbs in there, too. <3
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Hours after discovering Harker passed out on the side on the road among two other dead Resistance members, Calahan found himself parking his truck in front of the Spread Eagle. Arguably, he had never needed a drink more. Not only had he lost two recruits, no matter how difficult they had proven themselves to be, while the third was still recovering from the Bliss bullet he was hit with, but he had discovered his biggest fear to be true: Sabrina was in the hands of John Seed, just like Hudson. He couldn't come up with any other explanation for what Justin had seen on that road after Charlie's group had ambushed the bastard. The woman sparing a life, the child in the car, every detail he had received from the woozy teen further confirmed his theory about the identity of the woman John had with him. And Savannah. His gaze darkened at the thought of the kid that called him uncle anywhere near that goddamned bunker. "Gray wouldn't allow it. She would fight like hell.", he whispered to himself as he finally exited the Eden's Gate truck he had recommissioned from a capture party recently. "Rest in peace, NOT, fuckers.", he said out loud as he slammed the door shut and turned in the direction of the bar. A couple of minutes later he was sitting in his usual seat inside, nursing a glass of whatever liquor Mary May still had in stock after John Seed had his men confiscate her main stash few days back. Bastard is quickly climbing up my shit list. Calahan didn't care much about what she was serving him as long as it took the edge off, calmed him down after finally getting news on Sabrina and her sister. His eyes fell down on the handmade rainbow bracelet Savannah had gifted him few weeks back, something he hadn't taken off since she had tied it around his wrist with the biggest grin on her freckled face. It was another reminder of what needed protecting, why he fought as hard as he did even before the Reaping's start. Why he argued with Whitehorse so often, why he lashed out at the damned Peggies as a result, why he didn't give a single fuck about protocol when it came to the Project. As he ran his fingers over the white beads that spelled out his actual name, not "Rookie", he told himself this is what Joseph should never get his claws into: the innocents he could so easily poison with his deadly ideas. And yet John had done just that- gotten his hands on Savannah, too. Where are you, Tiny? You better be alright or he will be paying in blood.
"Something's on your mind, Rookie. I can tell.", Mary May stopped in front of him. He let out a dry laugh, "Just the usual bullshit, gorgeous. Don't worry." "You sure?", she eyed the way he was gripping the glass in his hand as he willed his anger to settle down, to retreat, "You seem out of sorts. I've seen that look before, you know, then seconds later you were punching a customer." "He was asking for it." "Didn't say he wasn't. But still… what's up?", Mary May raised an eyebrow and leaned against the bar, her hand coming to rest on top of his. Calahan found himself unable to process the unexpected touch after months of her ever only being annoyed with his flirting. He opened his mouth, wishing all his worry would pour out as easily as she poured his next drink, knowing she was good at listening to people. Her soft blue eyes assured him of it in that moment, hinting that maybe she actually cared for him. Was willing to hear him out. But the words never came, instead the bell above the door chimed, putting an end to the brief moment between them as she returned to her post to greet whoever had entered. Calahan didn't bother turning around, instead he released a tired sigh and took another sip. He reveled in the familiar burn of the alcohol as it slid down his throat, in the promise it would get him closer to feeling numb, even for a short while. "I will be damned.", Mary May exclaimed suddenly. Her tone made him look towards the bar's entrance sharply, his hand immediately reaching for his pistol on instinct in anticipation of trouble. It took him seconds to register the sight in front of him, seconds where he wondered if he was imagining things, if the liquor was hitting him harder than expected. Certainly that was the only explanation for seeing John Fuckface Seed standing in front of him. Before he could think twice, he practically flew from his chair, almost knocking it over as he charged at the bastard. His hand wrapped around his neck before he slammed him into the wall next to the door with all his might.
"Where is SHE?", Calahan screamed, the anger he was struggling to keep under wraps escaping at the unexpected appearance of the man that fucked with him daily. The man that paraded Hudson on his broadcast as a cautionary tale for what's to come. The man that he suspected had Sabrina and an innocent child as prisoners, too. Deep blue eyes stared at him in confusion, betraying his panic. Good. You should be afraid. "I'm-", the bastard tried to croak out, the force of Hartley's hold on his windpipe made it impossible for him to get anything else out. Calahan knew he had to loosen his grip, that he'd get no information from a deadman, but his hate for the Seeds had reached a boiling point with the missed opportunity to save Sabrina still fresh on his mind. "CALAHAN! Stop.", Mary May pulled at his shoulder, trying to bring him back from the edge, at the same time the man grabbed his wrist, twisting his arm behind his back swiftly. "I am not JOHN SEED.", came out as a frustrated shout as he restrained him, the words making Hartley blink in surprise, his face no doubt mirroring Mary May's. "Let go of my arm, bastard, if you don't want me to break yours.", he gritted out and whoever the man was finally released his arm. "Rookie. You okay?", Mary May whispered as she put a hand on his bicep, her gaze a mix of shock and concern. "He attacked me, m'am. And you're asking if he's okay?" M'am? Fuck me. Definitely not John Seed. Calahan turned around, scanning the man that stood in a defensive pose in the doorway from head to toe. The dark hair, beard, blue eyes… he could pass for John's fucking double. "I will be damned.", he parroted Mary May's words from earlier, "Who the fuck are you?" The stranger rubbed his throat before answering, "Detective Leslie Parish. I'm here looking for, well, you." Calahan couldn't help the shocked laugh that escaped him, "Isn't my day just getting better and better?", he returned to his seat and pointed to the chair next to him, "Sit."
Mary May sprung back into action, retreating behind the bar as she addressed what she considered now a potential customer, "Anything to drink, Detective?" "Whiskey. On the rocks, uh-", Leslie responded in a low tone as he sat down and rubbed his face, "Sorry, I didn't catch your name…" "Mary May." She wasted no time pouring him a drink which he downed immediately the second she put it down in front of him. "Thank you." "Now you've officially passed the test. Definitely not John Seed.", Calahan spoke up, making the detective next to him laugh. "Sorry for almost choking the life out of you.", he added and reached a hand to him, "Deputy Calahan Hartley, though most call me Rookie." The man accepted the handshake with a raised eyebrow, "You're new to the Sheriff's?" "No." "Should I call you Rookie, then?" Calahan paused, not many had bothered to ask him that question, not since Sabrina had shown up on her first day months ago. "Calahan or Cal would be nice." Leslie nodded, "Noted." "I gather you're aware you look like a certain someone?", Mary May interjected. "My last few days have been hell. Fuck, the moment I arrived in your beautiful County, I had a shotgun pointed at my face. Lost count how many times I had to explain to people I'm not John Seed, or say I'm not related to him or his brother in any way." "Have to admit, it's kind of a challenge not to punch you in the face, no offense.", Calahan eyed him with curiosity, "Why are you here?" "I planned on visiting someone when all hell broke loose. Haven't managed to find her yet." "Who?" "I thought if anyone would know where she is, it would be you, Deputy.", Leslie took a deep breath, his blue eyes filled with worry as he muttered, "I'm looking for Sabrina Donovan. She used to tell me stories about you anytime we talked over the phone, then people mentioned your name as the one in charge of things out here, and it all clicked. I knew who I had to track down." Well, fuck me, ain't that a plot twist.
"I don't know what to say, aside from that I'm looking for her as well. Have been for days now.", Calahan took out his zippo, flicking it open and closed in attempt to soothe his nerves. "Where is she, Calahan? What happened?" "You might need another drink before I tell you that story." Leslie's eyes narrowed while Mary May poured him a second glass. "What happened?", he repeated in a low tone. "On the first we got called in afterhours by the Sheriff himself, Sabrina included, weren't told much about why until a Federal Marshal walzed in announcing we'd be arresting Joseph Seed. He was so giddy, too giddy." "Sabrina didn't tell me anything about the cult, how serious things were…" "Sounds just like her, too independent for her own good.", Calahan gave him a sad smile, before continuing, "So, we flew over to his compound, entered the fucker's church while he's holding a service in the middle of the night. Like what the hell, right? Sheriff had decided Sabrina would have the honors to slap the cuffs on him. At the last second, she backed away, all frantic, saying something's wrong." "She's never afraid of arrests. I've known her for years. She has chased down all sorts of questionable characters… not once have I seen her flinch.", Leslie's face darkened, but he didn't say anything else, waiting for more. "My thoughts exactly, but this family, Detective… They're different.", Calahan lowered his voice, "The second we walked in John fucking Seed was eyeing her with interest. Got even worse when she hesitated to arrest his brother while the Marshal lost his shit at the delay. I jumped in, cuffing him. We managed to escort him out… but his people refused to let him go, crashed our chopper." "Sabrina… is she dead? Is this what you're trying to tell me?" Hartley shook his head, "Last time I saw her, she was alive. I insisted to get her out, to help with that fucking seatbelt. Joseph's men were all around, took away the others from the chopper. Sabrina demanded I run, promising she'd be right behind." He was close to losing his cool at the memory of that cursed early morning.
Mary May put an ashtray in front of him then, whispering, "I'm making an exception this one time." Calahan gave her a grateful smile, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag of it before adding, "We never reunited, I bumped into the fucking Marshal instead, bastard left me to drown after we tried to make a run for it and a freaking plane sent our truck flying off a bridge." "Fuck." "Yeah. A good samaritan saved me. Dutch. Helped me get back on my feet, offered we start a resistance seeing how the cult has everything on lock down and no help is coming." "Good call, with everything gone to shit." He nodded, "We had a mole, you know. Fucking Nancy. Loyal to the "Father", as Joseph likes to call himself. Didn't get us the reinforcement Whitehorse asked for." "And Sabrina?" "Have been looking for her ever since the goddamned Reaping started. It's what they call this shitshow. "Reaping". Think they're saving our souls, that the world is about to end…" Leslie looked lost in thought as he uttered out, "I saw John's broadcast with the other Deputy." Hartley lit another cigarette, his anger bubbling as he kept reminding himself the man in front of him wasn't John, despite how much he resembled him. "Yeah, he has Joey. Has been calling me daily too, railing me up with her capture, but hasn't said anything about Sabrina." "I went to her house. Cult trucks were parked at the front, no sign of her or her sister, it's why I've been trying to find you, Calahan." "I might have something, but I doubt you'd like it. I sure as hell didn't. Are you sure you're ready?" Leslie downed his drink, "Yes." Mary May winced, "Yeah, maybe avoid saying that word," she gestured to his head, "with that face." "Sorry.", he sent her a knowing smile.
"Earlier today, a trainwreck of a recruit showed up here with his buddies, claiming he has intel on John's next move, was planning to ambush him. I didn't believe it, so I turned down their invite." "Something tells me they were right?" "Sadly. Hour or so later, I get a call from the youngest guy, saying they have him, listing off their location before he went silent. I drove there and found quite the bloody scene." Leslie's hands formed fists on the bar. "Bastard killed two of the three guys, slashed their throats, the one that contacted me got shot with a Bliss bullet, but he's recovering." "Bliss bullet?" "Potent shit. It's a drug the cult makes, knocks you out in seconds, the things they use it for… pure hell, Detective." "How are things this bad?" "They've been preparing. Joseph claims to see the future, you know. Visions from God, he calls them. When we showed up at the church, he said he knew we'd come, that we'd try to take him away, but "God" won't let us." "Fuck, and Rina didn't think to tell me any of this. Assured me it's all fine.", Leslie muttered in frustration. "She does that a lot, doesn't she?" "Who shot Harker with a Bliss bullet?", it was Mary May that spoke up, her voice curious. Calahan took a deep breath, revealing what he had planned on keeping a secret. "Sabrina.", he said quietly, glad the bar was empty. "What the fuck, Rookie?" "She saved the bastard, gorgeous. He has her sister, from what Harker told me." Leslie slammed his hand on the bar, "Savannah. Where are they?", he got up from his chair, but Hartley caught his arm, stopping him from storming out. "Sit down, Les. As much as it pains me to say this, to be the voice of reason… we have to be rational about this."
"I should have come with her.", he said darkly, but followed Calahan's advice. "I've been down that road, too. Thoughts about what I should have done keep me up at night. But if I know one thing about Sabrina… she's resourceful, resilient." "She is.", he smiled. "I don't know for certain where she could be, it kills me to think he dragged Savannah into that bunker.", his fingers touched the bracelet again absently, "But we can't storm it, not with how much manpower and resources he has, not without a solid plan or people we can rely on, especially when we have no eyes inside to be sure she's even there." "Fuck. I- I know you're right, Deputy." "He hasn't mentioned her once, Leslie. Not once in the radio calls to me, she's not in the broadcast, it's like he doesn't want people to know he has her. Anytime I ask about her, he dodges my question." "He's planning something." Mary May looked between the two with a unreadable expression, "You don't think he turned her?" "Fuck no, Mary May. You know Sabrina. I just told you she saved Harker." "Fuck.", she pursed her lips, "Rookie, I know the games John plays, how he breaks people. And after Nancy… what if Sabrina's on his side, too? Maybe has been all along." Calahan shook his head sharply, "She's not turned. She's not a fucking Peggie. I know her." "Fine. For what is worth, you know I trust your judgment.", Mary May crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a stern look. "Peggies?", Leslie seemed lost in thought as he asked that. "Project at Eden's Gate, Peggies for short. It's what locals call Joseph's men." "Noted."
Hartley took a deep breath, putting out his cigarette before he turned to Leslie, "Look, I know there's not much to do right now about Sabrina, not without more information… but seeing how you're here, that you found me, maybe it's all for the best. I sure as hell can use another helping hand against the Project." Leslie's eyes darkened, a look of determination coming over his features, "Your battle is now my battle, too, Calahan." "Good.", Calahan raised his glass for a toast before asking, "You got a gun, Detective?" Leslie nodded, "My service weapon.", he opened his leather jacket, showing off a holstered pistol. "We're gonna get you more serious firepower ASAP.", Calahan pointed to the gun, "You had to use it yet?" "A few times. The "Peggies" are everywhere. Even tried to take over the motel I was staying at. I tried to help people along my way here as much as possible.", he said the nickname with uncertainty. "Learning fast. The only good Peggie is a dead one, Les, because chances are they'd try to take you back to John's bunker or dunk you in the river to cleanse you.", Calahan's voice became lighter, "Hell, now that I'm thinking of it, you have an advantage, if you ask me. They see your face and start to wonder if they're not about to shoot their precious leader, giving you an extra second to strike." Leslie chuckled humorlessly, "What a way to spend my vacation days. I will keep it in mind." "Is Abeline okay?", Mary May questioned, her tone laced with worry. "She was when I left, she's a fighter. Who do you think pulled that shotgun on me? Never have been more confused in my life. She went from wielding a gun to making me coffee." "Good old Abby.", Mary May laughed, "Thank you, Detective. For looking out for our people." Her words made Leslie look away, "Just doing my duty." "We got a shy one on our hands, gorgeous.", Calahan slapped him on the back as he got up and headed for the door, "Come now, there's some people you need to meet." Leslie finished his drink, muttering a quiet "thank you" on his way out. "Leslie." Mary May called out before they could exit, reaching under the bar and pulling out a Spread Eagle branded hat that she threw at him, "Might want to cover your face as much as possible. Spare yourself a "friendly" welcome or two."
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supercutszns · 5 months
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a place with you; luke castellan
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wc: 2.8k (got a little carried away whoops)
pairing: luke castellan x f! reader
synopsis: luke is used to people coming in and out of hermes’ cabin without a second thought. so when you’re having a hard time adjusting to camp life, he doesn’t expect you to stick by his side, even after you’re claimed.
warnings/notes: shy reader going through a tough time, hurt/comfort, pining, kisses, fluff, potential ooc luke i don’t know what i’m doing, most of this is prob inaccurate lol, i got wayyy too attatched to this i am sorry, title inspired by dragon eyes by adrianne lenker
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Luke Castellan is the son of a messenger. He’s used to delivering, passing things along, letting them enter his life and leave him. Sometimes it makes him angry. At his father, at the world, at himself.
So when you passed through the Hermes cabin for the inevitable few weeks before getting claimed by your Godly parent, the last thing Luke expected was for you to stay.
When you first got to camp you were terrified. Luke remembers that much. He can still picture you in Chiron’s towering shadow as he led you up to Hermes cabin. He gave you the usual spiel about the cabin, the land of the unclaimed, but it clearly hadn’t quelled your nerves. You were wringing your fingers together when Luke first spotted you, your eyes blown wide in what he knew as shock and a sort of . . . grief. For a life you’d left for what Luke knows as a life you’d never really have. He’d seen it in so many campers before you. He’d see it many times after.
“This is Luke, Hermes’ head counsellor and one of Camp Half-Blood’s finest,” Chiron pointed him out to you at the entrance. After Chiron introduced you, Luke held your name in his memory. Not because there was anything particularly intriguing about you at first, to be honest, because he’d seen a lot of people like you that needed help settling in (although maybe not many his age). It was harder for some people to adjust than most. He knew that better than anyone.
“Nice to meet you,” he stuck out his hand for you to shake after Chiron left. “I’m Luke.”
You sniffed, shaking it without looking at him. You were so, so embarrassed. This whole time you’d been too stupidly overwhelmed to process anything. Why was this so hard for you? Was it this hard for everyone? “Hi,” you managed, and that was it.
Now, weeks after your first meeting, you’ve concluded that it was not, in fact, this hard for everyone. The camp is crowded but full of life. You’ve never seen more happy kids in your life. There’s a sense of community on the wind.
So why can’t you feel it? Why is it so hard to connect with people? To participate in the fun? Everywhere you look there’s people but it’s all just so . . . lonely. You don’t fit. You’re lost.
Luke wakes up at night when the cabin door creaks open. He’s already tossing, so it’s no surprise he catches it. Unfortunately, he’s supposed to be a good counsellor—sneaking out at night is against the rules, and you’ve gotta reign the strays back in before they cause a ruckus. Sure, Luke’s not exactly a stickler for the law, but the least he owes is to make sure everyone’s safe.
Groaning, he draws himself out of the comfort of his bunk but doesn’t get far when he spots a familiar silhouette slipping out the door. He knows it’s you. He’s been hearing crying at night, and this is confirming his suspicions. It makes him ache in a million different places. Every time he thought about approaching you he shut himself down almost instantly, because who the hell wants some random guy coming up to them in the middle of the night and drawing attention?
This time, though, he’s a little worried.
It’s chilly tonight but not too bad, especially when you’re huddled up in a ball on a hill in front of the lake, grass tickling your ankles. Your tears keep you warm.
It’s a sorrow that feels bottomless. You don’t know what’s gotten into you. You don’t know why everything’s so hard.
There’s a scuffling of shoes, and your name is carried to you on the heels of a breeze. Oh God. There’s someone else here.
You sniff and smear your tears on the palms of your hands the best you can but a little part of you only wants to cry more now that you’re all anxious, and you only have a few seconds to collect yourself before you turn around and see Luke, your cabin leader, with furrowed brows. “Oh, h-hi, Luke.” It’s hard to ignore the splinter in your voice. You curse yourself a thousand times.
“Hey,” he says hesitantly, eyeing you in a way that makes you feel entirely exposed. “You, uh, you know you’re not technically supposed to be out here, right?”
You start to scramble to your feet with an apology on your tongue but surprisingly he laughs, a gentle sound, and beckons you to sit back down. “No, no, I’m not gonna get you in trouble or anything, just . . . letting you know.”
It’s uncertain if you should keep sitting, but you decide to because well, you’re already down here, and things can’t go lower than this. Luke comes to sit next to you and you stare out into the sea like your life depends on it. “Wanna talk about why you’re out here?”
“Wh-what do you mean?”
“I mean,” Luke sighs, scooting a little closer to you. “Most people don’t up and leave in the middle of the night because they’re having a great time.”
The answer is too hard to say so you don’t reply.
Again, Luke sighs, and you try not to look at the shadow the moon casts on his admittedly handsome face. “It’s hard settling in, I know. It happens to a lot of people. I’ve . . . I’ve seen a lot of them, and it doesn’t get any easier.”
“Well it sure seems easier,” you snap, and your self-control flies away before you can stop it. “I have no idea why I can’t just suck it up and fit in here. Everyone seems so happy and it’s driving me nuts because I’m just so confused on why I can’t—why I can’t—process any of it.” Tears burn your eyes. “I’m just miserable. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
In the corner of your view, Luke’s face falls. “I’m your guide, you know that, right? I can help you.”
You sniff, embarrassingly pathetic. “I know.”
He comes even closer. “So why didn’t you ask?”
“Because I—I don’t know, you’re busy all the time with all the people in there, so I’m sure your job’s already stressful as is, so—”
“My job is to help you,” he says, a hand on your shoulder. “That’s what I signed up for. If you need something, I’m the one to ask.”
“I’m not sure you signed up for me crying like a baby,” you swallow, the ripples of the lake blurring together. “I mean, I’m like, older than half the kids here, and they’re all so much better than me. I’m not good at a—anything, and I’ve tried it all, and nobody’s claimed me yet, and I feel so weird and old and alone and . . .” It’s too much to think about so you dig the heels of your palms into your eyes, hoping the sting wards off the thoughts. “What if I’m nothing? Why am I here?”
You’re crying again, hiccuping into your hands. Shame sears into you. Luke’s arm curls around your shoulders and you realize how cold you are when he’s warm, so warm, and you want to cry even harder. You don’t even know him, but it’s the most tenderness you’ve received in what feels like years. “Hey, deep breaths,” he murmurs, rubbing your arm with his other hand. “It’s okay. Look at me.”
It takes a ridiculous amount of strength to heed him. His hand catches your cheek and you can’t bear to pull away. Something strange rustles in your stomach.
Luke’s taught instinct when faced with situations like these is to reassure that the Gods always have a plan. But he doesn’t feel like much of a liar tonight. Both his hands steady your face towards his, your skin damp and cold beneath his thumb. “It's not your fault. It always takes a little bit of time for people to get claimed, it’s never . . . well, you can never tell.”
“What if I don’t get claimed?” You say it so quiet you can pretend it was imaginary.
His eyes crinkle at the sides when he says, “Well, Hermes’ll always have a place for you.”
I’ll, Luke wants to say, I’ll. His father is not responsible for his cabin’s kindness.
“No one really prepares you for how overwhelming this is,” he continues, thumb rubbing the apple of your cheek. Your vision is clearer now, and Gods, he is handsome, isn’t he? Even when his eyes are forlorn. “It’s harder in a way when you’re older. More to leave behind. Less to look forward to. It’s easier when you have a friend. Or a great cabin head.” He tilts his head with a faint smile, “Lucky for you, I’m both.”
It almost makes you laugh, and that’s enough. “It’ll get easier,” he promises softly. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
Your cheeks burn. It’s hard to keep his gaze, so you blot at your eyes with your hands as Luke gently slides his off your face. “Thank you. Sorry for, um, all that. And the crying.”
He chuckles, “Don’t even worry about it.” You watch him rise in the throes of starlight. He offers you a hand. “Aren’t you cold?” He asks after pulling you up, and you sheepishly nod your head. He tosses you a sweater he’s been wearing, and it smells like firewood. Nostalgic, in a way. “I’m gonna poke around for some tea. Wait for me back at the cabin.”
Before he leaves, he squeezes your arm and that thing happens again in your stomach. “No need to be embarrassed, by the way. You can come to me anytime. I’m probably less busy than I look.” As he walked away, he added, “And don’t worry about the crying. You’re pretty either way.”
Either way. The tea doesn’t seem important anymore because your face is on fire.
Time reveals that Luke is right. He is a great cabin leader and a friend, and it’s hard to tell which he’s better at. You fall in with him right away. Soon enough, you’re drawn into your new life, so slowly you barely realize it’s happening. The days get shorter and you start wishing they were longer. The nights get easier. And when they’re not, Luke tucks you into his bunk and folds you in his arms until you drift off. You pick up a bow. A sword. Luke tells you to straighten your shoulders with a hand on the small of your back, and you swear it always lingers. You braid garlands of carnations for your cabin mates and they wear them with pride. It’s warm, your cheeks hurt from smiling, and things start to feel like home.
Until you’re claimed.
Now you’re a ghost in Hermes cabin, another empty bunk to be filled, and Luke stares at it until he can remember every last detail of what it looked like when it was yours. A beautiful, gentle daughter of Demeter, no longer in arms’ reach. He should’ve seen it coming.
He sees you with your siblings all the time. You’re so happy and he envies it. You belong there, he knows that, the way your face lights up at the dinner table and how you giggle when your half-sister presents you a flower. But sometimes your eyes wander, and something inside them dulls, until you look at him, too.
Luke’s place at camp is to be nothing but a funnel for lost campers to find their home. He’s a temporary stop in everybody’s journey. He’d made peace with it a long time ago. But here you are, messing it all up, because you still don’t leave him.
You beg him to give you another sword-fighting lesson. You sit next to him at bonfires. You pick him for partner camp activities. It doesn’t matter how many younger boys want to latch onto him for guidance—he sees you heading towards him, and he can’t imagine choosing anyone else.
But you’re always whisked away by your siblings, separated at meals and in sleep and in activities so it’s never, ever enough. Why did he delude himself into thinking you’d stay forever?
After weeks of distance from you, he’s elated when you have even a fraction of a conversation. “Hey, Luke!” You call out to him, and he finds you instantly. You’ve broken away from your siblings to get to him.
“Hey,” he smiles, and hopes he doesn’t look too pleased.
You lean a little towards his ear, and you smell like every wonderful thing in the world. “Can we hang out tonight? On the hill?” You’re a little bashful when you say it and it’s entirely endearing. Even now, you’re still so unsure. “I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” he says almost instantly, and it makes you look less nervous. “Yes. Absolutely. But don’t get caught breaking curfew now, you hooligan.”
Someone calls your name and you give a curt, playful nod. “Yes sir, camp counsellor sir!” He carries your laugh close to his heart until night falls.
You’re already there when he arrives, a vision in the moonlight before he even sees your face. “Hey, angel.”
When you turn around you look flustered. He won’t pretend like it doesn’t flatter him. “H—hi, uh, hello.”
There’s a moment where the world is still. The two of you, alone, for the first time in ages.
He sits down next to you, and it’s like the first time all over again. You get to talking, about your days, your anecdotes, your cabins. The strangeness of it all. “It’s so weird waking up in the morning and not having you yapping in my ear,” you remark, and he teasingly pushes your shoulder.
“Well, one of us has to be the talker, and it’s clearly not you,” he retorts.
You fiddle with blades of grass between your fingertips, weaving them together. “I’ll have you know I had a cabin-wide conversation about Capture The Flag yesterday, and I contributed greatly.”
“Oh, really?” He grins, knocking your elbow to steal your attention. “Look at you, coming out of your shell. I’m so proud.”
It’s hard to hold his gaze for more than a second. You’re afraid you’ll do something stupid if he keeps looking at you like that, but you almost want to. “Oh, shut up.”
He puts a hand on your shoulder. “No, I’m serious. I’m proud.” His eyes rake over your face. “You’re flourishing. You found your place.”
You can’t stop yourself from saying, “I kind of miss my old one.”
There’s a way he studies your expression that makes you feel utterly helpless. You wish you could dish it back to him, but you know you just look awestruck whenever you stare at him for so long. He’s quieter when he replies, “I miss it, too. A lot. Sometimes, I—” His face scrunches up like he just tasted something sour. “Nevermind.”
Frowning, you prod, “What? What is it?”
He sighs and turns to the horizon. This is the first time you’ve ever seen him struggle. “Sometimes, I wish you hadn’t been claimed. Sorry, that’s . . . that’s awful, I know.”
His surprise is evident when you say, “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t either.”
He turns back to you. “Really?”
“Really,” you nod, staring at the beads on his necklace. “You’re the only reason I’ve adjusted here at all.”
“Don’t sell yourself short.”
“It’s true. And I miss you.” A few months ago you would’ve kicked yourself for saying this. But Luke has a way of inspiring confidence in people.
“I miss you, too. So much.” He gently prys the grass you’ve been weaving out of your hands, now a small necklace. “But look at how talented you are. I’ll tell you, I’m lucky you’re still sticking around. For most people, Hermes is touch-and-go.”
Luke leans forward to tie the garland around your neck, and your pulse picks up. “This isn’t about Hermes, Luke,” you try to be firm but it comes out soft. “It’s about you.”
His hands stop fiddling and rest on your neck. When he speaks, you can feel his breath on you. And you have no idea that he’s been waiting to hear that his whole life. “What’s about me?”
It’s not fair, your inability to string sentences together only worsens right when a beautiful boy is this close to you. “Hermes isn’t—it’s not special because of your father, it’s special because of you.”
There is nothing else you can possibly think of saying with the way his fingers trace up your neck and hold your jaw. “Yeah, well,” he murmurs, “The only reason anything in my life is special is because of you.”
You don’t know if it’s a lie or not; you don’t care. His nose nudges yours. There’s a moment where you wonder if this is as close to Elysium you’ll ever get. Then he slips a hand to the back of your neck and pulls you to his mouth.
He kisses you in a near fury, then when he knows you’re not going anywhere, it’s the gentlest thing you know. It’s hard to believe this is even happening. Your hands weave through his curls but he holds you steady, and thank the Gods for that because you’re pretty sure you’re melting. You kiss again, and again, and again, until you genuinely think you’re going to pass out and you have to pull away.
“Aw, look at you,” he murmurs when you can’t meet his eyes, a playful lilt in his voice. “Still so nervous.”
“Would you shut up?” You press your face into the crook of his neck with a huge smile.
He kisses the top of your head. “Love to, angel.”
Luke Castellan is the son of a messenger. He’s supposed to believe he’s bringing the best of humanity to the Gods and glory above.
But screw the Gods. He’s keeping this one for himself.
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sensitivegoblin · 1 year
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Vent tw: suicidal thoughts
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se4son-of-the-witch · 4 months
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the only exception - matt sturniolo
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in which matt shows the reader what love should look like
matt x fem reader !
┊ ✫ ┊ ┊ ☾⋆ ┊ ⊹ ┊ ✯ ⋆ ┊
The sound of my mother’s screams ricocheted off the walls as I lay in bed. This was a sound I was all too familiar with, as it happened almost every night. My dad would do or say something to upset my mom, which resulted in a big argument.
However, tonight was worse than it had ever been. The sound of my parents' bedroom door slamming made me shoot up from my bed. Loud steps could be heard going down the stairs. I could hear cries in the hallway, making me get out of bed.
My mom stood at the top of the stairs, mascara running down her face. My heart broke as I heard her sobs. She always held herself together, putting on a tough front for her kids, but tonight she just couldn’t.
Instinctively, I made my way over to her, making her immediately wipe her tears. She wrapped her arm around me, pulling me into her side. She sniffled loudly, occasionally letting out a soft cry.
My dad on the other hand packed a bag and made his way down the road. He was too angry to be at home and needed to get away. He had done this before, so it wasn’t shocking. He was never gone for long, and would usually come back the next day. But this was the final straw.
It had been a whole week and he still didn’t come home. I then learned that my parents had split up that night. Ever since then, I could finally sleep at night, with no interruptions from either of them.
┊ ✫ ┊ ┊ ☾⋆ ┊ ⊹ ┊ ✯ ⋆ ┊
I stared off at the wall as my older sister leaned on my shoulder, letting out gut-wrenching sobs. Her boyfriend of two years had cheated on her, which obviously made her upset.
My hand rested on her back, rubbing soothing circles on her skin. Her tears rapidly fell on my shirt, creating a wet patch, but I didn’t mind. She needed a shoulder to cry on, so of course I was there for her.
In my mind, I couldn’t help but wonder what led to this. They had seemed like the perfect couple. He was always at the house, cuddled up on the couch with her. The picture of her waltzing around the house, waiting for him to pick her up for their date entered my mind.
But there she sat, crying her eyes out over him. Letting tears fall from her eyes and snot drip from her nose as she let it all out.
From that point on, I didn’t allow myself to get into a relationship. I pushed away any feelings I developed for anyone if I even allowed myself to develop those feelings. And I was quite content with that, as other things in life brought me happiness.
I stuck to this philosophy for years, until something changed. During my senior year, I met a guy. His name was Matt. We sat beside each other in history class, which we both found boring. However, we quickly became good friends, which made history class something to look forward to.
As the school year progressed, I found myself developing feelings for him. I tried my absolute best to push them away, but as soon as he flashed me a smile, they all came rushing back.
Soon, prom season came around. All of my friends were excited. They couldn’t wait to dress up, go out to eat, and slow dance with their date. But on the other hand, I couldn’t care less. I thought prom was a waste of time, especially if you went with a date.
However, Matt convinced me to go to prom with him. And safe to say, it was the most fun I have had in a long time. We danced all night, occasionally sneaking off to steal food from the snack table or take pictures in the photo booth.
A few months later, I came to a terrifying realization. I liked Matt. A scary amount. Due to these feelings, I began to distance myself. I would decline hangouts or leave him on read for a few days.
Eventually, this caught up with me. One day he came to my house, quite aggravated. I remember it as clear as day.
I quickly jogged down the stairs, making my way to the front door. I pulled it open, revealing Matt. He wore a slightly aggravated expression, making me knit my brows. “Matt, what are you doing here?”
“What do you mean? You haven’t answered me in three days and you wonder why I’m here?” He pushes past me, leaving me dumbfounded. I close the door and follow him into my living room.
He’s sitting on the couch, leaning forward. I sit on the other end of the couch, keeping a good distance between us. “You can’t even sit near me. Seriously, what’s going on with you?” He looks over at me with a hurt expression, making me feel awful.
“I’m scared,” my voice breaks as I speak.
“Why?”
I look away from him, turning my attention towards my lap. “Because I like you so much it scares me.” I felt a hand on my thigh, causing me to look over to him.
“You shouldn’t be afraid because I like you too. It’s been killing me that you’ve been ignoring me, y/n.” As his words sunk in, my heart couldn’t help but pound. To hear those words took a huge weight off my shoulders.
A few weeks later, Matt asked me out on a date. To say I was excited was an understatement, but I still had my worries. What if it all went wrong? What if I never spoke to him again after tonight? Those thoughts ran through my mind as I got ready.
As our date came to an end, I couldn’t help but smile. I had the best time tonight. Matt picked me up and took me to my favorite restaurant. He paid and even ordered me a dessert.
Now here we were, back at his car. I was sitting in the passenger seat, staring out the window when I felt a hand on my leg. I turned to look at Matt, a blush creeping onto my cheeks.
“I had a great time tonight.” His hand moved up my leg, resting on my thigh. As he began to caress the skin, I couldn’t help but ease into his touch.
I gazed into his eyes, allowing myself to get lost in them. “Me too.” My eyes flickered down to his lips, making him smirk.
Before I knew it, he was leaning in. He placed his lips on mine, his hand gripping my thigh. My hand found his jaw, my lips moving on his. As we kissed, I couldn’t help but smile.
He pulled away, a big grin on his face. “Be my girlfriend,” he blurted. My eyes widened at his words. “Please,” he breathed out.
I thought for a moment, my mind racing. “Of course, I’ll be your girlfriend, Matt.”
┊ ✫ ┊ ┊ ☾⋆ ┊ ⊹ ┊ ✯ ⋆ ┊
That night changed my life for the better. It’s exactly why I’m in the position I am now.
My eyes slowly fluttered open as the sun peaked in through the curtain. I stirred around in bed before slowly sitting up. My movements were constrained as I felt Matt’s tight grip around me. His arm was wrapped around my waist, keeping me close to him.
I couldn’t help but smile as I looked down at him. He was peacefully sleeping, his mouth slightly open, allowing soft snores to escape. I leaned down, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
He stirred beneath me, his eyes slowly opening. A yawn left his lips as he rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself up. “Good morning, baby,” he said as he pulled me into his side.
“Good morning, babe.” He placed a kiss on my forehead, making me smile. I watched as he sat up, pulling the covers off of his body.
“I’m gonna make us some breakfast. Pancakes sound good?” I gave him a nod. I watched as he left the room, a smile on my face.
Simple things like that remind me how lucky I am to have Matt. Had I let my fears get the best of me, I would have missed out on love others spend their whole life searching for.
┊ ✫ ┊ ┊ ☾⋆ ┊ ⊹ ┊ ✯ ⋆ ┊
a/n: shoutout to all the girlies with divorced parents and a fear of intimacy…😭 ily
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alwaysshallow · 4 months
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Okay but imagine this Somehow ghost is at higher!ranked readers house It's just him , her And her baby (No Cheating husband around) And it starts to rain outside with thunder the baby Starts to cry and everything
And fucking simon Is just holding the baby like if it was his And of course he calms the baby down
And higher!ranked reader is just looking at him just with loving eyes.. ( And maybe they can have their first actual kiss there😗.... just a maybe...)
Btw I absolutely love your writing!
-🦷
You don't hear it first.
Tired, right in your apartment, taking a nap while Ghost works over some documents that you were supposed to work over with him—he's kind enough not to wake you since he knows how much you have to hold.
Maybe that's why he picks up the baby the moment she cries, cooing. Such a large, violent man, with war in his head, haunted by ghosts of the past, has your baby in his arms, being the softest he can. Whispering soothing words on her anxious little mind, overwhelmed by the storm that's happening outside.
It's the lightning that wakes you. Not the angry baby, nor the Simon that does his best to put the baby back to sleep.
For a moment, you're scared. Unable to find a baby, anxious, when you leave your bedroom in a hurry, just to see the idyllic picture of your baby girl and Simon.
"I've got it, mama," he murmurs. Low, not to wake up the baby that's already closing her eyes. You know it's the span of seconds and she’s gonna be in her happy place again. 
“You can give her to me. It’s not your duty—”
“—but somethin’ I want to do,” he cuts you off, shaking his head. “She woke up, and I was near, so… not a big deal.”
It is a big deal. At least, a big deal for you—you can’t really remember when your husband decided to do this for his own baby. It was always a problem; he’s tired, exhausted, he’s done it before. Excuses, nothing else, but excuses.
And here is Simon Riley.
Despite your thoughts, you smile a little. “Right. Got those fatherly instincts?” You raise your eyebrow, teasingly. He huffs, but before he says something, you place a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”
The minute he frowns, you think you overcrossed a boundary. You're quick to open your mouth to blabber something about being sorry, but you don't get to say it.
Because his lips are on yours the second after.
It's not a heated kiss, like you would expect it. It's a slow one, full of emotions, just like he is. Longing, deep one, can be felt through his movements, as he'd want to remember the shape of your lips.
"'m gonna put her down," he starts, his voice a mere whisper, "then we'll talk. A'right?"
You just nod in response.
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reiderwriter · 21 days
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Puppet On A String
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Chapter One of I Can't Help Myself
Synopsis: Expecting your big promotion any day, you're none too happy to hear about the departments miraculous new hire. You're even less happy when he moves into your office and starts touching things.
Warnings: Shitty office politics, brief allusions to Spencer's time in prison, swearing, reader is understandably bitter.
Masterlist || 5k Celebration Challenge
The day your professional aspirations came to a crashing halt was also the day that you met Doctor Spencer Reid. To say that your view of him was somewhat soured by the unpleasant circumstances of your morning meeting was an understatement and a half.
Sitting in your bosses stuffy work office, you felt your heart stop as the situation was explained.
“You understand, right, Y/N? We really value your work here, so we're really relying on you to help him settle in.” He grinned at you from behind his desk, but all friendliness in the gesture was dampened by the fact that he hadn't even bothered to look up from the papers he was looking through, glasses hanging low on his nose.
“I'm trying to understand, I am. But last week, we discussed me moving onto the tenure track. Are you saying that's out of the picture for me now?”
The smile turned into a grimace as he looked up at you, finally. He removed his glasses and folded them in front of him as you squirmed in your seat. You needed to advocate for yourself, but it wasn't easy when it felt like you were in the principals office being reprimanded.
“Doctor Spencer Reid will be joining us on loan from the FBI. Someone at the Bureau called in a favour with one of the college executives. The decision is above my pay grade - thus it is above yours.”
Your cheeks felt hot as he reprimanded you, and you bit your tongue as best you could.
“He will be with us for the semester, and then we can discuss your promotion again next semester. I will ask again, you understand the situation?”
You nodded, understanding the unspoken - the department wide email introducing your new member of staff and the generous donation from the FBI that came with him. You brought nothing to the department other than a stellar academic record and hard work.
“I'm glad we could both come to an understanding,” he said, aptly dismissing you as you stood to take your leave.
“Ah, one last thing, Y/N,” he said, stopping you in your tracks as you readied yourself to run to the nearest bathroom stall and cry until your first class - roughly 7 and a half minutes.
“Doctor Reid will be sharing your temporary office space. We're strapped for space, and there weren't any other facilities available at the last minute. Since your students always remark on how approachable and welcoming you are, you're the best person to show him around, too.”
The gloom in your heart hardened to anger as the man dismissed you, returning his glasses to his head and not bothering to make eye contact as he added more work to your already heavy load.
“Of course. Thank you.”
You closed the door behind you, willing yourself to not slam it, and stalked down the corridor to your own - now communal - office.
Half of your brain was screaming at you to quit, but with rent in a college town to pay, and the academic year already in session, there was no way you were finding something this lucrative again.
You'd worked your ass off for the last five months. You just had to survive three more with Doctor Spencer Reid.
You had to keep your emotions in control until at least your office, you thought, even as the inescapable tears threatened to fall down your face. You hate that you cried when you were angry, that your emotions couldn't even sort themselves out enough to give appropriate physical responses, but at least you could angry-cry in peace before your new coworker showed up.
You ripped open the door and stomped to your desk, slamming the door shut behind you as you fell down with your head in your hands and let out a frustrated groan.
“Um… hello, can I help you?”
The voice caught you so off guard, you almost jumped from your seat in shock, backing up to the single window in the office.
“Fuck, you scared the hell out of me. What- who are you?” You asked the man you now saw sitting at the sofa opposite your desk, next the door. So close in fact, that you didn't see him walking in.
He was sat down, but you could tell he was tall, slightly older than you, but with big brown eyes that betrayed some experience. He sat comfortably at first, legs crossed, book in hand, but as you spoke, he sat straighter, stiffer, his relaxed expression becoming somewhat colder.
“I'm Doctor Spencer Reid. I was told this is my office from today onwards? If I'm incorrect, I can leave you to your…”
Of course, the very attractive, soft-spoken man in front of you just happened to be the derailment of your career. Temporary, you reminded yourself. Temporary derailment.
“No. Doctor Reid, of course. Hello. I'm Y/N. We'll be sharing the office for the semester, I just didn't know you'd be here today.”
He frowned slightly, like sharing the space was as uncomfortable with him as it was with you.
“If you can excuse me, I have a class to teach in…” You looked to the shelves where your small clock had fallen over once again - the office was cramped and the shelves unstable enough that closing the door meant knocking at least three things over.
“Three minutes, shit. I have to leave, please keep to yourself, I have a lot of important documents in here.”
The words were colder than you would've liked, but you couldn't find the strength to care much about his opinion of you.
You grabbed your laptop and left the room swiftly, abandoning Spencer Reid to your shared office.
Your first meeting may have been sour due to circumstance, but your second was unpleasant on the strength of Spencer Reid's grating personality alone.
In your five months at the college, you'd worked up a system for classwork.
Gather books. Go to class. Pick up coffee. Teach. Leave class. Pick up a second coffee. Go to your office. Host office hours. Work on a research paper. Rinse and repeat for any other classes you had that day.
With such a busy and caffeine fuelled schedule, you kept your office as neat as you could with your rickety shelves.
So, returning to meet Spencer Reid a second time, you almost threw up at the sight that befell you in the office.
“Hey, welcome back.”
The man sat on the one inch of your floor that wasn't taken up by furniture with all of the books in the office stacked up around him, the shelves bare and tipping precariously to one side.
“What the hell did you do to my office?” You blanched, looking around, unable to see the set of books you had organized for your next class.
“The shelves are broken, I put in a request to have them replaced, and I've been organizing the books by topic so-”
“The books were already organized. By class, and week they're to be taught. Fuck, I have a seminar in 30 minutes, I need those books.”
To his credit, Spencer Reid looked panicked as he sat sifting through all the books, even as your anger rolled off of you in waves.
“I can fix this. What shelf was it on?”
“Don't bother, just ruin my day some more. Hey, how about next time, you just throw everything in the trash?”
“I was trying to help, we're going to be sharing the office, and there isn't exactly space for two desks with your current filing system.”
“So you decided to rearrange without telling me? Asking me? I've been here five months, but you strolled in five hours ago and decided to change everything to suit you.”
“That's not - look, I'm sorry.”
“Yeah, well, you can start your apology by footing the bill for whatever improvements you've made. We're not tenured professors. Anything we add to the room or request comes out of our paycheck, and I'm not starving myself for floor to ceiling bookshelves.”
Whatever retort he was about to make was lost as you grabbed your bag from the floor and stormed out, leaving him behind in your dilapidated office.
When you returned to your office later that day, he was nowhere to be found. His new furniture, however, was crowding the room. A clone of your own desk was pushed up against the side of it, the pair forming an L shape. Great. Couldn't have gotten any closer if you tried.
Your couch was still in place by the door, but the old bookshelves were gone. They were replaced by a sturdier looking wooden set that now shelved all the books you'd inherited in the office or were using for class. And some new titles.
He hadn't put them back in the order you needed them in, though you doubted he ever would, but instead had them grouped by topic and within groupings in alphabetical order.
“How very precise,” you said, running your fingers along the book spines as you made your way to your desk.
“Whoops,” you said, pulling out a book you knew wasn't yours and letting it fall to the floor.
Was it petty? Sure. Was it therapeutic?Abso-fucking-lutely.
“Nice. Mature,” a voice said behind you, and for the second time in 12 hours, you jumped at the sound of Spencer Reid's voice.
“Jesus Christ, you need to stop doing that.”
“Doing what, walking into my own office?” He said, leaning against the new bookshelves.
“Our office. Shared. For three months.”
“Oh so you do remember we have to coexist?” He asked, grinning down at you. When did he get so close that he had to look down at you?
“Trust me, your presence is…felt,” you said, gesturing around the cramped space.
“What classes are you teaching?” You sighed, pushing past him to the open door and sitting down at the sofa.
“Profiling and the Criminal Psyche and I'm guest lecturing in Criminology 101. I have a few special lectures on geographical profiles in the next month.”
“And office hours?”
“What?”
“Your office hours, you're going to need to post them soon. Mine are Mondays and Thursdays at 11am, you'll need to be out of the office then so I can consult with the students about any absences or grades. If you haven't decided on your hours yet, my schedule is taped in the first draw of my desk.”
You grabbed your jacket from the hook on the door and pulled it over you like a blanket, laying yourself down on the sofa.
“Why would I need your-”
“Do us both a favour and schedule your hours during my contracted teaching time. It'll be easier.”
“Then why don't you schedule yourself during mine?”
You scoffed as you pulled a couch cushion up to rest your head on, closing your eyes as you drowned him out.
“Gee, you're some kind of genius. Can't you figure that one out yourself?”
You heard his sight of frustration but plugged in your headphones anyway, enjoying your 20-minute power nap as you stubbornly refused to face the day's stress.
A week later, you were deep into a College Cold War.
Spencer had attempted what you'd thought was a truce on his second day, arranging the pile of books you needed for that week's seminars on his desk happily.
Until you went to grab the top of the stack, and his hand held yours down on top of it.
“Sorry, that's for my class,” he said, glancing up at you. He smiled as he noticed the irritation in your eyes as you ground your teeth together.
“I'm teaching a class today based on this text. It was an assigned reading-”
“What a coincidence. It's an assigned reading in my class as well. For all 46 students. You better run over to the library, Y/N.”
You dragged your hand out from under his, brushing off the heat that ran up your arm from his hand as disgust rather than attraction.
His existence was irritating, but his face and body were more distracting than anything.
Storming off, you knew you had to one up him somehow, but you wanted to put some thought into it before doing something impulsive. Your first thought had been slashing his tires, so some perspective was definitely needed.
A week passed, and you found yourself having to endure the man's company on a Friday night for a departmental welcome meal. You'd assumed a week ago when it was scheduled into your outlook calendar that it would be to celebrate your promotion, and now the egg was most definitely on your face.
You'd debated not even turning up, but a warning email had let you know that attendance was compulsory, and the dress code was semi-formal.
So, you begrudgingly forced yourself into the little black dress you'd purchased a lifetime ago for your first graduation and got yourself a taxi over to whatever ridiculously expensive restaurant you have to fast at this time.
“Y/N, you’re here. We weren't sure you'd show up, after… you know!” One of the older professors said as you walked in, pressing an air kiss to either cheek as she handed you a champagne flute.
“Well, attendance was compulsory, so here I am!” You wanted to wipe the pompous smile off the woman's face so badly, but unfortunately, she was a member of the hiring committee. Three more months of sucking up to her was in your future, courtesy of a shitty move by the FBI.
“You say that, but our guest of honor isn't even here yet. Typical, right?”
You downed the drink she gave you and excused yourself to take your seat at the dinner table, needing a place to rest your glass to save yourself from cracking it in your furious grip.
It took another hour for Spencer Reid to show his face, and to your glee, he looked genuinely uncomfortable at the prospect of the night ahead.
“Sorry, I was unpacking some stuff at my apartment.”
“Oh, did you move recently?” A curious voice trailed up the table to ask him as he awkwardly side stepped to his seat. Right beside you, obviously.
“No, just… I had some stuff packed up.”
He held his tongue, not revealing more as the table fell in an awkward silence.
You dragged another glass to your lips and sat back in your chair, doing your best to stay unaddressed as the appetizers finally came out.
“Does the department have dinners often?” Spencer whispered, his hot breath fanning against your neck as he leaned closer to you.
The hot feeling washed over you again as you turned towards him, immediately pulling back and putting some distance between the two of you.
“No. Usually, it is only when welcoming guest lecturers or when someone gains tenure.”
“So who got tenure?”
You scoffed. “Funny. Thanks, Spencer.”
“What?”
You looked back at him again, and his brow furrowed in confusion.
“This meal is to introduce you. Everyone else here has tenure.”
“You don't.”
“Yes, well, there wasn't exactly room in the budget for the hotshot FBI profiler and a steady income for another Professor.” You slammed your glass down again and picked up your bag and things, hoping the table hadn't heard your conversation.
“Please excuse me.” You said smiling at the rest of the table. Some of the women sent you sympathetic glances, but the department dinosaurs simply continued their conversations. You'd think a department of psychologists would be able to figure out they were all absolute narcissists.
You carefully exited the group and took yourself outside for some much needed air.
“Y/N.” He shouted from behind you again, and you had to be honest, you were sick of him following and sneaking up on you.
“God, what now, Spencer? Go back inside and get celebrated or whatever. They probably can't start the self-congratulatory circle jerk without you anyway.”
“I came to apologize. Again. But you don't seem to be able to handle the words ‘I'm sorry,’ at all, do you?”
He looked exasperated, but however he was feeling, you felt worse.
“Look, Spencer. I probably have nothing against you personally. But I've just been conned into another three months of probationary minimum wage because your boss at the Bureau decided he wanted rid of you for a month or two. Some of us didn't get child genius scholarships for multiple PhDs and aren't receiving two paychecks right now.”
“If money is an issue, Y/N, you know I could-”
“No. No, stop butting into my personal problems. We can be civil, but we're not… we're not friends, Spencer.”
You stepped back and let out another sigh as you forced the words to stand between you.
“Okay. I'll stay out of your way.”
“Great. Looking forward to it.”
“Sure. Me too.”
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unluckilyimnot · 16 days
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hiîi, can you write bllk chara tera introducing their gf to the press or the press somehow finding you that the players have a gf
idk if this makes sense but pleaseee write it I love your blog sm <3
The press found out about their relationship - Rin, Sae, Kaiser, Isagi, Karasu
m.list | rules
Note : hii ! Thank you sm for your request! I take some times to go through some of my requests before writing with another media I'm really into rn, sorry some will wait a bit mor
Same as the others ! There wasn't anyone mentioned but don't hesitate to ask for your fav if you want ♡
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Rin
He's not fan of it
I guess he adapted to it quickly, you being bring on a lot the first few weeks and things like that
But he's so tensed about it you have to calm him down a lot at first
He's upset all the time You have to remind him that's it's not only a bad things
And that people's reactions has been relatively good, that's already a good point
He's more worried about you obviously but in the end you're the one taking care of him
He feels a bit bad but yeah, he appreciates it a lot
Don't expect a lot of changes tho, he doesn't want his love life all over the internet
Sae
He's annoyed when the press found out, to say the least
He wish it could've stay private and doesn't want people to be after you
He hates the fact that he's ask about it now and has to be even more cold in interview than before
He tries to be unbothered but knowing how it changed your life it's impossible
Behind closed door at first he can spend a lot of time with you so make it up
He's famous so I think people tried to know more about you and invade your personal space
I don't think it necessarily goes wrong on social media, it's just trending a lot for a few days
You have to moderate your account a lot cause there's always hater
He still doesn't talk about you bc you asked him to
but he feel less pressure if some pictures of you two end up in the internet
Kaiser
He's ANGRY
Don't get it wrong, he thought about revealing your relationship a few times and you were still talking about it
But this happening without his consent or yours drive him crazy at first
Yet on camera he's cocky about it, telling he doesn't mind and rumbling about how gorgeous you are
He takes the opportunity as it is and posy about you more on his social media, without hiding you so much
He has his lawer ready to anyone spitting shit at you on social media tho
Don't mess with his s/o, he'll take actions
Isagi
He's lost poor guy
If you cry about it he does his absolute best to comfort you before contacting his agent to see what he can do
Honestly He's use to it but if you're not used to the fame, he's careful so your anxiety don't go crazy
He's sad if that change your life a lot but he does his best to not change a thing in your routine
The good point is that, like Kaiser, he can pray a lot more with you than before and he's really happy about it !!
He likes to share with people I think so it open a lot of doors
Karasu
He acts cool in front of the camera but he's annoyed
It was early in your relationship and he's scared it's gonna fucked it up
You have to be the one comforting him
You're not the type to make promises if you're not sure of yourself, but you assure him that the press and people finding out didn't scared you
You'll stay with him as long as possible, you don't see yourself leaving because of this
He's probably needed this more than he would've admit cause after this, being on camera is easier again
He's not upset anymore if they ask about you since you gave him a green light
He feels even lighter than before, in fact
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gglitch1dd · 3 months
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Angry Dilf Izuku pt2
Husband Midoriya Izuku x Wifey Reader
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Context: It's your birthday and your husband makes it loud and clear that Katsuki isn't welcomed here anymore.
Warning: Fluffy family time, punching, insinuation of mentally or emotionally cheating.
Note: This isn't my best but it was sitting in my drafts so i decided to post it. Cheating Dilf Izuku will be out soon.
“Shh! You’re gonna wake her up!”
“Well, I wouldn’t be so loud if you weren’t about to drop the tray!”
“SHH! Mama will hear!”
“Can we wake her up now?”
“Mama… mama…”
“Okay boys, we’re rolling.”
You felt someone shoving you, trying to shake you awake. To be honest, you had been awake for the past twenty minutes when you heard all the rustling downstairs from your boys making a racket (and no doubt a mess) downstairs. You let out a fake groan as you shuffled to pull the blankets closer to yourself. “Five more minutes, honey.” You let out in fake tiredness.
“You think we should let her sleep in?”
“I mean it is her birthday.”
“I think we should just wake her up!”
“Mama!” You felt a body land on you making you release an ‘oof’. You opened your eyes to see your little four year old. Shoyo had gleaming bright green eyes as he looked down at you with a beautifully happy expression. Out of all your boys, he was the one that looked the most like Izuku. “Happy birthday!!” He cheered with a bright smile.
You couldn’t help but chuckle, as you sat up in bed, moving to give him a hug. You would have thanked him when your eyes widened in surprise. In front of you were all your boys. Toshinori stood with a tray in his hands at your side. Asahi was holding your favourite morning beverage, both him and his eldest brother had flour, oily fingers and aprons on. Hero held a picture as he sat on the bed next to you and finally, your husband stood with a camera facing to you with a warm smile on his face and your youngest son, Koda, strapped to his chest who made happy babbles as he kicked his legs in his little onesie so happy to see you. You couldn’t help but feel tears in your eyes as you looked at your amazing boys.
“Happy birthday mommy!” They all cheered
“Boys…” You let out with a wavering voice. Your mouth wobbled as you tried to stop yourself from crying.
Toshinori chuckled as he moved to pick up his younger brother rather easily off of you as he put the tray of your favourite breakfast down on your lap. “None of that, momma.” Your oldest son spoke with a gentle smile as he put a kiss to your cheek making you smile. “It’s your birthday, you should enjoy it.”
“Yah! We worked super hard on your breakfast!” Asahi pointed out factually as he put his hands on his hips.
Toshinori looked back at his brother with a scrunched up face. The thirteen year old boy looked confused but also deeply offended. “You mean dad and I worked hard on her breakfast.” He corrected with a pointed look.
Asahi gasped. “I was there!”
“Taking up oxygen!”
Hero looked between his brothers. “B-but I made the card!” He tried chipping in. “That’s the best part!”
Both Toshinori and Asahi looked to their brother with shocked expression. “How in All Might’s good name is that better?”
“Yah! You didn’t even colour in the lines!”
“I did!”
“No you didn’t! Look!” Toshinori pointed to a picture of a bear who you were guessing was you. Hero was never really gifted with drawing capabilities but he sure did try. “You didn’t even colour the dress on the bunny right!”
“THAT’S MOM!”
“MOM’S NOT THAT UGLY!”
The room was filled with your boys arguing, your eyes moving to all of them. Shoyo and Koda, your two youngest seemed rather unbothered by it. Your husband however looked a slight bit annoyed which you found amusing. He stopped the recording on his phone before putting it in his pocket.
His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he looked down at your three eldest sons. “Boys.” The tone in his voice was enough to make all three boys close their mouths. Your husband shook his head in disapproval but couldn’t help the amused smile on his face. Izuku motioned to the side. “Go take the laundry downstairs and finish your breakfast.”
“Yes, sir.” Toshinori motioned for his brothers to go and fetch your laundry basket.
You sat with a gentle smile on your face as Izuku walked over to you with a loving look on his face. When you had both decided to have kids and had one of those long lengthy conversations about how you would parent, you had both agreed that he would be the disciplinarian. At first you were worried if your sensitive husband would be able to do it. However, years of being a ProHero and government official had made him rather strict when it came to certain things.
He was an amazing father, and he was often the first one to jump into misfit with the boys but if there was one thing he didn’t tolerate it was disrespect, dishonesty and lack of integrity. It was something he instilled into your boys that they weren’t going to be values that they represented. It was something you found undeniably sexy about him.
Your big man walked over to you, tilting your head up so that you could look up at him. A bright smile was on your face as you looked up at him. He chuckled as he moved his lips over yours. “Happy birthday, my love.” He let out with a low voice, a kiss to your lips. You couldn’t help but giggle against his kiss as you leaned forward against him for more. His hand slid down to wrap around your neck making a shiver rush down your neck. A gentle squeeze that told you that he would have plans for you soon.
“EWWW!” You both separated as you looked to your boys, all having scrunched up faces. Asahi made a fake gagging noise that made you both laugh.
Toshinori looked almost disappointed. “Otousan! While we’re here? That’s disgusting.”
“Hey!” You let out defensively as you squeezed Koda’s little cheeks as he stayed in his place strapped to Izuku’s chest. You let out a chuckle as you took your barely even one year old son away from his father and down to sit next to you. “It’s not disgusting, it’s love.”
“Yah and she’s my wife.” Izuku defended as he put a thumb to his chest proudly. He moved to sit at the edge of the bed, at your side, an arm around you. “And I don’t care if it’s disgusting.” He let out with a petty smile. You rolled your eyes, ignoring the lick your husband placed to your neck.
Another gag from Asahi came as he ran out of the room. “I’m gonna be sick!”
Toshinori shook his head as he led his two other brothers out of the room. “I told you guys! Mom and dad’s room is a trap!” He lectured, closing the door behind him, leaving you alone with Izuku and Koda.
You picked up your little boy who was gripping at your shirt with a whine. “Mama. Mama.” He babbled as he pulled at your shirt trying to access what was hidden underneath.
You couldn’t help but chuckle, but gave him a piece of a banana to distract him before he chomped his way to bruising your breasts. You turned to look at your husband who seemed satisfied with his display. “You are absolutely insatiable.” You let out as you took a bite of your breakfast.
Izuku tilted his head, deep dark green curls tilting to the side as he looked down at you, nothing but love in his eyes as he did so. “I know, I’m so terrible right?” He said with a smirk on his face, clearly not believing a word. “So terrible for wanting to kiss my wife.” His eyes flicked down to your lips. You couldn’t help but giggle as you met him in a gentle peck, trying to move away before he did something that would end up with the both of you not leaving your bedroom for another good ten minutes.
If there was one thing your boys got right it was the fact that Izuku was absolutely disgusting, but to you it was in the best way possible. Your husband was insatiable when it came to you and absolutely obsessed. The five boys being a testament to that. He always had a hand on you, or his lips on you, or his tongue in you. Whatever came first.
But no one could blame him, when you treated him so well. Izuku had filled out and was basically double the size he was when her married you. He had thickened out into his dad bod (which you found absolutely delicious) and you couldn’t deny that it looked good on him. It helped with hero work too considering shock absorption.
Unfortunately, it meant you had five hungry boys plus one huge hungry man to feed at all times of the day.
“So what do you have planned for me this year?” You asked him as you ate another spoon of your breakfast, handing Koda another banana as he had promptly finished his piece and was whining for another piece. Koda let out a happy squeal as he got another piece of a fruit he adored.
Izuku chuckled as he moved to pick up his youngest son and put him back against his chest. “A whole lot, but right now, the main one is nothing.” With Koda safely secured, Izuku looked back to you. He placed a large hand to your cheek. “You deserve to rest, my love. You do so much for the boys and I, it’s only fair we let you rest today.”
“But what about the lunch?” You asked as you put your hands to cover Izuku’s large one. Mina had excitedly said she would be coming over with Sero and her kids and you also automatically knew that Katsuki and Eijiro would be coming with their kids too.
Izuku put his hands on his hips as he put a proud look on his face. “We can handle it. The Midoriya boys have everything all under control.” He told you with wave down of his hand.
You lifted a single eyebrow not convinced. You looked down at Koda who seemed equally not convinced in his father as you did. You looked back up at Izuku with a blunt expression. “You called your mother, didn’t you.”
Your husband didn’t answer immediately. “If I were honest… she was already going to come whether or whether not I asked her to.”
“Izuku.”
“Honestly, honey, I think you should be glad I called her. She always makes life easier.” You couldn’t help but laugh at his words as he slowly backed off towards the door. “Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I’ve got this all sorted! You just gotta look pretty by 1pm.” He told you as he marched out of the room with Koda. “Isn’t that right buddy?”
“Dadada.”
“You see! Koda agrees!”
You laughed as you were finally left alone again, sitting in your bed. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself. You felt so unbelievably blessed to be sitting here with all that your family had planned for you. But more than that, you felt blessed to even have your family. You felt so unbelievably lucky.
“Go sprouts!” You heard Mina cheer as the kids were deep in a Just Dance competition amongst themselves. You couldn’t help but chuckle as you both sat beside one another outside by the deck chairs. You leaned back enjoying the relaxation and knowing that your husband didn’t want you to do a single thing. You sat with a simple cider in hand to spoil yourself. Mina chuckled as she turned to look at you. “So…” She let out as she wiggled her eyebrows. “Considering Hanta and I are taking Shoyo and Asahi, and Toshinori is having a sleepover with the Bakugous and Kirishimas and Mama Midoriya is taking Koda off your hands… what are the plans for the rest of the evening? Izuku’s been tight lipped about it.”
You lowered your sunglasses further down your nose before turning to look at your husband who was clearing up the outside tables. You watched as your larger than life husband laughed alongside Hanta. He wore a button-down shirt, that had the top few buttons open just due to the sheer fact that they physically could not close. You couldn’t help but think about just how big and rough he was now. Large thick hands that made everything smaller than they were.
“I know what I want to do.” You let out lowly as you watched your husband move around grabbing plates and taking them inside, before your eyes drifted down to his ass. “I want to climb that tree.”
Mina let out a loud laugh as she pushed your shoulder, however, you didn’t even get deterred. “Girl! I thought we were being safe. No more broccoli sprouts.”
You turned to look at her as you took a sip of your cider. “Mina, it’s harder than it looks.” You told her truthfully.
“Hey, Y/N.” You turned to see your sweet mother-in-law, Inko, shuffle over to you, holding Shoyo in her arms who was babbling off about a story about who knows what. “There’s someone at the door for you.” She told you.
You smiled as you stood up. “Thanks, Okaasan. I’ll get it, don’t worry.” You told her, placing a kiss to her cheek before moving to go answer the door. You walked past Toshinori and Hina Sero who were both deep in a dance to care about whoever was at the door. You chuckled as you moved into the entrance hallway and opened the door.
Standing outside your door was a family of four. Two children, around the same age as your eldest son stood there with bright smiles. Kane and Satomi stood with boxes in hand, gifts addressed to you. “Happy birthday Aunty Y/N!” They wished with bright smiles.
You let out an awe as you moved to hug them. “Awww thank you two!” You let out gratefully. “I’m so glad to see you.”
“Well of course we would come.” Kane let out with a shrug, his crimson eyes, so much like his father looked up at you. He folded his arms as he looked away from you with a soft blush on his face. He huffed. “You’re like a mother to us so of course we’d come to say happy birthday.” He spoke.
Satomi nodded her head as she looked up at you with bright ruby eyes. “Yes! We hope you like the gifts.”
You smiled dearly at the two children. With only their dads, they never really did have a maternal figure other than you. You tried your best to step into that role not only as their best friend’s mom but also just trying to be a decent human being. You crouched in front of them and hugged them both. “Thank you so much. It means a lot to me.” You spoke sincerely as you placed a kiss to each of their heads. “How about you go tell Toshinori that you’re here to pick him up, and you can leave the gifts down in the kitchen.” You motioned into the house, allowing the two of them to sprint in.
You stood back up straight to face their fathers. You smiled as you faced Kirishima and Bakugou. “Katsuki, Eijiro, It’s so good to see you two. Thank you so much for taking Toshinori for the night.” You let out truly grateful.
First to speak was your ex, Bakugou Katsuki. He let out a low laugh, the blond moving to pull you into a tight hug. “It’s high time we repay all your babysitting hours. Happy birthday, Y/N.” He let out lowly in your ear again. You moved back out of his arms, but he kept his hands on you.
“Katsuki is right, Happy birthday Y/N.” Kirishima wished sincerely as he stood behind Bakugou in everything.
“Thank you.” You stated as you tried to step back out of Bakugou’s linger touch, however it was quickly rectified as a large hand pulled you back into his front as he stood in the doorway. You turned to look up to see your husband with a tense smile. His hand resting on your shoulder. His hold on you was clearly possessive but also cautionary.
Bakugou’s crimson eyes, filled with mischief and amusement flicked up to Izuku. He let out a scoff as he tilted his head to the side. “Deku.” He put his hands in his pockets, staying silent.
“Kacchan.” Izuku let out stiffly. He hummed as he gave your hand a squeeze. You knew what that meant and put a hand over his own, trying to calm him down. Over the past few weeks, Izuku had been able to promptly avoid Katsuki and everything he had to say about you, however, it seemed like today would be the day where he would address the elephant in the room. He motioned for you to head back inside but kept looking to Bakugou. “Honey, go fetch Toshinori.”
You looked up at him wordlessly, but at the look on his face you knew that he needed your support on this. You nodded your head but before you could leave, you heard Katsuki let out a scoff.
The blond man folded his arms as he looked over at you. He motioned to your husband with a finger but looked at you amusedly. “You gonna let him boss you around, sugar?” He asked.
You furrowed your eyebrows, not sure as to what Katsuki was trying to do here. “I trust my husband, Katsuki.” You stood your ground as you moved in closer to Izuku’s side.
His jaw tensed at your words. Kirishima took a step forward, confused as to what was going on but put a hand to Bakugou’s shoulder. “Katsuki, drop it.” He told him gently. “It’s Y/N’s birthday, there’s no need to be so hostile.”
Bakugou shrugged off Kirishima’s arm as he let out a huff. His redheaded husband looked surprised at the action, his face forming into hurt as he watched Bakugou. The blond rolled his eyes as he moved to head inside. “I’ll go get the kids.”
However, stopping him in his tracks was Izuku. He stepped to the side, folding his arms as he did so, blocking the entire doorway. Bakugou looked at him surprised with wide eyes as he looked up at the green haired man in front of him. Izuku had made sure that you were behind him at all times, making sure that you wouldn’t be caught in the middle of the both of us.
“Kacchan, I think it’s best you don’t enter my house… ever.” He stated firmly.
Bakugou scoffed as he tilted his head. “And why the fuck not.”
“I don’t appreciate how you look or talk about my wife and until you sort that out, I don’t want you anywhere near her or my kids.” He specified.
It was Kirishima’s turn to look confused as he looked over at Bakugou. His eyebrows furrowed as he rested his hands out of his pockets. Despite being one of the biggest men you knew, Kirishima had been looking awfully small nowadays. “Katsuki…” He let out softly and unsurely. “What is Midoriya talking about?”
“It doesn’t matter, Eij.” Bakugou dismissed it entirely before turning to look at you. You automatically took a step back. “Y/N, are you really going to-”
“Hey!” Izuku moved so that you were completely out of sight from the blond. “You are not talking to her, you’re talking to me.” He put a thumb to his chest as he took a step forward. “So I want you, back in your car, away from my family.”
Bakugou scowled as he looked up at the green haired man in front of him. Years of letting you be swept off your feet by Midoriya after the two of you broke up, the both of you married faster than Katsuki could even breathe and having five boys. Years of agony of Katsuki watching the girl that he coveted and loved being taken from his grasp. It all felt like it was bursting open, especially with such an order.
“Like hell am I staying away.” He let out lowly and stubbornly. “You think your big shit, huh, Deku? You think your so big and tough just cause you’ve got your ring on her finger.”
“Yes.” Izuku stated seriously. “I am her husband, Katsuki. Not you, not anyone else, but me! You’ve got five minutes to step away from my front door, the else I’m not liable to what happens next.” He growled down in anger.
“You threatening me, Deku?”
Izuku stepped forward with a scowl on his face. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”
Bakugou nodded, turning around to leave, almost resigning to whatever your husband had to say. However, you knew the blond far to well to know that he would never back down from such. Your eyes widened before you could say anything, you watched Bakugou swing at your husband. With a slight flash of light, lighting and static fluttering over your husband’s skin as he dodged it, stepping back. A scowl went to his face as he immediately went to connect a punch to Bakugou’s face.
You gasped as you stepped back, although not entirely surprised they were fighting. It was going to happen sooner or later regardless.
“Midoriya!” Kirishima shouted as he hardened his arms and just barely managed to pull your husband off of Bakugou. Bakugou leaned against the Jeep they had come in, wiping blood from his nose as he sneered at Izuku.
Izuku let out a huff. He pointed a finger at the blond. “I don’t want to ever see you here again.”
You paused as you turned to see Toshinori. He was holding his backpack straps, Kane and Satomi still being somewhere in your house. He flicked his gaze to you before looking back at the glimpse of outside. He frowned before shrugging off his backpack. He turned around. “Guys, I think we’ll have a sleepover another time! I promise Hina I’d go over to her place.”
You let out a soft sigh in relief that your son was as fast and as perceptive as his father was. No doubt he would have questions but you doubted that they would be answered today.
With all the kids out of your house, you and your husband were cuddled in bed watching a movie play on the screen. You looked up at him, watching as the glow of the TV painted his face as he sat beside you, an arm around you protectively. Izuku turned to look down at you, feeling your eyes on him. “You alright, my love?” He asked lowly.
You smiled up at him as you moved to shuffle and climb ontop of him. His eyes went wide as you straddled his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. You got comfortable on top of him, earning a smirk like grin on his face, sharp canines glinting in the low light as he moved his large arms to rest on your hips. “Ever tell you how much I love you?”
Izuku nodded his head, deeply hypnotised by you already. “Oh yah… I just never get tired of hearing it.”
[Angry Dilf Izuku Pt1]
[Izuku Midoriya Masterlist]
827 notes · View notes
ddejavvu · 1 month
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pairing: anakin skywalker x reader:
summary: anakin fucks people that remind him of you
warnings: smut, minors dni. intense obsession (it's anakin), dubious fantasies, he doesn't treat his hookups very well
for @hanasnx who i have left waiting for far too long for this.
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anakin fucks people that remind him of you.
he's hopelessly, obsessively in love with you. that much has been true since he'd met you. but you're with someone else, and no matter how much he tries willing your relationship to end; no matter how long he spends in some devilish imitation of prayer to the only god he knows, the Force, you're happy with another.
eventually, squeezing his eyes shut and picturing your face isn't enough to get him to shoot a load all over his stomach. he does it too many times, he rubs his cock raw and the novelty fades.
he makes it a point to inhale when he's near you, especially if you grace him with a hug. he commits the smell of your body spray to memory, and scours every care shop he can find until he picks up a bottle that matches your scent. he screams his throat raw into the pillow that he's sprayed with your smell as he fucks his fist. this works for a bit, but like the addiction you are, it fades again. he needs more.
he doesn't go out looking for someone like you, but when he spots a familiar haircut across the dingy lower-level bar that makes his cock twitch, he goes after them. it's not you, their face is less defined and rounder at the forehead, but he gets a terrible, awful, evil idea and he coaxes them to the back corner for a quick fuck. he squeezes his eyes shut and when they try kissing him and it doesn't bring with it a rush of your scent, he pushes them away and keeps them pinned to the wall while he jackhammers into them.
it gets worse, spiraling, spiraling, spiraling until he's fixating on a stranger with your cheekbones, a passerby whose voice sounds like yours. he lets them display their similar traits; cheekbones gets the privilege of his nose buried against their face and singsong gets to moan. if cheekbones dares moan though- it's not your voice, and he steals the breath from their lungs for just long enough to fuck it out between their hips and hike his pants back up.
the more he fucks, the worse he gets. he doesn't know he's moaning your name until someone has the gall to correct him, a breathy, "No, no, I'm- I'm Raya.'
Anakin kicks up a panicked, grunting wail as your face shatters and falls from his mind, the sound guttural and angry as he pins Raya's wrists beside their head. they're touching him but not like you would, so they're not allowed to touch him anymore. and they said their name was not yours, so they're not allowed to talk anymore. and they're ruining his fantasy, so would they just shut up so he can finish already? His raging cry covers the most part of their name but doesn't erase it; anakin has to muzzle them with his large hand to get enough of his fantasy back to where he's able to spill into your warm, wet hole, and he doesn't offer them so much as a courtesy kiss on the way out.
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twirlyleafs · 1 month
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“Gold-digger.” (Pt2) (pt1 here)
Max Verstappen x reader
TW: nothing really, angsty? lol
A/N: oml so many of you asked for a part 2 and I’m just so happy you liked the first part!! thank uuu!!
~~~~
To say that you slept bad was an understatement. The moment Daniel let you in to his and Heidi’s hotel room you had started crying and it took almost half an hour before the couple got a sense of what had happened. They’d been at the dinner, hearing Maxs comments, and after piecing it together with what you were telling them now they began to see the bigger picture. Heidi sat with you on the balcony while Daniel made up the couch, insisting you should share the bed with his girlfriend despite your objection.
You hadn’t been able to sleep that much, and it wasn’t because Daniel’s snoring or Heidi’s tossing and turning. Every time you were about to fall asleep you could hear Maxs voice telling you what a shitty girlfriend you were, or you imagined him complaining to his friends that you used up his money like some sort of gold digger. You knew he didn’t think quite like that, and he definitely wouldn’t do any of those things but the knowledge of how he saw your whole relationship had you spiraling.
When Daniel woke, he was always an early riser, he found you already wide awake and anxious. The Aussie knew by the look on your face that you didn’t want to leave the safety of the hotel room alone and he quickly invited you to breakfast. Said and done, Daniel kissed his sleeping girlfriend goodbye before the two of you trudged out in the hallway. It was still early enough that everything was quiet and empty, the only sound being your yawn and Danny typing on his phone.
“You think they have pancakes?” You asked, rubbing your eyes as you walked. He hummed, looking up from his phone with a small smile.
“I hope so. I need some.”
“Yeah.” You scoffed. “Me too. And I need them to practically be swimming in chocolate sauce and-“ You stopped, both talking and walking, when you saw a door open further down the hallway. Daniel walked a few more steps, glancing between Max stepping out of the room and you with an apologetic pout. He must’ve told Max you were coming. Asshole. You met his gaze and he mouthed a sorry, making you shake your head before carefully looking over at the man standing in the doorway. He offered an unsure smile. Daniel grabbed your arm, giving you no choice but to start walking again. When the two of you reached Max he gave you an encouraging squeeze and patted Max on the shoulder before he disappeared down the hallway. You should’ve known you couldn’t trust Daniel.
“Hey.” Max said softly, making you look up at him. You took note of the dark circles under his eyes and judging by the way his face fell he probably noticed how red yours were.
“Hi.”
“You wanna talk?” Max opened the door a bit wider and with a soft nod you snuck past him into the room. You heard him let out a breath of relief and you found yourself being almost grateful that he seemed to be just as nervous as you were. You sunk down on the edge of the bed, watching as Max sat down in one of the chairs. He rubbed his hands over his face before leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. “How are you feeling?”
You shrugged and pulled your legs up under yourself, casting your gaze down on your fiddling fingers. “Not to good, I guess.” You answered honestly, Max answering with a soft hum, agreeing. Things were quiet for a while before he spoke up.
“Are you still angry?” You would’ve been annoyed at the question if it wasn’t for the genuine sadness in his voice. Instead you shook your head.
“No. Just a bit sad I think.”
“I didn’t mean to make you sad schatje.” His words were almost whispered. You looked up at him through lashes.
“Do you still believe we’re only together because you’re paying me?”
“That was never- that not what I meant.” He practically whined, shaking his head. “I love you.”
“You just don’t think I actually love you? I’m just using you for your money?” Max gave you a defeated look, shaking his head quickly.
“That’s not-“
“It’s exactly what you said Max!” You exclaimed, interrupting him. You felt the tears pressing behind your eyes again. “Do you know how much of a bad fucking girlfriend I feel like knowing that’s how you see us? Me?” His eyes widened slightly but he didn’t have time to say anything before you started talking again. “I mean, I would’ve paid for my own food, my own travels- everything! If I just knew you felt like that I wouldn’t have let you spend your money on me but you always insist and you’ve always told me you wanted to-“
“I do want to.” He intervened quickly.
“But you want to for the wrong reasons. You want to because you think you need to, because you think I want you to.” When your eyes met again you could tell Max didn’t know what to say. His mouth opened and closed again, no words coming out as his gaze faltered to the ground. You reached up and quickly wiped a stray tear, sniffing quietly as the silence settled. It felt like forever before you heard Maxs voice again.
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t either.” You agreed.
“Let’s just-“ Max sighed, scratching the stubble on his cheek. “Let’s just go home, yeah?” When you didn’t answer he leaned forward slightly, trying to get your attention. You slowly raised your gaze to met his, both your eyes portraying to much emotions to process.
“I think I need to be alone for a bit.”
“Yeah, okay. Yeah sure.” He nodded, swallowing harshly. “I’ll- eh, I’ll go down to breakfast and you can order up? If you want to? And then I’ll text you when it’s time to leave for the airport?”
“No, Max.” You shook your head, face contorting in a sad frown. He paused, offering an encouraging nod. He wanted you to tell him what you needed, how to fix this. He was willing to do whatever you wanted. Or at least he thought so. “I think I need to be alone for more than a few hours. Like, I think I should travel alone back home, maybe even back to my parents for a bit. Just to-“
“Wait.” You hated the look of panic mixed with pure hurt that flashed across his face as he sat up a bit straighter. “Wait, no, y/n please.”
“I’m not saying that we’re breaking up Max.” You assured him, watching with a heavy heart as he stood, quickly making his way over to you. The second he sat down next to you on the edge of the bed his hands found yours and you could feel the panic seeping through his fingers.
“I get that I fucked up. I get that. I shouldn’t have said what I said, I didn’t mean it. Liefje please don’t-“
“Max.”
“Please don’t leave me. You know I love you, right?” With every word his voice lost its steadiness and you could practically hear his heart beating out of his chest. “I love you so much-“
“Max.” You interrupted him again, pulling your hand from his grasp to reach up and cup his cheek. “I know, alright? I know. I love you too.” His eyes flickered between yours, unconsciously leaning into your palm.
“Don’t leave.”
With a soft breath you leaned in to press a light kiss against his lips before shuffling closer, letting him wrap his arms around your body. When you placed your head against his chest he tightened his grip, terrified of letting go. The two of you sat like that, just holding each other for what felt forever. You thought back on the past twelve hours. The words that had been said, the insecurities that’d bubbled up. You knew Max never meant to hurt you, you knew that even before you entered his hotel room this morning but the conversation you just had cemented it. The man currently holding you tightly against his chest was the love of your life, no doubt about it, but that didn’t change the fact that all you could think about right now was money. His money, your money, how you could ever let him spend even one euro on you ever again. The thought had your insides churning and that’s why you knew you needed time. Time to process and figure this out before you could come back to him.
“How long?” You snapped out of your thoughts at Maxs voice, so quiet and gentle that you barely caught it at first. When you asked what he meant he let out a breath. “How long do you need? How long til you come back?”
“I don’t know Max. But I’ll come back. I promise.”
~~~~
Ten days. For ten days the only contact between you and Max had been an occasional phone call and a few pictures. He sent you updates on Jimmy and Sassy and you answered with pictures of your parent’s dog, Bongo. Other than that he gave you the space you’d asked for, no matter how much it hurt him not to constantly beg you to come home.
During your time at your parent’s house you’d spent your time just being. Going back to your roots. You hadn’t been brought up traveling the world in private jets or expensive boats and despite loving your life with Max it felt nice to just trudge around your parents backyard in your pajamas, throwing sticks for your dog to fetch. Your father was the most logical person in your life, he’d always been the one you’d turn to when you needed advice and this time it was no different. Your parents both loved Max and they were obviously upset when you came home crying, but after a few days spent talking and reasoning with them you finally saw the situation in a different light. Your dad’s words echoed in your head as you carefully slipped the keys into the door of your apartment, a deep breath leaving your lips when you stepped inside. You were relived to finally be home and you could almost feel yourself buzzing at the thought of seeing Max again. You spoke his name as you walked through the apartment, frowning slightly at the stillness of it. It took you a few minutes before you finally made it to Maxs office, stopping in the doorway when you saw him. He was in his gaming chair, one knee tucked against his chest and chin resting tiredly against it. The computer was turned off, instead his attention was on the toy in his hand as he bounced it slightly for Sassy to play with. You smiled softly at the sight, feeling your chest swell when you heard Max mumble something to the cat.
“Where’s Jimmy?” Despite your words coming out soft and quiet Max flinched, dropping the toy to the ground as he looked up at you. His eyes were wide and lips parted slightly as he took you in, trying to convince himself you were really there.
“You’re home.” He stated and you couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh, nodding.
“I told you I’d come back, right?” Max just shook his head, rising from the chair. In a few quick strides he reached you, immediately wrapping his arms around your body and pressing you tightly against his chest. Without a thought your arms snaked around his waist, feeling your whole body relax completely for the first time since before all this. You didn’t know exactly what it was that had you suddenly feel your throat closing up, the tears pressing behind your eyes as you turned your face even deeper into his shirt, but you knew they were good tears.
“Fuck.” Maxs voice was shaky, you could tell he was on the verge of crying too, and you squeezed him even tighter. “Fuck I missed you.”
“I missed you too Maxie.” You mumbled against his chest, breathing in his scent. You’d known you’d missed him while at your parents, but somehow you hadn’t expected to be quite this emotional reuniting with him. The two of you held each other for a moment, only separating slightly when Sassy pushed her way between your legs, loud noises leaving her small frame. As you leaned away from Max you chuckled down at the furry creature, softly assuring her that you’d missed her too, before your gaze moved up to your boyfriend. You found him already staring down at you, one hand reluctantly leaving your body to reach up and cup your cheek. When you leaned slightly into his palm you noticed him release a breath, finally a small smile making its way to his face. It disappeared too soon for your liking, a light frown taking its place.
“I’m so sorry.” He began, voice serious.
“Max-“ you sighed, but he shook his head and you pressed your lips together, deciding to let him talk. By the look on his face it seemed like he really needed to get this out.
“I realized a few days ago that I never actually apologized. I wanted to call and tell you straightaway but I didn’t want to disturb, I didn’t want to say it over text either but- baby I’m so sorry.” Max spoke slowly, he needed you to really hear him. “I never should’ve said any of that shit and even though I didn’t mean it like you think I did I should’ve realized how it sounded.” He paused for a second, hand slipping from your face to gently hold yours between your bodies. You nodded encouragingly, gently swiping your thumb across his knuckles as he continued. “For me it has always been sort of obvious that the things I have I’ve gotten because of racing. My dad always said that if I wanted something I had to be the best and I guess that just fucked with my head, fucked with the way I see myself and people around me. I’m used to people wanting something from me and somehow I applied that to you too, despite the fact that I’ve actually never felt like that with you. I fell in love with you because you made everything seem so effortless, like you just needed me and nothing else. You’ve never asked me for anything, even if you could and I’d happily give it to you, and I can’t for my life figure out why I would say what I said. I think it was my own insecurities, my fears, that had me place those thoughts on you and I can’t stress enough how fucking sorry I am for that.” He swallowed hard, bottom lip stuck between his teeth as he waited for you to answer. Your eyes trailed over his face and you contemplated carefully how to respond before eventually speaking up.
“I know you didn’t mean it like- like I thought in the beginning. I realize that now, after some time. I understand your point of view- or maybe I don’t understand it but I accept it. I know you Max, I know the way your mind works and your insecurities. But you also know me and it really hurt me to know that even the thought of me being with you for your money crossed your mind.” His gaze dropped down to your hands at your words, nodding. He was ashamed, you knew he was, and despite knowing he might deserve it you really didn’t want him to. Not anymore. With a soft breath you pulled your hand from his, reaching up to cup both his cheeks. When Max met your gaze again you offered a small smile, thumbs moving over his skin. “We all let stupid thoughts cloud our minds sometimes, that’s human. I’m not holding it against you as long as you promise me you’ll tell me if you ever actually feel like I’m somehow taking advantage of you. Or your money.”
“I promise.” He nodded quickly and you couldn’t help but let out a light laugh. Without another word you reached up on your toes, capturing his lips in a long awaited kiss. Despite the fact that it was supposed to be a short and sweet peck the both of you craved more, having been away from each other for way too long. Max deepened the kiss and it didn’t take long until he hoisted you up in his arms, lips instead attacking your neck and shoulder as he mumbled scattered declarations of love against your skin.
Later that evening the two of you laid curled up in bed, legs tangled together and Maxs head placed securely on your chest. As your fingers combed their way through his hair his drew random shapes against your skin, both of you enjoying the sounds of Jimmy and Sassy’s purring from the other side of the bed.
“I’d love you every time.” Max mumbled suddenly, making you pause for a second before continuing your movement.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I’d find you no matter what, I’d love you in every timeline and every universe. No matter what any of us were doing I’d find a way to be with you.” His words were almost a bit slurred, the sleepiness thick in his voice, but you heard him loud and clear and it made your heart swell.
“I’d find you too Max. Even if you worked at a gas station.”
~
Tagging ppl who asked for pt2 <33 @brod16 @spookystitchery @witchsbitchestime @bingussthirdtoe @itsjustkhaos @tylerstacobell @ironmaiden1313 @bitchreader @sp1rl @marvelfangirl04 @kravitzwhore @darleneslane @amberpanda99
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another-lost-mc · 9 months
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I would like to imagine that my MC recently got a reversible octupus plushie she got from human world when she visited home. The demon brothers notices the new plushie in MC's room but did not care about it until they saw it changed to the angry face.
Now, everyone of them is frantic, including Luci but his prideful self decides to keep it cool.
Who in the Devildom made MC mad? Asmo and Levi is crying. Mammon is pacing around the common room. Luci, Satan, and Belphie are seething. Beel lost his appetite.
They did not notice anything while at RAD, or when the residents from Purgatory Hall visited.
Was it because Beel ate MC's pudding, when she specifically said that she's keeping it because she will eat it as a midnight snack?
Was it Levi when he *asked* MC to watch new anime season installment, for 3 nights in a row?
Or Satan when he spam messaged MC with cat pictures?
Spoiler- It was actually Solomon who switched it to angry just to troll the demon brothers and MC though that it was not a big deal anyway 🤣
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a/n: I want one of those plushies too, they're so cute.
when mc has a reversible mood plushie | the demon brothers
0.5k words| sfw | gn!reader
cw: a bit of mischevious sleep/dream stuff in belphie's section.
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They freak out when they see your plushie is turned to the angry side and assume you're unhappy. One day they peek in your room to talk to you. They spot the little octopus plushie laying on your bed and it's flipped back to the happy side again. Yay! But wait, what did they do to make you so happy in the first place?!
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Lucifer thinks that you liked all the extra time you spent helping him with some student council business this week. You complained at the time, but was that a ruse to hide how much you enjoyed his company as much as he secretly enjoyed yours?
Mammon thinks you're his good luck charm and wouldn't you know it, he just hit it big at the casino. He has a few outstanding bills to pay off, but first he's gonna buy you something nice!
Levi gave you some extra gacha capsule toys he had duplicates of. He wasn't even sure if you liked that anime, but maybe he guessed your favourite character by accident. (After this, he's going to give you a lot of little gifts featuring a particular character whose name you don't even remember, but he looks so excited to give them to you that you can't refuse.)
Satan thinks about the books he's lent you recently and assumes curling on the sofa with a good book solved all your problems. He loves those particular books and now he's certain that you love them too. Of course you did, who else knows your taste in literature or anything else better than him? He can't wait to talk to you about them in more detail later.
The only thing Asmo can think of is that you realized a selfie of you two together on Devilgram started trending before he even noticed. Well, he's going to be taking your picture a lot more from now on. It's adorable how camera-shy you are, but he promises to keep most of them private for only the two of you to enjoy. ♡
Beel avoided a meltdown last night when the buffet he took you to threatened to cut him off. He tries really hard to keep his hunger in check when you go out together, so you must be really proud of him! Maybe he'll pick up a few dozen cupcakes at Madam Scream's as a thank-you gift...
Belphie could tell you were feeling stressed last night. His brothers just don't know how to leave you alone, do they? They bother you with their foolishness and you're too nice to say no (even though he knows your grumpy little octopus friend is a warning to them all if they don't get the hint). If he made you a little drowsy after dinner so you could go to bed early and get a good night's sleep, that's his business. He thought he was careful not to leave a trace when he visited your dreams last night too, but maybe you knew he was there all along? Well, he's happiest when he can spend time with you, awake or asleep, so it makes sense you feel the same way.
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amomentsescape · 9 months
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The Slashers React to You Bringing Home a Kitten
A/N: This is purely for fun. I've only included the Slashers I've written fics for so far. But these types of fics tend to put a smile on my face so I'd be happy to write more of these for whoever wants them (for whichever Slashers people want to see too)!
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Michael Myers
Probably the most angry of the Slashers included here
He's not going to kill the kitten by any means, but he isn't happy about it being here
It's another mouth to feed, another thing that needs to be quieted
If you're able to keep the kitten quiet and away from Michael, then the killer will more so become indifferent to it
It makes you happy and doesn't bother him? Cool, do what you will
However, if he feels that it's becoming a nuisance, he'd happily leave a door open on "accident"
It was already difficult enough for him to create a bond with you
But with a kitten that can't even talk to him?
Yeah, he'd rather not
Jason Voorhees
Oh my
A cute innocent creature that is super sweet to him?
It's basically just another you
And he likes you, so he immediately likes the kitten
This man wreaks havoc and leaves behind human blood trails all the time
However, he doesn't really want to hurt any animals
These furry creatures have caused him no harm
They never judged him based on his appearance
They were never cruel or bullied him like other people did
In fact, he was fascinated with all sorts of animals as a child
Kittens were no exception
So you come home with a cuddly little cat that enjoys to cuddle up with him?
He'll take it happily
Brahms Heelshire
He's kinda eh with this at first
The house is huge, and it's not like a tiny kitten is going to take up much space here
But what this kitten does take up is more of your attention
And Brahms being Brahms, he starts to become jealous
Your attention went from being solely on him to now being divided with this animal that could clearly fend for itself
You need to feed it, cuddle it, and give it attention?
That's what you should be doing with him
He definitely has a few moments where he debates "getting rid" of the kitten
But then he pictures your crying face and decides against it
But he still considers it from time to time
However, if you are able to turn kitten time into Brahms-and-kitten-time, then he might learn to like it
Animals freak him out slightly since he's not really used to having them around
But he could learn to deal with it eventually
Just make sure you divide up your attention equally
Billy Loomis
He's more of a dog person honestly
But you were swooning and aw-ing over this poor little thing so Billy gave in
You were probably just going to keep nagging him about it anyways
He's definitely like one of those dads that insist they don't want a pet but eventually fall in love with it
Billy will never admit this though
But you can see it
Over the span of a couple weeks, Billy went from just eyeing the kitten to letting it crawl and sleep in his lap
He tries to act all nonchalant about it
But the moment you look away
His eyes are on the kitten and a gentle smile graces his features
Okay so maybe the kitten isn't that bad
But maybe you're just making him all soft
He's secretly not complaining though
Stu Macher
Literally all for it
He loves cats, dogs, hamsters, all animals pretty much
He might honestly become more obsessed over this little kitten than you
He most definitely wants to dress it up like Ghostface
Like are you kidding?
How adorable is that
You can hear loud footsteps in the middle of the night
And when you check, Stu is chasing the kitten back and forth during it's zoomies
Buys (and steals) all sorts of toys for the little thing
Lets it sleep on his chest at night
He's obsessed with this kitten and you
It's like his own little family
And he's honestly super happy with that
Eric Draven
Have you learned anything about Eric?
He loves cats
He does want the kitten and Gabriel to get along though
But if they make quick friends, then great
He plays around with the kitten pretty often
And he's overall just happy to have another something in his life to bring a little joy
The kitten chills with Eric outside while he plays guitar
The only issue is that the kitten would rather spend more time with Eric than you
Tries to play with the crow
The bird just caws annoyedly and flys off
Eric and you both cuddle up at night with the kitten in the middle
It's a pretty relaxing domestic life to be honest
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daydreaming-nerd · 10 days
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The Prophecy (Lucien Vanserra x Rhys! Sister)/(Azriel x Rhys! Sister) Part 3 (Azriel's Version)
Part One , Part 2
AN: "Majesty, Palo is exhausted. Because Majesty only Palo can take this (angst) and this (groveling) and give you...a masterpiece."
No fr guys I put my whole puss into this plz tell me if you liked it
check out my masterlist
Summary: The only thing worse than having Azriel not know about the bond is watching him and Elain carry on like she doesn’t have a mate as well. Lucien and you have been long time friends but things change after one fateful starfall celebration. It’s not wrong if both of your mates don’t want you right? 
Warnings: angst, fluff like so much fluff, no editing (I'm so tired omg)
Word count: 9,370
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We arrived in the house in silence, the only thing to fill the void was the crackling of the enchanted fire that always sprang to life whenever I walked through the door. My eyes were fixed on the floorboards, studying every grain of wood as I put together what had just happened. 
I had told Azriel about the bond, and I did it in anger. I had imagined telling him a million different ways over the past 400 years but never did imagine doing it out of spite. I was just so angry with Elain and her insufferable entitlement that had me seeing red. If anyone should act in such a manner, it should be me, I was a princess after all. 
I was furious with Elain there was no doubt about that, but the voice that kept echoing in my mind was Azriel’s. How he yelled at me. I had known him my whole life and I had never once been afraid of him, until today. 
As if he was tired of the silence, Lucien brushed his hand under my chin bringing my gaze to his, it wasn’t until then that I realized I was crying. 
“Are you okay?” he asked, brows furrowing at my tear stained cheeks. 
“Yeah,” I laughed him off, wiping the water from my face. 
“I’m sorry I interfered like that, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to speak to him or if you wanted me to kick his ass. But he seemed mad and I wouldn’t stand for him yelling at you.” Lucien apologized leaning against the back of the couch a good three feet away sensing I needed some space. 
“I suppose that I wasn’t sure what I wanted either,” I sigh leaning against the doorframe. “Thank you for stepping in. I think it was for the best.” 
“Of course, I’ll always be there for you,” Lucien nods before resuming his staredown with the floor, probably trying to make sense of everything just like I was. “Az seemed…concerned for you. I think the bond snapped for him.” 
“It did,” I say, running my hand over my chest, as if I could touch the faint glow of the bond that now sat in my chest. “It clicked the moment he saw us in the kitchen.”
“Are you happy it clicked?” he asked, once again asking all the questions I truly didn’t have an answer for, at least not yet. 
“I-I’m not sure.” I say honestly, knowing I didn’t need to hide my true feelings from Lu. “I’ve pictured him finding out a million ways, but over the last couple years I’ve kind of given up on the whole endeavor. I felt like I made it clear that I liked him, and he only met me with complaints about other women. First Mor and then Elain.” 
“Maybe he’s changed,” Lucien pointed out. 
“Even if he had it’s not because he loves me.” I murmured sadly. “You heard him in there. He only wants me because he feels entitled to me. He never once acted like he cared about me beyond being his best friend's little sister.” 
“I suppose you’re right, it’s hard to forgive 400 years of cruel behavior,” Lucien muttered, still staring at that little spot on the floor. 
I strode across the room and leaned against the couch with him. I wanted to say something, anything to break the silence. But it was as if all the air had been sucked from the room in one foul swoop. I had just let out a 400 year old secret and for the first time ever, our mates seemed to give a damn about us. I look to Lucien who is still processing everything and I recall how Elain was so upset to see her mate with another female.
“Elain…” I started, wanting to tread carefully. “She seemed pretty upset,” I said, only stating the obvious. 
Lucien chuckled, “Yeah, I think that’s the first time she’s ever called me her mate.” 
“And how do you feel about that?” I ask wanting to give him the same room to speak that he gave me. I knew if he didn’t feel like sharing he wouldn’t, Lucien was no pushover. 
“I feel strangely happy,” he says and for the first time since we got back his lip curls into a half smile. “I think that she might be willing to give me a chance.” 
My heart warms at the idea of Lucien finally getting to have a chance with his true mate, “I’m really happy for you Lu,” I smile, patting his hand that sat on the back of the couch. 
He snaps out of his trance, “that’s not to say that you’re not- you’re a wonderful woman y/n-” he rambles. 
“Hey, HEY!” I shout getting his attention. “I’m happy for you Lucien. You deserve this,” I laugh at his attempt to not hurt my feelings. 
“Thank you y/n,” he smiles, grabbing my hands and squeezing them. 
“What do we do now though,” I sigh looking at his family ring on my finger. 
His eyes flit to the ring as well as his thumb brushes over it, “We continue on as normal, we can push back the wedding. I’m not confident in what Elain wants from me at this point and you clearly are at odds with Azriel. If things don’t work out…” he trails off thinking about hsi next words. “If things don’t work out I would still be honored to have you as my wife. I still feel like we could make eachother happy.” he says earnestly. 
I look into his eyes of russet and gold and see that he truly means every word, “Okay,” I nod my voice barely above a whisper. 
“Okay,” he agrees, keeping his voice down as well. “Shall we head to bed?” he asks. 
“We shall,” I laugh, following him up the stairs. 
That night we didn’t make love, we cuddled as normal though, but somehow even that felt wrong, now that the bond I prayed over for so long hummed within my chest.
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 While the little High Lord in training was typically quite docile, he had just learned to crawl and had begun flapping his little wings, which meant trouble was becoming the new normal. Which is exactly what had happened today…
“Nyx no!” I shouted as he reached for a heavy book on one of the bookshelves, his tiny wings helping him to gain the extra inch or two of ground he needed. 
I grabbed him from underneath his shoulders and brought him into my arms, bouncing him on my hip as his eyes caught the shiny necklace I was wearing. His little hands grabbed at it and I figured it was better than a vase or another heavy book. 
“Just wait till he can actually fly,” Lucien chuckled, coming up behind me.
“That won’t be for quite a while thankfully,” I laugh, bouncing the babe up and down.
“Are you so sure about that? Cassian seems to already be giving him lessons.” he points out. 
“I don’t even want to think about a flying toddler,” I scoff and Lucien chuckles behind me. 
 He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and I could feel his lips curling into a smile.“You’re going to be a great mother one day” he admitted. 
“I’ve always wanted children,” I said and a beat of silence passed until I decided to be bold. “Lu, do you think we could ever have children?” I ask, afraid to turn around and possibly see a wary look on his face.
I felt Lucien’s chuckle reverberate behind me, “Of course, I’ve always been fond of children myself,” he laughed. 
I whipped around with Nyx to search his eyes for a hint of uncertainty, but he seemed happy about the idea, “Really?” I asked in disbelief. 
“Of course,” he assured me. 
“I want a million just like little Nyx here,” I smile looking at the babe in my arms. 
“Minus the wings of course,” Lucien laughs behind me and I pause. 
My entire life I had always pictured my children with wings. Small, delicate little things that I would ‘ooo’ and ‘ahhh’ over.  I remembered seeing the Illyrian children in Windhaven growing up, I was always so happy when mothers would let me hold their babies, their wings so adorably small. I looked forward to having winged children of my own, I always pictured them scaling Azriel when they were little like Nyx, and as they got older I would watch as Az taught them to fly.
“What is it my dear?” Lucien asked, breaking me out of my trance. 
“Oh it’s nothing, it’s just that when I pictured my children I always figured they would have wings,” I say, pressing a kiss to Nyx’s temple. 
As if summoned, Azriel walked in, Rhys and Feyre in tow, signaling that their meeting was over. His eyes flitted to me, no doubt having heard what I had said. Lucien’s hand tightened on my hip.
Feyre’s eyes sparkled at the sight of her son and Rhys eyes sparkled at the sight of Feyre taking their babe from my arms. I reluctantly gave Nyx back, already missing being able to pretend he was my own. 
“He was a little angel,” I report to Feyre.
“If by angel you mean hellion,” Lucien chuckles behind me. 
“I would expect nothing less from a child raised by this family,” Rhys laughed, wrapping one arm around Feyre and brushing a hand against his son’s cherub cheeks. 
A silence rolled over the room as we all watched the little family reunite. I couldn’t help but flit my eyes to Azriel, who looked at them with a grin and a longing in his eyes. His eyes find me and I don’t dare look away. 
“Can we talk?” Azriel asked timidly, taking a step away from the doorway he leaned against. Feyre and Rhys take out of the room, no doubt feeling the change in the atmosphere.  
I searched his eyes for a hint of aggression but all I found was remorse, “Yes we may,” I say quietly.
Lucien releases his grip on my hip as I follow Azriel into Rhysand’s study and close the door behind me with a resolute click signaling that I was locked in here with him. Az takes up residence by Rhys’ desk, leaning against it like some sort of tortured man. I couldn’t help but notice he was still in his fighting leathers, his wings tucked in tight and his knuckles perched over his lips, like he was contemplating what to say. Even now, when he was at his most vulnerable, he was so beautiful. 
“I’m sorry for the way I acted last night. I yelled at you and I shouldn’t have,” he says fidgeting a bit. “Its just… it’s just that I was so pissed when I found him with his hands all over you and you just seemed so happy.” 
He sighs running a hand through his hair staring at the ground, still unable to meet my eyes. 
“I think that’s what bothered me the most,” he continues. “You seemed…happy.”
“You were upset because I was happy?” I scoff furrowing my brows at him, the fucking gall of this male. 
“No, no! Gods y/n,” he corrects me, running his hands down his face clearly upset with himself. “I think I was upset because I wasn’t the one making you happy.” he finally says and I can hear the vulnerability in his voice. 
I’m completely taken back by his words, at the fact that he admitted that he wanted to be the one to make me happy like that. The way Lucien did. It didn’t make any sense, given the fact that he never showed me in the last 400 years. 
“That’s funny coming from a male who’s been complaining to me about the females he’s been in love with for the past 400 years.” I deadpan, crossing my arms. 
“Is that how long you’ve known? 400 years?” he asked me, voice rising a bit. 
I nod, “I knew the night you danced with me on solistance in the Hewn City all those years ago,” I confess. 
“Fuck y/n,” he groans running his hands down his face. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 
“Because you started panting after Mor and the second you gave up on her in walked Elain!” I shouted, it was the most obvious thing ever as to why I didn’t tell him. 
“You had to know that you were first,” he says, snapping his head up to meet mine, pleading in those hazel eyes. 
I gave him a blank stare not knowing what he was talking about. 
“Please tell me you know you were the first, before Mor, before Elain, I was practically on my knees for you,” he confessed. 
Once again I’m left speechless. Could it be true? That he had wanted me before I even knew about the bond? 
I shook my head, even if it was true he was speaking in past tense. I didn’t want him to be my mate because he felt like he had to be, I wanted him to love me, truly love me. I wanted him to choose me.
“I had no idea,” I admit feeling a bit of shame. “But that doesn’t matter anymore, it’s all in the past. I’m not mad at you Azriel.” 
“Thank the cauldron,” he breathes, crossing the room to cup my face.
I place my  hands on his wrists and pull them away from me, “Az I think that you should be with Elain,” I say, stepping back from him. 
“What? No.” he shakes his head and I take another step back.
“You clearly love her and she loves you, the cauldron made a mistake by making us mates, it's as simple as that,” I say trying to hide my tears.
I loved Az, a part of me always would, but I wouldn’t be his consolation prize just because the cauldron fucked up and made me his mate instead of Elain. I couldn’t live with that. 
“No don’t say that, please don’t say that,” Az pleads, his voice softening. 
“I’m sorry Azriel but I won’t be your consolation prize,” I say before grabbing the door handle and walking out into the living room where Lucien was. 
Azriel goes to say more until he hears the hitch in my breath. There, before me, Lucien is tucking a stray hair out of Elain’s face and placing a kiss on her knuckles. A sweet gesture, one I’ve probably read about a thousand times in my romance novels. Lucien’s eyes flit to mine, and I can honestly say I’ve never seen him so happy. 
“We’re going to give it a shot,” he smiles happily, putting an arm around Elain. 
“Really?” I ask looking to Elain who smiles brightly. 
“Yeah we are,” she says smiling up at Lucien. 
“Oh I’m so happy for you two,” I cheer before engulfing them both in a hug. 
“Congrats you guys,” Azriel mutters from behind me, seemingly abandoning whatever he was going to say to me in favor of praising his friends. 
Lucien chuckles at my excitement, “Don’t get too excited, we’re going to have to move my stuff out of your place today, I think it’s time I move back into the townhouse,” he smiled. 
“Well what are we waiting for? Let’s get started!” I cheer, grabbing his hands to winnow us away. 
In reality I wasn’t excited about the idea of moving, and much less excited about the idea of my little townhouse being empty again. But I needed to get away from Azriel. 
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One week later:
After the all day affair of moving Lucien’s accumulated stuff out of my house and in the townhouse I was back to loving alone. Which at first wasn’t terrible. I was content to read my book and cook for myself when necessary. But after about a week I began to miss the food Lucien would make, or having someone to lie next to. It was a strange feeling, it felt like a breakup, but I wasn’t sad. I missed having another heartbeat in the house, not Lucien himself. 
After a week of getting my affairs in order my brother finally asked me for some help and I was thankful for the distraction. All week I had been in my own head about all that had happened, with Lu and Elain, with me and Az. I needed a break to think of something else. 
That’s how I found myself slipping on an old day court dress and getting ready to winnow to see Helion, an old friend of mine. I was leaving the house and locking the door when I ran smack into a large chest I screamed being taken off guard. 
“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” a familiar voice apologized, I turn to find Azriel standing before me. 
“It’s okay, I should’ve been paying more attention,” I chuckle awkwardly. I hadn’t heard from the spymaster in a week, why would he come to talk to me now?    
Azriel’s eyes furrow from where they tower over me, “Why are you dressed for the Day Court?” he inquires. 
“Oh well,” I look down at the swaths of white fabric that cascaded down my body, suddenly feeling a bit exposed from off the shoulder dress. “Rhys wants me to go and schmooze Helion a little bit. Something about wanting to get him to agree to better trade deals.” I laugh remembering how my brother agonized over it the other day. 
“So he wants you to go and flirt with Helion?” Az cocks an eyebrow at me. 
“Well Helion and I go way back, and he’s always been…well keen on me.” I say honestly and I watch as Az bristles just a bit. I can’t even count the number of times the High Lord as tired to get Cassian and I in his bed
“I’ll give Rhys one thing he sure is ruthless,” Azriel chuckles trying to play off his nerves. 
“Is there something I can do for you?” I ask, still wondering why he’s here, at my doorstep. 
“Oh uh, no,” Azriel stutters. “Well actually I was walking by and I saw this and I thought of you.” he says pulling out a white rose. It looked like he had plucked it right off the bush down the street. “I thought you should have it.” he finished. 
I take the rose from his hand and notice that the thorns have all been cut off. I eye Truth Teller strapped at his side and the lingering thorn that was still stuck on its sharp blade. 
“That was very thoughtful of you Az thank you,” I tell him sweetly, taken back by his gesture. 
“You’re welcome,” he says, seemingly relaxing at my acceptance of his gift. 
I check my watch, “Well I really do have to go, Helion is waiting for me,” I wince moving past him on the stairs so I can get past the words my brother has on my place. 
“Yes of course,” Az says following me down the steps and out the wrought iron fence. “Do you need a ride?” 
“I’m okay, I can winnow,” I chuckle, closing the gate behind me. 
“Well I guess I’ll see you later then,” Azriel voices with a hint of a sigh. 
“Yeah I’m sure you will,” I reply before winnowing into Helion’s mansion. 
How could Az be so calm about all this? It was like he was trying to force himself to have feelings for me, figuring he better learn to love me now that he’s shackled to me for eternity. Part of me wondered if Rhys had given him a firm talking to and convinced him to attempt to like me.
“There she is,” Helion mused from the top of the stairs coming down the stairs dressed in his usual attire. Part of me hated that I found him attractive, in another life, if he wasn’t so promiscuous, I might’ve seen myself standing by his side. 
“Helion,” I smile, pulling him in for a hug. 
When we pull away his hands linger at my waist and his eyes look at the rose in my hand. “What’s this?” he asks plucking the rose from my hand. 
I think about the encounter with Azriel, how forced it all felt.
“It’s nothing,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders. 
Helion tosses the flower aside before throwing his arm over my shoulder and leading me inside, “So, your brother has sent you to convince me to agree to his new trade agreements.” he smirks.
“He’s done nothing of the sort, I came to visit an old friend of my own accord,” I tease, knowing Helion isn’t as daft as Rhys makes him out to be. 
“We’ll see about that new treaty after some wine, and tell your brother that next time he wants to use you against me as leverage he should just send you naked,” Helion chuckles. 
I erupt in laughter, slapping his arm as he leads us to a white couch with a bottle of wine sitting on the coffee table. 
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Three days later after successfully getting Helion to agree to a new trade treaty I found myself sitting in my living room with a glass of wine enjoying the fruits of my labors. As soon as I told Rhys about the High Lord of Day’s cooperation he sent me one of his finest bottles of wine as a thank you. Not that I required any thanks, I enjoyed spending time with Helion. 
My silence was interrupted by my door opening and closing. I just about jumped out of my skin, the only one who had the key to the place was Lucien and he had given it back a long time ago. My heart pounded as I stood from the couch in my nightgown and robe. I had turned in for the night and certainly wasn’t expecting visitors. I lift my romance novel over my head and step around he couch ready to swing when I see Azriel locking the door behind him quietly. 
“Azriel you scared the hell out of me,” I sigh, lowering the book. 
He turns from the door looking me up and down taking in my casual attire hungrily. “I’m sorry I guess I’m just used to walking right in, I wanted to give you these,” he says holding out a large bouquet of white roses, exactly like the kind he gave me the other day.”
“Thank you Az, they’re beautiful,” I say wearily, taking them from his scarred hands. “I’ll uh- I’ll just put them in water,” I tell him, padding into the kitchen to grab a vase and fill it. 
“I thought since you liked the other one I gave you that you might like those ones too,” he says walking into the kitchen and leaning in my doorway. 
I place the two dozen roses in a vase,“Well I appreciate them, it’s been a while since I’ve had fresh flowers in the house,” I divulge to him, remembering how Lucien used to bring them home all the time. He would always ask for Elain to make him a bouquet, his little way of speaking to her in a way that didn’t make her uncomfortable. The thought had me thinking of how Lucien and Elain were probably sitting at a nice dinner right now, had me questioning why the fuck Azriel was here. 
A silence fills the room as Azriel sits admiring either me or the flowers, from where I’m standing it could be either or. I walk around the kitchen island to test the theory and sure enough his eyes follow me as I lean my back against the side closer to him.  A wave of embarrassment slips over me. Did Rhys ask him to bring more flowers again? Was I really that pathetic? 
“Az why are you doing this?” I ask, gesturing to the flowers behind me. 
Azriel straightens taking a tentative step towards me, “Because I want what Elain and Lucien have. I want you to give me a chance to be a good mate,” he says softly. 
I look to the wooden floors below me, my bare feet messing with a loose floorboard, “You don’t have to do this Azriel. If Rhys sent you I’ll just cover for you and say you came.” I say not daring to look at him. 
“I’m not here because of Rhys, I’m here because I want to see you,” he implored and I heard his feet shuffle closer. 
“I’m still not your consolation prize just because Lucien and Elain are doing well. I won’t do that to myself,” I say, continuing to mess with the loose floorboard. 
“You’re not my consolation prize y/n, you’re my mate.” Azriel states, his voice becoming more urgent causing me to tighten my arms around myself ever so slightly. 
His boots come into my line of sight and suddenly he’s titling my chin up to meet his pleading gaze. I’m suddenly all too aware of how underdressed I was. There was a time when I would’ve killed for this. But now? I won’t let myself be hurt again.
“Y/n please-” 
“Azriel I’m at peace,” I snap, cutting him off and looking down at our feet once again even though his hand still rested under my chin. “For the first time in 400 years I’m at peace. I have loved, and pined, and thrown myself at your feet for 400 years, and I am finally happy in my exile. So forgive me if I’m hesitant to give that up so quickly because you all of the sudden want a mate.” I bit out.
His shadows dance around my hands and I move my fingers out of their grasp, like their cold kiss was burning me.I wait for him to say something back, for him to breathe wrong, yell at me or leave but he doesn’t move. I let my eyes flit up to his, and I find him staring down at me, like he’s been waiting for me to look at him this whole time. 
“I’m not going to give up,” he states, if he was sad or upset by my previous words he doesn’t show it. 
I sigh, tossing my head back, “Az please,” I beg. 
“No I’m serious, I’m not giving up on you, on us,” he maintained steadfastly, his hands not leaving my cheek as he steps even closer to me and my back hits the cool granite behind me. 
“Azriel I think you should go,” I grit out, the second my body stiffens under his he steps back giving me my space. 
“Alright I’ll go,” he says, taking a step back.
I follow him to the door and hold it open as he steps out into the cool night air that has me wrapping my silk robe around me tighter, as if it was helping anything anyways. 
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he assures me before shooting off into the sky. 
“I really wish you wouldn’t!” I shout into the air after him before slamming the door and locking it. 
I take a deep breath once I’m seated on my couch again, trying to salvage any sort of peace I might still have. But that tranquility was disappearing in my hands the more I chased it. 
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The following day I head to Rhys’ house to talk over the new adjustments in the Day Court trade agreements. It was supposed to be easy enough, but as things got more and more complex it ended up being an all day thing. By the time I walked up the steps to my own townhouse I was exhausted and starving. I wasn’t looking forward to bread for dinner as I had no time to go to the market today. 
I kicked open the door and locked it behind me, the smell of fresh tomatoes and basil wafted through the air causing me to pause in my tracks. Was Lucien here? Had him and Elain gotten in a fight or something?
“Ah shit!” I heard a male cuss followed by the searing of liquid on a burner. 
I curiously walk around the corner of the kitchen where I’m greeted with the sight of Azriel, standing in my apron, reading my cookbook and stirring some sort of sauce. His shadows were helping him turn the pages of the book. I see the spilled sauce on the burner that was the cause of his profanity just moments ago. 
“There you are,” he smirked, his eyes flitting up to mine before reading the book again. 
“Az what are you doing here?” I ask, setting my bag down on the table. 
“Making you dinner,” he said, gesturing to the numerous used pans and utensils lying around my once clean kitchen. 
I walk over to inspect what he’s cooking. Fresh herb crusted chicken cooks in the pan next to him while he stirs a red sauce. In the sink is cooked pasta sitting next to freshly sauteed green beans. I inhale the smell of the food deeply and I can’t help but feel myself salivate a little, it smells delicious. 
“You always dog ear the recipes you want to try but you never make them for fear of not liking them,” he says nonchalantly as he prods at the chicken. 
I look down at the cookbook he’s reading, sure enough the recipe he’s making has a bent corner. I had been itching to try it but had never found the time. 
“If you end up not liking it there’s take out from Rita’s in the ice box,” he said using the spoon to point to the ice box in the corner of the room.
I look up to fully inspect him. This all feels like a ridiculous practical joke. If someone had told me that my spymaster would be cooking me dinner I would’ve laughed in their face. Upon further inspection I realize he’s shirtless, save for my apron he’s wearing. 
“Was the half nudity necessary?” I cock an eyebrow leaning against the counter. 
Azriel barked out a laugh, “It took me a while to find the apron, I had gotten tomato juice on my shirt when I started chopping them up for the sauce so I took it off and washed it,” he explained the corner of his mouth turning up in a smirk. “Plus I figured the whole shirtless bit might win me more brownie points with you.” 
I rolled my eyes at his cockiness, I didn’t dare let him know how right he was. 
He laughed at my reaction, “Why don’t you go sit down, dinner’s almost ready.” he said gesturing to the couch. 
I shrugged my shoulders and padded my way over to my favorite reading spot. The one he found me in yesterday. I plop down on the velvet sofa and there in front of me on the coffee table, my book has been left open to the place I bookmarked and a glass of wine sits for me. I raise an eyebrow but decide to just roll with it, I pick up the book and sip on the wine, becoming engrossed with the story.
A few minutes later I feel the cold begin to bite at my toes. I look around for a blanket and see that the nearest one is across the room. I curse at the idea of having to move, but before I can even set my book down one of Azriel’s shadows is scurrying across the room to retrieve the knitted blanket for me. The wisp of darkness arranges the blanket neatly over my legs, tucking me in like a mother would her child.  I can’t help but laugh at the care the little thing is putting into the job. 
Azriel’s shadows looking out for me was nothing new, the second the bond clicked for me they tended to stay near me. Picking up pens and silverware I dropped on the floor and always twirling around my hair and wrists. There were even times they would try to drag Az near me, like on starfall and solstice, nights I looked especially beautiful. But he would always curse and wave them off until they left him alone. 
The little shadow perched itself on my shoulder as if it too wanted to read my book. I could sense it was trying to anticipate any other small need I might have. 
“You know he might be insufferable but you guys are pretty great,” I laugh looking at the curious being. 
In response the shadow boops itself on my nose as if it was giving me a kiss. 
“Don’t tell them that or they’ll get a big head,” Azriel murmurs behind me where he’s leaning against the doorway between the living room and the kitchen, still shirtless and wearing that damned apron.
“In that case I’ll be sure to praise them more often, they’re little angels,” I smile as the tendril of darkness dances around my collar. 
Azriel lets out a small chuckle behind me, “Dinner is ready,” he tells me before disappearing into the kitchen once more. 
I follow him as the small shadow frantically pulls at my wrist towards the table, as if it’s eager for me to see what it helped its master cook. When I walk into the darkened kitchen and find that Az has set the table not only with our dinner but with candles and another bouquet. This time it’s an arrangement of jasmine, no doubt from the florist down the street. 
I sit down and inhale the heavenly scent of the white flowers and hum in delight. Azriel comes in with a bottle of wine and two glasses, pouring us each a bit. He sees me admiring the flowers and smiles. 
“Jasmine, like your perfume,” he says, putting down the bottle and taking his seat next to me. 
I smile and look down at the plate before me. It looks delicious, the pasta is fragrant with basil, the chicken is cooked to perfection and the green beans are vibrant and green. I lift my fork and dig into the past first. The moment it hits my tongue the flavor melts in my mouth, rich, bold and oh so savory. I let out a moan as my eyes flit to Azriel who is watching me expectantly wondering if I’m going to like it or not. 
“This is incredible,” I say, covering my mouth with my hand so he doesn’t see me chewing. 
“Thank the cauldron I thought I put too much red pepper in,” he breathes out, seemingly relaxing before digging into his own plate. 
“No it’s perfect, thank you really,” I say earnestly. 
“You’re welcome,” he smiled, taking a bite of chicken.
We sit and eat our meals in silence simply enjoying the good food. A little shadow flitted up in front of my face to gauge my reaction to the bite of chicken I was chewing. I couldn’t help but laugh as it shifted like it was cocking its head at me. 
“Yes it’s very good, you did a wonderful job,” I laugh at the little fella. 
My giggle brings Azriel’s attention to me once again and before I know it he’s waving his hand at the little tendril like he’s swatting a fly. 
“Hey go away let her eat for the love of god,” he chastises as the shadow slinks back behind him. 
“Don’t worry it wasn’t bothering me,” I laugh taking another bite of green beans. 
“Yeah well they haven’t been listening lately,” he says looking back at the little shadow that had slinked behind his shoulder like a reprimanded child. 
I shake my head at the two of them interacting and take another sip of wine. To be honest I wasn;t really sure what to say to Azriel. Despite his valiant efforts to win me I still wasn’t ready to abandon the peace I had grown so fond of. 
“You know it’s funny,” he tells me, playing with the food on his plate. “I feel like my shadows have always liked you. It was like they knew before I did,” he laughed nervously at his confession. 
“Maybe so,” I shrug, not wanting to broach the subject, the friendlier we could make this the better.
“I can remember times when they would drag me into any room that had you in it. Most of the time I control them, but when it comes to you? They control me.” he laughs while taking a sip of his wine. 
“Thank you again for dinner,” I say, forcibly changing the topic of conversation. “It’s been a while since I had a home cooked meal. I think the local restaurants have my to-go orders memorized now.” I laugh. 
“Lucein used to cook for you didn’t he?” Azriel asks, and I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my head as I play with the pasta on my plate. 
“Yeah he did, he was a surprisingly good cook too,” I say, recalling the traditional Autumn Court meals he would cook all the time. They were mostly for him, for when he was feeling nostalgic, but he always left some for me as well. 
Azriel sits for a moment as if debating whether or not to say something for a moment. “Did you love him?” he asks. 
My fork clatters to the plate at the abrupt question and I’ve never felt so put on the spot. It was never something I had thought about in regards to the autumn court male. Love seemed like an emotion  that would be reserved for Azriel and Azriel alone, until one day it wasn’t. I didn’t love Lucien, but I certainly stopped loving Az in that way, or at least I think I did.
“No I didn’t” I say honestly turning to meet the shadowsingers gaze. “Lucien and I… it was never like that. We both knew what we needed for each other, it started as just sex. But then he would stay the night, and then we started going to breakfast. His shirts started showing up in the laundry hamper, his books on the coffee table. Eventually I just gave him a key, it seemed like the logical thing to do. We didn’t even label our relationship until he asked me to marry him.” 
“I wasn’t sure,” Azriel said, going back to shyly staring down at the table. “I overheard your conversation that one day. When you asked him about the possibility of having children. You said that you always pictured your children having wings, was that true?” he inquired. 
I nod shallowly, unable to trust my own words in such a raw moment. 
If Az had any other questions he didn’t ask them or press me to talk about the two of us, it was as if he was happy with the answers I did give him. He was perfectly content to let me finish eating my meal in comfortable silence. When I was finished he cleared the table and didn’t let me lift a finger to help clean. Instead those pesky shadows cornered me into reading my book once more. 
It wasn’t until a few minutes later that he came in, dressed in his shirt once more to bid me goodnight. He insisted that I stay in my comfortable spot by the couch as he walked himself out locking the door behind him. As the comfortable silence, which I had grown so used to, ensued, I found myself silently wishing he had stayed just a little longer.
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The following weeks were spent with little visits from shadows and shadowsingers. Sometimes it would be Azriel showing up at my door with coffee or gifts. Other times, when Rhys had Azriel on missions he would find ways to leave things at my doorstep. The first time it was another bouquet of flowers and then chocolates. 
My favorite gift from Azriel had been the books. The first set he got me was the second and third book in my series. They appeared at my door the morning after he made me dinner with a note that read…
I noticed that you were almost done with your book last night so I went out to get you the second book. I noticed it was a short book so I got you the third in case you finished it in one day like you no doubt will. 
-Azriel
Of course he was right and I finished the second book by the end of the day. When I opened the third, and much longer book, to begin reading it a bookmark fell out and another note. 
I figured you might need a bookmark for this one.
-Azriel
He was right about that as well. 
The next book to be delivered was a classic romance with certain pages, and quotes underlined. His notes scribbled in the margins. Clearly he had taken the time to read the novel himself. When I saw the first annotation I expected his further notes to be corny or cheesy, but each one was well thought out. 
The most recent literally delivery was a small and short book about different types of flowers. Between each of the pages sat a live flower that corresponded with the page. It was possibly the most vibrant and beautiful bouquet I had ever seen and by far my favorite floral gift I had received. 
This week though things had been different. As the colder months were drifting in I started spending more time inside, reading by the fire. But not once had Azriel stopped by. Not a present, not a note to be found. When I subtly asked Rhys were the shadowsinger was he told me he was in the isle of Hybern. 
A week had come and gone without so much as a tendril of a shadow to be seen. I sat infront of my roaring fire with a book in hand trying to escape the bitter cold. Outside the first snowfall of the year had taken the form of a blizzard. I pitied the shopkeepers that would have to walk home in it. 
Around midnight I heard the scraping of metal against stone from outside my house. I jumped out of my skin and quickly looked at the clock noting the late hour. I set down my novel to wrap myself in a blanket and pad over to the front door. I could already hear the winds outside and feel the cold air seeping in through the cracks in the door. 
I open the door to investigate the strange sound and I nearly gasp when I find Azriel outside my house shoveling my walkway with a small shovel from my garden. One meant for digging out plants and trees, not snow. 
“Az what are you doing?” I ask, making the spymaster jump a bit. 
“I’m shoveling your walkway. I didn’t want you to slip tomorrow morning or hurt your back trying to shovel it yourself,” he said, digging into the snow again with the little metal shovel. 
“Oh Az you don’t have to do that,” I coo walking out into the cold pulling my blanket tighter. 
“I don’t have to but I want to,” he said shoveling more snow. “It wouldn’t take so long if I had a bigger shovel.” he grunts, frustrated.
“Well why didn’t you take Rhys’ shovel?” I laughed watching as the overgrown Illyrain tried to mangle the tiny thing. 
“Well I just got back from Hybern, I saw it had snowed and I came here first.” he explained and my heart swelled. He had come to my place first before he even went home. “I figured if I didn’t do it you would fall and break your head open.” 
“Azriel, really you don’t have to do this, I can handle it,” I plead with him feeling bad that he’s subjected himself to the weather. 
He stops his shoveling and turns to look at me, “y/n I want to do this. Don’t worry about it.” he says before looking me up in down seeing that I’m in nothing but a short nightgown and a blanket. “Now go inside before you catch a cold.” 
“Me? What about you?” I laugh looking around at the snow falling around us. 
“I’m Illyrian the snow doesn’t bother me,” he retorts and I can tell that he’s lying by the pink in his cheeks from the cold.
“Well I’m half Illyrian,” I counter, swinging back and forth on my heels. 
“Then I’m sure half of you is really cold,” he rebuttals. “Now go back inside and get warm before I carry you inside myself.” he smirks before shoveling up another heap of snow. 
I just shake my head and retreat to the warm fireplace awaiting me. 
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I waltz into the House of Wind  where the Solstice party is in full swing. Lords from neighboring courts are chatting and drinking all around and from the corner of the room I can hear Cassian’s booming laugher as he doubles over at something Helion has said. 
Like almost every solstice party I arrive fashionably late. I truly never mean to be the last to arrive, but it feels like the whole guest list decides to arrive early just to spite me. I make my way around the area where couples and children are dancing to a small quartet and head toward the bar. My dress billows behind me like liquid starlight. Just like every solstice party before this one, I will get by with copious amounts of wine. 
I lean against the bar and watch as Elain and Lucien laugh and giggle across the room. I smile as Elain pops a pastry into Lu’s mouth and I can’t help but feel a warmness in my chest at the two of them. Lucien was finally happy with his mate, and if there was ever someone who deserved such happiness it was him. 
My thoughts are interrupted by a shadowy friend making its presence known. Flying up by my face to say hello and then rushing behind me as if it was called. I turn to see Azriel dressed immaculately staring at me. His eyes flit up and down my body taking in every detail of me.
“You look…” He trails off, shaking his head, as if the words he was going to say wouldn’t be the right ones. “There are no words. Even the poets would get it wrong.”
I can’t help but blush at his choice of words, taking a step toward him as the shadows behind me are pushing me to do so. 
“You clean up pretty good yourself, spymaster,” I chuckle giving him a once over.
He blushes and then speaks again, “I mean it, you look beautiful tonight y/n.” 
I blush again and turn my head to avoid his gaze, like that shade of hazel might burn me from the inside out if I look too long.
“You must allow me to dance with you,” he says, taking both our drinks and placing them on the bar. “Not having you out on that dance floor would be a disservice to everyone here.”
I laugh taking his outstretched hand and allowing him to lead me to the dancefloor, “Alright Az you’ve convinced me, but only because I know you won’t step on my feet,” 
We fall into a comfortable motion, swaying back and forth to the slow tempoed song the quartet is playing. The couples around us filter around us, some lost in deep conversation, some embraced closely swaying to the song. I keep my eyes on them, knowing that Azriel’s gaze is on me. 
Memories of a solstice much like this one float through my mind. The way my feet ached before Azriel saved me, sweeping me up into a dance. The way the bond felt when it snapped into place for me. I had pulled on it so desperately hoping he might feel it too. I thought of all the years of agony that followed that night. Watching Az fall for Mor and later on Elain. Hearing my brother and Cassian talking about Azriel’s exploits in bedding local women. All of it tore me apart and it took over 200 years to rebuild the part of me that I had lost. I wondered if I would ever be whole like that again. 
I hear Elain and Lucien’s laughter once more, the sound breaking me from my thoughts as Azriel and I continue to sway to the music. 
“They make a great couple,” Azriel’s deep voice rumbles through me. 
I smile watching Lucine place a kiss to his mates lips, “They really do,” I say with a lightness to my voice. 
“Do you think we’ll ever be like that?” He asks tentatively and my world comes crashing down. 
“Az,” I say and his face falls at the dismissal in my tone. 
“Why not y/n? Why can’t we have a shot like they can?” Azriel says starting to get upset.
As if on queue the song that the quartet is playing ends and I hear the musicians flipping through their sheet music to find the next song. I pull my hands out of Azriel’s and take a few steps back.
“I think it’s time for me to go,” I say calmly, trying not to let the damn of tears break. I swiftly move past him towards the door. 
“Y/n wait!” I hear him call out behind me but I’m already out the door, my tears falling down my face as I make my way back to that empty townhouse in the middle of the city. 
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The rain outside my house slams into the window violently. Spring has come early in Velaris and I wasn’t exactly upset about it. At least I wasn’t until this torrential downpour blew into town. I hadn’t seen rain like this in the Night Court for at least a hundred years now.
It’s been weeks since solstice and it seems that Azriel has finally taken the hint and left me alone. I hadn’t heard a peep from him since that dance. Not a flower, chocolate or shadow to be seen and while I should be happy about it I had never been sadder. After all the walls I put up trying to keep my peace it seemed that he had succeeded in breaking them down again. 
I sat by the fire staring down at the dancing flames, no book, not even a glass of wine or tea. Just me and my all consuming thoughts. Each one of them led back to hazel eyes and blue siphons. 
I jump at the sound of a fist pounding on my door. Pulling my sweater tighter to cover up my nightgown I walk over to investigate who would have the guts to stand out in this monsoon at this hour. When I open the door I find Azriel bracing his arms against the doorframe, out of breath like he ran here. His hair soaking wet and sticking to his brow as the rain pelted him. 
“Az?” I shout over the sound of rain. 
“I can’t go on like this any longer y/n, I won’t do it!” he shouts over the storm. 
“Az it’s pouring what are you-” 
“I love you y/n!” he shouts stopping me mid sentence. “From the moment I met you I knew. I wanted so badly to put my hands around your waist and kiss you. And if you’re wondering why that seems like such an adolescent dream it’s because that’s what we both were. I was 117 years old and  you were 115 and that’s all I wanted. I knew little of love, even less of lust. All I knew was that I wanted to kiss you,” he hollers over the sound of rain wiping the water from his eyes.
“I’ve made mistakes, and I’ve hurt you, but I swear to you I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, because I love you. And I don’t care that you don’t love me too, because I love you y/n. I choose to love you!” he finishes and I can’t tell if it's rain falling from his eyes or tears that match my own. 
I choose to love you.
I take a shaky breath and take in the sheer desperation on his face, “I love you too Azriel,” I laugh feeling another tear slip down my cheek. 
He doesn’t waste a moment, stepping through my threshold and cupping my cheek to place a searing kiss on my lips. I melt into him, feeling his clothes soaking my own as my nightgown clings to my skin. His hands are on my waist, scarred and cold from the elements but still so intoxicating. My arms wrap around him pulling him further into the entryway. I hear him slam the door shut with his boot drowning out the sound of rain leaving only the music of our ragged breaths as he kisses me deeper. 
He pulls away to press his forehead to mine, his wet hair and skin causing drops of water to cascade down my own face. 
“I love you so much,” he breathes cupping my cheek to press a chaste kiss to my lips. “My mate.”
I pull him in deeper at the utterance of those two little words. I had waited 400 years for this male to kiss me, and this kiss right here? Well it made everything all the more worth it. 
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Epilogue: 5 years later
I stand outside on the lawn of the townhouse. My arms clutching around the sweater I’m wearing as the fresh spring air blows over my skin. My hands drift lower to the small bump of my stomach. 
I was only a few months pregnant and barely starting to show. Elain had told me that it would be a girl claiming she had seen it in a vision. I couldn’t have been more excited for Azriel to be a girl dad. 
“You’re doing it son!” I hear my mate call from the sky where he teaches our son to fly. 
“Dad, I'm flying!” the onyx haired child shouted as he flapped his wings to pick up some speed.
At first I was apprehensive of him learning to fly so early, even though it had always been a dream of mine to watch my children learn to fly. But Azriel had assured me that the youngster was more than ready, and after a few weeks of lessons here he was taking to the air like a natural. 
I look around at the townhouse behind me. It had seen some significant changes since the night Azriel stood in the rain and told me he loved me. The front yard was littered with toy swords and shields, and the outside had a fresh coat of paint. The inside had a room addition, a room for our son, Kai, and now we're adding another room for our daughter. All paid for by Rhys of course who was more than happy to give his nephew and niece everything under the sun.
My thoughts are interrupted by Azriel slamming into the ground before me. I turn to see him walking over to me with a smile on his face. 
“Az shouldn’t you be up there with him?!” I fuss looking to where our son swoops and dives through the air. 
Azriel laughs and picks me up bridal style, pressing a kiss to my lips. 
“It didn’t feel right being up there without my girls,” he smiled nodding to my bump. 
Without warning he took off into the sky meeting Kai up there. We must’ve spent hours flying around the city, stopping by every uncle and aunt's house to show them Kai’s new skill. Everything was perfect, and for the first time in my whole life, I finally knew peace.
(Do you guys want a smutty bonus chapter of what they did after he confessed his love???)
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bitchinbarzal · 3 months
Text
Runaway Groom | N Hischier
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summary: Nico’s getting married and he thinks he’s got the wrong bride.
-
“He wants you there schatzi” Katya mumbled, sipping her coffee across from you.
You shook your head “Yes but she doesn’t… I’m ok just seeing the pictures after”
You watched her eyes drop and her mouth pull into a tight line “Y/N, we thought it would be you”
Your stomach sinks and you smile softly “Yeah… but it’s not and I’m ok with that. I want Nico to be happy”
His mom wanted to reply, tell you he’d be happy with you. That his smile isn’t as wide with her as it is with you.
But she didn’t. She just squeezed your hand.
Their wedding is all anyone was talking about the week before; the welcome drinks, the rehearsal dinner, the church, the party.
You were tired of hearing about them. They could go back to New Jersey now for your liking.
The night of the rehearsal dinner had you getting ready for the gym when your front door opened and you heard the familiar voice shouting
“Hallo?”
“Timo?” You yelled back, puzzled
“I’m here to pick you up!”
Your head pokes out of your bedroom “for what? Why are you wearing a suit?”
He looks puzzled “Nico and Rosie’s welcome dinner?”
You laughed “I’m not going to that”
“Why not?”
“Because i don’t want to? I’m sorry did everyone just forget that me and Nico are ex’s?”
Timo rolls his eyes, entering your bedroom and beginning to rake through your wardrobe, pulling out a dress.
You stumbled for a moment seeing it again, the dress you wore to Nico’s captain’s dinner. The team had thrown him a fancy dinner in the city to celebrate him becoming captain and you wore that red dress.
“Put this on, you’ve got five minutes” he informed, shoving the dress into your hands and walking out.
Before you walked out the house you looked at yourself in the mirror and huffed “It’s only two hours… two hours you got this!”
Nico’s family were elated to see you walk in the door, diverting their attention all to you.
You didn’t see him but Nico also diverted his attention to you, his grip on his soon to be wife’s hand slipping as he spotted you in that dress.
The last time he saw that dress it was on the floor of your bedroom.
Your eyes scanned the room, finally falling on him. You gave him a soft smile and he reciprocated until he noticed your hand placed firmly in Timo’s.
There was nothing there but he couldn’t help but feel his gut twist. He was getting married and thinking about you.
Throughout the night you were stopped by various teammates and their partners all expressing just how much they missed you.
“I always thought this would be you” Klara, Jonas’ wife comments and you can only give a tight smile
“Rosie is lovely, no?”
“She doesn’t know him like you… he’s not the same”
“Nico decided I wasn’t what he wanted” is all you could say before venturing off somewhere else.
You wanted to go home. You were tired of hearing about how it should be you.
That night when you arrived home, you checked your phone which you’d subsequently left on the nightstand after being rushed out the house.
Only one notification stood out. A text from Nico.
it meant a lot to see you tonight, take care of yourself schatzi.
Your thumb hovered over the text pad, considering a reply. You stared at the words so long you didn’t notice the tears starting to gather in your eyes.
“Fuck, Neeks” you cursed, throwing your phone onto the bed and gripping at your hair in frustration before you picked the phone back up again and dialled his number.
“Hel-“
“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare call me names, I’m not yours anymore Nico! You remember? You broke up with me!” You sobbed, so angry and frustrated. You were overwhelmed.
“Schatzi… don’t cry”
“Nico” you mumbled, the exhausted tone of your voice evident on your words.
He sighs “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have text you… it was a lot to see you tonight”
You scrunched your eyes closed in an attempt to stop the tears falling.
“Will you be at the wedding tomorrow?” He mumbles, somewhat hopeful.
You paused, silent so much so he asked “Can you hear me?”
You nodded, not that he could see you “I can hear you Neeks”
“Neeks” you chuckled “It’s been so long since I heard that”
“I’m not coming, this is probably the last time we can ever speak again…”
Nico bit his lip on the other side of the phone, tears now in his waterline. The weight of this on his shoulders.
“I can’t lose you Y/N”
“You lost me the day you broke up with me… you don’t get the best of both worlds. Goodbye Nico, good luck at the wedding” you mumbled, pulling the phone away and hanging up.
You threw your head back and cried out a strangled cry “Fucking Hischier!”
The next morning you lay in bed, the longer you were in your bed the less you had to face the real world.
It wasn’t until twelve you rolled onto the side of your bed, where your phone was charging. Your notifications were crazy.
Multiple missed calls. Texts. Voicemails.
Before you could read them, Nina was calling you.
“Hello? Ni what’s going-“
“Where is Nico?!”
You frowned “at his wedding? Aren’t you-“
“He’s not here! They’re all panicking he’s just disappeared and we can’t find him” she cried out, you could hear other panicked voices in the background specifically Rosie’s
“I’ll call him” is all you said, hanging up and staring at your reflection in the black screen “Hischier… where are you?”
You had tried calling him with no answer, leaving multiple voicemails. You grabbed your keys to head out the door when you spotted him, sitting out on your porch.
You opened the door, making your way to the porch swing and sitting next to him. Nico didn’t speak, just looking out at the mountains.
Your head dropped to his shoulder “Neeks she’s waiting for you”
He sniffled “This was supposed to be us”
You nod, grabbing his hand in yours “But it’s not, it’s you and Rosie. Nico you gotta go back to her”
He finally looked at you, his eyes rimmed red “What if I don’t? What if I just stay here? Would you have me?”
You swallowed loudly “Nico, I love you so much and if you ever came to me before I’d say yes but you don’t want me you’re just confused”
He shook his head “I love you! I’m not confused… I want this, I want you! This, this house! This life!”
The house was bought by Nico, at your request your Switzerland home had to be in the countryside. He let you have it after the breakup.
The two of you were inches apart, tears streaming down both of your faces “Neeks…”
“Kiss me” he mumbled, holding the back of your head waiting for your move. You did. You leaned up to capture his lips in yours, his tongue slipped past your bottom lip into your mouth.
You moaned into the kiss before pulling away and pecking his lips once more “Hell of a last kiss”
“No, not a last kiss” he says and you look sadly
“Nico, let’s go…”
“Where?”
“To your wedding”
He wanted to argue, tell you he was going to stay but you looked at him with an expression that told him he didn’t get a say.
At the church you stood outside the doors, just enough time to spare. He’d got changed at your house, trying to fix his red and splotchy face as much as you could.
Outside the church entrance you stood hand in hand, Nico staring at you sadly “I don’t want to lose you”
You shook your head softly, leaning up on your tiptoes to kiss him softly and mumble
“You’ll always be mine even if I’m not yours”
He couldn’t answer before his family came out, shouting at him where he was. You smiled softly and whispered something about leaving before you turned around and walked away.
He watched you walk back to the car, watching you walk away from him for the last time.
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