#better adept.

[inkskinned]

it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.

i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.

it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.

#warm up #writeblr #i spent a lot of time picturing our future #how funny to think: in each version of our future #i was never myself #i was someone smarter kinder braver #better adept. #who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me #i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me #people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you. #it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy #the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself: #if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay. #for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing. #and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made #it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'. #a few days ago while i was doing something else #i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized . #you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly. #you said: you're doing this to manipulate me. #you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO #SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me. #i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness #you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.

[burntlikethesun]

can't stop thinking about poor Ruby having to improvise song lyrics to a great big goblin king and just coming up with 'it's good to meet you, good to greet you... good to say "how diddly deet you"'

#it's so much better than if she'd been just as adept at it as the doctor #doctor who #ruby sunday

[icarusbetide]

for some reason i had gotten the notion into my head that "madison was an asshole like everyone else but at least he wasn't that concerned with glory/image" only to learn that in his old age he became obsessed with self-editing his papers. every single one of those weirdos were absolutely crazy with huge egos and i cannot believe i forgot that. james madison, you will not slide past me any longer. i've got my eye on you.

#i think madison has gotten away with a lot because he was very prudent and adept. and quiet. #but really. if we break it down. he's just like the rest of them lmao #better at politics surely! #but i think i have vitriol left over from thomas jefferson to take a closer look at this man #james madison #amrev #amrev fandom

[petrichorful]

random tf2 thought but I am once again wishing we got that expiration date show even if just so that we could see more of the merc’s real personalities. Like that video of Spy’s Rally that ended up being cut from meet the spy - that shit is FIRE. And it really is in line with the comics and expiration date in portraying Spy as a sort of charismatic speaker/team leader who can in fact comprehend working in a group.

In the games we mainly see a very adrenaline-fueled, hostile side of the mercs where they’re just screaming at the enemy team in the middle of battle But like. Spy’s speeches are fire, y’know? I wanna see more team leader Spy. I wanna see more artist Scout. I wanna see more family-oriented Heavy. I wanna see more daddy issues Engineer. Gimme.

#also spy is a team player even in the game #like you actively need your teams help to distract the enemy in order to function as spy #people treat him as more of a loner than I think he actually is #you can be mysterious and still be extremely adept at socializing lmao #just because he thinks he’s better than everyone doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how to pretend he doesn’t #tf2 thoughts #tf2 #go watch spy’s rally it’s awesome #sorry people that have no idea why this is on their dash

[blur0se]

anyway here's the collection for the Loveybug AU

#loveybug au #I'm not super adept at ao3 so if anyone has any suggestion to make it better lmk

[salsflore]

health paranoia has come back to beat my ass . i need that old man here STAT

#he could concoct some adeptal potion thing that makes me chill the fuck out . i mean i guess lisa is better suited for that but #💭

[general-alatus-nemeseos]

"If you awake to a knife at your throat, if monsters dig their claws into you, if death comes knocking at your door, call out my name. Adeptus Xiao. I will be here when you call."

Rules:

This blog is an independent RP platform for Xiao and is not associated with Hoyoverse.

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Suggestive roleplay is permitted and may venture into NSFW territory, but it is imperative to use trigger warnings in the tags to ensure a safe and comfortable environment for all participants.

Mature themes such as abuse, violence, and trauma may be explored within the RP narrative. Additionally, Xiao's character may partake in alcohol consumption and use profanity as deemed necessary for storytelling.

Hatred or discrimination towards any communities will not be tolerated.

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Tags:

;; Evil conquering - Xiao's duties and troubles

;; startstruck - Interactions with @viatrixtravels

;; ooc tofu - out of character posts

;; you called? - general interactions

;; promised guardian - interactions with or about Zhongli

;; adeptal arts - Interactions with or about Adepti

#;; Evil conquering #;; startstruck #;; ooc tofu #;; you called? #;; promised guardian #;; adeptal arts #;; ooc - I swear that I will make this look better but currently I am lazy and demotivated thanks to tumblr

[tiny-sugar-dove]

Sheba Sketches that I finally colored🌟

#Golden Sun #Sheba #Jupiter adept #GoldenSun #Sugar dove drawings #Sheba is my comfort character when drawing from golden sun #My baby she is small and cute #Wish I can draw better the others characters #Especially Ivan my boooooooy #Love him a LOT #Have a lovely day GS fans u r the most wholesome 💞

[corvidshadow]

I am Very normal about this

#destiny 2 #osiris destiny #saint-14 #y'all #he's besties with eido I can't #screaming and breaking my chair #osiris wake up speedrun challenge adept #he better befriend her too #they can totally get along pls bungie hear me

[mountinez]

happy lunar new year to those who celebrate ♥🐰

#not chinese but tao believer and adept #hope to see zhou guanyu party content today <3 #also made vegan sesame balls yesterday #they are traditionally plant based but well #year of the rabbit #east holidays are way better than ours idk why

[anghraine]

The Mass Effect P&P AU is taking slightly clearer shape in my head and I think it ... very roughly follows the Mass Effect story with the character roles taken by P&P characters and the dynamics being necessarily affected by that.

I've been set on Elizabeth as Shepard and an asari Darcy from basically the start, and when I was deciding if I wanted Darcy to basically occupy Liara's role (personalities aside!), I thought "yeah, I can see asari Darcy going into academic research and being like, I don't care what everyone else thinks about the Protheans, I know I'm right!"

And then I was like... wait, is Lady Catherine Matriarch Benezia in this universe??? o_O

#the estrangement and reconciliation works better with matriarch aethyta ... but hmm #and mr collins is like a weird asariphile hanger-on/errand boy with some distant connection to elizabeth #jane and elizabeth aren't sisters; they went through alliance training together and had a close bond #and jane takes ashley's place (of all people lol) so when elizabeth goes to eden prime and finds her she's like... JANE?! #darcy is also less damsel-ish than early liara (but has the same powerset - definitely an adept; i think e is an infiltrator) #(battle couple! :D) #anghraine babbles #fic talk #fic talk: commander elizabeth bennet au #austen blogging #anghraine's gaming #the adventures of space redacted #elizabeth bennet #fitzwilliam darcy #lady catherine de bourgh

[protonpowered]

Is there a ratchet and Clank, or even just a nefarious, discord group/server anywhere? It just feels rather quiet around here sometimes.

Even if there is no group, does anyone just have discord for one-to-ones?

#i think about more than just rac obviously #i like games in general and ive been slowly working my way through my film collection #im not exactly the most socially active or adept but im trying to be better about it #just send me an ask or smth and maybe we can exchange details #you cant see it and i knownit sounds silly but i am genuinely nervous posting this #side note im going to bed soon so if you do send a message and i dont respond then im probably asleep

[justinefrischmanngf]

do you know what? i slept instead of going to boxing and i think i probably should’ve gone instead of sleeping but that’s okay because next week i can do better

#trying to find the line btwn letting the soft animal of my body love what it loves (sleep) and holding myself to high enough standards wrt #what i am doing with my life and how to be a better/more adept/more secure person (boxing in this case) #and i think i made the wrong choice this morning and so i will keep this in mind for next week #NOW. i need to have a shower and make breakfast and get everything ready for today b4 i need to leave in like 90 minutes bc my roommates bf #is coming over 😭😭😭

[girlbob-boypants]

Tried out Path of Exile last night btw

My first impressions aren't great. Mainly because any game that routes the almost universally used map button, M, to bring up the Microtransaction Shop isn't doing itself any favors.

#girlbob.txt #it might be a perfectly fine game but ngl it presents itself horribly #it auto equips gear instead of telling you about it #the help menu is a goddamn novel you have to click on #the voice acting is middling and the dialogue scrolls in text boxes #the chat box is HUGE #theres no border on the minimap #the trait web is an instant quit moment for 90% of people #for some reason the explanation text boxes are small despite everything else wanting to hog screen space #apparently its a good game but its first impression is very mobile game desperate for you to waste money #also the story start is so basic #oh what if puritanical christians but in magic world and we give god a name we barely use? man thats so original #dunno if that gets better but im sure gameplay does #these games rely on sunk cost it gets better after x hours so people adept enough to learn the game feel obligated to stay and pay

[summer-fruits-and-cream]

mattel is being really strict about copyright, normally I can watch dance scenes from movies on youtube but I can't find the barbie dance scenes anywhere :(

#people more adept at finding illegal stuff online (thats not anime) would probably be better at this #but idk what to do except use. a search engine #barbie movie

[inflammatory]

:))))))

#quick and satisfying style #really expedited my painting process in recent years #via better colour agility (iykwim like the adeptness of the eye for it) and tone practice (lots of caravaggio) #i eat michelangelo merisis for breakfast important nutriets #Also learning what colour hue/sats i like by editing photos in lightroom helped to be honest