#that's not remotely the only reason i have baggage about it but. yeah. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ramzawrites · 3 years

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Wherever The World Takes Us Part 2 - SBI! Reader Insert

Pairings: none

Characters included: Wilbur, Jack Manifold, Fundy, Tommy, Tubbo, (mentioned) Philza, (mentioned) Dream, (mentioned) Sapnap, (mentioned) George

Warnings: small mention of death

Series: Yes, this plays in an AU version of the actual dsmp lore but still follows along the plot. Part 1

Summary: Y/N finally arrives at L’Manberg, talking to Wilbur for the first time after years. They take the chance to get a proper look at L’Manberg and the situation while also resting after the long flight over. Making up their mind that maybe they should stay longer than intended.

Word count: 4586

Authors Note: This is a more calm chapter but the next one should be more action packed and continue to do so. It is a bit of a slow start but the plan is to skip more through the story at important parts. Right now I just want to establish the Reader as a person and their connection to people.

Y/N has been to L’Manberg only once. That was before Wilbur pronounced L’Manberg a nation and started a war with Dream who owned these lands. Back then all they had were some crude builds and a van parked where they apparently lived in. Y/N was at first a bit mad at Wilbur that he would just take Tommy and his son Fundy to some random remote place only to live inside a van for a couple of months. Tommy reassured them that he was okay with it, besides they were in the middle of building up their own home and Wilbur reminded them that in the end he was trying his best and raising Fundy to the best of his abilities after his mom died. Besides Fundy was old enough that for him this was something exciting and saw this more as a camping trip before they properly moved in.

Now as Y/N was approaching the nation in the air they were quite impressed with what they saw. All around the nation stood a huge black wall that simultaneously marked their territory but also protected them from outside forces. Inside the walls were a few of houses, farms and people running around dealing with their own business.

They made a mental note to apologize to Wilbur for accusing him that he was pulling Tommy, Fundy and later even Tubbo into a doomed endeavor. They really should’ve trusted their bigger brother more.

Once Y/N got close enough they angled their wings in such a way that they would stop mid-air, slowly descending towards the ground with a few flaps of their wings. When they touched the ground they gave themself a look-over. Their little bag was still closed, nothing seemed to have flown out. Their sword was still safe against their hip. Honestly they could forgive themself for loosing that bag which almost only included herbs, other medicine with a little of food and a few other necessities but they would never be able to forgive themself if they lost the sword from Techno. Not that they wouldn’t have noticed if suddenly the weight disappeared but you never know.

They landed close to L’Manberg but decided to walk the rest five minutes on foot, stretching their back as they started to walk. Being in the air for three days with breaks was tiring but nothing new to them. One time they managed to fly for almost seven days with only a few breaks but after that their wings and back hurt so much that they needed a month long break. Philza came home from one of his adventures and saw Y/N for the first time in ages. He was happy, of course, but still confused since this only happened rarely. When he found out the reason though he gave them an earful that they should be more careful. Worried that they might have damaged their wings or didn’t get enough to eat.

Y/N subsequently had to let him look through their wings. He actually stayed the whole month at home as well, taking care of them, saying that as much as he was relishing in the freedom after all the kids moved out he did miss sometimes acting like the dad he is.

As they got closer to the gate of the city they really took in how imposing the walls looked. From the air they were already impressive but on ground they looked even more so.

The gate was made from heavy thick wood and was closed which didn’t surprise them seeing that they came over right after a fight against the Dream Team plus the betrayal from inside their group. Who wouldn’t feel paranoid.

Unsure what to do they knocked on the thick wood. Sure, they could fly over the gate but they felt like this would make all the people who didn’t know them wary and scared so they opted to properly trying to get in via the gate.

A small view window opened up giving away to a pair of blue and red colored glasses. Y/N positioned themself properly in front of the person who was silently judging them.

“Hi, my name is (Y/N) and I’m here to visit my family. Can I come in?”

The person behind the gate squinted his eyes “Who exactly would that be?”

Good he was talking to them at least “Oh! My brothers Wilbur, Tommy and my nephew Fundy.”

Suddenly the eyes widened behind the glasses “Give me a minute.” He then closed the little window and presumably left.

If that was an expression of recognition or something else Y/N honestly couldn’t tell. They just hoped it meant something good.

Y/N was awkwardly standing around, looking at everything around them but just ended up taking a better look at their wings. It was a bit of a nervous habit at this point. To be fair after this long flight they should take a good look at them but they didn’t have the mind for that yet.

No, they were too worried about their family. Loosing at least one of your three lives was a normal thing for most people but it still left everyone with their own mental baggage. Y/N couldn’t even imagine how Wilbur must feel. He is in charge of everyone here and then his family members all lost a life. Including his young son.

Wilbur didn’t go into detail of what happened so they hoped that he could fill them in as to what happened.

They were so deep in their thoughts that they didn’t notice how one half of the gate creaked open, revealing Wilbur who immediately crashed into Y/N, giving them a bone-crushing hug as the man with the colored glasses from before was babbling something about “Wait, at least check first!”

Surprised for this sudden hug it took Y/N a moment before they reacted but once they understood what was happening, they wrapped their arms and huge wings protectively around Wilbur.

“I didn’t think you would come visit us.” Wilbur whispered as he held onto them, almost as if he was afraid they would disappear as soon as he let go.

It hurt Y/N so much seeing Wilbur like this.

“After I read your letter I was so worried for you guys.” Y/N opened up their wings again and let go of Wilbur, who only reluctantly followed suit as well. “I needed to make sure and see for myself how you guys were doing. I also need to apologize to you.”

The other man from before was awkwardly scratching his neck as he interrupted them “Um, not to sound rude but don’t you guys want to continue this inside L’Manberg?”

Wilbur took a deep breath in, turned around and nodded “Yeah, you are right, Jack. Let’s get to my home, Y/N. I’ll call Tommy and Tubbo over later so we can talk about everything but you must be tired. If I’m right you definitely flew the whole way over, didn’t you?”

The last part sounded almost accusatory. Though as the older sibling it was his job to look out for them, so all they could do was roll their eyes.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Y/N admitted.

Wilbur smiled at that and begun leading his sibling into the heart of the city.

The city was beautiful. Rustic but beautiful. A few People were running around, greeting Wilbur and chatting happily with each other. Hard to imagine that these people were currently fighting for their freedom against the Dream Team and their people.

Y/N also took the time to get a proper look at Wilbur. He was wearing some sort of revolutionary uniform which only hammered back in how serious this was. How the hell did it go from living in a van to this? How did he manage to do it? It baffled them, it really did.

They were so incredibly proud of Wilbur but just as worried.

Suddenly Wilbur stopped at a beautiful little quaint home. He opened up the door and let himself and Y/N in. Inside he got rid of his jacket and also offered to hang up Y/N’s jacket and bag. They gratefully gave him their things. It felt like a huge weight was off of them.

“Over there is the living room you can sit down there. I’ll bring you something to drink and food.” He wanted to continue talking but he got interrupted by a rumbling sound from upstairs. Wilbur sighed and looked up towards the stairs.

Y/N followed his example only to see an excited Fundy jumping down the stairs “Y/N!”

“Ah! I was wondering where you were! Almost thought my favorite nephew was hiding from me!” they laughed as they opened up their arms.

Fundy didn’t hesitate running straight into them, giving them a hug. Y/N gave them a short hug, including wings only to let go almost immediately and pet his head “Look at you! You grew up quite a bit! Have your ears gotten bigger? Your tail as well!”

Excitedly he nodded in response “Yes! I am also getting better at smelling!”

“Is that true?”

“Yeah.” Surprisingly it was Wilbur who answered tiredly. Oh there was a story to that.

Together with Fundy at their side they walked towards the living room where Y/N gratefully let themself fall unto the couch, basically throwing their shoes off as they put their legs up. Yes, this was nice, now all they needed was some food and a good shower.

Fundy sat down at the end of the couch only to slowly inch closer and closer to them. Y/N had their eyes closed but they noticed the weight shifting around.

“Okay, spit it out Fundy. What is on your mind?”

Opening up one eye they saw how excited Fundy looked. It warmed their heart that even after he lost a life he was still so full of life and with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Though if this was just a shallow observation or the truth would be shown later. They planned to stay for a while. A few weeks at least. After all they had to make sure their family was doing alright at all costs.

“Can you tell me about your adventures?”

For some reason this really took Y/N aback. They supposed you could say they have been a lot around the world and seen some crazy things but they never really thought of them as adventures. It was their way to satisfy their own curiosity and freedom loving behavior. Now that they really thought about it this must run in the family. Philza spends his free time like them traveling around the world working on his own projects, Techno traveled far away to train on his own terms and now Wilbur and Tommy were fighting to free a small nation from the iron grips of a tyrant.

“My adventures, huh. Let me think.” Truth was they spent the most time studying the fauna of the world and learn of new ways to make potions and medicine, as well as treating people who needed it. In fact they actually managed to gain quite the reputation that would gain them the nickname Guardian Angel or in rare cases Angel of Life. Both seemed really cheesy and vague to them. Heal a few people from Zombification and suddenly people believe you are supernatural. Which reminded them.

“Oh! I got a creepy one! Wanna hear it?”

“A creepy what?” Wilbur was suddenly walking in with a glass of water and a few slices of bread just the way Y/N used to eat it for breakfast back when they were kids. It was nice knowing that Wilbur still remembered things like that.

“Y/N was going to tell me a creepy story of one of their adventures!” Fundy explained excitedly.

Wilbur raised one of his eyebrows “Oh, really? You have a creepy story? He put the glass and plate down on the coffee table next to his younger sibling who in return happily moved around on the couch so they sat crossed legged on it. Easier that way to eat and drink.

Fundy moved closer, looking at their wings “So, what about the story?”

“Alright, I’ll tell you about it, you are old enough to hear about zombie stories, right?” Fundy nodded, of course he was. He was twelve years old after all. Just to make sure Y/N looked over to Wilbur who gave them a very nonchalant “Sure, go ahead” shoulder shrug.

With that Y/N begun telling the two about that one time they found an abandoned village. They hoped they could do some trading and resting there but the entire village was just empty. It was only as it became dark that suddenly a ton of zombified villagers came running out. In the end they had to play some sort of cat and mouse game trying their best to find a way to heal them all. Meaning they had to try to heal them before the sun came up, evade their attacks while also brewing potions in the back.

While Fundy was hanging onto every word, interested how Y/N solved this problem, Wilbur begun laughing once they were done telling the story. Both Fundy and Y/N furrowed their brows as they looked at him.

He flailed around with his hand before slapping it down on his leg “I’m sorry it just suddenly really clicked to me why people call you Guardian Angel or Angel of Life. Though to be fair the last one I’m sure they only call you since they know you are related to dad. But, uh, yeah I’m mostly laughing at myself.”

While Fundy waved this off as his dad just being weird Y/N had a shocked expression on their face “You know of these stupid nicknames? You heard of them? How?”

Now Wilbur looked at them as if they were stupid “Come one, Y/N. You are way more known around the place as you might think. We get a lot of travelers and merchants around here who tell a lot of stories. Now and then we hear them talking about a Guardian Angel that apparently manages to perform miracles. I think I even talked to a person who swore he got saved by you. Said you were quite remarkable and I swear this is in his own words: good on the eyes as well.”

A faint embarrassed blush spread on Y/N’s face “Uh, is that true? I mean kinda weird not gonna lie.”

“Especially since it came from an old geezer.”

“Ender be damned of course it was!”

After this exchange Wilbur led Y/N to his little guest room so they could rest and maybe take a shower only for Y/N to notice that they left in such a hurry they didn’t bring enough clothing with them for multiple weeks. They will definitely get by the next few days but they better get on that.

Y/N was grateful for the hot shower, washing off the grime and dirt from their travel as well as letting their back muscles relax in the warm water. Once they were outside and in fresh clothing they finally took the time to take care of the wings. As much as they loved flying, these damned things were also high maintenance. Even if it was just so they felt more comfortable.

Back when they were a kid Philza would sometimes take the time to do that for them. They tried doing the same thing for him once when he was sick but apparently they did such a horrible job that he banned them from doing that again for at least the next ten years which technically passed years ago already but who is counting.

After a refreshing nap Y/N walked downstairs to find Wilbur sitting in the living room with a ton of maps and other pieces of papers laying around on the coffee table. They slowly approached him and laid a hand on his shoulders. He didn’t react meaning he must have noticed them approaching.

“Hey, you doing alright? What is all this?”

Wilbur let out a tired, weary sigh “Plans on how to strengthen our infrastructure and plans on how to get back at the Dream Team.”

Y/N nodded, fully knowing he can’t see their face and moved on to sit next to him on the couch as well. Taking a look over the papers. There wasn’t anything that really spoke to them nor could they really make out what this all meant, they just simply knew not enough of everything. So they decided to open up a new conversation. Something that was laying heavily on their heart ever since they saw how far L’Manberg has gotten.

“I’m sorry, Wilbur. I was angry at you, that you would take Tommy and your young son away into the middle of nowhere to live in a small van just because you could. Gave you a hard time for that even after Tommy reassured me that everything was fine and you guys were working towards an actual living space. For some reason it wouldn’t get into my thick skull and sure you haven’t fully achieved your current end goal yet but I’m seriously impressed with how far you have gotten. L’Manberg is beautiful and so much bigger than I thought it would ever be. You made something amazing here. I’m sure dad and Techno would be proud of you. I certainly am. So, let me say it again.”

They looked up and made sure to look their older brother directly in the eyes “I am so sorry for doubting you like that and I am so proud of you, Wilbur.”

Wilbur seemed a bit shocked as Y/N just opened up to him like that. Just staring at them, processing the things they just said.

His shocked expression turned into a soft smile “I forgave you a long while ago. You were just worried I get it but I appreciate this nonetheless. You are quite amazing as well, do you know that? I know I made fun of you and your nicknames but I hope you understand that for the simple fact that these things exist you must have really left an impact on people.”

Now it was Y/N’s turn to smile.

“Thank you, Wilby.”

“Now come here!”

Wilbur pulled them close to him again, giving them another one of his huge hugs.

Between the whole family Y/N and Wilbur tended to open up the most and mostly to each other. Technoblade didn’t care much for these things, Philza was a bit in the same boat but he was still there, offering genuine heartfelt counseling when they needed it. Tommy on the other hand liked to avoid these topics in general, feeling uncomfortable with them. That didn’t mean he never talked about these things but it was more rare.

Y/N took a deep breath in as they softly pried Wilbur off of them “I have no idea how to ask so I’m just going to do it. Can you tell me more about what happened that day? But I also understand if you need more time.”

Wilbur returned to stare at the papers in front of him “I first want you to at least talk to Tommy and Tubbo. They missed you a ton and I had to hold them off while you were sleeping. After that I promise you I will tell you everything and I mean absolutely everything. That a deal?”

He sounded sad but also got his, what Y/N and Tommy would call, big brother voice out. He used it rarely but when he did it meant he was serious and it was more of an order even if he used it for a question. The older they got the more annoyed Y/N was with it, seeing how they are closer in age than Tommy and considered themself more mature but they also respected it.

“Okay, deal. I’m guessing they are somewhere around L’Manberg?”

Wilbur visibly relaxed after they answered “Yeah, want me to ask Fundy to show you?”

Y/N shook their head “It’s alright. I’ll take the chance to get a better look of the town. I’ll leave you to it then. Don’t stress yourself out too much alright?”

He just gave them a soft nod before grabbing some of the papers, probably rereading them for the hundredth time.

Reluctantly Y/N stood up and walked towards the door, grabbing their jacket before going out. They loved their jacket it was a gift from Philza. Flying around was a cold endeavor and finding a proper jacket that you could wear with wings was pretty difficult or expensive, so they really treasured this gift from their father.

Outside again they took a good look around. The walls were just as imposing as the last time they saw them. There were only a few houses sprawled around but there was still a ton more space for even more. Wilbur was probably hoping that more people moved in but for that the war between him and Dream had to come to an end. Not a lot of people would dare to move into a town constantly under siege.

Dream was scary as far as Y/N could tell. They heard some things about him on their travels but also via the letters from Wilbur. Apparently he is quite the fighting machine. He owned these lands and ruled over the people there with an iron fist. Always in control over everything.

His best friends, George and Sapnap, form the Dream Team with him. They were also really good fighters. Always standing close to him and follow his lead. Y/N didn’t know much about them besides Sapnap since as far as they have heard he had a love for fire.

It irked them a tiny bit that apparently there really didn’t seem to be a way for both factions to find a more peaceful solution.

As they continued walking they saw the man with the mismatched glasses again. Jack was his name if Y/N remembered correctly. He noticed them walking by and reacted by running towards them with a wave. He seemed way friendlier now.

“Hey! And? What do you think of our own little nation, Y/N?”

Y/N gave him a polite smile “Jack, right? Even as I was seeing it from above I was thinking it looked really amazing. To think this all started out with a van.”

Jack nodded with a satisfied expression on his face “Yeah, it really is amazing what can happen in a few years with some help. Also, yeah, Jack Manifold is my name. I joined a bit later but I’m helping your brothers out. The two, Fundy and even Tubbo were telling me and the others quite a few things about you!”

“I hope only good things and nothing too embarrassing.” They laughed.

“I think they really respect you, from what I can tell, so, I respect you too! Okay, I have some errands to run but I also just wanted to officially greet you and if you have any question don’t hesitate to ask me.”

“Thank you! I will keep that in mind!” They waved him off as he continued on his way.

The people here seem to be friendly, at least once you are inside. Honestly Y/N was really curious of the people that joined L’Manberg in this dangerous time. Why they joined and who they were. They must be some kind of stupid to do that but a kind of stupid that Y/N seriously respected.

It didn’t take long for Y/N to find Tommy and Tubbo huddled up whispering and joking to each other. They were standing around a small carrot farm. Tubbo on the soil with dirty hands and a basket of carrots next to him, leaning against the fence, listening intently to his best friend. Tommy was snacking on a carrot as he was standing on the other side of the fence, wildly gesticulating as he was boasting about something. Both wore the same unform as Wilbur though with a few differences.

It was Tubbo who saw Y/N approaching first. Excitedly he gave them a wave and motioned for them to get over to the little farm. Tommy turned around, surprised to see his older sibling coming closer. A huge grin appearing on his face.

“Y/N!”

“Tommy! You seem to be doing well! You too Tubbo! It’s been quite some time!” It felt like a huge weight was lifted off of them. They were definitely glad that the two looked like they always do and not cooped up at home. The two moved in together and have been a huge help to Wilbur but also quite troublesome as well as far as Y/N could remember from the letters they received.

Tubbo rubbed his hands on a rag, hurriedly trying to clean them as he walked towards the other Hybrid, Tommy close behind. He leaned towards Y/N who in return immediately followed the motion recognizing that he was about to give them a small headbutt. This was shortly followed by a hug from both Tubbo and Tommy at the same time.

The two grew up quite a bit of course but Y/N really marveled at Tubbo’s horns which have grown a lot over time. Curling around his big flappy ears just like Schlatt.

“You are here?” Tommy asked.

Y/N gave themself a look over “Uh, as it seems I am indeed here right now.”

Tommy just rolled his eyes at his older siblings antics.

“For how long?” Tubbo was the one to ask.

To be honest Y/N wasn’t absolutely sure themself so they shrugged “A couple of weeks maybe. We’ll see.”

“Ha! I bet you haven’t talked with Wilbur about that yet! Actually I also bet you just came over without much thinking.” Tommy laughed. They haven’t seen each other in a while but apparently he could still read them like a book.

Y/N slung their arm around the blonde and pressed their other fist on top of his head “We haven’t seen each other in literal years and this is how you treat me the first time we see each other?”

“How about we show them our home Tommy? We both build this up so that’s something cool to show right?”

They sighed and let go off Tommy “I was really hoping once you moved in with Tubbo you would become less cheeky and more nice but I guess some things never change. You make fun of me while Tubbo is actually being a good host.”

“Yeah, yeah. By the way have you had a proper look around L’Manberg?”

“I only walked around a bit in order to find you guys, not a proper tour if that is what you mean.”

This time both Tubbo and Tommy grinned.

“Well then let me show you around!” Tommy was now boasting. He was clearly proud of what he helped build up, of this nation. Y/N was glad that he found something to put his energy in like this. Guilt snuck back in as they remembered how much they doubted Wilbur and Tommy in this.

Sure their situation right now wasn’t optimal but how couldn’t you be amazed or even proud of them. This only used to be a van and now it was a straight up town, a small nation in the works. They couldn’t help but think that maybe having a doctor like them on hand would be quite helpful as well.

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alpacaparkaseok · 3 years

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It's been a long tiring day. Work which has be a escape hatch for the past year has tends drain you out . The glamour of working in an advertising agency as worn off along with the enthusiasm for life. As you park the car , a memory slides in of you and Jin trying to decide who would park the car the tight corner slot ... You chide yourself .. snap out of it .. it's been a year ... A long year at that .

Throwing the car into park, you take a moment to pull down your mirror and take a look at yourself. Do you actually look like a mess, or are you just imagining it? If you squint, you swear you can see just how empty your eyes are.

"Hey!"

You jump, seatbelt locking at the sudden movement. Someone knocks on your window, and with a groan and a sheepish smile, you roll it down.

"Hey, yourself."

Namjoon laughs. "Were you planning on getting out anytime soon? I'm having a Discover Channel marathon at my apartment if you wanna come."

Your sheepish smile makes a return. "Oh, thanks Namjoon, but..."

If you'd actually been paying attention to the boy, you would have noticed the nervous fidget of his hands and the way his expression dropped at your tone.

He's been inviting you up to his apartment for months, to no avail. Without fail, it ends up in a half-formed excuse and awkward goodbye.

"Actually," Namjoon interrupts before you can come up with an excuse. "I have something for you in my apartment. Would you mind just dropping in really quick? So I can give it to you?"

"Oh. Like a package or something?"

"Er...no, not really. It's, uh..." Namjoon takes a step back from your car as you get out, scratching the back of his neck. "Hard to explain...?"

You chuckle, shrugging your shoulders. "Sure, Joon. That's fine. Let's head up."

The two of you walk up the stairs, keeping a good distance. Namjoon calmly asks you about your day, and you wonder if he sees right through you when you tell him that it was fine. He doesn't push it, though. Instead he changes the subject.

Jin used to do the same thing, you note. Until the day he walked out of your life forever, leaving nothing but a heart wrenching note and his wedding band on the kitchen counter.

You should have seen it coming, you should have talked to him earlier. If only you would have looked past yourself and focused more on him-

"You good?"

Blinking, you realize that you've come to a stop outside of Namjoon's apartment. He stands just inside the door, holding it open for you and wearing a concerned expression.

"O-oh. Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry I zoned out, I'm just tired."

Namjoon nods, holding the door open a little wider and gesturing for you to enter. You tip-toe after him, glancing around his apartment with curious eyes.

It's a little cluttered, plenty of books or boxes are half-opened. Almost as though their owner got distracted halfway through the process, leaving them until further notice.

Maybe that's what this feeling in your heart is. Despite a year having passed since your sudden separation from your husband, you're left feeling half-open. Still hoping that Jin will slide back into your life to complete the process of loving you. Afraid of what you would do if he tried to come back.

"Sorry it's a little messy," Namjoon is muttering, his cheeks taking on an adorable red tint. "I honestly wasn't expecting you to come in. Give me half a second to grab it. Make yourself at home."

He scurries off around the corner toward the kitchen, if you're not mistaken. It's strange to see his apartment, which is the mirror image of your own. So familiar and foreign all at once.

It makes you dizzy.

Chancing a seat on his leather couch, you grab the nearest half-open book. Thumbing through it, you're delighted to see that it's one that you've read before. Did you recommend this to him? Or did he just happen to have similar tastes as you? Honestly, most of your past conversations with Namjoon have been rushed and awkward. Something about him throws you off and sends you running back home before you can do something too stupid.

It probably has something to do with the fact that he found you nearly passed out outside of your apartment about eight months ago, too drunk to even open the door and too distraught to see straight.

Namjoon had heard the noise, and headed out into the hallway to see what the issue was. Despite your inebriated state, you still remember with startling clarity the way he gently took your keys from your trembling hands and unlocked the door.

You could still feel the ghost of his hands as he helped you brush your teeth and tucked you into bed. Going above and beyond the kindly neighbor role as he fluffed your pillow and gazed down at you with an adoring look in his eye.

You think he was banking on the fact that you were probably too drunk to remember anything in the morning. At least, that's what you assumed when he planted a sickly sweet kiss to your forehead before leaving you to go back to his apartment across the hall.

But you remember everything.

"Here you go!" Namjoon appears in the living room, carrying a familiar cardboard box and a wide smile.

You blink up at him, setting the book off to the side. "...pizza?"

"Not just any pizza," Namjoon croons, setting the box down in you lap before sitting beside you. "That kind you used to order all the time, remember? I noticed that you didn't get it delivered that much anymore...so you know. I thought I'd get some for you. It came last night, but you didn't answer your door, so I just stuck it in the fridge."

Staring at the man beside you and then daring to lift up the lid of the box, you gasp as you see your favorite pizza waiting for you.

"Wait, you got this for me?"

Namjoon grins, nudging you with his elbow. "Yeah, I did. I mean, I was kinda hoping that you'd share a slice with me, but..."

Your voice is small and pathetic when you speak next. "Why...why would you do this?"

The silence is crushing as you stare down at the top of the pizza box. The bright logo of the pizzeria is practically burned into the back of your eyelids as you wait for an answer. When it comes, it's not what you expected.

"Pretty selfish reasons, honestly."

"What?"

Namjoon stretches a little, reaching for the remote that sits on the coffee table. "I wanted to have a Discovery Channel marathon with you, and this seemed like the best way to bribe you into it."

"But Namjoon," you sound incredulous, "you don't want to hang out with me-"

"Yes, I do."

"But-" your breath catches, and suddenly you find yourself back where you were that morning when you discovered Jin's wedding band on the kitchen counter.

It was simple, gold. A couple of nicks and scratches on it, proving to you that it was all real. But when you picked it up, it seemed too light in your hand. Like it never held any real weight, anyway.

"But what?"

"But I'm divorced! And you, you're successful and don't have that kind of baggage! So you really don't want to get involved with me, Namjoon! Just- stop being so nice to me!"

He's silent as he regards you, and your skin flushes red under his gaze. His eyes don't miss a single thing, from the way you're breathing heavily to the way your hands tremble.

Jumping a little when he opens the pizza box and grabs a slice, Namjoon takes a big bite before smirking at you.

"Are you the kind of person that can eat cold pizza or do you always have to heat it up?"

You frown. Did you not hear you confessing your baggage and invitation for him to ignore you for the rest of his life?

"Uh...no, I like cold pizza."

Namjoon nods, eyebrows scrunched as though processing some life-changing information.

"Good. I think that would be the only thing I can't handle. Other than that, I'm not worried about your 'baggage', as you put it." Taking another bite, Namjoon turns on the TV and leans back against the couch. "I'm not asking you to marry me, you know. Just watch some Discovery Channel with me?"

Sinking back against the couch cushions with a huff, you wonder if this is even real.

"I...yeah. Sure."

Shooting you a smile that sends you reeling, Namjoon begins his quest to remind you of what falling in love feels like.

#submission #jin angst #namjoon fluff #bts exes au #namjoon soft hours #jin oneshot #bts divorce #bts neighbor au #bts as your neighbors

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frostedfaves · 3 years

Text

Haunt (2)

Masterlist

Pairing: civilian!Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

Summary: Getting to know you brings a few ‘firsts’ for Wanda.

Warnings: brief alcohol mention, tiny bit of angst

A/N: click on the link at the end of the masterlist to add yourself to the taglist! and tell me what you think!

Previous part

“Honey, I’m home,” Pietro called loudly as he locked the front door behind himself, smiling as Wanda appeared from the kitchen. “There you are, rybka. Smells good in there.”

“As it always does,” Wanda playfully bragged as she pulled her brother into a hug, sniffing his shirt as he pulled away. “Why do you smell so good?”

“Because I had a date earlier. Don’t give me that look.”

“What? I didn’t give you any look,” she mumbled as she attempted to quickly bring a sense of nonchalance to her expression. “I just worry.”

“You don’t have to--”

“Pietro, your last girlfriend was a nightmare. I have a right to be worried.”

“Well, you can relax this time,” he assured her as he followed her into the kitchen to wash his hands. “Usually things don’t go so well with girls that have posters of me in their rooms, but I have a good feeling. She travels for work almost as much as I do, but she lives really close to here. I can visit you both on the same day if I need to.”

“Wait…” Wanda paused to think as Pietro grabbed two plates from the cabinet. “Does she have a roommate?”

“Yeah, her name is Y/N, I think. You know her?”

“I do now. We met about an hour ago.” A smile formed on her lips as she began plating the food she made, but it faded as quickly as it appeared. “Why are you giving me a look right now?”

“Nothing, just been awhile since I’ve seen my baby sister with a crush.”

“You’re only twelve minutes older than me,” she argued with a scowl and Pietro laughed.

“I see you’re not denying that crush, though.”

“You can enjoy someone’s presence without being attracted to them.”

“Maybe, but you definitely have a crush.” He caught her hand with a grin as it flew toward his chest. “Come on, rybka. Just admit it.”

“Fine, I think she’s gorgeous. Happy?”

“I will be when you start dating,” he teased as she pulled her hand away.

“There won’t be a date. I mean she’s coming here tomorrow to hang out, but I don’t think she sees me like that.”

“Then she sucks,” he affirmed, groaning when her elbow bumped his side harshly. “She’s not even your girlfriend yet and you’re already super overprotective.”

He ran back into the kitchen to grab the wine and glasses before she could hit him again, giving her a bit of time to fantasize about a world where you were her girlfriend. She’d never tell Pietro just how great that sounded to her.

Wanda gasped as the doorbell went off, nearly knocking over the 3-tier cooling rack full of cookies on her race to the front door. She paused in the hallway to fix any hairs that flew out of place in her rush and took a deep breath before opening the door with a smile. You were standing on her porch wearing a different hoodie from yesterday and jeans instead of sweatpants, but every bit of the face she’d been thinking of in the past 16 hours was the same, and she couldn’t help but think that nothing could’ve prepared her for being this close to you again.

“Are you going to let me in or just stare?” you teased with a slightly shaky laugh, and Wanda wasn’t sure if she was blushing because she was caught or because she was already so enchanted with every little action of yours.

“Sorry, sorry.” She stepped aside as you walked in and locked the door behind you. “I’m not usually this weird, I promise.”

“I’m sure you are, and that’s okay because I like it.”

Wanda was sure (if the tension surrounding her grinning mouth was any indication) that her face would split open at any moment. You hadn’t even been here more than a full minute and she felt a warmth growing inside her chest that hadn’t made an appearance in quite some time. She wondered if it was too soon to admit that to you, but Alexei tiptoed into the room before she could decide.

“Hey, it’s your cute dog!” You were on your knees in seconds greeting the corgi that happily trotted over to you.

“Yes, this is Alexei, which basically means ‘defender’.”

“I feel like you call him that ironically, but I think I can see this tiny baby taking out some bad guys,” you quipped as you glanced at her from the floor, turning back to Alexei as you scratched lightly along his jaw. “What do you think?”

Wanda joined you in giving her furry son some love for another minute or so before he grew tired of the attention and walked off, leaving the two of you alone again. A few seconds of awkward silence passed before she offered you a tour of her home. She led you through the living room into the dining room, showing you where the bathroom was and briefly gesturing toward her bedroom, trying her hardest not to make such a big deal of doing so. Once you made it back around to the kitchen, she took you through the back door to her yard.

“And this is my garden!”

“I’m surprised you don’t grow your own vegetables, too,” you told her as you checked out the variation of flowers growing in a line, quickly adding “You seemed to know so much about it yesterday.”

“There’s this market I go to sometimes, and the elderly woman that sells vegetables there is always sharing tips with me. I could take you one day, if you’d like,” Wanda offered as she cast a nervous look your way, relaxing a bit when you smiled and nodded.

“I would like that a lot.”

You made your way back inside and Wanda gave you the freedom to pick anything from her movie collection under the television while she set up a tray with cookies and bowls of popcorn and chips. She watched you slide a disc into the DVD player from the corner of her eye as she placed the tray on the coffee table in front of the couch.

“What’d you pick?”

“Tangled,” you answered simply as you grabbed the remote and took a seat. “It’s wholesome.”

You pressed play as Wanda returned with two glasses and a pitcher of water, and she sat at what she hoped was a respectable distance. The part of her that wanted to pretend that she hadn’t seen this movie thousands of times was quickly overpowered by the part that wanted to sing along, quietly at first during “When Will My Life Begin” and a little louder and more enthusiastic with “I’ve Got A Dream”.

“Am I that bad?” she joked when she noticed you watching her and you shook your head quickly.

“No, you’re not bad at all! You just have such a soothing voice. It’s kind of hard not to lose myself in it.”

“Oh...thank you.”

You faced the television again and Wanda took that as a cue to turn back to the movie too, but her focus was still on you. The last time she’d watched Tangled was with her ex-girlfriend, who complained every time she uttered a single note, but you almost seemed to encourage it with your attentive gaze. She found herself shaking her head a bit in an attempt to clear those thoughts, not wanting to compare you to someone else when she barely knew you.

“I’m sorry,” you quickly apologized as you paused the movie, causing Wanda to look at you as you faced her once more. “I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“No! No, I’m not uncomfortable, just surprised is all. You’re the first person to show appreciation of me singing during a movie...I mean, Pietro likes my singing, but he’s known me since birth, so the novelty’s kind of worn off.”

“Well, you sound incredible. The kids at your school are so lucky to--”

“Can I kiss you?” Her eyes widened as she scooted over a bit on the couch to give you more space. “I’m so sorry I said that! I’ve just been staring at your lips for the past minute and I swear I was listening, but I couldn’t stop thinking--”

“I’ve been thinking about it, too.”

The sight of your reassuring expression was all the encouragement Wanda needed to pull herself close enough that your thighs were touching, and her hand went for your jaw as she leaned in, internally cheering as you did the same. Your lips met in a gentle fashion, but Wanda couldn’t help her greed as she pressed herself into you more. She felt the tip of your tongue and opened her mouth without any thought, quickly losing herself in your touch as her hand slid toward the base of your neck while the other grabbed a fistful of your hoodie.

You yanked yourself out of her hold as she was about to slide her hand under the fabric covering your back, and Wanda jumped back in shock, torn between keeping her distance and placing a hand on your thigh to calm you when you began gasping for air a bit.

“Is everything okay? Did I go too far?”

“No, you didn’t. That was all me,” you assured her breathlessly. “I, um, just thought of something and kind of freaked myself out. Terrible timing, I know. I also know that was pretty weird so I can leave if you want.”

“I was just scared that I’d done something wrong.” Wanda placed her hands carefully over yours with a soft smile. “I think we’ve had our fair share of weirdness to the point of it not being a deal breaker anymore.”

“Okay.” You sighed and shifted your hands to grab yours. “I’m just worried that we’ll start something here that you won’t want to finish, and I know that can happen with anyone in any kind of situation, but I…Can you promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Promise me that you’ll walk away the moment my baggage becomes too heavy. I don’t want you to try sticking it out for my sake and end up hating me.”

“I wouldn’t stay just for your sake--”

“I asked you to promise me something and you responded ‘anything’ with zero hesitation, and you’ve known me for only a day,” you quickly reminded her. “I have a right to be worried.”

Your words took her back to last night, which took her even further back to the reason she said the exact same thing to Pietro. She finds it incredibly easy to discover those red flags most people seem to hold, but always struggles to leave and ends up hating herself for it more than those that deserve it. So despite the lack of warning signs with you, she decides to give in.

“I promise.”

Tags: @littlegasps @peggycarter-steverogers @imnotasuperhero @natasha-danvers @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @trikruismybitch @cristin-rjd @slut-for-nat @honeyvenable @creepingwolfberry @stickystudentlightmug @choni-trimberly @thedragonzland @dylxn-lee @cordeliaswhore

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x fem! reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #scarlet witch x reader #scarlet witch #avengers #the avengers #avengers x reader #avengers x you #avengers x fem!reader #avengers imagine #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel x reader

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aomine-ryo · 3 years

Note

sorry about my last request! i just wanted to change it because, i know you ger lord of requests for aomine but would it be on if it could be a scenario with him instead? whichever is easier for you!

Yes ofc! I love writing for Aomine. Fair warning, this is quite a long one so I hope you like it xx

Scenario: Aomine with an s/o with ptsd who’s afraid to get intimate

Aomine wasn’t always the best with his words. Which is why, when it comes to relationships especially, he’s more of a show-don’t-tell kind of guy. He’s the type of guy that values little things like hugs and kisses and touching in general, but lately he was beginning to think that you weren’t the same.

Aomine has had a crush on you for the longest time. The first time he met you was on your first day at your new job at a cafe. It took him about two days to be completely head over heels for you, which was new to him since he wasn’t one to be chasing after people in general. Naturally, he used his best pick up line to try and get you to go on a date with him. To his dismay, you declined.

“I’m flattered, and I really like you, but I really don’t think I can be in a relationship right now,” you replied.

“Oh. It’s alright. I can wait until you’re ready. Is it gonna take a few minutes or...?” Aomine joked, making you laugh. And my God, what a gorgeous smile, he thought. “I’m kidding. Take your time. If you ever change your mind just say the word.”

So the two of you continued your relationship as coworkers, though you quickly became really close. Despite the fact that he was a very lazy worker, his presence at the cafe is really what motivated you to never skip a day of work. Something about the way that he was so laid back and easygoing gave you a sense of comfort. Just having him around made you feel like you could finally relax and the lighthearted conversations and jokes with him was something that became incredibly important to you without you even realising it.

Of course, all this time, Aomine’s feelings for you never really went away. If anything, he found himself falling for you even more after getting so close to you. Eventually, you decided to give it a try. You had to move on at some point and there was no one better to take that first step with than someone as low maintenance as Aomine.

Fast forward a few months and you and Aomine are in a happy relationship. Not much really changed between you two though, it’s just that you went on dates now and he’d hold your hand every so often. Aomine was very patient with you. He didn’t want to ruin something that he’d been longing for for so long so he was doing his best to ease into it. Furthermore, he remembered that you weren’t exactly ready for a relationship (though that was ages ago), but something told him that he should give you a little space just in case.

Lately though, he’d begun to notice how the two of you had never really been intimate with each other. Sure, you’d spend an awful lot of time with each other between work and dates, but he hadn’t even kissed you yet and it’s been nearly a month since you started dating.

Truth was, you’d try to avoid situations where things would possibly be intimate due to your past experiences. Places like the cinema was out of the question and you’d always pick places that were open and public. Thankfully, Aomine was never opposed to any of these ideas because he didn’t care too much where you went as long as he was with you. Meanwhile, you were trying to get help for it, but it was a slow process and things weren’t looking that much better in your opinion. You were aware that it was unfair to Aomine too, but you were just hoping he wouldn’t notice until you finally build up to courage to be intimate again.

One weekend, you got a text from Aomine.

Hey, do you want to come over? I was thinking a movie night would be fun

The request seemed reasonable enough, but to you it was something you’d been dreading.

Not too sure... you texted back.

Why not? You said you were free today didn’t you?

You let out a groan as you remembered telling him about your empty schedule this weekend. Whilst you would much rather stay at home, you decided to agree to his request because you didn’t want him to think anything was wrong with you. So you sucked it up and got ready to head to your boyfriend’s house.

The walk there wasn’t exactly the most fun. Your mind couldn’t help but overthink the entire time. You tried to listen to music to drown out the thoughts but it was no use. Your stomach was turning and you felt like you could puke. Maybe you should just turn back?

Next thing you knew, your feet had carried you all the way to his doorstep and you had already knocked on the door. Taking deep breaths, you tried to calm yourself down as you waited. Why’d you convince yourself to do this? He would have understood if you just said no.

The door finally opened and revealed Aomine in a pair of grey sweatpants and a white shirt, a genuinely happy smile spread across his face. For a moment, you relaxed. It was just Aomine. You don’t have to get so worked up.

“Hey there,” he greeted you by messing up your hair, making you giggle. There really was nothing to be worried about.

“Stop it,” you laughed as you swatted his arm away from you so you could fix your hair.

Aomine let you in and told you to get comfortable on the couch while he went to grab some snacks and order some food for the two of you. His house was exactly what you’d expect it to be— barely furnished with a few tasteful knickknacks which you assumed was gifted to him.

Being left alone like this brought back the worrying thoughts though. You weren’t sure if you could deal with being touched again— even if it was Aomine. The idea of it alone brought you the icks.

Aomine returned with a bowl of popcorn, which he set on the coffee table in front of you before landing on the couch next to you with a remote in hand. “I thought I told you to get comfortable?” Aomine said.

“Huh?”

“You don’t look very comfortable— there’s a whole couch here and you choose to sit on the edge,” he laughed, eyeing your straight posture.

“Oh, sorry,” you said awkwardly as you pulled yourself back a bit and leaned against the couch.

“Don’t apologise,” he said, pausing for a moment to take his focus away from the TV and onto you. “Are you alright? You’re acting a bit off.”

“No, I’m okay, don’t worry,” you shook your head.

Aomine hesitated for a moment before turning his head back to the screen. “What movie do you want to watch?”

“I don’t have a preference— you choose,” you shrugged.

“You’re the guest, you have to choose,” Aomine replied insistently.

You let out a sigh as you shook your head disapprovingly. “Fine, I suppose a comedy would be nice,” you suggested.

Aomine browsed through the comedy options and settled on something that interested both of you. For the most part, you were alright during the start of the movie. You decided to indulge in its plot so that you could get your mind to stop with its intrusive thoughts. However, it wasn’t long until Aomine smoothly put his arm around you, surprising you for a moment as you suppressed a flinch.

And it only went downhill after that.

You could no longer pay attention to the movie. All you could focus on was his touch. It became painfully obvious to you that you were alone with him. He could do absolutely anything to you and no one would possibly know. It was awfully familiar.

You were spiraling.

Every time you’d close your eyes, you were transported back to the place where you had no control. You were terrified. He just had his arm around you— you knew that. But all you could see was things escalating. Trapped in your own little bubble of panic, you couldn’t hear Aomine calling your name.

The navy haired boy became increasingly concerned. He could feel you trembling in his arms but you weren’t responding to him at all. “Y/N? What’s wrong?” he asked, pulling away from you and beginning to panic himself.

No response. Just trembling. Also tears— lots of tears.

Aomine was confused. Not knowing what else to do, he grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around you, hoping it’ll stop the shaking. To some extent it did. It also helped you snap back into reality for a moment.

“I-I’m sorry,” you said between heavy breaths.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Aomine said, voice soft as ever. He reached out to wipe the tears off your cheek, but you immediately flinched and pulled back, stopping his movements completely. “Did I do something I wasn’t supposed to?” Aomine questioned. The way you reacted to him only made him worry more— it kind of hurt to see you like this.

You shook your head as you wrapped the blanket around you even tighter. After all this, you felt like you owed him an explanation, but the words wouldn’t come out. It was like the tears were choking you. “I-I should’ve t-told you t-this sooner but—“ you paused to take a gulp. “I d-don’t like being t-touched,” you admitted, hoping and praying that he wouldn’t absolutely despise you after a fit like this.

“You don’t like being touched?” Aomine repeated, trying to understand why you felt that way. You nodded in response, taking deep breaths to try and gather yourself. “Do you know why?” he asked, treading lightly because he didn’t want to make things worse. He felt awfully inept in this situation. He was already bad enough at comforting people with his words, and now he can’t even hug you to help either.

“I had a really bad experience in the past. I’m still trying to get over it,” you explained, voice shaky.

“Oh,” he said, trying to process what was going on, and more so trying to think of ways in which he could help.

“Yeah. I know it’s a lot of baggage. I should’ve told you before we started dating but I thought I could handle it. I totally understand if you want to break up or something,” you said, looking down and holding back another surge of tears.

Aomine went silent for a moment, making you think that he was actually going to do it. Did you have enough tears to cry for a second time? “I can’t say I’ve been through anything remotely close, but I know that it must be really difficult for you,” he finally spoke up, doing his best to find the right words to say here. “I don’t want to break up. I want to help. I don’t know how to help yet, but I can learn,” he said honestly.

You looked back at him with a softened expression. You weren’t expecting to hear those words. “Are you sure? You understand that it’ll take some time for me to be okay with things like intimacy, right?” you questioned, wondering if he really grasped the idea of it and not just saying things to make you feel better.

“I know. I can wait until you’re ready. I started dating you because I wanted to be by your side no matter what. I know you’d do the same for me,” he said.

You started crying again, making Aomine panic once more. It couldn’t be helped though, you just didn’t expect him so be so sweet and understanding about it— you had never had that with anyone else before. “Thank you so much, Daiki, it really means a lot,” you sobbed.

“Of course. I’m here for you. There’s no need to cry,” he said softly. “Why don’t we play some video games instead? I bet you can’t beat me in Mario Kart,” he suggested, changing his tone to a more cheery one to try and get your mind off of it altogether.

You gave him a gentle smile as you sniffled and nodded, “Please, I would absolutely kick your ass at Mario Kart,” you replied, words confident despite the shaky voice.

And as you both lost yourself in the challenge, you slowly began to forget about what had just happened. The anxious feelings you walked in here with had disappeared as Aomine’s care had assured you that this was nothing but a safe space. When Aomine looked at you, he realised that he wanted nothing more than for you to be happy. To be more specific, he wanted to be the one that makes you happy. He must really, really like you because he was going to stick by your side no matter what.

#kuroko no basket #kurokos basketball #kuroko no basket x reader #aomine daiki #knb #aomine daiki x reader

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jade-marie · 3 years

Note

I didn't watch episode 4 but I saw gifs of Beth yelling at Jane and it got me thinking, what's your view on the Boland kids not being parented?

Lmao you love getting me in trouble🤣

Sorry. It got long but I could rant about this for weeks.

Pre canon and S1

Obviously, we don’t see anything pre canon when it comes to the Boland kids, but you can put together an idea of what their situation was like from the first few episodes. Beth was a SAHM - she made them fancy packed lunches for school, had them enrolled in extra curricular activities, dropped them off/picked them up from school, put them to bed, got them ready etc. She was the main caregiver and Dean was at work. When he came home, he got to be the fun dad.

It seems like they had a decent amount of structure, as far as schedules go, but they’ve never been given any responsibility and didn’t appear to be well disciplined. We had Kenny telling Beth she sucked at math in s1 - something I certainly wouldn’t have gotten away with. Anyway, they had a decent amount of structure and stability, they were used to things being a certain way and that was all disrupted when Dean was kicked out of the house. Then suddenly, Dean was back, but he was sharing a bedroom with Kenny. It doesn’t seem like any of this was really explained to the kids properly or that they were helped through the process, which can have some knock-on effects.

Throughout Season 2

First episode of S2, Dean was shot. The kids were told that he was mugged and were, understandably, shaken up by the whole thing. Once again, nobody truly comforted or helped them through this process and we started to see the fallout of that. Kenny essentially developed an eating disorder and started bingeing, Jane “ran away from home”. But again, nothing is done about it. Beth says they need to be more present, no phones at dinner, they look into a child therapist, but we don’t ever hear about the kids actually getting therapy even though they desperately need it.

Throughout the season, the structure that they still had in S1 rapidly disappears. It goes from Beth being the main caregiver to her handing the reigns over to Dean in 2.05 and he doesn’t do a good job of it. The house becomes a mess, the kids run wild. This would be a perfect opportunity to start giving the older children some chores, helping to re-introduce structure, but it doesn’t happen. From the kids perspectives, they would notice their mother becoming more and more absent from their lives, missing dance recitals, coming home late, missing dinner, missing bedtime and so Dean is becoming the consistent parent (important for later).

Dean decides to weaponise the children, taking them away from Beth and going to stay with his mother for a while, before going back home. Beth and Dean tell the kids that they’re going to be getting a divorce, obviously that doesn’t happen, again creating quite an unstable environment for them. Effectively, they have a roof over their heads and they’re being fed/clothed, but nobody is actually parenting them.

Throughout Season 3

At the beginning of S3, with the dealership gone and Beth no longer working for Rio, they have significantly less money. It’s not clear how much of a knock-on effect this had on their extra curricular activities because Jane still has her piano lessons and Kenny has hockey. Beth’s taking them to the park a lot, it’s also not clear whether this is simply because she’s stalking Rhea and Marcus or genuinely because the park is a free activity for them. Regardless, they’ve been going to the park enough that it’s no longer fun. The kids really don’t seem to have any structure anymore and, once again, it doesn’t seem like they’ve been receiving any emotional support during what would be a challenging time for any child.

Dean has gone back to work, Beth is now also working, so Judith steps in to help take care of the kids. She takes things a little bit far, which pisses off Beth, so Judith is quickly removed from the equation. Again - instability. Then we have the fallout between Rhea and Beth, which means Jane can no longer play with her best friend Marcus for (at least from her perspective) absolutely no reason. Again – instability. Fast forward a few weeks, the entire house is emptied so the kids have to go and stay with Judith for an unspecified amount of time. Again – instability. We can play the blame game to decide who is the cause of this instability, but it’s pretty irrelevant. The fact is, the kids lives are being shaken up and nobody is helping them through it.

Beth buys new furniture, the kids come home, it all seems great, and then Dean gets arrested. So now their dad ,who has been the more consistent parent in their lives for the last year, is out of the picture. Once again, nobody is really offering them support during this time. We see Jane asking for her dad, we see the kids talking about how Dean lets them eat by the TV, because they’re missing things which have been consistent for them, and then we finally get to Janes little stand-off with Beth over the remote control.

That is quite clearly the result of her emotional needs going unmet for God knows how long, so she’s acting like a brat. Instead of taking care of and supporting her child, Beth lashes out. I find the editing choice to mute the yelling and playing music over the scene annoying, because it lightens it quite a bit. It’s pretty obvious that Beth was wildly over reacting to the situation, because she was lashing out at a child over things that had nothing to do with Jane. She was stressed about Dean, she was stressed about Fitzpatrick‘s upcoming murder and taking that out on a kid. Yeah, she felt bad and gave her a hug after, but you’ve still got 3/4 kids (is Kenny coming back??) who’ve been emotionally neglected for at least a year.

Beth’s kids compared to Annie/Ben

We don’t really see a lot of Ben‘s relationship with Greg, it doesn’t seem like he’s a particularly bad parent in any way, Nancy is probably a bit neurotic, but nothing major. Annie, is pretty emotionally stunted and immature, she puts way too much responsibility on Ben, so it’s the complete opposite of Beth. Ben is effectively the grown-up in their relationship, he leaves reminders for his mother to make sure shit gets dealt with and any structure Ben has is structure he’s created for himself.

But at the same time, he trusts his mother and when something is bothering him he actually talks to her. We saw him come out to Annie before Greg and Nancy, he told Annie when he was being bullied. As he gets older, you can see him growing tired of parenting his mother, but I think she’s learning from her mistakes by recognising the way they’ve impacted her son. I think it’s also important to remember that Ben has been largely unaffected by Annies criminal activities, this is predominantly because she has a shitload of baggage to deal with.

Beth’s kids compared to Ruby and her kids

As a whole, Ruby‘s kids have been relatively unaffected by her criminal activities. It doesn’t look like they ever had a rigourous schedule of extracurricular activities, but they’ve always had a stable home life. Not financially well off, but happy. We’ve always seen them be respectful, they have boundaries with their parents, they don’t particularly misbehave etc. They just appear to be good kids with good parents. They witnessed Stan being arrested and Sara especially took that quite hard, but she was supported through it. It’s also quite clear that she’s had a good emotional support system throughout her illness and kidney transplant. When she found out that Ruby was up to something shady in S3 and their relationship became strained as a result, she spoke to her mother in a way which was disrespectful, eventually that behaviour was checked. Because Ruby and Stan parent their children.

Beth’s kids compared to Rio/Marcus

From the very first time we were introduced to Marcus, we’ve seen that he’s very polite, very well-balanced and has a good relationship with his dad. We’ve seen Rio patiently instil important lessons in his son, such as cleaning up his messes, being patient and waiting his turn - things which Beth’s kids still don’t understand.

For the most part, Marcus seems to be pretty well shielded from Rio’s criminal activities, which is why I think Marcus was so heavily affected by his dads absence in S3. But, unlike the Boland children, he was emotionally supported through the process by his mother. He went to her for comfort and he received it. When Rio isn’t around, Rhea appears to pick up the slack and ensure Marcus still has some stability.

I think they’ve deliberately contrasted Beth’s kids with the other children on the show. Her children are the only ones who seem to be truly feeling the effects of choices she’s made during the course of the series. She claims to be doing all of this for her kids, but is completely ignorant to the fact that her choices are hurting them. This isn’t me bashing her character or saying she’s a shitty mom because I don’t like her, this is just stating what’s happening on the screen and right now, whether or not it’s deliberate, she’s being a shitty parent. Dean has always been a shitty parent. So now those kids don’t have anyone😕

#tl;dr #boland kids have shitty parents and it’s showing #good girls nbc #rio good girls #beth boland #ruby hill #annie marks

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fysebastianstan · 4 years

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Sebastian Stan jumped at the chance to try his hand at improvising for the duration of Drake Doremus’ latest relationship drama, Endings, Beginnings. Starring opposite Shailene Woodley and Jamie Dornan, Stan plays an Angeleno named Frank, whose erratic behavior complicates a budding relationship between Daphne (Woodley) and his friend Jack (Dornan). Despite being intimidated by the exercise of improvisation, Stan knew it was important for him to see what he was capable of without the comfort and safety of a script.

“I’ve always felt protected by scripts, lines and scenes. I feel like I’m one of those people who’s opened up much more by scripts. I’m not as witty on my own,” Stan tells The Hollywood Reporter. “This was one of those different experiences, and I would certainly do it again. I’d be curious to see if I could ever use parts of [improvisation] in a bigger movie… So, maybe this was a really training experience for that.”

Until the coronavirus pandemic shut down the entirety of Hollywood, Stan was just a few weeks away from wrapping Marvel Studios’ The Falcon and the Winter Soldier — the MCU’s first foray into scripted television for Disney+. Since many fans have wondered whether the show would maintain the look and feel of its theatrical counterparts, Stan is now shedding some light on how cinematic the streaming show is.

“It felt like both. In a lot of ways, it felt like a movie,” Stan recalls. “What I loved about it was that, tonally, it was very much in the same world that Captain America: The Winter Soldier was, which was one of my favorite experiences that I’ve ever had, period. So, in a sense, it was grounded and very much in the world as we know it. But, it’s also really jam-packed with a lot of massive, massive action scenes mixed with deep focus on character. These characters are getting so much more mileage for all of us to explore them. We can put them in situations that we’ve never been able to put them in before because you now have six hours as opposed to two.”

Now a year removed from the release of Avengers: Endgame, the highest grossing film of all time, questions are still being asked about Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) and Bucky Barnes’ concluding moments. While many fans agree with Rogers’ choice to pass his iconic shield on to Sam Wilson, there’s also a contingent of fans who wanted to see Bucky take on the mantle of Captain America from his best friend. To Stan, Steve was giving Bucky the same gift he gave himself: a life.

“Steve is saying to Bucky, ‘You’re going to go and do that, too. I’m not going to put this thing on you. We’re both going to live our lives — the lives that were actually taken from us back in the ‘40s when we enlisted,’” Stan explains. “So, that’s where I felt they were at the end of the movie. I don’t think there’s a desire or any conflicted thoughts about taking on that mantle. Sam, to me, was always the clear man to take on that mantle for numerous reasons, which also comes with so much more baggage that’s going to be explored in the show. I guess you’ll have to tune into Disney+ to find out why. (Laughs.) At the end of Endgame, for either Steve or Bucky, it’s really not about the shield.”

In a recent conversation with THR, Stan elaborates on the process of improvising an entire movie, the latest with Disney+’s The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and his interpretation of Steve and Bucky’s last moments in Avengers: Endgame.

How’s everything with you in New York?

It’s alright considering what people are going through out there. I’m pretty lucky. I haven’t been home in a long time so it’s been good to be home. You always feel weird when somebody says you can’t do something; It’s difficult to grasp that quickly. But, in truth, if I wasn’t working and I had time at home, I would probably be doing what I’m doing now. I’m writing, watching a lot of movies and just taking advantage of this time to chill out and get back to being present, something that is more and more difficult in our lives. I’m finding that my motivation is all over the place. Once I get to about 3 o’clock, I’m done for the day because it’s hard for me to get my focus back. So, I try to do all the important bits in the morning. Once in a while, I’ll go out for a run in the very early morning because I know nobody is around here in New York, and I was able to grab a couple of really cool stills of Times Square empty. It’s just weird, but anything to make a day go by. (Laughs.) This is where we’re at.

So, as I said to Jamie, I felt like I was invading the characters’ privacy while watching Endings, Beginnings. Did you feel that level of intimacy as a performer?

Yeah, man, it was extremely intimate right from the beginning. I was familiar with Drake’s work so I kinda had an idea going into it, but I didn’t really know what the process was going to be like. It really just started with this one-on-one meeting that Drake and I had really early on; we ended up talking for three hours about everything, basically. I don’t think either of us are small-talk guys anymore, so that felt very natural. I loved how honest he was about life experience, relationships and the curiosity of it all. So, we really hit it off. When I met him, I think I was trying to sway him to think of me as Jack, Jamie’s character. Personally, I felt a little closer to that character, but when we made the movie, Drake made me believe I was wrong. (Laughs.) We had an outline of what the movie was trying for, but the specificity of the performances, the relationship dynamics and the chemistry really made it feel like we were discovering it in the present moment on the day. There wasn’t a lot of rehearsal. Shailene came in late in the movie, and we probably had about two weeks where we were kind of rehearsing and just getting to know each other a little bit. The rest was a day-to-day, on-set trial and error in order to see what would light people up.

Since you had just come off a string of massive Marvel movies, was it nice to get back to basics with a film like this, so to speak?

Well, yeah, it’s just different. Particularly in the last two years for me, I’ve been so much more aware of directors like never before. I’ve desperately wanted to work with very specific directors — Drake being one of them. Then, when you go on that set with a specific director you’ve wanted to work with, they have a very specific vision, and I just immediately know that I’m going into somebody’s very specific vision. On the bigger movies, for example, I had a relationship with the Russos over three movies, and I knew the way they were working. Every time, I sort of felt like we were picking it back up again, but just in terms of format, structure and overall scope, I knew they were making a very different movie each time. On these little movies, sometimes, the director can take these very specific points of views, and you’re just in the hands of that. That’s what makes the experience different because it’s that director’s vision, and it’s very oriented to that particular person. That’s how I felt with Drake, and that’s how I imagine other specific directors are. I recently worked with Antonio Campos [on The Devil All the Time], who’s another director whose movies I love, and I’ve always wanted to work with him. Again, he has a very specific approach, vision and how he wants the thing to look and feel. You kind of just surrender to that.

When your character, Frank, first meets Shailene’s character, Daphne, at the New Year’s Eve party, they jokingly put distance between one another. Since many of us are now watching entertainment through our present-day lens, have you realized how ahead of the curve you were in this case?

(Laughs.) I didn’t even think about that; you’re right. It’s interesting to think because we don’t know, really, what the ramifications of this social distancing will be. We may still feel the effects of it well into the next couple years. It’s going to be a while before we get life back to “normal,” but will it ever really go back to normal? That’s the stuff that remains to be seen. I can definitely see a world where people are much more conscious about personal space, perhaps. I don’t know. Shailene and I were talking in another interview the other day, and I was like, “Listen, I know you’re a hugger — and so am I — but do you think people are going to want to be hugged by us after this?” I don’t know.

At least we can now opt not to shake hands without offending anyone.

Well, apparently, no one liked that. I was not aware that that was not a fun thing to do. Yeah, that might be gone at this point.

I got a kick out of Frank’s The Pianist reference. Did you name a different movie for each improvised take?

(Laughs.) No, that was the only time I referenced a movie. Every time it was different. One of the things that I learned with Drake really early on was to never try and do something that worked, again. That reference worked; I didn’t know he was gonna use it. Doing it again — even remotely getting close to it — goes against his way of working. You’re just recreating a moment, and he wants everything to be very fresh and in the moment. I have a friend who always picks on me for watching heavy, intense, dramatic movies by myself at home on the weekends. He just makes fun of me all the time. So, the reference came from that. I love all movies, but I just love watching the heavier dramatic movies. (Laughs.) So, it came from remembering that in the moment and just saying it. It was odd enough, but it made it.

I asked Jamie this question, but I’d like to get your take as well. How do you ensure that you’re improvising as the character and not as Sebastian?

That’s the problem. I don’t know. Even though we’re improvising as honestly as possible, we’re still kind of doing it with a direction from the outline. I think that is what gives it an element that’s still affected rather than me just going up there and saying how I feel. And then, in the editing room, which is what makes Drake brilliant at this, he finds the moments; the way he cuts is just fascinating to me. I remember saying to him, “Drake, no take is the same. I don’t know how you’re going to cut this. It’s impossible.” And yet, he made it work. He found the conversation, and he found the moments. He’s got a very specific way of cutting that I love which is the reactions and so on. He really filtered those performances in the editing room as well. There was a lot of back-and-forth dialogue between me and Shailene that never made it, but again, it’s about him picking what he feels is right for who each character is.

Did you have any history with improvisation before this experience?

No, not at all.

Were you intimidated by it?

I definitely was. Absolutely, I was. I didn’t have an audition for the movie, but I had that three-hour session with Drake where we talked about different things and topics. I think he was just curious to see how honest our conversation could go, and I just wasn’t afraid of that. It was very scary at the beginning. It’s that question you asked, where you go, “Well, this isn't really who I am. I don’t do these things that this character does.” I’ve always felt protected by scripts, lines and scenes. I feel like I’m one of those people who’s opened up much more by scripts. I’m not as witty on my own. This was one of those different experiences, and I would certainly do it again. I’d be curious to see if I could ever use parts of it in a bigger movie. Believe it or not, on those bigger projects, you do use improv. You do the scenes a couple times. You get it as it’s written on paper, and then you say, “Let’s just do this one more time and try it out this way. Let’s just see what happens and then we have it.” Sometimes, that ends up in the movie because it’s weirdly a sort of wildcard. So, maybe this was a really training experience for that.

Shifting gears to some obligatory Marvel questions… Did you shoot The Falcon and the Winter Soldier like a TV show or movie?

It felt like both. In a lot of ways, it felt like a movie. Again, we’re not finished; we still have some stuff to do. What I loved about it was that, tonally, it was very much in the same world that Captain America: The Winter Soldier was, which was one of my favorite experiences that I’ve ever had, period. So, in a sense, it was grounded and very much in the world as we know it. But, it’s also really jam-packed with a lot of massive, massive action scenes mixed with deep focus on character. That’s what’s really exciting about this. We’re getting to keep it in the world of the movies, so it’s recognizable that way, but at the same time, these characters are getting so much more mileage for all of us to explore them. We can put them in situations that we’ve never been able to put them in before because you now have six hours as opposed to two. It’s always a discovery.

Prior to the shutdown, is it true that you were only a week away from wrapping?

No, we were probably at least two or three, but don’t quote me on that.

At the end of Avengers: Endgame, between the dialogue and your performance, it seemed pretty cut and dried that Bucky knew about Steve’s plan to remain in the past with Peggy (Hayley Atwell). Were you surprised that some people didn’t entirely pick up on that?

I don’t know if I was surprised. The Internet completely misconstrued something else and made it entirely into something that it wasn’t, but later, I sort of became aware that people really felt like we needed to have more between the two of them or something. But, it hadn’t occurred to me because at the same time, that scene was saying so much with subtext. That being said, how do you put it all together in a three-hour movie? To merge all those different stories together, you could’ve had another movie of everybody saying goodbye to each other. So, I love how much people care about those two characters and that they wanted more from them, but I just took it as “This is as much screen time as we’ve got left before the movie ends.” It was already such a long movie. And then, it’s just the knowledge that these guys have always known each other’s moves, so to speak. They knew each other so well that they could say, “Okay, I know what he’s going to do, what decisions he’s going to make and I support that.” Yeah, it’s just what it was. That’s what was on the page, and that’s what we shot.

Bucky hugged Steve and said he was gonna miss him. To me, it’s crystal clear that you played it as knowing Steve’s intent.

Oh, a thousand percent, yeah. I played it as goodbye. What I was playing was, “Okay, I know he’s going, and he’s not going to come back. I can’t talk about it, because if I do, then they’re going to try and stop him from doing what he wants to do. So, I’ve gotta support that.” That’s what I was playing in the scene. Suddenly, when he shows back up again, I’m playing it like, “Oh! Well, he didn’t tell me he was gonna do that. I knew he was gonna leave, and even though I knew what he was going to do with the shield, I didn't know he was gonna pop up over there now and be older.” So, I was playing that. Look, I love a good scene with dialogue, but sometimes, I find it really interesting when there’s not a lot said. And funnily enough, it’s sort of been the trademark of Bucky. Then, you’re watching behavior, you’re watching the eyes and you’re wondering what they’re thinking. You’re more involved and tuned in. So, it’s always fun for me to try to do as much as I can without dialogue. It’s exciting as an actor because then I wonder what people are getting out of it. In that aspect, it’s fun.

Some people still lament the fact that Steve didn’t give Bucky the shield in order to take on the mantle of Captain America. Bucky may have been brainwashed, but Captain America is such a symbolic position that you can’t just write off fifty years of transgressions by The Winter Soldier. I also have a hard time imagining that Bucky would even want that role. Since you know Bucky best, what’s your impression of Steve’s choice?

The MCU — as I saw it from my humble perspective — is a bit different in that regard to the comics. Where we arrived with him at the end felt more like he was in a place with a desire for some sort of release: to start over, start life again in a way, find out who he is again on his own and leave all this behind. Yes, it all happened, but at some point, you gotta own your mistakes, what happened and try to start over. That’s where I felt like the character was at the end of Avengers: Endgame. It’s also what he wanted for Steve. Like anybody that ends up traumatized by a war experience, he was affected by it for the rest of his life. So, what felt like a desire there was for a restart — for him and for Steve in a way. It didn’t necessarily feel like the shield was gonna be that. Steve going back in time and saying, “I’m gonna take something for me now. I’ve been here for all these guys, and I’ve done the best I could. I’m just a man, and I’m going to go back and try to live my life.” I feel that is something that Bucky would want for his best friend, and at the same time, Steve is saying to Bucky, “You’re going to go and do that, too. I’m not going to put this thing on you. We’re both going to live our lives — the lives that were actually taken from us back in the ‘40s when we enlisted.” So, that’s where I felt they were at the end of the movie. I don’t think there’s a desire or any conflicted thoughts about taking on that mantle. Sam, to me, was always the clear man to take on that mantle for numerous reasons, which also comes with so much more baggage that’s going to be explored in the show. I guess you’ll have to tune into Disney+ to find out why. (Laughs.) At the end of Endgame, for either Steve or Bucky, it’s really not about the shield.

I really loved Destroyer, and I thought you were great in it. It continues to blow my mind that Karyn Kusama isn’t able to do whatever she wants. Granted, she just got Universal’s Dracula…

I already emailed her about that. I said, “You know I’m from Romania, right?” and she goes, “Yes, yes, it’s very early — and there’s a pandemic. Hopefully, we’ll see you in four years.” (Laughs.)

What comes to mind when you reflect on that experience and working with Karyn?

Thank you for mentioning that movie. I love that movie, I love her and I had such a great time on it. I would love to keep finding projects with her — projects that kind of push you in a different direction. Again, this goes back to your earlier questions about these smaller movies, and I was referencing the vision of a director, how important that is and sometimes surrendering to that. That’s what that movie was for me. Karyn saw this character and movie in a certain way, and it was my job to learn that world, the tone and fit into it. I loved her as a director because she was so specific with me from the get-go. She also really allowed me to discover it on my own. We talked about the tattoos, the look, his history… It was very collaborative before we started, and then, when we started, it was actually very specific. She was one of those directors that made me feel so safe and confident in my choices, simply by the way she communicated with me. I think that came from her absolute confidence in what she wanted and what she saw. I really wish more people had seen that movie. Maybe they have by now; I don’t know. And obviously — Nicole Kidman. It was one of those dreams to work opposite her. It was a good package.

***

Endings, Beginnings is now available on digital HD and VOD on May 1.

#sebastian stan #sebstannews #long post #interviews

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lailannajacobs · 4 years

Text

Girl Going Nowhere

Pairing: Bucky x fem!reader

Request: Aaaanyways I had a small request about a Bucky x reader fanfic that I was wondering if you could do sometime if you get a break in your busy schedule. Maybe something along the lines of them both being in the avengers and reader has like a huge crush on Bucky but he sees her as a "kid" until boom they have some sorta fancy event where reader turns up lookin like a snacc and Bucky is like o.O when he sees her AND THEN THEY GET TOGETHER AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER ...

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: Little violence, pinch of angst but 99% fluff

A/N: thank you so much @winkwonk123456 I had a blast with this request! This is probably much longer than it had to be, but I couldn’t resist adding in some 2012 avengers type moments! Hope you enjoy, I’d love to know what you think! P.s Italics are flashbacks, all else is present <3

Girl Going Nowhere

“You know, I think you’re getting better at this,” Nat stared down at you, her smirk the only thing you could see.

A groan escaped your lips and you sunk further into the sparring mat. You’d done this enough times to know that you’d find a few new bruises tomorrow but that the worst part was right here, right now, trying to catch your breath.

“No, really,” She continued, “That was a whole minute longer than last time. Anyone else and you would have had them down.”

“Doesn’t feel like it,” You muttered, taking her extended hand.

Straightening you out, she laughed, “You’ve got your first mission in a couple days. Just making sure you’re ready. The more pain-”

“I know, I know,” You interrupted, stretching your neck from side to side, “The more pain I feel here, the less likely I am to be dead out there. Doesn’t make getting pounded into the ground any easier though.”

“But then it would ruin the fun for me,” She grinned, the kind that usually meant you’d be flat on your back within seconds.

The gym doors opened and you both looked up. Bucky and Sam walked in, gym bags slung over their shoulders, already dressed for a workout. They both smiled when they saw the two of you.

“Hey kid, ready for your first mission?” Bucky asked with a pleasant smile.

“Always,” You snapped.

It was a wonder you’d heard anything passed the word ‘kid’. The one syllable, three letter word made you want to punch something. Mainly him. Though half the time you weren’t sure which part of your body you wanted to connect with his. And that was the problem. He saw you as the new recruit, as nothing more than a… than a…you swore internally: a kid. It didn’t matter that you looked the same age or that you were a fully functioning adult, in his eyes, you were just a kid who’d shown up on the compound a year ago - SHIELD’s newest asset. That old fart could go to hell for all you cared.

“You boys had better not be late for dinner,” Nat shot them both a pointed look, “It’s Tony’s idea of a big family dinner while most of us are around and he’s expecting you.”

“Tony’s cooking?” Sam asked incredulously. Nat laughed, steering you toward the door. He grinned, “Yeah, didn’t think so.”

“Just be there!” She called over her shoulder. Then she turned her action to you, winced and then shrugged, “If you need it, come see me, I’ve got concealer that works for that kind of thing.”

And with that cryptic bit, she walked off with a joyful wave. You touched your cheek and winced. Shower first and then you’d deal with the damage done.

“I’m pretty sure I don’t need to tell you this,” Sam stepped onto the treadmill, a devilish smirk on his lips, “But every time you call her that, I’m sure it’s the time she throws a punch at you.”

Bucky started at a slow jog and shot him a grin in response. He didn’t need to explain to Sam that the reason he did it was to make sure she stayed far away from him and all his baggage. They’d gotten too close the first couple weeks after she’d arrived at the compound, and the moment he realized there might be something between them he’d quickly dismissed the thought, starting the whole ‘kid’ charade. He was an old man, out of his time, who’d done far too many terrible things to even consider anything even remotely romantic. Even if it was with another agent who’d seen her fair share of shit and was living the same lifestyle as he was. One who knew who and what he was. One who…

He punched the speed on his treadmill, pumping his legs to keep up with the gruelling increase in pace. He was doing it again. Making excuses for himself - for the future he caught himself imagining from time to time. Calling her ‘kid’ as often as he could was barely working to remind himself that he was better off alone. Not that it mattered all that much. Nowadays, half the time she looked like she wanted to kill him, so even if he did change his mind - which he wouldn’t - he was pretty sure she wasn’t interested.

“She’s going with you on her first mission. Did you ever figure out why Fury recruited her?” Sam asked between puffs of breath.

Bucky stared straight ahead, annoyed that he couldn’t push the treadmill further, “No idea. All I know if that if they waited a year to deem her mission ready, then they would have waited longer if she wasn’t.Though whatever the reason is, it must have something to do with the reason Wanda avoids her like the plague.”

“Well, she’s not me, but I’m sure you’ll be fine with her as your back up,” Sam laughed, though he was fighting so hard for breath it sounded more like a wheeze.

Bucky chuckled, “I can’t get used to having you at my back 24-7. You have to sleep at some point.”

“Unlike you people. All you supers are making me dizzy,” Sam huffed with mock seriousness, “Look at you. Are you even sweating?”

“I’m still waiting on Tony’s new treadmills,” Bucky laughed, slowing the machine, Nat’s warning fresh in his mind.

They kept on in silence for another ten minutes until deciding to call it. Dinner with all the Avengers and their families. Oddly enough, Bucky found that he no longer dreaded this kind of thing.

“What’s going on?” You demanded, looking up at the numbers above the doors that were no longer glowing.

Bucky’s eyes widened a bit as if he’d forgotten you were there but recovered quickly, “Even elevators in a place like this jam from time to time.”

You nodded slowly, silently wishing it would start moving again. You weren’t ready to be stuck in an elevator with a complete stranger - well, a person you’d only spoken to for about a minute. You’d arrived on the compound less than two weeks ago and you’d barely said a word to anyone and that was including Natasha Romanoff who’d been assigned to teach you how to fight and defend yourself. You were not ready for close proximity chitchat.

“You okay in enclosed spaces?” He asked, settling down on the floor and extending his feet.

He looked like he was settling in for a long wait, not one bit bothered by the fact that he was stuck in a hanging box hundreds of feet in the air. Of course, if you were as resilient as he was, you’d be completely at ease as well.

Thankfully, apart from your anxiety at being trapped with someone else, you were pretty calm, and crouched down until your butt was on the floor, your knees tucked tight against your chest. You stared at your knees, half hoping he wouldn’t talk to you and half hoping he would. Although you did it on purpose to keep to yourself, it was undeniably lonely. Maybe you could use a friend…you couldn’t remember the last time you’d had one.

“Just a little warning,” He began, his tone causing you to worry. You hadn’t thought there was anything to worry about, but the way he spoke made you wonder if you maybe there was, “If you ever get trapped in here with Peter, he will most definitely tell you about the time his classmates were stuck in an elevator. Every time.”

You looked up at him, relieved and surprised, “So this kind of thing happens often?”

“Weirdly enough, yeah,” He shrugged, a small smile on his face, “It’s the one elevator in the whole place that never seems to work properly, no matter what they do to it.”

“Would you be able to get us out if this thing goes down?” You were surprised by the question, but you didn’t know much about the others who lived here and the question had come out on its own.

He shrugged again, “I’d like to think so. What about you? Got any skills that’ll get us out of here?”

You clenched your fists, thinking of the pain on the redhead’s face when she had walked into that Hydra base. Controlling your powers wasn’t something you were good at yet and you were avoiding anyone else with the mutant gene until you knew for sure that you wouldn’t hurt anyone else. You’d been relieved to learn that secret serums and alien lifeforms weren’t affected - even though Dr. Banner thought that maybe your abilities could extend to even inanimate objects one day. You weren’t sure you wanted them to. Too many people had gotten hurt. It didn’t matter that they had promised you that you’d only be doing good from now on.

“Forget I asked the question,” Bucky said after your elongated silence. You were about to apologize, but it was as if he knew exactly what you were going to do and he wasn’t having any of it, “Whatever reason you’re here for, I’m sure it’s a good one. It doesn’t matter where you were before this…trust me.”

And by the way he said it, you did. If ghosts were real, you had a feeling you could have seen them hovering around him weights.

“I’ve actually got a more important question to ask you,” He continued.

“What’s that?” You were glad your voice wasn’t shaky.

“You know about Thor’s hammer, right?” Your nod was all he needed to continue, “We’ve got a debate going; if you put it in an elevator and it goes up, is the elevator worthy?”

You raised a brow, not sure if he was being serious or not, and when he smiled, you did too, starting to feel yourself relax for the first time since you got here.

There were three things you knew were about to happen in the next minute and a half. The first was that Clint wouldn’t miss; he never missed. The second was that, immediately afterwards, you’d find a small smirk on Wanda’s face despite her claims that she was not involved and was not paying attention. The third was the the commotion would get the rest of the Avengers, who were still in the kitchen, into the massive living space.

Thor’s booming laughter filled the room, shaking the apple balanced precariously on his head. Lightening crackled at his finger tips, his eyes bright and his stance wide. Loki was in the corner, looking extremely bored as he picked at the grime under his nails, but occasionally he’d glance up, a slight quirk to his lips. Bruce stood quietly on the far end of the room, taking in everything with a slightly worried look on his face. Despite the number of adults in the room, he was the only one who looked relatively responsible. Your eyes kept searching the room for the same person they always did. Sam had his brow raised, arms crossed over his chest as he watched in amusement, and Scott stood by his side, a wide grin on his face. Bucky was nowhere to be seen.

Thor lifted his hand, index finger and thumb touching to create a small circle just above his head, right in front of the apple. No one was worried for anyone’s safety, especially that Dum-E stood nearby, fire extinguisher on hand.

“I thought I was done with parlour tricks,” Clint shook his head as he lined up his shot.

“Come on dad!” His daughter Lila begged, “I told Cassie that you could hit anything!”

Clint couldn’t hold back a smile, “Thanks for the vote of confidence, honey.”

“Are we ready?” Thor laughed, “Because I’m starving!”

“Here we go,” Clint muttered.

Then he released the shot. The moment it flew between Thor’s fingers, lightening cackled, setting the arrow aflame. The arrow split the apple, and still burning, lodged into the wall behind him. The kids burst cheers and Thor’s face split into a a wide grin. Dum - E moved into action. Everyone else, including Wanda, couldn’t help but smile and applaud along with the kids. You relaxed into the wall behind you, days like this making you so thankful that Fury had found you.

“Are you trying to burn the place down before dinner?” Tony asked, strolling into the room, “Because I’m pretty sure a flaming arrow will do it. The kinds of things I have to put up-”

You wanted to follow the rest of what Tony was saying, but all you could see was Bucky who had come in behind with Steve at his side. He smiled and mouthed the words ‘hey kid’ before going off to see Sam. Tearing your gaze away, you managed to catch the end of what Tony was saying, telling everyone that dinner was ready. Everyone else began filing out of the room, but you stayed seated, wondering why you couldn’t seem to behave like a normal person whenever Bucky was around. You knew you’d have to get your act together before the mission or else you’d compromise the whole thing and put everyone in danger.

Bursts of laughter exploded from the dining room and you decided it was time you joined. However, you let Wanda go first, making sure to give her a wide birth as she passed. She’d forgiven you, but you couldn’t say there was anything friendly between the two of you; not that you blamed her. Sam, Steve and Bucky were talking in hushed tones, lagging behind, but you walked away as if you couldn’t care less about him. You had dinner to get to and you were going to enjoy yourself.

“Are you in position?” Bucky asked into the coms.

He looked around the main floor, watching the rich party goers mingle and observe the artefacts at the silent auction. From his position at the top of the staircase, he could see everything except for the one person he was supposed to be on this mission with. Bucky was used to missions where he barely had any information to go on, but he wasn’t used to rely on a person whose abilities were classified - even to him. Fury had told him that it was safer this way. Bucky had had no choice but to believe him. The only consolation was that by the end of the night, he’d know that much more about YN.

He scanned the room for her, but couldn’t find her usual workout attire. Of course, this being a black tie event, she was probably - surely - wearing something completely different, but it was hard to picture her wearing anything else.

“I’m following the target,” Her clipped voice came in through the coms, “He’s alone.”

“Don’t engage. Stand down,” Bucky ordered, taking off in a sprint.

This wasn’t the plan - at least not the plan he’d been given. His heart rate picked up as he made his way to the target’s office. The target - Jackson Cure - was deadly, an inhuman with mind manipulation and telepathy and YN was about to walk in there, alone. He swore and picked up the pace, ignoring the pointed glares in his direction.

He raced up the stairs, going so fast that he almost came face to face with the target himself. Before Bucky could even get a punch in, he lost control of his body. Fear crashed over him. He struggled to regain control, refusing to let something like this happen to him again, but his hand was reaching for his gun and he knew it wasn’t because he was about to shoot the target.

“You’re a strong one,” Cure purred, eyes lighting up at the challenge.

Bucky grit his teeth, fighting a loosing battle. From the corner of his eye, he noticed YN creep up from behind. He tried to warn her, get her to leave before anything happened to her, but his mouth wouldn’t work. He only succeeded in making Cure notice that something was up.

Cure turned and practically laughed when he saw her, “Come to join the fun then?”

She lifted her gun, pointing it at his head.

“I don’t think so, darling,” He grinned, “Why don’t you kill him instead?”

Bucky felt his body still despite his futile attempts to move. The only thing he could do was look at her and try to convey a million different things before she pulled the trigger.

But she didn’t.

“Lie down on the ground and put your hands behind your head,” She snarled, eyes flaring with hatred, “Do it now.”

Cure’s brows furrowed in what seemed like a mix between confusion and concentration.

She clicked the gun, “I said, do it now.”

“Your friend,” He started.

“You won’t do a damned thing to my friend,” She took a step forward, looking like she really would shoot him.

Before Bucky knew what was happening, Cure doubled over, howling in pain. Suddenly, he could move again, sucking in deep breaths of relief. But all he could do was stare dumbfounded at YN, who stood coldly a few feet away from Cure, watching. No, not watching. She was the reason he was in pain.

She stepped forward and his howls turned to groans. He watched as Cure tightened in a ball on the ground, looking like he was about to pass out.

“Sergeant Barnes,” He barely recognized her voice, but somehow it was enough it pull him out of his stupor, “Are you all right?”

He nodded.

“Then I need you to cuff him. Romanoff is waiting on the roof,” She spoke clinically, but her eyes kept darting toward him as if she was worried.

He followed her order, still out of breath and trying to piece his mind back together again. Cure was still in pain, but he couldn’t risk telling her to ease whatever it was that she was doing. Not right now.

When they made it to the roof, Bucky had regained most of his composure, but he noticed YN had sweat dripping down her temple. Cure was cuffed, but they didn’t know if it was safe for her to let go of her hold on him.

Nat slid open the helicopter door, “You can let him go,” She shouted over the sound o the blades, “His abilities won’t work with the cuffs on.”

YN looked skeptical but did as she was told, Cure sucking in a deep breath despite the fact that he was still powerless. She swayed and Bucky shot out his hand to steady her. She only stared at him, a look in her eyes he didn’t think he’d ever begin to understand.

“The limo will be here in a half an hour,” Nat continued, eyes darting between them, “Make sure you’re seen on the way out.”

They both nodded, watching util the helicopter was out of sight.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

He thought so. Though he knew he wouldn’t be is she hadn’t been there. Hell, she’d practically taken care of this whole thing singlehandedly. She may have been the new recruit, but there was no way he could get away with calling her kid anymore. Bucky didn’t know what would have happened if Cure had had the chance to poke around in his head longer than he had. He shuddered at the thought, trying to push it far away.

“I was supposed to have him subdued before you got there,” She continued when he said nothing, “That’s on me.”

Stunned, her realized she was trying to apologize to him. After everything she’d just done for him, she was trying to apologize.

“You saved my life. That’s on you,” He stated firmly, “I can never thank you enough for that, so please don’t apologize.”

She sighed, “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“I’m fine,” He said, turning to face her, “Thanks to you - holy shit.”

He stared at her, at a loss for words. Amidst all the action, he’d never really taken a good look at her. He’d known she was there, but hadn’t needed to know more than that.

“What?” She demanded, voice panicked as she whirled around to find the threat, “Bucky, what?”

He couldn’t help but stare at her in her gown. It was as if every feeling he’d pushed down since the day they’d met came rushing back to the surface, only to mix with the leftover adrenaline to hit him like a tidal wave. YN had always been beautiful, but tonight she was something else, coming through for him with confidence and kindness like he’d never seen at the compound. Bucky also had to admit that he’d always had a soft spot for a woman in a pretty dress.

Yet, all that managed to come out of his mouth was, “You look beautiful,” Which felt kind of lame and very much an understatement.

She stared back at him, an expression on her face he couldn’t read, then looked down at the dress she was wearing.

Finally, she shrugged, “You have Nat to thank for that. She picked it out.”

He extended his arm, trying to sort through all his emotions while not being able to help himself, “A dress is only as beautiful as the woman wearing it.”

His words caught him by surprise, the familiarity of them like a long lost friend he hadn’t seen since the forties. He knew he would never be the person he was before the war, but maybe he could find away to be something else; something different, but just as good.

You were dreading working with SHIELD and living on Tony Stark’s compound. It wasn’t that you wanted to keep being blackmailed by Hydra - working for them against your will - but you were pretty sure these people wouldn’t accept you. They were all heroes. You were…you were a coward who couldn’t fight her way out of a shitty problem.

Fury didn’t say a word. You weren’t sure if it was because small talk wasn’t his thing, if he was ignoring you, or if he was being nice and giving you you space. Either way, you were glad for it. You weren’t sure what to say. After almost killing one of his team members the night they’d raided the Hydra compound you were on, the only thing you’d been able to say had been a string of apologies. The only break in your profuse apologies had been the moment you’d agreed to work for him, both a penance for your actions and a freedom from the situation you’d been stuck in.

When you followed him through a set of clear, double doors, you were hit with the bustle of what felt like a small city. Not only were there soldiers smiling about, but there were women dressed in suits - both regular and some like you’d never seen before - men in jumpsuits, people with clipboards, screens above-head with flashing lights and what appeared to be a mechanical bird swooping precariously in and out of the crowds.

“You can’t be a bazaar half your flock is gone loose!” A laughing voice shouted, “You’re going to have to catch that thing before it pokes someone’s eye out!”

“Shut up and start helping me!” A different, much less amused, shouted back.

You searched for the voices, but couldn’t find the men they belonged to amid the crowd.

Fury muttered beside you, “They’ll both lose an eye if that thing takes out mine.”

You smirked, the action taking you by surprise.

Two men then stumbled into the room, shooing the bystanders out of the way. The crowd parted with little more than an eye-roll . The long haired one raised a gun but didn’t get to fire off a shot.

The man with wings strapped to his back gripped his friend’s arm and glared at him, “You kill that thing, the guys in tech are going to kill you.”

“How do you want to get it then? Because last I checked, you weren’t able to fly this model,” He retorted, shaking him off and taking aim again.

“If one of you fires a damn shot,” Fury warned, his voice no louder than it was before but easily carrying across the room, “I don’t care how accurate it was, you’re going to wish you didn’t.”

In unison, they turned their heads, noticing Fury for the first time. The bird swooped toward them and you almost cried out to warn them, watching as it aimed for the long haired one’s head but his hard shot out, the clang of metal on metal ringing out through the room. You blinked, not sure you’d seen correctly, but knowing in a place like this there was no way you were imagining things.

Wings grinned, noticing you, “See you’ve brought a new recruit.”

They wandered over, blue and brown eyes trained unnervingly on you.

You looked down instinctively at the bracelet they’d given you only a week ago. Judging by the pain free looks on their faces, it was working fine.

“No need to look worried,” Wings shot you another grin, this one more welcoming, “There are only idiots here who sometimes manage to save the world from time to time.”

What little good mood you’d found at watching them chase after that metal bird vanished quickly. None of the work you’d done for Hydra had anything to do with saving lives…And that was the big problem, wasn’t it?

“Maybe she should be worried,” Blue eyes said, and you stopped breathing thinking that he knew who you were and what you’d done, “She’s going to have to work with you and your unruly birds from time to time.”

Wings rolled his eyes, “Wait until she sees the Spiderkid or Lang.

“You’ll be fine here. Trust me," Long-hair shot you a small, knowing smile, that eased the pressure off your chest as he extended his hand, “I’m James and this is Sam. But you can call me Bucky.”

You didn’t know what to think about Bucky’s reaction. You were part worried, part thrilled, and also riding the high that came from finally being able to loosen the cap that you kept on your powers. You didn’t know what the hell to think.

So, arm in arm, you followed him back down to the auction. He was silent the whole way, almost contemplative, so you said nothing. The fury you’d felt at seeing that man get inside Bucky’s head and then try to kill him…It had been so blinding you were surprised you’d managed to keep hold of your powers long enough to keep him alive. You could still feel it simmering beneath the surface, threatening your hard earned control over your ability. The bracelet was in your clutch, but you’d promised yourself you wouldn’t ever need to use it. You never knew who could be in the vicinity and you couldn’t risk what you’d done to Wanda happen tonight.

“Bucky,” You whispered when you walked out onto the quiet sidewalk. You weren’t sure what you wanted to say, his name having slipped out as if on its own.

His gaze found yours, searching as if to make sure you were all right. The look wasn’t the same as the one he’d had on his face earlier, but it still sent shivers down your spine anyways, “YN? Are you cold?”

You shook your head, not sure what to do or say.

He dipped his head, trying to get a better look at your face.

“Are you hurt?” The words were a deep growl, surprising you.

After the way he’d looked at you when you’d saved his life - as if he was truly seeing you for the first time - you were taken back to that moment in the elevator when you’d thought there was something between you. But you pushed the thought away. You were just a kid in his eyes, SHIELD’s newest recruit. Whatever you’d thought you’d seen was only what you were hoping to see there. Nothing more.

“No. No I’m fine,” You muttered, forcing a smile, “The limo’s here.”

Something flickered across his face, but you ignored it, shoving out of his grip to get into the car. You melted into the seat and closed your eyes, leaning your head back against the headrest. You heard him get in and felt the limo take off.

“YN?” He murmured.

You opened your eyes and slide a glance his way, “Yeah?”

“I never did thank you for saving my life.”

You shrugged, “You would have done the same for me.”

“I would have,” He said forcefully, “Every damn time.”

There was something in his voice that made your breath catch in your throat, and you turned so that you were fully facing him. He leaned in closer.

“I mean it,” He whispered.

You felt yourself getting sucked in, but pulled back just in time, “Good thing for you that this kid can take care of herself.”

His brow furrowed, “What I saw out there was the work of a powerful woman who looked absolutely beautiful while being completely badass. You’re no kid, trust me.”

You stared at him, confused. He was telling you the exact opposite of what he’d been telling you for the past several month. It was hard to believe that doing your job could have changed his mind unless…he’d always believed the same thing? You were so confused. You didn’t know if you were simply imagining things or if this was real.

“Exactly,” You said, opting for humour to try and avoid your feelings, “I’m no kid. You’re just old.”

The corner of his mouth lifted and you found yourself being drawn in again.

“Good thing then, that that’s only technically. I’m pretty sure we’re actually the same age,” He whispered.

You were having trouble tearing your attention away from his eyes and murmured, “Why’s that a good thing?”

He answered by sliding his hand around to the nape of your neck and closing the distance so that his lips were on yours.

“You could always wear that dress around the compound, you know,” He joked when he pulled away, fingers trailing over the edge of the material until they rested on your thigh, “Practice fighting while dressed undercover.”

You laughed though the sound was cut off by the feeling of his lips on your neck, “How considerate of you, but I’m going to stick to my usual clothes.”

You felt his smile on your skin, “I’m not good at keeping my eyes off you either way.”

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky fluff #bucky fanfiction #marvel fic #MCU fic #fan fiction #fanfic

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snarkwrites · 3 years

Text

14.12, all I want for Christmas is you, tim speedle

Title: all i want for christmas is you

Theme: songs/music.. i swear to god, this relates to it.

Fandom / Character(s):CSI Miami / Tim Speedle x OFC, ‘blondie’ is the nickname.

Warnings: Uhhh... Fluff to the max?

Word Count: uhh.. 1k-ish?, roughly.

NOTE: I think I tried 3 times to make this work. Then it finally did. This wasn’t even remotely close to the original idea I had for it? But like.. It’s cute and I’m happy, although I apologize if it feels rushed. This is meant to be a one shot type thing, but.. Doesn’t mean I didn’t catch the ‘must write more for CSI’ bug whilst writing it, so we shall see. This is my second story for bae @champbucks 12 Days Of Christmas challenge, fyi. I made the graphics thing so do NOT steal it / repost... Do ya’ll know how damn HARD it is to find good ‘beachy christmas’ blue themed christmas photos? because if you didn’t, take me at my word... Anyway. Enough rambling. Enjoy, hopefully?

TAGGING:

@chasingeverybreakingwave is the only person on my CSI Miami tag list at the moment. However.. if you’d like to be tagged in my CSI writings, add yourself to the doc linked below or shoot me a message / dm on my main on here. :)

[ about my writing | masterlist | multifandom tag doc ]

9:00 PM [ Blondie ] Hey, Tim?

9:15 PM [ Blondie ] How would you feel about spending Christmas with me? Well, me spending Christmas with you… because I’m kind of standing in Miami International…

I sent the texts and took a few seconds to stop and pull myself together. To locate some kind of map or information center for the airport while I collected myself because if I were being totally honest with myself, this was a spur of the moment decision brought on by a recent wave of nostalgia and longing. I hadn’t actually… Stopped to consider that Tim might be involved with someone or have plans already. Or any of the thousand other possibilities that chose just that exact moment to actually occur to me.

Taking a few shaky breaths, I tried to shove all these sudden doubts and worries out of my head. If I found out he was happy and with someone else, I’d simply shelve what I came all this way to actually tell him at last. I’d just catch up with my best friend and spend a few days away from the freezing cold of New York.

With an exit strategy in place, I felt better. A little more confident. I spotted a kiosk that had a map of the airport in it’s entirety and I wandered over, locating where I was and where I needed to go and as I did that, my stomach fluttered a little. I was nervous and excited, all in the same time. This was.. Huge for me.

And sadly, this was something I should’ve done before he left New York a few years ago, I just hadn’t been able to bring myself to do it then. I knew Tim too well. If he felt the same, he never would’ve gotten away. He’d have stayed. Kept working hours he didn’t like, in a field he didn’t care for. Or he’d have wound up shelving his own dream entirely and simply done as his father suggested and taken over the family business.

I couldn’t let it happen.

As I wandered down to baggage claim, I walked myself through my half-formed plan. And I glanced at my phone every few seconds. By the time I was standing in the back of a long line at baggage claim, tapping my foot and staring at the baggage carousel impatiently for my bags, I’d sort of started to convince myself that what I was about to do was a dumb idea. And that I shouldn’t have come all this way without making contact first.

And lastly, that Tim Speedle wasn’t going to text me back.

So when my cell phone went off in my hand, I jumped a little and nearly dropped it on the tile flooring. I half expected the text to be from my own mother, the driving force behind my spontaneous decision, but to my surprise, it wasn’t.

XXX

“Hey, Speed?”

Tim Speed looked up from the evidence he’d been looking over for the better part of two hours now. Eric nodded to the desk, where Tim’s phone sat, screen lit up. “You got a text, man.” Eric stepped into the room as he said it, grabbing the phone off the desk, intending to take it over to the part of the lab Tim was standing in.

His eyes caught on the name and he wiggled his brows at his best friend in teasing. “Who’s Blondie, Speed?’

Tim’s head snapped up and he hurried over, practically snatching the phone from Eric’s hand as he answered with a shrug, “A friend from home. I wonder why she’s textin now? We haven’t talked in a long time, it’s been years..” Tim trailed off, unlocking his phone, brown eyes darting over the texts as a soft smirk played at his mouth, tugging the corners upward.

Eric leaned against the wall, arms folded over his chest. “Friends don’t make you smile like a goofball. Start talkin, Speed.”

Tim shrugged and explained the whole thing, adding at the end, “That one time we were talking about missed chances and regrets.. That’s her.”

“The blonde from that picture on your fridge? Damn.” Eric let out a low whistle. “Still say I don’t see why you didn’t just come clean and tell her how you really felt before you left town.”

“I tried, Delko. Everybody’s not smooth like you.”

“Literally all you had to do, Speed, was open your damn mouth. It’s bullshit, you just copped out.” Eric shrugged and smirked at Tim as he said it, especially when he saw that his words had actually gotten a rise out of his best friend. He eyed the phone in Tim’s hand and nodded to it. “Well? You answerin?”

“Hell yeah, when you remove your nosy ass from my lab, Delko.”

“Damn grouch. Hey, Tim?. Don’t think. Just act. Do somethin about this, yeah? You should’ve a long time ago. You’re getting a chance here, man.. take it.” Eric advised before finally leaving the lab, chuckling to himself as he went.

Tim shut the door behind his friend and laughed, leaning himself against the closed door as he spent the next five and a half minutes trying to figure out exactly how the hell to respond.

His heart was racing. One, he’d never thought she’d come to Miami and he found himself wondering why she had now. Two, just seeing her name show up on his phone bought it all rushing back. With more urgency.

10:30 PM [ Speed ] You’re in Miami.. Right now?

10:35 PM [ Speed ] I’m on my way. I just came by the lab to look over some stuff. Stay at the airport, okay? I’ll pick you up. We’ll grab some food or something.

He debated heavily on sending a third text, telling her he missed her, among other things, but he put it off. After all, he didn’t even know if she was here alone… Or why she was here to begin with.

,, but she’s here man. That really should be all that matters. Especially when you were just thinking about her, not even two days ago.” he thought to himself as he slipped on the oversized leather jacket he’d discarded upon entering the lab earlier. After shutting off the lights and locking the door behind him, he hurried out to the parking garage to where he’d parked the Ducati hours before. And the entire time, he couldn’t stop the happy smirk that came.

Nothing mattered but getting to her. Seeing her again.

XXX

My cell phone went off again. By this point, I’d had enough time to wrap my head around Tim being on his way to pick me up. Seeing him again after all this time. I was just coming back up the escalator to the waiting area to find a seat. I stopped a few feet away from the escalator and dug around, finding my phone.

11:00 PM [ Speed ] I think I see you.

11:03 PM [ Speed ] Turn around.

I was just finishing the last text as All I Want For Christmas Is You began to play over the speakers throughout the airport terminal and I felt his hand on my shoulder, turning me around to face him.

And seeing him again after all this time, something in me just snapped. As opposed to a friendly hug hello, I was climbing into his arms, my legs wrapping around his waist. Those calloused hands settled on my lower back, squeezing as he chuckled. My fingers carded through his hair and the wrapping around the roses in his hands crinkled. The roses settled on the floor and when my body rubbed against his, a quiet groan escaped in the slim margin of space that remained between our mouths for the moment. “Missed you so damn much.” we both mumbled the words at the same time as his mouth connected with mine, his lips latching onto my lower lip, nipping at it. My tongue slipped past his lips and his fingertips dug into my lower back as he chuckled into the kiss.

The current Christmas song playing, the crowd as it rushed past, everything pretty much fell away as the kiss deepened and one of his hands left it’s resting place against my lower back to tangle in my hair. Neither one of us wanted the kiss to break. Honestly, I think I may have been in a little shock that I’d just… Reacted to seeing him like that, without a seconds thought or hesitation. But the kiss had to break so that we could catch our breaths and when it did, I climbed out of his arms, dragging the back of my hand over kiss swollen lips as Tim bent, retrieving the fallen bouquet of roses off of the tiled floor. “I,uhh..” he held them out and I gave a soft laugh, raising to tiptoe and clutching at the front of his leather jacket as I pressed my lips against his. “They’re beautiful… Any reason?” I questioned, only half in teasing because my breath caught in my throat as I wondered if he’d answer.

“Because I should’ve done.. Something.. About the way I feel a long time ago. Before I left, princess.”

My jaw dropped and he shifted his feet around, staring down at me nervously for a few seconds. “Funny you should mention it, Speed.. That’s kind of what bought me all the way here…” I gave him a soft and slightly teasing smile as I watched his jaw drop.

“Wait.. Just to be clear… you’re saying you feel the same way, yeah?” his voice was husky against my mouth as he leaned down, pulling me against him for another kiss as I mumbled quietly, “Mhm. All I wanted for Christmas was you. So here I am, Tim.”

He scooped me up and started to hurry towards the doors of the airport after grabbing my rolling suitcase and I laughed. “You in a hurry?”

“Yeah, see.. I kind of have this real hot date.” Tim teased as we stepped out into the cool Miami breeze...

#12daysofchristmas #12 days of christmas #tim speedle #tim speedle fanfiction #tim speedle fanfic #tim speedle imagine #tim speedle imagines #tim speedle one shot #my writing; tim speedle #my fics; tim speedle #my one shots; tim speedle #// this is so cornball cheesy but I am here for it and lowkey proud I made it work out the way it did

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mychemicalrachel · 4 years

Text

Right Here

Takes place right after Eddie Begins. After narrowly avoiding death and being buried alive, Eddie has a question for Buck.

Word count; 1776

Read it on Ao3!

He can’t sleep.

Even if he could, he’s not sure he would want to.

Everytime he closes his eyes, he sees Eddie; covered in mud, buried in the sodden earth, alone and scared. He sees himself digging, screaming, trying to reach him. Trying to let him know he wasn’t alone, that Buck was right there, that he’d always been right there.

If the memories are hitting him this hard while he’s awake, Buck knows that sleep is a long way off. He makes himself some tea and settles into the couch, preparing for a long night.

He flips through channels and turns on the Xbox, only to turn it off again a few minutes later. He scrolls aimlessly through Netflix and starts shows he can’t focus enough attention on, then starts the whole searching process over, trying to find something else to watch. Something to occupy his mind so he isn’t thinking so damn much.

It’s not until a knock sounds for the second time that it earns Buck’s attention. A brief, fleeting acknowledgement; someone is here. And just as quickly, it’s dismissed; someone is here and if he ignores them, they’ll go away. He settles back, sips his tea, and starts another show.

He’s almost forgotten it completely when the door opens, and that sound warrants a lot more attention than just a knock. He tries to remember coming home; He’s fairly certain he locked the door. Even in his mechanical state, it’s habit. And that means that whoever is here has a key.

He waits, head inclined toward the entrance.

“Buck?”

He blinks. “Eddie?” Buck is on his feet before Eddie even rounds the corner. At first he thinks he must be imagining it-- maybe he fell asleep after all and this is just a dream. But Eddie hesitates in the entryway and the pause gives Buck enough clarity of mind to realize it’s not a dream.

“What are you doing here?” Buck demands. He starts forward just as Eddie does, and they both freeze again. “Come in here. Sit down. What are you doing here?” he asks again. He shoves the remote and Xbox controller off onto the floor and ushers Eddie to take a seat on the couch. “You should be resting. You look like hell.”

Eddie grimaces, but laughs nonetheless. “You should talk. Did I wake you up?”

Buck shakes his head. “Can’t sleep.”

“Me neither.”

After the tsunami, Buck recalls a lot of nightmares. He remembers waking up in a cold sweat, shouting Christopher’s name. There were nights and days he spent awake, replaying the moment in his mind, telling Eddie that he’d lost his son.

He can’t even begin to imagine the sort of nightmares Eddie is fighting right now.

“You should be resting, at least.”

“I’m fine,” Eddie says, but he shifts uneasily on the couch. He’s turned to face Buck, one leg pulled up under him, hands splayed on his knees like he’s bracing for impact.

“You were buried alive,” Buck reminds him.

“I remember,” Eddie says. “And I am fine, Buck. Physically. But… That’s kind of why I’m here.” He takes a breath and Buck feels it, too; that moment of impact, bracing for a collision. He waits for whatever it is Eddie might say.

Silence passes in waves, each second another tsunami hitting Buck again and again. He wants to press for more, but he’s afraid of pushing Eddie too far, pushing him away. He stays quiet.

Eventually Eddie swallows, the knot in his throat bobbing along as he speaks. “Back when I was in Afghanistan, there was an attack. They shot down the helicopter. There was fire and sand everywhere, I was choking on it. And I was trying to save everyone, but I got shot. I was bleeding and I was just thinking about….about everything. About my life.”

He sniffles, wiping a hand across his nose. Buck watches a tear splatter on his jeans, but doesn’t say a word.

“I was so scared,” Eddie admits with trembling lips. “That was the only time really that I thought I might die over there.”

Buck’s brow creases. A few times, in the almost two years that Buck had known him, Eddie talked about serving. Mostly it was about the friends, the family, he had while he was over there. But he’d never heard this story. He wonders why he’s hearing it now, of all times, but he knows Eddie needs to get this out in order to say whatever it is he came here to say.

“I had this picture of Christopher and Shannon. It was taken on his fifth birthday. They were smiling, and Cristopher looked so happy. I knew…” Eddie pauses, breathing, to swipe a finger across his lower lip. “I knew that they had each other. If anything happened, if I didn’t come home, I knew that they would be okay because they had each other.”

“But you didn’t die,” Buck says, because he has to say something. He feels the urgency swell to remind both himself and Eddie of this, that he is alive, he’s okay, that he’s here. “You made it home for them.”

Eddie nods. “I knew being a firefighter was dangerous, but last night…”

He trails off and for a long time Buck thinks maybe he won’t even finish. That’s the end of the story, the conversation is over. But Eddie sits up straighter, a look of resolve hardening his features when he finally meets Buck’s eyes. “Last night, I really thought I wouldn’t get out of there. I thought I was gonna die, Buck.”

“What are you saying, Eddie?” Buck asks, because he hates the way this sounds. It was the tone of voice Maddie had used when she explained that she was moving away with Doug. The voice Abby had used before she boarded a plane and never looked back. It was the sound of someone leaving, of being left behind, and Buck was all too familiar with that sound.

The idea of losing Eddie, too…

He saw himself once again, with dirt under his fingernails as he fought to dig Eddie out.

“Before,” Eddie said, stressing each word, willing Buck to understand, “if anything happened to me, Shannon was there. But she’s dead. I am all Christopher has left. If something happened-- if I hadn’t gotten out of there last night--”

“But you did,” Buck tells him.

Eddie huffs in exasperation. “Will you be quiet for two minutes, Buck? I’m trying to ask you something.”

“It sounds like you’re breaking up with me,” Buck says. And he knows how ridiculous it sounds. It feels ridiculous. There’s nothing between them, nothing tangible at least. Nothing to break but a friendship and a co-workmanship. Unless…

“Are you quitting? Because you can’t do that, Eddie. Even Bobby won’t accept a resignation right now. You’re under a lot of stress--”

“Dammit, Buck,” Eddie exclaims. “I’m not resigning. I’m trying to ask you to be Christopher’s godfather!”

The words hang heavy between them and Buck runs them through his head again, then a third time to make sure he’s heard them right. When he’s certain he has, he asks, “What?”

Eddie sighs. “Christopher loves you. You’re my best friend. I told you before, Buck, I trust you more than anyone in the world to take care of him, and I meant that.

“That was for babysitting!” Buck shouts. “For taking care of him for a few hours. Not raising him!”

“Look,” Eddie laughs, and Buck immediately feels some of the tension leave his body. “You don’t have to answer right now. And even if you say yes, it’s not like I’m expecting to drop dead tomorrow. It’s just a what if.”

“Pretty morbid what if.”

Eddie tilts his head, studying Buck. “When you became a firefighter, did you draw up a will?”

Buck thinks for a second. “Yeah,” he admits. But it was nothing super serious. It was a formality. A distant safety net for if anything ever happened on the job. But Buck didn’t have anything of value anyway, he just left everything to Maddie; a sick sort of joke that she would deal with all of his baggage, emotional and otherwise, even after he was dead and gone. But this…

This is Eddie asking him to be Christopher’s godfather. His legal guardian if anything should happen to Eddie.

This was very much real.

“You can’t put a kid in a will, Buck,” Eddie says. The force of the words are lessened with a shrug. “This is just my way of making sure Chris is taken care of. If anything ever happens.”

“What about your parents?” Buck asks, and immediately knows he hit a sore spot when Eddie grimaces.

“They love him,” Eddie concedes. “But there’s a reason we left Texas.”

“But--” Buck gapes. “Why not Bobby and Athena? Or Hen? They have actual kids, Eddie. I don’t know the first thing about being a parent. Why me?”

Eddie watches him, his gaze soft and open when he smiles. “You love him, probably as much as I do. The rest you figure out as you go. You think I had any idea what I was doing at first?”

“You had years of practice,” Buck says.

Eddie nods. “And hopefully I’ll have a lot more years left. But if I don’t--”

“Are you sure about this?”

“One hundred percent, Buck.” Eddie leans forward, his hand coming to rest on Buck’s. It’s warm in a way Buck doesn’t look at too closely-- he just allows himself to enjoy it. “I trust you.”

“Yeah,” he says, and then nods with more determination. “Yeah, Eddie. Of course. You know I’d do anything for you and Chris.”

Eddie squeezes his hand once more, but doesn’t pull away. He leaves them there, their hands tangled on Buck’s knee. He grins, “That’s how I know I’m making the right choice. Now scoot over,” he shoves at Buck, kicking his shoes off onto the floor and pulling his legs up onto the couch. “You were right about needing rest. What are you watching?”

Buck lets himself be manhandled into a comfortable position before restarting the show he had picked, but they don’t make it past the opening credits before he hears Eddie snoring peacefully on his shoulder.

He glances down, watching Eddie’s chest rise and fall. He counts the breaths and lets his own breathing fall into the same rhythm. It makes it all the more real, like they’re sharing one set of lungs. He finally falls asleep knowing that Eddie is alive, that he’s safe. That he’s right here, exactly where he’s supposed to be.

#911 #9-1-1 #buddie #buck x eddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #this has been sitting half finished in my drafts for two weeks #and tonights episode gave me the motivation to finish it #please read it #i need validation #mine #Right Here

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kkulmoon · 4 years

Text

SUGAR & SALT | The First Snow Has Melted (2)

pairing(s): rich boy!kim taehyung x baker!reader (f) + park jimin x named OC & kim seokjin x named OC

genre: angst (?), slice of life, romance, smut (later chapters), slow burn, fluff (occasional), s2l, e2l, countryside-ish au

word count: 6.7k

rating: pg

a/n: i took way too long to update this 🤡(it won’t happen again 🥺) and i am doing so with such a shitty chapter lol but hey at least I managed to finish it. also thank you to my lovely beta reader for giving me much needed advice about where i should go with this, @scvkjin, angie you’re truly an angel 💕😭

warnings: some swearing

synopsis: You’re a small town baker, whose business is on the line following questionable decisions made by your town’s political board. You decide to take action in order to salvage your reputation as the town’s favourite baker.

What you didn’t expect was to fight for your precious secular life that keeps being invaded by the best friend of the owner of your rivalling bakery, Taehyung. He also happens to be the one in charge of your lack sugar, due to a minor (depending on the point of view) mistake, though he’s known as quite the conscientious count.

You’re a baker.

A bad one, it seems. Even with Taehyung, Jimin, Seokjin and Ada, the finest products and tools at your disposal, you seem to cook up a disappointing dish. So whose fault is it really?

☁︎ previous chapter ☁︎

The journey back is just as agonising if not more. You keep your eyes closed in hopes of catching some sleep but all in vain.

Thump! Taehyung's legs are about to drive you insane. You move your jacket's hoodie to cover your ears, hoping he gets the memo. He keeps going. It is really annoying but you don’t you feel like telling him to stop and possibly make him more anxious than he already was, so you hold out. A few minutes pass by and he seems to calm himself, so you decide to take down your hood. To your right Ada's head lays on Jimin shoulders as their chest oscillate, up and down, at a steady rhythm.

You're brought back to your high school days, when the two fell in love for the first time. Jimin was your go-to friend, who also happened to be your only friend. Ada was, and still is, a hopeful admirer in disguise. It's actually quite hard for you to comprehend how two people can be so obvious about their feelings while simultaneously being negligent about the subject of their affection.

You shake your head. You've reached the threshold for your daily analysis of your best friends' relationship. You shift in your seat and dangle your feet. The boredom is crippling and the humid air in the bus is making your hair frizzy.

"Arghhhhhh!"

Itching for some action , you turn to your right and say, "What's the matter?"

"Is everyone in Warringham like you?" Taehyung wonders. He stares straight at you making you tilt your head back to the left.

While you're glad at the increase in activity, you aren't sure that being indirectly insulted is the type of action you are currently looking for. But there's nothing better for you to do. Indulging in some self deprecation wouldn't be too bad given your recent behaviour.

"If you're referring to being hostile, then not so much," you say, thinking about the new bakery that recently open across from yours, "but they are weary, change isn't really an appreciated thing."

"So they don't like outsiders?" he pushes.

"No and yes. Outsiders that are trying to change things, that's what they don't appreciate."

Taehyung drags his hand down his face. "Goodness gracious, I guess I will have to deal with the backlash at some point."

You could have told Taehyung that backlash in Warringham is more like rage. However you don't feel like that is your responsibility, so you hold your mouth shut. You're sure Jimin would have his back. Brotherly love or whatnot.

"By the way, why are you asking me this," you add, "don't you already live in Warringham?"

"Well yeah, technically, but it hasn't been that long. I had only been there for about two weeks before I followed Jimin here. I didn't have much to do so I stayed in for the most part."

You truly want to scoff at Taehyung's reply but you think of one word: Jimin. People truly do live different lives. You wish you had the privilege of staying at home. You wish your mom and your brother had the privilege of staying at home. Maybe things would have turned out different for you. Maybe you would have been different and befriending Taehyung wouldn't feel like combing your hair while it's dry, meaning impossible.

"Why did you move to Warringham anyways?"

You raise your eyebrows while bracing yourself. This should be a good one.

"I needed some change. I got bored of the city, as one does, and a friend needed some help," he says matter of factly.

"Ahhh, exactly as one does." You nod as the sides of your lips drag down.

To feign familiarity with such a concept is all you can do at the moment. Your lives and reasoning are being revealed to be so diametrically opposed, you doubt that your individual bonds to Jimin would be enough to allow the two of you to connect.

You try to find a way to end the conversation. Talking to Taehyung only seems to involve judgement one way or the another. Taehyung's body shifts towards you. You guess he's in a talkative mood, now that he has calmed down. But you are not, at least not anymore.

So you pull your hood up back onto your head. For the first time since you bought the jacket, you're happy it's too big for you. That way you get to avoid glancing or being glanced at by unwanted subjects. The rest of the ride back is silent, just as before. Lucky for you it's nothing unusual, just how you like it.

Quick and heavy steps sound against the gravel in front of your porch. You would already be on your bed hugging your phone by now had it not been for you having to drag both yours and Ada's suitcases into the house.

Apparently her and Jimin needed some privacy. For what? You really don't know, what else would they need to talk about? They have been attached at their hips for the past two weeks one could almost think that she went on vacation with him and not you. In fact, that’s probably what people thought. You remember catching elderly couples and young parents glancing cutely at the pair.

She had said, and you remember it clearly: 'This will be a time for me and you to simply relax and have fun together. Make some new golden memories in a shitty place’.

Lies, lies, lies.

You remind yourself to not easily cave in next time she suggests you do a common activity. That isn't even the worst part. You were made to leave your beloved work phone. It’s not that you didn’t believe in your staff, but the bakery is the only thing you’re remotely passionate about. Your life revolves around it, leaving it behind even for just two weeks, was a harder task that you thought it would be.

You huff as you use the little of your remaining force to lift Ada's suitcase up the few stairs on your porch. For someone who seemed to have worn pretty much the same clothes during your stay at Punniton her bag sure was heavy. Or it must probably be all the baggage she carries from her failed romantic endeavours. Yes, you just said that, because once again, yes you're that type of friend. Loving, supporting but judgemental and blunt nonetheless.

You strut all the way to your room while the odd bone crack disturbs you. For all the money you paid for your stay at Punniton you sure as hell deserved better beds. Bed with wire lattices? Come on, it's not like we were going to boarding school.

You may need to leave a bad yelp review. It was your seventh year there after all, you're bound to feel entitled to some things at some point. Anyways, it's not like yelp reviews really count to anyone outside of the city, so you'll simply just write one to satisfy your own petty behaviour.

You walk to the end of your room to open the window. The air is stale and mixed with another scent that you can't quite catch. You turn to face your bedside table. HA! On it there is a moldy orange. The orange you should have taken taken with you for the train ride to Punniton.

With a pair of scissors at your disposal you poke into the orange. Something you soon realise you shouldn't have done now that there's a small puddle of orange juice on your table. You hurry into the kitchen to throw it away. While you're at it you glance outside through the kitchen window. What are they talking about?

Ada's head turns towards you and you duck as fast as you can. You creepily lift your head back up to find that they are kissing. The creases that form on your forehead would be able to be seen from miles away. You're also sure that someone could inspect the back of your throat right now from how wide your mouth is open. It has been two weeks, and they are already locking lips!?

Huh, you guess it must be easy to get over a couple years of emotional trauma if you're really in love with one another. You spend some more time analysing their kiss. Was is a 'I'll see you soon 'kind of kiss, or the 'I love you but i can't tell you' kind of kiss, or the 'I have been wanting to kiss you for the last 2 weeks' kind of kiss.

For someone who claims to be trying their best to live their best life, you really are concerned with other people's problems. But how couldn't you? If you're thinking logically, which you always are, hurt Ada equals you having to mend her wounds. On top of that you would also have to deal with another strain to yours and Jimin's friendship.

So yes, them trying to get together again is just as much their business as it's yours. If things go wrong you'll be the one standing between the crossfire and while the last one was quite mild, you believe years of pent up frustration will blow up this time.

As much as you would like to keep watching them go at it, it feels too private and you're not a creep so you look away and walk back to your room. You reach for your bedside table's drawer to get a hold of your phone so you can turn it on.

There's two possible scenarios. First one, no one messaged you, in which case everything is under control. Or, no one messaged you because they either forgot or deemed whatever happened to be too serious to say over text.

The moment you type in your code while your phone tries its best to recognise the house's wifi, you're so startled you automatically get up from your bed.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Okay, so you obviously got messages and now you are scared. You navigate your way to your messages. Eight missed messages from Joe, one of your staff.

December 17th

[09:10] (Joe) Hello Y/N. So we have a problem...

[10:05] (Joe) Hello? Are you there?

[10:15] (Joe) I don't know if you're getting these messages but I'll go ahead and explain the situation.

[10:18] (Joe) So we just got an email from the municipality saying that there was an inconvenience with one of the papers you sent in for the bakery's inventory.

[10.20] (Joe) They have got everything else ordered and it should arrive on time. However, the paper for the sugar order can't be found anywhere.

December 18th

[10.35] (Joe) You haven't answered and nobody knows where you went for vacation. The only person who would know also most likely happens to be with you.

[10.38] (Joe) Since it is a time of crisis I went over your log for the bakery's inventory and rewrote a sugar order based on your notes. So I have now gone to the municipality and deposited the order papers.

December 20th

[08.20] (Joe) So the municipality just got back to us. They have said that the order is now registered however there will be a month long delay before it arrives given the fact that it was ordered during a vacation and other businesses most likely are before us in the deliveries.

This. This is why caring for things is something you try to avoid. You could do everything right from your end and yet there's no guarantee that you would at least get rewarded for that. In fact, worst case scenario you could even end up being wrongly penalised for it. That's where you are currently standing and you feel awful and betrayed. Which is a funny thing since this wasn't even done by someone you actually knew. The downside to taking things and caring for them...

Your body stays in a paralysed state as you try to rack your brain for any possible solution to the situation. The only thing you can come up with is complaining. Your staff had already done their best to lessen the damages. Now all you need is someone to dump your frustrations on so that you can feel somewhat productive and needed.

Also being head chef means showcasing the type of qualities that a leader should have so you need to come up with something to do in order to make sure that your employees don't think any less of you. Going to the municipality's building seems like the best option.

It would allow your subordinates to see your dedication to work but also allow you to complain to your heart's content. This means feeding other's expectations of you all while feeding your own ego. Two birds, one stone.

You're in the middle of typing away furiously, when Ada steps into your room, leaning against the door frame.

"By the way I thought about keeping this to myself at first but then I thought, you know what I should treat my friends the way I want them to treat me so here we go...", she starts.

"I'vechosentopursuethisthingthat'sgoingonbetweenmeandJimin,"she blurts it out and still you manage to catch everything.

That's how focused your mind was even if you are busy typing back a response to Joe, it's still on high alert.

"Uh, hellooo? Did you hear what I just said"

“Ahh uhh, got it. Capiche. Good luck”

"That's all?"

"I mean can I talk you out of it and bring up past sad memories?"

" Well, no... I would rather you not"

"Then i repeat, good luck," you take a break from your phone screen to look at her, "I really hope it works out for you this time around. They say third time's a charm, right?"

"Yeah they do....hopefully it's true for us"

It's quite rare for someone as cold as Ada to openly share her doubts when it comes to private matters. You have had to battle her in the past to get her to tell you what exactly happened between her and Jimin. You get up and walk up to her. Black hair strands tickle your shoulder before you can engulf her entire body in a big comforting hug.

"I'm just really scared."

"Take it as a good sign. You like him. At least you know you're not only halfway into it like the time you tried to date Louis just to make Jimin jealous."

You try your best to sound comforting and play the best friend part. It crossed your mind to be more harsh with her about her decision, but you decided against it. Just because you may personally have a hard time dealing with romantic matters doesn't mean you need to project that onto her.

She is going through a rough patch as it is. You make a mental note to message Jimin about the matter. Ada may not want you to talk about it with him, but still you will, not as Ada's best friend but as his.

Ada steps back from the hug and blinks hastily. "Anyways, why did you look so irritated?”

"There's some problem with the bakery's inventory so I need to go the municipality to complain," you explain.

"Just to complain?"

"I mean yeah, but also deal with the logistics of it all you know," you cough out the answer.

"Uh huh, I see. Just don't cause too much trouble or make a scene. I don't want to have to defend you in court knowing you're in the wrong."

"Yes Ma'm. I'll try," you retort mumbling the last statement.

"Alright, then we're all good. Also I ordered pizza it should be here in 20 so you can come out then."

You vigorously nod your head.

Nice fit. Head full of a mix of good arguments and well camouflaged arguments made to sound good when truthfully they are quite groundless. Throat cleared. Chin up. Power pose on. You felt like you could rule the world. Well, maybe the world is too much of an ambitious thought. You want to feel powerful but remain humble, so let's settle for Warringham. Yes, you feel like you could rule Warringham. Anyways, that not really the point. The point is:

You are ready to make a scene.

This better work. You did not get dolled up and decide to swap your sneakers for some heeled boots in order to be ignored and left high and dry. For once, you hoped that you could use humans' blatant incline for vanity and love of beautiful looking to your disposal. Your contouring better make sure you can make up for the mess that the municipality created.

You strut as gracefully as possible. The automatic doors slide open in front of you and you panic slightly at the sudden gush of air that hits your face. Your hairstyle better not get ruined. The reception is overseen by some poor intern that's looking to curb her boredom by playing with her nails or trying to figure out the different ways she could scratch her different body parts without people taking notice.

You can't help but feel like a blessing. You are about to liven up this kid's work place. The kid had exactly thirty-five seconds left of boredom. That's how long you think it will take to walk to the reception desk in the most gracious yet intimidating manner possible. The countdown starts as you take your first step.

K'duh. K'duh. K'duh. K'duh. K'duh.

You arrive at the desk, feeling even more excited. The intern's eyes are still wandering around. Yes, you feel like a superhero that could defeat all of the world's injustices but you are pretty sure invisibility isn't one of your strengths. You clear your throat.

The intern lifts her blue eyes to look at me. Eyeballs bulging out of their skull. What a way to feign interest.

"How could I help you ma'am?"

To be quite honest, you were feeling a bit sorry to have to put the intern through a scene. She probably didn't know how to deal with such situations. Or, you could just be getting cold feet. Things always sound better in theory, in your head, where they should be left.

"Uhm, yes...," you shuffle through your handbag to find your documents.

Actually, Ada's handbag. What?! You needed to match with your dolled up cover. Once you find them, you squint your eyes in hopes of catching the name on the name plate attached to her blazer.

"Yes, Vera. I'm looking to talk with the person in charge of the economics department here. Or maybe just management"

You were thinking about what sort scene to pull. On a scale from Becky to Susan how petty did you really feel being.

"I'm sorry but the concerned person is currently not in right now."

You take a long look at Vera. Is she really going to pull that move on you just because she is too lazy to go look for the person?

"Can you then check if there's someone else I could talk to?" you sneer.

"Well I would need to know what the errand is about exactly," she continues to use her service voice.

"I'm am the head baker at the municipality owned bakery, you know the one in the town centre. My orders were messed up and I need to talk to someone in charge to know how I am supposed to deal with the consequences. You know do the things that people in charge of businesses do."

"I would really love to help you ma'am, but the person in charge of economics has yet to arrive. I do not know who it is as they are starting today."

Ok, so maybe Vera was annoying but she didn't look like a liar. It must be a sign not even the world wants you to go ham with your complaints.

"Y/N?"

Who do you know that works for the municipality? You turn around to realise that it's in fact no one because you don't know the person standing in front of you. Not personally at least. But oh my my my. You wish you could get to know him physically. Que? What is wrong with you Y/N, get a grip on yourself. He may not appease your mind or your feelings, but your eyes are heaving a feast at the very moment.

"Oh hi Taehyung, fancy seeing you here?!"

'Fancy seeing you here', really!? Just because you're dolled up and everything doesn't mean you are on the same level of fancy that his city self is. Once, again get a grip Y/N.

"I would say the same but unless you work here people usually only come in if they are having problems," he says as he walks closer to you. Against your better judgement you walk closer as well.

You're facing each other, standing right in front of the reception desk. In your periphery, you can see the shift of a body. Vera must be intrigued for some reason.

"Well you hit the nail on the head. I was trying to have Vera here help me, but she says she can't," you say as you point to your left.

"It's actually they, ma'am not she," she retorts and you bite your bottom lip. Why in the heck does she keep calling you ma'am.

Taehyung turns to her, "Anytime she's here and she needs help you can just call my office phone," he says and you don't know why all of a sudden his hotness points soar through the roof as if he had collected enough coins to get a power star just like in Mario Bros. You may have a thing for people with saviour complex you realise.

"Of course, Mr...," Vera probes with a wide smile and fascinated eyes.

"Kim. Kim Taehyung"

Kim Taehyung. You mumble his name. It has a nice ring to it, you can't lie.

"Oh and I don't know what the occasion is but you look really nice," he says and you reprimand yourself for how good his statement makes you feel. Who are you? You do not need validation from anyone. No, you don't. However, deep down you know that a little appreciation, even from someone you say you don't like, goes a long way.

"Oh this...," you point at yourself, "pfft, nothing much just felt like getting dolled up." Oooh, what a big fat liar you are. And yet, you have the audacity to criticise Ada.

He nods his head at you and gives you a thumbs up. There you go again making things awkward. You can already imagine the sort of things he will tell Jimin about you and none of them are positive.

"You look good too...," your voice wanders.

You could have easily added to your statement, because unlike his, it wasn't a lie. You could hate him, which you don't. You could find him uncomfortable, which you do. But you couldn't lie about his fortune in the visual department.

Taehyung is suited up, or at least he was when he got into the building. Now, he's wearing a crisp white button down that's slightly rolled up at the wrists to showcase his watch. It resembled one of those watches you see on Antiques Road Trip. He must gotten it from his great great grandfather or something along those lines.

While you were at Punniton there hadn't been a chance for you to take a good look at Taehyung given the pile of winter clothing he had on him. So, you allow your eyes to roam lower to where his shirt is tucked inside well ironed light brown slacks.

Well ironed. Finally something non-Jimin related that you like about Taehyung. There are very few men your age that you have encountered that wear properly ironed clothes so you consider it one of the highest signs of self care. Your eyes have a mind of their own. They fixate on the movement of his hands as he moves to adjust his watch.

"What is the problem anyways?" He asks and you shoot your head back up. He didn't catch that, did he?

"Ohh I work at the bakery. I sent in the papers to stock up on inventory since it's owned by the municipality. But apparently someone from management lost the papers for the sugar inventory and now the bakery is out of sugar. I'm just here to complain about the fact that I'll need to increase the prices which will mean less bread sold and lower wages and smaller bonuses. I just find it really disrespectful given how hard we all work for the bakery and how long we've stayed while knowing we can get a better pay elsewhere just by doing half of the work"

"Huh, huh," Taehyung attempts to sound supportive.

"The situation just annoys me, A bunch of well-off people thinking that a more than a month long delay won't affect much. Like damn I have to pay rent, utilities and ten employees as well as myself," you continue your rant.

Look on the bright side, you got to vent a bit. Not that you thought Taehyung would be the one on the receiving side. You are feeling slightly better, and like your entire mission didn't completely fail. It simply took an unwanted detour. Time to get out of your head. Taehyung's fingers caress his knuckles before they go through his hair. Is he nervous?

"Wow that sounds awful, i'm sorry that happened to you," he says as he reaches into one of his pockets. That sounded... weird or even fake. But then again you couldn't expect him to understand the struggle some people face in life. His past big city life must have been so luxurious even problems took care of themselves.

"If you need any help all you need to do is ask. Any friend of Jimin's is a friend of mine."

He brings his phone out and points at it. "Duty calls. I'll see you some other time Y/N." He walks away typing furiously. Now that was also... weird. Another thing to add to the list of pros and cons you had made for Taehyung.

Pros: Jimin's friend, irons his clothes properly, weird.

Cons: annoying, big city boy, weird.

It's a tie, for now. If only you could imagine the fluctuation the future beholds. You will run out of mental space to store all of the reasons why you don't like and why you do like Kim Taehyung.

Now that he's gone, you face Vera again. Did you want to cuss her out and then leave, or did you want to cuss her, make another petty comment about appropriate workplace behaviour and then leave? You settle for neither. You already got to vent so you don't think you have it in you to go the extra mile. So you turn to your left and leave, never to return again, you hope.

The slowness at which you are going is flagrant. You removed your boots by the entrance to be met by such swollen feet you feel embarrassed for yourself. They aren't even that high neither are they too tight. You attempt to walk all the way past the kitchen and through the hallway that leads to your room but you give up less than halfway through. The couch will have to do for now.

You scroll through your social media and come across an announcement post from Jimin's account and you're reminded of his show. It premieres in four days and you remember him saying that he will leave tomorrow. God, you're so caught up in your own shit, you completely forgot about him.

[14:20] hey, what time are you catching the train tomorrow again?

[14:25] minnie 💜13:45. Trying to see when to schedule in a crying session before?

[14:27] Ha.ha.ha. You’re not that special and you already left once. I am immune now.

[14:28] minnie 💜Ooff, ouch. I am strong but I’m not made of stone y/n. That hurt 😢

[14:30] I would argue otherwise. Which is great since it brings me to the very important and touch topic we need to discuss

[14:32] minnie 💜Y/N. I heard it the first time. I am NOT going to hurt her.

[14:35] You don’t know that. She is more invested than you may think. I don’t think she can take a third fall out. So I will need you try your best, can you promise that?

[14:36] minnie 💜Promise. I’ll be honest with her tonight.

[14:36] Thank you 😌

Jimin really wishes he could tell Y/N why he is so cautious about completely confessing to Ada. It has nothing to do with him being insecure about his feelings. It is more so a matter of protecting Y/N because he knows how Ada would react in such a scenario. Maybe one day, when Y/N is ready, he will be able to let her know.

[14:38] minnie 💜speaking of Ada she told me about your sugar issue, what’s going on? ps I’m also hurt that I need to get your life updates from someone else 😣

[14:40] Hmm yeah srry about that, i’ve been a bit out of it 😬,I went to the municipality building to find someone I could complain to but there wasn’t anyone there

[14:41] minnie 💜you will hate me for suggesting this but you should ask Tae for help

[14:42] Hmmm 🤔….

[14:42] Nope

[14:42] Non

[14:43] Nein 👎

[14:43] I am not trying to be indebted to someone i don’t plan on keeping in my life

[14:45] minnie 💜Ohh come on you wouldn’t be indebted, just think of it as him doing me a favor (cuz he owes me a couple) except it has nothing to with me

[14:46] minnie I really appreciate you looking out for me, but I got this 😚

[14:46] minnie 💜https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/kim_taehyung

[14:47] minnie 💜I’m just saying he’s got connections 🤷‍♂️

You click on the link. A freaking Wikipedia page?! The page isn’t ridiculous long but still, the fact that he has one. Your eyes shift to read his profile. There’s a picture of him, one worthy of a couple of screenshot you were not going to take, except he has blonde hair and you can’t help but think that you prefer his current hair color.

Kim Tae-hyung (age 24) Other names: Earl Kim Taehyung, Count Kim Taehyung Occupation: Economist Awards: Uffington’s Novice Photographer 2019 Taehyung is not just Jimin’s city friend. He is a count. An earl. An aristocrat amongst Warringham peasants. [14:53] Wow I see that you have upgraded huh, what are your intentions for the future that you felt the need to become friends with a nobleman 🤨

[14:55] minnie 💜actually he approached me, he went to one of my shows with his fam and then came to compliment me backstage and asked if i wanted to go for a drink

[14:57] and you thought ‘you know what, going out for a drink with a stranger is totally responsible’ [14:59] minnie 💜 i didn’t go alone i went with the team, i’m nice not stupid 😤

[15.00] minnie 💜but my point still stands, you wouldn’t be losing anything by asking him

Should you tell Jimin that Taehyung has already offered to help or would that just encourage him to keep pushing? You decide against telling him.

[15:01] i’ll think about it

[15:01] minnie 💜 that’s y/n code for: thanks but no thank you

[15:02] i mean it, i’ll actually let the thought simmer in my mind and see if i like the result

[15:03] minnie 💜smh

[15:03] minnie 💜 i’m going to need to leave u, someone else is here to keep me company 😏

[15:04] ewww, u nasty, byeeee

[15:05] minnie 💜byeeee, and like for real think about it 😙

Tomorrow is now today. Jimin is sadly going away. You are that deep in your feelings that you feel the need to recite a corny ‘poetic’ rhyme. You are standing near the edge of the railway platform. Taehyung is standing somewhere behind you. The both of you waiting for Ada and Jimin to rap up their sob fest or more accurately Ada’s sob fest. It takes a minute.

Once they are ready they find their way to you. You form a disproportionate human circle where Jimin and Ada are glued to each other’s side while you are closer to Ada and Taehyung’s closer to Jimin.

“Hey Y/N, can I talk to you real quick.” Jimin motions for you to come to his side as he increases the distance between you and the rest.

Is he going to have individual talks with all three of us?

“So, what’s up?” you ask. The quicker you’re with this the less time you get to feel emotional.

“I’ll keep my promise if, and only if you keep yours,” he says as he places his pinky in front of your face. You grab onto it with your palm.

“I don’t remember promising anything.” He signals to Taehyung with a head nod. Oh, you see what this is about.

”You know it’s okay to admit you need help, right? You don’t need to have all the answers yourself.”

It may be true that you do not have all the answers, but you do have the ones that you need and the ones that mean something to you. But you can’t tell Jimin that so you sigh as you bite your top lip.

Jimin reaches into his back pocket. “I’ve had this now for a while and I think it has done its job. I believe you need it more than me right now.”

Onto your palm a small metal circle is placed. Teddy the penny. You can’t help chuckling. It had in fact been a while since you had seen the rusty fake penny with a teddy bear engraving. The penny that brought you and Jimin together back in elementary school when you still thought your teddy bear was the bestest friend you could possibly have. It listened to you and it understood and it comforted you, softly, all night. Most importantly, unlike Jimin, it never questioned you.

Your teacher had made fake pennies for the class to give as rewards. You and Jimin had a joint place in your drawing competition and coincidentally you both wanted the only teddy bear penny available. The teacher placed the two pennies in the palms of her hands, and told you to close your eyes. Her hands shifted from side to side, above and around one another. When you opened your eyes, you were made to chose and ended up with a butterfly penny instead.

All you can remember is moist cheeks, hurt cries and resentment. All of which went away when Jimin put the then warm penny on your small clammy hand, “You look like you need it more. Don’t be sad. Teddy doesn’t want things to be sad he wants them to be funny.”

From then on you exchanged Teddy the Penny, the one who needs it the most gets it. You had given it to him when he left to pursue his dreams.

“Honestly it’s not that big of a deal,” you dismiss his worry, “it’s definitely not a teddy the penny worthy situation,” you clarify.

“You know I am not gonna fight you right before leaving. You and I both know that the bakery is the only thing you actually care about. So yes, you care more than you show.”

“I also care about you and Ada too,” you retort and it’s the first time in the last three years that that you get to have Jimin’s questioning and disappointing expression directed at you.

“If you’re going to keep playing like this I might as well join and not keep my promise.”

FUCK!

Ok, so now your plan to avoid talking to Taehyung just wouldn’t be doable. You could deal with hurting yourself but hurting others? No. That’s where you draw the line. You are really going to have to talk to him.

“Fine,” you mumble out.

“Uh?”

“I said fine.”

Jimin pulls you into a hug. “Look at you, this is progress and thank you, that means I can keep my promise.” He hugs you tighter and your jaw tenses as you attempt to make sure he doesn’t squeeze out all of the tears that you plan on shedding when you get back home.

“I’ll miss you so much. Please take care of Ada.” He lets you go but keeps holding your hands. “And let her take care of you too. Okay?”

“Uh hmm,” you nod your head at the fastest speed you can manage. Partially because you do want to reassure him but also you need to dry the incoming tears.

Jimin continues to caress your shoulder as you walk back to meet the others. You try to keep your head up as to not raise any suspicion but realise your failure when you meet Taehyung’s eyes. He gives you a reassuring smile and winks at you. The last part does register properly in your head but you act like you didn't see it.

The train tracks sound. It’s almost here.

“I’m so glad I decided to come back. Take care guys, I’ll try to get back as fast as possible,” he says as he goes on to squeeze Ada’s hand and hug Taehyung.

The train comes to a stop and the gushing sound of air that comes from the opening doors resonates against your eardrums and you’re brought back to the first time he left. You were just as hurt back then as you are now. The only difference is that you felt hope where you feel despair today. Why? You don’t really know. Things tend to be felt before you get the time to register what those feelings mean.

Jimin steps into the train and sits by a window seat facing your side of the platform. The whole minute before he’s taken away with the train unravels itself in slow motion. It goes by so fast, you realize you forgot to wave goodbye. Nevertheless, you raise your hand to wave it frantically. Maybe he saw it?

Taehyung clears his throat. “I gotta hurry back to work. But hopefully I can see you guys around.”

Right, Taehyung and Ada still had work. You had given yourself a leave from work for the remaining of the day.

“Alright, sounds good, we can catch up some other time,” Ada says with a cheerful voice. You're surprised by how well she's taking this.

She moves to link arms with you. The same arm that she pinches.

“See you around Taehyung,” you manage to say. He looks at you a little too long for your liking before he turns away to walk away.

Your phone buzzes and you reach for it.

[13:45] minnie 💜here’s his number by the way: *********

[13:45] minnie 💜also I saw that 🙋‍♀️🤞

The outlines of your hands holding your phone blurs before you can feel wet drops on your forearms. Ada brings your body tight against hers as she pats your back.

You now realize how happy you felt having all three of you in the same place despite all the problems at work and Taehyung. You had really thought that the sweet imagery would manage to stay alive a bit longer than what it did.

But good things tend to be ephemeral, just like the first snow that melts to reveal old ways.

Posted: May 15, 2020

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