i am both self-conscious and deeply amused by the fact that i keep logging on and posting like five different things in a row for the same fandom over the course of like two hours before disappearing again for the night, and sometimes i wonder if i should space it out a little more. but the autism wants what the autism wants and i hate fucking around with the queue, so evening grapeshot it is
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hate being all dizzy and soupy when i'm sick, because i wanna talk about the contrast between ricky being genuinely happy that pericles can leave him when they first meet, even though he's obviously sad to see him go, vs pericles' obsession with owning him body and soul and how the nature of that changes after the timeskip even if the underlying framework is the same. but soup. Soup. languishes
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me thinking out a post about the kinds of aesthetics i'm drawn to in media, characters, stories, worldbuilding etc and why, in relation to both pericles and ricky but also just as a general pattern: sudden Extreme Battery-Acid-in-the-Chest Anxiety Spike
me: nervous system why this. why are you this way
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one thing that does make me a little nervous sometimes about writing up pericles meta is that like.... quite a lot of it goes in-depth about the extent of how incredibly vile and cruel the things are that he does to other characters, and his reasons for doing them. that's Important, and i do my best not to try to cushion it, despite discussing how it plays into his trauma and the shit hand he was dealt and vice versa. if anything the juxtaposition of those things is the point of all this meta for me, and it gets to the heart of so, so much that resonates with me about sdmi. erasing that would be a disservice to him and basically every other character in the show that i'm invested in.
.....and at the same time it's always really sucked how often i see people talk about how one-note pure evil he is, how it's impossible to write him as a complex or sympathetic character without making him totally OOC, how people who genuinely like him are [insert apologist here], how you're not allowed to enjoy exploring the awful dynamics he gets into with people, how they want him to be gruesomely murdered by the protags and think it'd be funny and satisfying and the show would be better for it, and just generally talk about How Much They Straightforwardly Hate Him Because He Does Bad Things. not everyone does this, thankfully, but enough of them have over the years that i just don't really want to see it anymore.
i know i joke all the time about how 'i love him and he makes me sad but i am going to peel him like a banana,' and i'm not going to try to tell other people they can't dislike him or anything, especially since i know a lot of the stuff he does is going to be really fucking triggering for some people. i do my best to just curate and block, mute, or scroll past if i need to. but he's genuinely one of my favorite characters ever and he means a lot to me--especially since i can relate hard to a lot of the sympathetic themes behind his being a piece of shit--and when i write my meta posts about him, i do it to share what i love about his character, and maybe get some people to appreciate him in a new light. and the idea of actively adding to the torches and pitchforks instead is..... kind of depressing to me and i really hope that's not how it turns out.
basically i guess this is me asking preemptively, before i start writing up posts Really Getting Into His Awful Shit at Great Length and in Great Detail, that folks please be mindful with 'i hate this fucking bird' comments on posts i make. i do hope people enjoy reading what i have to say about him, and get something out of it, but.... yeah. he sucks real bad but please be nice.
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something i wonder about sometimes: i'm used to people knowing me as 'moogle,' and obviously it's one of the names i've got listed in my bio, but i also go by 'whosebaby' a lot on this blog in particular (especially when i came back to it after a several-year hiatus).
a lot of people follow me on here after having known me for a While or from elsewhere, and to y'all i'm assuming i'm moogle; but i've also made a lot of friends/acquaintances/mutuals on this blog after the hiatus, which means you've probably seen me refer to myself as whosebaby way more often than moogle.
so, because i'm curious:
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PSA: if you ever, ever feel the urge to make assumptions about the abuse history of a real ass person in a discussion about depictions of fictional abuse--in particular, any variation of the words 'you don't know/should learn what real abuse is'--
a) don't
b) you're a piece of shit
c) never ever ever fucking do that
d) step on legos for the rest of your life.
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i'm starting to realize i have a thing for characters who are Bastards with at least one fundamental good, admirable principle at the core of their personality, which they've managed to corkscrew completely inside out in their pursuit of until they're making the world worse in exactly the ways they stood against initially. it is really unfortunate that the only fucking context this is ever deployed in, as an explicit, intentional theme of a work, is Baby-Eating Leftist tropes where the lesson is that trying to stop racism makes you racist and also an orphanage-bombing terrorist, because there's SO much interesting shit that comes of examining this kind of cognitive dissonance to figure out where the fuck it started.
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[personal stuff, abuse apologia, abuse and child abuse mention]
i know people probably roll their eyes sometimes when they see me talk Very Passionately(tm) about how Goofy Mascot Characters are handled in fiction, because 'it's a kid's show moogle it's not that deep, find real media to criticize 🙄'
and like. it'd be worth talking about this even if i didn't feel strongly about it thanks to personal experience. but man, let me tell you, as a little kid going through what was happening to me back then, disney villain minions and the like in the media i was watching at the time fucked me up.
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write up long poast. tucker self out halfway through. this will not stop me
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