#tf was wrong with it i was like two months ago years old when i saw this and thought it was fucking cool

[thekingofchungus]

this is the equivalent of having an 18 month old executed

#WHY?!?!? HUH?!?!?! #tf was wrong with it i was like two months ago years old when i saw this and thought it was fucking cool #i dont have to have severe stomach anxiety while waiting for important messages on this site!!!!!! its great it was fucking great!!!!!!!!! #WHY are you doing this. what did it do wrong. this is so weird #paypal's the only place ill pay attention to the changes for because i dont wanna get banned spontaneously again lol #chatbox #paypal

[aikoionic]

I WANNA GROW UP ONCE AGAIN [ L.MK ] : TEASER!

yes it’s based loosely (heavily) on 3 idiots 👽

★彡 In college, you and mark form a strange relationship. (you think) he hates you for competing with him for being the smartest in class, while you’re just trying to get a your degree so your parents don’t marry you off to another rich families son. Years later, an old bet gives you and his two friends a chance to look for your long-lost acquaintance, who’s existence is rather elusive.

engineering major!mark lee x engineering major!reader (fem)

★彡 academic rivals, where tf did mark go after college, readers gettin married, johnny stops a plane, haechan forgets his pants, yuta is annoying, mark is gone. reader is the college headmasters daughter sorry if it isn’t obviously lol

「September 5th, Present Day, Johnny. 」 - You attack my heart, you attack my heart!

“in any case of an emergency landing, there are marked exits on either side of the plane.”

it’s days like these that johnny is reminded of how much his job absolutely sucks. it wasn’t his phobia of planes or the fact that he is thousands of feet up in the air and anything could go wrong at any time, it was the fact that he couldn’t keep any friend/relationships going as he was expected in a new country or city every week. the only thing that’s funded is the plane ride, not his entertainment, and the book infront of his face is no longer a story but instead just a bunch of letters on a page.

he often daydreams about what his life could’ve been like, you know, if he stayed with engineering and didn’t follow his passion of photography. he often thinks about college and all the great memories, along with the bad ones, he often thinks about his old friends. he often thinks about mark. mark was a strange, but a once-in-a-lifetime kind of friend, he always talked about the future and how he would love to go fishing every weekend when everybody was well in their forties. johnny feels stupid for believing that mark was right, that everyone was gonna stay friends forever. he recalls the last time he saw him, graduation. everyone was ecstatic that it was finally over, all the exams, all the stress. exactly one week after he was on a video call with haechan, complaining that mark wasn’t answering his phone. it was another week after that the messages stopped going through, and it was another month before he gave up all hope of ever seeing mark lee again.

“we kindly ask that all passengers put phones and laptops on airplane mode for the duration of this flight to new york, we wish everyone happy trave-“ , johnny feels the vibration of his phone through his pocket and the deafening ringtone follows immediately after. he bought this phone three years ago and still doesn’t know how to turn down that damn ringtone. he smiles apologetically at his neighbouring passenger as they grumpily twist and turn to get comfy again after being awaken.

“hello?”

…

“yeah, this is johnny..”

…

his face drops.

“sir, can you please put the phone away.”

“yeah, yeah, one second, please.”

he looks around frantically, he needs to get off this plane, and it’s not because he’s scared. he hastily unbuckles his seatbelt, he needs to get off this plane. he stands up quickly and wobbles, it’s about to take off.

“sir, please sit down, you could get hurt!” the flight attendant yells at him to be heard over the horribly loud plane engine.

“i-i..” he grasps his chest, trembling as if he’s in pain. all the nearby passengers shoot worried looks at the airline staff.

“i don’t- i nee-“, the plane jolts aggressively and he stumble to the ground, grip still tight on his chest.

an attendant reaches up from her seat to grab the phone next to her.

“captain, there’s is a medical emergency on board, you must stop the plane.”

~

johnny is slumped over in a wheelchair as two members of staff and an on-hand doctor rush through the terminal to get him to the hospital, he looks dead, i mean he hasn’t replied to the staff screaming in his ear to wake up. johnny slowly opens up one of his eyes, his plan worked! he’s off the plane! but how the hell was he supposed to convince the staff he’s fine and is just gonna go look for a taxi to take him home. maybe if he tells them all he needs is some rest? REST? YOU JUST FAKED A HEART ATTACK AND YOU THINK THEY’RE GONNA BELIEVE ALL YOU NEED IS REST?? johnny stops scolding himself and gets to thinking of another plan.

“wait!” suddenly, he jumps up from the wheelchair and puts his hands out to stop them. he breathes deeply a couple times, does a few jumping jacks. what is he trying to prove with this whole performance?

“i’m completely fine now! thank you! you guys carry on, i’ll handle myself from here!”

“sir, wait a minute, you’ve just had a heart atta-“

he ran.

he ran all the way down two escalators, three sets of stairs and out the main entrance. what a shit plan. now he just needs to get home, wait.., he feels around his pockets, where the fuck is his wallet? is he supposed to walk home or something? maybe he should’ve just stayed on the damn plane.

he sees a sign held up by one of the drivers sent for important businessmen, or rich kids who study abroad and get their parents to send them a driver when they come on their annual trip back home, mr. zhong chenle.

“heyy man, long time no see! where’s the car at? i’m super tired!”

“uhh… mr. zhong? is that you?”

“yeah! why, do i look different or something?”

“a lot taller than i remember..”

“growth spurt. now, where’s the car?”

“straight home, sir?” the driver asks after approximately 7 minutes of uninterrupted silence.

“yeah, but go through the downtown first, wanna see it all again, ya know.”

“whatever you say, sir.” the driver sighs, he must’ve never looked at the kids face if he thinks johnny looks anything remotely like a college student anymore. johnny picks up his phone and dials a number he’s dialled about a thousand times.

incoming call, johnny, 12:08pm.

the noise of ruffling bed sheet and pillows fills the room, and a hand groggily slaps the desk to look for their phone without using their eyes.

call accepted

“yeah, johnny, what do you want.” he says while stretching. haechan doesn’t do much on his off days but sleep in until one and play video games. he knows that as soon as he leaves his room his mother is going to give him about fifteen things to do, so he decides to just lock himself up in his room for the weekend.

“get ready in five minutes, i’m coming to pick you up.”

“why, what happened.” there was nothing johnny could say to get him out of his bed.

“yuta called, remember him?”

“yeah, ‘the silencer’” he smirked, the dumb nickname still remembered by the pair even after all these years.

“yeah well, he said that..”

“what, he said what?”

“he said.. that mark’s coming.”

haechan shot up from his bed, making his head rush at the speed.

“WHAT?”

“yeah, he said come to the campus at 1, meet him on the roof.”

he looks at the time on his smartwatch. 12:46pm.

“oh shit..”

“bro, just get ready, fast.”

“yeah, yeah i will!”

he ran toward his bathroom, brushing his teeth and washing his face simultaneously. his sister watched him curiously, confused at why he’s up and out his room at 12.

“listen, i’ll be back soon, tell mom okay?, wait, shoes.” he hastily put his shoes on and wrestled a shirt over his head. “marks back!” he grinned at his sister but she just silently stared at him, biting back a smile.

“wait, but where are you going?”

“just tell mom i’m coming back, okay?”

“‘hyuck, wait!”

“can’t, johnnys here!”

“but you don’t have pants on! donghyuck!”

her shouts fell to deaf ears and haechan raced out the house, looking around for johnnys car. he waved down the car after he saw johnny through the window. the door swung open and haechan jumped in, not even giving it a chance to stop.

“now you want to go home, right, sir?” the driver asked johnny, while haechan was busy tying his laces and trying to contain his excitement.

“yeah but go via the imperial college of engineering.”

“well.. ok sir.”

“ugh, forgot my socks dude!”

“you forgot more that just your socks, hyuck.” he stifles his laughter and points down at haechans legs.

“oh my god..”

the car swerves around a sharp corner and through the gates of the courtyard to the ICE, imperial college of engineering. johnny looks out the window in awe of his old college, which was probably the prime of his life.

the car stops and the boys jump out of the car, johnny goes around to the drivers window.

“thanks so much, now you can go back to the airport and pick up my brother, same last name - zhong!” johnny runs after haechan as he makes his way to the roof entrance.

they sprint up the steps, johnny taking down two at a time, all so that they can see their long-lost friend. they have so much to ask him, where the hell did he go, why’d he stop talking. johnny wanted to slap him and hug him at the same time but haechan just wanted his friend back. they were very close in college, they even shared a dorm room. haechan knows mark didn’t want to cut off contact from them, he knows there was something stopping him.

they make it to the roof right on time, and see yuta standing there with his back to them, staring off into the distance and checking his watch.

“mark?!” johnny completely ignored yuta and instead starts running around the roof after seeing no sign of his friend.

“hey yuta! where’s mark?!” haechan yelled, his eyes looking all around the roof, trying to find him.

yuta smirked and slowly pulled out his phone, still not facing them, waiting for them to realise he isn’t there and come over.

“welcome, guys, long time no see, huh?.” he was dressed up nicely, in a suit with the top button undone, sporting expensive shoes and jewellery, his hair was slicked back, a big difference from the untidy thing he had on his head in college.

“want something to drink?, isn’t this the same beer you guys used to drink up on this roof, late at night?” he forces them to think back to their college days, when they sat upon the roof of the engineering building and drank up to early morning, running to make it to their classes on time, hungover as fuck. he tosses the beer bottle toward haechan and he catches it right before it hits him in the stomach.

“where’s mark.” johnny was getting frustrated now, he stopped his plane with a fake heart attack to be here right now, all for mark.

“patience please, first, i want you guys to look at this.” he holds his phone up close to their faces. a picture of yuta shaking hands with a realtor infront of a big house was on the screen.

“check out that mansion behind me. $3.5 million.” yuta smiled with his teeth while showing off to them both. “swimming pool? heated. living room? oak wood flooring. my new 6496 cc lambourgini.” he swipes through a whole array of pictures showcasing all his luxuries.

you see, mark’s only academic rival wasn’t you, there also was yuta. he was an absolute pain the ass, annoying as fuck but too smart and good-looking for his own good. you, mark and yuta were fighting all year to earn the valedictorian title. always trying to out-do each other with project and homework for a good recommendation from your teacher. of course mark ended up getting it, he was so charming to some of the teachers but so insufferable to others.

“why’re you showing us all this, where’s mark?” haechan interrupted yuta’s spiel about his achievements, demanding to know why he went through all this just for mark to not even be here.

“you don’t remember?” yuta pulls up the date on his phone, the 5th of September.

haechan looked closely at the phone, “yeah that’s todays date, and what?”

yuta smiled and the two then pushed through them, walking up to a part of the wall around the door of the entrance to the roof, that looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in years, covered in green stuff you could only hope was moss. yuta pulls out a handkerchief from his pocket, kicks over a ladder covering part of the wall, and starts cleaning it.

haechan and johnny following closely behind him, curious to see what his explanation was for this.

there, carved onto the wall, was a date,

Sept 5th

“i bet you. ten years from now, we will meet here. same day, same place! and we will see who’s mor- who’s more successful” yuta slurred as he yelled sternly.

“d’you have the balls?! c’mon, tell me! tell me you’ll come back here!”

“remember now? i made a bet with that idiot right here. i kept my promise, i’m back.”

johnny threw the beer bottle at yuta’s feet and started marching towards him.

“I made my plane land, he forgot his pants, all to meet mark, we’ve searched for five years, we don’t know if he’s alive. but you think he’ll show up for your silly bet?”

“no i knew he wouldn’t.” yuta smiled. “he’s too scared.”

“am i gonna punch him or are you?” johnny turned to haechan then turned on his heel to grab yuta’s shirt. haechan stopped even though he really wanted someone to punch yuta.

“well then why’d you make us come here if it was just a bet between you two?” haechan asked.

“to meet mark.. and to see where i’ve reached and where he is.”

“wait, so you know where mark is?”

yuta slowly started nodding and smiled. “well, yeah.”

“w-where is he?”

“he lives up in the mountains now, probably works in some rich guys house or something.”

johnny and haechan turn to each other and smile, they’re gonna go find their friend.

“[name], are you ready to get the dress?!” your mother screams up the stairs even though you really aren’t that far away.

“yeah mom, just gimme a minute!” it’s been five years since you got your engineering degree. you got a good job, with good money, and a good life. but, something’s always been missing from your life, something that stops you from feeling like everything was worth it. you don’t like to think it, but it’s mark. mark was someone who you hated so much in your first year, you didn’t think you would make it to graduation. your past with mark lee is strange, to say the least. you never want to admit that you found yourself falling for him in your last year. he had you thinking your life was going to be amazing forever, that you would fill the gap that been empty this whole time.

yet, here you are, about to go pick up a dress for a wedding you really, really don’t want to be apart of.

your own.

you see, you thought that getting your degree and showing that you can take care of yourself would bypass the need to get you married off to another wealthy family like yourselves, clearly not as your father doesn’t have a son and needed someone to pass his college down to, it’s been passed down by his father and his father before that and his father bef- you get the point. but they thought the best idea was to get you married. it was supposed to be your sister, but she convinced your parents that they can try again with you after she found a man, an art student, to be precise, to marry instead of your family friends son, doyoung. the same doyoung who is going to be your husband in a few days.

you miss all of you friends and especially mark. maybe you wouldn’t feel so lonely if you had kept messaging mark. a little bit after graduation, you and mark got into a fight, something about him not spending enough time with you. you can barely remember what it was about, so clearly it wasn’t important enough to be the reason your whole life changed. the last message he ever sent you was asking for forgiveness and saying something about how you should leave with him. he said he had something to tell you. but of course, you were stubborn and didn’t even check his messages until a week after and when you tried to reply, you found out he blocked you. you don’t remember his number anymore, even though about six years ago it was one you thought you could never forget.

you think of johnny and haechan. two of the funniest guys you knew. haechan was great to study with and always had a great supply of energy drinks in his bag for those all-nighters. johnny was great for advice and pep talks before big exams, if it wasn’t for him your sure you would’ve pissed yourself during your final.

but, we’re they ever really your friends? mark’s blocked you and nobody knows if he is alive or dead, and johnny and haechan slowly but surely fell out of your grasp, the less and less the phone calls and hangouts got, the more you wanted everything to go back to the way it was. when mark was here.

your phone dings, pulling you out of your trance. it’s your sister, texting you that she’s outside waiting to go dress shopping with you, wedding dress shopping.

your phone reads 2:23pm, September 5th.

a/n : yay this is gonna be really good i hope, also it’s my first kpop fic i’m sorry if it’s bad, the whole fic will be out soon but i don’t have a date. honestly if this flops i might not post it lol. also you will find out why they call him silencer later :)! if you wanna be on my tag list for when this drops just ask :)

BYE 😘

#mark lee x reader #mark lee #nct fic #nct x reader #mark x reader #johnny x reader #nct mark #haechan x reader #yuta x reader #doyoung x reader #johnny nct #haechan #yuta #nct 127 #nct dream #nct #mark lee fluff #mark smut #mark angst #mark #kpop #kpop fic

[brewsterispunkk]

sunshine state. prologue.

pairing: benny miller x fem!reader

WC: 5.3k

warnings: PTSD, reader has anxiety disorder, reader is a historian, and is described as being of average height. friends to lovers, idiots to lovers. a little canon-divergent (in this, the TF boys live in Florida, lol)

A/N: this was supposed to be a one shot but then I realized there’s no WAY I’d be able to fit everything I have planned into one giant fic so we’re gonna have a mini(?) series :) enjoy this Im so excited for what’s coming nextttttt .

PROLOGUE.

To begin, you blamed the heat. 

Of all the things you’d anticipated before moving here, the heat was the one thing you’d underestimated. 

It wasn’t that you’d expected southeast Florida to be cold–not by a long shot. In fact, it was the warmth that had driven you to the new little slice of heaven you now called home; It was the type of heat that had taken you by surprise. The summer after you graduated high school you had stayed for two weeks with your aunt and uncle in Flagstaff, Arizona, and had gotten quite used to the dry, dusty heat that settled into your lungs and skin. Naively, you’d expected Florida to be like that before relocating here.

Were you wrong about that one, you mused. 

Sighing, you tucked a stray lock of hair out of your face. Your scalp felt damp. The air here was heavy. You hadn’t been on the clock for even an hour and you already felt you were swimming in the humidity that had managed to creep through the old, heavy wooden doors at the museum’s back-entrance. A thin sheen of sweat coated your skin under your work clothes, a light pencil skirt and blouse, which felt oppressive in the heat. You took a moment to catch your breath as you reached the doors, eyeing the stack of boxes in front of you, piled up in the entryway.

They were a hodge-podge of crates and card-board boxes, all full of 16th and 17th century artifacts, waiting to be unpacked. You glared at the menacing wall of boxes in front of you. They’d been there since the evening before, when they’d been dropped off. Paula, your boss, had told you that it would be yours and your coworker’s job to move them into storage in the morning. Paula had the day off, much to your chagrin, for her daughter’s wedding, and Jen had called in sick. Paula had mentioned that Will, a volunteer from the V. A. who you’d worked with a few times before, was supposed to be here before the museum opened, but it had been almost an hour with no sign of him, so for now you were alone.

Rumor had it that an elderly antique collector had passed away up in Fort Pierce a few months ago, and in his will had requested that all of his relics be donated to your little museum, as it was located in his hometown. And the man had quite the extensive collection; from old documents to antique pistols, this delivery was the most exciting thing to happen to the little museum since your arrival as its new secretary/tour guide six months earlier.

When you’d gotten your history degree a little over a year and a half ago, you hadn’t expected to be here of all places. Your dream had been to work at some huge museum as a curator–like the MET or the Smithsonian. A pipe-dream, you knew, but still: it was your passion. History wasn’t this dead thing to you–it was alive and jumping out at you in nearly everything, you just had to be able see it. And even though your mother was unsupportive of your choice to be “a historian, of all things,” you had earned your degree with a focus in the 15th and 16th century Americas, and when a full-time position opened up at a pirate museum in a little Florida town with a history that dated back to the late 15th century, you took it. No questions asked.

It was the craziest leap you had ever taken–even crazier than when you’d gone against your family’s wishes to study history at university–and it was especially out of character for you, as you were a very look-before-you-leap type of person. Still, when you’d heard of the job opening, something about it called to you, and here you were.

Six months in, and you were struggling, if you were completely honest.

It wasn’t that you didn’t love what you did, you did. In fact, it was during your time at the museum that it felt like things actually made sense. Being surrounded by the history, the artifacts, the wide-eyed tourists and kids on field trips, all made your heart soar. You loved Paula’s strong coffee in the mornings in the break room, Will’s quiet demeanor, and even Jen’s chatter about the town gossip.

The real difficulty was when you got home. The little apartment you rented was cozy; only twenty minutes from the beach, with natural light, and a reasonable rent. Your neighbors were neighborly enough, save for Richard downstairs who only grumbled when you wished him good morning. And your cat Salem only hated this place a little bit, which was an upgrade from your previous places. So, you really had no reason to complain. Still…

The move was a hard one. As much as you had been itching to get out after graduation, you’d been so caught up in that feeling–in that knowing—that what you needed was somewhere else, that you’d failed to consider the difficulty of moving hundreds of miles away from everyone you knew and loved. And the picking-up of your life and moving it to a whole new state was stressful enough.

The relationship you had with your large, loud, opinionated family was… complicated to say the least. You’d always felt like the black sheep, if you were honest. The odd one out. Where the rest of them were content with where and how they were, as long as you could remember you’d felt an urgency to just go. Maybe it was growing up watching movies like Indiana Jones, or reading too many adventure books that made you like that, or maybe it was just in your nature. Either way: they never really understood that about you; your ambition. Truthfully, there were many things they didn’t understand about you, but that was a different story—and one you left town to get away from. Still, you missed them. Family is family, and even despite their issues, their absence here in your new home didn’t go unnoticed.

College was where you met your real family, you believed. Your chosen family which, to you, meant a great deal more than who you were assigned to at birth. It was there that you’d met and gotten close to the best friends you’d ever had, and it was leaving them that left the biggest hole in your chest that skype calls and letters just couldn’t fill.

You shook your head, trying to rid their faces of your mind for now. The last thing you needed was to break down crying on the job.

As you put the box in its rightful place in the storage room, you leaned on the cool metal shelf, the feeling seeping through your shirt and giving you some momentary relief from the oppressive heat.

You tried to slow your breathing, feeling your pulse start to quicken. That familiar feeling of panic began to settle into your bones.

Did you remember your meds this morning? Your heart skipped a beat at the thought. Did you..?

Shit.

There was the other thing: your anxiety. It wasn’t anything new to you—you’d been diagnosed in early high school and taking medication since then. And despite a few flare-ups, and with sime therapy, you’d learned to handle it. To cope and to not let it rule your life. Until the move.

When your friends back home had told you they were worried after being in town for about a month, you had shrugged it off. In your mind, their heart was in the right place, but they were wrong: anxiety was normal after a move. They had voiced their concern, telling you that your lack of a support system here made them worry. You had heard them out, but ultimately brushed it off.

It wasn’t until you had your first panic attack in the break-room that you’d begun to rethink that.

That was about a month ago, and since then, your anxiety had become nearly debilitating when it flared up, especially on days like this, where you were swamped, alone, and hot.

It was days like this that you actually sort of questioned your decision to pack up everything and move your life 500 miles south.

Shaking your head, you began your trek back to the stack of boxes in the back.

Your stomach turned as you walked down the dimly-fluorescent hallway on your way back, a new box in your arms. This one was some relic, an old oil lamp of some sorts, you thought. However, that was the last thing on your mind as you hobbled down the hallway. The shoes you were wearing were not doing you any favors, and you cursed yourself for choosing the ones that pinched your toes on your way out the door this morning.

It was then that you noticed the slight tingling in your hands and feet, the heat of the small hallway suddenly hitting you full-force. You stopped, breath hitching in realization at what was happening.

Not again, you thought. This was the last thing you needed today.

Why were you so useless?

Your whole body began to tremble, tears pooling at the corners as you struggled for breath. You stumbled, back hitting the concrete wall to your right. Somewhere, you heard a crash, the sound of glass breaking as you hyperventhilated.

You’re not sure how long you sat there, head on your knees, trying to get your breathing under control and mind running wild. It wasn’t until you heard a vaguely familiar voice through the fog that you registered the man standing in front of you.

“Hey, smalls,” he breathed, his over-6-foot frame immediately dropping down to crouch in front of you. His deep blue eyes were concerned as he placed his large hands on your shaking shoulders.

Will.

If you hadn’t have been so out of it and if you weren’t already crying, the deep, genuine concern in his eyes would’ve made you cry. It’d been too long since you’d had that; Had someone look at you with that genuine care. Six months to be exact.

“Look at me,” he said, voice firm as you met his blue eyes through your blurry ones. His hands squeezed your shoulders firmly, almost too firmly, anchoring you there.

“I need you to breathe, smalls.” He called you that nickname again–the one he’d bestowed on you when you started, as he was so much taller than you.

You just continued to shake. Sighing, he took your hands in his, squeezing them.

“Hey,” he began, placing your hands on his chest. “Hey. I want you to feel my breathing, okay? Can you do that for me?”

Bleary eyed, you nodded, ears still pounding and chest tight.

“Alright, now breathe with me, okay? In…” he took a large breath, holding it for a minute. “And out.”

Shakily, you did as you were instructed.

“Good,” he cooed. “Good, smalls. Now give me another one. Can you do that?”

“In…” you breathed, chest already decompressing. “And out.”

- - - -

“So,” he began, raising his coffee mug to his lips, looking at you over the rim.

Here we go.

“You wanna talk about it?” He leaned against the linoleum of the break-room counters that hadn’t been updated since the 1960s. You sighed.

“Am I allowed to say no?” you asked. He just raised a blond eyebrow at you. Your cheeks heated up.

God, that was embarrassing. Did you have to lose it at work like that? The last thing you needed was one of your only acquaintances here being scared away by your fucking mental issues. He cleared his throat before coming to sit beside you at the table. You stared at your coffee-cup, the brown liquid all of a sudden becoming the most interesting thing in the room.

“Look,” he said, grabbing the hand that was gripping the mug handle a little too tight. Your eyes snapped to his, and instead of finding pity or judgment, you found… understanding?

“I’m not gonna force you to talk about it, smalls, but trust me when I say: leaving it to sit isn’t gonna solve anything. And based on what I saw in there, I’d say that talking about it might help.”

So, you spilled. Everything. From your family to the move, to your anxiety and your meds, how you’d been here for six months and were living your supposed dream life and still had never ever felt so alone. You even told him about your cat. And through it all, Will just sat and listened intently, sipping his coffee, blue eyes on yours.

When you finished, he just nodded, before taking a swig of his coffee.

“I see.”

You snorted. “Is that all you have to say?” you asked lightheartedly.

“Well, Jesus smalls, what do ya want me to say?” He raised his eyebrows. “That sucks. I wish you’d told me sooner.”

“You know, Miller, I think this is the longest conversation we’ve ever even had. Most of the time it’s just me talking at you while you smile and nod. Honestly thought you were scared of me.”

“Yeah,” he laughed. “Absolutely terrified, smalls.” You rolled your eyes.

“Alright, alright.” you laughed with him before your face grew serious. “Really though, Will? Thank you.”

“Of course, kid.” he smiled softly at you. That was another nickname you’d earned at the museum, as you were the youngest of the staff at a mere 23. “Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve talked someone down. Definitely won’t be the last.”

You knew what he meant. Will was a volunteer from the VA; he’d been active duty for a long time. And while you hadn’t known where he served, you’d learned to recognize the far-away look he got in his eyes sometimes.

“That was a good technique you used. The breathing thing. Where’d you learn that anyway?” you asked.

“Thought you’d ask that,” he sighed, leaning back in his chair before beginning. “Well, to begin: I had to learn after I was discharged for my PTSD.”

You drew in a harsh breath, scared you’d overstepped.

“Shit. I’m sorry, Will. I shouldn’t have—”

“Stop, smalls. I wouldn’t tell you if I didn’t want to.” He smiles. “Besides, all things considered, I think we’re well past that.”

You give a relieved chuckle. “Yeah, I guess.”

“I mean, considering you got snot all over my favorite work shirt–”

“Okay!” you shushed him. “Okay, I get the picture.”

“Anyway,” he continued. “It began then–when I was in mandated therapy. My shrink taught me a bunch, you know the coping strategies. And then when Ben,” he cleared his throat. “Ben, my brother. He had it worse than me. And when we were in the field or stateside, that was the one that always worked best with him. I guess it’s just a force of habit.”

“You two served together?” you asked, voice softer now, all semblance of joking gone.

“Yeah.” he said. “He joined up after me, right when he graduated. Always fuckin’ following me around.” he rolled his eyes fondly.

“He still in the service?” You asked, trying to keep him talking. You liked seeing this; Getting to know Will, who always seemed like a closed book at work. He was naturally quiet, always smiling and adding little comments in here and there but never really adding to conversation. You wanted to know more about him. That, and you were starved for human interaction as pathetic as that sounded. As much as you loved Salem and your elderly next door neighbor Ms. Hermosilla, this felt nice. Like you were slowly making a new friend.

“God, no.” Will fired back. “No way. We both have been out for about… 3, 4 years? I left before him, but he stayed in for another tour with Pope–” he caught himself, realizing you had no clue who “Pope” was. “Ah, a buddy we both served with. Anyway, after that they were both out. Been stateside for a few years now.”

“He local?” you asked. He smiled fondly.

“Yeah,” he said. “We all are. Just all sorta ended up back here. Though, Pope’s a wild card, always out of town or something.”

“I wish I had such a close relationship with my sibling.” You said, a little melancholy creeping into your voice. It was unintentional, but Will caught on to it.

“Why do you say that?” he asked, that understanding look in his eyes. You sighed, not wanting to overshare about all your family issues, before deciding fuck it. You’d already hysterically cried all over this man’s shoulder today. If that didn’t scare him off, you doubted that your dysfunctional relationship with your brother would. Raising your eyebrows you began.

“Well, my older brother is… difficult,” his face popped up in your mind. “We never got along as kids; you know how it is. I trailed after him like a lost puppy, and no one wants their kid sister tagging along everywhere, so I don’t really blame him for it.”

He nodded in understanding.

“But,” you continued. “When he hit high school he just got… mean. I don’t know. There’s normal sibling fighting and then there’s just.. Something else.”

“I’m guessing he was ‘something else?’” he asked, eyebrows raising. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “Yeah, he is. Anyway, he’s military too. So, after high school, he went to training and we sort of grew apart. Not that we were ever really that close to begin with. I don’t know. I love him a lot, and in his own way I know he loves me too, it’s just…”

“I get it.” he said. “You don’t have to explain. Family’s… complicated.”

“I’ll drink to that,” you laughed, clinking your coffee mug with his.”

“You said he served. What branch?”

“Army.” you said. Will snorted.

“Ah,” he chuckled. “That explains a lot.”

“Yeah, my cousin’s a marine and always gives him shit for it.” you laughed. “What branch were you?”

“We were, uh, special forces.” He stated awkwardly. “Delta Force.”

“Jesus fuck, Will.” you look at him wide-eyed, interest suddenly peaked. “You could kick my brother’s ass.”

Of all the things he’d expected you to say, the last of them was that, you realized as he threw his head back and laughed. A deep, throaty boom that came from his chest. He shook his head, smiling.

“I’m sure I could, smalls.” he rubbed his hand across his forehead before standing up. He walked toward the coffee maker before looking over his shoulder. “You want some more?”

You thought of the hoard of boxes you both still had to move and file.

“God, yes.” you said.

And just like that, you made your first friend.

- - - -

You rolled your eyes, tossing your head back at the ceiling, letting out a long breath through your nose. You loved Will Miller with all your heart, but dear god did he piss you off.

“I don’t know why you’re mad,” he stated dramatically, eyes wide as he looked at you. “It’s not even that big of a deal!”

“Will, you taking the fall for something I did is a big deal!” you looked at him incredulously. “It was my fault, and it’s not fair!”

“What wouldn’t be fair would be Paula giving you shit for breaking an artifact when you were having an anxiety attack. It wasn’t your fault, and you shouldn’t be blamed for it.”

“Will,” you sighed. “I understand that and I appreciate it, but you didn’t have to–”

“It’s not a big deal, smalls!” He shook his head, staring at you like you were crazy.

“But–”

“I have the traumatized veteran card, let me use it! Paula can’t fire me for that.”

Dear God, this man was stubborn. Maybe even more stubborn than you.

“Why are you so goddamn stubborn?” you asked, exasperated and wondering how the man before you and the quiet VA volunteer you’d met six months ago were the same person.

“Oh, you think I’m stubborn, you should meet my brother, or Santiago–”

“Fine!” you cut him off. “Fine, but I owe you dinner.”

“That I can agree on.” he smirked at you. You rolled your eyes and punched his shoulder playfully.

You sighed as you both came to a stop at the back entrance of the museum. As you took in the scene before you, your eyes widened. You looked at Will, to see his own look of disbelief at the gigantic pile of boxes in the new shipment that had just arrived.

You have got to be kidding me. It was written across both of your faces.

It had been just three weeks since the incident as you’d begun calling it in your mind, and already the museum had received yet another shipment of artifacts and materials that you and Will were in charge of unboxing and moving.

And Paula had left it up to just the two of you again. The museum refused to hire moving teams for the larger artifacts, which left employees (often you and Will) to move it all yourselves.

Cheapskates, you thought.

You deserved a raise. And Will, who worked for free as a volunteer and had some mild joint problems, deserved a break.

Will scoffed, shaking his head. “No.” he said, reaching in his back pocket for his phone. “There’s no way in hell.”

You wait while he dials a number, tapping away at the screen. You wonder if he’s calling Paula, finally telling her to buck up and hire someone like yourself and your coworkers had been itching for her to do for weeks.

Instead, you hear him talk to someone else.

“Hey, Fish? You off today?”

—---------------

They were taller than you’d thought they’d be. That’s the first thought that popped into your head.

As the blue, dusty jeep pulled up to the back door, you fidgeted, wringing your hands. If Will noticed your nervousness, he didn’t say anything. He’d called his brothers: Frankie, Santiago, and, of course, Benny. When he’d found out they all had the day off (coincidentally), he’d enlisted their help in moving the boxes piled up in the back room.

You had no idea why you were as nervous as you were; In the past few weeks, you’d heard Will talk about the three men so much that you felt like you practically knew them already. In that time, you’d deduced that Frankie, or “Fish,” as he was called was the most laid-back of them all, and definitely the resident mom-friend, while Santiago, or “Pope,” was the hot-head and stubborn one. You thought you two would probably be the most similar. And the fondness with which Will talked about his actual brother, Benny, made your heart squeeze a little bit. You weren’t sure if it was out of some kind of envy or maybe the genuine love you could tell he had for him. Either way, you genuinely already felt like you knew the guys. So why, waiting here, were you so nervous?

You shook off the nerves as the jeep pulled to a stop. The front door opened, revealing a tall, tanned man dressed in jeans and a green t-shirt. His brown, discheveled hair was covered with a deep blue baseball cap, and he wore a pair of aviators. On the other side, a slightly shorter, broader man stepped out, in a black shirt and khaki-cargo shorts. His hair was dark and curly, tinged gray at the edges. His gaze was conspiratorial as he made his way over to Will.

“Ironhead!” he called, running up to him in a hug. “Where the hell have you been?”

Behind him, the man with the brown hair, who had removed his sunglasses by now, shook his head and gave you a sympathetic look. This must be Frankie, you thought.

“Where have I been?” Will asked, pulling back from the hug and patting his friend on the shoulder. “I should be asking you that question, Pope, I mean Jesus Christ. When was the last time you came out with us for Saturday night drinks, huh?”

The man, Santi, as you knew him, threw up his hands in defense. “Yeah, so it’s been a minute.”

“Ya think?” Frankie, who was still standing in front of you raised his eyebrows at Pope, hands in his back pockets.

“Alright, alright. I get it.” He shook his head, before muttering. “Fuckin’ assholes.”

At that, Frankie smacked the back of his neck. In looking over at him, Pope caught your eye.

“And who is this, William?” he asked, interest piqued.

“Ah, yeah.” he looked to you, telling them your name. “And this is Frankie and Santi.”

“So you’re the one he’s been telling us about.” Santi smirked. Frankie rolled his eyes as you raised your eyebrows, turning to Will.

“Is that so?” You said, intruiged by what they’d heard about you. Frankie butted in.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “It’s nothing bad, hermosa. All good things. Though we have been interested to meet Will’s new friend. I mean, it’s just surprising that someone else would even wanna spend time with him, he’s so insufferable–”

He cut himself off with a laugh as Will stole his hat at the jab. Frankie flailed trying to get it back. The scene made you smile. You already felt like you fit in with them and you’d barely even spoken yet. And the fact that he’d talked about you? To his friends? It made you silently smile in relief. Will had become a fast friend within the past few weeks, and though he’d never given you any reason to think so, part of you wondered if you were a bit of a nusance to him. He was naturally quiet, and you were a big talker, so it had crossed your mind more than a few times. Now though, you were glad to know he considered you a friend in the same way you did him.

“Alright, here’s what we need to get done,” Will was talking to Fish, putting an arm aroun dhis shoulder before walking towards the entrance of the museum. You and Pope followed silently behind, before he bumped you with his shoulder, hands crossed over his chest.

“You know, I didn’t think you were real,” he said nonchalantly. In front of you, Will droned on and on about artifacts. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Excuse me, Santiago?” you asked, incredulous. “What is that supposed to mean.”

“Please, don’t call me Santiago.” he said, shaking his head. “Makes me feel like my mama is scolding me. Santi’s fine,” he paused. “And yeah, I was almost completely sure you were some person Will made up because he finally snapped. Kept talkin’ about you and refusing to let us meet you.”

“And why is that, exactly, Santi?” you asked, raising an eyebrow and meeting his deep brown eyes that were crinkled with mirth.

“Hmm,” he hummed, shrugging. “Something about scaring you away.”

“Ha!” you laughed at that. As if. “Not gonna happen. If anything, you should be the one who should be scared.”

“You know,” he said, looking you in the eyes as you entered the back hall. “I think we’re gonna be great friends.”

You couldn’t have put it better yourself.

—-------------------

He was gorgeous .

I mean, Jesus Christ. You’d seen pictures of him on Will’s phone, and heard him described in stories from Will’s military days, but lord have mercy. Nothing could have prepared you for the man standing in front of you right now.

The first thing you gauged was his height. This man was tall. Taller by far than either Pope or Fish, and even surpassing Will’s height, making him the tallest of the group. You were generally a pretty average height; not too tall, not too short. You’d never considered yourself small by any stretch in any capacity until you’d begun spending time with Will, and he’d begun his incessant teasing about your size. Looking at the man in front of you, you were beginning to understand why.

He was broad as well, with wide, angular shoulders stretching beneath the deep gray T-shirt that spread perfectly, sinfully across his chest. It was hot outside, the t-shirt and shorts he’d decided to wear made sense.

As he bounded up to the group of you assessing the pile of boxes, he wrung the black baseball cap in his hands, having just removed it from his head. His hair, tufts of straight, brown-golden locks that curled at the ends, was messy and wild as he made his way over to you.

He skidded to a stop right in front of you, eyes immediately snapping to Frankie and Pope, who were deep in conversation with Will about the contents of some box. He looked frantically at each of them, panting, clearly out of breath from his rush to get there.

“Hey guys sorry I’m late—“ he trailed off as his eyes caught yours, clearly not recognizing you in his group of lifelong friends, and to your horror, stayed there.

Blue. His eyes were blue. A similar shade to his brother’s, which you’d seen look at you in annoyance and amusement alike many times, and yet different altogether. While Will’s blue eyes were almost grey, glacial, Benny’s were almost green. Framed by thick lashes that, at this close of a range, you could see in vivid detail.

You couldn’t look away.

Dammit.

You were caught. Leave it to you to meet possibly the most beautiful man you have ever encountered in your life and not be able to stop gawking like a schoolgirl.

You, who were always quick on your feet, you who always had something snarky to say, were being felled by … Benny Miller ?

A cough snapped your eyes from his. Frankie.

“Look who decided to show up,” Will’s arms were crossed as he took in his brother’s disheveled look. Pope snorted into his hand at that.

“I’m sorry, man. My electricity went out again, and reset my damn alarm clock. And you know I had that fight last night that I’ve been—“

“Relax,” Will chuckled. “It’s fine. We haven’t even started yet.”

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, little Miller.” Pope came up and clapped him hard on the shoulder in a hug.

“Hey, how many times I gotta tell you not to fuckin’ call me that, huh?” Benny asked, head on Pope’s shoulder through the hug. “Besides, not so little anymore, huh Santi? Or have you grown a few inches?”

At that you snorted. It was a jab at Pope’s heigh, you were sure, but still, the innuendo could’ve been taken either way. At that, Benny’s head snapped to you once again, blue-green eyes shining with curiosity.

You looked, a bit panicked, over at Will, who at first looked at you in confusion. Realization dawned on his face as he swore, laughing slightly.

“Shit, sorry smalls,” he said, looking over at his brother and giving him your name before turning to you. “This is my brother Benny.”

The younger Miller looked at you, for just a beat too long, before Frankie cleared his throat. From behind him you thought you heard Pope chuckle, but you couldn’t be sure. You were too busy analyzing every little detail about Benny’s face. A scar there, some crows get here, a line of giant freckles dusted across the bridge of his nose.

He repeated your name to you before reaching out his hand to shake. You took it and his hands were warm, no doubt from the relentless Florida heat. It also almost completely engulfed yours as he shook it. He let go too soon.

A smile overtook his face as he laughed at some stupid joke Pope cracks about the museum being a dump, and just like that: sunshine.

You didn’t know what people meant when they said that someone’s smile could brighten up a room until now.

Then he turned to you, eyes crinkling, and cheeks dusted pink, and that’s when you knew.

You were a goner.

#triple frontier fanfic #triple frontier fic #triple frontier imagine #benny miller imagine #benny miller x reader #benjamin miller #benny miller #benny miller x y/n #benny miller x you

[doubleddenden]

Decided to try something different with a schedule I make for my friends in a discord server I'm in.

Going forward, I'll be posting my Toonami Schedules on my blog as well, and my DD ScheDDules too. That's just a little silly schedule I make.

Oh, the "meDDia" section is something I usually do when there's a rerun. In our server, I kinda have free reign over this part, so usually I'll look up a funny video that kinda fits the theming. This go around, since I'm feeling the love for DBZ again, I thought it'd be fun to try some fresh DB content we haven't gotten on the actual Toonami block. I decided to post ep 1 and 2 here since this is my first blog post of the schedule.

The graphic is definitely new for me. I found a font matching the Toonami font online, found the old Toonami emblem/logo, and from there I googled space pictures and did renders and edits in paint.net to get the result you see above. Thinking about changing the colors and doing a little more editing, but not too bad for my first attempt at one of these, right?

Some QA and disclaimers below:

"Why do this?"

I'm not really sure tbh. This kinda became my role in the server I'm in. I try to keep on top of the schedule and changes so everyone else can be informed or make other plans if they like. I wasn't the first to do this in my server, nor am I the only one able to do this, I just... I dunno, kinda did it so the others can catch a break? Life's tough and I like being relied on. I'm the schedule guy now

"Tf is the DD Schedule?"

Well, I am DD. The DD Schedule kinda started just as a little joke a year or two ago, again, I just kinda joke and shoot the shit. Some of my friends get upset with me if I forget or don't do the silly schedule, so I reckon if it makes them happy, I do it.

Sometimes it's good for recap. Sometimes not. Depends on the mood. It's just harmless fun and I like being silly.

"Why the inaccurate Japanese?"

Since Ninja Kamui is subbed, I basically just run my original Ninja Kamui bit through Deepl since I was told it is slightly more accurate than Google translate. No harm was meant if it comes off wrong. In other words, Sub is basically the same as Dub but slight differences.

"What are the numbers and projected end dates?"

Something different I decided to do with this schedule is to keep count of episodes and a possible end date for the season or series on Toonami. The Projected End Dates- PED- is subject to change for marathons that may happen. In fact, I'm pretty sure we're due for a Ninja Kamui marathon or 2 for when the series ends its current run, as they tend to do other originals.

"Why the graphics?"

Dunno, thought it'd be fun to try something different for a change. The schedule I post in our server is usually just text, so I figure this would spice things up.

"Why no time listed?"

Because I live in Central, some if my friends don't. Just assume the schedule starts as normal unless stated otherwise. For me that's 11:00pm central.

"Tf is Nart?"

It's Naruto, that's just my pet name for it.

Couple disclaimers

1. I am not a toonami employee. Just a fan. I have limited data per month and can't watch anime as much as I'd like, so Toonami is a great way for me to watch new things I haven't seen that I can't find on youtube or something.

2. I'm not a mod or admin of this server, more like a town crier or janitor.

If you have questions, feel free to message me and I'll answer whatever

3. Our server is a psuedo fan server, not official, and it's really more of a "whatever" server depending on the mood we're in, from Toonami to streamers to games and shows, etc. None of us are affiliated with Toonami in any official capacity and it's mostly us goofing off about whatever or watching Toonami on Saturdays. It is an 18+ server, fair warning- we try to keep that stuff in the designated channels, but *some* people are gremlins, so it can scare some off.

#toonami #dd scheddule #ninja kamui #zom 100 #lycoris recoil #one piece #nart #naruto #dbz kai

[its-inevitable-lupe]

sometimes I don’t even know myself. Like not at all. But I know myself extremely too much that I analyze all details and habits and all I do. I learn so much about myself every month… it would be such a bad sign if you never learn anything about you. I get upset, my mood changes so much. Im a very distracted person. Idk what my intentions are with people. I say yes but I leave everyone. I act like I’m good but then I’m playing you. I sugarcoat my lies, my habits because why? I can’t focus on one thing. I’m very narcissistic.. I’m so selfish at times and I use to think I wasn’t.. but I am. I want to be pleased. I want it my way. I overspeak.. i overthink. I go in circles. I talk so fucking much. I listen but then i dont. Literally I don’t listen as much as I thought I did… I study my ways. I use people so much and before her I would drag them along.. but people use me? Or all along I been using everyone. I crave for love when I don’t give….. I crave for things and I don’t give. I expect everything. I’m the warmest person you can meet… and be outgoing… give you the best version of me. Talk, be there…. But then I completely shut down in such a drastic way. One snap and my mood changes in unhealthy ways. I have never learn to fix it completely but there have been times I been so mad at people that I had to leave the area…. I use to think that I would hide certain parts of me but I’m too open that I will act … I hold grudges to the grave. I haven’t had someone actually break up with me. I have been told and done sooooo many things that I just never really let it hit me or feel on me the hurt. I have used self harm, alcohol that now I think I can potentially be an alcoholic, I even crave it now but I have self control… I used people.. distractions. Maybe why I can’t finish anything.. maybe why I can’t be still… because I just have to keep my mind going a million miles. I use to think I didn’t care enough because I would compare them to me… and dude it’s actually who I really am. I don’t let love in my heart…. I’m scared of loosing something I try to death for. I couldn’t even try with the one I actually wanted because I was distracted and all over the place in my personal live. The only way I noticed the type of person I really was were people who like me and still wanted me with my flaws… and that’s how I’m like tf is wrong with you … I’m such a disaster. I ignore people and they want to still. I kiss and go. I do the bare minimum and gosh…….whaaaaaaat is it that I seem to be doing ok to get them to think I’m worth it? Or are they all sick people wanted to fix a fucked up complicated person…. And the last girl I told her dude I was the PROBLEM.. I’m complicated. I don’t like affection and I can be there and all but I won’t stay and THEY DONT GIVE AF. My crush at work, Two… they really like talking to me. One even after I interrupt her and I’m like omg do I.. and I’m like it’s me ADHD lmao and she’s like it’s okay, it’s not annoying like other people but you do that lol . I don’t know how to erase parts of me and the bad things when it’s me…….. and I hate that people tolerate me. I look thru old things and how can anyone like me years ago. Sometimes I wonder damn that was a real deal relationship because no sane person both would be in something like that and especially long distance????? For years….. there is no way anyone could ever be the same after it. It changed me completely. Nooo medicines to make my head slow… to change me… I want to know a life where I’m myself without needing substances. I’m a hopeless romantic person afraid to be committed and really give and settle for love. Crazy huh

#my thoughts

[drindrak-art]

[OK so I have a ridiculous amount of Arcane AU ideas thought up. So I'm gonna start posting them.]

AU where the Vander v Silco fight/attempted homiecide/messy divorce happens like a week before the bridge incident. Silco isn't even fully healed when he hears of the peaceful bridge protest going horribly wrong, but he rushes off to see if everyone (cough, Vander, cough) was okay.

And on that bridge he stumbles upon two recently orphaned kids about to be shot by an enforcer. He saves these kids by killing the enforcer with like a scalpel or whatever that he stole off Singed. He then notices the two dead people nearby who look like these kids and despite how cold-hearted he tries to be, his heart wrenches at the sight of the eldest kid just completely breaking down (so much like Vander had all those years ago-)

So he takes these two kids back to Singed's lab, his home-base at the moment. As he walks plans form in his mind, and he notes uncomfortably that most of them centre around manipulating the shit out of these kids.

And yeah he'll do it, but like it takes him maybe six months to get irrevocably attached to these two little demon spawn, and most of those plans are thrown right tf out.

Silco at first manipulates them to hate Piltover with a passion, but he ends up caring for them like his daughters. He's not a good man or father, but he tries his best. The three trauma bond and form a codependency on each other.

They love each other, don't get me wrong, but it's toxic. Their entire relationship is hella unhealthy.

Silco projects himself and the Vander he loved on them a lot, leading to them being different from their canon selves.

Well, Powder ends up much the same just with less psychosis as she doesn't accidentally kill her entire family.

Vi however is different, and not in a good way. Silco twists her good heart into pure hatred for the topside and for Vander + his supporters, and exacerbates her battlelust.

So you have Powder, Silco's youngest daughter and demolitions expert, and Vi, Silco's eldest daughter and right hand. Both can and will fuck you up, and if they fail Silco will not. Everyone in Zaun knows them, and knows to stay out of their way.

Anyway TL;DR it's an AU where instead of Vander taking Vi and Powder from the bridge that day, it's Silco.

Bonus:

lmao just imagine sevika defects from vander, expecting to do something worthwhile at silco's side, and the first thing the man orders her to do is teach Vi how to fight properly.

so sevika is forced to teach this 14 year old how not to fight like a drunken brawler.

but then powder also wants to join in so now sevika has to show a 9 year old how to punch without breaking her fingers.

all while silco watches.

the unsaid threat of if you hurt them too badly i'll eviscerate you hangs over sevika's head like a guillotine.

#arcane #arcane league of legends #arcane netflix #arcane series #arcane animated series #arcane au #arcane fic #arcane vi #arcane powder #arcane jinx #arcane silco #silco #sevika #silco arcane #jinx #drindrak's aus

[drawlfoy]

detention, retention, and draco malfoy being a little shit

masterlist request guidelines

pairing: draco x reader

request: no not really

summary: golden trio friend y/n y/l/n tries to extract information out of draco malfoy after being placed in detention together.

warnings: swearing, panic attack kinda stuff, just the dark war things that would come w having the task that draco does

a/n: ayo so i started this as a fic i was originally planning on writing in a week. i discontinued it bc i didn’t think anyone was that interested, but i’ve written for it on and off. it’s about 16k words right now standing, but i’m reposting this as a 2 part series. here are the first ~12k words....enjoy :) IMPORTANT: if you’re like “hey i started reading this in october why tf are you reposting the first two parts” just keep reading ok lmao i promise there’s more there’s about through part 6 in here hehe. i just wanted new readers to be able to pick up on it without being turned off by the fact that it was part 3. this will b e 2 parts and at least 20k words

word count: 11.6k

taglist: @gruffle1 @missmultifandommess @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @yesnerdsblog @shizarianathania @evanstanfanatic @strawberriesonsummer @hariosborn @night-ving @straightzoinked @imintoodeeptostop @naiomimoonshard @jejegu @ophelia-enthusiast @alwaysbeanunknownfan @nearly-memories @litty-dumb @callieclearwater @malfoy-wife15 @charlenasaxen @belladaises @fiantomartell

happy reading y’all

For legal purposes, the york pudding she lobbed at Pansy Parkinson’s head on Monday evening was simply meant to be a joke. She didn’t know that her aim was bad enough that it was going to get in Snape’s hair instead--honestly, it wasn’t even supposed to get past the Ravenclaw table, much less veer to the left to make a beeline for the professors--but no matter how much she tried to explain this to McGonagall, her sentence remained the same: detention every Friday. For two months.

Her life was ending for sure.

“I honestly don’t know what you were expecting,” Hermione told her as she gently wiped off the nib of her quill later that night in the common room. “Even if you had hit your mark, that’s still technically assault.”

“Did you even hear what she said to me? She told me that I looked like the type of kid that bit people in primary school,” complained Y/N. “I didn’t even think she knew what primary school was!”

Hermione snorted. “How long ago?”

“Two days. I’ve been waiting until there was something throwable on the dinner table.”

“How very analytic of you.”

“I’m going to hit you.”

“And you wonder why you’ve got detention.” Hermione tsk-ed at her, her face stone serious but her tone light hearted. “Maybe take this as an opportunity to, I don’t know, do your homework for once? So you won’t have to have a breakdown over the next Potion’s essay and beg me to write it for you?”

“I’m going to go to sleep and think terribly mean thoughts about you.”

“Have fun.”

~ 

Detention.

Something that Y/N wasn’t completely unfamiliar with--she’d done her time organizing Snape’s cabinets, just like every other Gryffindor--but it was different when it came to McGonagall. An impressive old lady, she thought that McGonagall saw something in her. She was always the first to chuckle at Y/N’s jokes and hesitated to reprimand her stupid behavior. And she never gave Y/N detention.

Until now, she supposed. 6th year was changing a lot of things--even their Potions professor--so McGonagall turning a new stone shouldn’t have been anything shocking.

At least, not as shocking as the first thing Y/N saw as she walked into her house head’s office.

“Malfoy?” she spat.

The platinum blonde didn’t even bother to look up from his desk.

“Miss Y/L/N,” Professor McGonagall chided. “I think we would all prefer if you restrained yourself from getting into any more physical altercations with Slytherins.”

She huffed, plopping down in the chair furthest away from that foul git and reaching for her satchel.

“I’ll be back in two hours,” said the elderly professor. “If I hear anything, and I mean anything, other than the sound of studying, consider your sentence doubled.”

With a swish of her robes, McGonagall was gone, leaving her with Malfoy. 

“So what’d you do to get in here, huh? Did the administration finally get a hold of that video of you licking Voldemort’s toes?”

“What the fuck does that mean?!” he snapped, whipping around to glare at her.

“‘s just a joke,” said Y/N. “Like--how everyone says your family houses him and everything--but whatever. I can tell it’s a sore spot.”

His gaze, never withering in intensity, remained trained on her face. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Apparently so. What’re you here for?”

He exhaled sharply. “If I tell you, will you shut up and let me think?”

“No promises, but maybe.”

“Late work. I forgot to turn in the Transfiguration exam last week.”

She made a tutting sound as she lazily shuffled through the crumpled parchment in her satchel. “I expected more from you. Aren’t you gonna ask me how I wound up here?”

“No. I am going to ask you to stop talking now, though.”

~

“That’s terribly unfortunate,” Hermione said over breakfast the next morning. Ron and Harry were nervously chit chatting at the other side of the table over the Saturday Quidditch game against Hufflepuff--supposedly it was supposed to be quite a high stakes match. Not like Y/N cared much, though.

“Yeah! And the worst part was that he won’t even tease anymore. Like, he just sits there all broody and woe is me. We’re all witnessing our nation’s descent into war--he’s not special!”

“Who are you talking about?” asked Harry.

“Oh, just Malfoy,” said Y/N. “We have detention together with McGonagall. He’s such a nasty little greaseball, don’t you think? I mean, look at him right now, glowering over his cereal.”

“Wait! That’s it!”

“What’s it, Harry?” Hermione asked.

“It’s genius, really,” he said. “Y/N has to spend time with him alone every week, and we know that something is up with him. Malfoy is absolutely a Death Eater and has connections to You-Know-Who, but I just need to find a way to prove it.”

“I vaguely forecast where this is going, and I hate it already.”

“Listen, Y/N. It’s not for that long, and it’s for the health of the wizarding world. If you just get to know him--”

“Ick!”

“If you just get to know him, maybe get him to trust you and find out his secrets...we’d finally have enough to turn him in and throw him out of Hogwarts for good.”

“Is that really necessary, Harry?” Ginny butted in from her seat further down next to Dean. “Malfoy’s probably just exhausted like the rest of you. 6th year is difficult, and we have no solid evidence that he’s a Death Eater. I’m sure being stuck in a room with him for 2 hours is hard enough without pretending to be nice to him.”

“But what if Harry’s right?” said Y/N. “What if he is actually a Death Eater? What if he’s an active danger to the student body?”

“Exactly!” The joy written across Harry’s face at the prospect of someone else finally agreeing was infectious. “So will you?”

“Er…” She dragged her spoon across the top layer of her porridge. “In theory, sure. In actuality, I’m not sure how I could do it. Malfoy doesn’t want anything to do with me, either.”

“Love potion?” offered Ron.

“I don’t care how much of a prat he is, I’m not roofying him.”

“I rarely agree with you, Y/N, but I think you’re right. If you want to do this, you need to get him to trust you for real.”

“Your back-handed compliment skills never disappoint, Hermione. Do you think you could help me out with a plan?”

A slow smile spread across the girl’s face as she nodded. “That’s my strong suit.”

The plan they laid out over the remainder of the day was ambitious but at least do-able. Each week was split into different subtasks, the end goal being a somewhat tentative friendship between the two. 

“If you can flirt with him and get him to have a crush on you without scaring him off, you’d be in the best possible position,” Hermione told her as they walked back from the Quidditch pitch among the screaming Gryffindor fans. They’d won--yet again. “Obviously I don’t foresee that being likely, but if you pull it off somehow he’d probably be willing to tell you anything. The fact that you’re a pureblood is going to carry you through this whole ordeal. He’ll at least be accepting of your existence in the wizarding community.”

The bitter edge in Hermione’s tone made Y/N’s blood boil. There was no reason for Malfoy to be as prejudiced as he was--he’d spent his adolescence in Hermione’s academic dust. She was obviously smarter than him. 

“You got it, ‘Mione,” she said. Her voice barely carried over the cheers of her peers as they ascended the steps to the common room. “We’ll take this little ferret down. I can’t wait.”

“Don’t get too cocky, now.”

The Gryffindor after-party was crazy...per usual. The charmed self-filling goblets, the blasted playlist of Wizpop pumping through the air, and the buzzing energy of the room was giving Y/N a giant headache. She stood with Hermione and Harry by the edge of the crowd, watching Ron get hoisted up on the shoulders of the chasers. 

“No wonder the Slytherins think we’re Neanderthals,” Y/N mused. For once, Hermione didn’t respond. “Hermione? Is everything okay?”

The second she turned away to look at her best friend, gasps and whistles filled the room. She whipped back just in time to see Lavender Brown, a sweet but slightly ditzy girl in their year, pull away from a kiss with Ron.

“Oh shi--Hermione!”

Harry and Y/N shared a glance before darting after the witch--who had impressively already made it to the door. 

“Hermione, wait!” Y/N called as they jogged after her, throwing open the common room entrance and finding her sat by the tapestry on the other side of the hall, knees to her chest.

“‘Mione, what’s wrong?” asked Harry.

“Don’t be daft, Harry,” said Y/N. “You saw exactly what the rest of us did.”

“I don’t understa--”

“Harry.” Her voice was taut. “I know you’re just trying to help, but I think that it might be best if you let us be. Go back and enjoy the party.”

He gave her a tight, grateful smile before darting back through the door. Y/N wasted no more time in walking over to Hermione and throwing her arms around her shoulders.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, hugging her tight. Hermione made no move to detach them, so she continued. “Ron is an idiot. You deserve so much better--your first kiss was Viktor fucking Krum, after all. You’re hot stuff and this place is just unfortunately running dry of men who are impressive enough for you. Once you’re out of here and working in the Ministry, you’re gonna have the time of your life with men actually in your league.”

Hermione managed a sniffly laugh as she wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “It’s just so fucking embarrassing, you know. Like, I have a crush on him because I think he understands me and I smelled him in my Amortentia and I thought he’d like me back, but…” She hiccuped. “Then he goes off and kisses Lavender Brown, of all people. There’s nothing particularly wrong with her or anything, but she’s so different...I’m so bookish, and she’s so girly and everything I’m not…”

Y/N took the opportunity to tuck a lock of Hermione’s hair behind her ear as she listened.

“And it can’t help but make me think--was I ever anything to him but a friend? If the girl he ends up choosing is the opposite of me?”

“Girly, don’t think like that,” murmured Y/N. “He’s a teenage boy. They don’t think of love the way that we do--to them it’s a game of availability, not of choice. At least for Ronald. You intimidate him, and by extension, you’re not available.”

“That shouldn’t matter!”

“You’re right. It shouldn’t.” Y/N drew a long breath. “So you should find someone who always has you as their first choice--someone who isn’t intimidated by your intellect. They’re out there. I promise.”

Hermione managed a shaky smile. “Thanks, Y/N. I mean it. Do you mind if I have some alone time? I don’t think I’m ready to go back to the party but I just want some quiet.”

“Of course. Let me know if you need me,” she said, brushing herself off and making to walk down the hall.

“You’re not going back to the party?”

“Nah. It hurts my head and I want fresh air. If I’m not back here in a half hour, assume that I’ve been kidnapped.”

With that, she started her walk. She wasn’t planning on going on a long stroll--there was a small balcony that she often went to when she needed to clear her head. It was beautiful, especially on a snowy night like this.

But the walk was creepy.

There was only one way in and out--a narrow, damp hallway that had absolutely no light fixtures. If Y/N really wanted to, she could cast a quick lumos, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to see what lived on the walls. The stairs were steep, too, but she managed to bound up all 40 of them in record time. 

“Who’s there?”

The sudden voice ripped a scream out of Y/N’s throat as she reached the top, catching a glimpse of the shadowy figure at the edge of the balcony that spoke. She clasped her hand over her mouth and she crept forward to the opening, getting a better look at the person that was in her secret spot.

The clouds shifted in the sky to allow more moonlight to cast a soft glow on Malfoy’s face, hardened with irritation.

“Malfoy?” Y/N asked, rather dumbly.

“What stellar observational skills,” he drawled. 

She felt her cheeks grow hot. “What are you doing here? This is part of the Gryffindor tower. Shouldn’t you be...I don’t know...playing hide and seek with the sewer rats in the dungeons?”

“Very funny.” His flat tone exposed the fact that he did not, in fact, find it very funny. “There’s no rule barring me from coming up here.”

“But why? This is my spot!”

“Because I wanted to get out. Now, I was here first, so unless you want your detention extended, I suggest you leave.”

Y/N bit the fiery comebacks on the tip of her tongue as the memories of her plan with Hermione began floating back to her. 

Week 1 -- Hold one neutral, civil conversation with Malfoy.

“I’ll be quiet. You won���t even know I’m here,” Y/N decided upon. leaning up against the balcony. The rogue snowflakes that made it past the overhanging roof melted on her cheeks. 

“That isn’t a suggestion,” said Malfoy. “I’m demanding you leave.”

“Beautiful night, isn’t it?” Y/N asked, pointedly ignoring his words. “I’ve always loved the snow. It’s so quiet.”

“And it would be even quieter if you left.”

“Aren’t you the conversationalist?” said Y/N.

“If you don’t leave, I will hex you,” Malfoy told her through gritted teeth. 

“I just love how the moonlight reflects off of the snow,” continued Y/N. “It’s so...pure.”

“Please leave.”

On her walk back down the dank stairwell, she allowed herself a little smile. 

Task 1? Technically done.

~ 

The first week went largely as planned. Malfoy was cold and certainly suspicious of her, but he wasn’t completely venomous when Y/N asked where he got his quill from in Potions. It was silver, charmed to shimmer with flecks of forest green. He told her Barnaby’s in France, and that was that. She walked away from his table with all of her limbs attached. Perhaps that was all the progress she was going to make in the next few weeks, but the task at hand certainly made the prospect of her lost Friday afternoons more bearable. 

Harry was going completely batty, rambling on about how Malfoy was behind the mysterious cursed objects that had been floating about the castle without explanation. 

“And why would Malfoy bring cursed objects to Hogwarts if he has aspirations other than being expelled?” Hermione would ask over their books.

“You don’t understand, Hermione! You girls need to be careful walking around at night--especially you, Y/N. I don’t want you going missing after detention because of that slimeball.”

Y/N always gave him a laugh, berating him for his slight misogynistic commentary and turning back to whatever her task was, but the truth was that she was worried for him. The mental weight of the impending war and the fact that he couldn’t do anything about it was certainly getting too difficult for him to bear. It was heartbreaking to see the vivacious boy she’d grown up with crumble under the responsibilities of something he should never have to worry about in the first place.

Friday came much sooner than expected, and Y/N reluctantly left her friends in the common room to trek to McGonagall’s office. The walk was frigid and the wind bit at her cheeks as she rounded the last outdoor hall.

Why was this castle so dark?

A thump behind her made her jump, and Harry’s words came floating back to her. 

Remember all those cursed objects? What if there’s someone just...stalking the school grounds, waiting for someone like me to snatch?

She shivered, throwing herself at the office door and slamming it behind her.

“Miss Y/L/N,” Professor McGonagall greeted, her eyebrows raised in amusement. “Something giving you trouble?”

“No, Professor,” she answered, setting her bag down on the desk next to Malfoy. He sent her a curious look as well. “It’s just cold outside.”

She chuckled. “I need to go speak to Headmaster Dumbledore. I expect that, upon my return, you both are in one piece and alive.”

“I’m not sure if I’m the one who needs to be given that speech,” said Y/N, bored and testing the waters.

“She’s right, Professor,” added Malfoy. “There’s no projectiles here.”

McGonagall exhaled a long, shaky breath before brushing herself off. “Please. Behave yourselves.”

“You got it, boss,” she said as she watched her Professor walk out the door. “So, Malfoy. How was your week?”

“I don’t know what you’re up to, but I’d way prefer if you didn’t speak to me,” he said, refusing to make eye contact.

“I’m not up to anything! We’re in detention together and, I dunno, since I see you sometimes at balls, I thought it’d be nice to be on good terms.”

“Good terms?” He scoffed. “You’re a Gryffindor. I’d rather you be a bloody Hufflepuff.”

“How about neutral terms?”

Even though he wasn’t looking at her, she could catch a glimpse of him rolling his eyes. “If neutral terms mean you being quiet, then, yes. Please.”

“I’ll be plenty quiet. After I hear about your opinion on what happened in Potions today with Brown and Weasley. When Snape yelled at them for holding hands.”

He let out a sharp sigh. “Believe it or not, I actually have better things to do than keep up with whatever stuff your house does.”

“But…?” Y/N pressed. She may not’ve spent her time at Hogwarts as Malfoy’s best friend, but she had grown up with the boy, and she could tell when he was holding back.

He stared blankly at her.

“Come on. I’m literally the only person in my house who’ll openly admit that they’re disgusted by that dynamic. I’m begging you.”

She wasn’t sure if she was imagining it, but she thought she saw a flicker of amusement dance across his face for a moment. “Your house sounds more like a cult than a student group.”

“Oh, says the one from Slytherin,” said Y/N. 

“We only act like that because our families are close. What’s your excuse? Hormones and Quidditch culture?”

“Touché.” As much as she wanted to fight back, she bit her tongue. Whatever she was doing was making progress, and quicker progress than she was expecting. Her next task was to make him laugh, and she was emboldened by the fact that she could potentially be able to kill two birds with one stone. 

They sat in silence for a little bit, but this time, it was a comfortable silence. Malfoy wasn’t staring at the clock on the wall or rolling his eyes at her every move, so she had time to plot.

On one hand, she could make a fool of herself--drop her inkwell, say something stupid in class, fall down the stairs--but she had a sneaking suspicion that her sorry attempts at slapstick humor wouldn’t land well with Draco anymore. He’d become so serious lately, so solemn. This was the most light hearted she’d seen him, even compared with how he acted with the rest of his Slytherin lackeys. 

On the other, she could try to sell out her friends. She could confide in him how “big” Hermione’s teeth were (they weren’t even big) or tell him that Ron smelled of eggs (true, but that was a low blow). Something told her that this would be much more successful, but she wasn’t willing to turn to that so quickly--she was already a week ahead as it was. 

“What is it?” 

Malfoy’s bored drawl cut through her flurried thoughts. Her cheeks turned pink as she blinked, noticing that she’d been staring at him for far too long. “Nothing. Sorry. I just spaced out.”

“Sure,” he mumbled, giving her another suspicious look before turning back to his work. “Can you maybe space out somewhere other than my face?”

“Where’s your vanity, Malfoy?” she pressed as she leaned back in her chair, hair swinging over the back. 

“Shut up,” he snapped. She could tell that whatever connection they’d had in the fleeting moments beforehand was being burnt by the second, but her embarrassment and pride drove her forward.

“Merlin, what’s got you so wound up?” she prompted, noting how deliciously unraveled he looked at this. “Where’s my cool, collected Slytherin?”

He slammed hands on his desk at this, whipping around to glare at her. “What’s your angle, Y/L/N?”

“What?”

“Why are you bothering me?”

“Because I want to.” She beamed.

Malfoy ran his fingers through his hair, mussing up the usual neat manner in which it normally laid on his head. “Compelling. What do you want from me?”

“What do I want…?” She tilted her head at him, narrowing her eyes. “What?”

“You never talk to me,” he explained. “Obviously, I prefer it like that. I can’t help but wonder why suddenly you want to be making small talk. So, what is it you want from me?”

“Malfoy,” she said. “I think you’re a spoiled prick who thinks far too highly of himself and drives me insane. But I also think that you’re funnier than what my friends give you credit for. Granted, you’ve always been annoying, but I don’t want anything from you. I just want to, I dunno, make these next few months less insufferable.” Somehow the lie slipped through her teeth easier than any of her previous bluffs. 

He frowned, his mouth opening once before firmly screwing shut into a scowl. “Oh.”

“No offense, Malfoy, but what else can you offer me other than your dazzling personality?” she teased. “You know my family. I don’t need to blackmail you to pay for jewelry I’ve had my eye on or anything.”

He scoffed. “As if I’d say yes.”

“Exactly my point. It’d be fucking weird. Merlin, I’m not trying to butter you up to buy out Borgin & Burkes for me. Do I give off gold-digger vibes? Is that what this is about?”

“Fucking hell.” Malfoy turned to her in disbelief. “Do you ever shut up?”

“Answer my question. Or better yet, pull out your wallet. Wait, did I say that out loud?” She mimed surprise and covered her mouth. “Oh no! What will my mother say now that I’ve squandered my last chance of hitching you? There’s no way I can go home for Christmas break now.”

He rolled his eyes so hard she found herself worried for a moment that they were going to just permanently get stuck in the back of his head. “Hate to break it to you, but you didn’t really have a shot to begin with.”

Ouch.

She huffed and dramatically flopped over the back of her chair, hoping he couldn’t see that she’d flinched. “So you don’t think I’m pretty??” 

“Y/L/N,” he snapped, his voice a low warning. “Can I please just work? What is with you today?”

Y/N sent him a sour look before giving her Charms work another look. Malfoy was awfully quiet, and when she snuck any glances at him later on, he was angled to face away from her. 

Why did she feel like such shit all of a sudden? She cataloged the past events, trying to pinpoint the exact moment that her stomach dropped. It all made sense when the words “You didn’t really have a shot to begin with” echoed around her head once again. She’d failed Harry. She’d failed Hermione. There was no way that she was going to be able to get him to reveal his secrets now--it’s not like he was confiding in even his closest friends as Harry made apparent when he explained how vague his statements were to his fellow Slytherins on the train. Her only chance would’ve been to somehow get him to fall for her, and that wasn’t going...great. And it had been a pipedream to begin with.

When McGonagall swished back into the classroom to dismiss them, Y/N shot out of there without even looking at Malfoy again. It felt like something was lodged in her throat and she was not going to cry in front of him. No, no. She had to make it to Hermione to tell her what was going on. 

“Y/L/N?” 

Malfoy’s voice made her pause in her flee as she nearly rounded the corner in front of her, but she refused to look back. It was far enough away that it was possible she didn’t hear him.

“Wait!”

She was up the stairs and speed walking as fast as her legs could carry her to the Gryffindor tower before he even saw which way she went.

~

“I don’t think you understand,” Y/N wailed by the fire as Hermione rubbed her shoulders and Harry sat awkwardly perched on the couch. “I can’t do this. The only way this was going to work was if he had a crush on me, and I don’t think he ever will. I fucked it up! The one time you guys need me, I fuck it up! I let you down!”

Hermione’s left hand stopped its rubbing to rest firmly on her shoulder. “Please don’t be upset. You didn’t let us down. Plus, you’re only, what...two weeks in? You don’t need him to like you to make it work. Just getting him to trust you will be enough, and you’re good at that.”

“I don’t think so,” continued Y/N. “Harry said that he wasn’t even that open on the train when he overheard him talking to all of his friends. And those are purebloods that he likes! That he’s trusted and known for years and years! I’m a friend of you guys, and he knows it. I think he’d figure it out quick.”

“We should take every chance we can get,” said Harry from his spot a few feet away, his eyes lazy and unfocused on the fire crackling in front of them. “You won’t let us down if you can’t get anything, Y/N, you know that! But if you got anything from him, it’d be incredible. It’s a win-win. I don’t understand why you’re so upset.”

“I’m not upset,” she said, her tone becoming defensive. “I just...don’t want to mess this up. I know how much it’d mean if I succeeded.”

“So just try!” Hermione said. “There’s nothing wrong with it. I’m sorry he was kind of mean to you today, but I don’t think that should bother you too much. He should be more afraid of what you’d say if you didn’t care about being a good person.”

“Fucking right on there,” she said, wiping away the frustrated tears. “If I was honest with him, he’d leave crying. He should be grateful that I’m taking this bet so I actually have to be nice to him.”

“That’s the spirit.” Harry leaned over to smack her back like he did his Quidditch teammates after a winning match. 

After they’d parted their ways with Harry, Hermione and Y/N made their way slowly up the stairwell to the girls’ dorms. 

“Y/N?” Hermione asked, breaking the silence. 

“Yeah?”

“Do you think, er…” She paused. “Do you think you were really upset about failing us today? Or was it something else?”

“What do you mean?” Y/N furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t see what else it would be.”

“I’m sorry,” responded the bright witch. “Forget I ever asked. It was a stupid thing to wonder about.”

“Weirdo,” she teased as she waved her a goodnight and made her way to her dorm.

The next morning, Y/N busied herself with revising her Charms essay over her breakfast--a cup of tea and a half-buttered piece of toast--while Hermione leaned over her shoulder, nodding or grimacing at the corrections she made. 

“Did you work during detention? Like, at all?”

“‘Mione,” moaned Y/N. “It’s too early for this. I don’t want a lecture. I just couldn’t focus.”

Her warm brown eyes narrowed as they bore into Y/N’s face. “Why were you distracted?”

“Oh, I, uh…” She stumbled over her words as Hermione drew closer. “Merlin, Hermione. I told you last night. I just felt like I was letting you all down.”

“Mhm,” was all she got in response before her best friend tilted her head back down to the parchment in front of her. 

Y/N sat, completely puzzled. What was Hermione on about? She’d been straightforward with what was hurting her--she didn’t want to mess up the only task the Golden Trio had ever given her--and, even if she hadn’t been, Hermione was smart enough to deduce things for herself. So what was she thinking about?

Her eyes drifted over to the Slytherin table where the usual 6th year pureblood gang loitered about, drinking black coffee and sulking--but Malfoy was not to be seen. She jumped when her eyes met Parkinson, her dark eyes burning into her soul as a deep scowl was written across her face.

“Malfoy, what the fuck do you want?” Ron’s voice pulled her back to reality to see him glaring somewhere behind her.

“I wasn’t here to talk to you,” a familiar voice drawled. 

She turned to see Malfoy standing behind her, a sneer written all across his stupidly pretty face.

“Miss me already?” asked Y/N as she raised an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side. 

“For fuck’s sake, stop doing that,” he mumbled, reaching into his pocket and throwing a box at her. “You forgot your quill. I took the liberty of properly storing it, because it seems like you lot like to just throw them in your bag. Makes me physically ill to watch.”

“Oh.” Y/N studied the intricate box in her hands before tucking it away in her knapsack. “Thanks? I guess?”

He nodded curtly, contorting his face into one last scowl to send to Ron before turning and leaving,

“So,” Hermione began, cutting her omelet at a much brisker pace, “I think we need to have a little chat. About...all of this.” 

“Why?” 

“Not right now,” she said, her voice low and her eyes flicking at Ron and Harry sitting across from them. “I don’t think it’d benefit us for them to hear.” 

“Ok?” She cautiously took a bite out of her toast and continued staring Hermione down. “You’re scaring me.”

“It’s...I don’t know. I thought I was crazy for thinking this, but it seems like we need to talk about it anyways. For this little mission of yours to work, we need to be totally open and honest with each other.”

“Sure.” Y/N took another bite. “I honestly have no clue what’s got you so on edge, though.”

“Who’s on edge?” Harry asked, leaning over the table and stealing the croissant on Y/N’s plate. 

“Hey!” she exclaimed. “Do you not see the entire plate of them over there?”

He laughed, sending her an easy grin and dunking a piece into the hot chocolate in his mug. “Finders keepers. Say, Y/N, are you busy next weekend? Ron and Lavender are going to Madame Puddingfoot’s together, and I know Hermione isn’t going to want to take a weekend off studying to go to Hogsmeade, so I thought that maybe we could go cause some trouble at the Cauldron.”

“If you stop stealing my food we can talk about it,” replied Y/N, the corners of her lips tugging up into a grin. 

“Deal.”

Hermione tugged at her arm. “I just realized I need to get something out of my room before we watch the Quidditch game. Will you come with me, Y/N?”

“Sure!” said Y/N. “Gee, I’m rolling in invitations today.”

Once they exited the dining hall, though, it immediately became evident that they were not actually heading up to the dorms. Hermione dragged her into the nearest bathroom before casting a quick silencing charm.

“Myrtle! Are you in here?” Only when she was sure silence was the only response to her question, she seemed satisfied to turn to Y/N and begin talking. “When were you going to tell me that you have a thing for Malfoy?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Y/N felt the heat that had risen to her cheeks from the last quill-encounter re-emerge.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” said Hermione. “Are you seriously going to expect me to believe that you nearly sobbed over some random pureblood git telling you you never had a chance with him because it might slow down your progress with helping us? Actually? I’ve seen you look more ecstatic about hearing that your dear granny passed away.”

“To be fair, she had really good life insurance,” Y/N cut in. “And she was an old hag. Never had a nice thing to say to me.”

“Life insurance or no life insurance...you can’t seriously expect me to believe that you were just upset about not being able to help us as much. That was ridiculous. I don’t buy it. And the way you blushed like crazy when he came over to talk to you--the way you try and pretend like you can flirt...please. Y/N, it’s clear as day. I know you, and I know you have a crush on him.”

“Hermione!” hissed Y/N. “You have no clue what you’re talking about!”

“Yes, I think I do,” she pushed. “And you need to be honest with me if you want to be of any help right now.”

Her bossiness lit a fire of rage in Y/N’s chest, but she sucked in a deep breath, shutting her eyes before releasing it. “Believe me when I say I haven’t ever acknowledged any feelings I may or may not have towards him.”

“Ok.” Her face softened. “I know it might take time, but I honestly do think I’m right. Please just...be careful. This is a really odd situation to get caught up in if you actually have feelings for the other person. You’re trying to manipulate him, for Merlin’s sake.”

“And if I have these feelings for him, I’ve done a pretty damn good job of suppressing them for however long they’ve been here.” 

Hermione sighed. “That’s true. I’m just saying that spending this much time with him is probably only going to make things worse. Will you please tell me if anything changes between the two of you?”

“Anything changes?” Y/N’s voice was dripping in disbelief. “You’re joking. Even if I was obsessed with him I don’t think there’s ever a chance of hell in anything ‘changing’ between us. He said it himself.”

“You know what I mean, Y/N,” responded Hermione. “Just promise me, ok?”

“Ok,” said Y/N. “I promise.”

That seemed to satiate Hermione as she nodded approvingly at her friend. “I think it goes without saying that Ron and Harry shouldn’t hear about this.”

“There’s nothing to hear about, but yes.” She shuffled her feet before meeting Hermione’s eyes again. “Er, I’m sorry for this being a weird question, but would you mind coming along with me and Harry to Hogsmeade? I don’t really see him like...that...and I don’t want to read into it too much and reject him if he is doing it just platonically, but just in case. Y’know.”

“Sure,” said Hermione, even though her face took on that curious expression yet again. “Anyways, you actually did forget something--you’re not wearing a single piece of Gryffindor colors for our game today. You should probably run back to your dorm before Harry and Ron notice.”

After they said their goodbyes, Y/N found herself turning over the things Hermione had said to her in her head. Did she like Malfoy? No, no fucking way. But a part of her really did think he was funny. And of course it was natural to feel rejected when anyone insinuates that they’d never consider you as a romantic interest without jest. 

Once she’d made it up to her room and grabbed a few scarves, Y/N made to put her red cloak into her satchel. Her fingers ghosted over the box that Malfoy had given her and scoffed once she saw the Malfoy crest engraved into the rich wood. 

Narcissistic snot.

Her curiosity got the better of her as she reached over to open up the elaborately decorated box. What met her was not just one quill but two--one of which was most certainly not her own. 

She took them both out, tossing the old one in a pile with her other trusty familiar white feather quills and picked up the other one. It looked familiar--identical to the quill that she’d complimented Malfoy on in Potions about a week ago. Butterflies began to flutter like crazy in her stomach as she turned it over in her hand, watching the gray and green glitter together and the magic sparkles cast a gentle light over her bed. She generally avoided dipping into her family’s pockets to get school supplies any more than she had to--it’s not like it made her friends feel good about themselves when they were reminded how rich her family was--but this might be what she could consider to be an exception. She hadn’t even liked his quill all that much when she first saw it in Potions--but it was one of those things that was so noticeable that it made sense to compliment him. 

She gave it one last look before tucking it back away into the elaborately decorated box. Perhaps she had spoken too soon when she’d told Hermione all hope was lost. 

~ 

When Monday morning Potions class with the Slytherins rolled around, Y/N wasted no time. Malfoy was alone--even his Slytherin lackeys seemed to know not to bother him. Just what she needed.

“Malfoy,” she greeted, setting her bag down on his table and looking him dead on. He raised to meet her eyes, his eyebrow raised.

“Can I help you?”

“I just wanted you to know that I also really like your immense fortune,” she said. “And your manor.”

“Well, a lot of people do,” he mumbled as he looked away to dig through something in his bag. If she didn’t know any better, she would’ve thought he was blushing.

“I’m just letting you know,” she continued. “In case you were wanting to give them away. It worked for the quill, so I thought, well, why not?”

He exhaled, a deep and annoyed sound escaping his lips as he rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. “I knew I shouldn’t have done that.”

“You really didn’t have to.”

“I was getting sick of it,” he told her. “I never can stick with one quill for too long, and I thought it’d be a shame to toss it. I thought it’d be better to be charitable--it’s not like your family could get an appointment at Barnaby’s if they tried.”

“Hey!” Y/N said indignantly. “You don’t know that!”

“I’ve heard your parents try to speak French,” he said. “If you’re anything like them, you'll be barred from ever entering the country.”

“Malfoy!” 

His lips turned up into a smile, a soft laugh escaping his lips. Y/N suppressed the urge to grin in return. Task 3? Done. “What?”

“I can’t even argue with you,” she said. “It’s tragic.”

She stared at the empty stool next to him, wondering if she should just take the leap and sit with him. Malfoy seemed unbothered by her presence as he opened up his Potions book and set it next to his cauldron. “Do you want a partner?” The words left her lips before she could stop them.

He cast her a curious look before glancing at the empty stool. “It depends. Are you going to be annoying?”

She gasped in faux-offense. “What makes you think I could ever be annoying?”

“On that note, I think you better get back to Potter.” He motioned with his head towards the side of the room where most of her Gryffindor friends were chatting. Harry was staring at her, his fists clenched by his side.

Y/N smirked and sent him a wink. 

“On that note,” she said, careful to imitate Malfoy’s drawl and sending him a smug grin, “Maybe I better sit here.”

“Hm.” He awarded her one more uninterested look before rolling up his sleeves and setting out the ingredients for the potion they were brewing--Amortentia. 

She tried not to make it too obvious that she was staring at his left arm, but there was nothing on it like Harry had told her. It was just pure, unblemished pale skin that shimmered under the light. Before he could catch her looking, she quickly sat down and started pulling out her own things. After a short pause, she decided to take out the silver quill. She’d left his box back in her room--she wouldn’t be caught dead with something that had the Malfoy crest on it--but she’d wrapped it in a pouch with her own family’s emblem on the front, shimmering in gold and red.

“Why don’t you just buy your own charmed quills?” asked Malfoy after they had chopped all of the gillweed. 

“You already know. We’re an abomination to the French. We aren’t allowed entry.”

“That’s not what I mean.” His tone was meant to read as exasperated, but his words still seemed good-natured.

“I...well.” She frowned. She’d never confessed this to anyone, but she supposed that Malfoy wasn’t going to find a way to use it against her. “I don’t like to flaunt my family wealth. I think it makes people, at least in Gryffindor, like me less. I learned that pretty early on.”

He hummed something in response before sliding all the gillweed into the cauldron, turning the clear liquid into a bubbling forest green. 

“Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?” she asked. 

He took his time finishing the note he was jotting down before he answered. “I’m not being nice. It’s just called being civil. You said it yourself, we see each other at balls sometimes.”

“We probably won’t anymore, though,” she mused. 

Malfoy’s eyebrows shot up, but his voice remained low and steady. “No. I suppose that we probably won’t. Is your family part of the Order?”

“Hm. Are you a Death Eater?” she asked brazenly. He had no business asking her something like that, and he knew it. Especially not with his family connections.

“What do you think?” he drawled, waving his bared left arm in front of her face.

“Bullshit. That doesn’t mean anything after we learned Glamour spells last year.”

“Guess you’ll just have to trust me, then,” he responded, focusing intently on the bubbling liquid in front of him instead of her face. 

“I guess so,” she replied. The weight of her Glamour comment began to sink in--she was right, after all. How had she not thought of it before? 

But he was right when he told her she just had to trust him. Could she? Y/N rested her chin in the palm of her propped hand as she watched him work. A piece of disobedient moonbeam blonde hair dangled over his forehead as he diced up the unicorn tail, his eyebrows furrowed in focus.

“Is this why you want to be my partner?” he finally asked after a few moments of silence. “So you can just stare at me while I do all the work?”

“There’s the vain Draco I know,” she said, grinning as she leaned over to punch his shoulder. 

He rolled his eyes again, scooting out of arm's reach before flipping back to Amortentia in his book. “You’re insufferable. And it’s Malfoy to you.”

“Fine, fine, Malfoy,” said Y/N. “What do you want me to do, then?”

He shoved his cutting board towards her, the half-diced unicorn tail staring up at her. “Finish dicing this and then stir it in. 9 times clockwise. I did almost all of the work, but it should be finished after that.”

Y/N sent him another glare before doing as he said. The glittering quill kept catching her attention from the corner of her eye, and she couldn’t help but notice that Malfoy was writing with just a plain white quill for the time being. HE really did just give it to me. 

After the final ingredients were diced, she began to stir, each rotation around the cauldron turning the potion to a different color. It began as the bubbling green, then a deep sea blue, then a royal purple, a crimson blood red, a glimmering gold--before settling into a pale silver.

“Wow. It’s beautiful,” she breathed. “It’s like...liquid starlight.”

“All thanks to me,” said Malfoy. “You didn’t even have to crush the Mandrake root.”

“You’re such a gentleman, Malfoy.” Her voice dripped in fake sincerity. “So, what do you smell?”

Y/N was expecting him to scowl at her and tell her that it wasn’t any of her business, but he actually leaned over the cauldron and shut his eyes. 

“I’ve never been good at explaining what things smell like.” 

“Fair.”

Once he leaned back, she took his place, shutting her eyes and breathing in a tendril of the beautiful potion. “Whoa.”

“What’s it for you?”

“I don’t...know,” she admitted. “It’s not something I can describe note by note. It kind of reminds me of something, though.”

“Something with Potter, I presume?” he said, casually twirling his generic white quill around his fingers.

“No,” she answered, surprised at how honest she was being. “It’s…I’m trying to think. Er, it’s very lavish. It reminds me of when I was younger and my parents would drag me to galas and balls and whatnot.” 

He stared at her in silence.

“What about you? Does it remind you of anything?”

“Yeah.” Malfoy reached forward to put a lid on the cauldron, effectively shutting out the steam from reaching either of them.

“Ooh, have you figured it out yet?” she teased, crossing her legs and turning to face him head on. “Let me guess. Is it someone like…”

She paused, a wicked smile stretching across her face. “Oh my god, is it Hermione? Or Luna? Or...help me out here!”

“No.” His voice was sour. 

“Ah, it’s Parkinson then, isn’t it? Tell her I’m sorry for throwing food at her if you ever have the chance. Make sure to add the part where I’m more sorry that I missed.” 

“Y/L/N!”

“It’s okay. I’d be a little let down, too.”

“Can you please just…” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Please just stop. I haven’t figured it out. Okay? Happy now?”

“I’ll leave you alone,” said Y/N. “Under one condition. You give me a hint. I’ve given you everything I know! This isn’t fair.”

“This doesn’t have to be fair,” he hissed.

Y/N kept the easy smile plastered on her face while she waited, her eyebrows raised in anticipation.

“You’re not going to let up until I tell you, are you?”

“You’d be right on that,” she said, sugary sweet.

“Fine. It’s something kind of floral.” 

“How descriptive,” she snorted as she slumped back in her stool, thinking hard. Where had she smelled it before? Y/N shut her eyes, leaning her head back and trying to immerse herself into the memory that had surfaced. It smelled like grandeur, like an open ballroom full of guests wearing expensive perfumes. She could feel spinning, spinning like she was with a dance partner. Who was it? She couldn’t quite remember--the last ball she’d been to had been years ago--but after she leaned forward and smelled the Amortentia once more time, she came to a conclusion.

“I had to have danced with him at a gala before,” she announced to Malfoy, who was looking quite unimpressed. “So I know it’s no one from Gryffindor.”

“Interesting,” was all he said before turning to his parchment and jotting something down.

Late that night, while Y/N was settling into bed, a strange idea struck her. Sure that the thought that was nagging her was completely fruitless, she had no trouble with reaching into her desk and pulling out the Malfoy box. She just had to check if she wanted to sleep well.

Here goes.

She closed her eyes, imagining the expensive scent of her Amortentia. Then she opened it, stuck her nose into the fabric, and breathed in.

Well, fuck. 

~

The internal debate going through Y/N the next day at the breakfast table was intense. On one hand, she really, really wanted to just tell Hermione that Malfoy had been in her Amortentia and she was completely fucked, but on the other…

She glanced at the witch next to her as she methodically sliced her toast into perfect, equivalent squares before dunking them in jam. Y/N liking Malfoy was not going to fit into her toast cubes. If she said anything, she would lose her excuse to talk to her about him. And her excuse to try and get close with him. 

Perhaps I can figure it out tomorrow. 

When tomorrow came, she still hadn’t made progress. Y/N was beginning to think that her so called “revelation” after they brewed Amortentia was truly just complete and utter bullshit. So what that his quill box smelled like it--all rich people kind of smelled the same at some points, and so did their houses. There was a reason why she couldn’t immediately pin the scent to anything--it wasn’t like she even knew what Malfoy smelled like.

But the truth remained that she was still attracted to someone who happened to be a rich Slytherin--so naturally, her mind began to wander. There’s no way it was Zabini--his mother owned a fragrance line, and she would’ve instantly recognized the cologne that she knew Mrs. Zabini made him wear--and there was absolutely no way that it was Crabbe or Goyle, so the only other Slytherin it left was...Nott? But that didn’t make sense either--she’d never spoken to him before in her life, even less than Malfoy. So perhaps it would be better if she didn’t think on it.

The next day of potion brewing came on a stormy Wednesday. Malfoy and Y/N worked silently together to brew a Draught of Dreamless Sleep. She was surprised to see how practiced his movements were--he didn’t even have to reference the book to recite the exact measurements and directions.

“Do you have bad dreams or something?” she asked, mostly as a joke. He didn’t seem to pick up on the light-heartedness and stiffened up.

“No?”

“Gee, you’re talkative today,” Y/N said, trying to ignore how her hand brushed his by accident when she added the scoop of anjelica. 

“Excuse me for not entertaining you,” he drawled. “I wasn’t expecting to have such a needy potions partner today.”

“I am not needy!” she gasped, smacking his arm. “I’ve sat in silence for a full hour!”

He rolled his eyes (he was always rolling his eyes) and gave the potion one more final stir before setting the lid on the cauldron. “Think you can do that again? It needs to simmer for that long.”

“Just because you’re so sweet to me,” crooned Y/N before pulling out a heavy book from her satchel. Her Charms exam was tomorrow, and, naturally, she had decided to save all of her revising work until the night before. The textbook stared back at her as she jotted a few notes onto a previously blank sheet of parchment. The quill in her hands was light and glided across the paper like the tears of Merlin, something that she had forgotten quills could do. All of her familiar basic quills were okay, but they were prone to skidding and breaking. This nib hadn’t worn down in the slightest, still at a smooth and defined peak.

Y/N couldn’t believe that, out of all people, the person to give her such a thoughtful gift was Draco Malfoy. She tried to sneak a glance at him then, moving her curtain of hair away from her face. It took all she had in her to not be startled at the fact that he was already looking back, a slightly concerned expression etched into his face.

“Is something wrong?” 

He snapped out of it the moment the words left her lips, his face hardening. “No.”

“Forget I ever asked,” she responded, turning away from him for good and focusing on her textbook. No, there was no way he could be what she smelled in her Amortentia. She liked to think that her subconscious wasn’t secretly a masochist.

~

Friday evening swung around again, much to Y/N’s dismay. She’d had a talk with Hermione later on in the week, confirming that no, she did not smell Malfoy in her Amortentia, and that yes, she was still abiding by the plan that Hermione had so carefully laid out for her. It did bother her a bit that she could be lying to her on both fronts--but at the end of the day, she was going to get the answers that Harry wanted, no matter what. 

She just had to get through the scary ass castle first. She’d forgotten how spooky Hogwarts was after her previous sprint to the door, and this time she was positively trembling by the time she turned another dark corner on her way to McGonagall’s office. Yet another cursed item had been found in the girl’s lavatory on the 3rd floor, right by some of the classes that she had taken earlier in the week. The fact that whoever was out there was capable of dark magic and actively wanted to hurt people terrified her, all that Gryffindor bravery be damned. 

So when she heard footsteps suddenly right beside her, it was no wonder that she jumped feet in the air.

“Fuck!” she sputtered, turning to see a very familiar blonde in Slytherin robes. He was frozen in place, curiously looking her up and down.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“Malfoy,” Y/N said, resisting the urge to melt into a puddle of relief at the sight. This wasn’t right--wasn’t he a suspected Death Eater? “You scared me.”

He scoffed, digging his hands into his pockets. “You’re supposed to be the brave ones, right?”

“Huh?”

Malfoy motioned to her Gryffindor jumper. 

“Oh.” Heat rushed to her cheeks as she realized what he meant. “I dunno. I just get jumpy around the castle at night.”

“No shit.” They’d begun to walk now, side by side. Y/N couldn’t remember ever walking with him before--she’d always been late. “Do you think I forgot the way you screamed when you saw me at the tower?”

“Shut up,” she grumbled, reaching over and giving him a healthy shove. 

They walked in silence together. Malfoy moved noticeably slower than he normally did so he wouldn’t leave Y/N’s shorter legs in tow. McGonagall seemed pleasantly surprised to see Malfoy hold the door open for her.

“I’m glad to see you two getting along,” she said, giving Y/N a hesitant nod before grabbing the stack of papers on her desk. “I’ll be back momentarily.”

After she exited the room with a swish of her deep maroon robes, Malfoy turned to her. “Are you scared of the dark or something?”

She turned, ready to send a biting retort his way, before she noticed how gray his pallor looked...and how big the circles under his eyes were. “You look like shit, Malfoy. Is everything okay?”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t change the subject.”

“Oh. Um…” Y/N pause before deciding that the little tidbit of information she was about to reveal wasn’t that important anyways. “I’m just on edge at night at Hogwarts is all. Especially with all that weird shit going on with all the cursed objects. So I kind of hate walking to and from detention.”

Malfoy let out something that sounded like a strained laugh.

“You didn’t answer my question. Is everything okay?”

“None of your business,” he snipped. “I just had a bad night.”

“Do you have trouble sleeping?” she asked, unable to keep herself from prying.

“Something like that.”

“Have you tried lavender?���

“I’m sorry?” He frowned.

“Lavender. Like the essential oil. It’s nothing magical,” she explained. “I just like to spray it in my bed sometimes before I sleep. Or I’ll use a few drops in a diffuser. I have trouble sleeping too, all the time, actually.” She shut her mouth before she had any chance to ramble further.

“It sounds a bit too floral for my taste.”

“Here.” Y/N dug around in her satchel, searching for the tiny spray bottle she kept with her at all times. “Borrow this and spritz your pillow with it before you sleep, and then tell me it’s too floral. I promise it helps.”

He glared at her. She extended her hand with the white bottle that was covered in purple decor, raising her eyebrows expectantly. “I won’t tell anyone that you have it if that’s what you’re worried about or whatever.”

“Fine,” he snapped, snatching it from her hand and dragging his fingers over her palm for just a second. “Don’t expect me to actually try it, though.”

“Just give it a sniff.” 

He huffed, but to her surprise, he actually uncapped the top and held the spray hole up to his nose, inhaling in once.

The effect was immediate. Malfoy’s face completely drained of color, becoming even grayer than he’d been when she first saw him under the light. The briefest expression of surprise fleeted over his face before he wiped it off, replacing it with something unreadable and tossing it back at her. “I’m not using this.”

“Why not?”

“Not quite my taste,” he spat.

Y/N was shocked by the sudden outburst, watching as he continued to glower at his desk. “I don’t understand. It really does help you sleep. I know it seems stupid, but I...really think you should try it. Just once, if anything.”

“Why does it matter so much to you?”

“Because I--” Y/N stopped herself before she let her mouth run without check. “I know what it’s like is all. I feel like shit if I don’t sleep. Plus, I have to spend time with you every Friday. I imagine that you’ll be slightly more tolerable if you sleep more.”

“Hm.” He sent her a particularly venomous glare. “Thanks for your concern. Consider me uninterested, though.”

“You break my heart,” she teased, pulling back her hand and placing the bottle on the corner of her desk. An idea struck her.

“And just what are you smiling about?” Draco said. His lips were turned into a sour frown. 

“Nothing, nothing,” she responded, her voice adopting a sing-song quality. All she had to do now was wait. 

He exhaled, a deep and exasperated sound. Then he turned back to whatever was in front of him.

McGonagall entered the room a few minutes later, nodding cordially at the comfortable silence the two students were in. What she didn’t know was that Y/N was waiting, just waiting for Malfoy to dig through his satchel and stop paying attention to his quill.

She got her opportunity a few minutes later, when McGonagall called him up to look over his latest Transfiguration homework.

“Mr. Malfoy, I’m happy to see that you’re taking more initiative in getting your assignments done...I have to say that you had me a bit concerned…”

While her professor kept Malfoy occupied, Y/N darted over and grabbed his quill. 

Ha.

Malfoy frowned down at his desk when he returned, giving Y/N a suspicious look.

“What is it, Malfoy?” she said, hoping her voice conveyed nothing that might hint that she took something of his.

“Nothing.”

“Hm.”

The rest of detention passed without any more discussion. Y/N was eager to run up to her dorm and set up her plan to be carried out the next morning, but she calmed her bouncing leg and forced herself to keep a straight face when McGonagall dismissed them.

“Got somewhere to be, Y/L/N?” Malfoy’s voice called after her as she sped down the hall towards the Gryffindor tower. 

“What’s it to you?” she fired back.

He didn’t respond. Instead, he picked up his pace until he was walking next to her.

“Aren’t the Slytherin dorms the other direction?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Are they?” 

She allowed herself to be amused by the way words flowed out of his mouth when he was slightly out of breath. “Why are you walking with me?”

“You said it yourself.” He kept his eyes cast on the cobblestones below them. “You don’t like walking alone at night.”

“Uh...oh.” Against her will, her feet froze and she was glued to the ground. “You’re joking, right?”

If the lighting wasn’t so dim, Y/N would have good reason to believe he was blushing with how intently he was studying his fingernails. “By all means, I can be.”

“No! No, I didn’t mean it like that,” she said, the words tumbling out of her mouth. “Er...I’d like you to. If you want to, that is.”

He shrugged, an elfish expression spreading across his face as he took in how nervous she was. “Well, come to think of it, you didn’t ask me to. I suppose I better get back to the Slytherin dorms anyways. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near the Gryffindor Tower right now.”

“Why?” she squeaked.

“Oh, you know, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that most of the cursed things showed up on your side of the castle, yeah?”

She gulped.

“I gotta get going. Don’t want to stand around here too long. This place gives me the creeps.” With that, he turned and began walking away.

“Malfoy?” She hated how timid her voice sounded. “Consider this me asking you to walk with me.”

He slowly faced her, a sly grin plastered all over his face. “Oh? Did I hear that correctly? Do you want me to?”

“I’m only going to say this once,” she said, putting her hands on her hips and trying her best to look intimidating. “Walk with me. Please.”

“I guess I’ll take it.” Malfoy glided down the hallway to her in just a couple steps, sending her yet another smug look.

“You made up that whole ordeal about Gryffindor Tower being targeted, didn’t you?” asked Y/N as they rounded the corner to reach the staircase leading up to the common room.

“You bought it, didn’t you?” 

“Who says I didn’t just want you to walk with me?” pushed Y/N. This was as close to flirting as it would ever get for her--but it looked like, somehow, things were falling into place. The heat in her cheeks must’ve been from the excitement of making progress. 

Malfoy’s toe caught on the first stair and, if it weren’t for Y/N’s steady grip on his arm, would’ve made him go sprawling across the stone steps. 

“Merlin, Malfoy,” she said, immediately dropping her grip from his shoulder. “What’s gotten into you?”

He responded with an unceremonial snort and a withering glare. The rest of the walk was done in silence, and Y/N noted how careful his footwork became around the Gryffindor steps.

“This is me,” she finally said once they reached the tapestry for the Gryffindor dorms. He seemed surprised, and only then did it strike her that he’d probably never seen the entrance himself before. “Thanks for being such a gentleman.”

“I live to serve,” he drawled.

And just like that, he was gone.

~

Her plan was simple. She had located an extra monogrammed pouch in her cabinet, a rich mahogany color with her family crest in a vivid gold, and placed both his quill and the lavender bottle. She would corner him after breakfast or follow him out of the Great Hall and show him then.

However, it was becoming increasingly obvious that Malfoy was not coming to Saturday morning breakfast. Many people didn’t, but Y/N had never known him to miss it. His normal spot was vacant, and it certainly wasn’t a house-made decision as all of his Slytherin friends were present and accounted for. Y/N couldn’t say for sure, but she could see Parkinson turning her head to the entrance every time the doors thudded open before glancing back to Malfoy’s empty seat when it turned out to be someone else.

Where was that loser?

“Excuse me,” she said to the trio as she stood up and brushed off her skirt. “I think I’m going to go get some fresh air. I have a bitch of a headache.”

Hermione and Harry expressed their sympathies while Ron gave her a characteristic mumble through his mouthful of bread, and she was off with the pouch secured in her cloak pocket.

It was a clear November morning, clearly Mother Nature’s attempt to slowly move the world from the crisp autumn to a cold winter. The sky was clear and the sun’s rays warmed her skin at a slanted angle, casting weak shadows across the courtyard.

If I were Malfoy, where would I go to sulk?

The obvious answer was either the Slytherin common room or his own dorm, but that was without a doubt out of question for her. She wasn’t even sure if she possessed the knowledge to guess which corridor the entrance was in, much less work out the password herself. Beyond that, just getting into the common room and waiting would be...She shivered. It would be a terrible idea while she was clearly wearing a cloak in Gryffindor red and gold trim. 

As she continued her aimless wander around the castle, she heard the slightest sound from the girl’s bathroom on the second floor. It wasn’t ever really in use--no one came in there to actually use the loo unless they wanted Myrtle to materialize and tell them her supernatural troubles while they were in the middle of their personal business--but it was often the source of strange happenings. 

Like the cursed objects she thought to herself, her nails digging into her palms. But did she care about that right now? Surely cursed objects seemed somewhat...suspicious. Dark magic was difficult to hide, and to a pureblood eye that grew up around magical objects, cursed things shouldn’t be impossible to spot. 

And, plus, it was Malfoy she was looking for. None of the students had died from the curses so far, and if she was able to break through and learn something, or at the very least gain his trust, the reward to the Order would be more than worth it.

She stepped in, expecting to see an entirely empty bathroom with perhaps a ghost rattling around at the sink. Instead, a different sight awaited her.

Draco Malfoy was clutching the edge of the cracked sink basin in front of him, rocking himself back and forth and shaking. From her vantage point, she could see that he was dressed in his normal garb--a black ensemble--but his hair was unruly and messy, sticking up in the back like he’d hurriedly tugged something over his head.

A strangled gasp grounded her and halted her curious observations. Malfoy began to make these awful sobbing sounds, like he could barely manage to breathe. 

Y/N was frozen in place as she surveyed her options. If she stayed and tried to talk to him, he might react in anger or hurt her. But if she just left him, like this, all alone...She swallowed once before stepping forward.

“Malfoy? Are you okay?” Obviously he’s not, you bint said a voice deep in her brain. She pushed it aside as he swung around, his wand raised and his eyes blazing. “Whoa! I’m not going to...Put your wand down!”

He stared at her, his eyes wide with horror as he continued to shake, so much so that his wand slipped out of his hand and clattered to the floor. Without thinking, Y/N reached into her pocket and flung her wand away, holding her hands up.

“I’m not going to try anything. I promise.”

As she drew closer, she could see the remnants of tears on his wet cheeks and the way that his silver eyes were rimmed with a bloodshot red. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” he hissed, his voice weak and cracking. 

“Neither should you. This is the girl’s bathroom.”

final a/n: ok so lmk if you guys wants me to continue. i really did not edit the last half fjkdsal;f also kinda made this an au where malfoy tried to assassinate dumbledore. with more than one cursed object but dw it’ll all make sense ill clear that up 😭

#draco malfoy #draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco imagine #draco malfoy imagine #draco x you #draco #draco malfoy x you #draco x y/n #draco malfoy x y/n #draco x oc #draco malfoy x oc

[backtothefanfiction]

WHAT BENNY DOESN’T KNOW | Chapter 3

A TRIPLE FRONTIER STORY

Summary: When you find yourself stranded at a bar, Will is luckily on hand to take you home.

Warnings: Mature 18+ ONLY!!! The smut train is back kids, you have been warned. This chapter features strong language and scenes of a sexual nature. (oral male receiving, unprotected sex {you know the old saying kids, don’t be silly})

Word Count: 4815

A/N- This ones for the Will Miller fans. I’ve just come from a very chaotic work shift so I cannot wait to get all your wonderful feedback as always to make me feel better. I also want to take a moment to give some unspoken subtext for clarity due to some of the aspects of this chapter. Reader is very open about their body and so all TF gents are aware of birth control situation and that reader is protected in that way. Also I have never been on a motorbike so take this chapter as creative license and forgive me. I also just want to say I have written the Italy chapter which will be coming to you Monday. It is a fucking monster (pardon my language) and I can’t wait for you all to read it, but for now enjoy chapter three.

PART THREE | 6 MONTHS LATER

You and Santiago's had both gone on missions mere days later which saw you away from home for a good six months. When you got back you found that Santi had come back for a few weeks about a month ago but had had to take off again before you'd had a chance to see him.

You had been back for a couple of days and decided to organise an evening at your favourite local bar with your sister for a catch up. You sat on the bar stool waiting anxiously, the bar tender giving you looks of pity ever couple of minutes. You're phone, which you had placed on the bar top pinged and you eagerly checked the text on the screen. 'Sorry, something came up with Jared and I'm not gonna make it. Can we take a rain check?' you slammed your phone back onto the bar top as you let out a small animalistic grunt of frustration.

“Well you look like you're nights going just as well as mine is.” came a familiar voice from beside you. You looked up to find Will taking the seat beside you. “When did you get back?” he asked an arm coming out to wrap around you, pulling you into him.

“Two days ago.” you said into his ear, your head resting comfortably against the top of his shoulder as you hugged him. “What are you doing here?” you asked him as you pulled your arms back, shifting yourself on your bar stool to get a better look at him.

“Shitty date.” he said.

“I didn't realise you were putting yourself back out there.” you said, your fingers reaching to fiddle with your glass in front of you.

“Yeah, well I can't mope around forever.” he sighed deeply. “You want another one?” he questioned, pointing to the now empty glass in your hand.

“Uh, I was supposed to be meeting my sister but she bailed on me.” you began to explain.

“Shitty husband?”

“Shitty husband.” you confirmed. Will was well versed in your family drama. He'd once had to break up a fight between your sister's husband and Benny at a BBQ when Jared had gotten drunk and decided to challenge Benny. It had not been pretty.

“Still you want to stick around for another drink with me or...?” He let the question hang openly in the air between you.

“Sure.” you said. “I mean it'll probably take a while before I can get a taxi home anyway.”

“I've got my bike outside if you want me to give you a lift back, save you spending money on cab. I mean if you don't mind the bike that is?”

You thought about it a moment looking back down at your glass before looking back up to meet his eyes again. “Uh yeah, okay. That'll be great. Thanks.” you said. He turned and gave the bar tender a nod, grabbing you two more drinks.

“So what have I missed?” you asked.

“Well, Pope came back last month. I hadn't seen him since we all went out for Benny's birthday.” you raised your eyebrows in disbelief. “Yeah. We hung out with him a bit while he was back. Kept going on about some girl he'd slept with that night, saying it was the best sex he'd ever had. Brought it up any chance he could get.” you snorted and choked slightly as your drink went down the wrong hole, the statement leaving you shocked. “Hey, you okay?” Will said, a hand gently patting your back.

“Uh yeah. I'm fine, just went down the wrong hole.” you coughed, wiping at your face with your sleeve. “Um did he say when he was coming back next.”

“No. I think he said maybe four months but he said it could be longer depending. What about you? How long you back for?” he questioned.

“Not sure yet.” you replied. “Until the next assignment comes in I guess.”

You carried on talking like that for another 40 minutes, the conversation flowing easily. “Hey you ready to go?” he asked when he noticed you'd finished your drink.

“Uh yeah, of course.”

You followed Will out the front to where his bike was sat waiting. He handed you his spare helmet. “You bring this just in case your date went well?” you teased him, poking him with the helmet before you began placing it on your head.

“Yeah, something like that.” he said, giving you a sheepish grin. He hooked his leg over the bike and you climbed on behind him, your arms wrapping tightly around his torso. “When's the last time you were on a bike?” he asked you as the bike roared to life beneath you.

“Probably Columbia, two years ago.” you shouted over the noise. You felt his body shake as he let out a laugh. He was about to enjoy this.

He took off quickly, speeding out of the parking lot, catching you off guard making you let out a squeal as you took a moment to find your balance. You felt his stomach move beneath your fingers as he let out another chuckle at your expense. You gave him a playful slap before resting your head against his back, easing into the feeling of the air around you and the hum of the engine between your legs. You wrapped your arms tighter around him and buried your nose into him, breathing in his smell. Will always smelt good. He took a hand off one of the handle bars, brushing the back of your hand gently, reassuringly, before securing it back to the bike. The feeling had sent a buzz through your skin and you couldn't help but be aware of the way it passed through your body. You felt a fluttering feeling between your legs and you bit your lip. Uh Oh. No, no this was not happening, this couldn't be happening. You were getting turned on by this.

You quickly adjusted your hold around him, trying to focus and ground yourself but your hand ended up brushing against his crotch. It had only been a brief second but it had made you flinch in embarrassment and you wrapped your arms around him even tighter, pulling yourself forward on the bike, grinding into his butt between your legs. Shit! If he hadn't felt your hand brush against his cock he had definitely felt that. You braced yourself as he stopped at a red light, your breath held tightly in your chest. You nibbled your lip anxiously, your eye's squeezing shut waiting for him to do something, mock you or chastise you. What he did do next surprised you.

He took his hand off the handle bar again, his fingers searching for yours across his abs. He wrapped his hand around them, lifting it gently away from where you had been holding him and intentionally moving your hand down, placing it over the growing bulge in his jeans. You lifted your head up to look at him, but he kept his eyes forward. He let go of your hand, reaching to run his fingers along your thigh, resting against the side of the bike. You licked your lips nervously. What was happening right now?

The traffic light before you turned amber and Will placed his hand back on the handle bars, revving the engine of the bike in preparation but also sending a flood of extra vibrations through the bike that buzzed against your core. You couldn't fault the Captain, he knew exactly what he was doing.

You still had one hand around his waist and one hand over his cock, when he pulled up outside your place. There was a sudden silence as the engine cut out and he climbed off the bike. You couldn't help but watch him intently. Will was more of a man of action than a man of words. He took off his helmet, threading it onto the handle bars, before turning towards you and leaning against the bike. His arms folded before you as he waited for you to gingerly take your own helmet off, not once breaking eye contact with him.

“So what do you wanna do?” he finally asked when you had decided to remain silent. You licked your lips as you thought over the best way to respond.

“Do you want to come in?” was the line you finally decided on, but your voice was timid, it lacked conviction. You wanted him to take control. He nodded slightly before taking a step back, allowing you some room to attempt to get off the bike as gracefully as you could. You placed the helmet on the seat, while Will put his hands in his pockets. He fiddled with his keys as he attempted to hide his nervousness.

He'd be lying to himself if he had said he'd never thought about you in that way before. Seeing you in a bikini when you had all taken a trip to the beach. When you had gone out dancing for his birthday and chosen the skimpiest dress in your closet to wear. On lazy Sundays when you had stayed over at his and Benny's place, your tiny pyjama shorts riding up as you reached for things off the top shelves of their kitchen cabinets. That's exactly where his eyes fell now as he followed you up to your apartment. Your jeans hugging your ass just right as you walked up the stairs ahead of him.

You gave him a sheepish smile as you unlocked the door, ushering him inside. The silence was filled with the clicking of light switches as you began to switch on lamps, creating a cosy atmosphere. He was so stealthy you hadn't notice him come up behind you until you turn and was faced with his chest. You slowly lifted your eyes up, your head tilting to allow you to look at his lips, then up further to his eyes. “Just tell me if you want to stop.” he said before placing his finger under your chin, guiding your face closer to his.

You couldn't even call it a kiss the way his lips barely grazed yours but it was electric, sending shivers throughout your whole body making you want to throw yourself at him. He whispered your name against your lips, a question, he wanted you to answer the previous statement.

You gave your head a slight shake. “No.” your voice was quiet. “No, I don't want to stop.” you closed the gap between his lips and your own, your hands snaking up to wrap around his neck. He wrapped his arms around your lower back, pulling you closer to him, deepening the kiss. You exhaled deeply through your nose as you let out a breath you hadn't realised you'd been holding.

Will brought one of his hands up, to brush away the hair that was falling over the side of your face, getting in the way. He tucked it behind your ear, before letting his fingers rest around the base of your head, his thumb grazing your jaw. You found yourself moaning hungrily into the kiss, but then a thought crossed your mind that made your rapidly break away. “Wait, wait.” you said breathlessly. He dropped his hold around the back of your head and leaned back to get a better look at you. He waited silently for you to continue as you caught your breath. “There's something I have to tell you.” you said licking your lips, already missing the feeling of his against them. You relaxed your hands from around his neck, allowing them to rest on his shoulders and you were glad when he didn't try and pull away. “I was the girl Santiago slept with after Benny's birthday.” you said trying to make your words as calm as possible.

Of all the things Will was expecting you to say, it was not that. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth as he lowered his head slightly shaking it. You weren't sure if it was a grin on his face or a grimace. “I just thought I should say. I don't want to make things complicated between you guys.”

He took a step back from you, a small huffed chuckle escaping his lips as he ran a hand up through his hair. Your face fell to the floor. Shit you'd fucked this up. You shouldn't have said anything. “Does this change everything?” you asked timidly to the floor.

Will chuffed in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?” he asked stepping forward to you, making you look up at him. “If you heard the way he talks about that night. You think I'd give up the chance to experience that?” Your eyes looked at him hopefully. He closed the space between you, smashing his lips into yours, his hands planted firmly either side of your face, not allowing you to get away from him. You flung your arms around his neck and he dropped his own hands down to cup underneath your ass. He lifted you up into his arms seamlessly and began carrying you towards your bedroom.

He took a seat on the edge of your bed so you were straddling his lap. You broke off the kiss, reaching down to lift your shirt up over your head, throwing it across the room, Will following your actions quickly took off his own. He took a moment to take in your boobs, his hands reaching up to grab them, leading your body back closer to his so he could attach his lips to yours again. You fixed your hands around his shoulders, pushing them backwards towards the bed. Your lips followed his the whole way down, your hair falling around both your faces.

You reluctantly broke your lips away, leaning back to flick your hair out of the way, but also to give your hands the space to move between your two bodies as you began to unbutton his jeans. You slid yourself backwards off of Will and the bed, your knees hitting the carpet as you pulled both his jeans and pants down at the same time, his hips lifting slightly allowing you to get them off easier.

You pulled the items of clothing off of his ankles throwing them behind you. You were aware of him shifting slightly on the bed and looked up to find he'd propped himself up on his elbows to get a better look at you on the floor before him. His gaze made you pause a moment, fully taking him in. All of you had been out of active service for years but Will looked exactly the same as he had at the height of his career. You knew his younger brother took good care of his body, what with him now having a ‘somewhat’ career as a prize fighter, but you hadn't realised just how well Will had maintained his muscular physique.

You let your eyes drop from his piercing eyes, letting them trail down the defined lines of his chest then abs, until finally they landed on his half ready member. You looked back up to his eyes, keeping eye contact with him as you sat yourself up properly again, his legs adjusting slightly to allow you a better position between them as your hand slowly raked up the muscles of his thighs until they reached the prize that lay patiently waiting for you at the top of them.

You watched intently as Will's head dropped backwards, his eyes closing in bliss at the feeling of your hands wrapping around his cock, your gentle grasp slowly working him up.  A small grin began to take over your face in reaction to the feeling of his member growing and getting ever harder under your controlled touch, a sensation of power taking over you.

Will let out a breathy groan of satisfaction as he suddenly felt your tongue, swipe up his entire length. “Fuck.” he exclaimed as he pulled his head back up to look at you, one of his arms reaching out to place a caring hand around the side of your head, guiding you as you began to take his length into your mouth. You both made an effort to keep eye contact as you bobbed up and down on his dick but Will lost it when you took him to the point he hit the back of your throat and you gagged slightly. His eyes closed as his head hung back in bliss again. For a moment it felt like he'd died and gone to heaven and it took him a second to put himself back into the room. He couldn't believe this was happening.

You pulled back, allowing yourself a moment to breath, as you used your hand to continue working at his saliva covered cock. Will looked down at you once more and before you had a chance to take his length into your mouth again, he was sitting himself up, reaching his hands out for your face, pulling you into a deep kiss instead. He made you stand up straight and you had to let go of his cock as his fingers brushed down your body until he reached the waistband of your pants. You stared down at him in silence as his fingers began undoing the buttons of your jeans. He leant forward to leave kisses across your stomach as he gently pulled down your jeans and underwear at the same time, just like you had for him. His lips tickled against your skin and you found your hands reaching out to steady yourself against his shoulders as your eyes closed, head relaxing due to the sensation passing from his touch that sent a fuzzy feeling all the way up to the very tip top of your skull.

You felt the fabric pool thickly at your ankles and you maintained your hold on his shoulders as you pulled your feet free from the tangle of denim that engulfed them. He tossed the jeans out of the way with one hand, the other taking a firm hold of your hip, his thumb circling across the bare skin. “Will.” his name fell breathily from your lips and he looked up to take you in, his other hand coming to rest on your other hip, his hold becoming firmer.

“Come here.” his voice came back, gentle yet commanding as he pulled you back onto the bed on top of him as he lay back against the mattress. His hands came up to grasp either side of your head, his fingers tangling into your hair as he pulled your lips down against his own. You felt his tongue brush against your lower lip and you happily relaxed further into his mouth, your tongue coming out to gently melt against his.

You felt his hips grind up into you, his erection rubbing against your clit sending a sensation through your core and you sighed into him. He used the opportunity to suck your lower lip in between his lips, pulling at it slightly, only intensifying the feeling growing between your legs. You felt one of his arms reach around your lower back and before you could even acknowledge the feeling of his other hand becoming firmer on the back of your head, you found your whole body being flipped round, Will settling himself on top of you between your thighs.

He manoeuvred his arm out from under your back so he could run his hand up the length of your leg, encouraging it to wrap around his side. You broke away from his lips to look intensely into his eyes in anticipation. He brushed his thumb across your cheek with the hand that still cradles your head while his other hand lines himself up with your entrance. You exhale sharply when you feel him drag his cock through your slick folds, the tip nudging your sensitive clit. You feel the hand against your cheek grow firmer as he forces you to keep eye contact with him as he gently eases himself into you, your mouth hanging open in a silent gasp as you adjust to his size. You pursed your lips together and you watched as Will's eyes followed the movement before he smashed his lips back against them, his hips rolling himself deeper inside you. You let out another gasp against his lips at the sensation. “Ah fuck.” you breathed the words against his mouth as he gave you a moment to adjust, the hand against your face smoothing your hair back.

You began moulding your lips to him once more and he took that as his sign to begin slowly thrusting his cock in and out of you. He was in the perfect position without even trying, his cock dragging against your gspot with every agonisingly slow thrust. You brought your hands up either side of his face and pushed his forehead into your own as your mouth hung open, breathing becoming laboured. His pace was torturous, controlled, making you feel every motion his cock made inside you. He forced you to continue looking at him, his eyes watching your every facial expression carefully, forcing you to stay in this moment with him, to be aware of every sensation and remember who it was who was making you feel that way.

This wasn't just some quick shag or one night stand, this was a friend making love to another friend. Just like Santiago before him, Will didn't know if this would ever happen again between you and he wanted to make sure he savoured every second. Wanted you to know the love he had for you. He wanted to make you feel good. He wanted you to remember this moment and how he made you feel in it.

Your hips began to squirm as your orgasm steadily built in your core, desperate for something more, desperate for that release. “Will please?” you breathlessly begged against his lips. Will grunted at hearing you begging for him to make you cum, but he didn't want to rush this. He felt your back arch as you tried to change the angle slightly, drive him deeper, reach that release. He snaked his arm around your back, pulling you tighter to his body, lifting you from the bed. Your hold around his neck became tighter and you buried your head into his shoulder as he lifted you up, his cock still deeply inside you.

He turned you both around and he sat on the bed, pulling you down even further onto his cock. The new position really allowed you to grind down into him but forced you to maintain the slower pace Will wanted to keep. “Oh my god.” you groaned into his neck, your head still firmly buried into the crook of his neck. He kept both his arms firmly around your back, forcing your body to remain tightly to him, guiding you as you moved up and down on his cock. The feeling that had built inside you was fit to burst and when he lifted his hips and thrust up into you, you lost out. Your orgasm was shattering and you buried your head even deeper into his neck, your eyes firmly screwed up, tears threatening to spill out of the corner creases from how sensitive you felt.

Will continued to slowly thrust up into you, his arm wrapped around you tightly making you maintain the slow steady rhythm you had created together. Your clit dragged across his skin from how close your bodies were and it did nothing but increase the orgasm taking over you. You're moans of pleasure came out stuttering between breaths as you felt yourself clamped tightly around his cock. You were so earth shatteringly aware of everything.

You forced yourself up straight, wanting to look directly into Will's eyes, allowing him to see the devastation and bliss he was causing you. His lips attached hungrily to yours at the sight. He felt your overstimulated body stutter and freeze, desperate for a break but he wasn't done with you yet. As you tried to take a moment to let your orgasm pass and compose yourself once more ready to do it again, Will lay himself back down upon the bed. With you're arms still wrapped tightly around his neck you happily let your body relax with him, resting against him, your head finding a home in the crook of his neck once more, taking in deep breaths.

He had allowed you maybe two seconds to appreciate and acknowledge your come down before his arms tightened around you, holding you in place against his chest as he brought his legs up onto the bed. He dug his heels into the mattress and began thrusting up into you at a rapid speed. Your fingers clawed at his skin as you felt another orgasm rapidly building inside you once more. You cried out as the sensation took over you once more, your body practically going limp. You attempted to use his shoulders as leverage to prop yourself up, hoping a change in angle would lessen the sensitivity in your fluttering cunt. Will reached up to take your face in his hands. You're arms went weak and gave out slightly and you were grateful that Will did have a hold of your head, to keep it up right.

He maintained each devastating thrust and watching as your eyes became unfocussed, completely cock dumb for him. It was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen. “Ah fuck.” he grunted as his thrust became sloppy, his own release so fucking close with how you were looking at him like that. You whispered his name and he lost it completely, his thrusts stuttering as he quickly pulled out, his own release over taking him as he closed his eyes, pushing his head back into the mattress.

He gently released your head from his hold and you relaxed it against his shoulder, your back arched inward, your breathes heavy and laboured as you worked through your come down. Will let out a deep breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding and turned his head to try and get a better look at you. Almost like you sensed what he was trying to do, you lifted your head to meet his eyes. A goofy grin broke out across his face.

You attempted to climb off his lap but your legs were spent and wobbled like a new born deer. He laughed at you as you collapsed onto the bed beside him. “That was,” your voice said heavily beside him, you laughed a giddy feeling from your orgasm washing over you. He propped himself up to look at your face but you just turned it away from him, burying it into the bed, bashful. He laughed at you again before mustering as much energy as he could to stand and go find something to clean you both up with.

When he came back into the room, damp cloth in hand, he watched you intensely, a smile plastered across your face, as you still struggled to make eye contact with him. Your still overstimulated core was making you rub your legs together in an attempt to channel the energy there. He let out a chuckle, he had never had this reaction from being with a girl before and the fact it was you made him feel even more special.

You finally met his eyes and smiled back at him. He felt like you were reading his mind and he too now felt bashful. He tossed the cloth he'd been fiddling with between his fingers at you in an attempt to stop the silent conversation that was going on between you. You caught the rag between your fingers, your body rolling slightly and relaxing as you took him in, your gaze softening.

Neither of you needed to say anything. You both knew what this was. It was a comfortable curiosity. You were his best friend and he was yours. There was no doubt of the platonic love you had for one another and now you just had a greater appreciation for each other.

You cleaned yourself up as Will pulled his boxers back on, before climbing back onto the bed with you. You tossed the cloth across the room, aiming for your hamper but it missed landing on the floor as Will wrapped an arm around you. You cuddled into him, your head resting against his shoulder, his fingers drawing lazy circles across your skin. “I love you.” you said softly but confidently.

“I know.” he said back, leaning down to place a kiss on the top of your head, a content smile fixed permanently to his face.

                                      -------------------------------------------

Hope I didn’t forget to tag anyone and as always if you want to be added to the tag list just pop it in writing and I’ll add you for next time. As always if your tag doesn’t work properly I’m sorry.

@icanbeyourjedi @theshiningharmony @darnitdraco @kesskirata @wyn-dixie @rosiefridayrogersunday @actual-spawn-of-satan @clydesducktape @asta-lily @honey-hi @heythere-mel @heidi-toevs @wigofokoye @choricenter @goodgriefitsawildworld @lostgirlheather @d0uwannkn0w @justdrawings101 @nicotinebirds @bisexualolympus @babyratt19 @cookiecat22 @peterhollandkait @a-bang-for-your-bucky @asta-lily @codenamewife @lazyunknownwerewolf @emmy626 @natura1phenomenon @fanfics-that-hit-my-feels @fangirl-316 @thisisthewaytofiction @rosiefridayrogersunday-reads @aficwhore @slayerx147 @alberta-sunrise​ @itspdameronthings @nano-pax​

#triple frontier #triple frontier x reader #will miller #william ironhead miller #will miller x reader #reader insert #frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales x reader #santiago pope garcia #santiago garcia #santiago garcia x reader #benny miller #what benny doesn’t know

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

no

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

#tony stark x child!reader #tony stark x son!reader #tony stark x daughter!reader #tony stark imagine #tony stark #iron man #iron man x reader #iron man imagine #dad!tony #stark!son #stark!reader #stark!daughter #stepdad!tony #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #avengers #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #pepper potts #pepper potts x reader #pepper potts imagine #potts!reader

[roninhunt0987]

The Birth of Lil Geni The Fox

The Birth of Lil Geni The Fox

By: Roninhunt0987

X3 finally after posting a bunch of pics and etc I now have the time to do the fic of Lil Geni's birth... =3 this is her here btw if ya forgot: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/42450002/

anyway the last one I did with the 7 kiddos of Gen'ichi and Ninjara there was a 6 year time skip... O.o for this one will be a 3 year time skip meaning on that the 7 kiddos will be 9 while Lil Geni will be around 3 years old... O.o so yea... anyways sit back and enjoy the hilarity

Characters(C)belongs to their rightful owners

-Kato/Prower residence-

Ninjara: -in the bathroom doing a pregnancy test as she just woke up while the others are in the living room watching cartoons-

Gen'ichi: -relaxing with Suzuki-

Suzuki: -watching cartoons-

Ran, Rei, Reiko, Rika, Miwa, Nori and Gen'ichi Jr: -watching tom and jerry-

tv: -shows tom getting hurt as the iconic Tom screaming sfx is heard in the background-

Ran, Rei, Reiko, Rika, Miwa, Nori and Gen'ichi Jr: -laughs-

Suzuki: XD hehehe

Gen'ichi: XD heh

Raph: -in the kitchen making homemade pizza- hmmm

Mikey: -reading comics which are the IDW sonic comics which is issue 24 and winces because of reading the bit where whisper is crying- ohhh geeze

Whisper: -looks over Mikey's shoulder and winces a lil because of that pain of a memory she had to go through-

Tangle: -same- Mikey: -looks to them- O.o whats wrong??

Whisper: -breathes in and then out- this... well uhm

Tangle: believe it or not mikey this actually happened.... like years ago before sonic and co moved to Station square city to help with Dad and the others...

Mikey: oh geeze i'm sorry I never knew that

Whisper: mmhmm... about a year ago Tangle and I got adopted on the spot when we saw the comic issue for the very first time....

Jared: -walks on over- thankfully around issue 29 or so things got back to normal... or well least the start of it... sonic went missing and landed somewhere at the Sol islands... he later returned to the main land when blaze used her abilities to send sonic back to help... plus the fact I was told Omega was uhm... .w. busted up as he was only a head at the time

Mikey: you mean like Lopez from red vs blue

Jared: O_o wait what??

Mikey: ya not kidding -gets out issue 25 and shows the page where cream and whisper were having a chat while omega was yammering on and such-

Jared: -looks at it- O_O oh crap I did not notice that

Omega: -looks over and looks at it and facepalms because the fact he did behave like lopez when he was only a head which was detached from his body at the time-

Jared: -looks to him- O_o ya did notice and realized that did ya Omega: affirmative I was indeed behaving like that SP Vector: .w. well least ya didn't speak spanish like Lopez Omega: Derogatory insult: SHUT THE F**K UP YA STUPID CROCK OF S**T!!!

Jared: O_o;;;;;; uhhh... rouge

Rouge: -from the kitchen- Ya?? Jared: O_o since when Omega can swear

Rouge: -from the kitchen- uhhh I dunno couple weeks ago when he was looking at random youtube videos of the swear words and such as well as other stuff

Jared: O_o got it just checking -walks off- geeze louise now Omega can swear like a sailor now gawd

Mikey: O_o oooookay

Donnie: -walks in- O_o hey what happened I could of sworn I heard E-123 omega started swearing

Leo: -walks in from the kitchen- thats because he did cuz SP Vector said something stupid insulting to Omega

Donnie: O_o owch

Ninjara: -comes out of the restroom with the pregnancy test being positive and is behind Gen'ichi and shows him that she is pregnant again- ^///^ Gen'ichi: -notices- ^^ hehehe

Suzuki: hu??

Ninjara: X3 kids just so ya know ya mama is pregnant ya may expect a lil sibling to look after which makes ya as big siblings now

Ran, Rei, Reiko, Rika, Miwa, Nori and Gen'ichi Jr: X3 YAY!!! Suzuki: XP and another kiddo for me to spoil

Gen'ichi: ^^ yup

SP Vector: O_o oh no

-first 3 months-

Ninjara: -has music playing and has the earphones on her tummy so her child can hear it-

SP Vector: -about to say something stupid until he gets a Kunai to his head- oh s**t -drops dead- X_x

Ninjara: -relaxing-

-second 3 months-

Ninjara: -eating chicken Terraki with Peanut butter on it-

SP Vector: how are ya eating all that

Ninjara: -glares- rrrrrrrr

SP Vector: O_o geeze screw you too lady

Suzuki: -doing that same Alastor moment as she is smirking like him and has a chainsaw as she revs it-

SP Vector: oh s-

Censored screen: -CENSORED: DEAR GOD NOT AGAIN!!-

SP Vector: -screaming from behind the censored screaming in bloody murder as he is getting sawed up with a chainsaw- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

-final 3 months: the birth-

-Megaville City Hospital-

Ninjara: -squeezing Gen'ichi's hand-

Gen'ichi: .w. this is fine -from his mind: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!-

-at the waiting room-

everyone: -waiting and etc-

nurse: -wheeling Ninjara in with a lil girl 3-tailed fox girl-

Gen'ichi: -smiles-

Ninjara: -smiles-

Ran, Rei, Reiko, Rika, Miwa, Nori and Gen'ichi Jr: -gathers round looking to their lil sister for the first time- ohhhhh

Suzuki: X3 hehe

Nori: X3 whats her name mommy

Ninjara: X3 this is Geni

Donnie: O.O oh wow an albino... O.o pure white 3-tailed fox girl

Lil Geni: -opens her eyes for the first time to see she has red and blue eyes and the look of saying hu- ?

Suzuki: -smiles as she holds her for the first time- ^^ hehe hey there i'm ya aunt Suzuki

Lil Geni: mew -nuzzles-

Gen'ichi: X3 awwww

Lil Geni: -looks to Gen'ichi- X3 mew mew mew mew

Gen'ichi: -chuckles and gets her from Suzuki carefully- ^^ hehe

Lil Geni: -nuzzles on her daddy for the first time- mew

Raph: -chuckles- hehe

Lil Geni: -random sticks her tongue out at Raph- Blep

Raph: O_o uhhhhhhh

Mikey: -busts out laughing at Raph- XD hehehehehehe

Raph: >< WHY YOU- COME HERE!!! -chases Mikey- Mikey: OH GEEZE RUNNING TIME!!! -runs-

Raph: MIKEY!!! -chases him-

Frenchie: 3 years l-

Karl The Fox-bat: NOPE!!! -kicks Frenchie out of the way and clears throat-

Frenchie: -offscreen groaning in pain-

Karl The Fox Bat: :3 3 years later

Ran, Rei, Reiko, Rika, Miwa, Nori and Gen'ichi Jr: -all 7 of them are now 9 years old as its fathers day which also happens to be Lil Geni's third birthday-

Lil Geni: X3 hehe -eating her cake with her dad-

Suzuki: -smiles as she has something for Geni-

Lil Geni: -notices the old plush- O.o whats that Aunt Suzuki

Suzuki: ^^ well... this was an old plush I have when I was about your age... =3 her name is Scrub... X3 I am passing her to ya now kiddo its all yours take care of her always... X3 come to me if ya want me to maintain her oki

Lil Geni: X3 oki thank you -hugs Scrub the plush- ^^

Raph: -about ready to give her b-day punches which he is gonna do carefully and then gets a cake splatter on his face from SP Vector- ._.;;;;

SP Vector: -laughs like Nelson- HA HA!!! Raph: -glares as he gets the cake off his face- YOU ARE SO DEAD CROCFACE!!! COME HERE!!!

SP Vector: OH CRAP AHHHHHH!!!!!

Karl The Fox-bat: :3 2 hours of asswhooping later

SP Vector: -in a full body cast- oooooggghhh

Leo: .w. never splat cake in raph's face

SP Vector: -muffles- oh bite me

Leo: ._. -does a karate chop on SP Vector- WHAP!!!

SP Vector: -his body cast breaks in two and has the look of utter pain on his face and insert Mamaf**ker SFX: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edry0kuy8bo– MAMAF**KER!! Stupid Mario: -offscreen and yells it also: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edry0kuy8bo - MAMAF**KER THATS MY A LINE B***H!!! SP Vector: >< WHATEVER!!!

Scene: -does a small fart noise of blacking out-

TFS Nappa: .w. the end

-XD END XD-

-RH0987 PRODUCTIONS 2021-

@otakuneko-lotus

[alrightbookreviews]

Shadow and Bone

by Leigh Bardugo

book: 7/10

show: 9/10

Alright so i’m assuming most of y’all have heard of this book after the Netflix series came out like a week ago and are like “damn i shoulda read the book” or maybe not. but if not then idk why ur even on my blog but whatever. i read this book like a month or two ago before i even knew about the show so it was a strange coincidence for me but i was excited for the show bc the book was pretty decent. so i sat down to watch the show w pretty low expectations bc the movies are never better than the books (duh) but i ended up liking the show WAY more than the book and here’s why.

So basically, the plot of the book is this chick named alina who draws maps i guess has this friend named mal (who she grew up at an orphanage with) and she has been high key in love w him basically her whole life and he is so fucking clueless so he doesn’t pick up on it at all. but they get sent on a boat across this big black cloud thing called the “shadow fold” w spooky monsters in it. so you’re probably thinking “oh okay since they took a boat, the shadow fold must be over water” wrong. it’s over some crusty ass sand and instead of getting something with wheels they drag this big ass boat across dry land which makes 0 sense to me but okay. also i should probably mention that there are people w like magic powers or some shit but i’ll get to that later. anyways, so alina and her bestie end up on this boat goin across the big spooky cloud with some other rando people. another design flaw of the boat that really bothers me is the fact that there are EVIL FLYING MOSTERS up in this dark ass cloud and instead of like putting everyone below deck or whatever, they jus have everyone vibing out in the open for the monsters to snatch. so of course, the monsters start snatching bitches. and mal gets snatched and alina is like omg no and then she passes the fuck out. very wild stuff. so they make it out of the shadow fold somehow and alina wakes up and these guard dudes are draggin her to the fancy magic people tent. i think now is a good time to explain the magic people so ima do that. so basically there are all these people with magic powers called “grisha” which is kinda confusing bc it sounds a lot like geisha but whatever. there’s like a bunch of different powers and they all have wacky names that i can never remember so i just call them the wind people, the water people, the fire people, the heart people, the healing people, and the builder people. the names are pretty self explanatory. but then there’s this one guy called “the darkling” which is the dumbest name to ever exist omfg i laughed over it for a WHILE. so y’all can probably guess what his power is based off of his stupid name. he makes the shadows move oooo spooky. and he can also use the shadows to chop people in half. i guess. so back to the story, they drag alina to the darklings tent and he’s like “bitch u got powers” and she’s like “nah fam” and he’s like “yeah watch” and he cuts her w a knife and she lights up. like she turns into a human lightbulb. and she’s like “damn okay so like that’s what happened on the boat when i passed the fuck out” so they take her to the palace bc i guess she’s the first person to ever have that power and it’s important bc it can get rid of the shadow fold or whateva. and basically the rest of the book is her trying to figure out her powers and the darkling trying to find this deer whose antlers will amplify her power and alina complaining about living in a castle blah blah blah.

so here’s why the show is better than the book:

her friend/guy she’s in love with is so fucking toxic in the book. he’s such a bitch to her and she’s just like lol okay ily and i’m like wtf? why do u like this piece of shit? he’s just rude man. and in the show i actually liked him. he tried his hardest to get to the palace and find her after they took her away unlike in the book when he didn’t do shit and when she finally saw him again he was mad at her for some reason idk i was like bro u gotta chill. so i’m glad he was chill in the show.

the darkling’s name in the show is “general kirigan” which is also pretty lame but SO much better than the darkling. no debate.

leigh bardugo has 7 books total taking place in this little universe (the shadow and bone trilogy, six of crows duology, and the king of scars duology) and they threw some of the characters from six of crows into the show for some reason. i was a little skeptical of how that was gonna go before the show came out bc shadow and bone and six of crows take place at different times and also i haven’t read six of crows yet but omg. i loved them. it’s this little squad of this ninja bitch, some guy w a cane who is hot af and (my favorite) this gay dude who mostly just talks about a goat. they were baddies and i was so happy they made a lil plot for them and put them in the show.

and those are really the only reasons. idk. i’d recommend both the book and the show but definitely the show a lil bit more.

now it’s time to talk some shit about everyone. (SPOILERS!!)

jesper: okay something important i need to say that my mom mentioned as we were watching the show: wouldn’t it have stank like shit when jesper fucked that one guy in the stables??? like dude no. literally do it ANYWHERE but there pls and thank u.

kaz: jesus fuck make a move you goddamn pussy holy shit

inej: okay first of all the actress who played her was GORGEOUS and she’s such a badass. kaz and jesper can’t do SHIT compared to her.

alina: she lowkey annoyed me a lil bit in the show. she ended up being the one who was a dick to mal instead of the other way around and it kinda made me sad but whatever. also the antlers in her skin omfg i gagged every time i saw it it was fucking disgusting.

mal: dear book mal, go fuck yourself. dear netflix mal, ily boo <3

the darkling/general kirigan: they chose an old ass dude to play him in the show. like in the book even though he’s like hundreds of years old, he’s only supposed to look like 20 and the homeboy who played him in the show is 39. mmm no. poor little 25 year old jessie who had to make out with this grandpa motherfucker.

genya: wtf was that tall ass collar she was wearing?? made the bitch look like she had no neck.

david: 🧍‍♂️. also you traitor motherfucker.

baghra: we needed more of her. i love that crusty bitch. kinda upset that she attacked mal in the show but whatever he was fine i guess? idk i liked her a lot more in the book lol.

nina: idk who tf this bitch was bc she aint in the book. her lil plot was boring tbh.

milo: queen milo i live for you.

and that’s it. thank u for reading.

#book #book review #books #review #shadow and bone #shadow & bone #netflix #leigh bardugo #the grisha series #the grishaverse #grishaverse #alina starkov #mal oretsev #six of crows

[asterekmess]

Scott McCall is the poster boy for entitlement, misogyny and toxic masculinity. Remember when he demanded that Allison goes out with her stalker (Matt) and then yelled at her in the middle of a crowded club because she had the audacity to trust her own father to save Jackson instead of obeying him? Or when Scott pinned Allison against her bedroom’s door and humiliated her just to prove how ‘weak’ and ‘fragile’ she was and because “If I’m scared shitless, then you should be scared shitless too”?

I told my friend Mads a long time ago that with every new fic I put out, my urge to become, if not popular, then just understood as an anti-scott blog got stronger. I mean, it’s not like I want my blog to just be about hating Scoot, but I didn’t really want people to come in and follow me thinking I was a Scott fan, because it would be disingenuous.

I think I got my wish? Either one person has a lot of feelings (which I’m all for) or a bunch of v angry anti-scott people have swarmed over me like hummingbirds on sugar water. It’s a really interesting experience!

Anyway, back to your ask. So, I don’t like Scott, and admittedly sometimes I’m a little extra bitter/hateful than others, but I do try to be accurate in my dislikes of him (usually), so I’ll go through what you said one at a time and try to decipher (from my v faulty memory, so apologies if there are mistakes) if I agree with each statement.

Since some people have requested the Read More thing so they can scroll easier.

Scott is: Entitled. Off the cuff, I would agree. I’ve mentioned before how frustrating it was to see the show attempt to portray him as a poor kid, when he’s nowhere near that. I’ve also seen posts before that explore how Scott doesn’t carry a ‘poor kid’ mentality at all (they probably did it better than me, and it was probably Athenadark who did the analyzing). Growing up, I didn’t consciously know I was poor. Not as in ‘i had everything I needed’ but as in “i assumed all kids grew up occasionally eating a single can of pears for dinner or had to return groceries from the car because their parent’s card was declined and they were out of food stamps or wore a pair of tennis shoes until they were literally taped together with packing tape because we couldn’t afford new ones.” I grew up in a poor town, on the poor side of that town, so there wasn’t a lot that showed me it was possible to live differently. Being poor gives you a specific mentality, and when I finally met kids who were ‘middle class’ I was blown away by the differences. I say all this because Scott is very clearly a middle class kid.

Yes, he has an after school job. Who tf didn’t? That doesn’t automatically make you poor? Even my rich friend got a summer job because she wanted to buy band merch and her parents wouldn’t let her. But have you seen his room? It’s a wreck. We get the scene of him digging under his bed trying to find his phone, and I honestly was kinda disgusted. (I also grew up in a hellhole hoarder house, so clutter fucks me up) It’s not just the messiness though. It’s finding out that his mom is the one doing the laundry. Melissa “One shift won’t break us completely” McCall still cleans her son’s room and does his laundry and sews his clothes even though she’s supposed to be working herself to death at the hospital. Oh, and he’s sixteen years old, so he should be able to do his own fucking laundry? it’s one thing if his stuff ends up there while she’s doing laundry, but apparently she goes out of her way to do his clothes regularly enough that she has no qualms about going in his room to clean? Scott works at a VET’s office and has for long enough that he can put a cast on a dog and feels confident giving it painkillers in the right dosage. And he can’t sew a line of stitches in his clothes? He’s got an ensuite bathroom. His room is clearly the master bedroom. He doesn’t make his mom dinner to bring her, he picks up chinese. And there’s the house itself and its size, etc. Of the two of them, i would’ve expected Stiles to have the messy room. He’s adhd, I know how hard it is to keep a room clean with that kind of headspace. But no, his is really clean most of the time, even his desk, unless he’s researching something specific. I mention Stiles because it’s the comparison of the two that makes Scott’s own messiness stand out. Hell, literally no other bedroom we’re shown is messy in the slightest. Allison’s, Lydia’s, Jackson’s, none of them. (I don’t remember Liam’s room, if we saw it) He feels entitled enough to take up extra space and add extra work to his mother’s stress level (which, listen, I’m not saying being not-poor makes you entitled. I’m saying that the show makes the claim Scott IS poor and he Still does these things. THAT is the entitled part.)

Then there’s his relationship with Stiles. “Yeah, but I had you before.” When talking about the good and bad things in his life, he doesn’t even think to mention Stiles as one of the good things. He says he has nothing, just like before. Stiles isn’t even on his radar, even though they’re looking right at each other. Yet we know that Stiles is basically Scott’s only friend. As someone else with very few friends, I can’t imagine saying to my best friend’s face that I have nothing and no one. Let alone if that friend had been keeping me from dying and teaching me how to be a fucking werewolf for months on end. When do we see him worry about Stiles being human and stuck in the middle of all this? Especially in earlier seasons, we never see him say anything like “maybe you should hang back cus’ you’ll get hurt.” Like, we know that Stiles would do it anyway. And we’d get pissed if Scott told Stiles he wasn’t allowed to help because he was human, but that’s because Scott doesn’t get to tell Stiles what to do. We know Stiles finds ways to protect himself when he has to, but Scott never even asks. He never hints at “I’m worried about you and please know I wont’ be mad if you stay away from the fight.” Even Derek shoves Stiles behind him when the kanima shows up. There’s the thing where he warns them ‘if something goes wrong call for me.” But he explicity says that worry is for Allison, even though she has some method of self-defense. Stiles has nothing. Scott never cares enough to think “Maybe we shouldn’t bring him to the rave where there’s gonna be a vicious killing machine that has already tried to attack him once.” One word from Peter “vulnerable” and Scott stalks Allison (and forces Stiles to help him) for a week. But Stiles gets trapped in a pool for hours, scared out of his mind, and Scott never so much as seems to get clingy? He just assumes Stiles will be fine. He feels entitled to Stiles’ help and assistance, without putting any thought into Stiles’ safety. He asks “is it illegal?” not “Will you get in trouble?” He looks at Stiles when he says “I can’t protect anyone” But when was he trying to protect STILES?  Then there’s the part where while he’s ‘under the influence of the wolfsbane whistle’ (A plot point I fucking hate) he drags Stiles down with him and includes him in being nothing. Being no one. He assumes that if he was nothing before the bite, then Stiles must’ve been nothing also. And since Stiles didn’t get bitten, it also implies that Stiles is still nothing. He’s just hanging on Scott’s wolfy coattails. That’s an incredibly entitled viewpoint to have.

Admittedly, we do see some more humble moments with Allison, especially at the beginning of their relationship, where he says “I just wanna make sure I get my second chance” he’s not assuming he’ll get it. Go scott! (I’m not the hugest fan of him asking her out after he’s clearly just done her a massive favor and is keeping her from getting in trouble for hitting a dog, and she’s wearing his SHIRT and she can’t really say no without looking absolutely horrible, but she seemed pretty into him, so I’ll let it go) But once they’re together? I know that most best friends share secrets and private stuff with each other...but Scott tells Stiles so much about his sex life with Allison that Stiles is actually pissed off and kind of disgusted by it. Stiles. Who is supposed to be sex obsessed. Even he thinks that it’s just way too much information. I can’t imagine Allison would be comfortable with Stiles knowing that much about her in bed. (But at the same time, we see Scott tell Stiles that he never wants any more info on Stiles in bed than Stiles’ vague innuendo abt wet dreams, and then he still feels entitled to tell Stiles whatever he wants about him and Allison and won’t listen when Stiles asks him to stop.) When he asks Allison to go out with someone else, there’s so much that makes me both sad and angry. She is confused and scared, and has clearly committed really hard to Scott (enough to go against everything her family wants) and he tells her to go on a date with someone else. Not just that, but to kiss someone else. To kiss Matt, specifically, whom he knows Stiles thinks is really fucking creepy (though, we need to acknowledge that no one knew Matt was stalking Allison.) And she tries to show him that he’s asking for something really fucking weird and uncomfortable. “Kiss him? You mean, like really kiss him?” And even then, he doesn’t think anything is weird about telling his girlfriend (and they are clearly v monogamous. We see how insanely possessive he is of her, losing his shit when she’s just introduced to other guys Lydia knows, after only one date that he bailed from) to kiss someone else, but not kiss them the way she kisses him. He doesn’t ask for any info about the date, doesn’t ask if Allison’s uncomfortable. He just says “Do it.” and expects her to obey. He feel entitled to controlling who she’s with and what she does, without asking her if she’s okay with it. Because I haven’t seen later seasons in a long time, I usually try to stick to the earlier stuff so I’m less likely to say something stupid, but I do remember him scaring her in her bedroom. There’s a lot about that scene to unpack, but in the case of Allison specifically, we see that he still feels entitled to touch her. They are not friends right now. She has not given any hint that she wants to get back together (except asking to talk to him in ep.1). He should not feel like it is in any way okay to touch her at all, let alone hold her still with super strength. But he does. In his mind. She’s Allison, so why wouldn’t he able to touch her?

He also feels entitled to his leadership. We need to make clear that Scott doesn’t do the leadership stuff. He just happens to be the person in the friend group who’s a werewolf. Stiles and Jackson are the ones who go and set Peter on fire after they can’t get ahold of Scott (WHO IS NOW WITH DEREK, and THEREFORE HAS HIS PHONE). (You’re telling me Scott could’ve done the howl thing at any time to find Derek, and he just left him there for a week?) (Also, yes, I know Stiles was also not involved in helping find Derek until Peter made him. I’m annoyed at him too.) What is leadership-worthy about leaving a tortured man on a grate with electric wires plugged into his side and shackles on his wrists until he agrees to help you kill his own uncle (Oh, also, I have Peter feelings and have salty thoughts about the plot of s1, if anyone’s interested)? But let’s say Scott’s leadership comes in Season 2, not at the end of S1. But when exactly does he earn it? When he tells a teenage girl he doesn’t care about the humiliation and pain that led her to taking a bite that would cure her lifelong illness and give her a friend group that she didn’t have to be afraid of or bullied by? When he called a boy who looked him in the eyes and begged for him to keep his wolf secret “Bloodthirsty”? When he dismissed Boyd’s want for the bite, which was a way for him to make friends and feel like he belonged somewhere, as ridiculous? When he damaged Boyd’s workplace in a way that would almost certainly get Boyd in trouble? (You think smashing a massive crater into the middle of the ice rink with his fist didn’t get Boyd yelled at or maybe even fired?) When Boyd asked to talk to him on the field, and Scott attacked without rhyme or reason? When he let Erica sit and seize while he fussed over Allison? “This doesn’t Feel right” really Scott? You know, I think Erica, who’s having a fucking seizure in the next aisle, would agree! Hurry the fuck up! Oh my god, I went so off track. I have more thoughts on all that though, if anyone’s curious. Anyway. Scott doesn’t do anything that actually entails being a leader. His one job in the rave, he passes off to Isaac so that he can go call Gerard, because he’s currently working with the villain behind everyone’s back. The whole thing with Allison telling her parents and the plan with Derek getting messed up? Yeah, that was Scott’s fault for not telling her. Hell, for not telling GERARD. He, what he expected her to read his mind? Scott knew Allison was telling her parents about Jackson! She said she would tell them after he broke out of the van! The entire fuckup is his fault. But he still shouts at her and blames her and says she should’ve ‘trusted’ him. He passes all the guilt onto her and leaves her there on the verge of tears. He’s entitled to her obedience and he’s entitled to shaming her and scolding her like a child when she doesn’t do what he wants.

So, yeah, I think Scott’s entitled.

Scott is: Misogynistic. This one...I’m not so sure? Scott has a lot of bad qualities, a lot of behavior that’s incredibly toxic and manipulative, but I can honestly say that I can’t think of a single time when his reasoning for not letting/not thinking someone is capable of doing something is because they’re female?

There’s a lot to be said about the manipulative way that he speaks to and interacts with his girlfriends, but that doesn’t stem from misogyny, from what I can see. It stems from everything else. From his self-obsession, from his moral code, from his honest belief that he deserves obedience and complete candor from those closest to him. He does this to everyone, not just the women. It’s just easier to see it with the women because we’re primed to look for it. (I’m making the assumption here that you are female/feminine presenting, anon, since I know that the vast majority of the fandom is, but if I’m wrong, my apologies) Wow, though I’d have more to say on this bit, but I don’t.

Scott is: Toxicly Masculine. I’m not sure where I lay on this idea. Teen Wolf does have a lot of general instances of toxic masculinity, and Scott does exhibit some of them, but again, part of those behaviors can be found in women as well.

I know that it regularly pissed me off how often they reduced men to sex machines. *Scott and Allison are making out on Allison’s bed* Scott: “I don’t wanna make you do anything you don’t wanna do.” Allison: “I’m not doing anything I don’t wanna do. Are you?” Scott (incredulous): “Are you seriously asking me that question?”

*Stiles and Heather are talking about having sex at the party* Heather: “I mean, would you be okay with that?” Stiles (gently mocking): “Would I be okay with that? Yes, yes, I believe so.” They go out of their way to completely negate the possibility that a guy wouldn’t be into sex, even making the concept of asking for a man’s consent sound silly. This becomes even more toxic when Stiles complains about Malia leaving marks on him, hurting him during sex, and he gets teased for it. No one considers it a problem that Malia is scratching him. He’s expected to be appreciative of it/like it.

There’s the possessiveness, yes. Scott does some really fucked up, possessive things. Like freaking on Allison when Lydia introduces her to other guys, or getting angry from the sidelines just because Jackson is talking to Allison, not even flirting with her. Or running off to attack Jackson AND Allison (because there’s no proof he was only going after Jackson, and he’s only ever been able to follow allison’s scent across town, so he couldn’t have specifically been looking for Jackson) after she broke up with him. Throwing Isaac into a wall for liking Allison, even though they’ve been broken up for FOUR MONTHS. I can’t think of any more at the moment. But it’s a lot. BUT. We also see possessive behavior from Malia (yeah, she was an actual coyote for years, but she’s still a woman.) and similar amounts of aggression throughout the seasons from most of the shifters, implying that the habit is born from the werewolf/shifter thing, and not specifically Scott being toxicly masculine. (It’s still not good, but it’s not technically toxic masculinity.)

Aggression I think we can all agree is a shifter-wide phenomenon.

So, yeah, there’s instances that come across this way, and there’s also evidence that some of it is werewolf related, not scott related. I’m torn.

Anyway, again, I’ve talked way too much. If there are moments from later in the show that I’m missing that specifically prove/disprove these points, I’d love to know about it and check it out! I feel you Anon, Scott is infuriating and you’re in good company. <3

#personal #go for it #anti-scott mccall #Meta Ramblings #rant #thank you for the ask! #Anonymous

[selfcareparker]

hi bae <3 reading that last ask i’m realizing i have no grammar? lmao

glad university is funnnn, when you said linguistics i was like 🤨 but then i googled it and it does sound interesting lmao

the too much free time part though... :( its like you expected to be thrown in and like WOO BUSY and WOO purpose (purpose may be going too far lol) but i totally get what you’re saying. ESPECIALLY when you expect to be busier and you’re not it’s like :/ ok. (& girlllll it’s fine to complain, it’s how ur feeling)

and bc of covid you have eVEN LESS STUFF TO DO, which sucks. the social part may help? even just a little bit, but maybe having some socialization.. it could be somewhat uplifting? idk gsjshsj

where i live the vaccine is for 16 and up right now but for the younger kids (12-15) it hasn’t been ✨FDA approved✨ yet so my brother is still waiting for his 🤠

okay really quick, how does drivers license work there? here you learn to drive at 16 and you can like actually drive (sometimes even alone in the car) by 17... (also burneks?)

YAYYYY GIRLLL i remember you telling me about how you haven’t seen your family in England in such a long time 🥺🥺🥺 i really hope you get to see them soon!!!! and that covid eases up so you can see them frequently again 🥺🥺🤍

i’m gonna tattoo that to my forehead “not being friends with your parents is unhealthy” EXACTLY!! the people saying that stuff are usually not close to their parents so 👀

i’ve been really busy (unfortunately imo lol) with my dance recital coming up and this singing group (which i don’t like at all) and my final tests bc of school i’m EEK but it’s a good eek i think? maybe? idk lolll, i can’t wait for everything to be over though so i can CHILL. after school however i have a missions trip in north carolina? don’t quote me on that, but yeah 🥰 i’m really excited about it bc i’ll be without my family (like on my own :)) and it’s this whole thing and i’ll get to know people and i’m gonna buy a new bathing suit that makes me look gooooood cuz i’m tryna cop a boyfriend while i’m there HAHAHAH but besides that... more acting and singing camps probably? most likely a summer job.. i don’t have any plans reallyyy set in stone but ya know (ACTUAL i do have a few things planned. but those are things i don’t want to do. so i will be ignoring them <3)

that was a long ass paragraph- but PLEASE UR RESPONSE WAS FINEEE & i love you 💓💓💖💞💘💓💞💕 literally watch me buy a ticket to germany rn

- lovely anon (or catherine? i feel that lovely anon is iconic now tho so. kinda like how i call you aria in my head not your real name lol ALSO I PROMISE IM GONNA RESPOND TO THAT REALLY SOON, it’s just really busy rn) <3

what’s wrong with tumblr i just saw this a minute ago 🥲🥲🥲🥲 they don’t want to see us together ✋🏼 but fuck them 💘

Whaksk wait wdym by you have no grammar? 😭😭hejsjs

Honestly I’m so surprised that I’m enjoying linguistics but i think since i speak english and german i’ve just always been interested in language and esp english since it’s just my second language so i was forced to learn more about the language than just words and grammar, because it’s such a big part of me and also i didn’t always have a british accent so i kind of had to... develop a british accent, and it was natural but also kind of wasn’t??? Anyway why was this one sentence like 17 lines i’m sorry

YES OMG EXACTLY and obviously i’m missing out on the whole uni experience i mean I’m introverted anyway but i don’t mind going to a party every now and then? but i haven’t talked to a single person from my uni (except in class when we had to analyse a poem or something— okay technically some of my friends go to the same uni as me but they’re all studying other stuff)

But yeah I’ll definitely try to meet my friends more often 🥺 but we all have really different schedules rn so it’s really hard to find days where we both/all are free and not too tired and yeahssjsksj but i mean.... i can pay 50% of your ticket to germany? and then we can hang out? 🥰

I think everyone over 18 can get their vaccine from Monday on so I’ll try to call (okay, my mum will call sisjsh) and see if i can get an appointment. but i think everything will be super full because previously only people over... 50?or 60? or people with like illnesses could get it and now everyone over 18 can get it??? Like that’s a lot of people who can suddenly get the vaccine sksjjs but at the same time they’re getting quicker with it (i think today over 1 million people got the vaccine???? Like i know the US probably gets wayyy more people done so idk if that sounds like nothing to you but obviously Germany is much smaller so to me that sounds like a lot???) and also one of my father’s friend’s wife (djdkdj) works at a hospital or something? And she said she’ll ask if I can get it done there so yeah 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Isksmsjjs it took me so long to figure out what burneks was, i googled it (very weird results?) and then i realised i made a typo.... yeah no idea what i was trying to say lol

So in Germany (as far as I’m aware) you can start at 17 and you can’t have your test before you’re 17 years and 6 months old (idk why) and then you’re not allowed to drive alone until you’re 18 and then you still have two years on probation(is that what it’s called?) and you’re not allowed to drink a single sip of alcohol before you’re 21 (and drive) (cause in germany you’re allowed to drink when you’re 14 (if your parents are with you and allow it), then when you’re 16 you can buy beer and wine, and when you’re 18 you can buy everything. But you’re not allowed to drink and drive (even if it’s just 0.01 promille) until you’re 21)

(Okay I just googled and I don’t think you say pro mille/per mille in english sksjsjs but like the percent (or something...) of alcohol you have in your blood (idk biology sorry) (not that you asked about drinking and driving anyway? 😭 but there you go lmaoo)

Also idk if that’s just a UK thing or you also have it in the US? But all of my relatives from England keep asking me how often I’m driving with my parents (for practice)... and in Germany that’s.... not allowed? Like in england you can get these L (Learner) plates that you can stick on the back of your car and then you can drive anytime with your parents, but in germany you can only drive with your driving instructor during a paid for and legally organised driving lesson so. Kksskaj

Yess, the good thing now is that i can go to england anytime? Because Uni is all online anyway so it’s not like i have to wait until the holidays to see my family, i really hope i’ll see them soon🥺 it was my nana’s bday today and my grandad’s a few weeks ago so i’m painting two pictures for them tomorrow and sending them as a (late) gift next week 😌 (i’ll do like an impressionist ✨field of flowers✨ (that sounds awful sksjsjsj for reference i’ll look something like this: (it’s not mine i just found it on the internet while i was looking for some inspiration

for my nana, and something with a waterfall for my grandad) (looking at it now i don’t even think that’s impressionism? Idfk i had art as my subject for my a levels (like one of my final exams) and i actually got an A 👀 but it was mainly architecture and i don’t even remember that so

Ahhh I hope it’s a good eek!! Sksjj hopefully you’ll be done with everything soon and i already know you’re gonna do really good in all of your tests😌 but still: good luck ❤️❤️❤️

Idk if it’s actually cool? But North Carolina sounds so cool to me (but honestly you could have said any state and i’d think it’s cool sksksskm) And girl I still think it’s so amazing that you just sing and dance and act and omg ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

(I’m imagining us in a montage (?) like they always have in films while we’re shopping to get you a hot bathing suit😌😌 and then they always come home with like 6 shopping bags in the movies—)

This is gonna sound so dumb because who tf wants to work? But I’ve always wanted a summer job 🥲 like nothing too exhausting obviously but i’ve never earned any money by myself? I haven’t had a single job in my life (not that I’m that old and like only one of my friends has worked in her life like we’re young sksjsj) and yeah i think it would be really cool to have a summer job and earn some money 😌 but during the summer holidays (they’re only 6 weeks in germany) we’d always go to england for at least two weeks and then we’d drive to bosnia to see my dad’s family for a few days and then to croatia and then to Bosnia again sksksksms so i never had time for a summer job (obviously i’m aware that it’s a fucking privilege that i’ve never had to work and that i get to go to multiple countries during the holidays but yeah)

WHY DO I TALK SO MUCH AUSSKKSSM

Like I said I’ll pay 50% of your ticket 😌 i’ll be here stuck at home anyway, just let me know when you’re coming so i can come pick you up😌 (this emoji djskksks— but i mean it fits so i’ll use it as often as i can 😌)

Lovely anon IS iconic 😌✨ but Catherine is more than okay too🥰 so just say whatever you prefer ❤️

(And omg you never have to apologise for responding to my long ass, full-of-mistakes responses late sksjs take your time (i mean i wouldn’t be mad if you just didn’t respond to some of them i talk too much anyway <3333)

#lovely anon #<3

[trynottolinger]

sometimes I feel like I’m faking this whole “chronic pain” deal. Like I’ll have a good few days and be like “pfff am I even sick?” (usually still with some kind of brace on because the joints in my hands are a lie). And then I spend a few hours doing house chores or I go for a longer walk without strapping up my entire left leg and all of a sudden it’s like “ooooohhh right that pain. that’s the pain that apparently other people don’t feel”

I have a really weird relationship with my illness. On the one hand I have adapted really well to needing mobility aids and having to take various painkillers daily to cope. Especially considering it’s only really been a year since this started to widely affect my daily life. (untrue I have been using a knee brace for around 4 years and have been carrying painkillers with me everywhere for even longer (I just get better ones now))

But Because of the nature of hyper mobility spectrum disorders, I have been suffering the symptoms for far longer than I ever realized. When I was young I was taken to see a specialist because I told my mum my knees hurt so much it kept me awake at night. The doctor said of course, I had hyper mobility and was growing. Perfectly normal. So, seven or so year old me internalized that as “everyone feels this, this is fine”. So I never brought it up again. And what with almost going deaf with various ear infections I never thought much of it. I never thought much of the blinding pain I felt when I jumped from the swings. I figured thats just how ankles feel. I never questioned the pain in my bones. When my feet hurt so much I thought I was going to throw up, I figured no one else was complaining so it must be normal. It never occurred to me that they didn’t feel the same. When I was 15 I mentioned to a doctor my back hurt ALL  the time. She said it was natural. So I figured everyone’s back hurt that much. Besides isn’t that a meme of our generation? (It wasn’t until this year after over ten years I realized the pain was because my hips sublux and shift their alignment) And after that I moved around a lot until I came to settle here. I didn’t see a doctor for about 4 years. And the first time I went to see a doctor about the pain in my bones was only two years ago. I’m lucky that although there have been some terrible doctors in this time like the guy who I went to see in September, when my body was in its worst flare up ever (I had NO IDEA what was happening at the time) and my right hand was fucked. (Looking back on it now I’m pretty fucking sure I had dislocated my wrist and at least two fingers but at the time I didn’t know that was a thing that could happen from washing dishes.) Who didn’t even LOOK at my wrist. Did not ask me a SINGLE question aside from if I could put my hand down flat on his desk (I could not even straighten out my fingers) And declared I had arthritis, prescribed me not a single painkiller and sent me for blood tests. And the lady who I saw post blood tests who told me the good news, not arthritis, but could not understand why that made me break down in floods of tears (because hey lady, if it’s not that then WHY THE FUCK DO I HURT ALL THE TIME?!!?!) And instead of talking to me wrote me a prescription that upset me even more. (I mean who tf thinks its a good idea to give a clearly upset person medication that says ANTIDEPRESSANTS on the label and not think to explain, “oh no I don’t think you’re mental and just need to calm down. This medication is more commonly used as pain relief now.”) I have also been lucky enough to be seen by a very kind EMT at my doctors office and a really lovely GP, who both referred me to a physiotherapist and my GP has me on a waiting list to see a rheumatologist.

Although it feels brand new, I have been fighting this for so much longer than I ever had words for. The only difference is that now I know what tools are available to me to help. And I know I am allowed to use them. I am not ashamed for needing a walking stick sometimes. And sometimes that makes me feel more fake. Because I read all the time about people and their struggle to accept their mobility aids. It’s only taken me 6 months of understanding to give in and adapt to taking mine with me everywhere. So maybe I am faking it. Maybe I don’t need it. Maybe im not as bad as I keep telling people I am.

Even though my life turned upside down last year with my illness. I still get that feeling that this is just how everyone feels. Even though my PT every time, reminds me its not. Even though my friends tell me it’s not. I’m still waiting for someone to point me out. “they’re not disabled!!!” Im still waiting to be called an attention seeker. I’m still not used to being aloud to be in pain. People get sick of hearing about pain. But I HAVE to talk about mine. When I reach my limits I have to say so or face my body’s consequences. I’m still getting used to that.

I guess what I’m saying is, I am getting better at looking after my body. But I struggle to allow myself to identify with this new life. I struggle with the word spoonie, even though it covers how I feel so well. I struggle with the word disabled, even when I am, less able. I know part of it is from not having a diagnosis. I know what I think it is... but for now I am just the same as everyone else. There could well be nothing wrong. They still have time to tell me it was all in my head.  And that fills me with so much fear. so much dread.

#big ol rant/ string of consciousness under the cut #chronic pain #spoonie #idk I was doing house work and then had feelings #hypermobilty syndrome

[hoshalicious]

soulmate!taehyung

soulmate!au in which your eyes are the same eye color as your soulmates hair color. if one dyes it, your eye color changes to the desired color.

this has started when you were like 17 years old, the same age as when taehyung debuted.

you knew absolutely NOTHING about the group.

not a single song.

not a single member.

this happened right after you graduated, and you noticed one day when you woke that your eyes started to become a yellowish color.

you woke up your mother, and as soon as she looked at you in the eyes, she became extremely worried about you.

she didn’t even recognize you at first.

but when she realized that it was you, she scolded at you for wearing contacts.

you told her that you weren’t wearing any, and she leaned closer to you to see if you were lying or not

“y/n! take those contacts off right now!! you don’t look elegant!”

“mom!! i’m not wearing any contacts!!”

your mom wanted to schedule an optometrist asap !! she was freaking out about your eye color change.

well when y’all went there, the optometrist told you that there was really nothing wrong with your eyes.

she asked if you had the same vision as always, if you don’t have any diseases,,,,she told to look at things she told you to stare at,,you were perfectly fine,,,

she was very confused to why your irises changed color, but she did say that if your notice any problems with your eyes, come back to her immediately.

you were lowkey freaking out about the color change of your eyes, but the more you think about it,,you were starting to like it.

as you were taking selfies, it felt weird but you felt,,better,,,about yourself.

you had thought the yellowish color would stay forever.

but your eyes later changed to brown, somewhat like a lighter brown color.

you thought that you were back to normal, and you were kind of sad that you wanted the yellow eyes back.

like your selfie game was wild

but anyways

one day, you decided to go to the movies with a couple of friends.

one of your friends asked you for a refill for her drink, and you had no problem with that.

so, you grabbed the cup, and you proceeded to the concession stand.

you asked for a refill of the drink your friend wanted.

but right after the drink is completely refilled, one of the employees politely asked you:

“hi, i was just wondering,,are you wearing contacts”

???? “no? why?”

“oh! it’s because i really love your eyes! i never met anyone who has orange eyes!”

“WHAT”

you told the employees to watch the drink as you ran to the bathroom as fast as you could.

you started to freak out even more than before when you saw your reflection.

when your friends saw you as soon as y’all were about to exit the building, they were amazed to how your eye color just changes.

“bro, what if it’s a soulmate thing?”

“how tf is it even possible? what do the colors mean?”

your mom was worried sick about you about it,,but you weren’t feeling any pain on your eyes.

you were okay, like nothing wrong was happening to you

you think that this is a normal thing of you for now on, and you were okay with it.

skip to like two years later.

still, nothing bad has happened to your eyes.

the only colors your eyes have changed were a light violet color, brown with green, red, and peach.

at one point, your eye color changed back to normal.

but you were missing the color changes so you decided to use some colored contacts until they change color again.

shortly after, your eyes changed back to yellow.

and it kinda lasted for a while, probably like a few months.

right until it was changed back to a hazel brown.

okok so one of your friends suddenly became very obsessed with a korean boy band.

of course, being bangtan sonyeondan.

or bts.

she came up to you one day talking about how much she loves kim taehyung.

you only recognized him by his deep ass voice.

though, he’s a lead vocalist like wow that’s some talent right there.

it was the spring day and not today era, and the m/vs were just released like a few days ago.

when your friend realized that your eyes changed back to the hazel brown color, she referenced to how your eye color is the same as his hair color.

“oooh y/n, his hair matches your eyes! maybe you guys are soulmates”

she just giggles at you as you deny it

“nahh, impossible. if this v dude had purple hair, red hair, and maybe even the peach colored hair then--”

“he did, all of them--”

“what the FUCK”

you were lurking through all of bts’ videos, watching taehyung and seeing the release dates.

you were out of your mind, though you don’t remember seeing him in red hair.

your friend had to find pictures of him in red hair, and you had to figure out when he posted the photos.

there was no way you could contact him, it seemed very impossible.

before dna was released, your eyes changed colors once again to light gray.

you and your friend were waiting for their teasers to come out and you were getting nervous about this situation.

because what if taehyung’s hair color is gray ?? wtf are you gonna do ??

teasers came out.

and you fucking guessed it.

his hair color is gray.

tear era, your eyes changed back to normal.

idol era was kinda special.

because that was the era where taehyung has pink and yellow hair.

before that teaser came out, your eyes are different colors.

your left eye is pink and the other is yellow, and you were looking at your friend to see what color the boy dyed his hair this time.

and you already know,,,he had pink and yellow hair.

this couldn’t even be a coincidence, this is most likely a soulmate thing that one of your friends told you about a few years ago at the movies when you had orange eyes.

you both knew there was no way you could text him or anything on the internet,,so the only way you could talk to him was to go to a fan sign.

it took a whole while just for you to go there, but one day, you finally get to go and see bts.

you were starting to get nervous the more you got closer to taehyung, but fortunately, the members didn’t catch that.

your palms were getting sweaty as seokjin pointed out your eyes being yellow and pink.

“ah, taehyungie, her contacts match the color of your hair !”

“um, jin,,,they’re not contacts,,these are my actual eye colors. they change whenever taehyung dyes his hair to the color he has.”

“wHaT ??”

when you scooted in front of taehyung, he was surprised to how such thing happens to your eyes. you showed him photos of yourself in different eye colors and the dates of when you took them.

taehyung also went through his phone and told you the dates when he had specific hair colors and all of the colors match to when you took your selfies.

he couldn’t even believe it, you even had to show them yourself to see if you’re not lying.

and yo, the way he widen his eyesss

“,,,are you sure you didn’t wear contacts?”

“i’m too scared to wear them,,,so no.” you proceeded to lean in closer and whisper,

“if you don’t believe me, follow my instagram, soulmate?”

“...of course! i’ll message you for sure!”

abi; november 16th 2019

#kpop #bts #bangtan sonyeondan #bangtan boys #kim taehyung #bts v #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fanfiction #bts army

[deathtotheangels]

For the “Ask Me Things” ask, I order you to do all of them

ASK ME THINGS

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

Good morning!

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

We’re about to go grocery shopping

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

Depends on the drugs.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

No

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

Sober.

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

Of Course.

7. What does your last received text say?

Bog mood.

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

Over a million?

9. Where was your last kiss at?

In bed.

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

I don’t have a sister.

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Coffee.

12. Where did you sleep last night?

In my bed.

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

They can be.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

Yes tf I would.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

Absolutely not.

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Rainy.

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

Yes.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

Sweatpants.

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

I sure fucking hope so lmao

20. Does anyone like you?

Yes.

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

No.

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

Yes.

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

YES.

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Since I have two, yes?

25. In the past week have you cried?

Yes.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

English Bull Terrier.

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Out of the shower.

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Yes.

29. Do you think you’re old?

No.

30. Do you like text messaging?

Yes.

31. What type of day are you having?

An average day?

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

No.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Warm.

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

I guess so.

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

Relationship. Flings suck.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

I’d like to think I’m pretty simple.

37. What song are you listening to?

We looked like lighting by the wonder years.

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Yes.39. Is there a person that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Em knows everything about me. 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

Honestly a dorky drawing of Castiel.41. When did you last receive a text message?

Like, 10 minutes ago.42. What is wrong with you right now?

I’m ungodly tired all of the time.43. How well do you know the last person you texted?

Pretty well.44. Does anyone disgust you?

Ofc.45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

I’m already engaged to someone. 46. Are you in a good mood right now?

Not really. But I’m not in a bad mood?47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

Em.48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Light Blue.49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

Lmao someone told me I didn’t get a job that I interviewed for so yeah.50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Not yet.51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

No.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Oh yeah buddy.53. Do you like rain?

Yes.54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

I don’t care. 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Ofc. All of highschool?56. Do you like to cuddle?

FUCK YEAH I DO.57. Are you shy?

Kind of. 58. Do you get along with girls?

I’d sure hope so.59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

Currently.60. What do you carry with you at all times?

My phone, my wallet, my cigarettes, my lighter. 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

OH FUCK YEAH BUD.62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

I’ve been in a relationship for 6 years.63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

^^^ I’ve been in a relationship for 6 years.

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

Boy howdy I do.65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

Yes. Christmas was cute.

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

23, 22, 21.

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    

Neither.68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?   

Neither. 69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

I have an Ithaca is gorges sticker on my car that a friend of mine got me!70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

Lil Wayne.71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

I’m an iPhone bitch.72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

Like. 5 years ago?73. Do you like diet soda? 

Nah.    74. What color are the walls in your room?    

Horrible beige.75. Are you 16 or older?    

I am 23. 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

No.77. Do you have a job?    

NOT YET DON’T RUB IT IN. 78. What are your initials?    

NES like the video game console!79. Did you ever have braces?    

I was literally just talking about it. Yes. 80. Are you from the south?    

No, but I did live in NC for 18 months.

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

It’s pictures of my animals from christmas.82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

Yes. Occasionally.83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

My dad.84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

No.85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

Rocky Horror?86. Do you smoke?    

Yes.87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

Flip flops.88. Is your phone touch screen?    

Yes.89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

straight.90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?  

Yeeee.  91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? 

A river.   92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

Yo ofc I have.93. …Had sex in a car?    

Yee YEe94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

In a relationship. 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?   

Laying in bed playing a game. 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

A long time.97. Do you like the camera on your phone?  

Kinda.  98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

Lmao yeah. Don’t do it kids. 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

I don't think so??? I’ve come close tho???100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? 

No.    101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?  

No.  102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

None of them?103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

No. I wish lmao.104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

Nope. Never. Thanks. 

Thanks for asking me these awesome questions!

#asks #ask