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rubyreduji · 5 months

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The Christmas Boyfriend — yjh

summary: when you tell your mom the little white lie that you have a boyfriend, you don’t expect it to evolve into bringing your friend with benefits home for christmas. what can go wrong?

tags: fluff, smut (minors dni), fwb, fake dating, college!au warnings: ok the smut is likes less than 2k words of this fic tbh, conversations about birth control, mention of unsafe sex, explicit sex, oral, fingering, praise, cum eating, creampies wc: 12.7k an: guys im not used to writing jeonghan so if his characterization is off im so sorry fdsak anyways writing this made me want to go ice skating :((

“Sweetie! I’m so excited for you to come home for Christmas!” Your mom calls over the phone.

“Yeah Mom, me too,” you say with half sincerity.

“Oh and make sure you bring that cute boyfriend with you too! I want to meet him, you’ve told me almost nothing about him!”

You pause. Boyfriend? Boyfriend.

Oh shit.

“Hey Mom?” It was the end of summer and you were about to go back to university.

“Yes sweetie?” Your mom was bustling around the kitchen getting ready for dinner.

“Do you think that I could go on birth control?” These worlds made your mother stop.

“Birth control? Why do you need to go on birth control? I know your cycle is normal, so who are you having sex with? Oh please don’t tell me you’re sleeping around,” your mom huffed exasperatedly.

“I’m not!” Technically you weren’t sleeping around. You were sleeping with one person, repeatedly. “I have a boyfriend Mom, and we use protection, but it would be nice to have an extra layer of protection.” It was…somewhat the truth. You tried to use protection but every once in a while you…didn’t. You’d taken a lot of Plan B lately.

“A boyfriend! Why didn’t you tell me? Tell me all about him!” The problem is…you didn’t have a boyfriend. You had a Jeonghan who periodically fucked you during the school year. You hadn’t seen him all summer but you knew that as soon as the school year started again you guys would start right back up.

“His name is Jeonghan, he’s studying business. We’ve been dating since the beginning of the year.”

“Oh tell me more! I want to know, please. I have to meet him immediately.”

And that’s how you spent the rest of the day making up half-lies about Jeonghan and convincing your mother to let you on birth control.

You honestly forgot you told your mom that lie, and now it’s coming back to bite you in the butt. You hadn’t brought him up to your mom since and now you either have to tell her you guys broke up or you have to convince Jeonghan to spend part of winter break with your family pretending to be your boyfriend. Knowing your mom, the latter will be easier.

“You told your mom WHAT?” You decide to tell Jeonghan after you guys finish having sex.

“I told her…that we’re dating.”

“Why?”

“You came inside me two minutes ago, you really wanna ask why? She would be so upset if she knew I was in a friends with benefits situation but if I tell her I have a boyfriend that I trust and care for, she’ll let me go on birth control.”

“Why did you have to ask her to go on birth control?” Jeonghan asks as you start to get dressed.

“I’m a college student Jeonghan, birth control isn’t free and if I ask my mom I can put it on her insurance. C’mon can you do this one thing for me? My mom is a great cook and it only has to be for a little bit, only one day really!”

“This really means that much to you?”

“Yes.” You’re practically making puppy dog eyes at him now.

“Well, you know, I just so happen to need somewhere to stay during winter break. So…I guess I’ll be staying with you and putting on the best show for your mom. You’re lucky I think you’re cute.”

You just grin at him.

“Sweetie! You’re home! Honey come here, our daughter is home!” Your mom runs out of the house to greet you, scooping you up into a hug. “Oh, oh, is this him?” She glances over your shoulder excitedly to where Jeonghan is standing behind you by the car.

“Mom, this is Jeonghan…my boyfriend.” You have to force the last bit out.

“Oh he’s so handsome! It’s nice to finally meet you Jeonghan, I’m so happy you’re joining us for the holidays.”

“Thank you for allowing me to stay with you.” Jeonghan accepts your mom’s hug.

“Of course! You’ve been dating my daughter for almost a year now, anything you need we’ll be here.”

“Is that them?” A booming voice comes from the house. You look over to see your dad and brother standing on the porch.

“Honey, come meet Jeonghan! Look how handsome he is!”

You sigh, it’s already going to be a long four weeks.

“I’m…sorry about them,” you tell Jeonghan when you’re finally alone in your room, where your mother insisted Jeonghan stay with you. For someone who disapproves of casual sex, she sure does support ‘healthy love making between couples’. You don’t even want to think about her and your dad.

“I can’t say you didn’t warn me,” Jeonghan chuckles. “They all seem really nice though.”

“They’re…something,” you mutter. “I hope you don’t mind sharing a bed. Once again I’m really sorry about my mom.”

“It’s fine, I’m serious, stop stressing out. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before,” he jokes.

You roll your eyes. “That reminds me. We have to lay down some ground rules.”

“Ground rules?” Jeonghan cocks an eyebrow curiously, and a bit skeptical.

“Yes. I know it sounds silly and cliche, but really, we need to talk about it.”

“I don’t know what the big deal is. We just have to pretend to be a couple, that’s not hard. Hugging, kissing, all that gooey stuff.”

“What if my parents ask about our relationship? Are you sure you’re okay being coupley with me all the time? I-”

“Babe,” Jeonghan starts, “stop worrying. You make it seem like you have zero faith in me. Trust me, I can be the best fake-boyfriend you’ll ever need.” You scrunch your nose up at him calling you ‘babe’ in a non-sexual setting, but you guess you’ll have to get used to it.

“Still…if you even want to back out, just tell me and we can make up some excuse for you having to leave or-”

Jeonghan cuts you off once more, “Stop worrying. It’s the holiday season, let’s have fun! If your parents ask about our relationship just leave it to me.”

You stare at Jeonghan unsure, all too familiar with his antics. You can tell Jeonghan is about to counter your look when all of a sudden your door is flung open.

“Mom said dinner is ready!” Your brother announces.

You admit defeat on having this conversation with Jeonghan, leading him downstairs to where everyone is taking their place around the dinner table. The table feels just slightly cramped with the addition of the chair added for Jeonghan squeezed in next to yours. The top of dinner is quiet besides a few “could you pass the salt” or “this tastes great Mom” thrown in. It isn’t until your dad is going in for seconds when your mom speaks up.

“So, Jeonghan, tell me about yourself. Pumpkin has barely told us anything about you.”

You internally groan at the childhood nickname your family still insists on using for you, and you hope it goes unnoticed by Jeonghan. Unfortunately, not much slips past him.

“Pumpkin?”

“A terrible nickname from when I was little,” you explain, slightly glaring at your mother.

“I think it’s cute.” You so desperately want to smack the smug look off Jeonghan’s face.

“It is cute,” your mom interjects. “It’s based on these adorable photos we took during her first fall. We did a photoshoot and put her in a pumpkin, it was just darling. Remind me later and I’ll pull out the photobooks.” Your mom winks at Jeonghan and you’re starting to realize just how big of a mistake this was. “Now, back to what I was saying. Tell me about yourself, Jeonghan.”

“Well there’s not much to say. I’m a business major, I enjoy sports and spending time with my friends.”

“He’s an amazing singer,” you jut in. You’re not sure why. Maybe it’s because Jeonghan is selling himself short. “He’s a part of the University’s choir. And he models for the fashion students.” You can see Jeonghan blush under your praise.

“Aw, that’s nice. And how did you two meet?”

“We met through a mutual friend, and then ended up having a class together the following semester. First time we met I thought she was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I’m just lucky she gave me the time of day.” Jeonghan makes a show of grabbing your hand in his, clasping them together on the table. Even though you know it’s for show, the display makes your stomach flip a bit.

You do take note that his story is true for the most part. At least the part about you two meeting and then sharing a class. You’re pretty sure the part about you being “the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen” is just fluff to appease your mom. It does the trick though, as your mom coos at Jeonghan’s words.

She continues to ask Jeonghan questions about himself and your relationship, and Jeonghan keeps delivering. He tells her stories about him attempting to flirt with you and you being too oblivious to realize. You roll your eyes the whole time, knowing what he’s actually talking about. The three weeks he spent continuously trying to hit on you before you finally agreed to go on a date with him.

Speaking of the date, Jeonghan also tells that story. In real life what happened with Jeonghan invited you over to watch a movie, you both got a little tipsy, and ended up fucking right on his couch. Neither of you asked for a second date, but did start to booty call each other, so that’s something. The way Jeonghan tells it to your mom is a lot more…wholesome.

“We went out to see a movie, her choice of course.” Lie, Jeonghan forced you to watch The Notebook. “Then afterwards I didn’t want the date to end so we got dessert and went back to my apartment. We spent the whole night talking before she eventually fell asleep on my couch. It was adorable.”

“Oh stop,” you mutter, trying your best to sound playful.

“It’s true. The way your nose twitches when you’re dreaming and the little huffs you let out. How can I find that as anything but the cutest thing ever?” Jeonghan then leans in and presses a quick kiss to your warm cheeks.

You’re aware you do those things in your sleep, it’s something you’ve done ever since you were little, but you weren’t aware that Jeonghan knew about them. Everytime you sleep over at Jeonghan’s, or he spends the night at yours, he always complains in the morning about how you elbowed him in your sleep all night.

“Oh you two are just so cute!” Your mom exclaims. She then turns to you, “How dare you keep him away from us for so long.”

Your brother is obviously doesn't care for the topic of conversation and excuses himself from the table. Your mom realizes that dinner is now officially over and she and your father start to clean up the table.

“Don’t go far, Jeonghan. I need to show you those baby pictures!”

“Noooo.” You tug on Jeonghan’s sleeve, like it might somehow convince him to go back upstairs with you, but of course not. Of course Jeonghan wants to see all of your baby photos.

You know this shouldn’t really bother you this much. Everyone has baby photos. The issue is you were an extremely unphotogenic baby. Your brother has maybe some of the cutest baby photos you’ve ever seen. Not you. You look like a gremlin, to the point your baby photos became a meme between you and your friends in high school.

Your mom makes a pot of coffee for all of you before she’s shuffling into the living room and pulling out the large fifty page photo album of you from newborn to age four. Jeonghan follows suit and you reluctantly take your place next to him on the couch.

The first few pages aren’t bad. They’re all photos of you still in the hospital when you were first being held by your mom and dad, swaddled in a cute little pink blanket that you know your mom has stored somewhere up in the attic.

The first bad photo doesn’t show up until a few pages in, after you were brought home. It’s a photo of you crying, your face all scrunched up in an ugly expression. You think it’s hideous but it’s one of your dad’s favorite baby photos of you. Jeonghan chuckles slightly and you shove him lightly.

Shortly after that the infamous pumpkin photo shows up. It’s you sitting in a pumpkin, a stupid, blank look on your face as you chew on the pumpkin. There’s a little orange beanie on your head that’s just a little too big for your head.

“Aww, look at that little pumpkin,” Jeonghan giggles.

“Shut up,” you grumble, glaring down at the picture.

Unfortunately for you, it only gets worse from there. There’s the photos from when you were two years old and constantly had messy hair and a stupid expression on your face. And then the photos of you at three when all you would do was pout at the camera. Then the photos from when you were four and somehow every photo was taken at just the wrong second.

Your mother and Jeonghan have a great time, cooing at each photo, your mother giving an anecdote every once in a while. It isn’t until near the end that Jeonghan finally looks over at you, on his other side. He smiles at the slight pout on your face.

“C’mon babe, stop pouting.” Jeonghan scoots closer to you, sliding his arm around your waist and pulling you into him. Even if it’s just for show, you can’t help but admit it is slightly comforting. Jeonghan then leans in and whispers to you. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You really are the cutest little baby. I mean that’s not a surprise, you’re still cute, aren’t you baby?”

Your face heats up at his words. You’re not sure why he’s laying it on so thick when you’re sure your mom can’t even hear him. You suddenly stand, trying to subtly get distance between you and your fake boyfriend.

“Well, it’s getting late and I’m tired after all of that traveling today. We’ll see you in the morning Mom.”

Jeonghan finally allows you to pull him back upstairs and into your room. You let out a deep sigh as soon as the door is closed and you move to start getting ready for bed.

“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asks you as he changes into his pajamas as well. “I didn’t make you uncomfortable or cross any boundaries did I?”

“No, no, you’re fine,” you assure him. “You’re just doing what any boyfriend would, so keep it up, actually.”

“Okay…” Jeonghan says, the skepticism in his voice. You don’t say anything else though and Jeonghan drops it, thankfully.

You both crawl into bed and you try not to think about how you can feel his body so close to yours. As you close your eyes you can’t help but think you’re not sure how you’re going to make it through the rest of the break.

“We’re going Christmas tree shopping today!” Your mom announces cheerfully when you and Jeonghan make your way downstairs for breakfast.

“You guys haven’t gotten a tree yet?” You ask.

“We were waiting for you,” your mom explains. “So we could go as a family and then decorate it together.”

After breakfast your whole family piles into your dad’s car and you take off to the Christmas tree lot. There’s Christmas music playing on the radio as you drive and you can hear Jeonghan softly sing along.

You’ve always liked Jeonghan’s voice. You find his high, light voice angelic and you could listen to him sing all the time. You tune out the chatter of your parents in favor of listening to Jeonghan the whole ride there. A part of you is glad that only you can hear him, taking this as a moment for yourself.

As soon as the car parks and you all climb out of the car, Jeonghan reaches over and grabs your hand in his. You look over at him to see him smiling at you and you smile back. There’s a bite in the air as you two walk through the trees and you appreciate the warmth of Jeonghan’s hand in yours.

“Oh, what a darling couple,” you hear an old couple whisper as they walk past you two.

“Hear that? We look darling together, darling” Jeonghan jokes after they’re out of earshot. You roll your eyes but there’s a smile on your face as you playfully knock your elbow into Jeonghan’s side.

You and Jeonghan continue to walk around, looking at trees, until your father finds you two to tell you that your bother found the perfect tree. Your brother is bouncing around when you three make your way to the tree and he looks at you and Jeonghan proudly.

“Good choice, little man,” you tell him.

“Yeah, looks like a great tree,” Jeonghan agrees, which makes your brother smile even more.

Your family is standing in line to pay for the tree when your mom gasps. You look over at her to see her giddy face as she points up. You glance up to see the sprig of mistletoe places directly over you and Jeonghan’s heads.

“Well look at that,” Jeonghan says amused. “It looks like we have to kiss. By the laws of Christmas of course.”

“By the laws of Christmas?”

“Of course. I don’t want to end up on Santa’s naughty list,” Jeonghan teases you. You shake your head, smiling.

“If you say so.” You lean in and press a kiss to Jeonghan’s lips.

You’ve never actually kissed him outside of having sex, but it comes surprisingly natural to you. Jeonghan wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you in closer for just a moment, before pulling away. The tip of his nose and ears are pink and there’s a slight twinkle in his eye and he grins at you.

“You have cooties now,” your little brother announces from beside you and you and Jeonghan both burst out laughing.

On the ride back home, your whole family sings along to the radio, and your mother compliments Jeonghan’s voice, which makes him flustered.

After you get back home, your dad and Jeonghan struggle to get the tree to fit through the door as you and your mom snicker at them. After they finally get it into the living room, you, Jeonghan, and your brother get to work decorating it. When your brother asks why your parents aren’t helping, your dad says he did all the work by paying for it.

The three of you (mostly you and Jeonghan) spend way too much time untangling lights before you string them up, finally allowing you to get to the good part. Your family’s ornaments are stored in a large plastic tub and you get to work digging through them. You’re not sure how many your family owns, but you’re sure it’s enough to cover three trees in whole. The tub isn’t organized in any way and you do your best to pick and choose which ones you think will make the best decorations.

Jeonghan kneels down beside you and starts to look through the tub as well.

“These ornaments are cute,” Jeonghan comments as he picks up a small stuffed animal snowman with a loop attached to it. He reaches over to place it on the tree.

“Yeah, it’s a part of my grandparents’ gift to us every year. An ornament for both of us.” You pick up a decoration with a family picture on it and you hang it up.

“You were so small in that one,” Jeonghan says, referencing the picture you just added to the tree.

You glance over the photo. You’re maybe five or six, way before your brother was born. You’re squished between your parents on a bench with Christmas lights behind you. You’re bundled up in a puffy winter jacket and a hat is squashed into your head. It’s a sweet photo.

“You know, this is all quite unfair,” you tell him. “You’re going to have to show me your childhood photos at some point now.”

“Now I don’t know if that was part of the deal.”

“Well we might just have to make it so. I’d love to see tiny little Hannie.”

“Maybe I could strike up a deal…”

You’re about to make a comment on Jeonghan’s sneaky ways, when you feel a tap on your leg. You look down to see your brother standing next to you with a sled shaped ornament in his hand.

“I need help putting this on the tree.”

“I got you buddy.” Jeonghan moves over to pick your brother up, lifting him up so your brother can place the ornament on the tree.

The moment is oddly sweet and when Jeonghan lets him down, he gives your brother a high five after. Jeonghan walks back over to the tub before picking up an ornament. After closer inspection you realize that it’s the ornament shaped like a little bunny with a fluffy cotton tail and a pink scarf. You quickly lunge forward and snatch it out of his hands.

“Aish!”

“Sorry!” You exclaim, holding onto the ornament. “But you can’t place this on the tree.”

“Why not?”

“Because…,” you hesitate, suddenly embarrassed.

“That’s her favorite, she has to place it on the tree every year. In its special spot,” you mom answers as she walks into the room, carrying a tray of cookies.

Jeonghan just chuckles before leaning in to wrap his arms around your waist and kissing your cheek. You flush, trying not to think too much of it. It’s just because your mom is standing in the room. “That’s so cute. In its ‘special spot’?”

“Yes,” you mumble. You move out of Jeonghan’s grip to lift the ornament and place it at the top of the tree, right under where the star sits. The idea is more embarrassing now that Jeonghan is staring at you, the smug little grin on his face, but you can’t ignore tradition just because you know he’s going to make fun of you later.

“Are there any more special ornaments I should know about, darling?” Jeonghan asks and you smack him lightly, both for the comment and the teasing nickname he’s picked up.

“No. Decorate at your free will.”

Your brother is now more interested in the cookies your mom brought in, leaving you and Jeonghan to finish the tree off. It’s weighted down by all of the ornaments you’ve hung on it by the end. You reach down into the box to grab the tree topper.

“All that’s left is the star,” you announce.

“Jeonghan should put it on,” your mom suggests and you hold it out to him.

“Oh no, I couldn’t.”

“We insist,” your mom tells him.

“C’mon Han, just do it, make her happy.” You nudge him a bit and Jeonghan finally takes it before reaching up on his tiptoes to place the star on top. You and your mom cheer and you can see the small smile on Jeonghan’s face.

With the finishing touch on the tree, you’re able to step back and look at your masterpiece.

“I think we did a pretty good job,” you say.

“I think we did the best job, and I should know. I’m a tree decorating veteran.” Jeonghan wraps an arm around your waist. You glance up at him, only to be surprised by him pecking you on the lips. You don’t even have time to react, the kiss smooth like you two do it all the time.

Jeonghan doesn’t bat an eye, turning back to stare at the tree. You feel your stomach flutter.

So here’s the thing. It’s not like you wouldn’t date Jeonghan, he’s a great guy, a close friend, but you two just never evolved into that part of your relationship. The issue when you’re hooking up with someone is that it’s intimate. You’ve spent the night at each other’s apartments, you share the same friends, you have strangely deep pillow talk with one another. It’s all under the same impression that you’re just friends with benefits, but now you’re here, in your childhood home, pretending to be a couple. The circumstances are completely different and now you don’t know how to feel.

All you know is that Jeonghan keeps kissing you with no sexual undertones under it, and maybe you like it a little too much.

When you wake up the next morning, Jeonghan is already awake on his phone. He looks over at you and snickers before turning his phone towards you. On his screen is a photo of you asleep, your mouth wide open and a bit of drool running down your cheek.

“Delete that!” You shout, suddenly wide awake. Jeonghan giggles as he stands up and runs out of the room. You chase after him, yelling at him, until you two make it to the kitchen.

“Well! You two are lively this morning,” your mom comments. She’s standing at the stove cooking breakfast with a fond grin on her face.

“Good morning!” Jeonghan says, a smug smile on his face as he slips his phone into his pocket. “That smells great. Do you need any help?” Jeonghan gestures to the plates sitting on the counter, waiting to be put out.

“Oh honey, no, no, you go sit. You’re a guest.”

“Are you sure?” Jeonghan asks and your mom nods.

“Of course. Pumpkin, you can help me.”

Jeonghan moves to the dining table while your mom moves closer to you, a giddy look on her face, as she hands you the plates.

“Pumpkin, you’ve really found yourself a keeper,” she whispers to you. “Jeonghan is such a sweet young man.”

“Uh, yeah mom, thanks,” you mutter.

It’s not like you don’t know Jeonghan’s a great guy, but the truth is you two aren’t dating. It’s not like you can tell your mom that, but you don’t know how long you’ll be able to keep up the lie after you two leave after break. It was easy when he was just a random name you threw out, but now your mom has actually met him, and he’s doing a little too well at charming her.

And maybe you too. It’s only been two days of pretending to fake date Jeonghan and somehow you’re already questioning your whole relationship with him. You don’t know if your heart will take fake dating him for any longer than you have to.

You and your mom head towards the table where Jeonghan sits next to your brother, looking invested in whatever your brother is talking about. You take your seat on the other side of Jeonghan as your mother sits across from you.

“So, any plans you two have for today?”

“Uhm, not at the moment,” you reply.

“You two should go ice skating! A new place opened downtown. I’m sure all the cute young couples are going there.”

You perk up at the idea. Ice skating has always been a fun winter tradition for you and now you have a reason to go. Right as the sun is starting to set, you and Jeonghan take off downtown. The city is dressed up in lights and it excites the child inside of you.

“Isn’t it pretty?” You ask Jeonghan as you walk down the street.

“Isn't what pretty?”

“The lights. Look at them. It really gets me in the Christmas mood,” you say.

“Oh, yeah. They do look nice. Oh, there’s the skating rink.”

The rink is large and already filled with several people from other couples to families to people just skating solo. There are lights surrounding the rink and you can hear Christmas music playing out of speakers nearby.

You and Jeonghan go and rent your skates before putting them on and heading towards the ice. You slide onto the rink first and then wait for Jeonghan to follow. You watch as he steps out on the ice and moves to push himself forward, only to fall directly on his ass.

You stifle a laugh before reaching down to help him up. As soon as he’s back up Jeonghan moves over to hold onto the wall.

“Is this a bad time to tell you that I’m not very good at ice skating.”

You actually allow yourself to laugh out loud this time. “Why did you agree to come?”

“I don’t know, your mom seemed so excited about it and so did you.”

You smile before skating up to Jeonghan’s side. “That’s sweet of you Han, but we don’t have to continue if you don’t want to. We can just walk around downtown and look at the lights.”

“No, I want to do this,” Jeonghan states, determined.

“Okay, okay. At least let me help you out.” You move your hand to grasp Jeonghan’s and you start to move. Jeonghan gently lets go of the wall to follow you, his grip on your hand tight.

You skate effortlessly, trying not to giggle as Jeonghan does his best not to fall and pull you down with him. You’re skating much slower than you’re used to as Jeonghan clings to your arm.

“How are you so good at this,” Jeonghan whines as you two stop to take a break.

“Ice skating is a family tradition for me. Don’t worry, you look cute.” You reach up to straighten the fluffy hat on his head.

The moment feels oddly intimate, which is an interesting feeling considering you two have seen each other naked. It almost feels like you two are an actual couple, out on a cute Christmas-y date.

If you’re being honest, Christmas has always been your favorite holiday. You love the whole season and the feeling of family and joy and love. When you were little you always dreamed of having a great Christmas romance, and now you have it, it’s just…fake.

You look at Jeonghan to see the soft pink dusting his face and ears and you wonder if it’s because of the cold or if he’s thinking the same thing you are.

“Aww, you two are so cute.” The moment is broken and you look to the side to see an older couple skating up to you two. “Would you like us to take your photo?”

“Oh, um, sure!” You reply, pulling your phone out to hand to them. Your mom did tell you to take lots of photos.

You skate back over to Jeonghan and position yourself next to him, wrapping your arms around his waist as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. You two lean into each other, smiling at the camera. After that photo is taken you lean in to press a kiss to Jeonghan’s cheek.

The couple then returns your phone and bids you a goodbye. You flip through the photos and Jeonghan peeks over your shoulder at them.

“You should send those to me.”

You look at him curiously. In all the time you’ve known Jeonghan, you’ve never known him to care much about having photos of you two together, even as just friends, but you shoot them over to his number anyway. You then grab his hand again and continue to skate.

Even with Jeonghan’s poor skating skills, you two still have fun. The Christmas music sets the mood as you two skate around the rink and you can hear Jeonghan humming along as you skate. The moment is nice.

You two skate for about an hour before Jeonghan’s feet start to hurt and you two decide to put the skates up and pop into a nearby cafe to grab some hot chocolate before exploring downtown more. There is a tree put in the center of the plaza and you and Jeonghan take a few more photos to show your mom.

In the midst of hooking up with Jeonghan, sometimes it’s hard to remember you two are friends as well. You’re a bit glad for this whole fake dating thing, because it gives you a chance to hang out with Jeonghan in a non-sexual manner. It reminds you of how much you like Jeonghan as just a person and how you enjoy spending time with him. It’s really nice.

It’s late into the night when you two finally head back to your house. The lights are already all off and you and Jeonghan creep up to your room quietly, as to not wake up anyone else. You two quietly change into your pajamas before crawling into your bed.

There’s a slight chill in the room and you slide over to Jeonghan to try and get warmer. He accepts you into his arms and you two lay there in silence for a moment before he begins to speak.

“You know, I wasn’t sure about this at first, but I’ve been having a lot of fun. Your family’s great.”

“Yeah…they are. Thanks for doing this for me by the way.”

“I mean, it benefits me too, right,” Jeonghan chuckles.

Right. The reason you’re doing this in the first place: the birth control.

It’s weird to think about now that you’re here. Jeonghan has seemed to blend into your family so well, you nearly forgot the reason this started to begin with.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jeonghan asks.

“What? Oh yeah. I’m just…tired. I think I should try to sleep.”

“Yeah, okay…goodnight.”

When you wake up, Jeonghan is still asleep next to you, and you glance at the clock to see it’s strangely early. It’s then that you hear the tapping on your door and you stand up to crack it open. Your mom is standing on the other side of the door with a paper in her hand.

“Sweetie, sorry to wake you up, but I need you to do me a favor today.”

“What is it Mom? Is everything okay?”

“Oh yes, nothing wrong, but I need you to go out and buy these things for me.” She passes you the list and you scan over it before shooting your mom a look.

“You haven’t gotten the presents yet?” You hiss. “Christmas is in like four days!”

“I know! Me and your father haven’t had time to go with your brother around. Please? Here’s my card.” She passes you her credit card. “You can pick up some gifts for yourself as well. Bring Jeonghan along, get lunch, make a day out of it. Please, Pumpkin?”

“Yeah, sure, Mom. I’ll get it all.”

“Thank you!” Your mom hugs you quickly before leaving. You sigh, staring down at the list. There’s quite a few things on it. The closer you look at it you realize there’s also gifts for your extended family and your father on it. You huff, you have your work cut out for you. At least your mom has marked what store you can find each item.

You walk over to the bed and shake Jeonghan until he wakes up.

“Wha’?”

“Come up, get up. We have a long day of shopping ahead of us and I want to beat the crowds.”

Jeonghan grumbles a bit more but rolls out of bed. You two get dressed before climbing into your car and heading towards the store. You stop at a coffee shop to get both of you take out cups and head to the first store.

Your brother’s Christmas list is mainly toys, which you guess you can expect from a five year old. The toy store is already bustling with people and you grab a cart and Jeonghan’s hand so you don’t lose each other. You make your way through the aisles, doing your best to find everything on the list.

“What about this one?” Jeonghan asks, holding up a green race car. You frown.

“No. He doesn’t like that shade of green, and he already owns three green cars. He wants a purple one…aha! Here it is.” You grab the one on the back of the rack before throwing it into the cart. “Okay. I think there’s toy dinosaurs a few aisles down, and then we should have everything here.”

You two continue through the store before you find the aisle full of different dinosaur themed toys. You pick up a book for you to gift your little brother yourself and then look over the toys.

“He already owns a t-rex, a stegosaurus, and a triceratops,” you mutter more to yourself than Jeonghan. You glance through the toys before landing on a dinosaur with a long neck. “Brachiosaurus, perfect.”

You place this in the cart as well and then turn to Jeonghan, who is smiling at you. “You’re a good big sister, you know that?”

“I’m just doing what my mom asked me,” you tell him as you push the cart towards the check out.

“No I mean, you pay attention to him. You know what toys he already owns and what colors he likes. It’s sweet.”

You brush Jeonghan off again, but the words cause a warm feeling to bloom in your stomach. You two stand in the check out line for what feels like forever before you’re able to leave. As you two are walking to the car you look over at Jeonghan and realize he deserves something for Christmas as well. He’s spending the whole break with you and your family, it’s the least you can do.

“Oh shit, I forgot something. Here, take the car keys, I’ll be back in a flash, I promise.” You hand him the keys before running back into the store before Jeonghan can protest.

You weave through the people before making it to the Lego aisle. You’ve seen all of the models inside his apartment, and you figure this will be a good gift for him. You search through the different kits to find the best one, before settling on the electric guitar set. You’ve seen him play the bass a couple of times, and you hope Jeonghan will still appreciate the thought.

The line is a bit shorter this time and you make sure the box is well hidden in the bag before making your way back to the car. You store the bag in the back before slipping into the driver’s seat.

“You got everything you need?” Jeonghan asks and you smile and nod.

“Yep! On to the next place.”

The next store is less exciting than being in a toy store and it seems to be even busier. You and Jeonghan hold hands once more as you walk through the store. His humming to the Christmas music on the speakers calms you a bit, and you allow yourself to enjoy the Christmas spirit more.

You and Jeonghan make it through the store, and another one before you decide it’s time for a lunch break. You two find a cute Italian place to sit down and rest your feet. You’re waiting for your food to arrive when your phone dings and you see an Instagram notification. You open your phone to see Jeonghan has tagged you in a post.

The first photo is the two of you at the skating rink, your arms wrapped around each other. There are a few more photos. A photo of you holding your hot chocolate while looking at the lights. The selfie you two took in front of the tree in the plaza. The final photo is a photo of you putting an ornament on your own tree at home. The post is captioned Christmas 🎄🎁☕.

“Our friends are going to think we’re crazy,” you tell Jeonghan. In theory, your friends know you and Jeonghan are sleeping together, but you’ve never explicitly said it, and they most definitely don’t know that Jeonghan is spending Christmas at your house.

“So? Let them. Those are cute photos.” You can’t argue with that and you drop a like and repost it to your story.

When you finish up lunch there’s one more store you two have to hit. There are only a few odd and end items left and you can’t wait to get home. You and Jeonghan are looking at sweaters when you feel someone bump into you and you lurch forward a bit.

“Watch it,” the man growls.

“Hey!” Jeonghan shouts, wrapping an arm around your waist to steady you.

“What?” The man turns back around.

“You bumped into my girlfriend.” Despite this not being the moment to get flustered, hearing Jeonghan call you his girlfriend even without your family around sends butterflies into your tummy.

The man and Jeonghan have a stare down for a moment before the man huffs out a pathetic “sorry” before walking off.

“Thanks Han,” you say before you place a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Well, some people just belong on the naughty-list,” he says, which makes you chuckle.

By late afternoon you two finally finish shopping and you get a text from your mom that tells you she’s taken your little brother to the grocery store so you and Jeonghan have time to get the gifts in the house without him seeing. You and Jeonghan quickly bring everything to your room before closing the door. You make sure to slip the present for Jeonghan under your bed before he notices and you then turn to him.

“Want to help me wrap these presents?”

“Of course.”

You and Jeonghan sit on the floor of your room, where Jeonghan soon finds out you’re awful at wrapping gifts.

“It’s so easy. It’s just folds and tape,” Jeonghan says as he places a piece of tape on the most perfectly wrapped present you’ve ever seen.

“Oh shush. I usually use gift bags okay? And now I have you, so you can wrap all of the presents from Santa, and I can do the rest,” you declare as you scribble a To: Mom onto the present you finished wrapping.

“Fine, but only because you’re the worst gift wrapping elf I’ve ever seen.”

Though you know it’s meant as an insult, you can’t help but smile at the cuteness of his sentence. You’re also just happy you don’t have to wrap more gifts than necessary.

It’s late when you wake up the next morning, due to the fact you went to bed late last night. You and Jeonghan stayed up to finish wrapping presents and then you two got onto talking about family Christmas tradition and before you knew it, it was two am.

The bed is chilly and when you sit up to look, the other side of the bed is empty. You wrap a blanket around you and head downstairs to see Jeonghan and your mom sitting at the table talking. When you look out the window it’s a world of white and you start to feel giddy.

“It snowed!” You exclaim. “Hannie, we have to go play in it!”

You know it’s childish, but you can’t help it. You quickly get dressed and put on your winter coat and gloves before heading outside. A few minutes later, Jeonghan exits the house as well, your brother in tow. You search through your garage before you find your sleds and the three of you take a short walk to the park down the street. There’s a big hill next to it and you all take turns riding down it.

“C’mon, ride down together with me.” Jeonghan pats the space in between his legs on the sled and you climb on.

Jeonghan pushes off and then wraps his arms around your waist as you two go speeding down the hill. You can feel the snow fly back into your face and your sled goes tilting before you and Jeonghan are completely thrown off. You two land in a heap together and you both start giggling. You roll over in the snow and start to make a snow angel and Jeonghan does the same.

When you stand up and assess your work, you pull out your phone to snap a photo of the two angels next to each other. You’re just putting your phone away when you feel something cold and hard pelt you in the leg. You look over to see Jeonghan with a mischievous grin on his face, already aiming his next snow ball.

You quickly bend down to grab snow and form your own ammo, while also trying to dodge the onslaught of Jeonghan’s. You two go back and forth, throwing snow at each other, before Jeonghan finally ambushes you and grabs you by the waist and tackles you down into the snow.

You two are breathing heavily as Jeonghan hovers over you. There’s a twinkle in his eye and snow in his hair and you think that this might be the prettiest you’ve ever seen Jeonghan. You’re not sure what comes over you, but you reach up and grab him by the collar of his jacket, pulling him down to connect your lips to his.

Jeonghan melts into you, kissing you back. You two lay there in the snow, kissing, until you hear commotion next to you.

“Ewww.” You both pull apart to see your little brother standing over you two. You and Jeonghan both blush and Jeonghan climbs off of you before helping you up. “I’m getting cold, can we go back home now?”

Neither you nor Jeonghan make eye contact as you grab the sleds. Jeonghan gives your brother a piggyback on the way home when you get inside your brother pulls Jeonghan off to go play video games together. You’re grateful for the break, still a bit flustered from your intense kiss earlier.

You’re luckily able to ignore the boy for the most part for the rest of the day, until it’s time to go to bed. You and Jeonghan shuffle around each other awkwardly until you decide to finally bite the bullet.

“Hey, about the kiss earlier, I’m sorry. I-”

“No, it’s okay!” Jeonghan cuts you off. “Don’t worry I uh…I liked it.”

“O-oh, okay,” you mumble.

Neither of you say anything else as you two climb into bed. You’re not sure if you should move closer to Jeonghan until he reaches over to tug you towards him. You slot yourself into his arms, and you hope he can’t feel your heart beating a million beats per second.

You’re glad you didn’t make anything weird with Jeonghan, but now you’re afraid you may have made things a lot more complicated for yourself.

“You two are on cookie duty,” your mom tells you and Jeonghan as she bustles around the kitchen. She’s been stressed since you two woke up. You suppose that’s fair when it’s Christmas Eve, and it gives you a good reason to not think about you and Jeonghan.

“Can I help? I want to make cookies for Santa!” Your little brother exclaims.

“If you want to, buddy,” you tell him.

“Yay!”

“There’s a recipe book in the cupboard, and I should have picked up all of the ingredients the other day,” your mother continues.

“We’ve got it Mom, no stressing, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you Pumpkin.” Your mom kisses your cheek before running off to finish errands.

You clap your hands together. “Let’s get to baking.”

There’s several cookies your mom has requested you to make and you get to work on the dough for the chocolate chip cookies, while Jeonghan works on the sugar cookies. The chocolate chip cookies are fairly easy and you’re able to pop them into the oven while Jeonghan and your brother are cutting out shapes into the sugar cookies.

“This one is shaped as a snowflake,” your brother explains to Jeonghan as he stamps the dough.

“Ah, I see,” Jeonghan says and you grin. You work around them as you grab the flour to start making gingerbread.

Right as you’re walking past Jeonghan, he spins around, running into you and getting a cloud of flour all over both of you. You can hear your little brother giggling as Jeonghan huffs a laugh.

“You know, darling, this is pretty cliche,” Jeonghan says, still grinning.

“It would only be cliche if I smear frosting on the tip of your nose,” you tell him, continuing to walk past. “But, don’t count that out yet.”

By the afternoon the house is warm and filled with the sweet scent of baked goods. The cookies are cooled and all three of you have already sneaked one or two for yourselves as you sit down to decorate. Your brother has been given the task of frosting the sugar cookies for Santa, while you and Jeonghan get to work building a gingerbread house.

“Look, not to brag, but I’ve come in second place every year for my family’s gingerbread house contest.”

“Second place? Why not first?” You snicker.

“Because my cousin is an architect, okay. It’s called an unfair advantage.”

You giggle once more. “If you say so, Hannie. Here, you can make the shingles with these.”

The two of you work in harmony, decorating the little house with all of the candy. When the house is finished you two move onto making the little gingerbread man.

“Look at little Hannie,” Jeonghan says, holding up the gingerbread man he just made. It’s decorated to look like Jeonghan, even done with his signature smirk.

“Very cute,” you tell him. “But your hair isn’t that long anymore.” You reach over and swipe some of the icing used to make his hair off of the cookie before reaching up to smear it on Jeonghan’s nose.

“Oh I see,” Jeonghan hums, doing his best to keep the grin off his face.

“I told you, don’t count it out yet.”

Before you can even stop him, Jeonghan is dipping into the bowl of frosting and swiping a streak over your cheek. You squeal as Jeonghan grins proudly.

“There, now we’re even.” You fake pout at Jeonghan slightly and he playfully rolls his eyes before leaning in and kissing your cheek, right over the icing. When he pulls away, he’s licking his lips. “I’m sorry, but revenge just tastes so sweet, darling.”

It’s your turn to playfully roll your eyes now, not at all upset with Jeonghan’s antics.

You finish up your gingerbread self as well and place it next to Jeonghan’s in front of the house. Jeonghan pushes his towards yours even more, so their hands touch. “Look, they’re now holding hands.”

“You’re so stupid,” you tell him, but you’re smiling.

“You like that I’m stupid,” Jeonghan teases.

“Maybe…but only a little bit,” you say, but it’s enough to make Jeonghan grin from ear to ear.

It's a Christmas tradition in your house to spend Christmas Eve watching everyone’s favorite Christmas movies, and this year your brother is actually able to make a suggestion.

“Jeonghan, sweetie, you get to suggest a movie as well,” your mother tells him as she readies the hot chocolate.

“Really? I wouldn’t want to impose?”

“You should know by now you’re not imposing, and if anything, it’s Christmas Eve, you deserve to have some cheer as well. It will be nice to have something new in the lineup of movies.”

Your mom starts to pour the hot chocolate into mugs before sliding the reindeer shaped mug towards your brother. It’s his favorite cup to use, even when it’s not the Christmas season, though it was originally gifted to you.

“No Mom, let Jeonghan have it.” Your brother declares as he pushes the mug towards Jeonghan.

“For me? Thank you!”

You lean in towards Jeonghan. “He must really like you. He doesn’t even let me use that mug, and it belongs to me.”

After the hot chocolate and cookies have been passed out to everyone (and your brother has set some out for Santa), you all move into the living room. Your parents sit in their chairs and your little brother places himself on the floor right in front of the TV. You and Jeonghan move over to the couch where you naturally slot yourself into his arms, you two cuddling up together as you throw a blanket over your laps.

The first movie of the night is your brother’s choice, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It’s a classic and you can’t be mad at the choice. The whole time Jeonghan keeps making jokes only loud enough for you to hear and you keep giggling, causing your brother to glare at you, causing you to elbow Jeonghan in his side.

“You better not distract me when we’re watching my movie,” you warn Jeonghan.

Jeonghan throws his hands up in fake surrender. “Oh darling I wouldn’t dare.”

Your favorite Christmas movie is A Charlie Brown Christmas and you make your family watch it every year. For you, it never gets old, and you watch it with what can only be described as stars in your eyes. You know Jeonghan finds it amusing, but you can’t help your love for all things Peanuts and something about that silly little Christmas tree brings you joy.

Instead of your parents choosing a movie, Jeonghan gets to choose this year, and you’re thankful you don’t have to watch your dad’s choice, A Christmas Story. Instead Jeonghan chooses the Jim Carey version of The Grinch, which makes you grin wide.

“That’s my second favorite Christmas movie. Did you know that?”

“Nope, I guess we just have great taste, darling.”

“Of course we do. I mean, we’re dating each other,” you flirt and you watch Jeonghan duck his head in embarrassment.

Jeonghan shifts his position so you’re sitting in between his legs, leaning back against him. His arms wrap around your waist as he rests his head on your shoulder. It’s cozy and your heart feels full at the moment.

You know none of it is real, that it’s all fake for something as trivial as birth control, but right now, you so desperately want it to be real. Enough that you’ll let yourself believe it is, even if it’s just for a moment.

It’s late when the movie is finished and your brother is doing his best to keep his eyes open.

“Hey little man, if you don’t go to bed soon, Santa won’t come,” you tell him as you pick him up in your arms.

“B-but Santa has to come,” he mutters in a sleepy voice.

“Well then let us put you to bed.” You carry your brother to his bedroom, Jeonghan following you behind.

“What if I can’t sleep? Is Santa still going to come?”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to sleep, buddy. Do you want us to read you a story?”

“Please?”

“Hey Han, there’s a copy of The Night Before Christmas in my room, could you go grab it?” You ask Jeonghan and he nods. He comes back a few minutes later, holding the book. He settles next to you on the bed and you hold the book open for your little brother to see.

You and Jeonghan take turns narrating the book until your little brother’s eyes droop down and he’s fast asleep. You and Jeonghan quietly sneak out of the room and slip into yours. Due to the presents being hidden in your room, it’s your turn to play Santa.

You and Jeonghan carry the presents to the living room before placing them under the tree. It looks picture perfect when you two are done. You and Jeonghan move over to the plate of cookies set out before both grabbing one and tapping them together.

“Cheers,” Jeonghan says.

“Cheers, to our success at playing Santa.” You both bite into your cookies, making sure to leave crumbs on the plate for your brother to see in the morning. You split the glass of milk, leaving a few drops at the bottom.

“Look.” Jeonghan points up and you catch sight of the spring of mistletoe. Your family has never been ones to do mistletoe and you wonder if your mom put it up this year just because she knew Jeonghan was going to be with you.

You’re surprised you didn’t see it earlier, but to be fair you haven’t been home much the past few days, and even when you have you haven’t been near the fireplace.

Right then the clock in your house strikes midnight, and you lean in to kiss Jeonghan. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into him, as you cup his face. You two kiss for what you’re sure is much longer than it needs to be before pulling away.

“Merry Christmas, Jeonghan.”

“Merry Christmas, darling.”

“Santa! Santa, Santa, Santa! Santa was here!” You wake up to screaming and you barely have time to process what is happening when your bedroom door is flung open and there’s a tiny body attacking you and Jeonghan.

“Yeah, buddy, we know,” you mumble as Jeonghan yawns loudly. “We’ll be there in a second.”

“You better be.” With that your brother leaves and you and Jeonghan decide it’ll be best if you two make your way into the living room.

Your parents are both already in the living room, both of them looking tired as well. Your brother is eagerly sitting in front of the tree, inspecting each present as he waits for you and Jeonghan to shuffle over to the couch. Jeonghan sits down and you practically sit on his lap with how close you get to him, cuddling into his side, wishing you were still asleep.

“Merry Christmas! Say hi to the camera,” your dad says as he holds his phone up to record your little brother.

“Hi!” He says while waving enthusiastically. “Merry Christmas! Can I open my presents now?”

Your mom chuckles before telling him to do so.

You watch with half interest as your brother opens his presents, doing your best to wake up. Jeonghan is warm against you, though, and it makes you more sleepy. It isn’t until your brother is almost done opening his presents from Santa that you’re awake.

As soon as your dad has picked up all of the wrapping paper, you move towards the tree to open your own presents. It’s nothing much, as you really only asked for clothes and a few other things for your apartment. The life of a college student.

When you’ve thanked your parents for your presents you hand them their presents from you. You’re satisfied at the giddy your little brother has for the dinosaur book you got him and he gives you a giant hug.

“Pumpkin, what’s that present left under the tree?” Your mom points at the final present under the tree.

“It’s my present for Jeonghan,” you say as you pick it up and hand it to the boy.

“You got me something?” Jeonghan asks you, a bit of awe in his face.

“Of course.” You sit down next to him and press a kiss to his cheek. “I hope you like it.”

Jeonghan rips the wrapping paper off to reveal the Lego set underneath, and Jeonghan gasps. There’s an excited grin on his face as he looks between the box and you.

“You got me this?”

“Yeah, I noticed the sets in your room and thought you’d like this. I know you play the bass but-”

Jeonghan cuts you off by lunging forward and kissing you. You melt into him, reciprocating the kiss. When you pull back, there’s a twinkle in his eye. “Thank you, it’s perfect.”

“Oh, let me take a photo!” Your mom exclaims. “Go stand in front of the tree.”

You know there’s not fighting your mom and you pull Jeonghan over. You press your sides together, smiling at the camera. Your brother wants on as well so you two pick him up and hold him between you two.

“Aww, my babies, you guys look so cute! Okay, now who wants breakfast?”

You’re standing on your back porch, watching the snow fall, when you hear steps approaching. When you turn around you’re not surprised to see Jeonghan approaching you.

“You know, you didn’t have to get me anything for Christmas. Let alone a Lego set.”

You shrug. “I wanted to. You’re doing this for me, and I wanted to give you something to show my appreciation.”

“Well thank you. It means a lot to me.” Jeonghan moves closer to you and wraps his arms around you. You accept his hug, snuggling into his arms. “I’m sorry I didn’t have anything for you.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to. You just being here is enough.”

Jeonghan pulls away from you slightly, so he can look you in the eyes. You can see him struggling to say what he wants to, before he eventually just spits it out. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “Is everything okay?”

“I…I’ve really enjoyed the past week, and it’s made me realize I need to be honest with you. I really like you, and I have since we first met. We had that first date which ended in us having sex, and when you never brought up a second date I kind of figured you just wanted to keep it on a physical level. I didn’t mind, but I guess I always kind of wanted it to be more,” Jeonghan admits. “And being here, and spending all this time together and not having sex, it kind of made me realize just how much I like you.”

You can feel your heart beating in your chest as Jeonghan speaks. He likes you. Yoon Jeonghan likes you, and has had a crush on you since you first met. The notion makes your stomach erupt in butterflies.

You stare at him, his cheeks slightly pink from the cold and white snowflakes dotting his black hair. He looks like an angel.

“I understand if you don’t like me back, but I needed to tell you that. I’m not sure what this means for us but-”

It’s now your turn to cut Jeonghan off with a kiss. Your hold on him tightens as you pull him into you and Jeonghan eagerly accepts. He moves his hands to cup the back of your neck, holding you gently as he deepens the kiss. You’re both a little breathless when you pull apart and Jeonghan has a giant smile on his face.

“I like you too. A lot. And being here made me realize I want this to be real, if you do too.”

“Yes. I would love that.”

“Well then, I hate to inform you that I don’t think we can be fake dating anymore, as I have a very real boyfriend.”

“Is that so?”

“Oh yes. And he’s very handsome and talented and a very good kisser.”

“Well it’s a good thing I also have a very real girlfriend, who is also a very good kisser.” Jeonghan’s face gets closer to yours as he talks before he leans in fully at the end, kissing you once more.

“Your father and I are going to go look at Christmas lights with your brother. Would you two like to join?” You mom pokes her head into your bedroom where you and Jeonghan are cuddled up on your bed, watching a movie.

You've been spending the day just enjoying each other's presence. You've also been answering sporadic texts from your friends, asking about you and Jeonghan after your Instagram post earlier.

You posted the photo of you kissing his cheek in the ice rink, the photos your mom took this morning, and a photo of your gingerbread men holding hands, captioned My favorite present this year ♡. Your friends have been hounding you about it since.

You glance at Jeonghan and down at your laptop before turning to your mom.

“I think we’ll just stay here,” you tell her.

She just smiles at you two. “Okay, have fun. We’ll probably be gone for a few hours.” Neither you nor Jeonghan miss the wink she sends you two.

You can hear the garage door open and close as your family leaves and you and Jeonghan both glance at each other. You’re not quite sure what the rules are on how long you should wait to have sex after becoming a couple, but then again, it’s not like you and Jeonghan haven’t fucked before.

“Do you want to-”

“You know just because we-”

You both stop talking when you realize the other one is. You gesture for Jeonghan to continue.

“Just because we’re now officially dating, doesn’t mean we can’t still have sex,” Jeonghan says. “Unless you want to wait.”

“No, I actually was going to ask if you uh, wanted to have sex.” You almost feel awkward, talking about it, like you two haven’t been hooking up on the regular for over a year.

You’re relieved of the uncomfortableness as soon as Jeonghan turns to kiss you. After a week of kissing for show, it’s nice to finally kiss him for yourself. As strange as it might be, it feels nice to kiss Jeonghan like this. Though you’re excited to see where dating Jeonghan takes you, hooking up is how you know him best.

Jeonghan moves your laptop off your laps and climbs on top of you, pressing you into the bed. Though you’re used to sleeping with Jeonghan, there’s still a new air to this. You don’t think you’ve ever seen Jeonghan so eager to fuck you, but you can’t say you’re complaining at all.

Your lips slide together, deepening the kiss, as Jeonghan’s hand ghosts your waist. You can feel his tongue swipe against your lips right as he starts to push his hand up under your shirt. You gasp when you feel his hand grope your tits and Jeonghan takes that moment to slip his tongue into your mouth.

You whimper as you feel his hand slide under your bra as well, his fingers playing with your nipples. His tongue explores the inside of your mouth and you suck on it slightly before pulling away all together. As you take a moment to catch your breath, Jeonghan moves down to suck at your neck.

“F-fuck, Hannie,” you whine.

“So pretty, darling,” Jeonghan mutters.

You push Jeonghan off of you slightly, so you can remove both your shirt and bra. With your chest now bare, Jeonghan takes the liberty of wrapping his lips around your nipple. He flicks the bud with his tongue, while his hand shows the other one some love. Your body arches up into his touch as you feel your cunt clench down around nothing, desperate to have him inside of you.

Jeonghan must realize this as well, and he pops his mouth off of you. “Want me to touch you, pretty girl?”

“Please,” you beg. You wiggle your hips a bit and Jeonghan chuckles as he hooks his fingers into your waistband and slides both your pajama pants and underwear off in one go. Like he’s on autopilot, Jeonghan reaches down and starts to rub at your clit with two fingers.

“Fuck, you’re so wet already. Do you want my fingers or my mouth?”

“D-don’t care,” you mutter, already enjoying the pleasure of his fingers pressed against you. “Pick one. Both. Whatever. Just please, don’t stop touching me.”

You gasp a bit when Jeonghan pushes your legs apart even further, allowing himself to slip in between them. He leans down and starts to kiss your thighs, leaving small nips every once in a while. When it’s clear you’re too impatient for this, Jeonghan closes the gap between his mouth and your pussy, pressing a kiss to your entrance. From there, it only gets messier as Jeonghan darts his tongue out to lap at your arousal. He licks a thick strip along your slit, stopping at your clit so he can wrap his lips around it. You moan as you feel him suck on the bud.

His hands are holding on tight to your thighs, keeping them apart. His tongue swirls around your clit and you buck your hips up as your hands fly to grip onto the sheets. You’re sure you look pathetic, but you don’t care if it means you can get head this good.

His mouth switches between sucking your clit and licking at your entrance. You’re dripping slick now, even as Jeonghan licks it up. He buries his face between your thighs deeper, and you’re sure his face is a mess now. He drags his teeth against your sensitive clit and you whine loudly.

Jeonghan seems to be happy with his affect on you and he finally gives attention to how empty you feel. His finger rubs your slit for a second before he pushes it inside of you. You’re completely drenched and his finger glides in with ease, allowing him to slide a second one in not long after.

His mouth is still working at your clit as he fucks a third finger into you. He thrusts them deeper each time, curling them back to hit the soft spot of your walls. It pays off to have someone know your body so well, and you can already feel your brain going fuzzy as Jeonghan knows all the right places to hit.

Your abs tighten as you can feel yourself approaching your orgasm. Your thighs clamp down around Jeonghan’s head as a warning, and then you’re shaking as you reach your high. You moan freely, your hands grasping at the sheets, as Jeonghan continues to work you through it.

When your body has calmed down, you sink into the bed, allowing yourself to rest for a moment. Jeonghan has finally come up for air, his whole face shiny with your arousal. You grab him a tissue and he wipes off his mouth and fingers.

“You’re turn,” you whisper as you push Jeonghan down onto the bed. He’s still completely dressed you and push his shirt up to kiss down his stomach before pulling down his pants and underwear like he did to you.

His cock springs free, fully hard and leaking. You slot yourself between his legs and waist no time taking the tip in between your lips. You suck gently before working your way down his length. After doing this many times, you’ve had practice taking him, and you can completely get his whole cock down your throat.

Though Jeonghan isn’t very blessed in the girth department, his cock is the longest you’ve ever been with, being able to reach deep inside you and down your throat. You bob your head up and down, letting his tip hit the back of your throat, before you pop off his cock, wrapping your lips around the shaft as your hand fondles his balls.

Your tongue darts out so you can run it against his cock, swirling it around the rim of his tip. You can hear the stuttered breathing of Jeonghan above you, as you back to sucking at the head of his cock. His pre-cum coats your tongue, and you have to admit, the salty taste brings you joy.

“G-gonna cum,” Jeonghan mumbles before he’s spilling his load right into your mouth. You do your best to catch it all, but some still slips out and drips down your chin, which you think makes Jeonghan cum even harder. “Fuck, your mouth is so good.”

You pull your mouth off of Jeonghan, swallowing the rest of the cum in your mouth, and Jeonghan groans. You crawl back up to Jeonghan’s face, kissing him. If the fact you just had his dick in your mouth bothers Jeonghan, he doesn’t show it.

“Need you in me, Hannie,” you tell him.

“Okay baby,” Jeonghan responds. He flips you over, so you’re laying on your back. He removes his shirt, so you’re both completely naked, before leaning down to kiss you again.

You’re not sure how his cock is still hard, despite just cumming, but you can’t complain when you feel him rubbing his tip against your slit. His kiss deepens as he pushes inside of you, your walls clenching down to mold against his cock.

You try to relax, but he feels so good sliding into you. After a moment he’s fully inside of you, his tip pressed snug up against your cervix. Jeonghan slowly slides out of you before slamming back in. Your pussy is soaking wet and you’re sure Jeonghan’s cock is drenched, if the wet squelch was any indicator.

Jeonghan starts to slowly thrust in and out of you, building up his pace as he goes. Your thighs hug his hips as you wrap your legs around him and your fingers dig into his back. You can feel his mouth suck at your collarbone as he slams into you harder.

His cock reaches deep in you, the drag of his cock against your walls causing your brain to go even more incoherent. All you can think about is Jeonghan and his body against yours and his cock fucking you so good. There’s a reason you’ve let him hit with no strings attached for so long, it’s just even better now that you can fully call him yours.

“You feel so good around me,” Jeonghan mumbles into your neck. “Perfect fucking pussy.”

“Love your cock,” you mumble back. “So deep inside.”

“Fuck, need you to ride me.”

You and Jeonghan take a moment to reposition and then you’re bouncing in his lap. Your grip onto his shoulders tight for leverage as you fuck yourself on his cock. His cock hits as a new angle in this position and all you can do is moan like a bitch in heat.

Jeonghan reaches down and grabs onto your ass, guiding you up and down his cock as he squeezes the flesh. Your tits are bouncing wildly in Jeonghan’s face and he leans forward, sucking one into his mouth. You throw your head back as your eyes flutter close, lost in your pleasure.

Your thighs get tired at some point and you start to just grind against him, his cock curving up into you at just the right angle. Jeonghan can sense your neglected clit and he reaches down to start rubbing circles into it. Your cunt clenches down, and both you and Jeonghan can tell you’re about to cum soon.

“Need your cum, Hannie,” you tell him, your words slurring together. “Fill me up.”

“Anything for you, darling,” Jeonghan says, half delirious himself.

It only takes one final jerk of your clit to have you trembling around him. Your pussy walls fluttering against his cock as you fall forward against Jeonghan, your body twitching as you cum. You can feel Jeonghan’s cock throbbing inside of you as he cums as well, filling you full of his seed.

You both lay like that for a while, with Jeonghan still inside of you as you exchange soft kisses. When it’s clear you need to get up, you slowly lift yourself off of Jeonghan’s cock, and you can feel his cum slide out of you.

“Fuck, we need to wash my sheets,” you mumble.

“Okay, but let’s cuddle for just a bit longer.” And well, you can’t say no to that.

“Oh, we hate to see you two go,” you mom says as Jeonghan finishes putting your things into your car. “Visit soon, okay? And bring Jeonghan as well.”

“Yes Mom, I will.” You lean in to hug her.

“Thank you for allowing me to stay with you guys over break,” Jeonghan tells your mom and she pulls him into a hug as well.

“Thank you for being such a good guest. And for being such a good boyfriend to our Pumpkin. Visit soon, okay sweetheart?”

“Of course.” Jeonghan smiles at your mom.

“Bye-bye!” Your little brother says as he hugs your leg. You reach down and pick him up so you and Jeonghan can hug him in between you two. You press a kiss to his cheek.

“Bye, buddy. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Seen you soon!” You let him down and he runs off.

“Text me as soon as you get to your apartment.”

“I will. Okay, we really have to go.”

“I love you,” your mom says as she kisses your cheek.

“I love you too.”

“Okay bye Pumpkin, bye Jeonghan.” You both wave before climbing into the car.

As you take off you reach over and grab Jeonghan’s hand.

“Well it seems this was a successful trip,” Jeonghan says.

“Very,” you agree.

You not only got a boyfriend, but now you don’t ever have to tell your mom you lied to her to get on birth control. It’s really a win-win situation in your eyes.

You glance over at Jeonghan to see him already staring back at you. Yeah, it truly is a win.

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#jeonghan #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan smut #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan fanfic #jeonghan x reader #seventeen #seventeen smut #seventeen fluff #seventeen fanfic #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #kpop fluff #rru.writes #rru.fics #★ mdni

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kechiwrites · 6 months

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choking hazard

simon “ghost” riley x medic!reader

synopsis: you have a very special request for simon. he thinks you're insane.

wc: 1.3k

cw: afab!reader, choking, grinding, hotdogging, haphazard kink negotiation, thigh riding, playful name-calling, no use of y/n ever.

an: a quick little bite of simon and medic reader for this challenge, which i technically failed cause this is way over 100 words. happy thanksgiving

“What?” He asks, but really, it lacks the traditional inflection of a question. Instead, the single word manages to hold deep exhaustion and a healthy helping of ‘what the fuck is wrong with you’.

Which, rude.

You stomp your foot, the moue of your lips more than a little petulant. “Oh, come on, don’t make it weird. Just...a little. Enough to pass out.” you raise your hand and pinch the air for emphasis.

“What?” Oh! The inflection was back, and he’d shifted weight onto his other foot. His cotton mask allows for you to see the top half of his face today, and you’re grateful, because the furrow in his brow exposes that while he really wants to just up and leave this conversation, he’s far too curious, or maybe perplexed? Disturbed?

“I want you to choke me out, Simon.” You grin, shrugging, “preferably with your cock in me but...” You mutter to yourself, pressing your lips together and widening your eyes in mock innocence when he glares at you in response, obviously hearing you.

“No.” He turns away from you, pushing around the ceramic skull you placed in your office. A paperweight, whose presence had absolutely no hidden, romantic meaning whatsoever, you’d simply seen it in a home goods display off base and snatched it up.

It had been on sale. Or something.

“I’m a doctor.” You tap your name tag insistently, “I know my limits, Si.” Now you’re just trying to rile him up, as if he’d ever lay a hand on you in anger you didn’t expressly beg for. Still, he hates when you shorten his name, used to hate it when you said it at all.

Thankfully, things change.

“Fucking quack.” He mutters and you make a loud, dramatic, wounded noise you’d heard in a K-Drama you had watched once before flipping back to your favourite period drama you’d watched a million times over. You flatten your hand against your chest and rear back, more for your own gratification than to impress your offence upon Simon.

“I’m serious! I’m curious and I know it won’t cause any real, lasting damage.” You approach him from behind, wrapping your arms around his middle. He flinches, not from surprise, you guess, but from sensation, before his body relaxes. You push your face between his shoulder blades, rubbing your nose against his shirt.

“I’ll suck you off after.” You murmur, and the lieutenant snorts derisively.

No dice.

“Then I’ll ask Soap to do it!” You release him, and circle around your desk, feigning a grab towards your cell phone.

He doesn’t rise to the bait initially, turning back to face you and crossing his inked, scarred arms. You ogle them shamelessly, eyes greedily tracing every bit of knicked skin, every prominent, tempting vein. Thing of beauty, his arms were. “Go on, then.” He shrugs and consternation makes you furrow your brow in defeat. Unfortunately, the closer the two of you become, the more bags of candy and suggestive texts and lingering glances you exchange, the easier it is to read the other’s intent, your bluffs.

You pout, and kick at the corner of your own desk, shifting it slightly. “Fine. I wouldn’t ask him.” You tilt your head, pinning him with a needy look you hope is suitably enticing, “I’m asking you cause I trust you, Simon. Please?”

Apparently, bald, earnest honesty is the ticket because your not-boyfriend heaves a sigh and uncrosses his arms, raising one to rub at the back of his neck, the black t-shirt he dons stretched tantalizingly tight over the curve of his muscled bicep.

Oh, this was going to be so good.

“Fine. Just don’t piss yourself.”

“Do people do that?” You wrinkle your nose, and Simon levels you with a look, dark brown eyes broadcasting a stark “Do I fucking look like I’m joking?”

Regardless, you clap your hands in celebration, locking the door to your office and sprinting back to stand in front of him, the framed photo of your commanding officer, your mother, and you looking on judgmentally. You try to ignore it but end up putting the photo down on its face, no need for dear mum and your boss to witness your fantasy come to life.

Simon turns you to face away from him, the heat of his hands seeping into your shoulders. He is always so warm. It had been a boon to your freezing feet the few times you’d shared a bed for actual sleeping. (He’d cursed at you for maybe a minute before hiking your legs up to bracket his hips, so you could fall asleep wrapped around him like a koala.)

“Double tap, you understand?” He barks, and you can’t help but shimmy in excitement.

“Yup!”

Simon wraps a burly arm around your neck, not exerting any pressure yet. He hooks his other arm around his wrist so it sits in his elbow, and places that palm on the crown of your head, securing you snugly in a standard choke-hold.

“Good?” He mutters low, his chest blankets your back, and you're enveloped in the clean, sharp scent he usually carries with him.

You laugh, “Yeah-huh-huh-huh.” and you know you sound a little stupid, but you’re getting what you wanted and even without Simon utilizing force, you can feel yourself getting wet, forcing you to rub your thighs together in anticipation.

He begins to constrict your airway and it feels as though your head is ballooning, building up pressure as breathing slowly becomes more and more difficult. Your eyelids flutter closed and your lips part in shock. It doesn’t feel good, necessarily, but it certainly doesn’t feel bad. It’s obvious Simon’s holding back a lot. It probably should hurt but the lack of air makes your mind stutter to a stop, and all you can feel is Simon’s heat along your back and his strength holding you in place and his scent where it’s stalled in your lungs, unable to escape. When he shifts a bit behind you, your eyes pop back open in surprise at what you feel.

“You’re hard!” You wheeze incredulously, using the very last bit of air you had to call him out.

“And you’re a fucking lunatic.” He bites back, jerking his hips forward to rub his clothed erection against the swell of your ass. And he’s been doing that a lot lately, pushing up against your back, grinding along the fat of your thighs. Just last week, he’d spent a whole night hot-dogging (“Dumb fucking name, huh?”) the aching length of his dick between the cheeks of your ass, fucking against your flesh until he spilled hot and thick over your lower back.

You think he may be developing a thing.

He keeps rocking against you, branding his shape into your backside. “God.” He mutters, pulling you up and sliding his knee between your thighs. You can’t speak, what with your brain rapidly losing function, but if you could you’d hiss your assent, maybe scream when the muscles of his thigh nudge against your clit.

Your lungs and cunt burn in unison, and the edges of your vision fade, but you want to keep going, want to come just like this, completely under his control, dry humping his massive thigh, unable to breathe.

Finally, you raise a shaky hand to tap at his forearm, and Simon immediately releases you, letting you stumble forward, off his leg and towards your desk. Your palms make contact with the polished wood and you hunch forward panting loud and hard. The room is fucking spinning, but all you can bring yourself to do is laugh like a fucking maniac.

“You good?” The soldier speaks, the sound of his footsteps just barely piercing through the sound of your rushing blood. Your voice is practically non-existent and you have to clear your throat three times, but when you do eventually croak out a response, your chest heaves with your desperate breaths in between your words.

“Yeah, fuck yes.” Your chest slowly loses that frantic, mounting pressure and when you turn your head to look at Simon over your shoulder, his eyes are unfathomably dark and narrowed, running laps over your legs, thighs and ass.

“Good. Take your scrubs off. Right now.”

#ghost x reader #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #cod x reader #call of duty x reader #ghost x black reader #simon riley smut #ghost smut #simon ghost riley smut #kechiwrites #cod mw2 smut #cod fic #ghost x black!reader #simon riley x you #simon riley x black reader

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elvensorceress · 2 months

Text

sunday sentences 💕

tagged by @rogerzsteven @loveyouanyway @bekkachaos @exhuastedpigeon @daffi-990 @wikiangela @giddyupbuck @evanbegins @wh0re-behavi0r @hoodie-buck tagging if you are so inclined 💕 @eddiebabygirldiaz @hippolotamus @ronordmann @loveyourownsmiilee @spotsandsocks @monsterrae1 @shortsighted-owl @babytrapperdiaz @messyhairdiaz @stagefoureddiediaz @fiona-fififi @thekristen999 @disasterbuckdiaz @tizniz @spaceprincessem @heartshapedvows @diazsdimples @loserdiaz Unless finale with firefam sillies 💕

Buck meets him in the middle section and beams so brightly at him that Eddie breathes easier. He could forget his own name when Buck looks at him with so much joy and adoration.

Even just the simple act of sitting next to each other, pressing arms and thighs together while on the way to a call puts the whole world back in alignment. Eddie’s finally back on the job and Buck is finally, finally next to him in all the ways he needs, all the ways that matter.

It’s suspiciously quiet in the truck as they pull out of the station. There’s radio chatter about the traffic collision they’re on the way to. Nothing that sounds serious. But no one says anything else.

Because Hen and Chimney are both staring. At him? At them? From their spots on either side of Buck and Eddie. They have wide-eyed, expectant expressions that are kind of tense and intense and a lot like being caught snitching cookies but instead of being scolded, someone is just waiting for a confession or admittance of guilt.

Buck looks back and forth between both of them and chooses to play dumb. “What is with the staring? I know Eddie is really pretty, but both of you have wives.”

Eddie bites his lip and is not going to turn red. His face is not going to get hot and he’s not going to say anything he doesn’t have to. Not.

“Technically,” Chim says in a drawn out, this-is-also-only-formality kind of way. “She’s not my wife yet. Soon. Very soon. But not yet.” He grins brightly then, almost as brightly as Buck was. “She asked me to marry her though. I’m going to marry her.”

Eddie smiles back at him, and only aches with maybe two-thirds of his whole being.

He’s never had that. He’s never been so ecstatically happy and excited about being able to get married. He loved Shannon. He did. She’ll always be his first love and the disastrous way it turned out doesn’t erase that. Frank’s voice always reminds him. But the idea of marriage wasn’t exactly happy then. For either of them.

And knowing how it turned out and how neither of them knew how to be a partner to the other and how he never got to enjoy the little things about sharing his life with someone, not even housework and chores and dinners together. It only makes the aching Eddie now has in his chest that much worse.

He wants that kind of partnership so much. He wants Buck to be his husband. He wants every minute, every day, whole lifetimes of being with him in that way. He wants to be excited about getting married and being married.

It’s too soon though.

It’s brand new. They’re working on it.

They have so much to work on.

“What about everyone else?” Hen asks with pointed staring face again. “Any more wedding plans? New dates that we’re going on? Changes in relationship status?”

“Anything to share with the rest of the class?” Chim adds then holds up a hand like a stop now forever. “Anything that is not filthy gory hooking up because I think I speak for everyone when I say, we’ve had enough of hearing about Buck’s sex life. More than enough. Too much. Bad time all around.”

“Okay,” Buck says with his own dismissive hand wave. “I have it way worse. When you talk about your sex life, I have to know that it’s with my sister, and that is just—” he makes a sour, disgusted face and shakes his head. “That’s worse.”

“I don’t talk about my sex life here in this sacred vehicle of life saving,” Chim protests.

Hen gives him a side eye. “You sometimes talk about your sex life here. In this sacred vehicle of life saving.”

“Fine, one time. It was important. We didn’t know how to do the— never mind. You know what else is important?” Chim looks back to Buck and Eddie still pressed together in the middle of their sacred vehicle of gossip and asking too much information. “Telling your friends, your family, your sacred battlefield brethren. Brethren and sisteren?” He glances at Hen and asks, “What would the word even be? Why is language so annoyingly sexist?”

She gives him a “you know why” look.

And he shrugs and continues. “We are your sacred colleagues, comrades-in-arms, ride-or-die, hashtag squad goals!”

“How do you even know ‘squad goals’?” Buck asks and Eddie would also like to know the answer to this question. Because he has never heard of it either and that is not something he will admit ever.

“My nephew taught me. He knows everything. You should know.”

“Your nephew?” Buck gives him a strange look. “Don’t tell me Albert has a secret kid no one knows about.”

Chim makes indignant gestures, likely at the lack of comprehension, because that is definitely his “everyone missed my reference” reaction and he looks to Hen for sympathy.

Oh. Oh, but Eddie gets it. Of course that’s where Chim learned it.

“He’s marrying your sister,” Hen deadpan explains. “Therefore he’s your brother-in-law and any child of yours would be his niece or nephew. Or chosen non-binary equivalent.”

It takes a second, but then a rosy pink flush colors Buck’s cheeks as he grins his “I love Christopher more than all the things” grin.

It’s way too cute. It’s too special and too sweet, and Eddie can’t stop the smile that touches his own face either. But he can press his leg against Buck’s and dream about holding both him and Chris in the biggest three-person family hug.

read on to snippet #2

#buddie #seven sentence sunday #buddie wip #jenwyn wip #fic: unless you ask me to #911

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nanthegirl · 1 month

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15.04.2024

• My first Physics lab was today and I chose to do the Calorimeter experiment. I was so anxious and I could barely sit still cause I had no idea what the test was going to be like. The tutor only asked two questions and I answered the second one and I didn’t practice a response before hand so my German was lacking but she told the Professor my answer was intelligent lmao. I’m not sure why she did that but I appreciated it a lot. I plan to start working on the report tomorrow. It was easier than I expected though, I just hope my partner is wayy more serious than I am

• Afterwards I had a Technical Mechanics lecture for about 2 hours. I dont know what it is that makes physics professors jump on desks whenever they have the chance. But good for them regardless😭. There’s a tutorial for this class tomorrow but it coincides with another class so I’ll have to forgo one of them.

• I made some Anatomy notes and I wanted to try the Blurting method but I was so tired and I wasn’t feeling it at all. I still made some progress though, thanks to @thelastneuron ‘s vaguely threatening tag<3. So I’m calling it a night and I’ll attempt that tomorrow morning.

• I went to the grocery store even though I didn’t need to and it started raining and hailing on my way home. I didn’t have an umbrella. The hail just so bad💀. But I was too excited it was hailing to be upset. I also wore my crocs and my toes were numb and aching before I was halfway home. Definitely regret that part.

#study motivation #studyinspo #university #study #studyblr #studyspo #study hard #study tumblr #notes #productivity

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mcdonaldsplayground · 1 year

Text

| actually the worst | part 5

ao’nung x f!reader

summary: it’s been a month and you’re still fuming over what ao’nung did to lo’ak. however, when kiri asks you to hear him out, you find it easier to forgive him than you thought. a trip to the cove of ancestors seems to solidify the newly restored friendship and also encourages a new aspect of your relationship that you weren’t expecting. when things inevitably go wrong at the spirit tree, ao’nung plays a surprisingly strong role in getting you through the traumatic events of the night.

includes: enemies to lovers, teasing, swearing, mildly suggestive remarks, mentions of seizure/death, ao'nung being... a sweetheart?🫢

word count: 4.3k

a/n: oh my god i am so sorry this took me forever to write! the past few days have just been so busy, but it's finally done😮‍💨 i'm thinking one, maaaaybe two more parts depending on what i can come up with for part 6:)

Okay, so maybe you did like him. A little. Like a minuscule amount. It was microscopic, really.

You had spent the past month fervently denying it anytime your siblings poked fun at you or when you found yourself thinking about it. However, a few days ago you were sitting on the beach, watching your siblings fool around with the Metkayina kids when you realized you had been staring at Ao’nung for an embarrassingly long time. You hadn’t spoken a word to him since the Lo’ak incident, but you’d been staring practically whenever you thought it was safe to do so. Sometimes you thought about everything you disliked about him and fantasized about punching him. Most of the time you were fantasizing about- well…

The point was that you finally decided you couldn’t deny your attraction to him any longer. But that didn’t mean you were about to let anyone else know that. Especially not him.

“[Y/N], are you coming?” Kiri’s head poked into the marui. You stopped braiding the bracelet you were working on, quickly hiding it behind your back as it was going to be a gift for Kiri’s birthday in a few days. Technically it would be your birthday too, but you preferred to celebrate her.

“Where are you going?” You asked excitedly, starting to ready yourself for what you assumed was going to be one of your nightly explorations of the island.

“Tsireya is taking us to the spirit tree!” Kiri exclaimed, clearly more than happy to be going.

“Oh…” You couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. You certainly wanted a chance to finally see the spirit tree of the Metkayina, something you sorely missed about home. However, you knew who would be tagging along on the journey and it was not someone you wanted to be around. “Maybe just go without me.” You mumbled.

“Nonsense, you need to go. It is important!” Your mother stood from her spot next to your dad as they finished eating their dinner together. She squatted down next you, placing a comforting hand on your leg. “You have been sulking around for many days, [Y/N]. I think it will be good for you to go with your friends.” Her smile was kind, reassuring. It’s not like you could tell her why you really didn’t want to go.

“Alright.” You caved, mustering a small smile for Neytiri before you followed Kiri out the door. She was practically skipping.

“Maybe you should make up with Ao’nung, tonight.” She said airily, and you choked on your own spit.

“W-what?” Kiri barked out a laugh, shaking her head.

“Relax. I said make up. Not make out.” Her eyes danced with laughter as you tried to ignore your heated cheeks. Even she, your trusted twin, had not been able to resist teasing you about the bane of your existence.

“Either way, it’s not gonna happen, Ki.” You pursed your lips. She smiled, looping her arm through yours.

“He’s not so bad anymore.” She was no longer teasing, but you snorted out a laugh anyway. “I’m being serious! I still don’t like him much, but you have to admit that he’s been incredibly civil lately.” She was right, of course. The Metkayina boy was still a snarky moron, but he’d actually been getting along with everyone. He’d even attempted to apologize to you, but you were making it incredibly difficult by avoiding and outright ignoring him. “Just give him a chance to talk to you, okay? You don’t have to forgive him if you don’t want to.”

“Fine,” You sighed, wishing anyone but Kiri had asked you this favour. “Though I think cutting my own leg off would be preferable to listening to him speak.”

“Listening to who speak?” You shouldn’t have been surprised that he had snuck up on you yet again. It was becoming ritual at this point.

“Is nothing I say ever private to you?” You whipped around, meeting those shining blue eyes. It was the first time you had made real eye contact with him in weeks.

“I’m going to go meet the others. I’ll let them know you guys are on the way.” Kiri whispered, giving your arm a reassuring squeeze before she took off in the direction of the beach. You swear you saw her grinning.

“So you’re talking to me now, forest girl?” Ao’nung’s deep voice was neutral, but his small smirk betrayed his satisfaction.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist. It’s not exactly my choice.” You scoffed, finding a small bit of amusement in the fact that Ao’nung didn’t know what panties were. You could see him fighting the urge to ask.

“I suppose you’re expecting me to apologize.” He finally said, looking incredibly uncomfortable. It was clear that he didn’t make apologies often.

“I suppose I am.” You echoed, crossing your arms.

“I’m sorry.” He bit out. You blinked, waiting for him to continue. The soft chirping of insects and the distant rush of the shoreline were the only sounds as the two of you stood, awkwardly staring. When it became clear that he didn’t plan on saying anything else, you let out a short, bitter laugh.

“You can’t be serious.” You turned to go, thinking about what a waste of time that was. However, you only made it about two steps before a callused but incredibly gentle hand closed around your arm, tugging you back.

“Wait.” He breathed, sighing softly. You turned slowly back to face him.

“I really am sorry, [Y/N].” You stilled at the sound of your name passing his lips. You couldn’t think of a time when he had actually said it. It was always forest girl, or freak. The way your name sounded coming from him was intriguing. He said it like a prayer. Like you were something to be worshipped. It made it difficult to pay attention to the rest of his apology.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me.” He frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t deserve it, honestly. But I just feel really desperate for you to know that I learned my lesson that night. I kept on imagining what could have happened, how it could have turned out. I- I have nightmares about it still,” He paused briefly, looking past you for a moment as if seeing something you weren’t. Your heart clenched. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to impress people. Trying to be funny and unbothered and worthy of being the future Olo’eyktan. I don’t know when that made me into a monster, but I don’t want to be that anymore.” He swallowed deeply, nervously shuffling from foot to foot while avoiding your eyes. The sight was unbearable.

Without thinking, you stepped closer, reaching up to place your hand on his cheek. Startled, he looked up from the ground, meeting your gaze.

“I forgive you, Ao’nung.” Your words were almost inaudible, but you felt him shiver slightly beneath your touch. Slowly, his hand extended out to rest on your waist, inching the two of you closer than ever. His breathing was slow and methodic and you instinctively reached up, placing a hand over his rapid heartbeat, completely unable to look anywhere but his blown pupils. Your mind felt impossibly slow, barely registering anything other than Ao’nung’s grip on your waist and the fire it was spreading all along your body. It was when his lips brushed ever so lightly across yours- so excruciatingly close to being a kiss- that you came rushing back to reality.

“Jesus christ, I’m sorry…” You took a faltering step back, shivering at the loss of contact when Ao’nung’s hands fell away from you. “I- That-” You stumbled over your words, so utterly embarrassed that you couldn’t think properly.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed…” He shook his head, stepping back a bit.

“I mean- I’m just- I need some, like, some time.” You finally got out the words, hoping you weren’t sounding like a jerk. “You did almost kill my brother, after all.” A breathy laugh escaped your lips, but you instantly regret your words when you realized how terrible they sounded. However, they rang somewhat true. It seemed ridiculous to be macking on the boy immediately after he apologized. You didn’t want to be that desperate.

“So… can we go back to how things were, then?” He asked, his signature smirk playing at his lips. Relief flooded you as you processed his words, glad to be offered a way out of the mess you had just created.

“I don’t know,” You shrugged. “Are you willing to go back to getting your ego demolished by me?” You quirked and eyebrow, earning a scoff from him.

“You wish, freak.” He suddenly turned, starting toward the beach. “Better catch up before everyone leaves without us!”

You huffed, jogging to match to his long strides. “Maybe I can convince them to leave you behind.”

No one said a thing when the two of you strolled up to the water together, looking what you assumed was at least somewhat amicable. Your friends and siblings just shared quick, knowing looks before you all mounted your ilus and started off for the cove of ancestors.

Ao’nung rode beside you throughout most of the journey, and the two of you traded sarcastic remarks and snide comments, seemingly making up for lost time. It felt good, almost normal again, and you found yourself thinking that maybe a friendship with the infuriating boy was actually possible.

"We're here!" Tsireya finally called out, slowing down to allow everyone else to catch up and take in the surroundings. It was truly an incredible sight, with the soft glow from the underwater bioluminescence and lush green vegetation, all surrounded by the jutting silhouette of large curved rocks and smaller suspended chunks of land. You glanced around at the faintly illuminated faces of your companions and a swell of contentment filled your chest. You missed your home in the forest deeply, but you felt that the ocean and its islands had rightfully won a place in your heart, and that gaping wound left by your grief was beginning to hurt a lot less.

"So beautiful." You breathed.

"Yes." Ao'nung agreed, and you turned to where he was floating, already staring at you. You flushed slightly under his gaze, wondering how long he had been focused on you.

"I think you have some drool on your chin." You quipped, and he quickly brought his hand up to his face, looking slightly alarmed. Seconds later, he caught on. His face twisted into that of annoyed amusement. The two of you had never entered this territory of playful flirting before, but he seemed game.

"Very funny, forest girl," He simpered. "And pretty bold coming from someone who's been eye-fucking me for the past month."

Your jaw slackened as everyone else burst out laughing, including Kiri, who you shot a betrayed look.

"What does that mean?" Tuk piped up from her spot on Neteyam's ilu, looking confused. It seemed most of you had forgotten she was there.

"Oh shit- I mean, it's nothing, Tuk." Ao'nung quickly backtracked, earning a threatening glare from Neteyam and another round of muffled laughs from everyone else. Even you could barely hold yourself together.

"Just don't repeat that to mom and dad." Neteyam sighed, shaking his head.

"Why don't we go to the spirit tree now?" Tsireya spoke up, still smiling. Thankfully, everyone nodded and started dismounting into the water. You swam closer to Ao'nung, lightly smacking his arm.

"Nice going, genius." You snickered and the colour in his cheeks deepened.

"Shut it." He rolled his eyes at your continued laughter, though a smile was creeping onto his lips. Eventually, he was full-on grinning, the look so genuine that it was almost shocking. The only two expressions he ever seemed to make were akin to scowling or smirking. This was something entirely new. You realized your gaze had become fixed on the curve of his lips and blushed.

"Who's drooling now?" Ao'nung laughed, settling back into his signature taunting smirk. You decided not to let an opportunity pass you by.

"Don't get any ideas, freak." You shrugged. "I was just thinking that I've never seen you smile like that." Your heart sped up as you finished your sentence.

"Like what?"

"Well... like you're actually happy. You usually just look like an asshole with a debilitating god complex." You had to round things out with an insult, thinking you were inflating his ego a little too much. He just smiled and shook his head, finally turning to swim after the others.

"If you didn't hate me so much I'd think you were in love with me." He said before he dove under the water, heading for the spirit tree.

"If you didn't act like such a skxawng then maybe I would be..." You mumbled, diving under too as you became consumed by your own thoughts. Less than an hour ago the two of you had been seconds away from kissing, but you couldn't seem to let yourself go through with it, like it was somehow offensive to the very core of your being, despite your growing feelings. So why, after such a rejection, were you unrelentingly teasing and flirting?

You had only been attempting to return to what was normal- known territory- between you and Ao'nung. Teasing each other was like breathing. But now that you understood your feelings for him, it was fun to flirt a little bit, especially because you had convinced yourself it was a harmless action, more of a game than anything else. Because you couldn't help but fear that's just what you were to him: a game to be played and won.

So that's how it would be, you decided. You would be happy to oblige in this self-indulgent game so long as it never became more. He was still the bane of your existence, after all.

Connecting to the tree brought you back home both figuratively and literally. The tree of souls flashed in your memory, and with it a thousand little reminders of the life you had left behind. The first time you went hunting with your father, exploring the forest as a child with Kiri, playfully fighting with Lo'ak and Spider, bonding with your ikran, sleeping next to your family and breathing as the forest breathed with you. All of these experiences were collected in your mind like beautiful, treasured shells. It was was wonderful to have them on display.

You eventually ended up in a memory that you didn't even know you had, blinking as you trekked along one of the thick vines that connected the hallelujah mountains together. You harbored many memories like this, certainly, but this specific one felt different somehow. You strained to think of when this had taken place.

"Hurry up, slow poke!" You found yourself calling out, a laugh bubbling from your chest when someone groaned behind you. You turned your head and struggled to make sense of your companion.

"When you said you were going to show me your home, this is not what I pictured us doing." Ao'nung frowned, glancing warily over the side of the vine you both walked upon.

"No? What exactly were you picturing, then, Nung?" You queried and Ao'nung's lips split into what you could only describe as a suggestive grin. Since when the hell did you call him that? Everything about this was so strange to you. It was clearly not one of your memories at all.

"Oh, you know, maybe a little less dangerous hiking and a little more finding a secluded spot to-"

"Oh my Eywa!" You- or at least this alternate version of you- yelped, shaking your head. "Just keep walking, you sick bastard."

"Just putting ideas out there.." He chuckled, suddenly pushing forward to catch up to you. He slung his arm around your waist, pulling you into him like it was the most natural action in the world. You tried to stop alternate you from leaning into his touch, to no avail.

You leaned in closer, standing on your tiptoes to whisper into his ear. "You're so desperate, Ao'nung." He shivered.

"Only for you, forest girl."

You ripped your queue away from the tree, breathing heavily as you desperately tried to work through whatever that was. You had never experienced anything like it before, even when you connected to the tree of souls back home. It scared you.

When you had calmed yourself a little, you looked around at the others, most of whom were still connected peacefully. Ironically, only Ao'nung seemed to be finished as well, his eyes settled on you through the layers of glowing fronds from the tree. He gave you a questioning look, sending you briefly back to your supposed trek through the mountains with him. Your cheeks burned, wishing you could just forget about it entirely. Ao'nung opened his mouth to speak, but didn't get the chance when the fronds around you suddenly began flashing and pulsing.

You snapped your head around, trying to find the source of the change when your searching eyes landed on your twin. Her body was impossibly rigid, her neck bent back as she shook somewhat violently. You immediately dove toward her, disconnecting her queue from the tree as Neteyam swam up and grabbed her, pulling her upwards. You grasped onto her stiff hand, trying to still the tremors that had her fingers twitching. You briefly registered Ao'nung on the other side of her, helping Neteyam swim her to the surface.

When you all burst through the water, panting, you wasted no time in lifting Kiri onto the back of Neteyam's ilu.

"Is she breathing? Is she breathing?" Rotxo asked worriedly, and you mentally thanked him for saying what was on your mind. You couldn't seem to speak as your throat constricted with fear.

Neteyam hopped up beside Kiri and blew a few breaths into her lungs, thankfully getting her chest moving on its own again.

"Let's, go! We have to take her back!" Lo'ak yelled, urging Neteyam forward. As soon as he took off, your hand slipped out of Kiri's, leaving you even more afraid than before. Your own body was stiff, your mind running through a thousand thoughts a second. Everyone around you was mounting their ilus and taking off toward home, but you were panicking too much to even keep yourself properly afloat. Water entered your throat as you hyperventilated, your head beginning to feel extremely light.

"[Y/N]!" Ao'nung's voice sounded distant, but he was somehow directly beside you in the water, offering a hand. You grasped onto it and he pulled you quickly up next to him like you weighed nothing at all. "Just hold on, okay?" He said directly into your ear, his tone urgent but kind. Since you were in front of him, there was nothing much to grab onto except for the arm that was gripping the ilu's saddle. Evidently, that did not seem to be enough for him because as you went speeding along the water, he wrapped his free arm protectively around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest.

The ride back felt like mere minutes, thankfully, but Neteyam and Kiri were nowhere to be seen along the shoreline when you arrived. You hoped that meant they were already inside your marui and getting help.

You were so intent upon getting to Kiri quickly that you stumbled getting off of the ilu, your shaking legs nearly buckling before Ao'nung was there again, grasping onto your arm to steady you. When you found your balance once again, he let go, but stayed close behind as the two of you ran for your marui pod.

"Kiri!" You cried as you approached, catching a glimpse of her lying on the floor of the pod. There were many people scurrying around her, trying to figure out what was wrong, but they kindly made room for you to kneel beside her, taking her hand in yours once again.

"What is the matter?" You looked up frantically, searching the faces of anyone close by in hopes that they had an answer. Most of them looked just as clueless and frightened as you, including your parents. Only Ronal seemed somewhat calm, examining Kiri from her other side. You caught her eyes and a look of pity passed over her features.

"I do not know yet what is afflicting her, child." Ronal said calmly, but you grimaced at her words, your breaths once again starting to come out short and fast. "But she is stable, now. She is asleep. I believe it is her body trying to recover." You relaxed some upon hearing 'recover', but the incident was still fresh and playing over and over through your mind. You just wanted Kiri to open her eyes, to prove to you that you had not lost her.

"Just fix it!" You knew it was unfair to yell and get mad at everyone who was just trying to help, but you didn't know what else to do. You jumped a little when a warm hand rested on your shoulder from behind. Your mother's eyes were filled with worry, but she spoke gently.

"Leave us to help Kiri, [Y/N]. The Tsahìk needs space to work, my daughter." She urged kindly, gently tugging your elbow to pull you up. You reluctantly released Kiri's hand, still breathing hard. Not knowing where to go, you awkwardly spun on your heel, looking around for a better place to stand. Ao'nung caught your eye from where he stood in the doorway and gestured for you to follow him outside. You didn't really want to go far from Kiri, but the rational part of you knew it would be best, so you obliged. As soon as you stepped out the door, Ao'nung grabbed your hand, guiding you away from your marui and down the short path to the beach. You stopped when you reached the sand, the two of you just standing and staring out into the vast stretch of water. Something about it seemed to snap the last little bit of restraint in you, and you began to whimper, a fresh round of burning tears making their way down your cheeks. Your whimpers turned into loud cries mixed with hyperventilating as you lost all control of yourself. You were so far gone that you didn't even question it when Ao'nung suddenly pulled you into his arms, folding them loosely around you, as if unsure of himself. The comfort of it felt so insanely good that you pressed into him further, stretching a bit to wrap your arms around his neck. He took that as a good sign and pulled his arms tighter, forcing your head to rest on his chest as you cried.

"She will be alright. Eywa will protect her." He whispered to you, his thumbs drawing comforting circles along your back. He held you that way for a long time, not once loosening his grip on you even as you began to calm, sniffling for a bit before eventually growing silent. Your breathing fell into a slow, methodic rhythm that was somewhat in tune with the strong and steady heartbeat you could hear through Ao'nung's chest. Your eyes fluttered shut, just allowing yourself to feel the body against yours. The strength of the arms holding you in place. The smooth skin beneath your cheek. The pleasant warmth of the fingers trailing across your back. You sighed heavily, releasing any leftover tension that you had been holding in your chest.

"Don't think this means I like you." You finally said, wanting to distract yourself from thinking about your sister and spiraling again. A reprieve from the situation was necessary, at least for a little while.

Ao'nung chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest. "Of course not." He said. "I would never be so bold."

"How come you're always so warm?" You questioned, enjoying as the heat of his touch bled into your skin.

"It's obviously because of my ridiculous good looks." You could hear the smirk in his words, and you took that as your signal to finally pull away from him, immediately regretting the loss of contact.

"What does that have to do with it?" You raised an eyebrow, skeptical, but Ao'nung just shrugged.

"Nothing. But you just admitted that I'm good looking." His smile was infuriatingly wide. You scoffed.

"I most definitely did not, skxawng. You're delusional."

"Mm, I don't think so." He said, shifting to sit down in the sand, facing the water. You followed, sitting close enough that your leg was pressed against his. Neither of you seemed to care to move away to a more appropriate distance. "C'mon, just admit that you think I'm handsome!" He nudged you with his shoulder, earning a glare from you.

"Not gonna happen, fish lips."

He gasped dramatically, throwing a hand to his chest. "I'm wounded!"

"Aw, poor baby." You mocked, jutting out your bottom lip into a pout.

"Well now you're just being rude." He deadpanned. You laughed.

"You really want me to give you a compliment?" You finally asked, and he perked up, eyes shining as he nodded.

"Alright," You sighed. "Your face is actually kind of handsome," Ao'nung opened his mouth to agree. "When your stupidity isn't screwing it up." You couldn't help but immediately burst out laughing, especially as the conceited smugness on his face twisted into a scowl.

"You're the meanest woman I've ever met." He grumbled, shaking his head.

"That's why you like me." You grinned.

"It's definitely not."

"Oh, but you admit that you do like me?"

"That's not what I said."

"Sounds like it."

"Sounds like you need to shut up."

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legitalicat · 3 months

Text

Out of Time

Chapter 4 - "Eldest Son to Eldest Daughter"

an: I am so glad people are enjoying this story! I've been playing with this concept for nearly a year now. I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much! I want to go ahead and put this out there. I have borderline personality disorder and quite a few other mental illnesses, so all of that influences relationships in my life, which is reflected a lot in this story. Also this is not canon Aegon. This is a version of Aegon that lives permanently in my head.

If you love this header go check out zaldritzosrose for more amazing work! She is tagged on the series masterlist and on my welcome post!

Find the series Master list here!

Summary: Being the eldest child of the Queen or King is a weight many did not understand. It is a weight that dictates her every choice, ruling her heart and mind. Aegon, understanding the feeling, gives her the gift of a connection she could not have with another person.

TW: Very blatant mental health struggles, Substance Use (I added 🍃 into this world cause it not being in there is unrealistic), talks of alcoholism, religious talk, mentions of injury, self image issues, bad parents, divorced parents, moon tea, Aegon is so in love with reader it makes me ache

Relationships: Aegon Targaryen ii x Velaryon!Reader, past Aegon Targaryen ii x Helaena Targaryen

Word count: 3.7k

When I woke up this morning, only to find Jace gone from my bed and a cup of moon tea on the table, all I wanted was to hide away from the world. But there was more to my life than just Jace and Aemond. I had others who loved me, who had missed me this entire time. With that in mind, I dressed for the day in a simple lilac colored dress, drank the tea in one quick gulp, and had Ser Erryk escort me to Helaena’s chambers.

Her and Aegon’s children were with him for the morning. With both of them still happily in the Red Keep, I suppose it made sharing their children’s time easier. Though I don’t believe there has been a situation such as this ever. Most marriages that ended in annulment happened because there weren’t children from my understanding. Though until now I had not known of anyone who had gotten an annulment.

“How did my mother grant the end of your marriage?” I couldn’t help but ask Helaena. We were working on our cross stitching together. It was an activity that soothed her and I was all the happier to make sure she was calm. “Doesn’t the Faith typically have to be in agreement? And I mean, you two had three children together, wouldn’t they just deny it?”

Helaena chuckled. “I often times forget how little you and your brothers paid mind to the teachings of the Seven,” she said to me.

Fair enough, I suppose. Technically speaking, we are followers of the Seven. Yet anyone with eyes knew that we only did it because we kind of had to. I don’t believe Mother or Laenor had any vested interest in their teachings. They certainly never passed anything on to us outside of the bare minimum. I know my father’s family believed in the Seven, but since he was never allowed to claim us, he had no right to teach us his beliefs. In truth I only knew anything about them from Alicent.

“So explain it to me as though I’m five,” I said, shrugging a bit.

“It is unholy to hold one in a marriage against their will. Aegon and I were so young when we were married, and it was done under the misguided notion that your mother and family may seek to squash any competition for the Throne, so it was not difficult to make a case for it to be an unlawful marriage. Though I do feel that Rhaenyra may have reminded the Septon that he can be and would be a delicious snack for Syrax should he not see reason,” she told me. The smile that played at her lips as she thought of it was enough to make me smile.

“And what is it you wish to do now?” I asked her.

“I am perfectly content to live my life here. I love my family, I love my home. Though I do wish my mother had bothered to ever understand me,” she explained.

My smile fell from my lips. Time changed many things but Helaena’s distance from Alicent didn’t seem to be one. It was unfortunate, truly, as Helaena was wonderful. She may be more into bugs than most people, she may have her dreams and episodes, but she was not mad. In fact when actually making an effort to know her, one could find she was the opposite.

I had always wished I could see the world Helaena does. The world that I live in is dark and dreary, a place where one loses any semblance of a father before they even understand how great they are. It is a place where most everyone prefers men over women, despite the women being capable and strong in their own right. The world I live in? It is not a place built for Helaena.

Yet the one she lives in? People are praised for what they have done. There is no consideration other than who truly is right and just. Even in the darkest moments in which her mother tried to keep her from being who she is, my mother always gave safe passage to her sweet sister. Helaena paid no mind to those who were insignificant unless they hurt her family or her bugs.

It Is not to say she is naïve. In fact, I would think she sees more truth than any of us. But being the third child, born after an eldest daughter and eldest son, is very different than being the eldest. She did not have to fight to prove she was worthy like Mother did. And she does not have to step away because she knows she would not be accepted over her brother as I do…

I was born approximately two hours before Jacaerys. A long time between twins as I’ve been told, but enough time there was no doubt about who came first. Truthfully to my mother I don’t think it mattered which of us was born before the other. We are twins and therefore she always gave us the choice.

She explained to me that her father had named her heir before he had any other living children and never looked back. Once Aegon was born, most expected Viserys to change his mind. But he remained steadfast in his decision, never caring if Mother still wanted it. To this day I don’t know if she did. As such, she wanted to make sure we always had a choice.

“You’re doing it again,” Helaena said softly.

When I looked to her, she nodded her head to my hands. I had been so completely lost in thought that I didn’t notice I had repeatedly pricked my fingers with the needle I was using. Blood seeped through the fabric in several dots scattered around.

“Sorry,” I muttered before sitting the cross stitch down. Standing, I walked over to the bowl of water that was kept for washing her hands and dunked my fingers in it a few times.

“Our mothers are planning a feast to celebrate your return,” she told me as I turned back around. “I think it will happen week’s end.”

Naturally. It seemed they always found a reason to celebrate me. On my name day, it was always me who got doted on. Jace got put in the shadows, not that he seemed to mind much though. When I claimed Vhaela, only a few weeks before I disappeared, it was a much brighter occasion than Aemond claiming Vhagar. When I returned to King’s Landing, it overshadowed the tourney being held for Aegon to celebrate his own name day.

It was never my Intention, truly. Those around me just deemed me important. I had never wanted to be the center of attention. All I wanted was to do right by my family. Never have I sought out great fortune or the throne for myself, though technically it should be mine by birth order. All I craved was love.

“Are you happy?” I asked her, trying to change the subject.

“Yes. Aegon is a wonderful father, but he could never love me. And I do not love him,” she told me.

Before I was given the chance to respond, the chamber doors opened. Helaena’s children ran to her. The twins, Jaehaera and Jaehaerys, were nearing twelve at this point. They looked it, too. If you were to ask me, Jaehaera looked like Alicent but with the typical Targaryen silver hair and violet eyes. Jaehaerys and Maelor, who was nearing eight, were carbon copies of Helaena. They had the same curl to their hair as she did, their noses equally as small and rounded.

As the three children excitedly talked about their morning, I quietly excused myself from the room. While she would never say anything, there was not a place for me with Helaena and her children by myself. Those kids don’t remember me, though I remember Helaena’s every letter describing them in their early years. For both pregnancies, there was not a movement they made inside her that did not warrant a letter to me. But that was then.

In the corridor, Aegon stood and spoke with Ser Erryk. Erryk had a twin too, named Arryk. From what I remembered, Arryk and Aegon were quite close, the former taking on the watching over of the latter once Aegon hit puberty.

“Beautiful kids,” I said to him, offering a small smile. When he looked to me and smiled, I couldn’t help but blush a deep red.

“Thankfully they take more after Helaena,” he said to me. He stepped closer to me, extending a hand to rest under my chin. I swallowed hard as he tilted my face around in the light. “You should perhaps be more careful.”

“I shall keep that in mind,” I said, unable to hide my chuckle.

“Where are you headed to? I could join you,” he suggested as he offered his arm to me to take, dropping his hand from my chin.

“I was just going to head back to my room. Truly, Aegon, there is no need to bother yourself,” I told him.

“My darling, there is never a bother when it comes to you.” His voice was light and airy, as though the words he spoke were just the most casual thing in the world. But there was a firmness to them that I truly believe only he could accomplish.

It wasn’t so much a demand. He was not like Aemond, demanding and sure of himself. He was not like Jace, either, in being soft and guiding always. Aegon was something entirely different.

He had always seemed arrogant. He was the first born son so it was natural that he grew into believing he deserved everything he wanted. But only when you spoke to him when everything else was quiet did you ever get the truth.

He had never been much more than a scared little boy. There were frequent talks of what he feared would happen when Viserys had died. He had always been scared his mother would try to force him to take the Throne. When he was betrothed to Helaena, he was scared he wouldn’t be good enough for her. He was scared that I would grow to hate him, completely ignoring that I could never hate him.

The closeness I shared with Aegon was something that bordered on secretive. While it wasn’t that we felt the need to hide, as there truly was never anything to hide, it was what made him comfortable. He would come to me late at night when he could not sleep. I think it is when he felt safest. Even when we were children he preferred the night.

It was in the night that he saw beauty in his life. He didn’t struggle as much then to resist drinking, which had always seemed backwards to me but he swore it. The pressures that were placed upon him from Otto and Alicent didn’t exist at night. The person he truly is was enough for the shadows of darkness.

Perhaps it is my own cockiness but I like to think I see a side to him that others don’t. When we were alone I got to hear him sing. I don’t think anyone else knew he liked to sing let alone how good he was at it. The first time he ever sang me a song that he had picked up in a tavern, tears sprang to my eyes. And when he isn’t drunk, he is quite smart. He knows politics even better than Aemond. He knows how to get people to like him and trust him, a rare commodity in this world.

And if Helaena says he is a wonderful father, I have no doubt about it. I remember him writing to me the first time Helaena was pregnant. He was so happy and excited, determined to be better to his children than Viserys ever had been to him. When I had come back to King’s Landing, while he still struggled with the drink, he was so devoted to making sure they didn’t see it.

“I would be glad to have you along,” I said, smiling at him. Though I didn’t take his arm. He merely nodded at me and followed me, allowing me to set the pace in which we walked.

As we walked, we walked in silence. Our footsteps echoed off the stone walls, the small ching and squeak of Ser Erryk’s armor followed behind us. I was perfectly comfortable.

We got to my room in just a few minutes as it wasn’t far from Helaena’s. Ser Erryk took his place beside my door. I gave him a small smile and nod before leading Aegon into my room.

He took a seat in a chair in front of the fireplace. He seemed like maybe he ran cold, always choosing to sit close to fires or walking around wrapped in a blanket. I was like that too, of course, much to the hatred of Jace when we shared a room still.

“I am happy to see you home, have you need of anything?” he asked me when I sat in the chair next to his.

“I merely wish there was something I could take for the pain that wasn’t milk of the poppy. The way it muddled your father’s mind has made me certain I will never use it,” I told him simply.

He nodded softly and reached his right hand up his left sleeve. “In case you have not been told, I want you to know I am sober now. Have not had a sip of wine since the night you disappeared,” he told me.

“Aeg, that’s amazing. I am so proud of you,” I said as my heart felt like it was going to burst.

Truly I don’t think he had ever stood a chance against being a drunkard. Mother told me a long time ago how Viserys was giving Aegon wine by his second nameday. I never could understand why Alicent was so okay with that, especially because for my entire life she had yelled at him for being drunk. Like the night Aemond lost his eye, Aegon got blamed for not protecting him because even at thirteen he went and got so drunk he passed out on the steps. How on earth did she go from so passively allowing him to drink when he was a baby to being so vile about his problem?

He looked at me, his face saddened for a split second before he grinned and pulled out a pouch. “The Grand Maester told me to use this. It’s hemp. Mostly used for creating things, building and whatnot. But someone at the Citadel found if you consume it, it gives you what they call a high. But it is gentler on the health than being drunk. I’m not sure the process but they cook it into butter and then can bake it into things.”

He opened the pouch and pulled out a biscuit the size of his palm. He split it in two and offered me half. It didn’t look abnormal or smell any different. The biscuit looked very appetizing though.

“Do I just eat it?” I asked him, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. But start slow. Too much at once and you’ll be completely incapacitated. Just a small bit should help your anguish, both physically and mentally,” he explained. “It will not be immediate like milk of the poppy. But it will be effective.”

Cautiously, I took a bite, eating on a quarter of my half. This was something I would never have done on my own. Yet Aegon had never truly steered me wrong, always seeming to have my best interests at heart.

After he took his own bite, eating a little more than I did, a silence fell between us as he just watched the flames. Aegon sometimes seemed like he wished that the world would open and swallow him whole. The way he would avoid looking at me, or anyone for that matter, spoke volumes about how uncomfortable he was even if nobody else realized it.

I remember once he told me that if he didn’t look at people he could convince himself they weren’t looking at him. When I tried to point out that wasn’t right he just put his hand over my mouth so that I couldn’t. It was that moment I realized how alike he and I are.

I escaped the duties of being Mother’s eldest child by pretending I wasn’t. Stepping aside so that Jace could be heir and acting as though I was okay with it was the biggest way I accomplished this. If I were honest, I wanted to be Queen, not Queen Consort. Hiding that fact from everyone, including my twin, repeatedly affirming his place as the next King essentially robbed me of a piece of my identity and forced me into a new one. One in which I was meant to stand by his side and have his children.

Aegon liked to hide from being the eldest son by pretending he didn’t exist. He didn’t just refuse those duties. He simply treated them as though they weren’t real. He used to disappear rather frequently for a few days at a time, only to be found in a tavern or a brothel and dragged back to the Keep. He had always been so drunk he never remembered his time there.

“I missed you,” he said quietly. “I know you never felt for me the way you did Jacaerys, or even Aemond. But you are probably the only woman I’ve ever loved.”

He didn’t look at me when he said it which made me wonder why he did. It seemed silly to me how badly I wanted him to look at me. My entire life I felt like I had been begging Aegon to look at me.

He was right, I never felt for him the way I did Jace or Aemond. But he was the first person that ever made me blush. He was the first person who I considered marrying for any reason. He was my first crush and I think that for a lot of people that was a pretty sacred role.

I wanted a dragon so badly because of his relationship to his own dragon, Sunfyre. I don’t remember exactly when they came together, only that Aegon claimed Sunfyre just as I claimed Vhaela. And they were a sight to see together, having potentially the strongest bond of any dragon and rider. I swear Aegon could be hundreds of leagues from Sunfyre, merely think of needing him, and Sunfyre would go there without a second thought.

There was also the fact that they were very beautiful together. Sunfyre was perhaps the most beautiful dragon to ever exist. His scales were a dazzling, glittering gold while his belly and wing membranes for a soft pink. When he stood tall, he looked like a perfect golden statue.

Aegon was the epitome of Targaryen beauty. His silver blonde hair was not as long as Aemond’s, but was chin length and began curling near the end. He had the classic Valyrian lilac eyes that sparkled in the firelight. He had a square jawline and lips fuller than Aemond’s. He was about five inches taller than me, and therefore Jace since he was my height, at about five foot ten, and just two inches shorter than Aemond.

He truly was a beautiful mixture of Jace and Aemond. His eyes, hair, and eyes were soft in such a way they drew me in. Yet his jawline was sharp like he was chiseled in stone. One could argue all the gods in the universe came together to create the perfect man in him.

I became very aware I was staring at his lips. My cheeks became hot as the blood rushed to them. He turned to look at me, a small goofy smile on his face when he saw me looking. It caused my cheeks to become even hotter.

“You’ve been staring for quite a while, how are you feeling?” he asked me.

“Fine,” I said as I shrugged.

My feet didn’t quite feel right though. Like they didn’t really exist but they do exist. He chuckled at something, I’m guessing my face, and I could feel a giggle bubbling up in my chest.

“Oh you feel it,” he told me, grinning.

“You’re pretty,” I whispered, leaning towards him. “Have I ever told you that?”

“Pretty?” he asked.

Slowly, I nodded. He was pretty. But not the way Mother or Helaena was pretty in an elegant and sophisticated way. He was the type of pretty like fire. One that was dangerous and wild, where I couldn’t quite guarantee I would make it out alive.

“You’re pretty, too,” he told me quietly.

I think he was the only one to ever call me pretty. Aemond called me beautiful and Jace called me perfect, yet never pretty. Except the times they called me pretty during sex, that is. Being pretty in the mundane was something special to me. It was like I was a flower or even a star.

He reached out and took my hand. We sat in silence for a while. There was no way I could tell how long we sat there, just looking at each other while saying nothing. It felt nice in a way I could not explain.

“My darling pretty girl,” he whispered, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. “How is your pain?”

“Better, thank you, Aegon,” I whispered.

My heart was light in my chest. It fluttered rapidly, my cheeks heating up once again. He was looking at me like I was precious to him.

He stood from the chair, moving to stand in front of me. The flutters turned to a steady pounding. It was beating in my ears loudly. Aegon didn’t say anything before he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of my nose, something that he had done when we were kids.

“I will ask the Maesters to prepare you the same biscuits. I do not like to think of you in pain,” he whispered to me. “And it may help if your thoughts get to be too much.”

Without saying another word, he took his leave. He walked out of the room, leaving me to sit alone with only my thoughts of him.

#dividers by benkeibear #aegon targaryen ii #aegon targaryen x reader #helaena targaryen #mental illness in fiction #out of time

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robininthelabyrinth · 6 months

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The Other Mountain - ao3 - Chapter 31

Pairing: Lan Qiren/Wen Ruohan

Warning Tags on Ao3

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Perhaps sending an urgent message to summon Lan Qiren back to his side at once was a little excessive, given that there was no genuine need for such urgency, but Wen Ruohan did not especially care. Would it be thoroughly undignified to admit that he was sulking?

Because he might be sulking.

“Oh no, you are definitely sulking. Unbelievable amounts of sulking,” Lao Nie said, quite cheerfully.

“I’m not sulking,” Wen Ruohan informed him firmly, only to have Lao Nie nod at him with an air of deep wisdom and exactly zero belief, an expression which he somehow managed to make simultaneously both condescending and scornful. “I am not!”

“Of course not. What a ridiculous thought. Why would you ever sulk? What possible cause could there be for your sulking?”

Truly, Lan Qiren had been indisputably correct when he had described Lao Nie as the most obnoxious man in the cultivation world.

“Are you going to help or not?” Wen Ruohan scowled at him. He hated having to need Lao Nie for anything – as he unfortunately now did.

Qingheng-jun had surrendered, and so, out of lack of better options and cursing himself for a fool the entire time, Wen Ruohan had taken him prisoner. But with Qingheng-jun’s strength and cleverness, Wen Ruohan didn’t dare entrust him to anyone he wasn’t certain could defeat him in battle, and never mind that he was disarmed and technically had surrendered voluntarily.

Tragically, that left only himself and Lao Nie.

And between the two of them, it couldn’t be him, because if Qingheng-jun didn’t stop smirking, Wen Ruohan was going to give up on all of his good intentions and just haul off to murder the man.

It would feel so good, too.

“Yes, yes, I’ll take custody of him,” Lao Nie said, rolling his eyes at him and even sticking out his tongue at him like a child. “I’m always willing to help, Hanhan, you know me. Now go off and pine for your sweetheart like some adolescent with a crush.”

“I do not pine.”

“Mm, right, right. And you don’t sulk, either.”

“I am not sulking,” Wen Ruohan sulked. “It would be immature.”

“Hanhan,” Lao Nie said, with great affection. “You are immature. It’s part of your charm.”

Wen Ruohan had been so offended by that suggestion that he’d nearly managed to forget about Qingheng-jun for a whole shichen thereafter, which in retrospect was probably at least part of what Lao Nie had intended. Wen Ruohan would reluctantly admit that he did have something of a bad tendency to dwell overmuch on things that had gone wrong, or which did not please him – which was not the same as sulking – and at present there wasn’t time for that. He had more than enough to do, between managing the increasingly worried residents of Lanling City, managing the increasingly irritable Madame Jin, and managing his own army, which had finished collecting the cursed coins…not to mention figuring out what to do with the coins now that he’d started to amass quite a collection of them.

Currently he was thinking of just throwing them in the smelter and calling it a day.

Yes, he could probably figure out a way to remove the curse if he put some time and effort into it.

No, he did not care enough to do that.

There was really no point in studying the coins themselves – if he wanted to learn more about the curse, he could just ask Lan Qiren to dig up whatever weird Lan sect book he’d found it in, or for that matter interrogate Qingheng-jun himself. On the other hand, melting down the coins would help break down the curse, making it easier to banish it using standard arrays and talismans against resentful energy. The only reason to go to the effort of preserving the actual coins themselves in their present form was if someone wanted to keep them as they were.

Which, being as they were cheap gaudy trash no one actually wanted, no one did.

Wen Ruohan supposed that there was some argument to be made that the coins represented the last thing Jin Guangshan had created in his life, give or take some bastard children yet to be born, and therefore ought to be maintained as some demonstration of respect.

Which settled it. They were going into the smelter for sure.

There was also the matter of arranging for both Jin Guangshi and his family and little Jin Zixuan to go to the Nightless City. Wen Ruohan had thoughtfully managed that matter on Lan Qiren’s behalf, mostly through a combination of loudly blaming Madam Jin for the various issues they’d encountered since arriving in Lanling City (assassinations, deliberate obstruction, and so forth) and making a number of pointedly implied threats related to exposing the depth of her husband’s involvement in the matter of the cursed coins.

It wasn’t that difficult an accusation to make. There were already all sorts of rumors going around Lanling City (and indeed the entire cultivation world) about Jin Guangshan’s so-unfortunate death, the nature of the Wen sect’s quite justified retaliation for what had happened at the Lotus Pier, and even some clever people who’d made an effort to connect it all to what had happened so recently in Xixiang. Madam Jin and Wen Ruohan both knew quite well that it wouldn’t have been hard at all for Wen Ruohan to push the rumors in a direction that would have been utterly disastrous to Madam Jin’s attempts to retain legitimacy and maintain Lanling Jin’s face and power in the cultivation world. Even for someone who was as cunning as she, there was no choice but to yield in the face of evidence that her husband had tried to murder not merely a rival sect leader, but the entire cultivation world, though Madam Jin certainly made a decent effort.

She particularly hadn’t wanted to give up her son.

Such a pity for her, then, that the person extorting her was not Lan Qiren, who would probably have tried to appeal to her better nature (likely non-existent) or the health and happiness of her son (probably irrelevant to her beyond him being healthy and alive) or maybe even to the greater good (even less relevant), but rather Wen Ruohan, who had no problem skipping the solicitude and going straight to outright blackmail.

Wen Ruohan might have had more sympathy for Madam Jin’s position if she hadn’t shifted so smoothly over from genuine concerns about Jin Zixuan’s well-being – which had faded rather quickly as soon as she’d realized that Wen Ruohan intended to put Lan Qiren in charge of him, right alongside his own children, thereby guaranteeing him both the most prestigious education in the cultivation world and a chance to make valuable future political connections both – to political calculations designed to shore up her own power as regent. It wasn’t as though Wen Ruohan couldn’t respect someone using wits and ruthlessness to get ahead, but for personal reasons he felt a particular level of distaste for Madam Jin’s obvious attempts to use the taking of her son as hostage to as leverage to get all sorts of assurances that Wen Ruohan would replace the benefits of her son’s presence with his own promise of support.

As it was, Wen Ruohan simply ignored her requests, whether implicit or stated outright, and instead followed Lan Qiren’s idea of referring her to his army any time she had an objection to his proposed plan. It was objectively hilarious how many colors her face turned every time he reminded her of it.

Coins handled, army settled (and military discipline strictly maintained, as promised), Lanling City’s domestic leadership reassured – really, Wen Ruohan had been very productive. Far too busy, certainly, to be said to have been sulking.

Not that he would be. Because he wasn’t. Just like he wasn’t pining, because that would be absurd.

Why would he pine?

Lan Qiren was his. They were married, together for a lifetime. They had all the many years of the future to be together, and if Wen Ruohan had anything to say about it, there would be very many years indeed. Lan Qiren had given him his heart, had fallen in love with him, and the Lan of Gusu Lan took such things incredibly seriously – and Lan Qiren more seriously than most.

It wasn’t as though he were suddenly going to change his mind just because he’d gone home for a visit.

Lan Qiren didn’t change his mind easily about anything. He didn’t like change at all, and he’d already gotten accustomed to the Nightless City. There was really no need to worry that he would be swept by a wave of nostalgia and homesickness upon visiting the Cloud Recesses and refuse to return. Nor was he so lacking in spine that his Lan sect elders would be able to bully him into staying by demanding that he return to his duty, or succeed in any effort to try to split them up, to force him to request a divorce…not that Wen Ruohan would ever grant one.

There was no need to worry, so Wen Ruohan didn’t worry.

He certainly didn’t pine.

He’d called Lan Qiren back because he needed help in managing all the things he had to do, and that was all.

Yes, fine, technically, none of the things Wen Ruohan was doing at the moment actually required Lan Qiren’s presence, much less urgently. Lan Qiren’s particular talents aside, Wen Ruohan was far better suited to diplomatic political maneuvering of the sort he was currently engaged in with Lanling Jin. His army was largely self-sufficient, he was accustomed to managing all sect matters on his own, and there wasn’t much he could do to help encourage the coin collection in the other Great Sects, since they would only grow less cooperative if he got involved. Even dealing with Qingheng-jun wasn’t that urgent, though naturally it’d be better to resolve that matter sooner rather than later.

There was no actual need to summon Lan Qiren back.

Wen Ruohan just wanted him back.

Which had nothing to do with pining, no matter what Lao Nie might imply. Life was simply more interesting when Lan Qiren was around. Life was simply better when he was around.

Really, Wen Ruohan had to hand it to himself: with each passing day, he grew increasingly assured of his own brilliance, both in general and specifically for his genius move of having sought and obtained Lan Qiren in marriage when he had. He would never again encounter such a heaven-sent opportunity to steal such a precious treasure from another Great Sect, not even if he destroyed them all and raided their treasuries to claim them for his own. Lan Qiren was the finest treasure he would ever be able to find, a pearl beyond pearls, priceless and unique, and he was his.

Wen Ruohan wasn’t giving him up, not for anything. Even if the Lan sect now regretted giving him up, as surely they must, it was surely too late…

“Sect Leader, report! Senior Lan has arrived.”

“Good,” Wen Ruohan said, brightening and setting aside the paperwork he’d been dawdling over. “Send him over to me at once.”

He was admittedly curious to know how Lan Qiren’s efforts to scold his sect into virtue had gone. Wen Ruohan was, on account of his personal age, one of the only sect leaders not to have to deal with the baggage of sect elders, and he greatly appreciated having that freedom. Still, he certainly remembered what sect elders were generally like – and not especially fondly.

They were always a bunch of old farts that thought they were due deference if not outright groveling by the younger generations just because they’d managed to not die, each one of them puttering around and opining on things that didn’t concern them as if unable to resist the urge. His Wen sect was well rid of them, in Wen Ruohan’s view! Still, during the period that his own sect elders had been alive, that seemingly endless collection of uncles, aunts, older cousins, grand-uncles and the like, even he hadn’t dared go forth and lecture the whole lot of them for their unethical behavior, as it seemed Lan Qiren had been planning to do. Whatever happened, it would make for an interesting story, even if Lan Qiren was almost certain to tell it in the dullest way possible; he was the sort of person to treat miracles as commonplace.

Anyway, Wen Ruohan had his own news to share. The matter with Qingheng-jun…

No, he wasn’t going to think about that at the moment. Nothing was going to spoil his reunion with Lan Qiren, not even his own sulking.

His own bad mood, he meant. Not sulking. Because he wasn’t sulking.

And then Lan Qiren walked in, healthy and here, and Wen Ruohan really wasn’t sulking any longer.

“You’re back,” he said, unable to hide his pleasure.

“And you are well,” Lan Qiren said, looking visibly relieved – and notably more powerful than the last time Wen Ruohan had seen him.

Not literally glowing, the way he had immediately after their dual cultivation, so filled with spiritual energy that his skin had seemed almost luminescent, but nevertheless genuinely more powerful, in a solid and stable sort of fashion. He’d somehow managed to assimilate all the power they had generated into his golden core, rather than using it up or needing to break it down over time.

Very impressive.

Not that he would ever be anything less.

“Of course I’m well,” Wen Ruohan said, arrogant as always, and enjoyed how his self-aggrandizement only made Lan Qiren look amused. “Are you implying that you doubt my skills…?”

Lan Qiren snorted, the tension flowing out of his shoulders: it seemed he really had been worried, which might have been genuinely annoying if the battle hadn’t actually been quite difficult. “Merely your communication skills,” he said, his amusement settling into simple contentment. “You sent an urgent summons, so I thought something might have happened. You could have clarified in your missive.”

If Wen Ruohan had clarified, Lan Qiren might not have arrived so quickly. Though perhaps Wen Ruohan could see to it that next time, in his benevolence, he would include a small note confirming his well-being, if only because it would spare Lan Qiren some unnecessary panic.

Provided that Lan Qiren properly appreciated him for doing so, of course. He had ideas on how.

“I am nevertheless quite pleased to see you alive and well, even if it is no more than I had expected. Obviously I would never have left you to manage alone if I had had any actual concern,” Lan Qiren said, which was a very nice balm for Wen Ruohan’s ego. “What ended up happening in the end? Is my brother…?”

Wen Ruohan grimaced, his poor mood immediately rushing back to him at the reminder.

“He’s alive, unfortunately,” he said, lips twisting in disgust. “He surrendered, right at the very end before I could finish him off. He even had the gall to mock me for my restraint, knowing that I would not execute a prisoner on your behalf without a fair trial. I had to entrust him to Lao Nie just to keep from employing further violence…!”

He trailed off. Lan Qiren was smiling warmly at him, approval written in every line of him.

It was worth every single one of Qingheng-jun’s smirks.

“I assume that that approach meets with your approval,” he added haughtily, fishing for compliments. “Naturally I would have had no such restraint if it were up to me, especially since we both know that it will be easier to keep his misconduct secret if he is already dead. But I know you have scruples, and will undoubtedly insist on having all the relevant accoutrements…”

“A trial is not an accoutrement,” Lan Qiren said, but he was still smiling. “It may make things more difficult, I admit, but what will be will be; we will find a way through. You did very well.”

Wen Ruohan preened. Of course he had.

“I will be expecting an appropriate reward, of course,” he said, which made Lan Qiren laugh.

“Of course, that is only natural,” Lan Qiren agreed. “Positive reinforcement is a critical part of pedagogy. It is only reasonable that good behavior deserves a commensurate reward, and I intend to reward you thoroughly.”

Wen Ruohan smirked. “I should hope that you’re not using this particular type of positive reinforcement with any of your other students.”

Lan Qiren gave him an admonishing look, though the fondness he couldn’t conceal undercut the severity of it. “Do not be vulgar. Do I need to turn you over my knee again?”

Wen Ruohan wouldn’t mind.

In fact, he itched to take Lan Qiren to bed right away, forgetting everything else. Lan Qiren had come straight to him, not even having washed the (metaphorical, given Lan sect robes) dust of the road off his boots. He had not eaten, had not rested, had not deviated in the slightest, as if he was just as desperate to see Wen Ruohan as Wen Ruohan had been to see him.

It was immensely gratifying.

He wanted…but there would be time enough for that later, when Lan Qiren had had some time to recover and would be able to perform at his best.

“Tell me first about your visit to the Cloud Recesses,” he said, and Lan Qiren’s expression somehow managed to get even more approving. “I can already see that you had the opportunity to consolidate all that spiritual energy. I take it everything went well?”

“Very well. Better than expected, even.”

He then relayed the story, which turned out to involve a formal ethics debate – only in Gusu Lan, really, what unbelievable weirdos – and some really rather fascinating bits of information about what had happened in the past with Qingheng-jun and his unfortunate wife, as well as the ultimate result and disposition of events.

“Do you think Lan Zhengquan will be executed?” Wen Ruohan asked, mildly curious. “Or merely confined involuntarily?”

“Involuntary confinement is not ‘merely’ anything. But, in answer to your question – yes, in this instance, I believe it is likely that he will be executed following a proper, if confidential, trial. I may disagree with everything Lan Zhengquan has done, up to and including the justifications he put together for his behavior and that of his brother ten years ago, but I will not deny that he has the courage of his convictions. If he remains unwilling to abandon those justifications even in light of the evidence and final judgment against him, he is within his rights to demand an execution, which will be carried out at an appropriate location outside of the Cloud Recesses.”

“A pity.”

Lan Qiren arched his eyebrows. “I agree with the sentiment, but for whatever strange reason I suspect our regret comes from different sources. I regret the loss of life, and the loss of the wisdom, experience, and advice that Lan Zhengquan would have provided the sect, should he instead have been able to accept correction, sincerely repent, and live on. Whereas you…?”

Such sentimental tripe was most certainly not Wen Ruohan’s concern.

“It would have been more narratively satisfying if he suffered the same fate as your sister-in-law,” he explained, and Lan Qiren snorted. “What? It would have been. From what you say, he was the one who led the charge in favor of executing her back then, which is what caused your brother to save her life by marrying her, converting the sentence from execution to imprisonment. For him now to suffer imprisonment in the same manner would be an especially meet application of justice. You could have even put him in the same house!”

“Luckily, Gusu Lan does not determine its punishments by what would be narratively satisfying,” Lan Qiren said sternly. “And now I am clearly going to have to conduct a review to ensure that the Nightless City does not do so, either.”

Wen Ruohan would have complained, but in all truth the Nightless City’s justice system could probably stand to be reviewed, and he couldn’t think of anyone better to do it.

He shrugged in implicit consent, and changed the subject: “What about your sect elders? Was it entirely wise to leave them to debate the matter of their own punishment themselves? He who suffers the penalty ought not impose it, after all.”

“I have confidence that they will choose to do the right thing. And if they do not, I will go back and have further words with them.”

Wen Ruohan sniffed disdainfully. “It seems to me that you have already committed to going back already in order to evaluate their proposed solution anyway. Already planning trips without even consulting me…! How rude of you, Qiren. Whatever happened to ‘be attentive to your wife’s needs’…?”

“Would you be satisfied if I promised that by the time I was done with you, you would not want to lay eyes on me for the duration of my absence?”

That sounded amazing.

“At any rate, even if I return, I do not plan to be gone for very long,” Lan Qiren said, and that satisfied Wen Ruohan even more. “Even in this instance, I will admit that your summons came at a timely moment to excuse me from the debate, which was likely to be interminable.”

“And here I thought that interminable debates were what your Gusu Lan sect did best.” Wen Ruohan chuckled at Lan Qiren’s long-suffering expression. “Very well, I will be benevolent and lend you to them – briefly – to ensure that they do the right thing.”

“You do not need to pretend in front of me,” Lan Qiren said, now even more long-suffering. “You are tremendously excited by the possibility that they will carry through on their suggestion that they all resign and leave me to manage or at minimum advise on the management of the sect from the Nightless City, thereby putting it into your control.”

Wen Ruohan grinned. He wasn’t going to lie: they were definitely going to fuck about this later. “What can I say?” he drawled. “My husband gets me the best gifts.”

“On that subject,” Lan Qiren said, eyes narrowing, “an incident arose while I was at the Cloud Recesses…”

“Did they encourage you to divorce me?”

“Not seriously – ” Which meant that they had? “– and that is not the issue in question. Have you at any point instructed your disciples to refer to me as Madam Wen?”

Wen Ruohan was not an idiot.

“Certainly not,” he lied. “I can’t imagine why they would ever do such a thing.”

Lan Qiren sighed, clearly spotting the lie and just as clearly having no idea what to do with it. “It is inappropriate,” he said. “I am your husband, not your wife, and that means I am not Madam Wen.”

“You can be my husband and Madam Wen,” Wen Ruohan argued. “It would be funnier that way.”

“It would be confusing that way. Enough people assume that I am the wife already simply because you are more powerful both personally and politically, and that it is without further linguistic snarls.”

That seemed less important than the potential for humor, at least for Wen Ruohan.

“How do you see the roles of husband and wife anyway?” he asked, belatedly curious. “You don’t seem to associate them with household tasks, with sexual positions, or with power dynamics, or for that matter, as far as I can determine, with anything else. What exactly do you see as constituting your role as the husband, as opposed to the wife?”

Lan Qiren looked surprised to be asked such a question. “There are any number of applicable rules,” he started, and Wen Ruohan rolled his eyes: of course there were. “However, to sum up the relevant duties, as the husband, it is my duty to make you happy: to love you as I love myself, to honor you more than myself, to seek to do everything in my power to see that your needs and wishes are fulfilled. In return, as my wife, you are bound to love and honor me, to be faithful to me, and to trust me, abiding by my wishes even when they may contradict your own.”

The Gusu Lan sect was insane, Wen Ruohan decided, not for the first time. What sort of ridiculous definitions of husband and wife were those? No one else put it like that! No one else even thought about it like that! What sort of monastery had Lan An come from, anyway…?

Though Wen Ruohan supposed, if one put it in those terms, then in fact that it really was more appropriate for him to be the wife. He wasn’t exactly very good at living up to ‘honor another more than yourself’ and never had been, and he was too self-absorbed to really care to spend all his time worrying about someone else’s needs, but he was certainly capable of love, respect, faith, and trust. Certainly he was the one who kept compromising his actions in order to accommodate Lan Qiren’s ridiculous notions of morality…not that doing so had impeded any of his ambitions to date.

On the contrary, with the Jin sect in his pocket, the Jiang sect heirs secure in the Nightless City, and the potential for Lan Qiren to keep his nephews there as well – an idea that had very obviously not yet arisen in Lan Qiren’s mind, but which Wen Ruohan fully intended to use to convince him that the Wen sect temporarily taking over Gusu Lan until said nephews were of age wasn’t that bad an idea – it seemed that listening to Lan Qiren was suiting him quite well indeed. How convenient that one of Wen Ruohan’s ‘needs and wishes’ that Lan Qiren was obligated to try to deliver happened to include taking over the cultivation world.

In fact, if Wen Ruohan could somehow find a way to maintain the status quo, he would have in a single season effectively conquered, in practice if not in fact, not one but three of the other Great Sects. The only one left outside his grasp was therefore just Qinghe Nie…

Ah. Right.

He’d almost forgotten.

If one thought about it in a certain light, he also stood a good chance of making an inroad into taking over Qinghe Nie, because the current sect leader of Qinghe Nie, Lao Nie, was – imminently going to die.

He could take advantage of that, if he wanted.

He could, Wen Ruohan insisted to himself, even as he was swept by a wave of revulsion towards himself at the mere thought; it was just a matter of politics, and things like that happened in politics. It wasn’t as though this were anything like what had happened with Wen Ruoyu, the betrayal of someone who trusted him. Lao Nie didn’t trust anyone, even when he loved them sincerely – and he did love him in his own way, Wen Ruohan did not doubt, only that it happened to be the wrong sort of love for what Wen Ruohan really wanted.

Betraying Lao Nie…would be more like what he’d done to his first wife.

That had been a mutual tragedy. Their needs and wants had been incompatible from the very start, but they’d made a go of it anyway, and when it had started falling apart, they had not managed their reactions well, each of them blaming each other, each of them justifying their own actions against each other, hurting each other, betraying each other, and in the end –

In the end they’d destroyed everything.

Wen Ruohan instinctively grimaced.

No, he couldn’t do that again. He would have to find another way. Perhaps Lan Qiren would be able to think of something –

Wait.

Lan Qiren.

Lan Qiren, who had no way to know that Wen Ruohan’s expression of disgust and revulsion had nothing to do with their current conversation!

“I was thinking of Lao Nie,” he blurted out, trying to explain, and then realized how badly that statement could be taken. They were right in the middle of discussion about their married life, and he’d started thinking about his former lover..!

“Yes, it was very fortunate that he was here to assist you,” Lan Qiren said, nodding with approval, apparently missing the more unfortunate set of implications entirely. “And convenient, since we wanted to speak with him anyway. Have you had an opportunity to discuss his condition? Or were you planning to wait until I was present?”

“I avoided it entirely,” Wen Ruohan said. He’d never been so relieved at Lan Qiren’s lack of understanding of innuendo. Do not give your wife reason to doubt your fidelity… “Do you think now is a good time? There is still the matter of your brother to deal with. They were friends, once, too.”

He wouldn’t mind putting off the conversation a little longer, personally.

“It will never be a good time,” Lan Qiren pointed out. “It may as well be now. Anyway, it is not as though we are going to him to offer our condolences, we are going to offer our help. Didn’t his sect doctors predict that he had ten years left? He is hardly at risk of immediate decline.”

You don’t know that! Wen Ruohan wanted to protest. Each qi deviation could be the one that takes him away, and the only way to stop it will be to solve a problem that generations upon generations of Qinghe Nie have failed to unravel. Lao Nie will never stop cultivating with his saber, will never give up his clan’s traditions, and ten years is not as long as you might think –

Though, on the other hand, I am a genius among geniuses. Lao Nie’s ancestors might have looked before, but they never had me on their side. Maybe it’s not so hopeless after all.

“We should go see him,” Lan Qiren said, either not noticing or perhaps politely ignoring whatever was happening on Wen Ruohan’s face. Knowing him, it was probably the former. “Particularly if he’s been forced to safeguard my brother, which must be emotionally taxing given the state of their relationship. Tell me, where is he now?”

Wen Ruohan was about to answer, only to realize he had no idea, having not particularly wanted to pay any attention to Qingheng-jun for any longer than it had taken to hand him over to Lao Nie in the first place. Qingheng-jun had spent the first part of the journey back to Jinlin Tower in a dignified silence, but as they’d drawn nearer, something had changed, and he had started talking about Lan Qiren again, clearly trying to goad Wen Ruohan into a response. Wen Ruohan hadn’t let him succeed, of course, but the temptation to find a tall window and shove him out of it without a sword had been very strong.

(Sometimes Wen Ruohan missed his Fire Palace. He hadn’t even dismantled it yet, though he intended to, and he already missed it. Not that he’d be dismantling all of it. There were always people that needed to be properly interrogated, and his machines would still serve quite well for that, even if they’d now go unused the majority of the time. It was only a pity that Qingheng-jun had nothing to say that anyone needed to hear. Certainly not Lan Qiren, that was for certain.)

“Easily found,” he said with an idle shrug, and went to the door of the room he’d been using as an office, waving over one of the disciples waiting outside. “Where is Lao Nie?”

The disciple saluted. “Sect Leader, he is just outside, in your courtyard.”

“In my courtyard?” Wen Ruohan asked, surprised that Lao Nie was so close by – and in such an unguarded location, too. Lao Nie was confident in his own abilities, and rightfully so, but for all of his rage, he was typically a surprisingly cautious fighter. Normally speaking, he would not take unnecessary risks. Keeping Qingheng-jun in an open courtyard seemed a dubious choice, and yet abandoning his duty to watch over him when he had promised to do so seemed – out of character.

Not yet, surely…!

Lan Qiren frowned. “That seems unlike him,” he observed, confirming Wen Ruohan’s sudden apprehension. “Let us go at once.”

When they went out to find him, Lao Nie was indeed there, sitting on a bench and cleaning his saber with all apparent ease, seeming as though he did not have a care in the world.

Qingheng-jun…was nowhere in sight.

Wen Ruohan felt his eye twitch. “Lao Nie!” he bellowed. “What are you doing?”

Lao Nie paused in what he was doing.

Then, he very exaggeratedly looked down at his saber and the cleaning cloth in his hand, then up at the two of them. “Come on, Hanhan,” he said, opening his eyes excessively wide. “I know for a fact that it hasn’t been that long since you handled a weapon. Aren’t you married now?”

Wen Ruohan had been gearing up to shout at him, but, as so often happened, Lao Nie’s humor cut his anger off at the knees. It was impossible to remain properly angry when you were fighting off laughter, which made Lao Nie’s approach to dealing with Wen Ruohan’s anger simultaneously devastatingly effective and also incredibly irritating.

Also, Lao Nie was perfectly aware that Wen Ruohan had actually used his sword to fight against Qingheng-jun. More recently than he’d had the chance to take advantage of Lan Qiren’s ‘sword,’ too, tragic and in need of quick remedying as that was…

“That was not the purpose behind his question and you know it,” Lan Qiren said mildly. “Hello, Lao Nie. What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you two,” Lao Nie said, immediately actually answering the virtually identical question in what seemed like a thoroughly unfair display of blatant favoritism. “One of the Wen sect disciples said they saw you arrive, Qiren, and go to talk to Hanhan. So I came here to wait until you were done.”

That answer was all well and good, quite reasonable, everything in order, except for one critical point.

“Shouldn’t you be watching Qingheng-jun?” Wen Ruohan asked.

Lao Nie shrugged. “No need.”

“No need?” Wen Ruohan scowled at him, annoyed all over again. “Lao Nie, did you not hear me earlier? I wanted you to watch him, because I didn’t trust that he wouldn’t find a way out if the only ones guarding him were my disciples. Or yours, for that matter! He’s tricky and resourceful, even if he’s been disarmed. Who knows what trouble he’s gotten into already – ”

“He won’t be getting into any trouble,” Lao Nie said. “He’s dead.”

Wen Ruohan was about to retort with something devastatingly clever and cutting, likely about the importance of living up to responsibilities and one’s given word, but then whatever he had been about to say entirely dropped out of his mind as Lao Nie’s words entered it.

“I’m sorry,” he said blankly. “He’s what?!”

“Lao Nie, did you just say that he was dead?” Lan Qiren asked, frowning. “My brother? Dead?”

“My condolences, Qiren,” Lao Nie said, sounding completely genuine and sincere and also immensely missing the point. “Really. I know you two weren’t close, and that by the end you probably pretty much hated each other, but he was still your brother. You have my sympathies for the loss of what you could have had, if not for what you did.”

“Thank you,” Lan Qiren said. He sounded extremely polite, and extremely confused, the latter being a feeling which Wen Ruohan shared in its entirety. “I appreciate your consideration. Putting that aside, could you perhaps explain what happened, exactly? My brother is dead? How did he suddenly die?”

Wen Ruohan rather wanted to know that himself, especially since Qingheng-jun had been in perfectly reasonable condition when he’d delivered him into Lao Nie’s custody.

But then, how…?

“He killed himself,” Lao Nie said. His face was as casual and composed as if he were relaying the weather, rather than telling a bald-faced lie.

It was absolutely impossible that Qingheng-jun had decided to commit suicide.

As far as Wen Ruohan knew, the man had refused that particular route twice already, first in refusing to actively kill himself in the immediate aftermath of realizing he had murdered his wife, and second in refusing to passively permit Wen Ruohan to kill him. Even his last-moment surrender had been a deliberate ploy designed to extend his life, giving up even his dignity to do so. His dignity, his revenge, his pride…no, Qingheng-jun had been defiant and bitter to the last, blaming others and Lan Qiren in particular for all of his misfortunes.

For him to suddenly turn around and die by his own hand now, after everything – no, it was impossible. Absolutely impossible!

“Oh, suicide, really,” Wen Ruohan said, snide and incredulous. “Really, you don’t say. Tell me, if he killed himself, how exactly did he manage it? I disarmed him myself, so I know for a fact that he didn’t have access to his sword…”

“He used my saber,” Lao Nie said.

Wen Ruohan stared at him.

Lan Qiren stared at him.

Lao Nie…

Lao Nie’s lips twitched.

“Your saber,” Lan Qiren said slowly. “Your saber. Your spiritual weapon, which you entrust to no one, and which obeys only you. The saber that can, if it wishes, quite literally bite its wielder if it dislikes who is holding it. We are speaking of – that saber?”

Wen Ruohan hadn’t known about the biting thing. Was that really a thing? That seemed quite useful… Wait. When exactly did Lan Qiren have the chance to hold Lao Nie’s saber long enough to find that out?! Lao Nie hadn’t even given it to Wen Ruohan to hold!

Well, that was probably good thinking on his part. But that wasn’t the point.

“That’s the one,” Lao Nie said, sounding almost cheerful, or at least as though he were having a fair amount of fun watching their expressions, which he almost certainly was. “Good old Jiwei.”

Wen Ruohan thought, not for the first time, of how good it would feel to punch Lao Nie in the face. Just once. Once, but very hard.

Based on Lan Qiren’s expression at the moment, he might be amenable.

“Let me make sure I understand what you are saying,” Lan Qiren said, looking as though he were summoning all of his many years of emotional regulation to try to keep himself calm. “You are saying that my brother somehow managed to get hold of your saber and used it to end his own life. Is that what you are saying?”

“Not quite,” Lao Nie said, holding up his hands. “I’m saying that he killed himself, and also that if you have a doctor examine his body, you’ll find that the cause of his death was my saber.”

“Lao Nie,” Wen Ruohan hissed, finding himself appalled despite everything, up to and including his own deep and sincere desire to see Qingheng-jun dead. “What is wrong with you? Are you suggesting that he killed himself by walking into your saber?!”

Lao Nie snickered.

He actually snickered.

“Lao Nie!” Wen Ruohan shouted. “You said you were going to help!”

Lao Nie’s smile abruptly faded away. “I did help.”

“Lao Nie – ”

“Hanhan, you sometimes forget this – in fact, you often forget this – but I am not actually one of your subordinates,” Lao Nie interrupted, his expression unusually solemn. “I don’t follow your orders, and I apply my own principles to the situations I find myself in, not yours. I appreciate that you and Lan Qiren have decided that you don’t want to kill unarmed prisoners that have surrendered, particularly not without a trial, which is quite correct of you. I understand your reasoning in applying that principle even to Qingheng-jun, even when his sole reason to stay alive is to cause further harm, and if it were under any other circumstances, I’d respect it.”

Wen Ruohan was left speechless.

Lan Qiren merely pressed his lips together. “What circumstances do you mean?”

“Only this,” Lao Nie said. “That there is no greater good than showing kindness to a madman, once he has passed the point of no return.”

Ah.

That was –

That made more sense.

Given the Nie sect’s history – their traditions, their qi deviations, their ancestral madness – given what Lao Nie himself had so recently discovered about himself, about his own fate, his own imminent fate –

For a sudden moment, Wen Ruohan found himself unable to breathe.

“Oh,” Lao Nie said, watching whatever was happening on his face. “You know. I see. How?”

“Your son told us,” Lan Qiren said. “Nie Mingjue. He’s a good boy.”

Lao Nie laughed and shook his head. “Yes, he is,” he said fondly. “A very good boy – though where he got those ridiculous morals, I don’t know. He’s as inflexible as you, Qiren, in his own way. Anyway, you both don’t need to look so upset. It’s fine.”

“It is most certainly not fine,” Wen Ruohan said at once.

“Well, no, it’s not,” Lao Nie conceded. “But there’s nothing to be done about it. It’s as inevitable, as sure as the dawn.”

Wen Ruohan had heard that before, though under circumstances that had meant much less to him personally. Cangse Sanren had said something similar, equally resigned, talking about that big scary beast that was coming to tear her limb from limb, and she’d been just as certain of her immovable fate as Lao Nie was about his.

“It’s inevitable, so there’s no point in worrying about it now, is that it?” he asked with a sneer. “That’s ridiculous.”

“I didn’t say that,” Lao Nie protested.

“You meant it,” Lan Qiren pointed out, and Lao Nie, caught out, smiled ruefully. “Lao Nie, we are only saying that we wish to help – ”

“And I’m saying that it’s pointless. Don’t you think we’ve tried? My family, going back generations, we’ve all tried our best to stop it. We can’t. Once it starts, there’s nothing you can do about it – ”

If there was one thing Wen Ruohan hated in this life, perhaps even above betrayal, it was being told that there was something he couldn’t do.

He was Wen Ruohan. He had spent his whole life laughing in the face of those that underestimated him, those that challenged or disdained him, and now all those people were long dead and forgotten. These days, there was no one alive who underestimated him, no one who thought that they could tell him what he couldn’t do. He had defied even the heavens themselves, perfecting his cultivation and breaking the limits of the human lifespan, living beyond the usual expectations even for a cultivator, and he was still as hale as he had ever been. Soon enough, with Lan Qiren’s help, he would undoubtedly even break through the barrier that separated god from man, and become divine.

And Lao Nie had the gall to say that there was nothing he could do about it?

Wen Ruohan was not going to take that lying down. It was the most disrespectful thing he had had someone say to him in – well, admittedly, since Cangse Sanren, which wasn’t that long ago, and Lan Qiren wasn’t exactly all that respectful either, though in a way Wen Ruohan enjoyed rather a great deal.

No: ancestral Nie sect mystery or not, he was going to find a way to fix it. At a minimum, he was going to find a way to buy some time, to prevent any further decline and forestall death, and he wasn’t going to let anyone, not even Lao Nie, get in his way.

Lao Nie was just going to have to live with that.

Admittedly, at this precise moment, he looked particularly unwilling to accept that conclusion, that stubborn mule-headed Qinghe Nie look fixed firmly on his face even as he argued, rather unwisely, with Lan Qiren. As if Lan Qiren, just fresh off winning a battle of words with his entire sect, was going to let him win this one, particularly when Lao Nie’s arguments seemed to mostly revolve around the same basic point.

“It’s inevitable,” he said, dragging out the sound. “In-ev-it-a-ble. Why are you and Hanhan having such trouble with that concept? There are things in this life that we can change, Qiren, and there are things we can’t, and this is one of the latter. It’s as inevitable as the dawn, as sure as sunrise – ”

There was that phrase again, the one Cangse Sanren had used to describe her own doom. It was irritating to be surrounded by stubborn people convinced they were about to die, Lao Nie to rage and a qi deviation, Cangse Sanren to that future beast. A pity it wasn’t the other way around! There was no one better for defeating a beast than one of Qinghe Nie, descendants of butchers that they were, and Cangse Sanren seemed almost immune to the ravages of rage, forgetting each moment what happened in the previous one. Possibly that was even literal for her, given her idiosyncratic understanding of time, a remnant perhaps of living on a celestial mountain with an immortal…

Hm.

Now that was an idea.

“I am not giving up,” Lao Nie said impatiently, while Lan Qiren frowned and shook his head at him. “Don’t put it that way, it sounds bad. It’s not the same thing at all! I am just trying to be realistic. It would foolish to ignore facts and fail to adequately prepare myself, my sons, and my sect for what is going to happen – ”

“As foolish as refusing to accept help in the event that the preparations you make need not apply?”

“Damnit, Qiren, stop talking circles around me.”

“Stop being wrong first.”

Lao Nie gaped at him, then cackled. “I like this version of you,” he said. “Hanhan’s a surprisingly good influence on you, which I admit I wouldn’t have predicted.”

“We are Dao companions,” Lan Qiren said impatiently. “Naturally we mutually improve each other. Do not change the subject.”

“Qiren…”

“Lao Nie, there are things that a man may choose to face on his own. I have never denied that. If you truly deny us, we will desist – ”

Maybe Lan Qiren would.

“– but just as you are our friend, we are your friends, and we wish to help you. Would you deny us that chance?”

Oh, that was a good argument, particularly for someone like Lao Nie, and Wen Ruohan could see the exact moment Lao Nie’s resistance cracked under the weight of Lan Qiren’s earnest sincerity.

“Oh, all right,” Lao Nie grumbled, scrubbing his face and letting out a lengthy sigh. “I suppose I wouldn’t. Fine. Whatever. You can go ahead and bash your brains against the problem for a bit, if that’s what you really want…but Qiren, please understand and prepare yourself, this is something my sect has been trying to solve for a very long time. It is entirely possible, even likely, that in the end, the only help you will be able to give me is the sort of help I provided your brother.”

Lan Qiren’s stern expression softened. “I understand. But thank you for letting us try.”

“In fact, I’ve got an idea,” Wen Ruohan announced, and grinned when they both looked at him. “Well, the beginning of one, anyway. Qiren’s right, there are many benefits to taking a problem and making it someone else’s.”

“I don’t know if I like the sound of that,” Lao Nie remarked, his eyes narrowing a little in suspicion. “Hanhan…”

“You need not be concerned,” Lan Qiren told him firmly. “Any idea he has, I will first approve. Or are you saying you do not trust in my good faith?”

“…fair point. All right, I retract my doubts.”

Wen Ruohan scowled. “Lao Nie – ”

Lao Nie pointed at him. “You have a torture palace.”

“What does that have to do with anything?!”

Now they were both looking at him with indulgent expressions that suggested he already knew the answer to that.

Possibly he did.

“I’ve already planned to repurpose the majority of it,” Wen Ruohan said defensively. “I do not require it as much, any longer.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Hanhan,” Lao Nie said warmly, and in the face of his own straightforward sincerity Wen Ruohan found that he had trouble maintaining his anger. “Really, you have no idea how happy it makes me that you’ve finally found your way out…but also, I’ll believe it when I see it.”

That was fair.

“You know, we never did get the chance to talk at the Lotus Pier discussion conference that wasn’t,” Lao Nie mused. “I wanted to hear all about how the two of you managed to fall in love – and I still do, for that matter.”

“We got married,” Lan Qiren said, as if that answered the question.

“…I’m going to redirect the question to Hanhan,” Lao Nie said dryly, clearly agreeing with Wen Ruohan on the blatant insufficiency of Lan Qiren’s answer. “Actually, while we’re at it, how did you end up proposing marriage to Qiren anyway? I didn’t even think you liked him.”

“Mm, I didn’t. It takes a truly great man to see what he has overlooked and correct his own errors, but luckily – ”

“He wanted to use me to take over the cultivation world,” Lan Qiren said with a sigh, pointedly ignoring Wen Ruohan’s bragging. “Through my students, of all things. I still think the whole notion is utterly ridiculous.”

Lao Nie’s expression went abruptly thoughtful in a way that suggested that he certainly didn’t think the idea was all that ridiculous. A moment later he grinned.

“Well, Qiren, you have to admit that putting aside the students, it didn’t work out that badly for him.”

“He has not taken over the cultivation world.”

“If you pay a little attention, actually, you’ll find that I have,” Wen Ruohan said smugly. “Or at least considerable portions of it.”

“Don’t look so pleased with yourself, Hanhan,” Lao Nie said, even as Lan Qiren looked as if he were hunting for some way to refute the irrefutable. “Don’t forget: whether you rule the world or not, you still have to clear everything you do with Qiren first!”

“That is not the situation,” Lan Qiren insisted. “He has not taken over the world – Lao Nie – stop smirking at me, you intolerable annoyance – ”

Wen Ruohan tuned them both out as he considered what Lao Nie had said. Whatever Lan Qiren’s denials, it had to be admitted that Wen Ruohan’s influence now extended well into the other Great Sects, which had previously been inviolable, with a few omissions, but equally it had to be admitted that this wasn’t exactly the tyrannical dictatorship he’d always envisioned for himself when thinking about the day that his Wen sect eventually took over.

He hadn’t counted on Lan Qiren being there, for one. And even if he had, he would never have assumed that he would voluntarily bind himself to following Lan Qiren’s ridiculously strict morality, even when the man himself was not present to object – except he had, hadn’t he? The way he had dealt with Qingheng-jun…that wasn’t a mere aberration, an outlier, a favor he’d been doing for Lan Qiren. He’d done the right thing because he knew Lan Qiren would want him to.

If he wanted to keep Lan Qiren, Wen Ruohan was going to have to do that about everything.

It was going to be a gigantic pain.

But on the other hand, he did rule the world now.

Ah, whatever. If that’s the trade – I’ll take it!

Wen Ruohan reached out and, ignoring Lao Nie’s presence, pulled Lan Qiren into a kiss.

Lan Qiren –

Well, Lan Qiren kicked him.

“Inappropriate!” he spluttered. “We’re in front of company! Keep your hands to yourself!”

“Don’t hold back on my account,” Lao Nie murmured appreciatively. “On the contrary…”

“Absolutely not,” Lan Qiren said. Firmly.

“But –”

“No.”

“Hanhan –”

“Also no,” Wen Ruohan said, and watched with interest as Lao Nie blinked, absorbing that, and then, after a moment, shrugged it off, just as he did anything else. It probably ought to have hurt to see him simply shrug off a relationship that had lasted over a decade just like that, but…well, that was Lao Nie, heartless and careless. That was the real Lao Nie, the way he ought to be.

And Wen Ruohan…well, Wen Ruohan had Lan Qiren, and he was far better off for it.

“Fine, then,” Lao Nie said. “That means I can go back and find that dragon –”

“Lao Nie!” Lan Qiren howled. “You are not, and I mean absolutely not, going to go find and – ”

Wen Ruohan started laughing.

This was going to be good.

----

A/N: and that's it! next chapter is the epilogue :) thanks to everyone for reading!

#mdzs #lan qiren #wen ruohan #sect leader nie #my fic #my fics #Megafic

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raccoon-eyed-rebel · 1 year

Text

Under Orders - Part 1

Masterlist

Part 1 🔹Part 2🔹Part 3🔹Part 4🔹Part 5

Pairing: softDom!August x reader (Described Marshall x reader)

Summary: August comes home after a business trip, only to find out his princess is under some highly inconvenient orders...

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: NSFW, SMUT, 18+, MINORS DNI, BDSM, D/s dynamic (technically D/s/D), praise kink, bondage, oral (m receiving), (first time) anal sex (toys, fingering, p-in-a) (f receiving) (unprotected), slight hurt/comfort, use of pet names/titles (Daddy, Sir, princess, kitten, sweetheart and darling), established relationship, extra light dacryphilia, extra extra light spanking. Also check-ins and aftercare... And as pointed out by a helpful Anon; degradation/name-calling (slut/whore (affectionate))

A/N: Inspired by this little treasure.

I was initially planning on keeping this a oneshot, but if anyone's up for a part 2 of this, be sure to let me know! (Am I publicly begging for reblogs and comments now? You bet your ass I am!) We're doing a little soft!August because anal is serious business and I'm a masochist as much as the next person, but... lube and patience, please.

@geralts-yenn @deandoesthingstome @keanureevesisbae @fvckinghenrycavill (I know you didn't ask to be tagged but I thought you might be interested 🙊 *nervous laughter*)

Anyway: loads of smut under the cut

You check your phone for the time as you wait in the hallway – on your knees, the way you know he expects to find you when he comes home. Sometimes, you pretend to forget, because you know it riles him up, but today you already have some bad news for him, so you’re not taking any chances. The door opens shortly after you put your phone down. Hands on knees, eyes down.

“Welcome home, Daddy,” you say softly. Daddy, he earned the name in the heat of the moment, when it just slipped out of you when he was… you don’t even remember what exactly he was doing, but you know it hurt, and that you probably deserved it. The title stuck – it goes nicely with the nicknames he uses for you and the way he takes care of you, protects you... August raises an eyebrow when he hears your greeting.

“What’s the matter, kitten?” His voice is restrained, as if he knows what’s going on. He probably has a very decent hunch: he always does. It’s what he gets paid to do at work.

“Sir has given me orders, Daddy, and he left a message for you on the kitchen table.” Your voice is even weaker now, and you’re squirming. It doesn’t escape August’s attention that you’re uncomfortable.

“Stay here, darling,” he orders. It sounds sweet, but it definitely isn’t up for negotiation. You won’t make that mistake again.

August makes his way to the kitchen, frustration seeping through in the way he walks. There’s a box on the table, which contains a butt plug – or rather: contained, seeing as the box is empty. It doesn’t take August three guesses to know where he left it. He swears under his breath as he paces back to the hallway and looks down on you.

“What were his orders, kitten?” he asks. “And look at me when I speak to you.”

“I…” You turn your eyes away from him again, but he grabs your chin and pulls it up.

“Speak up, sweetheart,” he says softly. He isn’t mad. Not yet, anyway.

“Sir said I’m not allowed to touch myself until the next time I see him,” you say. Your voice is more stern now that he’s ordered you to speak up, but that doesn’t mean it’s any easier to say it.

“Are you sure those were his words, kitten?” His voice is incredibly sweet, and he emphasizes his words in such a way that you immediately realize he wants to hear the exact words, so you shake your head in reply to his question. “Don’t lie to Daddy, sweetheart.” Shit, that’s definitely strike one. You can’t always accurately predict how many of those you get before you’re in serious trouble, but it’s usually three. He seems to be in a sour mood, so it’s probably more likely to be two.

“Sir said I’m not allowed to touch my pussy until I see him again,” you correct yourself, voice louder than you anticipated you’d manage.

“Did he, now?” You know that tone – so does the rest of your body. Unconsciously, your walls clench around nothing, reminding you of the past afternoon. It makes you squirm again, but you’re under orders, and therefore can’t do anything about it.

“Sir also gave me something special to wear for you,” you whisper, “that I had to show you…”

“Go to the bedroom and get ready for me, then, kitten,” August says. There is a hint of curiosity in his eyes, but another edge to his look that tells you he has a very good idea of what he can expect.

As you go upstairs, August goes into the kitchen and fixes himself a drink. He doesn’t usually regret his idea to share you with his old college roommate – in fact, he usually loves finding ways to play with you while sticking to the rules that you’ve been given and putting you under orders is definitely more fun when he knows his friend will have to get creative, too – but today is different. August quickly dials a number and holds his phone up to his ear.

“Walker,” the voice on the other side of the line says. August can picture the man grinning ear to ear, knowing why he’s calling. “I was expecting your call.”

“Yeah,” August says gruffly, “care to rethink your policy, Marshall?”

“No chance in hell, Walker, have fun.” And with those words, the bastard just hangs up on him. Walter Marshall knows all too well that August’s favorite pastime when coming home from a work trip, is to watch his pretty girl – their pretty girl – play with herself, and now that isn’t happening, thanks to him. August doesn’t doubt that Walter is very pleased with himself, and it makes him livid.

In the beginning of this agreement , the guys would allow it to turn into a bit of a pissing contest between them, trying desperately to frustrate the other as much as possible. You had put an end to that pretty quickly, saying you were more than happy to be their little toy, but you weren’t going to accept that at the expense of every last bit of your own pleasure. They’d both had to admit they had each been going out of their way to make each other’s lives miserable, when they had put the arrangement in place to both enjoy you – and you them. What’s happening now isn’t technically against the rules the three of you put in place, but it’s a frustratingly clever way around it. That being said, they’re still allowed to pester each other from time to time, even at your expense, but never in terms of what can’t be done to you. They’re in charge of you, not each other.

August finds you kneeling in front of the bed wearing nothing – unless you count the intricate collection of rope and knots that run over your body as ‘wearing something’. He takes a moment to admire Marshall’s handiwork before walking over to you.

“Hello my darling,” he says as he gently traces his fingers up your back, “you’re very pretty like this.” His words make your cheeks glow, and you unconsciously clench your thighs. It’s almost enough to make you forget the pain you feel in the few places where the rope scrapes your skin uncomfortably.

“Do you like it, sweetheart?” he asks, still caressing your back, slowly moving to your sides. You squirm as he touches you. There is a hint of concern to his voice. He isn’t here to spank you senseless or fuck you until you can’t walk – not that he won’t, but it isn’t his primary concern. He’s here to look after you, to take care of you when you need him to, and right now, he’s worried you look a little too uncomfortable.

“Yes, Daddy,” you say softly. You’re now moaning as you speak, not from pleasure or even pleasure through pain, but purely out of discomfort.

“Darling, are you hurt?” He already expected you to shake your head the way you do. He knows you well enough to realize you can be stubborn – too stubborn for your own good, mostly. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s had to intervene because you were putting your safety on the line, just because you didn’t want to admit something hurt.

“Sweetheart, what did Sir tell you about these?” August lightly traces the ropes on your body. “And don’t lie to me, now.”

“Sir said to take them off if they became uncomfortable,” you say barely audibly.

“And why did you not listen to him?”

“I wanted to show you, Daddy,” you reply, “and everything went fine, but then you said you were going to be home a bit later, and… I didn’t want to give up.” It’s the truth – he knows it is – but that doesn't make it any better. You should have known better than to put your safety – or at least your comfort – at risk like this, especially while you were home by yourself. Your bottom lip trembles.

“I’ll let him know you went against his orders,” August says. His voice is calm yet stern, and he begins to untie you, pausing for a moment when he sees the mess you’ve made of the rope that was tied between your legs. His words are a promise that he isn’t going to deal with your disobedience tonight – he’ll leave that to Marshall. After all, it was his order you disobeyed. You’re not quite sure if that’s the better option. The easing of the rope against your skin feels good, but it also makes you more aware of just how uncomfortable you have been the past half hour. It takes him a few minutes to take the entire thing apart.

When he’s done, he gently massages your sore muscles and skin, while looking for marks, bruises, abrasions, any kind of serious damage to your skin – he’s glad he doesn’t find any, just some superficial signs of chafing. You whine and groan as his hands move over your body – half of your cries being from the relief his touch brings, the other half in pain. August slowly works his way down your back until he arrives at your ass. You can hear the chuckle that escapes him when he sees you. His hunch from earlier was right; the plug that wasn’t in its box on the kitchen table is currently serving its intended purpose. It’s something he’s considered before, but he has never actually taken any steps to make it happen. Apparently, Marshall was less patient than him– not that August hadn’t always known that.

“And how does this feel, princess?” August gently taps the base of the plug to let you know what he means – not that you weren’t able to guess. You gasp when he does it – finally a sound that’s filled with nothing but genuine pleasure – and wiggle your ass in response, knowing very well that that won’t suffice. August’s hand lands on your behind lightly, but it’s enough to send shivers down your spine. Your core has been on fire ever since Walter tied you up, and feeling August’s hands on your skin isn’t making it any better.

“Use your words, kitten,” he says as he spanks the other side of your ass. The noise you make is almost a chuckle, which makes August smile.

“It feels good, Daddy,” you say shyly. You’d been a little nervous when Marshall mentioned trying anal play earlier this week. It was always a soft limit for you, and you trust him, so you’d agreed. Now, barely five days later, that plug is your new favorite toy, and you whine when August slowly pulls it out.

“Has Sir done anything else to your perfect little ass, sweetheart?” August asks as he runs his fingers through your soaked folds. The rules said nothing about him not being allowed to touch your pussy, and he’s planning on putting this natural lubricant to good use. You whine as he pushes two fingers into you without a problem, slicking them up with your arousal. Thanks to the preparation with the plug, he slips one finger into your ass with ease, and you moan as he starts moving it in and out of your tight hole. He doesn’t need an answer, per se, your reaction is more than enough to tell him that nothing has happened beyond what he’s doing to you now, but he demands one from you regardless.

“No, Daddy,” you say timidly, a tinge of excitement in your voice as you realize what that probably means for the rest of your night. August chuckles. Marshall may have taken his favorite show from him, but he left him a potentially very lovely night of firsts. It’s more than a fair trade, honestly. You moan when August withdraws his finger, looking over your shoulder questioningly. You’re almost pouting, but you remind yourself just in time that August doesn’t like it when you do that. Good girls don’t pout when they want something, they ask - nicely.

“What is it, kitten?” It’s both a question and a warning, and you exhale sharply in relief that you didn’t give him the desperate look you were initially planning to.

“Please don’t stop,” you say softly. Your voice trembles lightly, mostly with excitement, but partially with nerves. The bad mood he was in previously seems to have turned around nicely, but that doesn’t always mean he’ll heed your requests, although he did seem rather excited about the little anal experiment Marshall started earlier today.

“Get on the bed,” he orders as he takes his shirt off. You do as he tells you and wait patiently, not expecting him to join you, lying down, moving you so you’re on your knees next to him. One of his hands reaches for your chin and pulls you closer to him.

“Can I get a kiss, princess?” You know better than to refuse him – not that you would ever want to – so you lean forward until your lips touch his. You don’t expect him to pull you against him completely, but it’s a nice surprise. For a delicious moment, you snuggle into his side, relishing the feeling of his lips against yours, tongues sliding past one another and his teeth grazing at your lips. You moan each time he gently bites down on your bottom lip. He pulls you a bit further on top of him, your legs now on either side of one of his thighs, and gently strokes your skin along the path that was recently occupied by the ropes. The kiss is amazing, especially since you’ve had to miss him for a whole week and when you shift slightly and his thigh provides a bit of that exquisite friction against your clit, you can’t resist the temptation. Your hips grind against his leg longingly and for a moment, you forget everything except you and August – only to be reminded by two sharp smacks on your ass that, unfortunately, reality is a thing, and in this reality you’ve been told not to do what you started doing.

“You’re smart enough to know that counts as touching, kitten.” August laughs as he says it while his fingers dig into your hips, holding them firmly in place so you can’t move them anymore. You whisper an apology before you curl up against his chest. You’ve missed being in his arms, although it was nice to have Marshall around for five days. A part of you hopes the three of you will spend a night together again soon, but you haven’t had the courage to ask either one of them if they’d be up for that.

“I’ve missed you too,” August suddenly murmurs into your hair as he pulls you even closer. When you turn your face up to him, he kisses you again. It’s warm, soft, and wet and incredibly impatient, filled with love as well as lust. When he breaks away from you, you press a few sloppy kisses to his neck. It’s a very weak protest, you’re well aware of that, but you’re sad he stopped kissing you and you have to do something to prevent yourself from acting out in ways that will get you punished.

“Now be a good girl for me and suck my cock, darling.” In another world you might have wanted him to beg for it, but in this universe, his order is enough to turn you on even more than anything that’s happened before now, and you don’t hesitate to undo his belt and trousers. He stops you when you try to move towards the foot of the bed. “Stay here so Daddy can play with you.”

You writhe in anticipation when he says those words as you free his cock from its confinement, fingers wrapping his girth, barely closing around it completely. The rope, your naked body, the swift encounter with your dripping wet cunt, the kiss, and the thought of all the things he wants to do to your tight little ass have left him hard. A hum escapes from between August’s slightly parted lips when your tongue darts out to slowly circle the head of his cock. The sound turns into a loud moan when you waste very little time wrapping your lips around him.

Usually, you like to exploit the fact that this is the only way you get to tease him a bit with no – alright, barely any – repercussions, but it’s been too long since you’ve felt his cock in your mouth and you need him too much. You moan and throw your hips back when you feel one of his fingers push into your ass again. It doesn’t go in as easily as the last time, but it doesn’t hurt. Still, August feels the increased amount of friction and reaches into the nightstand for the lube he keeps there. It’s cold against your skin, but that feeling fades as he works it into you, slowly pumping his finger until it’s completely inside of you. He surprises you when he suddenly sinks his teeth into your flesh before kissing the skin he just hurt.

“Good girl,” he praises you, “you’re doing very well.” Your cheeks are burning, and the words send jolts of electricity straight to your already dripping core. Your heart swells with pride whenever he talks to you like that, and you love earning his praise. There is absolutely nothing you love more than being ‘Daddy’s dirty little slut’. You moan around his cock as you focus on taking him in as deep as possible. In this position, you can take him all the way down, but you’re afraid to as long as he’s playing with your ass like this. It doesn’t look like he’s going to stop; after a short amount of time, you feel the tip of a second finger press against your hole, slowly inching its way inside of you.

“You have to promise you’ll tell me if I hurt you, princess,” August says as he uses his free hand to softly stroke your back, “can you do that for me?” You regret that you have to answer him, but you know he’s not going to take some ‘hmm-hmm’-noise that sounds vaguely like agreement as an answer – which just so happens to be exactly what makes you trust him enough to stick his fingers up your ass, to put it bluntly.

“Yes, Daddy,” you reply after you finally manage to pull your mouth off his cock. Your answer is sincere; you know you are stubborn as a mule at times, but by now you’ve learned that August being this gentle means something will go seriously wrong if he’s rough. You trust that judgment – and you’re fairly sure Marshall will get his ass handed to him about leaving you alone to make that call about the shibari harness.

Normally, August’s moans are all you have to get off on when you suck him – and you do get off on them – but now that they’re paired with the feeling of him fingering your ass, you think you might just go completely insane. It’s very hard to keep a steady rhythm with your mouth while you frantically throw your hips back against the movements of August’s fingers, especially when you feel him add a third finger. This is where you expected it to start being painful, but it isn’t. That being said, there’s definitely more friction, and you decide it’s a better idea to stay ahead of any pain than to ring the alarm when you’re already hurting.

“Can you use some more lube?” The sharp pain of a firm smack on your ass startles you. You could have expected August to tell you off for speaking with a full mouth, and making you repeat your question, but you aren’t really in a position where thinking straight is a top priority. He seems more than happy to answer to your request. You’re guessing he’s more than excited you’re having so much fun with this new little experiment. You make a last-ditch effort to continue what you can safely call the sloppiest blowjob of your life, but you definitely can’t keep a level head anymore now that August is fucking your ass with three fingers. When a fourth gently seeks entrance you shriek, expecting pain, but it doesn’t come at all.

August can be a very patient man, he knows it, you know it – Marshall no doubt also knows it, which is probably why he recognized that August would be much better suited for this particular first time than he would be. That, and in the ‘natural equipment’ department, Marshall is just a little more intimidating circumference wise, which wouldn’t necessarily be ideal, either. You’re still throwing your hips back, fucking yourself stupid on August’s fingers, ignoring his soft chuckles while moaning louder and louder, but still too shy to ask for what you really want – unprompted, at least. Luckily, August isn’t in the mood for cruel games or teasing tonight.

“What do you want, darling?” He asks. The smile on his face is audible in his voice.

“I- I want you,” you say in between moans, “I want you to fuck my ass.” As much as your eagerness clearly turns him on more, he remains calm and takes his time, making sure you’re lying on your stomach comfortably, telling you over and over again that you absolutely have to tell him if anything is painful.

“Slow down,” you say, gritting your teeth as the sudden intrusion becomes a little too much, “please add some more lube.” He obliges to every request without question and without delay. The extra slickness makes things a lot easier, but it’s not quite enough just yet.

“More,” you grunt as soon as August adds a bit too much pressure. He halts his movements immediately and pulls back. It isn’t long before you feel even more of the cool liquid against your sensitive skin.

“Relax, darling,” August says as he carefully tries again. You take a deep breath and lean into his movements. This time, he pushes into you without any problems. You shriek at the sudden intrusion, though it doesn’t hurt at all – it’s just a very sudden, very intense feeling of insane fullness, and so different from what you normally feel, that it startles you. August doesn’t move, giving you some time to get used to his size and the feeling, which you’re incredibly grateful for. After a while he leans forward and softly strokes your hair.

“Can I move, darling?” he asks. His voice is as gentle as his touch. There is no doubt in your mind that you can trust him completely, and you nod. He wouldn’t be August if he didn’t need verbal confirmation.

“Yes, Daddy,” you moan. If your words aren’t a plea for him to start moving, your writhing hips have to be. Of course he notices – you are in no way subtle about it – and chuckles before speaking to you again: “Aren’t you an impatient little slut?” His words send shivers down your spine: you love it when he calls you that. A moan escapes you when he suddenly pulls out and slowly plunges all the way back into you, and the noises only get louder with every new thrust. August seems impressed as he picks up speed and you keep moaning only in pleasure without a single hint of pain to it.

“Such a good girl,” you hear him say between moans, “you’re taking me so well.” It’s like you’re floating on air: As he slides in and out of you, increasing his speed with every thrust of his hips, August keeps praising you, talking about how tight you are, how good you feel around his cock… Soon, you’re begging him to fuck you even harder, sinking further into that fantastic feeling than you ever thought possible. It takes everything you’ve got to keep your hands away from your pussy, when all you really want is to give your throbbing clit the attention it’s so desperately craving. Your pleasured moans become frustrated cries as your body keeps screaming for release, but none of the million sensations you’re feeling are enough to provide it. There is one solution, but you’re far too stubborn to open your mouth and ask. It’s a particularly short-lived sense of pride, as every thrust of August’s hips chips away at your determination to keep yourself from begging – and they’re coming in quick succession. If the feeling is as tight for him as it is for you, you’re going to have to be quick about it, too, because even August isn’t going to last forever.

“D-Daddy,” you whimper, “please tou-fuck! – touch me.” You can barely keep your eyes open at this point.

“Do you want to come, kitten?” August’s voice is sweet – the kind of sweet that usually signals a harsh rejection, but he’s in a good mood now, maybe you have a chance. You nod and whisper a barely audible ‘yes’ in between the cries that slip from your mouth every time he shoves his cock into you. “Is your little slut pussy begging for attention?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you manage to choke out. August’s grunts and growls are killing you, especially when he chuckles before he speaks to you again.

“Well, you’re being such a good little whore for Daddy,” he says, and for a moment you allow yourself to get excited, “go on, touch yourself.” You almost do it. Almost. And then you remember you aren’t allowed to. You want to scream, call him names, tell him he’s a sadistic bastard, but the chances of you sitting comfortably tomorrow are actually quite high. If you don’t rein in your attitude, those chances will dwindle below zero fast. Your thighs are trembling – not that the rest of you isn’t – and there are tears in your eyes now. Crying won’t scare him – if anything, it will turn him on more, and it sure as hell won’t help his ruthless tendencies, but you can’t take more of this.

“Please, Daddy, please,” you beg, “please make me come, please.” You say the word ‘please’ another ten or so times before he finally shushes you. It’s a sound you haven’t heard before, full of adoration – perhaps even a bit of admiration. You let out a loud shriek when he reaches around your hip and brings his fingers to your clit. It doesn’t take much – and by that you mean it takes him unbelievably little effort to take you right to the edge.

It’s his voice that ends up pushing you over, when he leans forward to whisper in your ear: “Come for me, you dirty little slut.”

You come so hard it almost scares you, screaming August’s name – which you’re hoping won’t land you in hot water, given the circumstances, but you can’t be sure of that – so loud you’re fairly sure the neighbors can hear all of it, and then you crash. Your cries turn into soft whimpers, and for a while, the only sounds to be heard are the ones from your mouth, his and the sound of his hips slamming into you. It doesn’t take very long before he seems unable to keep his rhythm steady. His breath quickens in that familiar way that tells you he’s close. You sigh in relief. It’s not that you want it to end, but you couldn’t possibly take any more of this.

“Darling, you’re so tight,” he hisses through clenched teeth, “you’re going to make me come.”

“Fuck, yes,” you moan, “please, Daddy, please come in my ass.” He’s more than happy to oblige, and with a loud grunt and an absolutely brutal final thrust, he empties himself inside you before collapsing on top of you.

He strokes your hair and kisses your shoulders and neck gently. Your instinctively dig your fingernails into his ass when you feel he’s trying to pull out, fearing the emptiness you’ll feel when he does.

“Shh, princess, it’s okay,” he whispers softly. You don’t seem to be in trouble for using his first name, but even that is the furthest thing from your mind right now. “You were absolutely amazing, darling. You took me so well.” He keeps talking to you until you finally melt into his arms. You’re exhausted, still trembling, but finally giving in to his touch, allowing him to take care of you. You whine when he finally lifts his warm body off your shivering one, and you only vaguely register that he grabs something off the nightstand.

“I think Sir would love to see a picture of you like this, princess,” he says as he softly brushes his fingers over the curve of your ass, “is it okay if I take one?” You nod eagerly. Something about you loves it when either one of them shows you off to the other, especially when they’re proud of you. You raise yourself up on your knees a little at August’s request. It’s difficult because you’re still shaking, but it doesn’t take long before you can collapse into the heap of pillows again. August’s hands find their way back to you shortly after, and he presses more soft kisses to your back, shoulders and neck.

“Do you want me to run you a bath, kitten?” he asks softly, and all you can do in reply is moan. After gathering your thoughts for a few short moments, you follow him into the bathroom.

“Can I get a moment?” you ask shyly, and August smiles and nods before he leaves you alone so you can clean up a bit. Despite the incredible intimacy of your relationship with August, there are some things you prefer to do in a slightly more private setting. Pushing your boyfriend’s cum out of your ass definitely falls into that category.

You’re shaking and sore, and when you’re done splashing some cold water in your face and you look up into the mirror, you see that you look very tired. August appears behind you after turning the water off, and he gently pulls you towards the bath.

“Join me?” Your words are barely a question, but your eyes are definitely begging him. Of course he agrees, he always does. It’s one of his favorite ways to unwind and reconnect after intense experiences. You’re grateful for that, because you love nothing more than to curl up against him while enjoying the soothing warmth of the water. He helps you get in and immediately pulls you onto his lap. You sigh as you melt into his embrace. His chest is a wonderful pillow, and his hands gently work your sore muscles.

“I’m proud of you.” The words are accompanied by a kiss to your temple. You laugh softly, telling August you’re actually pretty pleased with yourself, too. Your words make him laugh, too, before he tells you it’s well deserved.

“Did you like it?” It’s a redundant question – it would have been from either of you – and it makes you laugh.

“August, I fucking loved it,” you say as you snuggle even closer to him and tell him you’re definitely up for doing this again. Soon.

“I guess we’ll have to invite Marshall over sometime, then,” he says with a devious smile spreading slowly across his face. Your breath catches in your throat as he says it and your thoughts immediately run wild. Oh, yes, you think, you absolutely have to.

#august walker smut #august walker x female reader #august walker x reader #august walker fanfiction #august walker #henrycavill fanfic #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill characters #walter marshall x reader #walter marshall #walter marshall fanfiction

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genshin-impact-unofficial · 5 months

Note

Hi!!! I've really been enjoying your writing, especially Albedo's spicy reading one I blushed and giggled so hard 🥰 it was very sweet and cute!!!

Which leads me into my request if that's okay! Can I please request something sweet and spicy with Albedo? I adore him so much and I don't really have much of an idea so really anything with him would be great!!

I'll probably be an anon for a while cause I'm shy so you can call me 🦊 fox anon if you want!

I hope you're having a great day!!!

Can i get a muthha fuckin uhhhhhhhhh.... Albedo deluxe with extra sweet and sour sauce. 🍔🍟🥤

Lmao fr tho, thank you 🦊 anon for both your praises and your request! I hope this fills your saucy Albedo needs! 💝

Hold Still, My Muse.

Albedo had a vision of you that must be made into reality.

Tags: GN!Reader x Albedo, Technically SFW, PG-13, Suggestive, Pining, Confessions, Everyone always writes Albedo as a dick but he is a polite boy FIGHT ME

The first time Albedo drew you was in passing. A candid sketch that a quiet man gifted to you without reason. When your paths crossed once more, the alchemist asked so politely for a moment of your time and you found it impossible to say no. He asked to draw you again, just as you were, sitting there in the sunlight. It felt awkward having someone stare so intently at your every detail. Albedo worked silently without mentioning how stiff your stance became under his gaze. That just won’t do…

You received a letter from the blond knight only a few days later. He’d like to see you again, but to share a meal this time. It was odd to receive such an invitation from the recluse Kreideprinz, but you were no less delighted to accept.

Albedo was quite charming when he put in the effort. Over dinner he asked to learn about you and your interests. He listened patiently, like he was committing it all to memory. In turn, you learned about Albedo's endlessly fascinating experiments and even about his artwork. You became so engrossed in the man's mind that time nearly got away from you. When Albedo asked you to pose for him once again, your anxieties were easier to push away in his familiar company.

You grew fond of both the alchemist's attention and presence. It became common for Albedo to take you to view scenery around Mondstadt, sit and chat, and eventually take his sketchpad out to draw you. Your heart would skip a beat whenever he held your chin to position your face toward him. Sometimes, you would even do it on purpose. After Albedo finished his sketch, you would both carry on and enjoy the rest of your date evening together.

Curiosity got the better of you regarding how often the blond went out of his way to draw others.

"Hm.." Albedo took a moment to ponder, as if he never considered this. "Besides you, I can't say I've ever went to this extent to draw someone."

You were hid a blush when he invited you to his home for a more private session. Albedo explained how he wanted to test some paints that took longer to dry, thus the process would be quite long. For your comfort he suggested his abode as a solution. Your mind hardly processed the boy’s reasoning, still stuck on being alone together in his home.

You regretted your choice of attire as soon as you arrived. The anticipation of the evening had you feeling bold. The revealing blouse and skin tight pants under your coat felt far too forward now that Albedo was right in front of you. If it didn’t mean trekking down the snowy mountain again, you would’ve already made an excuse to leave and reschedule.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’m almost done setting up.” Albedo gestured past his lab and toward a room further back. You entered and held your breath when you saw it was a small neat bedroom. There was very little in the room, just a fireplace, a bed, a couple of chests, and an easel set up towards the room's center. You sputtered out a question, asking where you should sit.

"The bed. We may take a while and it's the most comfortable seat I can offer. Plus, the lighting would be optimal." Albedo stated simply, entering in the room with the last of his supplies. You could only nod at his oblivious logic and take a tentative seat on the edge of his bed. There was no way you could take your coat off now, you were sure you'd burst into flames. The blond didn't question your choice and proceeded to place his paints while letting you get settled.

Maybe you would burst into flames anyway. The healthy fire kept the small room toasty enough that you felt suffocated under your thick coat. It took less than five minutes for you to feel the sweat forming on your brow. You willed yourself to stand strong and hold your pose, maybe he would finish quickly if you were perfectly still.

"Do you mind if I sit beside you?" Albedo's voice cut though your thoughts like a searing knife through butter. You blinked in confusion and shock, unable to find your voice you shook your head and scooted over. Your eyes followed the man's movements as he put down his tools and drew closer. The mattress dipped beside you when he sat and you could feel his gaze on you. You could bare to look just yet.

"Did you know when I began my drawings, they were simply to illustrate my notes? I felt I could study things in far more depth when I sketched their every last detail." The alchemists spoke casually, as if the two of you were sharing over a meal. You turned to look at him, made curious by the man's words.

"I found that the process was something I also enjoyed. It became calming to just observe and create. My mind could stay clear and calm." Albedo continued, "But I have never experienced having a subject enthrall me as much as you."

Your eyes widened and your mouth hung slightly open by the sudden confession.

"My mind isn't quite clear when I draw you. I feel inspired and challenged. I have yet to capture it truly on paper or canvas. I try again and again, and although beautiful, it doesn't truly capture what you evoke." You processed each word over and over in your mind. Finally, you worked up the courage to ask why he was telling you this.

"When you get nervous, you close off from me. I wanted to make my intentions clear so that you may have no reservations about me. You're someone I cherish as an inspiration and as a companion. So please, tell me how I can make you feel as such." Albedo told you earnestly.

You recognized there was vulnerability in his expression and that he was asking for the same. There really wasn't really anything standing in your way but your own fear. For this man, you were willing to be brave and show him what he wanted, what he all but pleaded for. Your expression softened and you told him you were alright to continue now.

Albedo returned to his easel and allowed you to get comfortable again. His eyes followed intrigued while you stood and started to undo your coat. You watched the man's every move while the garment fell to the floor. He didn't bother to hide the way his gaze followed every curvature of your body, as if committing it to memory again. Albedo's features held a mild expression but his body language showed he was restless. You sat farther up the bed, posing modestly yet arching your body ever so slightly for show.

"That position, while... appealing, doesn't lend itself to the lighting. Your leg, perhaps, bend it a little." Albedo, attempting keeping his composure, guided your pose.

"Like this?" You moved slowly, bending your leg up. The position now seemed far more provocative.

"Ah, No." Albedo tried to correct himself, not wanting to insinuate he was trying to put you in a questionable position. "I meant the other way. I apologize."

"Can you show me?" You ask feeling particularly bold now that you've received a reaction. "It would help me a lot." You added when you noticed a small hesitation.

"Of course." Albedo nodded. The blond stepped away from his painting and towards you perched on the bed. His hand hovered over your leg for a moment before looking you in the eye, "May I?" he asked ever so politely. You nodded in response and felt his warm hands begin to guide you.

You asked him how else you could improve your posture and watched as Albedo became eager to teach. Each touch becoming less and less cautious than the last, until the man had you pinned under him. You held each others charged gaze while he gripping each of your wrists against the mattress.

"This isn't very chivalrous of me as a knight." He breathed, looking you over again and again as if expecting you to ask him to stop. You let him observe you and even offered a open view of your neck and chest.

"Isn't it the job of a researcher to uncover what is before you." You remarked, not moving an inch. Albedo unclasped your wrists and you feared he may have had second thoughts. Before you could say anything, arms wrapped around your waist and his face was buried into your neck. A low rumble was spoken across your heated skin.

"Then I'm going to need you in a few positions for research purposes. I'll have to sketch down a few observations for reference as well."

<A/N: Ngl this got away from me a little. I expected this to be far shorter but it I think too hard. I hope you enjoy!

#albedo x reader #genshin #genshin headcanons #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #albedo kreideprinz #albedo genshin impact #oneshot #drabble

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swordfright · 9 months

Note

do you have any c!awesamdream fics recomendations?

Honestly, I don’t have a ton of recs. c!awesamdream fic is mysteriously hard to find, and I also wouldn’t want to recommend you anything super E-rated in case that’s not your jam. Personally I’ve had more success searching the Sam & Dream gen relationship tag than the slash tag. That said, here are my no-brainer recs, most are gen with some exceptions:

inosculation by @theminecraftbox - canon compliant, reflection on how their relationship progresses during the prison arc, how c!sam’s authoritarian tendencies bloom in pandora, and the weird symbiosis he and dream achieve. technically not a slash fic but like it is To Me!!

saltwater on rock by @elmhat - also not technically a slash fic but it is a fun exploration of their relationship post-prison: who are they to each other, now that they aren’t prisoner and warden? what power has dream reclaimed, what power has sam ceded? or is it the other way around? fun stuff.

the trees deny themselves nothing by @lookinghalfacorpse - if you’re asking for recs you’ve probably already read this one (it’s basically THE awesamdream fic at this point) but i think it lends itself to re-readability! and if you haven’t read it: dream loses his leg in pandora, phil n techno conscript sam to make him a new one after the jailbreak, things get interesting. OP also wrote a post-fic oneshot which you can read here.

everlasting evermore by @elmhat - incomplete atm and also not slash but definitely awesamdream vibes. sam is a sad widower king who interrogates dream in his dungeon so it scratches the fantasy itch. this fic does some cool things with the cloning lab lore and i’m really excited to see where it goes!

21 steps in the desert by @airrec - banger. it's short so i won't describe it in detail. banger tho!

scream eureka by @cgogs - basically a post-canon domestic horror fic, sam and dream are married (with a kid on the way) but neither of them is able to move on from pandora. this fic deals with issues of bodily autonomy very well and it’s also refreshing to see trans pregnancy handled with tact, rather than treated like a fetish or a joke. IIRC this fic is an AU of an AU so be warned, it does come with like 30 pages of background lore which isn't necessary to understand the fic but does make it easier to follow.

all these lives by @lookinghalfacorpse - reincarnation drabble, plays with sam’s obsession in fun ways. not really sure how else to describe this one but i reread it sometimes! it’s good!

you don't have to be like that by @dr3amofagame - incomplete, i haven't reread this one in a while but i remember enjoying it at lot! dream gives sam the book in a moment of desperation and then has to navigate the fallout.

accident by @airrec - another fave. concise, fucked up, and very well written.

i’ve also been working on a multichap awesamdream fic (am i allowed to rec my own fics??? is that too cringe??) that’s gonna be wrapping up soon. pandora's vault gains sentience, that's the whole plot. like most of the other works on this list, it’s not technically ship fic but it is very much about sam and dream’s...situation. full warning tho, it’s long and rambly and weird, sorry for that!

i also wanna add that pretty much any fic that explores the scrapped lore is gonna have to deal with awesamdreamisms by necessity, owing to the nature of, well, the lore. there's a decent amount of fics about it, here's one that I found recently and enjoyed a lot.

Have fun, mind the tags. And if you find more then by all means, feel free to add to this post! I know there's a lot of tumblr-exclusive content floating around out there that can be harder to find than stuff on AO3.

Also, it's worth mentioning that some of the most compelling c!awesamdream content I've read were brief interludes in fics about much broader subjects in the fandom; I've read a lot of great c!awesamdream moments in c!rivals fics, prison trio fics, c!dnf fics, etc. So my advice is to cast your net wide, if that makes sense? Happy reading!

#like i said most are gen but like gen: suggestive edition if you catch my drift #i hope thats ok to say dfghnjmkjhg #if anyone wants to be untagged from this post and/or have their work removed just dm me and i'll make it happen!#c!sam #c!awesamdream #c!dream #awesamdude #dreblr #fic rec #asks #i don't have time to check these links before going back to work but hopefully they all lead where they're supposed to #if not lmk

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2-sleepy-for-this · 6 months

Text

Run, Rabbit

here it is, the first fanfic I’ve ever written of tadc. I did this pretty quick so sorry if it’s not the best. I just love angst (and if you couldn’t tell, also Jax)

Tw ~ fear, panic, mentions of being prey, unintentional fearplay, grabbing, angst

word count ~ 1.5k

Jax was scared. That didn’t happen often, but he was terrified at the moment.

All because of Caine’s ‘newest adventure’ that he had no say in agreeing to. God, he wished he wasn’t in this stupid circus.

It had all started when Caine had run out of ideas for their daily adventures. The ai ringmaster searched for any possible game to play. He wanted to find something ‘new’ and ‘interesting’ for them to do…

Everyone was confused as he started talking excitedly about hide and seek, tag and all those other childhood games they knew as kids… Jax didn’t know how those were anything new, he couldn’t count how many times they played those games already while here.

Despite his reluctance, Jax decided to question Caine about how those were considered inspiring… that was his mistake.

Apparently, uttering a word in the quiet meant that he volunteered himself for the demonstration.

Caine had levitated over to him with an ‘I’m glad you asked!’ and that’s when his fate was sealed. If he could only keep his lips as closed as his teeth.

So now Jax was running. Fast. Though it wasn’t really doing much for him because at the moment…

He was doll sized.

Caine decided to make it ‘easier for him to win’ by shrinking him. According to the ai, he was much too tall to win at hide and seek…

Well… more like a mixture of rules form the multiple games, hide and seek, tag, etc. He didn’t know, and he didn’t care. All Jax knew was that he was being hunted by giants, the others, and he needed to run and hide for his life.

Technically, he wasn’t going to be killed, but… that’s how it felt… some twisted part of his mind told him that if caught, he would die, that he was in danger…

He hated how his digital body was a rabbit. Maybe that was why he was freaking out so much over being the ‘prey’ of this game. Hit too close to home with these new survival instincts he was experiencing for the first time.

Even as the fastest one in the circus, his loss of height made it near impossible to go faster than any normal sized person and he was out in the open at the moment, nothing but the vast area of the tent with nothing to hide inside.

Jax was jolted out of his thoughts by the sound of footsteps… large footsteps that shook the ground beneath him… there were only a few people in the circus who could actually make footsteps…

Well, at least he wasn’t found by the crybaby. That would be humiliating.

The thudding got louder as the giant got closer and Jax was really panicking now. He didn’t like to panic, and he definitely didn’t want whoever found him to see him panicking…

So he continued to run… but he knew he’d have to face a giant eventually, whether that be getting caught or having to be seen by Caine to be grown back after winning.

He wasn’t paying attention to where he was running until he ran right into a giant building block, falling on his back. The blue letter ‘L’ on it mocking him as he rubbed his head.

That’s when he heard it..

“Jax!”

The volume of her voice hurt his ears as he looked up…

And up…

And up at the gigantic rag doll that was a few feet away, looking at him with a terrifying triumphant expression.

Jax immediately began to backtrack, scrambling back on the hard floor away from Ragatha, not able to take his eyes off her.

That didn’t stop her from stepping closer, a smirk on her face as she closed the distance between them in just two normal sized steps.

He watched her kneel down, Ragatha’s hand moving towards his tiny body.

Jax felt his ears press down against his head… well.. that’s embarrassing. He looked pathetic at the moment, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was the instincts buzzing around his head, telling him to run and hide. It wasn’t a game for him now…

The rabbit felt the giant hand wrap around his waist, lifting his feet off the ground like he was an actual toy. He hated that feeling, but he couldn’t speak more than a slight whimper that made it past his lips.

Ragatha was talking to him. He could see her giant mouth moving… but he couldn’t pay any attention… just staring wide eyed as his lips were open in a slack jawed frown, his solid yellow teeth on display.

Jax felt his body trembling, his arms stuck at his sides in the fist and his legs limp, held so high off of the ground.

“H-hey doll face…”

He tried to give his signature grin to save face, but that was much harder than he thought…

“Uh.. Jax?… are you okay? You look a little pale.”

He noticed that she didn’t mention the shaking, or the wide-eyed stare, or his ears firmly down against his head…

“I’m fine… congrats. You won the stupid game.

Now, p-put me down.”

Jax tried to convince Ragatha to put him back on solid ground in an attempt to be snarky… honestly, anything was better than being held by a giant, even if it meant having to look all the way up at her.

“Uh… shouldn’t I take you to Caine?”

Right… he forgot about that, he’d need Caine to unshrink him, but the thought of not being on the ground within the next five seconds made him want to curl up and shake more than he already was… he couldn’t do that in Ragatha’s hand though, he’d never hear the end of it.

Even though Jax knew it was probably easier to just let her carry him to Caine, he still got a feeling of dread about the fact she had turned down his demand… he felt like it wasn’t taken seriously.

“I can walk on my own. "

He grunted while squirming in her fist. She opened up her hand so he was laying on her flat palm. He moved to stand but struggled to balance from the plush fabric surface of her skin.

Ragatha chuckled at his statement.

“Yeah, right, and let you get lost on the ground somewhere? No way. Caine probably wouldn’t even see you down there.”

Jax groaned in irritated acceptance, with a slight undertone of fear from the prospect of being carried for who knows how long since Caine liked to roam around often.

“Fine… take me to him then, and make it quick. I don’t got all day.”

He made a show of sitting cross-legged on her palm and crossing his arms, forcing his ears back up with will power and spite. Jax kept his surprised yelp to a minimum as she started walking with her giant strides again, refusing to look at the floor very far below to him.

Caine was smaller than Ragatha so it wasn’t too hard to look at him, but those giant teeth made him shudder like the first time he arrived here.

Finally… he was set on the ground and with a snap from the ai he was back to his tall self. Jax relished in his size and internally sighed in relief as the nightmare of being a tiny hunted rabbit was over with. He wanted it all to be put behind him, never thinking about that again until… he realized that those instincts didn’t go away.

He was still… jumpier than before, more cautious with noises… and though he didn’t have one, he bet if he did, his nose would twitch like crazy every time he froze at a loud sound.

Don’t get him wrong, he still showed no fear on his face, talked back to the others and NPCs during adventures and frequently screwed with anyone unfortunate enough to be in his vicinity… but now it was slightly different. He was slightly different.

Something about feeling like small prey in a twisted game of chase, even if it was only in a digital reality, stuck with him… and once those weird new survival instincts unlocked over running from the giant characters he was stuck with… they couldn’t be put back in the bottle that easily.

Jax hated this. Why did his digital body have to be a rabbit?

No one seemed to mention it though, whether they even noticed his strange behavior or not. Though Ragatha gave him some odd glances once in a while that he met back with an unamused glare.

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hope you guys enjoyed! Might do more like this later, please send me asks and such! The brain rot for my fandoms is real :’)

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tag list:

@da3dm @i-am-beckyu @lunar-but-little

#giant/tiny #g/t community #g/t #tadc g/t #the amazing digital circus g/t #tiny!jax #giant!ragatha #The rabbit is not having a good time #Turns out being chased by your friends isn’t fun #He might have issues now #<3

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writing-ca-ira · 7 months

Text

BLACK AND WHITE

Akito Shinonome x Reader

Sometimes, when the very thing that was your escape starts feeling like a chore, you have to find new outlets to jumpstart your creativity. Akito finds his in an unconventional form of art.

Reader is gender neutral.

Contains: graffiti art, vandalism (if you don’t vibe with that), mentions of scars (can be translated as from Ena, but may not canonically make sense in terms of the timeline), brief self-depreciating thoughts, can be romantic if you squint, reader is Akito’s graffiti mentor, they both wear face masks cuz breathing in VOC fumes is dangerous as fuck.

“Nasty scars you got there.”

Akito felt his pointer press down harder on the spray can’s nozzle. “Don’t want to talk about it.”

“Didn’t ask,” you replied with no sort of menace, shaking up your own can to mix its components together. Then, sparing a quick glance at Akito’s handiwork, you added, “let up on the pressure. Short bursts, remember?”

A curse slipped out from under the ginger’s breath when he realized his “i” was running from too much propellant buildup. Immediately, he relieved the nozzle from further abuse of his finger, staring disapprovingly at his semi-ruined tag. “Right,” he mumbled. A rookie mistake.

As if sensing his thoughts, you let out a breathy chuckle. “Don’t worry. Finding the balance between enough coverage and heavy-handiness is hard.” A short pchit from your can interluded your words. “You’ll get used to it. Just takes practice.”

He felt his furrowed brows relax a bit. Ah, that’s right… he’s still new to this. Considering that only a few weeks ago was the first time he even touched a spray can for the very first time, it was a ridiculous expectation to be a natural at this. Practice, he echoed in his brain. Just takes practice. That’s all.

And not the kind of practice that makes his voice hoarse and limbs feel like led.

Admittedly, he never thought he would be doing something like this. Sure, he always found himself admiring the graffiti in alleyways and old venues, but his father made it clear to him that this was no form of art. He recalls being a young primary schooler in the local art and supply store, his father ranting to himself about the spray cans being on full display and on sale. “Just making it easier for talentless fools to vandalize everything.”

Welp… god only knows what his old man would think about what he’s doing now.

“Saw that you updated your old tag in Vivid Street,” Akito commented, shaking up his can to start on a new letter. “I like the new style.”

You didn’t provide an immediate response, instead opting to scan over your progress as you adjusted your face mask. “Did it just last night. Not sure how I feel about the colors.”

“I think they’re fine.” The ginger finished his “r” much faster than he anticipated, pleased that there was less dripping than his previous letter. It was a bit wonky, but he found a bit of charm in the way it turned out. “A gradient was a good choice. Shows off your skill real well.”

“I’m just worried people are gonna laugh at the irony of KURO being colorful,” you chortled.

He thought about it for a moment, then let out an amused hum. Yeah, it was a bit ironic, but he found the technical aspect of the graffiti overriding that detail. Besides, it was a big improvement from the simple thin black letters that barely popped out from the wall. The color made it more than just a normal meaningless piece of vandalism; it was now art.

Now on the “o,” he offered a shrug. “I don’t think it matters that much. Still looked cool.” After grimacing at the weird overlap his circle had, he stepped back and observed the final product. It was an obviously amateur tag: the coverage was blotchy, a few of his letters dripped from over-spraying, and the block letters had inconsistent thicknesses. A friend tugged at his lips as he studied every glaring imperfection in his work.

Compared to yours…

“Hey, that looks good.”

His head snapped in your direction at breakneck speed. “Hah?”

“I said it looks good,” you repeated. You had just finished outlining your own “o,” a can of orange now being shook in your hand to assumingely begin a gradient. “Considering it’s only your third tag, and your first trying out block letters, I’m super impressed.”

All he could do was dumbly blink at you for a few seconds. You were… impressed? At his hotchpotch of a graffiti? Surely, you had to just be saying that to make him feel better. There’s no way a pro like you thought it looked anything above subpar. Hell, it barely even looked like he took it seriously, half-assing it like some punk who only wants to spray paint a train just to look like a cool kid. Nothing about his tag resembled anything close to art.

“I could definitely do better,” he huffed, looking back at his finished product with distaste.

You hummed. “Yeah. You definitely could.” Before he could even begin to wonder if that was supposed to be a snide remark or not, you continued. “But so can I. There’s a lot of stuff about my own graffiti works that I wish I could improve on.” You shook up the orange, your eyes trained on the your work. “S’why I go back and update my old tags. Like the one I did in Vivid Street. It was one of my first.”

He tried his best to remember the details of the old KURO in Vivid Street. The letters had a unique style, but were too thin to be easily readable. He had initially mistaken the “r” for a “b” for how runny it was. Looking back, he probably shouldn’t of been surprised that it was your first tag, especially compared to what you can do now. Throwing you a curious glance, he stuffed his freehand in his pocket. “Do you update all of your old tags like that?”

“Nah.” You didn’t elaborate for a couple of seconds, your can hissing as you began filling in the negative space of your letters. “Only the ones that get passed by a lot. Wanna have my art look presentable to people, y’know?”

He thought about your response. It made sense; any artist would want their most seen work to reflect their best work. Plus, there was the added bonus of making the environment feel more lively. Before the style update, the KURO in Vivid Street admittedly looked boring, and even distasteful. Just any other graffiti you would barely even spare a glance towards as you go on your merry way. After you went back to do a much-needed revamp, however, he found himself admiring every detail for a solid 10 minutes. The blue to pink was very eye-catching, white highlights boldly contrasting the black outline. Bubble letters replaced simple stick characters. He felt himself becoming inspired the more he took in every meticulous detail. It was amazing how one graffiti update could completely change the vibe of an alleyway.

Shifting his weight from one leg to the other, he fiddled with the nozzle of the spray can in his grip. “So, what about the tags you don’t redo?”

“I leave them like that.”

“How come?”

A fond shimmer sparked in your eyes. It held a sense of nostalgia to it; the kind that comes with reflecting on good times. “Tells my story as an artist. Might not be an exclusive interview or anything, and KURO’s sure as hell not famous outside of the local street art space but those who see my novice KURO tags get to see a journey.” You reached down to grab a can of yellow. “Besides, I like to go back and look at them, so I can see how far I’ve come.”

Huh… Akito wasn’t expecting that response. Sure, he was a fellow artist (admittedly, he was too much of a rookie graffiti artist to consider himself as such, but he was still a performing artist), but he never thought that way about his own art. The whole point of wanting to improve was, not only to one day make an event bigger than RAD WEEKEND, but to also distance himself from his old shitty skill level. He wanted nothing to do with his old singing and dancing, and just looking at recordings of his old performances made him feel sick. They only serve as a reminder to get better, or else he’ll be stuck in the same box for the rest of his life as an artist.

But… when you put it like that…

“So,” he awkwardly began, trying to dispel his thoughts about Vivid BAD SQUAD. “You ever gonna come back and update this one?”

There wasn’t an immediate answer. You seemed to engrossed in probably blending the orange and yellow to even think of one, so he patiently waited. This gave him a perfect opportunity to examine your technique, watching how you angled your extremely light sprays upwards to mingle the colors together (huh, he’ll have to keep that in mind). It was at this point that he took notice of the paint fumes, but rather than finding it disgusting like he initially did, there was an odd sense of comfort that came with it this time… of course, it probably helped that he came prepared with a face mask. During his initial chance encounter with you, you had warned him to stand a good distance away as to not breathe in the toxic VOC fumes.

The clacking noise of your spray can snapped him out of his thoughts, your eyes still staring intently at the still wet tag. You still had the “r” and the “o” to finish blending, but he knew it wouldn’t take long for you to do. Instead of continuing to work, however, you straightened your up posture, turning to fully face him. “You kidding me? Definitely am.”

… Huh—?

Your declarative delivery threw him for a loop. Were you not satisfied with the way this KURO turned out? His brows furrowed at the thought, eyes studying every detail of the tag. It looked amazing; and while he’s definitely no stranger to the concept of being your own worst critic, this felt ridiculous. Especially when it’s side by side with his own frumpier work. It reminded him too much of the growing gap between him and his fellow Vivid BAD SQUAD members, the familiar weight of self-doubt and envy pressing against his chest… ah, yeah… of course he had to be reminded of his own shortcomings every day. Such is the life of a talentless, worthless—

Your voice cut through his spiraling thoughts. “After all, you gotta come back later and update your very first box-letter tag, right?”

… Oh.

Suddenly, all of those self-deprecating mantras fell upon deaf ears. His chest felt lighter than before, and he couldn’t fight the radiant warmth that filled his heart. Something about your implied promise of progress was… oddly freeing. It recognized his current novice status, but again, this was only his first time doing box letters. As long as he kept practicing, he could only get better. Along with that, your promise also held a deeper meaning; that you two would be working alongside each other for a while longer. Though he was too stubborn to say it out loud, your presence was calming, and he appreciated how he didn’t have to be hard on himself when it came to graffiti.

By pure chance, you helped him discover a new outlet.

He was grateful for the mask, because trying to keep the big smile off his face was damn near impossible. He tried to play it off cool by offering a humorous huff and shaking his head. “Sounds like a plan. If you think you can stand me for that long, anyway.”

“Well, you’re not the worst person out there,” you mused, getting to work on your last two letters. “Now pick up the black paint, will you?”

Quirking a brow, he couldn’t help but skeptically posing, “what for?”

Your answer came after a good shake to your can. “Gonna teach you how to properly outline. The white pops on a darker surface like this, but in most alleyways, white tags get a bit lost on the brick. Plus, it can look pretty bland.”

Ah, a lesson. He could definitely use those. Sure, he’s picked up a lot of good tips from you over the past few weeks, but if he ever wants to get better at this, he’s always down to learn some more. Graffiti took his life by storm, activating his creativity in ways he didn’t even imagine before, and the thought of being able to create it with his own hands gave him the same high that events did.

He looked at your KURO, and then his SHIRO.

Yeah, there may have been an obvious gap in skill, but with your guiding advice, this is one he was sure he could catch up on.

#Project Sekai x reader #Akito Shinonome x reader

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suddenlybambi · 1 year

Text

as long as you stay here [9] ♥ kyle broflovski

pairing : kyle broflovski x reader

college AU - 18+

tags : strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, angst, alcohol, afab reader, she/her pronouns, eventual smut

words : 2.5k

chapter 9

previous | next | alaysh masterlist

a/n - two updates in one day???? technically no as its 1am for me... but if i update again at usual time then it'll be yes! time will tell!!

Kyle drove a little faster than the speed limit on some empty roads in order to get back quicker, which he knew he shouldn’t have done and was paranoid about the entire time. He knew he had only had one beer, but he was terrified of the idea of being pulled over by a cop. He was soon distracted by the soft snoring coming from the girl next to him, saving him from his anxious thoughts.

Y/N had fallen asleep; head tilted to the side, mouth hanging open a little. He breathed a sigh of relief as it would make it easier to just get her settled down in bed and leave her be for the night knowing she was safe and asleep.

He parked as close to the door as he could get and got his apartment key out and ready so he could unlock it straight away. He tried as quietly and carefully as he could not to wake Y/N up as he lifted her out of the car and carried her into the thankfully quiet apartment.

Wendy and Stan had left early. Stan felt sick, so Kyle assumed they were already in bed as the apartment was dark and quiet.

He didn’t turn the light on, which meant he only very narrowly avoided walking into the couch as he made his way directly to his room. As carefully as he could, he laid her down on his bed. Just as he was about to stand up straight and leave, he saw her eyes open, watching him with curiosity.

“Where are you going?” She asked, hands reaching out to try and pull him back towards her. Her sleepy and drunken movements prevented her from getting a grip on his shirt so she couldn’t drag him onto the bed, which was probably for the best. “Come back to me.” She sounded so sweet and innocent as she pleaded, and Kyle almost broke, but he managed to hold on to his resolve as he straightened his back.

“Can I get you anything?” He asked, diverting his gaze to look at anything else that would distract him. “Some water? Food?”

“Stay with me?” She requested. That was what it took to break Kyle’s resolve.

“Let me find you some clothes first,” He sighed, trying to find something suitable in his dresser. “You can’t be comfortable in that. Even under the covers, you’ll freeze to death.”

Looking through his shirts, he stopped on one and considered it for a second. Holding it up, he decided to go ahead with it and let her wear his favourite t-shirt. It was the t-shirt he had been gifted by his coach after winning the last basketball game of the season, with his name and number on it. He felt a little selfish, wanting to see her wearing his name and number, but convinced himself it meant nothing. It was just a t-shirt, nothing more. He grabbed a pair of shorts as well and passed them to her.

Y/N held the clothes out, her hand tracing Kyle’s name as she thought about something.

“I don’t think… I can get this dress off by myself,” She mumbled, looking down at her body. The dress was so skin tight Kyle wondered how long it had taken to get on in the first place. He considered suggesting that he closed his eyes and they got it over and done with quickly, but her next words put a stop to that immediately. “I don’t have underwear on.”

He was at a complete loss as to what to do. That was when a saving grace came in the form of Wendy getting up to go to the bathroom.

“Hold on,” He instructed Y/N. He opened his door and slipped into the hallway, quickly grabbing Wendy as she walked past his room. “Wendy?”

“Holy shit, Kyle!” Wendy gasped, clutching her hand to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. “You almost scared me to death!”

“I’m really sorry, but I need your help,” He sighed, looking back at his open door. “Y/N can’t sleep in that costume, but she can’t get it off, and I don’t think I should be the one to help her, especially since she’s not wearing underwear, and-.”

“Stay out here,” With no hesitation; Wendy pushed past to help her friend. She had done the same in return for her. It wasn’t a big deal.

After five excruciatingly long minutes, Wendy opened the door again. Kyle had gone to get Y/N some water and aspirin for the next morning that he would leave on the bedside table for when she woke up.

“Is she okay?” Kyle asked immediately, looking over her shoulder at the slightly ajar door.

“She’s fine, but I’m going to murder Bebe and Clyde for getting her that drunk,” She mumbled, shaking her head in disappointment. “You shouldn’t keep her waiting, or she’ll get up to find you. She asked where you were the entire time. I could barely get a word in edgeways.”

He didn’t need to hear anything else before returning to his room, finding Y/N curled up under the covers, only her head peeking out from them. Even with smeared makeup, she looked adorable.

“Kyle!” Her voice was full of pure joy when she said his name, and it made his heart ache. He thought he was selfish for committing it to memory, but he couldn’t help himself. No one had ever sounded so sweet saying his name. “Come here, it’s cold, and you promised me a hug.”

“Hold on. You shouldn’t sleep in that makeup,” As fast as he could, he rushed to the bathroom and grabbed some of Wendy’s makeup wipes, hoping she wouldn’t mind. He returned and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Close your eyes.” She did as instructed, and Kyle wiped her makeup off as gently as possible. She leaned into every touch with a happy little hum that he couldn’t help but smile at. Once done, he tried to stand up, but she had grabbed the back of his shirt.

“Hug now?” She asked. He couldn’t say no to that. With a heavy sigh, he threw the wipes into the trash can from where he was. After that, he turned and settled down on the bed next to Y/N. Her arms immediately wrapped around him in a hug which he, remembering his promise, returned.

Kyle woke up to the sound of music drifting in from the kitchen, unsure of when he had fallen asleep. He looked around to see that Y/N’s costume from the Halloween party was still in the corner, but she was missing from the bed. He realised he was still wearing his own costume from the night before. He had been so focused on making sure she was comfortable that he had forgotten his own comfort.

Looking to the side, he saw that the water and aspirin he had left on the bedside table for her were gone, so that was a good sign that she had woken up well enough to know she needed to take them.

With a yawn and stretch, he got up to investigate the noise, but not before making his bed as he always did first thing. As suspected, it was coming from the kitchen. Stan stopped him just at the entrance, where he had been watching what was happening inside.

“You’ll get dragged into this and forced to sing with them if you’re not careful, trust me,” He warned, pointing at the source of the commotion. Kyle watched as Y/N and Wendy danced around the kitchen, loudly singing along to ‘Heaven is a Place on Earth’ while they made what appeared to be pancakes for breakfast. “Just wait until they get on the chairs and start singing Celine Dion. It really is a sight to see.”

“Do they do this often?” Kyle asked, smiling as the two girls had the time of their lives. Y/N had a spoon raised to her face, pretending to use it as a microphone. She looked like something straight out of a sappy rom-com, beautiful and completely carefree.

“Often enough that they have a pancake playlist with all of their favourite songs to belt,” Stan nodded, laughing as he watched his Wendy flip her hair around wildly. She seemed happier and looser than usual when Y/N was around. Something about the two seemed to bring out the best in one another. “So, Y/N stayed the night?”

“It’s not like that!” Kyle shook his head, noticing the suggestive tone in Stan’s voice immediately. “She was really drunk at the party; I couldn’t find Bebe or Clyde to take her home, so I figured it was safer to bring her back here. Wendy got her dressed. Nothing happened.”

“I don’t know how she’s so energetic after drinking that much,” Stan looked on in disbelief as Y/N danced around without a care in the world, seemingly not a tiny bit hungover. “My head is pounding, and I only had like… three beers.”

“Dude, you had seven….” Kyle shook his head at his friend but soon smiled as he watched Y/N dance and spin around, grabbing Wendy’s hand to twirl her. “She’s definitely something special.”

“You’re so whipped, dude,” Stan laughed at his friend. “You’d better say something to her soon, or someone else will get there first. Kenny has asked me about her a few times.”

“Kenny?” Kyle groaned. “God, I have no chance if-” His voice had increased enough in volume to catch the attention of the two girls. Fortunately for Kyle, they hadn’t caught any of the conversation.

“Good morning Kyle!” Y/N gave him a dazzling grin when she spotted him lurking in the doorway next to Stan. She held her hand out, inching closer to him. “Come and dance with us!”

“Kyle has no rhythm,” Stan announced with a knowing smirk in his friend’s direction. It was a challenge, and Kyle knew that. “And the neighbours won’t let him sing anymore.”

“Dude!” Kyle groaned, pushing Stan to the side enough to make him wobble but not fall over. He really considered taking Y/N’s hand for a second but didn’t want to make a fool of himself. She was a professional dancer; he would look even worse next to her. “But it is probably best for everyone if I don’t. I really don’t have rhythm.”

“Suit yourself!” Y/N shrugged, turning back to Wendy and twirling her around. Stan gave Kyle a disappointed look that told him he had missed his chance, but Kyle did his best to shrug it off.

Y/N checked the frying pan and decided that the pancake in there was good to go, adding it to the growing pile. “Come on, you don’t have to dance, but you do have to help eat these before the leaning tower of pancakes falls.”

“Y/N, babe,” Wendy grabbed two plates and piled pancakes onto each. “Stan and I are going to eat in our room.” She walked past Kyle, leaving him confused as she gave him a wink. Had she heard the conversation between him and Stan after all?

“Gross!” Y/N called after the two as they disappeared hand in hand around the corner, turning back to Kyle with a grin on her face. “I can’t see that your singing could be any worse for the neighbours than when those two go at it.”

“That sounds like a challenge,” He laughed, feeling slightly nervous. She put the spatula she had been holding down and held her hand back out to him, stepping even closer than before.

“You say you have no rhythm…” She took his hand before he gave it to her, pulling him towards her. His feet moved on autopilot. “But maybe you just need someone to take the lead?” Kyle couldn’t will his mouth to move with a response, nor could he trust the rest of his body to do anything more than allow Y/N to drag him around the kitchen, swaying to the music. When she started gently humming along, resting her head against his chest, he was convinced he was dreaming. There was something so ethereal about the situation.

It would have been the perfect opportunity to confess his feelings to her had he been able to put them into words. They had sprung on faster than he could truly register them. All he knew was that he had never felt the way he did about Y/N about anyone else. He wanted to be around her as much as possible; when he was away from her, he thought of her, it felt borderline obsessive, but he couldn’t stop. She was on his mind almost all of the time.

All too soon, the song ended, and she pulled away from him. “See,” She looked up at him with a small twinkle in her eyes. “You’re not a bad dancer.”

“Well,” Kyle had to clear his throat as his voice came out slightly hoarse from how dry his throat suddenly felt. “I didn’t really do anything. I just let you do all of the hard work.”

“Sometimes a good dancer is one who just knows when it’s time to let their partner take the lead,” She turned back to the kitchen counters to make the last few pancakes with the remaining batter. Kyle was speechless. He couldn’t think of any words worthy of saying to her in response. She deserved the best, and anything else would be a waste of her valuable time.

“Kyle?” Y/N turned, and Kyle realised she had said something to him that he missed.

“I’m so sorry. Could you repeat that?” He was worried she was upset with him, but her soft smile was enough to say that she wasn’t.

“I asked if you know if you have any lemon juice?” She asked, motioning over at the sugar on the side. “I like my pancakes a little sweet and sour.”

“Oh! Yeah!” He leaned forward, placing a hand on the counter next to Y/N and reaching over into the cupboard above her to retrieve the lemon juice. He hadn’t realised he had essentially just pinned her against the counter until he looked down to pass the lemon juice to her to see the completely bewildered look on her face at the sudden close contact. “S-Sorry,” His cheeks had flushed pink in embarrassment, but it took him another second to remember that he needed to step away so she could move, but to his shock, she had a hand on his waist, preventing him from moving. Keeping him where he was, she took the bottle from his hand and tilted her head a little to the side in curiosity, smiling up at him.

“Thank you,” She whispered, only then letting go of his waist. He stumbled a little as he took a step back. He shivered as her hand traced along his lower back when she walked past him. “Come on, let’s not let the pancakes get any more cold than they probably already are.”

a/n - the comments you guys write really spur me on when writing, thank you so much 🥰

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