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#taking liberties with the genre
rusquared · 2 days
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take this as your sign from your most least somewhere-in-the-middle favorite tumblr blog 🫶 read this webtoon 🫶
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raiiny-bay · 6 months
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good morning. we officially have world lore for the mbzAU
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byronicbi · 10 months
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scheduled myself off today because i thought i'd be too tired to get any writing done but oops banged out 1.8k in a completely unrelated project i started some two years ago but never finished. most of it was rewriting so it was probably less processing power (lie) but here we are, fucking around with gods and transing their divine gender like sorry bro i need you to be a narrative foil i guess.
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angxlofvenus · 10 months
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Hii! I saw your requests were open and I thought I'd give you a hc/fic idea:
The brothers (or whoever you'd like to write for) reacting to Mc using their shampoo/ soap in the shower for whatever reason ^^
I hope this makes sense to you lol, anyways I hope you're having a wonderful day/night, don't push yourself too hard, and drink water!! You can also take any creative liberties you seem fit, or if you decide you don't want to write it I won't be offended ^^
°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
Thank you so much for the request!! This is absolutely adorable, I hope everything is to your liking, Have a great rest of your day/night !! Genre: fluff Ship: Reader x brothers + Diavolo (individual headcanons) TW: clingy demons, minimal cussing, no use of readers' pronouns, second-person pov
When You Use Their Shampoo
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Stepping into the shower, You were greeted with the nice hot/cool water raining from above, Going to start your routine, You reached for your shampoo bottle only to find it empty! Looking around you spotted his shampoo and conditioner, surely he wouldn’t mind… right?
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Lucifer
100% smells it on you no matter how little you used
Won’t tease you in public but as soon as ya’ll are alone? Ho ho, he’ll never shut up about it
Smug, the definition of smug
You had to go and inflate the ego of The Lord of Pride even more
Very possessive afterwards
Congrats, You know have a scary guard dog demon!
Mammon
He probably wouldn’t even really notice at first
He’d probably compliment how good you smell, Then would slowly realize…
Great, Now he's yelling gibberish while his face slowly gets redder and redder
“You’re gonna give me a heart attack, don’t do that to me!” But will become very clingy
If you say his shampoo smells good, he may lose his mind.
“Well of course ya wanted to smell Like the great Mammon!” 
Levi
Poor awkward nerd
He never saw this coming
I think he would realize you used his shampoo but won’t say anything
Flustered to the max
You have broken him
Levi.404 has stopped working, please reset.
After like the third day, You’re gonna have to bring it up
Secretly really likes it, Won’t tell you that though
Satan
I think he is very picky about scents so he knows as soon as you walk into the room
A little bit of a tease, asking if you were trying out a new shampoo
Smug 2.0 
He would tease you a little bit around the others but not bad
He would flood you with compliments, You using his shampoo would make him very lovey-dovey
Expect him to ask for ya’ll to just use the same stuff from now on
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Asmo
Oh honey, he knows.
He knew before you even got out of the shower.
But that doesn't mean he's any less excited!
Better plug your ears because he will let out the loudest squeal known to mankind
Seriously, Lucifer may come and check on ya’ll helicopter mom
Asks what you do and don’t like about it
He just wants you to feel as fantastic as he does when using it
Everyone will know you used his shampoo, He brings it up in every conversation
Would also 100% ask you to use his bath products 24/7
Beel
Now Beel has never been really into insane products like Asmo or Luci
So he may not really recognize it at first
If you decide to tell him, This man will become a happy demon puddle
He’ll give you a big smile and tell you you’re free to use any of his stuff at anytime
We don’t deserve Beel
Will bury his face into your hair and just stay there
Takes you out to Hell’s kitchen that night just because he loves you so much
Belphie
Oh this little shit
Tease! He won’t quit bragging!!
Smug 3.0
Such a brat about it too, He won’t let anybody near you, Well of course he’d let Beel, but who wouldn't?
He has practically locked you up in the attic with him
Why go outside when ya’ll can cuddle? 
Diavolo
Has really expensive products 
He may even have a custom scent
If so, He’ll know instantly that you’ve used his shampoo
He’ll bring it up with a large grin on his face
When you confirm his suspicions, he’ll just laugh
He’s so happy ya’ll are close enough to share things like that, You have no idea!
He may make a sly comment to Barbatos or Lucifer just because he’s a little possessive
Will follow you around like a lost puppy, Now Barbatos is mad at you because even less of his work is done
He can’t help it! He just loves you!
Will be the third on my list to offer ya’ll to just share bath products
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just4koo · 6 months
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perfect for you - jjk.
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summary: it’s so rare that your boyfriend makes a mistake. so when he does, it’s a hard reminder for both of you that he’s not perfect, he’s human. but if anything, he’s perfect for you.
word count: 3.1k
genre/warnings: established relationship, angst, comfort, both jk and reader are whipped for each other!!, a lot of self-deprecating thoughts, it has a cute ending but hurts my heart (most of it is just jk feeling shitty for his mistake) :(
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There was one thing your boyfriend hated most in the world, and it was seeing you upset. Whether it was for something simple like the gas station being out of your go-to drink or something much worse - if he was the reason. You were the light of his life, and just seeing a frown on your pretty face was enough to make his heart shatter into millions of pieces.
That's why he always did everything in his power to keep you happy. Surprise you every week with one of your favorite snacks, leave a bouquet of flowers at your work desk, cook you your favorite dinner. He did it all just so he could keep you happy. Because when you were happy, everything was right in his world.
Tonight had been one of the nights he was planning on having a small date with you. The new horror movie that you had been raving about was finally out on streaming services and you had been looking forward to this movie night for the whole week. You even decided to take off work a couple hours early because this time you wanted to be the one to treat your boyfriend.
He was always the giver of the relationship. Even though you felt bad many times because you felt like you didn't give nearly as much as he did, he was always there to console you. Reassure you that receiving your love was the only gift he could ever want.
Even though you hated to admit it, sometimes it was hard to remember that your boyfriend of 2 years isn't perfect. He makes mistakes too, and that's completely fine. It's just hard to face.
You were excited for the evening when you got the text from Jungkook that he was on the way to his boxing lesson and would be back home in an hour and a half. Your boyfriend was definitely a busy man, but that never once bothered you. He put so much passion and work into his profession, he deserved everything he'd earned up to his day. So besides the fact that you were a little dejected when he added boxing lessons onto his long list of things to do, you supported him just like you always did. After all, no matter how many things he’d taken onto his plate, he always found a spot to fit you in. Made one if he had to.
When you received the text you were in the middle of setting up the house. You may have taken the idea of treating him a bit overboard, but you didn't care. This was only a portion of what he did for you, and you could spontaneously treat him just like he did with you. You weren't doing anything too extravagant, but you wanted to have a nice night in with him.
You took the liberty of cooking your own food instead of ordering out, which had been a bit of a challenge. After almost burning yourself with the oil more than just a few times, the fried chicken had turned out a beautiful golden brown. You spent the time searching through the internet to find the perfect sauce recipe that replicated one from his favorite fried chicken restaurant.
You had even decided to set up a cozy setup on the couch. Laying out fuzzy blankets along with snacks you had gotten from the convenience store down the street, you were pretty much ready for a long night in with your boyfriend. Due to your flexible workdays, you went in fairly late the next day so you could stay up late to watch the movie and maybe even a couple episodes of the true crime series you had both got invested in. You knew that he would want to take a shower when he got back from his boxing practice so you even laid out a fresh towel and pair of pajamas for him in the bathroom so he wouldn't have to do any unnecessary work.
You finished the food right on the dot, at the exact time that he always came back from his practices. You sat down on the couch with a content smile. The air smelled of the delicious fried chicken that you had set out on two different plates and the movie was pulled up on the TV.
All you had to do at this point was wait for your handsome boyfriend to come through the door so you could finally give him some of the treatment that he always graced you with. You glanced down at your phone to slightly frown at the time. It was 10 minutes past when he usually came home, but you decided to just shrug it off. It was a Friday and traffic got bad sometimes.
That was the excuse that you tried to use until the time had soon hit 9:30. You were borderline worried at this point, because there were no texts from him or updates on anything that was happening. You were wondering if he was even safe at this point, but the worry had faded away when you checked and confirmed that he was still at the gym. Sometimes you felt a bit bad for invading his privacy and checking his phone location, but in situations like this you couldn't help yourself. You never doubted him or his loyalty, but this was just a matter of concern.
When the clock hit 9:55, you were instead becoming upset. He was almost an hour late on coming home and there had been no texts or calls from him telling you why he was at the gym this late. His phone was obviously on, you had even sent a couple of texts asking if he was alright. All to receive no reply from him.
Did he really not remember? Not even after you had spent the whole week only talking about this one night and how much you were looking forward to this? You would be a bit less upset if he even bothered to text you and tell you why he was running so late, but you had received no communication.
It was when 10:15 hit that you were done waiting. You had grown too upset over this, and sitting on the couch while blinking away your tears wasn't going to fix anything. After eating your plate of the now slightly soggy fried chicken you had made over an hour ago, you were retiring to the bedroom.
If he wanted to be over an hour late home and not text you once, he could come home to a quiet house. With a shaky sigh you slipped off the matching pajamas you had been waiting to wear and instead changed into one of your oversized sleep shirts before crawling into the cold bed and curling up with a pillow, shutting your eyes.
--
Jungkook knew he fucked up. It was something that he usually never did when it came to you because being the cause of your distress was the last thing he would ever want. He had been so stressed with his upcoming photoshoots for his solo dropping in a month that he had been spending extra time at the gym. He wanted to be in shape for the photoshoots, especially since it had been long since he had any major media uploads.
After spending around 6 months being inactive while his older bandmates had gone to the military, he had fallen out of his normal habits. Not that he gained a huge amount of weight, he just wasn't satisfied with how the break changed him. Which was the reason he had spent so much time at the gym.
Not that he was ever expecting to spend an extra hour at the gym. He hadn't meant to, getting distracted in all the drills that his instructor was teaching him. He should've trusted the off feeling in his gut when it came, telling him that he had forgotten something.
There was one major problem with this gym he went to - the service absolutely sucked. After hitting send on a text at 9:00 that he would be spending extra time at the gym, he hadn't spent the few seconds to make sure the text went through and therefore missed the error on the screen. Even though the bad reception wasn't his fault, his heart still dropped when he left the gym and saw his notifications.
At first he wasn't that worried because he remembered the terrible reception, but then it dawned on him. One of the texts you sent him had something about you waiting with the movie ready. His eyes widened as he looked at the screen and he could physically feel his heart dropping to his stomach.
How could he forget? You had been talking about this date night all week, saying it was the one thing you were looking forward to it. And he forgot all about it and instead to take extra time at the gym. Without even letting you know, because the stupid message didn't even send through.
After he read your messages he was instantly sending replies, hurried apologies and telling you that he would be home soon. He practically sprinted to his car and threw his gym bag into the passenger seat, barely taking the time to buckle up before he sped off.
His mind was racing at the moment, beating himself down for forgetting. Since messing up was something that Jungkook practically never did, whenever he made a mistake he was always beating himself up for it. Repeatedly calling himself a dumbass as he sped through the streets at 10:40.
He had rushed so much that he left his bag in the car, only grabbing his keys and phone before jamming on the elevator button and impatiently waiting for it to arrive. His foot was repeatedly tapping on the floor, one of his most common displays of distress and anxiety. After what seemed like a 5 minute elevator ride, he was hurriedly running down the hallway and apologizing for almost full on bulldozing a lady who was going the opposite way. He jammed the keys into the door and opened it, his eyes immediately searching for you.
If possible, his heart dropped even more when he saw the scene in front of him. The dim lights were still on as he took in everything you spent time to set up. The blankets on the couch, the movie still pulled up on the TV, the food. His heart was slowly but shattering as he realized that you did this all for him. He even noticed the oil fryer sitting on the kitchen counter with the two plates of next to it, only one plate full. You had even cooked for him? He knew how terrified you were of using the oil frier due to your many attempts at making fries that just ended up in him being forced to handle it.
The most important thing to him at the moment however was the absence of you. You weren't sitting on the couch, standing in the kitchen, or even glaring at him when he came into the house. That was what scared him shitless. After carelessly dropping his keys and phone onto the kitchen counter and slipping off his shoes he was walking straight to the bedroom. Every time he looked at a new spot, he was feeling more and more shitty. You had prepared all of this for him and he basically stood you up.
His frown deepened when he walked into the dark bedroom and made out your figure laying down in the bed cuddling a pillow. You had to go to sleep while hugging something, and that something was usually Jungkook. But tonight you had to use the pillow instead of him because he wasn't there. It should be him holding you right now, but he had missed all of this just because he was worrying about his appearance rather than being with the one person who had full access to his heart and soul.
The only thing on his mind right now was apologizing to you. Telling you that he was an idiot and neglected the most important person in his life. But when he saw your even breathing he paused a bit, heaving a quiet sigh. He was conflicted right now. He didn't want to disturb you, but at the same time he didn't want you waking up the next morning and realizing that he came home and didn't try to apologize to you.
So instead he decided to do something that he knew might wake you up. Whenever he came home late at night from his schedules, you'd always get woken up by him running the shower. Most nights you'd join him, massaging any of the tension he'd collected that day.
He walked into the bathroom and once again winced when he saw the towel and pair of pajamas that you'd laid out for him. It was one of the matching pairs you got for them. Something cheesy you did that he pretended to hate but secretly loved. His bottom lip was slightly quivering when he turned the shower water on and proceeded to get in to wash himself.
A huge part of him was hoping that he would hear the shower door open or feel your gentle hands on his shoulders. But after 10 minutes, nothing happened. So he just decided to get out of the shower and dry himself on, only putting on his boxers since it was usually what he wore to sleep.
Even though you hadn't come to join him in the shower, he could tell that his plan partially worked. Your breathing was no longer leveled out and your position had slightly changed, meaning that you woke up. He could also see a glimpse of your face and your eyes were halfway opened.
He knew that now was his chance to apologize to you for being a shitty boyfriend and forgetting the date that you had planned. He was fully prepared to beg for your forgiveness if he had to, get on his knees, anything. He just didn't want you to be upset or angry.
He slowly sat down on the bed, moving closer towards you as he got under the covers. He cautiously laid a hand on your shoulder and almost let out a sigh of relief when you didn't move or hit his hand away. At least you weren't angry with him.
But he thought that this was worse. You were upset with him, and that meant that you had probably cried. He took your lack of a reaction as an okay to move a bit closer - and so he did. He moved to where he was right behind you, his hand beginning to softly caress the skin of your shoulder.
"Hey Princess, you awake? I'm sorry that I woke you up, but I just wanted to apologize. I know that you don't deserve excuses, and I don't want to give you any. It was completely my fault for forgetting about this date night and I'm so sorry. I know that you've been so excited about this all week and it slipped my mind. I'm so sorry." Jungkook said in one of the most gentlest, softest voices. He was waiting in anticipation for your answer, but felt any hope dissipate from your lack of answer. He fucked up big time, and he felt like he deserved a worst boyfriend ever award.
Knowing better than to push you when you were upset with him, he just settled for placing a small kiss on your shoulder before he moved back to his side of the bed. He stared at the ceiling for a while, wondering if you even wanted him to be in there. He thought that if you didn't want to communicate with him, then you probably wanted your alone time and him to not be in the same room as you.
He was about to get out of the bed to go walk to the living room when he was surprised by a movement from your side of the bed. He was frozen in place when he felt the warmth of your body on his side, one of your arms wrapping around him and your head moving to rest on his chest.
"It's fine." You mumbled simply, which was enough to lift all of the weight off of Jungkook's shoulders and make him feel like he was floating. You weren't ignoring him, and you were the one to reach for him. Even if the tear stains on your cheeks did nothing but make his heart constrict, he pushed any of those feelings away.
He decided against his better judgement to not say anything in response and just hold you. He had already apologized, and you accepted it. He didn't need to say anything else, and so he just wrapped his arms around you. Pulling you closer to him and closing his eyes to fall asleep once he felt your breathing even out once again.
--
It had been hard the night before to stop Jungkook from leaving the bed. You could tell what had been going through his head at the moment and you hated it. The only thing that you didn't like about Jungkook was how hard he was on himself. Not only when it came to work, but also when it came to personal matters.
He was a perfectionist to the core. There had been so many times you had been called by his managers because you were the only one who could drag him out of the practice room. Too many times you had caught him in the bathroom frowning at himself or crying because of a mistake he made on stage.
Your boyfriend only wanted what was best for his fans, to prove to himself and others that he was skilled. So you could tell just from Jungkook's tone and words that he was beating himself up for what he did. He barely ever made mistakes.
There was only one other occasion you could think of a mistake he made before in the three years you had been dating him and 5 years you had known him before that. The only reason that you had been initially so upset was because of this. He never made mistakes, so it was sort of a shock to your system when he did this.
But you had to remind yourself that no matter how perfect he presented himself, your boyfriend was a human. Humans have flaws and make mistakes. Nobody is perfect no matter how hard you try. You had made way more mistakes than he had and each time he was the one comforting you instead of the other way around. Your boyfriend wasn't perfect, but he was perfect for you. You loved him with all of your heart just as he loved you.
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jaylaxies · 7 months
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PERVERT!HEESEUNG
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genre/cw: pervert!heeseung, smut, best friends au, slight dubcon (recording and clicking pictures)
warning: 18+ content, minors dni
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Pervert!Heeseung who’s your best friend, which is why you trust him, which also gives him the full liberty to crash at your place all day and night, it’s like his second home, giving him the full opportunity to spend his time with you. But sadly, he’s not a saint, head full of filth as he openly dreams about having your pretty lips wrapped around his cock, imagining how good you’d feel pressed against him, which he does too by offering to cuddle with you, his fingers caressing your body in a subtle manner, his hugs prolonged and eyes always on your body.
Pervert!Heeseung who’s got a whole section to himself in your closet. So whenever he goes in to change his clothes, he makes sure to grab your panties alongside, especially the lacy or silky ones which would feel perfect wrapped around his cock, and somehow you don’t ever pay attention to your missing panties. Sometimes, he picks the soiled ones up from your laundry basket because he loves how it smells like you, which makes him harder, needier for you.
Pervert!Heeseung who loves to take photographs in general, so you don’t suspect a thing when you find him clicking random shots at your place, not knowing that he sneakily clicks your pictures when you bend down or wear that top of yours, which does nothing to hide your tits. He’s got a secret folder full of your pictures, and he’s got zero shame as he uses the pictures when he jerks off under your roof in the guest bedroom.
Pervert!Heeseung who reaches a new low each time. He gets annoyed when you bring your new boyfriend back home, but that doesn’t stop his mind from producing lewd thoughts, rather, he loves how you moan and whimper in the room next to his. He so desperately wishes for you to moan out his name instead of your boyfriend’s as he takes out your panties covered in his cum, using it to get off to your pretty moans.
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stayinlimbo · 1 month
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cat walk
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pairing: lee minho x reader ft. soondoongdori requested?: yes; 100 followers celebration genre/warnings: established relationship, fluff, i am only using my own cat experience, lowercase intended, slightly unedited word count: 935 note: thank you @infinity-tiny for the request. i definitely took some creative liberties with it but i hope you still like it ♡
if anyone had asked minho what he thought he’d arrive home to on a seemingly normal friday evening, he probably would’ve described his typical welcoming committee consisting of you shouting out a “hey min!” from somewhere in the living room or kitchen, and, if he was lucky, his cats poking out from their usual hiding spots to greet him. 
it most certainly wouldn’t have been this, yet here we are. 
minho’s hand hasn’t even released the front door handle before soonie’s pleading eyes bore holes into his soul. the cat’s large body is draped comfortably over your shoulder, but minho can tell that soonie would rather be literally anywhere else than where he currently is.  
the sound of rustling diverts minho’s attention towards the ground next to your feet. doongie’s sprawled out form rubs against a pair of shoes strewn to the side of the entryway as he noisily meows at the sight of his owner’s (father’s) figure barely stepping past the threshold. 
minho flicks his eyes back up as soft clicking noises reverberate around the narrow hallway, watching the final child hesitantly making his way towards your free, outstretched hand holding his favorite treat. 
“what are you doing?”
dori’s cautious steps halt at minho’s voice, making you quietly groan out in frustration.
“hey min, happy to see you, now shhh for a minute please,” you hastily whisper, gaze focused on the brown tabby. the soft clicking resumes and dori finally comes close enough for you to scoop him up in your arms alongside his older brother. 
you whirl around to face your boyfriend, who at long last has properly entered the house and closed the door. a radiant grin illuminates your face at the sight of him. if minho’s being honest, it tugs at his heartstrings a bit. you missed him and you’re so happy to see–
“hold soonie and dori for me, will you? i need to grab this bag real quick,” you rush out, not giving him much of a choice as you’re already transferring the two cats into his arms. 
okay, so maybe not. 
minho watches you jog over to a bag he didn’t see at the end of the hall, laughing at the tiny slip in your footing when you turn around to come back towards him. you plop down next to doongie, giving him a quick pet before fishing in the bag and pulling out a leash and a cat-sized reflective vest.
hold up. 
“you didn’t,” minho blanches, watching you put doongie’s head and paws through the green vest’s openings, hooking the leash to the rings that are now attached to the cat’s back.
“i did. soonie,” you reply, reaching up for your next (unwilling) participant. minho crouches down next to you, reluctantly complying with your demands. 
“you’re going out now?” he questions. poor soonie is not as cooperative as his younger brother, and it takes everything within minho to not save him out of pity for what is to come. 
“yes, they’re more frisky in the evening—dori—so i thought ‘why not?’”
“but it’s dark outside,” minho tries to reason, passing you the final feline. it’s of no use, you are too far gone. 
“that’s what the reflective vests are for. duh,” you counter, rolling your eyes with a fond smile as you let dori leap out of your hold. “there, don’t they look ready for the outdoors?”
the cats are all sprawled in different positions on the floor. soonie still looks like he’d rather be anywhere else, doongie is preoccupied with swatting the bag now, and if dori could make himself any smaller, he would turn into a perfectly shaped ball. 
no, ready isn’t the word minho would use. 
you must see the hesitance still lingering behind his eyes because  this time you sift through the bag to retrieve a human-sized reflective vest and pull it over your sweatshirt. 
“if it makes you feel any better, i’ll be wearing this the entire time with them to be extra safe. please, please, please let me try this,” you beg, looking at him with your best imploring eyes. 
minho has to give it to you, you’ve gotten better at this. you must’ve been practicing after the last time he told you “no” to something he can’t even remember at this point. 
he lets out a sigh at your unwavering gaze, finally giving in to your pleas. “...did you at least get me one?”
“of course i did, who do you think i am?” you scoff lightly, digging through the bag and extending your hand towards him with his very own green reflective vest. 
as minho slips on what, in his opinion, is the ugliest vest he’s ever seen in his life, he can’t help the smile blooming on his face growing wider. although this may be one of the weirdest methods (and he means it) you’ve used to get the family all together, he can see the commitment and energy you put into making sure everyone would be safe. 
you don’t need to know right now that he tried this years before he met you and that the cats will give up entirely about ten steps away from the walkway. he’ll let you discover that on your own. 
and as you call “hurry up, let’s go!” to him halfway out the door with soonie and dori in your arms, doongie trailing slowly by your feet trying to bite the loose leash dangling in front of his face, minho knows he wouldn’t trade this for the world. not when he has the ones he loves most all in one place.
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liked this work? want to let me know how i did? please like, comment, and/or reblog; they are greatly appreciated my asks are always open ♡
taglist: @linospuddin @linocz
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brattysuki · 9 days
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spoiled || paige bueckers
In which Paige loves to take you shopping and buy you anything you want, so long as you thank her properly.
a/n: hello everyone <3 this is my first fic for the wbb community so I hope you all enjoy it!
pairing: pro league!paige bueckers x f!reader
word count: 4.2k I might’ve gotten carried away oops
genre: pwp, smut 18+ only please
warnings: public sex, fingering, cunnilingus, daddy kink, choking, finger sucking, degrading pet names (slut), daddy kink, slapping, ass eating (Paige is an ass eater, you can fight me on this)
“Baby, are you done yet? I wanna get going before traffic gets too heavy.” Paige called out from the bedroom.
You looked over yourself once more in the mirror. Hair? Flawless. Makeup? Dewy. Outfit? Just the right amount of slutty. You were definitely ready. Spraying on some of your favorite perfume, you walked out of the bathroom to meet your girlfriend who waited for you at the edge of the bed.
“Ready, baby.” You smiled, sitting on her lap and kissing her, leaving behind a trace of your fruity lip oil.
Paige licked her lips and inhaled softly, “Smell so good, I might just eat you up.”
“Taste good too.” You smirked before getting up and leaving her to find your shoes in the hallway.
Your girlfriend was quick to follow, shaking her head as she followed behind you, slapping your ass as you bent over to buckle your heels. She grinned at you and handed you your purse. You took it with a smile, leaning in to kiss her.
“Thank you, baby.”
“No problem, princess,” Paige grabbed her keys from the key rack, opening the door for you, “after you.”
— — —
Baby, pa' mí es normal (Ujum), toa' las tienda' reservada'
'Toy a dieta, pero el consumo de ropa alto en grasa, ey
Upon arriving at the mall, Paige held the front door open for you after greeting the usual security guard. He smiled as he locked the doors behind us, reporting into his radio.
“Just us today?” You asked, noticing the odd silence of the shopping mall.
Paige grinned, “Of course, baby. I took the liberty of reserving the entire mall for you today. Can’t have my girl getting distracted during your shopping spree now can I?”
“You spoil me too much.” You blush, taking her hand in yours.
The blonde wore a fake puzzled look on her face, “Me? Spoil you? Nah, baby, this is the minimum of what you deserve.”
The two of you walked around the empty shopping mall, browsing store after store. Despite having the place to yourselves, you couldn’t quite get into the mood of shopping. Instead you found yourself bored and frustrated. An hour had passed by and nothing had yet caught your attention, plus, you were starting to feel an annoying grumble in your stomach.
You huffed as you crossed your arms over each other, pouting at your girlfriend, “I don’t see anything I like.”
“Want some ice cream? Maybe once you’ve had a snack you’ll have some more energy to shop around.” Paige suggested.
She knew better than to ignore your obvious early signs of hangriness, last time she had ignored them, it resulted with you crying over the smallest inconvenience. After nodding in agreement, you followed her to your favorite ice cream stand in the mall. Paige ordered your usual order of a single scoop of vanilla with fresh fruit as toppings as well as a mint chip waffle cone for herself.
“Want me to pay?” You offered, handing her your wallet.
Paige smirked and gently pushed it away, “Don’t worry, baby. Daddy’s got it.”
Your face went hot as you stared at her, feeling sorry for the poor cashier who had to witness her cheesy attempts at flirting. Your girlfriend hands the worker a twenty dollar bill and gladly receives the two sweet treats, insisting the teenage cashier keeps the change as a tip. After grabbing a few napkins and a spoon, Paige found a quiet corner in the mall for you both to enjoy your ice cream.
You sat down on the plush seat cushion, happily digging into your ice cream. Shoving a spoonful of the frozen dessert into your mouth, you hummed out, “Fank you, baby.”
Paige tilted your chin up to look at her as she sat next to you, “‘s rude to talk with your mouth full ya know. Where’s those manners I taught you, hm?”
A rush of heat washed over your body as you swallowed your mouthful, reminiscing all the other times she’d repeated that phrase to you during not so innocent times. You frowned at her, those intimidating blue eyes intently looking you over as she waited for the correct response to slip past your lips.
“Oh hush, you’re not the boss of me.” You teased, giggling at the way her brows furrowed in frustration.
Paige’s grip on your chin tightened just enough for you to let out a small whine, “Sorry, I don’t quite think that’s how you speak to your girlfriend who has brought you out for a shopping spree. Now, only good girls get gifts. Do you want to know what bad girls get?”
You swallowed thickly, squirming ever so slightly in your seat, “What?”
The blonde leaned down to lick your ear before whispering, “Bad girls get punishments. Do you want to be punished?”
“No…”
A small bite down on your neck warned you that you had one more try to drop the attitude before there were serious consequences.
“No, daddy. I’ll be good for you, promise.” You whispered, shakily shoving another spoonful of ice cream into your mouth so as to not draw too much attention to yourselves.
Paige smiled, “That’s what I thought. Now let’s finish these so we can get back to shopping, yeah?”
Soon after finishing your ice creams, you had found several items that had caught your attention. A new purse to match the dress Paige had bought you last week as well as the matching wallet. The perfume you’d been eyeing for the past month, of course you’d get the perfume set. Who could forget the newest addition to your ever growing jewelry collection, a sparkly diamond bracelet. From an outside perspective, it may have seemed that you were materialistic for adding to the list of items that Paige had cashed out for you— but that couldn’t possibly be further from the truth. Your girlfriend truly loved to spend her hard earned cash on you, a form of gratitude for all the years of unconditional love and support that you had given her throughout the years. You had done more for her than she could even fathom, there were no words to describe how much you meant to her. So she opted to spoil you with all the things you loved and share her wealth with you, after all, without you, there’s no telling where she’d be.
— — —
Booty tight, no quepo en los True Religion (Goddamn)
(¿Cuál es tu size? Que son limited edition)
Dinero hay (Tiene cash), damn right (Duh?)
“Baby, what do you think of this dress?” You held up a beautiful long black dress with a gold chain strap to your body.
Paige observed, feeling the fabric and humming, “It’s pretty, baby. I’m sure it’ll look amazing on you. Do you want it?”
You paused to think, eyeing the several bags hung on your girlfriend’s arms, “Can I try it on first?”
The store employee nodded invitingly, “Of course you can! Let me show you to our dressing room, please feel free to try on as many items as you’d like.”
Paige nodded, allowing you to walk in front of her as the kind worker showed you to a spacious dressing room in the far end of the store. It was so big it could be mistaken for your walk-in closet at home. The tall blonde set down your bags in a corner of the room, smiling at the employee and thanking her once more.
“I’ll let you go ahead and take your time with this gorgeous dress, let me know if you need anything.” She smiled before excusing herself back to the front of the store.
You dropped onto the couch against the back wall of the dressing room, yawning as if you’d just gotten off your third graveyard shift in a row.
Paige shook her head before sitting beside you, gently placing your legs into her lap, “You act like you’ve been doing such gruesome, tiring work. I’m the one doing all the heavy lifting, ya know.”
“My head hurts from all this decision making. Do you know how hard it was for me to decide between which three purses I wanted from that Bottega earlier?” You teased, leaning back onto the arm of the couch into a somewhat lying position.
The blonde’s warm hands sneakily made their way up the dress you were wearing, massaging your legs, “I know, baby. You’re probably so tired of thinking aren’t you?”
“Mhm.” You pouted at her.
“Well, then how about you just stop thinking and let daddy take care of you, yeah? How’s that sound?” Paige suggested, bringing her hand back down to your ankle and bringing it up for a gentle kiss.
You smiled, standing up in front of her and lifting your dress over your head to leave you completely bare minus the black heels you were wearing. “Well, I am gonna need help trying on this dress.”
Paige instinctively reached for your breasts, massaging them before playfully pinching your tender nipples, “Naughty girl, how come you aren’t wearing any underwear?”
“I know how much you appreciate having easy access.” You winked, grabbing the limited edition black dress and slipping it on.
The dress was incredibly soft, rubbing your nipples deliciously as you pulled it down past your hips. The gold chain straps cold against your warm skin, expensive black fabric pooling just above your ankles. You stepped back and turned away from your girlfriend, gesturing for her to help with the clasp on the chains to hold the dress up. Paige stood behind you, securing the straps in place before running her giant hands over your chest. Goosebumps raised over your skin as she leaned down to kiss your neck, massaging your pillowy tits, fingers teasing to pull down the cowl neckline of the dress.
“So naughty today baby, what’s gotten into you?” She kissed her teeth, keeping one hand on your breast as the other snaked down to push your hips back against hers.
You let out a whimper, “N-nothing, just wanted to look pretty in some new clothes for you.”
Paige pulled your tits free from the slinky material of the dress, turning you around to get a good look at what was hers. Your glowing skin, your captivating beauty, and your luscious hair that she loved to pull on. You were a goddess if she’d ever seen one. The dim lighting in the dressing room was absolutely working in your favor, though, Paige couldn’t think of a time where you’ve ever looked less than perfect. Her hands run down your back, leaving behind a burning sensation on your skin before settling on the roundness of your ass which she loved so much. The dress sculpted you perfectly, hugging you as if it were made for you.
“Spin for me.” She ordered, squeezing once before gently shoving you a step back.
You obediently followed her orders, giving her a full turn to appreciate just how perfectly the dress fit you.
Paige groaned as she leaned back onto the couch, “Yeah… we’re definitely buying you this dress— in all the colors.”
“What about the matching heels? They only made so many of them and I’ll be so, so sad if I don’t have a pair,” you pouted, taking the opportunity to sit on her lap and loosely hang your arms around her neck, “I promise I’ll be on my best behavior, daddy.”
Paige felt a surge of wetness in between her thighs, rough hands lifting up your dress to pool around your waist. She placed a playful smack on your ass, reveling in your cute squeal. You felt far too warm for your comfort in between your thighs and couldn’t help but to grind down on her, sighing at the slight pressure on your bare pussy.
“Get on your knees, now.” The blonde ordered, shoving you off her lap but not before placing a loving kiss on your lips.
“Yes, baby.” You knelt before her on the cold floor, sitting on your heels with your hands on her knees.
Paige unbuttoned her pants, “Finish taking these off for me, slut.”
Your hands were quick to undress her lower half, tugging down her jeans and boxers all the way off before setting them down in a nice pile beside her on the couch. You salivated at the sight before you, the most delicious, prettiest, and wettest pussy you’d ever had the pleasure of experiencing— though it was worth noting that it was all the only pussy you’d ever had. Of course, with the way you maneuvered your tongue, Paige had a hard time seriously believing you were a full virgin when you had first met.
“Make me cum, then maybe I’ll let you cum too.” Paige spread her legs, revealing herself to you in all her glory.
“Yes, daddy.” You nodded, spreading her legs further ever so slightly.
You dragged your tongue from her dripping entrance all the way up to her throbbing clit which was just begging to be sucked. Paige let out a quiet sigh, adjusting herself on the couch and scooting closer to your face. You moaned at the taste of her wetness on your tongue, determined to get some more out of her. A trickle of your own nectar had begun to drip down your thigh as well, a reminder of what your true goal was. The warmth of your soft tongue had Paige’s eyes fluttering shut as she tilted her head back to rest on the back of the couch, one hand pressing your face further into her cunt. You began to lick up and down more fervently, occasionally shaking your head side to side.
“Such a good little slut for daddy, you always look so pretty like this. Do you like how I taste baby? It’s all for you.” Paige cooed, looking down at you, gathering your hair out of your face.
You tried to pull away to respond to her, but to no avail. Her grip on your head was too strong, forcing you to speak against her wet pussy, the vibration causing her to shudder. “Mhm— I love it fo mufth.”
Your girlfriend smirked at your weak attempts to speak clearly, “It’s rude to talk with your mouth full, remember? Why don’t you try again for me, baby?”
A muffled whine sounded from your wet lips, “I love it fo mufth!”
Paige cut you some slack, loosening her grip on your hair to tug you back harshly, shoving her fingers into your mouth. You gagged around them as drool slipped past the corners of your lips, teary eyes staring back at your girlfriend. You blinked them away as you sucked on her long fingers, bobbing your head as if you were sucking on her strap that you were desperately craving. Her wet hand slapped your cheek with just enough force to leave a slight sting, a wicked grin on her face.
“That’s what you get for speaking with your mouth full, now get back to work. Wouldn’t want the kind lady wondering why we’re taking so long. Then she’d know just how much of a fucking dirty slut you are for eating my pussy in public.”
You shook your head with wide eyes, “N-no!”
Paige shoved your face into her wet cunt once more, bucking her hips up at the sensation of your lips kissing her clit. You flattened your tongue against her and curled the tip of your tongue to catch on her clit with every lick. Her wetness coated the entire lower half of your face, glistening under the warm lights. You knew you didn’t have much time before the store worker would come back checking in on the both of you, so you picked up the pace and began to solely focus on her bundle of nerves.
“Please, daddy,” you looked up at her with doe eyes, “wanna taste your cum. Need you to cum all over my face, please?”
“Ah, fuck. Just like that baby, eat that fucking pussy, baby.” Paige’s legs began to tremble around your head, abs tensing underneath her shirt.
You hummed against her, shaking your head side to side and licking at the spot you knew would surely make her fold. The adrenaline of the risk of getting caught motivated you to go even faster, obscene wet sounds filling the room.
“Cum for me, baby.” You moaned.
Paige bit down on her hand as she bucked up into your mouth, desperately seeking her release as the burning knot in her stomach got tighter and tighter. The sight of you diving into her with zero regard for the consequences of getting caught, solely intent on bringing her to climax turned her on in more ways than she could count. You looked so pretty on your knees, tits bouncing with each bob of your head— nipple piercings sparkling almost as bright as the glimmer in your eyes when you looked at her. The blonde couldn’t hold back any longer, not when you looked at her with such innocence— contradicting the sinfulness of your actions. She held your head in place as her hips bucked uncontrollably against your mouth, strangled moans slipping past her lips as she shut her eyes in pure bliss.
“C-cumming, baby. Fuckfuckfuck!” Paige groaned, her pretty lips parting open with a silent cry as she came all over your tongue.
Her cum gushed out, coating your tongue with her sweetness that you had been craving all this time. You continued to lick her until she had finally come down from her high, hands releasing your hair and gently pulling you off. Your girlfriend always looked so pretty right after an orgasm— face flushed pink, eyes slightly teary, and chest heaving as she struggled to calm herself down. You reached over for your purse, grabbing your water bottle and handing it to her which she kindly accepted.
“You okay?” You tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, sitting down beside her.
Your girlfriend nodded slowly, “Yeah, it’s just that- you have a fucking blessing.”
Paige passed you the water before directing you to take a few sips, “Now it’s my turn to have some fun.”
You bit your lip as you put the water bottle back in your purse, turning to look at your girlfriend. Your eyes widened at the sight of her now fully naked, pale skin just begging to be marked. Her lean frame pushed you onto your back, you gladly welcomed her on top of you, your hands roaming the soft skin of her toned back. Your acrylics dug into her skin hard enough to draw a hiss from her lips and maybe leave a red mark or two.
“You look so hot when you’re on top of me.” you smiled at her.
The blonde leaned in for a kiss, biting your bottom lip as you wrapped your legs around her. You felt yourself melt into the kiss, heart beating at a thousand miles per hour as she nudged her knee against your pussy. Your skin felt as it was on fire, aching for the slightest touch.
You broke the kiss, “Baby, please. I can’t wait any longer.”
Paige smirked, “What do you need? Use your words, slut.”
“Need you to make me cum… I’ve been good.”
“Use. Your. Words.” Paige’s hand wrapped around your throat as a warning, “or am I not being clear enough with my orders?”
You batted your lashes at your girlfriend, her gold chain dangling in your face, “Want you to eat my pussy please, daddy.”
“Of course, princess. Since you’ve been so good for me,” She flipped you onto all fours, pushing your face into the couch cushion and leaned over you to whisper in your ear, “Been dying to taste you since before we left the house.”
Paige then sat back on her heels, big hands firmly planted on your ass to spread you wide open. She licked her lips at the sight of your pretty tight hole puckering back at her. Desire and temptation ruling over her, she couldn’t help but to sink her teeth into your soft skin. You let out a whine and jolted forward in pain, though that only spurred her on to smack your ass.
You wiggled impatiently, “Paigeee, come on. No more teasing.”
Finally, she placed a soft kiss onto your dripping hole. Her tongue expertly licked around your folds, collecting every drop of your sweet, sweet, candy. You sighed in relief as you pushed yourself back, her face engulfed by the globes of your ass. Paige moaned as she pulled your hips closer, fat tongue licking you up and down passionately. There was not a centimeter left untouched by her. You felt her tongue probe at your entrance before slipping in, the warm muscle thrusting in and out as she brought a hand down to rub your clit. You couldn’t help but shake your ass on her face as you felt your eyes roll back at the pleasure. Small gasps fell from your mouth, legs quivering.
“Hello? Everything alright in there? Do you guys need anything? Perhaps a different size?” The store worker knocked on the door, causing the hairs on the back of your neck to raise.
Paige pulled away to whisper, “Answer her, baby.”
“Y-yes! We-uh, I would like to try this dress on in pink as well please! T-thank you.” You called out, fighting back all the whimpers you so desperately wanted to let out as Paige inserted a finger into your sopping cunt.
“Very well then, I’ll bring that right away.” The click of her heels faded away in the distance.
Paige’s long fingers fucked you deliciously, hitting that sweet spot with every single pump. Her tongue poked at your puckered hole, circling it teasingly. You let out a whine as she licked you from top to bottom, wiggling as a silent request for more.
“Throw that ass back, baby. Let daddy see what a slut you are.”
You obeyed, of course you did. How could you not when she had you on cloud nine? Your hips had a mind of their own, throwing it back as if your life depended on it. Paige’s own moans were muffled by your wet folds, licking them up and down feverishly as she continued to fuck you with her slender fingers. Her tongue played with your clit as you began to shake, signaling you were close.
“D-daddy, faster please!” You whined, feeling yourself teetering over the edge.
Paige grunted as she curled her fingers downward, causing you to nearly cry out for her. You bit your lip as she continued to abuse your poor cunt, claiming it as hers over and over again. It felt like the room was spinning, your stomach clenching as she slurped and made the most ungodly sounds. Your girlfriend shoved in a third finger, stretching you just enough to push you over the edge. Her free hand rubbed at your clit, mouth catching the mini spurts of fluid spraying from your pussy.
“That’s it, cum for daddy.” She cooed, slowing down her movements as you fell flat on your stomach.
“Fuck…” you croaked out, feeling the familiar throb in between your legs.
Paige rubbed your back soothingly, waiting for you to come back down to earth. She reached for your purse and grabbed some of your personal wet wipes—which you always kept on hand in case of an emergency— and gently wiped you down, being mindful of your sensitivity. Once assuring you were cleaned up, she cleaned herself up as well, handing you your dress before slipping back into her own clothes. After a few moments, you finally mustered up the energy to dress yourself and lean against your girlfriend.
“I love you, you know that right?” She tilted your face up to look at her.
You smiled at her, “I know. I love you too, Paige.”
A knock sounded against the dressing room door, “Excuse me, I’ve brought you the dress you requested. I’ll leave it hanging outside the door!”
Your girlfriend interjected, “Actually, if its not too much of a bother, would you mind bringing the dress in every color you have available to the counter? We’ll be taking all of them.”
“Pai-“ you furrowed your brows.
“Shh, let me.” She smiled softly.
The worker paused, “Sounds great, I’ll have those ready for you.”
Paige stood up, helping you up as well before collecting your bags as well as the new dress you had yet to buy. After making sure you both looked fairly presentable, you followed her out of the dressing room and back to the front of the store— a faint soreness in between your thighs reminding you of the actions that took place on that poor couch. The employee greeted you with a big smile and a huge pile of dresses, all neatly folded on the counter like your girlfriend had requested.
“Here are your dresses, Ms. Bueckers, is there anything else I can grab for you?”
Paige looked over at you.
“The heels?” You asked shyly.
Your girlfriend turned to the sales lady, “We’ll also be taking the corresponding matching heels. Thank you.”
“Of course, give me one second.” She replied before walking off into the back.
You looked up at your girlfriend, or more so, sugar daddy it felt like, “Thank you, daddy.”
Paige leaned down to kiss you, “Anything for my princess.”
657 notes · View notes
taexual · 8 months
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sleepwalking ● 1 | jjk
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summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.
pairing: jungkook x fem!reader
genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers / fluff / angst / smut (in later chapters)
warnings: explicit language, suggestive themes, SLOW BURN
words: 7.5k
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chapter 1 ► when i open my eyes to the future, i can hear you say my name
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There was virtually not a single person left on the entire fourth floor of the company building, despite it being a Monday afternoon. Normally, two other managers worked in offices adjacent to yours, so the noise in the hallways never settled below a pleasant hum: producers, promoters, and publicists – the three cursed Ps – shuffled in and out, heels clicking urgently against the marble floor.
This funeral silence was unusual, but you knew it was only a calm before the storm.
Rated Riot were going on their first-ever European tour in two days to promote their sophomore album – named aptly, “ready, set, RIOT” – and today was the final day of meetings. Evidently, the executives at Jett Records assumed that the band deserved to have a whole floor to themselves, so everyone else got a half-day, leaving you and the Floor Administrator, Rue, all by yourselves until the band got here.
This unsettling silence was exactly why you heard them arrive as soon as the door of the building opened four floors below. Rated Riot lived up to their name by making themselves heard before they were seen.
As soon as the sharp ding! of the elevator reached you in your office—your door was always open on meeting days, because the four members of one of the most promising rock bands in the world at the moment lacked any sense of direction—you could immediately feel the atmosphere lighten, the previous silence long gone.
“Rue! The apple of my eye!” Hoseok, the drummer and the de facto mood setter of Rated Riot, exclaimed as you listened to the familiar sounds of the band as they exited the elevator and, based on the repeated clicking of shoes in the lobby, momentarily got disoriented.
“Always looking good, Rue!” Jungkook, the vocalist, as well as the new Golden Boy of Jett Records followed after.
“Good to see you again,” Taehyung, the always well-mannered bassist, said. Silence followed and you assumed he shook Rue’s hand.
“Hello,” Yoongi, who was, technically, the guitarist of the band, but, really, played any instrument he could get his hands on, was the last to speak. He’d always been very well-spoken in songwriting, but quieter and more careful in most everyday conversations.
“Welcome, guys,” Rue greeted them. You couldn’t see any of them from where your office was located, but you’ve been in a similar situation countless times before and you could imagine what was happening without needing to witness it first-hand.
Rue would stand up from her seat and point her right hand down the hallway, reminding them—yet again—that they needed to walk down the hall and take a right turn. The members of Rated Riot, in turn, would walk down the hall. At least one of the four of them would turn left instead, causing a pause as the group gathered back together, exchanging confused glances. Then, they would turn back to Rue—who would still be standing there, her right hand extended like a helpful Statue of Liberty. They’d laugh at themselves, nod at Rue, and take the correct turn.
If things were going well, they’d find your office on first try—they’d just need to find the open door and peer inside; your desk was right in front. More often than not, however, they stumbled around, knocking and chuckling to themselves as they continuously interrupted the offices of everyone else, but you.
They were special. Not just because they looked like loose ducklings, separated from the Mother Duck, whenever they entered the company building, but also because, in spite of their own lack of coordination, they still managed to get things done.
And they brightened the day of everyone they came across. Which was almost ironic—as you realised by watching the four of them enter your office—considering the effortless rockstar aura that surrounded them.
Jungkook walked in first. That was typical because he usually did: sometimes because he was the only one who remembered where your office was, but usually because the other members offered him as a sacrificial lamb when they went knocking around every office on the floor in search of yours.
He was dressed in all-black—always—adorned with silver chains and necklaces that often gave you a start when you looked up, because he had a very specific way of entering the room: he seemed to make sure to position himself in just a way that the light, coming in from the window behind you, always reflected off his jewellery and momentarily blinded you.
Sure enough, you blinked, cringing into yourself as the brightness hit your eyes, and when you opened them again, he was already grinning.
“Hi,” he said and the rest of the members followed in after him—a brighter palette of colours.
Even Yoongi, who was the only one who could have given Jungkook a run for his money if you had to count which one had more black items of clothing in their closet, was wearing a beige, loosely buttoned shirt.
Despite that, however, you could tell they were rock artists as soon as you looked at them—all tattoos, piercings, intense eye make-up behind sunglasses, and old band tees—and you stood up, excited to let them know that, finally, every last loose thread had been found and tightened. They’d get to introduce their artistry on a different continent, and you’d make sure it’d go smoothly.
“We’re leaving for Prague tomorrow morning,” you told them once the five of you settled down at the round table in the back of your office. “So, if you were planning a going away party, I strongly advise against it.”
“We weren’t,” Yoongi said, lifting his glass of lemon water—there was a jug on the table—and giving you a reassuring look. “This is the strongest drink I’m having tonight.”
“Thanks,” you said paradoxically enough, but being grateful when the members of the band you managed didn’t get drunk before an important day was part of the job. “I’d also appreciate it if—”
“Hold on a second, though,” Jungkook interrupted—you’d been anticipating it. “I’m going to a gig tonight, Reconnaissance are in town again. And there’s obviously an after-party—”
Despite Reconnaissance being, arguably, one of the most popular rock bands in the world right now, you were definite when you cut him off, “No.”
“—so, I—wait. No?” he paused. “I never miss their shows, you know that. And I don’t get drunk easily. You know that, too.”
“That’s why you drink so much,” you rebutted. The rest of the band members got their phones out, knowing well enough at this point that this would take a while. “And then I have to come get you out of trouble.”
“You absolutely do not have to do that,” Jungkook insisted. “We’ve been through this.”
“Have we?” you argued. “Because I keep telling you it’s my job to keep you from passing out in a dirty bar bathroom, but you don’t care enough to hear me.”
“Well, you’re not very convincing. What’s the worst that can happen? I’ll wake up again.”
You were used to having this conversation with him—you’ve argued about this way before he became a singer and you ended up as his manager. And yet, the lax way he said this made you clench your fists.
Despite being mostly introverted, Jungkook did enjoy getting drinks with friends: even if said friends enjoyed his celebrity status more than they enjoyed the drinks.
“And if you don’t?” you threatened. “Rated Riot’s vocalist gets his stomach pumped. A catchy headline.”
“Yeah, man,” Hoseok interjected, putting his phone screen down on the table and crossing his arms. “Doesn’t go well with the vibe we’re going for. Don’t get your stomach pumped.”
“Fine, I—”
“What he meant was, don’t drink so much that you’d need your stomach pumped,” you clarified because Jungkook moonlighted as a Loophole Finder.
“I never have!” he insisted. “Seriously, you treat me like I’m still nineteen. Have some faith.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the other members of the group look up from their phones. The band had only formed a few years ago, so you were the only person in this room who knew what Jungkook was like when he was nineteen. You never spoke about it – that was likely why everyone was so curious.
In any case, Jungkook was wrong. You did have faith—that’s why you spent so many of your off-duty nights driving down deserted streets to pick him up after his asshole friends convinced him it was a good idea to try the biker bar on the outskirts of town, and he’d gotten in an altercation with a burly redneck that was twice his size.
There was no time for that now, not when he was supposed to be on stage in Prague in three days.
“Well,” Taehyung spoke up. “I was thinking of going to the show as well. Not so much the after-party, I have better plans. But, uh, I could come, after all.”
You appreciated the offer, but you knew that these better plans involved him spending time with his girlfriend, Luna, who was going to join him for a few weeks of the European tour, but after that, the two of them were going to be apart for several months.
“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” you said, not trying very much to hide the hopeful undertones in your voice. Jungkook’s friends felt intimidated by all the members of Rated Riot; they’d be on their best behaviour if Taehyung was there.
“No, I think it might be fun,” Taehyung said. You exhaled quietly and he could sense your gratitude without words. He turned to his younger bandmate. “Should we go together?”
Jungkook groaned and mumbled under his breath, “not if I have to third-wheel again.”
“When have you ever third-wheeled anyone?” you asked rhetorically, but he was already opening his mouth to reply. Quickly, you added, “be careful, is what I’m saying, okay? I am complaining about having to pick you up from all kinds of holes, but if you need me to bring NDAs, I will bring them. So, ask.”
Jungkook rolled his eyes, but chose to stay quiet. He knew better now – the one time he did not make anyone sign a non-disclosure agreement after an impromptu, drunken busking session in New York, pictures of him, half-dressed and giving a lap dance to a random, equally as drunk, groupie, were on every rock page on Instagram. Accompanied with detailed retellings of how it came to happen, of course; all of them more ridiculous than the next. Your personal favourite story was that he was recruiting members for a sex cult.
“We’ll call you,” Taehyung gave you a nod, “if we have to.”
“Perfect,” you said, glancing at Jungkook again, even though expecting him to confirm that he, too, would call you if he had to, was wishful thinking.
Every time you reminded him how he needed to start going out with a less destructive crowd, he’d treat his phone like a poisonous snake – and he’d been doing that even before you became his manager. His friends seemed to get their pleasure fix from watching you arrive and rip him a new one, so they were the ones who called you most of the time, always laughing into their phones like true accomplices.
It was funny how Jungkook was the only one who passed out or got so wasted, he ended up on a ferry to Martha’s Vineyard. His friends always walked away unscathed and, usually, only called you by the time they were back in their bedrooms – “when we left, he was ordering mint and honey daiquiris, you should probably go over there and check up on him.”
It was like they loved pushing him into danger and purposefully bringing the two of you together again, and Jungkook either didn’t realise or didn’t care anymore. It’s been a while, after all.
You and Jungkook had been broken up for almost two years when you got the unbelievable offer to manage an up-and-coming rock band. This was over two years ago now and you were only twenty-four back then. Up until that point, you had worked as an assistant manager for various indie artists, so that offer was massive.
You figured the downside that your ex-boyfriend happened to be in this particular band was worth it, considering the huge leap in your career you’d make by accepting this job.
And, for the most part (excluding the first two months that were pure chaos of repressed feelings), you and Jungkook both made this work, drawing a strict line between your relationship before Rated Riot (back when he still had your phone number saved as “❌”) and after he met you again as Rated Riot’s new manager (ironically, now your name on his phone was “❌❌❌”).
You’ve managed Rated Riot for almost exactly two years now, and if you’d asked the band – which you wouldn’t, partially out of humbleness, but also because you were scared – you’d know that they loved working with you as much as you loved working with them. So, in the end, it all really had been worth it.
“Check your emails for the descriptive itineraries,” you continued smoothly enough. The guys at the table put their phones down and returned their attention to you. “Now, who else is coming with us?”
Technically, the band wasn’t supposed to bring anyone – the label was explicitly clear about that. They wanted the first European tour to go “without a hitch” (meaning, without distractions), but you held a more liberal view here.
You didn’t think loved ones coming on the road were a distraction; if anything, they were a firm support mechanism that made touring easier for the artists.
“I know Luna’s staying until the Barcelona show, yeah?” you asked, double-checking the notes on your laptop.
Taehyung nodded, a small smile on his lips at the mention of the girl. “She flies out the next day, yeah.”
“Okay. Who else?”
“Well, Sid and Jude are coming,” Jungkook spoke up and, after seeing your eyes roll back, added, quieter, “and Minjun isn’t sure.”
The three musketeer-wannabes – Sid, Jude, and Minjun – were on speed dial on your work and personal phones, because if Rated Riot had a performance and the vocalist wasn’t there, it was likely those three who were to blame. They were the only ones who knew Jungkook longer than you did, and they seemed to take pride in the fact that they had successfully been causing you headaches for seven years now.
“Sid and Jude,” you repeated, “aren’t worried they’ll lose their jobs if they travel to Europe abruptly?”
“No, they’re cool,” Jungkook shrugged, not catching the mockery in your voice. “I’ll text Minjun right now. Maybe he’ll come when we’re in Poland…”
“I needed confirmation by last week,” you reminded him. “At the latest.”
He glanced at you from his phone and then went back to texting. “So, why’d you ask now?”
“To double-check,” you said. “They’re going to have to book the hotels themselves. Or sleep on the street. Honestly, I don’t really—”
“So, uh,” Yoongi interrupted before another argument could begin, “how many hotels this time?”
“Prague, Amsterdam, and Paris. And, depending on flight time, maybe two nights in London,” you said with an apologetic smile. “Bring your favourite blankets. We’re living on buses for the next three months.”
None of them minded – if anything, you could see a little glitter in their eyes as they listened to you. Being on the road and having to sleep on the tour bus every night was an experience they’d missed. They hadn’t gone on an actual tour in almost a year – as someone who thrived on live performances, they had obviously missed this.
Really, you’ve missed it, too. Rated Riot may have been a riot to look after as their manager – pun fully intended – especially on tour, but they were your riot to deal with.
You liked your job and the challenges that came with it, because, in the end, you overcame most of them: starting with your previous relationship with Jungkook (no one in the band had a problem with it, and the label miraculously seemed not to know about it) and ending with your relatively young age (Jungkook was the only one who had a problem with you being his age, but he had a problem with almost everything).
Hopefully, one day you’d manage to overcome the challenge that was getting Jungkook to open his eyes and realise that the people he surrounded himself with were more groupies than his friends. But all in due time.
“If you have questions,” you said as the meeting approached its’ conclusion, “go right ahead.”
“Wake-up calls,” Yoongi said. “Any possibility of arranging those?”
You smiled – this had been traditional practice ever since you started to work with them.
“I’ll call,” you said and then remembered a particularly frustrating way in which this had backfired. You added, “and keep you on the phone until you’re out of bed.”
Back when you were an assistant manager to a different band, this had been your main task. And, you supposed, if Rated Riot had assistant managers, they’d be the ones making wake-up calls, too – however, the band had only started to live up to their potential now. Before you booked the European tour for them, Jett Records thought they barely needed one manager to begin with.
You’ve made it this far. If the tour went well, maybe you’d get to expand your team as the band gained popularity.
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Jungkook felt giddy the whole night. The Reconnaissance show with Taehyung and Luna was a lot of fun, as expected—he’d seen the band five times before tonight, and they never failed to let him down.
When he arrived at the after-party, he was nearly vibrating with excitement—on top of everything, he was going on tour tomorrow and he knew he might lose his mind over it—and this was usually the time when he tended to get reckless.
He did drink a little too much to retain a completely sober mind, but he stayed true to his word and did not wander anywhere or caused any—serious—trouble. You would have said that’s because Sid and Jude weren’t with him, but Jungkook was convinced it was because he simply had great self-control when he put his mind to it.
The only place he went to after the party was his family’s house, so he could say goodbye to his grandma. She probably wouldn’t even hear him—and if she would, then she probably wouldn’t recognise him—but he couldn’t leave to Europe without saying goodbye to her.
He thought he’d take his Katana to the house, but then remembered immediately the last time he got on his motorcycle drunk – his grandma had, literally, smacked him on the back with a rolling pin, yelling about how careless he was. She didn’t say that she hit him out of concern for his safety—that was obvious—and, instead, she focused on how hard he’d worked on restoring the bike after he’d bought it; his first purchase with the money that he made off Rated Riot’s music.
“Don’t you want it to last?” she had said then. She’d been the only person who believed he could bring the bike to life, despite it not having a single properly functioning part, least of all the engine. “You worked so hard on it. Do you want to wreck it in one night?”
Tonight, however, everyone in the house was asleep when he arrived. It was quiet, so he tried to be silent as he went up the stairs to her room—and then knocked over a picture frame after his feet fumbled on the carpet in the hallway. But no one went out to check who was making the noise—which was dangerous, he realised for a brief, semi-sober second; but the house had security, so he figured they were safe from outsiders—and he gently lowered the handle on his grandma’s door, peering inside.
The room was painted in blue hues from the night light next to the bed where his grandma was sleeping. He approached—really trying to be quiet this time—and carefully pulled her comforter up, so she wouldn’t get cold, even though the room felt warm.
It was always warm here and Jungkook had to bite his lip when he realised how much he missed sitting here as a child while dozens of his cousins ran around the house and wreaked loud, childish havoc. How much he missed his grandma reading him books—never children’s stories, he always insisted she read him the thickest, most boring books he could find on her shelves, just so he could stay in her room longer, listening to her soothing voice and feeling her comforting warmth.
Sniffling quietly, he leaned closer to her and brushed a strand of white hair from her face, listening to her soft breathing as she slept, unaware of his presence.
“I’ll be back soon,” he promised in a whisper as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. She didn’t wake. “We will talk again then.”
He knew he’d keep this promise even if she didn’t hear it, even if she didn’t remember. But leaving her room felt painful and he was far less excited now. The alcohol had begun to wear off and heaviness settled in his chest instead. This happened sometimes when he was left alone with his thoughts, especially after he visited his grandma.
He'd come back, he knew he would. But as he glanced at his grandma’s sleeping frame one more time—remembering how she hadn’t called him by his name in months; not one glint of recognition in her eyes when she’d see him—he wondered if he’d have anyone to come back to.
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Surprising exactly no one, Jungkook was the only one who did not answer your wake-up call the next morning. Having foreseen this, you’d already called Hoseok, Yoongi and Taehyung – in that order, because the first two took the longest to wake up, and by that time, Taehyung was already awake on his own – and only then attempted to reach the one remaining member.
Fifteen minutes later, you were already dressed and ready to drive over to his house and personally wake him up with an icy bath in bed. And just then, your phone rang – his name as the caller’s ID.
“Look who—”
“Okay, okay,” Jungkook’s groggy voice cut you off before you could greet him with the appropriate sarcastic remark. “I’m awake. Halfway in the shower.”
“I don’t hear running water.”
He responded with a groan first, then shuffling. You waited patiently, balancing the phone on your shoulder as you unlocked the door of your apartment. Finally, you could hear the water start running on the other end of the call.
“Happy?” Jungkook asked, always the brightest of all rays of sunshine in the morning.
“Ecstatic,” you replied, equally as enthusiastically. “Sending a car to pick you up in half an hour. Don’t be late.”
“I can drive myself—”
“No driving when you’re hungover,” you said, not for the first time. “In fact, don’t even go near your Katana.”
He considered several ways to respond to you; first and foremost, defending his beloved, navy-coloured Suzuki Katana with a matte coating, custom-made leather seat covers, golden rims, purring engine, and—anyway. He ended up choosing to respond with a question, “how do you know I’m hungover?”
“I’ve known you for almost ten years,” you replied. “If you go out drinking the night before, you’ll wake up hungover.”
“Well, how do you know I drank that much last ni—?”
“Listen,” you cut him off, hoisting your suitcases over the threshold of your front door. You fixed your phone against your cheek and continued, “how about you take that shower, and we’ll resume this nice little Q&A at the airport?”
“No,” he replied and, in a purposefully exaggerated breathy voice said, “I simply can’t stop talking to you.”
“Hanging up now.”
Jungkook laughed as he listened to the beep, indicating the end of the call. Putting his phone on the side of the sink, he took his shirt off and was about to continue undressing when his phone vibrated and nearly fell off the sink.
Scrambling to catch it, he smacked it against the cupboard and exhaled in relief when he saw that the screen hadn’t cracked. He was expecting a text from you – a threat, in case he’d go back to bed – but it was actually Sid, asking for the time of his flight.
His friends were taking a separate flight out to Prague – they weren’t happy about it and neither was he, but at least they’d get to hang out in Europe eventually – and, obviously, they wanted to know what time they’d meet up and where.
He double-checked the itinerary you’d emailed him, got confused about the time zone difference and texted Sid back.
“Gonna be there the day before the show,” his text said, “jetlag. Sleep. Maybe beer? Catch u there.”
Sid was, of course, delighted to hear the mention of beer and Jungkook snickered to himself before he resumed undressing for his shower—knowing from experience that you wouldn’t be above shipping him to Prague in the cargo section on the plane if he was late to the airport.
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As it turned out, for the first time in his life, Jungkook was so terribly jet-lagged, that he did not feel like doing anything – not even drinking with friends – but sleeping.
He slept through the whole layover in Paris – and, consequently, through Taehyung and Luna’s stories about the 5 minutes they got to spend in front of the Eiffel Tower before rushing back to the airport (never mind that it was about 2 AM) – as well as the flight to Prague.
He only woke up on the bus ride to the hotel when he felt something nudging his lips and opened his eyes to find an open bottle of Coca-Cola in your hands as you held it by his face.
“Did you just—” he started to say, but his voice sounded brittle, more a croak than a voice, really. He cleared his throat and tried again, “did you just wake me up by making me sniff soda?”
“It worked,” you replied, nudging the bottle at him again. “Drink. You need sugar. You didn’t eat anything on the plane here.”
“I had that bagel on the flight to Paris,” he mumbled, but sat up properly and took the bottle from you.
“That was a croissant,” you clarified. It was almost cute to see him barely awake. “And I warned you about flying with a hangover. You did this to yourself.”
“I’m fine,” he replied after taking a big gulp of coke. “Not sure which day it is, but other than that, I’m perfect. Do you have anything for headaches?”
Snickering, you nodded. “Yeah, give me a second.”
You went to fetch your carry-on bag and returned with ibuprofen, which allowed him to go back to sleep until you arrived at the hotel. The other members were also in and out of slumber, but that was their own fault. You and the other girls on this tour, which, really, only meant Luna— Taehyung’s girlfriend—and Maggie—the tour photographer—had planned ahead and taken sleeping pills as soon as the plane took off. Meanwhile, every man on this trip thought too much of himself.
By the time you arrived to the hotel and checked in, it was already lunchtime. If this had been your first time travelling with Rated Riot, you would have been beyond surprised to see what effect food had on them: they looked like they'd just returned from the most refreshing vacation in the Caribbean. Lively conversation and cheerful laughter echoed around the table – no one would have guessed that they’d just spent over 13 hours on airplanes. Their recovery was nearly always miraculous.
And, naturally, since they were feeling better, they wanted to do something as soon as the first rehearsal was over. You had far too many things to do before the show tomorrow, so you couldn’t babysit them – again, an assistant manager would have been life-saving – but you knew you’d still have to keep an eye on them.
Taehyung and Luna went sightseeing, but they were the sort who kept you updated on their adventures through pictures, which you were endlessly grateful for. There was never a reason to worry here; if you were a teacher who had to pretend not to have a favourite student, Taehyung would be the student you were pretending about.
Yoongi and Hoseok, initially, went to a record store together, but then split up – one of them returned to the hotel for a nap, and the other one went café-hopping. Those two were also fine – they usually took some members of the crew with them anyway, so you knew that in the worst-case scenario, you’d still have several people you could call to reach them.
Now Jungkook was going to meet up with Sid and Jude, both of whom had, most unfortunately, successfully landed in Prague. The Diabolical Duo would take him out drinking, you had no doubt about it – and this was where you’d have to step in with another warning. You weren’t the angry mother, dragging her children by their ears, but you felt it necessary to remind Jungkook of what was at stake if he allowed his friends to be their usual, obnoxious selves tonight.
However, you didn’t want to ask, so you had to figure out where to find them yourself. You didn’t even have to use the seven years that you’ve known them to deduce two logical, universal-for-all-assholes things: one, Jungkook’s friends wouldn’t be nearly tired enough not to want to drink. Two, they’d be too jet-lagged to look for their usual hole-in-the-wall spot that sold drinks. Therefore, they’d have to settle for the bar of the hotel.
And when you exited the elevator on the ground floor later that night, your assumption was confirmed – you could hear their laughter from where you were standing in the lobby.
You’d texted Jungkook as you arrived, hoping he’d leave his friends and come see you at the back of the bar for a minute, but unfortunately, Sid and Jude noticed you and waved you over with loud cheers.
Embarrassed as the people in booths around you began to turn to look, you swallowed and walked towards the front where Jungkook and his friends were sitting by the bar.
“Wow, it’s been so long!” Jude exclaimed as you approached. In your opinion, it wasn’t nearly long enough, but you only lifted the corners of your lips and did not comment.
“Jungkook, a moment?” you said instead.
“Let’s get you a drink!” Sid suggested as though you hadn’t spoken and extended a hand, clicking his fingers to get the bartender’s attention. “Hey! Can we get some Margaritas here?”
You cringed watching this, but, again, restrained yourself. They could behave like pricks all they wanted; it wasn’t their reputation that you had to protect. Someone else would, hopefully, teach them a lesson.
“Sure,” Jungkook said to you, sliding off the stool. He seemed sober enough to walk without any sort of waddling or stand without swaying, but you could tell by the relaxation behind his eyes, that he was already tipsy.
His friends patted him on the back and whistled as he followed you to a quieter spot in the back of the bar. He shook his head at them—but had a grin on his face, and for that alone you wanted to punch him.
“Can I count on you to take it easy?” you asked, once the two of you were out of earshot. “Not because you’ll make my job much harder if you don’t, but because you have a rehearsal tomorrow at eight, and that’s hard with the jet lag alone, but add a hangover into the mix, and—”
“I’ll be fine,” he said, but you’ve heard this song many times before. It was one of his top hits. “I’m actually tired, so I might have a few and then go straight to bed.”
“Okay,” you said, choosing to believe him, because that was easier than making him sign a contract, swearing not to wake up in a dumpster. “Can you text me when you’re back in your room? So I know you’re not lost somewhere in Prague with Dumb and Dumber.”
His lip twitched in an almost-smile at the nickname, but he resisted – a loyal friend, even if they didn’t deserve it – and gave you a nod.
“Fine,” he said. “I’ll text you. And I won’t get lost.”
“Okay—” you started to say and then squinted your eyes at him, realizing. “I meant don’t go wandering the city streets while drunk.”
He snorted and placed a hand on your left shoulder. Gazing into your eyes, he enunciated very dramatically, “I will not get into trouble. Promise.”
You pursed your lips. “You’d better not.”
“I realise what that would mean, believe it or not,” he said, straightening. “Tomorrow is an important day. I’d never do anything to ruin it.”
“I know,” you said. “I trust you to make smart choices. I don’t trust them.”
You pointed at the twosome by the bar – both of them watching you like you were the entertainment of the night – and Jungkook turned to look. Sid and Jude both immediately waved at him. Jungkook waved back and, when he looked at you again, he was smiling softly.
Clearly, he genuinely enjoyed hanging out with those two. You���d never believe that there was anything about them that was bearable—let alone enjoyable—so Jungkook’s weird attachment to them had to come from some sort of weird destructive force inside of him.
“I’ll keep them in check,” he said and then, possibly prompted by the skeptical frown on your face, he felt the need to explain, “they help me relax. If it weren’t for them, I’d probably be shaking from anxiety all the time. Kind of like you are.”
He winked as he said that last part, grinning at his own wit, but you rolled your eyes in response.
“Goodnight,” you said then. “Don’t forget to text me.”
“Are you going to stay up late waiting for my text?” his tone was humorous and it stopped you from leaving.
“Hopefully not,” you said, ignoring the flirty comment that was obviously meant to rattle your composure. “But it’d do you well to remember that I can make life very difficult for you if you disobey me.”
He lifted his eyebrows at this, but did not lose the grin. “Oh? Will I get punished if I—”
“Goodnight, Jungkook,” you said again—louder—and turned away.
You glanced over your shoulder when you reached the archway leading to the lobby and caught him watching you leave—he was still beaming, but he composed himself and nodded when he caught your eye. You nodded back.
Maybe he really would be fine tonight.
And, truly, Jungkook had meant what he’d said – he couldn’t wait for tomorrow and there was nothing he’d do to ruin that. Not even if the smirking faces of his friends prompted him to laugh as soon as he returned to his seat by the bar.
“What do you want, assholes?” he asked, punching Jude on the shoulder as he walked past his friends. As soon as he sat down, leaving Sid in the middle, he took a big gulp of the beer he’d left waiting; only his third one tonight.
“We don’t want anything,” Jude said, still smirking. “What did she want? Another moral how you’re not being a good boy?”
Jungkook rolled his eyes. “No—”
“I was always curious,” Sid interrupted. “Was she like that when you dated, too? You know, always in charge?”
Even before you and Jungkook had settled into a steady enough rhythm of working with each other, neither of you spoke to others about your relationship. Not while you were dating, and not after you broke up. So, all your friends—real friends and whoever the hell Sid and Jude were—essentially knew nothing of your relationship.
And there was nothing he’d tell them now.
It’s been four years since you broke up—plenty of time to move on. Not to mention, you were both (trying to be) professionals. There was no point to bring back the past; there never had been.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Jungkook teased, managing to keep the banter going without revealing how the question irked something inside him.
“I would. That’s why I asked,” Sid replied, laughing haughtily. A few heads turned his way. Sid sounded very much like an entitled heir—or an elephant high on helium—when he laughed, especially when there was nothing funny going on. “I mean, you never talked about her to us. Was it getting rid of her that made you who you are today?”
Jude snorted, slapping Sid on the back in a half-supportive, half-warning manner. Jungkook knew that the level of your patience for his friends ranged from Sid (no patience) to Jude (case-by-case), to Minjun (bearable)—and he could see why.
“I didn’t get rid of her,” he said, an edge to his voice. “We broke up and moved on. Did you hear from Minjun?”
Sid laughed again—even louder than before; the glasses behind the bar seemed to clatter.
“Look at him, trying to change the topic!” he wheezed, looking at Jude over his shoulder.
“Leave him be, man,” Jude said and nodded at Jungkook. “So many girls around us and this dumbass is still hung up on your ex, huh?”
Jungkook finished his beer and held the liquid behind his cheeks for a second before swallowing. He caught the bartender’s eye and lifted his empty glass, indicating a refill.
“I don’t think I’m the one who’s hung up,” Sid said with a very knowing look in his eye.
Jungkook looked at him and raised his eyebrows—surprised and momentarily distracted from his drink. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Well, you come to her as soon as she calls, like a puppy,” Sid replied. “So, you tell me.”
“I have to come when she calls,” Jungkook defended. “She’s my manager.”
“Yeah, dumbass,” Jude said, slapping Sid on the back of the head this time. “She’s his manager.”
Jungkook suddenly found himself smiling when he realised that you’d probably consider this the reason why Sid acted the way he did sometimes – permanent brain damage from Jude’s incessant slaps.
“Well, then someone,” Sid said, angrily accentuating the word—the anger was clearly directed at Jude, but the pronoun at Jungkook, “has a fucking crush on their manager.”
“I don’t have a crush—”
Sid spoke over him, “I bet you could never get her to go out with you again.”
Jungkook saw the bartender approach to pour him a drink and he heard Jude scoffing, but he could only blink, taken aback by what sounded like an accusation.  “Why—why would I even—why—”
“Oh, see, see?!” Sid screeched, turning to Jude with a triumphant expression. Jude gave him a pitiful look—and looked about ready to give him a black eye, too. “He knows I’m right, it’s why he’s stuttering!”
“Dude,” Jude said slowly. “You are yelling.”
Jungkook cleared his throat, nodding at the bartender as a thank-you and then bringing his refilled glass to his lips. “And I’m not stuttering.”
“You so are, my man,” Sid taunted, patting Jungkook on the shoulder with so much force, the beer nearly spilled from the glass and from his mouth. “Your ass is so whipped, you’re going to be singing at her wedding to some random producer.”
Suddenly hyper-aware that there were several producers on tour with them right now, Jungkook put his drink down and straightened in his seat.
“I’m not fucking singing at weddings,” he said.
“Not yet,” Sid pointed out, grinning. He knew he'd gotten under his skin.
“Okay, come on now,” Jude interjected, leaning back in his seat to be able to see Jungkook. “You promised you’d sing at my wedding.”
“As if anyone would ever marry you,” came Sid’s snide.
“You shut the fuck up,” Jude snarled, but there was no malice behind his bark. “I have more chances of marrying someone than he has of marrying his manager.”
“He—oh, fuck!” Sid was about to argue, but then burst into laughter—so loud and thunderous again, that the bartender was forced to glance over at the security guards by the entrance to the bar. “That’s good! You’re so right!”
“Both of you are fucking idiots,” Jungkook spoke. The edges of his vision were red. “I could get her to go out with me again if I wanted to.”
“Oh, sure, sure,” Sid nodded, wiping invisible tears from his eyes. “Big talk.”
“Jungkook, no offense, my dude,” Jude said, leaning forwards this time. “Let him have this one. Sid may be dumber than box of rocks, but he’s got a point here. Forget about her.”
Another insinuation that had Jungkook throwing his head back in frustration.
“There’s nothing to forget!” he groaned. “What the fuck are you even talking about? I just fucking told you I moved on.”
“So why are you getting all riled up, then?” Sid smirked, more and more satisfied with each curse that he provoked out of him.
Jungkook felt even angrier, because he was getting riled up, but he had a good reason for it. He enjoyed banter as much as the next person, but he did not enjoy mockery at his own expense—especially not the kind that involved you.
He snapped back, “because you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
His friends snickered at this – convinced that his irritation only proved the point they were both making – and Jungkook clenched his jaw, annoyed.
“If anything,” he added sharply as he picked his beer up—as if that could somehow distance him from this conversation, “it’s her who’s still hung up on me.”
That was a cheap, childish defence, and everyone by the bar knew it.
“Yeah, right!” Sid cried out, but resisted from laughing again. “We’ve heard her yell at you more times than we can count. You fucking wish she was still hung up on you.”
“Okay, to be fair, Sid can probably only count to five,” Jude added—Sid finally punched him on the shoulder—as he toyed with the paper umbrella on his fourth cocktail; the Margaritas they’d ordered were long gone. “But he’s right, you know? You’d never get her to go out with you again.”
There was pity in Jude’s voice—as if he felt sorry that Jungkook lived in denial, chasing after you and convincing himself that it was only a matter of time before you’d come back to him.
This made Jungkook’s temper vile, his face red, hot, and angry. He slammed his beer back on the table, forcing some of it to spill. “Yes, I fucking would!”
Sid was hiccupping as he laughed.
“Okay, okay, listen—let’s make a proper bet,” he managed. He picked up a napkin from the bar top, then looked around for something to write on it with—not finding anything, he stood up from his seat and leaned over the bar, grabbing a pen before the bartender could notice. “$1000 says you can’t get her to go on a date with you again.”
He glanced at Jude for approval—Jude shrugged.
“I’d suggest $500,” he said. “We don’t want to rob him blind.”
Jungkook’s face remained stoic, prideful.
“Fine with me. But you have no idea what you’re getting yourselves into,” he bit.
“Oh, that’s right, he’s been awfully cocky about the whole thing, hasn’t he?” Sid spoke, addressing his rhetorical question at the bar. He wrote something on the napkin and then lifted it to show the number “4000” to Jungkook. “How about this: Jude and I each pay you $2000 if you win. But if you lose, you give us your Katana.”
Jungkook lifted his eyebrows, the sudden mention of his bike catching him off-guard. Sid came from old money, he could afford fifteen brand-new motorcycles with the change he found in his suitcase, probably.
“How is that fair?” he asked. “Do you even know how much a Suzuki costs these days? It’s not $4000, I can tell you that much.”
“Why should you care?” Sid asked, his eyes glinting with mischief. “You were so confident about winning the bet just a second ago. Scared you’ll lose after all?”
In his defence, Jungkook did hesitate for half a moment. But there was a shit-eating grin on Sid’s mouth that he wanted to wipe off more than anything else, and he downed the rest of his beer in one big gulp—a showcase of his determination.
“Not at all,” he said then. He wasn’t sure if he was lying as he said this, but he had no time to figure that out. He extended his hand at Sid. “Get your money ready.”
Here, he was putting up a front – this wasn’t about the money at all. It was more a thing of pride; they were teasing him, purposefully making fun of him—and he wanted to prove them wrong, regardless if they were actually wrong.
Smirking, Sid shook his hand—cementing the bet between all three of them, as Jude was busy finishing off his cocktail—and was about to say something when Jungkook jumped off his stool.
“Have to go now,” he said, always a show-off with his overly creative comebacks when he was tipsy. “My horoscope predicts a date and a big fortune in my near future. Got to prepare.”
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chapter title credits: sleep token, “rain”
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special shout-out & thank you to @eleni-cherie who delivered the much-appreciated kicks in the ass, so that i would keep writing. the odds were really against me, so if it weren't for you & our in-depth fanfic discussions, i definitely wouldn't even be writing this note right now, let alone finally starting this story 💜
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neteyamsilly · 1 year
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i will soften every edge, hold the world to its best | 5
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summary ;; What could Jake do? How was he supposed to fight when he had no concrete opponent? PART 4 | PART 6 pairings ;; dad!jake sully x reader, mom!neytiri x reader, sully family x reader genre ;; pure angst and family feels notes / explanations ;; jake is so depressing here. i also took liberty with his character and the reasonings for his decisions in atwow, sorry in case if thats not how you see him LMAO happy reading 💞 please excuse my mistakes if you see any! ‼ I DONT TAKE TAG REQUESTS ANYMORE ‼
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“One chance, Jakesuli. You will only have one chance. Use it well. Our Great Mother favors you, that we know. But this favor hasn’t been granted to you. It has been granted to my granddaughter.”
“I won’t fail.” Not again. 
“What does failing mean, I wonder. Would you fail if you take her soul back from her happiest? Or would you fail if you let her have the peace our Great Mother has laid her into?” 
“I will get my daughter back. This isn’t her time. If Eywa has given me this chance, then she thinks the same as me.”
“You will take that honor from her, then?” Mo’at was being cryptic, but Jake saw through the exterior of the neutral Tsahik into an exhausted, mourning grandmother. “She was the daughter of Toruk Makto, and he was her last shadow.”
It came back to Jake in a gut-churning realization, it was his shadow that had fallen over you from the light of the torches on the walls as you’d given your last breath. It was his shadow. “No,” he refused, adamantly. “She will get to achieve greater honors of her own than that. I won’t be the one defining her ending.” The last bead of your songcord having his name, Toruk Makto’s name, was supremely wrong to him. He would not accept this fate for you. 
“Very well, then.” Secretly, she was pleased with him. With his answer. “Get going. As I said. One chance.”  
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Jake would never be able to get used to the magnificence that was Vitraya Ramunong, or, the Tree of Souls. To him, Pandora itself was a marvel already too good to be true that he’d fallen in love with, and abandoned his own race for, there was no getting used to the beauty for a human like him who’d only found it once in neon lights, ever. He could reach the end of his natural lifespan in this body and still there would be much left to discover. That’s why Jake was more vulnerable to one of the beating hearts of Eywa in the shape of a giant, glowing willow tree. 
No Na’vi was immune to the soul-purifying, all-consuming, yet being-dwarfing peace enveloping one’s very spirit, in a cradling hug as if they were nothing but a newborn in their mother’s arms. In here, only one fact mattered: they were childrens of Eywa, all of them dear, all of them seen, all of them safe and sound, including him, once alien to Eywa the way Earth was related to Pandora. Everything spoke to him here in a language he didn’t understand, but could respond to, again, in a language he didn’t understand, his soul doing the communicating. 
Jake was also a child here, Eywa’s chosen child. 
And he had come to her door for the most difficult request of his life, feeling like he was asking his mother for money right after he had crashed their car, unable to look her in the eye and expecting the biggest of scoldings for his shamelessness. 
This was nothing like asking for her assistance against the sky people, back then, he had agency, power, the clans backing him up, Toruk. If Eywa didn’t hear him, he would fight until the last drop of blood in his body was spent anyway, he was ready.
Now, he had nothing. 
Nothing to offer in return, not one concrete reason as to why he should have his daughter back other than being a desperate father with nowhere to return to other than the mercy of the Great Mother. He just wanted his child. Nothing mattered. 
Not how and why Quaritch had spawned right under his nose with an avatar body, not how they could even slither in without detection, not the threat of what the sky people could bring upon their heads with that — nothing, not now. Nothing mattered until he saw this through. 
Jake had found the will to quite literally tear himself from your side like nail from flesh only when you’d stabilized enough. Stabilized, as in, the faintest rise and fall of your ribcage Neteyam had to stare from where he was sitting like a sentinel for a full minute to spot, a tideless, still ocean only moving with whiffs of wind, his own breathing unnoticeable — to match yours, or to silence the sounds in his own body to hear better, Jake didn’t know. 
No sky person was allowed to take over from Mo’at and Kiri. Norm had told Jake none of this made sense, if the bullet had nicked the bowels enough and the dirt leaked into the bloodstream, the possibility of sepsis was eventual, and if it didn’t, you had bled too much anyway, a blood transfusion was necessary, and the internal organs... — Christ, the amount of bad end scenarios Jake had been subjected to was as if they were telling him to open a grave for you anyway. Tsahik had scoffed into their faces. The way of healing was something none of them would see, she had scoffed. Now ally, or not. You can’t fill a cup that’s already full. Jake was in a hopeless need for water into wine kind of miracle, and honestly, he wasn’t complaining. 
Leaving High Camp behind to set off on a journey calling for only him was one of the hardest things he’d done yet, the silhouette of you lying motionless, his family scattered around the tent, shadowed in their own mourning, folded into themselves was burned into his mind, glimpses of their pain visible from eclipses of light occasionally falling on their faces. A sight he never wanted to see again in his life if he could help it. It was a frosted, iron-thorned hand squishing his heart into ground meat. 
Tuk, ever the stingy monopolizer, had brought her favorite toys to scatter around you because she thought they’d comfort you the way they comforted her, had tried snuggling with your unconscious body and was warned by Kiri only to hold your hand instead. She had taken to playing with your fingers, the depressive gloom of years beyond her age crooked on her. Jake couldn’t stand the sight of the little girl telling you bedtime stories he and Neytiri used to, for a moment only, he could pretend you were just going along with your sister’s whims and smiling with your eyes closed as you listened. 
Kiri, buzzing around to change the bandage-leaves that soaked up some sort of sickly black colored puss every couple hours, had explained to him the salve they used on you was getting the infection and the splinters of the bullet they couldn’t get out of your body, which had turned the color of your blood into that — but the thing was, given the dwelling of the woodsprite in your mouth, they couldn’t feed you the porridge-like mix to speed up the process of blood production in the bone marrow, and she was exerting herself looking for some other way. 
Before he’d left the tent for good, she had handed him the bullet— or, the biggest piece of it they’d taken out of your body, it was a mere pursed and shriveled, tiny metal. The exhausted girl had stammered when explaining that whatever they’d hit you with, had broken into shards inside you upon impact, creating severe lacerations and lethal hemorrhage that they’d worked tirelessly to pick out.
Jake had stared hollowly at it for the longest time. This small thing. It was such a small thing that took you from him. 
The sentence that sent you away was also as small, and damning as this bullet. ‘Go.’   
Kiri had seen it sink in his face, closing her five-fingered hand on his palm, on the bullet. “You should get going, dad,” she’d said. “We’re okay here.”
Jake had taken one last look. At Neytiri wiping your body to clean all the congealed blood. At Tuk holding your hand. At Kiri trying to fill in shoes bigger than her feet. At you lying down with trinkets surrounding you like funeral flowers. And forced his body to keep moving when all he wanted to do was stay. 
He’d then heard Lo’ak complaining to his older brother outside the tent, “How can he be so cold?” The heaviness was getting to the boy, agitated and misapprehending. But he was always this way, if something was out of his control, the inability to act to change it manifested as frustration, blind anger. “Why is he so… unresponsive? Emotionless?”
Jake would have let it slide had it been about something else, but his children running their mouths not knowing he was a hair's breadth away from going clinically insane had gotten to him. He was burning alive. 
“You think I don’t care, boy?” He emerged from the tent like some last boss, initially not caring he’d scared the brothers. “You think I don’t feel at all? My own child dying in the same arms I used to hold her as a baby — you think that doesn’t faze me?”
Neteyam, the mediator, or rather, the blame-taker, ran to his little brother’s rescue, the latter too flabbergasted to form any words yet. “Dad, he doesn’t mean—”
“I know exactly what he means.” When the anger subsided, Jake sighed with the weariness of an ancient man. The flames had died before they could climb, he was too exhausted for it. Honesty and trust, as Neytiri had said. 
Having lost everything, having nothing to lose, and having a lot to lose were somehow simultaneously the same thing to Jake in the predicament he’d found himself in. “I know how you see me. You only know me as the person I want to show you.” 
Lo’ak’s go-to answer was presented to Jake on a silver platter. “Sorry, sir.”
It wasn’t what he wanted to hear at all. Jake wasn’t trying to get Lo’ak to bow his head. “Don’t apologize—” He cut himself short, licking his chapped lips, and after rubbing his face, he’d put his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “Lo’ak. Son. I feel this, alright? Of course I do. I’m your father.” He shook him gently, feeling the words weren’t reaching him, who was just staring at something on the ground off to the side. “There’s no greater pain a parent can go through in life than losing his child. You can’t understand what this means right now—what it’s doing to me. You will only know when you become a father yourself.” He gently tapped Lo’ak on the chin so he would raise his head and look at him in the eye already. And when he did, Jake said what he said slowly, hoarsely. “But know this. Know I will lose myself if I lose you, or any of your siblings.” He turned to Neteyam as well, who was watching in full alert mode. “I’m fighting not to lose my sanity as we speak.”
Lo’ak swallowed, unsure and weirded out to hear something like this for the first time in his life. Jake didn’t blame him. He was never emotionally upfront or honest before, not even used to it, more awkward with it than his boys were. But none of that mattered. Not anymore, after what happened to you because of his shortcomings. “You just look so composed—“
“I have to be.” Jake shook his head, eyelids hanging heavy, his whole head was heavy. “I just can’t crumble under it, do you understand? I have to be strong. I can’t lose myself in it. Your sister needs me. You need me. To be strong.” He took his hands off the boy’s shoulders, putting a palm on his cheek and patting a few, fatherly times before backing off altogether. “Never say that I don’t care. Never. I might not show it—and it’s a father’s duty not to show it, so my family will have a stable anchor. Get what I’m saying?” 
Lo’ak looked reassured, lighter. So that’s what Neytiri had meant. “How… how can I help?”
His youngest son’s inclination to get to the root of the problem and pump out solutions was in consanguineous with his inability to stop and wait, uncomfortable in his skin when he couldn’t do anything to improve the situation and was confronted with the intimacy of having to feel, always wanting to act. Lo’ak was like Jake in that way. Awkward when it came to communication. Dishonest with themselves.  
“Stay here.” Jake said, right from his heart. “Stay safe. I don’t wish for anything else in this world.”
Lo’ak’s eyes softened, and as the father, Jake felt the renewal of the bond between them, saw the understanding in his youngest son, saw something else than the guilt and regret over being caught after mischief, for once. “I’m sorry, dad.”
“Don’t apologize.” He shared a meaningful look with him, trying to convey, again, his apology wasn’t what he wanted. Yet, his sons were defaulted to saying sorry half the time they spoke to him nowadays. Jake was understanding the severity of it, too much too late. Lo’ak nodded, ears tipped down slightly.
Then he turned to the eldest. “Neteyam—”
But he opened his mouth before Jake could say anything else. Ready. Always on his feet. “Yes, I will—”
Jake clicked his tongue. “Rest.”
Neteyam was about to say yes to whatever he was told to do, as always, but stopped right in the middle of it, voice catching in his throat, eyes blinking in confusion. “What?”
“Rest.” 
“But—”
“Rest, Neteyam, I won’t tell you again.”
God knows he needed it. Neteyam looked like he’d been having night terrors for days, accumulated anxiety making him jumpy. “Sorry, sir.”
“Stop—“ Jake caught himself before he could raise his voice. “Why are you apologizing?”
Neteyam didn’t talk for a while. But when he did, he was looking up at him underneath his lashes, unable to keep eye contact for more than two seconds. “It’s my fault.”
“Bro,” Lo’ak said, a pitiful objection.
Jake knew where this was going. “What is?” 
“I should have been there.” He pressed his mouth into a thin line before furrowing his brow, closing his eyes. Jake knew what he was seeing, repeated over and over again in his mind. “I should have known right away when I couldn’t catch up to her. I could have prevented it. It’s my responsibility.” One tear slipped by as he hung his head. “My fault.”
There it is.
Jake had told him before. “You’re the older brother, you gotta act like it.” — even though you and him were more like affable twins than older brother and younger sister that he never had to explicitly be a guardian to you like he was to Lo’ak, he had to be thinking this was his biggest failure. Neteyam was just reflecting what he’d been taught, the standards his father was holding him up to. Of course the boy had been overthinking it to the point where he was the catalyst to the event by not predicting your fakeout. 
“No,” Jake rasped, after a beat. “This is on me first, and the sky people who got to her second. And that’s the end of the story.”
Neteyam, up until this point, had to bear half the blame, if not the rest of it, for the consequences of his siblings’ actions. Upon receiving this kind of answer, he startled with an incredulous gasp and full stare at Jake. “But I—”
“It’s not about you, Neteyam,” Jake explained, although the words were harsh, he had done his best to soften the impact. “I did this. Blame me, okay?”
‘How could I?’ was written in neon letters over the boy’s head even if he didn’t say anything. Too good-natured. He idolized Jake a lot more than the man deserved. “Mother was… she was… She is grieving, she doesn’t mean it.”
“You gotta stop making excuses for people, boy. Especially when they’re in the right.” A smile pulled on his lips, but died as it was born. “I pushed and pushed until we reached the edge, thinking there was never an edge at all. I should have known better. I should have been better. This is between me and your sister, and that’s why it is me who has to go to the Tree of Souls.” 
And he’d left, but not before pulling his boys into his chest, cradling the back of their heads against himself, the smell of home repulsing instead of comforting. Prickles on his skin was the comfort he got from being able to hug his children when you were absent. It didn’t feel right. 
He missed you dearly, an aching, gaping hole in his very being that only grew larger as he saw what you left behind half-completed or messy like you’d stood up and gone off for a minute to come back to it later — 
The unmade pallet from the night of your Iknimaya argument that Jake had shed tears on when he’d seen the state of it, having the signs of someone getting up from it like you would be returning to go back to sleep any second.
The unfinished bark plate you had set aside to eat later and fought Lo’ak not to touch it. a squabble Jake had to break before you started wasting food by throwing it at each other. 
The stack of fruits you’d gathered that you never shared except for Neytiri sometimes. 
The half-carved cup you were working on because the regular cups weren’t big enough for your water needs and you didn’t like to refill it about three times until you were satisfied. 
The incomplete anklet you were making out of rainbow beads for Tuk that was confidential to everyone but Jake, who knew from observing you, of course — you were missing a couple colors that you just couldn’t seem to find, nagging his head off to just let you roam around farther and there was no danger as the sky people couldn’t get in the vortex.  
The little animal doodles you scratched at your side of the tent when you couldn’t sleep at nights, waking Jake up in the process every single time to listen until your breathing evened out as sleep retook you in its arms again, because he was bodily programmed to startle awake at one single rustle in his living quarters from his Marine days and fell into old habits after the return of the sky people, he knew you had developed insomnia from being uncomfortable at High Camp, longing for your hammock cocooned in the safety and comfort of the forest.
And the dumb romance novels you had taken from the humans that you, Kiri and Tuk giggled about at girl’s nights reading out loud, Spider invited as an honorary guest at times, just so you could tease Kiri about him and annoy your brothers that they weren’t allowed in, but the human boy was. 
All of them had no owner now. Neither of your family members could look at them, your ghost would appear in precious memories beside your belongings if they looked too much. He didn't need to concentrate for a phantom of you to appear, you were everywhere he looked, and even now, as the gently pulsating lavender humming, a song from Eywa herself, right underneath the veinlike, labyrinthine roots was the cool summer rain on Jake’s sizzling skin, all he could see was your first communion with Eywa in his arms while Neytiri formed the tsaheylu, the clan spread all around them in celebration. 
“You’ve called, and I’ve answered,” he greeted in positivity. “I think this is the most direct you’ve been with me in a long while.”
He didn’t know if it was Eywa or you he was saying this to. He genuinely didn’t know. 
Kneeling, and putting his arms on the mossy, thick root, he looked up to see the woodsprites swaying and floating in the air. He reached for his braid, letting the squirming nerve-endings coil around the white-cored lavender thread closest to him, taking in the presence of Eywa, all around yet nowhere at all, but listening. No sign of you. Was he supposed to talk like this? Just like this? Was he not allowed to see you? 
Jake had to admit he had been harboring the tiniest expectation of meeting you somehow, or hearing your voice through the connection like he did with a Tree of Voices when Mo’at had cryptically informed him of his chance. But this was it? 
If he failed, this would be it. 
“I guess this isn’t all that different,” he said out loud, instead of thinking inwards where the confusion flew. “It’s been like this for a while now, you and I. You talk, I don’t hear you. I talk, you don’t hear me. We throw the same ball at each other only for it to bounce back. Monologuing to a tree is the same thing, except it doesn’t talk back like you do.” 
He looked up and around, there was nothing else to do. The air was the same as it always was in here. Always accommodating to what each Na’vi found comforting. “The last time I came here like this was to ask for Eywa’s help in the last stand against sky people. I told her I would fight either way, I knew that’s why she’d chosen me. All my life, all I’ve done was fight. Even when I wasn’t able to, I was fighting lesser battles with the excuse of not having anything to fight for. It’s all I’ve known. All I’ve ever done. It’s what I was best at.” His brow twitched, and Jake tried to keep his composure, not because he didn’t want anybody to see, no, it was to keep his shit together so he didn’t fuck this up. He had to be honest. His pride was the last thing he needed in his way at the moment. 
“You were born to a different man. To a changed man. To a father who could let go because he thought his family was safe. You got to meet the man I used to be when my reason for fighting came back from my star. I know you don’t like that person — you can’t — couldn’t get used to him. I know.” 
From the discomfort, his fingers dug into the moss first, and found the bark of the root, his fist curling on it next. “But I had to keep fighting.” He softly brought his fist back on the root. “The strong prey on the weak, that’s just how things are. That’s how I had it on my star. And my kids — you, you are weak, and it’s not an insult — it’s not me criticizing, Jesus, you are just children, and there’s a war on your damn heads. That’s what I mean. That’s what I’ve always meant. It’s natural that you are weak, Eywa was kind enough to let you be soft. Not Earth, though, never Earth.” 
Jake had to clench his teeth and bite the anger into the inside of his mouth to not be boiled alive — not to let it reach to your side. He let out a soundless snarl. “You would never be ready for the cruelty of Earth, I would never wish that upon any of you. But it was brought to you. Right at your doorstep. I couldn’t protect you from it by hugs and kisses. You wouldn’t be safe from a gun extended to you by extending a branch in return. No.” 
He reached and caressed the glowing thread, brows furrowed. “I did what I thought was right to prepare you. Every single one of you. I was making you tough. I had to. To protect you. And of course there would be clashing along the way, it’s what happens between parent and child. We fight. We fight like cats and dogs for dominance. You try me to show strength. I stand my ground to let you know you gotta do better.” 
He had fired those sentences with incoherent speed, and when he got to the end of it, Jake got choked up. Stopped for a moment, took a breath. Blinking several times, his tone became vulnerable, he didn’t have anyone in front of him, but he tore away his gaze anyway. “Somewhere along the way, things just… Without me noticing, everything…” He sighed through his nose, his voice nothing but a whisper. “I fought more battles than I fought for my family. I thought I was doing my job as a father when I didn’t even know shit about being a father.” 
A couple seconds floated by, and his gaze was stolen by a lone woodsprite descending down until it staggered on the fist he had against the root. The shine of it reflected from the mistiness of his eyes. His lower lip slightly trembled at the thought of it being you. This little woodsprite. You? 
“The thing is, I’m lost, sweetheart,” he admitted quietly, small, shaky, not taking his eyes off the woodsprite. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I sit here, I look back, and think why I keep fighting. We could have migrated. Looked for a new Hometree. Another forest. Left the humans alone. Or made peace. A treaty. Something. None of your lives had to be sullied by war. Yet I chose this. I chose to fight, as I ‘ve always done, because now I had something to fight for. And the fighting wasn’t limited to them, I fought Neteyam, I fought Lo’ak, I fought you, my own kids, and I didn’t even know.” 
He reached for it with his other hand, tentatively, scared that it would fly away with the slightest contact. But he was able to touch the top of the woodsprite ever so slightly, the little zap making all the hair on his body stand up. Jake swallowed thickly, his whole head on fire. “I don’t know what to do. I just miss you. I miss you so much, sweet girl. I wish you would scream at me. Say you hate me for all I care. Anything. Hate me until the day you die, but do it with all of your family surrounding you in old age, in peace. I would be content knowing you are under the same sky as me. But I’m forgetting your voice already, and I—” He held back a violent sob, hissed to not let it out, and groaned, getting angry at himself for the emotions. He shut his eyes tightly, willing away the tears. “I wish I could say these to your face. I wish I could see you one last time, smiling at me.”
Having everything to lose. Having lost everything. Having nothing to lose. Three different meanings had coiled around each other like snakes to become one singular outcome in linear relation of cause-and-effect through you. It wasn’t a cycle.
Having something to fight for. Having nothing left to fight for. Having nothing to fight for. You were everything. Everything. What could Jake do? How was he supposed to fight when he had no concrete opponent? 
“I see you.”
The voice — your voice, albeit much, much younger, almost made him jump. When his eyes shot open, Jake was in a different location. He knew this place. The creek away from the village he and his family often frequented. 
The twilight penumbra of the eclipse dimmed the shadows embracing the forest, but the ethereally glowing lights of all colors illuminated and got reflected from the water as if it was a mirror. Above and all around him were lazily dancing fireflies — or, rather, bioluminescent bugs he didn’t know the names of, tiny stars floating in the air like glitter. It was magical.
Jake realized with aching melancholy that this was the first time he’d taken you out on an eclipse to show you the beauty of the forest on a special father-daughter date. The exact memory.  
The breath that left him was shaky as he felt the presence sitting right beside him, in the corner of his vision, he saw the ripples on the shining water made by swinging legs. 
Jake froze for a second. Unmoving. Not looking at all — because if this was a dream, or a hallucination, he wouldn’t be able to bear it. His breathing got louder, more labored, the log underneath his hands was so realistically textured and damp. If he looked. If he looked, you would disappear. That’s how he felt. 
He was supposed to talk. But now, his ribcage was holding the words hostage, burning with the strain of the pile-up. 
“But I’m sad you don’t see me,” you said, and he was shaken by hearing your voice yet again, remembering the moment he found himself here, how he’d heard — ‘I see you’. “You don’t even want to look at me.”
So much hurt and vulnerability in that sentence that it left him breathless. 
It all happened in a matter of seconds. Him launched into his own turmoil racking his brain about how Quaritch was back as an avatar, ignoring to look at you to protect his composure and just trying to think, think — think, of a plan, of a how, of what to do. You calling after him once Neytiri, you and he arrived at High Camp after dodging Quaritch’s men. Him purposefully walking away because he needed to cool off and not to explode on you right there and there.  
That whole time, Jake hadn’t looked at you. If he did, he would have seen you needed help.
He shattered, all of his walls crumbling down, stripped down to bare despair. 
“Oh sweetheart.” Before he knew it, he had wrapped his arms around you in a crushing hug, basically snatching you off from where you were sitting and on his lap, and your warmth, your pulse, your tangible existence wrenched a shiver out of him — and he buried his face to the little crook of your neck, taking your scent in, hiding his trembling face and the quiver of his arms by holding you tight. You were here. As your younger self, no older than eight, but he had you. Not bloody and battered in his arms, but alive, so alive. “Oh sweet girl, my sweet girl… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He kissed the side of your head, felt the real tickle of your hair against his face, blessed with the soothe of his child’s smell. “I see you. Of course I see you. I’ve always seen you.” 
The snowflake-frail snivel followed by your sobbing sniffle broke his heart into pieces. “You’re a liar.” He shook his head, hugging you tighter. “You’re mean to me. You’re so mean to me.”
“I’m sorry.” That was all he could say. All he could do with his thrashing soul smoldering at the wetness of your tears on his shoulder. “I am mean. I’m sorry… You’re right, I’m sorry.” 
“It hurt so much.” You wailed. “It hurt a lot.” 
Jake began to caress your head with an awkward, clumsy, panicked hand, disturbed as to if you meant the moment of your death — at him pressing on the wound with all he had to stop the bleeding, or he and your strained relationship in general. “I know, sweetheart,” he said anyway, a stone clogging his throat. He didn’t try to explain, or tell you why, didn’t argue that it wasn’t what he meant to do. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. He had you in his arms. “I know. I know.” 
You wouldn’t get to be younger than this. And maybe, he would never get to see you be older, either. The thought crumpled his face like some piece of paper. Jake just wanted to hold you. And when you wrapped your little arms around him too, freely crying in his arms, a couple tears escaped his eyes as well, he didn’t know what kind of face he was making, perhaps it was better that you didn’t see him crumble. 
In the middle of it somewhere, he realized that you were younger because it was your inner child that needed this, she was more honest — more open with Jake. It caused him to sway with you back and forth, ribcage hurting with each breath. And you let it all out, clinging to him. 
“I love you, always,” he whispered, watching the bioluminescent bugs, when you were calmer and had fallen silent on his chest, not wanting to let him go and just listening to his heartbeat. “Even if I don’t show it — especially when I don’t show it. You are loved, my sweet girl, more than you know. More than you’ll ever know. More than I can show.” He looked down at the top of your head, agonized. “But I want to try. I want to show you more, moving forward.”
Knowing what he was insinuating, “But it’s nice here,” you said, voice thick and coarse from crying. You still didn’t pull back to look at him. Both of you, from the start of this, never looked at one another. Not once. Embarrassed and shameful to be honest, Jake thought. That pride you two shared. “You’re not mean to me here.”
But he needed to see you. You needed to be seen. So, as gently as he could, he unwrapped your arms around him, and took your baby cheeks in his hands, and looked you in the eyes. Another tear slipped from him. “You been listenin’ to me, right sweetheart? From the start?” You nodded adorably. You wouldn’t have said oel ngati kameie and accepted to let him see you if you hadn’t felt his true intentions and heart through him pouring it all out at the Tree of Souls. “I’m hiding a lot of things. But I want to be open with you. You wanna know the secret why I’m… mean?” You nodded again, more reluctant this time. “It’s because I’m scared.”
You gasped, genuinely lost and shocked, and he tried not to smile at the purity, the innocence. “You? You’re scared?”
“All the damn time,” he whispered, landing a kiss on your temple, his opposite thumb tracing a loving line on your other temple. “Every day. Every night.”
“But you’re Toruk Makto. You’re never scared.”
“I’m also a dad,” he said sorrowfully, as if he was giving out a secret. “And it’s precisely why I’m scared. I’m scared for you. For your siblings. Of losing you. It turns into anger. Anger turns into irreparable damage. Things I can’t take back.”
In the blink of an eye, you were back to your real age. For some reason he couldn’t quite grasp, you had shed the exterior of your childhood. But he didn’t mind, didn’t let you off his lap. 
“Don’t be scared, I’m here,” you said, putting your own small palm on his cheek, upset by the fact that he was feeling like that in the first place rather than whatever explanation he had. Your response was also childish, but he leaned into your touch anyway, comforted regardless, even if you were already gone — for this moment, he could ignore that no, you weren’t here at all. “If you told us, we would have been more careful not to make you sad.” 
Ah, he was being lectured on communication by his kid. It had a certain flavor of humbleness to it. Jake adored it nonetheless. “I know,” he said, “I’m sorry. I won’t be mean anymore.”
“That’s a lie.”
Jake couldn’t stop the laugh, though it was tottering. “Yeah, it is. But I promise you that I’ll never hurt you again.”
“That’s a lie too. Wasn’t it you who said not to make promises you can’t keep?”
“Alright, smartypants, let me rephrase it then,” the little glimpses of your brash self made him happy. “I will never intentionally hurt you, and if I end up doing so, unknowingly, I will always make it up to you. No exceptions.” 
You were acting uninterested, but stole intrigued glances at him. “How are you gonna make it up to me?”
“I’ll let you choose, how does that sound?” Jake tapped your nose. “In return, if I don’t know and haven’t taken the first step, you’ll have to tell me outright what I did.”
You deadpanned. “But I always do.”
“No, you don’t.” He raised one of his eyebrows. “You become passive-aggressive when you’re annoyed and pick fights with me.”
“That’s not—”
“Sweetheart.” 
“Okay, fine.” You huffed. The normalcy had made him forget just what he was doing here. “But you get angry.”
“What I get angry at is—” He cut himself off with a tongue click. “Not important. I do get angry. But at sincere honesty, us just talking it out, I could never get angry at that. Is the difference clear?”
“I think it is.” You were apprehensive about something, your fingers on his neck flexing as if you wanted to pull them back and break the hug. “But you have to promise.”
“I promise.” And then, Jake remembered, a new fire hardening his face, not in anger, but determination. “And speaking of which. I would never. Ever. Not in a million years would get angry or blame you for getting hurt to that degree — for others, humans, avatars, whoever and whatever the hell they are, hurting you, I could never get mad at you for it. Do you understand me? Your safety is the most important to me. I could never hate you for it.” His voice dropped down to a softer, gentler tone just above a whisper. “There is nothing in this world that’ll make me hate you. Nothing. I will love you through the most heinous crimes and in inexcusable deeds, you will find forgiveness in me even if there’s nobody left, that’s a father’s heart. Forever and always, I am with you.” He touched his forehead, and then yours. “I see you.”
You avoided eye contact. 
Ah, yes, the famous emotional awkwardness. He was sort of aware his feelings had reached you, you just didn’t know what to say. Jake hadn’t been like this with you for the longest time. So, he decided to make you more comfortable. “Yes I will get mad at you for breaking curfew, and yes, we might stop talking for a while and beef about the dumbest things if the fight is too intense — but always, always come to me when something is wrong. I will drop everything without hesitation.” He leaned in a bit to catch your wayward stare. “Got it?”
You murmured. “Okay.”
“Are we clear?”
You murmured once more. “Yeah.”
“Repeat it, then.”
There was something between cringing and unwillingness on your face, but at his pointed look, you sighed, giving in. “Always come to you if something’s wrong even if we’re fighting.”
“That’s right,” he affirmed, encouraging to let you know this wasn’t embarrassing. “What else?”
You shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Dad will always love you.” He nudged you, noting the flick of your ears in happiness when he’d said it. “Come on, say it.”
You didn’t look at him when you said it, but your voice was light. “Dad will always love me…”
“Dad will never hate you.”
Sheepishness took over, making Jake smile. “Dad will never hate me.”
“And. Come talk to me about it if I’ve ever hurt you without noticing so I can make it up to you.”
“Always go to you if I’m hurt and you’re unaware of it.”
“That’s right,” in this form as well, he gave your temple another kiss, heart soaring at your beautiful smile he had been dying to see. “Good girl.”
“You’re giving me a lot of power.” 
“Nothing my mighty hunter can’t handle.” 
The smile on your face died down. It came to Jake right away what had gone wrong. “Sweetheart—” “I didn’t mean that. You know—” But you didn’t know. Jake had to stop trying to make it easier on himself. “I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of you. About everything. About the ikran, I’m so goddamn proud. I said it, and I can’t take that back, I was angry and I was trying reverse psychology — you know what, it doesn’t matter. But you are my mighty hunter. Will always be.”
You got confident a bit, but were still testing the waters. “Well I proved I am.”
“Yes, you did,” he rejoiced, no rejection or doubt whatsoever. “Message received, Lima Charlie.”
You giggled freely, joyfully at the recognition, and Jake ached again remembering how much he’d missed that carefree, precious thing, he swore pixie dust was in it. You slipped from his lap to sit crossed-legged beside him, and he instantly missed being able to hold you close. “Wish you were there to see me.”
“Me too, sweet girl.” Your Iknimaya was a disaster. A long-passed, sacred tradition broken wasn’t as important to him as it was to Neytiri — but he knew she longed to see you complete it, by your side, as eagerly as he did. And you had been alone in your pride, when he knew from a very young age, you had been the most excited for it. Everything had been ruined and there was nothing he could do to undo it. “Will you tell me about it?”
The phantom of pensiveness on his face hadn’t quite registered with you yet, getting excited to tell him all about it like nothing had happened the moment you knew Jake wanted to know. As if you weren’t dead. As if nothing was wrong. “Well first of all, I broke Neteyam’s record.”
A mournful smile tugged on his lips. “Did you now?”
“Hell yeah!” You started gesturing with your arms. “It took, like, two minutes? One minute? Too easy.”
“You know easy means the ikran didn’t give you much of a fight, right?”
“Or, or.” One finger was raised up at him to raise another option. “I was too skilled.” 
“The ikran might have been meh about you.” Jake teased. “You sure it chose you? Or did you just chase it down and it was stuck with you?”
“That’s so wrong!” He threw his head back to laugh at your outburst. “He was watching me get there the whole time! Like, from the start. His eye was on me, I just know it. You’re just jealous you didn’t get Bob like I got Jack. I was badass.”
That made him pause. “Jack?”
“Yeah, his name’s Jack.”
He couldn’t imagine Neytiri’s reaction to the blandest name imaginable, oh god. “Why?”
“Named him after you.” You tipped your head at him, raising your brows. “It’s healing, you know. He listens to me without questioning. He’s also very sweet. Unlike a certain someone.” 
“Oh you little shit—” 
“I didn’t say anything.” Raising your hands in defense first, you crossed your arms on your chest next. “Certain someone can mean anyone. It can mean Lo’jack—”
“Lo’jack, really? Really?” Jake half-snorted, half-scoffed. “This a new one after Lovak?”
“Jackiri—”
“Jackiri is pretty sweet, c’mon now,” he gave a blank stare. “Hope you’re not gonna say Jackeyam.”
“Jacktirey?” You asked, undecided. “She’s an anklebiter.”
“Oh, for sure.” 
“Could be Jack the Ripper, Bojack Horseman, Jack-in-a-box. Jack-o-lantern.”
“All people, of course.”
“Yeah, all people.” You snapped your fingers in mock-remembrance. “Hit the road Jack.” 
“Oh wow, even him?” Jake lowered his voice, leaning towards you, mocking astonishment. “Legendary figure, that guy.”
“Jack of All Trades.”
“Well, that ikran really seems to be one to me.”
“I know, right?” You stopped, and he saw that thought process, and before he could open his mouth, you blurted it out. “Unlike a certain someone I know.”
“You punk.” Jake pushed you lightly by your shoulder. “You’re pushin’ it.”
You smiled with all your teeth at him, with hands on your calves, leaning down to act cute, and Jake could pretend this was normal. That he’d fixed everything. And all was right in the world now that you were laughing with him — he’d made you smile. . 
But suddenly you looked scared, looking at something over his shoulder, shrunken pupils focusing on him and whatever it was rapidly. It kicked him awake from his delusion. He tensed, tail jumping upwards, straight as a rod. “What is it, sweetheart? What’s wrong?”
Your breath hitched, and the next thing he knew, you had pushed him away, and he was falling towards the water. The last thing he saw was only a blur of you — the bioluminescent bugs became shooting stars with a thread of glow left behind them, the whole world tilted, but he didn’t hit the water, instead, he rolled down the small slope he had to climb to reach the tree. 
Disoriented, he saw the root was almost split in half — bullet marks, a cloud of splinters and debris was flying around where he used to be sitting. 
A lone avatar just ahead. Having made it all the way to the Tree of Souls. He didn’t know where this man had come from. 
Heart picking up and roaring in his ears, all Jake could think about was, One chance. 
He hadn’t even spoken to you properly yet, hadn’t said all the things he wanted to, hadn't even gotten your word, and this man — this son of a bitch — humans had taken you once again. 
Once again. 
You will only have one chance. 
“Lucky asshole,” the man looked at him behind the barrel of the long assault rifle. “Gonna make you pay for what you pulled yesterday.”
Your ethereal smile going up in smokes at the back of his head, Jake saw red.  
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milksnake-tea · 9 months
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━━ under the lotus leaves.
You've known Dan Feng long before he became the High Elder of the Vidyadhara, before he donned the title of Imbibitor Lunae and became the legend he is known as now. Long ago, back when the two of you were mere children, playing in the waters of the Xianzhou Luofu.
imbibitor lunae (dan feng) x gn!reader
contains: childhood friends au, set before dan feng is a criminal, slow burn, long fic, ooc!character for the first half bc he's growing up and is an annoying teen, mentions of blade's real name, death, spoilers for 1.2
genres: mostly fluff, hurt/comfort, some angst bittersweet ending
word count: 8.6k
a/n: please do note that this is dan feng, not dan heng. and therefore i take a lot more liberties with how he is because i firmly believe that dan feng was more of a bitch than dan heng BYE ALSO THIS IS UNEDITED !! ILL EDIT IT TMRW WHEN I WAKE UP I JUST HAD TO GET THIS OUT BYE
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Your best friend was an extraordinary being.
There was no doubt about it. Regarded as both the strongest and wisest of your people, he was chosen as the High Elder, Imbibitor Lunae. And he has served you well.
His feats are plenty, with his joining the esteemed High-Cloud Quintet, and you couldn't count the amount of time he'd saved the Xianzhou on one hand. He was smart, intelligent, and witty, quick to understand situations and formulate the best solutions. His enemies feared his presence on the battlefield, and his friends trusted him with their lives.
As did you.
You, a mere civilian. A single face among thousands of Vidyadhara, another footstep among the crowd. You, who have lived through his past and present. You, who knew him better than he knew himself.
You, who has been by his side since the very beginning.
It was a stormy day when you first met Dan Feng.
You were just a child back then, a Vidyadhara only eight years of age. Normally, at this stage in your life, you'd be guided by the current high elder, but it seems that you had undergone your cycle at the same time as the past high elder.
So as life would have it, you would instead be raised by your seniors, while the Preceptors tended to the newly reborn high elder. A skilled weaver in your past incarnation, you were taken in by your then coworkers, and raised within your craft of making lotus silk.
As such, your childhood was filled with looms, lotus flowers, and spinning threads. You spent your free time in the gardens of lotus flowers, hiding from your caretakers amongst the tall stems and diving into the waters to swim amongst them. You may not have had the draconic features of the High Elder, but you still adored the water like any other Vidyadhara.
And as it would seem, so did the High Elder.
It had been a hot and sunny day at the Luofu. The rays were smoldering on your back as you waded through the lotus fields, thankful for the cold water splashing against your legs. You squinted against the sun, adjusting your leaf hat on your head. Tucked against your arm was a woven basket filled with lotus stems, all of which would have fiber extracted from them.
The tall leaves and flowers of the lotuses dwarfed your child self in comparison, although you weren’t complaining. Although the water sloshed around your thighs, requiring you to roll up your pants more than your older coworkers, the leaves served as temporary relief from the sun’s rays.
You pushed stems aside, the field looking more akin to a jungle to you. You only needed one more before you could return home to the comfort of an air conditioner in order to extract the fibers for the threads. Thankfully, that wouldn’t have to wait long.
Once you found a suitable stem to harvest, you snapped it from its roots and began to wash it in the water. Your basket floated next to you, you keeping an eye on it to make sure it wouldn’t float away.
But then, you heard the stems rustle, and the waters splashing as something entered your field. Immediately, you stood up straight, holding the lotus stem more like a weapon than a crop.
“Who’s there?” you called out, your voice ringing through the silent and tranquil fields.
No response.
You huffed, carefully setting down your stem in the basket. Whoever it was probably thought you weren’t a threat merely because of your age. You’d prove them wrong.
You heard the stems rustle one more time, snapping your head towards the source. Picking up your basket, you marched over to a large clump of lotuses, a perfect hiding spot (you would know, you’ve used it many times before). A shadow around your size moved within them, submerging itself into the water.
You rolled your eyes. Another kid, then. 
Pushing the stems aside, you saw the flicker of a draconic tail splashing the water, almost wagging as its owner lay face-first in the murky water. Without a second thought, you set aside your basket, grabbed the tail with your grubby little hands, and pulled hard.
“OW!”
The tail’s owner toppled out of the water, crashing into you in the process and knocking your foreheads together. You yelped, falling into the water with a splash as you held your aching forehead.
“What was that for?!” A child-like voice, much like your own berated you, a whine in his tone.
Glaring through your tears, you shouted back at him. “That was for bumming around on my farm!”
Your victim/intruder, a young boy with long hair, met your glare with equal fire. “I wasn’t ‘bumming around’, I was just… Cooling off! It’s hot today.”
You squinted, clearly not impressed. “I don’t care what you were doing! You’re not doing it on my farm.”
He lashed his tail angrily, splashing you in the process. “I’m the High Elder. I do what I want.”
You stared at him for a good second, taking in his appearance. He was a Vidyadhara around your age, only he had draconic-like horns protruding from his head. His long black hair flowed around him, and his fancy white robes were drenched in lotus water. It would’ve been obvious to anyone that he was a noble, someone of higher standing.
“No you’re not,” you said, deadpanning. “You’re too small.”
The self-proclaimed High Elder flushed red with embarrassment, jumping to his feet.
“I’m still growing!” he insisted, stamping his feet and splashing water everywhere.
“The High Elder’s supposed to be big and powerful!” you said, throwing your arms in the air to emphasize your point. “You’re… a kid!”
“You’re a kid too-!” The High Elder froze in the middle of his sentence, his tail stiffening at the sound voices - adult voices. Quickly, he grabbed you by the collar of your robe and pulled you into the shadows of the clump.
“Hey-!” He slapped his hand over your mouth to shut you up. In retaliation, you licked at his hand, the young boy recoiling in disgust.
“Did you just lick me?!” he hissed, looking at his hand in horror. 
“You’re the one who just grabbed me-”
“Shh!!” He put a finger to his mouth, shushing you. “Be quiet! Can’t you see I’m hiding?”
“From what, the Cloud Knights?” you gasped, backing up. “Are you a criminal?!”
He gave you a look. “No! I told you, I’m the High-”
“High Elder? Are you there?”
This time, you both slapped a hand over each other’s mouths. An unfamiliar adult voice shouted over the fields, calling for the boy beside you. You both waited with bated breath as the man searched on the other side of the field, only letting go when he was far enough away.
“You weren’t lying?” you whispered excitedly, looking up at the boy with newfound respect. He crossed his arms, looking all high and mighty now.
“Why would I be lying?” he said matter-of-factly. “You were the one who didn’t believe me.”
You really wanted to make a witty comment, but then you remembered your stems, floating out in the sun. Panic seized you. You couldn’t let those stems dry. If they did, they’d be useless to you.
You jumped to your feet, hurriedly running to your stems. Thankfully, they were still where you left them, and in the shade. You sighed in relief, knowing that you would live to see another day.
You peeked your head over the lotus heads, spotting the man who was calling for the High Elder. He was wearing some pretty fancy robes himself, the robes you recognized as belonging to a Preceptor.
Cradling your basket once again, you walked back to where the High Elder was hiding. He looked up at you in surprise as you reached towards what used to be a preening lotus flower, now a pod filled with green seeds. 
You snapped it off the stem and popped out one of the seeds. After peeling the green skin to reveal the white center, you handed it to the High Elder.
“Want one?”
The High Elder was wary at first, but eventually took the seed. He chewed it in his mouth for a little bit, his eyes brightening at the taste.
“It’s sweet,” he said in surprise. You nodded, taking one for yourself before giving him the pod.
“You have the rest on this one,” you said. You pointed in the direction of the Preceptor. “The big guy looking for you is over there, by the way.”
“Oh.” He took the pod in his hands, still a bit freaked out by how it looked. “Thank you.”
“Master always said I have to make it up when I do something bad,” you said, picking up your stems. With a start, the High Elder seemed to realize that you were apologizing. “Anyway, I have to go now. The fibers will dry up if I stay out here too long.”
“Wait!” The High Elder called out, reaching for you. You turned around, raising a brow. His tail waved nervously behind him as his hand faltered. “What’s your name?”
As you answered him, in the back of your head, you could’ve sworn you’d read this scene before. 
You tilted your head curiously. “What’s yours?”
His expression was strange. It was a smile of relief and happiness, just from you not knowing his name. The waters responded to his joy, swirling gently around him.
“Dan Feng,” he said, his tail wagging slightly. “My name is Dan Feng.”
You remember seeing him dragged out of the fields a few hours later. You had been extracting fibers from the stems you’d collected when you’d heard the commotion. 
Dan Feng was having his ear talked off by the Preceptor, but he was being awfully obedient. The two of you had met gazes, and he had sheepishly waved at you. Your hands were busy with your work, so all you could do was giggle at his predicament.
Of course, that wouldn’t be the last time you saw the High Elder - far from it. 
Dan Feng would visit your farm often, whether it was for eating more lotus seeds, dragging you to go swim with him, or just to watch you work. Your mentors and coworkers grew accustomed to seeing the young Vidyadhara waiting for you outside the workshop.
All of his visits would end in the same way - a Preceptor would come and take him away for his studies, droning on about his duty as the High Elder while Dan Feng rolled his eyes behind their back.
It wasn’t like he hated his duty. You knew better than anyone that Dan Feng took pride in his role, he was just… stubborn.
“What are you doing?”
You flinched at the boy in question’s voice. Dan Feng was practically talking in your ears, his face right next to yours. You leaned away, batting away at him.
“None of your business,” you said, turning your back towards him as to hide your hands. Dan Feng pouted but didn’t push.
“If you say so.” He turned his gaze back to the open fields. His legs kicked as he dangled on the stone wall alongside you.
You sat in comfortable silence, feeling as the spring breeze blew gently around you. It was tranquil and quiet, as the lotus fields always were.
Dan Feng found he preferred it that way. It was nice to get away from the droning words of the Preceptors, and this little farm served as his favorite sanctuary. He could spend his days here forever, just being by your side.
His eyes shifted towards you again. You were oddly concentrated today, he noted, working on whatever was in your hands right now. It was unlike you to be so quiet. Usually, you’d be talking about the latest gossip you’d heard from your mentors, or complaining about the weather again.
He strained his neck, trying to see just what was taking your attention away from him. But alas, you saw him and snatched it away from him again. Frustrated, he blew at his hair, lashing his tail in impatience.
Oh, well. If you weren’t going to show him, you weren’t going to show it. It wasn’t like he wanted to see it anyways.
Dan Feng went back to spacing out, closing his eyes, crossing his legs, and focusing on the world around him. If he wasn’t going to do anything, he might as well meditate.
He reached his senses into the fields, losing himself in the environment. His ears were filled with the rustle of each individual leaf, the soft splashing of water, the croak of the frogs, and the buzzing of insects that inhabited the fields.
He could feel how the wind felt on every plant, the warmth of the sun not just on his skin, but on the skin of the other aquatic animals. At that moment, Dan Feng became one with the world. Nothing could break his concentration.
Nothing, except perhaps for you, who was trying to grab his hand as stealthily as possible.
Dan Feng snapped his eyes open when you took his left hand in yours. Apparently, you were too engrossed in your task to notice his eyes on you.
You slid something onto his ring finger. Dan Feng tilted his head, raising his hand to stare at whatever it was you put on him.
A band of woven grasses encircled his finger, the braid intricate and tight. Dan Feng looked at it in confusion, rotating his hand to get a better view of it.
“Do you like it?” you said proudly.
“What is it?” he asked, bringing it to his face to observe.
“It’s a ring,” you said obviously. You showed him your dominant hand, which had a matching ring on it. “I saw a couple of girls the other day with those friendship bracelets. I figured since we’ve known each other for a few years now, we should have something like that too.”
“Oh.” Dan Feng blushed at your words, a giddy feeling bubbling within his chest. Suddenly, the ring on his finger felt heavier, but also much, much warmer.
“It’s nice, right?” you hummed, holding your hand to the sky. “I mean, it’s not like one of those beads you can just buy, but I think it’s pretty special.”
“I love it.” Dan Feng beamed softly, holding his hand close to his chest. “I’ll treasure it forever.”
It melted your heart to see him so ecstatic over something as simple as a grass ring. He was quite literally glowing from happiness, his draconic parts illuminating with a soft sea green.
“I’m glad,” you said, hugging your knees to your chest. 
Dan Feng looked at you, gratitude brimming in his eyes. He didn’t reach out to hug you (although he certainly wanted to), but rather, only wrapped his tail around your waist, tugging you closer to him.
You loved Dan Feng, you really did. But sometimes, you really wanted to tie him up and throw him in a ditch.
You sigh loudly in frustration, jabbing at Dan Feng’s wound with an alcohol-infused pad. The boy in question hissed in pain at your actions.
“Would it kill you to be gentler?” he attempted to jolt away, but your hold on his arm was firm.
It had been many years since you two had first met. The two of you were adolescents now, nearing adulthood.
Dan Feng had appeared at your doorstep after training once again to escape his mentors, only this time with a bloodied gash on his shoulder. He’d tried to hide it from you, but to little success.
“Why didn’t you tell anyone about this?” you shot back, angrily wrapping his wound with bandages. Dan Feng averted his gaze.
“It wasn’t anything they needed to know,” he said quietly. You paused in your wrapping to stare at him incredulously.
“Are you kidding me?!” You pulled on the bandages, tightening them. Dan Feng winced at your loud voice, waving his hand for you to quiet down. Granted, you did, but you still decided on berating him.
“Feng'er, this is serious,” you said through gritted teeth. “It’s not one of those scratches you can just lick away. What if it had gotten infected?”
Dan Feng sighed, opting to stay silent and instead watch you work. Despite your harsh tone, he knew that you were just worried about him. He didn’t blame you, the wound was pretty serious.
His eyes softened as he saw your hands trembling as they worked. Your face was a mask of angry calm, but he could see the shake in your eyes.
“...sorry.”
You blinked. “What was that?”
Dan Feng dropped his gaze guiltily. “I’m sorry. I made you worry.”
“When do you not make me worry?” you joke, tying the bandage into a bow. Dan Feng smiled sheepishly.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, touching your hand with his tail. “How should I make it up to you this time?”
“Hm…” You pondered the question, tapping at your chin before brightening with an idea. “I got it. How about showing me that little trick you were bragging to me about earlier, with the cloudhymm?”
Dan Feng laughed airily. “You always ask for that.”
“Well, no one around here knows cloudhymm except for you,” you said, crossing your legs on the floor. Your eyes practically glowed in anticipation - Dan Feng wanted to compare you to a puppy awaiting a treat. 
The thought made his lips twitch as he held back his laugh. You rolled your eyes playfully, nudging him eagerly.
“So pushy,” he said dramatically, but you knew he was just teasing. He sat up straight, smoothed out his robes, and without further ado, he began his personal spectacle for you.
With just a flick of his finger, water materialized around him, taking the form of white lotus flowers in the air. Droplets stilled, as though someone had stopped time in the middle of a rainstorm.
You’ve seen this view many times before, but you were still amazed each and every time. A lotus flower hovered in front of you, bursting into a cloud of mist as you touched it.
You giggled, leaning back onto your hands, watching the lotuses drift off into the air. Unbeknownst to you, Dan Feng was preparing a whole nother surprise for you.
As your attention was captured by the lotuses, Dan Feng swirled his finger in the air. His signature teal water erupted in a spiral, taking the form of a roaring dragon. You jumped in surprise as it circled around you, flying toward the ceiling.
Dan Feng made the dragon dance around the lotuses, even bumping against your cheek. You squeaked as it did, light-heartedly glaring at Dan Feng. He only smirked back at you, before he enraptured your gaze with the dragon once again.
It glided towards the ceiling again, curling into a glowing orb of water. Dan Feng made a fist, and the dragon and the lotuses burst into a fine mist, making rainbows in the late evening light.
You were glimmering with awe, a permanent smile fixed onto your lips as you reached towards the ceiling to catch the mist. It was cool against your skin, like a little kiss from the rain.
“Am I forgiven now?” Dan Feng asked, amused.
You rolled your eyes. “Only if you promise to tell someone the next time you get injured.”
Dan Feng laughed. “Yes, yes, of course.”
You turned to look at him, only to find that he had been watching you this entire time, a fond smile on his lips.
“Are you sure about this?”
Dan Feng whispered anxiously as you skillfully maneuvered through dark alleyways and streetlights, your hand clasped tightly in his. 
He kept looking back behind him, just to make sure that you weren’t being followed. He’d changed his appearance somewhat, making sure to hide his horns and tail, but he was still paranoid.
“Obviously!” you chirped back. You didn’t bother looking back at him, currently fixated on your destination - a crowd of bright lights, the smell of food, and the chatter of people. In other words, the night market.
Dan Feng let himself be dragged off by you, trusting that you knew these streets better than he did. He looked urgently back at you.
“When we get caught-”
“If we get caught,” you corrected, stopping momentarily to pull Dan Feng towards you. You let go of his hand to hold his face, pulling him to meet yours. “You trust me, right?”
Dan Feng sighed. “Yes, but-”
You squished his cheeks, effectively shutting him up. “No ‘buts’. What happened to the kid who would sneak off to swim in my farm?”
Dan Feng gave you a look, but with his face all squished up like that, you couldn’t take him seriously. Fighting down a giggle, you squeezed him one last time before letting go.
“Trust me on this,” you insisted, the lights of the market illuminating your back. “You couldn’t have lived for this long and not have been to the night market. You’ll love it, I promise.”
“And if I don’t?” Dan Feng hummed. You snorted, interlacing your fingers with his once again.
“Then I’ll do whatever you want later, alright?”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
Dan Feng squinted as you pulled him into the depths of the market, the bright lights blinding him momentarily. The savory aroma of grilled meat and fried vegetables wafted into his nose, the chatter of friends, families, and lovers filling the air. The two of you were practically consumed by the crowd, the only thing keeping him from being swept away was your hand in his.
It was overwhelming, but not in a bad way. Dan Feng’s eyes widened with wonder as he took in the atmosphere around him. He wasn’t used to so many people being in one place, at the same time. In the lotus fields and in his palace, things were always quiet, still.
He could see children playing silly games with one another, jewelers selling their handcrafted trinkets, and so many street chefs, cooking right on the spot over open flames.
A tug on his hand broke him out of his stupor. You had been watching him all this time, a knowing smile on your face. You tugged him over to a stand that was selling what looked to be skewered balls of meat, dripping with a sweet glaze.
“They’re berrypheasant skewers,” you explained. You noticed Dan Feng’s disgruntled look and nudged him. “Don’t worry, it’s just the fruit that comes off their tails. They didn’t actually kill anything.”
“Oh… I see.” Dan Feng relaxed a bit after hearing that. You gave him a smile before talking to the vendor. Once you had acquired your skewers, you grabbed his hand once more, moving to a secluded corner of the market to enjoy them.
You wasted no time in biting off one of the fruit balls, closing your eyes in delight as you let it slowly melt in your mouth.
“That’s amazing,” you sighed in contentment, leaning back on a wall. You opened your eyes to see Dan Feng silently chewing on his. “How is it?”
“Sweet,” he said, swallowing it. “It’s not bad. Although, I prefer lotus seeds.”
“Really?” you asked, finishing off your skewer. “I like these better. Or maybe that’s because I’ve spent my whole life eating lotus seeds.”
“Perhaps,” Dan Feng agreed. He looked off in the direction of the market. “This place, it’s…”
“Loud?” you jested. Dan Feng chuckled.
“That too,” he admitted, “but the word I had in mind was ‘comfortable’.”
You hummed in agreement. “Well,” you said, pushing yourself off the wall. “We’ve only just scratched the surface. Are you ready?”
Dan Feng nodded. “Let’s go.”
Whatever happened next was a blur. What had started as you dragging Dan Feng around to try different food turned into Dan Feng pulling you to whichever jewelry store caught his attention. Sometimes, you’d lose him in the crowd, and run around panicked only to find him in the middle of getting scammed (to which you’d drag him off, giving death glares to whoever decided to prey on him).
You soon learned that this was a lot more tiring task than you’d originally anticipated. It was like babysitting a toddler - one minute he’d be standing at your side, watching you as you bargained with the vendor, and the next minute, he’d be across the street, trying on some new earrings.
And to make matters worse, every time you wanted to wring Dan Feng’s throat the second you caught up to him, he’d turn to you with that stupidly pretty smile of his, showing off whatever trinkets he managed to pick up this time.
And of course, like the weak soul you were, you couldn’t stay angry at a face like that for long.
But safe to say, you were relieved when you reached the end of the market and instead came to the edges of Central Starskiff Haven, right in front of the Jade Gate. 
Here, the crowds had parted, allowing you to take a breather from your exhausting task. Of course, you were the only one who was tired - Dan Feng was vibrating with excitement, the brightest grin you’ve ever seen on his face.
“I take it you had fun?” you said good-naturedly, coming up beside your friend to watch the flow of starskiffs in and out of the Luofu. Dan Feng nodded, crossing his arms behind him.
“Most definitely,” he said happily. “The outworlder merchants have so many interesting things, I can’t help but be intrigued by them.”
“I could tell,” you chuckled. “I could barely catch up to you with the way you were running around. Imagine what the Preceptors would say.”
“We did agree that they would never find out, no?” Dan Feng pointed out. You shrugged.
“Fair enough,” you acknowledged. You gazed out into the glowing light of the Jade Gate before suddenly jolting in realization. “Lan above, I almost forgot!”
Dan Feng looked at you questioningly as you riffled through your pockets. His confusion only increased as you pulled out a small box, barely the size of your palm.
You opened it to reveal two jade rings, each with the image of a  lotus carved into its band. Dan Feng feels his breath hitch at the sight, and something in his chest tightened.
“What…” he couldn’t even finish his sentence.
“It’s your birthday, isn’t it?” you said. “I figured that now would be a good time to replace the ones I made when we were kids.”
That’s right. You didn’t just choose today of all days randomly. Today was Dan Feng’s birthday, and the day he officially became of age. Today was the last day of his childhood before he would fully take on the title of Imbibitor Lunae and the responsibilities that came with being the High Elder.
You couldn’t help but feel proud as you watched him take the rings with shaking hands. He’s still that stubborn child who listens to no one but himself, but he’s become so much more. He’s grown taller, more mature, more dignified.
And yet, he still looked like he might cry from your gift. He mumbled something under his breath, something you couldn’t catch.
“What was that?” you asked, only to be pulled tightly into his chest. Dan Feng squeezed you into his embrace as he tried to steady his breathing.
Slowly, you wrapped your arms around his waist, melting into his hold. Such moments like these were rare, after all. The furthest Dan Feng had ever gone with you was holding hands. Hugs weren’t part of his vocabulary.
“You know…” he murmured. “In human cultures, rings symbolize marriage.”
“Well,” you laughed into his skin. “We’re not human, are we?”
“Yes, but…”
“Are you trying to propose to me, gege?” You looked up at him, raising your brow playfully. Dan Feng blushed at the nickname, averting his gaze.
“That wasn’t my intention,” he mumbled, flustered. He quickly let go of you, hiding his face behind his hand as he tried to calm his rapidly increasing heartbeat.
You snickered at him. “I know, I’m only teasing. Here, give me those; I’ll put them on for you.”
But despite your words, Dan Feng couldn’t help the burning heat that enveloped him as you took his hand delicately in yours, sliding on the ring. He couldn’t stop his heart from pounding, couldn’t stop his thoughts of newly engaged couples doing exactly what you were doing.
And most of all, he couldn’t stop thinking of how badly he wanted to kiss you in that moment.
Ever since that day, neither you nor Dan Feng have taken off your respective rings. Dan Feng always kept it hidden beneath his gloves, while you showed it off even while you worked. You’ve been asked many times who the other ring belonged to, but you’ve never given them an answer.
One of these questionees was Yingxing, a passionate young outworlder who had come to the Luofu hearing of the feats made by Vidyadhara craftsmen. You’d met through a common friend of Jingliu, one of Dan Feng’s friends in the renowned High Cloud Quintet.
While Yingxing was a blacksmith and you a weaver, the two of you hit it off immediately. The two of you bonded over creating for the members of the Quintet, with you being responsible for the threads that made up their clothes, and Yingxing their armor and weapons. Many times, when one of you had a day off, one could find you in the other’s workshop.
You coughed as smoke arose from the furnace, fanning yourself. Yingxing glanced over momentarily.
“Are you alright?” he asked, a bubbling laugh in his voice. You nodded.
“Yes, just not used to so much smoke,” you sighed. Yingxing wiped at his brow as he took out the pot from the furnace, pouring the molten metal into the mold beneath him.
“If it bothers you too much,” he advised, “you should step outside.”
You shook your head, jumping down from your spot by the window. “I’m fine, don’t worry. But enough about me, what’s this you’re making?”
“It’s a spear for the High Elder.” Yingxing moved aside as you came up next to him. “See the way the metal glows from a certain angle? That’s the remnants of the Reignbow Arbiter’s arrow.”
“Fascinating.” So this was the weapon Dan Feng would wield.
You waved away embers from your face, and for a moment, their light caught on the ring on your finger.
“You’re married?” said Yingxing in surprise. You stared at him inquisitively.
“No? What made you think that?”
“Your ring,” he said, nodding at your finger. You looked down before spurting a laugh.
“Oh, this?” You toyed with it, fidgeting it on your hand. “It’s nothing like that.”
“You don’t sound so sure,” Yingxing commented. You huff.
“I am,” you retorted, nudging him. Yingxing whined at the jab, complaining.
“Don’t you know not to provoke a man with a hammer?” he threatened good-naturedly. You, being the very mature person you are, stuck your tongue out at him.
“Yingxing?”
The sound of your best friend’s voice interrupted your play argument as the both of you perked your heads. Dan Feng bent down as he entered the forgery so as to not hit his horns on the door frame.
“Dan Feng!” Yingxing greeted, waving. “What brings you here?”
“Don’t let me disturb you,” the Vidyadhara said, his nose wrinkling at the smoke filling the forge. “I’m merely here to check on the progress of the spear.”
“It’s still in the process of being smelted, as you can see.” Yingxing pounded away at the spear, shaping it into his desired form.
“Ah, is that so?” Dan Feng nodded. “I’ll come back tomorrow, then. Keep up the good work.”
“You’re going to leave without saying hi?” you interjected, fake hurt lacing your voice. “I’m hurt, Feng’er.”
Dan Feng flinched, as though he hadn’t noticed you at all.
“[Name]?” He straightens, blinking rapidly in surprise. Yingxing swore he’d never seen the High Elder brighten so quickly - he almost didn't believe his eyes when he saw his tail wag with joy. “I apologize, I didn’t see you.”
“It’s alright,” you laugh, walking over to him. “I haven’t seen you in a while. How have you been?”
“You two know each other?” Yingxing asked. Dan Feng narrowed his eyes, fixing the younger man with a glare.
“I should be the one asking you that, Yingxing,” he said lowly, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close. “When did you and them get so close?”
“We’ve been friends for a while,” you answered for Yingxing, lightly hitting Dan Feng’s chest. “Be nice to him.”
Dan Feng pouted, reluctantly letting you go. “But-”
“No ‘buts’,” you scolded, crossing your arms. “If you’re not going to be nice, you can step outside.”
Dan Feng looked akin to a kicked puppy, but he relented. Although, when he saw Yingxing, trying his absolute best not to laugh, Dan Feng felt murderous intent for the first time.
His tail lashed angrily behind him as he watched you converse with the blacksmith, Yingxing sweating from the pure pressure of Dan Feng’s stare. He’d never been so relieved to see you go.
“I have to go now, but I’ll come back later, alright?” you said, waving at Yingxing. You squeezed Dan Feng’s shoulder on your way to the door, leaning in to whisper in his ear. “Don’t give him a hard time, okay?”
Dan Feng only nodded, briefly touching his hand to yours before you finally left, leaving the two men alone.
“So,” Yingxing coughed, looking anywhere but Dan Feng’s eyes. “Feng’er, was it?”
“You will not speak of this,” Dan Feng warned. Yingxing raised his hands in surrender.
“My lips are sealed, High Elder.” Yingxing smiled. “Although, if I were you, I wouldn’t wait.”
Dan Feng narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“How should I say this…” Yingxing pondered. “If you stall for too long, someone will sweep them away.”
Horror shot through Dan Feng like a bullet as he gaped at Yingxing. The thought of you leaving him for someone else, replacing him, hadn’t even crossed his mind.
“I don’t know what you mean,” he gritted out, taking a deep breath to calm down. “They would never replace me.”
Yingxing blinked. “Don’t tell me you haven’t realized.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Dan Feng, you’re-”
“Dan Feng, Yingxing, there you are.”
Jingliu crossed her arms in the doorway, her apprentice, Jing Yuan by her side. 
“Was that [Name] I just saw run out?” she asked, raising a brow. She shook her head. “Nevermind that. I needed to talk to you two anyways. We’re heading out in a week’s time.”
“What for?” Dan Feng questioned, furrowing his brows.
“The Denizens of Abundance have invaded our ally Thalassa,” Jingliu disclosed, her voice tight at the mere mention of the Xianzhou’s sworn enemies. “We’ve been ordered to drive them out.”
“Very well,” said Dan Feng. “We’ll see you then, Jingliu.”
She nodded. “Until then.”
It was the first time Dan Feng had seen death.
War was never pretty for anyone, soldier or civilian. It was dirty, dark, and grimy. In war, you had two objects: one, defeat the enemy. Two, survive.
Dan Feng cursed as he ran his spear through another borison, the ocean of Thalassa responding to his anger. Dragons made from water, the same ones he showed to you all those years ago, drove back the enemy, blasting them away and incapacitating them in the process.
He kept his eyes ahead of him, deliberately avoiding the ground. There, laid corpses of allies and enemies alike.
Death was uncommon on the Xianzhou, especially for a Vidyadhara. There were no soulless eyes on the Luofu, no limp bodies littering the ground. There were no pleas for mercy, no screams of pain and fear.
But here, in the midst of a foreign battlefield, all of those horrors revealed themselves, and bared their teeth.
Dan Feng made the mistake of looking down. His eyes met with that of a deceased borison, its own lifeless eyes glazed over. Instantly, Dan Feng faltered.
The borison looked nothing but a Vidyadhara, but their eyes were the same. It might’ve been a different species, following a different Aeon, but the intelligence and sentience were the same. They were a person, just like anyone else. Just like you.
Only this one wouldn’t rebirth into a new life. No, this one was spoken for, done in by his spear. They would never live again.
The battle blurred around him as he spiraled deeper into his thoughts. He knew that realistically, it would never happen, but he couldn’t stop the thought from resurfacing in his mind.
What if one day, you ended up just like that borison?
Dan Feng shook his head, raising his spear just in time to block an attack from an enemy. No. It would never happen. He’d be there to protect you. The Cloud Knights would protect you. Xianzhou would protect you.
But what if they couldn’t?
“Dan Feng!” Jingliu’s shout snapped him out of his daze. Dan Feng clicked his tongue, irritated at his own absentmindedness. The battlefield was no place for distraction; he of all people should know this.
With a thrust of his hands, his dragons came to Jingliu’s aid, healing her wounds and fending off the borison attacking her.
He was being ridiculous, Dan Feng berated himself. The enemy was vastly overpowered. Their victory would come soon. And when it did, he would be able to come home, home to you.
And he did.
It was nighttime when he returned to the Luofu. You were just finishing up before bed, setting aside the fabrics you’d woven that day. Your former mentor had just checked in on you, making sure that you were doing alright before they went to sleep.
You heaved a heavy sigh to yourself, folding the final sheet before setting it on a shelf. Dan Feng and the others had been at war for months now.
“I wonder how they’re doing,” you muttered to yourself, closing your eyes. You knew they would be fine. Jingliu, Dan Feng, and every other member of the High Cloud Quintet were blessed with powers that you couldn’t even begin to imagine. The invading Denizens would be no match for them.
But still… You couldn’t help but worry.
What didn’t help was how obvious Dan Feng’s absence was. You often looked over your shoulder as you wove, as though expecting the young man to be standing there, watching. The night market didn’t feel the same without him being dragged around to every stall.
The lotus fields, with all their flowers and pads, seemed empty.
It was as though a hole had been ripped out of your heart, leaving only a dull ache.
The sound of your door opening startled you. You swiveled around, utterly confused. Just who would be here at this hour? Very few people had access to the key to your home. 
Perhaps one of the other weavers? Or perhaps your mentor again, worried that you weren’t getting enough sleep?
The answer was neither. A strangled whisper of your name, in such a familiar voice, cut through the night air like a knife. Tears welled in your eyes as you took in the sight of your best friend, finally home after so long.
“Feng’er?” you whispered. He nodded wordlessly, taking a few hesitant steps into your home.
You met him halfway, reaching up to hold his face delicately. Dan Feng closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a little sigh. His arm came to the small of your back, pulling you in as he buried his face into the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent.
“You’re late,” you murmured, brushing your hand through his hair. Dan Feng tightened his arms around you.
“I’m sorry.”
“You should be,” you laughed, sniffling. “Do you know how worried you made me?”
Dan Feng pulled away from your neck, gazing into your eyes. His tail swayed, eventually circling around your waist. He gingerly held your chin between his thumb and index finger as though you’d break if he was any rougher with you.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, brows crinkling. Quickly, he wiped away your tears. Of all else, Dan Feng hated seeing you cry, and hated it even more if it was because of him. “I’m here now.”
You nodded tearfully. “And you’re not leaving, right?”
“Not for a while,” he promised. “Even the Abundance will need time to recover from the damage we did to them.”
“Good.” You held his face in your hands. “Because right now, you’re mine.”
“Is that so?” Dan Feng said softly. His eyes lingered on your lips, his lips slightly parted. “I’m yours, is that right?”
“Mhm.” You smiled as you felt him press your bodies impossibly closer together, one arm around your waist and the other behind your head. Your lips brushed against each other, your voice a whisper as you two danced on the edge. “Mine.”
A push from Dan Feng’s hand, and he sealed his lips with yours.
Immediately, you closed your eyes, savoring the taste of his kiss. His lips were soft, yet cool, like the touch of a river on a summer afternoon. He kissed you with a hidden desperation, years of pining and longing unleashing themselves in this torrent of affection. You almost couldn’t keep up with him, letting out a whimper as he tilted your face gently, deepening the kiss.
Even when you parted for air, it wasn’t long before Dan Feng greedily pulled you back in, addicted to the feeling of your lips on his. His hands wouldn’t stop wandering in a languid motion, slowly roaming all over you, from your waist to your back to your neck, and back to your waist again, squeezing every bit he could find.
By the time Dan Feng’s relentless assault ended, the two of you were breathless. Words failed to form on your tongue as you simply stared into Dan Feng’s eyes, trying to catch your breath.
Dan Feng pressed his forehead against yours, his horns bumping against you.
"You don't know how long I waited for that,” he whispered huskily. You let out a breathless chuckle, wrapping your arms around his neck and nuzzling his nose with yours.
“I think I did.”
The corners of Dan Feng’s eyes crinkled. You’ve never seen them so up close before. The colors reminded you of a stone in a river, with cool grey giving way to gorgeous teal.
And the way he looked at you made your heart melt - it’s so tender, so soft, so filled with love that you can practically feel how much he cares about you.
And you can only hope that he saw the same in your eyes.
“I love you,” he confessed, like it was a secret. But even still, him being able to say those three words made it worth more than anything in the world. “I’ve always loved you, ever since we were children.”
Joy bubbled up in your chest, and you couldn’t stop yourself from giggling. Your hand came to his scalp, bunching up his hair in your fingers.
“I love you too, you dork.” You pecked him on his nose, and then his forehead, laughing as he wrinkled his nose in response.
Reluctantly, you released him from your grasp, instead tugging his hand into your abode.
“It’s late already,” you explained. “The Preceptors won’t mind if you come home late, right?”
“They no longer control me,” Dan Feng affirmed. You grinned.
“That’s good.” You lead him into your bedroom, glancing over to make sure he was fine with it. “I don’t have a guest room, so are you alright with sharing a bed?”
Dan Feng flustered, but he nodded. “Th- That’s fine with me.”
You would learn that Dan Feng was incredibly clingy in bed. He practically enveloped you in his arms, tangling your legs together as he hugged your shoulders. His tail was conflicted - either thumping happily against the bed or wrapping around you like a possessive snake.
But it was worth all of it. You felt safe in Dan Feng’s embrace, loved. In his arms, you slept the most soundly you’ve ever slept. It was as though you had found your other half.
You truly felt blessed when you woke up to Dan Feng’s sleeping face, so serene and tranquil. And fortunately for the both of you, that wouldn’t be the last time you woke up next to the other.
But those happy days were not made to last.
There would be many more feats Dan Feng would accomplish as the High Elder. He would become one of the most prolific Vidyadhara ever, forever documenting his name in history books.
You two would eventually marry, sealing your love not just with those rings. It was a marriage in the palaces of Scalegorge Waterscape, only the best for the High Elder. All of your friends attended, Yingxing and Baiheng especially praising Dan Feng (and lamenting about how he of all people got married before they did). 
Jing Yuan had grown into a fine young man, his intellect and skill with the Lightning Lord being parallel to none. Yingxing was beginning to age, being a short-lived species. Jingliu had retired, aiming to end her days peacefully.
But as said before, that wasn’t what fate had planned for the quintet.
Jingliu would be driven mad with mara, her only solace being the blade of her former mentor. Baiheng would be missing in action. Yingxing would be killed long before his time, leaving Dan Feng in despair over losing three beloved friends so soon. 
Perhaps that is what drove him to do what he did.
“How could you?”
Dan Feng winced at the crack in your voice as you screamed at him. You were crying, angry tears streaming down your face.
“My love, please-”
“Do not call me that!” you snapped, making him flinch. “You don’t get to call me ‘my love’ after that. What were you thinking?!”
“It was the only way!” Dan Feng insisted.
“It was cruel,” you hissed. “You know that more than anyone here.”
“They stole them from me,” Dan Feng growled, his eyes flashing. “It wasn’t their time.”
“I know,” you whispered, your voice hoarse from crying and screaming. “I know it wasn’t. But you know what immortality will do to them, Feng’er. You know what the curse of Abundance does.”
Dan Feng averted his eyes guiltily. You wipe at your eyes hurriedly, taking big, gulping breaths to calm down.
“What did the Preceptors say?” you finally asked. Dan Feng’s gaze lowered, a shadow cast over his face. A pit dropped in your stomach.
“They’re waiting outside,” he revealed. “I’m to be taken to the Shackling Prison, and forced into rebirth. They only let me be here to say goodbye.”
It was as though an anvil had been dropped on you, crushing you.
“No.”
It was the only thing you could muster out. You shook your head in disbelief.
“No. No, no, no!” you croaked out. “They can’t do that. Not to you.”
Ironic, how only a few minutes prior you were berating Dan Feng as though your life depended on it. Now, you were pleading for him to be forgiven, for a lighter sentence to be dealt out. Because for a Vidyadhara, a forced rebirth was practically the same as a death sentence.
“Isn’t there another way?”
Dan Feng shook his head, taking your arms in his hands.
“I’m afraid not. This is the only way the public will forgive my sins.”
He took a deep breath.
“Please, my love,” he begged quietly. “Look at me.”
You did.
“You have to be strong,” said Dan Feng, cradling your face one last time. “Promise me that you’ll be alright, even after I am reborn.”
You shook your head. “Feng’er, please.”
“Promise me,” he urged.
“I…” You faltered. “I promise.”
Dan Feng smiled sadly - the last smile you’d ever see from your husband.
“Thank you.” He pressed a sweet kiss to your lips, a kiss to last you the lifetimes he wouldn’t be at your side. “I love you, [Name]. And I’m sorry for being such a selfish husband.”
You closed your eyes, savoring him for the last time. Silently, you told him your forgiveness.
“I love you too, Dan Feng.”
That was the day the love of your life died.
Centuries have passed since then.
You’re still weaving, now taking care of your rebirthed mentors as they had cared for you. There are children under your wing now, hoping to learn your craft and one day start a business of their own.
You still keep in touch with Jing Yuan, the general visiting your farm every so often. Each time, you offer him a taste of the lotus seeds Dan Feng loved, but each time, he refuses.
Yingxing has become the Stellaron Hunter Blade, cursed with immortality and the mara that comes with it. If he remembered you, he never showed it.
The Ambrosial Arbor, reawakened by the Denizens of Abundance, runs rampant, threatening the existence of the Luofu itself. You hear from friends that Jing Yuan had enlisted a group of outworlders - the Astral Express - to help him with the crisis.
And now, those very outworlders were standing outside your door.
“Par-” Jing Yuan coughed, cutting himself off. “Pardon the intrusion, [Name].”
He was currently being held by a young Vidyadhara, one that… Your breath hitched.
One that looked almost identical to Dan Feng.
Your lover’s lookalike noticed your gaze at him. The second you met eyes, he seemed to know exactly what was going through your mind.
“...I’m not him.” He repeated this sentence for the nth time today.
You smiled sadly.
“I know.”
You turned to Jing Yuan, taking in the general’s sorry state. The outworlders, a young girl with pink hair, an older brunette man, and a grey-haired teenager all seemed to be in similar shape, although definitely better than the general.
You stepped aside. “Why don’t you all come in? It’s been a while since I’ve had company.”
“Thank you.” The brunette, who you would later come to know as Welt, thanked.
As you turned away, Dan Feng’s reincarnation noticed a jade ring on your finger, recognizing it as the one he had woken up in.
“That’s…”
You hummed, raising your hand. You’ve never taken it off, not even when Dan Feng was reborn.
“You recognize it,” you mused. “I suppose that means he still has it?”
The reincarnation hesitated, but nodded. You smiled.
“That’s good. Say, what’s your name, little one?”
“Dan Heng,” he answered.
 “It’s a good name.” You stepped away for a moment to the kitchen. “I apologize; the tea may take a while. I wasn’t expecting guests.”
“It’s no matter,” Jing Yuan assured.
And as you served tea to the Astral Express, you couldn’t help but notice: five people, seated around a table, enjoying tea. Just like a scene hundreds of years ago.
You chuckle to yourself, a carved lotus glimmering in the light on your ring.
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reblogs w comments are appreciated !!
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torchwood-99 · 2 months
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Eowyn and Gothic Horror
I've ranted about the interpretation that Eowyn's rejection of gender roles was a symptom of her sickness, caused only by Grima's manipulations. An interpretation that doesn't hold to either Gandalf's speech in the Houses of Healing, when he specifies how the liberties denied to Eowyn and allowed to Eomer and her male peers played a crucial role in her depression, or when we see how Eowyn was really vindicated in her decision to ride to battle by her victory over the Witch King. A victory that wins her incredible renown and respect.
I think this reading comes about because people see the significance of Grima's contribution to Eowyn's despair, and think he is the sole source of it.
But Eowyn was not dissatisfied with her role and her enforced position in the house because of Grima's manipulations. She didn't rail against sexism because Grima played with her head and "poisoned" her traditionally feminine role for her.
Grima was able to prey on Eowyn, manipulate her and drive her to despair, because of the sexism that forced Eowyn to remain stuck in the house.
Look at the speech Gandalf gives Eomer about Eowyn's sufferings. The very first thing he mentions is the fact that Eowyn was denied the freedoms and opportunities Eomer had. The suffering that follows stems from that first initial injustice.
Because of that first injustice, Eowyn was rendered vulnerable, and Grima was able to exploit that. That isolation, that limited freedom, that unhappiness about her lack of choices, left her free game for Grima to take an already bad situation, and make it far worse.
Thinking about Eowyn's experience in Meduseld, what the impact of being confined to the domestic sphere did to her, and what is left her vulnerable to, makes me think of Gothic horror, and the role of sexism and domesticity in that genre too.
Eowyn's situation before the novels is that of a classic Gothic heroine. A fair, beautiful woman, trapped inside a decaying house, and preyed on by an awful monster, who hungers after her beauty and longs to possess her. Or else, destroy her.
Domestic settings and isolation are pretty crucial themes in the gothic genre, and for that reason it has historically been seen as a woman's genre. It taps into a pretty universal fear of what happens when home ceases to be a safe space, a fear that historically, has a particularly great resonance for women.
Whereas traditionally home is a refuge and respite for men from the world, the home is the woman's only true acceptable sphere. And yet even there she is subordinate. Therefore, she is vulnerable. With no place in the outside world, she has no escape, no respite, no refuge. If home becomes an evil, she is trapped. And because she has no place in the social sphere, she has no voice either. She is invisible, she is overlooked, her sufferings and her contributions are passed over,
Eowyn is isolated. Eowyn is vulnerable. Eowyn is overlooked. And because Eowyn is isolated and vulnerable and overlooked, Grima is able to get his hooks into her and drive her to despair. She is a wild animal, trammelled and caught in a hutch, a predator's helpless prey. But Grima didn't put Eowyn in the hutch. Eowyn was already there. Grima just took advantage of that.
Even after Grima is gone, Meduseld is still a place Eowyn longs to escape, and while its evil is purged and she does return, it is only for a short while. Grima's defeat is not enough to make Meduseld a place where Eowyn can find real happiness or fulfilment. On its own, it still represents a role for Eowyn that she wishes to move beyond.
The healing counterpoint to Eowyn's gothic castle of horrors, the hutch she was caught in, is in escape, and in a return to nature.
Eowyn's entire romance with Faramir takes place within the gardens of the Houses of Healing, where we see Eowyn start to recover from her ordeal. It takes place on the open, in the garden, on the ramparts, with much notice given to the sky and the sun and the elements around them.
(Also, the Houses of Healing themselves are not a domestic setting, but a public one, and there we see women working alongside men and holding authority.)
Eowyn's happy ending, her great escape, climaxes with her decision to go with Faramir to Ithilien.
Ithilien is the exact opposite of a hutch. It's descriptions are filled with natural imagery, and is known as the Garden of Gondor. It is a place for growth and fresh starts. A place of freedom. A place for a wild thing.
When Faramir suggests that he and Eowyn live in Ithilien, he reasserts again and again that they will go there if it is Eowyn's will. Both Tolkien and Faramir put emphasis on the importance of Eowyn's will, and Eowyn's right to freedom of movement.
In his plans for their future, Faramir talks of "us" and "we", removing the separation between men (belonging to the social sphere) and women (belonging to the domestic), and speaks of Ithilien as a shared dwelling place for both of them. Faramir only distinguishes between himself and Eowyn when he puts importance on Eowyn's will, and at the end, on Eowyn's influence.
At the close of his speech, Faramir says all things will grow with joy in Ithilien, if Eowyn is there. Returning Ithilien to its former glory, allowing it to bloom once more, is to become Faramir's life's work, and still it is Eowyn's influence he puts centre stage. Far from being kept confined to the domestic sphere, relegated to being Faramir's home support while he dominates the rehabilitation of Ithilien, Faramir places Eowyn's work and Eowyn's significance at the heart of their future together.
Eowyn goes from being shut in the house, where everything around her was decaying and falling to ruin, to being freed to stand in the heart of nature, where there is a chance for influence, growth, and fresh starts.
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dottores · 1 year
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HELIOTROPES
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pairing: dottore x fem!reader & segments
summary: the gods were sick and twisted. for five hundred years, he believed he was fated to be alone. he had long accepted it—embraced it, even. that is, until a midwinter night when that elusive red thread finally appeared on his finger. but as much as he wants to ignore it, the pull of a soulmate simply cannot be ignored.
genre: soulmate au, canon compliant for the most part, forbidden love, slow burn.
warnings: fem!reader, age gap, lots of worldbuilding for snezhnaya & the fatui & fontaine, dottore is his own warning, angst and romance, none others that i can think of off the top of my head. each chapter will have its own warnings, it is self-ship coded, and i will take liberty with dottore’s known lore.
status: incomplete. updates sporadic, at least monthly.
taglist: 50/50 (CLOSED. if you would like to be on it, still comment here—i’m going to periodically go through and remove people who don’t interact, and then i’ll add you)
notes: sigh i wanted to give my beluved a little series. this is something i’ll be working on in my free time for fun, so updates will be sporadic, i was gonna post the reincarnation fic butttt that one is a little too dear to my heart ALL SEGMENTS THAT SHOW UP IN THIS SERIES ARE MINE ‼️ i created them, do not take them to use for yourself.
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00. THE SEGMENTS
01. MIDWINTER
02. JOY
03. THE COLOR PURPLE
04. THE FAMILY JEWELS
05. AN INEXORABLE DEATH
06. RISE OF A KING, FALL OF A QUEEN
07. A WARM WELCOME
08. THE DOCTOR
09. THE TIES THAT BIND
10. GENESIS
11. DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE
12. SPIT IN MY FACE
13. ALEA IACTA EST
… TBA
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SIDE STORIES
THREE TIMES THE SEGMENTS MET YOU WITHOUT REALIZING IT,  AND ONE TIME THEY DID.
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rbs appreciated!
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pucked-bunnie · 2 months
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not so bad ⎜j.drysdale
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pairings: jamie drysdale x plus sized! reader genre: fluff warnings: mentions of injury ⎜ slight mention of body discrimination synopsis: after jamie was traded you finally made it to one of your best friends games - you didn't expect things to go so horribly. word count: 5k authors note: there are obviously a few discrepancies from the actual game when jamie got injured but this is what must happen for cute stories. (UNEDITED)
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“And please for the love of god, Trevor, don’t forget to lock the door when you leave.” You grumble as you slide out of the passenger side, scurrying around to the trunk to retrieve your suitcase - Trevor already pulling the hard cased bag from the car, placing it on the side walk for you. 
“Yeah, yeah, I think I can manage to look after your cat for a week.” He huffs, waving your off as you raise your brow at him. You had spent the last thirty minutes in the car making sure he knew how to care for your six month old kitten - despite the cat already being quite self sufficient and having an automatic feeder you wanted to make sure someone was checking on him at least once a day, hence your stressed instructions to Trevor on the drive to the airport. 
“Okay, I’m trusting you.” You say, pulling your keys out of your pocket and handing them over to the eager hockey player. 
“Me and bean are going to have so much fun.” He coos, shoving the keys into his pocket before reaching over and giving you a tight squeeze. “Make sure to tell him I’ll be watching his game.” He adds and you nod, squeezing him back before stepping onto the pathway pulling your suitcase with you as you watch Trevor pull away from the curb. 
You tug your phone from your pocket checking your flight information one last time before heading inside to check in. After Jamie had been traded almost a month ago you had been with little to no contact while he settled in to his new environment, both you and Trevor feeling the effects of your quiet best-friends absence. 
It was when you finally managed to catch Jamie between his schedules he invited you to Philadelphia to visit him, requesting your help in setting up his new apartment in the city - he luckily had managed to snag a fully furnished apartment - in his words it just needed a ‘piece of home’, so the two of you had quickly managed to book in a week for you to fly to Philadelphia. 
With Trevors reckless driving you had managed to make it to your flight with an hour to spare, taking your time at the cafe near your boarding gate to scroll mindlessly on your phone until you heard the first calls for your flight to board. With an estimated flight time of five and a half hours you were very glad for the kindle Jamie had gifted you at the last Christmas dinner. 
“I know we said we weren’t doing presents this year but I wanted to get you something I thought you’d find useful.” Jamie had whispered as he leaned over to your side as the conversation continued in the room. He placed the small wrapped gift in your lap with a nervous smile his eyebrows raised in anticipation as he waits for you to unwrap the gift. 
“I wrapped it myself.” He adds quickly, pointing out the red wrapping paper covered in Mario characters holding presents. You send him a quick smile before ripping the paper open gently - tucking the remnants into your bag to add to your keepsake box in the back of your closet - you pull out the amazon branded box looking down at the kindle now in your lap with a growing smile. 
“I know how much you love to read and my mum recommended this one.” Jamies explains before pointing to the torn box, “I already took the liberty to download some that my mum said you’d like and I put a gift card in the box so you can buy some more when you feel like it.” 
You can feel your heart beating against your chest as you look up at the sweet boy besides you, his hands fiddling in his lap as he waits for you to say something. “It’s perfect, Jamie.” You mumble, smiling at him with a short nod as you close the distance between you placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.” You add shifting back in your seat as Jamie does the same a bright red tinge on his cheeks. 
That was almost a year ago and you had filled the kindle with over a hundred books since then, somehow managing to convince Jamie to get one for himself after he had listen to your high praise for the device. 
Sliding into your seat on the plane and placing your kindle on your lap you sent a quick message to your trios group chat. 
‘Princess Peach 🍑 : on the plane about to take off - should be there around six tonight.’ 
‘Mario 🥸: I’ll be waiting’
‘Wario 👨🏻‍🦲: me and beans are excited for you to be gone.’ Trevor sends with a photo of your kitten glaring up at the man, quickly followed by another message. 
‘Wario 👨🏻‍🦲: hey who changed my name.’ 
‘Wario 👨🏻‍🦲: I’m supposed to be Luigi.’
‘ Mario 🥸 : lol.’  You chuckle at the messages before switching your phone to airplane mode and tucking it into your pocket, sliding your headphones over your ears as the flight attendants finish their spiel on safety and move to their own seats. 
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Six hours in a small seat trying to avoid making any contact with the person sitting besides you really has a way of stiffening every muscle in your body. You roll your shoulders as you wait for the others in your row to gather their belongings, deciding it best to wait for most of the flight to empty out before attempting to make your own way. 
As soon as you had turned off airplane mode on your phone, it had started dinging with messages. 
‘Wario 👨🏻‍🦲: I’m changing my name back.’
‘Wario 👨🏻‍🦲 has set the nickname to Luigi 👴🏻’
‘Luigi 👴🏻: that’s so much better.’ 
‘Mario 🥸 has set the nickname to donkey kong 🦍’ 
‘ donkey kong 🦍 : knock it off.’ 
‘ donkey kong 🦍 : @princess peach🍑 please tell him to stop bullying me’
‘Mario 🥸: she would never’ 
‘Princess Peach 🍑: I would never’  you respond quickly before deeming it time to grab your bag from the overhead storage and follow your fellow passengers off the plain, making sure to bid a quick ‘thank you’ to the flight attendants standing by the exit. Your phone dings again in your hand as you making it into the boarding area. 
‘bestfriend ❤️: I’m waiting outside your flights baggage collection - do you still have the white suitcase?’ Jamies message albeit simple gives you butterflies, the idea that after so long apart you were finally going to see him made you giddy. 
‘trevor’s bestie ❤️: yep, the one with the blue tag on the side.’  You send your reply frowning at the sudden change in nick name, Trevor must��ve have figured out your passcode again. You roll your eyes but tuck your phone back into side pocket of your leggings, pulling on the hoodie from your carry on, knowing Philadelphia this time of year was a lot colder than Anaheim. 
Jamie is easy to spot in front of the baggage carousel, his eyes focused on the passing bags as he waits for yours to slide past him. You watch him with a soft smile as he steps forwards to help a lady pull her oversized suitcase off the line before helping another lady besides her, nodding quickly as they thank him, stepping forwards once more to pull your bag off the line, placing it delicately at his side as he glances around the waiting area, pulling his phone quickly from his pocket his thumbs typing. 
‘bestfriend ❤️: I have taken your bag hostage - if you wish for it to be returned you must be in front of me in the next 60 seconds.’  Your phone dings with the arrival of the message, your feet moving quickly as you sneak up behind him, tapping his shoulder lightly once your reach him. 
“Miss me?” You question cheerfully, Jamie’s eyes widening as he turns around. 
“I didn’t think you’d actually get here this fast.” He says, placing a hand on his chest as he lets out a shaky breath, “Scared the crap out of me.” 
“Sorry.” You apologise waiting for him to move before deciding it’s best if you initiate contact. Throwing your arms over his shoulders, you pull him in for a tight hug, his arms immediately wrapping around your waist as he hoists you up, his arms pulling you in even closer as your feet dangle off the floor.
“I personally didn’t miss you at all.” You chuckle into his neck as he sways a little his own face buried into your shoulder, you can feel the grin on his lips as he gently places you down on the ground, not quite letting go of you yet. 
“I missed you so much.” He mumbled, nuzzling into your shoulder a little more before finally pulling away, his hand grabbing for your suitcase as his other hand reaches out for yours. 
“Trevor wanted me to tell you he’d be watching the game tomorrow.” You say as you take hold of Jamie’s hand, letting him lead the way out of the airport. 
“He better be.” Jamie says, “he has nothing better to do these days.” 
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The drive to Jamie’s new place from the airport takes longer than normal, as he stops around to pick up a few bits a pieces to help make your stay with him more comfortable - snacks being his highest priority. 
“I know it’s not the fanciest but its cozy and it has two bedrooms so it was perfect for friends to come visit.” Jamie warns as he parks his car in the garage under his building. You’re quick to roll your eyes at his statement, if the outside of the building was anything to go by the apartment was going to be more than ‘cozy’. 
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” You respond, undoing your seatbelt and slipping out of the car, dragging your backpack with you trying to make your way to grab your suitcase before Jamie could beat your to it. 
You’ll give him one thing, for how built he was, he could move faster then most people. Jamie grins as he pulls your suitcase from the trunk of his car, holding it in one hand the other grabbing for the grocery bags. “Too slow.” He teases as he shuts the trunk, guiding you to the elevator. 
You just watch as he gets in the moving metal box scanning his access key and pressing the tenth floor your reasonably heavy suitcase comfortable in his hand. “You know the suitcase has wheels, right?” You question. 
“Yep.” Jamie says quickly, nodding his head as he adds, “But how would I show off how strong I am, if I just wheeled it around.” His statement pulls a shocked laugh from you as the elevator stops announcing it’s arrival on the tenth floor. Jamie once again moves quickly walking to his door and pressing a few numbers into the keypad. 
“Not fancy, my ass.” You grumble as he pushes his door open, moving inside placing your suitcase by the door, and the groceries on the dining room table. 
“Welcome.” He exclaims arms out wide as he lets you take in his space. It was definitely fully furnished, the house looking like it came from a home decor magazine, but it didn’t have the comfort a home should have. Jamie had already started adding a few decorations of his own, his and Trevors ducks jerseys hanging side by side in large frames besides the living room T.V, a few photo frames with his friends and family lining the shelves besides the window. 
“This place is great, Jamie.” You exclaim, as you reach for your suitcase, lying it on the floor as you dig around for your present. “But you were right when you said it was missing something.” You continue finally grabbing hold of the rolled up fabric in your bag. 
You smile as you hand it to him watching the fabric unroll, the man looking down at the blanket in confusion. “Your mum sent me some of your old jerseys that weren’t going to any use, and Trevor asked the equipment manager if I could have some ducks ones as a parting gift.” You begun to explain, motioning to the logos from the jerseys of every team he had played on. “Most of it is made up of jerseys from your time with the ducks, and I had to buy a Philadelphia one to finish it off.” You finish motions to the orange square at the bottom of the blanket. 
“You made me a blanket?” Jamie asks quietly. 
You nod. 
“Out of all my old jerseys?” He asks again. 
You nod.
“Do you like it?” You asks slowly, watching his face for any sign of distain. Jamie glances towards you for a moment before taking off down the hallway, his feet sliding against the wooden floorboards as he enters the room at the end of the hall. 
“It’s perfect.” He yells, your feet moving to follow him. You glance around the corner into the bedroom, Jamie smoothing the blanket over his bed with one of the biggest smiles you had ever seen. “It’s perfect.” He says again. 
“Well, I’m glad you like it.” You respond, your hands clasped behind your back, “Now show me my room.” 
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“Are you sure your okay to make your own way there?” Jamie asks as he straightens out his dark grey suit, his hair freshly washed and pushed away from his forehead. Your night with Jamie had consisted of Chinese takeaway and a lot of gossip about Trevors new girlfriend - the two of you eventually falling asleep on the couch while watching ‘love is blind’ on Netflix. 
You had woken up in the guest room, unsure how Jamie had managed to move you with such ease. 
“I’ll be fine, it’s like a ten minute Uber.” You reassure, reaching out the smooth out the collar on his shirt. Jamie was heading to the rink early as most players did on game day, wanting the chance to start warming up and checking their equipment. 
“Oh before I forget.” Jamie says quickly, reaching into his practice bag pulling out a large ID hanging on a lanyard. “I grabbed you one of these so you have access to the family room if it’s too overwhelming down near the ice, it also gets you free food at the concession stands.” He says quickly handing you the lanyard. 
‘Jamie Drysdale - Friends and Family - All Access’ Printed in large letters on the front, the lanyard covered in big block letters spelling out ‘VIP’ 
“You didn’t have to Jamie, you already got me those rink side tickets.” You complain looking down at the pass again. 
“Well I didn’t have to pay for this - and it’s just in case of emergencies, I don’t want you to get stuck with security if you need something.” He explains and you nod slowly, tucking the pass close to your chest as you glance up at him. “I’ll see you after the game, okay? Meet me near the locker room.” He says softly, reaching forwards to tuck a lose piece of hair behind your ear. 
The silence is thick between the two of you - Jamie hand resting on the side of your neck as he opens his mouth to say something, closing it quickly after. He doesn’t say anything as he shoots you another grin, picking up his phone and keys by the door, quietly exiting his apartment. 
You let out a long sigh, the feeling of his hand still tingling on your skin. 
Now was probably a good time to get ready. 
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You checked your outfit one more time in the mirror - the flared leggings doing wonders to make your legs look longer and slimmer, you favourite hoodie layered under one of Jamie’s new Philadelphia jerseys - usually you wouldn’t wear a jersey to a game often feeling they made you look awkward and desperate when hanging around with your two friends, but for the first game you were watching of Jamie’s in his new team you felt it was necessary to show your support. 
Slinging your bag over your shoulder, your grab the spare set of keys Jamie had left for you, tapping on your phone to order the Uber to take you to the rink. The car arrived quickly, game days often being a easy money making day for Uber drivers, the man greeting you and confirming your destination as you slide into the backseat of his car. 
“You a Philly fan?” The drivers asks as he glances at you in the rearview mirror. 
“Not really - I’m actually from Anaheim but my friend recently moved here and I just wanted to support him.” You explain the driving nodding before asking. 
“Your boyfriend, is he a player?” 
“Oh no, we’re just friends.” You correct the driver raising an eyebrow as he turns his gaze back to the road. 
“Not many friends would fly across the country to watch a hockey game.” The driver continues, a smile breaking out on his face as you stare like a deer caught in headlights. “Must be some friendship you two have.” He adds driving the needle further into your chest as you think about your friendship. 
The crowds begin to grow as you close in on the rink, the driver giving you a kind smile as he stops outside the front entrance. “I hope you have fun at the game.” The driver says as you swing open the back door, “Tell your friend how lucky he is to have you.” He adds as you shut the door, you can see him smiling as the car pulls away from the curb, shaking your head at the friendly mans antics. 
As you make your way into the building scanning your ticket at the front door - grabbing a quick bottle of water from a concession stand before making your way to your seat just in time to see both teams fly onto the ice for warm ups. Taking your seat you smile at the two girls sitting a few seats down, pulling your phone out of you pockets to snap photos of number 9. 
‘Jamie’s not-so-bestie 😈: snapped a few photos of our special little guy.’ You send the message to Trevor rolling your eyes at yet another name change in your phone. 
A hard bang on the glass has you looking up from your phone, Jamie staring down at you with furrowed brows. “Trevor.” You mouth his head nodding, as he flicks his puck into his hand, showing it to you before throwing it over the glass, the puck easily caught in your hands. Jamie watches you as he take a few steps away from your seat, handing it over to the girls sitting a little further away. 
“He wanted me to pass this to you.” You say as you hand it to one of the girls, both letting out high pitched squeals as they glance towards your best friend. 
“Where’s your pass?” He mouths through the glass, motioning his hands around his neck, your hand tapping your bag, pulling out one corner to show him where your stored it. He nods quickly, waving a quick goodbye as he skates away, doing a few laps around the ice before stopping to stretch closer to the bench. 
“I always knew Jamie would be into bigger girls.” One of the teenagers exclaims, both looking you up and down before leaning together and whispering. “She is really pretty though.” The others replies. 
You glance down at yourself with a sigh, settling back into your seat, your arms wrapped around yourself.  The game starts soon after the flyers and penguins taking to the ice in a close game. You watch on the edge of your seat as Jamie moves quickly around the ice - occasionally taking a second to respond to one of Trevors messages. The first period ends with the penguins ahead by one - Jamie exiting the ice with slumped shoulders. 
You knew how tough on himself Jamie could be when the game wasn’t going his way - and being on a new time, you could guess the pressure he was putting on himself was multiplied. Waiting for the second period you glance down at your phone, liking a photo on your instagram before a tap on your shoulder catches your attention. 
“So, do you know him or something?” One of the girls ask as she takes a seat next to you, her friend moving to sit besides her as they both wait for your answer. 
“Or something.” You respond, looking back to your phone as it dings. 
‘bestfriend ❤️: does the game look as bad as it feels?’ You move to respond before one of the girls asks another question. 
“So are you two dating?” She says and you shrug waiting as she adds, “you just don’t seem like the type to be with a hockey player.” Her friend slaps her shoulder as they both giggle, “You can’t say that.” He friend laughs as you just roll your eyes typing quickly on your phone. 
‘trevor’s bestie ❤️: the game is tight. You’re playing great.’ You send the message to Jamie. The two girls remain besides you as the second period starts, the flyers managing a goal to tie the game, the play moving fast as the penguins manage to score a third goal with less than nine minutes left in the period. 
You try to stay positive, hockey being a game where score reversals can happen so fast, the play restarting at centre ice the puck making its way back and forth on the ice before being hit high into the air. Jamie skates his way to the red line, swatting the puck back down to the ice before taking off with it. 
He gets past one penguin making his way into the offensive zone before he gets rammed into - his body hits the ice hard, you can see his mouth open in a pain filled hiss as he rolls to his side, his right hand gripping his left shoulder. 
“Shit.” You curse, jumping up from your seat as you watch him move. Jamie makes his way onto his feet, his left arm hanging limply by his side, the boy skating quickly off the ice into the locker room. You ignore the fans cheering as the two teams go head to head in a scrum, your mind racing as you take two stairs at a time. 
‘Jamie’s real bestie 😈 is calling.’ 
“Is he okay? What the fuck was that.” Trevor yells into the phone, as you speed walk through the building. 
“I don’t know - he didn’t look okay.” You respond stopping one of the workers who’s in a Philadelphia branded shirt. “Excuse me, do you know where the locker room is?” You question, the man looking at you with confusion as you fish around in your bag, your phone still pressed to your ear as you grab hold of the VIP pass. 
“It’s his shoulder, Trev. It looked dislocated.” You say into your phone as the man walks quickly with you behind him, stopping outside a roped off area, whispering quietly to one of the security guards who slowly walks away. “I’m going to see if I can check on him.” Trevor swears a few times before making you promise to text him once you know if Jamie is okay, the two of you ending the phone call quickly as the security guard comes back. 
“We don’t let most people in the locker room.” The security guard says quickly and you nod. “Can I see your pass please.” He adds quickly, handing over the lanyard and pass as he glances over it. His eyes widen a little as he sees the players name on your pass before handing it back to you. 
“What’s your relation to the player?” The security guard asks and you hesitate. 
“His girlfriend.” You splutter out the guard nodding before holding up one of the ropes for you to slip under - he motions for you to follow behind him as he walks to the entrance of the room, holding out a hand for you to stop. 
“We have someone claiming to be Jamie’s girlfriend outside, she wants to come in.” You heard the guard say into the room, a few people mumble back words of confusion and disagreement with letting you inside. 
“Let her in.” Jamie voice cuts through, before he lets out a painful whimper, “Please.” He adds quickly. You don’t wait for permission, rounding the corner to walk into the locker room, a small gasp escaping you as you take in Jamie. His eyes are squeezed shut as the trainers work carefully to remove his pads, his shoulder clearly out of it’s socket. 
Jamie lets out another yelp as they lift his arm to unclip the chest pads, both trainers apologising as they gently place it back by his side. You take a few steps forwards, Jamie’s eyes opening at the sound of your approaching, his bright blue eyes finding yours as he reaches out his right hand. 
“Oh Jamie.” You sigh as you take his hand in yours, your other reaching out to move his hair out of his face. He lets out a long sigh as he turns his head to face your, burying it in your stomach as he lets out a long groan as the trainers rotate his arm slowly, your face scrunching in a grimace as you watch the joint slide back into place, your hand stroking gently across his hair. 
Jamie lets out a sigh of relief as the trainers drop his arm into his lap, the joint now comfortable back in the socket. “Are you okay?” You ask, Jamie just nodding his head against you, his body melting into your side as your hand moves from his hair to rub soft circles on his back. 
“Lucky for you Jamie, I think we’ve saved you a trip to the ER.” The trainer says pulling out a triangle bandage, making quick work of wrapping Jamie’s arm in a sling “Bad news is you’ll still have to go to the hospital for an X-ray to make sure everything is where it is meant to be.” The trainer adds, finishing off Jamie’s sling before turning to you. 
“Are you in a position to drive him over?” The trainer questions and you nod quickly, “We will ring ahead to try and get you two in and out as quickly a possible.” You thank the trainer, before moving Jamie’s head away from your body, crouching down in front of him. 
“Do you wanna get changed before we go?” You ask, Jamie just nodding slowly, his eyes shooting over to the equipment manager already holding a fresh set of clothes. “I’ll wait outside, okay?” You reassure pressing a quick kiss to his forehead before leaving the room. 
‘Jamie’s not-so-bestie 😈: He’s okay, left shoulder was dislocated but one of the trainers managed to get it back in, so we’re heading to the hospital to get a quick X-ray.” You send the message to Trevor, your gaze lifting from your phone as Jamie trudges out of the locker room, his arm tight in his sling, a black hoodie thrown on with a pair of sweatpants. 
“They know you’re coming, just go straight to the imaging wing and give them Jamies name.” The trainer explains, handing Jamies backpack to you with a gentle smile. He pats Jamie on the back before heading back into the room. Jamies free hand reaches out to grip yours, pulling you in the direction of the parking garage. 
“Thank you.” Jamie says quietly as you reach his car, throwing his bag in the backseat before helping him slide into the passenger side. 
“Theres no need to thank me, Jamie.” You reassure, racing around to get into the drivers seat. As soon as you’ve reversed out of the spot, Jamie’s hand finds your again, his fingers laced with yours, his thumb stroking the back of your hand softly. You glance over at him every now and then, his eyes squeezed shut, his jaw tight as the car jostles him. 
“We’ll be home before you know it.” You coos, trying to drive as smoothly as possible. 
+
+
Jamie’s trainer was right, the trip to the hospital couldn’t have been more then an hour, the doctor giving Jamie the all clear to go home with some pain relief and instructions for strict rest, he would be in touch with the Philadelphia team to decide on a treatment plan. 
Jamie is silent as you drive the two of you back to his apartment, his hand never leaving yours as you make your way into his apartment moving him over to the couch in front of the TV. 
“I’m gonna grab you some food and water so you can take your pills.” You say quickly, but Jamie just shakes his head, his hand squeezing yours as he pulls you back to him. 
“Just stay.” He says softly, “Sit with me for a little.” He adds, his head falling to your shoulder as you take the spot besides him on the couch. Both your hands clasp his, fiddling with his fingers as his breathing slows. 
“Thank you.” He says again. 
“You really don’t have to thank me, Jamie. It’s what friends do.” You respond, the boy letting out a scoff. 
“Most friends wouldn’t fly across the country to watch a hockey game.” He sulks, the words from your Uber driver earlier ringing in your ears. 
“I guess I’m not like most friends.” You coo, a smile lighting up on Jamie’s face. 
“I guess not.” He says softly before asking, “So, are we like offical now or something?” The words making your snort as you glance down at him. 
“What are you talking about?” 
“You… Me… Us. You said you were my girlfriend.” He explains, his words gentle as he shifts his head against your shoulder, your eyes meeting. “I really want you to be my girlfriend.” He sense the way you hesitate, quickly moving to take back his statement. 
“Isn’t it obvious Jamie?” You ask, “would just a friend really fly six hours just to watch a hockey game?” 
316 notes · View notes
idyllic-ghost · 2 months
Note
heyyyy
i've been thinking THOUGHTS about uji since nana tour and i just- imagine him coming back home and you're thinking "oh he's gonna be relaxed and pay attention to me now yay!" but he just goes back to work immediately
meanwhile you've seen all the pictures he's sent you from the trip (ALLLL the pictures wink-wonk) and you've been WAITING to finally get to be with him again
basically just, jihoon in his home office late at night and you come in and wait for him to go to bed- when he doesn't you start giving him "come to bed kisses" (wrapping your arms around his shoulders, giving kisses to his cheek and down his neck to whisper "come to bed" against his skin- you know the deal)🫣
title: finally~ pairing: woozi x fem!reader genre: smut, fluff warnings: smut MDNI, sub!jihoon, oral (m receiving), cowgirl, kind of big cock!jihoon, cream pie wordcount: 2.4k taglist: @enhacolor, @shuabby1994, @junhui-recs, @dkakapizzaboy, @just-here-to-read-01, @loviehan, @userjunhuii, @novalpha, @bubblymoon, @aaniag, @d0nghyuck, @fantasy2wonderland, @seunghancore, @woozixo, @niktwazny303, @lllucere, @uniq-tastic, @wonwoospartyhat, @stariightjoyy, @hyneyedfiz, @cali-snow, @pearlygraysky, @crazywittysassy, @yeosayang
a/n: thank you for your request! sorry it took so long to get done, but i hope you enjoy!! (took creative liberties with what you had written, it had to be done)
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✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Jihoon was still sitting in front of the screen. Headphones were on, pushing his long locks out of his face, but you could hear a muffled memory over the clicking of his keyboard. You managed to make him stay home, but you should have known he'd isolate himself in his home office. Ever since you installed it, you knew it was a bad idea. He couldn't separate his personal life from his work life, which didn't make it easier.
Even though he had only recently come back from his trip to Italy, you hadn't seen much of him. From all the pictures he had sent, you could tell he was relaxing and having a good time - but instead of bringing that with him, he had left his calm in Tuscany. Which was torture for you, seeing as he had been teasing you all this time; sending pictures of him by the pool or working out - calling you late at night whenever he could find some alone time. Despite his cold exterior, Jihoon wasn't a fan of distance.
You were on the couch in the corner of the room, watching him. You weren't just watching him - you were staring, but Jihoon didn't notice. He was sitting slightly hunched over, his elbow on his desk and his head resting in his hand. His other hand was softly drumming against the table, his head nodding along with the rhythm that his fingers were making. The clock on the wall said 11:34 PM, meaning bedtime - or at least, lying in bed and not necessarily sleeping.
When he started humming, you were done. Jihoon's humming was quiet and smooth, but you were already annoyed. Your shoulders tensed up and you tried to take a deep breath to let it go. The sudden sound got your boyfriend's attention. He looked over at you and moved one of the ear cups of headphones to sit behind his ear.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"I'm fine."
Jihoon narrowed his eyes at you. He had been in this situation before and made the mistake of accepting "I'm fine" as a fact. After taking off his headphones, he turned his chair toward you. You looked away from him, trying to escape his steady gaze.
"Are you sure?" he questioned. "You know I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong, baby."
"I just want to go to bed," you admitted and quickly added, "With you."
"Go," he said, "I'll be there soon. I promise."
You were sure that he wasn't lying - but soon for him could mean another few hours. Jihoon lost track of time when he was working. So, you only nodded and stood up. He put his headphones back on and turned back to his computer. You looked toward the door with aversion, your feet naturally walking toward Jihoon's chair instead. Even like this, hunched over and pulling weird faces whenever he didn't like something, he made your knees weak. Maybe it was the black shirt that clung to his arms and over his chest, or the way his hair hung delicately over his features. Either way, you needed him now.
"Jihoon," you murmured as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. "Please."
You pressed a kiss to his cheek, feeling them move as he started smiling. Then you pressed another kiss to his jaw, following the sharp line until you got down to his neck. The hair on his neck stood up as you found the sensitive spot there.
"Come to bed," you mumbled against his skin.
"I'm almost done," he answered, but still turned his head to give you more access.
"You said that thirty minutes ago," you reminded him. "Jihoon, I've barely gotten to be with you since you came back."
Jihoon grumbled something unintelligible before pulling off his headphones and putting them on the table. You let go of his shoulders, letting him stand up from his chair. As soon as he was standing, he went to wrap his arms around you - putting his hand on the back of your head and guiding it to rest in the crook of his neck. His other hand made its way to your back, stroking slow and comforting circles.
"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I've been trying to catch up on work... I thought I could finish it up quickly to give you more attention later."
"What kind of plan is that?" You snorted.
"... I thought it was smart."
You pushed away slightly from him, allowing you to take a good look at him. His ears were a bit red, but you could tell that it wasn't just from his headphones by the flustered look on his face.
"Please come to bed?" you asked, bringing your hands up to cup his face.
"Okay."
Jihoon kissed one of your palms before letting you go, only long enough to grab your hand to lead you to the bedroom. Anticipation grew from your stomach up to your chest, spreading through the rest of your body. Finally, you'd get him for yourself. He opened the door to the bedroom, guiding you inside before closing the door behind him. You hadn't slept with him since the first night he got back, and it didn't take long for you to fall onto the mattress from exhaustion - Jihoon falling asleep almost immediately from the jet lag. Long story short, it hadn't been as satisfying as it usually was.
Now, as Jihoon is taking his time kissing your bare skin that he is slowly revealing, you could already feel that you'd be much more satisfied tonight. Your fingers ran through his hair, pulling at his locks when his lips found a sensitive spot on your chest. Jihoon groaned against your soft skin, his arms desperately pulling you closer. His lips trailed up your neck and jaw, quickly finding your lips. He left a chaste and sweet kiss on your lips, unfitting from the rest of his actions. When he pulled away, his eyes stayed shut for a moment - as if he had to savor the feeling of your lips, even though he knew very well that he could kiss you whenever he wanted.
"I've missed you," he admitted.
"I've been right here this entire time," you argued.
"I know, I know." He sighed. "I'm stupid."
"No, you're not," you corrected him. "You just have an interesting way of getting work done."
"I have to admit, you're great motivation." He took your hand in his, backing up until the back of his legs hit the side of the bed and he sat down. "But you're distracting too."
You straddled his lap, connecting your lips to his again and wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands instinctively made their way to your ass, groping it and ushering you to grind over his crotch. With only your panties on, you could feel everything against his sweatpants. You moaned into his mouth, days of neglecting your growing lust finally getting an outlet. Hungry hands went to the hem of his shirt and you tried to pull it over his head.
"Eager, are we?" he murmured against your lips before pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it to the side.
"Don't tease me," you whined.
You finally got to feel his bare skin under your fingertips, electricity shooting through your hands to your core. His fingers did work on your bra, unclasping it and tossing it to the side. As soon as he got rid of the material, his lips were on your uncovered tits - sucking bruises on the sensitive skin.
"I need you," you muttered.
In a swift move, Jihoon laid you down on the bed under him. He leaned over you, arms on either side of your head. His hair fell over his face and you reached up to brush it back with your fingers.
"I have to cut my hair." He sighed.
"No, I love it," you said and pulled your fingers through his hair again, it was soft but unruly. "It's pretty."
"It keeps getting in the way..." he argued, deciding to ignore your compliment to save himself from becoming a flustered mess.
"Hair ties exist," you countered.
"I don't have one right now."
"You're going to make me walk around with hair ties on my wrist, aren't you?" You let go of his hair and, with your legs around his waist, managed to flip him over on his back. "No hair tie just means that I get to be on top."
His hair spread out around his head like a dark halo, contrasting well with the white pillow underneath him - his eyes were wide, his pupils were blown out, and his lips were parted slightly. You could study his face for hours. Deciding to put on a show for him, you started grinding over his clothed crotch; you were desperate to take off his pants already. Jihoon's hands found their place on your hips, trying to take control of your movements. You grabbed his hands, moving them to lie over his head.
"Let me do the work, baby," you murmured.
You moved down his body and, to your surprise, his hands stayed where you left them. Carefully, you removed his sweatpants - leaving kisses along his hipbone and right by his happy trail. Goosebumps trailed along his skin as Jihoon shivered. Now that only his underwear was between you and his cock, you could see how hard he had gotten. You pressed a kiss over the fabric before rubbing his clothed cock with your palm. Jihoon went to grab your hair, but you slapped his hands away.
"Keep them above your head," you demanded.
"Okay..." Jihoon's voice was barely above a whisper, weak and shaky.
Your ministrations had already taken a toll on him. You pulled down his underwear, letting his cock slap against his abdomen. Grabbing his shaft, you put the pink tip in your mouth - peering up at him through your lashes. His eyes were shut tight, his mouth in a tight line to hide any noises. One of your hands was still wrapped around his cock, but with the other, you grazed his lower stomach and side.
"I want to hear you, Jihoonie," you chirped. "Please?"
He opened his mouth with a soft gasp as you took him deeper into your mouth. You began bobbing your head up and down his shaft, stroking the part that you couldn't take with your hand. Jihoon squirmed under you, desperately wanting to touch you but not wanting to disappoint you.
"I've missed your mouth..." he soughed.
Your mouth came off his cock with a pop, and you spit on it to keep stroking with your hand. He opened his eyes and looked at you with furrowed brows.
"You should've thought about that before you decided to lock yourself in your office for days," you teased.
"I'm sorry-" He groaned. "I won't do it again..."
"You will," you hummed. "That's okay, though... you always get so sensitive when you've gone a few days without pussy. It's cute."
You let go of him, positioning yourself to straddle his lap again. You watched him, as he struggled to keep his hands above his head. To put him out of his misery, you grabbed his hands again and pushed them against your tits. While he was groping your breasts and pinching your nipples, you grabbed his dick and directed it to your cunt - letting it drag over your dripping slit before finally pushing him inside. It had been a few days since you last took him like this, and without prep, the stretch stung ever so slightly. You moaned as you inched down on his cock, looking on as Jihoon's face contorted in pleasure.
"See?" You let out a breathy laugh. "Already so fucked out."
"... so warm." Jihoon moaned and put his hands on your hips again. "Baby, please..."
"Please what?"
"Move."
You put your hands on his chest, slowly moving your hips up and down while you teased his nipples. His milky skin grew pink under your touch - and you adored the way he squirmed under you. Short gasps mixed with moans came bubbling out of his throat, and he only got louder the faster you moved. His hips started moving against yours, and soon enough he was holding up your hips and fucking up into you.
"Gonna cum..." he whined.
You weren't close, but an idea popped into your mind. You let him keep fucking you, not even trying to stop him as he came inside of you. But, as his movements died down, you didn't let him pull out. Once his limbs were slack, you grabbed his hands pinned them against the bed, and started moving your hips again.
"Too much-"
"You can take it, pretty boy," you hummed. "You want to make me cum, right?"
"Yes, yes..." He groaned.
"Then you'll let me use you... you're already getting hard again, I can feel it," you moaned. "Won't you help me, Jihoonie?"
He nodded furiously, and you let go of his hands. One of his, now free, hands went to rub your clit, while the other rested on your hip. A knot started building up in your stomach. Your breathing grew heavier as you desperately worked towards your high. Jihoon was already sensitive, and your contracting walls didn't help - he was getting close too.
"Cum inside me again, baby," you murmured. "I want you to cum with me."
Your movements grew sloppy, your hips stuttering over his crotch, but Jihoon never stopped rubbing circles on your clit. As the fire pooling in your lower stomach bloomed throughout the rest of your body, you dissolved into pleasure and slumped against your boyfriend's body. You could feel his second load leaking out of your spent hole. The two of you lay there, the only thing that could be heard in the room was your heavy breathing. However, soon enough Jihoon's hands made their way to your back. His palms rubbed slow circles over your skin, making you whine and bury your head deeper into the crook of his neck.
"We should go to the bathroom..." he muttered.
"Do your legs work?"
"... no."
"Neither do mine."
The two of you chuckled, and you managed to move around enough to lie down beside him. You felt so empty without his cock inside you, but you didn't have the energy to do anything about it.
"Thank you for taking me out of work," he hummed.
"Thank you for finally coming to bed."
Jihoon wrapped his strong arms around you, getting to feel his bare skin against yours. The two of you lay there, trying your best not to fall asleep - you'd only regret it when you woke up. However, for just a moment, you let yourself relax in his arms and savor every second of his embrace.
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MDNI 18+ BLOG -> ageless blogs and minors WILL BE BLOCKED
pairing ✭ dom!seonghwa x bratty!f!reader
synopsis ✭ He told you not to wear the dress. You did it anyway. And he's not usually very forgiving.
content/genre ✭ smut 18+ MDNI
word count ✭ 2.2k
note ✭ this is lightly inspired by "worst behavior" by ariana grande
warnings ✭ name-calling (he calls mc a "whore" 😀, baby, pretty girl), grips her jaw really tight (it's made clear that it's something she enjoys), restraints (cuffs her to bed), blindfold, hwa is pretty controlling, protected sex, edging
✭✭✭✭
You were being a tease. Everyone knew it. You knew it. The whole party knew it. But not a single soul knew it better than Seonghwa. 
He’d been so generous to bring you to this party. It was supposed to be a classy event–one with nice dresses and well-pressed suits. Polished shoes and fancy perfumes. And those weren’t necessarily things you lacked, but your “nice dress” of choice had certainly taken some liberties. Specifically with how impossibly short it was.
If you were being honest, you hadn’t meant to tease him per say, but you knew that, if you wore the sluttiest dress you could find, your boyfriend would want to leave early. That meant you wouldn’t have to waste a perfectly fine evening at one of his boring, posh company gatherings. He had tried to stop you, too, but you had never been a very good listener.
✭✭✭✭
As you touched up your makeup in the mirror of your boyfriend’s luxury apartment, you couldn’t help but admire the reflection. You looked incredible in your black minidress. Its lace detailing was what had originally caught your eye, and you happened to know that your boyfriend was a fan of it too. Though, maybe not for a night like tonight.
“Baby, are you almost ready?” You heard him call from the conjoined bedroom. 
As you finished one last swipe of lip gloss, you called back, “Yep!”
He was smiling when he peaked his head into the bathroom, but you saw that smile immediately drop in the reflection of the mirror when he saw your outfit.
You pouted, “What?” And you turned around to face him.
“You’re not wearing that dress.” He said plainly.
With a roll of your eyes that he did not like in the slightest, you retorted, “I like it.”
“Yeah, well,” with a couple of steps in your direction, he pushed you up against the counter of the sink, the marble digging into your backside, “You look like a whore, and I don’t want my colleagues to see you like this.” 
You felt giddy with pleasure at how upset he was getting, and all it took was a simple dress. Still, you kept up the annoyed act, “Well, your colleagues can keep it in their fucking pants because I’m not taking it off.”
He gripped your chin with his ring-clad hand and forced you to look him right in the face, “I don’t like this little attitude, baby. Are we gonna have a problem tonight?”
You didn’t respond. You couldn’t. You were so focused on the unyielding grip of his hand on your jaw, that all you could manage to think about was the hand dropping lower to grasp your neck. Before things could go any further, though, there was a knock at the bedroom door.
“Sir, are you ready? The car is here. And we are already running late.”
“One second,” your boyfriend responded to his assistant. Returning his attention to you, the grip on your jaw tightened, “You are so fucking lucky that we’re running late or I would punish you right fucking now.”
You swallowed hard, trying to suppress the whine that bubbled up in your throat at his words. Because, let’s be honest, there was nothing you wanted more than for him to do just that.
✭✭✭✭
The part was just as boring as you assumed it would be. Everyone was dressed for the part. A room full of rich people looking to show off their wealth. And, of course, Seonghwa was no exception to that, seeing as he’d brought his sugar baby with him, though you were certainly attracting a good bit of negative attention from the crowd.
Throughout the whole night, Seonghwa kept his hand on your lower back, dictating your every move and keeping you in his sights. Though it was clear he had additional motives. Motives fueled by the fact that he knew it drove you absolutely insane when he took control of you like that. Guiding you from person to person as he chatted away with executives from his company, always acutely aware of how you clung to him with your fingers playing with the edges of his suit jacket.
He’d occasionally pass you a flute of champagne off a tray motioned toward him by a waiter. “Thank you,” you’d whisper as the glass transferred from his hand to yours. And he would purposely brush your hand with his own as he gave you the glass. 
As he talked you nodded along to his every word, not paying much attention to what came out of his mouth. Too busy absent-mindedly playing with the buttons of his shirt, occasionally slipping your hand through them to feel his chest underneath the shirt. Each time, he’d remove your hand himself and cast a glare down at you. Only for you to grin up at him with your bottom lip between your teeth.
When he finished chatting with a couple that had occupied his attention for the past half-hour, he turned his attention to you. He pulled you into his chest, it was an embrace that anyone around you would have thought was a cute romantic gesture, but you were smart enough to know that was far from the case.
“You’re really asking for it, huh baby?” he growled in your ear, his breath hot against your skin.
“Hwa,” you whined softly, “I wanna go home.” You wiggled in his embrace.
“Fine, we can go home, but I can promise you are in big fucking trouble when we do.”
✭✭✭✭
It only took two minutes from the second the car pulled up to Seonghwa’s apartment for him to be on top of you in his bed.
To your surprise things started off sweet. He kissed you softly, with his hands playing with the frills in the lace of your dress. His lips traveled from your own to your cheek and jaw. Leaving little bites in the wake of his kisses. When you gripped, his hair, your nails digging into his scalp, it was as if you’d flipped a switch in him. 
He was off of you in a second, and you pouted at his departure. You propped yourself up on your elbows as you watched him slip off the bed and head to his dresser.
Your thighs rubbed together in anticipation. You watched as he stripped himself of his suit jacket, leaving him in his back dress shirt. He slid a condom into his back pocket and grabbed a pair of cuffs from the drawer along with a silk blindfold and vibrator. 
When he made his way back to the bed, you made a move to take your dress off, but he stopped you. Grabbing your hair and tilting your head up to meet his eyes, “The dress isn’t going anywhere.”
“What?” Your eyes widened at that news, “Why?” you croaked out, confused.
“Well, you like it so much, don’t you baby?” You nodded hesitantly at his question, still excited for the answer, “Then I don’t see any reason why I should take it off you. I might just have to fuck you in it.”
After cuffing you to the headboard and tying the silk cloth around your eyes, you heard him shuffle around the bed. He adjusted one of the pillows under your head, “Is that comfortable?” He muttered in your ear. 
“Yeah,” you breathed back. You were met with a kiss on the forehead at your reassurance. As much as you loved when he was rough with you, it was nice to always know that he genuinely did care for your well-being. 
He continued to kiss down your body while his hands groped you over your dress. You were so distracted by the feeling of his lips on your skin, the heat of his mouth as he nipped at your jaw and collarbone, that you failed to notice the faint buzzing noise of the vibrator when he turned it on.
You were made aware of its presence, though, when he pressed it to your panties, making you gasp and jump up slightly. You just knew he was smirking down at you. 
He just loved to watch you squirm under him. Watching you unravel without him even having to do any work. 
When he held the toy to your clit over your underwear, you moaned, loud, “Hwa, oh fuck!” You wiggled your hips trying to give yourself more.
He slapped in inside of your thigh, “Move again, and I’ll turn it off.”
“Please, baby,” you whined, “I need more.”
“Oh? You think you deserve more?” He smacked your thigh again, “After how horrible you were being tonight? You're lucky I don’t just tie you up and get myself off. You don’t want that do you, baby?”
You shook your head furiously, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please Hwa…”
He pressed the vibe harder into your clit, circling it around, building friction between your panties and your clit. You felt your stomach tighten at the continuous motion.
He noticed that you were close, “Oh are you close?” you nodded dumbly, “Yeah? Do you wanna come, baby?”
“Yes! Please baby, please!” You could feel yourself getting closer and closer, and you were on the verge of spilling over. But it came to a screeching halt when he removed the vibrator from you entirely.
You felt your eyes well up with tears of frustration, and he noticed it, “Oh, is my baby crying? Maybe if you hadn’t acted like such a whore tonight, you could get what you want.”
“Please..” you gasped out in a broken whisper.
“Patience baby,” when he said “patience,” though, he really just meant he wanted you to beg for it he wanted you to cry under him and beg for him to fuck you.
And beg you did, as he teasingly ran his fingers over your soaked panties, you continued to whine out his name, over and over and over again. When he finally moved them aside and ran a finger through your fold, he teased you, “God, could you get any wetter? Is this all mine?”
You could barely gasp out a “yes” before his fingers were inside you. “Fuck!” you choked out as he fucked you on his hand, watching as you unraveled for a second time. “Please, Hwa! I need more! Please!”
“Oh…baby’s gonna behave now is she?”
You nodded, “I’ll be so good, please.”
“Yeah? You want my cock, baby?”
“Oh god yes! I want it so bad,” involuntarily, you rolled your hips against his hand. Resulting in another smack to your thigh. Again, he waited until you were on the verge of cumming to pull away his hand. You tried to reach out with your legs to wrap them around him, but he was already sliding off the bed. From the shuffling you heard, you could tell he was taking off his clothes. You whined at the thought, thighs rubbing together to give yourself something while he was away.
You felt his weight dip in the bed, and his hand came up to caress your cheek, “Are you ready, pretty baby?”
“Uh huh,” you nodded, “I’ve been so good. Please…”
He chuckled, sliding the blindfold off of your eyes so that it was around your neck, “Well, I don’t know about that, but your lucky that you're so fucking beautiful. And I just can’t help myself.”
He rolled the condom on as he kissed you softly. When he ran his length through your folds, you sighed at the contact. He kept kissing you as he pushed into you, slowly at first.
You gasped and arched your back, “Oh my god!” He didn’t keep the pace slow for long. You’d spent so long teasing him and playing around with him, that he was insatiably pent up. That didn’t mean he didn’t have the patience to tease you of course, but, by the time he was inside of you, both of you were at your wit’s end.
He gripped the back of your head with one hand and you hip with the other, pressing his forehead to yours as he pounded into you. Over and over and over. 
“Shit, baby,” he murmured against your lips, “You keep getting tighter.”
“Oh, Hwa, I’m so close,” you croaked out, tears running down your cheeks, “Please, please, please let me cum.” Every inch of you felt hot, and your legs shook as your pleasure overtook.”
“Fuck, yeah, pretty girl. Cum around me. Shit–. I’m close to.”
Your eyes rolled back, and your jaw went slack as you came. Legs shaking without any control. You cried out his name with your chest heaving.
He pulled out of you when you finished and ripped off the condom. He groaned as he pumped his dick a few times, cumming all over your dress.
You whined as he admired the damage he’d done to the garment. “Hwa…my dress.” You pouted as he undid the restraints above your head.
“Yeah, you’re not ever wearing this fucking dress ever again.”
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note ✭ thank you so so so much to everyone who helped me choose to write this one. i struggled a bit to get it done, but i wanted to get something done before i go home this weekend 😊
if you liked it, please let me know! i absolutely love love love hearing feedback whether it be comments, reblogs, or even just a small message in my dms or inbox. i love hearing from ya'll 💗
anyways thank you for reading! love ya~
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