#stay at home dad

[cult-of-artemis-and-athena]

Did feminism unintentionally create married single moms??

Feminism isn't one thing. There are many flavors of feminism, some that completely contradict others on points. If your flavor of feminism doesn't promote what I'm charging "feminism" with, then I'm not talking about you, but what I'm about to describe is a rather prominent line of thought across many types of feminism.

Feminism may have painted itself into a corner with respect to family and childrearing.

Some of the strains around the second wave were not concerned or actively hostile toward these things. This was either, at best, because they were intended for a politically or earnestly Sapphic audience, or at worst, because they were reactionary and/or anti-natalist and misandrist. There was some controversy in the second wave as to whether a SAHM could even be a feminist, for example.

In my last post, I said the push for women to enter the workforce wasn't accompanied by a complementary movement to bring men into the home.

We go forward two waves to The Current Year, and while there are some feminists who view (voluntary, non-Blood-And-Soil, non-theocratic) tradwifery as a valid choice for women and not "taking women back 100 years", if we're being perfectly honest, I think a lot of feminists recoil at the idea of being a SAHM or view it as a choice for some-women-but-not-me. Secretly they have some contempt for those women. It's framed often as "It's valid and feminism is about choice but personally, I would be so bored. I don't want to waste my potential," (or similar statements) which unintentionally frames being a SAHM as something good for boring women without a lot of aspirations or things going for themselves, but not smart and interesting women with potential.

In the manosphere, I've seen being a SAHM framed as perfect for women because it's intellectually undemanding, and that women are low-intelligence and never mentally develop beyond adolescence, by nature, so they can do tedious tasks and spend all their time around children without wanting to blow their brains out like an Alpha Male would want to because he's too smart and has better, more important things to do.

Sometimes tradcons couch this a bit more gently, that "Why would women rather submit to their boss who doesn't care about them, but not submit to their husband who loves them?" It's still acknowledging that they view this as a one-way power dynamic where one person is important and the other person is not, and the full-time parent is the one that is the lesser. "Women wouldn't be so mentally ill and stressed if they just stayed home and had kids," which is still framing stay-at-home parenting as something for mentally fragile, neurotic people who can't cut it in the "real world".

The same logic is used by those men to shit on men who do chores and childcare in a significant capacity, or those who are or aspire to be SAHDs -- that those men are wasting their potential, lazy, weak, incompetent, pushovers bullied by their wives, etc.

(What an odd thing for them to say...)

Feminists generally perpetuate the same beliefs, albeit couched in different language.

If we're the type of woman to grrr at the idea of being a SAHM, we need to examine what part of that we're grrr-ing at.

Is it because it was de-facto compulsory in the past and we've adopted a sort of inter-generational trauma, so we say "Never again!" and are reflexively avoiding anything that looks like it could turn into a slippery slope?

Is it because we associate it with necessarily being shackled to a domineering and insensitive patriarchal figure who barely treats us like a real person?

Is it because we dislike the lame-ass, square, hokey-dokey, pastel-colored, squishy, cow-eyed - or maybe even cheugy - aesthetics of marriage and/or motherhood we inherited from the Victorians and see reinforced by Mormon and Evangelical influencers?

Is it because some of our childhoods were actually kind of fucked up and something adjacent to motherhood is severely triggering, or we're afraid of becoming our shitty parents?

Is it because we - be honest - think it's a lower-status position, a waste of talent of some form, suitable for someone inferior in some way, etc.?

I think the latter one - between traditionalist and redpill men, reactionary feminists, and antifeminist pick-me's - is how society views SAHMs at an aggregate level. Society doesn't give a lot of prestige for stay-at-home parents -- the less educated, less intelligent of the two parents, they gave up their job because it wasn't worth much in the first place, and if you talk to them, all they're going to talk about is their kids.

If humanity is to continue, people need to have kids, and someone needs to raise them. I think outsourcing this to corporations and the state is fucking inviting trouble, but literally who is going to raise the kids if neither parent wants to do it because everyone from the right to the left has shit on the concept of childrearing for 70 years or more?

I think that was the problem from the beginning of the women's liberation movement. It's created a situation where men entering the home without being seen as lesser is the logical response to women entering the workforce without being seen as lesser, but it's turned into a very hard sell because it comes off as "Come do this thing we don't want to do because it fucking sucks and it's for dumb people."

#feminism #manosphere #stay at home mom #stay at home dad #stay at home parent #gender equality #traditional gender roles #gender roles #sahm #sahd #amazon feminism #gender stereotypes #redpill #motherhood #pronatalism #men's liberation

[berettajane]

A Taste of Bliss

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 572

Summary: You come home from a business trip to see Dean and your son napping. Dean was ecstatic to be a stay-at-home father, allowing you to continue the career that you worked so hard to build.

A/N:  I do not own the picture used! 

You come home from a business trip to see your husband and son snuggling in your bed for a mid-afternoon nap.  You go into the spare bedroom to change from your button-up and slacks to sweatpants and one of Dean’s undershirts before climbing in bed with the pair, your son laying between you.  You lean down, kissing the crown of your son’s head before taking Dean’s left hand, kissing every knuckle before placing a final kiss on his wedding ring.  When you look up, Dean is awake and smiling softly, happy to just lay eyes on you after three days.

“Hey,” you whisper, returning his smile. “Hey, Mama.  We missed you, ya know?” Dean whispered, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “I know, baby.  I wish I didn’t have to do these damn trips anymore.  I hate being away from my boys," you pout. “Once you get that promotion, maybe you won’t have to worry about going away anymore.  For now, just get some rest, okay?” Dean whispers, gently moving a loose lock of hair behind your ear. “I love you, honey,” you mumbled, sleep clouding your mind quickly. “I know,” Dean smiled, making you chuckle quietly.  

xXxXxXxXxXxXxX

When you woke up a few hours later, the bed was empty.  You frowned, pulling yourself out of the bed and rubbing your eyes sleepily.  You walked into the kitchen to see an early dinner cooking on the stove, Dean feeding your son while quietly singing to him.  Tears pricked your eyes at the sight of your family, even in the most routine settings.  Dean was an amazing dad and a wonderful husband; there was nothing else in the world to make your life more complete.  You couldn’t be more thankful to Dean for understanding that you weren’t built to be a stay-at-home mom.  Dean was happy to take on the role of a stay-at-home dad, never feeling threatened by you continuing your career while he did the majority of raising your son.  It all worked in a perfect harmony.

“Mommy!” Dean said excitedly, raising his hands in the air, your son to imitating his daddy.  You laughed when you heard your son squeal, clapping his hands. “There’s my beautiful family!” you exclaimed playfully.  You walked over, kissing your giggling son repeatedly on the cheek before moving to kiss Dean, his hand finding your waist.  “Thank you for the nap,” you smiled, kissing him again. “Jet lag’s a bitch, so I figured I’d let you sleep.  Dinner’s almost done,” his fingers moved aimlessly along your sides. “Do you want me to finish feeding him so you can take care of dinner?” you offered, loving the idea of spending time with the baby. “Yeah, that’d be great,” Dean agreed, smiling as he got up from his seat and handed you the baby food and spoon.  “He’s almost done.  I’ll put him in the playpen before we start eating.”  Dean pulled you in for another kiss, his hand resting on the small of your back.  God, is there anything you hadn't missed about this man?  You pulled apart when your son released another squeal, indicating that he was still hungry and was not happy about that.  You laughed, pulling away from Dean, patting his ass as he walked toward the stove.  He smirked at you as he threw a kitchen towel over his shoulder, turning around to tend to dinner.

Your life couldn’t be more perfect.

Masterlist

AO3: BerettaJane

#supernatural blurb #supernatural #supernatural fluff #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean x you #daddy dean #kid fic #parenthood #motherhood #fatherhood #domestic fluff #tooth rotting fluff #stay at home dad #domestic bliss #healthy relationships #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #berettajane

[maereasblog]

spencer isn’t in season 16 because he was too busy looking after elle and his kids

#stay at home dad #spencelle #my beloveds #they deserve a happy ending

[lapsed-lys]

April 7th 2024

Entry #025

Stay-at-home

I grew up with both parents working as teachers, my mother being an elementary school teacher (1st grade a.k.a children around 6 years old). A few times in my life, I asked my mother why she chose this career, and, everytime, she'd answer something like this:

“Children are blessings, and they're fun! Honestly, if I had the choice, I would be a stay-at-home mother.”

And, to be quite honest, I always saw her doing both jobs, being a teacher and a SAHM. She always does her best to maintain the house and make sure our days run smoothly, especially with her excellent cooking. When I dropped college after 3 years of digital media studies, I always knew my biggest comfort amongst the chaos would be my mother, and being able to help her maintain the house.

I think that's something I inherited from her, the love of maintaining a household. I love cleaning, baking, making sure the animals are well, and catching up with the family. Honestly, if I were to be dropped a child to take care of, I wouldn't mind taking care of them as a stay-at-home father.

It won't be possible in my life, due to poverty (my mother herself can't be a SAHM due to the need of more money to keep the house and her 4 children), so for now I only have my utmost respect for stay-at-home parents.

And thank you mom for being my biggest comfort on Earth amongst all the chaos in my life.

#journal du lys #catholic #christianity #catholicism #lapsed catholic #christian #christian tumblr #christblr #christianblr #stay at home mom #stay at home dad #stay at home parent

[andromedadanae]

The Biracial Family We Didn't Realise We All Needed

I can’t be the only one who noticed that these five are totally a biracial family!!

You’ve got

Claudia, the working mother

Terry, the stay at home dad

Sir Sparklepuff, their biracial child

Viren, the grandfather that lives way to close and is always over and criticising the way his daughter and her husband raise their child

Soren, the distant uncle who left the family years ago because he didn’t get along with his family well and is meeting his nephew for the first time

How is there no fanfic of this yet, as of me writing this season four has been out for 18 days, I’ve seen fics out the day the season/episode is released before

#the dragon prince #found family #need fanfic #why doesnt this exist #were we the only ones who thought of this #sir sparklepuff #claudia #viren #terry #soren #terry x claudia #getting along with your stepdad mostly #grandson grandfather bonding #distant uncle #overbearing father in law #stay at home dad #working mom #biracial couple #biracial child that definitely looks likes his parents #and totally is not an adopted alien #family roadtrip through xadia #ao3 #fanfic #terrestrius #tdp

[weddedlobster]

Me dancing towards my wife @interstellarghostparty last night:

🎶 Yes I do the cooking

🎵 Yes I do the cleaning

🎶 Yes I rub your feet every evening

#sahd #stay at home dad #living my best goddamn life #love her so much #marriage #married life #mah wife #my wife

[lifeovercoffee]

One of the things I noticed when I started working out of the home in 2003 is that my wife, as a stay-at-home mom, never has a day off, seven days a week, and is always on-call. It was convicting, motivating me not to think that my day job was all of my job. Like her, it's a 24/7, always on-call opportunity to serve our family. https://lifeovercoffee.com/biblical-dads-continue-working-after-coming-home-from-work/

#stay at home mom #stay at home wife #stay at home dad #stay at home parent

[doctor-disc0]

Apparently, families like mine don't exist 🤷

#patriarchy #working mom #stay at home dad

[menoftiktok]

#tiktok #funny #stay at home dad #about me

[aqueencomplexx]

For the price of $0.00, I will physically fight anyone who disrespects stay at home parents

#sahmlife #sahmomlife #stay at home parent #stay at home dad #stay at home moms #parents #parent life #mom life #dad life #as someone who is one and as someone who doesn’t take disrespect #I will defend y’all #this shit exhausting #if you want me to hospitalize them #it’s also free #just say the word

[i-am-the-quintessential-queer]

Y’all know what’s wild? I literally yearn for a life where I can be a stay at home parent, that nuclear family of two parents and 2.5 kids, and taking care of a house with a nice yard and a dog

And that is so unobtainable right now. Like what used to be the bare minimum standard just a few decades ago is now a pipe dream because of how fucked things are

I literally work as a daycare teacher so that I can be around kids on a daily because the idea of becoming a parent seems so impossible to me

#it speaks #text post #depressing #this is so depressing #nuclear family #stahm #stay at home mom #stahd #stay at home dad #stahp #stay at home parent #vent #venting #ranting #rant

[thegrumpynerddad]

Shower Thoughts

Greetings and happy Mother’s Day! You ever hear the phrase “kids say the darnest thing?” Babe, I’d like to believe that the dog stalks your beautiful bodacious behind for the same reasons I do: it’s just so admirable! Happy Mother’s Day hon. We would be so lost without all the light and joy you bring into our lives. The kids and I are blessed more than you know for having you. You are the…

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#art #blogging #children #comic #dad #doodle #fatherhood #funny #grumpy nerd dad #illustrator #kids #love #marriage #married life #mom #mother #paint #parent #parenting #stay at home dad #toddler #wife

[lnholt]

A message from the stay-at-home parent:

Let's start by saying thank you for the opportunity to stay at home, allowing us to be there for our children, watching them grow while you provide most if not all of the income for our family.

But let's not forget what we do at home is still work without a paycheck; every day, we are the caretakers, cooks, cleaners, therapists, playmates, and principle for our children. Staying at home can feel like groundhogs day, with some days a diaper blowout thrown into the mix; we wake up most days at the same time because the children are awake.

We cook them food, and if we are lucky, they will eat what we have made, on the plate we put it on and the selected surface. If any of these do not make the child happy, we try again (most of the time). While doing this, we either think about making some coffee, or we have made it, and now it is cold, so reheat or drink it because deep down, we know it will just get cold again.

Then there is activity time and diaper or potty time, running around trying to give our child a fun day, but not every day is fun; there are the tantrums, the crying because we said to clean up, or the anger because we said no candy for lunch, the baby is needing to be fed after they just ate one minute ago to just throwing it all up on you.

Now, after some time, it's lunchtime, breakfast all over again but with maybe a different food, then realizing we haven't even gone to the bathroom yet. We have had to for the last few hours, and we try to go, but either the child who learned to open the door is now in the bathroom with us or the baby is crying, so hurry and get back out there.

Nap time sounds good about now, and maybe make some food for our us to eat; we rock the child lay them down, we know they are tired, leave the room as quietly as we can, go to the kitchen or start to make something or begin to eat what the child has left on the plate to only hear the napping child is not napping and is now crying/ screaming, so lunch break is cut short.

After some time, a nap is over activity again, sit on the sofa for a moment to get pulled into playing or breathe for a five-minute break most of the time while holding the baby. Look at the clock and realize its almost time for you to get off work, see the house isn't clean, dinner is not started, still, need to go to the bathroom, the child wants a snack, the baby is crying for more milk, an exclusively pumping mama has to sit and take the time to pump the milk ( all day long ) or latch baby, or make the bottle.

This day is only one of the many possibilities because there are sick kid days, sick parent days, school work, possible work-from-home jobs, and there is so much more being done with the children than mentioned here.

Incomes the spouse to only assume we have done nothing all day or had plenty of time to cook, clean, or take a shower. When the reality is yes, we might have had an extra fifteen minutes today, but that was used to sit and breathe or take a sip of that stale cold coffee and call another adult for some adult interaction.

Because when you come home, you are tired and don't want to talk, so that takes away from your interaction with an adult; you also want and deserve to decompress.

Still, please remember you got to drive to work alone, go to the bathroom alone, sit and maybe have lunch, drove back home alone, we woke up to our job and never left our job, go to sleep at our job and wake up to start it all over most of the time seven days a week, no holiday or sick days allowed.

Please know we appreciate and love our jobs, but just like you at your job, it doesn't always mean it's always easy or fun to be at every day.

#stay at home parent #stay at home mothers #stay at home dad #tired mom #tired dad #need a break #children #lets be honest

[bcsandstrom]

Three Jokes and more to come!!! March 2023

#Foomalauge #Stay AT Home Dad #Stay at Home Parent #Parenting #comic #comix #kids #children #kid jokes #children jokes #jokes #kid comic #kid comedian

[theedfather]

Earlier today, Ed & I were just hanging out and watching Bluey. It was the Baby Race episode, and once it was done - Ed walked over to me and asked "Did I ever learn how to walk?"

I told him, "Nope, you never figured it out unfortunately." and watched him try to process this information while walking around in circles. I just let him put the pieces together on this one tbh, learning to decode sarcasm is an important life skill, and he's at the age where silly questions get silly answers.

#bluey #rambles #stay at home dad

[spacelion-loveshermulletson]

”Tackling the stigma that dads can’t handle "mommy business" ”

#sexism cw #video #social test #dads #fathers #stay at home dad #Youtube