#sahd

[cult-of-artemis-and-athena]

Did feminism unintentionally create married single moms??

Feminism isn't one thing. There are many flavors of feminism, some that completely contradict others on points. If your flavor of feminism doesn't promote what I'm charging "feminism" with, then I'm not talking about you, but what I'm about to describe is a rather prominent line of thought across many types of feminism.

Feminism may have painted itself into a corner with respect to family and childrearing.

Some of the strains around the second wave were not concerned or actively hostile toward these things. This was either, at best, because they were intended for a politically or earnestly Sapphic audience, or at worst, because they were reactionary and/or anti-natalist and misandrist. There was some controversy in the second wave as to whether a SAHM could even be a feminist, for example.

In my last post, I said the push for women to enter the workforce wasn't accompanied by a complementary movement to bring men into the home.

We go forward two waves to The Current Year, and while there are some feminists who view (voluntary, non-Blood-And-Soil, non-theocratic) tradwifery as a valid choice for women and not "taking women back 100 years", if we're being perfectly honest, I think a lot of feminists recoil at the idea of being a SAHM or view it as a choice for some-women-but-not-me. Secretly they have some contempt for those women. It's framed often as "It's valid and feminism is about choice but personally, I would be so bored. I don't want to waste my potential," (or similar statements) which unintentionally frames being a SAHM as something good for boring women without a lot of aspirations or things going for themselves, but not smart and interesting women with potential.

In the manosphere, I've seen being a SAHM framed as perfect for women because it's intellectually undemanding, and that women are low-intelligence and never mentally develop beyond adolescence, by nature, so they can do tedious tasks and spend all their time around children without wanting to blow their brains out like an Alpha Male would want to because he's too smart and has better, more important things to do.

Sometimes tradcons couch this a bit more gently, that "Why would women rather submit to their boss who doesn't care about them, but not submit to their husband who loves them?" It's still acknowledging that they view this as a one-way power dynamic where one person is important and the other person is not, and the full-time parent is the one that is the lesser. "Women wouldn't be so mentally ill and stressed if they just stayed home and had kids," which is still framing stay-at-home parenting as something for mentally fragile, neurotic people who can't cut it in the "real world".

The same logic is used by those men to shit on men who do chores and childcare in a significant capacity, or those who are or aspire to be SAHDs -- that those men are wasting their potential, lazy, weak, incompetent, pushovers bullied by their wives, etc.

(What an odd thing for them to say...)

Feminists generally perpetuate the same beliefs, albeit couched in different language.

If we're the type of woman to grrr at the idea of being a SAHM, we need to examine what part of that we're grrr-ing at.

Is it because it was de-facto compulsory in the past and we've adopted a sort of inter-generational trauma, so we say "Never again!" and are reflexively avoiding anything that looks like it could turn into a slippery slope?

Is it because we associate it with necessarily being shackled to a domineering and insensitive patriarchal figure who barely treats us like a real person?

Is it because we dislike the lame-ass, square, hokey-dokey, pastel-colored, squishy, cow-eyed - or maybe even cheugy - aesthetics of marriage and/or motherhood we inherited from the Victorians and see reinforced by Mormon and Evangelical influencers?

Is it because some of our childhoods were actually kind of fucked up and something adjacent to motherhood is severely triggering, or we're afraid of becoming our shitty parents?

Is it because we - be honest - think it's a lower-status position, a waste of talent of some form, suitable for someone inferior in some way, etc.?

I think the latter one - between traditionalist and redpill men, reactionary feminists, and antifeminist pick-me's - is how society views SAHMs at an aggregate level. Society doesn't give a lot of prestige for stay-at-home parents -- the less educated, less intelligent of the two parents, they gave up their job because it wasn't worth much in the first place, and if you talk to them, all they're going to talk about is their kids.

If humanity is to continue, people need to have kids, and someone needs to raise them. I think outsourcing this to corporations and the state is fucking inviting trouble, but literally who is going to raise the kids if neither parent wants to do it because everyone from the right to the left has shit on the concept of childrearing for 70 years or more?

I think that was the problem from the beginning of the women's liberation movement. It's created a situation where men entering the home without being seen as lesser is the logical response to women entering the workforce without being seen as lesser, but it's turned into a very hard sell because it comes off as "Come do this thing we don't want to do because it fucking sucks and it's for dumb people."

#feminism #manosphere #stay at home mom #stay at home dad #stay at home parent #gender equality #traditional gender roles #gender roles #sahm #sahd #amazon feminism #gender stereotypes #redpill #motherhood #pronatalism #men's liberation

[weddedlobster]

Me dancing towards my wife @interstellarghostparty last night:

🎶 Yes I do the cooking

🎵 Yes I do the cleaning

🎶 Yes I rub your feet every evening

#sahd #stay at home dad #living my best goddamn life #love her so much #marriage #married life #mah wife #my wife

[jhambone6-blog]

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#how to make money from home #affiliate #passiveincome #passive money #how to earn money #how to make money online #sidehustle #sahm #sahd

[my-little-cave-of-thoughts]

I honestly don’t want to deal with my feelings right now so let me just mask them with fake happiness and smiles.

#cavegirl #mylittlecaveofthoughts #relate #thoughts #relatable #related #relates #ugh #gif #don't want to deal #deal #Feelings #feeling #cope #coping #happy #sad #sahd #happiness #happiness where? #fake #fake feelings #fake feeling #honest #honestly #tbh #smile #mask #right now

[idontrunafoodblog]

I’m not a food blogger. That’s not my dream job and neither is creating food, cooked or baked. I was never looked at as someone to be in the kitchen and even now, as the primary cook in my household, people looking in don’t expect me to prepare delicious or even decent dishes. I’m not a food blogger because that is outside my comfort zone. My skills are in visual arts, like design, concept, and marketing. People come to me for character illustration, comic storyboards, and poster composition. I’m the artist they call for print projects, social media campaigns, and web design. Not for cakes. Not for lasagna. Not for potato salad. That’s my mom, my brother, my aunt, my great-grandma and my cousin. Not me. So I’m here. Out of my comfort zone and posting about food. Uploading recipes that have turned heads and lifted plates for seconds. Because it’s not just me who needs this, it’s others. The other people who are searching for recipes online because asking family or friends will get the response “Why? Wait—YOU’RE Cooking??” Recipes don’t have to be hidden, collapsed, in a blog post, surrounded by long winded stories and explanations on how to prepare a mediocre dish. We want the sauce. We want the recipe card that we can save to our camera roll for later. We want recipes at the top of the page and background and stories at the end. And that’s what I did. I’m not running a food blog. I’m creating a recipe warehouse of good food for good people. That’s my change. That’s my growth. That’s how I’m going to transform the way we see recipes online. #recipe #foodie #homecooking #sahm #sahd #sahp #quotes #quoteoftheday #foodblogger #healthyfood #instafood https://www.instagram.com/p/CmNAx3bvtSy/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#recipe #foodie #homecooking #sahm #sahd #sahp #quotes #quoteoftheday #foodblogger #healthyfood #instafood

[wooldawn]

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims #simblr #pines legacy #odin pines #elizabeth pines #day in the life of the best sahd ;-;

[skadario]

h y p e r t u n n e l

#photography #dario barbani #lux-lit #lensblr #gray-card #photographers on tumblr #photos worth seeing #pics #photos #biutifulpics #street photography #lights #camera raw #the photographers society #foto #fotografia #night #sahdes #neon #future #colors #silence #perspective #one point perspective

[dumblemonchickenwing]

#dtr #deltarune #meme #rouxls kaard #rouxls #this was meant to be funny but the sahding made it look dark i apologize

[jessiesjaded]

X files season 9 au where Scully still helps out on cases like she does but rather than being on the run, Mulder embraced being fired in s8 and is just happily being a stay at home dad and we get cute Baby William content

#Like lets just pretend all the other plot shit isnt occuring okay #its the dogget reyes show with scully Special appearances and then sahd mulder #give me domesticity 😭 #the x files

[pollenallergie]

stay-at-home-dad!billy is my ultimate weakness. nsksbdbdbdhe he’d be such a good dad and, god, he’d show off his daughter (he’s a girl dad. i’m right and you know it) to anyone and everyone at any and every given opportunity; he’d be such a proud papa. he’d be endlessly proud and supportive of her no matter what. she poops for the first time? he’s proud. she audibly burps for the first time? he’s proud. she draws an eerily detailed picture of her school’s building going up in flames with crayons one afternoon in year 1? he’s proud… extremely concerned… but also still sort of proud because, hey, look his little girl’s an artist!

i yearn. i pine. i need him.

#dad!billy knight #sahd!billy knight #billy knight #billy knight strike #billy knight x reader

[hchollym]

I can definitely see Percy (and Ron too actually but that’s for another day) as one of the favorite of not the favorite uncle in his family. I can see all the stay at home dad hc for him working for his nieces and nephews. I can definitely imagine him wanting all the kids in his family to know that no matter what he will always be there for them.

And I can see him ending up as the main family babysitter or the one his siblings, including bill, go to for parenting advice once they get over their pride. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, out of all his siblings Percy was the one who was a parent and an older brother (and younger brother) far more than then the rest. He’s the one who blurred the lines so he would definitely know a lot by the time the first set of next gen comes around.

In response to this post.

I agree 100%.

I adore the idea of Percy being his nieces’/nephews’ favorite uncle! I definitely think he'd be the least judgmental and most accepting of their differences (given his past), so they would all feel completely comfortable with him. 🥰 I can picture him being oblivious to that though and assuming their favorite uncle would be one his brothers instead, because that poor guy’s self-esteem is in shreds. 😭

I also agree that he would end up as the main babysitter (so nothing new from his childhood 🤣), but he's happy about that now, because he loves spending time with all the kids and making sure his own children have a good relationship with their family members/cousins. 

I can see a lot of his siblings going to him for parenting advice (instead of Molly), but I'm not sure I picture Bill doing so. I don't have a super high opinion of Bill and his relationship with Percy (see this post and this post), but it would be sweet if he actually did ask him! 

Thanks for the ask! 😊

Also, feel free to talk to me about Ron too! I’m a huge Ron Weasley Defense Squad member as well. 🥰

#Ask me #Anon ask #percy weasley #percy weasley defense squad #SAHD Percy Weasley #Dad Percy Weasley #Weasley family dynamic #Hp #My thoughts #my headcanons #unpopular opinion #ron weasley defense squad

[batmanego]

prowl through empty fields, great cain

#I didntwant to sahde it. Sue me #my arts #american vampire

[ohdudedhesflirting]

My bias line make me

#I need that album #I NEED THOSE PC #I NEED DO YALL GET IT #zb1 #zerobaseone #zb1 youth in the shade #zerobaseone youth in the shade #youth in the shade #zb1 debut #zb1 debut album #zerobaseone debut #zerobaseone debut album #youth in the sahde promo pic #kim jiwoong #kim jiwoong zb1 #kim jiwoong youth in the shade #kim tae rae #kim tae rae youth in the shade #kim tae rae zb1 #seok matthew #seok matthew zb1 #seok matthew youth in the shade

[koko-mochi]

Been playing as my miqo’te U’sangho lately. She’s so soft I love her.

#ffxiv #U’sangho Sahd #miqo’te #tribal miqo’te #gpose

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Oh look I can draw the boi too!! Happiest of not really b-days to the character ever!!!

I'm dead serious when i say that he has not left my team since i got him, hes just a special little guy

#genshin impact #this was originally sopoused to have lot more detail in an attempt to be more realistic #but than i kinda left genshin in the dust for a while #lot motivation for drawing this #and today I whiped it back out from my folder #slapped a bunch of sahding and ligting layers on the flat coloring #and ta-da #is him #genshin bennett #bennett #imma do a fukin portrate of him next year #its finnally gonna be his b-day fr i gotta #me does arts #actually finished doodl

[pixel-bloom]

Jake: I know this is right for you Max. Being a business owner will give you so much flexibility, you’ll still be able to spend time with the kids. I’ll help you out property-wise, every step of the way.

Max: Yeah...yeah! I got this! This is my career--no--my dream. Let’s get that paperwork signed and off to the bank!

Jake: That’s the spirit! Okay, I’ll go grab it and we can get it done immediately.

Max: Sounds like a plan. But first, I’m going to go play with my daughter. It’s the weekend after all and I dragged her all the way out here to look at a building.

#gen 5 #max #jake #max is SUCH a good dad #i was worried about his SAHD life but he's always so positive #insecta