#sorry i went off the rails. also you can tell as you go down the descriptions when i started losing it

[enderspawn]

Has a jrwi pokemon au been thought up. I need to give this thought to my sister so she can come up w their teams for me she's very good at it but I still wanna know if it's been done before

there hasnt been one to my knowledge, BUTTTTT i did actually. come up w some jrwi teams myself a few months back or so in early july but never shared them. ill put them under a cut for Myself to brag/ramble abt my decisions and thoughts

but also anon: even if there was one pre-established, who cares, yknow? you can make your own either way, thats kinda the fun of it. god knows i love to Make AUs then do nothing w them, bc brainstorming them is the fun for me. even if someone else already did it, you can do it too!

SO. i Attempted 6 person teams for the riptide crew and im p settled w everyones But chip's (i also Attempted to make them feel around the same power level?? you can decide how successful that was)

ALSO,

1. the first pokemon listed is the person's "starter" and 2. everyone other than riptide PCs listed will have teams of 3 bc they're much easier

GILLION ---

shellos: pretzel! she's his starter and also a pikachu situation where she refuses to evolve bc shes Perfect As She Is (and she is right)

altaria: apple! blue bird :]]]]

aegislash: sword and shield for being a paladin! specifically aegislash due to it having defensive shield unlike the previous evolutions, as well as it being either high defense or kinda glass canon feeling fitting

lumineon: by god that is a Fish! thats it

malamar: "oh its a octopus is this pretzel again?" WRONG this is dugon. dark and fucked up aquatic animal time.

cubchoo: ice representation! also being a baby to show his Caring Side as well as teh fact his ice powers are still new/developing since he learned them from caspian (likely in universe got cubchoo as an egg from caspian)

JAY ---

dartrix: jay's starter! its an archer bird, plus i feel like her having an actual Starter Pokemon as a starter is like a privilege thing from her upbringing. i chose dartrix both for balance and bc i think its just a lil cuter

zorua: hey remember the zorua line's Whole Bit. damn thats weird. anyway. zorua chosen over zoroark for balance and Personal Preference man zorua is just cute okay imagine her holding it

fletchinder: represents the ferin family crest! damn those ferins sure can be fire and bird themed

kingdra: i imagine this was Given to her by the navy? like for protection, heres your Max Evolution Water Type. also, kingdra association w hierarchy and "king" and shit.

meowstic: part balancing the team, part Someone here needs the braincells (psychic type). meowstic female chosen not only bc "haha female pc" but also bc female meowstic has a more attack-based movepool where male is support based.

skarmory: Can You Tell Jay's Bird Themed Yet. also, literally made of armor to show being protective and kinda closed off for her Own Safety thing

CHIP ---

mimikyu: chip's starter. both ghost type to represent how hes Haunted but also a poor imitation of pikachu that just wants to be loved and. :)

wingull: he's a sailor man he needs a water type. but also he sucks so its a wingull. like not even a pelipper. cringe.

absol: absol is known to forewarn disasters but bc of that is often associated w Causing Disasters and bad luck and listen i just rlly like chip as my little trauma boy. also absol cool as hell.

ampharos: ampharos is known in universe to act as a lighthouse for sailors! also chip's obligatory Full Evolution to try and balance him out w the others

dhelmise: It's A Sunken Ship Ghost Anchor can i make myself clearer

nidoran: i just think chip has a think for weak little bitch ass pokemon. like i was so tempted to give him so many Shitty Bug Types or whatever. BUT, instead as compromise i gave him a little bastard stubborn baby pokemon... who also has the potential to grow into a Fucking Beast (at least in gen 1) if you give it the time to grow and stick it out.

again, chip's is the one i feel is weakest as a team, but now onto NPCs smile.

OLLIE ---

stufful: they hate him for his Normal Boy swag. also grows into MASSIVE fucking bear w even bigger strength

poliwag: baby boy. small. water type bc they're fucking pirates. (also, can evolve to be a fighting type later)

bonsly: baby boy! again! he's just baby. but like this one cries :(

OLD MAN EARL ---

tropius: haha its the Fruit Pokemon get it

relicanth: obligatory water type plus they're both Old As Shit

swadloon: fucking look at it. they're grumpy friends. they bitch to each other. swag.

GRYFFON ---

pangoro: this is just gryffon sorry.

bisharp: looks the most "bounty hunter"-y, also dark and steel fits his general Aesthetic n vibes

gliscor: actually all of his pokemon were chosen for their power and being Strong and Highly Competent

EDYN ---

mareanie: 1. it looks Like Her in color pallete, 2. its the baby form bc i specifically wanted it to be unassuming and "weak, and 3. it being poison type could be a fun twist depending on how canon goes

goodra: just a Strong fucking dragon type, i wanted the rest of her team to kinda "shock" you w hidden strong pokemon since you'd likely only see mareanie. also haha goo.

jellicent: decent strength water type + ominous ghost typing

MARSHALL JOHN ---

primeape: hes just a fighting type guy to me (i considered the timburr line), plus primeape having the broken shackles around its wrists to symbolize john breaking out of the navy

corphish: this one's like half vibes he just has a little Crab Guy okay <trust me

lairon: strong as FUCK and also tanky, plus steel type in general makes me think of navy and/or combat? it Fits

CASPIAN ---

alolan ninetails: ice type but also design just FUCKS and looks like caspian.

frogadier: this frog is cool as hell and you know it. doesn't he deserve a cool ass chill frog.

shellos: SPECIFICALLY the blue one in a parallel to gillion's shellos! tho i imagine later on it does become a gastrodon.

CAPTAIN LIZZIE ---

salazzle: s-sexy lizard. :]. ALSO bc i feel fire and poison both work as general typings for lizzie, and salazzle being female only is haha girl power

dragonair: i goof'd it in the first one, but in general i wanted a sleek cool look for her team to show how she appears effortless and cool herself.

cubone: naughty blackrose survivors get a Trauma Pokemon for their crimes. anyway remember how cubone is the orphan pokemon? also this is specifically cubone and not marowak to show like the inner child of the trauma

NIKLAUS ---

giratina: niklaus can have a universe controlling god-like being of power. as a treat. mainly i wanted him to be MEGA intimidating, such as the only one w a legendary, as well as the fact giratina (despite its terrifying appearance + power to create dimensions) is technically there to keep balance is a nice nod to how niklaus isn't inherently some Evil Force but instead a neutral party playing both sides.

mega absol: what if i was your "this pokemon causes doom and destruction" theme but Stronger.

espeon: yknow how niklaus kinda comes off as that cat-stroking monologuing villian? this is that cat.

BONUS: PRIME DEFENDERS

DAKOTA ---

hitmonlee: he be fucking KICKIN!!!!

cranidos: headstrong as hell, plus a fossil pokemon (much like bino is part dino!)

monferno: fire type time!! it just Fits Him, plus fire/fighting! i considered combusken instead, since blaziken Kicks but i went w monferno instead bc heehee Monkey (and bobo!!)

VYNCENT ---

morpeko: ignore how this site doesnt have gen 8, morpeko has a Duality feature n shifts forms! also just fuckin look at him

honedge: me when i have a sword and i Fucking Get You. first stage pokemon to represent how untrained the PD are

fraxure: if i didnt give him a dragon id die on the spot. gen 5 just Feels right, as well as a middle evolution since they're kinda the "awkward teen phase" of pokemon

WILLIAM ---

lampent: lichrally ghost fire what do you WANT FROM ME!!!

umbreon: its his emotional support dog. also dark type bc hee hee spooky and its Popular w fans just like william is w fans

abra: psychic type w potential to become very powerful, but rn can only run away or Fucking Die

ASHE ---

spiritomb: ghost spirit tied to a specific item, technically multiple spirits in one item, can be highly dangerous and malicious at times. teehee.

absol: Listen I Just Really Fucking Like Absol's Theming Okay.

alolan ninetails: similarly, this pokemon design just fucks. also i can imagine vulpix as his actual ""starter"" until he found and got stuck w spiritomb and absol started hanging out around him (/threat).

#sorry i went off the rails. also you can tell as you go down the descriptions when i started losing it #i just. hhough i love when curtains are blue okay #jrwi #og post #answered #anon #gillion tidestrider #chip #jay ferin #< theres a lot more but i wont spam the tags #just. a good handful of riptide npcs are there And the pd pcs <3 #(jeb bush voice) please clap #riptide #pd

[maopll]

Could I request Gepard, Luka, Welt, and Argenti finding their s/o's body pillow of them (the boys)?

THEM AS BODY PILLOWS

#honkai star rail !

⌗:, a/n : quick work cause I'm honestly getting so busy with this school year. we are rushing like crazy and it's only been 3 days since school started ...

⌗:, pairings : gepard (princess), luka, welt, & argenti w/ gn!reader (separately)

⌗:, note : I too would do this

— ୨ GEPARD ୧

You look sweet sleeping comfortably in your bed but why ... why do you have him as a body pillow ? Him being flustered would be an understatement. He would be pacing everywhere just seeing you hugging the face of the body pillow close to your chest and one leg hanging over his waist.

He just stares quietly at you for a moment as thoughts flood him. He was thinking that he was away for so long you had to resort to cuddling with a 'gepard pillow' instead of him and he's even more sad. Not because you made him a pillow without his consent but rather that you were so lonely.

He gently removes the pillow and replaces it with him, but taking great care in not throwing it to some corner of the room. He hold you by your waist softly yet firmly and presses a chaste kiss on your lips. He murmurs a soft 'sorry' before also drifting off to sleep with you.

"mmm... wait... Gepard? when did you come? and...Where's the pillow?..." you can find the pillow later it's time to cuddle your baby since that's what you were doing and should be doing now that he's here.

— ୨ LUKA ୧

He's squealing and jumping up and down. You look so cute ! and peaceful sleeping like that. He clicks more than ten pictures and immediately makes them his wallpaper. Oh you're too cute to resist but it's quite unfair that you are cuddling a pillow which can't cuddle you back but now that he's here you can hug 'luka' as much as you want.

"Baby! I'm here now scoot over let me cuddle with you" he looks like a golden retriever who just wants to hog their master's attention and affection all to themselves. It's not that you can actually deny him of his well deserved affection.

"Aw fine fine I'll kiss you and cuddle you, you big baby" you held his face with your hands and smooched him with kisses all over his face.

"That's not enough!" and there he goes tackling you and throwing your body onto the bed. It's gonna be a long time before he's done cuddling with you...

— ୨ WELT ୧

"If you wanted to spend time with me that much, you could have just told me" Welt chuckles as he sees you practically strangling the Welt body pillow that you have as you hold it close to yourself.

"I can't possibly disturb you when you have so may missions to go on! and... I missed you so much.."

The last few words came out as a whisper but loud enough for Welt to understand what you meant and it was true. He went to Xianzhou and then the Penacony's Family called him and the other crew members so he had basically no time to spare for even a few minutes of rest.

"I know love...sorry...I'm here now for a long time so you can spend as much time as you want with me." He pressed a kiss to your forehead and caressed your hair as he shoved the pillow slowly from you hand.

"No need to worry anymore dear... I will kiss you until you fall asleep in my arms"

— ୨ AREGNTI ୧

"Preposterous! Oh Idrila! I cannot fathom this anymore" he screams in a comical fashion.

"Chill Argenti, it's just a pillow... a pillow with your face,"

The most dramatic one because he can't understand why you would have to resort to cuddling with a non living thing when the living thing is right beside you walking, talking and breathing !

"Dearest this is a blasphemous act which a knight of beauty, especially one who is loyal to their oaths, can take! Why, why, pray tell, would you have to cuddle with a pillow?!" he falls to his knees.

You just sigh and drag him by his hand.

"Argenti, I didn't break whatever oath you are talking about and I still love you! I just wanted to make a pillow with you on it so that I wouldn't feel lonely when you're gone...to conduct your knightly duties..." you huff.

You saw how Argenti's shoulders relax and how he let out a content smile.

"Then looks like another one of my knightly duties need to be done hm?" he says so cheekily as he picks you up and carries you to cuddle with him ,"surely you can spare some time for the real deal my dove"

tagging: @fictoculus @poison-demon @mitsvriii @pianopuppygirl @sleepy-waffle

join the taglist !

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #gepard fluff #gepard x reader #hsr gepard #luka fluff #luka x reader #hsr luka #welt fluff #welt yang #welt x reader #hsr welt #argenti fluff #argenti x reader #hsr argenti

[kurogane2512]

Wait are you taking requests for hsr? Or was that other request an exception?

If you are could you do something along the lines of Hemiko having a wet dream about reader and like you dealing with said thoughts?

I saw someone write something similar but for the men and wanted your thoughts on it

I'm doing selected requests for HSR. I don't play the game so I can mischaracterize and misinterpret many things hence I'm not taking too many chances with it. I love Himeko, Cocolia and Kafka so I'm open to requests on them for sure; and I can give a try to Bronya and Seele as well so go ahead for these characters!

Also, I loved this concept so much like damn I almost squealed when I read it and I had countless ideas already flowing in <3

18+ NSFW CONTENT MDNI

Game: Honkai Star Rail

Characters: HSR Himeko x Fem!reader

Type: Smut and Fluff (Masturbation, boob play, fingering, oral, teasing, Himeko having dirty thoughts about you, slightly subby Himeko cause hnghh needy women <3)

It was early morning when the Astral Express had docked at Xianzhou Luofu, the crew being assigned different tasks to complete until boarding off. Yet, it seems the ever-bright and kind navigator was busy with something....interesting.

"Mhm....hah!~ Y/n....aahn~!"

Himeko moaned out as her fingers plunged deep into her own cunt, fingering herself to the thought of you. She had come to form a crush on you over the time you stayed with the crew and her thoughts were now going out of control whenever she'd so much as so think about you.

"Yesterday....that dream is still in my mind. It was so vivid, the way she held me, touched me....we kissed, and did so many other things. I didn't think I'd give my body to someone else that way but when it was her....I couldn't hold back. Her face, her voice, her demeanour....everything is so—Hahn!~"

She bit down on the pillow she was currently hugging, trying to conceal her sinful sounds as her hand fastened and she soon released, her juices flowing down. She breathed out and laid panting on her bed when suddenly a knock was heard on her door.

"Himeko? Are you ready yet?"

It was Welt; Himeko immediately sat up and cleared her throat to speak.

"W-Welt? What is it? Is there something you need?"

"Something I need....Himeko, we had a meeting scheduled 15 minutes ago, I'm here to call you."

Her eyes widened in shock and she looked at the time to realize she was indeed late as she had completely forgotten about the meeting while indulging into her desires. She then looked at her own messed up state and felt conflicted, she didn't want to go. She realized she'd have to see you there and she wasn't confident about it.

"I....I'm not coming; sorry, please carry on without me."

"Huh? Himeko, are you serious? Your presence is important for this meeting."

Welt continued negotiating on the door until you decided to come and check what was happening. You saw him standing outside Himeko's room and holding his head with a frustrated look on his face.

"Welt, what's the matter? Is Himeko coming?"

"Hah~ I'm tired of this, she doesn't want to come."

"Doesn't want to? What happened to her? Is she alright?"

"I have no idea....she just refuses to come and doesn't give any reason."

You became worried and pondered for some time then said, "I'll try to talk to her then, you can go back."

Welt nodded with a sigh and walked away while you went up to the door and gently knocked, "Himeko? It's me, Y/n. Are you okay?"

Himeko became extremely surprised hearing your voice and gave no reply, too embarrassed to speak to you.

"Himeko? Please talk to me. What happened? Are you ill? Shall I bring something for you?"

"....N-No, Y/n....don't bother."

"It's not a bother, Himeko. Anything you ask for is never a bother, so please tell me what's happening. I'm really worried for you."

Himeko almost became surprised at your words, "Worried for me...?"

She pondered to herself then finally formed a decision and stood up to open the door.

"Come in...."

You smiled and walked inside then she quickly shut the door and secretly locked it. You turned around at your place and looked at her with worried eyes, waiting for her to speak.

"Himeko? What's the matter?"

Himeko struggled to speak, unsure of saying her true thoughts to you as she wasn't sure what you thought of her.

"H-Have a seat first, Y/n."

You nodded then sat on the sofa nearby and she too sat down beside you, keeping little distance. She was still reluctant to speak hence you kept your hand on top of hers and gently rubbed it, catching her off guard.

"You don't have to be afraid to tell me, Himeko. I'll listen to all your feelings and won't ever judge you. Please know I'm always here for you."

Your words struck at her heart strings, making her face turn as red as her own hair. She looked at you and melted at your soft and worried expression; the fact that you were willing to do so much for her. Her body acted before she could speak and she leaned forward to place her lips on yours.

Your eyes widened at the feeling yet you didn't pull away at all; in anything, you shifted closer and wrapped your arms around her and held her tightly. She moaned slightly and held your shoulders to push you down and straddle your lap while still locked into the kiss, tongues interlocking in a passionate manner before she pulled away to breathe.

"It's all your fault, Y/n...."

"W-What do you mean....?"

"You made me this way! I didn't want to face you that's why I wasn't coming!"

"Huh?! But—"

You couldn't continue as she grabbed your hand and guided it towards her boobs for you to cup, your face becoming equally flushed now.

"I like you, Y/n....I have been wanting this for so long. So, take responsibility now...."

Your heart skipped a beat at her needy tone and expression, you could feel her soft boob envelop your palm and you suddenly realised she wasn't wearing a bra.

"....I like you too, Himeko. I also desire to touch you this way...."

Himeko was caught by surprise but couldn't be happier at this moment, she smiled then leaned down and connected your lips together again to initiate a deep heated kiss. It was much more intense than before; you roughly moved your lips against hers but she devoured you first. Your hands slid down to grab her waist when suddenly your phone vibrated in your pocket causing both of you to stop your movements as you took out your phone to see.

"Oh dammit, it's Welt. He must be asking what's taking so long...."

You sighed and answered the phone to speak to Welt while Himeko waited but truthfully, she didn't want to stop. She pouted as you focused all your attention on the phone call then her patience ran out and she moved towards your neck and licked it before gently biting down, a gasp leaving your mouth.

"Hm? What is it, Y/n? Did something happen?" Welt spoke from the other end as he fainty heard the noise.

"H-Himeko, what are you—?!" you whispered while covering the phone speaker.

"You are ignoring me, Y/n. I don't like that."

She spoke against your neck and bit down again, making you moan out.

"S-Sorry, Welt! We...won't...mhm....we won't be able to come! Carry on without us!"

"What?! Wait a minute—!"

You cut off before he finished and threw your phone on the table then held onto Himeko as you sat up, her arms locked around your neck as you continued with another passionate make-out session. Your moans were drowned by each other, you fondled and kneaded her boobs together as you kissed then you parted for a moment to breathe out while gazing at each other.

"Himeko....earlier you said you wanted to do for a while then does that mean you had some particular thoughts on this?"

"W-Why should I tell you that?!"

You chuckled, "Because I want to touch you exactly how you imagined."

Himeko's face flushed at your words, she contemplated for a while then looked at you with a desperate look.

"....I mostly imagined doing things to you but sometimes, I'd want you to...."

She trailed off and looked away embarrassingly, you smirked then went closer and hugged her by keeping your head between her boobs and gazing up at her.

"Want me to?~"

You teased making her blush further; oh, how adorable she looked at this moment. She gritted her teeth then swiftly held your right hand and placed it under her cunt, you couldn't react in any manner as she quickly pushed your fingers into her folds and loudly moaned out at the penetration.

"Himeko?!"

You exclaimed while she breathed out and stabilized herself, she then gripped your shoulders and began rubbing herself on your lap while softly moaning out. You blushed up to your ears at her action and held onto her waist with one hand while kneading her boob with the other, pinching her hardened nipple.

"T-This....this is what I wanted....aahn!~"

She wrapped her arms around your head and held you closely as she began thrusting up and down now, taking your fingers in deeply up to her sensitive spots. You licked and sucked her nipple, scissoring your fingers inside her to find her sensitive spots. She moaned out louder at each thrust, voice echoing in the room before you placed her down with a push.

"Just relax, I'll do it." you smiled and she nodded with a blush then hugged you tightly as you continued fingering her.

"You are already so wet, Himeko. Were you doing something before?" you whispered in her ear, she bit her lower lip and lightly gripped your hair.

"F-Fine, I was! I was touching myself thinking of you!" she declared in one-go, probably too embarrassed to admit so she wanted to be done with it. You smiled to yourself then suddenly stopped your movements, making her whine at the loss of pleasure.

"Give me a moment."

She nodded then you shifted down towards her legs, spreading them open and gazing at her throbbing wet core.

"Y-Y/n, hurry up...." Himeko requested and you quickly spread her legs further then licked her clit, making her gasp out and arch up in ecstasy. Her hands immediately went to grip your hair and pull you further in, your mouth completely attached to her cunt.

You picked up her legs to place them on your shoulder as you began licking her folds now before penetrating with your tongue and licking inside. You scissored and thrusted, she gripped your hair tighter at each movement you did then you felt her grind against your mouth soon enough, her thighs sandwiching your head.

"Y/n....Aaaah~ Y/n....s-oh good! Aaah...haahhnn!!~"

Her voice became uncontrollable, she had given up all sense of restraint and overtaken by pleasure. You rubbed her clit with your thumb as you continued eating her out, her taste and scent engulfed all your senses and you too felt euphoric just like her. She moaned out the loudest when she finally came, releasing her sweet juices that you drank up before licking her clean.

"Was that satisfactory, Himeko?~"

She panted out then chuckled before pulling you up and hugging you affectionately, your head lying on her soft bosom as she placed a kiss on top of your head.

"For now, yes. I will only be fully satisfied once I hear you scream my name in pleasure~"

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail smut #himeko x reader #hsr himeko #hsr smut #hsr himeko x reader #hsr

[beestalesofarcadia]

Could I request some reactions from Draal, Blinky and Aargh on a teen human(gender neutral reader pls!) Who has the same personality as Marcy from Amphibia, showing them a bunch of video games they love please? Especially some being more gruesome then others, would love to read it! :D

Heck yeah dude!! I absolutely love Marcy <3 BTW this started off simple but I went off the rails completely lmao so sorry about that TwT

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You are a close friend of Jim and Toby, having grown up with them on the same block. You became a trio: inseparable. You were with Jim as he picked up the amulet, you were running beside Toby as Bular hunted you three down, and you were beside the two as you graced the grounds of Trollmarket. Your mind is completely blown by it. You were already off running around: taking notes in your math notebook of what you saw, the types of trolls that were around, facts Blinky spewed out, and even that big blue grumpy one that threatened Jim in front of you!

While your intellect proves to be insightful on the battlefield, your clumsiness also poses a potential threat to yourself and others. Regardless, you’re a valued member of the Trollhunters and have garnered respect from most of Trollmarket (and even Vendel himself). You have helped countless times, and even put your life on the line for others. Now… here are the thoughts of some specific residents of Trollmarket! >:]

Draal

Before the duel with Jim, your optimism confuses him, if not annoys him. He legit just threatened to kill your best friend, and all you can do is stare at him with stars in your eyes. Great to have admirers, he supposes. Even if they are some imposter, wannabe Trollhunter’s ally. As you walk away with the group, he can’t help but guffaw as you trip over your feet. If these were the Trollhunter’s allies- the supposed saviors of man and trollkind- then the world truly was doomed.

After getting humbled by Jim, his attitude begins to shift more. Yes, there are moments of annoyance (especially when you ask to measure his horns or teeth and ramble about things he doesn’t understand), but overall you’re strange, and it’s amusing. You are easily impressed by nearby anything he does, and that’s fine. It’ll start to fuel his ego again.

You start to hang around Jim’s more often than not and Draal enjoys having you around. The majority of the time you’re taking notes, and when you’re not, you’re geeking out about some vampire books and other fixations. He tells you he’s met a few, and when you ask if they’re anything like in the shows you watch (attractive, seductive), he hits you with a hard “no” and laughs at your disappointment. Human’s obsession with vampires was so strange.

Draal teases you a lot, and even if it’s mean-spirited you just go along with it the majority of the time. If you do mention something, he’ll back down from it. But it doesn’t stop him from occasionally knocking that new novel you got from the library out of your hand.

Video games are rather confusing to him. Not that he hates them of course! But he doesn’t quite enjoy them as much as Arrrgh does. Of course, he’ll play the more violent games you have, but he doesn’t care for the shooters. He’d much rather tear them apart with his bare hands, thank you very much. There was one time when you had to beg Draal to not destroy your TV the first time you introduced him to Skyrim.

Table-top games on the other hand? Absolutely! He loves playing DnD with you. He likes having more interaction and freedom with the choices he makes when compared to video games where you have to follow the plot. Blinky or Toby often narrates when you have game nights with the group. Out of everyone, you and Draal are the most competitive. You two both get into character and often come up with strategies. Sometimes a little too much for everyone’s liking. The table often gets crushed, and there have been times when you both were at each other’s throats. 

You’re now his little sibling. No questions asked. You jokingly mention something along the lines of a “found-family” trope, and after a brief explanation of it, he just subtly agrees with that being your relationship with him. Prepare for a protective big brother, even if you know your way around trouble. 

Arrrgh

You both are automatically besties. That’s it, I don’t make the rules. There’s no doubt about it that you’re all over him when you first get to meet Arrrgh. While Jim is stressed about trolls in his home and Toby is freaking out, you’re bombarding the giant, green ball of moss with millions of questions. He thinks it's adorable and while slightly overwhelmed, he doesn’t mind responding to them. His answers are short and vague though, and Blinky ends up intervening and answers with more detail. 

It honestly doesn’t take a lot for him to grow attached to you. He finds your energy very endearing, and you manage to light up the room with it even during the most hopeless times. You surprisingly don’t get as overwhelmed compared to everyone else in the group, though it doesn’t stop Arrrgh from checking up on you. You might wanna write down how much of a good comfort buddy he is.

Speaking of which! If you are down, he won’t hesitate to do what he can to comfort you. If you need to vent, he is all ears. He isn’t much of a talker, but by God, he is a good listener. His advice is short and simple: usually straight to the point. Regardless, it doesn’t undermine how sweet and thoughtful his words are. Most of the time you talk about how overwhelming your parents are, and often he assures you that only wants the best for you but doesn’t know how to show it. A part of you thinks otherwise, but you know that they do mean well. 

When you visit Toby’s house, the three of you have movie nights. A pillow fort is made in Toby’s room and you both bring all the movies you can. There’s finally the night when you manage to convince the two (mainly Toby) to binge-watch Twilight. You get so giddy it was hard not to laugh at your reaction for Arrrgh. He doesn’t understand the plot, but he’s interested in it. As much as Toby wanted to hate it, he couldn’t help but rant about Bella’s decisions with you and listening how she could’ve bettered herself. Arrrgh just nods, having been seated between the two of you and not able to escape the conversation. 

This troll is pretty protective of you. You’re very capable of yourself, there’s no doubt about it. But again, your clumsiness is what gets you into trouble the majority of the time. There have been instances where you indirectly killed a goblin leader. Taking them head-on during their frenzied state is near impossible, but for Arrrgh, he’s more than willing to take it as a means of defending you. Thankfully, you are pretty witty, so you do find ways to drive them away from you.

As seen in the show, Arrrgh does love video games! You have a considerable amount of video games, ranging from violent ones like Mortal Combat to non-violent ones like Animal Crossing (one of Arrrgh’s favs). Knowing his past, you tend to stray away from the more mature games and settle for the “kiddie” stuff. Arrrgh loves Cooking Mama and Little Friends. Just remind him to be gentle with your switch- sometimes he forgets his strength.

Blinky:

Blinky would not hesitate to admit it, but it’s nice having someone who shares the same enthusiasm as he does! Especially when it comes to learning. While the troll cares deeply for Jim, he can admit that when it comes to their lessons, his less than enthusiastic attitude towards it can be drab. If not, a bit discouraging. With you, however, it’s a complete 180. He always sees you taking notes, commenting on their cultures with genuine intellect, and your analysis is always endearing to listen to. Although you still have much to learn, you are on the right track.

Besides that, you’re always a delight to be around with! He can’t help but admire your charming nature, even if at times you are ditzy. He knows you always mean well, so he can’t hold it against you. He’s most definitely “Marcy-proofed” his library; AKA, he’s put his more “delicate” items in safer places, and the potentially dangerous ones are hidden away.

While Blinky teaches you all the ropes of troll culture, you return the favor by explaining human culture to him. It’s honestly a mix of easy, and difficult. It’s not that Blinky’s dumb (no, far from that actually) or that you’re a bad teacher, it’s just the fact that he’s misinterpreted human customs and inventions for so many years. 

When he turns human, you are most definitely the one teaching him how to drive… which was, all in all, a terrible idea. You knew how to drive. You had just gotten your permit for Pete’s sake! Blinky on the other hand? He’s a wild rider. You lost track of how many times you both almost crashed into a divider just because he assumed you were able to drive on it, or how many times you prayed he wouldn’t take the yellow light. When he finally stopped driving, you insisted you could both walk home.

Video games aren't his forte. The concept of them is interesting, especially with how much they are able to fit into a small disk! But alas, they are but treats to the normal troll. Although it doesn't stop him from being interested in what you have to show. The gruesome games intrigue him. Do humans really like violence that much? It doesn't really shock him that much. They haven't changed much even after centuries, have they?

Like Arrrgh, he’s a good listener. His advice is genuine too, especially when you run away to Trollmarket when things aren’t going well at home. You’ve come there an alarming amount of times to a point the conditions of your home were concerning him. Especially when you break in front of him, wailing about the pressures and stress you feel from your parents and the potential of moving out of Arcadia. At home, you feel unloved if you don’t achieve your parents' goals. They have given you so much, yet you feel you give so little in return. You love your parents, but being with them is draining.

Although Troll's culture is different when it comes to humans, he knows the burdens of expectations are all the same. That pressure of knowing that your best isn’t enough… he’s felt that. He assures you that you are doing your best, more than others could. He assures you that your tears are not a sign of weakness, but a glimpse of your strength. He assures you that you are enough. It surprises him when you suddenly hug him, though it doesn’t stop him from embracing you as well.

#trollhunters x reader #trollhunters #tales of arcadia #blinky #draal #arrrgh #platonic #blinky x reader #draal x reader #arrrgh x reader

[dilflover-4ever]

"Do you want to kiss as badly as I do right now?" b.k.

Summary: When a late night with bill sparks tension and reveals feelings

-"y/n" not used

-based with 2006-07 Bill but you can imagine whatever😙

Tried my best🫶🤞

Rolling over I check the time on the hotel's alarm clock. "Ugh" I groaned out as it read '1:37am'. I couldn't sleep, I kept thinking and stressing. We have all been so stressed with the start of this new tour, it seemed like there was something wrong with every show. The first show my mic just decided to not work and for the first two songs I had to share with Bill, which was so difficult. The second show, Tom's guitar was left at the other hotel, luckily he had a spare for the show. These weren't show-ruining problems but it just seemed as if we had bad luck. With the next show in two days, I couldn't seem to fall asleep. I sat up in bed and decided I needed to relax so I headed towards the hotel room balcony for a smoke.

I like having my own hotel rooms on tour because, even though I love my bandmates I need time to myself, it did get lonely sometimes, especially on nights like these when I couldn't stop my mind from wandering. This hotel was super nice and fancy. Even though my room was a single, I had plenty of space (for the three nights we were here). We also each had our own rooms, me being in between Georg and Bill with Tom on the other side of Bill and Gustav across the hall. On the balcony I pulled out my lighter and lit my cigarette, crossing my arms over my tank top. Damn it, I should've packed a sweater. I leaned over the railing looking down on the very alive city. I wondered if these people ever slept, it seemed like nobody in this city does.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw smoke coming from the balcony to my right. Bill! I thought, putting out my cigarette and turning on my heel to walk back into my room. Slipping on my shoes I grabbed my lighter and room key, walking out the door. I knocked on Bill's door lightly, looking down the hall. After a minute I knocked again, guessing he couldn't hear. After just a second, the door swung open to reveal Bill, no make up and no shirt. He just stood there for a second, almost lost in thought so I cocked my head and asked, "So can I come in?" He snapped back to reality and smiled with a small breathy laugh saying, "Oh yeah of course, sorry" while stepping back, giving me room to walk in. I heard the door shut behind me and turned around to see Bill with a confused look on his face. Aw he looks so cute- I did not just think that, uh ok anyways. "What are you doing still awake? You need to be getting rest." He asked, the same concerned look etched on his face. "I couldn't sleep, I've been thinking so much about anything that could go wrong at our next show, so I went to the balcony to smoke real quick. Then I saw that you were awake and came over here." I summed up, letting out a breath after that mouthful.

He nodded his head walking towards his small couch, looking back at me over his shoulder, motioning for me to follow him. He sat down in the corner with one leg up, resting his chin on his knee. I sat down across from him, on the other side, taking my shoes off and pulling both of my knees up under my chin. "Also, you can't be telling me I need rest when you're still awake too!" I add, with a small smile on my face. I expect him to at least let out a little laugh but he just kept his face down, drumming his fingers on his other hand. Maybe I upset him? Or intruded by coming over unannounced, it won't hurt to ask.

"Hey Bill I'm sorry, did I upset you?" I ask with real concern lacing my words. His head shoots up as he repeatedly denies my assumption. "No, no, no, no, no, trust me you didn't upset me. I was just thinking about how I haven't been able to sleep either. Not just because of the tour but i've also just had some other things on my mind." He says, eyes finally meet mine when he says that last part. I get up and go sit next to him, leaning over him on my knees, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I feel his arms wrap around my torso pulling me tight to his front. "Aw Bill I'm sorry I know how hard that is. Do you wanna talk about what's been on your mind?" I say into his shoulder, letting go and sitting back, but still close to him. He almost chokes? when I ask that, eyes going wide as he covers it up with a cough. Weird, I thought.

"Um well I don't really know yet. I'd have to gather my thoughts first." He gives me a small reassuring smile while nodding his head. "Yeah I know what you mean." I say trying to mask my confusion. "But we can talk about other stuff!" He exclaims. I laugh and nod my head, smiling at him.

We talk about the most random stuff for at least an hour, laughing at old memories and cringing on old embarrassing moments. It was really great, Bill has always been super easy to talk to. I am closest with him in the band, for so many reasons, he is my best friend and I love him so much! As a friend only.......I think. Throughout our conversation tonight something in the air is different, whether it's Bill looking into my eyes while I talk about anything, or just the tension. It's thicker and has meaning, unknown to either of us. I know that he feels it too because he's been getting me closer this whole time. At first he just held my hands and played with my fingers while we talked, now i'm full on pressed up against his side, his arm around my body that is curled into him, my head on his chest. Our conversation has shifted now instead of goofy talking, we've been getting more serious, opening up about things that we hadn't even told each other.

I want him to know I fully trust him, i'm gonna bring up "Did you know my dad never really loved me?" I asked Bill, "I don't know if i've told you about it before, but he said it to my face all the time when I was little, before he left." I added. I felt him shake his head above me. "No you;ve never brought it up, that's awful." He said with a soft voice. "I just wanted you to know, it was a big part of my life. Also you're the only one that knows about it so please don't bring it up to the others." I told him. "Thank you for trusting me and of course I'll keep my mouth shut about it." He gave me a reassuring squeeze. "I really do trust you, you're my favorite person, besides Tom of course." Bill says to me. I was stunned, I felt something new and burning inside of me, I knew what it was. I loved Bill. I looked up at his face. He looked down at mine and we looked at each other. After a minute or two, it's like our faces naturally gravitated towards one another because pretty soon we were basically inhaling each others breaths.

"Do you want to kiss as badly as I do right now?" Bill questioned, speaking at a low whisper. I nodded my head and threaded my fingers through his hair, leaning up to finally meet his lips. The kiss was long and slow. Months of pent up, hidden feelings going into our kiss. That kiss proved a point, the point being me and Bill loved each other. Once we pulled apart I looked into Bill's eyes. It was a second until he spoke up, "I haven't been sleeping because i've spent so many nights thinking about you." That literally made me melt, my lip pouted out a little before i smiled and said the words i've been thinking, "I love you so much Bill", "I love you too" He repeated.

Finally me and Bill got a good night's rest, laying with each other, a new found love surrounding us.

Edit: hey y’all also this is literally my second time writing anything sooooo hope y’all didn’t expect author level writing

#bill kaulitz #bill kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel #love #kiss #tokio hotel band

[back2bluesidex]

I came solemnly to make my request: can we have a pjm fic where he just cheated on you and then you confront him and he realized he made the biggest mistake of his life 🙊

Wildest Dreams - JM

Pairing: Jimin X Reader

Theme: Angst, breakup au

Song: Wildest Dreams

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Infidelity, cheating, break up.

A/N: anon didn't mention a song (probably because it's a random request) so I added the most suitable one. Also thank you so much for this request and I hope you like it.

“Baby.. I missed you.” Jimin preps your shoulder and neck with small kisses. His hands are wrapping up around your waist from behind. His lithe body presses onto your numb one. 

Surprisingly, you don’t feel anything. You are neither melting down for his touch, his kisses nor do you feel angry enough to push him on the hard cold floor to walk out of this apartment, you once called home, walk out of his life. You are, again, just numb. 

But what is ticking you off badly right now, are Jimin's words. He missed you? He missed you all along the time he was lying to you? While he told you he was on a business trip only for you to find out he was on a vacation with another woman? He missed you while he fucked her in a luxurious hotel bed? Funny! He is certainly mocking you. He is mocking your feelings, the time you had together and the engagement rings that sit on both of your ring fingers. 

“Are you sure that you missed me?” you hold on the balcony railing goes tighter. 

Jimin detaches his head from your neck and brings it sideways to partially face you. You can see him smirking from your peripheral vision. 

“Do you doubt me baby? Hmm?” he presses a kiss on your left cheek. 

“I kept on thinking of you… during all the meetings, all the team dinners, while having drinks. They had the lemon flavored gin that you love so much.” 

You chuckle dryly, “Really? Then did you think of me when you fucked that woman naming Sara on your hotel bed?” 

You finally face Jimin for the first time since he arrived. You see his eyes going wide, hands starting to tremble, face starting to fall, voice starting to lose. 

“What happened, Jimin? Did you miss me while fucking her or not?” you press on more. You didn’t know you could sound this sarcastic. 

“Y/N…” Jimin somehow manages to make his voice audible enough to your ears. And even that ticks you off badly now. 

“What? How do I know? That’s what you wanna ask? Then let me tell you, Park Jimin. I have known your whereabouts for an exact of three months and seven days now. All these times I have been silently praying for you to realize your mistake. For you to confess your sins to me. All these times I have been giving you one last chance. But guess what? I was a fool! I was a fool to believe you will regret your choice. I was a fool-” you choke on your saliva and then you realize you have been crying, tears are making a mess on your face, “I was a fool to believe you have ever loved me. I was a fool to believe that I have changed you.” 

Jimin feels as if his eyes are losing sight. An enormously giant cloud is hovering above his head and taking away all the sunshine he has ever had. Now all he sees is darkness. 

He gapes for words but what can he even say when he is the one at fault? 

He doesn’t know where everything went wrong. He doesn’t know how one drunken mistake turned into a repeated willing sin. But what he does know is that he loves you. And he is realizing that again right when he is about to lose you… forever. 

“You could have told me once. You could have told me that you don’t want me anymore, I would have walked away right then. Did you really have to break my trust and go behind my back, Jimin? Did you really have to do that?” You spat your words at his face, grabbing his shirt harshly. 

He desperately tries to hold your face and wipe your tears but you shove his hands away as if his touches burn. 

“Y/N.. I- I am sorry. I am a bad person. I should have never-” 

“Please keep your half-assed apology to yourself when you don’t even mean it.” you scoff at him, violently rubbing your tears away with the sleeve of your cardigan. 

“No. I mean it. I- please Y/N. I will make everything alright. Please-” Jimin’s face now matches yours, all teary and messy. 

“Make everything alright?” an unintended scoff leaves from your throat, “can you make things right for all the times you eyed every other woman while I was right beside you? Can you make things right for all nights I waited for you while you had extra workload? Will you be able to make things right for the times when you shamelessly flirted with my friends even?” your voice trembles, “can you make things right for all the times you have taken me for granted? Tell me Jimin.. Can you?” 

Jimin doesn’t say anything. He stares at you through his tear-blurred vision wishing for the ground to split into half and swallow him. 

“Not everything can be alright.” You say as you bring both of your hands together in order to pluck out your engagement ring from your ring finger. 

As soon as Jimin understands what you are going to do, he grabs both of your hands with his. His grip is so tight that it makes you hiss.

Within an instant, Jimin sinks down on his knees and breaks into a loud sob. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately), the scene doesn’t bother you a bit. 

“Please Y/N! No. I beg you, don’t do this! I will be better. I will be the best. I won’t give you any chance to complain anymore. Just don’t do this. We promised each other forever, didn’t we?” 

“I thought so.” you reply with a small voice as you look away from his trembling figure. “I thought we promised forever… even though I know…” you pause inhaling a lot of oxygen,

“Nothing lasts forever. But this…”  you point at the ring with your eyes, “This is gonna take me down.”   

“Y/N-”

“And I can’t let that happen, Jimin. Not anymore.” These are your last words before you pull the ring out of your finger despite his strong grip.

“It’s over.” and you turn to walk away. 

Jimin is swift as he stands on his feet, grabs you by your arm and pulls you into his embrace. 

“Please Y/N! I can’t live without you.” 

“Yes you can, Jimin. You have lived all these times without me, tangled in other women’s beds, night after night. Live just like this from now on as well. Just say you’ll remember me, standing here on this balcony, wearing that lilac dress you brought me for our engagement day. Say that you will remember us, promising each other forever while exchanging rings.” and you tiptoe, reach Jimin’s height, place your lips on his forehead. He holds you close for one last time, cries on your shoulder as you two approach an inevitable end of your relationship.   

#bts angst #jimin angst #bts x reader #jimin x reader #bts fanfiction #bts jimin #jimin fanfic #drabble request

[koolades-world]

OK OMG this is so fun so sorry for the long wait, also taking inspo from honkai star rail's heliobi which are basically little fire guys that take a host and feed off their emotions and uses their deepest desire against them which either kills them directly, or drives them insane! fun right?

part one can be found here if you haven't read it or want to reread it haha

dance of the haunted (part two)

Instead of running home, Satan began to run towards the Demon Lord's palace. He still wasn't sure what Lucifer could want, but he thinks it would be wisest to get Diavolo and Barbatos first. He quickly barged in the front door without knocking. Little D's crowded around him, asking what was wrong. He ignored them.

"Barbatos! We need to talk!" He yelled out. Like magic, Barbatos was behind him, a hand on his shoulder.

"What's the matter? No need to yell." He tried to quiet down the disturbed demon.

"I think Lucifer might want to harm Mc over this journal I found. I found it one time at a bookstore and it was Lilith's and it spoke to me as her and I don't really know if it was her and..." Satan began to ramble, spilling out everything at once.

"Lucifer wanting to harm Mc? That seems out of character for him. Are you sure?" Barbatos hushed Satan again.

"I think. He called me asking me to bring Mc home with me, when the matters of this journal don't concern them at all. That journal gave me negative feelings overall and it makes me wonder if it asked for them specifically. I apologize for the lack of detail and how unclear this all is, but I just don't know." Satan confessed.

"Alright. I understand. I will go with you to check this out." Barbatos agreeded.

"Let's get Lord Diavolo too. He might be able to help." Satan sucked in a deep breath to calm himself down a little more.

"As you wish. I'll fetch the young master. Please wait here." Barbatos began to walk away. Satan turned away to pay attention to the chattering, worried Little D's and when he turned back, Barbatos had simply disappeared. He tried to consul them, telling them that everything was going to be alright, but he couldn't even convince himself of that. At some point, Barbatos returned with Diavolo. Satan quickly ran through the story one last time for Diavolo, who seemed the most worried. Together they made their way to the House of Lamentation. They passed Purgatory Hall on the way there. They saw one light on in the kitchen with a shadow passing in front of it. Satan didn't know who it was, but he hoped they would remain safe. Satan dreaded arriving at the place he called home. He wasn't ready. But, did he really have a choice?

As soon he arrived, he decided to make their presence known. He slammed the door open. "I'm here, just as you requested, dearest brother." Satan snarled. A soft buzzing overhead could be heard overhead.

"And where is Mc?" Lucifer was standing with his arms crossed between the double staircases, just like he had predicted. He was in his demon form. His wings rustled, agitated.

“That’s none of your business.” He curtly answered. Barbatos stood behind him silently, while Diavolo started at Lucifer intently. "Where's the journal? I'm not here to mess around."

"How dare you hide something like that from me? Did you steal this?" Lucifer held the book in front of him, clutching it tightly.

"I found it at a bookstore and bought it. Why does it matter?" Satan was already frustrated. He let out a sharp breath of air from his nose.

"Because this is one of the few thing I managed to recover from the Celestial Realm. It went missing a while back and after finding this in your room I can only assume you are responsible." Lucifer pointed an accusatory finger at Satan.

"Don't you think you would have found it sooner? This is pointless. What do you even want?" Satan's tail lashed about behind him. He had transformed at some point. Barbatos opened his mouth, but paused as they heard a thump behind them. They turned around to see Beel with the sternest expression on his face Satan had ever seen. His arms were crossed and he started at them with dead, unreadable eyes.

"Lucifer, what is all this about? You know you can always talk to me, right?" Diavolo spoke up.

"You have no part in this conversation. You couldn't bring Lilith back to me. Nothing that comes out of your mouth matters anymore, Diavolo." Lucifer snapped back. Satan froze for a moment. He had never heard Lucifer address Lord Diavolo with such animosity. Diavolo paused too.

"That's absolutely no way to speak to your Prince, Lucifer." The tension in the room could have been cut with a knife. The way Diavolo spat out Lucifer's name was something Satan never thought he would hear, no less see them on separate sides of anything this serious. "You of all demons would know I did everything in my power to resolve the situation as best as possible. If I had done what you initially asked, we would have risked war with the Celestial Realm." Diavolo sighed, malice growing in his usually kind features.

"You took advantage of me. I knew what I was getting into but it wasn't clear that by save her, you would rip her away from me. Now, we can be together again, no thanks to you lousy idiots." Lucifer held the book out in front of him.

"Lucifer, what are you talking about?" Satan watched as Lucifer opened the green journal. A mysterious wind whipped up the pages and opened it to a specific page. A tiny woman popped out, sitting on the edge of the book. As she jumped off of it and onto the ground, she grew into a more normal size. She was beautiful, and eerily reminded Satan of Mc in a few ways he couldn't place. Looking into her eyes was just like looking into Mc's. However, instead of appearing fully fleshed out, she was opaque and flickered in and out of existence. Her hands passed though anything she touched. Her smile would have lit up the room if it didn't seem so empty. That had to be what Lucifer thought was Lilith. Based on the reactions of Diavolo and Barbatos, his fear was confirmed.

"Hello Luci!" She threw her arms around his middle. "I've missed you." Lucifer smiled a smile Satan had never seen before, something that was clearly reserved for Lilith. But, he knew that couldn't be Lilith. She had died so long ago. This wasn't his brother's sister. Like moths to a flame, his brothers began to appear, like they sensed her arrival.

“Lilith!” Asmo flung himself at her after basically leaping off the top of the staircase. Beel stepped out from behind them and stared in awe.

“It’s good to have you back.” Lucifer told her. Satan could’ve believe his eyes. Didn’t he see what Satan saw?

“I recognize those two. Prince Diavolo and his beloved attendant, Barbatos. It’s an honor to meet you.” She bowed, making Diavolo’s eye tick. “But I don’t recognize you. You must be Satan. Luci, you really should be thanking him. He freed me. He showed me that there was more than that book.” Lilith stepped into the middle of the room and reached a hand out. Satan stepped back. Lilith grimaced and stepped back to Lucifer. He put his arm around her shoulder. “Where Mc? I’ve heard so much about them and are dying to meet them.” Lilith looked around the room again.

"You can't be serious." Satan immediately knew that wasn't Lilith. The real Lilith was not only dead, but had some inkling of who Mc was, according to what they had told him.

"How dare you disrespect her like that!" Lucifer raised his arm to point, but Lilith lowered it for him.

"Pointing is rude. Maybe he doesn't believe I'm actually here. Ask me anything, my dear brother, that might make you believe me. How about your past with Mc, hmm?" She spoke with a sickly sweet tone that lured his brothers in successfully. He began to sweat, and briefly glanced at Barbatos and Diavolo. Barbatos was studying Lilith with an intesity he rarely saw. Diavolo met his eyes and nodded at him, as if to signal him to move forward with the plan he thought Satan might have.

But he didn't. He wracked his brain for a question good enough to ask that she also wouldn't know the answer to. Something small would sound stupid and probably be rejected. Suddenly the perfect question hit him like a sack of bricks.

A smile grew on his face. "This should be an easy one. This question is for Lilith, and Lilith only. Has Mc ever died?" It was so simple it was nauseating, but he knew she would not be able to answer it. The real Lilith knew about the moment her brother murdered Mc, but the fake did not. He hadn't told her when they first met, and since her brothers thought she was the real deal, they hadn't bothered to ask.

"Of course not! How else would they be here with us today? That reminds me, are they on their way? I'm just dying to meet them." The room froze at her casual response. A look of horror began to dawn on her brothers faces. Belphie seemed the most stunned.

"Lils?" Belphie quietly addressed her.

"Yes?" She turned to face her brother. Belphie opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again, at a loss for words. The faux Lilith scanned everyone's faces, realizing she had said something very wrong. Before she could address her mistake, the doors slammed open behind them.

It was Satan's turn to become horrified. Behind him stood Mc, Solomon, and Simeon. Mc looked weak, and every pact mark except his own was glowing brightly. Solomon also looked slightly drained, a slight pink glow emitting from underneath his shirt. More than anything, they both look distressed, as if they knew something was wrong with the demons they had a pact with.

"Satan! What's going on?" They stumbled in, a hand on their head.

"What are you doing here?" Satan lunged forward to catch them before they fell.

"Something is wrong. Everything burns. What aren't you telling me?" Mc groaned. He held them against himself, cradling them.

"I'm sorry, but now's not the time to explain. Just hang in there, ok? You're going to be alright." As he spoke, Mc began to visibly deteriorate in condition. Their body was wracked with tremors, trying their best to focus in on Satan's face. They placed their shaky hands on his face in an attempt to steady themselves and to retain focus on him. Solomon made retching noises and doubled over, holding his side. Satan had never seen the sorcerer react in such a way to anything.

"It's that book. You may have already realized, but that is not Lilith. It's merely a copy of her based on her memories." Barbatos spoke up and pointed an accusatory finger at the fake Lilith. A look of rage crossed her face.

"After all my hard work, all it took to unravel my illusion was a Lucifer ripoff? Ugh. Whatever, I'm almost ready anyways." She grabbed the book out of Lucifer's hand and held it to her chest. She was solid enough to touch things in the real world now. Like dominoes, the six brothers standing next to her collapsed, causing Mc and Solomon to worsen. Solomon fell onto all fours. Mc desperately looked into Satan's eyes, their grip slackening. Both of them were gasping for breath.

"Barbatos, what's wrong with them?" Simeon hoisted Solomon off the ground, lifting him like a feather. A quick look at his side where he had been grabbing showed that Asmo's pact mark had begun to dim. He searched Barabatos' eyes pleadingly.

"If I'm right about the creature we're dealing with, Solomon and Mc are indirectly having their souls drained due to their link with the brothers. Their strong emotions over being reunited with their sister allowed the creature to access their soul and in turn, the human's they're linked with. The brothers were alright for much longer due to the power imbalance. Solomon and Mc are merely humans. Solomon has so many pacts so his soul is divided, leading to 'cracks' and more weaknesses, so to say, and Mc is having most of their soul siphoned out. However, If a more powerful being, for example, Satan and I, were to channel power into them, it would sustain them temporarily, like setting up a barrier between the force and their soul." Barbatos took Solomon from Simeon and concentrated on his pact mark. It started to glow brightly, and caused Solomon to stir.

Satan wasn't sure when Solomon had shut his eyes. He was busy focusing on Mc. Their pact marks began to dim, their eyes beginning to also flutter shut for longer and longer between each blink. He didn't have to be told twice to concentrate all his being into channeling power into Mc. His pact mark began to glow brighter than he had ever seen it before.

"Young Master, Simeon. Destroy that book. We cannot keep this up for a prolonged amount of time. All of the energy we funnel into Solomon and Mc is effectively being taken by the false Lilith. We can only sustain until that book is taken care of." Barbatos looked at the two entities gathered around them. Faux Lilith was more focused on the fallen brothers than what was happening across from her.

"We won't let you down." Diavolo wasted no time charging her, sending flames that sprouted from his palms at her. They licked the book and singed her clothes. There was a noticeable stir in the grounded brothers and the humans. Simeon ran behind her and attempted to snatch to book from her. She ducked under his hands and dashed deeper into the house. After a quick glance back at the rest of the group, the two of them charged after her.

"Mc? Solomon? Are you with us?" Their grip on his face was so weak at this point, so he took one off his cheek to grip it tightly.

"Everything is blurry. Lean in closer." Mc relaxed into his arms and he got closer to peer into their eyes.

"I'm here, but I hope they hurry with that thing. At this point I feel like it might hurt less to just cut the pact mark off my body." Solomon was lightly shaking and grimacing.

"Are you in pain, Mc?" Satan noticed they hadn't said anything regarding how they were feeling.

"It feels like hot irons are being pressed to the pact marks. Don't stop whatever you're doing. It feels nice." They were quieter this time, and moved sluggishly.

"Don't worry. Diavolo and Simeon are going to put an end to this. It will get better, just hold on." They could hear the fight raging on somewhere else in the house, the kitchen based on the sound of pots and pans being flung. After they heard a shrill scream, the brothers began to stir again, and Solomon and Mc looked like they had just taken a breath of fresh air.

As Satan was about to ask how Mc felt again after the look on their face, the fight was brought back into the front room. This time, faux Lilith seemed to have a different goal in mind; Mc. She lunged at the two of them. Satan was quick to move. Barbatos hoisted Solomon onto his shoulder and moved back. She redirected to follow Satan's every move and tried to grab at Mc. Simeon and Diavolo rushed after her every time to no avail.

"What do you want with Mc?" He had his back to the faux Lilith, to hold himself between her and Mc.

"I need their body to complete my transformation. They're a real descendent of Lilith! If I use their body, I can finally be close to her again!" She gave Satan no time to think and rushed at him again. He fled up the stairs, planning to go to the one place he thought might keep her out.

He hurriedly climbed the long, twisty staircase to the attic. She was right on his tail. As he passed the threshold, he slammed the door shut with his tail, locking it. He looked around for anything that might be of use desperately, still clutching Mc to his chest. They seemed barely coherent, still trying their best to look at his face. If he tried to channel his power to use against Lilith, it would take away from what he was channeling into Mc, but it was all he had. She slammed on the door, starting to bash a small hole in it. Satan set Mc down on the bed that was always in the attic so he had time to search through everything in the attic for help. At this point, he noticed something long and shiny sticking out from under the bed. As he reached for it, he jumped back. It stung where he had made contact with it. He reached back under again, and despite the burning, he got it out into full view. He recognized it as Simeon's sword. It was blessed in several different ways, which was why he had issues picking it up. If he wanted to defeat this creature, he knew what he had to do.

As the door was finally broken through, he wielded the sword, despite the burns forming on his hand. He lunged at the faux Lilith, causing her to stumble back and onto the stairs again. She scurried past him and at Mc again and as she did, he caught sight of the book in her waistband. He knew he wouldn't be able to reach Mc in time at this rate, so he plunged the sword right into the book, and into faux Lilith. She collapsed to the floor, screaming loudly. Satan dropped the sword and hurried past her to stand between her and Mc. He watched as she disintegrated while writhing, leaving just the book behind, with a large gash right through the middle.

He jumped at the sound of Mc behind him. They were attempting to sit up, a hand on their head. "Mc! How are you feeling?" He sat beside them, holding their hand with his uninjured one.

"It feels like I got burnt, everything is spinning, and I kind of feel like throwing up but better than before. What happened?" They looked around. "How did we even get here?" They asked.

"Long story. Right now, we need to get you back downstairs to Barbatos. Everyone is probably waiting for us. Do you need a hand?" He got up and walked around to the side Mc was on.

"That would be nice." He extended an arm to them, which they took and hung off of. On their way out, he picked up the ruined book. It had begun to ooze a black substance.

"Do you mind grabbing Simeon's sword? I would, but it really stings." He opened his domainant hand to show them the outline of the sword in his hand from where he had held it.

"Satan! When did you get this?" They took his hand to spread his fingers while leaning against him for support, wincing as they did so.

"Just now. Also part of the long story. What's most important is getting you downstairs, Mc! Worry about me later, love." Mc gave him a quick glare, but did as he asked and picked up the sword. Together, they hobbled down the stairs and reunited with everyone else.

They were swarmed by the brothers who were on the ground last time they saw them. After seeing Mc hiss in pain and the holy blade, they moved back a little. Behind them was the others. Solomon was sitting on the ground, being tended to by Simeon and Barbatos.

"I believe this belongs to you." Mc held the sword out in front of them, catching Simeon's attention.

"Oh, thank you! I was wondering where it was sent when I lost it during the battle." He took the sword from them, to which it vanished after he briefly inspected it. "Now, come sit over here and let me look after you." After he saw Satan's hands, he made him sit down too.

"So, us three again, huh? Cats, am I right?" Solomon chuckled, causing the other two to laugh too.

"Do you remember anything? I just remember entering the house and staring at Satan." Mc asked Solomon.

"It's about the same for me. I remember getting here and almost throwing up, and that's it." As he was speaking, Barbatos moved around to his injured side and pulled up his shirt. "Barbatos, at least buy me dinner first." This earned him a strained, tight smile and a swat to the head. After seeing what Barbatos was looking at, the levity of the moment was drained. Over where his pact with Asmo was crusted over with a burn so deep in color you wouldn't be able to tell it was there if the pink glow wasn't emitting from the cracks in his skin. In contrast, his pact with Barbatos was baby smooth and looked refreshed.

"Is that what I'm going to look like?" With a gulp, they peeled off their shirt, and revealed the caked over pact marks. The only visible one was Satan's. It looked revitalized. Each of the burnt marks hurt to touch. The men around them looked a little embarrassed. As Simeon began tending to the burns and assessing the situation, the six brothers approached them again.

"I'm sorry, Mc, Satan, Solomon. For my reaction." Lucifer began his apology. Surprisingly, Satan interrupted him.

"It's not you're fault. It's the creature that possessed you. It's not you fault it went missing. It probably meant to find it's way back into our home. You wouldn't have known. I know this won't take away the guilt, but you just wanted to see her again. I don't blame you." He stunned Lucifer.

"I'll make it up to you. Thank you." Lucifer gently smiled at his younger brother, something he never thought he'd see. His brothers gathered around them, also apologizing. Mammon and Levi were in tears and Asmo was gripping Solomon so tightly he almost lost circulation.

As Lucifer took his injured hand, Satan looked around at everyone there, grateful to had been part of such a family.

SUPER SUPER proud of this one! honestly at first I didn't know where I wanted this to go but I am SO happy with it. I've def improved with fight scenes but I tried to avoid it because i never like them haha

but thank you all for patiently waiting! happy new year <3

all the people I promised to tag :D

@jasthelazyelf @boxofgasoline @clemtastica @cosmic-caffelatte @hananacchi @anxious-chick @smc-angl @exrellian @majesticselena @marvelous-maniac

#omswd #obey me shall we date #obey me mc

[chxrrybcmbs]

Gimme Shelter: Part Three

70s gangster bucky barnes x fem!reader au. Warnings: mature themes, drug use, alcohol, guns, blood, violence.

Synopsis: James "Bucky" Barnes, better known by his fearsome moniker, The Winter Soldier. It's Los Angeles in 1977 and only one man owns the city. Until someone decides to challenge the king for his throne.

Warning: mild smut, 18+ only, read at your own risk.

Note: I do not give permission for my work to copied or translated anywhere else but this blog.

Masterlist

Sam and Steve were at Bucky's side not long after you left. Bucky had his hands gripping the chrome railing, his eyes scanning the crowd of revelers.

"Does Lang know?" He asked.

"Yeah, I told him. He just asked not to make a mess of the place. If it gets ugly it goes outside." Steve replied.

Bucky pushed himself off the railing and turned to face his partners.

"I don't plan on getting ugly, that's what he wants. He's trying to rile me up so I make a fool of myself." Bucky cocked a hip as he considered which hand to play. He rubbed his jaw with his left hand.

"What's the move, boss man?" Sam crossed his arms over his chest. Bucky looked to him then to Steve.

"He wants me to look weak in front of my clients. Coming for Y/N directly, he knows my weakness and that's not good. We need to get info on his and exploit it immediately." Bucky spoke.

"I can have Tasha get on it." Steve added. Bucky nodded,

"Go tell her and have her bring Y/N back out."

Steve and Sam looked at him confused.

"But you just said she's your weakness?" Sam questioned.

"I know but shoving her in the back makes me look scared and I'm not giving him the satisfaction. From now on, Y/N is with me 24/7. As long as I keep her in my sight he can't do anything." Bucky explained.

"I'll go get them." Steve jogged down the stairs and made a B line for the back office.

"Sam, call Clint and tell him to get his ass down here ASAP."

Sam nodded and moved to leave when Bucky stopped him,

"After that call Logan. I need more muscle."

"On it." Sam left and Bucky turned back to look out at the dance floor. Everything was normal, the party was going smoothly. Nothing seemed amiss. His meeting with Lang went well and they planned to continue doing business with each other. Lang also promised to push new clients Bucky's way. This whole mess with Stark was going to be snuffed out like a candle flame. He'd be sorry he ever came to town.

---------

Steve came to retrieve you and Natasha, simply saying Bucky changed his mind and wanted you with him. You quickly darted from the room not bothering to listen to whatever Steve was telling Natasha. Bucky wanted you and that's all you cared about.

You found him sitting in the VIP lounge, legs spread wide and his arms resting on the back of the seat. He smiled slyly as he saw you approaching.

"Come here, baby." He patted his lap and you eagerly obliged. He brought his left arm to wrap around your waist while he started nuzzling your neck.

"What changed your mind?" You asked, reveling in his touch.

"No one can keep you safe better than me." He breathed against your skin and you felt chills ripple through your body.

"I'm not gonna let some bozo try to separate us. You're staying with me no matter what." He continued, looking up at you. His blue eyes were dark with lust and you knew he'd have no qualms throwing you back on the lounge for the whole club to see. It would be a display of power to any and all who tried to intimidate him.

"Does that mean I get to come with you everywhere?" You wondered, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. He smiled, your noses brushing against each other.

"Everywhere. I'm not letting you out of my sight." Both his hands were off the seat now, one holding your thigh and the other resting on the back of your neck.

You couldn't hide the smile spreading across your face. You'd wanted nothing more than for him to let you in just a little bit more than he already did. Of course, the situation wasn't ideal and you knew this was a protective measure but it still made you happy.

"Why don't we take this party home?" You flirted, dragging your index finger down from the tip of his chin to his chest. You knew he was making a show of sitting like a king on his throne, that this Stark fellow was watching somehow and Bucky was making sure he saw how much he didn't care. Like a spider to the fly, he wanted Stark to make a bigger move before he showed his true hand.

"You know I can't refuse you." Bucky kissed you quick and gave your thigh a squeeze before letting you go.

"You're such a liar." You giggle, he has refused you plenty of times before except when you dangled sex in the air like a dog bone or insisted so hard he couldn't say no. Bucky chuckled,

"But you love me anyways." He squeezed your ass as you stood up.

"You bet your ass I do." You took his hand and led him down out of the VIP section.

Bucky had the valet bring his car around and he tipped the young boy extra. Perhaps guilt for accosting the poor waiter earlier.

"Did you tell the others we left?" You asked as he sat in the drivers side.

"I saw Sam on the way out, they know." He replied. "Now the only business I wanna discuss is what I'm gonna do to you when we get back." He winked and you felt the goosebumps rise up on your arms.

Back at the penthouse, Bucky barely locked the door behind him before his hands were on you. His lips melded with yours and your own hands reached up to grip his long hair. He shuffled you backwards toward the bedroom. He pulled the straps of your dress of your shoulders, it fell down to your hips baring your breasts to him. You kicked the rest off, leaving you in nothing but panties.

You broke away from kissing him to help him shed his clothes. You ripped his shirt open and ran your hands down his muscled abdomen as he undid his belt. You pulled at the waistline of his slacks, teasing ever so slightly.

"Enough of that." In a swift motion he scooped you up and tossed you back onto the bed. He crawled on top of you, kissing you roughly from your lips down your body. You let out breathy moans of pleasure and reached down to unbutton his slacks. You need him now, the playfulness at the club was enough to have you rearing to go. It took a lot of strength not to make him stop the car and fuck him right there in the drivers seat. But you were patient and now it was time.

Bucky kicked off his slacks and reached back down to pull your panties down before pulling down his own underwear. You pulled him back down to press your lips together in a greedy, desperate kiss. As you held him there you felt him enter you softly at first, then his thrusts became stronger and stronger.

Your hands clawed down his back, moans and gasps of ecstasy escaping your mouths. You looked into his eyes as he hovered above you, wild and ragged. This was a love you'd never find again and didn't want to. You'd never give him up, come hell or high water, and you saw that reflected in his eyes.

With a fervent kiss, and screams of pleasure you reached the end. Bucky flopped onto his back beside you, chest heaving and slick with sweat. You let a moment of silence pass between you. Listening to the sound of each others breathing start to steady. You turned onto your side to face and him and he did the same.

"You know I love you, right?" He said, his blue eyes now a calm sea.

"Of course I know. I love you too." You replied.

"I want you to know that no matter what, I will always love you. Till the very end and even then I'll still love you."

You giggled,

"What's this all about? You high on sex?" You joked. He grinned and let out a chuckle,

"Maybe a little but I mean it."

"I know. You don't have to tell me."

"I do. Just in case." The grin disappeared from his face and you felt a nervous tinge in your chest.

"James, don't talk like that." You rarely used his full name but this was a conversation you didn't like.

"For my own selfish reasons I just want to make sure you know. That's all. I'm not made of steel." He continued.

"I know you aren't and I appreciate the reminder but this feels an awful lot like a man who's certain death is knocking on his door and he's afraid." You retorted. You knew this business was risky and his life was constantly on the line but he never talked to you this way before and it was scaring you.

He looked at you softly, smiling.

"Fear of death is not my issue." He said. "I'm sorry for ruining the night with this, I just-" He paused and reached his hand out to caress your hair.

"You didn't ruin the night, but you will if you keep it up." You sassed and he grinned.

"Come here." He beckoned, and you snuggled up against him, resting your head on his chest. His arms wrapped around you and it didn't take long for you to fall asleep enveloped in his warmth.

You didn't know what time it was when you heard the knock on the door and felt Bucky leave the bed. You sat up and turned on the bedside lamp, rubbing your eyes. There were muffled voices coming from the living room, a moment later Bucky came back into the room.

"What's wrong?" You mumbled, your eyes still adjusting to the light. Bucky ran a hand through his hair,

"Nat's missing."

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #sebastian stan #sebastianstan #winter soldier #winter soldier fanfic #buckybarnesau #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky x female reader #buckybarnes #marvel fanfic series #marvel fanfic #marvel #x reader #bucky smut

[yesterdaysgirl]

Bad Obsession

Saul Hudson x reader

<1991>

Summery: You have a problem, can Slash help you?

I leaned my back against the balcony railing, my head in my hands. I fucking screwed it. I screwed it all. How was I going to tell Saul? I don't think I could.  I groaned, turning around, and leaning my elbows on the balcony. I looked out into the city. The view was amazing. All the lights shone against the dark silhouette of the skyscrapers. Then I spotted a big boxed-shaped building that stood on the outskirts of town. The rehab center. That’s where I would be soon if I didn't stop my bad habits.

I heard the screen door open and my body froze.

“Y/n, what are you doing out here?” I turned around, and there he was, standing in the middle of the doorway. Saul. 

“Lovely.” I breathed softly, letting the nickname drift to my husband's ears. I walked forward and wrapped my arms around his torso tightly, bringing my body close to his. 

“What's wrong?” He asked me, hugging me back. He rested his chin on my head, breathing in slowly. I started to panic. How was he so good at reading emotions? I had only hugged him, and he already had a feeling I wasn't fine. At that moment, I truly believe my heart stopped beating. I couldn't tell him. I don't think I could ever tell him.

I decided to avoid the question completely and change the subject.

“You smell nice.” I mumbled, moving my head so my forehead was resting on his shoulder. I looked down at the tile pattern on the balcony. I hoped that focusing on that would calm me down. It didn't.

Saul hummed in agreement, before moving his head so his mouth was next to my ear.

“You didn't answer my question.” He whispered into my ear. My heart started beating faster. I looked up from his shoulder and into his eyes.

“Yes, I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache.” I answered. I smiled a little, hoping that would satisfy my husband enough to drop the subject. He gave me a small nod, before kissing me on the cheek.

“Well, I’m tired. You coming?” He softly spoke, walking us into the lounge room, and reaching behind me to shut the door.

“Yes, sleep does sound nice. I’ll just go get changed.” I quickly pulled out of our embrace,  hurriedly walking into our bedroom and shutting the door. I quickly took off all my clothes, and started rummaging through all my clothes to find something to bed. Something long. As I searched around our room, I caught a glimpse of my body in the mirror. I stopped searching, and stood in front of the whole-body mirror. I grabbed the fat of my gut. I’m ugly. So ugly it’s not even funny. I don't even know why Saul married me. I don't know what he sees in me. I’m not pretty, he doesn't need any of the money I have, and I was constantly on the road. Not to mention the drugs and alcohol. I know that might sound strange, as Saul also does drugs, and loves alcohol, but wouldn't he rather have a trophy wife, than a sloppy mess like me? 

I lost myself, just staring at my reflection in the mirror blankly.

“Baby, do you want to take a shower with-” Saul opened the door, but stopped walking and talking as soon as he saw me. I quickly moved so my body was facing him, so it wouldn't look suspicious.

I went red, remembering I was half naked, only wearing underwear and a bra. I swiftly moved my arms so they were hugging my torso. 

“Sorry babe.” Saul said absentmindedly, walking towards me, and taking his leather jacket off. But he soon stopped what he was doing, and furrowed his brows.

“What are you doing?” He asked, walking up to me faster, moving my arms out of the way.

“Saul, don't!” I pleaded, trying to move my arms around my stomach again, but it was too late. He had already seen the red finger marks on my stomach. Saul looked back up at me, his eyes looking sad.

“Y/n, we’ve been through this before. You’re not ugly. You’re beautiful, and I love you, ok? Why can’t you just see yourself the way I do?” Saul cocked his head to the side, a few tear drops ran down his cheek. I moved my hand to wipe away the tears. He let me rest my hand on his cheek. He looked at my face, before trailing his eyes down my arm. His eyes widened, and in a flash, he whisked his hand up to grab my wrist and pulled my hand off his cheek. I started panicking all over again, thinking he was mad at me for something. But that's when I saw where he was looking. At the inside of my elbow. I tried to yank my arm away, but Saul had a strong grip on my wrist, and it was getting tighter the more I strained against him. I looked at his face through my glassy eyes to see if I could find any emotion to hint at what he was feeling. But he just stared at the marks on my arm.

Suddenly, after some time of silence, and Saul just staring, he pulled me into a hug. A tight hug. He had never hugged me like this. It was as if he was afraid I would disappear if he didn’t hold me strong enough.

“Where is it?” My husband whispered into my ear, his voice shaky.

“Where’s what?” I asked back, acting dumb. I didn't want to give in to the thought that he knew. But he just saw the marks on my arms, so there was little to no hope.

“The heroin.” His words came out of his lips in one big shaky breath. My whole body stiffened. A few stray tears leaked from my eyes. But a few turned into a whole lot more, and soon I was a sobbing mess. Saul started rocking me from side to side, softly repeating that it would be alright. But that was the biggest lie I have ever heard in my life. 

“Come on y/n, this is important. Where did you put the drugs?” Saul wiped the tears off my face and held my hands. I sighed, knowing this was it. He would find out how addicted I was to the drug. I looked away from him, and as calmly as I could, I whispered:

“In the green suitcase under the bed.” It hurt me that I couldn't even look him in the eye and say it. It hurt me that Saul had to see me this way. I hated that I let this get to me.

I kept looking at the ground as I felt Saul's presence disappear. The sound of him kneeling beside the bed filled the room, accompanied by a shuffling sound of his pulling the overly large suitcase out from under the bed. I only dared to look when the sound of a zipper filled the dangerously quiet room. I looked at where he was on the ground, staring open-mouthed at the open suitcase. I think he was expecting to find a couple of syringes and some zip-lock bags with heroin in them, not big plastic containers labeled ‘HERION’ jammed into a 150-litre suitcase, each container containing at least 10 liters of the drug. My body trembled as I slowly made my way to Saul.

“Honey?” I asked croakily. My throat was dry from all the tears I had cried.

Saul stood up, still looking at the drugs. My body was trembling from how scared I was. Scared of what Saul was thinking. Saul looked up at me, finally closing his mouth. We were standing about a meter and a half away from each other. Neither of us wanted to step any further. We stood in silence for a good 5 minutes. I had finally had enough

“JUST FUCKING SAY SOMETHING, GODAMMIT!” I screamed, throwing my arms up to emphasize my point. My chest was moving up and down fastly, as I started to hyperventilate.

Saul flinched, shaking from my sudden outburst. I suddenly realized what I had done, and broke down in tears again.

“Please just say something.” I sobbed. Saul rushed towards me and engulfed me in his arms. 

“Hey hey hey, it's gonna be ok baby.” Saul mumbled into my hair, as his strong hands stroked large circles on my back. It did calm me down a bit, but not nearly enough to make me believe his words.

“No its not.” I cried into his shoulder, but Saul was not having it. He pulled out of the hug and looked into my tear-stained eyes.

“Listen baby, it is gonna be ok. Because we’re gonna get you some help, and you’ll be all better. And I’ll help you through it all, I promise. I don't care how long it will take, I will stand by you the whole way.” Saul looked at me with the softest expression, and I started to believe his words.

“Thank you, baby.” That's all I could say before hugging him again. Something in the warmth of Saul's breath on my neck told me everything was gonna be ok.

6 MONTHS LATER

I heard the sizzle of bacon as I stepped into the kitchen. I could also smell the bacon. I crept up behind Saul and wrapped my arms around his torso. He jumped a little, which caused a giggle to slip out of my mouth. Saul turned down the heat on the stove, before turning around and smiling at me.

“How did you sleep baby?” He asked me as he left soft butterfly kisses on my cheek.

“It was the best sleep I’ve had since…well for a long time.” I said softly. Saul looked up from where he was kissing my jaw and smiled.

“Glad to hear baby.” He kissed me on the lips this time. I had missed this. Waking up next to Saul, hugging and kissing him, and pretty much everything. This was my first day out of rehab, and I could already feel the difference. It was refreshing waking up, and not instantly shooting up in the bathroom and hiding it all from Saul.

“I've missed you baby.” Saul whispered into my lips. I melted into his embrace. Saul was right. Everything was going to be ok.

#Saul Hudson x reader #Saul hudson x y/n #Slash fic #Slash x reader #Guitar #Guns n roses #fanfic #Lead guitar #Use you illusion I #1991 #Saul Hudson

[i-spaced-sorry]

Hi

I just wanted to tell you that I love your writing so much!!!!

Also I was wondering if you could please write a Jay Helstead x little sister reader??

Like maybe Jay has had custody of her since she was a baby and now she starts asking questions about their parents. Like why it has only ever been Jay taking care of her and where is her mom? Maybe the reader is like 6, just started kindergarten and maybe this is what stems the question asking (other kids talking about their own parents and asking why the reader only ever talks about Jay)

Thank you for all that you do

this is 100% your choice and feel free to make any changes

Hi! Thanks for requesting! I hope you like it, it kind of went dark! I'm also enjoying playing around with writing time skips, so I hope you enjoy that (if not, sorry)

TW: mention of past abuse, mention of death during childbirth

Title: Why?

“Why” you asked while you sat down to eat your cereal.

Almost dropping the coffee pot, you watched as your brother Jay placed it back on the machine and sighed, “I thought we left this stage when you were 3”

“No, why” you tried again, beginning to whine when your brother didn’t understand your vague question. 

Sitting across from you at the table, Jay placed his coffee down and asked, “why, what? I need more than just a word.”

You chewed your cereal bite and swallowed before you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. 

“Why is it just you and me and occasionally Will? What happened to mommy and daddy?”

Jay knew this day was coming. Though he was hoping it wouldn’t happen until you were at least out of elementary school. But he should have known better, 6yr olds are relentless if he remembered his time in school correctly. 

“Uh, just because it was easier this way. Can I ask where this is coming from?”

***

“And where did she say it was coming from?” asked Hailey, while the two of them sat in the surveillance van watching the corner store for their suspect. 

Continuing the look through the binoculars, Jay responded, “some of her friends were talking about how they were excited for some donuts and dads party their class is having in a few weeks.” 

“Okay, follow up question, what did you tell her when she asked?” asked Hailey, putting a pin in the stupid class party that definitely is leaving kids who don’t have dads out. 

Turning to face his partner, he wiped his hand down his face and sighed, “I panicked and told her it was easier this way.”

“Jay. You didn’t answer her question at all.”

“I know, but what was I supposed to say? Hey Y/N, you live with me because mom died during childbirth and dad went off the rails and abused you mentally for the first 3 yrs of your life and it wasn’t until I came home from the War that I realized how bad it had got and now dad is in jail and you have a restraining order against him where if he comes within 50 ft of you, I’m allowed to tackle him and call the police on him? Yea, I’ll pass”

Laughing slightly at her partner's bluntness, Hailey replied, “I’m not saying say all that to your 6yr old sister. But I do think she deserves some explanation”

When she notices her partner opening his mouth to protest, she adds, 

“Age appropriate Jay. Age appropriate.”

**

You were sitting at the kitchen table coloring, while your babysitter for the evening, Stella, was putting together your after school snack. 

“Okay munchkin, here is your snack” she said as she placed your apple slices and peanut butter beside you. Seeing your paper she asked curiously, “what ya coloring there?”

Not looking up you replied, “a picture duh” 

“Okay sassy pants” was all Stella replied before walking away trying to process what you drew. 

When Jay got home, he thanked Stella and walked her to the door. 

“Thanks again, Eva was stuck studying for her final exams and I didn’t want her to be torn away every few minutes to deal with the monkey”

While shrugging on her coat, Stella smiled, “it’s no problem. I like hanging out with Y/N. Though, I don’t know what’s going on with her, but she was drawing some interesting pictures this afternoon”

That caught Jay’s attention, “interesting how?” he probed. 

“Nothing bad, just she was drawing a shadowy figure outside the house, you, Will, and her were inside, but she was crying in her drawing.”

Sighing, Jay replied, “thanks”

And with that Stella left and he shut the door behind her and turned around. 

“Now or never” he muttered. 

Walking over to where you were eating dinner, Jay sat down. 

“Do you want to hear about why it’s just you and me and occasionally Will?”

You looked up from your spaghetti, “Yes!” you just about screamed while nodding your head insistently. 

“Okay, so when you were being born, mommy was not very well. The doctors had to make a decision. And I want you to know the decision that was made is not and will never be your fault.”

You felt tears prick your eyes, “mommy died?” 

Jay felt his own eyes prick, “Yes, but I will tell you as many stories about her. Whenever you want. And I bet you, Will, will too , if you ask him nicely.” 

You stared for a few moments taking everything in. “Okay, so that explains mommy. What about daddy?”

Jay didn’t really know how to appropriately tell you that your dad had abused you, so he went with a toddler age appropriate response and hoped you wouldn’t probe for more. 

“So, when mommy died, I went away right”

“To fight a war!” you inserted!

Nodding, Jay kept going, “yes, to fight a war. So it was just you and dad. But dad was really sad about mom and he did some bad things. Will and I didn’t know what these bad things entailed until I came home and Will came back from school for the summer.”

“Bad things?” you inquired. 

Mentally screaming fuck, Jay calmly replied, “he was hurting and took it out on others and was just not being a good dad. So he had to go away for a long time.”

“But why you? Why not Will or grandma or grandpa?” you probed. 

“Will was still in school and wasn’t in a good spot to care for himself, go to school, and care for you. Grandma and Grandpa both have their own slew of health issues and we thought it would be better if they didn’t have to restart the parenting process. I had come home from the war for good by that time and it was decided I had the most stable housing and money coming in. So that’s how it was decided it would be me, you, and occasionally Will.”

You thought for a few minutes, taking in everything you just learned. When you finally slipped out of your chair, came around the table and hugged your brother exclaiming, “thank you” over and over again.

#jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x sister #jay halstead x sister reader #halstead!sister #chicago pd x reader #chicago pd imagine

[basiccortez]

Forehead Kisses - R. Wheeler

pairing: Rip Wheeler x Dutton!Female genre: fluffy:) warnings: slight spoiler for season 4, but that's it. A/N: this is my first Yellowstone fic! So please, be nice to me I'm sensitive. Also, requests are open:) send 'em on in

Rip could tell from the jump that you were going to have a bad day. For one, you slept horrible. Every single toss and turn had him looking over at you. Rip was a light sleeper, which was both a blessing and a curse. He had tried to help you get to sleep by cuddling you, but you ended up just pushing him away.

Two, it was an overcast day. You loved the sun and hated the rain. Which was funny since you were a farmer's daughter, and farmers loved the rain. But you had told Rip once that the rain makes you sad and your joints hurt.

And three, Ryan just had to point out your sour mood. The second the words left his lips, Rip was closing his eyes and saying a quick prayer for the ranch hand. If there was one thing Rip had learned of the years working for the Duttons, it was to not piss off a Dutton Woman. You looked like you could kill Ryan with a look, and Rip was waiting for you to tear into him. But instead, he watched as your eyes clouded with tears and you turned on your heel to storm into the house.

"Oh shit," Rip said, and pushed off the railing of the pin.

"What did I do!?" Ryan asked.

"Better pray she doesn't tell her daddy and you have a job by the end of the day!" Rip yelled at him, before going into the house. Rip immediately went down the hallway towards your dad's office. You were the youngest girl of the family, and the princess. Anything you said or wanted, you got. If you told John that Ryan made you cry, Ryan's ass would be on the next ride out of here.

Instead, Rip's brown eyes landed on the bathroom door that was shut. He sighed, and wiggled the door handle, finding it locked.

"Sweetheart? You in there?" Rip asked, knocking on the door.

"Go away," You sniffled.

"Now you know I can't do that," Rip leaned against the door frame, "Against God's rules to leave a girl when she's crying."

"To hell with God."

"Well that's a sentence I never thought would leave your mouth. Now c'mon, honey, open the door." Rip heard the door unlock, but it never opened. You were also the most stubborn Dutton, getting that gene right from your father. Rip couldn't help but chuckle, shaking his head as he opened the door. You were sitting on the closed toilet seat, tears still streaming down your face. The sight was enough to break Rip's cold heart.

"Oh sweetheart," Rip said, shutting the door behind him, "What's the matter?"

"I don't know," You cried and dabbed at the tears under your eyes, "I just feel like crying."

Rip kneeled down in front of you, and grabbed your hands, "This this has to do with the election?" The whole family had been on pins and needles since John announced he was going to run for governor. It was only a matter of time until someone in the family broke from the stress.

"Probably," You sniffled, "I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm such a mess."

"You're fine, sweetheart," Rip wiped a tear from your cheek, "It's okay. Tell you what, I'll take the day and we can head back to the cabin. I trust that Ryan can do something right and get today's chores done."

"You sure?"

"Of course," Rip said and leaned forward and placed a kiss on your forehead, "Now quit your tears, you're too pretty to be crying."

You smiled and wiped a tear, "You like it when I cry."

"Yeah, usually from me fucking you senseless, not when Ryan opens his dumbass mouth," A shiver ran through your body as flashbacks of your intimate moments with Rip filled your mind. You grabbed the collars of his shirt and brought him in for a passionate kiss. You pulled back and pecked his lips.

"Hurry, please," You said, against them.

"Yes ma'am."

#yellowstone #yellowstone fan fic #yellowstone fan fiction #yellowstone imagine #rip wheeler #rip wheeler fan fic #rip wheeler fan fiction #rip wheeler imagine #rip wheeler x reader #rip wheeler x you #rip wheeler x y/n

[aphroditesbaby1616]

The Bear & His Honey Chapter 10 -

♡ Chapter Inspo: King Of My Heart (TS) - " I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own. I made up my mind, I'm better off bein' alone. We met a few weeks ago, now you try on callin' me, baby, like tryin' on clothes "

♡♡》》𝟙𝟠+ 𝕆ℕ𝕃𝕐 𝔽𝕀ℂ! ℕ𝕆 𝕄𝕀ℕ𝕆ℝ𝕊 𝔸𝕃𝕃𝕆𝕎𝔼𝔻《《♡♡

♡ Summary: Winnie + Carm start to see eachother more regularly, Carm tries on having a bit more of a domestic life for once. ♡ W/C: 19,674 ♡ Posted Date: 03/03/2024 ♡ A/N: Its hereee! I hope it was worth the wait, it took me soooo long to edit it hahah - but were finally starting to get Carm cracked open a little!!! ♡ Warnings for BTC: Smoking cigarettes, swearing, fluff, oral (m receiving), speaking of motorcycle accidents, emotional distress, panic attacks, crying, negative self talk, talk of opiates

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

When Sugar dropped me off at home, she’d gotten out and helped me up the few steps to the front door of my building. “Are you sure you’ll be ok from here?” She asked, her voice still laced with concern due to my obvious pain and limp. She leaned against the iron railing, handing me back my bag that she’d graciously held on to as she helped me up the stairs.

I nodded, taking the bag from her and putting it on my shoulder. “Totally sure. Please- I promise this happens all the time. If anything, I’m sorry for putting you out. I really need to be more mindful- I’m the worst at overworking my injury. S’don’t worry, and thank you again, Sugar. This was so kind of you to do for me, especially since we’ve only met a few times. And…by the way, Even if Carm is too in his own head to tell you, I can see just how much you mean to him. I see how much you’ve shaped him as a person. You are an amazing sister, Natalie, really” I told her honestly, rubbing her arm gently. 

She pulled me into a hug, her face settling into my neck, and her arms wrapping under mine around my waist, squeezing gently. Just like Carm’s hugs. I smiled a bit, wrapping my arms around her and rubbing her upper back. I could smell the hairspray from when she curled her hair, as well as some kind of Victoria Secret perfume. Such a big sister. “Thank you, Winnie. That means a lot - really.” She said softly. 

“Also- you are an amazing mom I know it for sure, seeing as you’re such a good sister” I said and she squeezed me tighter. “Oh my gosh you are just too sweet.” She gushed and pulled away with a smile. “I gotta go pick up the littlest from daycare, stay safe ok?” She started back down the stairs towards the car. “You too, and thanks again, drive safe!” I told her and went into the entry hall, shutting the door behind me. I sighed softly as I looked at the daunting staircase.  48 stairs. I can do it. I have to do it.

It took me about an hour to climb all 3 flights of stairs, considering I had to stop every 4 steps or so and sit down for a few minutes, just to avoid my hip giving out again altogether, and likely causing me to tumble down the tiled stairs to my death. My hip was throbbing, screaming by the time I got to my floor. I was in tears again from the pain, my hands shaking as I unlocked my apartment door. 

Persephone meowed impatiently and I dropped my bag to the floor in a heap next to her in the entryway, slinging the door shut behind me. “You'll need to wait, m’sorry” I muttered to her and sniffled, limping over to the couch, and using every surface possible on the way there to support my weight. I collapsed on the sofa and kicked off my sneakers before lying down and digging my phone out of my pocket. 

I tried to stop the tears from flowing, wiping my tear-stained cheeks with my sleeves. It took about 45 minutes of scrolling on my phone before I felt well enough to get up, and get to the bathroom. I swallowed one of my pain pills, before limping into the kitchen and putting Persephone's food In her bowl. I moaned out in pain as I bent over, putting her bowl down and slowly pulling myself back up. 

She quickly started eating and I hobbled back to the bedroom, sitting on my bed as I took off my shirt and bra, standing to peel off my jeans from my thighs before sitting again to get them off my calves and ankles. I let out a heavy sigh, one of those post-sob sighs that was more like a gasp and rubbed my face roughly. When I pulled my hands away from their vicious rubbing of my eyes, my fingers were all streaked in black. I must look fucking nuts with mascara and eyeliner all over my face. I was honestly kind of scared to look in the mirror. 

I shook my head at the thought, getting up and padding over to my dresser, pulling the top drawer open and slipping on an oversized blue T-shirt that was Chris’ once upon a time. I plopped down on my bed, pulling makeup wipes out of my bedside table and wiping the mess of makeup off my face, turning on my tv and putting on an episode of Law and Order SVU, something I’d watched and rewatched a hundred times over.

I finished after about 2 wipes back and front of scrubbing, leaving them on the nightstand and snuggling in to my sheets as I pulled out my phone and went to tiktok, scrolling through videos. Every few minutes though, I remember the missed call on my phone from Carmen, what did he need from me in the middle of the workday? I bit my lip gently, going back to my call log 5 times over the course of an hour before finally clicking his contact highlighted in red. 

Just as I’m about to hang up because I couldn’t bear him letting me go to voicemail, it stops ringing but there’s silence on the other end. I listened for a moment, taking a deep breath, my heart thumping in my throat. “Carmy?” I said softly. “Uh- hey. Hey,” he said and cleared his throat. 

“Hi- how are you, is everything alright?” I asked “ye’ - everything’s- everything’s ok. Why?” He asked and I bit the inside of my lip nervously. “I’m- I’m sorry I should’ve just texted. Uh- I missed a call from you earlier? It must have been a butt dial. I’m sorry if I bothered you” I said, nervously playing with the thread hanging off my shirt. 

“No- no you’d never bother me, I…uh. Called cause I-I wanted to um-“ he pauses for a few moments. “Tell you…somethin’ I guess” he finally said quietly. I pick at my thumbnail nervously. “Shoot” I replied, my stomach swarming with anticipation and anxiety. “I…um. I had a really nice time with you- uh…Saturday. And um…I- I realized something?” He said the end like a question almost, as if he was asking himself if he wanted to tell me. 

“Ok what’s that?” I asked and he took a trembling breath. “I…” he said. I could picture him in my mind, nervously tugging on his hair and squeezing his eyes shut to shut himself off. “I…think- that” he clears his throat “fuck I’m so sorry I- I’ve never done this before,” he said frustrated with himself. 

“Carmy” I said gently “yes” he replied quietly. “I like you. And I think you are…amazing. Your sister is amazing, your cousins are wonderful, I- I don’t think…that we should see each other anymore, because- you’re right. If you can’t handle getting attached, we should cut things off before we both hurt ourselves more. But I had so much fun with you, this weekend. But Please Carm” I plead, “please know that this is not because I don’t want you. It’s exactly the opposite, I want you too much- I want you more than you told me you ever wanted this to go in the beginning and I’m sorry. I know that it sounds pathetic. I know we’ve only been together once but I- I fall for people really fast and I could see falling in love with you being too easy” The line was silent for what felt like minutes before he replied. 

“I think that I want you to teach me” 

Silence again, from both ends of the phone. The only sound I’d assume he hears is the scene on my tv in the background. I swallowed thickly, my eyes fluttering shut in thought. 

“You’ve been in love, right?” He asked, the question hits me like a freight train. I took a deep breath before answering. “Yes I have where is this going” I replied softly. “I- I haven’t. Nothing even close. And I know nothing Winnie. You’re so…so fucking perfect - and I know you’re way too good for me but I…I’ve never wanted to be better? And suddenly…I want t-t’see what it’s like. And you…when we were together” he stopped suddenly, the sound of a car door closing behind him. 

“When we were together, that’s the closest thing I’ve ever- no- no..” he stopped himself, I could hear him pacing back and forth. “No I'm not- I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn’t lay this on you and -“ I cut him off. 

“Carm, I want to know how being together made you feel, please” I bit my lip harshly, my chest burning with anxiety. 

“I’ve never been in love before but I’ve…I’ve seen it? And I’ve imagined…what it felt like, t-t’feel that from someone. I- I imagined it when you were reading to me- a-and. It was the first time…when I imagined being loved it felt more real…fuck I’m sorry - this is too much- I don’t mean…I mean like I’ve never felt it ever Winnie, from anyone. And I know- I-I know that Syd, rightfully fuckin’ so- told you what a sack of shit I am. And I deserve that, and I- I don’t deserve to feel loved… but I-I thought you should know how- how you made me feel.” His voice was cracking by the end. 

“I made you feel loved?” I whisper, staring blankly at the ceiling. “I’m fucking pathetic” he replied. “N-no, stop. What are you doing?” I asked “M’sorry…I- I don’t know.” He sniffled and I sit up. “No, Carm, what are you doing. Where are you?” I asked. “I-“ he snorts. “A fucking church” he said with a light chuckle “a goddamn church” he repeated and I busted up laughing. “Carmen” I said. 

“Come over. I can’t fuck you, I’m in excruciating pain, but I need to see you. And we need to talk face to face” I hear his car door open and close again, the car starting in the background. “What? Why are you hurt? What happened? I’m coming.” He said quickly. I smiled a bit at his urgency “no, nothing. Nothing did. Well, not today it’s just my hip. I broke it in the accident and had to get it fused, and they fucked it up so majorly that it hurts constantly pretty much. I just need to see your face” I said softly. He let out a sigh, that almost sounded like relief. 

“Yes. Yes. I’m coming now, have you eaten?” He asked and I hum “no, don’t worry about it I’ll make a sandwich when I feel better” I said softly. “No- no, no Winnie. What’re you in the mood for, you aren’t feeling good. Let me help you” he repeated my words from Sugars office that night at the restaurant and I shook my head fondly at the memory. “I want a sandwich, Carm. That’s it. Oo- and fries.” I said and turned on the heating pad that permanently lived on my side of the bed. 

“Yeah? M’kay baby, I’ll be over in like 40 minutes with a kick ass sandwich for you, y’okay with beef?” He asked and I hummed happily at the sweetness in his tone “please, oh my god- I haven’t eaten today and that sounds amazing” I said. “I gotcha’ Win’ don’t worry.” I heard him put his phone in the cup holder. 

“Bring a bag if you want, I kinda hated waking up alone this morning. But it’s up to you- and just come in when you get here, doors unlocked.” I said and hung up the phone, I stared up at the ceiling - Sydney’s voice bouncing around in my mind.  You can’t fix him. He will always end up pushing you away.

𝒞𝒶𝓇𝓂'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱.🧸 

I parked in the alley next to The Bear how I usually did when I came with my car and locked it, opening the metal door and heading into the kitchen. “Yo - Ebra” I said and he looks up from the grill. “Chef? Richie said you’ve left for the day” he said “Ye’, just came to grab some food I’m meetin’ a friend. Can you get me to Italian beefs and fries to go please.” I told him and he nods “Of course, right away Chef”

“Perfect thank you, I’m gonna be in the office just have someone run it back yea? Oh- and put extra cheese on one, mark it.” I head back to the office “of course chef” he replied. I shut the door and run over my chin as I sit down at the desk, Claire’s words bouncing around in my head.

‘ I’m also a spouse, how you look when you speak of her- she’s your wife ‘

Final time. This is the final - final time. If I can’t fucking handle my shit I’m not doing this and this is the last time I ever try. If she leaves, I’m done. 

I nod, satisfied with my conclusion. This would finally satisfy Sugars urge to push me to ‘find love so I can be happier’, to Richie nagging me about “not allowing myself to be happy”. If this fails, everyone will have to get off my back. Because if this fails, I fail. And it will fully prove to them everything I tell them about me being unlovable is true, and they can believe it- or they can continue living in denial that they don’t solely love me because I’m family. 

But the growing lump in my throat felt very unsatisfying at the fact that this conclusion meant, I would also finally know for myself if I was truly lovable or not. So I would finally put to rest the dream of being somewhat normal. Which felt like I would really go insane, I may just go off the deep end like Mikey. At least I’d know, that The Bear could fully run- I would be guilt free. 

My spiraling thoughts were interrupted by a light knock at the door “Jeff?” I sighed softly, running a hand through my hair. “Come in” I said and Tina opened the door. “Special order with extra cheese” she said and came and set the brown bag on the desk. “What’s goin’ on?” She asked, voice laced with concern. Per usual, I feel the tight defensiveness in my chest. 

“Nothin’..nothin’, chef. Thank you.” I sigh deeply. “You’re flushed” she put her hand on her hip. “Long fuckin’ day” I said before shaking my head “thanks again.” I said dismissively and she heads toward the door. “I hope that’s for a certain ginger - I’ll see you tomorrow” she said and closed the door before  I could reply. I blushed, why the fuck did everyone have such an interest as to who I’m deciding to mess around with. 

I got up, grabbing the bag and my keys off the desk, and opening the office door. I head towards the back through the hall “Bear!” I stopped and turn around to see sugar coming up to me, “ ‘sup?” I asked her and she took my arm, pulling me to the back door. “I just…I wanted to say - I dunno’..I don’t say it enough. I love you” she said, and the lump in my throat grew to be unmanageably large. 

“I…” my voice comes out shaky, so I clear my throat, blinking back the tears welling behind my eyes. “I love you” I replied quietly and swallowed hard. “Know that as long as I’m here, there will always be someone who’s proud of everything you’ve done, Bear” she said just above a whisper, her eyes welling up with tears and she pulls me into a hug.

It took everything in me to hold back a sob, I felt emotionally fucking unravelled today. I wrap my arms around her, burying my face in her shoulder. “The fuck are you doin’ that for, Nat?” I asked and she sniffled. “Doing what?” She muttered into my chest. “Trying to make me fuckin’ cry?” I patted her back and she laughed a bit, pulling away. “No jagoff I’m just telling my little brother that I’m proud of him. Now get out of here and think about your shit” she pushed the door open, holding it with her foot. 

“Yeah yeah I’m goin’. Thanks for holding it down today” I said as I headed back to the car. “If it’s so you keep up with that girl? I’ll pull extra shifts. Go check on her, will you? She’s in a lot of pain.” She replied and I look back at her, stopping dead in my tracks. “You saw her today?” I asked and she nods. 

“Had to drive the poor thing home, she was a mess when I came out t’go pick up the baby and drop her at home. Like actually crying in pain. That food is for her I hope?” She raised an eyebrow. 

She needed me, and I wasn’t fucking here. I’m already failing her.  “I-it is. Thank you- call me next time, will you?” I told her. “She specifically told me not to tell you she was here- so do me a favor and don’t mention it to her will you?” She said and my eyebrows furrowed. “She- she said that?” I asked. “I dunno, Carmen. Just- go check on her. Ok?” She said and I nodded “it’s where I was goin’ anyway, thanks for the heads up.” I said, putting the food safely on the floor of the passenger side before getting in the drivers side and starting to my place.

I shut my car door, slinging my backpack over my shoulder and starting up the steps to Winnie’s building. I took a deep breath outside the front door, taking out a 100mL bottle of J&M from my backpack, downing half of it, my mouth and nose crinkling up at the disgusting bitterness, the toxic-feeling burn trickling from my tongue to the pit of my stomach

 like mother like fuckin’ son.

Bounces throughout my head, but I didn’t care - the only thing to get me to tell the truth? Was my confidence being heightened by spirits. Sure, Maybe it was DNA, maybe it was unadulterated anxiety- either way if the bronze-poison helped me in being more honest with Winnie? Family habits be damned, she deserves every ounce of honesty I can muster. No matter how. 

After chugging about half the bottle, I stuffed it back in the same hidden pocket in my backpack, before pushing the large wooden front door open and hauling myself up the 3 flights of stairs to her apartment’s floor. By the time I’d gotten to her door, I had the familiar warm feeling confidence flowing through my chest. Perfect. Pure Honesty. 

I knocked gently, after a few seconds, I hear the soft confused ‘bbrrrrowww?’ Of her fuffy cat, circling close behind the door by the sounds of her. Her behavior really reminded me of Winnie, she was warm, inviting, soft, so sweet. She honestly had made me daydream about having a pet of my own for the first time. 

“Carmy? Told’ya it’s unlocked! If you’re not Carmy, come kill me I guess!” Her sweet familiar voice called through the door, causing me to chuckle. I pushed it open, slowly as to not crush the cat behind it. Stepping in, the whole place dark except the soft pulsing light from the TV spilling into the hallway from  Winnie's bedroom.

Persephone weaves figure 8’s in my legs when I stepped in, purring wildly. As soon as I looked down at her, she plopped on her back, doing a big stretch to offer her belly up for petting. “Hi pretty baby” I squatted down carefully, scratching her tummy as she requested, and feeling her purring intestify at the action, the vibration spreading throughout her whole pudgy body. 

“Happy girl” I muttered softly, standing back up straight and carefully stepping over her to head to Winnie’s room. I nudged the door open gently, nearly gasping at the raw, innocent sight in front of me. 

She was illuminated by light of the TV, Her curly red, curly fringe slightly peeked out of the blanket-hood she’d created around her face - it had to be her baby blanket. Frayed and tattered at the edges, an extremely faded, quilted pattern of Winnie The Pooh shoving honey in his mouth from a pot, curled around her face. The stray fabric tassels were nestled up to her cheeks, her left forefinger and thumb ever so gently rubbing the silk tag against her lips. 

She had a little grey seal stuffed animal nuzzled in her neck, and a little pastel bear in the crook of her arm. I smiled slightly, feeling Persephone brush against my legs. She pushed the door wide open with a *creak*, as if she pays bills or something - blowing up my spot in the hallway admiring her, peacefully just existing. She didn’t even blink until the cat catapulted carelessly onto her stomach, her gaze on the TV being broken suddenly, slightly groaning at the cat's pounce “Jesus Seph” she groaned softly, sitting up slightly, her blanket cage falling below her head. 

The bear falls out of her arm onto the bed as saw me in the doorway, sitting up further, and the cat rolling onto the bed carelessly next to her with a small whine. “Carmy!” she said happily.

I could crumple into the floor at the sound of her honey-like voice. Instead, the alcohol well meeting my inhibitions by now due to my strenuous walk-up - took honus over my mouth. “Y’re too cute” I smiled a bit, coming up to her side of the bed, sitting where I saw her feet were tucked so I wouldn’t crush her by mistake. “Dinner, from Carmen’s hospital, this time” I joked. 

Sephy pads over carefully on the bed, sniffing the container as I take it out, setting it next to Winnie’s blanketed lap. “Aht! Not for little kittens” I teased, scratching her chin gingerly. Winnie sat up fully against the headboard, setting the container to her right on the empty spot on the bed. “Kisses, now - I fuckin’ missed you.” She said, puckering her plump glistening lips adorably. 

 “Where d’you hurt? I don’t wanna make it worse f’you, honey” I asked. She smiled lazily, “I took my pill a’few hours ago, I’m numb, kissy’s please” she pleaded, and outstretched her arms for me cutely. My chest tightened momentarily at the mention of narcotics, but I easily swallowed it down with the aid of the alcohol, leaning in and kissing her deeply. I swiped my tongue over her lips, causing her to open her mouth nearly on instinct. I sigh out in satisfaction at the taste of her vanilla chapstick. She hummed sweetly, hooking her arms around my neck like a little Koala-bear, tugging herself closer to me, our chests touching. 

I rubbed the small of her back soothingly, gently pushing her large t-shirt up to expose her panties, rolling the thin stretchy elastic hem back and forth between my fingers. After a few minutes of heavy petting, deep kissing, and soft kitten-like moans from her, when her hands finally found their way under my sweater, the tips of her nails stroking my midsection in a way that set my soul on fire-  I broke our lips apart slightly, a small, thin string of our mutual desire connecting us until I spoke. “S’time f’you to eat, princess, y’feelin any better, what caused this mm’?” I questioned gently, my hands stroking up her ribs tenderly and squeezing assuringly. 

“Eat, then talk?” she said sweetly, more a demand than an offer. “Course angel, what’re we watchin’?” I took out the box marked ‘E/C’ and set it on her lap, “SVU” she said, leaning over and turning on the lamp. “Hm, alright - interesting choice” I said, getting up and taking off my sneakers, kicking them slightly beneath the bed so she wouldn’t trip in the night, before going and sitting next to her against the headboard.

“It’s my comfort show” she said and took her glasses out of the pink case from the top of her bedside table, putting them on. I smiled a bit, “Y’look really adorable in those, like a little librarian” I said, causing her to blush which made her freckles adorning her cheeks more obvious, her dimples peeking out as she tries to hide a smile. “I am a librarian, 3 days a week anyways.. Did you bring ketchup?” she asks as she opened up her box.

“Oh- no, no sorry- I need to remember that you use that shit like water” I teased “d’you have some?” I set my box down and she does the same, “Yeah-” she said with a slight giggle pulls her crosstitch, fringed blanket back. “No- no, relax, you stay here, I’ll find it, yeah? Y’re hurting, baby.. Did you want me to get you a drink while I'm in there?” I asked while getting up and heading to the hall. She nods, “Yeah- it’s on the door, just grab a soda” she replied while settling back in gratefully. I came back a minute or so later, handing her a can of soda and the ketchup.

“Carmy it’s..I’m fine really- I’ll tell you more about it, but like- This happens all the time, you don’t need to worry, I throw my hip out like at least once a week- sometimes more. I’m like an old fuckin woman” She said, squirting the ketchup into the lid of her container. I sat down, opening my soda and setting it on the nightstand. “That sucks, sorry you have to deal with that- i’m always happy to help you, y’know that right?” I took a bite of my sandwich, watching as she took a bite of the french fry she’d dunked in her monstrous pool of ketchup.

She shakes her head, “I’m fine, really - It’s my own fault. It’s my fault i’m all fucked up anyway.” she took a bite of her sandwich and hums. “ thank you f’r bringin’ this” she mumbles with a partially full mouth, an onion sticking to her lip, causing me to smile in amusement. “Hey” I said softly and she looks over, I gently swipe my thumb across her lip, before wiping it on the napkin that was sitting my lap. She blushed, smiling sheepishly. “Thanks” she muttered softly.  

We ate in silence for a few moments before I decided finally to succumb to my curiosity, “Why d’you think it’s your fault?” I asked quietly, before looking over at her. She met my gazed shrugged, before taking another bite of her sandwich, not meeting my eyes once more. She swallowed, taking a long moment before responding. “Don’t ask me about this - ever again. I’ll tell you one time, and that one time being now because my fuckin’ pills make me... able to be- open? I guess…But uh- I knew he was dead, essentially, and don’t try to tell me it ‘isn’t my fault’ because it fucking was - everything was. I was the one that begged him to bring me, to drive me to my fuckin’ girls house. A girl I knew wasnt in love with me. I’d only ridden like…” she scoffs “3..maybe 4 times? and My stupid, idiot self didn’t fuckin’ realize- I didn’t realize how fucking important it is, to balance your weight especially on sharp turns.” she shakes her head, setting her sandwich down and closing her eyes tightly.

“This- this fucking dickhead - in a huge pickup truck, he was up our ass - Chris had cut ‘em off like a mile back because he was going slow as shit- and Chris was the kind of fucker that was petty- h-he…. He slammed on his breaks a few times y’know? Like- like break-checkin’ ‘em to give ‘em I guess a taste…of-of being stuck behind someone. I should’ve known- I- I should’ve known he was…he-he- Chris was gonna whip into the next lane and dart around the sedan in front of us - but I…I- I didn’t- s-so I-I didnt lean. I didn’t lean. B-because of my weight- w-we… the front tire flipped in, Chris flew- h-he…” she takes a shaking breath. 

“He- he- he got….he hit the windshield of the car in front of us, the fucking sound Carmen- the-the-the bike slid under me, m-my hip- my fucking bone was ground in to the pavement from how far I was dragged. The poor woman in-in-in the sedan d-driving behind us- oh fuck-” she started laughing wildly, but the sound was numb. “Fuck” she looks at me,large- thick tears pooling behind her big hazel eyes. But yet a large, dry smile was plastered among her features. “The sheer force of being hit by a car- my god, when my head hit the pavement? I thought I’d exploded. Like- like I fuckin’ burst into confetti!” she laughs again, a cold, emotionless laugh while shaking her head, wiping her face over with rough hands. It was like everything she felt from this was so intensely painful, that all she could do was laugh or she’d go in to psychosis. I know I’d feel that way if I went through that with Mikey.

I swallowed thickly as she continued. “He-He was- I knew- I-I-I knew Carmen that he was dead-but- b-but- but- I h-had to…had- t- I-I-I had t-t-to see..to see him Carmen- I- y-you know? T-to b-be sure” she heaves out between violent, shaking sobs. Her entire body was trembling with fear, with sadness, with grief. Tears pooled behind my own eyes at the pure agony radiating off of her and I kissed her forehead gently “m’ so fuckin sorry honey” I muttered in to her temple, unsure if anything could console her in this moment. 

She continued, breath heaving as she attempted to explain “you know in-I-in T-TV when someone is- a-a-about to die, and -“ she gasped down a large, shaking breath “and theres this ringing - th-thats fucking real. But- b-but it's-it’s-it’s deafening Carmen. I-It.. Your body vibrates with the f-feeling, it- l-like- i-it’s from your bones-” she choked back a sob and I gently rested my hand on her thigh, “Breathe, babygirl, you’re safe” I said just above a whisper, wrapping my other arm around her frame, cradling her, and her eyes meet mine, boring in to my soul. 

“I- I tried-” she squeaked out. “I tried- I wanted to get up, he- h-” she gasps in a breath “he…h-his-his-” she squeezes her eyes shut. “Hi-s…” she hiccups a breath that sounded painful between sobs “his neck- his neck…his neck” she muttered, shaking her head quickly, bursting out suddenly in to uncontrollable, choking sobs. I rubbed her thigh soothingly. “Shhh…shhh- Baby- baby, angel- you don’t have to tell me. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, honey” I repeated, putting my plate in front of me, doing the same to hers and hugging her to me, nestling her face in to my chest and rubbing soothing circles into her back. 

She heaves in a large gasping breath, coughing lightly before continuing. “M-my hip, my hip. The fucking- th-the bone…I-I- I don’t want to disgust you.” She whispered, shaking her head against my chest. I smoothed her hair down tenderly, kissing the top of her head that was burning hot with anxiety, the hair at the base of her neck feeling damp with sweat. “Win’- you’d never disgust me, mm? I don’t want you to be sick over this. Y’don’t need t’work yourself up, don’t tell me if it makes you uncomfortable, honey”. My hand curls around her stomach, rubbing long, slow strokes back and forth, feeling her gasping breaths rise and fall against my hand as she spiraled into an episode that looked just like mine. 

Seeing her like this was causing my heart to ache so deeply it was impossible to comprehend the hurt all at once. 

“I’m sorry- I-I’m sorry- I-“ she chokes out a violent, shaking sob “I’m so sorry, Carmen- I- I’m a horrible person. I- you can’t- I don’t deserve a man like you…oh god- i-I’m- it’s me Carm. You-you-I’m horrible“ she coughs. I gently pulled her trembling frame into my lap, nudging her chin up with my forefinger to look at me and she finally opened her eyes. 

“Winnow.” I said quietly, watching her lip quiver sadly before her eyes met mine, the rings of hazel nearly swallowed by her blown out pupils, her cheeks red and tear-stained. She swallowed thickly as my thumb presses to her trembling lip. “You-” I start, my eyes squeezing shut involuntarily to try and reel back the tears gathering behind them. 

I took a large, trembling breath, holding it momentarily while I gathered my racing thoughts. “You- Winnie - you are the furthest thing from horrible, I never want to hear that from you- ever, ever again, do you understand?” I breathed out, my thumb running down her chin gently. She swallowed hard again, her eyes meeting mine suddenly, a thick hot tear falling down her freckled cheek and wetting my thumb.

“Stop.” She squeaked out, her eyes fluttering shut. “W-what baby? Stop what?” I questioned, the pads of my thumbs brushing away her tears. “Stop, Carmen- I told you” her eyes opened , gently grabbing my hands that were cupping her cheeks and squeezing gently around my wrists in objection. 

“I can’t do this.” She whispered, tugging my hands off her face gently. “I told you.” She repeated, shuffling off of my lap, sniffling and wiping her eyes messily. “I’m not your baby- I - y-you can’t call me that. S-Stop calling me sweet names” she hiccuped as she spoke, wiping her nose with a napkin- steadily avoiding my gaze. It’s like I could physically feel my heart snap. 

“How do you mean hon-Winnie?” I corrected myself, feeling a hard lump growing in my throat. “You’re too easy to fall in love with” she shook her head, pulling her plate back into her lap and swirling a fry in her ketchup. 

I sighed softly, “that’s- that’s why I’m here.” I said quietly, watching her continue to swirl the pool bigger and bigger nervously. “I’m not a good - I wasn’t a good person, and- and I’m not sure I’ve ever been loved back. I just know for certain I’ve been in love with someone before. And you deserve someone who knows the whole thing” She shrugged, finally dropping the fry in to the red pool and looking over at me. 

“Well…what was it like?” I ask quietly she snorted, shaking her head. “You don’t get it. That? What I did? It was miserable. Being in love with someone who won’t love you back is like- is like…the most embarrassing thing. I was in love with a person that never even existed, it was an idealized version of her.” She said and I raised my eyebrows, surprised. 

“You’ve never- been in love w-with a guy?” I asked and she shook her head, laughing a bit. “The only guy I claimed to love - beat my ass, and it wasn’t until therapy that I realized I didn’t love him. I just wanted him to love me so bad that I thought if I was ‘better’ or if I changed that I could convince him to love me.” She shrugged a bit. I swallowed thickly “he- he doesn’t live here does he? In Chicago?” She shook her head. 

“Good cause he’s a little bitch. I’d never ever dream of hurting you or any woman that way.” I said and she nodded, smiling a little. “Don’t worry…I’ve learned my lesson- I’d never have been around you if I got the feeling…” she sighed a bit before continuing. “It doesn’t- it doesn’t matter though. To love someone… well- unconditionally.. it’s acceptance?” She looks at me. “It’s… it’s to see someone’s flaws, and instead of…instead of seeing past them you love in spite of them. In spite of someone’s pain, in spite of all the people that have ever hurt them- it’s acceptance that this human is not perfect but they’re perfect for you. Despite their flaws, despite if they hurt you. But true love- real love, mutual love, is acceptance, and respect.” 

She turned back and continued eating her sandwich and I sat for a moment in silence, contemplating what she said. “So…you don’t…you don’t think I’m capable of that?” I asked, rubbing my chin nervously. She shook her head “no, no. I think you’d be well capable- but you…you don’t want it. You don’t want to trust that’s like- that’s the biggest part of love is trusting someone fully like more then anyone in the world you come to them and admire their opinion of you so much that you’ll take their opinion of you second to your own. Like they’re the only other person that you give a fuck about what they really think.” 

I bit my lip nervously “h-how do you- how do you learn to trust? People?” He asked and she looked over, brows furrowed a bit. “Uh-“ she shook her head slightly, thinking for a moment. “I- I guess…it starts with being honest- because if you’re honest about how you feel then it shows you if the person is worth trusting. Like…like I’ll be honest, I’m..i’m scared of being with you.” She said and I feel my heart sink. 

Of course you fucking scare her you’re a brute, your always screaming, you shut people out, you push one of her best friends to her limits constantly 

Her voice brings me back out of my head “because…well I see how innocent you are and-“ she continued but the single word rings through my mind so loudly I can’t hear, nor process anything else. 

Innocent…Innocent? Innocent. Why- how, what- what about me is innocent? I’m a fuckin’ asshole. 

“But..yeah. So I guess…I guess scared wasn’t the best word but I just don’t want to corrupt you” she finished, taking a sip of her soda and I looked back at her. 

“Innocent.” Was all I could manage to say and she looks over at me, nodding a bit. “Like I said- All I’ve had is bad relationships, unhealthy ones, you’re innocent in that sense…I don’t wanna teach you bad habits or something” she said and I sat against the headboard, thinking. “In what world could you possibly corrupt me?” I asked and she covered her mouth as she laughed “dude” she shakes her head, swallowing her food finally. 

“Don’t make me choke! Oh my god. This is what I mean- you don’t know me. I was a total piece of shit before I moved here a few years ago. I was a literal massive bitch after Chris died. I just…just came unglued. People don’t like me back home, Carm. I became a shell of myself. My mom…My mom hates me.” she said and I frowned slightly, shaking my head, “That’s- no, no Win, I dont think that your mom could hate you…you’re too- you’re too kind… Just because you may have said some shit after him- I did too, with Mikey. I’ve…I’ve said alot of fuckin’ - just cruel bullshit” I explained. I was unsure if the ache in my heart had to do with seeing her so upset- so guilt-ridden. If that was the case I would tell her whatever about myself to get to understand just how fuckin’ uncorruptable I am.

“No- no she… she hates me. I was always- I…Chris was always the good twin, I was the one causing trouble a-and to top it off I killed him.The only good thing in her life - her only real thing  to be proud of. I-I couldn’t save him, and I was the reason we were out- and I left her with- with all this debt. Then I just… I ran away! I ran. I’m a coward. And I don’t deserve someone like you who- whos already terrified of commitment, even though I’m “different” now? I still am too fucking coward to talk to my mom, because she hasn’t talked to me since I left.” she pulled Persephone in to her lap, stroking her tail between her fingers nervously and she purred in response, stretching back and looking at me. 

“I-” I clear my throat, nervously running a hand through my hair. “I uh- I didn’t even go to Mikeys funeral..I was uh…I-I couldn’t face it” I bit my lip nervously. “So, I’m uh- you aren’t guilty of anything i’m not, I’m used to running- it’s…my worst habit probably, running from-from everything” I shook my head, averting her gaze. 

“Thats the opposite of love, so if you really want to know what love feels like, you need to run towards the object of your desire.” she said softly and held my hand, rubbing over my tattoo with her thumb in long soothing strokes. I look over at her and smile a bit, getting that now familiar flutter in my stomach that was happening more and more often because of how much time we’d been together recently. “Thats why I’m here, I uh- the church?” I said and gently grabbed her small fingers with my own, lacing them together.

“Oh- did God whisper for you to come see me” she gives me a teasing smile and I chuckled a bit, sitting back on the headboard feeling much more relieved she seemed to be feeling a bit better. “Kinda- this stupid support group..well- I thought it was gonna be stupid? But.. it kinda helped me in a way. This um…girl- the head of the group, she said that our task was to see someone you desire this week so uh.. Here I am I guess” I felt my cheeks heating and she smiled bigger. 

“Oh I see, I didn’t know when I invited you I was helping you check off your therapy homework” she teased and rested her head on my shoulder, the smell of her coconut shampoo hitting my senses. I closed my eyes, resting my head on hers comfortably. “Mmhmm- I um…I wanna keep seeing you” I said and she brought my hand to her lips, kissing gently. 

“Good because I want to keep seeing you, as long as we can both be honest with each other and not run away.” She said, kissing each one of my knuckles gently. I smiled at the sweet gesture. “I can’t promise I won’t…but I’m gonna do everything I can to tell you how sorry I am when it happens” I watched as she examined my hand, finger gently brushing over the large scar that was still dark even after a few years time of healing. 

“What happened?” She asked quietly, tracing her knuckle gently over the raised skin. “I uh- kitchen. Knife accident. Long time ago back in one of my first gigs” I said, deciding it was better to not get in to why I had done it- I was emotionally fucked out today say the least, and going in to my previous boss was going to be too much to handle at the current moment. 

“Did you mean what you said earlier on the phone?” She asked, flipping my arm over, the pad of her finger tracing over the snail tattoo on my arm with a light touch causing goosebumps to raise on my skin. 

“What did I say?” I asked, watching as she rubs gently over the letters before tracing the veins of my forearm. She leaned more into me, playing with my fingers in a gentle way that caused me to smile slightly. “That I made you feel loved?” she asked. I swallowed thickly, biting my lip “uh- I- I mean. Like I said. Never like- I just imagined what it would like…to be- it…It was stupid.” I shook my head slightly, closing my eyes in embarrassment.  “Well…I loved reading to you. Did you want to finish eating and…we can see what Edward is getting up to next?” I looked down at her and she was looking up at me, meeting my gaze with hopeful eyes. It felt like my heart skipped a beat in the moment, “that sounds really nice.” I rubbed the top of her head gently.

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

“And Edward didn’t fly back into the cruel boys arms, he didn’t fly forward into the loving arms of Abaline- But instead, he fell to the left, overboard the ship. Edward focused on the sounds of Abalines desperate cries as he flipped and soared through the air into the ocean with a large *splash*, watching the ship slowly pass him by as he momentarily floated atop the waves.

He waited for Abaline, he watched the surface of the water go from blue to black as he continued floating down, and down until he landed face first on the ocean floor. Edward waited. And waited. Unable to see the stars he loved at night, and without his pocket watch, he couldn’t quite be sure how many days had passed- but he knew it had been many, and yet Abaline never came.” 

I shut the book, setting it down next to my lap where he laid and looked down at him. His eyes fluttered open and his brows knitted together adorably in concern. “That wasn’t the end.” He said, more like a statement than a question, causing me to giggle a bit. “No.” I said simply and shrugged. “Ok- well. Keep going then, he needs to get back to her before I can sleep” he closed his eyes again with a smug smile, and I laughed genuinely at his perseverance and interest in the story, continuing to play with his soft blonde curls that had long gone frizzy and were more broken waves over the course of his long day. 

“And what if he never gets back to Abaline?” I questioned and his eyes shot open, glancing up at me nervously. “Don’t say that. She really loves him- she’s gonna be all torn up if she cant get him back” he said and I smiled a bit, finding his concern for the fictional child adorable. “Probably true…I would be realy sad if I were her. But it was fair to say he didn’t love her, right? She's gonna go on and find a bunny that loves her the same way- and it gives Edward the opportunity to realize what Abaline truly meant to him.” I gently rub the pads of my fore and middle finger over his jawline soothingly. “I guess y’re right…he doesn’t really deserve her” he muttered, his eyes fluttering shut at my touch, and sighing softly through his nose. 

“No, it’s not about Edward being deserving of love. For her, It’s about letting someone go that didn’t appreciate her, and for him it’s about learning to appreciate what he has, while he has it- and telling them.” I trace the veins of his neck with a light touch, feeling his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. After a few moments of gently stroking his face he looks up at me. “It feels really good when you do that” he said just above a whisper and a small smile graced my lips. 

“Yeah? My gram used to do this to help me fall asleep.” I said and he hummed. “Mm..’s makin’ me sleepy.” He said, covering his mouth as he yawned before looking up at me. “I don’t wanna wake you up t’morrow. I get up really early.” He said and I ran my hand through his hair again, scratching his scalp gently. 

“Taylor’s in Australia- it’s her last night there, so I’ve been up early like- almost every day this weekend other then Friday when you slept over” I explained and he chuckled, shaking his head a bit, closing his eyes as he rested his head back in my lap. “How the hell are you seeing that?” He asked, nuzzling his face in my tummy tiredly. “Live streams. This girl, Tess. She’s amazing.” I said with a smile before yawning myself, stretching my back and groaning softly at the dull ache. 

“Fuck” I grumble, I should’ve guessed. My period always makes my hip problems worse for some reason. “What’s wrong?” He looked up at me, his voice slightly laced with concern. “Nothin’. Nothin. My back is just a little sore. C’mon let me up - I gotta brush my teeth, and you have to change so we can go to bed, you have an early day” I said and he nodded a bit, sitting up. He took our trash and kissed my forehead gently before heading out to throw it away in the kitchen. I smiled softly at the sweet gesture, standing up and padding into the bathroom. 

I made quick work of brushing my teeth, washing my face, and doing my quick nightly skincare, before slicking on some deodorant. I shut the door to use the restroom, sitting there with my panties around my knees rubbing my face. I should just fuckin’ put a tampon in I already know what’s coming. I sighed to myself, annoyed. I’d been dealing with it since I was 12, but the pain just got more debilitating as I got older. I would wake up throwing up from cramps, no medicine other than THC oil I had even helped slightly dull the pain. 

But I still went to work. I still got up and did everything I needed to do, because I didn’t have the money to call out sick. Even though I would this time of month be in the bathroom throwing up through tears every few hours due to the pain before I started with the heaven sent THC oil. One time I even passed out on the floor (thank god for my embarrassment, we had just closed so no customers came in the bathroom, and I came to before Mel got concerned and came to check on me). 

I grabbed a tampon from the basket sitting atop the back of the toilet, throwing the empty applicator in the garbage before flushing the toilet. I pulled my panties up and washed my hands before opening the medicine cabinet, grabbing my Nauzene, Dramamine, and RSO syringe, before walking back out and putting them on my nightstand. Carm was already there, laid over the covers shirtless in his dark grey sweatpants. I smiled a bit at the beautiful sight. “can we cuddle?” I asked, turning on my fairy lights I left on at night and turning off the lamps, the room becoming much more cozy and comforting.

“Course” he got up, pulling back the duvet for us, before settling back in. I plugged my phone in on the nightstand, clicking on my white noise machine to play my rain sounds before sitting down on the bed. I pulled open the top draw of my nightstand, massaging in some of my milk and honey hand cream in to my arms and hands, before opening my jar of melatonin and taking 2 of the capsules. “Got a pharmacy over there?” He teased with a small smile, motioning to my nightstand with all my medicines waiting for me. I blushed a bit, “yeah I- uh. I get…sick? Sometimes…at night. Just being prepared in case.” I said, rubbing the extra lotion on my elbows before sitting criss- cross next to him. 

“Lay back like you did last time, I liked snuggling like that your hands are warm.” I said and he smiled softly, “yes ma’am” he joked with a smile, laying his left arm out for me once he got settled in. I laid down, bringing my leg up to straddle his waist comfortably and nuzzling my face into his neck, draping my hand over his chest. He rubs my back in slow, long, soothing strokes. “Can I- uh..can I..ask you something” he said softly and I looked up at him, to see him looking at the ceiling with his other arm propped behind his head and the pillow, his forehead wrinkled in the way that told me he was thinking about something intently.. 

“Anything” I replied, my hand resting over his racing heart, and my thumb rubbing small, gentle circles into his skin. “I went to uh..that support thing this afternoon. And the therapist- she said…she said therapy like- hurts before it helps. Is that…is that true?” He asked. I hummed in understanding, resting my cheek on his chest. 

“Yup. It hurts like a bitch to start with. But think of it like…like if you broke a bone and never set it, and it healed that way? You’d have to rebreak it, and the healing process is always worse the second time ‘cause there’s all the scar tissue but it heals way stronger. And you fully know the injury after healing it correctly, so you better know what triggers it and stuff. ” I said, gently running my fingertips along his ribs. His hand found his way under my shirt, rubbing my lower back gently with his palm, before his fingers stopped at the hem of my panties, tucking his the tops in the top of the band without thought. 

“Is it even worth it” he asked, gently stretching the elastic hem with his fingers absentmindedly. “Mmhmm..for sure. It’s never linear though, if you press on a scar hard enough even if it’s healed it’ll hurt.” I explained. “So…I’ll never be really happy? Fully anyway…Even if I went through all this therapy shit?” He muttered.

“Happiness also isn’t linear, Carm. No one is happy all the time. But you can be generally happy with your mental state, if you do the work in therapy. And it’s work. It’s like-“ I look up at him and he meets my eyes. “You’re fucking depressed, Carm. I am, we all are in this fucked up world. It’s like…an active effort to be happy, because our default if you’re a good person which you are is…sad. Sad for everything around us. For the shit we have to face. But- we can do things that bring more happiness to our lives, keep people around that make us happier. And it just means when we get down, that when we feel good we’ll be even more grateful and it’ll feel even more magical” I said and kissed his chest gently, resting my cheek back down against his skin and goosebumps raised under my flesh. 

“Mm…never thought ‘bout it like that, I guess…” he said quietly, gently squeezing my waist. I found the remote under the hem of the blanket before I turned off the tv, setting the controller down on the nightstand and closing my eyes. I nuzzled into his neck, and brought my hand up to gently play with his curls to help me focus on something so my mind wouldn’t run as I fell asleep. After about 20 minutes of calm silence, when my hand had finally stilled due to sleep taking its toll, I heard him mumble “G’night baby” before reaching down and pulling my thigh up more on his stomach, stroking it tenderly.  My hand grazes down his neck, resting over his heart once again “Night, Bear” I said sleepily, a tired smile forming on my lips when I felt his heartbeat quicken beneath my palm.

 I was woken up a few hours later to the unfortunately all too familiar stabbing and throbbing pain throughout my entire abdomen, the stabbing pain was nausea inducing- shooting all the way through my back muscles, as well as stomach brutally. I tried for about 20 suffering, agonizing minutes to fall back asleep, before the overwhelming nausea hit me at full force like a freight train, all at once. I threw my duvet back in a panic, Sephy meowing in surprise as she flung off my hip into Carm’s chest as I hopped up. I had barely made it to the toilet bowl, heaving up all we’d eaten together a few hours prior, silently praying I hadn’t woken Carm up in my mad dash to not be sick all over my bedroom floor. He has work early, the last thing he needs is to be woken up. 

I wretched violently, my stomach panging throughout my hips and back, everything we’d eaten a few hours ago exiting the exact same way it had went in. The pain in my stomach was heightened due to the sheer force of my heaving and I whimpered pathetically between gags, resting my hot, sweaty forehead on my arm as I swallowed down oxygen after the heaving stopped momentarily. I heard the door creak open, silently willing it to be Persephone’s nosy antics before I heard a raspy, sleep laced voice whisper - “Win? Fuck- are you ok? How can I help?” Carm rushed over and kneeled next to me, rubbing my back soothingly. 

“No- p-please- ahh- stop” I gasp at the sharp pain from his simple, light touch “don’t- d-don’t touch me I-it hurts.” I choked out shakily, messily wiping my mouth with a scrunched up bundle of toilet paper and tossing it in the bowl before flushing the toilet, his presence reeling back all the nausea I’d been feeling due to my unending embarrassment of being sick in front of others.

 “I’m sorry- I’m so, so sorry- h-how can I help you?” He asked as I gently lowered myself onto the cold tile, crumpling up pathetically in the fetal position as a hot flash took over like it usually did after I threw up, my whole body shivering uncontrollably as I sweat furiously. 

“Oh- shit oh my god- d-do you need to go to the hospital what is wrong Winnie?” He pleads, his voice laced with worry. 

I groan as my abdomen throbs with a cramp. “C-carmen” I gasp out. “I-it’s my fucking period. You can help me by just shutting up. I can barely think as it is.” I grit out between clenched teeth, eyes screwed shut due to the pain. “Jesus Christ” he muttered. “Please- please- Carmy- please.” I gasp in pain “Get the-the little syringe from m-my” I take a sharp breath at the shooting pain in my back. “The one on your nightstand?” He asked quickly and I nodded weakly, silently thanking god he took notice earlier. 

He was back in a few short moments and offered it to me. I took it, putting a large dose under my tongue and whining slightly at the potent, skunky taste. “Here-“ he left the bathroom and came back with my pink Yeti water cup from my nightstand. I shook my head “it has to sit” I mumbled, closing my eyes. He sits down next to me, slowly stroking my hair. “I didn’t know it…T-that it could get this bad.” 

I sighed shakily when the pain started to subside due to my heavy dose a few minutes later. “Yup” I mumbled, feeling too exhausted to say anything else. “Does it happen like this every month?” He asked, brushing the hair that had escaped my bun during sleep out of my face. 

“Mmhmm” I hum, gently resting my head on his lap, my neck aching from the hard tile. “Well I’m always just across the street if you need help” he said gently. My heart flutters at the kind sentiment. It was a few more minutes before my mind was clear enough from the pain being dulled that I could form my next thought. “you’re a great person, Carm” I said quietly, and he gently stroked my cheek with his knuckle. “I’m glad you think so” he said and I grabbed his hand, gently kissing his tattooed knuckles. 

“It’s a fact” I said gently against his fingers and sighed slightly. “Can you help me up so I can brush my teeth?” I asked, pulling myself into a sitting position. He got up swiftly, reaching out a hand and easily pulling me to my feet. “You good?” He asked, running his hand down my arm gently. “I’m good. Go wait for me, I’ll be in in a second” I said, wetting my toothbrush before putting on some toothpaste.

In a few minutes I was headed back in the bedroom, Carm was laid in the bed comfortably. “Hey” he said his eyes flickering open when I came in. I sat down on the bed, laying down and looking at him “would you…wanna do me a little favor?” I asked shyly, my cheeks heating. “ f’course baby, what do you need?” He sits up on his elbow, facing me and watching me closely. “Could you…um..like- can we spoon and could you rub my belly? It…it still hurts some.. and your hands are really warm and stuff” I said quietly, nibbling the inside of my lip. Would that be too intimate for him? 

“Ye’ baby, f’course” he laid on his side right away, getting his arm situated under my pillow so it wouldn’t fall asleep. “C’mere.” He opened up his other arm. I gingerly nustled in to him, his large warm palm finding its way under my shirt. “Like this?” He asked softly, rubbing gentle even strokes against my lower tummy. “Mmhmm” I breathe a sigh of relief out of my nose and rest my head back on his shoulder.  “Thank you…” I whisper. He kissed my temple “anytime, baby” my eyes fluttered shut, soaking in the feeling of his warmth into my skin. It really was relaxing to my sore muscles, but the intimacy and kindness of the action made it all the more soothing.

I was woken up to the feeling of my Apple Watch buzzing incessently on my wrist 

Taylor on stage 2 mins.

The alarm read. I groaned softly, pressing the side button so it would stop before grabbing my phone and swiping it open via face ID. I found TikTok- after turning down my burning brightness, before typing in Tess’ account, and checking the time in the corner of the screen that read 3:58. I yawned tiredly, nestling my hand under the blanket, to find Carm’s warm, large palm still resting comfortably over my tummy. I turned my volume down slightly, watching the screen as Taylor took the stage, hoping she was in the outfit I’d chosen on Swiftball before Carm got here last night. 

It was about 3 songs into her 3.5 hour set when Carm’s hand shuffles from beneath mine, reaching up to itch his chin, before rubbing face and he clears his throat, sleepily. “Time is it?” He grumbled tiredly into the back of my neck, his voice deep and thick with sleep. “4:08” I replied softly, intertwining our fingers when his hand found its way back to its comfortable spot on my lower abdomen. He groaned a bit, tiredly “fuckin’ already? D’you care if I shower honey?” He asked, squeezing my hand gently. 

I pouted at the idea of him leaving me cold in the bed so soon. “Why do you have to leave so early, Carmy?” I whined a bit, pulling his arm closer, and cuddling it to the side of my neck. “ ‘cause ‘m the only one signing off on the deliveries, baby.I don’t wanna leave ya’either” he said and kissed my shoulder sweetly. I pouted more “you have a super awesome, capable, smart sister - why don’t you split the days with her?” I asked desperately, and in response- he chuckled into my neck softly. “ ‘cause Sugar has a kid in preschool, and another in daycare- honey.” He replied sweetly. 

I sighed dramatically, “Fine, but can you stay just ten more minutes?” I plead and he kissed my jaw sweetly. “Ten, baby- then I’m gettin’ my ass up, deal?” He said and I smiled wide at my small victory, “deal” I kissed his hand sweetly, and he wrapped his other arm around my ribs contently,, pulling me to his chest. “You really woke up this early to watch this?” I felt his smile in the skin of my neck, full of amusement.  

“Yes really-” I replied. “Some people in this house have important, pressing matters to attend to this early, like cuddling super hot Italian guys, and watching High Priestess Taylor Swift perform across the Globe.” I teased and he snorted a laugh in the crook of my neck. “Mmm you’re right. This is important business, princess” he kissed the top of my head tenderly before yawning. 

“Y’didn’t wake up last night - “ I mentioned gently, “well…other then my fault- sorry ‘bout that again. But…I’m glad you weren’t sick cause of a nightmare or s’mthin” I said quietly, my glance shifting to his hesitantly. 

His eyebrows raised in surprise, clearly just noticing himself. “Oh- shit. Yea...Y’re right-. Don’t be sorry, babe- it’s ok” he rubbed my ribs and sweetly and squeezed affirmingly. “Maybe you should sleep over more often,then..” I smiled a bit, leaning in and pecking his lips tenderly. “Maybe I should '' he said softly, brushing his hair from his eyes. “how ‘bout I bring you some lunch, mm’ princess? You’re always comin’ to see me.. I can come to you for once, Y’re workin’ right?” He asked softly and I nodded. “I’m on 11-6. I’d love that, honestly, not much of a selection f’r lunch here to take.” I said with a smile and he nodded a bit. 

“What time’s good?” He runs his hand down my side, gently rubbing his palm over my hip before squeezing the flesh gently. “3…maybe 3:30- that seems like our time, yeah?” I smiled and his hand runs down under my bum, cupping the flesh and squeezing a bit.. “I like that. Our time.” He said and my eyes darted to the screen quickly as the Fearless chords started, and Taylor came out in her ‘Fearless’ era outfit. 

“Damn it! Fuckin bitch” I mutter to myself, causing him to laugh, his hand travelling back up to my waist. “What did she do to you?!” He questioned “fuckin! I voted that she was gonna wear her gold noodle dress so of course she comes out in the fringe gold one!! I swear I haven’t won Swiftball once” I huffed and he shook his head slightly, laughing at my dramatic reaction. “What in the hell is that?” He asked and I looked back at him “the Swifties! We all make bets on the outfits she wears on stage, and whoever gets the closest wins- like the powerball” I explained and he snorted, shaking his head lightly. 

“I gotta shower, angel. You keep tallying up your Taylorball f’r us, mm?” he got up, padding to the bathroom and flicking on the light. “Swiftball!” I called after him, hearing him chuckle as he shut the bathroom door. I laid there for about 10 more minutes watching my phone, before grabbing it and going out into the kitchen. I took out the bear mug for Carmy, and a hello kitty mug for myself, starting his cup first. I remembered how he said he liked it, mixing it together and I heard the bathroom door open just as I was rinsing the spoon in the sink. 

I came back, nudging the bedroom door open with my hip, to see him pulling on his loose jeans over his boxers, hair still wet from the shower, a few beads of water dripping down his chest. I could have dropped both the cups at the gorgeous sight in front of me. “Hey” he said pulling me from my dirty thoughts. “You’re too sweet- y’didn’t have to make me coffee” he said and I smiled a bit, padding over carefully and handing him his cup. “Well you don’t have time for breakfast so…guess it’s the next best thing” I put my phone on the bed, carefully sitting down criss cross. 

He took a sip, humming in satisfaction “Mm, it’s really good babe, thanks” he set it down on the dresser, pulling a plain white shirt out of his bag that I usually saw him in and smiling a bit to myself as I watched him pull it over his head. “You’re cute” I said softly and he snorted through his nose softly in amusement. “You are sleep deprived from staying up until 1 am, and then waking up at 3 and again at 4 to watch Taylor.” He countered, grabbing his mug and sitting down next to me. 

“Oh sure you’re one to talk about sleep deprivation” I teased, grabbing my phone and setting it in my view. “It’s different for me because I’m used to it. It’s just how I operate. I don't need to sleep” he shrugged and I laughed. “Mmm- so not only are you one of the best chefs in the world- you also are the first animal to not need sleep? I really won the genetic lottery with you our kids are gonna be superhero’s” I joked, and he nearly chokes on his coffee. 

“You want kids?” He asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I-I mean…maybe? If I’m..able to have them…I have a lot of…plumbing issues I guess” I said, turning my attention back to my cup. “I’d be a horrible father.” He said and I looked back at him, furrowing my brows. “No, you would not be, Carmen. Why do you say that?” I asked and he rolled his eyes. “Please Winnie. One thing at a time. I can’t even imagine myself dating someone on a regular basis…” he said and I felt my cheeks heat, nodding quickly. 

“I- I’m sorry it…it was a stupid joke. I probably…I was told it’s like a really slim to none chance I can even have kids, anyways so…” I cleared my throat, biting back the large lump with a sharp, thick swallow. “I’d- I’d probably be a shitty mom anyway” I awkwardly laughed a bit, turning my attention back to the screen and sipping my coffee to ease the tension. “I think you’d be an amazing mom” he said a few moments later, my cheeks getting warmer. 

“I’m- I’m too emotional”  I mutter, shaking my head and looking down at my cup. “That’s one of my favorite things about you” he said softly and I met his gaze, my fingers tightening around my cup. “What- what is?” I asked softly. 

“That you…you just say what it is you’re feeling- even if you’re having like..big feelings, and that you aren’t like..scared? Of how I’ll react? Like you just…you say whatever y’re feelin’.” He admitted, taking another sip from his mug. I shrugged a bit “no use lying about how I feel, or what I want- I’d rather someone just rip the bandaid off and leave if they don’t want the same things before I can get attached to them fully.” I said and he nodded a bit. 

“Have you always been like that?” He asked, and I shook my head quickly. “Absolutely not. I used to be the biggest people pleaser. Now I care about myself and my feelings a lot more. Took years of therapy” I said, looking over as Persephone leaped up, and walked over to Carmen’s lap, plopping herself down and purring loudly. “Well hello miss” he said with a smile, scratching her chin and she purred louder causing him to chuckle. 

“Y’sound like a lawnmower, cat” he set his cup down to give her his full attention, and she rolled onto her back, stretching and showing off her belly, causing me to giggle. “Why don’t you have a cat?” I questioned and he shrugged, petting her soft chest gently. “I dunno…never really thought about it before. I’m never home I guess, so not really sure it’d be fair” he said and she started licking his finger gently, causing him to gasp lightly and look over to me. 

“She’s kissing me” he said giddily, almost giggling as she licked over his tattoos. I felt my heart flutter, feeling so enamored by seeing the softer side of him. “Mmhmm, she thinks you’re her baby I guess, she does it to me too even though I am the mother here” I stroked her tail gently and she looks at me giving a sassy ‘brrrow’ before getting up and settling in to his side, where I couldn’t pet her. 

“Wooooow” I laughed. “You takin’ ‘er? Seems like she’s found a new bestie” I joked, causing him to chuckle. “Are you gonna be my new kitchen kitty, Persephone? Mm? I’m sure the customers would love you” he cooed, stroking her back gently. “You’re just too cute- but I gotta get goin’ little fluff, you make it really hard to get outta here I just wanna lay here and cuddle you all day” he tells her sweetly, causing me to smile wide. He would be a fucking amazing dad. He’s so, so sweet when he allows himself to be. 

“Wait- already?!” I realized what he’d said and he looked over “ye’ babe m’ sorry. But 3 right? I’ll be by the store for ya’?” He grabbed my hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing my fingers. “Yeah” I said and pouted a bit. “Here let me give you your coffee to go” I leaned over him, pecking his lips before grabbing his half full mug of coffee from the nightstand and heading to the kitchen.  

I put it in the microwave so it would be hot for him again, getting out my pale green yeti adorned with different stickers from camping trips and I Sadie had taken, and filling it with the once again steaming coffee, sprinkling a little cinnamon on top before closing the lid and coming back to see he’d already gotten his bag together and was dangling one of Sephys toys chuckling a bit whenever she’d dive up to grab it and miss. “Hey- thanks by the way” he said with a smile, taking the cup when I offered it to him and he flings the mouse he’d been teasing her with in the hallway and she darts after it like a bat out of hell causing him to chuckle lightly. 

“I hate that you have to leave so soon” I come and straddle his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and wrapping myself around him like a koala. He chuckled a bit “2 clingy girls in the morning huh?” He teases as Persephone comes back, dropping the mouse at his feet and meowing, begging him to throw it again. “Well when we have the sexiest chef in all of Chicago here, how can we not be?” I kissed him, playing with his damp curls gently. 

His hand trailed up the back of my shirt, rubbing over the scar that went down the side of my ribs and hip gently, leaving a warm trail of goosebumps in its wake. I hummed sweetly into the kiss, opening my mouth for him and he took the invitation, our kiss becoming deeper, heavier, hornier. I moaned softly into his mouth allowing his tongue to dominate mine as he reached down and squeezes my ass before pulling away slightly. I open my eyes. 

“Why don't you taste like cigarettes?” I asked softly and his brows knitted together for a moment “uh- I- I..dunno? I guess…guess I haven’t smoked since I got here” he said and I smiled a bit. “Hm” was all I said and a grin slowly appeared. “Hm what?” He asked, stroking the sides of my thighs gently with his palms. I shrug, “dunno…just thought you smoked a lot.” I said and he snorts “I do. I go through like…god. I used to be a pack a day but now I’m down to like..half, why? You countin’ for me?” He teased. 

“No, but half a pack usually says you’re going out like- mm every other hour? I’ve seen you smoke 3 times, maybe 4. Less then a handful, for sure, cause you look really hot when you do it, so I notice.” I said, playing with the tight curls at the base of his neck gently. “Mm” he hummed, looking at my lips for a moment before leaning in and kissing me again, the sweet, gentle kind of kiss I knew that was going to end with a ‘see you later’ so I tightened my arms around him, dragging it out for as long as I could before he pulled away. 

“Baby” he said quiet but stern, resting his forehead on mine. “Yes bear?” I said sweetly, causing his smile to grow. “I have to go, or the delivery guy is gonna leave all our shit in the back.” He said softly and kisses my forehead, lingering for a moment. “I promise yeah? As soon as Syd gets in I’ll make sure she knows she’s gonna be covering for me for lunch.” He said and trailed kisses down my jaw. My stomach tightened at the idea of potentially putting Syd under more stress for my own selfish desires. 

“Can’t- w-why can’t sugar?” I asked, my voice trembling a bit as he kissed a particularly sensitive spot below my jaw. He chuckled a bit into my skin, his hot breath causing a fire of goosebumps to trail down my neck. “Because Sug is my books girl, and Syd is my right hand honey. She can handle it, I know she can. C’mon baby, up I’m already 5 minutes behind” he pats my bum. 

I sighed softly, getting up and going to my side of the bed, sliding into my slippers and I walked him to the door. Persephone weaves between his legs, plopping down on top of his feet when we stop in the entryway causing him to chuckle. “I’ll be back soon huh snowball?” He leaned down, patting her hip gently. “Take good care of Y’re mom for me if she has any more tummy aches ok?” He told her as he scratched her chin causing me to smile bashfully.  “Get over here you big smush” I said and he stood up straight, wrapping his arms around my waist and giving me one final deep juicy goodbye kiss before pulling away. “3pm, I’ll be seein’ you princess.” He affirmed and I nodded, feeling absolutely enchanted by the romance and domesticity of it all. “3” I repeated, opening the door for him.

𝒞𝒶𝓇𝓂'𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱.🧸 

I practically bounced down the stairs, a small smile on my face. What the fuck was this feeling? I continued asking myself that same question as I fished my cigarettes out of my pocket as well as my lighter, taking a long drag. The light feeling hits my head before I can even slip my lighter into pocket and I exhale, blinking a few times at the sensation. 

I’m pretty sure the last time I got a cigarette buzz is that time in New York I was in the hospital for 3 days and they would not allow me out to smoke. 

I also can’t remember the last time I woke up feeling like this. I didn’t wake up on my own bullshit last night, instead it was Winnie who needed my help. I actually feel…clear headed again? For the first time since I’d - left…Winnie’s on Saturday. 

My heart thumped faster at the realization, why the fuck does she have this effect on me? And why the fuck do I have so many god damn questions this morning? I took another pull of my cigarette, thinking back again to what Winnie said. She remembers what I taste like? I surely remember what she tastes like, I mean- I only fucking imagine it when I’m falling asleep. 

I’d never kissed someone as fuckin’ sweet as her before- in every damn way. From her chapstick that somehow managed to always be present, to her gentle, soft lips, the adorable, delectable little noises she makes when I feel her up. I felt my blood rushing the wrong way and my cheeks heated slightly. How fuckin old am I? Jesus Christ getting semi-hard thinking about making out. Get a grip. 

I sighed softly to myself, thinking about the prep I needed to get done at the restaurant instead. I need to double check the order, I need to take stock of the back freezer, that’s where I put that purple cabbage- I could do cabbage rolls I’d bet she’d get a kick out of a purple lunch. I shook my head to myself, I can’t even keep my mind off her for two seconds it felt. 

I got to the restaurant, just getting the back door unlocked as the delivery driver pounded “sorry- late morning” I muttered as I shoved the door open for him and he goes through to the kitchen, dropping off the boxes at the freezer. “Have a good one” I told him as he passes by with a grunt of acknowledgment, the door swinging behind him and shutting with a slam. 

The sound brings my mind back to yesterday, Sydney’s sharp, cutting words before she left my office. “You will have nothing to worry about me, and my interest in your “personal” life - anymore, heard?”��

I sighed deeply, leaning against the wall and rubbing my face over roughly. “Fuckin, give me a break. Can I just get a break.” I muttered to myself, shaking my head as I mulled over what I could possibly say to try to convince her outside of being her boss I wasn’t the biggest douchebag to ever walk the face of the planet. Nothing that I threw at the wall seemed to stick, whatsoever. Especially considering Sydney’s responses to my pathetic apology attempts before. 

You're right. Your behavior was unacceptable, I’m glad you realize that. 

If you don’t wanna be an asshole- don’t be an asshole. 

I actually tend to agree- you do overreact and have a horrible temper. 

I shook my head, going to the back and changing, leaving my stuff in my locker before coming back out, beginning to put away todays delivery in the fridge and freezer. I got lost in the groove for a while, only being pulled out when I heard the door close and lock again. Fuck. I still have no idea what I’m gonna say to her. I ran a hand through my hair nervously, leaning against the freezer door as I watch my breath in puffs. 

I rested my head against the freezer door, tugging at my hair trying to form at least one noteworthy apology I could come up with. What the fuck am I even apologizing for? Like -

 ‘Hey Syd. Sorry there was a lot of weird sexual tension between us for a few months. I’ve been really horny and frustrated since I moved back from New York, you’re really hot, I’m a manipulative piece of shit- and allowed myself to flirt with you for a while, hard- because I simply wanted to peak my own interest and see if you liked me back. Why? Oh just to stroke my ego! Even though I knew I could never bring myself to jeopardize my friendship with you, or loose the best employee I've ever hired, and likely will ever hire - by a) embarrassing myself with my utter lack of sexual experience, and b) risking the ultimate rejection if you didn’t feel the same - and the worst kind of rejection. Because I’m your fucking MENTOR hitting on my OWN employee and the person who runs ‘HR’ if you were uncomfortable? Oh she just changed my dirty fucking diapers. Totally not a conflict of interest for her on who to side with. Oh! Also- I’m sorry for a few months later- sneaking around your back, and not telling you anything when I started seeing one of your friends- even though we were good friends that told eachother mostly everything just a few weeks before I met her- before I went and fucked it up like everything else of course. Oh!!! and this is all to say- I really want to continue what I had goin’ this morning with said friend of yours, would you mind maybe…staying here for me? handling everything by yourself for an hour while I *hopefully* go get laid later pretty please?” 

“Chef? You here?” Her voice pulls me from my thoughts. I took a deep breath, grabbing my clipboard from the box I’d left it “ye sorry” I said pulling open the door, “the uh- finishin’ the inventory.” I muttered, heading over to the mobile order tablet to see if we had any preorders to fill. “I’m um- about…about yesterday” I looked at her. 

“I’m sorry” I said evenly, “I uh- I’m…I’m sorry. Im sorry for being such a fuckin’ dick lately. I deserved it.” I said she she was a bit taken aback by my apology, something that wasn’t too common coming from me- verbally anyway. 

“Uh…” she blinked a few times. “Yea- yeah. Thank you.” She said, nodding a bit. I sighed a bit, closing my eyes and shaking my head “do you- d’you think you can uh…cover? For me? Today. From 3 to like..probably 4ish” I look at her and she rolls her eyes lightly. “Just know if you hurt her. I’ll know. I’m always watching. Yes. I’ll cover for you. If you bring this” she digs around in her bag, handing over a black dress “back to her so I don’t have to make the extra trip. Tell ‘er thanks again. And also- I want my Prada heels back, I’ve been asking about them for like 3 weeks now and she told me she was holding them ransom until she got this back.” She headed to the back to get changed. 

I held the dress up, looking at it and smiling softly, shaking my head. I went to the office, dropping the dress off in my backpack and seeing a bright green sticky stuck to the side of the desk when I bent over. I grab it, standing up and reading over the note, a large goofy grin taking over my features and blushed, snorting through my nose at the little hearts drawn over the I’s 

You are one sexiii lil’ Italian hunk. Xoxo - ur secret admirer ;) 

I admired her handwriting for a moment, memorizing the details of each little letter. Storing a mental snapshot of it in the back of my mind. I took a tack, sticking it to my little post board that was covered in old notices and bills for the restaurant as well as well past to-do lists, and smiled realizing it was the only splash of color on the board. 

I slip my phone out of my pocket to text her, and see she’d sent me a video as well as a message. I sat down in my desk chair, clicking it open. 

She has NOT stopped - she misses her new bestie 🥺 

I clicked open the video, to see Winnie’s freckled legs splayed on the couch in front of her as she zooms into the front door, where Persephone sat splat in the middle of the hallway, howling. 

“Baaaby girl!!” Her sweet voice cooed, bringing a smile to my face instantly “he had to go to works! He can’t stay home with Mama and play mousey all day with the kittens!” she explained to her, to which the fluffball turned around, meowing in her direction. God, the way she talks to her is so fuckin’ cute. 

“He is a busy important man baby,” she said as the cat pranced over to her, standing on her hind legs and sniffing the camera. “Awww you givin ‘em kisses? That's so sweet my little angel, I miss his kisses too” she said, my cheeks heating and I bit my lip to contain my grin.

“okay you’ve told him how much you miss him and given more kisses- he’s got the coolest restaurant in Chi-town to run, now say bye-bye!” She giggled and the video ended. I sat back in my chair, playing the video twice more over just to hear her voice for a little longer before replying. 

Tell her mamas ‘sexiii little Italian hunk’ can be back for snuggles at 11, if mommy is ok with that, that is 😉 

I hit send before I could think about it, mulling over the words she’d told me this morning. 

No use in lying about what I want. 

I left my phone on the desk, knowing I’d be tempted to pull it out any time I got some random notification from my email or news app to see if she’d texted, and headed back out to the kitchen with the mug she’d lent me, taking a sip and setting it next to the preorder till, scrolling through and accepting the orders for the day. 

Sydney was over at her station next to me, chopping grapes for the welcome broth, looking over when I set the mug down. “Is that-“ she said and I looked up from the tablet, seeing her staring at the mug. “Dude.” She looks at me, heat finding its way back to my cheeks. “I don’t even know why I’m worried about her. You’re the one that’s gonna be getting yourself hurt here.” She shook her head, smiling dryly to herself as she went back to cutting the grapes into even fourths. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, the statement coming out a bit more defensive then I’d meant it to. “It means - I know you, Carm. And this is the same bullshit that happened with Claire.” She said matter-of-factly. I scoffed slightly, “she is not fucking Claire. You should know that, better than anyone else.” I rolled my eyes slightly at the mere idea anyone could ever compare the 2 of them. 

“I know she’s not Claire. But I know who you are, Carmen. And the second you fuck up here, a fuckup you can’t just scramble and fix? You’re gonna blame her. And guess what?” She sets her knife down. “Just like you did with Claire, you’re gonna run away- but this time, instead of having Winnie fall to your feet like Claire did, begging for you to be with her, Winnie is going to drop you and cut you out faster than you can even imagine. She doesn’t fuck around with people who can’t appreciate her anymore.” She pushed the grapes into the bowl and wiped down her board with a kitchen towel. 

“She’s different though, Syd, that’s why I don’t feel like running. It’s honestly…” I shook my head, turning my attention back to the till to avoid her gaze. “It’s fucking terrifying.” I said quietly, rubbing my wrist nervously. “I’m…I’m gonna try. Okay?” I looked at her and she nodded slightly, but the look behind her eyes said she didn’t believe it. 

“Give it your best,” she turned her attention back to the garlic she was now mincing. “I also don’t even think you really know what you’re getting into, but hey-” She shrugged curtly “you’re the boss, right” she said, and I felt my chest tighten. This entire situation was becoming more, and more difficult to navigate as it became more intense due to the simple fact my right fuckin hand isn’t wanting to cooperate.

Syd is my emotional rock at work- which was essentially my entire life, so the way she is refusing to guide me is going to cause this to end up crashing and burning, horribly. 

“Jesus Syd. Will you cut the bullshit. Fuckin- when have I ever thrown that shit in your face?! I respect you, Sydney. I respect the work you do here, and even more I respect you as a fucking friend. Yes, I am a fuckin’ jagoff a lot of the time. I have a short fucking temper, I take it out on you- be-because I” she stared at me, silently waiting for me to finish. 

I swallowed thickly, closing my eyes and reeling the words I really wanted to tell her back down my throat. One night with Winnie was fantastic, but it wasn’t so emotionally unveiling that I’d admit to one of my closest friends that I love having her in my life and genuinely believe her advice. 

“Because- I know…I know you are better then I am, Syd. I see so fucking much in you. I’m harder on you then any other person, because I know you could do this better than I could. And I…I know I’m a fuckin’ mule when it comes to advice about the restaurant but- in life? With..like being a fuckin’ friend and shit? Y’know…like…being- being a whole person.” My voice trailed off at the end and she stares at me, jaw slightly open. 

“Uh…” she said softly, blinking a few times, “thank- thank you. Thank you. For the apology” she went back to mincing the garlic and my eyebrows furrowed. “Apology?” I asked. “The first real apology you’ve ever given me. That is how you apologize, you know that, right? You stated the behavior, admitted you know it was wrong, agreed you were acting shitty, were honest about why you act the way you do, and affirmed me that I do mean something in your life” she said, scraping the garlic into the bowl with her knife. 

“There’s a structural way to give an apology?” I questioned, taking another sip of coffee that was still nice and hot due to the travel mug it was in, I’d need to get one of these for myself. She snorted at my response, a smile finally coming to her face. “You have a lot to learn from Winnie. Shes gonna therapy your ass out. Maybe this is a good thing, she can teach you somethin’ “ she took the bowl, heading over to the stoves where a large pot she’d set out was waiting for her. 

“Yup..she’s already started, you can probably tell though” I began taping up the first orders of the day for Ebra at the order prep station. “You think I can’t tell?” She asked and I smiled a bit, looking back at her. “What? Am I that juvenile that you can tell when I have a crush?” I joked and she laughed a bit. “Well, yes. But also- I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without dark circles. You’ve clearly been sleeping better since you started seeing her.” She poured in the onions she’d been chopping before I came in into the hot pot, beginning to sauté them with a wooden spoon. 

“Have you slept over her house? I swear she has like…” I smiled a bit, taping up the last order up on the metal shelf “a fuckin’ method for going to bed dude. Like- she has this..this-“ “noise machine” we said at the same time and she giggled a bit. “I’ve had many sleepovers there. She’s high maintenance with her bedtime routine.” She said and I snort. “Routine” I muttered, walking over to the ice machine and checking the log to be sure Richie cleaned it as promised. 

“That’s probably why you can’t sleep- what do you do before bed usually?” She asked, pouring in the grapes and garlic to cook down when the onions were soft enough. “Uhhh” I think for a moment. “Well- I get home. Shower. Eat a sandwich, then turn on some cooking show and pass out on the couch before the first commercial” I headed back to the fridge to grab a few loaves of dough out for Marcus that I knew he’d be needing when he got in.  “That’s the reason, and you wonder why your back is totally fucked” she called after me. I came back with the dough “no, not really. Just like to complain” I teased, setting the dough down on his station for him so it would proof before he got in.

I wasn’t able to get back to the office to grab my phone and cigarettes until around one, leaning against the wall and lighting it before taking out my phone to see a text from Winnie that had been timestamped at 9:50. 

This mamas will take a sexy Italian hunk in her bed any night of the week 😚 

I smiled, shaking my head amusedly and sending a response. 

What r we feelin for lunch today? 

It wasn’t more than a few minutes of leaning against the brick, thinking about the prep I needed to finish for next rush, before my phone buzzed against my leg again. I fished it out of my pocket, clicking on the text icon. 

I’m SO glad you asked. I've been stalking your menu online all day- I wanna try the chicken picatta, but can you do pasta + extra garlic in it for meeee 🥹?

I smiled at the choice of emoji, texting back with my thumb quickly. 

Gotchu babe 

I finished my cigarette, sliding my phone in my pocket and stepping out the butt before heading back inside. 

At around 2:30 I started making our lunch, “did I miss a ticket Chef?” Ebra asked, watching as I dropped the pasta in the boiling water. “No- no. All good Ebra keep up your pace. This is f’r me and a…a friend” I mixed it around with the spoon before grabbing 2 to go containers for us. 

“You’ve been seeing your friend a lot ‘eh?” He smiled a bit, continuing to braise the short rib order he was working on. “I have” I nodded, setting the containers down next to my station on the counter. “She’s uh…a good person to be around.” I said adding the lemon in to the sauce. “You seem…more pleasant.” He said, causing me to chuckle. “Y’sayin im an asshole most the time?” I teased and he shook his head with a small smile.  “Some of the time, but less of the time since your…friend.” He said and plated the order, calling it out as he slid it down for the servers. By the time I’d packed up our lunch, and made it back to the office it was 2:54, perfect timing. I put on my jacket, stuffing my cigarettes and lighter in my pocket and headed to the bookstore.

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

“No no I think we have to flip it” Sadie said and I gasped, “you are so so fucking smart oh my god the biggest brain ever!!” I laughed, turning my phone back around the right way and screenshotting the photo of the cryptic, scrambled, backwards looking letters Taylor had posted on TikTok. The store was empty, had been for the past hour. The gloomy day out wasn’t helping the case of any possible tourists wandering, or our regulars stopping by. 

“Oh my god shut up” I gasped as I read it “stop!! Evermore and Folklores triplet!” I squealed happily, patting her arm quickly in excitement. “Bitch. Oh my god this is insane” she shook her head in disbelief, a wide smile as she hovered over my shoulder reading along as I swiped the next one, doing the same process of screenshotting before flipping the image.

The bell above the door dinged and we both looked up Simultaneously, “Carm!” I said, hopping off the stool and bouncing over excitedly to give him a big hug. I nuzzled my face in his neck, wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders kissing his exposed skin gently. “Hey Win” he said softly, rubbing my back gently. I crane my neck up at his towering frame, looking at him with a large smile “guess what” I said excitedly. 

“What?” He asked with an amused smile, looking down at me adoringly.  “Taylor posted new fuckin’ lyrics!! And they’re SO sad!! C’mon-“ I took his hand, lacing our fingers together swiftly. I look over my shoulder as we passed the font counter “Takin’ lunch- if I go over 30 and it gets busy, come get me” I told Sadie. “ Doubt it’ll get busy this time of fay, Have funnn” she said in a sing-song voice, wiggling her eyebrows and I rolled my eyes playfully, dragging him to the back office and shutting the door. 

“Hey” I smiled and he put the brown paper bag on the desk, wrapping his strong, calloused hands around my waist. “Hey baby” he leaned in, kissing me sweetly and cupping my cheek. My heart warmed at the gentle gesture, relishing in the feeling of his rough skin and gently resting my hand atop of his much larger one, curling my fingers against his palm. My eyes fluttered open when he pulled away, and I kissed along his jaw gently. “How’s work?” I ask softly, wrapping my arms around his shoulders loosely as I pepper him in sweet gentle kisses. 

“It’s goin’ ” he ran his hands down to my bum and squeezed, causing me to smile into his skin, and gently graze the corner of his jaw with my teeth, nipping playfully. He hummed “you need to behave yourself- your friends out there baby” he said quietly as to not alert her, slipping his hands into my back pockets, his thumbs hanging in the back belt loops of my jeans. 

“Who said I’m not behaving?” I whispered in his ear and gently tugged the lobe with my teeth. He inhales deeply. “It’s time to eat��� he took his hands out of my pockets, spanking me with his left hand lightly but sharp, causing me to giggle. “Someone’s in a mood today” I teased, grabbing the bag and plopping on the couch in the corner. 

“A mood” he repeated with a smile, sitting down next to me. I crossed my legs over one another casually, taking out one of the two boxes from the bag and handing it over to him. “A bossy mood” I said teasingly, taking out my own box and dumping the remaining silverware and napkins out of the bag into my lap, handing him one of the little plastic pouches as well as half the napkins.  

“Mmm…you say bossy, I say time conscious” he countered and I snorted lightly opening up my white styrofoam container. “ooooo” I said excitedly at the look and smell, looking over at him, beaming in admiration. “it looks soo good Carmy, you spoil me. Thank you, truly. This is so much better then anything I ever could’ve brought.” I leaned over, pecking his lips gently and he smiled

 “Any time babe it’s nothin crazy, just my job” he said and I opened my silverware, pulling out the plastic fork. I said a silent ‘please let this look kinda normal?’ Prayer, before cutting up my chicken. “You’re the best at your job.” I said, huffing slightly when the pieces came out absolutely mangled. 

He laughed “babe- what the fuck are you doing to that chicken?” He asked and I blushed slightly, pouting out my lip and looking over to him. “Stooooppp” I whine. “I hate cutting food. I always fuck it up it looks like a fuckin’ kid did it” I said, twirling up a piece of chicken defeatedly with some of the pasta underneath. “It’s not that hard honey, I can teach you if you want” he said and I rolled my eyes, taking a bite. 

I hummed happily at the lemon, garlic, herby goodness dancing over my tongue, and rested my head back on the couch, closing my eyes. “fuck. Oh my god Carm.” I look at him “this is amazing” I said and he chuckled. “Say say that every time I make you something.” He said and I shook my head, going in for another bite. 

When we had finished eating about 15 or so minutes later, and it wasn’t long after that before I was straddling his lap, and we were heavily feeling eachother up as we exchanged needy, sloppy kisses. I gently tugged on his curls, whimpering softly as he slowly ran his tongue against mine. I felt his hand on the back of my head, pulling me in to kiss me harder. My grip on his hair tightened, pulling a bit harder earning a moan into my mouth that caused me to smile against his lips. 

I hummed against him gently, moving my tongue against his, fighting for control. After about a minute or so, he finally let me have what I wanted. I pressed my chest against his, feeling his hands slowly travel up to my hair, playing with the ends gently hesitantly. I ran my tongue against his, thinking about the interesting taste of the lingering tastes on his tongue and trying to decipher them. 

Cigarettes- obviously, lemon, garlic…maybe cape- my thoughts are quickly interrupted with the feeling of his large hand gripping the base of my neck, his fingers intertwining between large strands of my hair and a sharp pull, causing our lips to suddenly disconnect, a short gasp leaving my lips at the demanding action. 

A small string of saliva connected us for a moment before his tongue darted out over his nearly kiss-bruised lips. “What you said this morning about…about saying what you want” he said softly, his voice husky and low. 

I nodded quickly, my core twitching and throbbing, imagining what he was going to say next. I would do absolutely anything he asked. I needed him so intensely at the current moment, that I was nearly sure I would have to change my tampon again from my gushing arousal when he eventually had to go.

“I-“ he took a sharp, quivering breath as I grind against his crotch with an achingly slow, hard circular movement of my hips, kissing and nipping his neck gently, I could tell the friction was driving him insane. 

“Fuck- I-I want you to suck my cock, h-here. Now. Right now” he said, his voice needy and breathy. I bit my lip to contain a grin. “Yeah? Sure baby, I’d love to” I grabbed a pillow without another thought, plopping it on the floor in front of his feet and getting on my knees, tying my long auburn hair back swiftly into a low bun with the hair tie I kept on my wrist for emergencies.  

I gently stroked his thighs, looking up at him intently. I felt the anxiety radiating off of him, even among the thick tension of desire that was lining the room. “ ‘s ok, baby, Sadie won’t come back here unless the building is literally on fire.” I affirmed gently, feeling him slightly relax a bit under my slow, steady strokes up and down the length of his muscular thighs. 

“Y’re so fuckin’ beautiful, honey. Fuck. Y’re so fuckin perfect.” He muttered, I bit my lip gently, tightening my thighs together to try and gain some friction that would ease the ache in my core. “May I?” I asked gently, my hand finding his belt buckle as I wouldn’t tear my eyes from his locked gaze and tugging gently. 

“Do whatever, baby, please.” He gently brushed my fringe from my eyes gently, running his hand back behind my head, lacing his fingers into my hair firmly. My eyes flicked to his belt buckle, my fingers trembling slightly in anticipation as I slipped the leather free, the light jingle of the metal causing my throat to bob in a thick swallow. 

I wondered what his belt would feel like if he spanked me with it, if he would leave marks if I asked him to... 

I gently undid the button of his pants with light hands, my eyes trailing down, admiring his frame, landing on his abdomen. I slid my hands up his thighs achingly slowly, pushing up the hem of his white shirt with my thumbs, exposing his chiseled stomach. With gentle fingers, I led teasing strokes up his v line gently with the pads of my silky digits. I felt goosebumps rise under my touch, a small smirk gracing my features.  “y’know what’d be so fuckin’ sexy, baby? Like…it’d make me insane?” I asked in a sultry tone. 

My gaze didn’t break his as I pushed his shirt higher, exposing his abs and leaning down, licking a thick, hot stripe along the chizled line. I felt his stomach muscles tightening under my tongue gently, and he let out a soft whimper. “W-what baby?” He questioned, tugging on my hair gently. My eyes flicker up to his, a frisky smile on my lips. 

“It would be so fucking sexy if you had hip tattoos” my fingers brush along his hip bones before leaning down and leaving a trail of kisses over each hip. His breathing got heavier beneath my touch, my hand trailing up and brushing over his abs. 

I kept my eyes locked on his as I raked my nails lightly over his muscular torso causing him to shiver slightly, adorable. I planted an open mouth kiss right below his navel. “F-fuck- I’ll think ‘bout it babe, c’mon, it’s 3:29” he said, glancing at the clock and I giggled, amused at his obsession with keeping time.

“Soo bossy” I hummed, “you need to close your eyes, and trust me. I promise, here” I set my phone next to me “I’ll keep track of time, let me help you relax baby” I kissed his hip tenderly. He nodded a bit, resting his head back and closing his eyes. 

“I usually wouldn’t ask- but please” be quiet.” I said, reaching my hand in his boxers and pulling his hard length free of the fabric, pushing his chefs slacks down out of my way as much as I could. He snorted, looking down at me. “Y’know, I could easily revert to my old ways and say nothing when I fuck you, would you rather that?” I raised my eyebrows in surprise, a smirk coming to my face. 

“I love this new attitude you’ve taken on, Bear” I licked a hot wet stripe with the pad of my tongue from the base vein of his thick member to the tip and his head dropped back, blue eyes fluttering shut in bliss. “Y’re so fuckin’ good at that” he muttered. “You have such a nice cock” I said quietly, admiring it in my hand before taking the tip in my mouth and humming at the salty, slightly bitter taste of his precum coating my tongue. 

His hand finds the back of my head again and he pushes firm but not harsh, causing me to sink down a good three inches “there” he breathed out. I stroked the bottom third firmly as he liked, starting a good rhythm as I bobbed my head up and down. I hollowed out my cheeks, earning a soft grunt from him. 

I looked up at him through my eyelashes, his head was fallen back on the couch, the veins in his neck bulging with pleasure, jaw tight, breathing rigid. I quickened the pace with my hand, along with my mouth and he tugs his bottom between his lip hotly, eyes screwed shut. My other hand trails up his abdomen, tracing the curve of the hard muscle beneath my skin. 

His muscles twitched and contracted beneath my gentle touch, taking a sharp breath as I came up and flicked my tongue quickly over his tip and I felt his cock twitch in my hand. I gently pump him, twisting my hand slightly around his length with the firm grip he preferred, removing my mouth from him. “Carmy” I said softly, my hand splaying over his tight stomach and rubbing strokes back and forth over his hips. 

His eyes fluttered open and he looked down at me, gasping lightly at the sight. My lips were no doubt swollen and glistening with saliva. “I want you to look at me when you cum, I think it’s hot” I said and he swallowed thickly, nodding a bit “yeah baby… I gotchu” he said and I smiled a bit, looking up at him through my eyelashes as I took his tip in my mouth. 

I slowly sank down to meet my hand half way, working my tongue around his length as I hollowed my cheeks. “Y’re so fuckin’ pretty on your knees f’me baby” he said softly, stroking the back of my head with his thumb gently.

My core throbs, aching in desire with the added praise. But in my current condition I’d never let him do anything with me, I’d rather just handle it on my own at home. I could not wait to get home after this was over to get some relief. 

I felt his length twitching and tightening in my mouth around my tongue, I lick a hot wet stripe up to his tip, flicking my tongue over the sensitive pink as I worked my hand in a way that made his stomach clench and his hand that wasn’t in my hair was holding a white knuckled grip on the cushion next to him. 

“Fuck, fuck thats it- good fuckin’ girl” he grunted out as he shot thick white stripes of pleasure all the way to the back of my tongue. I hum in satisfaction at the taste and watch as his head falls back, eyes fluttering shut as he pants. I swallowed the hot salty liquid, gently fixing his pants and buttoning them as he caught his breath. 

He continues to watch me, cheeks flushed and pink, pupils blown wide with pleasure, chest rising and falling softly. “Y’re fuckin’ amazing y’know that, right baby?” He asked and I smile proudly, plopping in his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck loosely. 

“So I’ve heard” I joked and he leaned in, kissing me passionately. He hums gently at the taste of himself on my tongue, I smiled into the kiss, playing with his curls gently that were now slightly damp with sweat from the encounter. When he pulled away he gazes up at me. 

“Y’don’t have to swallow that shit, tasted awful” he said and I slap his chest playfully “does not! Your cum doesn’t taste bad, it’s one of the better I’ve tried actually” I said with a giggle and he rolls his eyes, shaking his head playfully. “You are somethin’ “ he tucks my hair behind my ear, smoothing out the back where he’d no doubt made a mess of it. 

I reach up, tugging the bun free and putting the hair tie back on my wrist. “I could say the same thing about you, never had a guy willingly kiss me after I blew him.” I leaned in to his chest. He scrunched his eyebrows a bit, “really?” He asked and I nod a bit “mmhmm” I hummed. “Why?” He asked and I shrug a bit. “ ‘dunno. The only guy I asked just said it was disgusting but it comes from your body so..and I think it’s hot.” I said. 

“Those guys sound like total pussys.” He said, smiling slightly and pulling me in for another kiss. Were interrupted by his phone ringing and he pulled away slightly, grabbing it from his jacket pocket. 

“Shit” he muttered to himself “hold on honey, I have to take this- it’s Syd” he clicked the answer button and held the phone up to his ear, since we were so close I could hear exactly what was being said. 

Carm? Hey.. uhh- ok so d’you know that like cater order that was placed yesterday on ubereats? 

She sounded very nervous. 

“Yeah- everything is prepped and set, all we had to do was warm it up. It should've been gone 45 minutes ago. What’s wrong” he demands. 

So like- I went on the tablet to check on it like to- to double check everything while it was heating up and I realized that it said it was canceled? And so.. so I was like that’s not right and I called the customer and asked if she canceled it and she got so so pissed like she starts screaming saying how this is for a business conference a-and I can’t.. I can’t get ahold of the people at Uber- I’m fucking up- I’m fucking it all up Carmen. 

He closes his eyes as she rambles on, taking a deep breath and rubbing over his face roughly as he thinks. “I’m on my way back, go in the fuckin’ office and take a breather. Someone fucked up but it wasn’t you.” I got off of his lap and smooth down my hair quickly, gathering the trash to throw away while he finished the conversation. “I’m sorry baby” he told me when he hung up. 

I shake my head slightly “No! No need to be sorry babe- Go be the boss, Syd needs you, are you coming over tonight?” I asked hopefully and he smiled slightly, putting his phone in his pocket “I can if that’s what Persephone wants” he teased and I rolled my eyes with a smile, walking up and wrapping my arms around his middle. 

“Well I guess it’s settled then, I was afraid she was gonna wake up the baby a few doors down” I giggle and he chuckled a bit, leaning down and kissing my lips sweetly. “I’ll be in around 12 or 1 cause a’this, that alright?” He asked and I nodded. “See you then, good luck” I said and he kissed my forehead sweetly before heading back to The Bear.

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

#the bear fic #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto fanfiction #the bear fx #the bear hulu #carmen berzatto fluff #carmy berzatto #carmy berzatto fanfiction #carmen berzatto smut #the bear fanfiction #carmy the bear #carmy x oc #carmen x oc #carmy berzatto x oc #carmen berzatto x oc

[toxicanonymity]

Michael Myers in Ambrose

2k words | Michael Myers x f!Reader | NSFW

It's International Fan Works Day Feb 15 with the theme of crossovers. This puts Michael Myers in a House of Wax AU where Bo Sinclair wears a one-piece mechanic suit and Michael needs a new one.

Michael hangs Bo's jumpsuit over the bed of the truck, then unlaces his own boots and steps out of them.  When Michael stands back up, he unzips his own jumpsuit.  You're captivated.  His big arms emerge and you can see his pecs under a navy undershirt similar to Bo's. They both look slutty with their muscles stretching their too-small shirts. 

Michael rails you after the gif while Bo is unconscious. And you do enjoy it.

18+ Noncon, manhandling

If you already read this unabridged & unbetaed on AO3 I'm sorry it was so bad lol.

If you're wondering about the logic of Michael being there, originally the bf was John Tate from H20 and y'all were on a road trip and Michael followed but it was a hot mess.

-----------------

"Ya need a fan belt. . . Is that so?" Bo smiles broadly and looks down, bemused. His sleeves are rolled up and his bronze forearms flex as he crosses his arms.  "Where'd your boyfriend go?"  

"He went for help. He thought he saw someone in the wax museum, so he followed them in." 

Bo looks at you like that's the most interesting thing he's ever heard.  "And he left you all alone here,  huh?"  He turns his head and spits out his toothpick, then steps even closer, closing the gap between you.  He smells like sweat and oil and man.  He cradles your chin with a grimy hand.  Your lips are only a few inches from his. "How bad do you need it?"

The blood drains from your face, then shamefully pools somewhere lower.  You say nothing.  You  look over your shoulder like your boyfriend is going to come back any minute.  On the back of the pick-up truck, a sticker catches your eye, the silhouette of a pin-up with her knees spread. 

 "He ain't coming back, darlin," Bo says, grinning.  His pearly teeth are quite the contrast to his dirty face.  "I'll help you out though, I will," he says softly.  He brings his lips to your ear, pressing his cheek against yours.  "Just be a good girl for me."  That sends a tingling rush to your core and you're frozen. Your heart races. 

Bo pulls back to see your facial expression.  He laughs to himself then looks you up and down again, letting the silence linger. "Okay, I can get you a fan belt.  I was just fixin’ to close up, though,"  he says. He goes to the rolling door and starts to close it, but it gets stuck.  His uniform hugs his shapely ass as he bends down with it and tries with all his weight. The door won't close, though.   

A large, rough hand stops the door at the bottom.  Then, the hand begins to push it back up.   At first, you assume it's your boyfriend, until you see the huge work boots.  Bo struggles against the hand and you can only see little by little.  You can tell from the legs it's an imposing man.  Bo grunts as he pushes it down.  The door creeps up a little more and you can't help but notice whoever he is is packing.  He also seems to be another mechanic, but something is strange.  One side of his suit is tattered and covered in something. 

The door keeps lifting, revealing more of this huge man - his broad chest, a thick arm.  One side of his collar is popped and the other is glued down by a mess of wax.  Bo gives up and  watches the man in awe, hands on his hips, waiting to see what he wants.  The door finishes rolling up, and instead of a face, you see the mask of Michael Myers. He should be dead, but the sinister air about this man leaves no doubt in your mind that it's really him.    

Michael stands patiently with his hands to his sides and subtly wiggles the fingers of one hand.  Bo looks confused.   Maybe the folks out here in Ambrose hadn't even heard of Michael. Michael turns toward you.  

Bo says, "Hey man, who-" but Michael cuts him off with a huge hand around his throat, then forces him against a wall of tools.  Bo reaches out and grabs a huge wrench off the wall and his  forearm flexes desperately as he thumps Michael in the head with it.  Michael staggers back, disoriented.    

Bo lunges for you and to your surprise says,  "come on, Darlin" as his large, dirty hand grabs yours.  He covers your body and tries to get you to the office door.  

Michael grabs Bo by the fabric of his suit and throws him against the truck. They struggle, but Michael puts Bo in a sleeper hold until his body goes limp. He's unconscious.  

Michael seems to have forgotten about you.  You stand there frozen, afraid to make any sudden moves.

Michael pins Bo against the truck with his hips and starts undressing him, exposing Bo's tan, muscular biceps.  Michael has the jumpsuit half off him when he lets the dead weight slump to the ground.  He takes off Bo's shoes and removes the jumpsuit completely.  As the jumpsuit slides over Bo's boxers it briefly hitches on what appears to be a massive erection.  Michael had to have felt it against him when he pinned him to the truck.     

Bo is left with only a navy undershirt and engorged boxer briefs.  With his arms and legs bare, you're struck by how strong he is. If Michael was able to overpower Bo with relative ease, he could surely snap you in half like a twig. 

Michael hangs Bo's jumpsuit over the bed of the truck, then unlaces his own boots and steps out of them.  When Michael stands back up, he unzips his own jumpsuit.  You're captivated.  His big arms emerge and you can see his pecs under a navy undershirt similar to Bo's. They both look slutty with their muscles stretching their too-small shirts. 

When Michael lowers the zipper below belt-level your eyes are drawn back to his crotch.  You feel a pang of anticipation in your throat.  He pulls down the jumpsuit and, oh my.  His underwear is tight enough to leave no doubt that he's very aroused. Something flutters in your core. He lets the jumpsuit fall to the floor.  

Michael lazily takes Bo's uniform off the truck and starts putting it on.  He has to push down on the hardness of his briefs with one hand to be able to zip up.  God, that makes you so wet. He's left with an obnoxious bulge.  The arms are a little tight on him, too.  Your unwelcomed arousal intensifies.  Finally, both his hands come to the collar and pop it up so it frames the mask.  He looks so imposing and striking that you audibly gasp.  

Michael abruptly looks in your direction.  You think about running, but you don't move.  He  walks toward you slowly.  You can't take your eyes off his bulge.  He seems to notice, because when he stops within arm's reach of you, he looks down at himself before he looks back up and grabs you by the throat and jaw.  

Michael lifts you several inches off the ground.  You try to scream, but you're choking.  He pivots toward the back of the pick-up truck.  Your limbs flail as he holds you with one hand and uses the other to unlatch the tailgate in one swift motion and put it flat.  He slams you face down onto the bed of the truck. You get up on your knees enough to start  crawling away, toward the cab of the truck, but you don't get far before he jerks you back down toward him.  His hands wrap around your hips and pull you to the edge.

Your shirt rides up and cool metal chills your abdomen as Michael slides your thighs off the tailgate and your feet kick for the ground.  He unbuttons your jean shorts then sends them to the floor.  You try to move, but a massive hand on your back slams you back down as his other hand gropes you and the pressure of his middle finger wedges your thong into your ass. He pries your legs open from behind. 

Your drenched thong barely covers anything.  Michael easily pushes it aside.  You feel his digits slide against your folds and you're humiliated by how wet you are.  A thick finger plunges inside you and you grunt.  He fucks you with two fingers for a few seconds then withdraws his hand and begins to unzip himself.  At the sound of his zipper, your cunt thirstily replaces whatever moisture he took with him.  You silently curse yourself, then accept you're going to need it. 

You're face down on the bed of this truck, ready for the taking, and you can feel Michael Myers looking at your exposed ass like a piece of meat.   You glance back and see his jumpsuit fall down and hang around his ass.  Then, within seconds you feel his shaft pressing hot and hard against your crack. I mean, rock-hard.  His jumpsuit presses against the back of your legs.   He spreads your  thighs with his knee and lays a massive hand on the small of your back, holding you steady on the flatbed of the truck.  You tilt your hips to give him better access to your cunt, telling yourself it's that or your ass. 

A few seconds later, you feel the tip of his cock at your entrance.  It's big.  You feel it against your inner thighs, too.  He huffs as he pushes the head inside and you wince as it stretches you. .  The stretch initially hurts, but you're so wet that it starts to feels good.  You can't deny part of you wants to be filled even more. He puts both hands on your hips for leverage,  then shoves more of himself inside.   He pauses for only a second then jerks you back on his shaft and sheaths himself entirely in your poor little cunt.  He retreats a little, then thrusts again, hitting that spot deep in your core.  Your shirt rides up more and your belly button ring scrapes against the metal of the flat-bed.  

He reaches down and grips your thighs.   He holds you face-down like a wheelbarrow at the end of the truck, using your thighs to pull you back deeper, harder.  You slide against the cold metal, your belly button clinking.  Each thrust seems deeper than the last until he can't possibly fit any more of himself.   He fucks you slowly, and you feel a knot forming in your core.  You find yourself actively meeting his thrusts.  He speeds up and you feel hotter, weaker, more desperate, ready to unravel.  You're on the edge of climax when his hands tighten around your thighs and you're jolted back into him, harder than ever. 

The tension in your core explodes all at once.  As you see stars, you clench tight around him, your whole body tensing every few seconds.  Then, as you're still riding guilty waves of pleasure, you feel him pulse violently into you, and you're pumped full of his hot cum.  Michael breathes heavily in his mask.  You lie there weak and deflated, catching your breath.  

He shoves you almost all the way back onto the bed of the truck for safe keeping while he zips up. Your feet still dangle off and you're still face down.   You hear a series of loud thuds as the truck dips under his weight.  Michael stands still, feet straddling you. You finally flip over on your back and watch him loom over you.  He crouches down between you and the cab of the truck.   You lift your chest and head up and he grabs you  under the armpits and drags you, leaving a snail trail of cum, until you’re up against the cab.  He gently positions your legs so you’re in the same pose as the pin-up silhouette on the sticker.  

-

Michael leaves the garage wearing Bo’s uniform. Your face is hot and your eyes well up, but you stay posed like that for some reason. After a few minutes, you hear rustling from the ground and finally leave the artful pose to get on your knees and peer over the side of the truck

Bo is alive.  He squints up at you and brings his hand to the back of his head.  "What happened, Darlin'?" You feel the strangest urge to take care of him.  

-

#Michael Myers x You #House of Wax AU #michael myers smut #non-consensual #michael myers x reader #ifd2023 #ifdchallenge2023 #toxicanonymity ☠️ #michael myers fanfic #bo sinclair fanfic #slasher fucker #slasher fanfiction

[siancore]

Okay, fun SamBucky ask game!! Send this to five other people to keep it going ✨ Say one of your favorite things about SamBucky, your favorite SamBucky headcanon, or write a tiny microfic. Have a wonderful day!! 💕

I love them because of their chemistry. There’s just something really palpable between them when they’re on the screen together. I also love them because of the way they end up in one another’s orbits. I love the banter, but also the genuine care and respect Sam and Bucky have for one another. Anyhoo, I wrote this. I’ll definitely look at expanding on it if my Dear Readers are interested.  Divorce Era SamBucky because we are in it right now. Enjoy!

The throbbing in Sam’s head had grown stronger with each passing moment. He was over their conversation. Bucky was leaving and there was nothing left to say. Sam just wanted to take the Paul & Darlene out on the waters and feel sorry for himself in peace.  

“Why’re you still here?” 

“Sam, please don’t be like that.” 

“Like what? Upset?” asked Sam, noticing that Bucky had the decency to look sheepish. “I don’t have time for this.” 

He went below deck, and Bucky followed him, reaching out to take hold of Sam’s upper arm. Sam pulled away. 

“Please, Sam,” said Bucky, causing the other man to turn and face him. “Don’t I get to explain myself?” 

“Oh, I think you’ve made yourself pretty clear here.” 

“Sam.” 

“And don’t I get to be upset, uh? Don’t I get to be pissed off at you?” 

“Sam.” 

“I stuck my neck out for you, time and time again, and you’re still gonna bail on me?” 

“I don’t want – I don’t want to leave. I have to.” 

“Right.” 

“You think I want this? You think I want to be away from you? Like I have a choice.” 

Sam sighed and composed himself for how he would respond.  

“You of all people know what it means to not have a choice, Bucky. I know that. But this? This is different and you damn well know it. You’re a free agent. No one can dictate what you do. Not anymore. Working with them. Going with them. It’s your choice. You’re choosing to leave.” 

Bucky let his head fall before looking up at Sam through his lashes. Silence washed over him. The words he wanted to say were stuck in his throat.  

“So, now you get quiet on me? You follow me down here and now you’ve got nothing to say?” Sam scoffed as he turned his back. “Just go.” 

“No.” 

Sam turned back to look at him and repeated, “No?” 

“Not until you actually speak to me,” said Bucky, as he inched closer. “Not just scream at me or be pissed off at me. What about me going to work with another team really bothers you?” 

He could see the anger and frustration in Sam’s eyes; in the way he squared his shoulders; the way he stared Bucky down.  

“Is it a them problem,” Bucky pushed. “Or is it all on you?” 

“So, it’s my fault that you wanna run off with a bunch of assholes that you don’t know, to do only God knows what?” Sam retorted, as he lifted his chin defiantly.  

“It’s your fault if you don’t say what’s really got your shorts in a twist,” Bucky shot back. “Don’t you trust me to be out there without you or Ayo keepin’ an eye on me?” 

Sam narrowed his gaze as an incredulous look spread over his face. 

“You know that’s not what I think,” Sam spat back. “How could you even say that?” 

Bucky moved closer to Sam, and Sam backed away slightly.  

“You think I’m gonna hurt people? Is that it?” asked Bucky. 

“I never said that.” 

“Think I’m gonna go right off the rails without you reining me back in? Is that it?” asked Bucky, his eyes red-rimmed but so impossibly blue.  

“Please. I’m not your fucking keeper,” Sam shot back, pressing a finger to Bucky’s chest. “You make your own decisions. You do what you want. If I really had any say in anything to do with your life, I’d tell you to tell those people to fuck off.” 

Bucky snorted out a laugh and it annoyed Sam to his core.  

“You sure do got a lotta words for them, uh?” he asked, almost derisively. “But can’t be truthful with me about what you really want from me.” 

“I don’t want anything from you, Barnes.” 

Bucky narrowed his gaze and inched closer, almost pressing Sam against the wall. He stared into Sam’s eyes, his beautiful eyes, and said, “You’re lying.” 

Sam scoffed and said nothing in response. 

“Tell me what you want from me,” said Bucky firmly, his breath hot on Sam’s lips. 

Sam’s gaze darted from Bucky’s steely eyes to his smart mouth.  

“I want things that I can’t have. Things I got no right asking for,” said Sam, his voice shaky. “I want too much from you and that ain’t on you. It’s my problem.”

Bucky moved closer so that they were chest-to-chest, both breathing rapidly, hearts smashing against their ribcages. Bucky’s eyes fell from Sam’s and rested on his perfect lips a beat too long.  

He brought his gaze back to Sam’s, stared into his soul, and said, “You want me? Is that it?” 

The emotion that swam behind Sam’s eyes was almost too much as he stared silently at Bucky. 

“Say it, Sam,” he said, too loud for a whisper, but soft enough that only Sam heard. “If you want me, then tell me you want me.” 

Sam bit his bottom lip and tried to steady his breathing. He was almost vibrating out of his skin. He had not wanted it to come to that. To the moment where he would have to crack his soul open and admit to Bucky that he wanted him. To lay it all bare and tell Bucky that he wanted more than just friendship with the other man. To admit that he did not want Bucky to leave because he wanted him to stay there with him; to stay in his family home; to lay with him in his bed; to be his and his only.  

He was drawn from his thoughts by the breath that escaped Bucky’s lips as Bucky closed his eyes a moment. 

“If you want me like I want you, Sam, you gotta say it,” Bucky said, as he leaned in and rested his brow against Sam’s. “You gotta tell me. I need to hear it. I need –” 

“I want you,” said Sam, as he brought his trembling hand up to the back of Bucky’s neck. “I want you.” 

Bucky let out this half-relieved, half-disbelieving laugh as he drew back from Sam, cupped his face and stared into his eyes.  

“God, I want you, too,” said Bucky. “I want you so much it fucking hurts.” 

“Then have me,” said a breathless Sam. “I’m yours, Buck, if you’ll have me.”

The wonderment and hope that Bucky’s eyes radiated seeped into Sam soul. He closed his own eyes and let that hopefulness wash over him before whispering, “If you want me, then stay with me. Please stay with me.” 

#sambucky #sambucky fandom fun

[bucknastysbabe]

your pegging fic with bucky was SO FUCKING GOOD. can you please do another one?? like im literally so into it i was drooling the whole time

as for plot, just making him cry again LOL and overall just having him be a mess because

we love that for him.

thank you thank you thank you!

Bro I am so sorry I have no clue how this escalated. You have another free Bucky railing fic that doesn’t include my brain going wild. But he do be crying and a complete mess. Thanks for asking and I hope you are at the LEAST entertained!

Goes along with Praise Kink

Shadowplay - Joy Division

Rating: Explicit

Word count: 3,882

Tags: TW‼️WHUMP, DEAD DOVE, UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, OFF SCREEN SUI‼️, Everyone is crazy, the reader is having a Hydra Life Crisis, Lots of ass play, pegging(m!receiving), fem dom, reader is ace spectrum, Bucky is a crybaby overstimulated touchstarved Angel, praise kink, slight dacry, angst ANGST ANGSTTTTT, switching pov’s like me in bed, they do a little Russian it’s called they do a little Russian, Hydra!Reader

A/N: idk man I’m just a vessel, also just liked the idea of there being a lead up to Buckbuck being like I Cannot Compute Anymore You Assholes then his boyfriend Steve saves the day💞 HC: Pierce likes Bucky be in emotional pain so sends him to her thinking he’ll kill the reader. Translations under cut

Russian translations: Милый (dear), блять (bitch/whore), глупая девчонка (foolish girl), Малыш (baby/bb boy), Умница (good boy), да (yes), хуй (cock), Трахни меня (fuck me), командир (commander), Спасибо (thanks/ty), зимний солдат (winter soldier)

To the center of the city where all roads meet, waiting for you.

To the depths of the ocean where all hopes sank, searching for you

The asset knew he had to report to his Komandir. That’s what happened every mission. They tried to tell the asset that Rumlow was his handler now. Rumlow was not his handler. Komandir was. But she had been gone for some time and he needed her back. The strike team leader was reckless and too bloodthirsty, not calculating enough. The asset could not say that out loud.

He trudged through dark alleys and poorly lit streets, rain pelting down on his leather tactical gear.

Nice Komandir. She was nice. The asset had unregulated emotions for her. He needed maintenance badly. First, the asset must give the mission report to her. The fake handler would be monitoring for the asset now, with their dogs and strike team.

Strike team would not find the asset. He will return himself after reporting to Komandir. The asset got intel on her whereabouts. She was relocated in New York under a new alias. The asset could almost smell her, see her, if he focused enough.

His boots slapped through a puddle before launching up a fire escape. The rain poured down harder— threatening to fill up the alley like an ocean. The asset would swim until his lungs gave out. The Director couldn’t take her away, putting her in an swarm of people or in the deepest cave. Because the asset would find her. She had to be locked up. She would never leave the asset.

They took her— he’d decided earlier after reporting to the pretender. The asset’s morale was sinking fast under Rumlow. That’s when the Director informed the asset on his Komandir. The Director had waved a hand dismissively, “Go find her then, do what you must and come back.” He didn’t understand but went out anyways.

I was moving through the silence without motion, waiting for you.

In a room with a window in the corner, I found truth.

Soldat climbed higher and higher until he was outside her window. He’d memorized it over and over and over and over. The asset grappled onto the thin balcony with a jump, using the moment to swing himself onto the platform. His covered eyes gathered the limited surroundings. A couple of flowerpots, an ashtray on the windowsill, and her familiar face gaping in the window.

The asset wanted to weep, kneel, receive her perfect touch. The asset only got stabs, bloody thrusts, and punches between his bloodshot eyes. Then wiped and put on ice. Although he hadn’t been put on ice much since transitioning to the United States. They had lots of people to get rid of before that. So the Director wiped him more often.

The window opened and her familiar rasp rang out in the rainy night, “Sweet soldier. You must be cold. Come in.” The asset nodded dumbly, shoving himself precariously through the window, contorting his broad shoulders and thighs to get through. Inside was a silent, thinly furnished room.

Cigarette stubbed beside the couch, the television playing something. His blues caught on a blanket and book, her handgun laid on top. Air blew the curtains softly from the window in the corner. The asset whimpered, “Where did you go Komandir?,” he fell to padded knees, “I cannot comply when Rumlow doesn’t have clearance for mission report.”

She cooed and stood tall as always, only clad in a thin gown. Komandir’s lips turned down at the mention of Rumlow. Her hands brushed his cheeks. Off came the goggles, then the mask. The asset’s wide blue eyes followed her obediently. One of her calloused thumbs strummed against his stubbled jaw. She said, “Sweetheart, I’m not officially your handler, not your Komandir anymore.”

He nuzzled into her hand, lips already wobbling. Why would they replace the best Komandir? She learned from Vasily Karpov, Vasily from…from. He couldn’t remember— there had been so many. One that smelled of aftershave and two older men with glasses that made him feel very cold.

She sighed, “They said I wasn’t worth their time sweet boy. I had to go.” The asset believed her, Komandir always told the truth. She knelt down and smiled, tears welling in her eyes. “You’re a star, precious, you shine so bright that not everyone can keep up with it.”

He replied, a ghostly whisper if anything, “The left me to Agent Rumlow. You couldn’t stay under him?”

Fear laced her stern features for the first time. The asset grew uneasy. His programming was screaming, “Maintenance! MAINTENANCE!” Her heart rate spiked rapidly while the agent fumbled for words. He gripped her wrist to bark, “You defected then! You defected like a coward and left me,” a sob tore his throat, “with them!”

His silver hand wrenched Komandir‘s other wrist towards him, her grunting in pain. Her breasts heaved as she panted. The asset glared her down, so many emotions swirling he felt he may explode. She lied to him. Why would she lie to him? Her star.

“Soldat. Status Report please,” she quavered.

Soldat’s tight shoulders relaxed minutely as he listed off, “Physical functions one-hundred percent. Maintenance required as soon as possible. Confusion, dangerously elevated norepinephrine, panic, traumatic response, and- and-,” he bit his tongue to stare. Komandir’s face was wrought with grief.

She murmured, climbing into the asset’s lap, “I need you to slow down comrade. It’s just you and me right now,” she pet his long locks to elicit that chest deep purr, “Can I tell you what happened while I get you clean sweet boy?”

The asset’s lids dropped at her soft body, familiar scent, and wise words. His plump lips trembled while whining, “P-please. I-I’m becoming…defective.”

“I know,” she soothed, “I know.”

In the shadowplay, acting out your own death, knowing no more.

As the assassins all grouped in four lines, dancing on the floor.

As the former agent pet her broken star her chest constricted with emotions. Pierce knew. The bond between asset and handler had grown entirely too close. He’d spat at her, “That thing is a weapon, not a puppy for you to coddle.” She wanted to tell the Director that a person could only go so long under this treatment before snapping completely. Render them useless to the plan. Whatever that may be.

Surprisingly Pierce had demoted her down to the lowest strike team squadron and elevated the prick Rumlow to be the next handler. The Director’s shiny teeth looked like fangs as he spoke, “I’ll keep you around because of your…skills. Any infractions you’re dead.”

So the former Komandir was a grunt again, under Strike Team Omega. They mainly went around sabotaging small terrorist cells. Soldat whined under her hand again, the woman tilting his wide eyes up. She frowned. Poor baby looked so broken, so lost. He had no clue he was going to leave here without his Komandir.

“Take off your gear, precious,” she ordered.

The Russian divested soldat of his guns and knives, laying them out on a neat line. She asked, “How much are they putting you on ice sweet boy?” His blues grew disoriented as he thought. Mechanical as ever, Soldat’s hands divested his leather top.

“Not much. More wipes. Something is coming.”

Something was coming. Maybe not now but in a couple of years. Pierce had something big. There was a reason scientists were holed up in one the hangars, crews building day and night. So they were over-using the soldier to make sure nothing crept out.

She thumbed the seam of scars along the asset’s prosthetic, the other’s hands jolting at the sensation. His pretty lips opened to whimper. Komandir unbuckled his belt and hummed, “They demoted me. I was with a lower strike team. I couldn’t take it anymore. W-without you I cannot provide anything useful for the greater cause.”

The woman remembered her last point. They were in Zagreb celebrating after a arms dealing commune was torn to shreds. Instead of going home, the team helped themselves to the women in trafficking. Assassins, warriors— dancing fools with these broken women. The former handler left and didn’t look back. She knew nothing. Hydra had a purpose once. It grew rancid just like everything else.

And with cold steel, odor on their bodies made a move to connect.

But I could only stare in disbelief as the crowds all left.

Alone in the world again. The Komandir wandered and wandered. Somehow always getting roped back into the underbelly of civilization. She told the silent asset about it. He seemed just as lost contemplating free will.

“I joined a couple of syndicates, former KGB, some widows. I moved around the states and just found no one had a goal. I just try to get by now, my sweet. It’s not pretty out there.”

She wiped her nose, “And to think I’d always dreamed of having you to myself forever. Sick. Selfish.”

I did everything, everything I wanted to.

I let them use you for their own ends.

Tears welled in Komandir’s eyes. She pulled his huge frame close and cried into greasy hair. “I should have got you back, kept you safe, get Hydra back to stage one,” her voice cracked, “I don’t know. I just ran and left them to break you down even more. I-I-I-I’m so sorry Милый, I’m so sorry.”

The Russian knew how this would end. She would die and be a remnant of something unattainable. Perfect was unattainable. Soldat was the closest she would witness and that’s enough. She stroked his wide back with gentle circles, sobs dying.

Soldat’s voice was a dull rasp in the pitch room.

“What would you have me do, Komandir?”

He looked so hopeful. Rage filled her heart, cracking and blistering from exposure. Run with me, start anew, kill that блять Pierce. The woman sat back and put on a smile. She purred, “I would have you relax and let me take care of you, sweetness.”

The asset nodded, unlacing his boots, plates in his arm clacking and humming. The woman thumbed his delicate nose, the thin skin under a once bright blue eye. She whispered, “Such a pretty soldat, perfect soldat.” Silent tears slid down her face. Vasily was probably in a hideout shaking his head. глупая девчонка.

She said, “I’m going to get the bath running, just lay your clothes out and join me,” she shushed his panicked noise, “Just around the corner Малыш.” She padded through the small apartment, ignoring the state of it. Soldat likely cared.

The former agent ran it scalding hot, throwing some lavender in there. She readied a towel and fluffed it. The bath tub was small, but she wanted to pamper her perfect star anyways. She worried her lip, he seemed to be cracking, bad. Too much time off ice and repeated wipes have not been studied. Komandir had never heard him speak so much, all that raw emotion.

Soldat’s hulking frame shadowed the doorway. Knelt down the Komandir beckoned him over. He gracefully clambered into the tub, sitting down with a grimace.

“Too hot?”

“No. I like it hot,” he murmured.

Her eyes roved the beauty of his body, stopping on heated cheeks, full lips, bulky chest, and that beautiful cock. It laid on his belly, a deep red and leaking. His balls were tight but she could see the stress, the heaviness of it. Supersoldiers needed to cum much more than the average man.

The woman grabbed a cup and dunked it to fill it up. Her other hand cupped his knee, thumbing the soft inside. Soldat whimpered again, dark lashes fluttering. She poured the water over his oily dark hair, doing it again until it was soaked.

“Lean up baby.”

She poured some cheap shampoo into her palm, lathering it up. The asset groaned deep in his chest at the contact— nails scritch-scratching away the oils and dirt. He stated, “I’m not supposed to remember you.” His watchful orbs looked up.

“You’re not supposed to remember that you’re not supposed to remember, Умница.”

He bit down on his lip and warbled, “I’m s-scared Komandir. I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

You’re falling apart.

“Shh, baby, in the moment now, in the moment.”

He stilled but Soldat’s eyes had that ingrained wide-eyed fear. She washed the suds out and combed through the tangles, earning some pretty sighs. The Komandir found herself lecturing, “What the Americans do not get…you have to make sure your weap- agents are clean and cared for.”

She hissed while scrubbing his wide shoulders and neck, littered with yellowed bruises, “They don’t take care of their prized fist, that’s why poor soldat is feeling down.” He nodded along, shoulders relaxing minutely. Komandir washed down his arms, digging out the blood encrusted into the plates.

She did the rest methodically: Wash the feet, move down to the toes, calves, thighs. Stop. Soldat was mewling and squirming, face trained on her. His lips wobbled, brow furrowed in agony. The asset whined, “Komandir, please, need your touch, help me.” She ran a hand slowly down his trembling belly, palming the swollen cock.

“Soon, Малыш,” she promised.

His bitten lips pouted, but her good boy always listened. She stated, “I was blind that Hydra would keep the original goal alive. I felt more confident leaving knowing that. But I was wrong, sweet baby. You’re the key and they don’t know it.”

Komandir pulled out a straight razor and shaving cream. She shaved his stubble while continuing, “You will be the one to change Hydra. Burn it into the ground or rise above the sham it’s become. That’s your reality, and the time will come. You must not fail now dear soldat.”

He steeled himself, relaxing under orders, vague as they are. She knew Soldat knew he had to wait for the perfect moment. The brunette thanked her in the softest voice when she wiped off his newly cleaned cheeks. The woman cooed, “Never seen a prettier baby. Turn over so I can get everything.”

By the time she’d cleaned and prepped the soldier out he was a mess. He’d come once already, scrabbling at the tile and wailing in ecstasy. Poor thing wasn’t done. Now dry, her perfect soldier rutted against her soft, soft thigh. His pink lips were sealed around her nipple, whining and suckling.

She pulled at his long locks and said, “As a gift,“ she tapped his cleft chin, “Do you want your Komandir to fuck your sweet hole?” The Russian wouldn’t mention it was a final gift. He babbled in multiple languages but the message was clear— fuck me. She smiled down at his teary cheeks and cooed, “Eager baby. I’ll show you what it’s like to be fucked. Not like those jackasses.”

“Mmmh-pleaseee,” the brunette wantonly begged. He rutted against the bedding while the Komandir moved to a chest in the room. The asset drooled, spreading his thick thighs to draaag his achy cock against the too-soft material— eliciting an annoyed whine.

“Almost there my star,” she laughed. There were some noises of clipping and leather. To their ears it sounded like a gun belt or harness of sorts.

She clicked the heavy black silicone into place. There was no other side to stimulate the woman. Same as it always was, it was her precious boy’s pleasure to take, not her own.

Ambling over to the bedside she asked, “Front or back sweetheart?”

“Front, front, front!,” he babbled.

“Okay. When you see me and change your mind just say so baby.”

He made a confused gesture but flipped onto his back, exposing that pretty pink cock again. Drool actively collected on his plump lips at the sight of Komandir’s strap. He obviously had never seen anything like it. Scarred hands gave it a slow stroke, fingers barely able to meet around the girth.

“Well?”

The asset whined her name thinly, begging for her to take him. She climbed upon the bed one knee at a time, hand on the cock, eyes heady and glued on the trembling soldier. She purred, “Are you sure you want it? Reaaaally think baby boy, there’s freedom of choice under all that mess.”

She tried to play it across seductively but the true meaning was laid bare. Soldat’s eyes flicked about the heavy silicone, throat bobbing in anticipation. He began to speak, faltered, frustrated tears welling up. Finally with his head down the soldier croaked, “Please, want you, please.”

“I’ve got you.”

To the center of the city in the night, waiting for you.

To the center of the city in the night, waiting for you.

She stripped off the gown and tossed it to the dingy carpet. The woman crawled between his legs and kissed a path up to his waiting mouth, puckered tightly. He was vibrating with need, huge arms circling around Komandir’s slim waist. He closed the gap, licking into her open lips.

The woman seized Soldat’s throat with a loose grip, just to stabilize the inevitable freefall. The brunette’s lips were insistent, demanding— like he was trying to take her soul. She moaned lowly, twisting around his probing tongue easily, lips wetly smacking. She nipped his lip playfully, squeezing his veined throat.

The soldier cried out, teeth gnashing against hers as he kissed and kissed and sucked. The soft skin of Komandir’s belly rubbed against Soldat’s achy need, sending pin pricks of pleasure to overstimulated nerves. When she suckled on his tongue, the titanium arm shifted with a shrill whine.

She pulled back breathless, patting the hand once round Soldat’s throat on his sweaty chest. He mewled in frustration, rutting his cock into the air, no release on the horizon. The Russian cooed, “More kisses soon needy boy. You want my cock in you, да?”

Soldat nodded, tears dripping like a leaky faucet down his red red cheeks. The assassin spread his legs wide open, tucking heels against the meat of his ass. Komandir crooned, “Look at you, precious thing, all open and ready for my хуй.”

“Трахни меня! Fuck me!,” he sobbed.

She shushed him with a slight slap to a muscular thigh, wrapping them up around her hips afterward. A once-manicured hand guided the fake cock to the asset’s pink hole, glistening and ready with slick. He babbled, “Oh please- need it, командир, please!”

Without a pause she jabbed the entire length into his eager ass, pretty soldat crying in relief, ripping his big hands through the shitty sheets. She thrust into him deeper, before pulling out with a lurid squelch, then diving back in twice as hard.

The Komandir poured all over her anger, heartache, stupid stupid love, agony into the brutal fucking. The asset’s brown locks bounced around as he drooled and moaned like a slip of a thing getting her pussy split in half. He was in paradise. The woman grunted, smoothing her palms up his ridged torso, “Singing so sweetly baby, you feeling good star?”

“Y-yes,” he choked on his spit, “Gonna cum!”

She cocked her head in surprise, not missing a beat, “So soon, after I milked you out in the tub too? Greedy babe.” More tears leaked at the humiliation, the asset pulling her on top of his writhing body. He nuzzled into her sweaty hair, panting, “Mmmfuck, more, always more, never enough from you Komandir.”

Finding her own eyes growing wet the woman fucked him harder, shaking hand rolling his still swollen balls around. The asset mewled in her hair, getting it sticky with spit. His back was tightly arched as he clung to her. Behavior one wouldn’t see out of a six foot, two-hundred something pound killing machine.

He whimpered, “M’cumming, cumming for you, fuck!”

She seized his newly shaved chin and pressed damp foreheads together. The Russian breathed, “C’mon then, paint me up my precious. Good boys like you get to cum all they want.” He fell apart beautifully, all violent twitches of big muscles and the bloody biting of lips. Cum plastered her belly and even tits. The asset cried for his Komandir, trembling as she licked his tears up.

A feeling of time slipping struck the woman in the chest. In a fervent frenzy she coaxed him onto his belly, the soldier still dazed from the earlier release. The woman propped his ass up, praising the greatest creation of Hydra through her tears.

Die between his beautiful thighs.

She slid back into his sore hole, thumbing around the rim as she watched the stretch. Soldat snuffled, “Спасибо, Спасибо, Спасибо.” The brunette rutted back onto her brutal thrusts, bracing himself on his arms. Constant noises dried his mouth out but everything felt so good. His Komandir, back again to take care of the asset.

The Komandir was drilling his sweet spot dead-on now, moaning softly in delight. She pulled at her precious baby’s engorged cock and cooed in his ear, “Taking me so well, that’s my boy. I love you. You’re going to do big things,” he sobbed and spread out sluttily, “Bigger than me, Rumlow, Director, the whole lot of them.”

The asset was mewling and babbling, nose runny from how overwhelmed his body was. Everything felt like it was getting fucked on his touchstarved body. The cum getting forced out of his balls was spreading all over Komandir’s bed. But he was listening to her words, trying to, hard when he was about to explode.

“Promise me зимний солдат,” she whispered, “Promise me that when the chance comes you take it, okay sweetling? Do it for your Komandir who loves her star very much.” The woman couldn’t hide the crack in her voice at the end. Those gorgeous blues gazed at her like she was good, whole, someone who hung the moon and stars.

“глупая девчонка”, Vasily would say.

The woman kissed his blubbering lips to stop herself from crumpling. He panted, “I promise, I promise Komandir. I will cuh-comply.” He was puffing out weak cries now, twisting underneath her clumsy strokes. She swiped her thumb over the red hot tip of the asset’s cock and watched him spill for a third time, crumpling with a cracking wail. Only a bit spurted out this time.

The Komandir pressed her lips to the center of his spine, chest heaving. She sounded like a broken machine at this point. “Promise me, promise me precious star.” He wept, “I promise, I do, I love you, always follow my Komandir.”

The once prideful woman knew that was the last words her boy should utter. She eased out of his overtaxed hole, shushing him and holding on to that sweet little mewl for dear life. She took off the harness, aware of the soldier waiting. The woman would cuddle up for now, letting the soldier gather her up in his warm embrace. She snuggled tight, imprinting this moment into her soul.

His breath petered out into slow puff, mumbling ‘love you’ sleepily. The Komandir slid from his embrace, padding to the kitchen. Her heart was eerily calm. She knew this had to occur for the greatest creation of Hydra to rise above. His pain would fuel the fire of the future.

She scrawled out a letter, sweet as could be, apologizing for everything. The woman knew she deserved death. She wouldn’t make him do it. Ripping off the Hydra insignia necklace she kept on her neck was placed on the letter.

The woman moved the the couch and grabbed the gun. Shift, click, pray for me soldat, pull.

To the center of the city in the night, waiting for you.

To the center of the city in the night, waiting for you.

#READ THE TW AND TAGS #answered asks #bucky is touch starved #ws bucky gets his ass rammed #winter soldier x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #hydra trash party #hydra reader #angsty angst angst #songfic

[totesnothere04]

Day to Day Norm Pt.2

Norm x F!Quaritch!Reader

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the fanart, screenshots, or gifs used with my stories. (Also if you know who the originals belong to lmk so I can credit them)

Warnings: Violence, near death experience, Norm being cute, also I'm not bothering with making everything to the original script in the movie(sorry), if I miss anything please lmk.

Pt.1 Part 3

You plopped into the seat beside Grace and smiled as the Samson lifted into the air. You always loved flying, and after you found out the Na'vi travel on ikrans, or what humans call banshees, you were sold. You wanted to fly on one someday, at least ride on one. You love the animals so much that you got one tattooed on your upper back. The wings spanned from shoulder to shoulder and it went to about halfway down your back. Sadly it wasn't on your avatar, but you were happy to have it on your human body. You watched Jake and Norm take in the scenery with awe, and you couldn't help but smile and nudge Grace. She looked at her two new avatars and chuckled.

"The newbies are always in awe aren't they?" She asked you and you chuckled.

"Oh yeah. I mean I was too. If I could see it all again for the first time... I'd fall in love all over again." You told her and she sent a small smile your way. When the Samson landed Wainfleet and Jake were the first off the bird with you right behind Jake. Grace went over and told Trudy to shut down the engines since we'd be here a while. She stopped Wainfleet from following us by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"You stay here. I already have one idiot with a gun." Grace tells him and he backs up to the chopper.

"Hey (Y/n) has a gun too." Jake whines.

"The fact that you know that was about you speaks volumes, Jake." You laugh as you pass by him. He grumbles to himself for a moment and then follows you into the tree line. The four of you made it to her old school and you sadly picked up the books that had fallen off of the shelf.

"What the hell happened here?" Jake asked as he observed the bullet holes in the walls and cabinets. You picked up your gun and made to walk out of the building.

"I... I think I heard something outside. I'm gonna go check it out." You call out to Grace and walk out of the door. You sat on the railing and looked out over the trees. To think of such a beautiful and serene place had once been the scene of a horrific event. When Grace told you about it caused a rift between you and your dad. The fact that he was so willing to kill children was a mystery you'd never solve. You shook yourself from your thoughts when the door opened and Grace walked out.

"Would you mind carrying this?" She asked as she held out a hand-held scanner. You nodded and slipped it into the side pocket of your bag. "You okay?" She asked once she caught sight of your face.

"Oh yeah. Just fine." You told her and she gave you a sad smile.

"I understand kid. I understand." She said and patted your head as the two of you led the newbies into the jungle. A group of prolemuris passed by and it caused Jake to aim at them.

"Jake if they aren't charging you, or growling at you there's no need to threaten their lives." You tell him but he keeps his gun up. Grace rolls her eyes and steps up to Jake.

"They're prolemuris, not hostile." She grabbed the barrel of his gun and shoved it down. "Calm down marine, you're making me nervous." We continued walking for a little while and finally stopped in a small clearing. Grace and Norm immediately started testing the tree roots and taking samples. You turned when you heard footsteps, and found Jake walking away.

"Would you mind keeping an eye on him?" Grace asks and you nod.

"Yes, ma'am. Y'all need anything let me know." You say and catch up to Jake. Once you catch up to him you stay about two steps behind him.

"They're called helicoradian. They shrink when you touch them." You tell him and he immediately touches one. It shrinks and he laughs and touches another one, and the cycle continues until he hits one and all of them shrink. The angry roar of a titanothere hammerhead reverberated through the trees. You slowly turned around and found the source.

"Oh shit." You hear Jake curse under his breath.

"Do not run Jake. These animals are very territorial and adhere to a social hierarchy." You whisper back to him. "Do not shoot at it because its armor is too thick to penetrate, and it'll just piss him off more."

"Don't shoot!" Grace whispers into her neck com and you nod.

"I've already told him." You tell her and she nods.

"How uh how do we get out of this situation?" Jake asks Grace. The titanothere roars again and bashes the sides of his hammer on nearby trees.

"That's a territorial threat display. You run, he'll charge." Grace tells Jake.

"So what do we do dance with it?" He asks her.

"Just stand your ground." Grace says. The titanothere charged and Jake ran to meet it halfway yelling loudly the whole way. You heard muted shuffling behind you and you were immediately back on high alert. Jake was making a spectacle of him intimidating the creature while your ears were flicked back trying to hear what was approaching. You winced when you heard the feral growl of a thanator. Jake turned around to see what made the noise and quickly raised his gun at it.

"What about this one? Run, don't run..." Jake asks and you respond for Grace.

"Fuckin run jarhead!" You grab his arm and race through the brush away from Grace and Norm. The two of you duck into the roots of a tree to try and ward it off, but it just tried harder. You groaned and push Jake out of the cubby hole. The two of you picked up your pace to escape but he was yanked out of your grasp. You look up to find him being tossed around like a caesar salad. "Fuck the backpack Jake, drop that shit!" He unbuckles it and gets flung onto the ground. You haul his ass up and the two of you run over to a cliff with a waterfall. You both scream as you jump into the water down below. When you both crawl onto the riverbank you laugh as you stare at your surroundings.

"Holy shit." Jake says.

"We're alive!" You say excitedly and stand up and he follows you. "Now all we gotta do is survive until we're saved!" You say sarcastically. You both continue traveling into the depths of the jungle covering each other's backs. Once eclipse started to fall you climbed into a tree and sat there.

"Are you gonna come down here and help me start a fire?" Jake asked and you shook your head.

"We do that we're basically signing ourselves up for death. The Na'vi evolved to survive in the bioluminescent forest." You tell him but he doesn't listen. "Alright have fun dyin'." You say as you lean back to be hidden in the tree well. At some point, you started to feel comfortable and started to feel tired. However, your near-sleep experience was interrupted when Jake started to struggle with viper wolves. You groaned and jumped down with your gun. You didn't want to kill them, just scare them. You started to swing your gun around to get the animals to run off, and it was working. Then a figure jumped out into the clearing and started to help get rid of the wolves. Once they were cleared she threw Jake's torch into the nearby pond. When the woman turned to you, you brought your hand to your forehead.

"Oel ngati kameie." You spoke and she stared at you for a moment.

"Oel ngati kameie, tawtute." She spoke and you deflated. Sky person. Sky demon. Whichever she meant it was never nice.

"Thank you for helping me protect my noisy friend." You spoke quietly and she seemed impressed.

"Yeah, uh thanks for killin' those things." Jake says and you smack the back of his head.

"Don't. You do not thank for this. This is sad. They did not need to die." The woman said and a tear escaped your eye.

"I'm sorry if I killed one of them. That wasn't my intention." You said and she shook her head.

"Him. His weapon has blood on it." She said and got up in Jake's face. "You are like a baby, don't know what to do." She says and Jake seems upset.

"What about her? She was there too?" Jake says and the woman rolls her eyes.

"She was in the trees being silent. Didn't know she was there until she jumped down to defend you." The woman spoke honestly and then turned to walk away. Jake followed behind her and you shook your head as you followed.

"Jake we have to go back. We aren't allowed on Omatikaya land." You warned him and he shook your hand off his wrist.

"Hey wait. Where are you going?" Jake said trying to keep up with her and you sighed in frustration.

"You must go back." She said and you tried to yank Jake back but he fought your grip again. "You do not belong here." She made a motion with her hand for you to vanish. You had planned on abiding by her wishes but Jake being Jake thought he was an exception.

"Why can we go with you?" Jake asked her.

"Because sky people cannot See." She says and you cocked your head at that.

"Then teach us to See." Jake countered and she scoffed.

"You cannot be taught to See." She tells him and he finally catches her elbow only for her to retort by hitting him with her bow.

"Grabbing a woman's elbow doesn't even go down well on Earth, Sully. I don't know why you'd think it was a better outcome here." You said with an eye roll and crossed arms. The woman now stood still observing you and you started to observe her. She lunged forward when you went to uncross your arms and she grabbed one of your hands.

"Three fingers, and a thumb." She whispers and you chuckle.

"Yeah, it's a genetic defect of mine. It uh has always set me apart from others." You said quietly and squirmed in her grasp. Jake clambered to his feet. "Though it's only one of my hands on my human body, so I'm unsure why it's extended to both hands and feet in this body."

"Okay aside from her freaky birth defect. If you love your forest friends so much, why not let them kill our asses?" Jake asks her.

"Why save you?" She asks as she looks between the two of you. "Because you have a strong heart, but you're stupid. Ignorant like a child." She moves to leave and it was then that you could finally make out her facial features to know who she was.

"My apologies, tsakarem. I could not recognize you." You spoke quickly and she smiled lightly, but it fell from her features as she looked up. Atokorina floated down toward the three of you. You were scared to move because you didn't want to scare them away. Jake, however, swatted a couple away from him. They covered both of you up as much as they could before they floated off on their journey. You turned and watched them.

"What were those things?" Jake asks Neytiri.

"Atokorina." You answer him and Neytiri looks at you surprised.

"They are seeds of the holy tree. Very sacred spirits." She says and you smile lightly. She steps forward and grabs one of your wrists and one of Jake's. "Come." She leads the two of you for a moment before Jake's legs were wrapped up and he started to fall off the log taking you with him. The moment you got the rope off his feet he was up and swiveling trying to find a way out, but you remained crouched low. You left your weapons in their places. The position you were in showed you were not going to resist, but you weren't comfortable with being near them. The man you recognized as Tsu'tey the future Olo'eyktan. Neytiri irritatedly asked what we thought he was doing to which he replied he was going to kill us. Tsu'tey's eyes drifted over the two of us and his eyes land on your hands and feet. He yanks you into a standing position. He holds your tswin in his left hand while he looks over the hand he holds.

"Bring them." He says and one of the hunters takes over holding your tswin but holds a knife under it. Everyone breaks into a sprint to get to Hometree. As you walk in the entrance you look around the area, but ignore the looks of disgust and the hisses. You were so tired. You had been so ready for sleep for hours now that this just felt like torture. You didn't even realize that their Tsahík was talking to you until Jake answered for you.

"I'm sorry for my friend. She's exhausted. Her name is (Y/n) and she's also a part of the jarhead clan, but she's also a student." Jake tells them and they nod in approval. You get new clothes and go to dinner and when Neytiri shows you to your hammock you almost run and jump into it. You're so tired that it doesn't take long for you to fall asleep and wake up in your human body. Norm is holding you as he flashes a light over your eyes.

"Hey (Y/n). You okay?" Norm asks and you nod.

"Yeah. I'm great." You say happily and he looks at you in question. "You'll never guess where Jake and I are right now."

"Where?" Norm asks and you smirk.

"We're at Hometree with the Omatikaya. They want to learn about us and for us to learn their ways." You say excitedly and he smiles gently and you slowly get up. He smiles wide for a moment but then it falls and he frowns.

"Guess you'll be too busy to hangout with me around here." Norm says and you scoffed.

"I will still hang out with you as much as I can Norm." You reassure him and he nods. "Come on I need to eat so I can go to sleep. I'm a dead woman walking at the moment." You laugh and grab his hand to go grab dinner. The two of you grab some food and sit down and start eating.

"I've been meaning to ask you without sounding rude, but your left pinky moves odd. Why? Did you break it when you were younger?" Norm asks and you shake your head.

"It's a prosthetic pinky. I was only born with three fingers and a thumb on my left hand." You said as you twisted your left pinky and pulled it off. "Mom blames Dad because he's 'from the south' whatever that means. Dad blames Mom because she was still wild while she was pregnant with me. So there's no telling what she was exposed to. I blame Earth and its seemingly infinite pollution." Norm takes your left hand in his and smiles while he plays with your fingers. "I used to be made fun of in school for it until Dad sent money to grandma to have her get me a prosthetic." You tell Norm and he frowns.

"But this is what makes you unique... On Earth. Here it's a trait everyone has." Norm points out. "It's almost like you were meant to be here."

"I'm glad I am." You tell him and he blushes.

"Why is that?" He asks you.

"Because I got to meet you." You say and he laughs while looking down trying to hide his red cheeks. "See? Adorable." You whisper.

"I'm pretty sure that's you." He says. "You know I used to get made fun of in school too. Being the smart kid so many people saw me as an easy target." Norm says sadly and you frown.

"Fuck them." You say. "The girls that made fun of you are probably stuck in minimum-wage jobs with an unreliable husband and five kids. The boys? They're those husband's. I happen to have a thing for men with a brain." You say and he looks up at you.

"Really?" He asks and you nod. "Well, I have a PhD in anthropology." He brags and you laugh.

"Trust me Norm. I'm well aware." You say flirtatiously and finish off your food. "Alright I need to get some rack or I'm gonna pass out right here." You both get up and he escorts you back to your room.

"We should do this more often." Norm says and you smile.

"Only if you're cool eating dinner with my Dad. He and I usually eat dinner together." You tell him and he chuckles.

"Lunch then?" He asks and you nod.

"You're scared of my Dad aren't you?" You ask him.

"I'm scared of your Dad. He looks seriously tough." Norm says.

"He is, but underneath it all... He's a good man." You tell him. "Sleep well Norm. Goodnight." You open the door to your room and he nods.

"Goodnight (Y/n). Sleep well." Norm says and heads off to his room. You close your door and do your nighttime routine and go to sleep.

Taglist: @belos-simp69