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#so i always liked cheese it was my “safe food” pretty much the only thing i liked
derpinette · 2 months
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i have a weird relationship with weight because i hated eating more than anything the moment i was ready for solids ( i hate chewing with my entire life always have & will ) which made me underweight for most of my life ( to this day ) & during late primary-middle school this made me actively suicidal because i felt like something was wrong with my sex because i just was not developing whatsoever prompting me to have a years long phase of trying to gain weight in any way i could ( #EPICFAIL by the way ) & i was already insecure but i felt seriously so unforgivably ugly after bullying not just at school but by adults of my entourage. but then i did in my late 15s which prompted the pendulum to swing in the other direction & suddenly i FREAKED OUT & thought well being skinny is pretty much all i have & know myself to be & clearly it is not going to last forever so i Better preserve it i was delusional about how skinny i thought i was actually i look stumpy & weird i have to prove myself. But now i am normal again kind of
#also i used to get beaten to finish my food nearly daily & it would take me forever to do that like literally hours with no exaggeration#just made me hate eating even more. now my technique is eating as fast as possible before i even realize how overwhelming#the sensory experience is & i can just be done with it VS the pain&dread of eating slowly -> disgust of Everything+hyperawareness#eating tightens my muscles like i hate it so fucking much catching the food putting it in my mouth CHEWING swallowing#what a damn chore#so i always liked cheese it was my “safe food” pretty much the only thing i liked#i even hated the foods autists usually like like fries & fried chicken meatballs ETC. HATED.#i was/am more of a soup & turning all my food into varieties of Slop kind of girl nothing hard for me please...#i experienced middle school during the like ♯Thick era of the world which was honestly a good thing like for The Populace#but i felt like killing myself because i felt like an unforgivable fugly genetic failure & people did not hesitate to let me know#anyway either way i would be unhappy caus if i did gain weight during puberty i would have a meltdown about all the Changes#so i feel content for the time being about only losing the fat in my face & getting age appropriate wrinkles really#trying to enjoy the privilege of thinness while i have it because it will not last forever 0_0 but that should not matter anyway...#the privilege of thinness: being way uglier than others & constantly looking like a gibbon dying of disease + no energy or strength ever#JK people are much MUCH nicer to thin people & they do things for me on account of looking physically incapable so um yay i guess#light at the end of the tunnel that is very significant in the grand scheme of things socially. ♯CountingMyBlessings#also i was raised on ♯HAES tumblr from 2014-2018 i truly believed in that & was so damn envious i was not curvy & beautiful LOL#so i never hated overweight people really i think for the most part the SJW tumblr values stuck with me#but now i know it depends on your base frame & genetics & there is no guarantee to what you choose to do (naturally) acceptance is peace#sorry for the gigantic Arse post i just needed to get that off my chest for a long time. not on here specifically just in general#oh & i am a ♯Grignoteuse but grignoter (grazing) is different from eating in my mind&body#& my insecurity was not a result of wanting to fit in really but kind of in the sense that i wanted people to stop berating me for my looks#like body wise only & also not understanding why every other girl looked like a girl blossoming into a woman#& i looked like i was transitioning to Malnourished (unsexed) Ape made worse by bein GNC.& like the need for control later on & erthang ETC
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starvi-boi · 2 days
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yall asked me how i did it so here we go:
first of all, if you dont struggle with an ed or are in recovery than dont interact or read this. i am pro recovery for everyone except myself. stay safe everyone!!
my situation:
im 167 cm tall
i started at 67.7kgs and now im 43kgs, (bmi 24.3 -> 15.4)
i live with my parents and they after two months noticed and now they watch what i eat
it took me around 5 months but during 2 of them i was just maintaining because of miscalculations and binges
1) meals:
i do omads, its really effective, keep it around 350 - 900 cals a day, i used to fast for few days every now and then but omads work wonders
heres how my week looks:
mon: 400-700
tue: 400-800
wen: 400-600
thu: 350-650
fri: 400-800
sat: 900-1200
sun: 850-1250
omading dinner works quite well and so does omading breakfast, but i prefer dinners, i can keep my morning skinny all day and i dont have to walk outside being bloated af
2) exercise:
i do around 5 hours climbing a week, after 3 months i added a 20 minute workout every day that i dont climb, also sometimes i spent whole days climbing on rocks outside
i also have 2 hours of pe a week
i try to get at least 5k steps, mostly i get around 6k a day
im not a try hard in exercise, sometimes i go inline skating but its for fun
i dont distract burnt cals from the days total. i dont.
3) pürging:
i used to pürge anything that was over 500 cals, but it was useless, dont do it, its not helping, i did this only the first 2 months because of guilt
4) binging:
before i began eating less, i used to binge like 4 times a week (around 4k cals), it used to be my coping mechanism
at first i didnt binge at all, i didnt eat because of guilt, i hated food
lately ive been binging on low-cal stuff which is bad, but at least its not as high cal (i actually crave low-cal things), but now i tell myself this: 'enjoy the emptiness, nothing can fill in the void inside, especially not food' and it has helped a lot
but im not rlly sure what to do about it- it just sometimes happens
5) weight ins:
i do them everyday in the evening before dinner, i dont drink water during the day (dont do this, i forget to drink and am used to that, stay hydrated), which makes me not want to eat because id gain the food and water weight, if i knew i was having two meals id weight in in the morning
6) metab days:
since i live with my parents who now check on me, i do them on weekends - both days, i mostly binge on those days (sometimes even 3k cals) lol
i aim for 900-1100 cals on them because on other days i try to restrict as much as possible and my bmr is around 1200
even though they seem scary, theyre very much needed!!
7) rituals:
i dont snack, only gum - it works amazing (i go through like 30 a day :'))
i always plan my cals for the day in the morning and always add in the food before eating it
i spend a lot of time on edblr and edtwt and edtt, motivating
i always have an emergency snack on me and water, im allowed to eat it if im too dizzy or too weak
8) my tips:
never eat alone. never.
eat only at the table - it makes it really annoying to sit there while eating which makes me not wanna eat
romanticize hunger (not the best but ykyk), be a good ana, be pure, be pretty
wear layers, youre gonna be freezing all the time
vaping/smoking can help if youre already into it, dont start with it just because i said it might work
be patient.
skip any meal you can, fake eating, empty packages, hiding food in clothes, taking in to your room, dirty plates, sitting and staring at an empty cup licking the clean spoon over and over as if the cup was full so you seem like youre eating... anything
dont obsess over food, obsess over being skinny and over fasting!!
dont eat more than 2 meals a day
prepare your own food so you can calculate it right
high volume low cal stuff and high protein stuff are your new best friends (lettuce, peppers, cucumbers, pickles, rice cakes, tomatoes, melons, coldfish, chicken breasts, cottage cheese)
warm water fills you up, so does coffee and tea
be nice to yourself, reward yourself when you do good, make it a game - points for being good -> rewards you can buy with your points, when you mess up you have to extract few points
take it slow, one day at a time or one week at a time, you have plenty of time, messing up is okay (one binge doesnt make you fat just as one fast doesnt make you skinny, but doing it repeatedly will)
if youre getting weak -> increase your cals, its better to get your energy back but maintain for few weeks than it is to be weak and passing out
9) do what works for you
i cant do longer fasts because of my family, just because this worked for me doesnt mean its gonna work for you, find what you can do and stick with it
i really suck at portion control so i omad, its way easier for me to not eat than to eat small amounts through out the day
thats it for now!! thanks for reading, if i think of something more ill write it down!!
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auntie-birdie · 3 months
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Since you know a lot about birds, I wanted to ask you this. Is it okay to share my own food with my parrot? Whenever I eat she gets really curious and tries to take a bite out of my food. Is there food I absolutely should not give her under any circumstances? Is it okay to give her things with cheese on them?
This is a tricky question because there's the Right answer and there's the Reality answer.
The Right answer is that your parrot should only eat what they'd eat in the wild, and pellets because it's difficult to actually provide the right balance of vitamins and minerals in captivity.
The Reality answer is that they're going to get their beaks on everything. And you're going to be tempted to share with them. And it's okay to do so in moderation.
For example, Mango freaking loves potato chips. She hears anything that remotely sounds like a potato chip bag crinkling and she loses her mind. The joy she gets from the occasional potato chip is immeasurable. I'd say she gets a potato chip once every few weeks, and she CHERISHES it. She eats it slowly, savors every little bite, even closes her eyes to (in my mind) devote all of her senses to enjoying it.
Is it good for her? Nope. Is she going to get one sometimes? Yup.
There are some things to avoid at all costs, especially including but NOT limited to chocolate. There is a lot of alarm around chocolate and for good reason! Cacao is bad for everyone, including us, in large enough doses. I will, however, admit that Mango has had an M&M before. Since it's milk chocolate, it wasn't cause for alarm—the cacao content is pretty low in a single M&M—so I didn't take it away from her. And oh boy, did she think that M&M was the greatest thing she'd ever had.
Some other no-nos would be anything with caffeine, because their hearts are already working at a high level. I've also read that onions and garlic are toxic, and I avoid them just to be safe.
Since you called it out specifically, for the record, cheese and other dairy products are going to risk giving them diarrhea because they can't process lactose. It's not going to kill your bird to have a bite of something with cheese on it! You just want to make sure she doesn't have too much.
Now, if you want to provide some fun "people" food, warm noodles are always a big hit. Birds have a poor sense of taste because they use their beak for everything, so tasting everything would be pretty awful. What they love is TEXTURE. Unflavored/unseasoned/plain rice cakes can also be a fun treat!
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ciaossu-imagines · 1 year
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Could I request Mukuro for prompt 1? All or as many as you like of the 20 items ! Thank you!
Of course you can, my lovely anon! Thank you so much for the request and I hope you’ll enjoy!
What’s their go-to fifteen minute meal?
I do see Mukuro as someone who eats out a lot. If he’s not up to going out, I think he survives on junk food – chips and instant ramen are a lot of what he eats. He likes spicier chips and his go-to instant ramen is Ippudo Tonkotsu Ramen.
How would they describe their perfect vacation?
Eventful. Mukuro does have his moments where he wants a little breathing room but mostly, he’s not one to sit around and do nothing. He wouldn’t take true vacations often, since even when travelling, he has plans and things in the works that he’s keeping himself occupied with.
What’s the most read book on their bookshelf?
It’s a tie between Machiavelli’s The Prince and Nietzsche’s On the Genealogy of Morality.
If they had to describe themselves as a type of shoe, which type would they choose? Why?
I think I would compare Mukuro to a worn-in pair of good leather boots. Strong enough to take a beating, practical and long-lasting, but changeable enough to go with a lot of different things.
What song would they choose as their theme song?
I’m going to cheat here but Mukuro has a leitmotif in the anime that I think really fits him perfectly and at least the first five or six seconds play in my head every time he showed up in the manga.
What’s the oldest item in their refrigerator?
Honestly, nobody cleans out the mini fridge in Kokuyo Land enough…there’s a little piece off a block of cheese that is old enough to have filled the entire Ziploc baggie it’s in with mold.
Do they have an emergency treat (ice cream, cookies, candy, etc.) hidden somewhere in their kitchen for bad days? What is it?
It’s ice cream. Mukuro changes his favourite flavour of ice cream up a lot, but he normally does have a tub hidden in the back of the little freezer. Doesn’t really matter though, because no matter how much stuff he piles in front of it, Ken or Fran ends up eating it on him before Mukuro actually wants it…maybe Chikusa once or twice, though Ken still ends up getting blamed.
What’s their weirdest bedtime ritual?
Mukuro has to brush his teeth. Pretty normal, yeah…except he brushes them one by one, first along the bottom and then along the top, going tooth by individual tooth. He always ‘forgets’ to floss though; the feeling of the waxy string kind of drives him insane, especially since he has sensitive gums.
Who/what is the one thing that can make them smile no matter how terrible their day has been?
Honestly, not to get too sappy but it is Ken and Chikusa, and then eventually Chrome and Fran too. As someone who never really had the luxury of a family or of people he could rely on, those four, while they drive him insane and while he isn’t above using them (though they willing consent to it), are really his own version of a safe, happy, warm place.
Where do they go when they need some time alone?
Mukuro is lucky enough in that, when he needs to retreat, he doesn’t need to go far. If it’s safe for him to do so, he simply retreats into his mind. Given the powers he has, his mind is more of a retreat than most other people’s, obviously.
What’s one conspiracy theory that they secretly agree with?
Mukuro has very little faith in the world, honestly, and he could easily be convinced of most conspiracy theories, with the only one he strongly disbelieves in being the whole flat earth theory.
Who’s the person they most want to tell when they hear a funny joke?
Honestly, it’s usually Chikusa or Chrome. Ken is too easy to make laugh so there’s no satisfaction there. Fran will just insult any joke. Both Chikusa and Chrome, while near impossible to make laugh, do both have senses of humour, and there’s a sense of accomplishment Mukuro feels in making either of them laugh.
What’s the first section of the newspaper (or online news source) that they check each day?
Mukuro subscribes to a lot of different news sites and does check them, keeping an eye on both major world news, on smaller news stories in places where the Mafia has strongholds, and in the tabloids, which tell the truth far more than people would think.
Who would they call to bail them out of jail? Bonus points if you describe why they were arrested!
This one is kind of obvious, as it’s shown in canon that he calls the rest of the Kokuyo Gang, including M.M. when he needs to be broken out of jail. He’s likely arrested on one of the many, many crimes he’s wanted for, let’s be honest. Mukuro isn’t exactly the picture of the ideal, law-abiding citizen.
What’s the one scent that most reminds them of home?
Blood. With the human experimentation being such a big part of his youth, and then the infiltration and slaughter of Lanchia’s family being another big part of his childhood, the smell of blood almost permeates all his memories of ‘home’ for him, though he’s learning to replace that smell with the smell of the damp earth, wet dog, apples, and that fancy smelling body soap that Chikusa likes so much.
What do they consider their greatest achievement?
Though he doesn’t consider his greatest achievement accomplished yet, as I do believe that, even at the end of the story, Mukuro does still have an intent to wipe out the rotted, evil parts of the Mafia world, I do think the fact that he has escaped Vindice prison, TWICE, which is supposed to be inescapable, is something he’s definitely a little proud of.
How much time do they spend on the internet each day?
I do think that, while the internet is a source of information for Mukuro, it’s not his main or only source, and that he really does keep his internet time relatively short, no more than a couple hours a day.
What’s their go-to procrastination activity?
Mukuro doesn’t really procrastinate all that often, actually. He’s pretty motivated and ambitious as a person but when he is putting something off, he normally spends a lot of time with the others, letting them drag him into stuff or deliberately provoking odd situations just to have the excuse to put off whatever it is that he genuinely doesn’t want to do.
If someone were to make a movie of their life, who would they want to play them?
Nobody. Absolutely nobody. Mukuro’s story would never get told because it’s not really one he wants publicly told and he would honestly stop it from getting out or ever even being thought of as a movie.
Is there a number in their phone that they should definitely delete but just can’t seem to erase?
He still has Lanchia’s cell phone number and he updates it every time that the man changes it. He really doesn’t need it…it’s just a ‘to be safe’ feeling that having it gives Mukuro.
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nancypullen · 1 year
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Fabulous Friday
Today was a fantastic day.  My sister came to town. We have so much fun together, we laugh ourselves silly, and we just get each other.  Gosh, that’s good for my soul.  We tried to take selfie.
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Our hair is telling you that it was a rainy day.  The McGlaughn girl hair is more reliable than doppler radar.  My Twinkie colored hair (half yellow, half white) is the bane of my existence, but I’m determined to see it through. I’m a granny, don’t judge me.  Look at my lovely sister. She’s always had flawless skin, ringlets, and an adventurous soul.  She’s what you’d call a once-in-a-lifetime woman. Unsinkable. Anywayyyy, today has apparently been all about FOOD.  I feel like I never want to eat again.  We had lunch at Earth Tones Cafe and gobbled up their Chesapeake Artichoke Bagel. It’s an open-faced toasted bagel topped with a mixture of artichoke hearts, spinach, cream cheese, mozzarella, parm, red pepper flakes, and Old Bay seasoning.  Holy Cow.  Earth Tones is a vegan cafe but this did not feel like a healthy choice....delicious, yes, but probably not on the American Heart Associations recommended list.  We made a couple of stops around town and our final stop was Craft Bakery because Mickey had asked me to bring him one of their maple-vanilla lattes.  Well, who goes into a bakery and just buys coffee? Not this girl. Two toffee bars, two blackout cookies, and one brown sugar and cinnamon pop-tart later, we left.  I tell myself that I only buy baked goods as decor.  I love having a few things under this cake dome, just because it’s pretty.
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That doesn’t explain why there’s a blackout cookie missing.  I won’t touch the toffee bars or the pop-tart but those deep chocolate cookies with a sprinkle of sea salt....they call to me. I wish she’d stop making  them.  My thighs can’t take it.   That said, my thighs walked me right up the steps to the Culinary Arts  Center to collect the bowl I painted a couple of weeks ago.  I’d participated in a fundraiser by paying to paint a bowl, and part of the price included a container of soup from Shore Gourmet when I picked up my bowl.  The bowls had been fired and I ran by to get mine.  My bowl turned out okay (I didn’t have enough time!) but I’m very pleased with the soup I chose.  Perfect for these chilly, wet days.
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YUM! After the tasty lunch and that chocolate cookie, I figured I’d better make a veggie heavy dinner.  Taco bowls with cauliflower rice!  My stovetop was busy. Black beans simmered with onion, salt, cumin, a couple splashes of hot sauce, and a little water, cauliflower rice in a skillet sautéing with a sprinkle of salt and a blast of chili powder (fresh cilantro would is perfect in this, but I didn’t have any handy), and another skillet with lean ground turkey seasoned with all the taco spices.
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Add some veggies and it’s a tasty bowl!
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This is one of my favorite quick dinners - full of flavor and checks most boxes for a healthy dinner meal.  Bonus, there’s usually enough left for lunch. Thankfully, tomorrow morning we’re scheduled for a guided hike (more of a walk) at the arboretum. Always informational, but mostly I need to log some steps (and eat some salads).  I’m hoping that all of the laughing today counts as an ab workout.  If only.  If that counted as a workout I’d be thin as a rail with washboard abs.  I laugh a lot but those blackout cookies don’t care. That’s it, my wonderful Friday - time with my sister and too much food. I’m a lucky duck.  I hope that your Friday has been good for your soul.  If not, I hope the weekend fills the gap.  If all else fails, eat a cookie. Sending out some love tonight. Take what you need.
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Stay safe, stay well.
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Nancy  
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Foods Around Florence, Italy!
From January to May of 2023, I studied abroad in Florence, Italy as a part of Endicott’s stellar study abroad program. During these four months abroad in Florence, I definitely had my fair share of good food. In this review, I go through just a few of the many amazing places I had the opportunity to try during my time abroad and rate them based on three things: food, service, and overall experience. Each restaurant will receive a rating out of five. 
Acqua Al 2:
From the blueberry steak to the avocado pomegranate ravioli, any meal you will get at Acqua Al 2 will absolutely exceed your expectations. Acqua Al 2 was one of the first restaurants I went to in Florence and it soon became my most visited. The walls are covered with plates signed by celebrities and people who have visited the restaurant , emphasizing the community that has been built. The range of dishes on the menu means there is something for everyone and one of my favorite parts about this restaurant is their famous pasta sampler which is always a surprise assortment of four different pasta dishes. This allowed me to find my absolute favorite meal, the eggplant mozzarella pasta. This dish was composed of rigatoni pasta tossed in red sauce, pieces of eggplants, and gobs of mozzarella cheese. It was truly an indescribable meal, so much so that I got it every time I went back to this restaurant. 
Not only was the food at this restaurant absolutely unmatched, the service was some of the best I have ever had. Everyone who served us at Acqua Al 2 was so kind and considerate, especially since I have a very severe peanut/tree nut allergy. This often was a struggle for me during my time in Italy because of the language barrier, but here I always felt safe and was able to try a lot of the things I wanted to without having to worry. Because of this, I deem Acqua Al 2 to be my absolute favorite restaurant in Florence and I dream of going back one day. I think it is pretty obvious that Acqua Al 2 receives five stars from me. For those who want to visit, Acqua Al 2 is located at Via della Vigna Vecchia, 40/r, Florence, Italy. 
All’Antico Vinaio:
When a sandwich shop has a line all the way down the street at each of their four store fronts, you find yourself curious what this place is all about. Before I went abroad, All’Antico Vinaio was definitely the most recommended from people that had been to Florence before. This sandwich shop really is all you can imagine. Meat hanging from the ceiling, fresh bread on the shelves, you know this place is the real deal. The size of the sandwiches, or “paninos” as they call them in Italy, was massive but because they were so delicious you just had to finish every last bite. 
After hours (literally) of waiting in line and trying to decide what to get, I finally landed on La Schiacciata Del Boss, which was prosciutto toscano, pecorino toscano, truffle cream. The meat melted in your mouth, the cheese was incredible, and the truffle cream brought it all together. Because it was so busy, the sandwich makers definitely seemed a little bit rushed and not as hospitable as if you were to have an actual waiter, but I didn’t find that this took away from the overall experience. The sandwiches were definitely a little on the pricier side, but for the experience I definitely recommend making this 4/5 restaurant a priority spot. To my surprise, they even opened a location in New York so you don’t have to worry about traveling as far as Europe to enjoy this world renowned sandwich shop. For those who would like to visit, along with locations in Italy (Florence and Milan), there are also six locations in the United States between New York, Las Vegas, and California. 
Rivarno Cafe:
Finding iced coffee in Italy is a hard feat, but coming from having a Dunkin iced coffee almost everyday at home I knew I was going to have to find something to take its place. Rivarno Cafe’s lavender latte did just that for me. This latte was one of my favorite things I had while in Florence, so much so that I went almost every day. With actual lavender pieces as a garnish to this absolute divine drink, it filled and exceeded the void of my caramel swirls from Dunkin. Not only was the coffee at Rivarno great, they had a menu full of healthy food options and juices that reminded me a bit of a smoothie shop at home. The vegetable quiche and potato wedges (hard to find in Italy) was my go to weekend breakfast. Since I was such a frequent flier at this tiny cafe, I became close with the workers and they knew my order by heart. Sitting on their patio overlooking the Arno River, drinking my latte with some of my friends are truly some of my most fond memories from Florence. I have tried to replicate the latte to no avail, and because it was my absolute favorite I know I will get back there one day to have it again. Rivarno Cafe gets a 5/5 from me. For those who would like to visit, there are two cafe locations in Florence, one in Piazza di Santa Maria and one in Lungarno delle Grazie. 
Trattoria ZaZa:
From the start, I knew I wanted to go to Trattoria ZaZa not only because of its reputation, but also because it is a hotspot for celebrities to visit and this really sparked my interest. A lot of the restaurants in Florence are very small, hole-in-the-wall restaurants but not ZaZa. This restaurant honestly looked like someone's house, as pictures hung on the walls, mismatched furniture everywhere. The menu was comparable to that of The Cheesecake Factory’s, multiple pages long with so many options. There also was a range of dishes from pasta, to meat, to seafood, so there was something for everyone and that’s just what my family and I ordered when we visited. We each ordered something different and shared it so we all got to taste something different. The food at Trattoria Zaza was good, however what really stood out to me here was the dessert. I had probably the best tiramisu I had ever had in my life, and I still dream about it to this day. Some things to note about ZaZa is that it is very hard to get in without a reservation and it is definitely overpriced for the quality of the food, however I would still recommend it, as it is a Florence staple. Because of the busyness of the restaurant, the service wasn’t all that great and it did take us a few tries to get our waiter’s attention. We were left with empty drinks for a bit longer than we would have liked, so this takes away a few stars from me. In all, I would give Trattoria ZaZa 3.5/5 stars, and would definitely say just go to experience their incredible tiramisu. For those who would like to visit, Trattoria ZaZa is located in the Piazza del Mercato Centrale. 
Loggio Rooftop Bar:
If you’re looking for somewhere to have unique drinks, great appetizers, and see the entire city of Florence, Loggio Rooftop Bar is definitely the place to go. This rooftop bar is at the top of Hotel Palazzo Guadagni and has an incredible view of the city, making it a hotspot. It took me a very long time to secure a reservation here, and I was able to during the week that my family was visiting. Their menu consists of craft cocktails and bite size dishes like cheese plates, hummus and pita, or even something as simple as an assortment of olives to snack on. The cheese plate was such a simple dish, but one of my favorite things I had in Florence. The cheeses were so fresh and it came with jam and honey to put on the cheese, which I had never done before. The drinks at Loggio were also exquisite, the paloma being one of my favorites. I think this is a great place to sit and hang out, however because of the high volume of people wanting to get in, we did feel a bit rushed to get in and get out. Because of this I give Loggio Rooftop Bar a 4/5, but I do still dream of that cheese plate. As mentioned above, Loggio Rooftop Bar is located on top of Hotel Palazzo Guadagni for those who would like to visit. 
Gelateria dei Neri:
Italy is known for their gelato, and Florence certainly did not disappoint in this department. There was a surplus of gelaterias, and let’s just say we tried our fair share of them during our 4 months in Florence. This was something we did not take lightly and we ranked all of the places we visited, Gelateria dei Neri coming in first place. This gelateria had so many different flavors from every fruit sorbet imaginable to rich chocolatey flavors. This made it pretty hard to pick, however my favorite ended up being one called cookies. It was a mix of tiramisu cookies and oreo swirl. Another reason I gave Gelateria dei Neri the first place spot was because the servers were so great about my allergy. This was really hard to find with gelato places because most servers could never guarantee that there was no cross contamination. Because of this, there were a few places I was not able to try but Gelateria dei Neri was so great, I give them a 5/5. For those who would like to visit, Gelateria dei Neri is located on Via dei Neri in Florence. 
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a-tale-of-2-sloths · 1 year
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Day 11 - Manuel Antonio Chill Day
As it was good old St Valentine’s Day I thought it best not to push Georgie aside and focus on keeping the blog completely up to date, however I now have to wrack my brains to remember what we actually did so I might keep this one shorter and sweeter than usual to give me half a chance of catching up on what we did today!
We started off the day with a little bit of a lie in, followed by a bit of breakfast, fresh fruit and yoghurt for G, a nutrigrain bar and yoghurt for me (the food of kings!) we slapped on some suncream, our swimmers and made for the beach on the good old trusty bus now that we knew where the stops are and which side of the road to be on for the right direction! The bus stop has to be one of the most scenic I’ve seen with a good solid jungle back drop, a bench wouldn’t go a miss though! It was quite a busy bus with people going to work, to the beach and about their day to day business. Just over 10 minutes later we were at the beach front where there was plenty of hustle and bustle and people selling their wears. We’re talking everything from parasailing to horse riding, jet skiing, coconuts, hair weaving and something of interest to us - a couple of loungers and a big old parasol!
We were pounced on as soon as we hopped off the bus and offered the comfort and shade for $10, which seemed a reasonable price but like any shopping you don’t just purchase the first thing you see! (Unless you’re a guy so G dragged me off down the beach to see what else was on offer!) After finding a slightly quieter spot we were once again approached but this time for the offer of $18!! We politely declined saying we had a much better deal along the beach and would you believe it, he dropped the price almost instantly! It was a lovely spot, with the tide starting to go out and the sun beating down on us. Finally a chance to lay out a towel and just chi…. Oh wait G’s already in the sea and waving me over. Don’t get me wrong I love the water, but I’d only recently creamed up and got comfy on the sun bed! The sea was like a tepid bath, but the currents were stronger than any I’ve felt before. There were several lifeguards on the beach and one on a jet-ski doing the rounds telling people where to swim and where to avoid due to the rip tides. The terrain below foot was a bit bumpy and rocky in places, that mixed with the pull and push of the waves made for tricky entry and exit, but hilarious viewing as several people went arse over tit in the water!
After a bit of a splash about it was time to chill on the beds in the comfort of the shade. Where I nodded off thinking I’d be safe from the sun, but the tinge of pink I returned to would suggest otherwise! The beach was awash with action (and crabs!) with more locals flogging jewellery, snow cones and massages! They must have seen us from a mile away, a pair of young(ish) lovers just waiting for a couples massage. After a quick foot freebie we succumbed to an all over body massage followed by some chiropractor type moves which I’m going to go out on a limb and and say they haven’t had training to perform. But as I’m still able to type this with out any bones sticking out, it’s all good! There was a bit more a miscommunication on the amount to pay, or maybe that’s how they get you?! We thought they agreed 3,000 Colones each but it turns out the cost was 30,000 for both. We settled on 20,000 which is still pretty expensive for a beach massage, but as it was Valentine’s Day…!
Despite the lounger man providing us with a menu, we were already set for lunch in the form of some nice bread, crisps, cream cheese, cucumber and tomatoes (I’m sure you can guess who had which!) as Craigo has always taught me the importance of hydration I did also nip to the shop for a couple of ice teas and ice creams! It was a lovely way to spend the day, but as 3pm rolled round it was time for us to depart and catch the bus back to Planet B! We had a table booked at 5pm at Ronny’s, a Lonely Planet (shock) recommendation, particularly good for sunsets. A little more expensive than your average restaurant in these parts, but G bloody loves a sunset and as it was V day, all other reasoning goes out the window. We got ready and were out the door in good time with an Uber booked to take us the 4km journey or so. G did suggest walking but the final 1km is up a HUGE hill and I hadn’t dressed to the 9s (more like 6s at best) to rock up all sweaty! I’m surprised any Uber takes people up the hill as road was in awful condition! I’ve been to Grand Canyon and the holes were smaller there! We arrived at 5pm and it was fairly quiet, but it was clear to see why it was a hot spot (quite literally) for the sun set. The restaurant overlooked land below and the sea in the distance, we were so high up it took a while to realise the tiny little toy like boats were actually just normal boats! We were shown to a table right on the edge of the restaurant where behind us several people stood to take photos with one Yank claiming ‘we had the best seat in the house!’ Well that’s what you get for booking in advance Willie Nelson!
We started off with a couple of cocktails and dived straight in to mains (the portions here are Whitehouse-Esque) so you only really need 2 courses! We both had a lovely cut of steak, G with mushroom sauce whilst I went for the ever classic peppercorn. Each came with 2 sides, but bizarrely fries were not one of them. So it was mash and black beans for me and salad and rice for G. It was all extremely tasty and pretty reasonable for the quality and view. As the cocktails went down quicker than me on a Tarzan swing, we also got a bottle of house white, which is an abomination in G’s eyes to compliment steak, but she wanted to share something and I don’t care much for red unless we’re talking strawberry. The mains and alcohol were all delicious, but the dessert was next level. I’ve been waiting a long time to try some chocolate cake as Costa Rica is renowned for its quality coco beans and my goodness, this did not disappoint. I’m not usually one to get excited about food, but I could have gone Bruce Bogtrotter on this bad boy, it was bloody scrumptious!
There was a dessert called the Banana Bonanza, where the lights go down and there’s singing and fire! It sort of reminded me of TGI’s meets Nanny Liz doing the the Christmas Pud! It was a perfect way to spend a few hours, watching the sunset, enjoying some great food and drink and of course with great company. I’m not saying G didn’t want to leave, but she almost treated us to a second bottle of wine… Until we worked out what we’d spent so far! Plus we had some booze back at our accommodation so we hopped in another Uber and went back to play some cards with a couple of cheap and cheerful bevvies. Not a bad way to spend St V day!
G’s Highlight - Sunset dinner!
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panergy · 2 years
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7 Brilliant Car Camping Hacks Every Camper Should Know-Panergy
1) Bring Reusable Stasher Bags
Stasher bags are such a useful thing to bring camping.
I always pack a few empty ones for storing leftovers in the cooler. For example, if you open a block of cheese and need to store the unused portion, a Stasher bag is perfect for that!
Stasher bags are made from pure platinum silicone. They’re 100% plastic free and BPA-free.
They come in tons of different colors and sizes, and they’re endlessly reusable. They’re safe to use in the freezer, microwave, boiling water, and oven up to 400°F.
BUY STASHER BAGS ON AMAZON
I’ve been using Stasher bags for years now, and the oldest ones that I have don’t look any different than the day I bought them.
Not only do I pack them camping, but they also get a ton of use when I’m at home.
When camping, I use the Stasher bags for:
leftover camp food
a block of cheese, butter, or veggies I haven’t eaten all of yet
snacks
my camping toiletries
extra batteries for headlamps
phone charging cords
While I use Stasher bags mostly for storing food in the cooler, they can be used for so much more than food, and I think they’re always good to have on hand for camping!
Ready To Master Stress-Free Camp Cooking?
In this Camp Cooking Starter Kit, I share my top recipes, checklists, and meal planning tips!
We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe at any time.
2) Reuse Empty Gelato Containers
Another great camping hack is to reuse empty gelato containers for storage.
I’ve happily eaten a good amount of gelato over the years. 😊
I noticed that the plastic gelato containers were actually pretty durable and they had a nice leakproof lid, so I started to save them.
Turns out, they’re great for camping!
Sometimes when it’s just me and Nick camping, I don’t need to take an entire box of something like pancake mix, so I portion out a couple servings into a gelato container and pack that!
It saves space in my camping food bin, and then I don’t have to worry about a box of pancake mix opening up in my food bin while I’m driving.
Much like the Stasher bags above, these gelato containers can also be used for storing extra headlamp batteries, charing cords, and extra first aid kit supplies.
The uses are endless, and most importantly, you have an excuse to go eat gelato! You’re welcome.
3) Bring DIY Fire Starters
Make a fire quickly and easily at camp with DIY fire starters!
Of course you can also buy fire starters, but making them at home is really easy.
I like to make my own fire starters using dryer lint, wax, empty egg cartons, and string.
You can find my step-by-step DIY fire starter tutorial here.
These homemade fire starters are quick to make and they work really well! Each one will burn for about 10 minutes, giving you plenty of time to get some wood burning around it.
4) USe Ice Blocks Instead Of Small Ice Cubes
This is something that Nick taught me.
Instead of buying a big bag of ice every time we wanted to go camping, and then having to constantly drain the cooler as it melted, we now use large ice blocks.
We have two old gallon-sized Gatorade containers filled with water that we leave in the freezer at home. When we want to go camping, we put those big ice blocks into the cooler and pack our food around them.
These ice blocks stay colder a lot longer than smaller ice cubes, and all the water stays contained, that way it’s drinkable if you run out of water for some reason.
I get comments on my YouTube channel about how I keep the cooler cold, because when I show it in videos, there’s no ice. This is how I do it!
When you get home from a camping trip, all you have to do is put the ice blocks right back in the freezer and then they’re ready for your next trip.
5) Pre-Wash And Dry Veggies At Home
When I’m planning and packing meals for camping, I always like to wash and dry my veggies and fruits at home before I pack them.
Then when you get to camp, you can just start cooking. Sometimes water is limited when you go camping, so this simple tip will help you save water and start cooking at camp right away!
To take this a step further, for short 2-3 day trips, I like to cut the veggies at home to save another step at camp. Pre-cut veggies can easily be stored in a Stasher bag in the cooler.
6) Bring Cash
A lot of campgrounds require a fee. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten to a campsite and didn’t have the exact change needed to pay for the site.
Make sure to either check the camping fee online before your trip, or just pack some cash, specifically smaller denomination bills like ones and fives.
That way you can give the exact free amount, and don’t have to go ask surrounding campers for some change.
7) Use Bins To Stay Organized
I think this is the most useful tip on the list, and surprisingly, it’s another thing that my boyfriend Nick taught me.
Organizing your gear into bins is the key to stress-free camping!
For example, we have 2 main camping bins.
The first bin is for our car camping kitchen essentials. This includes our cast iron skillet, a spatula, plates, forks, a cutting board, and other gear that we use for cooking. We don’t put any food in this bin.
Our second bin is larger and it’s our “pantry” bin. It contains our snacks, coffee, spices, and other foods that don’t need refrigeration. Our food bin clamps closed, so it’s also great for keeping small critters out of our food at night.
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liyawritesss · 2 years
Note
Okay if you could, I would LOVE a cooking fic similar to the Bakugo, Shinsou, and Midoriya one but specifically with the LOV. Dabi, Shiggy, and my girl Toga need more love and some GOOD FOOD😫
ᴄᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ᴡ/ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ
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Pairing: Dabi (Todoroki Touya) // Toga Himiko // Shigaraki Tomura x GN!Black!Reader
Genre: Headcanons
Synopsis: In which you cook soul food with/for the LOV Members
Warnings: Some cursing maybe, otherwise pretty safe
A/N: I don’t typically write for Shigaraki - dude just makes me way too uncomfortable. I hope that it’s okay, though!!
Dabi (Todoroki Touya)
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Kind of just….stares...awkwardly...while you’re cooking.
He’s seen you make stuff, just never said anything and never made it known he wanted to try it, possibly because of those deep-set mommy issues.
Due to very visible circumstances a lot of his nervous system is jack shit, but luckily his taste buds managed to survive, and it’s been a hot minute since he’s had a decent meal.
One day you plop a plate down in front of him - a full, like, 6 course meal made from scratch and smelling like heaven, and he gets so confused it comes out as anger.
Why would you make him something to eat? Did you view him as incapable of basic skills? Was he incompetent in your eyes?
The food stayed there for a while, he had left and so did you, he had passed buy the plate numerous times that day, breaking his composure more and more with each glance
It is only in the dead of night that you finally catch a glimpse of the scarred man finally taking a bite - the taste and flavors unfamiliar but inviting to his taste buds. 
Legend has it, he still only waits until the dead of night to eat whatever you happen to leave in the fridge as leftovers in the bar upstairs
Toga Himiko
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Toga is definitely front and center in the kitchen while you’re cooking
Despite the sadistic nature of her personality, she still has some child-like innocence, and her curiosity is undoubtedly present whenever she’s watching you.
Always asking what spices you’re using, how long the greens have to cook, why are there so many eggs going into the baked mac-n-cheese
She’s actually pretty helpful, but keep her away from batters because she will do the ‘sticking her finger in every five seconds for a taste’ thing.
And she always, always, eats her fill. You get concerned at one point because she’s eating so much, but she always reassures you that if she doesn’t eat it, it’ll probably go to waste, and your food is too good to let waste away in the back of some cooler or fridge
You offered to make blood pancakes for her once and she went nuts cuz she thought you meant human blood
And while she was disappointed about the substitute being pigs blood, she wasn’t sad for too long when she saw and tasted the outcome - now its one of the only things she’ll ever eat from you.
Shigaraki Tomura
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You keep him out of the kitchen when you’re in there, for obvious reasons. No one wants dead skin cells in their bacon and eggs.
Kind of thinks your love for your cultures food is irritating and stupid at times
That is, until he actually shuts the fuck up and tries it
Will not verbalize it but he actually likes it?
Food is so moist makes him wanna actually put on some lotion
Now he just kind of expects you to make him food, the entitled brat
And when you don’t he gets real fucking pissy, so much it effects the other LOV members
So to keep the peace you cook for him or whatever (it lowkey becomes a bargaining chip in your favor so lucky you for holding power over a piss baby)
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If you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment, and reblog for others to see! And don't be shy to send a request!
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finelinevogue · 3 years
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Can we get some more brother!harry?
I really enjoyed your piece where he caught her smoking ❤️
of course you can!! (rip if your name is natalia) hope this is what you wanted;
Natalia.
Beautiful name to juxtapose a horrible excuse of a human being.
Harry was never that great when it came to choosing his girlfriends, but this one was by far the worst. Bekka had been bad, because she had been cheating on Harry with her best friends dad. India was just so toxic, to the point where she’d ask Harry why he wasn’t mad with her over the most trivial things as if she wanted him to be mad. Daya was ok, but she wanted different things to what Harry wanted and so they ended up in a massive argument and ending things quicker than they started. Natalia though, wow. She was something else and that wasn’t a compliment.
You don’t know whether it was just because she targeted you especially, but she was just a downright cruel person. You could easily tell her intentions with your brother were not good. She was a plain ol’ gold digger, evident from the credit card that Harry leant her and she spent so much on it the bank had to call Harry to ask him to authorise that he was aware of the amount of money being spent. She bought a car with his card. A fucking car. Harry was too blinded by her beauty and her experience that he was oblivious to her witchy behaviour towards you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to tell him either, it was more that he didn’t care enough.
“No Harry. No.” You argued with him, standing in the middle of the kitchen as he was busy washing the rest of the dishes in the sink. It was just the two of you home at the moment, because Gemma and Anne were spending the weekend at an exclusive spa in Cheshire, so you didn’t understand how there were so many dishes.
“Y/N, it’s not an option. You’re not staying at home by yourself.” Harry spoke sternly back to you, letting out his frustration by vigorously scrubbing the dishes.
“I’m literally 17 - 18 in like 3 weeks. I’m more than capable of staying home.” You stomped your foot to the ground like a child.
“And I don’t care. You’re coming to lunch whether you want to or not.” Harry finished the last plate and dries his hands on the towel next to the sink, before throwing it over to you.
“But she’ll be there.”
“She’s my girlfriend, so you’ll nice to her.”
“If she’s nice to me, then yeah.” You rolled your eyes and walked over to the sink to start drying the dishes that Harry just cleaned.
“ Y/N, I swear to God.” Harry groaned in frustration, tugging a stressful hand through his hair. “Can you at least pretend to be happy for me for once?”
“Gee Harry, i’m just so happy to be going out to lunch with you and your girlfriend!” You put on the biggest grin as your sarcasm practically dripped from your tongue.
“Stop being a spoilt little shit and finish those dishes. We’re leaving in 20.” Harry spoke harshly, before leaving the room with a heavy strop to his step. It left you to blink back the tears that you couldn’t help that Natalia was ruining your whole relationship with your brother.
You and Harry used to be so tight nit, now it would be a miracle if he spent a day with you per month. Natalia had come along 5 months ago and she had completely turned Harry’s life around for the worst, only Harry was too ignorant to see that. Anne had come home multiple times to find you crying because Harry had cancelled on you, again, or Natalia had said something that had really hurt. Normally you were okay with taking hate, but Natalia made it somehow worse than that. Even if Anne or Gemma tried to talk Harry about the damage all this was causing you it would always be the same response;
“She just wants attention.”
The restaurant was very pretty.
It was one that you and Harry used to go to all the time, when there was no girlfriend around. It sold the best pastries and life-changing eggs on toast. The food was always delicious and the staff were so completely lovely. You were glad to be coming here, making you feel more comfortable than you would if you went to a expensive fancy restaurant instead. This little restaurant, named ‘Lemon Puffs’ after their infamous lemon, cream and pastry puffs, made you feel safe and happy.
“Remember to just be nice.” Harry spoke as you both approached the table that Natalia was already sat at. She was too busy on her phone to realise you were even here.
“If she plays nice then yeah.” You bit back.
“Y/N just stop being petty, y’pissing me off now.” Harry argued. “Whine like a bitch later. I don’t need it today.”
You stopped talking after that, not having anything else to say to him. He’d made it very clear that you were only here because he didn’t trust you at home by yourself, but by the same token wanted you quiet because he didn’t trust you enough to speak nicely. Harry hugged and kissed Natalia like he hadn’t just seen her last night and then sat down opposite to her, leaving you to sit next to Harry because you sure as hell weren’t sitting next to her. Natalia didn’t even make the effort to hug you or shake hands, in fact you barely got a simple hello.
“You alright, baby?” Natalia asked, twirling her hand into Harry’s from across the table. Disgusting.
“Yeah i’m good. This one’s a pain in my arse, as always.” Even with his joking tone, you knew he was being somewhat serious and that really messed with you.
“Typical.” Natalia rolled her eyes and tutted her tongue, not hesitating to use the opportunity to be mean to you. Harry thought she was merely playing along with his words, but you new otherwise.
“You know what you want yet?” Harry asked as he pulled his own attention towards the menu. You didn’t need to look at the menu, as being here so many times has allowed you to discover the perfect order.
“I think i’m just going to get the salad, but without the chicken, cheese or cucumber.” She answered, sipping on the water she must’ve already ordered whilst waiting for you both.
“So just lettuce?” You asked, not meaning for it to be a condescending question and yet she took it that way anyways.
“Is there something wrong with that, Y/N?” She asked, being really harsh in the way she spoke your name - as if the syllables actually caused her pain to speak.
“N-no I was just—”
“Didn’t think so.” She snapped and turned away from you to look back towards Harry, with her shit-eating grin that didn’t fool you. Harry kicked you leg under the table too, not appreciating the way you were speaking to Natalia. He didn’t even think about the way his girlfriend was speaking to you though. As usual.
“I’ll probably get the salad too.” Harry nodded his head and you shook your head as he spoke. Harry would never normally get a salad. Like, that’s so Kardashian of him. Harry, whenever he came here with you, always ordered a cheese and pickle panini, with extra crunchy pickles, a portion of chips and some halloumi fries too. Oh and then a cake for pudding. He wouldn’t have gone for a boring salad. Fucking Natalia was ruining him and you hated to have a front row seat of it.
“Not the usual then?” You tried to joke with him, but he was clearly still pissed off with you for being… you.
“Why, are you?” He asked quizzically.
“Obviously.” You smiled, which made Harry smile for a split second before Natalia pulled him away from you. Your smile disappeared and a frown settled in, knowing it would stay there for a long time.
“Babe, I am here too you know?” Natalia joked, bur you could see the anger and jealousy behind her eyes. If looked could kill you’d be ten feet under, twenty times over by now.
“Sorry, yeah.” Harry cleared his throat and paid closer attention to her.
Lunch went by slowly.
Natalia scoffed when she heard your order; poached eggs on toast with three pieces of crispy bacon on the side, a portion of chips and a mint iced tea. Oh and a cake for pudding, but you’d come to that later. Natalia ate her lettuce as Harry eat his salad as you ate your eggs on toast with bacon and chips. You loved the food, hated the company and couldn’t make up your mind whether you loved or hated being here. Natalia and Harry talked throughout lunch, leaving you out of all their conversations. The only time Harry spoke to you was when he asked whether your food was okay, eyeing it up as if he wanted to make love to it and send his salad to the nearest dumpster.
“Was everything alright for you?” Paul, the owner of the business and dude in charge of the eggs asked you when all your plates were empty as Harry’s growling stomach.
“Lovely, thank you.” Harry responded gratefully.
“Perfect.” You smiled as you handed your dirty plate to Paul.
“It was a bit plain.” Natalia moved her plate away from her in disgust and Paul put on his best customer smile, apologising for that before leaving to go and ring up the bill.
“Okay i’m just going to go for a quick wee before I pay.” Harry announced, getting up from the table to go to the loo.
“Okay babe. Don’t be too long.” She called out and then it was left just you and her.
“Well this was nice.” You tried to be nice, as Harry told you to, and start a meant conversation with your arch enemy. Kill ‘em with kindness - that was Harry’s slogan wasn’t it?
“If you hadn’t have been here then yeah.” She turned her nose up at you.
“Look,” you began, wanting her to understand something, “whatever i’ve done to upset you and make you hate me, i’m sorry. Just, I don’t want you to dislike me and I know that Harry really likes you so I want us to be able to get along.”
“Listen, Y/N,” there it was again - your name spoken with dripping venom, “I don’t want to get along with you. You make me sick. You are such a baby to Harry and you’re needy, which means I don’t get to spend time with my boyfriend—”
“Don’t get to spend time with him?” You had to laugh at that. Apart from today, you’d seen Harry maybe a total of 2 hours this whole week and it was Saturday. “You’re practically attached at the hip.”
“Not enough. Harry needs to keep away from you, you only bring him trouble.”
“I’m his fucking sister.” You shouted quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace for the rest of the customers.
“Not an excuse. Look Y/N, I understand that you are quite lonely and don’t have many friends? Maybe you should consider that’s for a very good reason?” She rhetorically asked you and that made you sit back a bit. She was pulling apart your insecurities now and exposing them to find the most painful parts, so she could watch you suffer with only the curse of her words.
“It’s not like that.” You tried to convince yourself more than her, tears in your eyes over something so hurtful to you.
“No? ‘Cause I think that you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.” She stood up dusted herself off as he noticed Harry walk back over to the table, smiling as if she hadn’t just shot his sister in the heart.
Her words stung more than a scorpions tale, and yes unfortunately you knew what that felt like. Natalia was right. You were alone, friendless and just trouble. There was a reason that you were all of this and Natalia had hit the nail right on the head with the reason why. You thought of your friends, his they always disappeared and left you and now you sit in the canteen alone or hang out only with yourself on the weekends. You think to Gemma and Anne going away for the weekend, not inviting you because it was age restrictive but you still couldn’t help but think there was a more pressing reason than that. Then you think of Harry and how he was fed up of you. He couldn’t be more resentful of you if he tried. You wanted to be a good friend, a good daughter and most importantly a good sister, but it was so blindingly obvious that you weren’t. You were never going to be.
You stood up from the table too, quickly wiping away a tear from your face before anyone could notice but you didn’t care to see if anyone was actually watching. Harry kissed Natalia and then walked over to the cashier to pay the bill. You noticed Paul and Harry talking and so you walked out of the restaurant and towards the car, still tears in your eyes. You needed to be strong for yourself though, especially because nobody else was going to be.
You stood with you handle to the door of the car waited for Harry to come and unlock it. You heard high heels before the car was unlocked, unfortunately.
“Excuse me, but I ride front.” Natalia spat at you, removing your hand from the door and chivvying you to the back of the car instead.
“You’re coming with us?” You asked, your heart aching that little bit more. You didn’t want to spend another minute in her presence and yet she would now probably spend the rest of the week until your mum and sister came back.
“Ye—”
“No she’s not.” Harry walked out of the restaurant and over to the car, standing in between the both of you but a little more towards you.
“Babe? What do you mean?” Natalia asked, a little bit shocked at his tone with her.
“Firstly dont babe me. Secondly, get your hand off my car. Thirdly, don’t ever come near me or my sister ever again.” Harry ordered angrily. You’d never seen him this angry before. You stood behind him, afraid of what was about to go down.
“What has she said to you, because—”
“She’s my sister and she’s got a name. Y/N didn’t tell me anything. Lemon Puffs, however, has eyes and ears everywhere and it’s amazing the stories you hear when you’re stood at the cashier or next to someone at the urinals.” Harry accused Natalia and she went hot red in the face, embarrassed that this conversation was actually happening.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“No? Maybe this will jog your memory. ‘I think you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.’” Harry raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest confrontationally. Guarding and protecting you. You felt safe.
“Wha— You think I would say that?” Natalia asked, pretending to be offended by the accusation.
“I don’t know, let’s ask Y/N shall we? Y/N, did Natalia say that to you?” Harry asked, turning to look at you with hope in his eyes, but also sorriness for everything that’s happened. You could see it all behind his eyes and you wanted to squeeze him tight to accept his apology, because you loved him and you needed him.
“Y-yes.” You answered, looking down so you didn’t have to make eye contact with Natalia.
“Harry you can’t possibly believe her.” Natalia laughed, but there was heavy insecurity in her tone.
“I trust her more than anyone. More than you. I trust Y/N with my life.” Harry back answered, taking no more bullshit from his ex-girlfriend. “We’re done Natalia. Okay? I don’t want to see you ever again. What you’ve said and done to my sister is unforgivable and I don’t want someone like you in my life.”
“You were a dick too.” You added quietly behind him and he just turned round to smile and wink at you.
“So what? That’s it?” Natalia asked, dumbfounded.
“Bye Natalia.” Harry walked around to the drivers seat and you to the passenger side. He stopped before opening the door though, wanting to say one last thing. “The bill was split in half by the way. Paul’s just inside waiting for you to pay.”
With that, you both got in the car, laughing at Natalia’s reaction and just everything. Apologises were made and promises of no relationships until you two had built back up yours were sworn. It would take time, but Harry was willing to prove that he was a good brother and you were always going to be someone he wanted around.
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meltingpotimagines · 3 years
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Husband!Hawks
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this mans
is not husband material
but!
for the right girl? he may be willing to play the part
listen, mans may not be a simp but he is cHARMING okay? he got potential
besides he’s lowkey a simp for the right girl but whatever
was very romantic when he proposed
managed to rent out an entire park perks of being the #2 hero
decked out a gazebo with fairy lights, candles, and rose petals
considered making a heart with the rose petals but decided just scattering them around would be classier and less cheesy
set up a picnic with a basket f u l l of food
sandwiches, cheese, fruit, desserts, the works
and ofc a bottle of champagne bc tonight you two would be celebrating
or so he hoped
you wouldn’t say no right?
i mean who could say no to that gorgeous face pHEW
pulled out the ring box right as you swallowed the last of the macaron you’d been nibbling on
his heart sped up as your eyes widened, a breathless ‘keigo’ escaping your lips
“i know you might not be ready, but the more i get to know you, the more i realize that i don’t want to live the rest of my life without you. you’re the girl of my dreams, and i never want to wake up. would you marry me?”
“are you s t u p i d? ofc i will!”
his grin has never been as bright as it was at that moment
slipped the ring onto your finger and immediately pulled you into his arms and took off into the air
slowed your assent as you two soared above the clouds and spun around, unable to contain his joy
gazed at your face with those golden eyes, taking in your beauty, before giving you the sweetest, most tender kiss you’ve ever felt
oh boy the wedding
when i tell you this was an e v e n t i mean anyone who was anyone wanted to go to this wedding
but only those that were close to the two of you were invited
haha suckerrrs
somehow got all might to officiate
who knew all might could officiate weddings? 
certainly neither of you
no one really knows how that decision came to be but i mean no one was complaining either so
he let you make all the decisions except for one
the flowers
he h a d to be involved in the flowers
he appreciates pretty flora and if the bouquets and floral arrangements at his wedding weren’t the prettiest possible he would n o t be satisfied
teared up as you walked down the aisle (which he will neither confirm nor deny)
not that he wasn’t lookin’ mighty fine too
just imagine: tan suit with a black button up and a gold tie, gold cufflinks with a ruby set in each
i know those are his costume colors but he looks good in them so y’all can fight me
dipped you for your first kiss as husband and wife to everyone’s amusement
best believe a few different cameras caught that
the timing of the wedding was planned out so the reception was held at night
semi-sheer white tents and custom black ten-feet tall candelabras
the soft glow from the candles combined with the moonlight made for the perfect dreamy vibe 
he managed to find a florist that could dye white roses black and cover them them with a thin layer of gold glitter
was it necessary? no
did it look good? heck yeah
the gold glitter shined beautifully against the black roses
tho
the way your eyes sparkled as you danced with him was far more captivating
you two had flown up into the sky to dance your first dance together
your silhouettes against the bright moon made for a perfect picture
the only reason you ended up coming down was because neither of you had eaten much that day and a guy’s gotta eat
he gonna need stamina later *winky face*
you cannot convince me the man wouldn’t insist on fried chicken
like a whole buffet table of different flavors
but i mean fried chicken is good so can’t blame him
everyone expected him to smear some cake on your face when he fed you that first piece
instead wiped off the frosting that got on your lips with his thumb and licked it off
your best friend caught t h a t one on camera and will never stop teasing you about how flustered you got
he kept up a great image of a polite host but on the inside he was ready to g o
it had been a long day and he was ready love on his wife
heh
wife
he likes the sound of that
peppers your face with kisses on the ride home
yeah yeah i know h o n e y m o o n but where y’all were goin’ was forever away and mans just wants to shower you with affection as soon as possible (esp considering he had to keep his hands off you all day since you two never had a moment alone)
scoops you up the second you’re out of the car and carries you over the threshold
gives you a soft kiss before putting you down
and that’s the last soft kiss you’re gonna get for the night lolllll
definitely the type to make you breakfast in the morning
also the type to cook in nothing but an apron and boxers but anyway
you better be up in time to see that sight bc if not, you’re getting breakfast in bed not that i’d complain
he’s not the best cook but mans can manage some bacon and eggs
plus some fresh fruit bc it makes it more visually appealing and less like he doesn’t really know how to cook
he set the tray on your lap and climbs back into bed, pulling you into his side so your head can rest on his chest as you two munch on breakfast
there’s something so soothing about the sound of his heartbeat
a soft little rhythm that nearly puts you back the sleep
didn’t help that he was unconsciously running his fingertips along your arm, drawing random squiggles and shapes
will tilt your head up by the chin every so often to give you a little peck on the lips
if you do fall asleep, he’ll just gaze at you softly while lightly tracing your features
still can’t process that you’re married
someone actually loved him enough to marry him
there was someone that didn’t just admire or use him bc of his quirk
didn’t give him attention purely bc he’s the number 2 hero
you saw all his flaws and shortcomings and insecurities and loved him regardless
if he’s dreaming, please don’t wake him up
you cleaning him wings for him is something he loves so much
it’s such an intimate task that makes him feel cared for
loved
how much time you take in cleaning them and how tenderly you handle each wing
it’s one of his favorite ways to spend time with you
it’s nice being taken care of for once, esp when he’s always taking care of others
absolutely loves taking you on night flights
will take you in his arms and just soar above the clouds
with the clouds below you and the stars above, it feels like you two are the only people that exist
definitely dances with you during some of those flights
wraps one arm more tightly around your waist and take your hand in his and just… slowly spins in the air
it doesn’t look like much but when you’re just looking into each other’s eyes, it feels like the most romantic and intimate moment you could ask for
your life is quite literally in his hands but you’ve never felt safer
even more so when you wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face in the crook
his arms wound securely around your waist, the comforting smell of his scent, the kisses he presses to your temple every so often
it feels like home
likes startling/scaring you a lot
will sneak into the house after work just so he can tap on your shoulder from behind 
the gasp you let out as you freak out for half a second never fails to amuse him the jerk
will always make it up to you with long, deep kiss
if he gets home late after a long day he’ll just crawl into bed and pull you into his arms before burying his face into your hair
no talking, just breathes in your scent before he crashes
he sleeps really well like that, but, although he won’t admit it, he sleeps best when you hold him, his face buried in your chest
he feels warm and safe, like it’s okay to be vulnerable for once
absolutely flirts with you while at work
probably definitely sends you a few spicy pics or texts
it gives him such smug satisfaction knowing the affect he has on you when he’s not even physically there
picks up take-out when he knows your too tired to or would rather not cook
like to back hug you and wrap you up with his wings
9/10 times will bury his face in your neck and nuzzle
sometimes if he spots you while on patrol, he’ll fly over and flirt with you
“how you doin’, gorgeous? the name’s hawks. what’s a pretty lil’ thing like you doin’ in a neighborhood like this?”
sir, this is one of the safest areas in the city pLS-
but if you actually a r e in danger? oh boy
no one, and i mean no one, touches his girl
honestly i’d rather fight bakugo one on one than deal with keigo’s wrath
he’s one of the chillest people you will ever meet, but when he’s that mad? s c a r y
will keep a close watch on you for a while after that
asks you to always let him know where you’ll be and to text him when you get home
definitely considered installing a tracking app on your phones
he’ll calm down eventually, but for the moment he’s extremely anxious
although he certainly tried his best to hide it
he didn’t want to stress you out too, especially if you had any anxieties from it yourself
he was just afraid to lose you
he doesn’t know what he’d do without you
after all, you’re the most precious thing in the world to him and he loves you more than he could ever put into words
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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years
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If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment
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Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...
Masterlist
Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader
Word Count: 6,100ish
Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment
A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!
________
“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”
“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”
“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”
“Really?”
“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”
“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.
“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”
“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”
“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”
“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.
“Yeah. You alright?”
“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”
“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”
“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”
“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”
“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”
“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.
“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”
“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.
“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”
“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.
“Twenty years, why?”
“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.
“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.
“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”
“You got that fancy computer though.”
“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”
“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.
“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.
“Debatable.”
“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said. 
“Are you any good?” he asked.
“No.”
“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”
“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”
“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”
“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”
“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”
“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.
“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath. 
“You okay?” 
“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”
“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”
“No. Why?”
“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”
“That was Dee’s hoodie.”
“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”
“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”
“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.
“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.
“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”
“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”
“This Is Us?” you asked.
“Supernatural?”
“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said. 
“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”
“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”
“I will Y/N. Promise.”
Friday Night
“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”
Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.
“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.
“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders. 
“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.
“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”
She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.
“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.
“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.
“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”
“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”
“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”
“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”
“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”
“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”
“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”
“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”
“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”
“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”
“It’s my adorable face,” he teased. 
“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”
“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”
“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
The Next Night
You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.
He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.
“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.
“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”
He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.
“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.
You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.
“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”
“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.
“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.
“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”
“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”
He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.
“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.
“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”
“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.
“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.
“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”
He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.
“This is fucking awesome,” he said.
“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”
“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”
“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”
“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.
“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”
“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.
“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”
“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”
“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”
“Hm?”
“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.
“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.
“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”
“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”
“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.
“If it’s a problem-“
“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.
“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”
“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.
“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.
“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.
“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”
“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”
“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”
“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.
“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.
“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”
“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.
“Now that’s just sad.”
“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.
“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.
“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“
“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.
“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said. 
“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”
“I’m still sorry.”
“You don’t...talk about her much.”
“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”
“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head. 
“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”
“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”
“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.
“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”
“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”
“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.
“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled. 
“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.
“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you’d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”
“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”
“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.
“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”
“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.
“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”
“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”
“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”
“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”
“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.
“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it.”
“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”
“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”
“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”
“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”
“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”
“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”
“No,” you said.
“No? Why not?”
“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”
You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.
“What?” you snapped at him.
“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”
“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”
“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”
“This is my part of the house.”
“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”
“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”
“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”
“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”
He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.
“What are you doing?” you breathed out.
“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.
“The kids-”
“Not the kids.”
“I don’t remember,” you said quietly. 
“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it. 
He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.
“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”
“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”
“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”
“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.
“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”
“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.
“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”
“Oh.”
“Cause he’s kinda me.”
“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”
“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”
“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.
“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...” 
He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath. 
“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”
“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.
“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.
“All of the above.”
“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,” you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”
“Absolutely,” he said.
“Good,” you said.
“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”
“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”
“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”
“Normally the best course of action,” you said.
“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”
“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”
“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”
“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”
“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”
He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.
You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.
But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids. 
“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”
“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”
“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”
“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.
“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.
“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”
“Is there any other kind?” you said.
“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”
“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.
“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”
“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.
“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”
“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”
“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”
“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.
“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”
“How can you know that?”
“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”
“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.
“Are you ready to try this?”
You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.
“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”
“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”
“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.
“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.
“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed. 
“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk. 
“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.
“I hope not,” he said. 
“Do they know? You want to date?”
“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”
“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”
“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.
“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.
“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”
“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”
“Want help?” you asked.
“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you. 
“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.
“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.
“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”
“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple. 
“Night Y/N,” she said.
“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut. 
“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.
“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”
“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”
“Thinking about what?” you asked.
“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”
“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.
“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said. 
“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”
You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.
“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”
_______
A/N: Read Part 4 here!
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Confession Tapes (K.SM)
Warnings : none that i can think of? 
Word Count : 1527
Synopsis : her best friend handed her a box containing three tapes as her birthday present. confused at first, she sat beside him, watching the videos he had filmed over the last few months, each one ending with a confession. 
“Happy birthday.” Seungmin smiled as he handed me a box, my face filled with confusion when I saw it was filled with discs labeled with numbers. “You asked why I always had a camera. This is why.” He grabbed the first one and walked to my DVD player to get it set up. I placed the box on the coffee table and took a seat on the couch.
 Tape #1
         “Why are you filming, Minnie?” I asked as Seungmin pulled out a camera, aiming it right at me.
           “You’ll find out one day.” He cheesed from behind the camera. He’s always been a bit weird, so I didn’t think too much of it and just carried on setting up the BBQ.
           “Y/N! Seungmin!” I turned when I heard Chan’s voice, just in time for him to wrap his arms around me in a big hug. “Hey Seungmin, why do you got a camera?” I giggled to myself as Chan turned to question the younger boy, while I continued setting the tables in my backyard.
           “It’s a secret.” Chan shrugged at this answer, not bothering to push it any further. Slowly, the rest of our friend group showed up, some offering to help and some questioning Seungmin about his camera, that I’ve noticed was mostly filming me.
           Soon, Chan was at the BBQ cooking the burgers and hotdogs while the rest of us sat around the tables I set up, telling stories, and laughing. Seungmin at the end, filming everyone as the evening progressed. I sipped on my wine as I listened to the stories everyone was sharing, enjoying the free entertainment.
           As the evening came to an end and our friends began to leave, I found Seungmin filming me as I cleaned up. “Is there a reason you’re filming me right now?” I giggled, too shy to look into the camera.
           “Because you’re beautiful and deserve to be on camera.” I felt my face flush at the compliment and I playfully pushed him away.
           “Don’t lie to me.” I giggled, continuing to clean the mess everyone left behind.
           “I would never.” I looked up at him to see he was already looking at me, the biggest smile on his face.
           “I had known for a while that I liked you, but it was this night that I realized I loved you.” Seungmin’s face came on screen as the memory faded to black. “I’m not sure what it was, but I just remember looking at you and feeling complete, like I didn’t need anything else in life if I had you.” My heart was pounding in my chest, and I turned to Seungmin who was already getting up and putting in the next DVD.
           “Seungmin…” He shook his head.
           “Please don’t say anything until the end.”
           Tape #2
         Once again, Seungmin was filming me as I drove us to the beach. It was a tradition we’ve kept up with for many years now, and this year we agreed to allow our other friends to join in. They drove behind us, following closely so they didn’t lose us as we drove to our regular place. “Again?” I asked, glancing over at him quickly with a small smile on my face.
           “Just let me do this. You’ll understand one day.” I just shook my head, not bothering with the questions anymore.
           “Oh Seungmin’s got his camera out again!” Jisung yelled as we were all piling out of our cars. Seungmin didn’t even turn to film the others, keep the camera completely focused on me.
           “Filming Y/N again?” Hyunjin asked, throwing an arm across his shoulders, which Seungmin quickly shrugged off. “Why don’t you love us like you love her?” He teased, poking Seungmin’s cheek with a cute pout on his face.
           “Because you’re not pretty like she is, ugly.” Seungmin teased back, the camera still purely focused on me.
           “Oh does Seungminnie have a crush?” Minho joined in the teasing, resting an arm on my shoulder, and looking between the two of us. “Honestly when you first introduced us to her, I thought she was your girlfriend.”
           “Yah, quit teasing.” I said, brushing Minho’s arm off me and watched as he shrugged. “We’re just really close.” Though a part of me always wondered what it would be like if we were dating. I’d never make the move, too scared to ruin a good thing. Seungmin says all these cute things now, and flirts with me, but what would happen if I made the move and we crossed the boundary from friendship to relationship?
           Just like boyfriends in the past, he’d soon get bored and move on, falling out of love with me just as fast as he fell in love. I’d lose not only a boyfriend, but my best friend, my better half. “You good? The guys were just teasing, don’t take it to heart.” Felix whispered, draping an arm across my shoulders. I noticed then that the others had made their way to the beach, while Seungmin still stood in front of me with the camera. “Let’s enjoy the nice day!” Felix exclaimed, practically dragging me towards the beach, Seungmin following close behind.
           “Honestly, I knew the guys thought you were my girlfriend, and I was okay letting them think that. I didn’t want you to fall for one of them and watch you slip through my fingers.”
           Tape #3
         Seungmin and I decided to take a small vacation to Jeju, just the two of us. As much as we love having the other guys around, it feels as if it’s been forever since the two of us spent time together.
           Going to Jeju is something we used to do with our families when we were kids, so we thought it would be perfect for just the two of us. “Morning Sleeping Beauty.” Seungmin teased, the camera filming me already. I jokingly put my hand over the lens.
           “Going to have to put a warning on this one.” I joked. “Not safe for anyone. Ugly ahead, proceed with caution.” He swatted my hand away and filmed as we walked through the airport, some people in the background looking at us, wondering why he was filming me.
           “There’s no way you could ever be ugly.” He smiled and pinched my cheek with the hand not holding the camera. “Not in my eyes anyway.”
           “Maybe you should get them checked.” I’ve gotten used to his shameless flirting, but my heart still picks up pace every time. I’ve gotten better at hiding how much it effects me, how I hope it’s more than friendly banter.
           “I did. Got them rose tinted glasses.” I lightly pushed his shoulder at the cheesy line.
           The rest of the tape was different recordings from our time in Jeju, edited similar to a drama. A few times, he had handed his camera off to someone so they could film cute moments between the two of us, and we looked so much like a couple. I remember so many people asked how long we’d been together. Neither one of us ever denied the assumptions though, just blushing at the question.
           “I think you’re always beautiful, but during this trip, you looked to ethereal to me. It was during this trip that I knew I couldn’t wait much longer. Every part of me wanted to kiss you every night we watched the sunset, but I held back. I’m giving you my entire heart, whether you accept it or not, and I don’t want it back. It’s yours, Y/N.” The tape faded to black, and Seungmin stayed seated on the couch beside me.
           Silence surrounded us as I let everything sink in. My best friend has been in love with me for years. A part of me is scared to accept, scared to lose him. But another part of me is screaming at me to kiss him, accept his heart. It’s always been Kim Seungmin, and I know it will always be Kim Seungmin.
           I don’t want to watch him fall in love with anyone else. I want to wake up to his face, pepper his face in kisses as we slowly make our way out of bed. I want to cook with him, no matter how many mistakes we make, and how many times we almost burn the house down. I want to walk down the street holding his hand, show off our love to anyone who will watch. I want his good days, when he’s smiling and full of energy, teasing the boys and playing pranks. I want his bad days when he’s quiet, reading a book and ignoring everyone but me. I want lazy days in where we don’t leave the bed except to answer the door for the food we ordered. I want the exciting days out where we try new things and go to new places.
           I want Kim Seungmin.
           “I accept.” I whisper after some time, causing his head to turn towards me with such speed I’m surprised he didn’t get whiplash. “Only if you take my heart in return.”
           “I’ll never break it.”
           “I love you, Kim Seungmin.”
           “I’ll always love you more.”
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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
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TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part Two (Harry Styles)
a/n: you guys thank you so much for all the love you’ve showed part one!! 🥺 im so happy you like the story! i wanted to post part two a little later, in the weekend but i got so happy for all the reactions that i decided to move it earlier so here it is! i’ll try to update soon, the longest it will take is one week probably. im working on my thesis and have a lot of school work so please be patient with me! feedback is very much welcomed, as always, your reactions and comments mean so much to me!!
pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader
warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce
word count: 10.4k
SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist
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Pulling Izzy out of daycare dramatically lessened the amount of time she could spend with her friends, so the situation needs extra attention on her socializing. You’ve been trying to take her to the park as much as possible so she could meet with kids her age and Harry has been arranging a lot of playdates for her with her friends from daycare.
When you come back from meeting your brother for lunch on a Sunday, you are greeted with not two, but eight little feet running around the living room, many of Izzy’s toys have been brought downstairs and the coffee table is filled with fruits, snacks and drinks for the kids. You know the two little guests, it’s Yara and Zac, the three of them were like a little gang back when Izzy was attending daycare. Yara’s moms and Zac’s mom are sitting on the terrace, letting the kids roam around freely, Harry is in the kitchen preparing some sandwiches for the guests when you arrive back.
“Hi, do you need help with anything?” you ask, catching his attention.
“Oh, hi! No I’m fine, thank you. How was lunch with your brother?”
“Great,” you smile at him before leaving him to do whatever he has to do.
“Miss Y/N!” Yara greets you, waving in your way while munching on an apple slice.
“Hello Yara, Zac,” you smile at them before walking out to the terrace to greet the parents. “Hi! Ava, Saige, it’s nice to see you again. And Linda, hello!”
“Y/N, hi! Harry told us you might return soon, so good to see you!” Ava greets you as you join them at the table. They’ve been the nicest parents while you were working at the daycare, though you weren’t the only victim of the closed-minded cowards that got you fired. Ava and Saige have faced quite a lot of backlash for basically daring to be a same-sex couple out in the open. You’ve heard many complaints from other parents about how they don’t want them to pick up their daughter together. Apparently, it’s confusing for the kids to see two women to be the mothers of the same child. Ridiculous.
“I was out having lunch with my brother. How have you been?”
“Things are the same, you know,” Saige shrugs with a scowl. “But your firing has got us thinking about pulling Yara out as well.”
“Oh!”
“Yeah, it’s starting to get really ridiculous. I mean it’s one thing that we get weird looks, but firing you was kind of the last straw,” Ava nods.
“And how have you been here, Y/N? How is working for Harry?” Linda asks.
“Oh, it’s amazing, really. I love taking care of Izzy, she is so easy to handle and I love seeing her learn and grow. And Harry is a great boss, I got really lucky.”
“Lucky indeed!” Ava smirks, making them all laugh as you feel yourself blushing. “Even I sometimes dream about the man,” she adds, keeping her tone down.
“How do you keep your cool?” Linda sighs. “If I had to live with this man, I would go nuts.”
“Well, Izzy keeps me pretty busy, and he is my boss, so…”
“It’s not like HR would be up your ass if you got involved,” Saige shrugs, taking a sip from her iced tea.
You don’t get to react, the kids run out, taking over the playground, Harry arriving right behind them with a plate filled with sandwiches for the guests.
“Ladies, sorry for the wait,” he smiles, placing the food to the table as he joins your little circle.
“Oh Harry, thank you so much!” Ava sighs, grabbing one already. “We were just talking to Y/N about how big of an upgrade it is for her to work here.”
“Is it?” he asks, slightly surprised as he glances over at you.
“I mean, the paycheck is better and it’s clearly a better environment,” you chuckle shrugging.
“I just don’t know why Claire lets those assholes control the place. She is the boss there, she should stand up against them,” Linda scowls.
“She is just trying to avoid confrontation.”
“No, she is afraid they would stop paying the daycare the money, so she is an ass-kisser,” Saige scoffs, making you laugh.
“Well, at least I have Y/N now to take good care of Izzy,” Harry smiles, his eyes meeting yours and you swear your heart skips a beat when he says that he has you.
“Lucky bastard!” Ava throws her hands into the air, making everyone laugh.
Enjoying the company, you stay outside instead of locking yourself up in your room. It’s nice to see the moms occasionally pick on Harry, they surely like to joke about him being a hot single dad, but he usually just blushes and smiles at the compliments. Linda and Zac leave first, then Ava, Saige and Yara head home as well when it’s nearing five in the afternoon. Though Harry tells you to just leave the cleanup for him, you insist on helping.
“Now I feel bad you are working on your day off,” he huffs as you help him around in the kitchen.
“It’s not working,” you roll your eyes. “I live here too, of course I’m gonna help keeping it clean.”
“You know, if your brother ever wants to come over, feel free to invite him.”
“Might take your word, because he is very curious about the place,” you chuckle. Harry smiles as he starts washing the dishes.
“He is welcomed anytime.”
“Thank you.” Putting away the snacks that was left you start drying the dishes while he is washing them, working next to each other in silence. Unlike his usual attire, he is now wearing just a plain white t-shirt with light-washed jeans. “You’re quite the moms’ favorite,” you tease him, earning a soft chuckle from him.
“Saige and Ava like to pull my leg, but I know they mean well.”
“They are great people, I always liked them,” you smile glancing at him.
“I remember when I first met them at a parents’ meeting, they spotted how lost I was among all the moms and asked if I wanted to sit with them. Then Izzy became friends with Yara so we met quite a few times.”
“I find it a little funny we never met while I was working at the daycare. Izzy was in my group for almost a year and we just never ran into each other.”
Harry licks his lips before turning his gaze to you, finishing up the dishes and turning the water off.
“I saw you.” Your eyebrows shoot up. How did you not see him?
“Really?”
“Yeah, just a few times. Mostly it was Ruth who picked up Izzy these past few months. I had a huge project that ended just before you started here, so I didn’t have the chance to pick her up that much. But I saw you a few times. You were just always busy with the kids, I guess… you didn’t notice me,” he shrugs, holding his arms on his chest as he leans against the counter.
“It could get pretty intense sometimes even though it was just a daycare,” you chuckle, remembering to all the tantrums and fussy dramas that happened between the kids. Sometimes it felt more like a high school than a daycare, especially when friends were taken and lovestories happened through lunchtimes.
“Daddy! What are we having for dinner?” Izzy runs into the kitchen, tippy-tapping her hands on the counter that she can barely reach.
“Macaroni and cheese.”
“Yes! Maccy cheese!” Izzy cheers throwing her hands into the air. Harry smiles down at her, ruffling her hair and you can’t push down a smile at what she just called mac and cheese.
Harry starts prepping for dinner, he puts on some music that Izzy dances to and though you try to leave them be and enjoy their alone time, Izzy insists you stay and help as well.
“Izzy, let Y/N do what she wants, this is her day off,” Harry warns her, making her pout her lips at you. Not that you would have said no to her, but now you definitely can’t leave.
“It’s alright. I’m happy to help.”
Izzy sits on the counter in a safe distance from the stove, her duty is to watch the pasta cook while Harry takes care of the sauce and you set the table, knowing it won’t take long for the food to be ready.
“Daddy?” Izzy speaks up, tilting her head to the side.
“Yes, baby?”
“I love Maccy cheese. Does mom like it too?”
Harry’s eyes flicker over to you, as if he is embarrassed you caught a moment that shouldn’t have been revealed and you can tell he is still kind of torn how to handle the mentioning of his late wife. You keep a straight face, making yourself busy with cleaning off the counter top. You wouldn’t want to make him think he can’t talk about Maggie in your presence.
“Um, yeah. Mommy loves mac and cheese,” he nods, giving her knees a little squeeze before moving her off the counter to take care of the pasta.
Your eyes meet Harry’s gaze when you bring some water to the table and you can tell he is still thinking about the slip you just heard, but you give him a soft smile, trying your best to assure him nothing bad happened.
Izzy babbles through dinner about everything she did with Yara and Zac today, excited to see them as soon as possible and Harry promises her to arrange a meeting for them in the park sometime next week. You try to help with cleaning up, but Harry doesn’t let you, so pouring yourself a nice glass of wine you sit in the living room to watch some TV before going to bed. After dinner, Harry takes Izzy upstairs to give her a bath and once that’s done she is allowed to play some more in her room.
Harry joins you soon on the couch with a glass of wine as well, seemingly tired from all the socializing he did. Peeking at him while the evening news is playing on the screen, you notice that he is not even paying attention, deep in his thoughts he is pulling on his bottom lip like he always does whenever he is deep in focus. You have a guess what he is thinking about, but you want to give him the time and space to figure out if he is ready to share or not.
“I, uhh—I never really told you why it’s just Izzy and I,” he speaks up and you turn to him with patience, knowing the importance of him bringing it up. “My wife… Maggie, she… We got married about six years ago and then two years later we had Izzy. She was six months old when Maggie…”
He is struggling to find the words, or to just even think about it and you don’t want him to feel like he has to tell you about any of it.
“Harry, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to. I always feel bad that I don’t talk about her, makes it look like I’m trying to forget about her, but that’s not at all the case, it’s just… hard to think about how long it’s been and I still feel like it was just… last week.”
Harry sniffles and you’re not sure if it’s because he is getting emotional to the point where he is going to start crying or it’s nothing significant, but you feel the urge to assure him about your support. Reaching over you put your hand to his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. His eyes first fall to your hand and then to you, a sense of softness shining back from his green irises as he lets out a shaky breath.
“It was a car accident. She was driving home late night from her sister’s and a drunk driver ran the red light, crashed right into her car. They both were rushed into hospital, but Maggie’s lungs collapsed and she… they couldn’t help her. The guy had surgery and though he broke quite a few bones and had a serious concussion, he survived.”
You have to bite into your bottom lip, already feeling the tears welling in your eyes, but you quickly blink them away. You can only imagine what it’s like to be called and find out your wife was killed because of the dumb mistake of someone else. And to think that Izzy was still so small, Harry was left with a baby and the immense grief so suddenly, it must have been the toughest time he had to go through.
“I’m really sorry, Harry,” you quietly tell him, his eyes flickering up to meet yours and they are glistening from the tears. He just nods, blinking a few times before drinking up his wine.
Before anything else could be said, you hear Izzy running down the stairs, soon throwing herself to the couch, cuddling to Harry’s side.
“Hey baby, want to go to sleep already?” he asks, softly brushing through her hair with his fingers. Izzy nods, blinking sleepily. Harry scoops her into his arms standing up from the couch and he is reaching for his empty glass, but you take it before he could.
“I’ll wash it, don’t worry about it,” you smile at him.
“Thank you,” he breathes out, holding Izzy tight before the two of them disappear upstairs.
You don’t stay out too long yourself either, washing the glasses you let a single tear run down your cheek before quickly wiping it away and heading up to your room.
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The past two years you’ve been taking gigs as a photographer more and more, going to weddings, birthday parties, baby showers or anniversaries to snap photos of others’ most precious moments. You are not a professional, nor do you treat yourself as one, but the more events you attended and the more work you put out, the more popular you started to get. Now you have about two bookings every month and you are able to ask for a quite impressive amount of money for a session that people are willing to pay for your pictures.
You’ve been putting off your gigs since you moved into the Styles mansion, wanting to focus on all the changes in your lives, but now that you’ve gotten quite used to your new life one month into it, you are getting back to your usual. This Saturday you’re doing a photoshoot of a soon-to-be-wedded pair who also booked you for their upcoming wedding in a few weeks. It’s kind of an engagement photoshoot since they couldn’t do one when they got engaged months ago, but they didn’t want to miss out on the chance to do one before they official tie the knot.
Harry and Izzy are planning to go to the zoo today, something she’s been begging to do for weeks now and Harry finally gave in, so all three of you are going to be quite busy today. The photoshoot takes place at this fancy, mid-century styled café the couple chose, so you decide to dress up yourself a little too. Putting on a maroon colored pencil skirt that hugs your hips and waist tight, you tuck into it a white silky blouse, making you appear like some kind of eyecandy assistant straight out of a Hollywood movie, especially with your low bun, which is less for the look but more for practicality, since you don’t like it when your hair gets caught in the straps of your camera.
Swinging your camera bag to one shoulder and your handbag to the other one, your camera hanging from your neck, you head downstairs, rushing a little because you’re short on time already. Izzy is sitting on one of the stools at the kitchen island while Harry is packing them some lunch and snacks for the day.
“Oh! Y/N, you look so pretty!” Izzy beams at you when you near the corner. She is dangling her legs playfully, her piggy tails curling adorably on each sides of her head. Harry’s head snaps up and his lips part upon spotting you.
“Thank you, Sunshine,” you smile at her, caressing her cheek, tickling her a little that makes her giggle.
“Where are you going?” she asks curiously.
“Izzy, don’t question her all the time, that’s not too nice,” Harry warns her, but you just shake your head.
“It’s alright. I have a photoshoot today. I have to take pictures of a couple that’s going to get married soon,” you explain to her and Harry’s ears perk up, eyeing the camera that’s hanging from your neck.
“I didn’t know you are a photographer,” Harry hums, closing the cooler.
“Well, I’m not a professional, but I’ve been doing photoshoots here and there.”
“That’s amazing!” he smiles warmly.
“Thanks. Well, I gotta go because I’m running a little late. Have fun at the zoo!” you smile, at them before walking out. You reach the front door but stop for a moment to read the text the bride has sent you letting you know they are running a little late as well. That’s when you hear the conversation between Harry and Izzy coming from the kitchen.
“She looked so pretty!” Izzy sighs. You expect Harry to just hum or ignore her words, but for your surprise, he answers her.
“Yeah, she really does.”
You blush like a teenage girl, feeling your heart fluttering in your chest as you smile, walking out of the house.
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The father-daughter duo is still out when you get home later. You make yourself a tea and sit out to the terrace with your computer, starting to edit the photos right away so you can send then over to the couple as soon as possible. They turned out pretty good, you love the colorful vibe the café had and it went well with the pair’s outfits.
You get so into editing that you don’t even notice Harry and Izzy arriving home, just when the sliding door opens and Izzy runs up to you, holding a stuffed animal that appears to be an otter.
“Y/N, look what daddy got me!” she cheers holding up the toy.
“Oh my god, it’s really cute!” You pull her to sit on your lap as she hugs the toy, clearly happy to have a new addition to her already existing army. Harry walks out with a bottle of water and a glass. Joining the two of you at the table, he pours some water for Izzy and makes her drink it.
“We spent an entire hour watching the otters,” he chuckles, brushing Izzy’s hair out of her face as she chugs the water down.
“Can’t blame you, they are really cute,” you chuckle. Izzy puts the empty glass down and hops off your lap before announcing that she is gonna show her new toy around in the backyard before running away from you.
“Are those… the pictures from today?” Harry shyly asks, eyeing your laptop’s screen.
“Oh, yeah. Wanted to get a headstart on editing,” you nod turning it so he can have a better look. “Want to see what I got so far?”
“Of course!” he nods smiling.
You click through the photos you’ve already edited, there are about ten in total and you’re quite satisfied with how they turned out to be.
“Wow, they look… really good, Y/N.”
“Thank you,” you smile blushing a little.
“What events do you usually do?”
“Mostly weddings and engagement shoots, birthdays, these kinds of stuff.”
“It’s really amazing,” he nods smiling.
“I… Hope you won’t be mad but I’ve shot a few pictures of Izzy too these past weeks,” you admit, hoping he won’t get upset for you, doing it without his permission. “I didn’t use them anywhere, I wasn’t planning to, I just thought they were nice moments.”
“Oh, can I see them?”
“Of course!”
Opening up the folder you put her pictures into, you start clicking through the few photos you took of her. There’s one of her during her swimming lesson, laughing happily as she holds onto the edge of the pool, her wet locks sticking to her head. Then there’s one when the two of you were baking cupcakes and she got icing all over her face and tried to lick it off, her tongue sticking out on the picture. There are some of her just roaming around the backyard, exploring the bugs hiding in the grass, some of her napping with her favorite stuffed animals on the couch and then the last one was taken when she was jumping in her bed, you caught her up in the air, the widest smile on her face as she was laughing straight into the camera.
“Y/N, these are… wow. They are all so good, I love them!”
“Really?” Your smile grows wide, happy that he likes them.
“Yeah! Do you think… do you think you can send them to me?”
“Of course! I can get them printed for you, if you’d like. There’s a place where I go to get my photos printed, they make them look like they were taken on an analog, old school camera, I love that little extra touch on the pictures.”
“That would be fantastic,” he smiles, clearly in awe of your work.
You spend the rest of the afternoon editing while Harry and Izzy take over the kitchen as usual. When you’re on your way up to your room with your laptop after you decided to call it a day, you catch them in there, Izzy making Harry dance around with her while they are chopping the veggies. Harry is swaying his lips to the rhythm, humming to the song as Izzy is jumping and twirling around, singing from the top of her lungs. Despite the terrible loss of her mother, there’s no doubt Izzy is having the best possible childhood, getting all the love she deserves from her dad and you feel happy you are here to witness them grow together.
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You did not see your parents’ divorce coming, probably because it’s been over six years since you’ve moved out and you only saw them every other week at best. You always tried to come around as often as possible, wanting to spend time with Trevor and of course, them as well, but you had to focus on building your own life. You had to worry about your work, your own living space and not much later you started dating Keith so you were pretty busy to say the least. You weren’t there when things started to go downhill, but Trevor was. He had to suffer through every fight and screaming match they had without any support and you’ve always felt guilty about it, but you couldn’t just move back home. However you’ve always tried to do everything you could to support him through these hard times. He knew he could call you anytime he had enough of the spiteful atmosphere at home and you were quick to come to his rescue.
You were mad at your parents, there’s no need to lie about it. But not because of getting a divorce, you knew better than to expect them to suffer in a marriage they weren’t happy in, but the way they handled has always been just… unacceptable. Especially because in the midst of their anger and hatred towards each other they started to forget that they still had a kid living home who had to listen to everything they threw at each other, things no son should ever hear about his parents, no matter if they were true or not.
Being a teenager in high school is stressful enough as it is, but having to deal with your parents’ nasty divorce is just something no teenager should have to go through. Trevor has been dealing with it for a while now and he is trying his best to just shut them out whenever they are going at it, but sometimes it’s not that easy. That’s when he seeks comfort at you.
It’s a Thursday evening when your parents decide to drive Trevor up the wall with their screaming and fighting again. You’re watching a movie with Izzy and Harry in the entertainment room, working on your laptop simultaneously, confirming some photoshoots for the upcoming weekends. Harry has let Izzy play with his hair while watching the movie, so now she is all over her daddy, decorating his hair with little hairclips and hair ties while the man is just sitting there without a complaint.
Your phone starts buzzing on the couch and Trevor’s photo is flashing on the screen. Putting the laptop aside, you grab your phone and walk out of the room not to disturb them with your call.
“Hey!” you greet him happily, but your stomach immediately drops when you hear him draw a shaky breath on the other end of the line. “Trev? What’s wrong?”
“Can I please spend the night at yours?” he pleads weakly.
“What happened, are you alright?” you perk up right away.
“It’s just… dad came over this afternoon and they went at it again and now they are doing it over the phone, mom is like really out of her mind right now. I have a math test tomorrow and I don’t think I can sleep here like this. She is still screaming at him over the phone.”
“I’m leaving right now, pack a bag, alright?”
“Thanks,” he breathes out and ends the call. Rushing back into the entertainment room Harry turns to you while Izzy is still busy with his hair.
“Uh, I know it’s really sudden and all, but my brother just called, would it be fine if he spent the night over here?” Even though Harry himself told you it’s fine to have people over, you still feel like you need to ask for his permission, especially if your guest is planning to stay the night.
“Is he alright? Of course he can come over.” Sitting straight up he asks Izzy to sit down a little which she gladly does, turning her attention towards the movie.
“It’s just, um, our parents are having another scream match. They are… They are in the middle of getting a divorce and they are not handling it right,” you let out a bitter chuckle.
“Oh, I’m sorry about that. Do you need me to come with you? You seem very upset, you sure you can drive?”
“No, it’s alright, but thanks. I’m fine. I’ll be back soon with him and thank you so much for letting him stay,” you breathe out. He just nods with a sympathetic smile before you turn around and leave.
Through the drive over to the house where you grew up your anger just grows with each turn you take. You love your parents to death, they raised you in a quite unusual and hard situation, they had to grow up with you when they had you so young, but they always made sure to give you everything you needed. And you know they have the same kind of love towards Trevor, but their hatred for each other is blinding them and they probably don’t even realize how much it affects him, but you are not letting them ruin everything because they fell out of love. Trevor deserves the same kind of supportive and loving environment to grow up in just like the one you had and there’s nothing that could change that.
Pulling up to the driveway you take a deep breath as you march up to the front porch and use your keys to let yourself in. The shouting hits your ears right away, it’s coming from the kitchen, but Trevor is the first one you spot on the top of the stairs. His hood is on and he has a backpack in his hands as he comes down the stairs with a pained and tired face.
“Hey! Left the car open, go get in there, I’ll be out in a minute,” you softly tell him as you give him a quick hug.
“Thanks,” he mumbles before walking out.
Following your mother’s voice to the kitchen you find her with a half empty bottle of wine, cussing your father out through the phone.
“Go and fuck that bitch you went out to have dinner with last weekend! Yes I know about that!” she spats and you wince at her words.
“Mom!” you call out, but she doesn’t even register your voice.
“Fuck you, Fred! Fuck you!” she continues, so you raise your voice a little more.
“Mom!” This time she finally hears it and turning around she looks at you with wide eyes.
“Y/N! What are you doing here? You didn’t say you were coming,” she adds, her voice soft and weak this time, the anger long gone from it.
“I’m here to pick Trevor up. Put dad on speaker, I want to have a word with you two,” you tell her firmly and she gulps hard, nodding as she sets the phone to the counter, putting your dad on speaker.
“Y/N? What’s going on?” you hear him question from the other end of the line.
“I could ask the same thing!” you snap back, fed up with the way they have been acting. They might have lost a good chunk of their youth because they were busy taking care of you after having at just nineteen, but that doesn’t give them the right to act like literal cavemen in front of your brother.
“Trevor called me all upset, begging me to come and get him. What is wrong with you two? You have been at each other’s throats all the damn time, it is not healthy not just for Trevor but to either of you!”
“Y/N, sweetie, there’s just a lot going on—“ your mother tries to explain, but you cut her off.
“I don’t fucking care! Whatever is going on between the two of you, Trevor should be first! No matter what! He needs you both, he needs the support and love, but he is only getting the screaming and fighting. This is not right!”
“It’s a hard situation, you have to be patient with us, Y/N,” your father sighs over the phone and you can’t hold your ironic laughter back.
“Patient? I’ve been patient with you these past about five months since you’ve been literally tearing each other to pieces. Do yourselves and everyone else a favor and just get it over with. Dad, pick up all your stuff and don’t come here for mom’s sake. Mom, don’t snoop around dad’s life, because it’s not your business anymore. Stop being ignorant and maybe start to think about the kid you still have living near you.”
Your words might have been harsh, but it needed to be said. You can tell by your mother’s shocked expression and from the way your dad is dead silent in the call that your message finally hit them in the head and you hope they are willing to get their shit together so Trevor doesn’t lose his mind.
“Trevor is staying with me tonight, we’ll see when he wants to come back, but you better think about what I just told you,” you warn them before walking out and leaving them to think about their actions finally.
Trevor stays silent on the road back to Harry’s and you don’t try to force him to talk, it’s clear he has had enough for today. Arriving back home you park your car next to Harry’s Range Rover and the two of you walk inside in silence.
It’s past Izzy’s bedtime so you’re not surprised to find only Harry in the kitchen when you walk into the house. Harry seems cautious, almost worried as he spots you and Trevor in the hallway.
“Trevor, this is my boss, Harry. Harry, this is my brother, Trevor,” you introduce them to each other quickly. They shake hands with a manly nod.
“Thanks for letting me stay here tonight,” Trevor clears his throat, feeling a little out of place.
“No worries. Feel free to use any of the guest bedrooms,” Harry smiles softly.
“Oh, we’ll be fine sleeping in my room,” you assure him but Harry shakes his head at your words.
“We have plenty of space. Please, use them!”
“Thank you,” Trevor mumbles and you shoot Harry a thankful look before walking your brother upstairs.
You opt for the room next to yours, Help Trevor get comfortable, making sure he has everything he needs for the night.
“Did you get into a fight with mom and dad?” he asks, when you are sitting on the edge of his bed, about to leave him alone.
“I just told them to get their shit together,” you chuckle, giving his leg a squeeze under the covers. He cracks a smile at you, but it’s not as genuine as it should be. “I’ll drive you to school in the morning. My room is right next to this one, come over if you need anything, alright?”
“Thanks,” he mumbles, pulling the covers up to his chin.
“Good night, Trev,”you tell him switching the lights off and walking towards the door.
“Good night, Y/N,” he calls after you before you close the door, letting out a long breath.
As you make your way down to the kitchen you see that Harry is still there, his eyes snap up to you, filled with concern and worry.
“Everything alright?” he asks as you make yourself a tea.
“Yeah, he was just fed up with the constant screaming. I can’t blame him, my mother didn’t even realize I was there until I raised my voice at her.”
“I’m sorry about that. Must be hard dealing with high school and a nasty divorce.”
“It is,” you sigh. “But thank you for letting him stay, really.” “I meant it when I said it’s just as much your home as it is ours. He can come over anytime, don’t worry about that,” he shrugs.
“Thank you. I’ll drive him to school in the morning, but I’ll be back by the time you leave, is that alright?”
“Of course,” he smiles warmly. “You two look a lot alike.”
“We get that a lot,” you chuckle. “It’s the eyes and nose shape, I think. We got those from our mother.”
“People say I look like my sister too, but I don’t really see it, if I’m being honest,” he chuckles lightly.
“Yeah? Why?”
“No idea,” he shakes his head laughing. “I just don’t see it, but I couldn’t tell you really.”
Sipping on your tea you stay in the kitchen with Harry, the light conversation about his sister and eventually his mother eases the stress that has been gripping on your chest from the encounter you had with your parents earlier. You’re not sure if he tried to talk you through it because he saw how much you needed the distraction or if it’s just how he is, but either way, he really helped you to relax.
Cleaning after yourself the two of you head to bed, saying good night to each other before disappearing in your rooms.
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“This place is like… really huge,” Trevor sighs in awe when the two of you are eating breakfast together the next morning.
“I told you, it’s a mansion,” you chuckle, digging into your oatmeal. “I’ll show you around next time you’re here.”
“T’was nice of Harry to let me stay,” he hums.
“Mhm, he is a cool boss,” you smile at him.
“And kinda handsome…” Glancing at Trevor you see the sly smirk on his lips and you give him a stern look.
“Stop right there, alright? No funny thoughts!”
“Funny thoughts?” he laughs leaning back in his seat. “I just made a statement that he is a nice looking man, that’s it. Do you not agree?”
“I’m not commenting on the topic,” you diplomatically answer.
“On what topic?” Harry appears from the stairs, making you both turn his way. “Good morning,” he smiles warmly.
“Morning!” Trevor nods his way before he turns back to you, still smirking. You narrow your eyes at him before answering Harry.
“The topic doesn’t matter. Morning, Harry!”
He pours himself some coffee that you brew earlier before joining the two of you at the dining table. He strikes up a conversation with Trevor, asking him about school and his future plans once he graduates and luckily, Trevor is on his best behavior despite the comment he made earlier, he is not trying to put you into an uncomfortable situation. He knows better, because if he upsets you now, he will not be returning to the mansion, that’s for sure.
“Alright, get your stuff, we are leaving in five,” you tell him when both of you are done eating. Nodding he disappears upstairs as you take care of the dishes quickly.
“Is he staying tonight as well?” Harry asks, following you into the kitchen.
“Oh, no. I’m sure mom wants to talk to him after last night, so it’s better if he goes home.”
“Hope things will get easier for him,” he smiles and you return it, thankful that he let him stay here when he really needed a place for himself.
“Thanks for everything, Harry” Trevor smiles at him when he arrives with his backpack.
“Of course, come back soon, but under more peaceful conditions,” he chuckles nodding in his way.
“I’ll be back soon!” you call out before walking out of the house with your brother.
“So how long have you been crushing on your boss?” Trevor asks in the car and your eyes widen as you try to keep the car straight in the lane.
“Excuse you?”
“Come on, Y/N. It’s kinda obvious, you swoon at everything the man says, haven’t seen you this soft since your high school graduation,” he chuckles, finding your reaction quite entertaining, but you’re not enjoying the situation that much.
“I do not have a crush on Harry,” you shake your head laughing, but you can’t ignore the knot in your stomach at your own words. Was this that big of a lie?
“That’s too bad because I think he has a thing for you too,” he shrugs, carelessly staring out the window, like it’s that casual to discuss you and your boss having possible feelings for each other.
“When did you become an expert on these stuff?” you huff, glancing at him shortly before turning back to face the road.
“I’m not an expert, but I’m not blind either. And I saw the way he looked at you.”
“What way?” you scoff.
“Like he is thankful you are walking this Earth.”
“Did you take this from a rom-com on Netflix?” you tease him, but he just shrugs. “Of course he is thankful, I’m helping him with his daughter. It’s not easy being a single parent and I’m helping him immensely. But there’s nothing else behind that.”
“Sure, good luck convincing yourself,” he sighs when you park the car down at his school. “Thanks for the ride and the night too. I’ll call you later.”
Leaning over the console he gives you a quick hug before hopping out of the car and walking towards the main building.
Arriving back home you find Izzy sitting on the couch with a bowl of cereal on her lap, watching her favorite morning cartoon, but no sign of Harry and for a moment you get scared you got back too late, but then you realize he wouldn’t leave Izzy home alone.
“Hey Sunshine, did you sleep well?” you ask, caressing her rosy cheek as you join her on the couch.
“Mhm, what are we doing today?” she asks, showing a spoonful of cereal into her mouth.
“You have French class today with Lyon and in the afternoon I thought we could learn about otters. You seemed to like them a lot at the zoo.”
“Yes! They are so cute!” she cheers happily just when you hear footsteps coming from the stairs. Turning around you spot Harry walking towards the living room, but your lips part immediately when you see that he is putting on another shirt, his naked chest on display since he hasn’t buttoned it fully. What you saw not long ago from your balcony is now so much closer, the swallows peeking out from under the shirt and you see the little cross pendant hanging between his pecs, something you’ve only seen if he pulled it out of his shirts which didn’t happen that often.
Harry stops in his tracks when he sees you on the couch with Izzy and a blush paints his cheeks.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t know you were back,” he breathes out, his fingers working fast on the buttons to get himself presentable again though you wish he would just get rid of the whole thing… “Izzy spilled some juice on me so I had to change quickly,” he explains, finishing with the buttons and he quickly fixes it so he looks just as spotless as always.
“You poured too much into my cup!” Izzy defends herself furrowing her eyebrows at her dad.
“Of course it was my fault, who else’s would have it been?” Harry huffs as he presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Y/N, I have something to ask you.”
“Go ahead.”
“I know it’s pretty sudden and on a very short notice but could you maybe look after Izzy tonight? Niall called me and begged to meet up with him for a few drinks. I would call Ruth, but she is out of town this week.”
“Oh sure! No problem,” you smile at him.
“Are you sure you don’t have anything to do? Don’t feel pressured to say yes, I should have asked in advance, it’s just—“ “Harry, it’s fine. I’m okay looking after her tonight,” you assure him before he talks himself down from letting you do it. “Go have fun, you barely get out of the house without Izzy.” If you’re being honest the only place he goes to without his daughter is work and it’s a little saddening, he deserves some time out from his daddy duties.
“Thank you,” he smiles at you with gratitude. “I won’t be out too long, I promise.”
“No worries, have fun with Niall,” you wave in dismiss.
“Thanks. Have a great day. Be good, baby. I’ll see you in the afternoon.” Harry kisses Izzy’s forehead before grabbing his suit jacket, wallet, keys and phone and heads out to start his day.
“Alright, daddy is off to work and we also have a day ahead of us. Come on, let’s get started,” you smile at Izzy who nods in agreement.
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Harry swears he didn’t come home earlier than his usual because he feels bad for asking you to cover the evening, but you know that’s a blatant lie. He is home by three and frees you for the rest of the afternoon, leaving you with about two extra hours. He informs you that he would be leaving around seven, so dinner time will still be his duty, but you’ll have to put Izzy to bed at her usual time, which works perfectly for you.
A little before seven Harry disappears to take a quick shower and get changed before heading out, while you sit out in the living room with Izzy, reading her from a book she chose after dinner.
When Harry returns, he is dressed more casually than he usually does for work, wearing a pair of beige slacks and a black shirt tucked into it, the first three buttons left undone, showing just a hint of his tattooed chest for the viewers.
“Okay, I just called a car, it’ll be here any minute. Please call me if anything happens, I could come home anytime.”
“Harry, I take care of her all day, I’m sure we’ll be fine for one evening as well,” you chuckle, trying to ease his nervousness about leaving his daughter home at a time he is not used to.
“Right,” he lets out a soft chuckle. “Thank you again. And Izzy, be good. Y/N will put you to bed tonight, but I’ll be here in the morning, okay?”
“Okay!” she sings, completely fine with the new arrangement.
“Alright, see you soon, good night!” he calls out on his way out of the house.
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Sitting at the rooftop bar, Harry and Niall take up a small table for two near the railing so they have a nice view of the city below them. The waitress brings their order, tequila on the rocks for Harry and a good pint for Niall, and the latter man can’t ignore the fact how pretty she is in her tight white shirt and short black skirt, smiling coyly at the men as she asks if they want anything else.
“We’re good for now, Darling. Thank yeh,” Niall smirks and even winks at the woman, who is seemingly enjoying the attention from him, but deep down she would be happier if it was Harry who was trying to flirt with him. However he is busy on his phone, typing out an email even at this ungodly hour, which pisses his friend off.
“Would you stop being a workaholic prick and maybe glance at the woman that wants to fuck the shit out of you?” Niall snaps at him, grabbing his attention, but he just rolls his eyes.
“That would require my interest as well, which is not there.”
“That’s fucking sad. Really, mate. How long are you going to act like a crybaby? I’m getting tired of your long face. I get it, shit happened, but you eventually have to move on.”
Harry tries to ignore his words, eyes glued to the screen of his phone hoping his friend would just drop it, but that’s not what Niall is like. So instead of leaving him to be, he grabs his phone, snaps it right out of his hands and then shoves it into his pocket.
“Hey! What the fuck?!” he growls at his friend who just gives him a hard look.
“Harry, I’m worried about you. You do nothing, just work and be with Izzy.”
“So you’re saying I shouldn’t spend time with my daughter?” he asks twisting his words.
“You know that’s not what I mean. Spend as much time with her as possible, but don’t forget to take care of yourself.”
“I’m taking care of myself. I sleep and eat well and I workout regularly. I don’t see what else I might need.” “Fuck. You need to fuck,” he points out, making Harry roll his eyes again.
“You know, sometimes I question why we are even friends…” Harry grumbles under his breath as he takes a sip from his drink, feeling like he definitely needs the alcohol if Niall is gonna pick on him all night.
“Because I’m the one who pushes you out of your pit of sorrow, m’friend. And right now I feel like I need to step in, because you are turning into a bitter old man.”
“I’m not bitter,” Harry narrows his eyes at him.
“And neither are you old, so why are you acting like you are?”
“Look, I know that you are a fan of the bachelor life, going to parties, sleeping around with any woman you can get, but that’s just not for me, it never was, not even a long time ago.”
“I’m not trying to get you to act like a frat boy, Har. I know you are too soft for that, but I think it might be time for you to, I don’t know, open up a bit.”
“Open up?”
“Yeah! Go out, meet new people, preferably women,” he adds with a knowing look. “It’s been more than three years, Harry. You can’t stay at home and mope around forever.”
“I really don’t think we should be having this conversation right now.”
“If not now, then when? I tried to talk to you about it many times, but you always just dodged it, so I gave you more time to adjust to the situation, but I think we are over that,” Niall sighs, leaning onto the table. “We both know time flies by. Soon Izzy will go to school, she’ll have her own little life and before you could even blink twice, she is gonna be a teenager, barely talking to you, only caring about some boyband, her friends and shows. The time will come when you’ll have to step back a little and I don’t want you to stay alone.”
“First of all, Izzy is 4 and she won’t be allowed to even think about being independent until she is twenty,” Harry starts off as Niall rolls his eyes at him.
“Yeah, sure. You’ll have an amazing time when she becomes a teenager.”
“Don’t even talk about her being a teenager.”
“It’s going to happen!” Niall snaps and Harry narrows his eyes at him. “Okay, let’s just calm down.” He takes a deep breath even though he is the only one getting mad right now. Harry might feel uncomfortable, but he is not one to lose his temper that easily. Niall on the other hand is known to be a little too passionate at times.
“Alright. Please know that I’m just trying to be a good friend. What happened is tragic and I can’t even imagine what you went through, though I was here all along so I have a slight guess. I’m happy that you are doing vehemently better now, it’s amazing, but I know that you’ll be miserable if you stay single forever.”
“I’m not gonna start dating, Niall. It’s just… too soon. I can’t get into a relationship now.” Harry shakes his head, gulping from his drink again, the alcohol burns down his throat as he grimaces shortly.
“I get it that you don’t want a relationship, but dating might not be that bad. I’m pretty sure there are some hot single moms you know who would love to go out with you for dinner or some shit.”
“I’m not interested in any of them,” he shrugs.
“Then what about Y/N?” Harry’s eyes snap up at his friend, flexing his jaw out of instinct.
“What about her?”
“She is pretty, nice and funny, completely your type. Why don’t you try it with her?”
“She works for me,” Harry replies right away.
“No one fucking cares,” Niall scoffs. “And because you didn’t say that you don’t like her, I assume you are into her.”
Harry lets out a heavy sighs shaking his head. You’ve not been the only one who’s been noticing the other. Ever since he has caught you watching him while doing his morning yoga, he couldn’t shake the thought of you and he took a special notice about a lot of things about you. Like the way you scrunch your nose every time you smile when Izzy says a word wrong, or the way you like to put up your hair into a ponytail when you’re playing with her in the backyard and there’s always a tiny strand that hangs lose at the back of your neck because it’s too short to reach up to the ponytail, but his favorite thing is how your voice is a little hoarse in the morning when you come down for the first time from upstairs. The thought that he is always the first person you talk to in the morning just brings this pleasant feeling into the pit of his stomach, something he hasn’t felt in a long time.
He can’t deny that he finds you beautiful either, how could he not? You’re just a wonderful person inside and out and he is thankful his daughter is in such good hands when he is away at work. But he hasn’t dared to think further than this, his mind just doesn’t let him, however Niall’s words are now poking at the sleeping giant.
“Stop assuming things,” Harry mumbles, looking away from his friend, feeling like he is being grilled.
“Stop denying things,” Niall retorts, earning a huff from Harry. “Okay, don’t ask her out just yet, but try to get closer to her. Become friends, try to open up and get to know her a little more!”
“I don’t want to get closer to her!” he replies, but he can easily point out how big of a lie that is, even though he is trying his best to make himself believe that it’s not.
“So you don’t have a crush on her?” Niall raises his eyebrows at him.
“Where are we, in middle school? I’m 31, I don’t have crushes,” Harry scoffs.
“Okay so then you don’t mind it if I ask her out?”
“You are not asking her out, Niall,” he sternly replies, reaching for his drink once again, that’s nearing its end very closely. He needs to order another one if Niall decides to be an asshole all night.
“Why not? He seemed to like me when we met, I think we both would have a nice evening, might even take her home—“
“Shut up, Niall. You are not going out with her!”
“Really? What’s stopping me?” he smirks, knowing well what he is doing and where this is heading. Harry opens his mouth, but then no words come out, because he realizes what he wanted to say should not be said out loud.
Because I like her, a tiny voice tells him in his mind. Niall’s smirk grows even bigger, because even though Harry didn’t answer, his face tells it all, confirming what he has been trying to force out of him all evening.
“Yeah, just as I thought,” he laughs, taking a few gulps from his beer. “I’m not telling you to fuck her brains out immediately, but it might be nice if you just got to know her a bit more. And if things seem to take, like… a turn, if you know what I mean, don’t chicken out, just go with it.”
“You know, Niall, you should worry about your own love life the way you worry about mine.”
“There’s nothing to worry about!” He beams, clearly without a worry. “I’m too good of a catch to be tied down, so I’m enjoying life to the fullest right now.”
“Aren’t you tired of waking up next to a different woman every morning?” Harry sighs, feeling exhausted just to think about the way his friend lives.
“Don’t judge for something you never tried. I like it, it fulfills all my needs, why should I change?”
“Because you worry about me ending up alone when it’s most likely gonna be you.” Harry gives him a look, but it doesn’t seem to affect him. He shrugs it off easily.
“Difference is that I like being alone, but you don’t. You are wired to have a partner in the long run while I’m perfectly fine with my adventures. So do me a favor, and be less of a little hermit. You’ll thank me later.”
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Niall’s words stick to Harry’s head more than he would have liked it. The two friends stay at the bar until about midnight and while Harry leaves to go straight home, Niall heads to another direction with the pretty waitress on his arm, who served their drinks relentlessly all night.
Arriving back home Harry tips the driver generously before heading inside, seeing that you’re still up, the lights in the living room and the TV illuminating the area. Walking further inside he spots you cozied up on the couch, a thick blanket thrown over yourself as you watch some kind of detective documentary, chewing on your bottom lip in focus. He can’t help the smile that tugs on his lips at the sight of you, taking just a split second to savor the moment and wrap it up in his mind.
“Hey, why are you still up?” he questions walking inside. Your eyes tear away from the screen, blinking up at him as you smile slightly, pushing yourself up into a sitting position. Rounding the couch Harry joins you, sitting down as he runs a hand through his hair.
“Got caught up a little,” you chuckle, nodding your head towards the TV. “Did you have a good time?”
“As much as it’s possible to have a good time with Niall around,” he chuckles, making you smile.
“He is not that bad, is he?”
“He can be a little asshole sometimes,” he admits. “But it was fine, we had a nice… talk.”
“I’m glad,” you smile sheepishly, before turning back to the TV.
Harry’s eyes snap to the screen as well, but he is not following the case at all, his mind is busy thinking about everything Niall has told him.
It really has been three long and torturous years without his beloved wife and just as Niall said, the beginning of this time was almost lethal. He never thought there would be a day when he would wake up and not feel like curling up into a ball and just cry all day. Those times are now gone, because with a lot of help from his friends, family and even a therapist, he was able to find his purpose in life again: his daughter.
Harry knows that his friend is right, he can’t live his life on his own, that’s just not how he is built, but it’s not as easy as it seems. Especially with the haunting thoughts he has been harboring, kept away from everyone in his life, because he has always been too afraid to say them out loud. That would make them become even realer than they already feel to him.
Sitting on the couch next to Harry you glance at him for a second and can almost see the gears turning in his head.
“Everything alright?” you softly ask. His green eyes flicker over to you, as if he is debating whether he should talk or not.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” you nod.
“But it’s kind of personal.”
“Okay, then ask and I’ll decide if I want to answer or not,” you chuckle softly, pushing yourself up a little so you can focus on him better.
“After things ended with your… ex, when you found out that he was cheating on you… How long did it take you to get back out to the field, if you know what I mean.”
His question surprises you, it really is a personal matter and you’re not sure why he felt the need to ask you about it especially now, but you have a guess why it’s relatable for him. You lost someone you loved and though the situation is a very different nature, somehow it’s still similar in a way.
“Well, I told you earlier that it was the kind of situation where I blamed myself for what he did,” you start off and Harry nods, patiently and curiously listening to what you are saying. “I was convinced that he cheated because I wasn’t enough, because I didn’t give him everything he wanted and that it was all my fault. It took me weeks to see clearly and realize that even if I wasn’t giving him everything, it wouldn’t have given him the right to cheat on me. Sometimes it’s really hard to lift the blame off yourself, especially when you were the one putting it there.”
Harry’s lips part at your words and because he is not speaking, you’re not sure if it’s the good or bad kind. You really wish you could just read his honest thoughts, but it seems like he is keeping them to himself so you continue.
“I think it took me a good, like… four months to actually move on. I went on a date for the first time about six months after Keith and I broke up. I’m not saying I’m over the fact that I was cheated on, but it’s not stopping me anymore to live my life. I had to accept that just because of what happened, I still deserve happiness and to be loved.”
Love is a beautiful thing, but it’s very powerful and you learned it the hard way. To love and be loved is essential, love makes life so much better and more special, but it can also scar you terribly and leave you dried out and in pain. You have to learn to accept the love you get and remember it whenever you are not getting enough. It’s a rollercoaster, but the highs make the whole ride worth it.
Harry stays silent as you turn your attention back at the TV, seeing that he is busy chewing on your words. Whatever his reason was to ask you, he is clearly processing the answer he got, making his own conclusions and you wouldn’t want to bother him while he does that.
The documentary soon ends and you realize how late it really is. Saturday is your day off, but you don’t want to sleep through the whole thing, you have a few errands to run. So switching the TV off you fold the blanket and drop it into the basket next to the couch. Harry snaps out of his thoughts when you stand up from the couch, realizing that you’ve shut the TV off already.
“I’m going to bed, you should too,” you smile at him softly as he nods, standing up as well.
You’re already on the stairs when Harry calls out after you. Turning around you keep one foot on the next step, glancing over at him, still standing by the couch.
“I’m… I’m really sorry he couldn’t appreciate you.”
You smile at him warmly, because it says so much about him as a person. Apologizing for something he had absolutely no control over, something someone else did, someone he doesn’t even know. Yet he still felt the need to say sorry.
“It’s alright. I’ll find the person who’ll give me the love I deserve,” you tell him before turning back around and walking away.
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jungshookz · 3 years
Text
cream a little dream of me; knj
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➺ pairing; kim namjoon x reader
➺ genre; lveb!universe, you’ve been asking for this and i’m finally here to tell you that this is smut! nsfw! 18+! oral sex (receiving)! dirty talk! namjoon has a dirty mouth and y/n is into that!! y/n’s a great listener and namjoon is very into that!! also frosting is involved somewhere 
➺ wordcount: 8.9k
➺ summary; y/n has a wet dream about namjoon and yoongi just wants to help his best friend get laid. 
➺ what to expect; “it’s not a big deal or anything, but, uh... when were you planning on telling me about that nice little dream you had two weeks ago?”
➺ optional reading: here’s the link to la vie en bonsai if you haven’t read it yet or if you just want to experience the story all over again! 
                                      »»————- ☁️ ————-««
to say the least, yoongi is… confused.
in the three years that he’s been friends with you, he likes to think that he’s seen every single one of your emotions
but this?
this is different somehow… yet he can’t quite put his finger on what’s so different about it... 
he’s seen elated y/n
he’s seen devastated y/n
he’s seen infuriated y/n
he’s seen stressed out y/n
but this y/n?
the starry-eyed and constantly looking like you’re day dreaming y/n?
he can safely say he’s never seen this version of you before and it’s a little concerning because now he has no idea what the protocol is 
even back when you guys were in university you practically never daydreamed during lectures
you were always focused on the professor and whatever powerpoint was playing on the screen with a concerning amount of intensity 
one time, yoongi put his hand over your eyes just to be funny and you nearly snapped his wrist off
“okay, seriously?” yoongi waves his hand in front of your face for the fifth time in half an hour before shaking his head gently, “what’s gotten into you?”
you blink quickly when you snap out of your little daze, looking at him and setting the bowl of batter down on the counter before checking out the damage you’ve done
you’re supposed to fold this batter
not whIP it
now it’s ruined and you’re going to have to start all over!
“i don’t know what that batter ever did to you, but you might need to take it down a notch before you sprain your wrist…” yoongi trails off, leaning over a little and wondering if he can get away with dipping his finger in for a teeny tiny taste
sure, he might get salmonella or whatever from ingesting raw eggs, but it’ll be worth it 
“also, what are you even making?” he frowns, gesturing to all the items splayed on the counter, “because there are like ten different things going on here-”
you look around the kitchen before reaching up to scratch the back of your neck
you... don’t really have an answer for him 
there’s bread dough over here 
three bowls of frosting (chocolate, cream cheese, buttercream) over there
some chopped up peaches on the cutting board
the puff pastry is de-frosting in the fridge
there’s a pie baking in the oven at the moment
you just finished greasing up a mini cupcake tin
and don’t forget about the bowl of batter you’re currently whipping the life out of
(let the record show that you have no idea what you’re making. you have no clue what this batter is for. and why’d you take out your set of food-colouring dye??) 
you just needed to let off some steam and this is the only way you know hoW
“isn’t this great? working out in the comfort of my own personal gym…”
both you and yoongi look over towards the kitchen door when you hear jin’s voice ring through namjoon’s laptop from the living room
yoongi perks up in interest when you suddenly scurry over to spy at namjoon through the crack of the door before he gets up to follow you 
“yeah, easy for you to say-” namjoon grunts as he pushes himself up off the ground so he can clap his hands together quickly before his palms land back on the ground in a solid thump
he thought push-ups were already awful as is so he wasn’t very pleased when jin told him to start doing them with claps in between each set
also, jin has access to a full-blown gym in his house, but namjoon doesn’t have any access to actual weights so he’s had to resort to using jugs of water instead
it’s actually working out pretty well!
he took the sweeper part of the broom off and then used a lot of duct tape (and patience) to tape the jugs to both sides of the pole
he felt like he was mulan from that one part of the movie except mulan is probably physically stronger than him 
“you know, i’m surprised he hasn’t smashed his face against the floor yet...” yoongi snorts as he continues to peer at namjoon over your shoulder
he waits a couple seconds for you to respond but frowns when you let out a short little sigh while keeping your eyes glued on your sweaty boyfriend
...
see?!
you’re doing it again!!!!  
you have your bottom lip tucked in between your teeth and your eyes have gone all lidded and hazy
your grip around the edge of the door is really tight and your knuckles are going kind of white 
good god
yoongi narrows his eyes suspiciously before jabbing your shoulder roughly, “hey. what are you thinking about?”
you shake your head a little too quickly for his liking before turning back around and brushing past him to get back to the counter
huh
okay
something’s up for sure
he doesn’t know if it’s good or bad or whatever but he’s going to find out
your cheeks and the tips of your ears are a little flushed now which is even more interesting
what could possibly be going on in that little noggin of yours?
“tell me what you were thinking about.” yoongi sits back down on the stool as he stares you down across the counter, “y/n- look at me.”
“i’m not-” you glance up at yoongi for a quick second before looking back down, “nothing!” you mutter, your arm starting to move faster as you continue whipping the mystery batter 
yoongi immediately points to the ball of dough sitting a couple feet away from him, “tell me what you were thinking about or i’ll eat that ball of raw dough right noW-”
“-!” you set the bowl down before scrambling to move the dough out of yoongi’s reach
he’s eaten raw dough before (it was raw cookie dough and he took bites of it every time you turned to face away from him) which resulted in him suffering for like 48 hours and you’re not taking any chances
“you can’t keep secrets from me.” yoongi deadpans, “aren’t we best friends? don’t you trust me?” he bats his lashes at you before pushing his bottom lip out in a pout, “because i certainly trust you… and you, out of all people, should know how hard it is for me to trust someone…”
your eye twitches 
you know he’s only saying all of this to butter you up so that you’ll inevitably give in and tell him what’s going on... and you hate that it’s actually working... 
look at that face!
those cheeks!!!
those eyes!!!!
“i…” you trail off, biting the inside of your cheek as you contemplate whether it’s a good idea or not to tell yoongi what exactly’s been going on with you lately 
if you tell him, he’ll stop bugging you about it
then again, if you tell him, he might keep bugging you about it 
but he’s already suspicious of you so it seems like you don’t really have a choice...
this is really a lose-lose situation, if you think about it 
...damn. 
“hey, do you remember that time you were crying really hard and i made you feel better by telling you that i kind of sort of loved you...?” yoongi mentions casually while inspecting his nail beds, his eyes flickering up towards your face for a quick second to see your reaction 
he bites back a smirk of success when he hears you let out a sigh 
ha HA 
hook, line, and sinker bABY 
“okay, fine, but-” you slam the bowl down on the counter before placing your hands on your hips, ”it’s a secret. between us!” you gesture for him to come over to you
“god, finally-!” yoongi nods enthusiastically and hops off the stool before scurrying over to join you at the other side of the counter
you lift your hand up so the side of your mouth is covered and yoongi reaches up to wrap his fingers around your wrist, grinning excitedly as you whisper something into his ear 
yoongi’s jaw drops
holy shit
no wonder he hasn’t seen you act like this before! 
this isn’t elated y/n or disappointed y/n or excited y/n 
a new player has entered the ring
this is HORNY Y/N
“you… little… horndog!” yoongi cackles with glee as he claps his hands together wildly, “you, y/n y/l/n- you had a wet dream?!” 
you feel your anxiety spike at how loud yoongi’s being and you make a gesture to try to get him to use his inside voice but he doesn’t seem to be paying any attention to you at all right now 
“wow...” yoongi laughs lightly, crossing his arms as he looks up towards the ceiling, “i mean, welcome to puberty, i guess. a bit of a late start if you ask me, but either way i’m actually pretty proud of you for basically creaming your-”
“shh!” you quickly shove a spoon into yoongi’s mouth and he spits it out immediately
it falls onto the counter with a clang
to be honest, you actually don’t remember too much of the dream
flashes of namjoon’s head in between your legs and his strong arms wrapped around your thighs pinning you down pop into your mind every now and again to taunt you
but other than that
nothing!
it’s just that joon’s been working out a lot lately (jin’s trying to get in better shape because of one photo where the shadow made it look like he had a double chin and it traumatised him) so it makes sense that he’s turning into an actual beefcake now 
the other day you accidentally busted a bag of icing in your hands after squeezing it too hard because you were watching namjoon doing bicep curls with the milk jugs 
his arms just….,,. 
you want to bite into them
or dig your nails into them
or just look at them!
you would be perfectly content with just staring at them 24/7!
now, the issue here is that you...
you don’t really know…
you don’t know how to initiate things with namjoon
it’s awkward!
…on your end, that is
since getting together, you and namjoon have had plenty of heated make-out (and slight groping) sessions but you always end up chickening out as soon as you feel things starting to escalate 
you just get nervous that you’re going to do something wrong and it’ll pop the love-bubble you guys are in right now!! 
and you really don’t want to pop anything!! 
and namjoon, being the sweet, kind, caring, considerate, wonderful, absolutely flawless boy he is, never has an issue with it because his number one priority is making sure that you’re comfortable
he’s totally okay with moving at your pace! 
but after the last couple of times where you’ve left him high and dry, you notice that he either a) puts a pillow over his lap almost immediately and tries to change the subject or b) waddles off to the bathroom for a ‘pee break’
you feel awful knowing that you’re blue-balling him but you don’t want to take things further if there’s even a slight possibility of you ruining things 
so... yeah! 
your only stress reliever has been baking which isn’t new
you’ve stress baked before but this is a nEW type of stress baking
this is the most chaotic level of stress baking there is because everything’s just a disorganised MESS  
“you know what, it actually makes sense now,” yoongi reaches up to stroke his chin in thought before nodding to himself, “you’ve been acting so weird lately that i thought i did something wrong- and it turns out you’ve just been excruciatingly horny this entire time-”
“lower your voice!” you hiss, hurrying over to the door to make sure namjoon’s not listening in to what should be a private conversation if yoongi wasn’t so damn loud 
he may be in the living room but who knows how far your voices can travel??
you peek out to look at poor namjoon who looks like he’s just about ready to pass ouT from exhaustion
he lets out an almost animalistic growl as he pushes himself up off the ground one last time and you feel a tingle in your southern region
if you were a cartoon character there would be gigantic hearts pumping out of your eyes, your tongue would roll out of your mouth like a red carpet, and a horn would be blasting aooga in the background 
“okay, well - you can’t not tell me about what happened in it.” you turn back around to face yoongi, “give me all the details!!!!” he wiggles his brows as he leans down and folds him arms atop the counter, “and get real nasty with it because i haven’t had sex in months-” 
“no way!” you scoff before crossing one arm over the other to make an ‘x’ sign at yoongi, “no! i don’t remember anything.”
“you’re lying to me.” the smile on yoongi’s face drops and he scowls at you, “you totally are!”
“am not! it’s true.” you chirp, nodding satisfactorily when yoongi doesn’t respond
good 
the topic has been dropped and now you can focus your attention back on this weird, runny batter you’re still beating the life out of 
“...what about if i guess?”
you pause
oh
oh no
you don’t like that idea at all
you don’t get a chance to shake your head nO before yoongi starts listing out all your possible wet-dream scenarios
“he was finger-fucking you.”
“you were sucking him off?”
“he was eating you out!”
“69? you on top? or was it him on top? …no, it was probably you on to-”
“a classy combination of tongue and fingers? ooh, quick question- how quickly did dreamjoon find your g-spo-”
“missionary! can’t go wrong with good ol’ fashioned missio-”
“doggystyle? cowgirl! reverse cowgirl? or was he kind of, like, spooning you from behi-”
“ooh! plot twist! you gave him the strap-”
“butt-stuff! butt-stuff?? butt-stuff but the plug had a tail on- oh-ho, it was butt-stuff, wasn’t it-”
“something with a belt? something with cuffs? something with leather?”
“roleplaying! he was a sexy gardener with a big ol’ hose and you were just an innocent wittle twree-”
“was he rawdogging you?”
your eyes immediately widen and you look up at yoongi for the first time since he started rambling, “wha- WHAT is that?!”
rawdogging??
that sounds like it’d give you carpet burn for some reason 
“sex without a condom.” yoongi states as if it’s the most obvious fact in the entire world, “duh.”
god
boys are so
boyish!!!!
“why not just say that instead??” you ask incredulously, tilting your head
yoongi snorts, “well, because rawdogging sounds way hotter-”
your face screws up immediately, “does it really, though…?”
yoongi pauses before his face lights up, “aha! so dreamjoon WAS rawdogging y-”
“crude!” your entire face is bright red at this point and you hurry over to the fridge to grab a bag of frozen blueberries out of the freezer (for what purposes? you have no idea.)
“you think i’m being crude?” yoongi scoffs, “i think you’re being a prude. okay, lemme see what else i can think of-”
“yoongi, literally no one asked you to list-” 
“were you grinding on his-” yoongi pauses again, “you know, like dry humping?” he hums before pushing himself up off the counter and placing both his palms flat on the surface of it, “i mean, i guess i can see why that’d be hot, you know, with clothes being restrictive and all- oh! were you getting off on his thigh? because a couple of girls have done that to me before and it was actually pretty hot AND since namjoon’s dna consists of 80% plant he basically has tree trunk thighs-”
“okay, i don’t remember too much-” you grab yoongi by the arm to yank him back in so you can whisper in his ear again
yoongi listens attentively 
you clear your throat before shoving yoongi away to make it seem less suspicious if namjoon just so happens to come into the kitchen at this very moment 
“surprisingly simple, but it does the trick, that’s for sure…” yoongi hums as he strokes his chin thoughtfully, “damn. i hyped it up way too much. that’s actually a pretty boring dream compared to what i’ve dreamt about, now that i think about it-”
you can’t help but roll your eyes as you open up the bag of blueberries
…what did you pull these out for again?
“well, what’s the problem?” yoongi frowns, “you guys are already dating. just go up to him and ask him if he wants to do stuff. if a girl told me that she creamed her panties because of me, i’d be ecstatic!”
“stop saying it like that-”
you feel a little weird talking about this with yoongi
he’s always been comfortable telling you about his sex life but you prefer to keep your intimate details private
it’s not that you don’t trust him or anything, because obviously you do, but… you’d feel more comfortable if you talked about this with a girl-friend, you know?
guys just don’t understand! 
“i don’t know how to…” you shift in your spot, “ask.”
yoongi scoffs in response and crosses his arms, “y/n- namjoon is a man. men are simple. do you remember the other week when you invited me over for a breakfast and you dropped the spatula on the floor?”
you nod before tilting your head curiously, “…why?”
yoongi clears his throat
now he’S the one who looks slightly uncomfortable
“well...” he clears his throat, “namjoon was wearing sweats and i swear i wasn’t purposely looking- my eyes just happened to be looking downwards in that general direction naturally-”
“yoongi-”
“the man’s dick twitched in his sweats when you bent over, alright?” yoongi blurts out and your eyes immediately widen, “my point is: men are simple- painfully simple creatures. so... just ask him!”
you frown
just ask him??
was he even listening to you??
you just told yoongi you didn’t know how to ask namjoon and his advice was for you to ask namjoon
that’s like taking someone who doesn’t know how to swim and immediately tossing them into the OCEAN with a punctured life-ring
“god,” you roll your eyes before flicking your wrist at him, “just forget i told you!”
“hey!” yoongi gawks and shakes his head, “i can’t forget! now my only purpose in life is to get you some head-”
“jesus christ-!”
you jump ten feet into the air like a cat that’s just been sprayed by water when the kitchen door suddenly swings open and a sweaty namjoon stumbles in
“i think there’s sweat dripping into my contacts-”
“namjoon!” yoongi spins around in his stool and props his elbows up on the counter, “what a coincidence! we were just talking about you, my man…”
yoongi looks over at you with a cheeky grin and you shake your head stiffly before turning to get the jug of water from the fridge for namjoon 
“oh yeah?” namjoon huffs as he places his hands on your hips from behind, sliding past you to grab a clean glass from the dish rack, “what about?”
“just about how…” yoongi looks back at you quickly and you shoot him a glare
he wouldn’t… 
would he??
(he absolutely would.)
any word of your conversation and you’ll skin him alive
“-hard you’ve been working out lately!” yoongi chirps, “i mean, it looks like you were trapped in a washing machine-”
“oh, god. trust me, it’s so not worth it, i’m in so much pain-” namjoon winces and shakes his head, “you’re welcome to go and take my place if you want-”
“absolutely not-” yoongi snorts, “first of all, it’s the holidays, and everyone knows you don’t work out during december. also, you couldn’t pay me a million dollars to do a push-up. i’m perfectly happy with my somewhat doughy centre.” he pats his tummy with a happy hum and you can’t help but giggle
silly boy
namjoon laughs lightly before pausing to chug down some water, “i wish i could say the same. unfortunately, jin’s not giving me a choice-”
“sweaty!” you whine when namjoon suddenly wraps an arm around you from behind before kissing your cheek and he frowns playfully when you swat at his forearm, “and sticky…”  
“relax, i’m about to hit the shower-” he nudges his nose against your cheek before pulling away, “and then i won’t be sticky and i’ll smell like peaches-”
“i should probably go, too.” yoongi gets up from his seat, “i just ordered my dinner and it’s going to arrive at my apartment in like half an hour.”
“wait!” you hold a finger out before turning to open up the cupboards for a tupperware box, “take some pie with you…”
                                     »»————- ☁️ ————-««
“still coming friday?” you ask as you watch yoongi put his shoes on
you asked yoongi if he would be interested in helping you decorate the apartment on friday (aka you told him he didn’t have a choice and that he had to come and help you whether he wanted to or not)
“mhm.” he glances up at you, “still ordering pizza?”
“mhm.”
you reach down to pat the top of yoongi’s head gently just because you want to and pauses in the middle of tying his laces to reach over and jab your stomach
“i know the main focus is decorating the place for christmas but i think you guys are going to love the nature documentary i picked for us to watch while-” namjoon chimes in but shuts up quickly when you and yoongi exchange knowing glances, “what?”
yoongi looks back up at you with a raised brow, “…does he really have to join us?”
“no choice.” you shrug casually and namjoon’s jaw drops
wha-
“oh, hold on-” yoongi gets up off the ground before patting his pockets down with a frown, “i think i left my keys in the kitchen… can you go and get them for me?”
you nod before turning to hurry to the kitchen
you don’t want him to get another parking ticket
it’s only after you disappear into the kitchen that yoongi swiftly pulls his keys out of his back pocket with a jingle
namjoon opens his mouth to say something but yoongi quickly holds his hand out to shut him up
“야 남준아- 어제 니 여친이 니 꿈 꿨데~ (y/n had a sex dream about you).” he chirps and gives namjoon two firm pats on his surprisingly firm chest before his eyes widen in surprise, “어우 딴딴해 운동 열심히 했나보네! (woah, you really have been working out! good man.)”
“yeah, i-” namjoon chokes, “wait, wha-”
“y/n, i found my keys! my bad!” yoongi calls out and gives you a thumbs up when you come out of the kitchen, “see you losers on friday!”
he gives namjoon a grin and a light punch to the arm before swiftly turning on his heel
namjoon’s eyes are as wide as saucers as yoongi shuts the front door behind him and he blinks rapidly before turning to look at you
you tilt your head at him curiously and namjoon swallows before offering you a sheepish smile
oh, boy.
                                     »»————- ☁️ ————-««
namjoon hasn’t been able to think straight since it was revealed to him that you had a sex dream about him.
it’s been an entire week that he’s learned this new piece of information and it’s been weighing verY heavily on his mind!!
when he wakes up his first thought is gee i wonder what y/n dreamt about
when seokjin’s rambling about god knows what the only thing in his mind is gee i wonder what y/n dreamt about
the last thing he thinks about before he goes to bed is gee i wonder what y/n dreamt about
and then his imagination conjures up what could’ve happened in your sex dream which is very dangerous because he has an overly-active imagination 
it sucks that he doesn’t even know the details of the dream because stinky yoongi ziPPed off before he got a chance to squeeze the truth out of him!!!
and he hasn’t mustered up the courage to ask you about it because… how is he even supposed to ask you about it in a casual, non-confrontational way?!
he doesn’t want to embarrass you or anything like that!!
the only reason why he’s only slightly nervous about the whole situation because he doesn’t think he… oozes sex appeal?
so it was more than surprising to find out that you had a naughty dream about him
he’s like 90% leg and 10% dimple for crying out loud
and it’s not like he hasn’t done anything before, because he has, but it’s just different because it’s… you.
you’re his girlfriend and if he flubs this up the first time around then it’d be even more embarrassing than if you were just some random girl!
“말해줘여어 (you have to tell me).” namjoon whips around from where he’s standing by the tree, cradling the box of baubles to his chest, “you have to!”
“싫어 (nah).” yoongi shakes his head, tossing a kernel of popcorn into his mouth only for it to bounce off his cheek and onto the couch
he purses his lips before kicking it under the coffee table
it’s fine
the dust bunnies will get rid of it 
“말해줘여어! (you have to tell me!)”
“야 안돼 (no way).”  
namjoon clenches his jaw and sets the box down onto the floor promptly before balling his hands into fists and setting them on his hips, puffing his chest out
...
“아 왜여어어어~ (why not??)” he whines, deflating and resisting the urge to stamp his foot and throw an actual tantrum
“아니 비밀이라고 했으니까 그렇지! (it’s not my thing to tell! and i can’t betray y/n like that-)” yoongi shrugs as he keeps his eyes glued on the screen, “by the way, you didn’t even choose a cool nature documentary. what are we even watching?? the guy’s been talking about seaweed for the past ten minutes-”
“what do you mean it’s not your thing to tell??” namjoon scoffs, not even paying attention to the fact that yoongi just insulted his favourite nature documentary about plants in the ocean, “형이 먼저 말 꺼냈잖아! (you were the one who told me that she dreamt about me in the first place-!)” he snaps
“잠깐만 (wait, wait-)” yoongi sits up quickly, a couple kernels of popcorn rolling off his chest and falling onto his lap, “일주일이 지났는데 아무것도 안 했단 말이야?? (are you telling me that you… it’s been a whole week and you haven’t done anything about it??)”
namjoon shrinks down before reaching up to scratch the back of his neck, “노 코멘트 (…no comment.)”
“킄 정말로? (really? wow.)” yoongi snorts before shaking his head and leaning back against the couch, “both of you- i mean, both of you deserve each other, seriously-”
namjoon resists the urge to flop down on the couch dramatically, “아니 뭐라고 말하는 거예요 (well, i’m sorry, what am i even supposed to say-)”
“아우 그러지좀마 걍- (you don’t have to say anything, all you have to do is-)”
“yoongi!” namjoon and yoongi look over when you stick your head out around the kitchen door, “cream cheese or vanilla?”
“vanilla, duh.” yoongi raises a brow
you should know by this point that he prefers vanilla frosting over cream cheese!
halfway through the documentary you decided that you were going to make a carrot cake
(and yes, part of the reason why you made that decision was because you were bored of the documentary and wanted to do literally anything else, but you’ll never admit that to namjoon in case it breaks his heart)
namjoon stays quiet until after you disappear into the kitchen again and then he turns to face yoongi with both of his hands clasped together, “말해줘요오! (you have to tell me, c’mon!)”
“말해주면 제발 다른 거 보면 안 될까? (if i tell you, can we watch something else?)”
namjoon scowls
“아 됐어요 도와줄 거라도 있는지 확인 해볼게요- (fine, forget it. i’m gonna go see if y/n needs any help.)” he steps over the boxes of decorations on the ground before turning to look back at yoongi, “부엌에서 필요한 거 있어요? (you need anything?)”
“아니 (nah.)” yoongi responds before shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth, “oh! actually, see if y/n would be willing to make little carrot cupcakes instead of a whole carrot cake. holding a tiny little cupcake in my hand makes me feel like a giant.”
                                     »»————- ☁️ ————-««
“knock, knock…” namjoon knocks on the kitchen door quietly before pushing it open, “everything going okay in here?”  
he smiles when you look up from the bowl and beam at him, “hi!”
“hi-” he comes in and shuts the door behind him, “you need any help?”
“help? from you?” you giggle lightly and shake your head, “i’m good.”
ever since he accidentally poured salt into your batter that one time he hasn’t been allowed to help you
:-//
“yoongi changed his mind, by the way.” namjoon gestures back to the direction of the living room, “king min would like cupcakes now.” 
your shoulders immediately droop and you gesture to the already greased cake-pans sitting on the side
what a waste! 
“hey, don’t shoot the messenger!” namjoon raises both his hands in defence before shrugging, “the man wants what he wants.”
you resist the urge to go out there just to throw the cake pans at yoongi
you’re definitely going to force him to wash everything for you later 
“also... you’re just doing this to get out of watching the nature doc, aren’t you?” namjoon wraps both his arms around you from behind and leans down to prop his chin up on your shoulder
you could’ve helped with the decorating, but somehow everything looks better when namjoon does it 
he hung a big red bow on your front door and it looks great! 
you pause in the middle of shredding carrots before letting out a nervous chuckle, “whaaat? no...”
“it’s about the types of plants in the ocean!” namjoon points out, “is that not cool?? plants are cool.”
you shake your head no almost immediately 
not cool
two and a half hours of someone talking about grass that lives in salty water?
not cool at aLL
“how’s the decorating going?” you ask, giggling lightly when namjoon nudges his nose under your jaw before planting a kiss against your neck
“it’s going fine… yoongi isn’t helping, obviously. i handed him one bauble to hang and he hooked it on the collar of his hoodie and told me he’d do it later.”
“mm.”
a brief moment passes where the only sound that can be heard is the carrot you’re shredding against the grater
namjoon purses his lips as he thinks about what yoongi just said to him 
...
ah
fuck it
“hey, can i ask you something?” namjoon sighs, smiling in delight when you suddenly turn your head to press a sweet little kiss into his cheek
“mhm!” you turn back, continuing to grate away
“it’s not a big deal or anything, but, uh... when were you planning on telling me about that nice little dream you had two weeks ago?” namjoon asks cockily, biting back a grin when he feels you freeze in his arms 
it’s at this moment that the fact that you had a wet dream about him has finally sunk into the depths of his brain and now he’s actually feeling... really good about it 
you had a sex dream about him
what’s not to love?  
he can almost hear the alarms wailing in your head
and now that he’s got the ball rolling- he’s not as nervous as he thought he’d be!
as a matter of fact... this could be fun.
“w-” you clear your throat quietly and the half-shredded carrot drops into the metal bowl with a muted plunk, “i- what dream? i didn’t have a dream about you.”
he knows you’re trying to play it cool but he can see how tightly you’re gripping the grater and he can feel your ears getting hotter against his cheek 
“i never said the dream was about me.”
oh, shit
you messed up
“so...?” namjoon moves your hair to the other side before leaning in to plant a warm kiss under your jaw, “this dream that you had… about me. tell me what happened in it.”
you swallow thickly, the gears working overtime in your brain as you try to come up with some kind of an excuse to get yourself out of this situation
you know that now isn’t the most appropriate moment to be thinking about this but you’re 100% going to slaughter yoongi the moment you get a chance to 
the secret ingredient to make these cupcakes taste good will not be love
it will be BLEACH 
you can’t believe he ratted you out like that!!
how embarrassing!!
“you were-” you cough, “um, you were… you… we…”
oh boy
this is already a train wreck
this is exactly why you didn’t want to tell namjoon about it!
because you know yourself and you knEW you were going to get all flustered and twitchy bringing it up
“well, i was-” you pause, “i was sitting on- sitting on the counter-”
“this one right here?” namjoon’s hand leaves your waist to pat the surface of the counter lightly and you nod gingerly, staring down at his obscenely pretty fingers, “what else?”
“that was it.” you blurt out, “the end!”
namjoon steps back a little and spins you around quickly before pressing you up against the counter, “what else, y/n?”
he traps you in between his arms and you fight the urge to explode into a million bits 
oh god
okay
just tell him!
just SAY it
it’s time to get it over with!!
“you were…” your eyes flicker downwards and your nose scrunches slightly
you really don’t want to say it but you don’t think you can back out at this point because you’ve already said too much 
“…eating me out.” you force out before averting your gaze and looking off to the side  
you really wish there was a better way to say that because the phrase eating me out just sounds so… in your face, you know?
namjoon swallows thickly
so you had a dream about him eating you out?
“y/n, there’s really nothing to be embarrassed about, i promise-” namjoon laughs lightly when he notices your entire face starting to go red
you let out a particularly pathetic whine before leaning your forehead against his chest and gently shoving at his (firm) abdomen
“what’s the problem?” he asks, rubbing comforting circles into your back, “i think about you, you know.”
“you’re just saying that…” you mumble, reaching up to pinch the bridge of your nose, “you’re lying...” 
“no, i’m serious!” namjoon pulls away to look at you, “i… i think about you. i think about things.”
you blink twice 
he thinks about you
he thinks about things 
he thinks about you?
he thinks about things?? 
…what kind of things does he think about?
“y-you do?” 
“of course i do.”
“oh.”
a moment of silence ticks by 
“i think about a lot of things, y/n.”
“like what?” you look up at him, the corner of namjoon’s pretty mouth curling upwards
“you really wanna know?”
“yes.” you respond a little too quickly before clearing your throat quietly, “…please.”
“hm.” he smiles, “as polite as always-” 
you gasp in surprise when namjoon suddenly lifts you up and plops you down on the countertop in one swift movement and your stomach flutters at how effortlessly he just did that
wowie
he places both hands flat on the surface on either side of you before looking up at you with his head tilted slightly
you keep your hands folded in your lap, nervously picking at the worn edges of the sweatshirt you’re wearing (it’s namjoon’s coffee-coloured sweatshirt that you ‘borrowed’ from him) 
“mostly about fucking you into the headboard.” namjoon confesses, a smirk twitching at the corner of his mouth when he notices the way your eyes flicker
oh
you definitely seemed to like that idea
“i think about your fingers pulling at my hair when i have my face in between your legs...” he hums, trailing a finger up from your kneecap to your thigh, “i think about how pretty you’d look bent over the counter for me. i think about the sounds you’d make, how soft your moans and gasps would be… i especially like thinking about you moaning my name. i think about you riding me wearing nothing but that cute little apron of yours - you know, the one with the little honeybees on them?”
“apron’s in the.. in the washing machine.” your breathing’s become a bit more shallow and you haven’t blinked in nearly a minute so it’s safe to say that he has your attention
“you know… i think you know what you do to me when you walk around wearing nothing but one of my sweatshirts and a pair of panties, or when you come out of the shower wrapped in a little towel because you ‘forgot’ your clothes in the bedroom…” namjoon murmurs lowly, “and don’t think i don’t notice the way you look at me whenever you suck frosting off your fingers.”
“frosting?” you whisper, namjoon nodding as his eyes flicker down to your lips briefly
your tongue pokes out to swipe over your bottom lip for a split second 
“that’s right.” the metal bowl scrapes against the counter as namjoon drags it over and you jump in surprise at the feeling of the chilled metal bumping up against your bare thigh
“you think you’re so innocent, don’t you?” namjoon chuckles lowly, lifting the spatula up before swiping some frosting off of it with the side of his thumb, “you think i don’t know what you’re up to?”
“i don’t…” you trail off, going cross-eyed when namjoon’s hand comes closer only for his pointer finger to tap at your bottom lip
“you do. open.”
you’re just a little thrown off because namjoon’s never... you’ve never seen him like this before
he’s never spoken to you like this before
he’s never looked at you like this before 
you’re certainly not complaining, of course 
“you taunt me because you like to-” you can’t seem to break away from namjoon’s gaze, the side of his pointer finger hooking underneath your chin as he pushes his thumb into your mouth, “i know you do it on purpose.”
almost immediately, the taste of sweet vanilla frosting washes over your palette
“you want me to think about you, don’t you?” namjoon swallows a groan when you start sucking, your cheeks hollowing slightly as your tongue swirls around his thumb to make sure no frosting gets left behind, “you like the thought of that? like leaving me high and dry because it forces me to use my own imagination?”
(admittedly, yes. a little part of you likes the thought of you completely consuming every corner of namjoon’s mind... just a little part, though.)
you nod slowly in response with glazed over eyes and namjoon clenches his jaw 
fuck
he flattens his thumb down on your tongue to get you to open your mouth a little more for him and hums contently when you do so obediently
a thin line of spit stretches from your tongue to namjoon’s slick thumb as he pulls his hand away and you don’t even get a chance to register whatever that moment was before he’s leaning forward to slant his mouth over yours
namjoon kisses you purposefully, pulling you closer to him as you fist at his shirt tightly 
he savours the faint sweetness of the frosting left behind on your tongue and can’t help but smile when he hears you whimper
“can i tell you something?” namjoon pulls away only to start sponging kisses to your neck and you tilt your head to the side for him
“uh-huh, y-yeah-” you nod quickly, slinging an arm around his neck to keep him close while the other hand grips at his shoulder
your eyes roll to the back of your head for a split second and you can’t help but quietly mouth an ‘oh my god’ to yourself because you never knew it could feel this good to have your neck kissed
“i think it’s hot as fuck that you had a wet dream about me,” namjoon groans lowly and you immediately feel a zing! of electricity travel straight down south from the sound of him speaking to you in such a deep, gravelly voice, “and you definitely don’t have to be shy about asking me to touch you… because i’m very willing to do so.”
“i want you to- w-want you to touch me-” you stutter, feeling your cheeks warm from hearing those words come out of your mouth, “want it so bad-”
your eyes pop open when namjoon suddenly pulls away and you frown, instantly missing the feeling of him being pressed up so tightly against you
“lift your hips-” namjoon pushes the bowl of frosting to the side before tapping two fingers on your upper thigh, “-up off the counter.”
?
your brows knit together in confusion
why would you-
your eyes widen in realisation when it dawns on you what exactly is happening here
“w-what-” you glance at the (for the most part, closed) kitchen door frantically before looking down at joon, “but yoongi’s in the-” you turn back and jump in surprise when you see that namjoon’s face is right in front of yours
you’re practically nose to nose with him
“i know.” namjoon leans in to give you a quick peck before pulling away with a particularly smug grin, “so you’re just going to have to stay quiet for me then, aren’t you?”
you WHAT
“why don’t we get these off, hm?” namjoon hooks a finger into the waistband of your shorts and gives it a gentle tug
you look at the door once again and then back at namjoon, who offers you an innocent little smile as if he didn’t just suggest going down on you on the kitchen counter with your friend in the room next door
okay
think about this!
think about this with your logical brain and not your bonk horny brain
would you rather see your very hot boyfriend’s face in between your legs or would you rather send him away so you can continue making a cake for your very picky friend?
you plant both palms on the counter before raising your hips a little, namjoon grinning in victory before yanking your shorts down in one go
if you would’ve known this was going to happen today you definitely would’ve worn a sexier pair of panties
white cotton is boring!!!
also you know this is the wrong time to be thinking this but you’re wondering if it would be possible to rope yoongi into a shopping spree at victoria’s secret next week because you’re going to need better looking panties if namjoon’s going to keep springing these spontaneous sessions on you
“cute.” namjoon hums, poking at the little blue bow that sits at the centre of the waistband
your breathing stills as he slowly lowers himself to his knees in front of you and you feel like your heart is about to beat out of your chest at the sight alone 
“soaked right through…” namjoon observes quietly, turning his head to press a kiss to the pillowy flesh of your inner thigh, “i’ve barely touched you, baby.”
you jolt in surprise when he runs his thumb slowly up your slit through the thinned fabric of your panties, though he stops right as he’s about to reach your clit
so close yet so, so painfully far
you nudge him with your foot, “you’re teasing.” you swallow thickly, namjoon offering you a boyish grin as he tilts his head, pushing his bottom lip out in a mocking pout
“aw… am i?” he coos, and you shiver when he leans in to press a kiss over your clothed clit, “i’m sorry, darling… that must be so hard for you…”
“and you’re being mean.” you murmur, namjoon chuckling to himself as he pulls your panties down your legs
“am not.”
“are too.”
“am not.” namjoon perks a brow, pushing your thighs apart gently, “take it back.”
“no wa-!” your back immediately straightens as if a jolt of electricity just shot straight up your spine at the first feeling of namjoon licking one long stripe up your centre, and you fight back the urge to snap your legs shut
that’s.,., new!
very new
very new feeling
you’re certainly not against it and it’s not a bad feeling 
it’s just…
new
“good?” your breath wavers when namjoon hums against you, your eyelids fluttering shut at the feeling of his tongue slowly pressing in deep, “hm?”
namjoon slips his tongue in between your folds before sliding it flat and straight up to your swollen clit, grinning to himself when you finally give in to pleasure and lie back on the counter
you whimper, rolling your hips down towards his mouth as he drags his tongue over your slit in repetitive strokes before flicking his tongue over the top of your clit
it’s too much and not enough at the same time, your legs instinctively starting to squeeze shut around him
“nuh-uh, baby…” you find that you can barely move, namjoon’s fingers digging into your thigh as a warning as he keeps your legs open, “keep them spread for me.”
namjoon watches your reaction intensely, finding pleasure in the way that your chest rises and falls quickly and in the way you twitch every now and again
from here, he can see the way your brows furrow and the way you bite and tug at your bottom lip in a poor effort to keep yourself quiet 
“you can use your words like a good girl, can’t you?” namjoon teases, two fingers rolling tight little circles into your clit as he watches you, barely blinking, “tell me how good it feels…”
“good- ungh, feels good-” you whimper, hips bucking up against his fingers desperately
namjoon looks down to see you practically dripping onto the counter
jesus 
he would’ve done this a lot sooner had he known you’d be acting like this from his touch 
“fuck me,” namjoon groans suddenly, and all of a sudden it seems like everything’s moving ten times faster than before, “you look so fucking hot right now-”, he wraps his strong arms underneath both your thighs before yanking you closer to him, practically burying his entire face in between your legs
your right leg gets hitched up over his shoulder and you quickly sit back up, digging your fingers into the soft strands of namjoon’s hair as his tongue laves back and forth against your folds
your back arches and you tilt your head up towards the ceiling, namjoon instinctively pushing his clothed crotch against the bottom part of the counter for some kind of relief 
he’s so painfully hard from just hearing you hold back moans and watching you squirm and twitch 
you remind yourself to loosen your grip on namjoon’s hair because you’re worried that you might accidentally rip some strands out and leave him with a bald patch, but namjoon obviously doesn’t seem to mind as he doubles his efforts and starts to lick and and suck with tremendous fervour 
“fuck, you taste good-” he curses, his right hand sliding underneath your sweatshirt to cup your bare breast before he pinches and rolls your nipple in between his fingers
he drags his tongue down to circle around your tight hole and you jerk immediately, “oh my god-” you pant, overwhelmed by all the different feelings your body is experiencing at this moment, “that feels so-”
your bum is teetering on the edge of the counter at this point because namjoon’s basically pulled you off of it and you reach down to grip at the edges so you don’t fall off 
“gonna cum?” namjoon murmurs, eyes locking on your face almost immediately as he feels you starting to squirm underneath him 
he really wants to watch you cum
“j-joonie, god, don’t stop-” the arm wrapped around your waist tightens around you and your eyes roll to the back of your head as he continues his torturous onslaught of pleasure, “i-i- nngh- namjoon-!”
“i’ve got you, baby… you can cum…” namjoon feels himself twitch in his sweats upon hearing you moan his name like that 
the thought of gagging you with your own panties to mute your moans briefly flits through his mind but... he wants to hear you moaning his name over and over and over again 
he wants to make you scream for him
when it happens, you practically bite your bottom lip off trying not to cry out in ecstasy
namjoon has to hold your trembling thighs open to keep them from snapping his head right off
your hips buck lazily as you quiver around namjoon’s hot tongue, your body glistening in a sheen layer of sweat as you bask in the slow, rolling waves of ecstasy
you lie back down against the counter, chest heaving beneath your sweater as you stare dazedly up at the ceiling
oh, wow
you watch as the ceiling fan whirrs around and around and around
you feel like you’re not physically here right now 
like your soul left your body and you’re just floating in the air like a bunch of particles 
“-!” you twitch when namjoon carefully wipes you off with your panties before setting them onto the counter next to you 
you slowly prop yourself up onto your elbows so you can look at him, feeling your cheeks flush when you see that he’s looking right at you 
you’re not sure why you’ve gone all shy again as if his tongue wasn’t licking you out ten seconds ago 
“hi, pretty girl...” he smiles, his dimple popping up in his right cheek, “welcome back.” he jokes, rising to his feet while keeping your right leg propped up onto his shoulder
he turns to give your ankle a kiss before gently bringing your leg down and helping you sit up
“that was really something...” you wrap your arms loosely around his neck as he grasps your hips before leaning down to give you a sweet little kiss 
“oh yeah? did i live up to dreamjoon?” namjoon teases, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear before pinching the apple of your cheek 
“you did a much better job than dreamjoon.” you hum, and it’s only then that you’re aware of the very prominent bulge pressing into your centre, “but i... i wanna make you feel good, too…” you murmur, namjoon biting back a groan when you nudge your bare centre against him, a darkened splotch now staining the front of his sweatpants  “and…” you lean upwards to whisper something into namjoon’s ear
...
...
holy shit
yes please
“yeah, shit, we can definitely do that-” namjoon hates to admit to how horny he is but he can’t help it when you go around saying stuff like that to him, “we-” he pauses suddenly, eyes going wide in panic, “oh, shit!” 
“wh- what??” you look around the kitchen frantically before grabbing the closest thing to you as a form of defence (a silicone whisk) 
“friggin’ yoongi-!” namjoon hisses in pain as he adjusts himself in his sweatpants, “i forgot about yoongi-”
okay
a little weird of him to be thinking about yoongi while he’s touching his- 
“oh my god, yoongi!” you hiss quietly, hopping off the counter with wobbly legs 
namjoon hands you your shorts and you quickly wiggle into them before pulling your sweatshirt down  
you completely forgot that yoongi was in the room right next to you guys and that last moan of yours wasn’t exactly quiet
and you know that yoongi might not have a lot of knowledge when it comes to baking, but you’re sure that he knows enough to know that practically screaming namjoon’s name out loud isn’t a key step in achieving a fluffy cake batter 
“we weren’t doing anything!” 
the two of you stumble out into the living room and you file through your brain to come up with some kind of a logical excuse as to why you’re hot and sweaty and why namjoon’s hiding his lower half behind a kitchen towel and how in the world those two facts are related to his precious carrot cake cupcakes
you pause when you notice that yoongi’s nowhere to be found 
?
the documentary’s still playing on the TV, the boxes of tinsel and baubles have been completely abandoned, and there’s nothing but a blue sticky note sitting on the couch 
taking a nap in my car. text me when you guys are done being horny. also - you’re welcome. 
christmas with cee 2020 masterlist
🎁what would you like from ceenta this year? 🎁
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azertyrobaz · 2 years
Text
Dank Farrik Drabble #32
Well, this is longer than a drabble. And also the plot completely took over from the simple Cot/Determined @dankfarrikdrabbles prompt premise. I might be tempted to write more? I don’t know yet, but I do love those What if? scenarios. Hope you also enjoy! :)
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“When I said I wanted grandchildren from you, I didn’t exactly mean this,” said Din’s mother as she observed the green child with comically large ears swallow all the food she put in front of him – that baby was clearly starving!
“Tell us again, how did you find him exactly?”
Din sighed and ruffled his hair some more – why did his sister always have to ask so many questions? He was exhausted after that return trip, and he’d hoped being back home would mean rest. They’d had quite the journey with the kid, and he didn’t really feel like going through all of it again, but his mother was also staring at him expectantly, and it didn’t look like the boy would agree to a nap any time soon, as he was too busy eating them out of house and home.
“I had a breakdown on Arvala-7 and couldn’t make my delivery. A Ugnaught helped me with the repairs, and he told me about this target bounty hunters kept trying to secure unsuccessfully. It seemed to really disturb him so I decided to go investigate. To thank him for his help, you know.”
“Admit it, you were just curious,” said his sister knowingly. “Wait until Maddi shows up to hear this, you’re so predictable.”
Din rolled his eyes but realized that he’d have to go through all of this one more time when their younger sister returned from Aq Vetina’s academy.
“Alright, so maybe I was a bit curious,” he conceded, watching the child reach for the cheese again. “And I did find plenty of hunters, like the Ugnaught warned me.”
“Wasn’t it dangerous?” wondered his mother, her eyes widening. She always worried when he left for distant systems for his deliveries – but he’d been a freight transport pilot for years now. He’d learned how to embellish the truth for her sake. He could hold his own in a fight, but she didn’t need to know all the details.
“I got lucky,” he settled on saying, choosing not to mention the IG unit who’d self-destructed and made his job easier to get rid of the Nikto guards. It had been a close call, and that last one had almost ambushed him.
“And then what happened?” asked Finia, captivated, and she looked so much like her 6 year old self right then, asking him for another story before bed, that he grinned warmly. It didn’t matter that she had kids of her own, now – the niece and nephew that he loved more than he felt comfortable admitting out loud. The only thing that mattered was that he was taken back to that special time, when life had been easier and their father had still been alive.
“I found him,” he revealed, pointing at the kid who cooed in reply. “In that pram thing. I think he’d been pretty much on his own for a while.” At this, the boy sighed mournfully, and Din’s mom stroked his fuzzy head.
“But why were there hunters after him?” Finia queried, the puzzlement clear in her dark eyes. “He was the target the Ugnaught mentioned to you, right? He’s just a kid!”
“The medical scan in my ship told me he was 50 years old,” he shrugged. “I guess he’s special, somehow.”
His mother frowned, and Din could tell she knew he wasn’t being completely honest with her. Maybe he’d tell her about the kid’s strange powers later. But since it involved admitting being ambushed by Trandoshan hunters and almost dying from his wounds if the child hadn’t used his magical abilities to save him, he thought it could wait. That and getting trampled by a mudhorn to secure that stupid egg the Jawas had wanted in exchange for the parts he had needed to build a bio-damper for the boy. But it had been the only way to make sure the trackers would stop giving his position away. He wouldn’t have felt safe flying back to Aq Vetina otherwise.
Who knew who was after the little one? Deep down, he had an idea. A dark, terrible idea. As a courier, he’d heard rumors after all. And he’d seen with his own eyes that the Empire wasn’t exactly gone. But he didn’t want to imagine what they would want with such a powerful being.
“He really is cute, though,” sighed Finia, and the boy babbled happily at the praise. He couldn’t talk exactly, but it wasn’t that hard to figure out what he meant, most of the time.
“Sure you know what you’re doing?” she added, standing up from the kitchen table, and he shrugged. Probably not. But there was no way he would have abandoned him to his fate like that. He’d figure it out. Hopefully.
“I’ll go get little Din’s old cot at my house, it should be the right size for him,” she announced. “Some clothes, too. He’s wearing rags, the poor thing.”
Once she’d left, the boy raised his tiny arms from his makeshift highchair, and Din picked him up.
“Are you finally full?” he chuckled, since he’d probably swallowed more than his own weight in food. With a contended sigh, the baby settled in his arms and was soon asleep, trusting him to hold and protect him, which threw Din for a loop. That was certainly an unusual feeling.
“Guess he’s yours now,” remarked his mother with an amused shake of her head as she started clearing the table. “You do know you’re way in over your head, right?”
“Yes, mom, I know,” he replied with a long suffering sigh.
“Just thought I’d check,” she said, taking the pile of dirty plates to the sink.
Din looked down at the small bundle in his arms. The kid was holding one of his fingers in his sleep, completely at ease. Well, he’d made a choice. And now he had to live with it. He smiled and held the tiny boy tighter.
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