former gifted kid syndrome freaking suuuuucks
i didn't have to put forth the effort to study for freaking ever
and now college is kicking my ass because i really really have to work hard and study and yes i'm whining i'll get over it i just need to be dramatic first >_<;;;
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Fucking hate feeling like this. I feel forgotten and always have to be the one who reaches out to people. I am so fucking done.
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A Little Something from My Notes App
some people do not care to listen to your words, they only want to talk. they only want to cut you off and be the one listened to. some people do not care to read your long paragraphs, they only care about what they want to convey in texts or emails.
it hurts when they don't listen when they don't read. they skip through your existence only to acknowledge their existence. they do not care about whatever questions or wisdom you have. all they care about is THEY must be heard, THEY must be the centre of attention. you are just a puny little creature living in their world.
it's exhausting.
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There is not enough coffee in the world for me to escape this vacuum of fatigue.
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The depression is extra fucking spicy tonight. I won’t “log out early”. I want to live. Just not like this. Not in my current circumstances. I’m miserable, and attempts to make it better fall flat so quickly. I’ll be okay. I have to be. I don’t know how I’ll do it. Ugh.
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Tired. Tired of picking myself back up. Tired of having nowhere to go. Tired of fighting. Tired. Tired tired tired.
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