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dottielovegood · 11 months

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A Midsummer Night's Dream

Since yesterday was Summer Solstice and Midsummer is tomorrow, I thought that it would be fitting to write a little fic about human Elain during her first summer solstice/midsummer without Feyre.

It is said that if you pick seven different flowers and put them under your pillow on midsummer, you will dream of the man you are going to marry. Who is the man visiting Elain’s dreams?

Set during ACOTAR

Pairing: Elriel Words: 2581 Content warnings: none

Elain was standing in her garden, eyes closed and face turned toward the sky. Summer had finally reached their little village and she had almost forgotten how good the sun felt on her skin. Just like she had forgotten what it felt like not to worry about money and food.

It had been months since she had seen her younger sister, Feyre. She had left so suddenly to go and take care of their old aunt Ripleigh who had fallen ill. In all honesty, Elain could barely even remember an aunt Ripleigh, and she could barely remember the night when Feyre left. Thinking back on it only made her head hurt and the memory was blurry - as if there was something wrong with it. It was like remembering a dream just after waking up and then forgetting it the very next second. It was there, yet it wasn’t. Elain couldn’t explain it, nor could she talk about it with Nesta. She would surely think her mad if she uttered a word about it, so she kept her mouth shut. It’s not like they didn’t have enough on their plate.

A few weeks after Feyre’s departure, another peculiar thing happened. Somehow, their father, who had been nothing but a broken shell of the man he once was, had been able to get enough money to pay their debts, and then some. Elain didn’t think about this too much, either, because every time she did, she realized how incredulous it was. Things didn’t add up, and she was wary of things being too good, too fast. Shortly thereafter, they moved into a chateau of white marble with emerald roofs. She wrote to Feyre about their new house, about the servants they now employed, about the garden she wanted to grow, yet she received no reply. Her father’s spirit had lifted and Elain did everything in her power to seem happy even though there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that something was wrong. She didn’t want to be a bother, so she put on a brave face. Sometimes, she envied Nesta. Nesta, who had turned inwards even more since Feyre left them. Nesta, who ground her teeth every time Elain talked about balls and suitors. Maybe she found Elain trite for caring about such things, but she didn’t understand that Elain had to care. She had to keep up appearances. Yes, they had gotten their old lives back in a way, but Elain knew how fragile it all was. She still remembered how it all had been taken away once, which meant that it could happen again. Elain vowed to herself that she would never let that happen. So she put on a smile and did whatever she could in order to secure a good future for herself and her family. She went to the balls, she accepted suitors into their home during the socialite season, she listened to the gossips that gathered in the town square every day just to find out who the most eligible bachelor was. And then she made up a plan on how to get him to ask for her hand.

She pretended as if it didn’t bother her that the people who had turned their backs on their family for years now welcomed her with open arms. She pretended to actually care about the mindless conversations she was forced to endure while drinking tea with the other ladies in town. She needed everyone to like her. Her mother had once said that she would marry for beauty and love, but Elain wasn’t sure that was true anymore. Now, she thought that she might marry for security. If something were to happen to their father, she needed to be able to take care of her sisters. She was not going to let Feyre do it all by herself again. When Feyre returned, she was going to make sure that she knew that Elain wasn’t taking her for granted anymore. And with Nesta refusing to meet any suitors, Elain knew that she was their only hope. As a woman, there was only one way to secure a good future - by finding a good husband, and Elain was going to do just that. Just a few days ago, she had received a letter from the son of Lord Nolan, asking her to join him for tea in a week's time. Elain had almost started jumping with glee when she read the note. This was what she had been striving for. Graysen Nolan was one of the wealthiest bachelors in the village and he would surely make a good match. If she could charm him, she would never have to worry about going hungry again, nor would her sisters. They would be taken care of. So she accepted his offer and prayed to the gods that he would find her charming. From the way he had looked at her during the latest ball she attended, she knew that he already found her attractive. Knew that there was something that drew him to her. Now she just needed him to see beyond her exterior. Beauty was a short-lived currency, this she knew, so she needed to show him that she would be a good wife, mother and homemaker if he was going to choose her.

It might not sound like much work, but Elain was exhausted. Always keeping up appearances and pretending as if the last few years never happened was tiresome, and she needed a rest. From her garden, she could hear music and laughter from where the townsfolk had gathered in the square. It was midsummer eve, the longest day of the year, and they were all celebrating the arrival of summer. Elain could almost imagine them all dancing around the maypole, singing silly songs and drinking a bit too much wine. The children would make flower crowns and eat too many sweets, just like every other year. It was a lovely tradition, but she couldn’t muster up the energy to attend. She had already gotten what she needed - the invite from Graysen Nolan. She could afford to not be social, if only for a day.

Elain dug her toes into the soft grass underneath her bare feet and took a deep breath. She had given the servants the day off so they could all attend the midsummer celebrations, and so that she could enjoy some peace and quiet. Their father was away on business which meant that she and Nesta had the house to themselves - a rare occurrence these days. Although, she might have been here all on her own since Nesta was nowhere to be seen. She often kept to her room when she was home. Elain wondered why Nesta seemed even angrier now than when they were living in the cottage. They had gotten it all back - a beautiful house, more money than they needed and a good reputation. Elain couldn’t understand why Nesta seemed to hate everything they had been given. Sure, Elain didn’t understand their sudden fortune, but she was thankful nonetheless. She knew that she should talk to her sister, but every time she brought it up, Nesta just sighed and muttered something about Elain not being able to understand. Elan wanted to understand, and she hoped that Nesta would come around eventually.

Elain let out a breath and opened her eyes, squinting from the bright sunshine. In her hand, she held a small bouquet of six flowers. She bent down to pick one last flower, a bluebell. Midsummer was said to be a magical day. There were all kinds of mystical stories and fairytales surrounding midsummer, and even though Elain hadn’t believed in those stories since she was a child, there was still one tradition that she enjoyed. It was probably silly, but it was said that if you picked seven different kinds of flowers and put them under your pillow, you would dream of the man you would someday marry. When they lived in the cottage, Elain had kept up this tradition even though Nesta laughed at her and told her that no one would want them now. They were destitute, fated to become spinsters, if they didn’t die first. Elain couldn’t let Nesta’s words into her heart. Hope was all she had back then, so she picked the flowers and prayed that she would see the man of her dreams. But every year, she awoke from a dreamless sleep. She was certain that this year wouldn’t be any different, but she was not going to lose hope. Hope is, after all, the last thing that abandons you. If you lose hope, you have nothing left to fight for. For years, she had lived on hope alone. And if this year had shown her anything, it was that dreams could come true. She thought that if she just hoped a little bit more, then maybe she would have everything she could ever dream of.

So Elain held the flowers tight in her hand and returned to her bedroom. Maybe, just maybe, fate would be on her side this year.

Later that night, she fell asleep with hope in her heart and seven flowers hidden under her pillow.

Jasmine flowers grew out of dark shadows. They shone like small beacons of light in the darkness. Like stars in the night sky. Elain could hear her own heartbeat, or maybe it wasn’t hers? Something told her that she should be afraid, yet she found comfort in the darkness. Found comfort in the shadows that wound themselves around her body like ivy. She stretched out her hand to touch one of the white flowers. The soft petals tickled her fingertips before her hand was enveloped in darkness. A moment later, the world was bathed in a dim blue light. It seemed to be pulsing, following the same rhythm as her heartbeat. In the distance, she could see the shape of a man among the shadows. She couldn’t make out much in the darkness, but she knew that the light was coming from him. She didn’t know how she knew it, but she knew she should go to him. Knew that all the answers to her questions could be found there, with him. Whoever he was, wherever he had come from. He was the answer.

She stepped closer, careful not to scare him away. Her nightgown clung to her legs and she could almost feel his eyes on her - assessing her. Silently asking her questions she didn’t know the answers to. She tried to speak, yet no words would leave her mouth. As she got closer, she could make out his dark messy hair. Could see that he was wearing black leather, an obsidian blade strapped to his thigh. He looked strong, stronger than any man she had ever seen before. Lethal, even. Dangerous. But she was not afraid. She lifted her gaze to his face and found two hazel eyes staring back at her through the darkness.

“Who are you?” Elain managed to ask, her voice steadier than she felt.

There was no answer. His eyes swept down over her body and Elain felt herself shiver. She could almost feel those eyes as if they were hands running down her body. She wanted his hands running down her body. Wanted so many things she shouldn’t want. She didn’t understand. Why was she here?

She was close to him now - not close enough to touch, but close enough to finally make out all his features. Elain searched her brain for words to describe him, yet the only word that seemed fitting was ‘beautiful’. She had never seen such a beautiful man. His skin was dark, though it seemed to glow in a magical sort of way. His eyes were warm, and maybe she only imagined it, but she thought that she could see small flecks of gold there. He seemed like something out of this world. Surely, something so beautiful couldn’t be human.

“Hello, little fawn,” he drawled, his voice smooth like velvet and shadows. He was darkness incarnate, yet the bright blue light emanating from him never seemed to dim. The shadows surrounding him seemed to be a part of him - an extension of his very being. As if he was wearing his soul outside his body.

She didn’t understand the nickname and she was just about to ask him why he called her such a thing when she saw them. The wings. What she had thought was a cluster of shadows above him was actually two taloned wings. They had no feathers, no. The smooth surface reminded Elain of the bats that lived in her garden - creatures of the night, just like him. She stopped breathing for just a moment - from fear or shock or something else entirely, she didn’t know. She only knew that she had been right - this man was not human. She wasn’t even sure he was a man. He was something otherworldly, something dangerous, something to be afraid of. She knew that she should be afraid - yet, there was no fear to be found. She searched within herself but found nothing but curiosity and awe. He had come for her, though she didn’t understand why.

“Who are you?” she asked again, her voice barely more than a whisper.

“You’ll find out when you need to know.”

Elain felt her heart race, her breathing quicken. She knew that she didn’t have much time, though she couldn’t remember why. Why was time running out? Why was he here? Where was here? Was she supposed to know?

There were so many questions on the tip of her tongue, though the only words her mouth would form were, “You came for me.”

The creature's face relaxed and he looked at her with such warmth that Elain had to suck in a breath. He looked at her as if she was something precious, something to take care of and treasure. No one had ever looked at her like that before. A small smile formed on his lips, and Elain thought that she had never seen something so beautiful in her entire life. “I will always come for you,” he said, and Elain knew that he was telling the truth. She didn’t know him, didn’t even know what he was, but she somehow knew that he could be trusted. She wanted to go to him, but her feet seemed rooted to the ground. She looked down just to see that her feet were covered in ivy, and when she looked up again, he seemed far away once more. She opened her mouth to call for him but yet again, no words came. She could feel herself panic. She didn’t want him to leave. She needed to know who he was. She needed to know his name. Needed the answer to her question, though she had forgotten what she needed to ask.

She blinked, just once, and the world became blurry, something bright breaking through the darkness. Elain reached out a hand, hoping that he would grab it and hold onto her but she was met with nothing but smoke and shadows. She blinked again, and he was gone, replaced by something too bright, too…wrong.

“Please,” she whispered as the last of his shadow disappeared only to be replaced by a blinding light. A heady scent of night-chilled mist and cedar lingered as she slowly returned to reality.

#elriel #elriel fanfic #elain archeron #elain x azriel #elriel fic

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noonajoe · 1 year

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He Protects You From Reporters (Bokuto x Reader)

"I'm always proud of her"

Characters: Bokuto Koutaro x Chubby!Reader

Word Count: 652

©noonajoe (Published on 11 March 2023 - 21:14 Bangkok Time) this story is not going to be sold, modified, or translated in any manner.

He’s a really damn good boyfriend

He met you because you’re the branding manager of his team in order to promote your team to an international volleyball match

When he saw you, you were a little overweight and you were pretty cool when you present her ideas and talk to other members. Upon that, he’s really curious about you, during the process of knowing each other, Bokuto learned that you’re really organized, and tidy, and also you’re always giving him comfort, also some advice when he’s in the bad mood.

Those sides of you make him want to get closer to you when you ask him to accompany you to the gym, he’s getting more *obsessed* with you

Sometimes got jealous because day by that you were not getting skinnier, but just a little chubby and he got jealous sometimes when some boys complimented about your changes.

He’s so proud of you, and in the end, he confesses to you that he’s been liking you since the first time they know each other.

But she worried so much that, ‘she’ dated Bokuto? The most famous player at MSBY Black Jackal? In the end, she asked him to give her more time to think

At first, Bokuto frowned hearing that, but he beamed showing his bubbly side that he was okay waiting for you!

Suddenly, when you both go out of the gym, many reporters and fans already capture pictures of both of you, asking Bokuto about who is this person beside him.

You are shocked and panicked when you realize you didn’t have a mask to cover your face. All you have is a shirt and a hat.

He quickly moved you behind him so the reporters can't have your picture

“If you make us uncomfortable in the future, you will stand with my lawyer that you had been disturbing someone’s private life,” he said, you hide behind him while he’s grabbing your hand tightly.

“Who’s that chubby girl you hide? Is that your partner?” one fan asked while recording him with their phone.

He remained silent, and said, “Yeah, and?”

You shocked hearing his answer, put a little pinch on his back

“And please don’t use ‘chubs’ like that, she’s just a girl, no need to add that mocking adjective,” he said with an angry expression, he knows how dirty an obsessive fan is.

“One more step and I will ask for gym CCTV recording as proof you were disturbing our lives,” he asked. After that, he grabs your hand and went to your house.

“Bokuto-san, I didn’t give your answer yet,” you said with a little smile.

“Uh- sorry! Okay? I will clarify anything at tomorrow’s press conference! I’m so sorry Y/N that really shocked me as well :(“ he apologizes to you and bowed to you with a funny gesture.

“No! I mean, you… are so cool, Bokuto-san. Thank you, that’s really bold of you” she said, and he suddenly realized he still grabs your hand.

“Ah! Sorry! I didn't mean to” he let go of your hand, and suddenly the situation gets awkward.

“So… for tomorrow…. I will make this right, I will tell them I’m just shocked, and you’re just my friend… and-”

“It’s fine”

“Wha- but… you’re”

“I accept your confession, Bokuto-san”

“Y-you don't have to if it's because of my dumb action beforehand! I'm still waiting even if it takes years, ok?!”

“No, I like you Bokuto Kotauro-san. Your brave side just a minute ago just made me like you more” she smiled, grabbed his hand, and stroke his knuckles smoothly.

Suddenly it gets silent

“You never stop making me happy, you know?” he closed his eyes, really blushing, indicating that he was really happy.

“Thank you for always supporting me, Bo-chan”, Bo-chan, his new nickname from his new girlfriend.

When a press conference happens, he stated, “She’s my new partner and I’m proud of her”

#bokuto x reader #haikyuu x reader #bokuto koutarou x reader #haikyuu!!#bokuto fanfic #bokuto icons #bokuto koutarou #bokuto kotaro #bokuto #bokuto x you #bokuto x y/n #haikyuu imagines #hq images #bokuto x fem!reader #chubby reader

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gaybatmanenthusiast · 11 months

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A KILLING HEARTBREAK (oneshot)

(billy loomis x gn! reader)

⋆★ word count : 1,275

⋆★ warnings : angst, severe sadness, mentions of death, idk what else to warn abt!!

⋆★ abt : reader and Billy are all lovey dovey, then it all goes down hill from there

⋆★ extra : n/a

You were a new student at Woodsboro High School, and you didn't really know anyone. You sat alone in the cafeteria when a group of students walked in. You recognized one of them as Billy Loomis, the most popular guy in school. Most girls talked about him so you picked up quick on that. He was surrounded by his friends, but he looked bored and uninterested in their conversation.

You couldn't help but stare at him. He was tall, with dark hair and dark brown eyes that you could get lost in. You had seen him around school before, but you had never talked to him. He was always surrounded by his friends, and you were far too shy to approach him.

But one day, you were walking home from school when you saw Billy sitting alone on a bench. He was staring at the ground, clearly lost in thought. You mustered up the courage to approach him. Thinking your head it was a bad idea once you got close enough.

"Hey, Billy," you said, trying to sound casual. you failed at that, you were obviously nervous.

He looked up at you, surprised. "Hey," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. eyes locked on yours.

You sat down next to him, and there was an awkward silence between you. You didn't know what to say, and he seemed to be lost in thought again.

After a few minutes, he spoke up. "I'm sorry if I seem out of it," he said. "I just have a lot on my mind."

You nodded, not knowing what else to say. But then he surprised you by opening up to you. He told you about his parents' divorce, and how he was struggling to deal with it. He talked about how he felt like he had to put on a brave face for his friends, but how he was really hurting inside.

You listened to him, and you could tell that he was relieved to have someone to talk to. You didn't judge him or try to fix his problems. You just listened and offered him a sympathetic ear.

From that day on, you and Billy became friends. You would often see him sitting alone on the bench, lost in thought, and you would sit down next to him. You would talk about anything and everything, and he would open up to you more and more.

Eventually, your friendship turned into something more. You would sneak away from school and spend hours talking in private. He would hold your hand and tell you how much he appreciated you. You would kiss under the stars, and he would tell you that he loved you.

You never would have guessed that the most popular guy in school would fall for you, but he did.

THIS IS WHERE IT GOES DOWN HILL SO ⚠️

Skip to 13 months in the future, a month or so after your one year anniversary. Your relationship with Billy was going strong, and you were happy. But then, everything changed. People in your town started getting murdered, and the killer was still on the loose. You were scared, but you had Billy to protect you. He was strong and brave, and he promised to keep you safe.

But then, you found out that Billy was the killer. That night at the party, You weren’t supposed to be there, but you snuck over anyways later on because Tatum wanted you there. Little did you know that night was going to ruin you forever. You arrived late, the front door was locked and you knocked a couple of times no one answered. So you went around the back to get in the garage way, or the back door at-least. You saw Tatum hanging from the small doggie door, on the garage door. You’d let out the most piercing and raw scream, tears filling your eyes you couldn’t handle seeing her like this. You’d ran over to her trying to wake her up, it didn’t work you knew it wouldn’t but you had to try. After trying to regain your composure, it obviously didn’t work. You still tried though, but that image of her will always be ingrained into your brain.

Then the worry and hurt started to get worse, adrenaline building up. You knew Billy was at this party so you walked past Tatums body and went inside. It was a stupid idea but you weren’t thinking about your safety only his. You started to feel the tears coming again; the thoughts of Billy gone flooding your head. Then you heard it, as you reached the door. Sidney panicking over to Stu, then the ghostface voice “Surprise Sidney “.

The shock you felt couldn’t be described, then again it got worse. He and Billy then revealed that they were both the killer. You couldn’t handle it, this and Tatum you started sobbing hard. You got scared knowing how loud you were and that they definitely would have heard you; you started backing away from the garage door that lead into the house, then Billy came into the garage knife in hand, covered in blood.

You’d never felt so betrayed and hurt in your life, it was a gut wrenching discovery. At first you didn’t want to believe it, your Billy? your sweet Billy, the man you’ve spent the last 13 months with; laughing, bonding and most of all trusting each other. He had opened up to you let you in and you had done the same, you knew things were bad with him and his mental health. But you hadn’t thought he could have done such heinous acts. He had been working with his friend Stu to.. murder people. Your classmates. Your principal. You just couldn't believe that the person you loved was capable of such terrible things.

Billy tried to explain himself, but you couldn't listen. You blocked everything he said out, everything was a blur at this point. Your head feeling hazy and your mind going blank. You were too hurt, betrayed, tired, everything just happened so fast. You ran away from him, and you didn't look back. You ran so fast and so far, you didn’t even notice how far you had ran until you collapsed on the side of the road. You then called the police, you did it so fast you could barely comprehend that you did it.

You were traumatized by what had happened, even if it wasn’t directly at you the pain and guilt of being with a man so sinister. Him being so evil right under your nose and you didn’t even notice. You couldn't sleep, you couldn't eat, and you couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. You felt like your world had been turned upside down.

You tried to talk to your therapist about what had happened, but they didn't understand. They didn't know what it was like. They didn't know what it was like to be scared all the time. You felt like you were alone in the world, and you didn't know how to cope. You started having panic attacks, and you couldn't leave your house without feeling like all eyes were on you.

It took a long time for you to heal from what had happened. You went to therapy, and you talked to your family about your feelings. You slowly started to feel like yourself again. But you knew that you would never be the same. You would always carry the scars of what had happened with you. You would always wonder how you could have been so blind to Billy's true nature. You would always be scared of falling in love again.

#male reader #billy loomis #x male reader #billy loomis x male reader #scream #x reader #scream 1996 #writers on tumblr #billy loomis x m! reader #m!reader #gn!reader #billy loomis x female reader #billy loomis x gn! reader #billy loomis x f! reader

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swampstew · 1 year

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Hello...

May I request a law x reader but law is like horny but tired (👉👈)?

Reader helping him out ✨by topping him✨

Fem!reader, too.

Thank you <3

Hi @lucci204 ~ I love this concept, sleepy Law needs a wake up call. I hope you like your bedtime story and happy new year!

Word Count: 743 Content warning: NSFW; Trafalgar Law X AFAB reader; reader tops and doms Law.

Law worked too many damn hours. He knew it, the crew knew it, you knew it, but he was a stubborn man and he burned the midnight oil like no other captain or surgeon. You weren't even sure what kept him so busy most of the time, silently observing him streamline coffee and rice balls every day before he disappeared behind his office door.

Tonight you had enough - you had needs too. Needs you knew he was ignoring for himself as well as forgetting you had them too. You knock loudly on his office door, knocking again for emphasis as you rap your knuckles over the steel to let him know you meant business.

No answer.

Well then. You open the door despite the strict 'don't bother Law while he's in his office' rule and peer inside. He's slumped against his desk, the harsh light of the table lamp glaring over him as he lightly snored.

"Law."

"I wasn't sleeping!" he yelled, jerking upright.

"Sure you weren't," you quirk your eyebrow at him.

Long fingers rub his eyes, "what? Need something?"

"I do," you say softly, hopping up on his desk and sitting cross-legged in front of him. He looked taken aback as he leaned into his chair's backrest, putting a little distance between you.

"You've been distant. Evasive. What's going on?"

His eyes blow up. "No I'm not! I have things going on you know."

"No I don't. You don't share any of that with me. Nor do you spend time with me. Not anymore anyways."

Law groans, smacking his face with his hand. "Fuck." His palm drags down his cheek as he braves a glance at you. Your face is neutral, your lips set in a firm line though he may have imagined it twitching downwards. Law's arms slowly snake over to your knees, giving each cap a gentle squeeze before dragging slender fingers down your calves, gripping them in his hands and pulling your legs over the table.

"I'm sorry, I'm just tired," he laid his head down on your lap, kissing your thighs. "It's not you, it's me. I'm being such a fuckboy."

"Captain," you whisper and he snaps his eyes to yours. "I know you take on a lot. I'm not asking for much. Just some of your time." You cradle his face with your hands, encouraging him up so you can kiss on him.

"You make decisions day in and out, you plan for the future, you plan and scheme and commiserate. Let me make some decisions."

He grins and gives you a nod, leaning back in to continue kissing. He gently pets your breasts over your boiler suit as you lick his lips, pushing through and stealing swipes at his tongue as it dances along yours. Soon you were pushing against him, crawling off the table to straddle his lap.

Law's face grew flushed, hands gripping the armrests as you unzip your suit, maneuvering on his lap to undress completely while keeping your seat. He ogled shamelessly at your nude form and flexibility.

"All you have to do Law, is sit here and take it," you gush as you unbutton his yellow long sleeve. Your fingers dip into his jeans as you pull on them, "you've been neglecting the both of us, so I need to remind you of who you're hurting when you do."

You push his jeans down and free his cock. It swings up and hits against Law's chiseled abs. He was fully aware that it had been a number of weeks since you had lost gotten intimate, probably longer than that to be intimate with himself. Your fingers ghost down his length and Law chokes down a gasp. You wrap your hand around his veiny shaft and pump him, a guttural growl slowly building in his chest.

He watches as you move to rub his swollen tip, so entranced with your pretty painted nails against his ballooned head, he didn't register you shifting your hips forward. Your slick center made contact with his sensitive skin and Law let out a startled gasp. You are so wet, strings of slick dripping down to pool on his thighs as you grind against his cock.

"What do you feel?" you husk out.

"Pain," he whines through his panting.

"Why?"

"Because I forgot how much I love your pussy and starved it of affection."

"Good boy Law," you moan, sinking down on his throbbing cock.

#trafalgar law x reader #swampstew bedtime stories #law x you #law x reader #swampstew #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law #trafalgar one piece #one piece trafalgar law #trafalgardwaterlaw #law one piece #trafalgar d law x reader #lucci204 #swampstew stories #raven answers #afab reader

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lynettethemadscientist · 3 months

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So. . . what is Fallout 4 about in your opinion?

(Asking this not angrily, but as someone who's genuinely curious about your thoughts on the game. I played it too and I love it. Nick Valentine my beloved!)

Thank you for asking!!

Fallout 4’s story is primarily about two things, both concerning how we cope with Suffering and Despair.

When you begin the game, you and your spouse are finally reunited after a long military deployment and you have a brand new baby (no more than a few months old). You’re on the cusp of a beautiful future together. All your dreams are finally coming true.

And then it’s all taken from you. In the worst possible way. Your spouse is executed in front of you. Your child is taken by people with unknown but undoubtedly horrific intentions. And when you wake up for the second time you have no idea how long he’s been in their possession.

When you find the last remnant of your past life (Codsworth), he informs you that everything you know and love has not just been destroyed, but is long forgotten.

You only have one thing left; one reason to keep going, so you pursue your only lead.

And there you find Preston Garvey. He tells you about people and places that mean nothing to you. And he burdens you with the responsibility of saving these people.

It feels almost cruel. The world has brutally taken everything from you and still it sees fit to task you with saving it.

You only say yes because your moral compass insists. You can’t just leave people to die. Not when you can do something about it.

But if you do ask Preston about his recent tragedy he’ll tell you:

“I had to put on a brave face as long as there were still people counting on me. That's the only reason I kept going.”

You don’t know it yet, but this foreshadows your future in the Commonwealth.

As you search for your son in a poisoned, decaying land full of giant monsters, you quickly realize there are two kinds of people: those who want to kill you, and those begging you to rescue them from certain death. Everywhere you turn there is desperation. And you grow more weary and more worried each time you steer away from your search to save a family pleading for your help.

And then you find Kellogg. However you feel about killing him, the answers you need are locked in his head, so you leap in. As you walk through his memories, to your dismay you find that his family was brutally taken from him in much the same way yours was. And that he chose to become the very same monster that created him.

And here we find the first thesis of the story: suffering is inevitable, and it will change you, but you are the one who decides whether your strife changes you into a better or worse person.

However the Sole Survivor chooses to respond (or not respond) to this is up to your character, but the message is clear.

For the purpose of truly realizing the second thesis, let’s say this moment was a wake-up call for your Sole. You grit your teeth and silently swear an oath to yourself that no matter what happens, you won’t end up like Kellogg. You won’t let your loss turn you into something evil.

But it’s hard to fight the despair creeping into your heart now that you know your son is already 10 years old. He’s been raised by the Institute. An organization that has thus far only seen fit to inflict harm on the Commonwealth for unknown reasons. You try to push the implications of this out of your mind as you now search for access to the organization that has haunted this land for over a century.

The burden of helping settlers only grows heavier as the seemingly insurmountable task of getting into the Institute looms over you.

And when you finally get inside, not even your most harrowing nightmares could have predicted what you find.

Your son is an old man. A callous and calculating old man. He bears features resembling that of you and your spouse, but the more he talks the more he seems like a cruel mockery of your once happy family.

Searching the Institute for answers only plunges the knife deeper. Every terminal, every overheard conversation only confirms the worst; that the squalor and desperation of the Commonwealth, the constant fear and instability, is all the intentional result of the Institute’s machinations. Your own son is the one who has been making life a living hell for all the people you've met and befriended on your way to rescuing him.

Devastating doesn’t even begin to cover it.

The one thing you had left, the one reason you endured for so long has not just been irrevocably taken from you, but has been twisted into something monstrously evil.

When you reach the surface again, you realize you have nothing left. Maybe you consider walking into the water and letting the rads take you. Or maybe putting the barrel of a gun in your mouth.

You wonder why you even survived this long. Why couldn’t you have just died in that cryopod? Or been another casualty of the wasteland? Why are you even still here?

But before you can finish the job you remember why. As much as you might want to, you can’t die yet. There are too many people depending on you now. And you’re the only one who can stop your son.

And here we find the second thesis of the story: having a purpose beyond oneself is the only way to endure impossible levels of suffering. Without a purpose, one succumbs to despair.

What was once a moral obligation has become your only reason to keep going. What was once a burden is now your lifeline.

And with that I think perhaps I should stop haha ^^; I’ve already waxed on for a lot longer than I intended and I feel bad that I made you wait so long for a response. I’ll keep going if anyone wants to hear the rest but I think I’ve about covered the core themes of the story and I fear I’ve already been too tedious about it

#i swear I tried to be as brief as possible #but immersion is essential to understanding the story #Fallout 4 #fo4

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thisapplepielife · 7 months

Text

Bang Dem Sticks

Character(s): Gareth | Word Count: 800 | Rating: T | CW: None | Tags: Drumming, Future Fic, Gareth & Eddie are Best Friends

Takes place in the Tuesday's Gone With the Wind universe but I don't see why it can't be read as a standalone as long as you know Gareth's a drummer.

2023

Gareth sits behind his drum kit in a little studio. It's just him, several cameras, and the handful of guys behind the glass in the control room. He was invited to come do a video for a YouTube drum channel, where the concept was sold to him as a challenge where they'll play a song they think he's never heard, without the drum part. And then he has to blindly play what he thinks the drum part actually is, just to see how close he can get.

That sounded like a fun stop on the press tour, a change of pace from the same old, same old, so he agreed. At least this involves playing the drums, instead of just talking about the new album, the new tour. Getting asked the same four questions over and over.

This time some of the interviewers are getting brave enough to gently ask if he’s getting ready to retire. He’s not. Not yet. But that can’t be too far off. He’s almost fifty-five. He’s been on the road, nearly continuously, since he was fresh out of high school. He loves drumming, he does. But he also doesn’t want to die behind his kit on the road. He doesn’t want to die on the road, at all. He worries about that. He wants to retire, and spend the rest of his time with the people he loves most.

If he’s gonna die behind the kit, it’s gonna be the one in Harrington House, surrounded by the people he loves. Not in a strange city, all alone.

Not to mention, his right knee is getting to the point of needing some attention. The steroid shots are helping, but they're a short term fix. If he wants to walk into his old age, he’s probably looking at surgery. He hasn’t told Eddie that yet, because Eddie’ll fret about it. So there’s no need to worry him until it can’t be put off any longer.

So today he takes an Aleve, shows up, sits behind his kit, and lets them rig up all the cameras. Overhead, of his face, his hands, his feet. Then he waits.

When they give him the go sign, he sits up a little straighter. They play a song, and he starts playing along. He knows this one from playing with Eddie.

They try another. Eddie.

And again.

Eddie.

He finally laughs, "You're gonna hafta go newer."

He's sure they have his resume. They are clearly staying away from metal and hard rock. But crossing genres isn't enough for older songs. If it had an interesting drum part, Eddie's probably already dragged it into Hellfire Studios at some point over the years for them to play together. No matter the genre.

"How do you know all those?" they ask through the headset, clearly a little surprised. They had a handful of songs, and he knew them all. They need to dig deeper.

Gareth just smiles.

Eddie won't want to be named, not publicly, so Gareth just laughs and says, "I have a friend I jam with sometimes. He has very broad tastes."

They dig up something else, something newer, and it’s finally one Gareth’s never heard before. He gives them a thumbs up, and counts the time signature. It’s in 4. He listens closely. Finds the groove of the bass. Feels it. Thinks about how he’d slide in the pocket, if this was his drum part to build from scratch.

The song ends, and Gareth gives it his best shot.

When he’s finished, they roll the playback of the full song, original drum part intact, and he realizes he wasn't that far off. He's been a drummer for over fifty years, a professional for decades, and he's just happy his ear still works. That his instinct is intact, even on modern music. Though, this was a throwback of a song if he’s ever heard one. They should have found something truly modern, if they wanted to trip him up. Not a young band that has clearly found inspiration in the 70s, in Zep and Rush. Gareth knows how that goes, lived it, a long, long time ago.

Weeks later, when the video gets posted to the YouTube channel, it sure doesn't take very long for the comments on the video to start naming Eddie as the friend.

That's okay. Eddie's certainly not scouring YouTube for videos of Gareth anyway. And it's not like Gareth was the one that ID'd him. It's no secret they still play together, that they are still best friends.

And in three days he'll be back home, playing with Eddie again. Where he wants to be. Maybe he’ll bring this new tune home and see if Eddie can figure out the guitar part, just for fun.

The YouTube algorithm served me up this video of Chad Smith yesterday and I was like, oh, Gareth.

And here we are. It didn't really fit in with anything I have left for Wildflowers...and All the Rest, but I was inspired to write it, and thought, hey, it can just be a little standalone.

#thisapplepielife: short fic #ficlet #gareth (stranger things)#wildflowers...and all the rest #gareth fic #corroded coffin fic #gareth & eddie #stranger things fic #corroded coffin boys #corroded coffin

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stela20 · 3 months

Text

I'm sorry if my English is not good, I use Google Translate

This is my story from the Quotev website, so I wanted to write it and publish it here, but enjoy ❤

POV y/n

This is my first day in primary school, but this is not any school. This school is for children who are distinguished by extraordinary talents, such as the iPad, dancing, and other singing, and I am very happy because I have noticed from all the people and newcomers in the field of songs that my voice is very beautiful and we will be able to be chosen as a talent in the future, and I have They recommended this beautiful school for me and I am very happy because I will achieve my dream and now I want to make friends and meet new people. I now entered the class and the teacher Sandy introduces me to the rest of the class ❤

Teacher Sandy: Well guys, we have a new student today. Can you tell us about yourself?

Y/n: First… My name is Y/n and I am 7 years old. I hope you can become friends

The whole class welcomed me and said hello to me

Teacher Sandy: y/n, here you go with your request ❤

I sat next to a person with dark hair, a black face, and completely white eyes. He looked like Venom from the Spider-Man movies. I admired his appearance and wanted to get to know him.

y/n: Mm hello

Agouti: Hello

y/n: What is your name and age?

Agouti: My name is Agouti and I am 8 years old

y/n: That's good, can we be friends?

I was surprised: What is so fast?

y/n: yeah what's up ❔

Agouti is sad: ….I think you will be afraid of my appearance and bully me 💔

y/n: No, why should I be afraid of your appearance or bully you?

Agoti did not say anything, and I was going to ask him, but the teacher, Sandy, said that the lesson begins now, and after the end of the lesson, it was time for recess. I was walking and discovered this giant school. I suddenly discovered that Agoti was being bullied because of his appearance, and there were boys bullying Agoti.

Boy 1: Well, well… Look who's here, the ugliest boy in this school

Boy 2: You don't really have a place here. You have to go to another school, and your voice isn't really beautiful.

These words made Agouti cry, and the boy 1 also started pulling Agouti’s hair and the boy 2 encouraged him. I could not bear this and intervened to defend him.

Y/n Anger: You two stay away from Agouti

Boy 1 surprised: And who are you even?

y/n Fury: I'm Agouti's friend

Boy 2 laughs: What and who befriends this disgusting monster?

y/n got angry: He's not a monster, it's you

Boy 1 got angry: Well, it seems that you want to learn your lesson. Forget this boy now and focus on this girl.

I am now trying to defend myself and prevent these boys from approaching me

POV agouti

Agouti said to himself: This girl defended me and said that I am not a monster. I want to know why she is doing this and these two boys are trying to bully her, but she resists and stays away from them… No, I will not let these two boys bully her. I must be brave.

I wiped my tears and now I'm defending y/n

Agoti got angry: Hey, stop harassing her

Boy 2 got angry: Okay, now the weak person is defending this weak mouth

Agoti got angry and screamed: Ahhh, that's enough, y/n, hold me tight and don't ask why.

Y/n caught me well and I used my gravity force and made these two boys float in the air and they felt very terrified and after that my friends Tabby and Ayana and my big brother Drex came and after that I lowered these two boys to the ground and they were going to run away. But the police grabbed them forcefully

Al-Drex got angry: Do you know if you approach my brother again?

Tabby: Do you know?

Ayana: Or we will tell you

Boy 1 Fear: No, no, no, we will not approach this boy again

Boy 2 Fear: We only know that he has supernatural powers. We will leave from here and never approach him again.

The two boys, Ayana, Tabby, and my brother Al-Darks went to check on me

Drex: Agoti, are you okay?

Happy Agouti: Yes, I'm fine, thanks to my new friend, y/n

Tabby: Wait a minute, this girl is in the same class as me, Agoti, and Ayana

Y/n's pov

I got to know Tabby, Ayana, and the Drakes, and we all became friends. After the years passed, I became 18 years old, and Ajuti was 19 years old. Ajuti and I became famous singers, and the rest of the friends did as well. After time passed, I began to love Ajuti in everything, including his voice, his cheerful personality, and Everything is in and now I will confess to Agoti that I love him and he is now with me ❤

Agouti Hamas: y/n I'm here. Do you want us to sing a new song?

y/n: Haha, Agoti, I want to tell you something. Do you mind listening to me until the end?

Agouti: …well what's going on?

y/n: Agoti, I have loved you for a very long time. I love everything about you, your cheerful personality, your singing style, and everything about you. Do you share the same feelings with me?

POV agouti

I can't believe what my ears hear. Is this true? The girl I've loved for a long time loves me. I can't believe this ❤

y/n: …Mm Agoti, are you okay?

Agouti: I can't believe this. I also have the same feelings… I love you so much

I took Y/n in a deep kiss that lasted for a minute and she was also happy about it. I held Y/n's hand tightly and looked into his eyes.

Agouti: You are so beautiful, brave, strong, kind and kind, Y/N. I love you so much and I will do anything to make you happy ❤

y/n: Me too

Agoti: But I want to know why you love me

Saeeda y/n: Mmm okay… nice, smart, present, your personality is enthusiastic and adventurous, and you love singing, present ❤

Agouti: What are you doing?

y/n Saeeda: A beautiful voice exists ❤

Agouti: And the shape

y/n gently cups my cheek, looks into my eyes and smiles

y/n: Yes ❤ I love you, Agouti, and I don’t care about appearance, I love you as you are, Agouti ❤

Agouti: Me too, y/n ❤

Y/n's pov

And since that time, I and Agoti have been together and we have been singing “Hate.” How nice. I am happy that I am with my lover and my future husband, and Agoti and I are living our lives happily now ❤

❤ The end ❤

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tarot-dreams · 1 year

Text

A Horoscope For A New Year.

♑️ Continue to tout your achievements, they are impressive; but know that you aren’t fooling anyone. The loneliness that grips your quiet places is as clear as the forced smile on your face. If you are to know true happiness, you must resolve the pain from days gone by. It has to happen now. It’s such a distant past. You know what must be done. You don’t want to compromise, and you don’t have to, but if you don’t, misery will gladly walk hand in hand with you for the rest of your days.

Mantra : Strive.

♒️ You’re so sure you’re right. You refuse to see the perspective of those who have a differing point of view. Your words are like daggers, and you aren’t afraid to cut those who you feel are deserving. Be forewarned: there are many who hear what you say, and see what you do. They are quiet now, but they won’t remain that way forever. When it happens, you’ll say you weren’t picking a fight, and that’s somewhat true. But regardless, strife will come for you, and when it does, you’ll be blindsided. This doesn’t have to be your future. It isn’t always easy to do, but if you can open your mind to your ideological inverse, you will avoid disaster.

Mantra : Forgiveness.

♓️ Where do you fit in? Do you truly accept your tribe? Do they accept you? How long will it be before you’ve come to the conclusion that this well has run dry? Now you’re searching for the next trend. Then you realize that’s your true tribe. The nomads. The locusts. Leave this downward spiraling cycle behind. Look inward. Stop placing blame on others. Your failures and your success stem from the same place. You are able.

Mantra : Sustain.

♈️ A riddle desperate to be solved. Unable to be caught. Always on the run. Your constant thirst for something new is unquenchable. It could be said that you should take a moment for introspection, but that moment will come only when you allow it. Is there a challenge you won’t attempt to conquer? Will you ever back down? Have you discovered your limits? Your eyes are fixed upon the horizon, but it’s a place you’ll never reach. But when you are home, you are royalty.

Mantra : Quality.

♉️ Your success is immeasurable, but how do you see it? Do you value your accomplishments? Are you focused more on others around you, and how you feel undervalued by them? They see the work you do. Perhaps they don’t thank you as much as you’d like them to, so perhaps you need to be your own advocate. You aren’t taken for granted, they just don’t know how to thank you in a way that you will find meaningful. That’s not entirely your fault, you just need to calmly and clearly let others know what it is that you truly need.

Mantra : Merciful.

♊️ There has never been a greater time of change in your life than right now. Changes that can’t be undone. Do not let abandonment enter into your mind. This is your path now. This is who you are. Embrace it wholeheartedly. It will be taxing at times, but it also will be the most rewarding thing you’ve ever done.

Mantra : Hope.

♋️ Will this be the year when true stability enters back into your life? Whose definition of stability are you using? A younger version of yourself once played this game. Your maturity is your greatest strength. It’s all a game, but it’s your choice to play it or not; and you’ve finally realized that you are the one who makes the rules.

Mantra : Enough.

♌️ Your quest for adventure knows no end. A youthful heart is your guiding light. You’re admired by many, who aren’t brave enough to walk your path. Quietly criticized by cowards, but you’d never know because you only show them kindness, and in the end they envy your life. Never stop living your life on your terms.

Mantra : Limitless.

♍️ The twilight hours can be lonely. Hours of uncertainty. Staring into the face of a clock. Watching the minutes pass like hours. Holding tightly to that which you can’t control. You can’t stop the rapid passing of time. Give thanks for that which you have. Realize how far you’ve come. Be thankful for each new day.

Mantra : Acceptance.

♎️ If you can’t be honest with yourself, how will you ever be honest with anyone? Your highs are heavenly, and your lows are within the deepest depths of hell. You preach, but do you listen to your sermons? This is a time for true elevation. If not not now—when? Stop putting off that which you know you must do. Embrace your honest self. Speak only words that are true; and if you aren’t sure of the truth, remain silent. Reflect, breathe, and move forward. Return to your true source and you shall find enlightenment.

Mantra : Mindfulness.

♏️ You stand upon the precipice of the next great chapter of your life. Keep riding your wave, know it will take you to great places. Continue to laugh, it’s infectious. Alway be true to yourself. You are nobility. But now you have to take the reigns on your responsibilities. No one else can do it for you.

Mantra : Believe.

♐️ There is nothing beyond your reach. There is nothing you can’t achieve. But you have to be patient. It doesn’t all come at once. If your focus is constantly on that which you don’t have, you’ll never see all that you do. You continually inspire. Don’t be afraid to sing your songs, everyone is waiting to hear them. Your will can move mountains.

Mantra : Strength.

#horoscopes #2023 horoscope #zodiac

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dropthedemiurge · 10 months

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Why Kawi is so Ace-coded (and anxious)[Cinematography wise]

I decided in order to keep discussing and analyzing Be My Favorite EP10 with @pinkkop and @rocketturtle4 posts on board, I want to point out more details and signs. Disclaimer: I may not know the depth of sexually-undesiring allo people but I know my visual storytelling tools when I see some.

It seems like there are two camps of viewers who view Kawi as ace vs who view Kawi as just hesitant to changes/intimacy. As a proud and hopeful member of the first camp, I want to show why do I think Kawi always felt somewhat ace-apec, but especially it kicked the ace people right in the heart in Episode 10. We talked about all the too intentional lines (ace-core from Kawi and ace-phobic from Max & Pisaeng) so I'm not pausing for them much.

So, Kawi has gone 30 years without relationship or sleeping with someone, or even trying. As @pinkkop said, how come he realizes he's queer only now? We have Max and Pisaeng who know they're gay for years, and a lot of queer people find their heart doesn't align with society norms in youth. But ace people often don't realize they are queer until 20+ or even 30+.

Kawi has lived with his romantic crush on Pear for years and a couple of time travels. As we know, he doesn't know how to navigate the relationship once he gets it, once he starts dating her, he can't give her marriage and a kid (partially because he was not ready and it wasn't what he needed/wanted, he wanted only the idea of dating Pear and stop being a loser). Not once he commented or agreed with Not & friends talking about Pear being hottest girl in uni (tho mostly it was Pisaeng dealing with it) – Kawi liked her for being kind and caring.

But then, he fell in love with Pisaeng. He started dating Pisaeng. Is he ready to go further? No, and there could be plenty of reasons, ranging from anxiety, self-doubts and trauma to lack of desire. He drank just to be able to kiss him, ffs. I am sure Kawi has a lot of psychological things holding him back from trying, it's been established, but that's not all of it in my opinion.

I'll put the rest under the cut because I feel like this post will be too long with all the screenshots, feel free to read the rest of it and let me know your thoughts~

Whenever in BL main characters end up on one bed, it's almost inevitable trope of 'will they won't they'. BMF teased us the other day with the drunk brave kiss from Kawi:

And that's how you show someone's desire to kiss: Kawi was staring at Pisaeng for minutes (notably, Pisaeng didn't have any thoughts until Kawi demanded attention and meaningfully stared some more). Everything slows down, you get some slow music, you cut down to faces/details to express emotions and let the viewer absorb the atmosphere (romantic or sexual or even inner dramatic turmoil – all the important bits use tools like this).

That's how I know Kawi wants to kiss. Kawi will want to keep kissing Pisaeng even when sober, once he gets past his block. Yeah, ace people can be comfortable with kissing too.

But do we ever get an impression Kawi wants to have sex with Pisaeng? Are we ever shown this? Not in my humble opinion.

Kawi doesn't touch Pisaeng much when kissing him. In fact, I think that scene is the only instance. We have talked about how intentional not-touching is seen with Pisaeng and Kawi relationship development, sorry I won't find those comments now. Then Kawi conveniently gets what he wanted (da kiss) and falls back asleep:D While Pisaeng is having his slow-close-up romantic moment by himself:

Now, fast forward to the future (but not the Future future) - Kawi is sober, lies in bed with Pisaeng (way less sober last night), already happy in a brand new relationship... and the only thoughts he's having is how Pisaeng is good looking and they are dating now.

I think I can safely bet how in all the other BLs there is usually a moment to close up on the romantic interest's face, or lips, longing stare showing the MC's desire to be intimate with your love. It's in 99% of the shows. Kawi has none of it. He just has a funky cute dialogue in his head that says 'I just want to keep staring at him' (and nothing else huh?)

The next trope BLs just love to use is someone undressing in front of their crush/partner. Let me just pull the scene from The Eclipse out (I wish I could compare it to P'Waa other works but BMF is his first BL, yet he definitely knows how to use visual tools)

youtube

Here at 2:25 we have Akk, a guy, inexperienced with dating and relationships too AND having insane amount of trauma, anxiety, self-doubts and holding back. So much that he has to break down crying several times to allow himself seek his own love and happiness. And yet in the beginning of his journey he still CLEARLY shows his interest in Ayan, even when they are enemies/rivals. It comes with:

staring at Ayan, looking him up and down, swallowing, turning his head away (indication of being flustered and having dirty thoughts)

close-ups on Ayan undressing

sexy music as bgm

And then we get his feelings and desire confirmed with very hot bed kiss that Akk, turns out, literally fantasized. (i actually was headcanonning akk as ace-spec but i accepted that wasn't the case as the show went on and we got shown more so yeah i can change my mind but kawi is heavily aced in 10 episodes and it's not stopping so far)

Compare the similar scene and trope with Kawi and Pisaeng undressing. Kawi is confused, mildly annoyed?, not a single swallow or eyes running away until he takes a hint (accompanied by the familiar sound that BMF uses for 'oh shit' realization). Funky comedic music on the background (and we know BMF does have osts for the romantic mood). Most importantly, there is never close-up/detail shot on Pisaeng.

Detail shots are 100% the go-to when you want to show desire, as I already said. Put a close up on the detail on someone else's body and add person's face reaction. Boom, you've got it.

Like, see the difference? Do you see it? That's Akk's POV.

And that's Kawi's POV:

Mind you, these are ALREADY BRAND NEW BOYFRIENDS. All poor Pisaeng gets is half- and full-body shots (adding to the comedy/simply telling what's happening), no slowing down the narration - and all the detailed looks on his body are simply out of focus, on the edge of the frame. I am fascinated by this cinematography.

We literally can see the book Kawi reads clearer than Pisaeng having his sexy striptease alone. Kawi is more interested in reading Sherlock Holmes than ogling Pisaeng and fantasizing about being close to him (even with all the inner turmoil he could be having – he is having it later, once he catches up on Pisaeng's blunt hit of inviting him to the shower and condoms in his backpack). it's also funny how kawi has the time to nag pisaeng about towel but since it's improv from krist to gawin who kept forgetting it, i'm not taking it seriously

Even then, his thoughts are confidently said out loud 'can we not have any sexual activities at all?', avoiding staying alone with Pisaeng in his room, 'i don't want to ride, i'm just here to take the vibes' (and while Pisaeng is upset and sad from the failed metaphor, Kawi genuinely thinks their date was great, this was enough for him, Kawi is brutally honest with Pisaeng, he wouldn't say this if he really didn't think so).

I can't remember any instances where sexy close-up shots were used in Kawi's POV. Only with kissing. Adding all the dialogue lines from Kawi and answers from others that are painfully precisely familiar for majority of ace people, adding how Kawi never has thought dirty thoughts until he clicked on people suggesting them (and not enjoying it)... I am dying on this hill and begging BMF not to fuck this up. Please don't give me ace erasure when ace-spec!Kawi has been hinted so heavily through several storytelling tools. They can meet in the middle, I just want BMF to be caring to Kawi and his feelings and not force him to cater to Pisaeng's needs because that's 'what happy boyfriends do and turns out, he did need to try it first to learn that he craves it!'

P.S. I do know Pisaeng and Kawi talked before the last scene and we'll 99.9% see it later, I'm also 90% sure Pisaeng time travelled in Ep.10, and I would be pleasantly surprised if we end up with Kawi and Pisaeng not going too far when they explore being intimate for the first time.

Oh, about the last scene. I had many mixed feelings (and was surprised to see people commenting how awww romantic and touching it was), because Krist shows a lot of internal struggle for Kawi (and no, not because he doesn't wanna kiss Gawin, fight me).

(nicely colored gifs by @piningbisexuals that portray everything i want to point out, thank you)

It's the blinking eyes, heavy breathing as soon as Kawi sheds his shirt, the swallowing, neck muscle twitching, furrowed determined eyebrows) and several little nods when he responds to 'Are you sure'?

It's very intentional acting. It's fucking brilliant acting in showing Kawi's anxiety and gosh, Kawi is being so brave to take this challenge and change his whole life once again, I might cry. If he turns out to be ace, I might actually cry but like I pointed out before, for me Kawi's lack of sexual desire is very readable. But no matter what, I have my trust in BMF to tread Pisaeng and Kawi intimacy carefully, it's been great so far and P'Waa knows what he's doing and how he is filming. I just hope it aligns with my wishful thinking.

#be my favorite #be my favorite meta #be my favorite the series #pisaeng x kawi #ace kawi #asexuality #i took courses in cinematography as a cameraman and that's why i pay attention to the framing and visual storytelling and details #i'm not an expert of course but i worked for a while in indie filming #and yes i am still dying on that hill but i understand why people who aren't ace can't notice the signs or don't relate to the dialogue #huh that was long and i already wrote like several posts #thai bl #thai drama #the eclipse #the eclipse series #bl meta #dropthemeta #bmf meta

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ughgoaway · 4 months

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Heyyyyyy! I’ve been off tumblr since the holidays and just wanted to check in and say hey! How’ve you been? Happy new year!

I was using the sunflower emoji to sign off my previous asks (I always signed off with three emojis) and noticed over the break someone else adopted it (literally no worries at all — I can’t even keep track of what’s claimed and what isn’t lol) so I’m going to adopt 🔮🔮🔮 from now on lol.

Anyway just wanted to let you know the most recent blurb w/ Annie meeting her brother is eeeeverythinggggg to me and I need more. It was nice coming back on tumblr and catch up on the blurbs I missed. The teacher!au is one of my favorite fics I’ve ever read and I’ve missed the little family!!!

Also — I saw you’re post about how you’ve always thought Annie to end up with a character from another fic on tumblr and it just got me wondering what Mattys reaction would be to Annie dating/getting into her first relationship when she’s older. lol I can see him being really excited for her but also freaking out and wonder what you would think?

Lots of love!! - 🔮🔮🔮

hi my love!!! oh it's so great to hear from you!! this year has been a little shit so far, but its getting better for me! how about you???

I'm so sorry about the emoji mix up! although, you have chosen a very good replacement imo. for future reference for everyone, I have a list of claimed emoji anons in my pinned post so people know what's taken and what's not :)))) (i'll add you to it now <3)

omgggg I'm so glad you enjoyed the blurb, it was so fun to write. I love thinking about their little family growing :)))) it's so lovely to have you back and I hope you enjoyed your catch up!!! teacher au is one of your fav fics ever??? I am actually gonna cry??? oh I love youuuuuuu!!!!

oh yes... Matty's reaction would be interesting to say the least.

(rambles below the cut as usual <3)

✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿✿❀✿

I think he would start off just in complete denial. He refuses to believe that his little girl has a CRUSH?? or even worse, SHE'S DATING SOMEONE????

obviously, he wants her to be happy and find love, but in his head, she is a BABY. like, no, she is not 14 years old. She was born yesterday, actually.

Annie tells you about it first. I think she wants your help her break it to her dad because she knows he will have... mixed feelings. so you sit down together to tell him, and it's just... silence for a good few seconds.

"Huh? no, no. say it again, think I misheard you, sweetheart. "

"I said I have a boyfriend"

"Oh. okay, definitely heard you right then"

but being the good dad he is, he puts on a brave face for her, "That's great peanut! what's his name? how long have you been together?"

Annie gets all shy and blushy when she explains, she doesn't give his name, but she does tell him they've been together for a month now. matty nearly does a spit take at how long he's been unaware, but holds it in and just coughs awkwardly instead.

"I'm so happy for you baby, just make sure he treats you good, yeah?"

Annie nods and assures her dad she won't let him be a dick to her (matty would normally scold her for swearing but he can't muster the energy right now), and she runs off giggling upstairs because the boy in question has just rung her.

and he is genuinely happy for her, but that doesn't mean it doesn't make him feel ancient, "dating. she's dating. oh god, I think I'm officially old. i have a DAUGHTER who is DATING???"

you comfort him and laugh lightly at his reaction, which only makes him groan and bury his face in your neck. "m'sorry baby, your reaction was just too funny. from what she's told me, he seems lovely. even writers her notes in class"

matty then shoots back and eyes you suspiciously, "Wait. you already knew? she told you before me?" his voice is squeaky as he processes the betrayal.

"Sweetheart, you can't blame her! girls always tell their mums these kind of things first. she just wanted my help to tell you anyway." That soothes matty a bit. The fact that Annie wanted to share this part of her life with him at all was something he valued massively.

"Wait. she said he sends her notes. Did she show you any?" You nod, and matty immediately starts grilling you for information.

"I can't tell you anything, Matthew, girl code!" Of course he pouts and tries to get you to crumble by pressing kisses up your neck. but you stay firm (mostly) and don't tell him ANYTHING.

now, who is Annie dating? I like to think it's someone with a connection to the boys, not baby hann - those two are more like cousins. and in this universe, George and Ross aren't parents yet. so maybe a nephew from one of them?

I think her and George's nephew could be VERY interesting... especially when those two find out about the romance lmaooooo

#so nice to have you back angel!!!#also other sunflower anon- do not worry at all!! its very easy to get confused lol #but annie dating is going to be so fun to explore #especially if its with George's nephew...#🔮🔮🔮 anon #anon!#teacher au!

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sixpennydame · 1 year

Text

North Star ✶ Chapter 1

Next Chapter | Series Masterlist

Read in AO3

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x OC

Content/Warnings: Canonverse Levi, post war Levi, slow burn, romantic smut, miscarriage, lost love, soulmates, fate, emotional angst/comfort, hurt/comfort, SPOILERS for end of Attack on Titan manga and anime season 4 conclusion

Two years after The Rumbling, a mysterious man comes to live in your boarding house. His body maimed and scarred, you wonder where he’s from and what he’s running from.

Even more so, you wonder if he’s hurting as much as you are.

Can fate and love heal two broken people?

You’d met Levi Ackerman three times before he came to live in your boarding house, but you didn’t know that.

The first time was in Corsero, a port city in Marley. Martin was shipping off from here and you wanted to surprise him with a gift. You’d stopped by a bookstore to buy a book you’d been wanting for ages, but was impossible to find in the tiny village you were from, one of the small Marleyan territories to the west. You always asked Martin to buy you books when he was in the city, but now you could finally visit the bookstore yourself. You’d just spent hours in the shop, and were making your way happily down the street when you heard screams of, “Stop that thief!”, and, “They’re getting away with him!” Before you could even realize what was happening, you rammed straight into a man running as fast as he could while holding a small child. Your book and all your other belongings went flying as you fell to the ground. The man looked quickly back at you, his dark grey eyes showing just the slightest bit of remorse, and then he turned a corner and was gone. “What a jerk,” you thought, as a small group ran after him, no one offering to help you up. “ I guess that’s life in the city for you,” you sighed, as you collected your things and continued on your way to meet Martin. When he asked about the growing bruise on your leg, you laughed it off and told him you ran into a friend. He didn’t get the joke.

——- ✶ ——-

The second time was two weeks later. Still in Corsero, you felt so lucky that you were able to spend this time with Martin before he shipped off. You’d gotten married only two months ago, when Martin joined the Marleyan Air Force. He was your childhood sweetheart, but it took him joining the military for you to realize how much you truly loved him. Marley had been incredibly successful in all its military campaigns in the past, but who knew what the future held? This was his first major deployment and it was difficult to see him go, but as you walk with him to the port, you try to keep a brave face.

“This’ll be over in three months. I’ll be back before you know it.”

You smile, but your eyes give it all away: you’re upset.

“Cathrine, we’ve been through so much together - do you think you’re gonna get rid of me that easily?” You look away. He takes your chin gently to look at him. “Hey…what’s wrong?”

You swallow then take out a deep breath. “Martin…I’m pregnant.”

He’s speechless and you can’t tell if he’s angry. Maybe he’s not ready to have a kid yet. Now you’ve just given him one more thing to worry about. “I wanted to wait to tell you until I was positively sure. But I visited a doctor today and…well…”

Martin’s face turns from shock to pure joy. “Catherine, this is amazing news. I’m gonna be a dad…I’M GONNA BE A DAD!” He screams into the crowd. Some soldiers walking by laugh and pat him on the back. “You don’t know how happy this makes me. I love you so much!”

Martin grabs you by the waist and pulls you in close. He kisses you long and hard. He always smells so good - like leather and wool. You could hear soldiers passing by to get on the ship, but you aren’t ready to let him go just yet. You grab the sleeve of his uniform and press yourself harder against him. As your lips slowly move away from each other you softly say, “Don’t forget your promise. Come home safe.”

“I will.” He picks up his duffle bag and flings it over his shoulder. As he joins the others boarding the ship, you see him give you one last look before disappearing into the crowd. You try to find him on the deck, but there are so many soldiers. You wave anyway as the ship leaves the harbor.

Feeling a bit down, you walk aimlessly down the streets until you see a small cafe. You had some time before your train left for home, so you decide to enter the establishment, the smell of coffee and baked goods luring you in. There are only a few small tables in the entire shop, so you take your coffee and pastry to the table furthest in the corner.

“Excuse me, miss?”

You look at the table to the right of you and see a man with black hair wearing a navy blue suit. It seems that he’s brewing some tea in a small porcelain kettle.

“This is probably going to seem strange, but I think I might have run into you on the street a few weeks ago. Was that you?”

It took you a moment to realize what he was talking about. Then, it suddenly comes to you. “You were the one running down the street with that boy under your arm.”

“I was trying to get him away from a dangerous crowd and couldn’t stop. I wanted to apologize if I hurt you.”

“I appreciate that. No, I was fine - just a small bruise on my leg. What a coincidence that you’d recognize me.”

“I have a good memory for faces.”

“And were you able to get the boy to safety?”

“We did. But I feel like I owe you.” The man looks uncomfortable talking to you, even though he was the one who started the conversation. “Please, let me buy your drink.”

You’re surprised. Maybe everyone in the city isn’t so rude after all. “I already paid for it, but I was thinking about buying some tea to bring home. Do you have any suggestions?”

At this, the man’s grey eyes light up. “I especially like the jasmine tea they have here. The taste is subtle but flavorful. I’ll buy you a bag.”

Before you could object, the man stands up and walks to the counter. He’s shorter than you remember when he rammed into you on the street, but he has a strong presence despite his short build. As he brings the tea to your table, you stand up to thank him and notice you are the same height.

“Let this steep for 2-3 minutes before drinking. Again, I apologize for hurting you.” With that, he turns to sit back at his table. You both finish your drinks in silence and as you walk by you smile and thank him again. He nods as you open the door to leave.

“What are the odds of something like that happening?” you think, walking back to the train station.

Little did you know you’d meet him again 7 months later, and the world as everyone knew it would be changed forever.

——- ✶ ——-

You had heard of the slaughter in Liberio caused by Eren Yeager and the Paradis forces, and were relieved that Martin hadn’t been there. You’re around seven and a half months pregnant but feel like the child is going to burst through at any time. Although war was all around, this small joy gave you both some hope in the world. Martin had finished his training to become an airship pilot and that gave him more freedom to visit home, since the Marley airbase is only a day’s train ride away. Through his position, Martin had become friends with a few warriors in the Titan Unit, which made you a bit unsettled. Not because they were Eldian - you could care less about that - but because of their dangerous, almost suicidal personalities. You were apprehensive to hear that Martin would be flying an airship for War Chief Reiner Braun to Paradis Island next month, in retaliation for the Liberio attack.

“Martin, I could be in labor by then. What if you miss the birth of your own son?”

“Catherine, this is my job. Am I supposed to say no? I don’t have that right,” Martin says as he undresses from his uniform. Then he stops to look at you. “Wait…did you just say son?”

“Well, I don’t know. It’s just a hunch.” You walk over to him and melt into his arms, your head laying on his chest. “I can’t do this without you. I’m scared.”

Martin lifts your head up to look at him. “Cath, you’re one of the strongest people I know. You can do this.” He puts his forehead against yours. “God, I’d give anything to stay with you, you know I would. But we’re in a war and I need to do my part to protect you… and our son” He places his hands on your swollen belly. “We’ll get through this.”

“When this is all over, we’re gonna start that bookstore like you promised, right?” You say, cupping his face with your hand.

“It’s exactly what Mursa needs.” Martin replies with a smile. “But hey, I’m still here now. We don’t leave until the end of the month.”

——- ✶ ——-

Word travels quickly about Marley’s defeat in Paradis and the rumor of giants making their way to the mainland. You wouldn’t have believed it if Amelia, a woman with Eldian heritage who lived in your village, hadn’t secretly told you about her vision. That same afternoon you received a wire message from Martin:

I’m safe at Fort Salta. Something bad is coming. Run to the mountains.

You read his message and can feel your pulse quickening. Like hell you are going to stay away from him; Martin and the baby are all you have in the world. You pack a bag and buy a train ticket to Fort Salta Airship Research Base. You are going to bring Martin back, no matter what is coming.

Each train stop on the way to the fort is in chaos. News of the titans arriving on the coast of Marley had reached even this far west, and everyone who could was trying to escape as far north as possible. Luckily, you were able to board one of the last trains going toward the airbase. The train is full of soldiers and Eldians who had survived the destruction of Liberio, but it’s deathly silent - almost as if everyone is trying to process just exactly what is happening.

Nothing prepares you for what you see at Fort Salta: hundreds of airships have been gathered, while in the distance a huge cloud of steam ambles slowly forward. You race toward the airship docking stations, yelling Martin’s name as loudly as you can. Miraculously, you find him talking with a flight crew preparing his airship for launch.

Martin can’t hide the terror in his eyes as he rushes towards you. “What the hell are you doing here?! Can’t you see what is about to happen? I told you to flee into the mountains!”

“I’m not going without you! Let’s just get out of here, and try to get as far as possible.”

“I…can’t. I have to try and protect you and the baby…at all cost.”

“The cost of your life?” You’re screaming over the noise of the crowd.

“Yes, if that ensures that you both are alive. We have to try.” He hugs you close, and you can feel him shaking. You start sobbing uncontrollably.

As he hugs you for what might be the last time, he whispers in your ear, “There are stables on the north wing of the fort. Take a horse and get as far away from here as possible. You have to keep living.” He kisses you. “I love you,Catherine.”

“Reader, let’s go, it’s now or never!”, you hear an officer call out to Martin. “Go to the stables, now,” he commands, and then turns to walk towards his ship. “Martin!” you yell out, but he can’t hear you over the fort commander talking through the loudspeaker and he doesn’t look back. You watch as the airships packed with explosives depart the airfield. Following them, you run outside, and that’s when you see it: countless titans with no skin and a huge, centipede-like bone creature looming over them. The airships release their bombs before they even reach the monster and suddenly, there’s boulders being thrown by something growing from the monster’s spine. In a matter of seconds, the entire squadron is up in flames and debris from the airships begins falling from the sky.

For a brief moment, everyone on the ground, the soldiers and refugees, go quiet. Then they all start screaming. The Eldians run for refuge behind the walls of the fort, and the remaining Marleyan soldiers point their canons toward them. Everything descends into chaos as you look up to see a small airplane headed toward the titans.

You’re in shock. You haven’t even processed the fact that Martin is gone and that you all are about to be crushed. Then you remember the stables and Martin telling you to survive. You start running towards the north end of the fort when a stabbing pain from your abdomen stops you in your tracks. You look down to see blood running down your leg. “Oh god, no-” , is all you can say before you double over in indescribable pain. You start screaming - the pain is so bad that you can hardly see straight. You feel a pair of hands around your shoulders as someone says, “We need to get her to a room, quickly. I think she’s having a baby!!” Another voice says, “She’s losing a lot of blood, what do we do?”, as you slowly lose consciousness.

——- ✶ ——-

You wake up in some kind of large metal structure. It’s hot, and your lips are dry and parched. You try to sit up and get your bearings, but you feel incredibly dizzy. As your eyes adjust to the dim room, you look around. It’s full of cots with not just injured soldiers, but ordinary men, women, and children as well. “Where am I?” You wonder out loud.

“You’re in an airship hangar at Fort Salta that’s been turned into a makeshift hospital for survivors. A doctor or nurse should be back around soon.”

You turn to your left to see the man talking to you. His head is wrapped in bandages and you can only see one eye. Blood is seeping out of a bandage on his left knee. He offers you some water.

“What happened?”, you manage to say between huge gulps.

“It’s over. The titans are gone, though at a heavy cost.” The man looks away.

You wanted to ask him how the titans were defeated and what happened to the bone creature, but a doctor arrives at your cot. You sit up fully to greet him.

“Don’t try to get up just yet. You lost a lot of blood and are going to feel weak and dizzy for a while.”

Your hands go toward your belly. It’s soft. You feel empty. “And…the baby…?”

“I’m sorry, but the baby was born prematurely. Had this happened at a hospital we would have had the tools to save him, but with these circumstances…” he looks at you sympathetically, “it just wasn’t possible.”

Everything stops for a moment. Did you hear that right? The baby is gone.

“It’s chaos right now and we don’t even know how many people survived this. Miss, did you come here with any family? Is there someone we can try to contact?”

“Mrs.”, you correct him. Your head is swimming and it’s hard for you to even form coherent sentences. “I’m married…Martin Reader…my husband…was an airship captain. Did anyone survive?”

The doctor’s tone becomes dark. “I’m sorry, but there were no survivors.”

Just hearing that out loud, it becomes real: Martin is gone. The baby is gone. In whatever world that has survived through this, you have no one. And it’s like a dam has been released. You begin crying uncontrollably.

“Please ma’am, pull yourself together. We’ve all lost someone here.”

“Let the woman grieve,” the bandaged man says. “What does it matter to you how she does it?”

The doctor turns to walk away awkwardly. “Someone will bring food soon.” You curl up on your cot and cry into the night. The man next to you says nothing.

You refuse the dinner the nurses bring you, and breakfast the next day. You barely leave the cot and all you want to do is sleep.

“Hey. You need to eat something”, you hear from the man. He’s holding a small bowl of stew and some bread.

“I’m not hungry. And what do you care, anyway?” You reply, your back turned to him.

“I’ve seen enough people die needlessly. And your body needs food to heal itself.”

“I’ve lost everything. My husband. My child. What’s the point of even continuing in this world? I have nothing and no one.”

“Because he would want you to keep living. That’s how we honor those who are gone: We keep pushing forward. The world is pretty fucked up right now but your part in it isn’t over.”

You turn toward the man. They’ve changed his bandages but only one grey eye is still visible and he looks at you intently.

“Is that what you’re going to do? Keep pushing forward?”

“It’s all I’ve ever known to do.”

As you continue to look at him, you see a deep sadness in his eye. You can tell that this man has suffered great loss as well, but you know better than to ask.

“Now eat. It’s getting cold,” he says as he lays the food next to you on your cot. You pick up the bowl and start to eat.

You don’t see the man much after that. Some people that visit him regularly have found a wheelchair and often take him out of the hangar. The next day, the doctor decides that you are well enough to be released. Although you are afraid to go back home, you’re ready to leave this sad place. As you pack up a change of clothes the nurses brought you, the bandaged man is brought to his bed by a young girl pushing his wheelchair.

“So you’re finally getting out of here?”

“The doctor says I’m well enough to leave. Although I’m not sure I even have a home to go back to.”

“Where are you from?”

“Mursa. It’s a small village deep in the mountains north east of here.”

“It may have been far enough behind this fort that it wasn’t affected. I’ve heard some say that most of the northern Marleyan territories were spared. But you may have to take a wagon there. All trains stopped running until they repair the tracks.”

“I’ll see what transportation I can find. And what are you going to do?”

“While my leg is like this there’s not much I can do. But I have some comrades I can stay with until I heal.”

“You’re a soldier?”

“I was. Not anymore.” He looks down at his leg.

“Captain!” you hear someone yell out to the man. So he’s an officer. You wonder if Martin knew him and you almost ask him. But what would that matter now?

“I hope you find some peace,” you say, as you reach out to shake his hand.

“Keep pushing forward,” he replies.

You find a wagon that’s going north to the base of the mountains. Finding a space to sit down in the cramped space, you think of the bandaged man. “I never even asked him his name,” you say to yourself as the wagon starts with a jolt.

Next Chapter

North Star Masterlist

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a-writers-blurbs · 7 months

Text

Under The Goshinboku

Fandom: Inuyasha

Pairing: Some Inuyasha x Kagome (maybe 5 chapters) with eventual Sesshomaru & Kagome

Universe: Canon

Rating: MA

Status: Ongoing

Where to read: FFN, Ao3, watty, dokuga

Trigger Warnings: Non-con (suggested), self harm, depression, child loss/infertility, abuse (physical & emotional), brief mention of torture, substance abuse

Story description:

It had only been two weeks. Two weeks since he reached his hand into the bone eaters well and felt the soft touch of her skin. Two weeks since she returned. And he'd be damned if he let her go again...

✍️ 📃 📚

Note: I have not watched or read YashaHime & dont plan to.

This story won't have any ties to the continuance. This will be my first FULL InuYasha Fic that I've written in like 10 years, so be nice, lol.

I plan on reuploading this edited version starting December 1st... enjoy the preview!

Crickets chirped and the wind blew as Kagome made her way to her home that didn't feel like home. No, nothing was quite right anymore.

Three years had passed since Narakus defeat. Three years since she was trapped in the Shikon jewel. Three years since she was tricked into returning to the future, her present.

After graduation, her friends tried so hard to help her be happy again. She had to give them that. But they didn't understand. No one did. How could they?

During her time away, Kagome had changed. No longer the naive and trusting girl she once was, now she was simply traumatized.

Depression was never a word she would have associated with herself, but that was the only way to describe the way she felt.

At one time she held onto hope that an older InuYasha would one day appear. But then she remembered, in her time, there were no yokai. He was gone. She would be forever doomed to live in a world without the four people she cared most about. That thought alone kept her awake at night. Sango, Shippo, Miroku, InuYasha. They were long dead in her time and she didn't even know how they'd fared.

Did Sango and Miroku ever get married? Did Shippo get his nine tails? Did InuYasha find a home? Did they miss her as they aged and passed on?

Questions she would never get answers to plagued Kagome to no end. She didn't even know where they were buried, though she suspected it was somewhere on her shrines property.

That was the silver lining in her mind. Her shrine, her home, had once been the burial ground of the village from five hundred years in the past. The village that grew and expanded to become the Tokyo of the new millennium.

It was with that thought that Kagome held onto as she entered the part of the shrine that held the bone eaters well, completely unaware of the three sets of eyes following her.

_____

"She's getting worse." The cracking voice of a teenaged Sota whispered. Just because he was six years younger than his sister didn't mean he didn't understand her feelings.

He loved his sister as much as a brother could. She was his hero, brave, confident, and honorable. Seeing her this way was killing him slowly and he didn't think he could handle seeing Kagome hurt for much longer.

"I know." His mother was just as concerned, if not more. Her daughter had always been such a cheerful girl, but after her last return, something changed.

She knew Kagome had played a hand in countless yokai deaths. That she had seen things, lived through a war and won. But she never could get her daughter to tell her just what happened in those three terrifying days.

Kagome wasn't the same anymore. This world filled with people and technology wasn't suited for her anymore.

"Do you think she'll go back?"

"The portal has been closed for years, Sota." That sad reality was one her daughter was faced with. For all intents and purposes, four of the people closest to her had died the day the well sealed shut. "I don't think she can ever go back."

"Jii-chan said she will go back." His mother's shocked look brought nothing more than a shrug from the teen as He looked toward the shrine that housed both the well and his sister's sorrow. "He doesn't know when it'll happen, but he's certain the old stories about the Miko and the Yokai are about Kagome & InuYasha."

It was a bittersweet feeling, but their mother knew what needed to happen. Kagome didn't belong here anymore. She would have to let her daughter go if she ever wanted her to find happiness. Perhaps destiny had been in play since the morning her baby girl was born. If so, who was she to try and stop destiny? "Then we should help her prepare."

_____

Did the well stop working, because I was afraid to go back? When the well closed and I was alone in the darkness, I was so scared and sad.

I didn't realize that I had been in the darkness for three whole days. I made Mom, Sota, and Jii-chan as sad and scared as I was. I felt bad about that, and was so happy to be back here.

But then the well closed and I was left alone again.

InuYasha?

I've been thinking this whole time about the reason I was sent to the feudal era and the reason the bone eaters well stopped working when the Shikon jewel was destroyed.

My job in that time is done and now I must live my life in my own world. A world without you.

But, InuYasha, I need to see you again.

The feeling of the wind was the first thing she noticed. Soon hearing the chirping of birds, Kagome slowly opened her tear soaked eyes. A small gasp escaped her lips when, instead of the dirt and bones she normally saw, Kagome saw a blue sky filled with puffy white clouds.

She momentarily wondered if she was dreaming when she felt a soft touch on her shoulder and heard the soothing tone of her mother's soft voice. "Kagome sweety, what is it?"

"Mamma." Looking at the mix of emotions on her daughter's face, she already knew what was happening even before it was said. "The well… it's, it's open again."

She could tell Kagome wanted nothing more than to jump headfirst into the past, but her fear was holding her back. Fear of what may happen if she returns. Fear of disappointing her family. Fear that InuYasha was long gone..."Jii-chan and Sota told me this would happen."

"What?" The mix of emotions suddenly vanished to be replaced by simple shock. "How did they…"

"I would have thought you had learned by now, your grandfather's stories aren't just tall tales." She couldn't help letting loose small chuckle at her daughter's expense. It was true though.

Before Kagome had been dragged into the bone eaters well, she never believed a word of her Jii-chans stories. She disregarded his gifts and laughed at his offerings.

Eventually, after her return, she had locked herself into the shrine with the old man and told him everything that had happened in her two year journey. She apologized and begged to be taught more about shrine duties.

She had grown so much. "It's ok Kagome."

Before her daughter could speak, fast paced footsteps could be heard dashing down the stairs. "Yeah sis! We knew this was coming, we even packed some stuff for you!"

A less hyper set of footsteps came to a stop as Kagome stared in awe. "Sota? Jii-chan? How…"

"I'm the keeper of this shrines history girl!" The old man cane off rough, but Kagome could tell by the look in his eyes that he was just trying to keep himself From breaking down. This was hard for him, to say goodbye. But it was meant to be and it is what she wanted so he'd gladly take whatever pain was necessary on her behalf. "From the minute you first returned with InuYasha close behind, I knew one day you'd leave us to be the heroine of our past."

Stepping next to their grandfather, Sota, fighting his own tears, gave her a goofy grin. "InuYasha will take good care of you sis, just don't forget about us ok."

"Sota!" Falling to her knees, Kagome wrapped her arms around her younger brother and held tight. "I love you ototo. Take care of mom ok?"

With a firm nod, the thirteen year old stepped to his mother's side and began tossing several large duffel bags into the well. Her grandfather smiled broadly and hugged his granddaughter tight for the last time. "You will live long and well. There will be many trials and tribulations, but as long as you hold on to the faith you have in that boy, you'll be ok. Live well my sweet girl."

Stepping back, Kagome accepted a mysterious small trunk from him and turned back toward the well. Each step brought her closer to the dream she'd had for three years but she faltered at the last step. Glancing back over her shoulder with tears in her eyes, Kagome knew she was saying goodbye forever. "I love you all so much. Thank you for understanding." Shooting them a final smile, she clutched the black and gold trunk in her arms and jumped.

_____

It had been as much of a normal day as the white haired hanyu could get. The morning sun was beating on his back as he left Miroku and Sangos hut after sharing breakfast with the couple. Shippo followed behind in silence as he walked through the forest that had once been his prison, now dubbed his lands by the village.

It had become a sort of ritual for them. Rise with the sun, breakfast with Sango and Miroku, then to the Goshinboku to beg before checking the bone eaters well and checking on Kaede & Rin. When they arrived at the clearing that once held the portal to the future, InuYasha didn't expect much.

It wasn't that he'd given up hope, more like, he had come to terms with his fate. Kikyo had never loved him but he chased her around at every corner, abandoning Kagome more than once to chase the ghost of his past.

He had caused so much pain, he hurt Kagome so much that he knew this was his karma for treating her so badly. Maybe it was time he stopped coming. It's not like the Kami would answer the call of a hanyu anyway.

He had never wished to be human, but if he could have put this karma off until the next lifetime, he would gladly trade his demon blood. If only to see her one more time.

While InuYasha lost himself in his thoughts, Shippo stood fidgeting at the foot of the well waiting. He would never admit it, but every time InuYasha reached in the well only to come up empty handed, it broke the little kits spirit.

He missed Kagome. But he knew he couldn't take the visits anymore. Shippo would tell InuYasha that he would have to start coming alone to wait at the well as soon as he watched one last time.

Coming back to reality, InuYasha looked at the young kitsune for a moment. He looked conflicted, like he wanted to get something off his chest. But when he finally opened his mouth to speak, his eyes grew wide and he rushed to the wells edge.

Holding his breath and silently begging, InuYasha reached his hand into the well. Waiting. A few moments passed and nothing happened, just like every day for the last three years.

Damning his own nose for playing tricks, InuYasha removed his hand and sighed. With a nod of his head he turned to walk away when he heard a loud thunk.

Slowly, as if afraid of what he might see, InuYasha turned back as the second thunk hit. Confusion overtook him when he saw two giant bags in front of the well. Before he could investigate, he had to back up as three more giant bags came out of the well landing at his feet.

Terrified of false hope, he reached back into the well one last time. But this time, instead of a lonely emptiness, he felt the brush of fingertips. With one tug there, she was.

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imgoingtofreakoutnow · 2 years

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After watching The Sandman and falling completely in love with Hob Gadling and Ferdinand Kingsley, I've jumped into Victoria without a second thought after finding out that our beloved Ferdie starred in it.

I have now finished the first season and, apart from really liking the show, my mind has slowly been creating this AU in which Charles Francatelli, the character Ferdinand plays in Victoria, is actually one of Hob Gadling's alter egos through the centuries.

There is quite a resemblance between the two characters' personalities and there have been a couple of scenes that made me scream: "Omg, this would be such a nice parallel with the Sandman!"

So here's my essay:

"WHY CHARLES FRANCATELLI AND HOB GADLING ARE THE SAME PERSON"

Warning: there will be Victoria S1 and The Sandman S1 spoilers

Firstly and foremost, I have to aknowledge the obvious: they're both golden retrievers. This is quite an easy one, but both of the characters are so kind and genuine and have an incredible joy for life, from what I was able to see, that you simply cannot love them immediately!

In Victoria, Francatelli is a great chef. Like, an incredibly good chef. And it would makes sense that Hob Gadling, an immortal who must have lived thousands of lives, might have become incredibly good at many things, cooking being one of it.

Francatelli, as a chef, is always looking for new flavours and combinations and he's delighted when Nancy, a dressmaker he then falls in love with, suggests adding something to enhance his already great work. And this love for novelty really reminds me of another character we all know...

This love for new things is also shown when he shows Nancy (yes, I will talk a lot about her, so what?) the ice they have in the palace and you can tell he's so happy that he can show her something unexpected and new (just as Hob was so passionate when telling Dream about all those changes he had witnessed in 1489)

In episode 1x06 of Victoria, Francatelli quite literally faces the indian plague in the London slums to go rescue Nancy's cousin and her baby and he puts them in a better accomodation. Now, his gesture alone makes him a brave man that we know Hob already is, but also it would make sense that Hob Gadling, a man who cannot die, would go in a place like that to help someone else (even if it is to impress the woman he loves)

Still in 1x06 of Victoria, after helping her, Francatelli asks Nancy for something in return, and what does he wants, I hear you ask? Her FUCKING NAME! When I tell you I screamed at that scene because a) OMG, THIS MAN IS THE MOST ADORABLE CUTIEPIE THAT I'VE EVER SEEN ON TELEVISION WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOT REAL??? b) obviously Hob Gadling, who's spent the last 400 years meeting with and crushing on a stranger who never revealed his name, would want to know first thing first the name of the person he's falling in love with!

In 1x07 of Victoria, Francatelli prepares a dinner date and a special dessert for Nancy (he literally creates it just for her!) and, apart from the fact that all that scene is just so. freaking. adorable!, all I could think of was Hob and the big feast he arranged to impress Dream in 1589. This man really read somewhere that "the quickest way to your crush's heart is through their stomach" and blindly believed it.

The fact that we know close to nothing about Francatelli's backstory lets my mind wonder... we just know that he worked his way to get where he is and that he comes from a lowly background, which could easily apply to Hob (quick reminder, I'm still in S1, so they might delve into Charles' backstory more in future seasons)

Also, very small detail, but Francatelli says at some point that "he never forgets a face" and, I don't know, I feel like Hob could have a good memory for people. Remembering those he met and lost along the way; friends, family, lovers and so on...

These are my main thoughts for now. I will add more as they come to me and as I watch more seasons (I've already spoiled myself quite a bit of the third season and GOD!, there are some good and painful parallel right there!)

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed my ramblings! :D

#hob gadling #charles francatelli #the sandman #victoria #the sandman netflix #dreamling #nancy skerrett #dream of the endless #morpheus #hob x morpheus #centennial husbands #ferdinand kingsley

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nerdzzone · 2 years

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Back To You

Summary: Madeline Daniels broke Chris Evans’ heart. Doing so broke her own heart as well, but dating a celebrity is hard and Madeline had reached a point where she just couldn’t handle it. However, when tragedy strikes and Madeline’s life crumbles down around her, she starts to see things differently. Will a chance meeting - or a possible set up - have the couple coming back together or was the damage done too severe to be repaired?

Part Four of six

(part three)

-----

When Madeline woke up the morning after the party there was a brief period of time when the only thing she was aware of was the throbbing in her head. At first, she was filled with regret and misery as she wished she’d been more restrained with her drinking, but as the fog started to fade and the memories of the end of the night began to return, Madeline started wishing she had another drink handy to help send her back into blissful obliviousness.

She tried to wrap her head around all the emotions she felt as she thought over the events of the day before, but it was far too complex for her poor weary brain to cope with and she simply settled on the fact that the two feelings hovering closest to the surface was a strange combination of humiliation and hope.

Their conversation had gone far better than she could have imagined - especially considering it was unplanned and neither of them really had any time to gather their thoughts - and while there were some tense moments, she felt like she’d been able to explain herself fairly articulately. His little confession just before they returned to the party was a welcome surprise that, combined with the way he’d welcomed her back into his group of friends, had her feeling optimistic about what the future might hold for them.

But then there was the kiss.

And when she thought about that, the embarrassment burned so deeply that she was tempted to sneak out of the house without a word to anyone and disappear back to New York again. She felt stupid and foolish for letting herself get so carried away when things were so precarious between them. She broke his heart, didn’t speak to him for three years and then after one unfinished conversation attempted to seduce him in his mother’s bathroom. The immaturity of it all had her cringing into her pillow and wishing it was all just a dream.

She would have sacrificed the hope their conversation had given her in a heartbeat if it meant getting rid of the humiliation that she felt, but as she tightly squeezed her eyes and willed all her problems to disappear, the sound of the front door slamming below her window jarred her back to reality. Curiosity getting the better of her, she peeked out of the window just in time to see Chris trudging down the driveway with his dog.

The sight of him was a harsh reminder of her current woeful situation, but she felt a hint of relief that he had left the house, even if it was just to take his dog for a walk. She needed time to gather herself - time to shake off her hangover enough to put on a brave face - and she needed to rehydrate and get some food in her stomach before she could even contemplate seeing Chris and dealing with the fallout of their actions.

Assuming from the much slower pace that Chris has been walking that he was feeling just as rough as she was and might not be gone too long, Madeline mustered up the strength to drag herself out of bed and head downstairs, hoping that she would have enough time to at least have a cup of coffee before he returned. She followed the refreshing smells of breakfast down the stairs until she found Lisa in the kitchen.

“Happy birthday!”

It came out as more of a croak than a cheer and she cringed at the fact that her hangover had hindered the enthusiasm of her greeting.

“Thank you,” Lisa smiled, turning away from the frying pan she had on top of the oven to accept the hug Madeline came over to give her. “How are you feeling this morning?”

Madeline leaned against the counter and winced.

“Rough,” she admitted. “And incredibly jealous of how perky and awake you seem.”

Lisa chuckled and nodded knowingly.

“The trick is to only have a few drinks then switch to water…and avoid beer pong at all costs.”

“I forgot about beer pong,” Madeline groaned. “I don’t know what we were thinking…”

Turning down the ring she was cooking on, Lisa glanced over at Madeline with a somewhat sheepish look on her face.

“Well, could it be possible that you were feeling a little emotional and doing a bit of self-medicating?”

“What?”

The question was blurted out in a panic as Madeline’s mind raced to dissect all the things that Lisa could be referring to, hoping desperately that Chris hadn’t already filled her in on the conversation that they had while they were trapped.

“I just heard that you’d had a bit of a rough time at the start of the party and that you were missing your parents.”

Despite the relief that she felt, a frown slid onto her face.

“Who told you?”

“Chris.”

“He shouldn’t have bothered you with that,” Madeline sighed. “I had a moment of weakness, but I was okay.”

“In his defense, it was between flip cup and beer pong so he was a little past tipsy by then,” she admitted with a smile. “But he was just worried that perhaps your mom’s absence was hard on me as well and wanted to check in, it was quite sweet really.”

Her explanation had a wave of guilt hitting Madeline as she realized she hadn’t even thought about how Lisa might have been affected.

“I’m sorry, it must have been hard for you too. Were you okay?”

“It was difficult,” Lisa admitted. “I missed her and it was hard not to keep looking at the door, expecting to see her, but I tried to focus on how much she would have wanted me to have fun.”

“That’s true,” Madeline smiled, feeling the ache in her chest return - the one that she’d felt the night before as she’d been having the same thoughts as Lisa. “They both loved a party.”

“They sure did.”

Lisa chuckled as she turned her attention back to the food she was cooking and scraped some scrambled eggs onto a plate with toast before handing it to Madeline. She thanked her and quickly dug in, knowing that her stomach needed the greasy bacon and scrambled eggs, but after a few bites another thought hit her.

“You shouldn’t have had to cook this morning! I’m so sorry, Chris and I should have done it for you.”

“Well, I wasn’t convinced either of you would be awake before noon,” she teased. “And if I’m recalling correctly, the last time you and Chris tried to make breakfast in my house, you almost burned it down.”

At first, Madeline’s eyebrows wrinkled together in confusion until she realized what Lisa was referring to and laughed at the memory. It was the summer that she’d turned twenty-one and they’d all happened to be visiting home at the same time. A party had ensued that led to horrific hangovers for all three of them and in their weary states the following morning, they had started a fire while trying to cook.

“I don’t even remember exactly what happened,” Madeline giggled. “But I do remember that Scott was more to blame than anyone so me and Chris should still be trusted.”

Lisa laughed, but shook her head as she plated up some food for herself.

“That’s a risk I’d rather not take.”

Madeline playfully rolled her eyes, but as Lisa sat at the table with her she tried to subtly segue the conversation.

“Where is Chris?” She tried to keep her voice as natural as possible. “I saw him leave this morning.”

“He went home,” Lisa informed her. “He left his car at Carly’s so he walked back over there.”

“Oh…”

Madeline could hear the disappointment in her voice and see the intrigue on Lisa’s face, but she didn’t have the energy to mask her feelings. It wasn’t like Chris to get up early the morning after a party and for him to have been so eager to get home - especially on his mother’s birthday - Madeline couldn’t help, but wonder if she was to blame. If what happened between them at the end of the night had upset him that badly then she worried that she really had ruined any chance of fixing things between them and she was struck by just how anxious that thought made her. It was ironic, considering she’d been the one to walk away without much explanation before, but she wasn’t ready to face the karma if that’s what it was.

“Are you okay?” Lisa asked, pulling Madeline from her thoughts. “You look worried.”

“I’m fine,” she insisted. “Chris and I had some things to talk about so I guess I just assumed I’d drive him home later, but if he has his car then that makes sense.”

She’d hoped to come off as nonchalant, but Lisa was a very astute woman and nothing got by her.

“He’s not trying to avoid you,” she assured her, making Madeline’s cheeks heat up. “He did mention that you were supposed to be meeting up later, he said to tell you that he’d call you when he got home.”

Madeline’s relief was clear as a soft smile slid onto her face.

“I should’ve known that he’d fill you in.”

“That’s all he told me,” she claimed. “But I’m really glad that you two are talking.”

“Me too,” Madeline nodded. “It’s long overdue.”

Lisa agreed, but let the subject drop while they finished breakfast.

Once they were done eating, Madeline took care of the dishes before excusing herself. Knowing that the conversation she would be having with Chris was rather important, she knew she needed to get her thoughts together and figure out what she wanted to accomplish. However, as she took a shower in an attempt to wash off the remains of her hangover, she was surprised by the idea that seemed to be the center of all her thoughts.

She wanted to fix their relationship and get back together.

After she’d left him all those years before, there had been plenty of times when she almost crumbled and ran back to try and make things right. The first few months were a tortuous battle of will power and once she started dating, it seemed like every date - or fling, if it lasted that long - was just more evidence that she’d made the wrong choice. She’d known in her heart for a long time that Chris was the person she was meant to be with, but she’d always been fairly confident that she’d ruined her chances with him forever. His complete lack of response to her leaving the way she did told her that her actions were unforgivable and she’d resigned herself to a life of loneliness or mediocre relationships.

Instead, considering it was the reason that she’d left Chris in the first place, she’d thrown herself into her career. She’d accomplished incredible things and acquired roles that she’d only ever dreamed of, all while finally succeeding in being recognized for her efforts in her own right instead of being overshadowed by her relationship. However, there was always a slight feeling of emptiness. Like something was missing. And that feeling only became more pronounced when her parents died. The realization that her family was gone - and navigating that pain without the support of a family of her own - had her beginning to understand that she may have had her priorities wrong.

It really hit her during that time that she’d made a mistake by running away from their relationship, but fixing it seemed like far too daunting of a task to undertake in such a fragile emotional state.

But then Chris made that little confession.

He’d admitted that there were times - even recently - that he still wanted her back.

And that spark of hope was just what she needed.

She knew that it wouldn’t be easy and there was an incredibly high chance that she was about to get rejected more harshly than she’d ever been in her life, but as Madeline got in the car that afternoon to drive to Chris’ house, she was ready to lay it all out on the table and let him know how she really felt.

The nerves Madeline felt walking towards his door were far worse than they’d been when she came to apologize. She knew that was somewhat irrational considering they were on far better terms now than they’d been a few days earlier, but it felt like it was a real make or break moment for them. She was pretty sure that when she walked back to her car things between them would either be fixed or broken forever and the finality of that made her feel more nauseous than her hangover had.

She knocked on the door and was relieved when Chris answered quickly and didn’t give her time to run back to her car. Judging from his outfit of sweatpants and a tight t-shirt, Madeline figured it was safe to assume that he was struggling to fight off his hangover just as much as she was and hoped that their combined fragile states wouldn’t make having their much needed conversation at that time a mistake.

“Hey,” he greeted her, the smile on his face reassuring her slightly. “Thanks for coming.”

“Thank you for inviting me,” she said as she followed him inside before deciding to cut right to the chase. “I was worried when I heard that you left so early that maybe what happened last night might have changed your mind about us having this conversation...”

Chris cringed as he led her into the living room.

“I’m sorry about that,” he apologized as he sat on the same couch he’d been on a few days earlier when she came to apologize. Madeline followed suit and sat across from him. “I shouldn’t have started anything if I wasn’t gonna finish it.”

Madeline felt her cheeks heat up as she shook her head.

“No, you were right to stop it,” she assured him. “I shouldn’t have gotten so carried away.”

“That applies to both of us,” Chris smiled. “But I think it’s safe to say that neither of us were thinking as clearly as we should have been.”

Madeline agreed as she felt a wave of relief that he didn’t blame her entirely for what happened. There was a brief moment of silence as if neither of them really knew what to say next, but before the awkwardness that seemed to be hovering could really sink in, she tried to move the conversation along.

“So, you still want to talk? You’re not too hungover?”

“I’m feeling a little rougher than I’d ideally be for this conversation,” he admitted. “But I do have some questions if you’re up to answering them.”

“Definitely,” Madeline nodded. “But I don’t know what you’re hoping to get out of this conversation so I would like to preface it with the acknowledgement that I am a bit of a mess right now. Before anything else, I know I need to get myself back on track first.”

Chris raised a questioning eyebrow - clearly intrigued by her little preamble - but took a moment to mull over her words before posing a question.

“Okay, I get that, but what do you want to get out of this conversation?”

Madeline hesitated as she took a deep breath to steady herself, but she knew she had to be honest and - perhaps due to her still lingering hangover - she didn’t have the energy to dance around the issue.

“In an ideal world, I would like us to come out of this conversation with the intention of getting back together.”

The shock on Chris’ face at that admission had Madeline filling with nerves, but it was the scoff that followed that had her heart sinking.

“Until we argue and you leave again without saying a word, right?”

His words stung, but Madeline did her best to hold it together.

“Okay, that was a dig and while it may be completely justified, this won’t be productive if you’re just gonna dismiss everything I say,” she pointed out. “If you don’t feel the same way then that’s fine, but if you have a different goal for this conversation then I’d love to hear it.”

Chris sighed and stared at Madeline for a moment before he shrugged.

“I never wanted us to break up in the first place,” he reminded her. “I’ve tried to move on, I’ve tried to accept the way things are, but as I said yesterday, there are times when I still want you back.”

Sensing there was more he wanted to say, Madeline waited quietly until she couldn’t stand the silence any longer and prompted him to continue with a quiet, “But?”

“But, I guess I just don’t understand where your change of heart is coming from,” he admitted. “You disappeared for three years and now after one conversation you want to get back together? It just seems a little sudden.”

“Losing my parents has really put things in perspective for me,” Madeline explained. “Losing the two most important people in my life and knowing how completely alone I felt when I got that phone call has made me realize that I had my priorities all wrong. I’m so proud of what I accomplished in my career, but I do regret what I sacrificed to achieve it because family is the most important thing and I’m sorry that I didn’t see that when I left you.”

Even though her words seemed a tad rehearsed, Chris had to admit that she seemed sincere and the emotion in her voice helped him believe she was being genuine. She had suffered through a life changing loss and it was understandable that her pain might have helped her come to the realization that she’d made a mistake even if she still believed it had been the right thing to do at the time.

He felt a swell of joy in his heart at the thought of what her confession could mean for their relationship, but he tried not to let it distract him as he knew that they still had some important things to discuss and he had some questions that still needed answering.

“But if that’s the reason,” he started, hoping it didn’t seem like he was interrogating her. “Why did you wait until now to try and fix things? If Scott hadn’t forced us together then we wouldn’t even be having this conversation, would we?”

“I didn’t think there was even the slightest chance that you’d forgive me,” she shrugged. “And with everything else I’m going through right now, I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle the rejection if I reached out and you turned me down.”

“That’s fair,” Chris accepted her explanation. “But how do I know you won’t disappear on me again? That’s not a dig, it’s a pretty reasonable concern considering what happened before.”

“I didn’t really mean to disappear the first time,” Madeline admitted. “I left the day before you got home from filming and I really thought you’d call me right away.”

“But when I didn’t call? Why didn’t you reach out to me?”

“I thought that you either didn’t care or were so angry that you wouldn’t want me to call you,” she insisted before giving him a sheepish look. “And selfishly, I think I was partly just glad that I wouldn’t have to hear the disappointment in your voice when I explained my reasons for leaving because I knew that we wouldn’t be able to come back from that, I know you wouldn’t have taken it well.”

“That’s the other thing I wanted to address,” Chris sighed, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes. “I wanna know what I did that made you think I wouldn’t have supported you if you’d talked to me.”

Madeline’s eyes widened in surprise as if he’d finally asked a question that she hadn’t been prepared for. She hesitated for a moment as she thought it over, but when she answered him her voice was softer and less confident than it had been before and did nothing to clear up Chris’ confusion.

“You were just so clear about what you wanted…”

“But why did you think that I would put what I wanted above what you wanted and refuse to be flexible?”

The way she chewed on her bottom lip and looked at the floor told Chris that she was fighting back tears and he could hear it in her voice when she spoke again.

“I think I made assumptions based on how everything else made me feel,” she whispered before clearing her throat and trying to hide the strain in her voice. “I felt so overshadowed by you because of everything in the media so when you started talking about marriage and starting a family, I got resentful because I thought you were being dismissive about my career too.”

Chris felt a wave of irritation as he took in her explanation. A simple conversation would have allowed him to dispel any of the assumptions she’d made if she’d just shared how anxious she’d been about losing her independence and knowing that they’d lost so much time because she hadn’t been brave enough to talk to him was endlessly frustrating for him. However, the sniffle that followed her admission and the tear he saw fall down onto her knee helped to dampen his rising emotions and tugged at his heartstrings.

“Maddie…” His voice was soft as he tried to get her attention, but when she didn’t meet his eye he tried again, a little bit firmer. “Madeline. C’mon, come over here.”

The request caught her attention and she looked up to see him patting the couch next to him. She hesitated for a moment as if she wanted to argue and keep the distance between them, but when he threw in a gentle ‘please’, she couldn’t resist the comfort he was offering. As soon as she sat down beside him, he slid his arm around her waist and pulled her against his shoulder and the familiar action had her losing the little restraint she had over her tears as they began to quickly roll down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, her words muffled by his shirt. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t strong enough to be with you and focus on my own goals as well. You didn’t deserve to be deserted after five years together.”

Her apology was heartfelt and, again, he believed that she was being sincere, but while he knew that she was already upset and he didn’t want to make it worse, his own pain had him pointing out a slight inconsistency in her words.

“It wasn’t just five years,” he said softly. “I don’t think we went more than a week without talkin’ to each other since you learned how to talk and then all of a sudden you were just gone completely without even saying goodbye...”

“I know,” she choked out. “It was awful and I don’t know how to fix it.”

Her words hung in the air as Chris silently rubbed her back and mulled over everything that he’d learnt about their break up in the last few days, but as he could feel her tears soaking through his shirt, he quietly put her out of her misery.

“We can,” he assured her. “I think we can.”

“What?”

Madeline pulled back enough to look him in the eye, the shock from what he’d said stemming the flow of her tears.

“I think we can fix it.”

There was a quiet confidence in his words, but Madeline’s lip quivered as if she wasn’t willing to let herself get her hopes up too quickly.

“Is that what you want?”

“Yeah,” Chris nodded. “It's gonna take some work, but I want us to fix this as much as you do.”

“From how you reacted to what I said, I thought you weren’t interested.”

“I am,” he insisted. “But we’ve gotta talk it all out first.”

“Definitely,” Madeline wiped her eyes. “I agree.”

Chris shifted, reaching down to pull Madeline’s legs up so they were draped over his lap. The new position allowed him to lean forward to pluck a Kleenex out of the box on the coffee table before passing it to Madeline. She dabbed at her eyes and Chris waited for her to gather herself before he spoke again.

“I’ll admit that I didn’t think about how starting a family would affect your life as a ballerina,” he started. “But I always supported you and it sucks that you thought I’d suddenly stop when it got inconvenient.”

“I know, I should have trusted you,” Madeline acknowledged. “But I still think that at the time you wouldn’t have taken it well. You would have been upset and disappointed, it wouldn’t have been as easy as you’re making it seem.”

“Maybe not,” Chris shrugged. “But lots of things in life won’t be easy, are you gonna run away every time?”

Realizing she’d set herself up for that question, Madeline shook her head.

“No, definitely not. I’ve learned my lesson, it’s better to stay and work through things, or at least try to.”

“But what about things we have no control over?” Chris continued his questioning. “Like people on the internet. They’re still just as nasty as ever, but as much as I hate it, there really isn’t much I can do about it.”

“I’m not worried about that,” Madeline shrugged. “They can’t attack a career that I no longer have, right?”

“They didn’t just attack your career,” he pointed out. “They said a lot of mean things about you.”

“That’s true, but it didn’t really bother me until they started coming to the theatre and writing horrible things about the whole company. That’s when I really felt like they crossed a line.”

“There will always be a line to cross and they’ll find it.”

“I know and I know it’ll be hard, but I think I can handle it,” Madeline assured him as a thought hit her. “Did you tell everyone what happened?”

“Like in some kinda public statement?” He waited for Madeline to nod before he answered. “No, I didn’t, but I think you got the blame. You probably would’ve even if I was the one who left though, that’s just how these things go.”

“I figured,” Madeline rolled her eyes. “But if you didn’t publicly shame me then they might be a little less unforgiving if we get back together.”

“That’s optimistic,” Chris smirked. “But I would never publicly shame you, that’s not my style.”

“Well, I appreciate that.”

Madeline reached out to take hold of his hand that was absentmindedly stroking her knee and a silence settled between them until Chris brought up a slightly different subject.

“Are you really gonna retire from dancing?”

“I think so,” Madeline nodded. “I haven’t made any official decisions yet, but it would take more energy than I can muster to get back to the level I used to be at anytime soon.”

“And you’re okay with that?” He questioned. “I can’t imagine a world where Madeline Daniels stops dancing.”

The drama in his voice had a smile sliding onto Madeline’s face.

“I won’t stop dancing completely. I want to get back into training and as I said, I’ll probably end up teaching so there will still be plenty of dance in my life.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Chris matched her smile. “You’re so talented, it would be a shame if you gave it up completely.”

“I could never, I still love it too much,” she assured him. “But my priorities really have changed. I’m grateful that I was able to live my dreams, but I’m ready to shift my focus to other things.”

“Things like what?”

“Things like fixing old mistakes.”

Madeline flashed him an innocent look and Chris chuckled as he bit back a smirk.

“Well, beggin’ for my forgiveness will probably be a full time job so that will keep you busy.”

His cocky teasing pulled a scoff of laughter from Madeline’s lips.

“You wish.”

Her words were met with a sharp pinch to her ribs from his hand that still sat on her waist. It was just the right spot to have her squealing and wriggling away from him until she was leaning back against the opposite arm of the couch to where he was sitting while his laughter at her reaction had a pout sliding onto her face.

“Chris,” she scolded. “You know I hate being tickled.”

“I know, I know,” he assured her as his laughter died down to a chuckle. “I just had to see if that spot was the same.”

“Of course it’s the same, it’s been the same since I was two,” Madeline huffed. “And I’ve always hated it.”

“I’m sorry,” Chris drawled, despite the smile on his face that didn’t seem particularly apologetic. “C’mon, come back over here.”

Madeline shot him a steady - but somewhat playful - glare for a moment longer before somewhat reluctantly moving back. Once she was close enough, Chris put his arm back around her waist and pulled her in until she was curled up by his side close enough for him to place a kiss on the top of her head.

“So,” Chris started, breaking the comfortable silence they’d fallen into. “Where do we go from here?”

“To be honest, I didn’t expect you to agree with me,” Madeline admitted. “I thought we’d have a big argument and go our separate ways forever so I don’t really know.”

Chris shook his head and sighed, but the smile on his face betrayed his amusement.

“There you go, expectin’ the worst from me again.”

“Well, it’s what I would have deserved,” she pointed out. “And at least I faced the music this time and didn’t run away.”

Chris squeezed her closer as if just the thought of her running away again had him nervous.

“That’s true, thank you.”

“But I do need some time,” Madeline told him, circling back to his original question. “I need to go back to New York and get myself together.”

“And you don’t want us to be together while you do that?”

“I think it’s best if we’re not,” she nodded, watching him for a reaction. “I need to do it by myself and I’m worried that if we got back together now then I’d use our relationship as a crutch instead of motivation, you know? I need to get happy and stable outside of our relationship first so I can’t use the happiness that you help me find to avoid facing my problems.”

“That’s very logical,” Chris agreed. “But can I tell you why it makes me nervous?”

Madeline frowned as his nerves immediately put her on edge, but she nodded eagerly.

“Of course.”

“It makes me a little nervous that once you get home and get yourself back to a good place you’ll realized that you made the right choice when you left me and you’ll change your mind again,” he admitted, pausing for a moment before he rushed to add, “Not that I want to take advantage of what you’re going through and convince you that we should get back together if you’re not ready, but I guess it makes me nervous that I’ll spend the next few months waiting for you just to get my heart broken again.”

He could tell from her face that his doubts had stung, but she only let it show for a brief moment as they both knew that he had good reason not to trust her.

“Well, all I can do is promise you that won’t happen, but I know that a promise from me might not mean that much to you after what I did,” she acknowledged. “But I want to be with you. That’s not what I want time to figure out. I just need to make sure you’re not the only source of happiness in my life which - if I’m being honest - you would be right now.”

The sincerity in her voice did ease some of Chris’ concern and he knew that moving forward with Madeline would take a leap of faith at some point. He also knew that - as hard as it would be to wait for the security that a committed relationship gave them - she was right about needing to make that commitment while she was in a healthy mindset or they’d just end up back where they were three years ago.

“That’s a very mature way to handle it,” Chris commended her before flashing her a smile. “But just keep in mind how much I hate bein’ patient.”

“I think you’ll survive,” Madeline teased. “Besides, you should take some time to figure out if you really want us to try again too.”

Chris was taken aback by that suggestion and it was written all over his face as he voiced his protest.

“I never wanted us to stop tryin’ in the first place.”

“I know that, but after everything that’s happened, you should take some time to think about if you can really get past it,” she pointed out. “And that’s not me telling you to get over how I hurt you or anything like that, but if we get back together I don’t want you to be riddled with anxiety that I’ll leave again every time we have an issue.”

“That’s a fair point,” Chris agreed. “But I think it’ll be okay. To be honest, after our conversations and hearin’ all your reasons, I’m starting to see my part in things.”

Considering how she’d thought their conversations had gone and how she thought she’d done a good job of owning up to her mistakes, that admission surprised Madeline.

“Really?” She questioned. “How so?”

“I just think that I must’ve been fucking up somehow to get you thinking that running away was easier than talkin’ to me.”

Madeline stared at him for a moment before she let out a dramatic groan and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Oh no, did I give you Stockholm Syndrome?”

She felt Chris’ shoulders shake as he chuckled.

“What?”

“You know, that thing where the person in the wrong manages to win the sympathy of their victim,” she explained. “Did I do that to you?”

“No,” Chris rolled his eyes with a smile. “But there’s no one victim in our situation. You were hurting, I didn’t see it and kept pushing you. I should have been paying more attention.”

“But I still shouldn’t have left the way I did.”

“No, you shouldn’t have, but my point is that maybe we both have mistakes to learn from.”

“That’s true,” Madeline agreed before shooting him a somewhat nervous look. “But if you’re worried about waiting for me then you don’t have to. I understand if you want to keep seeing other people.”

“Are you planning on doing that?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Then I won’t either,” Chris assured her. “I can wait until you’re ready.”

“Okay,” Madeline nodded as she thought of another suggestion. “We could, like, kinda date?”

Chris smiled at her somewhat timid proposition.

“Date?”

“Yeah, we can get to know each other again. Something that’s exclusive, but casual until I’m in a better place,” she explained. “You can visit New York and I can try to come back here more often.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” Chris nodded in agreement, pausing for a moment before lifting his hand to cup her cheek. “And if we’re technically dating, does that mean I can do this?”

He leaned in slowly - giving her enough time to catch onto his intention and rebuff him if she wanted to - until his lips were pressed against hers once again. The way she melted into the embrace was enough of an answer to have Chris satisfied, but when he felt her lips twitch into a smile against his there was a brief moment where he thought his heart might explode from the happiness he was feeling.

“Hmm,” she mused as she pulled away. “I think that should be allowed.”

“Good.”

Chris pecked at her lips again before letting out a happy sigh.

“I think we should maybe keep it at just that though,” she tentatively suggested. “I think we should take it slow.”

A wince of disappointment crossed Chris’ face, but he nodded his head.

“Okay, that’s fair.”

“I just want us to get it right this time,” she assured him. “I don’t want to rush and mess it up.”

“Me too.”

Chris smiled before leaning down to capture her lips again. Once he pulled away, he nuzzled gently into her hair as a comfortable silence settled between them until Madeline broke it with a yawn.

“I’m so tired,” she whined. “Do we have time for a nap before your mom’s dinner tonight?”

Chris lifted his arm to glance at his watch.

“Unfortunately, probably not,” he informed her, smiling as a pout slid onto her face. “I told her that I’d go early and help get things ready to make up for leaving so early this morning.”

That admission pulled a laugh from Madeline as she rolled her eyes.

“I think your mom and Scott might be working together because she asked me when I left if I would come back early to help her too.”

“Wow,” Chris chuckled. “Well, are we gonna tell them?”

“Would it be too confusing? Since we’re kinda together, but not?”

“I think they’ll understand,” he smiled. “But we can keep it under wraps for now if that’s what you’d prefer.”

“I don’t mind,” she shrugged. “I don’t want to pretend things are still strained between us.”

“Me neither,” he agreed. “So why don’t we just see how it goes? We can be friendly and then if anyone asks any questions, we can tell them the truth.”

Madeline agreed and sealed the deal with one last kiss before they decided it was probably time for them to head back to Chris’ mom’s place if they were hoping to help her get things organized.

And, as they easily could have predicted, it took less than half an hour of Chris and Madeline’s shift in behaviour to earn a question from Scott.

Madeline could barely hold back her grin as Chris explained their plan - much to the delight of his family - and as he shifted the conversation into a toast to his mother, Madeline felt a feeling of contentedness that she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

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