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#she literally was just in love and it finally gave her eternal existence some meaning after millenia of despair and nothingness
jasmancer · 4 months
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sometimes I'll think abt rem from death note too hard and make myself sad
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h-worksrambles · 2 years
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Funny to think about how, in multiple Final Fantasy games, it’s become a recurring theme to discuss ideas of mortality, and how life is precious because of the fact it doesn’t last forever.
Multiple villains tie into this theme in one way or another. Garland perpetuates himself through a time paradox. Xande, likewise, seeks to escape his death. That same fear of death is taken even further by Kuja, who attempts to cope with his fear of death by attempting to destroy the world so it can’t exist without him. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the curse of immortality comes up in multiple villains, specifically Ardyn, Ultimecia and Yu Yevon. How maddening eternal life as a concept would be and how it can make one lose perspective on the mortals they inflict suffering on. Kefka’s whole motivation is his inability to understand the point of anything when none of it last forever. If destruction is the end point of everything then he finds fulfillment in speeding up the process so to speak.
And it’s not just in the villains. Think about how often this idea that ‘life is short, but it’s worth it’, repeatedly comes up in the games. In VI, not only do all the characters oppose Kefka’s nihilism as a group but Terra specifically witnesses the end of the age of magic as the Espers fade away, and instead chooses a normal, mortal life with her new family. VII’s story has major themes of dealing with grief and accepting death as a part of life, most notably through Aerith’s character. Furthermore, the Lifestream is one huge symbol of the cycle of both life and death. That same cycle is so crucial that it end up literally saving the world. IX explores this through Vivi and Kuja, both of whom are doomed to a premature death, and whose reflections on their mortality go in wildly different directions.
X is almost entirely about a world where the rules of life and death have been thrown out of balance. Characters across Spira remain as unsent ghosts to perpetuate a status quo in this static world, because they fear both the end of their own life, and the potential end of their world. Spira is stagnant, precisely because of these clinging onto existence. All because of a single being grasping on to eternal life by any means necessary. Conversely Yuna, goes willingly on a journey she knows will result in her death, and like Vivi, ruminates on what to do with her life, and who to spend it with on her pilgrimage, in what little time she has. The game even ends with Tidus accepting his own transient existence, sacrificing himself to give the world, and his new friends, a future. In XV, Noctis also ends up sacrificing himself for his friends, to give them a full life in th world he saved. They all choose to sacrifice themselves because their time with the people they loved mattered, however brief.
This isn’t even a comprehensive overview as I haven’t played every game (I’m pretty sure XIV explores this theme too but I’m not caught up). And sure, this is a message as old as time. But it’s interesting just how often it resurfaces in this one franchise. Life and death are both natural facets that give each other meaning. Life has a point both despite, and because of, it’s brevity, so either seeking to prolong life forever, or bring the end too swiftly (because hey, we’ll all die anyway so who cares?), is missing the point. What matters is making that time worthwhile. And for some, the answer to that is to spend it with the people who matter. This is why so many of these characters sacrifice themselves for their friends. Because those people were the ones who gave their life, however brief, meaning. Across so many of these games you get this interplay between the meaning of life, the inevitably of death, and that the former two say about the purpose of self sacrifice.
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lubdubsworld · 3 years
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Insatiable. ( Jungkook x OC)
Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x OC
Rating 18+
Genre : Vampire Au!!!! , DILF! Jungkook ! Bodyguard AU! Babysitter OC!   Age difference!!! [ bet you’ve never seen all of this in one fic before? ] 
[ Some notes : Born Vampires stop aging when they turn twenty five.  Turned vampires stop aging when they’re turned. ]
Summary : 
21 year old Hwang Sera is sick of being the only human in an entire clan of vampires. As an immortal human from one of the oldest bloodlines, she is a catch. The Vampire she marries would essentially be indestructible. 
Which makes her an easy target for greedy vampires everywhere. 
Determined to keep his precious daughter safe, her father hires an old friend , Jeon Jungkook as her full time bodyguard. 
Jungkook is 35 years old ( well technically 576 years old )  , father to an adorable five year old kid and he has zero tolerance for Sera and her teenage shenanigans. But , he needs the money and he knows his son would be safe in the  Hwang clan’s massive mansion.  
And suddenly, after years of despising vampires, all Sera can think about is getting into the gorgeous vampire’s bed and maybe into his heart. 
Chapter 1
“He’s so hot.” My sister sighed for the seventeenth time and I glared at her.
“He’s mine. Back the fuck off.” I bared my non existent fangs at her and she retaliated by showing off her own inch long fangs, eyes flashing ruby red in the confines of our huge sprawling bedroom. 
The man in question, my sparkling new bodyguard wasn’t here now. He was downstairs at the party, being introduced to the others as the latest addition to our clan.
My mouth watered when I remembered his gorgeous, handsome face. And that body , God. 
Sculpted by some higher being who wanted to show off, for sure. 
I had never given much thought to losing my virginity. It certainly wasn’t by design that I hadn’t had sex yet but looking at Jeon Jungkook in a fitted black suit, midnight black hair falling into his lovely red eyes and those delicious muscles.....
I kind of believed in fate now. 
This was why I’d always been repulsed by the vampires who courted me. 
Because Jeon Jungkook had been out there, waiting for me. 
And now fate had brought him here and he was going to be mine. 
I stumbled over a stray bra, nearly face planting onto the floor . 
 God, i hated how messy Somi was but I was also eternally grateful that she had skipped out on the party tonight, volunteering to help me with the kids. 
I ran a daycare in one of the larger cottages in the estate, keeping the little fanged devils in check while the parents went about their daily lives. On nights like this, when my father hosted guests from every clan in the country for one of his lavish parties, there was always a whole bunch of bite-happy toddlers in need of supervision. 
Enter me.
 I loved babies. I’d always loved them. They were adorable. And after three years of school , I was finally, officially qualified in caring for them. 
Oh and by the way did i tell you that Jungkook had a son? Jeon Joowon was possibly the cutest five year old I’d ever seen and yes I was a little biased but that was okay. I was going to be the kids step mom , after all. 
Listen, don’t look at me like that, I just really want to be with Jungkook okay?
I tripped over the same bra when turning back around and I swore.
Focus, Sera. You can day dream about hot vampire daddy later.
“ Why do you have to throw your shit all over the place like this? “ I whined, grabbing the offensive piece of fabric and tossing it at her. She caught is so fast I  went a little cross eyed. My sister never missed an opportunity to show off her super-saiyan, vampire powers. That made her a crowd favorite with the toddlers and younglings . 
“I still don’t think your choice of a career is smart. These fanged little beasts are impossible to control... ” She commented mildly, watching me stuff two whole cartons of baby wipes into the huge backpack I had propped against the bed. I’d forgotten to restock the day care with wet wipes and it was sheer luck that I had a pair of them lying around my room.
The very idea of entering a room full of babies and toddlers without baby wipes, made me shudder. 
“Listen, they’re absolute angels when you listen to what they’re saying. Just because babies can’t talk doesn’t mean they don’t have preferences. All you really need to do is find out what each kid likes and help them feel comfortable -”
“Please stop.” She rolled her eyes and I glared at her.
“I’m a little thirsty. Can i have a sip..” She said softly and I frowned.
“You haven’t drunk from me the entire day. Are you okay?” I held my wrist out.
She shrugged , grabbing my wrist and casually sinking her fangs into the vein . Pain bloomed, familiar and somehow comforting , replaced almost at once by the gentle numbing of her venom. She drank a little and pulled back soon after, linking the puncture wounds for good measure. I watched the skin knit itself together , whole and unmarred in no time. 
Perks of being immortal. 
The knock on the door made me jump. 
“Ms Hwang?” Jungkook’s soft, husky voice came floating through the door and I grinned, cheeks aching with how wide my smile was.
“You look like a maniac. Stop smiling.” My sister looked a little alarmed and I struggled to rearrange my features. Sticking my tongue out at her, I grabbed my sweatshirt, slipping it overhead quickly. I glanced at the mirror, grimacing a bit. 
Being with toddlers meant no make up or hair left free.... and so I had a messy top bun, and just lip gloss to look presentable. While the entire party teemed with gorgeous vampires in low cut gowns and blood red lips. 
Ugh. 
I grabbed the backpack and waved to Somi.
“Come as soon as you can alright?” I begged her and she waved me off.
I rushed to the door, throwing it open and smiling wide.
“Hi oppa.” I said cheerfully.
“I’m not your oppa.” Jungkook said automatically, barely glancing at me and instead reaching for the backpack. He directed me to the stairwell on the side, the one that led straight down to the ground floor and out into the gardens. He went in first and  I followed him,  climbing down carefully. 
I sighed, taking in the mouth watering width of his shoulders, encased in a perfectly fitted jacket. He looked so handsome I wanted to cry. And although he’d been here for a whole week month now, I hadn’t managed to get into his good graces. 
“What do I call you, then?” I made to hold his hand when we reached the end of the staircase  but he shook my arm off at once.
Did I tell you that he really can’t stand me for some reason? 
“As I’ve  mentioned a dozen times already, Mr. Jeon would suffice.” He said shortly. He held the door leading out into the gardens open and I walked through. 
“That makes you seem so old.” I grimaced, shaking my head and he gave me an amused look.
“I am 576 years old.” He deadpanned. The daycare cottage was just a five minute walk from the mansion and the pathway through the garden was absolutely beautiful, well lit and covered in the brightest flowers. 
I waved off his excuse about his age. 
“you don’t look a day over twenty five to me.” I said with a shrug. He shook his head, clearly too tired to carry the conversation on. We walked in silence and I felt incredibly content, just with him near.
 And he was going to be by my side for the rest of our lives, I thought softly. I would make sure of it. I’d never felt this way about anyone. Jungkook was a good man , evident in literally everything he did. He was kind, an amazing father and such a gentleman that he made me melt. 
Jungkook had been turned at the age of 35. And so he sailed through eternity with the gorgeous good looks of a mature , well kept man. His hair was thick, just a slight bit of grey peppering the edges and his features were sharp and well defined. 
“Is Joowon in the daycare already?” I asked with a smile and he nodded curtly. 
“He has Mr. Pepper with him. He refused to leave him behind. please just make sure he still has him with him when he leaves. He can’t fall asleep without the bunny “ He said softly and I felt my heart bloom ten sizes.
“Of course, I will -”
“Jungkook !!!” The shrill voice broke the stillness of the night like a hammer through a mirror. 
I turned around with a frown only to be greeted by the sight of a very pretty, very tall vampire in a blood red bodycon dress and a neckline that plunged all the way to her belly button. She had ruby red lips, and well made eyes. Eyes that now flashed red , dilating as they ran up and down his body. 
I felt myself clenching my fists. 
“I’m getting late....we need to go, I grabbed his arm trying to tug him along but he didn’t budge. i glanced at his face and felt my heart shatter at the small smile playing around his lips.
“Helena..... Surprise seeing you here....” He drawled, voice so much deeper than usual and I bit my lips. They knew each other? 
The vampire had reached us now and she gave me a disdainful smile.
“Who’s this?” She asked with a laugh, “ Are you babysitting now, Jeon?”
I bristled. To my utter chagrin, Jungkook laughed to.
“She’s the kid I’m watching. The Immortal human  of the Hwang clan.” He intoned dully. 
The lady’s brows went up in surprise.
“:The rumors are true, ....The Hwang clan’s hidden jewel.....with skin like the rarest pearl and eyes that steal souls. Fiercely guarded ...a beauty like no other.... I thought they were exaggerating, but I see they were not. . You’re exquisite.” She commented , seemingly genuine in the compliment as her eyes roved over my features. 
“ Um.. thanks?” I shrugged, not particularly flattered by the extravagant description.  
The poets in my clan tended to be a bit overdramatic at times. 
. She laughed.
“Are you unavailable for the night, then Jeon?” She turned her flashing eyes on him .
My jaw nearly dropped.
Did this bitch really just proposition-
“Afraid so.... Raincheck?” Jungkook smiled wide and he looked so beautiful that I had to bit my lips to stop from moaning. 
Helena waved softly, eyes shifting back to me.
“Be safe, little human. When the sun goes down, the ghouls come out to play.” She grinned wide, letting her fangs grow long, past her lower lip, eyes red and bloody. 
I stared right back. She laughed and waved before floating away into the night. 
Jungkook chuckled. 
“You’re not intimidated by us, then.” He said mildly as we began walking again.
“I spent the entirety of my childhood playing with vampires. Do you really think they didn’t spend every waking hour trying to scare me to death?” 
He gave me soft smile, and then went back to staring straight ahead. 
I relaxed when the familiar cottage came into view, the sound of laughing kids reaching me. 
I held my hand out for the backpack and Jungkook gave it to me.
“I’ll just check out the backyard and see if al the gates are secure and then I’ll be right outside the door, alright? Call out if you need me...” He said sharply 
“Will you come even if I call you oppa?” I bit my lips, grinning and he flicked my nose. 
“Behave.” He said shortly. I sighed.
“I’m not a kid, you know.” I said softly and he gave me a look.
“You are to me. Now get inside.” 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“There’s a monster behind the tree and I’m Hawkeye because I have the bow and arrow and Jieun is the princess.” Joowon said brightly, showing off the toy bow and arrow in his hand and I grinned, taking in his exquisite features. He looked strikingly like his father , except for the two adorable dimples that showed up everytime he smiled.
“That’s amazing... do you like fighting monsters?” I asked with a grin holding my arms out for him and he hugged me happily.
“Yes, I like fighting monsters and I like Mr. Pepper.” He waved the stuffed bunny in my face. 
“Make sure you keep him safe, alright? “ I stroked the soft skin of the 
“So what color does your daddy like?” I asked with a grin. I felt a sharp kick on my shin and I turned to my sister. 
“Don’t use the fucking kid for your sinful aims, you dingbat!” She hissed and I glared at her. 
“I did no such thing...I was just making conversation....” I hissed back.
“Dad likes black.” Joowon answered dutifully and I ruffled his hair. Jieun appeared then, having waited for her prince and gotten bored. She tugged on Joowon’s arm and I let him go, watching the two of them run off. 
“Its only been a month, Sera.... I think you should tone down the infatuation. You know dad would never approve.” My sister said gently and I frowned.
“No he won’t, Dad loves me , he wants me to be happy.” I said shortly. 
“Yes, but not with Jungkook. He’s a rogue vampire. He doesn’t have a clan. He has a kid ...”
“An angel of a kid...”
“he has a kid whose mother he had to kill because she was a bloodthirsty witch.” 
i stared at my sister feeling anger build inside me.
“What does any of that have to do with how I feel about him?” I demanded , moving to stop one of the littles from tripping over a stray rubik’s cube. 
“ You’re special. You’re being courted by some of the richest, most powerful  vampires in the country and you want to go after the rogue , broke vampire who’s only here because he needs the money and the safety of our clan?” 
“I’m not having this conversation with you.” I said firmly.
Somi sighed.
“I’m just saying. Don’t be so blatantly open about your feelings. You’ll be putting a target on Jungkook’s back.” 
I exhaled sharply. 
“If anyone tries to hurt him, they die.” I said softly.
Somi chuckled.
“I know.... but still, he’s not looking for trouble. Don’t bring it to his doorstep.” 
I didn’t reply, moving quickly to the other side of the room. 
the words left a bitter taste on my tongue.
Mostly because my sister was right. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i stared at the tall strapping vampire, trying to comprehend what I was hearing.
“What do you mean he isn’t here for the night?” I demanded. 
“He’s a little tired. He told me had a little too much to drink and he wants to sleep it off. I’ll be here instead ... Just for tonight.” He tried to smile reassuringly and I was momentarily distracted by very deep dimples  but I could feel myself fuming. 
“and he didn’t think of saying that to me himself? He had to run off while i was closing up the cottage?” I glared. 
The Vampire chuckled. 
“He told me you might protest.”
“Of course i protest, I feel safer with him...” I said sharply.
The Vampire gave me a deep sigh.
“I’ve been doing this for three centuries, Miss Hwang. You’re definitely safe with me.” He bowed his head.
“What’s your name?” I demanded. 
“Kim Namjoon.” 
“Fine , Kim Namjoon ssi.... Let’s go. “ 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Giving Namjoon the slip was a lot easier than I thought. I waited for him to greet my great uncle, and slipped between two waiters carrying blood cocktails and weaved into the crowd easily. 
Jungkook’s bedroom was next to mine and it took me less than a minute to race up the stairs and to his room.
i banged on the door , determined to see for myself just how drunk he’d gotten. 
The door opened and i took a deep breath.
“How dare you leave me-” 
I froze when I realized that he was shirtless, fresh out of the shower. Water dripped down his torso , like little starbursts of liquid light and my mouth went dry. I swallowed, staring at the tightly packed abs, the dip of his v line as it disappeared into a fluffy white towel.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” He growled angrily.
My eyes flew to meet his and then my gaze caught something red on his bed and I peered over his shoulder.
Pain lanced through my heart so sharp that I felt like I’d taken a fucking brick to my chest. 
The sight of Helena, naked except for a red bra, stretched out on his bed got burned into my brain and I choked.
“You-” I began but he grabbed my arm, so hard that I knew I would bruise. He yanked me away from the threshold of his room, dragging me to the middle of the hallway as he slammed the door to his room shut.
“Where the fuck is Namjoon?”
“You ditched me to get laid? “ I hissed in disbelief.
“I can’t fucking believe you’re doing this-”
“Is she your girlfriend-”
“Sera-” he shook me again but I refused to back down. I had to know.
“Are you in love with her?!!!” I demanded, my heart breaking .
Jungkook growled.
“It’s none of your damned business!!” He snapped angrily .
“It is !!” I said shrilly.
“Why on earth-”
“Because I’m in love with you!!” I shouted and he froze. 
He let go of me like he’d been burned and stepped back, staring at me wide eyed,. 
“What did you just say?” He demanded.
“I want you. I want you to court me-”
“Sera stop.” He said sharply 
“I’m not joking...I like you and-”
“Shut up.” He growled, his voice shaking. 
I swallowed.
“If you say something as asinine as that to me , ever again... I  will  make you regret it. ” He warned softly.
I felt my heart jerk in panic.
“Jungkook-”
“It’s Mr. Jeon to you!!!” He growled. 
I bit my lips, staring at my feet.
“I’m going to pretend this never happened. You’re going to go to your room and wait for Namjoon. If anything like this ever happens again, I’m telling your father.” 
I laughed bitterly.
“I’m not fucking twelve years old you son of a bitch. Stop talking to me like I’m your toy or something !” I snarled.
“If you were my toy I would fucking spank you till you cry and lock you in a damn room!” He hissed. 
I flinched.
He took a deep shaky breath. 
“This never happened.” He said sharply. “ I’m not one of your boytoys. I have no interest in fledgling humans who know nothing about life. That's not the kind of woman I’m looking for. You’re not the kind of woman I’m looking for because you aren’t even a woman yet.” 
“ Jungkook !!!” Namjoon’s voice rang through the hallway and I stepped back. 
“Have a good night with your whore, Mr. Jeon.” I snapped, before turning on my heel and leaving. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s Note : Hot DILF! Vampire Jungkook is hot.  This brings back fond memories of me panting after my husband as a nineteen year old brat . I was a devilish teenager smitten with a twenty seven year old man. Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed :D
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bluebellss1 · 3 years
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[SPOILER WARNING FOR THE INVISIBLE LIFE OF ADDIE LARUE]
I really enjoyed the book and thought it was written very well, and I adored Luc and his dynamic with Addie. But I can’t help but be a little bit confused about why the author decided to end the book like that, especially since it’s supposed to be a stand-alone.
You’d think a satisfying end to Addie’s personal arc would be her at peace at being remembered, then taking Luc’s hand and disappearing with him into the night (or something along those lines). But instead, Addie informs us of her new vendetta against him and how she’s going to spend the rest of eternity trying to make him hate her so her soul goes free and the book ends RIGHT THERE. We’re not getting a sequel so why would you end the book with a curveball like that? That’s an entirely new plot-thread that was literally introduced on the last 2 pages.
She says that she’s going to prove that Luc is “incapable of love”, and then 2 sentences later she says that she’s going to “break his heart.” WHICH ONE IS IT, ADDIE? Those statements are contradictory as hell if she thinks he has no heart to break. I think the author made the ending for them unanswered and up-to-interpretation so that readers could interpret it however they wanted but idk, I was kind of rooting for them to find a sort of peace in each other as a couple which doesn’t seem to happen at the end of the book.
The book beats us over the head with the metaphor that Addie’s freckles are a ‘constellation of stars’ across her face. I’ve seen a lot of people complain that the recurring metaphor was meaningless and superficial, but while reading the book I realised that Luc is literal DARKNESS and the NIGHT. His true form is just a yawning, terrifying empty void of black. And Addie is constantly compared to stars and one artist painted a portrait of stars to represent her. This motif is supposed to mean that Addie is the constellation of stars that both foil and complete Luc’s empty, dark night, that she’s the one who brings light to his existence. How am I not supposed to ship Addie x Luc when the book drills the star motif into our heads like that! I refuse to believe that the man who represents the night sky and tells the woman who represents the stars that he loves her didn’t genuinely mean it.
My personal interpretation is that they’ll play some more cat-and-mouse games through the centuries but ultimately will come together one day. I do believe Luc loves Addie, though she believes he doesn’t love her because you have to be willing to let someone go if you love them. Luc’s love may not be pure and selfless, but I do believe it is love.
He’s a dark entity, a monster of the night that is thousands/millions of years old. His love is different and exists with him on a different scale of feeling than that of a normal human. He’s also likely horrifically starved and greedy for true affection. Addie is probably the only true companion he’s had in forever. Remember how angry and defensive he became when she claimed that they were alike and both lonely? And then decades later he concedes that she may have been right. It’s because he’s been in denial about being lonely for his entire existence, but Addie challenges him on that and has him realise that there may be something more to his existence than taking souls.
He tells her that he saw the elephant in Paris and how it reminded him of one of their earliest conversations. Seeing an elephant in Paris would be nothing to an immortal like him, but it shows that Addie has had an effect on him and his outlook in life, given some meaning to a mundane thing that he otherwise would not have cared about. Addie is living in his mind RENT-FREE at this point. Luc also shows compassion for her in many vital moments, like saving her from the war camp and from the streets during the revolution, later on even helping her with smaller things like escaping the ticket inspector.
These acts of kindness do not erase his bad deeds, but they do show him to be a morally grey character who has grown to care for Addie’s wellbeing and safety. It would have been in his best interests to let her get tortured so she’d give up her immortality earlier, but he still saved her. She’s the only being in the world who has seen his true form, she accepts him for who and what he is. She has seen him when he was cruel and when he was merciful, she gave him a name and a face that he has kept as his chosen form for 300 years (HE EVEN USED THAT FORM FOR HENRY’S DEAL!)
You can’t tell me Luc didn’t have any kind of special attachment or affection for Addie. The fact that he answers to the name she gave him, that he has chosen to wear the face of the imaginary lover that Addie carefully sketched and dreamed of over and over in her youth.
Addie accuses him of wearing the face of her imaginary lover because he is trying to manipulate and taunt her (which may have been true at the start), but that doesn’t explain why he would wear it to see Henry too, and the countless other humans he has probably dealt with in the past 300 years. It’s almost like he and Addie both gave and took from each other, that Addie gave him a name, face and human connection—that she took this old god, a void of darkness that swallows souls, and made it care for her enough to make it try to be a man for her.
I know it’s a stand-alone novel but I would love something along the lines of a short spin-off full of snapshots about Addie and Luc post-ending (like How The King of Elfhame Learned to Hate Stories). An epilogue of sorts to tie up loose ends and give us some closure, see what Addie and Luc end up as, to let us see Addie find her peace and be truly happy. I feel like the author tried so hard to make a statement that Addie is a strong independent woman who is still fighting that we didn’t actually get to see her be happy.
Her final moments of the book, where she should be feeling content and at peace about everyone knowing her story, and she should be shown getting ready to move on with her life and leave behind her fixation of being remembered. But it gets tainted by this sudden spike of revenge and malice that ends the story on a negative note and ends up feeling kind of sad tbh.....
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sageyrage · 3 years
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Warm Hug
Mentions & Implications: This is a Bakugou x Fem!Reader fic. This is part of the BNHAREM collab. This month is all about our favorite blasty boi, Bakugou! Also I hope all of this makes sense. I wrote this in many parts over the past few weeks and I'm eternally distracted. So while I normally spell check and grammar check everything, this fic did not receive any of that lol. No warnings really unless you count language because let’s face it, this is about Bakugou and according to fandom, he curses. But since this a fluff, I kept it to a minimum. Also, I really suck at fluff, so if you actually like this, please let me know. I could use the serotonin and dopamine.
He watched her glide on water and come sliding to a stop, spraying water in the villain’s face. For the first time he was starstruck. How had he not noticed her before? They were in the same class together. They graduated together, right? Surely he’d trained with her at some point. So why was today the first day he actually SAW her?
She felt eyes on her. Cold, calculated, crimson. Her breath hitched and she almost lost her footing if it weren’t for the fact she remembered she was in the middle of apprehending a criminal. After the handoff to police, Y/N wondered if it actually happened. Did he really look at her? Did he finally notice her after all these years? A side glance from behind her shades told her that yes, he was most definitely looking at her.
He was angry at himself for not remembering. Affirmations about you from Kirishima solidified that you were there. You’d always been there. You’d been quiet, while he’d been loud. You’d been slow and steady, while he rushed ahead. He had Mina speak about you. She eagerly complied and caught him up on everything that made you-you.
“Did you really forget about Y/N being in our class? She hung out with everyone!” Mina laughed.
“Not with me. Tell me more about her.” He filled out paperwork as Mina chatted on, while on the opposite side of the building, Kirishima was having the exact same conversation with Y/N.
“It’s disheartening that he’s just now noticing that I exist. But that’s okay. He’s been hyper-focused on trying to be #1. No one should fault him for that.” Y/N played with the hem of her shirt before sighing and picking up the sandwich on her plate.
“He’s still a good guy, Y/N. He’s just never been good at socializing.” Kirishima took a bite of his food and downed it with a gulp of lemonade.
“Oh I know. It’s okay. I’ll just keep watching him from afar. I don’t want to give him a reason to lose his focus.
/*-+-*/
He watched her in the office. She gave him side glances on patrols. They would discreetly help each other while taking villains down. And then one Winter day he asked her to train with him.
"Oh! Oh sure, that sounds like fun!" He and Y/N made their way to a nearby facility and lost themselves in a few hours of teaching how to support the other with their quirks.
/*-+-*/
"I wanna ask her out on a date, but I don't at the same time."
Kirishima looked at his friend with confusion. "You know it's obvious that you two like each other, right? I mean... literally everyone can see it. You two spend almost every waking minute with each other. What's stopping you?"
"I really like her. I don't wanna scare her away." He rose from his place on the couch and frustratingly ran his fingers through his hair as he made his way to the oversized window.
/*-+-*/
"Can I borrow this? Mine got ripped to shreds when a villain fought me on my way home the other night." Holding up a black sweatshirt, Y/N waved it in front of Mina's face. Mina blinked in thought before breaking out into laughter and nodding. Y/N slipped it over her head, inhaling the faint scent of smoked caramel. “Thanks! I’ll keep it until I can get another one!” With a sly smile, her pink alien friend waved her off and told her not to worry about it.
The cold wind was sharp on her face when she pulled the hood over her head and inhaled. The scent calmed her like a warm hug as she hurried home. Thoughts of a spiky haired man invaded her mind, making her already pink cheeks burn. She loved the man since their first year at UA. He never looked her way, never knew she existed. But she watched him as they faced trials and tribulations as a class, as individuals, and now as heroes. What made him finally look at her? She entered the dark apartment and kicked off her boots in favor of the memory foam bunny slippers, sighing as she shuffled to her room. She fell against the pillows and plushies on her bed and fell asleep still wrapped up in the black sweatshirt, a smile on her face as visions of Bakugou invaded her dreams.
/*-+-*/
“What’s so funny?” Y/N tilted her head, looking at a giggling Mina as they entered the doors of the agency.
“Oh nothing!” Mina sang as she skipped into the room. Bakugou was already stationed at the coffee pot, glaring at it as if willing it to drip faster with the black gold. A side glance stilled his heart for a fleeting moment when he saw Y/N walk in. All smiles and sunshine next to her friend. Then he saw it. Bakugou couldn’t help but notice the familiarity of the pullover. There was a certain tear by the pocket with a singed edge. “Where did you get that sweatshirt?”
She hugged herself in the oversized sweater, “Mina let me have it, why?”
“It’s mine.”
“Oh. … OH!” Shrugging off the garment hastily, she folded it over and offered it to him, “I’m so sorry, Bakugou! I had no idea!” Keeping her eyes down, she heard a soft ‘tch’ and a shadow moving away.
“Hurry up and get changed so we can go train.”
She watched him walk away, and heard stifled laughter behind her. Turning to see Kirishima and Mina huddled together at a corner table, Y/N walked up to her friends and hissed, “What is so funny? He’s clearly upset that I have something that belongs to him!”
“Oh sweet summer child, you really are clueless, aren’t you?” Pinky beamed and grabbed Y/N’s hand. Kirishima shook his head and laughed, “He really likes you!”
Stars lit up in Y/N’s eyes as she turned in time to watch Bakugou turn the corner. “He...likes me too?” Still clutching the pullover in her arms, she quickly followed after him, only to see him enter the locker room. Turning around, she noticed the door to his office was open. She entered his room and left the sweatshirt on his desk before leaving to get ready to train.
/*-+-*/
Hours later, Bakugou walked into his office, narrowing his eyes at the black bundle on the desk. He picked it up to examine it when soft notes of jasmine and vanilla wafted up to his nose. He narrowed his eyes and tucked the shirt under his arm as he took a folder into his other hand and left the agency.
The entryway of his home lit up when he turned the key and opened the door. Kicking off shoes and padding down the hall, he deposited the jumper and folder onto the table before unwinding for the evening. Once evening chores, dinner, and paperwork were all caught up, it was time for bed. He started for his bedroom when he spied the hoodie on the table. Gingerly picking it up he took it to his bedroom and slipped into bed. Cuddling the garment close, he inhaled the vanilla jasmine scent, and all thoughts of Y/N consumed him as he fell asleep.
Bakugou walked into the agency the next morning and took notice of Y/N wearing a new sweatshirt in an ombre gray. Scoffing to himself, he poured himself a cup of coffee. “...look better in black.”
Y/N turned at Bakugou's mumbling, “Hmm? Did you say something?”
“I said you look better in black!” Narrowing his eyes he gave her a severe look and stomped out of the room to his office, slamming the door behind him. He never did see the small smile and blush that crossed her features.
/*-+-*/
Weeks of lighthearted flirting turned into months, and the cool morning of Spring kissed Y/N’s skin as she walked into the lounge room of the agency rubbing her arms for warmth. He was already pouring a cup of coffee when she came in. He cocked an eyebrow and scoffed. “It’s not even cold outside anymore.” He watched her sunshine smile as she stepped near him, only to open the refrigerator door.
“It is to me!” Y/N blushed as she hid her face on the other side of the door, before pulling out a bottle of orange juice and retreated to her office. A bundle in black was draped over her chair. It was the hoodie she had returned to Bakugou months ago. She turned the covering over her arms, the scent of caramel and smoke filling her senses, a smile of giddiness on her face.
“Just tell him already!”
Y/N jumped to find her pink friend leaned against the doorframe. “Mina! I-I can’t do that. He’s got to focus, remember? I don’t want to get in the way of him trying to achieve what he wants the most.”
Mina crossed her arms and shook her head. “You’re so dense sometimes, Y/N. He gave that back to you. He clearly likes you. And you! Your cheeks might as well be permanently pink, and you have hearts in your eyes! Everyone in this building can see how in love you are. I’ve been talking to Kirishima and he agrees with me. We’ve been watching you two flirt for a long time, and it’s agonizing! And you know what? He’s scared of asking you out. He’s afraid to run you off. You’re going to have to be the one to do it. You’re going to have to ask him out.”
Floored by the new information, Y/N sunk into her chair, clutching the hoodie close to her heart. Her mind faltered and unable to form words, she stared dumbly at her best friend. “But- I… He’s scared of running me off?”
/*-+*/
“You just left it in her office? Why didn’t you just give it to her? Everyone in this building already knows you like each other! Be manly and just tell her already, bro!” Kirishima exclaimed, zipping up his duffel bag. “You know what? If you don’t go ask her out, I will. I think she’s pretty cute and I bet we’d have a great time at this new ramen shop that just opened across the street.”
A low growl emanated from the explosion hero, “Don’t you dare.” Still in his hero uniform, Bakugou stormed out of the locker room leaving his best friend to snicker and shake his head.
/*-+-*/
Hearing a familiar stomp down the hall, Mina gleefully smiled before moving aside to allow Bakugou to enter. “I’ll see you later Y/N! I expect a call or text soon!” Mina shut the door as she waved her goodbye, leaving both heroes to stare at each other, their voices trapped from shyness.
Remembering the sweater in her arms, Y/N rose from her chair and slowly walked toward the tall blonde. “You left this for me?”
“Yeah.”
“Are we sharing this hoodie now?”
“I’m letting you borrow it. It’ll keep you warm better than that crappy one you had. It’s going to be cold tonight when we go to the ramen shop across the street.” Shoving his hands into his pockets, he turned away in an attempt to hide the slight blush that formed on his face.
Eyes enlarged with disbelief, Y/N brought the pullover up to cover the astonishment expressed on her face and mumbled, “We? Are you asking me out on a date?” Gazing up at the man before her, she couldn’t help but notice the tips of his ears were turning red. He didn’t look at her when he nodded, but once the bells of her happy voice rang out, he turned and couldn’t stop himself from smiling.
/*-+-*/
*15 YEARS LATER*
“Remember I’m going to be late tonight because Todoroki is holding a study group at his house! Hurry up Harumi, I don’t wanna be late to school because of you!”
“Sorry Raiden! Bye Mom, bye Dad! Love you!”
The door slammed and all was quiet. Y/N stuck her thumbs through the torn holes in the sleeves and started clearing the table when she heard the door of the bedroom shut. Picking up a cup of leftover orange juice, she brought it to her lips when two arms snaked around her waist and she felt a kiss on the back of her head.
“You still have that? It’s worn all to hell. Let me get you a new one.”
Y/N glanced at him mid sip. Smiling into the cup, she finished her drink, her other hand lovingly patted her husband’s arm. Finishing her drink, she wiped her mouth on the sleeve. “A new one? But this is my favorite! I plan on wearing it until it completely falls apart!”
Rolling his eyes, Bakugou peppered Y/N’s face with kisses, ignoring squeals of laughter and the playful pushes against his chest. “Move so I can help you with the dishes before we head to work.”
/*-+-*/
Filing paperwork was the best way to wind down after a long day of apprehending villains. Huddled over her desk Y/N was writing up the last report of the day when the door to her office swung open and her sweaty husband swaggered inside. She narrowed her eyes at his appearance.. Was he wearing a new pullover?
“Just got done going for a run. You ready to go home yet?” Bakugou removed the hoodie, a hint of his waning abs peeking from under his shirt. “Tch. Put those eyes back in your sockets, woman.” Holding out his hand to a giggling Y/N, he pulled her away from the desk and against him for a quick hug before leaving hand-in-hand from the agency.
A sudden breeze blew against the two, causing Y/N to rub her arms. In a side glance, she saw her husband putting on the sweater.
"Sharing is caring, now give me the sweatshirt!"
“Hell no! You chose to not bring your old piece of shit hoodie even though I said it was going to be cold tonight. Suffer the consequences, ya brat.”
“Please sweetheart? I know I should have listened this morning, and you’re right of course. I’m just so cold. You don’t want me to get sick, do you?” Her sugar sweet words twisted around his heart as she gently wrapped her arms around him and tilted her head up and batted her eyes in a most heartfelt manner. Bakugou glared at his wife and paused before grunted his displeasure. With a sigh and an eye roll it was all over. The man scoffed and shook out of the sweatshirt and slipped it over Y/N, pulling the hood over her head.
Face flushed red, the towering blonde pillar looked anywhere but at her. “Dammit woman, why do you do this to me? Next time listen to me and don’t be so stubborn. You’re lucky I love you.”
Enveloped in the warm hug scented of woodsy caramel, she pulled the oversized sleeves over her hands and cupped the tall hero’s cheeks and turned him to face her, “I am the luckiest girl in the world, aren’t I? Thank you for my new hoodie. I love you.”
Lowly growling at the woman before him, Bakugou cocked a brow before breaking out into a smile, shaking his head. “You’re ridiculous, woman, tricking me like that. I love you too. Now let’s get home and have some quiet time before those brats get home.” Putting his arm around her shoulders, he pulled her against him and felt Y/N’s arms wrap around him. He smiled against her hooded head as she giggled and together they walked, their steps in sync toward home.
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herinsectreflection · 3 years
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I want to talk about this scene, from Bargaining when Willow kills the fawn. You might guess from my icon that I am a big fan of this scene. It's pretty short but it sets the stage for Willow's arc throughout S6 excellently.
It opens with her in this gorgeous riverside greenery, dressed in pure white, the very picture of fairytale innocence, bathed in bright sunlight. It's such an unusual shot for the show, which almost exclusively either has shots inside or at night (for obvious reasons of being a vampire show), and that immediately makes it quite memorable. Especially as the rest of the episode is almost entirely set at night, filled with demon bikers, dismemberment, fire, broken down towers and digging out of graves. It's like this little meditative moment of peace in between all that.
Or, it would be if it didn't include a teensy little animal sacrifice.
WILLOW: Adonai, Helomi, Pine. Adonai, Helomi, Pine. The gods do command thee from thy majesty. O Mappa Laman, Adonai, Helomi.
Willow says her words and summons forth a young fawn from the trees. The fawn is another symbol of innocence, like Willow's white dress. As she reaches out and and touches the animal gently, we're reminded of the soft innocent Willow of S1, who shied away from any conflict and seemed incapable of ever hurting a fly. She's like a disney princess, sitting in the woods singing to woodland animals. Only Snow White never stabbed Bambi in the heart.
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The entire plot of the previous season revolved around the blood sacrifice of a child. This is what Glory was trying to achieve, and it's what Buffy has to stop. Buffy gives her life in order to stop it. And now, Willow recreates the same event, performing the blood sacrifice what is specifically an animal child. She steps into the role that the previous season's Big Bad performed, and so tells us that this season, she is stepping into the role of Big Bad. The fawn fills the role of Dawn - the situations rhyme as well as the names do.
Fun fact - the words that Willow uses are taken from The Book of Ceremonial Magic, a 1910 book that compiled various grimoires. In this passage, describing an invocation to request something from God, Adonai/Helomi/Pine are the names of angels - specifically the angels of the East, who appear in human form dressed in lily white according to this passage - another link to Willow's costume here. The invocation seems to involve requesting these angels to appear to the caster in an intelligible form.
ADONAI, HELOMI, PINE, Whom you obey, do invoke, conjure and entreat thee, N., that thou wilt appear forthwith. By the virtue and power of the same God I do command thee from thine order or place of abode to come unto me and skew thyself plainly here before me in thine own proper shape and glory, speaking in a voice intelligible to mine understanding.
In this case, Willow is symbolically killing an actual angel of heaven, which is probably pretty high up on the villainy scale. Just drives home the fundamental Wrongness of this scene. It's also good to remember that the idea of killing one to save other(s) is a theme returned to again and again throughout the show, and the first major example of that theme in action is a certain Angel.
(Credit to this user on BuffyBoards for finding the source of these words.)
So the fawn is Dawn, and the fawn is an angel. But most importantly of all - the fawn is Buffy. Willow, in her attempts to bring Buffy back to life, first has to kill "Buffy".
WILLOW: Come forward, Blessed one. Know your calling.
The fawn is described as having a "calling" that it must "know", just as Buffy has a calling of her own, which over the course of many seasons she learns to know and accept (and eventually revolutionise and reject). It is also described as "Blessed", which in some definitions is taken to mean "one who is with God in heaven". Buffy at this point is literally in heaven (or at least some kind of heaven dimension, the theology is gratefully vague). The structure of the phrase "Blessed one" also reminds of the more relevant phrase - "Chosen One", which again would be Buffy. The spell ingredient, which we know is the fawn's blood, is called "vino de madre" - wine of the mother, implying a feminine source of power, just like The Slayer.
WILLOW: Accept our humble gratitude for your offering. In death ... you give life. May you find wings to the kingdom. In death, you give life. You might say that death... is your gift... yeah, so this really drives it home for me. Using death to give life is literally what Buffy has just done. It was core to her arc last season. And finally the "wings to the kingdom" line again plays into that heaven imagery. S6 loves this kind of imagery for Buffy, even giving her angel wings in one of the most delightfully on-the-nose shots in the show.
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Buffy gave her life to give Dawn one, and with it gave a warning about the struggles of life - "The hardest thing in this world is to live in it.". This is sad but lovely advice that Buffy herself must now spend S6 gradually learning to understand herself. She learns how to deal with the crushing despair of day-to-day existence. Willow, as the Big Bad of this season, doesn't understand this advice at all. For years now, Willow has used magic as a short-cut to avoid actually dealing with her emotions (see Lover's Walk, Something Blue, Tough Love). This goes into overdrive in S6, and it starts with her desperation to bring Buffy back to avoid really dealing with the reality of her death.
In fact it goes beyond magic - Willow is also the one who uses her tech knowledge to bring the Buffybot back online. She uses all her skills to desperately fill in the hole that Buffy has left behind. This is what Willow does, magic or no. And it's sympathetic - my heart breaks every time she talks about fearing where Buffy might have ended up - but it's not totally rational or healthy either. The main problem is that Willow, in doing this, is ignoring Buffy's final words, and misunderstanding the central theme.
As said earlier, by performing this blood sacrifice of a child, Willow is betraying the memory of Buffy, who died to stop one. (Symbolically of course. Morally there are light years between killing an animal and killing a teenager). Buffy gave her life to stop a blood sacrifice, and so Willow reverses the process - causing a blood sacrifice to give Buffy her life. And she betrays Buffy's final words with her refusal to accept the pain of life and live with it. And finally, she betrays Buffy spiritually.
Remember that Willow is Buffy's metaphorical Spirit, as shown in Primeval. It is a special kind of betrayal that Buffy's Spirit breaks her spiritually in this season. She literally rips her soul out of eternal bliss and contentment, causing an existential break within her. She beseeches the fawn/Buffy to find "wings to the kingdom", but in doing so robs Buffy of her wings.
Buffy suffers brutal depression this season, and describes it many times as feeling dead inside. This kind of emotional deadness is caused directly by her ressurection (though severely exacerbated by her unresolved trauma, grief over Joyce, and generally just living under capitalism). Willow has tried to give death to bring life, but because the action is a betrayal of Buffy on many levels, the act is tainted, and perverted, like a wish on a monkey's paw. She literally kills metaphorical Buffy, and so metaphorically kills literal Buffy. Buffy has life, but said life is causing a kind of death within her.
And what does Willow get for all this? Her pain isn't fixed by all this. She just gets blood on her hands (and later on her face). It sets off a chain of events that will end with far more blood on Willow's hands. She dips a toe into a darkness, but because she doesn't understand fully the emotions that have taken her there, she can't exert any control over it. She doesn't learn a lesson here that she shouldn't try to shape the world to deal with her emotions. Instead, she learns that she has power over life and death.
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Willow is clearly deeply shaken by this, but it's not nearly enough to make her change her path. She ignores the very obvious foreshadowing here - her hands literally coated in blood - and carries on anyway. She takes the wrong lessons from this moment, which she clearly demonstrates in her argument with Giles in Flooded, where she ignores his anger over how she's warped the rules of nature, and instead focuses on how awesome she is ("The magicks I used are very powerful. I'm very powerful. And maybe it's not such a good idea for you to piss me off.")
This is a small scene, but it sets up so much for Willow. It shows how far she has come from the meek girl of S1. And it shows a glimpse of the future, how she has far to go but is now on a path to become the villain she is at the end of S6. She starts it by killing metaphorical Buffy in order to save her, and will end it by trying to kill actual Buffy in order to emotionally "save" her. At every point she can justify the blood on her hands as serving some greater purpose - but the blood is still there.
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oneirataxiahiraeth · 3 years
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Can I request a Kai Parker smut when the reader is Bonnie's cousin and the reader sees through the things that Kai has done.
Dudeeee I actually had a this whole concept already in my drafts!!! Sorry it’s taken me a while, I’m a very indecisive person so this was written over and over again LMFAO
Pairings : Bennett!Reader X KaiParker
Warnings : angst., some more angst, angry Bonnie, Kai Slander, mentions of blood/violence/gore, mentions of murder, language, smut, not proof read
Requested : ;) I originally based this off of POV by Ariana Grande but I made some tweaks to it so yeah
Word Count : 7k
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Your head was light and brain struggling to make any connections to the rest of your body. Your back rested against the dining room chair as you let whatever Jo fed to you get mushy in your mouth. Caroline had fed you some of her blood but your headache remained. Everything about today had went south and now everyone was just waiting on the edges of their chairs for something to happen and just wrap up the gift of shittiness to this very bad day. Unfortunately for you, you just so happened to be the fucking bow.
"I thought I told you to stay away from her!" Bonnie snapped in the living room at the brown haired siphon. You couldn't hear the arguments happening in the other room solely because you were too busy being coddled by Jo and Caroline to make sure you wouldn't be able to hear the scolding Kai was receiving in the other room.
Bonnie never saw what you did whenever she looked at him. In her mind, you were just another one of his victims. He couldn't have had any good intentions with you. Kai Parker never had good intentions of any kind. He's selfish, and evil, and cruel, and there's no way in hell she was going to let him keep ruining your life after what happened today. Everyone knew who he was and what he did, everyone saw how dangerous he could be... except you just refused to acknowledge it. Truthfully, she didn't know whether to direct all her anger at him for hurting you or put all her disappointment on you for letting it get this far.
"Bonnie I swear, it's not like that! I never meant to hurt her, it just happened and I couldn't control it-"
"I swear to god I will kill you right now, and I wouldn't even need magic to do it." She growled.
He couldn't understand what made her so angry. Obviously he never meant to siphon so much out of you, really he didn't mean to siphon you at all. He was just planning on telling from Bonnie and the bracelet you gave him with a bit of your magic in it for emergencies and hoped the whole spell would work out fine.
"It was an accident!"
"Like hell it was!" Everyone stood around... watching... waiting... hoping. Hoping he would step out of line just once so they could rip his head off. "Nothing with you is an accident, Kai!"
"I would never intentionally hurt her, Bonnie! Believe or not I'm still capable of human emotions!" He scoffed, nothing the vampires surrounding him ready to pounce at any given moment, and with his anger levels rising they were about to have a field day.
"Of course you would, Kai! You hurt everyone who's close with you! Whether it's literally or metaphorically you always find a reason that benefits you, that justifies you hurting someone else! That's just who you are! You want nothing good with her, Kai! She's a good person, just leave her alone!" Bonnie growled, but Kai wasn't going to give in so easily.
"I've changed, Bonnie!"
"Changed into what? An even better liar? Because for an actual second there, Kai, I really believe you stayed in mystic falls just to live the life you never got to!" She fired.
"That's-"
"You know, if you wanted to make us even considering liking you, you should've moved. Far, far away from here, somewhere where you can't fucked up our lives enough for us to continue to have another fucking reason to hate you!" His shoulders dropped, hurting filling him to the brim. Usually he wouldn't let things like words get to him. She was upset with him, people say things they don't mean when they're upset... only she would've said this even in her happiest moments of life. She did hate him, and she had every reason to.
"She makes me a better person- When I'm I'm with her I want to be a better Person, Bon!" He defended himself. He knew the real reason he was with her, to him it was quite obvious. She made him feel as though the world wasn't out to get him. She could stop a nightmare before it even began with just a breathing the way she does. She made the best cupcakes, even though her cooking skills were mediocre, magic could fix everything. She made him smile without even doing anything just from the warm giddy feeling in his body when he's around her. Y/N Bennett... she was the only person to exist to make Malachi Parker feel like he deserved to live.
"Bullshit! You're just using her-"
"It isn't like that!" He snapped, causing the argument to halt for a few seconds.
"Really? Then tell me, Kai. What is it? Is it because she's my cousin? Is that why you're interested in her? To get back at me in your own disgusting twisted way? Or is it because of the blood? I bet her Bennett blood would come in real handy just in case-"
"No! I wouldn't do that to her-"
"Or is it because you're just so desperate for someone who actually feels like a friend that you decided to keep her around? Hmm? Maybe it's because after 18 years holed up in that prison word, you finally came to the realization that there is no possible way you could ever be loved. That you deserve to be alone for the rest of eternity. But all of a sudden, here she is, Precious y/n Bennet, the only person who is willingly to search for even a shred of good in you!" She spat. Everyone around watching guards fell as the watched Kai slowly become less tense. His shoulders falling slowly, the will the defend himself leaving his body along with his will to live, embarrassment and anger rushing through his veins, but a small part of him kept him in the room and not on his way back to his apartment. "Let me tell you something, Kai. Maybe this you can finally get it through your head." Bonnie feeling confident enough to take a step towards the stunned looking Siphon. "Not even a Bennett witch is strong enough to fix the broken, unlovable, vile person you really are. And if you truly, by some fucking miracle have a beating heart in your chest, if you've actually let her change you for the better, then you know she's better off without you. We both know that you don't deserve her in any way, shape, or form... so just let her go. Find someone else to ruin and leave her alone."
It felt as if all the oxygen in his body had left. His heart stopped pumping blood through his veins, and slowly and painfully he felt as if he was desiccating on the insides. He hadn't even noticed the tear that had escaped while he was being scolded.
Both you and Jos head turn as you hear a muffled scream that sounded like it came from Bonnie. You tried to stand by Jo eased you back down, shaking her head as if everything was all right. You couldn't hear much of the conversation going on in the other room, but you knew if it was enough to make Bonnie angry then it was never good. And Bonnie in their with Kai... was enough to make her wanna take out the entire town of Mystic Falls.
"I feel fine Jo, I'm good." You reassure her, standing on your own again against her advice.
She knew what was going on in there... they've been going at it since before you even regained consciousness. She wasn't worried about you not being able to stand on your own, she was worried about you overbearing the heavy conversation happening in the other room.
"Maybe we should head to a clinic or something, you did hit your head pretty hard!" She tries quickly but you shaking your head.
"Caroline gave me her blood, I'll be fine." You responded, looking to the blood who seemed to be in total shock and not at all paying attention to either of you. "I think I'm just going go home and sleep, promise I won't do anything to crazy." You sent Jo a soft smile, tilting your head at Caroline in confusion but ultimately ignored it. Maybe it was some weird vampire sensory thing.
"You should take the back door!" Jo tried again, just to keep you from walking back into the living room.
"I would..." you narrowed your eyes at the dark haired doctor. "But my keys are by the front door." You spoke, walking towards the living room before Jo could make any more excuses. You caught on fast, but really you did just want to go home.
"Wait No-" Jo stood quickly, Caroline finally snapping back into consciousness. By the time she could truly think, you were already walking through the doors leading into the living room. There was still a bit of your blood on the carpet, you knew Damon was going to bitch about that later so you figured you get out why you still could.
Well... that's what you were planning to do before you stopped just to notice all of the eyes planted on you. You first assumed that it was just them just surprised at your speedy recovery... but the tear running down your boyfriends cheek made you rethink a bit. Kai never cried. No matter what or ho he was feeling, there was not a thing in this world that he would ever let get to him. Maybe he was just so worn out from the spell too that he didn't even feel himself tearing up. The whole room felt tense, and even Jo and Caroline looked like this in the Kitchen.
"What's going on?" You felt your own body tense a bit as Kai's eyes fell down to the floor.
"nothin'" Kai mumbled, voice shaky. Your eyes narrowed with obvious disbelief. His voice was kind of small, and he couldn't even look at you. He had so many thoughts racing through his head he had no idea what to do.
"Why don't i believe that..." you spoke, mostly to yourself. "I was just about to head home." You mentioned wearily. "Are you coming or are you just gonna stand there awkwardly?" You asked, half joking and half wanting to know what had him so actually upset.
"Uhm," he spoke looking back up, eyes immediately attracted to Bonnie before looking back to you. He felt her glare burning into the side of his head, her whole rant repeating itself in his mind over and over again. "Yeah, yeah, I'll drive." He nodded, turning around just so he wouldn't have to look at you again. Before he could walk, Bonnie had grabbed his arm. Rather tightly, and oddly to be honest. She usually avoided any sort of interaction with him, so even an arm touch was a weird sight to you.
All she sent was a simple look that seem to have him shaken down to his boots before she let him go. Her eyes falling back to you. She sent a smile, before just walking away. Not a word. Just silence. It was weird, no one else had much to say either, just weird looks on their faces and more silence to give. You ignored them though, just wanting to get home.
"Uhm, okay." You responded to the silence, shaking out the bad feeling from your mind before walking through the living room. You grabbed you jacket off the couch before walking over to Kai. You reached your hand up to touch his arm but he shrugged you off, walking towards the front door without even look at you. Was he mad? What could he possibly have been mad at you for?
You pretended to not noticed the coldness and just follow after him out the door. He got into the car, barely even waiting until your door was fully closed before taking off out of the driveway. He needed to get you home. To stop himself from doing the right thing and letting you go because he didn't want that. He wanted you, for as long as he could manage to keep you in his grasp. It was selfish of him, but everyone already knew what he was like so he didn't really care. He's happy with you. Happy with his life with you. Happy with his life around you. Happy with himself with you.... why in hell would he ever give you up?
Bonnie was right though, letting you go wasn't about his happiness. It was about yours. And as selfish as he was, your happiness would always come above his own. He made sure of that everyday. He didn't eat until you did, he took shorter showers so you could have more hot water, or he'd just wait until you were done and take whatever was left. You wanted- deserved a life without him and all the despair and pain that follows him around. You didn't deserve to be woken up in the middle of the night because he was restless. You didn't deserve to be distanced from all your friends just because you liked him. If living the best life you could meant leaving him behind, he was fine with that. He was fine with that for you. He was fine with you being happy even if it meant he would've been miserable for the remainder of his life.
"Kai, you need to slow down!" You spoke up, hand moving to his thigh as you noticed his hand clutching the wheel so tightly. "Your going 70 in a 35" it was late and no one was out on the streets, he didn't care how fast he was going.
"It's fine, y/n." He muttered, eyes not leaving the road. There were no deer out in this time of the year, there was no danger of hitting much of anything.
"No, Kai, it's dangerous." You responded, "slow down, please."
"No." He needed to get you home. If he slowed down, that gave you more time to talk. More time for him to think, more reasons to flood his brain on why you were better off without him.
"No? Kai, come on, seriously you need to slow down." You scoffed, not amused by his resistance. "I'd rather not die in a car crash before I'm old enough to run for president."
"Could you stop talking? Like just for a moment!" He huffed.
"Wha- I- no! What the hell is wrong with you? Slow the car down, Kai!" His eyes rolled, momentarily forgetting just how persistent you could be. "Kai!" Your hand moving from his thigh as you contemplated jumping out of the car just to see what he would do. Maybe after you break probably every bone in your body he'll slow the fucking car down. "Stop the damn car." You spoke but he ignored you, hoping you would just stop talking to him.
Instead of you stopping with the chat, he felt himself stomping on the break as your seatbelt came undone. Your body moving forward fast, colliding with the dashboard, and knocking the absolute wind out of you. He unbuckles his seat belt quickly, looking over to you. You were fine, your boobs not so much, but it wasn't unbearable. You let out a deep throaty couch, opening your car door. You only unbuckled your seat belt to get him to slow down, put the fear in him that you were going to jump out.
Well... it sort of worked.
"Y/N, what the hell?!" He growled, following you out the car. You were leaned onto the car trying to get some air into your king as the adrenaline started releasing through your body. "What the hell were you going to do? Jump out of the fucking car because I was got a few miles over? You could've gotten hurt! Hurt worse the just hitting the dashboard! What if another car was coming? You could've gotten ran over, and killed! Then you'd wake up with a craving for an AB positive juice box!" He scolded you as if you were a child.
"I wasn't actually going to jump out, asshole! I just wanted you to slow the damn car down! And if you would've done it, instead of being a dick then we wouldn't be having this conversation!"
He mumbled something under his breath that you couldn't quite make out and you finally managed to stand straight again. "Are you okay?" He sighed.
"Are you?" You shrugged. "You haven't looked at me since we left the house, you won't talk to me, practically told me to shut the fuck up, and then you yell at me like I'm kid."
"I didn't mean to yell at you. I just didn't want you to get hurt." He frowned a bit.
"I'm fine. But I'm not getting back in that car." You spoke.
"What? Why?"
"Tell me what Bonnie said to you that has you so upset." You demanded, his heart pausing for only a moment as you stated into his soul.
"What?"
"I might be a little be slower at picking up on the clues but I'm not stupid. What did she say that has you so deathly terrified to even look at me?" You asked. "Did she put a spell on you or something-"
"No, it's nothing, y/n, just drop it and let's get back." He shook his head.
"If it was nothing then you wouldn't mind telling me."
"It's none of your business."
"Seeing as your my boyfriend and she's my family, in some weird way, whatever beef you two have is my business."
"Leave it alone."
"No" You shook your head, crossing your arms over your chest even though it hurt a bit.
He wanted to yell, but he knees you still wouldn't give up. He didn't understand how you could be so annoyingly persistent still after he's shot you down so many times. It was like you knew you were getting under his skin yet you kept digging. Purposely trying to draw out some reaction just for your own amusement.
"Why don't you give up?" He groaned. "Why do you even care? Why can you stand there and look at me like that with no guilt at all?!" His foot colliding with the car tire. He hated how much every fiber of his being was pushing him to do the right thing for once. "How can you stand there knowing everything I've done and still sleep in a bed with me? Do you not care?" He wanted to stop but nothing was letting him.
"What're talking about?"
"I killed people! My own family, y/n! I hurt Bonnie! I hurt Damon! I hurt Elena, and then just because I thought you were pretty I hurt you too! And still, you refuse to see any of my faults in actions that I take pride in!" He yelled finally. It didn't phase you. You encourage him to let any emotions he was feeling out all the time. He was angry right now, and you were fine just seeing how angry he really was.
"You're not that person anymore, that's why. I trust you."
"Well you shouldn't." He shook his head. "I will always be that person!"
"You may feel like that person but your not!" You defend him against himself. "You've made a lot of progress, you know that. And I could sit here and dwell on the shit you've done in the past but if I did that to everyone, I'd have no one." You sighed, not understanding why he was bringing any of this up. What did Bonnie say to him?
"I left Bonnie in a prison world to die!"
"And you helped me get her back!"
"I tortured your best friend!"
"You wouldn't be the first-"
"Stop doing that!"
"What?"
"Making excuses for me! There are none! I'm a bad person, y/n! You aren't, this whole 'fix me' doll relationship isn't going to last because of that! Because you deserve better than me! And if I let this go any further, then that means I haven't changed. I'm not better than I was, I've just had you to keep me from making any stupid decisions-"
"Kai stop-"
"-and one day you're going to realize that this was all a mistake. That maybe there isn't something that can be redeemed in my cold unloveable heart. And when that day comes, I'd rather not wake up and see the pure and utter hatred you've developed for me just like the rest of the people in my life."
You felt your lungs stop filling with air. It was hard to get any in, you were just breathless. How were you suppose to breathe after that? Now you had a decent idea of what that conversation he had with Bonnie was.
"No. You don't get to do that, you can't push me away. I'm not here because your a chore Kai, I care about you, and I want to be with you-"
"Do you seriously have no respect for yourself?!"
"Do you?!"
"No! Because all my respect goes to you! Everything I have goes to you! And because I respect you, and because you are literally the only thing on earth that I actually truly care about I have to do this-"
"No you don't-"
"I'm br-"
"No your not!" You groaned, covering you ears as if that would effect the outcome of this situation.
"Stop being so stubborn."
"Kiss me."
"No,"
"Just do it, Kai! Kiss me, and we can make up and forget this whole conversation!"
"How can you seriously fucking stand there and act like I'm not going to ruin your life. I murdered my own siblings in cold blood. And I'd do it again, y/n. I don't feel bad, I never felt bad. I've done so many bad things and your standing here looking at me like I'm a fucking Saint who deserves the happiness you give!"
You remained silent.
"Is that what you want? To see how bad I can be? To wait for the day where you can see Malachi Parker in action? Be there when he finally breaks?! Again!" He scoffed and you shook your head, but no word escaped. "You know what" his eyes set on you, desperate to make you see what everyone else sees when they look at him. "Maybe i can get to your head, if I let you in mine." He spoke walking to you, hands on your temples before you could even move.
You tried to break from him hold be you weren't nearly as strong as he was. He was mumbling something under his breath and soon your whole body became numb. Your mouth feel open as you let out groans of pain as bloody images fill your head, and guilt and remorse and hurt filled your heart. Screams and cries ringing in your mind, but none you've ever heard before. People you've never seen crying, and struggling to run from you. Only it wasn't you they were running from. It was Kai.
His memories flooded your brain all at the same time. You had no idea had to process everything you were seeing. All the pain in your chest amplifying somehow with a deeper emotional pain. But most of that wasn't yours either. It was his too. Loneliness and Exhaustion. Hate and Longing. It was overwhelming along with the pictures and sounds running amok in your head. Soon pictures of Bonnie had flashed through your mind, and Jo, and Damon. Blood, and more blood, nothing wasn't covered in blood, and with every passing second the pain in your chest worsened. Cries of his name, and blood curdling screams filling your head, some of which belonged to you. That was when you felt the worse pain. Hearing your own screams caused a panic, and seeing your own body covered in blood, watching your body fall just earlier as your head collided with the end table. Sheer panic and anguish for some reason. But the last image to intrude your thoughts seemed like a not so distant memory of his. One of you. Even if your head wasn't being taken over you wouldn't have remembered because in this moment he wasn't with you. He was sitting across the grill watching you dunked your fries into a strawberry milkshake with a huge smile on your face in front of your friends. You seemed happy, and it was like you were witnessing someone come back to life. First grief hit you hard, then relief and joy, and then reality set in and it was like you realized that it was all just dream and that person was still dead and never coming back and you were never going to be happy again.
He tore his hands away from you, allow you to steal in some oxygen and you went dizzy, using the car for support so you wouldn't collapse on the ground. Your chest heaving as you tried to reel in your mind what you just saw, what you felt, what you heard. All of his memories. All of the bad things he's ever done, or things he would consider to be bad. But in his mind, it was only reason that you would probably be more inclined to leave him for.
Through every memories you were overwhelmed with emotions. Whatever you could feel you felt. You didn't know which emotions were yours or his. You couldn't separate the feelings. But in some weird way you could tell that the pain and anguish churning in your gut was his. You didn't know his family well enough to have regrets, or remorse... that was all him. All the fronts he put up... all those emotions exposed everything.
"Get in the car." He spoke softly, helping you off the car so he could open the door. "You don't need to say anything, I'm taking you home and then I'll be gone." He spoke as if he knew that you wanted to be nowhere near him.
Instead, you just wanted to give him a hug. That gut wrenching pain he felt still lingering within your body. Tears streaming down your cheeks but not because of what you saw, but how he felt. Every one of your friends have done things of equal evil status. Judging him for things he obviously did regret and feel everyday wouldn't be fair to him. And whether you felt like that because you wanted to be fair or because you were in love with him was a mystery to even you.
You didn't speak, you just sat in the car staring ahead of you. Trying to determine how you really truly felt. Why was him seeing you so bad that he felt he needed to include that memory in his mind torture. You barely felt time move as he flew down the road at the same speed as before. When he parked in front of the apartment the two of you shared, he decided he would just stay out and drive all night. He didn't know where to go. He knew you probably wouldn't want him around. You stared blankly at the red bricked building with the dim lights hanging from the walls.
"Y/N." He spoke softly, not wanting to look at the tears running down your cheeks.
"Kai." You returned, voice soft and brittle unaware of how vulnerable you sounded to him. "Why do you consider meeting me a bad thing?" You asked, not a single other word coming to mind.
"I don't regret meeting you. I regret putting you in this position in the first place. And if I didn't insert myself into your life then-"
"Then you wouldn't be breaking up with me on the side of the road. Leaving me alone to spend the rest of my life wondering what I did wrong to push you away. To wonder why my love wasn't good enough reassurance-" you rambled not sure why everything was coming out of your lips.
"then you wouldn't be crying right now. Then you could've avoided all of this." He sighed in response. He hated when you cried, if it was anyone else it would've been annoying. Your tears always were the one thing that could truly break him into pieces. "When I met you... when I met you, I was so sure that you were just going to ignore me or hate my guts. I fucking left your friend in a prison world to die, y/n. I tortured you, yet you still see me as someone who's able to be redeemed. You SAW what I did, and your still defending me!" His own tears starting to pool. "I d-don't want you to hate me... and I don't want to do this... but I do want to be happy and I don't think you could ever really do that until I'm out of your life." You silently shook your head as you tried not to let your own tears keep falling. Your heart clenching in your chest, breathing getting harder to achieve.
You didn't speak.
You couldn't.
Pain hitting you harder as each second passed. You didn't know how to respond to be truthful so you just unbuckle your seat belt. You sniffled, waking the tears from you cheeks only to has fresh one replace the one you wiped away. Kai still refused to look at you, maybe you finally did she was shitty person her was. And how stupid you were for being with him. You opened the door, getting out quickly hoping he follow you but he didn't. You were still a bit dizzy from him flooding his memories through your head. You're steps were slow and wobbly and you were bound to fall in seconds but you just kept moving. To any who didn't know what you've just been through, you were just so drunk sorority girl trying to make it to the door.
Kai watched you struggled for a second, knowing you could hold your own, but he didn't want you to. He got out of the car, not even caring about locking it behind himself. His feet carried the rest him over to you. Almost as if his body was acting on instinct to help you. His arm wrapped around you, your sweet scent immediately wafting into his nose causing a tear to slip down his cheek. He ignored it, helping you, and you just let him. You didn't feel like fighting. You just wanted his touch on your skin, so you allowed him to help you.
Many thoughts flooded your head. He was as bad as everyone said he was. But you he'd never hurt you, in any way. He wouldn't hurt anyone else because that would hurt you. He was good because he wanted to be, but only for you. No one else has ever really given him good enough reason to be good. You knew he wasn't the same person that he was, and tonight just cleared it all up. It didn't stop you from loving him. It just gave you all the more reason to. You've seen your best friends do worst than him, who were you to cash him out for something he's going to feel his entire life?
You didn't speak the entire way to your front door. He unlocked the door for you, hoping you would just be able to walk and get some rest on the couch or something.
You had other plans.
You stood straight on your own, looking back to the brown haired siphon who realized he was just fooled into a trap. Your hands reached for his, taking his hand in yours quickly before he could walk away.
"Y/n, please, it's easier this way just let me go-"
"You showed me your worst moment so I want to show you my best." You spoke. Eyes dead set on his, hands gripping each other's, neither one of you wanting to let each other go. "Please." You let out a small breath.
"This is going to make it a lot harder-"
"That's the point, Malachi." You sniffle, holding in a tiny laugh.
"Okay." He whispered, preparing himself for the rush of emotions and memories flooding through his head like he did to you. You pulled your hands from his, placing them on each of his temple before beginning the spell.
It wasn't long before he felt your presence in his mind, his on thoughts being taken over with your own thoughts. At first it was a horrible feeling watching every time you were happy, knowing he was never going to be able to see that from you again. Not if he kept his promise. He wouldn't to push you away, his chest light and full with joy and a love so over it was almost crushing. He watched as memories of times you spent with him. From your first date, to that one joke he cracked the made you laugh when he first kidnapped you just to torture you for practice. He watched as he teased you, to the first time the two of you had sex, to the first I love yous, and he felt how warm inside it made you at the fact that he never over used the words. You knew he loved you even when he didn't physically say those words. You felt his love every time you were around him, and that was enough for you.
   He felt a soft smile forming on his lips but he could tell if it was from your happiness or knowing how much he really meant to you. Memories of late night cries, and arguments ending in angry sex, and sneaking out of classes, and talking trash about your friends even though you would never said something too horrible about them.
  You liked who you were with him. You loved who you were. And he felt all of that, he felt how much love you held for him, how much pain you were in to think about him leaving. And eventually that strong happy, lovely, calm feeling was stripped away from him, leaving him empty for a moment before he felt you hands against his cheeks.
  You were holding his face, staring straight into his eyes, both of you almost to the point of sobs. You were praying to god that you're plan worked. The hell were you going to do if it didn't?
  "Don't leave me, Kai."
"Y/N-"
   "I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, Kai. Let me love you, please." You pleaded, bodies moving closer together without each other even realizing. It was natural for you to be close with him, you never questioned it.
  He didn't want to say no. But he owed it to you to say no.
"You saw what I did-"
"And you saw how much I love you-"
  "You watched in first person how I killed four of my siblings-"
  "And you watched from my point of view how badly I fell in love with you."
  You just wanted to kiss and make up. You would fall apart if he left you alone. Especially if he was doing it for your own 'happiness' because that meant he thought you weren't happy with him. It was upsetting and slightly insulting, because you were the happiest you've ever been with him.
  "I just want to do the right thing, baby." He whimpered quietly, you're heart nearly breaking in a million pieces. His tearing streaming quickly, mentally slapping himself for being so weak for you.
  "Then stay... stay and make me the happiest person in the entire world. We could graduate together and get a small house in the suburbs, or- or we could leave. Right now. Travel all across the world, experiencing so many different things together." You offered meaning every word.
  At some point in the silence that seemed to last for forever, one of you couldn't take it anymore. You didn't care to pay attention which one of you, but your lips connected, smooshing your faces together to be as close as possible. Tears mixing on each other's cheeks, his hands down on your waist pulling you closer into him as you both made you're way inside your shared home.
  He used his foot to kick the door closed, being careful to touch you oh so gently. You were a fragile peace of glass to him, the most beautiful sculpture who had no business being with him. He did nothing to deserve you, yet you felt he deserved you more than anyone in the world. You wasted so many years on him tonight, and for some reason you didn't care anymore. He was here, he was on you, his hands, his lips, your minds in sync for each and every single one of your next moves.
   Clothes slowly being tossed the the floor as you both backed each other to your bedroom through the dark apartment. By the time you reached the bed the only thing you had left were you bra and underwear, along with his shirt and boxers. Neither of you had even bothered to pull apart for a single breath. You allowed him to gently lower you on the poorly made bed.
   "Mmh, w-wait-" he mumbled against your lips. Youre legs parting for him to slip between which he did without thinking. "This is wrong-"
  "No, it's not?" You spoke in confusion. "I love you, Kai. I don't care what Bonnie said, because she doesn't know what this feels like." You shake your head.
  "Find someone else to ruin and let her go" Kai quoted, your grip on him tightening. "I don't want to-"
  "Maybe I want you to ruin me. To fuck up my life. To fuck up my morals just because I love you. I want that, Kai. I want every bit of it. I want this love that consumes me from the inside out, and I want to be able to go against everything I believe for you. I. Love. You." His hands traveling down your waist, as you let out a sigh.
  "I love you." He mumbled. "I love you so fucking much." His lips came down on your collarbone, fingers slipping under you panties waistbands before snapping his fingers to get rid of them. You felt the cold air against your slick heat, the warmth from his own body radiating into yours. His hips grinding down into your, his hardon pressing into you causing a light whimpering as you felt the butterflies raging into the pair of your stomach.
"I just wanna be with you, baby." You let out a soft moan, urging him on as he nips and sucked red marks onto your skin.
You used your own magic to undo the threads of his plain blue shirt as you dragged your hand down his back. The fabric slipping down his arms which he didn't mind. He was too focus on your warm skin under his tongue. His teeth grazing across your skin, coming closed with a tiny pinch every time. Your chest heaving into his from the closeness, and heat of it all. 
   "Tell me to stop” he mumbled against your skin, hips grinding into your heat as you let out needy moans.
“I need you, Kai, please.” Your lip caught in between your teeth, as the cloth of his underwear separating the two of you disappeared. “I want you so bad.” You whined, fingers digging into the soft warm skin on his back.
You felt his hard on slipping between your slick folds as he rocked his hips back and forth. He wanted to feel you, he wanted you to feel him. He never wanted to leave your side, or go a moment without feeling your warmth. He loved you with every fiber of his being, and there was no possible way he could truly explain that to you.
“Please-” you pleaded before he slowly pushed himself into you. Your mouth hung open as his length filled you to the brim, the tip of his cock hitting that hot spongy spot in your cunt so well you could help but moan. He always did fill you up perfectly, almost as if he was made for you or vice versa. “Oh my god.” You whined, hips grinding into his as his hips set a steady pace.
Your legs resting around his waist, as you let out small breathy moans. He was fucking into you hard, but it still felt amazing. He wanted to take his time with you and you felt it. Your body tingling, mind focused solely on him and everywhere your skin touched his. You felt his lips connected with you neck, continuing to suck soft bruised on the skin, placing a soft kiss after each one whispering a single ‘I love you’ each time. His hands left your waist, traveling up your beautiful naked body, taking all the warmth he could, until he traced your hands to his back. He pulled the off, even though he enjoying the sting of your nails digging into his skin, pinning your hands down above you head. His hands flat onto of yours, fingers intertwining as his lips found yours again, your kisses sloppy and slow. The sound of skin on skin filling the room as his pace quickened earning louder breathier moans from your pretty little mouth.
You felt a bubbling heat in the pit of your stomach signaling you were close to your high. Eyes struggling to sty open, as your boyfriend fucked into you so lovingly. It became harder to do anything other than focus on the feeling of him hitting so deep into you he’s almost hit your cervix. The kisses became harder to return and nothing but the sound of you filled the room. He watched in complete awe as you as you slowly began to fall apart. You were the most beautiful creatures he’s ever laid his eyes on, and he had you here underneath him on your way to this euphoric high that he him caused. His name coming out of your mouth in quiet moans and pleads and warning of you about to explode all over his dick. You were all he’s ever wanted out of life, and now he had you and there was no one and nothing that would take you away from him except for death itself.
You were his and that was final.
“Open your eyes baby, look at me.” He groaned as he felt your cunt convulsing around him so tightly.
You struggled with the actions, your eyes focusing on his eyes as you cried out in pleasure. “I’m so close, Kai, fuck, I’m going to cum.” You whined and he nodded watching as your breathing got heavier.
“Cum for me, baby, cum all over me.” He urged you on, feeling his own high approaching.
You felt something inside you explode, a loud moan his name escaping your lips, all your juices spilling onto his hard cock a he continued fucking you through your high. You body jolting and shaking around him, as he went faster, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you realizing you weren’t done yet.
“So close.” He mumbled, hands squeezing your so tightly you felt as if they were going to break. You ignored the pain of having your hard crush and just let out absorber moan from another orgasm building quickly.
“M’gonna c-cum again!” You warned, strained voice loud and needy.
“Me too baby” Kai moaned back, watching your eyes squeeze shut again taking in the way your body shook around him. “Let go y/n, I know you want to.” He spoke out of breath.
You felt his thrust getting sloppily, but he tried keeping up the pace. His own body stiffening as his cock twitch in you as you clenched around him again. Both of your falling apart with loud moans, and whimpering of each other names, lips coming together again as he spilt every last bit of his hot cum into your beautifully worn out cunt.
Neither of you spoke any words. Just your reveled in each other’s tongues, allowed you naked bodies to somehow merge into one. You felt a sudden tiredness take over you as it did the same to him.
“I don’t want to let you go.” He whispered into your lips.
“Then don’t. Let’s stay this way forever.” You hummed, squeezing his hands in yours.
“Deal.”
256 notes · View notes
kitkatpancakestack · 3 years
Note
Hold up...your theory on all the season finales focusing on Buck and his love interests — Buck ending each season being left by someone he loved (he didn't really love Ali, but doesn't matter). Hold. Up. Not really a theory, but a keen observation of fact on your part! But what was different about season 4, hmm? He almost lost Eddie, but the episode ended with Eddie staying, Eddie choosing Buck. THIS SHOW!!!
911 narrarive parallels are rarely one-on-one, they are like fractals. What on earth is coming next???
(And I am now just remembering that that scene with Buck and Eddie was the final scene of the episode, before the montage.)
I don't know what I'm asking except I would love to hear more of your thoughts on this parallel (or anything else 911 that is on your mind...)
OHohoh be careful what you ask for, I will reach into my brain and splatter the proverbial canvas with every over-analytical triviality I can get my hands on.
@yramesoruniverse I am so happy to see you in my inbox, every time your url pops up on my dash I smile. I vibe with your vibes! Reading your tags on my posts and vice versa feels like we're sitting down with some popcorn to talk shit (affectionate) about this beloved weewoo show.
Okay okay onto the ask - naturally I have some opinions, 90% of my headspace is the weewoo and 10% is nonsense like bills, groceries, my job, school applications, etc. I've got thoughts. So here we go:
I've started realizing this on my latest re-watch, and I just got to the season 3 finale, and as I was shoving my face full of Wendy's I thought to myself, whoa whoa whoa, this is the third finale of this show and the third time I have to see Buck all forlorn and woe is me bc another LI is leaving him. And everything snowballed after that. Let's go in order, and then we're gonna talk about other character's arcs as they manifest in the finale, and then hopefully I can pull this mess together at the end so it makes sense!
Let's preface these analyses by saying that typically season finales are reserved for revisiting the main storylines of characters, and in the case of 9-1-1 which focuses on the personal lives of the first responders, the main storylines revolve around those characters' families. Buck's main storyline is his search for meaningful connection and having something that he can call his own.
1x10: "A Whole New You"
Abby leaves Buck. That's what this boils down to in regards to the theme of this post. After Buck prepared himself to "step into it with her" and "keep her company there," Abby's mom passed away and relieved her of the last thing tethering her in place, resulting in her deciding to travel the world and rediscover herself. I think the title of the episode is hilarious as it relates to Buck and Abby, because it's pretty obvious in Abby's case but in the context of the next season we literally start to see the transition to a "whole new Buck." I hate speaking its name aloud, but Buck 2.0 anyone???
Why Abby leaves: she was afraid she would lose herself if she stayed
What Buck learns: he is capable of a monogamous relationship and actually he might prefer this to the alternative
2x18: "This Life We Choose"
Ali leaves Buck. Her mere existence in this episode shows the audience Buck is actively moving on from Abby. He is trying to make this whole meaningful connection thing work, which feels more authentic to him probably because Ali is already established in his life (sound like someone we know from season 4 anybody??? sorry I digress), but we know how this turns out.
Why Ali leaves: she couldn't handle the inherent danger and unpredictability of his job
What Buck learns: people leave, but you know what will always be there for him? His job. Let's project our entire self-worth onto that, then.
3x18: "What's Next?"
Abby leaves Buck (again, and this time for another man!). It's more like the continuation and finalization of the process she started in the season one finale, but absolutely this gets its own mention. Never mind that Tim said the train was literally a metaphor for Buck. Abby isn't walking off into the vague unknown with this one. She is about to marry a single father (cough cough) and that is the deliberate cut-off to her and Buck's relationship, which leaves him in a bit of a freefall as is obvious during the first bit of season 4 (hello Dr. Copeland, better late than never I suppose).
Why Abby leaves: she found someone who she can be her authentic self with, who she doesn't feel will make her backslide
What Buck learns: everybody walks away, he is always the one left behind, maybe the problem is himself.
4x14: "Survivors"
Eddie almost left Buck. The difference? Abby and Ali both made active choices to leave him. Eddie had to literally get gunned down in the street, through no choice of his own, in order to even be added into this parallel. Considering the culminating events of Buck's story arc throughout the years and especially the plotline we get in season four alone, this is huge, don't you think? I know the writers do, because they literally put up a huge neon sign with the final scene between Buck and Eddie like, "We know Buck always gets left behind at the end of each season but look at this! He isn't! In fact, it's the exact opposite!" and then we're forced to go insane ruminating on the meaning of these choices for an eternity during the hiatus.
This is already obscenely long, and I have some thoughts about other characters and how their main plotlines play out during the season finales, but I'll leave this here for now. Hope this gave you something!
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hezuart · 3 years
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That anaversary aizen looks absolutely fabulous, he looks like a figure skater xd.
I heard along time ago the last arc of the anime was being animated finally bc they pulled a 90s sailor moon were the last season was not either animated or dubbed untill decades later.
I recall near the end of the current 366 episodes there was an episode were the creapy demon ppl woke up in hell and we're all bitter, and there was the other guy who was like, iM cOmEiNg FoR u IChIgO, but then is never mentioned again after and I'm like,why? Why is lt there just plopted randomly into a different arc that seams unrelated.
And locking aizen up underground seems ok, but It deff won't hold, and he will. Escape, and he will kill, you either need that one spell from star, dubbed, the darkest spell of moon the undaunted, a powerfull dark spell that killed immortal beings, that came from best character, eclipsa, the queen of darkness.
We need that.
Or stick him I'm crystal like eclipsa was in star. Is there no one who could trap him in ice or crystal for all eternity.
How about throw him into the centre of a volcano trapped and caged , forverr being killed by heat?
I assume there's space travel, send I'm into a black whole, were a black whole don't fuckin care if your immortal or fat, you will die
:3
Yes, I love anniversary Aizen. His original octopus-butterfly hollow design was ugly so I'm glad he's back to being the fashion icon he is.
Locking Aizen up underground once is one thing, doing it twice after saying he got more powerful by just sitting there, and he escaped to battle the Quincy Soul King God... is another. I think he should have escaped at the end of the Quincy arc. That is the only feasibility.
I heard the anime is coming back for the Quincy arc as well, but because of COVID its probably going to be delayed. (I'm not gonna watch it until the Rain section of the arc then I'm dipping out. I'm only here for Zangetsu)
and funny that you mention that hell scene in the manga :)
-> spoilers for the new BLEACH 73 page anniversary chapter / thoughts/critique on it
So hey you had a premonition! Syazel .... returned? And his hole is outside of his body??? for some reason???
(I didn't understand the explanation or why / how that happens and what that means for the hollow)
And my friend and I were laughing because out of ALL the things. Kubo could do in this anniversary. He gave Syazel his dick back after going to hell. That is iconic. (that's where his hole was located, and now that its not on his body ... well...) This is the funniest thing Kubo has EVER pulled. Kudos to you, sir.
The entire internet is freaking out over Ukitake being in hell. Honestly Kubo has done far worse, and we've established that Soul Society is a corrupt system that hasn't changed, so I'm not surprised he would pull something like this.
At the same time, Kubo 1. cheated his audience. 2. continues to prove me right that he cannot bring himself to kill his characters
1. Hollows who have commit murder in their human life are sent to hell. Syazel and Aaorniero are two of these hollows, and yet, when they are killed, there is NO gates of hell scene. We see them there later in the hell chapter (which was more of a promotion for the fourth movie and I didn't believe it would hold any merit)
But the same goes for Ukitake. We never see the gates of hell take him. What, was hell late? Did hell's gates get lost like an uber before picking him up? It's bull. Withholding such vital information from your audience, not showing the gates of hell when they should pick up this soul IMMEDIATELY is ... I mean its a lie. Kubo lied to his audience.
2. Now we are told powerful shinigami are sent to hell when they die. First of all that sounds like a security threat. Wouldn't shinigami want revenge for that? Or attempt to escape? Why would they still hold loyalty after being sent to a prison of eternal suffering?
Also "Yhwach and Aizen" were the only ones keeping Hell's gates closed is way too convenient and doesn't really make any sense. I feel like Aizen should have deliberately gone to hell to retrieve powerful shinigami / hollows for his army instead of keeping it /closed/.
This is definitely a Kubo-doesn't-know-what-he's-doing-and-is -making- stuff-up-as-he-goes, but it might have a pinch of merit because of previous plot lines.... but either way, there's some big plot holes here, but again, its Kubo, so I expected nothing less.
Again, he can't kill off his characters. He introduced zombification, he introduced immortality through the hougyoku, he has Orihime and Hachigen's reversal / rejection abilities. He brought back Luppi, friggen.... a character who's entire upper half of his body was incinerated. Like.... come on. No. He's dead, you can't bring him back like that. That's a cop out and just weird. You're taking away consequences and grief.
(Also Yamamoto and Unohana deserve to be in hell far over Ukitake, they've done some fcked up stuff in their pasts unlike him)
Also Kubo's favorite character is Mayuri, which.... you're allowed to have a favorite problematic character. But Keeping said character alive and bared from the consequences of abusing his daughter, murdering innocents, and experimenting on your own squad members? Nah. Nope. Kill him, Kubo. Kill this dude.
(his weird attachment to Mayuri is probably why he keeps bringing Syazel back, since Syazel is Mayuri 2.0, but Syazel is the bad guy who does face consequences for his actions while Mayuri is not)
~
Also, I'm certain Kazui and Orihime are going to be THRILLED that their precious husband/dad is going to hell when he dies :)
(I just... Rukia teased Ichigo about leaving Orihime at home. She teased him about having a house wife who he leaves all the chores to. Orihime had two panels. She checks on her son who promised he would be at home and sleep. Kazui fcking breaks his promise like it never mattered to him and JUMPS out the window after pretending to sleep in front of his mother. ... An 8 year old... alone... in the middle of the night.)
Orihime is abandoned. She is not invited to SS, she is not informed of what is going on, her son leaves her.... I...
Orihime is a side character. She doesn't matter anymore. She hasn't mattered for a long, long time.
A part of me is glad she had little screen time, since she tends to waste it, but another part of me is embroiled with rage.
I've even see people try to defend this. "Orihime and Ichigo can't be together ALL the time, that's an unhealthy relationship!" and I'm like guys... that's not the point. The point is Orihime is not part of Ichigo's other life. Any shinigami stuff from now on is none of her business. She's going to stay at home while Kazui and Ichigo go off and save the world. Ichigo is going to be fighting by Rukia and Renji while Orihime watches from the sidelines, or worse, doesn't even know what is going on with her husband and son. Orihime is going to be uninformed and abandoned, because she has not proven she is capable of fighting by their sides(go on, @ me. I will fight this. She's a failure.), and also because she prefers a human life over a dead one. Which is ironic, because she married a dead man. Ichigo is a shinigami, and he will be one forever. god forbid she ever meets his Zanpaktou. She would tremble in fear at the monsters her husband harbors in his soul, especially when she realizes they don't care about her and would rather see her dead. (Zangetsu would absolutely kill Orihime. Not sure about Kazui, but Orihime has not accepted Zangetsu, she does not like either of them, and the feeling is assuredly mutual.) frick now I want to make a comic about this
Also still frustrated over Zangetsu's shikai / bankai regression. Kubo once again lied to his audience. Ichigo has no bankai. How ridiculous is that? The main character of BLEACH doesn't have a bankai. Insulting.
(RIP to Chad. He doesn't exist anymore. He's just gone. No mention, no cameo. Gone.)
Kazui is a demon child. That character from the novels? Hikone? They're the same character. Literally same personality, same power level. Its worse because Kazui is a liar. He constantly goes behind his parents' backs. He can summon creepy fish and creepy eyeballs and open portals like is ANYONE aware of this? How has SS not kidnapped Ichigo's son and experimented on him / locked away his powers yet? All substitute shinigami require a reiatsu controlling / spy badge to keep them in line. Where is Kazui's? Or is he just a weird fullbringer?
I was worried Kubo was gonna try and pull a knock off Boruto but luckily he kept the focus on Ichigo and the others. But that being said, Ichika and Kazui are now just... sort of there? Kazui was kinda just.... having his own adventure that doesn't matter to the plot at hand, and Ichika had some nice characterization at first but she just hid behind her dad the whole time.
I have a feeling Kazui is gonna step in at the last minute or do some major behind the scenes thing that indirectly interferes with the main plot so no one will realize how powerful and dangerous he actually is. Its sad because Ichika is the superior character in personality and likability, but she clearly is not going to have a bigger part in this.
Ichigo having a normal life after everything still feels extremely boring and uncomfortable to me. Everyone's like 'I'm still bLEACH!" but.... BLEACH just... doesn't feel like BLEACH anymore. It hasn't for a while now.
~~~
There's two new shinigami characters. Didn't care for the girl, but the Sign Language kid who talks to animals is adorable ... however... he just reminds me of Chad, and I just... it hurts knowing Chad has essentially been deleted. Chad and Orihime are officially benched. They have chosen the human world, and Orihime has given Ichigo his spawn so she has no more use/purpose to him anymore... ////sigh
~~~
Also. This is claimed to be a new "arc". So is the BLEACH manga coming back? What is happening. I thought Kubo was tired and didn't want to do BLEACH anymore. I thought Shounen Jump cut him off. People made so many excuses for Kubo and why the past two arcs have been so badly written the past 6 years and now almost everything they've attempted to defend him with has been revoked.
BLEACH is going to continue to screw up its plot lines and characters, so Its probably best for it to stay dead but I've seen a lot of Kubo stans drooling over this content, they're desperate for BLEACH's return, but its already given out all its possible revelations. There's really nothing else to top here. It's just going to make things up as it goes along ,and I'm not really here for half-assed writing like that, especially since the damage of rushing the previous manga has already been done. Kubo and Shounen Jump are riding off a money nostalgia. None of this was planned.
Honestly though.... overall feeling of this chapter, not as bad as it could have been.
Syazel stole the spotlight, and he's my friend's favorite character, so that's all that really matters.
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blossom-hwa · 3 years
Text
Skipping Stones - KEVIN
This was the second full scenario I ever finished for The Boyz and I think it was pretty nice to start with some soft Kevin :D THANK YOU KAI FOR LETTING ME YELL TO YOU ABOUT THIS ONE I HOPE IT LIVES UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS. 
Anyway! Happy (slightly early but only by a couple hours??) birthday to one of the best boys in the world, the one and only wonderful beautiful lovely Kevin Moon! I hope you all enjoy this <3 please reblog if you did!
Pairing: Kevin x gender neutral!reader
Genre: fluff, teacher!au
Triggers: cursing, alcohol
Word Count: 7.8k
Falling in love with you, Kevin thinks, is a bit like skipping stones. 
Alternatively:
Five times Kevin felt himself falling deeper in love with you, and the one time he knew he was gone.
TBZ Masterlist | Touching Stars | Breathe, and Live
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prelude.
Kevin knows he exists to be clowned. His sister says it’s something about his face – there’s something undeniably meme-y about his reactions, apparently, that makes him very clownable. His students tell him it’s in his demeanor – he comes off as pretty chill, according to them, which makes him easy to tease because they know he’ll react in some hilarious way, but it won’t affect him too deeply.
(Changmin just says he’s stupid, which makes him clownable to the highest degree, but Kevin refuses to take information from the teacher who still scares him every other week with whichever horror movie mask has recently caught his fancy.)
So Kevin knows he’s just a clownable human being, and he’s resigned himself to that fate for the rest of his life. But around you? His calm, collected, hilarious, wonderful partner? He expected a little less clownery and a little more loving.
“Oh, come on,” you laugh, trying to get Kevin to turn around. Honestly, he’s already feeling the effects of withdrawal from not seeing your smile for more than a few minutes, but he refuses to budge, lips curved downwards in a semi-permanent pout. He knows he won’t be able to keep this up for long (he’ll miss looking at your face too much, and really, he can’t be mad at you about anything), but he can make a scene. “Kevin!”
“You’re so mean,” he whines, still resisting your efforts to make him look at you. “I just poured out a very embarrassing part of my childhood to you and instead of comforting me, you laugh?” His pout deepens. “I don’t know why we’re dating.”
Your hands leave the back of his shoulders. For a second, Kevin thinks you’ve given up and he’s about to start whining about that too, but then you appear in front of him, fingers clasped placatingly. “All right, all right, Kevin.” Still grinning, you grab his hands. “I won’t tease anymore. But seriously, how could you expect me not to laugh my ass off when you told me you learned to skip stones for the –” you make jazz hands, presumably to emphasize your point – “aesthetic?”
Kevin sticks his lip out childishly. “I didn’t think it was that funny,” he mumbles.
“It’s not, not really.” You squeeze his hands. “But it’s a move that’s got Kevin Moon stamped all over it.” As if to accentuate your point, you snort. “Of course you’d learn to skip stones for the aesthetic.”
“Y/N,” he whines.
“Fine, fine, I’ll stop.” Your teasing grin melts into an eager smile. “Hey, teach me?”
“Right now?”
“Why not?”
It feels like Kevin’s physically crumbling to pieces with the way your hopeful voice and sparkling eyes just attack him from all angles. Grudgingly, the deep pout on his lips stretches into a smile, the starstruck smile that all of his friends like to tease him for. “Fine, let’s go.”
He spends the rest of the afternoon stepping around small children and younger couples, trying to find suitable rocks for skipping and teaching you the right angles, the right stance, the right way to hold the stone in your hand before sending it into the water. You learn fast, something he envies – where it took him at least a couple of weeks to perfect the art, you (mostly) pick it up in a matter of hours – but he can’t feel too jealous or too bad when you look up at him after your stone skips once on the water. “Kevin, I did it!” You shake him slightly. “Did you see that?”
The softest smile spreads across Kevin’s face as he kisses your forehead softly “Yeah, I did.”
When he pulls away, you give him the brightest grin before scrambling away to find more stones to skip. Kevin just watches, taking in the way your figure looks against the setting sun, bright gold and pale pink light streaming over your body, almost making you glow.
This is why he fell in love with you, he thinks. Your character, your tenacity, the way you throw yourself into every task you’ve been assigned so that you can complete it as best as you can. It doesn’t matter if you’re trying to treat a new cancer case at the hospital or trying to skip a stupid rock across the water. You always give it your all.
Idly, Kevin picks up a stone of his own. With a practiced flick of his wrist, it goes sailing onto the lake, skipping three, four, five times before sinking beneath the surface.
Falling in love with you is a bit like skipping stones, he thinks, watching the stone disappear from sight. Someone had to force him into that first blind date with you, much like making the first toss of the stone into the water, but every skip after that was quick, effortless, the way he felt himself falling for you, step by stumbling step, until his heart finally gave in and sank below the waves of your warmth.
It’s hard to imagine a time when he wasn’t in love with you, even though such a time did at one point exist. But the way you make him feel with the smallest things you do – the way you scrunch your eyebrows in confusion, the way you rest your chin on your hand in thought – it feels like he’s known you for an eternity and loved you even longer, loved you before time existed.
Your stone skips twice across the water and you shout with joy, racing up to Kevin to celebrate. He catches you when you leap at him, arms wrapping around your waist automatically, smiling into your shining face. Yes, he thinks, he’s in love.
He’s so in love with you.
. . . . .
i.
Kevin, by all definitions of the word, is panicking.
He’s been dreading this blind date for almost a month now, circling the day on his calendar and marking it D-Day, begging Jacob and Changmin to come along and hide in case he needs to be bailed out, relentlessly praying that he’ll be able to leave the stupid date in one piece.
(Look, as much as he appreciates Mrs. Park’s kindness and her brownies, she can be… a little overbearing. To say the least.)
Just a few hours ago, he was putting on his yellow sweater and bemoaning the existence of his pushy coworker. Just a few hours ago, he was lamenting his fate to his two friends (friends is a term he will use loosely for today – all they did was laugh at him). Just a few hours ago, he was cursing the existence of Mrs. Park and her brownies for getting him locked into this date with her sister’s kid. Wait, was it her sister? Or her brother?
(“Yes, her sister,” Changmin says, rolling his eyes. “Pay more attention, won’t you, Kev?”
Kevin groans. “Why couldn’t either of you be chosen by Mrs. Park, huh? Why me?”
“Because I have a partner and Jacob is good at disappearing.” Changmin grins that evil, evil grin he always has on just before he’s about to execute a prank on someone (usually Kevin).
“More like the two of you are good at leaving me to fend for myself against Mrs. Park, even though you know I can’t say no to shit,” Kevin grumbles.
“Give up her brownies,” Jacob suggests.
Kevin gasps. “No way in hell.”)
But now, he’s actually sitting across from you in a café not too far from his apartment, holding a cup of coffee between his (visibly shaking) hands. And he can’t even think of why he was dreading this date so much because you’re just… really, really perfect.
Why are you so sweet? he’s screaming inside. Why are you so funny? Why are you literally the perfect mix of snark and kindness and just – everything?
“So my aunt told me you work with her,” you say, seemingly oblivious to Kevin’s jitters. The smile on your face is really sending electricity racing through his heart. “I know the children must be fun, but I know she can be a bit… overbearing.” There’s a hint of apology in your eyes, like you know your aunt must have pressured him into this and you’re sorry that he had to come on a date with you.
Kevin’s stomach flip-flops. Okay, so Mrs. Park maybe did severely pressure and sweetly blackmail Kevin into a blind date. But Kevin also doesn’t want you to feel bad for it because it’s not your fault at all, so as usual, when he finds himself in a tight spot, his mouth decides it’s time to run.
“No, your aunt is really nice,” he starts. “I really mean it – she’s always very kind to the kids and to the rest of us teachers. I’m still kind of new compared to the rest of them – I’ve only been at the school for a few years now – but she helped me feel welcome that first year when I was still figuring things out. And she also likes Beyonce! You know, the greatest female artist there is? She let me play my entire playlist of Beyonce songs for her last year and she liked every single one of them!”
Kevin’s babbling now. Rambling. Whatever he wants to call it. His brain is screaming for him to stop talking but his mouth won’t stop running because this is what he does when he’s nervous. He talks. Endlessly.
Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the table where Changmin and Jacob are situated in case they need to rescue him from mental or physical harm. The top of Changmin’s head is barely visible behind a huge menu so Kevin can barely see his friend, but somewhere in his babbling haze, he notices a phone camera poking out from behind the menu.
If he wasn’t blushing before, he definitely is now.
Finally, his mouth listens to his brain and he trails off on his last thought on why Beyonce is the best artist in the entire world. There’s a second of silence.
“Sorry,” Kevin finally squeaks. “I… tend to ramble when I get nervous. Or when I talk about Beyonce.”
Your smile flashes even wider. Kevin is torn between wanting to melt into the ground out of embarrassment and staying upright to keep seeing that grin on your face. 
“Don’t be sorry,” you laugh, fiddling with your cup of coffee. “I thought it was cute.”
Kevin’s face burns so much that he misses what you say next. “Sorry?”
You grin. “I’m always interested in hearing about a new artist to add to my playlist.”
Kevin lets out a theatrical gasp. “You don’t have Beyonce in your music library?”
A sheepish look spreads across your face. “… No?”
“Oh my God.” Kevin pulls out his phone. “Okay, I’m about to educate you on the artist of our time.”
The afternoon, then, passes in a flash. Changmin and Jacob eventually just up and exit the café (presumably with enough blackmail to last the rest of Kevin’s life – he knows he was acting like a complete fool, but luckily, you didn’t seem to care), leaving him alone with you. Under any other circumstances, he probably would’ve started crying, but you’re so sweet and so interesting that Kevin thinks he could stay and talk to you in this café forever.
He learns you’re an oncologist at a nearby children’s hospital, that even though the work is hard and tiring and sometimes overwhelmingly depressing, the strength of the children and the families you work with inspire you to keep going every day. He learns that you don’t have too much of a sweet tooth (though you won’t say no to ice cream or cheesecake, both of which he notes in his head), he learns that you love coffee, and he learns that you like to take walks in the park whenever you have a little bit of free time.
He also learns that you’re snarky, intelligent, driven, hardworking. He learns that you’re something far beyond the beauty of your face – that underneath your skin, there’s a heart that’s warmer than the sun.
Kevin understands that this is only the first date and that he maybe shouldn’t be making judgments so quickly. But he’s been told that he’s a relatively good judge of character, and the genuine look in your eyes when you talks speaks volumes about the person deep inside.
Even though you live further away, Kevin takes the bus with you to your home, citing that it’s only polite to walk one’s date to the door (in reality, he just wants to spend a little more time with you). As the bus rattles along the road, Kevin lets you listen to the songs on his phone, delighting in the way your head bobs to the beat of his favorite tracks.
Kevin’s a bit sad when you reach your apartment, sad that your time together is over for the day. He lingers outside the building for a moment, trying to work up the courage to ask about a second date.
Suddenly, you lean forward. Kevin jerks back – he briefly wonders if you’re trying to kiss him – but you just pat a spot on his sweater, frowning slightly at your fingers. “Is that… paint?”
Oh my God.
Kevin tugs the material of his sweater forward so he can see the spot you’re pointing at. Sure enough, there’s a small patch of red paint on the yellow fuzz. He groans. “I didn’t even notice.”
“Well, that’s what people like us get for working with children.” You roll your eyes comically, and Kevin bursts into laughter that’s definitely too loud for the small joke you made. Then silence falls again.
You break it. “Listen, Kevin.”
He perks up. “Hmm?”
“I’ll admit, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this date because my aunt has been trying to set me up with people my age for several years now.” For the first time today, you look shy. “She was probably really pushy with you too, so I’m sorry about that. But I really enjoyed this afternoon.” You meet Kevin’s eyes. “If you’d like, I’d love to go on a second date.”
Kevin’s heart explodes. It really does. Sheer excitement courses through his veins, and he has to stop himself from smiling widely enough to mimic a god damn clown. “I’d love that,” he says trying to hide how eager he really is. “Um, I’ll say that I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this either, mostly because my experience with blind dates has had… limited success. But I’m really glad I met you. You’re a wonderful person.”
Your smile grows wider at Kevin’s admission. “Thank you, Kevin. You’re wonderful too.”
“Do you kiss on the first date?” he blurts out because his brain has no filter. Then he backtracks. “Um, it’s totally okay if you don’t, I was just asking, please don’t think I’m a creep –”
You briefly press your lips to his. Kevin shuts up.
When you break away, Kevin honestly thinks you’re glowing. “Does that answer your question?” you ask, bravely trying to hide something – is that embarrassment? Whatever it is, he thinks it’s adorable.
Kevin blushes. “Yes.”
People probably think he’s insane with the way he’s smiling on the bus ride back to his apartment. He can’t help it, though – the tingling touch of your lips, gentle against his, plays over and over in his mind, along with memories of your lovely voice and your lovely smile and your lovely, lovely disposition. Some people are giving him weird looks, and Jacob and Changmin are sure to tease him to no end when he comes in to work tomorrow.
But who cares? Kevin’s got a second date in the works with one of the most wonderful people he’s ever met.
In his mind, he’s on top of the world.
. . . . .
ii.
Usually, when Kevin gets lucky and scores a second date or a third, he suggests taking his date somewhere with children to gauge how they feel about small toddlers tearing up the place. Children are a huge part of Kevin’s life – he teaches elementary school and knows he wants kids when he gets a bit older – so one of the silent standards he’s set for potential significant others is that they have to like and be good with children.
You work at a children’s hospital, Kevin knows, so you must at least be good with kids, even if you might not like them (hey, it’s possible – Kevin has known many people who are good at things they hate). That fulfills half of the standard. He just needs to gauge the other half.
There aren’t many events at the school coming up, though – no plays, no art exhibitions, nothing he can really invite you to. He’s racking his brains for a third date somehow involving children when you unexpectedly call him about an event at the hospital.
“I know it’s last minute,” you apologize profusely, “but the guy who was supposed to come today for the kids’ music hour called in sick. I don’t want to cancel the event because they always look forward to it and I know you play the piano – would it be possible for you to fill in?”
It is possible, it turns out. He may not be able to pack his Yamaha upright into the back of your car, but he does have an electronic keyboard that fits into your trunk. The whole way there, you’re apologizing, but between reassurances that it’s totally fine, Kevin can’t help but anticipate how you’ll act around the children once the two of you arrive.
Setting up takes more time than he’d like (the extension cord that comes with his keyboard is too short, so you disappear on a twenty-minute manhunt for a longer one while Kevin just stands there awkwardly), which makes him feel slightly like a burden on the rest of your coworkers. They’re so polite, though, so genuine and kind, that Kevin eventually starts to feel more at ease.
(He’s still endlessly grateful when you return, extension cord clasped victoriously in one hand.)
Then the kids start trickling in, and Kevin’s heart immediately both breaks and melts. Some are in wheelchairs, others have lost their hair, but they’re all smiling with so much excitement, chattering to their parents and the staff around them as they settle on beanbags and pillows on the floor. Several look at him curiously and he smiles at them, prompting several questions about who he is, why there’s a keyboard and not a guitar, and why the normal guy isn’t here.
“The usual guy got sick and couldn’t come,” Kevin says to one sweet girl with chubby cheeks and shining eyes. “I’m just here to replace him for a day.”
“Do you play the piano?” she asks, shyly pointing at the keyboard, which more than a few curious souls are standing around.
Kevin smiles. “Yes, I do.” He would say more, maybe offer to show her the instrument a little, but then you’re walking over, and her eyes brighten. “Dr. L/N!” she cheers.
With a loud laugh, you swoop her up carefully, cradling the girl against your shoulder. “How are you, Daeun?” you ask, lips spread in a smile that Kevin knows can’t be faked.
The girl – Daeun – grins. “I’ve been good!” she announces proudly. “Are we going to start soon?”
You laugh again, settling her back down on the floor. Kevin thinks his heart melts with the way your eyes sparkle. “Yes, we are,” you say. “I see you’ve already met Kevin?”
“Your name is Kevin?” Daeun looks at him curiously. “Your name is strange.”
Kevin has to force himself not to coo. “I was born in Canada,” he says. “My Korean name is Hyungseo.”
Daeun’s nose scrunches. “I like Kevin more,” she decides with finality.
Kevin feels brave enough to pat her on the head. “Then you can call me Kevin.”
“All right, Daeun. Go find your mom, okay? Kevin and I are going to finish setting up, and then we’ll get started.” With a soft kiss on the forehead (Kevin makes a sound he really hopes you don’t hear – the scene is just too adorable), you send the small girl off, turning back to Kevin. “Shall we get started?” you ask, grinning widely.
It may only be the third date, but he’s falling in love, Kevin thinks, falling in love with your shining face and sparkling eyes, with the way you shower love upon the children you’ve placed under your care. Right now, you’re everything he’s ever wanted in a future partner – beautiful in character, kind, gentle, fiercely loving.
His heart pounds a little faster.
Belatedly, Kevin realizes you’re waiting for a response and nods quickly. “Yeah,” he breathes, eyes glancing over the sea of children waiting (somewhat) patiently. A smile to rival yours spreads across his face. “Let’s get started.”
. . . . .
iii.
Kevin loves the last Friday of every month, he really does. It’s been tradition for several years now to go out with Changmin and Jacob on what he calls nights for “the boyz” to eat cheap food and get drunk. And no matter how much the others complain about the stupid name (Kevin will admit it sounds stupid now, but that doesn’t mean he’ll change it), he knows they enjoy the nights all the same.
Sometimes, though, Kevin just wishes he had more of a filter on his mouth. If not that, then maybe his brain could stop remembering every single dumb thing he said or did on drunk nights out. It would make his life a lot easier if he could just forget being stupid.
But no, God decided to be mean when making Kevin Moon. So Kevin, as a result, is an emotional drunk. He cries a lot when he hears about sad or adorable things, he says a lot of stupid stuff to (badly) express his overwhelming feelings, and worst of all, he remembers all of it when he wakes up hungover the next morning.
(None of this stops him from getting drunk anyway. Kevin Moon doesn’t learn lessons when it comes to alcohol. When he falls on his face (sometimes literally), he just gets up again, even if it’s with a bloody nose.)
Luckily, the night doesn’t end in chaos. Even though Jacob, who’s half of Kevin’s impulse control, leaves after an hour (he’s meeting with his family the next day, so Kevin is obligated call him a noob – it’s like a law of physics or something), Changmin doesn’t seem to be in the mood to do weird things without Jacob there to stop him, so the night passes relatively smoothly without Kevin throwing, like, a tantrum or anything.
He gets close, though. Because damn, if Changmin isn’t so fucking adorable when talking about his partner. Buried in his purple hoodie, black hair peeking softly over the top, it’s impossible for Kevin not to tear up when Changmin begins gushing over his beautiful, amazing, wonderful significant other whom he just compared to stardust.
Stardust.
Kevin wants to scream, that’s so romantic.
When you come to pick him and Changmin up, Kevin can’t resist relaying all of this to you as soon as he gets in the car. Vaguely, he thinks he should be worried about Changmin hearing it and hitting him, but the boy is mostly asleep in the back, eyes only fluttering slightly when you go over a bump or something. After Changmin gets dropped off at his apartment, Kevin turns the gushing on full force.
“Y/N, the love of my life, he called her stardust,” he’s still babbling even as you strongarm him up to his own apartment. “He’s so adorable. Changmin is so adorable. Oh my God.”
He thinks you snort. Probably. It would be a normal response. “Didn’t you call him the spawn of Satan just a few days ago?”
Definitely a snort, Kevin thinks, but he’s too invested in Changmin’s loveliness to whine about you making fun of him. “Y/N,” he pouts instead, “listen to meeeeee.”
“I’m listening, I’m listening.” You grunt, catching him just as he misses the next step and almost falls forward. “Hey, be careful.”
“’M trying.” Kevin manfully does his best to stop the world from tilting on its side. “But Changminnie.”
“Yes, yes, Changminnie.” Even drunk, Kevin can make out the playful exasperation in your voice. “Keep going.”
“Thank you, love of my life.” Kevin tries to give you a kiss but his lips hit air instead of your cheek. “Heck.”
You burst into loud laughter. “Kevin Moon, you never told me you were this adorable when drunk.”
“Changminnie,” he says more insistently.
“Okay, yes, I’m listening.” You kiss his cheek instead, and Kevin almost topples over right then and there. “Hey, you can’t fall over whenever I kiss you. Tell me about Changmin.”
Kevin starts flailing his arms around as best he can. “He’s so cute!” he half-yells. “He told me his partner was like stardust because she’s so perfect and warm, but she’s also like stardust because… because…”
His lip juts out.
“Oh, no, don’t cry, Kev.” You stop moving, then Kevin registers you bundling him into a hug, patting his head. “I know you’re a sad emotional drunk, but don’t cry.”
“Not crying,” Kevin protests, visibly crying.
“Mhm.” You pat his head one last time before letting go. “Hey, give me a second, I’m going to unlock your door.”
There’s some fumbling and a quiet snick, then Kevin obediently follows you through the door of his apartment. Once inside, you press a thumb to the side of his face, brushing a tear away. “Tell me what Changmin said to make you sad.”
“Changminnie said he’s afraid she’ll… she’ll… slip away between his fingers. Like stardust.” Kevin feels like he’s going to start sobbing any moment now. “He’s afraid she’s going to leave him eventually because she’s too perfect and he’s not good enough.”
“Oh my God.” You sit down on the couch. Kevin follows suit, albeit a lot more ungracefully as he collapses onto a cushion in a tangle of limbs. “Oh my God, that’s so sad and cute at the same time.”
“I said he should call her his star,” Kevin mumbles, turning slightly so he can burrow into your side. “Because stardust. Texted them about it. Both of them.”
Your laugh sounds like music even to the drunken haze of his brain. “Wonder what they’ll think when they see a drunken keysmash on their phones first thing tomorrow morning.”
The two of you sit in silence for a bit. Kevin feels his eyes beginning to get droopy, and he almost falls asleep before a thought strikes him with lightning force.
“I need to give you a nickname!” he almost yells, sitting bolt upright. The movement makes the room spin, but he doesn’t care. This is urgent. “Changmin’s going to call her his star, but I haven’t given you a nickname yet!”
“Kev, Kev.” You hold him by the shoulders, and he relaxes a little. “You can come up with a nickname for me in the morning. Right now, I think you need to sleep.”
“No,” he whines, shifting in your grip. “This is important. You need a nickname.” He sinks into deep, drunken thoughts, the kinds of thoughts he has when he ignores everything around him in favor of getting philosophical after having drunk too much alcohol.
Then it hits him.
“Oh my God,” he gasps. “Oh my God.” It’s his turn to grab you by the shoulders, now. “Oh my God. You’re the sun. Because I’m the moon. Get it? Kevin Moon?”
Through his drunken haze, Kevin thinks he sees you smile, maybe. It looks like a smile.
Your eyes are sparkling. You look happy.
Probably a smile.
“I’m a genius,” he whispers. A genius for coming up with the nickname and for making you happy.
“Sure, Kevin.” You grunt a little as he shifts his weight. “Come on, get up. We’ll see if you’re still a genius tomorrow if you wake up and remember all of this.”
Kevin doesn’t register much for the rest of the night, just remembers falling into his bed and forcing you to lie down next to him. The next morning, he wakes up with a throbbing headache and the vague, ever-present worry that he said something stupid last night.
You’re not in the bed with him anymore. Kevin blinks once, twice, before trying to sit up so to figure out where you went. Then he remembers you don’t live here. You probably went home.
Which is why he nearly goes into cardiac arrest when you appear in his doorway, holding a mug of coffee and a glass of water.
For a moment, the two of you just stare at each other. Kevin’s not sure what thoughts are running through your head, but he knows he’s trying to piece together what happened last night, and whether or not he should be hiding under the covers out of embarrassment.
Then it hits him.
Sun.
Moon.
Genius.
Oh, God.
Kevin wants to die.
“Morning, sunshine,” he says, using your new nickname in the desperate hope that it’ll distract you from remembering the rest of what he said last night.
A catlike smirk curls your lips as you walk over, pressing the glass of water into his hands. A feeling of dread fills Kevin’s heart as he takes it.
“Morning, genius,” you say with enough evil delight to power Changmin for a year.
Kevin groans. “I was drunk.”
“Yeah, I noticed.” Your teasing smile melts into something gentler as you place your mug on the bedside table, turning to bring the glass of water in his hands to his lips. “Coffee’s mine, don’t touch it or I’ll break a bone. Drink the water. I made some breakfast, so come into the kitchen whenever you feel up to it. After you’ve brushed your teeth.”
Warmth courses through Kevin’s body, and it has nothing to do with the alcohol from last night and everything to do with how you’re here in body and mind, sweetly helping him recover from a stupid hangover even when it’s definitely not your problem to take care of and you probably have better things to do. His heart thumps, loud enough that he thinks you could probably hear it.
In this moment, Kevin doesn’t think he’s ever been more grateful for anything than you coming into his life.
“Got it.” He awkwardly tries to salute, but he does it with the hand holding the glass and the water nearly spills onto the bed. As his cheeks flush, you break into snorting giggles.
Even though it’s at his expense, Kevin thinks he would do anything, anything in the world, to keep that wonderful smile on your face and that musical laughter in the air.
. . . . .
iv.
Only when you move in together does Kevin realize just how taxing your job is. He had an idea from when you sometimes had to cancel or move around dates, but when you did meet up, you were usually energetic and cheerful. Of course, there were the token dates where you just came over to Kevin’s apartment or he came over to yours and you just flopped around for a few hours. Outside, though, you always showed a bright face.
But that was because dates were mostly on your days off or when your hours were short, and as a result, you felt good enough, energized enough to show Kevin your brilliant smile. When you first moved in together, Kevin felt a bit surprised – well, maybe not surprised, but saddened – that you didn’t have the energy to smile as brightly as he saw before.
It’s fine by Kevin, though. You smile often enough, and if your teeth don’t show as much as they used to, there’s something beautiful, something calming and sweet in the slower curve of your lips, the gentle, lethargic way you lean up for a kiss. After all, Kevin has enough energy to compensate for when you might lack some of yours.
(It helps that he can cook, he thinks. Even when the kids at school sometimes wear him out, the brief sparkle in your eye that spreads across your lips when you walk through the door to see him stirring something on the stove is more than enough to make up for it.)
You’re cute, too, when you’re tired. Though Kevin loves it when you’re energetic and ready for whatever the day has decided to throw in your path, there’s something so peaceful, so pleasant about feeling you lying lethargically against his side on the couch, scrolling through your phone or reading a book or just resting, doing nothing but breathing softly. Kevin cherishes those small moments, the soft atmosphere where he kisses your hair and you smile, reach up, and press a kiss of your own to his cheek.
Tonight is one of those nights, a night of soft, comforting silence, words few and far between. It’s been a bit warm lately, so Kevin’s elected to wear one of the tank tops he keeps for the warmer months instead of his usual sweater.
You sit next to him on the couch, back pressed to his side as you send off emails on your phone. Kevin’s working too, inputting grades on his laptop. He hums a little under his breath to take his mind off of the monotony of his task.
At some point, you finish, putting down your phone with a sigh and slumping into his ribs. Kevin starts at the sudden movement. “Sunshine,” he whines, even though he could really care less.
“Moon boy,” you parrot in the same tone of voice.
Kevin’s attention turns back to his laptop, so he barely registers you shifting on the couch to a new position. He does notice it, though, when your fingers start trailing along his skin, exposed by the lack of sleeves on his tank top, because your touch tickles.
You completely ignore his resulting twitch of surprise, only keep tracing the skin of his rib cage. Kevin looks down, confused as to what’s caught your attention.
Oh. His tattoos.
“Sunshine?” he asks softly, watching your fingers shift along his skin.
“Mm,” you hum, eyes still fixated on the ink decorating his side.
“Sleepy?”
Slowly, you shake your head, fingers paused on the image of Mickey Mouse. “Not yet.”
He goes back to inputting grades, all the while still aware of your fingers tracing the lines, the curls, the swirls of black ink along his side. When he finishes, he looks over before closing his laptop to see your eyes still focused on his skin.
Something in his heart explodes, spreading a tingly, comforting warmth throughout his body. It’s a feeling he’s come to associate with your presence, a feeling of absolute security, absolute trust, absolute warmth that comes with falling in love with you.
You look up, noticing his lack of movement. “Finished, moonbeams?”
“First moon boy, now moonbeams?” Kevin teases you lightly, picking up the hand you were using to trace his skin and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. Just like every other time he’s ever done it, a wide smile spreads across your face and a shyness sparkles in your eyes, as though you still can’t believe the bliss of the moment.
(At least, that’s what Kevin feels every time you do something to remind him that he’s yours.)
Your voice breaks into his thoughts. “Can’t call you moonshine, that’s an alcohol.” You shrug as best as you can in your stretched-out position. “Moonbeams, moon boy… whatever feels right.”
Kevin puts his laptop on the coffee table. As he leans back into the couch, you curl up into him, one hand still lingering against the Mickey Mouse tattoo on his side. “Tell me about these?” you ask, pressing your fingers a bit more firmly against the ink.
His tattoos are personal, serving as reminders of the past and inspiration to keep moving. Rarely does he share their meanings with anyone (not that people usually ask, because the tattoos are mostly covered by his clothes), and only with those who mean the world to him.
Kevin thinks you qualify as one of them.
Touching your shoulders, he turns you around slightly, just enough to press a short, sweet kiss to the top of your head. “Of course, sunshine.” He smiles, gazing into your eyes, feeling the warmth of your love travel through his limbs. “Which one first?”
. . . . .
v.
Kevin Moon, for the majority of his life, has hovered in between being classified as a morning person or a night owl. Yes, he gets up at six in the morning for a cup of coffee, but he also stays up past midnight doing… stuff. Grading, writing reports, watching cat videos, wasting time.
(When Changmin judges his lifestyle, Kevin just reminds him that he fell in love with his roommate’s hookup and is on a dance team with the parent of one of his students.)
Honestly, if Kevin didn’t remind himself every so often that he’s currently a full adult, his lifestyle would make him think he was still in college. He certainly still acts like it when he isn’t working. Procrastinating? Check. Crying over reports he needs to submit at three a.m.? Check. Flopping around on the floor when life is going badly? Check.
And most importantly: nonexistent sleep schedule? Check.
You put a stop to that real quick when you move in, both directly and indirectly. Directly, you make an appointment for him at a sleep clinic after figuring out his shitty sleep patterns, and Kevin finds out he probably has mild insomnia. The aftermath is horrible – you put him on a strict sleep schedule and all but ban caffeine from his diet (goodbye, morning coffee) – but it helps, after a couple of weeks. He sleeps better. Perks of having a partner who works in medicine.
Indirectly, though, you probably make a bigger difference.
See, the way Kevin thinks about it, he just never had a lot of reasons to stay in bed very long. Even though he appreciates sleep, really appreciates it on long days, it’s just that he can’t really force it if it doesn’t want to come. He’d also rather be doing something productive (or not productive, depends on the asker’s perspective) than lying awake for hours, anyway.
But now that he’s waking up to a face he loves?
Well, even if you sometimes disappear before he wakes (hospital hours are whack as hell, but sadly, you can’t ignore your job), Kevin will just say your warmth is a powerful incentive to stay huddled under the covers, even if he can’t fall back asleep.
He still wakes up every morning to grey light beginning to peek through the window. No matter how hard he tries to sleep in just a little longer, his body can’t seem to stay unconscious past six in the morning, so both of you have just resigned yourselves to the fact that Kevin will always be an early riser.
Before you walked into his life, he would’ve rolled out of bed almost immediately, stumbled to the bathroom (and maybe knocked his knee against the doorframe, who knows), then started brewing coffee in the kitchen to start the day.
Now?
A drowsy smile begins to make its way across Kevin’s face, soft as the morning light, when his brain catches up to the present and he registers your warmth under the covers. Sleepily, he blinks, taking in the sight of your peaceful face buried halfway in the sheets.
You shouldn’t look this beautiful, Kevin thinks, not with your hair strewn all over the pillow, blankets rumpled around your shoulders, arms outstretched so that one sort of curls over his body while the other is held up to your chest. It’s the morning – no one should look pretty and put-together. That isn’t natural.
(Unless you happy to be Kim Younghoon, but that’s another story.)
Yet you somehow look like a sleeping deity in Kevin’s mind, even with your hair a mess and drool drying on the pillowcase. As the drowsiness clears from his eyes, as the light from the window grows brighter, Kevin can barely even think of moving, of disturbing your peace.
He dislikes your alarm. It’s loud, annoying, and hits him with a jolt when he’s just trying to take these stolen morning moments to admire your beauty. When he complains about it the first time, you tell him to serve as the alarm, to wake you up himself.
Kevin counters that he’s an artist, that he needs peace and quiet to give beauty of such a degree the respect it deserves. You just roll your eyes, telling him that if he isn’t going to wake you up, the alarm’s going to have to take that job. The smile on your face, though, and the brief kiss you press to his lips right after, speaks volumes for the emotions Kevin’s words make you feel.
(He loves flustering you like this, even if you pretend his words don’t make you feel some sort of way.)
So eventually, you wake, eyes fluttering as the alarm brings you back to the conscious plane. Kevin’s heart feels like it’s bursting when your eyes fully open, blearily blinking at the world.
“Morning, sunshine,” he whispers, running one hand through your hair.
You lean slightly into the touch, the corners of your lips twitching up. And every day, as he stares into your sleepy eyes, lips curling as you whisper a quiet “Morning, moon boy” in reply, Kevin knows he’s falling, falling in love with every part of you.
. . . . .
+i.
Kevin’s waiting in front of the school when you pull up at the curb. Smiling apologetically, he gives you a quick kiss on the cheek as you step out of the car. “Sorry, sunshine.” He gestures at the two small boys standing beside him, absorbed in their own world. “Their uncle’s running late and Changmin and Jacob have things to do, so I need to wait for Sangyeon to pick them up before we can go.”
“No worries.” You return the kiss, smiling as bright as the sun. Kevin feels a flash of pride for coming up with a nickname that fits you so well. “We have the whole afternoon, don’t we?”
“That, we do.” He grins, squeezing your hand.
“Mr. Moon, who’s that?” a small voice asks closer to the ground. The two of you turn to see Sunwoo and Eric trotting over, curious looks on their faces.
Kevin looks over at you, but you’re already bending down to get to eye level with the two boys. “Oh, hello!” Your grin, if possible, grows wider. “I’m Y/N, Kevin’s significant other. What are your names?”
“I’m Eric,” Eric pipes up. “This is my brother, Sunwoo.”
Sunwoo just stares with round eyes. Well, he’s always been the shyer of the two.
“Those are lovely names,” you reply smoothly, giving Sunwoo an encouraging smile. Kevin feels his heart melt completely at how well you interact with the kids. “I’m just going to be waiting with Kevin until your uncle picks you up, is that okay?”
The two kids nod and immediately go back to babbling in their own little world. Kevin notices the fond smile on your face, and his heart melts even more.
“They’re so cute,” you whisper to him.
“I know, right?” Kevin clutches his heart dramatically. “Can you imagine teaching them every day?”
Just as you’re shaking your head in comic disbelief, another car pulls up behind yours. A harried-looking young man quickly exits and Eric and Sunwoo cheer, distracted by the arrival of their uncle.
“Sorry about this,” Sangyeon says, absentmindedly patting Eric’s head as the boy hugs his leg. Sunwoo seems to be attempting to climb onto his uncle’s back. “Traffic wasn’t the kindest when I was getting out of work.” Then he notices you. “Oh, hello. Are you Kevin’s partner?”
“That I am.” You stick out a hand. “I’m Y/N, and I’ve been told you’re Sangyeon?”
Sangyeon nods, smiling. “Nice to meet you. And to see that Kevin’s found someone to deal with his antics.”
Kevin blushes as you laugh. “Hey,” he complains. “No jokes at my expense, please.”
“Sure, moonbeams.” You roll your eyes, then turn back to Sangyeon. “It’s nice to meet you. Your nephews are adorable.”
The smile that Sangyeon gives the two boys clambering around him says it all. “They are, aren’t they?” He checks his watch. “I’m sorry, I have to go now. My sister’s expecting us back soon, and I’m already a bit late.”
Kevin breathes a sigh of relief. No more teasing at his expense from Sangyeon, at least, though there’s no guarantee from you. “Nice seeing you, Sangyeon. And have a good day, kids.”
A small chorus of “You too, Mr. Moon!” sounds, and Kevin expects that to be the end. Sangyeon will herd the boys into the car, Kevin will follow you into yours, and then you’ll go your separate ways. What he doesn’t expect is for Sunwoo to look out at you from behind his uncle’s leg, round eyes cautiously curious, and ask you a question.
“Y/N?”
Immediately, you turn around, teasing smirk melting into a gentle smile for the small boy. “Yes, Sunwoo?”
Sunwoo’s eyes dart between you and Kevin. Then, softly, shyly – “Do you love Mr. Moon?”
Time seems to stop as Kevin’s breath hitches in his throat at the sudden question, but you only look back at him, eyes soft and sparkling in the sunlight. 
Your answer glitters in your gaze.
Though you’re supposed to be talking to Sunwoo, your eyes stay fixed on Kevin, strong and unyielding, yet gentle and affectionate, as you answer. Your voice is soft when you reply. “Yes, Sunwoo. I do love him.” The smile on your face grows wider as you turn back to the child. “I love him very much.”
Indescribable warmth floods Kevin’s chest and tears prick his eyes. And as Sangyeon hurries his nephews away, as you turn around to unlock your car, one truth burns with absolute, crystal-clear certainty in his mind.
He isn’t falling in love with you, not anymore. No, he’s far past that stage.
Kevin Moon is completely, wholly, irrevocably in love with you.
“Kevin?” You look at him from the other side of the car. “You coming?”
A wide grin spreads across his face as he meets your sparkling eyes. Love blooms in his chest.
“Coming, sunshine.”
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If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3
(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s whipped ass ksjdkgsdhjk)
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mk-wizard · 3 years
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Future Sailor Moon Reboot: Usagi must NEVER become queen!
Hello
As a huge Sailor Moon fan who firmly believes that even now, it is the best magical girl anime series ever written and still withstands the test of time as being feminist, feminine positive, progressive, LGBT+ positive and promoting the message at how love can make us heroes. And it is safe to say that the Crystal and Eternal reboots will not be the last time this exquisite series will ever be brought back to life because Sailor Moon isn’t just a series, it is a franchise and an icon like Wonder Woman, Batman, Spiderman and more.
However, just because I do think so highly of it doesn’t mean I am blind to its flaws or ideas that could have been better hence why I am open to another Sailor Moon series taking a different route altogether kind of like the live action Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon TV series did. Nobody has to agree with me on what I am about to get off my chest and I warn you now that if you have never read the manga or seen any of the anime, you are in for some spoilers.
I believe it would be best for a modern retelling of Sailor Moon if Usagi Tsukino NEVER becomes queen and instead lives out her life as an ordinary person and I think everyone else should do that too. And here are the following reasons as to why and before you get ideas, Chibi-Usa is one of my favourite characters in the series and I want her to stay as she adds a lot to the story. More about how she still fits in and benefits from Usagi never becoming queen.
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1- It is not Usagi’s duty or life purpose to become queen anymore anyway. - The original Queen Serenity didn’t reincarnate everyone to just go back to their old failed lives. She did so because she wanted everyone to live happy peaceful lives which meant being reborn as normal people. She was ok with them never becoming Sailor Guardians ever again or remembering their old lives. All that she wanted was for them to be happy and for her daughter to finally be with the man she loved. The queen even said it herself that the end all be all of Usagi’s life meaning is as a normal girl. She even gave Beryl a second chance at finding happiness in life, but she gave into temptation again which required the gang to rebecome Sailor Guardians and in the case of Usagi, become (the first ever) Sailor Moon. When you stop and think about it, Usagi is not really princess Serenity. She is just the princess reborn. Her life, her personality, her ambitions and even duties are completely different. Usagi’s true obligation in her current life is to be Sailor Moon Earth’s guardian hence why the story is even called “Sailor Moon” not “Princess Moon” or “Princess Serenity”.
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2- Usagi and the rest of the Sailor Guardians as well as Mamoru are better this way. - Usagi going back to her old life means everyone else to go back to their old lives too. And while Usagi is living the dream life as a queen with Mamoru as her king at first glance, everyone is actually getting cheated at their second lives especially when it comes to everyone else. For one thing, the rest of the Sailor Guardians cannot find love, have families or be anything else beyond being guardians, and it was established that everyone was on their way to building their lives as normal people including Mamoru. And that’s especially rough for the Outer Guardians who would then have to go back to just being bound to a post for all eternity all alone. This is really sad for Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune who fell in love because it means they are destined to eventually separate for life. Also, nobody has a shorter stick in Usagi becoming Neo Queen Serenity than Sailor Saturn who will literally have to spend her existence being in some enchanted coma and only awaken to destroy worlds. Nothing about this is romantic or beautiful for anyone really. Everyone is actually getting cheated including Usagi and Mamoru. More on this in the next point.  As for what Usagi does with her life when she becomes an adult, she simply lives out her life and marriage happily with Mamoru who becomes a doctor just as he was studying for while she becomes a housewife like her mother does which is completely ok while they have kids together. And at that point, retires from being Sailor Moon because all evil has been eliminated for now while all the other Sailor Guardians also retire and live happily ever after doing what they want to do. If you ask me, that doesn’t sound so bad.
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3- Usagi already decided she just wanted to be an ordinary person since the end of the Dark Kingdom arc which was the first arc too. - I have reason to believe that Naoko Takuechi herself was open to the idea of Usagi just remaining Usagi hence why in the first anime, Usagi turned back time one year and wiped out her own memories and in the manga as well as Crystal anime, she outright turned down the offer to be crowned queen once the Dark Kingdom was defeated. She did this because she knows what she is and what her limits are. Usagi respects her previous life and appreciates it very much hence why she takes being Sailor Moon seriously, but I since that moment, I go the impression that deep down, she doesn’t see herself as Princess Serenity or as a princess at all and I find that admirable. Accepting that this isn’t who she is anymore is in fact mature and intelligent. Not to mention she also letting go of the tragic past and moving on to the life she was really meant to have. And what I find even better is that Queen Serenity accepted that and considered that as the right choice. Having Usagi still become queen after she made her choice is contradictory and suddenly makes her choice lose all meaning.
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4- Chibi-Usa needs a better backstory and reason for being anyway. - As I said before, Chibi-Usa is one of my favourite characters and I like her being related to Sailor Moon, but I must be blunt; I hate her backstory especially the manga version. I love her, but I don’t like her being 900 years old yet still a kid, a powerless princess, having a crush on her own dad and putting the moves on him as Black Lady, and being the direct daughter of Usagi and Mamoru yet looking nothing like either of them. Dropping the whole Usagi-becomes-queen idea would in fact benefit Chibi-Usa most of all because she has the opportunity to be given a much better backstory and reason for staying in the past that makes sense. I even have an idea for one;
Chibi-Usa is a very distant descendent of Usagi and Mamoru making her their very great granddaughter. Every single person in her family has powers in them, but remain dormant because since the last Sailor Moon (who was their ancestor Usagi, but that fact remains lost to the family), there has been no need for someone else to take up being Sailor Moon or Tuxedo Mask. The Silver Crystal is a secret family heirloom that gets passed down from mother to daughter to be kept safe and secret. By the 30th century, Earth has become a Utopia where Chibi-Usa’s mother is the ambassador of Japan making her a modern day queen in a way. The Ambassador is a sophisticated lady which Chibi-Usa aspires to be, but falls short because she is only a little girl and is very different from her. When the Black Moon Clan invades Earth, the Ambassador tries to get the Silver Crystal to save the day, but her daughter has stolen it not knowing would happen. Once everything is in ruin, Chibi-Usa cannot activate the Silver Crystal because she doesn’t know how, so she goes to the past to find the legendary Sailor Moon using the time key which is one of the many other relics her ancestor Sailor Moon had. Everything would go down the same way except now it makes sense; Chibi-Usa wouldn’t know that Usagi is Sailor Moon because the true identity of Sailor Moon was lost to history even in their family. Also, her having a crush on a teen Mamoru while having more of a sisterly relationship with Usagi makes sense because they have never met before and their relation is very distant at this point. Heck, even her outfit makes sense! She dresses like an average girl because she really is one and that’s ok! After Chibi-Usa rejects the Black Malefic Crystal, her Silver Crystal activates and he becomes the new Sailor Moon of her time. Once all is well and Chibi-Usa (not her mother) repairs all the damage done to the Earth, she makes peace with her mother and stays for a while in the past to be trained because there are no Sailor Guardians in the 30th century.
Now that I got my idea out of the way, back to the list...
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5- Usagi not being queen doesn’t change anything important. - Everything that happens in the story of Sailor Moon happens while she is Usagi Tsukino not as a queen and even the Black Moon Arc can still work with some rewriting as I have suggested. So is it really such a huge loss for her to never become queen? Even with the Dead Moon Circus arc, that was not Usagi ascending to the throne because at the end of it, she just went back to being Usagi. Even at the end of the Stars Arc which is the final arc of the story, she doesn’t become queen. In the manga and in the live action TV show, she just marries Mamoru and even then, as Usagi. Dead Moon Circus arc was more like a story that showed Chibi-Usa’s growth as a Sailor Guardian as well as putting the last bit of the Sailor Guardians tragic previous lives to rest.
So that’s my argument. I say let’s not add frosting to an already iced cake. What do you all think and what is your input on this subject or perhaps your counter arguments? I would love to hear them.
Thank you for listening and as always, stay safe and have a great day.
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animepopheart · 3 years
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Wonder Egg Priority, Episode 7: The Scars to Prove It (or, Love for the Moms, the Cutters, and the Drunks)
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Wonder Egg Priority (WEP) has felt like the successor to Puella Magi Madoka Magica in many ways throughout its run, but in episode seven, it almost went full Madomagi by driving the stakes to their utmost height—to the death of one of the main characters. But as has been consistent with WEP, what it did instead, after some moments of true worry, is to instead deliver hope in the face of pain, resolve against overwhelming circumstances, and strength in weakness.
The series returns to Rika Kawai’s story in this episode, which starts with her turning 14. And on her 14th birthday, after leaving her hungover mother halfway asleep at the bar she works at and which they call home, Rika opens up to the rest of the girls, explaining that she doesn’t know her father (it could be any of five possibilities, or even more) and her mom won’t reveal any further information about him. As she trashes her mom, Neiru and Momoe are incredulous, which only drives Rika away from them. And though Ai goes to comfort her, Rika is in a terrible state of mind as she enters her next fight.
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This was a difficult episode to watch. They’ve all been somewhat hard since the series never shies away from brutal and violent situations impacting young people, but I found myself squirming especially here as Rika’s cutting takes center stage. At one point, she decides to cut herself and it seems certain she will, before her turtle-like partner, Mannen, prevents it from happening.
Challenging, also, is how strained Rika’s relationship is with her mother, who’s life revolves around drink—alcohol both pays the bills and helps her forget how miserable her existence is. And in the midst of all the bad behavior in this episode—the usual Rika talk, her mom’s alcoholism and neglect, and the selfishness all around, one begins to feel deeply sorrowful for the Kawai women. Yes, Rika is often obnoxious, but her family life is in shambles, and she still exhibits goodness, including a curiously gentle relationship with Mannen. And Rika’s mother is a tragic figure, used by men and quite on the road to an early death, it would seem, unable to lift herself out of the gutter as she tries, in her own sloppy way, to protect and reach out to her daughter.
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It’s in this hopelessness that Rika turns again to cutting, and then finds herself tempted by something even more dangerous. Her foe this time is a religious leader who led the egg, a follower who continues to believe in him, to commit suicide as a way of “connecting” with the universe (Heaven’s Gate, anyone?). Rika decries the ghoul as a charlatan, but is confronted with her own weakness when the egg shows her own scarred arm to Rika, revealing that she can tell that the latter cuts just like she did. And then she explains that Rika can be released from this pain.
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The scars, evidence of what Rika does to cope with her pain, now become the weakness that they truly are, revealing how hopeless she feels, and how powerless she is against the mechanizations of her family life. And defeated, she’s about to allow herself to be killed when a surprising savior comes along—a turtle. Mannen attacks the spiritual leader, to Rika’s surprise as well, until she remembers that he has imprinted on her. Rika is Mannen’s mom, and as he did when he prevented her from cutting, Mannen is again protecting his mother.
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The conclusion that Rika reaches is unusual but inspiring. She understands, in this moment, the need to protect one’s mom, finally admitting to herself in a de facto way that maybe her mother is in need of love, too. It’s funny to consider the need that mothers have for love since culturally and socially, they’re always seen as the providers of it. But of course, they need it in return, especially when they falter. My own mother is sick right now, and I think of the support I need to give her and the lack of that I’ve provided through the years.
Warning: Screenshot involving cutting after the jump.
My mother was a good one, however. Rika’s, on the other hand, has struggled with the charge, which reminds me of a story from one of my favorite books, The Ragamuffin Gospel, about another bad parent—a far worse one, in fact, and a real one. I’ll quote part of the passage from chapter seven:
“‘Our daughter Debbie wanted a pair of earth shoes for her Christmas present. On the afternoon of December 24, my husband drove her downtown, gave her sixty dollars, and told her to buy the best pair of shoes in the store. That is exactly what she did. When she climbed back into the pickup truck her father was driving, she kissed him on the cheek and told him he was the best daddy in the whole world. Max was preening himself like a peacock and decided to celebrate on the way home. He stopped at the Cork ‘n’ Bottle–that’s a tavern a few miles from our house and told Debbie he would be right out. It was a clear and extremely cold day, about twelve degrees above zero, so Max left the motor running and locked both doors from the outside so no one could get in. It was a little after three in the afternoon and…’
Silence.
‘Yes?’
The sound of heavy breathing crossed the recreation room. Her voice grew faint. She was crying. ‘My husband met some old Army buddies in the tavern. Swept up in euphoria over the reunion, he lost track of time, purpose, and everything else. He came out of the Cork ‘n’ Bottle at midnight . He was drunk. The motor had stopped running and the car windows were frozen shut. Debbie was badly frostbitten on both ears and on her fingers. When we got her to the hospital, the doctors had to operate. They amputated the thumb and forefinger on her right hand. She will be deaf for the rest of her life.'”
Max—a real person, mind you—was a successful, well-liked man, but his drinking problem led to an unconscionable decision and profound failure as a parent. And yet, this book is about grace, an idea which to humans feels unjust, but  which has the power to change hearts and tear down walls, sometimes literally.
Could Max be given grace? Could Rika’s mother? If not directly, she’s done her own physical damage to her daughter in the form of those cutting scars (difficult and perhaps triggering images below). As mentioned earlier, the egg that she’s helping knows her pain and insists that letting go of everything, including life itself, is the way to peace. After all, to a young, suffering girl, what else could these scars mean?
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But in the midst of giving up, in the moment that she actually capitulates (and this episode takes you 99% to the edge, both in the cutting scene and in the apparent death scene), Rika experiences something powerful. She experiences grace.
Have you ever been challenged to forgive someone when you don’t want to, when you feel completely in the right? Maybe it’s easy for you, but perhaps it isn’t. The girls surrounding Rika experience differing degrees of this with her sometimes maniacal and often hurtful behavior. Ai forgives easily. Momoe gets fired up and then equally seeks to make peace. And Neiru…well, Neiru holds onto “justice” more than love (setting up what I imagine will be the most powerful transformation in the series of all, in true Homura fashion). But in the moment that Rika is about to give her life, the girls yell out their love for her, even Neiru, and then more profoundly, without any hesitation, Mannen puts his own life on the line to stop the death from occurring. Rika has already given up, but this turtle hasn’t—not for his mother, whom he loves very much.
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And experiencing that love from a different angle, Rika is changed just a bit. She begins to see her weakness as a “mother,” failing her turtle-child, and thinks of her own mom who is overwhelmed by hurt and a failure as well. And if just a little—for as the final scenes indicate, it is just a little—the path toward forgiveness begins.
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But a little bit of grace is like a little bit of a flood—its power overwhelms, and it defeats the enemy, whether that means bitterness, a physical person (or manifestation of one), or the devil himself.
When Rika returns from the event, having killed the cult leader monster, it’s interesting to note that she isn’t a wholly different person. She’s changing little by little. And her scars remain. In fact, as she admits, she probably will cut herself again. But strangely enough, those scars now represent something different. They show someone trying—failing, yes, sometimes considerably and maybe very often—but trying, and only able to try because love was shown her, and through that, she is now able to show love as well.
You may have such scars in your life, physical or emotional, battered by the world and by people. I hope that you can develop relationships that help you heal as well, and that you’ll also remember that there are other scars which are meaningful to you, but which you cannot see on your person, scars that were borne out of a desire to heal you. Christ took the piercings, on his head, hands, feet, and side, so that while your heart and flesh may be cut, your soul need not be. And through his wounds, you may be healed.
The grace offered through Christ is one that, as he explains about everlasting water at the well to the Samaritan, for now and through eternity. The egg seeks peace forever by dying, but Jesus, unlike the cult leader, died for us so that we may not have to. He took the nails, the cross, and the spear so that we don’t have to inflict pain on ourselves and receive the punishment of our actions against him and others. He is our scar.
That’s grace. That’s the power that it has. And it can reach anyone—even a terrible dad, an alcoholic mom, a tempestuous child, and, and most significantly and personally—you.
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If you’re suffering and in pain, maybe self-inflicted, we encourage you to explain such to a parent or trusted adult and ask for help. It’s a difficult first step, but one that will help you begin recovering. And we also advise that you turn to Christ for help—in prayer, community, and scripture. He provides people to us that will aid us in our times of need, as well as himself and the Holy Spirit if we are believers.
Additionally, there’s a scene in this episode where triumphant, Rika concludes that cutting is okay. That’s said in the context of her moving forward bit by bit and forgiving herself for her failures, even the upcoming ones. That’s an important lesson, though we must certainly be careful not to let it be a license to continue cutting with impunity.
Wonder Egg Priority can be streamed through Funimation. Read more of our articles by signing up for our weekly newsletter.
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mindmeltonabun-blog · 3 years
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Doom At Your Service: Analysis & Theories for EPs 7-8
Welcome back to another edition of analyses and theories time with me! I’m going to try and keep this post as short and as simple as possible. In case I don’t, I apologize in advance! Also, sorry if this post is filled with grammar mistakes and confusing syntax...I'm writing/editing this late at night and my ADHD meds have lost their effectiveness.
Anyways Eps 7-8 was pretty awesome and I’m glad that a bunch of my previous theories had come true! For those who wonder how I come up with some of these theories, I just look at everything whether it be big or small. I also try to look for connections and patterns. At the same time, I try to understand the motivations of characters and what is the big picture the writer is trying to paint. Once you're able to do all of that then you can predict where the story is going. This is how for the most part I was able to predict the events and endings of shows like TOTNT and TKEM. Anyhow, let’s get down to analyzing and theorizing! Turn on those thinking caps!
What the Rock Balancing Structure Represents
Rock balancing is a form of art that involves a person placing a combination of rocks in an arrangement. To achieve balance of the rocks, one must be very patient and compassionate. In its completion, the structure represents that while things may appear impossible, they are actually possible. So what seems impossible, but can actually be possible? Hmmm probably Myul Mang learning what it means to be human and ending up becoming human. Notice that both the rock art is next to the plant and the story of Pinocchio? It's saying saying that the impossible can be possible. It's possible for Myul Mang to be able to learn what it means to be a human so that the impossible can happen...he can "grow" up to becoming a real human.
The whole rock balancing structure could also signify that in order to grow, one must overcome one's deepest fears. I don't know about you all, but stacking rocks is a scary thing especially since at any moment the whole thing could fall over. Anyways, if you remembered, Myul Mang had been searching everywhere for Dong Kyung and feeling like one of his worst fears (Dong Kyung not existing) had came true. It's only when he goes to Dora's hospital room and sees both the Pinocchio book and rock structure that he got Dora's lesson. And that's why afterwards you didn't see Myul Mang going on another search for Dong Kyung somewhere else.
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A brief digression. I’ve seen multiple people theorizing that the plant and the butterfly represent Dong Kyung and Myul Mang respectively. To them I say, did you just completely miss the part where Dora says the plant is Myul Mang? Myul Mang is both the butterfly and the plant. For those who still don’t see that, let me break it down.
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First, what do butterflies symbolize? They symbolize metamorphosis, death, and rebirth. Myul Mang is not a literal butterfly, but he will eventually be one in a metaphorical sense. If anything, Myul Mang right now is like a caterpillar on the verge of entering the cocoon stage that is followed by a reemergence as a butterfly aka human. You can also look at it this way, Pinocchio is a butterfly too. Why? Well, look at what happens to Pinocchio. He is reborn as a real boy after having gone through metamorphosis (puppet -> real boy).
Now let’s examine the plant symbolism. What do plants represent in DAYS? They represent humans. What is Dora growing? A human Myul Mang..DUH!! Sorry, but I didn’t think it was that hard of a concept to grasp especially since Dora has already explicitly said what she is growing in that one scene. For Myul Mang to grow up to become a "good" human, he needs to learn to think about others, forgive himself, be compassionate (not only towards himself, but others as well), love others, etc. Other things Myul Mang would probably need to learn is how to love his fate or amor fati (loving your fate means loving it all, not just the good parts, but the bad parts too; loving it so much so that you would never want to change anything about it and would gladly relive your life the way it was over and over again for all of eternity).
I don’t think the "plant" will fully "blossom" until Myul Mang sacrifices himself to save Dong Kyung for the sole reason that he loves her (in contrast to sacrificing himself for his own personal gain). Therefore, that's probably the final lesson -- how to be completely selfless.
Dora just wants her son to grow up to be a "good" plant (human) so she doesn't have to end up pulling him out aka end him before he even becomes human! Okay???
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Sorry if what I've just said was confusing. What I meant to say is that Myul Mang's personal growth is reflective in the plant's growth. The more he learns of what it means to be a "good" human, the more the plant will grow until it blossoms into a beautiful flower (a real human).
If we want to connect the idea of personal growth to the story of Pinocchio, we see that Pinocchio's growth occurs only after he experiences pain (physical and emotional) and love. From these experiences, he learns what it means to be a "good" boy and is rewarded by the Fairy transforming him into a real boy.
One Wish or Wishes?
In my previous post, I had briefly touched upon how I think Dong Kyung is going to wish for brain cancer to be cured. Though I still think this, I nevertheless want to explore some of the other possibilities of what her wish could be.
Potential Wishes:
1) Myul Mang to Become Human
2) More Wishes
3) Contract to be Voided
4) No One Remembering Her After She Dies
For #1, Dong Kyung wishes Myul Mang to become human, but then she still dies from her untreated brain cancer…so nope. For #2 and #3, are these wishes even allowed? I would like to point out some flaws of the writer. Maybe it’s not so much a flaw, but an annoyance I have with the writer of DAYS. What one can or cannot wish for is not explicitly stated. Due to this, it is somewhat difficult for me to accurately predict what Dong Kyung will wish for. It’s like trying to detect a substance without being given its upper and lower limits or range of detection (sorry for the science related analogy) ! For #4, I guess this one could be probable, but there is just too much evidence pointing to Myul Mang's death. After exploring each of the possibilities, I'm still left thinking that Dong Kyung's one wish will be to cure her cancer.
Anyways, even if Dong Kyung wishes for her brain cancer to be cured, it’s not really a happy ending since Myul Mang still dies. Is there any other way for Dong Kyung to make another wish so that she can save Myul Mang? I think there is and it comes in the form of the “gift” that Dora gave Dong Kyung. In my previous post, I had theorized that the marble may have a larger purpose than just being a symbol of how the fate of the world is Dong Kyung hands. I believe now that the marble’s larger purpose is that it is a type of wish fulfilling stone. Why? Because we know fantasy dramas typically make references to mythology. In this case, the writer of DAYS is probably referencing Hindu mythology.
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In Hindu mythology there are 3 main gods:
1) Brahma: The Creator
2) Vishnu: The Preserver
3) Shiva: The Destroyer (Sounds like Myul Mang right? Also, the love story between Shiva and Parvati is somewhat similar to that of Myul Mang and Dong Kyung’s love story.)
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Dora is the equivalent to the god Vishnu in Hindu mythology. Vishnu is often depicted wearing a “Cintamani”, a type of wish fulling stone analogous to the Philosopher’s Stone (hint hint…transforms something from one form into another…immortal -> human) in Western mythology. Given this, the marble/Cintamani in Dong Kyung's possession could be the key to Myul Mang’s rebirth.
Some might ask, “Well why can’t Dora just use it to wish for her son to be reborn as a human?”. Well, remember that both Dora and Myul Mang are slaves to the wishes of humans. They themselves cannot fulfil their own wishes or desires. Meaning, even though Dora and Myul Mang can wish for something to happen, they cannot carry it out unless humans wish it too. Also, as I mentioned previously, deities in kdramas never just give humans gift because they’re being nice. Rather, they give gifts to humans so that humans can help them accomplish their overall goals/wishes.
So putting it all together, do you see where I’m going with this? Dora has the same wish as Dong Kyung which is for Myul Mang to live, but Dora is unable to execute her goals/wishes unless Dong Kyung wishes it too. Dora knows that Dong Kyung will probably use her one wish to cure her brain cancer. At the same time, this leaves her son, Myul Mang, to die. Therefore, Dora gives Dong Kyung the wish fulfilling marble with the intention that Dong Kyung will use it to wish for her son, Myul Mang, to be reborn as a human. With Dora/Dong Kyung’s wish, Myul Mang will be free from his cursed life as an immortal and be reborn to be able to live happily with Dong Kyung.
Side note, the rebirth of Myul Mang into a human can either be dependent on Myul Mang's personal growth or it can be dependent on this wish fulfilling stone or both! I'm leaning more towards his personal growth as being the catalyst for his rebirth, but who knows! It very well could be that the marble has a role to play in his rebirth.
Is Dong Kyung Going To Be An Immortal?
No…no…and NO!!
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Some might ask why don’t I think this? Well, for a bunch of reasons. I’ll admit I used to think that it would be very romantic for a human to become immortal so that they can be with their immortal lover forever. However, the more I thought about it, I came to the realization the notion of forever is not romantic nor beautiful. At its core, the concept of eternity is quite terrifying and ugly. And if you haven’t realized already, the writer of DAYS has been making multiple arguments against immortality. For anything to have meaning, it must have an end. In this sense, the end is beautiful.
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To get my point across, I want you to try and think about some things. What keeps life meaningful? Experiences? People? Well, imagine doing something you love for a year. Now imagine doing it for trillions or zillions of years. Experiences no matter how good they are at first will eventually become tedious if you do it for long enough. For example, eating your favorite dish may be good for a while, but not for zillions of years. At one point or another, you ultimately lose your desire to want to eat it or eat entirely for that matter.
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Now surely getting to know people and loving them can keep your life meaningful right? Well, how many times do you think you could handle knowing and loving people who eventually disappear? Eventually, you grow tired of crying and mourning over dead loved ones that you become numb. Now imagine being Dong Kyung. She would have to witness her family, their family, and so forth dying over and over again for all of eternity. Doesn’t that seem tortuous? Sure, one could argue that at least she has Myul Mang with her, but do you really think her love for him could sustain her forever? The relationship between Myul Mang and his mother, Dora, is a prime example of how a loving relationship could turn sour over a great deal of time. The gift of immorality Dora bestowed on Myul Mang became a curse instead of a blessing. So why would Myul Mang want to give Dong Kyung something that was basically a curse for him? As for Dora, she probably wouldn’t want to give Dong Kyung the same gift after seeing what it did to her son.
If you continue to think that Dong Kyung will become an immortal being, did you really smell what the writer of DAYS was cooking or did you just smell what you were cooking?
The Bad Case of the Riddles
From what I have been reading on multiple platforms now, it would seem that a lot of people are rather confused about a lot of things. It’s understandable! Throughout the show, the writer has presented some complex philosophical concepts that may be difficult for some viewers to grasp. To further add to the confusion, the characters at times do speak in what appears to be riddles. This I believe may be one of the major flaws of the writer. She has to consider that her audience are probably people who have never read any philosophical works before. Most viewers aren’t here to decipher cryptic messages or see how they’re connected to some major philosophical concepts such as eternal recurrence, existentialism, nihilism, amor fati, etc. Most are here to shut off their tired brain and enjoy some good fantasy romance! I know I’m totally one of those people!
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Needless to say, I did find myself in a debate of whether I should discuss some philosophical concepts referenced in the show as to help you all gain a better sense of understanding. However, I concluded that it would take too much of my time to do so. Additionally, despite my best efforts to use the simplest of words, I found that whatever I had already written may have still been confusing to the everyday reader. Anyways, if there are any particular scenes or dialogue you all want to me go over, please feel free to use the ask button and I’ll do my best to try and answer them!
Whats Going to Happen Next?
Probably more filler type stuff aka more bs. It's common in kdramas for characters to go back and forth on their initial decision of whatever. Dong Kyung is going to break up with Myul Mang because she loves him and doesn't want him to die. And before the breakup, she's going to give him some good memories to remember her by. Following this, she's going to try and love herself so that she's the one that ends up dying and her wish is going to be for everyone to forget her? Okay......Zzzzzzz!! Idk... Dora is probably going to intervene somehow to get Dong Kyung and Myul Mang back together again.
Other Random Thoughts
What I think would be interesting to learn about is the connection between Dong Kyung's parents death and Dora past self's death. It wasn't just all a coincidence that they both died on the same day. Who knows... maybe Dong Kyung was meant to be in the car that day with her parents, but Dora's past self sacrificed herself to change Dong Kyung's fate.
Also, I still don't think Dong Kyung is going to die, I mean you got her brother praying to the deities that she lives!
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Okay, I'm done. I wrote this in Microsoft Word and it was 5 pages long. My brain is dead. There's probably something I should've gone over or elaborated more about, but oh well. Thanks for reading this disjointed post!
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winterscaptain · 4 years
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long shot.
Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader a joyful future fic - no context required
a/n: this is in response to this ask in kind of a loose way, and also fulfills kiss prompt #6 (on a falling tear). i sat down and wrote this all in one sitting this weekend and it makes me smile SO MUCH. tell me what you think! i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it :) this one takes place in au!december 2012
words: 2.3k warnings: alcohol use/mention, allusions to sex, language
summary: “i couldn’t have dreamed you into existence because i didn’t even know i needed you. you must have been sent to me.” - kamand kojouri
It’s a rare early night off in December and you all make the ill-advised choice to go to the bar closest to the base for some drinks and dancing, completely forgetting that academy graduation is tomorrow. 
There’s part of you that feels aged by the whole thing. Even newly-minted agents your own age look fresh-faced and about a decade younger than you feel. 
When you all walk in, there’s a bit of a hush, a lull, in the conversations around you. You find eyes on you from all directions and realize your faces are familiar ones, and in the case of Aaron and Dave, almost-famous ones. 
Aaron pulls you further into him, almost shielding you with his body as you navigate through the crowd that parts before you. It seems like an eternity before you find a table, but Derek, Aaron, and Spencer hold down the fort while the rest of you manage drinks. Strategic postings at either end of the bar is likely going to get you the best return, so you fan out accordingly. 
It’s unsurprising in the least when the bartenders make a beeline for you all, getting your orders down and drinks started over the shouts of NATs - many of them already blasted with three or four shots under their belt. 
While you wait, you can still feel a fair few pairs of eyes on you. You meet one pair, set in the face of a rather handsome new agent about your age. He smiles at you, and you shift your eyes away from him, your expression unmoving. 
He apparently takes that as invitation enough. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him as he winds his way to your side. 
You meet Aaron’s eyes across the room, and there’s a smile in them. You offer the smallest twitch of your lips and a wink. Watch this. 
Oh, I’m watching, his eyebrows say. 
“Hi.” The young agent finally reaches your side and offers his hand. You take it. “Agent Mark Sullivan.” 
You smile thinly and introduce yourself. “So, I take it you’ve just received an assignment?”
He laughs, making an attempt at charm. “Alright. You’re a profiler,” he says with confidence. “What gave me away?” It’s a challenge.
It’s also a long shot. A really really long shot. 
There were plenty of people in the vicinity that would be reeled in by his warm smile and handsome jawline, but your fine man (currently sprawled back in his chair with an arm on the back of the chair and a hand over his mouth to cover his smile) stands head and shoulders above the rest, sometimes literally. 
“Well,” you start, making a show of eyeing him from head to toe, “Your papers are still in your pocket and you’ve left your ID tag on, against academy and bureau regulations.” 
He startles and snatches it off his lapel, tucking it into his pocket. 
With a little smile, you soothe his embarrassment - it’s a play only designed to endear yourself to him. “It tells me you’re proud, excited. I felt the same way when I received my assignment and credentials. It’s a significant accomplishment.”
You can’t quite tell in the irregular darkness in the room, but he looks almost like he’s blushing. “Thanks.” He collects himself after a moment, putting his bravado back on. 
Your eyes flicker to Hotch once, twice. He’s still watchful. Amused. 
“So, I was lucky enough to see your lectures with the BAU and I must say...it’s impressive.” 
He says that like it’s some kind of validation. 
I need validation from this clown like I need a hole in the head. 
“Thanks. I’m usually rather modest, but I think it’s alright to say the BAU is a very fine unit.” If you’re honest, you’re talking about one particular unit chief’s...um...unit, specifically, but that’s neither here nor there.
He smirks. “What would you say if I told you I got a placement on one of the BAU teams?”
You raise your eyebrows. “Really? That’s quite the accomplishment.” A pair of arms wind around you and a kiss is pressed to your temple. 
It would also be a lie.
You smile and flip in Aaron’s arms, completely ignoring poor Mark. “I was just getting you a drink,” you explain, gesturing vaguely to the bar behind you. 
“I see. Did you get me -”
“Double scotch, neat, aged at least fifteen years? Yes, sir.” 
He smiles. “You know me so well.” 
“I sure do.” You pull him down by his tie and plant a firm kiss on his lips and shove him off with a smile. “Go. Sit. I’ve got it.” 
You turn back to Mark with a breathless sort of laugh. Aaron always makes you feel a little flushed and you’re happy to play it up for the benefit of the moment. “Sorry about that.” 
Mark, you find, is reconsidering his strategy. His face, while still outwardly warm, harbors a kind of calculated look to it that would almost be funny if you weren’t so eager to see what kind of trick he’d pull next. “So, Hotchner?”
“What about him?”
Mark shrugs. “I dunno. Doesn’t he have a kid?”
You nod. “Yep.” 
“And he’s a widower, right?”
“Yes.” 
Mark laughs a little. “Wouldn’t it be kinda nice to, I dunno, have some fun for a little while?”
You frown at him, and your drink arrives at the hands of the frazzled bartender. You pull the fifty from your sleeve and pass it to him with a smile. After a sip, you ask. “What do you mean?”
“It seems like a lot to take on, you know?” He backpedals upon seeing your squint. “I mean, I’m sure he’s a great guy, but wouldn’t it be nice to have someone...I dunno -” He restores his confidence and leans on the bar. Again, his moves would probably work on someone else, but you were a lost cause. “- easier?”
Aaron’s scotch arrives. You pick it up in your free hand and shrug somewhat breezily. “Maybe.” 
You brush past him, leaving Mark a little confused and a bit stunned. When you return to the table after much jostling, you take a seat right on Aaron’s lap and pass him his drink, reclining in his arms. Scanning over the crowd, Mark’s frowning face sticks out like a sore thumb and you try not to look too smug. 
Other than Rossi, the rest of the team is already out on the dance floor, so you know Aaron doesn’t mind having you close. 
He sets his scotch down and wraps his arms around you kissing the underside of your jaw. You lean into his touch and smile. 
There’s nothing easier than this. 
+++
There’s something a bit sulky about Aaron when you settle next to him in bed. You squint at him, looking for his eyes as they follow the loose pattern on the bedspread. 
“Hey.” You bump his shoulder with yours. “What’s on your mind?” 
He shakes his head a little, still not meeting your eyes. “Nothing. Just thinking.” 
With a roll of your eyes, you throw the covers off and sling a leg over him, straddling his thighs. You tap your palms on his pecs on-beat with your begging. “Come on. Tell me tell me tell me tell -”
“Jesus, alright!” He cuts you off with two hands over yours, his thumbs running fondly over your knuckles. “I just…” He huffs, already a little frustrated with himself for feeling put out. 
You slide your hands out from underneath his, running up over his collarbones and shoulders to find the hair at the nape of his neck. 
“I couldn’t help but overhear…”
You let all your breath out in a huff. “Oh, Aaron. He’s a stupid NAT who knows the only way to come after you is to come after your history.” You kiss his cheek and tuck into him. “He was trying to be a big-dick boy and it didn’t pay off for him.” 
There’s a halfhearted laugh from underneath you, and his hands wander across your back. “He is right, though. It would be easi-”
“If you say ‘easier,’ Aaron Hotchner, I’m going to lose my shit.” 
He sighs, and you pull back, tipping his chin up with a finger. 
“Hey. I love Jack. He is not an added weight in my life. He does not make my life harder in any way. Your son,” you emphasize with taps on his lips, “is the light of my life and I wouldn’t ever want to be without him.” 
Aaron’s eyes get a little misty. For his sake, you ignore it and continue. 
“I never feel like a replacement for Haley. I’ve never once minded leaving room for her in our lives because she’s my friend and I love her and I love you. I loved you before we lost her and I’ve loved you long after. This baggage keeps my feet firmly planted on the ground.” 
Aaron takes a deep breath, and his voice has the smallest of wavers when he speaks. Before he even starts, you concede to let him share what he’s feeling, if only to rebut it. “But you could - you could have so much. You could have someone ten or fifteen years younger who - I don’t know - could do things with you that thirty-somethings do. You wouldn’t have to spend your weekends at soccer games or your evenings rubbing Icy Hot on my bad knee or dealing with me on rough pain days or raising your voice because I can’t hear shit on my right side.” 
He shakes his head, and you brush the tears that fall with your thumbs. “You could have - You deserve, so much more...” The rest of his words go unspoken, but you hear them anyway. 
You deserve so much more than me.
Your eyes sting and you blink rapidly, letting your tears wet your lashes. Leaning forward, you kiss away his remaining tears, shifting your weight to wrap your legs around his waist and get as close as you can. 
With your head on his left shoulder, you whisper, “Aaron, I don’t want someone ten or fifteen years younger. I don’t care what I’m doing on my evenings and weekends because I get to spend them with you.” 
You pause for a moment. “And, I don’t need boys. I’m done with boys.” 
You lean back, looking him square in the eye, or at least trying to. “I have a man who has silver in his hair because he worries and is in his mid-forties and it doesn’t fucking matter. I have a man who is the subject of so many crushes and fantasies at the academy it makes me want to vomit.” You laugh a little at your own joke, but he’s still focused on the seam of your shirt at your collar. Changing gears, you bring your hands to the sides of his neck, feeling his pulse jump under your thumbs.
“I have no need for boys because I have a man who treats me with kindness and respect. A man who is thoughtful, who isn’t afraid of himself. A man who knows himself, who loves his son, who invited me into his life when he didn’t have to because he’s brave.”
A couple more tears fall down your cheeks and you frame his face with your hands. “You love better and more courageously than anyone I have ever known.” 
You sniffle a little. “Aaron, honey...I love you. I wouldn’t want anything else, or anyone else, for my life, to be my partner, my best friend, the person I love. Odds have it that you’ll be my husband and the father of any other kids we might acquire and that we’ll grow even older and grayer together.” 
You let a little facetious smirk cross your lips. “And I’d like you to look at me and tell me I’d be happy with some dickhead named Mark with a business degree who wears shoes well-outside his pay grade.” 
That does it. 
Aaron smiles and pulls you to him with a hand at the back of your head. Your lips meet and you can taste the saltwater, but it doesn’t matter. 
He pulls back to look at you, and he really looks at you. His eyes roam hungrily over your face as if trying to memorize every line and curve and lash and budding wrinkle he finds there. 
You simply melt in the dark brown of his eyes, watching him take his time. 
Even then, as you expected, there is some doubt - not in you, of course, but in him. “Really?”
“Really.” You hold up your fist between your faces, pinky extended. “Pinky promise.” 
He smiles a little and links your pinkies together, twisting your hands to kiss your knuckles. Your hands drop into your lap and another little smile crosses your face. 
“What?” He asks.
You shrug. “I’m also thinking about how thirty-something-year-old boys absolutely suck in bed. I can pretty much guarantee that you’re better at - well, just about everything.” 
He closes his eyes and smiles, looking the picture of a happy house cat in the sun. You draw closer, running your nose along his. He leans toward you and captures your lips again. 
The next few hours? Don’t worry. They’re spent proving your point.  
+++
tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @davidrossi-ismydad @angelsbabey @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @hotchsflower @ogmilkis @marvels-agents100 @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @buckybau @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandice-ray @ellyhotchner @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @violentvulgarvolatile  @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst @bwbatta @roses-and-grasses @lcvischmitt @capricorngf @missdowntonabbey @averyhotchner @mandylove1000 @cevanswhre @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor @spencers-hoodrat @infinity1321 @zizzlekwum @popped-weasels @evee87 @nuvoleincielo @this-broken-band-girl @reidtomestyles @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @winqhster @spencerelds @the-falling-in-the-danger @nattylite49 @crazyshannonigans @softbibxtch @iconicc @mangoberry43 @andreasworlsboring101 @kerrswriting @mac99martin @itsalwaysb33nyou
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quickspinner · 3 years
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S4E1 Truth Reactions
Just a reminder, you can filter #quickrants if you don’t want to see this kind of thing.
So...I’m not that upset.  I think I’m in the minority here, but clearly my expectations were sufficiently low and I’m really mostly okay with it. I wanted one thing out of this episode, for them to not screw up Luka’s character, and I got that. 
There’s a lot of things I’m not happy about, but all indications from early on were that they were going to break the ship up way sooner than we expected, so I kind of had time to make my peace with that. I just wanted them to keep Luka’s character intact, and for him and Marinette to part on good terms so that we can HC that they get together later when they are both more mature.
The things that I didn’t like were so typical that they didn’t even bother me that  much:
Literally every character they could possibly shoehorn in saying “Marinette is in love with Adrien Agreste” (however, note, that while every other character was talking about Adrien, aside from that first convo, Marinette was not)
Adrien didn’t even show up and it was all about him, from the rambly confusion in Marinette’s bedroom, to Luka saying “hey, if you’re still in love with Adrien, I’ll understand.” 
Chat Noir saying he would never force a secret from Ladybug when the entire episode Siren exists. I mean, regardless of how you feel about Chat’s behavior in that episode...he was trying to force the issue. If not from Ladybug, then to get Ladybug’s secret from Plagg, all without being akumatized. 
The biggest issue I have with the episode is the way they shoehorned the Couffaine family drama into it, which meant that neither plot thread got the attention it needed/deserved, and as a result, they had to skip over a lot of stuff, and the entire narrative of the episode was choppy. Would it have been that hard to have a few episodes leading up to this where we saw Marinette ditching Luka on dates, instead of cramming it all into one montage of pain? And we’re really going to go from Jagged saying that he basically ditched his family for no good reason, into Luka hugging him and letting him be the dad-comforter at the end of the ep? AND WHAT ABOUT JULEKA? Does she just not count because she’s a girl and men only care about their sons? Astruc just doubled down on the twin thing on Twitter, but we’re not even going to address that at all? 
That whole thing should have been dealt with in another episode; Luka could have found out in this one, and then we could have seen him approaching Jagged as a civilian later (maybe we’ll still see this, but I don’t have any faith it will happen) to work it all out. 
I admit I kinda screamed when Anarka said it, though. I didn’t think they would ever confirm it on air. The way it was handled, though, ugh. Jagged really comes off like a deadbeat jerk and then he just, what? Gets forgiven for no reason? After he wrote a song called “My Guitar Is My Only Family”???? 
Also, the episode as a whole was visually really ugly, and Luka really got the worst of it. Like, yikes. I don’t know why they went full on Lord of the Rings with the special effects, either, can’t you make a character look shocked without inverting the entire background? Multiple times? 
Side note: can I just say how hilarious I find it that Hawkmoth repaired the peacock Miraculous with a 50 cent pin back from Joanne’s and by saying “Repair yourself!” Just...so ridiculous.
There were a lot of things I liked.
The sincerity of the movie date. Marinette may have flaked big time not remembering it, but once they actually got out together, away from other influences, they were having so much fun! Going to see a movie they knew was terrible because they both love Jagged so much! I have hearts in my eyes. They were super cute! Their lyric guessing contest! They way they were so focused on each other and having fun. Marinette’s cute way of giving him his gift for ‘winning’ the contest, and Luka using their lyric game to ask for a kiss, and having that cute little nervous look before he really went for it. I’m gonna be watching that scene like a billion times. 
My heart broke for both of them when Marinette kept running off. I like that they made it clear that this was an ongoing thing. That one moment of Luka being snarky and upset that she didn’t come to the concert just hurt that much more because he’s normally so calm. It really hurt when he didn’t get excited that she finally arrived.
But what happened after that was so Luka. He didn’t get sulky and passive aggressive. He didn’t get upset with her in front of everybody. He took her somewhere private, somewhere that was important to him, and he gave her context for how he was feeling by sharing something private about himself, and he asked her as gently as possible what was going on. I think it’s telling that he made a point of letting her know that he was okay with it if she was still hung up on Adrien.  All he really wanted from her was confirmation that she was committed to this relationship, because after being ditched so many times it’s natural to start questioning whether she was really ready for this, and he didn’t want to be pressuring her into something. He just wanted her to tell him the truth. I think the parallel he gave her was nice, too; not only was he sort of letting her know he maybe has some abandonment issues that are making this hard for him, he’s giving her an opening to admit that she gets overwhelmed for whatever reason and that she ditches him to go hide and collect herself. In spite of all the things he is clearly feeling, he’s so careful with her, and it shows even more when he’s fighting his akumatization. Because his feelings are that she should tell him, that she should trust him, and he’s hurt that she doesn’t, but what he says, and what his behavior backs up, is that you can’t force the truth out of people (nice callback to Silencer there, where Ladybug said something similar about forcing someone to tell the truth is meaningless). He wants to believe that Marinette trusts him and has a good reason for not telling him; he wants to believe that if he can make her feel safe enough she’ll choose to confide in him. Poor guy is just trying to understand without spilling his bad feelings all over her. That’s really the core of what I like about Luka; he’s thoughtful, respectful, and gentle, but he confronts issues head on. He did it in Silencer, he did it in Felix, he did it in Miracle Queen, each time getting right to the heart of what Marinette was having trouble saying without putting pressure on her to admit anything she wasn’t ready for her. That’s what I was really, really scared of losing in this episode and I am just over the moon that they handled it so well. 
The akuma is another story, but akumas are akumas. Those where his emotions without control and I’m not upset about that. Both of Luka’s akumas were about anger and powerlessness. 
I feel deeply cheated that we didn’t get any kind of scene of Luka coming back to the boat, and Anarka having to tell him again about Jagged because he doesn’t remember, but she said it in front of everyone (including Juleka) so there’s no way to keep it a secret anymore. The cut to the breakup scene on the bridge was just so abrupt, and there was so much that should have happened between that that we should have seen.
I would have liked to have seen Marinette finding him, and asking if he’s okay, and giving him a little sympathy before finally giving him the honesty he asked for. Even when she tries to say it, that she can’t give him the relationship he deserves right now (and I’m eternally grateful that she didn’t lie to him and tell him that it actually was because of Adrien), Luka makes a choice. He closes his eyes as he hugs her (which I think is significant, given the whole third-eye imagery of Truth) and he doesn’t make her say it. Honestly, I usually feel gross about using the word ‘deserved’ in relationships, but I think it’s justified here--he deserved for her to look him in the eye and tell him that she couldn’t be with him. But he didn’t make her do it. He wasn’t angry at her, and they didn’t part with bad feelings, and he was Luka right up until the end.
Maybe it’s sad that that’s as much as I felt could be reasonably hoped for in this episode, but there it is. I’m not happy, but I’m satisfied.
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anon-rebel-writes · 3 years
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Of Pink Fairies and Teenage Boys - 1
Hello everyone! I hope you are having a fantabulous day!
This concept is a little strange, but it gets better the more chapters come out! Hopefully the weirdness doesn’t freak anyone out too much XD
The idea was basically just Marinette being a fairy and Luka kinda being in love with how adorable she is. But now it’s a story about Marinette slowly helping him out with different aspects of his life.
I intended this story to be a slow burn, but I’m impatient so it’s going to be five chapters! :D
I hope you all enjoy this piece! It starts under the cut! Ao3 Link
The hot summer rays pierced into the porthole of his cabin. Light danced across his floor in a rich orange hue as the sun set for the day. The divider in the middle of the room was closed off as soft shuffling came from the other side of the wall.
Luka sat on his bed holding his guitar tightly in his hands - the knuckles turning white with from the pressure. His teeth were clenched and his jaw seemed tense. While this was far from normal, lately Luka was finding it hard to keep his usual calm demeanor.
School was officially out for the summer. Most kids were spending it at the pool or with friends, unfortunately Luka Couffaine was not most kids. He saw his mom working longer hours and coming home later than average. While Anarka wasn’t a woman to complain, he saw how not even her bright attitude could outshine the stress.
Luka decided to help out by taking on extra shifts at his delivery job. The money wasn’t crazy, but it could definitely help his mom out. At the end of the day, he just wanted to make her life easier, even if the extra work made his shoulders a little tighter.
His band, Kitty Section, also thought of increasing their practice times. His sister, Juleka, and their drummer, Ivan, wanted to change rehearsal from once a week, to twice a week. It seemed great for them since neither worked or had much to do during summer break, but Luka found himself worn thin from all the extra playing.
Even now, he found himself cringing slightly at the guitar in his hands. When did music become such a chore? All these thoughts continued to plague his mind as his left hand silently fingered different riffs and notes while his right hand merely tapped along the body of the instrument. It wasn’t hard to see that Luka was in a funk. Usually a bit of meditating would help him relax, but miniature distractions always seemed to pull him out of it. They tended to come from his sister, since she usually sat across from his side of the room.
But Luka didn’t want to blame her, it wasn’t her fault. Luka found himself easier to blame. She was just trying to enjoy her free time, it was summer after all. Yet every time she faintly hummed a tune or tapped her desk, he found himself tensing up and feeling frustrated.
The light outside finally left his room and soft snores were heard through the barrier. He barely felt himself moving as he placed the guitar back on its rack. A shaky breath left him as he ran his fingers through his unruly hair. Nothing was working anymore, time seemed to drag on and yet move so fast. When was the last time he worked on his hair? The strands covered his eyes more each day with the blue dye slowly growing out.
He quietly moved off of his bed to change into something more comfortable for sleep. Luka threw on an old band shirt and some red flannel pajama pants. But staring back at his bed, he felt restless. The corners of his eyes felt watery and he held his arms tightly.
Luka didn’t regret any of the stress. He was doing it for his family. It didn’t matter how exhausted he was after riding his bike all day. It didn’t matter that he could barely keep his eyes open during band practice. The only thing that mattered was that he was helping them.
He took a deep breath before trying to shake off the negative feelings. As Luka moved across his cabin towards the bed, the porthole next to his bed swung open, letting in a huge gust of wind. He instinctively tried to shield himself from anything that could fly inside, but nothing but warm air filled the room. After the initial shock, he moved over to the window and closed it tightly again. He looked over at the divider and listened carefully to make sure Juleka didn’t awaken.
Muffled snoring continued to sound out behind the barrier and he felt a small wave of relief flush over him before a soft voice whispered in his left ear, “Wow you look just like your picture.”
At least Juleka was a heavy sleeper so she couldn’t hear the girlish shriek that came from him. Luka jumped away from the voice, falling onto the ground next to his amp. His head turned towards the source of the voice and he saw a little bug flying where his ear was. But it wasn’t a bug, it was a lot larger than a typical bug. Squinting his eyes, he saw that the ‘bug’ looked like a human girl with wings.
“What. The hell.”
The little flying girl attempted to move towards him, but seeing as Luka cowered into the corner of the room in fear, she stopped herself. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you! I’m such a klutz, I don’t wanna mess this up already…”
Luka’s eyes were popping out of his head as he stared at her, trying to rack his brain around whether he had passed out earlier and just forgot. He was tired after work today, surely this must all be a dream. But the little fluttering person continued to ramble, the more she talked, the more Luka realized that this may be real. The bug-person-girl was speaking about an assignment, but then she started waving her arms around, gesturing to him and then her. Luka honestly tried to focus on her words, but her wings were loud and the buzzing sound grabbed his full attention.
“-So that’s basically the situation. Do you understand, Monsieur Couffaine?”
He definitely heard that. How did she know his name already? The girl saw his disoriented expression and sighed, “You didn’t hear anything I said, did you?” He nodded his head and attempted to shuffle closer to his bed, trying to find anything to ground himself.
The girl slowly moved towards him as he finally sat back on the soft surface of his bed. Sitting there was supposed to help him back to reality, but the fabric definitely felt real and not like something he’d feel in a dream. His stomach was knotting and suddenly he felt lightheaded. The flying girl-person-bug perched herself on his guitar and waited for him to settle down. After pinching himself a couple of times to make sure he was awake, he nodded over to her. She gave him a big smile and lifted a hand to him.
“I’m Marinette, your own personal fairy!”
Luka leaned towards her with a finger held out to shake her hand back. Now that he was closer, he could see her a lot better. The girl, Marinette, was surrounded in a soft pink glow. She wore a dress made from varying hues of pink petals. The dress was pulled together on her waist by a small string that tied into a bow behind her. Her hair pulled back into a bun on the top of her head, also tied with string. He squinted and saw that she actually had little feet, and those feet had toes. Which was a very strange thing to be amazed by, considering that she just told him she was a fairy.
In all honesty, despite the strange scenario, Luka found his face burning at her adorable outfit. Which was also a strange thing to think about, because she just told him she was a fairy. “Okay, wow. I have like- a million things going through my mind right now. I’m gonna need a minute-”
A loud snore echoed through the room, interrupting his words. Marinette let go of his finger and both of them went rigid. After what felt like an eternity of waiting to see any signs of Juleka waking up, the fairy flew towards Luka’s face to bring his attention back to her. “Wow. Your sister’s a deep sleeper! Even after your girly scream!” Luka should totally be offended. He should be, but honestly his ego was the least of his concerns.
“Yeah, Jules...she’s good at- I guess- sleeping? I’m sorry, I can’t really focus on her when you’re literally a fairy.”
Marinette let out a soft laugh that oddly sounded sweet, chirpy, and cute. Wait, why was he thinking she was cute?! Not cute. She was not cute. Even if her cheeks were rosy and her hair looked soft and- oh my god why is he thinking like this.
“Well, I guess I should re-explain myself, right? I’m a fairy. We are magical beings here to help humans out when they feel sad. Every fairy is assigned a human to watch over and take care of. After the human is happy again, we wipe our existence from their mind and they go on with their lives. Sounds like a good deal, right?”
While in theory that made sense (honestly it didn’t because up until this point Luka was one-hundred percent sure that fairies weren’t real), he couldn’t help but feel mystified. “Okay...I have so many questions.”
Another chirpy (and cute) giggle came from her and she landed next to him on his bed. “Lucky for you, I may have some answers!”
Luka slowly nodded his head as he watched her walk around his blanket. She honestly couldn’t have been longer than the length of his hand, so seeing her move around really gave him odd feelings, more so than before. “So...Fairies are real?”
Marinette laughed again as she began climbing on his lap. “Yup! We used to roam around in the open, but some awful humans began using us for our magic. Now we hide ourselves and help humans secretly!” Luka looked down at the fairy and saw she began rubbing herself around the hem of his shirt. This was definitely strange. Even if this happened to be a dream, he probably shouldn’t be imagining a fairy rubbing her face against his stomach, right? “Uh- What’re you doing?”
She met his eyes and flew up to his face again. “Sorry, it’s just been so long since I felt such nice fabric. I’ve always wanted to wear cute clothes like you humans do! Your shirt is so soft!”
Not only was he stuck with a mythical creature, but he was stuck with a cute one that happened to enjoy rubbing her face on him. Trying to push any weird thoughts out of his mind, Luka nodded his head and tried to look anywhere else but her. She seemed to sense his uncomfortable aura because she backed away from him and sat on the edge of his porthole. “Why don’t you go to bed, Monsieur Couffaine. I’ll answer all your questions in the morning, okay? A good night’s rest will help get your brain back in working condition!”
Luka looked at Marinette and saw her illuminated by her pink glow and the moonlight. His heart felt like her wings for a moment, but he shook his head to get rid of any strange feelings and stood up. Marinette watched his movements as he walked towards his dresser again and grabbed his blue hoodie.
Her head tilted to the side as she watched him fold it into a small bundle. He walked towards his bed and laid the hoodie onto his amp. Luka looked down timidly at the floor in an effort to avoid her gaze. “I just- I thought a hoodie might be nicer than the window.”
Marinette gave him a soft smile and fluttered back over to his head. She pressed her face into his cheek and then dove into the makeshift bed.
This had to have been a dream. There was no way a fairy just kissed his cheek. Luka found himself a bit dazed at her gesture, so he decided to lay on his bed to try and get some rest. Although with all the adrenaline coursing through his body, he doubted he would sleep for the next week.
At least that’s what he thought before strange dust appeared over his head and his eyes suddenly felt heavier. He glanced over at the nightstand and saw the fairy’s hands twirling in the air out of the hoodie, producing the dust that fell over him.
While this could all be a hallucination due to the lack of sleep he’s been getting lately, he found himself faintly longing for this to not be a dream. A tiny part of him wanted to believe that this could actually be real. But all those thoughts were for tomorrow, right now his body was focused on finally pulling him into slumber. For the first time in a while, Luka found himself peacefully sleeping with a tiny part of him excited for tomorrow.
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