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viotrio2407 · 3 years

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His Life He Faces.

"What do you call perfect day? Filled with happiness?Filled with safety? Filled with freedom? Filled with pride? "said the anonymous man who stood in front of me ,he was pale, dressed in a grey suit, wearing accessories matching his scarlet tie and black shoes. His coal black eyes and sky blue hair stood out the most of his exquisite appearance. The first thought of him that popped in my mind was that he was 'Pitiful '.Filled with the urge to help him, I took a step forward and anxiously reached out my hand to him, almost immediately after my action of aid, the man disappeared into thin air ,so as well my surroundings and everything went blank. “Wake up Jamey! ”exclaimed my mum splashing a cup of water right onto my face. “You don't wanna be late of the first day of 9th grade do you ,my son!? " The late realization of this obvious fact resulted me in being late on the first day of school. What an embarrassment today, I guess luck isn't on my side today. By the end of the fourth period it is break for about 15 minutes , well I won't be surprised if nobody's gonna converse with me, if I were them I won't talk to a late comer either but I guess I was wrong, not everyone is ignorant. “Hey, late comer, why're you late, perhaps you overslept? ”said the light brown skinned girl holding her tiffin box in her hands, she had curly brown hair cut short above her shoulders ,black eyes and she was neatly dressed. ‘Well may I sit with you? ’’ ‘’Yes, you may. I would like an introduction if you don't mind "said I. “Yes ofcourse I don't mind at all.The names Monica Hunter, until today I was a student in Florida, U.S,I am of Indian origins not of the U. S.You missed my introduction earlier in the morning and so may I have an introduction from you as well? ” “My name is Vlad James Anderson, and the same as you ,I arrived in India after graduating elementary school in New Orleans U. S, I am of Indian origins and yes I overslept today” She looked surprised and suddenly fell in doubt as she stared into my eyes and asked, “But your eyes are blue? ” “Oh, my mum says I inherit them from my great grandpa ,he was of the U. S ,once again my citizenship is of India.Mum never spoke of any of my family member save my great grandpa and dad, I wonder why?” “Looks like there's a bit of mystery in the air ”said she grinning, it gave me chills up my spine and something told me ,my life just turned upside down. We conversed throughout the entire break .I am not the type for long conversations and yet I felt at peace. As speaking of myself, I am pretty good at academics and sports but socializing is not in my blood.I am tall and good looking ,my black hair is buzz cut ,blue eyes as mentioned before. And I certainly wonder why people distance themselves from me. School hours were over, it was time to go home, as I got ready Monica invited herself to tag along on the way home. And I asked her about her opinion on why people distance themselves from me and why out of the blue she decided to converse with me , it was certainly odd to me. As I stared at her for an answer she suddenly burst into laughter. “Oh, are you sure you don't know yourself! ” “I wouldn't have asked if I knew ”said I upset “Come on, don't pout. I'll tell ya” “well what are you waiting for, start already ” “Despite being good looking with excellent academics and sports grades you look quite -wait that's not right you look so ferociously angry. Thats the expression you have on your face all the time. When you entered the classroom, didn't you wonder why nobody mocked and laughed at you? ” “Well it looks like I'll have to smile once in a while. And your reason for conversing with me? ” “They say not to judge a book by its cover so I decided to converse with you, I don't need a big reason to talk to a person ” “Oh I see, so where's your house? ” “It's down this road ” Well after conversing down the road I reached home and was quite surprised to find out that she was my neighbor .Well now I know her reasons to converse with me, well she wasn't surprised at all. After refreshing myself,

I'd normally sit to study but being the first day, no teachers have started off with anything. So some free time for me, i got relaxed and stretched myself on the sofa ,getting ready to watch some TV and before I knew my mum popped into the living room standing in front of me with a sneaky smile. “Jamey is free right, so why not go run errands for me? ” She got me cornered, I had to go run errands to the nearby convenience store, things just don't go as I planned when I'm free. After purchasing the stuff needed for mum, I started heading home not that I had to do anything else. Walking by I came across Monica's house, it seemed locked, all the lights were out. They were switched on when on my way to the store. Looks like she and her family went out ,well I can't imagine anybody going to bed as early as 6:00pm . I arrived home and handed over the stuff to my mom and headed to my room. Just before I headed in ,the door bell rang. Curious enough couldn't imagine who would come to visit us ,mum wore the same expression as me and we both headed to the door to see who had come, we didn't expect delivery as we don't order anything. I answered the door to see a man probably in his 30s or so, smiling ,who was fair ,tall,fit had black eyes, neatly combed black hair was dressed in a suit of black with neat polished shoes, wearing a cheap watch and a tie with a piercing in one his ears. “Jacob! ”exclaimed mum. I was quite surprised mum knew who he was, I mean to me he looked like a rather normal business man. “Who is He? ”asked I Mum totally ignored me and welcomed him into the house and the man named Jacob sat on the couch sipping tea which mum prepared . “The tea is always amazing prepared by Vanessa”he complimented mum. Is this man a relative of ours? I thought, well he must've had mum's tea before according to his statement. I had numerous questions about in my head. “Dear Jamey, how's high school, going well? ”asked the man, as if he knew me from a long time. “Sorry but I have no idea who you are or if you have come here for some business, you look like a business man to me ”said I blandly “Ha! Looks like you've become quite observant Jamey I am a business man but you aren't observant enough to realize that I am your father”said he. I was shocked to realize that this man was my father I too realized that he quite resembled the photos of back in the day when I was 4 but the facts didn't add up as mum told me that dad had passed away in the car crash when I was five. Me and mum survived but dad was not to be found, it was as if he disappeared into thin air. I remember mum crying horribly over dads death. “What is the meaning of this mum, didn't dad die in the car crash in New Orleans?!! ” I interrogated my mum. Mum showed a guilty expression towards me and the man who introduced as my father. “What Vanessa haven't you told our dear son about me? ”said the man “How could I say it dear, for the love of God, how could I ?! .Its not something I could tell our son back then but when I thought he was ready to know about his father ,he had started enjoying his life without you and I couldn't bear his happiness just going away and so I kept quite”said mum in fear. “I understand dear.. ”He then looked at me “Will you accept me as father again ”He said with an expression as of almost he was gonna cry, his words held strength but his eyes seemed they were breaking down to pieces. “I will dad, I will but I wanna know now, what happened back then, please ”said I. He felt relieved and then clenched his fists tight and requested mum to leave to her room and rest ,he then told me to sit down and I did and then he closed his eyes, took the sign of the cross and looked at me. “All was well when we went for a trip that day not until our car crashed down resulting us getting involved with an accident, but do you know Jamey what caused that accident,? ”I felt scared to know but I responded to him, “I don't dad, please proceed" “Sure son, this might be a little new to you but I had a twin brother who looked exactly like me and

who ferociously hated me to death, I kept a secret to him of my marriage and of you but he hunted me down all the way from Karnataka to New Orleans.He was the one who deliberately hit and ran, that damned man he didn't even care for a women and child in the car and took out his anger of me ,upon all of us. He laughed at me and said, “Oh dear brother, you never cared of me in the least and I don't care if your petty wife or child don't die well it doesn't matter even if they did I just want you to die, ” He stood on my neck until I passed out, after that I was taken to the hospital and there I barely survived. The chance of my survival was just a percent out of 100 and guess what ?I survived, the operation was successful but I deliberately told them to tell Vanessa -your mother that I died and begged them to fake a death certificate, your mother cried to her fullest of depression with you right next to her. I thought it was best if my damned brother never knew that I was alive so at least your lives wouldn't be at stake. But your mom spotted me, she was clever enough to spot me that she didn't even that think I was a Dopple ganger or so, she didn't know about my twin brother though .She beat me a lot for lying as she cried after she was sober I explained the situation to her and pleaded her that she wouldn't tell anyone save you but looks like she couldn't tell you and put your life in danger .I had to quit my job and find some other job and I have been in Florida ever since.And now I just found out that my brother had died of typhoid but I couldn't believe it what if he faked his death too, but his corpse was laid out right in front of me, I believed and I decided to comeback to you. ” He took a long breath after he was done explaining and he looked as if he lifted a heavy boulder of his shoulders. Nevertheless I asked ,“Dad why was your brother angry towards you so much that he hated you to death, there has to be some reason right? ” Dad replied quite fast“It was of our achievements we both grew together but he wasn't willed enough to pursue his goals, I had put a lot of effort into my goals and had achieved them, he never saw me putting effort since he always went out with his friends slacking around. As his brother I told him to work a bit harder so that he won't lose to me but he took it as an insult and treated me like stranger when I had won awards and so he looked at me with anger on his face and a few days later he and I fought and he went on and on how I cheated and won those awards and that God never took his side and hated him. He had attempted to kill me and so I in fear left him and fled away. Sometimes I think maybe I should've made effort to help my brother ”He looked down to the floor as he said those words. “You still care about your brother don't you dad, if you hated him you would've complained on him to the police but you didn't, you hoped he would change one day didn't you”said I comforting my poor father and then he looked at me and said, “I've got a great son and I'm proud to be your father”said he as tears fell from his eyes. After wards I told my mum that all was well and we had a family reunion dinner. I felt happy ,I've never felt this happy before .Despite being late to school and having to run errands in my free time, today almost felt like a perfect day.It wasn't possible to express my feelings through words because I felt various feelings which resonated in my heart, I just couldn't stop smiling.After dinner, I kissed my mum and dad good night and went in to my room to have a good nights sleep. I fell asleep quite quickly. “A perfect day, can be possessed of different events good or bad but didn't you know there's always a price to be paid when crime is committed and there's always a price when you feel happiness. There's nothing in this world that comes quite free ” said the anonymous man, he was the same as before ,dressed exquisitely but the word I felt to describe him was pitiful. I took a step forward and said, "What price should I pay for my happiness? " Looks like I asked

something from deep within my heart, I was never the type to bother others for the sake of my happiness.And again same as before the man disappeared into thin air and so the surroundings and then I woke up gasping, “Oh Jesus Christ, it wasn't scary but I feel really scared ” I felt something bad was gonna happen today. I looked at the time on my alarm clock it was 6 in the morning, I woke on time for school this time. I got refreshed ,went down to join for breakfast and this time not only mum but dad was also there.They seemed to be waiting for my arrival , so I quickly got seated at the table ,there was a really soothing atmosphere that filled our home and it was perfect to have breakfast. When came an end to our breakfast ,dad picked up the newspaper lying at the edge of the table and glanced through the headlines and columns, the soothing smile on his face suddenly dropped , “Vanessa our neighbors are the Hunters,- you mentioned yesterday? ”he asked calmly . “Yes dear, they just joined the day before yesterday, ” replied mum. “It's just Mr. Hunter ,his son and younger daughter. ” Dad engaged, “Dear, Mr. Hunter passed way due to cardial arrest yesterday evening, seems he was returning home from a colleague reunion ,he was found breaking down by two security officers patrolling the area and was immediately taken to the hospital but it was too late by the time he got admitted. This agony was soon mentioned to his son and daughter, they were in plenty shock hearing this .The mourning funeral is being held today at 5 in the evening at Our Lady of Fatima Church ,Thannirbavi . ”Mum went silent and asked after moments ,“ I don't think so we can attend the funeral we haven't known them well and —” “I'll go mum, Monica Hunter is my friend ”I interupted “I know her well even though, it was just a day meeting her. ” Dad and mum slowly smiled at me, I'm sure they felt light at heart after my words .It is utterly horrible that when one receives good another finds themselves in agony. I decided to go to school. Monica was absent which was to be expected ,and our class teacher had narrated the incident which dad had mentioned at breakfast to all of us and we approached a moment of silence for Mr. Hunter . After school, I returned home, got refreshed and got ready for the funeral of Mr. Hunter, I couldn't imagine what must Monica be going through.When I thought dad had died I didn't feel much as I was young ,I didn't how to react to such a situation but in her case she has lost her mother too. Even if I was of no help to console her, it was better than sitting at home. At the funeral, there were many people, a lot seemed to be colleagues and friends, many were American. Mr. Hunter i.e Richard Hunter was a successful business man in Florida and had come to India for lucrative business branches, explains why he was mentioned in the newspaper -obviously he was a famous man. The only family of his were Monica who was neatly dressed in a black frock and black accessories to match ,and her elder brother Layon Hunter—Layon ,who was a tall man probably in his 20's , had brown curly hair and light brown skin with black eyes and was neatly dressed in a black suit ,they both stood downcast looking at their dead father. Admist the mourning silence Monica spot me and our eyes met, she was startled, perhaps she never thought I'd see her this gloomy ,she couldn't smile even though she wanted to .After the funeral, people started departing back ,i thought maybe I could speak with Monica so I waited until most were gone but then I changed my mind, it would be a bit of a bother at a time like this .Just as I turned my back to leave, I was stopped by a hand at my shoulder, and I turned to see, “Are you perhaps Monica's friend ? I saw her looking at you for a second there , I couldn't help but be curious ”said Layon -Monica's brother, this was surely an unexpected meet. “Curiosity fills the family blood I suppose and yes I am her friend we met in class yesterday , by the way the names Vlad . ”said I He looked surprised at my statement and

engaged in talk, “You just met yesterday? I thought you were her best friend to make a visit to a funeral. I think it was her first day yesterday,.If I am right she should've made plenty friends in a day, just like she used to back in the day in U. S.," . Well ,looks like I made another friend ,just observing him would give plenty of his personality ,he was the most obvious among all people I've met. “Actually, I don't know any of her friends, she just conversed with me yesterday as much as I know."said I. “Oh, well that's surprising ”said he. “You aren't living with Monica and your father are you?, ”asked I doubtfully “I wasn't, how did you know, did she mention me ?" Looks like I was right, I do like deducing, I don't get it right all the time ,very seldom in case. “She never mentioned much of herself, leaving only the fact that she came from Florida. " “Then How did —” “You learn medicine, if I am not wrong ,even though you showered or used perfume to cover the awful smell of concentrated bases, the faint smell still remains.Its Probably from your left piercing ,I smelled it when you touched my shoulder earlier. The smell is fresh and the fact you used a lot perfume to cover it up means you have been in the lab quite recently and you are living here way before your father and sister arrived ,you probably experiment more than 6 hours a day and you were in the midst of experimenting when you came to know about your father death, and forgot to shower and that smell got enough time to attach onto you . You also were gloves alot like anyone who deals with chemistry , there are marks in your wrists. "said I. To be honest I felt so proud of myself for deducing, for a moment there, I thought I should become a detective. Although it's pretty much impossible for me. “Wow! You're right ,all of it, But how did you know that I was admist experimenting, I could have just been lazy” “You were probably informed after Monica as she left her house between 5:55 and 6 o clock. Again the smell proves alot, it was a hot day yesterday, there was no way someone would be lazy enough not to bathe especially if they stink ,the heat outside caused much more effect " .Well I hoped I was right.. "To be honest, I was informed first, I then informed Monica about the news. "said he. "Well, I'm dissapointed in myself, and here I though I got it right "said I sighing, "You were right about me being a medical student and living here before father and Monica's arrival and yes, I was in the middle of an experiment when I got a call from the hospital."said he At least I was right, about some facts.Though I wanted to talk to Monica, I ended up talking to her brother instead . I asked him if Monica will be able to attend school tomorrow and he sighed and said, “I being her elder brother should know alot about her but we aren't that close, I don't know what it is, but she always distances from me, even when I met her at the hospital ,she didn't look at me one bit ” “ In other words ,some drama happened in the family ”said I smirking ,pointing my finger at him. He set aside my hand and said sighing, “Whatever it is ,you should go ask her yourself. ” “OK I will, ” “Well, see you some other time. Get along with my sister. ”He smiled, waved goodbye and headed out. After he left, I again thought of meeting Monica and then leaving .It was half past 7 but the girl supposedly in, never came out . Since it was getting late, I headed back home and had dinner,had some family talk which was something new to dad ,did our daily rosary(prayer)and left to my room a bit earlier than usual, about quarter to 10, other wise it'd be somewhere past 11. After the mourning night passed by, It was the next day, waking up, I hoped the melancholy in the air would fade. Getting ready for school, I could feel the warmth in house flowing, I could sense the mood of mum and dad was fair and good.Heading out,waving them goodbye, shutting the door behind, looking ahead, I was astonished to see Monica standing outside the gate, waiting for my arrival. She turned around

looking at me ,she wore a bright smile and greeted morning. I never expected her to wait right infront of my house, well whatever, I returned my greetings and we were off to school. I never imagined that after we greeted morning that there wouldn't be a single word of conversation,as much as she smiled looking forward walking, I could totally sense awkwardness between us even though she didn't give out the vibe. When we almost reached, I decided to break the awkwardness,“Hey ,You've been silent all along the way, whats up with you?! ”I cried She stopped, looked up to the cloudless sky, and then looked at me with a serious face and replied,“To be honest, I don't wanna talk to you, but I want to talk to you ” “What on earth does that mean?” “You seriously didn't have to come yesterday ” “But I came” “You didn't even know anybody there, except me, and I bet you didn't engage with anyone there”she exclaimed pointing her finger at me. “Oh I did, I conversed with your Brother ”I replied quick She went pale and her voiced went bitter. “What business did you have with him, ” “You might not know that your brother cares for you alot, he was really happy to know that you have a friend like me ” “You know nothing about him and who told you that I'm your friend ”she said in anger Her words raged me alot. “You're nothing like of how you were on the first day we met,was it all an act?!”I interrogated her. She showed a sign of denial. “My changes are probably of father's passing ” My anger flowed through my veins and thus couldn't be controlled any more .I rose my hand and slapped her,..... I couldn't believe what I did for God's Word, but I spoke my mind. “You really think your father would be proud of you to change like this, he would be ashamed, Layon is enduring as much as this and he was able to stop and put up a smile for you while conversing with me. Don't blame the dead man for your arrogance ” “But.. but ,I cant do anything that , mother 's gone ,fathers gone, Brother hates me and really I can't —” I grabbed her hand, and scolded looking at her furiously. “It's not that you can't do anything, you're just not doing anything, no one has the right to judge others Even if you feel unfair. Life's just that way. ” She looked at me , her eyes filled with tears running down her cheeks. “You should go and talk to your brother ”I insisted I released her .I felt my anger easing down, and just as I relaxed myself I realized that we reached school and that she was holding my hand and was trembling , looking to the ground as we entered school. She was dull in the morning classes and when the clock struck twelve she seemed to be in her fair mood again. Well, I was at ease.Twelve o clock meant lunch break as I took out my lunch preceding Monica approached me with her lunch wearing a upset face ,stood fair and smacked me in the head . “That's what you deserve for making me cry, You are really scary you know, Your looks and your anger sync alot ”she said squinting her eyes. “and I thought you would never be angry as your face suggested ,so much for' Don't judge a book by its cover '.Guess not everyone's by the quote. ” “Ha ha ha, I bet my slap hurt much more than this ”I laughed I totally regret saying that, she started smacking my head countlessly . But her bright smile was back onto her bright face again.

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saiilorstars · 3 years

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Fairy Tale Memoirs

Author’s Note: This is part of a one-shot/AU companion story to Stars Dance & Falling in Temptation that features Avalon Reynolds and the Doctor (from 9th-13th Doctor) along with other companions + Lena Reynolds.

// Current Masterlist //

taglist: @ocfairygodmother @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel

Ch. 4: The Builders

Summary: While her mother is asleep, Aurora gets to have some bonding time with her father. The Doctor is amazed to see his daughter's work.

Aurora’s face claim is Kennedy McMann!

Things were mostly quiet in the TARDIS. The Doctor expected it to be that way even though he had finally taken Avalon and Aurora away in the TARDIS. His girls were actually going to live with him from now on. He had so many plans for them and he couldn't wait to get started...but first they needed to rest. Avalon needed to sleep. Though she didn't sleep as much as an average human would, she still needed sleep at times. So, as much as it pained him to keep waiting, the Doctor let her rest. Aurora disappeared in her new room too...

Or so he thought.

He'd heard a spark from the console and since he wasn't around to cause it, he practically dashed into the room. "Where's the fire, dear!? Where's the fire!?" Instead of getting a usual hum from the TARDIS, Aurora popped up from the other side of the console. Her green eyes were wide as could be - she was a deer caught in headlights. Nothing like her mother in that aspect. Avalon never cared if she got caught, the Doctor always had too much fun to get caught up in 'getting caught' but Aurora...she was quite different in that aspect.

"Hi Dad..." she greeted all too innocently. "I wasn't messing with the console. I definitely wasn't trying to see what the knobs did..."

"Aurora! What are—" he sputtered, "Didn't you—weren't you supposed to be asleep!?"

Aurora scratched behind her ear. "Not really."

"What!?"

"I just...I knew if I didn't say I was sleepy then Mum wouldn't have gone to sleep either."

"So you just lied!?"

"No, I just...agreed with her," Aurora smirked. That was all Avalon.

It actually scared the Doctor how similar the smirks were but at the same time it warmed his hearts to see a little copy of his Ava. He couldn't wait to see more moments like these.

"Oh don't be mad with me, Dad," Aurora sighed and started coming around the console. "And don't tell Mum either. I don't really sleep that much. I actually sleep less than Mum."

"Makes sense since you are my daughter," the Doctor came up the steps to join her. "Avalon relatively sleeps about 3 or 4 days a week."

"I don't need it," Aurora shrugged. "I've gone on two days sometimes. But Mum doesn't really know about that — I think it'd make her feel bad that I'm up in the nights while she physically can't be."

"That would sound like her," the Doctor agreed with a nod of his head. "So...what do you do during those nights?"

Aurora hummed. "Lots of things! I go sneaking out to meet boys, of course!"

"What!?" The Doctor's hand came flinging to his chest. He actually felt like a heart attack was coming. A true, proper one. Aurora burst into laughter. "You're not dating anyone until you're 5000 years old!"

"You're not even 5000 years old!"

"Well, then that means there's still a long time to wait!"

Aurora rolled her eyes, attempting to look as irritated as she sounded, but the truth is she was ecstatic to have a conversation like this. She was finally with her father and even when he pulled stuff like this, she would never be bothered.

"You can't go pushing buttons like that, dear," the Doctor said and it earned himself a deep scoff. Aurora shot him a look for him to re-evualute his words. Eventually, the Doctor smirked. "Yeah, alright."

Aurora giggled. "When I was a kid, like 3 years old, I was staying with grandma Amy and grandpa Rory. I found the button for the disposal in the sink." The look on her face promised the Doctor there was a good ending to come. "I took it as a 'How much is too much?' and my answer was 3 apples, 2 hair scrunchies and one dishrag."

"You did not..." the Doctor struggled incredibly hard to keep his laughter at bay. He could already imagine the Ponds' reactions finding the littlest Pond experimenting with their kitchen sink.

Aurora smirked. "I did. I realized that human sink disposals are far too weak. I had to upgrade it...but Mum said I wasn't allowed to. Something about being 3 years old..." The Doctor looked at her for the longest time. Aurora would've taken it had it not been for the story she had just told. "Are you mad too?"

"No..." He admitted. "But don't tell your mother."

Aurora laughed and sprinted up to him for a hug. The Doctor welcomed it with tight arms. They both suspected that it would be like this for a long time. Centuries of missing out on each other's lives did that.

"I'm really glad that you're here now," Aurora murmured. "There's so many things I've always wanted to do with you."

"Well...we're together now, and your mother is going to be sleeping for a few more hours..." the Doctor untangled his arms from his daughter to look at her, "What's first on that list?"

Aurora beamed at the prospect. "Can we finish my sonic screwdriver? Mum doesn't know about it and I get the feeling she'd be the same type of mad whether it was finish or not. I'd rather be in trouble with a finished sonic than an unfinished one."

The Doctor chuckled. "Your thought logic is...interesting."

Aurora grinned. "So is that a yes?"

"For my daughter? How could I say 'no'?"

Aurora cheered and threw her arms around her father. "You're the best!"

How easily those words came out of her mouth when she barely knew him. It warmed the Doctor's hearts to know that even when he was gone, Avalon never spoke ill of him to their daughter.

~0~

Aurora had of course brought along her unfinished screwdriver, cleverly hidden amongst her boxes so Avalon wouldn't find it. The Doctor wouldn't say it out loud but he was impressed with how cleverly it was done. He was never able to hide anything from Avalon for long.

The Doctor had brought them to his old workshop where they would have everything to work with. Aurora had already, just like her mother had the first time she walked in, remarked about the messy state of the room.

"Critics, the both of you," the Doctor had responded with, making her laugh.

"This is what I have so far," Aurora timidly placed her work on the table. She stepped back so that the Doctor could examine what she'd built so far.

"It's amazing how similar the mechanics are to my previous sonics," he remarked.

"I-I may have asked your friend, Sarah Jane, to see hers for a bit. She didn't really know what I was doing."

"You did this from the memory of a quick inspection of another sonic?" The Doctor turned around.

Aurora nodded her head slowly. She was practically holding her breath waiting to hear what he would say. Would he be disappointed? Had she missed something? She'd tried her best to remember but it really had been a long time since she saw Sarah Jane.

"Well done, princess!" the Doctor exclaimed.

Aurora's face lit up. "Really? You like it?"

"Of course! This is great work and you did this without the usual tools you need. You're naturally intelligent."

Aurora's face might as well be a Christmas tree. "You really mean that?"

The Doctor nodded. "Of course! We just need to add a couple things to it."

"Yeah! What kind of things!?" Aurora scurried beside him, eager to learn what ideas he had in mind.

"You said like building things, right?"

"Mhm, I have so many unfinished projects in my boxes...if you want to take a look at them later on...?" Aurora nervously smiled at him.

The Doctor softly smiled down at her. "I would love to." He put an arm around her shoulders and gestured to the sonic on the table. "Since you like building things, we could make that a primary function for your sonic. Maybe we can even make it functional for wood."

Aurora giggled. "Mum says it's stupid that your high-tech sonic doesn't do wood."

"Yeah, and I told her not to diss it," the Doctor grumbled.

"Can we really make it work for wood?"

"Of course we can. We're the best team! Let's get to work!"

The Doctor started gathering some of the usual tools and, regretfully, had to tear into what Aurora already had done. "It's just to connect a few wires," he told Aurora when she started pouting. He didn't want her to think her work wasn't good enough because it was. He was amazed with her work and the fact she had done it all on her own was even more impressive. It reminded him of his young days locked in a workshop with endless plans.

Aurora was up and ready to bring along whatever her father needed. She was ecstatic to be working with him. It wasn't like anything she could've imagined. He was a rambler and sometimes he mind of lost her. She tried to follow along as much as she could but now she could really understand her mother when she said the Doctor talked nonsense. It was funny nonsense but nonsense nonetheless.

"Dad, what are you talking about?" she decided to interject once the rambling had gone somewhere banana-related. "I don't want bananas in my sonic!"

The Doctor laughed. "I didn't mean it like that. These wires are getting crossed and I'm going bananas!"

"Oh," Aurora scratched the side of her head. "Can I try?"

"Of course," the Doctor pulled off his goggles, the same ones that Aurora had made fun of as soon as she found them "But you have to put these on."

Aurora grumbled. "This is payback, isn't it?"

"No..." the Doctor promptly put them on her and barely held his laughter in when he got a good look at her. "What do you know? They do make you look like a bug."

"Dad!" she cried.

"Alright, alright, have at it," he stepped aside so she could see the wires. "We need to carefully twist the wires so they'll connect at the end right..." he tried pointing to the itty-bitty hole at the end of the sonic, "...there."

"Easy peasy," Aurora declared. She grabbed clippers and lowered them to the wires.

"Take it slowly," her father warned. "Can't tell you how many times I burned my fingers."

"You don't have to tell me, I can see it."

The Doctor huffed. "Oh, you're a funny one!"

Aurora bared a cheeky smile. "I am, aren't I?"

"Do the wires!"

Aurora giggled but started to focus on the task. The last thing she wanted to do was to ruin her own sonic. "I have to twist..."

"Slowly," the Doctor warned again.

"Mhm," Aurora's tongue stuck out between her teeth the more focused she got. She carefully twisted the wires as her father instructed. She could see the tiny hole and she was proud to say the wires might just fit in.

"You have to hear the click of the wires before you let go," the Doctor said once the wires were close to the hole.

"Got it," Aurora promised. She neared the wires and paid absolute attention. Being so silent had never been her thing. She didn't even know she was capable of it.

And then she heard the click.

"Click?" Aurora's eyes widened, though they were covered by the big goggles over her face. "Click! I did it! Dad, I did it!"

The Doctor couldn't be more proud of his daughter. "You did!"

Aurora dropped the tool with the biggest grin on her face. "I did it!" She pulled off her goggles and chucked them to the table then hugged her father.

"I'm so proud of you, Aurora!" the Doctor hugged her tightly and kissed the top of her head. "My girl's a genius!"

Aurora laughed. "Dad, I just plugged in wires. Not exactly a genius moment."

"Nonsense!" The Doctor set her down and gestured to the nearly finished sonic. "This takes genius to build and you had a lot built before I got to it."

Suddenly, they heard the open. Avalon, a very sleepy version of her, walked into the room. "What the hell is going on with this all noise?"

Aurora's face went into full panic when her mother spotted the almost finished sonic between her and her father. "M-morning Mum..."

"My sweet Ava—" the Doctor started but Avalon zipped him with a wave of her hand.

"Don't even try it, Fairy Tale Man," she took in a deep breath before adding, "You know, one good thing about having you around now is I no longer have to pretend that I don't know my daughter is building things behind my back." Aurora squeaked with the revelation. "Now I can sleep peacefully knowing she won't blow herself up..." Of course then a new thought popped into Avalon's head. "Or maybe I should be more concerned that you two might blow yourselves up..." She sighed heavily. "You're both going to kill me."

"Mum, I'm making a sonic screwdriver!" Aurora exclaimed.

Avalon's face fell flat as her eyes landed on the Doctor. He nervously smiled at her. "If she regenerates, I'm going to kill you." She reached for the door and closed it behind her when she left.

"That was her 'go for it!'," the Doctor clapped his hands together.

Aurora laughed at him. "Seriously?"

"Oh yeah, and she was even nice this time. I guess having you around is a safety measure for me," he smirked.

"Dad."

"Just saying. So, shall we finish this?" He turned to the table where the sonic awaited them.

Aurora nodded. "Oh yeah. Let's do this!"

Author's Note:

I thought there needed to be at least a moment between these two to really finish the series xD. And when I say "finish" i mean the term very loosely because I might add more parts who knows.

#ocappreciation #doctor who #11th doctor #dw #dw imagine #11th doctor imagine #11th doctor imagines #11th doctor fics #dw fics #doctor who fics #oc: Aurora Leigh Reynolds #oc: Avalon Reynolds

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inctlife · 4 years

Text

Introductions | HRJ ~ Changming

genre: fluff, angst

summary: in which you’re scared to admit that you’re pregnant with renjun’s baby, and even more scared to tell his mum

age: Changming = fetus / Areum = 11 months / Hanuel = fetus

warnings: pregnant!reader

_________

Saturday 20th July, 2024

“No, no, no, no, no, no,” you muttered, “shit!”

“Angel? You alright?” Renjun called at your sudden profanity.

“Uhh, yeah! Sorry, just one second!” you called, turning round and round as you looked for a possible place to hide the small white stick in your hands.

You settled for the bin, covering it in toilet paper and other rubbish you could find.

“It can’t be,” you muttered, biting your lip, “it’s wrong, it has to be.”

“Y/N, hurry up! It’s still paused,” Renjun called.

“Coming!” you exclaimed, exiting the bathroom and running down the stairs, back onto the sofa.

“You alright?” he asked, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and peering down at you.

You nodded, “yep! Yeah, yeah, just carry on.”

Renjun shrugged, relaxing back into the sofa and resuming the film, but you couldn’t get the thoughts rushing through your head to stop.

“Hey, Junnie, what do you think about kids?” you asked casually.

“Pretty gross most of the time,” he shrugged, “Areum’s alright though. Why?”

You chuckled nervously, “just wondering!”

What if it wasn’t wrong? What if you were actually about to have a child with Renjun?

The thought alone made you more naeseous than the morning sickness you’d been experiencing blindly for the past month.

Tuesday 23rd July, 2024

“Hmm? Y/N? You alright?” Renjun called, his voice laced with sleep.

You groaned, throwing up some more before taking a deep breath, “yeah!”

“Shut up, you’re literally vomiting,” Renjun sighed, trudging into the bathroom, rubbing your back, “you really should go to the doctor, this has been going on for ages.”

You hummed, “I will.”

Renjun relaxed slightly, kissing your shoulder, “you alright now?”

You shrugged, “let’s wait a minute and see.”

It was silent as the two of you carried on being half asleep, both leaning with your eyes closed before nausea hit you again.

“Nope, not okay.”

Wednesday 31st July, 2024

“Y/N Y/L/N?” the doctor called.

You raised your hand slightly, standing up and following the doctor into his office.

“So what seems to be the problem?” he asked, “constant vomiting, yes?”

You nodded, sighing, “truthfully, I– I took a pregnancy test a few weeks ago now and it was um... it was positive.”

The doctor nodded, “I see. Are you married?”

You shook your head, “I have a boyfriend, but it’s a bit of a... difficult situation.”

“Miss Y/L/N, if there’s anything the services can do to—“

“No! No! My boyfriend is an idol under SM,” you nodded, “so I think I’m in a.. little bit of denial.”

The doctor nodded, “ah. Okay, well, have you been having regular periods?”

You shook your head, “I haven’t had my period for this month.”

“Do you usually have regular periods?”

You nodded, your voice barely audibly, “yes.”

The doctor hummed, “well, I will do another pregnancy test, and if possible a blood test just to see, and then we will get back to you with the results.”

“Okay,” you nodded, holding back your tears, “thank you.”

Monday 5th August, 2024

“Y/N, you’ve got a letter,” Renjun said.

You hummed, “open it for me?”

Your boyfriend tore open the envelope, muttering to himself, “oh, it’s from the doctor, that was quick.”

Dear Miss Y/N Y/L/N,

this letter is regarding the results of your last appointment at our hospital. The results show that you are pregnant. We would recommend calling and scheduling an appointment with us regarding this matter, if not, we will be in touch.

Thank you.

“What does it say?” you called, “Renjun? Whose it from?”

“H-How long have you known?” he asked, gripping the letter tight in his hands.

“Renjun, tell me who it’s from,” you said, walking up to your boyfriend and taking the letter from his hands.

“The hospital,” he said, watching as you scanned the letter, “Y/N, you knew didn’t you? How long have you known?!”

You sighed, “Renjun—“

“How long?”

“Since last month,” you said, “only a couple of weeks, I swear. But I knew when I went to see the doctor. He just... he confirmed it.”

Renjun shook his head, placing his hands on your cheeks gently.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t be sorry,” he sighed, shaking his head, “I just want to be there for you, and if you don’t tell me I can’t be!”

You nodded sheepishly.

“Come here,” he said quietly, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close so you could feel his heartbeat, “I know now and I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

“But your mum,” you said, your eyes filling with tears as you buried your head in his shoulder, “Renjun we’re not even married!”

“Shh, angel, it’s not like she hates you, is it? And we’ll get through it together,” he hummed, “I promise.”

Renjun sighed as you started to sob, rubbing your back comfortingly, “Y/N, I’m right here, I always will be. Stop being so negative, okay? I’m happy! I’m so happy! You should be too!”

“Really?” you sniffled, “you are?”

“Y/N,” Renjun spoke, his arms resting on your shoulders as you looked up at him with teary eyes, “you. Carrying my child. I couldn’t love you more right now, and our baby.”

You smiled, putting your hands on Renjun’s cheeks, running one through his hair, “I love you too.”

“D-Do you know how far along you are?” Renjun asked, sniffling slightly.

You shook your head, “that’s why they just asked me to schedule an appointment.”

“C-Can I come too?” Renjun asked.

You chuckled, “it’s your child too! Why would you even ask that?!”

Friday 9th August, 2024

“Ah, okay, I think we’re done for today,” Mark breathed, “well done guys!”

“Well done today,” Chenle exclaimed, the other five boys clapping and wishing each other well.

“Ah, I’m so tired,” Renjun said, trying to catch his breath as he sat at the side, downing his water.

“You’re telling me,” Jaemin sighed, “though I can’t wait to go home and see my Areum-ie!”

“How long until baby 2?” Jeno asked, “not long now, right?”

“5 months,” Jaemin nodded, chuckling nervously, “and Areum’s more excited than anyone.”

Renjun chuckled, “how’s your girlfriend now? Y/N’s only a few weeks but she just has so many cravings. I had to go and get vegetables at midnight the other day!”

“What?” Chenle asked.

“Hyung,” Jisung laughed, “are you serious?”

“Wha– ah! No! I ruined it!” Renjun exclaimed, “ah Y/N’s planning this whole dinner to announce it! You’re gonna have to act surprised when she announces it, okay?”

“Renjun, how couldn’t you have told us first!” Donghyuck exclaimed, shoving his friend.

“We’re your best friends, you little–“ Jaemin exclaimed, laughing.

“Congratulations, though,” Jeno smiled, “but you and Y/N aren’t married, what does your mum think?”

Renjun sighed, “that’s the problem.”

“Ah,” Mark sighed, “but you and Y/N are happy, right?”

“Of course, why would you ask that!” Donghyuck exclaimed, “Renjun looks at Y/N like she created the entire world!”

“Ya!” Renjun exclaimed, trying to hide his blush.

“Come on, we should go,” Jeno said, “especially lover boys over here, with their darling kids.”

Renjun rolled his eyes.

“Don’t worry,” Jaemin sighed, slinging his arm over Renjun’s shoulder, “you get used to it after a while.”

28th November, 2024

“Hi Mum,” Renjun sighed, “yeah, I’m alright. You? No! No, I’m fine. Yes, Y/N’s alright as well, we’re just as we always are.”

You rolled your eyes next to him and he hit your leg.

“You’d what?!” Renjun exclaimed, sitting up suddenly at his mum’s words.

“What? What?!” you mouthed.

“No, no, that- that’s fine, we’ll do dinner,” Renjun nodded, “yeah see you then, thanks mum.”

The phone line went dead and you scrambled to sit behind your boyfriend as he sat at the end of the bed.

“What is it?”

“My mum’s coming for Christmas,” Renjun sighed, taking your hand, “we’re going to have to tell her. God why haven’t we told her already?! Who thought this was a good idea!”

“Well no offence but you just said she could come for Christmas.”

“Y/N!”

20th December, 2024

“Mum! Dad!” Renjun exclaimed, pulling his mum into a hug, “it’s so great to see you.”

“Ah, Renjun, my son! I’ve missed you!” his mum exclaimed.

“It’s so good to see you again,” his dad smiled, pulling his son into a hug, “and I hear you’ve got some news for us?”

“Yes! Yeah, um, first shall I take your bags upstairs? Y/N’s just in the kitchen, food will be ready soon,” Renjun said.

“Oh, I’ll go and say hi to Y/N then,” his mum smiled.

“No!” Renjun exclaimed, conscious of your six-month-pregnant stomach, exposing your news, “come up and see your room. It’s all re-decorated!”

“Oh, okay then,” she laughed, following after her son and her husband.

Renjun breathed a sigh of relief, going and putting his parents’ suitcases in the spare room, showing it to them, along with the en-suite, and his own bedroom, which he shared with yours. And which he completely forgot came with an unassembled bassenette, and various other baby items. in the corner of it.

“What’s that?” his mum asked nosely, “is that a box for a cot?”

“Um, no! No! It’s just Christmas packages in... in old boxes?” Renjun tried.

“New for 2024?” his dad read off the side of the box.

Renjun sighed, shaking his head, “I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I tried to hide it, I have to tell you guys now anyway.”

“She’s pregnant, isn’t she?!” his mum asked, “Y/N. You got her pregnant.”

“Mum!” Renjun exclaimed.

“Well have you proposed?” his dad asked, “you can’t have a child without being married, you know.”

“Imagine how upset your grandma’s going to be when she finds out that you’re having a bastard child with a non-Chinese woman!” his mum ranted.

“Well, you know, Renjun, there are other options,” his dad said.

“Mum! Dad! Stop it!” Renjun exclaimed, “yes, Y/N’s pregnant, and even though it wasn’t a decision, I’ve decided to stick by my girlfriend and my son! I’m sorry if you don’t like that! But I love them both more than anything, ever!”

Renjun’s voice began to crack as he felt tears fall, “why can’t you just be happy for me?”

“Oh, Junnie,” his mum cooed, “are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“Yes! Yes! I love them so much, mum! You should see Y/N, even when she’s all big and pregnant she looks the most beautiful she’s ever looked and I just wish that you two could—“

“How far along is she, duck?” his mum asked, her voice and face kind as she held his arm gently.

“27 weeks,” Renjun said, “and I’ve got photos of him– do– do you want to see your grandson?”

“We’d like to greet Y/N as well,” his mum said, nodding.

His dad nodded, “Jun, we’re sorry. This is just very shocking, you know? You’ve gone and grown up without us being here and it’s hard.”

“You’ll know soon, though,” his mum chuckled, running a hand through her son’s hair, “when you’re a dad.”

“Mum, don’t cry,” Renjun chuckled, “come on, we’ll go and say hi to Y/N.”

They nodded, his dad speaking up, “yeah, I think we’re ready now. And for those photos of our grandson?”

Renjun’s heart swelled at those words, “they’re stuck on the fridge, don’t worry.”

The three walked down the stairs, Renjun leading the way into the kitchen where you were just taking off your oven gloves, the dinner you were cooking now all done.

You smiled, mouthing to your boyfriend, “okay?”

He smiled back, nodding, “mum, dad, meet your grandson.”

You chuckled, placing your hands on your bump, “I’m sure if you talk, he’ll move.”

Renjun’s mum’s eyes filled with tears as she pulled you into a hug, “I’m sorry for doubting you two, oh, Y/N, you look so beautiful.”

Renjun smiled as his dad wrapped an arm around his shoulders, “I told you so. Ah, wait, here, look at his photo.”

#nct #nct dream #nct dream scenarios #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #dad!nct #dad!nct dream #huang renjun #huang renjun scenarios #huang renjun imagines #huang renjun fluff #dad!huang renjun #dad!renjun #huang changming #sm #sm entertainment #kpop #dad!series #nct kids

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politicalsci · 4 years

Photo

Jeremy Corbyn helped my dad when nobody else would

By Sophia Leonie 9th December 2019

One day, my dad asked me to drop him to the airport. I couldn’t – it was last minute and I had other plans. When I asked what the urgency was, he said that he needed to put up a headstone for his recently deceased mother and attend her memorial. He had been going back and forth to Zimbabwe for years. I wished him a safe trip and hoped the memorial went well. We expected to meet and have lunch the following Sunday.

But he never came home.

My father, Francis Mtandwa, was one of Jeremy Corbyn’s constituents. Jeremy did everything in his power to bring him back. As the mainstream media continues to slander Jeremy and lifelong Labour supporters across the UK consider voting Tory, painfully against their own interests, because they fear he’s a racist, I can only despair.

I am happy and proud to call myself British. I’m mixed race. My mum watched my grandmother, fresh from Germany, deal with the hostility of a patriotic postwar Britain. My dad, who came to London in the 1970s from Zimbabwe, wanted a good education and had high hopes for a successful career. But upon entering the UK, he soon became a victim of unimaginable racism. Not just from a hostile public, media and fascist political parties like The National Front – but from the police too. Dad told me stories of frequent stop and searches, then named SUS laws. Once my parents married and with mixed race children in tow, racist abuse intensified. It was the 80s – Zimbabwe had just gained independence from British rule and Nelson Mandela was still in prison. Things were changing and a lot of people were unhappy about it...

Upon attempting to return from his trip to Zimbabwe, my dad was denied re-entry to the UK. The government wanted 30 years of proof that he had lived and worked here. No problem, we thought, the records all exist. But there was a catch: the Home Office said they would not seek out anything pre-digital, so it was up to us to find them. Friends and family all helped where they could, trying to contact people and organisations from years ago. Then our case suffered a massive setback. My father was in a house fire in Zimbabwe. He received 75% burns and suffered a stroke. Now severely disabled and with his speech affected, we were unable to continue our efforts without his guidance.

Desperate and distraught, my mum and I met with Jeremy Corbyn at one of his local constituency surgeries. The first time we tried, we attempted the walk-in clinic. The line reached far down the street and eventually we headed home and decided to take another approach. We emailed Jeremy, explained the situation and were invited down for an appointment a few days later. He came into the old church where the meetings were held, wheeling his bike. Taking his helmet off he looked at us, smiled, and apologised for being late. We followed him into a side room and I began to explain what had happened to my father. He listened carefully, making notes and asking questions. He said he was sorry and that he would write to the government, asking them to search their archives for records.

His request was eventually granted and working with Jeremy, we were confident we would have dad home in the next few months. But before this could happen, my father suffered another stroke in Zimbabwe. He passed away.

My dad was one of the earliest victims of the Tories’ “Windrush scandal” (which extended beyond the Caribbean, to other Commonwealth countries). Before it had a name, media coverage and national outrage, Jeremy cared. After my father passed, we immediately received a heartfelt letter from him sending his condolences and showing his support for our family at this tragic time.

I’m not saying vote Labour because Jeremy was nice to me and tried to help my family when nobody else would. I’m not saying vote Labour because my story is just one of many. I’m saying vote Labour because Jeremy is one of the only people in a position of possible real power, that truly, honestly cares about the vulnerable, the exiled, the poor and the disfranchised ahead of his own interests.

Which other politician has spent a year volunteering in Jamaica? Which other politician would happily be arrested fighting anti-racist regimes like apartheid? And again in 1987 when the Tory government called the ANC terrorists? At the Battle of Wood Green on 23 April1977, the National Front planned a march through Turnpike Lane, North London, to celebrate Hitler’s birthday. Jeremy, then a Labour councillor for Haringey, helped to organise a powerful counter-protest, involving approximately 3-4,000 people, who successfully stopped the Nazis from marching through the busy multicultural high street that Saturday afternoon.

Labour’s leader has also forged other long-standing relationships with constituents, which he goes out of his way to maintain. My aunty Katrin, who also lives in Islington, told me of how he would often pop round and visit her and her husband. “The last time he came we chatted in the hallway for ages and before he left he said: ‘Is there anything I can do for you?’ – I looked at the four bikes in my cramped hallway and said ‘A bike shed would be nice!’ A few months later, guess what? A bike shed appeared by the flats.”

Another Islington resident, Tina, told me of how, in the mid-2000s, she and other local residents went down to Islington Town Hall in an attempt to save their local community centre from closure and Jeremy was there. He sat next to her and as they chatted, he mentioned that he had just returned from East Timor (an island nation near Indonesia) earlier that day and had to be at the BBC at 7am, but wouldn’t have missed this. That is the real Jeremy Corbyn.

The relentless, constant media slander of Jeremy really tries to make people forget this – but we must not. With people like Rachel Riley literally trying to erase his history of anti-racist activism, the history of Jeremy’s passion for human rights, his kindness and absolute love for people of all races and backgrounds will always be firmly cemented in the minds of us in Islington North.

The mainstream media are throwing everything they have at Jeremy right now, shamelessly weaponising what little they have in bad faith because, if in power, Jeremy will challenge the right wing press, and they know it. So if you’re a Labour supporter with a zero-tolerance for racism and have been confused recently about whether Jeremy’s politics align with your own – don’t be. Look at his record. Jeremy has spent his entire life fighting against racism.

For the rest of us trying to navigate post-Brexit racist Britain, with debt, insecure living arrangements, trying to get on the housing ladder, juggling zero-hour contracts, the Labour party offers an alternative to capitalist struggle. If you look beyond the smear campaign, the media bias, and the non-polished suit, you’ll see a man who is disliked because he is simply unwilling to look and behave like other politicians. A man who cares about substance rather than surface. A man who, just as he helped me, can help you too.

[x]

#politics #jeremy corbyn #uk politics #jc4pm #tories out #labour party #the left #media bias #windrush #racism #tories #conservative party #british politics #britpol

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george-mackay-macfine · 4 years

Text

Dear Diary Prt. 9

November 9th, 2011

Dear Diary

After yesterdays events I felt like today was super mundane, but it was nice… To wrap up what happened yesterday, Dean and Harry came to pick me up from the library, Charlotte was long gone by this pint her mum had come to pick her up an hour or two before I’d called Harry , but we’d made plans for her to come over to the flat on Friday. I’m going to cook us dinner, we’re going to do some studying then maybe watch a movie…

Talking to Charlotte had really changed my outlook on life, I won’t pretend I’m going to be the mother Theresa right away, but I really want to change the way I look at things. If someone like Charlotte can go through so much, and come out the other side still smiling then why can’t I?

I’m going to try at least,

Love Y/N,

November 11th, 2011

Dear Diary

Dinner went… Okay,

Eight hours ago

“So who is this chick?” Dean quizzed me as we walked through the supermarket looking for all the ingredients we needed to make nachos. “You’ve never mentioned her before,”

“Yes I did,”

“No, you didn’t,” He countered.

“Yes. I. Did,”

“No. You. Did. Not,” Dean and I stood toe to toe, his jaw clenched and a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

“Harry,” I called not taking my eyes off Dean, “A ruling here.”

“She did mention her,” Harry called tiredly. He’d been shopping with Dean and I for the last twenty minutes and this was the third argument we’d gotten into… None of them meant anything but they were annoying Harry none-the-less. “Sorry mate,”

“Fine.” Dean’s eyes thinned into slits. “You win this one Y/L/N,” He turned to Harry and threw a soft punch into his bicep, “Thanks for having my back bro…”

“Hey, don’t punch him,” I punched Dean in the arm, He grabbed it his mouth opening in a pain-filled hiss.

“Ouch,” He cried. “Why’d you do that…”

“Well….” I stuttered lamely looking for an excuse, “Don’t punch people,”

“But you punched me,”

“It was a lesson,”

“Enough now children,” Harry taunted stepping between us. “Let’s just finish the shopping and we can get home,”

“Fine, you win this one Y/N,” Dean pulled up the list,

“That’d be the second one I’ve won then Dean,” I smirked innocently.

“Y/N,” Harry groaned, his hand flying to his forehead.

“Y/N, I swear to -,”

“Dean, please, just let it go.” Harry cried his hand still against his forehead.

“Fine.” He huffed. "I’ll go grab the salsa, you two get the meat and vegetables.” He threw the list back into the basket and walked off. Harry and I stood watching him for a second,

“He’s a child,” I muttered,

“You’re both children,” Harry quipped. “Is George coming over tonight?” Harry inquired as we began to walk again,

“No, just Charlotte,” I lent across him to pick up a white onion, “I haven’t seen George since the other night,”

“You two have a fight?” I looked up at Harry as he fiddled with some garlic bulbs.

“No,”

“You two are just normally together,” I shrugged my shoulders,

“I dunno what you want me to say?” I looked away from Harry.

“Did something happen between you?”

Now Y/N, think carefully is this a good time to divulge to Harry that you kissed George?

“Well…” I trailed off, eyes squinting as I racked my brain for the best way to tell Harry,

“Well, what?”

“George and I may have … kissed,” I moved away from him walked down the end to grab some carrots. “Three times,”

“Wow.”

“Wow?”

“I mean congratulations,” Harry sighed running a hand through his hair, “That’s great, exactly what you wanted isn’t it?” He walked towards me, “I mean you have feelings for him,”

“Still so obvious?” Harry’s lips broke into a breathy smile.

“You’re getting better at hiding it,” He shrugged his shoulders, “But you still give him the look,”

“And is it still as pathetic as ever?”

“Nothing you ever do will be pathetic Y/N, when are you going to accept that?”

“I’m an idiot,”

“Oh?”

“I told him I didn’t want anything more,”

“Y/N,”

“Only because he said it was ‘just a kiss’ and that ‘friends kiss all the time,’… twice!” I cried. “God I’m so stupid,”

“He said that?” Harry questioned, “Like he really said that?” I nodded my head, “What a dick move,”

“I get why,” I walked away from Harry over to the other side of the displays, “I’m not like the girls he chases… I’m not blonde, skinny…. You know the spiel by now,”

“Y/N, you have got to have the thickest head ever,”

“Harry !”

“I mean it, who cares if you're not blonde, or you aren’t super thin… you’re a great person,” Harry leant on the display crossing his hands, “Remember when I told you that you were nothing like those girls? That you were smart, funny and you’re beautiful without even trying?” I nodded my head, “I meant it… MacKay is an idiot for saying that shit too you, and one day it’s going to bite him in the arse.” Harry shook his head, “You want to know what happened between Oliver and me?”

“If you want to share it,”

“Oliver made a comment about -,”

“Got the salsa,” Dean cried as he rounded the corner, “And you two have not moved.” He looked between Harry and I, “I thought you wanted to get out of here as soon as possible, and yet here you are yapping away,” He shook his head, tone dripping with false disappointment.

“Shut up Dean,” I groaned, “C’mon, let’s go,”

Stupid Dean, he was just about to tell me.

“Yes! Let’s go meet Charlotte,” Dean cried sarcastically pulling me under his arm, “And cannot wait to eat more of your food Y/N,” I gasped and pushed him away,

“Hey!” I cried, “I’m a good cook,”

“No, you’re not. You’re horrible.”

“Am not,”

“Are too,”

“Harry ?”

“He’s right Y/N, you’re not the best cook…” Harry trailed off as Dean threw his hands up victoriously,

“Two to One,” He held up two fingers, dropping one quickly. “I’m catching you,”

“You two ate my soup last week!”

“Toilet,” Dean shrugged,

“What about the stir-fry dinner I left for you and the guys last when you were watching the football?”

“Jordan and Henry may have thrown it off the balcony,” Harry meekly replied,

“But…”

“Tonight should be fine though, how can you mess up nachos?” Dean chuckled.

Six hours ago

“Nachos…” Harry mumbled as he pulled up one of the burnt corn-chips. “Look great,”

“What’s that smell?” Charlotte asked from her spot across from me, “Is something burning?”

“Something is burnt,” Dean chuckled, “How do you like your nachos Charlotte? Crispy? Or burnt?”

“Dean,”

“Maybe we should just order pizza?” I sighed slouching in my chair. Somehow I’d let Dean distract me as I put the dish of nachos in the over to melt the cheese and the next thing I knew the flat was filled with smoke, “If Dean didn’t distract me none of this would have happened!”

“Not my fault I’m so dashingly distracting,”

“Shut up Dean,” I groaned.

“Are you though?” Charlotte teased, “I mean, Y/N told me about Harry, but you were never mentioned,”

“Oh,” Dean turned to look at me, “Is that so?”

“Mhhm,” Charlotte hummed, her hand reaching down to pat Bronte’s head, “All about his dreamy eyes, and how cute he looks in the morning,”

“Charlotte!” I protested my head falling into my hands, “It wasn’t like that!”

“Oh yeah?” Harry laughed this time, “Then what was it like?”

“I hate you all!”

“I dunno, it seems like you find Harry to be … what was the word she used Charlotte,” I could hear the smirk in Dean’s voice,

“I believe it was ‘adorable with a large dash of sexy,’… am I right Y/N,”

“Oh my god,” I groaned banging my head gently on the table, “Kill me,”

“But, if we killed you, you wouldn’t get to look at this adorable face,” Harry taunted from his seat beside me,

“I’m going to murder you, Harry,”

“But then you wouldn’t see my beautiful face again,”

Five hours ago

“More wine?” I asked getting up from the couch as the intro for the big bang theory started up again,

“None for me… mum will kill me if I walk down hammered,” Charlotte replied turning back to her conversation with Dean.

“Harry ?”

“Yes, please,” He passed his glass over to me as I passed him, I glanced at the books Charlotte and I had pulled out with the intent to study only to have our attention dragged to Dean and Harry’s lively conversations about the big bang theory. Looking back at Charlotte and seeing how happily she and Dean were I couldn’t break them apart and ask her to study with me. “I’ll help you later tonight,” Harry spoke lowly as he followed me into the kitchen,

“Thanks,” I jumped up onto the bench and began picking at the cold, burnt nachos. “They’re getting along,”

“Like a house on fire,” He agreed pulling the bottle towards us, “I never was a fan of red wine,”

“Until,”

“Until I realised buying a shitty bottle of wine was cheaper than vodka,” He flashed me a toothy smile. “Then I became a big fan of red wine,”

“I always thought it made me look sophisticated, drinking it.”

“But do you feel sophisticated,” I reached out and grabbed the bottle from him,

“Anytime we aren’t drinking from the bottle,”

“So not a lot then?” He grinned.

“Not a lot,” I confirmed with a giggle of my own.

“About what George said to you,”

“Can’t we just forget it, Harry?”

“No, I want you to know that he’s a nitwit,” I passed the bottle over to Harry with a roll of my eyes. “I’m being serious,”

“Harry … let’s just forget this. From this point on, I am swearing off guys. I’m going to go to class, hang out with Charlotte and you, and Blake and Henry, and study… that’s it… This George thing has been enough to send me mental,”

Y/N's new life rules

No guys, just study... Especially if that guy's name starts with a G... Study, Study, Study

Learn to cook,

Study

No falling back to the old ways where you fawn and fall all over a certain boy with a G name.

Try not to mention to any future friends how cute you think your roommate is.

#george mackay #george mackay x reader #GeorgeMackay #George MacKay fanfic #George MacKay Imagine #Harry Styles #Harry Styles x Reader #Harry Styles Imagine #HarryStyles #Harry Styles Fanfic

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shawtygonemad · 3 years

Text

What Is This Feeling: Chapter 9

Fem!9th Doctor x Male!Rose Tyler

WITF Masterlist

The last time we saw our dynamic duo they had picked up a stray from Utah. Adele was only with them for one adventure, before she almost got them killed. She also got an information port embedded into her forehead which is a big taboo. You never try and change the future or past in a dramatic way. So, the Doctor once again had to save the day. Needless to say, Adele was dumped back off at her place once they were out of danger.

Ross and the Doctor were currently relaxing in the control room throwing around ideas on which place they should explore next. The Doctor was sitting on the jumper rolling a ball between her hands.

"How about the planet of Junifer? It's really beautiful this time of year. They have one of the best flower festivals in the universe," she suggested with a smile.

Ross shook his head. He seemed really off this morning. She had asked him earlier if anything was the matter. He had denied that something was wrong. The Doctor left it at that assuming he had wanted his space. However, this was the fifth place that he had rejected.

"Alright. Is there any place that you're wanting to go to," she asked.

"Well… there is one place I've been thinking a lot about. Well it's more of a time rather than a place," He started. "I want to meet my dad. Peter Alan Tyler. The greatest man in the world. Born 15th September 1954. My mum would always take out a photo album and start telling me about him. I wasn't old enough to remember him. He died on 1987, 7th of November. It was the day that Stuart Hoskins and Sarah Clarke got married. That what mum always said. So I was thinking, could we, could we go and see my dad when he was alive," he said somberly.

"Where's this come from, all of a sudden," she furrowed her brows at him.

"All right then, if we can't, if it goes against the laws of time or something, then never mind, just leave it," he mumbled as he began to absentmindedly touch knobs on the TARDIS's console.

The Doctor furrowed her brows as she studied her favorite pink and yellow human. This was a simple adventure. There's nothing wrong with Ross wanted to see his dad alive. She was just a bit worried how Ross would take in the event. Humans seem to be much more emotional than Time Lords.

"No, I can do anything. I'm just worried about you," she gazed at her companion with concerned eyes.

"I want to see him," Ross confirmed.

"Your wish is my command," The Doctor smiled. "But be careful what you wish for."

The Time Lord hopped up onto her feet and began her dance around the console, hitting buttons, twisting knobs, pulling levers. This console is originally meant for at least 8 Time Lords to operate her. It was miracle the Doctor was able to do it by herself. Although she has had many years of practice under her belt now.

The pair arrived just in time for the wedding ceremony. They didn't want to be noticed to much in case people came asking questions, so they sat in the back pew. It wasn't very formal. Jackie didn't even wear a white dress. She was in a baby pink pencil skirt with a matching blouse and blazer. As she walked down the aisle towards Peter she seemed to be a mixture of happiness, nerves, and dare she say doubt. Peter, on the other hand, was all nerves.

"Repeat after me. I, Peter Alan Tyler, take you, Jacqueline Angela Suzette Prentice…" The officiant spoke.

"I, Peter Alan Tyler, take you, Jacqueline Angela Suzanne…" Everyone's eyes grew large with the mix up. Peter tried to correct himself but dug himself an even further hole. "Suzanne Anita…"

"That wasn't even remotely close," The Doctor thought. "I never thought I would say this, but poor Jackie. This bloke must have been sneaking around behind her back. And yet she still wants to marry him."

All eyes were on Jackie now, awaiting her response. "Oh, just carry on. It's good enough for Lady Di."

The Doctor grinned. Of course, it was such a Jackie response.

"I thought he's be taller," Ross whispered.

After the ceremony, they snuck out before the newly bride and groom could make their rounds greeting all of their guests and thanking them. They were back in the TARDIS once again.

"Well that was fun, wasn't it?" the Doctor grinned as she practically skipped around the console. She had hoped this would make her little human feel a little bit better. She hated it when he was feeling down.

Ross moved towards the Doctor slow and hesitantly. He still wore a frown on his face. His eyes were trained on the ground.

"I- I remember mum telling me that no one was there. When he died that is. It was a hit and run driver. Never found out who. He was dead when the ambulance got there," Ross finally looked up and met the Doctor's gaze. "I want to be that someone."

The Time Lord of course gave in. "November the 7th?"

"1987," he finished.

The Doctor flipped some switches and the Time Rotor once again started up. Once they landed the TARDIS parked herself between a telephone junction box and a road sign by Park Railings. They stepped outside to the sound of Never Can Say Goodbye playing off in the distance. The Doctor took a deep breath in and looked around.

"It's so weird. The day my father died. I thought I'd be all grim and stormy. It's just an ordinary day," Ross softly spoke and also gazed around.

"The past is another country. 1987's just the Isle of Wight," she looked at her companion. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah," he quickly replied and nodded his head. He also threw the Doctor a reassured smile.

"Alright then. Off we go," she spoke with a smile before walking off.

A few blocks away Ross stopped and stared at a road with minor disbelief.

"This is it. Jordan Road. He was late. He'd been getting a wedding present, a vase." He started to choke up a little bit. "Mum always said, 'that stupid vase'."

Just then a car rounded the corner. It was Peter.

Ross continued narrating the scene unfolding before them.

"He got out of his car…" The car pulled up to the curb. "And crossed the road…" He watched with slight horror. "Oh God, this is it."

The Doctor wrapped Ross's hand with hers and held it as Peter got out of his car. She wanted to comfort Ross that was the only subtle way she could do it.

The two watched in silence. As Peter got out he was instantly hit but the driver. Ross shut his eyes during the impact. The car zoomed away leaving Peter and the vase lying broken in the street. The Doctor turned to Ross.

"Go to him. Quick."

Ross stood there frozen in horror. Tears formed in his eyes as he watched his father slow die in the street.

"I can't…" he softly whispered.

Once the Doctor realized that he was in shock and not going to his father's aid, she slowly steered him away. The went around the corner and sat on the ground with their backs against the brick wall. The Doctor held Ross's hand slowly running her thumb over the back of it comfortingly until Ross snapped out of his daze. The ambulances sirens could be heard arriving.

"It's too late now. By the time the ambulance got there, he was dead." Ross looked at the Doctor sorrowfully, with tears running down his cheeks. It pained the Doctor to see him like this. "He can't die alone. Can I try again?"

She caved once more to please her little human.

The Doctor and Ross hide behind the corner to see themselves waiting by the curbside.

"Right, that's the first you and me. It's a very bad idea, two sets of us being here at the same time. Just be careful they don't see us. Wait till she leads him off, then go to your dad," the Doctor informed him. Peter got out of his car.

"Oh God, this is it," Past Ross said.

"I can't do this," Present Ross spoke, slightly panicked.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but this is the last time that we can be here," the Doctor told him.

Ross suddenly sprinted towards Peter as he was getting out of his car.

"Ross! No!" The Doctor yelled.

Ross wrapped his arms around his father and threw both of them off to the side of the road out of the way of the driver. The previous Doctor and Ross disappeared. Oh, no no no! This was not good!

The doctor didn't notice Peter pointing at her. She was too busy seething. Stupid, Stupid humans! This was all a ploy, wasn't it? Have her take him back just so he could save his father's life! Was he planning this all along? Buddy on up to her and then convince her to take him here. It's no bloody wonder he hoped on in the TARDIS as soon as he said that it could travel back in time.

The Doctor hadn't said a single word the entire way to the Tyler's flat. Even once they were inside and Peter started to yammer on about some invention. The Doctor waited until she was alone with Ross in the living room. Her arms were folded across her chest and she leaned against the door frame. She watched Ross analyzing the place and continue to speak about unimportant things in the apartment like his father's bowling trophy of health drinks. The Doctor could honestly care less and glared at Ross completely cross.

"'Kay, look, I'll tell him you're not my girlfriend," he said thinking that's why she was so annoyed. How could this daft human no understand the entirety of this situation?! How could he? He was just a stupid little human.

"When we met, I said travel with me in space. You said no. Then I said time machine," she spoke trying to cover the hurt in her voice.

"It wasn't some big plan. I just saw it happening and I thought…I can stop it," Ross defended himself.

The Doctor gave herself a sad smile. "I did it again. I picked another stupid ape. I should've known. It's not about showing you the universe. It never is. It's about the universe doing something for you."

"So it's okay when you go to other times, and you save people's lives, but not when it's me saving my dad-"

"I know what I'm doing! You don't!" She cut him off. "Two sets of us being there made that a very vulnerable point," she tried to explain.

"But he's alive!"

"My ENTIRE planet died. My family! Do you think it never occurred to me to go back and save them?"

"But it's not like I've changed history. Not much. I mean he's never going to be a world leader. He's not going to start World War Three or anything," he tried to rationalize.

"Ross, there's a man alive in the world who wasn't alive before. An ordinary man. That's the most important thing in creation. The whole world's different because he's alive," she kept trying to explain to him.

"What, would you rather him dead?"

"I'm not saying that," she shook her head in annoyance.

"No, I get it! For once you're not the most important person in my life," he told her full of bitter.

This struck a pain in her chest. She, at one point, was the most important person in Ross Tyler's life. Above Mickey, her mum, everyone. And now she wasn't. It hurt so much. It angers her that it hurts so much. Why does she feel this way? Why did she have to form feelings for this ape? She should know by now that they all hurt her. They all leave her in the end. Why did she think that this one was any different?

"Let's see how you get on without me, then. Give me the key." She held her hand out. "The TARDIS key. If I'm so insignificant, give it me back," It truly pained her to say these words, but she put up her cool, stony look so he couldn't see what he had done to her.

"Alright then, I will," he said and placed the key into her hand.

"You got what you wanted, so that's goodbye then," she spoke coolly, before turning around and began to leave.

"You don't scare me," he cut her off and stood in front of her. "I know how sad you are. You'll be back in a minute, or you'll hang around outside the Tardis waiting for me. And I'll make you wait a long time," he yelled after her.

She quickly left the flat. She didn't want him to see a truly sad she was. Her pace was quick as she walked down the sidewalk towards the TARDIS. Hot tears were forming in her eyes. She angrily wiped them away. Why was she crying over a stupid ape? She very rarely cried, and she was not going to start crying over Ross!

The TARDIS was in sight. Just as she reached it a cold wind blew past right. She felt as if something was watching her. She looked up towards the sky to find nothing there. She shook her head as she unlocked the door and started to push open the door. That familiar hum and warm was gone. Throwing the doors open she found that the inside of the TARDIS was gone! Now it was just an ordinary telephone booth. She must have been too busy arguing with Ross and feeling sorry for herself that she didn't notice the connection to her old friend had disappeared. This was not good! Everyone was in trouble.

"Ross!" She yelled before sprinting off towards the church the wedding was being held at. The flat would be empty by the time she got there. An old church might actually be the best place to be in a situation like this. She ran as fast as she could. She just hoped that she would make it in time.

As she turned the corner leading to the church she saw Ross standing on the side walk along with the bride, bridesmaids, Peter, and more. They all are in immediate danger.

"Ross!" Ross turned around and smiled knowingly at the Doctor assuming she came back because she missed him. "Get in the church!" She yelled. Ross's smile fell.

Just then they both looked into the sky to see a large creature with bat-like wings appear. It was very devilish looking. The reaper hissed and started to swoop in on Ross. He cried out in fear as it almost latched its talons onto him. The Doctor quickly took action and pushed them both onto the ground and out of the reaper's grab.

"Get in the church," she said once again, to everyone.

The ground quickly headed for the church only to be stopped at the inside of the gates when another reaper appeared. The Doctor put herself in front of the other's ready to distract the beast if need be.

"Oh, my God. What are they? What are they," one woman cried.

"Inside," the Doctor kept yelling trying to coral them in.

"Sarah," the groom yelled for his bride-to-be and stepped outside.

"Stay in there," the Doctor yells at him.

One man, the father of the groom, took in the situation and decided to try and escape. The reapers pounce on him before he could even get a few feet away. Another one appears in the bride's path and she just screams at it, scaring it away. It decided to take that vicar as its next victim. This gave the group some time to make it safely into the church.

Once inside the Doctor began to survey the area making sure they the reapers couldn't get in. Their screeches rang loudly outside of the church.

"They can't get in. Old windows and doors. Okay. The older something is, the stronger it is. What else?" Her mind was racing a million miles a second. She had to make sure they couldn't get in. At least for the time being so she could figure out how to get them out of this mess. "Go and check the other doors! Move!" She cried out orders like the true warrior that she once was.

As the Doctor began to move around Jackie followed. "What's Happening? What are they? What are they," Jackie asked.

"There's been an accident in time. A wound in time. They're like bacteria, taking advantage," she informed her as the Doctor began checking other doors and windows.

"What do you mean, time? What're you jabbering on about, time?" Jackie snarked back, like always.

"Oh, I might've known you'd argue. Jackie, I'm sick of you complaining," the Doctor rolled her eyes.

"How do you know my name," Jackie demanded.

"I haven't got time for this-" the Doctor was cut off by Jackie once more.

"I've never met you in my life," Jackie exclaimed.

"No, and you never will unless I sort this out. Now, if you don't mind, I've waited a long time to say this. Jackie Tyler, do as I say. Go and check the doors," she ordered the woman.

Jackie was shocked to finally be yelled back at. She quickly nodded her head and replied with a 'Yes Ma'am' before running off to check the doors and windows.

"I should have done that ages ago," she laughed.

The groom walked over to the Doctor. "My dad was out there."

"You can mourn him later. Right now, we need to concentrate on keeping ourselves alive,'" the Doctor told him.

"My dad had-"

"There's nothing that I can do for him," she told him firmly.

"No, but he had this phone thing. I can't get it to work. I keep getting this voice." He passed to phone to the Doctor. She put it up to her ear and listened.

"Watson, come here. I need you," it said. The Doctor smiled.

"That's the very first phone call. Alexander Graham Bell. I don't think the telephone's going to be much use," she passed it back to him.

"But someone must have called the police," he said.

"Police can't help you now. No one can. Nothing in this universe can harm those things. Time's been damaged and they've come to sterilize the wound. By consuming everything inside," she explained to everyone. Her eyes locked with Ross who was standing in front of her.

"Is this because… is this my fault?" He asked. The Doctor didn't answer as she stepped around him.

She was still really made at him, so she decided to go off and work rather than say something she might regret later. The Time Lord strode up to the front of the church and began to use her sonic to bolt the doors down. Just was she was doing so the bride and groom approached her.

"Excuse me, Miss," the groom said.

"Doctor," she corrected him.

"You seem to know what's going on," he stated.

"I give that impression, yeah," she said not removing her eyes from her work. In reality she really had no idea how she was going to get them out of this situation.

"I just wanted to ask-" he was cut off by his fiancée.

"Can you save us," she asked abruptly.

This made the Doctor stop her work and turn towards the couple.

"Who are you two, then," she asked, look at them both up and down.

"Stuart Hoskins," the groom said.

"Sarah Clarke," the bride followed.

The Doctor's eyes strayed onto Sarah's slightly protruding stomach.

"And one extra. Boy or a girl?" She asked.

Sarah looked down at her stomach and smiled while caressing it, "I don't know. I don't want to know, really."

"How did all this get started," the Doctor cocked her head, and asked curiously.

"Outside the beatbox club, two in the morning," Stuart grinned at Sarah.

"Street corner," Sarah added with a laugh. "I lost my purse, didn't have money for a taxi."

"I took her home," he said happily.

"Then what? Ask her for a date," the Doctor laughed.

"Wrote his number on the back of my hand," Sarah confirmed.

"Never got rid of her since," he grinned. " My dad said-" he trailed off with a frown.

"I don't know what this is all about, and I know we're not important-" Sarah began sadly.

"Who said you're not important? I've travelled to all sorts of places, done things you couldn't even imagine, but you two. Street corner, two in the morning, getting a taxi home. I've never had a life like that. Yes. I'll try and save you." The Time Lord smiled at the pair.

Suddenly Jackie began to call her over. As she walked over to the blonde she began to prepare for another lecture of some sort. She was surprised when Jackie asked if she could watch baby Ross while she went and looked for Peter and little Mickey. She of course obliged. Little Ross looked up at her and began to smile. This made the Doctor's heart soar. Even though she was still a little ticked at her Ross, she had no reason to be angry with this little one. He was even as cute as his current Ross.

She sat down beside him and offered him to play with her fingers a she smiled down. She began to talk to him knowing very well that he would not understand her. However, the present Ross approaching them would.

"Now, Ross you're not going to bring about the end of the world, are you? Are you?" She gave a sideways glance to Ross. "Jackie gave her to me to look after. How times change."

Ross gave a small laugh. "I'd better be careful. I think I just imprinted myself on Mickey like a mother chicken."

He began to lean in close to the baby. The Doctor put her hand on his chest to stop him.

"No. Don't touch the baby. You're both the same person. That's a paradox, and we don't want a paradox happening, not with these things outside. Anything new, any disturbance in time makes them stronger. The paradox might let them in," she informed him.

"I can't do anything right, can I," he mumbled dejected.

The Doctor looked at him and frowned. She knew he was hurting, but he needed to learn from his mistake. If he wanted to continue to travel with her then he can't make stupid and dangerous mistakes like this again.

"Since you asked, no! So, Don't. Touch. The baby." She emphasized every word so he would understand.

"I'm not stupid," he glared at her.

"You could have fooled me," she shot back. Ross looked away, sad and a little angry. She knew that she had to be the one to cave first and fix this bitterness between them. She really hated it when they were like this. "Alright, I'm sorry. I wasn't really going to leave you on your own."

"I know," he looked at her with apologetic eyes.

"But between you and me, I haven't got a plan. No idea. No way out," she confessed.

"You'll think of something. You always do."

"The entire Earth's been sterilized. This, and other places like it, are all that's left of the human race. We might hold out for a while, but nothing can stop those creatures. They'll get through in the end. The walls aren't that old. And there's nothing I can do to stop them. There used to be laws stopping this kind of thing from happening. My people would have stopped this. But they're all gone. And now I'm going the same way."

"If I'd just realized…" he began.

"Just… tell me you're sorry," she looked at him.

"I am. I'm sorry," and he meant it.

The Doctor reached out and placed a hand on his cheek. Ross held onto it with his hand and leaned into the touch. The Time Lord grinned at him and the both fell into a hug. Ross leaned back with a small jolt.

"Have you got something hot," he asked. He reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out the TARDIS key. It was scolding hot which made him quickly toss it to the ground.

"It's the TARDIS key," she grinned and quickly took off her leather jacket to pick up the flowing key. "It's telling me it's still connected to the TARDIS. Everyone! I have an announcement!" She ran up to the back of the church and faced the entire crowd. "The inside of my ship was thrown out of the wound but we can use this to bring it back. And once I've got my ship back, then I can mend everything. Now, I just need a bit of power. Has anybody got a battery?"

Stuart quickly grabbed his dad's phone and passed it to the Doctor.

"Fantatic!" She grinned. She took the battery and began to charge it up with her sonic. Once it was ready she placed the key where the door would be and it held in place. The TARDIS slowly began to materialize around it. "Right, no one touches that key. Have you got that? Don't touch it. Anyone touches that key, it'll be, well, zap. Just leave it be and everything will be fine. We'll get out of here. All of us. Stuart, Sarah you're going to get married, just like I said." She grinned at the couple.

Afterwards there was nothing much to do except wait. Ross and the Doctor sat in one of the back pews with Peter in the one directly behind them. Ross leaned towards the Doctor and began to speak softly.

"When time gets sorted out-" he began.

"Everybody here forgets what happened. And don't worry, the thing that you changed will stay changed," she finished his thought.

"You mean I'll still be alive, though I'm meant to be dead. That's why I haven't done anything with my life, why I didn't mean anything," Peter started from behind them.

"It doesn't work like that," the Doctor said.

"Rubbish. I'm so useless I couldn't even die properly. Now it's my fault all of this has happened," Peter said with a frown.

"This is my fault," Ross reassured him.

"No, mate. I'm your dad. It's my job for it to be my fault," Peter stated.

The Doctor got up and shook her head in frustration. Of course, Ross told him.

"Her dad? How are you her dad? How old were you, twelve? Oh, that's disgusting," Jackie said, overhearing the entire conversation.

"Jacks, listen. This is Ross," he tried to explain.

"Ross? How sick is that? You give my son a second-hand name? How many are there? Do you call them all Ross," Jackie yelled defensively.

"Oh, for God's sake, look! It's the same Ross," Peter said taking baby Ross out of Jackie's hands and place him into Ross's hands.

"Ross! No!" The Doctor yelled, but it was too late. She grabbed the baby and placed him back into Jackie's arms.

Just then a reaper formed inside the church causing panic. "Everyone! Behind me!" They all ran behind the Doctor as she held her arms out in a sad attempt to protect them all. She stared up at the creature with fear in her eyes. "I'm the oldest thing in here."

Within a blink of an eye the reaper flew towards her. There was a second of pain. Then darkness.

The Doctor woke up on the ground where she was attacked completely unharmed. She felt her body and did a quick once over. She was fine, and was not regenerate. While getting up on her feet the first thought to cross her mind was to find Ross. As she stepped outside she began to observe the situation. Peter was lying in the middle of the road once again with a broken vase. He must have sacrificed himself to set everything right. She walked up next to Ross.

"Go to him. Quick," she told him.

With that bit of encouragement, he ran off to be with his father during his final moments. The Doctor finally approached the scene once I was over. She held put her hand for Ross to take. He did, and the two walked hand in hand back to the TARDIS for some much needed down time before their next adventure.

#romance #adventure #doctor x rose #doctor who fanfic #doctor who #the doctor #doctor who fanfiction #bbc doctor who #doctor who imagine #ninth doctor #9th doctor x rose #9th doctor #the doctor x rose tyler #rose tyler #genderbent #fem!9th doctor x male!rose tyler #fem!9th doctor #male!rose tyler

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ieatwoodlice · 3 years

Text

Story I wrote lol

Little People

By Enbyinavan

I have sat at this bus stop for 2 hours. I’m not going anywhere, I just like to watch the little people sitting down, getting up again, getting on busses. These people will never see me again, and I find that comforting. Some people think I’m creepy, but I don’t care, because I am so much bigger than them.

15th January 2006

Today there were 17 people at the bus stop in total, 05:00am till 04:00pm. The most interesting person there was a pregnant woman who started crying, really, really loudly. I don’t know why, and I wanted to ask but I don’t talk to people very often and I was worried that she would think I was offering support. When she got on the bus I could see she was looking at me, and I could tell she already thought I was a support system. That’s one thing I don’t understand about people, they always expect you to do things out of compassion or pity. I don’t think people should have any expectations of others, manners are just people holding strangers to unachievable standards. I don’t agree with these things, but I can’t stop them because if they stopped then I wouldn’t want to watch them, they wouldn’t be interesting. The bus stop would be useless and I would have to go back to my apartment... with the mould behind the sink.

16th January 2006

Today there were 29 people at the bus stop, because I stayed a bit later than usual to make up for the time lost in the morning. I was running errands for the landlady, her name is Mallory. Her husband died a few years ago and now she’s some lady’s sugar momma, I don’t believe in landladies or lords but she’s actually really cool. She always talks about music and art and festivals, and occasionally the medical benefits of LSD.

Some lady at the stop tried to hit on me today. She looked a bit like the landlady but she wasn’t as cool, she had these really long fake lashes on and kept fluttering them at me. Not much else to report today.

17th January 2006

I didn’t count the people at the stop today, I forgot. I like things like this, because if there was no one there to receive that information, then did it even exist in the first place? It’s like that thing about a tree falling in the woods with no one there to hear it. I’m not too bothered about the little people today, because I found another thing I’m interested in. ‘Come here and get away from me’ by Ezra Furman. It’s a great song, but the song itself was not what interested me, it was a lyric. The lyric talked about being in a car with your friend who is asleep while a man on a motorcycle circles around and when the sun comes up you have been awake all night and when you tell your friend about the man, you aren’t too sure if he was ever really there. I love this lyric. The way Ezra sings gives it a sense of helplessness and frustration with your disassociation from reality, that’s how I feel a lot of the time. I watch the little people living their lives and I am painfully aware of my constant unsureness of where my life is going. If I ever see an interesting person, like the man on the motorcycle, it intimidates me and makes me feel lesser in comparison to them, even stagnant, like porridge when you cook it too long and the top layer congeals, but at the same time I feel like I am constantly being thrust into a new reality. It reminds me of another Ezra Furman lyric: There’s nothing happening and it’s happening to fast.

18th January 2006

I saw the pregnant lady today. She was no longer pregnant. When I saw her she looked different, grey and not totally alive. I am not scared of death, I am not scared of physical pain... but mental anguish terrifies me, and I have never seen another person with that amount of mental pain in their eyes. I went home afterwards and I’m writing this in my kitchen while the couple next door shout at each other, they do this often and this time it’s about the wife accusing him of cheating when he’s still throwing a tantrum about her not wanting kids. I tried to take a nap when they stopped shouting for a while, but I kept thinking about the pregnant lady. I don’t intend to sleep at all tonight.

19th January 2006

I didn’t go to the bus stop today. Yes, it’s embarrassing that a stranger put me off doing what I love most, but it’s a good opportunity for me. If I don’t go, then I can have a clearer view and opinion of past events, because I’m not at the place where they all occurred. I decided I should write a bit about those past events.

{Memory 1: the fight} 2 years and 15 days ago, I saw a fight across the street between 2 people. I did some research and I know that their names were Robert Truham and Adam Taylor, I saw them fighting at exactly 11:00 at night from across the street. I eventually got bored and went home to bed, and when I woke up I found out in the news that Robert had been killed as a result of that fight. It was a really strange feeling, watching them fight was like watching a movie; it scares you but you know it isn’t real. I started going home earlier after that.

{Memory 2: Mum} last April, Mum called. I usually return her calls because she’s a very nice woman, despite her emotional instability. I didn’t pick up the phone, but when I finally did I snapped at her because of how much she was calling, I apologised right after, but I didn’t really forgive myself. Mum and dad got divorced when I was 13 and she’s never had another boyfriend apart from that guy who tried to steal from her back in ‘99. Because of this, when I moved away, she always calls so that she can feel a little less lonely. She pretends that I’m not doing well on my own so that she can lie about being dependent on her own son, and I think she’s started to believe it. She says that she worries about me, and I’m sure she does, but I know that isn’t why she calls.

{Memory 3: Geneva} Back in 1994, when I was about 12, I met this girl named Geneva. She was kind of ok, but also she wasn’t because she was an absolute bitch. She was greedy and manipulative, and she couldn’t bear the thought of not getting what she wanted. For reference, once she had a fight with her friend (I don’t know what the fight was even about) and I tried to help by going back and forth between them talking about the situation and trying to help. When I tried to talk to her, I kept cycling through the same, valid points and she kept interrupting and whining about one, invalid point. Later that year, she told me that she liked me and we dated for a total of 1 and 1/2 days. When I decided to break up with her she said I was “mean”. That insufferable, idiotic, motherf*cker was my proof that I really wasn’t into women. I was friends with her all through high school, because things weren’t great at home for her and her friends were horrible and I was worried that if I left her then she would slip into a depressive episode. I felt totally trapped in the friendship because I didn’t want her to be sad. She was a dick. But she also put me off women permanently so I still hope that she isn’t depressed.

20th January 2006

After the other day I decided to stop counting the little people at the bus stop. It gave me a sense of superiority the other day so I made the decision to stop entirely. Today I met a boy at the stop; my age, quite a bit taller than me, blue eyes and dark brown undercut. We talked for a while and it was the first conversation I’ve had in weeks, other than the lady at the shop who asked me why I had so much acne. I hope that she dies in a car crash. I don’t want the boy I saw today to die, he was nice, very pretty. I never got his name but we talked for 10 minutes about the little people and why I like to watch them so much. He asked me why I call them “little”. I told him that no matter how compassionate and empathetic humans are, they will always see themselves as better than others, it’s nature. Everyone thinks that others are ‘smaller’ than them, I’m just more honest about it. He isn’t little though, he’s like me.

4th February 2006

Sorry I haven’t written in a while, I needed to get a job so I could pay rent. I’ve started talking to the landlady (Mallory) a lot more and I found out that she really is a sugar momma and that she’s and artist. She let me to take photos of her paintings so I could put them here. I really like them. I told her that she had a lot of good ideas and philosophies.

I’ve also started a small archive of interesting things she’s said. She says a lot of strange things, about her art and music festivals, and about her general philosophies for life. Here are some I wrote down recently:

“If you can live without something, make it your priority. Death comes for all of us, but not everyone can die knowing that they spent hundreds on a toaster oven”

“If they aren’t f*cking, feeding, or financing you then you don’t need them”

“Some people say I’m cocky and arrogant. For some reason they expect me to disagree with that statement”

I aspire to be Mallory. She doesn’t think that anything is real, which means that she lives in the moment. She’s in her 50s and she’s more youthful than most of the people my age I know. She’s going to go Glastonbury in the summer and I think I might come with her, see what her life is like. I asked her if I should buy a ticket and she told me that if I’m not sure about something, then I should do it. She’s like me and the boy at the bus stop; she isn’t little. She might be even bigger than me.

9th February 2006

I did something new today, I actually got on a bus. I didn’t know where it was going which was exciting. I ended up at the station. I sat at the station with my headphones on and I was planning on watching the little people, but I ended up just sitting in the sun watching the trains going by. I listened to a few songs and I really enjoyed it, but then the strangest thing happened. I was sat with my coat off for the first time in ages, in the sun and I was listening to ‘your light’ by the big moon when all of a sudden I started crying. I haven’t cried like that in years but I just sat there sobbing for the whole duration of the song. It was surreal. Mallory says that it means something and that if I feel so many things about a 2 minute event then it must be significant in some way. I told her that I didn’t know the significance of it yet. She told me to go on a walk, try and see if the location held the significance of the event. I’ll do that soon.

On another note, i saw a freight train today. At the station. It was painted a lovely shade of blue.

11th February 2006

I saw the boy again today. He said hi to me. It was really strange, because at first it made me happy but later I just felt sad, that I got so attached to some guy whose name I can’t even remember. It made me think about how much I need change, and for how long I’ve needed it. I just got home and I feel weird about everything. I got so attached to this guy when I don’t even know his name. On the bright side, I found an album I can listen to when I’m sad, 12 nudes by Ezra Furman. My favourite song from that album is ‘my teeth hurt’ and I noticed another good lyric: ‘The ache inside reminds my mind my body’s really there’. I think that this applies to my life right now; emotions hurt a lot, but if you don’t feel them then you’ll start to wonder if you’re body’s really there. Pain is the gateway to reality, if such a thing exists. I don’t think it does, but it’s an interesting thing to think about... I didn’t do much today, I just cried listening to 12 nudes and ate a whole box of pastries. I did a lot of thinking while I cried, I realised that I don’t need a walk, I need to leave. I told this to Mallory and she didn’t say anything, she just smiled.

12th February 2006

It is my birthday today. I asked Mallory what I should do to celebrate and she told me that I should be impulsive. Apparently that’s what she does on special occasions. I sat in my apartment for a while and thought about it, but I couldn’t think of anything, my mind started drifting and after 10 minutes I gave up and went to sit on the roof of the apartment building because it was warm. I put on my headphones and wrote down everything that I saw. A woman, a child, a brightly coloured car, a man, the boy. Then I knew what I wanted to do. I was going to leave.

So I left. I put my stuff in a suitcase, dropped a note on Mallory’s door with my number and bought a couple of discount meals at the shop. I went to the bus stop with my things and waited for the bus to the train station. When I sat down on the bus, the pregnant lady sat next to me... she looked happier. I got off at the station and the pregnant lady asked me where I was going, I told her that I honestly didn’t know and she asked if she could come with me. We waited together on the railway station bench for a little longer than we did at the bus stop. I told her that I was going to jump on a freight train. So we did just that.

I am currently writing this on the open section of the freight train, in the middle of a field. I can see and smell the ocean from here, just on the horizon. Earlier the pregnant lady said something really interesting. She told me that after she gave away her child and divorced her husband she felt the same emotion that she feels now. Sad, but in a beautiful way, the kind of sadness that you get addicted to, the type that makes you feel like you have nothing left to lose. I’m not sure where we are, or where we are going, but I like this, and I think that we’re going to have a good time. She just told me her name is Alice. Alice made me realise something really significant. I centred my whole life for the past 6 years around watching the little people, but I never realised that I am one of the little people.

My name is Nathan, and I am one of the little people.

#writing #Write #writer #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writeblr #dark surreal #new writerblr #Writing #write #Writer #Lgbt #lgbt+#queer writers #queer stories

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wolfpawn · 4 years

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I Hate You, I Love You. Chapter 151

Chapter Summary - Danielle has a day that literally just keeps going bad to worse and it all culminates with Tom telling her something.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long. This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1 @black-ninja-blade

Tom poured the water into the kettle and turned around again. “And what dates are they?”

“The seventh of September,” Luke responded, looking at the diary in front of him. “Does that work for you?” Tom nodded. “And Danielle?” Tom winced and cursed. “No?”

“It's two days before her Ironman.” He thought for a moment. “Can I get back in time?”

“I guess?” Luke looked at the dates, making note of her sports events in case it became more relevant in the future. “Didn't you say she has a few more beforehand?”

“Yes, sort of warm-ups,” Tom explained. “I can't miss that one though.”

“You'll need to talk to her.” Luke acknowledged. “Speaking of her, where is she?”

“At Emma's. She is doing a few things for her today.”

“Such as?”

“Cleaning, laundry, cooking. Letting my sister get a shower unmolested by Lucy.”

“So she is okay with babies?”

“She was a medic.” Tom chuckled. “No, she loves children.”

“Children and small babies are different though.”

“Danielle is great with them, she's one of those people that can interact well with children.” He smiled. “She's the same with Ben and Sophie's boys.”

“So I take it if you ever have the sense to ask her and she has the lack of sense to say yes to marrying you, kids would someday be a subject up for discussion?”

Tom gave him a bemused glance knowing that Luke was teasing regarding if he would ask such a question. “If such ever comes to pass, then yes, children are indeed on the cards.”

“Tom Hiddleston, talking about settling down and having kids, did I ever think I would ever see the day” Luke goaded. “And with a no-nonsense woman like Elle. No actually, the only woman that would endure you is Danielle Hughes.”

“Good thing she's the only one I would want anyway.” Tom chuckled. As soon as he ceased speaking, he noticed the dogs looking curiously at the door. He turned and put on the kettle again and took out Danielle's favourite mug.

It was a minute or two before she came into the room, when she saw Luke and Tom, Danielle gave a tired smile. “Gentlemen.”

“Everything alright?” Tom asked worriedly.

“Just one of those days.” Was all she commented.

“How was your training?”

“There was an issue with the pool so it was closed and a spin class used all of the bikes, so that was something of a washout.” Danielle laughed. “That can happen though.” She shrugged.

“And Emma?”

“Emma had to go to the doctor because Lucy has gunk in her eye, so rather than help her with her home, we spent the afternoon in the doctors. And I got a call from work, there was an issue I need to look at that apparently was faxed through, but the fact you have not mentioned it to me would suggest that it hasn't.” She put down the items she had brought home with her. “So what is new here? Luke, how was Venice? I haven't seen you since before you left, you got some colour anyway.”

“Yes, some much-needed sun and wonderful Italian food, of course. It was good, thank you.”

Danielle smiled, pleased to hear he had a pleasant time. When she looked at Tom, she frowned. “What?”

“Are you okay?”

Danielle laughed at him. “Do you ever get that day that it just never stops going wrong, I mean it just is one thing piled on top of another? That is my day and I can get angry and upset and negative which seems to only ensure further negativity, or I can accept that it is what it is and continue on and make what I can of it all and I choose the latter. I assisted Emma, I helped her bring Lucy to the doctor, we also got some shopping and I will cook and clean hers tomorrow instead and if work is really having a shit fest, we have a department for that now so I don't fucking care and I am going to cook my dinner and not stress myself about it.” She explained.

“Good plan.” Luke commended.

“After tea though, I really need a cup right now.” Tom moved, revealing to her that her mug was ready by the steaming kettle. Danielle smiled at him but quickly noticed the manner in which he was not really looking back at her. Then she looked at Luke who also looked slightly awkward. “One moment.” She put a tea bag and hot water into the cup for her tea before turning around, folding her arms and leaning back against the countertop. “Right, what is it?” Both men said nothing. “Look, there is clearly something to be said and with the way today went, I know it will stay true to form and be something negative so just come out with it and tell me now.”

Tom looked at Luke for a moment who had an expression on his face that showed how greatly he felt his earlier comment regarding Danielle as Tom's partner was made apparent by her current actions. Tom decided to just be honest. “I have been asked to attend the Ralph Lauren fiftieth anniversary show in New York in September.”

Danielle processed his words for a moment. “What dates?”

“It's on the seventh.”

“Right.” She sighed.

“I am going to be home in time, I promise.”

“Tom, don't promise something like that, please.” She stated. “I know you will do everything to try to get home.”

“You're annoyed though?”

“See it from my point of view, Tom. Your big premiere and I miss it for a fashion show, how would that feel to you?” She pointed out. “I better check the fax machine, excuse me.”

Tom and Luke said nothing as she left.

“If you are not in Wales on the 9th of September, you may lose her.” Like declared. “If you need to get a private jet, you better be back.”

“Just keep that small block free,” Tom ordered, which caused Luke to nod.

Tom walked upstairs and listened to the sound of paper whirring through the fax machine. He walked to the office room and looked at Danielle. He swallowed as he looked at her.

Her hair was tied up and she wore an open cardigan and comfortable tracksuit pants. If the papers saw her, they would ridicule her immediately, but he liked seeing her like this, this was Elle, who only cared about getting work done and being comfy doing it, not Danielle, who worked tediously and had to uphold a certain professionalism. She was wearing her glasses and chewing on one of the small snack meals her dietitian had planned for her. When she looked up, she noticed him there and waited for him to speak.

“How much in the dog house am I?”

“At present, you're on a rehoming advert for Dog's Trust after being surrendered to them.” She stated, picking up the papers and putting them in a file.

Tom walked into the room. “I will be there, Elle, I promise.”

“I know that. You have thirty-six hours, even with delays I know you would make it. It doesn't make it any less of a slap in the face though, does it?” She pointed out.

Tom was going to argue that they had cut it close on a few events before but stopped himself and reminded himself that she was being honest and communicating with him and that her opinions and feelings on the matter were valid too. “No, it doesn't. I am sorry. I am going to cancel.”

“You can't, you have a contract with them and you did sign in that you would do a few of these. I don't blame you, you know, I blame whatever power in the universe that has caused this day to occur.”

“So you're not sending me to Dog's Trust?”

“Tempting, but no.”

“Is the idea of getting a new boyfriend that daunting?” He joked.

“Oh if this goes belly up, I am joining the fucking nuns or something, I genuinely couldn't go again, it's exhausting.” She laughed.

Tom chuckled, walked over and pulled her against him. “I'm sorry you had a bad day.”

“We all get them.”

“How is Lucy, I forgot to ask. Is her eye sore?”

“Probably just irritated more than anything but she seems to just be herself. She is good, she seems to have a strict routine. I never met a baby to stick so rigidly to a natural schedule. Two weeks she has been like it every day. It's not perfect or easy, but it's consistent so they can plan around it.” She smiled. The machine continued to whir next to her as more paper began to come through. “Dear Jesus, this will take half a forest.” She growled.

“What happened?”

“Some bollox to do with apparently falsified paperwork by one of the guys. I know his work, he's not someone to do that, I am getting a copy to see what happened, the internal affairs department is checking over it, but I want to see if there is something dodgy in my office, but I really doubt it.” She explained.

“You really are having an odd day.” Tom acknowledged. “What about your training, you didn't get much if it done?”

“I will have to check this then go for a cycle. Tomorrow is supposed to be an easy say so I am going for a five k then.” She looked at Tom who looked around at her. “Care to join me?”

“Would you mind?”

“Not at all.” She beamed. “We should get you cycling too.”

“I would look like the crazy frog.” Danielle erupted in laughter at the image. “I'm sorry, Elle.”

“Don’t, we can't help some of your work stuff, the same with mine. We will sometimes miss things. I mean, I have not seen Nacelle in six weeks because of conflicting work schedules.”

“When is she around again?”

“In a fortnight.”

“While you're in LA?”

“Yep.”

“That's a pain.”

“And most of the summer I am going to be by the sea and she will be home. But we talk most days so that's something.”

“Poor Becky.”

“They are used to it at this stage, they have always juggled it.” She smiled.

“Will that be us?”

“Not as drastically, I think, but we have those times too. I fear your next major movie. Up to three months or more without my handsome, kind and loving Tom.”

“Yours?”

“Mine.” She reiterated with a cheeky smile, leaning up and kissing him.

#i hate you i love you #chapter 151 #wolfpawn #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic

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soveryanon · 4 years

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Reviewing time for MAG162!

- I was feeling The Lack Of Tim (And Sasha) in season 4, the lack of mourning and/or plain… things making me feel that these characters had been in the series before? And I am spoiled rotten by this season so far <3

More duos, more… dead people. MAG161 had the birthday party, which, at least, featured Elias (who is still (?) sadly around somewhere, alive and kicking) and Jon&Martin, but overall, so many dead people: Tim&Sasha amongst the group of MAG161 and starring for themselves in MAG162, Gertrude&Leitner in MAG161, Gertrude&Gerry in MAG162. Gertrude was the only character to die-die before the start of the show, Gerry being an intermediary case – we’ve lost so many people? Sasha, Leitner, Gerry-as-the-memory-in-the-book, Tim… I don’t know if we’ll get many more tapes with glimpses from the past, under-Jon’s-radar moments, but I really appreciated what we got to begin the season with? It’s indeed anchoring, a reminder of what has been lost, what led to this?

(Jon mentioned “a few of them” tapes in MAG161, so there could be more, or no, and I’d be fine with it! But if more: Agnes? Gertrude&og!Elias? Gertrude&James Wright? Gertrude&Elias just after Jonah had taken over his body, since Gertrude mentioned this is when she understood what was up? Gertrude&Adelard, if they’ve found the right VA since the Q&A? Gertrude&Jan Kilbride about The Vast and The Buried, since she had apparently interrupted his written statement? Gertrude&Emma? Gertrude&Jon, since we know that Jon had met her? Elias&Jon, when Jon was hired at the Institute or offered the Head Archivist position? Elias&Martin for roughly the same? Sasha&Melanie’s discussion about haunted pubs? Melanie&Tim, since Elias had mentioned that they had been talking in season 3?)

- It… was only the second time we were hearing Gerry, but it was the first time we were hearing him caught on tape while he was… still alive. There was no reverse-echo to his sppech. He was there! The real Gerry when he was alive… ;_;

We more or less know when Gertrude&Gerry’s scene happened given that their collaboration was short-lived (ha): Mary gave Gertrude Eric’s page on the 3rd of July 2008 (MAG062); Gertrude used the page on the 21st of July 2008 (MAG154), promising that she would look after Gerry… which she proceeded to not do. Mary bound herself to the book in late September 2008 (MAG004), then proceeded to haunt Gerry for five years before Gertrude made contact and freed him from Mary (MAG111), marking the beginning of their collaboration. Gerry was still alive by the 9th of October 2014 (MAG137), but would die soon after during their trip in America.

(MAG062) GERTRUDE: And do you have any proof of this? Your… “magic book”. MARY: Yeah. [PAPER RUSTLING] You can keep this page. I made sure it was in English. GERTRUDE: Go– Who… who is it? MARY: A surprise, dear. Just make sure you’re alone when you read it.

(MAG154) ERIC: Fine! I… I want two things. GERTRUDE: I’m listening. ERIC: I want you to find my son. If Mary is… if she’s gone, or worse… I want you to make sure he’s alright. GERTRUDE: [HUFF] I’m not exactly a mother figure. ERIC: You could hardly do worse than her. GERTRUDE: Fine. But I don’t know what growing up with Mary has done to him. If he’s… gone rotten, I can’t promise anything. ERIC: I understand. GERTRUDE: I suppose he might be useful. ERIC: Oh, sentimental as ever.

(MAG004, Dominic Swain) “Typing in their names I don’t know what sort of thing it was that I expected to find, but it certainly wasn’t a news article from 2008 about Mary Keay’s murder. Police had broken in late September […].”

(MAG111) GERRY: For the next five years she haunted my life. I did what she asked, but whenever her form faded for a few days, I would take what little revenge I could: I burned books, I covered leads. I occasionally fled to somewhere I thought it’d be hard for her to follow. In the end it was Gertrude who saved me. She came to me when I was desperate, nowhere to go, and she offered to help. […] I think you know the rest. I joined Gertrude’s work for a few years. Didn’t realise how ill I was until it finally caught up with me. Then I died.

(MAG137) GERTRUDE: We still have Dekker’s back-up plan, of course, but… it’s very risky. To be sure, I–I think the detonation would need to happen from within The Unknowing, while it was going on. Gerard may have a connection to The Eye, but I’m not convinced it will be enough. And I will admit I’ve grown… fond of the boy. I wonder, if I told him about Eric – whether he’d follow in his father’s footsteps. Still, that’s not like it kept Eric safe in The End.

Which means this scene happened in 2013–2014.

It’s so weird to think that… since he had been working at the Institute since at least 2012 (maybe 2011), Jon was inside of the building around the time of Gertrude&Gerry’s discussion? He was so close to that world, so close to Gerry?

(Sadly:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: Eh! [INHALE] You can probably burn it in the back courtyard, if you’re careful. GERRY: Yeah, will do! GERTRUDE: And for goodness’s sake, make sure no one sees you. The last thing we need is a letter to Elias about book-burnings. GERRY: Look, if you have somewhere better to burn these books, then–

… no meet-cute possible in the courtyard while Gerry was burning a book and Jon was there on a smoke break, since Jon had stopped smoking roughly at the time his grandmother died and he joined the Institute. Unless Jon bullshitted about that and kept telling himself and everyone that he had been quit for those five years, while he was actually still smoking a pack or two every week.

But gosh, Jon was probably sneaking his cigarettes in that same courtyard during season 2? It’s probably where he went while Leitner was being pipe-murdered? And Gertrude’s comment… implies that the Institute has neighbours, who could complain about shady things to Elias, I’m love it. They probably saw Jon at his worst in the same courtyard Gerry was regularly burning stuff. Am Emotions.)

- I think just hearing Gerry is doomed to make you feel hopeful about things, because, YES, he died, no, he wasn’t perfect, but he was also one of the most positive characters we encountered in the series, saving a few random people in early statements or begrudgingly giving them tips? So hearing him alive and inquiring and still kicking is Pure Serotonin.

He was hilarious in MAG111 (“I’m a BOOK.” “Dead serious.”), I’m having Feelings again with:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: They might even stop death entirely, deny us the one last escape; keeping us… alive and afraid – forever. [SILENCE] GERRY: [DEFLATING SIGH] … And taxes? GERTRUDE: Eh! Taxes, I imagine, will continue.

Press F to pay respect to Elias Bouchard, who might still have to pay taxes during the apocalypse.

- I’m crying a bit about Gertrude&Gerry’s exchange because:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: Wait. Surely, you didn’t bring it here?! GERRY: Well, yeah – I, uh… GERTRUDE: Gerard! We’ve talked about this. Bringing unvetted artefacts or books into the Archive is incredibly dangerous…! GERRY: It’s locked away! GERTRUDE: And I’m sure the lock is very sturdy. But that doesn’t stop it being an unnecessary risk. GERRY: … Yeah, I’m sorry… GERTRUDE: This is exactly the sort of thing that will get you killed. GERRY: I said I was sorry! [SILENCE] GERTRUDE: [SIGH] Then, we’ll say no more about it. [FLIPPING OF PAPERS] I don’t enjoy being hard on you, but I really would rather you stayed broadly intact.

1°) … Gerry shrinking when scolded is a remnant of Mary, uh……………………

2°) Yeaaaaah, Gertrude had mentioned not being a “mother figure” to Eric (MAG154: “I’m not exactly a mother figure.” “You could hardly do worse than her.”)… And Gertrude isn’t, indeed, but it was nearly impossible for Gerry to not feel that she was a bit like Mary, uh? Gerry had acknowledged it to Jon:

(MAG111) ARCHIVIST: Kind of sounds like you didn’t… trust her. GERRY: Yeah, I didn’t. I wanted to, I really did, but it was always the work. Sometimes she just reminded me of my mum. … Did you ever meet her, my mum?

3°) Gerry’s casual mix of respect and irreverence to Gertrude was… reminiscent of Eric’s snark towards her ;_; Gosh, Gerry!!! You took after your dad…

(MAG154) GERTRUDE: Fine. But I don’t know what growing up with Mary has done to him. If he’s… gone rotten, I can’t promise anything. ERIC: I understand. GERTRUDE: I suppose he might be useful. ERIC: Oh, sentimental as ever.

(MAG162) GERRY: I’m touched! You’re going soft in your old age. GERTRUDE: Hm! You are, occasionally, useful. Despite your foolishness. GERRY: Flatterer.

Down to the little bit of reminding Gertrude of her age…

(MAG154) GERTRUDE: Well, it’s… good to see you, I suppose. ERIC: You too. … You got old. GERTRUDE: Better than being dead. ERIC: [HUFF] Fair enough.

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: I rather hope I would have found them by now. I like to think I’m not a complete incompetent. GERRY: Until dementia hits~ GERTRUDE: Given my choice to confide in you, I rather suspect it already has. [FLIPPING OF PAPER] Go burn your book.

I love that small domesticity/casualness? Gertrude had admitted that she had grown “rather fond” of “Gerard” in MAG137 (and she called him “Gerard” still in MAG162: so no, Gerry never regarded her as a friend like he did with Jon), and we could feel it? She was firm and scolding, yet allowing them to talk, explaining how she was proceeding to him, what she thought would happen with a successful apocalypse, warning him against tying himself to the Institute – and yet, not being entirely honest with him, hiding the tunnels&Leitner from him, and… not even telling him about Eric’s page (Gerry had mentioned in MAG111 that he had hoped to find his father’s page in the book, but that there wasn’t any… so he didn’t know that there used to be one but that it had been given to Gertrude, uh?).

It also breaks me a bit how… youthful Gerry sounded? Bantering and impertinent, bold and daring (taking a look into Gertrude’s stuff behind her back!), a bit laid-back, a bit insecure (“What happens if we fail?”), and asking Gertrude for answers that he couldn’t provide, couldn’t fathom, as if she had the infinite knowledge… By this time, Gerry was almost or around 30, I think? And yet he still sounds like an adolescent, and it makes so much sense given how he grew up…

4°) The awkward offer of burning more stuff for Gertrude…

(MAG162) GERRY: You, uh… need anything else burning? GERTRUDE: No, no…! Not right now. [INHALE] I think I’m alright, thank you for the offer.

You polite kid…

5°) I wonder if:

(MAG162) GERRY: What happens if we fail? [FLIPPING OF PAPER] [WOOD CREAKS] GERTRUDE: In… what sense? GERRY: If we miss a ritual, you know. If one of them works. GERTRUDE: Been losing sleep, have you? GERRY: Mh, something like that.

The possible lack of sleep/tiredness/concerns might have been partially linked to Gerry’s cancer developing without him noticing – but his body beginning to let him down a bit…

- I’m laughing hard that the possibility of Gerry getting tied to the Institute was raised:

(MAG162) GERRY: So, do I get to hear them? GERTRUDE: Perhaps. If you live long enough. But somehow I doubt Elias would look favourably on your application. And if I’m being quite honest… GERRY: Yeah – I know, I know. A–and I don’t want your job. GERTRUDE: Believe me, the perks aren’t worth the shackles.

Since… oh boy, Elias really didn’t like this effing family, uh.

(MAG062) GERTRUDE: Why are you here? MARY: To make my statement, of course. I know the Institute and me haven’t always seen eye to eye, as it were, but I thought it was the least I could do. […] Well, they don’t understand up there. They don’t know what this place is. You do, though, don’t you? We’re on the same side, really, even if Elias disagrees. GERTRUDE: If you say so.

(MAG158) ELIAS: And how exactly were you planning on achieving that while you’re still bound to the… ha. Oh, I see. Very clever. [CHUCKLE] I thought Eric was the only one to figure that little morsel out.

Gerry was the son of Friggin’ Mary Keay, and of Eric-The-One-That-Got-Away. No wonder that Elias would not “look favourably” on his application.

… And it’s getting even more hysterical when remembering that Gerry is descended from the VON CLOSEN, ALBRECHT’S FAMILY. ALBRECHT WHOM JONAH HAD SCREWED OVER.

(With the suspicious things about the genealogy: Mary didn’t descend from Albrecht, but from Wilhelm, Albrecht’s nephew… officially. Because there is still the matter that Carla&Albrecht couldn’t have any children in 1816 (MAG023), but Albrecht had two sons by 1831 (MAG127), of age to go to boarding school. Which means they were roughly conceived after MAG023’s events, when Jonah visited to get the books. While Carla hadn’t been able to have any children until then. What I mean is, there is still a little small possibility that Albrecht’s children were adopted by Wilhelm’s branch after his death, and that Gerry is a direct descendant of Albrecht…………… or of Jonah. Because the “can’t have children with my wife, but she got pregnant around the time you visited” is incredibly suspicious. And because it makes me laugh and laugh and laugh to think that Gerry could be Jonah’s biological descendant, the AWKWARDNESS.)

- What Leitner was it about, and what powers?

(MAG162) GERRY: Yeah, yeah. [FLIPPING OF PAPERS] … So, what’s the verdict? GERTRUDE: Hm? GERRY: On The Travels! GERTRUDE: Oh. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] Burn it, I think. You said Mr Hampton was dead? GERRY: Yup! And not peacefully. GERTRUDE: But you hadn’t seen its powers? GERRY: Not directly. GERTRUDE: Well… Given the themes of the original, I doubt it has anything that would be worth the danger.

Gulliver’s? Marco Polo’s? Spiral, Lonely, Vast things?

- Given that Gertrude raised the danger of bringing items to the Archives:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: Gerard! We’ve talked about this. Bringing unvetted artefacts or books into the Archive is incredibly dangerous…! GERRY: It’s locked away! GERTRUDE: And I’m sure the lock is very sturdy. But that doesn’t stop it being an unnecessary risk.

I still wonder about how they proceed in Artefact Storage? Sasha said it was bad, we know that the original Elias started there, the calliope was stored there (until it was stolen), Jon gave them the Coffin during season 4… what means of protection do they use?

(Accidents still happen, if Salesa’s letter from MAG115 is any indication, but it’s impressive that the Institute is still standing while containing so many dangerous things?)

- Gotta love how Gertrude’s arson streak has been put to the foreground this season:

(MAG161) GERTRUDE: Paper burns well. [GURGLING LIQUID] Petrol burns… better. LEITNER: Aha! I always forget about your pyromaniac streak. GERTRUDE: Mm. Remind me to tell you about Agnes, sometime…!

(MAG162) GERRY: And when in doubt… GERTRUDE: Well, quite. [FLIPPING OF PAPER] GERRY: Can I use your wastepaper bin? […] GERTRUDE: You can probably burn it in the back courtyard, if you’re careful. GERRY: Yeah, will do! GERTRUDE: And for goodness’s sake, make sure no one sees you. The last thing we need is a letter to Elias about book-burnings. […] GERRY: You, uh… need anything else burning?

And Gerry didn’t know what she had in store for The Stranger (the plastic explosive) but had described how she had looked while thinking about it and:

(MAG111) ARCHIVIST: But you don’t know what it is? GERRY: No. When I asked her she said she’d show me when we got back to London. Mind you, she had this weird look in her eyes, like it was some kind of a joke. ARCHIVIST: I mean… it wasn’t, w–was it? A–A joke. GERRY: I don’t think so. Gertrude didn’t make jokes.

Gerry is the same as Martin when it comes to Just Little Archivist Jokes, uh.

- Regarding how Gerry was planning to burn his book, would it involve the lighter with the Eye that was described in MAG012?

(MAG012, Lesere Saraki) “the younger man had only a Zippo lighter with an eye design on it similar to the one tattooed all over him and an old passport that identified him as Gerard Keay.”

We still don’t know what happened to that one… Plus, Gerry had lost a few items around that time too, and we never learned if they had been destroyed in his fight against Diego Molina nor what they were supposed to do:

(MAG012, Lesere Saraki) “After a few seconds of awkward silence, Gerard spoke. He asked me if the paramedics had brought any items in with them. Specifically, he was after a small book bound in red leather and a brass pendant he had been wearing. He didn’t say what design had been on the pendant but I guessed it had been an eye. I told him that neither of those things had been brought in with him, and he was quiet for a long time.”

(The book was Diego’s, we know from Basira. Regarding the pendant, I’m still wondering if it was a gift from Eric, but it was never mentioned again…)

- NO WONDER that Jon starts rewinding the tape to listen again and again to Gertrude saying that she didn’t think there was a way to revert an apocalypse…

(MAG162) GERRY: Could it be undone? [SILENCE] [WOOD CREAKS] GERTRUDE: [SIGH] … No. I don’t think so. Once an entity… fully manifested, I doubt it would be keen to relinquish its grip on realit– [CLICK.] [APOCALYPSE SOUNDSCAPING] [FIREPLACE CRACKLING IN THE BACKGROUND] [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] [TAPE IS REWOUND] [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: … No. I don’t think so. Once an– [CLICK.] [APOCALYPSE SOUNDSCAPING] [FIREPLACE CRACKLING IN THE BACKGROUND] [TAPE IS REWOUND] [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: No. I don’t think so. [CLICK.] [APOCALYPSE SOUNDSCAPING] [FIREPLACE CRACKLING IN THE BACKGROUND] [TAPE IS REWOUND] [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: I don’t think so. [CLICK.] [APOCALYPSE SOUNDSCAPING] [FIREPLACE CRACKLING IN THE BACKGROUND] [LONG WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: Once an entity… fully manifested, I doubt it would be keen to relinquish its grip on reality. And as for those unlucky enough to survive its rule… I don’t think they would be in a state to do anything about it.

[…] MARTIN: Do you think it’ll do anything? Confronting Elias? ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] I… [SIGH] Maybe? MARTIN: No, I’m serious. Do we… [PAUSE IN THE PACKING SOUNDS] Is there a chance that we can undo this? ARCHIVIST: [LONG INHALE] Gertrude didn’t think so. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] MARTIN: … Right. ARCHIVIST: [SOFT] But she’s dead. [FIRMER] Let’s find out for ourselves.

… Since she had just lied through her teeth to Gerry about the tunnels.

(MAG162) GERRY: Look, if you have somewhere better to burn these books, then– GERTRUDE: Of course, Gerard…! I just happened not to mention the network of sinister tunnels that snake beneath the Archive, where I keep all my darkest secrets…! GERRY: I mean, you joke, but there could be. It’s that kind of place! GERTRUDE: I rather hope I would have found them by now. I like to think I’m not a complete incompetent. GERRY: Until dementia hits~ GERTRUDE: Given my choice to confide in you, I rather suspect it already has.

The scene happened in 2013-2014. However, she was already collaborating with Leitner (who had been using the tunnels following the destruction of his library) since around 2011, and we know that she did burn books down there at some point:

(MAG080) ARCHIVIST: And why was Gertrude helping you? LEITNER: Aside from my knowledge about the books? I think she was lonely. I didn’t meet her until about six years ago, after she’d lost the last of her own assistants. She would mention them sometimes. I believe she missed having someone to talk to on occasion.

(MAG004, Dominic Swain) “The only thing I found that looked even remotely relevant was a listing on eBay from 2007. The auction was titled “Key of Solomon 1863 owned by MacGregor Mathers and Jurgen Leitner” and had been won for just over £1200 by a deactivated user – grbookworm1818.”

(MAG080) ARCHIVIST: Like The Key of Solomon? LEITNER: That one was a mistake. I thought that, in the tunnels, there might be the stability to examine it properly, learn something of the forces arrayed against us. But it went wrong. We had to destroy it. I should have known, really. It was one of the few volumes that contained elements of several different powers.

(MAG070) ARCHIVIST: But, shortly after I started exploring the second level, I found something. It was a room, empty except for three wooden chairs. It looked like there had previously been more, but they had been smashed. Based on the scorch marks in the corner, I think I know what they were used for. The ashes were old, impossible to tell what they might have been before they were burned, except for the small scraps of old paper dotted around the floor. I think someone tore up a book and then burned it. There was only one scrap large enough to decipher anything legible: “They have for adversaries the Satariel, or concealers, the Demons of absurdity, of intellectual inertia, and of Mystery.” That answers the question of what happened to the copy of The Key of Solomon that Gertrude bought. But if she only bought it to destroy it, why down there? There seemed no especial significance to the room, except that it contained some old wooden furniture.

(We don’t know if she had burned books down there before Gerry’s suggestion… but eh, it’s Gertrude, she just LIED TO HIS FACE about the tunnels under the Institute, it was probably a habit already.)

It makes sense for Gerry to think tunnels sound reasonable, since he had experience with them (he knew things about Smirke, he had been there during the rediscovery of the tunnels under Pall Mall in MAG035); it makes sense for Gertrude to prevent Leitner and Gerry from interacting, since Gerry had a Grudge (and beat him up without being convinced that it was him)… I’m just laughing so hard again that GERTRUDE did Gertrude things and just lied so blatantly and fiercely.

It sounds, after the rewinding, like Jon thinks that she was being truthful about her opinions on the impossibility of reversing the apocalypse, given what he told Martin afterwards – was he trying to use his powers to detect a lie? Personally, I’m not convinced that Gertrude thought that it couldn’t be undone, or that she didn’t have any idea for a back-up plan if necessary, since… anyway, she was shown lying. And even Elias seemed to think that she might have an idea against The Dark:

(MAG160, Jonah Magnus) “When I saw that she was making no preparations whatsoever to stop it, I realised she was putting into practice a theory – and one she couldn’t afford to be wrong. She was going to wait, and see if the unopposed ritual succeeded, or if it collapsed under its own strain, as mine had all those years ago. Knowing Gertrude, I’m sure she had a backup plan if she had miscalculated; but she had not. The ritual failed.”

(MAG161) GERTRUDE: If my guess is right, the Church’s ritual should be collapsing at any time now, so… immediately. LEITNER: And if you’re wrong? GERTRUDE: Then a bit of gas will be the least of our worries.

So they could still find something left shortly before her death, about the seed of an idea. Maybe not! I’d be fully satisfied if the tonality of the end of MAG162 is to be taken this way: that no, Gertrude didn’t think there was a way, but that Jon&Martin are leaving her shadow and pushing further, and will find something, since they are still alive and can still discover and invent things. It might not be what they expect, it might make things worse; it will still be them trying and doing something that Gertrude couldn’t have done.

- … Gertrude made excellent guesses as to how the apocalypse would probably unravel, since it’s… what Jon&Martin seem to be experiencing:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: … If we are lucky, then that failure will also mean our deaths. GERRY: You don’t think they can reach us after death? GERTRUDE: I suppose that depends on your religious beliefs. [WOOD CREAKS] Personally, I suspect death puts us beyond their power; either because we find ourselves in… some kind of afterlife, or because we simply… “cease to be”. GERRY: … Yeah, I guess. GERTRUDE: And I am certain that either scenario is preferable to lingering in a world they control. [INHALE] They’re… already able to circumvent physics, and suspend natural laws. If one were to – genuinely – press through, I suspect they would rewrite them wholesale; most likely making them… utterly incomprehensible to any survivors. They, they might still need us human enough to be afraid, but beyond that… Let’s just surmise that petty rules like space or time would be unlikely to factor into the proceedings. They might even stop death entirely, deny us the one last escape; keeping us… alive and afraid – forever. […] Once an entity… fully manifested, I doubt it would be keen to relinquish its grip on reality. And as for those unlucky enough to survive its rule… I don’t think they would be in a state to do anything about it.

1°) Time and space have indeed been affected (the statement number cases are still a succession of #, the cabin stopped being neutral, Martin’s impression of Jon about the maps highlighted that space isn’t objective anymore either); humans are indeed kept alive without needing to eat, people outside seem to not be dying:

(Season 5 trailer) MARTIN: How are you feeling today? ARCHIVIST: [LONG INHALE] Define… “today”. [CREAKING SOUND] MARTIN: “How are you feeling in general”, then? ARCHIVIST: … Unchanged. [PAUSE] I don’t know if it’ll ever change again…! [MIRTHLESS CHUCKLE]

(MAG161) MARTIN: You should get some sleep. [CREAKING SOUND] ARCHIVIST: I… [SIGH] can’t. I–I–I can’t, I–I don’t think I do anymore… “Sleep”. [EXHALE] How long’s it been, now? MARTIN: I don’t know. It’s not like there are days to count anymore. All the clocks have stopped, and… [DISTANT HOWL] ARCHIVIST: Well, I haven’t yet. I get… tired, but it doesn’t feel the same. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Probably for the best. Sleep doesn’t look… pleasant. MARTIN: Nnno, it’s… it’s not. […] What about food? ARCHIVIST: What about it? When’s the last time you thought to eat, o–or even felt hungry? MARTIN: [FAINT] What…? Wha… Uh… I don’t know. ARCHIVIST: No. Whatever is sustaining us now doesn’t need us to eat. MARTIN: That… that can’t be possible– ARCHIVIST: It’s a new world, Martin, the natural laws are whatever they want them to be. And I suspect they don’t much care to keep humanity fed and watered.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “The land outside is warped and twisted by the touch of those things that feed on your suffering, and behind those rough wooden planks, [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] it seems they cannot reach you. […] If you had need to eat, no doubt there would be food; if you had need to sleep, no doubt the beds would be welcoming. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] But you have need of neither […] Heavy drops fall, ice-cold and laced with salt; tears of voyeuristic delight from The Eyes that see and drink in all – it sinks into the dry cracked ground, and from the mud faces struggle to push themselves free and breathe. They cannot breach the surface, as the slick soil flows down their throats. […] Throw another log on the fire and curl up close. There are always more logs for the fire here.” […] MARTIN: And, I found some rope in the attic, and I packed that with the maps. ARCHIVIST: [CHUCKLING] Uh, Martin, I… MARTIN: No, no; I, I know what you’re going to say. [RUMMAGING] “What good are maps when the very Earth has…” and blah blah blah… ARCHIVIST: W– Uh, yes– MARTIN: But I’ve, I’ve packed them anyway because you never know. ARCHIVIST: Martin, I… MARTIN: I, I actually, eh! I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink– ARCHIVIST: [FOND CHUCKLE] MARTIN: I–I realise, we don’t need to eat or – whatever, but, you know, that doesn’t mean that we won’t… ARCHIVIST: Yes – yes, yes…! It’s… alright. Alright.

The only thing Gertrude doesn’t seem to have factored in is about the Archivist themselves (“making [the law of physics]… utterly incomprehensible to any survivors. […] as for those unlucky enough to survive its rule… I don’t think they would be in a state to do anything about it.”): Jon was able to see through the thing-that-wasn’t-tea’s deceit in the trailer, and through the cabin’s in this episode – deconstructing the way the cabin was functioning… to free himself from its influence. That was a very Beholding thing, matching Jane Prentiss’s rant about The Eye (MAG032: “I see now why the hive hates you. You can see it and log it and note its every detail but you can never understand it. You rob it of its fear even though your weak words have no right to do so.”). There is at least one person who has the potential “to do [something] about it”, and probably more (what about Georgie? What about plain mundane non-main characters?).

- OUFFTTT, once again, that Gertrude was very conscious that the Powers subject people to a fate worse than death… and would still make the choice of binding Gerry to the book, even though she also knew from Eric that it was an awful state of (not-)being.

(MAG154) GERTRUDE: … What’s it like? Being… bound to the book. ERIC: I don’t know how to describe it…! Never was great with words. Bad. It feels… bad. All the time. I know that I’m not really “Eric”, I’m just a… memory someone wrote down. It hurts, most of the time. I don’t like it.

(MAG111) GERRY: It hurts. Being like this. And it’s not like any pain you can feel when you’re alive. It’s… it hurts to exist. To be dead and still here.

The big irony that Gerry should have died “naturally”, and was ready to cease to exist… and that Gertrude, of all people, forbade him to do so. Technically, there is still the mystery of why… Gertrude did it and left him behind in America, as Gerry pointed out:

(MAG111) GERRY: I think… I think I finally understand why she brought me back. I just don’t understand why she left me behind.

Was it to leave a trail of breadcrumbs for her successor? Was she fearing that, if she were to die (by Elias’s hand or someone else’s), Elias would get his hands on the page and destroy it if it was kept at the Institute? (And why did Gertrude allow Gerry so close to her while he was covered in eyes? She knew about Jonah’s trick already (Eric knew about it from when they were working together), and Elias knew that Gerry&Gertrude had worked together (as he was keeping MAG102’s statement and gave it to Jon only when Jon revealed that he now “knew” about their collaboration). Gertrude accused Gerry of taking risks, yet she took… so many, with him…)

- With the description of the people buried alive outside of the cabin, and Gerry&Gertrude’s talk about death being denied in the world of fear… that puts The End on the foreground again, too. Does that aspect of the blob of terrors get its fill with the agony of not dying, and with the fear of living without being able to die? Or did it draw the shorter straw in the new world?

- YYYYYYYYAAAYYYY, I was suspecting it but! Finally, confirmation about Gertrude’s use of the tape recorders, when she was and wasn’t using them! Jon had wondered for so long!

(MAG041) ARCHIVIST: Even when the police finally found Gertrude’s body, they took it, chair and all, as well as all the tapes. “Evidence”, they said, and they might be right, though I don’t envy them the task of going through all of them. There must have been hundreds. … No. I suppose in some way I do envy them. They are an insight into my predecessor’s time here; something I desperately want to know more about. Whatever’s on them, it must be important, because… either she chose to hide them down here or… whoever killed her did.

(MAG044) ARCHIVIST: I will admit to some disappointment it doesn’t address any of my more… pressing questions about Gertrude’s tapes. Why did she begin recording them, and why stop? If she’d been doing so right up until her death, she would have likely gotten through much of the archive […].

(MAG087) ARCHIVIST: I had assumed Gertrude had recorded to tape for a while and then stopped, but it seems she was recording them right up until the end. But if they did span decades of working at the Institute, why aren’t there more? And what decided which statements she transferred?

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: [CHUCKLES] Well. You’re not going to find many dark secrets in the stationery cupboard. [DRAWER OR DOOR CLOSES] GERRY: Just the recorded confession of your evil plans, then. [WOOD CREAKS] GERTRUDE: I’d be something of a fool to leave that one in the recorder. GERRY: I’ve never really seen you use it. GERTRUDE: Hm! It’s generally only for those statements I think might be useful to my successor. Or, the occasional interview. GERRY: So, do I get to hear them? GERTRUDE: Perhaps. If you live long enough.

That’s why there were technically so few, and so many of them seemed related to the rituals! It was supposed to be practical, useful information in case she were to die, she was actually much more prepared than Jon had assumed, they were supposed to be heard by her successor! (MAG137: “Anyway. Point is, you can probably discount The Slaughter. It had its chance.”)

- … Squint because, with how Gertrude had lied re:Leitner…

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: [CHUCKLES] Well. You’re not going to find many dark secrets in the stationery cupboard. […] Oh, and… Gerard. GERRY: Hm? [WOOD CREAKING] GERTRUDE: Don’t go rifling through my things in future. It could end… badly, for you.

… It definitely sounds like there was/is something in the stationery cupboard.

- First time we’re hearing Gerry alive, and first time hearing him while discussing with Gertrude… and almost the first time we hear Tim&Sasha together. Technically, they had already been heard together, although for a very brief moment, in MAG039 (when Sasha tackled him to save him), and last episode was the first time we heard them in the same room for more than a few seconds… AND I WOULD HAVE NEVER EXPECTED THEM TO BE HEARD TOGETHER, TALKING TOGETHER, TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER… ;___;

(Sasha/Tim was already one of my fav ships as a “potential” and “I like pain apparently??” since the end of season 1 and the fact that hey! last time Tim had seen Sasha before she got Not!Them’d, it was because she had saved his life! I’m fine!, I’ve been screaming for a week.)

- Context was apparently when Jon had very recently been promoted to Head Archivist, so second half of 2015 (since MAG123’s statement was handed on August 1st 2015 and Jon had mentioned that it was shortly after Gertrude’s disappearance, without any mention of his own tenure, so… he wasn’t in place by then), apparently shortly before MAG001 and his recordings since… Tim was apparently searching for a tape recorder?

(MAG162) [CLICK–] [RUMMAGING SOUNDS] TIM: [SIGH] SASHA: This it? TIM: Oh, thank God! I thought I was seeing things. SASHA: Glad I could help. TIM: I didn’t know he was actually gonna ask me to get it for him, I just… mentioned it ‘cause he was talking about recording. SASHA: Well, I’m sure he’s waiting…! TIM: Hm, he can wait a bit longer.

Which would put the scene in the storage room, given that Jon had already mentioned a few things about his very first tape recorder:

(SPIDERRRRSSSS.) So psssh, Jon, it wasn’t YOU who found it, but Tim, with Sasha’s help!

(And I’m SOBBING??? That Tim had spotted it first??? And had wanted to record Jon’s birthday party with one??? Although he would grow to hate the tape recorders so much by season 3???)

- I’m sobbing over the fact that there can only be ONE qualified Archives Team member per generation.

(MAG154) ERIC: So when I finished my Master’s in Library Science and saw a vacancy at the Magnus Institute, of all places, I jumped at the chance. The chance to pursue my passion and my career at the same time seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up! It was only an “assistant archivist” position, of course, but that was fine. A good entry position, I’d, “I’d soon move on,” I told myself. [HUFF] Yeah…

(MAG162) TIM: If only there had been someone more qualified…! [STAPLING] SASHA: Tim. TIM: Sasha. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: It’s Elias’s decision. […] Mm, Tim… I’ve been in academia for what, ten years now? TIM: Mm. SASHA: I know how this goes! I didn’t get the job. If I kick up a stink, I’ll just get blackballed.

And at the same time, ezusdjezds. Sasha was a Disaster like Jon archiving-wise, uh.

(MAG162) SASHA: Fantastic! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] Good of you to volunteer to help me. TIM: Uh! I, er, didn’t actually… SASHA: Grab a stapler. TIM: [SIGH] … Fine. [STAPLING] What are we doing? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: Jon’s been getting frustrated with all the loose statement sheets around. [STAPLING] I’m going box by box, collating and stapling them. And now? So are you.

Sasha STAPLING UNIQUE, ORIGINAL DOCUMENTS, INTRODUCING A NEW MATTER SUBJECTING THEM TO POTENTIAL RUST, and Jon “Put a Post-It on the tapes or something” were the Same Kind Of People.

- If Sasha has been in academia for ten years, it means she is at the very least 28 at this point (if she’s counting her studies as “academia” — even older if not). Tim had worked for five years after his own diploma, before joining the Institute around 2013, so… not canon-canon, but more tiny bits of proof leaning towards the idea that Old Millenial Jon was actually the Archives’ youngest <3

- I randomly love the little detail that Tim would blame Elias’s choice on sexism, because it does make a lot of sense given what he knew, because to his eyes (and Sasha’s), Elias had chosen an underqualified man over a qualified woman?

(MAG162) SASHA: It’s Elias’s decision. TIM: [SIGH] It’s some sexist bullshit, is what it is…! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: I mean… probably.

And yet, no, it wasn’t sexism (or not only sexism), since Jonah had previously chosen Gertrude, as James Wright or as his predecessor. But Tim couldn’t know!

- I! Love! That Tim was the one to point out and insist that the situation is unfair to Sasha…

(MAG162) TIM: Look, it should have been you, and you just know if you had called him out, the little weasel would start talking about “traditions” and “the values of our esteemed founder, Jimmy Magma.” […] Ah! I’m serious though. You should say something.

Because it matches with what we saw of him, as someone who was very conscious of what is and isn’t a healthy workplace environment? (Like, yeah, he does make jokes, and there is the Infamous April Fool’s 2016, and Jon’s surprise birthday party! But when things are truly messed up, he points it out.)

(MAG048) ELIAS: Martin and Tim have both approached me. Apparently, you’ve been spying on them. ARCHIVIST: Spying on them…?! Of course not! No, it’s just… I– I’ve been… worried about their mental health following Prentiss’s attack, so I’ve been… keeping a closer eye on them than usual. ELIAS: Tim says you were watching his house. ARCHIVIST: Ah, it, w– that’s just not true. ELIAS: Well, what matters is your team thinks that it could be.

(MAG065) ARCHIVIST: Well, Elias clearly thought that– TIM: Elias should have fired you weeks ago. ARCHIVIST: What?! TIM: After everything you’ve pulled, you should be gone. But no. Instead, we all get to talk about how you’re feeling, because we’re worried about our stalker boss!

It showed that he worked for long (five years) in another company before The Magnus Institute?

- I really really hope that Elias was Watching and grinding his teeth because:

(MAG162) TIM: Look, it should have been you, and you just know if you had called him out, the little weasel would start talking about “traditions” and “the values of our esteemed founder, Jimmy Magma.” SASHA: [LAUGHS] [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Johnny… Magnum? SASHA: Closer. TIM: Jack Magnet. SASHA: That’s the one!

The lack of respect… Tim, I love you so much…

1°) The way Tim parodied Elias, it sounds like Elias was quite often raving about “traditions” and “the values of our esteemed founder”??? ELIAS………. (“I heard that Jonah Magnus had an eight pack.”)

2°) So, “little weasel” according to Tim and “weird little freak” according to Daisy in MAG082: is Elias… not very tall. (While Peter big–)

3°) I love that TMI Tim from The Magnus Institute (pretended that he?) couldn’t remember the name of the founder. Hey, at least, he didn’t suggest “Jonathan Magnus”.

4°) I LOVE HOW SASHA LAUGHED AND WAS HAVING FUN, TOO!!! Gods, Tim&Sasha were too damn cute together…

- Things that really, really didn’t age well: Tim mentioning murder.

(MAG162) TIM: Ah… yeah. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] … What if we kill him? SASHA: [CHUCKLING] What, Elias? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: No. Big Boss Sims! Cut the brakes on his office chair, no one would ever know! SASHA: [LAUGHS] TIM: Swap in a poisoned teabag, pin it on Martin – the perfect crime.

(MAG058) TIM: Look, I tried talking to Elias about it, but it doesn’t seem to do any good! MARTIN: He’s just under a lot of pressure. You know how messed up he’s been since Prentiss. TIM: How messed up he’s been?! MARTIN: Of course, I’m sorry – sorry, I didn’t mean that you weren’t, just– TIM: No! Because I didn’t start stalking my co-workers! MARTIN: Maybe try talking to him. TIM: Sure. Like he doesn’t already look at me like I’m a murderer.

(MAG065) ARCHIVIST: I said there’s no need for the attitude; I know things have been difficult, but– TIM: Oh? They have, have they? “Things” have been difficult. You spent a month staring at that footage, double-checking every moment, timing every tea break, looking at me like I somehow staged it – but no, you’re right! Things have been difficult. […] Shut up! Just stop talking. I’m sick of this, I’m sick of you! We didn’t kill Gertrude, and no one wants to kill you, you pompous idiot!

Lucky that this tape didn’t end up in Jon’s hands during season 2, uh… (But at the same time, it had the original Sasha’s voice on it… so same question as in MAG161: who had kept the tapes for so long, and had managed to avoid that Jon would listen to them before he understood what was happening with the Not!Them?)

- Something doesn’t work in Tim’s “Cut the brakes on his office chair”: Jon’s chair scrapes on the floor, we’ve heard it plenty! It doesn’t have wheels! So maybe it was the case back when they were in research? (Or Tim broke it between this recording and MAG001.)

- TIM IS A MAN OF CULTURE!

(MAG162) SASHA: [CHUCKLES] And how do you know that you won’t be the one that gets it? That boy makes a lot of tea. TIM: Oh, it’s okay, I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder. SASHA: Urgh! TIM: [PROUD SNORT]

And given Sasha’s reaction, she understood the Princess Bride reference!! (… And now that I think about it, their exchange had a bit of the Buttercup-Westley dynamic…)

- I’m not okay I’m very okay, Tim&Sasha… had canonically fucked…

(MAG162) TIM: I can’t believe you’d just abandon our intense [STAPLING] “Will-They-Won’t-They” storyline like that! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: Hum… I’m pretty sure we established it’s very much “Won’t-They”. TIM: No-no-no-no. See, we had the ill-advised hook-up; the awkward aftermath; and the gradually rebuilt friendship. [STAPLING] But… that’s all season two stuff. We’ve got like five more seasons before we get the heart-warming epilogue that makes it canon~ [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: I know it’s hard to hear, mate! But you’re not the love interest. [STAPLING] I think you might be the character they drop after the pilot! TIM: Uh– W–Wow! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] You are vicious today! SASHA: Sorry, Tim! I can’t hear you over all this stapling.

And I LOVE what we’re seeing of their relationship? With Tim joking around and Sasha able to be savage but not cruel either – we could feel that they had that kind of relationship where they can be a bit pushy and mean as part of their inside jokes?

I was shipping them already!! I love what we’re hearing of their actual relationship, how comfortable they were around each other as friends-who-have-slept-together-in-the-past!! I totally get why Tim seemed to love Sasha gdi.

I love how we had tiny glimpses that Tim had lost someone precious with her, and now… we can feel how much it was the case:

(MAG026) ARCHIVIST: Are you sure you’re all right to do this now? You can take a few days off to recover if you need. SASHA: No, it’s fine. Tim’s getting me a coffee, and I’d rather get this down while it’s still fresh in my mind.

(MAG161) TIM: What, does someone need to change their password again! ARCHIVIST: I… what? TIM: [LAUGHS] ARCHIVIST: Sasha, have you been going through my computer– SASHA: Definitely not! No idea what he’s talking about. TIM: ‘Course not! SASHA & TIM: [LAUGHS]

(MAG039) SASHA: What is he doing? No, Tim, just run! Leave it alone! MARTIN: Oh no, no, no, no… SASHA: Turn around. Just turn around. MARTIN: Oh god. There she is, there she is. ARCHIVIST: [MUTTERING] There’s nothing we can do. SASHA: Ah, screw this. ARCHIVIST: What, Sasha, NO! [DOOR OPENS] SASHA: Tim, look out! […] ARCHIVIST: I need you to describe what’s going on. For the record. MARTIN: Ah, yeah. Sure. So, um, Sasha tackled Tim and there was kind of a struggle, but she made it out of the Archives. That, that was about two minutes ago and she’s gone to get help. P–probably. I mean, she, she couldn’t… she wouldn’t just run so…

(MAG065) TIM: And the worst thing? The actual worst thing is that no one here has my back. With any of it! Elias doesn’t care; Martin just wants a tea party; and Sasha… god, and you!

(MAG079) TIM: What the hell was that? MARTIN: It… er... It looked… It kinda looked… TIM: Oh don’t say it. MARTIN: It did, though, didn’t it? TIM: That wasn’t Sasha. MARTIN: No. No, no, it wasn’t. You don’t… you don’t think– TIM: He told her to go home. Like us! MARTIN: Yeah. TIM: And she did. […] MARTIN: I didn’t hear anything. Why, do you think it was the Sasha-thing? TIM: Will you shut up about that. It wasn’t anything like her.

(MAG082) MARTIN: Maybe they said something about Sasha, y’know? TIM: She’s dead, Martin. Come on! Even you’re not that blind. He got her too. MARTIN: Don’t you say that. Don’t you dare say that! […] I don’t know who that old man was, but Jon would never hurt Sasha. TIM: Fine. If it wasn’t him, it must have been that thing we saw. MARTIN: It was only for a second. And what with that weird finger guy, and the door… I mean, it d–didn’t look like her. TIM: It did. You know it did. Maybe it ate her. Maybe it was her. Maybe she was always some messed up mutant and we just never noticed. Could have been “Michael”. I mean, it basically told us it was working with Jon. When you disappear and there are more than three different ways you might be dea– … Look, I’m sorry. It’s just this place. [SIGH] Bad things happen and eventually you don’t come back. MARTIN: T–Tim… TIM: I’m going to go lie down.

(MAG086) TIM: Wait. Tell me about the two Sashas. […] What did she look like? MELANIE: What? Sorry? TIM: The first Sasha. What… What was she like? MELANIE: Uh, she was… um… I don’t, er… maybe I’m… I’m getting it wrong. I just… okay, I can’t, er– TIM: No. I… think I understand. MELANIE: Well, can you explain? TIM: … Who am I even sad for? MELANIE: I… I’m, I’m sorry… I don’t, er… TIM: Um… I’m, I’m going to lie down…

(MAG114) TIM: You know how long that thing pretended to be Sasha? ARCHIVIST: Oh god… TIM: And I had no idea? I knew Sasha for years, we… I don’t know Martin as well as I knew her; I barely know what Melanie and Basira look like, or that weird murder-cop.

When The Unknowing came, Tim only mentioned Danny and avenging him – he probably didn’t remember anything about the real Sasha, only that someone had been there and wasn’t anymore?

- Kudos to the soundscaping this ep, because the timing of when the stapling sounds happened was just On Point (hammering words in/adding a bit of a playfully threatening feeling).

- ………….. Sasha had considered leaving…………… even before MAG001…

(MAG162) TIM: So, what are you gonna do? SASHA: … I don’t know, really. Might just get another job. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: What…? Seriously, just jump ship? SASHA: Yeah, I guess so! I mean… [STAPLING] There’s not much out there at the moment, but I’ve got a few alerts set up. […] I guess it’s just… I just don’t have anything keeping me here. You’ve got your brother… TIM: … yeah… SASHA: … Sorry. And, Martin can’t go anywhere that’ll look too hard at his CV. […] Don’t worry, I just– I mean… I kind of just… ended up here. And I like it! Li–liked it. But if I’m bashing my head against the glass ceiling, it’s time to go. TIM: Well… [RUSTLING OF PAPER] I’ll miss you. SASHA: Yeah. [STAPLING] You will.

1°) In canon, Sasha had been the first one to mention the option of quitting:

(MAG026) SASHA: I should really quit, you know. We, we all should. I don’t think this a normal job. I, I don’t think this is a safe job. ARCHIVIST: You’re probably right. Do you want to quit? SASHA: No. I’m just… I’m just too damned curious, I suppose. You? ARCHIVIST: No. Whatever’s going on, I… need to know.

… and rejected it for the same reasons as Jon. But it’s interesting that with Tim, she identified that she didn’t have anything to make her stay back then, while we know of Tim’s and Martin’s reasons. Jon said that Sasha had always had an interest in the paranormal:

(MAG048) ARCHIVIST: Of course, it is becoming rapidly apparent in my investigation that I can trust nobody. But of all of them, Sasha seemed the least suspicious. I can’t find any evidence she ever even met Gertrude, and her working here seems the natural progression of her lifelong interest in the paranormal. She’s been doing her work with the same diligence as before the Prentiss incident and, indeed, of all of them, seems to have been the least affected.

… So was that part the Not!Them rewriting her history to “make sense” of Sasha working at the Institute, or something genuinely pre-existent?

2°) When it comes to Tim: he had pointed out that he had grown “comfortable” in research and that Danny had stopped being so much of a priority (MAG104), I… wonder if Sasha had anything to do with that. Did Tim accept Jon’s offer to transfer to the Archives because he knew that Sasha would go there…?

3°) I’m sad again for Martin, since Sasha pointed out that leaving the Institute wasn’t really an option for him. And remembering Martin’s wording at the end of season 1:

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: Why are you here Martin? MARTIN: Well, well, Prentiss is out there and you can’t run so– ARCHIVIST: I mean at the Archive in general. Why haven’t you quit? MARTIN: Are you giving me my review now? ARCHIVIST: No… We’re clearly doing a whole heart-to-heart thing and, truth be told, the question’s been bothering me. You’ve been living in the Archives for four months, constant threat of… this. Sleeping with a fire extinguisher and a corkscrew. Even you must be aware that that’s not normal for an archiving job? Why are you still here? MARTIN: [CONSIDERING] Don’t really know. I just am. It didn’t feel right to just leave. I’ve typed up a few resignation letters, but I just couldn’t bring myself to hand them in. I’m trapped here. It’s like I can’t… move on and the more I struggle, the more I’m stuck.

It feels like, technically, Martin constructed his own trap through his lies. (Though, at this point he could have left the Institute and changed his CV, claiming an experience he now indeed had and scraping the fake diplomas. But then, the Institute isn’t seen favourably, so…)

- I REALLY WOULD HAVE NEVER EXPECTED TO LEARN that Sasha knew about Danny, oh GODS…

(MAG162) SASHA: [SIGH] … I guess it’s just… I just don’t have anything keeping me here. You’ve got your brother… TIM: … yeah… SASHA: … Sorry.

Tim’s small broken voice when she reminded him of it ;_;

And in the same way, I! Can’t! Believe! That! Martin! Had! Told! Tim! About! His! CV!

(MAG162) SASHA: … Sorry. And, Martin can’t go anywhere that’ll look too hard at his CV. TIM: … Wait. How do you know about that? SASHA: It’s all on the system. Our digital security is shocking, by the way. Besides, it’s not even a good lie. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Okay, but seriously, you cannot let Martin know. He’ll think I told you, and I swore to keep schtum. SASHA: Hey. Don’t worry, I just– I mean… I kind of just… ended up here.

1°) It’s absolutely hilarious that disaster!paranoid!stalker!season2!Jon… turned out to have been the last one of the original team to find out about Martin’s secret.

(MAG042) ARCHIVIST: There are a few pieces I feel could almost have been affecting if his style wasn’t so obviously enamoured with Keats, but there is an unfinished letter, addressed to his mother in Devon, in which he mentions that he is worried about “the others finding out I’ve been lying”. It may be nothing, some… inconsequential deception or other – after all, it is ostensibly written to his mother – but if it was actually to be sent to someone else… I will keep my eye on Martin.

(MAG056) MARTIN: I… … I lied on my CV. ARCHIVIST: … What? MARTIN: I don’t have a Master’s in parapsychology, I don’t even have a degree. When I was 17, my mom, she… had… she had some problems, and I ended up dropping out of school, t– trying to support us. I tried everything, but no one was hiring. So I… I just kinda started to lie on my applications, sending them out to just about anywhere. For some reason, my lie about parapsychology got me an interview with Elias and, and then a job here. M– most of my employment details are made up, I’m only 29! ARCHIVIST: Right, I… uh… I believe you! MARTIN: Why are you smiling…? ARCHIVIST: Yes, I just… hum… I won’t mention it to Elias. Just between us. MARTIN: So you… don’t… mind? ARCHIVIST: To be quite honest, Martin, I’m… I’m really rather relieved.

Sasha made her own research by hacking through the Institute system (pfTTR, take that Elias), and probably crosschecked Martin’s claims?, while Tim… knew because Martin had confided in him. Meanwhile, Jon spiralled around a misunderstanding, until he confronted Martin quite violently.

2°) I’m ;; emotional over the fact that Tim & Sasha didn’t know that the other knew, but kept Martin’s secret, even from Jon. Sasha had been a bit savage towards Martin in season 1:

(MAG026) SASHA: Right. Well, I’m sure you know I was sceptical about how dangerous this Jane Prentiss was when you first suggested Martin stay in the archive. I mean, it’s not that I didn’t believe him about what happened, it just seemed… Well, Martin is a great researcher, but his self-preservation instincts are not the strongest, and to be frank I thought that if this Prentiss were a danger everyone seemed to think, then he’d almost certainly be dead.

… Or at least condescending, but the fact that she knew about his CV is adding another dimension to these words: she knew he didn’t have the qualifications, and had still avoided to put the blame on his lack of competency (“Martin is a great researcher”). Tim and Sasha were casually protecting Martin in their own way, uh…

3°) Ouffftttt, it’s highlighting something mean about Martin&Tim’s dynamic… Tim had acknowledged that he was closer to Sasha than Martin:

Martin had told Tim about his secret (the lies on his CV)… yet Tim hadn’t told him about Danny, which Martin would learn about in MAG104, while Sasha… knew. Had she discovered it by herself (police reports regarding the disappearance of Tim’s brother), or did Tim tell her? At least, they shared that secret.

- Tim was incredibly SAVAGE about Jon in this episode, but technically… he had still accepted Jon’s offer to go to the Archives – you wouldn’t do that for someone you truly despise and hate? But ;; that there was such heavy resentment towards the fact that Sasha had been robbed of the position… It’s fair, and he identified the genuine culprit (Elias), but wooooft, those were very harsh words towards Jon, still. (And at the same time: fair, when we remember what Jon was like in season 1.)

- I… love how that tape contributed both to Sasha and Tim as characters? It was a nice move to have them pointing out people’s misconceptions or “flattening” of their personalities, in a moment that was “outside” of the show’s formula (season 1, until the climax, was solely statements, work-related discussions being overall accidental):

(MAG162) TIM: Oh, for god’s sake! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] “Oh, Tim’s so hard to talk to, seriously, he won’t stop making jokes and references, not like Sasha!” They’ve got no idea. SASHA: And they never will. TIM: Seriously, though. [STAPLING] Everyone thinks you’re just this “reliable down-to-earth nerd”… [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: And what makes you think they’re wrong? TIM: So what? Actually I’m the one who doesn’t get to see the real you? [STAPLING] SASHA: No such thing. TIM: As what? SASHA: [SCOFF] A “real you”. TIM: [GROAN] SASHA: I don’t think so, at least. It’s all just masks. TIM: Alright, Stanislavski. SASHA: You know what I mean. TIM: You really believe that? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: Kind of! I mean… TIM: [CHUCKLE] SASHA: … Who knows why we do what we do? TIM: I do. SASHA: No. [STAPLING] All you know is what your brain does to justify what you do. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] It’s no more “reason” than the face you put on for Jon. [STAPLING] The only real you is the actions you take. TIM: Hey! I’ll have you know, I have a rich inner life. SASHA: How nice for you. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] But hurry up with your outer one: you’re falling behind, and I’m not saving you any staples.

(And it was! So appropriate, to have Sasha point out that Gertrude was faking the old senile woman persona in the same exchange.)

1°) I love that Tim was aware that he was perceived as the One Making Jokes (and self-conscious about it? Or aware that some people were finding it off-putting and an obstacle to forming a meaningful bond with him?), while Sasha showed that she was a bit meaner than we had been led to assume (and indeed, “reliable” was the perfect way to describe her in season 1… through Jon’s eyes).

2°) Tim is a theatre kid confirmed, he knows his classics. (Stanislavski)

3°) Okay, so obviously, Sasha’s speech about how people appear/who they are, and the jokes about being forgotten are AOUCH considering what happened with the Not!Them:

(MAG162) TIM: What possible reason could she have for being criminally incompetent in a manky old archive? SASHA: No idea. And honestly, it kind of worries me. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Well… Tell you what. If you get eaten alive [STAPLING] by improperly filed statements? Me and Martin will avenge you. SASHA: Myeah, aren’t you sweet. TIM: I mean it! We’ll burn this place to the ground, it’ll be all like, “Sashaaa! Saaashaaaa!” SASHA: And what about Jon? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Well! “Given the incoherence of this statement, I find it hard to believe it ever occurred!” SASHA: [LAUGHS] TIM: “In fact, based on the evidence, I find it highly unlikely this Sasha ever even existed at all.” SASHA: No! You took it too far. I’m unforgettable!

But the first part of her argument reminded me mostly of The Web: how actions and intentions often don’t match, what is the essence of oneself amongst what is influencing you. The idea that intentions are posterior to action was very reminiscent of how Trevor had described The Web’s effects on him (MAG056), so… Mm.

I wonder if there is something about the fact that… all this irony about Sasha getting Stranger’d and forgotten, about Jon wishing for “quiet” and that the others would “go away”, is not… fabricated somehow? I don’t think the tapes could have been tampered with; it’s mainly that there was so much dramatic irony that it feels like Sasha’s fate had been engineered, somehow, to transform her words from the past into a sort of dramatic self-fulfilling prediction…? I mean, The Web was interested in story-telling (MAG123), and Sasha got attacked when coming near a Web artefact…

- I!! Love!! That Sasha!! Had been able to see through Gertrude!

(MAG162) TIM: Yeah, yeah! … I still can’t believe Gertrude was allowed to let this place get into such a state! SASHA: Mm. [STAPLING] I just want to know why. TIM: What do you mean, “why”? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] You saw her, she’s like a hundred years old and more cardigan than woman! She just started to lose it. Sad, but it happens. SASHA: You never talked to her, did you? [STAPLING] TIM: Well, I mean… I must’ve, at some point. SASHA: Eh! You’d remember. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Why? What was she like? SASHA: Stone. Cold. Bitch. TIM: Sasha! SASHA: And sharper than you. [STAPLING] No way this is accidental. TIM: [CHUCKLING] Oh, yeah, this is all a big geriatric conspiracy…! [SILENCE] Wait, seriously? SASHA: Mm–hmm.

(“Stone cold bitch” is… indeed the best way to describe Gertrude.)

Sasha had also been the first one to point out how shady Elias could be:

(MAG039) SASHA: … Did I ever tell you I first joined the Institute as a practical researcher? I had to analyse and investigate all the stuff in here. Take notes after sleeping in the rusted chair, write in the memory book, all that sort of thing. I transferred after three months. Would’ve quit, but couldn’t afford to back then. Never understood why they keep this stuff secret. I mean, we’ve, we’ve enough here to send any sceptic packing, but it’s just locked away. I… I asked Elias about it once, but he just muttered something about funding and mission statements. He’s good at changing the subject, isn’t he?

She was clever! Elias presented her death as a (useful) accident in MAG160, but it still feels like he casually did his best to make sure she wouldn’t stay around for long during the worms attack – how fast would she have understood about The Eye…?

- CURIOUSLY, Sasha told Tim that he would have remembered if he had spoken with Gertrude… but Jon did, and didn’t seem to feel much about it:

(MAG043) ARCHIVIST: I only ever spoke to Gertrude once or twice during her time as archivist. I… I was very new. I don’t remember what her voice sounded like.

… is there something that made Jon forget a few things, or already not pay attention to some things back before he become the Archivist…? (Since we already had the thing about Jon forgetting the ice cream outing last episode…)

- Tim blamed Sasha being passed over for a promotion on sexism, Elias mentioned that the fact Jon had been marked by The Web made him pick him… but technically, why not Tim, who had already encountered The Stranger?

(MAG104) TIM: You were watching then? ELIAS: Most of it. TIM: Surprised you didn’t know it already. That’s your thing, isn’t it? ELIAS: I knew there was some trauma that drew you to us, but I can’t say I ever thought to look much deeper. An oversight, perhaps, but I’m looking now.

… Was it because, unlike Jon who had nobody by the beginning of season 1, Tim&Sasha… were at least close to each other?

- More pressing concerns: did Tim&Sasha ever bang in the Archives.

(MAG162) TIM: [CHUCKLES] Alright. He fires you because of all the drugs and the wild orgies on Archive property. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: Yeah, that’s fair! Now: get back to work.

Did orgies happen in the Archives.

- … That’s a LOT of references to fire in only two episodes, and four tapes which had been sent to Jon pre-apocalypse by someone/something who isn’t necessarily Elias.

(MAG161) TIM: … Oh, goodness! [SHAKES A BOX OF MATCHES] A source of ignition? In the Archives? […] Oh? Woops! [A MATCH IS LIT] Sorry; my hand slipped. And again. [CRACKLE OF A BIRTHDAY CANDLE WICK] And again. And… a couple more times, here – I’m so clumsy today; that is a lot of fire! ARCHIVIST: I’m really not comfortable with– SASHA: So blow them out, then. ARCHIVIST: Oh. [FIRE CRACKLING] … Right, yeah–

(MAG162) TIM: Well… Tell you what. If you get eaten alive [STAPLING] by improperly filed statements? Me and Martin will avenge you. SASHA: Myeah, aren’t you sweet. TIM: I mean it! We’ll burn this place to the ground, it’ll be all like, “Sashaaa! Saaashaaaa!”

So. Really really unlikely that it was Elias sending them to “gloat”, as Martin assumed, since it feels too pointed. I’m still banking on The Web, but not necessarily as an indication of what Martin&Jon should do – more like a rubbing-in-your-face that they had all the keys back then, that Jon had been given the lighter, that the spiders had showed him in season 2 the gas main that Leitner had moved… and that they didn’t do anything. Or, burning the Archives is a necessarily step in The Web’s plan, The Web is trying to push into that direction by using Jon&Martin’s resentment towards Elias, and burning the Archives (if it doesn’t end up burning Jon-the-Archive himself) will make things worse somehow.

(Given how burning Gerry’s page had been so difficult (because knowledge and because the things Gerry could still tell him) and painful (he was sobbing in pain when he finally did it) for Jon in MAG117, I wonder how much worse it would be to burn The Eye’s Archives?)

And now, confirmation that Jon still has the lighter on him, it had been a while! And we might be getting closer to an answer about it, since… it was Martin mentioning it – Martin had been the one to receive that delivery.

(MAG035) MARTIN: I’m sorry, are you two meant– BREEKON: Won’t take up your time. HOPE: Just got a delivery. MARTIN: Look, you really can’t actually– BREEKON: Package for Jonathan Sims. HOPE: Says right here. MARTIN: Well, I don’t really know where he– HOPE: We’ll just leave it with you. BREEKON: Be sure he gets it.

(MAG036) TIM: Oh, ah, nothing urgent, um, it’s just Elias was asking a couple questions about the delivery. […] Um, apparently Martin, uh, took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you. Did he not mention it? ARCHIVIST: No, he… Oh, yes, actually. I completely forgot. He said he put it in my desk draw, hold on. [SOUND OF PACKAGE BEING RETRIEVED AND OPENED] TIM: Er, what is it? ARCHIVIST: A lighter. An old Zippo. TIM: You smoke? ARCHIVIST: No. And I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive! TIM: Okay. Is there anything unusual about it? ARCHIVIST: Not really. Just a sort of spider web design on the front. Doesn’t mean anything to me. You?

(MAG037) ARCHIVIST: I just want a record. To make sure I have something I can check. MARTIN: Okay, fine. There were two delivery men. They were big, and they spoke with cockney accents that might have been fake, and they delivered a package for you. I don’t remember anything else about what they looked like. ARCHIVIST: Nothing at all? MARTIN: [EXASPERATED] They looked normal. Like you’d expect. They looked like two, huge, cockney delivery men. I don’t know what else you want? ARCHIVIST: What about the table? MARTIN: I didn’t see the table. I guess Rosie must have signed for it. I mean, it’s her office on the way to Artefact Storage, that makes sense.

(MAG039) ELIAS: Because there isn’t an actual fire. SASHA: Right, right. Can we set it off manually? I think Jon’s got a lighter somewhere. ELIAS: He’s not smoking again, is he?

(MAG091) DAISY: One wallet, brown leather, no cash. One packet cigarettes, Silk Cut. One lighter, gold, spiderweb design.

(MAG111) GERRY: Nice lighter. You a spider freak, then? ARCHIVIST: What? Oh! Er, no. I–I never really, uh… I never really thought of it. I–I’m Jon. I’m with the Magnus Institute.

(MAG136) DAISY: Spider’s sneaky like that. [PAUSE] Like that lighter you’re always using. Where’d you get that? ARCHIVIST: Mm. [STATIC] Good point. We should keep our eyes open. Anyway, how’s Basira doing?

(MAG162) MARTIN: [INHALE] Okay… [SIGH] You said this place, the–the cabin was… [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It, it’s feeding on us, right? ARCHIVIST: Yes… MARTIN: … So should we… destroy it, before we go? [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND, BUT LOUDER AND CONFRONTATIONAL] [DISTANT RUMBLE OF THUNDER] ARCHIVIST: I honestly don’t know if we can. MARTIN: Hm. ARCHIVIST: Besides, there’s… far worse out there. Better to try and avoid it, I think. MARTIN: We’re not even gonna try? We, we’ve got your lighter, maybe we could just– ARCHIVIST: We can’t fight the world, Martin. MARTIN: [AMUSED DEFIANT HUFF] Says you.

(This is how Web-Desolation!Martin can still win. ARSOOOOOOOON.)

Re: Jon’s lighter, and Jon constantly forgetting about it, I… am now also considering another option about what is making him forget that it has a spider design on it, that he got it in dubious circumstances (Breekon&Hope delivering it), and that it had stuck with him without Jon ever investigating about it.

What if it’s not The Web making him forget that he has it, but Beholding?

Making Jon not pay attention to it could absolutely be a Spider thing, we had a prime example with Gregory Cox (MAG123: “I haven’t given the name of this mystery client because to be honest, Greg’s never told me. I’ve asked him plenty of times, but whenever I do, he gives me this… surprised look, insists he’s told me before, and then immediately forgets and changes the subject.”), and that was my only supposition until now… but technically, we’ve already seen Beholding trying to prevent Jon from accessing information that he could use against it, too?

(MAG154) ARCHIVIST: I went back to Eli– er, Peter’s office. To that box of tapes; started rifling through. And I started to try and pay attention to the ones I… wasn’t drawn to. The tapes I instinctively wanted to discard. [SIGH] There was one, this one, that my hand… pulled back from. I–I dropped it, twice, when I went to pick it up. Even now, I’m… [AUDIBLE FORCED SMILE] struggling to press play…! I am the avatar of Awful Knowledge And Revealed Secrets… so what does it not want me to know…?

The lighter could have been The Web keeping tabs on Jon and sometimes influencing him when it needed to by making itself forgotten… But it could also be that The Web sent the lighter, that it was there, that it stuck with Jon, that it was supposed to help him burn the Archives, that Beholding couldn’t get Jon to separate from it, but could still make sure that baby!Beholdingavatar!Jon was unable to pay attention to it and making his attention slip over it like water…? (Am still banking on Web-Web doing Web stuff but. Beholding is technically an option as well.)

- Other thing that these recordings all share: a tape recorder being around and acknowledged / alluded to. In MAG161, both the birthday party and Gertrude&Leitner’s exchange had been conscious, willing recording: Tim was recording the scene as a memory, Gertrude had been recording a message to her successor in case things went badly.

In MAG162, recorders were there and acknowledged… but it’s a bit less clear whether they were supposed to be turned on or not.

(MAG162) [CLICK–] [RUMMAGING SOUNDS] [BOTTLES CLINKING] [PLASTIC RATTLING] GERRY: Hm? GERTRUDE: Find anything [ITEM FALLING ON THE GROUND] interesting– GERRY: Oh…! GERTRUDE: –back there? [DOOR CLOSES] GERRY: Yeah, sorry, I was just, hum… yeah. GERTRUDE: Curiosity is a very dangerous trait in our line of work, Gerard. GERRY: So is ignorance. GERTRUDE: [CHUCKLES] Well. You’re not going to find many dark secrets in the stationery cupboard. [DRAWER OR DOOR CLOSES] GERRY: Just the recorded confession of your evil plans, then. [WOOD CREAKS] GERTRUDE: I’d be something of a fool to leave that one in the recorder. GERRY: I’ve never really seen you use it. GERTRUDE: Hm! It’s generally only for those statements I think might be useful to my successor. Or, the occasional interview.

In both cases: the recorder was there. Gerry found it while inspecting Gertrude’s private things (and it was already recording before we heard him manipulating something plastic, most likely tape boxes); Sasha helped Tim to find (again) the tape recorder he was searching for for Jon. But in both cases, nobody mentioned they were being recorded, or that they had accidentally clicked it on. Were they turned on by accident, or were they already “autonomous” (/controlled by something else), leading to the recording? Tim had trouble finding the tape recorder again – had it… disappeared for a while? It’s still unclear whether or not they were already acting up on their own at the time…

(Something else these four tapes have in common is that the Archives were hosting… “unprofessional” activities putting a risk to documents? Jon’s birthday party (Tim even had matches), Gertrude ready to pour petrol in the Archives, and here: Gerry riffling through Gertrude’s possessions, Sasha stapling documents.)

- Overall, I loved loved loved the “statement”: it was so eerie, cruel and poetic? So insidiously cutting under the soft voice? And redfiojr I’m so happy and so mad about the fact that the cabin wasn’t neutral anymore and was feeding on Jon&Martin, because it was so obvious in retrospect! Jon spitting that there was no “comfort” anymore in the new world, but very adamant that they were “safe” and should stay there!

(MAG161) MARTIN: O–kay, we’ll just file that under… ominous, for now. … We seem safe enough in here, at least. ARCHIVIST: I suppose so. MARTIN: Bit of a hideaway? ARCHIVIST: Or a prison. MARTIN: Uh, yes. Still: better than outside. […] ARCHIVIST: It hurts. MARTIN: I know. ARCHIVIST: … I need time. MARTIN: I know. But we can’t stay in this cabin forever…! [DISTANT HOWL] ARCHIVIST: Why not? It, it’s quiet here, an–and I have you…! […] MARTIN: Well, that as may be, we can’t just stay here forever. ARCHIVIST: What could possibly be out there that you want to see? MARTIN: A way to stop this, a way to turn the world back! ARCHIVIST: [HINT OF A DISHEARTENED SMILE] … Do you really think there is one? [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] MARTIN: Well, if there is, it’s not in here, is it? ARCHIVIST: It’s so… It’s so loud, out there? The agony, the–the terror, I can see it all so much more clearly…! MARTIN: I’m sorry. ARCHIVIST: No, it’s– [SIGH] I love you, I just… I need more time. [SILENCE] MARTIN: It’s alright. [RUSTLING OF CLOTHES] [CREAKING SOUND] ARCHIVIST: [SOFT EXHALE] MARTIN: It’s alright, I’m good at waiting.

The creaking sounds were overly present – it was because the house was a character by itself! And indeed, it was curious that Martin felt like he was “visiting” Jon, and not like… they were living in the same tiny space?

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: … Wha…? [STATIC REACHING A PEAK] … “There is a place, deep in the heart of Fear, where you trap yourself and claim that it is safety. [STATIC DECREASES] It was once a cabin, and professes still to be such, but as with all in this new world that promises respite… it is a trap. […] If you had need to eat, no doubt there would be food; if you had need to sleep, no doubt the beds would be welcoming. […] Look closer at the rough planks that make this cabin, and see that they are warmer, softer and more yielding than the hard timber they present. Are the dimensions of this place quite what they were when you stayed here before The Change…? [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Or are the walls thicker, the doors heavier when they close. [LONG WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Where the curtains always stained that dull maroon? Or has the dust of the horrific world they keep at bay dyed them so. The one you love is always near, [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] so close that refuge sometimes feels a prison. And yet your voice does not echo when you call to them; and they find they sometimes cannot hear it.”

[…] MARTIN: And, I found some rope in the attic, and I packed that with the maps. […] I, I actually, eh! I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink–

I have questions about that cabin, though, because it now feels like it was supposed to be a full house even before the Change, given the bedS (we all know that Jon&Martin used to only use one anyway during the three weeks honeymoon, uh.) and the mention of the attic. Daisy, what the heck was your safehouse, it wasn’t a tiny thing.

- Personally, cabin felt like a mix of Corruption, Buried, Lonely to me /o/

- I wasn’t expecting so much Jon&Martin, AND YET, I’m delighted:

(MAG161) ARCHIVIST: No, it’s– [SIGH] I love you, I just… I need more time. [SILENCE] MARTIN: It’s alright.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: The screams may linger on the distant breeze, and your eye may wander beyond the curtains from time to time, but you and the one you love are, it seems… safe. […] There within the thing that pretends to be a cabin is the one you love. You hold each other, whisper words of reassurance, but the place knows this comfort to be a lie, and laces upon it instead the awful fear of losing what you have. […] It will not let you feel the warmth of joy that this love may claim to gift – it is only a mouldy treasure to be clung to; something to fear the loss of as you hold it so tight that it withers, and warps. […] The one you love is always near, [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] so close that refuge sometimes feels a prison. And yet your voice does not echo when you call to them; and they find they sometimes cannot hear it. […] “Stay!” the cabin says. [THUNDER CLAPPING] “Stay within my false defences; cling so close to what you desperately wish to save, and live in shaking fear of the things beyond that may take it from you. Throw another log on the fire and curl up close. There are always more logs for the fire here.””

The Eye and the cabin, sharing a bag of popcorn while Jon&Martin were being pda for an undetermined infinite amount of time.

(Yessss that one of Jon’s fears, used against him, was his fear of losing Martin… ;_;)

- SUPER GLAD that alright, they’re leaving the cabin already, Jon was in such a state partially because of supernatural influence, and snapped out of it already. It… wasn’t making me super comfortable re:Martin, because it was putting him back in the position of the caretaker of a moody, depressed person, trying to please/assuage Jon while doomed to fail, without leaving much space to Martin as a character for himself. While he was already beaming again at the end of this episode, and showing his competences for himself, so yay!

I’m surprised that they’re already going on the move – there are still 38 episodes in the season, they already have a goal (going back to the Institute, finding Elias), what will happen after they do?

- … So, I’m guessing those were the people that lived in the village:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “Outside, it is raining. Heavy drops fall, ice-cold and laced with salt; tears of voyeuristic delight from The Eyes that see and drink in all – it sinks into the dry cracked ground, and from the mud faces struggle to push themselves free and breathe. [EVIL MOO / BÂÂ IN THE DISTANCE] [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] They cannot breach the surface, as the slick soil flows down their throats.”

;; Kinda hope that we’re not heading towards “everyone is dead(/worse) or nerfed except for avatars and the MCs, and it will be like that until the end”…

(See, the themes of isolation don’t hit me badly with the current events? But the idea that Everyone Can Suffer And (Not!)Die Except A Selected Few, Mainly These Able-Bodied Male Main Characters Who Have The Tools To Suffer Less is a bit heavier for me.)

- … This bit:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “Something moves outside, struggling to crawl upon a hundred reaching grasping hands. It shudders, and grips the earth, pulling itself along as nails rip free and skin scrapes loose. It is afraid of what it has become, and where it might be going.”

Reminded me of Daisy? It might have been an evil cow, but “it is afraid of what is had become” really reminds me of Daisy…

- Sound-setting wise, I wondered at some point if we weren’t precisely witnessing a reverse-engineering of the apocalypse, since… Jon was “saying” a statement talking to himself in second person (like Jonah’s in MAG160), and we began to hear the thunder in the background (just like in MAG160). Very eerie, very “oh no, something big is happening” moment.

I… am not sure re:what happened with Jon and the “statement”, but it reminded me of the Coffin and his understanding of The Lonely:

(MAG132) ARCHIVIST: Come on… Come on, where I… DAISY: Jon? ARCHIVIST: … Come on… [STATIC] [SHAKY BREATHING] DAISY: Jon? ARCHIVIST: I know… DAISY: Th–the way out? ARCHIVIST: No… I know where we are! There isn’t no out, not here. This is… this is forever deep below creation. Where the weight of existence bears down… This is The Buried, and we are alive… There isn’t even an up. … Oh god… What have I done! What have I done…

(MAG159) PETER: [DISTORTED] Just go. ARCHIVIST: Make me. … Unless you can’t. The Lonely and The Eye aren’t too far apart, are they? Not really. What good’s being alone if you don’t know how alone you truly are. Which means… well, I think you’re worried. You know I’ll find him eventually, and you know I can find you. […] [STATIC] … Or perhaps you could answer some questions. PETER: [DISTORTED] … What? ARCHIVIST: [STATIC INCREASES] I wouldn’t try to leave if I were you. I can See you now. I can find you wherever you go. PETER: Fine! It was just a thought. [STATIC DECREASES] So leave.

Being overwhelmed by a power, until his Beholding-alignment shines through and leads to an understanding of what is happening, how the Fear is operating. So I would assume that the same happened: Jon was subjected to the cabin’s influence, and finally understood what it was doing, which allowed him to gain the upper hand against it, like it had with Peter.

Interesting that the tape recorder which invited itself… chose that moment to record him, although we had mentions that Jon had listened to the tapes we hear many times before. As if the tape recorder knew that Something More would happen this time – or it caused it? (Jon had been able to feel his anchor in the Coffin once Martin had left the tape recorders around, as if they were amplifying his powers…)

- … I’m mostly concerned about why The Eye wanted Jon to come out of it because uh, Jon transforming is… not a good sign, and The Eye seems plenty satisfied with the new world… but also, has been characterised by a constant craving for more:

(MAG120) ELIAS: The Ceaseless Watcher of all that is, and all that was; the voracious, infinite hunger that tears at his soul, invoking him to discover, to observe, to experience all and everything and forever. It stares into him, and it stares out of him, and he is falling into the devouring eternity of its pupil. He wants to cry out in horror, but he cannot. He. is. whole.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “Outside, it is raining. Heavy drops fall, ice-cold and laced with salt; tears of voyeuristic delight from The Eyes that see and drink in all – it sinks into the dry cracked ground, and from the mud faces struggle to push themselves free and breathe. […] This place wishes to be our tomb. But The Eye does not wish that. No. [STATIC RISES] The Eye wishes instead that it be my chrysalis. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It is time that I emerge…” [STATIC REACHING A PEAK]

So. What just happened / what is meant to happen to Jon? Is there a distinction between the “you”, “us”, “I”, is this Jon “becoming” in the same vein that Elias was pushing for back in the days:

(MAG116) ELIAS: I have been doing my best to prepare you, Jon, to See. You should hopefully have it a bit easier than the others. ARCHIVIST: Another of my… powers? ELIAS: More… an aspect of your becoming. DAISY: You don’t say. ARCHIVIST: Er… right.

(Lucky that “chrysalis” means “butterfly”, because, hum, if it had been about a moth… We already had Jack Barnabas’s “I just couldn’t avoid being drawn in, like a moth to the flame.” in MAG067…)

- Also surprised by Jon’s sudden burst of “hatred” because? It would be absolutely understandable given what he did to them (+ Elias was the last human to see Sasha, in MAG039…), but it still sounded a bit uncharacteristic from Jon, and very sudden:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: No, no, lo–look… I, I–I was listening, and I–I was filled with this… hatred. This anger; I–I wanted to leave, and hunt down Elias, a–and…!

And I’m reminded of The Web pulling someone in a direction, and letting them rationalise why they would want to do this?

(Also, sob about Jon going back to instinctive “Elias” here. His complains about Martin using “Elias” really was the outlier in MAG161, because he was being overall insufferable, uh.)

- BIG new thing is what Jon described with the tape recorder:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: This cabin. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It’s not right. And, when I thought that, I–I felt… It, it all poured out of me down… into the tape. MARTIN: [SIGH] ARCHIVIST: A–a–an–and it… felt good. It–it felt… right. MARTIN: Okay. [BREATHES IN] So you’re recording again? ARCHIVIST: I might need to. If we’re going to make it…! […] MARTIN: You’re… taking the recorder? ARCHIVIST: Uh, just in case I need to… vent. Again, it… [INHALE] it helps. MARTIN: [INHALE] Okay… [SIGH]

… So it feels like Jon just fed the recorder with an excess. What are they and what is Jon feeding, exactly…? (Interesting that unlike Beholding, who used to suck out energy from him in season 3 when he was reading or taking too many statements… “pouring” himself to the tape recorder made him active and functioning.)

(Also, “to vent”: Jon, you’ve been using the tape recorders as your personal therapists for three full seasons, by now.)

- Martin…

(MAG162) MARTIN: What happened? The tapes, were you– [STATIC DECREASES] ARCHIVIST: I–I was listening, and it… it was the one with… Tim an–and Sasha, uh, where they… MARTIN: Yeah, yeah. … Yeah.

… has listened to these tapes too, uh ;_;

- This was the “Characters Don’t Have Any Respect For Posh!Jon” episode, while! Technically, Tim&Martin had each already done impressions before:

(MAG162) TIM: Well! “Given the incoherence of this statement, I find it hard to believe it ever occurred!” SASHA: [LAUGHS] TIM: “In fact, based on the evidence, I find it highly unlikely this Sasha ever even existed at all.”

(MAG039) TIM: … still working? Ah, okay. Test, test. What are you doing on the floor? Huh. [IMITATES ARCHIVIST VOICE] “Statement of Joe Spooky, regarding sinister happenings in the downtown old–”

(MAG117) MARTIN: I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but… it felt good, weaving my own little web. OH, oh Christ, I hope Jon doesn’t actually listen to these. “Good lord, is Martin becoming some sort of spider person?” No, Jon, it’s an expression, chill out.

(MAG162) MARTIN: No, no; I, I know what you’re going to say. [RUMMAGING] “What good are maps when the very Earth has…” and blah blah blah…

Gods, I love these idiots.

- Surprised that “tea” is making its comeback! Is it linked to Jon’s state of mind or Martin’s? Is there a trick or… is it plain, mundane tea, which will remain actual tea because Martin isn’t clinging to it as comfort but just as a nice thing that he is allowed to enjoy – and Jon doing the same by extension?

(MAG162) TIM: Swap in a poisoned teabag, pin it on Martin – the perfect crime. SASHA: [CHUCKLES] And how do you know that you won’t be the one that gets it? That boy makes a lot of tea.

(MAG045) MARTIN: Hey, I-just-wanted-to-check-if-you-wanted-a-cup-of-tea? ARCHIVIST: Aaah… […] MARTIN: Right, right… D– did you want that tea? ARCHIVIST: Nnno. Thank you, Martin.

(MAG065) TIM: And the worst thing? The actual worst thing is that no one here has my back. With any of it! Elias doesn’t care; Martin just wants a tea party; and Sasha… god, and you!

(MAG069) MARTIN: … Look. Jon… when was the last time we all just… talked? Just talked, without all of this– ARCHIVIST: Thank you for the tea, Martin. MARTIN: … Oookay. Fine. [DOOR OPENS] He’s not wrong, you know. [DOOR CLOSES] ARCHIVIST: … [SIGH] [WEAKLY] I know. Statement of… Darren Harlow… [SIGH] [FIRMER] Statement of Darren Harlow regarding a failed psychology experiment at the University of Surrey.

(MAG110) BASIRA: Look, Martin. I know you care. I know you do. But caring isn’t enough. You can’t just stand next to someone with a cup of tea and hope everything’s gonna be alright. MARTIN: That's. not. fair. You don’t even know me. BASIRA: Prove it. We need to do something. Because if we just let him– MARTIN: Oh, h–hi, hey, hey Melanie! I, I, c–can I get you – a – cup – of – tea?

(MAG116) MARTIN: What, I’ll sit around drinking tea until the world ends?! Or– you, you know, it doesn’t. BASIRA: We hope.

(MAG117) MARTIN: Anyway. I guess I’m just… sick of sitting on my hands, drinking tea and hoping everyone’s okay. This way I finally get to do something. It’s gonna hurt, but… I’m ready. And I want to. Also, I get to burn some stuff, so that cool!

(MAG118) MARTIN: So what? I don’t get to be angry? I don’t get to burn things? Just, just run around, making tea, when everyone else gets to actually– have– feelings? ELIAS: Please get to the point, Martin.

(MAG122) BASIRA: Anything else? ARCHIVIST: … Water, please. BASIRA: Sure thing. [DOOR OPENS] ARCHIVIST: … Oh, or a–a cup of t– [CLOSES DOOR] ARCHIVIST: … [SIGH] [VERY QUIETLY] Okay…

(MAG137) ARCHIVIST: Everyone else is… running towards something, or running away, and I… [SIGH] I don’t know what I’m doing. [PAUSE] [SIGH] I’m just tired. Think I might go lie down for a while. Get a cup of tea [HUFF]

(Season 5 trailer) MARTIN: I brought you some tea…! ARCHIVIST: No you didn’t. MARTIN: Uh… What? Uh, y–yes I did! [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] ARCHIVIST: We ran out of tea the day before the Change, you… said the little shop in the village didn’t have any more. Ergo… that isn’t tea. MARTIN: What? No, of course it’s tea, I– [SOMETHING THAT IS NOT TEA SCUTTLES AWAY] AH, AH! AH! [THE MUG SHATTERS OF THE FLOOR] MARTIN: OH! Woah…! Oh… Wha… [HIGH-PITCHED] What, but I–, I–I made that, if– I… Wh… I thought it was– ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry, Martin. MARTIN: [PANTS] ARCHIVIST: [WITH AN EDGE] Things don’t work like that anymore…! MARTIN: Like what?! ARCHIVIST: Like normal. This is no longer a world where you can trust…! MARTIN: What, t–tea?! ARCHIVIST: … Comfort.

(MAG162) MARTIN: I, I actually, eh! I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink– ARCHIVIST: [FOND CHUCKLE] MARTIN: I–I realise, we don’t need to eat or – whatever, but, you know, that doesn’t mean that we won’t… ARCHIVIST: Yes – yes, yes…! It’s… alright. Alright.

(Because if the idea is that, okay yeah, things are terrible, and drinking tea won’t help but EH, they can still have nice things if they decide to, yesss.) (If it’s not: serve it to Elias.)

- I still can’t believe how IN LOVE Jon and Martin sounded in their complicity/marvel of each other:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: No, no, lo–look… I, I–I was listening, and I–I was filled with this… hatred. This anger; I–I wanted to leave, and hunt down Elias, a–and…! MARTIN: W–wow, okay… […] ARCHIVIST: Martin… It’s going to be a hard journey. MARTIN: [RELIEVED EXHALE] ARCHIVIST: One– MARTIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah– ARCHIVIST: –in which we… MARTIN: –so, I’ve actually had a couple of bags packed for a while, now! [HEAVY ITEM DROPPED] ARCHIVIST: Oh! MARTIN: And, I found some rope in the attic, and I packed that with the maps. ARCHIVIST: [CHUCKLING] Uh, Martin, I… MARTIN: No, no; I, I know what you’re going to say. [RUMMAGING] “What good are maps when the very Earth has…” and blah blah blah… ARCHIVIST: W– Uh, yes– MARTIN: But I’ve, I’ve packed them anyway because you never know. ARCHIVIST: Martin, I… MARTIN: I, I actually, eh! I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink– ARCHIVIST: [FOND CHUCKLE] MARTIN: I–I realise, we don’t need to eat or – whatever, but, you know, that doesn’t mean that we won’t… ARCHIVIST: Yes – yes, yes…! It’s… alright. Alright. [MOVEMENT] MARTIN: … We’ve got this. [SOUNDS OF PACKING UP AND RUMMAGING] ARCHIVIST: [FOND] Apparently so…! […] We can’t fight the world, Martin. MARTIN: [AMUSED DEFIANT HUFF] Says you. ARCHIVIST: [WITH A SMILE] Let’s go.

Jon wants to murder Elias, and Martin finds it HOT. Martin is competent, was only waiting for Jon as he said, and ready to fight the world, and Jon finds it HOT.

Bonus for arsonist!Martin on the loose:

Martin was quick to understand that the cabin was “feeding” on them, although Jon hadn’t mentioned it (just that it wasn’t right and didn’t want them to leave). So… some of Martin’s studies from season 4 showing off, uh? He’s grown to understand the Fears a bit, I’m really curious about how it will help him/them this season.

MAG163’s title makes me think of Buried, naturally, but mmMMm. Got also reminded of MAG007, which reminded me of “Joseph Rayner” and the fact that Jon mentioned that he wasn’t sure that it had been the Usual Dark!Rayner, in MAG140? Anyway, still expecting to follow Jon&Martin but the title could also work really well if we were to get a peek of how Basira and/or Georgie&Melanie are faring…

#long post/#the magnus archives #tma liveblog #tma season 5 #mag162 #tma spoilers/#that was WEIRDLY HOPEFUL and now next ep in 18 min i'm fear.

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enchantingkittengaditor · 4 years

Text

Born Into This | 02: The Middle Of Starting Over

POV Paddy

“What do you know about what happened a week after your school started? I believe that was the week of the 8th of September. I’m particularly interested in yours and Ms. Barnes ‘study date’ on the 9th and your families’ reactions to you letting her into your home.”

“PATRICK! WHY THE HELL DID YOU INVITE A BARNES INTO OUR HOUSE!” My father yelled at me in his English classroom while Finn watched from the doorway.

“Because we need somewhere to work on the project you gave us. And anyway what does her last name have to do with anything?” I asked him.

“You’re still so naive. Her family is the one that destroyed our home in London. And I thought you could work on it at school or in a public space or at hers, not our home.”

“Why?” Finn asked from the corner of the room.

“So we could have a foothold in her house.”

“I can’t believe this. You promised me and mum that I wasn’t going to be like the other three. I wasn’t going to be a part of all this. I wasn’t meant to join until I was old enough to choose. Everyone agreed at least one of us was meant to have a normal life. I was meant to be normal,” I yelled at my father as Finn locked the class’ door, making sure no one got in to hear this conversation.

“No one in this family is normal Patrick least of all you. You are going to play an important part in the future of this family. You’re going to be the one to put us back on top and not be the minions of some second rate psychopath.”

“Well, this is all well and good but your next class starts in a few minutes and people are wanting to come in,” Finn said from his spot by the door.

“Of course. We’ll discuss this at home Paddy.”

“Actually, we won’t TJ’s coming over so we can do our project. You know the one you assigned us,” I said as we walked out of the door toward our next class.

“A little cold don’t you think,” Finn said as we moved over to our lockers.

“Maybe but it worked didn’t it.”

“Maybe but I have a feeling your study date’s not going to go as you have planned.”

“Maybe not but nothing ever does in that house.”

“You ready?” I asked TJ as I walked up behind her.

“Yup. I just need to grab something from Millie then I’m all good to go,” She said as she quickly shut her locker when she noticed me.

“What are you hiding in your locker?” I asked her.

“I’m hiding books, art supplies and a very embarrassing letter from my twin brother before he… Nevermind,” she said waving to Millie and Sofia behind me.

“Um erro para você,” Sofia said to TJ handing her a bag.

“Now I’m ready to go,” She said smiling at me.

We walked out of the school in silence, getting into my brother’s car. I started talking to Sam while TJ read her book on the car ride to our house out of the city. By the time we pulled into the long driveway, Sam had built up enough courage to talk to TJ.

“I hear you have a twin brother,” He had said to her.

“I had a twin brother. Had being the keyword in that sentence. It was one of the reasons I made the move here with my aunts,” TJ responded with a sad smirk.

“Can I ask what happened to him? I may not know what it’s like without my twin and I can’t imagine what it must be like but sometimes I wish I did,” He told her, looking her in the eye through the rearview mirror.

“He isn’t with us anymore. I’m not convinced he’s truly dead. It feels as though there should be a bigger gap in my heart if he truly was. But it just feels like it did when we were kids and we would go to different schools every day, except we’re further away from each other this time,” She said with a wistful look on her face as if she was trying to figure some big game of chess out, “Sometimes I wish that I could know if he was dead or not, just so I could either find him or his ghost and kill him with my own hands.”

“Well, feel free to do that to Harry anytime you want. I’ll help you make it look like an accident. I have the same emotions toward him as you do your twin.”

“I might take you up on that offer, Sam. But for now, Luisa May Alcott and her Little Women are calling my name and I need a good grade on this if I don’t want to be murdered by my aunt Hayley,” She said smiling at him as we got out of the car.

“Have fun you two and remember, Paddy, keep a door open!” Sam yelled at us as we walked into the house, while he waited for Harry so they could do something I don’t even want to think about.

“Sorry about him and my entire family and friends that live in this house,” I told her as we walked up the stairs to the front door.

“It’s OK. I’m sure my family is 1000% weirder than yours.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Ok. My brothers once decided it would be a good idea to throw toilet paper at my head for an Instagram video,” I told her starting with one of the less weird stories I have from my family.

“My aunts have a metal reinforced bomb shelter that could survive any bomb I’m aware of, in our apartment that they have told me on numerous occasions it’s not used for sex stuff.”

“OK, I’m thinking through all of my stories and none of them match that.”

POV Hayley

“What do you know about what happened the week of the 8th of September?”

“The only thing that I can’t remember that would be at all relevant.”

“Has it disappeared from your memory?”

“It appears it has slipped my mind.”

“So you have a date,” I teased TJ at dinner.

“It’s not a date, it’s a study session for an English project I could do by myself blindfolded in your warehouse. It’s on Little Women, all I really would have to do is ask Emma or Flo and I could get all the answers I would ever need. Or I could just do it myself but it’s a group project,” TJ told me stabbing my salad on my plate.

“It sounds like you have a date,” Lizzie told her.

“And you stole my salad.”

“It’s not a date,” She laughed/defended herself. “And I did.”

“If you say so,” I told her changing the topic, “So how would you feel about helping me on Sebastian’s case? You can annoy the hell out of him till he takes the plea bargain. Or you could trick him into a confession.”

“Aren’t you meant to be proving his innocence?” Lizz asked me.

“Yes, but no jury is going to let him get away with it in today’s society.”

“He was arrested for public intoxication, that’s a slap on the wrist especially with his family,” TJ told me what I already knew.

“He was arrested for public intoxication, attempting to purchase sex, and pimping out college girls. He can get away with public intoxication, maybe depending on his labwork but with his track record and all of this shit he’ll see some prison time. I hope. I feel so sorry for those poor girls he was pimping out,” I told her eating my own dinner.

“How is it that I’m the one who sees this as an uncomfortable dinner time talk? I’m the one that partakes in murder and torture for a living,” Lizzie spoke up refilling her wine glass.

“Maybe because you partake in mob activity and pimps tend to be mob members in this city?” TJ spoke.

“We don’t do that. Like we no longer deal drugs we help them out instead, providing employment and educational opportunities for those who would have no other option but to turn to people like Sebastian and Chris. We don’t play in that game. We try and empower women,” Lizzie said voice rising in anger.

“I’m sorry Liz, I just don’t know that much about all this,” TJ told her.

“So, should we play a game?” I asked trying to ease the tension.

“Sure,” They said in unison.

“How about two rounds of Never Have I Ever?” I asked.

“I’ll win so sure,” TJ said with a smirk.

“If you have you have to take a shot of hot sauce or vodka. I’ll start,” Lizzie said, “Never Have I Ever, worked for the law.”

“Screw you, Elizabeth!” I said as TJ tried to find the hot sauce on the table as I got the shot glasses and took a shot of vodka.

“I had one internship,” TJ said taking her hot sauce shot with pride, “My go, never have I ever shot a man.”

“Not myself, well not with a gun,” Lizzie said as we turned to look at her before she asked, “Do crossbows count?”

“Yes and I want to hear that story,” TJ told her as we both downed Vodka shots.

“Never have I ever had a crush on another member of a mob,” I say handing TJ the hot sauce.

“I haven’t Hayley, I haven’t had a yet crush,” She told me.

We finished our game and turned in for the night all of us doing our own individual tasks. That was until Lizzie came and saw me about TJ.

“I’m worried about her, it’s nearly the one-year anniversary of Robin’s death. I think we should do something about it. Either take her somewhere in memory of him or try to distract her from it,” Lizzie said standing in my doorway.

“Remember at the funeral she said she cherished the memory of going to McDonald’s in time square with him when they were 8 and first came to New York, maybe we could go there with some of her friends,” I told her looking at her through my mirror.

“Who should we invite?” Lizzie asked, “I mean obviously Sofia and Millie, maybe Mia, Emily and Lily?”

“What about her new friend from school? The one she has a school project with?” I suggested.

“Maybe, I’ll have Mr. T look into him, just to make sure there’s nothing too bad hiding in his closet. You can never be too sure with these things,” Liz said, “Maybe you should rethink your stance on Stan.”

“Maybe, you should reconsider Chris’s offer,” I told her.

“OK, so can we agree no more boy talk, lyubit',” Lizzie said to me moving toward me and away from the door.

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked her.

“I’d prefer to not talk and maybe do something else instead,” She smirked.

“Can you two please shut your door! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY OF THIS!” TJ shouted from her room.

“OK!” I shouted getting up to shut the door.

“Can I ask what happened next Ms. Atwell? Or has it disappeared from your memory as well?”

“What happened next is strictly between me and Ms. Olsen, God rest her soul and may it not burn in hell with those monsters that did this to her. But I’m sure you can assume what happened next.”

“I’d like to hear the words come from your mouth.”

“You sound like her, but instead of words she preferred to hear something else from me.”

“That’ll be all for know please Ms. Atwell,” The judge told me.

“But he wanted to know what happened next your honour and that requires a bit of foul language that may make you a bit uncomfortable.”

POV Chris

“What do you know about what happened the week of the 8th of September?”

“Not much admittedly, I was on a bit of a bender. You see I was just dumped by my betrothed thingy that Robert set up years ago to keep the peace when the Holland’s moved to New York. Meant to be a part of a peace treaty me and some other unfortunate soul were meant to marry into the Barnes’ as a show of peace.”

“Did this end with the events that unfolded?”

“No, it didn’t. Enough members survived for a need for the treaty.”

“Except they replaced me with Sebastian.”

“Just tell us your story.”

“Hit me again,” Sebastian told me as we played cards.

“We’re playing go fish Seb,” I told him.

“I know, I meant another beer,” He said.

“Sorry.”

“You seem distracted. What did Robert say?”

“The reason I’m Elizabeth’s liaison is I’m meant to marry her and one of the brothers is meant to marry Jean’s granddaughter. And from the age range, I was given of her it sounds likely that Paddy will be drawn into this life after all. And I’m meant to tell Nikki but she terrifies me.”

“She is a scary woman when it comes to protecting her children, especially Paddy.”

“She thought she could save his soul but very clearly she was wrong. I knew Dominic and Robert were up to no good in all of their meetings.”

“It gets worse. Robert killed the girl’s twin brother with his own hands. She was told he died of cancer which he did have but it didn’t kill him.”

“Robert killed a child with cancer because he thought he was a threat, that’s just cold even for him.”

“What was cold of me?” Robert asked coming into the kitchen taking one of the beers from the fridge to hand to Sebastian and another one for himself.

“We were talking about your plans for me and the Barnes girl.”

“She’s coming over tomorrow, it’s a bit of a study date. Hopefully, they don’t kill each other that would put a damper on my plans,” Robert said to us sitting on one of the stools at the bar.

“Why do your plans involve the love lives of two teenagers, isn’t that a bit weird even for you?” Sebastian asked him.

“Maybe but not here I get to say what’s weird and what’s not. Maybe you’d know the feeling if you stayed in Romania a little longer than you did.”

“OK, that’s enough Robert. It’s too much even for you.”

“You seem to have forgotten your place here Evans. As soon as you are in charge you can change how things are but until then I make the rules and Dominic made that deal to save what was left of his family and their business,” Robert spat at me.

Right, the destruction of the Holland Mafia, the event that lead to Robert becoming one of the most powerful men in the world. The events that took place in 2004. London was in term oil there were fights on the streets between the Holland and the Barnes Families until August when Dominic was losing he decided that instead of lose the little bit of power and control he had left he was going to strike a deal with the Barnes Mafia in an attempt to save his own life and the life of his boys. Though through my conversations with Elizabeth I doubt that anything would have happened to the boys other than they’d have been taken into the family fold and been brought up outside of the mob. He used that power to make a deal his yet to be born child would eventually marry the youngest Barnes. He didn’t tell his wife or his boys. He then used this deal to bargain for his escape to New York where the last few of his men joined with Robert’s giving him more power in exchange for protection.

“Fine but that doesn’t make it OK for this to be happening. Any of this,” I said.

“Maybe but what we do isn’t moral it’s a business based of people doing immoral things and if you can’t handle that I can and will arrange for your early retirement.”

“No thank you, Robert,” I said through gritted teeth while he left the room.

“We should tell the kid. Or Nikki maybe that could be a way around this whole thing,” Seb said once we checked that Robert was out of earshot.

“I’m pretty sure that we should tell the kids and Nikki at the same time, you never know maybe the girl will have the guts to kill Robert or at least hurt him,” I told him.

“If only she would. It would make life much easier for us,” He said looking around, “Now tell me about this Elizabeth character does she seem nice or like she’ll shoot you next time you enter her office?”

“Both if that’s possible. She seems like if I say one wrong thing or make one wrong move I’m going to end up in the Hudson. But I saw her with her I want to say niece the other day in central park and she seemed so calm and sweet.”

“She has a niece?”

“I looked into it and not really the kid refers to Elizabeth as aunt and lives with her but she’s Jean’s granddaughter.”

“So not her sisters’ kid?”

“No, they seem to have disappeared off the grid. They haven’t been spotted in 5 years apparently.”

“How have they managed that in today’s tech-driven world? And how did you get all this beer? Robert doesn’t own the beer trade in New York.”

“I honestly have no clue. And Elizabeth gave it to me as a peace offering for the first day on the job as her liaison, apparently, they’re the ones that managed to get almost all of the alcohol trade in NYC. Tip-off before t-total America.”

POV TJ

“What do you know about what happened the week of the 8th of September?”

“That was an interesting week for sure, we got contacted by two ghosts, I had a study session with Paddy and I nearly shot Tom Holland.”

“You shot a gun?”

“Oh god no I despise the things, I nearly shot him with a bow that I had in my possession for PE class. It wasn’t nearly as bad as it sounds. Yes, I actually hit him but it was his hair that got hurt and his ego but that could take a beating and still be too large.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. That thing was way too big just because Robert thought he should be his next in line.”

“So have you actually read Little Women?” I asked Paddy as I sat on his bedroom floor.

“First, you know you can sit on a chair. Secondly, I am almost done with it,” He said pointing to the chair opposite to him.

“Yes I know I can but I don’t want to. So I’m going to sit here on the floor and start working on the project while you finish reading it,” I told him opening my computer to start working through the list of tasks Paddy’s father had set out for us.

“Cool.”

After about an hour of working in silence, there was a knock on the door, followed by a woman pocking her head through the door.

“Hey, Pads do you and your friend want a snack?” The ginger-haired woman asked.

“Yes?” He said more as a question to me.

“Sure,” I said to her smiling.

“Thanks, Mum,” Paddy said as I turned back to my computer before I heard his voice go from that of a normal teenage boy to one that grew up in a family of mobsters, “What the hell do you want Chris?”

“I wanted to tell you two and your mother something I found out from your father and Robert. Well, actually from Elizabeth but it has to do with Dominic and Robert,” Chris said as I turned towards him.

“Why didn’t aunt Lizzie tell me if she wanted me to know, Christopher?” I spoke.

“Aunt Lizzie?” Paddy asked.

“Probably for your own protection but I don’t care about that. As long as you don’t die I can get away with anything to do with you,” Chris told me looking directly into my eyes.

“You underestimate my aunt, she’ll kill you if you get to close. She’s a sweetheart though,” I told him.

“Hey – Chris,” Paddy’s mum said voice changing instantly.

“Nicola. I have some news for all three of you.”

“Where does you shooting Tom come into this?”

“I’m about to get there.”

“Go ahead.”

After hearing the new Chris had to say Nicola went after her husband and I went in search of Robert Downey Jr. to kill followed by a puppy-like Paddy. I happened to have a bow and some arrows with me from PE which I took with me on this search. I did come across Robert with some of his close associates, mainly Paddy’s oldest brother, Tom.

“What the fucking hell Robert! When you said our families made peace all those years ago I didn’t think it meant with a freaking arranged marriage! That is the cruellest thing you have ever done and I am counting murdering my twin brother because you saw him and me as threats to your family! Well, Downey I’m here to tell you, you’ve just started a war you can’t win because even if you survive, all this won’t, neither will your legacy. Because the truth will come out whether or not you admit it is the truth. See you in hell asshole,” I stated drawing back the string on the bow and aimed at the table and Tom’s hair, meeting my targets before swirling around and walking toward Hayley’s car in the driveway leaving Paddy standing there staring at his brothers.

I overheard him say, “I should go back and finish my homework.”

“I got your bags from Chris. You need to get out of that English class and maybe that school,” Hayley said as I sat in her car and she took off.

“Or you need Jesus, maybe come to church once in a while kid,” Lizzie said through the phone.

“Or maybe I need someone to tell me the fucking truth from all of you,” I said grabbing my headphones and putting my on and staring out the window. Mr. T is the facts person in the mob if you need to find out anything you go to him and he’ll have the answer 24 hours later. He was the one that lead the charge against the Holland’s all those years ago.

When we arrived back home I stormed into the building getting into the elevator, “I’m going to see Mr. T he’s got more answers than either of you. Including one that I asked him to dig up yesterday.”

“Be home soon. It’s no longer safe for you in this city. You’re coming to church on Sunday. It proves your not actually going to hurt Robert at least not yet,” Hayley said.

“OK Hales,” I told her getting out of the Lift on the floor below Hayley.

“Hey, I heard you were coming over. And I got your answers,” Mr. T said as I knocked on the door.

“And apparently a tiger,” I said as I stepped into the apartment.

“Looking after it for a friend. But in answer to your first question. It’s true you’re suspicions were correct. Sadly for your brother and your mother,” He said.

“Sadder for his wife and my genetics. Now, what can you tell me about how to take down the Downey Mafia. I need to destroy them,” I said with what I hoped was the stone-cold look of a killer.

“Happily,” He responded, handing me a drink from his fridge.

POV Sebastian

“What do you know about what happened the week of the 8th of September?”

“Nothing that I’d tell you.”

“Please enlighten us, Mr. Stan, it’ll make this a lot easier for you down the road.”

“Maybe but it’s between me and the people involved not you and the internet. So I’d rather stay silent on the matter.”

“So she tried to shoot you?” I asked Tom.

“No, I think she just missed Robert.”

“Trust me if she wanted to hit you she would’ve. I’ve seen her trophies in Elizabeth’s office. She was just trying to scare you all,” Chris spoke up.

“Well, I hope next time she doesn’t aim to kill because I’d rather go out with a bullet than an arrow,” Tom said grabbing a beer.

“Well, then don’t piss off TJ or her family they tend to do things the old fashioned way,” Chris smiled into his beer.

“That’s interesting. How exactly did you know that?” I asked him.

“I have my ways, Stan. Now Holland what are you going to do about your brother?” Chris asked.

“That comes down to my parents. And I’m on standby in case mum needs a body disposed of.”

“Well, good luck with all that. We have bigger issues,” I said looking at the fridge.

“What? Out of beer?” Tom asked.

“Not quite but the only way we can get more is to ask Elizabeth or go through her and help aid her.”

“Well, before we inevitably go to war with the Barnes family, who are objectively older, wiser and more powerful, let’s get shitfaced and ruin our aim tomorrow!” I said.

“Cheers! Here’s to getting shitfaced by illegal means!” Tom said.

“Dude. Just speak normally.”

“Can I ask if you figured out how they figured out the outlawing of alcohol?”

“Probably, Hayley Atwell, she’s a lawyer at one police plaza and worked in Washington for a bit,” Paddy said grabbing Tom’s beer.

“Rough night?”

“Really your asking that after everything that’s happened today?”

“Fair enough, kid. Why don’t you join us?”

“You let a minor get drunk?”

“After everything you’ve heard today about these events that’s your question? If I let a minor get drunk? Of course, I let a minor get drunk! He just found out he’s betrothed to someone he has a school project with and he just met! Who may or may not be related to the people that killed his family members. And you ask if I let him have a beer?”

“Yes, Mr. Stan that is what I’m asking.”

“Well then. The answer is yes and I’m aware it’s illegal in two forms but I did it anyway.”

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pearlnwade · 4 years

Text

LEMONADE

I have often considered myself beautiful and attractive; but not on days like this. Welcome to the real-world Olly.

I’d always been excited about NYSC because it was my only way out from my father’s house. I’ll have the opportunity to move to a different state—far from Lagos —and gain a great level of independence. Really, that was all I wanted, and at the beginning, it seemed like a perfect plan.

On the 8th of January 2019, at about 7am, I got what was long coming—the official end of my already dead relationship. If I’m being honest, I’d seen it coming from a mile away. So when it finally happened, I didn’t even know how to react. There was just complete uncertainty and it literally sent chills down my spine. The 8th of January was also the day I was leaving for Abuja, to start my NYSC —the next and exciting chapter in my life. Sadly, the dream of going through this phase of life with a partner to share it all with, was now nothing but shards of a beautiful glass. I got on a plane to Abuja that evening and convinced myself that I was going to be alright, I’m a strong woman after all. But honestly, I wasn’t even close to it. And one thing I was sure of is: no matter how much you try to hide your feelings and lie to everyone that you are okay, YOU JUST CAN’T LIE TO YOURSELF.

The 9th of January 2019 was initially dedicated to rounding up my NYSC registration, but everything took a wrong turn when my phone got stolen. I rushed to the Airtel office to get my sim disabled, but they said that they couldn’t do it unless I swore an affidavit. Can things just get any worse? Yes, it just began.

On the 10th of January 2019, I went to the court to get a sworn affidavit. Before going there, I withdrew 3k, just in case I need to pay for whatever was required. But little did I know it was a wrong move. After I got my affidavit, I followed my friend to Jos — I had planned to do this for a while—I needed somewhere to cool off. You know, blow off some steam. I love Jos for one particular reason: cheap and beautiful nails! It's crazy how affordable it is compared to other parts of Nigeria and I really wanted to do my nail. Like I said, blowing off some steam.

The next morning, I arrived at the salon and of course, I picked the best style. I had N2,200 with me, and the total of my nails cost N2,400. So, I told the nail artist that I had only N2,200 cash that I didn’t want to spend my entire cash at hand. I also made her understand that I’d have transferred to her, but I couldn’t send money because I had no phone. To ease her worry, I told her to hold on to my purse and N2,000 of the total amount I had; I was going to get a keke ride to the ATM to withdraw some cash. When I got to the ATM, I made the request to be dispensed N3,000 and the response was “insufficient funds”. I was confused. I made a second request for N1,000 and it said the same thing. Now, in the midst of strangers I was about to just lose it. I decided to check the total of what was in my account and I saw N4. Wait what! Four naira? It’s a joke right? Everything I felt that day is like a scar in my skin right now, because as I type these words, I feel the rush all over. Anyway, I put myself together and went home. Basically, I had no relationship, no phone and no money—all within 3 days. Wondering if I didn’t pay for those nails? Well, thankfully, I did. My friend helped me pay the rest for the nails. God bless you Emily. My trip back to Abuja that Sunday was a reflective one. And the worst part was I felt that I deserved every single thing that happened to me. Did I?

I indulged in a couple of dates afterwards: to remind or convince myself that I could still be desired by men; anything to find value in an empty space. I was broken, but tried my best to keep working— it’s how I have been programmed to act, since I was a girl. On days like this, I didn’t feel beautiful. I felt stuck, like there was a bottomless pit of lacking that I desperately wanted to fill. I didn’t feel smart and I didn’t trust anyone.

My ex came to Abuja, (we had reconnected a couple weeks before he arrived) so I had my hopes up that things were going to get a lot better. But it didn't. Infact, I had never felt that disrespected in my life, I felt so little and helpless. “Certain things happen for things to get better”- Olly. Hold on to that quote because I sure didn’t. I know that if I did, my emotions would have been more defined to make me stronger not to break me down.

“It’s time to move out of (my ex’s friend’s) house” my ex told me before he left for Lagos. To avoid further humiliations and belittling, and to keep my boss babe rep, I told him that I had a place to stay. But I didn’t. I had no single idea where I was going to stay. That Sunday when he left, I decided that I was going to call a couple people and if push comes to shove, I will rent my own place. The push came to shove and I started pulling funds—from my parents and my brother really. I raised enough money just for the house rent. The cost of ordinary foam to sleep on was yet unaffordable. I was so sad, continuously asking myself if coming to Abuja was the best option for me.

On a special Wednesday, I had to leave the house that I was staying in, after having packed all my things in less than 15 minutes. By exactly 9:56pm, I entered my cab with my luggage, on the move in the middle of the night looking for where I could rest my head. Now, I had a couple options, unfortunately, 99% of them wanted to sleep with me, but my 1% was Diamond. She did a lot for me throughout my early stay in Abuja. She was my go-to girl and of course she had my back on days like this. I stayed with her for about five days but had to leave. I had already spent more than N30,000 in search for a house and I still did not have one. I was frustrated and desperate to find a house and I did. You know that phrase “do not make any decision when you are desperate’, I didn’t follow it. I paid for a bad house that I would have spent more than N200,000 to renovate before even buying my bed. I lost N40,000, and because I was losing so much money and wanted a way out, I lost an additional N120,000. At this point, I still didn’t have a house. What is my next step? I thought. I felt no love and zero trust in anyone. Like no one!

MY LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

People always use the phrase “though trouble lasts all night, joy comes in the morning”. I got a phone call on a very special Sunday night. It was my mum telling me that it only gets better, and I am to move into Justice’s house. What?! For real? Everything since then has been sweet and smooth. The end is pretty amazing. I am still looking for the guy that’ll sweep me off my feet, make me feel safe and loved. I am quite happy; and for the first time in a long time, things are finally working out for me. I am still healing, I mean, it takes time, but I am healing. There are parts of this story that weren't typed in this article, but if you ask me out and buy me a drink after this lockdown, I might consider telling you the juicy, intimate details.

I went through most of this without Jesus; I always forget that He is a constant. He was meant to be my constant not anyone else.

Cheers to happiness.

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davidmalik99 · 4 years

Text

My short story of life

Hello anyone who reads this. I don't hide behind writer names or with names that i just came up on the spot, I'm David Malik who was born on 9th of May 1999. My life just started when I almost died because of choking on food and how my mom saved me by sliding her hand down my throat to prevent the dying. Or after a year or two when I overdoesed on pills because I thought it was candy but I never ate medicin because I just couldn't eat them. If she doesn't get home in time I would've died there again. I remember after I was discharged from hospital I felt the aftereffects on my body for about a week. I was high i can tell that. After a few years I sarted kindergarden and I was put in dormitory of the age 5-6. I was at home only on the weekends, holidays and when i was sick or pretended to be sick for the following 13 years, which means until I turned 19 years old. At the time while I was in kindergarden nothing really happened only when i was accidentaly kicked in the nose and it started bleeding but it was okay because i didn't feel it or just because it was my best friend in the time. After I started elementary school I never saw her again but she might have the best life of hers. So when I started school nothing extraordinary happened until we reached 4th grade when the bullying started. I don't know why but I appearantely can't have friends whom are only girls so I was labeled the gay guy. I didn't really care at the time because we were just kids, but how time passed and we reached 8th grade i just couldn't comperhand the pressure so I just snapped on the guy who couldn't stop to pick on me. Yeah the timid little guys pushes the bully on the locker room door by the throat. Right? crazy I had the strength. Anyways, after that they stopped and well I guess you found out I am not the straightest of them all. but a little back when I finished 3rd grade I was in hospital to get my heart surgery which sadly was succesfull. Now you know what went trough elementary school being bullied and depressed at the age of 10 and on top of that only being home at certain dates. And here we come, high school the dread I had when I was about to start my 2nd 'chance' to be bullied. Being closed up because of trust issues, anxiety, associated and just the fear of being judged. But everything was SO different there. No bullying not judging on a big scale and not only having girl friends. A big difference for me for that to have guy friends. But the homophobia for myself and being outed or just to out myself were the biggest fears. So yeah I started to have a different personality for school and dormitory and when I was home. Nobody knew that but me and it was nice until it wasn't just me. Still I had no courage to be myself to put myself first because I put everyone before me and be happy for them be the goofy friend be the friend that listens to you and don1t judge gives advices even if nobody listens to me not that I cared on that point anymore. I just kind of gave up being happy on the inside and put up a front in front of everybody so they don1t get suspicious. And it was maybe the first two years of high school for me. :D When we started junior year the guys, to be more specific 3 guys were the type of guys that were touching each other like bros but when it came to me it felt so wrong like they tried to get more they came in my personal space which became so uncomfortable that I could only react with laugh that they thought it was maybe funny or something but even when there were times i told them to just stop because it's not funny anymore. It was for them so they just continued. It might came off like I didn't resist but I COULDN'T I was weaker than them. I had no power I was no one but a a person they can goof around. I just put on a mask that was more stronger so nobody could see what I was going through and it showed. Nobody really cared about me. If you want to say my mom or siblings did no they didn't. What do I mean about that? Sure I can explain. My mum didn't let me go to school where I wanted to go because I couldn't go to a different city so I couldn't do arts. It's fine there were other options where I was planning to go. Like to be a sheff or be baker a waiter or to go to acting because I loved it. No you will go to a class where you will learn how to be a police officer what you don't want to be at all. You want to go to friends on the weekends when you want to maybe a few time in a year? No you won't. You want to go to skating with school? No you won't. But when you ask those questions in senior year I will ask why didn't you? Why did you studied it then? Why didn't you go? When did I say no? Why can1t you be like your siblings Why can't you be more outgoing? But after graduation you will have your summer to think what you want to do in your life. So I went to 1 more year to school so I can have time to think. It was worse. I got more depressed and came the many mental illnesses and their friends. How fun right? And after a year I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have no motivation. I have no goals to reach. No achievements I want to get. Nothing. All I wanted to be cared of to be found to be loved. Oh yeah Being loved what a funny phrase. I don’t let people to get close to me. Even the best friend sand friends I have I didn't really care about. like I know I'm just a burden, a dead eight that pulls them down like an anker. i just want them to let go off me. I'M no good for them or for anyone. I watch how people start to have families have relationships how they get more perfect how I'm just there in the starting lines and they are ahead of me with 100 laps and I couldn't even start. I'm a child locked up in an adult body. I can't express my emotions. I can't show them. I can1t speak my mind. I have nothing. My grandmother even tells me how I'm a dissappointment, how I'm worth nothing and how I will gain nothing. Like I knew she hated me because I'm not form the same father like the 2 others but damn you don1t have to go off like that. Like I'M just an eyesore that you don1t want in you life. Oh yeah and I'm only 21. a twenty-one years old boy-man-guy who is most definitely not straight and has problems for himself. someone who is always thinking about ending it. imagining it many ways like a knife in the stomach, pills, cutting, anything . I'M just so tired of putting up a fce to be someone who I'm not and i will never be. I can't even remember how I was before everything. I just can't. But if I try to get something off my mind and tell it o my mom I get the same answer and it is 'You don't think like that because you're young, you can’t have thought like those, you didn’t even live yet.' and so many almost the same kind of answers. but yes I'm fine if someone asks.

#life #lgbtq+#depression #trend #das #sad #happy

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all-the-love-harold · 5 years

Text

Chapter 17 - Oliver Edward Styles

Master post

Come and Talk about Harry and Poppy

*Smut*

September 30th, 2017- 25 Weeks

Autumn had well and truly hit London. The warm summer days had been replaced by brisk mornings and cold afternoons, and Poppy was enjoying the cold nights snuggled up in bed, even if Harry wasn’t there to snuggle with her. He’d been gone for two weeks now and she was really starting to miss having him around, but she made a point of Facetiming him every night before she went to bed, which for him, was usually just after soundcheck before he had to start getting ready for the show.

Poppy had been really enjoying having her mum stay with her while Harry was away, but there was a reason she had moved to the other side of the world the first chance that she got, and she was starting to remember what that was. Her mother, while she was the most wonderful woman in the world, had a tendency to coddle her, and she was starting to feel a little suffocated by her constant checking in. .

“I’m going upstairs to call Harry” Poppy said to her, standing up from the couch where they’d been sitting watching a movie, hands remaining on her belly

“Why don’t you stay down here and call him dear”

Poppy rolled her eyes, feeling like a teenager again “I’m tired mum, I’m going to make a cup of tea, call Harry, and go to bed, why do I need to stay here?”

“Alright fine” she sighed “sing out if you need anything”

“Thanks mum” she walked into the kitchen, and put the kettle on and while she waited for it to boil she sent Harry a text “Facetime ready?”

“Always, my dear” he replied straight away, and she made her way upstairs, hot cup of tea in her hand and once she’d made herself comfortable in bed, she got her laptop out and made the call.

“Hiya!” he answered, a huge smile on his face “How’s my wife tonight”

“Tired” she sighed “but good, how’s my husband?”

“Also tired, I could use a nap before this show tonight, how’s the little prince?”

“Kicking like mad right now” Poppy laughed “must be able to hear you”

He smiled, resting his head on the cushion behind him “I can’t wait to meet him”

“Speaking of” she stroked her belly “He needs a name H”

“Harry” he laughed and she gave him a blank look, before rolling her eyes “Alright, not Harry then”

“I’m serious Harry! Babies like him can be born anywhere from 23 weeks onwards, he could come any time now and he needs a name”

“Alight love, don’t stress, we’ll think of a name” he said in a soothing tone “but we know he’s not coming that early”

“Anything could happen, I just want to be prepared” she sighed

“Alright, how about…” he scrunched his nose while he thought “Ryan?”

“I went to school with a Ryan, he was a dick”

He nodded “your turn then”

“I’ve always liked Charlie”

“Charlie’s good” he nodded “But it’s a little boring, what about Elliot?”

“I like Eli for short, but I think it’s quite popular at the moment and I don’t want him to have the same name as everyone in his class” Poppy said, a little disappointed because she did really like the name.

“Me either, alright, what about Daniel?”

“Harold.” she said bluntly

“What?!”

“What’s his father’s name?”

“Oh right” he said, smile falling from his face “Let’s not call him Daniel then”

“Good idea” she smiled sarcastically

They both sat in silence for a moment, thinking of names for their baby boy.

“What about Oliver?” Harry said

“Oliver Styles” Poppy nodded “I like that”

“I like it too” he smiled “Little Oli, yeah, I can see that”

“Did we just name our son?” she asked, a smile spreading across her face

“I think we did” he smiled, and she heard some bustling in the background as Jeff walked into shot

“Oh hi Jeffery” Poppy said

“Hi Pop, how’s that bun baking?”

She giggled “He’s about half baked right now”

Harry laughed, and Jeff smiled at her before turning to Harry “The crew and the venue security want to go through the curtain drop one last time before doors open so they need you on stage in five”

“No worries” he said to Jeff and turned back to Poppy “Sorry love, looks like I’ll have to go in a minute”

“That’s alright” she yawned “me and little Oli are tired anyway”

A smile spread across his face and he flashed his dimple at her “Well, you and Oli better get some sleep, I’ll call you again tomorrow”

“Love you H” she said, blowing him a kiss

He laughed and pretended to catch the kiss and put it in his pocket “I love you too”

“Don’t forget to send me a photo of tonight’s suit before you go on stage”

“I wouldn’t dream of it love” he giggled “Tell Oli I love him”

“Byeeeee Harry” she smiled hanging up the call, knowing that if she didn’t do it now she’d still be on the call when he needed to be doing things. She plugged her laptop in to charge and took her cup downstairs and loaded it into the dishwasher, buzzing about having just named her son.

“What are you smiling about?” your mum asked, walking into the kitchen, loading her own tea cup into the dishwasher

“Nothin’” she lied, wanting to keep the name between herself and Harry until he was born “Harry just makes me smile”

***

October 20th, 2017 – 28 Weeks

Poppy was sat in the waiting room of her midwife’s office, Harry asleep on her shoulder, jetlagged after returning from America only a few days ago. He was set to leave for Europe in a few days, so she had to squeeze in her next appointment while he was home. herr last scan had gone well, Oliver was still small, but he was growing at a good rate, which meant that there was nothing to worry about. Today’s appointment was about the birth, and to say she were nervous was an understatement.

“Poppy” she was called by a nurse she was unfamiliar with, and turned to Harry to wake him up

“H” she whispered as he stirred “H, it’s our turn- we can nap when we get home”

“I’m up” he sighed as he opened his eyes and stood up. They were both lead into a room they’d not been in before, filled with birthing balls and yoga matts with a large sofa in the middle.

“You guys take a seat on the couch, I’ll be back in just a minute” the nurse said as she showed them into the room.

“I might just nap here” Harry yawned as he sat down

“Don’t you dare”

“I’m kidding love” he giggled, placing a kiss on her forehead “I know you’re nervous about this”

She rested her head on his shoulder “I know we’re only talking about it today, but it all feels so real now- like this kid has to come out soon”

“At least you don’t have to push him out” he said as the nurse walked back in holding a tray of tea and biscuits.

“Alright” she said placing the tray down on the coffee table “Mr and Mrs Styles, I’m Annette, I’m a labour and delivery nurse” she held her hand out and they both shook it “Can I get you a cuppa, while we talk?”

“Please” Poppy said, smiling at her

“Great” she poured the tea into two cups “Milk?”

“Not for me” Harry said, moving his hand onto Poppy’s leg for comfort

Annette handed them both their teas and sat down on the sofa opposite them “So today we’re going to make a birth plan for you” she smiled “we don’t usually do this until 30 weeks, but because your little one is likely to arrive early, it’s best to be prepared.”

Poppy smiled taking a sip of her tea “I agree, so how do we make a birth plan” she nervously laughed

“Well, in your case, there are two ways this could go, so we’re going to plan for both of them – dad, I’m assuming you’re going to be at the birth?”

Harry winced, hoping that this wouldn’t come up “Potentially” he said, trying to make himself sound better

She looked at him quizzically “What does that mean”

“He’s away for work until December 9th, so if the baby comes early he won’t be here” Poppy chimed in, saving Harry from embarrassment

“Ok” she sighed “let’s go through what’s going to happen if he comes on time then. You’ll be having a C-section regardless, with your condition I wouldn’t be game to risk a natural birth, it wouldn’t be safe for you or the baby”

“That’s fine by me” Poppy laughed

“So if you go into labour naturally, which unfortunately isn’t likely, you’ll need to go straight into the hospital and you’ll be taken into theatre from there, Dr Miller will be delivering your son and I’ll be your nurse, so you’ll have some familiar faces if Dad isn’t there” she glared at Harry “Once you’re in theatre, the anaesthesiologist will come in and give you an epidural, so that you can’t feel anything in the lower half of your body, but you’ll be awake to see the birth of your son- everything ok so far?”

“Yeah” Poppy nodded, feeling Harry’s grip on her leg tighten

“Great, well now we get onto the planning, assuming everything goes to plan, you’ll be giving birth on December 15th, with Dad present” she nodded at Harry, still grimacing at him “When you’re in theatre you have a few choices of how the birth can happen, first is if you’d like a clear plastic screen so that you can see the birth, or a solid fabric one that can be lowered if you change your mind?”

Poppy looked to Harry, unsure of what she wanted because until now, it wasn’t something that had even crossed her mind, he nodded at her encouragingly, not wanting to influence her decision too much, “I think I’d like the clear plastic”

“Ok” Annette nodded “I’ll make note of that here, and if you change your mind in the meantime, just let someone know at your next appointment and we can change it”

“Great” she smiled

“Secondly, would you like skin to skin contact immediately after the birth?”

“Yes” she said without hesitation this time

“Good” she smiled “given that he’s healthy and doesn’t require any medical attention, I’ll make sure that happens- finally, and this may not be something that you’ve thought about yet, so we can talk about it at our next appointment if you haven’t, but it’s important that we know before the birth- are you planning on breastfeeding?”

“Of course” Poppy said

“Great, I’ll make sure there’s a lactation consultant on standby to help you out with that after the birth- any questions?”

“No I think we’re all good” Poppy turned to harry and he nodded

“Alright, well that’s about all the planning we can do for now, we’ll have one more consultation at 32 weeks and after that I’ll see you in the delivery room”

“Sounds good” Harry stood and offered Poppy his hand to help her up and they both walked out of the room and thanked Annette for all her help before making her way out of the offices and back to Harry’s car.

“I don’t think she liked me” Harry said as he put the keys in the ignition

“She certainly wasn’t impressed with you being away for work” Poppy giggled, stroking the side of his face, along his jawline “I don’t mind though because Oli and I had a little chat the other night”

“Did ya?” he raised his eyebrows

“He promised that he’d stay in there, so he can meet his daddy when he’s born and so that mummy doesn’t freak out in there by herself”

“That was good of him” he kissed her hand, keeping his eyes on the road “I’ll be there Poppy, even if I have to fly half way across the world”

***

October 30th 2017 – 29 Weeks

“LONDON!” Harry shouted into his mic “How are you?!” the crowd cheered loudly and Poppy felt the flutters in her belly go wild. She was stood next to Gemma and Michal at the edge of the pit, where he could see her, for Harry’s second London show.

“I’ve lived here for about seven years now, and I’d just like to say thank you for having me, I’m uh, very aware that I only have 10 songs so you being here tonight means a lot, thank you so much. It’s nice to look out into the crowd and see so many familiar faces” he pulled the mic off its stand and walked to the side of the stage so that he was standing directly in front of you “Like my wife, she’s here tonight, uh, heavily pregnant and she’s in the mosh pit dancing like a crazy person”

Poppy’s cheeks were turning bright red and while she wanted to be mad at him she couldn’t help but smile right back at him.

“I’ll tell you what, there’s a reason I married her” he giggled and winked at her as he made his way back to the mic stand “everyone give it up for Poppy”

The crowd went wild and a few fans that were close to her squished towards her trying to get closer to say hello. Michal saw that she was getting crowded and grabbed her hand, helping her move over to the other side of him, which only made the fans behind her move forward.

Harry reached his mic stand and saw that she was struggling “Everyone good over there?” he pointed towards her “Poppy you good? Need anything?”

“Space” she yelled back loud enough so that he could hear

“Alright, could everyone over there just take a step back and chill out for a second.” That only made it worse and she was starting to feel claustrophobic and short of breath

“Actually you know what?” Harry said, hooking his mic in place and walking away from the stand towards where she was. He leant down and spoke to the security guard who asked the crowd to make a passageway before Harry hopped down off the stage. The guard stayed close to him, not letting the fans even put a finger on him as he made his way towards her.

“What are you doing?” she asked as he got close enough to hear her “are you mad?”

“probably” he laughed holding out his hand “You’re coming up there with me”

“Absolutely not” she laughed as the crowd around her lost their minds at how close Harry was to them

“It’s safer up there” he said sternly “and your favourite song is next”

She rolled her eyes and took his hand, knowing that he wasn’t going to give up until she was up on that stage with him. On his way back through the parted crowd, Harry high fived a few fans and said hello to everyone in his path, signing a phone case or two for those prepared enough to have a pen with them. He lead Poppy to the side of the stage where she could both climb the stairs and make her way onto the stage, helping her up onto the raised platform in front of Sarah and the drums Harry handed her his bottle of water “You good?” he asked

“Thanks for saving me Styles” she smiled and gently kissed his forehead as the crowd went wild in front of them

“Got you the best seat in the house too” he smiled and turned back towards his mic “alright, now that’s sorted” the crowd cheered loudly again “should we sing some songs?”

“KIWI KIWI KIWI KIWI KIWI”

He turned and winked Poppy “If you keep chanting, for a few more minutes, I might just do it”

“KIWI KIWI KIWI KIWI KIWI” he stepped back from the mic, using his hands to encourage the crowd to keep cheering while he checked that the band were ready to go.

“She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes…..” he sang and Poppy sat behind him dancing away, not worried that everyone could see her because she knew that he was about to start dancing like an idiot too.

“"I'm having your baby..” he turned around and held the mic up to Poppy, encouraging her to sing the next line

Hating him, she obliged yelling “IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS” into the mic and laughing as he helped her down from her seat to sing the rest of the song with him. He sang the remaining verse but left the chorus up to Poppy and she was surprised by how therapeutic singing “I’m Having your baby, it’s none of your business” to a room full of people and having them sing it back to her was.

***

The second the show ended, and Poppy found herself backstage with Harry, the band and all the crew, she took him by the hand and lead him to his dressing room, locking the door behind them.

“What’s going on love?” he asked her, sounding a little concerned

She smirked at him as she began unbuttoning her blouse “I need you Harry” she said, sounding almost desperate.

“Is that right?” he giggled, taking his suit jacket off and throwing it over the arm of the couch “Come ‘ere then” he sat down on the couch and grabbed her hand pulling her down with him. Her shirt was completely unbuttoned now, and as she straddled his lap he began kissing up and down her torso, focusing on the swells of her breasts that bulged out of her bra. Eventually he unhooked it and gently caressed over her nipples with the tips of his fingers, knowing that they were extra sensitive right now. She threw her shirt off and helped Harry get his off too and he gently laid her down next to him, removing her shoes and then her jeans, revealing a pair of pink lacy panties.

“are these new?” he asked smirking and playing with the fabric over her centre

“Maybe” she moaned at gentleness of his touch

“It’s a shame you’ve made them so wet” he said pulling them down and tossing them to the side. He rubbed his fingers over her folds and brought them up to his lips “I’ve missed your taste” he said, voice low and full of lust.

“Harry” she whined, desperate to have him inside her

He smirked at her again and unbuttoned his trousers, revealing his already throbbing cock, “If I wasn’t so desperate to have you, I would’ve had a lot more fun teasing you” he said, lining his cock up with her entrance.

“That’s not going to work H” she smiled

“What the teasing?”

“No, that” she pointed to his cock as he hovered over her struggled to line it up with her centre because of the bump.

“Right” he giggled “Roll over then.”

She obliged and rolled over, placing a cushion under her belly, exposing her bare ass to Harry who was smirking behind her. This had never been a favourite position of hers but right now, it was all that worked.

He lined himself up and pushed her hair to one side, “You ready” he whispered in her ear, sending shivers down her spine. She nodded as she felt him push into her, causing her to let out a loud moan.

“Shh” he whispered “Doors aren’t sound proof love”

This was the first time since Harry had come home that Poppy had felt the need to have him like this and within minutes she was ready to come undone around him.

“Harry I…” that was all she could manage before the waves of pleasure hit her, causing her yell out his name as his covered her mouth with his hand trying to dull the sound so that everyone around them couldn’t hear.

“Shhh, that’s it love, quiet now, fuck you feel so good” the feel of her orgasm pulsating around him brought about his own and soon she felt his seed spilling inside her as he groaned above her.

When he was finished, he pulled out, and sat next to her, helping her sit up. Poppy leant her head on his shoulder as his wrapped his arm around her. They sat there for a while basking in the afterglow of their pleasure, catching their breath, enjoying the intimacy of each other’s naked bodies.

“Watching you on stage has always turned me on”

“I know” he chuckled “You’ve never hidden it well”

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