#serious answer I think it was like... a combination of family stuff I don't want to get into + The Anger + the fact that certain parts of it

[werewolfetone]

What got you so interested in Irish History?

The siren call of eighteenth century pamphlet drama you could not even imagine

#serious answer I think it was like... a combination of family stuff I don't want to get into + The Anger + the fact that certain parts of it #are relatively poorly understood by the average person and so I rlly enjoy learning about it and then telling other people about it #also like. it's fascinating. although many parts of it are utterly horrifying ireland has a very rich and -- outside of #ireland itself -- relatively underappreciated history that holds my attention because of how interesting I find it. idk #asks #anon #jory.txt

[azerothtravel]

What are your favourite questing zones? Even the stuff that’s been removed by now

That's a tough question! I had to think about it for a while since there's so much to sift through. I'll do one from each expansion just 'cuz this is gonna be long enough. I think overall...

Western Plaguelands (Vanilla version). Gathering the Scourge Stones for the Argent Dawn. Meeting Chromie for the first time. The big fight with the lich. Having to be so strategic getting to and away from those cauldrons. Fordring family drama. Most of vanilla had this really nice feel of just wandering around getting into trouble, but WP had a like "now it's serious" vibe that was really fun.

Netherstorm. Man, I loved Netherstorm. The biospheres, the cursed Kirin Tor village, Socrethar, the netherdrake area, the BE's mana pumps, the whole place felt like the wildest thing that had ever been in WoW to that point. Dr. Boom! All that crazy stuff up on the north with the Consortium. It was a ride.

Borean Tundra. It's really hard to pick from Wrath, but I just loved the intro experience. Investigating the destroyed Horde camp, meeting the tuskarr, that gnomish airfield, using tanks for the first time, the assault on the necropolis, and of course Saurfang's big hero turn in that one quest. So much cool stuff. A great way to get an expac started.

Twilight Highlands. The world PVP elements really stick out to me from this zone. I spent so much time in the dwarf vs. orc conflict. But also founding the Horde base there, the Krazzworks was absurd, getting our first gross look at the Old Gods stuff that was coming in the final raid, the Gob Squad, Alextrasza Vs. Deathwing... It was a cool zone.

The Dread Wastes. I loved leveling in Pandaria so much. It felt like a return to the wandering adventurer vibe of vanilla, now with stronger storylines. But the entire Klaxxi storyline was such a weird surprise. That zone was so bizarre, so unexpected. Waking the Paragons, finding that fishing village, my big homie Kovok... I had a lot of fun in that crazy place. Naturally they betrayed me, but what else could I expect?

Frostfire Ridge. Kind of similar to Borean Tundra, I guess, just a very memorable intro experience. Starting your garrison, meeting Thrall's family, and all the drama therein. The first time you assault Bladespire Fortress, seeing Thrall unleash the elements, climbing that chain... That was fun. And despite the results on this list so far, I've always really, really loved snowy zones, so there's that too. Also: I spent hours and hours and hours in vanilla climbing every mountain I could, just to see what was up there. The answer was almost always "nothing." But WoD, and Frostfire more specifically, was the first time they started hiding cool items and little events in random spots for me to go find while exploring. Finally, a reward for my wandering! So that really sticks out, too.

Suramar. This may be controversial, but Legion is my least favorite expansion. Gameplay-wise, it was great, don't get me wrong. Artifact weapons were cool and all. But it had a combination of the most absurd, lazy retcons they have literally ever done (How are have all these civilizations been living on these islands for 10000 years if Gul'dan raised them from the bottom of the sea 30 years ago?????) and some really annoying zones. Val'sharah is my all-time least favorite zone, I felt like I constantly got lost or couldn't get where I wanted to go from where I was. But then came Suramar. The Nightbourne are stupid, literally the exact same thing as the blood elves ("Oh, no, we're another race of arcane loving elves with a well of power who're addicted to magic and whose once-noble leader has thrown in with the Burning Legion, totally different!"), but damn if I didn't get totally absorbed in the revolution storyline in the city. Helping Thalyssera recover, finding like-minded people, basically spending the whole zone doing espionage and terrorism against a corrupt government in what was, at that point, the most expansive city in the game... It was fun, I can't lie. That daily challenge with the lil withered army. The masquerade. The winery. The zoo part??? It was a really different experience.

Zuldazar. Leveling sure was weird in BfA, huh? Each side getting 3 zones and all. And, like, despite my obvious Horde preference, I feel like the Alliance got the cooler ones (Stormsong Valley and Drustvar in particular). On the Horde side, tho, Zuldazar was pretty good. Finally, a look at a troll civilization still at full power, lush environments, dinosaurs, conspiracies, creepy temples, it had a lot going for it, and was really pretty, too.

Maldraxxus. Gotta give it up for my hometown, baybeeeee! I was not excited to choose the Necrolords in Shadowlands. They just didn't seem as interesting as the others, and I've never had much affinity for the undead, and they kinda looked like just the undead place. But the whole lore kit of them being the army of the afterlife, and me being a warrior and all, and then I find out Draka's there, and I'm an orc? No choice. But imagine my surprise when Necrolord turns out the be the absolute most fun Convenant, no question, and their zone turns out to be full of weird, wild experiences, a really compelling storyline, and the most lore characters per capita of any zone (Mograine! Lady Vashj! Mankrik's wife!!). I had a great time running around that zone for not just the leveling experience, but the whole expansion.

Azure Span. Maybe too early to call, but Dragonflight has no zones I don't like. This is unheard of in the history of WoW. I think I like Ohn'ahran Plains the least, but I like all of 'em! But I think Azure Span wins. For one thing, snowy zones. For another thing, the glorious return of the tuskarr, who I have loved since Wrath and badly wish was a playable race (Gormorash has only had "of Iskarra" as his title since I got it. Come back for soup!). Plus, a bit of justice for Sindragosa, Kalec's storyline in the zone is remarkably touching, the Kirin Tor stuff is weird and frequently funny, the Rannan and Lathos storyline hits pretty hard... Even surrounded by really memorable zones, it feels the most memorable.

Well, I guess that's my very long answer! I hope it was interesting! Honestly, it coulda been like twice as long, there's so many zones that I think of fondly, but this seems like plenty. Thanks for asking!

#wow #world of warcraft #asks

[horrorshow]

hi suzy, happy wincest wednesday :) I know we share a love of protective!Sam -- when do you think that started happening in their lives? Did Sam have to get taller first, lol, or was it some story/life event that precipitated little brother starting to watch out for big brother?

happy ww liz!

i don't think sam's height has anything to do with it actually! i don't think sam thought of himself as stronger or more capable than dean at all. as a kid, sam always looked up at dean, and sam never fully grew out of seeing dean as a hero, so, it's not about that.

easy answer is of course that john trained them from a very young age to never trust anyone but each other. so due to the way they lived and the amount of danger they encountered on a daily basis, sam has always been more protective of dean than other siblings would be. and dean was very protective of him, while sam tried to be just like his big brother, so he wouldn't hesitate to protect dean in turn.

but besides that, i think sam's protectiveness of dean specifically developed hand in hand with his rebellion against john and hunting. and i imagine that started when sam was old enough to stay home alone, while john took dean 'away from him' on hunts.

i can't imagine how horrible it must have been for sam, as a kid, to be all alone in a motel room, waiting for his only family to return, not knowing IF they'd even return, being fully aware of the danger they were in, how often he must have waited impatiently for the promised 'we're okay' phonecall that wasn't on time, or dean and john returning hours or days later than planned, not in one piece, sam running to get the first aid kit, wounds, broken bones, stitches, bruises, all kinds of injuries, dean either too hyper or too quiet or completely out of it, but never truly the dean sam knew. anyone who has ever been worried about a sibling like that, or saw a sibling in serious pain knows that stuff stays with you. it's horrible. and when that person is the only long term relationship you have outside of your dad... there's so much to lose.

i have one very specific mental image of sam coming home from school in the middle of the afternoon, to a bruised and bloodied dean - just back from a long hunt - in dirty clothes asleep on the couch, looking hurt and exhausted and vulnerable, with sam staring at him, at first VERY relieved that he's home safe, but that fast making place for an anger on how UNFAIR and wrong it all is, how NONE of this is normal, combined with sam's constant uncertainty and anxiety and fear, suddenly wishing fiercely for a normal life where he and dean are both safe at school instead of having to deal with any of this, i think sam felt FURIOUS in that moment and that it shocked him how much anger he could feel towards hunting and his dad for doing this to them.

basically, sam tried to win dean back from john. not because sam thought dean was incapable of looking out for himself, but because dean belonged with sam. because sam would love him better. because with john there was always the threat of danger. so... his protective streak started as a bit naive and selfish, but i'm 100% convinced that it came from a place of love bc he was aware of how messed up their lives were, and bc he cared for dean and wanted him to be safe.

(and of course, it was never simply just about that. sam felt lonely and an outsider in his own family and he missed how close he and dean used to be. and a part of him tried to embrace hunting the same way dean did, but finding himself unable to, and a part of him was jealous of dean's special bond with john, making him feel even more cut off. his feelings for dean and his dad were always complicated)

i think sam always hoped, and even expected, that dean would eventually see the light and join his side. that dean would stop seeing him as his kid brother, but would listen to him and agree with his reasoning, and whatever they'd do next, they'd do it together, as equals. and that dean would somehow be grateful for it. so if he convinced john to postpone a hunt or go alone, so he could have dean with him, and dean could rest and do some homework and they could have fun or even if he was just hanging around or they'd argue or if dean stayed out all night, sam knew he'd come back in one piece to him with jokes and stories to tell him and that's what mattered. every win sam could get for dean like that was also a win for himself. in sam's mind they were supposed to be on the same team fighting the same fight, even if he had to do all the work himself to pry dean from john's hands.

but, one problem: sam was a kid, and he only ever looked at it from his own perspective, he didn't understand why dean did what dean did or what dean needed. he naively thought nudging him in the right direction would be enough. sam didn't understand why dean kept choosing john's side, didn't understand why dean didn't stand up for himself more, couldn't rhyme dean's obedience to john with his concept of the heroic big brother who could do ANYTHING he set his mind to. and with every year that passed they only drifted further apart bc of this, until it exploded.

but despite stanford and all that happened since, i love how sam only grew more protective of dean, in newer and even more bizarre ways, and he eventually got dean exactly where he wanted him, safe and happy at his side😌❤️ so it all ends well when it ends well! for a while at least :/

#there are obviously times when sam DID think dean was weak but he was protective of him long before that #this got so long but how to talk about this when its connected to everything else #wincest wednesday #or sunday whatever #zmediaoutlet #reply #and what do you think my job is #im so slow on answering asks but its not you all its me etc etc i DO love them and i AM slowly making my way through them❤️ #head too full and its only abstract images in there. you know how it is.

[wttf-if]

Just to better understand the family, obviously these guys do fucked up shit sometimes but in a way where it doesn't end up traumatizing amazingly (for them at least), but what do their boundaries look like? Any serious nonos? I mean, it is implied Irina either killed or made her uncle missing somehow in one react (or that was a coincidence) so there's that

I just wanna know how what normal interaction looks like with this family as opposed to what an unhealthy relationship in this family would look like

Oooo, thank you for asking this! So, basically, their boundaries are really similar to what any, other decent family/people will do. Be polite to your neighbors, be kind to others, be open-minded, etc.. However, how they interact is different from what is considered 'normal' to society.

One example I can think of is, "They'll serve you tea, but the tea is probably weird. Like, there's five different combinations of it that might be bad for your teeth/health, but it's still delicious! Think of it like a twinkie! A twinkie dunked in chocolate, deep-fried and then served with more chocolate!"

Yeah, I don't know why that exists either.

I'm going to leave a cut under this, as the topics I discuss below are really heavy, and this is inclusive with the no-no's. So, please read at your own discretion!

The biggest no-nos are things that are just disgusting/terrible/mind-numbing in nature, like rape or anything similar to that topic. There's a ton of stuff that isn't really, you know, good to anyone in general, and listing them all will take a loooooong time, but I will say this: The Varias Family are a modern family that challenges what is normally accepted in society, but will be open-minded to what is accepted in society.

Let's bring in another example, murder.

Murder and related topics are not to be treated lightly, but the Varias family will treat it differently from others. If they mess/joke around with it, it means that they believe you're in the same wavelength as them, and both parties will treat it as a joke. They will show that they will want to kill you if they want to, but otherwise, there will be tells or signs to let you know that they don't mean it or not.

To best explain it; it's like how old, television shows will make a really, really dark joke and then move on to the next segment. Like with Spongebob, with how they addressed Mr. Puff when Mr. Krabs asked about what happened to him with Spongebob.

Mr. Krabs: So, what happened to Mr. Puff?

[Cue to a lamp-shaped Mr. Puff.]

Spongebob: She doesn't like to talk about it.

I am very surprised that I remembered this specifically, but if it works, it works!

I hope I was able to answer your question! I went on a bit of a tangent, but I wanted to best explain this ask to the best of my ability. If you're still slightly stuck, I recommend watching the Addams Family on YouTube through the MGM channel. They have a bunch of full episodes for FREE of the original, black-and-white show and that best shows what I mean!

And if you're curious about Uncle Pocket, he's not really dead. He's on vacation with really, bad Wi-Fi.

#ask #wttf #wttf if #castor talks

[neverwritewhatyouknow]

hi! i hope it's okay that i ask you this, i can imagine you must be really exhausted dealing with hate you don't deserve and it's not your responsibility to educate us. i was just wondering that wasn't the mention that nora was spending hannukah the only bit that talked of her religion? i know you've talked about being jewish/being a convert, but i'm still trying to understand this - like how can we know for sure cmq meant for her ethnicity to be jewish precisely? i'm not saying i think they meant for her to be from a family practising judaism but not jewish - bc i don't, i don't think cmq spent that much time thinking about it honestly - but techincally how can we be sure? (not saying that this would a good reason to not cast a jewish actress, obviously getting jewish rep would have been a better choice) but i was thinking - isn't this a bit like with pez's gender? i think cmq tweeted that they consider pez genderfluid/nonbinary/in some way gnc, but since she didn't explictly write that down, they can't claim having rep for that and ultimately it's up to the reader to decide for themselves. (i'm trans myself too) again, i don't think this is a "good enough" reason to not cast a jewish person and i'm disappointed at how they handled and continue to handle this, but i'm just trying to understand/see if my thinking makes sense, if you get what i mean? and if nora was explicitly stated to be jewish at some point/i missed somethin, i apologize!! thank you so much for continuing to educate people - and me - and i'm sorry about the mess of this ask!! thank you for taking the time to read and answer, and i do really hope you remember to take care of yourshelf too bc you deserve that!

I’m summarizing the question here so I don’t have to keep scrolling up:

1. How can we know Nora is ethnically Jewish? (The anon doesn’t think she’s from a non-Jewish family who practices Judaism. Doesn’t think CMQ thought about it a lot. Only Chanukkah was mentioned.)

I already know I’m going to get attacked for this answer, because people are going to have problems with some or all of it. I ask that if you start reading the answer, to finish reading the answer. I’m serious.

I’m going to say first that even the mention of Nora celebrating Hanukkah is enough to have a Jewish actor needed to play her, since that there and then shows that Nora is Jewish. Non-Jews don’t celebrate Hanukkah (don’t come in here with “evidence of non-Jews doing it, that’s appropriation and def not what CMQ was showing).

I went through the book today looking for stuff, it’s as vague as I remembered (the vagueness is something I will talk more about), but I did find some stuff that I think is important for your question.

Let’s start with the biggest thing that shows that Nora is Jewish. Hanukkah. A Jewish holiday. Even non-religious Jews tend to celebrate Hanukkah because… presents.

Nora goes home to celebrate with her parents (and we can assume grandparents, because they seem very close to her parents). Her parents Reilly and Rebecca. Now, a name obviously cannot and shouldn’t determine someone’s religion, but using her mom’s name of Rebecca added with everything else, we can form a bigger picture of Nora’s background. God, I feel like a theory YouTuber. The name Rebecca is common among Jews (obviously not only Jews), but if you look at her name, combined with Nora’s name (which HOLY FUCKING SHIT ⬅️ my actual reaction because I just realized I don’t need to finish answering this question. I remembered reading that CMQ had changed Nora’s name and…

I don’t have to defend Nora being Jewish or not anymore, because…

Casey already did. Everyone asking how to know if Nora is Jewish or not, Casey said it. Right there.

Anyway I was gonna say a whole bunch of other stuff about how you can tell Nora is Jewish in the book because of the way that Casey described something and why the vagueness actually made sense in a more meta way… (let me know if anyone still actually wants this)

If nobody wanted to believe me about Nora being Jewish, maybe you’ll believe Casey? The author of the book. Oh and for anyone who wants to fight back and say “well people don’t know about Casey saying this.” That’s not the point. The point isn’t this sentence, it’s the fact that she wrote Nora as Jewish. Nora is Jewish and Casey wrote her that way. Can people be mad about this now? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD This is the clearest answer. Thank you to the anon, I knew CMQ had mentioned this but forgot until now. Thought maybe I dreamed it. But nope. Right there.

#rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #red white royal blue movie #rwrb #rwrb cast #prince henry of wales #alex claremont diaz #alex and henry #red white and royal blue movie #nora holleran #rwrb hc #rwrb film #rwrb headcanon #alex x henry #henry rwrb #firstprince #rachel hilson #nicholas galitzine #taylor zakhar perez #casey mcquiston #cmq #red white royal blue #red white royal blue cast #red white and royal blue cast #nora rwrb #rwrb memes #rwrb shitpost #rwrbedit #rwrb fanart #henry mountchristen windsor

[clairecrive]

hi! I just recently found your account and I've been spending all my time reading everything you've written, and I wanted to tell you that I absolutely adore your writing! it's so beautiful.

I also wanted to request a friends to lovers nikolai x reader fic (you don't have to make it friends to lovers if you don't want to!) something along the lines of this: they get seperated after the battle with the darkling at the end of siege and storm and reader has to go with alina but they finally reunite? and everyone is super smug because they knew it would happen.

sorry for such a long ask and no worries if you decide not to do it! I hope you're doing well!!

Fools, pistols blazing and shock

A/n: a promise is a promise and the second most requested fic was Nikolai and angst and so here it is! friends to lovers is not my favorite trope but I enjoyed writing this. I hope you will too x

Thank you so much for your beautiful words btw, they mean the world <3<3

tags: @jupiterandbutterflies , @agentsofsheilds , @for-bebbanburg , @randomoutsiders , @hannaxmaria , @vintagebitc , @story-scribbler , @crowssixof , @odetostep , @lizzie-he4rts , @korol-lantsov , @subjecta13-thefangirl ,@gallysonegoodlung , @a-c-lee , @mriddlemethis , @carnationworld , @thanossexual , @luvxginger , @sanna2020 , @partiesandblurrypolaroids , @edithsvoice , @wafflesandschemingfaces , @snugleo , @sugarmelonwater , @dobwhore, @sassybadqueen , @anything-forourmoony, @snokoi, @imaginingimagines, @vintagebitc_,

SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST

"So," he twirled around, "how do I look?" With a theatrical gesture, he stopped in front of you.

You looked at him, head to toe, before saying, "Like a fool I know."

He was imperturbable, by the smirk on his face one would think that you had paid him a compliment. "The answer was far simpler: handsome."

"You look like a prince," you conceded, " but so does your brother so take that as you will." And with that, you walked to your assigned post leaving a scandalized Nikolai behind.

The dinner went by smoothly even if you had to bear Vasily being his annoying self. So far so good. The important thing was that the people around the table were under no threat. The rest was bearable.

And no, it had nothing to do with Nikolai winking at you from time to time. Flirting was second nature to him and Alina's presence by his side was a cold reminder of how things were.

It took one look at her for your face to go as blank as Mal's on the other side of the room.

You had disconnected from the conversation at the table for a second, your attention going to the exit where a Grisha soldier had just walked in to talk to Zoya. If you had been paying attention to Nikolai, you would have known what to expect.

But you hadn't and so the next few seconds were pure chaos.

The unthinkable happened.

Black shadows filled the room, leaving no chance to the people they had appeared before. The Queen's scream brought your attention back to the table and consequently to the Vasily. Or rather, to what was left of him.

Beside him, the kind had crouched down to hide and was cowering behind the throne. The Queen clutched her son's body to her chest wailing and screaming. Then your eyes fell on him, standing tall in front of his parents shooting away.

You didn't know what you were going to do. You didn't think. You just acted and the next thing you knew, you were running towards him shooting fire at whatever tendrils of shadows you could see.

"Nikolai!"

In a moment, you reached his side, covering his back for every possible attack.

"You need to go," you urged him over the sounds of crying and shooting. A shot of light filled the room blinking you for a moment and panic shot through you at the possibility of Alina being hurt.

"Take your parents and Alina and go Nikolai. You can't stay here!" You insisted again, still back to back, unwilling to let anything happen to him. If he meant to argue you didn't know. You heard him speak but his words went unheard over the chaos in the room.

You turned around just in time to see one of those things trying to make their way to him. The tendrils of fire that shot through you slowed it down but it was only a shot of wind coming from a squaller that did the trick and sent it away.

Nodding in the squaller's direction you took Nikolai's shoulders and turned him towards the secret exit behind the throne.

"Stop playing hero and just go for Saint's sake!" Under normal circumstances, he was stronger than you. And well, he still was but too busy worrying about getting his family to safety and covering your back, he ended up succumbing to your shoves.

"I can't leave you here!"

"You can and you surely will! I'll make sure that Alina is safe," ushering him and his parents towards the exit, you didn't give him time to argue. Once they were through the door, you closed it behind them and melted the lock.

You allowed yourself only a moment to worry about him, to mourn him if things were to go downhill for you. Only a second for you to mourn the future that you knew you were never going to get with him.

Then it was over. Your heart locked away and your mind focused solely on the battle ahead. You needed to make sure that Alina was alive and get her to safety whilst also trying to save as many as you could along the way.

A piece of cake.

*+*+*+*+*+*

You knew that he had made it out of Os Alta alive. You had gotten word that he had arrived safe and sound to one of his hiding spots scattered around the country.

Alina and a group of other Grisha, including yourself, had managed to make it out alive out of the capital as well.

All was as well as it could be under these gloomy circumstances. And yet, you couldn't help but feel like you had lost.

Too many had fallen under the Darkling's wrath. Too many had given up their lives in honor of Ravka's freedom. Too many sacrifices for you all to be hiding in the tunnels like scared cats.

But you had a plan. You just needed to be in the same room as Alina, all of you at once, and you were going to make your way up.

It was only a matter of time before you were going to see him again.

*+*+*+*+*+*

It turned out that you were right. It was a matter of time indeed before you saw Nikolai again.

As always, he couldn't help but make a grand entrance while praising his good looks. For once, your eyes didn't roll in mock annoyance. The joy of seeing him again, safe and sound while also saving your asses, prevailed.

And the moment his eyes met yours? Priceless.

Despite being in the middle of running away and fighting the first army's soldiers, you felt like there was only the two of you. Nothing mattered besides Nikolai, his stupid smirk that shone brighter than all the stars combined.

It turned out that that moment came with a price indeed. Your distraction paved the way for an almost fatal mistake.

Too lost in Nikolai's eyes and restraining yourself from throwing yourself at him, you didn't notice the soldier sneaking up behind him. Or well, you didn't until it was too late.

The movement caught your eyes, but the bastard had his pistol already drawn. You had the presence of the spirit of pushing Nikolai out of the way before a shot was fired.

Focusing on the bullet you tried all your might to melt it, but you knew it was a desperate attempt since you had noticed it too late. Trying and losing was better than not trying at all so trying you did.

However, what turned out to be life-saving was Nikolai's counterattack. While you exercised the small science, Nikolai quickly drew his own pistol and shoot at the soldier.

Time seemed to slow down as you stared in front of him, hands in the air while Nikolai moved behind you. Right before your brain registered that while you had indeed managed to burn the bullet, it was still coming your way at high speed, another object entered your field vision.

At that moment you didn't exactly decipher what had happened, you blinked and the bullet was not there anymore. However, your stupor was short-lived as other soldiers were coming your way after hearing the noise.

At that point, Nikolai tugged you away and towards his awaiting ship knowing that the soldiers would surely outnumber you.

It all happened in a blink. One moment you were on the ground hellbent on not dying, and the other you were up in the air.

That, combined with the stress of the last couple of weeks. exhaustion and dehydration put you in a state of shock. Resulting in you staring numbly ahead of you.

Then, when you felt a hand on your face, your brain started working again and your eyes slowly began to focus.

"Are you injured?"

Nikolai was moving your head left and right to check for wounds and after that, he moved down on your neck and vital points. But you weren't hurt.

"It's so typically you to swoop in and save the day in the most dramatic way possible that I shouldn't even be surprised."

Your sarcasm reassured him that you were fine more than the absence of physical wounds. Leaning back on his haunches, he gave you a lazy smirk. "You know me, always read to save damsels in distress."

You almost hated how handsome he looked in that moment but the fact that he basically had saved your life made it really hard for you to get mad at him.

"Not a damsel and not in distress but I appreciated your gesture," you fired back falling naturally into your usual easy banter. "Thank you, Kolya."

"You shouldn't be thanking me. I did it for a whole selfish reason." His features morphed into seriousness which was usually something he left for meetings or that kind of stuff. Seeing it now directed at you, seriously worried you.

"Since when does Nikolai Lanstov shy away from gratefulness and compliments?" You tried to jest but to no avail.

"I'm serious."

"Alright, so why did you do it? You have tons of other Grisha available."

"Because a world without you is not a world I want to live in."

Well, damn. Trust Nikolai to make you completely speechless.

"That must be the shock talking," you murmured still taken back by his words.

"I've almost lost you, y/n, I'm not going to waste any more time avoiding my feelings." Crossing his arms on his chest, Nikolai lightly shook his head. Damn, there was no smirk on his face, no twinkle in his eyes. He must be serious.

"I should be having an epiphany moment since I was the one who almost died," you protested.

"Feel free to declare your undying love for me then."

"Ass. Now I'm tempted not to do it just to prove you wrong," you glared at him but sighed knowing what you needed to do. "But, as much as it pains me, you're right."

Your eyes flickered between yours and the sheer intensity of them gave you enough confidence to bear your heart to him, "I do love you, you know."

"Well, let's be honest, who wouldn't. I'm amazing," with a careless shrug, Nikolai gestured to himself. Which, of course, made you glare at him.

"Joking, I take it back. You're insufferable." Your mock-annoyance did nothing but amuse him to no end. However untruthful they might be, Nikolai played along with your words. While also progressively leaning closer to you.

"Nope, can't do that love. You signed your destiny, you're mine." You would have retired, of course you would have, but the truth is, his lips were more interesting than any witty comeback ever could.

#nikolai lanstov #nikolai lantsov x reader #grishaverse #nikolai lantsov imagine #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov imagines #nikolai lantsov fic #nikolai lantsov fluff #nikolai my love #nikolai lanstov angst

[nocek]

Don't spare us the long rant! We want to hear your thoughts!

Oh you are going to regret this ;P

So here goes my loooooooong angry rant about Taskmaster and also the Black Widow movie in general.

Let's start with my point of comparison. Captain America the Winter Soldier was a good movie. It's still in my top 3 Marvel movies as I'm sure is for many people. And statistically speaking everybody likes Bucky. He is like the most beloved side character right after Loki. I guess.

Anyway. My point is that Taskmaster and Winter Soldier have bit for bit the exact same building blocks: hypercompetent antagonist that is a serious threat to our hero who just can't win with in one on one combat. But then plot twist: our antagonist was just a victim and puppet without free will in hands of actual villain who is bland bureaucrat.

So why did Winter Soldier worked really really well and Taskmaster was just ehh.. ok?

Well the short answer is that catws was a much tighter movie that had clearer goal (and also that goal/theme was singular: good things get corrupted with time and sometimes you get to start over) compared to black widow which had to jump through too many hoops and still somehow managed it but it wasn't as graceful as it would be if they (as in executives) resigned from one or two hoops and flips and explosions.

And I'm omitting a BIG disadvantage of making a prequel movie about a character that they killed off in shitty way. Though that created one of extra hoops for them to jump through: quickly build up Yelena as a character.

And character build they did. Because srsly Yelena is awesome and I love her. BUT. That came at a price.

Lets compare to catws. The new character there is Sam (and kiiiiiiiinda also Natasha a bit but that's a topic for a different rant) who is nowhere near as well build as Yelena. At the beginning. Because he had time to be fleshed out and naturally grow in few different movies and then we got a deep dive in the Falcon and the Winter Soldier.

But Marvel can't give Yelena few movies because she will appear in Hawkguy an Hawkeye series and also Marvel is generally dividing their assets into: outer spaaaace, down to earth heros and magic stuff (aliens, androids and wizards ;P). But also they can only create so many things in a year.

So yeah. Yelena offtopic can be summarized that I love that we have her as we have her but it came at a cost of air time of the movie.

So comparing the movies again:

Catws had the theme of good things being corrupted with time. And the theme was underlined 3 times through Peggy, Bucky and then Shield/Hydra. Which are interconnected and also make nice scale from inner conflict of the main character to the outer conflict of the movie.

In Black Widow there is the topic of the past evil that never went away and is still taking away free will from people. And again we have it shown through 3 outlets: Yelena, Taskmaster and Black Widows. But there is also whole family subplot attached to Yelena and there is Red Room attached to Black Widows. So as you can see things are getting crowded. Which in turn make the theme a bit blurry.

I mean, sure, the Red Room should be the Shield equivalent. Even it could take smaller space because good Shield turns out to be evil Hydra is generally more time consuming to explain than Red Room bad. But still combining Red Room and Black Widows make things a bit crowded.

(There is a reason why the surprise subplot of there is more Winter Soldiers was in separate movie and was kinda handwaved and cut to minimum. But they couldn't do that here).

But it's time to stop my ranting about whole Black Widow movie and focus on comparing Taskmaster and Winter Soldier.

Because to be honest both are bare bones of character and more of an carte blanche in the movie. Both have barely any screen time yet there are colossal difference which stems out of:

first introduction: as I mentioned they are hypercompetent and unstoppable threat that you can't win with, you can only hope to run away (both done equally well)

programmable killing machine:

For Taskmaster we just get a scene with her watching other heroes fighting at the screen. For the sake of building up the mystery of character we think that "he" is just watching. Maybe learning or more likely just being creepy. The information about the chip and literal programming is given to us much later in the movie which makes this scene lose the power. idk how it will work on rewatch? Maybe better? Hopefully. right now there is too many new movies in cinemas to go for a rewatch and disney+ still isn't available here -.-

For Bucky we have literal torture scene. You just can't be more blunt than that. It also hammered the next point in.

there is human behind the mask:

Winter Soldier is introduced with full face mask which he gradually loses and then we have the big reveal of not only: that's a human but also that's a human our main hero cares about deeply.

With Taskmaster they fucked up it for chap plot twist. We are learning quite late that oh snap that's Antonia (that we don't really care about) and our main hero kinda feels guilty about her.

I think the big difference is what kind of character Steve and Nat are and also the way they reveal this secret. Steve actively recognizes Bucky by himself and is very openly shocked. Nat is passively told and shown that hey, this is Antonia. And there is no time in the movie for Nat (and for us) to be shocked because that's the 3rd act and we need time for explosions and stuff.

Besides, the problem is that all the big plot twist reveals are boring on rewatch (stil big props for Pacific Rim and giving us the monster reveal in like second minute of the movie, I will never not appreciate that).

Also on related shitty note. We the audience. Bucky is handsome and vulnerable and we can drool all over him (and oh man, we the fandom did a fair share of drooling). Antonia is disfigured and not sexualized in any way. Which I'm actually grateful for but there is no pretending that doesn't make a hell lot of difference. But that's a whole different, ugly and big topic I'm not remotely qualified to write about. I'm just angry ranting here.

they don't have free will:

For Winter Soldier we have amnesia + torture tropes which to be honest have been done over and over again and it shouldn't have worked as well as it worked. Bit it did. In context of Black Widow movie it worked because it was just one guy that actively broke through brainwashing with active help of the hero.

In Black Widow there is a lot of characters that are pasively "woken up" out of mind control over and over again by active protagonist. Unfortunately the repetition kinda cheapens it. Especially in comparison to main gut punch right in the feels scene in the other movie. Which is why it's not fair to compare the two.

So lets talk about lack of free will aspect itself. To be honest the mind control aspect in Black Widow was done really great from story perspective. Evil scientists perfected it to the point it being (bit handwavey but) completely impersonal but also completely dehumanizing to the subject. So I'm buying that it can be completely switched off in equally efficient and impersonal way. Even the way they explained it with Alexei the pig was great and terrifying... to a point. Because then kicked the main problem with this movie. Clearly some execs came and saw it and went whoa... that's too dark for pg13 blockbuster. Let's put some cheap jokes here. And it happens over and over again in this movie :S

humanizing flashback scene that ties them to main hero:

For Bucky, sure we had Captain America First Avenger but a movie needs to stand on it's own legs. That's why we have the flashback scene which shows us that Bucky cared about Steve. Leaving it at the narration in Smithsonian of "best friends since childhood" would be just telling us. And we needed to be shown and we needed a space for the "till the end of line" so it could come back and stab us right in the feels.

Also because we are ignoring previous movie Russos cleverly made us care about Winter Soldier because Steve cares about Winter Soldier. And we already know and like Steve so building up our main character gives us more mileage out of new bare bones character (because let's be honest, Winter Soldier is just that). Two birds one stone thing.

In Black Widow there is no such thing which IMHO is the main reason Taskmaster doesn't work. We just get information about cardboard cutout: insert cute little girl here (only told, not even shown actual cardboard) and all of the emotional connection to Natasha is: I know that my boss that I hate has a daughter, she got in the crossfire. Which means nobody cares.

All it would take is adding a short flashback scene. idk Dreykov is an asshole and doesn't care about Antonia but she is she cutest and most adorable little girl. She treats the Black Widows as older sisters. Hell if you want to make it more horrorish copy of the idea of Thor wanting to be a Valkyrie when he grows up or T'challa wanting to be a Dora Milaje. Little Antonia wants to be Black Widow when she grows up because they are badass and they are nice to her (and are also slightly confused by her) because she is nice to them and is only person that treats them as humans. Hell we could have short interaction between her and Nat. Just a smile between them would be enough.

You could get a lot of character buildup mileage out of such a short scene.

But it couldn't happen partially because the movie didn't have time for that but we didn't get that mostly because it would show us instead of telling that Nat killed a cute little innocent girl for her own personal gain. (well she thought she was destroying Red Room but mostly wanted to get away - vide she didn't check on Yelena or other widows. But I wouldn't hold that against her. It was put your oxygen mask first kind of situation. But still it would make her look bad)

Besides, that would take guts to actually show.

And technically they could have afforded to have that guts. That was last movie with Nat anyway. It would actually make this plotline about her feeling guilty about Dreykov's daughter and red in her ledger work. But well... It was last movie so they wanted to leave us with the most goodest and bleeding hartest and heartwarming mary sue version of Nat with just telling us without showing hey, she got dark past.

On the other hand if we had the rumored Endgame plotline of Nat running an orphanage. Damn that would tie to this plotline so well. We could tie the loose widows also. Dam we were robbed here I tell ya >.<

Ok I'm overdoing offtopic about Nat. Sorry

design

So yeah. Design wise Winter Soldier is like great. For Taskmaster, she sure looks cool but also kinda generic? If in 10 years you'd show me her and say it's antagonist from GI Joe or something I'll believe you :S (not touching the debate that in comics something something because unfortunately I don't know Taskmaster from comics. Although I hear that few recent ones were quite good so I'll check them out sooner or later)

snapping out of mind control

I mentioned before. It would be unfair and there is no point comparing main emotional scene of the movie versus means to an end that were repeated several times through a movie.

Natasha freeing Antonia even if she thought that Antonia will kill her because that would fair was great. What I'm annoyed is a cheap fakeout that went with that. It was just after the bombastic finale with explosions and all the cgi shit. Even without looking at the movie runtime it was obvious there will be no extra fight scene.

In catws it worked because the cgi pew pew extravaganza was a background noise and was part of a continuous fight. In BW helicarriers fell already, there was a second of dust settling and then Nat throws away the shield (uses that capsule). Tension just fell from highest place in a movie (quite literally lol), trying to rise it again for such a short moment just doesn't work.

But that's the general problem with Marvel movies. Bombastic CGI fest as grand finale that probably is "outsourced" and then actual director comes back and needs to end movie super quickly.

disappearing act at the end

So in catws there is mystery of what will Bucky do. We are given some hope since he dragged Steve out of river and visited the museum but thats all. I mean there is this annoying Marvel thing of skipping over the interesting ending of last movie and starting with next plot point. We were hoping for the grand roadtrip/hunt for Bucky but nope. We must run ahead with all the plotlines (same way I'm sure that the Spiderman is Peter Parker and he killed a guy thing will be already dealt with in the beginning of the next movie -.-) But that's bonus mini rant.

In BW they needed to wrap up to many plot lines too quickly so Antonia wakes up and that's all. We don't get a suggestion what she may do. The problem of the chip she still has installed is omitted. There is nothing. She just fucks off to lalaland with other Black Widows the end. Because we needed ending for Nat's actual family which was ok but also kinda rushed.

As I mentioned waaaay before (god, this rant is pretty long) too many hoops to jump through.

Which really sucks because if they added that one flashback scene just for Antonia and spared few more minutes for the overall ending it would work so much more better.

And I even know where they could have saved few minutes (besides the explosions thingies). The supply guy. One extra character in a movie with too many characters. In catws the supply problem (with wings) was solved with nbd shrug. If you wanted to show that Nat has her own web of contacts it should be more than one guy. IDK in Budapest there could be 10 second scene with neighbor saying hi nice to see you again we reinforced the walls after last time. In Norway we could see her visiting some special secret supply stash run by some rando before getting to the mobile home.

But oh she was on the run so that would be too many people. Then cut the people entirely. The shitty helicopter can be worked around with joke that I'm not on speaking terms with Stark rn and that's the best we can have on short notice.

Eh.. side rant again. Sorry.

So to wrap it up. I actually really would love to see what will happen with the loose Black Widows and Antonia because here they were really underdeveloped. And while widows were more of a group hero and we have Yelena as a representative so in a way it balances out but Taskmaster needed so little extra care to make her character so much better and I'm a tiiiiiiny bit salty about it.

#text post #long post #very long rant #black widow #black widow spoilers #black widow movie #black widow 2021 #taskmaster #antonia dreykov #i kinda doubt we will see her again #but one can hope #if anyone actually read through all of this congratz! #and thank you #let me hug you #(and I'm sorry it's so long)

[marbelcrossovers]

You gave an analysis of how the crackship boys feel about bakugou but how does he feel about them?

This turned out to be a long answer, not sure if I am on point though, just wrote down whatever came to mind. Hope you don't mind.

The Duo:

They are his goals that he's chasing. Both Getou and Gojo are very strong ("the strongest"). They are very confident in their abilities and true to their words, they are the best in their fields. Combined with the fact that both of them are good looking and intelligent, even if they chose not to be jujutsu sorcerers they would still do well in life (probably would have an easier life too). Katsuki is both proud of them and admires them. However, sometimes he is scared of them too. Gojo lived most of his life as a god amongst men so he can be very cold when reviewing problems/situations. Getou's problem...we all know what it is.

Katsuki knows Gojo is reliable when absolutely needed but Gojo won't be the first person he'd go to if he needs serious advices. I think Katsuki is the type of genius that's 99% hardworking but Gojo is the fully natural born genius, which means that Gojo has a hard time relating to Katsuki at times. Gojo is childish and immature, a ball of energy that Katsuki finds both endearing but also overwhelming. Katsuki finds it easier to get Gojo to do what he wants when he phrased things correctly.

He likes to spend time with Getou because it is often a quieter atmosphere. But Getou likes to decide stuff for him more (Getou will word it nicely though) and it's harder to change Getou's mind once he made a decision. Katsuki has a problem with this but it’s a slow process to work things out.

Katsuki in this fic is probably the least confident since he is always been chased (the curses, his parents wishing him to be even better) and chasing after someone or something else. Katsuki trusts them both but he also has a fear of being left behind. Gojo and Getou are older than him and the path they are on is a very difficult one. There are a lot of factors that is building barriers between them, especially since Katsuki wants to be a hero. They are also all young and people change, love sometimes isn’t enough to conquer reality.

He is scared of losing them too because death in this world is very common and even if they are strong, sometimes misfortune still happens. The jujutsu world is also very corrupted & Katsuki’s parents, even most of the people he knew (on the hero side + his parents) don’t think this relationship will end well. He is caught in a position where he feels that he loves the duo but also insecure about where their relationship will go and the stability of it. In a way, he’s hanging onto this relationship because he’s afraid he won’t find anything else.

Xanxus:

Xanxus is family. He filled in the role of an older male figure/role model (admittedly, he’s not the best role model and wasn’t around much due to the whole being frozen stuff) in Katsuki’s earlier life. With him, Katsuki found attention and a lively household (and other not so great role models) that he lacked in his own house. In young Katsuki’s head, Xanxus = attention and warmth + people he could play with, which is a hell lot better than his empty house or being left alone in an office while his parents worked constantly. Also, what kid wouldn’t like a big bro who would take them to do all the cool things that their parents normally wouldn’t let them do ? This impression stuck with him as he grew.

Katsuki could relate to Xanxus as they both had problematic relationships with their family (or faced a degree of neglect in their childhood). He likes Xanxus because he knows he could rely on Xanxus to stick to his words and that if the sky was falling down, this man would shoulder it for him (with a lot of cursing and possibly a lot of dead people to follow but still LOL). Of course, Xanxus being mafia meant that Vongola will always come first for him, Katsuki will never be his top priority in life. This Katsuki could accept because he is doing the same, where he views his careers more important than being with Xanxus.

With Varia, Katsuki finds freedom that his parents and hero society can’t provide. Katsuki didn’t like wearing the dresses initially but now he does, since it acted as an outlet for him to relax and not be Bakugou Katsuki: Hero in training striving to be at the top and stay at the top. It’s freedom to unwind and rebel against his parents -> This is basically how he sees his relationship with Xanxus too. It’s wild and hot, like wildfire burning bright but also like a hearth during the winter that provided him serene warmth.

To him, they are on equal grounds in terms of what they could contribute into the relationship. Katsuki gets the family he wants, acquire skills/resources while Xanxus gets his cloud, a way to shut the Vongola elders up about getting married and chase off the unwanted troubles, plus someone to share a portion of the workload with (Squalo is good but he’s the strategic captain, one man can’t do everything). Basically, he is the perfect mafia wife for Xanxus and in return, he gets resources, connections, and a family. However, they are more like boss and his guardian (yes, Katsuki does take orders from Xanxus because he find that Xanxus is competent and deserving of such) at times so it’s more about loyalty and fidelity than love for them.

Katsuki knows Xanxus is a cruel piece of shit who swears like a sailor and is hot tempered and violent, but he chose to stay because he didn’t want to lose his family. Also, both of them had been constantly abandoned and Katsuki didn’t want to “betray” Xanxus, putting him though those feelings again. Katsuki is a bit jealous of Xanxus’s confidence in himself though XD

Zeku:

Katsuki sees Zeku as a partner on equal grounds in all the ways that matter. It’s very literally them against the world. Zeku had nothing and knew nothing when he first landed in Katsuki’s world & Katsuki needed Zeku to make Suribachi better. They are business partners working towards a common goal at first, thus, they have spent a lot of time building up trust and working with each other, which means they also had a lot of time to understand and get to know each other. With deeper understanding, comes a deeper connection. Zeku is quiet most of the time and Katsuki finds it calming, like he’s safe behind the protection of a castle made of rocks. They are cold and hard but provides him a sense of security that he desperately needs.

The affection between them is more “pure” for the lack of a better description compared to the other crackships. It didn’t stem from the need to provide something in order to gain something back for this Katsuki. The attraction came from seeing Zeku willing to put so much time and energy into making sure Katsuki was safe (or relatively safe since it’s Yokohama), seeing him work hard to build and provide, and the feeling of being Zeku’s no.1 priority to the point where he was willing to stay for Katsuki. Katsuki found it touching, and he was moved by the little things that Zeku did or didn’t do (like staying with him when he’s overwhelmed or carving him a bracelet, giving him control, etc). In a way, it’s kind of like how dripping water (Zeku’s efforts) can drill a hole through a rock (Katsuki’s heart) if given enough time.

This isn’t a good analogy but imagine them holding hands, shoulder to shoulder as they make their way through this journey called life. Sometimes they walk, sometimes they run, sometimes Zeku leads in the front and other times Katsuki does. They hit a crossroad and Katsuki choses the direction and makes the plans while Zeku clears the path if needed. So their relationship is very much about being honest and open, trusting each other, and love. Things are simpler for them because there’s no external factor to consider (like the jujutsu higher ups, traditions of the Gojo clan or the issues with hero and mafia) so they are loving each other with all their hearts.

A small part of Katsuki feels like he’s tying Zeku to this world and brings nothing but problems (with all the people looking for The Book and Yokohama’s weirdness). His mental state isn’t always the best, which is also emotionally exhausting for those around them in the long run. Thus, he tries to do a lot of things to keep Zeku happy and is more willing to compromise or listen to Zeku’s thoughts and feelings. They want the best for each other basically.

#crack pairing #bakugou katsuki #messy analysis #relationship #bnha #khr #Battle of the Six Realms

[katatty]

Hii! I love all your content! You inspired me to start a megahood! Do you have risky woohoo enabled? Im afraid in some time my hood will become overpopulated, so I was thinking maybe romance sims don't have children? Bc like I use a long lifespan mod (adulthood lasts around 60 sims days), idk... If so, how do you keep track of the generations? Im trying not to worry too much about it bc im playing just for fun but at the same time im afraid I will have thousands of households to take care of lol

Hi!! I’m really glad you like my content, thank you! I do play with risky woohoo enabled, it’s very much an essential thing for me because I like my sims being able to suprise me and I love the drama/chaos it brings. That said, I do also use the morning after pill (part of ACR) for sims I think would really be committed to not having kids, or if they get pregnant & the timing is really horrendous, lol. That’s more based on lifestyle/headcanon than aspiration, though, lots of my romance sims have kids and are good parents, some pleasure/fortune sims I don’t think would have them. Or hell, even some knowledge sims have other priorities. 

I try to have a few couples with no kids, and just one or two kids for the majority. I don’t let my family sims go too crazy with their “have 6-10 kids” thing except for a few outliers, haha. That keeps the population relatively stable, at least for my purposes. If you want to keep the overall number of households low you can also have sims live with their parents when they become adults, or have big groups of roommates like the Singles household, stuff like that really helps keeps the numbers down! (You can also townify households if they’re boring to play lol).

I also use a long lifespan mod, and wrote a little bit about my setup with it & my fertility settings here.

I will say though, honestly, I have been playing my megahood for nearly 6 RL years with long aging mods and the born-in-game kids are still in their teenage years, haha. When it comes to megahoods the pace is so slow anyway (because of the number of households that come with a megahood to start with) that I don’t really worry about the later generations all that much, I guess? I don’t know if I will even still be playing Pleasantview Plus by the time Oliver Goth or whoever is fully grown up and having kids of his own...

So yeah, idk, this isn’t intended to scare you off playing a megahood because they’re really fun! But having lots of households to deal with kinda comes with the territory and honestly if my neighbourhood died I dunno if I’d actually play a megahood again, haha? Just because they’re so time-consuming. A lot of this your mileage will vary on, because it really depends on your play style and how you do rotations. (It takes me longer because I have to document my gameplay on this blog, possibly without such extensive documentation it’d be quicker, idk.) Maybe just a smaller hood combination like Veronaville/Belladonna Cove would be the ideal, for me.

With my own megahood I started out with just the three base game neighbourhoods and only added more of them later on after I’d been playing for a while, maybe try something like that if you’re worried about being overwhelmed! But also try not to worry too much, I’m a bit of an over-thinker too as is probably obvious from this post but just play about with it and have fun! When I started this hood out I wasn’t considering it as a long-term thing especially, I was just having fun playing and it just became more serious over time.

Sorry this answer got so long & rambling lol, I have a lot of thoughts about stuff like this!

#FAQ #Pleasantview Plus #Anonymous

[angelsswirl]

Petrichor

Four

Notes: The story's not over yet....

Content Warning⚠️: mild smut

...

"You loved what you loved because you loved it."

It's been weeks. Weeks of you falling deeper and deeper into this mess you somehow forced yourself into.

Weeks of getting to know Rosé. Weeks of getting to know Jisoo. Weeks of getting to know Lia, for that matter.

Weeks of being sucked into a cycle of never-ending uncertainty.

And sure you knew plenty about them at this point. The little stuff, the medium stuff, but maybe not the big stuff.

If someone had asked you weeks ago if you had wanted to be in a serious relationship, mated to an alpha for the foreseeable future, you would have told them 'No. Absolutely not. I'm not ready.' But now, that's changed. And you're not exactly sure why.

In addition to suddenly wanting to be someone's omega, your heats had magically increased, in frequency and intensity. They were somehow bulldozing their way through your normal dosage of suppressants.

It was why you currently found yourself in the waiting room of your doctor's office.

Though, as you waited to be called back by the nurse, that was not the pertinent thought weighing down on you. Instead, it was 'Did Jisoo or Rosé want a serious relationship with you as well? Did they want you to be their mate?'

The million-dollar question.

You had no real way of knowing. It definitely seemed like it on both their parts, but outright asking was out of the question.

Jisoo had a daughter, a daughter who will inevitably one day realize that you look nothing like her. She'll long for the care of her biological mother, and then Jisoo will leave you so their family is complete.

A logical conclusion.

Rosé has an ex, an ex that, granted, you're not supposed to know about (Yeri is very talkative when drunk), but an ex nonetheless. It's only fair that Rosé realizes that she has unfinished business with said ex while you're pregnant with her pups, and leaves you for the ex.

Another logical conclusion.

And where does all of that leave you?

Alone.

The nurse calling your name lightly soothed you out of your musing, saving you from answering your own question with even more ugly scenarios.

"Y/N L/N? You can go on back." The nurse, an omega herself, smiled reassuringly as she gestured for you to follow her.

She lead you to an examination room after weighing you in the hallway. After a few preliminary questions that you had to answer every time you visited, the nurse left you to wait.

Seven minutes later there's a knock on the door and a creaking of the hinges.

Dr. Ramona Davis, another omega woman, smiled softly as she flipped through your mildly thin file.

Despite you being a patient at this particular practice since you started having heats, you had never really had any serious isssues.

It wasn't uncommon for an Omega Specialist to be an alpha, but they probably saw way less patients. It made more sense for an omega to be seeing a doctor who would understand what they were going through on a medical and a personal level.

Dr. Davis placed the file on the counter in the room before squirting some hand sanitizer on, rubbing it in, then shaking your hand.

"Hello Y/N, what brings you in today? I haven't had to see you in a year." The concern on the woman's fair features was genuine. You took great appreciation in that. You hated Doctor's offices and the almost motherly nature of the omega doctor assuaged your anxiety greatly.

"Um, yeah. Recently, my heats have been coming way more frequently than normal and they're very intense. My suppressants are barely putting a dent in them."

"Oh, that is concerning. You rarely come to me for heat problems." The doctor's eyebrows furrowed.

Dr. Davis did a quick check of your breathing, then ears and nose.

The omega doctor sat back on her rolling stool with a sigh, "Are your heat symptoms normal? Anything really out of the ordinary?"

A blush settled over your cheeks. You thought for a second, other than being more intense you didn't think that your symptoms have been out of the ordinary really, "I don't think so. The normal overheating, bones aching so bad I can't move, loss of appetite, and really bad night terrors, but I think that has more to do with the fact that this is my first year living by myself in the center of New York City. Yeah, all of that but dialed up by, like, 10." You mused, you shrugged your shoulders in the end as if to say 'Y'know, the usual.'

Ramona stared at you blankly for a solid three minutes before speaking again, "Y/N. None of that is normal. I have half a mind to call your mom and tell her what you just told me. The only thing stopping me is doctor-patient confidentiality."

You pouted, your mother didn't need to know any of this. She was dealing with her own things. It's the very reason you hadn't mentioned this to either of your parents. Also, you hadn't really known that anything was wrong. You really just came here to get a higher dosage of suppressants.

Dr. Davis rubbed a hand down her face, "How long have your heats been like this?"

"Since I started having them, but they didn't get really bad until like six weeks ago give or take."

Ramona nodded, "You said this was the first time you're living fully by yourself. How long has it been since you lived with an alpha?"

"Uh, not since being home with my dad. I'm 24 and I moved out at 18, so, six years ago." You frowned. You desperately needed to find out where the professional was going with this. 

Ramona thought for a second. She had a hunch, of what part of the problem was. She can't really do anything about the "normal" heat symptoms but she does have a cure that should dial back the frequency and intensity, she just had a sneaking suspicion that you would absolutely hate it. Because if you didn't hate the idea, then the problem would be fixed already.

But first, a couple more questions, "When was the last time you were knotted?"

"Like three years ago?"

Dr. Davis surmises that you must have impeccable self-control and she's not sure if that's a good thing or not.

"Okay, last question before I let you in on my thought process. Have you been in close proximity to any unmated alphas lately? Like not just standing behind one in a line or sitting next to one in class, I mean actually spending time with any."

"Yeah...two." You were starting to pick up the pieces, and no, you did not like where this is going.

"Ah, the final piece of the puzzle," Ramona wrote some notes down on your file, "Alright. So here's what I think is going on, you haven't been in the presence of an alpha for at least three years.  And all of a sudden you're surrounded by two. Probably encountering many more pheromones than you had in the past three years combined.  It doesn't help that those alphas are readily available and your omega is very aware of this. Your heats are out of wack because, one, it sounds like you've just been chugging through them like nothing is wrong, not taking a knot or anything even remotely useful, and two, because of these new alphas. It's almost like your teasing your omega and she's fighting back. Triggering random and intense heats to trick you into mating with one of them."

You stared back at her absolutely horrified, "I'm trying to kill myself?"

"That's not what I said."

"That's what it sounded like. Anyway, how do I get it to stop? I'm sure you know this isn't very fun."

"I can imagine. There's really one way that can help..."

"Stop stalling, Doc."

"You're going to have to take one of their knots. I know, I know. Stop looking at me like that. It's the only way. Once you do that, your omega will calm down and you can go back to your life. Look, it doesn't even have to be one of theirs. You're going to do that and I'm going to write you a prescription for some muscle relaxers but your suppressants are staying the same."

You looked like you wanted to puke at the thought of doing that with anyone else other than Jisoo or Rosé.

"Okay, it has to be one of theirs."

You still looked a bit apprehensive. 

Ramona sighed, it looked like she was going to have to pretend to be her wife today. Her wife was a psychologist who worked down the hall.

"What's got you so hesitant, Y/N?"

You sighed and your shoulders slumped, "I don't want to have to choose between them. I like them both. A lot."

"Who said you have to choose? You might eventually when you're ready to mate, but for now, you don't have to worry about that."

"What if I am ready to mate?" You mumbled.

"Then yeah, you might have a problem on your hands."

You threw your hands up in the air exasperated, "I don't even know if they would even want to have sex with me."

Ramona rolled her eyes at that, "Okay, here's what you're going to do. I'm going to sit here, and you're going call both of them and ask." 

You began to protest, "Ah. No. You're going to do it. I can tell you've been putting this off and it's starting to nag at you. You're a 24-year-old unmated omega. There is absolutely no reason you should be doubting your sex appeal."

"Fine," You grumbled. Your hands shook as you picked up your phone and tapped on your recents. They were both coincidently the last people you had talked to. Rosé being the latest, as you were confirming plans for later that day.

Rosé answered on the second ring, "Hey, Babe. What's up?"

You blushed at the pet name, you sighed before deciding to just rip it off like a bandaid, "Do you want to have sex with me?"

There's a clattering and then a curse on the other end. A second later Rosé started speaking again, "I'm sorry, I dropped my phone. Yes. The answer is yes." You hung up without another word. A heavy blush encompassing your harsh scowl at Ramona.

It seemed like Jisoo answered the phone before you even pressed the call button, "Kim Crematorium. You kill 'em, we grill 'em. How may I help you?"

"How many times do I have to tell you that's not funny?"

"...Until I believe you."

"Anyway. Do you want to have sex with me?"

It sounded like Jisoo started to hyperventilate.

"I very do a lot."

"What?"

"Yes. The answer is yes."

You hung up and glared at the doctor, "Happy?"

"Are you?" 

You had never felt a boost of confidence such as the verbal reassurance of alphas being sexually attracted to you, but Ramona didn't need to know that.

"So, now you know they want to. The next step is to do it." Dr. Davis patted you on the shoulder reassuringly. 

You nodded resolutely. The next step is to do it. 

Dr. Davis handed you the prescription for the muscle relaxers and ushered you out the door.

~•~

You arrived at Rosé's penthouse with a renewed sense of determination.

You were let into the fancy apartment building and then into the penthouse fairly easily. You assumed Rosé had prepared whoever needed to be prepared for your arrival.

Rosé, over lunch one day, had finally let slip her actual job description. You had only shrugged more or less. You weren't stupid. You don't wear custom Armani suits and pay for your Starbucks with a black credit card without being the CEO of something.

Rosé seemed forever grateful you hadn't made a big deal about it.

As soon as you laid eyes on Rosé your core clenched. The alpha was only wearing a grey t-shirt and a pair of dark wash skinny jeans, and yet for some reason, you still got weak in the knees. 

Rosé greeted you with a peck on the cheek and a happy smile, "How was your day?"

You blinked, "Interesting. How was yours?"

"Boring at first. It's my first day off in months and I didn't know what to do with myself. Then I got an interesting phone call from an interesting person asking an interesting question. So I'd say my day was interesting as well."

Rosé led them deeper into the penthouse, which you later will realize is only the first floor.

"Yeah, sorry if I caught you off guard with that?" You looked down and blushed. A go to move of yours.

Rosé shrugged, "It's fine. I admired the forwardness...So, I was originally going to cook for you, but then at the very last second, I remembered I can't cook. But I can drink wine. And I'm very good at buying it too, so I figured we could have an impromptu wine tasting." Rosé gestured into her kitchen where a bunch of glasses filled with different pigments of wine had been set up.

"You just want to see me drunk." You tapped Rosé playfully on the arm.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any ulterior motives."

You made it three glasses in before you practically jumped Rosé. In your defense, your mini-heat was still simmering under the surface.

Your lips smashed together in a desperate ruse for you to get closer to Rosé. Rosé's hands on your hips and your hands in her hair. You released your grip on the taller woman's hair, you reached down to your shirt. Gripping at the hem and yanking it overhead.

Rosé blinked slowly, "Are you sure?" She asked, even as your hands traveled to the belt buckle on her jeans. 

You captured Rosé's lips again in a quick, searing kiss, "What about any of this says unsure to you?"

That's all Rosé needs to continue.

It's not really evident how you two got into Rosé's room and subsequently her bed. Both of you had sort of partially blacked out.

Save for her underwear, Rosé was completely naked as she nipped at your neck. You mewled and whined, your hips rolling up into Rosé's thigh.

"You're so wet." Rosé practically growled into your ear. She can easily tell by the amount collecting on her thigh every time you bucked your hips.

"Alpha, need you inside of me."

Rosé is all too happy to oblige. She kicked off her boxers quickly, then leaned over toward her bedside table. She rummaged around in the drawer without looking. You were completely naked under her, her eyes were bit preoccupied.

It took about 20 more seconds for the alpha to locate what she had been looking for. 

"Safety first," Rosé exclaimed as she held up the condom. You rolled your eyes, a bit too far gone to care about safety at the moment. This all seemed like a waste of precious time to you.

It felt like ages before Rosé was finally inside of you. You couldn't help but clench just about as soon as she had entered.

The relief you felt was almost instantaneous. That feeling of finally being filled almost pushed you over the edge right then and there.

Rosé rocked her hips back lightly. Allowing you to adjust.

You did so quickly apparently. Your hips rocking up into Rosé once again.

"Chae, harder."

Rosé grunted and obliged. Her hips slamming into the you harder than before. You were about as tight as Rosé had imagined you would be, and that was serving to make this that much more difficult.

She'd be damned if she didn't even last ten minutes. How embarrassing would that be?

"Fuck." You moaned breathily. You felt like you were floating. The coil in your stomach tightening in time with the curling of your toes.

"You're so gorgeous." Rosé whispered into your shoulder. She nipped at the skin there, trying to abate her need to bite your mating gland.

You're not listening. You can feel Rosé's knot beginning to form, and your main goal is to get it inside of you. So, you relaxed as much as you could and wrapped your legs around Rosé's waist. Pulling her closer.

You both released almost identical moans.

"God, you're trying to kill me." Rosé grunted just as her knot popped into you.

It took just about all her willpower not to latch onto your neck.

Your back arched as you fell over the edge. Your breathy moans becoming a bit more high pitched.

Rosé groaned as she released into the condom.

As you both came down you began to giggle.

Rosé scowled, "What are you laughing at?"

"Oh, calm down. I'm laughing because I normally pride my self on having great self control. I demonstrated quite the opposite just then."

"Hey, we all need to let go every once in a while." Rosé shrugged and shifted you to a more comfortable position.

You gasped as you felt the knot tug a bit. You would be tied together for a bit longer.

You sighed happily, then snuggled closer into Rosé.

Within seconds, you're out like a light.

~•~

You woke to your phone vibrating precariously next to your head.

In the night, you and Rosé had since shifted. No longer tied. Your back was pressed into Rosé's front, with her arm slung across your waist.

You answered your phone without looking at caller id.

"Hello?"

"Hey. You weren't sleep were you?" You frowned at the tone of Jisoo's voice. She sounded exhausted and maybe even a little upset.

"No. Why? What's up?"

Jisoo huffed a bit before sighing, "Do you mind coming over here and watching Lia for a bit. She's not feeling well and I need to go pick up some medicine for her. I know it's late-"

"I'll be right over, Jisoo."

"Thanks."

It's surprisingly easy for you to slip out from under Rosé. Tiptoe out of the room, locate your clothes, then head out the apartment. All without waking her.

~•~

You're at Jisoo's in record time. You smoothed out your wrinkled shirt before knocking on the door lightly.

It doesn't occur to you that Jisoo is most definitely going to smell Rosé on you until Jisoo opens the door and looks at you like that.

Part sad, part angry, part prooven right?

Her jaw is clenched and she won't look you in the eyes. Instead she looked right past you into the hallway. You wanted to say something. Apologize maybe. Deal out excuses. You're not sure. Jisoo beat you to it anyway.

"...Thank you. I didn't want to bring her with me at risk of her getting sicker. And everyone else was busy. Or Asleep." Jisoo looked a bit resigned. Like she expected this and it was what it was.

She brushed passed you easily, then hurrried down to her car. She might punch her dashboard out of anger and jealousy, but it's the middle of the night. No one is there to confirm or deny that part.

You took a deep breath. You didn't like that look Jisoo gave you. It made you feel gross, guilty, and quite frankly, sick to your stomach.

You don't have time to wallow, because you can hear Lia whimpering through the baby monitor placed on the coffee table.

You walked into the toddler's room to find Lia balancing over the ledge of crib. Clearly in the middle of an escape.

"Hi, Li. Do you mind if I help you?"

Lia huffed before reaching for you. You scooped the child into your arms easily. Lia cuddled herself into your neck.

"Thank you for letting me help. You give the best hugs."

The toddler lifted her head from your shoulder, "Better than mama?"

You chuckled lightly, "Yes, better hugs than your mom."

Lia laid her head back as you walked back to the livingroom. You sat down on the sofa as you waited for Jisoo to get back.

"Don't feel good." Lia mumbled tiredly into your neck.

"I know you don't. That's why your mom went to go get some medicine for you. You know, I think you hit the mom jackpot with that one."

Lia shrugged and yawned. It's only about three seconds later that the toddler passes out.

You just continued to rub the girl's back.

~•~

Jisoo came back to see Lia passed out on your chest, and you passed out on the couch.

She begrudgingly took a pic of the admittedly adorable sight.

She eventually decided to post the picture to her Instagram. Jealousy only partially driving that decision.

Jisoo pocketed her phone and stood in the door way for a few more seconds. Lia looked very content to stay where she was, so Jisoo let her.

She sighed, "I'm working on it, kid. I just wish I knew what I was up against."

~•~

You woke up without the crick in your neck you thought you would. You soon realized it was because you were in a bed and not on the couch you had vaguely remembered falling asleep on.

You hobbled out of the bed. You peered into Lia's room to find her sleeping soundly in the crib.

You then padded into the living room next. The tv was on but it didn't seem obvious that it was being watched.

"Morning." You jumped clear out of your skin.

You turned around to the voice. Jisoo was standing at the kitchen island, sipping on a cup of coffee. Jisoo looked like she had gotten exactly zero hours of sleep that night. Her face was blank and she was wearing the same thing she had left in.

"Morning... How'd I get into your bed?"

"I carried you there. You looked uncomfortable." Jisoo's face remained blank. Her eyes pointed in the direction of the television.

"Where did you sleep?"

"I didn't."

"Chu."

"Thanks for watching Lia again." Jisoo's jaw clenched and her leg bounced on the linoleum, "I'll see you later."

You wrapped your arms around yourself. You nodded as you headed for the front door.

"Tell Lia I'll see her next week?"

Jisoo only hummed.

You took a shakey breath as you left the apartment. You left the building with arms still wrapped around yourself.

Somehow, this felt more like the walk of shame then leaving Rosé's had.

You pulled out your phone and dialed a familiar number.

"What's up?"

"Can we meet up, I really need to talk."

"Of course. You know where to meet me. Give me ten minutes."

You breathed a watery sigh of relief, "Thank you."

#petrichor #blackpink fanfic #jesssica's fanfic #blackpink #jisoo fanfic #jisoo x reader #rose fanfic #rose x reader #alpha female #alpha/beta/omega dynamics

[justanotherlifeff]

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm and other triggering stuff.

(Y/N) POV

The wind made my hair fly vigorously. It has gotten longer and I probably will have to cut it. I'll ask Levi if he prefers it long or not. I could see the wall in the distance as we galloped towards it. Wall Rose, our home. The winter was almost over, the snow will melt by the next month. As soon as we give the news of our success in eradicating all titans in Wall Maria, the refugees would start preparing to go back. That would take about a month and everyone would start moving out by spring.

A month will also be required for the Garrison to start cleaning the bodies out. They would do it as soon as we bring the news of success. The two teams that were surveying the inner walls reached near Trost in formation as soon as we were near the door. "You all wait a second. I'll take a briefing from them." I told my squad before going towards the survey corps squad. Being the squad leader of one of the four commanding squads gave me a certain amount of power in the scout regiment.

[Author's note: The ranking of the survey corps is pretty vague, so I made my own version. Before Erwin's death, Levi was the captain, Hanji was the section commander, Mike Zacharias and Dita ness were two high rank squad leaders. The four of them made the commanding squads, the squads that held a certain amount of power over all other squads. Levi and Hanji's ranking held a similar amount of power, only, Hanji was Erwin's successor to commander and Erwin's right hand. Levi held the same amount of power on other squads as Hanji but he wasn't Erwin's successor. Mike Zacharias and Dita ness held equal power on other squads as eachother but less than Hanji and Levi. Now, Hanji is commander but Levi is still captain. Hanji didn't choose a section commander yet, so there are three remaining high rank squad leaders including (Y/N).]

"Oi! How are things here? Any deaths or titans spotted?" I asked the squad leader. "No Squad leader (Y/N). No titans were spotted and no one died. It seems like all of them were killed in the last expedition." The squad leader replied. "Good. I'll be off then." I told him before returning to my squad. The lifts were already lowered. I led my horse to the horse lift and stepped in the other one with my squad. We will be going back to Wall Maria and beyond the walls soon. Maybe we would get to see the ocean that Armin talked about. There were so many possibilities even if the entire world was our enemy.

The people of Trost welcomed us in. I was happy to give them the news that I just got from the squad outside the wall. I gave my squad the permission to do whatever they wanted for now before travelling towards the Capital Mitras to give the supreme commander the news of no enemy being spotted in Shiganshina. It was highly unlikely that the others would spot any enemy either. I reached Mitras at night to find that Levi, Hanji and Mikasa were there too. We all reached at the same time. As I got down from my horse at the stable, Levi approached me. "(Y/N), I need to talk to you in private." he told me, giving a brief look towards Mikasa and Hanji, who were also at the stable.

"Well, we will go report to the supreme commander. I'll tell him you two will be there shortly." Hanji briefly told Levi after I nodded at him. Levi took me behind the stable in an empty corridor and before I could say anything, he kissed me. I didn't hesitate kissing back either because I missed him. I wish I didn't have to face Uncle Erwin alone. After a somewhat long and passionate kiss, Levi broke it and touched his forehead on mine, our eyes still closed. "I was worried." he muttered. I understood how he felt. He wasn't too good with words but I knew how he felt.

"I'm here. I'll always be here" I whispered to him. To that, he pulled me in a tight hug. The warmth of his hug made me struggle to keep myself from falling asleep while standing because I was exhausted. I didn't get any sleep on the wall as I was constantly worried about getting ambushed. After all, I made a promise. "Levi, I'll tall asleep if you hug me any longer. I'm really tired." I muttered to him and he pulled away. "Well, let's report to Zackly." Levi answered to that and we headed towards the building.

The supreme commander seemed happy with our reports and even offered us wine which we politely declined. We had to get back to Farlan and just go home to take some rest. Levi offered that we could take a wagon in case if I felt too tired but I avoided it as I had no intention to sleep on a hard piece of wood and every intention to pass out on a comfy bed with Levi's arms around me. By the time we reached Trost with Farlan, it was dawn. We knew that we would get a day off and I ordered my squad to look after Farlan for a while so that Levi and I could get our well deserved rest. The month passed quicker than expected. The survey corps and Garrison declared Wall Maria to be titan free.

The Garrison was in charge of cleaning up the mess of Shiganshina and repairing all housing. Whatever remains left of the fallen soldiers in Shiganshina were collected and given a mass burial back in the army burials of Capital Mitras. Everyone got a combined headstone. Uncle Erwin's body was also recovered and as the 13th commander of the survey corps, he received a separate grave. I finally had the chance to give Uncle Erwin a proper funeral.

Many civilians showed up at the funeral, a rather modest one without much arrangements for food or refreshments. They didn't care though. He was that one person that made many notable achievements for humanity...or just our kingdom of Paradis. We wouldn't have known that we weren't alone, the extent of how strong our enemies are without his help. The entire survey corps were there, along with many from the Garrison and some from the military police, all in their uniform. Only civilians dressed in black. The funeral went through the standard army procedure, we all saluted to the great man who attained the respect of all his comrades.

After the army procedure was done, everyone was allowed to come forward and speak a few words about Uncle Erwin. Historia was the first to go as queen. She mentioned how Uncle Erwin allowed her to land the final blow on Rod Reiss, her father. How he was concerned but believed in her. The Supreme commander went next and told of his experience on dealing with the cunning commander. How Uncle Erwin never failed to impress him and how he thought Uncle Erwin was a very interesting man. Pixis was called after that and he did something that I never expected.

"Erwin Smith was a man who I knew I could trust as we saw eye to eye on most matters. He helped me out in various occasions and I don't think I have quiet paid the debt back. You see, many years back, I found out that I had a daughter. A man needs some release at times and I made the mistake of going underground for it. I didn't know about her till it was too late. She was found at an underground brothel, almost sold off, during a survey corps raid. I think all of you have a fair idea about who I am talking about at this point.

Yes, (Y/N), also known as the strongest woman in humanity, though that title brings serious doubts now given that there are people living in the world besides us, she is my daughter. I could've taken her back then but seeing how much of a terrible father I have been, I decided she would be better off in a family. I was wrong and everyone knows the rest. I never intended for her to find out about me but she did and I decided I should face reality instead of trying to hide behind the walls I made for myself. As the commander of the Garrison, I do have the tendency of not crossing the walls. Erwin took really good care of (Y/N) when I wasn't present. The (L/N) couple were a good fit for her but as much as I know, (Y/N) spent more time with Erwin, training, reading... Erwin helped her grow as a person, something that I should have done. I'm always going to be thankful towards Erwin for taking care of my daughter and there was no way to pay him back. That's all." he said.

Levi POV

I personally was surprised by the fact that Pixis came clean about (Y/N) in front of the public. Did he drink too much? He must have drank too much. (Y/N) looked equally as surprised as I did. The reporters from the newspapers had a new glint to their eyes. We would have to deal with their shit after the programme is over. Thankfully, Hanji, who was in charge of arranging the programme, got the situation under control and gave Nile Dok a chance on the stage. No one really cared about his cadet corps days with Erwin after what Pixis mentioned. It was Hanji's turn after him and then it was my turn. I got up, went to the stage and started talking.

"Erwin Smith found me when I was in a very shitty position in life. He took me in the military, helped me get a better life. I can't be thankful enough for that. He was a man who never thought a second time before throwing away lives for humanity as we knew back then, but perhaps, if he didn't become a demon among the normal people, we wouldn't have known the truth of the world now. I personally decided that it was time for him to rest that day in Shiganshina because we pushed the man into becoming a ruthless soldier, someone who wasn't allowed to have feelings. I knew how hard that was after I met my wife. He didn't deserve it, no, we didn't deserve a man like him." I ended my speech before returning to my seat next to (Y/N). It was her turn now. I gave her a reassuring look as she headed towards the stage. The crowd, as well as the reporters seemed much more eager about listening to her speech.

"Well, I had a speech written down but seems like I won't be using that. Commander Pixis stated how my childhood was already and I wouldn't comment much on that but I would definitely say that Erwin Smith, the man who was like a father figure to me, made me see hope in this cruel world countless times. He trained me to defend myself, he introduced me to my love towards reading, he was the reason I kept on living after everything was taken from me. He might not be alive today but his memories live on. The day I saw his dead body for the first time, I realized that the body was only a proof that he lived. What mattered most was his contribution towards all of our lives, specially mine." (Y/N) stated, her face etched into a light frown but stoic nonetheless.

The other speeches were dull and uninteresting. That was until a civilian mentioned that his brother, someone who died on the mission to retake wall Maria, had felt how Erwin felt during the 57th expedition. I remembered that one, I gave him Petra's batch after he lost his friend trying to recover another friend's body.

"Levi, you couldn't have had his friend's batch." (Y/N) mentioned in a low tone beside me. "Yes I know." I answered, curious about why she seemed angry. "I saw you take Petra's batch. Was that her's?" (Y/N) asked, her tone sounding more sad than angry. "Yes. It was her's. Are you okay?" I asked (Y/N), concerned about her. "Why did you take her batch? You told me you didn't have feelings for her..." (Y/N) muttered, looking down at her hands. "(Y/N), I didn't have feelings for her. I never did and never will do. I felt guilty that the last conversation I had with her was the one where I rejected her. I felt like I should have changed her squad instead of giving her a chance. I thought about changing her squad too. I felt like she died because of me and I needed to give her father something that belonged to her. Something other than her dead body. That's all there was to it." I explained. "Oh" she answered, with a hint of smile on her face. She still didn't regret her death did she?

One Month later

The refugees returned to their newly repaired and cleaned homes in Wall Maria. Farlan was three months old now and if we thought his crying was bad enough before, it was like living in hell now. I was always used to 3 hours of sleep a day but now, even I get sleep deprived. I'm never having children again. (Y/N) always manages to calm him down but the woman needs some sleep too. I feel bad for her sometimes and try to take care of Farlan but he keeps shrieking like a banshee. God knows what the fuck I do wrong. The expedition outside wall Maria was coming soon enough and my table was filled with stacks of paperwork.

Hanji was kind enough to give (Y/N) a comparatively less amount after she got baby sitting duty when (Y/N) and I had to go and talk to the nobles about expedition budget. Apparantly being the strongest soldiers among Eldians gave us some benefits. Other than that, we recently found out that (Y/N) had a talent of managing people. She probably got that from Pixis. This was discovered when (Y/N) was being interviewed by the newspaper reporters about the revelation by Pixis. (Y/N) answered their questions on point and as short and informatively as possible, without letting out too much or making it seem too mysterious thus getting rid of all the sudden public attention.

Hanji decided that she should go talk to those filthy nobles after that and I, of course, volunteered to go with her as I didn't want anyone else hitting on what's mine. We still lived at Trost, making an hour long travel to Shiganshina everyday, with (Y/N) strapping Farlan to her while going to work. She hated leaving Farlan out of sight except when we are in bed, which isn't happening too often as he seems to start shrieking every time (Y/N) leaves him alone. I understood why she did that though. She just wanted to make sure Farlan has the best childhood and is always cared for. That woman is the perfect mother. I'm not too sure about myself. The new headquarters were at Shiganshina, making it easier to travel out. The expedition was to take place next week.

One week Later

(Y/N) POV

We were standing on top of the wall, the lifts lowering our horses. Only the two special operations squads and Hanji were going on this expedition as no titans were spotted outside of the wall. Both Hanji and I had a theory that all the titans were already inside Wall Maria and we took care of them. Everyone except Levi and Hanji seemed excited to finally leave Wall Maria, and that included me even if I didn't show it off. Uncle Erwin's formation technique would be used so that we could avoid any titan, if any came into view. The plan for now was to go to the end of the island to ensure Eren's father's information were right or not. There must be the so called ocean at the end of the land. The plan after that was eradicating any remaining titan that were on this island and creating a base near the ocean so that Marleyans couldn't throw more titans in here.

Hanji was right. We didn't encounter any titan on our way. Just one which wasn't able to move. "That's one of our compatriots. Someone who'd been sent to 'heaven'. We're close. I'm sure of it." Eren stated before following Levi and galloping forward. After travelling a small distance, we came across a wall. A man made wall. "This is where the Eldians were turned into Titans." Eren stated again. We trotted past it and saw something that was utterly unbelievable. A huge blue wherever my eyes went. Water everywhere. As if it didn't have an end. This was the ocean.

Everyone was already in the ocean. My squad, Sasha, Connie and Jean were playing in the water. Armin stood in the water, looking at something near his feet while Eren was looking at the horizon. Mikasa was struggling to take her shoes off. Hanji was already experimenting and I was tempted to join her. However, it could be dangerous... "Woahhhh! Is this really all salt water?! Huh?! I see something!" she exclaimed and that was enough to catch my attention. I swiftly got my shoes off and went towards her. "What is it?" I asked her, curiosity clear on my face.

"Watch out, both of you. Don't touch it. It could be poisonous." Levi voiced my concerns. I wasn't going to touch it anyway. While Hanji fiddled with some black weird things, I looked over at Eren and the others. Mikasa and Armin were smiling but Eren had a melancholic expression. "I'll be back." I told Hanji and Levi and walked towards the trio. Mikasa and Eren were good friends, specially Mikasa. Armin was more of an intellectual competition to me but he had my respect too after everything that happened.

"And on the other side of the ocean is freedom. That's what I always believed. But I was wrong. It's enemies that are on the other side of the ocean. This is exactly as I saw in my old man's memories. Right? Those enemies on the other side of here, if we kill them all, does that mean we'll be free?" I overheard Eren. "They took everything from me too. I'd kill them at the first chance I get. We will have freedom and justice." I spoke from behind Eren. Eren chuckled at that and said, "You're the last person I expected to hear that from.". " Why is that?" I asked him, confused. "Well, I thought you didn't care about things like freedom or people." he answered.

"Well, seems like you were wrong. I would kill anyone who tries to harm my child. I would try my best to protect Levi. I do care. I cared about Uncle Erwin and I will help Levi keep his promise to kill that ape." I answered, my eyes murderous. "Uh.. I thought we were having fun?" Armin meeked in, looking slightly intimidated. So much for the colossal titan. "Yes, I'll leave you to that, I answered before going back to Levi. He didn't get into the water. Clean freak... I held his hand as I looked into the horizon. When he looked at me and raised an eyebrow, I gave him a smile and squeezed his arm. He awarded me with a smirk before looking at the horizon himself. We looked at our squads having fun. This was only a calm before the storm but I, (Y/N) Ackerman, can tell you that I have never been happier.

To be continued in your imagination....

Taglist: @reality-is-often-disappointing, @kingtamakimurder

#levi x reader #levi attack on titan #levi aot #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi x fem!reader #levi×reader #captain levi #levi ackerman

[nessamaurice]

Simple Ch. 2 (Loki x F!Reader)

Masterlist

Summary: Tony and the Avengers are in desperate need of something like a “babysitter” to have an eye on Loki and teach him “how to human”. He decided to stay on Midgard over the dungeons of Asgard as punishment for his deeds in New York. That’s where you swoop in. A simple receptionist at the Avengers compound. You have to share an apartment in the compound with Loki and damn, he’s a really tough nut. With your open and kind character it seems that you are slowly cracking his shell. But suddenly things are getting twists that will change your life and your relationships there irreversibly.

Story rating: M

Chapter trigger warnings: n/a

Words: 2492

2

Your head just did not keep quiet.

Oh my god, what have I done. I don't want to be kicked. I really like my job. Don't fire me, oh lord have mercy with my poor soul.

Your mind went on and on while you followed the famous Hawkeye through corridors of the compound you never saw before. You stepped into a lift and the doors closed. You noticed that he did not push any button but the elevator started to move anyway. You glanced over to him and caught your own reflection in the mirror of the lift wall. Embarrassed you shut your mouth that was still open. You stared at your shoes (which were pretty dirty as you just noticed) and you wished so much you would not be wearing your favorite Star Wars shirt under your cardigan right now (the combination looked really good and the cardigan hid your nerdiness) as the heat in your cheeks did not stop rising.

"You don't have to be nervous."

You audibly gasped as Clint Barton pulled you out of your thoughts. You looked at him from the corner of your eye and saw him smirking. You wished you could bang your head against the wall.

He leant a little over to you and lowered his voice. "You are not in trouble. We just have an offer for you." He leant back again. "But Tony wants to present it to you himself. Typical." He rolled his eyes really hard. He noticed that you had turned your head to him and you must have looked a bit puzzled `cause he said "Well, if you knew Tony you'd understand what I mean."

"Oh, I know." You said out of a reflex and immediately pressed your lips together in regret.

Now he turned his head to you, asking you with his eyes.

"I, uhm, I know him from the TV in interviews and sometimes he crosses the entrance hall, followed by several persons most of the time and, uhm, well, he has a loud voice so it's not hard to hear what he says and how he says it and... uh" You paused to find the right words to say what you were thinking without giving them a reason to fire you now, "I think he likes to set the tone." You smiled a bit as you compared your thoughts with your words and were proud of yourself. Quickly you added "And of course he has every right to do so, he's a genius and deserves every attention he gets."

After a very, very long second of silence, all Hawkeye did was let out a little snorty laugh.

Shortly after the lift stopped. Just before the doors opened, Clint Barton patted you a bit roughly on your back, which made you stumble a small step forwards, and said "Don't worry, you'll do great."

He stepped outside and you just followed him. Eventually he stopped, opened a door, held it open for you and waited for you to get in first. You took a deep breath and went inside.

In the meeting room was a long table with several chairs around it. The left side of the room was just one giant window. In the other corner of the room stood a man in jeans and a dark t-shirt (which turned out to be a Black Sabbath tour shirt) looking out of the window. As you entered, he turned around.

"Ah, you got to be Miss Y/N" he almost sang as he crossed the room quickly to get to you, stretching out his hand. You stared a moment too long at the hand, now being in front of you, before you grabbed and shook it.

"Uhm, yeah, hello Mr. Stark. What an honor to meet you." You stammered while smiling a bit helplessly.

"Oh, let's keep it casual if you don't mind. Tony." He grinned right into your face which just worsened your blushing. You assumed you just reached level tomato red. A very short moment his facial expression shifted just a little bit. He focused on your face, seemed to search certain features. Just as if he knew you from somewhere. But that lasted just like two seconds before he returned to his childish grin.

"Sure!" You cleared your throat; that came out a bit too enthusiastic, "Sure. A pleasure. Oh and of course, it's just Y/N to you."

"Alright! Sit down please."

He gestured you to one of the chairs. While you sat down he pulled a small plastic bag out of nowhere and offered it to you.

"Cashews?"

You couldn't help but smile and grabbed some, thankful to have something to do with your hands besides fumbling on your clothes.

"Okay. Barton?"

He simply nodded, waved someone to come in and joined you on the chair next to you. You simply smiled at him, chewing on your cashews as you heard the door closing and looked to the entrance again. You literally almost choked on the kernels as you gasped "Whoa fuck!" Right there in front of you stood no one less than Thor himself. You pressed your hand on your mouth to stop you from saying more swearing and spitting the food around.

The broadest of smiles in his face, he just said "Mylady.", leaning slightly forwards into a little bow.

You silently watched him getting closer to you with just a few steps. He took your hand and placed a decent kiss on its back.

Staring at him in all his armour, surrounded by some strange sort of glory, you swallowed hard.

"Hello! Uhm, Thor, I guess?" You smiled nervously. You noticed all the smirking from the other two men.

"You guess right. Your name is Lady Y/N, right?"

"Just Y/N, yes, thank you."

"Okay!" Tony said while clapping in his hands. "Everybody's here. So, Y/N, let me explain what's going on here. Thor, sit down please, otherwise she will just keep staring at your shiny hair." Your brain took a second to process what you were hearing and immediately turned your attention to Tony.

"Fine. Y/N, I am sorry to say that, but over the last month we observed some of our employees without informing them and one of them was you."

"I knew it!" you whispered to yourself, a bit too loud. "I'm sorry. It's okay, I don't mind."

Tony grinned a moment before he continued. "You noticed that, very good. No one else did. I'm honest, you are not our first choice for this job."

"She was mine." Clint interrupted. Tony's answer was just a dark glare before he continued.

"We tried it out with two other employees but none of them could handle the task, they gave up after a few days. I have to admit, this job is not easy. But on the other hand, it is pretty easy. First of all, I have to ask you a serious question and you have to answer it absolutely honestly. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir. Tony. Sorry."

Ignoring your stuttering he sat down on the table right next to you. His gaze turned a bit darker, steadily focusing on your face.

"Is there anything special about you? ... Not like you are not unique and this stuff", he added as you furrowed your brows on that strange question. "I mean, do you have any gifts? Super specialized knowledge we couldn't find out during observation?"

"Oooh" you let out in understanding, "Like telekinesis and stuff? Or a secret PhD in astrophysics? Noo, no, clearly not. I'm totally normal. I'm just a secretary. The only talent I have is that I can draw, well, not that bad."

"She's a very skilled artist" Clint suddenly corrected you. "But that is not important for the mission. No danger here."

"Great! Do you have any responsibilities that bind you to any person? Or maybe a pet?"

A bit confused you said, "Uhm, no..? I'm single and all I have is a salt water aquarium. I don't have any relatives to maybe look after, neither. If that is what you meant. I don't have any relatives at all. ... My family died early and I since had no other relatives to take care of me, a friend of my mother adopted me. But she died some years ago so... yeah. Just me." You added in explanation and stopped your own rambling.

Tony glanced quickly over to Clint who nodded sharply.

"Fish tank, okay that's no problem. In that case, I hand the word over to our big blonde one." Tony said pointing with his open hand at Thor.

"Thank you. Mylady, you surely know of the attack of the Chitauri lately. And I am sure you know that my brother Loki was in account of that. I took him back to our homeworld, Asgard, to obtain justice for all he did. He was offered two choices; to spend the rest of his days in our dungeon as a prisoner or to leave Asgard forever and stay on Midgard. If he would choose the second option, as soon as he would do any harm to Midgard or its people, he would be sentenced to death. At first, he wanted to stay on Asgard. But that... it did not work very well for him. He became more and more miserable, so I convinced him to take the other option. I was able to win our father over to put up that option again and now he is here. But after all he did, it is hard to trust him, especially now at the beginning. So Stark was so noble to offer my brother to stay here. We all got missions to look after, we cannot watch him all the time. So we decided to introduce him to someone to get him used to a life on Midgard."

"Okay, ehm, wow", you started after some awful long moments of processing, words failing you, "But, when I'm allowed to ask, why no SHIELD agent? I guess he's kinda... dangerous? How can you be sure he won't try to trick or kill me?"

"That's simple", Tony said, "because you are just a normal person. Sorry, no insult", he added lukewarm, "Therefore you are of no use for him.” He paused for a second, tilting his head. “I'm... I'm sorry, do we know us from somewhere? I can't shake off the feeling we already met."

"I don't think so? Oh, I'm working here down at the reception, maybe that's why I seem familiar. You never spoke to me but you often cross the entrance hall and I sit there all day. Well, most of the time I'm hiding behind the desk. Not that I want to hide, it's just because I'm in charge of the emails most of the time so my attention is to the screen. Uhm, yeah." You grew so hot you wished you could take of that cardigan without revealing your geek.

"Ah yeah. That'll be it. Are you okay? You look like you would faint."

"What? Oh, no, sorry, it's just a little hot", you held your ice cold hands to your cheeks, "I've never fainted once in my life. Everything's fine."

Tony kept staring at you for just a moment longer before jumping off the desk and turning to the coffee machine next to the door.

"Alright! Any questions?"

Unwieldy you took off your cardigan finally and try to hide the broad STAR WARS writing on it with your arms without looking totally awkward. You failed.

"Uhm, yeah. What exactly do I have to with him? Entertain him? Show him our world?"

With a steaming mug in his hand he turned around again and stared at your shirt for a second before answering.

"Love that shirt. First of all, try not to kill him. That could be the hardest part."

"How does it all work?"

"You will have to move in here. We have something like a little flat. We all live here. And with 'we all' I mean the avengers. Everyone has their own space, but we have a common room with a kitchen and stuff. We're like a big, crazy patchwork family." He grinned quickly before taking a big sip from his mug.

"Oh. Wow. Okay. That's a big move. What happens to my stuff? How long will all this take? Will you fire me completely when I mess this up or can I return to my reception desk when I can't do this? What if the others of you don't like me? What if I'm totally useless for you? How can I be sure your brother, what was his name? Loki? Right. How can I be sure Loki won't kill me?"

"You can take as much stuff with you as you want, we have space enough. We don't know how long it will take, probably several months the least. No, of course not, if you want to quit this you can get back to your emails. Don't worry about the others, when we can handle each other we are able to get along with a regular person. No matter how this will turn out, we will have advantage from learning so there is no chance for being useless. He got a little receiver injected under his skin and you will get a bracelet with an emergency button. If you feel threatened, press it once, we will get notified and be there within a minute. If you are in complete distress, keep it pressed for at least 3 seconds and Loki will get... a little electronic tickle. In that case, we also get notified but he won't be able to move for a few minutes. I know, that sounds fun, but just use this in case of emergency."

While processing what you heard you realized you relaxed completely. Resting the ankle of one foot on the knee of the other, you sprawled out on the chair, eating the cashews from your hand. You immediately snapped back to attention, not wanting to be taken as disrespectful.

"Relax Y/N. Don't act like I'm the president. I'm just a normal man. With a genius mind and unbelievable abilities, but - just a man."

You caught Clint next to you rolling his eyes, facepalming.

"So, what do you say? Interested? Oh, and of course you will get paid for your service. Catering and all essentials you need are on me. Don't worry about that. And we have room for your fishies."

"Ehm, well, it sounds really exciting. And since nothing ever happens to me, I'm seduced to say yes right away. But,", you held up one finger, "I would like to meet Loki first. Oh, and I want to know why the other two quit."

"We can arrange that. And they quit because he pissed them off too much. No life threat, he can just be a little pain in the ass. Uhm, do you want to meet him now?"

#loki #loki x reader #loki slow burn #loki x female reader #loki fiction #marvel fan fiction #marvel #slow burn #loki fanfic #nessa maurice #fanfic simple

[dxmedstudent]

i'm 20 and i'm worried about how overly fussy i am with dating men. i do think it's a maturity thing and i'm still trying to outgrow the ridiculous expectations i have for a boyfriend but i always seem to get bored of the guys i've talked to/dated. idk why but guys that show vulnerability make me uncomfortable?? i think it's the ideas i hold about 'masculinity' and i don't want to think like that anymore. any tips to move past this way of thinking?

Hey, friend. What an interesting ask, thank you for writing in. I‘m going to treat you with a rambling post, but I’ll  try to break it up so that it’s less boring. Don’t be hard on yourself; you’re still learning what you want and need. You’re still really young, and what you want in a partner can change a lot as you yourself grow as a person. What might help is if you reflect on what you actually want. Firstly, what are you actually seeing a person for? There’s an assumption that everyone wants a longterm relationship which leads to marriage, kids, a mortgage and a dog. But not everyone wants that or is ready to even think about that. So you do you. Do you want just to date to have fun? Or a casual relationship? What about FWB? Just sex?  A longterm relationship? Kids and a house? Or just to muddle along and see what happens? Because I think a lot of ourselves don’t really think enough about just what we expect out of seeing people. It’s OK if this changes; lots of people start off wanting to be casual, but get serious, or think they want something serious but realise that they don’t. The key is to be open to reflecting on what, right now, will make you happy. And if you even want to be dating at all. It’s OK if the answer is ‘no’, or if you don’t want what everyone else wants for you. The best way to find someone you really want is to not be afraid of being alone. I wonder if you might get bored partly because you’re not sure what you want out of dating; a lot of young people don’t necessarily want a long term relationship or to plan too far ahead, and that’s OK, too. Young people are under a lot of pressure to date, have sex and eventually get married and have kids, but a lot of people just don’t feel ready for that, or might not want that at all. Women, in particular are bombarded messages about how miserable it is to be single, and how we need a man and kids to make us complete. A lot of that pressure can come from other women as well as parents and friends. But not all women feel ready for that, or want that, and pressuring ourselves to rush into relationships can lead to unhappiness because people feel they need to have ‘someone’ for the sake of not being single. I’ve seen people put up with relationships that looked pretty unsatisfying from the start, and I always wondered how much of that was the fear of being alone, of being unloved and of being seen to be single. Perhaps take time out of dating to reflect on who you are right now, and what you want out of life. Not just out of dating, but also out of life in general. Look after the whole of your life, and work towards the things that will give you happiness. Make sure you have a life outside of dating; there are no guarantees any relationship will work out, and anyhow, life is more than just romance. If talking to a guy isn’t interesting or exciting, don’t keep dating him; you have to really want to keep seeing someone for it to work. It sounds like you know that, which is why you’re trying to change your way of thinking, and I really respect the thought you’ve put into what’s not been working for you. That’s actually pretty mature, so  don’t be harsh on yourself.

Men are people, too. It’s hard to tell if your dates start out really promising and you then get bored, or if perhaps it was hard to be enthusiastic to begin with? Though if you find your enthusiasm for them wearing off, it sounds like it might very much relate to your expectations for masculinity. When you get to know a man, and he starts to be more open and vulnerable with you, that goes against what we’re taught about masculinity. We’re told that guys are meant to be tough, silent logical and unemotional. But you and I know that men are people with feelings just like anyone else. People who are moved deeply, who have complex feelings and their own fears and hopes and issues. Society may view women as weak for having emotions, but it at least allows us to express them (even if it does mock us for them anyway); men are under pressure to hold back and keep everything they feel to themselves lest they are seen as weak, and well, feminine. This isn’t very healthy for guys, and I think you’re right to point out that we as women can also enforce unfair standards if we insult men for showing vulnerability. In turn, men will tend to find it harder to open up to friends and family, and are more likely to perhaps rely on only their partner, if they rely on anyone at all, because there are few contexts in which men are allowed to express their feelings.

Get him off that pedestal. Try to reframe how you see the concept of a date or boyfriend. I know that when you first start seeing someone they are shiny and new and seem to be amazing, but also really mysterious. When you start seeing someone, it’s hard not to get ahead of oneself because there’s actually very little we know about them. But putting them on a pedestal will ultimately make it difficult to have an equal relationship with them as a real person.  A guy is just a guy; no different from your male friend or brother or father or male colleague, they will just occupy a different place in your life. We get bombarded with a lot of ideals about what a romantic partner should be like, but really, in the end they are just another person; merely a really good friend you fancy the pants off, rather than a creature we should keep to a higher standard than all other humans. It wouldn’t surprise you that your friends have feelings and are sometimes vulnerable. Think about what it is about vulnerability that makes you feel uncomfortable, but also about what that discomfort is. Is it that you feel it makes them weak? Perhaps it’s a bit scary to see someone you admire with weaknesses or being sad? Perhaps it makes you uncomfortable because you yourself don’t like opening up- there could be many reasons. What do we even want in a partner, anyway? Then you need to think about what you want in a partner, and whether your expectations are what you really want, or are right for you. There are things that are non-negotiable, ideally, this list should be as short and sensible as possible, because it rules out a lot of people. The more things that are non-negotiable, the harder it might be to find someone to meet your criteria. My thoughts on this are basically: I want to find a decent person who I really gel with and who I can build a life with. If I focus on things like how tall or chubby (etc) they are, it’ll rule out lots of perfectly nice people who might be just right, on really arbitrary grounds. That said, we ALL have non-negotiable criteria, even if they are something like ‘is respectful’ and ‘100% understands consent’. I’m just a believer in making sure those criteria truly matter.  And there are things that are nice but not essential. For example, liking the same band, or having the same hobby; you would probably want someone you were seeing to have stuff in common with you in general, but not all your interests would have to line up. You don’t mention what your expectations are, but you can try to remind yourself that most qualities are seasoning; added extras. It might be nice if you like the same band, or the same game, but it’s by no means essential. Types are for blood, not people. I’ve always been a bit wary of the idea of a ‘type’; it feels like limiting yourself to a narrow set of attributes that might be charming, but honestly? lots of people who are different than that can also be perfectly nice and might also be good for you. I’m not a massive crush person, I don’t fall for many people at all, which makes dating even more like looking for a needle in a haystack. But the people I’ve liked have been pretty varied; they aren’t linked by ethnicity or weight or height or particular interests and I guess what I liked about them all was a little different. I just don’t see how some people can say ‘I only like blondes’ or ‘only muscly guys turn me on’, like there are so many cute things about people out there in the world, are you really going to tell me that if someone doesn’t have blue eyes or big boobs, ripped abs, lots of cash or a flash car etc that you wouldn’t find them attractive!? Because half of liking someone is finding little dorky things about them that might not even be remotely conventionally attractive and realising that it makes them kind of cute. Regardless, the real problem with types is that they can sometimes be a way of reliving familiar but ultimately unhelpful ground. Some of my friends really do have ‘types’, and it makes me worry for them, because they keep coming across similar problems in their relationships again and again and I can’t help but feel that it might be because they are picking people with similar kinds of issues, and come up against the same wall as last time. I think examining what we’re attracted to, and what that says about ourselves, and how compatible that combination is with our actual happiness is pretty important, and that’s only something we can et through practice and learning from previous relationships alon the way. There’s no shame in things not working out in the past; it helps us do better next time around. This isn’t to say that it’s wrong to be attracted to something, but some things can be unhealthy, and attraction to something doesn’t necessarily mean there’s compatibility, either. We can be attracted to people with qualities that bring out the best in us, or bring out the worst; our attraction to something doesn’t guarantee that it works for us. What each person needs to do is work out the things that attract them which are good for them, or work on their self until what attracts them is good for them because they are in a much healthier state mentally and in their life.  We all have issues; we all have different ways of thinking, and ways in which our past affects who we are. We all have hurts, and different  ways in which we react to situations. Accepting that we’re human, and that interpersional relationships can be hard (and therefore require thought and work) means that we can work on understanding ourselves and the people who are in our lives. Utimately, in the long term, we all need people who can bring out the best in us, but who don’t bring out our worst qualities or insecurities. Good luck, and I hope you find what you’re looking for :D

#askdx #ask dx #dxdates #dx dates #dating #relationships #advice

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

I know you mentioned how you feel when you see people write characters having bipolar disorder or autism who don't know what it's like, so I'd love to ask your POV on this: Do you think Schneider exhibits any signs of being bipolar or having autism? A few characteristics of his remind me of a family member who is bipolar, but as someone who personally isn't and admittedly doesn't know a ton about bipolar disorder or autism, I'd love to know your thoughts instead of having uninformed headcanons.

Ooh I love this question!! Thanks for thinking of me to ask it. My answer got longer than expected, surprise surprise, so it’s an essay behind the cut now. :)

I also love Schneider and find him easier to understand and write than just about anybody, so I feel pretty comfortable getting inside his head and musing about all this. 

For the record as to where I’m coming from here, I am autistic and have bipolar disorder (bipolar 1 technically), and I also have combined-type ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder (I’m quite something). 

I’ve never seen anyone connect Schneider to autistic traits before, and I’m generally thrilled to headcanon my faves as on the spectrum, so I had to think about this. He definitely has interests, but I wouldn’t say he has an intense focus on any specific things in that autistic way. He makes eye contact easily and a lot, and off the top of my head I don’t remember him making any comments that would indicate sensory issues (about noise or clothing texture, for example). He doesn’t seem stuck to specific routines, and his diet is eclectic but not rigid.

He does seem pretty oblivious to social cues? But in an overeager, he steamrolls right past them kind of way…and he often immediately corrects himself when his words come out offensive, because he can tell the difference between what people think it’s okay to say or not. He likes puzzles and mechanical things, but so do lots of neurotypical people. His voice is very expressive, not a monotone, and he’s very comfortable with physical affection.

Honestly, every autistic person is different so it’s totally possible to be on the spectrum and not have some of the ‘usual’ traits (for example, I don’t make much eye contact and am blatantly autistic in a lot of ways, but I’m very comfortable in crowds and loud days like the 4th of July don’t bother me). But I don’t see much canon evidence for Schneider being autistic that isn’t better explained by him having a serious case of ADHD. 

That’s the stuff that he and I have in common, as a matter of fact…he has a billion hobbies and is overenthusiastic and full of energy and impulsive, and he’s often mentally and emotionally moving so fast that he doesn’t even notice he’s pushed past people’s personal boundaries. Trying to be Victor’s best man or inviting himself over to the Alvarez apartment all the time is never because Schneider doesn’t care that they may not want him involved–he’s just so excited to be a part of things that he doesn’t stop and think first, and that’s super ADHD of him.

Now the bipolar question is such a fun one for me! I feel like bipolar people who don’t end up violent or committed are waaaay underrepresented in media, and I tend to see those traits everywhere. Some of my favorite characters I love because they remind me of me, and could definitely be coded bipolar.

It’s really common for bipolar people to struggle with addiction, which obviously Schneider does. I don’t have that history personally, but I completely understand the way bipolar people can use drugs and alcohol to self-medicate the symptoms of the disorder. 

They can also go through periods where they turn to sex in an unusually intense way, and we know Schneider’s a big fan of sex, but I wouldn’t say he’s presented as being unusual with it…just as a guy who likes casual sex and is able to find willing partners.

Schneider does have a proven record of not only gambling but impulsive spending, both bipolar traits. He sees most of his problems as just being different forms of addiction, but that makes sense for him–and I’ve read about people whose bipolar behavior was masked by their addictions until they got sober.

So if we look at him sober, then the question is, does he go through periods of depression and mania that are bad enough it interferes with his life? And I can’t say that I see any major signs of that. He’s weird but has a decent grip on reality, he doesn’t hit patches where he thinks he’s invulnerable and capable of everything, and if he faces major depression, it’s never come up when the show has discussed Penelope’s experience with it. 

To me, Schneider just seems like he’s living with ADHD that was never treated, and he’s been an addict since he was very young…and his seriously addictive personality is always looking for new outlets even while he tries to stay sober from drugs and alcohol.

BUT I have to add that I’m bipolar and while my depression looks pretty much like you probably would expect when you think ‘depression’…my mania doesn’t fit the ‘standard’ tells at all. I’ve never had a problem with gambling or shopping. I’ve never had reckless, casual, or unusually frequent sex. I’ve never tried drugs (which is good! because addiction runs in my family) because I’m weird and somehow I always feel much safer in the harshness of reality.

So my mania looks like skipping meals and not needing to sleep and having the most brilliant ideas, all of which will absolutely work out this time, and because I’m not getting any kind of treatment for my ADHD, manic me is the only version of me that’s able to channel my energy into successfully creating anything–it’s like mania balances the unfocused part of my brain. If I can stay mildly manic, I’m actually in a pretty good place…but of course if I had control over it, it wouldn’t be a potentially dangerous disorder.

Point is, is it possible Schneider has a form of bipolar disorder combined with his addictions? Sure, if it presents atypically or is milder than my experience and thus easier for him to function through. It’s definitely possible that he’s always struggled with intense moods and used to ‘treat’ them with drugs and alcohol, and now that he’s sober uses his hobbies and mindfulness to manage them instead. And of course, if we really want to headcanon things outside canon, we could say he’s totally bipolar but on medication for it so he’s fairly stable. 

But since you asked me :) I would say he’s got adult ADHD to a highly visible degree, and had an emotionally stunted childhood that left him with a childlike sense of joy towards the world and other people. He doesn’t seem to have the extreme uncontrollable ups and downs that come with bipolar disorder, or the sensory issues and difficulty understanding social situations and people that’s so common for those of us on the autism spectrum.

(Side note: it’s really, really common for people to have bipolar disorder and ADHD, or ADHD while also being autistic, or to be autistic and also bipolar. They all combine a lot, and have overlapping traits, so I’m not sure if maybe those overlapping traits could explain the ways your family member reminds you of Schneider?) 

Both those disorders are super important to me though in terms of representation, and if anybody bipolar/autistic has claimed Schneider as one of us, I wouldn’t take that away from them! Because he’s sweet and loyal and he struggles but keeps trying and there are worse role models for people like me.

If anybody does see autistic/bipolar traits in him, I would love to hear the counterargument. I know a few other bipolar people, but don’t know that many people on the autism spectrum, so I could totally be missing things.

#schneider #odaat #one day at a time #autism #adhd #bipolar disorder #autism spectrum disorder #spoilers #long post #meta #mine

[for-kh]

on anger

okay so I swear I thought I was a more mature person but, even in your impaired state, seeing you texting, calling, messaging girls from your past fills me with inexplicable rage. Of course I'm not going to question or get angry with you now... that's the last thing you need. But I think that's what makes it so hard. I wanna talk about it with you and just laugh it off and accept things and let them go. But right now I can't!!! So my thinking-too-much mind is just festering with some truly hurtful thoughts!

And the things you've said... like how you think you like your ex better than me. And that part of you wants to break up with me. I know this isn't you being fully aware of your surroundings and that you still have some healing to do before everything feels normal to you again... but hearing you say that in your own voice with a dead serious expression pierces me. I think I am a strong person but, still, my heart is pretty soft.

Honestly, I couldn't care less about the dumb flings. Everyone wants to have a bit of fun now and then. But the emotional things are what feel like little steak knives stabbing me in the chest.

The messages you showed me on your phone where you'd send PARAGRAPHS upon paragraphs of your writing that I enjoy so much but directed towards another girl only like a month before we met?? telling a girl she is the first thing you think of when waking up weeks before we started dating?? I mean... isn't that some real feelings kind of stuff?? you've never told me that I'm what you think of when waking up. And the girl ended up not responding to you. So together it feels like I'm just a second choice. Frrrrrriiccckk that hurts to think about.

And the fact that she didn't even respond. Like, what you wrote was truly something touching and honest. But she didn't even appreciate that! That angers me!! How can she not see that?? Your ability to express your emotions through art, writing, films, whatever, is such an attractive, rare, precious thing. I saw this long ass message you wrote from your heart to her and the way she ignored you made me just go.......

There's this weird storm inside of me that is made from retrograde jealousy, insecurity about my body, and also a strangely high sense of dignity that comes out every now and then. This is so dumb to admit but I just want to be honest with you. I want this blog to be my honest feelings and thoughts through all of this.

Just to every girl in your past (except the nice ones where it ended well and you are still friends maybe)... they can go shove a sharpened pencil up their pee hole..

Anyways I know it's not your fault, baby. You're dealing with so much and your brain is still healing and rebalancing and becoming more and more aware so I know you're not doing these things to intentionally hurt me. After all you're commitment phobic yet you wanted to be in a relationship with me after one date. I know you care. Seeing those ocld messages and you trying to dial them up and such just unleashed a primal monster of envy in me.

I feel better already having typed this mess all out.

[PMS edit a week later:

I think PMS is making me really emotional right now and I haven't talked to you or your mom today so I'm just feeling a little sad and worried. It's making me think about this stuff again and I didn't wanna make a whole new post on it so I'm just gonna ramble a bit more here cause it felt good to let it out last time.

I was thinking about talking to you on the phone a couple days ago. You told me more about your exes. I'm not sure how much of it is true or not but really... I couldn't change the subject. Part of me still wonders if the things you said are true even if you are still waking up, like how truth comes out of a drunk person's mouth.

Telling me you want to break up with me multiple times...i keep hearing that in my head. You told me I had the same name as your ex and showed me on your phone a Gabriella?? I wonder if that's why you insist on calling me Gabe. Maybe that's not even your ex. Who knows. I keep asking you who these girls are but you can't really give me an answer.

Is this dumb?? Is it dumb for me to be crying over this? I had a bit of a selfish moment in the hospital when I was there last time. I'm sorry, I got a little upset. I don't think you noticed, though. I kept trying to talk to you, to get you to look at me, but you just kept dialing this girl you had a one night stand with or something. And then liking all of this one girl's photos on Instagram (lol) that you seemed like you knew. You kept just doing that and talking about your exes I just got overwhelmed.

I think the combination of seeing you stuck in the hospital and doing and saying these things about your past relationships and barely noticing me there (even though this is not your fault and not intentional) just kind of broke me and I teared up a little. Your mom wasn't there, don't worry!! I won't make her worry about such silly stuff as me!

Do you still like me? It's hard to imagine. I want to be there for you through all of this, and I will be. I can't help but think it was all some sort of cosmic coincidence that you asked me to be your girlfriend just a week before this all happened. But it's not just something I feel like I have to do... it's something I want to do. I feel so attached to you. In like two weeks you made a place in my heart. It sounds sappy to you I'm sure but it's true!!

I know it's likely that you still, well, like me. But it's hard to even imagine when you say your ex was better than me. I'm really trying. Even though it's hard I'm really trying to not take these things too personally. You're not a mean person. You wouldn't say things like that to me directly. But my fear comes from wondering if there is a grain of truth in any of it.

But, really, I feel strong. I know you are strong and I know so am I and so is your family. There's bound to be things in this process that make us feel like we're stumbling, or doing something wrong, or that we've gotten lost. I think that's all part of this craziness. One of my challenges is gonna be coping with the stuff I've written about in this post. I'm up for it.]

#by me

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK]

See also: @pankite​ 

CHAPTER NINE

The world was nothing but a blur through the endless stream of tears. Anna's body shook from a combination of the biting night chill and her own sobs. She had lost track of the amount of time she lay curled up under the sturdy oak by the cafeteria building with her face buried into her legs.

She replayed her argument with her sister in her mind over and over again. She desperately wished for either her Papa or Kristoff to come wrap their arms around her and tell her how she didn't just fuck up any chances she had of getting her sister back… at least, not completely. Even if Elsa accepted this, there would always be that awkward tension between them now. A silent disapproval that sent Anna into another fresh round of sobs just thinking about it.

And now she understood why her mother did all that she did. Why Idunn pretended Anna never called or sent anything to Elsa. It made her heart throb in agony to think that her mother hated her so much that she would purposefully sabotage her from being in contact with her older sister over something like her sexuality. Anna cursed her thirteen-year-old self for proudly announcing her first kiss to her mother, and for being naive enough to trust that she would accept her no matter what. That family was stronger than hate. Never in a million years did she think that Idunn would cut her off and try to turn Elsa against her!

And just as they were getting close again, Anna had to go and screw it up… possibly permanently. She didn't even have the decency to stay and comfort her sister. Instead, she took off, too cowardly to hold still and listen to her in case Elsa changed her mind and told her how much she hated her.

"Hey!" came a sudden, cheerful voice that shattered the silence. "What the heck are you doing out here, all by yourself?"

"...P-Punzie?" Anna whimpered and lifted her face from her legs to look up at the blurry form of her friend. A shudder went through her and she huddled more into herself for warmth. "W-What are you d-doing? It's late..." She wiped at her raw eyes in a vain attempt to clear them before Rapunzel got close enough to see her in the state she was in. As if her shaking voice didn't give her away first. "I-It's nothing, I- I just needed some air."

There was very little hesitation before the brunette sank down next to Anna, an arm automatically draping over her back. "It is not 'nothing'. Are you okay? What's wrong, Anna?"

The warmth that accompanied the arm helped ease Anna and she cuddled into Rapunzel unconsciously. "Punzie..." She let out a sigh and sniffed. "I- I fucked up. I got into a fight with Elsa and…" She looked at the brunette. "Um… h-how do you really feel… about gay people?"

Rapunzel stared back at her for a long moment, as if trying to think of an answer. Then she whispered, "Sorry, I'm, um, not used to hearing language like that. Can you repeat the question?"

"Punzie," Anna sighed softly. "Please, be honest with me; I'm serious." She paused for a moment, praying that she wasn't about to make another mistake. "How do you feel about people in the LGBT spectrum? You defended them earlier…" She tried to smile reassuringly to show her friend that she wouldn't be mad about her answer. "I just want to know now that we're not trapped in a tent with Pastor Frollo."

"Well…" The girl was very obviously squirming, but she rushed on, "I don't feel any certain way, y'know? They're just people. Like, I'm really struggling with that and how it relates to God and Christianity, but I don't know how to… I kinda… What's the big freakin' deal? Who cares who somebody loves or doesn't love? It just seems like there's a lot of sin in the world, bad sin, dangerous sin! And we waste so much of our time on homosexuality instead of the stuff we should be working on, like… homelessness, or murder, or domestic abuse, or… I don't know!"

Anna smiled a little wider, her chest warm with affection for the rambling woman. "I think you're a really nice person, Punzie." She rested a hand on her shoulder. "If I were to tell you someone we know is gay, would you treat them different?"

At that, Rapunzel scoffed. "Probably. Like, not on purpose, though. I just have never had any gay friends. I mean, there's a boy in my class everybody's pretty sure is, but like, without knowing for… sure…" Then the thread of their conversation started to catch up with her, and her eyes widened. "Wait. You're telling me… somebody here is? A gay kid came to Bible camp?!"

"Yeah," Anna said with a half-snort. She decided to take the plunge, releasing Rapunzel's shoulder so she could nervously hug herself again. "It's me."

"It's… you're… wait, what are you saying? You're a lesbian? No. But you don't… I mean you're so…" Swallowing hard, Rapunzel started hugging her own knees. "M-maybe I should stop saying things before I say a thing that's really stupid."

"Bi, actually. I have no feelings for you or any of the other girls, before you ask," she said bluntly, "nor do I randomly want to bang you, Punzie. I like girls just like you like boys, but I doubt you want to jump every guy's bone, right?" She tried to grin but it came out as more of a half-smile, half-grimace.

"A-ah." Her cheeks were filling with pinkness, and at first Anna was worried that she really had thought those things. But what she said next was, "S-sorry, I don't normally spend much time thinking about… um…" Lowering her voice to barely a whisper, she finished, "Ess-ee-ex."

Anna relaxed and let a tired giggle past her lips. "That's okay. Just thought I would get those stereotypes out of the way before you asked about them." She leaned against the tree, the stress finally taking its toll and she looked ready to fall asleep. "Anyway, I told Elsa. She… I won't say took it badly - because really, she didn't - but I thought I might as well stay away for now so she can… sort out things, I guess."

Her voice was a little more hushed in a worried way. "Ohhh. So… oh wow, you came out to two people in the same day. And in a campground full of Christians! I'm… maybe this is the wrong thing to take away from this, but you're pretty brave."

"I feel more tired than brave," Anna confessed. "I just… I don't want to hide it anymore and sit there like a good girl while people talk down on people like me. Elsa… well, we got into an argument and it came out. I came out. With you, I just feel like I can trust you." Anna sighed, "Is it okay if I crash in your cabin tonight? I- I don't think I should go back to mine yet."

"She took it that bad?" Rapunzel asked, reaching over to perch a hand on Anna's bicep. "That sucks… I'm really sorry. After the past few days, I started to think maybe you could be the one to unfreeze the Ice Queen, y'know? But maybe…" Shaking her head, she said, "Nah, I shouldn't say anything about her, either. I talk a lot more than I should, if you haven't noticed."

"Elsa's not a bad person," Anna insisted to her friend, frowning. "She's our Mama's kid just as much as I'm Papa's… actually, Elsa took it much better than I expected. I just can't face her right now." She stood up on numb legs, groaning at the pins and needles that were only intensified from the cold. "Thank you, Punzie, for listening..."

"Wait!" Popping up next to Anna, she caught her by the elbow. "You don't have to run off. Um… yeah, Snow is sleeping over with Aurora and Belle. So if you wanna use her bunk…"

"Thanks." Anna smiled at her and they started walking towards the cabin. There was a pleasant silence between the two, just the quiet song of cicadas in the distance. Then Anna's face fell.

"I don't know how I'm going to face the kids tomorrow… I mean, they'll know something's up…"

Shrugging, Rapunzel said, "I dunno, either. We'll just have to see how it shakes out when we get there, right? I mean, maybe you can just pretend everything's the same and, um, see if Elsa will follow your lead?"

"Yeah, I'll try that. Better than nothing, anyway."

Entering the cabin made Anna let out a sigh of pleasure at the warmth. "You know, it's been a long time since I had a sleepover," she exclaimed, trying to lighten the mood, and added, "If you aren't tired, we can watch a movie, or do each other's hair or something!" The thought of a fun night helped Anna take her mind off her sister and the day ahead.

"No movies; camp rules, remember?" But then she hastily followed up with, "But I would! Totally! Um… yeah, my hair's a choppy mess, but if you wanna put it in little braids, that sounds cool! And I can put yours in a French braid — my mom taught me!"

Anna's face fell briefly, having forgotten that rule, but it lifted again when Rapunzel offered to play with her hair. "I would like that," she said, and started working on freeing her hair from their own braids, shaking it free and running her fingers through until her hair fell in soft auburn waves, roughly to about her shoulder blades.

Having mostly just her dad and Kristoff, Anna didn't do things like this often. It had been Elsa or Mama who used to do her hair when she still visited, and Esmeralda taught her how to do her signature twin braids on her own without making them look like a sloppy mess. So she was really excited to see her hair in a different style than what she was used to.

"It's so pretty and soft," Rapunzel whispered once she was running a brush through it, voice warm and as soothing as the motions. "I'm jealous; I tried to go blonde when my hair was super long, but the treatments kinda fried it and I ended up just chopping it all off."

She hummed in sympathy but was mostly distracted by the therapeutic feel of the brush and the soothing sound of Rapunzel's voice. "You look good the way you are now," she reassured, eyes closing. "I mean, I'm sure you would've looked great with long blond hair, but the way you look now suits you." She cracked an eye open to throw a warm smile over at Rapunzel. "Besides, long-haired blondes are my type, so that might've been awkward." She couldn't help but worry that the joke was a little much but it was out now.

"O-oh, really?" The laughter that followed was distinctly nervous, but mainly good-natured. "I, um… thank you? Wait, that's probably not the right thing to say here…" She let out a little growl of frustration at herself. "I promise, I'm not gonna be this dumb in a few days. You're really cool, I could tell from the first day! This is just… y'know, new territory. An adjustment for my hetero brain."

A chuckle was followed by Anna resting her hand on Rapunzel's arm and giving it a pat. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't make jokes when you only just found out…" She paused and smiled softly to herself. "Thank you again, Rapunzel, you don't know how much this means to me."

After a few more contemplative seconds, she said, "I can guess. When I fight with my parents, I just have to lock the door to my room upstairs and wait it out for a while because I can't face them. Or they can't handle talking to me without being, y'know, all parental about it and acting like I'm just a stupid kid. Sometimes, it feels like I'm gonna be in there for the rest of my life. So… even though I don't really get what you're going through, I definitely understand what it's like to need space."

The smile that next graced Anna's lips was a tad bitter. "I still feel bad. Dropping a bomb and then leaving her like that. I just didn't know what else to do… Elsa's always liked being alone when she feels overwhelmed and I couldn't stand the way she looked at me." She shivered and hugged herself.

"Well… she's probably in the same place I am. It's new. And like you said, she's overwhelmed. Give it some time, okay? Talk to her tomorrow. And even if she's still freaking out, then that just means she needs more time, right? It's probably harder for her 'cause she's known you longer."

"You're right," Anna sighed. "All I can do is sit and wait for tomorrow and see where we go from there." She desperately hoped that Elsa would still want her in her life. That they could go forward together without being split apart for a second and possibly final time. The optimist inside her piped up that Elsa wouldn't do that — that she would love her all the same, and Anna decided to believe that for now.

Despite the cold whisper from the other half of her psyche that told her she had thought that about her mother, too, and had been burned for it.

"Hey, how's that braid coming?"

"About half done," Rapunzel told her with a smile, fingers making quick work of entwining the three groupings of hair. "So… um, you and girls. How's that working out so far?"

"My first kiss was from a girl." Anna's voice wasn't as cheery as usual but it was clear by her fond tone that she had perked up from the question. "My friend Mulan surprised me by kissing me just before she had to go back to China to be with her family. And not just a friend-kiss. That's when I really started thinking about my sexuality. I went on a date with a few boys here and there, and even went out with a guy named Hans for a couple of months, but there is something about women that I find I like a bit more." She giggled, "Then my ex-girlfriend Esme waltzed into my life, and there was no more doubting where my main interest lay."

"And I haven't even been on a real date-date with Flynn yet," she breathed in wonder. "And here's you, figuring out you're… mostly-gay, or whatever, and kissing two girls when I've barely kissed the one boy! Like, we're about the same age, right? I always thought I was saving myself for marriage, and that it was a really good thing. Is that dumb? Should I be dating more, even though I think Flynn is the right man for me?"

"If it feels right, that's all that matters, Punzie." The warm words of her Papa from the day she had confessed her conflicted feelings came back to Anna, so she passed them along: "If you think Flynn is the man for you, then you don't need to date anyone else. I don't find it dumb that you're waiting for marriage, or not kissing, especially if you aren't comfortable. You should do things at your own pace and not feel ashamed for it." Anna shook her very gently, to make sure she was still listening. "If this Flynn loves you, he will wait until you are ready. If he doesn't and tries to push you, he isn't worth it."

At those words, Rapunzel smiled and let out a soft chuckle. "Well… he does push for kisses. But not too much. And he never, ever brings up going further; he knows we're waiting and it's as important to him as it is to me." Then she added in a whisper, "But maybe I do want to try kissing now; I mean, we're over eighteen, right? And we're still together after a year of courtship."

"If you feel you're ready, then kiss him," Anna encouraged. "And don't just not do it if you think that it's something the Bible frowns upon. Kissing isn't a sin, believe me." She remembered sharing that particular worry with her father and having him exaggeratedly regale all the times her Bible-strict mother used to kiss him before they were married, much to Anna's embarrassment. "Congratulations on that, by the way! A year!"

"Thanks," she giggled with a bashful smile. "He's such a dork, but he's my dork." Then she patted Anna's shoulders. "All done! You know, I think I have an extra shower cap, if you wanna bag it up so it'll still look nice tomorrow."

Anna stood up and walked over to the mirror over Snow's desk. She was instantly struck by just how different and pretty she looked with her hair draped into a single, elegant braid down her back. She looked kind of like a redheaded version of Elsa, and the thought made Anna smile.

"I think I'd like that; we'll see what the kids have to say about my new look." She spun on her heel and felt the slight smack of the braid against her shoulder, which made her giggle. "What do you think, Rapunzel?"

"I think you look fantastic!" she gushed, clapping her hands. "And not just because it's my handiwork, I swear! Like, your hair is just made to be braided, dude!"

Snorting at the little "dude" thrown in there, she looked back at the mirror and smiled, admiring the image looking back… and her traitorous brain wondered how Elsa would react to seeing her like this. Would she be impressed at how mature she looked? Would she say anything?

"I think we should head to bed now," Anna announced after a long moment. Her enthusiasm was curbed by the unexpected bout of tiredness that came with the thought. She cursed herself inwardly for ruining her good mood again. "It's really late."

"Yeah," Rapunzel admitted with a sad little nod. "I mean, if you need to talk more, I'll be just a few feet away, though. Don't be afraid to speak up! Oh, and um, I don't have an extra toothbrush or anything, but I have some jammies! If you want 'em. They have little green lizards all over." After a second, she added in a mutter, "I like lizards."

It didn't take long for Anna to get dressed and ready for bed, her hair carefully tucked into a shower cap to keep the beautiful braid intact while she slept. The pajamas were a little small on her since Rapunzel was shorter, but Anna didn't mind as she slipped hesitantly into Snow's bunk.

"She won't be mad?"

"Nah. I'll explain if she is, but I kinda doubt that'll happen. She's not petty." As she snuggled into her bunk, Rapunzel whispered across, "Hey, Anna?"

Anna snuggled into the blankets, which were made from some very warm, soft material that felt like heaven against her bare patches of skin. "Yes Punzie?" she replied when she got comfortable, already feeling the toll of the day taking over and the dark blanket of unconsciousness starting to settle in her brain.

"I… I know it was hard to trust me, with your secret and all… but I…" Her voice was a little more strained when she spoke again. "I'm so glad I stood up to Pastor Frollo today. So, so glad."

"Thanks for standing up to him, Rapunzel," Anna murmured sleepily, hiding a smile into her pillow. "I'm really glad you did, too. It's really nice knowing someone cares." She blinked and let out a sigh. "You're a good friend and I'm really glad to have met you."

She struggled to stay awake and say more, but the bed was too comfortable and the pull of sleep too tempting. With a last hum, she closed her eyes and gave in.

                                         To Be Continued...

#forkanna writes #bind us together lord #elsanna fanfiction #pankite #forkanna the writer