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corpsedaydream · 4 years

Note

hi i love ur work so much and i had a request! corpse and reader are dating and she isn’t necessarily what fans think his type is. she isn’t really goth and doesn’t watch anime so when she sees corpse talking about e girls and goth girls and all that stuff she feels left out and like she isn’t who he wants to be with, and when he’s streaming with her (she’s also a youtuber), he’s like talking about an anime show and reader feels left out and the whole live chat is just saying how she doesn’t belong there and that corpse could do so much better ect. so she has a breakdown in the bathroom and he reads the comments about her and gets upset and defends her which ends with him cuddling the fuck out of her and kissing away her tears idk just angst with a fluffy ending please i’m desperate 😔✌️💗

ooooooooooof i put myself in all the feels writing this and now i’m meant to just go to sleep like i’m not feeling some type of way smh

but!!!!!!!! i like how it turned out hehe, hope u enjoy

word count: 1.5k

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beach baby

Your freckles were a lot more prominent lately, but that was always something that happened during this time of year when summer was quickly approaching. As much as you felt a little insecure by the the little marks that were dotted all over your body, it came hand in hand with the excitement of being able to do all of your favourite things that just felt better to do in summer.

You were a beach baby through and through. Growing up, you lived in the one house your whole life that was right by the beach and when your family went on holidays, it was always to a holiday house that was by another beach. You could swim before you could walk or talk. When you did learn how to walk, your parents realised they had to keep an extra close eye on you at the beach because you’d always run down to the waves, not realising the danger in your toddler years. When you watched The Little Mermaid for the first time, you begged your mother to turn you into a mermaid so you could live a life under the sea. When you were a kid getting picked up from school, your after school activity was going to the beach. Whenever the school swimming carnival rolled around, it was always you who got nominated to do the races. When you were a dramatic teenager and found out the boy you liked kissed someone else, you went to the beach and wrote his name in the sand just to watch it get washed away by the sea.

Your life had always involved the beach and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Whenever the idea of falling in love with someone popped into your mind, you always thought it would happen with the beach involved in some way. And there had been a few surfer boys you’d had flings with, but none stuck. They never really made an impact on you.

But Corpse had.

The two of you were an unlikely pairing, the absolute definition of opposites attract, but it worked.

You’d met at a mutual friends house by chance and there was an undeniable spark from that very first moment.

“Sitting under the moon is a lot better than the sun.” The two of you had found yourselves in a light hearted argument that very first night. After getting introduced and realising there was a pull between you both, he had eventually grabbed your hand and brought you to come sit up on the rooftop with him.

“What? No way, dude.” You shook your head and laughed, he was everything you weren’t but all you wanted. “The moon is so pretty,” You agreed with him, “but the sun makes you warm and it’s so pretty when the sky is all blue with a couple of cute, white fluffy clouds. That’s the perfect weather to be out and about.”

“If you like going out and about.”

“You don’t like going outside?”

“Nah,” Corpse hesitated, contemplating on how honest he should be with the girl he’d just met but was feeling so comfortable around. “I can’t handle the world sometimes, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it. If someone came up to me and said you can spend your whole life under water as a mermaid but never be able to come back on land, I’d seriously consider.”

“Even after meeting me?” The tone shifted back to the playful flirting and you were grateful for it.

“Shut up and admire your moon.”

“I will, after all, the night sky is far superior.” He was holding firm in his opinion.

“I think it’s all really pretty.” You said honestly, and it was the truth. You were just as hypnotised by a moonlit sky with stars sparkling as you were with a daytime sky.

“I think you’re really pretty.”

He’d had your heart from that moment.

You’d actually gone to the beach today and spent a solid few hours there with friends and it had put you in such a blissful state. Making the drive to your boyfriends place so enjoyable, because you were also very excited to see him.

He’d left the door unlocked when you messaged him saying you were on your way. So when you arrived you let yourself in, shutting and locking the front door behind you, knowing Corpse was streaming and you were going to join him.

“Hi.” You whispered, opening the door to his office, not knowing if you should let your presence be known to stream yet. You always felt a little nervous when it came to his fans. The first time you joined him in a stream, all you could concentrate on was the amount of messages that stated how you were exactly wrong for Corpse. How you were the opposite to who he should be with. From there, it only progressed. You saw the hate comments and negative things that some of them had to say about you and it hurt.

“She’s here!” Corpse announced, so at least it was known to them that you would be joining him at some point, they had some warning and you hoped it meant you would receive a warmer welcome. “Hey, baby, get over here.” He opened his arms and you sat down on his lap, greeting him with a kiss before you both brought your attention back to his stream.

“Hi guys!” You greeted the stream, cautiously looking over the influx of messages, waiting for something negative but it seemed they were asking you about something. “I can see you guys asking, but I don’t really know what you’re talking about...” You trailed off before looking at Corpse. “What were you talking about?”

“Oh...” He started, “we were talking about an anime. (Y/N) isn’t really into anime, guys.” He laughed and you smiled but you could feel the anxiety start to build, you just knew this was going to cause a wave of hate to you.

“Hey, I loved Sailor Moon and Pokemon when I was a kid.” You attempted to make a joke, thinking it would gain approval of his fans but it only caused them to react worse.

The chat started moving faster, messages of,

‘LMAO of course she doesn’t know what we’re talking about’

‘Did she really just say Pokemon? She’s fucking basic’

‘What a fucking dumbass’

‘Dump her ass Corpse’

‘Ugh why the fuck did she come?’

‘WE DONT WANT YOU HERE’

‘Fuck off (Y/N)’

‘Corpse you can do so much better’

You could feel the tears welling up, each comment being another jab and you knew you had to leave or you would cry right there and they’d all hear just how they had gotten to you. Quickly, you got up, ignoring Corpse calling after you and trying to reach for you to bring you back to him.

Making your way to the bathroom, you washed your face in an attempt to calm yourself but it didn’t work at all. So instead, you sunk to the floor and let yourself cry. You couldn’t understand why they hated you, you loved him so much for exactly who he was, just as they did. Couldn’t they be happy if who he was with made him happy? Negative thoughts were swirling your mind. They were getting to you.

“(Y/N)?” Corpse cracked the door open, his face full of worry as he stepped inside the bathroom. “Oh, baby, hey, hey,” He was by your side in a moment, his hands finding your sun kissed cheeks as he left a kiss against your head before finding your vision. “I saw what they were saying. They’re wrong.”

“But what if they’re not, Corpse?” You couldn’t help but to argue back. “You deserve someone better for you.”

“Stop it, stop right now.”

“No, I mean, look at us... We’re complete opposites.”

“And so?” He responded. “Do you love me?”

“Yes, of course I do.”

“That’s all that matters.” He told you, and you knew he was right, it was just the hate comments were really playing on your mind.

“Is it, though? Don’t you want someone else?”

“No. Fuck no.” He wrapped his arms around you then, he knew you really needed reassurance right now and he was going to give it to you. “You’re fucking perfect, baby. My beach baby, I only want you.” He told you, bringing you onto his lap once more, only now you were on the bathroom floor. You wrapped your legs and arms around him, needing to be close to him.

“Please don’t leave me.” Your voice was barely audible when you’d whispered that but he heard it and it crushed his heart to know it was his audience that had made you feel this way.

“I won’t, ever.” He assured you, he was cradling you with a force now, ever so slightly rocking the two of you back and forth. “You don’t ever have to ask me that, I’m not going anywhere.”

#corpse husband #corpse #corpse imagine #corpse husband imagine #corpse x reader #request #writing #mine #GOODNIGHT #Anonymous #answered

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got-svt · 3 years

Text

signs

order up ! large americano at 75% sweetness, a slice of strawberry shortcake, and a slice of cherry pie with mingyu for anon <3 order notes : mingyu x reader, angst, fluff, a first date, brief mentions of other members, cameo from eunwoo bec i watched true beauty and was in need of another 97 liner, and a very nervous mingyu, he just wants everything to go well smh look, something’s written on your cup... hi ! for transparency’s sake this is an edited version of something that i posted a while back that i deleted. so if you are the anon who requested this but couldn’t find it, here it is now !

summary : all mingyu wanted was to go on one nice date with you, was that too much to ask? well, according to the universe, it was.

word count : ~2.8k

The first sign was he woke up a little too late, technically it wasn’t even a sign, considering that it was entirely his fault anyway. Mingyu had spent all of the previous night preparing for your date with him — making little sandwiches, cutting up some fruit, baking cookies to be put in little plastic containers. After hearing that you hadn’t been to the park in quite a while, never really having a reason to go, he decided that a picnic wasn’t too bad of an idea for a first date.

Mingyu had wanted to ask you out for the longest time, being friends with him ever since both of you knew how to talk. It was easy, your friendship with him. Neither of you ever felt like you had to put up some sort of front, or have walls up incredibly high. He asked you out in the most casual of ways too, like it wasn’t that big of a deal. You couldn’t tell but on the inside, he was freaking out — that came with not knowing how you’d react and the possibility of rejection.

“Are you free tomorrow?” Mingyu asked, unable to meet your eyes.

You nodded, slightly confused at his inability to match your gaze.

“Okay, I was thinking we can go to the park tomorrow since you told me you haven’t been there in a while. Maybe we could go on a picnic?” He spoke as if he didn’t start preparing for this days ago, looking up fun things to do while on a picnic or a park — picking wildflowers together was high up on the list of things he wanted to do with you.

“Oh, sure! I’ll text Wonwoo and the others to see if they want to join us—”

“No!” Mingyu exclaimed, a little too loud and a little too quickly, a hand in front of you like he was about to physically stop you from doing something. “I was thinking that it could be just the two of us, you know?”

He hoped you would pick up on it, the implication from the nervous tone in his voice, how when he finally gazed up at you with softness in his yes. He was asking you out, on a date. Mingyu wished that you could tell. Unfortunately for him, you didn’t.

You shrugged your shoulders before giving him a smile, “Sure! We’ll meet there at around 10?”

And he couldn’t tell that you didn’t pick up on it either.

Mingyu woke up groggy that morning, his phone on the bedside table, calling out to him with the sound of a text notification.

[Y/N]: where are you? I’m already here >:(

His eyes widened, falling off his bed in shock once he realized it was already five minutes past 10 am. Mingyu took a shower, put on his clothes, grabbed everything he needed, and sped past the door in twenty minutes. This was not how he planned it out in his head. Mingyu was supposed to surprise you at your place, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand. No matter, he still had the rest of the day to sweep you off your feet and ask you to be his.

The sun shone brightly that morning, but it was neither hot nor humid. It was actually the perfect to be outside, with multiple white clouds littering the pale blue sky, a soft breeze blowing through the blades of grass, children running around playing tag — their laughter filling the air. Mingyu smiled, determined that today was going to be perfect

His eyes scanned around the are for any sight of your familiar figure, eyes lighting up when he finally spots you. Mingyu makes his way over, the nervousness that slowly started to creep up on him becoming amplified once he realizes that you were talking to someone else.

The first thing he noticed was how big your smile was as you talked to this person, stretching across your face and crinkling your eyes. Did you ever smile this much around him? You stood a few feet away from the man, but you were very clearly comfortable around him — lightly pushing his shoulder as you laughed, peering up at him through your eye lashes. You finally notice him walking to you, waving your hand and beckoning him to move quicker.

“Hey Gyu!” You grinned, greeting him like you always did, a quick one armed side-hug.

“Hi, Yn.” Mingyu attempted a smile, but it felt a little restrained, gesturing to the person you were just talking to, “Who’s this?”

“Oh! This is Eunwoo, we dated a while ago but it never really worked out.” You shrugged, waving it off like it wasn’t that big of a deal. “You were taking so long and I happened to run into him so we were just catching up a bit.”

“I see..” He trailed off, holding a hand out for Eunwoo to shake. He had known you for years now, and yet he had never heard you mention an Eunwoo to him before. “Nice to meet you, man.”

“Likewise.” Eunwoo replied, shaking Mingyu’s hand before turning to face you. “I won’t keep you too long. My number’s still the same, we should meet up for coffee sometime.”

Mingyu couldn’t help but furrow his brows at the sight of you enthusiastically accepting Eunwoo’s invitation. The little tug on his heartstrings was hard to ignore as he watched you give a quick hug goodbye to your ex-boyfriend — a very attractive ex-boyfriend for that matter. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go, why did he have to wake up so late? If he had been there on time, you wouldn’t have been able to catch up with him for as long as you did. If he had stuck to his original plan of picking you up, you probably wouldn’t have seen him at all.

Kim Mingyu wasn’t the jealous type, but in that moment, he couldn’t help but feel exactly that. Especially when he had been pining after for you for so long now, he didn’t want it to come crashing down just because of one person.

“You’re pouting.” You commented, quickly noticing how uncharacteristically quiet he had become. The two of you walked side by side, hands ever so slightly brushing against one another. You hoped that the warm weather would be enough of an excuse for the red flush that made its way to your cheeks.

Mingyu shook his head, he didn’t mean to have you worrying for him. “Don’t worry about it.”

His reply made you even more skeptical, should there be something you’re meant to be worrying about? But you decided to drop the question, maybe it truly wasn’t that big of a deal.

You and Mingyu found a spot in a less crowded area of the park, you no longer the heard the sound of children screaming or their exhausted parents calling out over them. Instead the melodious sounds of birds tweeting up at the sky filled your ears, a delicate wind blew between the two of you, and the sun’s glare becoming much softer as it finally became covered by the clouds.

He takes out a blue picnic blanket and lays it flat on the ground, smoothing out imaginary creases in the process. You hold a hand out to him, wordlessly letting him know that you’d like to set the picnic up with him. Mingyu hands you the picnic basket, and you spent the next couple of minutes in silence as you tried to make everything look almost picture perfect. The silence was far from uncomfortable, manifested by the small smiles and the growing blushes on both of your faces. There was something rather domestic about the activity, handing him different containers of food, deciding together where everything should be placed.

“Did you make these yourself?” You asked once both of you finally settled down, gesturing to the wide array of food that lay in front of you.

Mingyu smiled, a hand on the back of his neck as he suddenly became ever so slightly bashful, “Yeah. I hope you like it.”

You take a bite of one of the chocolate chip cookies, something in you decided to tease him a little, making a face of slight disgust as you swallowed. His heart sank, a look of disappointment clearly covering his face. He spent all night making those, weren’t they up to your standard?

Panic washes over you as you saw a frown overtake his once smiling face, “I’m kidding! They’re good.”

Mingyu lets out a breath, the disappointment slowly disappearing as the two of you settled into an easy conversation, though that was never really difficult for the two of you. You and him have been friends for about a few years now, but he didn’t really know when exactly he started to see you as something more. He just knew that he did. This much was clear to him when he catches himself staring at you for a little too long, definitely longer than what would be considered normal. There was just something about you that enchanted him, whether it was you laughing over some silly joke he made, frowning as you become disappointed in the latest episode of a show you were watching, face illuminated by the light of a tv screen. You could be reading him your grocery list and he’d still think it was the most interesting thing in the world.

The extent of his feelings terrified him the first time he realized they were there in the first place. Mingyu wasn’t meant to feel that way for you, one of his closest friends. But he did, and the thought of you possibly not feeling the same way terrified him even more.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked, head tilted to the side, “Do I have something on my face?”

Mingyu shook his head quickly, he didn’t mean to stare again.

You felt a sharp sting on your ankle, wincing as you immediately yelped from the pain, “Ouch!”

“What’s wrong?” Mingyu asked, eyes alight with concern.

You shook your head in response, thinking it was just a lone ant deciding to inconvenience you. That thought was quickly dismissed when you felt another equally sharp sting near that same area.

“Oh no…” You trailed off, looking a few meters to the side of your picnic blanket, “Mingyu…”

“Oh!” He exclaimed, following your gaze to the trail of ants that were quickly making their way to the two of you. Great, was nature against him too?

The both of you immediately got up, covering containers, placing them in the basket, and folding up the picnic blanket before the rest of the ants could step their tiny little feet onto the blanket and into the food. As you walked to find a new spot to continue the rest of your date, Mingyu couldn’t help but feel a little bit discouraged. Three things had gone wrong in the span of a few hours, was this just the universe warning him that the two of you will never work out? Maybe telling him to back off early before he gets his heart broken.

In the distance, a low rumble breaks through what would’ve been the perfect day out, followed by a sharp crackle piercing through the air. The sky once a brilliant blue was suddenly covered in heavy, stormy clouds. The park that once basked in the sun’s golden glow became shrouded in gray, people seemed to know what was about to happen as they hurriedly packed their things and go home.

It started out a small droplets, like little kisses on your skin that almost felt like nothing. They were small, and they fell ever so slowly. For a brief moment, Mingyu thought that this was going to be over quick. Then suddenly, the sky weeped, loud and heavy as it drenched the entirety of the park in rain.

Okay, nature was definitely against him now.

Mingyu stopped walking, was there even a point to moving forward? Everything was ruined. The food should be inedible at this point, you and him were soaked and freezing, and it’s not like you could have a picnic on muddy park soil. At this point, the universe had sent him so many signs, he’d feel like a fool if he didn’t listen now. But still, he wished things had happened the way it did in his head. He let out a frustrated groan, tears nearly pricking the corners of his eyes.

“Are you okay?” You asked, a gentle hand on his shoulder. Mingyu was very clearly distressed, but you failed to see why. It’s nature, it’s not something you or him could control. Things like this happen and you should be spending your energy trying to find a place to shelter yourselves from the rain. You grab onto his arm, trying to pull him away, “Come on, let’s find a place that can cover us.”

“No! I’m not okay, Yn…” He trailed off, agitation seeping into each and every one of his words. He shrugs off his arm, much to your surprise. Usually, he’d let you cling onto him for as long as you liked. “I just wanted today to be perfect.”

You furrowed your brows, slightly confused at his irritation, “Why does it matter if today is perfect or not?”

Mingyu sighed, he was getting cold now. He wanted nothing more to be wrapped up in a blanket and have you in his arms. But he knew the chances of the happening now are essentially slim to none. The day was already ruined, and there’s nothing he could do to even remotely salvage it. “I just…”

You gestured for him to continue, waiting patiently as he tried to find the words to say.

“I wanted to give you the perfect date…” He spoke, looking down at his feet.

“Wait, this was a date?” You didn’t mean to sound surprised, you just genuinely were. Voice raising octaves and eyebrows shot up, talking too quickly to catch most of the words, “Like a date-date? I thought we were just hanging out! All you asked me yesterday was whether or not I was free!”

Mingyu’s shoulder’s slumped. He didn’t have to ask you to repeat himself, he heard you clearly despite how hard the rain currently came down, the beating of his own heart deafening him. In a way, he was thankful for the rain; at least you wouldn’t be able to tell if a few tears escaped his eyes. “I’m sorry, I just thought…yeah, no. I should have expected this.”

Guilt immediately flooded your senses, he must’ve read your shock as a rejection of his feelings. You didn’t mean to sound so startled at him thinking the entire day as a date, you just couldn’t believe the possibility that he felt the same way you did for him. “Mingyu.”

You were sure if he had heard you, his gaze still on the ground. You called out to him again, this time your voice much louder and sterner, hoping that it would get his attention. “Gyu.”

“What is it, Yn?” He looked up to find you making your way towards him, a small pout forming on your lips. Mingyu sighed, “You don’t have to do this. I’ll be fine.”

“I like you.” You spoke, just as you were about a few feet away from him, looking into his eyes to make sure he knew that you meant it — that you were being completely serious.

His world stopped. Suddenly, it seemed like the earlier events of the day never happened. He never woke up late, you hadn’t gotten the chance to catch-up with your ex-boyfriend, ants never tried to show up uninvited to your picnic, rain never poured down on the two of you. All these things he thought were signs from the universe, never occurred. There was only you and him, and you liked him back.

“Oooooh you wanna kiss me so bad.” You teased, attempting to snap him out of his trance.

Mingyu didn’t mean to stare at you again, speechless. He just couldn’t believe that this was real just yet. But your words, how you looked at him with a smile — expectant, like you were challenging him to do something, to make a move — finally made him realize just how real this was. “And what if I do?”

You blinked back, not expecting that bold of a response. Still, you took a single step forward, further closing the already small distance between the two of you. “I’d let you.”

Without another word, he moves a hand to your chin, gently tilting your face up so his lips could meet yours in a kiss.

— thank you for visiting cafe amore ! feel like ordering something else? check the menu here.

#seventeen imagines #seventeen fanfic #seventeen x reader #seventeen oneshot #mingyu x reader #mingyu imagines #mingyu fanfic #mingyu oneshot #ca completed order

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icedthoma · 4 years

Text

puns

Summary: How Deku, Todoroki, and Bakugou react to having a S/O who practically speaks in puns

Notes: I’ve actually never done headcanons before so uh let’s see how this goes

MIDORIYA IZUKU

“Did you know that making puns is a sign of intelligence? Taking words with double meanings and--”

“Midoriya, you don’t have to analyze these like it’s my quirk.”

This boy will straight up whEEZE whenever you make a pun, no matter how bad

They’re just genuinely hilarious to him (plus he enjoys how your face lights up as you tell them)

At least one person likes your puns smh

Your favorite thing to do is make him blush through flirty puns

No situation with you in it is safe

Even lunch

“Call me a hopeless ramen-tic, but I think I’m in love with you!”

He’ll be flustered at first, but he always ends up laughing at the end

Sometimes you think that he’s just laughing so you don’t feel bad, but it’s always at those times that Midoriya will surprise you with a stupid joke of his own.

TODOROKI SHOUTO

In the middle of a science lesson, there will just be a small “You can’t trust atoms, they make up everything”

Followed by a collective groan from the majority of class 1A

c a r l o s

You’ll turn around to where Shouto’s sitting in the back and he’ll give you a thumbs up and a smile in reassurance

He knows you get a lot of annoyed comments and takes it upon himself to make sure you never start to doubt yourself

Todoroki knows how hard pun-making actually is on the spot (he’s tried before, to your amusement) and genuinely thinks you’re really clever for being able to do that

He also loves the way you sometimes start laughing halfway through the joke like it’s the funniest thing on earth, barely managing to get through your sentence in one piece

so fucking cute

Half the time he’s not even paying attention to how bad your jokes are

His attention is focused on your beautiful smile

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

Will swear up and down, backwards and sideways that he hates puns with a burning passion

But you’ve seen the corner of his mouth turn up slightly after a joke on multiple occasions, and it’s what keeps you from giving up

Katsuki never really gave much thought to your jokes, until One Day

At first you all thought it was just Bakugou being Bakugou

He was yelling at Todoroki, which was pretty normal

But then it started to look like the two were going to go off on each other in the middle of the gym

Bakugou’s hands were sparking, and Todoroki’s right side was starting to get covered in ice

And you, being the intellectual you are

Yelled the first thing that came to your mind

“You all need to chill out!”

In the ten seconds of confused silence that followed as the two boys were connecting the dots, you dragged Bakugou away

“Just calm down, Bakugou, there’s no reason to be mad--”

He cuts you off with a burst of laughter.

You’re so surprised you can’t even say anything as he presses his forehead to your shoulder, still laughing

“I cannot believe that stupid pun was able to stop me from murdering Icy-Hot’s ass.”

“I knew you had a soft spot for them.”

“Shut up.”

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illbeyourreasonwhy · 4 years

Text

So Much I Think It Must Be...

Chapter 10: Out

Andi took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the couch, trying to work out what to do from here. She had taken a decision. She was going to tell her parents.

As soon as her mind stopped feeling like it was on fire.

Chapter 10 of my Ambi Enemies to Friends to Lovers fic! You can read it on ao3 here and from the beginning here. Hope you like it!

“Is movie night over already?”

Andi ignored Bex’s question, putting her coat down and pacing.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine,” Andi said forcefully, rushing into the kitchen to avoid more questions.

“Okay, uh – there’s leftover pizza in the fridge if you’re hungry,” Bowie’s voice called from the living room.

Andi knew they could tell something was up, but figured they would leave her alone for now, which she was grateful for. She kept pacing around the kitchen, chewing mechanically on pizza, and trying to get her mind to shut up.

She liked girls. Okay.

It wasn’t that big a shock. She had been questioning it for a while now. But there was something about realising it was true…

She liked girls. Did that mean she was bisexual? She really had liked Jonah… she thought… But it had felt different than this, than an all-encompassing and consuming stream of thoughts, this pure yearning tugging at her, digging into her and wanting, wanting… wanting what, exactly? She was freaking out too much to understand.

She made her way to her room, sitting on her bed and trying to mute the constant buzzing in her brain.

She needed to keep busy.

She took a shower. She changed into fresh pyjamas. She ate a yoghurt.

Then she went back to the living room. Bex was sitting in the corner of the couch, a book in her lap, and offered her a small smile.

Andi took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the couch, trying to work out what to do from here. She had taken a decision. She was going to tell her parents.

As soon as her mind stopped feeling like it was on fire.

“Where’s Bowie?”

“In the shower. He went after you.” Bex cocked her head, concerned. “Is everything okay?”

Andi nodded, her mouth suddenly dry.

For the next ten minutes she sat in silence, her mom occasionally shooting her worried looks over her book, trying to get the words out. She played with her sleeve, fidgeting as she tried to work up the courage to say the words tumbling in her head. She was terrified, more terrified than she could ever remember. Of course she thought her parents were going to accept her – this was Bex and Bowie she was talking about, the most accepting people she knew, and after everything they went through this should be nothing – but what if they didn’t?

She had been planning on waiting for Bowie to be back, but then her mom shot her another one of those concerned looks, and it just slipped out.

“Mom, I like girls.”

As soon as she said it, she fought the urge to bury her face in her hands. She couldn’t look at Bex, only heard her move closer from the rustle on the couch. Her heart was beating so fast and her face was hot and she felt like she was about to faint.

“Really?” her mother asked, her voice soft.

Andi could only nod weakly, still not meeting her eyes.

Then Bex said, “Okay, cool. Thanks for telling me.”

Andi looked up then. She had done it. She had come out. Oh, god, she had – she had come out.

It was out. She was out. If only to one person. She couldn’t take it back now. And she didn’t want to take it back.

She looked back at her mom, holding her breath. This couldn’t be it, there had to be more, her mom had to have an opinion on this, this couldn’t be it.

“Cool? That’s it?”

Bex moved to sit right next to her, a hand reaching up to go through Andi’s short hair. That, more than anything, helped Andi exhale. She still wasn’t sure she wasn’t going to pass out, but her mom still loved her. And that meant everything.

“Do you know how I met your dad?” Bex asked, pulling her out of her thoughts. Andi shook her head, still too emotional to say a word, and kind of wondering what this had to do with her coming out. “We were introduced to each other by my ex. Roxie.” Andi stared on, not getting her point, and Bex rolled her eyes fondly. “Short for Roxanne.”

Wait.

What?

“Funny story, she was his ex too,” Bex went on, Andi barely hearing her over her mind imploding. “When we started dating, we actually found out that we had four exes in common.”

And then, somehow, Andi found her voice again.

“You’re kidding.” Bex shook her head, deadly serious despite the teasing smile on her lips. And suddenly Andi burst out laughing. “You dated a girl called Roxie?”

“Hey, she was in a band! That’s always been my weakness.”

She joined in Andi’s laughter after a few seconds. Andi couldn’t help it. It was as if all the tension and worry that had been emanating off her for the past hour – no, longer than that, so much longer than that – had transformed into this dizzying mix of relief, glee and elation, leaving her light-headed with happiness. Bex seemed to get it – of course she did.

Bex hugged her after they had calmed down. “I’m proud of you,” she said quietly, and Andi wrapped her arms around her as tightly as she could.

Bowie found them like that a few minutes later. He asked what he had missed, and Andi almost laughed, despite the lead weight settling on her chest at the idea of doing this again, of coming out to another person. It wasn’t as huge this time, though. This time, she knew she was going to be okay.

“I like girls,” she said.

Her dad’s expression barely changed, aside from one of his eyebrows raising slightly. His eyes flitted over quickly to Bex, before settling onto Andi, a warm smile on his face.

“Cool,” he said, moving to sit next to her.

Andi did laugh this time, the elated feeling back in full force. “You two are made for each other.”

Bowie kissed the top of her forehead. The three of them stayed that way for the better part of the night, Andi sandwiched between her parents and feeling more at ease than she could remember.

Andi was in a daze as she called Buffy and Cyrus, unable to sit in one place as the pixelized faces of her friends appeared on her phone.

“Andi? What’s –”

“I came out to my parents.”

There were a few seconds of silence, then an outburst.

“Andi, that’s amazing,” Cyrus said, beaming.

“How did it go?” Buffy asked.

Andi gave them a full recap, from her realisation to coming out to her parents to going back to her room and having too much energy to sit still, prompting her to call her friends at 10 at night.

“I’m so proud of you,” Cyrus said, and Andi felt a rush of affection for him so powerful she almost cried. She hadn’t even told Cyrus about any of this, but here he was, reacting perfectly as always.

“We’re going to give you at least a million hugs when we get back,” Buffy added, and this time Andi did cry. Only a few tears, mostly of relief, and Buffy and Cyrus didn’t comment on it, only kept smiling at her.

“I have to go,” Buffy eventually said. “We’re leaving early in the morning. But we’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?”

They said their goodbyes, and Andi laid down in her bed, smiling. She knew she wouldn’t be getting sleep anytime soon, but it was worth it if it was to feel like this. She was more hyper than she could ever remember, an energy running deep in her entire body. She felt unstoppable, as if anything were possible.

Her phone tinged with a notification, and she opened a message from Cyrus.

Cyrus: so so proud of you <3

Cyrus: I’m sorry I wasn’t there while you figuring things out

Me: you were great

Me: i promise

Me: i just wasn’t ready to face it yet when you tried to get me to talk to you

I get it, he texted back, and Andi felt herself tear up again. Of course he understood. This was Cyrus. She felt a rush of love and affection go out to him.

Me: i love you

Cyrus: I love you too

True to her word, Buffy greeted Andi with a huge hug that almost knocked the air out of her lungs. Andi hugged her back just as tightly. She had missed her. A lot.

“I missed you so much,” Buffy said, mirroring her thoughts. “And I’m so proud of you.”

She had come over to Andi’s as soon as she arrived back in Shadyside, the middle of the afternoon after Andi had come out to her parents. Emotions were still running pretty high.

She stayed over for the rest of the day, the two of them catching up about everything and nothing, until a text from Jonah lit up both their phones.

Jonah: I’m back, let’s meet up

Marty: YES YES YES

Marty: FINALLY

Marty: My girlfriend and my best friend back the same day. Perhaps miracles do exist

TJ: rude

Marty: How many times do I have to tell you

Marty: You’re both my best friends

Jonah: anyways

Jonah: where are we meeting up?

Buffy rolled her eyes over at Andi, who just grinned. She didn’t think anything could dampen her mood today.

Buffy: if you guys are done

Buffy: I’m at Andi’s, she says you can all come over

TJ: except for me and cy

TJ: we’re excluded from everything

Buffy: forgive me for not feeling bad for you two living your best life on the coast in a 4 star hotel

TJ: smh

Everyone did end up coming over to Andi’s, even Amber. She and Andi watched in fascination as Marty ran as fast as he could to pick Buffy up and spin her in his arms, a bright smile on both their faces.

“What was up with you leaving so fast yesterday?” she asked.

“I, uh, remembered I had something to tell my parents,” Andi stammered.

Amber raised an eyebrow. “Fine, keep your secrets, Mack.”

But Andi found that she really, really didn’t want to. She wanted to tell Amber, she wanted to tell everyone. And yet… There was still this feeling buried deep inside of her, the fear of bearing this part of herself again and it not going well. She knew it was irrational (Amber was a lesbian, for goodness’ sake, and three of their friends were also gay), but, well, she wasn’t known for being rational, was she?

She was spared from answering by Jonah walking through the door. Marty let out a roar of delight before rushing over so the two of them could proceed to do a very complicated handshake that lasted a good fifteen seconds. Buffy just stared in consternation the whole time.

They all crowded in the living room, Andi and Jonah ending up sitting on the floor when the couch couldn’t fit all of them. Andi and Amber listened to everyone recapping their holidays; Amber told everyone about Andi’s contest coming up, which prompted Buffy to say that they would all come to see the results; Jonah announced an upcoming gig. It wasn’t until Marty mentioned that they should all get together for a new movie night soon that Andi was reminded of what had happened the previous night.

She shot a look at Buffy, who just gave her a supportive smile. It’s your choice, I’ll support you no matter what, she seemed to be telling her.

Andi looked around at all her friends. Her heart was beating irrationally fast again, like it had every time before she attempted to come out, but she wasn’t worried, not really. These were her friends, the people she loved the most in the world. It was going to be okay.

So she straightened up, opened her mouth, and said, “You know how I left in the middle of the show last night?”

Jonah looked clueless, but Amber, Marty and Iris turned to look at her curiously. It was obvious that they had been concerned but decided not to mention anything (at least, in Iris and Marty’s cases).

“It’s because…” The words wouldn’t come out and Andi panicked, searching for Buffy, who nodded, and managed a small smile. Andi took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, and then she said it. “It’s because I realised that I like girls.”

There was a short stunned silence. Then Marty said, “Oooh, that makes sense,” and suddenly everyone was talking.

Jonah and Marty both hugged her, Iris joked that she hadn’t meant to awaken anything in her, and Amber just watched, giving her an unreadable look when Andi met her eyes.

“Anyways,” Buffy said once the excitement died down. “Food?”

The crew made their way to the kitchen, raiding the fridge. Andi made a mental note to pay Bex and Bowie back for a few of the things that would have mysteriously disappeared when they got back from the gym.

“Hey, Jonah,” Marty called, “what does it say about you that all three of your ex-girlfriends ended up being lesbians?”

Jonah gave him a look while everyone roared with laughter.

“Hey, I think I like boys, too,” Andi said. She caught Amber’s eye, who smiled almost shyly, looking down. “I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out.”

Amber gave her a tiny smile, something in her eyes that Andi couldn’t describe, and Andi’s heart skipped a beat.

The group separated not long after that; Iris said that she had to get going if she wanted to pick up Natalie from her ultimate frisbee practise, which prompted Jonah to go with her so that he could see his friend again. Marty and Buffy decided to go to the Spoon so that they could catch up.

Which left Andi with Amber.

“I, uh, I can go too, if you want,” Amber said after a few moments.

“You don’t have to,” Andi said, and was surprised to find that she meant it.

Amber smiled at that. She didn’t seem to be able to look at Andi directly in the eye, always looking away after a few seconds, but her gaze always seemed to find her anyways.

“No, it’s fine, I should go,” she said eventually. Andi nodded, a little disappointed. “But, uh…” She hesitated, looking away from Andi again. “I just wanted to say that I’m glad you worked it out.”

“You mean you knew?”

Amber blushed. “No, I just meant that I’ve been through trying to figure yourself out, and I know it’s not always fun. Or easy.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “If you… want to talk about it, or anything, I’m there. No pressure.”

Andi looked down, touched. “Thanks.”

Amber smiled. “I’ll see you around.”

Andi walked her to the door; Amber left and Andi went back inside, catching herself looking back at the other girl as she walked away.

#my writing #smitimb #ambi #ambi efl #ambi fanfic #andi mack fanfic #andi mack

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woodys · 5 years

Text

Everytime I sit down and start to do these my first thought is: Read mores are so 2012.

But in moments like these — those moments where i’m really resounding with my inner self my second thought becomes “I need to put all of this to paper” or, er, in this case a post i’m like whatever. Because there’s no way I can write as fast as my thoughts fly but my typing is ridiculously fast and (85%) concise. Usually these posts too are pretty raw. I want to capsule as much as i’m thinking and feeling as I can. When i’m so moved to type like this, for the first time I can call myself selfish. I’m doing it for myself. A note to a later Me chronicling our growth. Not doing this for anyone else.

Today I feel like I hit a really big milestone. To my surprise, it’s not in association to the path of healing from the loss of my mom. I mean I guess it could be. It was something she was aware of and left me better reminders for. But today, for the first time in a long while, I just kinda looked at myself and thought: “Wow. I love me.”

The best way I can describe this week is like a rollercoaster. The beginning of this week started with this slow ascent up. Two big things happened with two fandoms (for lack of word smh) I deeply connect with. It could easily be said both of these things are deeply connected and rooted with who I am as a person. They’re huge pieces of me that can’t be ignored, even if I talk bad or aggressively deny my love for either of these things. I was just buzzing with so much excitement I honestly don’t know how I contained it as well as I did?? I just wanted to talk to everyone about it. My friends, my co-workers even, heck I even ended up blabbing about it to my family (which is another story but for general consensus they’re hardly in favor of my deep interests) about them.

But this really gross decent in this coaster came when I felt...in all the places I feel that I put most of myself in, I was either indirectly told “shut up” or was overall spoken over. It really stung me. It threw me in a slump real quick. People have commented to me how i’m an emotional person and I know that. I’m every bit of emotion all at once. (if you consider life like Inside Out in often occurrence you could say my emotions are probably overworked and usually clocking in overtime. 😂) To feel everything all the time? Yeah, for the longest i’ve called this my curse.

So imagine the rollercoaster eases up, slows down, and it’s just going on this straight path. No loops, no curves. Just straight forward. I’m watching the world go hype over these things. I’m looking at fanart, i’m watching videos. But in the back of the mind i’m punishing myself. “You feel too much about these things and it’s stupid. These are silly things to have even deeply connected yourself to. Be quiet.” “I shouldn’t emote too much about it. Even if it makes me want to scream with joy, there’s not a place anyone wants this. Don’t be obnoxious on Tumblr. Stagger your reblogs on Twitter. Don’t talk about it at all. You feel too much and not everyone wants to see how you’re feeling about it. Be considerate.”

Looking back now, those thoughts were so disgusting. Calling myself doing a service for everyone else, it just made me feel more miserable. I think I was on the ebb of a small depressive slump before I finally broke down about it to a friend. God lemme tell you how grateful I am to have this person in my life because she really knocked me to my senses. Thanks to this person I was able to really rationalize, to think, and reflect. On my relationships, on people, but mostly myself. Which I hardly ever do, so concerned about others 24/7. (you wanna talk about a REAL curse there)

I realize that everyone is different. We all handle situations differently and react differently to different things. How someone else universally reacts doesn’t mean it works the same or as well as someone else. This is common knowledge, I know, but look. When you’re really in your feelings even the common things become a little obscure.

It’s totally okay for me to be excited about the things I love. It’s totally okay to be happy, to want to yell about it, share it with the people you care about even if they don’t want to give a care about it at all. That’s cool. I won’t share it then. I’m excited about it. Even if it seems childish. Even if it seems like it’s something no one wants to hear about it. I love this. Someone else’s positive or negative response does not justify how good or bad me being excited about it is.

My yelling, my deep connections to the things I love, my excited posts over one thing— that’s what makes, Me. Even if for someone else it’s not all that and a bag of chips, to ME it’s always gonna be a bag of chips, soda, cotton candy, and every breakfast food (except hashbrowns) out there. And I can’t help it if I get excited over it.

On my way to see The Lego Movie 2 with my best friend today, I started crying. That’s right, i’m in this smol tiny red car, blasting this really cheery song from the movie called the Catchy Song because i’m SO EXCITED and HAPPY that i’m going to see this movie again. I’m SO overwhelmed with emotion that i’m about to see this colorful, silly looking movie AGAIN, filled with characters i’ve made connections with that I can’t do anything else but cry! That is such a beautiful feeling to have. Compared to months ago, how my tears came from this dark and deep hollow and empty feeling, three months later i’m crying because i’m so HAPPY. I got to see this movie happen! I got to experience this movie and feel the happiness of seeing these characters I love in action again. I got the chance to hear this song. I get the chance to hear it and dance to it again. I get the chance to share it with my best friend and see his reactions! I made it to today to FEEL all of THIS.

It’s not a curse to feel everything all at once. Feeling everything is what makes even the littlest things the BIGGEST adventure. Feeling everything is what makes every disappointment I run into seem like the end of my world. Feeling everything is what makes my anger blaze so hot that I gotta give myself days to cool off. Feeling everything is what gives MY life a little extra fun to go through. It’s colors, sparkles, and those excessive amounts of emotional glitter that just so happens to explode at slightly inopportune times. Of course, that’s not the green light to let my emotions run wild, but, I shouldn’t punish myself because I react as loudly as I do. I’ll be so loud, because it’s 100% me. Not 50%, not a tailored 75%. But it’s authentic and true.

My bestie and I were the last to leave from the theater because we’re both still sitting there mid-credits while i’m dancing in my seat, shouting the Catchy Song, this new anthem of mine, word from word. I hear him sing the chorus (JUST ONCE GOD BLESS) and overall he’s really letting me have that moment. (Or maybe at this point my antics don’t phase him anymore which is likely the case. 😂) For me it felt like a celebration, living my best life, so happy that i’m dancing in an empty movie theater with my best friend at my side. That’s a Mimi reaction. Something about myself I should be and always be proud of. This is where the rollercoaster speeds up, and hits back on the climb heading to a tippy top where there’s loops and twirls and all the swirlie swirls that make it the FUNNEST THRILL RIDE EVER.

The right people will accept the way I emote. The better people will embrace that about me. For others, it might not work out at all. Either way, no matter what anyone says I love that I can feel everything about anything. If anything, that’s what makes me fun! My REAL conversations and Twitch streams would be a snooze otherwise. It feels so wonderful to say “yes I love THIS about me”. I’m not gonna let this self love hour leave me.

In close, YES you bet I’m going to see The Lego Movie 2 one more time. Because I love it, it’s so special to me, it’s pay week AND if I have to wait infinity years for the DVD I better FOR SURE etch every moment I can of it into my brain. Until then though, Catchy Song on repeat pls. ♥ ♥ ♥

#long post #**#nts #2k19 tag #captured sunshine

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